#Jojo i would do ANYTHING for you

[uwemagain]

Sand. Why don't we hook up?

Sand & Nick | Only Friends EP. 9

[vo-kker]

give the horse a keyblade you cowards

[dawnsies]

this is how i imagine giorno being in part 3 would go tbh

bonus:

[cuntstable]

was talking about this with a mutual just now but it really is so funny how dio was such a failure in his god complex at the end of the day that arguably the best lesson he ever taught pucci as his evil mentour was ”ok dont do what i did which basically was just fuck around and do drugs and have sex in my mansion because i got nothing done vis a vis Heaven Plan and ultimately got killed by the joestars” and pucci took that to heart so strongly that instead of becoming another fail slut he turned into a straight edge celibate priest and ended up doing 99.9% of the heaven plan and sucessfully killing all his enemies like LOL

[cowchickenbeefpork]

List of cluster b characters I like

(DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT HAVE ANY CLUSTER B DISORDERS I DO NOT KNOW MORE ABOUT THE DISORDERS THAN DOCTORS OR PEOPLE WITH THEM DO I JUST LIKE LEARNING ABOUT CLUSTER B DISORDERS SINCE I LIKE LEARNING ABOUT MENTAL DISORDERS AND I HAVE FRIENDS WITH CLUSTER B DISORDERS ANYWAYS. DO NOT EXPECT ME TO BE 100% CORRECT I AM NOT THE BEACON OF ALL KNOWLEDGE IF SOMETHING IS OFFENSIVE HERE I WILL APOLOGIZE AND TAKE DOWN THE POST)

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

JoJo Siwa doesn’t deserve all the hate (and homophobia) she’s getting for her style and music; but she does deserve scrutiny for defending Colleen Ballinger and being both active and complicit in abuse that happened on her TV show. Like the girl has been under the public eye in unhealthy environments all her life; cut her some slack — not too much; she’s still a responsible adult — but if you’re going to dogpile her, then at least dogpile her for the right reasons. Jesus Fucking Christ.

[jouta-eggboybeloved]

I miss my son.

(Tags)

[hauntingblue]

Justice for jolyne wdym emporio defeated pucci

[skeletalheartattack]

I went on your blog to see which fictional men you were getting your boobs big for and I immediately saw Zarbon. Very valid

everyday i play back every episode of DBZ with him in it in hopes hes angled a specific way to look at me through the screen and see. like hi sir yeah 🤗✨

honestly im a sucker for a lot of fictional dudes. i just tend to talk about Zarbon alot because he's the whole reason i'm gay the way i am. though i have made a list showing off a lot of other key dudes id get my boobs big for. <- normal thing to say. i should know. im the one who said it. normal normal.

[hyruviandoctor]

I mentioned to my brother that one of my goals this year was to watch more movies and tv shows and he was like "that's wild because that's basically the opposite of everyone else alive's goal" and I think about that a lot

[miss-vanta-likes-to-write]

I'm not over Price's Widow, so I'm subjecting you all to it as well. Continuation to this right here

"Was he alone?" She asked quietly.

"No, we were with him till the end, ma'am." Kyle says softly as he sits next to her. He's turned fully facing her. He wants to cry himself but knows that won't do her any good.

She closes her eyes, her hand clutching onto his hat. Her tears kept falling silently, and she stopped her gut-wrenching, pain filled screams and cries only twenty minutes ago. Kyle can still hear them echoing in his thoughts. Such a mournful sound, it's going to stay with him more than the echoes of gun fire and bombs. Her hand, the one trying to self soothe by rubbing her stomach, is trembling.

Simon is still as statue. He won't come further into the cozy living room. He blames himself for Captain not coming home, and he doesn't feel like he has a right to be here trying to comfort his friend's widow. It doesn't matter if he's told it's not his fault and it doesn't matter that Mrs. Price insisted he could sit down in the living room with them.

JoJo has taken a liking to Soap, and the kid is completely oblivious to the life changing news that was just dropped. Little baby keeps pulling on his mohawk and babbling nonsensical words. It then dawns on all of them, really, that Mrs. Price is going to be raising Jojo and the new baby by herself. She's going to be alone during her pregnancy and suffering through grief and post-partum, a time when she's most vulnerable by herself.

None of them can have that.

Her voice cracks, "I'm glad you were all with him. I know you three were his boys. He talked about you so much, he loved you all so much. If there's anything you need, please let me know."

And the lump in Kyle's throat feels like it's closing up because of course Mrs. Price is a good woman, a doting wife, and cares for the three men who couldn't get their Captain - her husband - help in time. She's offering to look after his team during their time of grief, too, despite being thrown head first into a reality that was talked about but never thought to be a true possibility. He briefly wonders if John told her he'd be back before she could miss him. He knows the cup cakes on the kitchen counter with the pink and blue sprinkles were supposed to be his welcome home present. Captain John Price was supposed to be surprised with news of another baby. The man was robbed of this reality, and his wife left with just his hat and dog tags and the date that his body would be at the morgue.

"Thank you for stopping by." She moves to get up, but her hand is gently grabbed by Kyle's. "Yes?"

"Would you like us to stay for a while?" He asks. He's hoping she lets them stay, even if she only wants them on the front porch the second she becomes angry that they couldn't bring her husband back safely. He doesn't want to leave her alone with Jojo, alone to grieve by herself. They promised they'd take care of her, that promise is the only thing keeping all three of them steady.

