#Just a scenario if he were to cave into his Intrusive thoughts and put his suffering on someone else | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eatdearth · 1 year

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Timing: During Jasper's No-Face Era Location: The Magmacave, Gatlin Fields (underneath) Feat: @eatdearth & @magmahearts Warnings: Jasper's intrusive thoughts, sensory deprivation? Summary: A faceless Jasper tries to find his way out of the mines but instead stumbles into Cass' Magmacave. Cass offers to help but Jasper makes it weird.

It wasn’t exactly rare for things to wander from the mines into the Magmacave. There were a lot of entrances within the cave system that led from one to the other; Cass had made use of it herself plenty of times now, exploring both manmade and natural rock structures with excitement and vigor. But when something wandered into her cave, she knew to proceed with caution. Wicked’s Rest was a dangerous place to be, after all — she had to be careful if she wanted to avoid becoming a cautionary tale.

So when she heard something stumbling around, she approached slowly. Quietly, carefully until it came into sight. Or, until… he came into sight? At first, she only saw the back of his head. He looked lost, he looked uncertain. And then he turned around, and she saw the rest of him. Namely, the blank place where his face should have been.

She remembered this. From the cave-in, the moment when that crystalized thing spit on Milo’s face and then his face was gone. It looked just like this, and that meant it had to be the same thing, didn’t it? That meant this guy had faced the same monsters they’d come across in the cave that day.

Carefully, Cass scooted forward. “Can you hear me?” She asked experimentally, uncertain. Milo had been able to hear, she was pretty sure, but what if it was different for everyone? Clearly, whatever had happened to this man hadn’t just happened. Maybe it was a progressive thing.

Darkness and silence. These were the two friends that kept Jasper company as he struggled to make his way out of the wretched mines. Whatever attacked him left him alive. Or at least he still feels he’s alive. There was no pain, no persisting aching or phantom longing, except maybe for what was now missing from his head. He could no longer see, so his eyes were gone. He could barely smell anything, if he even could at the moment, so his most prominent feature, the tall bridge that was the centerpiece of his face, was also gone. His ears and his mouth? He couldn’t feel them anywhere on his head.

Jasper warily put his hands in front of him as he moved, careful to not throw himself off a cliff or into a jagged piece of protruding rock in front of him. The mines were dangerous enough when dimly lit. In absolute darkness, it was a death sentence. How surprised was he then, when he realized he was surviving for far longer than he would even expect on a good day? Despite already confirming that the entirety of his mouth, including his luscious lips and above average tongue, were gone, he still tried to call out for help, though nothing audible or understandable came out of him. Who would even hear him out there? No one in their right mind would be in the mines at this hour, at this time.

Hear him? Jasper’s right eyebrow went up. Or at least it would have if it was still there, which it wasn’t. He tilted his head to one side, taking a few seconds to confirm, but, yes, he could still hear things even without his ears. How strange. The pitter-patter of a nearby trickle of water, not enough to be drinkable, definitely not enough to be a stream or underground river. How was he hearing things? Was it just his imagination? Or was it because it was still too early for him to lose his hearing since the attack? Or maybe it was because he had been listening to a bunch of songs on his stupid phone before he was attacked, before he lost his face. Was that even a thing? A thousand possibilities swarmed Jasper’s thoughts, drowning his mind in a myriad of scenarios, though none of which were ultimately helpful at this point in time.

Then he heard a woman’s voice. Jasper instinctively tilted his head so that the place where his right ear would have been was in the air, slightly higher than the rest of it, as if that would help him hear better. He tried to answer the question, but again, not a sound came out of him. He started to yell internally, scream as hard and as loud as he could think himself to, but again, to no avail. In a last desperate attempt, he stretched his hands forward, as far as they would go, away from his body, trying to get a hold of this person, to feel this beacon of hope, yearning for the touch that would confirm whether she was real or just another hallucination. Maybe he’d even get lucky and— Jesus freaking Christ, this isn’t a sitcom, brain! Focus!

He seemed to respond to her, in a way. His head tilted, he moved his faceless face as if he was trying to speak. No sound came out, but of course it wouldn’t; there was no mouth for it to escape from. Cass remembered Milo’s voice coming out of the thing that took his face when this had happened to him, and she wondered absently if this man’s voice was in some creature somewhere spouting out memes the way the one they’d encountered during the cave-in had been. Though… something told her that the meme thing had been mostly tied to the face that was stolen. Who knew what this guy’s face would be saying?

Arms stretched out towards her, and Cass hesitated only for a moment before reaching out and taking the man by the wrist. She tugged him forward carefully, making sure his feet avoided uneven ground and rocks that seemed like they’d be easy to trip over.

“You’re in a cave,” she told him carefully, speaking slowly and loudly. Was it hard for him to hear her? She had no idea, but it seemed like a good bet. He didn’t have any ears. “I don’t know if you knew that or not. I think you came in out of the mines, though, so maybe you started there. There’s a creature that takes faces. I think that’s probably what you ran into, huh?” He couldn’t respond to her, of course, so she didn’t bother asking him any questions that needed a real answer. Except…

He could still move his head, couldn’t he? That meant they could do yes or no questions. “You can nod for yes or shake your head for no. Okay?” She gave him a moment to ‘respond,’ then continued. “Do you know where the thing that took your face went?”

Jasper immediately shuddered, cowered, when he felt something grab his wrist, someone. Despite that, he didn’t try to resist. All he wanted was to get out of the freaking caves, get back his freaking face, and it didn’t matter how he’d do those things, who would help him do those things. This guy could be one of those serial killers or whatever and Jasper would be fine with getting abducted by him. At the very least, he’d be somewhere else, far from whatever that thing was. On the surface, outside the mines, his chances of being found, rescued, would be much better, even if he’d be found, rescued, as a victim of some stinky backwater serial killer.

Oh, my fucking god! Is that a girl? Jasper felt a sigh of relief wash over him, not unlike cold water on his bare body on a hot summer day, when he heard her voice. He didn’t even register the fact that she was telling him what he already knew—of course he knew about the mines and caves; he was an expert in that field—never mind the fact that she probably didn’t know any of that. A creature? That takes faces? She did know more about the situation than him. He had thought it was just some asshole who threw acid on his face and melted it all, but if it was a creature that takes faces, maybe he can get his back somehow?

Jasper nodded at her first question. Okay. His head was still tilted, angled, in a way that made him look like a confused puppy who couldn’t see in the dark so it was trying to listen to things that would help it survive. Jasper shook his head at the second question. There was no way for him to have known where the creature that stole his face went. He should’ve made sure to note that but it all happened so fast and Jasper has never been that kind of smart. He was book smart, could memorize rocks and shit, but common sense always seemed to elude him. A terrible tradeoff. Jasper tried to move his hands around, trying to touch the girl’s face, just to confirm that she was in fact a girl, a human, and not some other creature trying to butter him up so it could eat him when his guard was fully down. It would have to buy him dinner first.

He seemed to relax a little as she spoke, and that felt good. Like she was doing something right, like she was making his situation better. In all honesty, she didn’t know how to help him in a real, tangible way. With Milo, killing the creature that took his face had given it back to him, but Cass had no idea where the creature responsible for this man’s predicament might be. Even if she found it, she would have no way of knowing. She didn’t know what this man looked like with a face on, so she wouldn’t recognize that face on the body of one of those face-snatching beats, would she? So what were her options here, exactly? What was it she was supposed to do?

Get him to the surface. Find someone who knows him. Make him feel safe. That was all she really could do, wasn’t it? It wasn’t much, but it was better than leaving him to wander in the caves until he died.

But there might not be much anyone could do outside of that. Her heart sank as he shook his head. No, he didn’t know where the creature that stole his face had gone. That meant they didn’t even have a place to start as far as how to take it out. She noted the way his hands were searching, figured out what he wanted and guided his hands to her face briefly. “That’s okay,” she told him, removing his hands so she could speak. “We’ll figure something out. I’m going to take you out of the cave. Do you, um… Is there someone I can call? You could… tell me their number with your fingers? Or do you still have your phone on you?” Gosh, she hoped he didn’t use face ID to unlock it.

Jasper instinctively shuddered, flinched, when his hands touched something soft and flesh-like. As if he didn’t expect to touch anything soft and flesh-like. Even though that was the whole point of him flailing his hands everywhere, to confirm that he was talking to someone soft and flesh-like, human, not something monstrous. Monsters aren’t usually soft and flesh-like. Even if they were soft, they’d usually be wet or hairy, furry, sometimes prickly. Oh, god, what if this is just a monster wearing someone’s skin?! He should be able to tell if that was the case, right? Right?

Gulping, Jasper hesitantly tried his best to remain calm, choosing to focus on trying to make out what he was in fact touching. It didn’t take him long to find a nose, cheekbones, ears, even an eye. Or at least that’s what he thought they were, considering they were where his natural protrusions and orifices would have been if his face had not been stolen. So far, so good… My fingers have not been bitten yet. Or my entire hand swallowed.

Still tilting his head toward the wrong direction, his ear—or at least where it was supposed to be—more toward her face than his eyes—or at least where they were supposed to be—should have been, Jasper nodded as desperately as he could. He tried to tell her that he lost his phone somewhere in the mines, too, but without a voice, and more importantly, without a mouth, all he could do was mime with his hands and his right butt cheek. Why does she keep saying cave instead of mines? Is this not another part of the mines? I don’t remember being in a cave that wasn’t in the mines… If Jasper could squint, he would’ve. Where was he, and why was this woman in here? What was this, some sort of Batcave? And who was she, some sort of Batgirl?

It was obvious that he was afraid. She could practically feel it radiating off of him, could feel the vibration of his desperate heart in his chest thrum thrum thruming as it hummed a tune of terror. Cass wanted to help him, because that was what heroes were supposed to do, but how could she? She couldn’t return his face to him without knowing what became of the monster that took it. She couldn’t even offer him any real answers as to what the monster had been or what it was doing with his face. Her experience with the face-stealing monster from before was so limited, so soaked in the anxiety and fear of the moment it all occurred.

But she could let him feel her face. She could reassure him that he wasn’t alone anymore, even if she couldn’t do much more than that. It wasn’t a lot, she knew; it was only one step above nothing, but that still made it better than nothing, didn’t it? Not being alone must have counted for something, even if it didn’t count for much.

He didn’t seem to have a phone on him, from what she could tell. She wasn’t really sure what he was trying to say, but if he had had a phone, he probably would have pulled it out right about now. But that was okay; they could make do. “Do you know anyone’s phone number? I have my phone, so I could call someone for you if you know their number.” He could communicate numbers with his fingers, at least. Anything more than that, though… This was hard. This was a hard spot to be in. For him and for her.

Jasper fought the urge to move his hands down the rest of the woman’s body. He wasn’t sure what she looked like but that didn’t really matter, as she sounded like a woman, so she must be a woman. Only one way to find out…NO! Stupid man brain! What’s the worst that could happen? She’d slap him? She wouldn’t even know who he was, considering he had no face on. I’d know! The Universe would know! Also, I don’t even know if she has a weapon! She could stab me! Dying would be a welcomed respite at the moment, though. It might be a whole lot better than living a life without a face.

Jasper was starting to lose his mind, it felt like. It was bad enough that he could not see anything but he probably looked like a monster to everyone else, except for this strange woman in the strange cave that he couldn’t even see. What if she wasn’t even real? Just a product of his imagination, his desperation, his sanity having been stolen by that thing, too? No, he touched her. That means she’s real, right? Just slumped on the ground, too confused to function. If only there was a way to communicate with her without speaking, if she was even real and not a trap by the mines.

Then it hit him! Jasper had been through this before. Not lose his face to a monster, this was a new experience for sure, but be in a silent war with a woman. They did not speak to each other for weeks until their eventual break-up. But they did communicate still…with pen and paper! Turning his faceless head to where he thought the woman was still standing, he made the gesture for her to give him a pen and paper. Sure, he wouldn’t see the damned things, so his message might be less than legible, but maybe it would be easier to write his stupid ex’s number! He was so high in his “breakthrough” that he was complicating things. Surely, it’d be easier to make number gestures with his fingers.

He was doing… something with his hands. It took Cass a moment to comprehend what. But when she did — oh! That certainly made more sense than using fingers, didn’t it? She dug around in her pockets until she found a receipt, thankful that she’d actually bought something the last time she went to A Latte Love rather than just stand around and bother Wynne until they got off their shift. She found a pen, too; she was pretty sure she’d swiped it from a table in the mall, though she had no idea why she’d taken it. It had a frilly pom pom on the end. Maybe that was what had captured her attention.

“Here,” she said, pressing both items into his hands and making sure she had a good grip on them before pulling her hands away. And then – “Oh! Let me take you over to the wall so you can have something to write against, okay?” Carefully, she led him over to the smoothest section of the cave wall. It wouldn’t allow for neat handwriting, and she imagined his presumed blindness would only make it messier, but hopefully he’d be able to manage legible.

With him in position to write, she leaned back. “Okay,” she said. “Um, you should be able to write now. So… What’s your name? That’s probably the best place to start. And, um, if you remember the date you got lost, that would probably be good too?”

To say that Jasper was an idiot would be the understatement of the year. As soon as he had the piece of paper(?) and pen, he immediately tried writing his name. Fortunately for him, his attempt was made somewhat easier when the girl led her to a wall. He took a second or two to touch the wall, his brain telling him to check if it was in fact suitable as a surface to write on. Well, at least support the paper and pen so he can write legibly. It must’ve been awkward for anyone, watching a faceless buffoon tilt his head in the wrong direction while attempting to write his name.

His first attempt came out as ‘Jasjen,’ mostly because he tried to write his name in cursive, an attempt that he expected to be much easier than what he ended up with. Fortunately for whoever was helping him, he immediately realized a contingency, and quickly re-wrote his name in non-cursive: ‘J as per.’ Close enough. The date he got lost? He wasn’t even sure what date it was at the moment. Has he been there for days already? Or was it just an hour after the attack? It all seemed the same for Jasper, as if time had stopped entirely, with days and weeks and hours melting together in a horrific torment fit for hell. Then it hit him. Of course he remembered the date he lost his face. He was, after all, a scientist, who dated his journal entries. For science. June 30, 2023, which he wrote as ‘06l3O/223.’ Close enough.

