#Johnson Goes to Work

[naughtynoodle056]

Leo can be quite oblivious to how his own actions have consequences, often to a comical degree

[oncemorewithqueering]

biggest bisexual energy in twin peaks

okay so i watched twin peaks and oh my god i loved it SO MUCH

for this poll, i've chosen characters from the original show and, of course, the 9 characters i've chosen are all opinion. please feel free to reblog with your headcanons!

[truth4ourfreedom]

THINGS NOT IN THE NEWS ANYMORE. VERSION 6.0

Things not in the news anymore….

(Version 6)

-Maui wildfires. -East Palestine, Ohio -Joe Biden classified documents as a Senator. -Fauci working with China to create a bioweapon. -Pete Buttigieg’s best friend in prison for child porn. -Cocaine in the White House. (TWICE NOW) -The BLM and Antifa riots during 2020 causing BILLIONS of dollars of damage. -The data collected from the Chinese spy balloons. -Ukraine intelligence documents released that showed they were suffering massive losses and the American taxpayer was being lied to. -Nancy Pelosi’s “documentary” film crew on J6. -Veterans being kicked out of shelters to make room for illegals. -Pizzagate “debunker” jailed for possession of child pornography. -Gay porn film in Senate hearing room. -Veterans Affairs prioritizing healthcare of illegals over Veterans. -THE SOUTHERN BORDER CRISIS. -Afghanistan drawdown and 13 service members killed in an attack on Kabul International Airport, that they hid the severity of it. -Obama droning an American citizen in the Middle East. -George Bush’s false WMDs. -3 service members killed in Jordan. -Hunter Biden making over $1M for “paintings”. -J6 political prisoners that are still in jail. -85,000 missing children at the southern border. -Epstein’s clients. -Obama coordinating with John Brennan and 4 other countries (5 eyes) to spy on the 2016 Trump campaign. -Mail-in ballots were the cause of the stolen 2020 election. -Jeffrey Epstein mentioning that Bill Clinton liked his girls “really young”. -The (NOW TWO) airline whistleblowers that mysteriously died. -Benghazi (I won’t mention anything more about this because I care about my life.) -Nancy Pelosi’s daughter stating that January 6th wasn’t an insurrection. -The January 6th committee destroying encrypted evidence before the GOP took over the House. -Nancy Pelosi admitting that J6 was “her responsibility”. -House Speaker Mike Johnson claiming there wouldn’t be foreign aid without border security in the bill, which was a lie. -The recent riots from illegal criminal aliens at the southern border and the border in general. -Hunter Biden not complying with a Congressional subpoena and deemed untouchable. Democrat privilege. -Vaccine side effects. -���Lab leak” out of China -The Secret Service having to basically guide Joe Biden everywhere he goes. -Who leaked (Sotomayor) the SCOTUS Alito decision. -Federal instigators inside the Capitol including pipe bomb evidence against them. -Obama’s chef “passing away”. -HRC’s chef “passing away”. -The Sheriff that happened to be in Las Vegas (during the mass shooting) AND the wildfires in Hawaii. -P Diddy sex-trafficking allegations. Where’s Diddy? -Gonzalo Lira (an American journalist) that was killed in Ukraine -Congress approving warrantless spying violating American’s 4th amendment rights while they are exempt. -Americans that were left in foreign countries (Haiti, Palestine, Afghanistan). -The billions of dollars of weaponry left in Afghanistan and the Taliban receiving $40M a week in “humanitarian assistance”. -Biolabs found in California. -Joe Biden’s impeachment. -The scum in the UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES waving the Ukrainian flag. -The over 300k ballot images that could not be found in Fulton County, Georgia; the same county Donald Trump on trial for “election interference”. -Democrats defunding the police causing massive rises in crime. -Kamala Harris’s record as DA in California. -The Transifesto from the school shooting. -Many U.S. Representatives and Congress receiving FTX funds. -They’re already working hard to bury Donald Trump’s àssassination attempt but we won’t let them bury that story. July 13th is never going away.

The distractions are out of control.

Share to show that legacy media is dead and that WE are the media now.

Please like,share and reblog to keep people aware!

[understandableparadox]

"Cave johnson here, wanted to start off this month with a message for all of our hard working aperture science. We dont have it in the budget to do what i wanted, Turbo Pride Day, were we stuff a full month of gay related festivities into one day so we can get it over with... apparently we ran through most of the holiday celebration budget attempting to learn how to turn human skin into a rainbow pigment. which i guess means were stuck with just the full month of non-body altering acceptance which is great but just know my thing was going to be better. of course aperture science will officiate any wedding that you may have if the government decides not to do so, but please know I will be putting my name on the certificate as well. turns out the state were in has this little loop hole left by the mormons where if you have enough married partners you automatically become governor and no ones taken it out of the books yet. I dont actully want to be governor but the guy in office now is a real prick. just to reiterate, marriage on paper, no need to change how we do buisness... well you know what, eat a mint, come in and we'll do a bit of arm wrestling and see where it goes from there. seems against the spirit all things considered. oh one last thing, any of you know what an otter is? carolyn told me that's what i was, and apparently i can upgrade to a bear? how do i do that? ah well, ill get some egg heads down in the lab to figure it out. Cave johnson out."

[angelbarelywrites]

♡ slashers scenarios | your first time together is…your first time (part 2)

♡ fandoms; Friday the 13th, House of Wax, Black Christmas, Scream, Dead by Daylight, Hannibal (TV) /Silence of the Lambs, Texas Chainsaw Massacre (og), slashers (general)

♡ characters; Jason Vorhees, Bo Sinclair, Vincent Sinclair, Danny Johnson, Billy Lenz, Hannibal Lecter, Bubba Sawyer

♡ reader; gender neutral

♡ cw; graphic sexually content!!, mentions of vouyerism, documentation kink (yay Danny), manipulation, breeding kinkish content, lots of cumming inside, light pet play elements

♡ notes; seven babes in one post wowowowow! i’m just trying to get caught up with everyone else before i start doing new prompts. but! i have a big list of new ones do not fear

these weren’t written in one sitting like some of my other fics so i’m sorry if the quality wildly varies

•┈••✦ ❤ ✦••┈•

Jason Vorhees

> It’s been gentle coaxing towards each step of the relationship with Jason

> And while you have the patience of a saint when it comes to that man, you’re also incredibly pent up. You’re just as much of a virgin as him and starting to wish he’d fix that.

> But you keep it to yourself, not wanting the pressure him into anything and getting yourself off when he’s not there. It worked well enough before after all.

> One day he comes home when you’re in the middle of mastrubating and you quickly scramble to hide the fact

> He knows somethings up right away, you’re covering yourself with a blanket and red faced…He’s repressed, not stupid.

> You apologize meekly and expect him to walk away - instead he grabs the blanket and pulls you forward by your thighs

> “J-Jason- baby? Are you going to-?”

> He pushes his mask up and goes down on you like a man starved… he may or may not have been home earlier than you realized, listening to you whimpering and moaning his name

> And getting you off ends up getting him very excited- excited enough that he doesn’t care about anything but doing it again

> And if you want him inside you, he’s more than happy to oblige.

> You shyly straddle him and sink onto his cock, holding onto him tightly

> He hides his face in your neck as you slowly move, murmuring sweet words of encouragement to him

> “Jason, it’s so good- you feel so good-“

> After a bit he holds your hips, fingers digging in as you get him closer and closer

> You gasp as he comes inside by accident, too shy to admit you liked the feeling

> He doesn’t even pull out as he holds you, knowing that as soon as he can, he’ll be helping you ride him again

Bo Sinclair

> It slips out when you’re cuddling and watching but not watching some silly movie with copious sex scenes

> “What’s your favorite position, darlin’?”