So when Mrs. Price nods her head she looks at all of them. "Stay for as long as you need."

[celestialsequels]

couldn’t see me without you, babe ¡! ❞

— synopsis: you’re in love with the it girl of your high school.

— warnings: fluffy, make out session, the most wholesome thing i’ve ever written.

— w/c: 1.9k

— part 2

a/n: credits to @jenctrl for helping me with the kiss scene !

•

digital cameras fluttered with alacrity as she made her way through the bustling hallways. turning everyone's heads without hesitation. her hair bounced with every step she took. she was as gorgeous as a butterfly, so delicate yet capturing everyone’s eye more than anything.

that was yu jimin.

that was the school’s it girl, as you always said. everything about her made your heart turn into mush and your face turn redder than a smooshed cranberry. those quick little glances she’d shoot your way left you a mess. in the midst of the night, she was the only thing encapsulating your dreams, refusing to leave until dawn.

yeonjun was sick of you for always bringing up jimin; he knew how insanely head over heels you were for her. you constantly told him the little details ranging from quick glances to full blown eye contact sessions from across the room. he swore you were crazy the moment you blushed at the note in your locker that said something along the lines of “you left your key in class; here it is.” your mind just knew it was jimin. only yeonjun knew it was the janitor.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“can somebody please tell me when cubism became a revolutionary movement in the history of art?” yeonjun asked the class as you two stood in front of the class to present your done-last-minute-but-looks-good-enough art project.

you scanned around the room hoping somebody would answer since you clearly didn’t know the answer, having only been running the entire day on two cans of red bull. you crossed your arms, zoning out at the giant window while anticipating the smart kid of the class to answer. you tapped your chin trying to remember if you had anything in your mind since you were the one who wrote these questions.

“1907-08,” a voice spoke out of the classroom, breaking you out of your thoughts. you could recognize that voice anywhere. the way you began to giggle had the entire class thinking if you were having a stroke since you weren’t really the type to even smile in art class. your face lighting up as delusions encased themselves in your mind.

“that’s right!” you yelled out faster than yeonjun could utter out a word, scaring the entire class in the process of doing so.

“of course it’s correct. i’m never wrong,” and there she was in all of her glory, leaning on the door frame with a smirk painted on her face.

you coughed out loud as you choked on your saliva from how intensely she was staring at you and only you. yeonjun nudged you with his elbow, subtly telling you to get your act together since you were being too obvious.

“how may i help you jimin?” your art teacher interrupted. since jimin was older than you and a heck ton smarter than you, it was evident that she was adored by every teacher.

“i wanted to borrow a student from your class for an interview. it’s for my psychology project, and i really need them right now,” jimin spoke, still sporting a smirk in your direction as she knew your art teacher would never say no to her. your heart was doing all sorts of things; dancing around like jojo siwa in karma while also moonwalking all the beats through your body. your palms felt sweat pool in the center from how nervous her gaze was making you.

“take your pick, jimin,” your art teacher offered.

“can i take y/n if that wouldn’t be a problem?” her voice was more giddy than the expressions on her face.

you swore the things around you had stopped moving, the only thing you could hear was your blood pumping through your veins, clearly turning your face red. yeonjun stepped on your foot this time causing you to squeak out loud before muttering out a quick “sorry”.

“not a problem at all. y/n, please accompany jimin with her project,” your art teacher smiled internally, noticing how you turned red, but he was hopeful this could be the start of something new. you quickly nodded, almost embarrassingly tripping over the cord of the projector below your feet as you made your way towards jimin. she eyed you up and down hastily, mentally telling you to follow her to wherever she wanted to take you. you kept your head down as your shyness made an awkward entrance, quietly following behind her. she paid no mind to you until you two finally approached the library. jimin stopped suddenly, catching you completely off guard as you walked straight into her back.

“pay attention, pretty girl,” you froze at the endearment, pinching yourself to recollect yourself out of this dream.

you two made your way inside the library after that little moment, finding a cozy spot in the corner. it almost made you feel as if you were on a date with jimin, with the way she tucked your chair in as you sat down. you truly wondered what that would feel like.

“hi,” you managed to say despite the fact that you were out of breath by just being in her presence. you were oddly confused as you realized she didn’t have her notes with her for the interview until you recalled that she’s smarter than you and doesn’t do her projects the day before they're due.

“so, i have a couple of questions for you. this interview is solely based on having a casual conversation,” jimin paused at your confused expression before continuing, “it’s going to have common questions such as likes, dislikes, etc. is that okay?” she asked you, to which you politely nodded with a smile.

“okay, perfect. first question then. what do you think about museums?” she piped.

“museums? i really like them. i think they capture a lot more than just what was. they hold stories of people who once loved, once hated, and once made the entire world think if there was more to art,” you answered with a small chuckle at the end. jimin simply stared at you, almost in awe with how you formulated your words, especially since she knew that you didn’t like talking much.

“i’ve never thought about it like that! next question, what is your favorite type of flower?” she asked while tucking her hair behind her ear.

“if i’m being honest, i really love the old fashioned roses. i don’t have much to say for that other than the fact that it symbolizes such timeless romance,” you chimed.

“okay how about—wait what’s your opinion on—,” before jimin could ask you another question, the bell for next period rang loudly, reminding you that you had a test today that you totally didn’t forget to study for.

