#Josh looks cool as hell too (as he always does)

[admirationandromantics]

what about until dawn characters and piercings? do you have any headcanons for them? or any idea about characters and their relation to reader's piercings? (I'll add a little bit from myself: I absolutely love the combination of Chris + nipple piercing. In any form, whether it's his or a reader's - I'm sure the combo is perfect;))

I have a lot of thoughts on this, so I’ll firstly just do the piercings I think each character has/wants right now. Might later talk about what they like on a partner. Honestly, I wouldn't mind doing this with tattoos either. (And yeah, I agree with you on the Chris one)

Sam: Ears, several. And it’s usually gold jewellery. Sadly, it doesn’t go much further than that. She’s pretty vanilla on this compared to the others. 

Josh: I imagine he got a home-piercing once, and that one hole hasn’t grown since then. He doesn’t like the normal type of jewellery, but can use a small silver sword which he pokes through and just leaves there (yes, he normally takes it out and sword-fights with people). He does fantasise about getting a tongue piercing though, just because he thinks he'll look hella cool with one. 

Ashley: This girl loves them on others, not too much on herself. Except for a nostril or septum piercing. She’d look awesome in both. She also has pierced ears, but only one hole in each. Dreaming about a belly button piercing, but has come to terms with the fact that she just doesn’t dare to do it. 

Chris: Definitely pierced ears, though not many, maybe one or two in each. He had a phase where he thought about getting an eyebrow piercing, but in the end, everyone voted against it. He still holds out hope for those nipple piercings, knowing Ashley will love them. 

Jessica: Holy hell, this woman! If she was dating a woman, that septum will be pierced. I feel it goes without saying that she also has a bunch of ear piercings, using gold jewelry and small chains on them. She also has a belly button piercing, several diamonds hanging. Nibble on it, she likes when you tug it a little. 

Matt: The most vanilla. I think he doesn’t like the idea, both of the glimmer and pain aspect, though many have tried convincing him by putting clip-ons on him. “See, you’ll look amazing!” But he always refuses. I guess it’s for the best, he’s playing a lot of sports and at the end of the day, they would be more of a hassle than enjoyment for him. 

Emily: This bitch also has a bunch, hear me out. A lot like Jessica, but usually silver jewelry. Many in her ears, maybe a nasal, and definitely a belly button one (She and Jess took them on the same day). She has dreamed about nipple piercings for a while, and decided that if she still wants them in two months, she’ll do it. 

Mike: One in his ear, which was pierced at a party. He still uses it though, a small stud which doesn’t stand too much out. Honestly, he wouldn’t mind a lip piercing (side labret) either, but hasn’t taken it yet. One thing he's definitely thinking about though, is getting his junk pierced. He's so incredibly curious to how I'll feel while having sex. The reason that he hasn't done it yet is because of the refrain for sex during the healing period.

Beth: Queen. She has it all, face covered in metal. Not only that, but also nipple piercings and a certain other one (wink wink). I think the only one she doesn’t have is a belly button piercing. 

Hannah: Not really a big fan, but does have pierced ears. Not a lot, maybe 1-2 holes per ear. She wants a belly button one though, but hasn’t gotten to it. She also thought about nipple piercings, but in the end decided that was not for her.

[littledemondani]

Hello first time here at your page

I am a sucker for revenge, so how about we give to Fuckboy Eddie a good taste of his own medicine, i want to make this bitch cry a little

Does this makes me evil ?

warnings: 18+ mdni, brief alcohol use, mentions of public sex, fuckboy!eddie, fem!reader, no use of y/n, possessiveness, slight angst, fwb to lovers

it’s not evil at all! he deserves to cry.

//

you’ve teased him about it relentlessly for weeks now. every time you bring up your coworker, josh, and how he’s the only reason you’re able to get through the agonizing 8 hours of work at your current workplace, eddie’s brows pinch and his tone gets snappy.

“awww, you’re jealous,” you’d say, looking at him with a slight pout.

“not even close, sweetheart,” he’d always reply back, shaking his head.

“whatever you say, munson.”

he’d then roll his eyes and look anywhere else but at you.

tonight, though, tonight he realizes he’s been full of shit the entire time.

the two of you are at a bar in downtown indianapolis, the same bar you met him at a little over a year ago, and you’re currently dancing with some dude.

eddie watches as you sway your hips to the beat of whatever hit pop song is blaring through the speakers. mystery guy trails his left hand down your front and over your abdomen. you make no efforts to stop him as he inches closer to your cunt. he leans down and whispers something in your ear, you nod along, then he takes your hand and leads you towards the back of the bar where the restrooms are.

eddie feels nothing but rage. he tells himself he should go after you, because he knows exactly where you’re headed and what you’re off to do. he’s done that same move more times than he can count, not just with you, but other girls, too. hell, he did it a few days ago after one of his gigs. but he knows deep down he can’t go barging into the restroom and beat that guy’s ass. the two of you aren’t dating. you’re not even exclusive to each other. he’d be going back on the conditions he set himself. so, he sits on the barstool, downing the rest of his beer and then starting on another.

twenty minutes later and you come out of the restroom, your lipstick smeared a little, hair slightly mussed up, and mystery guy’s cum dripping from your cunt onto your panties. you search the bar for eddie, expecting to find him with another girl but surprised to see him standing against a wall by himself. his arms are crossed against his chest.

“there you are,” you smile as you walk up to him. “i looked everywhere for you.”

he takes you in, his brown eyes scanning you up and down before he scoffs. “yeah, i’m sure you did.”

you frown at that, but decide not to push it.

“ready to go?” you ask instead.

he nods and leads the way out of the bar into the cool, november night.

it’s silent on the walk to where his van is parked, and you’re starting to wonder what the hell is up.

“are you mad at me or something?” you blurt out.

“what? why would i be mad at you?” he questions, though his tone isn’t helping him in any way.

“well, i don’t know,” you shrug, stopping just before you reach his van. “that’s why i asked you.”

he sighs deeply, almost as if he’s annoyed you’re even asking in the first place. he’s not annoyed with you. he’s annoyed with himself for feeling the way he does about you and not doing anything about it.

“i’m not mad at you,” he finally says, looking over at you. “i-i just —. forget it.” he opens the passenger door to his van and motions for you to get in.

you know exactly what he’s upset about. you could tell from the moment you walked up to him. you saw him eyeing you dancing with mystery guy and watching you leave to the restroom with him. you saw him glancing at you in your post-sex state.

“you know,” you say as you step closer to him. “you’re not the only one who can have fun, eddie. you fuck different girls all the time and i just ‘have to’ suck it up because ‘you know what this is.’ but when i decide to have some fun for myself, you get mad and treat me like this?”

you’re glancing up at him, nostrils flaring with anger and eyes glaring daggers. eddie opens his mouth to say something but you’re quick to interrupt him.

“if you’re mad that i fucked some random dude in there then i have some news for you. you know what the fuck this is, eddie,” you throw his own words back at him. “if you want things to be different then just fucking say s—.”

eddie cuts you off with his lips, pinning you up against the door of the van. you deepen the kiss, your hand finding purchase in his hair as you tug harshly.

“you’re mine,” he groans against your lips. “all of you. every fucking inch of you.”

“and you?” you ask, breaking the kiss to glance up at him through your lashes.

“yours,” he says with a slight tug at the corner of his lips. “i’m yours.”

[moonlightisdancing]

Love Me Tender/ j.m.k

Pairing: Josh Kiszka x Female Reader

Word Count: 2589

Warnings: NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI romantic josh, marking, oral sex (m & f receiving), whole lotta kissing, fingering, light biting, super light foot stuff (bare with me), very intimate & unprotected sex (wrap before you tap pls), breeding (do we expect anything else from me…), smoking

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“C’mon, mama. We’re gonna be late.” Josh’s voice echoes from your shared bedroom into the bathroom.

The statement is quite ironic, Josh is almost always the reason you guys are “fashionably late” as he calls it. He didn’t disclose what he had planned for tonight, but he bought you a gorgeous black dress paired with silver heels. You assume something special as he’s finally home from tour, perhaps a small celebration of being back. He’s adamant you wear this specific outfit for tonight, but there’s one issue.

“I’m trying, baby! Can you come help me zip it?” The zipper starts at the middle of your back, making it almost impossible for you to zip on your own. You hear his footsteps through the bedroom.

He knocks his knuckles on the door frame. “Can I come in?”

“Of course, my love.”

He creaks the door open, walking up behind you in the mirror. Josh places his hands on your waist and his chin on your shoulder. He plants a kiss on your exposed shoulder before looking at your reflection in the mirror.

“Mm, fits you just how I like it. How’d I do? Does it feel okay?” He can’t take his eyes off of the plunging neckline in the reflection.

“It’s so pretty, the zipper’s in a weird spot, though. I can’t reach it.”

“Here, let me get it, angel.” He pulls away from you, leaving your back exposed to the cool air. He glides his hands down your hips and across your ass. You watch his reflection as his eyes lock onto the back of your lacy red bra he bought you for Valentine's Day.

“Y’know, I always liked this little number.” He runs his fingers under the elastic of the bra, tracing down your spine until he reaches the zipper.

“It always ends up on the floor before you get to see it!” You tease him.

“To be fair, I do like it better on the floor.” Josh is trying to get the zipper, but his fingers can’t grasp it.

Destined to get the dress zipped, Josh gets on his knees behind you. He places his hands on your hips for support as you feel his nose brush against your back. He’s attempting to pull the zipper up with his teeth. The feeling of him behind you like this drives you crazy, but you try to contain yourself knowing he has something planned for tonight. Your wandering mind is suddenly brought back to reality.

“Fuck!” Josh’s grip on your hips gets tight in anger.

“What happened, baby?” You were so busy daydreaming you hadn’t been paying attention.

“The fucking zipper broke.” He seems really upset about the faulty zipper.

“My love, I think I have a little black dress in the closet.” Before Josh can stop you, you make your way to the bedroom, and see it’s decorated with rose petals on the bed and unlit candles across the dresser.

“Josh, what’s all this for?”

“It was supposed to be a surprise for when we got home…” He stands in the doorway, looking defeated as all hell.

You feel bad for ruining his surprise, but in the same breath it turns you on knowing what his plans were for the night. You walk up to him and wrap your arms around his neck, he places his hands on your waist in response.

“Joshy, this is so cute, I love you.” You pout your lip at him.

“Yeah? I love you, too, baby.” He pulls you into his chest and kisses your neck.

The kisses begin to grow deeper as he starts to leave hot marks across your skin, you let out a small moan in response to his touch.

“You know we could just stay here if you want.” Josh says between the heated kisses on your neck.

“I’m good with that, yeah.” Your hands run down the warm, soft skin of his neck before finding themselves resting on his pecs.

You slide your hands down, fidgeting with the end of his shirt before working your hands underneath the thin fabric. The dragging of your nails against his stomach causes Josh to let out a breathy sigh. He runs his fingers through your hair, gently tugging at the base of his grip. You slowly fall to your knees, running your hands down his torso and thighs, locking your fingers into the waistband of his pants. You maneuver your head under his shirt, your lips finding their way to the soft flesh of his navel. You begin peppering kisses across his tummy as your hands trace small circles on his barely exposed hip bones. His cock is growing hard against your throat, begging for attention under the rough denim. You inch his pants down his firm thighs, hands finding their way around his ass. You place soft kisses on his clothed cock as it twitches under your sweet touch. Running your wet lips over him through his boxes leaves a smudged stain of red lipstick around his length. You dip your fingers into the waistband, knuckles dragging over his prominent hip bones. You unveil him to yourself, taking in the great detail, each one telling a different story. With your hands on his hips, you run your tongue from the base of his cock up his shaft, lips finding their way around his leaking tip. The swirling of your tongue makes Josh moan as he places his hands on top of yours.

“Baby?” He gently whispers.

“Yes, my love?” His eyebrows furrow in almost sadness as you pull away from him to respond.

“Let me do my thing first.” Josh wasn’t asking, he was telling you.

His hands find their way cupped around your face as Josh pulls you to your feet. He lowers himself onto his knees, swapping the roles of which you each occupied moments before, bringing the dress down with him. The heavy, black fabric rests at your feet as Josh kneels eye level with your core. He hungrily kisses you through your bright red panties, eyes glistening with pure lust. He brushes two fingers against your middle and pushes the lacy number to the side, letting the cool air excite your pussy more. Josh begins placing heated kisses up your thigh before reaching your core, burying his face into your warmth. His nose is brushing against the light patch of hair you keep, per his request, as his lips position themselves around your aching clit. He begins eating you out like he’s been deprived of your taste, or perhaps had never been fed. Through breathy moans on both ends, Josh makes a point to periodically look up and check he’s pleasing you the way you deserve. Suddenly you feel two fingers rubbing through your folds before they press through your entrance. You let out a sharp moan, one that Josh knows to be a good sign. He starts curling his fingers inside of you slowly as he continues making love to your clit. Inching closer to the edge, you reach your hands down and rake your fingers through Josh’s hair, grabbing handfuls at the scalp. You writhe under his touch, rocking against his motions to gain more friction from his tongue.

“Feels good, hm?” He hums into your aroused flesh, you’re growing tighter around his fingers as you near your climax.

“Cum for me, mama.” Josh’s fingers start to pick up a faster pace as you reach your high.

He works you through your orgasm as he replaces his tongue with the pad of his thumb, moving his body in line with yours. The room spins around you as Josh slowly takes his fingers out from your throbbing cunt. Taking the hint from you toying with the bottom hem, Josh removes his shirt exposing the soft, blushed skin of his torso. You run a hand down his heated body moving down to stroke his length, placing kisses across the skin of his neck and chest. He burries his face in your neck and begins tracing the dip in your back with his fingertips, running his fingers up and down your sweat coated skin.

“Josh?” You sound needy, almost begging for the attention you already had.

“Yes?” He lifts his head from your shoulder and moves a hand to push back fallen strands of hair blocking the view of your face. His palm lingers beside your face, his thumb rubbing over the highest point of your cheek.

“Can we fuck?” You always felt silly asking, but you liked to make sure you were on the same page. There had been plenty times in the past where Josh wanted nothing more than to pleasure you, not worrying about his own release.

“Yeah, of course, mama.” The lust-filled look never left his eyes, but was now seemingly brighter at your request for more.

The two of you find your way over to the bed. Josh gently pushes you back into the pillows, sending the white rose petals flying around you. Josh slides the dress off of your ankles and tosses it onto the floor. He slowly takes your strappy, silver heels off of your feet, placing soft kisses along the bottom of each one followed by the circular motion of his thumbs. He positions himself between your legs and hovers over you, an arm on either side of your head as you trace the defined muscle of his biceps with your fingers. He leans his head down to touch his forehead to yours, making his cold pendant press against the heated skin of your sternum, cooling the triangular shape it rests upon your skin in. Foreheads touching, alongside the tips of your noses, Josh takes in all of you.

“Look at me, angel.” You open your eyes and see his brown doe eyes staring back at you.

His stare wasn’t anything fierce or scary. Usually prolonged eye contact made you uncomfortable, but his never did. From the moment you’d met Josh, you’d yearned for his eyes to be fixed on you any chance they got. Josh always loves to mention how the eyes are the windows to the soul, and each time he performs this act on you, you easily welcome him into your unlocked home. It’s always felt like he belonged there, inside of your soul. He has been the only one to see you so deeply and show you how it feels to love and be loved. He’s taken the time to make every sexual interaction with you feel connected no matter how heated the moment got. The soul bonding goes on for what feels like an eternity, but in reality only a few minutes have passed. During the time of getting lost in eachother’s minds, bodies and spirits, your legs found their way wrapped around his waist. Josh breaks the eye contact with a series of loving kisses to your plush lips. The sweet flavor of mint toothpaste, cigarettes and weed lingers on his tongue, a combination you longed for while he was gone.

“I missed you, and this…” You whisper between his taste.

“I missed you, too, mama. And I missed her.” He says as he dips his hips down pressing his solid length against your needy core.

You reach a hand down to grab onto his cock, rubbing him between your velvety folds before resting him at your entrance. You open your eyes to see if he’s watching, but his are screwed shut paired with furrowed brows and open lips. Placing your hands on either side of his face, you lift your hips into his, feeling every muscle in his body tighten and fall into the feeling of you.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He opens his eyes and presses his forehead to yours again, returning to the art of staring, this time more intimate than the last.

He moves his hands from beside your head to underneath your back, pulling you into his chest in a strong hug. Josh slowly moves his hips back and forth, making sure to dip down at the end of each stroke to rub against your clit. You run your fingertips over his bare back as his grip deepens into yours. Josh can make you cum almost instantly when he wants to, but he was taking his time, wanting to feel you for as long as he can. Sweat begins to form on each of your bodies, his wet curls resting against your forehead.

“I’m so close, baby.” He loosens his grip on your back and snakes his arms out from underneath you.

He places them against the headboard, pushing himself up from you but never leaving your shelter. Josh reaches back for your legs and throws them over his shoulders, lifting your lower back off of the bed by a few inches. His strokes become longer with more desire behind each one as he places a mix of kisses and soft bites on the inside of your calf. One of his hands finds its way resting on your lower stomach, his thumb hovering above your clit, applying heavy pressure as his hips crash into yours. You start wiggling and whining under his touch as you near your second orgasm, you can tell he’s getting closer to the edge too by the faltering in his movements.

“Keep fucking me right there. Just like that.” You let out a crying moan. “Fuuuck! Oh my- Josh! That feels so fucking- oh my god I’m-” Before you can finish your thought, Josh brings you to another climax as he follows shortly behind.

“Oh, mama. Fuck, you’re so tight. Want me to cum in my tight little pussy?” You’ve always been entirely his, but hearing Josh claim ownership makes you melt into his touch.

You nod yes and he wastes no time following instructions. His hips stutter and you feel his twitching cock fill you to the brim, his warm release coating the inside of your orgasm swollen pussy. The prolonged eye contact is broken as Josh’s head falls back, his lips parted and neck on full display. You watch his Adam’s apple bob up and down as he attempts to catch his faltering breath. He brings his head back where it belongs. Looking entirely fucked out of this world, he slowly lowers himself ontop of you peppering kisses along your jawline. You wrap your hands around the back of his head, running your fingers through the sweat-soaked curls at the nape of his neck. Once Josh catches his breath he rolls off of you, laying on his back. He lazily reaches over into the top drawer of the dark oak side table that resides next to your shared bed. You turn to your side and lean up on your arm to watch the movement of his bare body. Josh returns with a pack of yellow American Spirits and a black lighter. He flips the top open and presses his lips to the pack, pulling one cigarette out in the sexiest way anyone could. He closes the top and lets the pack fall into the dip of his chest, bringing the lighter to the cigarette.

“You want one?” He puffs the cigarette and blows the smoke away from you.

“Can I?” You reach for the pack but Josh waves your hand away.

“Let me get it, mama.” He returns the pack to his hand, this time grabbing one out with his index and thumb.

He presses the cigarette between your swollen lips and lights it with the cherry of his own.

[hannahssimblr]

Chapter Sixteen (Part 2)

When we park the car, we walk through the village together until we reach the brightest, most neon spot in town. I can’t help but to laugh when I realise that Jude expects me to go inside. 

“The arcade? Seriously?”

“Come on, don’t you just love this place?”

“I never went in, I was too embarrassed to be seen here before.” I laugh. “This is the oldest, tackiest, most decrepit place in town. Nobody even hangs out here except for twelve year old boys.”

