#Joshua is not considerate at all

[kiwiplaetzchen]

Who is Joshua and why did you hurt him? Why did he touch the carrots and leave? A selfish bastard?

Joshua got what Joshua deserved. And it got served cold and without love. Just how Joshua likes it.

[mochacoda]

[teaser] python | csc

Pairing: Choi Seungcheol x GN!Reader

Synopsis: When you broke up with your boyfriend to work in a different country, you didn't expect to see him ever again. But when you transfer to your company's Seoul branch four years later, the department head is your ex, and he’s made it his objective to make your life a living hell for leaving him all those years ago.

Content: Angst, Fluff, Comfort | Exes to Lovers | Office AU

Tags: emotions, miscommunication, heartache, workaholic!seungcheol, insecure reader, drinking, a lot of crying, begging, petnames (sweetheart, love), konglish w/ translations, no "y/n," this is for everyone who voted for cheol in the poll, loosely connected to too nice (joshua)

Word Count: 8K (est. full)

Release Date: February 14

Masterlist

“I hate him,” you seethe, your fists balled up, crumpling your rejected proposal. “God, I hate him.”

Your coworker, Joshua Hong, looks up from his cubicle with raised eyebrows. “Who?”

You breathe in deeply, willing your rage to dissipate at the sight of his confusion. Poor Joshua doesn’t deserve your anger. “No one,” you say, clenching your jaw. 

Open-mouthed, Joshua blinks rapidly, eyes flitting over to glance at the office you had just walked out of. The door to the room is marked with a name plate that has 최승철 [Choi Seungcheol] in bold, gold letters. 

“I��m fine,” you insist, hands uncrumpling the document you had just attacked. 

“Uh, okay?” he says with a healthy dose of doubt, elongating the “o” in “okay.” 

“I just—” you begin, then immediately shut your mouth. “Ugh, forget it.”

It’s one thing to crumple a proposal up, and another thing to start bad-mouthing your boss out in the open. You throw the tattered outline onto your desk, then plop yourself into your chair. You rub your temples, and then mutter under your breath, “How did I get here?”

“Good question,” Joshua laughs. “Company synergy?” 

You groan, “Don’t ever say that word again in my presence.” 

“Mmh,” he says, walking over to your cubicle. “You won’t have to worry about my presence in a few months.” 

“Don’t remind me,” you sigh, dropping your head in your hands. 

Joshua would be leaving the Seoul branch and transferring to the New York branch in a few weeks. 

Curse your company for its commitment to “workplace synergy,” swapping out a handful of employees across all departments in its international branches every few years. If it hadn’t been for this horrible program, you wouldn’t be here right now. 

You want to rip out your own hair, at this point.

How did it even get to this? You shut your eyes, thinking back to simpler times. 

When you first got a job offer at the New York branch of your dream company, your initial reaction was elation. Your second? Doubt. Leaving Seoul was almost unthinkable, not to mention the fact that you’d be leaving your boyfriend behind, too. 

For the first few days after hearing back from the recruiter, you knew you’d accept, but kept the news to yourself. You’d heard of so many horror stories about long-distance dating, and after a long period of consideration, you wondered what the point was. 

You knew your boyfriend—really knew him. You knew he’d make sacrifices for you at the expense of himself, and it was impossible for you to accept bogging him down with a 14 hour time difference. He’d stay up waiting for your calls, instead of getting much needed rest. He’d worry about you all the time, checking the weather in Manhattan instead of Seoul and calling you constantly instead of his family and friends. He’d wait on you for as long as you needed, in an almost obsessive way, thinking it could make up the difference in distance. But he deserved someone who could love him in person, all of the time. 

It’d be better for Seungcheol if you just let him go, freeing him to focus on what mattered more to him. Like work.

He loved you too much to break things off with you himself, so it was better that you did it. For his own good. 

That’s what you told him, at least. 

────୨ৎ──── Four Years Ago

“Cheol,” you said, teary-eyed. “Cheol, look at me.”

Seungcheol stared blankly at the ground, face frozen. 

“Please?” your voice cracked.

“Who are you to tell me what I can and can’t handle?” he suddenly choked out, eyes flashing with hurt. His hands clenched, like he was holding himself back from saying more.

You swallowed thickly, reaching for his arm. “Cheol, I—”

“Don’t call me that,” he said, snatching his hand away from you. 

────୨ৎ──── 

But you had swallowed the real reasons for the breakup. 

Because, deep down, you had always suspected otherwise. Somehow, everything had just become so complicated. Loving Seungcheol—which had once been something as easy as breathing—had become a dull pain in your chest, clouding your every thought with insecurities. 

Even from the start of the relationship, you’d loved him more, anyway. Back then, you didn’t mind it because you loved him so much, and he was always so, so sweet to you. But around the time of the job offer, paranoia had reared its ugly head, kicking your uncertain thoughts into overdrive. 

It was obvious that he didn’t really love you anymore. While you were job seeking, he was distracted. Always checking his phone, not really listening to what you had to say. He made time for you, but he didn’t necessarily make you feel like he loved you as deeply as you did him—it didn’t feel like he was the same guy that you started dating. 

Something about his actions just felt like he did them to claim that he loved you, rather than because he actually loved you. His actions were laced with a kind of surface level, superficial quality. 

He’d take you out to a fancy dinner, open the door for you, pay for the meal, drive you home—all the gentlemanly things he did when you started dating, too. But on the car ride there and back, and while sitting down eating together, he wouldn’t remember the things you had said about the little things happening in your life—a major change, when compared to the start of your relationship. 

And sure, he didn’t have an obligation to remember your next door neighbor's name. But shouldn’t he remember your favorite kind of pie, or your closest cousin’s name? Shouldn’t he just know not to check his phone every time it pings with a new email, or leave you to eat your stupid expensive pasta alone as he takes a call outside?

It was almost like Seungcheol had fallen out of love with you, but was staying with you out of some kind of obligation to continue what he had started? That was your only explanation for why he’d spend time with you, but wouldn’t pay close attention to the things you said. Every Thursday was movie night, and in hopes of trying to keep him away from work, you let him choose the movie every time. But what use was that, when he spent more time looking at his phone than the TV—and more importantly, you, for that matter? 

You’d been dating a ghost of a man. While you loved him, he tolerated you. 

If the two of you stayed together when you went abroad, he’d probably double down on texts, but he wouldn’t really remember anything you’d said if you mentioned details about them in calls. 

You didn’t bring any of these fears up to him, because you knew that he would continue to deny it. In fact, you’d imagined it in your head so much that you could see it when closing your eyes to sleep. If you confronted him, he’d deny that he didn’t love you anymore. But he’d be staring at the ground instead of looking at you. He wouldn’t admit that he was only with you because he enjoyed the consistency of your affection, and because he somewhat pitied you—and most importantly to him, because he wanted to prove to himself that he chose correctly when he started dating you. 

The pain of watching the love of your life push down his repulsion just to be with you was decidedly more horrifying than the pain of breaking up with him altogether. 

Right before ending things, it had occurred to you that Seungcheol might not have ever loved you in the first place, and that just hammered in the idea that you were making the right decision. He’d get over the breakup fast. He’d probably be thankful for it in a few years, even. If you saw him again, you’d both probably laugh, and in his head, he’d realize that he was grateful that you ended things so that he could focus on his real love, his career. 

If you were honest with yourself, you would admit that there was a bit of selfishness driving the breakup, as well. There was no way you could handle Seungcheol sacrificing things for you—if he lost sleep over you, if he worried about you, if he was distracted by you—because you knew he wouldn’t be doing it for love. 

Because he only ever cared out of a superficial need to prove to himself that he made the right decision in asking you out all those years ago. Not because he really loved you. 

Yes, he probably never loved you, and he would never know the real reason why you ended things. 

────୨ৎ──── Four Years Ago

“You give up so easily,” he spat out. “Was I nothing to you?”

Tears were running down your face. “Don’t. Don’t make this harder than it needs to be.”

Seungcheol laughed, then buried his head in his hands. “God, to think I almost—” 

He stopped, jaw tightening, then shook his head like he couldn’t believe it.

────୨ৎ──── 

A hand comes down sharply on your desk, jolting you awake. 

“Sleeping while on duty?”

Wide-eyed, with tear-stained cheeks, you look up to face your ex-boyfriend. “부장님! [Department Head!]” 

Upon seeing your red-rimmed eyes, Seungcheol falters.

Swiping at your under eyes quickly, you bow your head to him slightly. “I’m sorry, it won’t happen again.”

He swallows roughly, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He opens his mouth, like he’s about to ask you why you were crying, and your heart drops. 

You will crumble if you hear the tone of voice he had used when you broke up with him.

“Excuse me,” you blurt with choked words. 

You don’t dare to look at his eyes. Instead, you get up from your seat, then immediately flee to the bathroom.

────୨ৎ──── Four Years Ago

“You can focus on work, now,” you squeaked out. 

Seungcheol scoffed again, a cruel sound of disbelief. “What makes you think I give a damn about work right now?”

“Don’t you? Always?” you sniffled.

His eyes flashed with something you couldn’t quite describe. He seemed angry, but not just at you. At himself, too—his hands were balled into fists at his sides, fingernails digging sharply into his palms. His throat bobbed, and you could see the intense restraint he was forcing on himself. He opened his mouth with a sharp breath, then closed it again, as if he wanted to say something but stopped himself.

Masterlist

Author’s Note: get ready for a rollercoaster

Disclaimer: nothing i write is representative of how svt acts off camera, take their names as stand-ins for oc’s!!

Taglist: @syluslittlecrows - @junplusone - @fragmentof-indifference - @junniesoleilkth - @woncheecks - @peachypie97 - @viciousdarlings - @11zzyy

[eomayas]

tell me a joke • hjs

pairing: husband!joshua x wife!reader, established relationship & parent au

genre: smut 18+ MINORS DNI!!!!!!!!!, fluff, slice of life, reader is jealous

synopsis: reader definitely isn't jealous when she sees her husband making another woman laugh, and she'd like to know what is so funny.

warnings: p in v, oral (f receiving), slight dom/sub dynamics, implied jealousy, joshua makes a bad joke (my bad).

a/n: i do think joshua is funny but for the purposes of this fic, reader doesn’t give him enough credit 😭😭 enjoy. this is sort of ass but yk.

your husband was funny, but he wasn’t that funny. your attention keeps being. pull from the group conversation you’re having, to your husband and another woman having a conversation a few feet away. you don’t have a problem with joshua talking to and with other women, you trust your husband and don’t feel threatened by other women. but, the amount of laughter you’ve heard come from her mouth in the last few minutes is enough to make your eyebrows raise and be curious as to when joshua picked up a side career as a comedian. again, he’s funny, but he is not that funny.

casting another glance in that direction, you take a notice of the hand she places on his arm and decide you’d like to hear some of the jokes he’s been telling, since he’s so funny. “hold on, i’ve got to go check on my husband,” you say to the group of women you’re currently talking to, downing the rest of the water in your cup and setting it down on the table. they all cast their eyes on joshua, a few of them snickering.

“do what you’ve got to do, girl,” you appreciate the support and start to make your way towards joshua until you are intercepted by tiny arms wrapping themselves around your legs.

“mama, we found a lizard!” your daughter shouts, bouncing on her feet. you look at her with big eyes and wide smile, bending down to pick her up and swoop her in your arms.

“really? was it a baby? or was it big?” you ask, carrying her over to joshua with you. it’s probably messed up to use your own daughter as a reason to interrupt your husband talking to another woman, but you don’t want to come off as jealous or clingy.

“mmm, in the middle. it was so cool, mommy! can i get one?” she asks, making you give her an absolutely not look. she pouts and gives you puppy eyes that always work on you, and sigh.

“let’s ask papa,” you say, sidling up next to joshua and interrupting the conversation. joshua looks over at you and your daughter and smiles a big smile, opening his arms to engulf the two of you in a hug. you feel a sense of relief wash over you, and you wish you didn’t because you really do trust joshua, you just don’t know the woman he’s talking with.

“ask me what?” he asks, a curious look on his face.

“oh, papa, can i get a lizard? please?” she begs, reaching for him. if anything, he was the one who would crack easiest out of the two of you. the moment she asks for anything, he usually says yes unless it’s extreme, but even then he’ll take it into consideration.

joshua flashes you a look of confusion and kisses your daughter on the cheek. “a lizard?”

“yes, papa, we just found one! oh, put me down please!” she struggles to get out of his grip until he sets her feet down on the ground, and she takes off running to go play with the other kids. you can help but laugh, your daughter being a ball of energy neither of you really know where to place.

“that girl, i tell you,” he chuckles, watching her run off and play with a look in his eye that breaks your heart in the best way. it’s the same look he had the first time he held her after you gave birth, one that lets you know that there’s nothing in this world that he loves more than being a father. “but hey, honey.” he says, grabbing your hand and pulling you towards him.

neither of you are too big on PDA, but you take the opportunity to kiss him, the hand that’s not holding onto his going to rest on his abdomen. when you two pull apart, he looks at you quizzically before remembering that you’re in front of company. “oh, minhee, this is my wife, y/n,” you give her a polite smile and extend your hand.

“hi, im yeji’s mom,” she says and you nod, the polite smile on your face. but you never drop joshua’s hand and he rubs the back of it with his thumb.

you decide that you’ve really seen enough and that it’s time for you to go back to the group you just came from. “well, it was nice to meet you!” you turn to your husband and kiss him on the cheek, your hand resting on his side. he can tell there’s something up, but he’s not sure what it is and knows it’s not the time to bring it up. he squeezes your hand before you slip away and out of his grasp, and makes a mental note to bring it up later.

slipping into bed, you pull on your glasses and pick up the book on your nightstand. you’re grateful for a calm and quiet night, your daughter having a sleepover with her cousins thus allowing you and joshua to have a night of uninterrupted sleep. your daughter is prone to waking up in the middle of the night, for a bad dream or otherwise, and ends up sleeping between the two of you more than half the time.

joshua comes out of the bathroom and shuts off the big light in the room, only leaving your lamps on the nightstands to illuminate the room. you look up from your page and give him a smile before going back to your novel. he hovers above his side of the bed for a second and you notice, ready to say something until he finally slips under the covers with you.

"hmm?" you hum, not looking up from the page you are currently reading. you can tell joshua has something to say, you know him too well, and he knows that you know him too well.

"it was a nice party, yeah?" you chuckle to yourself at the small talk. its his lead in, of course, to whatever is on his mind that he feels like he can't outright say.

"mhm. it was cute; minji had a lot of fun," you say. he makes a noise of agreement and then its quiet. you stop reading but keep your eyes trained on the page. he shifts in bed, and then a heavy hand is placed on your leg above the sheets. you feel its warmth all the same, and put your bookmark back into you book before placing it on your nightstand. "yes?"

joshua gives you a bashful smile and lightly shakes his head. "what was that earlier?" he questions, cheeks lightly dusted with a cute blush. you pretend like you don't know exactly what he is referring to, and furrow your eyebrows and ask him, "what as what earlier?"

he chuckles and lets out a sigh, gently patting your thigh. "oh, you're cute," he says, lolling his head to the side and looking up at you, an amused expression on his face. he knows you too well. "were you j- don't say it!" you cut him off and gently hit him across his stomach. he knows you hate that word, hate it being used in reference to your personality or behavior especially.

joshua captures your hand and brings it up to his mouth and places a kiss on the back of it. you watch him and let out a sigh through your nose. "I wasn't jealous," you state, but even you know that isn't entirely true. "I just wanted to know when you got so funny." you state. joshua laughs in mild confusion and sits up against the headboard.

"i'm always funny."

"no, you're not. but I love you anyway," you say, gently pinching his cheek. he rolls his eyes and pushes your hand away and you laugh. "if you're so funny, tell me a joke."

"you want to hear a joke?"

"if you're as funny as you and minhee seem think, yeah."

he smiles at you and squeezes your hand. "okay, i'll tell you a joke," joshua starts. you raise your eyebrows in anticipation. joshua presses a long kiss to your cheek, clearly stalling and further proving your point. "okay, i've got one." he says against your skin, gently dragging his teeth against your jaw.

"shoot."

he rolls on top of you and tugs you down flat onto your pillow. he kisses your neck, right under your jaw and then moves to the column of your throat. "what do you call a wet plain?" he mutters, mouth moving down to your collarbones as one of his hands skates up the side of your thigh and underneath your short, silk nightdress.

"a wet plain?" you question as his mouth skates across the tops of your breasts. he hums and hooks his fingers in the band of your underwear and pulls them down to your knees. "what?" you gasp when joshua drags two fingers up your folds, collecting your wetness and spreading it around your clit, making you twitch and knees press together.

joshua flicks his eyes up to meet your own and gives you a knowing look. flushing, you tell him the joke sucks, and let out a loud gasp when he disappears underneath the covers and attaches his lips to your clit. he suckles on your nub and yanks your underwear down the rest of your legs. "j-josh! fuck!" you cry ripping off your reading glasses and pushing the blanket down to rest on the back of his neck. your husband licks up between your folds before pushing his tongue into you hole, making you gasp and arch your back off the bed. sheets get crumpled beneath your hands and your thighs try to lock around his head, but joshua forces your legs open and uses his shoulders to keep you spread out for him.

your hips buck up into his face as he laps at you, sucking and licking at every inch of you. with each whimper and moan from you, joshua grows painfully more hard. his dick aches in his pants, desperately wanting to be free and buried inside of you. "o-oh, f-fuck! joshua, fuck!" you shriek. he knows your body like the back of his hand, understands what every whimper, gasp, and moan means. it all encourages him to keep going, but he knows that you are close.

joshua inserts two fingers inside of you and curls them upwards and attaches his mouth around your clit again. he fucks his fingers into you and you cry out his name, thrashing on the bed above him. your entire body feels hot and sweat coats you face, neck, and chest with a light sheen.

"im g-gonna cum!" you yelp, hips bucking up into his face. joshua continues to suckle on you clit and move his fingers in and out of you, pushing into that spongy spot inside. your vision goes spotty as the coil in the pit of your stomach snaps and brings you to your release. joshua slurps up your juices in an attempt to get every drop. you lie above him with your eyes closed as you try to regain your breath, your chest rising and falling like you've just ran a marathon. "shit." you breathe out, followed by a small whimper when he pulls his fingers out of you.

you crack an eye open when you feel joshua move from between you legs and sit on his knees above you. he places his fingers in his mouth and sucks your arousal off and shoves his other hand down his pants to stroke his aching cock. "fuck," he hisses, eyebrows furrowing as he shamelessly pumps his own cock in front of you. "baby, i need to fuck you." he says, his voice full of lust and desire.

"then fuck me," you say, pulling your bottom lip in between your teeth. you fully open your eyes to watch him pull off his pants and boxers to let his dick spring free. the tip is red and swollen, and pre-cum leaks out of it.

"i love, you know," he rasps, grabbing your left leg. he kisses the inside of your ankle before draping it over his shoulder and doing the same to your right. "does this feel alright?" he asks, fingertips mindlessly stroking you skin softly.

you nod and reply, "i know." to his previous statement. he kisses your knee and lets go of one of your thighs to grab onto his cock to line it up with your entrance. "i love you, too."

he smiles at you and leans down to kiss you on the lips, and to test if folding you in half is uncomfortable. when you don't make a sound of discomfort, he pulls back and starts to push his cock forward into you. when he presses the tip in, your mouth falls open in a silent gasp. he presses in a few more inches then stops to let you adjust to the stretch, but he doesn't give you long before he starts moving in and out. "fuck, you're tight," he grunts. you involuntarily clench around him and he lets out a harsh breath. "shit."

"more, joshie," you whine, grabbing a fistful of the sheets. joshua drops his head and speeds up his thrusts, groaning every time he pushes into you. you pant out his name and squeeze your eyes shut.

with every thrust into you, it feels like he’s knocking the air from your lungs. he’s reaching deep inside of you, hitting spots that have you seeing stars. “fuck, baby, i-i love you,” he grunts, pushing your legs closer to your chest. “and i love this perfect pussy.” you sob out his name, legs shaking on his shoulders.

“shua, i-i cant t-take it!” you cry out, clenching around him each time he pushes into you. that familiar knot forms in your stomach and grows tighter and tighter each second.

“i’m close too, baby,” his hips lose rhythm as he slams into you harder than he previously was, each thrust punctuated by a swear. “fuck, i’m close. fuck!”

moments later, you’re coming for the second time and he follows seconds behind you, filling you up and stuffing you full of his seed. he stays still inside of you, keeping his cum from spilling out of you. “i love you,” you pant, legs feeling like jelly when you try to move them off of his shoulders. joshua kisses you calf and gently takes your legs down onto the bed but keeps himself stuffed inside of you. “so much.” you add, reaching out to him. joshua leans down and captures you lips in a kiss. the movement makes his hips rock into you and you gasp against his mouth, hands splaying across his broad back. you can feel his love with the way he holds you, with the desire he kisses you with.

pulling back from your lips, you whimper when he moves inside of you again and he only winks at you before pulling his cock out of you. melting against the mattress is practically what happens, and he falls into place next to you. he grabs your hand and strokes the back of it with his thumb. “you don’t have to worry, y/n,” his voice is soft and makes you feel warm all over.

“i know. it was stupid,” you say, turning your head to look at him. he leans towards you and kisses your forehead. “i just wanted to laugh too.” you add pettily. joshua chuckles and sighs, rolling you onto your side and tugging your backside into his front.

“wanna hear another joke?” he mumbles into your ear, the arm that he’s laying on coming up to cup your breast in his hand while the other skates up your nightdress. soft sighs leave your mouth when he squeezes your boob and tweaks your nipple through the thin fabric.

“s-sure,” you breathe when his hand slips between your thighs. the setup and pun is lost on you, and you’re not sure if it’s better than the first because he buries two fingers inside of you and yanks the top of your dress down to let your breasts spill free. bad jokes be damned, he makes you cum two more times—once on his fingers and the second on his cock, your throat scratchy from crying out his name.

joshua may not make you laugh with his jokes, but he knows how to fuck you just right.

[sanakiras]

BLOOM FOR ME

PAIRING — finance major!mingyu x law major!reader

WORD COUNT — 18.1k

SYNOPSIS — even though you and mingyu share the same friends, there’s a clear distance between you. when you make a drunken mistake, he suddenly becomes increasingly aware of your lack of a relationship with him, and he takes on the challenge of changing it — not expecting to fall for the ice princess who turns out to be less cold than he thought.

TAGS — college au, slice of life, strangers to fwb to lovers, angst, fem!reader, slowburn-ish, rollercoaster of somewhat unrealistic events, minor use of the fake dating trope, not proofread, explicit sexual content, inexpressive!reader, fear of intimacy, once again a fic that seemed better in my head than the finished product but idc!

♪ — pearly drops - bloom for me,, kid cudi - kitchen,, the fugees & ms lauryn hill - killing me softly with his song

NOTE — sooo this fic is pure self-indulgence because i wrote mc as a character very similar to myself! some of these scenes are based on my own experiences :D my personality type is intj which i incorporated a lot here, do with that what you will x

you and kim mingyu just don't work.

to be honest, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who didn’t like him or get along with him. most people on campus either wanna be him or be with him — which makes sense, ‘cause he seems to have it all. he’s smart, talented, and awfully good-looking.

and in hindsight, you have no clue as to how or why you landed in his little clique a few months ago, which is composed of a bunch of guys who appear to have very little in common.

all you remember is how joshua, a pre-med student with a soft voice and a passion for playing guitar, introduced himself to you as you were both assigned to help out with student orientation week at the start of the new academic year, and the rest became history.

you’re not sure how he managed to wiggle his way into your personal life, or why he seems so goddamn keen to be there for that matter. the same goes for his friends — chan, seungcheol, soonyoung, minghao, seokmin and mingyu. you’re closest to joshua and seokmin, though you get along well with most of the group.

soonyoung is pursuing performing arts, and he’s loud — extremely loud. you like his sense of humor though. chan does theatre and has mentioned he wants to have his own dance studio later in life. seokmin also does theatre and is arguably the biggest ray of sunshine you’ve ever met. cheol is a business administration major, a great debater, has quite the fire in him, and he looks great in a suit. minghao is more reserved — a psychology major. very sweet and polite, likes to meditate and is surprisingly good at martial arts as well.

and then there’s mingyu.

he studies finance, though he’s considerably less obnoxious than most of the students who pursue said degree. from what you’ve gathered, he has quite the range of talents, which, in all fairness, is pretty impressive.

the guy might as well be the complete opposite of you. he’s popular, loud, outgoing, smiles a lot, known to have a real heart of gold. an entertainer.

you find yourself at the other end of the spectrum. much more on the quiet side, usually only speaking up if you deem it necessary with a sarcastic quip, more often skipping social gatherings than actually attending them.

yet in spite of your closed-off nature, the majority of people closest to you are extroverted, always trying to pull you with them in their adventures, though remaining respectful and understanding when you don’t come with — because that’s just the way you are.

perhaps that’s the sole reason why your relationship with mingyu can easily be described in a single word.

non-existent.

neither of you have anything against each other — it’s just that, out of the group, you seem to have the least of a connection with him. you certainly never do anything together or talk to one another when you’re not with the rest of the guys, and even during the moments you are, saying you’ve had a proper conversation with him would be an overstatement.

for the most part, aside from saying one-worded greetings and goodbyes, you pretty much just disregard the other’s existence.

or, well — that used to be the case.

because there’s this dirty secret the friend group doesn’t know about — and that’s that you and mingyu slept together.

it happened only a few weeks ago. it was supposed to be a simple, fun night dancing and letting loose at soonyoung’s party, which he hosted right after midterms were over. everyone got drunk, including you — way more drunk than usual, it was terrible — and the only thing you remember is waking up in a room you’d never seen before, a bed that definitely didn’t feel like the one you wake up in every morning, your clothes discarded on the floor, and his warm body next to yours.

had you been even the slightest bit sober back then, you absolutely wouldn’t have gotten into bed with him.

it’s not that you don’t find him attractive. on the contrary. he’s sex on a stick, with his strong arms, small waist, sharp jawline and beautiful tan skin — it’s no surprise he’s done several modeling jobs for some extra cash.

but despite all of that, casual hook-ups with people in your circle are not your thing. they’re not his either.

neither of you remember much of that night. you two are rarely ever alone together, so it’s practically been impossible to talk to you about it, and you’ve never been close enough with one another to even text or meet up.

after the incident, you just continued living your life like everything was the same as before. honestly, for the most part, it was.

but mingyu likes to take risks in life. that, and being open about his feelings is just who he is. so he wants to talk to you, privately.

when he finally does manage to catch you alone, which happens to be right after you’ve walked out of your criminal law class, you’re not exactly welcoming to him.

“what are you doing at the other side of campus?” is all you greet him with.

“i’m good, thank you for asking.” he jokes in an attempt to make things more light-hearted, but you don’t pull a single muscle, face remaining the exact same, so he swallows and clutches the strap of his shoulder bag a little tighter. “i, uh... i felt like we should talk about what happened the other night. soonyoung’s party.”

“what’s there to talk about?”

“what we did. together.”

“we fucked. so what?”

oh. that’s a much more blunt response than he expected, even if he is used to those kind of remarks from you.

“well—” he cuts himself off, really cursing himself for not properly thinking of what to say to you before showing up outside of your lecture hall all of a sudden, “don’t you think it’s something we gotta discuss?”

“you want a professional analysis about how much i enjoyed it or something?” you ask with a furrowed brow. “not that i’d be able to give you one, considering it was all just a blur.”

“yeah, i can’t exactly remember much of it either. look, i... i don’t usually hook up with people i’m friends with—”

“except we’re not friends. i don’t think you’ve ever said as much to me as you have in this conversation.”

even though it’s true, it does feel like a slap across the face for a reason he can’t pinpoint. he’s aware you can be blunt sometimes, but this is more than people usually get out of you.

“fine. we’re just acquaintances. but we do share the same friends.” he says after a moment of awkward silence, his tone sounding a little colder than before, subconsciously trying to compensate for your unwelcoming attitude. “doesn’t that matter to you?”

sucking at the inside of your cheek, you sigh. “did your roommate notice me?”

his roommate being jeon wonwoo, the cute computer science major who likes to spend his free time working out and playing video games, always walking around campus with headphones stuck in his ears and a pair of glasses up on his nose. he and mingyu are both on the football team, you’re pretty sure.

“no. he didn’t see a thing. not as far as i know, anyway.”

“good. so that means we can both just pretend it never happened, yeah?” the smile you put on your face is so painfully fake that it makes him clench his jaw.

“yeah.” he mumbles bitterly, and you move away from him, going down the stairs, and mingyu rests his head against the wall, huffing in annoyance and embarrassment.

to be completely honest, he’s not sure why the whole ordeal bothers him so much. what you said was all true, even if you could’ve worded it differently.

many, many questions pop up in his mind. do you have something against him? do you not like him? if that’s the case, why? has he ever said something that caused you to get a bad impression of him? what do his friends have that he doesn’t, aside from considerably shorter legs?

he’s not sure what it is about you he finds so weirdly intriguing, but whatever it is, he’s discovered a fresh determination in him to find out.

mingyu is unsure of how to handle the situation with you. every time you look at him, all he sees is utter disinterest, though there’s very little he can make out of your facial expressions in the first place.

he finds himself seated at a table in the library with minghao, seungcheol and chan, pondering over the exam he’s got coming up at the end of the week, said thoughts coming to a halt once he spots you at the other side of the hall.

his gaze involuntarily follows you as you appear to be scanning a few bookshelves.

if he’s being honest, he’d already noticed you before the drunk-sex incident. he always thought you were pretty, and based on your your vocabulary and the way you spoke, he figured you were intelligent as well, so he silently admired you from afar.

and now, those feelings have only increased.

his eyes linger on your figure. it’s such a fucking shame he doesn’t remember his hands on your skin, the touch of your lips — he could actually cry just imagining it.

then he feels he’s getting too far in the sexual innuendos in his head, so he tells himself to stop right the hell now before his excitement starts to show in his pants.

god, he’s never like this. why is it irking him so much?

it’s chan — the youngest of the group — who grabs your attention, beckoning for you to come over to the table.

when you move to sit down on the empty chair between him and seungcheol, they begin to talk about how the shitty assignments they’re working on are so not worth their time, how one of cheol’s professors didn’t bother showing up for his lecture yesterday morning, and minghao mentions something about a new group project of his—

—and the whole fucking time, you feel mingyu’s gaze burning on you.

it both confuses and intrigues you. what the hell does he want now?

then when two of the boys get into a discussion, you stare right back at him, almost as if to tell him you’re aware of him watching you and you’re watching him as well, and a very thick yet silent tension rises between you.

he swears he catches the smallest glimpse of amusement in your features before you get up and tell them you’ve got to go to your lecture.

cheol raises his thick brow at his friend. “you’re uncharacteristically quiet.”

mingyu shrugs as he watches you walk out of the hall. “yeah, sorry. been a little preoccupied.”

“i can tell, ‘cause aren’t you supposed to be starting football practice right now?”

that snaps him out of it. he checks the silver watch sitting on his wrist, cursing to himself before grabbing his things and hastily throwing them into his bag before sprinting to his dorm.

the following day, as he’s working on his assignment, he decides to take out his phone, typing your username into the search bar on instagram.

your social media profile is as mysterious as you are. zero posts, some pretty aesthetic pictures found in your highlights as well as one or two with you on it, though blurry or with your face partially hidden.

it’s usually much easier for him to get close to people, yet with this, with you — it feels like the way is blocked, and he doesn’t know where to start.

tapping his finger on the table, he tells himself to make some kind of conversation with you the next time he sees you.

which is several days later, when the friend group is meeting up at a restaurant for dinner and drinks.

by the time he arrives — later than planned due to a study session running behind — everyone is already seated, including you. he’d hoped to secure a spot next to you for once, but you’re seated between joshua and seungcheol instead. the only vacant spot is at the other side of the table.

well, shit.

the worst thing is that you don’t seem to spare him a single glance. every time he looks your way, you’re either zoned out or intently listening to the boys around you as they tell their stories, with you throwing in a sarcastic little quip every now and then, making them laugh.

what he doesn’t notice is that you do look at him — he’d be surprised by the amount of times your eyes wander back to him, subtly observing him from a distance when he rambles about something his professor did during class or what went down during football practice.

he’s so handsome that it almost gets annoying to look at him.

it’s an hour before midnight when you decide to get going — you have an unnecessarily early class tomorrow and still gotta get back to your dorm. so you grab your coat and bag, announcing you’re leaving, after which they say they don’t like the idea of you going back on your own, but you refute it and tell them you’ll be fine like always.