> “Hm? Oh, I dunno?”

> “Top three then-“

> “Bo I haven’t even-“. You blush bright red as he slowly grins

> He doesn’t leave it along the rest of the day- he has cute little innocent virgin partner

> He likes it way too much- and you like his fixation on it too much

> When you get him alone again you huff and straddle him “Stop teasin. Show me your favorite position, then.”

> You don’t have to tell him twice- and he’s a gentleman, letting you ride his face before he finally fucks you

> He’s got chest against your back and hand between your legs as he slowly uses you

> “Fuck- you’re squeezing my cock so tight- pretty little fucking virgin-“

> His dirty talk gets you both off…again, and again, and again…

> He doesn’t stop until you start whining and pushing his hand away, overstimulated and sore

> “Fine, fine…we’ll try the other top two tomorrow,”

Vincent Sinclair

> Honestly, Vince isn’t huge on sex

> When you offhandedly mention you haven’t done anything before he doesn’t mind and he doesn’t get overly excited like some people.

> He let’s you make the first move

> …or at least he’s going to, but you don’t say anything about it for a long while

> He finally asks softly if you want him to touch you.. and meekly you say yes

> You’re not sure who’s happier- you as he makes you come with just his hand, or him getting to watch you

> After a few days of this you finally get the nerve to ask to do more- his good side goes bright red at the idea of you touching him and you giggle and praise him the entire time.

> But about halfway through he makes you stop and pins you- still gentle but very daring for him

> You giggle again “…wanna go all the way?”

>He nods eagerly and he positions you- very gentle missionary with his forehead against yours

> Even inside you he stops so he doesn’t cum, coaxing you over the edge twice before he gets too close

> The third time you cum you wrap your legs around him and make sure he can’t pull out

> He’s so apologetic after he cums inside- but quite pleased in the same breath

Danny Johnson

> The conversation comes up when he asks you to model for him- a boudoir shoot, naturally

> You’re his muse already- but he wants to shoot more than just your pretty face and the hickies he leaves

> He’s surprised when you’re shy and look away, mumbling that you aren’t pretty enough for that

> “Course you are babydoll- no way no one’s ever told you that. Unless you were screwing them with the lights off-“

> “Danny I haven’t screwed anyone.” You pout

> He tries his best to hide his perverse excitement and looks determined- he’s got an idea…Those usually don’t end well

> Next thing you know he’s pulled a mirror to face the bed and has you on his lap, kissing at your neck and feeling you up.

> He spreads your legs and makes you look as he starts to touch you- you’re not sure if it’s the lewd situation or just him that makes you cum faster than you have ever before

> He makes just as much of a show of cleaning up the mess you’ve made on his hand, and you can feel how hard he is against your ass

> You pull yourself together enough to pout and grind down on him- that’ll show him

> Your revenge quickly backfires as he manhandles you to your hands and knees, grinding against you in a much more expert manner

> It doesn’t take long before you’re babbling beneath him, begging to take him

> He takes his sweet time teasing you- once he’s finally inside you’re pushing yourself back against him, fucking yourself with him

> He lets you do the work- it makes it easier for him to enjoy the show

> At least until he’s about to cum

> Then he pulls you up, making you watch in the mirror with one hand and holding you against him with the other

> “Fuck- look at you- that’s my good fucking baby (/girl/boy)!”

> When he pulls out it splatters across the mirror and he grins and gets a picture- just your bodies in the reflection

> If you thought you’re getting away to rest though…you were mistaken- he had a lot more pictures to take, and a lot more methods to get you to make pretty faces for them

Billy Lenz

> Billy takes things fast. He’s depraved an eager man.

> You aren’t very far into the relationship when he lets his hands wander while you’re cuddling

> He frowns when you push his hands away insistently- you’d talked so confidently about this on the phone…

> “I wanna touch my pretty toy-“

> You mumble something he can’t hear- making you pout as he tilts his head and leans in closer curiously

> “You’ve never- oh.” His grin is huge and excited

> After some convincing you make it a game- how long can you two go without going too far?

> While you want to have sex with him, you’re nervous, so you figure that’ll buy you time to muster up enough courage

> But Billy being Billy, it isn’t long until he finds a shortcut- he bites and kisses and laps your neck and grinds up on you every single time he gets the chance

> If it was PG-13 before, you were heading fast to an R rating

> Finally you can’t stand it any more as he’s got you on his knee, pushing it up as he oh so innocently rubs your hips and kisses you

> “Billyyyy- please — I need it-“

> “Need what?” For once he’s acting coy- so you quickly show him as you undo his pants

> He’s all giggles and moans when you blow him- cumming down your throat quickly

> And before you can move he flips you, going down on you and to your chagrin already hard before you cum once

> But he’s not a monster- or maybe he is, because before he’s even got it in you you’re whining that it’s all too much

> He licks away your overwhelmed tears as he slowly pushes in, cooing softly for once

> Though as soon as your comfortable he’s saying the filthiest things in order to coax louder and louder moans out of you

> Without warning or real permission he cums inside, grinning at the mess and finger fucking whatever leaks out back inside as he coaxes you to another orgasm

> Once he’s finally done late into the night, he holds you tight and continues to coo praises - Billy’s baby was so good! -and he knew they’d be just as good for him in the morning

Hannibal Lecter

> Hannibal knows almost everything about you, especially if you ever began as his patient

> Even if you don’t tell him expressly, he has his theories- but he’s not trying to be too forward

> It’s going to be your idea when he shamelessly uses you :)

> He has it planned to the T as well- you’re having a sweet little date night in and he’s admiring you on the couch

> Perched on his lap you giggle and shiver as he gently brushes your neck, and your thigh, and your stomach- each a little “accident”

> Not that you’re complaining or he’s apologizing for the increasingly lingering touches

> “…darling? Ah- we’ve never done anything before but…”

> “But what my love?”

> “Can you pretty please touch me?”

> He’s so proud of his little pet and tells you as much as he lays you down right there, going a step forward and using his mouth

> Of course he wants, needs to taste you

> But he doesn’t let you come- not yet

> No, he makes sure you’re already riding him slow and deep by the time he makes you come for the first time

> He stops and showers you in praise before helping you move again

> He wants you to crave him inside- and by the way you’re already whimpering with every little move he thinks it’s working

> He’s territorial- coming inside isn’t even a question, even if he pretends it it

> “Good puppy…Very good. Master’s going to cum- are you going to let me cum in that pretty little hole?”

> As you manage a blissed out sound, you’re sent over the edge and he takes the moment to cum inside

> You only hum an acknowledgment as he pulls out and lays you down, practically tucking you in with him

> What a good pet you made…

Bubba Sawyer

> Bubba is so scared of sex at first…Well, small correction- he’s scared of having sex with you.

> I mean Drayton’s idea of sex ed was simply not telling him about it because he didn’t ask “Sex is- well nobody knows!”

> And from what he’s read in books and heard on the radio, it’s sinful and dirty and ruins you

> And he’d never want to dirty you. You were the nicest, cleanest thing in his life.

> So when you ask him if he’s had sex he vehemently shakes his head and you tell him you haven’t either. Good!

> “Well- ah- would you want to? With me, I mean?”

> He’s absolutely shocked- didn’t you know it was dirty?

> “We don’t have to- I just- I really like you. I wanna make you feel good.”

> Maybe he had some details wrong. That’s what he tries to reason as he lets you take his mask off and undo his pants. He’d try it, but if he felt wrong, he’d stop so you both stayed clean…

> It takes all his will not to immediately buck up into your throat when you put him in your mouth.