“Not true.”

“When’s the last time you were here?”

“When I was twelve.”

“Point proven.”

“Not because I got too cool for it, though. I got banned for life.”

“What? Why?”

“I told you before, I was a bad child.” He takes my hand and leads me towards the bright swirling neon through the open door. It’s deserted, save for a solitary worker standing behind the counter of the snacks bar, wiping the same spot over and over again. He barely even looks up as we enter. 

“What could you possibly have done to be banned from this place?”

“I was a button basher and a terroriser. I kept beating this one really angry kid in that game over there by using the same move over and over until he tackled me into a vending machine and cracked the glass.”

“Fucking hell.”

“Yeah.” He shrugs.“ That boy was the worst kid around, he reminded me of Josh Peck in that Mean Creek movie, but I was potentially the second worst. I used to get in trouble so often that it was unbelievable.”

I’m amused by this image of him, a smaller Jude, getting up to all kinds of outrageous hijinks, a menace to sensible adults all over this village, and I don’t doubt it for a second. He’s calmer now, but even when he was eighteen a little piece of that wildness still hung around, the remnants of a little boy who had no concept of the rules. “What else did you get up to when you weren’t being adequately supervised?”

“Well I kept throwing tennis balls at an ice cream truck until he stopped coming into the caravan parks. Last I heard he still doesn’t come around, like, ten years later.” I lean back against an arcade machine and burst out in giggles. “Oh my God.” I snort. “I don’t know why, but that’s so funny.”

“You love it!” He says, pretending to be shocked. “You love that I was a terrible child. I’m telling you about the worst things about me and you think it’s funny!”

“I do, I think it’s so funny.” 

“I’ll only be encouraged to misbehave even more if I know that girls like it.”

“Why were you so bad? What compelled you?”

He leans an arm against the machine, moving his body very close to mine. “I don’t know, I’d just always find myself in the middle of causing trouble, usually because other boys laughed when I did things, like scrape butter out of my chicken roll and smear it on a random bicycle seat, or whatever. It was all for the immediate funniness. I think if I’d been born a decade later or my parents were more interested in me I would have had to be assessed for some sort of behavioural issue.”

“Do you think you actually had one?”

“I dunno.” His eyes drift away, already thinking about something else. “Let’s not get into these kinds of things. Do you want to play Mortal Kombat?”

“Well, it’s what we’re here for, isn’t it?” 

He beats me twice in a row, because he’s button bashing. 

“If you’re not careful I’ll put you through the Coca Cola vending machine.” I warn him. “The Josh Peck boy was right, you have very poor sportsmanship.” 

“You’re only saying that because you’re losing.” He says, and then beats me again. He does a little victory lap around the arcade, which infuriates me, so I enter the next game with laser focus and steely determination as though my life depends on success. I leave him floundering with his lowest score yet, and he crumples onto the joystick in defeat. 

“So there!” I announce, and I stick my tongue out at him.

“You’re ruthless and cruel.” He declares, and then we have a rematch and I beat him twice more in a row. 

The final match feels more serious, tied now, three all, and we stop talking, stop teasing each other and focus on the game. Jude tries all of the dirty tricks in the book, but I know the game by now. Unlike him I have learned the controls of the game and I have complete authority over the joystick and buttons. I know I’m going to win before I do, because he gets frustrated and annoyed, and completely loses his edge. I cry out in triumph when my character rips his character’s heart out and Jude lets out a pained yelp, as though that’s exactly what I’ve just done to him. 

“Good game, Evie.” He concedes, after a long, anguished pause. “But I’m not playing against you again.”

“Good. I absolutely hate your play style, and you’re a sore winner.”

“From now on we should only team up”

“I agree, we’d be horrible and unstoppable.”

“Do you still fancy me after witnessing me at my worst and most toxic?”

I grin. “If that’s you at your most toxic then I think I fancy you more, actually.” I push past him towards an old jukebox by the wall. “Which probably says something about me, I don’t know. Maybe I should be psychologically assessed.”

“For liking bad boys?”

I snicker. “You think you’re a bad boy?”

“I think that you think I’m a bad boy.”

“No, I think you’re very sweet and kind and quite soft, actually.” I dig around in my pocket for a spare coin or two. “Sorry.”

He leans against the wall next to me like a quarterback against some cheerleader’s locker in a high school film, and it shouldn’t make me feel girlish and shy, but it does. My whole body tingles even though he’s not even touching against me. “Is that really what you think?”

“Are you flattered or insulted?”

“Well I’m flattered. I think that about you too, coincidentally.” 

“Pick a song.” I tell him. “Let’s see if this thing even works.”

“Give me the old classic, Surfin’ in the UK.”

“What?” I chuckle. “I think you’ve got that wrong.”

“No, look.” He points to the song selection at the front and I run my eyes down the most egregious list of knock off hits I’ve ever seen. There’s Hotel Florida, Puppy Dog, Nine Days a Week, Free Tumblin’, and somewhere near the middle is Surfin’ in the UK. “This is ridiculous.” I say as I hit the button and the speakers crackle to life. “Why don’t they just get the real songs?”

“Cheap,” Jude explains, and bobs his head as though he’s enjoying the strange song that almost, almost sounds like the Beach Boys, only for its weird, tuneless melody that never quite progresses to the expected or most obvious chord. 

“My God, this is awful,” I say, and he’s already doing a silly little shuffle dance across the worn out carpet. “What are you talking about? It’s a certified banger,” He reaches out his hand to me and sings in falsetto “And all the blokes are surfin’, surfin’ in the UK.”

“Don’t make me dance to this.”

“What? Nobody is watching.” He takes my hands in his while I laugh, and he laughs too, because it’s just funny. There’s always something funny about being together, even when I know that everyone else would think we’re being stupid, but when I’m around him I always feel just a little less embarrassed of myself. The same kind of childish, light headed giggliness I get when I breathe helium from a balloon.

The arcade machines and the neon on the walls blink and flash bright colours against his skin and his sleek, glossy dark hair, and everything is noise, light and sensation. Beeps and bings and 8 bit graphics and electronic chip music, all blend discordantly with the tinny music from the jukebox, but when he holds my waist and kisses me slowly everything else fades away. 

My body surrenders to him immediately, but this is what he does to me. This is why I feel afraid of the ways that I feel, because with him, as with nobody else, I feel like I can understand better why people do insane things for sex. How a person can just forget where they are and do it wildly and indiscriminately in cars or public bathrooms or in other kinds of places that used to make me feel confused and disgusted. I always knew, as I know right now, that it wouldn’t take much convincing on his part to get me out of my jeans. 

“Evie.” He says, and his eyes are soft and hot at the same time. “Should we go back to Dublin soon?”

Why is he asking me this? “No.” I whisper back, and hold his face so that I can let my eyes stumble all over it. “No, why?”

“Because if you think we should then I figure we should go soon. This place closes at ten.”

“Can we stay tonight?”

“At the beach house?” He is surprised, and I nod. “Yeah. Would that be okay?”

He gives me this dirty grin that I’ve never seen before. “That’d be fine with me.”

“Not to do anything.” I add quickly. “Not to, you know… this isn’t an invitation for anything untoward. I just don’t want to go home yet.”

“Of course. There’s other rooms you can sleep in, I don’t expect you to sleep in with me.”

“Arlight.” I say, feeling a bit relieved. “That sounds good.”

“Well then, are you ready to head back to the house?”

“Yeah, I think I am.”

Beginning // Prev // Next

[screenmaven]

Films I’ve Loved This Year

I have already written reviews on some of them (not seen in this post), that you can already read here. So make sure to also do that.

I’m completely laid out in bed extremely sick, I thought between the delusional fevers, bomb exploding headaches, and literally feeling like I’m dying, I’d share the other films I’ve absolutely enjoyed watching this year.

I started up a separate account via Instagram to just post film, but having multiples is beginning to be too much, so from now on any other film content aside from the blog here will be on @ starrymayx.

So to start off the list here we go…

These 90s “Noir” films started my whole new movie Escapades, and I’m so glad they did -

Bad Influence, Guilty As Sin, Pacific Heights, Whispers in The Dark, Dream Lover, Untamed Heart, White Palace

Here are the others…

Thrashin - 1986

Starring: Josh Brolin, Pamela Gidley

Brooke McCarter (RIP homie), Sherilyn Fenn, Robert Rusler, & Josh Richman

Anthony Kiedis + RHCP

Tony Hawk, Kevin Staab, Mike McGill, Jimmy Star

What I liked: There was so much awesomeness in this film and a feel good story of triumph. Basically it’s about two skateboarding gangs, having beef, mix in lots of skating, graffiti, punk rock aesthetics, and a love story, and you have yourself a pretty badass film. Plus they overcome their rivalry in the LA Massacre challenge, and there’s even several rat tails. 🤣 Definitely worth a watch!

I really wish I could skateboard. I would have been so rad. To all my skater friends and Bo’s over the years, mad respect. 🤘🏻

The House on Sorority Row - 1983

Director: Mark Rosman

I swear Scream Queens was influenced by this film.

I really liked it. Loved the lighting, still had a seventies type feel, storyline was really good. Definitely a film to check out if you like really good horror, without all the super special effects.

*For any strobe light sensitive people* like myself out there, there is a scene where it’s wild,

Pump Up The Volume ✊🏻 1990

Director Allan Moyle

This movie is 🔥 Definitely a pioneer for all things talk radio but from a non-narrative perspective. Films like this and indie radio programs paved the way for our now podcasts. I loved the way it was written, the development of the characters personal selves, and breaking the rules.

I love me some Christian Slater 💓

The soundtrack is also amazing!

From Richard Hell, Leonard Cohen, Beastie Boys, Ice T, & more! I’ll link the soundtrack in my stories.

*trigger warning: there is a scene that deals with suicide and those scenes always get me. So I wanted to mention that.

Out of Bounds - 1986

Director- Richard Tuggle

Cinematography - Bruce Surtees

Starring: Anthony Michael Hall

Siouxsie and the Banshees 🤘🏻💓

& Meatloaf (in like 3 scenes)

What I liked: The cinematography of downtown LA & Venice Beach California, (actually the whole film is beautifully done). The 80’s colors, Dizz’s home, her style. The fact that Anthony Michael Hall was a badass hero, taking down a heroin drug man with his knife throwing skills. Really good film.

2 Days in The Valley - 1996

Written and Directed by: John Herzfeld.

Starring: James Spader, Eric Stolz & Charlize Theron

Synopsis: 48 hours of intersecting lives and crimes in The Valley of Los Angeles.

Why I liked it: Artsy Cinematography, James Spader obviously, and the correlation of numerous parties all being connected, going through individual stuff but being thrown into the mix of chaos. Plus sunglasses just seem to add viable cred to it. Why are sunglasses so cool yet mysterious?

Shampoo - 1975

Director: Hal Ashby

Starting Julie Christie, Goldie Hawn, & Warren Beatty

I throughly enjoyed this film mainly due to the Jim Morrison/Sharon Tate style vibes it gave off throughout, and all the stylish decor/fashion. The Morrison looking guy played by (Warren Beatty) is basically a lover to many of his women hair clients (he does hair).

I really appreciate the 70’s swank and aesthetic appeal in this film. I’m also obsessed with Julie Christie’s glam Tate starlet look and I wish I could pull off bangs! Goldie Hawn is also in here and a younger Carrie Fisher.

From the 70s eye shadow, purple outfit I want, the main girls style, glamorous hair, river grotto, la house party with body paint and strobe lights (which that part I had to turn away - sensitive), it still rocked.

Based in the LA canyon/hills it’s definitely worth a watch to see the web of desire and aesthetic unfold. Keep your eye out for the creepy art in one of the scenes that just didn’t quite belong. 😳

Additionally there was some dialogue between two parties in the kitchen about questioning the lead male’s (hairstylist) orientation, and the f word was used a couple times. Didn’t like that part.

Really glad we’ve evolved on how we should identify people and what’s right to say and not to. A person can be gay or even not, but using derogatory terminology to hurt them is very low par. If you still do that. Stop.

Chopping Mall - 1986

Director: Jim Wynorski

Mall Location: Sherman Oaks Galleria

I loved this film. For reals.

Nothing better than a mall unleashing new technology security robots, only to go horribly wrong. Which I already knew where it was going as soon as it started 😂

Anyways a group of mall employee friends and two others throw a party in a bedding home store and get freaky - typical 80s horror, which I love. Then basically the robots go crazy and savage, hunting down all of them in a terminator/stranger things vibe kind of way. The aesthetic, 80s style, and scenery are very appealing, all the way down to even the playboy underwear from Miss Virgina Slims herself. Camel ciggs just won’t cut it. 😂

Lots of greats here, and I hope you check them out if you haven’t seen them.

Happy Filming 😘

[voicestm]

"Hey, you Josh?" Meeting a new plug is always a nuisance. They're as paranoid as she is and her agitated demeanor rarely sets them at ease. Sam tries to keep her cool, but the stuff at the edges of her vision is always gaining ground. "Sam. Kirby's friend." Rather than give him a hand to shake, hers extends with her phone out, a picture of herself and the blonde on the screen, hugging and laughing and obvously acquaintances of some sort. "She was supposed to ride up with me, but I think she got a better offer. Of dick— not weed." Sam was supposed to wait but that way madness lay. At least driving out of the county had given her something to do, something to focus on other than the voices, the black shroud in her peripheral, the whispered questions and the looks at home. Anything was better than that. Even jumping through the hoops of a hook-up with no reason to trust— other than the fact they both look similarly aged. Similarly fucked if they get busted. It's not like anything about her is giving undercover. She shrugs. Hyperactive slim, she could just be another girl with a care for her figure except little else about her appearance suggests actual caring. Black hair is worn long and loose and sporting more than a couple of snags and tangles; the liner ringing black eyes smudged and fading into heavy dark circles, like full lips worked over by her own teeth, split in a couple of places, dry and a little chapped. Oddly enough, they seem to be matching on a few of those counts too and Sam begins to understand Kirby's suggestion that this guy might be good for more than just some weed. Pills too. Not the uppers her peers popped to get their essays in on time, cramming in mad overnighters for colleges she had no intention of even applying to— no, those just made things so much worse. Ritalin. Adderall. Things that turned the volume up on everything she was trying to shut out. Downers were harder to come by. She kept her hopes small and at bay, so as not to get disappointed. "So, you good for a half?"

Kirby.. Kirby.. There's a face that goes with the name, one he's sure he knows but just couldn't place. Pretty.. Blonde.. But that's where the familiarity ends. It's LA. There's pretty blonde's by the dozen. Hell. He has three best friends who were pretty blondes. So really. That means nothing to him. This girl isn't familiar though and more than that.. She looks like trouble. It isn't exactly her Look but the way she carries herself. Like he's seen some shit, like she's been through even more and he's five seconds away from turning her away when she whips out her phone. "Kirby!" He finally places the face and nods. The girl who could all but be a twin to his best friend. He was thinking sister from a different miss. But he wasn't about to say that to either one of them. Both of blondes were spicy on the best of day.

But that does mean he steps back to give the girl a second once over. Yeah, no, she still looks like trouble. It's in her eyes he thinks. He's seen those eyes in the mirror. And what had he told Chucky comes back to him. Troubled knows troubled. That never did do him any good though did it? Another one to love and leave. Ah but there he went.. Getting lost in his own train of thought when the girl hadn't come seeking him to save her. She just wanted another fix and he was good with the supply. "Good for more than half." He motions her into the house as he steps aside. He's glad their pretty blonde friend had given her the keycode, so she could let herself right into his glamourous abode. Or his parents. But daddy was on a shoot and he and mama dearest wouldn't be back for weeks. So the house was more or less.. Filled. With a bunch f kids their own age. Scattered around. Music thumped out from hidden speakers and laughter bounced off the walls. "You can stay as long as you like. Only rule is leave the upstairs alone and don't fuck with my sisters. In any way. I'd kill for them." Was that too much? He doesn't care. It's the only rule he ever enforced. Hannah and Beth were off limits.

[amatchinwater]

Pairing: Steo

Characters: Stiles Stilinksi, Theo Raeken, Malia Tate, Scott McCall, Corey Bryant, (Mason Hewitt, Tracy Stewart, Hayden Romero, Josh Diaz are mentioned, but Stiles doesn't remember their names)

Warnings: Memory loss, head trauma, kidnapping, mentions of coma, mentions of a car accident, Stiles is in pain whenever he remembers something (really bad headaches and nausea)

Words: 4511

Prompt: @badthingshappenbingo square for Memory Loss (card at the bottom)

a/n: memories/flashbacks are in italics...I should definitely be sleeping right now.

Missing Pieces (ao3)

---

You know those naps you take in the middle of the day and when you wake up you don’t know what day it is and there’s this moment of haze that you don’t even know where you are? Add in a splitting headache and that’s exactly where Stiles is. Except, there’s no moment of clarity crashing into him when he jolts awake to settle him in comfort realizing this is his bedroom. Stiles doesn’t recognize the bed much less the sheets on it. The room is even less familiar.

What the hell is going on?

Where is he? 

With a groan, Stiles raises a hand to the side of his in hopes to quell the throbbing. Cool metal licks his temple and he jerks his hand away, staring at his fingers. Finding a silver band adorning his ring finger. When the fuck did he get married? Okay, just take a breath. No need to have a panic attack. Surely there’s a reasonable explanation to this. Sleep is still clinging to him a little too hard and once he splashes some cold water on his face, Stiles’ be good as new. You know, just as soon as he remembers how to get to the bathroom. 

At least he seems to be in his own clothes, Stiles notices, throwing plaid sweatpant covered legs out of bed onto dark blue carpet. Did he even have a hand in decorating this place? It doesn’t seem like there’s a single piece of him here. He wouldn’t paint the walls cream. Nor would he have light gray furniture and ugly, yellow bedding. Is that a ‘Live, Laugh, Love,’ canvas hanging above the door? Stiles might throw up before he makes it to the bathroom. 

What is this place? 

Opening the stark white door to the bedroom, Stiles enters the dim hallway. It’s during the day, but no lights are on to show any signs of life other than him. Seeing a staircase to his right and more doors to his left, Stiles chooses the doors at random. The first seems to be an art studio of some sort. Finally, the first thing in this damn house that screams him. He’s always wanted a studio of his own. Maybe the bedroom was pre-furnished and he just hasn’t gotten around to tearing it apart. 

Before he can open the next door, he’s frozen in place by a photo hanging on the wall. It’s a wedding photo. His wedding photo. Next to him is a pretty brunette whose face he almost remembers. Like a tickle in the back of his brain begging for recollection. Wouldn’t he remember his own wedding day? Or the fact that he’s married to begin with? To be quite honest, Stiles can’t even remember graduating high school. But he must have considering he’s living in some house with a ring on his finger. 

But thinking about memories too hard makes his head hurt even more.

Brushing the feeling off for now, Stiles opens the next door, grateful for finding the bathroom. Maybe there’s some pain killers in the medicine cabinet that will help with the pounding in his head. At least the bathroom isn’t as horrendous as the bedroom. A little more modern with a generous sink and a simple black curtain covering the shower. Even better? Extra strength tylenol sits behind the mirror. Without hesitation, Stiles yanks the cap open, popping two in his mouth before sticking his face under the running water to drink them down. 

Splashing the cold liquid on his face, Stiles takes his first calming breath since waking up. Only to look at himself in the mirror and see quite the five o’clock shadow on his cheeks and jaw. He’s been able to grow facial hair since he was seventeen years old. But never, not once, does he ever actually let it grow. An angry growl of his stomach derails his thoughts in finding a razor to rectify the situation. He’s got plenty of time for that later. 