“i’m so sorry! i just realized i had a test today. can we pick this up tomorrow or perhaps, later?” you rushed out.

“oh! that’s completely okay. i’ll see you tomorrow then, or if i run into you later on. thank you for your time!” jimin smiled at you as you grinned before making your way out of the library and onto your next class.

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students had begun to jet outside of classes, piling up in the halls as the final bell of the day rang. you tiredly walked to yeonjun’s locker, filling him in on what had taken place in the library today. you felt the red bull beginning to wear off as all your energy had vanished the moment you stepped out of the test. teachers were heading to meetings they had been informed of at the last minute, causing everyone to be kicked out of class almost right at the bell.

“so, that’s all that happened? isn’t it weird how the questions weren’t the least bit psychology related?” yeonjun questioned curiously.

“well, she did mention that it was an interview based on having a casual conversation, but she didn’t exactly explain it, so i didn’t question her,” you responded tiredly.

“hmm, okay. go get your stuff so we can leave. i need to return this book to the library before it closes!” he yelled as he ran to the library, practically pushing people out of his way.

you shook your head at his buffoonery and made your way to your locker. foolishly forgetting your code before trying again, letting out a grateful susurration as it opened. you grabbed your textbook along with your keys. you were just about to close your locker until you saw a note fall out of the corner. looking around, you swiftly picked it up before gently unfolding it.

“meet me in the art room after the final bell”

without even hesitating, you shut your locker and trudged to the art room only to find it locked. you opened the note again, which you had shoved inside of your pocket, to check if you were at the right room. you clicked your tongue as you waited for something to happen or somebody to at least open the door. you noticed how the hallway had gotten so eerie. the atmosphere of the hallway almost forcing you to get going until you suddenly felt somebody tug roughly at the back of your collar and pull you into the art room.

it was jimin.

“hi, y/n,” she shyly smiled at you as you stared at her in surprise.

“hi, jimin. i wasn’t expecting that strength,” you tried to joke until you realized how horrible of an attempt it was.

before you could say anything else, you saw her rushingly dig into her bag for something. she slowly pulled out a rose from her side pocket and handed it to you, not letting you utter a word as she placed her finger on your lips, almost stilling you out of your mind. you blushed but didn’t dare to say anything.

“so, earlier during that ‘interview’ you mentioned you really liked museums, so i got us two tickets to the art museum downtown,” jimin said, taking your hand, gently placing the ticket in your palm, letting her fingers linger along your skin.

“jimin, i-i honestly don’t—you’re the sweetest little thing ever,” you gazed at her lovingly as you tried to gather your thoughts.

“you don’t have to say anything, y/nnie. i just want you to come with me,” she whispered.

she slowly tucked your hair behind your ear that had fallen in front of your face. you two locked eyes before she cupped under your jaw, bringing your lips near hers. you thanked whatever higher power there was for this moment just before you closed your eyes and let her take the lead.

as soon as her lips hit yours, you knew you were doomed for however long you were going to live this lifetime. butterflies erupted in your stomach while your heart leaped out of your chest in bliss. her soft lips continued to move against yours as your hands remained on her waist, pulling her in closer than ever. you two paused softly, smiling against each others’ lips before pulling back completely.

“so, i’ll come pick you up whenever you’re ready, pretty girl,” jimin beamed before heading out the door.

you happily nodded at her, not trusting your words in the moment. holding your chest as your heart wanted to simply embrace jimin and never let her go, you were sure your face was redder than it’s ever been.

“y/n? why are you so red?”

[212-apricity]

theodore nott headcanons part two!!

is it headcannons or headcanons?? anyways i hope you guys like this one, ideas for a new fic are in plan...

masterlist

theodore nott masterlist

patriotically italian, esp now that its the euros this man is 10000% against anything english and his friends are still mad at him for last euros (same)

loves to go shopping with you, he’ll hold stuff for you, he’ll buy stuff for you, he’ll ask people questions for you, literally anything

dog person, hates cats

imagine doing that one trend with theo where your lipstick is smudged and you tilt the phone to him and he’s got lipstick kisses allll over

keeps a polaroid of you two in his phone case

has to hold hands all the time

definitely sappy drunk, most times he’ll talk about your future wedding and sometimes he wont recognise that it’s you and won’t let you touch him thinking it’s some random girl

loves watching you get ready

will take your makeup off for you after a long day/night

doesn’t text basically anyone apart from his friendship group and you, and is always that one person in group chats that never texts back to anything

uses "👍" like a dad

buys things for you if you mention them once e.g. if you say one day that you love blueberries, he'll show up with five boxes of them the next day

has all his family recipes in a box and doesn’t let anyone not even you see them, your favourite: his grandads tiramisu 

sees mattheo breaking spaghetti, proceeds to try and break his legs

always has ink on his hands

you guys are not like those couples at theme parks who are basically doing it in a “family friendly” environment, you hold hands and kiss sometimes but nothing more

old moneyyy

knows how to ride horses for some reason

walked in your and pansys dorm once without knocking when you two were doing the jojo siwa karma dance, was traumatised, left silently, never spoke of it again and never came into the dorm without knocking 

loves photography, hes always taking candid photos of you and random things he sees

the majority of his camera roll is you, old photos of his mother that hes been trying to recover from the Nott achives, and just random things he sees that he finds nice, from a painting in a museum to shattered glass in the sunlight on the street

loves taking in italian with lorenzo when he knows you don’t understand things, loves to see you get frustrated

