#Jenny is still out there and she was called the doctor's daughter by the episode title

[discododging]

You've heard of "Ruby is Susan's mom" and you've heard of "Susan is Ruby's mom"

Now get ready for MY batshit theory that I don't even fully believe but am putting online just in case: Ruby IS Susan and her mom is Jenny

[squid-in-the-tardis]

Back in October 2019, Nick Briggs (exec producer at Big Finish) confirmed and denied a bunch of things that they were planning at Big Finish.

Of course... 6 months later a lot of plans changed. I made a post about the original stuff back in the day, so lets see how much of it came to fruition!

Things that were "Definitely happening"

"A new series of Dalek Empire" - well, they made Dalek Universe! But.... that has the doctor, and it doesn't have the dalek empire vibe, which is all about what happens when the doctor isn't around to stop a dalek invasion. So no this hasn't happened.

"Charlotte Pollard Series 3" - No - Still delayed, still not released. But Charlotte has been in a couple of recent things, so its possible they've recorded it recently!

"UNIT" - ah yes, at the time the UNIT series had concluded with no news of if it was going to continue - it was in limbo, and peeps were concerned it was cancelled. After 2019, it came back for a storyline called "Nemesis", so yes this came back. Now that Nemesis is over, we are yet again in a limbo where we don't know if the series will continue.

"1st Doctor Adventures" - yes! We got more of these, now with Noonan in the role!

"3rd Doctor Adventures" - yes these are still being made

"Further Adventures of Lucie Miller" - No - nothing since the last set in July of 2019.

"Missy" - yes, series 2 and 3 were released and series 4 is coming out next year.

"Lost Stories" - yes, miraculously they somehow found more unfinished stories to turn into audio dramas.

"Eighth Doctor Adventures: Stranded" - yes, and 2019 was before the first ep of stranded came out but oh boy were there troubles for this series. The first 4 episodes were recorded before the pandemic, and then the remainder had to be delayed and shifted around in the schedule a lot. But they did release it!

"Classic Doctors, New Monsters" - yes, two new boxsets.

So 7 out of 10 of the Definitely Happening announcements came to fruition.

Things that were planned

"Both Alex Macqueen and Derek Jacobi as the Master" - yes, the war master series with Jacobi is still going on, but Macqueen has only appeared once: in 2021 with the boxset "Masterful"

"Narvin" - yes, has appeared in 2023's Gallifrey box set.

"Matt Smith knows that he can approach [...] to do stories [with Big Finish]" - Woops... This isn't really a planned thing, it's just a statement. Matt Smith has not joined the audio dramas yet.

"3rd Doctor Adventures with Liz Shaw" - yes this happened in a couple of the recent 3das.

"Jago appearances" - yes Jago has appeared in a couple of things, like the Paternoster Gang series.

"Jenny (the Doctor's Daughter)" - yes she came back for another boxset.

"Rose [Tyler]" - yes there's been 2 more boxsets with Rose.

"Davros" - yes he's come back a few times.

"Torchwood Series 7" - yes. This is referring to "The Story Continues", the audio continuation of Torchwood, with seasons set after the show. Series 5 was "Aliens Among Us" from 2017, Series 6 was "God Among Us" from 2018, and Series 7 was "Among Us" and finally came out in 2023. I'm not sure if they're planning to make a Series 8, I'm not really on the pulse of Torchwood - let me know!

"Re-arranging the Monthly Adventures" - yes. This is the one that fascinates me the most! Because at the time of my original post, we still didn't know what they meant by this. I remember at the time people mourning the Monthly Adventures (or "Main Range" as it was originally known), as that was how they got into the audios in the first place. I think the changes they made are much better - instead of having the 5th, 6th, and 7th doctors crammed into one range, they each have their own sections on the site. And all the Doctors feel on the same level now, and it's easier to get into. Plus: you can now just pre-order a single doctor's releases in a bundle, if you only want that doctor's stuff.

"Subscriber Short Trips" - Sort of. This is an interesting one, because with the end of the monthly adventures there aren't any subscriptions anymore. So the Subscriber Short Trips specifically are gone. Replacing them is something much more interesting in my opinion: the first boxset for each of the 5th, 6th, and 7th doctors each year has included a bonus 1 hour audiobook. I like this system because it makes it possible to get these audio books without having to specifically subscribe to a specific period of monthly audio books - with the subscriber short trips, you could only get them by subscribing! You couldn't get them by just buying something! Plus, I've liked the audio books I've heard so far.

"Constance Clarke" - Yes, she appeared in a few of the last Monthly Adventures before the range stopped, and also in the special boxset "The Eleven". She hasn't been seen for a while, though, as the 6th Doctor now has Hebe Harrison as a new companion, so they're focusing on her story arc.

"Vicki, Steven, and Dodo joining the First Doctor range" - Mostly - Dodo is the main companion in the recent 1das, Vicki is coming back in this month's boxset (January 2024), but Steven hasn't made an appearance yet.

So 10 out of 12 planned things did happen, with the other 2 being mostly as planned.

Things they had no plans to do

"A torchwood + cybermen story" - Nope.

"Class Volume 3" - Yes, they've done volumes 3 AND 4.

"Iris Wildthyme" - Sort of, she's been in some audiobooks but not in any proper dramas.

"Sarah Jane Adventures characters" - Yes, in the recent "Rani Takes on the World" series from 2023.

"Ace and Benny together" - No, I don't believe so.

"Raine" - Nope.

"David Tennant" - Yes he was in a lot of things over the pandemic.

"Multi-meddling monk story" - Yes, this happened in Missy series 3 in "Two Monks, One Mistress".

"The Rani" - No, as previously noted the Rani is still stuck in a tangle of Rights issues.

"Clara and (Lady) Me series" - Nope - was noted as a great idea back in 2019, but I'm sure that the actors are busy with other things.

"Frobisher" - Sadly no.

"Graceless" - Yes - the series didn't come back, but the main characters came back in "The Fifth Doctor Adventures: Wicked Sisters".

"Romana III" - Nope.

"Novel Adaptions" - No. This is one of the things that is very weird: fans vocally want more adaptions of the VNA novels from the 90s, and Big Finish want to make them. But.... Nick Briggs has said that they don't sell for some reason, despite being one of the most commonly asked for series. I doubt this will come back at all.

"New Series Lost Stories" - Nope.

"Shalka Doctor" - Nope.

"Mel and Glitz" - No, and sadly the actor for Glitz passed away in 2021, which makes this unlikely.

So 5 out of 17 things they had no plans for actually did end up happening.

Things they said Will Not Happen

"Lungbarrow adaption" - No of course not lol.

"Anniversary boxsets for 3rd/5th Doctor/the Master/etc" - Sort of - at the time, Nick said "Almost every year is an anniversary of something or someone now". But since then we've had an anniversary boxset for the Master, as well as a semi-special boxset for the 40th anniversary of the 5th doctor (albeit this was just a normal release that was a bit anniversary-like)

So one sort of out of 2 definitely not happening things.

Things they said "Just Imagine..."

(which means "we're not going to answer that right now for marketing reasons")

"More unbound" - Yes, the Doctor of War boxsets which came out in 2022.

"Marc Cory (from Mission to the Unknown)" - No, but the elements of Mission to the Unknown appeared in Dalek Universe (which is probably why they didn't talk about it).

"Eric Roberts and John Simm as The Master" - Yes! Roberts has his own little series called "Master!", and both of them showed up in the "Masterful" boxset in 2021. It was heavily implied in behind the scenes stuff that Simm is not planning to show up ever again, so that may be the only time we get a Simm audio.

"Class Series 2" - Sort of. This is referring to continuing the story of Class from after the end of the TV show, which they originally couldn't do for rights reasons. The 2023 drama "Secret Diary of a Rhodian Prince" was set after the TV show, but is so far the only episode to do so.

"More incarnations of the Master" - Yes, Milo Parker played the Master in "Masterful", but nothing otherwise.

"Lady Christina Volume 2" - Yes.

"New Earth Volume 2" - No.

"The Nine/Eleven/Twelve/more incarncations of the character" - Yes, in fact this character has appeared very frequently over the last few years and I'm starting to get sick of them.

"Delta and the Bannermen sequel" - No? I'm not sure what this was referring to, but neither Delta nor the Bannermen have returned.

"Jo meeting Missy" - Yes, this happened in "Masterful".

So 6 out of these 10 happened.

"I'll look into that"

"Availability of The Veiled Leopard and Sarah Jane Smith: Comeback" - Comeback is now available on the website, after many years out of print. The Veiled Leopard is not available on the big finish site in general, I think there's some complex issues there. They occasionally make it available for free as a bonus special thing for a special occasion, and you can also listen to it on their soundcloud page.

"Limited Edition Vinyls on the website" - When they did vinyls for the 9das, those were available on the website, so this did end up happening.

And that's it! Interesting to see how much changed (and how much didn't) between October 2019 and now.

[kitkatt0430]

I've got this OC that I've never actually written about yet, mainly because the fanfic I intended him for was never written in the end and probably won't be and I haven't found someplace new for him yet. He's for Doctor Who and I, personally, think he's adorable so I'm gonna share about him, the poor OC who remains homeless (fic-deprived baby).

So first, a bit of backstory. I came up with this character many, many years ago during Eleven's era. Originally intended to interact with the Tenth Doctor and an AU version of the Master, but mostly Jenny (the Doctor's Daughter, not Vastra's wife). So this character I think came before things like Clara the Souffle obsessed Dalek (though she inspired a completely different fic idea that's never been written) and definitely before that one episode where they pulled off a Jules Verne novel inside Dalek armor to let the one good Dalek be a good Dalek which apparently just means this Dalek kills other Daleks.

You may notice a focus on Daleks.

Fred the Dalek. Named by Jenny. Occasionally called Freddie. He doesn't like killing and enjoys pretty things. Terrified of ducks - they wanna crack open his shell and eat him like calamari, he's absolutely certain of it. And the Master agreeing that ducks probably would eat him does not help.

His genetics come from the last of the original Kaled DNA still in stock during the Time War, but due to an error during the cloning process to create him, he's got slightly more unmutated Kaled DNA in him than the average Dalek. Not by a lot, but enough that he's wired differently and the standard dalek brainwashing didn't take as a result. He fled the Time War and eventually settled on a colony world where Humans, Silurians, and Reptilia Sapiens have settled peacefully. Uncertain as to whether the colonists would recognize what he was, the Dalek who would soon be known as Fred hid in the forests and was harassed by the local duck population (transported there by the colonists to be one of the species introduced as part of the planet's terraforming process) who had absolutely zero instinctive fear of the dalek.

There were also geese but he couldn't tell the difference, those were just oversized ducks that honk as far as he's concerned.

When Jenny arrives on planet, soon after leaving her own point of origin world behind in search of adventure and, eventually, her dad, there is of course trouble afoot in the colony and the Dalek is being blamed for it. A red herring and deliberate bit of misdirection from the true culprit.

Jenny befriends the Dalek, entirely unfamiliar with Dalek kind. While the Dalek freaks out because TIME LADY!!! O_O But Jenny isn't going to let the Dalek be blamed for something he didn't do and winds up earning his trust. She names him Fred because that seems like a nice, non-threatening name and definitely not because I'm naming him after the character from Scooby-Doo or anything like that. The two of them solve the mystery, yank the ghost sheet off the real perpetrator... metaphorically... and the colony is saved.

But Fred knows he can't really live there hidden away peacefully anymore and he winds up leaving with Jenny where they move on to their next adventure.

The Master would tend to treat Fred as Jenny's pet, to Jenny's annoyance. The Doctor would absolutely be trying not to have a panic attack when he realizes his daughter's bestie is a Dalek. Upon meeting both the Doctor and the Master for the first time (on separate occasions) Fred attempted to hide behind Jenny both times. Considering he is a sentient, sapient octopus wearing a giant pepper shaker shaped tank and Jenny is fairly slender, this is not an ideal hiding spot for him.

[go-to-the-mirror]

Rating: General Audiences

Archive Warning: Major Character Death

Category: Gen

Fandom: Doctor Who (2005)

Relationship: Tenth Doctor & Jenny (Doctor Who: The Doctor's Daughter)

Character: Tenth Doctor (Doctor Who)

Additional Tags: Whumptober, Whumptober 2023, Grief/Mourning, Episode: s04e06 The Doctor's Daughter, Post-Episode: s04e06 The Doctor's Daughter, Father-Daughter Relationship, Spoilers for Episode: s04e17-18 The End of Time, POV Second Person, POV Tenth Doctor, Tenth Doctor Angst, Tenth Doctor & Jenny (Doctor Who: The Doctor's Daughter) Relationship Study, Relationship Study, Tenth Doctor Character Study, Character Study

Language: English

Published: 2023-10-21

Words: 593

Chapters: 1/1

Summary:

This is your daughter. She is blonde and she is pretty and she is bouncy and she is unafraid to kill. She is a soldier more than she is your daughter. She’s a lot like you in that regard. --- Written for Whumptober 2023, day 21. Prompt used is vows.

This is your daughter. She is blonde and she is pretty and she is bouncy and she is unafraid to kill. She is a soldier more than she is your daughter.

She’s a lot like you in that regard.

And you don’t want to acknowledge that, so you pretend you’re nothing alike. She hasn’t looked into the Untempered Schism, she hasn’t fought in a war that ripped the universe apart, she hasn’t suffered and lived and found her own sort of beauty in the universe.

You’ve never been a very good Time Lord, but even compared to you, she falls short.

She’s just an anomaly, she’s just been created to fight and die.

She calls you a soldier and you bristle at that, but it makes sense. You’re not the Doctor. She’s not your daughter. You’re just two soldiers stuck in a cell.

And Donna’s there, and she wants to show you that your daughter is your daughter and two hearts don’t make a Time Lord, that steady one-two-three-four heartbeat doesn’t make a Time Lord, but she’s a soldier and so are you and so was the Master and so was everyone on Gallifrey, and the High Council wanted to kill the universe and they didn’t fight and die on the front lines, but they were killers all the same, so maybe she is your daughter, and you’re still just soldiers in a cell together.

This isn’t what Donna wanted to achieve, you know that much.

This is your daughter. She has a gun and she’s ready to kill and you’ve already given up on her before you hear the gunshots, but when they come it still makes you ache because this is your daughter and she is a killer and you kind of hate her because of who she is to you.

