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rhysdarbinizedarby · 1 year ago

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‘Our Flag Means Death’: How Blackbeard & Stede’s Fantastical Underwater Reunion Came Together

[Warning: The below contains MAJOR spoilers for Our Flag Means Death, Season 2, Episodes 1-3.]

It doesn’t take more than a single second to recognize Kate Bush‘s haunting and heartbreaking tune “This Woman’s Work,” as Blackbeard, a.k.a. Ed (Taika Waititi), is pushed from a clifftop to plunge into the ocean’s depths below in Our Flag Means Death‘s Season 2 installment, “The Innkeeper.” But how did the pirate heartbroken over Stede Bonnet (Rhys Darby) wind up in this position? It’s a delicate and winding path that starts with the infamous pirate’s unraveling over the course of the latest season’s first two episodes.

Believing Stede intentionally abandoned him after planning to run away together at the end of Season 1, Blackbeard embraces the version of himself so many have conjured up in their minds as he leads the Revenge’s “new” crew to pillage and plunder on the high seas. His unhinged behavior eventually forces Jim (Vico Ortiz), Izzy (Con O’Neill), Frenchie (Joel Fry), Archie (Madeleine Sami), and Fang (David Fane) to violently take control of the ship and neutralize Blackbeard — or so they think — after he steers them directly into a storm.

When Zheng Yi Sao’s (Ruibo Qian) Red Flag happens across an eerie-looking Revenge on the ocean, Stede dives overboard in his excitement over the possibility of seeing Ed, only to be told various excuses for his absence by the crew aboard. When Stede directly addresses Izzy regarding Blackbeard’s lack of presence, the now peg-legged pirate claims the Revenge crew dropped Ed on a beach.

This seems to ring true as we see Blackbeard wash ashore and cared for by his own former captain Hornigold (Mark Mitchinson). While together, Blackbeard and Hornigold discuss the mutiny that took place and Blackbeard’s hopes for the future. When a role-playing scenario testing Blackbeard’s ability to be an Innkeeper, a profession he’s interested in, goes awry, he attacks Hornigold, killing the tarp-clad pirate. But when Hornigold rises again, Blackbeard realizes something is off.

Aboard the Revenge, Ed’s body is uncovered below deck. Believing him dead, Zheng Yi Sao is forced to consider killing the Revenge crew for mutiny after initially welcoming them aboard the Red Flag. And Stede has to cope with the idea that his love may be gone forever.

After hatching an escape plan for the Revenge team, Stede and pals return to their former ship, leaving Zheng stranded without a wheel. Going to sit with Ed’s body, Stede wonders why he had to go and get himself killed. Meanwhile, Blackbeard begins to realize he’s stuck somewhere between life and death, a place this Hornigold manifestation calls a “gravy basket.”

As the two men banter about the pros and cons of choosing life over death, Hornigold ties a boulder around Ed’s waist and throws it from the cliff they’re standing on, pushing Blackbeard into the ocean. Just as it seems as though he’ll succumb to the waves, Blackbeard proves Bush’s song right: Perhaps there’s a little life in him yet. When Stede lifts the cloth from his face on the Revenge, underwater Ed reacts to the change. Peering into the water, he sees a light from which a fantastical mermaid version of Stede emerges.

In the real world, Stede reacts to Blackbeard’s twitching hand, taking it in his and pleading for him to live as a montage of their moments together rolls alongside Bush’s still-playing song. The final seconds of the episode see Ed’s eyes open, giving Stede hope.

So, how did this moving turn of events come to pass? A team full of creatives was responsible for bringing the captivating and satisfying reunion.

Stede’s Mermaid Tail

“It’s a huge process,” putting together Stede’s practical mermaid look, according to costume designer Gypsy Taylor. She says “it started with me begging everybody” to avoid visual FX and make a tail for the sequence. The orange and glittering look could have followed several different styles, but ultimately, Taylor notes, “I thought if Stede is going to turn into a mermaid, and it’s in Blackbeard’s dream, it’s sort of his vision of a mermaid.”

Considering this, in Taylor’s mind, Blackbeard wouldn’t envision some epic fantastical creature; instead, Stede would “just be like a goldfish. He’d just be like a sweet harmless goldfish.” In putting sketches together of the ensemble, Taylor acknowledges the symbolism of the goldfish motif: “There’s a huge Chinese element that we have coming through, and goldfish in Chinese culture is considered lucky.” As this vision of Stede was responsible for helping bring Ed back to life, that luck was certainly there.

“I thought that was a pretty beautiful thing, that they meet each other under the ocean and then they find each other,” Taylor gushes. “And so I went a little deep on that, but really he’s just a goldfish.” In order to achieve the goldfish mermaid look, Taylor teamed up with props master Hayley Egan, who’s based out of Australia. “She happens to excel at making mermaid tails,” Taylor shares.

After securing Egan’s involvement, Taylor says, “We fit Rhys in a jumbo stretch long skirt and made sure it was really tight so he could still sort of do this dolphin [swimming] action. And then we bought these mono fins, which you can purchase online and put your feet in.” Safety was key, though. “He had to swim really deep and for a really far distance, and he’d never done anything like that before,” Taylor explains. “So it had to be really safe and doable.”

Once that was figured out, Taylor says Egan “cast something like 3,000 hand-sculpted silicon scales. There’s something like five kilograms of glitter in the whole thing. And then we hand-dyed pleated chiffon for all the fins, so that when he was swimming through the water, it would have this magic feel.”

While the scene may play as emotional and romantic, the story behind getting Stede’s mermaid look from Australia to New Zealand was actually quite comical. “[Egan] sliced two suitcases in half, filled [them with the mermaid tail], and then when it went through customs, the customs guy said to her, ‘Are you bringing fish into this country?’ And she’s like, ‘Yes, yes I am.'”

In total, there were four tails, including “a practice tail, a stunt tail, because Rhys had to do quite a few lessons before we got the real one on. And the real one was super precious, and chlorine’s very strong, it eats fabrics away, so we wanted to save the hero one for the hero shot,” Taylor reveals. When it came time to film, “We put him in [the tail], and it was just amazing.” In order to get Darby into the pool, Taylor says a ramp had to be built and the actor was placed in a wheelchair while costumed “and pushed in.” As unglamorous as it sounds, she adds, “it was like Rhys’s dream come true.”

How Kate Bush Entered the Music Mix

It’s safe to say Kate Bush has been having a moment on TV since last year’s “Running Up That Hill” needle drop on Stranger Things, but music supervisor Maggie Phillips says, “This Woman’s Work” was selected before Netflix‘s hit made headlines with their use of the aforementioned song. “When we were placing [the song in the season lineup],” Phillips says, “it was maybe weeks after Stranger Things, and I was worried that we would look like copycats.”

Phillips maintains that the song was in the mix before, but it ultimately “doesn’t matter because really what matters is that Kate Bush is a queen and more and more people need to know her music.”

She says, “From what I heard from David [Jenkins], it was a song that Taika was attached to.” At first, Phillips was reluctant to go with the song due to its prior uses, but “David told me not to worry about [that], that people have short-term memory when it comes to music.”

While she debated with the team over cutting it, “[David] has the visuals in his mind. I don’t. I’m just hearing it with a script and I had no clue how it was going to work until I saw the first cut, and it was beautiful and they picked a part of the song that worked really well with the visuals, so they sort of made it their own,” Phillips explains. “They added a different context to the song that I wouldn’t have been able to imagine myself. So they proved me wrong for sure.”

It’s hard to imagine the scene without Bush’s song. “It changes the way you listen to the song,” Phillips notes. “I got chills watching it and I know that song so well and haven’t gotten chills like that in a long time.” With all of the buildup, “You’re waiting for them to have their romantic moment. You’re waiting for three episodes for that to happen. And so it’s so cathartic when that song comes on, and you see them come together in this fantasy world under the sea. It’s just perfect.” This led her to email Jenkins. “I was like, ‘You were right. I was wrong. But this was beautiful, and thank you so much.'”

Blackbeard’s Wet Wig Woes

Anyone watching the scene unfold would have to notice Blackbeard’s silver tresses weaving through the water, a feat much more difficult behind the scenes than the seemingly simple sequence onscreen. “We filmed that quite late in the season, and so we were really planning and thinking about that all the way through [filming]. I was a bit nervous,” hair and makeup designer Nancy Hennah admits. “I knew that he was going to have to be under the water with his wig on for quite a long time.”

Even with high-quality wig glue, Hennah says, “You can do everything you can to make that wig stay on, but there’s a limited amount of time that the glue will last. So we had to use different products than we would normally use to get the wig down.” Because the product Hennah normally uses to keep hair back in a wig is water soluble, “it melts, and the hair starts coming out from the lace, and it can ruin the whole look of the wig.” She had to come up with a creative fix.

“I glued his own hair back, and then we glued the lace on top of that, and wildly, it lasted right until the very last shot when they were dragging him through the water by the ankles,” Hennah reveals. “The wig just came off completely after they’d finished shooting. And so he came up out of the water, and the wig was off to the side, [and he goes], ‘I think my wig came off.'” She calls the success of the wig “incredible” and “just a fluke really.”

When it came to capturing Darby’s underwater look, it was all about blending the mermaid tail with his skin. “With Stede, Gypsy had a beautiful mermaid tail made, and we did a whole lot of practice with different types of silicon and things that we had to blend that piece between his skin and the tail. We made these pieces of silicon with glitter and things in them that we individually stuck over the top of the mermaid tail,” Hennah details.

Again, there were concerns about getting “things to stick underwater,” but watching the scene come together from behind the camera eased those. “[When] we were standing there on the set that day and watching the monitor, it just was so beautiful that we were all blown away by it, and that tank that they were filming in was a couple of stories deep, and to be out there in that water, it was challenging, and they both did so well. It just went off without a hitch. It was one of those great days where it just worked for everybody.”

Don’t miss what else is in store for the season. Stay tuned for additional interviews and content as the second season of Our Flag Means Death unfolds.

Our Flag Means Death, New Episodes, Thursdays, Max

Source: TV Insider

#rhys darby #taika waititi #ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd s2 spoilers #costume designer #costume details

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eff4freddie · 3 months ago

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After She Left | Twelve

Words: 5.5k Explicit - 18+

You start to forge something new, while still sometimes struggling to move on from Joel. Shauna continues to try and ingratiate herself into Joel and Ellie's life, this time hatching a plan that might just muscle you out of the way. None of that matters, though, when Ellie disappears from the streets of Jackson.

Chapter warnings: Some smut to break up the angst! Oral (f receiving), praise kink, dirty talk, fingering Minors DNI. Then right back to the angst, sorry folks, Shauna being a dick, depictions of panic attacks and anxiety

Eleven| Series Masterlist | Thirteen

If he could just reach into his eye socket and push hard at the point above his temple, he might be able to ease the blooming ache. Joel sighed, rubbing instead at his jaw, feeling the strain of the muscle travel up his face.

Shauna sat at his kitchen table, in his kitchen, with her elbows up on the wood.

‘I just think it would be good for us to get to know each other better,’ she said, and Joel sighed.

‘She’s doin’ well with Teach, Shauna. I ain’t gonna disrupt that.’

Joel watched as Shauna’s eye’s narrowed, just slightly, just enough to make her features appear harsh and hollowed out in the early morning light.

‘You don’t think I’m as smart as that schoolteacher?’ she asked, and he would have happily reached a spoon up to pop the eye right out of the socket if it would relieve some of the pressure accumulating in it.

‘I think you’re smart just fine, but it’s not about that…it’s about what Ellie wants. What’s right for Ellie.’

‘What about what’s right for me, Joel?’ she asked, without hesitation, without even stopping to pretend like she cared about the teenager currently sequestered to the garage. ‘Do you think I like feeling like I’m…not welcome in my own home?’

‘You’re perfectly welcome, Shauna. I gave you my bedroom…’

‘And Ellie ran out to the studio the second she could, and you won’t share a room with me…’

‘You know what that’s about,’ he said, dismissing her as he shuffled, uncomfortable, on his seat. Had these chairs always been so hard on his back? He suddenly couldn’t remember.

Shauna took a long, slow exhale. Joel swore he could hear the whistle of it sliding out of her nostrils. ‘I don’t ask for much, Joel,’ she said, lowly. ‘This would mean so much for me and Ellie. I want to feel like…I want her to feel like…we’re a family.’

Joel considered this for a moment. He thought of you, weary to the bone on your front porch the night of the dinner party, trying as hard as you could to be his friend. Maybe he had asked too much of you, already. Maybe he had asked more than enough.

‘Why can’t it be…something else?’ he asked, taking too long to think of something that Shauna could reasonably teach Ellie, and coming up empty handed. He stretched his leg out, rolling his hips to try and get some circulation back into the cramping muscle. ‘Maybe she could hang out at Town Council, see how things work around here in a more…diplomatic sense.’

Shauna rolled her eyes. ‘Like I get invited to the inner sanctum…’ she said, and Joel coughed.

‘Well, you ain’t technically on Council…’ he prompted.

‘Yet,’ she said.

Joel let this pass. He had let so much pass, he realised. Why would he stop now.

‘Joel it’s not like I can teach her to shoot, or to cook, let’s be honest.’ At this Joel smiled a little, and watched as Shauna’s shoulders dropped, mirroring his expression. ‘I feel useless most of the time around here, and especially with her. But you heard what Teach said the other night, she likes reading. I can read. I can talk to her about books and things.’

Joel considered this. He’d never been a big reader himself, more interested in getting his hands on things, taking things apart, building them back up again. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad for Ellie to have an extra brain to pick around the place.

‘We could fit it into her schedule,’ Shauna said. ‘It wouldn’t have to be that much more than what she’s doing already.’

‘How you figure?’ Joel asked.

‘Well, if she swaps out some of her time with Teach for time with me,’ Shauna said, smiling brightly.

A door, just over Joel’s shoulder, slammed. He turned, startled by the sudden noise. He checked his six but couldn’t see any obvious movement. Turning back to Shauna he saw her expression had hardened before she caught his eye again and smiled.

‘Must have been the wind,’ she said, getting up to close the kitchen window.

You stretched, your back arching up off the mattress like a cat in the sun. Letting out a slow groan, you felt the dull ache between your thighs.

‘Fuck…’ Jonah said, his head somewhere under the blanket, fingers probing at your core. You felt him pull your leg up, planting your foot underneath you so he could manoeuvre your hips further towards him. Still half asleep, you let him move you where he wanted.

‘Gonna lick you up til you cream,’ he said. ‘Cock’s so big and hard for you.’ You resisted the urge to cringe a little, the words sounding wrong coming from him somehow. Maybe they were the wrong ones. Maybe they didn’t suit him.

Reaching down, you pushed his face further into your cunt, effectively muting him with your folds. You felt his tongue lick a fat stripe up your seam, his fingers swift as he jammed them inside. You winced a little, shifting on the mattress to help him find the best angle.

It was…fine. You reached up to tweak your nipples, hoping to heighten the pleasure gathering at your core. Closing your eyes tight you tried to push the thoughts from your mind, homing in instead on the feel of Jonah’s tongue. If you bucked your hips a little you could shove him into a better position, but he seemed to take this as enthusiasm. He started to speed up, throwing off your rhythm.

‘Slow down,’ you instructed, resting one hand on his head and guiding him by the neck. He was a quick learner, at least. You could feel your brows furrow in concentration.

‘So wet, baby,’ Joel said from beside you. Your eyes flew open to discover the other side of the bed empty. You shook your head, trying to get him loose.

‘That’s good,’ you informed Jonah, pinching harder on your nipple. You heard a muffled moan from between your legs.

‘Look at you all spread out f’me,’ Joel huffed into your ear, the heat of his body scorching you as he lay beside you.

‘Don’t…’ you whimpered, trying to will him out of your mind, and snapped back to reality when you felt Jonah falter. ‘Don’t stop,’ you rushed, pushing your hips into his face.

Behind you now, bracketed by his legs and resting your head on his chest, Joel reached down your front and rubbed tight little circles at your breast. You could feel the warmth of his broad chest at your back, and you turned to tuck your nose into his neck. You could feel his pulse on your skin, hammering with the same tempo as his cock pulsing behind your thighs.

‘So beautiful, babygirl,’ he muttered, his voice gravelly from his want for you, and you shuddered, looking down your body to find Joel also between your legs, even while you lay warm and safe in his arms. He gazed up at you, tongue rolling in your cunt, as he whispered filth in your ear.

‘Love when ya come f’me,’ he said, ‘love makin’ ya feel so good ya can’t help yourself.’

You whimpered, grinding hard on Jonah’s face, the ache in your core now threatening to burn you up completely.

‘So good f’me, baby’ Joel praised and you keened, the Joel between your legs crooking his fingers to hit the spongey spot deep inside, the spot you now considered designated just for him.

‘M’gonna…’ you gasped, the sparks of electricity running hard and unwavering in your cunt.

‘That’s it, baby, let it happen…’ Joel encouraged, pausing only to nibble at your earlobe. ‘Let me have it, baby. Let me make you come.’

You felt your hips rock as you exploded, every nerve ending on fire as your orgasm rolled over you, your breath shuddering and catching in your chest.

��Oh, fuck, Jo-nah,’ you corrected, just in time, as your vision went white behind your eyes, your body spasming in pleasure as you heard Joel chuckle behind you, gruff and self-satisfied.

