#John doesn't look that much like John in this one

[xinganhao]

a peek into the process that was making catch you when i can.

(1) vernon x rockstar!reader was largely unnamed for the most part. i only figured that it at least deserves a title when i revamped the series masterlist, but the answer was pretty instant.

i start (and end) the story with vernon and reader saying a variation of 'catch you when i can', which is established in part one as "something exchanged as often as 'i love you'." i feel like it captures the struggles of a long-distance relationship very well. it's also a shameless reference to the iconic leonardo di caprio and tom hanks film lol:

(2) this wasn't supposed to be a series, honestly. part two was my attempt to cope with svt's new york shows, and i was convinced that i would end it with the cliffhanger of rockstar!reader accidentally posting vernon on her main instagram. but the verse just wouldn't let me go— hence, the full-blown smau.

(3) the 'vernhow' style headcanons for part three are probably my favorite style of headcanons not only for this series, but also my entire blog. getting to play around with it was so fun. buried in it is the crux of what would eventually be the ending: "Everybody now knows that you, Chwe Hansol, have a girlfriend. Someone you want so bad that you'll go back on all the things you believe."

(4) when i first referenced john mayer's Edge of Desire in part three, i wasn't quite thinking of his 2010 hollywood bowl performance just yet.

i revisited it when i was facing intense writer's block for the final chapter and everything flowed easily after that. part five is best read with that version of the song playing (linked as suggested listening lol) because i wrote nearly the entire thing while looping the track.

↳ this part in the song reminded me of how part four's headcanons were entirely about vernon's definition of 'fight', and how— despite his willingness to keep going with the relationship— it's ultimately a two-way street. it doesn't matter how much one tries. if, at the end of the day, the two of you aren't in it together? then the relationship will end. plain, simple, harsh.

↳ in the first part, the headcanons touch on vernon not being a big believer in "long-distance relationships or relationships in general," which all completely change after he starts dating reader. the real clincher, though, is how vernon spends much of part five being a 'terrible' ex: unable to go without contact, still supportive as ever. as the song goes: he's scared you'll forget about him.

(5) part five intentionally uses the first nine or so panels from an outsider's perspective. i wanted to really drive home the struggle of their public relationship and how it might have taken its toll/strain on the couple. it's what eventually inspired the brief headcanons, ala-he said, she said.

(6) i almost made vernon specifically reference romcoms with airport reunions in the finale, but i didn't want to isolate readers who might have not seen said films lol. the movies that would have been referenced were love actually (2003) and serendipity (2001).

(7) my top three panels in no particular order are—

was obsessed with a panicked vernon going "my gorgeous princess wife babygirl" + very characteristic of him to suddenly swoon when one of his favorite bands is brought up + something about vernon wanting a do-over on his 'hard launch' is just. #real.

(8) Black Eye is first mentioned in a part two headcanon where reader performs it in a speakeasy in front of vernon. it's posed as the moment that vernon realized he might he in love.

this makes it all the more cruel how reader unwittingly jokes that Black Eye is a breakup song in part five. i chose to conclude the series on the track's anniversary for no other reason than me needing a specific deadline to wrap stuff up lol.

(8.1) i think i do recall having some of Black Eye bleed into the work, which might be evident in the following lyrics & consequent story parallels:

running 'round the whole city looking for someone -> ties in to part two, where the headcanons are based on how vernon and reader feel about new york city i can't stand the quiet/is anyone out there? is anyone out there? -> best encapsulated in how vernon continues to contact reader post-break up (also parallels mayer's 'i'm scared you'll forget about me') i'm on my worst behavior, don't stop me now -> in part four, vernon gets into a physical altercation with the press in defense of reader and he's adamant that he did the right thing i'm okay, i'll just let it burn around me -> best captures vernon in part five + another parallel to mayer, where a part in the song goes 'i'm just about to set fire to everything i see'

(9) ending this with what i anticipate to be part of the faqs, post-main story: why did vernon and reader break up just to get back together again?

the long answer: because people are messy. because we think we know best— for ourselves, for others— and so we act on those impulses in the name of self-preservation, or care, or whatever noble thing you want to call it. people are complex and complicated, and with that comes regret, romance, and everything in between.