And then your daughter, your beautiful, resourceful daughter runs back into the room and says she found a way to not kill them and you’ve never been more proud because she is your daughter and she is infinitely better than you, because she can fight in a war and her hands will stay clean and she still earns her name. Jenny. Your daughter. Your Jenny. And you’re her father, her Doctor, and she hugs you and you hug her back, and she’s so excited, and so are you, and you’re going to take her to see the universe. You and her. The Doctor and his daughter. Travelling the stars.

Imagine her. Imagine your daughter stepping out of the TARDIS onto an alien planet. Imagine your daughter finding the beauty in the cosmos. Imagine your daughter learning to fly your TARDIS. Imagine you and your daughter running for your lives, and saving planets, and seeing the most fantastic things, but not alone. Never alone again.

And so, when you find the Source, you’re stupid enough to think her war is over. You stand before these two groups and you hope, because you’ve always hoped when you shouldn’t, and you don’t realise that one of them is trying to shoot you before Jenny is on the ground, and you know, you know,   that she’s not going to make it, but you ignore that, because she has two hearts, she’s a Time Lord, she’s your daughter, and maybe she’ll live, even though you know she’s just bleeding out faster than a human would.

“Disappointment?”

“No. Never.”

You promised you’d take her with you. You promised. And you’ve always been a liar, haven’t you?

You show Donna something new. It feels sort of pointless.

[everlarkficexchange]

the song of my heart (plays in you)

Written by: @thelettersfromnoone

Prompt 108: Everlark fall for one another over a blood transfusion. It happens not once, but twice. His blood runs through her veins, and now hers runs through his. What are the odds they would save each other’s lives? [submitted by @mandelion82]

Rated: Teen and up; mentions of: car wrecks, physical and mental trauma, amputation.

Tags: One-shot, Soulmates, Time Jump(s), Blood-Oaths.

Word count: 2342.

Notes: Unbetaed. All mistakes are my own. Thanks to @javistg and @xerxia31 for being amazing hosts for this exchange ❤️

“The blood [of the covenant] is thicker than [the] water [of the womb].”

“Mama, tell the story again?” Grey eyes peek up shyly through dark eyelashes, fingers curling the folds of her mother’s nightgown. “ ‘bout the dream-people?”

“It’s late, darlin’,” Mama murmurs with a soft smile. She presses a kiss to her daughter’s brow. “Papa will tell the long version tomorrow, hm?”

The girl’s lower lip pops out in a pout- papa is the better storyteller, but she wants to hear the story tonight. She snuggles against her mama’s belly, whispering a ‘night-night’ to the baby they say is growing in there.

“There once was a boy who was called to war, to fight for a king in a land far from home. Though he survived many times in battle, one day, an enemy struck him, and he was hurt, something terrible. At death’s door, his friends brought him to a healer’s house, who saved his life. As he recovered, he grew to love the healer’s daughter, and she grew to love him. In time, when he was recovered, his king came calling on him again. Before he left, the boy and the healer’s daughter made a blood-oath. They drew their own blood, and held their wounds against one another. They vowed that, from that moment until they met again, the song of their blood would call out for one another, no matter how far.”

Her little hand reaches over to mama’s, pressing their palms flush. “Like this?”

“Mhm,” Mama interlaces their fingers, kissing her daughter’s knuckles. “Just like this. Every night, while he was away, all they needed to do was close their eyes, and they could feel one another’s feelings, and see through one another’s eyes.”

“Till forever?” The little girl’s eyes are growing heavy, a yawn coming in spite of her best efforts. “Mama, it’s til’ forever, right?”

Mama doesn’t answer straight away. When she does, it’s soft as a butterfly’s flight; “Till forever, until they found each other again.”

The little girl’s breathing evens out, eyes slipping shut. 

(She’s always wanting a happy ending.)

She’s twelve and using the computer unsupervised the first time she looks it up on a whim. She is meant to be researching poetry, but that quickly becomes dull. 

Instead, the rabbit hole of the web sucks her in.

According to the internet page that comes up, a Blood-Oath Soulmate is defined as a myth, steeped in legend: a couple who, when faced with separation, make a blood-oath that allows them to see, hear, and feel one another across the thousands of miles. 

The origin, exactly, is unclear. It’s a myth with several cultural variants- in her own region, Twelve, and in the northern regions of Åtta, Tio, and Tretton, the war is won, and the boy returns to the healer’s daughter. By contrast, in the southwest, they say the boy earned a glorious warrior’s death, and the girl grieves but honors his memory. In almost all the other regions, the myth is drawn out, many side-adventures and evils hinder the boy’s path home, and by the time the boy finds his way back to his love, amidst a continent of misery, they both are old and grey. It’s not clear where the myth started, some say it’s a retelling of an old Sumerian tale; others, that it comes from Viking oral lore. Some, still, argue that they all are true, that the same fate spreads itself throughout time, throughout the world, in different ways. 

All modern experts, essentially, concur on the matter of the story’s implausibility. The human body replenishes its blood count within weeks, one discussion board points out.

It was just a myth to make humans feel their love could be impermeable, or withstand the tests of distance and challenges, claims another. Or, one user with a profane avatar states, the modern meaning is just guess-work and the cultural context and any kernels of truth will forever be lost.

And everyone knows there’s no such thing as a soulmate.

Kat feels her stomach clench as she quickly exits the browser, lonely in the wake of her father’s death, and her mother’s subsequent depressive episode, and still clinging to her mother’s hushed telling of a love that is palpable down to the bone.

(She can’t decide if knowing it’s ‘just a story’ hurts or helps more. The veneer of childhood is always treasured for a reason.)

She is seventeen when it happens. 

A flash of a medical room. Harsh fluorescent lights. Thick, strong hands trying to block the light out. Starched sheets, scratching skin. A pinch of a needle and stifled shout- 

She wakes covered in sweat. 

Something is wrong, niggles at the back of her mind. Her pounding heart beats out wrong, wrong, wrong. She pushes it away, presses the thought down. She manages to lull herself back to sleep, a deep, imageless thing, but the wrongness sticks with her. 

The next night is nearly identical, except the stranger’s hands are tearing off the bedsheets. A stump of a knee rests where a leg should extend. A panicking voice, a nurse, shouts for help as the struggling and screaming begins-

“Where’s my fucking leg?!”

Kat wakes with a jolt, strangled gasps as she pushes her own blankets off, hands grasping at her limbs, the phantom terror and horror bringing bile up her throat. 

What was that?

A dreamless sleep doesn’t find her again, her eyes bruising with nights of nightmares and days of exhaustion. The hospital, the scratchy sheets, the nurses and medications and injections. 

One week, then another.

She’s in Civics class when it occurs to her. 

The blood drive, at the beginning of May. She’d turned seventeen, and finally weighed enough to donate blood.

Could it be…?

She sleeps in, one Saturday morning, when they are fitting a prosthetic on her stranger; crutches and halting steps as those beefy hands grip support bars.

“Just a step further,” a voice encourages. 

Shame and frustration, and a deep, croaking voice lashes out of the throat-

“I can’t!”

You can, you can, you can, she tries to will the stranger her confidence.

The figure stills, and for a moment, she thinks they can hear her. 

“I’m done,” they say, and in spite of the disappointment on the nurse’s face, a man in a white lab coat agrees, and helps them back into a wheelchair.

Kat feels the sinking failure, the desperate yearning to help this person, this stranger. There are only nurses and doctors, in her dreams. She knows what it means to be lonely, even when there are people around; what it means when you wake up in emotional pain, but have no one to share it with.

She wants to tell her stranger it will all be all right, but the weeks pass and she can only confide her secret to herself. They wouldn’t believe her, even if she could say it in person.

Where is your family? she tries to ask.

They never seem to hear her.

(Waking becomes harder, but she can’t confide in anyone that she wakes wishing she could live in her dreams without them thinking she’s gone mad.)

They are kneading dough, seated at a wood table in a cluttered kitchen. The prosthetic is fitting to the leg, tender today but not sore, exactly. She can smell the flour and feel the silky-smooth texture between her fingers. Smoothe jazz music is playing, from a radio over on the counter. She feels a hand squeezing her stranger’s shoulder.

“Looks good, Pete.” It’s a gruff voice, but not unkind.

“Needs to rise,” her stranger- ‘Pete’!- retorts. They don’t look up, but she can feel a flush on her ‘Pete’s’ cheeks.

“We got some coursework from the school, then.”

(She doesn’t realize this is the last she will dream of her stranger.)

The dreams evaporate, after eight weeks, as abruptly as they had begun.

In the aftermath of her first dreamless night in over a month, she wakes to the dawn breaking with no images from her stranger. 

‘Pete’. 

She tries to will herself back to sleep, compel visions back from the brink. It’s the first night she thinks to try and remember the names of the doctors and nurses, or the location of the hospital. The nametags are foggy in her memories, a nurse Jackie or Jenny and a last name they had abbreviated to, ‘A.’ 

The internet doesn’t help her any more than her own mind can. ‘An amputee named ‘Pete’ who likes to knead dough and is doing high school coursework at home’ doesn’t do much in a White Pages search. 

She writes it all down, then, each snippet and sound she can recall. She keeps the journal under her mattress, knowing her mother won’t bother, and her baby sister wouldn’t dare to look. 

Like a madwoman, she rereads her own accounts, adds notes to it every morning, hoping the dreams will start again. But every morning, the dreams seem more as if they were fantasies, and her journal reads like fiction.

A year passes. 

Her dreams now are either blank, or memories of ‘Pete’.

She could blame it on her family friend, and his stupid insistance that she attend Prom; or maybe the girlfriends she eats lunch with, who guilt her by saying that everyone needs a life outside of school, and after-school jobs.

Kat had only driven into town because she needed a damn dress. Two weeks later, and she would have been exhausted from Prom as she crossed the school stage, collecting her high school diploma.

Nothing pans out the way she imagines it will, though.

She’s alone in the car when a truck in the oncoming lane overturns at a curve in the road.

Pain bursts on her head. Flames against her skin. Crushed metal, and broken glass. In the distant fog of wailing sirens, she can hear first responders attempting to call out to her. 

The only thing she remembers seeing clearly, between the accident and the hospital, is smoke rising into a blue, cloudless sky, through a shattered windshield.

“You lost a lot of blood, Kat,” the doctor says, tone not unsympathetic. “We had to do a transfusion.”

“Oh.”

She blinks, a haze of morphling in her preventing her from fully comprehending. Some broken bones. A neck brace. Burns on her face and arms, but not as bad as they first had thought- she won’t need skin grafts.

All small mercies.

Her sister and mama are there, balloons and flowers and hugs a-plenty. Get-well-soon cards from several classmates and family friends.

“You’re lucky to be alive,” her mama murmurs, as the doctor leaves.

“Okay.”

Mama runs her fingers through Kat’s knotted hair, while her sister clings and tells her how much she loves her.

She’s not numb, not beneath the morphling. But she’s so damn tired and her skin itches under the bandages. 

(She can’t comfort her family while they try their hand at comforting her.)

She is washing her hands in the hospital room sink, when she feels a jolt, a compulsion; a chill down her spine and gooseflesh down her arms. She looks in the mirror, and feels in awe, feels a foreign elation. A burst of affection, a warmth. 

She can’t reckon with it, can’t justify it. 

It’s just… her own face. Sloppily braided dark hair. Healing stitches on her cheek, and forehead. Silver eyes, surrounded by a bruise, set in a narrow face. She gulps, leaning in closer, and trying to grasp the sensation. Out-of-body, might be the right term- dissociative, she’d read about once, for Health and Wellness. 

There’s a knock on her door, the nurse doing a check, and as Kat turns, the warmth dissipates.

The nurse comes in not long after, checks her vitals and asks a series of questions.

“My name is Katniss Everdeen.”

That warmth in her chest is back, the hair at the base of her neck stands straight.

She scrubs her hands over her face, focusing on the simple questions the nurse is asking.

“I’m eighteen years old. I’m graduating from PPH12 in Sommen in one week. I’m at Merchant Memorial Hospital.”

In the bathroom that night, she stares at her own reflection, and wonders if maybe that feeling of someone looking over her shoulder- more like looking through her eyes- if maybe….

She fogs up the mirror, and writes her room number. She stares at it, for a time, before scoffing at own ridiculousness, and wiping it away with her towel.

She only has one day left before being discharged, though she’ll miss graduation and the parties that would entail. She can’t say she is particularly disappointed; she’s never been a party person.

She’s awake when the door to her shared hospital room opens. She pays it little mind. The curtain around her bed is pulled taught, her roommate jabbering away on their phone about the food service as if this were fine dining, rather than a hospital. Kat is reading a get well card, this one signed by the whole senior class and class advisors.

There’s a thrumming in her veins, but that might be them weaning her off of the morphling.

Curtain rings scrape against metal, and she barely glances up, the nurse rounds due any minute now. Normally, though, the bubbly nurse who does the day-shift is already bustling with an overwhelming enthusiasm that makes Kat question how exhausted the nurse is at the end of the day.

Maybe it’s a different nurse or a doctor or mama, or- 

The blue eyes that are boring into hers are ones she has only seen in her dreams; she can finally see blonde curls framing them, familiar thick, strong hands brushing through the curls. 

“Pete?” she croaks, certain she’s finally lost her damn mind.

His eyes widen at the sound of his name, lips parting. 

“I found you.” 

A tone of surprise, as if he’d driven all this way, but in expectation of disappointment.

“Peeta,” he introduces himself, edging closer. His hand carefully takes hold of her own. “And… I’ve waited a long time to meet you, Katniss.”

(Her name has never been spoken as sweetly, and her heart has never felt so full.)