‘Holy shit,’ you heard Jonah say, pulling back the covers to appraise you where you lay, spent and exhausted, spread out beneath him. You sighed, every muscle in your body loose and your thoughts blissfully empty for a few moments. It was only when you caught your breath that the guilt started to seep in.

You pushed your hair behind your ears, up to your elbows in cold water and homemade soap. You longed for the days of dish soap, the little bubbles popping over your skin. Instead, you scrubbed, scarring the surface of the pan just a little trying to free it of the bacon grease.

‘I could help with that, y’know,’ Jonah said from the table. You glanced over your shoulder at him.

‘It’s OK, I find it weirdly satisfying,’ you said, turning back to your task so you wouldn’t have to look him in the eye. You weren’t sure where Joel had come from – both of them – but you weren’t pleased they had intruded in your private moment with Jonah. If you were going to be friends with Joel that should never happen again, you told yourself, as well as whatever demon on your shoulder had launched itself into being that morning.

Part of you wanted to tell Jonah, just so that he knew what he was dealing with. You wondered if he’d stay, if he’d be weirded out and run for it. You wondered if you wanted him to fight for you, to try and take Joel on and win your hand like a princess, like a prize. Of course you didn’t, because that would be silly. Also, there would be nothing to fight.

‘Sweetheart?’ Jonah said, and you snapped back to attention, realising you’d nearly scrubbed a hole in the bottom of the pan.

‘Mmm?’ you said, turning around but suddenly finding yourself unable to meet his eyes. He stood from the table, coming closer to you, pulling you to him by the loop of your jeans.

‘I said, you keep feeding me like this you’re gonna make me too fat for patrols,’ he said, and you grinned, then, the ease at which he doled out compliments making something fizz and pop happily in your chest.

‘Maybe that’s the plan, have you all to myself,’ you said, matching his grin, as he leant over to kiss you, your sudsy hands resting on his shirt and leaving damp spots in their wake.

‘I got no complaints…’ he said, nipping at your bottom lip.

You swallowed down the morning, the weirdness of it catching a little at your throat, as you gazed up at him. He was a good guy. The rest you could work out.

‘I was thinking maybe after my shift-’ he started, but was interrupted by the sound of running footsteps and then, moments later, pounding at your door.

‘Teach!’ you heard Joel yell, and you were reacting to the blind panic in his voice before you’d even fully registered it, abandoning Jonah at the sink to run to your door. Wrenching it open you found him, wide-eyed and breathless, looking first at your face and then scanning over your shoulder past the door. ‘Is she with you?’ he gasped out, and you stared at him blankly for a second, feeling a weight drop heavy and concrete into your gut.

‘Who, Joel?’

‘Ellie, is she with you? Is she here?’ You could see the desperation in his eyes, the way they were starting to brim with tears. Behind him you saw Shauna trotting up the street to catch up.

‘No, I haven’t seen her in a few days, it’s the weekend…’

‘Fuck!’ he yelled, taking a step back to twist his hands up into his hair and tug. He turned to Shauna, now approaching your porch. ‘She’s not here!’ he nearly screeched, waves of distress rolling off him.

‘Hey, hey…’ you said, stepping out towards him and reaching up to rest a hand on his bicep, pulling you back around to face you. ‘Take a breath, Joel, then you can tell me what’s happened.’

You felt him shudder, sucking in air as you nodded at him, pantomiming deep breaths in the hope that he would follow you. His eyes stayed wild but he watched you, eventually matching his breaths to yours, until he had regained some sense of control.

‘She’s gone,’ he finally managed to say, his voice ragged. ‘We can’t find her.’

‘OK, where have you looked?’ you asked. Shauna climbed up the steps to your porch, coming forward to wrap her arm around Joel’s. You took a step back, releasing him to her.

‘We came right here,’ she said, tight-lipped.

‘Well, we can split up, try the mess hall, try the school. Maybe see if she’s with Dina?’

‘Dina?’ Shauna parroted, and you nodded.

‘They’re good friends,’ you supplied.

Joel was gathering himself, pulling his shoulders back and letting Shauna’s arm slip from him.

‘OK, OK…’ he was saying, and you could see that he his tremors were lessening.

‘We should find Tommy, get him to help look,’ you said. ‘She won’t have gone far, right?’

Joel raised his eyes to yours, the desperation and the sheer terror in them taking your breath away. You steeled yourself, painting a confident look on your face. ‘She won’t have gone far, Joel,’ you repeated. He nodded, borrowing some of your strength and tucking it under his ribcage.

‘Shauna, get Tommy,’ he instructed, not glancing over to look at her.

‘Joel, I can stay with you…’ she started but he grunted, shaking his head. You realised he had stepped closer to you.

‘Get Tommy, get Gollum and…’

‘I can help,’ Jonah said, from the doorway behind you. You saw Joel’s eyes fall on him, his mouth pulling tight in a grim line at the sight of him. You weren’t sure if Jonah had put pants on. You were determined not to look.

‘Run down and check with Billy, if she left, he would have seen her…’ you started.

‘You think he’d let her out there alone?’ Joel said, suddenly a mix of fury and panic. You put a steadying hand on his forearm.

‘No, not unless she spun him an amazing lie.’

This didn’t seem to carry the comfort you had hoped it would.

You split up, heading straight over to the school, calling her name as you went, before doubling back and checking Dina’s place. Dina hadn’t seen Ellie since the day before, and you felt the unease in your belly start to grow. You rounded back to the main street, hoping to meet up with Tommy or Joel at the mess hall. As you turned the corner, though, you saw commotion at the main gate and you took off running.

‘You can’t be fuckin’ serious!’ Tommy was yelling, his and Joel’s backs to you shielding the person he was yelling at. You looked to the top of the wall and saw it unoccupied. Your heart started to sink.

‘I was just gone a few minutes, maybe twenty, tops!’ you heard Billy defend, and by the time you had arrived on the scene you could see Joel was tremoring again, this time from out and out fury.

‘Why didn’t you call in a cover?’ he spat out, pacing up and down, clenching and flexing his fingers.

‘Ain’t no one on the roster,’ Billy said, and you felt something give, something structural in your bones.

‘Oh, I’m not on the roster,’ you said, quietly, and flinched as Joel turned, startled, not having realised you were there. You could feel tears welling up in your eyes as you avoided his gaze, staring hard at your boots. You braced for his admonishment.

‘Joel…’ Tommy said, but suddenly Joel’s broad palm was on your shoulder and you looked up, gasping.

‘This ain’t on you,’ Joel said, staring hard into your eyes. ‘Don’t think for one moment…fuck, Teach, I know you love her near as much as I do.’

You felt the tears start to fall, your throat closing over, as all you could do was nod.

‘M’sorry anyway,’ you muttered, and he shook his head at you.

‘Joel, we don’t have time,’ Tommy reminded him, and he snapped his head back towards his little brother.

‘Where’s Gollum? Where’s the patrols?’

‘They’re already out, but we radioed them, they’ll keep a look out.’

‘Which way where they headed? We should cover more ground,’ Tommy said. You kept glancing at Shauna, standing off to the side of the group, her eyes fixed on Joel.

‘Why would she leave?’ Billy asked, and you saw Shauna go pale before she appeared to rally.

‘Teenagers,’ she supplied, with a little smirk. You felt yourself glare at her, at her glibness, at the casual way she just threw out such a bullshit explanation, smiling as though Ellie wasn’t now in mortal danger. You almost felt guilty for the way you stared at her until you noticed Joel and Tommy’s expressions mirrored your own.

‘We gotta get moving, Joel,’ Tommy said, and you remembered, then, a little flare of a synapse still functioning in the panic.

‘The water caves!’ you yelled, turning to look for Jonah. ‘She asked us about the water caves. Fuck, where is he?’ You scanned the street and didn’t see him, turning to see if he was at the stables, turning back to the wall in an almost complete 360. You were dimly aware you must have looked like a somewhat deranged ballerina.

‘The what?’ Tommy asked.

‘She said, she said that Dina had said there’s a waterfall and that behind the waterfall there’s caves. She asked Jonah about it, but he hadn’t seen them. God, what if she’s gone to look for them?’

‘She doesn’t fuckin’ swim,’ Joel muttered, pacing again. ‘Jesus, Tommy, she could drown out there and we’d never fuckin’ find her.’

‘She said she thought they were upriver, about an hour or two’s ride. But Jonah said that they’d never seen them on patrols.’

Billy shook his head. ‘Never heard anything like it, but it’s possible…I mean, the river flows all the way down from the mountain.’

‘She’s not going to go that far,’ Shauna dismissed, waving her hand at you as if waving away the very idea. ‘There’s a town a couple of hours walk, I bet she’s gone there.’

‘Why would she go to a town?’ you asked, more than a little offended at the way you had been so summarily dismissed.

‘Maybe to find some friends,’ Shauna said, adding after a moment, ‘her own age.’

Your ears started ringing and you wondered if this woman could have such a singular effect on a person’s blood pressure. You glanced back at Joel, his head swivelling between Shauna, and Tommy, and you.

‘We should split up,’ Tommy said, and Joel blanched, turning to you.

‘If she’s in a town, there could be raiders,’ he said, quiet, eyebrows saddled as he looked to you for some kind of confirmation.

‘I don’t think she’s gone there, but I guess it’s possible,’ you said. ‘If she’s headed to the water caves, then she’ll just be following the river upstream.’

‘Not much up that way, no camps within the perimeter,’ Billy supplied.

‘I’ll take Shauna,’ you said, determined even as Joel started to shake his head. ‘That’s the easier run. You and Tommy, you need to head to the town, if there’s raiders you’ll need two good shots.’

Shauna scoffed, which the group collectively decided to ignore.

‘You sure about this, Teach?’ he asked. You weren’t. Not even a little bit. But you had no other choice; Ellie was out there, and she might have been hurt or scared or just plain angry, and you weren’t going to sit around and wait for someone else to bring her home.

Jonah wasn’t at the stables, and you still weren’t sure where he’d got to, but that didn’t stop you saddling up at lightning speed. Shauna trailed behind you, struggling to get the order right on the saddle, and you stopped what you were doing to secure her tack.

‘I just don’t see why a teenager would want to go to some wet, cold caves,’ she said to you, and you shrugged your shoulders.

‘You think she went to the mall?’

Shauna regarded you for a long moment, and you supposed it might have been intimidating had she not been completely dependent on you and your riding skills in that moment. Over your shoulder you heard Joel and Tommy saddle up and ride out.

‘You never wanted to head to the big smoke when you were her age?’ she asked, and you shrugged.

‘Sure, but that was before the world ended.’

‘Mmm’, she said.

‘Saddled up,’ you confirmed for her, swinging your leg into your stirrups and settling on top of your own horse. You could have waited to give Shauna a boost but all of a sudden you just weren’t feeling like it.

As she struggled to pull herself up, you heard a voice calling at the stable door.

‘Wait!’ he called, as Jonah appeared in front of you. He carried two rifles. ‘I got you these from the armoury, had a shit of a time signing them out but I told ‘em it was an emergency.’ He was sweating, his eyes bright, as he smiled up at you.

‘Thank you,’ you smiled down at him, reaching to pull both from his grasp.

‘Wait, don’t I get one?’ Shauna asked, and Jonah rolled his eyes at her.

‘You’re more likely to shoot your own ass off,’ he said, as you slung one over your back and let Jonah help you attach the second to your saddle for you. You snickered.

‘Go get your girl,’ he said to you, quiet enough that Shauna couldn’t hear. ‘Then come back safe.’ You nodded, gripping the reigns tight enough to turn your knuckles white.

At the gate Billy was back at his post, and you cantered to a stop at the threshold.

‘Joel and Tommy already left, a couple of minutes ahead,’ he reported.

‘They didn’t wait for us?’ Shauna asked.

‘Reckon they thought catching up with Ellie was more important,’ you said, pointedly.

‘You know where you’re headed?’ Billy asked you, and you nodded. ‘Follow the river North.’

‘It starts to get dark, you come turn round,’ he reminded you and you nodded at him.

‘I know, Billy,’ you said.

‘You got good eyes, kiddo, can’t lose them for your next shift.’

You realised then he was worried for you, that all the hours you’d spent staring silently into the distance together had endeared him to you in a way you hadn’t noticed or expected, and that if he’d told you to slide off your horse and let him give you a bearhug right there in the gate you would have done it.

‘I’ll see you soon,’ you said, trying to sound more confident than you felt.

‘I’ll see you first,’ Billy said, pulling the gate open just enough for you and Shauna to slip outside.

You would have been really happy to ride in silence. The river, once you found it, was calming enough that you felt you could finally take in a full breath. You scanned the ground looking for tracks and finding nothing. Beside you Shauna trotted along, struggling to meet the rhythm of her horse’s steps.

‘So how long were you in the QZ?’ she asked. You scanned the branches beside you, looking for any breaks at roughly teenager-height.

‘Best part of a decade,’ you said.

‘You must have done plenty of patrols, then,’ she said.

‘I mostly worked the wall. It’s what I did when I moved to Jackson.’

‘So, you’ve known Maria a while then?’

‘Yes, I guess I have.’

You hoped that was the end of the questioning, trying as you were to concentrate.

‘What do you think makes her tick?’ Shauna asked, and you had to try very hard not to roll your eyes.

‘I think she cares a lot about family, and the citizens of Jackson,’ you said, honestly but also with perhaps a slight edge. Shauna seemed not to notice.

‘She does so much for the town,’ Shauna continued, thoughtfully. ‘She could probably use a 2nd in Command, no?’

‘I feel like this is something you should ask her about,’ you muttered. A bend in the river up ahead caught your eye. ‘We need to get moving, we’re barely going above walking pace,’ you said.

‘I’m not that great a rider,’ Shauna said, stating the absolute obvious.

‘Never a better time to learn,’ you said, surging forward.

After the bend the river carried on over a rocky outcrop, and you slowed your horse down again to pick your way through the boulders.

‘Do you know what she was wearing this morning?’ you asked, and Shauna shrugged her shoulders.

‘Didn’t see her, so I don’t know,’ she said. ‘She keeps herself stashed away out back all day. Anti-social.’

You bit your tongue. Shauna was suddenly making you feel the same.

You scanned the riverbanks for anything unusual: footprints, a discarded backpack, clothing. If you were honest with yourself you weren’t really sure what you were looking for. You’d never had to track someone before, your role being more to stand in one spot and scan the horizon.

‘You two seem to get on like a house on fire,’ Shauna said, after a few moments of silence.

‘Ellie and I have grown close since I started tutoring her,’ you agreed, absentminded.

‘It’s like you two see eye to eye, or something. Like you’re…the same.’

You weren’t sure what she was getting at, only that she was getting at something, and you scanned the sentence for the insult but found it so buried it was impossible to decipher. You knew, though, that it was there.

‘I suppose we’ve been through similar things. We all have.’

You wondered, in the case of Shauna, whether this was true. The high-level officers in FEDRA, the ones fancy enough not to have to deal with actual people, or fight on the ground, tended to live comfortable lives. At least, until the uprising.

‘Still, it seems almost like…’

‘I think it would be good to concentrate,’ you said, quickly. The sun was high in the sky but as the colder weather set in there were less hours of it in a day. If the water caves really were more than three hours out, you had to make the best of the light.

You estimated you got a good 45 minutes of quiet before Shauna spoke again. The rocky outcrop had turned into outright rugged terrain, and you were struggling to follow the river as the bed grew steeper, the drops on either side more sheer. You were starting to worry about darkness, and if you’d have enough light to make your way back. You hadn’t anticipated the thickness of the brush. It would be easy to get turned around out here, to stumble on a slippery rock and snap your neck.

‘Oof, this is hard on the tush,’ Shauna complained, rubbing at her lower back. ‘I’ll have to get Joel to give me a massage when we get back.’

Ignoring that last comment completely, you found yourself agreeing with Shauna. The terrain was getting too hard to traverse on horseback, and you’d come far enough along that it would be almost just as hard on foot. The likelihood of Ellie getting this far without being seen, or without dropping something that would give you a clue as to her direction, was slim. You were facing the decision you’d been trying not to make for the last ten minutes.

‘I think we might have to go back,’ you said, and Shauna sighed.

‘I knew those cave things weren’t real,’ she said, and you turned on her, irritation finally overtaking you.

‘They could be, but we can’t fucking get there when you couldn’t ride in a carriage let alone on your own.’

Shauna stared at you. ‘Have you even been looking for tracks? Have you been watching the waterline?’ you asked, your voice rising.

‘Well, I could see you were doing that,’ she said, and you scoffed.

‘Why the fuck are you even here?’ you asked, the shock of Ellie’s disappearance suddenly blooming into anger in your bones. ‘Did you think you’d get to have a nice lil ride with Joel through the countryside? Planning to strap yourself to his back and rub your tits all over his shoulder blades so that maybe he’ll finally fuck you?’

You sucked in a breath, the air cold this far up close to the mountain. Shauna smirked, actually smirked, as you wavered in front of her.

‘Knew you weren’t sweet as pie,’ she said, like pushing you to breaking point had been her gameplan, like your outburst was her victory.

‘Fuck you, Shauna,’ you said, exhaustion overtaking you. ‘Turn back, we’ll double back the way we came.’

She continued to smirk, even as she led her horse to stumble along the riverbank. You felt the frustration give way to the little kernel of terror that you always tucked up tight in your chest cavity, fuelled by the irrefutable knowledge that after the end of the world everything that could possibly go wrong almost always would.