"they should have just worked it out!" they did try. it's human nature to feel slighted when things don't work out in your favor. there's only so much tenacity that a person can have before they're cursing the universe for the cards they're dealt, so can vernon/reader really be blamed for fraying?

"the breakup was unnecessary!" i could argue that it isn't. say some bs about it being very necessary, in fact, for character development, plot progression (lol), 'not realizing what you have until it's gone'. the works. but admittedly? i agree.

we— vernon and reader included— make questionable choices. whether or not we double down, move on, or circle back is an entirely different story in itself. vernon and reader found their way back; not all of us are as lucky. but some of us can be, some of us have been, and that was enough for me to trust that the story would sail.

the knowledge that, at the end of the day, the love that 'wins' is the one that makes the work worth it.

the short answer: i just really wanted them to have a happy ending. god knows they deserve it.

thank you for reading and enjoying this little story! it was mine once, but it's all yours now. ❥

catch you when i can (vernon x reader)

⤿ a five-part series charting vernon's relationship with you, an international rockstar.

𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 —

✮ part one, the one with the origin story. ✮ part two, the one where vernon tours in your city. ✮ part three, the one where you go public. ✮ part four, the one about fighting. ✮ part five, the one where a choice has to be made.

ⓘ international rockstar!f!reader, long distance relationship, established relationship, use of pet names. fluff, angst. cussing.

annotations for the main verse.

𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐒 —

there's nothing here yet! :)

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 —

with love, kae ✎ i adore this verse so, so much that asks (i.e. drabbles, headcanons, smaus) for it will be perpetually open, regardless of whether or not my main requests are open. as always, this wouldn't have come to light without the anon who asked for it in the first place! i'm eternally indebted.

thank you for reading catch you when i can. <3

› scroll through all my work ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ my masterlist | @xinganhao

[abbyzins]

My Top Ghost Headcanons

mdni under the cut for minor nsfw <3

Ghost loves to dance. Especially to 1960's/1970's stuff. Think Bill Withers, ABBA, Elton John, The Beatles. He'd never tell a soul, and you'd have to beg him to dance with you at a bar or even just in your living room. But when you finally manage to drag him up, you find out that he is a shockingly good dancer. He chocks it up to being trained in hand to hand combat, which he claims is relatively similar.

Ghost has piercings. Like a lot of piercings, most of which would not be military approved if anyone out of his inner circle saw them for more than a moment. Surprisingly none are on his cock (he likes to keep that particular part of his anatomy as is.) He has his nipples pierced, his navel, septum, left nostril, tongue, and at least 12 ear piercings, spread relatively evenly between the two. All of which have some form of plain silver hoop or barbell running through them.

Ghost is a creep…Like in the most literal of ways. He’s never done anything too nasty (or illegal, because an arrest would absolutely cost him the job he values so much), but he keeps your nudes on clear view with the rest of his camera roll, like he’s daring someone to look over his shoulder. He likes to watch you sleep for fun- and not in an endearing way, in a looming over your side of the bed in his mask kind of way. He walks 10 steps behind you on the street, not because he wants to protect you, but because he wants to absolutely leer at your ass, because it’s a great ass, and pull you from behind into an alley to make out with you.

Ghost isn't conventionally attractive. He might have been, at one point, before his body was carved to hell, but he doesn't have the mostly faded, flush with the skin, conventionally sexy kind of hollywood scars. He's got deep red slashes that cause chronic pain, because they don't behave like normal skin. He has a Glasgow smile that didn't heal evenly, leaving red craters on either side of his face and the left side of his mouth ever so slightly open. Permanently. His body is covered in spiderwebs of scars and tattoos, some clearly from before he was injured, with slashes and nicks marring what were once clean lines. He's got scars on his arms and thighs that you'll never ask about, because even under the road map of trauma his body shows, the silvery white lines from his teenage years still show through. After a while they fade from view, and you can see the features that used to lay underneath the scarred skin. He doesn’t mind them anymore, and like you, has mostly stopped seeing them. (It's like loving someone with a really ugly mole, you stop seeing it after a while)

Ghost absolutely loves pet names. He'll call you anything he can think of, love, baby, princess, nothing is off the table. But the pet name that stuck, much to the confusion of everyone around you, was dolly. Neither of you had an explanation for why this stuck, you're a military woman after all. 150 pounds of pure muscle. A 5'7 attack dog who is terrifyingly good with knives and followed by the true rumor that you degloved a cadets testicle during hand to hand combat training in basic. Your call sign is Freak for gods sake, and still, to him, you're his precious dolly.

