#Joint moth oc

[mushroom-for-art]

Introducing Moth! Ft bby grub Moth! This mew was made with the lovely @cinnatwo!! He's our joint child!! Please behold him!

[mothysmenagerie]

I named her ✨ Dusty! ✨

[prodagustd]

the road not taken | myg

part one: back home

Summary: To have the job you’ve always wanted and the life you’ve always dreamt of you had to break a few hearts, including your own. Four years later after running away from your home, your family and friends, you realized that maybe you fucked up; you’ve been a bad daughter, a bad sister and a bad friend. Getting your shit together seemed difficult enough, you didn’t expect that it included facing the first man who ever broke your heart: your brother’s best friend.

part two>

—pairing: lawyer!yoongi x actress!oc

—rating: +18

—genre: brother's best friend, one sided pinning (or both?)

—warnings/tags: angst, fluff, eventual smut, angst, sexual tension? lmao, slow burn, flashbacks, ANGST!! Btw english is not my first language !!

—words: 12k

—a/note: literally finding the courage to post this rn because yesterday i had an identity crisis and i wanted to delete everything!!! but i hope you like it more than me <3 feedback is very much appreciated, if you want to be on the taglist pls let me know!!

series masterlist | teaser | playlist

Four years ago.

In your almost twenty one years of life, you never had to spend the holidays without your eldest brother, you were never prepared for that. All the attention of your family was fixed on you now, making you feel like you were an only child for the first time. It felt weird, but nostalgic, like you were waiting for him to enter through the door at any moment. You supposed it was going to happen at some point, opening the gifts with just your mom, sitting on the front seat of the car for the first time while listening to christmas songs on the radio, only to arrive to your grandparents’ home and attempt to survive the questions of your future alone, that didn’t sound fun at all. 

Simon, your eldest brother, didn’t die, by the way, he just got a girlfriend. A girlfriend? Yes, a girlfriend, that word wasn’t part of his vocabulary, or at least it wasn’t a few years ago when he left for college, but now all of a sudden he had a serious one, the kind who invited their boyfriends to spend the holidays with their families. Now Simon wore knitted sweaters, drank black coffee and listened to all the bands your uncle liked, he grew up, or something like that, but you didn’t think he grew up enough to get a girlfriend, to fall in love. Well, you hoped he was in love, you didn’t meet the girl yet but you hoped he was, at least that was what he said. 

Yes, Christmas without your brother sounded a bit sad, but New Year’s eve on the other hand… didn’t sound so bad. 

If your brother’s absence would’ve happened years ago, you would’ve planned this the same way as always, getting drunk with your highschool friends at the only decent party that there was in your hometown around that time, only this time he wasn’t going to be around to tell you to stop drinking or to take the joint off your mouth when you failed to hide from him to smoke weed. But this year you got sick of all that, you got sick of the same faces from highschool and all the girls who approached you just because they wanted to fuck your brother, or all the girls who fucked your brother’s best friend, maybe you got sick of the same music, the same party, the same people. This year you felt like you were seventeen again, too afraid to wish that something different could happen, maybe this time you weren’t coming home alone after watching Yoongi giving the first kiss of the year to some random girl, maybe this time your heart wasn’t going to hurt that much. 

Yoongi, your brother’s best friend, was painfully always there in your life, you didn’t know how the mess that was your brother was able to have such a good friend, they knew each other even before you were born, when they were only four and met each other at basketball practice. Yoongi was always like your brother’s conscience, the voice of reason, the calm one, the designated driver ever since he was sixteen, the smart one, the boy every mother wanted as their son. Yoongi was the boy who helped you with your math homework when you were eleven, he was the boy who defended you when your brother made fun of you, the boy who gave you his joystick so you would stop crying when you found out your brother was making you play with the one that didn’t work. He was sweet and kind with everybody, you wished you knew that when you were twelve so you could save yourself the eternal heartache that came along with being in love with a man who only saw you as your brother’s little sister.

Yoongi was always mature, always wiser, always older. And you were always immature, always stubborn, always younger. Just a brat who couldn’t stand the fact that he was the only one you wanted, but the only one you couldn’t have.

Maybe forgetting about him when he went away to college was the best thing that happened to you, you pretended he didn’t exist during the school year and made yourself believe you got over it, that your heart didn’t jump every time you called your brother and you heard his voice in the background, that you didn’t read every birthday message he sent you since you were sixteen until you memorized them, that you didn’t compare every guy to him and that you weren’t annoyed when you realized that none of them was half as intelligent as him. You were obligated to pretend you weren’t condemned to look for his face in every crowd ever since you were a teenager. All that mental effort was wasted away when you came back home for the holidays and saw him sitting on your couch again. 

You repeated the cycle every year as you pretended that your heart wasn’t tired of it, like seeing him that morning in your kitchen didn’t make your heart drop like you were twelve years old again. 

It began when you heard voices coming from the second floor, an outburst of laughter, your mother’s laughter, and then the laugh that echoed so many times in your dreams, were you still in a dream? You thought you might be in one when you entered the kitchen and saw the long figure of the man, the long figure of Yoongi, sitting on a stool as he peeled a tangerine and listened to your mother talk, but the minute they noticed your presence they fell silent. 

Two pairs of eyes landed on your sleepy face, making you aware that you were wearing your old pajamas, the one that was pink and had a bunny pattern all over it. You locked eyes with him and it felt like it hadn't passed a day since the last time you saw him.

“What are you two gossiping about so early?” You wondered out loud, slowly approaching the aisle of the kitchen, slowly approaching Yoongi, whose hair was slightly shorter from the last time you saw him and whose cheeks were still red from the cold outside. You arrived three days ago, confidently thinking that even if your mind was a mess at least you didn't have to see your brother's best friend's face.

In your mind, you cursed your mom for always telling him that he will be forever welcomed in her house. 

“Why do you care?” He spat at you, following your figure with his eyes as you sat in one of the stools beside him. “That’s between your mom and me.”

“Dude,” You said under your breath, grabbing a tangerine from the bowl of fruits in front of you “You have to get a fucking girlfriend.” 

Your mother frowned, annoyed, but Yoongi is too used to you to do anything else but  laugh.

“God, darling, you barely open your eyes and you’re already cursing.” She complained, shaking her head in disapproval. You shrugged, pretending to pay full attention to the tangerine in your hands. 

“It’s fine, Lila. I can handle her.” He said, carefree as ever.

You scoffed, “Yeah, sure.” You played it cool, as if that didn’t make your heart jump a little.  “What are you doing here, anyway? Weren’t you supposed to come back for christmas?”

“Why?” He asked, “You want me gone?”

You saw a stupid smirk appear in his face, the same one you’ve seen countless times in the past. It seemed to be the only thing that could put out your cocky attitude.

“Don’t be stupid.” You managed to answer, running away from his eyes. 

You heard him sigh “I finished early, I arrived last night.” He answered the question, reaching his hand under the counter to pinch your thigh, as if that could shake off your bad attitude, plot twist: it only made it worse. “That’s what I was talking about with your mom, I left Simon behind while he was still dealing with exams.”

“Such a good friend.” You joked. 

“Maybe… But hey, he’s the one who ditched me for a girl after all.”

“Well, if it’s a pretty girl you can’t blame him so much.” 

“If you say so…” He hissed, rolling his eyes “What about you, huh?” He changed the topic “What are you doing here two weeks early?”

“You see, this is my house.” You quickly replied, putting the first tangerine segment between your lips to avoid saying the truth. He narrowed his eyes, shaking his head.

Of course there was a coherent reason for why you weren’t in school right now, but since you arrived you couldn’t seem to quit the bad attitude, especially in the mornings, it was driving you crazy. 

“You shouldn’t ask, dear.” Your mom intervened, turning around to wash her mug previously filled with coffee  “Sensitive topic.”

Yoongi’s eyes shifted to you again, as well as his whole body, curiously raising his eyebrows. 

“Sensitive topic.” You mocked your mother, annoyed that she used such words. She was quick to disappear from the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone. You wondered if she was already tired of hearing you whine. 

“Don’t think I won’t ask you about it.” He smirked, stealing a segment of your tangerine just to annoy you. 

Oh, you were sure he would want all the details. 

“Whatever.” You gritted your teeth. “You only came to see Lila? I bet she would love to switch you with me.”

“I don’t doubt that.” Yoongi smugly said, ignoring the sudden annoyed look on your face, he was too used to it to be bothered by it. “But as much as I love your mom, I came to see you.”

You blinked, not sure what to say next. Now your angry expression turned into a surprised one, cursing yourself for feeling excited to hear that. You knew Yoongi finished early and was coming back home, you asked your brother about it last time he called you, you were just playing dumb when you asked, but when Simon told you he was going to be in town you didn’t expect to see him in your house the next day he arrived. 

“Me?” You tried to confirm.

“Yeah, you.” He said, booping the tip of your nose “Simon told me you’ve been having trouble with your car, I thought I could help.”

You nodded, that made more sense than him just coming to see you. 

“Simon is such a snitch.” You murmured.

“I can’t deny that…” He laughed, looking at you tearing apart your tangerine and putting another segment between your lips, “Do you… want me to help?” 

“Maybe…” You murmured “Do I have to pay you?”

“Maybe…” Yoongi answered, imitating your tone “Or you can just tell me why you are here before the break, I don’t know.”

You squinted at him, knowing it was just a matter of time until everybody found out you dropped out of college, but there was certain relief in delivering the news to Yoongi, something inside you told you he would understand.

“Bold of you to blackmail me when I know you won’t fix my car properly.” You accused him, mentioning that time he tried to fix your brand new car when something happened to it and you had to take it to his uncle’s garage when he made it worse. 

“C’mon, that was only once.”

“Let’s not make it twice, then.” You clapped your hands, getting off the stool to walk towards the stairs to your room again “Let me change first. And don’t try to seduce my mom while I’m gone, it won’t work.”

You heard his laugh from behind, and even if you thought about it, you didn’t dare to look back.

Not even five minutes later, you found yourself with him in your cold garage under the dim old light that provided you the tiny room. You supposed it was easier to open the garage door but you didn’t want your fingers to be frozen. 

You sat on the old desk in the corner of your garage as you watched Yoongi open the hood of your car, trying not to stare when pulled the sleeves of his sweater up to his elbows. 

He was wearing a beige sweater that tightened around his shoulders and his waist, Simon told you that he and Yoongi started going to gym lately and you could tell, his back was wider than you remember and you hated how different he looked from the last time you saw him. 

You hated to think there were people who saw him everyday and couldn’t tell the difference. 

You looked at your feet hanging in the air, hearing him suck his breath just to let you know he was just about to start throwing questions at you. 

“So?” He asked, persistent as always. 

“So what?” You played dumb. 

“So?” He emphasized, not willing to give up. 

So? You didn’t know how to start. Serious talks weren’t your thing, and even if you knew that Yoongi wasn’t expecting that from you, you still felt a rush of nervousness when the absence of his voice filled the room, your cue to start talking. 

“Mmm… It’s difficult to explain.” You trailed off. “I’m starting to think that I might be the black sheep of the family.” 

Your words made him turn his head at you, curious to hear more. 

“The black sheep?” He repeated. 

“Yeah, I think so.” You confirmed, without saying anything else.

“Fine…” Yoongi scratched the back of his head, a bit confused, something that was normal when he was with you.  “You’re not giving me a lot of context.” 

You knew this, but making a joke was easier than telling the whole truth. You wished you could tell him jokes until he forgot what your mother told him. But no, your mother already opened her mouth and now you had to explain your life crisis to the man in front of you. 

 “Let’s just say.. I dropped out of the semester…” You mumbled, unsure of your own voice “but I’m thinking that it is not just the semester, maybe it’s the whole thing.”

Yoongi turned his whole body to you, paying full attention to your words “Really?” He asked, just in case you were joking, but by the look in your eyes and the tone of your voice he could tell that you weren’t playing. You just nodded “Why, though?”

“That’s something I’ve been asking myself.”

“You don’t know?” He chuckled, making you roll your eyes. 

“Maybe I don’t know.” You tried to admit, but that was a lie. 

“Mmm, but I think you do know, though.” He contradicted you, turning around to keep checking your car. 

“Well, kind of… Do you want me to tell you half of the truth or a lie?” You offered him, leaving him without many options. 

 “Well, you are not very democratic, Pinky.” He scoffed, using the not-so-funny nickname he’s been calling you ever since you were kids. Only Yoongi could still be calling you like some character from an old cartoon that aired twenty years ago. “But I choose the half truth.” 

“Wise decision, as always.” You commented, clicking your tongue. “The half truth is… that being a nurse is not my thing, I don’t want to be that predictable, being the bitch in highschool that ended up being a nurse. At least I want to be the bitch in high school who ended up being something else. And I was not happy at college, not even a bit. I don’t think that’s who I am” 

Yoongi frowned, trying to process all the words you just vomited. If that was half the truth, what was the whole truth? 

“Wait, wait. Let’s go for parts.” He stopped you. “So, now you were a bitch in high school?” 

“You know I was.” You said, rolling your eyes.

Bitch was a strong word to call yourself, but to be fair you weren't being the nicest with yourself these past weeks. You stared at him, waiting for him to admit that yes, you were a bitch when you were seventeen years old, but that would be a lie. Yoongi would never have called you a bitch, you did have an attitude, you weren’t the friendliest in the mornings, you weren’t friends with everyone, you treated boys like shit, but you weren’t a bitch to him. 