Another hour’s ride and you were back to the slightly more forgiving trail that made up the perimeter of Jackson. You felt something heavy and unmovable in your gut, something that whispered to you that you had wasted time on a hunch that had turned out to be nothing, that had separated you from Joel and from safety, all on the basis of a two-minute conversation in your kitchen weeks ago. You pushed it away as best you could, instead choosing to focus on the blind panic that if she hadn’t followed the river you had no idea which way she’d gone.

You could feel that you were having trouble breathing all the way in, as if you worried that if you took in too much air, expanded your chest too far out, the horrors of Ellie’s disappearance would fill the space left open.

‘That’s the turn off to the town,’ Shauna said, motioning with her head to a fork in the road ahead of you.

‘I thought that was back West,’ you said, and she shook her head at you.

‘There are two paths, this one’s further out but it comes around the back way. It’s not so out in the open.’

You considered this for a moment, the realisation breaking like the dawn on a clear morning.

‘You travelled it to get to Jackson, didn’t you?’ you asked, and Shauna suddenly went uncharacteristically quiet.

‘You came from the town,’ you said, simply, the pieces falling into place around you. ‘You know exactly who’s in the town, exactly what’s there, and you think Ellie went there because you know what might draw her to it.’

Shauna again said nothing. You drew your horse to a stop at the turnoff.

‘What did you tell her?’ you asked. You knew Shauna wouldn’t carry on back to Jackson without you. With your horse unmoving you were essentially trapping her in the conversation.

‘She asked me once, what it was like before I came to Jackson,’ Shauna said, her defences up nearly as high as her shoulders.

‘What did you tell her?’ you asked, again.

‘I wanted to sound impressive,’ Shauna said, and this time you could see that she was actually being honest, that she was admitting to something real. ‘I thought…I knew that she and Joel had travelled across the country to get to Jackson, that she had seen so much…’

‘What did you tell her, Shauna?’ you asked, your patience running thin.

‘I told her there was another town, just an hour or two ride from Jackson. That it was bigger than Jackson, that they….that they….’

‘That they what, Shauna?’ you asked.

‘That they train kids as young as fourteen in weapons and combat, and let them go on patrol.’

You swore, loud and all the way to the tops of the trees.

‘What’s really there, Shauna?’ you asked, when you could hear yourself think over the blood rushing in your ears.

‘It’s mostly abandoned,’ she said. ‘Sometimes raiders come through.’ She still looked like she was avoiding something, still not able to look you in the eye.

‘Tell me the bit you don’t want to tell me,’ you said. She turned her face to the sky, as if there would be any relief in it.

‘Steven and Wren and I…we stayed there a few weeks. A couple of other groups were camping out, too.’

You waited for the other shoe to drop, for the world to shift on its axis. Around you the wind turned cold, the light starting to wane in the late afternoon.

‘We left when one of them…one of the other campers. They went out to check for supplies and came back late…’ she shuddered, swallowing hard. ‘By the morning, their whole camp…’

She couldn’t go on, couldn’t say the word, but you didn’t need her to. You turned your eyes to the road leading down to the town, to Ellie, and to Joel.

‘Infected,’ you said, saying what Shauna would never have the strength to.

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#joel miller #joel miller x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller x you #pedro pascal #joel miller fanfic #joel miller smut #pedro pascal characters fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #pedro pascal fic

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mountainsandmayhem · 10 months ago

Text

Wings. Fire. Magic. Part Four

18+, Minors Do Not Interact

DragonTrainer!Joel x Female!Reader

Summary: Joel has to follow through on his deal with The King, the two of you share tender moments, and maybe you don't want to go home after all. Dragon divider by @saradika-graphics CW: 18+, p in v sex (wrap it up folks), mean Joel but also tender Joel. Praise (duh, it's Joel), dirty talk, female and male orgasms WC: 6K

Masterlist || Part One || Part Two || Part Three

Fuck. I’m dead. So very dead.

The terrifying milky coloured dragon is going to incinerate you. You can see building in his throat as he roars at you. The last one was so loud that you clamped your hands over your ears and started to back away. Your family flashes before your eyes. Your mom is about to celebrate her one thousandth name day, she’d ask for those little mushroom and cheese pastry puffs she loves so much, your dad would make some joke about her being older than him, even though just a fortnight later he’d be celebrating his same name day.

“Eaaasssyyy,” you say shakily to the dragon, your hands are trembling as you move them from your ears, holding them up to try to calm him.

Suddenly you’re being pushed to the side, hitting the ground hard, rolling over yourself a few times. The wind is knocked out of you and you roll onto your back to try to get oxygen, gasping against the invisible hands restricting your lungs. You can see Joel standing in front of the dragon in just his tight black boxers. The sunrise casts flecks of gold around his tight and tanned skin, more tattoos swirl around his back, as well as 3 thick scars from his left shoulder to the middle of his back. They’re not new, but still raised and pinkish in colour.

“Whoa whoa whoa,” he says loudly, holding his arms up, palms facing out to the dragon. “Uvri, easy boy.”

The dragon pauses, sniffing slightly at Joel before lowering himself and folding his wings back into his body.

“There you go.” he praises the dragon, still with a tinge of fear on the edge of his voice, “That’s it. Easy.”

The dragon touches his nose to one of Joel’s palms and then peaks behind him at you. “She is our friend. It’s ok.”

You slowly stand up and Uvri side eyes you. “Sorry,” you say to both Joel and the dragon.

Uvri turns back to the eggs, his large scaled body nestling around them. He lets out a content hum and shuts his eyes. Joel grabs your shoulders, eyes raking over you with concern. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, Joel.” You look away from him, your cheeks heat at how you touched yourself to thoughts of him last night while you were tucked into the soft sheets of your bed. And now he’s here in just his boxers holding your face and looking at you like you’re the most important thing in the world.

His hands cup your face gently with his large palms, “Sweetheart, not all dragons are Rem. She doesn’t know she’s a dragon if I’m being honest. You have to be careful out here.”

“Ok. I’m sorry.” His eyes trail down each of your arms, hands not moving from your cheeks and even though you’re completely clothed, it all feels a little too intimate. When he doesn’t see any injuries he seems to start breathing again, his muscular chest expanding as air fills his lungs.

“We need to talk about The King, I have to go back before those eggs hatch.” His hands slide to your shoulders as he continues, “I need you to trust me, and after we see The King I will take you to see your family. We’ll make sure they’re taken care of.”

Your eyes fall to Joel’s strong bare chest, landing on the small hand tattoo over his heart. His hands fall from your shoulders and he smiles awkwardly at you. He’s suddenly aware that he’s practically naked. The animals of the forest around you start to wave up. Birds chirping, chipmunks chattering, the air seems to come alive. The morning sun is finally high enough to peek through the trees and warm your face.

“You should probably get dressed before we talk,” you laugh. You and Joel walk side by side back towards the log cabin and you fight the urge to ask about the small hand tattoo over his heart. “How many dragons do you have?”

“Umm,” he rubs the back of his neck nervously, bicep flexing, “I have five. They live around the woods here.”

“And they just stay?” you ask. Considering you were stealing an egg you know very little, almost nothing actually, about dragons.

“Dragons are loyal. They might leave for food, but they come back each night.”

Joel opens the back door and you head into the kitchen, propping yourself up on one of the stools. The log cabin is somehow more gorgeous in the morning sunlight. Joel’s half naked body putters around the kitchen, he pops open an airtight canister and the smell of coffee beans fills the room. When he turns back to you, you avert your eyes, looking down at the granite island.

“Is being in your underwear an important part of this plan? Or?” You feel your cheeks heating.

“Shit, sorry. My adrenaline is up here,” he raises an arm above his head and you glance over to see all the muscles in his abdomen flexing as he reaches. “Just, stay there. Please.”

Joel disappears down the hallway and you finally understand what humans mean when they say ‘hate to see you go but love to watch you leave’, the tight boxers hug the strong globes of his ass, the soft fabric straining against his muscular thighs. But what really draws your eye are the two dimples in his lower back, just above the waist band. Your mouth waters at the sight of him.

When he returns the coffee is brewed and, since you already scared Joel half to death, you listen and stay on your stool. He pours you a cup of coffee and slides it across the counter to you, along with cream and sugar for you to add. You give him a tight lipped smile.

“Rem and Uvri have five eggs that are going to hatch soon.” He says as he stirs a little bit of cream in his coffee, “I am going to leave tomorrow to take three of those eggs.”

“Is Remmer going to be ok?” You can’t imagine she’ll be happy to have three of her babies taken from her, she’s so sweet and gentle. “You can’t give away your dragons.”

“No, she’s probably going to be very upset with me,” he places his coffee down and opens the fridge, pulling out eggs and bacon. “But remember how I told you dragons are extremely loyal?”

“Yes,” you’re starting to feel that guilt again, being taken care of while your family is struggling and probably worried sick about you.

“You stole that egg, but once it hatched, the dragon would find its way back here.” you hear the tick-tick-whoosh of the stove before he grabs two pans and puts them over the flame. “They’ll always find their way back to their family.”

“Ok,” you say curiously. “So, what about me?”

“You’re staying here.” he says firmly, his back to you as he puts the bacon in the pan, the sound and smell of the fat sizzling causes your stomach to growl.

“No, Joel,” you argue, “ You have to make The King think you hate me more than he does”

He turns to face you, crossing his arms across his chest. “No.”

“Joel, you have to.” You practically beg him, he turns around and cracks eggs in the second pan, avoiding your eyes as best he can. He already knows he has to take you, but he is a stubborn man, and if you start begging or look at him with those big sad eyes he’ll break. “If he knew that I slept in a big plush comfy bed or soaked in a bubble bath. I’m supposed to be your slave.”

Joel shakes his head. “I’m taking him the eggs. You’re staying here. I’m not bringing you back there. I cannot bring you back there.”

You wrap your hands around your coffee cup and bring it to your lips. He cannot bring you back there. You already know that there’s no arguing with him, even when he knows you’re right. Actually, especially when he knows you’re right. He’ll come around, he just needs to do it on his own time.

After breakfast Joel tells you he’s going into the village to get you clothes and boots, and after a stern warning to stay out of the woods, he hops on his horse and off he goes. You spend the afternoon close to the house, wandering outside but staying clear of the woods. Around one side of the house is a large garden, vegetables sprout up every which direction and nothing is labeled. On the other side of the house, just below your bedroom window, is a flagstone patio with a large fire pit, wooden chairs and a bench. Everything outside of the house looks like it belongs there, like the earth put it there itself. You sit on the bench and start making a small fire. You catch Rem watching you from the tree line. You smile at her, but she stays near a peculiar tree; stark, white bark and a large canopy of deep purple leaves. It’s the only leafy tree in the area, the whole property is surrounded by large conifers, how that tree even exists is beyond you.

Once the fire has started, you head into the house to get a bowl to start picking ripe vegetables. The sun is starting to set and you may as well make yourself useful and make dinner. After picking carrots, beets, potatoes, green beans and a handful of fresh herbs, you skip back into the house. You spotted chicken in the fridge this morning, so you take it out and rub it with oil, sprinkling the fresh herbs on top. Next, you chop all the vegetables up. Unlike Joel, who can just reach up and grab the cast iron pans hanging above the island, you have to climb up and stand on the counter to grab them. You take everything outside and start cooking.

Dinner is almost ready when Joel's deep voice floats across the back yard, “Hi.”

“Hi.” You smile sheepishly at him over your shoulder.

“Something smells amazing.” The fire pops and crackles, birds chirping in the woods calling to each other.

You turn back to the fire, stirring the veggies. “I figured I could make myself useful”

“Thank you. You don’t need to do that.”

You pat the bench beside you and Joel comes to sit beside you, knees grazing one another. You both look at the purple tree in front of you.

“Can I -“ you start. Joel saying, “how’s your -“ at the same time.

You both laugh quietly and you say, “you go first.”

“How’s your back?” he asks, you glance over at him and he’s looking at you with that same big eyed concern he had this morning when you stumbled into Uvri.

“I think better.” you roll your shoulders backwards slowly, testing the muscles and checking for pain. Joel notices the slight wince in your face, “I have more movement in my arms but it still feels like I got trampled.”

“I put some muscle relaxing oil in your room with your new clothes.” He says it so casually and your heart flutters as you thank him. Someone doing something for you is still so foreign. Are you that deprived of the goodness of humanity that you let one little act turn you all gooey?

Joel’s knee nudges yours, bringing you back to reality. “What were you going to say?”

“I was going to ask about that tree,” your eyes peel away from Joel’s.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he says, hand coming up subconsciously to his heart. The sadness practically etched across his face.

“The tattoo?” You ask.

“It’s - umm - that’s where my daughter is.” He says, avoiding looking at you and the tree, instead he grabs the metal poker and starts to stir the fiery orange coals. You don’t press him, somehow you know that he’ll talk when he’s ready. “So I think you’re right. You have to come with me.”

You nod, you were right not to push. Joel does everything methodically, he doesn’t jump in. You clear the fear out of your throat, fear that feels like shards of glass and say, “Make him think you hate me.”

“Problem is,” he stands, sliding on a large mitt and grabbing one of the cast iron pans off the fire grill, “I don’t hate you. Not in the slightest.”

Dinner was silent between the two of you and you went to your bedroom early, exhausted from the last few days but full of nervous anticipation for what was to come. You drift off easily, falling into a deep and dreamless sleep. A distant roar causes you to stir, rolling over and pulling the blankets up around your neck. You hear yelling in the distance and it slowly brings you to be fully conscious. Now awake you can hear it more clearly - it’s Joel. He’s yelling. You shoot out of your bed and creep into the hallway, his door is closed, “No, leave her.”

You knock gently, his bed creaking under him as he tosses around his sheets. You open the door a crack, peeking in. His eyes are clamped shut, a pained look on his face. His curls are sweaty and slick to his forehead. He’s twitching and mumbling.

“Joel,” you whisper, walking over to him slowly. He thrashes again, violently this time. “Joel,” you repeat, a little louder as your hand reaches out to him. As soon as your palm touches his shoulder he grabs your wrist, jerking you violently and flipping you onto the bed below him. You’re trapped under his large, muscular and naked form. His eyes are glazed over, rage and anger contorting his features.

“Joel!” You practically yell it this time and when he blinks you slowly start to come into focus. He shakes his head, blinking quickly as his breathing starts to calm.

“Fuck,” he huffs, almost leaping off of you, covering himself with his hands before finding some underwear.

“You were having a nightmare,” you whisper, walking over to him. “Are you ok?”

“Did I hurt you?” He’s back, that soft and caring man that you’re starting to fall for. The moonlight paints the room in a light glow.

“No, I’m fine,” you reach out to touch him and he steps away, “Joel, are you ok?”

Joel wanders back to his bed and starts to straighten out the sheets, “I’m fine.”

“Ok,” you say, uncertainty waving through the word, “I’ll just…” you start to leave as he crawls back into his soft sheets.

He calls your name, when you look back at him he’s on his side, back towards you. “Ya?” you whisper.

His voice is sad and cracks a little as he asks, “Please stay.”

You smile to yourself and pad over to him, gently crawling in behind him. You’re not sure what comes over you or makes you feel so bold, but you press the front of your body to his warm back, one arm bending under your pillow, the other draping across his waist, your face nuzzled between his strong shoulder muscles. He’s tense for a second before he relaxes into you. Neither of you speak, and when his breathing gets relaxed and heavy, you place a gentle kiss to his shoulder blade and fall asleep.

It feels like minutes later when Remmer’s cries have you rushing from Joel’s empty bed to look at the large window. You see him heading towards the house with a small wooden chest, Uvri follows along behind him, saddle and reins already affixed to his large and intimidating body.

You go to your own room and slide on your new leathers and boots and head out to the kitchen to meet Joel. He has a ratty looking cloth dress in one hand, chains and a small collar in the other. You both stare at each other. You don’t need words. You knew exactly what being his slave would mean and what playing that part would look like. You’ve seen plenty of Fae in this uniform, following along behind whatever creature owned them. Joel looks at you with a tender sadness, swallowing hard while you nod at him and head out the back door. Rem lands beside Uvri and nuzzles against you, crying out again.

“It’s ok, Rem.” You say quietly, running your hand down her neck, her scales are warm and smooth, you didn’t realize how soothing petting a dragon could be.

Joel helps you up in Uvri and with a click of his tongue the dragon shoots up into the sky and dread fills your body.

The flight is most quiet. You occasionally point to places that you’ve been to, Joel points to an orange and red canopy of trees and tells you his brother lives there. You need the distraction, and assume he does too, so you ask questions about his brother. You learn his name is Tommy and he’s younger than Joel. He’s married and they have a baby on the way. He also trains dragons, just like their father did before them. Finally you see the mountains come into view and you know that you’re close to The King.

Joel lands Uvri in a clearing near the castle. Your insides clench as Joel slumps against your back. His forehead rests softly on the back of your shoulder, letting out a deep sigh before wrapping his arms around your waist.

You both sit like that for a minute, your hearts pounding in sync with one another’s. “Make this quick for me, Joel.”

He releases you and you follow him, climbing off Uvri. You reach into one of the bags strapped to his saddle and pull out the tattered dress.

“I’m sorry about this.” Joel says softly.

“I know,” you say sadly as you walk behind Uvri to change.

You slip out of the new leathers, even though you’re gutted over not having your wings, getting dressed has been easier. You stare down at the thin bra and panties, squeezing your eyes shut before sliding them off. The scratchy fabric of the plain dress is uncomfortable against your skin. You stuff your clothes in a bag and walk back around to Joel.