[thefishimgllama]

This family tree is mine and Kight Maiden's version of the Donald Duck family tree

Now let me explain somethings about our tree

Ok first off it dose have Sir Roast Sir swamphole Sir stuft seafoam malcolm "matey" Sir Quackly and Sir Eider McDuck and Bo'sn are in the tree but there timeline is a little confusing

And Quagmire is still Dirty Dingus Brother But there wasn't room and we might make a separate tree for the McDucks starting with Dirty Dingus and go back frome there

Second here's all the characters and there birth year (and explanation why we choose it)

Huey Dewey and Louie: 2006 cuz it's set in 2017 and 11 years before 2017 is 2006

Donald and Della: 1981 because they're 36

The boys dad: because why not make him a year older then della

Daisy: same reason with the boys's dad . Why make not make her a year younger

Hortenes: we made it to where downy had her after she was cursed so that's why she is a lot younger than Scrooge

Quackmore: mainly because I like him being young then Hortenes because you don't really see that alot

Matilda: we liked her being the youngest out of the siblings

Scrooge: since you seen him in a comic when he was a kid and the comic took place in 1877 we just went ahead and used that and made his birth year 1867 and said he was 10 in that comic

Goldie: we like the idea of Goldie being born in that year and how we make it to where she is technically immortal and she was cursed and encased in gold and after she freed herself from the gold the curse was never broken and and she got an amulet that made her stop aging completely (or whatever was the cause of her immortality in the show)

Dawson: when she was a baby she was encased in gold with her mom and after Goldie got out of the gold she couldn't get her daughter out of it so she had to leave her that's why she's technically was over 100 years old (obviously not her real name but we think it fits her)

Dickies dad: we just like it for him

Dickie: we just like that year for her because we wanted to make her technically an adult

Ludwig: the sole reason we made him born that year is because of what gyro said in the final episode

Daphne: we don't really have a reason besides wanting her and her brothers be close in age

Goostave: he just seemed like he would be older that them

Gladstone: we just wanted to make him a year younger than the twins because he seems like he would be

Eider: we wanted to make him and Quackmore Irish twins (which means they were within 12 months of each other)

Lulubelle: we just like the idea of her being two years younger than her husband

Abner/Whitewater: we may or may not wanted him to be an accident

Mary: we just like the idea of her being six years younger than Abner

Fethry: we just like the of him being the second youngest cousin

Dungan: we just thought it was a good year

Gloria: we just like her being older and Fethry would have had a crush on her when he was younger

Elvira: we just felt like it fit

Humperdinck: just felt like it fit

Casey: we liked him being 9 years older than his sister

Gretchen: we liked her being 5 years younger than her husband

Fanny: we just liked it

Luke: same as his wife

Gus:it just seemed right to make him the oldest out of the cousins

Cuthbert: we just like it

Kildare:we liked him being the youngest out of the cousins

Furgus/Old Scotty: we wanted him to be in between

Jake: we just wanted him to be the middle child also side note we wanted him to get called "high society Jack " as a nickname so he wouldn't be the only brother with out a nickname

Angus: he just seemed like he would be the oldest brother

Molly: we just felt like it was a good age specifically for the time she was in

Dirty Dingus: we just like the age for him

Downy O'Drake: we just liked her ages as the youngest of the O' Drake sisters

Rumpus: we wanted him to be older than Scrooge because he is the son of his dad and his mom's oldest sister

Missy: we just wanted her to be fairly older than Downy

Griseldis : we just felt it was a good age for her being the second oldest sister

Vera: we liked it was her being the second youngest sister but still being a little older then downy

Duckson: we like the age for him

Jenny/Jee: we like her age being this

Clinton: we like like being this age for him and we wanted to make him be a lot older than you would think because he was cursed by a treasure that he stumbled upon

Gertrude: we made her an Amazonian woman so we wanted to make it to where she lived a long time

Cornelius: we like it and we felt like it fit pretty well with the timeline

Erasmus: he is one of cornelius's brother in a few things we liked him and decided on him being the oldest brother

Johannes: we like him being the second oldest brother

Jeanne: we based her off Jeanne de clisson and we made her johannes' wife because he was technically murdered by pirates and we felt like that age fit her

Cornelia's Father: we just like the age

Cornelia: we wanted to make her a lot older than what she technically is in that one comic that she was shown in because we wanted to make her one of the first women to be considered a doctor but she worked in duckburg when it first was made

Long story short it's just a lot of we felt like it fit and immortality curses.

[invisibleicewands]

Staged's Anna Lundberg and Georgia Tennant: 'Scenes with all four of us usually involved alcohol'

Not many primetime TV hits are filmed by the show’s stars inside their own homes. However, 2020 wasn’t your average year. During the pandemic, productions were shut down and workarounds had to be found – otherwise the terrestrial schedules would have begun to look worryingly empty. Staged was the surprise comedy hit of the summer.

This playfully meta short-form sitcom, airing in snack-sized 15-minute episodes, found A-list actors Michael Sheen and David Tennant playing an exaggerated version of themselves, bickering and bantering as they tried to perfect a performance of Luigi Pirandello’s Six Characters in Search of an Author over Zoom.

Having bonded while co-starring in Good Omens, Amazon’s TV adaptation of Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett’s novel, Sheen, 51, and Tennant, 49, became best buddies in real life. In Staged, though, they’re comedically reframed as frenemies – warm, matey and collaborative, but with a cut-throat competitiveness lurking just below the surface. As they grew ever more hirsute and slobbish in lockdown, their virtual relationship became increasingly fraught.

It was soapily addictive and hilariously thespy, while giving a voyeuristic glimpse of their interior decor and domestic lives – with all the action viewed through their webcams.

Yet it was the supporting cast who lifted Staged to greatness,Their director Simon Evans, forced to dance around the pair’s fragile egos and piggy-in-the-middle of their feuds. Steely producer Jo, played by Nina Sosanya, forever breaking off from calls to bellow at her poor, put-upon PA. And especially the leading men’s long-suffering partners, both actors in real life, Georgia Tennant and Anna Lundberg.

Georgia Tennant comes from showbiz stock, as the child of Peter Davison and Sandra Dickinson. At 36 she is an experienced actor and producer, who made her TV debut in Peak Practice aged 15. She met David on Doctor Who 2008, when she played the Timelord’s cloned daughter Jenny. Meanwhile, the Swedish Lundberg, 26, is at the start of her career. She left drama school in New York two years ago and Staged is her first big on-screen role.

Married for nine years, the Tennants have five children and live in west London. The Lundberg-Sheens have been together two years, have a baby daughter, Lyra, and live outside Port Talbot in south Wales. On screen and in real life, the women have become firm friends and frequent scene-stealers.

Staged proved so successful that it’s now back for a second series. We set up a video call with Tennant and Lundberg to discuss lockdown life, wine consumption, home schooling (those two may be related) and the blurry line between fact and fiction…

Was doing Staged a big decision, because it’s so personal and set in your homes? Georgia Tennant: We’d always been a very private couple. Staged was everything we’d never normally say yes to. Suddenly, our entire house is on TV and so is a version of the relationship we’d always kept private. But that’s the way to do it, I guess. Go to the other extreme. Just rip off the Band-Aid.

Anna Lundberg: Michael decided pretty quickly that we weren’t going to move around the house at all. All you see is the fireplace in our kitchen.

GT: We have five children, so it was just about which room was available.

AL: But it’s not the real us. It’s not a documentary.

GT: Although some people think it is.

Which fictional parts of the show do people mistake for reality? GT: People think I’m really a novelist because “Georgia” writes a novel in Staged. They’ve asked where they can buy my book. I should probably just write one now because I’ve done the marketing already.

AL: People worry about our elderly neighbour, who gets hospitalised in the show. She doesn’t actually exist in real life but people have approached Michael in Tesco’s, asking if she’s OK.

Michael and David squabble about who’s billed first in Staged. Does that reflect real life? AL: With Good Omens, Michael’s name was first for the US market and David’s was first for the British market. So those scenes riffed on that.

Should we call you Georgia and Anna, or Anna and Georgia? GT: Either. We’re super-laidback about these things.

AL: Unlike certain people.

How well did you know each other before Staged? GT: We barely knew each other. We’ve now forged a friendship by working on the show together.

AL: We’d met once, for about 20 minutes. We were both pregnant at the time – we had babies a month apart – so that was pretty much all we talked about.

Did you tidy up before filming? AL: We just had to keep one corner relatively tidy.

GT: I’m quite a tidy person, but I didn’t want to be one of those annoying Instagram people with perfect lives. So strangely, I had to add a bit of mess… dot a few toys around in the background. I didn’t want to be one of those insufferable people – even though, inherently, I am one of those people.

Was there much photobombing by children or pets? AL: In the first series, Lyra was still at an age where we could put her in a baby bouncer. Now that’s not working at all. She’s just everywhere. Me and Michael don’t have many scenes together in series two, because one of us is usually Lyra-wrangling.

GT: Our children aren’t remotely interested. They’re so unimpressed by us. There’s one scene where Doris, our five-year-old, comes in to fetch her iPad. She doesn’t even bother to glance at what we’re doing.

How was lockdown for you both? AL: I feel bad saying it, but it was actually good for us. We were lucky enough to be in a big house with a garden. For the first time since we met, we were in one place. We could just focus on Lyra . To see her grow over six months was incredible. She helped us keep a steady routine, too.

GT: Ours was similar. We never spend huge chunks of time together, so it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. At least until David’s career goes to shit and he’s just sat at home. The flipside was the bleakness. Being in London, there were harrowing days when everything was silent but you’d just hear sirens going past, as a reminder that something awful was going on. So I veered between “This is wonderful” and “This is the worst thing that ever happened.”

And then there was home schooling… GT: Which was genuinely the worst thing that ever happened.

You’ve spent a lot of time on video calls, clearly. What are your top Zooming tips? GT: Raise your camera to eye level by balancing your laptop on a stack of books. And invest in a ring light.

AL: That’s why you look so much better. We just have our sad kitchen light overhead, which makes us look like one massive shiny forehead.

GT: Also, always have a good mug on the go [raises her cuppa to the camera and it’s a Michael Sheen mug]. Someone pranked David on the job he’s shooting at the moment by putting a Michael Sheen mug in his trailer. He brought it home and now I use it every morning. I’m magically drawn to drinking out of Michael.

There’s a running gag in series one about the copious empties in Michael’s recycling. Did you lean into lockdown boozing in real life? AL: Not really. We eased off when I was pregnant and after Lyra was born. We’d just have a glass of wine with dinner.

GT: Yes, definitely. I often reach for a glass of red in the show, which was basically just an excuse to continue drinking while we were filming: “I think my character would have wine and cake in this scene.” The time we started drinking would creep slightly earlier. “We’ve finished home schooling, it’s only 4pm, but hey…” We’ve scaled it back to just weekends now.

How did you go about creating your characters with the writer Simon Evans? AL: He based the dynamic between David and Michael on a podcast they did together. Our characters evolved as we went along.

GT: I was really kind and understanding in the first draft. I was like “I don’t want to play this, it’s no fun.” From the first few tweaks I made, Simon caught onto the vibe, took that and ran with it.

Did you struggle to keep a straight face at times? AL: Yes, especially the scenes with all four of us, when David and Michael start improvising.

GT: I was just drunk, so I have no recollection.

AL: Scenes with all four of us were normally filmed in the evening, because that’s when we could be child-free. Usually there was alcohol involved, which is a lot more fun.

GT: There’s a long scene in series two where we’re having a drink. During each take, we had to finish the glass. By the end, we were all properly gone. I was rewatching it yesterday and I was so pissed.

What else can you tell us about series two? GT: Everyone’s in limbo. Just as we think things are getting back to normal, we have to take three steps back again. Everyone’s dealing with that differently, shall we say.

AL: In series one, we were all in the same situation. By series two, we’re at different stages and in different emotional places.

GT: Hollywood comes calling, but things are never as simple as they seem.

There were some surprise big-name cameos in series one, with Samuel L Jackson and Dame Judi Dench suddenly Zooming in. Who can we expect this time around? AL: We can’t name names, but they’re very exciting.

GT: Because series one did so well, and there’s such goodwill towards the show, we’ve managed to get some extraordinary people involved. This show came from playing around just to pass the time in lockdown. It felt like a GCSE end-of-term project. So suddenly, when someone says: “Samuel L Jackson’s in”, it’s like: “What the fuck’s just happened?”

AL: It took things to the next level, which was a bit scary.

GT: It suddenly felt like: “Some people might actually watch this.”

How are David and Michael’s hair and beard situations this time? AL: We were in a toyshop the other day and Lyra walked up to these Harry Potter figurines, pointed at Hagrid and said: “Daddy!” So that explains where we’re at. After eight months of lockdown, it was quite full-on.

GT: David had a bob at one point. Turns out he’s got annoyingly excellent hair. Quite jealous. He’s also grown a slightly unpleasant moustache.

Is David still wearing his stinky hoodie? GT: I bought him that as a gift. It’s actually Paul Smith loungewear. In lockdown, he was living in it. It’s pretty classy, but he does manage to make it look quite shit.

[thelittlesttimelord]

The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 19

TITLE: The Littlest Timelord: The Fall of the Eleventh Chapter 19 PAIRING: No Pairing RATING: T CHAPTER: 19/? SUMMARY: Elise Smith is now a teenaged Timelord. In addition to losing the Ponds, the fields of Trenzalore are calling. But first they have to figure out exactly who Clara Oswald is.

[A/N - I spent all morning finishing this episode! You are not ready.]

The phone attached to the console started ringing.

The Doctor answered it. “Yes? What? I'm trying to read. That's always pointless. What did she say? Well? Well?”

Whatever Madame Vastra said got the Doctor’s attention, because Elise could see it on his face. He took off his glasses and stared at them. He hung up and grabbed his jacket.

“Where are we going?” Elise asked.

“You, are not going anywhere.”

“What?”

“You’re going to wait in the carriage.”

“You know, if I had known you were going to keep me locked up, I would’ve left with River.” But Elise was bluffing. She could have never left the Doctor. He was all she knew.

The Doctor grabbed a deerstalker hat and took her by the arm, leading her to Madame Vastra’s.

Strax took them to the Institute and true to his word, the Doctor locked the carriage behind him. He’d even taken her sonic screwdriver from her so she couldn’t get out.

Elise crossed her arms over her chest and sulked in her seat. She knew why he was doing this. For the same reason he’d told her to stay by the TARDIS that day in the graveyard. He didn’t want to lose her, but he was starting to irritate her.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The Doctor walked around the edge of the pond, sonicing it. He’d still not returned Elise’s screwdriver to her, which Elise didn’t appreciate. “Body frozen in a pond. The snow gets a good long look at a human being, like a full body scan. Everything they need to evolve. A pond. Good point, Clara.”

He turned around and saw Strax holding an alien weapon. “What are you doing here?”

“Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades?”

“Grenades?”

“She might have said help.”

“Help for what?”

“Well, your investigation.”

“Investigation? Who says I'm investigating? Do you think I'm going to start investigating just because some bird smiles at me? Who do you think I am?”

Strax smirked. “Sherlock Holmes.”

Elise let out a high pitched giggle, shocking herself. This was the first time she’d laughed since losing Amy and Rory.

“Don't be clever, Strax. It doesn't suit you.”

“Sorry, sir.”

“I'm the clever one, you're the potato one.” The Doctor poked him between the eyes.

“Yes, sir.”

“Now go away.”