“Isn’t that too… harsh?” He asked softly. 

“Isn’t it the truth?” You kept pushing it, but you were crazy if you think he’s going to agree with you. 

Yoongi shook his head, taking a long step to break the small distance that was between the two of you so he could be in front of you. As a gentle gesture, he put his cold hands on your knees, it was not an unusual gesture, but it had been so long since you had him that close that you couldn’t help but shiver. “I know you don’t like me getting all sappy, but I hope you know that only you get to decide who you are, and if you don’t think that is a nurse, then it’s not.” He rubbed his palms on your clothed skin, searching for his last words. “But, I must say, I don’t think a bitch is who you are either.” 

The cold room suddenly turned warm under his gaze, catching you with your guard down once again. You hated when he turned conversations into something like this, and worse, you hated when you bumped into the ugly reality that surrounded you when his eyes stopped looking at yours. This was not easier than last year, you wondered if it will ever be easy. 

“Well, the boys in my class might disagree.” You said, looking straight into his eyes. 

He laughed. “Well boys at that age are dumb.”

“Boys are always dumb.” You said, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Even me?” He asked, batting his eyelashes at you like he was a little girl. 

“Especially you, I bet you don’t know what the hell are you doing right now with my car.” 

Yoongi reached out to try to pinch your knees, but you escaped from his fingers. “God, you’re so mean.” He complained 

“So mean?” You questioned, moving closer to him and pretending to be annoyed.

“Yeah, so mean” He repeated “But not a bitch.” 

You rolled your eyes, watching him turn around again to come back to your car. You can’t help but feel disappointed when he moved away. “So… If you are not a nurse, what are you?” 

You tilted your head, thinking about it. What were you? Well, in your room you were a dancer and in your dreams a mermaid, but in reality you were too embarrassed and too afraid, too insecure to admit what “you were”.

“I don’t know.” You hesitated to answer. You loved Yoongi, in more ways that you could ever allow yourself to love him, but you could not tell him all your dreams just like that. 

“Liar, liar, pants on fire.” He sang, mocking you, but from your position you could only resist pushing him into your car. “You don’t have to say it, I already know.” 

You quirked an eyebrow, curious. “Do you?” A smirk appeared on your face, but he couldn’t see it, he was still working on God knows what. 

“Kind of…” He laughed “I don’t know exactly, but I do know that you are too bright to just be a nurse, with all due respect to the nurses, of course.”

You stared at his back until he turned his head to find your eyes, offering you a soft smile. You mentally cursed him, if he hadn’t turned around you could blush like a teenager without care, but now your cheeks were red and your heart was jumping, the only thing you could hope for was that he couldn’t hear it from where he was standing.

“That isn’t very respectful to nurses.” You simply said, and he shook his head, laughing. 

“Maybe, but I still stand by what I said.” 

“Well, whatever I might be,” You started saying, trying to keep talking with all your feelings still swirling around inside your chest, “I still don’t want to disappoint any more people by making the wrong decision and coming back to live with my mom in six months.”

Yoongi couldn’t help but laugh, not because he was mocking you, but because he couldn’t believe how you couldn’t be at least a little positive, how you were only twenty one and you felt like there was no turning back. 

“Who don't you want to disappoint?” He chuckled, “I really thought you didn’t care about that stuff.”

“I thought so too!” You exclaimed, just as surprised as him. “But I already disappointed my mom, Simon will be disappointed too when he finds out, I’m sure.” 

“God, you’re so wrong, I don’t even know who I’m talking to right now.” He tried to joke, but the feeling of emptiness that had been living in your stomach for the past months didn’t go away just like that. “Do you really think that about your mom?”

“I don’t know!” You said, throwing your arms in the air to be just a little more dramatic that you were already being “But when I told her she made that face that she does when she’s annoyed or upset, now she wants to talk to me about the future every time we sit down to eat, she looks at me like that all the time, like she’s mad with me or something.”

For the past few days you tried to understand your mom, but you failed when you tried to understand yourself. After Simon followed Yoongi to law school, your mom expected you to do something similar, and when you decided to be a nurse she was content enough, both of her kids were off to college now, nothing could go wrong. 

Your mom always bragged that she knew you like the palm of her hand, the only conclusion she could reach when you appeared at your house with the news was that you were never happy with what you had, you always had to have something else, something you couldn’t have. And even if you were about to be mature enough to admit she was right, you knew she wasn’t completely. Yes, you were a brat, but you felt in your heart this time was different. 

 “C’mon, Pinky. I don’t think your mom is disappointed, I’m sure she is just confused. You were two years into college, she must think this came out of nowhere, she’ll have time to understand that it didn’t.” He turned around a pointed a tool hanging on the wall, you didn’t knew the name of it, or what the fuck he was doing with your car, but you handed it to him anyway. “And, she’ll have even more time to understand that you’re not Simon and that her children are two completely different people.”

“Do you think?” You murmured.

“Yes, dummy. And you’re crazy if you think your brother would ever be disappointed in you for something like that, he is the first person that supports you no matter what, he’ll understand that dropping out of college is not the end of the world.” 

You stayed in silence, not daring to say a single word after what he said. You wanted to say that you were tired of all of that, how predictable Yoongi was, how terribly annoying it was for him to always be right. How was it that he always knew what to say? Was it so hard for him to be wrong at least once so you could argue with him? So you could correct him and tell him that he was saying nonsense? Yes, it was. You just rolled your eyes, even if he wasn’t watching you. 

“You’re insufferable.” You said, when what you really wanted to say was just “thank you”, but he understood. 

“Maybe I am.” He laughed, “But at least I’m not the one trying to find excuses to be miserable.” 

You watched him put the tools aside and closed the hood of your car, but you were too focused on something else to ask if your car was okay or not. He grabbed a piece of cloth lying next to you and wiped his hands, “What about my grandma?”  You wondered out loud, like he knew what to do about that as well. 

“You’re seriously not thinking about your grandma right now.”  He leaned over your car, with his arms crossed over his chest while shaking his head disapprovingly. If it was any other guy doing that, you would have told him to get the fuck away from your car, but Yoongi still had his sleeves rolled up, which made you think it was okay for now.

“But I am.” You answered “I can already picture her face when she finds out, I can already hear the comments of her neighbor’s daughter, how she’s on her fourth year of medicine and I’m going back to square one again or some shit like that. The worst thing is that Simon is not here, so I’ll have to endure all of that alone.” 

Yoongi was run by logic most of the time, so it was hard for him to understand how fast your imagination flew, but he knew that was part of your very theatrical self. It wouldn’t hurt him to become a little more like you, maybe being a rational person made him more intelligent, but sometimes made him more of a fool. 

“And since when do you care what your grandma thinks?” He laughed, “She will always have something to complain about, to impress her you would have to be born again, but this time blonde and with blue eyes. Do I need to remind you again, that woman doesn’t have a loving bone in her body?”

“God, stop.” You sighed, fully knowing he was right. 

“You stop.” He laughed, “Stop trying to make everyone happy but yourself.” 

“Well, maybe that’s the hardest thing to do.” You murmured. 

“Getting your shit together is the hardest thing to do, but I’m sure you’ll get there.” 

Believing Yoongi surely is not the hardest thing to do for you, but when it comes to believing in yourself is a whole different thing. 

“Says the man who always has his shit together.” You snorted “Difficult to believe you.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, moving from your car to sit next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk “That’s not true.” He tried to deny it.

“Yeah, sure.” You bumped his shoulder “Name one time you couldn’t balance your personal life with your academic life.”

Yoongi straightened his back, crossing his arms over his chest and pretending to think about it.

“Mmm… Right now?” He murmured.

“Right now?” You repeated, raising your eyebrows in disbelief.

“Yeah, look at me.” He pointed at himself. “I don’t think I have a personal life at this point, all I could think about was finishing early to come home to my mom so I could take care of her, and guess what?”

“What?” You asked, curiously. 

“She told me she already planned a trip with my aunt for both Christmas and new years. She ditched me, and now? I’m alone, I’m starting to think my personal life was just my mom.”

You covered your mouth, not being able to hold yourself back before bursting in laughter. “She ditched you?” You laughed, but he nodded, annoyed that you’re laughing at him. “Oh my God, she got rid of you.”

“She got rid of me.” He affirmed. 

“Lucky her, honestly.” You teased him “Isn’t that proof enough that you have to relax with her? You’re in college worrying about her health and she’s here organizing trips with her sister.”

Yoongi shook his head, still in denial, “Maybe, but she can’t do things like this without letting me know first.” 

“Why not?” You scoffed “She’s an adult, isn’t she?”

“She’s an adult, but I’m her son.” He huffed “And that’s all I’ve ever known to do, care for her.”

“Well, you can take care of her at the same time you take care of yourself.” You reminded him “I’m sure that’s what your mom wants as well, she would be pissed to know you’re forgetting about your own life being busy worrying about her.”

Yoongi knew you were right, he knew that more than anyone but still couldn’t help but worry about his mom. She had her siblings, who always knew how to take care of her, but he always felt like it was his responsibility as her son to do it, no one could take that thought off his mind. The only reason he brought it up was because you asked, but it was not a thing he wanted to discuss right now, he could put his social life on pause if that meant his mom was going to be okay. 

He turned his head at you, offering you an amused grin as he ruffled your hair with his hand, willing to change the topic. “Why are you scolding me? I’m supposed to scold you.”

You pushed his hand off you, “I don’t need you to scold me, I have enough with my mom.” You sighed “Besides, if it were a competition, I would win. At least you have a future, I’m more fucked than you.”

“No, yeah. I’m sure of that.” He teased you back “You just have to make up your mind, I know it’s a mess inside there but I believe you can do it.”

“I hope so.” You said, and this time your words are sincere. “But for now the plan is to survive the holidays, then I can get my shit together.” 

Yoongi laughed, sitting next to you on top of the uncomfortable desk. “Sounds like a good plan to me.” He agreed.  “And you know, about christmas…”

“What about christmas?” You asked, at the risk of looking so visibly lost in his eyes. 

“I was thinking… Since I don’t have any plans for Christmas…” He hesitated to say, lengthening the syllables of his words. “I was thinking… If you want to, I can go with you in place of your brother. You know, so you won’t be alone.”

The offering took you off guard, among all the things Yoongi could tell you, (the realistic ones, not the ones that only happened in your dreams) that was the most surprising. You had spent Christmas with Yoongi in the past, but your heart jumped at the thought of him spending Christmas with you, and not with your brother. Was he serious?

“Really?” You asked, afraid that he could see the excitement in your eyes  “Would you do that?”

“Of course.” He smiled, “We can talk shit about your grandma together.” 

You can hardly hide the smile on your face, you have to suppress the immense urge you have to hug him. “In that case, I would love it if you come.” You dared to admit “I mean, you owe me that for fucking up my car again.” You pointed at your car, already knowing that he couldn’t fix it. 

He closed his eyes shut, throwing his head back “God, I’m sorry.”

Present

You had been wishing to sleep in your childhood bedroom for the past two months. You had been wishing to lay under the baby blue covers, have your mom kiss you goodnight and sleep a nap long enough to heal your heart. 

You had been feeling like you were thirteen again for the whole year, thirteen and completely clueless, thirteen and scared, running home because you just saw your brother’s best friend kissing a girl at the bus stop, hiding under the covers and trying to forget that you were thirteen and there was no way he could ever see you the same way as that girl. 

The last time that you visited your mom’s house was a year ago. You texted her every week, sent her and your brother gifts and tickets so they could see you in the current play you were in, but visiting her house was harder than it looked for you. You managed to come once every few years for thanksgiving, telling your mom that you were busy and that theater life was like that, but the truth was that after so many years you still couldn’t find the courage to spend more than two days in the town you grew up in, not after everything, not after Yoongi. 

After so long, you were back where you started, running home after hitting a wall. The life you built with your own hands, the life that was supposed to be your dream turned out to be a lie, the boyfriend of three years you thought you loved was now gone, and the only person who ended up breaking your heart was yourself. 

When was the moment you stopped calling you brother every three days? Or when you stopped showing up at every birthday? When was the moment you got so far from the person you used to be? You weren’t thirteen anymore, you were twenty five and just now you realized that no matter how many shiny people you have around, you are still alone and far from home. 

Now you were headed home, with a bag full of clothes in the trunk of your car, prepared to install yourself in your mom’s house for the rest of the winter, determined to get your shit together, just like you thought you did a few years ago. Oh, how you wished you didn’t have to do this, how you wished you weren’t a complete mess. You wished you could enter your mother’s home and ignore the fact that you didn’t remember when was the last time you told her I love you, but to be fair with yourself, you didn’t remember the last time someone told you I love you either. 

Your mom knew you were coming, she was the first one who knew about your break up with Ian, your boyfriend, so she was assuming that you were sad and heart broken, and even if that was true, it wasn’t because of the break up, you were the one who left him. 

