#Jesus CHRIST what the fuck is going on with you!!!!

[succubusvalentine]

Simon Riley with a user who basically kidnaps herself. CW : Masturbation, mentions of oral

It started with the little things. You felt the hairs on the back of your neck raise more frequently. You heard heavy breathing and a slick sound at night coming from your slightly open window. A blank account following your public instagram account.

You then started seeing him. A tall burly man that seemed to always appear In the corner of your eye. You never saw his face because of the balaclava he wore. And that frustrated you.

Hell, if a guy is going to stalk you, the least he can do is not hide his face.

Eventually, you got sick of it. You let the brute of a man follow you home as usual. Let him watch you 'sleep' through your window while he fisted his cock. And then when he went home, you followed him.

You honestly thought he'd catch you. Feel you watching him. Following him home. But it seemed that his post orgasmic haze rendered him vulnerable.

You followed the man to a nice looking home. Not huge or anything, but It was cozy.

You then watched through a window as he drank a glass of whiskey, before walking through the home to his bedroom.

You quickly rushed to the bedroom window, glad the blinds weren't fully shut.

The man then sat down on his bed, pulling something from his bedside drawer-hey wait, are those your fucking panties you lost? Sneaky bastard. Those are your favourite.

And now he's fisting his cock again. Only this time, he's taken off that stupid balaclava to sniff them and-oh.

Oh.

Fuck, he's hot.

Those scars, the dirty blonde hair, the slightly crooked nose from being broken so many times, Jesus H Christ.

Yeah. To say you were thinking of this mans face between your thighs was an understatement. He might genuinely be one of the hottest men you've ever seen.

You quickly went home, going to the blank account that had followed you, and with a few clicks, you found the guys private instagram. Simon Riley. He's not the only person who's good at stalking.

You then found out that he was in the military. A Lieutenant. Seemed to be really private. No matter though, you already knew where he lived.

The following day, you took the day off work, and broke into Simon's home. Moving almost all of your stuff in. He wouldn't mind.

Then, when Simon walked into his house he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw you, sipping from one of his mugs, on his couch.

The woman he'd been stalking for nearly a year.

"I-what-what are you doing here?" He muttered, eyes wide as he took off his balaclava.

"You should have shown me your face earlier. I would have moved in ages ago" you shrugged.

"Moved in?" Simon almost squeaked.

⛧°. ⋆𓌹♰𓌺⋆. °⛧

before you all panic, yes. There will be a part two :p

[spirallingout]

School (negatively), working in a hospital, being forced to pray in school for over half my life.

Nobody wants that, believe me.

Wolfwalkers, Into the Spider-Verse and Puss in Boots: The Last Wish.

As the DM, I like to joke about my player's characters exploding when they displease me.

I genuinely cannot remember at this point.

No matter how milquetoast an opinion, there will always be at least one person who acts like you've broken the Geneva Conventions.

Going outside. I have agoraphobia.

Nope.

A dog bit me on the face when I was 2 and I only learnt about it a decade later.

Yes. Extremely.

Being around someone or someones who make you happy, safe and loved.

You're allowed to make mistakes. You aren't a bad person.

Working. Mostly.

Maybe try Youtubing?

Being safe.

I'm trans so there's a few things...

My friends, cats, talking about things I find interesting.

See, I'd love to believe in stuff like that but every time I try to dip my toes in these interests, I get bombarded by obvious grifters and the gullible.

I don't have one.

It's quieter and it's nice and dark. I have issues with bright lights.

Again, I kinda wish I could be but am completely put off by the sheer quantity of grifters who exploit things like this.

They're so much better than they think they are, talking to them is so much fun and the world would be a lesser place without them.

I'll never forgive them for what they did. They're a cruel person and they're lucky I didn't press charges.

Cutting off a bad friend. It hurt like hell and I wish things could have been different but it had to be done.

Autumn. It means summer's finally over.

Purple. I've always loved those darker colours.

MJ.

Books.

Cry mostly.

Seeing others happy. If I can make them smile or laugh myself, all the better.

Messy. As hell.

Jesus Christ so fucking many.

I try to write.

Unpleasant textures.

No.

It's somehow both?

I cheated on my french exam.

The Garden by The Crane Wives.

Maxor. His incorrect video game summaries are some of the funniest shit I have ever seen.