“i can take you. i just remembered i gotta catch up with some things anyways before class tomorrow.”

mingyu’s sudden statement makes you blink at him a few times.

it’s not that he’s never offered to take you home before, ever the gentleman, but the situation always ends up with you either going home on your own with them keeping an eye on your location or one of the other guys taking you back, so his sudden eagerness to escort you to your dorm catches you by surprise.

it’s mainly joshua and minghao who catch onto your slight change in demeanor, but their puzzled looks are gone as soon as they came. they’ve had quite a few drinks, after all, and you’re pretty sure soonyoung is so drunk he’s on the verge of tears at the other side of the table, distracting them.

both you and mingyu say your goodbyes to the rest of the group before exiting the restaurant, embracing the fresh air outside.

it’s early october, your favorite time of year. you’re fond of the cloudy skies, the temperature right between warm and cold, and the leaves changing colors.

mingyu walks next to you on the sidewalk, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark denim jacket.

“i’m sorry for being rude the other day,” you speak up, breaking the silence, “i have a habit of being too straightforward for my own good.”

oh.

he didn’t expect this from you, but it’s a pleasant surprise, even if you’re not looking him in the eye at all.

so he shrugs. “it’s okay. looking back, i didn’t really know where i wanted the conversation to go, anyways.”

“i assumed you were just gonna ask me to keep it between us.”

“i didn’t even think about that, to be honest. i just don’t do stuff like that with friends, so... i guess i was just curious about your thoughts or something.”

you bare your teeth in a bitter smile, still refraining from looking in his direction when he’s clearly looking at your face. “you called me your friend again.”

the comment doesn’t sit right with him. “do you mind me asking why that bothers you?”

“it bothers me ‘cause it’s not the truth.”

god, you certainly do not sugarcoat things.

“do you... is there anything i did to make you dislike me?”

mingyu watches the way you clench your jaw at his question. it intrigues him. “i never said i disliked you, mingyu. i’m just picky about who i consider close to me and i don’t want anyone to get the wrong impression. sharing friends doesn’t make us friends.”

“not even a little bit?”

you chuckle again. he wonders what he’d have to do to elicit a real, genuine laugh from you. “name one of my hobbies. something i like to do in my spare time. the basics don’t count.”

he eagerly starts his sentence. “well, you like to... y’know... hang out with us.”

“i said no basics.”

“okay. fine. you got me. but, to be fair, you also gotta admit you don’t exactly share much.”

“you know who i do share things with? my friends.” you tease him, after which he laughs. you like the sound of his laugh.

“you’re evil.”

“thank you.”

he turns around, walking backwards in front of you so he can face you, finally getting the eye contact he’s been waiting to get. “i wanna be friends.”

“congratulations.”

“oh, c’mon. work with me here.”

“i would if it wasn’t so much fun to see you acting like this.”

mingyu feels a certain excitement rushing through his body when he sees how you look at him. “let’s get to know each other better. how about twenty questions?”

“oh, you mean like a conversation?”

he chooses to ignore your sarcasm for now. “i’ll go first. what’s a hobby of yours?”

“such depth,” you snicker, “i like to ice skate.”

“really? that’s cool.” he smiles, tilting his head. “okay. you gotta ask me a question now.”

“which of your friends is closest to you?”

yeah, he should’ve seen something like that coming. of course you wouldn’t go for small talk.

he ponders over the question before giving his answer. “minghao.”

“hm. interesting.” you just hum, clearly having no intention of explaining it, so you gesture for him to come up with another question.

“do you think you’ll ever be close with me?”

“no.”

“why?”

“not your turn.” you tell him, simultaneously trying to find out how far you can take this. “how many girls have you slept with?”

“four. why do you think we won’t ever be close friends?”

“because we’re too different. you can’t stand the fact that i give nothing away, i can sense it a mile from here.”

“it’s not that.”

“what is it then?”

“i’m… i don’t know, a people person. i want to get along with everyone, want everyone i like to like me. maybe that’s selfish, but… yeah. i like you and i wanna be your friend. it bothers me that you don’t.” he feels the words suddenly tumbling out of his mouth are taking the conversation elsewhere, so he tries his best to not come across as too intense. “i’m sorry for pestering you about it, i’ll just... walk you to your dorm and leave you be.”

he wants to increase the distance between you, but you don’t let him. your hand moves to his upper arm, touching him, but it’s gone before he can even look at it.

physical touch has never been one of your strong points, despite craving it at the same time. “i’m gonna say it one more time and that’s it — i don’t dislike you. maybe… i don’t know, maybe we could have a strong friendship, who knows. if you wanna prove me wrong, be my guest. i won’t stop you.”

“okay. anything i should know?”

you pout your lips as you think of things to mention. “i’m not a huge fan of texting. i prefer calling or meeting up in person. i’m more of a listener than a talker. i’m also a bit of a control freak so i’m not big on surprises. that’s all you’re getting for now.”

he thinks over your words and smiles. “i can work with that.”

not much later, you arrive at the university campus, and you use your card to enter your building, walking out front.

mingyu clearly feels it’s mandatory to follow you all the way to your door.

once you’ve arrived at your dorm, you lean against the doorpost. “thanks for taking me home.”

“you’re welcome. see you tomorrow.” he says. normally he’d give his friends something like a hug when saying goodbye like this, but he has a gut feeling you’re not very fond of physical contact with people who aren’t close to you, so he lets that go for now.

“bye.” the playful smile is audible in your voice before you close your door, and mingyu leaves your building with a sickeningly nice feeling in his stomach.

and he remains on your mind, especially once you watch him walk towards his own dorm from behind the window, unaware of your gaze.

it makes you scoff to yourself. you’ll give it to him — he’s sparked your interest.

“hey. mingyu.”

he’s roughly pulled from observing you in his secure spot in the university library by jeonghan, his partner for a project he’s working on. “what?”

“what’s going on? you’re awfully distracted.”

“it’s—nothing.” he responds, voice an octave higher. maybe he should quit this habit of looking at you every time he comes here.

“has anyone ever told you you’re a shitty liar?”

“many times, actually.”

“good. ‘cause you are.”

jeonghan is shorter than he is, with more of a lanky physique and slightly longer hair. he’s also the most annoying little shit mingyu knows — despite the guy being older than him — because he somehow. knows. everything. all the time. he knows things about mingyu before he knows them himself. if anything, it’s a talent.

“so who’s the girl?” jeonghan then asks in a more hushed tone, using his pencil to point at the girl in question.

mingyu looks in your direction again, taking notice of how nice you look today, and he just gives in to his friend, not even bothering to try and act stupid. “friend of a friend.”

“what does she do?”

“law.”

“she nice?”

“to a specific group of people, yeah.”

“oh, she’s a little mean to you, huh?”

“not mean. just distant. very distant.”

“that’s new.”

“what is?”

“you going for girls like that. it’s refreshing.”

“yeah, well—she doesn’t go for guys like me.”

“what do you mean?”

“i’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me at all. she’s wildly unimpressed by my presence, anyway.”

“how do you know?”

mingyu sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “she’s very close with joshua and seokmin, likes the rest of the guys too, but me… i don’t know. we’ve been in the same friend group for a year, and it’s like i’m the only one she doesn’t feel comfortable with. bothers me.”

“you’ve known her for a whole year and it’s only bothering you now?” jeonghan senses there’s more going on. “what led up to this? got into an argument?”

the younger of the two scoffs. “not at all. the contrary, actually.”

jeonghan jokingly throws in the first thing he can think of. “what, did you accidentally kiss her when you were drunk or something?”

“not entirely. we were both drunk, for starters.” mingyu comments, the next sentence muttered much more quietly. “and we had sex.”

a scoff of surprise leaves jeonghan’s mouth. “you slept together? when?”

“soonyoung’s party.”

“that was weeks ago. haven’t you talked about it? at all?” he asks, clearly invested in the story now.

“i brought it up, she brushed it off and said it meant nothing. told her i wanted to be friends with her a couple days later, but she said she doesn’t think we’ll ever be good friends ‘cause we’re too different, and it’s fucking killing me for some reason. she still said she was… open to friendship though.”

“ah, you like her.”

“yeah, obviously. problem is that she hates me.”

“no, i mean, you like her. you don’t just want to be her friend.”

mingyu is somewhat taken aback by his words. “i don’t have a crush.”

“don’t fool yourself. you’d never get this worked up over someone not wanting to be friends with you — you’re worked up because you wanna get to know her better and she doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know you at all.”

“i can’t be in love with someone i hardly know.”

“debatable. you still have a crush on her.”

“fine. whatever. say that were the case — purely hypothetical of course — what should i do to get her attention?”

jeonghan has that knowing smile on his face, the one that makes him look like he’s up to no good. “you gotta get a little selfish.”

“could you be a little less vague for once in your life?”

“create a circumstance where she spends time with you without it being planned.” he shrugs, as if that answers it. “something like getting stuck in an elevator for a few hours. you know what i mean.”

“well, unless you were planning on hijacking the elevator somehow, i don’t think i have all that many options.”

right there and then, the two recognize another student from their statistics class sitting a few tables further. she’s giggling to her friends about something, hesitantly looking their way, pointing at them.

“speaking of crushes, she’s got one on you.” jeonghan mentions, raising his brow.

it doesn’t interest mingyu all that much. “yeah, she asked me out a while back. i told her i was busy. didn’t have the heart to flat-out reject her. in hindsight, maybe i should’ve, ‘cause she acts like that every time i see her around.”

jeonghan can’t help but take advantage of the opportunity currently presenting itself like a fucking birthday cake. “are you thinking what i’m thinking?”

“probably not, since i have no idea what you’re getting at.”

he leans a bit closer to his taller friend, speaking in a more hushed tone this time. “you could reject her — subtly.”

mingyu frowns at that. “how?”

and jeonghan smirks a little to himself before he’s about to tell him his plan. “you’ve heard of fake dating before, right?”

the following day, you find yourself in the library of the law faculty, reviewing the slides of the lecture you didn’t feel like attending this morning.

someone drops their bag ever-so-subtly on the table at the empty spot next to you, and when you look up from your notes, you recognize your dearest acquaintance.

you huff, removing one of your earbuds to engage in the conversation you didn’t ask for. “what do you want?”

“you have got to stop saying that when you see me.”

“no, i like it this way.”

“of course you do.” mingyu merely scoffs at your words, sitting down next to you. “you look busy.”

“gee. it’s almost as if i am busy.”

“what’re you working on?”

“undoubtedly nothing you have any knowledge of.”

he rolls his eyes when you grin at him, clearly ready to dodge his questions with more of your sarcastic comments.

“are you always this much on edge?”

“mhm. i hope you are too — otherwise you’re taking up too much space.”

the comment has him frowning at first, and then he gets it, making him let out a vaguely impressed scoff. “you’re cute.”

“not exactly the word i would use.”

“really?” he says, taking the cap off his water bottle, “i think it suits you.”

you squint your eyes at him, finally taking the bait. “what do you want? seriously.”

he shifts in his seat, clearly happy you’re finally going along with him here. “you know the senior gala on thursday, right?”

“yeah. i’m not attending.”

“okay. here’s the thing — i kind of have this girl in one of my classes who won’t stop bothering me about going out on a date with her and stuff.”

“gosh, poor you.”

“i’m serious. it sucks.”

“what does this have to do with you bothering me?”

“well, i figured if she finally saw me with someone else, she’d back off.” he explains, leaning a bit closer to you. “meaning i need a plus-one who’s willing to play my girlfriend for the night.”

“so?”

“so, i’d like you to be my plus-one.” he grins.

“why?”

“why not?”

“you’re saying you wanna pretend to be dating?” you ask, and when he nods, you shake your head. “no one’s gonna believe that.”

“yeah, they will. it’s perfect. same friend group, completely different majors so she probably doesn’t know you — c’mon, consider it.”

he’s surprisingly convincing, as if he already knows how to crack your demeanor. you remain stubborn, though. “out of all the girls you’ve got in your contacts, you’re asking me?”

“you’ve made it clear we’re only acquaintances — i wanna change that. become friends. just like i told you.”

you finally lock eyes with him again, taking your pen away from the paper, refusing to back down once you notice how close he is. “i don’t know what you’re expecting, but you’d get nothing out of a friendship with me.”

he keeps his eyes on yours. “i’ll be the judge of that.”

when you roll your eyes at him, he can tell you’re considering it. “when does it start?”

“ten.”

“dress code?”

“go for a cocktail dress.”

twisting your lips, you push your tongue against the inside of your cheek, and even you are a little weak for those big, brown eyes of his. and you said you’d give him a chance, after all. “fine.”

“great!” he nearly jumps in excitement. “text me when you’re ready and i’ll come and pick you up.”

“yeah, yeah. now go. i got shit to do.”

and once you’ve watched him cheerfully skip out of your sight, the tiniest smile rises to your face, after which you chuckle to yourself.

mere days later, on thursday, mingyu finds himself at your doorstep. it’s not like him to feel nervous — so why the hell is he this time?

you open the door hastily. “hey. you can come on in, i’m all ready except for the pair of earrings i can’t seem to find.”

he watches as you search through small drawers in the cupboard by the wall. maybe he should be glad you’ve got your back faced to him, because he’s subconsciously staring at you, checking you out.

the velvet red one-shoulder dress hugs your features just right, and he’s stunned in his place before you notice he still hasn’t closed the door behind him. “mingyu. the door.”

“uh—yeah. sorry.” he stumbles, stepping inside, doing as he’s told before his eyes wander around your room. “don’t you have a roommate?”

“i used to have one, in my first year. got a single room after.”

“must get quiet after a while.”

“i like it that way.”

your words remind you of his roommate, wonwoo. he figures you’re someone who prefers solitude after a day of being around others, which he keeps in mind.

once you’ve found your earrings, you’re putting them in, and you notice him stepping closer to you. he actually looks criminally good in the black suit he’s wearing, his half-long hair sitting just right. the fucker might as well be a real-life prince charming.

you’re glad you went with smokey eyes. your look compliments his.

as you subtly watch him in the mirror, he comes to stand behind you, holding out the modest bouquet of red roses he’s been holding behind his back. “these are for you. i appreciate that you wanted to come with me tonight.”

the gesture makes your eyes soften. “thank you. oh, they smell nice.”

mingyu feels a little giddy inside when you give him a little smile before putting the flowers in a vase with water. it might be the first time he’s seen you give one that is genuine.

the gala is taking place at a fancy hotel close to university. the walk there only takes a few minutes. once you're nearing the entrance to the party, dimly lit chandeliers catching your eye, he gently puts his hand on your back, just underneath your shoulder blades. you raise a brow, looking over at him, and he shrugs. “i’m your fake boyfriend for the night, remember?”

which has you chortling for a second. “that’s not where to put your hands if you wanna make this believable.”

before he can change the position of his hand, you’re already doing it for him, pushing his hand lower with yours, watching the way his face drops when you allow him to go lower than your hips, breath hitching in his throat.

“that’s better. you can hold me and kiss me on the cheek if you have to. not too much, it’s not the right time and place for it anyways.”

“noted.”

once you’ve arrived inside and given your coats away, you notice most people here are strangers to you, anxiety kicking in, internally wishing you’d consumed some alcohol before coming.

and your companion takes notice of this from the way you’re suddenly squeezing his hand, which you’re undoubtedly not doing on purpose.

“you okay?”

“sure, i’m fine.” you faintly smile back at him.

he’s honestly considering saying fuck it, ready to ask you to just get out of here with him and go anywhere else instead — that is until one of your friends comes up to you.

“am i imagining things—”

“we’re fake dating, josh.” you answer him, increasing the distance between you and mingyu as if to emphasize your point. “his idea, not mine.”

joshua appears all kinds of confused. “okay. um… just—why?”

mingyu presses his lips together. what he said about the girl bothering him was all true. could he handle it on his own? probably. is fake dating slightly unnecessary and a little dramatic of a solution? undoubtedly.

but he just wanted you as his plus-one so bad. he saw it as an opportunity he couldn’t miss out on.

what can he say? jeonghan is weirdly persuasive.

“there’s this classmate of mine who won’t get off my back about dating, so i figured she’d quit if i showed up with a girlfriend. girlfriend being her.”

in spite of the explanation, joshua still looks at the two of you with a frown. “right.”

“i’m gonna go get us a drink. be right back.” mingyu says, almost regretting doing so when he realizes he has to take his hand off your back.

you watch him walk off to the bar, suddenly hearing your best friend chuckle softly next to you. “can’t believe i never considered you two before.”

“what are you talking about?”

“you and him. you’d be a nice match.”

“what, me and mingyu? we’d be a disaster.”

“why?”

“we’re too different, josh. and don’t even try to give me that opposites attract crap.”

his soft facial features melt into a smile that gives off the impression he knows something you don’t. “i think you’d be surprised. that’s all.”

whatever the fuck that means.

your fake boyfriend returns not much later with a drink for the two of you. despite your clear disagreement with joshua’s words, you just can’t help but think about what he said, especially when mingyu’s arm remains looped around your waist for quite a while as the three of you discuss the whereabouts of your friends.

the worst thing is that you don’t even mind him touching you. you’ve always been picky when it comes to the people who are allowed to as much as stand close to you, and mingyu was not one of those people until you grabbed his wrist after he took you home from dinner, which was only last week.

and that’s not the only thing you’re becoming increasingly aware of.

mingyu’s popularity is a bigger thing than you thought. either that, or half the people here are from his faculty. which is highly unlikely.

being as observant as you are, you’ve noticed several girls as well as guys pointing your way, making you feel uneasy.

so your hold on him tightens as you stare back at them, as if to silently tell them to fuck off and focus on someone other than your fake boyfriend.

you’re not actually jealous. no, that’d be ridiculous. you can’t be jealous of others wanting something you don’t even have in the first place.

chan and seokmin arrive half an hour later, having pretty much the same reaction to the situation as shua. but they play along.

though not without noticing how comfortable the two of you are together.

after several hours of drinking, dancing and socializing, you feel in need of a break. “hey, i’m just gonna get some fresh air outside, okay?”

mingyu’s lashes flutter as he nods. “would you mind if i came with?”

you gesture that you’re okay with it, so he takes your hand to guide you through the mass of people without losing you, the littlest of touches sparking an indescribable feeling in your stomach.

the air feels much colder now that you’ve been inside the warm hotel for several hours. you sigh, leaning back against the brick wall behind you, the surface feeling slightly uncomfortable on your one uncovered shoulderblade.

mingyu takes fake dating very seriously, as it seems. he’s practically been unable to keep his hands off you, and you’re going to indulge in it for however long it lasts.

as you’re standing outside together, you notice he’s loosened up more around you, not hesitant to get close either. he’s certainly not afraid to put his hand on your thigh, and you make zero effort to push him away.

his lips ghost by the skin of your neck, alcohol clouding his thoughts. “it’s nice to have you here. i wasn’t all that excited about going at first.”

“yeah, yeah. i made your night ten times better.”

he snickers. “you hear that often?”

“every now and then. don’t sound so surprised.”

“it doesn’t surprise me. i was just hoping i was special compared to the others.”

“doesn’t everyone?”

“you’re a little cryptic, anyone ever told you that?”

“maybe.” you respond, chuckling, allowing his lips to touch your bare skin.

mingyu bites his lower lip, not afraid to look you in the eye to match your playful gaze with a similar one. “do you not remember a single thing from the night of soonyoung’s party?”

he almost smacks himself for asking the question, seeing your expression falter a little. “no. neither do you, as you’ve told me.”

“no, i don’t,” he says firmly, mentally trying to slap himself for consuming so much alcohol that it makes him say things he usually wouldn’t, “but i kinda wish i did.”

“why?”

when he remains quiet, still trying to figure out the best way to respond, you gently take a hold of his chin to lift it up, making sure he keeps his eyes on yours. playing with him is fun.

“i...” he tries to utter the words, but god, he might as well be hypnotized.

before he can give his answer, seokmin loudly stumbles out of the building, catching your attention. he’s clearly had a bit too much to drink, his boisterous laughter echoing through the courtyard. seungcheol follows closely behind, a hand on his shoulder.

whatever moment you and mingyu were having is gone in an instant. cheol spots you, keeping his friend somewhat upright in the process.

“i’m gonna go take him home, couldn’t find the other guys. i think soonyoung might be next, though.” he says, doing his best to keep seokmin upright in the process.

so mingyu nods. “okay. i’ll go check.”

they say their goodbyes, after which he proceeds to looks at you again. you let your head rest against the wall again. “you go ahead. i’ll meet you back inside in a few.”

he silently agrees, returning to the people inside. you appreciate the silence, mentally drowning out the sound of people talking and cars driving into the background.

it’s then that some girl you’ve never seen before walks up to you. “hey. you’re mingyu’s new girlfriend, right?”

the crease between your brows becomes apparent. “have we met?”

“no, no. i’m in the same faculty as him. i was just curious. didn’t know he was dating anyone.”

she’s clearly had a bit to drink, though not enough for her speech to be incoherent. you’re not sure what to give her other than an awkward smile that looks anything but genuine.

but either she’s too far gone to catch the hint or she simply doesn’t want to. “was kinda surprised to see him end up with a girl like you.”

and since she’s probably not gonna remember this conversation tomorrow, you decide to engage in it for once. “what’s that supposed to mean?”

“i don’t know, ‘s just... you seem a little distant. just different. he’s never really gone for someone like you. no offense or anything.”

you keep your composure despite a certain emotion brewing hot inside you, whatever the hell it may be. the sheer audacity of some people to stick their nose in business that’s not their own. “gee. hard to fathom i landed a guy like that, huh?”

the sarcasm dripping from your tongue finally seems to get it through to her that her opinion is anything but wanted, so she mumbles something about going back inside, after which you lean back against the wall, closing your eyes for a moment.

worst thing is that she’s probably right.

you and mingyu just don’t work.

and you don’t even have feelings for the guy, so why does it bother you?

the whole thing upsets you enough for you to go back inside, rushing to find him to tell him that you don’t feel like staying.

when you return to him, he’s so used to his role that his hand finds your waist and his lips touch your cheek, but you smoothly back away this time. “i’m gonna go back to my dorm. you guys have fun.”

even over the noisy music and chatter in the background, he notices the change in your tone and behavior, which gives him the hint that something has upset you. “why? is everything okay?”

“i’m fine.”

“i’ll take you back.”

“i’d appreciate it if you didn’t.” you tell him, sounding harsher than intended. again. god, you keep messing up. you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose for a moment. “i’m sorry.”

mingyu is still processing your words as you’re leaving him behind.

then when you’re walking towards the exit, a girl accidentally bumps into you, spilling her drink over your dress.

goddamn. you wonder what the fuck you did to the universe for it to give you a night as shitty as this.

she begins to profusely apologize, very obviously sincere, but you just curtly tell her it’s fine, annoyance rising.

mingyu notices the situation from afar, deciding to go after you when he sees you walk to the bathroom instead of the exit.

the bathroom is awfully fancy, but it seems only fair for a hotel like this. clenching your jaw, you grumble while getting some paper towels, hiking the dress just a bit upwards.

god, you’re never agreeing to do that fake dating shit ever again. what a joke.

you huff as you keep trying to get the now barely visible stain out of your dress. you’re rubbing over the fabric on your thigh when someone walks in.

of course it’s him.

“any luck getting it out?” he asks, and you clench your jaw, throwing the wet paper towels into the trashcan beside the sink. your hands hold onto the cold surface, knuckles growing white as you focus on them instead of him.

“why am i here?”

“what do you mean?”

you turn your gaze to him, abandoning your quest of getting the stain out of your dress, annoyed that he’s acting like he doesn’t know what you’re talking about. “why did you invite me here? out of everyone you could’ve gone with, why did you wanna go with me?”

“are you angry at me?”

“answer the question.”

“i just…” he trails off, trying to think of the right words. “i just figured it was a way to become friends.”

you’re actually going to lose your shit if he as much as utters the word ‘friend’ to you one more time. “oh, jesus. cut the bullshit. why do you wanna be friends with me so badly?”

“i don’t know, because… because it occurred to me — y’know, after the party, after what we did — that we have little to no relationship and i wanted to change that.”

“oh, right. you just had to sleep with me before thinking of that.”

“no, i didn’t. i just haven’t been able to stop thinking about you since that night, and i—”

what the hell is he even supposed to say? he’s not even sure what exactly it is he wants from you. sure, he wants to be friends — but god, he spends so much time wishing he remembered what it was like to touch you that night, what you looked like underneath your pretty little dress, what you sounded like.

you’re quiet for a second before your whole demeanor changes, agitation shifting to intrigue. “so that’s what this is about.”

“well—what?”

“if you wanted to fuck, you should’ve just said that. instead of dragging me to this shit.”

“i—” he suddenly feels suffocated by the small size of the room and your body getting closer to his, backing him up against the door. “that’s not why i—”

“does it matter?” you ask, and he tries to hide his ragged breathing now that you’ve pressed your front against him, clenching his jaw.

it doesn’t help that you’re watching him like a hawk.

“not to repeat myself all the time, but i—i normally don’t do this with friends. i don’t want you to have the wrong idea of me.” he exclaims, cursing himself for looking down at the way your red dress is accentuating your curves so well.

so you begin to unbutton his shirt, and he breathes heavily because of it. “well, i guess you’re in luck. ‘cause we’re not friends.”

he’s about to tell you that he genuinely wants to be when you finally kiss him. it’s fast and intense and hungry.

whatever he expected, it wasn’t this — but he can’t find it in him to not give in.

his hand moves to the back of your head, pulling you closer, then proceeding to help you with unbuttoning his shirt, all without breaking the kiss.

mingyu shivers when your cold hands finally touch his bare chest, the faintest hint of your sharp nails nearly making him beg for you to dig them into his skin until he bleeds.

there’s a shift in control when his feet no longer feel locked in with the tiled floor, his hands trailing up your legs, fingers gripping the skin of your thighs. he lifts you up, allowing you to wrap your legs around his waist, only to have him pushing you up against the door, pressing his body against yours.

you’re rubbing your front against him, taking notice of the hard bulge in his pants, nearly crying out from his sheer size.

holy shit. no wonder you were sore after you slept with him — he’s fucking huge.

“gyu,” you break the kiss, “can i suck you off?”

the way you breathily call him by his nickname for the first time is nearly enough for him to bust in his pants. “wanna taste you instead. please?”

with your back resting against the surface behind you, you watch him as he sinks to his knees, kissing the inside of your legs, goosebumps erupting on your skin.

“are you sure?”

“yeah. please let me.”

“okay. just make it quick.”

in hindsight, maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say.

because he’s diving in faster than you can comprehend, lace panties pulled down in less than a second, making you gasp in surprise. your fingers grab onto a few strands of his hair, accidentally tugging on them, only to have him moaning in response, which is most likely the best thing you’ve ever heard.

your teeth sink into your lower lip as a way to suppress your moans, only deeps hums and groans escaping you, much to mingyu’s annoyance, because he wants to hear you.

his fingers slide into your dripping wetness, your muscles tightening up from the sudden intrusion. he looks up at you while kissing the inside of your leg, a sight that’s so fucking hot that you have to tell yourself not to get lost in it.

another surge of adrenaline rushes through you when he spreads your legs even wider, causing you to let out a broken moan, much to his satisfaction.

“you can pull on my hair. i like that.” he breathes out with a genuine smile and lust-blown eyes, refusing to wait for your reaction and getting right back to what he was doing.

it doesn’t take him long before he’s got you squirming above him. tugging his hair really does get him going, but you’re nearly at your limit, feeling the familiar feeling building up in your lower belly.

“gyu—fuck, ‘s too much, too much—” you try to push his wrist away and make him look up at you again.

you swear you might lose it when you see he’s actually pouting over the fact that you’re pulling him away from something he clearly enjoys doing.

“but, baby, i wanna make you cum.”

the pet name turns you on even more. “you can. i just want you inside of me, right now.”

he’s rising to his feet, towering over you with his tall frame as you push him back against the door, kissing his jaw, neck and collarbone while undoing the buttons of his white shirt.

mingyu is surprisingly vocal, which you thoroughly enjoy. his lips find yours again, relishing in the remaining taste of you on his tongue.

“god—want me to fuck you?”

pulling your dress over your head, you’re left in your matching set of lingerie that you just so conveniently put on tonight. “are you seriously asking me that right now?”

“fine. bend over the sink, then.”

the difference in his tone and words makes you shiver with excitement. once you do as he says, a new shot of adrenaline courses through your body — because you completely forgot about the mirror that’s now right in front of you.

so you’re able to watch him push his pants down, positioning himself behind you. his big hands are warm on your skin, the silver ring on his finger making you shiver.

his shirt is half unbuttoned, his hair a mess, trousers down to his ankles — but none of that matters now that he’s got you bent over in front of him, fingers trembling in excitement as he takes the condom from his pocket to slip it on.

all he can do is hiss and groan when he feels your heat wrap around him so nicely as he pushes into you. “you’re so tight, jesus—”

you huff. “not my fault you’re so big.”

it makes him laugh and simultaneously turns him on. “you’re all bite, even when i’m trying to fuck you.”

“don’t act like you don’t like it.”

he then finally bottoms out, both of you moaning, and he chuckles. “never said i didn’t.”

god, he’s so fucking attractive. he bites his lower lip as he throws his head back, his strokes slow but hard.

his girth feels so good inside you — and his touches are electric on your skin. his hands go from your ass to your hips, your stomach, everywhere.

and he’s certainly not afraid to get loud. especially when he feels you’re pushing your hips back against his. he’s convinced this is what heaven feels like.

“gyu, a little harder, please.” you plead, slightly beginning to struggle with holding yourself up by the edge of the sink.

“how hard d’you want it?”

“as hard as you want. i can take it.”

he gestures for you to turn over, lifting you up and pushing you up against the wall, burying himself inside you again before you can even comprehend it.

his fingers feel almost painful on your thighs with the way he’s digging into your skin. he’s sucking and biting right above your collarbone, leaving some pretty marks that will definitely be visible tomorrow.

you push his jaw upward so you can kiss him, and he sighs into it, tilting his head to get better access.

it’s like he’s trying to match his thrusts with your heartbeat at this point. pressure builds in your stomach when you whine his name. “oh my god—gyu—”

“i love it when you call me that,” he breathes out, so into it that he’s confessing everything on his mind, “you don’t know how much i’ve thought about this — been fantasizing about this for ages.”

you hold onto his shoulder blades, nails digging into them. “then you better make it worth my while.”

“such a brat.” he teases, a moan slipping out right after when you use your legs wrapped around his waist to push him deeper into you.

mingyu’s stamina is admirable — but he’s a simple man. you’re so hot and you just feel so good around him, and he knows he’s getting close to his release already.

you notice his pace becoming slightly uneven, his breaths erratic, a layer of cold sweat forming on his back.

he’s doing his best to hold out for you, to make you hit your peak first, but you actually need to see him come undone first.

“are you gonna cum, gyu?”

you have to refrain from biting your lip when he’s stuttering out a response. “n—no, not yet—”

“i want you to.”

“jesus, don’t say that—”

oh, he’s cute. he’s responding so well to your words, so you indulge in it a little bit more.

“wanna fuck me again later? without a condom? you can cum inside me. i’ll let you do anything you want.” you tease — your words being the complete truth, because if he’d want to fuck you again, you’d sure as shit let him.

his brows scrunch upwards while he lets out another whine. “anything?”

“mhm,” you nod, “anything.”

his fantasies about you, the way you’re looking at him, the things you’re saying, the way you suddenly clench around him — it’s all too much. his release spills into the condom, his muscles flexing from the sudden rush of adrenaline shooting through him.

it’s enough to make your legs tremble, and you reach the climax you’ve been aching for.

he’s still coming down from his high, face buried in the crook of your neck when he hears you chuckle. “so much for being friends, huh?”

he then smiles as well. “are we close enough for you to consider me as your friend now?”

“you’re quite literally inside me.”

“knowing you, that doesn’t really have to change anything.”

“oh, is that so?” you retort at his cheekiness. “sure. you’ve made it to friend level 1. congrats.”

“great. level 2 is next, then.”

“god, forget i said anything.”

“no going back now. you’re stuck with me.”

something’s very clearly changed between you since that night. mingyu has, in a certain way, changed your relationship.

because you’ve successfully upgraded from strangers to fuck buddies.

and truth be told, he wants to rip his fucking hair out.

the sex is great. there’s something thrilling and exciting about your secret relationship, both of you skipping lectures and sneaking away after classes with no one around you having a single clue.

and yet he’s come to the conclusion that this isn’t what he wants.

he wants you. all of you, completely. but every time he tries to get even remotely close to you, you somehow manage to dodge it and change the topic.

it bothers him. but he’s scared to just put all his feelings on a platter — because he doesn’t want to lose whatever he has with you.

something he’s also discovered is how utterly weak he is for even the slightest bit of your attention, the smallest of touches.

so when he’s typing away at his laptop in the study hall, noticing the screen of his phone light up as a message from you comes in, he can’t bring himself to ignore it.