You didn’t know why, but you assumed that Ian understood what your relationship was, a sad pact that benefited both of your acting careers, a good image for the media, both of the most successful young actors being allegedly in love, and for you, just an arrangement to avoid being alone. How surprised you were when he got down on one knee and proposed, with his mom’s ring on one hand and a bunch of your so-called friends hiding in the distance, preparing to celebrate when you were supposed to say ‘yes’. He had a smile on his face, convinced that wasn’t the worst idea that ever crossed his mind. You thought it was clear that you never wanted to marry him, you believed you found someone who loved you enough not to leave you alone but not enough to marry you. God, you sounded crazy, but that was what you became, a superficial celebrity whose whole life was calculated enough so people thought it was perfect.

You felt like shit when you had to say no to Ian, but you had no other option. Everything was so fake it made you want to throw up, and on top of that, he was the asshole who didn’t even bother to invite your family to, what was supposed to be, your engagement party. If you were to say yes, where was your mom to hug you? Or to tell you that you were being mental for marrying someone you didn’t love? That was the moment when you knew you were about to lose it, that’s when you knew that if you stayed there you would’ve lost your mind, and you were so close to doing it, the only thing that finally woke you up was a marriage proposal. 

You turned right, immediately recognizing you were close to home. You had to start doing things right, but where do you begin?

Four years ago

When you arrived home, the realization that almost every person in your life had found someone except you hit you. It started when your best friend, Emma, finally got a girlfriend last summer, then it followed with your brother spending the holidays with his new girlfriend, and now, to your complete surprise, you had to find out that even your mother was seeing someone for the first time in years. 

Yes, at first you thought it was going be to weird to see your mother leaving you every afternoon to have dinner with her new boyfriend, -whom she refused to present to you just yet-, but after the first week of cooking for yourself to sit in the kitchen island and eating while watching a random youtube video, you realized it was not weird, but it was making you feel extremely lonely. Love seemed to be everywhere around you, but not for you.

That afternoon you helped her do the groceries, but she had already warned you that, once again, you were going to have to cook for yourself since she was not going to be around tonight. 

All your friends from home were still away and they weren’t coming back for another two weeks, so you were almost completely alone in your hometown. And without you wanting it, only one particular name swirled in your mind, wondering if he was as lonely as you were, which he probably was, but you didn’t want any part of it. You were still trying not to look around too much in the grocery line hoping to see a familiar face, forcing yourself not to look up when you knew you were passing his street. You promised that you weren’t going to wait to see him again, as if that way you could prove something to yourself.  

You expected Yoongi to disappear only to see him again the day before Christmas, you were sure he wasn’t going to appear at your doorstep like that morning, it wasn’t going to happen, you convinced yourself of it. Because of that, on the way home when you were riding in your mom’s car as you came back from the store, you thought that maybe you were just hallucinating when you saw him waiting in your driveway.  

Your mom got down from the car first, you watched her giving him a hug and then observed them talking, you were sure he was going to offer to help with the bags and you were sure your mom was going to smile and accept his help. Your mom loved Yoongi, and Yoongi loved your mom, you could see it. When Yoongi was a kid and his mother had to spend long days at the hospital your mom always opened the doors of your house so he wouldn’t be alone. Like you, Yoongi grew up without a dad, so his mom was lucky to have your mom to look out for him when she wasn’t around. 

You mustered courage and got down, surrounding the car to get to the trunk where the bags were and finding him with his arms already busy. 

“Hi, Pinky.” He let out and in the cold you could see his breath. His nose was red and his eyes crystallized from the weather. 

You barely got to open your mouth to greet him before your mom spoke. “Yoongi was looking for you.” She told you as she headed to the porch.

“Really?” You wanted to know, just in case your mom was lying, for some reason.

“Yeah, really.” He answered, watching you grab the last two bags and closing the trunk of the car. “Do you have any plans tonight?” 

Your heels suddenly dug into the ground, making you stop dead to check if you heard that right. Yoongi didn’t notice, he started to walk backwards, heading towards the door as he looked at you and invited you to follow him. You took the first step, not knowing what to say, not knowing how to react. Did you have any plans tonight? For a second your mind went blank, completely forgetting you had a date with Robert Pattinson as Edward Cullen in Breaking Dawn at nine pm. 

You avoid his gaze, trying to come up with an answer. “Do you have any friends?” You asked. Classic you, insulting him in case he noticed your face was two seconds away from burning red. You heard your mom grunt as she entered through the door, but Yoongi just laughed. 

“Do you?” He attacked back, smirking “Going to the store with your mom on a friday night, I thought you were popular in high school.” 

“I was not, you must have confused me with my brother, we have the same nose.” You scoffed, walking with him to your house “And I do have friends, they’re just not around.” 

“So you don’t have plans.” Yoongi confirmed for himself, letting you enter through the door first. 

“No, not really.” You admitted, leading him to the kitchen to leave the bags on the counter. “Why? Did you want to take me out?”

The question was intended to come out as a joke, but it burned on your tongue. You often tortured yourself with those kinds of comments, but his answer was worse than any kind of cruel joke you could’ve made to yourself.

“Yes.” He said, leaving his bags next to yours. “That’s what I was thinking before you made fun of me for not having friends.”

You stayed quiet, pretending to look for something in the bags, pretending you weren’t screaming in your mind. Why on earth was he here? Why was he torturing you this way? You were enough of a mess, the last thing you needed was this, bringing you more torment than you already had. 

You sighed, quickly coming up with another answer “Sorry I can’t retract myself.” You said. “But what were you thinking that was so important for you to come to my house instead of texting?”

“I was afraid that if I texted you would’ve said no.” He admitted.

You arched an eyebrow “Why?” You questioned. 

“Because… I saw that the theater is doing a Christmas special, and they’re showing Home Alone tonight.” 

“Which theater?” You asked, but you were fully aware which one was. 

“You know, the one near the park with the weird fountains.” He said, confirming what you were thinking. 

You wondered what to say next. There you had Yoongi, inviting you to watch a movie with him, ‒your favorite movie to be more specific‒ but at the place you used to secretly go to theater classes when you were thirteen until you finished highschool. You knew the place had those kinds of events where they showed old movies following a theme, as Christmas approached they never failed to show Home Alone as many times as they could. 

Would it be so bad for him to find out that you used to be obsessed, maybe still were, with musicals? You never told him about that, let alone about the classes, that was something you used to keep to yourself and no one else, so going out with him meant to out yourself to him. It was inevitable for people to recognize you there, you knew a lot of your friends from back then were still very attached to the place, unlike you, who decided to leave everything behind once you left for college to be someone you didn’t want to be. 

“I don’t know, I allow myself to watch Home Alone only once a year.” You tried to excuse yourself.

“I know that, that’s why I came here instead of texting” He said, “But I’ve come up with a solution, I tell you this, we can go and watch Home Alone tonight, and on Christmas we watch Home Alone 2.” He offered, but you felt offended he even dared to mention Home Alone 2. 

“I don’t like Home Alone 2.” You reminded him. “I think it’s un-”

“Unrealistic that they lose Kevin twice, yeah, yeah, I know!” He interrupted you, stealing the words from your mouth. “But I like Home Alone 2, I think it’s still a good Christmas movie.” You stared at him with narrowed eyes, pretending to think about it, as if your heart was strong enough to even try to say no to him, even if that meant you had to go back to the place where you used to be a completely different person from who you were in school, and most importantly, even if that meant you would have to watch Home Alone 2. It was painful to admit that you already knew your answer when you saw him in your driveway. “Don’t be boring, Pinky. I’ve already got tickets.”

Just for a moment, while the dim lights of your kitchen lighted up his eyes as they begged you to go with him, you wished you had plans that evening already. You took a second to imagine a scenario where you told him that you weren’t free that night, that someone was going to pick you up later. You tried to imagine his face when you told him that you were in fact going out on a date with some other dude and pictured him heartbroken because you rejected him. But of course that wasn’t the case, your friends from college used to joke around and say that men ran away from you and only the brave ones were capable of asking you out, there was no way you were going out with someone who knew you in high school. And even if that were true, you lived in a reality where Yoongi wouldn’t flinch if you told him you were going out with someone else, a reality where you could never reject him. There was a part of you who enjoyed the pain of coming back to him, of being around him and living with the knowledge that at some point you'll have to get over him.

“Fine.” You finally gave in “I guess I could watch Home Alone 2 on Christmas” 

He smiled victoriously, raising his fists in the air like he won some trophy.

You didn’t know what was worse, whether to have him around or not see him at all, you knew that the safest option was not seeing him, but your poor heart didn’t seem to understand that it was for the best. 

Present

When you parked your car, you realized you didn’t have the keys to your house anymore. You were sure they were somewhere in your apartment back in the city, but even if you had remembered to look for them, you wouldn’t have found them, you had no idea where they were. It has been a long time since you thought about putting foot in your home, your real home, not the one back in the city, with countless empty rooms you had never used. They keys to your home, where were they? You bitterly laughed as you walked towards the porch, with your bags in your hands and your heart on your sleeve, that was how disconnected to the place where you grew up in you were. 

The little pumpkins your mom put on the porch reminded you that the last time you were home was also october. The play you were in last fall was just about to end and you visited home for a weekend just to ask your mom to go and see you for your final performance. You remembered how angry you felt when she told you she and Phil, her boyfriend, had already planned a trip to Scotland for that same weekend. It took you a whole year ‒or even more‒ to realize that while you were busy living your life, your family was doing the same thing, you disappeared for months and they had no other choice but to keep going without you. 

You stood in front of the big wood door for a few seconds, feeling like some prodigal daughter, until you decided to finally ring the bell. 

As soon as your mom opened the door and you caught the surprised look on her face, you knew you weren’t supposed to be there, at least not yet. 

“Darling! What…?” She breathed out as if she had seen a ghost, but to be fair you weren't far from looking like one, you didn’t remember the last time you had a proper sleep. “What are you doing here?”

You shrugged, not knowing if she was joking “I called you on the phone last month, don’t you remember?” You asked. The surprise on your mom’s face morphed into confusion, and for some reason it made your chest hurt a little. 

“You told me you were coming Friday the 5th.” She said, but she didn’t move from the door, as if you were about to turn around, leave and come back for the date she thought you were coming.

“That’s… today.” You reminded her.

She frowned, raising her left arm to check the apple watch on her wrist, the one you gave her as a present for mother’s day a few months ago, immediately realizing that you were right. “God, where’s my mind?” She exclaimed, cleaning her hands on the apron she was wearing to grab one of your bags from your hand, finally leaning back to let you in. “Sorry darling, I don’t know what I was thinking when you called me.” 

“It’s okay.” You said, more to yourself than to her, closing the door behind you “These days my mind is nowhere near, either.”

“No, it’s not okay. I can’t believe it flew over my head like that.” She kept complaining, taking off your coat for you to hang it on the coat rack “Do you have any more bags?”

You nodded “In the car.” 

“Okay, let’s go grab them later.” She said, turning around to head towards the kitchen with a quick pace. “Follow me darling, I’m about to finish cooking, you arrived just in time for lunch.” 

Well, your mom always seemed to be in a hurry, she was like every other mom after all, but today she looked more rushed than usual, making you wonder if your arrival was that unexpected, did you suddenly ruin her Friday just by appearing at her doorstep? The answer wasn’t clear to you, when she turned around you lost the chance to say that she shouldn’t worry since you were planning to spend the whole weekend in your room.. Now you were just trying not to look disappointed when she didn’t give you a hug as she disappeared into the kitchen.

You followed her, taking off your converse and throwing them somewhere in the hall. Your mom had enough energy for you both, it was like she forgot that you had been driving all morning to get there, maybe she thought you arrived on a jet, you didn’t know. You thought your tired face was sign enough that all you needed was a hot shower and a long nap. 

“What am I gonna do?” She murmured to herself, still trying to wrap her head around the fact that you were there earlier. “Your room isn’t ready yet!” 

You scowled, sitting on one of the kitchen stools. “What do you mean my room isn’t ready?” 

“We’ve been using it as a storage room lately, until Phil adjusts himself.” She told you, but you didn’t understand a word she said. Storage room? Why was your mom’s boyfriend using your bedroom as a storage room? 

“Mom, what are you talking about?” 

“I’m sure I told you!” 

You shook your head “Tell me what?”

She tilted her head with her mouth hanging open. You visibly saw her trying to remember something, filling the room with silence. Then, it hit her, her silence suddenly broke into laughter, she realized that, whatever was she was talking about, she didn’t tell you, you just didn’t know what. “Darling, Phil moved in september, how come we didn’t talk about this?” She let out, wondering out loud. “We are still getting the hang of it, he still has a lot of boxes, we decided to put it in your room for now.” She explained, like it was nothing, but you knew it wasn’t. It took her a long time before she introduced you to Phil, she always made it clear to him that her priority was her kids, so it was a big step for her to let Phil move in. 

You shook your head, immediately avoiding her gaze when you felt a sudden rush of guilt washing over your body when you tried to remember when was the last time you spoke with your mom on the phone apart from last month, when you told her you were coming today. 

“Oh, mom, I had no idea.” You said as if you were apologizing, you kinda were. “I’m gonna start looking for somewhere else to crash, I still don’t know for how long I’m staying.” 

She waved her hands, rushing to interrupt you “My God, sweetie, no! You know you can stay here for as long as you want, this is your house!” She said, but you struggled to believe her “But I really thought you were coming next Friday! When was your last show?”

God, the last thing you wanted to think about now was work.

“Just last week.” You replied, hoping that she wouldn't want to comment too much about it. 

“How was it?” She continued to ask, going against your wishes.