Then something else hit him. A possible cure! Remember how Jasper was an idiot? Well, considering that he already lost his face to something that science may not be able to explain, why not find a solution in fantasy, right? Specifically, Snow White. Or was that Sleeping Beauty? Heck, they all seemed the same to him now. What with their faces and stuff. Jasper quickly jotted down his stupidly desperate salvation, barely making the two words fit on the receipt, before stretching both his arms to where he thought the person was, human or not: ‘Kiss ne.’ If he had lips, he would have been puckering at that moment.

She squinted as he wrote, wondering how hard it must have been. It certainly couldn’t have been easy, because she didn’t think Jasjen was anyone’s name, especially given how quickly he seemed to feel the need to correct it. “Jasper,” she read the name written in messy scrawl out loud. That was a real name, wasn’t it? A pretty cool name, too. “You know, that’s a rock, too. An opaque variety of Chalcedony. Usually it’s brown, yellow, or reddish. You can find it all over, but usually it’s found in India, Russia, Egypt, Madagascar, Australia, and South and North America.”

She was rambling. She knew she was rambling. Going on and on about rocks because she was in uncharted territory here. It was easier to go on a tangent than it was to let herself really exist in this situation she had no control over, to let herself acknowledge that, even if she got him out of the cave, she had no way to actually help him. She knew how to get his face back, but knowing how meant nothing if they couldn’t find the creature that stole his face to begin with. And judging by the date he wrote on that paper… “You’ve been down here a while.” How would they even track that creature down now? Was there any hope of it at all?

Something seemed to occur to him, something exciting. She watched him scribble with some curiosity, taking a step back when his arms stretched towards her. Reading the words on the page, she made a face. “Ew, dude, I’m twenty,” she said, wrinkling her nose. She didn’t know how old he was — hard to tell, given the whole ‘no face’ thing — but judging by how he moved and stuff? He was older. That wasn’t the only barrier, of course. “Also, you don’t even have a face. And no offense, but you’ve been down here a long time, and you kind of smell.”

What the actual fuck? Jasper cringed, or more precisely, winced, moving his body inches away from the direction of the girl’s voice, as if he was in complete shock, when she started explaining what jasper the rock was. In his head, he played a memory clip of that meme where the fat dad from Family Guy—of course he couldn’t remember the character’s name right then and there—went ‘who the fuck starts a conversation like that, I just sat down’ or something along those lines. In all his times of introducing himself by his name, few ever mouthed out factoids about rocks. But that disbelief was immediately overshadowed by him being impressed by the woman’s knowledge of his own field, so much so that he had already forgotten cringing, or more precisely wincing, at her intellectual blabbering.

Jasper nodded his head, fervently so, when she mentioned he had been down there for a while. It took him a little more while to realize the gravity of that fact. He had been down there for a while. Not a few minutes, not a few hours, but a while. No one ever says ‘a while’ unless they were downplaying the amount of time lost, especially in his current situation. He started to panic, his throat drying so suddenly. He could feel his heart race, and his hand immediately went to his chest. He felt like dropping down on the ground but instinctively reached for her to get some leverage, to balance himself, to keep his legs from failing him.

And then it got worse. She’s fucking twenty?! Oh, god. Oh, god, oh, god, oh, god. It was Jasper’s worst nightmare. He almost kissed a child! Or at the very least, one of his students! That would have been really bad. Terrible. Horrible. Catastrophic. Sure, some twenty-year-old people were cute and beautiful and fine, but that’s just being objective. He should still have his limits, his discipline, his pride or standards or whatever old-timey dudes called their—honor. Something like that. The faceless old man shook his head fervently before doing what a man of his advanced age would have done in this very situation—run! Or at least he tried to. Without eyes, Jasper was just stumbling in the dark. Painfully slow. Awkwardly slow. Even though in his head he was doing his best to scram before the FBI agents came rushing in. I DIDN’T KNOW!

She felt pretty bad for the guy. Even without a face, it was pretty clear that he hadn’t realized how long he’d been down here, that it came as a surprise to him. She couldn’t imagine what that was like, but it must have been scary. Being lost was one thing, but being lost with no face? With no ability to even see where it was you were wandering? She didn’t envy him. She wanted to help him, but… Helping him might be a little hard.

Especially because he started running. In the wrong direction. Cass sighed. She didn’t want to chase him, didn’t want to scare him more, but… subtly, she shifted the ground beneath his feet to turn him so that he was running on a straight path towards the opening of the cave. Not much, but at least it would get him out of here. And… okay, maybe she didn’t really want him to be her problem anymore. Was that so bad?

She watched him go, following along behind and changing his direction every so often until he burst out of the cave and into the afternoon light. Then, she stood at the mouth of the cave and watched as he continued. She’d look for the face stealer that got him, of course, but until then… Well.

Good luck, Faceless Jasper.

#wickedswriting #❖《 ⋯ ♖ feat. cass akamai #❖《 ⋯ ♖ para ♜ ⋯ 》❖#《 ⋯ ❖ face off ❖ ⋯ 》#《 ⋯ season one ❖ canaries ⋯ 》#❖《 ⋯ ♖ no face jasper era ♜ ⋯ 》❖

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always-andromeda · 2 years

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Ooooh shit it’s my problematic fave: hate to love him, love to hate him, god help me it’s a good thing this man is cute

“The World Ender” for Calvin, pretty please ❤️ extra detail: reader is also a writer, and Calvin and reader are a bit competitive (maybe he’s even jealous of her at times, but she has no clue about that), but reader gets some particularly bad feedback on her writing (not from Calvin, from someone else), and she starts to doubt her abilities to the point where she’s extremely discouraged and down. Calvin catches her crying and puts his ego aside and steps in to comfort her/encourage her. The relationship of these two is sort of like enemies to lovers vibes. Thank you!

Author's Note | your juicy, big brain thoughts absolutely kill me, hon. like I planned on keeping these under 1,000 words but you gave me this prompt and my brain went NYOOM and now we have over 1,300 words of a scenario that I'm in love with and it's all your fault!! (in a positive way, lmao, love you, bb)

This is so stupid, you think to yourself as you mope on the stairwell of your publishing company’s building. After years of working through all of your anxiety and procrastination and the logistics, you’d published a book. Your first one since your debut a few years prior. You did the thing that everyone said you couldn’t do and that was come up with a worthy follow up.

And of course some asshole critic had to give their two cents. Amongst the flood of praise from your peers and the general public alike, some snot-nosed, insolent, slimy book reviewer had written a scathing review.

Uninspired. Incompetent. Unintelligible garble. This book is a waste of paper.

You scrolled through the review, skimming through each line that seemed tailor-made to make you break down completely. Had everyone simply been lying? They'd all told you that you were so talented. A promising young author. Had you really fallen so far in the years it took to build up your confidence again?

Calvin was particularly annoyed to find the elevator was out of order. After the particularly taxing meeting with Langdon, Calvin hated the idea of having to go back down the stairs. On the walk up, he'd been so confident. Finally ready to set a deadline for the first draft of his next book only to find out that Langdon hated his ideas and wanted him to go back to the drawing board.

With his ego shot, he's almost delighted to find you sitting on the steps as he rounds the corner onto the bottom floor.

The back and forth he has with you isn't playful, by any means. From the moment he'd overheard you say that you thought his first book was overrated at one of Langdon's parties, he'd been perpetually holding his nose up. At least his book was being sold. Sure, it had been years since he'd finished something that lived up to it...but at least he was working.

You, on the other hand, had taken a break for a few years. Too much pressure from the industry had made you cave. Calvin had scoffed at the news; he thought you were weak. A delicate little flower that couldn't handle criticism.

Calvin remembered reading your book the week it came out. Unusually, he devoured it all in a few sittings. And even if he was grasping for straws...he couldn't find anything he glaringly disliked. He thought he would have written a few passages better here and there. But that was just him being picky. On a technical level...it was brilliant. He'd closed your book shut when he finished it and simply decided that he was never going to give you the satisfaction of knowing his thoughts.

The urge to make up some bullshit insult upon spotting you is strong, yet, it subsides when he hears a high pitched cry. Then a short sniffle. Are you crying?

You hear his shoes stepping on the stairwell as he gets closer and you wipe away your undereyes with a knuckle.

Your head whips around to find the source of the intrusive sound. "Calvin?"

He sees your bleary eyes. Clearly red. Nose still running just a little as your back straightens in his presence. "Y/N." he greets coldly. He tries to keep his nose up. Tries to pass by as if he doesn't care even in the slightest that he caught his rival breaking down in the harshly lit stairwell. As if the idea of making some snide comment with the express purpose of kicking you while you're down didn't make him feel downright sick inside.

But as he reaches the step you sit on, he gives into the compelling urge to sit beside you. Almost instinctively you grimace to yourself and scoot a little further away.

Smoothing your hair back and sighing you ask, “What do you want from me this time, Calvin? Planning on saying I told you so?”

Really, Calvin can't think of anything to say. There's nothing aside from a bone-chilling awkwardness seeping into his touch as he slowly pats your back. Because if he knows one thing, he knows that you don't need him adding onto whatever pile you've got forming in your head.

"Are you okay?" he raises an eyebrow behind those tortoiseshell glasses and it makes you want to cry all over again. Are you really about to accept comfort from the notoriously full of himself, arrogant, douche, Calvin Weir-Fields? The answer to that seems to be a yes as you sob out loud, burying your red face in your hands.

"Why am I like this?" you ask, muffled by your hands.

"Ummm...I don't know...?" Calvin tries slowly.

You look at him suddenly, "Did you read the new Times article today? The one by Robert Novak?"

Of course he had. He drank in every single review. Mostly trying to find someone else who could possibly give him a reason to dislike your book. Robert Novak should've been his best friend for that task. He was relentless, tearing into your pages like he was being paid per word. Maybe he was. Maybe that's why he used so many run-on sentences and pulled random critiques out of thin air.

Regardless of that, Calvin was sure that by the end of the article that Robert Novak had no idea what he was talking about. And, frustratingly, your book was actually good.

"Yeah, it was...certainly one hell of a read."

"I put everything into that book. And he said it was garbage. I spent months pouring out my entire heart...and this one asshole...manages to get to me."

Calvin puts his hands up to explain, "Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure the guy is a hack. One second he's writing about how your main character's character arc was nonexistent and the next he's claiming that the plot line doesn't justify the changes that the main character went through. I mean," Calvin chuckles nervously, "Pick a side."

You stare forward for a few seconds, processing for a few seconds before Calvin has the chance to ramble again, "You actually read my book?"

Calvin tries to loosen a little, screwing his face up into a nonchalant grin, "Of course...just for...comparison...purposes. Gotta keep in tune with what the public is consuming these days..."

You stifle your own smile at his forced demeanor. You know what a truly indifferent Calvin looks like and this isn't it. This Calvin is sweet.

He waves the excuse away, "Never mind. Just know that...Robert Novak has no fucking clue what he's talking about. I'd be willing to bet that snob didn't even read it. Probably had a deadline to hit so he came up with whatever bullshit he could while skimming it. Wouldn't be the first time some asshole half assed something just to fulfill a quota."

Calvin knew that situation all too well from every time he had to rush to finish one of his short stories for review and publication. Just some asshole...half assing a project...whereas you had channeled your soul into your work. How dare he be such a snob?

You nod slowly, already beginning to feel better. "So I assume you liked my book."

"It was...alright." Calvin cleared his throat, "Tolerable." Perfect.

"You really expect me to believe that?" you cock an eyebrow at him.

"Hey, don't get too full of yourself."

You scoff playfully, "You're one to talk."

Calvin just stares at you. And he feels like he's looking at you with brand new eyes as he laughs at himself and concludes with a light smile, "Yeah. I am one to talk."

#strange trails milestone✨#ruby sparks #calvin weir fields #calvin weir fields x reader #calvin weir fields x you #calvin weir fields x y/n #˚ʚ meda writes ɞ˚

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yandereaffections · 3 years

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I am interested in commissioning scenarios for tanjiro, giyu, and Eren. (3 separate scenarios). I was wondering about what would happen if their s/o found out they were a supernatural being and then ran in fear. How would they get back with their s/o?

GIYU - NAGA

What was supposed to be a nice evening stroll to get your thoughts off of the days and work to come quickly became a stressful situation. Due to just one wrong turn somewhere down the man made path through the trees the sounds of the woods around you no longer brought you ease, the different colored leaves falling were no longer a beautiful sight just another thing that disoriented you. Even worse is that these yellow, orange and red leafs covering the ground are a clear sign it's going to get colder as the sun continues to lower in the sky

Each step taken amplifies your regret, thinking you should've just sat at home with a book instead of walking through the hiking paths that doesn't seem to have any landmarks or navigation marks of any kind. Mumbled curses at yourself halted at the sight of a new path, leafs moved out of the way indicating that there must be someone maintaining this rather small track, it must lead to one of the nearby villages or at the very least someone's house, anything to escape the September night air that's progressively dropping in temperature.

The new course became steep rather quickly, slithered in-between trees and around the rocks fallen from the wall of dirt and roots besides you. "I'm just getting lost again" you whispered out to yourself in defeat, about to turn back around and see if you can retrace your steps again before realizing just where the 'trail' ended. A cave, or something more of a deep indent in the mountain wall, a space deep enough for what seems like a man to be sleeping on top of the pelts of at least a dozen woodland animals covering the cold forest floor

The shivering grip on your arms in an attempt to keep yourself warm stopped within one whiff of the smell of blood, despite the lack of light as the sun sets behind the trees you can already tell most of the pelts that you can identify are relatively new, after all winter is coming. Looking at the sight in front of you still trying to understand just what the man was laid on top of in addition to the animal skins you only noticed his eyes were staring right back at you when you locked gazes. Piercing and sharp they never took their glare away from your shaking form, a minute of tense silence from your surroundings haunting the soul of you before he started moving, helping you realize just the creature you put yourself in front of

Without hesitation you ran back down the hill you hiked up, cursing out the fear gripping at your chest along with the sharp breaths of chill air, refusing to become another pelt for that monster to warm themselves with. The rocks you tripped on didn't matter, the pace must be maintained from the beast that's surely following close behind, the sounds of leafs being pushed aside at the intrusion of is reptilian half couldn't be mistaken for anything else, no other animal dared to cross into its territory other than your ignorant self.