> You’re sloppy and clumsy and he’s just the same, groaning and whining and gripping the sheets. Before he can finish you pull off and he pouts.

> “C-can we- I mean- can I-“ You huff and get frustrated at your own embarrassment, starting to slip your shirt off and hoping he gets the message.

> He goes red and nods quickly, practically tackling you and kissing you sweetly before he moves into position

> You help him ease himself into you , whimpering and making sure he’s comfortable too

> “Oh my god- that’s it baby- just like that,”

> The praise makes him move harder than he means to but god you’re grateful

> When he does come he pulls out and paints your stomach- and as soon as he realizes you haven’t done the same he uses his hand to correct that.

> He holds you tight and doesn’t let go the rest of the night, keen on trying more in the morning

[berrieluv]

<3; aaron johnson x reader (i think i didn't use pronouns but it's mention that the reader has a vagina) summary: you know damn well, you horny friends. kiki says: this fits contains unprotected sex, oral (female receiving), cheating kink, the feel of guilt that it's never enough to make him stop, i think this smut it's very light, just trying to keep you fed while i work in the angst. also english isn't my first language so i apologize for the bad writing.

me and your husband.

For the public, having you involved in the movie Kraven with Aaron after Bullet Train was just a normal occurrence, two actors working together more than once, nothing that hasn't happen before and nothing that won't happen again.

For Aaron, it was just his masterplan working. He craved you near him, he needed you there. He couldn't function properly anymore without you, without your body and the way your legs wrap around his neck.

His blue eyes are long gone by now, so full with lust he can not think of anything else. He already made you cum three times before you had to take a shower and attend a date, and now here you are again, seizing the day like you started it, with his tongue inside your wet cunt.

He kisses your thigh softly, his hand behind your knee, his mouth marking every inch of your skin with kisses, smelling your dripping pussy and looking amused at the wet spot on the beige sheets.

"You bought them for me?" He moans, looking at your lingerie next to him, the one he just took off the moment you walked back from dinner, his face buried between your thighs, you didn't. You bought them because they were pretty and expensive, and you could afford them "You look so pretty" He says.

His wife is sleeping in the next room, if you get close enough to the wall you could hear her sleep, which was weird, an expensive five stars hotel with thin walls, you must think they would be soundproof for the price. Or maybe it was your guilt, your senses sharpened in shame, making sure you never forget he's a married man.

But maybe you weren't better than that, but why should you. He wanted you, he needed you and loved you even more than you found him attractive, which was to say much.

"Fuck..." You moan when Aaron's tongue was inside your pussy. His hand grabbing your underwear and placing it on your thigh again, grabbing your skin and the lingerie along, the other hand over your belly, keeping you grounded.

Aaron licks the sides of your pussy, his tongue gently going through your folds, he teases your sensitive parts, hitting the right places, he knows how to use his tongue, and it feels like it has been wasted all this time.

Your moans grew louder when two of his fingers are inside you without any previous notice, moving them in and out, his tongue sucking on your clit and you feel yourself getting lost in pleasure.

"Is this good?" He asks out of breath, a big smile plastered across his face, almost like he thought he didn't need anything else but the sweet scent of your dripping cunt.

Was it good? It was fantastic.

"Hold for me, princess?" He asks softly, your legs curled up while your hands keep them up grabbing behind your knees.

He touches your ass, his hand traveling all over every part of your body, his lips are all over your sweet wet cunt, eating like a starving man, making sure every single drop of your wetness goes into his mouth.

"I need you..." He moans against your folds "Fuck, I need you so much"

Aaron takes all of your release, drinking it all, when he looks up his chin is all wet and a spark of proudness in his eyes.

He doesn't even look this proud when he's on a press conference.

"Keep holding your legs" He orders, taking off his jeans and boxers "Good girl" He praises with a smile when he walks back to bed.

You remind silence most of the times, your words consumed by your moans and whimpers, you want him so badly.

"Please..." You finally find the way to speak, your breath heavy and your heart beating faster than it should when he starts thrusting into you. His right hand holding himself on the mattress to not lay all of his weight on you.

His left hand massaging your breasts, treating it like it was a stress ball.

"Shit, princess" He moans, his eyes closing even if he tries to fight it, he loves watching you. He loves the look in your eyes and how they roll, going all blank when he starts thrusting faster.

"Oh!" You moan, and he smirks like a bastard, enjoying knowing he's the one making you feel like this "Oh, God! Fuck, fuck, fuck!" You cry, almost chocking in your own pleasure.

"Sh, sh..." He coos "Baby, you're chocking, princess" He chuckles, enjoying your desperation "I'm not even near your throat"

He caresses your cheek with a soft smile, moving slowly down to your throat, applying just the right pressure to make you gasp for air, shutting your moans.

"Don't be so loud..." He demands, it was meant to be teasing, but his voice sounds dominant, his expression is serious and his eyes darkened with lust and need of control "You know Sam is in the next room"

Sam, he doesn't refer as my wife anymore. She stopped being my wife a few months ago, just a few weeks after you became my everything. The air he breathed, not only his wants but his needs.

You feel a warm sensation running through your insides, a loud groan when he lets it out, his cum painting your cunt and dripping down your skin.

"God, I love my little masterpiece" He chuckles, watching your thighs covered by his cunt. "You're tired?"

He asks softly and you nod, his phone starts ringing at the same time you hear his wife walking around their hotel room, you wonder if he hears her.

"Your phone..." You say with your eyes closed when he ignores it and walks to the bathroom.

"Can wait" He says without hesitation.

"What if it's your wife?" You know is her.

"She can wait" Aaron says, it's almost like he doesn't care and a part of you knows he doesn't. "I'll clean you up first, super star"

[hotvintagepoll]

What modern movie would you love to zip back in time to be "rebooted" in Old School style?

Oh incredible ask. I'm not super knowledgeable on modern movies but let's have fun pretending that via time machine, we are now getting:

Avengers: Endgame (1963)

After the devastating events of Avengers: Infinity War (1962), the universe is in ruins. With the help of remaining allies, Captain America (Burt Lancaster), Iron Man (Dean Martin), Thor (William Shatner), the Incredible Hulk (Paul Newman), Black Widow (Nancy Kwan), Hawkeye (Peter Falk), Black Panther (Sidney Poitier), Captain Marvel (Natalie Wood), Spider Man (Frankie Avalon), and more assemble again in order to restore balance to the universe.

Jurassic World (1943)

A sequel to Jurassic Park (1993), a movie that hasn't yet been made, this movie sees the creation of a genetically modified hybrid dinosaur, the Indominus Rex (modeled by Willis O'Brien), which escapes containment and goes on a killing spree. Joel McCrea stars in the Chris Pratt role; Barbara Stanwyck is Bryce Dallas Howard.

Frozen (1957)

Eyvind Earle brings the same angular, medievalist touch that he would use with such great success on Sleeping Beauty to this beautifully hand drawn classic. Pearl Bailey voices Elsa, the wounded snow queen, with Dorothy Dandridge as Anna, Rock Hudson as Kristoff, and Sterling Holloway as Olaf.

Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (1931)

Four teenagers are sucked into a magical Kinetoscope, and the only way they can escape is to work together to finish the short film. Their magical avatars are Dr. Bravestone (Noble Johnson), Moose Finbar (Bill Robinson), Ruby Roundhouse (Anna May Wong), and Dr. Sheldon "Shelly" Oberon (Claude Rains).

[reality-detective]

Things that are not in the news anymore… 👇

-Maui wildfires.

-East Palestine, Ohio

-Joe Biden classified documents as a Senator.