First, food. 

Stepping back into the hallway, Stiles heads downstairs and deeper into this twilight zone of a house. He really wishes that he could remember something. Anything. Thinking too hard about it still makes his head hurt worse and he’d really like the meds to do their job. Along the way, he passes more pictures of himself with the girl- his wife. Jesus, that’s fucking weird to say. Just before he rounds the corner and enters the kitchen, he’s shell-shocked with another picture. It’s been cropped. But the distinct tattoo on the other person’s arm stabs at his brain like an ice pic. Two solid lines on top of one another.  

“Scotty,” Stiles murmurs, brows furrowing. 

His best friend since he was five years old. 

How in the actual hell could he forget Scott? 

“Fuck!” Stiles yells, clutching his head with both hands as his knees buckle, crashing to the hardwood floor enough to hurt. His gaze flickers back and forth, images dancing in his vision. 

We could try Knob Hill…

Or we could wait until we actually get into college and then figure out where we’re going to live.

I have a vision, dude. Don’t mess with the vision.

Him and Scott were making college plans together. So, why doesn’t he remember going through with them? The stabbing sensation behind his eyes lessens enough that Stiles can get back to his feet. Food can wait a second, he needs to find a phone and call his dad. At least that’s one memory that didn’t leave him. There’s a comfort in the fact that Stiles didn’t forget his own father. Searching the thankfully inviting living room, Stiles finds no cell phone or even a laptop. He searches every room in the house only to come up empty handed. He found a charger for a phone, but not the actual device. 

This is getting really irritating. 

His stomach painfully reminds him of his initial goal and Stiles goes back into the kitchen. Wary of literally every opened snack in the cabinets and pantry, he opts for an unopened can of mountain dew from the fridge and a sealed can of spaghetti-o’s from the cabinet. It’s not much, but it’s better than nothing. He can’t quite explain it, but something doesn’t feel right. Sitting down at one of the tall, brown bar stools by the granite counter, Stiles digs into his bowl of food. 

Not two mouthfuls later does the front door open. Being able to see it from the counter, Stiles watches as the girl from the pictures enters the house. She smiles the moment she sees him sitting there, “you’re awake!” She hastily closes the door, rushing his direction and throwing her arms around him. Pulling away, the girl kisses him. 

Stiles is so shocked he doesn’t return it. “I’m sorry if this is rude, but, who are you? And where the hell am I?” Just because he’s confused or whatever the hell, doesn’t mean he needs to be rude to this girl. Obviously they have a history. There’s literally photographed proof of that. Stiles just needs a reminder is all. 

The girl's face falls slightly, but she doesn’t seem entirely put off. “I’d hoped they were just being overly cautious. I’m your wife,” she tells him with a warm smile, showing him a small diamond ring on her hand, “Malia.”

Blinding pain wracks his brain again and Stiles drops the spoon into the bowl. Groaning, he clutches his head again. Pinching his eyes closed, he’s taunted with more fuzzy visions. 

I can’t do this anymore, I’m sorry.

Stiles, please, don’t do this. You don’t mean it. I can’t do this without you.

I’m sorry, Malia. We’re done. 

If they broke up, then why are they married? Surely they wouldn’t be the first couple to break up and get back together. But still. If the gaps in his memory could fill a little faster, that’d be great. Stiles would really like this unsettling feeling to go away. 

“You were in a car accident and suffered a head trauma, so you’ll probably have a lot of headaches. You were in a coma for two months.” Malia sits down in the stool next to him, “last week you woke up, but then went right back to sleep. The doctors said you were healed enough that I could take you home, but that there might be some gaps in your memory once you stopped going in and out.” 

“And how long have I been doing that?” Stiles asks, trying to blink the pain from his skull. “Going in and out, I mean.”

Malia purses her lips in thought, “just shy of two weeks.” Stiles scratches the stubble on his jaw, contemplating her words. “Sorry about that,” she gestures towards his face. I was too worried to try and shave it in your sleep. If it helps at all, I think you look pretty cute, angel.”

That name. That name scratches the back of his brain something fierce.  

“Right,” Stiles says, nauseous all of a sudden. “I think-” he takes a deep breath, pasta and meatballs threatening to come back up. “I think I’m going to go lay back down.” 

“I can take some of your pain, if you think it would help,” Malia offers, grabbing his hand gently. Black veins appear on her skin, rippling and the nausea subsides. Stiles’ eyes grow wide and he yanks his hand away. “Stiles?” He jolts out of the stool, staggering on his feet. “Stiles, what’s wrong?” 

He doesn’t get to answer. His vision blackening and consciousness fading away. 

You’re not a monster, you’re a werewolf.

I’m a thousand years old, you can’t kill me!

What are you?

Better?

I came back for you. 

You can’t say anything. Stiles, please, don’t say anything. 

Heartbeat’s rising, Stiles. Am I getting to you that much? You can tell me, if it’s too much, you know. I don’t want to push you too quickly. 

When were you going to tell me that you two got together?

As soon as I figured out how to word it, Scotty. 

I’m not upset or anything. I just want you to be happy, that’s all. 

He does make me happy. 

He. He makes me happy. Not her. He. Stiles blinks open bleary eyes, finding himself in the same ridiculous bedroom. He either wasn’t out for very long, or he slept well into the next day. Were those dreams or were they memories? Stiles can’t tell. But that face. Dark brown hair and beautiful blue eyes telling him that he came back for Stiles. Surely that’s not a face that Stiles’ imagination can just conjure up, right? 

No. That’s not right at all. The brain can do many incredible things. But while dreaming, it can’t simply create new faces. Even if you’ve only seen one in passing, it can throw it into a dream. Pairing that with the conversation with Scott and the Nogitsune, something is seriously wrong here. Yanking the covers off, Stiles ignores the pain in his head and rushes out of the room to find the pictures of him and Malia. Upon closer inspection, the space around their necks is blurred. Like they’d been poorly photoshopped on the bodies. 

They’re fake. 

Stiles screams, falling to the floor again. Forehead to the cold, wooden floor he takes deep breaths, trying to stop the visions, but they come full force. Clearer than before, but still pretty splotchy. Not even the dream about Scott being a werewolf or all of the other supernatural bullshit he’s dealt with hurt this badly. 

“I can’t let you do this,” Malia growls, eyes swimming with unshed tears. 

Stiles scoffs, “there isn’t any letting me do this. You don’t control me, Malia. We’re not together anymore. We haven’t been for months! Why can’t you just let me be happy? Even Scott doesn’t have a problem with this. And if anyone should, it’s him!”

“Because, Stiles,” the coyote snarls, “you should be happy with me. So if I can’t have you, no one can! Definitely not your little mutt either,” Malia rushes him, bashing him upside the head so hard that it knocks Stiles out cold. 

Tears spill from Stiles’ eyes as he stays on the floor. Malia kidnapped him. She- she attacked him! He has to get out of here. But how? There’s no phone to call for help. No laptop to try and email someone. Maybe her car isn’t the only one here? Stiles gets up on shaky legs, hobbling down the stairs. Feet firmly planted on the ground floor, the human dashes through the kitchen, yanking open the door that’s hopefully for the garage. But when he opens it, he’s met with boxes and storage containers. No other vehicle in sight. 

“Dammit!” Stiles curses, slamming the door closed. “Come on, Stilinski, you’re the son of a sheriff for fuck’s sake. You can figure this out. All you need is a phone.” He paces the kitchen, thinking of his next move. There’s no way he can take a werecoyote head on. No way. Surely there’s something he can do. Running isn’t exactly the smartest option, he hasn’t got the slightest clue where he is. He’d sooner end up dead in the woods surrounding this house than anywhere near civilization. 

Maybe, Malia will take him into town and he can get some help that way. But how? What’s a good enough reason that she won’t suspect something is wrong? Telling her flat out he wants a phone is just a surefire way of raising all kinds of red flags with the coyote. But she did seem worried when he winced because his head hurt. Maybe…that’s it!

Stiles bolts back up the stairs and into the bathroom. Jerking the medicine cabinet open, the human grabs the bottle of painkillers. Without a second thought, he pops open the cap and dumps the contents in the toilet. Flushing it and watching as the little red pills swirl in the water and down the drain. Now, he just has to wait for Malia to come home. 

God, this better work. 

From the fragments of his memory trickling back, someone he’d called Peter had taught him how to steady his heart while lying to a supernatural creature. Peter, whoever the hell you are, thank you. You might just save Stiles. Heading back to the living room, he grabs one of the books off the shelf that he’s read countless times and opens to a random page, setting the empty medicine bottle on the side table. Making it seem like he’s been sitting here reading all day rather than plotting his escape. A few chapters later, just as Luce is about to stretch one of the black blobs into a portal, the front door opens. 

Where does she keep going that she always comes back empty handed? You’d think for someone trying to keep someone kidnapped, they wouldn’t leave the house so much. Maybe he should’ve tried his luck running.

“Oh, good, I was worried you’d still be asleep,” the coyote smiles at him. Coming over to sit beside him on the couch, Malia lifts his legs into her lap, gently stroking his shin. He so badly wants to yank himself away. “How are you feeling? Anything come back to you today?” 

Stiles can hear the trepidation in her voice, like she’s concerned he remembers everything. While the human remembers the important stuff, he’s not about to tell her that. So he shakes his head, “nothing major, just a few things. My head hurts pretty badly though,” he offers, pointing to the painkillers beside him. “But I ran out of meds.” 

“Oh no, you poor thing,” Malia says, “let me head out, I’ll go get you some more.”

The coyote tries to get up, but Stiles stops her, “no!” Malia’s eyebrows raise in question. “Uh, I-” the human clears his throat, trying to remain calm. Aloof. Nothing suspicious going on here. “I was hoping that I could go with you. Get some fresh air. Might help with the headache, you know?”

Malia doesn’t look convinced, “aren’t you afraid of being back in a car so soon?”

"You taught me to face my fears," Stiles says, willing his heart to remain steady. He’s also not really lying. He’s scared as hell but still going head first. 

"I did?" 

"Yeah!" The human smiles, trying to seem excited and genuine. "By going after your mom, you taught me that even if something scares you, you should do it anyway because you'll come out stronger. Just like you did." 

“Oh, honey,” Malia coos, lifting his hand to kiss his knuckles. “Okay. Go on and get changed and we’ll head into town, okay?” 

Stiles smiles, not showing too much excitement at her agreement, “thank you.” When he gets up from the couch, he pushes further and kisses her on top of her head. Hopefully that kills any doubt the coyote might possess. 

---

Calling this place a town is generous. Might as well be a village. The town limit sign they passed said the population was 138. That’s not a lot of people at all. Actually, that might work in his favor. With that few people living here, maybe there’s a chance that it’s one of those everyone knows everyone sort of deals. And them just randomly showing up will raise enough suspicion. At least that's his hope. 

It was a task in and of itself to get Malia to let him go inside with her. The coyote is clutching his hand almost painfully as they walk down the aisle for the needed medicine. Stiles grabs a few things along the way. Like a soda, a random candy and a bag of chips. Malia simply smiles at him as he makes his choices. Good, believe that he’s making the most out of this little impromptu trip. Grabbing the bottle of medicine, the coyote all but drags him towards the checkout area. 

So much for stalling. 

What’s the thing all the videos on the internet say? Blink twice if you’re in trouble? Surely that’s just a joke to them, but maybe it will actually work in his favor. 

“Aww, aren’t you two just cute?” The dark skinned woman at the counter beams at them. “You just passing through?” 

Stiles pointedly blinks twice. Earning him a strange look from Angela, so her name tag reads. 

“No,” Malia gruffs, “we live up the hill.” 

“The old Jameson place?” Angela smiles, “that’s a lovely property.” Stiles blinks twice again. “You okay, hon?” 

No. 

“He’s fine,” Malia speaks for him. “Can we just get the medicine, please? He has a headache.” 

“Sure thing,” the clerk oozes with faux niceness. Her customer service voice is in full swing though Stiles can see the irritation in her brown eyes. “Anything else?” 

“No,” the coyote clips, swiping her card, not bothering to look at the total. Before Angela can say anything else, Malia snatches the bag and yanks Stiles away. 

Help me, Stiles mouths at the woman, but Angela just looks confused. Shit, shit, shit. This was his one shot! His only chance of getting out of this! 

“Hey, can we go get some food?” Stiles asks, pointing at the diner across the street. “I’m hungry,” the human says. Maybe he can make a break for it in the bathroom. Write a coded message in his fucking ketchup. Something. 

Malia looks over his shoulder and growls deeply. “There’s food at home,” she gruffs, shoving him towards the car. 

“Malia, wa-”

“Stiles?” A male’s voice calls. Stiles whips his head around seeing the boy who keeps showing up in the flickers of his memory. He’s with three other boys and two girls. All look worried and almost relieved seeing him. “Stiles!” He yells, once his blue eyes lock with the human, his footsteps picking up pace in their direction. 

White hot pain splinters Stiles’ skull.

“Theo, are you sure?” Stiles asks, though he can’t hide the smile pulling at his lips. 

“The Beast is dead, the Dread Doctors are gone, and you’re finally fucking safe,” the chimera grins. “I’m more than sure,” his red eyes flicker for a second. “There’s nothing I want more than you.” 

“But-”

“Do you trust me?” Theo asks, grabbing both of Stiles’ hands, rubbing his knuckles. Rain sprinkles around them as they stand on the outskirts of the preserve fresh from a fight. 

“You know I do,” Stiles whispers. He hasn’t had any mistrust for the chimera for a long time now. 

The Alpha smiles brightly, rain getting harder, “then say you’ll be my boyfriend.” 

“Okay,” Stiles agrees, his smile broken from Theo’s lips crashing against his as the sky pours around them. Soaking them to the bone, but neither boy cares. They finally have each other. 

“Let’s go,” Malia snarls, trying to drag Stiles away and closer to her car. 

Stiles tries to pull her hand off, grunting, “no.”

“Stiles!” Theo yells again, hastily following after, his pack hot on his heels. “Miecz, wait!”

The human trips over his feet, the name shooting sparks in his brain, blinding his vision with more memories. Faster and in quick succession. So much cycling through his head, it makes Stiles dizzy. He’s going to throw up if this doesn’t stop soon. Until one final memory comes into sharp focus. 

The chimera curls closer to him in bed, rumbling softly in his chest as Theo nuzzles into him. “You know there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, right?” The Alpha asks, placing a kiss to the back of Stiles’ neck. “I’d follow you anywhere,” he says. At least when Theo says it, it sounds reassuring and sweet. 

Not stalker-ish like Malia.

“Yeah,” he whispers, thinking back to earlier in the day when Theo had to kill Donovan. The Doctors had revived him and he’d been in hiding for months. Waiting for the perfect time to strike. Just when everyone was thinking things were finally calming down again was definitely the right time. They almost lost so many people, Stiles included. “Thank you for saving me.”

“I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again,” the chimera assures him. “Anything, Miecz, I mean it. I’d put a ring on your finger right now if you’d let me just to prove it to you.”

The human sputters out a laugh, “yeah, right.” 

“You think I’m kidding?”

“A little bit, actually, yeah,” Stiles turns in bed to face the Alpha. 

“Haven’t you learned by now not to underestimate me?” Theo smirks, releasing his hold on Stiles to get out of bed. Digging around in his nightstand, the chimera produces a small black box with a little purple ribbon. “I was saving this for after graduation,” he explains and Stiles bolts up into a sitting position. Theo drops to one knee, “Mieczysław, I love you more than anything in this world,” glassy blue eyes look up at him. “Will you marry me?” 

Stiles’ breath hitches in his chest, the chimera opening the box to reveal a simple silver band. “Yes, Theo, yes!” He exclaims, flinging himself off the bed and into the Alpha’s arms. “I love you so much, Theo!” Slamming his mouth into the other boy’s mouth, Stiles can’t stop giggling. 

When he finally pulls away, Theo grabs the ring from the box, “I got in engraved with our initials.” Tilting the band, sure enough there’s an S and T with a heart beside it. “There,” the Alpha smiles softly, sliding the rind onto the human’s finger. “I love you, Miecz.”

“I love you too, Theo.”

“Tracy, stop her,” Theo growls, eyes burning red only a few paces away from them. Malia dragging Stiles as he desperately fights against her hold. Why are there no people on this fucking street? The pair slams into them. In their haste, Stiles ends up encased in the Alpha’s arms while the coyote falls to the ground, unable to move. The human narrowly missed her claws in the scuffle.

“What did you do to her?” Stiles asks, “is she a kanima?” 

“You don’t remember?” Theo pauses for just a moment and the human shakes his head no with teary eyes. “I promise, I’ll explain everything, just let me get you safe first, okay?” Theo asks, scooping Stiles into his arms. “Corey,” the chimera calls, one of the boys rushing to their sides, “get us out of here.” 

Suddenly, the world has a green hue to it. Stiles is so confused, his head throbbing painfully as more memories flash behind his pinched eyes. The ring on his hand was never from Malia, but Theo. Saving Scott from trying to kill himself with gasoline and a road flare. “It’s all coming back. My head,” Stiles groans, curling into Theo’s chest as he cries from the pain. From the recollection of his life coming back. “I’m so sorry, Theo.” 

The Alpha shushes him softly, whisking him away from the scene. The two boys following behind them while the girls stay with Malia. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I’m here. It’s not your fault, angel. I’m going to keep you safe, okay?” 

“It hurts,” Stiles sobs into the chimera, fingers aching with how tightly he’s clinging to Theo’s jacket. “Theo, it hurts,” he whines, shaking from the pain.

The Alpha adjusts his hold, wrapping his hand around Stiles’ exposed wrist, “better?” He asks and the human can feel the pulling sensation of pain being taken. Knowing for certain if he looked down, there’d be black veins on Theo’s hand. Stiles nods tiredly. “I’m taking you home.”

“No,” Stiles panics, jerking in the chimera’s arms, “please, I don’t want to go back there.” 

“Hey, hey,” Theo brushes their noses together, speaking softly. “Our home,” the chimera corrects. “You never have to see whatever place she had you in ever again. Unless you’d like to go back and burn it down. I wouldn’t be opposed to that idea. Preferably with her inside of it,” Theo growls, his eyes flashing red in his anger. 

Stiles’ heart slows back down, anxiety washing away at his actual fiance’s words. “She hit me really hard,” he explains. “I still don’t remember everything, but it’s coming back in pieces.” 

“We’ll see if Deaton has a way to fix that when we get back, okay?” Theo assures him. “But first, we have to get you out of here and get you to your dad. He’s been going crazy without you.” 

“Thank you,” Stiles mutters into the Alpha’s neck.

“For what?” 

“For saving me.” 

“I told you,” Theo chuckles softly, holding him tighter, “there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, Miecz. Get some rest, we’re almost to the car. You’ll be home soon.” 

Stiles doesn’t hear much after the nickname, falling asleep in his Alpha’s arms. His memories might not be fully intact, but he has enough recollection of Theo to know that it’s going to be okay. That even if they don’t fully come back, his Alpha isn’t going anywhere. For now, he’ll sleep. 

Safe for the first time in months. 