20:23: you look cute when you’re focused

the message makes him frown, and he looks around, trying to figure out where you are, since you’ve clearly got your eyes on him.

so he texts back.

20:24: i always look cute ;)

tapping his fingers on the table, he waits for your response. the three buttons that indicate you’re typing suddenly go away, and he pouts, only to then be greeted by your voice close to his ear. “bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

“fuckin’—” it almost makes him jump and screech out of shock. “christ, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

you chuckle at his high-pitched reaction. “bad conscience?”

“no. you’re just scary.”

“thank you.” you grin with pride, moving to sit on the table, right beside his laptop. “you busy?”

“just going over some older lecture notes to prep for an exam.”

“wanna come over to my dorm?”

“fourth time this week. what’s gotten into you? well, aside from me, obviously.”

“hilarious. really.” you remark, watching him laugh at his own joke, unable to help the smile rising to your cheeks. “what can i say? it’s a great stress reliever.”

“i know. give me a sec and i’ll pack my things.”

as he closes up his laptop and textbooks, you look around the other tables — which are mostly empty, except for the one by the window, which is where you notice a girl shooting you a bit of a weird look once you make eye contact with her.

“mingyu.”

“hm?”

“the chick by the window with the shitty earrings. you know her?”

he subtly looks into the direction of said window, recognizing the girl from his advanced statistics class. “yeah, i have a class with her. can’t really remember her name though. why?”

“she likes you.”

“oh.” he just shrugs, continuing to zip up his bag, standing up from his seat. “i didn’t notice.”

“sure.” you chuckle sarcastically.

that makes him raise a brow. he feigns shock, causing you to look at him.

“what?”

“you’re jealous.”

“excuse me?” you monotonously ask, brows furrowing in disdain.

“it’s actually kinda hot.”

“oh, please. i have nothing to be jealous of.”

“and yet you are.”

“either you shut your ass up or i’ll find someone else to relieve my stress, kim.”

he laughs and you roll your eyes. then he slings his bag over his shoulder, his hands in his pockets as he follows you out of the study hall.

as soon as you’ve entered your dorm room, he’s got you pressed against the wall, nipping at your skin. he makes you feel sickeningly good, putting your former boyfriends to shame — you’re certainly not complaining.

once he’s done with you and you’re completely worn out, you lay with your head on his chest, his fingers softly stroking your naked back.

you seem more on edge than usual today. less playful. tired, even. his voice sounds hesitant when he speaks up. “is everything okay? you look stressed.”

“i’m fine.”

he figures you either don’t want to open up or you simply don’t feel comfortable doing so with him, so he chooses not to pry, opting to let you know he’s there for you. “okay. well, if you need anything, someone to talk to, you can always come to me.”

you frown a little. refusing to act impulsively, you swallow your words, not saying a thing.

mingyu takes your silence as his cue to leave you be. a feeling of unease creeps into his body, and the room suddenly feels smaller than before.

so he gently moves away from you, sitting up to put his clothes back on. “i should probably go. wonwoo will be pissed off if i don’t have the kitchen cleaned up once he gets back.”

he’s buttoning his jeans when you speak up behind him, admitting your reasons for feeling more stressed than usual. “i’ve got two exams next week. they’re extremely important, i have to pass them, i just… i can’t focus for some reason.”

when he turns around, you’re not facing him. he leans against the tabletop, looking at you. “anything in particular that’s bothering you?”

“i don’t know. it’s just…” you shrug your shoulders a little, unsure of how to explain it, “i guess i haven’t been feeling great in my own skin lately, even though i don’t actually have a reason for it.”

“maybe i can help you study. could work as a nice motivator.”

“gyu—” you chuckle a little to reject him politely, but he sees it coming at this point, persisting.

“why don’t we just try it? if you don’t feel like doing it again, then, fine. we can always just restrict our activities to solely physical stuff again.”

“do you even have the time to help me?”

he’s smiling, able to tell you’re thinking about it. “are you kidding? i can do anything.”

“always so humble.”

“yeah, that’s why you like me so much.” he laughs. “that’s why i’m your friend.”

“whatever makes you sleep at night.”

mingyu wasn’t kidding when he said he wanted to help you, nor when he mentioned he wanted you two to be closer.

he’s putting in effort to make you like him, that’s for sure. buying you coffees and snacks, offering to study with you whenever you mention difficult topics you have to cram for exams — he’s certainly establishing his presence in your daily life.

and you hate how easily you get used to it.

for whatever reason, you haven’t had sex since that day either. you’re pretty sure he wants to prove that he likes you for you and not just your body.

which is sweet. but you also have needs, and they’re worse now, knowing he can fulfill them extremely well, as he’s proved many times at this point.

so you text him to ask if he wants to come over later.

as he’s seated at a picnic table on the campus square, he notices your text, grabbing his phone to respond to you.

“your girlfriend texting you again?”

mingyu looks up at joshua, who’s sitting across from him with a pen in hand. he shakes his head. “not my girlfriend.”

“she might as well be.”

“she doesn’t like me enough to be.”

shua wouldn’t call himself nosy, but he’s determined to get a better idea of what exactly is going on between you. “what’s up with you and her?”

“it’s complicated.” his friend responds, eyes narrowing from the rays of sunlight. “i’m not even sure, honestly.”

joshua has this ability to pry people’s hearts open and let their feelings pour out without breaking a sweat — how easily he does it should be studied.

“are you friends with benefits or something? situationship?”

ironically, those words are the complete opposite of what you and him are. mingyu huffs out of frustration, voicing his thoughts. “she doesn’t like it when i call her my friend, she appears to have an exceedingly low daily quota of emotions, i’m busting my ass off to get my own assignments done and spend as much time with her as i can and i’m pretty sure she doesn’t even like me. at all. worst part being that i like her, shua. i like her.”

“have you told her you like her?”

“sort of. in a friendly way. she just glared at me.”

joshua finds mingyu’s inner torment a little amusing, but he feels for him. “maybe she’ll warm up to you. give it a while, she’s a tough nut to crack.”

“is she open with you?”

“sort of. i don’t think there’s a single soul out there she’s completely open with.” he sucks on the inside of his cheek for a second. “she has mentioned in the past that she’s actually very sensitive but just doesn’t, like, really express it. and you gotta keep in mind that people show love and affection differently. give it time.”

mingyu takes a breath as he thinks over the words.

give it time.

which he does. he notices you’re gradually getting closer to him over the course of time, still not showing too much — but it feels different. you choose to sit with him more often than not when you meet up with the other guys, you’re spending a lot of time with him, and you’re showing initiative to make time for him. every time he lands in your bed, it feels more intimate than ever.

you’re starting to make him feel like he matters to you. his crush on you is getting out of hand to the point he needs to stop himself from gazing at you every time you look him in the eye.

just like right now. you’re smiling at him over something he can’t remember — it’s a genuine smile, he cherishes those every time you flash him one as they’re rare — and you just look so pretty.

a text message from one of the guys on the football team pulls him out of it. which sparks an idea in him.

“hey, i have a football game coming up this saturday. do you wanna come? you could finally see me in action.” he asks. when he notices the puzzled look on your face, he tilts his head. “oh, come on. friendship works both ways, you know that, right? team effort and all that jazz.”

his wording makes you chuckle. “fine. i’ll be there.”

“you won’t regret it. our team is great.”

“really? then you better prove it. can’t be cheering for the losing team.”

with a raised brow, he points at you. “wanna bet?”

“what do you have in mind?”

he considers his options for a moment. “if my team wins, i get to choose what we do in bed next time. as long as you’re into it too, obviously. if the opposite team wins, you get to choose.”

now that’s an offer you’re certainly not gonna reject. taking on the challenge, you nod. “alright. deal.”

he shakes your hand ever so professionally, gathering his books since he needs to get to class. “oh, and, just so you know — my team’s won regional championships for the past two years in a row. i’m just saying.”

you tilt your head. he winks at you before walking away from the table, and you smile to yourself.

damn that asshole for making you like him this much.

saturday arrives, and you find yourself walking by the green football fields, surprised by the amount of people who showed up.

mingyu mentioned he was heading here earlier so you just told him you’d be there, sitting with the crowd.

it seems like it’s going to be a cold-weather match today. it’s already dark out, and the rain just started coming down from the sky. you’re glad the bleachers come with shade canopies so at least you won’t be soaked by the time the game is over.

your eyes are fixed on mingyu’s back as he stands by the sidelines with the rest of his team, enthusiastically discussing what’s most likely gonna be their strategy for the game.

then he turns around, still very engaged in the conversation, the wet strands of his hair framing his facial features. gosh, he’s incredibly handsome.

before running out onto the field, he looks back at the bleachers, scanning the masses before his eyes lock with yours.

he ever so dramatically makes a little heart with his fingers, teasingly motioning it towards you, and you put your middle finger up, making him laugh.

mingyu’s a real sweetheart, you have to admit. he’s growing on you.

watching the game is more fun than you anticipated. despite not being into football all that much, it’s great to watch the boys work together as well as they do.

you’re certainly not complaining when mingyu throws his vest on the bench halfway through the match, leaving him in a black compression shirt, emphasizing his strong figure.

shit. maybe you should watch him play more often.

it’s his team that seems to be on the winning side tonight — until the opposing team scores ten minutes before the end. both teams have the same score now, which is bad. ending with a draw would suck.

you’re now completely sucked into the game like the rest of the audience, desperate for mingyu’s team to score another goal.

the universe must be on their side today, because they do. three minutes left on the clock and none other than jeon wonwoo himself is able to kick the ball into the net, escaping the hands of the keeper.

it’s all yells of happiness on the field.

the referee blows his whistle to call the end of the game. everyone at your side of the bleachers stands up from their seats, yourself included, to cheer and clap for the boys, happy that they won the game.

you watch them congratulate eachother, some of their friends walking onto the field to do the same.

following the masses, you also leave your seat in the bleachers, walking down the stairs.

mingyu notices you coming his way and runs over to you, surprising you by lifting you up, giving you arguably the best hug you’ve ever had in your whole damn life. he holds onto you so tightly, his big arms and tall frame caging you in — in the best way possible.

when he gently puts you back down, his one hand briefly finds your cheek, which catches you off guard, but you don’t shy away from it.

he’s so tempted to just say fuck it and kiss you right now. you look so pretty, and your eyes — your eyes. he could stare into them forever and love every second of it.

but there’s too much at stake to get impulsive. “thanks for coming.”

“you’re welcome.” you blankly respond, making him smile a little.

“how did i do? good enough for your standards?”

you shrug at him, taking a brief look at his teammates celebrating in the distance behind him. “i was mostly focused on wonwoo, actually, but you were doing a good job too.”

he rolls his eyes before making a sarcastic comment. “you’re hilarious.”

“something i’m very aware of.”

he fake smiles at you, and you reciprocate the gesture, patting him on the shoulder.

“wanna go catch a drink with me?”

“don’t you wanna celebrate with the rest of the team?”

“not tonight.” he shakes his head. “i just gotta go get my bag. come with me?”

he intertwines his fingers with yours and you hardly notice it. which is bizarre if you consider how you had no relationship with him to begin with several months ago. “okay, yeah.”

you head to the men’s locker room with him, which is dark and empty. all the other guys are still out on the field, as you noticed when you were walking over here.

“the lights haven’t been working since yesterday, so watch your step.” mingyu tells you. the rays of moonlight coming through the high windows are enough to at least light up the room enough for you to see where you’re going.

you suddenly get an idea. “do you think the guys are gonna be out there for long?”

“they usually do. ten minutes, give or take.” he answers absentmindedly while taking his black duffel bag out of the locker with his name on it.

once he turns around, you push him back against the locker, taking him by the surprise, your finger pulling at the elastic waistband of his pants and boxers.

“i give credit where it’s due, you know.”

oh. oh. he only then understands what you’re getting at.

you always manage to make him a little nervous somehow — he lives for it. “in public? here? we could go back to your—oh, shit—”

you make him stutter the moment your hand moves underneath his clothes to take a hold of his dick. “but you’re already hard, gyu.”

christ. you’ve got some nerve, putting up that soft and sweet voice as if you’re not fucking responsible for getting him hard in the first place.

he doesn’t protest when you sink to your knees in front of him, pulling his boxers down his thick thighs, his cock springing free.

you grin a little to yourself before taking him in your mouth. he’s so hot like this, all hard and panting and begging.

“h—holy shit, that feels good.” he gasps, the warm sensation of your mouth making him go dizzy.

his hand moves to the back of your head. you take him as much as you can, using your hands for the part you can’t take. he slowly becomes a mess, his head resting against the locker.

you look up at him when he’s shamelessly moaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around him, his hands subconsciously pushing your head just a little bit forward, making you take just that little bit more of his cock.

arousal begins to pool between your legs, and you suddenly curse yourself for choosing to wear jeans instead of a skirt tonight.

“fuck, fuck, baby—”

you release him with a pop, a mix of spit and his arousal coating your lips. “wanna taste everything. can’t make a mess here.”

it’s such a shame he’s still wearing his clothes. his stomach caves in so nicely whenever you’re sucking him off — like he can’t catch his breath. it’s the best thing you’ve ever seen.

his legs are trembling, and he’s embarrasingly close to his release already. “you don’t—ah—have to do this here if you don’t want to—”

“‘m not leaving ‘til you cum down my throat, gyu. you can do that, though, right?”

he nods, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows, his voice all soft and submissive. he can’t help it. “yeah, yeah, i’ll do whatever you want, baby.”

“good boy.” you tell him, entirely unaware of the effect it has on him.

the moment you hollow your cheeks, it’s over for him. the salty taste of his release sits in your mouth before you swallow it, and his chest heaves while he pulls himself together.

both your eyes widen when you suddenly hear the voices outside getting closer, and mingyu knows it’s time to get the fuck out of here. he quickly pulls his pants back up, his bag in his one hand and your hand in the other as he drags you with him to take the back exit before anyone can notice either of you.

you both take a breather outside as you lean against the wall of the building before you burst into laughter together. he feels on top of fucking cloud nine, if he’s being truthful.

“you’re insane.” he laughs, looking to the side to find you laughing and blushing at the same time. “you’re blushing? after doing that? wow. who are you and what have you done with my friend?”

“you’re getting special treatment, you know. i don’t suck off my other friends.” you tease, shrugging your shoulders.

maybe he should consider pursuing a theatre career with the way he dramatically puts his hand over his heart. “does this mean i made it to friend level 2?”

“you did. now you’ve been downgraded back to level 1, though. what’re you gonna do about it?”

he plays along with you. “well, shit. can’t have that. we can go get a burger with fries at that place near campus. my treat?”

“sounds good.” the words have left your mouth and that big smile is right on his face again. you playfully push his shoulder, cheeks hurting from the smile on yours.

he’s getting closer to you than you anticipated, and that’s not a good thing, but for now, you tell yourself it’ll be fine. how much closer could he possibly get?

another month passes by when, for the first time in a while, mingyu doesn’t drop by your dorm. he doesn’t text, doesn’t call — and you find yourself worried about him.

it’s been nothing but complete radio silence from his end, which isn’t a good sign.

you’ve already left him several voicemails when chan lets you know he’s been having a terrible fever for the past two days. it leaves you with the urge to go and check up on him, so once you’ve had all your classes for the day, you find yourself knocking on his door.

it takes a moment for him to answer it, wonwoo seemingly not present in the dorm.

when mingyu opens the door, surprise is painted across his face, the heavy bags under his eyes making him seem awfully tired. shit, you hope you didn’t wake him. he’s wearing a plain white shirt with thin black pyjama pants, his hair an utter mess.

the surprise on his face is gone once you open your mouth. “you look like shit.”

he snorts at your words. “would you say that to me if i were on my deathbed, too?”

“absolutely.”

he smiles at your attitude, finding it strangely refreshing. “wanna come in? i promise i’ll stay at a distance so you won’t get it.”

you didn’t think he was going to invite you in, but you accept the offer nonetheless. “i was wondering why you didn’t call. then chan told me you were sick.”

he shuts the door behind you. “yeah, i’ve been sleeping, mostly. watched some netflix too but it quickly gives headaches. i’m sorry for not letting you know — didn’t think you were worried.”

you pause for a moment. “well. you thought wrong. friends worry, don’t they?”

the words make him smile. he didn’t think you cared all that much about him for some reason — this changes that. “fair. what’s in the bowl?”

he’s referring to the black bowl covered in foil you have clutched between your arms. you shrug. “soup. i don’t know if you already had some, but it worked wonders for me when i was sick a while back, so… yeah. i figured you could use it.”

his face lights up when he realizes you went out your way to make this for him. with gratitude, he accepts the bowl. “thank you, i appreciate it. looks really good. you can sit by my desk if you want to, by the way.”

as he’s walking across the room, you notice the mishap in his steps, like he’s about to lose his balance. “are you okay?”

“yeah, ‘s just—i’m a little dizzy.”

your hands find his shoulders — a touch that feels heavy compared to the usual skin-to-skin contact you share with him — to put him down on his bed. “don’t force it. if you’re about to faint, you might as well be lying down.”

his lids hang low, eyes nearly closed when you pull the covers over his body. you touch his cheeks and forehead with the back of your hand to get an indication of his temperature.

as soon as you’re about to tell him he probably has a light fever, it seems he’s already half asleep. you pull the covers up to his chest to ensure he’s comfortable.

you gaze at him for a moment as he snores softly, biting your lip as you curse yourself for giving him a treatment he doesn’t deserve.

maybe mingyu likes to think he doesn’t wear his heart on his sleeve, but that’s far from the truth. even you have noticed he’s been looking at you a certain way recently, and that’s saying something.

one look at him and you’re already feeling like a big softie. it’s ridiculous.

you’re scared of what you feel for him, but as long as you can keep your relationship like this, it’ll be fine.

now that he’s asleep, you wander around his room. you know wonwoo must be at football practice, since mingyu is normally there with him at this time of the week.

you usually take him to your dorm, so you’re not in his all that often. your eyes rake across the framed pictures of his friends, family, loved ones, memories he’s made.

they stop, though, when recognizing yourself in one of the pictures. he promised you he’d frame one up as a way of ‘solidifying your friendship’ as he so politely put it.

still, you didn’t think he’d actually do it.

smiling to yourself, you proceed to notice his laptop screen is still on. he must’ve been working on something when you knocked on his door.

out of curiosity, you check the screen, figuring he was working on the essay he’s been postponing for two weeks because he had difficulty getting started.

you take a look at the assignment and decide you’re gonna try to do it for him. luckily, the necessary paragraphs that ought to be studied beforehand and referenced in the essay itself came with the mail, so that makes everything a lot easier.

when mingyu wakes up hours later, he finds himself alone in his room. you’re gone, though he notices the glass of water on his nightstand has been refilled, his laptop is flipped open, and there’s a sticky note attached to it.

slowly, he rubs his eyes and moves toward the desk to grab the laptop before sitting back against the pillows.

you must’ve written something on the note, he figures.

‘hopefully the essay is up to the standards of your class. i did it in a separate document so you can just get rid of the whole thing if it’s not what you want it to be. let me know if you need anything else. x’

he frowns, turning the device on to see what you worked on — and the screen lights up, only for him to realize you wrote the essay due for tomorrow. and with a few of his own additions here and there, it’s good enough to submit, which is impressive for someone who’s not actually taking the class.

and right now, all he can do is smile at his screen like an idiot.

you’re at the university skating rink when you hear someone calling your name from the bleachers.

looking up with a frown, you suddenly notice a tall man sprinting your way, so you skate towards him. “mingyu, what the hell are you doing here?”

“i got 87/100 for the essay. for the one class i hate. you’re a genius.” he exclaims, absolutely beaming at you.

you suddenly remember doing the essay for him, snorting at his reaction. “so i’ve heard. good to see you’re doing better.”

“is there anything i can do in return?”

“don’t worry. i like writing essays. besides, you already helped me out plenty of times. it was the least i could do.”

the words coming out of your mouth hardly match your facial expression, but he finds he’s gotten used to it now. he understands you better than ever before. “you know how you said i’d get nothing out of a friendship with you?” he recalls, biting his lip for a moment, “you were wrong.”

a mere chuckle escapes you. “right. you get top-notch essays and bowls of chicken soup.”

your comment was sarcastic, but he remains serious. “you’re wonderful, you know that?”

it’s not often people use a word like that to describe you. it feels weird hearing it, but your attitude remains the same. “am i?”

“yeah, you are,” he nods, pushing out more compliments, “and i’m glad to have you in my life.”

the playful expression on your face falters — like a glitch occurring in your system. mingyu is starting to break through your hard exterior remarkably easily, and that’s beginning to scare you a little.

he leaves without saying another word, but the look on his face is enough to tell that he’s feeling the tension too. whatever relationship you have is becoming more intimate by day, most definitely passing the friendship it was supposed to be, and to you, that is very alarming.

and you suddenly refuse to let it go any further.

whenever he texts you, you either tell him you don’t have the time to come over or nothing at all. you avoid him like the plague, ensure not to go to social gatherings if he’s going be there and stay well away from all the places you and him studied together. it hurts, because you do miss him, yet you manage to keep it up.

but you can only do so much. unfortunately, mingyu is smarter than you hoped.

after two weeks of you avoiding him, he decides he’s had enough.

when you’re almost about to leave the dorm for your lecture, you hear someone knocking on your door. you open it to find him standing there, and he walks right by you, not bothering to ask whether he can come in.

“why have you been avoiding me?”

“i gotta leave for my lecture, i don’t have time for this.”

“so make the time.” he says sternly, jaw clenched. “answer the question.”

“i haven’t been avoiding you.”

“sure. so it’s a coincidence you suddenly stopped talking to me?”

you huff in frustration and close the door, leaning with your back against it. “no, it isn’t.”

he raises his hands in defeat. “so, why?”

“it’s been fun. i don’t know. but you’ve proved what you wanted to prove, so… good for you. we can both move on now.” you shrug, hardly sounding convinced of your own words.

“you’re lying.” he breathes out, scoffing to himself. he’s baffled that you think he’d consider it believable at all. “four months ago, i would’ve bought that. but not now.”

“believe what you wanna believe. i don’t really care.” you give him the cold shoulder, attempting to open the door so you can leave, but he immediately shuts it to stop you from doing so.

“don’t bullshit me. you care. i don’t know why the fuck you’re so hellbent on not admitting that, but it’s the truth.”

he’s beginning to get on your nerves. “what fucking answers are you even here for? since you claim to know everything that’s going on inside my head already.”

it’s then that he starts to show how genuinely upset he is at you pushing him away. “what makes me so different from the other guys? joshua, seokmin, chan—all of them. why is it so easy for you to be close with them but not with me?”

“because you keep trying to get closer to me! from day one, you’ve been saying you wanna be friends with me like the rest of them, but your actions don’t line up with that.”

“so what? i like you and i’m pretty damn sure you like me too.” his voice is softer, face closer to yours, those brown eyes of his working their way straight to your heart. “what are you so afraid of?”

either you’re imagining things or he’s leaning in to kiss you. his lips are so close before you feel them on yours, a sensation you missed like nothing else.

your fingers touch the back of his neck. it’s hard not to get lost in the feeling of his mouth on yours, the smell of his cologne making it even harder.

kissing mingyu is the closest you’ll ever get to heaven, but right now, all it’s making you feel is guilt and shame.

so you pull yourself away from him, breaking the kiss, hands feeling heavy on his chest. “close the door on your way out.” you whisper, leaving him alone in your dorm.

he stands perplexed in his place for a moment, pinching the bridge of his nose, processing what just happened.

“fuck.”

it’s been a week, and he hasn’t called nor texted you since that conversation. you assume that he’s decided to move on.

which is understandable. if you were him, you’d be done with it too.

it feels strange to be going about your day without him dropping by or talking to you. like he left a void you’re unable to fill. and it hurts — you miss him.

you’re having lunch with seokmin and minghao in the cafeteria when he’s suddenly standing in front of you by the table. “i just got a call from the gallery manager — we’ve got it to ourselves this friday evening!”

minghao smiles widely, the sweet sound of his excited laughter intriguing the rest of you. he turns his head to explain. “me and mingyu have been trying to rent the gallery to put our work on display. apparently, it was just confirmed we managed to pull it off.”

hao is a passionate painter — mingyu a photographer. their love for art is one of the things that binds them together, and they’ve mentioned wanting to have their own exhibit for a few months now. despite the things that have happened, you’re happy for them.

“that’s great! we can come, right?” seokmin asks, already grabbing his phone to put it in his agenda.

“yeah, you guys better.” minghao answers, his gaze shifting to you. “you have to come too. you’re free, right?”

he’s aware of things between you and mingyu being tense right now — though he doesn’t know why — but he still thinks it’d be good for you and him to see each other.

your eyes meet mingyu’s for the first time since your last conversation a week ago, and hao follows your actions, looking at him as well.

mingyu subtly looks away, hoping his friend didn't catch him staring at you. before he can utter the words he wants to say, you tilt your head, already speaking up. “sure. i'll be there.”

he unintentionally gives you a puzzled look, and you pop a piece of gum in your mouth, looking at your wrist as if there’s a watch there.

there isn’t. “won’t you look at the time. i’ll see you guys later.”

they briefly say bye to you, very much used to the way you dismiss yourself, and mingyu watches the interaction as if it’s the first time witnessing it — as if he hasn’t known you to be like this for several months.

he watches you walk out of the cafeteria, confronted by his two friends staring at him. “what?”

“you’re deep in it.” minghao remarks. “when are you guys finally gonna admit that you wanna be together?”

“it’s not that easy.”

seokmin frowns, connecting the dots before gasping. “wait. you and her are a thing? since when? why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

the other two just deadpan a stare at him.

on friday night, you attend the art exhibit. you know he’s been working hard on the collection, and you certainly figured you were gonna be confronted with mingyu as well, but this is one gathering you couldn’t afford to miss. so you choose to try and forget the drama for one night.

you’re wearing a little black dress with lacy tights and sleek ankle boots, an outfit you feel nice in.

the gallery is buzzing with friends of the artists as well as people who frequent the place whenever a new exhibit is up. perhaps some pieces will be sold tonight.

as you’re passing some of mingyu’s framed photos, you hear his familiar voice behind you.

“i was surprised when you agreed to come.”

when you turn your head, he’s standing there with his hands in the pockets of his fitted black pants, the deep cut of his white blouse exposing just a bit more of his upper chest than usual, a silver chain sitting all pretty on his neck and collarbones.

personally, you find it’s relatively rare to find men with good taste in fashion, but he’s definitely got it. he looks good. really good.

biting your lip, you give him nothing but a cool response. “came to see if you were any good.”

“and? what’s your judgement?”

“haven’t made up my mind yet.” your tone turns into a more teasing one, seeing as he appears considerably less hostile than you. “does my judgement really matter that much, though?”

he nods so quickly, almost as if he were hypnotized by you. “more than you know.”

him showing you affection actually makes your heart shatter. he’s so genuine in it too — and you just don’t know what to do with all that love he so easily gives you.

people pass you left and right, completely unaware of the heavy feeling currently bubbling inside your chest. you’re crumbling under his gaze and he fucking feels it.

and this situation is precisely the one thing you were so afraid of. you know he knows how to poke into your heart, he knows when you’re lying to him, he knows when you’re upset or hurt — and the idea that there’s someone out there who can see all of that just by looking at you utterly terrifies you.

in moments like these, your expression doesn’t gradually change. it falls hard and quick, sometimes very visibly, just like right now. the blank stare is gone, your lips parting, eyes blinking erratically — it’s like you received a slap to the face.

“your photography is beautiful, mingyu. you’re talented, but you didn’t need me to tell you that.” your voice breaks in the middle of your sentence and you leave him behind, heading into the ladies’ room, hoping he won’t follow you.

you exhale when he doesn’t.

knowing it’s way too early to leave, you pull yourself together, and once you get out of the bathroom, you make it your mission to avoid him for the rest of the night. if that means talking to god knows how many new people, so be it.

minghao’s paintings are beautiful. you’re in awe of his talent as you walk past his artworks, admiring each of them.

as the evening nears its end, the artist himself comes up to you with that gentle smile he often wears. “so, what do you think? do i have potential?”

“are you kidding? you’ve got more than just potential. these are gorgeous. you should be proud of them.”

he thanks you, his hands sitting in the pockets of his trousers. “what’d you do to mingyu?”

you cross your arms over your chest. “why’re you assuming i did something?”

“because he’s been looking like a kicked puppy for the past few weeks, and i heard you and him suddenly stopped hanging out, so...”

taking a deep breath, you shake your head to yourself. “honestly, i’m not even sure what happened between us. it came out of nowhere.”

minghao keeps his eyes on you even when you look away. “he came out of nowhere and you started liking him.”

the comment makes your eyes widen, but you don’t bother hiding the truth from him. he might be the most trustworthy guy you know. “yeah. so i pushed him away.”

he’s aware of your fear of letting people in beyond a certain extent. “what did he do?”

you could cry, honestly. your face is blank — your voice trembles. “he said he was happy to have me in his life. god, i’m so fucking insecure.”

hao softly rubs over your shoulder blade for a second, a gesture you appreciate. he shrugs. “you’re not obligated to do something you don’t wanna do. but talking about it is better than leaving it unsaid. gyu’s a good guy. he’ll understand it, but only if you give him the chance to.”

with that sentiment, he leaves you be, and you rub your arms, staring at the painting that’s currently in front of you, only to realize it’s about two lovers.

there’s a thin line between laughing and crying. you feel like you’re somewhere in the middle right now.

“christ, i need a fucking drink.” you mutter to yourself, running a hand through your hair.

“mind if i join you?”

of course. why are you even surprised?

without looking him in the eye, you respond to his question with one of your own. “sure you want my company?”

“beats going drinking alone.” mingyu shrugs next to you.

you let out a sarcastic chuckle at that. “whatever you say.”

luckily for you, the nearest bar is around the block. the walk there is quiet. you’re not sure what to say to him, and you feel him subtly looking your way.

he holds the door open for you to go in first. the place is not all that crowded yet, only a few tables occupied, probably because it’s still relatively early in the evening.

since no one else is seated by the bar top, you choose to head to one of the high stools there, ordering two shots of vodka before even sitting down.

the bartender puts two shot glasses in front of you and pours the liquid in both until they’re completely filled. mingyu looks at you as he picks up the small glass, and you just lightly tilt your head as a toast.

his facial expression is as bitter as the alcohol burning in his throat. he hates the way you look at him — like you don’t give a fuck about him.

you look down at your glass. you still haven’t exchanged a single word since leaving the gallery. what the hell are you even supposed to say? you didn’t want to be here with him in the first place.

liar. the little voice in your head creeps in.

the silence feels as painful as trailing your nails down a chalkboard. surprisingly, it’s you who ends up speaking first.

“if you’re trying to make the situation more awkward, you’re succeeding.”

“i’m just trying to find the words. don’t know where to start.”

your voice is hostile and sharp as a blade. “then don’t.”

of course you’re aware you’re being mean. but it’s to serve a purpose. every time you show this side of you, people always leave. better sooner than later, right?

mingyu, instead of feeling insulted by your attitude, looks at you as if he’s deciphering a puzzle. “i will. because i care.”

that makes you remain quiet. you just scoff instead, not knowing what to say next. he shifts in his seat to be able to look at him better — you do the exact opposite, turning your face away from him.

“can i ask you something?”

you don’t actually respond, save for the blank stare you give him. which he takes as a yes.

“you not showing much… is it a front you put up or something you just do?”

an interesting question — one you actually have to think about. “the latter. having a resting bitch face doesn’t really help my case, i guess. but i also enjoy keeping people in the dark a bit. can’t have everyone showing everything.”

“why not?”

blinking at him for a moment, you gently smile at him. it’s not a genuine one. “do you wanna know why you feel at a disadvantage right now?”

“because your alcohol tolerance is better than mine?”

“because you can’t tell what i’m thinking.”

he then puts his chin up to look at you better. you tilt your head a little, as if you were following his gaze, and he feels like he’s on the right track here.

“maybe i kinda like that disadvantage.” he suggests, but you shake your head knowingly.

“no, you don’t.”

“how would you know?”

you suck at the inside of your cheek for a moment, taking a breath. “my mom once said to me that it bothered her she couldn’t tell what i was thinking.” you pout your lips as if you’re thinking about it. “i told her i liked that. being an open book is my worst nightmare.”

“why?”

“putting your thoughts and feelings on display make you vulnerable. being vulnerable makes you weak.”

“so you think it’s better to isolate your feelings completely — discuss them with no one? ever?”