if you speak a language other than english with your parents and you’re on the phone with them and he hears the one or two words he knows, he’ll get all happy and smiley and keep repeating that word/phrase, same with you when theo speaks italian (if youre not already an italian speaker)

super tall, touches the border of doorways when he walks by them, is called slender man on a daily basis as a result

resting bitch face

lorelai gilmore type comebacks 

prideful, knows the status his family holds

fuck around and find out kind of guy

he’s got that built in dad feature of being able to fix absolutely anything from a shelf to the stove

princess treatment both ways

makes sure to wear a freshly washed shirt for a few hours so when you wear it, they smell like him

serves you first in the great hall

loves coming home with you and your family on holidays

does that thing of keeping a flower from a bouquet he gives you so he knows when to get you more

scorpio

if you are an air sign: that one lyric from chemtrails over the country club, "youre in the wind, im in the water" is so you two bc hes a water sign

kendrick supporter

academically smart, womanly stupid

would ask you to teach him how to make daisy chains and get frustrated when all his would break

he and blaise are the appointed spider catchers for you, mattheo, lorenzo, pansy and draco

cursive handwriting

favourite colour is deep blue

[baeddel]

i remember on twitter i saw a social game was being played which went along the lines of: 'if you lived in the medieval period, what would you be?' and people answered things like: 'i would be a witch!' 'i would be a knight!' and so forth.

a lady with training in history but who is now by trade a poster responded to this with a killjoy attitude: 'in actual fact, statistically, you would be a slave or a farmer.'

what is the appropriate reply? it is merely enough to say: 'i am not a statistic, but a person.'

for the object of the game was not to find out what you are most likely to be. upon what assumptions must such a reading of the question rest? God has sent all of us back to a certain moment in time; yet he must do so under a certain constraint, in particular, that every member of every class be replaced by someone of like status in exact proportion. and to accomplish this feat of sorting the Lord uses no particular alogirthm, but merely casts ox-lots, and places us in each social category by random chance alone, until they are filled.

but if that were truly the proposal, then the majority of us would by no means be slaves or farmers; we would be suspended in limbo until a space was opened to us, when another player died or resigned, because there are far more of us now than there were then, and so only a small portion of us would be let through. if instead we were alloted in a certain ratio, rather than by replacing each individual one for one, then most of us would quickly become not slaves and farmers but vagrants, hermits, supplicants, lepers and hungry ghosts, because medieval society (admirable as its irrigation was) could not have supported this many people at the level of production available to it.

so that cannot be what the question is about. so what is it about? it's an opportunity for me to fashion myself, to present myself in some way, that says something about my nature. when i am asked that question i do not become ponderous and say, 'what method could help me arrive at such an answer?' i don't ask anything; i say, in fact, invent the answer, based on my desires and self-image. i speak about myself and not the medieval period ("Jojo spoke of Voltaire, and Pierre of Casanova, and I, who had remained the proudest, spoke about myself").

if you'd like to know, here is my answer: i would be Francois Villon. i would not be some person like him; i would not do the sort of things he did, or any other such compromise. i would BE Francois Villon, just the way he was himself. how likely is that? if we were casting ox-lots, i would have (worldometer tells me, click) a 1/350,000,000 chance of that. but we aren't; i'm merely telling you, and by the nature of the game, this chance is irrelevant. if you disagreed with me you would have to raise such objections as "your poetry is not that good", "you don't even speak French", and so forth...

[respectthepetty]

Dunk and Joong could have offered me anything in 2024, and I would have taken it, gladly, no questions because my ass is a Jaidee fan first and a human second. But to hand me The Heart Killers? Oh! Let me list all the reasons y'all gonna hate me when this comes out.

Joong plays Khao's older brother

Khaotung is older than Joong, but in BL Land that doesn't matter because Khao is playing the hopeless romantic little brother while Joong is playing his stern older brother. Someone already wrote it was 10 Things I Hate About You/The Taming of the Shrew, and Shakespeare would be thrilled to know one of his masterpieces is getting the queer treatment and it's not Twelfth Night.

Dunk is playing the crazy seducer

Boy wants a car and is willing to go to great lengths to do it, including distracting some dude, so his buddy can play house with that dude's little brother. But the whole point is they had to find a guy who was crazy enough to accept the offer in the first place >insert Dunk's character< so the guy isn't just wanting the car. He is doing this for the thrill of getting tied up, stripped down, and threatened.

And I respect that.

Jojo is apparently directing

I wanna have beef with Jojo after Only Friends, then I look at his resume and remember this is the man who gave me puppy play in The Warp Effect, poly in 3 Will Be Free, and a chaotic stripper named Judo in Dirty Laundry PLUS the YinWar trailer for their Partner in Crime concert which has now lead to YinWar doing Jack & Joker, so as a vegetarian, I'm gonna be like Elsa and let that go.

Which means Rath is probably the cinematographer

I don't give men compliments easily, so when I state that Cinematographer Rath has never disappointed me, I mean it. The man knows what he is doing, and if he is in on this series, I know if anything, it will be visually stunning.

First and Khao being the Beyonce of GMMTV

I'm in Jaidee's corner always, but I have eyes and First and Khao could really do whatever they want and I'd eat it up. I have believed them with whomever they have been partnered with in the past, and if they want to play high schoolers in an oppressed school system or a banker willing to see his ex and his ex's new man just to flirt with the boy from the market, I'm buying the tickets, I'm sitting in the front row, and I'm holding up homemade posters. Basically, I'm shutting the fuck up and experiencing whatever they want me to experience.