[basiccortez]

Smoke Session ~SFK

synopsis: just a lil smoke session with a certain bass player

warnings: devils lettuce

REQUESTS AND INBOX ARE OPEN (send me y'all thoughts)

You were nervous, and Sam could tell. You sat quietly on the couch, watching Sam’s every little move from how he picked the perfect bud to use, to how he methodically grinded it down with a costume grinder you got him for his 21st birthday, how his tongue liked the rolling paper as he rolled the joint tightly in his fingers. You hadn’t ever smoked before, you were always too scared.

You remember a night when your sister had come home, paranoid out of her mind that the stars were falling out of the sky, and then getting violently ill and crying the whole night. It had terrified you, and pushed you away from wanting to try. But, there was something comforting about being around Sam when he was high, he was just so calm, and smiley and happy. You wanted to have that feeling, you wanted to try it.

You had told Sam how you felt about it, how nervous you were to try, but Sam had promised you, he would help you through it. He said the first time isn’t that bad, that you’ll probably get tired, fall asleep, and wake up wanting something to eat.

“Okay,” Sam said putting his finishing touches on the joint, “You know how to do this?”

“Does it look like it?” You asked him and he smiled at you.

“Sassy,” He said, “It’s easy, you put it between your lips-“

“I know that Augustus Waters, speed it up,”

“It’s a metaphor, Hazel Grace,” Sam added, “You put it between your lips, I’ll light it, you take a deep breath, hold it in your lungs for 3 seconds, and then exhale. Okay?”

You nodded and shifted on the couch. Sam held the joint to your lips, you opened them slightly as he placed it between your lips, still holding on to it with one hand. In the other, he brought the lighter to the end of it, the fire lighting the end of the joint. You could smell it burning, and it made your eyes water and your throat go dry. You didn’t know how much to inhale, so you inhaled as much as possible, trying to hold it in as long as Sam said, but failing miserably. Coughs shook your whole body, and tears filled your eyes as it hurt your throat.

“Water?” Sam asked you and you nodded still coughing. Sam jumped up from the couch, grabbed your water bottle and kneeled in front of you, rubbing your back soothingly as you drank the cool liquid, “You okay?”

“I didn’t know how much to inhale,” Your voice was gravely, as you still coughed. Sam chuckled and shook his head, “Don’t laugh at me!”

“I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing with you,” Sam said, causing you to giggle, “You’re not gonna die on me are you?”

“No,” You said, setting your water bottle down, “I want another hit,”

Sam smirked and handed you back the joint, doing the same process, but this time you briefly inhaled, only enough to taste it, holding it in your lungs and then releasing. Sam had a proud look on his face, as he took a couple hits of it. Before you knew it, you two had smoked the whole thing, and you were laying upside down on the couch, your mind in a complete haze.

You weren’t really sure what you were thinking, or if you were thinking anything. Do I even know how to think? What the hell was thinking? What part of the body was in charge of thinking? How can I be thinking and speaking in my head at the same time? Did I think a think first or just say words into a conversation and think them after?

“Sam!” You said, sitting up from your spot with a jump. Sam was scrolling on his phone, the high barely settling in on him, “I don’t think I ever learned how to think.”

Sam opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it, a quizzical look on his face. He was stumped on that question too, and he wasn’t even that high, “I honestly don’t know how to answer that,”

You mumbled something and flopped back down. Your eyes searched the room rapidly before swinging your legs around, to make you sit up right, “Do you think Josh has ever had a Taki?”

“Have you ever had a Taki?”

“Do you have Takis?”

Sam couldn’t help but smile at your dopey, red eyes. Your cheeks had a blush to them, and your nose was red from rubbing it. Sam found everything about you being high cute.

“I don’t, are you hungry?” You nodded your head very enthusiastically, and Sam stood up from the couch to make his way to the kitchen. He looked around, shaking his head at the lack of food he had in his apartment, usually if he was getting high, he made sure he had snacks. But you had caught him off guard with your text asking him to smoke.

“So, I don’t have a lot but I can make. . . you Mac n cheese,” Sam said as he walked into the living room to see you passed out on the couch, on leg thrown over the back of it, small snores leaving your mouth, “I knew it,”

Sam smiled, grabbing a blanket from the basket he had by his tv. He unfolded it and placed it over you, lightly tucking you in. He kissed your forehead, and he swore he saw a smile form on your face. He laid down on the other side, and closed his eyes, soon falling into a blissful marijuana induced sleep.

------------------------------------

note: I don't condone smoking the devils lettuce, but the idea of smoking with Sam makes me feral. anyway, REQUESTS AND INBOX ARE OPEN. send me your thoughts, I wanna interact with y'all cool cats n kittens.

[waitineedaname]

"Accidently ending a phone call with your roommate with a casual ‘I love you’ seems like a very good reason to move out"

For benrey @ gordon?

“And can you pick up some oat milk while you’re there? I just realized I’m out.”

“Man, oat milk freaks me out,” Benrey said, pushing their shopping cart towards the dairy section anyway. “Like, do oats even have, uh. Others?”

“Others?” There was a beat of silence as Gordon attempted to figure out exactly what the hell Benrey was talking about. “You mean udders?”

“Yeah. Cow things.”

“Dude, that’s not how oat milk works.” Gordon’s laugh made Benrey’s cheap phone speakers crackle.

“Then how does it work? Huh? Mister scientician?” Benrey propped the phone between their ear and shoulder as they opened the fridge door to grab the brand of oat milk he knew Gordon liked.

“I don’t fucking know! I’m not a goddamn milk scientist.” Even through a phone call, Benrey could hear the smile on Gordon’s face. “They squeeze juice out of the oats or smush them into a paste or something. I don’t know. Stop making me think about how oat milk works, it’s going to make me not want to drink it anymore.”

“Cool, so I’ll buy milk with extra lactose then.”

“You will not, unless you wanna deal with me laying on the couch complaining all afternoon because my stomach hurts.”

“You do that anyway.”

“Fuck off, man.” Gordon’s tone of voice didn’t carry any bite to it. “Alright, I gotta go, I’m almost at the end of the queue to pick Joshie up. I’ll see you back at home, okay?”

“Mhm. Love you, bye.” Benrey hung up and shoved their phone back in their jacket pocket. They unfolded the shopping list and attempted to decipher the mix of their own chicken scratch, Gordon’s doctor handwriting, and the occasional misspelled request for snacks in Joshua’s six year old handwriting. Okay, they had to get those frozen chicken nuggets Joshua liked, another pack of seltzer, a can of black beans since Gordon was planning to cook dinner tonight-

Thinking about Gordon made them suddenly freeze in place as they realized what they’d just done. Did… Did they just say “love you” on the phone with Gordon?

Aw, fuck.

They’d been living with Gordon for a while now. It hadn’t always been an easy thing for either of them. When they’d been freshly respawned, both of them had been jumpy around each other at best, and at worst, they were at each other’s throats trying to kill each other. It took a long time and a lot of uncomfortable conversations for them to get to the point where they could interact without an unbearable amount of tension. From there, they were able to start rebuilding an actual friendship. Turns out, they got along a lot better when they weren’t in mortal danger. Who knew!

Living with Gordon involved a lot of rules, both spoken and unspoken. They involved stuff like “don’t ask weird questions about Gordon’s feet,” “if one of them gets too angry, walk it off instead of actually fighting,” and “no gross body horror in front of Gordon’s son.” It also involved shit like “please for the love of god don’t put empty juice cartons back in the fridge” and “don’t stain the carpets with Sweet Voice, this is a rental and that security deposit is worth getting back.” So far, Benrey hadn’t had too much trouble following the rules. They had been a security guard, after all; following rules was supposed to be their thing. Besides, they were a low price to pay to get to spend time with Gordon.

One of those early unspoken rules, however, had been “keep the flirting to a minimum.” That one had been a little tricky at first, but it had been necessary, especially back when they still weren’t on the best of terms. Benrey learned that when Gordon was already worked up, blowing a kiss did the opposite of diffusing the situation. This was news to Benrey. Who didn’t love a little kiss from their buddies? Lame.

That had been an early rule, though, and one that had kind of faded into the background over time. The longer they lived together, the more physically affectionate they both got, and a little domesticity is only to be expected when you share a household. It was nice. Comfortable.

And then Benrey had to go and say “I love you” on the phone. What the fuck.

That had to be crossing a line, right? Gordon was fine with some handholding and some cuddling and they’d make dinner together once a week, but this had to be pushing it.

Benrey went through the rote motions of buying the rest of their groceries without really paying attention, too busy panicking. There was only one option. They had to move out. This was fine. This was totally fine. They could just crash on Tommy’s couch until they find a place of their own because there was no way this wasn’t going to make Gordon freak the fuck out. As much as they loved fucking with Gordon, they’d learned there was the fun kind of freaking him out and the bad kind of freaking him out. They were fairly certain this fell into the bad category.

By the time that they were walking up to their apartment door, they were already mentally packing up all their things, resigned to their fate. They were so stuck in their own head that Joshua barreling into their legs when they opened the door actually startled them.

“Benny!” Joshua cheered, clinging to their jeans.

“Hey, li’l dude.” Benrey carefully tried to push past the kid without tripping over him on the way to the kitchen. Tragically, that’s where Gordon also happened to be.

“Hey, what took you so long?” Gordon asked, taking some of the grocery bags from them. “I thought you’d gotten lost in Costco again.”

Benrey grunted noncommittally and started putting away groceries instead of answering Gordon. Maybe if they didn’t look at him, they could avoid confronting whatever Gordon’s reaction was. Yeah, definitely, this seemed like a sustainable, reasonable decision to make. Yep.

“Dude.” Gordon’s hand suddenly appeared on their forearm. Benrey stared at it, then looked up at Gordon’s concerned face. “Are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You’re putting carrots in the utensil drawer.”

Benrey looked down at their hands again. Oh. So they were.

“You’ve been acting weird ever since you got back from the store,” Gordon said, gently taking the carrots away from them. “Did something happen? You wanna talk about it?”

Benrey screwed their mouth up. No, they didn’t want to talk about it, but learning how to talk through things like adults was something they both had agreed to do. That had been a rule introduced by an exasperated Tommy, sick of mediating their bullshit. So, they sighed and looked away while Gordon put the carrots in the vegetable drawer of the fridge. “I was thinking about how I’ve gotta move out.”

“What?” Gordon stood up too fast and smacked his head on the freezer door. He swore loudly, and Benrey reached over to hand him a bag of frozen peas to put on the back of his head. “Thanks. But also, what? Since when are you moving out?”

“Uh, since now?” Benrey said, confused. Shouldn’t it be obvious?

“Why?”

“‘Cause I said I love you on the phone? Dummy? You, uh, a fucking old man got bad brain disease, not remembering things?” They said, defaulting to picking on Gordon to avoid focusing on anything else. Gordon stared blankly at them for a moment, then, against all odds, a grin spread across his face.

“Benrey,” He said, and Benrey decided he didn't like that tone one bit, “Are you embarrassed?”

“Whuh? No.” There was no way they could be embarrassed. That definitely wasn't what was going on here. Nope. Not a bit, “...Maybe.”

“Dude, you don't have to be embarrassed about that.” Gordon laughed. “Do you know how often I've said stupid Freudian slips? I called my sixth grade teacher mom once and wanted to change my name and move to Canada. I've been there.”

“It wasn't, uh… It wasn't too much? Not crossing a line or anything?”

“Nah, man. It was kinda sweet.” Gordon flashed him a smile and finished putting away the last of the groceries.

“Cool.” Benrey relaxed, letting go of the tension that had been building in their shoulders. “That's good ‘cause I was gonna fight you for custody of your Xbox.” Gordon snorted.

“Good fucking luck, you’re too much of a Playstation guy to win that case.”

The evening passed relatively uneventfully from there. Gordon enlisted Benrey’s help in cooking dinner, and Joshua eagerly told them all about the cool dinosaur facts he’d learned in class that day. They went through the easy routine of watching just one episode (which of course always turned into several episodes) of Joshua’s choice of TV, then Benrey helped wash up in the kitchen while Gordon put Josh to bed. Gordon joined them as they finished washing dishes and squeezed Benrey’s shoulder affectionately when they were done.

“Alright, man, I think I’m gonna head to bed early tonight.”

Benrey nodded. “Cool. I’ll be quiet.”

“Don’t worry about it. G’night, dude.”

“Night, Gordon.”

“Oh, and Benrey?” Gordon paused in the doorway of his bedroom and waited until Benrey glanced up at him. Gordon smiled. “Love you too.”

He shut the door before Benrey could respond, leaving Benrey to stare blankly at the door. They let out a groan, careful not to wake Joshua. Oh, Gordon was going to be the death of them.

[greysfall]

My 4444-word review of NEO TWEWY (with personal illustration + heavy spoilers)

My overall critical score for the game is 7.5/10, while my personal enjoyment score is 8.5/10. This review is posted as I have 80% completed the game, got the secret ending and achieved the Angel psychic rank. I’ll first start with the main pros and cons as follows.

PROS:

-        Enjoyable as a whole, still upholding the first game’s spirit in world building and sharing the same backbone - which was mostly revealed in the Secret Reports, it’s impossible to grasp the story without reading them.

-        The new cast and new game is charming in their own way

-        The old cast’s return is one of the biggest highlights for sure, it was fun and impactful. Everyone stays true to themselves and also had their own stories wrapped up nicely.

-        Boss designs are cool, new pins are fun to use and collect

-        The connection between the old and new cast is well written and executed, including but are not limited to the tension between the old and new protagonist, the weird but fun interaction between the 2 Composers, the new friendships revealed and formed

-        Sho being in the main cast is something so uniquely TWEWY and uniquely Sho

-        Still good music

-        Still many fun side quests, some of them really uphold the same quirky spirit of the old game and some are surprisingly touching

-        Many new nice stores and yummy looking foods to explore

-        The map is really easy to memorize for me, it’s fun to travel around the “current” Shibuya to see all the differences compared to the past

-        The social network is crazy and interesting to read through

-        Has an anti-frustration system to help 100% complete the game more easily and earn money faster, so post-game is relatively managable.

-        Overall, I really feel the efforts the team poured into making this as their passion project, not just during the development process but for all the last 14 years. They showed the vision of what they wanted to make, at the same time giving something to both the old as well as new fans.

CONS:

-        The biggest problem with the game is scenario writing. The story is so heavily back-loaded. The director himself thought it would be better to balance out the tension flow by adding more at the beginning but gave in to the scenario writer in the end, probably due to time pressure. This results in an underwhelming execution of characterization and lots of wasted potentials for the first half of the game.  

-        I struggle to view it as a stand-alone game, since the backstory and the old cast both play such an important role in the core of the game. If someone plays this game without having played the OG, they can only enjoy it on surface value at best.

-        The new cast is nice but most of them aren’t quite as intriguing as the old cast, maybe it’s cuz they’re all too nice deep down that they lack a little bit of an edge, of that batshit craziness that everyone in the OG used to have? I think some characters (Fret, Nagi) ended up weaker in terms of characterization because the writer is too afraid of making them unlikeable – which kind of backlashed cuz they only became likable in the most expectable way to cater for a specific group of fans. I would have wished for the other team leaders to be more crazy too, had they not suffered 30+ loops of the Game…

-        The CAMERAWORK IS HELL.

-        Gameplay does get tedious at certain points with all the time travels.

-        Shiba is so badly written as a villain, some Shinjuku characters should be given more screentime cutting into Shiba’s– like Hishima or Kaie or even, Hazuki (though his limited presence also solidified his importance).

-        Some of the main character designs, for example Beat’s hairstyle and his food reactions are hilariously bad. What’s the point of covering up most of his unique facial features?

-        Some of the minor/side characters’ design are too cool for them to have such a small role (eg: Ayano, Eiru). Ryoji did get much screentime but is nowhere as fun as Makoto was.

-        Overall the scope of this game is made a little too big for the team to handle as perfectly as the last game that was very compact, it felt somewhat rushed in development too so the missing pieces are clearly there in the final picture

The entry fee versus paying for it all in the end

An important difference between the Neo game and the original Shibuya game was that the Shibuya rule asked for an entry fee that is the Player’s most important asset, stated as a chance the Composer gives them to reexamine themselves. Meanwhile, the Shinjuku rule neither encourages nor allows personal growth and ultimately aims to erase as many Players as possible. It’s a pity we were never introduced to the full Shinjuku rulebook, as it seems like the system there focuses more on building up power and a grand government to compare with the individuality-driven system of Shibuya.

When you have to compare the new game and the original game (OG), this is an important factor to consider. Also, the OG has a serious storyline running through and through, locked with a different partner/GM creating unique atmosphere for each week and you don’t get to see your old partners again until the end. NEO’s team system does not allow such deep insight and communication between the Players. All of your teammates are always there throughout, the dynamic does change with each new addition but it is not as prominent as a partner change.

Another important factor is how the OG was built from scratch for a new platform as “something no one has ever seen before”, while Neo recycled a lot of old unused ideas from the previous development (check out this interview for more details). The development team for NEO lacks 2 key members and had a change of writer so the final product is not as strongly bound together as the last game.

The new cast is definitely inspired by today’s teenagers (from the view of creators), compared to the old cast they’re more sociable and always seem to take whatever works for them despite feeling unstable inside. They are all innocent and genuinely nice kids, avoiding to hurt each other to a degree that they end up keeping some sort of distance. They’re also unable to communicate at deeper levels, always stagnant at this half-baked stage of equilibrium without any motivation to get to the core of things. That is the cost of entering the game without an entry fee, without even dying or having a reason to be there/to fight seriously. These kids were stolen from the RG into a Game that was decidedly the worst environment for them to change or develop, just wandering around cluelessly to find a way “out” until tragedies started to unfold one by one and they ended up being charged the total sum of the price for their actions – ultimately losing everything in the end.

That is, I believe, a story arc which can resonate more to the youth of today rather than of my generation. If the message of the old game was to “listen”, enjoy life to the fullest and accept to trust others, the message of the new game is to “speak up” from the inside, trying to understand yourself and take actions instead of just going with the flow and finally, to take responsibility for such actions.

If Neku was handpicked by the Composer for being the special one with an all-dense soul to ensure victory of the game then Rindo was just a normal kid chosen out of random by Kubo to be his back-up plan, who just happened to have a high enough imagination to awaken the incredible power from his pin. Rindo was then officially chosen by the Composer as Josh picked up and handed the pin to him again, this time not as Josh’s personal Proxy – but as the Proxy to represent the normal people of Shibuya and via whom he could gamble if humans can fight for their own fate.

The underworld heroine and the hero with little of his own

Shoka is for me a refreshing and layered heroine. She’s the kind of character that took at least 3 trials of creators to form as a complete individual – that included Nomura who gave her the base design and Reaper background, Gen who gave a more cunning touch and the writers who made her English dialogues more punchy. Dishonesty equals “tsundere” is such a cliché, so the English writers tried really hard to avoid that trope in my opinion, while still letting her good intention come through.

She serves as the character who is informed of everything the players should have known, and there was almost nothing she could do about it. Almost. Until she met Rindo.

They were drawn to each other by sharing a state of “not having anything of their own”. They both started out with not being able to truly know themselves, Shoka even hated her RG life but also managed to mature from that stage before Rindo. She must have vibed with Shiki’s love and passion in the Gatto Nero threads, initiating her connection with Shibuya and understanding herself more. With Shoka as Swallow, they were able to open up to each other and offer mental support… but was still not getting to the centre of their problems because for all this time, Shoka could not tell Rindo the most important things about herself.