“unless it’s necessary, yes. besides, feelings aren’t black and white. do you know how difficult it is to convey them through words, let alone getting the person at the other end of the line to actually understand them?”

mingyu looks—no, gazes at you. “how will you know if you don’t try?”

“how do you know i haven’t? you think you’re the first person who’s tried to get close to me like this?” you ask, tilting your head. “speaking of which, i’ve been having a real hard time trying to figure out what it is you want from me. i’m not buying the whole ‘i-just-wanna-be-friends’ façade. never did. i thought it was the sex, but i initiated it more often than you did.”

“it wasn’t for the sex.” he shrugs his shoulders. “i like you.”

“so you’ve mentioned. since when?”

“since… always.”

“we never even talked before soonyoung’s party.”

“no, but i liked you.”

“bullshit.” you fire back at him, scoffing sarcastically. “i’m hardly likeable — nothing i’m insecure about. just a plain fact.”

“and yet i like you a lot. must be shocking.” he jests, the vaguest hint of a rising smirk on his face. “do you like me?”

“i can’t stand you,��� you reach out to push his chin upwards so he looks up at you, only realizing how physically comfortable you’ve become with him after doing so, “but at least you’ve got a pretty face to make up for it.”

it’s unbelievable, mingyu thinks to himself. the way you keep teasing him, keep being a little mean to him, and he just eats it all up.

every moment he spends with you has him wondering what on earth it is about you that draws him in so much.

but, fuck, he just can’t get enough.

another shot is poured into your glasses, which you take between your thumb and index finger, nodding at him so he’ll take his.

the liquid burns in his throat, making him feel hot, and you get awfully turned on when you notice the way he wipes off the drops that accidentally ran down his chin.

“i think i’ve got you all figured out.”

his bold statement and matching attitude has you raising your shoulders. “oh yeah? go on. try me, i’m curious.”

the words tumble from his lips as if they’re part of a monologue he’s been rehearsing for weeks. “you feel so much, express so little. i bet it must be hard to keep up with your own mind sometimes. i think you often feel judged and misunderstood because of your attitude, but you don’t mind that much, since you prefer a smaller circle anyways. you simply don’t like wearing your heart on your sleeve, but it’d be a big mistake to think you don’t have one — and honestly, i’d do anything to be close to it.”

it’s not often you’re speechless.

he describes you almost perfectly, and your body language subconsciously changes, confident and playful demeanor gone — the cold and distant side of your personality coming out again.

“good job,” you tell him softly, moving to grab a few bucks from your wallet to pay for the drinks, “i guess i should say congratulations. you know what makes me tick. that means we’re done here, right?”

he finally spots the shift in your behavior. “wait—”

“have a good night, gyu.”

you curse yourself for accidentally using the nickname as you walk out of the bar, putting your coat on, feeling raindrops on your hair and skin once you get outside.

as you’re trying to make yourself remember where the nearest metro stop is, you hear him utter your name behind you. “what did i do? was it something i said?”

letting impulsivity get to you for once, you scoff, muttering a response. “it was everything you said.”

“why?” he asks, the tension running thicker. “why won’t you just let me in, for once? just this time?”

you hate how desperate he sounds — you hate how much it’s tugging at your heartstrings.

“why do you even want me to?”

“‘cause i like you.”

“no, you don’t. you just like whatever chase this is, just a little fun to keep things interesting for you.”

“has it ever crossed your mind that maybe i like you for you?”

“i’ve given you no reason to like me.”

“what, you think that no one out there will like you unless you act differently?”

his words feel like a growing tear in your heart. your self-esteem is so ridiculously low that it makes you believe no one would love you if you were to be unapologetically yourself — and hearing someone say it out loud hurts.

mingyu watches as the emotion flashes through your eyes, one of the few glimpses of what you feel underneath that cold exterior.

“it’s not true,” he says before you attempt to answer, “because you… being around you makes me happy. when i’m not with you, i think of when i’ll see you next. you matter to me.”

you’re not sure what’s worse — the fact that you reciprocate his feelings or the words that are coming out of your mouth.

“you’d do best to try and get rid of that feeling.”

but he knows there’s more lingering behind your words. “tell me you don’t feel the same way.”

“what i feel means nothing.” you state, voice laced with hurt, though not from his words. “let it go.”

“why don’t you wanna try?”

“because it’d be a disaster. for both of us.”

“c’mon,” he pleads, gently touching your fingers, “please don’t push me away.”

“god—i have my reasons, mingyu.”

“then explain them to me!”

“i can’t give you what you want!” you cry out, needing him to understand you. “someone like you just doesn’t work with someone like me. it might sound stupid, but it’s the truth. i wouldn’t tell you i love you, i’m fucking—bitter and cynical, if not misanthropic, i like my own peace and quiet, i fucking hate talking about what i feel — and you are the complete opposite. i’d make you miserable. you’d grow to hate me.”

“no, i wouldn’t.”

“you would. you... i do like you. i don’t know what the hell you did, like—it’s bizarre how much i’ve grown to like you. but at the end of the day, we’d never work, because i cannot give you the love that you deserve. i know you. you want someone spontaneous, easygoing, sociable — those are all traits that i don’t have. i wish i did, but that’s just how i’m engineered. we wouldn’t work.”

“how do you even know that?”

“i’ve had two boyfriends before this. both broke things off with me ‘cause i didn't show love the way they were used to, and even when they called it quits, i didn’t show a thing. because i don’t do that. no matter how often i say it, no one ever appears to understand what they’re getting themselves into when they get close to me, so i’m telling you now. this? you and me?” you ask, finger pointing between the two of you. “we’d be idiots to try.”

“fine. then consider me an idiot.” he breathes out, just barely registering how close he’s standing to you. “i’m willing to try. please.”

the crease between your brows is the sign of your inner conflict. “i’m sick of getting hurt. sick of people making me feel like my feelings aren’t valid solely because i don’t like expressing them.”

“i’m not gonna hurt you. we can take things slow.”

“gyu—” you plead, almost like you’re begging him to stop tearing your walls down despite knowing he won’t.

and perhaps the other part of you does want to let him in. it’s so scary, so tempting.

“i don’t wanna lose you.”

he adores you so much — it’s ridiculous. “you won’t lose me. please…” he touches your fingers so gently, getting closer to you as you barely make an effort to push him away, “please let me in.”

his heartbeat rises when you look him in the eye — he wonders how the hell a person so strong can look so afraid. but he’s determined to show that you have no reason to be anymore.

it’s raining even harder now. instead of backing you up against the wall, he takes a few steps away from you as if he’s leaving, only for him to turn around and gesture for you to come with him.

mingyu’s smile shines even in the heavy downpour — a bright light that balances out your dull one.

he extends his hand, and you finally get over the edge of your fear, finally able to take control of your own body and slide your hand in his.

you and kim mingyu shouldn’t work — perhaps that’s exactly the reason why you do.

thank you for reading. let me know if you enjoyed it x

® SANAKIRAS — do not repost, remake or copy my work in any way whatsoever. translations are not allowed.

[thaoworra]

The Science Fiction and Fantasy Poetry Association recently released the poems that made it to the finalist stage for consideration for the 2024 Rhysling Awards for Short and Long Speculative Poems of the year. Congratulations to all of the nominees! This will be the 46th year these awards have been conferred!

Short Poems (50 finalists)

Attn: Prime Real Estate Opportunity!, Emily Ruth Verona, Under Her Eye: A Women in Horror Poetry Collection Volume II

The Beauty of Monsters, Angela Liu, Small Wonders 1

The Blight of Kezia, Patricia Gomes, HWA Poetry Showcase X

The Day We All Died, A Little, Lisa Timpf, Radon 5

Deadweight, Jack Cooper, Propel 7

Dear Mars, Susan L. Lin, The Sprawl Mag 1.2

Dispatches from the Dragon's Den, Mary Soon Lee, Star*Line 46.2

Dr. Jekyll, West Ambrose, Thin Veil Press December

First Eclipse: Chang-O and the Jade Hare, Emily Jiang, Uncanny 53

Five of Cups Considers Forgiveness, Ali Trotta, The Deadlands 31

Gods of the Garden, Steven Withrow, Spectral Realms 19

The Goth Girls' Gun Gang, Marisca Pichette, The Dread Machine 3.2

Guiding Star, Tim Jones, Remains to be Told: Dark Tales of Aotearoa, ed. Lee Murray (Clan Destine Press)

Hallucinations Gifted to Me by Heatstroke, Morgan L. Ventura, Banshee 15

hemiplegic migraine as willing human sacrifice, Ennis Rook Bashe, Eternal Haunted Summer Winter Solstice

Hi! I am your Cortical Update!, Mahaila Smith, Star*Line 46.3

How to Make the Animal Perfect?, Linda D. Addison, Weird Tales 100

I Dreamt They Cast a Trans Girl to Give Birth to the Demon, Jennessa Hester, HAD October

Invasive, Marcie Lynn Tentchoff, Polar Starlight 9

kan-da-ka, Nadaa Hussein, Apparition Lit 23

Language as a Form of Breath, Angel Leal, Apparition Lit October

The Lantern of September, Scott Couturier, Spectral Realms 19

Let Us Dream, Myna Chang, Small Wonders 3

The Magician's Foundling, Angel Leal, Heartlines Spec 2

The Man with the Stone Flute, Joshua St. Claire, Abyss & Apex 87

Mass-Market Affair, Casey Aimer, Star*Line 46.4

Mom's Surprise, Francis W. Alexander, Tales from the Moonlit Path June

A Murder of Crows, Alicia Hilton, Ice Queen 11

No One Now Remembers, Geoffrey Landis, Fantasy and Science Fiction Nov./Dec.

orion conquers the sky, Maria Zoccula, On Spec 33.2

Pines in the Wind, Karen Greenbaum-Maya, The Beautiful Leaves (Bamboo Dart Press)

The Poet Responds to an Invitation from the AI on the Moon, T.D. Walker, Radon Journal 5

A Prayer for the Surviving, Marisca Pichette, Haven Speculative 9

Pre-Nuptial, F. J. Bergmann, The Vampiricon (Mind's Eye Publications)

The Problem of Pain, Anna Cates, Eye on the Telescope 49

The Return of the Sauceress, F. J. Bergmann, The Flying Saucer Poetry Review February

Sea Change, David C. Kopaska-Merkel and Ann K. Schwader, Scifaikuest May

Seed of Power, Linda D. Addison, The Book of Witches ed. Jonathan Strahan (Harper Collins)

Sleeping Beauties, Carina Bissett, HWA Poetry Showcase X

Solar Punks, J. D. Harlock, The Dread Machine 3.1

Song of the Last Hour, Samuel A. Betiku, The Deadlands 22

Sphinx, Mary Soon Lee, Asimov's September/October

Storm Watchers (a drabbun), Terrie Leigh Relf, Space & Time

Sunflower Astronaut, Charlie Espinosa, Strange Horizons July

Three Hearts as One, G. O. Clark, Asimov's May/June

Troy, Carolyn Clink, Polar Starlight 12

Twenty-Fifth Wedding Anniversary, John Grey, Medusa's Kitchen September

Under World, Jacqueline West, Carmina Magazine September

Walking in the Starry World, John Philip Johnson, Orion's Belt May

Whispers in Ink, Angela Yuriko Smith, Whispers from Beyond (Crystal Lake Publishing)

Long Poems (25 finalists)

Archivist of a Lost World, Gerri Leen, Eccentric Orbits 4

As the witch burns, Marisca Pichette, Fantasy 87

Brigid the Poet, Adele Gardner, Eternal Haunted Summer Summer Solstice

Coding a Demi-griot (An Olivian Measure), Armoni “Monihymn” Boone, Fiyah 26

Cradling Fish, Laura Ma, Strange Horizons May

Dream Visions, Melissa Ridley Elmes, Eccentric Orbits 4

Eight Dwarfs on Planet X, Avra Margariti, Radon Journal 3

The Giants of Kandahar, Anna Cates, Abyss & Apex 88

How to Haunt a Northern Lake, Lora Gray, Uncanny 55

Impostor Syndrome, Robert Borski, Dreams and Nightmares 124

The Incessant Rain, Rhiannon Owens, Evermore 3

Interrogation About A Monster During Sleep Paralysis, Angela Liu, Strange Horizons November

Little Brown Changeling, Lauren Scharhag, Aphelion 283

A Mere Million Miles from Earth, John C. Mannone, Altered Reality April

Pilot, Akua Lezli Hope, Black Joy Unbound eds. Stephanie Andrea Allen & Lauren Cherelle (BLF Press)

Protocol, Jamie Simpher, Small Wonders 5

Sleep Dragon, Herb Kauderer, The Book of Sleep (Written Image Press)

Slow Dreaming, Herb Kauderer, The Book of Sleep (Written Image Press)

St. Sebastian Goes To Confession, West Ambrose, Mouthfeel 1

Value Measure, Joseph Halden and Rhonda Parrish, Dreams and Nightmares 125

A Weather of My Own Making, Nnadi Samuel, Silver Blade 56

Welcoming the New Girl, Beth Cato, Penumbric October

What You Find at the Center, Elizabeth R McClellan, Haven Spec Magazine 12

The Witch Makes Her To-Do List, Theodora Goss, Uncanny 50

The Year It Changed, David C. Kopaska-Merkel, Star*Line 46.4

Voting for the Rhysling Award begins July 1; a link to the ballot will be sent with the Rhysling Anthology, as well as with the July issue of Star*Line. More information on the Rhysling Award can be found here.

[svt17-imagines]

𝕴𝖓𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖗𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

ꜱʏɴᴏᴘꜱɪꜱ: ʜᴇʟᴘɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴏᴡᴏʀᴋᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱᴏɴɢ ʜᴇ'ᴅ ʙᴇᴇɴ ꜱᴛʀᴜɢɢʟɪɴɢ ᴡɪᴛʜ ꜰᴏʀ ᴡᴇᴇᴋꜱ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜɪɴɢ, ʙᴜᴛ ɢᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴄᴀᴜɢʜᴛ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜɪɴɢ ʏᴏᴜʀꜱᴇʟꜰ ɪɴ ʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴜᴅɪᴏ ᴡʜɪʟᴇ ʟɪꜱᴛᴇɴɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜɪꜱ ᴍᴜꜱɪᴄ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ.

ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 6ᴋ

ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ᴍᴜᴛᴜᴀʟ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴜʀʙᴀᴛɪᴏɴ, ᴅɪʀᴛʏ ᴛᴀʟᴋ

ᴀ/ɴ: ꜰɪʀꜱᴛ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴀɴ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟ +18 ꜰɪᴄ ꜱᴏ ᴘʟᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴍɪɴᴅ ᴀɴʏ ᴀᴡᴋᴡᴀʀᴅ ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ɪ'ᴍ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ꜰɪɢᴜʀɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ᴡʀɪᴛᴇ ꜱᴛᴜꜰꜰ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ꜰɪɢᴜʀᴇᴅ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛɪɴɢ ꜱʟᴏᴡ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴍᴇ ʟᴇᴀʀɴ! ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ~

—

Sometimes your own life didn’t feel real.

It took years of back breaking studying and hard work, but even you couldn't believe your ears when it was announced that you had somehow managed to swing a job as one of HYBE’s various producers. The roster of people it allowed you worked with was expansive and impressive, and you often felt out of place amongst the many well known music industry personas who shared your job title. But all that wasn’t to say you got chosen for the job out of pure luck or sheer will, for you definitely had more than enough background and experience to warrant your resume having a more than fair shot in the first place.

You’d worked with plenty of idols before, albeit without an official label behind you or any exclusive contract in place. Hell you’d even produced for a few big names in the U.S., it gave you every reason to be extremely proud of your work, and deep down you definitely knew your skills were highly sought after. But it didn’t change the fact that you still got surprised whenever a particularly famous idol or company reached out and requested to work with you.

You were even more caught off guard when Bang PD himself wrote to you directly, offering you the opportunity of a lifetime to work with the various talents beneath the incredibly famous company known as HYBE.

That was two years ago now, and you’d grown more connections with more composers and idols then you’d ever thought possible. Le Sserafim was the first group you’d ever been assigned to work with, and from then on you knew you made the right career choice. The girls were absolute angels, incredibly humble with the kindest personalities. New Jeans was the next, and you’d never felt more protective and proud of such sweet young ladies. They even went out of their way to  write you a card and buy you a cake last year for your birthday.

Seventeen though… Seventeen just so happened to be the group you’d grown the most fond of within the past year.

Your first job for them was to assist the production of their song Darling, and from the moment you’d stepped foot in the studio the boys went above and beyond to make you feel welcomed. Seungcheol was the first to greet and introduce the members, which you’d appreciated immensely. Joshua and Vernon were happy to have some small talk in English with you to discuss your work in the U.S., while DK and Hoshi made an effort to get to know more personal details like how you came to work for HYBE in the first place. All of the members were considerate enough to include you in their conversations, and as you all grew closer you’d come to become friends even outside of work.

It was an interesting dynamic they all had, fitting together like a puzzle even though their personalities were all so complex and different. The way their voices managed to melt together without any problems astounded you, and made the production process a million times more interesting and fun to you.

And Woozi of course was the conductor that made the absolute chaos of Seventeen’s vocals work together. Your respect for him had grown exponentially the longer you knew him, and over time he’d eventually become the one you’d talk to the most in the group. 

The first time you’d ever seen him in person you had to admit you were incredibly intimidated, his blondish pink hair was concealed with a black baseball cap as he sat leaning forward in his office chair. His posture was tense and uncomfortably on edge, almost as if a simple change in temperature would disrupt his process and send him spiraling. His eyes darted around the computer monitors sporadically, adjusting volume levels and fixing microphone frequencies quicker than even you could follow. He was locked in, completely blocking out everything except the boys’ vocals and the screens in front of him.

He hadn’t even properly been able to introduce himself to you until after everyone else had finally left, only then did he finally remove those giant headphones covering his cute little ears. You remembered the rush of anxiety creeping up your throat at the time, by that point you’d met many producers and musicians who absolutely hated being assigned an assistant. You’d come to find it was always a pride thing. When a song just wasn’t working most felt the need to figure out what was missing themselves, and if they were so much as suggested a simple extra drum beat in the background or a synth wave in the chorus, it would get immediately shut down no matter the potential it had. 

But when Jihoon turned around in his chair to greet you with a sheepish grin and a bow of acknowledgement, you knew he was simply just appreciative of the space you had given him to work. He offered you a seat next to him, apologized profusely for his late introduction, and asked for any input you might have for the title track.

It made sense that you’d both end up getting along so well, with the two of you being such passionate producers and each of you having workaholic tendencies practically pumping through your veins. Music came easily to you, to Jihoon, it was a love you had shared deeply and a conversation you never got sick of having together. It became incredibly common for both of you to knock out in his studio after pushing yourselves to the absolute limits of your creative abilities.

But it also wasn’t uncommon for you to swing by and bring him food even on the days you weren’t working. When you got especially bored at home, you often found yourself poking your head in the studio door and proceeding to talk his ears off for hours about life while he sat and listened, and in return he’d rant to you about whatever musical rut he’d been stuck in that day. 

During the worst of it he would shut himself inside the studio and force himself to work in complete silence, it was days like these where you knew he needed energy the most. You’d drag him out of the studio for some sun and stimulation, force him to grab coffee or walk to the convenience store together, other times he would ask you to simply stay with him while he brooded over his computer in a pout. 

One time he’d gotten stuck on a melody for days, and yet within one single visit inspiration had hit you almost immediately. He always made sure to let you know how grateful he was when you gave your opinion, each time he would always give you the warmest, most gentle smile you’d ever seen. The same smile that filled you with an unbridled joy that pooled deep in your stomach, it made you feel… needed. No, it made you feel borderline irreplaceable.

Today was one of your days off, and yet you still found yourself grinning ear to ear as your heels clicked along the marble flooring of the main HYBE building. A large sandwich bag was hanging from your arm, with your hands clutching a cup holder filled with iced americanos. You made your way to the elevator, fumbling with your badge to scan against the wall reader as the soft ding alerted you to the lift arriving.

The third floor of the building was designated for all the production studios, with a practice room at the far end of the narrow hall. It was one of the higher quality locations meant more for filming rather than actually rehearsing. Each room contained plenty of music equipment and had absolutely breathtaking acoustics, with nearly each one also managing to be soundproof. You'd remembered being present for one of Seungkwan's incredibly impressive vocal recordings here as an assistant producer a while back, and to this day you swore that it was the most beautiful sound you’d ever heard in your life. 

As you stepped out of the elevator your smile grew even wider as you noticed Jeonghan and Wonwoo walking down the hall in your direction. Jeonghan with his arm hooked through Wonwoo’s tightly, his head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

“Y/N! I thought you weren’t in till Friday?” Wonwoo greeted with a smile, his hand coming up to adjust the glasses drooping low on his nose. It was obvious the two had just gotten done filming something, their faces were slightly red from exertion and excessive overheating if their leather jackets and pants were anything to go by. 

“Jihoon’s been stuck on Maestro’s bridge since last week, I figured I’d at least bring him some lunch so he doesn’t starve himself to death.” You shrugged, Jeonghan smirked.

“You came just for Jihoon? Again?” He huffed in feigned offense. “What about us~?” 

“You know just as well as I do that I can’t walk into this building without expecting to run into at least two of you.” You giggled, holding out the coffee carrier in your hands. “I brought extra for you guys, try not to fall in love with me alright?”

Their eyes immediately perked up at the sight of iced americano and wasted no time snatching one each. Wonwoo took a long sip from his drink and released a sigh, his eyes closed in content.

“An Angel. You’re an Angel, Y/N.” Wonwoo spoke blissfully. Jeonghan nodded and proceeded to sip from his as his eyes fluttered shut too.

“I will never doubt your beautiful and charitable heart ever again.” You snorted at the dramatics, reaching into the sandwich bag for the extra pesto caprese you’d purchased as well.

“You guys can split this too, but don’t tell the others.” You chuckled as the two practically drooled, eyes locked on to your hands as you offered them the food. “If they find out I fed you both they’re all gonna make me buy them dinner next time.”

Jeonghan nodded and grabbed the sandwich from you without hesitation, attracting Wonwoo’s gaze. He gave a little cross my heart sign and winked slyly.

“They’ll never even know it existed.” Jeonghan promised, already slinking his way onto the elevator behind you. “It’ll be gone in seconds, trust me.”

“Hey! Where do you think you’re going with that alone, huh?” Wonwoo whined, following him into the elevator and reaching for the sandwich. Jeonghan was faster and trickier, pulling it out of reach just in time resulting in a soft “Hyung!”.

“Why? What is it?” Jeonghan feigned innocence as he tried pushing Wonwoo out of the elevator to escape, Wonwoo forced his way back in with a hearty laugh as he managed to bite a small corner out of one of the sandwich halves still in Jeonghan hands. “Hey! What if I wanted that one!”

“Yoon Jeonghan—” You threatened lightly, a smile tugging at your lips when Jeonghan finally ended his teasing. He handed Wonwoo his partially bitten portion of the sandwich just as the doors to the elevator closed, both of them waving you goodbye with a happy grin.

You chuckled in content and continued down the hall to the left, finally coming to a stop in front of Jihoon’s studio. You gave the door a heavy knock, not expecting him to hear much especially if he had his headphones on. When no response was given for five minutes you pulled out the key he’d given you a long time ago, unlocking the door swiftly and surprised to find the room completely dark.

You flipped on the main light switch to discover the studio completely empty, papers and pens scattered across the desk with ramblings written every which way in the producer's idea notebook. A half assed attempt was made to fix the couch, which was covered by a throw blanket and pillow to indicate he’d been pulling all nighters here again.

You set the sandwich bag and remaining coffee on the little table in front of the couch, whipping your phone out to shoot a text to the sweet overworked producer you called a friend.

Brought you lunch, studio looks like a wreck lol. You been feeling ok?

You grabbed the small trash can beside Woozi’s desk and got to work throwing away the energy drink cans and granola wrappers littering his desk. You were just organizing all of his sheet music when you felt your phone buzz in response.

This songs’ been killing me, man. Couldn’t breathe in that room any more, went to the gym to relieve some stress. I’ll be there in a bit, appreciate you for always worrying about me

You let out an exhale as you slid your blazer off your shoulders and placed it along the back of the desk chair, unable to simply sit and do nothing while he struggled. You of all people knew how frustrating creative blocks could be, but hopefully a cleaner environment would ease his tension a little bit. You took a seat at his chair and scooted yourself up to the computer, logging in to locate the audio file for Maestro that was currently driving its producer up a wall.

Your eyes poured over the desktop, and you quietly cursed Jihoon for never labeling anything properly. ‘Organized Chaos’ he’d call it, but just looking at the screen filled with folders titled ‘Audio Ex1-B67’ gave you no clues as to what actually was stored in each file.

You sighed and decided to start with the icons at the bottom that looked most recent, you clicked. The infamous beat of ‘Adore U’ began to play. You clicked the next one, Wonwoo’s distinct growl filled your ears as you recognized their song ‘Fear’. You closed both files and groaned outwardly, remembering Jihoon discussing the concept of sampling past songs to construct his new one.

You changed your focus towards the folders near the middle of the screen and clicked the first one you saw. It was labeled differently in comparison to the rest, and the audio file inside had no name at all. Just a jumbled arrangement of letters and numbers randomly given by the computer itself. You pressed play, and a completely unfamiliar melody began echoing through the studio speakers.

It was completely unlike anything Jihoon had composed before, it was sweet but also… sensual. Not like the few songs he’d produced for Seventeen that gave a spicier instrumental, this felt more intimate somehow. Almost personal. The slow hum of the strings in the background stole your breath and you felt your heartbeat quicken as a beautifully soft clarinet chorus stole your attention. The energy shifted halfway through, running around from loving and sensual to borderline carnal.

You could practically feel the goosebumps forming as you listened to it. There were no lyrics, but every now and then Jihoon let out a faint vocal riff that was intoxicating. His voice made you melt, and you were too absorbed into the music to feel embarrassed by the warmth making its way through your body. A pleasant buzz ran from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, and you imagined him singing to you. 

You closed your eyes and laid your head back against his chair to really get the full effect, to lean into what the music was trying to make you feel. It amplified everything tenfold, and you began to notice the hints of Jihoon’s cologne that still lingered within the space. Everything about the song, about the room, about the scent, it overwhelmed your senses and you suddenly realized how much you enjoyed it. How easily you’d allow yourself to get overtaken by it all, only if it was him. Only if it was Jihoon.

A guitar chord was plucked sharply in contrast to the soft instrumental, and you gasped in surprise. By this point you had thought the song was simply looping since it had been well over several minutes, but the longer it went on the more you noticed small interesting deviations from the original melody. The pace of the music kept steady, but everytime Jihoon let out another gorgeous riff you could feel the tension increasing slightly.

You almost wanted to break your trance just to throw on a pair of headphones, your body thrumming at thinking about what the song would sound like even more intimately being funneled directly to your ears. A shiver ran through you at the idea as another strain of strings drew you back into the music without another thought. 

A gust of AC provided your senses with yet another strong note of Jihoon’s cologne, at the exact same time the guitar plucked again and his voice echoed beautifully throughout the room. Almost on impulse, your hand reached up to clutch your chest. It trailed downwards slowly, softly grazing your left breast and a quiet hum escaped your lips as your fingers danced along your clothed peak. You bit your lip and pressed lightly into your clothed center with your other hand, sighing how good the pressure felt.

Your head felt empty and dizzy, this kind of touch with these kinds of thoughts about Jihoon were typically reserved for your own bed at home. Never once had you ever allowed such behavior to follow you to work, nevertheless Jihoon’s own studio. You stuttered in your motions as a sliver of guilt ran through you, he was your colleague, he was your friend. This was inappropriate on every single level.

But it was like the music was encouraging you, talking you through it. And almost like it knew you were beginning to have doubts, Jihoon let out the most provocative vocal run you’d never thought possible. Your hand gripped tightly on to your breast in reflex, and the noise you made would’ve been humiliating if you weren’t so focused on every little jolt of pleasure thrumming through your veins.

Before you could think better of it, your right hand moved to hurriedly unbutton the top of your pants. Not bothering to push them down, you dipped your hand into the waistband of your underwear to locate your heated folds and you exhaled at the relief it brought. Your head tilted back and your mouth formed an ‘O’ as the pleasure from your own fingers built steadily, another stray guitar chord causing your body to jolt in gratification.

You weren’t proud of it, but you’d imagined Jihoon touching you like this more times than you could count, especially in this studio. His mouth being unable to detach itself from yours, from your neck, from your chest, from between your legs. Your favorite thing to fantasize about lately was riding him in the very chair you sat in, ending it with a sloppy kiss as he refused to let you remove himself from you. You thought about where he would touch you first, where would you touch him? A silly question, since you knew those gorgeous locks of hair would be tangled between your fingers without a second thought if he so much as allowed it. You wanted him panting in your ears, his voice itself bringing you to an edge that you just needed to fall off of.

Your fingers quickened, and you whined out as you found yourself waiting for another of Jihoon’s vocal riffs to give you that extra push closer to completion. Instead, the clarinet danced throughout your ears, a soft beat echoed from the drums, even a few stray piano notes participated in increasing your tension. It was teasing you, the song knew what you wanted but it refused to give it to you. Another whine was unconsciously pulled from your lips.

“Please… please…” you found yourself whispering out loud, your head spinning as your hand began to cramp up at the speed with which it moved. “God Jihoon, please—“

A loud thud that was definitely not a part of the music ripped you out of your reverie in an instant. Your hand shot away from your breast while the other ripped itself out of your pants as if they were both burned. You swiveled the chair to face the door of the studio, and your heart sunk into your stomach as Jihoon stood front and center with the most frustratingly unreadable expression on his face.

His cheeks were flushed, most likely from the gym but you wouldn’t be surprised if it was partially your own doing as well. His long black hair was messy and slightly damp from sweat, the black tank top and shorts he wore were clinging to his body and giving your indecent mind way too much of a view of his glistening pale skin. His gym bag was on the floor, some of its contents having spilled out including one of his metal water bottles and a small kettlebell, the items proven to be the cause of the thudding sound no doubt.

You simply looked at him for a solid minute, your chest still panting from the near orgasm you’d just experienced and your body still aching from being denied its release. You felt shame, pure and unbridled as he looked you up and down. You hadn’t bothered to button your pants back up, and your shirt and bra were most certainly out of sorts from the iron grip you’d had on it moments before. You looked an absolute mess, and even if he had only come in half a minute ago, there was no hiding or denying what you’d been up to.

“I… I’m…” You began, finding the first few words coming out like gravel in your throat. “Can we just, not talk about this?”

You attempted to appear pitiful, which wasn’t hard considering you wanted nothing more than the ground to swallow you up whole in that very moment. His expression still revealed nothing and you huffed in irritation, running a hand through your hair as you sent him a pleading look. 

“Look, I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what came over me.” You tried to act normal, turning back to the computer briefly to shut off the music that had become background noise playing softly through the studio. Your heart hammered in your chest. 

“I just…” Jihoon croaked out, attempting to keep a casual composure and failing. Your eyes locked on his, expecting. “I never expected to walk in on—“

“Please! Stop!” You covered your ears in embarrassment and Jihoon had the audacity to chuckle softly. You glared at him. “Don’t even try to tell me you’ve never gotten yourself off here before, you practically live in this place.”

His ears burned red and you felt a bit of relief that you’d hit the nail on its head, a bit of excitement also thrumming through your chest at the image it gave you. You forced yourself to straighten your back and clear your throat, fixing your shirt back into place as you reached down to re-button your pants.

“… You could.. continue. If you wanted to.” Jihoon let out, and you felt your fingers freeze at his words. You looked up to stare at him, his eyes were glassy and his cheeks and ears still burned deeply. But his gaze, his gaze was directly on you.

“… What?” You blinked, unsure if your fogged up brain was simply making you hear hallucinations at this point. Jihoon shifted his weight, making no move to leave.

“I’m the one that interrupted.” He licked his lips, and your eyes latched on to the motion immediately. “I would hate for you to go… unsatisfied because of me.”

He spoke matter of factly, like he was suggesting a different melody for the hook of a song or what they should eat for dinner today. It didn’t sound creepy or odd in his voice at all, just a suggestion from one friend to the other. Your brain reeled, partially excited at the prospect of relieving all the tension your body had winded up, but also anxious as to how Jihoon would see you after this awkward encounter was over.

Despite everything, your core ached at the very thought of being relieved, and you gripped the arms of the chair to ground yourself before responding.

“… I’d appreciate that, then.” You spoke, your own voice sounding unfamiliar. Jihoon’s eyes widened slightly, as if surprised by your answer. He seemed to mull something over as he leaned down to throw the water bottle and kettlebell back in his gym bag, tossing it in the corner of the room.

