#Jelly Goop Monster

[bluepoodle7]

#Illbleed#JellyGoopMonster#IllbleedShockEventsTrapsThatRepeatWithRecolors

I got a gif video of the Coolant goop.

https://gifmaker.me/video-to-gif/viewimage/20240910-18-t1b60rFophSwaECb-3SI0VT-HNET

Running dick-first into every trap in Illbleed - YouTube

[nickmedoroart]

Inktober Day 5:

A JELLY CUBE!

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 6 thoughts

it’s been an exhausting day. work was awful. i was brave and didn’t cry whilst there. and for that, i deserve this episode even more than usual. 

oooooh it’s an internet episode!!!! an episode about an internet killer!!! that probably felt new and scary back then!!! i’m excited to see something i assume as naturally dangerous as hitchhiking to be seen as scary and new. let us jump in, and enjoy the adventures of our agents, and numb ourselves to the hardship of the outside world.

these two people are in a car. he is smooth talking her. oh… they only waited three months to meet in person after talking online. hmm… is that speedy or not? i guess that depends on who you ask. for me, i’m gonna say speedy. because they didn’t even see each other’s faces before this.

he has mysterious scars on his neck. yeah, i noticed that very conspicuous camera panning. the music is very ominous. and now they’re kissing. 

OH??? THERE IS A STICKY FLUID. IN HER MOUTH. an unusual one. not whatever you were thinking. what the hell… was that man some kind of insect????? there was real goop in there, man. eughhh it was very gross. 

cop is approaching the car next day. and she is like. jelly? as in, covered in gel. the gelatin monster has struck and apparently he’s surfing the net. 

(trust when i say i’m not a gelatin monster. or don’t trust. perhaps skepticism is better)

okay, investigation time. this guy shakes hands with mulder and entirely ignores scully. tells me a lot about his character very quickly. mulder has also got some more conventional looking shades this time around. perhaps his other ones were just not keeping the sun out like he had hoped for.

body reveal! so it seems that the goop has um. melted her skin? EUGH. mulder swabs the goop. it’s just a prop, i tell myself to avoid gagging. a prop with excellent construction that was very carefully crafted. shoutout prop team as always. 

detective looks real freaked out by the goop. yeah he’s not special in that regard.

mulder says he has heard of similar killings from women placing ads in the paper! i don’t want them to separate though, as he announce he’s going on an investigation while she does an autopsy. c’mon, can’t we do some teamwork in the same room?

scully looks disgusted at the bloody goop in her hand. this is appearing to be a universal sentiment.

the goop man is at the computer typing to another woman. and smiling mischievously. we learn, from a woman dropping a key off at his door, that his name is mr. incanto, and she thinks that since he types and gets a lot of packages, he must be a writer or an editor. and she wants him to read her poems. wow. leaping to conclusions here. i admire it. it’s clear she’s flirting with him, and the idea of a person you’re attracted to reading your poems is a wild one for me to entertain. personally i would rather explode crazy style.

scully is scrubbed up <3 and she is so cute <3 i don’t mean this in a condescending way… she just looks cute in a fully “i respect her capabilities” kind of way. don’t worry. but this man is not respecting her and is shocked she’s a doctor. rude as hell… could never be me.

he says he’s old fashioned. umm okay if you want to be all manly about it how about you cut up the goop body yourself… oh that’s right you can’t. because you don’t have the skill set. or even any skill sets, as far as i can tell.

he says this is effecting her judgement because the victim is a woman and he isn’t being sexist. IF YOU DON’T SHUT YOUR MOUTH MAN…. she is so patient even when she ought to rip his heart from his chest with her teeth

she’s making a face when he leaves like she really IS thinking about doing some heart ripping and then she gets into the recording mode. and the body has increased in goopiness. in fact. there is only a skeleton now and a LOT of liquid. oh… 

mulder is asking about the murder victim, and he’s sitting on a very 90’s printed couch, and yeah he looks good. don’t worry about it. he’s asking the victim’s roommate what chat room they met in. now personally, if i was talking to people on a chat room, i would not be telling my roommate the names of said chat rooms, but maybe it was different vibe wise at that time. imagine if my roommate knew i ran a blog like this. i couldn’t picture such a thing. and the victim would READ her roommate the letters???!? OH I CANNOT IMAGINE SUCH A THING!!!!

he uses the roommate’s house phone to call scully, who is dealing with a very wet skeleton. but that’s so funny to me. he wanted to use someone else’s phone to call her. maybe his phone still hadn’t been replaced since that kid melted it in episode 3.

he’s putting out a localized online warning… is that a thing? wow. you learn so much on this television program.

“in life, bones have the tensile strength of forged iron”, says scully. and i’m giggling. n kicking my feet.

ohhh the bone is SQUISHY. it is not supposed to be this way. but it did look quite satisfying. again, props team, shoutout.

oh tea… the body fat wasn’t there!!! it disappeared. scully is like, why would he do that, steal a victim’s fat. and i would love to know the same thing. 

another woman is preparing to meet with the goop monster. oh, but someone is telling her there was a warning SPECIFICALLY for woman in cleveland to not go meet people online! but she’s like nooo i’m a good judge of character. LIES LIES LIES. she’s only been talking to him for a MONTH???? HOW CAN YOU JUDGE A CHARACTER IN A MONTH?

the killer’s at a fancy restaurant looking place with a bouquet of flowers and he’s checking his watch. oh and he dumps the flowers!!! queen of self preservation saved herself tonight by standing him up??? yes, it appears this is the case!! 

now there are a bunch of ladies on the side of the road. i have only seen this happen in this show and never in real life, but maybe i'm not looking in the right direction. NO! he sees a woman and smiles. they go to a back alley… no!! but she won’t kiss him. okay, i think, she has a chance. alas. i was wrong. so he attacks. OH AND HE IS SLURPING ON HER BODY???? another woman finds her goop-ified. 

they’re at the scene and the detective is being awful (shocker!) but mulder hands over some of the letters from the killer, and notes that they contain letters from 16th century italian poems. which tells me he is familiar with 16th century italian poems. ohhhhhhhhhh. blushing a lil. 

focus. so the fellow would have access to niche italian poems, is what we are learning here. likely a college professor, or a grad student, or something along those lines.

the killer should also have a wound pattern, they note, because the woman scratched him very well.

and BLEGHHHH, cut to his place, where he’s cutting his wound??? like straight up trimming it like it’s fabric or something. nasty nasty nasty nasty!!!

someone is bringing him a package. and the woman who asked to show him her poems asks him to dinner?!?!?! but he says he’s busy. the teenage daughter reads him for filth. he’s creepy and smells weird. delivered by a girl who meant every word she said.

scully is posing impeccably, looking as someone types on a computer. it was formidable.

mulder comes by with some results and he sort of. scoops her out of the room. 😳

theory time in the hallway! hallway theory time!! always one of my favorite times. “okay, it’s not yet the finely detailed insanity that you’ve come to expect from me” <- at least he’s self aware 

FAT SUCKING VAMPIRE LET’S GOOOO. such a preposterous creature. i have to admire it.

there are examples of this in nature, right? “i don’t know too many scorpions who surf the internet” scully, you just offended the coolest scorpion alive somewhere out there. but they couldn’t hear you so it’s okay. just don’t ever say that again…

scully wants to brief the people involved in the case and the detective is again being weird. mulder recognizes this. i can see it.

okay, so the killer has some more niche italian poetry. and an email from the woman who saved herself by not showing up! nooo, i thought she had escaped!

knock at the door. it’s scully. but not at the door of the right guy!! the detective is at the door of the right guy!!! 

mulder makes some remark about not being a good salesman because no one answered the door. and yeah i giggled. but she cuts him off with the fact the detective hasn’t answered his calls or returned… has he been gooped?!

now the killer is out with the woman who previously saved herself. and she sees his skin. and she offers to drive him home!!! noooo ellen :( don’t fall for his tricks and lies

the poetry woman is at his door. she puts a HUGE thing of poems under his door. 

but back in the car he is about to smooch ellen. somehow poetry lady let herself into his room??? and a bunch of flies are around. 