-Fauci working with China to create a bioweapon.

-Pete Buttigieg’s best friend in prison for child porn.

-Cocaine in the White House. (TWICE NOW)

-The BLM and Antifa riots during 2020 causing BILLIONS of dollars of damage. And yes I brought this up on Juneteenth.

-The data collected from the Chinese spy balloons.

-Ukraine intelligence documents released that showed they were suffering massive losses and the American taxpayer was being lied to.

-Nancy Pelosi’s “documentary” film crew on J6.

-Veterans being kicked out of shelters to make room for illegals.

-Pizzagate “debunker” jailed for possession of child pornography.

-Gay porn film in Senate hearing room.

-Veterans Affairs prioritizing healthcare of illegals over Veterans.

-THE SOUTHERN BORDER CRISIS.

-Afghanistan drawdown and 13 service members killed in an attack on Kabul International Airport, that they hid the severity of it.

-Obama droning an American citizen in the Middle East.

-George Bush’s false WMDs.

-3 service members killed in Jordan.

-Hunter Biden making over $1M for “paintings”.

-J6 political prisoners that are still in jail.

-85,000 missing children at the southern border.

-Epstein’s clients.

-Obama coordinating with John Brennan and 4 other countries (5 eyes) to spy on the 2016 Trump campaign.

-Mail-in ballots were the cause of the stolen 2020 election.

-Jeffrey Epstein mentioning that Bill Clinton liked his girls “really young”.

-The (NOW TWO) airline whistleblowers that mysteriously died.

-Benghazi (I won’t mention anything more about this because I care about my life.)

-Nancy Pelosi’s daughter stating that January 6th wasn’t an insurrection.

-The January 6th committee destroying encrypted evidence before the GOP took over the House.

-Nancy Pelosi admitting that J6 was “her responsibility”.

-House Speaker Mike Johnson claiming there wouldn’t be foreign aid without border security in the bill, which was a lie.

-The recent riots from illegal criminal aliens at the southern border and the border in general.

-Hunter Biden not complying with a Congressional subpoena and deemed untouchable. Democrat privilege.

-Vaccine side effects.

-“Lab leak” out of China.

-The Secret Service having to basically guide Joe Biden everywhere he goes.

-Who leaked (Sotomayor) the SCOTUS Alito decision.

-Federal instigators inside the Capitol including pipe bomb evidence against them.

-Obama’s chef “passing away”.

-HRC’s chef “passing away”.

-The Sheriff that happened to be in Las Vegas (during the mass shooting) AND the wildfires in Hawaii.

-P Diddy sex-trafficking allegations. Where’s Diddy?

-Gonzalo Lira (an American journalist) that was killed in Ukraine

-Congress approving warrantless spying violating American’s 4th amendment rights while they are exempt.

-Americans that were left in foreign countries (Haiti, Palestine, Afghanistan).

-The billions of dollars of weaponry left in Afghanistan and the Taliban receiving $40M a week in “humanitarian assistance”.

-Biolabs found in California.

-Joe Biden’s impeachment.

-The scum in the UNITED STATES HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES waving the Ukrainian flag.

-The over 300k ballot images that could not be found in Fulton County, Georgia; the same county Donald Trump on trial for “election interference”.

-Democrats defunding the police causing massive rises in crime.

-Kamala Harris’s record as DA in California.

-The Transifesto from the school shooting.

-Many U.S. Representatives and Congress receiving FTX funds.

-They’re already working hard to bury Donald Trump’s àssassination attempt but we won’t let them bury that story. July 13th is never going away.

The distractions are out of control.

Share to show that legacy media is dead and that WE are the media now. 🤔

[darqx]

[It's going down] I'm yelling timber

Several doodles in this one!

❗️For commonly asked qs please see my BTD FAQ

Everything is similar but she wears a dress version.

Yes (after becoming a Royal) but it's more of a "formaility" as he hasn't had any reason to use it yet. There's a lot of gaps since he relies more on mobility than brute force, and he can also rapidly fill in any areas with harder ichor if need be.

He used to work for the previous King as a Collector.

I think it depends, since he's a Royal now they tend to use some variation of their demon signs as an official "signature" so it might look like the first pic. His prior signature might look something like the second (fancy cursive).

Base: [x]

Rire's ichor tentacles are directly controlled by his consciousness/sub-consciousness so yes technically they could do such things XD But that is something that would have happened more when he was a child/learning how to use the ichor powers - he has such fine control now that the likelihood of it happening anymore is negligible.

...you could kiss them if you want I suppose, he does have some feeling through them lol.

I once described Rire's ichor as existing but not existing at the same time (ah, dichotomy haha). Basically if the ichor is not connected to the manifestation point on Rire's back all trace of it will eventually disappear. So that's handy in more ways then one :d

This post goes into more detail about the ichor consistencies:

Rire was born 973 years ago and was primarily raised by his mother after both his father and then later his stepfather died when he was a child/teen.

He would raise a child similarly to how he was raised. 🤔 YMMV whether this would be considered good parenting but he does have affection towards his own parents so there's that.

Well i did draw the baby!BTD in that same picture so...however i drew them as lol XD; Thanks muchly and keep at it!

Yes the years are the same. As stated in my BTD FAQ "I don’t know if you could classify what he feels as “love” in the same definition we are used to…" :d

Short answer: no.

Long answer: if you consider real world biology it would be like this

SOME species of demons are close enough to humans that they could reproduce with them. If the offspring is viable it's usually infertile like a liger (cross between a lion and a tiger) or a mule, though sometimes/rarely it could result in fertile offspring.

This works similarly between different demon species (different ones are more compatible with certain species compared to others etc), though the likelihood of fertile offspring is greater. Also depending on the species some genes are way more dominant so a child might end up basically being more or less one species type.

[An excerpt from a World War letter. Several similar letters have been documented from both Allies and Central/Axis Powers]

My dearest, I witnessed the most peculiar scene several days ago. Honestly I am not sure if it actually happened or if my mind was playing tricks on me. I was on my evening sentry duty over No Man's land when I saw him - a man, standing alone in the fog past the razor wire and amongst those poor souls neither side had managed to retrieve. Dearest, I swear that man had not been there a second ago! At first I thought this was enemy activity, but his uniform was clearly not German and neither was it one of ours - maybe the oddness is what stayed my tongue at the time. Out of a morbid curiosity I watched as he crouched near several bodies for a long moment - perhaps to pay his respects? - before walking off and disappearing out of sight. I am honestly surprised no one had shot at him! The next day there was a large shout as a grievously injured Johnson - whom was lost in No Man's Land after a failed trench raid - was suddenly within reaching distance just over our trench walls! It was a miracle! He was delirious and had no idea how he had made it back by himself, but mentioned a "General" who had offered help in his lowest moment. Clearly he was unwell as there were no Generals around...but dearest...I can't help but wonder --

[Johnson would survive his injuries and go on to become a well decorated soldier before returning home a hero. He would die 10 years later from "idiopathic anaphylaxis" with an odd look of fear on his face.]

I'm not sure why some of you think this but to put it as clearly as I can (since this is not the first time I've been asked this):

Cain is not my character.

I would hope that you guys understand that just because someone doesnt seem to be on the internet anymore it doesnt mean their character is suddenly an adoptable/up for grabs???

No - I have enough of my own characs I dont need to actually steal someone else's. (Also see above answer)

IMO in any universe Rire and Cain are like oil and water. So, i would say yes there is a way that they could get together but it would probably involve kidnapping and criminal confinement on one of their behalfs :d

I never read Warrior Cats so I have no particular thoughts about this lol.