How did Shoka feel when she met Rindo at the UG? She probably didn’t want to hope that he would live the day until she witnessed the Twisters’ potentials. From the very beginning, they were both incredibly conscious of each other and also constantly frustrated that the person they happened to “notice” was such a condescending bitch/a clueless loser. The Shinjuku Reapers are overall quite drunk in power and uncompassionate to Players, Shoka included. She is also a master of dissociation, which results in her constant boredom, tone swings, haughtiness and subconsciously distancing herself from the friend – the boy she cares about – from false hope, as she judged from facts that it was a hopeless situation where nothing could ever be. Maybe she is naturally a bit of a chameleon just like her name suggests (Shoka 紫陽花 = hydrangea, the color-changing flower), so putting on an act and always dissociating herself from what’s important was easy, while hiding her contradiction was impossible. It was the ex-Reaper Beat who broke it out to her, that she should decide whether she really cared and wanted to do something for a change. He knew how it felt like to cross that line, and knew she wanted to too.  

Shoka is endeared by many of the Shinjuku Reapers and has shown independent acts of kindness (the Shinjuku ghost), proving that her kind and truthful side is as real as her harsh and dishonest side – which makes her a nice mirror to the previous heroine Shiki, who also embraced a dichotomy of self-complex and self-love within her character. In the end, she was the first of the new cast to ultimately accept all that is important to her and independently made the decision to help save Shibuya despite all costs.

She was jealous at Rindo’s interaction with Tsugumi and Kanon but remained silent cuz she wasn’t at a place to have any say about it. She also didn’t reveal about Swallow because that would only add an awkward irrelevance to their current situation, as she was too ready to face erasure at the end of the Game. She only wished to “play a game” with him, be it FanGo or the Reapers’ Game. The tension that the team could only feel at the end, she’s felt it the entire time. The song “DIVIDE” is applicable to not just one bond in the game, but it always makes me think of theirs. There is always a “divide” between her and Rindo throughout the course of their journey, as the living and the dead, as a Player and Reaper, as someone who has a place to return to and someone who doesn’t, someone who knows little but wields too much power and someone who knows a lot despite not being able to do much.

“If only I had the chance to connect with you on the other side

But time goes on, and without us realizing it

The battle is getting heated

Time goes on, and without us realiazing it

Divided again”

To be honest, maybe I didn’t grow any affection for the new main cast from Rindo’s perspective but from Shoka’s. Since I started to sympathize with Shoka, I started to see the boy in a more “real” way. The real Rindo, behind his peaceful façade with others, would lash out on Shoka for her unfairly harsh attitude while none of the others cared. He could also subtly feel that mantle of unspoken secrets from her, her own contradictions, the unresolved chemistry between themselves – and not knowing what to do with it rather than to feel angry with all the unfairness he could not process. (As a Libra too, he’s triggered the most by unfairness!)

It is actually a positive development as he’s at least “reacting” to something strongly now rather than to keep evading his problems. During my replay, I clearly saw the difficult situation Shoka was in, her remaining harshness after the Motoi incident was due to her internal struggle with a mission to save her own life, versus a chance to really be with the team. Her decision was to do both at the risk of losing favour from both sides. Rindo started to accept her layer by layer, as the person who resonated the most to her contradicting nature from the start and knew that via learning her resolve, he has learnt his too.

Later into the game, she even got too much of his attention. Maybe even without knowing she’s Swallow, he’s familiar with her thinking direction and Swallow had always been closer to him than any other friend. It was only after she had to betray her important ones twice that she could start being truly honest. The scene when she died a 2nd time left a strong impression in me, the little reveal let Rindo know that he is also losing Swallow as he’s losing Shoka – and that only death could drive the last secret out of her. Her final “Later, loser” echoed through Rindo as it was the final truth, with only him remaining to hear it: they had actually, already lost everything.

Rindo was the boy who never dared to face all that matters to him until he lost it all, fighting an unfair battle in the faith that they would somehow still win. Shoka was the girl who always knew what was dear to her, but never dared to think she could be together with them ever after and still threw her all into a battle she knew was losing. I think they stir each other on naturally to fill out their gaps, similar to what the Shibuya game partner systerm would have aimed for. The end reward was a little divine intervention to help close up the divide between them once and for all.  

During the game there was not enough space to process anything personal so at the ending when they officially became “friends”, it was an important affirmation of their bond. Some people complained it was friendzoning but it’s not, they just have arrived at the perfect place to start something more. “From now on, we will truly be together” – I read it as that kind of message.  

The heroine from a lost battle, with her story taken away

After reading the secret reports and playing the game to be surprised of how small a role Tsugumi had in the main game despite being the “Hype-chan” thought to be a major character of the next TWEWY installment, many fans would feel sad at a missed opportunity to see the Shinjuku arc in full depiction.

It was shown clearly that, a Shinjuku arc was very carefully planned out and is a vital part of the whole story, yet it could not be made due to various circumstances behind the development scene. I would assume, that the team were not able to make a TWEWY game that ended on a despairing note, but it already happened in their mind, thus becoming a mental burden that forced them to break away from it and started the game anew with NEO. A significant part of NEO became the healing arc for the Shinjuku characters, especially for Tsugumi though I really wished more emphasis should have been placed on her rather than Shiba. We didn’t even get to see her brother – Shinjuku’s Conductor who had a vital role and instead was given the clueless Shiba, who had absolutely no idea what’s going on all the way until the last day in NEO. It’s as if Tsugumi has had her story stolen away from her, because her own battle ended with a saddening loss.

I think every time the game creators look at Tsugumi, they would feel that sadness too. Maybe to them, she is a bigger character than what is seen by the fans, as despite their failed effort to depict her story, she’s lived in their mind for all these years through periods of destruction, healing and rebuild.  Though it is a pity we could not get to experience the full scope of the Shinjuku story, the creators was clear about the place they wished for it to arrive at.    

Individuality, connection and the social network

The team system adapted from Shinjuku rulebook does not allow much room for personal development, as the team dynamic is closer to a work relationship forced to bear results, than a spiritual bond to max out all corners of understanding as found in the partnership system. The old Shibuya system allowed only 1 winner and 1 week limit per game, while the new rule declares for a 1 winning team and only the team at last place will be erased – the other teams will enter another loop. Furthermore, whichever team to challenge the unwinnable Ruinbringers will face the risk of ending up dead last followed by erasure. As a result, the longest-standing teams are most likely not the strongest ever recorded, but the ones who have figured out a strategy to simply survive until something changes, enjoying their newly found social constructs while they are at it. Basically, it is a system to hypnotise players into the illusion that they are still “living”.

Therefore, we as players would not get to the core of each Player individually as fast and directly as we did in the last game. The Twisters were able to stand out not because they’re powerful, they only started to have a real chance after growing enough to each form a meaningful and personal connection to another teammate. It did not come as a team, nor did it intiate from the existing friendship between Rindo and Fret. In fact, I did not find much solidity or anything truly note-worthy about the main team and new characters within themselves until they started clashing with other team members, Reapers and new recruits from week 2 onwards. Rindo found his personal development with Shoka (via a clash with Motoi and pretty much a mini dating sim between them), then via the confrontation of his role with Neku; Fret found his with Kanon then Nagi, the team learned about the real Neku via Beat, Neku entered the UG via Coco’s wish to save Tsugumi… it was not the team but their personal links that empowered them to fight and solve each of their problems.

The other team leaders may have failed because they did not form such personal links, after 30+ hopeless loops Fuya’s team all fell apart to pursue their own interest even at the cost of erasure, Motoi quit his KOL façade to work like a dog for the Reapers (probably to save just his own ass not his team), while Kanon dropped her tricks to find changes via honest cooperation in acceptance of a fair loss. The despairing note in that is huge without making much of a scene because their failure didn’t happen at their best effort to “win”, but in their last attempt to find a way “out”. Even Shiba got his way “out” in the end thanked to his personal friendship with Hishima and Tsugumi.

Something has shifted in the mindset of the game creators in the last 14 years, as both games are about “connection vs individuality” but the last game focuses more on connection between just individuals and this one on the overall network that is formed out of those individual connections.

The introduction of Beat into the main cast was truly the bridge between old and new, they helped each other out in several turns before officially recruiting him. Beat is a character whom a lot of fans including myself have felt somewhat concerned about after Neku disappeared from the RG, so when the new kids welcomed Beat with warm and organic interaction and Beat seemed happy, I started to feel like I wanted to help them out too! I think the overall team chemistry is enjoyable enough for new players, but I could warm up to the new kids more from the pov of a returning character – whom I’m glad to be Beat, as the older brother figure who is genuinely kind, fun, serious and upbeat at the same time; who is needed and needs the kids in return.

The social network is a fun and refreshing feature. You can read all of the crazy tidbits about Shibuya and the links each character have formed with the town people, it’s also fun to visualize how the characters act off screen. Characters’ profiles provide extra insight into their background too, like how it reveals Tsugumi has been friend with Coco during her time in the RG. During the game when not all characters have showed up, you can sometimes guess which empty spot will belong to whom. For example there is a 1 character linking to Neky that is not linked to anyone else, so I could guess that was Joshua, and that another character linking only to Joshua was probably Hazuki, hinting that the 2 Composers are related before either of them even showed up.

Hazuki only showed up for 5 minutes, but his presence is so vital and true to the game that I think he is the most memorable out of the new cast. The two Composers have such an intriguing bond, with their yin/yang or phoenix/dragon themes, opposite color design, the sempai/kouhai tone and the way they keep some sort of distance/work relationship as if it’s mandatory between Higher beings, yet at the same time they can talk so casually because they are truly equal – and different from one another. I have written a separate meta on them here.

Some people pointed out, that all Shinjuku characters’ names and themes are based off Hanafuda cards and the Phoenix in Hanafuda belongs to the Paulownia suit – which is Joshua’s name flower. This is so interesting because it feels like the creators somehow saw it as a sign to interweave the Shibuya and Shinjuku storylines together. Though it doesn’t come out much on the surface, it’s fascinating nonetheless considering both Josh and Haz had at some point interfered with the other town’s affairs.

“Shibuya tour with Haz” was such a special scene, as it happened between 2 characters who do not/no longer have a reason to care about Shibuya, on the subject of what is worth saving about Shibuya. Hazuki carried out the purification of Shinjuku and stepped in to restore Shibuya just as part of his job and unlike Hanekoma or Joshua who both possess profound understanding of humanity, he really didn’t know humans at all. Rindo’s irrational wish invoked in him a sense of curiosity, to try gambling on something irrationally and learning a bit of what his senior have experienced. With all the pieces put together, it provides an overview on Higher beings as a whole, and that Joshua and Hanekoma are really the odd ones out with Hazuki being somewhere in between them and the rest.        

The old friends

It’s easy to have returning characters overshadow the new cast as they have already matured out of their personal story arc and stayed in our hearts for all this time. In the end, I have managed to enjoy both the old and new cast separately and altogether, and they will both find their own place in our memory of this game for the long term.

Sho is truly as crazy as ever, the game wouldn’t be the same if Sho is any less of what he is. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like Neky or Beat is younger than Nagi at all, with moments when it seems like Neky has aged 14 years instead of 3 years. His friendship with Coco surprised me pleasantly, and their interaction together with Beat was fun to watch. Rhyme’s found a new dream and her friendship with Kaie is precious too, especially considering that she can still talk to him online after the game ended. Josh and Neku’s interaction suggested that they have resolved the past and are on equal terms now, they even parted ways in good spirit and I don’t feel any worry about them like I did before.

Neku and Shiki’s reunion scene was beautiful, theirs is such a special bond that it has grown and supported them even without being able to see each other. I am so happy to see them all again and that they stay true to who they are, albeit looking more grown up, cooler and happier than ever before.  

Overall, NEO can’t become a classic on par with the OG, but is definitely a good sequel and a good game in its own rights. I’m happy with whether or not there will be a 3rd game to complete the 3 monkeys theme, but if there will be – I hope the creators can really find the time to learn from the last 2 games and start over with a fresh mindset and strong core.  

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

If I Fell For You (Part 12) - Not So Sweet Home

Summary: Jensen is fed up with his parents ignoring Y/N all day and when he gets a moment alone, blows up on them like never before. The reader sees how upset Jensen is over what’s happening and does her best to defend him while still trying to salvage a relationship with them...

Masterlist

Pairing: Jensen x nanny!reader

Word Count: 6,200ish

Warnings: language, major family angst, mention of a dead parent

A/N: Eek! If you like angst this part is for you! Please enjoy and let me know what you think!

________

It was late, the kids asleep in the guest bedroom, Jensen’s siblings and their families gone home for the evening aside from his brother. He made some half ass excuse about wanting to hang out with Jensen more but you knew he could sense what you did. Jensen was getting close to popping after a whole day of politeness on his part and his parents ignoring you on theirs.

Jensen was bouncing his knee like crazy as he sipped on his beer around a gas fire pit, suddenly stopping when you shifted in your seat.

“Maybe you ought to cool it with the alcohol tonight,” said his dad. Jensen set his empty bottle down on the grass and breathed deeply through his nose. “Your legs been-”

“Y/N, would you get me another beer please?” asked Jensen. You took the opportunity to get out of there, surprised when the back door opened quickly after you, his brother closing it behind him.

“I don’t think your parents like me very much,” you said, going to the fridge and pulling out a drink. 

“I know,” he said, glancing out the dark window. “Jensen asked me to make sure you don’t come back out there.”

“He’s gonna go off on them.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m guessing,” he said with a sigh. “I have a feeling this isn’t going to go well. You guys can crash at my place if you want. We don’t have a guest room but we have an air mattress we can put in the family room.”

“You think it’ll be that bad?”

“Yeah,” he said quietly.

“Then why are we in here talking about this when we should be out there making sure he doesn’t say something he regrets in the morning.”

“You might hear things you can’t unhear,” he said. 

“Right now my concern isn’t if my feelings get hurt. He’s really upset and I need him to be okay.”

“You know that’s why the rest of us like you, don’t you? You care about him, the kids. You’re in love with him.”

“Yes I am,” you said as he nodded.

“You call me if either of you ever need anything,” he said, going back to the door. You nodded and took a deep breath, following him outside and already hearing raised voices.

“She’s half your age, Jensen,” said his mom. “She was your nanny. Sweetie you have to know what’s going on here.”

“You’re getting played,” said his father, catching you walking out with Josh.

“She is not half my age. She’s thirty fucking years old! She’s a goddamn adult and been through more shit then both of you put together! She’s not after fucking money,” snapped Jensen who was already out of his seat.

“You’re engaged to the girl after five months!” said his father. “It took you years to propose the first time around!”

“Because I was a nervous kid that was away working constantly. I didn’t want to make Dee stay if it was gonna make her unhappy. I’m not afraid of how I feel anymore because I feel the same about her as I do Dee and I’m not wasting my time so I can stick to your socially acceptable schedule,” said Jensen. “I love her and she’s gonna be part of this family whether you like it or not. Deal with it.”

“You need a prenup,” said his dad.

“No I don’t!”

“Yes you do! You’ve known the girl for not even six months!”

“She’s not up to anything!” shouted Jensen.

“Son-”

“Have you ever lost your wife? Have you ever been in the car and almost die yourself while you watch her breathe for the last time? Where she’s hurt and you can’t do a thing to fix it? Have you ever had to tell your children their mother is dead and she’s not coming back? You have no idea, no idea, what that does to you, how much it hurts and how much it hurts when you’re still so fucked up and your parents start making comments behind closed doors about you and you have to pretend you’re better when you’re really not. When you don’t even care about yourself anymore, when you pretend for everyone’s sake so they stop treating you like a child, when you don’t know how to tell your kids it’s okay because it’s not. It’s not. Until you go through that, until you know how bad it hurts, don’t assume a damn thing about her. She’s my best friend and she makes me feel like my old self again. I laugh and smile and have fun and when I get scared or feel guilty or freak out she makes me feel better. I don’t give a fuck how old she is or what her job was. She’s kind and good and she deserves better than you two. Danneel’s parents like her. Jared’s parents like her. Her old foster dad’s family likes her. Our family likes her except for you two. Get your heads out of your asses or you can not even bother letting me know you exist anymore. I’m done with things hurting the women I care about. I couldn’t stop what happened to Dee but I can sure as hell keep Y/N away from the two of you,” said Jensen. He huffed and walked off, Josh running off after him. 

“Well congratulations. You got your hooks in him deep, don’t you,” said his father. You rolled your eyes and his mother scoffed.

“You can take care of someone without treating them like a child you know. He’s an incredibly strong person. If you don’t like me fine. But don’t call him stupid or easily manipulated or imply that it’s wrong to know you love someone after only a certain amount of time. I love your son.”

“You love his money,” said his mom.

“I do just fine on my own,” you said, narrowing your eyes. “He’s staying at Josh’s house tonight. We’ll pick up the kids in the morning.”

“He’s overreacting. He’ll be fine in the morning,” said his dad. You crossed your arms and leaned your head back. “He’ll be fine.”

“You two don’t know a thing about me and you assume I want money because of my age and my former career. Don’t assume your son will be fine and get over it.”

“We’ve known him a lot longer than you have. He’ll get over it after a night’s rest.”

“You may have known him longer and I’m sure in some regards you do know him better but not the ones that matter. If you did, you would have seen how much he would have loved for the two of you to like me. I would have taken some respect and been happy because trust me, I get how this looks to everyone else. I understand you have fears and I’m not mad you have them. I’m mad you assume those are facts when all they are is a story you made up in your head you don’t want to change. He’s right, I’m not going anywhere. The difference between him and me though is that I’ll stay out here all damn night with the two of you until you get it through your heads that I’m not here to fuck him over. I love him. I don’t have family, not really. Things have always been screwed up for me pretty much until I met him and he didn’t have to say it for me to know that he was hoping he could share the two of you with me. Maybe I was hoping for that too. But right now I’ll take some goddamn respect and an apology to your son to start and we can go from there.”

“You’re gonna curse at us and expect an apology?” said his mom. “We know you took him when he was at his low and tricked him into trusting you so you could get exactly what you wanted.”

“You know what I want? What I’ve always wanted and somehow always seems to get ripped away? A family. A stupid fucking family. Being a nanny? That let me feel like part of the family. I could pretend I was like all of those people I worked for. Nice and normal and like people gave a shit. Some kindness and a family is all I’ve ever wanted. You two...you wouldn’t have survived a day in my childhood. In my adulthood with the shitty ex boyfriend and the crappy friends and I picked myself over all of them because my mom told me to stand up for myself. Even when she couldn’t be there and I wanted her to. So I stand up for myself and now I stand up for him and those three kids to anyone and I mean anyone, that hurts them. He’s my family and those kids are my family. I don’t know what you think I’m gonna do but I guarantee the only thing I will do is tell you two where to shove it and to leave him the hell alone.”

“Why would we believe anything you say? At all?” his dad asked. “It’s probably the same sad story you told him to get him on the line. I don’t buy it.”

“I have a million dollar book deal. I’ve worked rent free for a lot of rich people since I was eighteen years old. Do I sound like someone who needs his money?” you said. You put your hands on your hips and shook your head. “What is it? You want me to sign a prenup? I would but he doesn’t want one. He trusts me and for a guy that lost his wife and had to work through falling in love with another person, I respect that. He knows what he wants and he’s not wasting time. This is scary for him. It’s scary for me. But when Dee’s parents gave me open arms and kindness and their blessing, the last people I ever expected to disapprove were you two. If you’re going to stand there and keeping calling me a liar, I’m going to find your sons and I’m going take care of Jensen instead of wasting my time here.”