(we later learn she was the housekeeper or landlord or something so yeah. she would have access to the keys. but at the time i was baffled)

goop monster and ellen don’t smooch because he sees the poem lady is in his room!!! and the detective is in the tub!!! and he walks in right as she sees this!!! oh no. violence ensues…

her daughter comes to the door. and asks where her mom is. and he GRABS her weird as hell. and says he’s leaving.

mulder is sitting on a table again because he’s weird. but the girl calls the police!!! and they found her mom’s body and the detective's. the little girl asks scully why someone would do this and she says she doesn’t know… STOP I’LL SOB

okay, this dude’s name is virgil and there are no records of him existing. virgil. damn. maybe he’s FROM 16th century italy, because that’s a 16th century sounding name. are there any italian legends of fat sucking vampires? can’t say i’m very familiar with their lore 

they’re trying to get into his computer and all the files were deleted. ohhh they have floppy disks!!! i love floppy disks 💾

the killer went to ellen’s place?!!?!? and she locks the door. ellen please pull out a glock at this time. 

scully sent out a warning to everyone in proximity. and three of them were already missing!!!! that is evil :(

and ellen got the email but he’s in the room. and he starts attacking… oh lord, just as the agents roll up. 

they get in formation and then kick down her door and WHEW they way they work as a team… i’m eating it up. sweeping the rooms. guns cocked. 

ellen is under some sheets and coated in goop whilst mulder does parkour to go and find this guy. GO GO MULDER RUN RUN!!! his voice is all growly while he holds a shadowy figure at gunpoint, but he only runs into a teenager. no! poor kid :(

NOOO… THE KILLER WAS HIDING IN THE BATHROOM AND SCULLY WAS GOING IN THERE TO GET SOME STUFF TO TAKE CARE OF ELLEN!! he smashed her head in the mirror and he starts to goop her until ellen does in fact roll up with a glock. and shoots him in the chest. YES ELLEN I KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU <3

so they have him in custody now and his skin is suuuuuuper dry and peeling and nasty. and scully asks what the hell he was doing and he goes on about stuff blah blah blah and then he quotes some italian and she gets freaked and dips. and we end with a hannibal-esque shot of his evil peeling nasty face. and some contemplative music.

so. that was gross.

grossness established. i once again kind of enjoyed this episode. like was i gagging, and not in the good way? yeah i was. but again with the suspense. i think the plot could be absolutely ridiculous- like an actual fat vampire- and if the plot and pacing are the right tempo, i’ll find myself fully absorbed into it. 

but i can’t help but feel that i’m missing something. the italian seemed too purposeful. is there some medieval tale of a fat vampire? i’m being so serious btw like actually. is that a reference that flew over my head? is it in dante’s inferno or something? i love history but middle ages europe always puts me to sleep so i can’t say i’m familiar with the literature or tropes beyond what i learned in art history class. where we never covered ANY sort of vampire. just a lot of baby jesus and also mary and sometimes adult jesus. 

hmm. so i’m wondering here what that was about. and yeah, i could google it. but again, more fun when you tell me things.

i mean, if it was something they just made up for fun, i get that too. like earlier we had that evil mermaid baby that lived in the waterways. and we had that evil twin that looked like the fiji mermaid. and eugene tooms the lizard man. the seriousness with which the situation is played enhances the campy angle when you ponder it.

overall, it was interesting to see a world where the internet was new and fresh and scary. now it’s scary in mostly familiar ways. but it was not always this way! and while i am a little confused on the concept of the episode itself- who exactly our monster of the week was, if he even WAS a monster of traditional sort of means- i won’t lie, the episode had me invested. there were also moral questions raised about how someone could do something so evil, specifically in relation to scully’s character, which probably speaks to her biggest fear being that anyone could pose a threat, which i think i’ll contemplate at another time, because it is fascinating, especially when you consider… i think it’s s2 episode 13? where the narrative also really dives into this question. how can people do evil things, and how can good people cope with knowing that it’s impossible to know who is capable of doing terrible things?

after a hard day at work in which a million things went sideways, it does feel nice to watch my pals mulder and scully do some sleuthing, no matter the situation in which they find themselves.

the goopsterrrrrrrr

[tarnishedinquirer]

Location: Church of Pilgrimage

Once I emerged from the woods, I saw a group of wandering nobles heading up a hill towards a church. That seemed like a good place to stop next. Sitting outside was a ghost that spoke of a wandering mausoleum holding a soulless demigod, "Marika's unwanted child."

A wandering mausoleum? I pulled out my spyglass and scanned the horizon.

An impossibly large figure in the mist and the dark. At first I thought it was a building, but then I noticed it appeared to be standing on legs. I'd mistake it for a trick of the light, were it not for the ghost's words.

The graveyard was haunted by spirit jellies, and as soon as I stepped into it, skeletons began to rise from their graves. I dispatched them (the skeletons, not the jellies) and found a dead commoner slumped against a grave, holding a gilded iron shield. The way he was holding the shield made it look more like an offering than a failed defense.

For the first time I really started to think about these skeletons. They wear unique armor and carry unique weapons. It's as if they were all buried with the same grave goods, possibly from the same once-widespread culture. I don't recall any of them carrying shields like this, but it's something to keep in mind for the future. If only their equipment didn't decay along with their bones when they're slain.

Alarm bells started to go off as I picked up the Sacred Tear from the feet of the statue. Something wasn't right. I stepped back to get a better look and... who the hell is that? I'm pretty familiar with the icon of Marika. We even had her statue beyond the fog, but she looked a little more... alive, in those depictions. So who was this man in her place, and in the pose I'm more familiar with from all the church I skipped? What's that in the background, some sort of lattice?

If this is a church of pilgrimage, he must be a figure revered in this land on par with Marika. And this particular church, or at least this region, must be important to him.

Contemplating things by the Grace, I was again joined by Melina. She offered to tell me words once spoken by Marika here. So she at least approved of this worship. Her words seemed like a direct continuation of her words at the Third Church.

Then, after thy death, I will give back what I once claimed. Return to the Lands Between, wage war, and brandish the Elden Ring. Grow strong in the face of death. Warriors of my lord. Lord Godfrey.

So Godfrey was Marika's lord. Until now, I had assumed he was merely the Lord of Stormveil. And she stripped him and my ancestors of their Grace and sent them into the world, in hope that we would grow strong and one day return.

A reasonable assumption, then, would be that this church was dedicated to Godfrey. This was a place of pilgrimage, where people would go awaiting the return of Godfrey and his Tarnished. So that statue must be Godfrey.

At least now I have a face to put with the name. I wonder if he too has returned?

One last thing I found here: Some strange golden centipedes that the voice told me were crafting material.

Kept as a fetish by Golden Order fundamentalists, especially the hunters of Those Who Live in Death. As such, they are found near churches and similar. 

That's interesting. I've only ever known centipedes as a symbol of corruption. In the Land of Reeds, all vermin are considered corrupt, but centipedes in particular are often emblematic of kegare, a sort of spiritual filth and sickness. If the Golden Order Fundamentalists hold these as sacred, they're immediately suspect in my book.

I'm also guessing that "Those Who Live In Death" is what they call the undead here, to differentiate them from the ones who are somehow still alive despite becoming walking mummies or goop monsters. I'm not saying all that though, so I'll just keep calling them skeletons.

Questions:

Why would the Fundamentalists hold the centipede as sacred?