“Yes, Mr. Holmes.” Strax chuckled at his own joke as he walked away.

“Oi! Shut up. You're not clever or funny and you've got tiny little legs!” The Doctor turned around and saw Clara watching them from a window. She waved and he waved back.

Clara gestured for them to come up.

The Doctor spun around, talking to himself. “Okay, just tell her you're leaving, you're not going up. Leaving. Not going up.” He spun back around and showed her five fingers and a thumbs up.

Clara closed the curtains and the Doctor smacked himself in the head. “What was that about? Five minutes, where did that come from?”

Elise found herself smiling as they walked towards the house.

“What?” the Doctor asked.

“Nothing.” Meeting Clara was the best thing to happen to her since arriving in Victorian England.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Clara and the children ran into the next room.

“What do we do?” Digby asked.

“Franny, Franny, imagine her melting,” Clara told her.

“What?”

“In your head. Melt her.”

“I can't!”

“I'm getting impatient!” the ice woman shrieked.

The door burst open.

“You have been very naughty!”

“What about the man? You said the man was here, the cloud man and his daughter!” Digby cried.

“Well, he's not, is he?” Clara said.

“Where's the Doctor?”

“I don't know!”

A puppet popped up and said, “Doctor? Doctor? Doctor who?” The puppet soniced the ice woman, who shattered. The Doctor stood up. “That's the way to do it.”

Elise rolled her eyes and stood up, going over to Clara and the children. “Are you alright?” Elise asked.

“We’re fine. Thank you,” Clara said.

Elise smiled. At least someone was happy to have her around.

The Doctor walked over to the rug and soniced the wet spot.

“Where did she go? Will she come back?” Franny asked.

“No, don't worry. She's currently draining through your carpet,” the Doctor told them, “New setting. Anti-freeze. And you're very welcome, by the way.”

“I'm very grateful. I knew you'd come,” Clara said.

“No, you didn't, because I don't. Because this isn't the sort of thing I do any more.” He whipped off his scarf as he stepped in front of the mirror. “Next time you're in trouble, don't expect me to… Sorry, it's just. Didn't know I'd put it on.”

Elise smiled, seeing his straighten the bow tie, like his old self would have done. She hadn’t said anything when he put it on because it seemed like he was returning to the Doctor she knew. Ice was forming on the windows.

“Old habits.”

“It's cooler,” Clara said, noticing the change in the temperature.

The Doctor smirked. “Yeah, it is, isn't it? It is very cool. Bow ties are cool.”

“No, the room. The room's getting colder.”

Something was forming under the carpet.

“She's coming back!” Digby cried.

“What's she going to do? Is she going to punish me?” Franny asked.

The Doctor tried sonicing her. “Er, er, she's learnt not to melt. Of course, she's not really a governess, she's just a beast. She's going to eat you. Run.” The Doctor grabbed the children’s hands and they ran to the foyer.

A man came into the foyer. “Children, what is the expla…” He stopped seeing Elise and the Doctor. “Who the devil are you? What are you doing in my house?”

“It's okay. I am your governess' gentleman friend, and we've just been upstairs…kissing!”

Elise’s eyes went wide as she stared at the Doctor. What on earth made him say that?

The maid came running in. “Captain Latimer. In the garden, there's snowmen! And they're just growing out of nowhere, all by themselves. Look!” She threw open the front door and Madame Vastra stood there with Jenny.

“Good evening. I'm a Lizard Woman from the Dawn of Time, and this is my wife,” Vastra told her.

The maid screamed and turned around, running into Strax.

“This dwelling is under attack. Remain calm, human scum.”

The maid screamed again and promptly fainted.

The Doctor ran down the stairs and checked on the maid, before standing up and putting a hand on Captain Latimer’s shoulder. “So, any questions?” the Doctor asked.

Latimer turned to Clara. “You have a gentleman friend?”

Clara sighed.

“Vastra, what's happening?” The Doctor ran into the living room to look out the window.

“The snow is highly localized, and on this occasion not naturally occurring.”

“It's coming out of that cab parked by the gates,” Jenny explained.

“Sir, one pulver grenade would blow these snowmen to smithereens,” Strax said.

“They're made of snow, Strax. They're already smithereens. See, Clara? Our friends again,” the Doctor said.

“Clara? Who's Clara?” Latimer asked.

“Your current governess is in reality a former barmaid called Clara.”

The ice woman appeared on the stairs. “That's the way to do it!”

“Meanwhile your previous governess is now a living ice sculpture impersonating Mister Punch. Jenny, what have you got?”

Jenny threw a device that created a force field at the top of the stairs. “That should hold it.”

“Sir, this room. One observational window on the line of attack and one defendable entrance,” Strax told them, gesturing to the study.

“Right, everyone in there. Now. Move it. You, carry her,” the Doctor ordered.

“Nice to see you off your cloud and engaging again,” Vastra said as the Doctor soniced the force field.

“I'm not engaging again, I'm under attack.”

“You missed this, didn't you? I know Elise did.”

Elise smiled.

The Doctor gave Vastra a smile. “Shut up.”

They entered the study.

“Strax, how long have we got?” the Doctor asked.

“They're not going to attack. They made no attempt to conceal their arrival. An attack force would never abandon surprise so easily, and they're clearly in a defense formation.”

“Way, aye, aye. Well done, Straxy. Still got it, buddy.” He kissed Strax on the head.

“Sir, please do not noogie me during combat prep.”

“So there's something here they want,” Vastra said.

“The ice woman,” Clara deduced.

“Exactly,” the Doctor said.

“Why's she so important?” Jenny asked.

“Because she's a perfect duplication of human DNA in ice crystal form. The ultimate fusion of snow and humanity. To live here, the snow needs to evolve and she's the blueprint. She's what they need to become. When the snow melted last night, did the pond?”

“No,” Clara answered.

“Living ice that will never melt. If the snow gets hold of that creature on the stairs, it will learn to make more of them. It will build an army of ice. And it will be the last day of humanity on this planet.”

The doorbell rang.

The Doctor cracked his neck. “Stay here.”

Both Clara and Elise followed after him.

“Oi, I told you to stay in there,” he told Clara, “With Elise I’m used to it.”

“Oh, I didn't listen.”

“You do that a lot.”

“It's why you like me.”

“Who said I like you?”

Clara grabbed the Doctor and kissed him, shocking both Timelords. “I think you just did,” Clara said.

“You kissed me,” the Doctor argued.

“You blushed.”

“And with…this… Shut up.” The Doctor ran to the front door and opened it.

Dr. Simeon stood there. “Release her to us. You have five minutes.”

The Doctor closed the door. “We need to get her out of here but keep her away from them.”

“How?”

The Doctor grabbed an umbrella from a stand. “With this. Do I always have to state the obvious?”

“Those creatures outside, what are they?” Latimer asked.

“No danger to you, as long as I get that thing out of here. You, in there, now.” The Doctor went up the stairs and soniced the force field.

“What are you doing?” Clara asked.

“Between you and me, I can't wait to find out.”

The force field disappeared and reappeared behind them.

“Right, if you look after everyone here, then I can…” The Doctor realized Clara was standing next to him. “Clara!”

“Doctor!”

They managed to get around the ice woman and ran up the stairs.

“Stupid!”

“You were stupid, too!”

“I'm allowed. I'm good at stupid.”

“That's the way to do it!” the ice woman shrieked.

“Why does she keep saying that?” Clara asked.

“Mirroring. Random mirroring. We need to get on the roof,” the Doctor told her.

Clara turned around and grabbed the Doctor’s hand. “This way!”

“No, I do the hand grabbing. That's my job. That's always me!”

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 509

So this episode had some all-to-brief moments I really liked, a moment where I was definitely laughing at it and not with it, and a whole lot of Jamie being an ableist douchecanoe with a side of toxic masculinity.

The scene where Marsali calls Claire her Ma is the sweetest fucking thing. I have diabetes now. Their relationship is literally like my favorite thing about this season. (What little we’ve actually gotten of it...)

Also thank fuck she’s not gonna be preggo anymore. I swear, she’s gonna pop out a walking, talking toddler.

Also it took me longer to type that than the scene took. Can we please get more good character stuff that lasts more than fucking 0.5 seconds? Is that really too much to ask?

Hard pass on the Bree and Roger stuff, but I am 1000% here for babies swearing so Jem can stay.

Did they cast a blonde baby though so it could pass as Bonnet’s? Or did they not actually put any thought into that?

Jamie shading Roger when he asks Bree to go hunting is like the only time he’s not a douchenozzle this episode.

I know we’re supposed to be like fully on board with Roger by this point, since Jamie is by the end of the episode, but nah. I’m cool with still not liking or caring about him.

There is so much grunting and groaning in this episode it’s like the opposite of an ASMR video.

The noises in this episode are like the equivalent of someone saying “moist” over and over.

Oh hey, my favorite color! DYE ALL THE THINGS!

Seriously though, Lizzie is like that weird kid in high school that never actually has a glow up. “It’s a good day for dyeing.” I’m sorry the writers hate you so much, Lizzie.

Omfg, finally, a Claire and Bree scene that is [mostly] not about men! More of these, please. And more of Claire and Marsali. And more of Bree and Marsali. Can we please have an episode of just the ladies where the men are never mentioned?

But gee, I wonder if Bree’s engineering is gonna come back at some point this episode. Hmmm...

Ok they’ve talked about going back like almost every episode. Can Bree and fam please just go back in the finale and get it over with?

Irrationally angry at Roger for how much time he wastes just dicking around the woods because he has no idea where anything is.

Also like, buddy, if you shoot off your gun and then immediately peace out, folks are gonna come looking for you in the wrong spot...

Omfg, Jamie is like literally dying and the priority is to tell someone to go do some murder. Yes, Bonnet is straight garbage. Def won’t be sad when he’s dead, and given how he has everyone who’s anyone in his pocket, murder’s probs the only way to get rid of him. But like, take the testosterone down a notch, bro.

Jamie went from “stay and take care of the Ridge” to “all y’all gotta get the fuck outta here” *rull* quick.

Aaand is this the start of Roger wanting to be a minster? Jamie talked about his father the soldier, but he wants to follow in his other father’s footsteps? Def would be a better fucking reason than “I wanna get close and friendly with the ladies in a way that’s mildly creepy and don’t want people to think I’m cheating.”

“Dinna tell me ye don’t have snakes in yer time.” Ok but like Marsali is right there. Are we supposed to assume she knows? I swear to fuck if we got cheated out of her and Fergus finding out about Claire...

Nurse!Marsali is legit my favorite and my favorite adaptive choice the show made in a long fucking time.

Claire telling Jamie she doesn’t need to inject the penicillin into his bum is the fucking cutest.

Glad they did the “you’re not yelling at me so I must be dying” scene, it’s adorable. One good thing before Jamie turns into a twat.

Like seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you, buddy. He’s obsessed with being “whole”. Always has been. It’s lowkey a bit gross, tbh.

Ableism is never a good look, bro.

Like oh hey, Claire, you left everything and traveled through time to come be with me, but if I can’t have my leg, then sorry, that’s just a sacrifice I’m not willing to make. Fuck you, dude. Fuuuck you.

“Well people of this time see the child as proof that... That you were a willing participant, because God wouldna allow a child to be conceived through... Rape.” IT’S NOT JUST THAT TIME, ROGER. WE STILL LIVE IN THE BAD PLACE.

“It seems to me, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare,” Mr. Akin said of pregnancies from rape. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."

Friendly reminder that the Republican Party is evil and if you support them you are a garbage person or an idiot. :)

I said what I said, @ me and get blocked.

Literalol at Bree getting punted by a fucking buffalo. Like that is the most unintentionally hilarious fucking thing ever.

Like seriously, that bit was dumb af in the book and it’s dumber af here because the CGI or whatever the fuck composite it was is so fucking terrible.

I fucking love that Claire and Bree talk to each other like equals. The mutual love and respect there is great. More of them together, please and thank you.

But also like, fuck Jamie for making Claire thing she’d lose his love if she saves his life by taking his leg. Fuck him, selfish asshat. What a fucking bastard.

She’d risk losing his love to save him. She loves him that much. And he’s willing to make her feel this pain because he doesn’t want to be crippled.

CLAIRE FUCKING ELIZABETH FUCKING BEAUCHAMP FUCKING DESERVES FUCKING BETTER. FUCK.

Young Ian calling Jamie on his complete and utter offensive bullshit is my fucking everything.

FUCKING PREACH, YOUNG IAN. FUCKING PREACH.

Put some respect on Ian Murray’s name, James Fraser. And show some fucking respect for your fucking son.

YOUNG IAN AND FERGUS, MY BROTP RIDES AGAIN!

I love this scene between the them. I really hope we get more with the two of them. GIVE ME ALL THE FRASER KIDDO BONDING, YOU COWARDS.

Marsali and Fraser are literally my favorite couple on the whole damn show. Can Young Ian move in with them and then the whole show can just be about that squad? Because ngl, I’d watch the fuck out of it.

Gah, I want to feel what they want me to feel with this scene between Jamie and Claire. This should be my brand of angst. But they made Jamie be such a twat that all I feel is sorry for Claire that she’s going through this.

I WANNA GIVE CLAIRE A HUG OK.

LOOOOOOL THE RESUSCITATIVE HANDJOB!

(Named such by Bonnie.)

Fuck you that it took a deathbed handy to realize that you should fucking live, Jamie.

Yes, I know it’s Claire that made him live, but she was literally there all day begging to save him and he fucking blew her off. Fuck that guy.

Fergus is a fucking adorable father. Fergus is fucking adorable in general. I just fucking love Fergus a lot.

His face when Marsali goes into labor is fucking hilariously precious.

Oh hey, Jamie realizes he was a dick! I can’t remember the last time that happened. Notice how he doesn’t actually say he’s sorry though. He never, ever does that. That’s just asking too much of our oh so glorious king of men. *vomits onto keyboard*

MIT to the rescue! (Did they ever say Bree transferred in the show? Or are they still pretending like women went to Harvard at that time?)

Claire talking to babies is my kink.

Aaand just like that, the toxic masculinity is back in full force. Le sigh.

I’m so tired of men, tbh.

Except Adso. And Fergus. And Jem. And Germain. And Young Ian.

Ok so Jamie resigned himself to die after Culloden. And I get that. I fucking 100% get that. He thought Claire was gone. Him being alive was a risk to Jenny and Ian’s family. But here? He resigned himself to die? Instead of fighting like hell to survive? To stay with his wife? His daughter? His son? His nephew? His grandkids? Fuck you, Jamie Fraser. Fuck you that fighting for them wasn’t your first choice.

