#Jona Led

[azurecanary]

To get my one complaint out of the way:

The Young Avengers were not formed because "Hey there are multiple superheroes under the age of thirty"

They were formed because the Avengers were literally destroyed, and New York needed heroes

It was not this after school club

It was "there's so much villainy going on in this city, and Kang the fucking Conqueror is coming in three days. we are the only people with some link to the Avengers therefore we must stop this"

Eli became Patriot to honour his grandfather and fight crime

Teddy became Hulkling to protect people and figure out his identity

Billy became Asgardian/Wiccan to stand up for the little guy and to honour the Scarlet Witch

Kate became Hawkeye to beat up bad people and save the people with powers

Cassie became Stature to honour her father and carry on his legacy

Nathaniel became Iron Lad as an attempt to stop his evil future from coming to pass

Vision became a Young Avengers to honour Nathaniel and the original Vision

Tommy became Speed to right his wrongs

It was never "you're under thirty, I'm under thirty, wanna team up?"

[totalswag]

outer banks premiere and surprises — DREW STARKEY

authors note the new season is so good!!! watching part two trailer makes me even more excited. what do you guys think of it?

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summary surprising drew at the outer banks premiere for season four. he thinks you are on tour but you made time to support him.

warnings cursing, mentions of flashing lights, kissing, and celebrating season four of outer banks.

You carefully walked out the car with your hand holding one side of your dress so you don’t fall. You thanked the driver with a kind smile before walking towards the red carpet with your manager. The sound of fans could be heard the closer you got.

The season four premiere of Outer Banks is tonight, and you plan to surprise your boyfriend, Drew Starkey, on the carpet. Except for Jonas and Drew's father, no one is aware of your impending arrival.

You recently started touring for your newest album― it's been an absolute blast. This night is very important to Drew and you are glad your next show is two hours away so it was perfect to surprise him and see his reaction.

You were glad to fit this surprise last minute.

When you get closer to the crowd of people butterflies form in the pit of your stomach— more so excitement and enthusiasm. Security led you through the entrance where everyone stood for pictures and fans waiting to interact with the cast.

Drew was in the middle of taking pictures in front of cameras and fans behind them— he looked so good in his suit. Few fans turned their heads when they heard security taking on the radio and their faces lit up seeing you.

Oh my gosh is that Y/N?

She’s here to surprise him watch

My parents are finally together in front of me

Drew turned his head in your direction where all the commotion was— he was in disbelief seeing you walking over to him looking stunning from head to toe. Smile forming in the corner of his lips, opening his arms for you.

"Hi baby!" You squeal softly, looking at him with affection and joy. You stand on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek— he smells wonderful with the new cologne you bought him.

"I'm so glad you are here," he says with a grin, clutching you closely to his chest.

As you two walk away, you turn around to face Drew's father, hugging him and asking how things are doing. You approached his father first about the surprise, and he was all for it.

Paparazzi wanted to capture a few shots of Drew and you together. You two couldn't take your gaze away from one other the entire time. The butterflies in your stomach had not faded the moment you arrived.

Drew and you approached fans and took pictures, signed autographs, made films, and so forth. You stayed by Drew's side the entire time rather than being the focus of attention— this is about him and his cast members. Tonight is all about him and the cast.

"I love your new album Y/N, and I'm going to your next show in two days," one fan exclaimed, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes as she looked around sixteen. "Aw, thank you so much, gorgeous—I can't wait for you to be out there," you say softly, leaning in for a big hug.

"Y/N I can't believe you are here!" Madelyn gasps in surprise, pausing in her tracks and placing her palm on her chest— jaw dropped.

You look over your shoulder, squealing with delight. "Surprise, Missy," you say aloud, raising your arms.

The rest of the cast followed, engulfing you in a frenzy of hugs and enthusiastic conversations. Drew couldn't stop smiling, and his arm never left your waist while you socialized with friends. Conversations went smoothly, with laughter resonating in the air.

"When I saw you with Drew, I was like no way that's Y/N" Chase explained as he re-created his initial reaction seeing you.

You laughed as he told you, "The only people who knew were our managers and Drew's dad." You pointed to your's and Drew's managers, then Drew's father talking to Madison. 

It was great to see everyone again and catch up on things that hadn't been mentioned. It felt like it had been years since you last saw one other. 

"You look so good tonight, baby," you nudge Drew with a quiet whisper, "too good, I might add." You smirk nonchalantly, which immediately draws his attention—dragging his hand down your back, drawing you closer to him.

"May I just say the same thing about you because I think I need an inhaler?" he asks with a flirty grin.

Inside the auditorium, they watched the first half of the show, your hand interlaced with Drew's. You could feel his joy and pleasure in the work they had all done for the new season. And he could feel your steadfast support, your presence anchored him.

Drew's performance throughout the show was incredible—he was always giving it his all and keeping in character without breaking. Rafe's character development is much more obvious this season than it was in the first. Throughout the show, you would lean into his ear— sending chills down his spine. You whispered encouraging things to him.

Shortly after the first part of the show, an announcement was made about an after-party to which everyone was invited. Obviously, everyone was looking forward to attending and celebrating.

Everyone had access to food, desserts, and drinks at the after party. Music was played while everyone sang along to the songs. This was one night to remember. Drew and the cast were ecstatic to celebrate yet another outstanding season.

You found a calm spot with Drew. He wrapped his arms around you, bringing you closer. "Thank you for being here," he whispered quietly, his eyes brimming with love. "It means everything to me."

You grinned and leaned in to kiss him gently. "There's nowhere else I'd rather be," you said quietly.

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[eu-nicola]

non think

summary: your friendship with Rudy began naturally and fluidly, but when his girlfriend's jealousy begins to interfere, tensions arise

warnings: nothing (?)

word counter: 5049

author's note: english is not my first language, this is fiction, don't take it seriously

From the moment you stepped onto the Outer Banks set, you felt that unmistakable energy of a team completely in sync. But even though everything seemed to click, it was Rudy Pankow who you instantly connected with. It wasn’t something you could plan—it just happened naturally.

Your role wasn’t easy. Playing Isabella Cameron, the middle Cameron sibling, meant bringing depth, charisma, and a hint of rebellion that contrasted with Sarah and Rafe but still shared a certain sensitivity with Wheezie. Even though Isabella wasn’t a Pogue like JJ, her connection with him promised to be one of the season’s most interesting twists.

On your first day on set, the nerves were real. This wasn’t your first acting gig, but something about joining a cast with such strong chemistry was intimidating. Rudy was one of the first to approach you.

“New Cameron?” he asked, with that grin of his that always seemed ready to crack a joke.

“The one and only,” you replied, trying to hide your nerves.

He burst out laughing.

“I like it. I’m Rudy, but I guess from now on we’re calling each other JJ and Isabella.”

The conversation flowed like you’d known each other forever. From that moment, it became almost a tradition for the two of you to find each other between takes to talk about scripts, crack jokes, or improvise ridiculous lines just to make the rest of the cast laugh.

One afternoon, during a scene where Isabella and JJ were supposed to argue about something involving Sarah, the directors decided to let you two improvise a bit to explore your characters' dynamic. It was a mess… in the best way possible. Your quick comebacks and Rudy’s ability to keep up with sarcastic remarks had everyone on set laughing. After calling cut, Jonas Pate, one of the show’s creators, came over.

“You two have something special. I think we’re gonna lean into that.”

It wasn’t until weeks later that you understood what he meant. In one of the season two episodes, Isabella and JJ would share an unexpected kiss—a moment that would completely shift their dynamic.

“A kiss?” you asked, stunned after reading the script.

Rudy shot you a playful look.

“What? Not excited? I’m a great kisser.”

“Uh-huh, sure.” Your sarcastic tone made him laugh, like always.

Filming that scene was… interesting. Even though you got along great off-camera, you couldn’t help feeling a little nervous. But Rudy, ever the charmer, made sure to ease your nerves before the take.

“It’s like we’re mocking the cliché, but with style,” he said, adjusting JJ’s jacket.

The scene turned out so well that the director asked to shoot it from multiple angles. After every take, Rudy would wink at you, making you smile despite yourself. The funny thing was, even though JJ and Isabella’s kiss wasn’t originally meant to happen again in the series, the on-screen chemistry between you two led to more moments like that.

Still, the main storyline for Isabella revolved around Barry, the character who was supposed to be her big love interest. Barry was different, but his relationship with Isabella brought an emotional depth that fans quickly adored.

Even so, every time you and Rudy shared a scene, the vibe on set shifted. There was something contagious about the way you interacted, both on and off camera. It wasn’t uncommon for the other cast members to watch you two during breaks and joke about your 'explosive chemistry.'

“You two would be absolute chaos if they let you,” Chase said one day, watching you rehearse a particularly intense scene.

And he wasn’t wrong. Despite Isabella clearly being paired with Barry, you couldn’t deny that working with Rudy was one of the most fun and genuine parts of the production. That connection eventually led fans to start shipping Isabella and JJ, even though the show’s narrative had other plans.

The on-screen kisses quickly became a recurring topic among the cast and crew.

Everything was going perfectly fine between you and Rudy until the fans started noticing what you and the rest of the cast already knew: your on-screen chemistry was undeniable. Comments on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter exploded as soon as the first kiss scene between Isabella and JJ aired.

'Does anyone else think JJ and Isabella should be endgame?'

'Barry has nothing on JJ-Bella tension. Sorry, not sorry.'

'The way JJ looks at Isabella when she walks away… CHEF’S KISS. I need more of them.'

'I don’t care what anyone says, Rudy and Isabella HAVE to be together, ON and OFF screen.'

At first, the comments didn’t bother you. After all, most of them were about the characters, not you as actors. Even the more insistent ones were easy to brush off. But things changed when fan theories started crossing the line.

'Have you guys noticed how Rudy is always around her in BTS? 👀'

'I refuse to believe there’s nothing going on between them off-screen. Look at their interviews.'

'Sorry, but Rudy’s girlfriend doesn’t hold a candle to her. Stay with Y/N.'

That last comment felt like a trigger. Suddenly, the presence of Rudy’s girlfriend, whose relationship with him had been private and mostly unknown to fans, became glaringly obvious. She hadn’t been around during the first few months of filming, but now she showed up on set often, always quiet but clearly watching everything.

At first, you tried to be friendly. She wasn’t part of the cast, but you understood her wanting to be near Rudy. However, the tension started becoming noticeable when she stopped hiding her discomfort around you.

“So, this is the famous Isabella Cameron?,” she said one afternoon during a break. Her tone was sharp, even though her smile tried to mask it.

“Yeah, I guess that’s me.”You smiled, trying not to let it affect you.

“Well, I hope you don’t take everything the fans say too seriously. Rudy and I have something real, not like those fake kisses you share with him.”

You were caught off guard. It wasn’t like you cared about what she thought, but her comment made it clear she didn’t really know where the line between fiction and reality was. From that moment on, her little digs became more frequent.

One day, while scrolling through your social media, you saw a comment she left under one of your photos promoting the show. It didn’t say much, but the sarcasm was obvious:

"Wow, working with Rudy must be the highlight of your career. You must love it."

Fans, as expected, picked up on it right away. ‘Why’s Rudy’s girlfriend so passive-aggressive towards her?’ was one of the top comments on your profile. You laughed it off, but the whole thing left a bitter taste in your mouth.

The tension hit its peak during one of the more intense scenes between Isabella and JJ, where the two characters had to share an intimate moment in the middle of an argument. You and Rudy had rehearsed the scene, and everything seemed fine until you noticed his sudden change in attitude.

“Everything okay?” you asked him before shooting.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” His answer was short, distant, and not like him at all.

You couldn’t help but think his girlfriend had something to do with it. She was sitting in a corner of the set, arms crossed, watching you both. She wasn’t doing anything obvious, but her presence was enough to throw him off and, by extension, ruin the dynamic you two usually had.

After the scene ended, you confronted him.

“What’s going on with you? We never had problems before, but now it’s like you don’t even want to be around me.”

“It’s not that.” He avoided your gaze, confirming what you already suspected.

“Then what is it? Your girlfriend? Because if it’s about her, I need you to tell me now if we’re going to keep working like we used to or not.”

Rudy sighed, running a hand through his hair. You knew he didn’t want to have this conversation, but it was necessary.

“She just… doesn’t get it. And I don’t want things to get messier than they already are.”

“And what about our work?” you asked, more frustrated than you intended to sound.

He didn’t answer, but his silence was enough to tell you that, fair or not, things wouldn’t go back to the way they were.

After that, Rudy started pulling away not just from you, but from the rest of the cast too. The jokes between takes became less frequent, and the fun improvisations you both used to enjoy practically disappeared. No one said anything, but it was obvious something was wrong.

Social media wasn’t helping. Every time you posted something about the show, fans kept fueling the drama with their theories and comments.

‘Rudy’s girlfriend is definitely behind this. They’re not even in interviews together anymore.’

‘It’s so sad that JJ and Isabella have such good chemistry, but off-camera, it’s a mess.’

You tried to ignore it, but some nights you couldn’t help feeling frustrated. Not because of the comments, but because you missed how things used to be. Rudy was one of the best co-stars you’d ever had, and now it felt like you couldn’t even be friends.

And the worst part? He wasn’t doing anything to fix it.

When the fourth season rolled around, the news hit like a bomb. During a cast table read, the producers announced that JJ Maybank’s arc would come to a tragic end with a heroic death. While everyone murmured in shock, you could only look at him. Rudy sat in silence, arms crossed, eyes glued to the script, avoiding eye contact with everyone—especially you.

“What does this mean?” you asked Jonas directly.

“It was Rudy’s decision,” he replied, with a tone that made it clear he didn’t want to elaborate.

You couldn’t believe it. You’d heard rumors that Rudy wasn’t as excited about continuing on the show, but you always thought they were just that rumors. But now it was clear he’d made the most drastic choice possible.

That night, you couldn’t stay quiet. You found him outside the set, sitting on one of the service stairs, like he was waiting for someone to confront him.

“What the hell are you doing?” you blurted out. He looked up, surprised by your tone, but said nothing. He just shrugged.

“I’ve got nothing left to do here. I’m done.”

That lit a fire in you.

“Done? Are you serious? Rudy, your character is one of the fans’ favorites. JJ still has so much potential, and you’re just letting him die because… what? Because your girlfriend can’t handle us doing our jobs?”

He frowned, clearly annoyed.

“This has nothing to do with her. It’s my decision, and it’s final.”

“Of course, it has to do with her. Ever since she started coming to set, you’ve changed. You’re not the same anymore. You can’t even joke around with me like you used to. Now you’d rather run away than face things.”

Rudy stood up, defensive.

“And what do you expect me to do? Ignore everything? Pretend like I’m not losing my relationship?.”

“You’re not losing your relationship, Rudy. You’re sabotaging your career. And along the way, you’re throwing away everything we had, our friendship, all of it. Why can’t you see that?.”

“Because it’s not as simple for me as it is for you,” he said, raising his voice. There was frustration and pain in his tone.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“It means not everyone can separate things like you. Do you know how hard it’s been for me? Everyone assumes there’s something between us, like there’s more… And she sees it, the fans see it. No matter how much I deny it, someone’s always pointing it out.”

The intensity of his words caught you off guard, but you weren’t about to back down.

“So what? You’re just going to throw it all away? Let her control every decision you make? That’s not professional. It’s childish.”

He shook his head like your words couldn’t break through the wall he’d built.

“Do what you want, but don’t expect me to stay quiet while you ruin something that meant so much to all of us,” you said before turning and walking away.

From that moment on, things went downhill fast. What used to be a natural and fun connection turned into pure tension. Arguments became frequent, both on and off set. Something as simple as a rehearsal could turn into a battleground, and it wasn’t long before it started affecting the whole team.

In scenes where Isabella and JJ had to interact, the tension was so obvious that even the directors began to notice something was off. After weeks of trying, they decided to use doubles for the shots where the two of you shared the screen.

The rumor spread quickly among the crew. People whispered behind your backs, some blaming Rudy, others blaming you, but most were just confused. It wasn’t easy to explain how one of the cast’s most beloved dynamics had turned into something so unsustainable.

By the time the last scene rolled around, the atmosphere on set was heavy. That day, JJ’s final scene was being filmed—a moment that would mark the end of an era for the show and the cast. While everyone tried to keep the energy upbeat and positive, all you could feel was an overwhelming emptiness.

It wasn’t just about JJ leaving; it was because Rudy was leaving too. Even though your relationship had deteriorated to the point of being unrecognizable, you couldn’t help but remember how things had started: the laughs, the improvisations, the jokes that even got the directors to join in. Now, none of that was left.

The scene you were filming was heartbreaking, probably the most emotional one of the entire season. JJ sacrificed himself to save Isabella and the other Pogues, dying heroically. You, as Isabella, had to hold him in your arms while he said his final words.

When the director called action, you threw yourself into character completely. Isabella was desperate, her hands covered in blood as she tried to hold back tears.

“No, JJ, don’t do this to me,” you said, your voice breaking. The script called for you to cling to him, as if you could stop the inevitable.

Rudy, as JJ, looked at you with a weak smile the same one that had always defined his character, even in the darkest moments.

“Don’t cry, Bella. You always knew I’d do something stupid like this.” He coughed, mimicking the character’s weakness, but there was something else in his voice something that felt way too real.

“Don’t say that!” you screamed as Isabella, feeling a knot in your stomach that went beyond acting. Tears streamed down your face, and for a moment, you wondered if they were yours or your character’s.