Why did Marika divest Godfrey of his Grace?

Why do the skeletons only wear unusual and archaic armor?

Why did Marika forsake her demigod children?

[toiletdestroyer3415]

here's the silly little pikmin wraith I've been holding hostage in my brain.

meet the amber wraith!

for visualization, he's an amber-orange color (obviously) and takes on the form of a wormy fella. his core is shaped like an egg and is a glossy black color with two glimmer (✨) shapes on each side of the egg, with the pointy end turning and twisting around inside the goop whenever he wants to focus on something.

this guy is a WEAKLING. unlike other wraiths, his body can't absorb mass normally since he has ZERO digestive enzymes and he can't quite solidify himself aside from a sort of 'squishy but not goopy' form. that means his core is very very vulnerable.

BUT. he has a gimmick.

he's able to possess creatures up to ten times his size, and use them as a sort of puppet/mouth so they can digest food FOR him, like a parasite. and his core is buried somewhere in there so he has a better defense.

he can trap creatures in place by surrounding them and forming a little structure similar to hydro jelly in terms of consistency, but this takes up his own goop. this is either to 'wear' them for later or come back controlling a host so he can eat whatever he's trapped.

I made a silly little thing where he sort of kind of is holding an entire human being hostage.

not a captain. a human.

he originally had a lot more mass coming onto PNF-404 but the gravity didn't allow him to keep much of his form, so he had to shrink down. with all the excess mass he couldn't carry around, he trapped a perfect candidate to be 'worn', a human that, unfortunately, happened to be around! and yes, it was scared! very scared!

so now he's just holding it hostage until the time is right to bring it out, since when trapping creatures, it has a unique ability to act like a time capsule and prevent creatures from moving or aging without needing food or water.

this is because it has regenerative properties! so he's not just holding a human hostage, he's molding it to become the biggest, baddest beast. he's done this before with other creatures, but he's taking his sweet time perfecting his 'weapon,' as he likes to call it. so PNF-404 has plenty of time before some horrid, gigantic, ancient beast is unleashed by a crazy mass of orange goop. also he forgot that humans were sentient and overrid it's brain, essentially wiping its memory and turning it into a stupid two-legged monster. oops!

luckily, on every creature he possesses, there's a cute little weak spot somewhere marked by a little splotch of orange goop. since it's vulnerable to most elements, attacking it enough times will cause him to lose mass and in turn, lose control of whatever body he's currently using if attacked enough times, and he'll be ejected from the host and needs to run away. plus he sucks at controlling beasts and they are usually slower than normal whenever he's controlling them, especially on larger species like bulblaxes. so the human he plans to possess is going to be hella slow, slow enough to give whatever fearless soul(s) brave enough to face him a good chance at defeating him.

for now though, he's just hiding in his cave plotting evil stuff. he's not good at it, but he's still evil.

since he can't solidify like other wraiths, he can't mimic captains. but what's to stop him from possessing one? nudge nudge

[thoughtfuldolia]

Ah, nothing like waking up sick as a dog, sprawled on a hard surface, greeted with the fresh scent of the embodiment of the words sharp and bitter.

Kukui tore the tubes from his throat and twisted to his stomach, pulling and breaking various sensors hooked to him. He put pyukumuku’s organ spitting ability to shame as he. . . pyuked all over the sparkly aether tile.

Goop and refuse as thick as jelly and sticky as chewed gum exited. Kukui couldn’t breathe for a good minute, choking on the rancid taste and thick flesh he’d just hacked out. His head smacked the table whilst bodies of white suits flashed all around him.

Kukui and Burnet only shared one glass of wine before she left to see her mother last night. He couldn’t be this hungover. Heck, he’d never gotten drunk before. He wondered if this was what people normally experienced: hallucinations about turning into a monster and watching panicked people slip in his mess.

[fruit-salad-ship]

How is too horny even possible for these three‽

It’s not for them, but it was for me?? Surprised myself that’s all haha!

The situation where you write something, reread and realise only then that you’ve created a fuckable monster. Example:

Plum finally seeing Impulse freaks her out, panic, fear, stress, all the things you’d expect. Imp is practical, knows humans are simple creatures, to stop her host freaking out she overloads her with serotonin. Can’t run away and stress out if you’re having a lot of fun with your new alien goop, and your legs are jelly, and arms. You’re a heap on the floor, you have been railed so much, and for so long, and really well because alien is in your head and knows what you want, all the issues of being freaked out seem less concerning. Plum was not hurt, quite the opposite. She is more reasonable to talk to after.

And this is the tip of the iceberg here. It gets so much worse/better.

[crockpotshowdown2023]

Here are the first round matchups! If you have questions, comments or complaints the askbox is open but no rearrangements will be rearranged after the voting starts.

Main Bracket: Tea vs Iced Tea vs Coffee Monster Lasagna vs Fist Full of Jam Jelly-O Pop vs Gummy Cake Surf 'n' Turf vs Lobster Dinner California Roll vs Unagi Banana Pop vs Fancy Spiralled Tubers Frozen Banana Daiquiri vs Vegetable Stinger Jelly Salad vs Mushy Cake Mandrake Soup vs Lobster Bisque Hard Shell Tacos vs Fish Tacos Figkabab vs Feijoada Fishsticks vs Kabobs Bunny Stew vs Guacamole Asparagus Soup vs Seafood Gumbo Steamed Ham Sandwich vs Leafy Meatloaf Ratatouille vs Stuffed Eggplant Beefy Greens vs Spicy Chili Turkey Dinner vs Fig-Stuffed Trunk Barnacle Pita vs Froggle Bunwich Ceviche vs Barnacle Nigiri Breakfast Skillet vs Tropical Bouillabaisse Shark Fin Soup vs Snake Bone Soup Tall Scotch Eggs vs Honey Ham Soothing Tea vs Milkmade Hat Figgy Frogwich vs Taffy Stuffed Fish Heads vs Plain Omelette Butter Muffin vs Pumpkin Cookies Salsa Fresca vs Melonsicle Powdercake vs Trail Mix Caviar vs Veggie Burger Stuffed Pepper Poppers vs Pierogi Figatoni vs Dragonpie Meaty Stew vs Jellybeans Bacon and Eggs vs Waffles Banana Shake vs Fruit Medley Meatballs vs Honey Nuggets Ice Cream vs Creamy Potato Purée Bisque vs Barnacle Linguine Nettle Rolls vs Flower Salad

Chef’s Specials: Puffed Potato Soufflé vs Sweet Potato Soufflé Hot Dragon Chili Salad vs Asparagazpacho Fresh Fruit Crepes vs Grim Galette Volt Goat Chaud-Froid vs Monster Tartare Fish Cordon Bleu vs Glow Berry Mousse Moqueca vs Mussel Bouillabaisse vs Bone Bouillon

0 Hunger Specials: Wet Goop vs Steamed Twigs Amberosia vs Beefalo Treats

[cute-girls-from-vns-anime-manga]

it starts with goop from ben 10 alien force and before you know it you want to get married to lime jelly in the shape of a woman

Started for me with Monster Musume and Kamidori...

[jenbobbyy]

GUIDE TO NAMES!

Specimen 2

Gel - from 'CANNOT_RELEASE_GEL_TWICE' error note at repeat 60

Jelly - from Pakpak (video essay) or a general fanon name

Goop - from Wambu (interview/video essay) or a general fanon name

Slimemonster - ingame model name

Specimen 3

One, two and three - fanblog names, @z0nie i think?