Nail biting. My parents tried to stop me. They did not succeed.

questions I think would be fun to be asked

what are 3 things you’d say shaped you into who you are?

show us a picture of your handwriting?

3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?

what’s an inside joke you have with your family or friends?

what made you start your blog?

what’s the best and worst part of being online/a creator?

what scares you the most and why?

any reacquiring dreams?

tell a story about your childhood

would you say you’re an emotional person?

what do you consider to be romance?

what’s some good advice you want to share?

what are you doing right now?

what’s something you’ve always wanted to do but maybe been to scared to do?

what do you think of when you hear the word “home”?

if you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

name 3 things that make you happy

do you believe in ghosts and/or aliens?

favourite thing about the day?

favourite things about the night?

are you a spiritual person?

say 3 things about someone you love

say 3 things about someone you hate

what’s one thing you’re proud of yourself for?

fave season and why?

fave colour and why?

any nicknames?

do you collect anything?

what do you do when you’re sad?

what’s one thing that never fails to make you happy/happier?

are you messy or organised?

how many tabs do you have open right now?

any hobbies?

any pet peeves?

do you trust easily?

are you an open book or do you have walls up?

share a secret

fave song at the moment?

youtuber you’ve been obsessed with and why?

any bad habits?

(this post was stolen from @teenage-mutant-ninja-freak, since it couldn't be reblogged anymore)

[xiaq]

Story time: Amazon can go fuck itself, and other genteel thoughts.

Good evening. I’m angry.

Up until now, I’ve purchased the majority of items I can’t thrift from Amazon because it’s easy and cost-effective, despite the moral qualms I have about the company. Previously, support was simple. If an item was damaged or a package didn’t arrive, you hopped on chat/the phone, provided proof, and they gave you a refund or return label.

But some shitstain from on high has introduced a new “incident report” process when something goes wrong. You submit your details, you wait 72 hours, and then they give you a refund. This would also be fine. If it fucking worked. But I have, at this point, irrefutable evidence that this is not actually how the process is intended to work. It’s meant to drive you so far up the wall that you either die from a stress-induced heart attack, or rage quit, and they get to keep your money.

In the last several months, I’ve had to submit three incident reports for damaged and undelivered items (I’m also encountering a lot more issues with item delivery, but that’s a different story).

ALL THREE TIMES, the process has taken weeks rather than days because ALL THREE TIMES they conveniently “had no record” of multiple incident reports I submitted despite the fact that I had confirmation emails each and every time.

Now, I’m a petty bitch, so even though the hours I was spending checking in, waiting on hold on the phone, being passed from agent to agent, was not worth the $10 and $20 refunds I was trying to get them to honor, I wasn’t going to give up. This last time, though. Oh they really tried.

So. My item isn’t delivered. I submit an incident report on the 12th and get my confirmation email of the submission on the 12th. I haven’t heard back by the 14th so I call and check. Shockingly, they have no record of my report. I submit another one, get another confirmation email. I call back the next day to check they received it. They have not. I beg them to let me forward the confirmation emails I have. I ask what else I can do different. They tell me to submit a new report and hang up on me. I submit another report. I receive another confirmation email. I call the next day. Can you guess? They have no record of it. This time, I ask for them to stay on the line with me while I submit a new report and confirm it’s been received. He confirms receipt and promises I will receive a response by the 21st. I record this conversation because I have a suspicion.

Hello. It is the 21st. Have I received a response? No. I call back. THIS ASSHOLE, who I’m pretty sure is reading this shit from a script, says, (are you ready for this) “There’s no record of an incident report, you’ll need to submit one.” I insist that I had confirmation in writing and verbally. She insists it does not exist.

So I tell her. I now have four confirmation emails. I have a recording of an Amazon support person with their credentials assuring me with the product number stated, that they’ve received my report. I also have been recording this conversation. And if she cannot assist me, I will be posting those emails and both recordings to every social media platform I have, filing a BBB complaint, and checking with my lawyer to see what options I have for legal action (do I have a lawyer? Of course not. But she doesn’t know that).

Immediately, she is backpedaling. “Oh, let me check again, maybe I missed it.” Less than 30 seconds later she’s back on the line. “I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding, I do have your report here. I will process a refund now.” Shocking. I am shocked.