“Take care of them... all of them.” He tried to laugh, but his voice faltered. JJ’s eyes closed, and the camera captured your devastated face as you hugged him one last time.

“Cut!” the director yelled.

The set erupted in applause. The crew, the cast—everyone knew they had just filmed something unforgettable. But you couldn’t move. You kept holding onto Rudy, trying to steady your breathing, because even though the scene was over, the emotions were still there.

“You were incredible,” someone said, but you didn’t register who. You barely heard Rudy mumble a “thank you” to everyone as he stood up and walked off set.

As soon as you snapped out of character, the real tears came. You weren’t one to cry in front of everyone, so you slipped away from the set and found a quiet corner where you could be alone. Sitting on one of the folding chairs, away from the lights and noise, you let the emotions take over.

“Are you okay?” Madison asked, approaching cautiously.

You looked up at her and tried to smile, but you couldn’t.

“Yeah, just... haven’t gotten much rest.”

Madison nodded and stayed quiet beside you. You knew she didn’t want to push you but was still worried. After a while, she gave your shoulder a squeeze and went back to the set, leaving you with your thoughts.

Later, when everyone was gathering to say goodbye to Rudy, you couldn’t bring yourself to go near him. You watched from a distance as he was surrounded by hugs, encouragement, and smiles. He seemed happy—or at least relieved. But to you, it all felt like a façade.

You knew you’d eventually have to face him, but you were too angry to do it now. Every time someone asked if you were going to say goodbye, you just answered, “Maybe later.”

The anger you felt toward Rudy had become constant. No matter how much you tried to justify it or make sense of it, it always led back to the same thing: he acted like none of this mattered. Like losing his friends, his job, and everything you’d built together meant nothing.

But what bothered you most wasn’t just his apparent indifference it was how, deep down, you found yourself wanting him. You hated yourself for it. You tortured yourself with thoughts that if things had been different if his girlfriend wasn’t in the picture, if he could see things the way you did—you wouldn’t be here now. But you knew he wasn’t that kind of person, which is why you’d always tried to give him the best advice, even if it hurt.

The night before Rudy officially left the set, he came to find you. You had just finished packing up your things and were walking to the parking lot when you saw him waiting by your car.

“Can we talk?” he asked, his expression unfamiliar. He looked exhausted, almost desperate.

“What for?” you shot back, crossing your arms. Sarcasm had become your go-to defense. “To have one last argument? That seems to be all we do lately.”

He sighed, running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t want to argue. I just... I need to explain myself.”

You were caught off guard by that. You hesitated for a moment before tilting your head toward the passenger seat.

“Talk.”

He leaned against your car, staring at the ground before finally speaking.

“I know you think I don’t care about any of this. That I’m just walking away because none of it matters to me. But that’s not true.”

You rolled your eyes, unable to hide your disbelief.

“Oh, really? Because it sure seems like you don’t care. You’ve distanced yourself from everyone, didn’t even try to fix things, and now you’re just leaving. What do you expect us to think?”

“It’s not that I don’t care. It’s just... I don’t know how to handle it,” he admitted, with a sincerity you hadn’t seen in him for a long time.

You stared at him, trying to figure out if he really meant it or if it was just another excuse.

“Rudy, we’ve all tried to help you. Madison, Chase, even the directors. We all wanted to help, but you wouldn’t listen to anyone. And you can’t blame us for being upset when it seems like all you care about is keeping someone happy who doesn’t even understand what you do.”

“It’s not as easy as you make it sound,” he shot back, his voice rising slightly. “She didn’t ask for this. She didn’t ask to compete with fans, theories, or with you.”

“With me?” you asked, stepping closer to him, feeling anger boil inside you again. “Are you seriously saying this is my fault?”

“No, that’s not what I meant,” he said quickly, but it was too late.

“Listen, I never tried to make you choose between your career and your relationship. In fact, I always told you that you could have both if you just took a second to put things into perspective. But you didn’t. You chose to pull away, not just from me, but from everyone. And now, you’re leaving. So tell me, what else do you want me to do?”

For a moment, he didn’t seem to have an answer. He just looked at you, his lips slightly parted, like he was searching for the right words.

“I want you to understand that this wasn’t an easy decision,” he finally said. “And I want you to know that I never wanted us to end up like this.”

You laughed, though there was nothing funny about the situation.

“Is that it? You want my forgiveness? Or are you expecting me to sit here feeling sorry for myself because you decided to throw everything away?”

He took a step toward you, but you stepped back.

“No. I’ve had enough. Do what you have to do. Go live your life, but don’t expect me to sit here waiting for you to realize you made a mistake. Because you did. Not just with me, but with everyone who cared about you here.”

His eyes darkened, but he didn’t argue. He just nodded slowly, like he was accepting your words.

“Goodbye,” he said, with a sadness he hadn’t shown before.

“Goodbye, Rudy,” you replied.”

After that night, Rudy disappeared from your life. No immediate messages, no attempts to reconnect—at least not in the first few weeks. You didn’t reach out either. You’d made everything clear that last time, and you didn’t want to go back to a cycle of arguments that never seemed to end.

But as the weeks went by and the Outer Banks team started gearing up for the promotion of the new season, something inevitable happened: contact between you two. The first time you saw a message from him, you were going through emails, looking for info about the upcoming red carpet event.

It was simple, almost casual.

Rudy: “Hey. Hope you’re doing okay. How’s everything going?”

You read it a couple of times, trying to decide if it was worth replying. You knew he’d probably written and rewritten that message several times before sending it, but you still weren’t ready to fully open that door again. Finally, you typed:

You: “All good. You?”

It took him days to reply. When he did, it was just as brief.

Rudy: “Good too. Thanks for asking.”

It didn’t seem like much, but for someone like Rudy, who always avoided uncomfortable conversations, it was something. The messages continued—spaced out, always short. He’d ask how work was going; you’d reply politely, sometimes returning the question, other times leaving the thread hanging. It didn’t feel like a conversation between friends, more like an attempt to hold onto something that wasn’t really there anymore.

When the first promotional event for the new season rolled around, you knew it was only a matter of time before you saw him. The whole cast was there—except Rudy—but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t show up. Even though he wasn’t actively part of the show anymore, his character was still important, and the producers wanted him there to honor that legacy.

The anxiety hit days before the event. Even though you’d managed to respond to some of his messages neutrally, the thought of seeing him in person made your heart race. You didn’t know how you’d react. Would you ignore him? Act like nothing happened? Talk?

The day came quicker than you’d hoped. You got ready in your hotel room, surrounded by stylists and makeup artists doing their thing while you stared at your reflection in the mirror, lost in thought. You wore a stunning dress, something that screamed strength and confidence, but inside, you felt more vulnerable than ever.

When you arrived at the event, the usual chaos of red carpets consumed you—flashes, photographers yelling, rapid-fire interviews. Everything seemed to be going as expected until you saw him. Rudy was on the other side of the carpet, talking to a group of reporters. He wore a simple but sharp suit, and while his smile was polite, there was something in his eyes you couldn’t quite figure out.

Madison, standing next to you, nudged you lightly.

“There he is,” she murmured, not needing to clarify who she meant.

“I know,” you said, trying to keep your composure.

You knew you’d eventually have to cross paths with him, but you avoided it as much as you could. There were interviews to do, group photos to take, fans to greet, and you stayed as far away from him as possible the whole time.

The red carpet premiere was everything you’d expected—flashes, shouting fans, excitement everywhere. But for you, it all felt distant. Rudy and you barely glanced at each other the entire time. It was like you were both in your own worlds, aware of the crowd but completely detached from everything else.

There was an awkward tension in the air, one you couldn’t ignore. The pain from the past months was still there, but it wasn’t something you were willing to show in public. The press team and photographers fired off quick questions, and while the flashes lit up everyone’s faces, you responded just enough, smiling when necessary. Still, Rudy’s presence, even from a distance, made you feel shaky.

Every now and then, your eyes met his—brief, almost fleeting—but always heavy with something you couldn’t name. He didn’t approach you, didn’t try to break the ice. He kept his distance, and everything between you stayed frozen, like time had stopped. The laughter and chatter around you felt mechanical, as if all your emotions were locked away in a room neither of you wanted to enter.

It wasn’t until you moved inside the venue for the screening that things shifted. The photographers were still snapping group photos, this time with the entire cast. A bunch of people surrounded you, and among them, somehow, was Rudy. You didn’t even notice when he got closer, but when one of the photographers gestured for everyone to squeeze in, Rudy slid in beside you. Without a word, he put his hand on your waist, stepping closer to position himself next to you. The move caught you off guard.

The photographer, clearly waiting for that moment, shouted instructions.

“Closer, please!” he called as flashes started going off again.

Instinctively, you leaned into Rudy, the heat of his body almost too much, a reminder of everything you’d once shared. The closeness made you uneasy, but it also surprised you how natural it felt for him. Like nothing had changed. Like everything was fine.

The flashes kept coming. Then, in the middle of it all, Rudy leaned in slightly, his voice barely audible over the chaos of the cameras.

“Just for tonight,” he murmured, with a faint but genuine smile, like he was trying to ease the tension.

You froze for a second, staring at him. Annoyance bubbled inside you, but you knew this was part of the job. It was a moment neither of you could avoid, no matter how much you wished you could.

“Just for tonight,” you repeated, more to yourself than to him, taking a deep breath as you forced a smile onto your face.

The photographer kept directing the group, asking for different poses, more smiles, more closeness. A part of you wanted to pull away, but another part knew that would only make things worse. So you went with it, doing what was expected, perfect smile, flawless posture, all while Rudy’s hand stayed on your waist, like it was the most normal thing in the world.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, the photographer signaled that the shoot was done. Rudy’s hand dropped from your waist, but he didn’t step away. He looked at you, his gaze holding too many unspoken words.

“You okay?” he asked softly, his voice low, meant only for you.

You looked at him, feeling the words catch in your throat. There was something ironic about that question. You knew the answer wasn’t as simple as “yes.” Everything between you two was so tangled, so complicated, that words seemed pointless.

“I’m fine,” you replied, though it didn’t feel true. The answer came out more robotic than honest, but you weren’t willing to give him more than that.

Once again, the distance between you both became tangible. Rudy didn’t push. He gave you one last look before turning back to the group, rejoining the rest of the cast. You, on the other hand, stayed there for a moment, trying to process what had just happened.

Even though you’d had to interact with him for work, the frustration lingered in your chest.

The night went on, and you knew you’d have to face him again at some point. The red carpets, the events, the interviews—it was all part of the job. But at the end of the day, all that was left between you two was the weight of a past you still didn’t know how to let go of.

[poge-life]

heyyy. can u do a drew starkey imagine where both him and the reader are members of the obx cast and they are at the pougelandia event and they are in a secret relationship but they are constantly doing cute stuff throughout the event but the reader gets a bit tipsy a bit tipsy and outs their secret by accidentally kissing him on stage and the whole crowd reacts and screams. also sorry if this really long.

Ugh, I absolutely loved this one!

This was probably the best event you had ever been to. Jonas had decided to do a big ‘Poguelandia’ event to kick off season 3 and there were hundreds of people here. You absolutely loved how much support the show got and how happy this event made people. Maddy and you had pregamed before you left, as always.

You guys had been dating for a year and it was the best year of your life. You guys had immediately kicked it off when you met and then one thing led to another and you started dating. You both decided to keep it a secret from the public, just knowing how cruel the media could be and would try and twist you guys apart. Obviously, your friends knew; considering it would be hard to hide it from the people you were always with.

You guys had shown up separately; you arriving with the girls and Drew arriving with the guys. And boy, were you having a hard time keeping your hands to yourself. His hair had grown out again and he opted out of styling it, leaving it messy. He was wearing his green jacket with a white Tee underneath, pairing it with black jeans and his black converse. Going for a more casual look, you had a black cropped button up tucked into a black skirt with white flowers on it and slit up the side. You paired it with platform docs and gold jewelry.

Everyone had been split into different groups for all the stuff going on; you were with Carlacia and Maddy while Drew was with Austin. Carlacia had mistakenly left you and Maddy unsupervised at the bar and to no one’s surprise, you both got tipsy. It was no ones fault but her own. She had been told when she joined the cast to never let you and Maddy be alone at any kind of bar or else you’ll drink them out under the table.

Once the performance’s started, you guys all made your way up to the platform, to get away from the crowd and have some time with your friends. You stood in front of Drew with Chase on one side you and JD on the other. You all were just having a good time with each other and you couldn’t have thought of a better group of people to be friends with.

You leaned back against Drew, looking up at him as he looked down at you. He chuckled at your appearance; cheeks all red and rosy but he couldn’t tell if it was from being in the sun all day. Or, it might be the fact that you’re wearing all black in 70 degree weather.

“Having fun?” He asked, letting out a laugh as you had a dopey grin on your face as you nodded, “The best fun. I haven’t been this relaxed in a long time.”

“Good,” He smiled, placing a hand on your waist, thumb brushing the skin exposed between your skirt and shirt. Goosebumps showed up at the feeling of his cold ring against your skin that had been warm all day but it was comforting and very much needed. It probably wasn’t the best idea to be drinking in the heat but you didn’t care. This day was about you and your friends and you were going to enjoy it.

“What?” Drew asked, once he realized you were still staring at him. You shrugged, turning around to lean on the bar, “Can’t I just appreciate how good looking my boyfriend is?”

“Uck. You guys are gross.” Chase mumbled, brushing past you two as JD followed after him.

A/N

Please feel free to let me know if you guys want me to continue this fic!!

[mesetacadre]

Hey do you think you could watch and give your throughts on youtuber Jonas Čeika video "marx was not a statist"?

Thank you

Quite honestly, the title alone already betrays some amount of anarchist metaphysics, the concept of stateism is a purely idealist notion which only works if you are a liberal about authority. But regardless, I still watched the full thing.

The video starts with a very semantic-focused discourse on how marx never used "socialism" to mean the lower phase of communism, and way too much time on the terms transitionary period/DotP as if they weren't two terms that refer to the same thing. In the case of socialism/lower phase of communism, I think he's obfuscating. He focuses the discussion on whether Marx used a certain term in the same way we do now. This would be like spending a good 5 minutes of a video presenting, with an almost accusatory disposition against modern communists, how the bolsheviks called themselves social-democrats, pretending like the terms haven't simply evolved. He promises an "active engagement with marxist theory" and he starts by arguing semantics. He even acknowledges this possible criticism, but you also then have to defend why that criticism is not valid, instead he acts like merely acknowledging it will make that criticism invalid. I'm also spending this time on this specific point because, later, he also forgets how Marx used the word "socialism".

When he does define the lower stage of communism, he engages in a very mechanic and economicist view, with the simple train of thought: No money (replaced with vouchers) > no capital to accumulate > no classes > no state. I think that just by asking how these vouchers will be regulated and how access to wealth restricted to the use of those vouchers, the conclusion that the substitution of money necessarily leads through that chain to the disappearance of the state becomes, very transparently, downright infantile.

In his point about how the Paris Commune changed Marx's view on the state, he cites excerpts in a very misleading way. The whole point starts by pointing out that, in the preface to the 1872 edition, the experience of the Paris Commune led Marx and Engels to the following analysis: "...the working class cannot simply lay hold of the ready-made state machinery, and wield it for its own purposes". This, along with a disregard of the importance of the specific policy points they outlined in the manifesto, and the importance of absolute centralization, means to him that Marx and Engels, actually, completely disregarded the use of the state on the road to communism. To quote Lenin: "Listen, comrade from Tiflis, one may prevaricate, but one should know the limit...."

What the video doesn't directly address (and although he talks about the text extensively, It's important to cite ideas where they actually come from), is that this quote, although it appeared in the 1872 edition of the manifesto, comes from Civil War in France, a longer text on the Paris Commune. This is a more complete context of that quote that the video never gives [ID in alt text]

That quote is the beginning of a chapter in which Marx describes how the Paris Commune governed itself, and how it broke with the series of revolts that happened throughout the period of feudalism, how the class character of the Commune marked it as the significant event that it is. It is true that the Commune's aspirations for the entire world was for its form to be replicated even in the smallest hamlet, and it may even be true that this influenced Marx to generally reject centralization of the state. However, what the breadtuber obviates throughout the entire video, is that a small state is still a state, and furthermore, that revolutionary strategy is not dictated by what is right or wrong, but by what can be done to advance the cause of the emancipation of the working class. It is one thing to reject the state outright, and another very different thing to acknowledge that it is necessary to take control of the state to emancipate the working class, even if you abstractly oppose the concept of a state. Not only to take control of the state, which is the point of the original quote, it is necessary to create our own worker's state, in whichever form it best suits the concrete reality: "the working class cannot simply lay hold of the ready-made state machinery, and wield it for its own purposes". Jonas says that the proletariat should, instead, create "radically democratic working class institutions". These gentlemen think that when they have changed the names of things they have changed the things themselves.

Instead of understanding that point, he goes even further. Jonas has understood that, by praising the measures taken by the Paris Commune (which, let's remember, failed after two months!), Marx and Engels began to believe that "[the state] is by nature bourgeois". Maybe Jonas started reading Bakunin instead of Marx without realizing, this is perhaps the most liberal and historically illiterate portion of the 30+ minute video essay. Again, comrade from breadtube, one may prevaricate, but one should know the limit. In fact, Marx even says in the same text being discussed: "It is generally the fate of completely new historical creations to be mistaken for the counterparts of older, and even defunct, forms of social life, to which they may bear a certain likeness". The irony needn't be explained.