Demon!Strade is a Gatoverse creation XD; - meaning Gato created him and so it has no correlation with my demon types. He would probably be like a level 4 or 5 maybe (aside from being LARGE, idk about his other power sets lol) and a clear case of needing an exorcism :d

Both of them are naturally charismatic (though, Demon!Rire can dial his up to noticeably unnatural levels). Human!Rire can be considered more manipulative and subtle than the demon version since in his 'verse "real world" consequences are actually things he has to consider. He is also a bit less interested in mind games than Demon!Rire.

-...gestures at humans, which he prefers to mess with for the sheer variety of reactions-

That is not part of his skill set, no :d Also much in the same way that animals with sharp teeth don't willy nilly bite their tongues off, demons with sharp teeth are like...used to having/biologically designed to have sharp teeth.

THANKING YOU \o/

It wouldn't lol. Also if i saw Rire IRL i would immediately pretend to have NOT seen him because that would mean that I've somehow had a hand in creating a tulpa.

[bumblebeerror]

Hey so. I have something I need you guys to know on this disability pride month.

TLDR: Johnson and Johnson has a patent on a drug that is effective against drug-resistant tuberculosis, a curable disease that kills many people in poorer countries. That patent runs out this august, but they have a secondary patent on the drug with an added compound that makes it work better - and are planning to use this patent to keep generic versions of this drug from being produced and distributed to poorer countries. I cannot underline enough that tuberculosis is still a massive killer and is entirely curable, but people die of it because of this patent making the medication too expensive to obtain.

John’s video this week goes more in depth, but the call to action is needed. Spread this. Know about this. Write to the company. If you care at fucking all about this, please tell someone. Johnson and Johnson needs to know that their consumers will not be turning a blind eye to them trying to squeak around this. Put the blood on their hands where it belongs. Please.

https://youtu.be/tMhgw5SW0h4 (John Green’s video about this)

[janeyseymour]

Panera's Box- part 2

part 1.

Summary: Melissa finds that opening panera's box may just be worth it for you. but then again, who knows.

WC: ~3.05k

After Melissa Schemmenti decides to open up her ‘Panera’s box’ and throw caution to the wind, she finds that she’s quite nervous. Back when she was younger, those who were in a homosexual relationship were usually condemned- or at least made fun of. Put in a fishbowl. Made a spectacle of.

So, the two of you decide to keep it quiet for a bit. If that’s what she’s more comfortable with at this point, you’ll make that sacrifice.

“Hun,” you chuckle as she sits in the staff room nervously. Her shirt is balled up at the ends, and she’s clenching her fists so tightly you could swear she’s shaking. “What’s got you so nervous today? You seemed fine last night.”

“I- what if they know?” your now girlfriend asks.

“Know what?” you raise a brow as you take a seat next to her.

She looks to you, and then just barely above a whisper, she breathes out, “Us.”

“Mel,” you have to stifle your laugh. “They aren’t going to know just by looking at you that you decided to explore this side of yourself last night. Unless either of us explicitly says anything, they aren’t going to think it’s anything more than the harmless flirting that we’ve always done.”

The redhead turns to you with pursed lips. “A-are you sure?”

“Positive,” you promise her gently. “I won’t do or say anything more than what I’ve already done when we were just friends.”

The rest of the group comes in not too much later. Both you and Melissa are in your respective places.

Barbara settles in next to her work wife with a smile. “How was last night with Captain Rob?”

Green eyes bore into your own. “I ended it with him.”

“Melissa, sweetheart,” the kindergarten teacher turns her voice to butter. She lays a sympathetic hand over the second grade teacher’s.

“It’s fine,” your girlfriend shrugs. “I realized that I didn’t want that.”

Barbara nods along with pursed lips. “That’s- that’s good, I suppose.”

Melissa just nods along. “Yeah.”

When Janine starts to look at the two of you, you just smile.

“How was your night last night, Y/N?” Jacob asks you. “End up doing what you-”

“Why are you suddenly so interested in what she did last night?” Melissa cuts in quickly, accusatory. “Hm? Think she did something? ‘Cause she didn’t!”

The social studies teacher raises his hands in surrender. “I- I’m sorry?”

“Don’t apologize,” you chuckle with a wave of the hand. “I just read a book and drank some-”

“We’re dating,” your girlfriend blurts out. “She read a book and drank wine with me!”

Your eyes widen in response to her sudden confession. You were not expecting her to be the one to let the cat out of the bag- especially this early on.

When you’re expecting the others in your friend group to immediately jump in with questions but they don’t, you’re a bit confused. The redhead seems even more confused.

“Alright, come on! Say it! Ask all of your annoying questions!” Melissa goes on.

Janine shrugs a little, Jacob just looks between the two of you, Gregory has his trademarked blank stare, Ava is smirking, Barb is all grins, and Mr. Johnson just chuckles at the awkward silence.

“Well?” Melissa prompts.

Jacob pipes up softly. “That’s really great, Mel Mel. We’re happy for you.”

“We also kind of all assumed you were already dating,” Gregory shrugs.

“The way you sit is enough to tell em you ain’t straight,” the principal states as she exits the room.

“We’re very happy for the two of you,” the kindergarten teacher lays a gentle hand over Melissa’s.

Green eyes look to you, although she looks rather confused as supposed to satisfied with the fact that your work friends were okay with your relationship.

That night, you end up at Melissa’s house again for dinner. The two of you prepare dinner in the same way that you would before- humming along to whatever music she chose to put on and seamlessly working through the kitchen. Although there is a difference- her hands rarely leave your body. And if they aren’t on you, she’s right next to you, close enough for her to lean over and kiss you softly when she wants.

“This is nice,” your girlfriend sighs out once the two of you. “Just… finally being able to have you.”

You hum your agreement as you take a bite of the meal. Then you decide to gently approach what happened today. “So, you want to tell me what made you tell our friends so early on? I thought you wanted to wait.”

“I-” your girlfriend’s cheeks turn about as red as her hair. “I freaked out.”

“I know,” you tell her as you lay a hand over her own. “But then even when you did tell them, you were acting kind of strange. Like you expected a bigger reaction out of them.”

Melissa shrugs. “I mean… you know how they’re always so nosy.”

“They are,” you laugh.

“A-and I guess I just expected them to not really be okay with us dating,” green eyes stare down at your hands.

“Why would that be?” you ask gently. “You and I both know everyone at Abbott is rooting for Janine and Gregory- why would we be any different?”

Your girlfriend lifts her head to look at you. “Because we’re both women?”

“Oh,” you let out quietly. “Hun.”

“I mean, I just… I don’t know. Growing up and when I was in college, it wasn’t easy being in a relationship with a woman.”

“Things have changed,” you promise Melissa. “I promise you. No one is going to judge us for both being women and dating.”

“What about the age gap?” your girlfriend asks quietly.

“If anyone has anything to say about that,” you chuckle. “They’ll have hell to pay.”

For about a month, you’re content to keep things under wraps. Your coworkers know, yes, but you don’t make a big show about it. They don’t necessarily ask questions. You’re still in your own little bubble of domestic bliss.

You don’t go out with the redhead. Yes, you do certain things like go to the mall together or get a quick coffee, maybe pick up takeout. But you haven’t been out on a public date yet. And you wish you would already. But she still seems nervous, wary of how people will perceive a public relationship between the two of you- what would happen if you ran into students and their families?

“So I was thinking maybe I could take you out tomorrow?” you offer while sitting on her couch with a glass of wine. “Maybe a nice walk in the park and some coffee? Lunch?”

“Go out?” Melissa asks, and you hate that you can practically hear the quiver in her voice.