IT SHOULD NOT TAKE THIS MUCH EFFORT TO GET A COMPANY TO HONOR THEIR PROMISED LEVEL OF SUPPORT.

Jesus Christ.

B and I will be finding different local places to purchase items we tend to buy via Amazon now, because I have every intention of ending our Prime membership. It looks like between Costco and Target we should be covered.

Anyway. No point to this except to rant. Thanks for reading if you got this far. I’m going to go lay under the weight of my dog and try to get my heart rate down.

[crimsonnsstuff]

Can you do something out of games like they are in outside world.

Dark hwang inho x maid reader. Where his eyes linger on his sweet maid longer than it should be. But she's not into him. If it's money she's saying no for he'll throw stack of money on her face. Forcing her to sleep with him. Non con

Clean and proper

Warnings: non con, p in v, reader only fucks In-ho for cash.

The whole day was a mess, scrubbing floors desperately for your daily paycheck. Being In-hos maid was a mess in general. He found you, sleeping on a mark bench and offered you the job. You had to except it, having no money. He was even offering you to stay there. You had to say yes.

Now here you were, in your room, changing out of your clothes. You were grateful that the uniform wasn’t so slutty. Tho, he did make you give him blowjobs here and there, but he paid you for it.

You bring your nose up to the clothes. The uniform smelled like food and cleaning products. You groan, throwing the uniform in the laundry hamper. You were gonna have to wash it tomorrow morning. You walk over to your dresser, opening one of the drawers. Your eyes land on the dress that In-house bought you. It was a dark green and it brought out your eyes.

He bought it for the dinner that he so desperately tried to take you out too. He had to pay you to go. You sigh and pick up your pajama set beside it. You lay it out on your bed. You hear a few soft knocks on the door, and In-ho walked in.You stood there, in the middle of the bedroom, in just your panties and bra. In-ho acted weirdly casual. “Hey,” he says softly, approaching carefully. “You didn’t come for another blowjob, did you?” You ask. His eyes narrow. “Don’t be a fucking brat. And no, I came for more than that.”

Your heart drops. More? There’s no way you would let that man fuck you. “I’m not letting you fuck me.” You growl, sitting down in the edge of your bed. “Jesus Christ, brat. I gave you a place to stay and a job. The least you could do is let me fuck you.” He groans. You open your mouth to say something. “Shut up. Just shut up.” He says, reaching into the pocket of his pants. He pulls out his wallet and opens it. He places a couple hundred dollar bills on one of your thighs, then a couple on the other. He puts his wallet pack in his pocket. “What do you say, hm?”

You sigh and pick up the cash, setting it on your nightstand. “Fine.” You mutter. He smirks, crawling over you. He leans down and presses kisses to your collar bone. You close your eyes, disgusted by the way you’re letting this man fuck you. He ruined your life. Maybe you were being dramatic, he did give you a place to stay after all. In-ho's hands roamed over your body, exploring, claiming. His mouth moved to your collar bone, to your boobs, igniting fires you didn't know you had within you. You squirm as he kisses down your stomach.

He pulls back, unbuckling his belt. He throws it to the side. He is quick to take his pants and boxers off. You recognized the boxers, you’ve washed them countless of times. He slowly unbuttons his shirt, revealing his toned chest to you.He is quick to rip your panties off, tearing them. “Hey! I like these!” You groan. “Shut up. I bought them. What makes you think I can’t buy you another pair?” He rubs his cock yo and down your folds, teasing you.

As he entered you, the line between reluctance and desire blurred. His rhythm was punishing yet intoxicating, each thrust a reminder of why you should never have agreed to this deal. Yet, with each movement, you felt yourself losing to the pleasure he was forcing upon you, the reality of his payment making it all the more complicated.You moan softly. You can’t believe this actually felt good. You can’t deny it, he was really attractive. Your back arches off the bed. Suddenly, he thrusts to deep and you yelp, pawing at his chest.

He is quick to pin your arms to the sides of your head, speeding up his thrusts. “You deserve a raise for how good this pussy is..” he grunts, hair sticking to his forehead.He lets go of your arms and grabs your legs, opening them up wider and getting reader to cum. He groans loudly as he cums deep inside you, and you squirt on his cock, coating his lower belly and thighs. He chuckles.

“Jesus Christ.” He slips out of you, walking to his discarded pants on the floor. “You earn another one hundred for that.” He says, placing a hundred dollar bill on your tummy.