Terrible, you wanted to say, you couldn’t wait to get off the stage. You did your job and you left, all your partners begged you to stay for the after party but you were exhausted, you left as soon as you could. That was supposed to be an important moment for you, the wrap up of your first main role, a clear achievement of your short career. After you did the first show of the season you went to bed wishing it could last forever, but last week you were just relieved that it finally ended. 

You wouldn’t tell that to your mom, you didn’t want to worry her, so you just told her a little white lie. 

“Oh, it was great.” You smiled, hoping that in that way it would be more believable. “I had a great time, but I needed to come back home for a while.”

“Well, you worked hard, now you deserve to rest” She said “And besides that… how have you been, huh?” She asked with a soft voice, making you raise your gaze to find her warm eyes and a warm smile. You failed to remember that you couldn’t lie to your mom, she always saw through you, and to be honest she would be a fool not to notice the tired look on your face. It bothered you just a bit that the main reason why she was asking about it was because of the breakup.

“Why, because of Ian?” You asked. 

“No just because of him, just… how have you been about everything?” 

“Well, fine, I think so.” You kept lying “Me and him… I don’t know, I don’t think I felt the same way about him anymore, I had to end it, I’m sure he deserves someone who feels the same, right?”

She hummed, not really convinced. “You deserve someone like that, too, don’t you think?” 

“Maybe.” You sighed “But that topic gives me headaches.” 

Your mother snorted, “Well, don’t expect me to be satisfied with that answer, after you take a nap I’m gonna ask you all about that.” 

“How nosy.” You chuckled. “You just want to talk shit about your ex son in law.”

“Of course, don’t act like you don’t want to do that too, I know you too well.” You rolled your eyes, but of course she was right. “Anyway, since I thought you were coming next week I planned a dinner for tonight with everyone, they’ll be so happy to see you, but you know, I understand if you want to skip it with everything that’s happening, I’m sure no one will ask about it, but still. You came here to be alone so I don’t want you to feel overwhelmed around a lot of people.”

“Ask about what? The news isn’t out yet” You asked, confused. 

Your mom turned around again, looking as confused as you. “Haven’t you checked your phone today?” She asked cautiously.

“No, it died a few hours ago. I haven't had the chance to charge it in the car.” Your words made her confused expression fade into a concerned one.

“Darling, you might want to check it now.” She pointed to the charger that was connected next to the fridge. The look on her face could only mean that something wasn’t okay.

You slowly got off the stool, heading towards the other side of the room as you took your phone from your pocket to connect it to the charger. You knew it was just a matter of time until people found out that you and Ian broke up, but you thought the news would’ve be handled the same way as always, a statement from both you, the only reason why you didn’t do it yet was because you and Ian weren’t talking since the proposal happened. 

When your phone finally turned on, a rush of anxiety ran down your body when a thousand notifications began to appear on the screen, including fifty missed calls from both your manager and publicist, you had a feeling that maybe the situation was worse than you thought. “What the fuck happened?” You murmured to yourself, looking at your mother in search for answers. “Did Sally call you?” You asked her, fully knowing that Sally, your manager, had strict orders not to bother anyone in your family with calls about anything related to work. 

The room suddenly fell in silence, your mom hesitated to answer, you knew she didn’t want to be the one to give you bad news.

“No, but a friend of mine sent me an article.” She explained, her voice suddenly sounding small. “I didn’t read it, you know, I didn’t even open it, I don’t like gossip.”

Your mind tried to put two and two together; missed calls from your manager, an article about you, gossip, that didn’t sound fucking right. 

“Fuck, I have to call her.” You gritted your teeth, wasting no time marking her number. You felt your head swirling just by imagining the sound of her voice yelling at you for not answering her calls. 

Less than five seconds later, like she was waiting by the phone, she picked up. “Fucking finally.” Was the first thing you heard, “Where the fuck were you?”

The irritated tone on her voice took you by surprise, making you jump in you place “Driving, for four fucking hours.” You rushed to say “My phone was dead, what is going on?” 

You heard her inhale, trying to keep her calm “Every single person in the world is trying to reach me right now except you. It’s a mess.”

“What?” You try not to yell “I just got home, I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Honey, it got leaked, has no one told you yet?”

Then, a beat of silence. The stress on her voice is enough to make you believe her, you didn’t have to think twice. Of course something like this was going to happen to you, you couldn’t run away from the city and pretend everything behind was going to stay as it was, your life from six hours ago was still there, and it was still a fucking mess.  

“What part?” Was the only thing you could say. You felt yourself entering a cloud of uncertainty, your fist clenched on your lap and while you listened to her sighing, preparing you for the answer, you held your breath as if that way you could stop time.

“Everything.” She spat. “Listen, I didn’t want to freak you out with this, I tried to keep this situation on the low but it happened anyway. The story’s out, pictures are out, every fucking thing is out.”

You suddenly tense, feeling your heart dropping to the pit of your stomach

“What? What do you-?” You stuttered. 

“I know you didn’t want anyone to find out about the proposal but it's the main headline, sweetie.”

Sally is not someone who’s known for sugarcoating her words, she was straightforward and didn’t mind being the person who delivered bad news, but today you could tell she was especially stressed, you were sure she was trying to handle this issue alone with you being gone for hours. 

“Fuck.” You hissed “What about him, have you called his manager?”

“Of course I called his manager, but all of a sudden that prick doesn’t want to collaborate with me on this, apparently Ian doesn’t fucking care, how about that?”

“How come he doesn’t care?” You asked exasperatedly.

“That’s the idea that I got when his manager told me to manage this issue myself.” 

You pinched the bridge of your nose, taking a deep breath as you took a moment to think about it. You knew Ian well enough, but you always held onto a kind version of him, the version of him who made you stay for so long, the version of him you chose to remember so your memories weren't all bad, but that version made you felt guilty for the question that was rotting on your mouth, waiting to be spat. 

“Do you think it was him?” You asked her, but her bitter laugh on the other line made you realize it wasn’t a difficult question to answer. 

“I mean, would that be so crazy?” She said “You and I are pretty sure who called the people to take those pictures. He's not happy, honey, to him this is just payback for what you did.”

That word echoed in your mind for longer than you would’ve wanted to, was that the way he decided to put this to an end? Payback? 

Four weeks ago, you thought that was it. When you were at the backyard of the house of Ian’s grandparents and you saw him on his knees, asking you to marry him, you thought that was the moment when every bad decision you ever made caught up to you, when everything exploded in your face. Now you realized it didn’t end there, everything you’ve done still has consequences.

You closed your eyes, trying to ignore your mom’s eyes in the back of your neck. You left the room, coming back to the hall so you could be alone. You couldn’t just hang the phone and pretend none of that happened, as tempting as it sounded, you had to take care of it. “Okay, now what? Can you clean it?” 

“I’ve been trying, but it can’t disappear, you know? It’s been up for a few hours.” She replied. 

You nodded, as if she could see you “Okay, listen, it doesn’t matter. I can’t deal with this right now, I don’t care where it came from, I don’t care how the pictures look, what people are saying, I don’t want to know any of it. If people saw it, I don’t give a fuck, it’s me who doesn’t want to see it.” You firmly said “If the story’s out, fine, but I don’t want any major media posting the pictures, can you do that?” 

You heard her humming “Mmm, are you sure you want to handle it in that way? No statement to the media? No post on instagram? Just radio silence?”

The thought of making a statement about your relationship in public made you want to throw up, “Are you kidding?” You laughed “There’s no way I’m making a statement about this if you can’t even get Ian’s manager on the phone for him to do the same. If I say anything about this and he stays quiet I’m going to look worse of a villain than I already am for rejecting him.”

“Honey, I don’t think you understand this.” She stopped you, “This isn’t just news that you broke up, this is news that he proposed to his girlfriend of three years and she said fucking no, a.k.a a scandal.”

You rolled your eyes, wanting to curse her for treating you like a five year old child. “No, hear me out, I’m not playing his game anymore.”

“You’re not the one who’s playing his game, he’s the one playing in yours.” She emphasized, “Let me be clear with this, and I’m trying to be nice even though I’ve been working all morning to get this to disappear just for you. You were the one who decided that the relationship was going to have this kind of publicity, you can’t back down now. This could harm your image, you need to make a statement whether he does the same or not.”

You stopped for a second, hating how right she was. Every bit of your relationship with Ian was out to the public, that was the whole point of it from the beginning. Your image as an actress wasn’t entirely constructed by your work,  you took charge into making every piece of your private life part of it too, you sold it of your life to the public. After so many years of sharing everything with the media and fans, you knew it would be strange to stay in silence now, but in a matter of seconds the words piled up in your mind, making you see how ridiculously soulless a statement like that would look, lying about how much love and respect you held for Ian but at the end it didn’t work out, that you decided to stay as friends since you still loved each other so much, when the truth was that he was the one who leaked the pictures in the first place. 

You were once again reminded to face the consequences, and that was what you were about to do. 

“Sorry, Sally, but I'm not making a statement.” You let out, nervously tapping your foot against the floor “I started it, you’re right, but now I’ve decided to end this here. This is my private life we’re talking about, let me keep this thing to myself. The only thing that they need to know is that we’re no longer together, and from now on the only information they’ll get of me is about my work, are we clear?”

Your whole body shook in anticipation, expecting her to yell at you and tell you to do whatever she said, because you knew she knew better. You hoped she somehow didn’t see through your mask, you weren’t as hard as you wanted to sound, you weren’t as confident as you wanted to be. For years working with her you trusted her advice against all odds, and you knew she always meant well, she was just doing her job, but at this exact moment in your life you needed to stay silent.

She hesitated to answer, battling with herself and the love she had for you. “Look kid,” She said “I’m going to let you do what you want, but if this doesn’t end well I’m going to look for you in whatever farm you’re staying in right now and I’m going to strangle you, now are we clear?” She asked, repeating your last words. 

It took you a second to understand what she just said, you felt so anxious you didn’t understand if she was giving you a green light or not. When you snapped out of it, you realized it was the closest you’ve felt to be relieved. 

 “We are clear.” You confirmed. 

“I sure hope so.” You heard her sighing once again “I’ll make it disappear and you make sure to keep your phone close in case something happens. Can you do that?”

“Yeah, sure, I’m sorry for the trouble.”

“It’s fine.” She brushed it off “At least you’re not dead, I would’ve felt guilty for cursing you so much.”

“God, maybe the news of my death would make the news about the proposal disappear.” You tried to joke, fighting against the horrible feeling you still had on your stomach. 

“Okay, kid. I’m hanging up before you get more morbid. Take care, okay?”

You chuckled quietly, “Thank you, Sally” You said before she hung up “Really, I appreciate it.” 

The call ended, leaving your ears ringing and your heart hammering against your chest. You stayed in the hall, sitting on the first steps of the stairs and trying to make sense of what just happened. 

You were aware that Ian was angry at you, you couldn’t tell if you broke his heart but you knew that you hurt his ego, and somehow that was worse. You had to admit that your ego was as big as his, so you understood he had to do the same thing to you. Sally was right, you led yourself to this, you managed the circus that was your public life and you were the one who chose him to cover up how miserable you felt. You still felt your blood boiling just by thinking how cruel it was what he did, and at the same time you couldn’t allow yourself to be angry at him because you thought you had it coming.

You thought you were so stupid for thinking that once you got here you were going to be okay, as if you could run away from yourself, as this house was a bunker, protecting you from everything you ever did. Suddenly, you felt all your emotions stacking up your throat, you felt your eyes burning before your whole face was soaked with hot tears of regret, you didn’t even remember when was the last time you cried, that’s how fucked up you were. 

You covered your face, sobbing against your palms as you tried to calm yourself, remembering your mom was waiting for you in the kitchen and you had to come back to be a functioning person, but before you could, you heard her steps approaching you, gasping when she found you crying. 

“Darling, what happened?” She asked, the concern in her voice made your heart hurt.

You quickly wiped your tears with the sleeves of your sweater as you watched her kneel beside you. “Nothing, just…” You tried to lie, but what was the use of that? She would know, and you were still going to continue carrying the pain on your chest for the rest of the day. You shook your head, feeling her thumbs wiping your tears from your face.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.” She whispered, like it was a secret between the two of you. “It’s about the article, right?” You nodded. 

“It’s…” You inhaled, trying to catch your breath. “It’s about more than that.” 

And then, the truth. As if you were a criminal caught in the scene of the crime, you had to tell the truth. 

After you spent the whole afternoon trying to explain to your mom what was going on with your life, nothing could erase the worried look on her face, looking at you like you were thirteen and you had the flu, wanting to take care of you until it went away. 

You felt ashamed, but you couldn’t keep lying to her, not completely at least. You had to tell her that you were never really in love but you felt so alone back in the city, you didn’t have anyone else. Most of your friends were fake, you were tired and sometimes overworked, not even your job was making up for the miserable life you were living anymore. You knew Ian was seeing other women and you couldn’t even find it in yourself to confront him about it, terrified that he’ll leave you in your big apartment alone. Your mom listened with a frown on her face, confused, asking why you never told her, asking why you never called, and you felt so embarrassed, so guilty for disappearing for so long. 

“I’m sorry” was the only thing you could say, and even though she waved it off and said that you didn’t have to apologize for anything, you knew that wasn’t real. You had a bunch of this to apologize for, you didn’t even know where to begin.