Once again a wrong turn had you heading off path, slipped on the fallen tree branch you found yourself facing down the side of the far up mountain side you were on. Almost as soon as the dirt slipped from underneath your foot a hand grabbed your arm, the pain that shot through it due to the muscles suddenly being yanked the opposite direction couldn't compare to what you would have felt if the creature didn't pull you back to the earth. "As expected, nothing good comes from humans wandering into the forest" you heard him speak through the racing thoughts that can barely keep up with what's happening "stop struggling, you obviously won't last long on your own." Feeling the vibrations from his slightly rough chest you suddenly realized you were basically being cradled by the same giant snake of a man you were running from. Taken back up the path, you were too exhausted to fight, and it became so warm to be nested in his arms, you have no choice but to leave your escape attempts for later.

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snarkwriteswrasslin · 4 years

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summer sizzle | cheater, sammy guevara

[ prompts used ]

Cheating + Risky Sex - no condom + Guilt - there is none + Say My Name + From Behind + heavy emphasis on hands / touching - all prompts come from lists that I’ve had bookmarked/saved for a long time now. I need to link to them and i plan to at some point. Scenario and original character used belong to me.

[ warnings ]

18+ only. All children get outside and play or something... other warnings include asshole cheating boyfriend Hager, mutual cheating, mentions and hints of emotional cheating on the OC’s part, unprotected sex, body fluids, Sammy not being a fuck boy for once. alcohol cw also because the oc is a little tipsy in the beginning.

[ tag squad ]

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[ taglist - about - masterlist ]

CHEATER;

I sighed as I glanced down at my cell phone, slipping it off the surface of the bar and into my jacket pocket. My eyes darted around, again finding zero sign of him in the crowd anywhere. The thought of what he was most likely out doing was enough to make me heavily wonder why I bothered sticking around.

It was more than painfully obvious to Hager that I was nothing more than pussy whenever he wanted it. There weren’t any actual feelings between us anymore and whatever remained was just two people beyond terrified of letting go.

,, if he’s out doing it, why not have a few drinks and let your bad side out to play?” the intrusive thought came, even as I tried to brush it out of my head. Bothered by just how hard it was to brush out and ignore this time, I signalled the bartender for another round or three and after downing them all in the span of a minute or two, I wiped my hand over the back of my mouth and turned on my stool, brown eyes darting around the crowded bar.

The bitter laugh came as soon as I heard my cell phone ringing, notifying me to an incoming text. When I pulled out my phone, it was exactly what I figured was going to happen.

Another flimsy excuse from Jake.

→ not gonna make it, darlin.

→ it’s probably gonna be a late one.

I took a deep breath and held my tongue. I think by this point, I’d already decided the fate of our relationship. I was at the point of no return. One hundred percent done. There was literally nothing he could say or do to fix this. Because even if he wasn’t screwing around, which I was at least 85 percent sure that he was -all the signs pointed to it, the fact remained.

He was neglecting me.

And I deserve more, damn it. Better.

Making up my mind, I decided to text back.

← It’s fine, I wasn’t waiting around anyway.

← Went out with some friends who came in tonight. Don’t wait up for me!

And so it began. I called for the bartender and ordered myself a bottle of tequila. Popping the cork, I leaned my back against the edge of the bar and took a big sip, wincing at the burn and just the way it mixed with the lighter shots I’d been doing for about twenty minutes by this point.

I sipped slower after that, eyes roaming the bar as I debated on whether to leave or stick around. I was actually intending to leave when I stumbled right into someone’s chest, tequila sloshing out of the bottle in my hand followed by me, giggling as I tore my eyes off of my phone screen and looked up at the person I’d collided with.

Under the intent and concerned gaze I was getting, I felt… Hot. Bothered. Flustered. I put the cell phone away quickly, the text I’d been writing out to Jake going to a draft. Once I’d done that, I giggled a little. I could feel the alcohol starting to really kick in, making my ears all warm.

I hadn’t really drank like this in a while. Jake tended to get bitchy if I even had one or two without him present. And drinking alone with his friends from work or mine?

Forbidden. Lest I wanted to hear him bitching for hours on end after the fact.

I hadn’t expected to run into anyone else that Jake worked with tonight. Let alone the one guy I found myself sort of staring at quite often. One of his friends, actually.

,,naturally, i thought to myself, it’s the one I’m most drawn to. The one who treats me more like I’m special than my own goddamn man does currently… Is this a sign or something?”

Sammy Guevara towered over me and I gulped as my eyes moved from his down to his lips, where they chose to linger. His brow raised, both knitting together in concern. He tore his eyes away, letting them dart around the crowd.

I could feel the tension in his body in the way his hands splayed over my arms gently, keeping me steady.

“Hager’s not here, mi sol?” Sammy questioned as he glanced around again almost as if he were desperately looking for Jake to pop up at any second. He fixed his gaze back on me, waiting patiently on my answer.

My knees may or may not have turned to jello when he said it. I rolled my eyes and waved a hand dismissively. “Nope.”

“That son of a…” Sammy grumbled to himself, shaking his head. His arm slipped around me and he chuckled quietly when my instinct was to curl myself into his side. The tension was leaving his body a little now, I could feel him relax just a bit. He chuckled again quietly and one look up and into his eyes had me biting my lip. Fidgeting a little bit at his side.

I got the distinct feeling that he knew something I didn’t. Wisely, I chose not to question.

I didn’t want to feel or think. I just wanted to let go.

Be numb.

To finally let free that one last flying fuck I gave about Jake Hager. At the time, it didn’t register with me the magnitude of what I was even doing. But honestly?

Even if it had, I don’t think I’d have chosen to put a stop to it.

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do, mi sol.” Sammy was stopping our walk, pulling me against him because a crowd of people made their way through the doors leading into the bar. His hands caught on either side of my face, caressing. His forehead met mine softly and he took a deep breath. “We’re gonna get out of here. Away from the hotel for a little while. You’re okay with that, right, mi sol?”

I nodded without even stopping to spare it a seconds thought.

Sammy didn’t seem determined to think much either, because the next thing I knew, he was scooping me up into his arms, laughing when the heels I’d been wearing fell to the floor of the hotel lobby with a soft thud. He bent to pick them up and I laid my face against the space between his neck and shoulders. “You good, mi sol?”

“Better now.” I practically purred, letting out a dramatic sigh. The scent of his cologne filled my nose, pushing any thoughts or doubts I might have been trying to have directly to the back of my mind where they were promptly buried as deep as I could shove them.

He chuckled again quietly, muttering something to himself that I didn’t quite catch as he pushed open the doors to the hotel lobby, stepping out into the night air. I shivered lightly and he stopped, letting me down onto my own two feet. He shrugged off the jacket he was wearing, draping it around me.

I hugged it against me and he was picking me up again, my legs circling his waist, my face pressed against his. My tongue slipped between my lips in an attempt to lick my lips and brushed against the outline of his mouth, earning me a quiet and needy whimper from him.

He stopped walking and for a second or two that felt like hours passed, we stared at one another, neither of us saying a word.

One of us had to cave in first and honestly, I couldn’t keep fighting the pull. My hand caught in the hair at the back of his head and I pulled his mouth completely against my own, my body molding against his. His hands squeezed my skin and he growled quietly into the kiss, his tongue sliding between my lips, tangling with mine as he muttered breathlessly, “You have no idea how much I want you all to myself, mi sol.”

“Hm?” I muttered back, the kiss breaking as we both pulled away but only a little. Staring at each other wild-eyed as we worked on catching our breath. We’d made it to his car in the parking lot and he sat me on top of the hood, stepping between my legs, leaning into me as his mouth crashed against mine all over again.

My lips parted willingly and I wrapped my legs around his waist, dragging my fingers through his hair. His hand raised, catching hold of the side of my cheek, caressing softly as his forehead found mine all over again.

“Don’t act like you didn’t know it, mi sol.” Sammy took a few shaky breaths as he mumbled the words against my lips, “I couldn’t really hide it too good. I tried…”

And suddenly, the near fist fight that he and Jake almost had before All Out made perfect sense. As did Jake’s constantly bitching about me and Sammy even talking to each other for longer than a second or two when he wasn’t present.

I rubbed against him a little and his fingertips dug into my bare thighs just a bit more, squeezing as he scooped me closer towards him. My fingertips settled on the front of his tee shirt, clutching light. “Oh. Oh.” I breathed against his mouth right as it started to conquer mine all over again and his hand slipped up the short hem of my favorite little black tank dress, moving slow over the drenched insides of my thighs. He gasped and growled quietly, his eyes fluttering open and closed, meeting my intent gaze when they opened.

It was kind of shocking right now, I had so much I’d been tempted to say to him in the not so distant past and now that we were here… in this moment… it all fleeted straight out of my brain. All I knew was that I wanted to give in. I wanted to see if what I’d been feeling, this pull to him was just me, trying to find any excuse to end things with Jake without having to actually say the words and deal with the fallout.

Or if it was something much more.

Because I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t this undercurrent of tension between Sammy and I that I picked right up on. All the little looks and the inside jokes. The one selfie he dragged me into that really pissed Jake off and set the whole almost fist fight into motion.

Parts of me never really read much into it because I assumed that at his core, Sammy Guevara was a fuck boy.

,, Just like Jake.” my mind taunted, but it didn’t stop me from lightly gripping his chin and guiding his mouth right back against mine. Or ghosting my lips down the side of his neck, right over the throbbing pulse there. Or breathing in his cologne and letting another sigh of content fall from my lips as my head fell back and I gave a soft giggle and took a few long deep breaths.

“I don’t do this a lot.” the words passed my lips in a whimper as Sammy’s mouth dragged down the front of my throat, alternating little soft licks with gentle bites. I placed a hand palm down against his chest and looked him directly in the eye, waiting. He bit his lip and nodded, leaning in, gripping my chin and guiding my face close to his all over again. “You really don’t have a clue about me and how serious I am right now, do ya, mi sol?” he whispered into my lips as his crushed against them and locked around my lower one, sucking until I felt the soft ache.

I thought about it… I hadn’t really seen Sammy show much interest in anyone who hit on him or that I’d normally assume that he’d throw himself at since I came on the road with the guys. And Sammy had ditched a sure thing a few nights ago just to make sure I got back to the hotel okay when Jake pulled this shit for the second time in two nights…

What he was hinting at sank in and I swallowed hard, our eyes locking on each other. The hand that had wandered up the bottom of my dress came to a stop palm down against my soaked panties and he growled and rocked me against him as he gave my cunt a squeeze and his teeth caught on my bottom lip, tugging as his tongue slipped right past.

“You wanna get outta here, mi sol?” he purred as the kiss broke and his forehead met mine yet again. He gazed into my eyes and I found myself getting lost in his. It hit me just how easy that was and with a giggle, I nodded. “Please?”

“I got you, baby girl. I know the perfect place.” the flat of his hand pressed against my throbbing pussy all over again and I moaned against the shell of his ear a mildly suggestive “Take me.” while rocking myself against his hand a time or two.

“Careful what you ask for, mi sol. Because if I take you, I’m not giving you back.” he mumbled against my mouth, a quiet groan coming as his hand bore down on my cunt, squeezing a little harder and he felt how wet I was already. “Fuck.”

“What if I don’t want you to?” the teasing tone to my voice had me thrown for a loop for a second or two, but I was too caught up and didn’t care to stop or censor myself anymore.

Jake made his bed, let him lay in that.

I would be lying in Sammy’s bed tonight.

“Fuck. ah!.” I gasped and bit my lip as I felt Sammy’s fingers slip between soaked fabric and brush right up against my folds, pausing to moan quietly, “ Sammy, feels so good.”

“I’m glad, mi sol.” Sammy’s eyes met mine and a smirk formed as he licked his lips. The look in his eyes was soft. Tender. He pulled me against him and muttered quietly against the shell of my ear, “You deserve to feel good, baby girl.”

I shrugged, looping my arms around his neck and leaning into him, my forehead resting right against a firm chest. He raised the hand on my hip and tucked his fingers beneath my chin, making me meet his gaze. “Jake’s a goddamn idiot. I mean that.”

I bit my lip, nodding. Truth is, I wanted to believe all this but I was also looking at things from the perspective of me, knowing everything I know. And knowing that I’m nothing special when it all boils down. At least not to the one person I should be special to. I haven’t been special to Jake in almost two years and I think I knew it all along but I was just too afraid to turn my back and close the door on the past.

,, you’re still too good for settling with Jake fucking Hager and the shit way he treats you.” the thought crept into my mind, lingering. Making what was going on between Sammy and I even more tempting than it already was, as if I needed a reason or an excuse.

“True.” I sighed, blowing at a strand of hair as it fell into my eyes. Sammy’s hand raised, brushing the strands out of my eyes to tuck behind my ear and he cupped my cheek, pulling my mouth against his all over again. Our bodies brushing, rubbing, the feel of muscle against my softness was almost overload for me.

“Lemme get you out of here, mi sol.” His breath was warm against my ear as he muttered the words, his lips latching onto my neck as they danced down the side of it. He was trying to be careful, trying not to leave marks but honestly, I’d already made up my mind.

I wasn’t hiding this from Jake.

I wanted the outcome, the fallout, the shouting match and finally, the end of things between us. I couldn’t take the way things were anymore.

He unlocked the car and scooped me off the hood, putting me into the passenger seat. As he went to shut the door, I gripped his shirt and pulled him in for another kiss. Long fingers danced right up the insides of my thighs all over again and his teeth tugged at my lip, needier as he laughed quietly. “Baby girl… I have to drive. But it’s not really far, okay?”

I nodded, swallowing hard as the kiss broke and pouting a little as his hand pulled out from between my thighs and he hurried around to the driver side of his car. I squirmed in the seat. I don’t know why I thought it was a good idea, but I pulled out my cell phone. I guess parts of me were just… Hoping for a sign either way. Because deep down, I knew what I was about to do didn’t make me any better than Jake.

As I checked my text messages prior to powering my phone down for the night, I got my sign in the lack of an answer and the fact that his last check in somewhere showed that he was actually up in our hotel room. And from the looks of it, he wasn’t alone, either.

Sammy cleared his throat and reached over the console, prying the phone from my hands. When he saw what Jake had just posted, he dragged a hand over the back of his head, going quiet on me for a few minutes.

“Ya know, it really pisses me off. The fact that he’s got you… and pulls this shit.” his jaw set firm and I sighed, reaching for my phone back.

“It’s not a big deal.” I tried to pretend it didn’t bother me even though every part of me was seething. If I hadn’t been 100 percent sure I was going through with tonight and telling Jake about it immediately after the fact, I was now.