As if Jonas hadn't misconstrued the text and Marx enough, he shows the quote: "... although there is nothing socialist in them except their tendency...". At first I was unable to find this specific quote in Civil War in France, not in any chapter nor in the footnotes. As it turns out, this quote is not from Civil War in France, as Jonas so succinctly cites it, but from the draft of the text. First, it's simply dishonest to cite such a cherrypicked line from a draft and passing it off as something Marx published.

There might be a myriad of possible reasons why this idea did not make it into the final text, but in order for the audience to correctly follow along, it's necessary for them to know where an idea comes from. Beyond this, which I find misleading enough, the video makes the point that with this line, Marx is clearly differentiating between a dictatorship of the proletariat and socialism. But hang on, didn't Jonas spend the first 5 minutes of the video explaining that, in the times of Marx, socialism was understood to be a reformist and petit-bourgeois stance? So, then, how could this out of context, unpublished line be Marx making a distinction between lower-phase communism and the dictatorship of the proletariat? This is the phrase's context [ID in alt text]:

The actual point of this portion is not even related to what Jonas makes it out to be. Here, using "socialist" as another name for utopians, Marx makes the distinction between previous movements of utopians, those socialist sects, and the Paris Commune, because even though their goals, the emancipation of labor, may appear similar, there is nothing socialist [utopian] in them because their means are not utopian, but the beginnings of scientific communism. So, then, not only did Jonas go back on the first point of the video to dunk on the evil stalinists, and not only did he completely remove the context of a phrase by failing to cite properly, but he also failed to even understand the points made in the text he's cherrypicking. Is this what passes for "active engaging with marxist texts" in breadtube?

After this portion, which I still consider the better half of the video, he veers into talking about socialism in one country, first by, again, very blatantly removing important parts of the texts he talks about. The quote he shows, from Principles of Communism, is as follows: "Will it be possible for this revolution to take place in one country alone? No. By creating the world market, big industry has already brought all the peoples of the Earth [...] into such close relation with one another that none is independent of what happens to the others [...] It follows that the communist revolution will not merely be a national phenomenon but must take place simultaneously in all civilized countries [...] It is a universal revolution and will, accordingly, have a universal range." It is true that Engels states that communist revolutions cannot be confined to the national scale, but those ommissions hide a lot of nuance that is very relevant to discussing Marx and Engels' positions on the national/international question. This is the full quote [ID in alt text]:

Marx and Engels were unable to completely and correctly analyze the imperialist form of capitalism, which hadn't yet fully crystallized, economically speaking. According to them, since capitalism was the most developed in places like England or France, the proletariat was also more developed, and the socialist revolution would happen first in these places, and propagate outwards. This notion was proved false by both theory (Lenin's imperialism) and by practice. Lenin identified that, as imperialism settled down as the highest stage of capitalism, the imperialist chain could only be broken at the weakest link, which was Russia at the time. I'm insisting on Lenin's theories because Jonas also claims Lenin to the "not statist" camp, and the video very quickly loses any originality by defaulting to the narrative of Stalin betraying Marx and Lenin by rejecting the world-wide revolution in the short-medium term as a pre-requisite for the establishment of a dictatorship of the proletariat. I think that going more in depth into this will only make this response unnecessary longer, but to end it, I think it's apt to end with a Lenin quote which directly refutes this anti-Lenin betrayal notion:

A United States of the World (not of Europe alone) is the state form of the unification and freedom of nations which we associate with socialism—about the total disappearance of the state, including the democratic. As a separate slogan, however, the slogan of a United States of the World would hardly be a correct one, first, because it merges with socialism; second, because it may be wrongly interpreted to mean that the victory of socialism in a single country is impossible, and it may also create misconceptions as to the relations of such a country to the others.

Uneven economic and political development is an absolute law of capitalism. Hence, the victory of socialism is possible first in several or even in one capitalist country alone. After expropriating the capitalists and organising their own socialist production, the victorious proletariat of that country will arise against the rest of the world—the capitalist world—attracting to its cause the oppressed classes of other countries, stirring uprisings in those countries against the capitalists, and in case of need using even armed force against the exploiting classes and their states. The political form of a society wherein the proletariat is victorious in overthrowing the bourgeoisie will be a democratic republic, which will more and more concentrate the forces of the proletariat of a given nation or nations, in the struggle against states that have not yet gone over to socialism. The abolition of classes is impossible without a dictatorship of the oppressed class, of the proletariat. A free union of nations in socialism is impossible without a more or less prolonged and stubborn  struggle of the socialist republics against the backward states.

On the Slogan for a United States of Europe, V. I. Lenin (1915)

Overall, I think this video lacks any kind of rigor or respect for the texts discussed. Citations are pretty predominantly misleading or incomplete in some way, he extrapolates fantastical ideas from texts he doesn't appear to understand, and more in general, the way the video is concienved reeks of dogmatism, the arguments overwhelmingly boil down to "Marx said this (according to me), so it must be true". There is no actual engagement with texts, but there isn't even a will to engage with history. Marxism does not end with Marx and Engels, it's a philosophical and political framework that extends beyond the gospel of incomplete quotes. Even if Marx and Engels really did believe such anti-materialist ideas as "the state is bourgeois by nature", it would not change the facts that the history and experiences after the Paris Commune should also have weight in order to reach conclusions.

[mysunshinetemptress]

You see me

Leah Williamson x McCabe!Reader

Warnings: angst, feeling invisible, Leah’s ACL. Also I decided to split it into two parts this is a little background in part one part two is more your relationship development and then the downfall.

Leah wasn’t a mean person, she had never been mean to anyone in her life, until she met you the Arsenal signing who hadn’t had the opportunity to play for them in her first few seasons sent out on loan instead, Katie’s little sister, she was so mean to you though all because of a stupid bet your sister had made. Leah was doing the meanest thing she could possibly think of to you, you the quite and shy defender who only seemed to speak on the pitch, you who shied away from every fight on the pitch brought your way, you who was currently standing in front of her with tear stained cheeks as your eyes pricked with more fresh tears threatening to spill over, you who’s hands shook as you held on desperately to her present your signed Thierry Henry Arsenal jersey you had gotten as a kid. You whose eyes broke from their stare to look at Katie as she laugh “i mean come on pal hardly you actually thought that.” You who as Katie began laughing again surrounded by the Arsenal girls shoved the framed jersey into her hand quietly saying happy birthday as you turned to race out of the room. Leah was mean so mean to you a girl who didn’t deserve any of this. Amanda came pushing through the Arsenal girls before reaching her daughter “where is she off to then we are about to do the cake.” Leah turned to look at her mum cheeks blotchy and tears in her eyes “mum….i.”

6 MONTHS EARLIER

You grew up one of the youngest of 11 kids, the younger sister of international footballer Katie McCabe and so the title of “Mini Mac.” Had been bestowed upon you when you first signed for Shelbourne FC. Only you where the complete opposite to your older sister quite, reserved and always ready to shy away from a fight on or off the pitch you could easily get lost in a crowd and often times that was the case. You knew growing up in a house with so many kids whether everyone was there or not you had to be loud to be seen but after so many years of trying as a little kid you got used to being quite and invisible and unsurprisingly that transferred into your football career and adult life.

You had made your senior debut for Ireland at 16 just three weeks before your 17th birthday and shortly after your older sister’s team Arsenal had come knocking looking to sign you in the summer transfer window. How could you pass on the opportunity to play for your childhood club, a top team in the WSL and better yet along side your ideal, your older sister.

But your career seemed to get stuck at Arsenal, getting loaned out after your first season of sitting on the bench wasn’t ideal and when you finally thought you would get to step out on to the pitch for your dream team you got loaned out again this time to Manchester United.

Manchester wasn’t always the best Marc Skinner ran a tight ship that often led to you feeling worse than before hiding away from his constant grief about the team not being good enough in your cubby became a norm, but at least you got to play a couple of games right ?. what you hadn’t expected was to be called back to your parent club. With news of Leah’s ACL tear hitting the media a few days later and her inevitable exit from the team so she can focus on recovery you some how still hadn’t expected to get a phone call from Jonas Eidevall informing you that Arsenal had requested your return to take Leah’s spot on the back line plus this time would be different you would get to play along side Katie for both club and country you would have someone who wouldn’t mind sitting with you just talking about random things.

Boy where you wrong, arriving at London Colony you where greeted with the medical staff who wanted to do a check before they let you in to train with the girls agreeing quickly as to get it over and done with you couldn’t help but tap your foot excitedly the thought of pairing up with your older sister in training and just laughing like you used to. Arriving into the changing room you turned looking for your sisters cubby spotting the shamrocks decor you smiled at the little sense of home no matter how cliche it was before setting your things into empty space beside her looking in at the photos that dawned the inside smiling at the family photo of all 11 of you before it waved as you spotted your face half cropped out of it only you knew it was you otherwise you wouldn’t have a clue who it was. You jumped slightly at the loud noise smiling at the familiar accent Turing to spot your older sister “Y/n.” You looked at all the other Arsenal girls smiling “hi.” Katie walked towards you eyebrows pinched together in confusion “wha ya doin here.” You looked at her confused this time “ I got called off loan I’m covering the centre back position.” The team looked at you confused “we don’t need another Centre Back Y/n we have Rafa, Lotte, Jen and Teyah.” You looked at Katie a little hurt at she brushed your position off of course you knew that Arsenal didn’t have a shortage of players that’s why you where sent on loan in the first place but now you where here to play for their senior squad for the first time at the age of 22 along side Katie and you couldn’t help but feel like she didn’t want you there “I know, but Jonas called me and he said that I would be taking over for Leah for the time being.” You were cut off by Jen “he said that to me and Lotte as well mate.” You felt delusional now of course you wouldn’t be the first choice not against Jens experience and Lottes longevity at Arsenal from being an academy player you where just Katie’s little sister the name on your back the reason you had gotten so far that’s what you had been told since your older brother Gary had you out playing in the road “oh yeah I’m probably just here to back up you guys then or maybe Steph I can play on the left.” Jen nodded moving to her cubby as the rest of the team dispersed “I’m really excited.” Katie looked at you eyebrows forward “why.” You smiled “I get to play along side you here, you know my dream club with my big sister I was actually wondering if you might want to….” Victoria made her way over jumping on to Katie’s back “partners for training.” You looked at the way Katie’s face lit up for the younger girl “who else would I be partners with.” Katie turned and began talking with the younger girl as you felt your heart sink you wanted to partner with Katie but just like at home when she would rather play with Lauryn or international duty and you could never drag her away from Rue or Louise.

You sighed walking back into the changing room taking off your boots before heading to the gym where you watched the girls separate into their groups as you headed over to the balance ball looking to start like you normally did at United. You couldn’t help look around at all the little cliques within the team and wonder if you would ever fit in, shaking your head you decided to try and stick with Katie you could at least count on her she was a built in buddy for crying out loud.

This happened for the first couple of weeks back at the Arsenal you following Katie and her friends around as you tried to fit into conversations or into training exercises but they never seemed to notice you often getting cut off or left to run a drill solo, match days were one of the worst getting dressed into your Arsenal shirt adrenaline kicking in as you hoped today would be the day you started or even got to come off the bench only to be met with a full 90 minutes of siting alone on the end of the bench freezing legs bouncing up and down.

Team nights weren’t any better often sitting alone just watching your teammates laugh trying to get in on the jokes and have a laugh but ultimately getting talked over again. You would often find yourself slipping out before food arrived.

Leah had been watching you over the past few weeks heartbreaking at the sight of your depleted emotions as you were either denied a conversation or training partner or the opportunity to represent Arsenal. Walking into the changing room Leah looked around smiling at you softly as you looked up catching her eyes as you tied your boots getting ready to head out for training “hey, we are having a team session at mine this weekend I was wondering what you eat from the Chinese to have it all ready.” You looked quite shocked at the older girl not once had someone approached you, you always had to put in the effort and asking what you wanted to eat at hers was even more shocking you knew you wouldn’t even last that long but the look on Leah’s face told you she wasn’t taking no for an answer “eh just some version of spicy noodles please.” Leah nodded smiling “cool it starts at 7 but come over whenever yeah.” You nodded smiling “thank you.” Leah squeezed your arm heading to the physio as you head out to train.

Arriving at Leah’s you texted Katie who you knew had already arrived telling her you were outside and asking her to get the door as the anxiety built at the thought of ringing the doorbell but after 20 minutes you decided you where just going to have to push it aside and knock. Instantly the door opened as Leah smiled at you happily “hey you made it.” You smiled sheepishly at her “yeah sorry I…. Is Katie here.” Leah looked at you worriedly as you picked at your hand “yeah over there.” You turned spotting your older sister before walking over “hi.” You felt stupid as no one not even your sister seemed to acknowledge you as you looked around for an empty seat before opting to stand in the doorway to the hall. Hours ticked by as you watched your teammates once again laugh and enjoy each others company as you stood awkwardly away moving whenever someone had to get past, sighing you set your drink on the table before heading to the door before you felt someone grab your hand “where you off to then.” You turned eyes landing on Leah as she smiled at you “me..oh..I…well I was going to head home.” Leah looked at you carefully “how about one drink with me and if you still want to leave after it then you can and I’ll see you on Sunday.” Looking at her quizzically “ok.” You were shocked at how quickly you agreed but followed the older girl as she laced her fingers with yours pulling you into the kitchen “right pretty girl what would you like to drink.” You looked at the drinks spread out in front of you before agreeing to a bottle of Heineken as Leah popped off the top handing it to you “you know for a McCabe you’re awfully quiet.” You smiled halfheartedly “I know, I….its just the way I am I guess” you paused “I tried to be..but when you get left out no matter how hard you try you sort of just I don’t know adapt to it ya know.” Leah smiled at you softly “well I think it’s rather refreshing I mean I know she’s your sister but Jesus Christ Katie’s worse then Tooney and that girls loud.” You let out a laugh as Leah’s eyes lit up she had never heard you laugh before and to make you laugh caused something to stir within her.

You both didn’t seem to notice the time as the girls crowded into the kitchen to say goodnight to their host as you looked at your phone looking back up you realised Leah had been swept away by your teammates as you put the empty bottle you had been nursing for the last four hours and slipped out the front door before heading home.

Team nights continued on like this, the girls sat laughing in each other’s sitting rooms while you and Leah talked about anything and everything in the kitchen laughing amongst yourselves. You couldn’t help but smile at the blonde the fluttering feeling in your stomach worsening the more you both did this at team bonding nights so much so it had spilled over to getting the fluttering feeling every time you saw the older girl.

Playing at Arsenal was improving too, you had been pushing your self harder than ever hoping for Jonas to notice and give you some minutes and finally it payed off.

You guys were set to play United and you couldn’t wait to see some of your old teammates especially Mary who had taken you under her wing when you joined on your loan.

Walking out for warm ups you began lightly running before being pulled into a rondo and then taking shots at Manu. You began to make your way inside when you heard your name being called before looking to the family and friend section seeing Leah smiling you waved sheepishly making your way back to the changing room. Jonas had barged in ten minutes before kick off stating a change to the line up “Y/n you’re starting on the left Steph is out she has a problem with her hamstring.” You looked at the older man surprised as you nodded standing to make your way to the tunnel.

After a tough match that ended in a draw you turned looking at your teammates breaking into groups as they began making their way to the away stand to thank the travelling fans before you felt someone jump on your back “Maca.” You laughed trying to shove her off “Maza get off me.” Laughing Mary jumped off your back pulling you into a bear hug. You sunk into her embrace as you squeezed her tight “I miss you.” You hummed “I miss you too.” Mary pulled away “you seem happy, definitely happier what’s going on your new team absolutely adore you then.” You smiled halfheartedly as Mary felt her smile drop “hey you can tell me.” You shrugged “I don’t know I just thought this time would be different, getting to play at my favourite club with Katie is a dream I mean it’s all I’ve ever wanted but I just can’t seem to click.” You dropped your head feeling disappointed “oh y/n they’ll come around your amazing, quiet and shy yes but amazing nonetheless.” You looked up “I think I made a friend though Mary.” Mary felt her heart swell at the hope in your eyes “oh yeah who.” You smiled thinking of Leah just as she wrapped her arm around your shoulder greeting Mary who seemed to immediately notice your red cheeks “ready to head to then.” Mary grabbed your arm pulling you towards her “did she not tell you Williamson she’s staying at mine tonight then heading back to London.” Leah looked at you eyebrows raised as she poked her tongue into her cheek trying to not get annoyed at the way Mary’s arm wrapped around your waist and you leaned into the older girl “but it’s Katie’s night for team bonding.” Mary shrugged “we have had this planned for weeks Williamson I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait.” You smiled sheepishly at the blonde “sorry Lee, I’ll see you tomorrow though.” Leah sighed pulling you into a hug “alright but you text me as soon as you hit London.” You smiled nodding “Will do.”

You spent the night talking about Leah to Mary and the older girl couldn’t help but smile you looked so in love just talking about her and so happy that you had made a friend on the Arsenal squad that not once did she try stop you from talking instead smiling and nodding along and asking questions when she thought of them.

Leah spent the night feeling miserable sat on the couch beside Lia and Beth, your kitchen chats had become her favourite part of team nights and with you still in Manchester Leah felt slightly lost, that was until Katie announced a game idea “let’s play truth or dare.” Sighing Leah joined the rest of the girls sat in a circle laughing every now and again as she watched her teammates take turns choosing truth or dare and carrying out each task that was until Katie decided to ask her “right then Williamson truth or dare.” Leah smiled never one to back out “Dare McCabe.” Katie smiled wide “I dare you to ask my sister out and see how long you can string her along for.” Leah felt her smile drop “what.” Lia piped up “Katie that’s a bit far.” Katie shook her head “nah it’s not, it’s just a joke she’ll understand come on I’ll even make it a bet.” Leah looked around at her teammates, before dropping her eyes to the ground. She liked you more than a friend but you had never given any indication that you liked her back, maybe she could use this to see and then if you did you guys would end up dating anyway right. Looking up Leah smiled slightly “how much.”