He looks at you with big sad eyes, recalling what you said last night while you ate dinner, “The King needs to think that you hate me more than he does. You have to hate me to keep me safe.”

His eyes lower down your body, stopping where the hem of the dress ends at your knees, then his head turns to look at his right hand. Your eyes follow, a thick rusted chain connected to a metal collar grips in his fingers. He walks to you slowly and you lock eyes. He stops just a hair away and you force a hard swallow before taking in a shaky breath, gathering your hair in your hands.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks, placing the cold, heavy collar around your throat. The hinges creak menacingly before the loud click of the lock reverberates down your whole body. The weight of it rests on your collarbone and it feels like it’s pressing you down into the earth. Even though this was your idea and you have no reason not to trust Joel, you feel absolutely humiliated. Uvri stares ahead at the castle and you find yourself longing for Remmer.

“Why can’t we take her?” You asked Joel last night.

“She needs to be the one to imprint on the babies if I can’t. She fully trusts me, so the babies will too.”

Within seconds of remounting him, Uvri lands on top of that same tower and your body starts trembling, teeth chattering in your skull. Joel helps you down and then pulls you into his arms. You sink into his body, letting his warmth and comfort wash over you. “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I’m going to make this as fast as possible. Just look at the floor the whole time. Don’t look up. I got you.”

You clear the glass from your throat, “Don’t let go of my chain.”

He hands you the case that contains the three dragon eggs before looping the chain around his hand a few times. You follow down the stairs and hallway, and before the guards open the doors to the main hall you take a shaky breath and look down at the case.

Don’t look up.

“Joel!” The King exclaims as you enter. “You brought your little slave, I see!”

“Probably should have let you kill her,” he says darkly as he pulls you along the long corridor. “Ungrateful little thing. Couldn’t trust her to stay alone.”

Don’t look up.

When you reach the foot of the stairs, a guard grabs the box from your hands roughly. Joel bows, and when you stay standing he gives the chain a hard yank towards the ground. Your knees crash down on the cobblestone floor. In a cruel mocking tone Joel says, “bow to your merciful king. You should be dead.”

You let out a small cry of pain and The King laughs cruelly, “look at my trophy, fairy.”

Don’t look up.

When your eyes stay fixed on the floor he shuffles in his throne and chuffs like a petulant child before yelling, “I’m talking to you!”

Joel tugs on your chain again and you look up at The King through your lashes. Above him, your wings are hanging from the wall, suspended in a swirling, thin black mist.

“When your master brings me the other eggs, I might let you have these back. But I’ve grown quite accustomed to them. They look better here than they did on your useless back.” The King is smiling like he’s at an amusement park, clearly getting nothing but pleasure out of the torture you’re being put through.

Joel crouches beside you, grabbing a handful of your hair and forcefully pulls. You let out a yelp as he brings your face within inches of his. His face is harsh, eyebrows knitted together and jaw clenched. “Thank your King, little whore.” He spits and yanks your head towards The King.

“Thank you,” you say quietly, voice trembling with fear. Joel shoves your head down, you lose your balance and your palms collide with the floor before he pulls you back to a kneeling position by the chain.

Your heart feels like it’s in your stomach. Your beautiful iridescent wings hung up in such a cruel and harsh place. Tears start burning in the back of your eyes, everything about this feels wrong. Joel has slipped into this role too easily. Maybe he’s using you to get to the rest of the remaining Fae.

As Joel and The King discuss when the next eggs will be ready, you fight to keep your tears in. You focus on breathing, blood surging so loudly through your ears that you can’t make out what they’re saving above you.

My wings. My wings. My wings.

Soon, Joel pulls sharply on your chain and barks, “Up.”

You stand and walk weakly behind him.

My wings. My wings. My wings.

Joel leads you back up the stairs, never looking back at you to keep up what you hope is a facade. But he was so goddamn convincing in that room that all the tender moments you’ve had are gone. His face was so harsh, so full of hatred. You don’t remember how it feels to be safe around him anymore. He hoists you up onto Uvri. Joel flicks Uvri’s reins with one hand, his free arm wrapping tightly around your middle. As he takes off, your body slumps back against Joel, the emotional exhaustion starting to take over.

My wings. My wings. My wings.

The dragon flaps his wings fiercely, the wind whipping so hard your eyes start to water, blurring your vision. The air cools the steel around your neck and it nips at your skin. You close your eyes against the cold and all you can see is Joel’s cruel expression, as if it’s been tattooed on your eyelids.

Within minutes you’re landing in the same field you had just days ago. It took Remmer half a day to fly to the castle from here, and that’s when you realize just how powerful Uvri is. The dragon has barely touched down when Joel is pulling you off the dragon and into his arms.

“I’m sorry, baby girl. I’m so sorry.” He whispers into your hair, holding your tense and exhausted body tightly against him. His fingers work quickly to undo the collar. As it falls to the ground, his fingers trace the light bruises already forming at the base of your neck.

Your hands push at his chest and he lets you take a small step back. You stare at the ground and fight against the urge to run. He called you a whore and ungrateful. He made you look at your wings after he told you not to look up. Everything he did in that hall was done with such conviction that you’re tempted to believe it yourself. You could run. You don’t have wings, no one would hunt you now. You could just run, run and hide.

When you finally manage to look at him, he’s nothing like he was with The King. Dark eyes have turned warm, flecks of brown sugar shine throughout his chocolate brown eyes, tears lining his lash line. His jaw is relaxed, lips parted as he looks at your neck. Without warning he drops to his knees and sits back on his heels. He lets out a hiss when he sees the deep purple bruise already wrapping around your knees. His hands come to rest lightly on the side of your thighs.

“Please talk to me,” he chokes, one tear rolling down his cheek.

You swallow down the lump that’s been in your throat since landing on that tower. “My wings,” you whisper sadly.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry you had to see that.”

You blink a few times at Joel. Each flutter of your lashes morphs your sadness into rage. “Kiss me.”

“What?” His brow furrows slightly, but you don’t miss the uptick of a small smile that appears on his lips at the thought of kissing you.

“I am fucking livid. Kiss me. Kiss me so I know that it’s ok. Kiss me to show me that we will get my wings back and that all of that was just an act back there. Kiss me to distract me from going there and ripping out that vile man's throat.”

He leans forward, warm velvety lips gently press to your right kneecap, then your left. Joel stands, hands coming to tangle in your hair. “It was all an act, I feel horrible. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry for,” you say, hands trailing up the strong muscles of Joel’s back, concealed under his leather coat. “This was my destiny, to destroy The King. With you.”

The second the words leave your mouth you and Joel come together in a mess of lips and tongue and teeth. It’s frantic and desperate, both of you saying everything you need to say with this kiss. He swallows your moans with his mouth. Gripping your hair tightly with one hand. The other running down your back, lifting you up by the meaty globe of your ass. Your dress hikes up your hips as you lock your legs around his waist, hands gripping his shoulders as he walks you to the edge of the clear blue river.

You break your kiss to undo his jacket, sliding the leather buckles out of their metal clasps. First the one at his collar bone, then chest and stomach. You press your lips against his again as you slide the zipper down. He’s not wearing a shirt, his strong tanned chest warms your body through your thin dress, your nipples stiffening in anticipation.

Joel lowers your feet to the smooth, colourful rocks of the shore and breaks apart from you. Your bottom lip slips between your teeth as you watch him drop his jacket to the ground, your hands working on their own to undo the leather tie of his pants. The outline of his cock pressing through the thick fabric.

His hands grab your wrists. “I don’t - I don’t have protection.”

You blink up at him. “Joel, I’m over six hundred years old. I don’t think pregnancy is a worry.”

You stare at each other for a second, sexual tension morphing as he smiles at you and you start to laugh. His hands come to your neck again, fingering the light bruising before his lips press gently where the collar sat. The hurried rush of his lips and hands is replaced by a slow passion.

His lips caress your neck and you close your eyes. Head falling to the side to give him more access. Your hands reach for the growing bulge behind his pants. He moans into your neck at your touch, kisses moving up your neck.

“Tell me what you need, sweetheart.” The deep baritone of his voice sends a fresh wave of arousal to your core. You’re not wearing anything under this thin dress, you can almost feel how wet you are on your thighs.

“Need you,” you moan, voice husky with want.

Joel grips the hem of your dress. “Use your words,” he says, his forehead resting against yours. “Need me to what, baby girl.”

“Make me feel good.” You say.

He slips your dress up and over your body, leaving you completely bare to him. He steps back, toeing his boots off and working at his fitted leather pants. He slides them down his hips, his cock springs free, slapping against his hard abdomen. You lick your lips at the sight of him naked before you. Tattoos and scars on display for you, tanned skin glowing under the setting sun.

His hand reaches out for yours, intertwining his fingers with yours and leading you into the water. It’s cool on your skin and eases the pain in your knees, which just makes you crave Joel more. When the water is passed his hips he grabs you again, lifting you into his arms, bodies pressed tightly against each other.

“Make you feel good how?” He asks, kissing your neck and collarbone.

“Please Joel.” you whine.

“Please what, baby girl?”

You grind your hips into his, you can feel his cock sliding underneath you as your clit brushes against his body and you whine.

“Need my cock sweet girl?” You moan out again. “Say what you need.”

“I need…” fuck why is this so hard for you. After years of giving to everyone else and having no one to take care of you it’s nearly impossible to ask for it.

“Please, darlin’. Say whatever you need and I’ll give it. Fingers. Tongue. Whatever you want.”

You grind against him again, the water of the lake making everything slippery. “Want you inside me.”

“Good girl,” his voice is rough with need, “guide it in for us.”

You reach your hand between your bodies and wrap your hand around his cock, pumping his length a few times before lining it up with your entrance. You can feel your walls fluttering already, anxiously waiting to be filled.

“Look at me,” he says.

You lock eyes and slowly sink down onto him, the head of his thick cock filling you. “Oh god - Joel - fuck.”

“Keep goin’ baby,” his eyes glaze over, “wanna be all the way in.”

Your eyes stay locked to his, fingernails digging into his shoulders as you slide him the rest of the way inside you. You feel every inch of him stretching and filling you. The cool water of the slow moving river dances along your skin.

“Fuck you feel so good.” He moans, bringing his lips to yours. Kissing you deeply.

You grind small, slow circles with your hips into him, at this angle he’s hitting that perfect spongy spot, his abdomen rubbing against your clit.

“That’s it, baby.” He praises as you cry out in pleasure. The small movements shouldn’t feel this good, but you’re surrounded by him in the water and as the sun fully sets and the moon and stars start to light up the water, he looks so beautiful. The trees are still, the world quiet and it feels like just the two of you exist. “Does that feel good?”

“Yes, Joel. Mmmm yes.” You can feel your orgasm building, your heart pounds in your chest over the close intimacy. Your body reacts so well to his, your pussy twitching slightly around his cock.

“Relax. Take what you need,” he says, letting you rub against him at your own pace.

“Oh fuck,” that familiar pressure starts to build again and you grip harder onto Joel.

“That’s it. That’s my good girl.” His hands cup your ass under the water, moving with your slow and steady rhythm. His dark eyes drink you in as you writhe against him. Moonlight reflects off the water, dancing around his body like candlelight.

“More, please Joel. More.”

“Ya?” He asks, thrusting up into you when you grind down on him.

“Oh god. Fuck me. Please.”

Joel crashes his lips to yours again as he takes over. Lifting you up and then slamming into you with his hips, hands pushing you down onto him. You moan into his mouth, he’s so deep and stretching you almost to the point of pain.

He repeats this motion a few more times, you call out his name to the forest, completely unashamed of your pleasure echoing back at you.

“You look so fucking beautiful like this. Look down baby, look how well you’re taking me.”

You lean back, watching through the clear moonlit water as Joel slides in and out of you and that heat in your lower belly starts to erupt. You cry out, watching as Joel’s thrusts become slower and sloppier.

“Play with your clit.” he demands through gritted teeth, he’s trying his hardest not to come yet.

You lean back slightly, sliding your hand between your bodies and rub tight circles on your sensitive nub.

“Joel!” it comes out as a high pitched squeal, you’re right on the edge, teetering towards all consuming pleasure.

“I know. I know.” His voice is soothing.

“I’m. Oh fuuuuck. I’m gonna…”

“Cum for me baby. Let me feel it.” Your orgasm washes over you, sparks lighting up your whole body. You curl into Joel, biting his neck gently, muffling the sounds of your screams as your walls clench hard around him. Joel doesn’t stop thrusting up into you, “that’s it. Good job sweetheart.”

You bring both hands to tangle in Joel’s curls, kissing him as you come down from your high. “Cum for me, Joel,” you say between kisses.

He smiles at you proudly. You could ask for what you wanted when you two started. “Where do you want it baby?”

“I wanna watch,” you moan, your pussy becoming overstimulated by his thrusts.

He lifts you off, you reach for his cock as your feet hit the cool round stones on the bottom of the lake. You watch as you stroke him at the same pace he was fucking you.

“Show me Joel,” your free hand cups his balls, massaging them gently. They tighten in your hand before his cock twitches and his milky spend rises up in the water around you.

You look up at his face as he groans your name, his eyes are fixed on you and glazed over with pleasure. This big, strong dragon trainer is like soft clay, coming apart in your hands and you’ve never felt sexier.

“Fuck,” he says bringing you in for a kiss.

“Bring me home,” you whisper after breaking the kiss.

“We’ll go to your family first thing.” He says, kissing your nose.

“No, just take me home.”

Joel smiles warmly. Home. His home, and now your home.

==================================

Taglist:

@corazondebeskar @hiddenbabynyc @rainstorms-library @smutsmutslut @sullyrocky44 @keylimebeag @pimosworld @casa-boiardi @pedritoferg @paleidiot @lorilane33 @pansexual-potatoes @baar-ur @jessthebaker @jasminedragoon @koshkaj-blog @pedroswife69 @strawberri-blonde @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @iloveenya @javierpena-inatacvest @blazeflays @mermaidgirl30 @lorilane33

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music-in-my-veins14 · 4 months ago

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#Spotify #Finale #Come From Away #Musical #Joel Hatch #Music

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tightjeansjavi · 1 year ago

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🎀 Unwrap Me 🎀

A blue jeans n’Texas dreams Christmas special 🤍

A/N: Merry Christmas, you filthy animals 🥵

~word count: 2.6k~

Pairing | horse dad!joel x f! reader

Summary: it's your first Christmas with your boyfriend, Joel Miller

Warnings: smut, fluff,soo much love between these two, so much kissing and soft touching, mentions of Christmas, unprotected piv, oral (f receiving) dirty talk, praise kink, teasing, sex by the fire, no age gap, pre!outbreak/no!outbreak Joel, soft! joel,horse dad!joel, boyfriend!joel, Ellie and Sarah exist in this universe, reader has no physical descriptions such as skin color or body type, +18 minors dni!

It’s Christmas Eve, your first Christmas spent with your Texas Tall Glass of water. A lot has changed between you and him since Fourth of July weekend. You had gradually moved your life into Joel’s. It had started off with sleepovers, more shared memories at the breakfast table that had become a part of your routine norm. Dinners, movie nights, date nights, driving Sarah to school. You and Joel were nervous that the transition period of living together would sour, but when you love someone, you communicate and make the appropriate adjustments so that you and your partner can both be happy.

So when you suggested separate rooms so that Joel could have his own private space, and you could have yours, he quickly realized there were more pros to this arrangement than cons. Plus, it created a healthy boundary, and the level of intimacy you shared together was heightened as a result. Who doesn’t love having sleepovers with your Texas Tall Glass of water? They were so fun.

You were becoming the definition of a happy family, and this Christmas was special for all of you, but especially Ellie and Sarah who were officially sisters. The adoption process went smoothly back in August, and Ellie finally knew what it was like to have a real family who loved her unconditionally.

The month of December flew by in a blur and you and Joel found yourself wrapping gifts last minute because everything had to be perfect for the baby girls. Joel was beaming with excitement despite the amount of times he had accidentally gotten a paper cut from the damn wrapping paper, or a piece of tape got caught on the table, or his ribbons didn’t turn out the way he had planned. But thank goodness you were there to help him with those gentle hands of yours. He watched in pure adoration while you fluffed up one of his ribbons before setting the wrapped gift under the tree.

You were both wearing matching plaid Christmas pajamas, working side by side while It’s A Wonderful Life played on the nearby tv.

You only stopped your shared wrapping duties when the scene where George Bailey and Mary Hatch were dancing together, having fun and being carefree.

Joel tossed the tape to the side before he gently grabbed your hands and playfully pulled you in front of the tv. He dropped one hand to your lower back, pulling you flush against his sweater clad chest. You danced in front of the tv like two fools that were madly in love, and by god were you in love with this man.

It wasn’t long before he was kissing you by the fireside, easing you onto your back and only departing from your lips to grab a few pillows and a blanket from the couch so he could create a little love nest for you and him to fuck on. It couldn’t be anymore romantic. A crackling fire, glittering lights on the Christmas tree that Joel chopped down with his own hands. (What a sight that was)

His lips and hot breath kissing your skin, fingertips dancing, sweaters being thrown carelessly so you could feel one another more easily. Always needing that skin to skin contact. The thick drag of his cock stretching you open, the gentle roll of his hips, a strong arm wrapped around you, holding you close. Calloused fingertips brushing your chin, easing your head back so you can meet his lips in a dance once more.