“We don’t disapprove of him moving on and marrying again,” said his mom as you turned to walk away.

“Could have fooled me,” you said. 

“He’s going too fast and he doesn’t know you either, not well enough to make a decision like that,” said his dad. You turned around and smiled.

“He knows my favorite color. He knows what my favorite flavor of ice cream is. He knows why I have nightmares and he knows how to make me forget them in the first place. I’m sorry we aren’t doing things on your schedule but it’s his life. He can do whatever the fuck he wants with it, whether that’s me or somebody else. For the record, he knows me just fine. Oh and if this is how you plan on speaking to him again in the morning, I’ll pick up the kids myself.”

“We’re looking out for his best interest,” said his dad.

“No, you think you’re looking at his wallet for him. See money? People think that’s important and it is but best interest? It ain’t that shit,” you said as you started to leave.

“Well what do you assume his best interest is then?” said his mom. 

“Treating him like an adult. He is smart and strong and the most emotionally healthy man I’ve ever met which considering all the fucked up shit he’s been through and felt the past year is really saying something. He’s your child but he’s not a child. He found someone he loves and all he wanted to do was share me with you. This was his worst nightmare and I couldn’t stop it. So if you’re not gonna even try with me, then I’m gonna protect him from you.”

“He doesn’t need protecting from us,” he said.

“You call him stupid and that he can’t take care of himself, that he can be fooled and that the person he thinks is his best friend really only wants him for his money. He knows none of those things are true but it’s what you said to him when you said that about me. For a man who went through what he did, it wasn’t mean. It was cruel. I’m gonna go fix what I can of your relationship with him because despite all that, I know you guys love each other and I’m not letting that get fucked up because you think whatever the hell you think about me.”

You stormed off around the house and found Josh’s truck still there but neither man in sight. You looked around and heard a sniffle, your head going up to the roof. You saw the lattice work on the side and climbed up, peeking your head up to spot the two of them sat on the roof.

“Hey,” you said quietly. Jensen wouldn’t look at you, Josh rubbing his back. 

“Careful,” he said as you climbed up and slowly walked over. You took a seat on your bottom, spotting the window behind them. “That was my room. Jensen used to sneak out this way. I was always too nervous of getting caught to try myself. You landed the bad boy of the family.”

“Oh yeah, such a bad boy,” you said. You scooted closer on your butt to him, Jensen resting his head on his knees. “Hey. Before you even think about it don’t say you’re sorry.”

“I know,” he said. He took a deep breath but looked up, looking fairly normal aside from a slightly pink nose. “I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Nobody was,” said Josh. “I’ll give you guys a minute. I’ll be in my car when you’re ready.”

“You should go home,” said Jensen. “Staying in a different house won’t change anything.”

“That was kinda fucked up what they said.” Jensen raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. “I don’t always agree with them. If you guys want to stay, that’s your choice but I’m not going home without telling them what a mistake they’re making.”

“You don’t have to-”

“You’re my little brother and I like her. Even if I didn’t, they’re being assholes and she doesn’t deserve that. You don’t. Alright?”

Jensen nodded and Josh walked off to the lattice and climbed down while you scooted next to Jensen. 

“You thought your siblings weren’t gonna like me,” you said.

“He’s a good person. He’s never told off our parents before so...I don’t know if I’m happy about that or not.”

“He’s a good big brother,” you said, wrapping your arms around him. “I don’t love you for your family though. I don’t care if your parents don’t like me. I’ll deal with it.”

“I wish you didn’t have to,” he said.

“I still like your dad so much better than mine,” you said.

“Yours is a monster to be fair.”

“Yeah, he is. Yours love you and I don’t agree with them but in their minds, they’re protecting you and I don’t have a problem with anyone trying to do that.”

“How are you so fucking kind to them after they basically said you’re with their dumbass son because of money?”

“Like you said, I know monsters. I know toxic and bad. They aren’t it. They raised you and I really, really like you. Good people can be stupid and still be good. In the morning we’ll try again.”

“What if I can’t get them to change their minds?” he said quietly. 

“Jensen,” you said, moving to squat down in front of him. You grabbed his cheeks and he stared at you. “You don’t have to pick anybody over anybody. Maybe I won’t be close with them but that’s okay. It’s so okay. We’ll respect each other or just won’t talk to each other and we’ll figure it out but we don’t have to do it all tonight.”

“I think what bothers me the most is they’ve already made up their minds about you based on your age when they don’t even realize who you are. They don’t see that this is the kind of person you are, kind and supportive and I heard you not taking their bullshit. You’re a stronger person than I am and I wish they could see that the reason I’m not freaking out over this is cause I know you’re my partner and you got my back like I got yours. I’m just having a hard time understanding why they won’t even listen to us.”

“I don’t know,” you said, eyes darting to the window when you caught some movement inside. You narrowed them and glanced down, spotting the crack between the windowsill and frame. “I’m a little cool. I’m gonna get my sweatshirt if that’s okay.”

“Careful climbing in,” he said, turning on his bottom and pushing the window up. You kissed his cheek and climbed inside, the room empty as far as you could tell. You stepped out to the hall and into his old room, getting your hoodie, his old hoodie. You pulled it on but went downstairs, catching his parents in the kitchen with Josh.

“Josh may I speak to your parents in private,” you said.

“Yeah. I’m done here. I’ll be over for brunch, okay?” he said. He walked past you and caught your arm. “Call me if you need me back.” You nodded and he kissed your temple before he went out. 

“Were you eavesdropping on us?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“We went to tell him to get off the roof. We could see him from the backyard up there,” said his mom, putting her back to you as she mixed up something in a mug. “But we heard the three of you talking and then the two of you. We didn’t mean-”

“We are all on the same side. His side. We should get along. It shouldn’t be this difficult and I don’t appreciate private conversations being listened in on. But I hope you understand that you hurt your son. I know you didn’t mean to and it’s the last thing you’d ever want to do to him. But you did. So please try to help me fix this. This isn’t easy for me to accept that you don’t like me either but you’re gonna respect me. If we can respect each other, then he’s not going to worry as much at least. Please promise that we can agree to that,” you said. His parents looked at each other and you sighed. “You have to be kidding me. What do you want me to do? Go away? I can’t do that. I won’t do that.”

“That’s not...Jensen called your father a monster up there,” he said. 

“I thought it was a sob story according to you ten minutes ago.”

“You said you don’t have parents. He said your father is alive.”

“What’s your point, Mr. Ackles,” you said. “Please enlighten me.”

“It doesn’t make much sense to tell different stories,” he said. 

“You can’t even give me the benefit of the doubt that I love your son. Why the fuck would I tell you things only he knows, things so few people know about. Why would I trust you with the worst parts of my life when you don’t accept the best ones. For your information, my birth mother is dead. My adoptive mother is dead. I wish my son of a bitch father was dead. The only glimmer of a parent I have maybe, maybe was my foster father. That was until last weekend. I met some parents. I met Dee’s. I met Jared’s. I got the same message from all of them. Let us know if you ever need anything. Oh the way he looks at you. You must be pretty special. Anything at all, you give us a call. People that don’t even have an obligation to look in my direction treated me like I was their kid. So maybe he and I both got our hopes up with you two and that was on us. If you want to pick apart what I’ve said and call me a liar…” you said, putting your hands on your hips. Your shut your eyes and breathed deeply, turning around. “I don’t care if you have to pretend to respect me. Just do it for his sake and the kids sakes, alright?”

A tissue appeared over your shoulder and you took it, blowing your nose and stepping away. 

“When did your mother’s pass?” you heard behind you. You threw your head back and took a deep breath.

“When I was born and when I was sixteen,” you said, turning around and swallowing. “Why does that matter?”

“When were you adopted?” he asked.

“Why do you care?”

“Please.”

“I was eight,” you said.

“So you only had your mother for eight years then,” he said. 

“Yeah. She got sick when I was fourteen. I stayed with her boyfriend until I moved out for my first nanny job at eighteen. It was all very sad and angsty,” you said.

“Who made the first move?” 

“I’m done with this interrogation,” you said. You started to leave but he stepped in front of you. “What do you want from me?”

“I just want to know who made the first move, you or Jensen.”

“I don’t…” you trailed off. “We had a fight. I told him I didn’t want him to be my friend anymore, he was just my boss and that was it. We couldn’t hang out at night and stuff anymore.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t want him to hurt me,” you said quietly. “I didn’t fit with his life. I’m not a pretty actress. I’m not smart. I’m the younger nanny and that’s all I was gonna be until I became an older nanny and that was supposed to be my life. I didn’t ask for…”

“For what?” asked his mother, carrying over her mug and setting it down on the end table.

“I didn’t ask for him to love me. But he did and I don’t know why but I trusted him not to hurt me. It’s not fairytales and roses all day every day but I like having a best friend and I never would have submitted those books to a publisher without him encouraging me and I need him to feel better. He can’t catch a break lately and I hate seeing him upset. It makes me sick to my stomach and I really, really need him to be okay so please stop doing this. Just stop. Please. I don’t care if we have to pretend the rest of our lives but please, I can’t keep seeing him take hit after hit anymore and not being able to stop it.”

You weren’t expecting the hug from his father or to bury your face in his chest for a brief moment. His mom guided you to sit on the couch, pulling a blanket around you. She handed you the mug and you saw it was hot chocolate, your eyes darting back and forth between them.

“This isn’t about to be like a lifetime movie where you murder me, right?” you said. 

“No,” said his mom as she sat next to you. “We hurt you quite deeply today, didn’t we.”

You stared at the mug, holding it in your hands. 

“You were looking forward to meeting us,” said his dad as he sat down on your other side.

“It doesn’t matter. All I care about is him.”

“I don’t think he’d be very happy with you laying down for a semblance of normalcy for him,” he said.

“Just spit out whatever the fuck you want,” you said. You gripped the mug and shut your eyes.

“I’d like you to stop swearing please,” he said. “In exchange, maybe we can have a second chance.”

“Second chance at what?” you said dryly.

“At meeting our son’s fiance.” You lifted your head and stared at him, catching a bashful look you saw in Jensen every so often. “We understand, as well as we can, he was hurt after Danneel. We can’t fix those problems like when he would scrape his knees. We knew he was in a vulnerable position and things between the two of you seemed so fast for how in pain he was. We thought of the worst of you before knowing you and that wasn’t right of us. We were trying to protect him. But like you said, we all try to do that. So if you’ll let us, give us a second chance.”

“For him, I will give you both a second chance,” you said. “I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you this but this sort of thing isn’t going to go away just like that, for him or for me.”

“Is there anything…” said his mom as you shook your head. “We are sorry for before. Truly.”

“I know. Trust is difficult for me on a normal day. You guys kinda tore through the safety nets I thought I had with you. I need to build them up again is all.”

“That was you that said that, people have safety nets,” she said. You raised and eyebrow and she sighed. “Jensen, months back, he told us his therapist told him that, put things in perspective.”

“I guess couple’s are kinda each other’s therapists,” you said. “Sometimes they just need to vent to each other too.”

“Before you said...has he ever been to one?” asked his dad.

“Last weekend was...intense. I went to one as a child and he talked to him for a little while, helped him put things in perspective,” you said.

“Intense? Did you fight?” she asked.

“He and JJ got stung by a scorpion. It was a little serious. We went out the next night and I made a comment and he took it a different way and he got upset thinking I thought of myself as being less in his eyes than Dee was. I know it’s not true, it’s just different. He’s been having a really great week aside from today.”

You took a sip of the hot chocolate and went back for more, drinking half the mug down. 

“We screwed up,” said his dad with a sigh, sitting back against the couch. 

“Yeah but he’ll forgive you,” you said. “This is really good Mrs. Ackles.”

“Thank you sweetie and call me Donna. I made it for Jensen. He’s always liked it when he was living here and having a bad day.”

“Why do you think he’ll forgive us?” asked his dad as Donna got up.

“Because he’s Jensen. He’s not an angry man. Angry in moments but he doesn’t hold onto anger. I wouldn’t expect anything less from him. So I know he’ll forgive you. When I’m not sure of but it won’t be forever.”

“Have you two ever fought badly?” he asked.

“We’ve had a few fights. Mostly small and when we’re both tired or hungry. We had a big one a few weeks ago when he got home but we talked about why it happened and how to make sure it doesn’t again,” you said. Donna carried over a kettle and poured more hot chocolate in your mug. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Don't ask about fights Alan. It’s not our business. We should let them tell us what they want,” she said as she walked back to the kitchen.

“They probably should have had a big fight at least once to know if they can work through those things and it sounds like they have,” he said when he turned to you. “I know you’re probably love struck but marriage? That’s a lifetime of putting in the work.”

“Alan if I didn’t care about putting in the work I wouldn’t be down here right now. I know I don’t know everything I’m signing up for and no one really does but I know him and the kids and that’s worth the parts I have to work at.”

“You sound older than you look.”

“Age doesn’t always equal life experience,” you said.

“I suppose not,” he said. He stood and took a deep breath. “I do apologize for thinking the worst of you and not giving you a fair chance upfront.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’m going to bring this up and check on him.”

“Can I ask one last thing?” asked his dad. You nodded and he looked over to Donna who gave him a short nod. “Josh said you really love him.”

“I do.”

“Do you think he loves you the same way?”

“I know he does,” you said.

“How are you so sure?”

“How are you so sure your wife loves you?” you said. “Goodnight Alan.”

“Goodnight,” he said, his mom catching up with you in the foyer where the stairs were. You gave her a tired smile and she nodded.

“If I told you something, would you keep it a secret from Jensen?” she asked.

“No,” you said with a smile. 

“I had to try,” she said. “We’re not like this by nature. Something happened he doesn’t know about when he was recovering that put us off to you. A woman. A young woman at his physical therapy.”

“What happened?” you asked quietly. She took a seat on a step and you sat beside her. “If someone tried to take advantage of him, you should have told me and him. He thinks you guys have gone nuts, no offense.”

“You’ll find with time you’d rather have your child safe and upset at you than the other way around,” she said. 

“What happened?”

“We moved down to the house for a few months to help Jensen. He went to physical therapy. A very good place. A family friend works there and got him in and he regained a lot of strength in his leg quickly because of it. There were nurses that often helped and he worked with a few regularly and they develop a relationship and all that. It’s good for morale and healing we were told. One of these girls was about your age and our family friend overheard her gossiping to a friend on the phone during a lunch break.”

“Gossiping about…” you said. “Jensen?”

“They saw an opportunity to manipulate him. He is smart, smarter than the both of us together, but he was going through the motions that first month. She made him smile a bit. She flirted with him. Our friend told us what she’d said and we realized, he could be hurt again. Taken advantage of for what he has, what he can offer. His sudden shift in mood this year, introducing you as a fiance, made us think we’d failed to protect him this time.”

“Why not tell him that?” you asked.

“And tell him he was being manipulated back then? He’s so adamant that it can’t happen to him but we know different.”

“I think you should tell him, Donna. It makes your reaction today seem not so…” you said, her head shaking.

“Ma,” you both heard. You looked over your shoulders, Jensen sat against the wall at the top of the landing. “Mom. Jerry told me why I got a new nurse when it happened. She was nice, or was pretending to be, I don’t know. But I didn’t like her. I never got manipulated and I was never going to.”

“How long-” you said, Jensen rubbing the back of his neck. “You heard everything.”

“Yup,” he said, popping his p, his dad coming over to the bottom of the stairs and staring up. “I don’t want to talk to either of you right now. Y/N, I’d like to go to bed, please.”

“Accept their apology Jensen. You can hash out the rest of this in the morning but accept that they know they were in the wrong,” you said. 

“Why should I?” he asked, cocking his head.

“We both got hurt out of their love for you. They are not monsters and I know the difference,” you said. “You know too.”

“Will you two ever look at me the same again,” said Jensen, staring at the landing. 

“Honey it was a fight. It’ll be alright,” said his mom, his head shaking.

“Ever since I woke up in the hospital, you two look at me like I’m a kid. Like I’m weak and defenseless. But I’m not. I’m stronger than I’ve ever been and this whole day could have been avoided if you treated me like your adult son, not the kid who fell off his bike and cries over a cut. I needed you two to take over, I did, I honestly did after the accident. I couldn’t take care of myself let alone the kids. But you haven’t stopped thinking I can take care of me again. I can. I do. I know I’m your kid but let me be an adult again. Trust me. Please.”

“Come here,” you said, holding out your hand. He slid down the steps and you stood up and aside, letting him get a hug from his mom and then dad. 

“We’re sorry,” said his dad.

“I know,” said Jensen quietly. “Never do something like that again. Ever.”

“We won’t,” he said. You leaned against the wall and sipped on the hot chocolate, Jensen’s nose twitching.

“That’s my cocoa,” he said, turning his head up at you.

“I just Jerry Springer’ed ya’ll. I get the cocoa. Get your own,” you said. He smiled and you gave it right back, his parents pulling off and bringing him to his feet. 

“Come here,” said his dad as his mom dragged him off towards the kitchen with the promise of hot chocolate. You stepped down until you were about his height and took a drink, licking your lips when you finished. “How do you just let that go? You were so angry before.”

“I’ve been to therapy. I have good diffusing skills,” you said. 

“Is that a joke?”

“Not really,” you said with a smile. “You made a mistake because you love him. I’m gonna make mistakes because I love him. So when I screw up, now you owe me one, deal?”

“I know it’s getting late but would you be willing to stay up a while longer, maybe find out that favorite color?” he asked. You smiled and nodded, stepping down.

“Depends on the day,” said Jensen, stepping out with a mug of his own.

“He’s right,” you said. “You okay to stay up a bit?”

He nodded and walked back to the family room, taking your hand. 

“Better?” you whispered to him.

“Yeah. Not all the way but definitely better honey.”

It was warm when you woke up the next morning. You peeled open an eye and caught Jensen laying awake, staring at his ceiling. You kicked off the blankets and he reached an arm out, pulling you to lay on his chest.

“It’s hot in here,” you mumbled, eyes shutting again.

“There’s a box covering the vent,” he said, dancing his fingers lazily over your bare arm. “It’s almost noon.”

“Seriously?” you said into his chest, nuzzling against his soft skin.

“Yeah. Sounds like they’re out back with the kids,” he said. You nodded and felt him move his fingers all over you, soft and light, absentmindedly tracing patterns every so often.

“Still upset?” you asked, his head nodding. “They’re human. They fuck up.”

“Are you angry?”

“I was. Not anymore. I kinda like ‘em actually.”

“Why would you give them a second chance?” he asked. 

“When I got adopted I didn’t like, instantly love my mom. I was scared of her at first. I don’t know, I get that you can not like someone at first and then love them unconditionally, you know? It’s weird but your opinions can change once you get to know someone.”

“I don’t do a very good job of protecting you from things,” he said, tilting his head, moving a few hairs behind your ear. You looked up at him, his fingers playing in your hair behind you. 

“Honey you went off on your parents last night. I bet you’ve never done that to them. You were trying to protect me and you did. No one has ever protected me the way you do,” you said. “Today is a new day and I’d like to get to know my new family some more.”

“Okay,” he said softly. “I’ll follow your lead.”

_______

A/N: Read Part 13 here!

[jonnnysuh]

could we get along with svt in real life?

A collaborative series by @vernonsnostrils and me (Nala)!

A/N: Lately Bee and I have been doing daily rankings for fun and we decided to share our very very specific and dumb insights with all of you. For this one we're ranking who we think could tolerate us......... <3 Warning: Dumb info ahead

NALA:

13.Wonwoo – looks scary. I also have a rbf so imagine us together omg. Everyone would think we’re vampires. No one would want to be friends with us so we’d only have each other.