“Yeah, babe,” you sigh and wrap an arm around her. “We’ve been dating for a month, and we have yet to be on a real official first date.”

“I like staying in,” the redhead counters.

You lean over to press a kiss to her temple. “I do too, but I would also like to be able to go out with you every once in a while.”

“I just-” Melissa quirks her lips to the side. “I’m nervous. What happens if we run into a family from school?”

“Well,” you sigh. “That is a very real possibility, but I used to run into families from my old school in my last relationship- nobody minded.”

“Really?”

“Really,” you tell her. “And besides, it’s not like we’re the only gay people at Abbott. Everybody knows Jacob is gay, and nobody has an issue with him, right?”

Your girlfriend mulls this over in her head. “I guess. But he also dates people his own-”

“Nobody cares that you’re a little older than me,” you assure her. “If anything, I’m bragging that I got an older woman to go out with me.”

With a bit more convincing, you’re able to get your girlfriend to come out of the house with you for your first time as a couple. You’re holding her hand gently while you sip the coffee that you had bought with the other hand.

Every so often, you feel Melissa squeeze your hand tightly. You just squeeze it back softly to promise her that everything is alright.

She seems so alert of her surroundings. That isn’t uncommon for someone of the Schemmenti family, but you’ve seen the way that Melissa is when she’s alert- this is overkill, even for her. Her eyes are shifting around constantly, and she glares down anybody who so much as looks your way.

“Honey,” you tug her in gently by the hand. You press a soft kiss to her temple. “We’re okay. I promise you.”

You hate that you can see the scared little girl that Melissa is always trying to hide when you look into her eyes.

“I- I’m sorry,” the redhead mumbles. “I’m good. I’m good.”

“You aren’t,” you frown. “And that’s okay. Why don’t we just grab some takeout for lunch, and then we can get back home?”

“I know you wanted to go out though,” your girlfriend shakes her head. “I’m fine… babe.”

“How about this?” you try to compromise. “We can walk to the takeout place instead of driving, and then we can go back home?”

Melissa shrugs. “I know you wanted to-”

“But if you aren’t comfortable with it, what kind of girlfriend would I be to continue to push this on you? We’ll just take it slow- baby steps.”

The redhead shrugs. And then in a daring move, she kisses your cheek. “Thank you.”

You can’t help but beam with pride.

It’s a few days after the park debacle that Melissa actually approaches you about going out on a public date.

“Really?” you raise a brow as you pause your grading to look at her. “Hun, I don’t want you to think we have to. I’m perfectly content to take this at your pace.”

Your girlfriend shakes her head. “No. I- I’m being silly.”

“Why do you think you’re being silly?” you ask.

“Because,” Melissa cuddles with her hands for a few seconds. “I- I’ve been thinking. The group hasn’t said anything bad, our park date wasn’t bad… one of my kids even came up and told me she has a crush on another girl in the class. I- I guess I’ve just been in my head about all of this. Times have changed. It isn’t really frowned upon anymore.”

You take her hands gently in your own. “It isn’t. But if you’re still uncomfortable with it, I’m not going to force you to do anything hun.”

“I want to,” your girlfriend promises you with a soft kiss. “I want to.”

So that weekend, you end up going out- all day. And with each place, you promise Melissa that it’s okay if she wants to leave at any point, you’re more than happy to in order to keep her comfortable. And each time, she gives you that tight lipped smile that tells you she’s going to get through the day- she’s determined.

It’s a full day, as you would later find out. As opposed to waking up to a full breakfast downstairs, you wake up with your girlfriend still in your arms. It’s something that usually only happens if you end up staying the night during the school week. It’s a nice change though- a welcome change. You bask in that sleepy haze for a few minutes until she starts to wake up. 

She takes you out to breakfast. And it’s lovely. It’s peaceful, and the two of you are more than happy to be in this small little diner in the middle of the city. What you aren’t expecting is to run into two of your coworkers- granted, they know that the two of you are dating; all of the Abbott staff members do at this point. But Gregory and Janine going to breakfast together?

“Melissa! Y/N!” Janine squeaks out. “It- it’s so funny seeing you here. And… Gregory? That’s so weird that we’re in the-”

“We aren’t going to tell anyone,” you roll your eyes playfully. “Your secret is safe with us.”

“Thank you,” Gregory gives you a grateful look.

“Just don’t tell no one we were here either,” Melissa grumbles as she takes your hand to lead you out.

You’re just walking down Pine Street to get to Broadway hand in hand with your girlfriend when you hear your name being called. And then you hear her name a few seconds later.

When you expect the redhead to rip her hand away from you, she doesn’t. Instead, she squeezes your own tightly to ground herself before turning around with a smile on her face.

Thankfully, it’s a student and her mother who are quite involved with the school, and you know for a fact that they won’t have any such issues with you being together.

“Oh, how lovely,” the mother smiles at the two of you and gestures to your intertwined hands. “The two of you must be very happy together.”

“We are,” Melissa confirms with a small shrug and nod. “Thank you.”

The two of you talk to the student for a few moments before the mother ushers the little girl away from you. As they go, you can hear the mother explaining that being gay isn’t a bad thing at all.

“Wow,” your girlfriend whispers as she watches them go. “That- that was really nice.” You only respond by pulling her closer to you and wrapping an arm around her waist. The two of you continue on down the street to walk through center city for a bit with smiles on your faces.

That is until your girlfriend kisses you softly by city hall. You’re not really sure what makes her show affection like that, especially after being so nervous about being out in public, but you don’t find yourself complaining.

“Mel,” you sigh softly.

“I’m done hiding from the world,” the redhead mumbles against your lips with a smile. “I- I love you, and I shouldn’t be ashamed of that.”

Your eyes widen as you take in those three special words that Melissa just spoke.

“What, honey?”

“I said I love you,” Melissa whispers as she presses her forehead against your own.

“I love you too,” you tell her gently, yet with conviction. You kiss her again warmly with a smile.

What the two of you don’t know is that with being in Philadelphia, there’s always some sort of photographer roaming around the streets trying to make a quick buck by capturing moments and praying on tourists.

Not that you and Melissa look like tourists by any means, but the man can’t help but capture this sweet moment between you and your girlfriend.

He runs up to you once he’s captured the photo and the two of you part.

“Excuse me?” he taps you on the shoulder. How lucky he is that he didn’t tap the redhead’s. Otherwise, he’d probably be on the ground with a mouthful of blood.

“Hi?” you turn. “How can I-”

He just turns his camera so that you can see the image he captured. “Listen, it’s clear you two aren’t tourists, so I won’t try to sell this picture to you, but I can’t help but think that it’s the perfect picture.”

You take a glance at it. It’s- it’s a wonderful picture. He clicks the camera to show you another shot. Your girlfriend has a look of pure and unfiltered love for you in those sparkling green eyes of hers. And the smile on your face couldn’t be more genuine as she told you she loved you for the first time.

“Wow,” you whisper in amazement. You feel Melissa lean into your figure as she too gets a look at the picture.

“How much do you want for it?” the redhead asks.

The photographer’s eyebrows creep up his face. “I told you I wasn’t going to try to sell it.”

“How much?” your girlfriend asks again.

The man gets your details, and then he promises to send you the picture by the end of the day once you hand him a twenty dollar bill.

“Only twenty dollars,” you say with a content sigh as the two of you continue on your way.

“Just hope it wasn’t a scam,” Melissa chuckles.

You shrug. “I don’t think it was.”

You settle into bed that night with smiles on your faces.

“Good day?” you ask quietly as you kiss your girlfriend’s shoulder.

You feel her nod rather than hear her verbal response. You know she has to be half asleep.

“Think we can do it more often?”