He licks into your mouth, hot, shuddered breaths of mutual pleasure. His beard tickles your skin as you feel yourself consumed with all of him. Eyes rolling back, dumb smiles planted on your lovesick faces each time he fucks into you with that steady rhythm of his.

You draw one another in closer to your peaks, praises tumbling from your lips, toes curling, his thumb strokes your clit with his own neediness to feel your clenching pussy milk him dry as he spills into you, hips stuttering, moans muffled by a bruising kiss.

He softens inside of you, fingertips dragging across your navel, drawing patterns against sweat stained skin.

Another kiss treasured before he slowly pulls his hips back, softened cock slipping out, glistening under the warm glow of the fire in yours and his come.

He leans over, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “hot chocolate or tea before round two?” He drawls warm and deep, that raspy post-sex voice of his sending another gush of arousal between your come painted thighs.

“Hot chocolate..splash of Bailey’s?” You hum, reaching for his jaw, pulling him back in for another kiss.

“I like your thinkin’, sugar.” You can taste his boyish grin on your tongue before he departs to the kitchen.

Your Texas Tall Glass of water has gained so much confidence in himself these past few months that he’s shared with you. You’ve always been there to gently remind him that he’s a good man, a good father. That it’s okay to be hurt sometimes and that his feelings are valid. That you’ll always be there to listen, to guide him because he’s done the same for you. He’s taught you what he knows best, filling your brain with his knowledge of contracting, showing you the ropes of his skill.

and in turn you have taught him everything you know about horses and in those short few months, Joel has found himself fully immersed in your world. The business of Dream Riders has significantly grown, and your little herd of six horses has since doubled, and Joel was there with you every step of the way. Javi P, the chestnut, antsy OTTB unlearned his hatred of men through Joel, and you never thought you’d see the day.

The quiet and reserved rescued mustang named Din has found himself a place in the herd with his little donkey friend, Grogu always at his heels.

In the low kitchen light, Joel finds himself thinking of his future with you by his side as he tops the steaming mugs of hot chocolate off with a few marshmallows. Meeting you was one of the best things that had ever happened to him outside the birth of his daughter. He really wasn’t one to believe in all that mumbo jumbo about soulmates, but here he was, smiling dumbly out the kitchen window because maybe they did exist; soulmates and all that.

He heard your sweet voice travel to his ears from where he stood, missing his presence already. The thought sent his heart swelling up like a balloon.

He found you sprawled out in the love nest he built, with only the blanket to cover your modesty. Your eyes drifted upwards, glistening from the glow of the fire, hand outstretched in his direction because you really did miss him for those short few minutes apart.

“Sorry, honey bun. Was jus’ addin’ a few marshmallows s’all.” He crouched down, setting his mug off to the side before he handed you yours, leaning down to steal a quick kiss before he made himself comfortable in the love nest once more with his legs comforting laid out near the fire.

Your hot chocolates were enjoyed in a comfortable silence as the fire continued to crackle.

He rested his weight back on his elbows while you found your head resting in his lap, fingertips tracing patterns along his bare thigh.

“Do you..think we got them enough gifts? Can’t believe how expensive a damn PlayStation costs.” He chuckled, shaking his head with a grin.

“Oh, I think we got them plenty of gifts, cowboy. I just can’t wait to see Ellie’s face when she opens up the PlayStation, and when Sarah sees the new custom tack set I got for her and Frankie?” You said softly, leaning into his touch when the warm expanse of his large hand came to rest along the exposed skin of your lower back, fingertips brushing the curve of your ass beneath the blanket.

“I’m gonna tear up just thinkin’ about seein’ their faces in the mornin.’”

“You stop that right now, baby. Cause if you start, then I’m gonna start too.” You giggled softly pressing your cheek further against the warm expanse of his thigh. “I hope you love what I got you, Joel.”

“Baby, I already got everything I want right here. What more can a man ask for than two loving daughters, and the most wonderful, gentle, loving woman by his side?”

“You’re such a sap, Joel. Who could have been the cause of that?” You teased playfully.

“Dunno. Who could it be? Hmm..let’s see here..perhaps it's the stunning gal laying fireside with my come still drippin’ between her thighs? Ring any bells for ya?” He chuckled, slowly letting his fingertips dip lower between your cheeks, dragging his fingers through the seam of your pussy.

Your thighs instinctively parted open so his fingers would have easier access while your own traced dangerously close to his hardening cock between his thighs. It didn’t take much for either of you to get going again.

“Ooh, look who’s being vulgar right before Santa’s gonna come right down the chimney. That kinda talk is gonna get you on the naughty list, cowboy.”

He chuckled, eyes drifting downwards to where your cheek was still resting against his thigh before they traveled across your bare spine, down to your lower back and between your thighs where his fingers were lightly teasing you. “Mmm..well, sugar, your Texas Tall Glass of water has been on the naughty list for years. Say, you think Santa would mind if I unwrapped my gift early? Think he’ll still bring me coal?”

You fought the warmth rising to your cheeks from the filth dripping so casually between his lips. However, you didn’t fight the crawling desire to feel his touch a bit more as you slowly rolled your ass back into the expanse of his hand. “Baby, didn’t you already unwrap your gift earlier?”

“Sure did. But I think I wanna unwrap it a little more..gotta make it count, y’know? And what better way to ring in Christmas than to pull a couple more orgasms outta my girl. Remember over the summer, when I went down on your sweet cunt for the first time? Do’ya remember what I told ya, sweet girl?” He shifted his weight, easing your cheek off his thigh so he could face you fully. His hand left the spot between your thighs only to then gently coax you on your back. He was attentive to fixing the pillows behind you so that you were nice and comfy.

“Fuck..you naughty, naughty man. I lost track of how many you’ve given to me today, baby. We’ve surpassed the three to four times a day already, Joel.” You giggled, thighs falling open so he could see just for himself how aroused you were just from his teasing alone.

“What can I say, baby. Now that we’re livin’ under the same roof..you can’t expect me to not be touchin’ ya every second that I get. Fuckin’ addictive is what you are. You and that sweet fuckin’ pussy between those thighs.” His voice dropped an octave as he lowered himself onto his elbows, looping his arms around your middle, yanking you down gently so that you were closer to his face. “Christ, all this dirty talk got you this wet?” He peered up at you through thick lashes. “Still sticky with my come..fuck.” He whispered, hot breath fanning your core, “what a sight that is.”

A whine crawled up your throat as the broad expanse of his nose brushed against your inner thighs, dancing across your neglected clit and settling against your pubic bone. “What was it that I called it? Oh, right, the Joel Miller pussy eating special..” he chuckled, sending vibrations racing straight through your core and down to the tips of your toes. You found yourself fisting the blanket in one hand, and the other tangling through his soft head of curls. His hair had grown longer, and now was curling at the nape of his neck. You already threatened him to never cut it because there was nothing you loved more than ripping his baseball cap off at the end of a long work day, and running your fingers through his sweat stained curls while you rode his cock.

“Fuck, yeah, of course I remember that, baby. You literally sent me into a whole new world after that..” you rolled your hips towards his face, desperate to feel his mouth already while your nails lightly scraped at his scalp. “Well, if you’ve been such a naughty boy as you’ve claimed to be, why don’t you unwrap your present a little more, cowboy.”

He had that glint in his eye, one that sent your pussy pulsing desperately around nothing because goddamn Joel Miller and his big brown eyes, and his ridiculously large hands, and his Texas twang, and the way he loved you unconditionally. That goddamn Texas Tall Glass of water that stumbled upon your website all those months ago seeing your pretty face, bright smile and your arm wrapped around your horse's neck in a hug.

“You most certainly don’t have to ask me twice, sugar plum.” Was all he said before you felt his lips press an open mouthed kiss to your clit, dragging downwards as he tasted yours and his come along his tongue. He drove his face forward, one hand splayed across your stomach and the other clasped around your thigh as he devoured his favorite meal. He unwrapped you like the pretty bow you were with his tongue. Jaw going slack as he suckled your clit into his mouth. His eyes were locked on your face, the way your lips parted when he swirled his tongue in a figure eight motion.

He watched the way your chest rose and fell, head tossed back wildly, thighs quivering around his head, clawing at the blanket, tugging on the roots of his dark hair. His hand dropped from your stomach only to find your own. He laced his fingers through yours, squeezing your hand tight before he brought them to rest along your stomach.

He mumbled praising words against your ruined cunt. I love you, I adore you, I cherish you. My girl. My girl. My sweet filthy girl.

The coil was pulled tight inside of you, so tight you were seeing stars as you struggled to keep your moans quiet, but your Texas Tall Glass of water made it increasingly difficult to hold them at bay.

He drank you in, drop by drop, savoring the taste of you along his tongue before he finally let you breathe. And there was your man again, lips, chin, and beard coated in your slick as he nipped playfully at your thigh. His hand that wasn’t wrapped around yours, rubbed soothing circles into your skin as he kissed his way up your body to finally meet your lips once more.

You lazily kissed one another knowing that you had all the time in the world together and that nothing had to be rushed. But especially now, here in one another’s arms while you reached between your bodies, hand wrapping around the base of his cock so you could slip him right back in, guiding him home.

His head came to rest along your chest, eyes closed in a peaceful bliss while you gently pushed back his sweat stained curls that were sticking to his forehead. A tender sweep of your lips across his temple followed.

“I sure hope that Santa comes down that chimney soon just so he can see what a naughty, naughty, boy I’ve been this Christmas.” Your Texas Tall Glass of water murmured against your skin before visions of sugar plums and you would dance in his head.

banners made by the lovely @saradika-graphics 🤍

I no longer do tag lists so please follow @tightjeansjaviupdates for fic updates and notifications!

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guiltyasdave · 6 months ago

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i usually do my weekly fic recs on sunday, but i’ll be pretty busy tomorrow, so i’m just doing them now :) and i looooved what i read this week, so please check these out!

especially right now, when being a fanfic writer isn't the most enjoyable experience tbh, please try spreading kindness and show your writers some love <3

a list of all my recs ever can be found here!

dividers by @/enchanthings ✨

i'm organizing the fics by character and adding emojis to indicate the contents a little. still, please look at the tags/ warnings and decide for yourself if something might not be for you.

💘= fluff • ❤️‍🔥= smut • 🤍= angst • 🖤= dark

📚= oneshot • 📖= series

dave york

volatile by @javier-pena ❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📖

reckless by @whataperfectwasteoftime 💘❤️‍🔥📖

pitch black by @whataperfectwasteoftime 💖❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚

tainted heart by @sizzlingcloudmentality ❤️‍🔥🖤📖

sight universe by @goodwithcheese 💘❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚

whisked away by @joelalorian 💘📖

dave york & tim rockford

pack your heart, you might need it by @sin-djarin 💖❤️‍🔥🤍📚

dieter bravo

dieter’s doggy style by @schnarfer 💘📖

dieter bravo & joel miller

stretch by @sp00kymulderr ❤️‍🔥📖

din djarin

hatch by @secretelephanttattoo 💘🤍📖

fifteen minutes by @whocaresstillthelouvre 💘❤️‍🔥📖

frankie morales

europa by @the-mandawhor1an 💘❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📖

javier peña

midnight rainstorms by @thundermartini 💘🤍📖

i’ll carry you by @almostfoxglove 💘❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚

joel miller

the checklist by @thetriumphantpanda 💖❤️‍🔥📚

smother by @beardedjoel 💖❤️‍🔥🤍🖤📚

ain’t that a bite by @almostfoxglove 💘📖

unbound by @sp00kymulderr ❤️‍🔥🤍📖

pretty baby by @mrsmando ❤️‍🔥🤍📖

on every street by @thundermartini 🤍📖

rotten by @alltheirdamn ❤️‍🔥🖤📖

lost cause by @joelalorian 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📖

pillow by @iamasaddie 💘📖

life and loss by @wildemaven 💘🤍📖

a fake soccer date by @toomanystoriessolittletime 💘❤️‍🔥📖

until then by @studioghibelli 🤍📖

lucien flores

trying something new by @missredherring 💘❤️‍🔥📖

marcus acacius

circumstance by @javier-pena ❤️‍🔥🖤📖

my own writing

wildest dreams — dave york x f!reader (now a finished series!!! 🥹) 💘❤️‍🔥🤍📚

dancing phantoms on the terrace — oberyn martell x f!reader 🤍📖

#pedro pascal fanfiction #joel miller #javier peña #marcus acacius #din djarin #lucien flores #dave york #dieter bravo #frankie morales #janas recs #weekly fic recs

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littlemisspascal · 6 months ago

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New Writers added to The Pedro Library 🐼

@almostfoxglove @syd-djarin

New Works Added ✨

Many fics aren’t appearing in the tags when searching. If I miss yours, please let me know 💗 Or add me to your taglist cuz I love being tagged 😊

As always, if you would like me to remove your work from the rec list, please let know and I’ll remove them asap 😊

@pedrito-friskito Din Track 9 - The Prophecy

@secretelephanttattoo Din Hatch

@undercoverpena Joel It’s Different in the Sun, In the Day / Frankie Take You to the Hilltop, and Tell You You’re Pretty

@sweetpascal Joel Just Like That

@alltheirdamn Joel Rotten

@spacecowboyhotch Joel Mellow Embers

@burntheedges Joel What It Is to Grow

@mermaidgirl30 Joel Teach Me a Lesson, Mr. Miller

@stylesispunk Joel ‘The other side of the door’

@littlepadika Joel Outbreak Day Eve

@backtothefanfiction Joel Insecure

@wildemaven Joel + Dave Life and Loss

@criticallyacclaimedstranger Joel Excitement

@the-ginger-hedge-witch Joel Fixed Up

@djarinmuse Joel Is Joel Okay?

@novemberrain-writes Whiskey Panic Attack / Marcus P Vomiting

@crowandmousewritingco Dieter Facing the Monsters Head On / Ezra Strange Creature

@schnarfer Dieter Dieter’s Doggy Style

@wheresarizona Marcus A Columba

@absurdthirst Frankie The Weekend Getaway

@janaispunk Oberyn Dancing Phantoms on the Terrace

#my library #joel miller #marcus acacius #dieter bravo #agent whiskey #marcus pike #frankie morales #oberyn martell #din djarin #dave york #ezra prospect

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fabuloustrash05 · 3 months ago

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Lord Dregg’s Children (TMNT 2012 OCs)

Concept: Lord Vringath Dregg is dead, but before his passing he laid 3 eggs to where he would be reincarnated in his children. The Dregg Triplets were born, each having a distinct characteristic from their father’s personality. Now the Triplets plot to avenge their father, rebuild his insect empire and become sworn enemies of the next generation of the Hamato family.

Droks Dregg

Male, 6’2”

Voice HC: Joel Perez

Signature color code: 534293 (dark purple)

Oldest (first one to hatch out the egg/chrysalis idk)

The most dangerous of the three siblings.

Narcissistic, very charismatic, low self-esteem if things don’t go his way.

Likes having control of everything and everyone, panics when he starts losing his grip. Everyone is a pawn to him. Stay in line and he’ll let you live (maybe)

Analyzes the situation before taking action. Plans ahead

Prefers hurting the opponent more mentally than physically

Defiantly a gossip, has little mini tick like creatures that fly around the galaxy listening in and reporting back to him

Needs to straggle something or someone

Extra talons grow out of his back, making him resemble a spider

Kroda Dregg

Female, 6’1”

Voice HC: Faye Mata

Signature color code: 05bbaa (turquoise)

Middle child, hatched soon after Droks

Lies and tells everyone she’s the oldest, competes with her big brother

Self absorbed, psychopathic and manipulative. Eerie charm

Doesn’t think, just acts. Droks often has to keep her in check

Perfectionist with her kills.

Built up rage, will lose her shit at the drop of the hat. She will bite you.

If she’s not good at something on her first try, it is officially “stupid and pointless” to her

Goes straight for the kill. Will give you a quick death. Or just eat you. Which she’s in the mood for

Her nails are like wasp stingers.

Envious that Tar can fly.

Tar Dregg

Male, 6’0”

Voice HC: Richard Steven Horvitz

Signature color code: eb5951 (medium red)

Youngest, took longest to hatch.

Siblings make fun of him for his height. He’s literally only 1-2 inches shorter than them

Very confident and pushy. Clever with insults/combacks. Ambitious with his talents.

Opinionated, he makes his presence known

Enjoys the slow and painful process of hurting his victims.

Finds his siblings bickering to be entertaining. Often tries to find ways to make them fight, even if it means starting fake drama.

Does what he’s told cause “meh I got nothing better to do so yolo”

Will betray his siblings for a single potato chip

Is the only sibling with wings

#did I base these guys off The Vees from Hazbin Hotel?#yes :3 #tmnt next gen #Tmnt next gen oc #fabtrash oc #fabtrash au #tmnt 2012 future au #tmnt 2012 #tmnt #teenage mutant ninja turtles #lord dregg #Tmnt lord Dregg #oc: kroda #oc: tar #oc: droks

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ask-xisuma · 7 months ago

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hey xisuma!

did you enjoy fathers day? as the father of the server i would assume the members did something for you! <3

Hi!

I did enjoy it, sorry for the delayed reply here.

I did get a few things for the hermits, which I'm ever grateful for!

• Tango got me a mug that says #1 Dad (he painted "min" on at the end so that it says "dadmin")

• Jimmy got me a book on parenting?

• Zedaph got me a really cool watch! I just says "the time is now". I love it.