12.Woozi – I feel like I know nothing about him :-( He’s an amazing musician, and does come off as a little tiny bit mischievous. I feel like Woozi is the type of guy I have every class with but then we graduate never saying a word to each other.

11. Jun – I think Jun is funny as hell but he’s so quiet. I’d want to be his friend but I wouldn’t know how to approach him. Everyone loves him tho so he has his pick of friends and it does not include me LMAO

10. Jeonghan – (this one kind of doesn't make sense bc he should be higher on the list,, but also?? i'm the one who made this list so fite me) but I think that me and him are pretty similar. We both have a side that’s devious and wants to create havoc but we’re also the mom friend that takes care of everyone and with that I feel like we’d butt heads/ be the designated parents which is EW I am 20 years old,, I'm no one's mommy YUCK.

9. Joshua – he’s also quiet but I know he has a good sense of humour!!!! Hypes up my bad ideas bc he’s not involved -- but he will be giving me a thumbs up in the sidelines. I feel like he’s the type to make me text the guy I have a crush on “Just do it. What do you have to lose?” UM my dignity??? Tf Josh.

8.DK – The human version of a “pick-me-up” He is so “no thoughts, head empty” and I am too. Let’s go cloud watching !!!!!!!!! Let’s pick flowers !!!! A good friend to text on a bad day bc he will literally tell you the most embarrassing thing that happened to him, and even though you’ve heard it before it’ll still make you laugh.

7. The8 – simple, really. He likes art and I love art. He likes fashion, I like fashion. I feel like we could talk shit together LMAO. He has the most specific roasts but they’re always on point. I need someone who’s a little bit mean in my life <3

6. Mingyu – I know I could bully him jokingly and he’d take it (bc he knows I’m joking) but it wouldn’t stop him from pouting a bit. I feel like he’d be scared of me at first LMAO. We both share the hobby of photography so my ideal day out with him is just wandering around with cameras and taking pics of things we think are beautiful. Also forcing each other to pose in front of a dirty brick wall bc “IT LOOKS COOL, TRUST ME.” “WAIT I DON’T KNOW HOW TO POSE THO” and then he’d literally have to mold me into a good pose bc I am Play-doh

5. Vernon – The calm to my crazy, convinces me not to beat someone’s ass. Walks into my room to say nothing else but “Spaghetti” and then leaves quietly. Doesn’t talk to me for 5 months but will send me a meme at 5am bc it reminded him of an inside joke we had. Live-texts his emotions to me while watching tv shows, and shares new conspiracy theories with me. He’s a little bit too chill, I need someone ready to fuck shit up.

4. S Coups – is reliable and gives good advice bc he’s also a ball of anxiety. Nags me to do the right thing. Messes with me a lot. Would stay on the phone with me if I was home alone and told him I heard a noise. Says “Calm down there’s no one there.” BUT he’d also say shit like “check under your bed”

3. Seungkwan– I feel like we’re just as annoying as each other. He has the biggest heart and is super encouraging and thoughtful. Half the time we’re joking around, and the other half we’re fighting. Very much love-hate. Capricorns and virgos are a superior duo. I said it.

2. Hoshi– all round good vibes. Chaos and Loudness matched. Doesn’t always have to be around a lot of people bc he creates the fun when it’s just us two. The kind of friend I practice flirting on and everyone’s like ??? “You’re in love with him” no bro I’m just bored… we just do this kind of shit and he is IMMUNE to my lovey antics by now.

1.Dino– We bully each other a lot but we also have each other’s backs. Definitely not ride or dies tho bc we will tell each other when the other fucked up. We are sarcastic dumb dumbs and that’s why we like each other. I feel like he would only tell me how much he cares about me on my birthday.

BEE:

13. mingyu – i literally don’t know what i would say to mingyu. “tall man” or “what up big boy.” i would be scared of him until someone taught me how not to be. like i gotta hang out with him in a group setting for three months straight until i can say hi to him when i enter a room. if i saw him i would simply just Not See Him.

12. wonwoo – like mingyu i don’t know if i’d have anything to say to him. him and mingyu both have popular high school boy personalities and that scares me.

11. josh – besides being californian, i don’t know if we’d have anything to talk about outside of in n out and traffic. he’s too pretty for me.

10. The8 – i feel like we’ve been over this for me. he’s too intellectual and polite i wouldn’t have much to say to him. but i feel like we could talk good shit about other people.

9. jun – i think i get along well with people with quiet funny personalities. like the kind where you don’t have to necessarily say anything but look at them and they’re telling you what they’re thinking. he knows that i know. so he kept reacting and looking at me. i think it’d take a while to develop a friendship though.

8. jeonghan – i wanna cause chaos with jeonghan. i want to do lots of things with jeonghan i feel like he would give me piggyback rides while sliding with his socks on the floor. he would tease me and i would be offended for five minutes while he pretends to tell me he’s sorry (he’s not).

7. dino – dino and i would be like twins building a sandcastle on the beach. that’s our vibe. like the kids you meet on vacation and play pirates with at the pool. relegated to the kids table kind of vibe.

6. scoups – he’s like the type to play catch with the stuffed animal in the room while we sit on the floor and chat. like he just arrived and is asking me about my day and picks it up from my bed and we throw it around while talking.

5. seungkwan – i think seungkwan and i could sit and talk outside on the patio when the stars are bright. like we could sit outside and stare out at the stars while i talk about my biggest dreams and don’t even need to see him to know that he thinks the world of me

4. hoshi – i see a lot of face masks. hoshi teaches me how to dance while they rest on our faces, but they keep sliding off because we’re laughing too hard. he has immaculate vibes, like the type to say “here for a good time not for a long time” but it’s an absolute lie because he’s there for both.

3. woozi – although i like to joke that he’s an evil little man, i think we could talk a lot about music and he would be very happy to teach me what he knows, and we’d spend a lot of time developing ideas and growing together.

2. vernon – he has the personality of my irl best friend, like a slightly chaotic aquarius who is horrendously hard to reach like 99% of the time. he’s the kind of guy who would try to make dinner but end up fucking it up so horribly that when i come in it’s like smoky and awful and the fire alarm is going off, so i have to air out the apartment and go get takeout and bring it home to my burned smelling apartment and eat it on the floor of the living room while binge watching a new netflix show.

1. dk – i just love the kind of joy and energy he radiates, like would be excited to do anything at all if it’s with me. would love to accompany me on any task if i just asked, like getting ice cream at 10pm and he’d know exactly what kind of flavor he’d get so it could accompany mine well when we inevitably switched halfway through the cone. saves the bottom of the cone, the chocolate tip, for me because he knows it’s my favorite.

[jester-writing-things]

¿Headcanons from an alternate universe where succubi are humans in the human world and their s/o is a demon? I need to read about them being submissive to a higher being 👀👀👀

Human! Succubi with an demon s/o

Verosika

Shes skeptical until you show her your demon form. Then she’s beyond fucking amazed. She’s been dating a demon!

She want to show you off to the world, you’re one of a kind, literally! She jokes about how she doesn’t need a bodyguard now, she’s got you!

She has you go around in your true form on Halloween to scare all her friends. “Oh that looks so real, where’d you get it?” “Did you make it yourself?” She always laughs at the responses

She respects your power but still acts like she’s the stronger one. She can be intimidating from time to time

Josh

There’s a moment where he’s laughing thinking you’re joking, then you show him and he panics. Have you been a demon all along? So wait you’re dead? Is it legal to date a dead person??

You assure him you aren’t a reanimated corpse and he calms down a bit, though he’s scared of what you could do

He wants to know all about your past life, what was it like? How old where you when you died? Did...you two know each other while you were living?

He wonders why you ever would come back, aren’t there millions of options in Hell? Do...you like him more than the demons? Or are you keeping him for a sacrifice?

Coco

She doesn’t need to see you’re demon form, she believes you. Why would you lie about that kind of thing, what would you have to gain from it?

She is concerned though, this means you died at some point, probably violently given you’re in hell. Do you remember it? Do you want to talk about it?

She worries how you’ll be able to maintain a relationship since you have to stay in hell more often then earth. What if she dies and goes to heaven? Is that it? You’d never see each other again?

She want to help you, you shouldn’t be there, but she doesn’t know what to do, she just tries to avoid and sore subjects

Apple

Oh that’s so cool! Can she see?? She’s all excited, she wants to know everything you ever did as a human and a demon!

Do you like hell? What are the other inhabitants like? Can you die down there? Does this mean heaven is real too?

She’s loaded with questions and doesn’t want to overwhelm you but is just genuinely curious

She notices when you get distressed about certain things and stops, she wants to know but not at your expense

Kat

They are curious, why date a human? Is everyone else down there that boring? They wonder if you chose your firm and if not, how did your body get chosen?

They don’t ask too much, we all die someday, might as well leave some things to figure out on their own right?

They ask if you were truthful about everything you told them, was it all before or after you wound up in hell?

They just want to wrap their head around things but it is admittedly quite a lot to try to understand

Milky

She wants to explore your demon form, how different is it? Is your human disguise real or an illusion?

She’s interested in any horns/wings/tail you have since they are inhuman characteristics and quite interesting

Does your skin feel differently from a humans? She just want to understand you and all demons more

She only touches you if you allow it, she won’t push you into staying in that form if you’re uncomfortable 

Kiki

She doesn’t believe you at first, yeah right, what are the odds she of all people is dating a de-OH SHIT YOU ARE A DEMON

She’s cautious with you like you’re a tiger let out of its cage. You’re so strong and fierce looking as a demon, were you always that strong??

She gloats about the fact she’s dating a demon, you cute wreak an entire city before you get hurt! You’re like having a grizzly bear as a pet!

She loves to see you destroy things with ease, it’s funny how you don’t even have to try to destroy vehicles

Ace

He’s pretty damn strong but you sure put him to shame in comparison. Can humans even get that strong?

He likes having you as a workout partner, you two are like a power couple you both can hold your own and defend each other

Even though you’re so much stronger than him he want to atleast try to protect you, demon or not he loves you

No one messes with him but in you’re human form you get targeted often, so to ensure you don’t have to risking getting outed he defends you

[rena-te]

Since seeing Rindo’s design with the face mask, I like that him and Neku have designs around those aspects of shutting themselves out from the world.

Neku blocks out people with his headphones. Choosing not to listen to the people around him. He has no problem telling people what he thinks though, no matter how rude he is (examples being early in week 1 with Shiki.) He cuts off other people from reaching out to him by putting up a wall around himself.

Rindo wears a face mask. And we know enough about him (from interviews and such) that he doesn’t speak up much in situations (he can if he must, but generally he prefers to stay quiet.) It’s somewhat different from Neku, but there is a similar disconnect from himself and the world around him.

Going in line with this theme (Hearing and speaking to the world around them.) Sight is an interesting angle to take with it. It could be about someone who elects not to consider other’s perspectives in situations. Somebody who is narrow-minded in their view of the world. Even if they speak to others and hear other people’s words, this “protagonist” would be convinced that their worldview is the right one and never consider other possibilities they don’t agree with.

(I could just end the post on this note and make it a tiny analysis type of post. But it’s like 1am so I’m just gonna keep going with this idea. I get very self-indulgent with some things, lol.)

Neku didn’t listen, but once he did he changed drastically. We don’t know much about Rindo and Neo yet, but if the rewind feature could hint at anything, maybe the message is about acting and speaking up before it’s too late? If this sight character does listen to others and does speak their mind, but always convinces themselves they’re right... how could they possibly change? Maybe they don’t change in their story? Maybe they get worse?

...We do know a character who is (or was) remarkably like this. Though we don’t have a solid idea of their past life, it could be reflective in some of the things they’ve said in twewy. They have an interesting relationship with the concept of “sight” as well, in a way that differentiates them greatly from others.

Purely for the self-indulgent sake of everything I was saying above; could it be possible that Joshua had this singular idea of the world before he died as well? With him seeing The Reapers’ Game and nobody believing him, he’d know firsthand that maybe your own perspective is the only one that should matter. The relief he must have felt when Hanekoma alleviated those worries and told him he was right, despite what everyone else told him. We don’t know about Rindo, but maybe all three of these characters looked up to CAT. And since Hanekoma caries this positive philosophy that it’s a wonderful world, connecting him to the theoretical three main characters makes sense.

Plot twist this whole post was leading up to me pushing the twewy prequel ft. Joshua agenda again. Playing with the hearing and speaking aspect in the first two games and tying in sight, to a character who also has a unique ability of sight. (I like how Neku and Rindo encompass these aspects. I think the theming idea of it is very cool and wanted to expand on it.) Though this doesn’t address the visual representation of sight in character design.....hell maybe Josh wore glasses when he was alive, or maybe the representation of it is with his ability to see the Reaper’s Game, idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

With the exception of the self-indulgent Joshua stuff, sight could be a factor in another game. With a brand new character to represent it. But I mean there is clearly some stuff that happened before Joshua became the Composer that is interesting to wonder and could be fleshed out more. And even then, seeing a Reaper’s Game made by somebody entirely different would be interesting as well.

I know I’m going a long way for a theoretical take of a third game before the second is even out, but hey it’s very fun to speculate (with a tiny dash of meta/analysis involved). Even if it ends up being a hit or miss idea.

[justmeandmysickies]

@angstyaches this is probably not exactly what you had in mind but I hope you still like it!

Bonding

characters: Nick and Joe

warnings: emeto

„Please come over, I’m sick.“ That was all Nick had said, before the line clicked, indicating that the call had ended.

Now usually Joe would have called him right back to give him a piece of his mind – he wasn’t Nick’s mother after all – but it was different this time.

Nick was always whiny when sick. His usually so stoic and smug self would be replaced by the attitude of a needy 7-year-old as soon as he had the sniffles. And that was never a reason to worry. He’d be back to behaving like himself after a few days of resting, so Joe usually wouldn’t bother going over there to take care of him. Since Nick would be either sleeping or harassing him 24/7 it was simply not worth it.

But something about Nick’s call had Joe in his car and on the road in a matter of seconds. Something was wrong. Nick hadn’t sounded whiny. He had sounded like he was in pain. Genuine pain. And Joe didn’t like the idea of that one bit.

He arrived at Nick’s building several minutes later, grocery bag filled with sick-day-supplies in hand.

Joe briefly wondered if his boyfriend had been smart enough to leave the apartment unlocked for him but fortunately the door swung open with ease.

Upon entering the small but cozy living room, he was immediately greeted by Fork, the red cat Nick had adopted just a few months prior to the beginning of their relationship. Joe had never understood that decision – he wasn’t particularly fond of the general concept of having pets, especially not the ones that could kill you in your sleep if they wanted to.

Nick however seemed to love his miniature tiger, so Joe had to live with that. Still, he couldn’t help the face of disgust as Fork rubbed up against his leg, leaving behind a trail of red hair on his black jeans.

Despite his obvious dislike for the cat, Joe stepped into the kitchen to check if his ill-stricken boyfriend had remembered to feed his pet. The food-bowl seemed reasonably full, so he started putting away the few groceries he had bought, ignoring Fork who was looking up at him expectantly as he opened up the cabinet that contained the cat treats.

Satisfied with himself, he closed the cabinets and grabbed some Gatorade for Nick to drink. Now came the hard stuff.

Joe had no idea how to care for other people. His entire life he had been taking care of himself but when it came to others he was at a loss. Maybe it was his lack of empathy. Or maybe it was his fear of things that aren’t in his control. Or he was simply scared that people would see that he actually cared. Whatever the reason, he usually avoided having to take care of someone at all costs. But this was his boyfriend, and he needed his help, so Joe had to suck it up.

And that’s why he braced himself with a deep breath and took off down the hallway to Nick’s bedroom, Fork right on his heels.

Joe opened the door in one swift motion, letting the two of them into the room. It was dark; Nick had pulled all the curtains closed. The sick man himself was only a lump buried in pillows and blankets.

Joe stood still for a few seconds, trying to figure out if his boyfriend was asleep, momentarily forgetting about the cat that had followed him into the room. And before he could stop him, Fork had already jumped up the bed, immediately cuddling close to his owner’s face.

Nick groaned and Joe could have slapped himself. He had probably been asleep before Fork decided to get in his face. “Fork, how the hell did you open the door?” The blonde asked, voice heavy with sleep as he gave his cat a little shove.

“He didn’t.” Joe answered as he stepped closer to the bed.

Nick looked up in confusion. He obviously hadn’t noticed Joe standing there. “Josh? What are you doing here?”

Joe frowned. That was alarming to say the least. “You called me.” He put a careful hand on his boyfriend’s forehead, fearing the worst. Nick just hummed, leaning into Joe’s cool palm, who clicked his tongue in concern. “You’re burning up. Have you taken your temperature?” He drew his hand back and Nick whined at the loss of contact.

“I didn’t feel like it.” He mumbled quietly, burying himself deeper in his pillow.

“What do you mean you didn’t feel like taking your temperature? Have you at least taken some medicine?” Joe couldn’t decide if he was very irritated or very concerned.

“No, didn’t feel like doing that either.”

Irritated. He was definitely very irritated. And it took him every ounce of willpower to not yell at the sick man in front of him.

Joe took a deep breath. He could do this. “I’ll get you some medication in a second. First, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Everything.” Came the reply from deep within the covers. It was clear Nick didn’t feel like talking but in order to help him, Joe had to know what was going on.

“Babe.” Joe sighed impatiently, waiting for a useful answer.

Nick groaned but stuck his head out from under the covers anyway. He was quiet for a moment, before he answered. “Everything. I’m not kidding. But mainly my ear. It hurts so bad, when I first woke up this morning I actually cried for a while.”

He laughed nervously after the last part, trying to play it off as a joke but Joe knew it was true. Nick was honest when he wasn’t feeling well.

His concern only grew when Nick winced visibly, closed his eyes, and started taking deep breaths.

Joe thought for a moment and then it hit him.

“Are you dizzy?” Nick hummed affirmatively. “Feel sick?” Another hum. “Does it feel like there is pressure in your ear or your head in general?” Nick stilled for a second, seemingly thinking about his answer before nodding.

“You have an ear infection.” Joe stated matter-of-factly. Unfortunately, he was all too familiar with the concept. He used to get ear infections all the time as a kid and even as an adult he still dealt with them every other year. The pain could be excruciating, at times having you unable to move. No wonder Nick was feeling so awful.

The latter only groaned, too exhausted to form words or even sentences.

“Alright, here is the deal.” In a way Joe was glad it was an ear infection – that was at least something he would be able to deal with. “I’ll get you some fever reducers and something to drink. You’ll take a bath and then you’ll go back to resting. If this isn’t better by tomorrow, I’ll take you to a doctor.”

“Why do I need to take a bath?” Nick whined, once again burying his face under his blanket.

Rolling his eyes at his boyfriend’s childish behavior, Joe pulled the blanket lower to expose Nick’s face. “Because you stink. And it might make you feel better.”

Nick wanted to argue but Joe had already left the room to grab some medicine so there really was no point. He returned seconds later with some pills.

The next step was the bath. Nick reached his arms out and Joe pulled him upwards with seemingly no effort. In hindsight, that was a horrible idea. A wave of dizziness hit Nick like a truck as soon as he was upright. If it hadn’t been for Joe, he would have crumpled to the floor right then and there.