[pers1st]

i can't handle change - leah williamson x reader

part two of let down

pairing: leah williamson x barça!reader

warnings: bit angsty

You had expected your first day, merely a day after arriving in the city, to be full of football. Barcelona did media duties occasionally, for sure. But you had expected to throw yourself into training immediately here, mostly in an attempt to conceal your emotions and at least act as though you wanted to give everything for this club. In truth, you wanted to give everything for yourself. You wanted to keep yourself a candidate for the national team, you wanted to keep yourself a candidate for Barcelona once they were ready to sign you back, you wanted to play, partially, out of spite as well. Anger was one of the emotions in your mess of a mind, and although you knew that it was no use, you wanted to show Jona the mistake he had made.

What you hadn't expected was the absolutely overwhelming amount of cameras, catching every inch of you they could. London Colney, otherwise known as the Arsenal training centre, was nice, but it was different from what you were used. The corridors were small and you feared they'd squish you if you stared at the white walls for a second too long. The friendly woman from the entrance, who's name you had missed due to her heavily accented English, had led you all the way to Jonas' office on the first floor, and the man was gauging at you with a grin you couldn't quite place. You shifted uncomfortably.

"So, let's put pen to paper!", he clapped his hands as he gently motioned to the seat next to him after having shaken your sweaty hand.

"Yes", you croaked as you sat down, taking the pen with the Arsenal logo into your shaky grip. The smile on your lips was fake as ever as you scribbled your name onto the dotted line. You fooled them again when holding up your shirt for the cameras. And again as you sat in front of the social media's team, answering all of their questions.

Your move surprised everyone in the Women's Football Community, can you tell us what exactly made you choose Arsenal?

Of course. I think Arsenal are very good with the fans, and they play really good football. I'm really excited to maybe play at the Emirates, and yeah I think anyone can see they are a real family so that's why I'm happy to be a part of it.

They payed the most. That was the answer you would've given, had anyone actually wanted to hear the truth from you. But people didn't want the truth. People wanted you to love Arsenal. And although it pained you, you had to admit that so far, it wasn't that bad.

Leah gave you a tour of her home that was now yours too, and the training grounds were nice. The gym was nice. The changing room was nice. The cafeteria was nice. You couldn't hate the club as much as you had when you hadn't seen it yet - hadn't been a part of it.

"So, do you like it here?"

You thought for a second that you would choke on your food when Wally asked you this, completely blindsiding you as you sat with her, Leah, Laia and Teyah in the dining hall, letting most of their conversation slip past you. Their English was difficult for you, not because you hadn't learned (or, attempted to learn) them language, but because you'd never heard it as much as you did here. The words were starting to become a constant, distant noise somewhere in the back of your mind, but as Wally looked at you expectantly and the others turned towards you, you knew that this wasn't something you could escape.

"Yeah, sure", you smiled. "It's nice here."

"Your contract is two years, right?"

You nodded. "Sí."

Two years. Two long years of being away from Alexia, except for Spanish camps. Two long years of being away from your parents, your actual teammates, your actual home. The thought didn't scare you as much as it used to.

"So, two years and then you'll go back?", Leah nudged you playfully, sipping her water as she smirked.

You shrugged. "We should see."

Over the next few days, you got to know the team, and London, even better. Leah spent every minute she could with you, always partnering with you during training and offering to show you her favorite cafés and places in the city when you weren't kicking balls around, inviting you over to her flat for a movie night or taking you to the little Spanish market she'd found halfway across the city. You appreciated her company, knowing that she was trying to make this transition as comfortable for you as possible. She didn't succeed completely, as you still felt homesick whenever she spared you a minute to call Alexia, or when you checked Barça's social media to see all of your teammates together, seemingly not even missing you.

Logically, you knew that they did. Barça was a family, and Alexia told you everyday that the girls were asking about you. Many of them texted you as well, informing you that they would try and find a livestream of your cup game against Reading, in which you would likely make your debut for your new club. Still, seeing them without you felt like someone was shooting daggers through your chest, piercing the skin and leaving you to bleed. You wanted to be there. You should be there. They had taken that opportunity away from you, ripping it out of your hands and tearing it apart like a piece of paper.

Anger and longing rose within you interchangeably, and if you didn't know any better, you would've believed you were simply going through a breakup like any other. But you forced yourself to push through the first week as hard as you could, keeping conversations with Alexia short in order to not be pulled back into memories and instead attempt to enjoy the present.

You were glad when Laia told you about her birthday party just a few days before your first match. The team had planned to go to Laia's favorite Spanish restaurant, and as you were a part of the team now as well, Kim had extended the reservation for another person. That was how you had found yourself, dressed in a tight black dress with a pullover on top, in Leah's car, allowing yourself to accept her offer to share a ride, trying to ignore the ringing phone in your hands.

Your ringtone cut off the soft country music playing in the background, which you had told Leah many times you would not enjoy. When the ringing finally stopped, you breathed a sigh of relief. Just for it to start again mere seconds later.

"Maybe you should answer that", Leah huffed, her eyes focused on the road but a soft smile on her lips. You shrugged.

"It's Alexia."

"You're ignoring the Alexia Putellas?" Leah's expression turned into a shocked one at once, but you could only chuckle.

"You're feeding her ego. She's just- my best friend, you know?", you attempted to explain how Ale's success had never driven a wedge between the two of you, not only because many believed you were equally good at football, but because Alexia was likely the most down-to-earth person you knew. Of course, the woman knew how good she was. Everyone did. But she'd never let it change her.

"Isn't that just more of a reason to not ignore her?"

You shrugged again.

"I dunno. Don't want to talk to her."

Leah's eyebrows furrowed as you finally reached your destination and she put the car into park. Your phone began ringing again. This time, you declined her call, texting her quickly that you couldn't talk right now.

"Why?"

You shrugged again. It seemed like all you knew to do, but as you looked at the way Leah's expression didn't relent in the slightest, you knew that it wouldn't work anymore. Maybe it was good to talk to Leah. Maybe she would understand.

"It just reminds me of home, you know. I miss it", you croaked, suddenly overwhelmed with longing once more. You wanted nothing more than to be in your apartment again, to drive to the Barcelona training grounds in your blue and red shirt, to join Mapi's banter, you even missed being yelled at by Irene and Marta.

"Are we really that bad?", Leah attempted to joke, a hand of hers flying out to gently land on your knee. Your breath hitched at the sudden contact, your eyes leaving hers to stare at her fingers on your skin.

“No”, you huffed. “Not at all, that’s the problem.”

Sitting in the car with Leah, nothing but the annoying country music in the background, for a second felt like a breath of fresh air. For just a second, you could focus on the warmth of her skin, on the air refresher dangling from her rearview mirror, on the eyes that she lay on you gently, on the softness of it all.

“Should we go?”, you broke the silence, knowing that Laia would not be happy if you were late. It was past ten already, and you softly smiled at the knowledge that some Spanish habits never truly left. It felt comforting to eat this late, as stupid as it sounded. It reminded you of the countless team dinners you’d had with Barça. You didn’t allow yourself, once again, to dwell on the fond memories as you pushed your door open without awaiting Leah’s answer, her hand retrieving from its position as she followed you into the restaurant, a bottle of Spanish wine in your hands. You had brought as much as you had been allowed to bring, and you figured passing Laia one singular bottle couldn’t hurt too much.

The restaurant held a nice atmosphere, one that immediately pulled you in as the bell jingled above your head. Most of the girls were already sitting at the table reserved for you, who all turned as they waved at you happily, grins plastered on their faces. Laia caught your eye first - she was wearing a little plastic crown, grinning like a kid on Christmas as she rose from her seat, hurrying to welcome you and Leah, who seemed to be the last ones to have arrived.

"¡Feliç aniversari!", you hugged Laia shortly, rubbing your hand across her back before pushing the bottle into her hands.

"Merci", she smiled as she accepted it, taking Leah into a short hug as well before you made your way towards the only seats available. The warmth of Leah's body next to yours, the familiar food and music playing softly in the background almost made you forget about the guilt in your stomach. You weren't supposed to enjoy all of this half as much as you did.

Seemingly as a distraction, though you figured you subconsciously wanted to remind yourself of what was your actual home, you opened Instagram. A video of Aitana singing the Barça chant, laughing into the camera with golden confetti around her shoulders, made you halt. You scrolled. You saw the trophy.

Shit - that was what Alexia had been calling you about. Of course. It came back to you flying - the supercopa final was today. How could you have forgotten? It was all you had been looking forward to ever since the winter break had ended. Yet you were so far away from it all, the match had slipped between your fingers, and you were left with nothing but the reminder that Barcelona functioned just as well without you, that they had simply moved on, while you were stuck here - in a Spanish restaurant, with your "friends", trying to remind yourself that if you tried hard enough, this could feel like home.

With a screech, you pushed your chair back and wobbled out of your seat uncomfortably.

"Just need the bathroom", you excused yourself in response to Leah's surprised expression, before marching through the restaurant and leaving all of the girls behind.

The bathroom was empty, luckily, and you let the tears flow at once. How had you been so stupid? How had you thought that, even for a minute, you would be okay so far away from your home, watching your teammates do all the things you wanted to do with them, while seemingly not missing you at all?

It didn't make any sense to you- Barcelona could win every trophy they wanted, while you were stuck in London, not even sure whether they would want you back after your contract was over. Were you delusional? Were you ever going to return to Barcelona?

Just as your brain started spinning further, and you had to steady yourself on the sink, knuckles turning white from how hard you wanted to keep yourself grounded, the door to the bathroom swung open. You didn't need to look up to know who it was - her body was right behind you, and she smelled of vanilla, just like her car did.

Leah. It was Leah who had entered the bathroom. Leah who was frantically trying to get you to talk to her, all the while you were choking on your sobs. Leah, who had tried her best to make you somewhat comfortable in the club she loved so much. How were you supposed to look her in the eye?

[pixiesfz]

Leah Williamson x reader

plot: y/n y/l/n is Chelsea royalty, a royal that is holding one big secret. (lets also pretend Leah never got injured)

warning: suggestion of smut, lust, angst, kinda long

It's derby day and you were lined up in the tunnels you were behind Sam who held a straight face, but you were secretly searching for a certain blonde, and when you did she sent a silent smirk which you rolled your eyes at. 'Good luck' you mouthed and she sent a wink back 'You too' she mouthed and you both smiled, thankfully not getting noticed by anyone (or so you thought) Sam slightly nudged you gaining your attention.

"What?" you asked and she looked at you "you good?" she asked and you nodded "always" and the Australian smiled slightly "good then".

You furrowed your brows at your teammate who was silently laughing to herself "I see your shoulders shaking Sam what is it?" you asked and she turned around to you and nudged her head towards Arsenal vice-captain "I just wanna see what type of scrimmage you and Williamson come up with today" she shrugged and you laughed "last time was hilarious, then at the club later when she went up to you- hilarious, you left after though before we could rip into you" Sam laughed a bit more "yeah I just got really tired" you told her.

You did not go home that night.

"This is so wrong" you breathed out as the blonde kissed down your neck, her hands roaming around your hips "Oh yeah?" Leah rebutted as she lifted her head up, she didn't lean back as your lips were practically connected.

"Then stop me."

You wanted to stop her, your clubs were rivals and you were both never going to leave said clubs. But with the way her breath was fanning over your neck you lost all control.

"Don't stop"

A confident smile spread over the blonde as she brought her lips to yours again, it was passionate like she thought it was never going to happen again.

But unfortunately, it did, again, again and again.

That's when you two decided to go on secret dates, movies with hoodies on that were immediately taken off when you got home to her apartment.

Then you two had almost gotten caught.

It was at training, you had dropped your house keys that now had an added key for Leah's apartment and Jessie Fleming picked them up for you, noticing that there were more keys than usual.

"1, 2 and 3 oh my goodness y/n/n who's house does this key belong to!" she half shouted which gained some of the team's attention as you blushed "my parents moved" you quickly came up with an excuse as you grabbed the keys from Jessie's hands "and I'm going to see them tonight" you pointed her brows at her which made her drop the situation.

"you never have anything fun happening in your life" she pouted before turning away, earning a laugh from the team.

oh only if she knew.

You weren't the only one in the relationship that had almost gotten caught, Leah had once too.

"Leah that girl has been checking you out for twenty minutes now, go talk to her" Katie told the blonde who chuckled, not even looking at the 'admirer' before answering "not my type" she shrugged and Katie gasped.

"You're seeing someone!" she accused, her Irish accent shining through.

"No, I am not" Leah scoffed "Then go talk to the girl" Caitlin piped up as she leaned into Katie, the Irish girl wrapping her free arm around the Australian's waist.

That's what Leah wanted, she knew you yearned for it too.

"And lead her on, no thank you" Leah laughed before walking past the couple. "I'm going home" she announced with a smile before walking out to get into a cab to yours.

Months of secrecy and now your clubs were to vs again. A rough tackle by Leah last time and your 'valid' reaction were what got you two red-carded at your last game and what now led you both to a secret relationship...weird now that you think about it.

When the game started Leah was on the other side as Jonas put her in an attacking position for the first half.

Arsenal was winning and you cursed to yourself, you were a competitive person and obviously wanted to win but it didn't look to good for the blues.

You had chances to score but their goalkeeper was good today which even made you angrier "fuck" you whispered as Manu saved another one of your shots "she's never this good" you whispered to Sam who nodded "someone must've lit a fire under her ass"

Your head immediately whipped to Leah who had a great big smile on her face, you knew if anyone could whip anyone into shape it was her.

The first half ended and you were stuck in the changing room with a yelling Emma, usually her speeches were helpful but today you just wanted to exit the building.

"y/l/n!" Emma called out and you brought your head from your hands "top right corner" she said "never seen her jump higher than there" she pointed out and you nodded.

When you went out you noticed that Leah had been put as a defender, your defender.

You didn't know whether to say hi, ignore her or to switch with Sam secretly but your legs weren't working with your brain as you now stood next to her.

"You good?" she asked as she stared at the Stadium around her "not now" you muttered and she nodded "valid".

Leah wasn't stupid, she had versed you before you had become an item, she knew you were competitive and she was too which is why you had both been avoiding the game.

The siren rang and you were both running Leah wanted a clean sheet and you wanted to get your name on the board.

It wasn't long till Lauren passed the ball to you and your dribbled down the right side, getting ready to attempt the ball top corner before a foot came under you, pushing you to the floor.

Usually in other games, Leah would leave you to the floor but this time she held out her hand "c'mon baby" she whispered as you grabbed her hand and winced once you put your body weight on your ankle.

"Off her Williamson" Lauren ran over and pushed her but you stepped in front of Leah protectively "she helped me up, we're good" you said as Lauren lifted her brows at you.

Something had changed, every player on the ground could see it, usually you and Leah were at each others throats on the ground and now you were helping each other up and protecting each other.

The game ended and you both went off to your own teams, you stayed to yourself, not in the mood to talk to anyone but you did notice the lingering stares of your team mates.

You were angry, you lost and all your team could think about was your act of kindness.

"Can I not be nice?" you asked loudly "Not to Arsenal" someone piped up and you rolled your eyes "fucking christ" you muttered and Sam stood up "It was just different, you weren't helping up your defenders at Spurs what's different about Leah?" she asked and you turned to your locker.

This didn't go un noticed by your team mates as Millie Bright stepped closer "What's different about Leah?" she asked again with genuine concern "y/n?"

"Because I liker her and we're dating" You shut her off and turned back to your locker, folding your clothes with more forced as the whole team looked at you.

When you drove home after the game you were surprised to see Leah sitting at the couch with a wine in hand and another glass for you on the table.

"I did something stupid" she told you and you nodded "me too" you sighed and plumped down onto the couch "who wants to share first?" Leah joked and you looked down at your thumbs "I told the team" you admitted and slowly looked at Leah, scared of her reaction.

You were very surprised to see a smiling Leah.

"Why are you smiling?" you asked and she laughed "I told my team too!" she revealed as she laughed "god we're both stupid"

"How'd the team react?" you ask and she took a sip of wine "gave me shit but then told me they already knew, apparently I left my snap maps on and Jen found me being here a few many times"

"How'd Chelsea react?"

"Told me it was about time I had something interesting in my life" you laughed before you turned to Leah.

"at least we don't have to be so secret anymore"

"next the media?" she guessed

"oh tik toks already blown up" you laughed.

That's how you both spent your night, cuddling on the couch and laughing at tik toks that were made of the game and your interactions.

"they're good" Leah realized

"they don't miss a thing"

[maxsimagination]

Hii.

This might seem like an odd request but can you do a lucy bronze x reader fluff where theres a thunderstorm at an away match or at england camp (your choice) and r gets scared so lucy makes her sleep with her and in the morning one of the team comes into wake the pair up as they slept in but they see the 'couple' and take a picture and show the squad and when they finally go down for breakfast the pair gets interrogated and a couple months the later the 2 start dating.

Thank you if you do , do it but you dont have to xx

𝙨𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙜𝙞𝙧𝙡 - 𝙡.𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙯𝙚

summary: reader is scared of thunderstorms and lucy comforts them during the night.