• Doc made me lunch. It was great, he's an amazing cook.

• Joel glitter bombed me. I think i still have glitter in my air filter.

• Gem made me amazing Xisuma-safe cookies.

• And there was also a basket of eggs just left there on my doorstep. There was also a card that read "Dad" in a fancy cursive. I built an incubator for them to see if they would hatch.

• And Etho- well, let me show you.

#xisuma answers #xisuma #hermitblr #geminitay #jimmy solidarity #tangotek #zedaph #docm77 #poultry man #ethoslab

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suzdin · 1 year ago

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DATURA

Summary: Dave and his team have been sent to kill you, but the night pans out differently than you anticipate.

Warnings: ¡SEX POLLEN! Implied noncon due to sex pollen. Fictional drug use. Mentions of weapons/guns/murder (duh). Threeway sex. Gun play, unprotected p in v, creampies, masturbation (f), fingering, spit roasting, oral (m receiving), use of sex toy on reader, anal, spitting, light degradation, choking, spanking, rough sex, squirting, let me know if I missed anything. No use of y/n. Picture is for aesthetics only, as reader is not given a physical description.

This fic is extremely feral and not for everyone, and that’s okay. <3

Word Count: 4,800-ish

Taglist: @kellybelly1978 @ohheypedrito @darkheartgatita @laughing-in-th3-purple-rain @sonderosa @missladym1981

And of course I dedicate this to @survivingandenduring and @kateispunk for holding a gun to my head until I wrote this inspiring me to write this 😘

——

Dave prods his index finger at the highlighted portions of the floor plans on the tablet, which he presents to his compatriots.

“There are entrances here, here…and here,” he points out, tapping the third for emphasis. “She’ll be expecting those. Watching them.”

Dave brushes his bottom lip with his thumb, brow creasing in contemplation.

“Ari and Resnik can head off the two main entrances. Joel, you take the side. And I’ll enter…here.” He places a finger where there’s a hastily drawn ‘X’ facing a private alley and courtyard.

“Don’t see a door or window,” the tall, tan man to his left drawls, placing a hand on his hip.

“Right. There’s a secret entrance there which leads to a crawl space left over from the city’s bootlegging days. None of the residents know. And guess where it exits?” Dave asks, eyes darting between the three men.

He places a finger where the bedroom closet would be.

A smirk twists Joel’s mustache. “Shit,” he says, scratching thick, weathered fingers through his scruff. “Gonna hit ‘er from all sides.”

“Exactly,” Dave responds, mirroring the way his companion places his hands on his hips. “We’ll strike at 10 PM sharp. That’s when the main festivities begin. No one will hear a thing.”

——

Dave crouches next to the hatch that leads to the secret door beneath the building, long since defunct due to the city’s proclivity for flooding.

A crackle resonates through his ear piece.

“Miller. Anything?” Dave asks.

“Nothin’,” Joel answers in a low southern lilt, positioned at the bottom of the narrow stairwell on the east side of the building, clicking the safety off on his Glock.

“Ari, Resnik? Station yourselves. Miller, I’m going in.”

“10-4,” Joel returns.

Dave yanks up on the metal hatch and it opens with a jarring creak, drowned out by the roar of the crowds on Bourbon Street and another jazz band playing their rendition of Oh When The Saints Go Marching In for probably the 1,000th time that evening.

He slips in easily and finds a peeling red door, which is shockingly ajar. A stray cat rushes out with a shriek, spitting feline obscenities at him.

“Fuck!” Dave snarls as the dark, furry void streaks past him and into the night.

“What’s goin’ on?” Joel’s voice.

“Nothing. Fucking cat. I’m inside.”

A low, throaty chortle sounds through Dave’s ear piece.

“Eat shit, Miller. Start heading up. I should reach her apartment in five.”

“Unless there’s more cats guarding the place.” This time it’s Ari’s voice. Dave pointedly ignores him.

The crawl space is narrow and damp, crushing in at him from all sides and choked with cobwebs and god knows what else, but it’s surprisingly not the worst place he’s ever been.

The space quickly dead ends into a ladder that looks like it’s seen far better days, rusting from the bolts outward. Dave can’t help but wonder if it will support his full body weight.

“‘M at her front door,” Joel remarks through the ear piece.

“Climbing the ladder now,” Dave responds as he begins his ascent, gripping the bottom rung and giving it a hard jostle to test its integrity.

The metal rungs protest and groan under his weight, but the structure holds true.

The boys had thought it absolutely ludicrous when Dave had come to them for their help with the hit. Four men for one single woman?

Bullshit. A waste of time and resources.

That is until they’d familiarized themselves with your rap sheet. Just shy of forty murders in less than a decade, and a weapons and ballistics specialist to boot.

But it would all end tonight, and that price on your pretty little head would be a nice cherry on top.

He reaches the hatch leading into your closet a moment later, twisting the mechanism that holds it flush to the wooden floor above.

He draws the Beretta from the holster on his hip, clicking off the safety as he strains his hearing to listen for something, anything, that would give him pause; that would make him abort the mission.

He hears nothing but the music seeping in from the streets through the century old brick.

“I’m in, Joel. I’m in,” Dave whispers, lifting the hatch as he silently crawls inside your closet, the scent of you overwhelming his senses, making his nostrils flair. Cock already half hard in his dark denim jeans at the prospect of another name scratched off his list.

Your name.

——

Joel makes short work of unlocking your door, pushing it open with his foot as he replaces the Glock with the heavier semi-automatic at his back, holstering the pistol on his hip.

His face pinches. You hadn’t even locked the deadbolt, despite having one, a feeling of dread slithering up the crease of his scrotum, perspiration pricking at his skin.

You’ve been waiting for them.

You register Joel first, his heavy footfalls impossible to conceal under the creak of the original wooden flooring. It’s almost laughable how loud they’re being, Joel making a ruckus behind you and the other rustling somewhere in your closet, probably smelling your panties for all you know.

Joel finds you at an open window, back facing him as some loud pop song he doesn’t recognize drifts up from the Quarter below. You’re naked aside from a short, black pleated skirt that barely ghosts the lower curve of your ass, a silver and white fox tail peeking out from beneath the hem of said skirt.

Though he can’t see it from his current vantage, a gun rests on the window sill in front of you. You’re starting to think you won’t be needing it. Not when the man at your back could have already taken a clear shot at you and didn’t.

You lean slightly forward, revealing more of your ass to Joel and cheering as you catch a handful of colorful Mardi Gras beads from one of hundreds of floats below, waving your arms triumphantly over your head before you slip the necklaces around the lovely column of your neck.

Joel spots Dave then, mocha brown eyes shifting to his comrade, his expression unreadable. The Beretta drawn to shoulder height, trained at your head, but he isn’t pulling the trigger. Not yet.

Lowering the rifle, Joel lifts a fist in the air to signal to Dave, take the shot, asshole.

But he doesn’t, and neither does Joel, staring at your bared skin, the exposed hills and valleys of your body. Two men reduced to little more than their base desires in mere seconds. Exactly what you were expecting.

You finally shut the window and turn to face them when they do nothing but stand there, transfixed by your beauty. You’re wearing a masquerade mask in royal purple that’s trimmed with gold lace, cinched tightly behind your head.

You won’t be needing a gun when you can use sexuality as a weapon. It wasn’t the first time, and certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“Took you long enough,” you admonish, eyes drifting back and forth between the two men.

The larger one is broad and older, unkempt curls swirling away from his head, dusted with silver. The beard tracing his jaw is dark and patchy, a thick mustache framing his upper lip.

A red and black flannel stretches across the expanse of his upper body, tucked into dark wash jeans, ending with heavy work boots. His eyes darken in their regard of you.

His companion is also broad, only just less so, and younger than his comrade by what you guess to be ten or fifteen years. His face is clean and smooth with the barest hint of shadow, plush lips pushed outward in bewilderment, a black beanie pulled down to conceal his dark hair, matching the rest of his attire.

“Love the outfit, but a bit on the nose, don’t you think?” you ask the younger of the two men. The edges of his lips twitch upward in amusement.

You sway your hips slightly, making the tail between your legs wag to and fro, enticing the two men to ease closer. And they do. Exactly where you want them.

Dave notices your fingers dancing across the lid of a small metal box in the nick of time.

A new party drug originating from Ibiza, its purpose intended to act as a powerful aphrodisiac amongst the most experimental, but as with most things, too much could be dangerous, in rare cases fatal. It usually came in tab form, but it had been sold to you as a fine powder, and your plan was to drug them senseless until they fucked each other to death or you killed them, depending on how bored you got.

You grasp the ornate metal box in your fingers and flick your wrist outward, hurling the contents in a direct trajectory at Dave’s face, which would have hit the intended target had he not been ready to deflect the strike with a hastily lobbed pillow from the nearby sofa.

The cloud the hit produces is magnificent, a shimmery white mist which coats your face and lips and everything else in its path, inhaled through your sinuses and entered through your bloodstream as traces of the powder land on your tastebuds.

You spit and claw at your face, but it’s too late, and you know it.

You’re fucked in more ways than one.

The affects are almost instantaneous, a fiery hot inferno that builds low in your core, a lance of pain sawing through you from the inside out. Your pupils dilate and everything is suddenly too bright, too painful, every source of illumination having a halo that almost resembles a mushroom cloud in its brilliance, its potency.

You feel the sticky slick coating the inside of your thighs and you double over, clutching your guts, tears pricking at your eyes.

“Whatsa matter, darlin’?” Joel asks, your show of pain bringing him immense joy. “Can’t handle what you dish out?”

His cock strains against his jeans as he watches you and you groan, spreading your legs as you slip a finger between your folds in a bid to quell some of the ache. “Fuck…” you grit.

“Jesus, York, the hell’s wrong with her?” Joel questions.

Dave can only stare, transfixed, palming himself over his jeans.

Both men can’t help but jump when Resnik’s voice comes through the ear piece, so lost in your body they almost forgot why they were there to begin with.

“Everything alright?” he asks.

“Good,” Dave responds. “We’re…negotiating.”

“Negoti— fucking seriously?”

“Yes,” Dave answers firmly, his voice a low and husky. “I’ll explain later. For now, stay in a holding pattern, and make sure no one enters the building.”

Resnik starts to say something else, but Dave flicks off the ear piece and tosses it to the floor before he can finish, already forgotten. Joel follows suit.

“Help, please,” you whimper, stepping toward Joel as you fumble in desperation at his jeans. “Need it bad. It hurts.”

Joel abandons his weapons, drunk at the sight of you. His massive hands circle your waist, squeezing, desirous, lifting your skirt to cup your ass, exposing the tail tucked between your cheeks to Dave. You keen and without thinking, Joel bends forward to press his lips to yours.

“Miller, stop —“ Dave spits sharply, but it’s too late. Joel kisses you, deep and wanton, tongue swiping hungrily at your lips, and within seconds he receives his own dose of the drug, though not nearly as much as you.

He spins you in his grasp and hikes your skirt even higher up your waist, revealing your pussy to Dave, dragging two thick, callused digits between your dripping folds, bumping your clit. You moan and press your ass against him, the hard line of his cock nudging at the plug, heightening your pleasure.

“Y’like that, darlin’?” Joel murmurs into the shell of your ear.

“Yes,” you answer too quickly. “But I need your cock.”

“That so?” he answers gruffly, making quick work of his jeans as he shucks them off like a second skin, the drug already firmly rooting itself in his brain.

He tugs his boxers down, fat cock springing free from its confines as he shoves you forward, folding you in half over the couch with a broad palm pressed between your shoulder blades, notching himself at your entrance and pushing himself inward with reckless abandon.

You grunt at the reprieve, the sting of how forcefully he invades you, how he fills you.

Dave watches the events unfold in stunned silence, lips parted and skewed, unbuckling his belt as his eyes fixate on your face, your lovely sparkling eyes. The way your mouth hangs open when Joel begins railing into you with everything he has to give.

He reaches forward and plucks the mask from your face, discarding it, so he can see you. See how well you take it.

He drags the pad of his thumb along your succulent bottom lip, pressing it against your tongue, to the back of your throat, teasing. Testing.

He exhales a groan when you don’t gag.

He quickly steps out of his jeans and boxers, climbing onto the couch in front of you, roughly gripping the sides of your face so that your lips pop open for him.

You take him into your mouth without question, mewling softly, your throat and jaw burning with effort as he sinks himself into you.

Dave presses the barrel of the gun against your temple, his voice a snarl as he says, “Try anything and I’ll spray your pretty little brains all over these walls, sweetheart. Understood?”

You nod around him in affirmation as he begins rutting into your mouth, his other hand fisted tightly in your hair.

It isn’t long before Joel drags your first orgasm out of you, every muscle in your body constricting, relieving the pain only temporarily before it flares up again, white hot and slithering through your veins like molten metal.

“Thassit, darlin’. Takin’ that dick like a champ,” Joel praises, giving your ass a sharp slap. Every thrust of his hips knocking against the plug secured firmly in your ring of muscle.

“Fucking whore, letting two men enter you,” Dave growls, the gun pressed so squarely against your skull, it’s sure to leave an indentation.

Joel finishes inside you expeditiously with a low growl, panting into the small of your back as he collapses forward, knees smarting.

“Quick on the draw as always, Miller,” Dave tuts, clicking his tongue.

Dave’s fingers twist at your roots as he pulls you further onto his length, bottoming out with a shudder at the back of your throat.

“Fuck off, York,” Joel retorts, still fully hard inside of you. He tugs at the end of the tail, smirking playfully, causing you to moan.

“What if I shoved my dick up your ass next, sweet girl?”

You whimper around Dave in reverence. For both of them.

“Not a chance. That ass is mine,” Dave snorts. “Soon as I’m done with this mouth.”

Joel doesn’t argue. Your pussy feels too good, the way you squeeze him, and it isn’t long before he’s railing you hard again, never having gone soft, even at his age.

You cum a second time, soaking Joel, your release splashing down his muscular thighs. Your moans reverberating through Dave’s cock.

“Fuck, I’m not going to last like this…” Dave grunts as he pulls himself free from you with a pop of your lips, jaw hanging slack as Joel’s unforgiving pace doesn’t falter behind you.

“Trade places, Joel,” Dave demands.

“Not a chance,” Joel growls, the sounds of his hips slamming against your ass lewd and depraved.

“Now, Miller,” Dave reiterates, eyes deepening a shade as he lifts the gun away from your head to aim it at Joel.

“Fuck,” Joel spits, extricating himself from you as he and Dave exchange places. “Fine.”

Joel’s wide palms cup your face and he doesn’t waste time stretching your jaw and throat beyond their limits because fuck, he’s girthy. You taste the cocktail of you and him on your tongue.

He circles the outside of your throat with his hand and squeezes, feeling himself moving in your esophagus, grunting deeply as he watches you take him.

You jolt when you feel something cold, rigid and foreign dashing through your folds a second later, realizing in abject horror what is happening just as Dave pushes it inside of you and begins fucking you with it.

You moan, eyelids fluttering closed and Joel grunts deep in his chest, hand tightening around the cradle of your throat.

“Yeah, you like that, don’t you, slut? You like being fucked with my gun?” Dave grits from behind you.

You make a sound of supplication that tells Dave yes, yes you do.

He grins in satisfaction and drives the gun deeper, angling it just right, making you keen. The resulting squelch is deafening and obscene.

He pulls another orgasm out of you almost immediately, once again temporarily relieving the bubbling pain, sobbing around Joel, who’s already filling your mouth with more of his seed, spilling down your throat with a snarl.

He slows only for a moment, still hard as iron, ready to go again. And again.

Dave drags his lips up the curve of your ass and sinks his teeth into the meat of one of your plump cheeks, clamping down. You writhe against him at the small dagger of pain that courses through you.

“That’s it, sweetheart,” Dave purrs, giving the smarting cheek a slap.

As he continues to fuck you with the barrel of the pistol, his other hand skirts your tight star of muscle, fingers dancing around it.

His hand curls into the synthetic material of the tail, reveling the softness against his fingertips, and begins to tug slowly, lightly, testing.

You initially clench out of instinct, but relax your muscles as understanding settles over you, allowing him to pull it free from your puckered hole, letting it drop to the couch.

“Such a good girl,” Dave croons, tilting his face forward to place a chaste kiss there, the tip of his tongue darting out to circle your rim. You whine and arch into his touch.

“You should have some of this drug, York. Y’won’t have to worry about lastin’ then.”

“No,” Dave says as he lifts his head above your ass to lock eyes with Joel. “One of us needs to keep a clear head.”

“C’mon,” Joel taunts, swiping a finger through the mix of powder and tears still on your face. “Have a taste. Live for once.”

Joel extends his offering to Dave, hovering just over your lower back, inches from Dave’s lips. The men stare each other down, each of their movements slowing, much to your displeasure.

Dave eventually resigns himself, taking Joel’s fingers into his mouth and giving them a good laving with his tongue, tasting the sweetness of the drug, the saltiness of your tears.

Without warning, Joel succumbs to another high, exhaling a sputtered groan as you swallow what he gives you — what little of it there is at this point.

The drug makes quick work of Dave, twisting him into some kind of untethered beast as he drags multiple orgasms out of you with the barrel of the gun, his tongue flicking hungrily against your ring of muscle.

There isn’t a part of you that isn’t on fire. With desire, pain, fear. Fear that this will never end, that these two men will rip you apart from the inside out before all is said and done, but in spite of yourself, in spite of everything, you don’t want it to end.