[space-blue]

On a parrallel point......... Being Bipolar or being autistic doesn't excuse being a fucking Nazi on main. If you're sick and taking meds completely changes you (and ofc it's possible), then you can be excused later on, but that doesn't mean you should be tolerated.

Elon's sieg heil is but the very top layer of a very deep and multilayered shit cake of intollerable stuff he does, and he should be punished for all of it.

What's next? A mass murderer driving a truck into a crowd and getting off scott free because of their autism diagnostic?

You know that's not how it works. I'm not autistic myself but being ADHD-maxxed I have many autistic friends and SOMEHOW none of them have been nazis??? I'm offended on their behalf.

Like if Bezos starts doing holocaust denial next and people go "he has ADHD" I'm going to get violent.

"he has a mental condition" is like, a point of defense in your trial that mitigates your sentence, not a reason to not hold the trial for crimes committed jesus fucking christ.

“Elon didn’t mean to sieg heil, he’s just autistic”

Do you guys remember when Kanye said he was gonna go “death con” on all the Jews? Do you remember how his apologists said he was just off his bipolar meds? Do you remember that he doubled down, said he didn’t actually have bipolar, and he had been misdiagnosed by a Jew doctor? Do you remember he proceeded to meet with prominent white supremacists and told infowars he was a Nazi who loved Hitler?

Nobody ever believes the Jews the first time, even though our culture has spent literally thousands of years learning the warning signs. We know what we’re looking at. It’s two consecutive Nazi salutes on a white supremacist’s inauguration day. You can downplay it all you want, but this coal mine’s canary isn’t coming back to life.

[willowcrowned]

man it’s so weird that people are always at their most incompetent and deserving of ire when I have to wake up at 6:30 AM. surely this is a strange coincidence that is 100% their fault and not because I didn’t sleep enough

[spitblaze]

I guess Chilchuck has brought us right back to 'adults who are short are child-coded and if you like them you're a pedophile' discourse huh

[some-stars]

jesus christ, this is sickening. the ADL has spent a year and a half actively supporting a genocide and the violent suppression of dissenters and protesters, and we're going to give them the benefit of the doubt about their cowardly submission to literal nazis? when jewish voice for peace is out there fighting and being arrested and persecuted every single day, with vastly less economic and political power or safety at their disposal?

and i say 'submission' but frankly it's very clear at this point that the ADL has voluntarily and eagerly aligned itself with the far right and doesn't give a shit about preventing antisemitism or about Jews at all.

hell, even if they did, what the fuck good is an "advocate group" who actively does PR for a literal nazi? they didn't even refuse to condemn him! they stepped in to boost him! they're not advocating for shit!

you should all be unspeakably ashamed of yourselves, ESPECIALLY those of you who are my fellow Jews. i am sure as hell ashamed of you.

The ADL tweet about Elon Musk begins with the words “this is a delicate moment.”

To any goyim reading this- understand that is a literal cry for help. The ADL is telling all of us that they are walking on eggshells here.

Do not take the rest of their tweet at face value- take it in the context the ADL is giving you. The are fully aware of the problem of right wing antisemitism, but they do not believe they can call out Elon Musk without making things worse for themselves and for all American Jews. This is in part because a good portion of the left has been trying it’s hardest to discredit the ADL and alienate American Jews for the last few decades, and the rest of the left just kinda went with it.

They are telling us straight up- we are doing our best while stuck between a rock and a hard place.

[lucabyte]

Yeah, that about sums it up.

[feketeribizli]

she cut her hair 😔

[cozylittleartblog]

yeah like having to deal with the obnoxious middle aged women who thrift to resell wasn't bad enough, now we got the braindead fast fashion bozos cluttering things up too.

its ok shirt, i will love you like somebody else apparently couldn't even if you shed microplastics into the water supply and will fall apart after 7 wears. and then i'll sew you back together like anyone with two braincells to rub together Should

[lowpolyshadow]

forced to once again remember how shadow is laughing when he says "i think i figured out what the ultimate lifeform is! it might be you!"

[marisatomay]

“you don’t owe anyone anything” actually you owe everyone everything!!! you OWE your table server and your coworkers and the elderly person you pass on the street and the dog on its walk and the child toddling along in the park and the driver trying to merge next to you and the pregnant person standing on public transport KINDNESS in return for theirs!! the connections we build are what give life meaning!!!