𖦹 masterlist

𝗕𝗔𝗥𝗖𝗘𝗟𝗢��𝗔 — 𝗧𝗘𝗡𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗙𝗘

it was an away game against tenerife, in tenerife.

the squad were all travelling together, and it was roughly 4 hours before we landed.

all twenty - four of us girls plus coaches and staff piled out of the airport and into the team-rented bus that took us to our booked hotel. there was an even amount of players so everyone would have a roommate. i had a feeling i knew who i’d be paired with, lucy bronze.

we’d hit it off when i first transferred to the spanish giants last summer, and ever since then she’d been like my mentor.

i was stoked to be in the same team as her a while ago and don’t get me wrong, i still was, but there was something more. she was an amazing person and player, and an attractive one at that.

it just so happened that i was a sucker for pretty girls.

“yn, are you ready to go?”

lucy’s voice pulled me out of my daydream, just as the bus pulled up in front of the hotel. she lightly tapped my arm and grabbed both our bags for us.

“mm, thanks luce.”

again, all twenty - four girls walked into the hotel reception. i almost felt bad for jona since he had a considerable amount of kids (and non-kids which acted like kids) to deal with. almost.

eventually we were all sorted into pairs and sent up to our rooms to get settled, with a strict order to be back at the reception by 6pm. lucy led the way to where our room was located, swiping the key card to let us in. it was a pretty room, with two double beds and a conjoined bathroom.

we set our bags down on the two beds. i chose the one closer to the door, while lucy took the one by the deck.

there was a couple hours until we had to be down for dinner, so i busied myself with sorting my things. i put my most used clothes and shoes in the provided drawers, keeping anything not needed in my suitcase.

eventually we both headed down for dinner and joined everyone else.

i’d noticed the sky was dark and overcast outside, which could only mean one thing. thunderstorms.

i’d never been a big fan of them, the lightning gave me shivers.

it was well past sunset when the team returned to the hotel. i was exhausted from the day and was looking forward to sleeping, but there was a niggle in the back of my mind.

i ignored it and went to have a shower.

when i came out, lucy went in. we hadn’t spoken much since getting back but there wasn’t any bad feelings. she came out of the bathroom just then, only wearing her boxers and a sports bra with her shirt hanging from her neck.

i was staring, respectfully. the girl had abs.

she must’ve noticed my gaze from where i was perched on my bed.

“like whatcha see?”

i blushed, hard, and look down in embarrassment of being caught.

there was a slight pitter-patter of rain drops on the glass from outside, and suddenly my nerves were back. lucy must’ve noticed me tense up.

“you all good?”

“yea, yes. just.. not the biggest fan of rain and thunderstorms.”

“you can join me over here if you want.”

her voice was soft, gentle.

“i’d like that. thankyou.”

i slip over to her double bed, perching on the edge and waiting for lucy to hop in. we must’ve fallen asleep together, because i have no recollection of actually getting to sleep.

in the morning, there was a light knock on the door. neither of us woke to the noise, so the person opened the door and walked in.

it was claudia, she’d come to wake us up. instead of being greeted with the two of us sleeping separately, we were both curled up together in the one bed. unfortunately, she’d think that too funny and snapped a picture before racing back to show patri and mariona.

when we did actually wake up, we didn’t really speak of the night before or sleeping in the same bed. i mumbled a quiet thankyou for comforting me again but that was it.

we walked down to breakfast, and were greeted by the whole team looking at us with a smirk.

when we sat down, claudia spoke first.

“so how was your sleep?”

“good, very comfy beds. how was yours?”

lucy didn’t miss a beat in calming the younger girls’ confidence.

“oh yea, it was good. very comfy. seemed like you two had a great time.”

she flipped her phone around to show us the picture she’d taken this morning. it was us, still asleep, in the same bed. lucy was lying on her back, but i was on my side and curled into lucy’s side, almost lying on top of her.

“it was cold last night, i couldn’t let the girl freeze to death.”

again, lucy was smooth and didn’t show any signs of nerves. i didn’t know whether to let out a sigh of relief or internally cry since she didn’t seem affected by it.

i just let it be, i didn’t want to make a big deal and embarrass either of us.

eventually time had passed and it had been two months since the thunderstorm incident. i thought about it constantly, it never left my mind. it took everything i me to not talk to lucy and clear everything up. i did not want to make a fool of myself.

we were at training that day, i was standing off to the side grabbing a drink when alexia came up beside me.

“you know she thinks about you too.”

her spanish accent didn’t help her case, but i knew what she said.

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.”

she gave me a knowing look, her captains look, she said it was.

“you know exactly what i am talking about. you should go talk to her.”

i could feel my face go pale at her words.

“ale, that is the last thing i want to do. what if she doesn’t like me back?”

my captain just laughs.

“niña tonta. do you see the way she looks at you? she loves you.” (you silly girl.)

i don’t respond, just blush a little and look out to where lucy was practicing on the pitch. she was so gorgeous, her muscles popping in all the right places.

“de acuerdo.” (okay.)

i don’t say anything else, just walk over to the water cooler to pick up my water bottle again. i end up waiting until practice is over and all the girls are walking to the change room.

“luce, can i borrow you over here?”

“yea, what’s up?”

“just wanted to talk, and get something off my chest.

um, so. i don’t know how to say this, but i guess, i like you more than friends?”

i looked down immediately, not wanting to see the look of rejection on lucy’s face. when she didn’t say anything, curiosity got the better of me and i looked up a bit.

she was grinning down at me with a huge smile.

“you know i like you too, right?”

i wanted to say i dumbfounded, but alexia had quite literally told me she liked me back and i still didn’t believe her.

“like, for real?”

lucy nodded, and leaned down to give me a peck on the lips.

i was stunned but had a tiny dopey smile plastered on my face. alexia had come out of the changing rooms to find us then, and saw lucy holding my hand, and me with a grin. she must’ve put two and two together and figured it out.

“i was right, sí?”

i nodded at her, and she laughed.

“i told you she liked you, niña tonta.” (silly girl.)

[97linelover]

Ex on the Beach - Kim Mingyu

summary: Breaking up with Mingyu broke you, but what if you get asked if you want to join a Reality-show called "Ex on the Beach?"

content: no Idol Mingyu x non Idol reader, fight,angst, happy end,fluff,smut, drama

wc: 4.4 k

a/n: In Germany we have exactly this show, so I came up with this Idea.

1 - 2 - 3 Action.

You walked along the LED-lit path towards the beach, wearing your new Skims bikini and a pair of heels.

You had spent a lot of time practicing walking in those heels on sand to make it look decent now.

In front of you, you spotted three lounge chairs with three men on them.

The first thing you noticed was the black mop of hair belonging to your ex.

You couldn't smile when you saw him; the heartbreak was still too fresh.

"Hi, my name is Y/N, and I'm 26 years old. I was born and raised in Berlin, and seven years ago, I moved to Frankfurt, where I met Mingyu. We started dating when I was 19, and we broke up nearly a year ago," you said with a smile that wasn't entirely genuine.

The robotic voice then asked for the reason the two of you broke up.

"It just became too much. He always chose her. We were celebrating our anniversary, and she called? He left me sitting there. We would be in the middle of sex, and he answered the call and left," you laughed at that.

"I was okay with it at the beginning because she was his best friend, but when I organized a birthday party for him, and she completely monopolized him, I lost it. I took her aside and told her that Mingyu was my boyfriend, and she just laughed and said he would always choose her," you said, nibbling on your lip as the memories came flooding back.

"And when he started having movie nights with her and brought her along to meet-ups with his friends, I distanced myself. Until one night, I packed all my things and told Mingyu that I was moving out."

"Did Mingyu care about that?" the voice asked once again.

"I don't know. At first, he was completely flabbergasted, but then he just let it be and never texted me again," you said, blinking away tears. "So now I'm here to teach him a lesson."

"That's Y/N," Mingyu's voice was barely a whisper, and the other boys gasped. "Did you two break up on good terms?" he chuckled at that. "No, she just left, and I found out she had an affair." The boys looked at you.

"This girl? Crazy, dude."

As you walked towards them, you felt a weird sensation bubbling up, and Mingyu got up and walked towards you. "Hi," he said softly, his brown eyes watching you. "Hey, Mingyu," you said, walking past him and hugging the other boys.

"So you're not even going to greet me properly?" Mingyu scoffed, and you looked at him. "I said hey. What do you want? Should I jump on you?" your voice was laced with venom, and he sighed.

"Listen, we need to spend a lot of time together here, so please get a grip," he said with a smug grin. "Fuck you, Mingyu," you spat and walked behind the other two boys.

Mingyu could only roll his eyes at your outburst.

You walked into the villa with Mingyu close behind you, and the others looked at you, waving. You smiled and introduced yourself to all of them. They were all pretty nice and made sure to welcome you warmly. Without hesitation, Seungcheol guided you around.

He showed you all the places around the house. "And here's your sleeping place. Tonight, you have to choose your sleeping partner," he said, chuckling. "It's either me or Mingyu, I'm afraid." You groaned at that. "Well, let's see how the night ends."

The entire show basically consists of alcohol, making out, and sex.

You had a Mojito in your hand while talking to Angela, Jonas's ex-girlfriend. "And when I walked into his apartment, he was hovering over her, kissing along her neck. I let out a scream and stormed out the door," you gasped. "No way, that's messed up." You hugged her as she began to sob.

You reassured her that Men sometimes are just Idiots, that cruel things can happen.

That she is worth so much more.

"I loved him so much," she cried, and you tried to calm her down.

"Y/N, wanna go down to the pool?" Cheol walked towards you, and you looked at Angela. "It's alright, darling," she said, wiping the tears away.

You got up following him towards the Pool area.

The two of you sat down on the lounge chairs. "Mingyu is looking at me like he wants to kill me," Seungcheol chuckled, and you shrugged. "He has no right anymore. I can talk to whoever I want," you said, taking a sip of your drink.

"So, are you open to something new?" he asked with raised eyebrows, and you gulped. "You know, I thought I was, but seeing him here gives me these weird feelings. I'm still in love with him, but it's over," you tried to smile.

"I actually talked a lot with him the past few days, and he is still pretty much in love with you. He also told me that there's so much he wants to ask you..." Seungcheol noticed your tears and hugged you. "I don't feel ready," you whispered, and he nodded. "This show is a lot to handle, I agree, but maybe it will all work out in the end."

He kissed your head softly, and suddenly, you heard the slam of a door. When you looked up, Mingyu was nowhere to be found.

"I should look for him," you said apologetically, and Seungcheol nodded. You rushed towards the bedroom. "Mingyu?" you called, looking inside the room to find him sitting on the bed.

His shoulders were slumped, and his head hung low.

"Go away, Y/N," he said, his voice dull, and you gulped. "Mingyu, you knew what this show was about. Why are you acting like this?" He got up, looking at you. "Because after all those years, you just left, and now you're here acting like we never happened."

"So now I'm the villain? Are you kidding me? I left because I felt so wrong in this relationship, and you didn't even try to reach out. So why should I still care?" your voice was weak.

"I didn't call you because you fucking went out and acted like a slut, fucking different men," he spat, and you gasped, the liquid from your cocktail landing on his face.

You suddenly felt numb, so embarrassed.

"Never talk to me again," your voice cracked, and you rushed out.

Tears streamed down your cheeks as you rushed past the others. "Y/N?" Angela's voice followed you as you sat down on one of the lounge chairs. "He called me a slut, Angi, how could he?" you sobbed.

"Why would he do that?" Angela took your hand for support. "I don't know. I never did anything. I loved him so much, I would've done anything for him." She hugged you tight and stroked your back.

"The two of you definitely need to talk. There's something wrong with everything," she whispered, and you agreed.

Mingyu calling you slut made you feel so bad, you could not stop shaking.

As the signal came that it was bedtime, everyone got ready for bed.

You only had two options: Mingyu or Seungcheol.

Just hearing his name made you crazy right now. There was no way you could lay down next to him.

So you climbed into the bed shared with Seungcheol and avoided Mingyu's gaze completely.

The next morning, you quickly got ready with a dip in the pool, and as you lay on the lounge chair, you felt someone next to you. "Y/N, we should talk," Mingyu's deep voice said, and you looked at him.

"I was clear yesterday, right? You called me a slut, Mingyu. This is a TV show; everyone can see this," you said, clearly frustrated and hurt.

"I know, and I'm sorry, but seeing you so close with Cheol brought back memories," he whispered, and you got up. "What memories are you even talking about, Mingyu? I don't get it."

The two of you walked to a quieter area. "After you left, I was fucking furious. I felt like someone had ripped my world apart. I wanted to run after you, but then I got some messages and pictures of you with another man," his voice got weaker. "You were fucking this guy, and there was a date. It was while we were dating," you let out a choked gasp. "No way!"

He looked down. "I felt like it was my fault, that I pushed you towards someone better," he took your hand. "I hope you realize that this is bullshit. Mingyu, I never had sex with someone else, not even in the year we split," you pleaded.

"I would never cheat on you, Mingyu. I was so fucking loyal to you, and I left because you were too blinded by Somi!" you raised your voice, and he gulped. "Every day, you went to her place and ditched me. She took every chance she could get, and I couldn’t watch you anymore."

Mingyu sighed, frustrated. "So our breakup was over Somi?"

"Yes! You're obsessed with her. It's crazy, Mingyu. I thought the two of you would have an affair."

"Somi never had a chance, Y/N. I love you. It's only you," he said, taking your hand and pulling you closer. "This year made me realize how much I love you," he stroked your cheek.

"You give me a kind of happiness no one else can," he said with tears in his eyes. "And I should've fought for you. I should've asked you if it was true, but it all made sense in my head."

He looked so sad that you pulled him in.

You melted into the kiss, your hands gripping his shoulders as he held you close. For a moment, everything else faded away—the cameras, the villa, the other contestants. It was just you and Mingyu, the connection between you rekindling with every passing second.

When you finally pulled away, you were both breathless. Mingyu rested his forehead against yours, his eyes searching yours for any sign of hesitation.

“I never stopped loving you, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “I was an idiot, and I let my insecurities and Somi get in the way. But I want to make things right. I want us to start over.”

You blinked away the tears that were threatening to spill over. The pain from the past year, the heartbreak, the anger—it was all still there. But so was the love you had for him. You had never stopped loving him either.

“I don’t know if it’s that simple, Gyu,” you admitted, your voice wavering. “So much has happened, and there’s a lot we need to work through. But I want to try, if you’re willing to put in the effort.”

He nodded earnestly, his hands squeezing yours. “I’ll do whatever it takes, Y/N. I’ll prove to you that I’m worth another chance.”

The two of you stood there for a while longer, just holding each other, as the sun began to dip below the horizon. The tension between you seemed to have eased, and for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful about your future with Mingyu.

Later that evening, as the group gathered for dinner, the atmosphere was noticeably lighter. Mingyu stayed close to you, his hand often finding yours under the table, offering silent reassurance.

Seungcheol gave you a knowing smile from across the table, and you returned it with a nod of gratitude. You could see that he genuinely wanted what was best for you, even if it meant stepping aside.

Angela, too, was supportive. She squeezed your hand when she had the chance and whispered, “I’m glad you two are talking things out. You deserve to be happy.”

As the night went on, the tension between you and Mingyu continued to thaw. You found yourself laughing at his jokes, and he was more attentive than ever, making sure you were comfortable and cared for.

Eventually, the group dispersed, heading to their respective rooms. When it was time for bed, you found yourself hesitating. The choice between Seungcheol and Mingyu was still there, but this time, it felt different.

Mingyu watched you, his expression open and hopeful. “I know we’re not back together yet, but… would you like to share a bed tonight? Just to talk, I mean.”

You considered his offer for a moment, then nodded. “Okay, but just to talk.”

He smiled, clearly relieved. “Just to talk.”

The two of you headed to the room, and as you settled into bed, you felt a strange sense of peace. There was still a long road ahead, and you weren’t sure where it would lead, but you were willing to walk it together, one step at a time.

Mingyu wrapped an arm around you, pulling you close. “Goodnight, Y/N,” he whispered, his voice filled with warmth.

“Goodnight, Gyu,” you replied, closing your eyes and allowing yourself to drift off, feeling safe and hopeful in his embrace.

The next two days were uneventful. You played games, danced, and slept. During this time, you and Mingyu grew even closer, often spending time together in the pool and frequently ending up making out.

For the party tonight, you wore a leather lingerie set paired with heels, while Mingyu sported tight shorts and a collar—a sight you never knew you needed. Mingyu was standing with some of the guys, talking about football, while you danced around with Angela and Larissa

“So, Y/N, will you and Mingyu date again, or is this just a fling?” Angela asked, taking a sip from her cup.

“I think we’re on the right path to start over,” you replied dreamily. “I loved Mingyu—I still do. We’re just a good match. I couldn’t let any other man get close to me, and I’ve always craved him.”

“Do you think another ex will show up?” Larissa asked.

“Hopefully not,” you replied with a slight blush. “As far as I know, I was his first and only girlfriend.”

“You two are so cute. I’m rooting for you,” Angela said, grinning widely.

Suddenly, you felt two arms wrap around you and soft kisses on your shoulder. “You two are disgustingly cute,” Angela joked, pretending to gag. You giggled, and Larissa muttered, “I need to get some dick right now,” before rushing off towards Josh.

You turned around to face Mingyu. “You look so good in this,” he whispered, kissing you.

“Mhm, you too,” you giggled, gently tugging on his collar.

“If we keep making out, I’m going to die of blue balls, baby,” he whispered in your ear, making you blush. You took his hand. “Let’s fix that.”