Ghost doesn't wear a mask because he's insecure about his appearance, he’s not, or because he wants to hide his scars, he doesn’t. He wears it because he doesn't want to make people uncomfortable. There was a point in his life, before he had a majority of his facial scars, that he would've never thought about covering his face, but after his first time venturing out without a mask and with a crater cut into either side of his face he decided it was something he’d never willingly do again. People stared and whispered, mothers scolded older children for looking too obviously while smaller children cried. But no one looked at him with fear that day, instead, their gazes were ones of pity, and there was nothing he hated more than being pitied.

For the first three years you knew him, Ghost's mask didn't come off in your presence. Even after you started whatever weird, dysfunctional friends with benefits thing you had, he still refused to take off the mask. He would, on incredibly rare occasion, roll it up as little as humanly possible to eat you out, but he'd stop if you looked at him for too long. A byproduct of this complete refusal to remove the full face covering, was that the two of you never kissed. It wasn't that he didn't want to kiss you...sometimes, rarely. But his aversion to removing his balaclava was stronger than the rare urge to put his lips on you. This full aversion to all things face covering removal related topics lasted into the second year of your little tryst, when, at dinner one night, he took off the mask. you didn't let him put it back on at home again.

[artificial-sleep]

Saw this post and had a good laugh, but I also want to break this down. Call this my Deanior thesis.

Throughout the show, we see Dean make a lot of compromised decisions and react in a lot of different ways. However, one thing remains true all of the time:

Dean is afraid.

✨ Let me elaborate.

When you really think about who Dean is fundamentally and what principles guide him in making the choices he does, you'll find that he's very transparent with his priorities. First and foremost, he wants his brother to be safe, and he will go to great lengths to achieve that (including giving his own life, sacrificing himself in some way, or even going as far as refusing Sam his bodily autonomy just to save him).

But consider it: Dean's perfect world is one where he can save lives and not have to worry about Sam. Sam is such an integral part of his personality, and the result of this is that he tanks 95% of his time into ensuring that his little brother is okay.

However, due to the nature of their job, he often fails at protecting Sam and then ends up making shit so much worse for him. The nature of the job is that Sam will never be safe, so, by proxy, Dean will never rest.

This is such an important plot point and something that reinforces some of my favorite headcanons of all time. For example, I believe that Dean doesn't actually want to hunt forever, and he'd settle down with Sam in a heartbeat if he thought that's what Sam wanted, too. Look at when he's most happy: when Sam is content and safe and has the things he wants.

I hear these questions circulate over and over: Why does Dean act the way he does? Why would he make the terrible choices he makes? The answer is that he's afraid. He's fucking terrified. There's no security in what he does. Everyday he fears losing his loved ones. He carries the literal weight of the world on his shoulders (see how he internalizes John's warning of 'People are dying' by turning it into his own slogan), and he gets no reprieve. This causes him to go to extremes to protect his support system.

All that he does, he does to bring honor and respect and safety and stability to his family (My favorite example of this being how much time he invests in his car, which was entrusted to him by John, and Dean views that vehicle as an extension of his father, like he's responsible for it in the same way he's always been responsible for his family. This is something he reverts back to in crisis.), but what holds him back time after time is crippling anxiety.

Dean functions on a spectrum of crisis at all times, whether minor or major (but always a crisis, regardless, at least for the average person). He self-medicates with liquor to numb and sedate himself after living through extreme horror and tragedy, and it's also the only time he'll indulge in pleasures for himself (women/getting laid), but other than that? He's not overly hedonistic or abrasive. He's obsessive. Like a helicopter parent. He's overbearing and fussy and needs constant reassurance, and he's in the worst possible line of work for that type of thinking. He's constantly overextended and emotional beyond belief, making any kind of discussion of his problems or feelings overwhelming and unrealistic — not because he's "too manly" (although, this is the facade he uses). He shuts down because it's the only way he can grapple with the intense trauma he goes through on a daily basis (traumas he's been enduring his entire life). He ignores it or represses it because acknowledging it only makes it all the more crippling.