Your eyes tracked his every move carefully, the way his bicep veins flexed as he lifted the bag and the angle at which his glorious thigh muscles peeked out from beneath the edges of his shorts. Your mouth went dry at the sight, and you couldn’t help the surprised noise you made when he moved to sit on the couch rather than exiting the room.

You raised a brow as he leaned back comfortably, one arm lying across the top of the couch while the other rested atop his front. Your brain flashed a brief image of you crawling into his lap, his arms wrapping around your waist as you hooked your arms around his neck. Pulling him closer, and closer…

You mentally slapped yourself, he literally just sat down.

“Are you not leaving?” You questioned with a frown, unsure of how much longer you were expected to continue acting like you weren’t completely turned on and frustrated. Jihoon shrugged slightly.

“It’s my studio, why would I leave?” He spoke in that tone again, like he was just asking your typical everyday question. It was starting to tick you off.

“You just said I could continue what I was doing.”

“I did.” Your brows scrunched together in confusion.

“… But you’re not gonna leave?”

“Nope.”

Jihoon shifted his legs wider, and you were suddenly aware of just how obvious it was that you were ogling him. The man could’ve moved a pinkie and your eyes would dart to watch it, your posture completely tense and on edge. He smiled a little, and your face warmed as you realized he’d been observing you too.

“You’re just.. gonna sit there then?” Your voice was barely above a whisper as you finally registered what he wanted. You swallowed audibly. “You’re going to watch me?”

“Unless you’d rather go somewhere else.” He suggested, and though Jihoon looked just as invested as you were, it was equally apparent that you still held all the power in the room. If you wanted to leave and decided you were uncomfortable, he wouldn’t stop you from getting up and walking right out. It was his own kind of reassurance, a promise with his eyes that things wouldn’t change between the two of you even if you decided to end it all right then.

Instead, you strengthened your resolve and removed your shirt. You didn’t look at him directly, still a bit too nervous for that. But you heard his sharp intake of breath, and all the hairs on your arm stood up at the sound. The unspoken tension in the air shifted almost immediately, and before you could regret it you forced yourself to completely relax in the chair as you closed your eyes.

Your hand discovered your breast once more, teasing and prodding over the thin material of your bra. A sigh escaped as you squeezed softly, without the music playing you found yourself much more aware and anxious of the eyes staring you down. Your hand dipped tentatively underneath your bra to play with your peak and you squirmed slightly, your center pulsing in excitement and you whimpered at the feeling.

“Fuck…” A groan resounded throughout the studio and you arched your back in surprise at Jihoon’s suddenly rough voice. His cursing made the dim flame sitting in the pit of your stomach burst into a wildfire, and you pinched your nipple with a small squeak. 

It was honestly desperate the way in which you forced your hand back beneath your underwear, unable to contain the desire Jihoon managed to make you feel through that one word alone. Any remaining embarrassment from the situation dissipated as you focused entirely on the pleasure your own fingers provided. You rolled your thumb against your nipple as a finger finally prodded inside your aching core.

“Take it off.” Jihoon practically begged, and your eyes fluttered open to look at him. His pupils had gone nearly completely black, and the arm covering his front seemed to be applying pressure to a now significantly growing bulge in his shorts. You licked your lips which seemed to add fuel to his fire, and he huffed out again. “Your bra, your pants. Take them off.”

You smiled at his weak demand but you stopped your ministrations nevertheless. You stood from your chair on tentative legs, unhooking your bra and letting it fall soundlessly to the ground. The look on Jihoon’s face made you feel warmer than you’d ever thought possible, his jaw clenched tightly and he didn’t even bother to hide the grip he held on his swelling erection.

“That song you wrote, the one that was playing when you came in.” You removed one leg from your pants slowly, then the other. Deliberately teasing the frustrated man across from you. “It was beautiful, your voice suited it perfectly. It felt carnal, like lust incarnate.”

“It was just some late night improv.” He spoke breathlessly, eyeing you hungrily as you sat back down to continue your actions. “I remember you looking especially tempting that day. It took everything in me not to pull up that sinful fucking skirt of yours and throw you up against my desk.”

You gasped at the image and bit down hard on the inside of your cheek to keep from groaning out loud. Your underwear which you’d simply pushed to the side was drenched by that point, and you slowed your pace as you watched Jihoon staring at your fingers fervently. You wanted to give him the best show while you were able, in and out... In… and out.

“Whatever emotions I don’t act on goes straight into those unnamed tracks.” He mumbled out. A deep exhale leaving his lips as the last of his self control seemed to exit his body. “I probably have thirty recordings on there that were created just from me thinking about you.”

You cried out as he spoke, pumping another digit inside your throbbing hole as you ramped up the intensity. You watched eagerly as Jihoon shuffled his shorts down, his own hand tugging his erection harshly put from his underwear with haste. Your fingers stuttered at the sight of him, pale and long with a glistening pink tip. ‘Pretty.’ You couldn’t help but think, practically drooling as you imagined how it would feel to replace your fingers with it.

“What if I told you I want you to act on it?” You panted out, a light sheen of sweat coating your skin as you watched Jihoon pause mid stroke. “What if I told you I want you to fuck me until I’m numb? That I dream about it.”

Jihoon let out his own whimper at your words, and the noise had you keening into your palm. Jihoon increased the pace at which he pumped his hard length, his expression that of a complete wreck. You quickened your fingers in turn, eager to feel as connected to him in pleasure as you were physically able.

“I’d tell you that I’ve pictured pushing you into the glass of my recording studio and falling to my knees since the day we met. I’ve thought about thrusting my tongue into that tight little hole of yours over and over until you can’t be bothered to think straight more times than I can count.” He spoke his words carefully, eyes never once leaving your body as he watched your soaked fingers pump steadily into your cunt. “I want to record the audio of it all. Of you screaming my name as I devour you, the sounds of you panting and begging me to let you cum. It would be the most beautiful fucking sound, my favorite song.”

The moan you released was obscene, the heat in your blood boiling up to unbearable heights as you unconsciously introduced a third finger. Your pants were getting heavier, and you knew the edge was once again spiraling towards you head first. 

“You like that?” Jihoon grunted, a self assured smirk planted on his face contrasting with the desperate way with which he stroked himself. “You enjoy touching yourself while I talk about all the different positions I’ve  wanted to fuck you in?”

You nodded so harshly you wouldn’t be surprised if your neck was sore tomorrow. Your eyes squeezed shut again as the smell of your and Jihoons sweat and fluids consumed your senses, his voice was so much better than the music. The slight neediness mixed with his hungry tone made your knees weak, and you quivered to think of how your body would react if he’d actually been touching you.

“Next time I’ll bend you over my desk, huh?” Jihoon moaned at his own words, the very idea of it seeming to drive him mad. His grip was iron tight as his pumps stuttered and his eyes fluttered closed for a quick  moment before latching once more unto you. “I’ll lean down to your ear and tell you how good you feel around me as I pound every inch into you nice and hard. You’d be so good for me wouldn’t you?”

“Please…” You whispered out as you felt yourself finally reach the peak, your clit throbbing as your other hand reached down to give it a harsh rub. “God Jihoon, please…”

“Are you gonna cum for me, Y/N? I want to see how wrecked you look when you do.” Jihoon panted, his chest heaving as his own release approached rapidly. “Fuck please, say my name when you cum. Say my fucking name—“

“Jihoon!” You couldn’t help but scream out, repeating it over and over again as a complete tidal wave of pleasure roared through you as your body jolted over and over again. The aftershocks were nearly just as strong, and you squeaked out in surprise at just how intense and drawn out your orgasm had been.

By the end of it you were completely limp, not a single muscle functioning properly and your mind a delightfully empty buzz. You managed to open your eyes slightly, finding Jihoon in a nearly identical state with his eyes shut and his arms being completely dead weight hanging by his sides.

Eventually both of your heavy breathing slowed significantly, and those gorgeous eyes of his opened leisurely to lock on to your own. The sudden twinge of worry that you’d crossed too big of a boundary was completely crushed when Jihoon offered you the warmest smile. 

In that moment you swore he was practically glowing, he wasn’t the stressed and overworked producer you’d come to know so well. He looked content, happy, and if you could help him feel that way every day for the rest of your life you knew you’d never have any regrets for as long as you lived. You returned his smile, a chuckle escaping your lips.

“I think you’ve just ruined any chance of me experiencing a normal orgasm ever again.” You giggled, he raised a brow. “I don’t think I’ll ever be able to cum like that again unless I’m listening to one of your songs or something.”

Jihoon groaned, the picture of you touching yourself while listening to his music no doubt clouding his mind. You were both well aware of each other's exhaustion, but god only knew if he wanted another round you wouldn’t even hesitate. Anything to feel that level of intensity again.

“Don’t you ever let me find out you’re trying to get yourself off without me again.” Jihoon threatened weakly, sitting up tentatively to give you a cheeky grin. “I’m a man of my word after all. And we have a lot of positions to try out.”

[mylovesstuffs]

OT13 approaching intimacy with their pregnant s/o

Request: Hiii! Can you please do a Ot13 about like their intimacy and sex life during your (their s/o) pregnancy? Also like what if they do intiniate sex or you do? Or like what will they do? What matters the most to them, what intimacy is to them, how much they prioritise it and all that

A/N: Sorry for making you wait. Surprisingly, had to think about it for a long time lol.

Content: This post discusses intimacy, relationships, and pregnancy, including emotional and physical dynamics. Please proceed if comfortable with these topics.

Seungcheol: As the dependable partner, Cheol would prioritize your comfort above all else. He's deeply attuned to your needs and emotions, always checking in to ensure you're okay. If you initiated, he'd pause to check if you’re sure, then take a slow and sensual approach, ensuring it’s all about your comfort. So when it comes to intimacy, he’s incredibly gentle, making sure you feel cherished and respected. He’s a firm believer in physical touch, often holding your belly while talking to your baby. Even if sex takes a backseat, cuddling and affectionate gestures remain a constant.

Jeonghan: Jeonghan thrives on teasing you in the sweetest way. He enjoys reminding you how beautiful you are, even if you're feeling less than your best. When it comes to intimacy, he’s slow and (also) sensual, taking his time to make you feel adored. He wouldn’t initiate often unless he could tell you wanted to but would at first somewhat tease or flirt to gauge your mood. If you initiated, he’d smirk and tease you a little but would be fully attentive, ensuring you’re comfortable every step of the way. He’s also playful, making you laugh during vulnerable moments. He’ll happily trade physical intimacy for massages or rubbing your feet when you’re too tired.

Joshua: I believe Shua takes a tender and romantic approach, always asking for your comfort levels before initiating anything. I'm telling you again, he will ALWAYS CHECK in with you before initiating anything. He’s incredibly patient, prioritizing your well-being over his needs. Sex during pregnancy is more emotional than physical for him. If you initiated, he’d smile softly, taking it as a sign of trust and will do whatever you want him to do. Expect lots of forehead kisses, slow dancing in the living room, and soft reassurances that he still finds you breathtaking. And even without sex, Joshua would show his love through gestures like foot massages or singing to your baby bump.

Jun: My man becomes even more attentive and thoughtful, taking on the role of your caretaker. He’s curious about every change happening to your body and finds it all fascinating, including the way your baby bump grows. Intimacy with Jun is lighthearted unlike other times, often filled with laughter as he tries to make you feel at ease. He’s naturally affectionate and wouldn’t shy away from initiating intimacy but would do so in a way that made you feel completely at ease. If you initiated, he’d be excited but gentle, showering you with compliments about how beautiful you are. He’ll make sure you’re comfortable and won’t push for anything you’re not up for.

Hoshi: Hoshi’s enthusiasm doesn’t falter one bit. He’s all about showering you with affection and telling you how amazing you are for carrying your little tiger cub. His approach to intimacy is spontaneous yet considerate—he’ll make sure to keep things fun and stress-free. Even if you’re not in the mood for sex, he’ll settle for long cuddles, kisses, and telling the baby how much they’re loved. If you initiated, he’d beam with excitement and take it as a sign that you trust him.

Wonwoo: Wonwoo becomes even more protective and gentle during your pregnancy. He would lean into emotional intimacy, letting sex come naturally as you feel comfortable. He rarely initiates but is incredibly responsive if you do, ensuring every moment feels meaningful and stress-free. He’s all about soft, meaningful moments, where the two of you can just connect. Intimacy with him is fluffy and slow, with an emphasis on emotional closeness rather than anything physical. He’ll spend hours reading to you or resting his head on your belly, finding peace in just being close to you.

Woozi: He’s highly attuned to your emotional and physical needs, often putting your comfort above his own desires. He’s less likely to initiate sex during your pregnancy unless he’s certain you’re feeling up to it, but if you initiated, he’d treat it as a chance to connect deeply. Woozi expresses his care in very impactful ways. He may not be overly verbal, but his actions speak louder than words ever can. He’s meticulous about ensuring your comfort and will adjust his schedule to spend more time with you. Intimacy with him is delicate and thoughtful—he focuses on what makes you feel good without putting any pressure on you.

Dokyeom: Kyeom's cheerfulness is contagious (I'll forever say this), and he’s always there to lift your spirits. He’s naturally affectionate but might be shy about initiating sex, worried about your well-being. If you initiated, he’d be thrilled but cautious, ensuring you’re genuinely ready and not pushing yourself. He’ll make you laugh during stressful moments and remind you how stunning you are every day. Intimacy with him is full of warmth and love, ensuring you never feel self-conscious. Even if sex isn’t on the table, he’s more than happy to hold you close and sing softly to your belly.

Mingyu: I think Gyu's love language is physical touch, so intimacy during your pregnancy would be a priority for him—not just sexually but in all forms. He’s highly affectionate, often initiating cuddles, massages, and gentle touches. If you initiated, he’d be eager but controlled, focusing on your comfort and ensuring the experience is as relaxing as possible. ALSO Mingyu thrives on making you feel like a queen during your pregnancy. From cooking your favorite meals to pampering you with spontaneous spa days, he’s all about treating you right. So, intimacy with him is passionate yet tender—he constantly reassures you of your beauty.

Minghao: Hao is incredibly mindful and attentive, always asking how you’re feeling and adapting his approach based on your needs. He’s patient and respectful, never initiating unless he knows you’re comfortable. He sees pregnancy as a beautiful journey and respects the changes in your body. Intimacy is gentle and intentional, with lots of eye contact and affirmations. If you initiated, he’d would proceed with care and attentiveness and if you’re not feeling up for sex, he’ll focus on other forms of connection, like holding hands or meditating together.

Seungkwan: Seungkwan is equal parts doting and passionate, constantly making sure you’re comfortable while also electrifying the mood with his sexiness I'm sorry. But he might hesitate to initiate sex, worried about your comfort. If you initiated, he’d approach it with care and sensitivity, making sure you felt cherished every step of the way. He’s vocal about how proud he is of you, often showering you with compliments. Intimacy with Seungkwan is full of love and care and he’ll take things at your pace and prioritize cuddles, kisses, and emotional connection over anything else.

Vernon: Vernon is adaptable, always going with the flow of your emotions. He’s not one to force anything and instead focuses on being present and supportive. He'll let you take the lead most of the time. He values your comfort and emotional well-being above all else, rarely initiating unless he senses you’re in the mood. If you initiated, he’d treat it with quiet enthusiasm, making sure you felt safe and loved. He’ll spend hours talking with you or playing your favorite songs to relax you. Physical affection remains gentle and unhurried, reflecting his respect for your boundaries. For Vernon, intimacy is about staying connected whether through sex, hanging out together, or simply holding you close.

Dino: Dino approaches your pregnancy with awe and excitement. He’s fascinated by the changes and always eager to help out. I think he'd be kinda nervous too about your pregnancy, often seeking advice to ensure he’s doing everything right. Intimacy with Dino is sweet and youthful, filled with playful moments and heartfelt gestures. He may be a little shy about initiating anything, but he makes up for it with his attentiveness and care. If you initiated, he’d be touched and would focus entirely on making you feel special.

[rmview]

relationship dynamic with you, SVT.

featuring — seventeen vocalists x gn!reader ( masterlist )

summary — an imagine of what the seventeen rap boys are like when they're in a relationship with you! ( rapper ver. )

contents — fluff, no warnings.

jeong ♡ han

jeonghan’s relationship with you is a perfect blend of playful teasing and unwavering affection. known for his cleverness, he loves keeping things fun and unpredictable, always coming up with ways to make you laugh or blush. he has a knack for pushing your buttons just enough to elicit a reaction, but it is never mean-spirited. beneath his mischievous exterior, jeonghan is deeply in tune with your emotions. he can sense when something is bothering you, even when you try to hide it, and he makes it his mission to lift your spirits.

“you’re not going to leave me hanging, are you?” he’d tease after pulling a harmless prank, a sly smile on his lips. but when the moment called for it, jeonghan’s sincerity would shine through. “i’ll always be here for you,” he’d say softly, his tone shedding all its playfulness as he held your hand.

dok ♡ yeom

dk’s relationship with you is a constant source of light and laughter. his energy is infectious, and he has an innate ability to turn even the gloomiest days around. being with him feels like standing in the sun — warm, bright, and full of life. dk is your biggest supporter, always cheering you on and reminding you of your worth, even on days when you doubt yourself. his love language is words of affirmation, and he makes sure you never go a day without hearing how much you mean to him. dk may not be just about fun and positivity; he is also deeply thoughtful and attentive. his gestures aren’t grand, but they are always heartfelt.

“you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” he’d say with a grin, before adding, “and I’m not just saying that because you made me coffee this morning!” yet in quieter moments, dk’s love ran deeper than words. “i mean it,” he’d whisper, his voice steady and eyes filled with emotion. “you’re my everything.”

ming ♡ hao

the8’s relationship with you is defined by quiet understanding and mutual respect. as someone who values introspection and personal growth, minghao encourages you to explore your passions and find balance in your life. he isn’t one for grand displays of affection, but his love shows in the little things. minghao’s calm and thoughtful nature brings a sense of peace to your relationship. his artistic soul shines through in the way he loves you, whether it is painting a picture inspired by you or writing down the little things he admires about you in a journal.

“did you notice the moon tonight?” he’d ask, his voice soft as he pointed to the sky, pulling you into his world of thoughtful observation. and when he opened up, his words were like poetry. “loving you feels like breathing,” he’d say earnestly, his sincerity shining through every syllable.

josh ♡ ua

joshua’s relationship with you is a haven of calm and stability. as someone with a naturally gentle and considerate nature, he has a way of making you feel safe and cherished. joshua is a master of small but meaningful gestures — like bringing you your favorite flowers just because or singing you a soft lullaby when you can’t sleep. his love isn’t loud or showy, but its steadfast and reliable, grounding you in a way few people could. with joshua, communication comes easily. he is a patient listener, always ready to talk. joshua is always by your side, offering quiet encouragement and unwavering support.

“i hope you know how much i adore you,” he’d say, his voice warm and soothing as he brushed a strand of hair from your face. and when he looked at you, it felt like you were the only person in the world. “you’re my heart, you know that?”

jun ♡ hui

jun is the kind of partner who keeps you on your toes, always finding ways to make life more exciting. his quirky humor and unpredictable nature are a constant source of joy, and he loves seeing you laugh, often going to great lengths to put a smile on your face. but while jun thrives on fun and spontaneity, his affection for you is anything but fleeting. he adores showering you with attention, whether it is sneaking up behind you for a surprise hug or serenading you with a random song he made up on the spot. despite his playful demeanor, jun has a deeply romantic side. his love is expressed in the way he looks at you, his eyes full of wonder and admiration, as if he can’t believe someone as amazing as you had chosen him.

“life’s too short not to have fun,” he’d say with a wink before whisking you away for an impromptu date. but when the moment called for seriousness, jun’s words carried weight. “i might be a little crazy sometimes,” he’d confess, his tone softening, “but i promise my love for you is the one thing i’ll always be serious about.”

woo ♡ zi

woozi’s relationship with you is built on quiet devotion and an unspoken understanding. though not the most outwardly expressive, his actions speak louder than words. he has a way of making you feel loved in the simplest yet most meaningful ways — like brewing you a cup of tea when you are stressed or staying up late to help you with a project, even when he is exhausted himself. being a perfectionist, woozi often struggles to balance his work with his personal life, but he makes a conscious effort to prioritize you. and despite his reserved nature, there are times when his emotions break through, revealing just how much he cared for you.

“i’m not great with words,” he’d admit, scratching the back of his neck, “but i hope you can feel how much you mean to me.” and when he let his guard down, his words were simple yet profound. “you’re the best part of my life,” he’d say, his voice steady and filled with sincerity.

seung ♡ kwan

seungkwan’s relationship with you was vibrant, emotional, and full of life. as someone who wore his heart on his sleeve, he wasn’t shy about showing his love for you. he adored talking with you, whether it was sharing his latest dramatic story or having deep, meaningful conversations late into the night. his ability to make you laugh was unmatched, and he took great pride in being the one to lift your spirits when you were down. but seungkwan wasn’t just about fun and laughter. he is fiercely protective of you, ready to defend you against anyone or anything that threatened your happiness. his love is loud and unapologetic, and he made sure you never felt taken for granted.

“do you even realize how amazing you are?” he’d ask, exasperated but affectionate, after you doubted yourself. and when things got serious, seungkwan’s emotional depth came to the forefront. “i joke a lot,” he’d say, holding your hand, “but never about how much i love you. you’re my person, always.”

notes: i love these boys sm <3

[trustmypoison]

Seventeen with a cautious crush/partner

Genre: comfort, angst

TW/CW: allusions to past trauma, but no specific scenarios - just the possible reactions you might have to it.

A/N: no specific traumas are mentioned because every single trauma is valid. There will be a lot of If statements in this in an effort to not exclude anyone. I understand that this is a sensitive topic. Be kind to yourselves and skip if it’s not the right time for you to read this. 🖤

Clocked it immediately upon meeting you - Jeonghan, Wonwoo, The8, Vernon

Totally perceptive and emotionally intelligent. Upon meeting you they will know there’s something behind that wall you keep up. It’s okay. He’s nothing if not patient. He may try to get you to relax with his sense of humor, but what will really do the trick is the careful consideration for your comfort. Don’t want to be touched? Done and he’ll make sure no one else does either. Don’t like loud or crowded spaces? He’s guiding you somewhere a little more secluded for a breath of fresh air or skipping the event all together to do something else with you. Too nervous or down to eat? He’s softly urging you to try something light to see if it will make you feel better. Can’t sleep? He’s offering a phone call or maybe even a walk around the block to clear your head. He likes that you let him in even a millimeter when he asks if something will help you. He’ll keep quietly supporting you without the promise of being let in completely, but if you do let him in he’ll be elated.

Picks up on little signs along the way - Seungcheol, Joshua, Woozi, Seungkwan

Might take that wall you have up as simply being shy, which he finds cute and will even tell you so. But there are little things that start to add up the more time he spends with you. Touches make you squirm. Or loud sounds make you jump more than most people. Or sometimes you seem a little checked out if too many people are around. Whatever those little hints are, he’s not totally surprised if you’re hot and cold and he’s starting to understand that it’s unintentional. He tries to be a comfort to you when you’re in a cold phase because he really just wants to be a safe space for you to turn to. And he’ll encourage the hot phases with a lot of enthusiasm. If you let the relationship progress, he’ll let you set the pace with gentle checkins to make sure you’re still comfortable. Your willingness to let the walls down even a bit means the world to him because it means you trust him. He’ll be so so so careful with that trust.

Might take a big moment to realize - Jun, Hoshi, Seokmin, Mingyu, Dino

Might not even read your reactions as shyness, but rather dislike or distaste for him. He’s not sure what he did at first and the perceived rejection might sting. He might not even observe long enough to see that you’re like that with just about everyone because he heard your silent message for distance and he’s giving it to you. I hate to say it but it might take a pretty big negative reaction for him to realize that there’s something more below the surface. Like seeing you crying or having a panic attack or looking terribly uncomfortable around someone, anything of that sort. He’ll step in without a second thought, asking how he can help. He knows it’s the desperation of the situation that has you accepting his help, but he’s okay with that because he gets it now. So so careful from that point forward. You have a full time body guard now that would like to be your boyfriend if you let him.

[hwanghyunjinenthusiast]

Catalyst

AN: The Joshua brainrot has been at an all time high and the most recent concept photos of him didn't help.

Synopsis: A trip to your brother and niece's brings feelings your husband has been shoving down for months to the surface.

General tags and warnings: Joshua Hong x Fem! Reader, they're married, sibling bantering, mentions of food, implications of strained familial relationships, Josh being a horrible communicator, Reader is shorter than Josh, Reader has hair Josh can pull on and porn with a smidge of plot.

Smut tags and warnings: Hard Dom! Joshua, sub! Reader mention of past oral sex (m. receiving), petnames, heavy breeding kink, dirty talk, hair pulling (f. receiving), praise, breast and nipple play (f. receiving), biting (f. receiving), fingering (f. receiving), bit of a humiliation kink, degradation (f. receiving), edging (f. receiving), dacryphilia, piv sex without a condom and creampie.

Word count: 7.3k.

I will block you if you are a minor and/or have no easily visible indication of your age on your blog if you interact with me in any way.

The drive to your brother's place feels like it takes a century. In reality, you're sure it's closer to thirty minutes but, you can't help the way you fidget with your wedding ring in the passenger seat with each minute that agonisingly ticks by. 

“We're almost there,” Joshua says even though you hadn't asked him how long it's  going to be in almost ten minutes and the laugh he's failing to hold back warms your face and puts you on the defensive. 

“I didn't even say anything!” you cry a touch too dramatically but, you know he loves you for your affinity for the theatrics anyway, “I was just sitting here,” you huff, taking a sip of the smoothie you picked up from the restaurant at the hotel the two of you are staying at since you didn't have breakfast. Because a certain someone wouldn't let you get out of bed long enough to grab yourself something to eat.

You try not to think too hard about said morning because you'll be seeing your family in less than fifteen minutes and thinking about how your husband made you choke on his cock is deeply inappropriate. 

“You're sitting there very loudly,” he says with an amused tinge to his voice as he takes a left turn, a smile softening his face and crinkling his eyes and, frankly, doing horribly things to your heart. You'd think after being with him for four years and married for one, your heart would stop performing an entire gymnastics routine every time he so much as looks at you but, here you are. 

“I'm just excited. I haven't seen Aaron and Julie in months,” you sigh, sagging into your seat and taking a generous sip of your smoothie because wow are you hungrier than you realised and you know your brother isn't the world's greatest cook. 

His face softens considerably and, if he wasn't driving (rather attractively might you add), you'd reach over and kiss his cute face. “I know, baby,” he says gently, reaching over and lacing his fingers with your unoccupied hand. The squeeze he gives you makes you smile and you're sure you're looking at him like he's the best thing in the world. Which isn't totally untrue though your niece would give him a considerable run for his money. 

“I'm sure they've missed you too,” he says, taking another familiar turn until you see a home you would recognise no matter where you were in the world. 

“I think you're right,” you say with a laugh when you spot Aaron holding Julie as he waves at you excitedly. The scene is absolutely ridiculous and you wonder how long he's been standing out here with her since you sent him the text that you and Joshua were on your way. It prompts affection to bloom to life in your chest nonetheless. 

The time flies by and before you know it you're practically sprinting out of your car to hug your brother and kiss your niece's adorable face. “I still can't believe you managed to have such a cute baby,” are the first words out of your mouth and you laugh at the disgruntled look that overtakes Aaron's face as he hands his daughter to you. In the back of your mind, you were worried that she'd forgotten who you were but, her small, gleeful noises and giggles let you know she's at the very least happy to see you even if she doesn't exactly know who you are. And that's more than enough for you. 

“Yeah, well we all know I got the good genes which is why I have the cutest daughter in the world,” he says, puffing his chest out proudly and grinning when his daughter smiles at him. Julie's arrival was definitely an…unexpected one but, Aaron stepped up all the same. The thought of him being a father even three years ago sounded insane but, looking at the man in front of you, you think fatherhood suits him well. 

“Oh please,” you scoff when Joshua finally joins the three of you after parking the car, “We'll see who really got the good genes when I have babies of my own,” you snark back, adjusting Julie on your hip. 

“What is this I'm hearing about babies?” Joshua asks with a laugh, greeting your brother who readily hugs him and flashes a friendly smile at your husband. 

“Nothing,” you snort, “Just some good, old-fashioned sibling bantering and, my dearest brother over here denying reality.”

You bite back a smile when Aaoron shoots you a fiery scowl that would terrify most people but, you've had decades to grow accustomed to him breaking it out. 

“Ah, the usual then,” Joshua replies, pointedly ignoring Aaron's betrayed ‘hey!’ in favour of softening his expression to say hi to Julie. 

“You know, I was just starting to like you,” Aaron says, voice dripping with faux hurt as he points an accusatory finger at Joshua who is far more interested in drawing one of those heartstopping smiles from the little girl resting on your hip. 

“Why do you have to lie? Like you weren't tripping over yourself when I first brought him over because you were so excited about having another guy to do “guy stuff with” in the family,” you retort with a raise of your eyebrow. Joshua opts not to get involved though you do hear his barely contained snicker as Aaron falters for an argument. 

“Anyway, why are we still outside? Is this how you treat your guests? Maybe invite us inside, Aaron.” His responding eyeroll takes you back and, it really hits you in moments like these just how long it's been since the two of you have had the opportunity to carve out the time to catch up. 

Thankfully, Aaron decides to just order lunch for everyone instead of subjecting you and Joshua to more of his catastrophes in the kitchen. You just hope baby food isn't too much of a challenge for him because you worry for your poor niece sometimes.

He picks Indian food, much to your surprise since your brother is horrible with spices. “The last time you were here, you were obsessed with that one Indian place a couple of streets down,” is all he offers in explanation as you help him unpack the food while Joshua plays with Julie on the living room floor. Affection warms you to the very tips of your fingers and you're sure you look like an absolute sap as he hands you the large stack of naan bread. 

“I love you,” is all you say in response because you do and it's been painfully long since you've last told him that in person. 

His laugh is surprised but, no less boisterous, “All that over food? Man, if I knew that's all it took to get an ‘I love you’ from you, I would have bribed you with food when we were children,” he jokes but, the fondness in his eyes betrays him. 

“You act like I'm not the one regularly saying ‘I love you’ between the two of us to begin with,” you retort, grabbing a few plates and setting them down on his dining table. 

“Whatever,” he huffs, “Josh, grab Julie and come have a seat. I have some soft carrots and peas, I'll warm up for her while the two of you dig in.” Joshua follows accordingly swooping the little girl in his arms dramatically and smiling when she giggles at the motion. Small hands clutching his hoodie. The sight prompts a combination of love, endearment and another emotion you can't quite put your finger on to stir within you. 

The two smile at each other all the way to the dining table where he carefully places her in her high chair. When his eyes meet yours, they're filled with far too many feelings for you to even hope to name right now. 

Lunch goes off without much of a hitch. The hours tick by quicker than you anticipate. Aaron tells you story after story about his construction job and his apparent imbecile of a boss that he's three seconds away from throttling on a given day. Julie doesn't cause too much of a fuss (she really might be the most well behaved one year old you've ever met in your life), even when Aaron tries to coax her into eating peas which she is not a fan of. 

“Let me try,” you offer eagerly and he lets you readily. With the right amount of cooing and high pitched talks of the food airplane, Julie gleefully lets you feed her the peas. The methods you used cutting the time it took Aaron to feed her in half and you try not to look too smug about it. Though his bitter ‘shut up’ tells you that you do a horrible job. Joshua, for his part, watches the entire exchange between you and your niece relatively silently aside from a few encouragements of his own directed towards her. He's still silent as you cover her entire face in kisses and praise her for eating her peas. 

You'd consider yourself great at reading your husband in most instances but, as you sit back in your chair and meet his eyes across from you, his entire expression is unreadable in a way that is reminiscent of the time where the two of you barely knew each other. 

Your stomach twists unpleasantly. 

The rest of your afternoon catching up with Aaron carries on uneventfully. It all comes to an end when Julie, rather loudly, makes it known that it's time for you and Joshua to make yourselves scarce with a yawn. 

“You heard her, get out,” Aaron jokes, scooping up the girl who can barely keep her eyes open and letting her rest on his shoulder. 

“You should be nicer to your guests, you know,” Joshua says as your brother walks the two of you to the door. A smile spreads across your face because you know a couple of years ago he would have never dared to speak to Aaron that way but, the two had gotten significantly friendlier thanks to your (what you would consider gentle) encouragement. 

“Calling you two guests is generous,” Aaron responds, doing his best to unlock the door with a slumbering toddler occupying his arm. “On a serious note, thanks for swinging by. I know work's been hell for both of you lately so, it means a lot,” it's rare seeing your brother be any amount of serious and sincere and, it always throws you for a loop momentarily. 