Centispiders/Spiderpedes - general fanon name

Arthropod Hybrid - wiki name

Subject 5 - notes

Specimen 4

Ringu - official, model/wiki/interview

Matsuri - some theories, but she's a girl killed in the notes

Specimen 5

Bab - official, model/wiki/interviews

Strawberry - comes from 'LUSTING STRAWBERRY' chase theme

MOTHER - theories, notes

Specimen 6

Ben - official, model/wiki/interviews

The Merchant - comes from 'THE MERCHANT' chase theme

The Puppet - mostly used in video essays or gameplays and not super relevant

Specimen 7

Wall of Flesh - unsure, mentioned in kira interview

The White Cat - official, credits

Hugo - @z0nie maybe? seen this one used a few times

Specimen 8

Deer Lord - official, model 'DL'

Deer God - common fanon name

Specimen 9

TAKER - official, model and... yeah.

Specimen 10

Parasite - official, model

Specimen 11

Food Demon - official, model 'FD'

Beef/Burger/Mcdonalds/Arby's Demon - common fanon names

Specimen 12

Mansion within a mansion - canon? mentioned in kira interview

Mansionception - fanon name

Perry - probably another z0nie? But could also be a general askblog name

Room 810 - canon, duh

Paranormal structure - wiki

Specimen 13

Mermaid - canon? model label

Siren - common fanon name

The Host

The Host - canon? mentioned in Cat-Dos

Vlogger - also canon! see endless notes, they're the same poor guy

Old Man - fanon? wiki + interviews but cant find a source

Vernon Shaw - that's just his voice actor..

Stanley - started by @z0nie and widely accepted as fanon

Richard - from a horrible, horrible fanfic. God, please. No.

The Protagonist

Protag - i mean....

Specimen 14 - bad end fanon name, SUPER widely accepted, almost canon

Maxwell - @genericspookysaskblog

Monster 1

Officer/Security guard - may be canon, cant remember model name will update

Monster 2

Bodybag - model, canon, model

Monster 3

Babyface - fanon?

Monster 4

The Hanged Man - canon, model and wiki

T-Rex - chase theme 'T-REX CANT WEAR MITTENS' and Pakpak video essay

Monster 5

Ghost cow - model, canon

Angus - fanon

Mad cow - fanon

Monster 6

Bekka - model, canon, Rebecca Black

Monster 7

Scarechair - fanon?

US1

Whiteface/WF - canon! see IMSCARED; A PIXELATED NIGHTMARE

US2

Otto - canon, kira was bugged about FNAF according to interview

US3

Spooper - canon, model

US4

Tirsiak - canon, credits?

US5

Lisa - canon, see SILENT HILL PT

All dollhouse names are widely canon - models and such, but I'll go over them anyways;

Woormy Charles, Hooked Doll, Husks, Frenzy, etc

Names like Carl, WAM and Howard are canon, made up by Kira and Sheena for 'the kids on the wiki'

If you have any additions or changes, LMK!

EDIT: thank you @genericspookysaskblog for the tips!!

The fun part about starting a Spooky's hyperfixation is figuring out what names are official and what are just made up. (I cannot for the life of me figure out if specimen 7 is actually known as the wall of flesh or not).

[bluepoodle7]

#Illbleed#JellyGoopMonster#IllbleedShockEventsTrapsThatRepeatWithRecolors

I got a gif video of the Kids Pool.

https://gifmaker.me/video-to-gif/viewimage/20240910-18-Rtyqi2ayffCCoX6i-KnmSGA-HNET

Running dick-first into every trap in Illbleed - YouTube

[giantmonster]

[fan-da-nerd]

I have spent the last 5 hours working on something very dumb

at midnight last night I decided to try and figure out what is the best food in Don’t Starve Together, so today I sat down to figure it out. This is gonna be a long post so if you wanna follow me down this rabbit hole join me below the line

OK! lets lay down some ground rules before we start

1. this is specifically for crock pot recipes, so no normal foods 

2. we will also not be including Warly’s recipes because what this is looking for is the overall best recipe for any character, practicality included so as nice as Warly’s recipes are we will not be counting them today.

3. These are just about the recipes in Don't starve together, so recipes only available in Don’t starve, Hamlet or Shipwrecked

4. I considered making whether or not it has meat in it a factor in the math but because that can be a pro or con depending on the character your playing I just decided to skip it

5. no event foods, so we won’t be counting foods like the winter feast foods

6. this is by golf rules, we want the lowest score possible.

Now that the Rules have been laid out lets get to it!

Step one, Organizing

 The easiest step was just to sort them by each category; sanity, hunger and health, Highest to lowest. The top of each category gets a one, second highest gets a two, all the way down the line. If multiple foods have the same value they all get the same placement. Heres how the top spot of each shook out

Hunger: Mandrake soup and meaty stew at 150 (the Milkmade hat was also given the first place because it does give you 187.5 hunger but its over a longer time and it just an odd food/item)

Sanity: Ice cream, jelly salad and Wobster dinner all at 50

Health: Jellybeans at 122. Not a good food in general but its a solid health item

Step two, Ingredients

for this category we are looking for the easiest food to make ingredients wise. I’ve separated the ingredients into 3 categories and each group is assigned a point value, easiest gets the lowest score. 

1 point: foods at are found with little two no effort and in abundance.  Recipes with a “anything” ingredient will also get 1 point (morsels, fish, berries, carrots, sticks, etc..)

2 points: takes a bit of effort but not are terribly rare (turkey legs, honey, eggs, leafy meat, etc.) 

3 points: rare drops, single seasonal foods or can only be found in specific areas like at sea or in caves (bananas, figs, butter, cactus flower, etc.)

Step 3, modifiers 

The last step to figure out the best food. There’s two modifiers that apply to this formula; if they actively subtract from one of the stats then we will add a point to the score, if it is the favorite food of one of the characters then a point will be subtracted.

Final totals 

Now that we’ve laid out all the criteria and I’ve tallied the results, heres what we have! the lowest possible score is 6, and with a score of 14 the best food in DST is....

Surf’N’Turf!

with 60 health, 37.5 hunger and 33 sanity its a solid food. requiring  2.5 points of meat and 1.5 points of fish to make its not too bad if you have a ocean fishing rod and any good source of morsels to make. It also gets a bonus due to it being Wickerbottom’s favorite. While this was not accounted for within the formula, this is also a food that Wigfrid can eat.

In general, seafood scored pretty well in this formula. Surf’n’Turf, Wobster dinner and seafood gumbo all landed in the top 5.

 For the Wurt mains out there, The best vegetarian meal is Mandrake soup with a 16, or Dragonfruit pie at 18 if you don’t want to use a mandrake for food. 

And for those who are curious, the worst food ended up being Powdercake with a score of 36 which does make sense as it is kinda a joke food item. 

Top and bottom 5

top 5

Surf’N’Turf

wobster dinner

mandrake soup

seafood gumbo

Dragon fruit pie

bottom 5

Powdercake

Monster Lasagna (This score would change for Webber but this is not accounting that and besides, its not a good food no matter how you cut it)

 Wet Goop (honestly surprised it did as well as it did)

Milkmade hat and Mushy cake both at 30 (taffy also had 30 but it’s also Wanda's favorite so I let it go up a rank)

Taffy

[ahatintimepieces]

He’s Going to be Okay

I wrote a little fic for @doodledrawsthings ahit “Coffee shop AU” about one of Luka’s early days working at The Horizon! Nothing fancy but I got the idea and just went with it. Please enjoy!

              Luka flexed his four fingers against his coiled torso, staring at the thick purple prongs with tempered despair. Yes, he had been getting used to his new fluid body after traveling around for a few years, but now that he had recently started working at The Horizon, he found himself aching for his human body even more.

              Whenever he shapeshifted, he became acutely aware of just how much he had changed. While making coffee or wiping down tables, he could feel how flexible his arms and fingers were, like they were those cylindrical jelly toys meant to slip out of children’s hands the second they were squeezed too hard. He always feared if he grabbed a carafe or a customer’s change too firmly, his hands would melt back into purple goop.