Because of this and because of who Dean is, I find it endearing when Dean gets compared to his father. To me, this man is not like John at all (no matter how badly he wants to be, haha). He's nowhere near strong enough. Sam wants the entire box of Lucky Charms before Dean has had a bowl? Okay, Sammy. You can have it. Whereas John would have tutted at Sam and made him eat the spaghettios, teaching him some hard lesson about not getting the things you want just because you're passionate about them.

Dean, my beloved, who tightens his robe and demands to speak to Sam in the other room like he's about to bicker so hard that Sam's ears fall off. That's the Dean I know.

Now, I understand that Dean is an older brother who was made responsible for his brother at a young age WHICH HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE PROBLEMATIC (and I do love when it is made problematic in fiction hehehe).

I see a lot of good evidence that Sam has several unhealthy coping mechanisms that revolve around him offering himself up like a punching bag, ever the Christ figure. And while, yes, I agree, I don’t think that's his goal when interacting with Dean.

People will point out how he self-sacrificially offers himself up to Dean as a means to try to get him to relax. The popular interpretation here is that Sam knows that Dean takes pleasure or solace in hurting him, and Sam was raised to take beatings from his big brother and has grown to like it to some extent, like a victim of Stockholm Syndrome. Although this is a unique and thought-provoking case to build, I'm not sure it fits into the way these characters are canonized.

When I see Sam tell Dean, "You want to take another swing? Go ahead if it'll help," I see his brattiness, a challenge and test. It's little brother Sam, rolling his eyes and huffing under his breath, muttering, Jfc, Dean, will you calm down? What do you need? Need to blow off some steam? Because holy shit. I can take a shiner if it means you'll STFU. This is a strong and assured Sam, a cocky and certain one that tests his brother and even mocks him to an extent, knowing Dean is blowing things out of proportion and needs to step back and do something to ground himself.

In addition to this, a lot of people note how Sam's whole demeanor changes in later seasons. As far as Sam getting more and more shy and drawn into himself and apprehensive and reclusive in later seasons, I 100% blame Lucifer and the horrors™ of the life. Dean is not part of the problem here. Sam can't always trust Dean, and there are several instances of him feeling betrayed, but the root of betrayal is hurt (not fear), and Dean has the capacity to hurt Sam unlike others can because of how deeply they rely on each other.

But Dean pointblank putting Sam in immediate danger? Purposefully going out of his way to hurt Sam? I doubt it. Dean is harmless. Sam is bigger than him, has been training with him since they were kids. Sam is not some helpless little boy. He's not distressed and abused. He challenges and mocks Dean constantly anytime he tries to bring up the fact that he has seniority or that he's better at certain things because he's older.

I consider overall how Sam treats Dean, how he talks to him. Does Sam worship the ground Dean walks on? Does he revere him and step on egg shells to appease him? LOL, NO. Sam goes away to Stanford and still cops an attitude when Dean shows back up asking for a favor (This is not to shit on Sam. We love a healthy boy setting boundaries. But. I mean, Dean had to beg him. This goes to show Sam has no problem rejecting Dean and/or standing up for himself.).

Some of the strongest evidence I see of this in the series is when Sam has a moment of maturity and gets a snippet of an idea of just how much Dean sacrificed for him.

Sam has legitimately no idea how many sacrifices Dean made for him, has no idea that Dean spent his entire childhood being solely responsible for Sam. HEAR ME OUT, GUYS: SAM IS A SPOILED LITTLE BITCH AND THIS IS GOOD! THIS IS REALLY GOOD! DEAN DID A GOOD JOB BECAUSE, OUT OF ALL THE EVIL IN THE WORLD, SAM ISN'T SCARED, AND HE DEFINITELY ISN'T SCARED OF DEAN.

So, whereas I like to explore the toxic codependency of two brothers, I struggle to see an imbalance in their dynamic. Dean and Sam are each other's safe spaces. If anyone, Dean blow things out of proportion (see: "Red Meat" lol). Like. Dean is insane to Sam always, but Sam gets it. That's just his overbearing, clingy mother. 🩷

In summation, Dean would have benefitted from anxiety meds, but furthermore, he'd be a completely different character if he had a stable home and a Sammy that stayed close by to him. Still codependent to an unreal extent but happier.