First and Khao tears

This is its own category because when they cry, they are in a league of their own. They claimed this series was going to be lighter than their previous work, but what is a First or Khao series without tears? I hope they are drinking water right now because someone is crying in this series, and JD's faces are already wet for other reasons.

DUNK'S BODY!

Not to objectify the man's body, but . . . it's a banger, and he has been done dirty by wardrobe for two solid years. His face card never declines. His arms are solid. His waist is snatched. His hair is perfect. Even Tay, New, and Jan were talking about him in the BTS for Peaceful Property because they were saying how New's character was based off of Dunk - pretty, fashionable, and COCKY! But wouldn't we all be that cocky if we were walking around looking like this?! Like shut up fives. A ten is speaking!

It's high time that man got to stunt like Force always does just taking off his shirt for no reason. Good for him. And good for us.

Oh, yeah, and the plot

Sorry, I mean the plot.

SHIT, THE PLOT!

You know what? Nah. I honestly do not give a fuck about the plot. Joong and Khao are hired killers. First is out to get them. Dunk gets involved (although, I think he knows a lot more than he leads on), and . . .

All will end well.

Because if anything, Jojo ain't never been allergic to a happy ending *wink*

So just know this show hit its target audience

ME!

¡Salud!

[zzencat]

Their Sexual Tendencies + Traits? (NSFW) - Timeless ⏳

Simply choose from left to right.

(Minors DNI) Nice and simple. What would happen if you got involved? Their tendencies in bed? Intimate behavior? Maybe it’s the one you’ve been ignoring. How about the one you’re with? A future partner? What goes on in their head at night when you’re all they can think about? And if more unfolds? Very TMI. Includes sexual, graphic descriptions and toxic traits.

Must do before you choose: Clear your mind. Time is now patient and still. Close your eyes, inhale deeply, fill your chest up to the fullest, feel the soft air brush up against the ridges of your nose. Breathe out. You may now begin.

—————————-

Pile 1. “I was a bad girl. I did some bad things.” - Jojo Siwa (lmfaooo)

•right of the bat, “karma” from Jojo siwa played

•I get brat vibes from this pile…are you a brat? lmfao cuz your person’s gonna like that for sure

•or maybe you try to hard to be a brat or appear/act like one? Your person loves it regardless

•this person loves dominating, but they can get just as enthusiastic as a sub. The instant switch and role change is actually pretty impressive, since they do it effortlessly

• I get the vibe they do or will do most of the topping work tho. They can have their lazy days, sure, but they like moving

•dare I say this person is the kinkiest out of the three piles

•^^ we’re talking bondage, role play, slapping(? Damn), everything and all over the above—receiving or giving, they can do it all. Fast raw sex and quickies are hot to them esp

• if you’re poly, this person is okay with that. If you’re not, they’re also okay. they just wanna have sex, end of story 🧌

• is down to literally do it anywhere and everywhere

• if this relationship started off as some kind of fwb or anything with benefits, I wouldn’t be surprised

• if you guys are both in a committed relationship, make sure you try to match their energy in bringing new things to the bedroom

• these people are shower masturbators—the sex drive is actually crazy like- slow your horse for just a second damn

•^^ they don’t even have time to masturbate if you’re with each other all the time. I got the image of a couple going on a trip and they’re in a hotel…yk what comes next. If you live together, cue some jungkook music. There’s no makin it out

• if you’re not together due to long distance stuff, a lot of cam/phone sex. It happens so much that you think they’re jobless (and they could be tbh. Tell em to get a job!!!)

• this person gives me the vibe that they’re not really in an occupation that demands much. It feels like a very lax, low demand and energy job OR they’re a model for something and they make money through content like that

• this person is reallllly good looking tho. It’s how they can get away with a lot of things

• their maturity level is kinda questionable I wont lie…I think you need to teach them some boundaries

• they could take a while to see their faults? Maybe they don’t wanna see or they’re too oooh la la in the sky

• can come off as quite careless. Can even be clingy

• also very prone to peer pressure or self-sabotaging behavior

•avoids conflict like the plague

• open to all body types as long as your face is cute. I think they likely prefer people who don’t look like they’re freaks in the sheets ykwim? The duality is prob what gets em going. But then again, I think anything gets them going. This person is a true horndog of nature

• (I, personally, as Teddy, the reader, feel like I should include why they’re like this—craving physical intimacy so much, but there’s this brushing off/dismissive energy like “forget it they don’t need to know- let’s just have fun and shiii”)

•^^ (if I rephrase what I wanted to include, it might be better. They prob grew up with a lot of siblings/other kids, and not enough love to go around, so they were overlooked, OR no-to-low amount of siblings but not enough physical and emotional intimacy and connection from parents/guardians, so they looked towards external sources.)