Again, you feel her nod, and then you close your eyes yourself.

As time passes by, Melissa realizes that no one really minds that the two of you- two women- are dating. Nobody at school bats an eye. Nobody really gives you a second glance when you’re walking hand in hand together. It really isn’t a big deal that you have a girlfriend, and no one really seems to care that there’s a bit of an age gap between the two of you either. It’s not like it’s that easy to tell anyway- Melissa Schemmenti is hot.

And because nobody seems to mind that the two of you are dating, nobody seems to mind when the two of you move in together, get engaged, or get married.

“Was I worth opening up Pandora’s box?” you nudge your now wife as you settle on the couch after your wedding.

Melissa furrows a brow. “I’m still convinced it’s Panera’s box, thank you very much, Mrs. Schemmenti.”

“Mhmm,” you hum with a playful roll of the eyes. You press a soft kiss to her temple before turning on the television and finding something to unwind to after the events of today. 

And above your television? The two pictures that the photographer you had met in center city hang perfectly. You’re sure that once he edits and sends you the pictures from your wedding, a few favorites will also be hung around the house. 

TAGS: @schemmentis @thesapphictimelady @marvel210 @itisdoctortoyousir @morgana-larkin @doesthatsuggestanythingtoyou @marvels--slut @sweetcheeksschemmenti @megamultifandomtrashposts @lemz378 @http-sam @melissaschemmentisbranzino @imaginesmultifandoms @sexysapphicshopowner @lilfartbox1 @maybe-a-humanbean @imlike-so-gaydude @a-queen-and-her-throne @notinmyvocab @melanielaufeyson @dvrkhcld @cosmichymns @sasheemo @m1lflov3rrr @ricejucie @temilyrights @emilynissangtr @squinnchy @dopenightmaretyphoon @emeraldoceansstuff @shinyfaerielights  @blkmxrvel @marvelwomenrule @sarahjohannson @casualfoxwitch @babytakeittothehead

[imagine-shenanigans]

i havent written anything in a hot minute but creepy neighbor johnny? anyone? shakes him like a bag of chips at you all

He lives in the same shitty building you're stuck in, with no in unit washer/dryer, and the only machines are available in the basement. They're ancient but they work, and they're just so much cheaper than a laundromat and you can barely drag yourself down into the basement when youre off of your night shift to wash your work uniform, let alone drag your carcass down to a laundromat outside of the safety of your locked building.

And usually despite being tired it works great! You can chuck down an instant meal while you sit in the laundry room after work, scrolling through your phone. You get all of the four washers/dryers free for yourself (though you never use all four, youre not crazy).

And whenever Johnny's home he's always jetlagged to fuck, and if he's alone he'll just do his laundry whenever he feels like it - which usually tends to be in the middle of the night, because if Mrs Johnson from down the hall grabs his bicep one more time he'll scream.

His obsession with you immediately snaps into place when he sees you sitting on top of the dryer, half asleep as you play on your phone. (Because like hell are you leaving your clothes unattended.) He tries to make small talk, making jokes or asking questions just to keep hearing your tired, slightly incoherent voice.

"Cold water," you yawn, rubbing at your face.

"What's tha' hen?"

"Blood," you clarify tiredly, leaning forward a bit to point at one of his shirts. "You wanna use cold water for blood. Not hot. The proteins in blood clump or something? I think? Anyway it'll set the stain."

Johnny blinks, and flicks the knob to cold instead of hot, a chuckle rumbling in his throat. He finishes loading the washer, and then moves to bracket his arms on either side of you, leaning in just a liiiitle too close and thanking you.

Plucks at your sleep shorts and runs the flimsy fabric between his thumb and forefinger.

Makes an off color joke about what a good little housewife/spouse/husband you'd be thats just a LITTLE too enthusiastic. Doesn't move back nearly far enough when the buzzer of the dryer finishing "saves" you. It makes it so you brush up against him when you clamber down and bend to get your clothes.

Watches you leave and memorizes what floor you set the elevator to. Ecstatic when he realizes you're on the same floor - nearly goes rabid when he hears your voice coming from the adjacent wall the next morning when your shower kicks on.

From them on he seems to ALWAYS be doing laundry when you are, like he's got a sixth fucking sense for it. He never does it where you can see, either but you SWEAR he's taking your underwear from the laundry basket on purpose. You just can't prove it because no matter how hard you stare or keep watch, or wait... he always, without fail, produces a pair of your skimpiest/most revealing/tightest pair of underwear from SOMEWHERE and chuckles that he found something of yours.

Then he asks for a finders fee, and, without fail, every single time, his request escalates from the last one.

He starts with asking for a hug, then a few weeks later he's escalated to a kiss on the cheek, but he always turns his head at the last second. By the third week he's giving you a sloppy, open mouthed kiss that leaves you breathless before he'll even think about giving your underwear back.

(And, god forbid you refuse, because he'll just fucking pocket them.)

He steals your mail, comes over for a cup of sugar, anything he can think of to be in your space he will. And, of course, should you choose to ignore him, and pretend youre still sleeping? He takes advantage of the fact that you're the only neighbor on his side of the hall, and absolutely makes a menace of himself. Presses to the adjacent wall so hard even he worries he might break through it, and moans so loud you're convinced he might go mute.

And at first youre like. okay! no worries! ill just put on noise cancelling headphones! (and if you do anything without those headphones on, thats between you and god.) But then he starts moaning YOUR name and panting like youre in the fucking room with him, until you inevitably get complaints and nobody believes you when you say youre not fucking the hot military veteran because everyone heard it. (or thought they did)

and, if you ever find something of HIS and return it?

He's going to ignore your request for him to stop as your finders fee. He has some more creative ideas for it after all

[voxmortuus]

Hi! May I ask number #9 ☆ { holding } their shoulders for stability with Ben Leonard? I'm so in love with Ben! It's a crime there is nothing with him :( Thank you so much! ♡

⇘ PAIRING:⇙ Ben Leonard x F!Reader ⇘ UNIVERSE:⇙ Savages ⇘ WORD COUNT:⇙ 495 ⇘ TRIGGER WARNINGS:⇙ Smut from behind | P-i-V | PWP | Rough quickie in the kitchen | Maybe a broken dish or two, but surely not his favorite coffee cup | Shoulder gripping | Internal Finish | PLEASE TELL ME IF I FORGOT ANYTHING!!! I want to make sure readers are fully aware of what they are getting themselves into when they read this… ⇘ NOTES:⇙ Sorry if this is total ass... but I hope this brings you some joy. Prompt from this list. Also side note Anon... if you're meaning anything else with Ben... well, no there is nothing else with this character, but if you mean the actor... I think you need to look up the cast of Savages because there is a ton of Aaron Taylor-Johnson out there. I hope you find more of his work you enjoy!! ⇘ DIVIDER CREDIT:⇙ @nyxvuxoa ⇘ IMAGE CREDIT:⇙ @nyxvuxoa ⇘ My Master Masterlist ⇙ ⇘ My Aaron Taylor-Johnson Masterlist ⇙

With a gasp you grab at what you can, feeling your skirt hiked up around your waist, you bite your lip, realizing there's nothing to grab, he thrusts himself into you with a force. Wimpering you accidently knock a dish off the counter, the plate breaks, nothing to worry about. But he moves that cup so you don't break his favorite cup. His thrusts are hard, they're fast, and they're with a sense of mission.

You don't quite care, you have the same idea in mind, and truthfully, this was your fault, you asked for it, teasing him unforgivingly. He warned you the moment you walked through that door he'd bend you over and he did just that. With each bare cocked thrust, came a whimper, the sound of skin thrusting and slapping against each other caused you to wimper a little more. Biting your lip you smile against the tightness of that lip bite.