[thelovetheystole]

I wrote a little something, because I can't stand the current situation with Aaron. I don't usually share what I write, but here it goes.

Aaron's been pushing it aside, rather successfully, for months now. It's nothing in the grand scheme of things really, some shared dna markers and a last name. It doesn't affect him in their daily life together, at least it hasn't so far.

The first time it does affect him though, it hits him like a smack across the face. Actually, he would have much preferred a literal smack.

John's taken him out, wants to treat him, and Aaron's reluctantly agreed. It turns out it's that bloody Italian restaurant near the hospital in Hotten and suddenly he's having vivid war flashbacks of Dr. Alex. Aaron regrets the analogy off the bat, John is the one who's been to war and has both emotional and actual scars to prove it. Still, Aaron can't shake the images of the doctor with the perfect hair and how close he had come to cheating on him... with Robert.

The thing is, Robert can't be on his mind now, he just can't. Not that he ever can, but especially not now, when he's about to be wined and dined by John. Pull yourself together, he tells himself and attempts a faint smile when his boyfriend looks at him.

That's when the smack across the face blindsides him. He hears John say they have a reservation under 'Sugden' and it's like Aaron realises, for the first time, what it means. What he's actually been doing. He feels a bit sick, suddenly the collar of his shirt is too tight, and he can feel the colour is draining from his face. He doesn't hear John anymore, all he hears is a medley of "Mr. Sugden" and "Mr. Dingle" and "I love you, Mr. Sugden-Dingle first" and it's fucking heartbreaking.

'I have to go', he hears himself say in a voice he doesn't even recognise as his own. John just looks at him with wide eyes and an open mouth. Aaron takes off but not before John tries to grab his arm to stop him. Aaron shakes himself free, and mutters 'sorry' under his breath. He's tearing up and he knows he's making a scene, but he runs for the door anyway. The cold December air that hits him makes it even harder to breathe for a second or two, but being outside still helps. Being on his own helps too.

Aaron starts walking, hands in his pockets, eyes already red from crying. He hasn't cried about Robert in a long time, he doesn't even know how to anymore. He's locked Robert away, ironically, in a place that's almost unreachable. He's done it with Jackson, Ben and Liv too, but not quite in the same way. It's okay to grieve them, people understand when he needs to do that. They're all gone - Robert is too but in another, more dangerous, way. The others can't come back, but Robert can.

Given what Aaron knows about Robert, he will come back, because where else would he go? To find Seb, sure, but then? He'll come home. It might not even be that long, Aaron realises. Five years have already passed. It feels like twenty.

He feels the guilt creep up when he dares to actually think about it. Robert coming back to the village where he was born, became a dad himself, got married. Only to find his ex-husband living with his new half brother. It doesn't matter how angry Aaron still is, or how hurt he was about being blanked and divorced. What he's been doing with John suddenly feels wrong in every way. How could he have let it go so far? Why hasn't the people around him questioned it more?

His brisk pace has taken him halfway home. He feels sick again when he sees the lay-by coming up in front of him. Where he was with John wasn't exactly here, but it was close enough. Aaron stops in his tracks and wipes his eyes. He sees it now, what he should have seen all along; the lay-by, the barn, the woods... He's been living in deja-vu mode without even noticing. Has he been projecting his feelings onto John? Or is something more sinister brewing beneath the surface?

Well, whatever it is, it stops now, Aaron decides. He takes a deep breath and as he starts walking again, his mind feels clearer than it's been in a long time.

[ryanclaremont]

It's a strange situation. Sloane was there for most of it, she gets it but opening up to others about it feels like some sob story. Ryan doesn't like to feel pitied, it's why her guards go up and she handles it herself. Perhaps not in the best way but it's better than it used to be. She trusts August, confides in him, listens to him, he's one of her favourite people. Something about being raw about that feels tremendously embarrassing.

She shakes her head, no apologies necessary. Of course she appreciates it, but he was doing the right thing. Leaning forward, Ryan presses a kiss to his lips and it's pronounced, very much a thank you laced in there. She lets it linger and maybe it tips on a danger zone but ultimately she is lucky to have someone like August in her life that sees her, cares. He's actually been there all along.