It was beyond past time for him to hurt like I hurt. To realize that I pushed everything about myself he wanted changed down and buried it for him but that was not happening anymore.

“He treats you like shit, mi sol. Fuck yes, it’s a big deal. It’s a huge deal.” Sammy was getting fired up. I bit my lip, going quiet. I’d been through enough arguments with Jake. I was half afraid that I’d end up in one with Sammy, but then it hit me.

He was angry on my behalf. Not at me like Jake usually was. There was a difference. I just hadn’t been with anybody else in so long that I’d grown used to it. “What if we..” he trailed off, chuckling to himself. This little smirk that I’ve noticed he tends to get when he’s angry and plotting revenge.

His hand caressed my thigh as we switched from one lane to another and merged with traffic. The lights of town were getting further behind us and more than anything, I was curious.

“No, what. What were you going to say, Sammy?”

“It’s dumb… Unless.” Sammy got that gleam in his eye as he glanced over when we came to a stop at a red light. His hand was squeezing my thigh gently and I bit my lip, squirming as I got even wetter.

“Yeah?” I breathed out the word, my breath catching in my throat as I waited on him to answer.

“We make a post of our own. I mean, if he’s going to put it all out there like he did… Seems fair, yeah?” his thumb rolled over my skin and I whimpered a little, thinking it over. Not that I needed too much encouragement. Just knowing that he had the audacity to check in while he was off doing whomever… And all the other things he’s done to me the past two years.

I couldn’t sit on the hurt and the resentment anymore. And honestly, I wanted all this over with. I didn’t want to have to bother hiding anything from him, either. Because that’s not the kind of person I was.

He must have picked up on my internal struggle because he pulled into a parking lot and killed the engine to the sports car. He was leaning across the console, fingertips caressing my chin, pulling my mouth against his greedily. “We don’t have to if it’s upsetting. I just know that I’m doing somethin’ about the way he’s been treating you. Either way. He is not getting away with it, mi sol. I promise you that.”

“Oh, I want to.” I answered quietly, taking a deep breath, letting my tongue trail the outline of his lips. “Le’s do this.”

That smirk grew just a little and he pulled me partially over the console, his mouth crashing against mine hungrily as his hand roamed back up the bottom of my dress and settled palm flat against my dripping cunt, rubbing and squeezing. His teeth caught my lips, tugging until I could feel them beginning to ache. The heavy breathing and soft panting lingered in the air until it was swallowed by deeper hungry kisses and his hand rubbed against my aching cunt lazily all while he muttered softly spoken words of reassurance against my lips. Telling me that this didn’t have to go far at all and that all I had to do was tell him to stop. All I had to do was even hint that I changed my mind.

“Sammy.” I pulled back, taking a few shaky breaths as I licked swollen lips and rocked myself against his hand. I reached over the console, my hand ghosting over the way his cock strained and twitched at a pair of dark blue jeans.

“Yeah, mi sol?” his voice was huskier and he licked his lips as he met my gaze. As my hand worked over the way he strained at his jeans, his breath caught in his throat and he bit his lip, bucking himself up and against my hand, a quiet growl shattering the air between us.

“I don’t want to stop. I want you. And I wanna put all of this behind me. I don’t wanna think about anything but tonight.” I was leaning in all over again, clumsily trying to cross the barrier of the console between us to sit in his lap. The top of my head whacked the ceiling of the small car and I winced. Sammy winced too, catching hold of my face and pulling my head down, burying his lips and nose in the crown of my hair as he chuckled softly. “You’re okay, right?”

“I’m fine. I barely made contact.” I looked up at him, taking a deep breath, licking my lips and swallowing hard when I saw the way lust burned at deep brown eyes. His hands were resting at either side of my hips now, rocking me back and forth over his lap. He took a few shaky breaths and one more time, he repeated what he’d been asking me for the better part of twenty minutes now.

“You’re sure… about this.. With us.” the question came accompanied by urgent and frantic touching, kissing me until I felt myself starting to get dizzy and almost couldn’t think straight.

“Sammy, I can’t fight this anymore, okay? Please don’t make me. I just want you.”

He smirked even more, gripping hold of my chin with his fingers, tugging my mouth back against his.

He bucked into me from below, practically growing against the deepening kisses, as he breathed against my lips, “I don’t think we’re gonna make it to where I was taking you, mi sol. Want you so fuckin bad right now.” while bucking against me over and over.

I rocked myself right back against him and muttered softly as my lips danced down the side of his neck, I lowered my hand between us, slipping it beneath the hem of his shirt, fingertips dancing a line over his abdomen, just above the waistband of his jeans. I whimpered, almost needy.

Okay, not almost. Beyond needy.

I hadn’t been touched or kissed - even held, like he was touching and kissing and holding me right now in so long that it was a rush. Too much and somehow, not enough at the same time. My fingers caught in the hem of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head, letting it settle on the backseat. His mouth dove down, connecting with my neck, his teeth tugging at skin, determined to leave marks all over me.

“What do you say we see Hager’s check in with the side chick and raise him?” Sammy muttered the question lazily against the shell of my ear and I bucked myself against his lap, nearly hitting the steering wheel with my back when he leaned into me, conquering my mouth with another round of needy and biting breathless kisses.

One hand went up the bottom of my dress, shoving it up higher over my thighs and his other hand reached out, fumbling for his cell phone sitting in the cupholder while deepening the kiss and bucking himself into me from below over and over again, his breath coming in soft gasps on the heels of quiet growls that were swallowed up by our desperately clashing mouths.

We pulled away to breathe and Sammy raised the back camera of the phone, moving it until he found an angle that got us both in the picture clearly and hid the fact that by now, my dress was almost up to my hips. I raised a hand, dragging his mouth back against my own and the brightness of the flash filled the semi darkened interior of the small car, making us bump faces as the kiss broke and we pulled away, rubbing our eyes.

I watched while pressed against him as he set the photo up to post on his most active platform and just before he hit post, I grabbed the phone from him. He bit his lip, eyeing me anxiously. “You’re changing your mind, mi sol?”

“On the contrary. You can’t just post this with no context.” I may or may not have been fully caught up in the grips of everything I’d realized thus far. I may or may not have taken his phone and added the caption “When she’s lonely, she comes to me.” beneath the photo.

Because why not rub salt in an already open wound and get it over and done with?

I handed it back and Sammy pulled me into a laughing and tender kiss as he muttered lazily into it, “Mi sol, you’re evil. It’s kind of fucking hot.”

I shrugged and rested a hand at the back of his neck, rocking myself back and forth over the bulge strained at his jeans. His hands slipped up my thighs, fingers hooking beneath the thin strap of my underwear. The silent tear had me whimpering and Sammy licked his lips as he tossed them into the backseat of the car with his shirt. My fingers caught in the button of his jeans and I tugged button free eagerly.

There was no turning back for me now.

I wouldn’t, even if there were. I was done with only being worth 12 percent of someone’s attention. I was done fighting the growing pull I’d been feeling towards Sammy since we met.

Jake Hager?

I didn’t fucking know him anymore.

Next came the zipper to Sammy’s jeans and I teased a little, fingertips lingering on the pull for a second or two. Just long enough for Sammy to groan and give me that pleading look. His hand moved up the inside of my thigh, fingers working me open and a quiet growl shattering the heaviness of anticipation in the air as soon as he worked two fingers into my cunt and realized exactly how wet I already was. “Fuck. Mi sol. Fuck.” he drawled in ragged breaths, squirming out of his jeans and boxers. They settled at his ankles and he fucked into me deeper with his fingers. My head fell back and I rocked against his fingers as fast as I could, desperate for the stop and start, the will they or won’t they that had been heavy around us for so long now to just be over. For Sammy to take me. To make me forget all of it, put it all out of my mind like a bad memory.

Even if only for tonight.

His thumb settled against my clit, pressing down and rubbing and I whimpered, my head falling back as my eyes fluttered. His fingers fucked into me faster, the slippery wet sounds with each thrust made into my cunt making me moan for him just a little louder, the sound echoing through the inside of the car.

“I bet you taste so sweet, mi sol. And next time, baby girl… I’m going to find out.” his tone was almost apologetic as he buried his mouth on a patch of skin just above the neckline of the little dress I was wearing, his teeth digging against my skin, leaving probably the biggest mark behind yet. Just hearing him hint at a next time had my heart fluttering a little.

My orgasm was building faster. The throbbing ache in my pussy was doubling each second and I shattered the quiet sounds of the creaking seat and our heavy breathing and heated kisses when I moaned his name out loud, unable to keep myself from it. This bought a smirk to his mouth.

“Say my name, mi sol. Say it as loud as you want.” it only seemed to encourage him, his fingers twisting and scissoring, thrusting deeper and deeper into my cunt, a growl every single time he felt my insides clench tighter around them. “Fuck.” he bucked himself against me, his cock grazing against my ass and making me whimper and beg.

“Sammy, please.” I whined, rocking myself against his fingers faster, trying to get any form of friction or release I could. I wanted him buried inside me. Now.

“Please what, mi sol?” his fingers slipped out of my cunt and his hand raised, those two sticky wet fingers disappearing between his lips as he groaned and bucked himself against me all over again, waiting on an answer. I whimpered as I watched his fingers slip into his mouth and heard the lewd and quiet groan that came next. Rocking my throbbing cunt against his bare cock, I leaned in, muttering against the shell of his ear quietly, “I want you to fuck me. Make me forget it all.”

He chuckled and his hands slipped down my body, settling on my hips. He raised me up and lowered me down onto his cock, burying himself balls deep inside me. I whimpered and nipped at his neck and shoulder. He reached down, letting the seat back, pushing it further away from the steering wheel.

The way he stretched and filled me was enough to make me gasp and moan, bouncing up and down on his cock as soon as he got the seat settled back. His hands went straight to my tits, gripping and squeezing, pumping into me from below as he groaned and pleaded with me to go faster when I slowed down a little and leaned in, capturing his mouth in a slow and gentle kiss, mostly just to keep myself from going over the edge like I wanted to more than anything.

His hands moved over my body, settling on my ass and he started to slam me up and down on his cock, leaning up, the new angle causing him to strike against my spot and sending a shiver racing through my body. His fingers dug into both sides of my ass and he sank his teeth into the top of my breast as he rose to sit slightly. Our noses bumped and we both laughed. His mouth fixed against mine, teeth catching on my bottom lip and tugging as he muttered a calm “Mental note. Next time ask for the Range Rover. More room.” and made me giggle into the kiss.

“I haven’t fucked in a car in so long I forgot just how complicated it is.” I breathed into his lips as they worked against mine, latching and sucking until I could feel my lips swelling on impact.

One of his hands left my ass and rose to my hair, pulling it free from the way I’d had it fixed earlier, his hand catching in the back of it, tugging my mouth into his even deeper as he continued to pump me up and down on his cock, harder and deeper. Our bodies smacked together frantically, my hips stammering as I felt my orgasm threatening to shatter through and take control.

“It’s kind of hot that at any second, anybody could catch us.” he mused against the shell of my ear as he tugged at my earlobe with his teeth. My body tensed and I moaned louder and louder with each frantic and deep dive into my pussy he made.

“Fuck, mi sol, you’re so fuckin wet, I..” he groaned against my neck as his mouth ghosted over it, “I can hardly stay in. Bet he never made you this wet, huh?”

“Not even close, actually.” I was surprised at myself for admitting it out loud, but now that I had, it really did paint a picture of just how much in my relationship with Jake had been seriously lacking.

“I’m so close. So fucking close.” Sammy grunted against my skin as his thrusts got more erratic and he tried to slow down. I rocked my hips against his thrusts, trying desperately to meet them.

My orgasm shattered through and when he tried to slow down even more, I gripped his chin and pulled his mouth against mine, my tongue slipping past his lips to caress his tongue as I muttered “Don’t stop. Don’t you dare.”

“Wanna feel you, mi sol. C’mon. Give me all of it.” Sammy groaned into the kiss as my pussy vised his cock and he started to pump me up and down on his thick cock with more urgency, the kiss breaking so that he could trail little kisses and lazy kitten licks and love bites against my neck and the tops of my breasts. Places I couldn’t cover.

Not that I was going to bother trying.

My juices soaked his cock and he groaned, his head falling back as his breath caught in his throat. I could feel his cock throbbing and it only made me bounce on his cock faster, desperate to feel him filling me up.

“Sammy, fuck.. C’mon.” I begged and it only made him fuck into me deeper and slower, fucking me through the remainder of my own orgasm and straight into his own, his cock throbbing and emptying inside as my nails dug at his shoulder and into his chest and I left a mark of my own on the side of his neck.

I went limp against him, catching my breath as he continued to slowly fuck into me from below until he just couldn’t anymore and then he was pulling me close, pulling me into a lazy and gentle kiss that I returned happily.

“We should probably get outta here.” he muttered after a few minutes of cuddling me against him and reluctantly, I agreed, reaching into the backseat to grab his tee shirt.

← If you’re with Guevara tonight don’t bother coming back to our room.

← I fucking knew something was going on between you.

← Goddamn it, Ariel, answer the phone. Now!

← I know I haven’t been the best lately, darlin….

← and that girl you saw earlier didn’t mean anything, I swear.

I instantly regretted the decision to power on my phone. Scowling, I rolled over in Sammy’s bed and slipped my legs between his. He reached out, prying the phone from my hands as he pressed a lazy and yawn-filled kiss against my nose. He sat up and I sat up, pressing myself against his back to peer over his shoulder. I watched as he took over and responded to Jake’s frantic and angry texts from the night before.

→ hey, it’s me, ya boy.

→ fuck off. Ariel’s with me, man. As in, with me.

→ ain’t been the best? Are you hearin yourself, you cornbread head ass?

→ i tried to keep my feelings out of this, man. But I’m not anymore.

→ none of them ever mean anything to you Jake. But as far as Ariel is concerned, that’s over.

→ gonna say it louder for you because I know how ignorant you are. She’s mine now.

After he finished, he tossed the phone at the bed and settled back down into it, pulling me partially on top of him as he wrapped his arms back around me.

“You’re not worried about what’s going to happen?” I asked the question, feeling myself tense up because I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel if I didn’t like his answer.

“Honestly, no. Hager’s a bitch. And when I want something, I tend to fight for it, mi sol.” he raised a hand to smooth hair back behind my ear and rose up slightly, his mouth meeting mine again.