Joe held his partner close, encouraging him to take some deep breaths when suddenly Nick’s entire body convulsed with a dangerously wet sounding retch. He was trying to decide whether to get a bucket or get his boyfriend to the bathroom, but Nick made that decision for him as he bolted towards the door, a hand clamped tightly over his mouth.

He was so dizzy he could barely see where he was going – it was like his body was moving on autopilot. It’s a miracle he didn’t run face first into a wall.

He crashed to the floor in front of the toilet, just seconds before last nights meager dinner made a reappearance, along with the medicine he’d just taken.

Joe went after him hesitantly, wanting to help but not knowing how. He ultimately settled on keeping Nick’s hair out of his face. It wasn’t much but it was appreciated.

The entire ordeal seemed to be a one-and-done thing. The blonde was left panting and spitting excess saliva into the toilet for a while, but his stomach seemed to have calmed down for the time being.

“Why the fuck do you puke, when your ear is infected?” Nick asked breathlessly while wiping some sweat from his brow.

“I’m not a doctor but I’m pretty sure it’s cause of the pain.” Joe answered, getting up to turn on the water for the bathtub.

At that moment Fork casually strolled into the bathroom and right onto Nick’s lap where he immediately settled down, purring lovingly. The blonde couldn’t help but smile a bit as he scratched his cat behind his ear.

The three of them sat there in silence for a while, Nick being too exhausted to talk and Joe not knowing what to say anyway.

Joe once again helped his boyfriend to his feet, when the bath was ready, although a lot slower this time. He even helped the sick man undress before he turned to leave the bathroom. “Wash up, I’m gonna change your bedsheets.”

“But I’m too tired to bathe by myself.” Nick whined as he struggled to step into the tub.

Joe turned around slowly, not quite believing what his boyfriend had just said. “Are you telling me that you need my help bathing?” He asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Please?” Nick pouted, which was a rather bizarre image, considering that he was muscular, over 6 feet tall and covered in tattoos.

The younger man sighed in defeat. “Fine. But I’m not getting in with you. I literally just showered two hours ago.”

“Deal.”

Turns out, it was a good decision not to leave Nick alone. He was sleepy and if it hadn’t been for Joe, he would’ve probably drowned in his own bathtub. Right now Joe was carefully massaging shampoo into his boyfriend’s scalp who was about to drift off to sleep. He had been fighting to keep his eyes open for the last ten minutes, but it was a losing battle. It was impossible to stay awake with the heavenly feeling of Joe’s fingers in his hair.

And the latter didn’t mind. Any other day he’d yell at Nick for sleeping in the bathtub but not today. He could use the rest and Joe was there to watch him, make sure he was alright. A few minutes wouldn’t hurt him. So Joe started rinsing out the shampoo as Nick fell asleep.

Fork, who had been forced to get up from his owners lap several minutes ago, now decided to settle into the brunette’s side. He still wasn’t a fan of pets but maybe he could get used to this one, Joe thought, unable to hide the fond smile that had snuck up on him.

[fandom-imagines-stories]

Simple Man

Dean Winchester x Reader

Words: 3351

Summary: It was never what he thought he would have. But now Dean doesn’t want to let go. 

Notes: I was going to wait and make this a Thanksgiving special, but I thought today would be more fitting. I can’t believe Supernatural ends tonight! This show has been a part of my life for a while now and it will forever stay in my heart.  I had a really really good time writing this one. It might be one of my favorites I’ve written for Dean, if not my top pick. I hope you guys enjoy it and look forward to seeing more. Carry on. 

Want more Supernatural? Find it HERE

(P.S. thank you to my beta reader @suckmysupernatural​. Love you!)

-

Oh, take your time, don’t live to fast

Troubles will come and they will pass 

He had slept through an alarm he didn’t remember setting. It wasn’t until he heard the creaking of the door that he stirred, reaching under his pillow for his knife. But it wasn’t there. Dean panicked as footsteps crept towards him. They were nothing more than a small pitter-patter on the wood floor, but he still prepared himself for the attack. The small creature leapt on top of him and he rolled over so he was pinning it beneath him. It giggled. It giggled?

“Daddy, Mom said she needs you in the kitchen.” 

Dean leaned over to the night stand and turned on the lamp. A little green eyed girl squirmed out from underneath him and skipped out of the room. 

“The hell…” Dean muttered. He opened the dresser and sure enough, his clothes sat in the drawers. He put on a T-shirt and slowly walked out of the room. The smell of bacon and coffee coaxed him to the kitchen. He couldn’t believe what he saw. 

You were standing over the stove, trying to save the bacon from burning. Dean was just frozen in the doorway. Finally spotting him, you made your way over to him, which was difficult with the little boy clinging to your leg. 

“Thank God you’re up. I need you to finish making breakfast.” You lifted the boy into your arms. “Eric’s got a fever and Ellie is going to wake up any second needing to be fed.” You gently laid a hand on Eric’s forehead. “I’ll call the doctor as soon as I get him to lay down. But you know how impossible that is.” 

“But I’m not tired.” Eric whined. 

“I know, sweetie, but you don’t want to get sicker, do you?” He pouted his lip and shook his head. “Alright, so I need you to go back to bed.” You looked back at Dean. “Can you just finish the bacon? I’ll be back to make their toast.” 

Before Dean could speak, you rushed up the stairs. As if on queue, a baby started to cry from somewhere upstairs. Dean just stood in shock. What the hell was going on?

As if by second nature, he walked around the kitchen, grabbing a paper towel to let the bacon drain off the grease. It felt almost natural. He somehow knew where everything was, even though he had never been here. Or had he? His brain was fuzzy with thoughts he couldn't remember. He saw images flash in his mind. Sam graduating from Stanford. His parents celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. You… in a wedding dress. 

“Johanna Charlotte Winchester you better be ready for school or your dad’s going to come and get you!” You yelled, coming back into the kitchen, this time a wailing baby in your arms. It wasn’t until now that Dean noticed you were wearing a sheriff’s uniform. You snatched up a piece of bacon and popped it in your mouth. “Thank you.”

You bounced the baby in your arms, trying to calm her down, but she wasn’t having it. The green eyed little girl from early came bounding into the room with her backpack over one shoulder. Ellie continued to bawl. 

“Can you hold her? She always stops crying when you hold her.” You handed the squirming child to him and he tried not to panic. You noticed your husband’s awkwardness. “Rough morning?” You snickered. “Here, I’ll make you some coffee.” 

As the child in his arms slowly stopped her crying, more memories flooded Dean’s head. You telling him you were pregnant for the first time. Going to the emergency room for the birth of his son. Watching Johanna hold her new baby sister. They all felt like dreams, but then how was this all real? 

“I’m feeling a little... off this morning.” He admitted, watching you carefully as if he were waiting for horns to sprout from your forehead. Your face fell. 

“Oh god, please don’t tell me you’re sick too.” You put your hand on his forehead. “You’re picking everyone up from the airport today.” 

“Everyone?” Dean’s brows furrowed curiously. 

“I would go get them, but I’m at the station until five.” You sighed, moving your hand down to caress his cheek. “Besides, you’ve been dying to see your brother since the Fourth of July.” 

“Uncle Sam!” Jo exclaimed excitedly. 

“Sammy’s coming?” Dean asked. Finally, something familiar. Your face contorted with confusion. 

“Of course he’s coming. Jessica and the kids are too. They always help prepare for tomorrow and since your parents will still be out on their cruise, we’ll need all the help we can get.” 

“Tomorrow...” He spotted the calendar on the wall, but you answered first. 

“Thanksgiving.” You stated. Your confusion changed to concern. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want me to stay home?” Jo raised her hand. 

“Can I stay home too?” 

“Sweetheart, it’s just one more half-day of school before break and then you’ll get to play with your cousins for the rest of the week.” Seeing you start to get stressed, Dean put a hand on your shoulder. 

“You go to work. I’m fine.” He assured you. “I’ll hold down the fort and I’ll pick up Sam at- what time again?”

“3:00.” You pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled. “I know you worked extra last week so you could have the garage closed for Thanksgiving, but I think the fumes might have gone to your head.” You grabbed the keys off the counter. “Oh, and I’ll be taking Baby to work since you’ll need the van to fit everyone.” His look of displeasure made you laugh. “I know, I know, but you’ll have to suck it up for today unless you think the four-year-old can babysit.” 

You kiss Ellie on the forehead before giving Dean a quick, but passionate kiss on the lips. You held out your hand for your daughter to take. 

“Alright, partner, let’s go.” 

The two of you leave and Dean looks down at the baby in his arms. Was this really happening? 

-

Boy don’t you worry, you’ll find yourself

Follow your heart and nothing else

If he was trapped by a djinn, he would have remembered fighting it. This was something else. The more time he spent in the house, the more this world felt real and his hunting life felt like dreams. Maybe… maybe this was real. 

He remembered everything now. He had met you in a bar on New Years Eve. You hit it off talking about cars and classic rock. He proposed about two years later outside that same bar during the first snow of the season. You always said the first snow was the best one. You got married and a couple months later found out you were pregnant with Jo. Johanna Charlotte Winchester was born on April 3, 2007. She was seven. Three years later, Eric Samuel was born on November 29th. He was four. Lastly, Ellen Sandra was born six months ago tomorrow on May 27, 2014. 

Sammy had a family of his own. He married Jessica right out of law school and the two had two boys; Josh, 8, and Michael, 6. Their families stayed close, even though Sam was in California and Dean in Kansas. They were happy. 

If this wasn’t real, how could he remember all that? 

3:00 rolled around and Eric’s fever had gone down. He called you to make sure it would be okay to take him along to the airport. You told him that as long as he was feeling okay, it should be fine. The doctor said it sounded like the heat in his room was too high. Dean buckled Eric into his carseat and Ellie in her carrier. While Johanna almost looked like a mini-girl version of him, Eric looked like you. His eyes were yours, along with his hair color and his nose. Ellie looked like a fair mix of both. 

Jessica was the first one to greet him since Sam was busy carrying the boys’ bags. He hugged her tight and couldn’t stop beaming. 

“It’s so good to see you guys.” He smiled and she gave him a sunny grin in return. 

“I know Sam’s been eager to see you and the family for a long time. Of course, I’m only here for the food.” She teased and he pulled her into another hug. 

“I can’t believe this.” Dean sighed happily. Sam and Jessica. Him and you. One big happy family. 

“Do I get a hug, or are just going to hog my wife?” Sam snarked, setting down the bags as Dean nearly tackled him. Sam laughed, struggling to breathe in his brother’s crushing hug. “I missed you too, Dean.” 

“Uncle Sam!” Eric cheered, clinging to Sam’s leg. 

“Hey buddy.” Sam smiled, lifting his nephew into his arms. Jessica peaked into the baby carrier Dean had set on the bench. 

“Look at how big she’s gotten.” She awed. Ellie was asleep, so she spoke quietly. Jess frowned, finally noticing the two brown haired boys fighting over one of their comics. “Josh, stop pushing your brother.” She scolded. 

“He took my comic!” The older of the two retorted. Jessica just gave him a stern look and he surrendered. 

“Michael, give it back when you’re done reading.” Sam ruffled his youngest son’s hair. Dean knelt down. 

“So are you two tough guys too cool to give your uncle a hug, or what?” He pulled his nephews into a warm embrace. “Are you both taller? You’re taller than the last time I saw you.” Dean pat Josh on the back. “You’re gonna be taller than your dad before you know it.” 

“You know, you’d see them more if you flew out to California.” Jessica noted. Dean’s eyes widened. She laughed. “I know, I know, you have a thing about flying.” 

“I want to go to California!” Eric exclaimed.

“One of these days, we can go on a roadtrip in Baby to Uncle Sam and Aunt Jessica’s, how does that sound?” Dean promised. Eric nodded, excitedly wriggling in Sam’s arms. 

Everyone loaded up into the van, Sam sliding into the passenger seat. Dean had to laugh. This was just so crazy. Here they were, driving in a van packed full of children. Their children. He thought of all of the times Sam sat beside him in the impala, the two weary from a hunt. It felt like a different lifetime. Like a different world. It felt less real. 

-

You’ll find a woman and you’ll find love

And don’t forget son, there is someone up above

Four children ran around the backyard, jumping in leaf piles and chasing each other with sticks. Jo seemed to rule the yard, keeping her older cousin at bay with her stubborn persistence. Dean smiled proudly. 

“She’s quite the pistol.” Jessica noted with a laugh, jutting her head towards Johanna. She was sitting beside you, bouncing her baby niece in her arms. 

“I wonder where she gets that from.” You gave your husband a smirk. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer, pressing a kiss to your temple. 

“I love you so much.” He whispered. The tone in his voice made you glance up at him. He was watching you with intensity in his eyes. So much love and yet… there was pain there. 

“I love you too.” You laced your fingers with his, your concern evident in your voice. “Dean, are you okay? You’ve been acting a little weird all day.” You spoke quietly so you wouldn’t worry your brother-in-law. Your husband gave your hand a gentle squeeze. 

“I’m fine, really. I’m just…”  Dean felt an overwhelming wave of emotion and choked back tears. “Really happy.” He lifted your chin up, bringing your lips to his. Everything was perfect, right down to the way your lips fit perfectly against his. He knew, without a doubt, that this was real. 

Soon it was time to put the kids to bed. Sam’s boys slept on the pull-out couch in the basement. Eric was exhausted from a day of excitement, as well as his baby sister. Dean was charged with the task of putting a rambunctious Johanna to bed. 

“I want to stay up and drink beer like a big kid.” She pouted, making the adults in the room chuckle. Dean crouched down and picked her up. 

“Alright, here’s the deal. I promise that when you’re a big kid like me and your mom, then you can stay up and have a drink with us. But until then, you’re gonna be my little deputy right?” He tapped the golden plastic badge that she never took off. Jo grinned from ear to ear and nodded. Humming a Bob Segar tune, he took her upstairs to her room and tucked her into bed. 

When he came back down stairs, his brother and the two women were smirking at him. 

“What?” You and Jessica exchanged a look and burst out laughing. “Come on, what?”

“That girl has you wrapped around her finger, Dean.” Jessica snickered. You took a sip of your beer. 

“Oh, he’s like that with Ellie, too. He dotes on them like you wouldn’t believe. One little pout from Johanna and he melts.” You couldn’t help but beam at your husband. You loved the way he was with the kids. 

“I got her in bed, didn’t I?” Dean huffed, taking his seat beside you and resting a hand on your knee. Sam shook his head. 

“It’s all in the looks, brother. You may think you’ve one this round, but I saw the look in Jo’s eyes.” Sam gave his brother a sure nod. “She knows where she stands.” 

“At least I’ve got Eric,” You sighed teasingly. “He’s a mama's boy, through and through.” 

You curled up beside Dean, comfortable in his warmth. He kissed the top of your head.

The hours passed with plenty of laughter and love. Soon, it was getting close to 11:00 and you wanted to get plenty of rest for the busy day tomorrow. Everyone would be helping prepare the massive Thanksgiving meal that the Winchesters made every year. Sam and Jessica said goodnight and headed to the guest room while you and Dean made your way upstairs. 

You reached your rooms and Dean’s hands found your waist, his lips trailing up your shoulder to your neck. You leaned back into his embrace, bringing your hand up to tangle your fingers in his golden-brown hair. His hands started to wander and you sighed mournfully. 

“Baby, we both have to be up in the morning.” You groaned, breaking away from him. When you turned around, he was pouting, his green eyes big and sad. So that’s where Johanna got it. He was just so impossible to resist, but if you didn’t go to bed now, you’d be exhausted before dinner even started. You draped your arms around his neck. “I’ll tell you what; how about we get a good night’s sleep tonight…” you pulled him close and whispered into his ear, “and I’ll give you something to be really thankful for tomorrow.” 

Dean’s eyes widened and his smirk spread into a smile. 

“Mrs. Winchester, we have a deal.” He loved the way that sounded coming from his lips. Mrs. Winchester. 

You gave him a long and passionate goodnight kiss before changing into your pajamas and climbing into bed. 

It must have been around 12:30 when the baby started crying. The baby monitor was on your nightstand, so you were awakened by the sound first. Dean moved to get up, but you stopped him. 

“I’ll get her.” You sleepily shuffled out of the bedroom. Reaching the hall, you muttered something that your half-asleep husband only half comprehended. Something about the electricity acting up again. 

The crying continued and you didn’t return. Dean yawned, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes and got out of bed. He slowly made his way down the hallway to the nursery. The door was ajar and the lamp had been turned on. You must have gone downstairs to get her a bottle. 

Dean picked up his crying daughter, rocking her soothingly in his arms. She wailed and wailed until she heard his voice. 

“Alright, sweetheart. It’s alright. Daddy’s got you.” He hushed. After a moment of rocking and soft whispers, Ellie started to settle down. As soon as her cries reduced to the occasional sniff, Dean set her back in her cradle. “That’s it. You’re going to be just fine. I’m not gonna let anything hurt you.” 

Smiling down at his beautiful baby girl, Dean felt something on the back of his neck. When he touched it, his hand came away red. He froze, and as if his body went into auto pilot, he turned around. At first he couldn’t scream. He just stared. 

Your mouth gaped at him, your eyes filled with terror and pain as the blood spread out from your stomach. Ellie started to cry again. 

“No!” Dean screamed. That’s when the fire started. 

And that’s when he woke up.

-

And be a simple kind of man

Oh, be something you love and understand

Dean sat straight up, sweat soaking through his t-shirt, his scream still on his lips. The cool air of the bunker made him shiver. He couldn’t breathe. He heaved and coughed as if the smoke really filled his lungs. A sudden hand on his shoulder made him jump out of the bed and flatten himself against the wall, holding out his fists to fight. 

“Dean?” You rose slowly, walking towards him cautiously. “It’s okay. It was just a dream. You’re okay.” 

He just stared at you, taking in every feature. You watched his eyes fill with tears and his chin tremble as he tried to speak. Nothing came out, just a strangled sounding cry. Dean fell to his knees and you rushed to hold him. Whatever it was, it wasn’t just a nightmare. 

Dean wrapped his arms around your middle and leaned his head against your stomach as you soothingly ran your fingers through his hair. He didn’t make any sound as he cried, but the tears fell endlessly down his face. He was shaking in your arms. 

“Dean, honey, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” You whispered. This wasn’t the first time that he’d woken suddenly from a dream, but it had never been like this. 

You told him that you were pregnant today. He seemed happy. Shocked, but happy. But now? Whatever was going through his head was breaking him. You sunk down in front of him so you could hold him fully, letting him cry into your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” He finally choked out. “I’m sorry that this is all I can give you. I’m sorry that we don’t have a big house full of kids. That Sam has lost any chance at happiness. That we can never have a normal life.” You pushed back. 

“Baby, what are you talking about?” 

“I’m sorry that this baby is going to grow up haunted and broken… just like me.” His voice cracked. You put a hand on his cheek. 

“Dean…” You pressed your forehead against his, feeling your own tears start to fall. “This baby is going to be loved and wanted and cherished, just like you.” You kissed him gently, reminding him of your adoration of this hero of a man. 

Dean held you closer, letting your words sink into his heart. He wanted to believe it. He wanted more than anything to believe it. Even in his beautiful dream, you ended up burned and bloody. Even in his dream, he was broken. 

But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t try. He would try like hell to give you a life as close to perfect as he could manage. Maybe that meant hunting together until you went down guns blazing. Maybe that meant settling down, someday, somewhere. He would try. 

Baby be a simple kind of man

Oh, won’t you do this for me, son, if you can

-

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