I came back because I have to fight in a war. God says so. Ugh.

Like yes, there is a war coming. And as we’ve been beaten over the head with for years, ThE pAsT iS dAnGeRoUs FoR tHe LaDiEs so he needs to be there to protect them. But like come on, dude. That can be a secondary reason. I know he’s like oh I don’t need to say I came back because I love you because you know I’ll always love you. But like, maybe fucking prioritize it here, bro. Just a thought.

Ugh, men.

#EternalMood

[curlytemple]

niche interests list 

okay sure yes this is fun! i havent posted a thing like this in such a long time. thank you new gal pal @scottspack for tagging me! 

pigs????

alright first lets throw it back to preschool! my fav childhood toys were my baby doll (snookums) and a plush pig that my grandma got me that i just called ‘pig’ ...i watched the babe movies countless times, and piglet? that anxious little guy GETS ME bro. when my preschool did a nativity play and my class got to choose an animal to be in baby jesus’ manger, my mother recalls me saying that i would be a pig because jewish people (jesus christ) wouldnt eat me. she has no idea how or when i learned about kosher foods. ironically despite my namesake i was too afraid of the movie charlotte’s web to watch it more than once because the scary farmer tries to kill wilbur for being small and the pretty spider dies. 

sugar creek gang 

OKAY this is a book series from the 40s-70s about a group of christian little boys in indiana who went on adventures in the woods and helped people. my dad read a LOT of chapter books to me as bedtime stories when i was little (see also the mandie series, nancy drew and the hardy boys, little house on the prairie) but sugar creek gang is one that really hit. i read all 36 books with dad and at least once again on my own. there was a series of 4 or 5 movies in the early 2000s when i was the Perfect age to have a crush on most if not all of them. this might be too much detail but i have to tell you about these boys. we WILL not be revisiting the heavy religious themes. 

 the narrator is bill who is Good and Kind and wants to be a doctor when he grows up. his best friend is a chubby boy nicknamed poetry because he memorizes and quotes poems, he is the Detective of the group. BIG JIM is the leader of the group who is supposed to be like, 14, which was very cool and hot, to me. and yes there is a little jim, who is the baby of the group. then there is CIRCUS who is known for his climbing and acrobatics, and his FIVE SISTERS AND BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE. dreamboy. i’m almost done listing boys, i promise. a boy called dragonfly who is allergic to everything and hella superstitious. later in the series a new boy named tom moves to town and tom has an older brother bob who is NOT A CHRISTIAN (bully) 

tangentially, the buttercream gang, a movie from 1992 that was almost definitely made by some christians who grew up reading the sugar creek gang series which i’m guessing on vibes alone. will spare you Good Boy details but scott is in love with his best friend pete who moves to chicago and falls in with a bad crowd and scott just refuses to stop LOVING HIM. very gay christian film in retrospect. 

peter pan

so i know liking disney’s peter pan isnt niche, but it was the way i liked it. tinker bell stan from day one, i watched all of those disney fairies movies, even the ones that came out after i was definitely not intended audience. there was an online pixie hollow game where you could design your own fairies and play mini games where you gathered dew drops or something. had a HUGE CRUSH on jeremy sumpter in peter pan (2003) then i got really darkly obsessed with the idea of growing up when i was 12 or 13, and everything peter pan was deeply My Shit for my entire adolescence. i read the original book and every other twisted version of the story i could find and seriously freaked myself out about wasting my youth. 

shug

you’ve probably heard of jenny han now, or at least the netflix adaptations for to all the boys i’ve loved before and the sequel ps i still love you (always and forever, lara jean, coming soon?) but before she wrote THOSE, she wrote my first ever Favorite Book, about annemarie “shug” wilcox, a girl in the summer before starting middle school. it is SO engraved on my heart i cannot explain. i felt so incredibly understood and cant even tell you how many times i read it. thinking about all of the ways it made me feel SEEN is actually making me very tender so i’m gonna go on.  

the summer series

on the subject of jenny han, since she was now my Favorite author, when she came out with the summer i turned pretty in 2009, i was ALL IN. it’s not summer without you, and we’ll always have summer were published the next two years. a coming of age series about a girl isabel “belly” conklin who stays at her mother’s best friend's house at the beach in the summers. i really could talk about it forever yall. i actually dont know how to be succinct about it. i will try. her mom’s friend has TWO BOYS. one brother, jeremiah, is the golden boy and her best friend who is in love with her! the older one CONRAD is her childhood crush who's just sort of around while belly is firmly getting over her childish feelings and going out and experiencing teen beach life with jeremiah for the first time and figuring out who she is and wants to be! by the end of the summer he admits he feels differently about her (hence belly internalizing this as The Summer I Turned Pretty) and they get together. this is already too much so i will just say that the next two books deal with a PROFOUND LOSS and the selfishness of grief and the SELFLESSNESS OF CONRAD and i will absolutely lose my shit if netflix picks it up for a second jenny han series adaptation. 

pappyland

this was a kids show in the 90′s that features a character named Pappy Drew-It, an artist dressed like a 49er who lives in a magic cabin in pappyland. there’s tons of characters and music and life lessons but the meat of every episode is a detailed drawing how-to (pappy is actually a cartoonist, michael cariglio) and i have a hard back cover sketch book from my grandpa that i FILLED with drawings that pappy and DOODLEBUG taught me to do. there is a running gag that pappy always breaks his crayons.  

boy meets world

i KNOW this is beloved by many but i’m counting it because i’m simply too young to have such an obsession with it! the show ran from 1992-2000. i was born in 1996, but reruns on the disney channel and abc family cemented it as one of my favorite shows. cory and shawn, closer than brothers, shameless homoromantics, shawn is cory’s first wife!!!!! truly showed me what a best friend can and should be!!!!!! the great love of your life!!!!! TOPANGA, the og weird feminist girl who said stop shaving your legs and start speaking your mind, ladies! the characters are so richly developed that they are real people to my heart. YES every character on this show is in their late 30s-early 40s and YES i feel like we grew up together. in season one they’re in the 6th grade and we follow them all the way to COLLEGE. countless poignant life lessons, often literally dictated by the wise and hilarious MR. FEENY, cory’s next door neighbor and somehow one of his teachers for YEARS. my love was only solidified by the 2014 girl meets world reboot, centered on cory and topanga’s daughter and her best friend. (which was literally cancelled because disney didn’t want to transition from a kids show to a teen show, something essential to the original. also because that teen show would have had CANON LESBIANS. extremely shameful move in 2017!) boy meets world lives rent free in my heart and i will never evict it!!!!!!!

i consulted my mother when i got stumped for more and she reminded me that i had obsessions with the impressionist art period and babies and ANYTHING fairies or pixies, and i was way too young when my love of the canadian teen after school special degrassi began. she also said bob ross, which i was hesitant to include because he’s been super ~trendy in recent years, but to be fair (To Be Faaairrr) she’s right! i don’t think people really watched the joy of painting as much as i have throughout my life. best sick day show of all time.

lastly i could honestly list anna herself as a niche interest, my mom actually metioned that ive always hyperfixated on my girl friends (gay) but i’ll just note that YES friday night lights, YES barry lyga novels. love to share so many things with you, niche or not, they’re niche in Our Mind.

[leiascully]

Fic:  Baseball Metaphors (15/15)

Part One  |  Part Two  |  Part Three |  Part Four |  Part Five |  Part Six|  Part Seven |  Part Eight |  Part Nine  |   Part Ten  |  Part Eleven  |  Part Twelve | Part Thirteen |  Part Fourteen

Thanks for sticking with me to the end of what, like Visitor, began as a one-shot and ended up a thirty thousand word journey.  It’s possible that this is the epilogue of Deathly Hallows of epilogues, and if that’s true for you, please feel free to ignore it and live forever with Mulder and Scully in the throes of some truly epic afterglow.  But I wanted to follow the thread a little further, and explore what their future might have been if this had been their present sometime in the middle of Season 3 (honestly, a terrible time to set it, given how many killer episodes and how much mytharc I ended up having to write out of their moderately peaceful life together).  I’m sorry to say that it’s safe for work, PG at most.

Jenny won't take elopement for an answer, so Scully relents and lets her help plan the reception.  Despite her dull taste in paint colors, Jenny turns out to have exquisite taste when it comes to planning weddings, and she and Scully talk flowers and place settings and the details of the reception dress for hours.  She coaxes out all of the details Scully never thought she cared about as Mulder watches, fascinated.  In another life Jenny would have made a great interrogator.  Maybe even in this one.  

They go to the wedding, of course.  The minister is boring and the vows are boilerplate.  Mulder slides his thumb smugly under the hem of Scully's dress.  She smiles like an angel and pulls him into the garden during the reception so that he can keep the promise his thumb made.  But they both cry, just a little.  It's not because of Ethan and Jenny, they swear to each other.  It's just the idea of weddings, of course.  It's the idea that they, one day soon, will be standing up in front of each other and saying their various versions of same old words that somehow still mean something every time.

Eventually, the baby is born, and their time with Ethan and Jenny peters out, except for Scully's occasional wedding planning dates.  She dandles the baby on her knee and discusses the merits of a veil versus a fascinator for the reception (the fascinator wins) while Jenny changes out the cabbage leaves in her nursing bra.  

They get married in her mother's living room.  Maggie isn't happy about the lack of a Catholic wedding necessarily, but she gives them her blessing as they join hands and promise themselves to each other, forever and ever.  At least the priest makes house calls, Mulder thinks.  They all sign the document afterwards and Scully's mother serves up cake and coffee.  It's all very civilized.  Scully glows in a dress she got from the department store.  Mulder touches the white rose pinned to the lapel of his new bespoke suit.  When everyone's plates are just crumbs and the cups are dregs, they hug Maggie and take their leave.  She presses a horseshoe and a bell into Mulder's hands.

"Melissa would have wanted you to have it," she says.  Scully cries.

That night in bed, they explore each other slowly, their hunger tempered now by months of indulgence.  He spends so long after his first orgasm coaxing gentle climaxes out of her that she reaches down and finds him firm again, and she slides her leg over his hip and takes him in.  They make love gazing into each other's eyes, as if each touch is part of a ritual that will keep them safe and whole and happy.

Only afterwards do they realize they forgot the condom.  

The train from DC to Portland, Maine takes twelve hours, give or take.  They spend most of it holding hands.  Scully pages through the issues of JAMA she's never managed to catch up on.  Mulder reads a treatise on alien behavior that someone sent him anonymously, sharing the most entertaining portions aloud with Scully.  

The B&B may or may not be haunted, but it's picturesque as hell.  They rent a car and drive into the woods and there it is, white clapboard and black gables spattered with wet leaves that the wind has pasted there.  The bed is deep and soft and they spend the weekend hiking, eating, drinking wine by the fireplace, and making love with no barriers between them, holding their hope cupped in their palms like a candle flame in a breeze.  

Scully doesn't get pregnant. It's just as well.  They keep going out on cases.  They dip in and out of the darkness of their own minds.  Krycek reappears, the bad penny forever turning up.  That's after the black oil, after the airport in Hong Kong.  

"I should have made him my best man," Mulder muses, when everything's over, because there's nothing to do but whistle in the dark.

"Frohike would have been a better choice," Scully demurs.  

At the reception, Byers gives a lovely toast and Frohike demands to dance with the bride.  Langly tries to DJ.  No one dances.  It's a small party, but Teena Mulder comes down.  She kisses Scully's cheek and presses a glass of wine into her hand.  "I said the seven blessings," she says.  "I always knew it would be you.  Fox will know what to do."  

He ducks his head.  "Thank you, Mom."

She reaches up and strokes his cheek.  "You're a good son, Fox.  I think you'll make a good husband."

"He is," Scully says fiercely.

Teena's eyes soften.  She nods.  They drink the wine and Mulder steps on the glass.  "Mazel tov," Teena says, and makes her excuses.

They don't tell anyone about the marriage, not even Skinner.  Scully wears her ring on the chain around her neck, next to her cross.  It seems safer that way.  They do move in together, quietly, submitting separate change of address forms weeks apart.  There's some kind of solace in coming to work in separate cars and opening the door of their new apartment to find the other one already waiting in a place that isn't filled with their own ghosts.  Mulder keeps his old place too; it's a convenient place to meet up with his informants.  

They fake his death there one day, when Scully is dying of cancer and Mulder is at the end of his rope.  He comes back from the land of the lost with a chip for the back of her neck.  Bill steps in front of him, a snarl on his face, but Maggie lays a hand on her son's arm.

"That's her husband," she says calmly, and weathers the hurricane of Bill's fury and confusion while Mulder coaxes Scully to sit up, kissing her dry cheek and whispering to her about miracles.  She has the little bottle in one hand and her rosary in the other.  

"You can't let go," he says.  "I know I said 'til death do us part, but Scully, that can't be now."  He kneels at her bedside and sobs against her thigh while she strokes his hair.  

"I'll do it," she says, and he can hear that there isn't really hope in her voice, but she wants to spare him the agony of never having tried.  

She gets better.  They go to the doctor to discuss the ova from the facility Mulder found.  The specialist thinks there's hope.  It takes a few months, but eventually the test comes back positive.  "Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Scully," the specialist says, and neither of them correct her.  The conspiracy they've been unraveling may be so much lint and chaff, but this is real.  They put their hands together on her belly.

When they find Emily, the adoption agency is only too happy to let them fill out the paperwork.  A nice young married couple, steady jobs, maybe a little on the dangerous side, but at least they've got good insurance and a government pension, right?  And it can't be so risky, if Agent Scully is pregnant and still going in to the office.  They have to tell Skinner after that.  He doesn't look particularly surprised. They fly their daughter across the country and settle, dazed and dazzled, into some kind of routine.

At least their new place has a bedroom for her, and one for the baby on the way.  They burn through a lot of their sick days, but Emily begins to grow and thrive and Scully's belly rounds.  Mulder helps her with her reading at night; Scully coaxes her through math.  It works.  They're a family.   When they bring home little William, Emily is delighted.  

Cassandra Spender disappears from a bridge in Pennsylvania.  Her son batters down the door to the basement, but they don't know much more than he does.  Scully was home with Emily when the itching began, not in her neck but in her brain, but it was bathtime for Emily, and there were stories to be read, and then Mulder to hold her in the dark, and she never left DC.  

Diana Fowley strides back into their lives, bearing news of a psychic child.  She studies the ring on Scully's hand (no point in secrets anymore) and their family photos on the desk.  "Congratulations," she says in a deliberately even voice.  The door closes behind her with a click.  She doesn't come back.