I deepened the kiss and yawned lazily, making him chuckle. “I meant everything I said to you last night and to him in the texts just now, okay? Things are gonna be different.”

“I hope so.”

#sammy guevara #sammy guevara fanfiction #sammy guevara one shot #sammy guevara oneshot #sammy guevara imagaines #// 18+ only #// cheating cw #// body fluids cw #// unprotected s*x cw #// alcohol cw #// don't know how I feel about this one tbh #// i feel like i got too wordy and stretched it out way too long #// idk.#my fics; sammy guevara #my writing; sammy guevara #my fanfiction; sammy guevara

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maddiethebull · 5 years

Note

Hello there! Can I request #19 from the prompt list with Leviathan? Its possible to be NSFW? Pretty please 💕

18+ Content

Thank you for making a request! also lowkey here, I’ve been dying for someone to leave an ask about levi lmaooo

Leviathan (Obey Me!) - Prompt # 19 - “You’ve changed my entire world.” - NSFW version

You were drying your hair after taking a shower when the door swung open.

“Hey, normie, I need to ask you something…” his voice trailed off.

Levi stood there, his eyes open wide, and looking extremely panicked, he immediately slammed the door shut without a word. Why did he leave so abruptly, you ask? You were buck fuckin naked.

Levi still had the same shocked expression as he stood outside your room. He was bright red, blushing like a damn spring tomato. In a low whisper, all Levi could get out was, “fuckerino,” and he ran back to his room to take care of a certain problem in his trousers that seeing you naked had catalyzed.

Meanwhile, you were standing there frozen, you simply kept staring at the door. After a moment, you put down the hairdryer and began freaking out. Out of the sheer embarrassment, you covered your bright red face with your hands, thought seriously about starting anew as a hermit living in a cave, and mumbled your embarrassed thoughts to yourself.

After a bit, you finally calmed yourself down and realized the hermit life was not for you. You finished your hair, got dressed and decided to go to Levi’s room. You were only going to go and ask what he wanted to talk about earlier, after all, you didn’t want the awkwardness to last between you and the brother who you were closest to and it might’ve been best to just put this happening past you.

You walked up to his room and put your hand on the door knob. You immediately pulled your hand back and covered your face, trying to psych yourself up to see him after what happened. You’d imagined Levi seeing you naked before, we all have thoughts like that about the people we’re attracted too, and, safe to say, it never went down like that. The intrusive thoughts came rushing back, ‘what if he didn’t like what he saw? Why didn’t you lock your door, stupid!! Ungh this feels so weird.’ You sighed, trying to somehow exhale your problems, and removed your hands from your face. Thoughts crept up from the depths of your brain, a scenario where he did like what he saw and it only made your situation worse. You were so nervous to open the door, but you came to a point, ‘it doesn’t matter, MC, if he saw and didn’t like then things are fine, if he saw and liked, I mean, that’s what you want, right?’ The feeling of needing to scream into the void swaggered off and you waggled your hands to release tension and with any confidence you had left, you made your decision. You knew that if you hesitated, you would be there all day, so you swung the door open with more power than needed and guess what you saw.

It was Levi, on his bed, on his back, with his dick out, practicing a self care of sorts. He immediately shrieked like a little girl and flopped around like a fish out of water as he desperately tried to cover his genitals. Him yelling made you yell and, mirroring the situation earlier, you slammed that door closed. You nearly crumbled to dust from the embarrassment.

“I-I’m sorry, MC!” Levi said as he frantically put his pants back on. Talking to himself, saying, “No NO NO nO, idiot, why didn’t you lock the door?” “God, I probably look like a perv now, of course I look like a perv now, I was just Stroking the Sausage to MC for fucks sake!” He rustled his hands through his hair, not sure if he even wanted to check that you were outside. Then your voice made its way through the door,

“I-I’m sorry Levi, I- I didn’t see anything!” Even though you saw e v e r y t h i n g. Worse, you liked it, you really, really liked it.

You heard some faint swearing and Levi continuing to talk to himself until the door knob clicked and through a thin crack, Levi spoke,

“S-so, um, what- what, uh, did you n-need, MC?”

“I just wanted to see why you came into my room earlier.”

The eye contact was scarce, the both of you being shy people to begin with made it even worse as you both just looked at the floor.

Without a response, you questioned him further, “you said you wanted to ask me something?”

“Oh, yeah… I- well, I was gonna ask if you wanted to play this new game I got and then I- uh, well, you know.” His hands were tousling with his hair, he felt so awkward. He was nervous for the same reason as you, he wanted you to have liked what you saw. With his low self esteem, though, it seemed an impossible fantasy to him.

“I-its okay, really.”

“Neato.”

Right after Levi said that, he mentally punched himself in the face because he knew how lame that response was.

“S-so did you wanna play that game?” you asked. He let you in (after he cleaned up a bit wink wink) and he opened the package that held the game in it. He fumbled with opening it so you offered your help, but him being the tsundere he is, declined. He sat down on the bed and put the box on the floor in frustration.

“Listen, MC, I’m really sorry about what happened earlier. I really don’t want things to be awkward between us, I mean, you’re like my second Henry the second.”

“I don’t want things to be weird either,” you said, “and you’re my best friend too.”

A rosy hue crept up to his cheeks.

He eventually said,

“You know, even though y-you’re a normie and all…” as he looked to the ground, “you’ve changed my entire world.”

He’d never met anyone like you before, he never met anyone he cared about so much, anyone who could compare to just how cool he thought you were. You didn’t make fun of him for liking anime and manga, you were even interested in it yourself. You were so kind and caring and you reminded him to sleep and drink water, he’d never had that before, he’d never had someone who he loved in a romantic way (other than ruri-chan). He’d always been a shut-in, but now, he had someone to be a shut-in with, and it meant everything to him. He gave you a pensive, gentle look. He looked right into your eyes, the eyes he adored even more than any rare figurine he could get his hands on.

He continued, “so like, thank you, MC.”

Filled with emotion, you leaned close, breaking an invisible barrier you’d built in your mind, and he followed. Hesitantly, he closed the gap between you and him. His soft lips kissed you gently, but you felt an underlying hunger in the way his hands moved up and down your waist. You pulled from the kiss and whispered in his ear, too shy to say it any louder,

“D-do you want to, um, keep going? Like this, I mean?” The hand you had on his shoulder squeezed and Levi felt a surge of pleasure all throughout his body. The mood changed from sweet to hot and ready with that short question.

He let out a sharp exhale, and in a breathy whisper he said, “p-please.”

You brought your lips back to his and he began getting fidgety with his cock twitching in his pants. His hands caressed your body, over your chest, down to your hips. He moved his hand up to your neck, pulling you in so he could kiss you as intensely as he’d always wanted. You swallowed the soft moans escaping from his lips as you let out your own. The countless times he’d imagined this moment and its continuation made him incredibly aroused. Slowly but surely, he got less nervous, and he wanted more of you. One of his hands made itself known on the inside of your upper thigh. You shivered, and he looked to you, wanting to know if this was really what you wanted. You nodded and his hand crept up, massaging your inner thigh before reaching your undies. His breath was hitching as he rubbed your sex. You moaned in little whimpers, driving him crazy with lust. He pulled you in for a kiss as he kept rubbing you. You pushed his hand away and before he could ask why, you began reaching for his pants. He bit his lip as you unbuckled his belt. After you took his belt off, he frantically removed his trousers and got back on the bed. You removed your pants as well and with an impish glance, you sat on his lap and began grinding your sex into his hard on. The grip he had on your thighs tightened.

“T-that feels really good,” he said as his cock twitched beneath you. He nuzzled his head into your shoulder as moans escaped his lips. He began to kiss your neck, sending a buzz of pleasure throughout you. Your hands went up and down his arms, they were slim, but toned while he put his hand on your hips, rocking you back and forth on top of him. He kissed you haphazardly, he was desperate for more of this feeling, desperate for more of you. At his limit, he pushed you down onto the bed. He took the sight of you in, you were a blushing, panting, horny mess. He gulped and removed his underwear. Before gearing up to have sex with you, he looked at you nervously and said,

“I’ve never done this before, so, I’m sorry if I- if I don’t make you feel g-good too.”

You brought his face to yours, giving him a peck on the lips and reassuring him by saying,

“It’s okay, it’s my first time too, actually.”

You gave him a sweet smile and he mirrored it while saying,

“I’m happy th-that I get to be your first and that you get to be mine.”

He lined his cock up with your entrance and rubbed the head on it. He was whimpering, he couldn’t believe how good it felt just to do that. He slowly pushed himself into you, inch by inch, making you squirm and moan. He was fully inside of you and began thrusting, with a grunt, he collapsed onto you. He began moving faster, hitting your most sensitive spots as you ran your hands through his hair. He was moaning and grunting into your shoulder. You tightened around his cock each time his length made it all the way in. He pulled your face to his, sloppily making out with you. He began to pick up his pace, thrusting harder into you and it all felt too good for the both of you. He tried not to cum so fast, but this was his first time, and you just felt too good to him. He was gasping and grunting. His one hand was on your hips, the other gripping the headboard of the bed so hard that his knuckles were turning white. The way he was moving inside of you quickly made you reach climax, you dug your nails into his back and moaned,

“L-Levi!”

He was shaking in ecstacy as he grunted out, “fuck oh fuck! MC, I love you!”

With a final thrust, he reached his limit and came inside of you. His breath was shaky as he looked down at you,

“You’re so beautiful.”

You were silent for a little bit, which worried him, but you broke the silence, saying,

“Did you mean it?”

He blushed and tried to hide it with his arm, “y-yeah. I think you’re beautiful, so what?”

“No,” you said as you looked into his eyes, “did you mean it when you said you loved me?”

He started blushing harder and stuttering out nonsense, he did mean it, but he didn’t even realize he said that out loud! He’d thought it so many times that it just felt natural to say it to you. He cleared his throat and said,

“Yes. I meant it. N-normie.”

You giggled, you were elated to know he felt the same way from his actions and his words. You snuggled up to him and with your head on his chest, hearing his heartbeat, you said,

“I love you too. Otaku boi.”

In his embrace, you laid there, happy that he accidentally walked in on you and you on him because it led to this endearing moment with the demon you’d fallen in love with.

“Do you wanna play that game?” he asked.

You began laughing, “Of course I wanna play.”

—————————————————————————————————-

Hope you enjoyed!

My prompt requests are open, so feel free to leave an ask

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one-irrelevant-ghost · 6 years

Text

Nines had been dying when Gavin kissed him. He wasn't dying anymore, but the kiss was all over the news.

Barely perched on the edge of the floral-patterned chair, every muscle twitching with anxious energy, Gavin almost didn't notice the TV posted on the wall directly in front of him. He was staring right at it, but his mind was occupied with being absolutely terrified by what was happening to his partner at that very moment. An android doctor--or mechanic, technician, whatever the fuck he was--had explained that Nines had stabilized the moment they jacked him in manually, but that there were still a lot of things that could go wrong.

"Malfunction" was the exact word that the android used, and the small amount of relief that had begun to loosen the knots in his stomach was replaced by a new wave of dread.

"What sort of 'malfunctions?'" Gavin demanded too harshly, but the doctor's expression only softened in response.

"It's unlikely that he'll shut down now, but...the most common side effect of this level of trauma is memory bank corruption."

The detective had leapt to his feet the moment the doctor approached him, but now his legs felt too unsteady to hold him up anymore. He sank back into the chair, trying not to imagine what his life would be like if Nines couldn't remember him. If was a selfish reaction, but Gavin had never pretended to be anything other than a self-absorbed prick. Nines was his best friend. Not his only friend, sure, but Nines had seen Gavin at his most vulnerable, most volatile, had held up under the brunt of Gavin's aggression and refused to turn away. The detective was an unstoppable force, the android an immovable object; the result was a perfect balance, a sort of stability in their relationship that Gavin had never experienced before. Nines had become a permanent fixture in Gavin's life the past few months. It felt...Nines felt comfortable. Safe, even. There had never been anyone in Gavin's life who made him feel safe before.

To lose that... Gavin felt the jagged pounding of his heart shredding his chest from the inside.

"No! No, Nines you bastard," Gavin heard the low sound of his own voice, familiarly strange, and it pierced through his painful haze all at once. His gaze snapped to the TV screen, Channel 16 News replaying the events of that morning. Gavin saw himself leaning over the battered body of his partner, Nines' upper body cradled in his arms as the blood he was rapidly losing stained them both dark blue. "Nines don't you fucking dare die right now!" Gavin was surprised at how clearly the reporters had captured the scene, too cold with shock to be properly angry at the intrusion on an intimate, terror-soaked moment.

Nines' response was robotically garbled, but it was easy for Gavin to recognize the dry chuckle that was just as clear in his own memory as on the screen. A long, pale hand covered Gavin's rougher, darker hand where it had rested over the hole that exposed Nines' thirium pump. The blue blood had already evaporated in the time he had been sitting in the waiting room, but it seemed as though Gavin could still feel the thirium dried on his palms no matter how many times he scrubbed his hands in the clinic's bathroom. "Don't worry, Gav. I'm too stubborn to die when you still owe me twenty dollars."

Humor, even as Nines' voice cracked with static and slowed unnaturally as his processors shut themselves down one by one. An attempt to comfort Gavin, even though Nines was the one dying. The shattered parts of Gavin's heart gave a pathetic squeeze, just as it had done in the moment. His own image on the news feed leaned in, pressed his own bloodied lips to the android's blue-coated ones. The motion was too rough, desperate. Nines had clung to him anyway, trying to pull Gavin back even as the android EMTs lifted him onto a stretcher. The news cut away from the video, and Gavin tuned out Joss Douglas's pseudo-sincere voice as he described what a touching fucking scene it was. The detective felt himself turning red as the gazes of the other people in the waiting room flicked to him. Most were android, but there were at least two other humans there. It was getting harder to tell the difference not that the majority of androids had taken to changing their appearances and tearing off their LEDs. Every person in the waiting room looked more or less how Gavin felt, faces all tight with worry and fear darkening every set of eyes that the worst might happen. Every so often a doctor would pull someone aside, the conversation followed by either muscle-melting relief or heart-wrenching sobs. Gavin really wished they would let him see Nines now that the android was stable, but apparently the repairs were delicate and they didn't want to introduce human error to the operating room. Not that the doctor had used so many words in his explanation.