              Blinking, he ran his hand through the fur on his head. He had to get up. Hattie was at school, which he was so grateful that a chance for her to have a normal life as a kid again, and he had work, which was another wonderful blessing. But he was so tired.

              Shaking himself as he uncoiled and floated over to the bathroom, he gazed at his reflection in the mirror. His pair of golden, glowing eyes and jack-o-lantern smile stared back at him. He longed for nothing more than to see his familiar, human features, but just the idea of shapeshifting just then drained him of non-existent energy.

              Come on! He could do this! He had been working full time and taking grad classes on top of being a single father before all of this! He didn’t know the meaning of fatigue! Surely, he could keep his liquid body in the right shape for one measly shift!

              Determined, he shrunk himself enough to curl his tail at the base of the sink as he gripped the edges. He stared into the mirror. It was only his forth day on the job and he wasn’t going to be late! He stared at his golden eyes, using the promise of coffee to summon enough strength to—

              He groaned and hunched over the sink, closing his eyes and shaking his head.

              Okay. New plan! He would grab some clothes and commute as a noodle. Maybe a short flight through the forest would wake his body up enough to change.

              Once he collected his things, he shrunk himself and snuck outside through his bedroom window. Luckily, most everyone in the complex had either left for work or school, so he only needed to slip past an older couple sitting on a bench at the boarder of the forest. He flew behind him, using their own shadows for cover, and darted into the woods.

              Use the shadows to hide. Think about the coffee waiting at work. Remember he’s doing this for Hattie. Hattie. He has to be able to support her. His daughter is all he had left, and he knew he could be okay as long as he had her.

              Feeling a touch more rejuvenated from both his mental pep talk and the fresh forest air, Luka landed behind the usual tree he used as cover when he started to slip in work. From his tree, he could smell the roasted coffee and his mouth watered. While Hattie did make him breakfast that morning—complete with lots of bacon, as if his sweetheart knew he needed an extra boost—he found himself still hungry. He vaguely wondered if all the shapeshifting lately required more fuel as well as sleep, but he shoved those thoughts down swiftly.

              He didn’t really have time to dwell on these things.

              With concentration, he first focused on shifting into a humanoid shape. The fluff around his neck easily molded into tufts of soft hair and shrinking his length to his human height was also a breeze. The hard part was splitting his tail into legs and his mittens into hands. But soon, he found himself standing—oh standing! How he missed feeling firmly planted on the ground on two feet!—and he could flex his humanoid fingers and thumbs. Next came his features, which he manifested while he shimmied into his pants.

              Nose. Teeth that weren’t fangs. Human eyes—with pupils and everything!—and brows. He skipped the ears because he figured his hair would cover them anyway and he was still so tired. Cutting corners on his appearance might help. Soon enough, he felt himself in proper human-shape, even if he still felt like a water balloon with his innards shifting around in a magic shell.

              As he buttoned his shirt—something so normal felt so good—he focused on changing his color to match how he was before. Brown hair, chestnut eyes, and not a drop of purple anywhere on his skin. He inhaled a steadying breath and walked around the shop and towards the entrance.

              “Hey there, Luka,” MJ called from the cash register as Luka briskly walked towards the back. “How was drop-off?”

              Drop-off? It took Luka a second as he put on his apron before he registered that MJ was asking about dropping Hattie off at school—the reason Luka had said he couldn’t take an early shift.

              “Oh, yeah,” Luka offered a nervous smile. He felt bad not only that he had to lie about the real reason but also because he wished he could have walked Hattie to school instead of being confined to the apartment as a weird purple snake monster. “It was fine. She seems to be making friends already.”

              That, he realized gratefully, was true and he couldn’t be happier for his daughter.

              But it also meant he really needed to make sure he didn’t screw up this job.

              “That’s great!” MJ offered a warm smile before turning back to the customers, his blue hair bouncing on top his head with his movement.

              Luka glanced down as he tied his apron, smiling softly.

              “Enough chatting!” Clover appeared from the back with a tray of plastic-wrapped pastries in hand. “Luka, can you get started on making drinks?”

              “Oui, Chef!” Luka saluted, which earned an eyeroll from Clover.

              “We outsource the pastries, you goof!” She gave him a gentle nudge before restocking the reserves beneath the display case.

              Instead of quipping back, Luka just laughed as he crossed over to the espresso machine, where cups with orders were already lined up.

              It felt good, he marveled, laughing with coworkers. How long had it been since he just spent time with friends? His gaze lingered on his human hand as he grabbed a cup.

              Too long, he decided.

              The first half of the shift went by in a blur. The mornings were always busiest, leaving Luka pushing out cup after cup. It wasn’t until MJ handed him the last order that Luka let himself relax long enough to breathe. Even then, when he read MJ’s instructions on what coffee to make, it just read, “Luka’s Favorite.”

              “What?” Luka glanced over at MJ, taking a moment to briefly scan the room for anyone waiting for coffee.

              “You’ve earned it,” MJ answered as his gaze narrowed on something in front of him and furrowed his brows. MJ removed his red-rimmed glasses and frowned at an apparent smudge before using the edge of his apron to clean up the lens. “I don’t know your favorite though,” MJ looked back up, squinting slightly at Luka without his glasses. “You’ll have to tell me a few times before I remember, as a heads up.”

              “Chestnut-infused Columbian Bean with cream and sugar,” Luka replied softly, smiling as he started to make himself a cup. “What about you?”

              MJ pushed his glasses back onto his nose and was about to respond before he titled his head with concern.

              “Dude, you alright? You’ve got some pretty gnarly bags under your eyes.”

              Luka’s heart dropped into his stomach as he instinctively lifted a hand to his face.

              “Um, mind if I—” Luka gestured towards the bathroom and MJ nodded. Luka practically threw himself into the cramped employee bathroom and glanced up.

              Oh no.

              Sure enough, purple was starting to spread, starting at the base of his eyes. In addition, his chestnut irises were starting to reflect gold in the dim bathroom light. He glanced down at his hands, his usual indicator that he was out of time in his human-shape. They remained untouched by purple and he still had his thumbs.

              Okay. Maybe this wasn’t so bad. He had made it through most of the shift and might be able to stick it out the rest of the day. Looking exhausted was fine, so long as he still looked human.

              He inhaled a deep, calming breath. He would be fine. He just needed a cup of coffee and that should tide him over. He could stick it out! He could do this!

              He returned to the counter with an anxious smile plastered on his face. MJ was wiping down the top of the display case when Luka went to finished making his coffee. While he poured the cream, he noted his hands were shaking but he ignored them.

              “Luka,” MJ asked as Luka lifted the steaming cup to his lips, “is everything okay?”

              “Oh yeah!” Luka smiled but he soon felt two sharp somethings—his fangs, he realized with dread—dig into his bottom lip. Panic gripped his chest and he glanced down at his hand holding the coffee cup.

              The tips of his fingers were turning purple.

              “Actually,” Luka’s shoulders slumped with resignation. He shifted the coffee cup into his other hand—which was still free of purple—and hid his changing hand behind his back. “I’m not—I think I need to—”

              MJ zeroed in on his hand and for a second, Luka feared the purple was spreading and the cat was out of the bag, but his fears were soon assuaged when MJ spoke.

              “Your hand is shaking more than my old dryer!” MJ explained in disbelief and worry. “Listen, do you need to go home? I can cover for the rest of the day.”

              “I hate to leave you mid-shift again and with Clover off getting more cup sleeves—” Luka winced from the way his growing fangs scratched against his mouth as he stepped back towards the door.

              “It’s all good,” MJ promised, his brows tight with concern. “Just get some rest before you need to pick up your daughter.”