[totheidiot]

i am on episode 9 in the dn jdrama and i have come to three conclusions about the people who made this drama: 1. they ship lawlight. an unhealthy amount. lawlight is their jam, the whole drama was created to have them together. 2. they think near is really neat :D like that is their boy !! their best friend near !! 3. they are so fucking in love with teru mikami, it's embarrassing.

[sunsetsover]

i know i'm late to the party and most of these points have probably been touched on already, but i said i would make a post about why kant safewording in episode 8 was so impactful and i am nothing if not a man of my word so here we are

(under the cut bc this got completely out of hand)

tbh i feel like i could write 10,000 words and i still wouldn't be able to fully articulate the way it completely turned me inside out when i first watched the ep, but i still wanted to pull this scene apart anyway bc as i said at the time, there were (and perhaps still are) people who think kant safewording in that moment was silly or out of place or whatever, and so for my own sanity i need to list all the reasons it was not only not stupid, but actually incredibly powerful for both kant and bison's characters and their relationship overall

bc think about the context. think about how shy bison had been when he had introduced the idea of a bdsm dynamic to kant, how he had admitted it's something he had wanted for a long time but never had the opportunity to actually have that with anyone. think about how reluctant he had been to actually hurt kant, and how enthusiastic and happy he was when kant told him he was into it too. how careful he was with kant, how thorough he was about consent (excluding the scene in his bedroom obv, considering he was drugged and couldn't consent nor dom properly). how insistent he was that they have a safeword despite kant's dismissiveness bc he knows how important it is that they're safe, and that they trust each other completely. to have it and to use it.

and then think about how gutting it must have been thinking about all of that in the context of a lie. a complete farce. this thing that bison wanted so badly, a thing he was so happy to finally have w someone, to trust someone with that part of him after a lifetime of keeping it inside. think about how vulnerable and exposed bison must have felt in the wake of that realisation, esp considering he doesn't have really any experience actually domming someone fr. how used he must have felt, knowing that this really deep and personal desire had been used as nothing more than a tool to manipulate you by someone you thought you were developing a genuine bond with. kant betraying bison is one thing - imo, it was the sheer depths that kant had seemingly gone to just to use him that was what really hurt bison (which in turn made him angry). like think abt it from bison's pov: why would kant make a point to project the northern lights all over the walls for him, sit and make all these plans together so that bison's dream come true? and why the hell would he go so far as to let bison dom him when bison had tried so hard to basically talk him out of it? that's not just betrayal. it's sadistic and it's cruel. it's like kant didn't just want bison arrested, but also to break him from within.

so that's the context. keep all of that in mind. and then think about kant, tied down, completely at bison's mercy. following bison's every instruction. taking all his abuse. and then think about him safewording. he could have said anything, could have done anything. but he chose to safeword. why? why that word? why right then?

well. the use of a safeword is obvious right? it's someone's way of telling their partner 'that's enough, i don't like this anymore'. and that is the very surface level of what kant was saying by safewording. but obv the context is very, very different here. and i think it goes back to the conversation that they had when they agreed on the safeword in ep 3: kant doesn't understand then the importance of what a safeword is and what it represents. he thinks he can just tell bison to stop and that he will, and bison is obviously like 'well no, that's not how it works'. he basically says to him 'how am i supposed to know you're not still enjoying it? how will i know you actually want me to stop? what if i get confused and hurt you more?' and kant says he gets it, and to a degree he obviously does, but i don't think he got the depth of what a safeword represented until it was tumbling out of his mouth on that beach.

bc as i said, a safeword is about trust. it's about two people (or more! but we're just talking abt these 2 rn) trusting the other that if this word is said, then everything stops. no ifs ands or buts. the sub obviously has to trust that the dom will stop if they safeword, but it's just as important that the dom trusts that the sub will safeword if they're unhappy with whatever's going on. the dom has to trust that the sub trusts them.