You both walked into the private suite and locked the door behind you. The hunger for each other was undeniable. Hovering over him, you kissed along his abs. “You’ve been working out a lot,” you murmured, pulling down his tight pants, revealing his hardened dick.

“Needed something to clear my head,” he groaned as you kissed his tip. “You drive me crazy,” he said, his hands tangling in your hair.

You quickened your pace, and deep moans escaped his lips as you worked your magic.

When Mingyu began pounding into you from behind, the sounds of your mixed moans filled the room. “God, I missed your pussy,” he groaned, and you let out breathless whimpers.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he praised, knowing it was your weakness. He pulled your hair, bending over you, slowly choking you from behind as you reached your high. You lost control completely, your entire body shaking. Shortly after, you felt Mingyu spurting his cum onto your back, both of you breathing heavily.

Mingyu cleaned you up and lay down next to you, whispering loving words until you both fell asleep.

“Y/N, please come to the news box, and Mingyu, you’ll need to go to the beach,” the robotic voice instructed. You looked at him, concerned. “Why the beach? Isn’t that just for ex-girlfriends?” Suddenly, Mingyu looked guilty, and you realized something. “Were you in a relationship after me?” He tried to explain, but he had to go to the beach, leaving you bitter as you walked into the interview room.

Inside, there was a small envelope.

’Y/N, It seems your Mingyu wasn’t entirely honest with you. She never stood a chance?’

You read the lines and gasped. What was that supposed to mean?

“Y/N!!” Angela screamed as you exited the room. You looked towards the stairs leading to the beach, and all the color drained from your face. “No, no, NO!” you said in desperation and panic.

Mingyu walked up the stairs with Somi by his side. They were talking, and Mingyu appeared angry, but you couldn’t register anything. Your ears were ringing like crazy.

“Y/N, breathe, okay?” Seungcheol rushed to your side, and you leaned against him. “He told me she never stood a chance,” you whispered. When Mingyu saw you, he rushed over.

But he did not get the chance to get closer.

“Mingyu, please introduce the new guest,” the robotic voice prompted. Mingyu sighed.

“Guys, this is Somi. We’ve been friends since I was thirteen, and we dated for two months,” he said, sounding ashamed.

“When?” was all you could ask.

“Baby,” he whispered.

“WHEN?” you screamed, and everyone gasped.

“One month after our breakup,” he admitted quietly. Tears stung your eyes. “Wow, you replaced me quicker than I thought” you let out a bitter laugh.

“Please, let me explain,” he pleaded, but you shook your head. “No, I don’t want to hear it,” you said, rushing into the room. You locked the door, trying to forget the pain.

Mingyu knew he had messed up. He hadn’t considered the possibility of Somi showing up. “Should we get a drink?” Somi asked, batting her eyelashes.

“Not in the mood right now,” he muttered, walking away.

As you stood in the bathroom applying skincare, Somi walked in. “Hi, Y/N, long time no see. How are you?” she asked with a fake smile. You rolled your eyes.

“Save your fake kindness, Somi,” you spat, and she laughed.

“Oh, poor pathetic Y/N. I always told you he wanted me. He chose me after the breakup. He believed me. All those nights he thought you cheated, but it was just a really good edit,” she said, flicking her hair.

“Mingyu is mine, Y/N, and everything shows it. In those two months, he fucked me so good. He even told me I’m the best he ever had,” she taunted. You stared at her, speechless. “And you know what? A week before this show, we hooked up in your old bed,” she smirked.

You pushed past her. “Aren’t you ashamed? This show will be seen by everyone, and you say such things? It’s disgusting and cheap. If he wants yo, fine. At least I’m not a manipulative hoe.”

You slammed the door shut and started packing your suitcase. You changed into biker shorts and a large shirt, grabbed your things, and rushed downstairs where the others were gathered. Mingyu was sitting by the water.

His Shoulders slumped and his head hanging low, like he was ashamed of all this.

“Y/N, what are you doing with your suitcase?” Seungcheol asked, and Mingyu quickly came over. “What’s going on?” he asked, panicking.

“I’m leaving. I thought I could handle this, but it’s not my world. I’m grateful for this experience, especially for you, Cheol, and you, Angi,” you said with tears in your eyes. “But it just hurts too much to find out the person you loved for seven years replaced you with someone he told you not to worry about.” You looked at Mingyu. “This was the final straw.”

Angi let out a sob and you hugged her softly.

“Let me take this,” Cheol said, taking the suitcase and your bag.

“It’s better this way. You don’t deserve this,” Angi said, hugging you tightly. Mingyu could only hold your hand. “Please, let’s talk. I should have told you,” he sobbed.

“Let go,” you whispered.

“I love you, Y/N,” he pleaded.

You shrugged. “If you loved me, you wouldn’t have dated her—the woman who never stood a chance,” you said bitterly. “Goodbye, Mingyu.”

And with that, your journey on “Ex on the Beach” was over.

Two days later, you were back at your father’s small restaurant, helping out on a busy night. Two waitresses had called in sick, so you came directly from the airport to assist, jet lag and all.

You felt tired and your limbs were hurting.

“Two Caesar salads for table two,” you called out before going to greet the next customer. As you looked into familiar brown eyes, you felt like screaming. “Mingyu? How? What about the show?” you stammered.

“I left after you did. I really meant it when I said I love you. Yes, I dated Somi, but there was barely even a kiss. I couldn’t. I never touched her because I only wanted you. I ended it with her because I couldn’t give her what she wanted,” he rambled, catching you completely off guard.

“But she told me you two had sex and that you wanted her,” you said, confused.

“No, I couldn’t. You’re the one I want,” he said sincerely, and you smiled slightly.

“I’d really like to kiss you, but you know what?” you giggled. “Get an apron from the back and help me out here.”

“Of course,” Mingyu rushed to the back, where you could see your dad hugging him tightly. They had always been close—Mingyu was like part of your family. When the two of you broke up, your family couldn’t believe it.

The two of you used to help your dad out a lot back in your school days.

After the shift ended, you were happy to grab your things. “Can I drive you home?” Mingyu asked, and you nodded. “I think we should talk,” you said, saying goodbye to your dad and following Mingyu.

The ride home wasn’t awkward at all. Both of you were just happy to have some peace at the moment. You unlocked the door, and Mingyu followed you inside. “Your apartment is really pretty. It feels so homey,” he said, looking around.

"I really tried to make it feel like home. I loved our old apartment so much that finding a new one was incredibly difficult,” you confessed, your voice tinged with the emotions you had been holding back for so long. Your eyes fell to the floor, unable to meet his gaze as the memories of what you had lost resurfaced.

Mingyu leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees as he listened intently. “I never moved out,” he admitted softly, his voice filled with the weight of his own regrets. “I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Every day, I hoped that one day you’d come back, and we could try again.” He looked up at you, his eyes reflecting a deep vulnerability that you hadn’t seen in years.

“Did you date Somi because of me?” The question slipped out before you could stop it, your need for understanding outweighing your fear of the answer. The thought of him with someone else had gnawed at you ever since she showed up.

Mingyu sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It wasn’t because of you, Y/N,” he began, his voice steady but laced with guilt. “After you left, I was lost. When Somi came around, I thought I could move on, that maybe it was time to let go. But I couldn’t. After everything she said on the show, I felt sick to my stomach. She played me—none of it was true. Like I said, we never had sex. I never even wanted to. Every time I was with her, all I could think about was you.”

His words hung in the air, a mixture of pain and sincerity that made your heart ache. You could see how much he regretted his actions, how much he wished he could take it all back. But the hurt was still fresh, the wound still raw.

“I don’t know if I can just forget everything,” you said quietly, your voice trembling as you tried to keep your emotions in check. “We’ve just found each other again, and then this happened. It’s like… I’m afraid to trust you.”

Mingyu reached out and gently took your hand, his thumb brushing over your knuckles in a soothing motion. “I understand, Y/N. I know I messed up, and I’m so sorry. But I love you. I’ve always loved you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right, to rebuild the trust we lost. Just… please, don’t give up on us.”

You looked into his eyes, searching for any hint of deceit but finding only genuine remorse and the deep love you knew he still held for you. Despite the hurt, despite the betrayal, you couldn’t deny that a part of you still loved him too—loved him enough to want to try again.

“Let’s talk,” you finally said, your voice barely above a whisper, your heart heavy with the weight of your decision. “But first… let’s have that kiss.”

Mingyu’s eyes softened, relief flooding through him as he leaned in slowly, as if afraid you might change your mind. But you didn’t. You met him halfway, your lips finding his in a tender kiss that spoke of all the unspoken words between you—words of regret, forgiveness, and the hope for a second chance.

The kiss was everything you had missed and more. It was familiar yet new, filled with the promise of a fresh start. When you finally pulled back, both of you were breathing heavily, your foreheads resting against each other as you savored the moment.

“I’m not letting you go again,” Mingyu whispered, his voice thick with emotion as he cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing your cheeks.

You smiled softly, feeling a warmth spread through you that you hadn’t felt in a long time. “Me neither,” you whispered back, your heart finally beginning to heal.

The two of you sat there for a moment longer, just holding each other, letting the silence speak for you. It wasn’t going to be easy; you both knew that. But for the first time in a long time, you felt hopeful. You were ready to face whatever challenges life would bring, together.

„The production team just let you go?“ you asked while taking a bite off your toasted waffle.

„They agreed that you actually were my perfect match and they said this gave the show some drama“ he chuckled.

„Well I can happily let the drama go, I don’t need it“ you admitted laughing.

„No more drama, no more ex on the beach“

And so, their journey on “Ex on the Beach” came full circle, leading them back to where they truly belonged—wrapped in each other’s arms, ready to rebuild the love they had once lost and face the future with newfound strength.

[alotofpockets]

The newest member | Alessia Russo

Pairing: Alessia Russo x Pregnant!Reader

Summary: Alessia being extra protective of you during your pregnancy.

Masterlist | Woso masterlist | words: 1k

Over the years you had grown to love how protective Alessia was over you. She showed her protectiveness even in the smallest of ways, it had always made you feel safe and loved. Ever since the two of you found out that you were pregnant with your first baby, her protectiveness evolved. 

It started out very sweet, making sure she got you everything you needed, taking control of the conversation when the questions were getting too much for you, and setting up all the doctors appointments so that you didn’t have to worry about it. But as your pregnancy progressed, her protectiveness grew with it. You had mixed feelings over the new found protectiveness. 

There were the ways that you were grateful for, like telling strangers to back up when they reached their hands out to touch your belly without permission, or making sure that she grabbed everything you needed for your wide range of cravings from the store. But there were also ways that could be rather annoying at times. The further along you got into your pregnancy the less she let you do on your own. 

In your third trimester her biggest form of protectiveness was that she had taken the no heavy lifting advice that the doctor gave you as you not being allowed to lift anything. Which often led to frustration from your end. “Less, come on. There are literally two baby onesies in here, I think I can handle that on my own.” You roll your eyes at your wife as she takes the bag from your hands anyways.

In your fourth trimester she wouldn’t let you be home alone, ever. Having your wife around so much was great. She would read to the baby, make you food, and she gave you the lots of cuddles. But when she would leave to go to practice, she would have someone babysit you, which was less fun. She never called it babysitting, of course, but whenever she had to go another person randomly showed up on your doorstep. Whether it was her mom, a friend, or a teammate, there was always someone there. Luckily for you, the people she sent to babysit you never acted like that was why they were there. 

While usually Alessia’s antics of having someone practically babysit you were pretty annoying, today you were grateful to have someone around. Viv was with you today, she was still out because of her ACL injury, and therefore she wasn't joining the rest of the Arsenal girls for training just yet. You were in the kitchen, getting a glass of water, while Viv was sitting on the couch. “Viv, get in here.” You yell out. Viv hears the worry in your voice and is quick to her feet. “What’s wrong?” She asks, matching your worried tone. “My water just broke.” Viv moves to your side and grabs your arm to support you, “Okay, let’s get you to the hospital then.” She leads you to the front door, she scoops up the hospital bag that Alessia had placed next to the front door a couple of weeks ago, “Just in case.” she kept saying. While you settle in the car, she gives a quick call to Jonas. 

At the training field Jonas hangs up the call and heads over to the team again. “Girls, can I have everyone’s attention please.” He calls over and everyone jogs in his direction. “I thought I’d get everyone together for this announcement because I just got a call that is rather exciting.” The team has their full attention on their coach. “Alessia, your wife is in labor. Viv is driving her to the hospital as we speak.” Alessia stood in shock until her teammates start patting her on the back, and hugging her. “What are you waiting for Russo? Let’s go.” Katie says once her teammates are done hugging her. “I’ll drive.” Beth announced, rushing to the locker room to grab her keys.

You hear a knock on your hospital room door, Viv gets up and opens the door for your new guests. Alessia is immediately by your side and takes your hand in hers, “How are you feeling, baby?” She asks as she places soft kisses to your forehead. “At the moment I am mostly excited to meet this little girl.” You share.

When it was time for the delivery, Alessia ushered everyone out of the room. Over the years these girls had become your family but this was a moment you did not want them present at. Alessia stayed by your side the whole time, helping you do your breathing exercises, holding your hand, being supportive, and praising you for how well you were doing. The delivery was very hard but all was forgotten the second you got to hold your baby girl. Alessia asked one of the nurses to snap a few pictures, and enjoyed the moment of meeting your little girl for the first time. 

Once the doctors and you said visitors were okay, Alessia went to the waiting room where Viv, Beth, and Katie were very impatiently waiting. “Ready to meet our healthy baby girl?” She asked as she watches everyone get up full of excitement. They follow her in the room. You don’t think you’ve ever heard them be so quiet before. “You're allowed to make noice, you know?” Effectively pulling them out of their trances. Alessia picks up the baby from the little crib, and walks towards her teammates. “These are your aunties.” The girls huddle around the newborn, admiring the little girl. 

When it was time to take your little girl home, you dressed her up in the baby Arsenal jersey that Alessia got from the team. Your wife snaps a picture and sends it to the Arsenal group chat with the caption, ‘Meet the newest member of the team’. 

You enjoyed your first day at home with the newest member of your family with just the two of you. Letting family and friends know that both mom and baby were doing great, and setting up times for them to meet your little girl.

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[adascore]

The Golden War

pairings: alexia putellas x lyonnais!reader

warnings: swearing. for culers the ‘22 uwcl final ig. jona is kinda mean in this.

author’s note: this is the same reader from my ‘one for the money, two for the show’ fic of the lionesses!captain. reader is basically ada hegerberg lolsies :) will be turned into a series.

masterlist

•••••

Turin, Italy - May, 2022

''The final has been dubbed as a duel between you and Alexia Putellas, do you experience it as that?''

The Lyon captain fought the urge to roll her eyes at the question, despite having expected it. ''It is a final between Barcelona and Lyon, nothing more than that.'' She answered, diplomatically- the way they had rehearsed it.

''Lyon is the underdog coming into this final- FC Barcelona has been unbeatable so far. What do you need to do in order to beat them tomorrow?'' Another reporter asked, a pen ready in his hand to take notes.

There was a slight change in her expression as the question left his lips, the man succeeding in poking through her stoic expression. ''Well, we have never lost to Barcelona- I don't know if you remember 3 years ago or even last year,''

Lyon had comfortably beaten the Spanish club in 2019. In that Champions League Final, Y/N had become the first player to score a hattrick in a UWCL final. Their last meeting had been in 2021, in the pre-season, where Lyon had won 3-2, the Lyon captain again putting one in the net.

''We have won this competition many times. There was football before Barcelona, and it was being played by us.''

Her last sentence of the quote had struck a nerve with the Barça captain.

''She acts like she has already won the whole thing.'' Alexia remarked as she read a transcript of the press conference.

Patri and Mapi glanced at one another, a knowing look in their eyes. ''Technically, there is nothing wrong about what she said, Ale. How many times has she won this competition now? 6? 7?'' The defender said, not having a problem with the opposition's words.

''She's just pissed that everyone is talking about us now.'' She ignored Mapi, continuing berating her opponent.

The rivalry between the captains of the two top teams had been something made up by the media, seeking a female counterpart to the famed Ronaldo-Messi rivalry. Both Alexia and Y/N led Europe's premier clubs, won the Champions League, captained their national teams, and earned the Ballon d'Or. This fueled incessant comparisons.

Alexia and Y/N hadn't given it much thought at first. There were also many differences between them; Alexia is a midfielder, while Y/N is a striker. Despite their similar ages, their careers took diverse paths. Alexia remained in the Spanish league, while Y/N gained experience across various countries.

Over time, an unexpected shift occurred. They began caring about each other's achievements. Yet, they knew the comparison wasn't fair.

Despite being younger, Y/N dominated women's football for longer, winning the Champions League seven times – twice with Wolfsburg and five times with Lyon. In contrast, Alexia secured one with Barcelona. Neither had won anything major with their national teams, though she had come close with England a few times. Furthermore, on the accolades side of things, Y/N led with a repertoire that most players could only dream of.

For a long time, it hadn't bothered Alexia. She had watched in admiration as the younger player became the first recipient of the Ballon d'Or, a huge step in women's football. Y/N's advocacy for the sport also didn't escape the Spanish player.

However, her admiration had turned into envy.

The turning point came in the 2019 final against Lyon. She had observed the way the English striker had celebrated with her entire team- how the Lyon squad immediately ran to her once the whistle blew and how Y/N bathed in all the (rightly deserved) glory. Alexia wanted that for herself. For years, Y/N had been the nail in Barcelona's coffin, scoring the goals that made sure they couldn't continue in the competition- in the captain's opinion, the striker had made a joke of her team for years, even if she didn't meant to do that.