After a shower, she offered her room for you to take a nap, and as you got into her bed, she sat next to you, hugging you for the first time in months. 

You breathed out against her chest, feeling like a kid again around her arms. It was like she was trying to extract the sadness out of your body, and maybe it worked for now. 

“You’re still invited to join us for dinner tonight, you know?” She murmured “I know you’re sad but it’s just us, maybe it’ll cheer you up.”

You nodded, “I’ll think about it, is that okay?”

“Of course, darling.” She smiled, kissing your forehead before getting up to leave.

Before she opened the door, you stopped her.  

“Wait mom, who’s coming?” You asked before she disappeared from your sight.

She turned to you again, smiling. “Your brother, of course.” She said “He’s bringing Yoongi and his mom, I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you.”

You snapped your eyes open, but before your mom could see your reaction she disappeared through the door, leaving you alone and with your heart clenched in your fist. 

@kingofbodyrolls @tea4sykes @overtherainbow35 @namin13 @p34rluv @moonchild1 @oukya @yoongisoftface @namgihours @honsoolgloss @idkjustlovingbts @loviyunki @yoongisducky @bangtansmauyeondan @tarahardcore @wobblewobble822 @secfir @ot72025 @baechugff @hopefulchick @heroinanne

[naffeclipse]

Talk about your monster husband ocs coward (affectionate❤️)

Everyone, the tumblr user themeeplord is bullying me (affectionate <3)!!

You have no idea how normal I am about my monster OCs. They're so lovely just let me—ahhh!

Hawthorn is a Mothman monster. His wings are based on the garden tiger moth and he is so fluffy! He has a thick fuzz on his neck and chest and is a warm, cuddlebug. He also possesses bright orange eyes that pierce the darkness and startle the unfortunate late-night hikers or anyone piercing into the woods after midnight.

He has a thing for hanging out in the thick woods near where the MC lives. Wherever he goes, bad omens follow. He really shouldn't be near MC—he knows he'll be the death of his precious little human, but he can't help it. He's drawn to the MC like a moth to a flame (heheh). He's delightful and gentlemanly, but don't let that fool you. He's got a possessive stretch a mile wide and does not take kindly to anyone giving the MC looks or reaching out for a too-familiar touch. He will bristle and buzz, and fly swift and silent through the darkness to chase after anyone to ensure the MC stays all to himself. He is a bad omen, after all.

Grease is an oil demon! He feeds off of fear, literally, and delights in terrifying people in the night. His body is slick and iridescent, and he is constantly dripping black goo from his person. He is capable of shifting his form to hide in a puddle, slink underneath doors, or bubble through a crack in a broken window. He's got wicked sharp teeth, and eyes like a tiger but with a pale, unsettling blue color. He possesses tendrils on his head that constantly drip and a long, slick tail that he can use to grab MC by the ankle. He's terribly seductive and charming, terrifying but mischievous. He likes to say 'boo' just to watch MC jump. Of course, he's not all tang and salt. He's got a sweet side that rouses in a protectiveness over MC. He's possessive, sure, and he's marked his claim with the oil stains on MC's work apron, but he's got an ooey-gooey center of sweetness that MC occasionally finds when he blushes at a stray touch or a nice comment about him.

Calmo 91, otherwise just called Calmo, is a robot. Constructed in the 90s with a box TV screen head to match, he has bright yellow optics in the screen face along with thick wires falling behind his head in a ponytail-like fashion. He is cool and difficult to read but wickedly intelligent and learning much about humans and affections. His body is a thin endoskeleton with plastic matt gray coverings that give peeks of blue, red, and yellow wires at his metallic joints. He's got a mysterious past the MC is attempting to unravel that he truly wishes the MC would leave be. He's got much to learn about technology but he quickly figures out how to connect to the MC's phone for texting, phone calls, and other useful things of course, like keeping tags on where MC is and monitoring MC's heart rate. Useful tools. Modern technology. Living in the MC's house, he gets to spend more domestic time with the human he decided is kind and generous, but the MC occasionally finds him at the foot of the bed in the darkness, his yellow optics strangely switched to red until the MC says his name and his optics revert back to yellow again.

[igetthedisneybox]

Addams Family/ Wednesday OC's for Halloween

When I was a kid, I always just kind of...assumed that Wednesday had cousins named after the other days of the week.

So here are some OC's based on the poem that Wednesday's name is from. (I gave them different names than the days)

Belladonna Carmilla Angelo Addams

She is based on the first line, "Monday's Child is Fair of Face"

Her face claim is TajFaerie (linked to her instagram)

Her name means "beautiful woman" and is the name of a toxic plant

Her aesthetic is Victorian Goth

Her favorite color is blood red

She is a year older than Wednesday

She loves fashion, and expressing herself through said fashion

She is a hopeless romantic, especially for tragic love stories

She's very over dramatic, and treats personal matters with great importance

She'll sometimes speak in French of Italian, just so nobody else can understand her

She can be jaded at times, especially when it comes to holding grudges

She likes classical music, love ballads, alternative pop, and pop punk

One of her mothers is a vampire, so while she isn't one, she participates in vampire culture, such as drinking animal blood, avoiding sunlight and garlic, etc etc

She fell in love with Bianca Barclay at first sight

She's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

Odile Lilith Frump

She is based on the second line, "Tuesday's Child is Full of Grace"

Her face claim is Elle Fanning

Her name means "heritage" and is the name of the black swan in Swan Lake

Her aesthetic is a mix of Circus Freak and Dark Ballerina

Her favorite color is vomit yellow

She is the same age as Wednesday

She's run away to join the circus twelve times, and they send her back every time

She has joint hypermobility, which means she can move like a horror movie ghost. Which she does. To freak people out

She's a prankster, and just loves to fuck with people

She's very family-oriented. You fuck with one Addams, you fuck with them all

She likes alternative music, music box covers, circus music, and classical ballet pieces

Her passion is dancing, but she also enjoys knife throwing, tightrope walking, and other acrobatics

She's a fan of revenge and punishment, just like her cousin

She's related to Wednesday on Morticia's side.

Victoria "Ick" Elvira Addams

She is based on the fourth line, "Thursday's Child Has Far to Go"

Her face claim is Mackenzie Foy

Her full name means "victory," but the shortened form (her preferred name) is a sound of disgust

Her aesthetic is Punk Rock

Her favorite color is ooze green

She is the same age as Wednesday

She has a band with her brothers and sister, where she's the lead guitarist and singer

She's very level-headed, calm, and just generally chill to be around

She takes matters of social justice very seriously, and has a police record (she has it framed in her dorm)

She likes punk music (duh) but also dabbles in rock, heavy metal, 80's, 90's, and alternative

She's aromantic, but not asexual

She was adopted by the Addams when she was six. She wandered into their house one day and just...never left

She butts heads with Wednesday the most out of all the cousins

She's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

Briar Winter Addams

She is based on the fifth line, "Friday's Child is Loving and Giving"

Her face claim is Isabela Merced

Her name means "thorn," and is a reference to the Sleeping Beauty fairytale

Her aesthetic is Dark Fairytale

Her favorite color is dusk purple

She is a year younger than Wednesday

She has narcolepsy, and suffers from excessive sleepiness, fainting spells, and muscle weakness

She likes to brew antidotes for venom and poisonous plants, just in case

She likes to see the best in almost everyone, and those she can't, she poisons (mostly non-fatally. Mostly)

Like Bella, she's a hopeless romantic, and dreams of a knight in shining armor who will sweep her off of her feet

She likes creepy lullabies and alternative pop

She gives dried and dead flowers to people when they're sad

She loves moths

She's asexual, but not aromantic

She has a crush on Xavier Thorpe

She's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

Shelly Frump

She is based on the sixth line, "Saturday's Child Works Hard for a Living."

Her face claim is Yasmin Finney

Her name means "clearing," and is a reference to Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein

Her aesthetic is Dark Academia

Her favorite color is midnight blue

She is a year younger than Wednesday

She's part giant, and is almost six feet tall

She takes her schooling very seriously, and refuses to miss a day of class

She's a living factoid machine, and knows a little bit about everything

She feels like her parents prefer her older sister, Mary, and so is very insecure

She likes lo-fi beats to study too, classical music, and 80's and 90's alternative

She's very shy, and doesn't like talking or interacting with people much

She is very good at mind games. She can fuck you up mentally

She and Eugene Ottinger are a little too close to be regular friends

She's related to Wednesday on Morticia's side.

Zander Adams

He is based on the seventh line, "But the Child Born on the Sabbath Day, Is Blithe and Bonny and Good and Gay."

His face claim is Omar Rudberg

Her name means "defender," and is the name of an actual Addams Family member, mentioned in the animated movie

His aesthetic is Grunge

His favorite color is fire orange

He is a year younger than Wednesday

His mother changed their last name from 'Addams' to 'Adams' to differentiate themselves from the family

He was raised as a normie, and any outcast (or autistic) traits he showed were punished

He and Briar were very close as small children, as their fathers were blood brothers

He starts off disliking his cousins and the other outcasts, but realizes that they are more welcoming and understanding than his mother

He likes alternative, 80's, 90's, and punk

He ends up having a thing for Tyler Galpin

He's related to Wednesday on Gomez's side.

[dollhouseassets]

˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Freak-ify Britney CAS Challenge ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

by @puppycheesecake. Thank you for making the challenge, it was pretty fun! There's some trivia and a little bonus under the cut.

I couldn't decide which idea I liked the most, so I did both 😌 Now on to presenting the Britneys:

🤡🍬 Haunted Doll

Just a very cute and dainty little clown ball-jointed doll. She likes pink and pompoms, and dislikes people that try taking a peek into the broken, dark crevice located on her stomach.

Treat her good, and she'll be good to you as well.

There are some absurd rumors that this doll became haunted thanks to the hatred she harbored towards the girl that broke her. As a dedicated collector, you know there's no such thing; people only make this kind of stuff up to secure rare dolls to themselves.

The newspapers that covered Britney Beigeleigh's death did prove it was suicide, after all.

😈💘 Minion of Lilith

Unwelcome criticism is everywhere and those who take it to heart shall lose themselves.

Britney was tired. It was as if there was a fault even if the way she breathed. If only she could find a way to prove there was more to her if people would just make an effort to go past the surface...

Her troubles fell on listening ears. But little did she know, the occult have a different point of view on certain things. And now, whatever remains of her soul is now forever bound to the deal she made on that night.

Can't say she didn't get exactly what she wanted, though. Now everyone can't seem to get enough of her.

♡ Succubus!Britney is buck naked so I thought it was better to censor her nips and 🐈‍⬛ just to be safe. And it's not like I couldn't put any clothes on her; they just kinda ruined the vibe for some reason? She does have an outfit though!

♡ The texture on Succubus!Britney's collar was overlapping onto the wings, but that actually made them look cooler so I kept it that way! The collar and womb tattoo are indicative of her deal with the demoness whom she made a deal with so I didn't want to take it off. The metallic part looks silly, but the rest makes it look like she has moth-like patterns on her bat wings.

♡ The saddest thing is that Doll!Britney doesn't look as clown-esque as I wanted her to because the texture on ruffle collar I wanted to put on her was overlapping with the one on her dress... 🥲

♡ I feel like they're looking rather simple but I wanted to put a ton more CC on them and things were either overlapping with one another or there were simply not enough slots to have everything all at once *head in hands*

♡ I did change their traits though! Doll!Britney is a Loner, is Proper and Evil; Succubus!Britney Hates Children, is a Cat Lover and Evil.

♡ These two Britneys may or may not be accomplices and girlfriends...

I may keep them as my OCs, I've gotten attached already 😹

[patchworkgargoyle]

oc fic: won't you stay with me?

Belatedly sharing this here, but this was written for my dear friend Read's (@amusingdisplacement) birthday back in August! Happy birthday again!! <3

The Cast Keziah: non-binary/GNC OC, Read's Dominik: transmasc OMC, mine Context: set in the very early days of the peace of mind verse, but you don't need to have read anything else to read this. Both characters are 17-18 years old. Please mind the content warnings, they come into play right away. Title from Call Your Mom by Noah Kahan, dividers by @/saradika-graphics. Rating: T || Words: 4,899 || CW: transphobia; misgendering; allusions to abuse, conversion camps, and suicidal ideation; So Much Angst I’m So Sorry

“I cannot believe the mouth on her–”

“You get back here right now!”

Dominik slammed the door to his aunt's house, the glass of it shaking, muting the shouting he was leaving behind with increasingly rapid footsteps. Blood and breath roared in his ears as he broke into a run. The soles of his chucks slapped against the sidewalk.

He needed to go. To run. To get the fuck away from here. It was that or listen to the terrifyingly calm voice that lurked under the furious mess of his thoughts. He bolted instead.

Driven by instinct alone, he veered onto the path that led between all the dull suburban homes and hoped his parents weren't trying to follow him. They would never go so far as to run after him, they'd never cause such a scene, but he wouldn't put it past them to patrol in their car around the neighbourhood he was running to. His head start would only get him so far, especially when he hadn't stopped to tie his shoes.

Dom felt the jerk on his foot too late. Laces trapped under his other foot, he went sprawling across the trail. He barely caught himself on bony palms and joints, managed to only graze his chin, teeth clacking, instead of his face. It forced up a sound he choked down, desperate to keep it inside until he could get to Keziah. Panting, he scrambled to his feet, shoved the laces down beside his ankles, and stumbled back into a run.