• doesn’t have too many expectations tbh (idk if that’s a bad or a good thing, but the root of it is that they don’t wanna pressure people to stay with them or force people into commitment)

• ^^if they fall in love with you and yall date, and you leave one day, it’ll hurt so much that they’ll revert back to the thinking of why commitment didn’t always work for them

•childhood couldn’t show them what true commitment was so if you actually express that you want to be with them exclusively, they’ll be so shocked, to say the least. Like “me? Why me? I’m not anything special, lmfao” . They’re laughing it off and will feel nervous so they’ll cover it up by drinking smth (water or anything), but they’re so used to the sentiment of being “nothing special” that they’re numb to it

• ^^ but if they end up falling in love with you (beware of their nonstop horse sex drive), they’ll be a lot more reserved and laid back than before

• they’ll prob be lazier tho ngl. They’ll take days off work just to have sex with you all day

• they make up for this uselessness feeling through sexual activities

• they think like “why touch yourself alone when I’m right here?”

• when they do masturbate tho, they think about you and your body shifting back and forth against the bed. They’re pretty quick tho when it comes to masturbation—I’m guessing bc of impatience and not being able to hold back. They only last long when it comes to sex with a partner

• the body worship is real nice

• most of the sexual activities have one thing in common though, and that’s the closeness of both of your skins. This person kisses your skin so much during sex, and really anytime, feel you up whenever they can. The touchiness is all the time and it’s sweet, but it can always lead to something else

• in this pile, lies a very rare breed. a handful, and really not a lot, will encounter the rare breed partner that also has this high of a sex drive, is confident, has a regular day job, prob tall and slim, is responsible and committed only to you, and will be on board 100% if you ever want to engage in exhibitionist/voyeur activities—extreme (like streaming your intimate moments or camming together)

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Pile 2. *Growling noises.*

• the thing is…you’re just existing 😭

• you don’t do much to piss this person off (most of the time). Some light jokes and messing around here and there but you’re pretty much chillin. (ESPECIALLY when you’re not dating, this bullet point and the previous be the vibe.)

• this person wants you like a predator wants prey, basically. It feels weird to say it ngl, but it’s a very obviously fire energy? Like Leo smth…or a very capable and sadistic Scorpio? They have this dark and mysterious look. Very intimidating, but you prob don’t give this person your time of day—either you don’t care, think it’s weird, or maybe you’re just playing a little hard to get

•^^whatever this person thinks you’re doing, purposely or not, they find it intriguing and you have to be theirs

• this person tho? pile 1 has nothing on this person. My bad, not person—beast.

• very dominant person and very much shows it if you’re exclusively dating each other or in a higher relationship

• they could use some work on their control issues tho. IMPORTANT!!!: this person would NEVER put their hands on you to hurt you out of anger or violent means. No abuse in their household, no, no. (In bed, it’s different but only if you consent)

•^^ regarding the control issues, make sure they’re not obsessed with you bc you’re hard to control. At your highest energy, this pile has a very independent, do-what-I-want energy. You don’t give two shits abt what others think- you dress, look, and act the way you want. You stand up to them when no one has the balls to do it

• very much BDSM. It could get a little tiring—not the person!! The person has hella games and tricks up their sleeve when it comes to bdsm and freaky shit. Tiring in the sense that it just stays in the BDSM realm like dude…break out of it cmon. It’s time to experiment with different menus, not recipes.

• commander type. also choking. this person likes choking. Choking you AND being choked, but they wouldn’t bring up the latter if you never mention it.

• has a LOT of self control…until they don’t. But I think this person loses it very easily bc of their partner—like you needa be punished asap type feel.

• getting off is normal for them, but when they have a partner, most of the time they save it until sex. but if not and you’re not around, they’re gonna go at it, thinking how you should be there, imagining how good you look with your mouth on their parts while you look up at them, praising you about how good you’re doing.

• this person isn’t really simple with masturbation either. If they simply lay down and or sit on their bed and touch themselves, it wouldn’t be as satisfying so they have to go again, preferably touching themselves in a different place—depends on what mood they’re in, they’ll choose a risky, likely-to-get-caught kinda place or a place outside their room, but private.

• wow, verrrry possessive person. Marking you up 😫 In the morning, if you need to go somewhere, they’ll be like “Don’t try to cover it up.”

• This person could be some sort of player? Regardless of who they are, they just have a lot of pent up energy they need to get out of. They def have experience

•honestly, pile 2, this person can get really damn intense. If you can’t handle their heat, it’s okay to get outta the kitchen cuz they’re the ones turning it up and have also broken the ac 😭 the sex is crazy good, but it will take this person a bit of time to actually fall in love with you. Cuz you’re so different from everyone they’ve seen so they’re unsure…weirded out…interested.

• if you somehow get in bed with this person, you’re in for a ride (literally.) after this experience, this person will deadass replay it everywhere, every day, all the time. It becomes an obsession with them (which may or may not be a good thing for you.)

• this person is going to be in your life for a whiiiiile. You might even roll your eyes and be like “whyyy”

• this is the most obvious enemies to lovers trope pile, but it starts smth like that OR you just get annoyed that everyone wants this person and to you, they’re just hot and nothing much.

• it gets wilder— this person WILL try to make you jealous. Shamelessly. (Ick)

• they’d like to receive some mouth-work from you if ya get my vibe. (Which is unfair bc they’re kinda selfish when it comes to receiving pleasure.) if they give it, they give it THEIR way

• ^ you have to put them in their place and show them you’re not someone to be fucked with. The worst thing you could do is leave their life entirely. Even pissing you off gives them something.

• if you’re sick of their shit, they might even let you have a chance of taking it out on them and having your way for once (BUT just so you know, if you do, they’ll take it as you surrendering to them. Like you finally have a weakness or manipulation point.)