Their interactions over the years were limited to polite handshakes before or after matches. Occasional encounters outside the pitch were rare and brief, seldom extending beyond a few sentences.

Alexia's surprise peaked when Y/N congratulated her on winning the Ballon d'Or through both private and public Instagram messages. Despite her reservations about comparisons and rivalry, receiving praise from someone she admired as one of the best in the game left Alexia with a positive feeling.

''No, I think she's just not a fan of being referred to as an underdog.'' Patri defended the Lyon striker.

This explanation didn't sit well with Alexia, evident from the displeasure on her face. ''Whatever,'' she retorted, looking forward to settling matters on the field that Saturday.

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Excitement, adrenaline, nerves, and tension permeated the tunnel of Juventus Stadium as Alexia, tightly gripping her pennant, stood at the front of her lined-up team, awaiting the opposing captain.

The sudden hush among the Barcelona team signaled the arrival of their counterpart. Turning around, Alexia frowned at her teammates' fascination with the approaching striker.

This is not the time to be fangirling, she thought to herself, as she saw most of her players' eyes following the striker's figure.

As the two top players faced each other, uncertainty lingered about whether they should exchange greetings. Y/N broke the silence, deciding to offer some acknowledgment. ''Hey, you alright?'' Her charming English accent filled the air.

''Yeah, and you?'' Alexia almost cringed at her own quick response, not giving her brain time to think.

''I‘ll see in about 90 minutes.'' The younger one grinned.

I'll wipe that smirk off your fucking face, Alexia said in her mind, not a fan of the confidence the striker was oozing.

Ten minutes later, the referee blew the whistle, signaling the start of the highly-anticipated final.

Lyon applied intense pressure right from the start, managing to create two goal-scoring opportunities within the first three minutes of the match.

However, the audience were offered their first initial glimpse of the rivalry in the 6th minute of the game.

Y/N positioned herself strategically, eyes fixed on her teammate readying a precise pass to her. The ball zipped across the pitch, and in a heartbeat, both Y/N and Alexia were locked onto winning it for themselves.

The striker, a master of timing, surged forward. Simultaneously, the midfielder closed in on the target. The collision was inevitable.

Both players fell with a thud, groaning at the contact with the ground. Despite the force of the clash, they both showed resilience as they wanted to use the momentum to their advantage.

They were momentarily entangled, fighting for control of the ball. It was a brief display of the rivalry that had brewed between them.

Y/N rose swiftly from the turf, eyes filled with determination. The collision had only fueled her competitive fire. With the ball firmly at her feet, she accelerated away from the mess, leaving Alexia behind.

The crowd erupted in gasps and cheers as Y/N, now in open space, scanned the field. Seizing the opportunity, she unleashed a powerful strike from well outside the box.

Time seemed to slow as the ball sailed towards the goal. Panos's desperate dive was in vain as the ball found the back of the net. The roar of the crowd echoed through the stadium, a symphony of cheers and applause for a goal that showcased the skills and spirit of the Lyon captain.

A fleeting scowl crossed Alexia's face, frustrated at the missed opportunity.

Y/N turned on her heels as the net rippled, ready to embrace her teammates who were rushing to her.

''Vamos!'' She roared, the Spanish word escaping her lips like a battle cry.

Yet, she found herself face-to-face not with the familiar sight of Lyon jerseys but with the intensity of Alexia's determined gaze.

Her expression froze for a quick second, confusion adorning her features. Y/N's eyes widened in realization, and for a brief instant, the two captains locked eyes in an unspoken exchange.

The celebration continued around them, teammates engulfing Y/N as they screamed with delight at their captain's prolific opener. The air was filled with jubilation, but within the chaos, the tension lingered between the two captains, adding an intriguing layer to the unfolding drama on the pitch.

The match unfolded further, Barcelona grabbing a few opportunities of their own, but not being clinical enough to score an equalizer. The Spanish squad remained calm, showing no signs of panic in their play, despite being behind.

Selma and Melvine played a great one-two with each other, and the young defender shot a beautiful cross towards the box. Anticipating the trajectory of the ball, Y/N skillfully pulled away from Leon, who undoubtedly had the impossible task of marking the striker.

The ball connected with Y/N's forehead, falling perfectly into the mesh. The scoreboard illuminated with Lyon 2, Barcelona 0. The narrative had shifted as the favorites stomped the ground in frustration, while the ''underdogs'' celebrated another goal from their captain.

The first half flew by. Y/N managed to assist Catarina to make it 3-0, but Alexia found the back of the net to get one back.

3-1.

The second half saw more scoring opportunities for Barcelona, but no one managed to finish the job.

After contact with Martens, Griedge cited experiencing a cramp and asked for treatment- a request that the Barcelona side was not having. Y/N, understanding the frustration of time-wasting, especially when behind in a match, stood aside.

However, the Lyon captain didn't appreciate the scolding she received from the opposition's coach. ''Tell your player to stop the comedy, what a shit job!'' Jonatan exclaimed to the English captain, who observed the scene from the sideline.

Y/N didn't budge, paying him no attention, knowing it was all tactics. She gave an unimpressed look toward the referee, who had been observing the one-sided interaction.

The official ran up to them, pulling a yellow card from her pocket and holding it in front of the manager. ''Step back, please. Don't talk to the opposition.'' she instructed him.

The match eventually resumed. In extra time, Paredes almost managed to pull off a header, but it went flying over the post.

In the last minute of the game, Y/N teamed up with Eugénie to score a last-minute beauty, but the volley slammed against the post.

The piercing sound of the referee's whistle resonated through the stadium, marking the conclusion of the final. Lyon emerged triumphant for a record-extending 8th time.

Overwhelmed by her own emotions, Y/N fell to the ground as the whistle echoed in her ears. It didn't take too long for her teammates to rush up to her, colliding in a chaos of hugs, kisses, and jubilant shouts.

They had done it again, proving once more why all the records were tied to their name.

''Y/N, you're a fucking legend!'' Lindsey yelled in her ear, kissing her cheek multiple times.

As her teammates slowly got up from their celebratory cuddle with the ground, they formed a protective circle around their captain. Hands reached out to help her rise from the grass, and she found herself enveloped in a symphony of gratitude.

Eventually, she shook off her glorious daze, a wide grin etched on her face.

Y/N turned her attention to the defeated Barcelona players, spread out across the field with tears and disappointment staining their cheeks. She approached them, offering a helping hand to those still on the ground and sharing comforting words. Acknowledging the effort they had brought, she assured them that they gave her team a greater fight than the scoreline implied.

Before the Lyon squad embarked on their victory lap to greet the traveling supporters, Y/N's gaze fell on a heartbreaking scene. Across the field, the Spanish captain, Alexia, was cradled in a comforting embrace by a Barcelona staff member as tears streamed down her face.

Y/N hesitated, caught in a ''should I or shouldn't I'' moment with herself.

She chose to make an attempt to resolve whatever tension had built up between them.

Tears glistened on Alexia's cheeks, a testament to the intensity of the match and the dreams left unfulfilled. The Barcelona staff member, offering solace in the face of defeat, glanced up as Y/N approached, and let go of her.

''Alexia,'' Y/N greeted her softly, putting her arm around the Spaniard, ''thank you for the great battle.'' She hadn't prepared what to say, because what do you say against someone you feel like you are supposed to hate? What do you say against someone you've been constantly compared to for over a year?

To the striker's surprise, Alexia reciprocated, feeling an arm on her lower-back. ''Congratulations, you deserved the win. You played phenomenal.'' The midfielder told her, a forced yet genuine small smile making a way onto her face.

''Don't let this hurt you. You are literally one of the best players I have played against- your team is amazing. Use this, like in 2019.'' Y/N advised her, not particularly caring if the opposing player would take it or not.

''We will. I hope we can play many more finals. You make me- you make us grow.'' Alexia stuttered.

Y/N nodded. ''I hope so too. It's been fascinating to see the growth you guys have made these last years.''

The stadium now bore witness to a quieter exchange between the two captains. Almost every camera lens and watchful eye fixated on them.

As Y/N and Alexia exchanged words of mutual respect, their moment of shared understanding was abruptly disrupted by the Barcelona coach.

''Congratulations on the win, Y/N.'' He acknowledged briskly, his gaze quickly turning toward Alexia. His extended hand to her seemed more like a formality, but Y/N accepted it.

Almost forcibly, he placed a hand on Alexia's shoulder, a non-verbal cue that spoke volumes. ''Come on.'' He declared, his tone leaving little room for negotiation and they were off to wherever he needed her to be.

Alexia casted an immediate glance back at Y/N, a mix of emotions played across her face- gratitude for the moment, and frustration at its abrupt end. She hadn't responded to her words yet.

As the Spaniard was led away, Y/N's eyes lingered on the departing figure, a tinge of melancholy in her gaze.

The brief encounter had sparked a momentary connection- a bridge attempting to break through the perceived rivalry and show praise for a strong opponent. However, Jonatan's swift intervention acted like a pair of scissors, cutting through the threads that held that connection.

In Y/N's mind, Alexia had seemed appreciative of the opportunity to have a genuine conversation. She figured there must have been a good reason for her to have been pulled away like that, especially by the head coach.

The Barcelona captain had reacted with a hint of irritation when her coach suggested to the Lyon player to remove her arm from Alexia's shoulder. She tried asking Jonatan why he had coaxed her away, but she didn't receive a proper answer.

The whole thing had left a bitter taste in her mouth. The potential for a more extended, sincere exchange was cut short, leaving Alexia with lingering frustration. There was a desire to understand Y/N beyond the competition, but it was cut short.

She hoped her last glance had worked as a silent acknowledgment of what could have been.

[wosoamazing]

Pregnant

Summary: Katie and Caitlin are pregnant.

Warnings: Morning Sickness (throwing up), negative tests, pregnancy.

A/N: This is the first fic in the new McFoord Baby Series, its not the best, in my opinion (but they do get better). I hope you like it, I have some other stories in the works for this, but if there is anything you would like to see in this series let me know.

“Katie, are you sure you want to do this?” Caitlin asked her as they stood in the kitchen preparing for their first step to being Mums. Katie just nodded, keeping her eyes closed, she hated needles like really hated needles. Caitlin gave the injection to Katie and then wrapped her arms around her.

“That’s it, that's the first step, we might get to be Mum’s” She said, placing a kiss on Katie's lips. “I’m so excited”

_____

The next month Katie was moody, getting mad more often than usual, receiving a yellow card in almost every game. Jonas pulled Katie into a meeting about her behaviour and that's when he found out they were trying for a baby, he forgave Katie but told her to try and control her temper.

_____

Egg Retrieval Day and Transfer Day had been successful, which is what had led them here, standing in the bathroom, waiting for the timer to go off, to see if they were pregnant or not.

“This is so painful, why do they take so long,” almost as if the universe had heard Katie the timer went off, the two giddy women quickly flipped over the three pregnancy tests, immediately the mood in the room dropped, all three were negative. 

“I’m sorry,” Katie said before she burst into tears, Caitlin quickly wrapped her arms around her and held her tight.

“There is nothing to be sorry for, this isn’t your fault, and anyway, it's rare for it to work on the first try, Mini told us that remember, we can try again, but only if you want to.”

Try again was exactly what they did, which is how they found themselves sitting in the Kitchen, of Mini’s apartment, Katie had been feeling unwell for the past few days but she couldn’t bring herself to do a test, especially considering when the IVF clinic did the blood test two weeks after the transfer it was negative, they decided to not start another cycle straight away, deciding to go on international break and then talk about how they felt and the steps forward. There was not really any chance at all that Katie could be pregnant, and even though they both knew the pregnancy tests would be negative. They both still couldn't bear to flip another set of pregnancy tests for them to be negative, joining the other four negative sets. However Mini told them to just do one, that mistakes can happen sometimes and sometimes the blood tests are too early and that it would be better to know for sure rather than just assuming Katie wasn’t pregnant. She even offered to be there for them and find out herself to then tell them, which was an offer they took up, hence why they were in her kitchen. They brought Kyra with them to make it seem less weird as to why they were both visiting. Kyra, Harper and Clara were sitting in the living room.

“You ready?” Mini asked the pair who sat in front of her, they both tentatively nodded. She flipped over the tests and a small smile appeared on her face. “You’re going to be Mum’s” “Wait what,” “Really?” She nodded showing the pair the tests.

“Oh my God, we’re going to be Mum’s Cait,” Katie exclaimed as she pulled Caitlin in for a hug.

The three of them walked out into the living room. “Sad” Harper said as she pointed to the pair, “They’re not sad Harper,” “But crying”

“These are happy tears, Harps,” Caitlin said as she went to sit on the floor with Harper and Kyra.

_____

A few mornings after finding out she was pregnant, Katie found herself feeling very sick, as the pair of them sat on the couch eating breakfast.

“Cait, I’m just going to go to the bathroom real quick,” Katie said as she stood up, walking to the bathroom, Caitlin was a little concerned for Katie as she had been acting differently that morning, she also had been blinking hard which Caitlin had discovered Katie did when she was in pain or unwell, so the Australian decided to follow her into the bathroom. She found Katie leant against the wall next to the toilet, she had her arms wrapped around her stomach, and her knees were pulled into her chest.

“Katie, Babe, it’s just me,” the Australian said before sitting down next to her, Katie’s eyes were shut and she didn't want to startle her, Katie moved closer to Caitlin so that their sides were touching, resting her head on Caitlin’s shoulder, who moved to put one arm around Katie, “What’s going on?”

“I feel like I’m going to throw up. I hate throwing up, I don’t want to be sick, Cait.” Caitlin started to move her thumb against Katie’s arm, in a gesture of comfort, placing a kiss to the top of her head.

“It’s okay, I know you don’t like it, but I’m here, and if you ever feel this way please tell me, I’ll come and just sit here with you. We’re going to get through this together okay.”

The pair sat there for ten minutes before Caitlin spoke again, “How bout we get ready for training and head off, maybe some fresh air will help.”

They were standing in the locker room talking to their friends when Caitlin saw Katie's demeanour change, it was ever so subtle and no one else would have noticed but it was something Caitlin could’ve spotted from a mile away. She walked up to Katie and wrapped her arms around her waist giving her a hug from behind before whispering in her ear “Let’s go to the bathroom.” 

Katie followed Caitlin into the bathroom, they both walked into a stall and locked the door before finding themselves in essentially the same positions as they were in at home, except the only difference was this time after a few minutes Katie threw up, Caitlin rubbed her back as she did, saying encouraging words to her whilst she also messaged someone on her phone.

Katie stopped throwing up, and returned to her previous position, “Do you feel any better?” “A little bit”

They both heard footsteps as someone entered the toilets “Cait you messaged?” It was Steph, Katie’s eyes grew in panic, Caitlin held her tighter as she explained “It’s okay, it's just Steph, she knew we were trying, she found me one day after a negative and I was having a moment, I explained to her. She won't tell anyone, and she doesn't know about this yet. I just need to go and talk to Jonas quickly, she will stay with you, she is good, don’t worry”

Caitlin stood up and walked out of the cubical, “Can you just look after Katie for me quickly? I’m just going to go talk to Jonas, I’ll explain later.” 

Caitlin came back from talking to Jonas to find Steph and Katie sitting in the locker room.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise the girls had gone out, thank you for looking after her though, but you can go out now, it's all good”

“No its no problem I’ll wait for you”

“Katie, Babe, I spoke to Jonas and we both agree that you shouldn’t do any training today, he said we could go home if we needed but I didn't think you would want to go home, so he suggested that you could lie down for a bit on one of the physio beds or that you could sit off to the side and watch training. It’s up to you, but if you do want to go home I can take you home, that isn’t a problem”

“No, I want to stay, could I maybe go lie down?” “That sounds like a good idea, do you want me to take you down, or-” “No it's all good, I’ll go myself, love you.” “Love you too babe.”

“So I hear congratulations are in order” Steph said as she sat next to Caitlin who was tying her boots, “wait did she tell you?” “No, I kind of figured, but I asked and she said yeah. But seriously congratulations, you are both going to be fantastic Mum’s” “Thanks Steph, you ready to head out?” “Yeah. But why don’t you want to talk about it? Is everything okay? You guys have wanted this for so long, I thought you would be more excited” Caitlin let out a heavy sigh, and looked down at her feet.

“Yeah, it's just that, it's been hitting Katie hard, and I just feel so bad. I mean we both wanted this but like-” “Caitlin, its okay to not feel 100% sure about this, it's a big change.” Steph said cutting her fellow Aussie off before pulling her in for a hug.

_____

“Um, so we just had something to tell you all, um well….” Katie said, prompting Caitlin to pull out a mini Arsenal shirt, which had Little Teammate printed on it.

“Oh my god are you having a baby?” “Yeah, expected mid November”

“Congratulations you guys, I didn't know you were trying,” “Thank you, but yeah we didn't tell many people.”

“Oh that's why.” Kyra said a little louder than intended to Alessia causing everyone to look at Kyra who looked like a deer in the headlights, not wanting to reveal what this announcement had just answered.

“Um well….” Kyra stammered.

“Kyra thought Katie was looking fatter than usual.” Alessia threw Kyra under the bus, which caused the Irish women to cry. Kim and Leah directed the team out quickly, to give the two women some space.

“I’m sorry,” Katie said as Caitlin pulled her in for a hug, this was a symptom of her pregnancy Katie hated, maybe even more than the morning sickness, she was so emotional and kept crying.