              “Thank you!” Luka just about dashed out the back door, “It won’t happen again!”

              He barely made it outside before the purple creeped up his arm and his fingers on his one hand clenched back into cumbersome mittens. He ducked behind the tree and let out a frustrated groan as his thin control over his body dissolved.

              Not wanting to ruin another pair of clothes, he placed his coffee down and swiftly undressed. He tried to maintain fingers on the hand that was just turning purple as he struggled with the buttons on his shirt. It took a few tries but he finally managed. The second he shed his shirt and pants, his purple form ballooned into the now familiar form of a large snake with fur and noodle arms.

              Luka sighed, leaning against the bark as fatigue and sorrow ate at his spirit. Wet, golden tears slipped down familiar paths etched into his cheeks. He momentarily entertained the idea of remaining there, in the shadow of the tree and stewing in his sorry state, but on the other side of The Horizon, he could hear the hustle and bustle of the people of Subcon. The longer he remained in the open, the more he risked being seen.

              Willing himself through the motions, he collected his clothes and draped them over his arm before scooping up his coffee cup between two thick fingers. Careful not to let the cup slip through his fingers because he knew that a little spilled coffee in that moment was all it would take to send him into a spiral of despair he might not be able to recover from, he headed home.

              He hovered through the deeper part of the woods since he had nowhere to be anytime soon. Of course, he wanted to be home before Hattie, but that wasn’t for another hour or two. So, he took his time, letting his tail wiggle lackadaisically as he flitted from shadow to shadow. The warm coffee in his hand was a small comfort and the toasted flavor of the beans soothed him to the core.

              He was mid-sip—eyes half-closed—when a small gasp came from below.

              Luka’s eyes snapped fully open as he glanced down over his coffee cup. A young child in a dark purple hood with fluffy brown bangs that concealed most of their features was craning their neck to look up at him.

              The two remained frozen as they stared at each other for a second. Luka clutched his clothes draped around his one arm and still held the coffee cup to his mouth while the child’s jaw hung open.

              “Wowie! What are—” The child’s awe-filled voice snapped Luka out of his petrification and before the child could finish their sentence, Luka flew away.

              Peck! He was seen! Sure, he had been seen before but usually not mid-day and never that up close! He glanced back at the kid, who thankfully wasn’t following him, just watching in shock.

              That might come back to haunt him…

              Oh well, Luka tried to console himself as he zipped back home. At least the kid didn’t see him shapeshifting, which was more likely to give away his identity. The thought of Luka being found out and having to tear Hattie from another home gripped his chest like ice, but he immediately forced himself to take deep breaths.

              It was okay. The kid saw a purple noodle in the forest with coffee. It was fine. There was no reason to think he was at risk of being found out.

              It was going to be okay. He would be okay. Hattie was safe and happy. Everything was okay.

              The area behind the apartment was void of life and Luka had no trouble shrinking and flying up to his bedroom window, which he had left open for easy access. He flew in and soon expanded to fill the empty room. Sighing, he gingerly set down his cup before folding his clothes and stacking them by the closet. Exhaustion overwhelmed him and he curled around himself, resting his head on his hands on the topmost coil.

              His eyelids drooped as he flicked the tip of his tail back and forth. He wished he could have finished his shift. He wished he could have kept laughing with MJ and that he could have been there when Clover came back.

              He squeezed his eyes shut, as if it would keep a few more tears from slipping out. No such luck. He heaved out a worn sign before shifting his focus on getting some sleep. Maybe if he rested enough, he would have enough energy to maintain a humanoid shape so he could cook a good dinner for Hattie. That would be nice.

              He fell asleep repeating his new mantra.

              It would be okay. He was going to be okay.

[remmushound]

@assanmaharielsreblogs @dakotafinely

The withdrawal from the pizza puffs hit Donnie fast and hard. One second he was still on cloud nine, enjoying every moment of the drug-infused high. The next second he was clinging to a porcelain throne like his life depended on it and throwing up everything he had eaten and then some more into the water.

“Oh god…” More bile escaped, “Ughhhh....”

Despite being the one who cursed him with the sickness, Michelangelo was at his side gently rubbing his plastron while Donnie hacked.

“There there~ get it all out.”

“Screw you.” Donnie had just enough breath to say, glaring at Michelangelo until he had to shove his face back in the bowl for more vomiting.

“Yeah, you hate me so much right now.” Michelangelo just kept smiling and stroking the other turtle.

“So, if you’re done puking your guts out.” Leonardo smirked and came to Donnie’s other side, “I’m the one picking your next punishment.”

“Hooray…” Donnie groaned.

*****

“A… are you sure about this?” Donnie gulped and leaned over to whisper into Leonardo’s ear.

Leonardo smirked and wrapped an arm around Donnie’s shell, “Don’t worry, Hermano!”

The bright sign loomed above them life a monster that chilled Donnie to his core. Minotaur Maze.

“It’s just a Maze! You like puzzles, right?”

*****

Donnie was tossed from the maze on his shell, screaming as he slid across the floor and slammed into the wall. His carapace took no damage, of course, though the same couldn’t be said for the wall he collided with.

Hueso ran over, with eye socket’s wide and jaw dropped. “MY WALL!” He held on tight to his skull as he saw the damage inflicted by the mutant, and he shook his head while speaking swift swears and distressed words in his native language.

“Sorry Hueso!” Leonardo called over Hueso’s panic as he grabbed Donnie by the bridge of his shell and gently pulled him away.

*****

“Why?” Donnie squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head repeatedly, “Why why why why me?!” His hands gripped the wheel so tight that his palms paled, refusing to open his eyes as the cheers all around deafened him.

“Because you touched my staff, Othello!” Donatello recounted like a Shakespearean actor, “And that is a crime that cannot go unpunished! You’re lucky I didn't have you commit Yubitsume.”

Donnie gulped.

“But I know how important fingers are to a Donnie, so I decided to spare thine poor soul and the fingers attached to thou’s hand!”

“Uh. Thank you.” Donnie gave a nervous laugh. “But… why this?”

“Simple.” Donatello put his hands behind his head and feet on the dashboard as the guns shot off and announced the beginning of the yokai roller derby. “I’m an adrenaline junky and you’re a nervous wreck! In short, my dear other—this is gonna be fun~!”

*****

Donnie barely escaped the derby with his life, and he certainly didn't win. The first thing he did was stumble over to the nearest offered bin and throw up inside, as several other yokai who had participated were doing as well.

“Oh god.” Donnie wiped his mouth and clutched his chest. “Oh god I think that took ten years off my lifespan.”

“Well as the Great Galileo once said!” Donatello cleared his throat and straightened his posture, “ ‘We cannot teach people anything; we can only help them discover it within themselves.’ “

“Well the only thing I’m discovering is how much a mutant turtle can puke without becoming dehydrated!” Donnie snapped.

Donatello took a backward step and laughed. “Aght aght aght! You brought this on yourself, Ello!”

“Please don’t call me that.”

“Whatever you say, Ello.”

*****

It was the last punishment. Donnie had survived the past three and he was sure this one would be no different. His stomach felt uncomfortably empty but he didn't dare eat until whatever Hell Raphael was going to inflict upon him was over. So far, though they had been emotionally traumatizing in their own right, none of the punishments had been outright dangerous. The pizza puffs (Donnie shivered just thinking about them) had been God awful, but it was a controlled dose and the side effects had ceased within the hour. And the high they brought was almost tempting enough to try again, but Donnie quickly shook the addictive thought from his mind. The maze and its enemies were terrifying, but it was more like a spar than anything-- he had been through worse just in training! And the roller derby, though much more extreme, was still forming into a fond, terrifying memory in Donnie’s head (he hoped he never had to go through that again). He was sure he could handle whatever Raphael threw at him.