“Lie back, Joel,” Dave commands and Joel does so without hesitation, his age getting the better of him, welcoming the relief he’ll receive as he makes himself comfortable on your couch.

Likewise, you’re happy for your jaw to have a momentary reprieve, as well, rubbing your tired muscles with your fingers as you catch your breath.

“Get on top of him,” Dave barks at you.

You willingly climb atop Joel, panting, lining yourself up with the slick head of his shaft. Joel’s heavy arm comes up to bar across your hips, pushing you down onto him until you sink all the way to his curls. The new angle making you keen and arch.

Dave presses you forward until your chest is flush with Joel’s, flattening you out before him. Joel doesn’t miss the opportunity to wrap his lips around yours again, kissing you sloppily, roving the wet heat of your mouth with his tongue, making you whimper as you begin riding him.

Dave spreads your cheeks apart and spits a globule of saliva at your puckered entrance, pressing two digits inside easily.

“Good thing you already loosened up that ass for me. You can take both of us, can’t you, sweetheart?” Dave murmurs and you simply nod, not wanting to tear your mouth away from Joel.

He lines himself up, placing the weeping slit of his head against your muscle as he begins pushing inward, inch by agonizing inch. Though you’re properly loosened up, there’s still a slight sting as your muscles contract and pulsate around him, stretching to accommodate his size.

You pant in hitched breaths, never having felt so full, so sated, before. It’s like they’re everywhere inside of you, consuming every inch of you like rabid jackals. Joel’s arms lacing around both you and Dave as both men begin to move independently within you.

You soon discover why they work so well as a team. Within minutes their movements are synchronized, a coordinated dance with you placed right in the middle, every downward thrust from Dave immediately proceeded by an upward lance from Joel. And they somehow manage to maintain said synchronicity for quite some time, even as they’re filling you to the brim with their cum.

They pump you full of themselves and you continue to drench them with every orgasm they drag out of you, your shared fluids sluicing down your bodies, soaking the cushions of the couch below.

It’s okay, you can just burn it if you actually end up surviving this. But hey, if you don’t, what a way to go, right?

Everything begins to meld together after a while, lines and vision blurred, your bodies practically stitched together at the seams, a perilous dance between the three of you in the throes of passion when the drug reaches its peak.

Their hands paw at you, knead you, your flesh supple and malleable under their large palms. They dig their fingers in, branding you, bruising marks left in their wake. Your head twists to and fro, tongue snaking between your teeth as you alternate between locking lips with both of them. You aren’t certain, but you think you see Joel and Dave link lips a few times as well, but it’s difficult to ascertain for sure, each scene of debauchery bleeding right into the next.

It goes on like that for hours, Dave and Joel occasionally switching roles, manipulating your overwrought body into a host of varying positions.

You have to stop a few times. For water, or just to take a break and a quick breather before you’re at it again, both men claiming your body like the primitive animals they are.

Dave has to call off his two remaining men when they practically try to beat down your door, understandably mystified and concerned, drinking in the vision laid out before them when Dave answers the door naked as the day he was born.

He sends them away when their motives shift and they make a sudden plea to join, letting them know in no uncertain terms that you are for him and Joel only.

You pout as you watch them leave, ever eager for more, but you don’t allow yourself to dwell on it, the three of you getting right back into the swing of things the moment they’re gone.

——

You must have shifted to the bedroom at some point during the night, as you rouse from sleep between two massive furnaces of men, a thin sheen of perspiration coating your still naked bodies.

You extricate yourself from the tangle of limbs and climb out from beneath them. You could easily put an end to them right now, if you were so inclined. But there’s something oddly endearing about the way they’re passed out in your bed, practically cuddling one another, Joel snoring like a chainsaw, that gives you pause. You’re amazed you were able to get any sleep at all with them in your bed.

You give them a final glance before you hastily make your way to the bathroom to clean up.

——

After your shower, you slip into a set of loose and comfortable sweats — a stark contrast from last night — tucking your pistol into the band of your sweatpants. You know, just in case.

You sweep up the remaining powder, making sure to wear proper PPE this time, salvaging as much of it as you can, should you ever need it again. As a weapon next time, you tell yourself.

Once done, you wander into the kitchen, chewing on two naproxen tablets before chugging what seems like a gallon of water to alleviate your dehydration and the various aches and pains riddling your body.

You’re starving so you put on a pot of coffee and whip up a simple breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast, enough to share. You plate the eggs and bacon on a platter and place them in the center of the table while you finish up the toast.

Your back is to Dave when he enters the kitchen. You feel the boards shift and you spin on the balls of your feet, drawing and raising your gun. You aren’t at all surprised when you find him doing the same — holding the same gun he fucked you with — dressed only in his boxers, your eyes locked, staring each other down in a deadly game of chicken.

“Easy now, kids. Thought ya worked out your differences last night,” Joel chides as he steps into the kitchen next to Dave, adjusting himself in his boxers.

You swallow, eyes blown wide, and you lower your gun first, even though you shouldn’t. After an uncomfortable beat, Dave does the same.

“We good?” you ask him.

“Yeah. Good.” Dave furrows his brow at you, unconvinced, but willing to play nice. For now.

“Smells great, sweetheart,” Joel says, seating himself at the table, helping himself to a plate.

You make a motion for Dave to sit.

“Could be poisoned,” he warns Joel, who flashes him and incredulous slant of his eyes.

“Fuck sake—“ you grit, scooping up a spoonful of eggs and shoving them into your mouth, canting your eyebrows at Dave as you inhale them. “Satisfied?”

Neither of them says a thing, but you catch a glimpse of Joel’s smirk below his mustache as he begins shoveling food into his mouth.

You finish preparing the toast and pour each of them a cup of coffee before serving yourself.

“Thanks,” Dave says, quietly, his eyes sliding down your body, tongue trailing his lips.

“You know, I don’t even know your names,” you say, glancing between the two men.

“Dave,” he replies. “And this is Joel.”

“Well, you already know my name. Nice to meet you, Dave and Joel,” you say.

Silence settles between the three of you while you eat, you seated between them, pouring more coffee when their cups inevitably empty.

You stay like that for a while, mulling over what to say next.

Dave is the first to break the silence.

“Thank you. For breakfast. And for…last night,” he says, averting his gaze.

You smirk.

“I’m not a bad person, you know.”

“Never said you were,” he responds.

“Just a name on a piece of paper.”

“That’s right. The infamous Datura.”

“I don’t kill indiscriminately like you do. I kill bad people. Corrupt politicians. Crooked cops. Genocidal maniacs.” You swallow down a swig of coffee. “But I guess I should have known better than to take out a senator’s son this time.”

“You know, we’re all putting our lives on the line, too, by not completing the contract,” Dave explains. “Should probably get the fuck out of dodge. Maybe you, too.”

His lips skew into a ghost of a smirk, eyes mapping the gentle slopes of your face.

“Yeah, I figured as much.”

“We might need an extra set of eyes, if that’s the case.”

You smile, leaning across the table, resting your chin in the bowl of your palm. Your eyes sparkle sweetly as they shift between Dave and Joel.

“Dave, are you offering me a job?”

His hand comes up to hook around the back of your neck, lips crashing into yours as his other hand grips and squeezes your hip, making you whine when his fingers graze one of many tender spots.

You hear a throaty chuckle rise from Joel next to you.

“Take it that’s a yes, darlin’.”

FIN.

#pedro pascal #writing #fanfic #romance #smut #author #pedro fanfic #dark romance #dave york #joel miller

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eff4freddie · 4 months ago

Text

After She Left | Eleven

Words: 5.5k

Ellie is struggling to get used to life with Shauna, and you hatch a plan to make things a little easier on her. You and Joel fumble towards a way forward, a way for you to both be in each other's lives about as much as either of you can bare.

Chapter warnings: We still in angst town, friends. These two are taking their sweet time but we are on a pathway to repair. Ellie is a delight but Shauna is a straight up arsehole. Crimes against baking.

Ten | Series Masterlist | Twelve

It felt like it took days for the hangover to pass, Jonah’s sweet offering of Tylenol only giving you respite for a few hours. You had no memory of Monday, although you were 98% sure it happened. Tuesday was a slight improvement. By Wednesday you were human again.

You sat on your couch, textbook open beside you, as Ellie sat, folded in half, in your armchair by the window. She held her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them. She’d been like this since she arrived.

‘So, Ecuador,’ you prompted, and she nodded.

‘Bordered by Colombia and Peru. Capital Quilto. Umm..big fight with the Spanish.’

‘Quito,’ you corrected, ‘and possibly bit more than a big fight.’ You wondered how you could explain colonisation to a child of the apocalypse.

You could see she was distracted, watching out the window as the street lay largely dormant.

‘Ellie?’ you prompted, and she finally looked at you, face almost totally blank. ‘Where are you today?’

She looked back down to her knees, a small smile. ‘I moved into the studio,’ she said, after a while, and you swallowed.

‘Is it nice having your own space?’ you asked, trying to rally, but your stomach was sinking for her. Something was wrong, it was plain as day on her face.

‘Don’t tell Joel,’ she said, and you held her gaze.

‘Ellie, if it’s bad I might have to,’ you said, and she shook her head.

‘It’s not bad, bad,’ she said, pausing for a second to consider things, ‘it’s just…sometimes I don’t sleep so good and…it’s like I hear things? I don’t know. I’m almost asleep and then I…’

‘Your mind plays tricks on you,’ you finished, because you knew all too well what she meant, all too clearly, all too sharply.

‘Yeah, except I don’t know if it’s my mind or if an infected has got over the wall…’

‘It’s pretty normal, Ellie. I don’t think anyone sleeps all that well anymore.’

‘But sometimes if I can hear Joel snoring in the other room…’ she trailed off, and you understood, then. The proximity. The security of it. You wondered about setting up some kind of tin can and string situation between the big house and hers. An apocalyptic baby monitor.

‘I remember when I first moved here, every time a tree branch scraped the window I was on the porch with my rifle.’

‘You have a rifle?’ Ellie asked, incredulous, and you couldn’t help but feel you suddenly gained a few cool points.

‘Had,’ you corrected. In your mind Rose sat on the other end of the couch beside you, nodding her head gently at you, reminding you when to stop, when to go on. ‘I got rid of it. It was better used for patrol.’

You knew lonely, quiet nights. You knew the clench of a stomach and what you could swear were footsteps outside your bedroom door in a house that was supposed to only have you in it. You knew the way the creak of an ancient windowpane could sound so close to the throaty whine of a clicker.

You knew wondering what the point of it all was. Wondering why anyone would bother struggling through just to maybe die a slightly less grizzly death than at the hands of a raider, or an infected.

You knew the temptation of it. The prospect of a gentle oblivion.

‘Dina thinks its cool,’ Ellie went on, and you snapped back to her.

‘It is cool, that’s true,’ you said. ‘Maybe she could stay over one night, have a slumber party.’

You saw the way Ellie’s cheeks went pink, and you had a little inkling as to why, and you said absolutely nothing about it.

‘You can’t go up to the big house?’ You prompted, changing the subject. ‘I can’t imagine Joel wouldn’t have a problem with it.’ You saw the way her face turned solemn again. ‘Just on the nights when the branches are scraping.’

‘I don’t know how to be around her,’ Ellie said. ‘They’ve known each other forever, it feels like. She’s just…they talk about stuff I don’t know anything about. The other day they were talking about…toll booths? I have no idea what that is.’

‘That must have been a fascinating conversation,’ you deadpanned, but it was lost on Ellie, who was still genuinely frustrated.

‘She doesn’t ask anything about me,’ Ellie said, and you could see the hurt painted all over her face. ‘It’s like she just…she’s not even trying.’

Your heart hurt for her, this sweet girl folding in on herself in your living room.

‘I reckon I have a plan,’ you said to Ellie, spurred on only by Rose at your side, giving you a grim, but determined, smile.

You could bake, you just didn’t really enjoy it. By the time you’d mixed everything to the exact right proportions, licked the bowl clean and then smelt it cooking you’d lost interest by the time it was done. You were an improviser; you liked the freedom of chucking in whatever in however much quantities and hoping for the best. You’d rarely given yourself food poisoning.

But this was important, so you called in reinforcements. Jonah had taken it well, considering he was now standing in your kitchen covered in twenty-year-old cocoa and almond meal.

‘I guess I should at least be grateful you’re not using flour,’ he said, grinning slyly at you, and you snickered.

‘Not for about twenty years’ you said.

‘Coming up on twenty-one,’ he mentioned, and you sighed.

‘We can finally drink,’ you joked.

‘Oh, I think we did plenty of that the other night.’

‘Please don’t remind me,’ you muttered. ‘I think I can still feel my surviving brain cells mourning their friends and loved ones.’

You watched as he cracked an egg into the mix, almost all shell. You tried not to put your Teacher Voice on when you asked him to fish the fragments out.

‘Calcium,’ he defended, and you rolled your eyes at him.

‘I’m not serving a crunchy cake.’

For a moment the two of you worked in a comfortable silence. He handed you the bowl to check he had gotten it all, and you went through it with the fork to skim out the smaller pieces.

‘I had fun the other night,’ he said, just straight up telling you what he was thinking and feeling. You steadied yourself before the shock set in.

‘Same,’ you smiled back at him. ‘From what I can remember, anyway.’

‘I really don’t normally drink that much,’ he defended, and you giggled.

‘Yeah, is that why you had the hangover recovery kit ready first thing?’ you asked. He looked at you, puzzled.

‘What? I…’

You heard the front door swing open and you called out to Ellie as she stomped down the hall.

‘Nearly ready, but we can’t ice it when it’s warm.’

‘You lick the bowl already?’ she asked. You held it out for her. ‘Fuck yeah!’ she said, almost running to snatch it from your hands. It took her almost a full minute, bowl held up almost to her nose, to notice Jonah. ‘Oh shit,’ she said, when she finally saw him. ‘Who’s this?’

Jonah stepped forward and introduced himself, shaking the hand not covered in cake batter. She took it, eying you the whole time.

‘Jonah is a better baker than me,’ you lied, ignoring that the two of them saw through you in an instant.

‘You patrol,’ Ellie said, and Jonah nodded. ‘I wanna do that. You ever take on umm…trainees?’

‘Ellie…’ you warned, but she ignored you.

‘Ah…when we get new recruits, sure, I show them the ropes. They’re usually a little older, though,’ Jonah said, diplomatically and with one eye on you. You nodded at him, grateful.

‘I’ve seen shit you wouldn’t believe,’ Ellie said, and on anyone else this would seem precocious, or even boastful, but on her you just knew it was true.

‘Ellie, Joel would gut us both if we let you out there,’ you said, pouring the mix into an ancient cake tin and hoping it would survive 45 minutes in the oven before it fully corroded.

‘You ever go to the water caves?’ she asked Jonah, ignoring you, and he smiled at her.

‘The what caves?’

‘Dina says there’s a waterfall about a half hour ride from here, maybe an hour if it’s muddy, and when you get in behind the water there’s a network of caves that go down at least a mile.’

‘Can’t say I’ve seen anything like that,’ he said. ‘We follow the river up, but we turn back once we hit the perimeter.’

‘So, it’s maybe a bit longer than an hour?’ she asked, and you watched as Jonah thought on his feet.

‘I mean, we patrol in six-hour shifts…three hours there, three hours back…’ he said, trying to work out how not to step on a landmine while discovering he’d been blindfolded and spun around three times. Ellie had that effect on people.

‘Ellie, it doesn’t sound like it exists,’ you said, which she ignored.

‘It definitely does, Dina says she saw it when she travelled to Jackson. I mean, the river’s…gotta start somewhere, right? It’s travelling down. It must be coming down from a mountain. It’s falling. Like in a waterfall.’

The sarcasm was so strong she reminded you of yourself at that age, and you made a mental note to apologise to your parents when you were finally reunited in the stars.

‘OK, enough,’ you concluded, dusting your hands on your pants. ‘You tell them I’ll be there at sundown.’

Ellie looked between you and Jonah.

‘Are you two gonna bang?’ she asked, and you felt yourself immediately flush.

‘Out, out, out,’ you muttered, pushing her almost playfully to the door. ‘Sundown, Ellie. Tell them.’

‘I’m going, I’m going…’ she grinned. ‘Just don’t get your junk in the cake, ya filthy animals.’

‘Jesus H. Christ,’ you stuttered, turning to Jonah, who held a tea towel up to his face to try and stifle his laughter.

Jonah hadn’t asked you why you were baking for them, and you were grateful for that. It would have been too hard to explain, and you weren’t sure how you would have anyway. You wanted to show Ellie off, maybe. Maybe you wanted to model how to talk to a teenager, as if you were some kind of expert. Maybe you wanted to just…see for yourself.

You stepped onto the porch, your breath coming in short and sharp. The cake was still too warm to ice by the time you lost patience and slathered the mix over it, and now most of it was sliding off and pooling down along the sides. You held it out in front you anyway, an offering to the Gods for peace. For something resembling sanity.

Joel opened the door before you’d even had a chance to knock, like he was waiting for you. He’d brushed his hair back, was wearing one of the cleaner plaid shirts he owned over dark jeans. He looked at you under saddled brows.

‘Hey there,’ he said, and you felt your stomach flip. For a moment you just stared at each other, cake cooling in the air between you.

‘I brought…’ you started, and then you stopped because he looked like he was going to say something, like he was going to step forward towards you maybe, but then at the last second chickened out.