They go to Texas while Maggie watches the kids.  Somehow they end up in Antarctica, but somehow they get back with all their fingers and toes and a few more insights into the vast global conspiracy that used to be the lodestar of their lives.  They lose the X-Files for a little while, but they have other things that are important, like where Emily's other shoe is and whether there are any clean bottles to store breastmilk in and why Mulder's mother sends such expensive presents.

(Scully never goes to Africa.  Mulder never goes to Oregon.  Despite it all, they have their health and strength.)

They're happy.  They still argue.  One Christmas Eve, Mulder convinces Scully to leave the kids at her mother's and takes her ghosthunting for old time's sake.  One strange day through a series of strange coincidences, Scully meets her ex at a hospital.

"All the choices we've made," she says later, blurry after a glass of wine, "they've all led to this moment."

"I'd make the same ones," he says.  

"Me too," she says, taking his hand.  "You know, the kids are in bed."

"Are you propositioning me, Agent Scully?" he asks, mocking outrage.

"It's my turn," she says, and leads him into their bedroom, and he thinks they just might live happily ever after after all.

[silveragelovechild]

Who’s Who?

I’ve been a regular viewer of “Doctor Who” since the 1980s. I started watch via my local PBS channel that was showing the Tom Baker run (I started around the time Adric joined as a companion). Then came Peter Davison’s Doctor. Because I was fairly new to the doctor’s adventures, Davidson became my favorite Doctor and still is.

The PBS had a weak signal (in the days before cable) so when Colin Baker took over, I didn’t want to watch grainy episodes (he’s definitely my least favorite Doctor).

I liked Sylvester McCoy’s Doctor but there was that weak signal problem, so I didn’t see all the episodes.

I did love Paul McGaan’s TV movie Doctor but over all the show didn’t “feel” like a Doctor Who program. I’m glad to see he’s appeared in official Who programs since then and I’ve even listen to a couple of his Big Finish adventures.

Then the long wait until Christopher Eccleston arrived. I definitely like the modern approach and bigger budgets. I just wished that he stuck around a little longer.

Like many others, I also love David Tennant’s Doctor. Although I thought they shouldn’t have had his companions fall in love with him. Rose was good but the will they/won’t they drug out too long. I thought Martha was one of the best modern companions. I wish they had done a spin off of Martha & Mickey. (Donna was too shrill.)

Matt Smith was fun. The dynamics improved by having Rory around (making it harder for Amy to fall in love with the Doctor). But I felt Smith stuck around one season too many.

Peter Capaldi was a good Doctor but I never got “into” Clara. And I think the character lost something when he changed from a cool hipster to grungy punk. Bill Potts made for a good companion and I wish they didn’t kill her off.

For a while, part of the fan base was campaigning for a female doctor - literally have the male doctor transform into a female. I didn’t understand what drove this. There is an odd message that says a female doctor could do something a make doctor couldn’t. Yet at the same time the push to have male characters and female characters interchange able. And if anyone spoke out against the idea, they are called haters, sexists or misogynist.

Another reason I didn’t think a female doctor was needed, was because there are at least 4 other female characters the BBC could build a show from: Susan Foreman; Romana, Jenny (from The Doctor's Daughter); and River Song. BBC could create fantastic new shows about any of these female character and I’d watch them all.

But the BBC must have felt that the fans pushing for a female Doctor spoke for the majority. So they laid the ground work by turning the Master into Missy. In theory, at the core, they were the same character whether man or woman. Yet one of the first things Missy did was something I could never imagine any of the other Masters do - she kissed the Doctor. Michelle Gomez was good but she could just as easily been Rani (a female Time Lord introduces in 1993).

I don’t have anything against Jodie Whittaker. She’s fun. But the BBC has surround her with 3 regular companion (something that hasn’t been done since the 5th Doctor). So the episode are split between A, B, C and sometime D storyline to give each of the something to do. It’s almost as if the BBC doesn’t trust Whittaker to carry the show on her own.

I saw Whitaker’s first full season. Like I said, she was fun, but the stories weren’t particularly memorable and I found I started to forget when a new episode was on.

Then to make matters worse, the show took a year off between Series 11 & 12. This contributed to my disconnect with the show. I didn’t even realize that the show was on again until 3 episodes had already been released. At this point I don’t have a lot of enthusiasm to catch up. But I will, eventually.

Although there are conflicting reports, I’ve seen article claiming the current season has had the lowest rating in 30+ years. I don’t want to the show to be cancelled again. I hope the BBC can course correct and make the show fun again.

https://cosmicbook.news/doctor-who-worse-ratings-31-years

[nerdtrash-iteration]

(Re)watching Doctor Who: series 7

Alright onto Matt Smith’s final series. I had heard a lot of complaints about this series before diving in but I wanted to keep an open mind about it. Let’s go.

Series 7 (Eleventh Doctor) Part 1 7.X1: The Doctor, the Widow and the Wardrobe I honestly really like this Christmas special. It isn’t one of the better ones but I think it’s charming for what it is. I really like the forest setting and the digger crew, they had loads of personality. I love how protective the mother is of her kids. I really like the pseudo Time Vortex used at the end and the happy ending it brings. Yeah the kids aren’t amazing characters and the plot is a bit all over the place, but I still really liked it. Also the ending scene with the Ponds is really touching. 7.1: Asylum of the Daleks This gave me a bit of tonal whiplash seeing Amy and Rory broken up all of a sudden. And I was dreading another Dalek story. But I really liked it! I love the creepy setting, the interactions between Amy and Rory and this is the first time I’ve been excited about a Dalek story in ages. Loved this first version of Clara. The ending really surprised me and really got me emotional :( Overall a decent start to series 7. 7.2: Dinosaurs on a Spaceship Mixed but mostly positive feelings on this episode. I think the villain and the plot aren’t great and definitely could have done some tidying up. But I do like the goofy tone and the new characters we meet. Especially Rory’s dad, a legend. 7.3: A Town Called Mercy Ugggghhhhhhh. Again there’s that bias against stories set in America. I do like some things about it. Love seeing the Doctor angry and trying to enact moral judgment. Some interesting ethical stuff at play here. This guy is a doctor helping people but he is a war criminal. But I just found it mostly underwhelming. Didn’t care for the cyborg nor the setting. 7.4: The Power of Three Disappointed this wasn’t the 3rd episode in series 7, would have really been good timing. Anyway I’m very fond of this episode. Love Rory’s dad again, love the slow pace allowing the characters to have meaningful interactions. I like that it’s addressed that Amy and Rory really do have the ability to spend weeks away from their “normal” time apparently without missing anything. The ending is pretty weak but I have heard there were production issues around that so I’ll forgive it. This is a bit of a frustrating episode in the context of the next one when you look at the arc of the Ponds, but I do like it on its own. 7.5: The Angels Take Manhattan I remember friends of mine being devastated when this episode aired. So I know this is the last episode the Ponds appear in and I know what’s happens to them in the graveyard at the end. But I was really impressed with the use of time travel in the episode’s plot, especially how the novel predicts what happens. I was annoyed at how inconsistent the Angels were at times. In the scene before Amy and Rory jump, there were plenty of times where no-one was looking at the Statue of Liberty Angel. Why didn’t it take them then??? Also while I love the episode on its own, it is strange in the context of the Ponds’ arc. These last few episodes have had them conflicted on whether they should continue travelling with the Doctor. In the previous episode, they decide they will. And now they’re dead. Just seems a bit jarring with its pacing. But overall I do love this episode. Part 2 7.X2: The Snowmen Damn, do I have mixed feelings on this episode. I think I saw bits of it at the time of airing? Anyway I really don’t care for the Snowmen, the ice nanny nor the Great Intelligence. I only really cared for the Great Intelligence as a character in The Name of the Doctor. Most of the time I found him really boring. Anyway plenty of positive things in this episode. Love Matt Smith’s Victorian garb. Really like this new version of Clara and the use of the Paternoster gang, especially Strax. Also I will always be mesmerised by the scene where Clara ascends the spiral staircase through the clouds up to the TARDIS. The whole double life things she has going is a bit weird, didn’t really get that. 7.6: The Bells of Saint John Yiiiiiiiiiiikes. This single episode made it very clear to me why so many Doctor Who fans hate series 7b. This version of Clara really ain’t it so far, but I think that’s mostly down to this really bizarre script. Clara being someone in her mid 20s who doesn’t know how to connect to WiFi, Jesus Christ. I know it was 2013 but STILL.  Also she makes ONE JOKE about Twitter and the Doctor responds with “Omg you’re a genius now, how can that be”. I hated that. Had anyone in their mid 20s actually glanced at this script? I thought the WiFi plot was ehh. But it was quite chilling to see how it ended. With the villain being reduced to a child state, that was really sad. I also really liked the TARDIS appearing on a plane, with Clara still holding her cup of tea. And the Doctor cycling up the Shard. It’s unfortunate that Clara outsmarting the bad guys is nullified by the fact that her intelligence is not her own here. Anyway a very frustrating start to series 7b. 7.7: The Rings of Akhaten This episode was definitely an improvement to me over the very shaky start. Clara has a bit more to do here, we see some depth with how she feels about her mother’s death. I really like Akhaten as a setting. The monster is alright, not amazing but I’ll take it. I also like some of the interactions the Doctor and Clara have. Overall a decent step forward. 7.8: Cold War Oh no, here we go again. Nothing really glaringly bad about this episode but I just found it really lackluster and boring. I felt Clara went a step backwards here and didn’t have much to do. Setting didn’t really interest me. I did actually like Clara’s interactions with the trapped Ice Warrior. That was cool. 7.9: Hide This! This is a decent one for me in series 7b. I adore the authenticity with the ghost hunters’ costumes and equipment. I really felt like I was watching a 70s horror film. This is one of those rare cases for me where giving a sci-fi explanation to something supernatural makes it more interesting. I thought the pocket dimension was creepy and I loved the future-dweller’s use in the story. Few quibbles being I didn’t think the ghost hunters had quite enough chemistry. Also I found the rules of the episode a bit inconsistent. Apparently it’s near impossible for the TARDIS to survive long in the pocket dimension. And yet it gets in there twice? 7.10: Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS Another episode I have mixed feelings on. FIrstly I adore the setting. I love being reminded that the TARDIS is a truly complex and dangerous beast to be in the belly of, especially when it is being threatened. I liked that the Doctor and Clara have some solid interactions here, with the Doctor venting his frustration at her constant reappearances as different people. I really liked the group’s future selves being used as the villains. I thought the resolution was okay, could have been a bit more interesting. I didn’t super care for the three brothers in this storyline and thought lying to one about being an android really took me out of it. But decent overall. 7.11: The Crimson Horror Ahhhhhh, I really wanted to like this episode. I really like how it starts with the Doctor and Clara being absent for a while and seeing how the mystery unfolds. I like the Paternoster gang and I really think the villain’s plan is interesting. A religious cult foretelling the apocalypse and building a perfect town for select members. And then causing said apocalypse. But when the Doctor and Clara return it all goes to hell. I hated the Doctor kissing Jenny Flint, that was really out of place. As well as the erection joke, just why. I found the villain extremely cartoonish and not in an enjoyable way. She literally says “Die, you freaks!” towards the end. Also Clara really was not it in this episode. I thought the weird parasite thing was pretty cool though, right level of creepy. And I liked the scarred daughter getting her revenge. But overall a very frustrating episode. 7.12: Nightmare in Silver God, this episode annoyed me so much. I really wanted to like it. It had a really good creepy setting. Good way to bring the Cybermen back. I liked some of the side characters, particularly the emperor in hiding. But God, I hated the kids in this story. They just suck. Super annoying. Really didn’t need to be there. Also I wasn’t into the Doctor/Cybercontroller interactions. There wasn’t enough of a distinction for me to take it seriously. It just felt like Matt Smith talking to himself and trying to sound menacing. 7.13: The Name of the Doctor And we’re at the end of this strange series of Doctor Who! I think this is a pretty solid end. I was sick of Trenzalore being referred to and not making sense but I’m glad we got some clarity on it here. I liked the use of the psychic conference call and the Paternoster gang’s involvement. I thought the Whisper Men were decently creepy. Really liked the idea of the TARDIS’ exterior growing. And I was glad that Clara’s multiple lives were finally explained. And I felt it worked pretty well. And it was a lovely tribute to the series as a whole, seeing her with multiple Doctors. My main quibble is that Jenny was revived really quickly after the Whisper Men killed her?? That was quite frustrating. Overall I didn’t hate this series. But I did see why so many were frustrated by it. There are some decent stories in here but there’s also a whole lot of mess as well.

[esonetwork]

Timestamp #190: Human Nature & The Family of Blood

New Post has been published on https://esonetwork.com/timestamp-190-human-nature-the-family-of-blood/

Timestamp #190: Human Nature & The Family of Blood

Doctor Who: Human Nature Doctor Who: The Family of Blood (2 episodes, s03e08-e09, 2007)

  Martha Jones: The woman who waited.

The chase is on as the TARDIS door swings open and our heroes hit the deck before an energy beam slams into the console. The Doctor sets the TARDIS into motion but their enemy is following them courtesy of a stolen vortex manipulator. He tells Martha that, as long as they never saw her face, they can be safe. Their lives depend on a simple pocketwatch.

Dr. John Smith snaps awake from a nightmare as a maid named Martha delivers his breakfast. He tells her of a fanciful dream, one in which he is a time traveler named the Doctor. She reminds him that it is 1913 and that he is merely human. After he dresses, Dr. Smith goes about his lessons at Farringham School for the Boys as Martha works alongside fellow maid Jenny. Two unpleasant cadets sling not so subtle racism at Martha, but she dismisses it. Jenny notes that those boys may be running the country in a matter of years, but Martha quietly responds that they probably won’t. World War I is just on the horizon.

Dr. Smith later encounters Matron Joan Redfern, the school nurse, and they awkwardly hit it off. The encounter ends as Dr. Smith falls backward down the stairs. Matron Redfern tends to his injuries as Dr. Smith muses about his dreams and Martha tidies up. Smith talks about having two hearts – Redfern clinically dismisses that notion with a stethoscope – and shows the matron his Journal of Impossible Things. She’s wowed by his drawings and stories, but takes it anyway to read it later. She later discusses the mysterious doctor with Martha and emphasizes that she remember her place.