By the time he got to their neighbourhood his chest was burning. Every breath left his throat raw. His legs and feet ached. To run the whole way was stupid but he couldn't fucking slow down.

Before he broke out into the main street, Dom stalled in the gloom between houses. The yellow streetlights had flickered on moments ago, pools of buzzing light drawing moths to the quiet road. He could feel that awful buzzing under his skin. A car going by made him flinch, but, thankfully, it wasn't his parents’ sedan. Nothing else drove by, so he made one last mad dash.

The familiar houses were a blur. None of them even registered until he spotted the one he needed to see. He ran faster, nearly losing a shoe when he thundered up to the door, knocking rapidly before he let himself in with the key he'd been given.

Ma de Leon's confused voice could be heard from the living room. “Dominik? What's wrong?”

But Dom didn't answer, just kicked off his stupid fucking shoes gasped out, “Ziah?”

“In their room, sweetie, but what—hold on, what happened to your hands?”

Again he didn't answer. He was too focused, too panicked. He took the stairs two at a time and let his sore feet automatically carry him to the right door, cracked open enough for faint music to filter through.

Kez sat up in zir bed, already in pajamas and a bonnet, setting zir magazine aside and frowning as soon as ze saw him in the doorway. “Dom? Wh—whoa–!”

His legs nearly gave out from relief, but he cut them off by all but tackling them. As soon as Dom felt Ziah's arms around him, as soon as he could curl up into their body and tangle himself around the one person he loved and could trust, the unbearable, horrid weight in his chest finally cracked him open.

“Ziah,” he croaked, and that was it. The tears spilled over, his chest hitched and shuddered, and the sobs he'd locked away ripped out of his rough throat. Dom dug his fingers into Kez and clung so hard it must have hurt, but ve just held him tighter and pressed vir head into his. Fuck, he hated this. Hated all of it. Despised forcing Kez to hold his jagged edges together like this. But he didn't have anywhere else to go, and that voice was rising to the surface, and nothing felt right or safe until he got here. He needed Ziah too much to have done anything else.

Ze held Dom through all the shaking and sobbing and hiccups. He had no clue how long they stayed like this, wrapped up like they were one being, trying to be the thing humans were before Zeus split them in two. At one point Ma de Leon checked in and Dom heard a half-whispered what happened, and felt Kez shrug and shake their head. Later, the phone rang downstairs, but Kez ignored it, and Señor de Leon’s indecipherable voice echoed up the stairwell.

This whole thing was so stupid. He felt guilty for barging in on Kez’s night like this. Making such a big fucking deal out of something he’d known forever. It shouldn’t feel like he’d been slapped in the face by a bus, but his parents never seemed to run out of ways to rip his heart out and make it feel like it was his fault they crushed it in their hands.

When Dom finally wore himself out—sobs reduced to loud, wet sniffles—Ziah let out a long breath and kissed the top of his head. Their grip on his relaxed enough to start rubbing up and down his back. A shuddering sigh, and Dom went limp against them.

Quietly, his voice hoarse, he said, “Got snot on your shirt.” He felt Kez’s tiny laugh.

“Yeah, I can feel it,” ze said. “S’okay, though.” Neither of them spoke again for a few moments. Dom focused on breathing without his chest hitching, mostly failing. Now he could actually feel the places he’d scraped raw when he fell as his hands, arms, and knees throbbed. Kez just kept running their hands along his back. But then he felt Kez inhale like ze was going to say something, pause, and then do it again. He braced for it.

“What happened, Nikki?”

Dom grit his teeth, screwed his eyes shut against a fresh wave of tears and tightness under his ribs. “My parents happened, what else,” he forced out through the painful lump in his throat.

“I thought they were leaving you alone?”

Swallowing the tension down, he scoffed bitterly. “Nope. Turns out Aunt Linda was keeping them updated on every-fucking-thing I did all summer. I knew it, kinda, but…”

“What a bitch,” Kez spat.

He laughed hollowly. “Uh-huh. The haircut was the final straw.” Kez ran a soothing hand through his thick, dark hair, which they’d cut short a few days ago and their Mama had fixed up after. “She’d told them about it when I went to school yesterday and they ambushed me when I got back today. Said I should’ve gotten over this phase already, they’d been forgiving about the ‘boy’s clothes’ even if it was embarrassing for them, but this was ‘one step too far,’” Dom mocked with a sneer, but the disgust and anger fled quickly, leaving him feeling… empty. “They just fucking… screamed at me about how I should get my head on straight already. I–I yelled back but they wouldn’t fucking listen.”

Kez’s hands paused as he spoke, nails digging in for a second when he’d mentioned his parents’ embarrassment. “They’re fucking awful,” she said, voice flat but low and furious.

“I left the worst for last.”

“Is it going to make me want to kill them harder?”

“Yep.”

“Great. Fantastic. What did they do.”

As he worked up the energy to tell zir, Dom found himself feeling oddly removed, distant. The music from Kez’s stereo faded out, the pattern on zir pjs right in front of his face blurring. He felt like he was back in his aunt’s living room again, his mother slapping the pamphlet down on the coffee table between them and pointing at it with her tastefully manicured fingernail while his blood ran cold.

“She threatened to send me to a camp if I didn’t go home immediately and stop this nonsense,” he said tonelessly. Ziah went stiff in his arms. “So I told her she could shove that fucking pamphlet so far up her ass it’ll come out of her mouth covered in shit and ran.”

That got a short laugh out of Kez, but they were still tense, gripping the back of Dom’s too-large shirt. “You were right, I’m going to fucking murder them.”

“Yeah, get in line,” he joked, half-hearted.

“Was–” Ze paused, clearly debating whether ze should ask this or not. “Did they bring…?”

It took a second to realise what they were asking, but when it clicked Dom’s face twisted as he was shoved back into himself, only to feel every bit of guilt and grief and rage flooding back into his throat. “He looked at me like I was disgusting, Ziah,” he choked out, chest heaving around a shaky inhale, and he started crying again. Kez’s arms tightened almost painfully around him.

Ziah’s voice was thick when they said, “I’m sorry, Nikki. I’m so sorry.”

Calming down this time was faster, but only due to how exhausted Dom was. He felt hollowed out but heavy, leaden enough that Kez should be struggling to hold him. Their arm under his torso must have started to go to sleep by now, but they didn’t move or complain and he added that to the list of things he felt guilty about tonight. And he was about to add a few more.

“Could… could you drive me to my aunt’s so I can get all my stuff?” he asked.

“You have clothes here though. Or, are you going to actually stay here?”

He shrugged. “Might be easier to get it all while it’s dark. And if I wait my aunt might lock the window, if she hasn’t already. Or my parents might trash it all.”

Kez finally pulled away to be able to look at Dom, smiling with relief. Despite everything, they were excited by the thought of Dom finally staying with them. “Sure, let's go. I’ll tell Mama I’m borrowing the car.” They pressed a few kisses to his lips which Dom returned gratefully, both of them reluctant to let the other go. Outside the shelter of Kez’s body Dom could feel the tear tracks and snot making his skin tight.

They both clambered out of Kez’s bed, Kez linking their fingers with his to lead him downstairs again, socked feet a quiet staccato on the steps. The house was dark now, but there was a low glow of warm light from the kitchen. Dom didn’t think to look at Kez’s alarm clock to see the time, but he guessed they’d been up there for a couple hours.

Ma and Señor de Leon were talking in low voices in the kitchen by the light of the range hood, but paused when he and Kez came into view. “How’re you feeling, mijo?” Señor de Leon asked, a kind tilt to his head, and though the endearment eased something in his chest, Dom could only shrug, not quite able to meet his eye. 

“Come here and let me see those hands, Dominik.” Ma de Leon gestured with her own hand, and Kez made a noise of confusion. Pulling his hand up by their tangled fingers, ze bent his wrist to expose the raw, reddened skin of the heel of his palm, to motion making him wince.

“Nikki. What happened?”

Embarrassment coloured Dom cheeks and he pursed his lips. “I didn’t tie my laces…”

Rolling their eyes, Kez sighed and mumbled an oh my god before pushing him towards their mama. “You should have told me.”

He rolled his eyes in return as he stumbled towards Ma de Leon, who said, “Better now than never,” as took him by the wrist and guided him to the sink, an open first aid kit already waiting. She was firm, but kind, as she ran his hands under warm water, held him still while she sanitised the wounds, abraded skin stinging from the alcohol. “Your parents called,” she said after a moment. He tensed automatically, heart rate racing. “I know, but we told them we’ll take care of you, alright? You can stay for as long as you need.”

She tried to look at him, but Dom’s eyes flicked to the floor. She hummed.

“Mama, can we borrow the car to go get his things?” Kez asked. “We should do it before they lock him out or something.”

Ma briefly looked at Señor while she bandaged Dom’s hands, and whatever married people telepathy occurred had Señor on his feet with a groan. “Alright, but be safe. Don’t go climbing into windows if there’s a patrol car in the neighbourhood.”

“Yeah, we aren’t stupid,” ze shot back with a smile, following their dad to the foyer.

Dom’s hands were released, and Ma nodded with her chin that he should follow, so he scurried after them. He liked Kez’s parents, but they were so drastically different from his own that he always felt wrong-footed around them, afraid that if he did one wrong thing that kindness would vanish. It wasn’t like he’d ever done anything to deserve it.

Señor traded the keys for Kez’s bonnet while Dom slipped into his shoes and tied them. As Kez opened the door, Ma de Leon rounded the corner and held the first aid kit out to Dom.

He frowned. “Uh–”

“Just in case,” she insisted, one eyebrow raised at him. Confused as he was, Dom wasn’t about to refuse it, so he took it with mumbled gratitude and followed Kez out the door.

The drive was spent keeping an eye out for police, but they didn’t see any on the extra lap they took around his aunt’s neighbourhood. While all the lights were off at the house, and Dom’s parents’ car wasn’t there anymore, Kez still parked a few houses down, under a tree.

From there, sneaking in was easy. They’d done it so much that it was second nature to scale the wisteria trellis and wedge his window open. Dom could never tell if his aunt was aware they’d been doing this; it wasn’t like they were that careful about the plant, but she had never locked the window, and tonight was no different. When the window slid open, Dom sighed, let his head hang for a moment, before hauling himself in and pulling Kez in after him.

All he had to carry stuff—that they could still bring down the trellis—was a backpack and messenger bag, so Kez silently took his backpack and started filling it with some of his clothes, while Dom grabbed important shit. IDs, pictures of him and Ziah, the one picture of him and his brother, his secret cash stash, a couple books and knick-knacks. Last minute, he grabbed the cellphone that was still under his parents’ plan, but he was going to use that shit until they noticed and cut it off. Getting back out with the bags was harder, but they made it to the ground safely, and booked it to the car.

“Holy shit,” Dom laughed, running on the last of his adrenaline, “I can’t believe it worked!” He flopped back into the passenger seat and put his hands over his face. “You just pulled a heist in your pyjamas.”

“I did. Only for you, Nikki. If I put a hole in them I’m going to make you mend it,” Kez teased, sagging into the seat. “I’m so fucking glad the window wasn’t locked.”

“Fuck, me too.”

Dom turned to smile at Kez, his heart swelling at the sight of his best friend grinning back, gap-toothed and gorgeous. He loved them so much.

“Let’s get you home,” they said, smile widening, and Dom’s heart sank to the floor.

He was dreading this. And Kez saw it on his face.

“...Dom?”

Floundering, and after a couple false starts, Dom made himself look at Kez and whispered, “I have to go, Ziah.”

“No.”

“Ziah–”

“You can’t.”

He almost choked on the words. “I can’t stay with you.”

“Why?” Ziah’s face was a mess of anger and panic when they rounded on him. “Why do you always refuse?! You’d be safe and okay and I love you, Nikki, you can’t leave–!” Zir voice broke a bit and ze looked away, jaw muscles tensing and their hands gripped the steering wheel hard enough to make the plastic squeak.

Dom had never felt more like scum in his entire life. But he’d thought it through. His mind was made up.

“I–if I stay, my parents could still get me back, call the police on your parents or… or, I don’t know, something else shitty. And if that doesn’t work, my mother could probably bribe the hospital board to make Mama’s work awful, or get her fired.” He didn’t know if that would work, but she’d done similar enough things before that he could see it happening, and just the thought of being the cause of something like that made him feel awful. He couldn’t bear it. “They… if I stay, they’re going to do anything to get me back and… fucking fix me,” Dom spat.

Ziah stared out the windshield. When ze blinked, Dom saw tears rolling down their cheek, briefly catching the light like a tiny star winking out on zir dark skin. The corner of zir lips twitched downward, and they swallowed.

“Fine.” Their voice shook. Somehow, Ziah giving in just made Dom feel worse. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t know. Thought I’d bus to San Francisco. Or LA.”

At barely a whisper, Kez asked, “Does it have to be tonight?” And Dom’s heart smashed to bits.

“They might warn the police I’m a runaway risk if I wait.”

“You are a runaway risk,” they accused.

Dom grimaced, turning his gaze to the floor. “I’m so sorry, Ziah,” he said.

“If you were that sorry, you’d stay.” 

His nails dug into the strap of his seatbelt. Dom had no response, remorse sticking his tongue in place. The following silence in the car was oppressive and only interrupted by a sniff from Kez.