and so kant safewords. and yes he's saying 'i don't like this anymore, i want to stop'. but he's also saying 'i paid attention, i listened, i remembered. i know you meant it and i meant it too. what you told me was important to me. i value what is important to you. i didn't just dismiss it, i didn't just dismiss you. this was never just a tool. it was never fake to me. i never used this against you. i really am telling you the truth and here's the proof.' (which, for the record, is also what he was saying before the safeword when he was like 'i know you've never trusted anyone before, i still haven't forgotten our plans, i still want to go to iceland together' - it's all reassurance that he hasn't forgotten and that it wasn't fake, that he meant all of it and it's all important to him too). and he's also - maybe even more importantly - saying 'i trust you. i trust you to stop because i'm telling you stop. if you will listen to nothing else i say, i trust you to listen to this. i'm trusting you because this is important to you, and it's important to me. i trust you to keep me safe. i trust that that if i say this word, you won't hurt me anymore.'

which is exactly why one of the first things bison says to kant afterwards on the beach is 'you think i can't kill you, don't you?' because he knows. he knows exactly what kant using that word meant, what he was saying. it's why he froze, why he was so thoroughly devastated, why he briefly lost his shit then completely fell apart afterwards - because even though it was just one word, he heard everything behind that word, and what was underpinning all of it, which was basically kant saying this isn't over for me yet. i'm still in this relationship with you. i'm still yours and you're still mine. i still trust you. and though you might not trust me right now, i know you'll trust this.

(and that's also why he repeats it so many times imo. by saying it over and over, he's proving that it isn't just a desperate or panicked plea to get himself out of that situation - he says it again and again, making a point to look bison right in the eye each time, bc that's acknowledgement that he's well aware of what he's doing and saying by using their safeword, and he wants bison to know that too: this isn't an accident, this isn't a mistake, this isn't a last ditch effort to live. i'm saying this on purpose, because i know what it means for you and me both.)

which yeah, is kind of a kick in the guts if you're bison. he knew he couldn't hurt kant. he knew he wasn't angry the way he was pretending to be angry, because the hurt was just too visceral (which i'll expound on in a second). and here was kant basically sticking his fingers in a fresh wound. here was this man he shouldn't trust at all, telling bison that despite who bison was and after all things bison had done to him (deserved or not is irrelevant here), he still loves him - not just with words but proving it in a very tangible way. a way that was theirs and theirs alone.

that was what gutted me on my initial watch. i obviously didn't think about all of it consciously in that moment, but i still knew it was there. i still felt it, the same way bison did. kant safewording in that moment was never just about him saying 'stop, i don't like this, please stop hurting me' and bison knew it, which is why he reacted so strongly to it (and why i did too lmfao)

so that was my initial thoughts, but liz @ropebunnykant brought up a really interesting point that i hadn't considered at first which is that kant was also safewording for bison's sake. which, while it hadn't been my first thought, definitely wasn't the first time i've heard of something like that happening either - a sub safewording, not bc they necessarily need to, but bc they've noticed that their dom isn't enjoying it/isn't in the right headspace to continue etc. and when i went back i could see it so clearly, esp as kant started to repeat it.

bc what happens immediately before the safeword use? kant pushes, and bison says shut up. kant continues pushing, and bison keeps telling him to shut up. the back and forth of bison and kant's safeword discussion is once again so important to the context here - kant asking if he can just say bison's name to stop him, and bison telling him no, that they need a way to differentiate when 'stop' is just a word and when it's genuinely meant.

bison telling kant to shut up was his stop. and kant pushed, because he didn't realise it straight away, because he had so much to say and for the first time bison was listening, because sometimes stop doesn't mean stop. but at some point kant realised that this stop did. and what did bison teach him to do when he really needs to stop?

and so kant safewords.

i do think kant could have kept playing that game for as long as he needed to. as long as bison was angry, kant would have stayed chained up like a dog. he didn't have to - he proved he could easily get out of his restraints in their very next scene. he could have asked the caretaker to help him get away. but he didn't. he chose to stay. maybe he wasn't on the boat, but at that point kant was a willing participant in what was happening, he was consenting. why? bc kant deserved punishment. bc bison deserves to punish him. bc to him staying there is it's own kind of proof. bc if bison's angry then he's still talking, and if he's talking there's hope. apathy is what was going to kill kant and he knew it - if bison's angry, that means he still cares.