Raphael held out a small vial of a green, jelly-like substance with an innocent smile on his face. Donnie took it hesitantly and sniffed it. It didn't smell like much.

“I don’t suppose you’re gonna tell me what's in it…?” Donnie asked hopefully.

“Just mutant jellyfish slime.” Raphael smiled.

Donnie whined. “Of course.”

“Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it looks!” Michelangelo offered kindly.

“That’s not very comforting considering you were the one who gave me the pizza puffs.”

“Serious dude, it doesn’t even taste like anything.” Leonardo agreed with his brothers, “It’s just like... a really weird texture.”

“And perfectly safe!” Donatello declared, and then added bitterly, “Believe me, I’d know.”

“Wonderful.” Donnie snorted, “Well… can’t be any worse than the puffs I guess…” He tilted the vial and the worst part was waiting for the jelly to actually squelch out of the vial and into his mouth. He swallowed it quickly and, like the others claimed, there was no taste, but the goop seemed to cling to his mouth in a thick layer of slime. “Agh. Cowabunga.”

******

“This is indignant!” Donnie squeaked, tiny hands balled into fists and stiff at his side.

“Awww he’s so cute!” Mikey cooed as he kneeled down beside the four year old Donnie, ticking the turtle tots chin. “Coochie coochie coo~”

Donnie slapped him away. “STOP THAT!”

“So much for being the tallest brother, ay Don?” Raph snickered.

“THIS IS TEMPORARY!” Donnie stomped his foot in frustration.

“Aww, baby throwing a tantrum!” Mikey picked Donnie up and giggled as the child struggled in his grip. “Does he need a nap nap~?”

“I DO NOT NEED NAP NAP!”

Leo leaned over to whisper to Donatello, trying to hide his smile of amusement. “How long does this last, usually?”

“Twelve hours.” Donatello replied.

“Poor… poor Don.”

[turtleduckscribbles]

Hey I like your stories. Can I please get a sick and delusional Wild with the others comforting him? Thanks in advance!

Dear second anon: your ask came in just as I was in the middle of writing for the first, so I hope it suits you. ;3  Also, please stop me from injecting so much plot into all of these. I can’t help it, it’s too fun! Warnings: Vomiting, General malaise

~o~o~o~o~o~ Wild wiped his hands clean of monster gunk, pocketing the freshly picked talon. Well. That was a little more gratuitous than he would have liked. Why the unfortunate bird beast decided it’d be a wise idea to dive-bomb him from out of the sky, Wild wasn’t sure. He wasn’t complaining, though; he’d take an unprovoked attack any day if it meant being bestowed with another sensational ingredient to add to his collection. Between himself and the eight other heroes in his traveling posse, he was running short on supplies as of late.

No matter, he thought smugly as he turned away from the disaster site and strolled across the open meadow. Now Twi will finally see that it’s worth spending extra time foraging for provisions.

The nice part about hopping kingdoms was that it gave him the chance to experiment with different materials. While his native country had a lot to offer in terms of living off the land, Wild itched with anticipation that he could find something unprecedented elsewhere. The possibilities for new and exciting concoctions were endless!

Not that I enjoy killing, he mused as he sliced through a couple purple chuchus barring his path. In fact, he found the sport of it rather abhorrent. But when strange and unfamiliar monsters continued throwing themselves at him, Wild could only respond in turn. He might as well make the most of it and expand his inventory.

He stopped in his tracks, his sword dripping with monster muck. Wait… 

He pivoted, surveying the globs of goop strewn across the grass.

Since when were chuchus purple?

Wild approached the nearest pile of jelly and knelt, observing its plum coloring. He watched it seep slowly into the soil, unable to retain its globular shape. He prodded it curiously, humming when his finger passed through the gelatinous surface. Come to think of it, these chuchus had been slightly different than his—more elongated, less viscous. He mentally reviewed the ones he’d seen in the past and came to an abrupt realization that purple was indeed a color not previously encountered. Wild uncorked an empty jar, grinning triumphantly. Yes! It was about time he tested an ingredient with special effects! As the inquisitive champion strode off to find a suitable place to brew his newfound materials, he distantly acknowledged the fact that he was neglecting the time. He probably should have arrived back at camp by now…

The others can wait, he convinced himself as he hunkered down inside a small cavity in the cliffside. He was doing them a favor by gathering food and preparing potions, after all. And besides—sometimes immediate investigation proved to be the best course of action in a given moment. He thought that Zelda would agree with him, even if Twilight would not. Ah, well. Wild smirked as he sat back, letting the cooking pot work its magic. Twilight could thank him later.

~o~o~o~o~o~

“Has anyone seen Wild?” Time looked up from polishing his Biggoron sword, quirking an eyebrow. “Not since he set out to find dinner. You think something befell him?” Twilight fastened his baldric to his chest, peering into the outlying trees. He tried not to concern himself with Wild’s eccentric survivalist tendencies, but he could no longer ignore the growing pit in his stomach. If his instincts were anything to go by—which they were—then something was up. “It’s possible. Usually this part of Hyrule is fairly safe, but with all the infected monsters running around, who knows. Still didn’t stop him from charging off alone, though. I’ll go look for him, he can’t have made it past the field—” “Guys, a little help here?!” Their heads shot up in alarm. From out of the thicket stumbled a pair of breathless heroes, with one slung heavily over the other. Four staggered as he bore the brunt of Wild’s weight, his face contorted into a grimace. “What happened?!” Twilight demanded, bounding forward as Time jumped to his feet behind him. He approached Wild’s side and draped his limp arm over his shoulders, with Time doing the same on the opposite side.

“Dunno. He came crashing through the underbrush just a moment ago.” The little hero stepped back gratefully, allowing Time to relieve him of his baggage. “He’s sick as a dog.”

Twilight studied Wild’s face, wincing at the sight. He looked awful; his skin was paler than ever, his gaze unfocused. His brow glistened with sweat, which ran in rivulets down the sides of his face. Twilight readjusted his grip on his protégé’s arm, searching for signs of wounds. “What happened?” he repeated. “Did something attack you? Was it infected, did it—?” “’lixir,” Wild slurred, his eyelids fluttering weakly. “Rotten bird. Couldn’t… keep it down.”

By now, they had the entire camp’s attention. Time and Twilight guided him over to their supplies, with Four laying out a bedroll for him.

“You’re speaking nonsense,” Twilight said as he and Time lowered the younger teen to the ground. “What are you talking about, what bird?” Wild slumped onto the mat, sinking back against a fallen log. “Reptile bird. Screwed the… elixir.” “What’s wrong with him?” Warrior asked gruffly as he approached with the others. Twilight ignored him, staring intently into Wild’s hazy eyes. “Reptilian birds? You mean kargaroks? Why would you bother with those, they aren’t worth the effort.” Wild shook his head and pressed his hands to his temples, his breaths shallow. “Monster parts. For the… jelly.” Twilight gawked at his companion, nonplussed. He exchanged a look with Time, who looked just as perplexed as he felt. “I had to, okay?” Wild whined, growing more distressed by the second. “Elixirs’re important, Twi! We need them! Rare chuchus… special effects… Had to try—”

“Wait.”

Twilight paused, the cogs turning in his mind. He sat back on his heels, his eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“You came across some chus? What color? They weren’t purple, were they?” “...Yeah?” The weight of understanding crashed down upon him full force. Twilight sighed, suddenly feeling much older than he was. He should have known.

“Wild… that was foolish. You’re not supposed to eat the purple ones, they’ll make you sick! Just… why would you do that?”

“How should I know?” the champion cried, tugging at his hair. “Wasn’t expecting to... throw up my insides! Never had it this severe. Even rocks weren’t… this bad—” “You’ve eaten rocks, Wild?” “S’not that bad! Ugh, but this jelly… Didn’t even have much!” “It doesn’t matter, that stuff’s toxic!” Wild rolled his eyes, burying his face in his hands.