“Yeah, of course, man. We've both missed you and Julie tonnes. Your sister here was practically bouncing with excitement the entire drive here,” Joshua responds before you can search for something to say. He and Aaron laugh at your sputtering reaction. 

“Can't believe you'd throw me under the bus like that,” you say, shooting your husband a scowl that is nowhere near as intimidating as your brother's, “Anyway, we'll see you on Friday. Good luck with seeing mum tomorrow.” 

“Thanks,” he says with a long-suffering sigh, “I'll need it.” 

The three (four? Does a sleeping Julie really even count?) of you exchange some hugs before you answer Joshua are making your way to your rental car. 

The drive back to the hotel is…odd. The moment the two of you slip into your seats and buckle your seatbelts, the air in the car feels heavy for whatever reason and Joshua is noticeably quieter than he was minutes ago. 

It's jarring. 

“Hey Joshie, is everything okay?” You ask him after minutes of torturous silence. Hoping the usage of his favourite nickname will help defuse the tension. 

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine,” he responds, his forced attempt at sounding relaxed clear to your ears. 

What is going on? Did something happen back at Aaron's? He was happily interacting with Julie and making heaps of jokes with your brother. The three of you were barely apart so, you're sure if something happened between him and Aaron you would have either noticed it or picked up on it. 

The weird tension remains between the two of you the entire drive to the hotel. Joshua not attempting to make conversation or supply an explanation for his drastic mood change. Once it lasts all the way until the two of you are back in your hotel room, you know you can't deal with not knowing what's wrong. 

“Hey, did something happen at Aaron's?” You ask him as soon as he shuts the hotel door behind him. Your hands anxiously clench and unclench at your sides as you examine your husband's carefully reserved expression. Your heart drops to the gaudy carpet beneath your feet. 

“No, nothing happened,” he says as though he doesn't notice the blanket of tension enveloping both of you, “Why do you ask?” 

Why do you ask!? 

You can only stare at him with a mixture of disbelief and incredulity as he walks towards the kitchen of the hotel room. His tone is light and you can hear his attempts to sweep this under the rug. 

He must know the woman he married because there's no way you're about to let this odd, unexplained behaviour from him slide. 

“Joshua, look, I'm not trying to be pushy but, you're being very weird right now and it's kinda freaking me out. And I'd really like to know what's caused all of this,” you gesture between the two of you, “If you like need space, that's okay but, at least tell me that or just tell me something,” you rush out, watching his back tense underneath his hoodie as his steps halt. 

Silence fills the hotel room for what feels like forever, only adding to the anxiety coursing through you. When he finally turns to face you, thankfully, his face isn't as impenetrable as it was a couple of minutes ago but, the emotions you manage to catch do leave you a little surprised and thrown off. 

“Julie is really cute and you're really good with her,” are the first words he says and you're even more confused than you have been since the two of you got into the rental car to leave Aaron's. 

“Um yeah?” You say but, the questioning tilt to your voice is apparent because what is even going on right now? “Is that…a problem? Did Aaron say something?” 

The sigh that escapes his mouth is drawn out and frustrated and, for a horrifying second, you're worried something did happen between your husband and your brother that you didn't notice. 

“I think seeing the two of you together, how you interact with her, made me come to a lot of important realisations today,” he explains, his words are heavy and his eyes reflect an intensity that leaves you a little breathless. 

All you can do is blink at him, your brain attempting to understand what he's telling you. “What realisations did you come to?” You ask softly but, you know he heard you clearly. The strides he takes towards you are quick and, if you didn't know any better, you'd miss the quiet frenzy in his movements. 

Joshua is a controlled man. He always has been and, you strongly doubt that's an aspect of his personality that will ever change. Even in moments where people see him act more carefree and what they would consider to be impulsively, you know better. Everything is calculated and meticulously thought out by him. 

So, when he tilts your head upwards and descends his mouth onto yours, despite the nerves you can feel rolling off of him, you know that it's a very intentional move from him. And honestly, if you still didn't have a myriad of questions buzzing around in your skull, you'd happily allow yourself to melt against his talented mouth and sturdy body. 

However, you can't stop until you get to the bottom of this. 

“Joshu–”

“I want to have a baby.” 

All of your thoughts halt in your head and all you hear is one, long record scratch. It would be comical if it weren't for your husband just dropping that he wants to have a baby with you on you. Joshua watches you carefully but, all you can do is blink up at him owlishly because your husband just told you that he wants a baby with you. 

“Wha–What?” Is all you can splutter.  

“We have talked about it,” which is true. It's one of the major conversations the two of you had when you first started dating and you were on the same page, “And you're really good with Julie. She practically lights up around you,” he sighs dreamily, resting his forehead against yours, “and you should see yourself when you're around her. It's like…magic.” 

You think it's fundamentally unfair how quickly he's getting you onboard with this idea. 

A shudder runs through your body and anticipation replaces anxiety when he places his hands on your hips and tugs you impossibly close to him, “We could have that. For ourselves,” he mutters, kissing your forehead then your cheek then the cut of your jaw. Everything feels a little turned upside down right now and all your increasingly foggy brain can think to do is grab his hoodie in an attempt to make sense of what's happening. 

“I'd love to watch you be a mum,” he sighs with that same dreamy edge to his voice and you honestly think you might melt on this shitty hotel carpet, “I think–no, I know you'd be great at it.” 

“I think I'd be a decent dad,” he says with a laugh that's too self-deprecating for your liking. 

“You'd be a fantastic dad, Joshua,” you argue with a frown, cupping his face in your hands to ensure he knows you mean it. Because it's simply true in the same way that you know the sky is blue and that grass is green. The past hour may have been a whirlwind but, you'll be damned if you let him talk badly about himself. 

“We could always test it out instead of talking about hypotheticals,” he says and the soft expression colouring his face shifts to a more lecherous one. The sounds of your blood rushing through your veins and your heart thundering in your chest are all you hear for a second. 

“I'm still on the pill,” you blurt out and it just darkens the look on his face further. 

“Well, we'll just have to see how good it is then,” are his last words before he escapes your hold and crashes his lips against yours. It's a completely insane statement and, you both know it. Your birth control pills have proven to be extremely reliable since the two you decided to do away with condoms years ago. However, based on the way he's kissing and the way his fingers dig into your hips through the fabric of your dress, you doubt Joshua is operating on much rational thought at the moment. 

Joshua doesn't give you much time to breathe, let alone think. You move totally by instinct. Clutching at his broad shoulders while his hands drag themselves along your hips, squeezing them occasionally in a pattern only he recognises. 

“Have I ever told you how sexy your hips are?” He pants against your mouth, punctuating his query with a harsh squeeze and a grind of his gradually hardened cock against your stomach. 

“I– um, probably yeah,” you breathe once you manage to catch your breath. A relief that is short lived as Joshua drags his mouth from yours to dot kisses along your cheek until his full lips make contact with your jaw. The tease of his teeth pull quiet gasps from your lips and fuel the increasing wetness between your shaky thighs. 

“Probably, huh?” He muses into your skin, pushing you backwards to the bedroom, an action you dazedly follow along with because it's really difficult to think of anything but, him and the fact that he wants to have a baby with you right now. 

“I need to do a better job of driving that fact home.” 

You nearly trip once you cross the threshold of the bedroom door but, Joshua is there to steady you. Or, rather, press your body into his while he makes love to your throat and impatiently shuffles the both of you to the massive bed. 

Every brush of his lips and tongue on your neck sets your skin ablaze. Years of exploring and memorising your body have made it extraordinarily easy for him to know exactly what causes your clit to pulse and arousal to soak through the flimsy panties you hurriedly put on hours ago. 

One of his large hands weaves its way into your hair and a high pitched mix of a moan and a gasp fills the room when he tugs on it harshly. Your lidded eyes meet his and your tongue feels like it weighs a million tonnes reading all the emotions that swim in them. 

His mouth descends on yours while his other hand impatiently tugs on the zipper of your dress. Distantly, you're worried he'll break something with how hard he's pulling on it but, the thought vanishes into smoke when his tongue licks into your mouth and forces you not to think about anything that isn't him and feeling his cock twitch inside of your fluttering pussy. 

The straps slip from your shoulders and a whine sounding not dissimilar to a wounded animal falls from your lips when he steps away from you. Blinking your eyes open, you're met with an amused and lustful Joshua who takes a second to admire your scantily clad figure as your dress pools around you. 

“So needy,” he tuts, like you can't see his cock straining in his shorts and the way his pupils are totally blown out, “Won't even let me appreciate my gorgeous wife,” he sighs while stepping back towards you. The endearment softens you but, it doesn't dull the roaring in the core of your being. If anything, it has the opposite effect. 

It's always made you feel…a lot whenever he specifically refers to you as ‘my wife.’ You're sure he's picked up on the way it impacts you and, being the menace your husband is, he's grown especially fond of letting it slip out when he's moments away from nestling himself between your thighs or when he's already kissing your cervix. 

“I can't help it,” you reply, the whiney edge making him smirk in a way that's equal parts evil and attractive. Sometimes, you really can't stand him. 

“Poor baby,” he coos without an ounce of sincerity, stepping towards you. Anticipation sits in the pit of your stomach and, you happily let him lay you down on the bed, watching him with baited breath as he savors the sight of you. 

His kisses are more biting. The sensual movements of his lips and tongue replaced by teeth and spit and messiness that make your head spin. His stupidly large hands waste no time in unclasping your bra and throwing it somewhere to be forgotten on the hotel floor. 

“Fuck,” the rasped curse is uttered into your bruised mouth as his hands grope your tits in them, kneading them and thumbing your hardened nipples while you squirm underneath him. 

“Prettiest tits in the fucking world,” he groans like hasn't seen and touched them a million times, revelling in the way the mounds mold to his ministrations and the way your body arches every time he so much as brushes one of your overly sensitive nipples. 

“Can't wait to see how they fill with milk one day,” the confessions pulls a startled gasp from the depths of your chest but, he doesn't give you much time to dwell on it as he kisses down your neck, gracing it with a few nips until he reaches his destination. 

The moment his teeth sink into your flesh, stars dance behind your eyes and you have no choice but, to shut them. The sting shoots straight to the apex of your thighs, adding to the sticky mess between them while your hands move completely on autopilot to play with his soft locks while he savors every bit of you he can with his mouth. 

The bites and nips he litters your tits with fuel the foggy state of your already muddled mind. All you can think about is him and his fucking mouth and the cock you know is leaking in his shorts while he watches you shudder and rut against him every time he bites especially hard.

The stars behind your eyes explode when his mouth envelopes one of your nipples with his scorching mouth while the other is pinched and tugged on by his thick fingers. Joshua is content to watch you grow increasingly fucked out with his mouth alone for now. Normally, he'd give you a little more grief for closing your eyes but, he's in a generous mood today. 

Plus, your perfect tits are in his mouth and hands so, he can't be too upset. 

You can feel him grin into your skin when your entire body jolts as he grazes his teeth along your nipple. Typically warm eyes flashing with every miniscule movement and shuddering noise that passes from your thoroughly kissed lips. The pain from his blunt fingernails pressing into your skin is disorientating in the best way and, fuck, are you beyond wet right now. 

A mix of disappointment and relief wash over you when he frees your nipple with an obscenely loud pop. Your eyes flutter open to watch him as he kisses your tits one last time before descending down your body. Your blood turns molten in your veins with every kiss and light nip he provides your stomach and hips, his intimidating gaze never faltering until he reaches the waistband of your panties.

With faux curiosity, he presses two fingers experimentally into you, watching the way your panties stick to you and your thighs quiver around him. 

“Guess you're more into this whole baby idea than you let on,” he muses, swapping his fingers for his thumb and rubbing random patterns against your clit. The pressure is dizzying. Your head snapping back and a drawn out whimper of his name piercing through the hotel bedroom. A few presses from his thumb is all it takes for your thighs to threaten to shut but, you know better. 

“Please, Joshie, I'm–” any further, breathless rambling is cut off by a moan as he presses his thumb more harshly into your swollen clit, his weighted gaze drinking in the way you further ruin your pretty panties and soil his thumb. 

“Please what?” He asks, glancing up at you with a facade of reservation before his ravenous eyes focus their attention back on toying with your beautiful pussy and making a mess out of you.

All he does is laugh at the frustrated huff you let out before removing his hand from your ruined panties. 

“No!” you gasp desperately, shooting a wide eyed, betrayed look at him, “Wh–Why?” 

“You know better, sweetheart,” he coos condescendingly, the tone not helping the incessant throbbing of your clit, “Good girls don't complain. Good girls use their words to say what they want.” 

All your horny brain can cling to is the desire to cum and be his good girl. Thankfully, you still have enough executive functioning to articulate yourself and your wants. Well, at least somewhat. 

“Joshie, I wanna cum. Please. Wanna be good and cum on your fingers,” you whine, tilting your hips up towards him and hoping you provide tantalising enough of a sight for your husband to just give you want. 

Based on the way his tongue runs along his bottom lip and his eyes flash, you've at least chipped away at his resolve somewhat. 

“Good girl,” he praises, “See? That wasn't so hard,” he tuts, grasping the bottom of his hoodie and tugging it off. Your lips part and your pussy clenches when his bare chest is exposed to you. If you weren't so focused on watching the way his muscles flex and contort with his every move, you'd notice the combination of smugness and amusement on his face. 

Blinking up at him in a daze, you wonder when he moved but, his mouth descending on yours intensely coupled with the way one of his hands cups you over your ruined panties evaporates the thought. You're just happy he's touching you at all. 

Joshua swallows your stuttered gasp greedily. Rutting against your thigh as his fingers drag your panties to the side and he shoves three of them into you without much resistance. It's hard to tell who moans louder at the intrusion (probably you, if you're being honest). He knows you can take it. You can take much more but, the stretch of his long, thick fingers is disorientating after what feels like hours of being wet for him. 

“Josh–Joshie,” you pant against his mouth, your eyes rolling into the back of your head when he fucks you on his fingers without abandon. No buildup. No teasing. Simply, brutally curling his fingers against the spots inside you he knows will have your toes curling and an entire galaxy dancing beneath your barely open eyes. 

“Hear that?” He asks between ragged breaths into your ear, timing his question with his fingers pushing back into and the lewd squelch reaching your ears and warming your face considerably. It's not that you necessarily feel embarrassed about how much you want Joshua but, hearing the evidence is an entirely different story. 

“Hear how wet your pretty pussy gets for me?” He practically moans into your ear and combined with the way his fingers drag along your wet walls, god, it's a lot. All you can do is squeeze your eyes shut and whimper out what you hope sounds like a confirmation to his ears. 

The tension in the pit of your stomach grows tenfold when he nips at your earlobe and introduces his thumb into the mess between your thighs. Moving completely on instinct, your hands desperately clutch at his forearm when he presses his thumb to your clit and draws an array of patterns that only make sense to him into it. “Fuck,” he hisses into your skin as his fingers don't falter in the slightest, drawing the most wanton sounds from you, “It's fucking crazy how wet you get. Gushing all over my hand and the poor sheets. What do you think the staff will think when they notice how soaked the sheets are? Think they'll wonder just how slutty of a pussy Mrs. Hong has?” 

The edges of your vision blur and your mouth hangs open letting out whimpers that increase in volume. Your orgasm is so close that you can practically taste it on the very tip of your tongue. Joshua doesn't seem all that bothered with the way your nails bite into his skin as he continues to bring you closer and closer to the precipice with every curl of his fingers and press of his thumb. 

Until he stops and pulls his hand away from your pussy. 

“Wha–”you gasp at him in confusion and frustration, your hips completely moving on their own in search of any friction to soothe your painfully throbbing clit and walls that clench and unclench harshly around a sudden nothingness. Blinking up at him through bleary eyes, the look on his face drags a whine out of you. A whine that only really makes the corners of his mouth tug upwards further. 

“Come on baby,” he coos, kissing your neck and running his fingers along your sticky folds. He's barely doing anything but, the brush of his fingers against your clit coupled with the faintest bit of friction have you reeling and grabbing at him again as weak moans fill the space between the two of you. 

“You know how much I love playing with you,” he tuts, using those same fingers to add pressure to your clit and nearly send your thighs snapping shut around his arm. The sensation sends your head lolling backwards, giving Joshua ample skin to bite while he works you up to a frenzy. Again.

“It's no fun if you just get to cum so easily,” he mutters, his smirk burning itself into your skin while you try not to cry from the frustration that scorches your insides as his fingers draw an array of patterns into your clit. You'd snark back a response if your brain wasn't melting in your skull and leaking out of your ears at the moment. All you can do is hope your watery eyes and fractured whimpers are enough for him to go easy on you. 

“Don't look at me like that,” he says with a breathless laugh, kissing the corner of your mouth while his fingers pick up the pace and cause your stomach to drop as the tension builds again. “You know how sexy you look when you cry,” he groans, watching your face intensely as his fingers continue to make your eyes roll and your thighs shake violently around them. 

“I–Please please please, can I cum? Ple–” your begging is cut off by a sharp gasp, “Ah Josh–Joshie please, I'm so close.” 

He doesn't give you an answer. Electing instead to maintain the strokes of his fingers and coaxing you to the proverbial edge once again while he watches you struggle not to fall apart underneath him. Joshua knows you better than the back of his hand. He knows you're close just from the way your nails claw into his skin and your eyes can barely stay focused on anything. From the way the heartbeat in your clit hammers against his fingers and your wetness dribbles onto the hotel sheets. From the way you stumble over every word that isn't his name and pleads to cum. If anything, he's impressed you've managed to hold yourself together this long. 

Too bad he enjoys toying with you too much. 

This time a wobbly sob does fall from your lips and you can feel a few, stray, hot tears streaming down your face when he removes his hand again. All you can do is lay there as you attempt to chase the relief of his fingers pathetically. Your pussy once again left painfully fluttering as the promise of an orgasm is viciously ripped away from you. Joshua kisses you before you can whine at him again. It's a messy and deeply uncoordinated kiss, his desire pouring out of him in waves while you try and kiss him back as best as you can. 

“So fucking hot,” he grits into your mouth as he rustles with something, “So hot and wet and needy just for me. Fuck, if you keep looking at me like that, I just might cum before I even fuck you,” he rushes out. Just the thought of that causes you to shake your head and whine into his mouth, clutching at his bare shoulders in desperation. 

His laugh is deep and attractive and it makes you want him even more somehow, “Don't worry, baby,” he soothes, positioning himself between your thighs, “I'll make sure to fill you up nice and good.” 

The press of his tip against your dripping entrance sends a shudder down your entire body. ‘When did he get his cock out?’ you wonder in a daze, using a considerable amount of effort to watch the way he grasps his fat cock in his hand and drags it along your puffy, dripping pussy. 

“We've been together for years and I still can't believe how wet this pussy gets for me,” he mutters to what you assume is himself but, you hear him all the same. You genuinely think you might lose your mind if he doesn't just push into you right now. 

“Joshie,” you half-whimper, half-sob, “I'm so–I want it, please. Did–Didn't you say you were going to ah fuck a baby into me?” 

The storm of emotions that flashes across his face causes the claws of anticipation to dig at your insides. A startled noise is forced out of you when he sinks his cock into you with one, sharp snap of his hips. The sting is minimal but, present. A few more stray tears fall from your eyes as you try to adjust to the toe-curling stretch. Holy shit. You don't think you'll ever quite be over the way his first thrust always sends you reeling. 

“So tight,” he grits out, heavy eyes shifting from watching the way your face morphs into expressions he's seen a million times and will happily drink in a million times more to the way his cock forces you open, “I think you might have gotten tighter somehow. If you wanted me to get you pregnant, all you had to do was ask,” he says with an arrogant laugh. You don't really have much room to argue when he draws more pitchy whimpers from you and you can feel the way you clamp down around him. 

“You–You're the one who told me that ah god you want a baby,” you gasp out in response, your tongue lolling out of your mouth when he harshly grabs your thigh with his massive hand. 

“True,” he concedes, using his other hand to grasp your chin, smearing your wetness on your face and forcing you to meet his eyes that threaten to swallow you whole, “But don't pretend like you're not as into this as I am. I can feel the way your pussy keeps trying to milk my cock and the way you're gushing onto it.” 

His fingers are in your mouth before you can respond. The taste of yourself invading your senses, adding to the haze clouding your mind and making your clit throb as you chase the taste of yourself. 

Your hands fly to his broad back when he uses his other hand to slip between your overheated, sweaty bodies to find your clit. Not giving you a second to catch your breath, he draws frenzied circles into you that send you keening around his fingers and your eyes rolling into the back of your skull. 

“I want you to cum,” he orders, panting into your ear before freeing your mouth from his fingers, “Wanna feel you make a mess on my cock,” he says between heavy breaths while his fingers and cock and words and just him bring you increasingly close to the edge at breakneck speed. 

It's an especially hard press of his fingertips that finally sends you careening over the edge he's been pushing you towards and pulling you back from for god knows how long now. Your entire body seizes and for what feels like ages all you can see is white. Distantly, you can hear Joshua saying something but, you couldn't hope to make out what it is. The bliss sending you to another dimension entirely, furthered by him not stopping his thrusts all the while. 

“–Yeah, good fucking girl,” are the first words you manage to catch as the white disapates and you somewhat return to your body, the sounds of skin slapping against skin and the obscene squelching of his cock bullying your still fluttering pussy hitting your eardrums. Blinking up your teary eyes up at him, desire prods at your gut despite just cumming, seeing the way his sweaty bangs shadow his blown out eyes that have never left your face the entire time you were cumming. 

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a passionate kiss. A kiss he readily allows himself to get lost in as his fingers dig into your hips to keep you in place to take every one of his unrelenting thrusts.

“Want one more from you,” he pants into your lips, “Wanna feel you cum one more time before I fill up this pretty pussy,” he heaves, eyes totally glassy and nothing but, ocean deep lust reflected in them. 

“Don–Don't ah fuck know if I can any–anymore,” you whimper in response because, yeah, you really don't know if you can. You feel thoroughly rung out right now. The sparks from your orgasm are still going zipping off all over your body, fuelled by every brush of his cock against your walls and his mouth on you. 

“Of course you can, baby,” he coaxes, his hands drifting from your hips to your thighs, forcing them upwards and his cock impossibly deeper.  The depth sends your head snapping back and a choked gasp echoes through the bedroom, joining the myriad of nasty sounds ringing through it. 

“So–So deep,” you whimper, overwhelmed tears not helping in the slightest to cool your burning face. “Yeah?” He breathes, his pace unrelenting, “Gonna cum all over this fat cock? Gonna make a mess on it like the good girl I know you are?”

God. How are you not going to cum when he talks to you like that while he fucks you like that?

“Ye–Yeah,” you moan, the familiar zip of electricity courses through your entire body when he snaps his hips into you harshly, sending his tip straight into a part of you that sends your back arching, “Clo–Close. Gonna cum. Wanna cum on your big cock, Joshie.” 

“Shit,” he groans, smashing his lips against yours in a kiss that is mostly teeth and tongue, “Fuck. Your pussy is so good. It's out of this world,” he heaves, his strokes growing sloppy but, he pushes through as best as he can, “Wanna watch you.” 

The chord snaps before you even realise how slenderly it was holding on. 

Joshua greedily swallows every watery moan of his name and whatever else your fucked out brain babbles out. Large hands gripping your thighs harshly as his pace grows increasingly unsteady with every stroke he gives you as you cum all around him, gushing onto his throbbing cock. 

“Yeah, that's it,” he groans, “Cum all over me. Such a good girl, such a good pussy. Gonna make me cum so hard. Cum until you're so full that my cum is leaking out of you for weeks. Gonna get you all nice and round and pregnant with my baby,” he rambles deliriously, his cock pulsing wildy inside of you with every thrust. 

“Want it,” you cry in response, “I want it, Joshie. Want your cum. Want your baby.” 

The moan that falls from Joshua's full lips is broken and drawn out. His grip on your thighs border on bruising as he keeps you in place (as if you would go anywhere if you could even move right now) so you have no choice but to accept the ropes of cum he floods your still spasming pussy with. The warmth that fills you draws soft whimpers from you. You're always left in awe with just how much he cums. 

A quiet groan leaves your body when he drops his weight onto you, panting against your shoulder as his cock softens inside of you and his grip on your sweaty body loosens. He's heavy but, you're empathetic because your own body feels like it weighs the same as an adult elephant right now. For the moment, you're content to bask in the intimacy of mind-blowing sex. You'll nudge him off of you when it becomes too difficult to breathe. 

Your fingers move on their own, rubbing his back and smiling when he tiredly hums in appreciation. Returning your affection with featherlight kisses pressed into your shoulder. 

It might have been five minutes or fifteen or thirty but, eventually, Joshua eases himself out of you and rolls off of you. You can't help the quiet laugh that you let out when he groans at the effort before tugging you into his side. 

“So,” he starts, the scratchy quality of his voice washing over you like a warm blanket, “having a baby, huh?”

All you can do is snort very unattractively in response.

Reblogs are greatly appreciated.

Do not repost, edit, copy and/or translate my work. I do not give you my permission to do so, nor will you ever receive it.

Seventeen Masterlist | Ko-Fi

[waldau-archived]

hii i would like to request a fake dating scoups x reader au where the reader falls first but coups falls harder <3 thank u!

here you go anon, hope you like this :)

reset — choi seungcheol | 2,008 words | fluff, hurt/comfort

cheol brainrot go brrrr

gender neutral reader. warnings: none.

technically speaking, the party’s going fine.

despite how much you want to hate it, it’s going the way parties do. there’s music, there’s alcohol, there’s your own corner if you want to tune out the sound of everything else, and there’s seungcheol’s friends. he’s spent at least half an hour introducing you to everyone — you’ve met a lot of them before, but there’s still some new ones. there’s always new ones.

and even though they’ve been nothing but polite to you, engaging you in conversation and making an effort to learn more about you, you can’t shake off the feeling that this isn’t really where you’re supposed to be.

you don’t know who you were kidding when you agreed to be his fake date for the party. he’s already had a ton of people hanging onto him throughout the course of the night. you’re not sure why he even bothered asking you. he could have asked his manager to find someone that would actually match with him, and maybe create a big splash if it made it to the news.

instead, he’d asked you out.

it won’t make a difference in the news, anyway, he’d said, like he wasn’t aware of the way he shattered your heart with those words. like it was common knowledge that nobody could even imagine the two of you together. like it wasn’t worth anyone’s time or imagination, most of all his.

suddenly, you find the sounds in the room too loud to bear. it’s not the first party you’ve been to, but it’s the first one where you’ve felt truly alone. you’re glad you haven’t touched your drink yet.

no one’s really paying attention to you exclusively, and you’re okay with nodding along and throwing in an occasional response here and there. but then it’s not okay, anymore. you shouldn’t have to be here in the first place, on this stupid fake date you agreed to because of your little crush on seungcheol.

okay, maybe it’s not just a little crush. but the point is that you shouldn’t have to be here hurting your feelings in order to spend a little time with him.

you excuse yourself under the pretense of having to take a call and head towards the balcony. joshua, one of seungcheol’s closest friends, comes up to ask you if everything’s okay. you’ve been friends with him for long enough that he can tell when you're fine and when you're not, but you give him a look that hopefully conveys you want him to let this slide.

“seungcheol mentioned this isn’t really your thing, so let him know if you want to go home. i know he’ll be okay with that.”

you nod wordlessly, words of gratitude stuck in your throat. what seungcheol tells you is true — joshua is just too damn perceptive.

you feel like you can finally take a better breath when the door shuts behind you, separating you from everyone else. the cold air makes you feel better, even if it’s beginning to seep into your skin because of the outfit you’ve worn.

it doesn’t matter, though. you need a bit of a reset.

somehow, it hardly takes four minutes before you feel someone behind you. and it’s not just anyone.

“do you have a death wish or something?”

you choose not to grace him with an answer.

“hey,” seungcheol prompts when you don’t reply. “what’s up?”

“shouldn’t i be asking you that?”

seungcheol steps to your side and looks at you. even though you’re gazing down at the empty road sparsely dotted with streetlights, you can feel his gaze pierce you.

“do you want to go home?” he asks softly.

it hurts. he shouldn’t be this considerate to you and then not like you back. it can't just be one without the other.

“i don’t know, do you?”

he sighs. “okay. i don’t know what i’ve done wrong, but i can tell you’re not comfortable right now. are you done for tonight?”

you shake your head. “i don’t want you to leave because of me. it seemed like you were having fun back there.”

“and you weren’t,” he replies, reading between the lines.

“it doesn’t matter, okay? it’s not your fault i’m not having fun.”

“that’s not how this works,” seungcheol stresses, stepping forward to grip your arms and recoiling a bit. “you’re cold.”

you shrug. another thing that’s not gone well today.

seungcheol takes off his jacket and hands it to you without any hesitation, but you don’t take it. you can’t keep living in your little daydream, living on moments where you think he might love you just a bit more than he would a friend. one of you needs to break the cycle, and if it’s going to be you, you’re prepared.

“seriously, what is wrong with you?” he asks, soft but sharp. you finally look him in the eyes. he has that gaze — the one where it looks like he knows exactly what you’re thinking about. it scares you sometimes, the way he’s so accurate. he must have picked up something from joshua over the years.

“nothing’s wrong with me, cheol,” you say, slightly bitter. “just because i don’t want your jacket doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.”

"you're right, i'm sorry," he says, taking a step closer to you. "i shouldn't have said it like that. but...it's not just about the jacket. at first i thought i caught you on an off day, but you seemed fine till we got here. i don’t know what happened after that. are you hungry? did someone say something to you? do you need me to punch anyone?”

you give him an exasperated look. “you’d punch someone if i asked?”

“in a heartbeat. i thought you knew that by now.”

“and if i was wrong?”

“you’re never wrong when it comes to things like these. and i’d forgive you even if you were.”

"you're too trusting, you know that?"

"well," seungcheol says, lowering the jacket. but it's still in front of you, still on offer. "you're my best friend. i think you have some privilege."

you hate the earnestness in his voice as much as you love it. “i know. sorry.”

“don’t apologize, sweetheart. tell me what’s wrong, and tell me how i can fix it. i’ll do anything.”

“it’s…nothing you can do,” you say, turning away from him. it's most definitely not in his control, but it’s not your fault for loving him, either.

“how will you know if you don’t try?”

“you just know some things, cheol. trust me on that.”

“yeah? like i know you’re hiding something from me right now? something that’s eating my best friend up, and i don’t even know what to do to help?”

again. those two words. they tear you up from the inside just as much as they hold you together. you can’t help the sharp feeling in your throat which indicates tears might be on the way. you're just frustrated at the unfairness of it all. if only life was a little kinder.

seungcheol, ever perceptive, notices immediately. “sweetheart? it’s something i did, isn’t it? something i said?”

you shake your head, not wanting tears to well up.

“don’t lie to me,” he says, draping the jacket over your shoulders and pulling you into his embrace. you push him away, even though you whole body wants nothing more than to be with him.

“please tell me?”

you take in a breath, the cold night air stinging your nose. “you said something.”

“what was it?”

“you said it wouldn’t make a…difference, if i was your date,” you say, focusing so much on not crying that your voice is barely audible to your own ears. “you said it like no one would care if we were together. like it wouldn’t affect you in any way. like i’m just…your best friend. and no one can see me as anything more.”

seungcheol sucks in a sharp breath. “can i hold you? please?”

you almost refuse, but decide otherwise. you’ve spilled out your mind to him, anyway. the least you deserve is a hug from him.

“i’m so fucking sorry,” he breathes into your hair, his arms looped around your waist and holding you close to him. “i didn’t— i’d never say something like that. that’s not what i meant when i said it.”

“then what did you,” mean, you mean to ask, but your breath gets swept away when he presses a kiss to your head.

“it’s just…everyone knows how close we are,” he says, hand gently running up and down your back. “i thought people wouldn’t bat an eye if they assumed we were dating, you know. i know people who already think we are. or…that we should.”

you look up at him at that. he looks serious about what he’s saying, but also shy, like he doesn’t want you looking at him when he’s speaking.

“people?”

“some of my close friends.”

that's news to you. “so you don’t mind…people thinking we’re a thing? or thinking we should be?”

“of course not,” he says, holding you with one hand and tracing your cheekbone with the other. you fall for him just a bit more, right there. “anyone would be lucky to have you. i’d be the luckiest guy to have you.”

he just says things like that, and it makes you wonder if he really means them. so you decide to push him this time, and see where it goes. and blame it on your nerves and the drink you never had if things don’t go well. “would you?”

“want to have you?”

you nod, breath trapped in your throat.

“yeah,” he breathes out, leaning forward and tucking his chin in your shoulder.

you swear your world stops for just a second. you’re hardly even aware that he’s leaning on you now.