Later on, young Timothy Latimer is bullied by Hutchinson. The aggressor is irritated by Latimer’s knowledge of things he shouldn’t know, and Jeremy Baines defuses the situation by offering to fetch a beer from a secret stash in the woods. Martha and Jenny also share a drink outside the local pub – they’re not allowed inside due to their social status – as a green light flashes across the sky. Smith arrives and explains it away as a shooting star before retiring for the night. With Smith safely tucked away, Martha runs off to investigate, and Jenny tags along.

The light turns out to be a ship and Baines runs into it, quite literally. He’s able to get aboard just before Martha and Jenny arrive, and the ladies return home. Meanwhile, Baines talks with the ship’s occupants, the Family. He asks to see them but they refuse before attacking and taking his form. Baines returns to the dormitory without any beer, acting not quite like himself. The students call it a night while Latimer nervously polishes his boots.

The next morning, Martha checks in on the powered-down TARDIS while she remembers the events following their pursuit through time. The Doctor used a device known as the Chameleon Arch to become human, literally rewriting his DNA, and hide in 1913 to wait out the Family. He left her a set of twenty-three recorded instructions, including the last-resort directive to open the watch in an emergency. Martha tearfully wishes that he would return home.

Young Latimer visits Dr. Smith and finds the pocketwatch. He sees premonitions of what resides inside and takes the device, opening it and learning about Time Lords. Unfortunately, this alerts the Family to the Doctor’s presence. Baines (the Family’s Brother) telepathically calls back to the ship and orders the soldiers to be activated.

The soldiers take the form of scarecrows on a nearby farm. They assimilate Mr. Clark on the farm as the Family’s Father and Lucy Cartwright (a nearby girl in the wrong place at the wrong time) as the Family’s Daughter.

Smith is engaged in weapons training as Latimer deals with visions of the pending war. Latimer is dissuaded by the thought of killing African tribesmen with machine guns, and Hutchinson takes the opportunity to punish Latimer. Meanwhile, Redfern and Smith take a walk and talk about warfare. Smith saves a woman from death by falling piano with a cricket ball and a good arm. They walk the countryside and talk about Smith’s journal, and when they stop to fix one of the scarecrows, Smith talks about his childhood in Gallifrey, a place that he’s not quite sure about. Later that night, Smith and Redfern share a romantic moment that is interrupted by Martha, prompting his companion to seek solace in the TARDIS.

The Doctor didn’t leave instructions for what to do if he fell in love. Especially if it wasn’t with her.

Latimer has an encounter with the Family as the scarecrows assimilate Jenny as the new Mother. She returns to Martha’s side and learns some clues about the mysterious Doctor Smith, but Martha realizes that something is amiss. She runs to Smith, dodging the Mother’s laser fire, and discovers that the pocketwatch is missing. She fails to convince Smith of the truth, and after striking him, is dismissed from his service. She runs to the TARDIS (encountering Latimer en route) as the Family snoops about in Smith’s office.

Smith and Redfern attend a local dance as the Family track the schoolteacher down. Martha arrives with the Doctor’s sonic screwdriver and talks with Redfern, leaving the dancing duo speechless with the device from Smith’s dreams.

The Family arrives and vaporizes the doorman and the organizer of the party. They put the pieces together, but Smith still can’t recall anything. The Family wants a Time Lord, so they threaten Smith, Martha, and Redfern, but without the pocketwatch he is unable to do anything.

The standoff ends as Latimer cracks open the watch, distracting the Family. Martha takes the Mother’s weapon, forcing them to release Redfern and prompting Smith to evacuate the building. Martha is ambushed by a scarecrow but escapes. The Mother taps into Jenny’s memories and sends the Father to the west in search of whatever Martha walked to each day.

Smith rouses the school to defend against the Family’s invasion. The Sister gleefully sneaks inside to spy on the defense as Martha confronts Smith, urging him not to engage in violence. The headmaster demands an explanation but believes Smith and Redfern. Martha and Redfern search for the pocketwatch – Latimer listens to it as it whispers caution in his ear – as the headmaster and Mr. Phillips confront the Family outside the school’s gates. The Son taunts the headmaster with visions of the coming way, then sends him back inside for Smith after vaporizing Phillips.

The headmaster rallies his students, now his soldiers, to war. The Son does the same with his scarecrow army as the Father discovers the TARDIS.

Meanwhile, Martha baffles Redfern with her knowledge of medicine, something that a “girl of her color” shouldn’t know. Redfern leaves to tend to the students and plumbs the depth’s of Smith’s childhood history. She also plants the seed of pacifism in John Smith’s mind.

Latimer and Hutchinson share the younger boy’s visions of the future. Convinced that they survive the battle, Latimer runs but finds the Sister. He opens the pocketwatch and stuns the Sister with a vision of the Doctor at his most merciless, keying the Family into the need to find Latimer and the watch.

They begin the assault and the students mow down the scarecrow army with tears in their eyes, poignantly punctuated by the strains of “He Who Would Valiant Be.” The headmaster assesses the destruction – not a life was lost since they were all filled with straw – and is soon vaporized by the Sister. Smith orders a retreat as the Brother reanimates the scarecrow army and storms the school. Latimer distracts them again with the watch, saving his classmates from execution. The students and staff evacuate the school as the Father brings the TARDIS to the front doors.

Martha shows Smith the blue box and Redfern confirms what the schoolteacher wrote in his journal. Smith has a breakdown and runs into the woods, and Redfern offers them a place to hide as the Family spools up their next assault. The cottage belongs to the Cartwrights, whose daughter is now the Sister. The family is now dead. Latimer arrives soon after with the watch in hand, explaining that he was scared and that the watch asked him to wait. He’s seen the Doctor – “He’s like fire and ice and rage. He’s like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun. He’s ancient and forever. He burns at the center of time and can see the turn of the universe. And, he’s wonderful.” – but Smith refuses to take the watch.

The Family begins an assault on the village. Smith takes the watch, momentarily speaking in the Doctor’s voice, and listens in horror as Martha explains the plan. Smith doesn’t want to go but finds out that if the Family wins, they will be free to burn the universe. Redfern embraces the doctor, and together they share a vision of what could be if Smith remained: They marry, have children, and he dies happy.

But the Doctor could never have a life like that.

Moments later, Smith arrives at the Family’s ship and begs them to stop the bombardment. He offers them the watch and asks them to go, but the watch is empty. It was a ruse. The Doctor has returned, and he’s set their ship to self-destruct.

The Family and the Doctor escape from the ship in time. The Doctor, in his kindness, imprisons each member of the Family in a unique way for all eternity instead of executing them: The Father is wrapped in chains forged at the heart of a dwarf star; The Mother is enveloped in the event horizon of a collapsing galaxy; the Sister is trapped in every mirror in existence; and the Son is a scarecrow, protecting the fields of England.

They all get their wish in the end. They all get to live forever.

The Doctor returns to Redfern when all is said and done. The school is closed for the time being. He won’t change back for her, but he offers her the chance to travel with him. She declines since the wounds of loss are too deep. Especially since had the Doctor never come to her time, no one would have died.

The Doctor returns to the TARDIS and tells Martha that it’s time to move on. He thanks her for her sacrifice, and then together they bid farewell to Timothy Latimer. The Doctor gives Latimer the watch as a good luck charm before disappearing into time and space once more.

Years later, on the battlefield of World War I, Latimer checks his watch and tells Hutchinson that it is time. Latimer saves his former classmate from incoming fire, looks to the sky, and thanks the Doctor for his good luck. The Time Lord’s example continues to influence.

Farther into the future, a wheelchair-bound Latimer attends an Armistice Day ceremony and spots the Doctor and Martha, each wearing poppies. The silently acknowledge each other as the service continues.

  This is one of the deeper stories in Doctor Who lore.

First, by taking the hero and title character out of the mix, the show takes an opportunity to look over the mythology with reverence to the history of the show. The Journal of Impossible Things contains the basics (the former eight faces of the Doctor, the TARDIS, the console room, and the sonic screwdriver) along with specifics from across the Ninth and Tenth Doctor’s travels.

Second, it introduces a critical plot device of the biodata module. Carried in this story by the popular time travel trope of a pocketwatch (which we have seen before), it further plays with the ability to separate a Time Lord’s essence from his or her body, much as we saw with the Watcher at the Fourth Doctor’s regeneration. It also introduces the Chameleon Arch, which can literally rewrite a Time Lord’s DNA to any other form.

This brings up an interesting theoretical tangent: What of Susan? It will be definitively established in the future that Susan left Gallifrey with the First Doctor, and since off-worlders are generally prohibited on Gallifrey, we must assume that she’s at least Gallifreyan and potentially trained as a Time Lord. But the First Doctor was also comfortable leaving her behind on post-invasion Earth, circa 2164. Would he have left her behind, knowing that she could potentially regenerate in the presence of otherwise ignorant humans? Is it possible that he use the Chameleon Arch prior to their stop at 76 Totter’s Lane to change her into a less conspicuous human being?

We may never know, but it’s fun to speculate.

Third, I am quite impressed with Martha Jones. I mean, sure, she really wants the Doctor to love her, but her relationship with the Time Lord evidently goes much deeper than romantic love. She willingly sacrifices her mobility, her rights, and her freedom in order to save the Doctor and the universe at large. The amount of racism and discrimination levied toward her in this story is heartbreaking and far from acceptable, but Martha stands strong in the face of it. She withstands the assault on her character in service of the mission, her responsibility, and her love.

She does this because she loves the Doctor, but on a level (honestly, unbeknownst to her) far exceeding anything she ever expected. And the Doctor trusted that she could fulfill her mission.

Martha surpasses Rose with this story. She’s an independent, strong, and worthy companion, even if her emotions are a bit misguided.

Finally, in a beautiful nod to the origins of this franchise, the Doctor named his parents as Sydney and Verity. That statement was, in fact, true.

    Rating: 5/5 – “Fantastic!”

  UP NEXT – Doctor Who: Blink

  The Timestamps Project is an adventure through the televised universe of Doctor Who, story by story, from the beginning of the franchise. For more reviews like this one, please visit the project’s page at Creative Criticality.

[dayna-scully]

ncis s4 lb

season 3  |  season 5  |  season 6  |  season 7  |  season 8  |  season 9  |  season 10  |  etc

4x01

you can’t ever convince me ziva and tony weren’t sleeping together between s3 and 4

worried boyfriend tony

I was hoping maybe save me

she needs her dad kill me

we love you too 😭

she got dad to come home

he’s supposed to be dead/apparently he’s gotten better

they were 10000% fucking lets 👏 be 👏 real 👏

“when I need to be” quick question: what the fuck

skinny summer mcgoo

they use the same safe house over and over again

why wasn’t I with ziva?

she’s scared, not that she’ll ever admit that

4x02

I wonder how different the show would have been if they’d always written tony and Abby as being mature and serious the majority of the time - the childishness gets really really annoying, and there’s such a change in quality when they are more mature

dad’s home!!!

4x03

uuuuuUUUUGH I forgot how early Tony’s undercover stuff started

now that gibbs is back there’s so much tension between z/t

perhaps because z is jealous of the “mystery girlfriend”

tfw you’ve already got a girlfriend but you’re still checking out your totally platonic professional work partner’s ass

ziva is definitely a daddy’s girl in a way that Abby isn’t, Abby’s sugar sweet and spoiled, but ziva is the one that really needs the emotional support

I wonder if ziva ever actually thought about having kids with tony before tali

I wonder if tony thought about it too

has anyone ever told you you’re attractive/my brother 😂

you’re a geek, not mentally deranged

crime!!

4x04

Timothy Jimothy McGee

4x05

uhoh Tony’s worst nightmare

personally I prefer a good shag 👀

I think it’s good to keep in mind throughout all episodes that tony and ziva have already seen each other entirely buck-ass naked

I’m not blowing on you again

again: what the fuck

totally normal

👀

now is not Paris

why do you wanna look at a dead guy’s junk Anthony

4x06

I don’t totally understand ziva’s derision of Halloween, they do have Purim in Israel (and in Jewish communities in general) it might not be as dark and spooky as American Halloween but still

maybe it’s different in the states but amber alerts are only when they know the kid’s been abducted

I mean now they do know she was abducted but that was AFTER

according to someone called Scuttle Butt

so tony and ziva are watching movies together outside of work 🤔

4x07

UGH jeanne

zeevah! Zeevah!!

this has to be the stupidest thing anyone’s ever done/then why are you following me/I don’t fricking know (it’s cause you love her you doof)

i can see down your shirt right now/I don’t think your new girlfriend would like that/what are you talking about i don’t know what you’re talking about/I’m talking about you and the fact that you no longer stare at every woman when they pass you by

so 1) tony is not as good at hiding this undercover assignment as he thinks he is, 2) ziva observes him enough to notice that his behaviour has changed and 3) ziva is the only one he is STILL checking out

not worth dying over

I’ll remember that

my son, tony (!!!!!!!!)

gibbs was unfortunate(?) enough to be stuck with the most loyal set of ducklings

4x08

the only thing I DO like about the jeanne/la grenouille plot is jealous ziva

this cannot be admissible in court even with proper chain of evidence

totally platonic to be touching the entire side of your work partner’s body with your own tony would definitely sit that close to McGee by choice right it’s not just ziva

lee looks like a ballerina

sometimes they really go hard with the imperialistic propaganda

4x09

nepotism: both Sean and Troian getting jobs on ncis

MySpace im….okay

Jenny’s only here for the hot goss

see I don’t think Jenny realizes he’s talking about jeanne, I almost wonder if she thinks he’s talking about ziva

4x10

McGee thinks ziva’s in love with me (she is)

dad and grandpa are fighting and the kiddies don’t like it

pimmy jalmer

🎶sexually frustrated “platonic” partners🎶

you two done playing grab ass

you described everything in my bedroom (why weren’t they endgame?)

I do feel bad for tony. He was definitely put in a bad situation where he was taken advantage of (by NCIS/the director) without anyone to confide in, and of course it ended really, really badly

how can ziva even tell but anyways of course she’s jealous

the usual/the usual what - oof. That expression hurts. Poor ziva

you got that moustache in a box, don’t you

4x11

sexual harassment training

LICKING YOUR COWORKER’S FACE IS TOTALLY APPROPRIATE BEHAVIOUR ZIVA DAVID

why are you touching dead naked people?