• HOWEVER, this person, although very fucking stubborn, is willing to make any and all changes for you. IT WILL TAKE TIME. And only if you’re in love with each other. Maybe they were trying to find someone that was worth their time and more than just looks.

• I will say tho, if you get into an actual committed relationship with this person, the upbringing of this relationship looks pretty toxic. Like the crazy need for control and the unwarranted possessiveness (on their side), especially at points when you’re not dating each other. If you don’t set their shit straight, you’ll fall into the trap and could get a broken heart out of it

• ^^ on the bright side, this encounter/relationship with them will bring you so much personal growth. If you make it out of this relationship in one piece, you’re actually indestructible. And if they’re really willing to change—I suggest noting down their BIG, grandiose sacrifices for you that puts them at some risk—then there’s also a big chance you could have a harmonious and balanced connection

• ^^ why? Bc they know that you’re not superficial and you have substance to you, and they want that. Be wary tho, this person isn’t stupid and knows what strings to pull

• this person could have a tan tint to their skin or brown hair

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Pile 3. “Please let me in...”

• this pile’s energy seems a little closed off. not from your person but from you. I’m feeling indifference, constant wariness, but regardless, there’s always a wall

• you’re prob an introvert and has gotten hurt in the past really, REALLY badly, so you’ve been closing your heart off. There’s a piece of you that still wants to find love, hence your presence here, but you act like you don’t or you don’t show that you are interested in wanting it.

• if you’re an extrovert, however? You may not be TOO keen on sharing things about your life. Open to it, sure…but still somewhat selective

• you would sacrifice everything for the person you love, not that you would willingly admit this verbally. If you have, good for you!! You’re the muse baby

• your person is more likely an extrovert and has tried or IS planning to try to get closer to you/get to know you more. They KNOW you are more than what you show on the surface. They’re the only ones who can see the gems behind the rockiness you show

• they’re a virgin or inexperienced

•^^ I don’t think most of the people who chose this pile mind too much, honestly. There’s a bit of a corruption kink rearing its head in here…not super apparent but it be lurkin in da shadows

• oh they’re a switch hahaha. You can just push em on the bed and they’ll let you do whatever you want to them. They’re not complaining at all tho—just lock in on your target and DESTROYYYY 😈😈

• almost a puppy like energy to them—ALMOST. Almost. Bc they have leader vibes but a nice leader. Maybe not respectable by all…but most. Like one who seeks the best for the team but bc they’re not “alpha” or aggressive enough, it can be tough to get people to take things seriously. But eventually people do. Maybe even out of pity.

• I get the feeling this person had to be very in tune with their parents’/guardians’ feelings (I’m getting anxiety or just freaking out over messes and stuff) — maybe they’ve also grown with grandparents? Or have had the presence of their grandparents be very significant in their lives?

•^ bc of this they will most likely be vanilla in bed. I don’t even think they’ll lust after you for a while man I mean, outta respect yk? And also bc it doesn’t feel right to them. It’s not the first thing or one of the first things that come into their mind when they think about you

• ^^ you basically have to tell them what to do, what they can and cannot do too. They’ve had to be so involved in taking care of everybody with an undying kindness to them that they don’t really know where boundaries begin. They’d never wanna break your boundaries

• ok this does not mean that your person is a nice white male, btw!! I keep seeing a salesman, wearing a baby blue button up and khakis, brown hair…this person seems so average? — this could mean that they’re doing everything they can to make others happy and totally not paying attention to their own. I’m not sure if you’ll ever see this person cry in public, but if you make them cry in bed? Hey, go for it muahahah

• it will prob take a while to get them to be comfortable with thinking about you sexually. If they have to relieve themselves, they try to channel this energy into workouts or something physical that gets their mind off of you in that way. Inevitably, the idea of you in bed will pop up, but they’ll shake it off. It’s not even holding back—they just don’t wanna “disrespect” you and see you as an object (but like I said, if you want them to treat you like one in bed or smth, you have to let them know and say it with a lot of conviction. This person is very mentally bullheaded so it’s hard to break into them like that)

•I think they let a lot of things happen bc they’re that empathetic, or they just don’t have the energy for the chase. Like think little kid stealing from a shop, they’ll prob be like “hey kid- ah…” *sighs and scratches back of head as they watch the kid run away with said items*

• if you’re not interested in this person or blatantly ignoring them, they’ll really try to get you (but in a nonstalker-ish way) which is good!! They just want your attention really. They’re pretty much awestruck by you, ESPECIALLY if you ever go to an event and they see you all cleaned up and dressed, they’ll check you out and zone out mid convo I swear. You actually render them speechless.

• (now…we get to some of the graphics.) This person is not a serial masturbator, I will say. Once a day, max. If you’ll allow them, they would do more. They could honestly go all day if you made them. If this person works in an office and you make them soooooo desperate, they would hide somewhere, perhaps an empty room and just start finding heaven. Very quickly too. Quickly and (trying to be) quiet. They’re pretty on top of things and responsible, but if you just tell em what to do, it will be done. They even clean after their mess too (if they do it in public? Cleaning up fast due to freaking out). Like “oh god, what have I done…” They’re super fucking clumsy too and don’t have too good of a recovery in public tho. For example, if they run into someone they know, RIGHT after coming out of the restroom? Red, hot face, sweat all over their neck. Stuttering and shit when they try to say hi to the said acquaintance. When they touch themselves, they don’t use toys (which is very sad. You gotta spice up their lives. They’re open to it. If you’re not the one with spice, they’re also okay with it. And if you’re both okay with vanilla sex every time, feel free!) This person just uses their hands, but LIES DOWN. They like to relax, face the ceiling, close their eyes, and think slow vanilla things…

•might be tmi, but when they touch themselves, it’s kind of inhibited…and not as fast as people do when they’re abt to cross the finish line, yk? Like either long edging sessions or never letting themselves climax sometimes, or rubbing/pressing very hard and still but not fast(?) when they cum…if you know what I mean? Idk if they’re doing it on purpose or if they’re not too experienced, or if they think they don’t deserve it? Scared maybe?