In a short departure of the kiss, Ryan looks at August with a small smile, "John, can you make a grilled cheese too, please?"

August sits down on the stool, leaning his forearms on the counter as he waits for John to put together a batch of fries for him. Thing is, he can always eat, hungry or not. So the fact he's about to munch on some fries just for the sake of it doesn't bother him. He's also not concerned about taking Ryan off the floor for longer than five. She needs to relax, breathe for a bit.

He turns a little to look at her when she begins talking and...alright, well that's something at least. Maybe it'll open a door at a different time when they can talk. He nods a little, bringing up his hand to playfully pinch her chin between his thumb and pointer finger.

"Alright," He agrees softly, "I'm sorry. I was just worried."

[kokabeeeel]

tw: abuse, non-con

———

“wait- wait! mommy please, no! i’m sorry- i said i was sorry! please don’t hurt me, mommy, please don’t.”

watching her beg, watching her plead and be at his complete mercy… god it was delicious.

“what did i say, sammy? what did mommy say in regards to saying no?”

"y-you said-"

"gonna need you to speak up, baby girl, i can't hear you."

"you said to not think it!"

beaming, dean tugged roughly at his baby girl's hair. "oh what a smart girl you are, sammy! no wonder you ended up here- i should give you a gold star, better yet-"

reeling his fist back, slammed it directly into sammy's nose, blood trickling down to her lips. gripping her chin tightly, dean brought his face close to hers, licking the blood off of his girl's face; smirking. "much better, don't you think so?"

"m-mommy, please, i'm begging you- please!"

“i raised you, sammy- i made you; is a farmer not allowed to sample his produce? is a chef forbidden to taste their food?” he lands a hand on her again, this time her eye. "don't deny me what i want, sammy. i can hurt you a whole lot more than what i already have- do. not. test. me."

sammy shakes her head violently.

the sigh dean lets out is filled with annoyance. “what is it going to take for you to understand, sammy, i take what i want- i get what i want. do i need to beat it into you, huh? black and blue just like john used to- is that what’s gonna help get everything through your thick skull?”

watching sammy flinch in fear, dean lets out a loud laugh and its toxic; acidity burning the oxygen surrounding them. placing his hand against sammy's throat, he tightens it, to the point he can feel the muscle give way under his palm. “come on, sammy, you ended up at stanford, i thought you were supposed to be smart.”

dean can see the exact moment his baby girl gives up; eyes fading and body going limp, she nods - dean releasing the grip he has around her neck.

with tears in her eyes, she slowly pulls down the leggings she had changed into prior to them leaving stanford originally - though if you were to ask dean, he would say sammy should never have changed out of her sleep dress, it would've made this whole ordeal much easier - leaving her in one of dean's old shirts and lace panties.

"much better, baby, glad to see you're learning your place

dean's not gentle when he enters: zero foreplay, or easing with his fingers; lube to making things pleasurable for his sweet girl - tonight is all dean, dean, dean, dean, dean.

he uses her, he nips at her. claws are her skin and leaves red streaks all over her body. she's motionless; allowing her body to used an moulded as if she were clay.

there is nothing she can do to remove her mommy from her body.

when it's finally over, she can't even feel satisfaction from it being over, she feels dirty.

“just you remember, sammy.” his voice is saccharine, but she still flinches, she can't help but think that's the way things are going to be from this point forward. “i brought you into this world- i can sure as shit take you out of it.”

climbing off her, he’s not gentle when he pulls out, but she doesn’t move: static and pretty; she doesn't even swipe at the red running down her leg.

as dean gets back into the drivers seat, and looks in the rearview mirror, he can see his baby girl bathed in blood and sweat; coated in tears and cum.

he laughs quietly to himself - sammy would learn her place, even if dean had to beat it into her.

———

part 1 part 2 part 3

[ttec77]

Have this drawing I made like a month ago and completely forgot about while I work on finals.