‘No, sorry…’ he apologised for interrupting, just as you spoke to do the same. The two of you cut the other off, then smiled awkwardly at each other.

‘Looks delicious,’ he said, and you pushed it towards him.

‘It might be crunchy in some places,’ you said, and he smiled.

‘So am I,’ he said.

‘You’re here!’ a voice called, and Joel finally stepped aside from the door enough that you could step in. Shauna stood in the entryway; apron tied around her hips. ‘Oh, you sweet thing, that looks…so homey.’

You braved a smile. ‘Ellie supervised,’ you said, and you heard Joel stifle a chuckle.

‘Well...isn’t that something,’ Shauna said. ‘Come on in, anyway. Sorry about the mess.’

The house looked largely the same, except that Ellie’s general clutter had been removed. Maybe there was an extra blanket on the couch, but you couldn’t remember if it had always been there.

‘Gettin’ cold out,’ Joel said from behind you, and you turned to him. He still held the cake in his two hands. It was like he was paralysed, you realised. You went to take it from him and watched as his shoulders slumped a little in relief.

‘Ellie around?’ you asked, because for a moment you were terrified that she had bailed on you, knowing innately this would be awkward to the point of unbearable, and probably entirely futile.

‘Out back, I’ll call her in,’ Joel said, and you moved in front of him before he went.

‘Wait…’ you said, and then stopped, because you had no idea what you wanted to say other then that things felt incomplete, somehow. That tonight was about Ellie and trying to get her comfortable in her own home again. That it was about trying to start something new with him, maybe a friendship. You gazed up at him, hands shaking just enough to jiggle the congealing icing at the bottom of the plate, and he stared down at you, lips pursed and scorching from the last time you had kissed him there, and he knew, he knew all of it, understood exactly why you were doing it, thanked you for it if he was honest, as much as he hated that you had to.

He nodded at you, just once. You stepped back.

‘Should I set this down on the table?’ you called out to Shauna.

‘Oh, is it done?’ she called back, and you looked down at it. It was as done as it was going to get.

You sat beside Ellie at old oak dining room table you didn’t remember seeing before.

‘Isn’t it beautiful?’ Shauna said, smoothing her hands over the surface. ‘I told Joel we can’t always eat in the kitchen. Not when we have company.’

‘Found it out back, just needed a bit of oiling,’ Joel said, and you hummed in appreciation.

‘It’s beautiful wood,’ you said, nodding, watching Ellie push her green beans around on her plate. Shauna had, apparently, never met a clove of garlic she didn’t like. The upshot being your tastebuds were so scorched you couldn’t taste anything else.

‘You still workin’ the wall?’ Joel asked you, and you chanced a glance up at him. ‘I ain’t seen you on the weekends.’

‘You were on the wall the night I arrived,’ Shauna said as though just realising it, pointing her fork at you. ‘I remember that scared little face poking out at me now.’

You swallowed a piece of garlic with a side of bean and nodded. ‘I remember you were hurt,’ you said. ‘How you healing up?’

‘Joel looks after me so well,’ she said, smiling warmly at him while she watched you out of the corner of her eye. You heard Ellie mutter something under her breath.

‘I umm…I’ve been working on a new curriculum,’ you said to Joel, ignoring your teenage companion. ‘It’s been taking up a bit of my time, so I said to Billy not to put me on the roster for a while.’

Joel nodded at this, chewing thoughtfully. ‘That must be why he asked me to pick up an extra shift.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ you said, your stomach dropping. ‘I didn’t mean to make it harder for you, I can talk to him…’

‘Maybe I could give it a go,’ Shauna piped up, smiling.

‘You gotta be a good shot,’ Joel said quickly, and you watched as she deflated slightly.

‘I can talk to Billy,’ you said to him, and he waved you away.

‘Like to feel useful,’ he said, and he smiled at you, warmth in his eyes.

‘Ellie’s doing really good in school,’ you said to the whole table but directed almost entirely at Shauna. ‘She’s amazing at geography.’

Shauna snickered, then blushed when Joel turned to her. ‘Well, you have to wonder what for,’ she defended.

‘Knowledge is power,’ you said, watching Ellie slumping further into her chair. ‘She’s also a gifted reader, and she has an incredible imagination. Well beyond her years.’

‘Knock it off,’ Ellie said, quietly, and you nudged her, playfully. ‘She’s a pretty amazing young woman,’ you went on, turning back to Shauna. ‘Don’t you think?’

Shauna stared at you blankly for a moment. You wondered if she was really so cruel, or if she just didn’t know, just hadn’t ever thought to ask.

‘You been doin’ wonders for her,’ Joel said to you.

‘Just like hanging out with her, if I’m honest,’ you said, grinning at Ellie. She mustered a smile back at you.

‘Where’d you learn to shoot?’ Shauna asked you, spooning more potatoes onto Joel’s plate. He made room for them, frowning slightly.

‘Chicago QZ’, you said. ‘I was conscripted, I guess.’

‘Must have been young,’ Shauna appraised. ‘I was in Atlanta.’

‘You weren’t in Houston?’ you asked, still not sure of the timeline, but surprised she had ended up so far from Joel and Sarah.

‘No, I…I hadn’t been there a while.’

You hazarded a glance at Joel, who was staring at the tabletop.

‘Oh,’ you said, simply.

‘But I liked Atlanta,’ Shauna went on. ‘Until it fell, I mean. FEDRA there was…well, it was organised. They had a good structure.’

You could feel Ellie bristling beside you, almost quivering with something you supposed was a kind of fury. Maybe Shauna didn’t know about Boston, about Chicago, about Kansas. Maybe Atlanta had been different.

‘I ended up running their social program, actually,’ Shauna said, all lit up from the inside. ‘It was total disarray when I got there, but I started in early with a schedule, went around door to door inviting people to participate, that sort of thing.’

‘You in your FEDRA uniform at the time?’ Ellie asked, and you looked down at your plate. You’d seen a few of those social programs in Chicago. It had usually meant taking women from their kids and making them work the land for food, making men not strong enough to fight hammer boards over broken windows until their palms bled. Gardening club. Working bees. That sort of thing.

But maybe Atlanta was different. Maybe there you got the right amount of ration cards at the end of the day.

‘Why’d it fall then, if it was so great?’ Ellie asked, and you cleared your throat.

‘This is delicious, Shauna, thank you,’ you said, and she grinned at you.

‘I was never really that homey,’ she said, and you chanced another glance at Joel who was still staring down at his plate. ‘It’s like I’ve got another chance, here, y’know? Jackson really is just so amazing like that.’

At this she rested her hand in the crook of Joel’s arm, and without looking he reached over and placed his hand on hers. You felt the weight of their history in it, the automatic nature of it.

This whole fucking thing was a mistake, you realised. You weren’t sure why you thought it would be a good idea, why you thought you could do it. You still felt the way your belly flipped when Joel looked at you, still felt the way your fingers stretched towards his all of their own accord when he stood beside you. Ellie was right to fuck off to the studio out the back. Maybe if you asked real nice she’d let you go with her right now.

Out of the corner of your eye you could see Ellie watching you. You swallowed sour garlic over the back of your throat, taking a sip of water to give yourself a second to gather a thought or two.

‘What’re you gonna teach ‘em, then?’ Joel asked you. You looked up into his warm, chocolate eyes. You weren’t sure he’d even noticed his hand on Shauna’s, even then. ‘Ya done with the ocean creatures?’

You felt a smile creep across your face. ‘I am, and it was much easier with the visual aids.’ He grinned at you, then.

‘If it’s barn animals, I can help ya out,’ he said, and you laughed a little.

‘Reckon they know more than enough about barn animals,’ you said. A little crackle of something passed in the air between you.

‘What’s this?’ Shauna asked, and Joel finally realised she was hanging onto him, that he was holding onto her, when her grip tightened over his bicep. He moved quickly to extricate himself, his skin too hot where she had touched it. He looked over at you, wondering if you’d noticed. He took a quick sip of his water with slightly tremoring hands.

‘Joel helped me out a while back, made me some figures so I could teach the kids about the ocean.’

Shauna nodded at this, glancing between the two of you.

‘That’s cute,’ she said.

‘I was thinking, actually, that we might try a bit of Shakespeare.’

Joel sputtered, nearly coughing water onto the table.

‘Why on God’s green Earth would you do that to ‘em?’ he asked, smiling but incredulous all the same. ‘Ain’t they suffered enough?’

‘I’ll do one of the comedies,’ you defended, grinning at him, as he laughed out loud at this.

‘Ain’t nothin’ funny about any of that…stuff,’ Joel said, and you felt a little bubble of happiness expand in your chest. It had been a while since you’d heard his laugh, the tight little wheeze in it. It was higher than you had expected, and you’d been surprised the first time you’d heard it.

‘As You Like It is very funny,’ you defended.

‘As You Don’t Like It, more like,’ Joel grinned.

‘Clever,’ you ribbed back. ‘Never heard that one before.’

‘I never really got into Shakespeare,’ Shauna said, and you turned to her, nodding.

‘It’s not for everyone, I guess,’ you said. You had meant it honestly, you knew it wasn’t to everyone’s taste, but you watched as she narrowed her eyes at you.

‘I guess it depends on the quality of the teacher,’ she said. You felt the air shift into something sharper, something colder. You felt the heat on your cheeks drain away.

After a moment, Joel cleared his throat. ‘Well, I ain’t whittlin’ you a little man in tights, so forget that’ he said.

You didn’t feel like dessert, not as you felt Shauna’s cooking settling uneasily in your gut. Ellie was still quiet, but you were hoping that some sugar might pull her out of herself a little.

You stood from the table as Joel reached for your plate.

‘I’ll cut it,’ you said, heading off to the kitchen without thinking. You were surprised when Shauna grabbed your arm, pulling you, just a shade tighter than necessary, back into the room.

‘Let me,’ she said, and there was an edge to it, enough that you realised you’d overstepped. You knew that kitchen like the back of your hand, all the nights you’d spent at the table with Ellie and Joel discussing flower stamens and algebra and what chemistry you could remember but that no one would ever be able to correct if you were wrong.

‘Oh, of course,’ you said, stammering a little. You chanced a glance at Ellie who was watching you both, her mouth set grim in a line. You smiled brightly at her, mustering up warmth from somewhere you weren’t entirely sure existed anymore.

‘Forgot how to be a guest,’ you joked, sitting back down at the table. You felt the heat on your cheeks as Joel fussed around you, clearing the table by balancing all the plates on one arm and following Shauna out of the room. You wished it wasn’t so fucking attractive, the way things just balanced in his arms. A natural nurturer.

‘This is fucking torture,’ Ellie said quietly to you, and you snorted. For a second you considered trying to pretend everything was fine, that it was fun, but you didn’t have any inclination to lie to her anymore.

‘Nearly there,’ you said, after a while.

‘Do you see what I mean now?’ she asked, and you did, but you didn’t say it. Not the way Shauna looked through Ellie. Not the way she always watched Joel out of the corner of her eye.

‘We’ll wear her down,’ you assured her, feeling not even a little bit sure yourself.

‘Fuck that,’ Ellie said, and you nudged her with your shoulder.

‘Language,’ you said, feebly. She smiled weakly at you. ‘Maybe Dina can join us next time…’ you goaded, and you felt the tension lift a little as Ellie took the bait.

‘Shut urrrrrp,’ she said, and you giggled.

‘Maybe she can eat…some cake,’ you pushed, and Ellie laughed into her hand.

‘Oh my god you’re disgusting!’ she said, and you grinned at her.

‘Does she like garlic?’ you asked, and Ellie cackled, actually cackled, the happiness in it breaking out of her chest and splintering into shards of crystal above your heads. You heard them tinkle as they fell around you. If you lifted your hand you thought you could catch one, shimmering in the lamplight, in your palm.

In the doorway you watched as Joel emerged, cake in his hands, his face lit up at the sound. And before he could fully enter the room, before he could set the cake down in front of you and let Ellie cut the first slice, before he could warn her if she touched the bottom she’d have to kiss the nearest boy, Shauna appeared beside him, tripping over herself to push in front, tripping him as he stepped forward, knocking his hand with her arm, sending the cake in a perfect arc to the floor.

For a moment you all just stared at it, upturned on the ground and crumbling.

‘Oh shit,’ Ellie said, turning to you. You felt the pinpricks of heat at the back of your eyes, the downturn of your mouth.

‘Jesus, Shauna,’ Joel said, crouching down to try and salvage what was already gone. You watched him try to scrape the cake back together with his hands, just smearing it along the floorboards.

‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ she said, looking right at you, staring deep into your eyes.

You didn’t wait for them to give you your plate back, heading for the door the moment the icing had been wiped up. Ellie was suddenly keen to clear out and you shared her enthusiasm, the weight of the night suddenly resting heavy on the back of your neck, on your shoulders.

‘Lemme walk ya,’ Joel said, and you tried to protest but he was already at the door. You noticed a splatter of icing across his middle. You didn’t say anything.

‘I know the way,’ you said, trying to extricate yourself with the minimum amount of fuss.

‘It looked delicious,’ he said to you, and you swallowed.

‘It didn’t, but thank you,’ you said. ‘If it weren’t for Jonah, I’m not sure it would exist at all.’

You looked up at him, saw the hurt cross his face just for him to shuffle his features back again. He reached around behind you and pulled the door open.

‘C’mon, it’s cold out,’ he said. Over his shoulder you saw Shauna watching from the kitchen doorway. You gave her a quick little wave. It wasn’t returned.

Out on the street you willed your legs to push you hard towards your house.

‘M’sorry about the cake,’ Joel said, keeping up with you easily as you huffed your way to the corner. ‘M’sorry about the whole night,’ he said, and you nodded, tight and wanting him to leave you alone so you could lick your wounds in peace.

‘Just thought maybe if Shauna got to know Ellie a bit more, it wouldn’t be so awkward,’ you said, and he grunted his acknowledgement in return.

‘She adores ya, y’know?’ he asked, as you turned the corner. You could see your house, only meters away from where you stood. 20, maybe 30 steps before you could get inside.

‘Shauna’s missing out,’ you said, and Joel went quiet again, walking beside you as you arrived at your porch.

At your door, you turned to him.

‘Stop saying sorry,’ you said, plainly. Joel blinked at you.

‘I am sorry, though,’ he said, taking a step towards you as you held up a hand to stop him.

‘It doesn’t mean anything if you don’t do things different,’ you informed him, having spent several weeks now thinking about it.

You wondered if he’d tell you to fuck off, if he’d yell or gnash his teeth. He didn’t seem the sort, though, and definitely not now, not when he seemed so sad, so defeated.

‘Why’d you really come over tonight?’ he asked you, and you rolled your eyes at him.

‘Told you already, for Shauna to get to know El-’

‘-no, why, really?’ he asked, as your words caught in your throat. He stepped forward again, close enough to reach his hands to your jaw and pull you into him if he so desired.

You searched his eyes, found no cruelty there, found no malice.

‘I wanted to see you with her. To see for myself that it’s over,’ you said. You heard his sharp intake of breath, the little huff of hurt that he couldn’t name.

‘And did you?’ he asked, eyes boring into yours under saddled brows.

No, you wanted to say. No, all I saw was the warmth in your eyes and the light of you every time you laughed at my stupid jokes. I saw me and you sitting at the table with your daughter eating dinner in the middle of the week. I saw the way I want you, the way my skin sings for you.

‘I thought maybe we could be friends,’ you went on, ignoring his question. ‘For Ellie.’

You didn’t have it in you, knew that you were too far gone with him for it to be possible to be his friend, knew that this disastrous fucking night had proven that to you once and for all. Knew that once he was off your porch you wouldn’t step foot into his home again. Knew that you were cutting the tie that bound you to him, still, even after all these weeks. Knew that you should, knew that you would, if you could just get through the next minute with him.

You watched as his face fell, what colour the cold hadn’t taken from it draining from his cheeks. For a moment you thought he would just turn and go, tried to tell yourself you wanted him to.

‘S’that what you want, or what you think you should want, for Ellie?’ he asked.

‘Does it matter?’ you asked, shrugging. ‘That’s all I got for you, Joel. Take it or leave it.’

You started to turn away from him, reaching for your door. You felt his hand on your hip turning you back to him, pulling you into his arms. You gasped, inhaling his warmth and his scent.

‘I’ve taken so much from ya,’ he said, his voice thick. ‘You give it to me and I’ll have it, but I ain’t takin’ from ya no more.’

He rested his chin on the crown of your head for a moment and you closed your eyes, let it be for just a second that you were together, that he was dropping you off after a night tangled up in a booth at the Bison, let it be for a moment that he was really yours.

‘Let me go, Joel,’ you said, and you meant right then, and also, maybe, forever. He hesitated, but you felt his arms loosen.

‘So, friends…’ he said, and you nodded at him, acting braver than you felt. That had been what you wanted, wasn’t it? What tonight had been about, to try and find a new way forward with him, to try and make it better for Ellie. It would be better for her if you were on speaking terms. Would be easier for you both if you could see each other in the street without feeling your heart in your throat.

‘Friends,’ you said, lying to his beautiful face. You would get there, you decided. Just not tonight.

‘OK,’ he said, and you could see he didn’t believe you but that he had to, that there was no other option for either of you. He stepped forward again to hug you, to cement it somehow, but you moved faster.

You were on the other side of the door before you had enough time to second guess yourself, to pull him in with you and strip him down to the quick.

You listened for his footsteps heading down from your porch. Minutes passed before you heard his retreat.

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