Then they started the car, got into gear, and pulled into the street. The drive was terrible, only because neither of them could speak. Dom couldn’t look at Kez, even when they came up to the four-way stop that led either to the city centre or to Kez’s neighbourhood and Kez paused for way too long before driving on towards the city.

The small, dingy bus station held a few tired people. The schedule above the ticket kiosk said a southward bus would be arriving in an hour. Kez hovered by Dom’s side and he paid for his ticket, and when they sat in the uncomfortable plastic chairs, ze hit him in the stomach with the first aid kit.

“You forgot this in the car.”

Dom frowned at it again. “Mama didn’t give it to me–”

Scoffing, Kez crossed zir arms and glared at the man behind the kiosk for the sin of selling Dom his ticket. “Yes, she did. I thought it was weird, but I guess she figured you out before I did.”

The red canvas stood out against his blue jeans. He squished the sides of it, the zipper digging into the pads of his fingers. How had she known? Without another comment, he stuffed it into his messenger bag and sat back to wait out the hour.

“You… you don’t have to wait with me,” Dom said after hearing Kez huff.

“Fuck you.”

And that was all they said until the bus arrived. Eventually Kez had slumped sideways in vir chair so their shoulders touched and Dom leaned into vir, unable to resist hooking their pinkies together. Kez twitched like ve wanted to pull away, but instead squeezed his finger tight and did not let go, letting him feel welcome to hide his face in vir hair. The gesture both hurt and eased a little of the fear that he’d irreversibly fucked this up; Kez was pissed at him, but still loved him anyway. Even if he was leaving.

The loudspeaker fuzzed to life and announced, “Southbound bus 3095, destination Los Angeles, arriving in ten minutes. Please have ID and tickets ready for boarding.”

Kez’s pinkie squeezed tighter and Dom kissed the side of their head.

He didn’t want to go. God, fuck, he didn’t want to leave them and he despised himself for going anyway.

The other people in the station rose and started forming a line by the door to the bay, their quiet chatter filling the room. Dom tugged on Kez’s finger and got them both to their feet, holding hands as they joined the line. The bus pulled in, the doors opened, and Dom dully marched with Kez into the cool, early autumn evening.

“Text me every day,” Kez said hoarsely as the doors drew closer. “No. Call me every day. Text me every hour.”

Dom’s short laugh was tight. “Okay, I will.”

“Fucking promise.”

“I fucking promise.”

“Don’t get cute with me, that promise has to be real,” Kez sniffled.

“It’s–it’s a real fucking promise.”

Kez’s grip on his hand was getting painful. “Good.”

On the platform of the bus bay, people were dropping off their luggage and saying their goodbyes if they had someone to say goodbye to before the driver checked their tickets and let them climb the stairs to the bus. It was an organised commotion that Dom was hesitating to join. He fully stalled a few feet away from the driver, his bags a thousand pounds and threatening to drag him to his scuffed up knees. The people behind him grumbled and began to file past him.

“You can still stay.”

Kez sounded so small that he finally looked at them for the first time that whole hour. They were crying again, shoulders shaking as they tried to keep their misery under control, giving him a pleading look that completely broke Dom down again. He let out a small wounded noise, dropped his backpack and reeled them in, both of them wrapping each other up so hard it squeezed the air from their lungs.

“I love you, Ziah. I l-love you so much, I’m sorry,” he croaked.

Ze buried zir face in his neck. “I love you too, Nikki,” Kez managed to say, “even if you’re a giant idiot.”

Dom’s laughter was wet. He didn’t have a comeback, they were right.

“Last chance, kids,” the driver called out. Dom pulled back and saw that everyone had boarded, the luggage almost all loaded, and swore under his breath.

“One second.” Seeing the driver sigh, but nod, Dom cupped Ziah’s face between his palms and kissed zir. Their tears mixed on their faces and Kez dug zir fingers into his neck and kissed him back. It was a little messy, a lot desperate. “Love you,” he whispered, and Ziah could only nod.

Dom stepped back. They kept a hand on each other for as long as they could, but three steps and their hands fell away. He kept looking over his shoulder at Kez as the driver checked his ticket and ID with an amused smile, and he climbed inside, quickly finding a lucky seat on the opposite side of the bus. Kez jogged around so ze could still see him, and they watched each other as the bus rumbled to life, backed up, and began to pull away. Kez followed it along the platform, and Dom put a hand over his mouth to stifle his sobs, refusing to look away.

He watched the spot where Kez disappeared behind the building for a long time afterward.

did u know that mama put cash into the kit

I thought she might have

Probably knew youd be stupid about taking it

…

thank her for me?

I will

san fran is really cool

so many bars

You better be drinking responsibly

ok mom

F u

im being safe Ziah

made some friends too

not as great as u tho

No one is.

Dom if you don’t text me back in two days I’m calling the police

Dom

Nikki please

sry sry im okay im alive

guess the fucking parents saw i was using my phone finally

You can’t disappear like that!!!

couldnt afford new plan for a bit

might be hard for me to text evry day ziah

im sorry

…

Please text when you can

Love you

i will. love you too ziah

guess what

finally fucked someone with a dick for the first time

And?

it was fine

dude was weird about my tits

Gross.

ya.

but this way i dont have to pay rent

…That sounds really safe.

its fine!

anyway. he did this thing

im on t!!!

OMG

How??

found a clean reliable hook up

couple guys i know use their stuff

taking it slow

low doses

I’ll ask Mama for any tips or warning signs

Be careful

Dominik

Nikki

I miss you

i miss you so much

DRAG SHOWS ARE GREAT

Tell me everything

Jealous btw.

did u know  drag kings exist??

Yes, you goof, I did

LA fucking sucks.

miss you

Miss you too

School fucking sucks without you

im sry

It’s fine. Just miss you.

miss you too

any new rumors about me?

I started one about you joining the circus

that sounds fun

hows college apps going?

Uhg.

that good huh

youre gonna do great ziah

every college is gonna want you

Maybe.

Hate doing this without you though

this guy named kenny is letting me stay with him and his husband

Are they hot?

nah theyre old. like really old

kenny called me a lost waif. hes annoying. and rude.

So you’re getting along great then

>:(

UR rude

<3

whatever

theyre letting me work under the table at their bar too

So either they’re great people or they have evil plans

theyre good people

they do these burlesque shows at the bar

Nikki it’s been a Month please

Please be okay

DOMINIK

im alive im sorry i love you

Are you okay???

i love you too

ya

What happened??

got into something with someone

im fine now

he was a shitbag but im okay

What’s his fucking name?

ziah its over it doesnt matter

punched him so hard he fell over tho that was great

I love you Nikki

I miss you

love you too miss you too

fucking promise were gonna see each other again soon ok?

Okay. Fucking promise

A year was a long time, Dom decided. It wasn’t really. It had gone by fast. But it was a long time to be away from Kez. Too fucking long.

If he hadn’t left, he wouldn’t be lying on the sidewalk outside the shelter clutching at his ribs, his face red and sore and probably going to turn a beautiful shade of purple. Trying to sit up, he inhaled sharply, biting his lip but immediately regretting it when it pulled on the part that split open.

He was such a fucking moron. He should’ve kept his mouth shut. Should’ve stopped himself, because he knew it would get him kicked out of the shelter for misconduct and beaten by the assholes he’d shouted at.

Dom tried to get up again and grunted through the pain until he was on his feet again. At least they hadn’t mugged him. It’d be too obvious for them to go back to the shelter with his bass and amp in tow.

Fuck. There weren’t any more shelters open. This one had been his last chance at a good spot to hunker down at while the weather got colder.

He had to bite the final fucking bullet. He was 18 now, if he went back his parents couldn’t do shit about it.

He didn’t want to go back. Not like this. He was pathetic as fuck like this.

There were no other options.

Kez would be at college by now though. They wouldn’t have to see this.

Pulling out his shitty, busted up phone, Dom stared at it like it would magically have data again if he just glared hard enough. It didn’t happen, of course.

Shit.

Dom shifted his bag further up his shoulders and picked up the amp with his good side, picked up his bass in the other hand with a pained wince, and started walking towards the nearest pawn shop.

The familiar house loomed above him, silhouetted by the sun setting behind it. Though the curtains were drawn, he could still briefly see the silhouettes of the family inside, milling around as they set up for dinner.

Dom didn't want to be here.

This was such a dumb idea.

But he raised his hand to knock on the door anyway, hearing the voices behind the door but not fully realising who it was, because it couldn’t be them. Then the door opened, and panic and relief and shame and joy in equal, chaotic measure overwhelmed him. So of course, he said:

"What the fuck are you doing here?"

"...don't want whatever you're selling—Dom?"

The next thing he knew, he was on the ground in front of the de Leon’s house, a familiar weight on top of him, clinging to him, and through the ache in his ribs and the awful storm of emotions in his chest Dom finally felt a missing piece of himself click back into place where it belonged.

[thatboreddrake]

The Night's Cavalry

First off, thanks to @bri-the-nautilus for getting me thinking about these fellas. Second, this is not really a theory per se. More of a headcanon, considering that we have so little information about the Night's Cavalry other than a) they serve Morgott directly and b) they hunt Tarnished.

As always, we begin with the item descriptions of their drops.

Night's Cavalry Set: Worn by the Night's Cavalry who ride funeral steeds. The Night's Cavalry, who now wander the dim roads at night, were once led by the Fell Omen and were deliverers of death for great warriors, knights, and champions.

Fairly standard information. Served Morgott, hunted various troublemakers in the post-Shattering world, nothing we didn't already know. The only other equipment we *see* them use, the Flail and Glaive, have item descriptions that describe their physical properties but don't include any helpful lore tidbits. However, all of the Night's Cavalry (with one exception) drop Ashes of War, and this is where things get *really* interesting.

Bernahl calls Ashes of War "Mementos of all the warriors who raised their arms in battle, lost, and died." Thus, we can reasonably make the inference that the Ashes of War dropped by these Night's Cavalry were the skills which they wielded in life (could it be from warriors they killed? Yes. I'm choosing to go with what I believe to be the more interesting angle).

The Ashes of War dropped by Night's Cavalry are as follows:

Repeating Thrust: Twist to build power, then unleash a flurry of thrusts. (Limgrave)

Barricade Shield: Skill made famous by Sir Neidhardt. Focus your energy into the shield, temporarily hardening it to deflect greater blows. (Weeping Peninsula)

Ice Spear: Skill of the warriors who served Lunar Princess Ranni. Spin armament to release cold magic, then channel it into a piercing spear of ice. (Liurnia South)

Giant Hunt: Skill developed for confronting gigantic foes. Step forward from a low stance, carrying the momentum into a sudden upward thrust. (Liurnia North)

Poison Moth Flight: Slash with a poison-infused blade. If the follow-up strike lands on a poisoned foe, it will deal significant damage. (Caelid)

Shared Order: Skill of the Golden Order fundamentalist knights. Grant the armament and those of nearby allies holy essence. Highly effective against Those Who Live in Death. (Altus)

Phantom Slash: Skill inspired by the fond remembrances of the Night's Cavalry. Creates an apparition of the knights' former instructor who guides a joint lunging upward swing. Additional input allows for a follow-up attack. (Forbidden Lands)

Bloodhound's Step: Skill that allows the user to become temporarily invisible while dodging at high speed. Moves faster and travels farther than a regular quickstep. This skill can be used to circle around lock-on targets. (Dragonbarrow)

The only Night's Cavalry who do *not* drop an Ash of War are the duo in the Consecrated Snowfield, who instead drop an Ancient Dragon Smithing Stone. Also notable, with the exception of Poison Moth Flight, all of these Ashes of War can be used on the Nightrider Glaive. Is that significant? Probably not. I just thought it was neat.

All that to say, I believe that the Night's Cavalry are a sort of Elden Ring "Ocean's 11." In the aftermath of the Shattering, Morgott traveled the Lands Between, under the guise of Margit the Fell Omen. He recruited these knights from every former allegiance and walk of life to aid him in restabilizing the Lands Between. In honor of this theory, I am attempting to create OC's for each of these knights (to come in a later post because the creative juices simply are not flowing rn).

[practically-an-x-man]

I'm shipping you with... (OC Edition)

Matt Rosenthal-St. James!

-Trained field medic

-Vampire sympathizer

-Proud and flamboyantly Jewish and bisexual

-Has a German Shepherd named Moshe

-Eats his fries with mustard

-Has experience with joint issues (he has EDS)

Oooooh I love him!! Definitely seems like my type lol :D

Honestly I would date him just for the chance to hang out with Moshe XD though he's got a lot of other selling points too

[mxrtixnzwrld]

nexus | twenties | she/her | afro latina

alt oc x character page: @minilinzfiction

REQUESTS: open!! before requesting please read my rules.

rules || ko-fi || caard || ao3

fandom masterlist [last updated: 05/10/24]

jujutsu kaisen | genshin impact | one piece | jojos bizarre adventure | mr osomatsu | demon slayer | chainsaw man

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

𝜗𝜚 recent work / in the works 𝜗𝜚

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

planned works

⟢ “you don’t know my name” - nanami k. x reader (fluff)

⟢ “body party” - toji f. x fem! reader (smut)

⟢ “james joint” plug! geto x fem! reader (smut)

⟢ “coming down” osomatsu x reader (angst/fluff)

⟢ “face down” zoro x fem! reader (smut)

⟢ “we cry together” toxic! toji x reader (angst)

⟢ “drunk in love” kishibe x reader (fluff)

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

planned series’

⟢ plug! au

⟢ grain and sales (nanami k.)