"yeah as in?"

“i’d like you to take you out for a real date. if you’ll let me.”

you pull away to look at seungcheol. he’s blushing, but he’s not looking away.

"if i'll let him, he says."

"well?" seungcheol lifts a hand to fix your hair.

“this isn’t a joke?”

he steps back and rubs his face, probably in an attempt to brace himself for whatever he wants to say. it doesn’t work. you like him like this, you think. with his hair messy and his eyes shy.

“of course not. i’d never joke about something like this. especially when it’s you.”

you should be the one who's shy and blushing, and yet there's nowhere else you'd rather look. “what made you…”

seungcheol takes your hands. they're a warm contrast to your cold ones. “i’ve been wrestling with it for a while, and i never told you because i didn’t want things between us to be weird. but i couldn’t keep faking it after i saw you tonight. you look so good, it’s been killing me.”

you shake him off to loop your arms around his neck and pull him down to you, feeling a bit braver. “so if i told you i wanted to leave right now…”

he swallows loud enough for you to hear. “we’d be out of here right now.”

you stand on your tiptoes to bring yourself to his height and place a little kiss on his nose.

he pouts. “that’s it? that’s all i get after confessing to you?”

“i don’t want our first kiss to be in front of an audience, cheol.”

seungcheol smiles. “fair. but i don’t know how much longer i can wait now.”

“you’re going to have to ask me out for real, you know.”

“but you haven’t told me you like me back yet,” seungcheol says. you can hear the whine in his voice and it makes you laugh a bit.

“you need to hear me say it?”

“of course i do! i've spent weeks thinking about tonight.”

“aren't you lucky, then?" you tease.

“the luckiest,” he says solemnly.

it's your turn to blush now.

taglist: @bookyeom @wootify @strnsvt @cloudycaramel @thepoopdokyeomtouched @minnieminshi

[svt-kiki]

( 🖇️ ) RELATIONSHIPS WITH HYUNG LINE ⌅ .

기키 + 승철　／　KICHEOL

🍒 ── 99% ... old married couple *for real*

everyone can see they love each other

he can be the sea and she’ll be the ship that floating on it

every time he needs to play the 'scary eldest' role, she always felt sorry bc she knew she can’t do it ( she’s too pacifist for that )

kiki is his no.1 listner for whatever his thoughts are

they basically tie the knot already *blinks*

his parents basically adopts her lol

the reason why they have such a strong bond is not only they share the most trainee days with another

but they keep fighting to protect the group and members before and after the debut

seungcheol: *being sulky*

kiki: *judging side eye*

honestly she wasn’t totally sweetheart for him from the beginning ( not in the public eye i mean )

more like teased and pretended like judging him

but after he got into hiatus in 2019 ( it was HER darkest time too ) she just went like “f*ck that, i won’t stop expressing my love for him anymore”

well it’s always appearant that he goes down on her knees like-

not only within the group but recognized as one of the strongest ships among the kpop industry

the ‘knights line’ 1/3 - such a protective of her all the time

기키 + 정한　／　KIHANI

🐰 ── 80% ... devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

kiki in the most of gose : IM WATCHING U YOON JEONGHAN *in mute*

she pretends like she was offended by his cheating in the contents

but she’s the one who always cheers him and giving compliments

“u got this jeonghanna!” “u did so well~ i’m proud of u :)”

she always trust him through the trainee era, support him for both dancing and mentally

she knew he’s kinda type to get nervous often

so she always has his back, says something nice, holds his hands

and is she his soft spot? OBVIOUSLY

he always treats her meals and little gifts like sweets, cosmetics and accessories

she really takes care of his long hair bc if she doesn’t who does

late night walks, hanging out at the park

mostly she’s kinda ‘good girl’ type but when with him, her ‘devil mode’ would be activate ( and seungcheol would cry at the end )

jeonghan: *speaks japanese*

kiki: *proud mom*

personal space [ 404-not-found ]

well he kisses to her cheecks ... and forehead ... and top of the head ... and back of the hand ... ( and list continues )

when he turns low buttery mode, he goes towards her and either leans on her shoulder or rests his head on her lap ( mostly be witnessed in the concerts )

sometimes they are the completely opposite, but the other time share the same energy

기키 + 조슈아　／　KISHUA

🦌 ── 85% ... the mf soulmates

like i said, SOULMATES. that’s it, that’s the tweet

they’re like puzzle pieces ⸺ get along well bc it’s different

he brings out her active energy

she learned the guitar from him

and handles his silent chaotic energy pretty well lol

they always make plans and daydream abt trips they want to go

sometimes josh stans confirm he’s alive through her social media

joshua: *planning something crazy*

kiki, whispering: DON’T ( he’ll do it anyway 🤷🏻 )

cafe dates, drive dates, movie nights

his mom lowkey hopes for kiki to be a daughter-in-law which is never gonna happen lmao

he came up with ‘kit kat’ as her nickname

and yes, the treatment is sweet as the treat ;)

he normally acts like a twin but never forgets the gentle behavior as the gentleman should

especially in the beginning, she prefers not to be treated exceptional cuz she’s the only female member, but his manner and considerate changed it slowly ( and surely in a good way )

he’s kind of the friend who doesn’t say the words such as “oh r u okay” “i’m worried about u” out loud often but always there for her and take her to the night driving when she got stuck

기키 + 준　／　KIJUN

🐱 ── 70% ... the cat and the lion ( aka the owner )

they have the most pure kind of love

he has always been her protector in the airports and clouds

THE VISUAL

she really looking forward to go to shenzhen one day and visit all the places he wants to take them

she’s always so proud abt his acting career and calls him the movie star, now she’s too

and her secret dream is to costar with him one day

he never forgets to escorts her in the award shows and concerts, helping her in stairs, no hesitation to do arm in arm, lends her jacket if he worries she’s revealing too much of her bare skin for gowns ( in his eyes )

many skinships !!

they always share a bite to the other, both LOVE to have tasty foods and willing to let the one try

his little brother always wanna talk to her when he was a kid ( lowkey childhood crush ) then now he’s totally shy about that past and tries to avoide her when jun did the facetime and let the lil bro talk to her just to tease him

he won’t say anything until she went too far and overwork through days, but once he felt okay that’s enough he’ll just kidnapp her to the bedroom and tuck her in bed and like SLEEP

the ‘knights line’ 2/3 - he behaves like a cat playing with dearest owner and sending a nonverbal message to people around them like “ don’t look at her like that she’s OURS ”

기키 + 순영　／　KISOON

🐯 ── 70% ... conqurer of the stage

everybody clear the way, the MAIN DANCERS are coming thru

but they really are THE all rounder, multi talented, just good at everything

they created their own handshake

she’s a secret no.1 supporter of horanghae

but she also LOVES his hamster pelsona, enjoys silently when it popped out randomly

in fact he is the reason that she determinded to be an idol for sure ⸺ she entered to pledis without firm belief about her future profession, but after his entry she was so impressed by his skills despite the gap of dance training experience. moreover, he was so sure about his future, to becoming the idol as his dream, and she just woke up as if she’d been slapped on the cheek like “what the hell i was thinking, of course i’ll be the idol too”

and he always admires her as a dancer and the respective person. he dreamed of not just being an idol, but standing on stage next to her since they met

surprisingly they quarrel most among the ship of kiki and members, but all of them are professional argument as they are in charge of choreographing and stage creation

and they always made up at the end of a day by eating ice pop side by side

he’s the one who encouraged her to do it when the other idol group reached out to her for their choreography production cos he believes in her talent more than anyone just as she does

both have hUGE gap between on and off stage, when they go hard it’s HARD 🔥🔥🔥 but otherwise they can be softest marshmallows

기키 + 원우　／　KINWOO

🐈‍⬛ ── 85% ... the book fairies

he’s nearly worshipping her *ships tea*

it’s not a big secret that she’s his first love ( at first sight )

and after all these years, she’s still the woman of his dreams

yall know wonwoo wasn’t really talkable person at first but more shy and quiet

well same things can say to her

so she understood his silent and calm yet passionate personality

and kiki really stood by his side and just being his comfort space

she listens to him well, even he express his thoughts into words not that much

she always recommends his glasses and he’ll buy her choice without HESITATION lol

they can spend whole time together without chattng, just reading or sleeping alnogside

and it’s so CUTE

he gave the camera to her for the birthday present, and it made her enjoying to take photos more than ever and he loves the influence he made on her

art museum date, hanging out in the night town and ww just keeps taking photo of her

they have a ritual as they go to the night walk when the group is off to the overseas in tours, strolling the town and find the cozy cafes

she can notice whenever he is stressed or gets nervous and so does he, she often pats his back in those situation and it comforts him really well

u can see ww stares her a LOT in behind contents or gose ( he literally gave up to hide his affection at this point )

tries to teach her how to play pc games but fails everytime

기키 + 지훈　／　KIHOON

🍚 ── 55% ... the vocal boss and the dance queen

trust me, they ARE strong. it’s just not as aloud as others

woozi found japanese beatuful at first bc it’s the language she spoke

and kiki loves the words and lyrics he weaves, his korean is like a poet to her

he doesn’t wanna admits outspokenly but it’s hard to say she hasn’t owned the special ( and soft ) place in his heart

even makes him to do slightest physical contacts: pinches her sleeves, fiddles with her hair, plays with her earrings... and the list continues

kiki’s the one takes care him when he starts to get stuck in the studio for the work

takes him to the short walk, late night drives, make him foods and be sure he gets rest

sometimes they just sit together in the universe factory and chats about the song, anime and composing stuffs, eats takeouts and sessions or duets randomly

she joins as a recording direction besides him time to time, esp in the jp songs recording: she’s the lyricist of the jp songs is one of the reasons but also she has the good ears and able to hear the subtle difference like he does

woozi: *points out the differences* others: okay but WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE kiki: ??? wasn’t it obvious...???

well apparently she’s the closest female to him on the planet ( except his family ofc )

he rarely calls her noona but mostly just calls her kiki, there’s no paticular reason it’s just what it is

(    📁    )   :   NAVI   :  MASTER LIST     

( tag list / open ) : @smh-anon

[smileysuh]

Filthy

🌙 staring. Joshua & Jeonghan x afab!Reader

🔮 synopsis. There’s something long and hard rubbing against your ass, and you can’t help but pull away from Joshua to drop your favourite lawyer pickup line to the man behind you; “Is that a gavel in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?” “Both,” Jeonghan practically purs, his mouth hot against your neck. “Think you can handle it?”

tw/cw. threesome, unprotected sex, multiple sex scenes, blow job, shower sex, double penetration, butt stuff, use of a judge's gavel as an anal sex toy, lube, praise, degradation, dirty talk, spanking, cock warming, fingering, hand riding, slight roleplay, beefy/size kink Joshua, polyamory, breast play, masturbation, 'full' kink, etc... I petnames. (hers) gorgeous, baby, filthy little whore.

👹 rating.18+ explicit I wc. 6.8k

🍭 aus. Lawyer!Jihan, polyamory, established relationship, etc…

☀️ mlist + an. the Joshua/Jeonghan pairing always does something to me, and now it can do something to you too. special thank you to @junkissed for helping me figure this fic out :)

It’s nights like these where you have to be very secure in yourself to be in a relationship with not one but two of the top lawyers in your city. Evenings spent cooking dinner in the hope they’ll be able to make it home in time to eat with you often end up with you feeling a little lonely and picking at your food, two seats empty at your table.

You have to remind yourself that this is their job, that they try their best, and when they do finally come home, you have to greet them with a smile. There’s no room for blame on nights like these. 

“Sorry we’re so late, gorgeous,” Jeonghan apologizes immediately when they arrive home, setting down his briefcase and opening his arms to pull you into an embrace. One of his hands moves up to cup your cheek, and the kiss he places on your lips lingers. “The litigation team found an entire file of information that’s applicable to the court hearing tomorrow.”

“We just spent three hours going over it,” Joshua sighs, hanging his coat up in the closet.

The younger of your boyfriends looks much more tired than Jeonghan does, but Joshua’s always had a lower tolerance for unexpected turns in cases. You know he must have been seething when they discovered the file, and your heart goes out to him.

“That sounds rough,” you say sympathetically, turning your attention to the beautiful, exhausted man. “What can I do to help?” you ask as you begin to pepper kisses along his jaw, working your way to his pretty lips. “Are you hungry?”

“We ate at the firm,” Jeonghan tells you. “Soonyoung went out and got us all burgers.”

You smile at the mention of your long time friend, he’s one of their errand boys, and it sounds like none of your close acquaintances have had a good night. Sure, a part of you deflates a little- you’d prepared their meals, and the food is still waiting for them in the kitchen, but you suppose that’s easy clean up.

“I guess you two will be wanting to go to bed,” you sigh. “You’ve both got to get up at six, right?”

“I’m sorry,” Joshua matches your exacerbated tone, and he’s frowning while looking down at you. “I know you hate it when we miss dinner.”

“It’s alright,” you assure him, gently smoothing your hands along his broad chest before giving him a small pat and pulling away. “This is part of the job. I’ve got to go put the food away.”

“We should have texted you,” Jeonghan offers, “but it was a mad scramble at the firm.”

“Like I said, it’s alright,” you smile softly. “You’ve had long days, go relax, I’ll meet you in the bedroom when I’m done in the kitchen.”

With a nod, Joshua heads down the hall, but Jeonghan lingers. “I’ll help you clean up,” he tells you after a moment of consideration.

“Thank you.” 

The two of you relocate to the kitchen. It’s late, and like your boyfriends, you’re also moving a little slower than normal. 

It helps to have another set of hands, even if they’re on your hips while Jeonghan presses himself against your back. “Looks like you made a great dinner tonight, gorgeous. I’m extra sorry we missed it.”

“You really don’t have to keep apologizing,” you laugh, carefully putting the food into containers to be put in the fridge. “Besides, you can eat it tomorrow for lunch or something.”

“What would we do without you?” Jeonghan’s lips are on your neck, and the gentle kisses almost tickle, making your smile widen. 

“Eat bad food or starve?” you suggest.

Jeonghan grins against your throat. “Lucky we have you then, hmm?”

“Very lucky,” you agree. 

“Listen, I’m going to go have a shower…” Jeonghan holds you tighter, and you can feel his cock pressing against your ass through his pants. “Want to come join me?”

You push your butt back towards the horny man you call your lover, grinning at his behavior. “What about Joshua?” 

“You know Joshie likes morning showers after the gym. He won’t join us. In fact…” Jeonghan’s nose traces across your throat, his breath hot, “I bet he’s already asleep.”

“You think?”

Jeonghan hums. “He almost passed out in the car ride home. Trust me, we should let him rest.”

“We’ll have to be quiet though,” you point out. “We wouldn’t want to wake him.”

“I can be quiet,” Jeonghan smirks, “can you?” 

You love it when he challenges you like this, and you give a quick nod.

“Good,” he pulls away from your back, giving your ass a light smack. “Meet me in the bathroom, gorgeous.”

You’re just about done in the kitchen, and when you head down the hall to the guest bathroom, Jeonghan already has the shower running. 

The room is filling with steam, and his suit is neatly folded on the sink. Joshua’s forced Jeonghan into the habit of taking care of his clothes, and the sight of your wild boyfriend being neat always makes you giggle.

You’re wearing a cute little ‘housewife dress’ as Jeonghan would call it, and it’s easy enough for you to slip off. The underwear set adorning your body was one you’d chosen with the hope of someone else tearing it off, but you suppose doing it yourself before getting fucked in the shower is a decent compromise. 

Soon, you’re naked and opening the glass door to join Jeonghan in one of his favourite sex locations.

Jeonghan’s always been beautiful, but there’s something almost ethereal about the way he looks when there’s water cascading over his perfect skin. He turns as you enter, eyes scanning over your body as a smile appears on his lips. 

“Hi gorgeous,” he greets you, grabbing your waist to tug you tight to his front, capturing his cock between your bodies.

“I can’t believe you’re already hard,” you giggle, enjoying how easy it is to turn him on.

“I’ve been fighting a stiffy since lunch time when you sent me that picture of the new lingerie Joshua bought you. He might have forgotten about it and gone to sleep, but I’ve been thinking about fucking you all day.” 

“Is that so?” you tease, wrapping your arms around his shoulders while he pulls you half under the spray of warm water. “Is this what you were imagining?”

“I was imagining tag teaming you with Joshua, but when work ran late… this is exactly what I started to have in mind.”

“You like having me all to yourself, don’t you, Hannie?” 

“I’m not gonna lie,” his fingers dig into your hips, “as much as sharing you with Joshie is fun, I do enjoy having you to myself every once in a while.” 

“So now that you have me to yourself, what can I do for you, Mister Yoon?” You press your body forward, applying pressure to his cock. “I know you had such a long, hard day-”

“My day isn’t the only thing that’s long and hard,” Jeonghan smirks at you.

“I’m very aware of that, Mister Yoon. Shall I take care of it for you?” You love playing the part of sexy assistant, and he deserves it after the day he’s had.

Jeonghan lets out a groan. “Have I told you how fucking sexy you are today?”

“No, but I’d love to hear it while I suck you off, Mister Yoon,” you grin, pulling away from him so you can get down onto your knees.

“You always love being praised when you have your mouth full, isn’t that right, gorgeous?” Jeonghan’s eyes are fixed on you as you wrap your fingers around the base of his cock, and his hand moves down to push your hair out of your face.

“Of course, Mister Yoon, love to be praised by you.” 

“Yeah,” Jeonghan sighs as your tongue teases the head of his cock. “I’m the good one, and Joshua always gets to be the bad one with degradation. Are you sure I can’t call you my wonderful little cockwhore?”

“I think that’s still bordering on praise, Hannie,” you grin, breaking your game of assistant to ‘Mister Yoon’ for a moment to appreciate your boyfriend. Jeonghan can never be that rough with you, and his dirty talk always includes praise, even when he’s trying to be more of an asshole.

“It’s just hard not to compliment you,” he says, groaning when you take him into your mouth. “You always feel so good.”  

With your mouth full, there’s no way to verbally respond, but the moan you let out sends a shiver of pleasure through your lover. 

“Fuck, you feel like magic, gorgeous,” Jeonghan tells you, his voice breathy. “Always so good at sucking me off- who taught you how to be so good at sucking cock?”

Technically, he did. Jeonghan’s never been one to shy away from giving you instructions on what feels best, but to be fair, it’s never taken that much for you to get him to the edge either. 

He likes it when you move your tongue along his shaft, and he goes crazy for the sounds of pleasure you make when Joshua fucks you silly while you suck on him. But Joshua’s not here tonight, so you slip your own hand between your legs, rubbing your wet pussy with eager fingers.

“I guess we’re both horny, huh? I can’t complain. We both know I love watching my gorgeous girl touch herself. I’m not sure where to focus, on your mouth, or your hand.” 

You’re not sure where to focus either. Part of you wants to lean in to blowing Jeonghan, but another part of you feels so good to be touched after so many hours being home alone. It’s clear you’ve both needed this, both needed a release, and you know it won’t be long until both of you are cumming.

“Fuck, keep doing that,” Jeonghan moans when you swirl your tongue around his cock, taking him deeper into your mouth. “Keep doing that for me, good girl, good girl.” 

You whimper at the praise, rubbing circles on your clit that have jitters of pleasure erupting through your body. 

“I’ve been wanting this all day, gorgeous,” Jeonghan tells you, hips rutting forward to push his cock deeper into the back of your throat. “I’m not going to last long, and I don’t want to be in your mouth when I cum.” 

You pull off his cock, free hand stroking his shaft while you continue to rub your pussy. You blink up at Jeonghan. “Are you going to fuck me, Mister Yoon?”

“Of course gorgeous, now stop touching that pretty pussy and stand up for me.” 

You’re on your feet not a moment later, and Jeonghan gently pushes you so your back is against the wall. He kisses you hard, one hand reaching down to hike your thigh onto his hip, spreading you open for the cock that rubs between your pussy lips.

You whimper when his length brushes by your clit, and your boyfriend smiles against your mouth. “Ready for me?” he asks. “You don’t need me to get on my knees and return the favour first?”

“Definitely not,” you say quickly, “just want you inside of me.”

“You got it, gorgeous.” 

With one quick adjustment, the head of his cock is pressing into your entrance and you’re both letting out moans of pleasure, although yours is much louder than Jeonghan’s.  

“Shh!” he reprimands you with a laugh, slapping his hand over your mouth. “Joshie’s sleeping, remember?”

Honestly, part of you had forgotten. You’d been so enraptured in Jeonghan that Joshua hadn’t even been on your mind. 

You can’t help but smile against your boyfriend’s palm, but when he thrusts into you, your eyebrows furrow and another moan slips out of you, this time it’s muffled by Jeonghan.

“Fuck you’re so wet, and I know it’s not just from the shower,” Jeonghan groans. “Who made you this wet?”

His hand makes your response almost unintelligible, but as far as you’re both concerned, it’s a clear ‘you did.’ 

The feeling of Jeonghan’s chest pressing up against your sensitive nipples, the water from the shower making you both slippery- well, it’s absolutely wonderful. You’ve always loved fucking your hotshot lawyer boyfriend in the shower, and you completely lose yourself in the pleasure he provides.

As he fucks you harder, Jeonghan gets tired of muffling your sounds with his hand, and his mouth replaces it on your lips. His tongue invades you, and the whimpers that escape you are eaten up by your boyfriend.

He’s making his own pretty sounds, and they’re music to your ears. You like to know you make Jeonghan feel good, and his moans and groans have always been a huge turn on.

He breaks your kiss much too quickly for your liking, moving his mouth to your throat. “I’m close,” he tells you, teeth dragging by your skin. “Tell me you’re close too-”

“I am,” you confirm, gripping his wet shoulders tighter as you close your eyes and rest your head back against the cold tile. “You fuck me so well, Mister Yoon.”

“Fuck,” Jeonghan moans, rutting into you even faster. “Rub your clit, want you to cum as hard as I’m about to.”

One of your hands slips between your bodies, seeking out the sensitive nub that makes your whole body tingle. “Kiss me!” you beg, needing his mouth to muffle the sounds of pleasure that are definitely going to get louder now-

Jeonghan kisses you and takes your breath away. You completely give in to the feeling of euphoria that builds in your core, and the way you moan into each other’s mouths tells you that you’re both getting closer and closer-

You know Jeonghan well enough now to know the pitch of groan he makes when he cums, and you reach your highs together, lip locked in your shower while Joshua rests in the bedroom down the hall.

Jeonghan fucks you through your orgasm, and when you’re both done, he helps you put your foot back down on the floor, steadying you with two hands. 

“You’re amazing,” he tells you, as the two of you wash your bodily fluids from your skin under the hot water.

“No, you are,” you insist. “You had a long day and you still fucked me, I wasn’t sure if I was going to get laid tonight.” 

“I live to serve,” Jeonghan teases, turning you in his arms so your back is to his chest. His lips press kisses against your shoulder. “The court case will be over soon, even though this was fun, I know you usually like more,” - and by more, he means threesomes with Joshua - “I promise we’ll make it up to you when we’re done with the trial.” 

Jeonghan always keeps his promises.

The two of you dry up and head to the bedroom wrapped in towels. 

Joshua’s laying on the mattress, under the duvet. He’s adorned in a silky sleeping shirt, part of a set you’d got him for his birthday last year. There’s a sleep mask over his eyes too, and you think he must be in dreamland-

But as you and Jeonghan tiptoe to the closet to get dressed for bed, Joshua lets out a sigh, and one word slips past his lips that makes you realize he’s been awake this whole time; “Filthy.”

You feel like a kid on Christmas morning when your boyfriends arrive back from court after the last day of their hearing. Joshua’s visibly more relaxed than he has been in weeks, and his happy expression tells you that they probably won their case, which is good news for you.

He pulls you into an embrace, cupping your face and kissing you. You can practically feel the emotion pouring out of him, his love for you, his need-

And Jeonghan’s just as eager to get a piece of you, pressing his chest up to your back and grabbing at your hips.

There’s something long and hard rubbing against your ass, and you can’t help but pull away from Joshua to drop your favourite lawyer pickup line to the man behind you; “Is that a gavel in your pants? Or are you just happy to see me?” 

“Both,” Jeonghan practically purs, his mouth hot against your neck. “Think you can handle it?” 

Joshua watches your expression, and he lets out a small chuckle at the way your eyes widen. “He’s being serious about the gavel.” It must be obvious you’re in shock. “I told him not to do this-”

“Nah, she’s going to love this,” Jeonghan insists, reaching into his pocket to pull out the little wooden hammerlike tool that judges use to maintain order in the court and make rulings. “I can use it to stretch you open, you know, get you prepped to take something bigger.”

Jeonghan rubs his cock against your ass again and you realize what he’s suggesting. 

You’re not sure how, exactly, the routine ended up being the way it is, but Joshua always ends up monopolizing on your pussy while Jeonghan fucks around with your ass. Although he’s never fucked around with your ass using a wooden gavel.

“Come on, gorgeous,” Jeonghan teases the tool along your arm. “What do you say?”

“First…” you swallow thickly, “I wanna know where you even got that thing.” You grab at the gavel and Jeonghan lets you take it, testing the weight in your hand.

“A judge owed my family a favour,” Jeonghan says simply. 

“Won’t they get in trouble?” 

The man behind you shrugs. “Gavels go missing all the time.”

“I told you she wouldn’t like it,” Joshua smirks knowingly. “We don’t have to use it if you don’t want to.”

As much as Joshua can be a bit of a dickhead in the bedroom, he still classifies himself as a gentleman in his day to day life, and giving you the space to make choices for yourself is part of that.

“It’s okay,” you assure them, taking a shaky breath. “He can use it on me… we all know Jeonghan quickly gets tired of using toys.”

“See?” Jeonghan grins, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “I told you she’d say yes. What did you call her the other night? Filthy? I told you our filthy girl would let me use the gavel on her.” 

Joshua makes a sound of annoyance in the back of his throat. “I’m pretty sure I called you both filthy. Fucking in the shower while I was trying to sleep- I still haven’t gotten either of you back for that.”

“You’re about to get back at us now,” Jeonghan insists.

“Really?” Joshua’s brows raise. “How’s that?”

“You’re about to be balls deep in the best pussy you’ve ever had.”

“And how does that get back at you?” Joshua presses.

The man behind you shrugs, grinding against your bum. “I only get to enjoy her ass.”

The ‘gentleman’ rolls his eyes. “Key word enjoy. We both know you love her ass.” 

“Okay, I do love her ass,” Jeonghan concedes, “and if we keep talking about it instead of letting me fuck it, I’m gonna be pissed, so how about we take this to the bedroom?”

You look at Joshua, waiting for your more controlling lover to decide what comes next. 

With one final sigh, Joshua bends down and throws you over his shoulder, making you squeal and wrap your hand tighter around the gavel. You thank god for how much he’s been going to the gym before work lately- the manhandling he does always makes you wetter beyond belief, and your panties are already sticking to your core.

Jeonghan follows the two of you to the bedroom with a grin, and you find yourself shaking your head at him. “I can’t believe you brought a gavel home.”

“It’s sexy,” he insists.

“Are you sure about that?” You jokingly bring the gavel down on your hand and Jeonghan audibly moans.

“Yes, your honour, absolutely positive.” 

Joshua snickers below you, and you find yourself grinning at Jeonghan. It really doesn’t take much to get him turned on, and you should have known he’d have a thing for you being a naughty judge of sorts.

“Careful, Counsel,” you tut, using more lawyer lingo on him, “or I’ll sentence you to eating me out before you get your dick wet.”

“Sentence me then, I’m guilty, and I need to be punished.” 

You and Jeonghan release giggles, enjoying the playful banter, but Joshua doesn’t seem so impressed. He tosses you onto the bed, looking down at you with an exasperated expression. “Neither of you take law seriously.”

“We’re off the clock, Josh,” Jeonghan grins, patting his friend on the shoulder. “Lighten up a little.”

“I’m never going to be able to look at a gavel the same way again after this,” Joshua sighs.

Jeonghan’s grin only widens. “That’s the point, popping stiffies in the court room is good for your exhibitionism kink. Tell me I’m wrong.”

“You’re wrong.”  

“Joshua,” you lock eyes with the more stoic of your lovers, “I’ve missed you.”

The lawyer visibly relaxes, shoulders falling as he takes a deep breath. “I’ve missed you too,” he confesses, putting a knee onto the bed between your legs, hands finding the mattress on either side of your head while he presses his lips to your own.

He’s always been a fabulous kisser, and you hadn’t realized how much you’ve needed him in the past few weeks. Sure, he’s fucked you a number of times, but part of his head is always somewhere else, somewhere working.

There’s nothing in the world like having Joshua Hong’s full attention, especially when he’s pinning you beneath his large body-

“So I guess I’m just standing here and watching tonight?” Jeonghan’s voice is laced with annoyance, and Joshua matches the sentiment when he pulls his lips from your own, looking over his shoulder at his friend.

“Be patient,” Joshua snaps. “And I thought you were a vouyer, don’t tell me you’re not enjoying this.”

“Fine,” Jeonghan swings the gavel in his hand. “Maybe I’m enjoying this a little, but I’m tired from working too, and we don’t have all night.”

“We do have all night,” Joshua insists. “It’s not my fault you insisted on waking up early to eat out your precious, little miss gorgeous while I got more rest. If you’re tired you can have a nap.”

Jeonghan narrows his eyes at the man still pinning you to the bed. Then he swings the gavel again. “I’m going to go grab the lube.”

“You do that.” Joshua’s lips are back on yours a moment later, and you find yourself smiling into the kiss. 

You’ve always enjoyed their unique dynamic, the push and pull between the men who have captured your heart. If someone asked you which of the two you like better, you’d tell them it’s impossible to choose, and that’s the truth.

With your legs around Joshua’s hips, it’s as easy as ever for him to grind down against you, and you moan at the feeling. Your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging gently to work pretty sounds out of him as well.

“I need you naked,” Joshua tells you, grabbing at the pretty dress you’d worn to celebrate the closing of their high stress case. 

“Then take this off of me,” you suggest, “but please be gentle.”

Your boyfriend smirks. “Only with the dress.” His large hands smooth up your thighs, pushing the fabric up to your hips. “And these cute panties.” His fingers tug gently at the waistband of your thong, letting the material snap back against your skin before he continues lifting the dress from your body. 

Now all that stands between him and you is the set you’d worn, and he takes a moment to appreciate it. A sigh passes from between his lips, and Joshua’s eyes take in your form, hands going to caress your breasts through your bra.

“Look at our pretty little present,” he smiles, pressing a kiss to your collar bone before moving down. “It would be a shame to take this off before Jeonghan sees it.”

As much as the two of your boyfriends bicker, they can still be quite considerate of each other, and it makes your panties even wetter against your core.

“Flavoured lube or regu-” Jeonghan’s returned from where you keep all your sex paraphernalia, and his question cuts off. You can tell he’s as bewitched by your bra and pantie set as Joshua is, and it makes your heart swell with pride. “Fuck, gorgeous, you look…”

“Perfect,” Joshua groans, biting at the lacey detailing of your bra. “How’d we ever get so lucky?”

“Well, I brought her around after a date and you decided you wanted in on the situation,” Jeonghan retorts, making you smile, “that’s how we got lucky.”

“I’m still not going to apologize for it,” Joshua breathes, smiling as he presses more chaste kisses to the swell of your breasts. “It’s not my fault you weren’t satisfying her.”

“Hey!” you and Jeonghan both protest, and with one harsh push at Joshua’s shoulders, he allows you to roll so you’re now on top of him.

“What?” he grins, as if he hadn’t just said anything wrong.

“You know what,” you chastise him, trailing your fingers along his chest before moving to the buttons of his shirt. “Don’t be rude.”

“Sorry, baby, you know I’m only playing.”

“So she gets an apology but I don’t?” Jeonghan tuts, approaching the bed.

“And don’t pretend you’re only playing,” you scold Joshua. “Those were fighting words.”

“Fighting words.” The man beneath you only smiles wider, but he doesn’t try to argue. 

The mattress dips as Jeonghan joins behind you, his lips seeking out your shoulder. “I brought regular lube,” he tells you, going back to the matter at hand. “Unless you want me to get the cherry one and eat your ass.”

When he’d first started saying lines like this one, you’d thought he was joking, then it had seemed something of a threat, but now, you think Jeonghan might actually want to eat your ass, something you’re not particularly interested in tonight.

“Hannie,” you sigh, ditching your task with Joshua’s shirt buttons to reach behind you and thread your fingers through your other lover’s hair. 

“What?” Jeonghan smiles against your shoulder, and you find it almost comical how he and Joshua have so many of the same mannerisms. They’re two sides of the same coin, and you’re so lucky you don’t have to ever choose head or tails.