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

[lieut-dundy-le-vesconte]

>he'll take him back into his arms, squeezing tight, rubbing his back Heyyy heyyy shhh its ok John it's ok >part of him loves being needed, loves the attention. But it's not that, it's that he has so so so much respect for John. So much. He... he pulls back again. Looks him in the eyes again. He needs him to see him when he says this, all the thoughts that have just passed through his head. John has to hear them. Dundy shouldn't be keeping them to himself; the man needs to know

Look, John. Here's how it goes. >he runs his thumbs over his cheeks, wiping away the tears, then sighs. He hates being vulnerable like this, but John needs to hear this. He has the feeling he's the kind to tear himself apart. And he doesn't want to lose another good man. They're one in a million. You... hm. You... you heard me out. You didn't deny me for my... for my honesty. You... you t-took me in and-and... lay your love down over my shoulders, despite...despite the v-vast gap of differences between us, besides any of those... those prejudices you may have been raised with. I know... I know how hard that is. To-to lay aside those differences for one stupid fuck like me... but you did. You did even if you didn't have to. And ... and that means... a lot. To me. Coz im just... >he shrugs a stupid lost puppy. A broken war dog... n yet you saw something in me... ugh. You saw something in me w-worth loving >he's tearing up. He'll run the back of his hand over his eyes n... n I wanna give it ... back to you. To.. to pay you in kind... I'll... I'll never ever be able to love as purely as you do, but ... but at least I can love you

>it's true. He can love him. He can always make more room for those that really truly matter. For those that... that don't abandon him

Sir, I am so sorry that these uncouth sailors have been hounding you. How about we sit together in the library with some tea, biscuits, and books? I don't want to force you into company, but I don't think you should be alone right now.

A friend,

@ej-helpman

Mr. Helpman? I... think I might need that, yes.

Please.

Please don't let me be alone.

[angelsdean]

no but really it's funny sam thinks dean is john 2.0 when s1 dean is just. content to take on random cases and help save some people and is trying to do some good w/ the hand he's been dealt and isn't all that interested in his father's revenge quest and up until then has always had to play the mediator and swallow down his own feelings and anger. while sam's the one who quickly becomes obsessed w/ revenge the minute he loses jess and finding the thing that killed her and is quick to anger. "you're more like him than i'll ever be" "i'll take that as a compliment" "you can take that however you like" etc etc

[natelia-aldelliz]

I wanted to try and find my headcanon of Roach's face because for some reason my brain decided that I couldn't keep writing my fanfic if I didn't know what I wanted him to look like beneath his mask... So obviously the full picture wasn't planned. (Also I went the easy way for the background because I remembered that I wasn't getting paid anyway so why make myself suffer)

I don't know if the design is definitive, but I find him cute. I made him Welsh, because why not. He can bond with Soap over why the fuck do the English exist.

Anyway they're gossiping about someone at the pub like the little shits they are. Also I don't know if it's obvious or not, but Roach has the mask sun-tan line. Ghost does too. Speaking of Ghost, he's on the other side of the table, looking like that :

[rin-hanarin]

Sometimes I realize how much self-indulgent dirkjohn I made and it's like. Genuinely impressive to me. I'm impressed by my own art/fic and even analysis posts because damn, I miss my own energy, you mean I was able to just make shit up because I tend to be a little bit bonkers when I'm really passionate about something? For real?

[freshmangojuice]

Favourite Cat Outfits 10/10

Cropped black teddy fur jacket with tassels on the shoulders and bottom edges, knee-high burgundy boots over high-waisted black trousers with subtle pairs of side stripe ribbons, burgundy and gold geometric patterned vest over a gold shimmer shirt. All gold accessories including a chained brooch, a signet ring, and gold clips in long plaited hair with a smooth bouffant on top, as well as square-rim sunglasses with black frames and small gold detail on the arms. Designed by Howard Burden

[sga-owns-my-soul]

me going into the Murder Basement at my work: hi john. don't kill me today. bye john

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

mr faust. never not thinking abt him.

[got9lives]

edits relating to selina kyle 001 / ? ft parents : maria kyle (nia l.ong) in 1996 when she met carmine falcone to falcone in present canon before his death.

both deceased. falcone wasn't around as selina grew up something which she resented him for. especially as her mother was murdered when selina was only 7-8 years old. selina blames him for her murder because he wasn't there for them. falcone was murdered (shot long range) by the riddler right after apprehension by the batman and jim gordon in present times for her main verse set in tbm22. that was moments after selina herself attempted to kill him but was foiled by the bat.