⟢ say yes (sanemi s.)

⟢ igor (kiyotaka I.)

⟢ tongue tied (karamatsu m.)

⟢ a moth to a flame (shinjuro r.)

⟢ wander (ichimatsu m.)

┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄

©mxrtixnzwrld. do not copy, modify, translate, repost any of my work! reblogging is greatly appreciated!!

[mushroom-for-art]

The gang! Rosy being mine, Maple belonging to the lovely @cinnatwo and Moth our joint son! It's the moff gang! Moth is currently telling the WORST story ever

[song-birds-stuff]

Trolls has been my biggest hyperfixation ever as of late so heres my oc, Luster Gossamer.

The color in the white part of her hair is supposed to be rainbow, shimmering sparkles, and the white fades to blue, cause of how her hair is she actually can't color shift her hair, she can stretch it just fine but shes very vulnerable to potential predators since her hair doesn't have that ability, her tail can also act as a third hand and physically grab things if she needs to.

Her parents were actually a polycule, one of the parents being a K-Pop troll, which made Luster inherit fangs not to mention the K-Pops hypermobility, essentially being tripple jointed which brought about health problems such as chronic pain, particularly in her legs, the ribbons she wears on her legs now are specially made to help with compression.

The Gossamer's came to the troll tree when Luster was still an egg, at the time wanted somewhere safe and stable to live, of course this was before the Bergens showed up and uprooted the tree, they were worried about Luster's egg and needed a home when she hatched, she worried them quite a lot, when it was time for her to hatch she had so much trouble doctors had to cut the egg's shell with a saw to get her out.

Luster was a strange kid, not popular with the other troll children so the Gossamers talked with Rosiepuff and had Luster and Branch play at the Gossamers pod, they became best friends and practically family, Luster called him Twig, the Gossmers even gave Branch shelter after Rosiepuff was taken, though it was only a week before the escape from Bergen Town.

Luster slowly had lost most of her parents due to Trollstice, she'd only two moms during the escape, one getting seperated due to one of the escape tunnels collapsing while the other perished in the tunnels, Luster and Branch ran out of the tunnels alone.

While Branch was left alone to raise himself, Luster got tossed from home to home, seen as the easier orphan but still 'wrong' in some way so no family could settle with her and she was all but thrown around like a hacky sack, as a teen she was with Creek's family for two years which made her loathe him more than she did before.

Despite these circumstances she would still sneak off to visit or help Branch, over the years he was the only person she really got close to, Poppy had tried including her like she would try befriending and including everyone but Luster was really only close to Branch.

Luster had eventually aged out of the failure of a foster system, getting a pod of her own a bit on the edge of town and on ground level, Poppy had gifted her a service animal, a small pink fluffy moth named Blossom to help with her chronic pain and also her anxiety.

Despite how much he tried to push everyone away, Luster wouldn't let him, she lost most of her whole family, Branch was the only one left and she refused to lose him to, physically or emotionally.

[sunlitmcgee]

Showing you my ocs….(fries the wingless moth and opossum girl I haven’t named yet…they are lesbians in the forest behind the local crappy fast food joint)

hi fries hi lesbians

[fruitcoops]

Hi, Eve

Rose here from yesterday, thank you very much for the Birthday message, I wasn't expecting you to read it let alone reply but I was looking for Coops kids Birthday fluff specifically. It doesn't matter if you don't have time however as I don't want to be a bother.

Hello Rose, and happy (belated) 20th birthday! Sorry for the wait--I really wanted to get this one right to celebrate such an important number. I hope your day was absolutely fantastic! SW credit goes to @lumosinlove, but Stella is an OC

Combined with asks for Sirius lightly making fun of Remus' accent and Remus yelling at a game show (@nazar4114)

“Medusa!” Stella shouted with all the force in her thirteen-year-old lungs. Remus leaned forward on the couch. “Medusa!”

The front door opened with a creak. “I’m h—”

“Yes!” they cheered in unison as Nicole answered correctly. Remus turned and gave Stella a double high-five, feeling his heart squeeze at the vivid joy on her round face. “Good guess.”

“I knew she was gonna get it,” Stella said with a pump of her fist as she turned back to the show and folded her legs underneath her.

“Gonna,” a familiar deep voice mimicked from the doorway. Paper bags rustled before footsteps stopped behind the couch; Remus tilted his chin up without sparing a glance, and Sirius pressed a laugh-laced kiss to his cheek before dropping one on Stella’s head as well. “You sound too much like your dad.”

“Love you, too,” Remus said wryly.

“I’ll take ‘Myths and Moths’ for 400, please.” Nicole’s voice snapped his attention back to the screen, and Stella narrowed her eyes.

“Daily Double!” the automated voice announced. Stella gasped; Remus bit his lower lip. “This mythical shield was wielded by Athena, and is sometimes said to be made of goat skin.”

“Aegis,” Stella whispered, then raised her voice. “It’s the Aegis, Nicole. You know this.”

“We know you do,” Remus said, scooting forward. “You just guessed whose head is on it.”

Nicole’s buzzer went off with two seconds to spare. “What is the Aegis?”

“Hell yeah!” Stella whooped.

Remus turned to her and raised his eyebrows. “Excuse you.”

“Sorry.”

“Are you two going to do this the whole afternoon?” Sirius asked from the kitchen, obviously amused. “We might need to get the neighbors some noise-cancelling headphones.”

Stella blew a dark lock of hair out of her eyes as she flopped her head back. “It’s almost final Jeopardy, papa. We have, like, ten minutes.”

Sirius blinked at her, then shook his head. “I swear you two share genes.”

“Ope, you caught me,” Remus said over the noise of the commercial break. “When I was 20 and had literally never left Wisconsin, I went and had a secret kid in Maine who looks terribly like you just so that someone would watch Jeopardy reruns with me thirteen years later. Oops.”

“It’s the truth,” Stella said with great gravity. “I remember.”

“Mon dieu,” Sirius muttered, though he couldn’t keep a smile down. He had never been able to hide around Stella, not once in the three years since they had adopted her. It was one of the things Remus loved most about him. “By the way, nobody under the age of fourteen is allowed in the kitchen for the next…hour. Ish.”

Stella squirmed around until she could rest her arms on the back of the couch. “What if I get thirsty?”

“I’m sure you can invoke birthday privileges and ask your dad to get something for you.”

“Birthday privileges?” Remus scoffed. “Nobody in this house has a birthday today. Yours was last month, and mine’s in March.”

“It’s my birthday,” Stella said.

“What? No, it’s not.”

“Yeah-huh.”

“Your birthday is in June.”

“It’s today.”

“Or maybe July?”

“It’s today, in December, when there’s snow,” she insisted, throwing herself back against the pillows. “Come on, dad, that’s not funny anymore.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “Is somebody too old to find their poor old dad amusing now? Can you go back to being twelve so somebody will laugh at my jokes again? I know, I know, we're super lame compared to all your friends’ parents—”

“So lame,” Sirius agreed from the kitchen.

“—but I like to think we get one more year of pre-teen cuteness before the teen angst takes over.”

Stella sat up again with a groan. Looking at her, Remus saw a mix of himself and Sirius that had always baffled him, considering they had adopted her comparatively late in her life; beneath it was something uniquely Stella. Maybe it was her double-jointed elbows, or the board-straightness of her hair next to their curls, but there was no mistaking that she was her own person through and through. He loved that about her. “I’m not going to be a terrible teenager.”

Sirius poked his head around the edge of the kitchen—his nose was adorned with a smudge of flour. “Can I record that for future use?”

“Non.”

“Ooo, using the French,” Remus hissed. “That transformation is already beginning.”

“It’s not like you were bad teenagers, right?” She settled upside-down on the couch with her flamingo-patterned socks high in the air.

“I almost convinced Grandma to let me dye my hair blue, but otherwise I was pretty good.”

“I was terrible,” Sirius laughed. “I didn’t talk to anybody for a solid three years.”

Stella frowned. “How? I think I’d die if I did that.”

“He’s stubborn,” Remus stage-whispered.

“I heard that.”

Stella suppressed her laughter as best she could, but she was about as good at hiding her emotions around them as Sirius was. She didn’t really giggle—the amount her voice had deepened over the past three years always gave Remus whiplash—but her laugh had the same cadence as it did the first day they heard it. While Stella had been quiet at first, it only took love and time to bring her out of her shell. Within a year she settled into their lives like she was always meant to be there.

A thoughtful look crossed her face. “This is my last year before high school.”

“Does it feel different?”

“Not really.” She paused, then shrugged. “And a little. I don’t feel older. It just feels like there’s stuff I won’t get to do anymore.”

“And a lot more you will get to do.” Sirius left his dishtowel on the counter before joining them on Stella’s other side. “You can drive soon, you’ll get a longer curfew, you get more freedom…”

“I guess.”

“What are you going to miss?” Remus asked as she toyed with the hem of her shirt. It was a basic Lions FAN jersey; he was fairly sure she bought it to be ironic. That, and she only wore one of theirs if she was upset with the other, or if one needed a boost at a game.

“I dunno.” A few beats of silence passed. “My classmates. My team. It feels like everything’s going to turn upside down.”

“You can still keep in touch with your friends, and I bet your team won’t be too different,” Sirius said quietly. “Even if it does, that doesn’t mean you have to give all of them up. People change in different ways. They come and go on their own time.”

“There’s going to be a lot of upside-downs over the next couple years, kid.” Remus offered her a smile. “But you’re going to be just fine.”

“You two sound like such dads right now.”

“This might shock you, but that’s because we are.”

The corner of her mouth tugged up and she lolled her head to the side to look at Sirius. “Is the cake done?”

“Fifteen more minutes.”

“Will you watch final Jeopardy with us?”

“What’s the category?”

“US Presidents.”

Sirius exhaled through his nose, but nodded. She grinned and turned herself upright to snuggle against his arm. “You just enjoy watching me lose.”

---------------------------

“Alright, is everyone ready?” Sirius called from the kitchen.

“On three,” Remus said, raising his phone camera. “One, two, three!”

“Happy birthday to you,” over a dozen voices sang. They were off-tempo and so out of key the composer was probably spinning in his grave, but Stella’s clear joy didn’t waver for a millisecond even as her cheeks reddened. “Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Stella, happy birthday to you!”

Finn, of course, dragged out the last note. So did Leo, Logan, Kasey, James, Lily, and Talker in varying degrees of awful harmony attempts. It was terrible, and beautiful. “Make a wish,” Sirius said softly as he set the cake down and stepped back. His eyes were the brightest quicksilver Remus had seen in many moons.

Stella closed her eyes, took a breath, and blew as hard as she could—the entire room erupted into cheers when all the candles went out. She was laughing and blushing at the same time when Remus turned the lights back on, though the humor won out in the end and she helped pass plates of cake to her many aunts and uncles. Like every year prior, Regulus managed to smear a bit of frosting on her chin, only to immediately deny it with great offense when she noticed. It was becoming a bit of a tradition—one that Remus never grew tired of.

I know what I would wish for, Remus thought as he looked around the table at their patchwork family. Celeste, Dumo, and his own parents had no doubt spoiled their first grandchild with ‘cusp of adulthood’ gifts, and Natalie and Lily would certainly steal her away after cake for some girl time. Finn and Logan would remain the fun uncles while Leo and Regulus kept their thrones as the cool uncles; Stella would interrogate Jules on the intricacies of high school for at least an hour before they destroyed everyone in a snowball fight. The world they built together had a place for everyone.

I would wish for this. This, for us, forever. It wasn’t a bad eternity to imagine.

[manyeyedmoth]

Hi! This is a sideblog for my OC Emil. He's a moth-catboy with many eyes, eldritch shapeshifting, and a thing for the Jazz Age.

Emil is loosely based on Elizabeth from Bioshock Infinite and takes some story notes from Cultist Simulator, but he's .... kinda taken on a life of his own. All Bioshock/Cultsim content belongs to its original creators.

I've shelled him as a ball-jointed doll and so you will see some doll pictures here.

This entire blog has a content warning for bo//dy hor//ror, mentions of past parental ab//use, and the odd bit of artistic nu//dity. If those things upset, offend, or trigger you, you might want to steer clear.

[angel-archivist]

ur tags on the oc post are very important to me in fact!!! stone eczema.... yes it is true... eczema beloathed but its so poggers to like. point at character u have my pain now

thinks about moth!!!! cares about it even!!!

YEAH i have like... no characters with eczema n its been something I've been kind of struggling with for awhile now, its really prominent on my hands n u know the normal places where theres joint movements n sometimes it makes it REALLY hard to write or to draw n sometimes to move n ive gotten no treatment n often the ppl I love treat it like its just a rash n not like a chronic thing that has consistently come and gone for YEARS now!!!!! So having a character who has a similar struggle and showing like them being super cool n stuff is just nice like!!! its sucks!! but ppl acknowledge that it can stop them from doing some things n dont think less of them no one thinks its gross its just them like existing!!!

THANK YOU!!!!! I care about it too..... he is very epic n the first fandom oc i've had for a long while!!!! plus being mothman while having stone eczema is atually the most sex