Leaning back in his chair, Gavin closed his eyes and focused on all the aches and pains in his own body to distract from the image of a bullet-riddled Nines, the sight of his blue heart pounding through the hole caved into the plastic of his chest. Goddamn it, the moment Nines was repaired enough to listen, Gavin was going to tear him apart again. Not that it would matter; Gavin had told the plastic prick a thousand times that he didn't need anyone to take blows for him, and still Nines insisted on putting himself between Gavin and harm. In the not-too-distant past, before the revolution and before he had been forced into partnering with Nines, the idea of an android getting hurt on his behalf was completely un-phasing. They weren't alive and plastic couldn't feel pain, machines couldn't fear death. But deviants could. Nines could.

And still Nines would rather risk his own life to save Gavin's. Had almost died for Gavin. Gavin wasn't worth that.

The smell of coffee right under his nose cut through his downward spiral, and Gavin opened his eyes. His heart gave a painfully hopeful lurch. Nines. Not Nines. Connor. Gavin couldn't have kept the disappointment off his face even if he had tried to--which he didn't. Connor didn't seem offended, unsurprisingly; he had proven resilient to Gavin's attempts at getting him worked up even after becoming deviant. It had offended Gavin for a while, wounded his pride that the android thought him so harmless that it wasn't worth getting riled up, but eventually he realized that that was just Connor's personality. Nines took no shit, all sharp tongued and quiet rage, but Connor simply bore it all with unnatural grace and a dogged insistence on taking the high road.

The steaming cup of coffee smelled so good and Gavin felt so bad that he couldn't even muster up a sarcastic greeting. He just took the cup with a quiet nod and felt almost glad when Connor took the seat next to him. Gavin hadn't realized how alone he felt until that moment. Lieutenant Anderson had been standing just behind Connor, but now he offered Gavin a tight, understanding nod.

"How's he doing?" Hank asked, gruff voice softer than how he usually spoke to Gavin. Of course, conversations between the detectives tended to stray along the line of argument more often than not, what with Hank being a crotchety old bastard with no tolerance for bullshit and Gavin intentionally being a complete and utter asshole at any given time. Still, Gavin was a long way from genuinely hating the man, and for the moment he even went so far as to appreciate the lieutenant's presence. Maybe it was just that Hank would understand what Gavin was going through even if no one else did; he was every bit as close to Connor as Gavin was to Nines, and had probably been in this same position at least once.

"The guy said he was stable but still getting fixed up," Gavin hesitated, cupping both hands around the warm cardboard cup and appreciating the warmth after hours spent in the cold waiting room, "Also said Nines might have…I don't know, complications. Memory loss, if anything."

Connor made a low hum at Gavin's side, something the detective had never heard from him before. "If his memory banks were to be corrupted," Connor offered, his tone gentler than Gavin could handle, "I know that he keeps a back-up drive. He gave me access to it for scenarios precisely like this, as I've given him access to mine. Simply put, detective, if his memory is damaged, I can fix it. He won't forget you."

Gavin absolutely fucking refused to cry, but at that moment his body didn't seem too keen on obeying him. His eyes stung and vision blurred, and it took him a solid few seconds of carefully blinking the tears away before he got himself under control enough to respond to that.

"Thanks," he slightly more than whispered, glad that his voice didn't break in addition to the low, emotional tone he couldn't keep out of his words. Thanks for…the reassurance? Being trusted enough to have a back-up of Nines memories? For comforting him when Gavin had done nothing ever to deserve the kindness? The answer was all three, and although Gavin knew that Connor was there for Nines and not himself, he also couldn't help the small warmth that touched him at the android's enduring niceness, the feeling every bit as comforting as the warmth still spreading through his hands from the coffee that Connor had brought for him. Yeah, the android was too good, annoyed the hell out of Gavin, but at the end of the day… Nines had been a blessing in disguise--provide he didn't go fucking Gavin up by dying--and Connor wasn't really unbearable either.

Gavin normally would have retched at the thought, but he was feeling lower than he had been in a while and fuck it if Connor hadn't gone and cheered him up, just enough so that he didn't feel like he was the one dying; he was going to have to be nicer to the plastic puppy. Not friendly, not actually polite, but… well, at the very least he could stop trying to get a rise out of Connor every damn day. Wasn't much, but he was pretty certain the android would understand the importance; would probably read too far into it too, but that was neither here nor there.

Hank took a seat on the other side of Connor. Gavin didn't mind; he would've hated feeling pinned in had the lieutenant sat in the other empty chair to his left. They wasn't much conversation after that, although Hank would occasionally try and make small talk. Too tired to be annoyed, Gavin would give his monotonous replies and let the situation fizzle into silence again. Connor, for his part, didn't say anything else for nearly an hour, and Gavin watched him roll a quarter through his lithe fingers out the corner of his eyes.

"So are all you guys so fucking twitchy?" He asked Connor finally, turning to eye the coin meaningfully. The question came out tinted in irritation that Gavin didn't actually feel. He was worried, above all else, despite Connor's previous reassurance. What's taking them so long? Why hasn't anyone come to tell us how Nines is doing? How much longer will it be? Not having any answers was going to drive Gavin crazy. He didn't know how to deal with anxious, and so he came across angry instead. Gavin consciously stopped drumming his fingers against the side of his leg, realizing the irony of it. "I mean," he reworded it carefully, "do all androids fidget so much, or is it just you and Nines?"

Connor paused, the coin stilling between his middle and index finger momentarily. "The need for constant stimulation seems limited to late-model RK series androids." Gavin noticed Hank nudge the android gently with his elbow, and it was Connor's turn to rephrase himself.

"I mean, yes. While I wasn't aware that Nines also did…this?" He twirled the coin through his fingers again as if in demonstration, "We are the only androids that I know of who need to keep ourselves…occupied."

"How come?" Gavin pried. He secretly ignored the smug feeling that he had known something about Nines that Connor didn't. The two could physically link their minds and memories, after all. The detective didn't know enough about android physiology to know what exactly that entailed, but he figured it left little room for secrets.

"Cyberlife programmed us to not be…idle, I think is the best word for it. We feel compelled to always be doing something, unless we're put in stasis." There was an edge to Connor's tone that Gavin was unprepared for. He didn't think it was resentment, exactly, but closer to bitterness than he had ever heard the android get. In hindsight, it wasn't that surprising; Cyberlife was a sensitive topic for Nines as well. Nines would object to Gavin using the word "sensitive" to describe anything about him, but the detective had learned to read his micro-expressions, could recognize the pain that flashed behind his machine grey eyes and the downward twitch at the corner of his perfect mouth. Normal androids seemed to have no problem moving past their programming, as if being alive was perfectly natural to them--as natural as it could for beings that were literally all synthetic-- but Nines and Connor weren't normal androids. Prototypes, both of them, made to act more human but never truly be it; Gavin thought it was both ironic and cruel that the RKs had always been more than other androids but now seemed almost less. The programming that had made them both so special now just made it harder for them to be them. If someone had told him at the beginning that there'd be a time when he would feel sorry for Connor, he would've laughed and said it was because the android was a sorry plastic bitch anyway.

Then again, if that same someone had also told him that he'd end up being comforted by that sorry plastic bitch while he waited in an android-centric clinic, worried for news on his own plastic partner… Gavin always had a pretty explosive temper, and that someone would've found themselves fucked right up for the insinuation. For Gavin to have even entertained the idea of caring about a lifeless toy would have been unthinkable. Nines had changed that. Had changed him.

God fucking damn it, that was too much. Too sappy, too cliché. Too close to admitting the truth of exactly how much Nines meant to him.

The sound of Hank choking as he tried to repress something dragged Gavin out of his own head, a blessed distraction until Gavin realized that the aborted sound had been a surprised laugh. First the detective's gaze tracked around Connor's impassive face to the lieutenant's, and he felt his stomach sink at the barely contained amusement on the man's face. Hank looked like he had just unwrapped the first present on Christmas morning and it was exactly what he had hoped for. His eyes twinkled and his lips twitched, eager to stretch themselves into a grin that the lieutenant was clearly doing his very best to restrain. Gavin could picture the man's shit-eating grin anyway, and he flashed his gaze quickly to the TV screen, confirming his suspicion. Yep, there it was. Gavin sucking face with a half-dead Nines.

I'll never hear the end of this, he groaned inwardly, literally biting down on his own tongue to keep from snapping. Hank was holding back out of a sense of respect or sensitivity or what-the-fuck-ever, and Gavin didn't want to risk messing that up right now. Just this once, he didn't want to incite a confrontation.

What he did want was to storm into whatever operating room or repair node Nines was in, chew him out for being the sort of fucking idiot who nearly gets himself killed and scares his partner half to death…and then kiss him again. He didn't think he misread the way Nines pulled him back in, despite his own panic clouding his senses. But then again, maybe Nines had just…been glitching. Or afraid. Gavin would never accuse Nines of being scared to his perfect face, but the fear was there anyway. The android had access to the full range of emotion, and even though he hid it better than his predecessor, Gavin had gotten too close to him to not notice the signs. Gavin figured that if he was the one dying, he'd take whatever comfort he could get. That was all it was. The thought hurt more than Gavin cared to admit, even to himself.

"Gavin Reed?" Someone stepped out of the hallway where they had taken Nines, clipboard in hand. It wasn't the same android that had spoken to him last; this one was the same model as the receptionists that had returned to work at the department, although her hair was an unusual shade of dark red and her probably unnecessary white lab coat made it clear that she wasn't a secretary. "Mister Gavin Reed?"

"Uh…Yeah, I'm--That's me." Gavin leapt to his feet, heart in his throat, and made his was over to her. Connor and Hank were hot on his heels. "How's Nines?""He's doing fine. We're running a few final diagnostics and ensuring there are no residual complications, but so far everything seems nominal," the lady paused to let that sink in, smiling encouragingly when Gavin couldn't help melting back in relief. He was close enough now to read her nametag: Ella. "The moment he was functional enough to speak he inquired about you. He was very insistent on seeing you when we informed him that you were well and in fact waiting on him, even in the…fragile state he was in."

"'Insistent?'" Gavin questioned. The other word that stood out was fragile, but Gavin didn't need any elaboration on that one. Didn't want it, either; wasn't sure he could handle knowing exactly how close he had really gotten to losing his partner. Knowing that Nines could have died was bad enough without the exact list of everything that had been wrong.

"We had to restrain him temporarily, to prevent him further damaging himself." Ella explained, tone deceptively casual as she turned towards the hallway door, swiping her ID card against the scanner and allowing the trio to follow her in. The fact that she didn't question Connor or Hank only gave the detective pause until he remembered that Connor was the spitting-fucking-image of Nines, at least as far as someone who didn't know the pair well was concerned.

Huh. Having to be restrained while already falling apart was somehow very on-brand for Nines. Because he was worried about Gavin. What a fucking idiot. Gavin couldn't deny the heat that pressed its way through his chest and into his cheeks at the thought.

"Uh." Was all Gavin could managed out loud. His heart was pounding in his own ears, his muscles twitching, demanding he move faster. Connor struck up a conversation with Ella about Nines' condition, which Gavin tuned out instantly. They passed by several open doors and even more closed ones, taking a left turn and then a right before they finally came to the room where Nines was waiting.

Another swipe of the keycard and the door swung open by itself. Gavin pushed past a tolerant Ella into the room, barely noticing the table full of blue blood and parts, the two other doctors, or the half-naked, half-skinned state Nines was in. The plan had been to march into the room with a smart-ass quip on his tongue and an unaffected smirk on his face. Nines would understand exactly what Gavin really wanted to say, because he always did, and would snark back with something scathing that would only flood the detective with relief. What really happened is that, the moment Gavin saw Nines perched on the edge of the metal operating table, mechanical arms folding back up into the ceiling above him, skin still missing across his chest where the plastic had just been repaired, he very clearly decided fuck it all and launched himself directly into his partner's surprised but receptive arms. The smooth white exoskeleton felt strange against Gavin's cheek where it rested on Nines' exposed shoulder, but the feeling was far from repulsive. Nines' arms wrapped immediately around the detective's back, strong and reassuring and--

"Dammit," Gavin groaned, pushing himself back just a little too reluctantly. "You're such a fucking prick, Nines."

His words lacked any heat, especially considering the way he was still standing between the android's knees with Nines' long hands flat against his back. It was at that moment that Gavin decided to become acutely aware of exactly how many people were present in the room. Three technicians, plus Connor and Hank--the latter of which was failing to repress his snickering. The moment Gavin turned red was the moment Nines' hands fell away, allowing Gavin to step hurriedly back.

"I'm glad that you're unharmed, detective." Nines said, formality worming its way into the space Gavin had just made between them. Gavin saw it for what it was: hurt. A dash of confusion, maybe. He suddenly wondered if Nines had been bothered by the other eyes in the room; the android had never shown any signs of shyness or modesty before and there was no reason to assume he'd start now. Even though he would understand why Gavin pulled away, Nines would not have done the same.

"I'm only unharmed because you're a goddamn idiot who insists on putting himself in the way!" There, Gavin was getting back on track. Anger was easier than worry or whatever the fuck that hug had been. Sentimental wasn't a good look on Gavin, and he hated the way it hurt from the inside out. Call it unhealthy, but at least he had learned to manage his anger--mostly through physical means, namely punching the shit out of something or someone, but whatever. For now he settled for raising his voice and letting every ounce of the terror he had felt manifest as fury. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Nines. There was a "thank you" hidden behind the entire outburst. "If you ever fucking do some stupid shit like that again I will--"

"Kiss me again?" Nines interrupted, one brow cocking up and the twitchy equivalent of a shit-eating grin pulling at the corner of his mouth. Hank barked out a laugh, quickly silenced. Gavin went redder still but ignore it. The skin reactivated over Nines' torso in that strange, wavy manner, flawless and almost as smooth as what lay below. Gavin wondered, just for an instant, if it would still be as hard to the touch as plastic, but he knew it would be soft. Velvety skin would give just a little under Gavin's fingers if he would only reach out and touch it.

"You jackass," Gavin snarled, and then, snapping to his decision, gave an exasperated sigh. Like he was helpless to stop what happened next. He was beginning to think that maybe he was helpless, but the thought wasn't nearly as horrible as it should have been. Nines' grey eyes watched him so sharply, every hard line of his face was so intense. It was difficult to breath under the scrutiny. Between that and pounding of his own relieved heart (fuck it, fuck it, fuck it) and the dread that had pinned him down for the past hours finally flooding away all at once the moment he laid eyes on Nines… "Fuck it."