I suppose at this point the viewers didn’t know that jeanne had anything to do with the undercover stuff tony was doing

ziva is concerned about her boooyfrieeend-seriously though

what part of inappropriate touching don’t you understand

romantic or not, ziva seriously gives several shits about tony and his well-being

dadman to the rescue

did Jenny…also not know????

ziva is so, so concerned ugh bb

4x12

I don’t know what my moas would be

unreservedly romantic tony

ahh, you two got married and didn’t tell me

I think it’s scary!

oh ziva.

why does ziva being so concerned make gibbs so uncomfortable 🤔👀

your other phone is never on silent

IT LITERALLY DID NOT OCCUR TO ZIVA DAVID, INTERNATIONAL INTELLIGENCE AGENT, THAT TONY COULD HAVE A GIRLFRIEND

LOOK AT THAT FACE

HOMEGIRL’S WORLD JUST GOT FLIPPED UPSIDE DOWN

oh z

so the pictures that mossad had at the beginning of the season of z/t - could those have been from the agents watching tony and jeanne now?

4x13

when your wife and your girlfriend are in the same room

sounds like you have something up your wazoo

when your boyfriend has two super intense daughters who could both kill your painfully and without evidence

ooh petulant ziva

I’m certain that they used the same hall for jeanne and Tim’s apartments

“it’s important to appreciate the competition” EXCUSE ME TONY the competition for WHO??? Ziva??????

what the FUCK tony

those two are unusually motivated to find sharif 👀

4x14

what’s a little state sanctioned kidnapping between friends, eh?

mark harmon was on st elsewhere, wasn’t he?

maybe now gibbs gets why ziva’s so concerned

z is so pretty in this episode

4x15

so Tony’s so in love with jeanne that he doesn’t notice ziva dancing provocatively in front of him, but not so in love with jeanne that he’ll get in between ziva and someone who’s attracted to her

he’s also a ziva-to-English translator

oh tony

Dead Man Walking

oh dear poor z

you didn’t make her promise not to destroy it, mcgee

brain training to figure out how ziva knows the dude

aquasmurf

meetcute

so does my spleen

we finish each other’s-sandwiches

her technique 👀

falling in love with a dying man is a fantastic idea z

(Professional follow-up)

oh z

red light behaviour!!!!!

the look on your face says you are

what’s that look on your face

gee tony if you’re so in love with jeanne why are you also so in love with ziva

are you okay?

good guy tony

4x17

I’m pretty sure that mausoleum exploded in Bones too

so. over. abby.

why do they just shit on ziva all the time on this stupid show, everyone she loves dies

when you break up with your girlfriend but she’s still jealous of your wifee 😬

4x18

she’s wearing Roy’s hat 😖

oof, boy’s got a face like a brick house

I don’t want to see you naked, either tony

cold elbow

or maybe you said something when you should have said something

I’m so not interested in this melodrama 🙄

not good?

4x19

oh tony

4x20

ziva is totally unimpressed by these shenanigans

uncomfortably reflecting upon McGee’s book and ziva looks like she’s about to cry 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

campfire!

4x21

all these investigators and none of them can figure out that it’s kort

4x22

jeanne, on a fishing expedition and tony, regretting his response

ziva, studiously avoiding tony’s face while tony processes his regrets

bad news from the, um, dentist? / something like that OOPS TONY OOPS

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍

she looks so hurt, ouuuch

like

she must realise how much in love she is with tony, even after roy

A GIRL LINGERS

long enough

tony/zeevah

that was...astonishingly cruel

like I can’t even comprehend

“it’s because you’re a good person” YOU DON’T DESERVE HER DINOZZO

you fuck

he’s right/he is?/i am?

4x23

noooooooooo

yeeeeeeeeees

buying a house is a loooooot

“Tony’s never vulnerable” maybe not around you, jeanne 👀

ha! I’m a normal man! I hate my wife!

I don’t know if I’m getting this ziva outfit mixed up with the one in bury your dead or if Something actually happens in this episode

something happens in this episode

so you’ll help me?

rip my little bi heart, she loves him

love you too, jeanne

poor z

4x24

I think sometimes she pretends not to know movies just to hear tony talk about them

OH NO THE BAR

to dry eyed mice

i have seen this episode an unhealthy number of times

I have a funny feeling, doctor

straight to voicemail, just like always when he’s with her

oooh z

tony?/what?!

why do you monitor tony?/i don’t monitor tony/oh yes you do, like a mother with a toddler

or a woman with a wayward lover

so if he’s profiling you, z, that means...there’s some truth to it?

tony is with his girlfriend, and you are worried about him

he is my partner, and my partner said he would be here and...and I have this not so good feeling

cut tooooooo a gun

aaaaand now to bury your dead.......

[whiskynottea]

The Ripple Effect

source

Previously Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14

AO3

Chapter 15. A daughter, a mother.

source

Women are supposed to have a biological clock.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick- time to have a baby.

I always found this concept of the woman’s body functioning as a time bomb rather unsettling. And sexist. Men’s bodies grow old as well, but I never saw an ominous future without reproduction hanging low over their heads.

I never felt that clock ticking. I never felt that I had to have a baby.

It wasn’t that I didn’t dream of a family – it was always there, at the back of my mind. Happy voices in a bright background, fairy tales read to serene faces with sleepy eyes and rosy cheeks, loud giggles when fingers found soft skin to tickle. It would eventually happen, somehow.  But I never believed that the sole purpose of my existence was to have children. There was so much more to be done.

Now I was a thirty-four-year-old mother-to-be. And with a swift move, the balance of my life had tilted towards one direction, making every thought roll towards the same destination.

My baby.

Our baby.

--

“Christ! I will be an auntie!” Jenny’s high-pitched voice went right through my brain when I told her the news over the phone. I could hear Ian in the background, explaining to young Jamie why his mother behaved like a loon. It took just a few moments for his cheery voice, louder than his mother’s, to come through the line. “A boy! Atie Caile make boy!”

I ran a hand on my stomach, smiling. “So, I see the baby orders have already begun.”

“Aye, they have. I vote for a girl, Claire, since we’re talking about it. And where is my clotheid brother?” Jenny asked, the elation clear in her voice.

“He’s right here, next to me.” I replied, feeling Jamie’s arm around my waist as he pulled me closer to him in our bed. Bending his head, he placed a soft kiss on my neck and took the phone. The grin on his face as he heard his sister congratulate him was so broad, that I felt my heart squeeze with a bittersweet feeling; happiness and loss. I was grateful for the family we had, but a part of me deeply wished we would have a few more people to share the news with. His parents, mine. Hugs that we’ve lost to soil and thin air, still sorely needed in sorrow and happiness.

We have each other, I thought, and snuggled closer to Jamie, savoring his musky smell, mingled with soap and cinnamon from the apple pie we’d made. His voice reverberated in his chest under my ear and I closed my eyes, dreaming of the same voice calling our baby’s name, tiny socks in my hands and the powdery smell of a newborn in the room. Jamie’s hand moved slowly from my waist to meet mine above my belly, his large fingers intertwining with mine, silently offering protection.

--

Geillis noticed the difference in me from the first five minutes we spent checking medical charts next day in the hospital.

“D’ye have anything to share, Claire?” She asked, placing her hands on her back, enhancing the effect of her protruding belly.

“Well, I thought I shouldn’t leave you grow huge and become a balloon all alone.” I smirked, leaving the chart on the desk. I felt my heart swell sharing the news, and my hands clasped hers tight.

“I knew yer Scot would take much stronger precautions against you leaving him again!” Geillis winked, smiling broadly. “I mean, the ring is verra beautiful, but with a baby he’s keeping ye with him forever.” Squeezing my upper arms with both her hands, she pulled me closer for a hug. “Congratulations, Claire. Ye too deserve some happiness.”

After discussing all the details about the pregnancy test, how Jamie reacted to the news, and making plans about our babies that would be born only with four months difference, we moved onto the serious conversation. A good obstetrician. Geillis lived in Glasgow almost all her life, and she new far more doctors than me. Most of the male doctors though, she knew much better than needed. Nurses and doctors wasn’t a new concept anyway.

Ten minutes later, with a tiny note featuring a few hastily scribbled black numbers in hand, I made an appointment with Geillis’ obstetrician, Dr. Dunsany. Geillis would swear by her doctor - the third one she visited during the first four months of her pregnancy and hopefully, her last one.

I knew, more or less, what the first visit to the doctor included, and I couldn’t wait to confirm the result of the pregnancy test. Apart from being a little anxious on Geillis’ choice of a doctor, I didn’t think about it overmuch.

At least not until the night before the appointment.

‘How I met your mother’ was playing on Netflix and Jamie and I cuddled on the couch, a plaid blanket with the Fraser colors – Jenny’s gift – covering almost all my body and half of Jamie’s who insisted that it was far too hot for this plaid.

I hadn’t realized that my mind started wandering and I had stopped watching the show. The TV colors became moving images without meaning, the actors’ voices a background noise that didn’t reach my ears.

Closing my eyes, I thought of life I cradled inside me.

Until a few days ago, I was a daughter.

Even if I wasn’t a conventional daughter, and all I had from my parents was blurred memories and pictures with dull colors saved in pale colored albums, that didn’t make me feel less of it. I may had never walked into the house after school, to plop myself onto a chair and announce that I’m hungry, waiting for a plate of food to miraculously land in front of me, and I never had anyone to call and ask which detergent is stronger to remove wine stains, but I was still a daughter for a simple reason; I wasn’t yet a mother.

No one’s hunger was my own responsibility. No one’s wine stains depended on me.

Now everything had changed. From the moment I saw that second pink line on the pregnancy test, that daughter had died.

I was to become a mother, and I had no family to share this with. I had no mother to call in the dead of the night, if didn’t want to scare Jamie with my foolish thoughts. I had no siblings to call and announce that they would become uncles and aunties.

It was the first time the absence of siblings hit me under such a light.

And then a darker thought followed.

Why didn’t I have siblings?

I’d spent countless days of my life wishing I would have a sister or a brother. Someone to share my life with, someone to know me and love me without questions. But now it was the first time I wondered about the reason behind this misfortune. I was five years old when my parents died. Most people already have a second child when their first reaches the age of five. My parents didn’t.

Why?

Were there any complications when my mother was pregnant with me?

Did she have a miscarriage later? Before?

Would my baby be safe, if I carried the incapability of being a mother in my genes?

I closed my eyes, trying not to panic. My breath became swallow, my throat dry, my eyes wet with unshed tears. I didn’t quite nail the ‘don’t panic’ thought.

What would I say to the doctor, once she asked me about the medical history of my family members? That I don’t know? That I have nobody to ask? That I have no mom to be by my side during this journey? To tell me stories of her pregnancy, to hold my hand when the final – terrifying – moment of giving birth was to come?

Was I good enough, to become a mother, anyway?

It was the first time in my life that I so desperately wanted to be a daughter. Not to avoid responsibility, but to have a mother smile to me when tears would be all I could see. To have a mother tell me that I would be a great mom, because she just knew it.

I didn’t know what mothers do. I didn’t even know if I could provide a proper environment for this poppy seed-sized baby to grow.

Jamie’s loud laughter startled me and I jerked against him, coming out of my reverie. My jolt and the absence of any trace of smile in my face made Jamie’s laughter stop abruptly.

“What is it, Sassenach? D’ye feel uncomfortable? Are ye nauseous again?” He made to stand up and carry me to the bathroom, but I stopped him with a tight grip on his arm. His abrupt moving actually made me nauseous, but that was the least of my problems.

“I’m fine.” I said, swallowing back the lump that formed in my throat. “Stay here.”

“What is it then?”

“Nothing. I’m perfectly fine.” I turned my eyes towards the TV, my gaze unfocused, lost in the bright colors.

“Ye have a perfectly fine frown formed on yer face, Sassenach. And I ken ye well enough to know that when ye say ye’re perfectly fine, ye never are. Plus, Barney just threw the girl’s leg in the fire and ye didna laugh!”

“Oh, it was that scene.” I said, realizing why Jamie had laughed so hard. I felt a smile slowly forming on my face, even though the muscles moved with effort, my mind asking them to do the impossible. The recollection of Ian’s terrified face, however, was strong enough to overshadow my previous thoughts. I could almost see his reaction that first time we watched the episode, as he glanced at his prosthetic leg, murmuring, ‘Great, more ideas for Jen to threaten me.’

“Aye, that’s the smile I was looking for.” Jamie planted a kiss on my forehead and held me tight. Held us tight.

Please, please let that baby be safe. Let me be enough to carry it safely.

“So?”

“So?”

“Ye won’t speak to me, Claire?” His question was painted by a mix of sadness and indignity.

No. I can’t lose you, too, now. You are all I have.

I took a deep breath and searched for his eyes. His blue pools were there, waiting for me, kind and honest. Jamie ran his hands up and down my arms, tracing paths with heartbreaking tenderness and leaving goosebumps behind.

“I’m afraid.” I whispered, as if admitting it loudly would make the monster eating my soul stronger.

“About what, my Sassenach?”

“About the baby. I don’t know, Jamie. I can’t guarantee that everything will be alright. If I –”

“Mo chridhe,” Jamie interrupted me, cupping my face with both hands. I felt his warmth sipping into my skin and his calmness flooding my heart, even before I listened a single word from what he intended to say to reassure me. “No one can do that. D’ye hear me? We canna be sure of anything. But we’ll do our best, for each other, and for the baby.” He paused, somber, his eyes boring deep into mine. “We’ll be the best versions of ourselves, mo ghraidh, and we will hope for the best.”

“But if I –”

“Claire,” Jamie placed his index finger over my mouth. “Ye’re enough. And I love ye. More than anything else. Ye ken that, aye?” He bent his head, replacing his finger with his lips. His kiss was slow and reassuring, settling the waves of fear that threatened to swallow me whole.

“What will I say to the doctor about my family’s medical history? I know nothing.” I was close to breaking into tears the moment I felt the air sneaking between us again, cooling my lips where he warmed them.

“We’ll say that we don’t know, Sassenach. We’ll do as the doctor says and everything will be alright. Whatever comes for us, we’ll handle it together.” 

I placed a hand over his heart and he grasped it, fingers interweaving rapidly in their own dance. I felt each steady beat under my hand, pulsing blood into his body, and I snuggled closer to him, his skin hot under my cheek. My heart followed the rhythm set by his, as my lungs inhaled the air he gifted me. Slow, calm, strong. Jamie kissed my forehead, holding me flush to him. “And when the baby comes to our little world,” he whispered between my curls in a dreamy voice, “We’ll learn how to be a family, the three of us, together.”

I closed my eyes and a smile came to tug my lips up. Easy, effortless. 

I might not be a daughter anymore, but I finally had a family.

My family.

Chapter 16