but then we get that shot of kant's pov, of bison staring down w the gun pointed at him, barrel shaking, tears in his eyes. and it's not fun anymore. neither of them are gaining anything from this. bison's anger has finally given way to hurt, to heartbreak - kant knows in that moment that bison isn't getting any kind of satisfaction out of making kant squirm, and likely never was. which literally goes back to the core of a dom/sub relationship, doesn't it? you engage in that kind of dynamic bc both parties are getting something out of it. kant was getting the flagellation he thought he deserved after what he'd done to bison, the punishment he wanted (and to a degree needed) as payment for his wrongdoing and the sense of absolution that provided him. bison got the satisfaction of providing that punishment, of letting out that anger, of making kant hurt for what he did - or so kant thought. bc the reality is that bison wasn't getting any satisfaction out of punishing kant. no matter what he said or did, no matter how he hurt or degraded him, none of it made him feel better. and kant hadn't noticed that until that moment (which i think he can be forgiven for, given everything that he was going through). but then he does notice.

bison wasn't getting anything out of the hurt he was inflicting, and was inflicting pain upon himself in the process. and if one of them is not getting anything out of it - if one of them is actively hurting themselves in a way that doesn't feel good - then they need to stop. someone needs to safeword. kant knows this. and so he safewords - not so bison doesn't kill him, as some people have said, but to stop bison from hurting himself any further.

and so kant safewords immediately. retracts the consent that perhaps bison hadn't even realise he'd given willingly. he ends the game. he uses his safeword just like bison taught him to, bc it matters and he trusts him and he loves him. that hasn't changed, not even like this. and he repeats it so many times for that very reason.

and believe it or not, i feel like there is still so much more to it i could pick apart even beyond this. bc god there are just so many layers!!!! like there's fear in it too, bc as much as kant is unconcerned abt the gun and is sure that bison won't hurt him, he's still human. some degree of fear is normal. i also think kant sensed an opening in bison's defenses that he wanted to get at just so that bison would just listen to him - bison wasn't really in the headspace to listen to anything before then, which is exactly why kant hadn't really tried to explain himself properly. it would've been pointless. and as much as he loves bison, kant is still kant - he still knows how to work people. i also think kant was tired and hungry and emotionally exhausted and while i do think he would've played along for as long as he had to, i think he also needed bison's anger and attention to fuel him. faced w nothing but his sadness, he lost all steam. kant's own sadness and overall feeling shitty probably hit him full force in that moment too, and he didn't have the strength not to fold under it. and so he safeworded.

however, if i start picking apart all of that i really will end up writing 10,000 words and no one really wants that, least of all me. but the point that i really want to make is that kant safewording in that moment was never really abt him not wanting to die. it was about care and it was about trust. it was about acknowledgement. most of all it was about love. and we'd all be doing the story and these characters a disservice to simply go 'hehe he safeworded out of murder' while not also addressing what it really was! which was kant acknowledging their bond, showing bison care in the only way he could while telling him he loves and trusts him all at once!! it was him claiming ownership of the ownership bison has of him!! he said penguin bc there was literally nothing else he could have possibly said in that moment that would have had the depth and significance than that one little word did!!! he said more with that one word than he could have said with a thousand other ones!!! and it drives me crazy whenever i think about it for more than 5 seconds at a time!!! thank u for coming to my ted talk!!

[justablah56]

ummmmm thinking about VR LA and Maxim again guys . thinking about maxim overthinking and probably doing way too much internal self reflection in a very self deprecating kind of way and VR LA being . VR LA who is just completely oblivious to everything and genuinely believes he just likes maxim as a friend . and Maxim has been pining for the last like . 5 years . and is just like oh well I guess this is my life now . clearly I have been rejected because I have been so obvious (not really but it's incredibly obvious for maxim) and he has not responded . I will simply wallow in the corner for a while before accepting the fact that I am simply doomed to never be loved . at least he doesn't seem to be pushing me away and we can still be friends . how agonizing it is to have him so close but knowing he doesn't want me in return . but alas , better than not having him at all .

meanwhile VR LA is like omg yayyy I can't wait to go hang out with maxim my prettiest friend maxim <3 I'm so glad that me and maxim are such good friends ! it's kinda different from being best friends with dani and the crew for some reason idk... but he's just as important to me as them and I care about him a lot 😊 we are such good intellectual equals friends 😊

and then someone grabs VR LA and stares directly into his eyes and tells him explicitly that he's in love with Maxim and he's like O H H !!!! SHIT YOURE RIGHT- I GOTTA TELL HIM RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!