“Just help me with my bra,” you instruct, grinding down against Joshua and feeling needy beyond belief. 

“You got it, gorgeous.” Jeonghan’s fingers undo the clasp, and the material goes slack. Two sets of hands work to pull it off your body, and then those hands are clashing to get a good grip on your boobs.

Joshua ends up grabbing your left one, and Jeonghan settles for the right. In unison, they go to pinch your nipples, and you throw your head back, releasing a moan of delight. 

“You both feel so good,” you tell them, grinding down on Joshua even harder. 

“Going to feel even better in a minute,” Jeonghan promises, “but we’ve got to get your panties off first.”

You’re in a very difficult position to follow through removing your underwear, as you’re still straddling Joshua, and you go to lift yourself up- only for Jeonghan to reach down and grab onto your thong. 

You begin to tell him off with a “Don’t-” but Jeonghan’s already tearing the flimsy fabric off your body, ruining the panties forever. 

Disappointment floods through you, and Joshua immediately sits up in an attempt to sooth you. 

“You warned me to be gentle with your clothes, but you never warned him,” Joshua reminds you, pressing a kiss to your nipple. “We’ll buy you new ones.”

“Promise?” you pout, steadying your hands on his shoulders.

“Promise,” Jeonghan confirms, reaching around you so he can cup your pussy, fingers teasing past your clit. “You just look so sexy and needy on top of Josh, I didn’t want to make any of us wait any longer.”

“That’s because you’re impatient,” Joshua reprimands him, and it’s a common statement made in your household. 

Jeonghan doesn’t even bother to defend himself, instead slipping two fingers into your wet core. “Ride my hand, gorgeous?”

You let out a frustrated groan, but do as you’re told. 

There’s something so insanely sexy about straddling Joshua while he sucks on your nipples and Jeonghan’s hand presses between your bodies, long fingers buried deep inside of you-

You swivel your hips and moans begin to slip out of you. 

When Jeonghan begins rutting against your ass, aiding you in grinding against his hand, it almost becomes too much, and you whimper loudly.

“Close already? Jeonghan asks, lips ghosting by your throat.

“I’ve missed being between you like this,” you admit, focusing on the pleasure that surges through you at being in the exact position you’ve been deprived of for a little over a week. Their schedules simply haven’t lined up lately, and it feels like heaven to finally be exactly where you’ve always wanted to be; pressed between Joshua and Jeonghan.

“That’s our filthy girl,” Joshua grins, large hand coming up to grope your breast and tease your nipple again. “You look so good like this.”

“Joshie-” you whimper, his praise going straight to your core.

“Love the way you squeeze my fingers when he talks dirty to you like this,” Jeonghan moans, licking at your sweet spot and sending a shiver up your spine. 

“Come on, baby,” Joshua encourages you, “I want you to cum while riding his hand.”

“While he sucks on your perfect nipples,” Jeonghan adds. “I’ve got such a good view.”

You’re so lucky they’re both voyeurs who enjoy watching you get pleased by each other, and you allow yourself to get lost in the feeling. Jeonghan continues to rut against your ass, helping you grind down on his hand while he applies more pressure to your clit with his palm.

More moans of pleasure escape you, and you can feel both men smiling at the sounds. “That’s it,” Joshua breathes, “let go for us, the quicker you cum, the quicker I can be inside you. You want me inside, right?”

“Uh huh,” you whimper, eyes closed as you work your way closer and closer-

“Just like that,” Jeonghan tells you, “you’re so perfect for us-”

It’s the final line of praise that makes the cord in your stomach snap, and you let out a gasp as you find your release. You quiver between your boyfriends, motions faltering, but Jeonghan takes over for you, thrusting his fingers into your core and rubbing at your clit to work you through your high.

All you can do is latch onto Joshua’s shoulders as an anchor and enjoy the feeling of being worshipped, the feeling of being pressed between two men who love you more than almost anything in the world. 

Some part of you is a little bitter that their work still comes first, but this is proof enough that as soon as a case is over, you get to cum too. 

As far as orgasms go, however, this is just an appetizer. Jeonghan’s fingers are great, but they’re nothing compared to having two cocks buried inside of you, and as soon as you’re done cumming, you’re pushing at Joshua’s shoulders for space.

“Lay down,” you tell him, “I need to get your dick out.”

Joshua laughs but does as he’s told, tearing his shirt off before resting back against the bed with a smile. 

“You get his dick out,” Jeonghan says, “and I’m going to lube up the handle of this gavel.”

He can be such a weirdo, but he’s your weirdo, and you love him endlessly.

You’re attention is focused on Joshua, who lifts his hips a little to help you get his pants down, and you let out a moan when his cock slaps up against his abdomen.

You’re not sure what you ever did to deserve two men with such pretty cocks, and it’s almost a shame that in this position you can’t blow him. You promise yourself to give him good head another time soon, for his benefit or your own, you’re not quite sure.

Wrapping your hand around Joshua, you guide him to your wet core. 

Sinking down on him makes you both groan loudly, and as soon as he’s inside, you collapse against his strong chest to press your lips to his.

Joshua grabs your hips, fingers digging into your skin. 

If it was just the two of you, you have no doubt he’d be fucking you already, that he’d be rutting up to meet you and helping you bounce on his cock- but you’re both highly aware of Jeonghan at your rear. 

Any time Jeonghan does butt stuff with you, Joshua settles for cock warming while his friend works you open, and it gives you lots of time to enjoy his pretty lips and the tongue that glides by your own.

“I’ve gotta say it, gorgeous,” Jeonghan sighs, “you’ve got the prettiest ass I’ve ever seen.” 

Coming from an assman like Jeonghan, it’s a huge compliment, and you always appreciate his praise. No man has ever made you feel as proud of your asshole as Jeonghan has, and it’s always a somewhat comical experience, but one you love nonetheless.

“I’m about to ruin this gavel,” the assman at your rear tells you, giving you the space to back out, but you’re much too deep in this to go back now. 

When you respond with a loud moan, still lip locked with Joshua, Jeonghan brings the lubed up tip of the handle to your hole, gently pressing it inside.

You’ve become accustomed to butt stuff while dating these two men, and the feeling is one that you’ve learned to love. Even though it’s just the first inch of the handle, slowly teasing your hole, it feels amazing to have Jeonghan working your ass open while Joshua’s buried balls deep in your pussy.

“Fuck, this looks-” Jeonghan groans, “insane. Joshie, you’re really missing out.”

Joshua only chuckles against your lips, and you wonder if he’s thinking the same thing about Jeonghan missing out on your pussy. 

The handle of the gavel presses deeper into your ass and you feel yourself clench around both of your intrusions. 

Joshua lets out a groan, reaching to cup your bum and spread your cheeks for his friend.

“Shit, yeah, that’s good,” Jeonghan tells you. “This looks-”

“Insane,” Joshua finishes for his friend, pulling away from your mouth to glare over your shoulder, “we know. Hurry up so I can actually start fucking her.”

“I want to play a little more though,” you can hear the pout on Jeonghan’s words. “It’s only two inches deep.”

“Hannie,” you groan. “Please-”

“Just a little more,” Jeonghan insists, pulling the gavel out of your ass only to press it back in. The feeling makes your toes curl, and Joshua lets out a grunt below you when your pussy clenches around him again.

“Fuck,” Joshua cusses, releasing one of your ass cheeks only to bring his hand down on it with a harsh slap. All three of you moan and the flash of pain makes your toes curl again. 

“Joshie-” you whimper, burying your face against his neck.

“Another?” Joshua asks, not bothering for an answer before he’s spanking you again.

Jeonghan moans. “Holy shit-” The gavel is toyed around your ass, and then it’s being removed. “Fine, have it your way.”

You feel the gavel being tossed onto the bed, and then there’s a scuffle of pants and a cap being clicked. You can hear Jeonghan lubing up his cock, and he lets out a hiss at the sensation. “Ready for me, gorgeous?”

“Yes, please,” you whimper, arching your back to make things easier for the assman behind you.

“I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again,” Joshua groans, spreading your asscheeks with two large, warm hands, “You’re both filthy.” 

“Don’t act as if you don’t love this,” Jeonghan tuts, pressing the head of his cock to your hole. The tip slips into you and you cry out, earning a soothing touch of Jeonghan’s hand over your spine. “Relax, gorgeous, this is going to feel amazing.”

It already does, but you focus on your breathing as Jeonghan slides his lubed cock deeper into your ass.

“Okay, okay,” Jeonghan swallows thickly, “let’s start to move.”

“Thank fuck,” Joshua groans, grabbing onto your hips to anchor you above him for his first real thrust-

They move in unison, and the feeling of being stuffed makes you cry out in pleasure, grabbing onto Joshua’s shoulders. 

You love how you don’t have to do anything. Pressed between Jeonghan and Joshua, you give up all control. Their push pull relationship is never more evident as it is now, and they wordlessly work together in a way that has your toes curling and your eyes clenching shut.

“Fuck, fuck-” you whimper loudly and it only makes your boyfriends laugh.

“Hang in there, gorgeous, we just started,” Jeonghan warns you.

“You’re so tight, baby,” Joshua groans, “such a filthy little whore for being stuffed.”

You kind of love it when he calls you a filthy little whore, and your pussy throbs with pleasure-

“Shit, are you going to cum?” Joshua laughs. “Our filthy little whore is going to cum already?”

“It just feels so good,” you whimper. “Feels so full-”

“That’s the way you like it,” Jeonghan says, and you can hear him smiling. Then his hand comes down on your ass and you let out a yelp, clenching again-

“Fuck-” Joshua groans loudly. “If you keep squeezing me like that, I’m not going to last either-”

“Aw,” Jeonghan teases, “is our stoic little lawyer boy going to cum already?”

“Fuck off,” Joshua growls, fingers digging into your hips while he fucks up into you even faster. 

“It was just a question,” Jeonghan insists, but you can hear his own voice faltering with effort. 

“Unlike you, I’ve been focused on the case,” the man below you argues. “Excuse me for being sensitive after not being in this perfect pussy for three days.”

“You chose sleep over fucking, not my fault,” Jeonghan retorts. 

“Please,” you groan, “stop arguing.” 

“We both know if she cums, we cum,” Joshua continues, disregarding your plea. “Don’t act like you’d be able to stop yourself-”

“Hannie-” You turn your attention to the man in your ass, hoping he’ll see reason and end this bickering, but of course he wants the last word. 

“Be patient, Joshie.” 

“Fuck,” Joshua groans loudly, bucking up into you wildly.

“I’m so close-” you whine, needing to draw their attention to you somehow. Besides, it’s the truth, and you can feel your orgasm rising in your core again-

“Shit,” Jeonghan grabs your ass roughly. “Can you hold it?”

“I don’t think so-” you admit, pressing your lips against Joshua’s throat in an effort to distract yourself.

The man under you shudders, and you know he’s just as close as you are to reaching his end. 

“Please, Hannie,” you moan desperately, “I want to be full, please fill me up, please-”

Jeonghan lets out a shaky breath, and when he speaks, his voice is near a whisper; “Order in the court.” 

“Fuck order,” Joshua says, a major statement coming from him, “cum with me baby, come on, cum with me.” 

That’s all it takes for your orgasm to take over, and you let out a strangled gasp as it slams into you. You feel yourself clamp down on both men, and Joshua moans loudly in your ear as he reaches his own high.

His hips falter ever so slightly, and you can feel him filling you up with his cum while Jeonghan releases cusses behind you, fingers digging into your hips as he’s thrown over the edge too.

Being double stuffed is one thing, but being double filled is another, and it feels like absolute heaven. If there’s ever a night to get noise complaints, it’s going to be tonight, as the sound of three people reaching cloud nine together rings through the room.

The two men fuck you until they can’t anymore, until you’re all breathing heavily and nearly overstimulated. 

You’re already collapsed against Joshua’s chest, and Jeonghan slumps down against your back, breath hot against your neck. 

The three of you lay there for a short while, trying to slow your racing hearts. Then Joshua lets out a sigh. “Did you really say ‘order in the court’ during sex?”

“Did you really say ‘fuck order’?” Jeonghan retorts.

God, you love these men.

☀️ mlist + an. thank you for reading! the banter between Jeonghan and Joshua always gets me 😂

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🔮 preview. Maybe Joshua calling you filthy had some merit, only a filthy filthy girl would be in a situation like this. Jacking off your boyfriend, rubbing your clit under his desk while your other boyfriend hides his own cock from your friend in the doorway-

cw/ tw. exhibitionism/sex in their workplace, blowjob, masturbation, Soonyoung walks in during y/n blowing Joshua, head petting, praise, degradation, hand job, voyeurism, mentions of this not being the first time someone’s walked in on them, cum swallowing, finger licking, etc…

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3.6k I teaser wc. 500

🌙 staring. Joshua & Jeonghan x afab!Reader  

bonus

You’d guessed there was a plan brewing when Joshua messaged you around lunch time to let you know he’d forgotten the meal you’d prepped for him. Out of your two boyfriends, Joshua’s not the type to forget things, least of all lunch, and especially not on a day where he’s not completely overwhelmed by a case.

It would be as easy as anything for him to send Soonyoung out to grab him food, so the fact that he’s messaged you to ask you to come down to the office tells you there will be more to your lunchour than just being an errand girl.

You don’t mind taking a trip down to the lawfirm, and you adorn yourself in a cute dress Joshua always loves fucking you in. Your makeup is simple yet pretty, and you’re confident in yourself when you walk into the tall building your boyfriends work at.

It feels nice to get a few appreciative looks as you head through the lobby, and you even run into another attorney your boyfriend’s work with in the elevator. Seungcheol does his best not to look at your chest, but you catch his gaze dipping once or twice while you make simple conversation and explain to him that “Silly Joshie forgot his lunch” which is why you’re here to visit.

Seungcheol is even so nice as to walk you to Joshua’s office, and you can’t help but think it’s an excuse to look at your ass while you walk in front of him, side stepping litigation team members and waving to your acquaintance Vernon at his desk.  

When you reach Joshua’s luxurious corner office, you and Seungcheol are both a little shocked to find both of your boyfriends inside waiting for you. Joshua and Jeonghan look just as surprised to find Cheol as your escort.

“I uh, bumped into her in the elevator,” Seungcheol explains. “Wanted to make sure she found your office alright.”

You’re all aware that you’ve been here before, you know where your boyfriend’s office is, and Joshua cocks a brow at his friend. Instead of questioning Seungcheol’s motives, however, Joshua simply nods. “Thank you for showing her the way. Is that all?”

“Yeah,” Seungcheol coughs nervously, “I’ll see you both in the boardroom in an hour for our case debrief.”

“See you then,” Joshua confirms.

“Bye, Cheol,” Jeonghan lifts a few fingers to wave at his friend as he leaves you, shutting the office door firmly behind him. “Hi, gorgeous.”

“Hi, you two,” you laugh, practically skipping up to Joshua’s desk to set his lunch down and press a kiss to his lips. “Didn’t expect you both to be here.”

“Originally, I was going to try to get you alone,” Joshua admits, smiling down at you before his gaze shifts to Jeonghan. “But when he heard you were coming with lunch, he insisted on staying.”

“We all know you never ‘forget lunch,’ Joshie,” Jeonghan says simply. “I figured if there was a show going on in here, I’d want to see it. For a man who claims we’re the filthy ones, it’s awfully daring of you to invite our girlfriend to the firm to get your dick wet at lunchtime on a Tuesday.”

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[tanadrin]

A highly abbreviated history of ancient Israel and Judah as I understand it

Before 1500 BC, a Canaanite culture develops in situ, the result of thousands of years of overlapping waves of migration. The region is inhabited by a mix of highland pastoralists, lowland farmers, and city-dwellers. In the latter part of this period, urbanization intensifies and Canaan becomes more integrated into surrounding regions, especially Mesopotamia and Egypt. The region is fractured, though sometimes tribes and cities join together in confederacies for mutual defense. Egypt and Assyria both occupy Canaan or part of Canaan at different times.

The confederacy known as "Israel" emerges in the northern part of the hilly region west of the Jordan River. Its name references the Northwest Semitic high deity, El, but relatively early the deity Yahweh is introduced into the confederacy, probably by a group from the south who come to occupy a preeminent role in administering the Yahwistic cult. Yahweh is initially cast as a son of El. The Northwestern Semitic peoples often assigned patron deities to nations, and Yahweh is the patron of Israel, as Chemosh is to Moab. Yahweh has a storm-deity profile akin to Baal, elements of which will be retained when Yahweh is conflated with El.

As part of this merger, Yahweh will also acquire the role of consort of Asherah, who in Ugarit was paired with El.

The early Israelites combine heterogenous tribal traditions into a common historical and religious framework. Integral parts of these traditions include the covenant with Yahweh and an obligation to follow his commands, and a history of Yahweh freeing some or all of the ancestors of the Israelites from bondage in Egypt, guiding them through the wilderness, and leading them to their homeland in Canaan.

These traditions congeal during the pre-monarchic tribal period, from ca. 1200-1000 BCE. They do not include monotheism, the worship of Yahweh at a single temple, or the exclusive worship of Yahweh. In this period, the common bonds of religion and culture suffice to create a single Israelite identity; the component members of the Israelite confederation retain considerably autonomy, though they may act in concert with their fellows, particularly in times of invasion.

At some point around or after the 10th century BCE, separate monarchies emerge centered in various locations in the north (and eventually settling on the city of Samaria) and in Jerusalem in the south. Direct evidence for Saul, David, and Solomon is very weak, and the idea of a period of united monarchy covering Israel and Judah together is contentious. It seems highly likely that the story of the Davidic line is a Judean tradition retrojected onto an idealized period of political unity. Nonetheless, even the Bible has the United Monarchy ending by the late 10th century BCE.

In 720 BCE, the northern kingdom of Israel is destroyed by the Assyrians. About a fifth of its population is deported; a large part flees south to Judah, causing rapid expansion of Jerusalem. The refugee population includes northern Levites and landowners, who are influential in bringing northern religious traditions wiht them, and become part of Jerusalem's administrative elite.

In 640 BCE, King Amon is murdered as part of a coup attempt, suppressed with the aid of these northern notables; Amon's young son Josiah is installed as king. At this time, Judah is vassal to Assyria, but Assyria enters a period of sharp decline, which leads to resurgent nationalism in Judah. This inspires a new rescension of Israelite history and law led by the Deuteronomists (but rooted firmly in the canonical history of Moses), who foreground the exclusive worship of Yahweh, and produce a comprehensive history of Israel since Joshua.

In 622 BCE, Josiah launches a reform program that enforces the henotheistic or monolatrist worship of Yahweh, centralizes all cultic activity in the Jerusalem temple, and enshrines an early form of the Deuteronomistic law as the covenant between Judah and Yahweh, in which Yahweh symbolically replaces the Assyrian king. Asherah-worship is among the casualties of this new religious regime.

In 586 BCE, Judah is conquered by Babylon, and the temple is destroyed. Much of its elite population deported. This upheaval sparks a major period of cultural and religious transformation, especially among the deportees in Babylon, who struggle to understand theologically how they can worship the patron-sovereign god Yahweh from a foreign land. Among other theological developments, this leads to the invention of true monotheism: not only is Yahweh our only god, he is the only god, the god of all the world and not just Israel. The Deuteronomistic texts are revised again as a part of this process.

In 539 BCE, after a half-century of exile, Babylon is defeated by the rising Achaemenid empire, and a small portion of the Babylonian Jewish exiles return to Judah. There, they embark on a project to rebuild the temple, and reform the religion according to new theological understanding. Judah is now "Yehud Medinata," a province of the Persian empire; it flourishes for two centuries until the Greek conquest in 333 BCE.

The post-exilic period is hugely influential on the Jewish scriptures; rescensions in this period incorporate Babylonian influence (especially in the primeval histories), the ancient canonical histories (the patriarchal narratives and Exodus), the post-canonical histories as revised by the Deuteronomists, and many other sources.

After 333 BCE, Judah (Judea) is a frontier region between the Seleucids and Ptolemies; the country is ruled by a hereditary high priest, who is a vassal of Hellenistic rulers. Greek culture and philosophy is influential on the development of Second Temple Jewish thought and traditions. This phenomenon is known as "Hellenistic Judaism," and sprang up first in Alexandria and Antioch, before spreading to Judea. Major achievements of Hellenistic Judaism include the Septuagint, probably a result of there being large Jewish communities in cities like Alexandria that no longer spoke Hebrew or Aramaic.

In 167 BCE, sparked by the religious meddling of Seleucid ruler Antiochus IV Epiphanes, Judea rises up in the Maccabean Revolt. A new kingdom is established under the Hasmonean dynasty, after decades of fighting.

Around 110 BCE, John Hyrcanus, high priest and ruler of Judea, invades the transjordan region and Samaria, destroying Shechem and the Samaritan temple on Mount Gerizim. He also invades Idumea, and forces the Idumeans to convert to Judaism under threat of destruction. His son assumes the title of "king" for the first time, combining it with the office of high priest. Under the son, Aristobulus, Galilee is conquered and annexed, and there is an influx of Jewish settlement in the region.

At its peak, the Hasmonean kingdom is almost as large as the semi-mythical United Monarchy; but in 67 BCE, weakened by a civil war, it is conquered by the Romans. The Holy of Holies in the temple is desecrated, and the ruler, Hyrcanus II, is reduced to the status of "ethnarch," a vassal of the Roman Republic.

Some regions conquered by the Hasmoneans are gradually removed from their rule by the Romans; Roman civil wars and struggles with the Parthians often spill over into this client sate; ultimately, when a Parthian-backed pretender is expelled in 37 BCE, Marc Antony and Augustus appoint Herod the Great as king of Judea. The Herodian kingdom expands further north, and northeast over the Jordan. After Herod the Great's death, the country is divided into four parts; Judea proper, Idumea, and Samaria go to Herod Archelaus, who is deposed in 6 BCE; his territory becomes a Roman province.

About this time, Jesus, the son of Joseph, is born in Nazareth, along with his siblings, including James, in the Galilee region ruled by Herod Antipas.

Around 30 CE, Jesus gathers a small band of followers around him; he visits the mystic John the Baptist, and receives baptism from him; he preaches a radical doctrine that includes the imminent coming of the Kingdom of God, and claims a mantle of divine authority in a way highly legible to (and highly controversial within) post-Hellenistic Jewish philosophy, though he does not claim to be God. Eventually he travels to Jerusalem to observe the Passover, where in a notable incident he attacks merchants and moneylenders in the Jewish temple. For various reasons, probably having to due with his radical philosophy and his disturbance of the public peace, he is executed on the orders of the Roman prefect of Judea. A small community of his followers remain, especially in Jerusalem, where they are led by his brother James, and some continue to seek converts to his cause.

In 66 CE, the First Roman-Jewish War occurs. A revolt breaks out, sparked by nationalism, bad governance, and religious tensions. Jerusalem is besieged, and in 70 CE the Temple is destroyed and the city is razed. The last holdouts commit mass suicide at Masada in 73 CE.

Resentment against Roman rule is only intensified; in 129 CE, Hadrian establishes the pagan city of Aelia Capitolina on the ruins of Jerusalem, inciting further Jewish anger. In 132, Simon bar Kokhba leads another rebellion, taking the title Prince of Judea and establishing his own government. Some of his contemporaries think he might be the long-awaited Messiah, but despite initial successes, the rebellion fails. Bar Kokhba is killed in 135, in the last holdout at Betar. The rebels who remain are killed or enslaved; severe Roman repression results in widespread slaughter and enslavement, and the razing of hundreds of towns and villages. According to Cassius Dio, "nearly the whole of Judea" is laid waste. The Jewish presence in Judea is reduced significantly, and the center of gravity for Jewish culture in the southwestern Levant shifts north, to Galilee. Small Jewish communities persist on the edges of Judea and on the coastal plain, suffering religious persecution under Hadrian (and just about every ruler to come thereafter). Even the name "Judea" is abolished, with the area now called "Syria Palaestina."

As under the Babylonian exile, in the post-Second Temple period the Jewish religion undergoes another period of transformation, struggling to deal with its new circumstances. The traditions of the Second Temple period, as practiced by the Pharisees, are written down in the Mishnah to preserve them; they are first redacted by Judah ha-Nasi, probably in Beit Shearim or Sepphoris, some time between 100 and 200 CE. Rabbis (village judges) study the work produced by Judah ha-Nasi extensively. Their discussions are documented in a series of books that come to be known as the Gemara. Scholars in Tiberias and Caesarea (in Galilee and on the Mediterranean coast respectively) compile one form of the Gemara ca. 400 CE, while scholars of the Jewish community in southern Mesopotamia (then still known as Babylonia) compile another, ca. 500 CE. These compilations of Mishnah and Gemara are known as the "Talmud," of which the Babylonian Talmud proves the more influential.

[fairyhaos]

◈ adorable and insufferable // joshua hong

joshua x gn!reader, 1.5k+ words

tags: sick fic, fluff, crack, established relationship, joshua makes small snuffly bunny noises when he's sick

warnings: food mention at the end

notes: for his birthday present, i give him a cold. as you can see, i love him very much.

Your boyfriend is sick.

He is, also, an absolutely terrible liar.

That leads you to the situation right now, where you’ve cornered Joshua in the kitchen, hands on your hips, a bunny spa headband pushing your hair back, and it’s not the most intimidating sight but Joshua gulps all the same, eyes darting around the kitchen nervously.

He’s looking for an escape route. You can see it in his eyes, clear as day, so you step even closer, voice dangerously calm as you speak.

“No, keep your eyes on me,” you say, face set into an angry frown. “Shua.”

Joshua looks at you, and tries not to breathe too weirdly. “Um. Y/N?”

You look him up and down, and then slowly fold your arms. “Shua,” you say again. “Are you sick?”

He blinks rapidly, and then has to stop, because it makes his head feel all woozy. “No?” he tries, and then coughs a little. He’ll claim it was out of nervousness, because you look kind of terrifying right now, but your eyes immediately widen at the sound, and he knows he’s busted.

“You are!” Instantly, you lunge for him as he tries to dive past you and escape this interrogation. “Joshua, come back! You’re sick!”

“I’m not! I’m not, I swear I’m not,” he insists, trying to pull away from the iron grip you’ve clasped around his wrist. Resistance is futile, though. You’re not letting him go, now that him and his wellbeing are involved. “Y/N, baby, please, I’m totally fine.”

“No you’re not,” you say firmly, and then begin dragging your whining boyfriend out the kitchen and towards the stairs. 

“I—” He sneezes, then, a loud and wet sneeze that scrapes at his throat and makes his eyes water, and he pauses, shocked. He sniffles, rubbing his nose. “Okay. Maybe I am.”

You shake your head, partly exasperated, partly fond, and continue pulling Joshua up the stairs.

He’s been shuffling around the house looking mildly ill all day, and you’ve been waiting for the right moment to pounce on him and get him up to bed. Because Joshua, when he gets sick, utterly refuses to give in and accept that he’s coming down with something, always waiting until the last moment to finally admit defeat to whatever illness has plagued him this time.

By the time you’re opening the bedroom door and ushering Joshua inside, he’s looking considerably worse than before, face all flushed and eyes watering from the sudden coughing fit he had while coming up the stairs.

“Come on, baby,” you coax, tucking him into bed. You press a hand to his forehead, a little alarmed and a little amused by how quickly he managed to look severely ill during the short walk upstairs. “Sleep.”

“I can still function, you know,” he insists as you pull the covers over him. “I can—I can do things.”

“I’d rather you not,” you say, smoothing down his hair and tucking away a few stray strands. You shake your head in faux disappointment. “I knew you’d get sick from all those days where you went out wearing all those thin layers in winter. What were you thinking?”

Joshua huffs petulantly. “It’s called fashion.”

“It’s called making yourself sick,” you return, and then chuckle at his pout. Leaning down, you press a quick kiss to his forehead, brushing a finger over his cheek fondly. “Now sleep. You’re going to feel way worse tomorrow if you don’t.”

He grumbles, but there’s a small smile on his face as he bids you goodbye and asks you to shut the door properly on the way out.

───────────── 💗

Your boyfriend is very, very self-sufficient. He tries not to bother other people with his struggles and his concerns, but he’s also very terrible at hiding it away when someone asks him directly if everything’s okay.

He’s also really weak in the face of attention.

Which means that while he’s very self-sufficient, the moment you notice he’s unwell and call him out on it, he melts instantly and gets taken over by his sickness so quickly that it surprises you every time.

Slowly, you creak open the bedroom door, peering inside to see Joshua staring blankly up at the ceiling. His head snaps towards you as you walk across the room, but his eyes are all glassy.

“Y/N?” he murmurs, and all he’s said is your name but it’s like he’s speaking through a ball of cotton. 

“Yes, it’s me,” you say, smiling a little, because his eyes positively shine when you confirm it. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you place a damp towel over his forehead, feeling his cheek with the back of your hand, and wince a little at how warm he is. “Goodness me, Shua, you’re burning up.”

“No, I’m not,” he murmurs. “You’re burning up.”

You smile a little, pinching his cheek lightly. “If you were this sick, then why didn’t you say anything, hm? You should’ve told me earlier.”

“I’m not that sick. I can still do stuff,” he says, eyes falling shut just slightly as you begin stroking his hair, a relaxing movement. “Hey, hey, Y/N, watch this.”

“Hm?” You stop stroking his hair, sitting back and waiting patiently. 

There’s a long silence, and then Joshua cracks an eye open to look at you. He looks expectant—well, as expectant as a person with an extremely high fever can look—but when you don’t say anything, a small frown creases his brow.

“Didn’t you see it?”

“See what, baby?”

“The cartwheels. I did cartwheels.”

The statement is so absurd that you think he’s joking, but his face is set into such a serious pout that you can’t help but laugh a little, because there's something about fever-drowsed Joshua that is so adorable.

“You didn’t do any cartwheels, baby,” you say gently, and go back to stroking his hair. “You didn’t even get up.”

Joshua frowns, the pout deepening. “Oh.” His eyes close, and then open again. “I did them in my head, though. I’m sure I did.”

Cute, you think helplessly, unable to stop the smile spreading across the face. “Okay.” You kiss his nose. “I believe you. But I’m gonna go get you something to drink and eat, and then you’re gonna take some meds, okay?”

He makes a small noise of discontent when you get up, and then coughs, giving a pathetic sniffle like a sad little bunny, and you almost want to just stay next to him and never leave his side.

“You’re gonna need to take the meds to get better faster,” you say at the door. “I’ll be back soon, promise. Wait here.”

Joshua makes that sad noise again, but he watches you go. “Okay,” he says, all mumbly. “I promise not to cartwheel away.”

You laugh a little, because good lord, he’s so adorable. “Okay. I’m trusting you, alright?”

“Mhm.”

You close the door and walk down the stairs, shaking your head fondly.

───────────── 💗

It’s only several days later that his fever finally lets up, and he’s well enough to walk around the house once more. You wake up to Joshua in the kitchen, a blanket around his frame, making pancakes.

“Baby?” you ask, rubbing your eyes and yawning. “What are you doing?”

Joshua turns to you, and then grins, eyes crinkling fondly. “Hey, sweetheart,” he says, and deposits the last pancake onto a plate. “I’m making you breakfast, of course. Here. Eat up. Want some french toast too?”

“Wh—huh?” you say, incredibly intelligently, slowly sliding into the seat that, like the gentleman he is, Joshua had pulled out for you. “Why?”

“It’s a thank-you present, obviously,” Joshua says, as he busies himself making french toast. As if the pancakes and spread of fresh fruit and waffles (he cooked waffles too?) aren’t enough. “I’ve been insufferable over the past few days.”

You chuckle a little, thinking of Joshua insisting he can do cartwheels while you try to spoon feed him soup. “Yeah, you have. But I didn’t mind. You’re my boyfriend. Of course I’m gonna put up with you.”

Joshua laughs. “Thank you, Y/N. What would I do without you?”

“You’d be dead without me,” you say, incredibly seriously, and it makes Joshua laugh again. His eyes are still a little puffed up, but he beams at you, all full of life, and it makes you grin too.

“You’re totally right,” he says, and leans over to peck you on the cheek. “I love you.”

You smile, taking hold of his chin and bringing him down to press a longer kiss to his lips. “I love you more.”

Joshua quirks a grin at that, kissing your forehead for good measure before going back to the bread. “Let’s not start that argument again. Eat your pancakes, sweetheart, before they get cold.”

You look over at him as he busies himself making yet more food, and it makes you a little dizzy, really, just how much Joshua loves you. And how much you love him in return. Even when he’s doing cartwheels in his head and insisting he’s doing them in real life.

“Hey, now you’re all better, you can do those cartwheels you kept wanting to do.”

“Really? Should I?”

“Yeah! I bet I can do them better though.”

“Oh, you’re on.”

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