There were no words that needed to be exchanged between you two other than a few escaped fucks. Your hand looses grip on the tile counter top and slips again, knocking off a cup. He snarls. Thrusting a little harder he's gripping at your hips but it just isn't enough. It's not the right angle, he can't get that perfect thrusting stability.

His hands snake up your back as he grips at your shoulders. Not only will this stop you from breaking his dishes, it will also give him a deeper penetration, and better momentum. With each thrust, you moan louder, filling that kitchen. Knowing this won't last for hours like you two usually do, you cherish this rough quickie with Ben. At times, you love when he gets rough and man handles the fuck out of you. At the same time, you love his soft, tender passionate side.

Gripping into your shoulders you bite your lip a little harder the faster he goes. Your moans and wimpers and become more frequent, your breaths become more shaky, your sounds are like music to this stoners ears. Your jaw slacks, your eyes flutter and that pressure quickly builds. Feeling as his pace quickens even more, you can tell he's about to bust himself. So maybe the pace was perfect.

A clench of your jaw, a harder grip on your shoulders, firmer thrusts, quicker pace, louder moans and grunts. Before you both know it, that quickie, was just that, a quickie, and your dripping all over the floor, from both of you. Biting your lip, you chuckle. Feeling as he slows his pace before pausing a moment and slipping from between your folds.

Once you take a moment to breath, you stand up, feeling the mess start to slip down your legs, you turn around and look at him with a smirk, he looks at the floor then to you and hands you the broom and dustpan. You chuckle, nod, and proceed to clean up your mess... in more than one way.

[cometcrystal]

pondering a lot about THAT'S THE NORM! and now i'm formulating an actual suzy & norm friendship. here are some scenarios

SCENARIO 1

suzy has just turned 16. candace is no longer her nemesis (because having a nemesis is a two-way street - suzy learned that during a seminar). she is applying for an internship at LOVEMUFFIN (she would have applied earlier and easily been accepted, but for legal reasons, they don't accept interns under 16). as part of her application, she has to carry out and document an evil scheme of her choosing.

idk what the exact scheme would be because this is just a conceptual post about character dynamics but she begins looking at classifieds for henchman listings. she'd much rather do it all by herself, but she is still Tiny and not physically strong at all, so she needs some muscle on short notice. she sees a "henchman for hire - will accept hamster food as payment" listing under the name Norm Doofenshmirtz, and gets in touch with him because he can lift up to 15 tons

when they first meet, she's initially put off by his general norm-ness, so she just assigns him to his muscle duties and goes on with her plan. but throughout the day, he suggests ideas and does things that actually ENHANCE the plan's evilness, and she is very impressed. hypothetical episode ends with "norm, i think this is the beginning of a beautiful henchmanship"

SCENARIO 2

suzy works towards helping norm become a Real Boy because it's something he's wanted for such a long time, and she doesn't mind doing him a favor. she generates him a brainless, soulless, humanoid flesh vessel from DNA she obtained from a barber shop, and transfers his consciousness to a mechanical brain which she puts in the vessel's skull.

he very quickly finds out that being a human sucks actually. he doesn't like actually HAVING to sleep instead of just shutting off. he doesn't like the sensation of chewing food. etc etc. PLUS, he still feels the same on the inside. he still thinks the same as he did in his original body, still feels the same emotions.

he goes back to his robot self pretty quickly and very happily says "let's never speak of this again!" and suzy is like "agreed" and dissolves the flesh vessel in a vat of acid. yes i recognize this is like a horror movie. yes i think the dwampyverse is messed up enough for this to be plausible

SCENARIO 3

suzy saves norm from being permanently deactivated/destroyed somehow. as they're fleeing the scene, norm is like "ms. johnson, you saved me!" and she's like "of course i did. you're my best friend."

(suzy is not very popular in school and she prefers it that way, but norm is the first time she's ever experienced having a long-lasting friendly relationship with someone that wasn't related to her)

she pauses. "we are friends, right?" he cries a motor oil tear. "now i know i have a heart. because it's growing!"

[trueloveistreacherous]

This offer expires when I hang up. Cliff told me about your circus freak lie detector thing. You come back right now, you put it to work for the Hasps and we'll see how it goes. I mean, look at that highway, kiddo. This life, how you're living, you like that life? Uh, I don't know. Uh, I'm good at it. It's what I got. Uh huh. And how long do you think you can keep it up? Well, Bea.....Let's all of us find out together, huh?

Natasha Lyonne as Charlie Cale in Poker Face (2023-present) created by Rian Johnson

[squoxle]

I saw your recent mtl and it got me thinking 🤔 who do you think is in Enhypen would want a clingy gf (like cuddles, PDA, and the freaky stuff yk) ?????🤭

[1] CRAZY OVER YOU, BABY ~ enhypen ot7

DISCLAIMER: this is just for fun, so if it doesn't fit you, don't take it personal :)

word count: not long enough to matter :/

♡ Now Playing: Moonstruck - Enhypen ♡ 01:32 ━━━━●───── 02:38 ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ : ▮▮▮▮▮▮

⋆. 𐙚 ˚Lee Heeseung

🎀 -> I typically see Hee as the type to want a clingy girlfriend who loves snuggling up next to him in bed all day. Probably watching something together, whether that be a movie or him playing a game. Try not to get too close though, he’ll likely end up getting rock-hard just looking at your precious smile.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚Jay Park

🎀 -> I think we can all agree on the strong daddy vibes Jay gives off. He is the ultimate dom with the sweetest heart. He’d probably like a girlfriend who’s a foodie. Whether you take the role of designated taste tester or co-chef, love would definitely be a not-so-secret ingredient in all of your recipes

⋆. 𐙚 ˚Sim Jake

🎀 -> This playful puppy would love a clingy girlfriend who goes everywhere with him. Due to his adventurous nature I see you and him spending time together doing a variety of activities, both indoors and outdoors. Around you he feels comfortable to be his normal silly self, jumping at any chance to make you laugh. Even if his jokes are corny as hell.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚Park Sunghoon

🎀 -> In typical Sunghoon fashion, a clingy girlfriend is EXACTLY what he wants. His jealous and possessive nature hates to see any man flirt with you. I could see you two together in public and when a random guy tries to hit on you, you reflect his response on what your boyfriend says about you. Your world revolves around him and he loves that about you.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚Kim Sunoo

🎀 -> I feel like a clingy girlfriend who loves everything he loves would be the perfect match for Sunoo. I could see the two of you being so close that you are sometimes mistaken for friends. I feel like Sunoo's interest in beauty, would lead to many couple-coordinated outfits. Whether that be a matching color scheme or an eye-catching theme, Sunoo would love to grace the world with his twin flame by his side.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚Yang Jungwon

🎀 -> You should already expect this busybody to need a clingy girlfriend who accompanies him when he’s busy. You could definitely help things get completed faster as the two of you work together. I can see you surprising him on his lunch break with his favorite food and a quickie.

⋆. 𐙚 ˚Nishimura Riki

🎀 ->Oh, Niki...I'm sure no one is surprised to see Niki as the jealous type. Much like Sunghoon, Niki's skin crawls at the sight of another guy flirting with you. I mean he might let a few catcalls slide, but once he's had enough, one throat-splitting stare will shake that walking creep will end that nonsense. PDA isn't really Niki's thing, he prefers to keep it private.

𝒦𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓉𝑜𝒷𝑒𝓇 𝑀𝒶𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇𝓁𝒾𝓈𝓉

❀ Thank you all so much for reading! Make sure to check out other works on my masterlist!

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