The detective had every intention of letting himself fall forwards into Nines arms again, and he didn't care who was in the room anymore because dammit he had nearly lost Nines. Let him have just this one moment to enjoy having his partner back. The android slid off the table the instant Gavin began to move, as though he had only been waiting on affirmation that Gavin did in fact want him. And fuck, Gavin did. Nines' mouth met his halfway, those lithe fingers wrapping themselves around Gavin's waist to pull him close. The skin on Nines' stomach and chest was every bit as perfect to the touch as Gavin had guessed it would be, and he trailed his flattened palms up the android's cool torso until he could wrap his arms around his neck, twirling his too-rough fingers into soft, curly hair. Nines didn't complain.

For a brief moment of clarity, he heard someone--Hank?--clear their throat and someone else muttered to give them space. There were footsteps, the sound of a door hissing shut, and--

Gavin couldn't think anymore. There was a faint chemical taste to Nines, not nearly as bitter as Gavin thought it should be, and he wondered absently if that was the android or the environment. Given how deeply Nines was returning every push and pull of Gavin's mouth, the detective was fairly certain he'd be able to find out for sure at a later date. The thought made his heart pound, and he realized finally that he needed to breath. Nines seemed to come to the same conclusion, or at least had felt the way Gavin prepared to pull back, because he did so first, leaning away only slightly to stare into Gavin's eyes. Which did nothing to help with the breathing. Or the pounding heart. Or--

"I'm so fucking glad you didn't die," Gavin was surprised at how hoarse and whispery his voice was. Intimate, like how he sounded when he had been thoroughly fucked-out by previous boyfriends, his mind hazy with pleasure and even sometimes genuine affection. If Nines had lowered him to that level with just a kiss…well, he didn't actually know what the android was packing, if anything at all, and now was definitely not the time. He didn't know what this was, what it was going to be, if it was even anything other than an adrenaline and fear come-down. At the moment, it really didn't matter. He just hoped that Nines would read his sudden temperature spike as embarrassment about the kiss or confession. "Nines, I'm serious. You can't do this shit to me ever again. I will lose my fucking mind if I ever have to sit in some waiting room for hours worrying about whether you're going to be alright again."

Something dark and guilty passed through Nines' breathtaking eyes and settled there, his entire face pulling just slightly downwards in tandem. He squeezed Gavin's hips tightly, urgently, but not enough to hurt. "I would do anything to protect you, Gavin."

Gavin waited, although patience was not his particular virtue, heart jumping at the sound of his name in Nines' mouth. He wanted to taste it too, feel his name against his own lips, but this was more important. Nines' LED went yellow, his lips parting in a silent, unnecessary sigh.

"I will be more careful about how I go about it in the future. So long as you promise to avoid excessive danger."

“Hmmm," Gavin grinned, the reassurance enough to make him feel lighter than he had all day. "I'll have to think about that."

Another sharp squeeze to his hips, and Nines leaned in with renew intensity. The next time they pulled apart, Gavin panting and Nines having the good grace to look mildly flustered, the android's voice was just as low as Gavin's had been before. Equally intimate, equally afraid. "I don't want to stay here anymore."

Gavin nodded, two sharp little motions that he hoped portrayed the words "thank fucking god because this place is creepy as shit" and allowed himself to untangle from the android with only a small amount of hesitation. He straightened his own jacket idle, taking in for the first time the full state of the android. That is, Nines was completely bare except for a pair of black briefs not unlike what he had seen the androids at Eden Club wearing. Huh. Probably Cyberlife issued.

Which led Gavin right back to his earlier train of thought. Which led inevitably back to what are we?

Nines turned away, rummaged through some cabinets at the far end of the room, and slipped into a pair of paper scrubs, just like at a human hospital. It unnerved Gavin for just a moment; the clinic had felt far enough removed from a hospital that he had only felt the need to focus on his one concern, Nines. Clearheaded now, he was beginning to smell the sharp chemicals that he had tasted on Nines and recognize the bone-deep dread that accompanied Gavin into any sort of medical building.

Nines draped an arm around Gavin's shoulder, no hesitation or question. Maybe Gavin should have brushed it off, shot the android a glare, and marched out of the room and the clinic with what remained of his pride. But he didn't. Didn't want to, not even for an instant. The weight was heavy but comfortable, and the fact that they hadn't needed to talk about it--that Nines could see what Gavin really wanted, and apparently wanted the same thing--made Gavin unbelievably giddy despite the settling discomfort. It was a weird mix of feelings, but as they strolled casually out of the room, together, like that was how it was always meant to be--as he saw Hank smile so kindly at him, and Connor look so genuinely overjoyed; as he felt Nines lightly squeeze his shoulder in casual reassurance--Gavin thought that he might never have been happier. Sure, he'd have to eat a lot of his words the next day at work, but Nines…

He tilted his head to plant a kiss on the android's cheek, relaxed and uncharacteristically sappy, and Gavin knew that Nines was worth it.

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turnyourankle · 6 years

Note

do you have a teeny tiny snippet for chapter 4? im dying 😭

hi anon here’s a little spoilery preview for the next chapter ❤

The sound of Harry stirring upstairs caught Louis’ attention. He straightened his back where he sat, preparing himself to face him. Normally he’d go on with his business, enough to be aware of Harry’s presence, not necessary to actually have his eyes on him at all times, but– But he didn’t know what to expect. He looked upstairs as if pulled to the sound.

Still, he startled when Harry came into view. Sleep rumpled and movements slow as he braced himself on the railing. He looked down, eyes searching for Louis, loose curls framing his face.

“I thought you’d left,” Harry said, his tone indecipherable to the thundering pulse in Louis’ ears.

“No,” Louis said, But I might have to, itching at the back of his mouth. But he swallowed it down. Harry shook his head, as if reprimanding himself for thinking louis would leave although it was his job to be there.

At least that’s what Louis hoped he was thinking.

When Harry disappeared out of view Louis was hit with the thought that maybe Harry had planned this. This kind of transgression on Louis’ part was a surefire way to ask for his dismissal. He wasn’t proud of the thought, but it was there even as Harry came downstairs, loose limbed and shamelessly nude.

Harry walked towards the windows, opening the blinds. He still preferred having them open, unwilling to change his routine, his environment, more than necessary. The morning light flooding into the space, a reminder that there was an outside world. That whatever happened in the loft would have consequences.

Harry yawned, unconcerned and unaware of the accusatory thoughts racing through Louis’ head. The way Louis tried to study his face, his posture, to read his mind.

Louis plucked a mug of coffee for Harry to use. Trying to push away the bile in his throat reminding him of what a massive mistake he’d made.

Harry approached and worked on making himself a fresh pot of coffee. He measured out the grounds, cleaned out the French press and put the kettle on.

Louis locked eyes with Harry’s hands as he worked. It felt like the only safe space for his gaze to land. And even that wasn’t safe enough; Harry’s long fingers, his short nails. They were the same hands that had gripped Louis so tightly there were probably marks left behind. Hopefully nowhere Louis might see and be reminded of their night together.

As unbalanced and off-kilter Louis felt, as unusual Harry’s open demeanor was with him, it didn’t feel like Harry had gotten away with anything. He was pouring his coffee into is mug. He was looking through the fridge for food, and plucked out a carton of cream.

Louis told himself that logically it didn’t make sense for Harry to trick Louis into crossing a line just to have him dismissed. He’d been given multiple outs. Louis had offered to step away repeatedly if Harry would’ve preferred. There was no reason for this type of ruse.

Unless he was also trying to destroy Louis’ reputation. It was an intrusive thought, and Louis swallowed more coffee to drown it.

“We’ve got to finish the croissants before leaving,” Harry said, offering up one croissant from a paper bag.

He was talking about Montreal, Louis reminded himself. That’s what he meant by leaving. He felt paranoid; his training to think up the worst case scenario backfiring in this context. Their flight was tonight. It was a trip Louis wouldn’t be able to avoid regardless of how he felt, Liam wasn’t prepared to jump in on that.

Louis picked at the flaky bread, unfurling it as crumbs gathered on the tabletop.

Louis’ swallowed some air, coughing into his fist. “Niall will be here in about an hour.”

Harry seemed a bit confused, Louis elaborated, “I’ve got that call with London. And he’s giving me some equipment for the trip.”

Harry nodded then, understanding setting in. He must have realized that their Montreal weekend trip would require some preparation.

“I’ll be dressed by then,” Harry said as if that were the pressing issue. “Did you want an egg?” He offered, breakfast supplies lining the counter.

“No, I’m fine.” He probably couldn’t eat more, the few pieces of croissant heavy in his throat. Harry hummed his agreement, further tilting reality. He’d seen this Harry, but he hadn’t experienced him first hand. But it felt disingenuous, unearned.

Louis spoke before he hand a chance to stop himself, “I was thinking about checking with the head office before we go–”

“Have they got updates?” Harry’s curiosity evident, eyebrows lifted.

“I– I’m not sure.” He refocused his gaze on the slope of Harry’s shoulders. It was a safe spot to stare. His shoulder couldn’t look disappointed. Wouldn’t be offended or relieved at the suggestion that Louis might leave “I was going to ask them about rotating in some new officers. It’s typical to rotate staff, for safety reasons.”

“Is that code for you leaving?” Harry asked, perplexed.

“It would still be Neon staff. I’m not suggesting we withdraw as a team–” Louis tried to correct Harry. But he didn’t have time to finish before Harry interrupted.

“But you are.” It was emotionless, and Louis caved in and looked at Harry’s face. He was shut off again, as if a switch had been flipped.

“I think that might be best.”

“Why?” It was a challenge more than a question. Harry’s arms crossed and chin tilted up.

Louis clutched his coffee mug. It was oddly domestic, arguing over breakfast– which was exactly the opposite of what he should’ve been thinking. He tensed his jaw before speaking, “I might not be the best choice for you right now.”

Harry cocked his head. “Throwing that back at me, are you?”

Louis had forgotten that Harry had said that when they first met. That maybe there was someone out there better suited to protect him than Louis was. But maybe he’d been right.

#since i won't be able to post today #this will have to do #i'm still waiting for my new laptop to arrive #i'm not the type of person who can write on my phone >.<#massive respect for those who can #cut your teeth on my heart

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mmmmalo · 6 years

Text

Rambling:

Realized a minute ago that the visual link between the blackened Skaia and Aranea’s dome has precedent in Vriska talking about bashing her head like an 8 ball (the very motif that leads to 8r8k H34DS, the part of the code that seems to account for Doc Scratch’s egg head).

So it makes sense that the above conversation with Terezi (which leads to Vriska’s face exploding) is echoed just after the decapitation of Spidermom, which leads to Vriska’s own head being covered in blood as though it had been busted open again, next to some 8-balls which also bleed blue.

I’m not sure what this emphasis on breaking heads tells us about what Vriska wants, though the parallel with Aranea/Jake is certainly interesting. But the idea that Vriska’s desire was in some way articulated by both her lusus and the circumstances surrounding death of her lusus opens up some interesting (and highly speculative) territory.

At the end of her conversation with Aradia, Vriska curses the “muscle8east [Equius] rode in on”, which is later echoed in Karkat cursing “the joke book [John] rode in on”. The circumstances of John’s birth (Nanna falling from a ladder) contribute to his fear of falling -- which, among other things, illustrates the fear John holds towards the collapse of an ideal, an allegory shared with Hitchcock’s Vertigo (x). Aurthor dies by falling, so between that and the shared line around birth circumstances, we can infer that Equius’s fear/desire has some relation to the fall. This is further supported by the layout of LOCAS, which contains a number of grottos into which Equius must descend in order to reach his gate -- lands stoke their players anxieties, so it’s possible that falls his land necessitates are a source of trepidation for Equius.

I would hazard a guess that this folds into Equius’s general fear/desire of degradation/submission. John believes that his earthly form is a corruption of the ideal essence from which he descended, and seeks to return to. This ties into a dichotomy of superior/inferior that corresponds with a physical high/low. At the very least, literally lowering oneself (by falling, kneeling) seems to hold similar connotations for Equius, who gets worked up over degradation and power disparities. Though strangely, the ideal that Equius aspires to (unity of man/horse) would also be that which he desires to see fall? Like he has to prop it up in order to knock it down... (Since this ideal essence is Fatherly on John’s side, I wonder if the Death of the Aurthor / Birth of the Subject is being set up as a pun, where the horse-man is a symbol fatherly au(r)thority...?) ((And incidentally, this parallel between Equius and John would also bolster the claim of horses as a symbol of spirit/Heart))

But in order for this to hold water, it would also be necessary for other lusus deaths to fold into our conceptions of their wards... so let’s give that a try for the others.

Tinkerbull was crushed by Tavros’s “four wheel device”, the same term applied to skateboards and thus Unreal Air. Both ends of the chain relate to Tavros’s established wish to fly: in the sense that a true seer lacks sight, and or the unbreakable katana is implicitly unreal, the paralysis resulting from Tavros’s fall seems to grant him “unreal air” in the form of a torso that glides over the ground. But the death of Tinkerbull would indicate that the subsequent falls from ill-fated attempts at flight are also a part of his desire...?

I still don’t know what to make of the mobius double reach-around virus, but the first peep we hear from Crabdad comes after Karkat captchalogues a captchalogue card, which then crashes through the floor and bonks the beast. There’s a sense of self-impregnation to the embedded cards, which could relate to Karkat’s self-cest kink? (Which, incidentally, also forms part of his resistance to the concept of having ‘ancestors’)

I don’t know what to make of Terezi’s dragon lusus hatching and then immediately dying via meteor. In the abstract sense, it could be read as an injustice, the death of an innocent? In which case it would follow that Terezi’s desire for justice is tempered by a desire for injustice?? Which would offer an amusing rationale for her framing of Lemonsnout and her increasingly nonsensical trial against Vriska, or her murdering John despite knowing no comeuppance would come of it in the Alpha timeline...? But this leans too heavily on a choice of word... the visual symbol of justices is the scale (and by extension the dragon itself...?) so a proper reading would need to account for that, while also integrating Terezi’s apparent desire to embody justice that came with turning her own gaze into that of the all-seeing red sun?

Sollux’s lusus died in an ejaculatory explosion of light, which is also the way Sollux lost his sight in the duel with Eridan? So.... wish granted, maybe. Worth noting here’s that ‘Sol-lux Captor’ can be read as ‘Captor of Sun-Light’

Kanaya’s moth-mom died of natural causes, but Kanaya following this by cutting the Matriorb/Egg-Sun out of mom’s gullet certainly reiterates both the moth-interest in sunlight and Kanaya’s personal investment in motherhood....