“You have nothing to apologise for, after all you are growing our daughter.” The two women sent each other beaming smiles, they were going to have a little girl soon.

[samkerrworshipper]

okay i know you’re insanely busy with midterms but just dropping an idea down here… so what if arsenal got a new sign in who was like 17 and still completing school. Reader has just moved to a new city to join the team, new school which arsenal is paying for for them to complete school, and the team is helping reader adjust 🤷🏼‍♀️ i could really see beth and viv being mom types and picking her up from school before training and shit

homework help | arsenal women x reader

v highly requested so thought i’d come through for my hurt, angst and fluff girlies xoxo

this one’s just a short little drabble so enjoy

You hated school.

You hated every single part of it.

But you were fairly certain you’d never hated it more in your life then right now.

Moving to a completely different country had been enough of a big deal, debuting professionally for Arsenal was a pretty big fucking deal, but no struggle would compare to the one that was trying to do your A-levels. In Australia you were relatively smart, nothing exceptional but you were intelligent enough. Over there though, football had always come first. If you had training, football took precedence, when you had Matilda’s camp, it took precedence, if you felt like you needed rest after a tournament or hard game, it took precedence.

Around when you turned 15 your parents had made the decision to pull you out of highschool, you’d fallen into semi-home school, completely self lead. It had worked for you, you’d never liked being at school, you’d been asked to leave your first high school because of how disruptive you’d been to the classroom environment.

That was why home school had worked so well for you, you trained whenever you wanted and did school when you had a spare minute or two between training and travel.

Part of your contract with Arsenal though, considering your parents were sending you to England by yourself, was that you had to attend traditional school, something that you were not at all happy to do.

You hadn’t attended school in nearly two years, and it didn’t help that you’d never been taught in England, and that you were a troublemaker. Within your first days at your school you’d landed yourself in a fair amount of detentions and had been sent home twice. You’d skipped classes, left to go and get some extra training in, failed to hand in work and got in a fight with a girl. Your teammates were less than impressed, you’d gotten yourself a stern talking to from Caitlin and Steph, a threat that they wouldn’t hesitate to call your parents if you kept it up.

Your behaviour led to some more parameters being set, Beth and or Viv picked you up from school everyday, Leah had been named as the first contact for your principal and you’d made the promise to Jonas that you’d commit to schooling, and prioritise it.

In hindsight it had all been lies, something that you’d told the older women to put a smile on their face. It was a promise that you’d very quickly regretted making.

Today, when you walked out the gates of your school at 3pm, your bag slung over your shoulder and a scowl on your face as you trudged towards Beth’s Mercedes, in a foul mood.

You slung your body into the backseat, ignoring both Viv and Beth who were seated in the front and turning up the music that was blasting in your ears, you didn’t need one of their lectures right now.

You didn’t miss the concerned frowns that the two women sent your way, but you did ignore them, keeping your eyes on the car window as they began to drive, making their way towards the Arsenal training ground.

They knew that to put it lightly you hadn’t been enjoying school, that it was just something you were being forced to do. Most afternoons when they came and collected you, you were in a similar mood, but they’d noticed that the more days you went to school, the worse your mood seemed to get and they couldn’t quite get to the bottom of it.

You weren’t doing well in school, you didn’t understand or hadn’t ever been taught most of what you were learning, and you felt fucking stupid. All you teachers were prepared to turn around and do was tell you that you just needed to work harder, or pay more attention, and you were trying your hardest, but everybody was making you feel like you just weren;t good enough. That was why you’d always enjoyed football so much, because you were so good at it, school was just another thing for you, just another box to tick, especially since you’d made the move to North London.

Today was no different, just another day that you were spending doing something that made you feel so incredibly useless.

Viv passed you your normal after school snack, an iced caramel latte and a salad, food that you would normally hound down, but this time you left it unattended beside you, too busy with your thoughts to even think about eating. It was a clear warning sign for Beth and Viv, who in the four weeks that they’d been picking you up from school had never seen you not eat your after school snack.

“Sweet, is there anything wrong with the food?”

Beth’s voice was soft, tentative from her spot behind the wheel.

“Not feeling like it.”

Beth’s brow furrowed across her forehead, it was unlike you to not eat, food was your favourite thing in the world, something the Arsenal women had very quickly learnt in your short amount of time with them.

“You should eat something, we’ve got a long afternoon at the training ground.”

Training wise you didn’t actually have much on, a casual kick around if you felt like it. But you were reviewing last week's game and having a team bonding night, something that you were not feeling like engaging in.

“I’m fine.”

Your voice was dismissive, and whilst the older women had seen you in some downright filthy moods, something about this interaction was worrying them, you normally weren’t this grumpy after school.

“Did something happen at school Liefje?”

You kept your eyes on the window, watching as you slowly got closer to the training ground.

“Nope.”

You emphasised the p on your lips, hoping that your teammates would get the memo that you weren’t interested in talking about it.

“You know that you could tell us if anything was happening, this is a safe space, if someone is being an ass to you, kids or teachers we’d want you to tell us.”

You rolled your eyes at the window, just praying for a black hole to appear and suck you up.

“I’m not being fucking bullied.”

Your voice was so harsh, harsh enough to silence your teammates for the rest of the car trip.

When you finally did arrive at the training ground you practically jumped out of the car, in record timing hauling yourself and your bag out of the backseat and propelling yourself directly towards the doors of the centre, leaving Beth and Viv watching you from the car, completely curious about what had occurred to make you so grumpy.

You hardly made it two steps into the locker room before you were bombarded by Leah.

“Want to explain to me why I had to spend my afternoon on the phone to your principal?”

Her voice held a fair amount of annoyance, rightfully so, you were annoyed at yourself.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

You walked directly towards your locker, slinging your bag into the cubby and keeping your eyes locked on the wall of your locker so you didn’t have to face Leah.

“Firstly, look at me, we’re having a conversation. Secondly, what in god’s name do you call how you are dressed because I know we aren’t sending you to private school for you to be dressed like that.”

You turned around to look at Leah, she wasn’t wrong, you weren’t exactly dressed presentably. You’re shirt was untucked, and unbuttoned, revealing the lacy bralette and tank top I was wearing underneath, my skirt was also hanging just low enough to cover up my ass, I looked like a schoolgirl from one of the old pornos.

“Tuck your goddamn shirt in and pull your skirt down.”

Leah’s voice was just as harsh as the one you’d used with Viv and Beth a few minutes ago, a taste of your own medicine you supposed. You obliged her request, tucking your shirt in with an eyeroll, and tugging your skirt down far enough that it was sitting at a socially acceptable length.

“Again, want to explain to me why I got to spend an hour on the phone with your principal this afternoon?”

You let your eyes travel down to your feet, which were clad with black leather school shoes. Some of your other teammates had begun to trail into the rooms, Beth, Viv, Kim, Vic, Katie, all of them watching as Leah’s scolding unfolded.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

You said it under your breath, a mere murmur that Leah’s super ears managed to pick up.

“Not that big of a deal? Your failing everything and the amount of behavioural reports you’ve collected is truly impressive.”

It was bad timing that Caitlin happened to walk in as soon as the words left Leah’s mouth.

“You're failing?”

You took a deep breath, biting down on your lip as you looked down at the floor.

“My teachers are being jackasses.”

You fiddled with the hem of your shirt, it was true, in your whole time at the new school not once had any of the teachers offered to help you or explain something to you, all they did was criticise.

“And that’s a good enough excuse to tell one of them to and I quote ‘Go fuck yourself and your mom’ because I don’t think that’s grounds to call a jackass that.”

You were glaring holes into the floor of the rooms, not really sure what to say to Leah.

“All they do is tell me off ‘Y/n, it’s not good enough’, ‘Y/n you don’t pay enough attention’, ‘Y/n, work harder’, I’m trying my best.”

Your words were murmured underneath your breath, the aggression and emotion very clear in the tone of voice you directed at your Vice Captain.

“Y/n, out on the pitch now, go run off whatever this energy is and then come back in here with a new attitude because the one you have right now is piss poor.”

You frowned at Caitlin, but nodded in agreement with her statement, walking over to your locker and quickly changing into your training kit and cleats before heading out of the now silent locker rooms, making your way out onto the pitch and as soon as your feet hit the grass you began to run.

Growing up, football had been your only release, it still was. When you had a bad day, as soon as you stepped out onto the pitch it all disappeared, it all didn’t matter, because you had football, you had the one thing in the world that mattered the very most to you. Recently though, with all of the school bullshit you’d been feeling disconnected from it, feeling disconnected from the part of yourself that had fallen in love with your sport, that part of you had disjointed from your body, too affected by the intense depression that school caused you.

After you’d run your lungs sore you moved to the goals, rolling out 5 balls and placing them all down on the pitch, running around and kicking them at different targets in the goal before collecting them and doing it again. This was what you lived for, quite literally. This had been the positive of moving, the best part, that you were playing at the highest level you possibly could. But a part of it felt so wrong, it wouldn’t have been abnormal for you to have just dropped out when you’d come over, in Australia at least, hell half of your teammates had dropped out at 17 to play for the Matildas, including your closest friend, Ellie, but in England they were hellbent on you completing your education.

You’d practically run yourself silly by the stage you saw a crew of red approach the sideline. You sat down on the grass, tipping your head back to look at the mix of orange and pink washing in a sunburst tie dye across the sky, your lungs burning as they took in the crisp English air.

You tried your hardest to ignore the sound of a series of footsteps crunching against the grass, eventually ceasing when the group got close enough to sit down around you. To their credit they didn’t disturb you until you acknowledged their presence, your eyes falling from the sky to meet Beth’s.

“We want to have an open conversation with you about this, we’ll talk, you will listen and then you can talk and we promise we will listen. We’ve all calmed down, so let’s talk about this properly, yeah?”

You nodded in agreement with Beth, turning your head a little bit to meet Leah’s gaze. The harshness across her facial expression had softened, the intenseness of her face being less jagged and tense.

“We all know that you’ve struggled with adjusting to school, so what’s up?”

You bit down on your lip, the pink tissue being bared down on by your front teeth, this was the point where you could either shake them off or be honest with them.

“I haven’t gone to school in two years, when I was at school I was a troublemaker and when I wasn’t at school I only learnt what was necessary, I educated myself from 15 to now, and I did well enough, taught myself the basics of everything, had Mack and Alanna teach me the important shit. I’m not prepared for this, I’m not smart enough for this and all the teachers want to do is remind me of that, I just can’t focus like they want me to, or sit down and understand what the fuck a parabola is and how it’s relevant to my life. I didn’t want to fail, but I had all of this homework that I didn’t understand so I just put it to the bottom of my priorities pile, and then it was overdue and my teachers were annoyed enough with me so what even was the point? I’m good at football, really fucking good at it. School was never something that I worried about, but now it’s all I can think about and I hate it, I hate every single minute of it.”

You heard Caitlin sigh from her spot beside Beth, she’d had no idea that you’d been struggling so much, sure she was aware that you hadn’t exactly been a school enthusiast but she’d had no clue that you really were having problems.

“Plus, it’s like all everybody is doing is setting me up to fail, my teachers assign me work that they know I’ll never complete, you guys send me to school to try and learn shit that I’ll never understand, school just doesn’t work for me.”

You observed as the group of women’s frowns only deepened further, all of them feeling devastated that you’d been feeling this way and hadn’t told them.

“We aren’t setting you up to fail. We want you to succeed, we just wished that you’d told us about this earlier, we would have found you a tutor, hell any of us would tutor you, and we will from now on. From now on, no more hiding your homework or deciding that you aren’t smart enough to complete it. I’ll talk to your school, if you promise us all that you are going to be on your best behaviour then I’ll talk to your teachers and principals, maybe we can look at getting you some extra help, or a tutor. If it comes to it we’ll look at alternative schooling options, but I think you’re very tough on yourself, it’s understandable that you’d be struggling with this stuff, you’ve only been here for six weeks, you're still grasping the ropes. From now on, every night after school you’re going to bring your homework here and someone will help you with it.We want to see you succeed, y/n, we don’t want you having to go back home because you can’t prove to us that you deserve to be here, because we all know you do, it’s just about putting in the effort and attitude, that’s what we all want to see the most, we can sort out the grades after that, okay?”

You nodded at Leah, feeling a massive weight being pulled off of your shoulders as the older woman smiled at you, opening her arms up to you and you allowing her to wrap them around you. You relaxed into her body almost immediately, finding solace in the warmth and comfort that she provided, she’d really become an older sister to you in so many ways since your move, she was stern and strict for sure, but she also cared a hell of a lot.

You could feel your body beginning to weaken against Leah, the emotions of the past 24 hours starting to really fog your brain.

“Is our little student tired?”

You just groaned into Leah’s body, earning a quiet chuckle from the older woman.

“C’mon kiddo, let’s get you inside and then you can sleep for as long as you’d like.”

You allowed Caitlin and Viv to carry you back to the changerooms, the two women very quickly slipping you into a tracksuit before laying you down on one of the coaches in the communal hangout room. The group was about to leave you to relax before you emailed at them.

“Hugs.”

The group of women snorted at your insistence, Caitlin trailing behind and sitting down on the couch beside you, gently pulling you into her arms and wrapping them around you. She was ready to protect you from anything and everything, whether that was a rogue soccer ball or a nasty teacher.

“Mm sorry Cait.”

Caitlin just smiled down at you, her hands gently working their way through your tresses as she watched your eyes grow even heavier as sleep loomed over you.

“Don’t worry about it chook, we’ve got you now, no more doing it all alone, we’ll help you from here on out, no more fighting every battle, we’ve got you.”

[yellow-dejavu]

It was unexpected for me that Claudia, Jonas, Noah and Elisabeth ended up being the post-apocalypse group, but the four of them fit so well together.

They don't really had screentime together, but I can't stop thinking about the apocalypse family and how much they can relate to each other.

Each one of them lost their naivety when they discovered time travel and learned a little more about the reality of their world, but they lost their innocence when they experienced the reality of their dads death.

Each member of the group carries the guilt for the death of their dads.

Noah literally killed his dad, influenced by sic mundus.

Claudia tried to prevent her dad's death and accidentally caused it.

Jonas was led to believe that he could prevent his dad's suicide when in fact he was the trigger.

Elisabeth was not to blame for her dad dying, but she probably felt guilty that he died trying to protect her.

They were completely broken, and the person who came to comfort them and give them hope was a member of the apocalypse family.

After Bartosz died, Noah told his younger self that he knew how it felt and that the pain of what he had done would pass. Noah knew that wasn't true. It would be a pain he would never forget. Since he was the one who had defined the irony of his dad's fate, it had only become more painful.

Claudia met Jonas for the first time after what happened with Egon, and she realized that she couldn't change things. Jonas appearead and let her know that they could change things. This happened after Jonas had spent a year traveling with an older version of Claudia.

Jonas met Claudia for the first time when he realized that he wasn't there to stop his dad and that his attempt to save him had failed again. At that moment, Claudia came and told Jonas that he could save them all. So Jonas goes to spend a year with Claudia learning about time travel.

After Peter dies, Elisabeth only knows of a place somewhere in the woods where Noah stays, and Noah only knows that he would protect her. In the cave, they find the passage, and Noah tells Elisabeth about paradise. Their connection gave them hope. Even when Noah felt hopeless himself, he only wanted to give Elisabeth hope.

They just tried to give them some comfort. In one of their darkest moments, they were there for each other and tried to never give up hope.

Also everything that losing their moms represented for them.

Silja died when Noah was very young and apparently Bartosz became distant.

When Doris left, Egon started to drink. It was probably at that moment that his relationship with Claudia became colder.

Their relationships with their dads deteriorated when they lost their moms. A disagreement resulted in the death of their dads. Noah and Claudia eventually saw their dads again, but it was a younger version of their dads who didn't yet recognize that version of them as their kid.

I think it is similar with Elisabeth and Jonas.

The first thing Jonas did when he got home was look for his mom, and he couldn't find Hannah. He probably thought he couldn't save his mom just like he couldn't save his dad.

Peter and Elisabeth were still trying to find Franziska and Charlotte, and after months she just thought they were dead. When her father died, I don't think there was any hope of seeing her mother again.

For years, Jonas and Elisabeth probably assumed that their moms had died in the apocalypse. It was unexpected the way they were reunited with their moms, and the revelations that came from it.

This group is so interesting to me because they experienced many years of friendship and then all that was left was betrayal. Although I will never forget all those years of friendship that I never saw.

[woso-dreamzzz]

On the late shift today but I had Tontos ideas to share:

She's so rich. Like so, so rich but nobody knows for ages because she'll always try not to spend much. One time her football boots were falling apart and she delayed buying new ones until the soles literally detached

She was played out of position for most of the Champion's League final because Jona thought that Lyon would struggle with the way she always appears in the right place at the right time so she got put into the midfield

She calls Toast her best friend which is simultaneously cute and heartbreaking but she loves that little lizard so much

She walks silently so it's difficult to hear her coming and so many people have compared her to a ghost

She led the league with the amount of assists she had but somehow managed to get zero goals. Alexia says that she's got to stop being so selfless

She's super smart too which is something her parents are very interested in. She's top of her class and actually picked up Spanish fairly quickly via immersion so her fears about that were unfounded

Her mum is a part owner in the Aston Martin F1 team because she bought it for super cheap and it's proven to generate a fair amount of profit for her so Tontos isn't exactly an unfamiliar face at races and it shocked everyone when she appeared on camera at one of the races while they were watching at home

Before Barcelona, she played for Brann and forged her father's signature on first professional contract