•no kidding, you could actually do anything to this person. cnc/dubious consent would be hot for them—though, they prob wouldn’t know what the kink is called lolll (you have to make sure tho. Establish boundaries and a safe word) bc they wanna be like “nooooo, don’t do that~~” while you’re all over them. BEFORE or IF you guys ever step into that stage tho, they’ll think about simple things if you do allow them to think about you sexually. Like you on top of them, slow grinding, soft touches, helping them out, mutual masturbation. there’s a little part that is innocent and doesn’t know how to step out of that or where to start when it comes to the more kinky stuff.

• it’s funny bc even tho this person has had a lot of experience outside, within a team or jobs, or clubs, etc., they’re so…malleable?? LMFAO 😂 crazy ass word to use but YES. you can throw them around like a damn doll and have them do this and that. A bit of hesitancy, but they know their main purpose in life is to serve :)

• but like I said, they’re a switch, so not only can they think abt you taking control (softdom energy), but if they think abt being on top, they think about slow, loving sex yk? Like slow grinding- oooh, yeah. that really gets them. They’re the type to milk themselves till the last drop too btw. Til. The. Last. Drop.

• also, most of the partners are not a loud moaner. They’re quiet, likely bc they’ve had to force themselves to be quiet in the household they’ve grown in. If your person is a loud moaner, they’ve grown unashamed of their sexual needs and have developed a healthy relationship with that aspect. If you’re with a person who’s like this and moans loud, congratulations!! They have become comfortable in their skin and you have made it so 🙂‍↕️👏👏 If they’re still quiet, def some insecurity bc of growing up with limiting beliefs or having to live with a lot of people in childhood. If you want them loud, you have to encourage it out of them. They’ll be pretty fuckin shy about it though. You realllly have to pull it out of them.

• bonus: if they’re loud, they’re a slut 😂😂 like a secret slut, yk? (this might be a bit darker so don’t read if you don’t want to—this really only applies to a small portion of people here—but chances are they get off…on being ashamed and self-degradation? A big example is being ashamed for engaging in sex/sexual activities? Like a masochist, “this is so dirty, I shouldn’t be doing this…” but proceeds to do it anyway bc they can’t help themselves?? And they likely degrade themselves while getting off. These people may secretly be content creators for this type of thing but appear angelic in real life OR they have potential to. Like them faceless whimper creators lmfaoo. Listen, hey…if you get with one of these people, you a winner winner chicken dinner

•there’s a big chance most people in this pile or the pile’s person feels ashamed or very guilty about the whole sex thing and masturbation; if you’re looking to improve your relationship with sex or relationship with this person, you have to help each other overcome this fear. It doesn’t matter who asserts themselves to the task. It requires the both of you at the end of the day. And boyyy is it gonna be hard- (…anxiety makes it hard for you to get aroused/stay aroused/reach orgasm tho 😮‍💨 the more you know…). No man, it’s gonna be so awkward—palms-sweatingly awkward. Breaking news, you might have to be the assertive one here. Your impatience could get the best of you and in that case, you’ll guide them. There are so many things that could go wrong in this situation of awkward pre-sex, but if this person has shown their worth to you and you actually trust them, a lot of it is salvageable by your own hand.

• however, if this situation goes south (and not the south we want…) then, this person will start to feel bad or insecure that they’ve hurt or done something wrong towards you, even though they’re a clumsy dummy who doesn’t intend to hurt people and tries hard to do everything right

• ^^ should you ever try to initiate it and try to sex em up again, you’d have to put a bit of work in to convince them, bc they were really open that one time and it was honestly…kinda the first time they’ve gotten so close to doing something THAT vulnerable and revealing. It would feel like they stripped and you didn’t like what you saw, and it was so apparent on your face that it broke them. That kind of vibe. A very sensitive person at heart.

• they get really anxious if something goes wrong. It’s probably a trait they picked up from parents/guardians being like that.

• they have SOOO much potential, seriously. But a lot of what-ifs on their mind so they’re playing it safe. Be confident, and maybe even borderline bossy, with them and gradually they’ll open out of their shell. This person is like hot liquid gold, waiting to be molded into your likings 😇

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**Teddy Note: Hi guys!! This is a super long post, but I hope you’ve gotten something out of it. My sexual tarot deck just came in and I’m pretty much obsessed with it already hahaha. Thank you for reading today’s post!! If you haven’t heard, I’d just opened up paid readings, and there is a sexual reading in there that is pretty much like this one, but more individualized towards you and pretty detailed (if you do decide to purchase, that is.) That’s all I gotta say. It’s been pretty intense doing these readings and the partners in these piles are all wildin in their own way 😅 Thank you again! Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t! Peace outtt :))