Nepeta has an intrusive future-thought of Pounce dying in a cave-in, which is followed by Karkat manifesting for her, talking about breaking blocks.... a lot of the above mentions have a motif of falling, or failing, perhaps related to Homestuck’s fixation on bad/failed creations. Desire for such failure brings in the concept of Freud’s death drive, a theoretical precedent for discussing self-destructive desire. Viewing the Nepeta’s bloody cave as a womb-symbol, and cat/Karkitty as child-symbol, her scenario seems to involve a failed birth, as is more explicit in Terezi’s case. Under the general idea that a troll’s demise will also articulate their death-wish, we can view Nepeta’s death at the hands of Gamzee as an esoteric extension of this -- possibly in line with viewing her exit from the vent as a symbolic ejaculation (x), upon which the fetus gets crushed...? But what annoys me here as elsewhere is that I have no clue how to integrate this desire into Nepeta’s general pattern of behavior... I suppose... in the conversation with Karkat, she specifically builds the bricks into a house and invites Karkat inside, a gesture within which Karkat functions as both father and child by putting himself in Nepeta’s proxy ‘cave’. Within the general pattern of fear > fetish turns that are abundant in Homestuck, you might gather that Nepeta gets some sort of morbid enjoyment from the prospect of failed pregnancy...? I’m kind of fumbling about here, but this is somewhat important. Nepeta appears with Karkat in Roxy’s dream, so if this account of Nepeta’s psyche were to hold, it would indicate that Roxy similar gleams some sort of dread/enjoyment from the prospect of iced cats.

I don’t know what to make of remaining 4 trolls: I’m not certain we ever see exactly how the lusii of the 3 highest blooded trolls die? And though Aradia’s lusus seems to die in the same attack that killed Aradia, I don’t know how to tie that into her story in general.

#homestuck reread 3 #vriska

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ijustwant2write · 6 years

Text

Wrong Lover-Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes (Part 3/?)

(GIF credit to owners)

Masterlist

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8

Summary: (Y/N) throws herself back into work, hoping that it will help her regain some memories. The team decides that a simulation is needed before she can be out back into the field but of course it doesn't all go to plan.

Characters: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, mention of other Avengers

Meanings: (Y/N)= Your name

(Y/L/N)= Your last name

Warnings: I don't know a lot about amnesia

Tags: @lovely-geek @projectxhappiness @seargantbcky @pluckastarfromthesky @crazy-little-thing-called-buck @aznkim @buckyness-intensifies

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Glancing up at the clock, I sighed deeply as I saw how many hours had gone by since I first started working. I didn't want to sit around and do nothing, I needed to get back into my work routine. After requesting this, I was given some files that needed to be typed into the system; so basically work that was beneath me. I didn't type up files often, only when necessary or if I had lead a team myself on a mission. But my sole purpose in S.H.I.E.L.D was to go out in the field. This frustrated me, I wanted to go back out there. However it was deemed 'irresponsible' and 'dangerous' to let me back out there as I didn't have a strong bond with my team members anymore. Plus they wanted to see if I would fully recover before putting me back out there.

Shutting down the computer, I rearranged the files, slipping them back in the envelope they arrived in. For a moment I just sat on the bed, unsure of what to do. I didn't want to risk going out of my room, I could run into someone. It was a strange feeling, I wanted to get to know these people but at the same time I couldn’t bring myself to do so. Suddenly, an female sounding AI voice erupted through my room, making me jump out of my skin.

"Miss (Y/L/N), Mr Stark requests your presence in his lab." She spoke.

Do I answer back? Was I supposed to say anything?

"Miss, do you wish to be alone?"

"Oh no, uh, I'll be there." I answered, waiting for her to say something back. When she didn't, I presumed that she had told Tony my reply.

I had literally just thought about hiding myself from the rest of the world, yet when confronted (and by a voice no less) I instantly caved. Letting out a frustrated huff, I gathered a better looking outfit than leggings and a hoodie, heading to meet Iron Man himself.

Ever since I arrived, it seemed that Tony had stayed away from me. I'm not sure why. Perhaps he didn't want to deal with it? Maybe we weren't as close as everyone thought we were? Either way it had sort of helped that there was one less person to deal with, as horrible as that sounded.

This whole building was a maze in itself, so I had been sent a digital map to my phone, hoping that I wouldn't get lost whilst recovering. As I studied it, I hadn't realised someone was walking towards me, though neither had they. We collided, the force of our bodies sending me flying backwards until I was caught. Looking up, I had been saved by Steve, and I started to panic at our closeness. Without thinking, I shoved him away, feeling an intrusion of my personal space. His face showed hurt, though he tried to smile. I couldn’t think of anything to say, instead I just walked around him, picking up the pace as I rushed down the hallway. It felt as if I was in a cringy rom-com and I played the awkward yet adorable lead role who didn’t face the problems in front of her. I didn’t even look back, I couldn’t risk that, knowing that he would be upset by what happened.

Trying to ignore the encounter, I carried on with my journey to find Tony, suddenly freezing when I arrived. The walls were made up of huge windows that gave everyone a look into the lab. Tony was working on a suit with a robotic crane assisting him, holographic computers surrounded them. I had seen his work before obviously, but never this close...not that I remembered. He spotted me wavering outside the door, returning to his suit as the doors slid open for me. Taking a hesitant step inside, I took in everything around me, amazed that one person could invent so many things.

“Take over for me.” Tony said, confusing me at first until I saw the robot take over ending the suit.“This is awkward, though I didn’t for once think it was going to go smoothly.”

I stood in the middle of the room, not sure where this conversation was going to go.

“Your therapist said that he wanted to hold meetings with all of us to help you but I honestly couldn’t see how being stuck in an office would help.” He gestured to the space around us.“Hence why I invited you down here.”

“Did I spend much time in here? With you?” I finally spoke.

“Sometimes. You liked testing out the technology for missions. Most of the time was spent with Steve though.”

A wave of nausea went through me and apparently Tony could see that.

“I don’t see the same spark you guys used to have. Obviously this amnesia situation is the reason but I’ve gotta be honest, I’m not sure how it’s all gonna turn out.”

I shrugged.“Me neither. Nothing seems to be working.”

“I don’t have any memorabilia to help you. Our friendship was just based on...memories.”

“Don’t worry. I’m hoping something just triggers everything to come back.”

I heard footsteps in the hallway, making me glance behind me out of curiosity; this conversation was also going no where, I needed a distraction. Bucky was walking by, looking in when he saw me. I smiled at him, receiving one back immediately. When I turned back around, Tony had a different expression on his face, though I was scared because he looked angry.

“What was that?” he asked.

“What was what?”

“You two, smiling at each other.”

“So? It was just a friendly smile.”

“You haven’t smiled at any of us instinctively, why does he get one?”

“I...I just did... don’t know what else to tell you.”

“Do you feel comfortable around him? Relaxed?”

I was starting to raise my voice.“You’re jumping to conclusions.”

“Am I? I just don’t want this jeopardizing your chances of getting better-”

“Everyone keeps saying how I need to get better yet no one has asked what I really want.” I shouted.

“And what do you want?”

“I...” my voice went quiet again.“I just want to live my life without everyone telling me what it used to be.”

With that, I walked out the room, tonnes of thoughts rushing to my mind. Everything was so confusing. Why couldn’t I just go back to work and go from there? Why couldn’t I live my life how I wanted to? I ran all the way back to my room, slamming the door shut behind me and shutting everyone out for the rest of the day.

The next day was filled with tension. The team had been called together by my therapist, though none of us knew why. We collected in the common room, everyone was already sat down by the time I arrived. They all looked at me with warm smiles and I masked one back for them. Hesitantly sitting down, my eyes met with Bucky who nodded towards me. For some reason I felt reassured, until I realised Tony was watching me like a hawk. Luckily Dr Warwick came in, standing in front of us with his clipboard.

“Thank you everyone for coming. I wanted to conduct an activity that may help Miss (Y/L/N)’s recovery. We will be using the simulation room today like you would whilst training. So the scenario will be one of which you are out in the field and I just want to see how you all interact. That and the fact that someone is eager to get back to work.”

I lowered my head, not liking the sudden attention. The focus went back to the doctor who explained the activity further. Once finished, we all got suited up, stepping into the simulation room. I had used this before, in my own training and to train new recruits. Although you were stepping into a virtual reality, it all felt so real, even the pain; it wasn’t as bad as an actual injury but enough to stun you. We all stood together, awaiting further instruction. I felt myself drifting towards Bucky, stopping myself as my thoughts went back to Tony. No, he wasn’t going to get to me, not now at least.

“Can you all hear me?” Warwick’s voice rang through our coms.

We all nodded in response.

“You are going to be based in a forest where a terrorist organisation’s secret bunker is located. There are a number of S.H.I.E.L.D agents being held hostage. Your aim is to get all of them out of there with minimal injuries. The simulation will commence in ten seconds.”

“(Y/N),” Natasha caught my attention,“you’ve done this sort of missions before, you know the basics right?”

“Yeah, just guide me along, I don’t know how you guys work together.”

“Don’t worry, it’s pretty easy to follow along.”

I took a deep breath, hoping that all would go smoothly. Bucky placed his hand on my shoulder, making me look up at him.

“You sure you’ll be ok?”

“Yeah, let’s do this.”

The simulation started, all of us suddenly on the edge of the forest. People were paired off, Sam and Tony took to the sky, Wanda, Steve and Vision headed straight on and Nat and Clint went to the left; looked like Bucky and I would be going to the right.

“Bucky, look after her alright?” Steve instructed before heading off with the others.

“I always do don’t I?” he replied, making me run after him as he went into the forest.

“Are we normally paired together?” I asked quietly as we stealthily ran through the trees.

“Yeah, most of the time. Steve is with us too normally.”

I grabbed his hand and pulled him behind a tree. He stayed silent, though it was obvious he didn’t know why I was hiding us until he heard distant shouting which weren’t our team mates. I peeked out from behind the tree, spotting two soldiers.

“Oh look at that, one each.” I beamed.

He chuckled.“You’re already enjoying this aren’t you? You take the one on the left, I’ll take the right.”

We jumped out of hiding, charging towards the unsuspecting soldiers. They were shocked as they spotted us though had no time to defend themselves. It only took a few punches and take downs before they were knocked out cold. I spoke into the coms.

“They’ve got soldiers patrolling the area. They won’t be in big numbers but they’re armed so be careful.” I assured everyone, receiving confirmation after.

Bucky and I continued walking on, hearing bits and pieces from the others. I held onto my gun tightly, eyes scanning the area constantly. Something wasn’t right, it was too easy and that was never a good sign. The terrain was starting to become steeper like a hill, giving us an advantage as it acted like a barrier against the enemy. We fell against it, knowing that we were close to the bunker from Tony’s information. To our right we could see Steve, Wanda and Vision also leaning against the hill. We needed to get to them in order to advance but there was a dip in the barricade, meaning that we would be exposed to the enemy.

“You go first, I’ll cover you.” Bucky said, surveying the area as I got ready to run.

It was an easy dash, no one had spotted me and I made it safely to the other side. Steve reached out to me, holding my hand as I joined them. I decided to hold onto him, hoping it would help with the mission. We all watched in anticipation as Bucky checked around him before running. The four of us covered him this time, but somehow none of us spotted the shooter aiming right at Bucky. He was suddenly hit in the torso, a scream erupting from me as I saw him get knocked down. Ripping my hand out of Steve’s, I sprinted towards his body, not thinking about the consequences. Bullets ricocheted around me as I tried to drag Bucky back to safety. Steve ran out to help me, lifting him easily and hiding us behind the barricade again. As we placed his body back down, I crouched over him, inspecting the wounds.

“(Y/N), you can’t just run out into the fire line-”

“Steve shut up! You’re friend is hurt.”

When in these simulations you got so lost in the task that you forgot that none of it was real. All that Bucky had suffered from was a light tasering, not a real bullet but in my mind I couldn’t stand to see that happen. As I watched Bucky try to control his breathing, Steve starting shooting back at the enemy.

Steve crouched down again.“(Y/N), we need to carry on. Vision can get him back to base safely.”

“No, you need him out here. I’ll get him back.”

“That won’t work-”

“It makes sense for Vision to-”

“The simulation has been terminated.” Dr Warwick announced as everything around us froze.

The group was together again, despite the distance put between us in the field. Bucky groaned as I helped him to his feet, shaking off the pain. I pretended that the others weren’t watching, practically reading their minds about the situation at hand. I didn’t care. They may have thought that I was their friends but at this point in time I didn’t feel the same way. it was cold hearted and it was the only way I was going to get through all of this.

“I have seen enough. Thank you everyone for participating, you are dismissed.”

As soon as the last word was spoken, Steve stormed out of the room, Bucky and Sam chasing after him. The rest of us were stunned, I could feel them all looking at me. To get away from them, I too scurried away, going after the boys out of curiosity. My breathing was still fast, I was panting for air and my limbs were hurting. Things were moving too fast for me, I was struggling to keep up both mentally and physically. They hadn’t gone far, I almost ran into them. Hiding around the corner, I listened to their conversation, trying to remain as silent as possible.

“Steve, it isn’t Bucky’s fault.” Sam said in a stern tone, obviously trying to diffuse whatever was going on.

“You didn’t see the way she looked at him! She used to look at me like that.” Steve argued.

“You’re probably just seeing things. You want her back, we all do.”

“How come she’s more comfortable around my best friend rather than me?”

Bucky spoke up.“You were in a relationship, you can’t act neutral around her. The rest of us can and that’s why she’s comfortable. The doctor did tell you to tone it down.”

“I know how to get her back, and following their orders is not going to help.”

“All I’m saying is the day she woke, you were very full on.”

“She looked at you like she loved you, and I should know cause we looked at each like that all the time.”

It went quiet after that. I leaned towards the hallway closer, wondering what was happening. Suddenly there were footsteps heading back towards me and I had no where to go. Before I could even take another step, Steve rounded the corner, stopping as he saw me. His intense glare made me look away from him, scared for what was about to happen. He said nothing, turning in the opposite direction, Sam and Bucky going after him again. I shared a guilty look with Bucky.

What was I doing?

Why was I ruining everything?

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