Twilight groaned, running a hand through his hair. He wasn’t sure what he expected, but Wild’s buffoonery should have been at the top of the list. Leave it to Wild to experiment with things beyond his understanding. “Don’t gimme that, Twi. Your world’s to blame. Dumb chuchu…” “Yeah, well, serves you right for cooking up anything here without consulting me first. You’re lucky you were able to make it back to camp like this.” “You’re not my consultant,” Wild grumbled. “Watch it, or I’ll… I’ll puke all over your pelt if you keep up like that.”

“You’d better not, or we’re leaving you for dead.” From across the fire, a raucous noise started up. Legend was on his knees, cackling like a bokoblin as he clutched breathlessly at his stomach. He wiped at his eyes, his face red from laughter. “Wow. You’re both too much, you know that?” Twilight rose to his feet, his lips pursed in irritation. “All right, Vet. Since it’s so funny to you, I’ll just hand him over to your care then. He’s all yours.” “You wouldn’t dare. In that case, I’m handing him over to the old man. No take backs.” Time’s good eye went perfectly round, so much that it was almost comical. “Just because I’m the oldest, it doesn’t mean I’m the best equipped to care for… convalescents.” “Well, this will be good practice for when the kids get sick then, won’t it?” Time graced Legend with an unamused stare—a piercing look that Twilight knew all too well. Legend stared back unflinchingly, unwilling to give ground. Twilight gazed up into the sky, feeling helpless.

Goddess grant him strength. “Wild, sit up,” he ordered, cushioning the log behind him with blankets. “And stop pulling at your hair, you’ll hurt yourself. More than you already have. You’re in for a long haul with this one… might as well make yourself comfortable.” And with that, Wild leaned forward and proceeded to be sick right into his lap.

~o~o~o~o~o~

“You know it would help if you gave us more of a warning, right?” Wild wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, looking positively green. His front was stained with sick, defacing the beautiful blue of his champion’s garb. Twilight made a face, sympathetic to the younger boy’s plight. After Wild’s third vomiting spell in a row, they had decided to stay put, foregoing their plans to venture to Snowpeak. Wild was in no condition to hike the treacherous mountain; that would have to happen another day. Twilight could only hope he’d be back on his feet soon. Though he knew how debilitating a purple chu’s toxins could be… “Is he finished yet?” said a timid voice from across the campsite. “He’s been going at it for an hour now…”

The sentence had barely left Hyrule’s lips before Wild was retching once again, eliciting a string of curses throughout the group. With a look of pure horror, Hyrule covered his mouth and fled, legging it into the trees before promptly upending the contents of his own stomach. “Really, Hyrule?” Four complained. “You’re contributing to the problem.” “Never mind him, could somebody help me out here?” Twilight said, attempting to hold Wild’s long hair back from his face. “Please?” Without a second thought, Sky rushed over to them, taking Twilight’s place on the mat. He gathered the strands of hair that had come loose from Wild’s ponytail holder, cinching them tight. Wild gagged pitifully, his body shuddering from his multiple stomach contractions. “You must have had quite the lunch,” the Chosen Hero teased, rubbing soft circles into the champion’s back. “Think you’re all done now?” Wild spat into the dirt, grimacing. A long moment passed before he gave a small thumbs up, much to Twilight’s relief. “Good. Why don’t you get out of those clothes so we can wash them for you?” Sky continued. “I’m sure you’ll feel much better then.” Wild slumped forward, utterly spent.

As Twilight got to work removing Wild’s tunic, Legend picked his way over, careful to avoid any piles of sick. He came and stood close to the three heroes, looking down on the sorry scene before him. “Gross, Wild. How much did you eat?” He hovered in front of the ailing champion, snapping his fingers in front of his face. “Hello, Wild? You in there?” Wild moaned in misery as Twilight pulled his shirt from off his head. “Aches.” “Here, make yourself useful and clean these, would you?” Twilight said, dumping the soiled clothing into Legend’s arms. “There’s a creek not too far from here, that should do the job.” “Speaking of eating, what should we do about dinner?” Wind asked, ignoring Legend’s indignant squawk. “We haven’t eaten yet, and there’s no way Wild’s cooking tonight.” “At least Hyrule’s out of the question for being chef,” Warrior snickered, looking over at the squeamish hero in the trees. “Or else we’d all be sick right now.” “Hey!” “We’re down to our last few ingredients, so I’m not sure,” Twilight explained, using a handkerchief from Four to wipe off Wild’s arms. “It’s the whole reason why Wild went foraging for food in the first place.” “I could make us some tea,” Sky offered with a smile. “It’s not food, but it might hold us over for a time. Zelda’s always done that for me when I’ve been sick. Maybe it can help Wild too.”

Twilight glanced at Wild’s face, concerned. His brow was furrowed in pain, as if he were on the verge of being ill again. Goosebumps had broken out over his skin, chilled by the evening air. Twilight took the champion’s cloak and wrapped him snugly in the fabric. “I think there were some herbs left over in his device,” Wind said. He knelt by his incapacitated friend and took the Sheikah Slate secured at his hip. “I’m sure he won’t mind us snatching some of those.” Twilight eyed Wild warily, thinking that he would very much mind indeed. Wild must have really been out of it if he was allowing Wind to use his slate this freely.

“It’s too bad we’re out of pumpkins,” Sky said as he took the herb stems from Wind. “For now, I’ll get the tea started. Hopefully it helps.” As Sky set off toward the fire, Legend picked something unseen from off Wild’s tunic, taking it between his thumb and index finger. He brought it to eye level, his nose wrinkled distastefully. “Think he’ll notice if I give him that trim we’ve been talking about?” Wild shot Legend a dirty look, which fell somewhat flat due to his hunched position. “What? You won’t have hair falling in your face that way!” “Legend, just go clean the clothes,” Warrior quipped. Legend rolled his eyes, grumbling under his breath as he stalked off into the woods. “Oh sure, he’ll hear that, but not anything else we tell him. Talk about selective hearing…” Twilight sighed, running a hand through his already disheveled hair. It was going to be a long night. ~o~o~o~o~o~

The forest at midnight was one of Twilight’s favorite places in the world. There was a certain calmness in the way the leaves rustled in the wind, an alluring draw in the woodland scents that swirled all around him… a majesty that left everything suspended in moonshine. But not this night. This night, the chilly forest air only exacerbated Wild’s illness, doing no good for his overall health. Although his sick spells had fortunately died down, the champion was still clearly unwell. He shivered violently, chilled as if he couldn’t feel the multitude of blankets wrapped tightly around him. His skin had taken on a greenish tinge, the scar tissue on the side of his face standing out stark white against the distant glow of the campfire. 

Twilight put a gentle hand to the teen’s forehead, feeling his heart lurch in his chest. He was warm and clammy to the touch, his face shining with a sheen of sweat. He swished aside Wild’s long bangs, placing a damp cloth to his forehead. He knew all too much how Wild felt. “Heh… feels weird,” Wild giggled feverishly. “Is this what the Hebra Plunge Challenge feels like?” Twilight sighed, readjusting the cloth. He really hoped this wouldn’t last the entire night. “He’s delirious. We should do something before the fever addles his brain even more,” Four suggested, untying his green headband as he settled in for the night. “There’s not much we can do at this point,” Twilight said. “He can’t eat, he can’t sleep. We’ll just have to wait for his fever to break.”

Warrior shifted on his tree stump, removing his chain mail. “Try a potion.” “We’re not risking another potion. He’s already thrown up one.” “How about some hot springs?” Time proposed, his posture relaxed as he leaned against a tree. “Are there any of those nearby we could take him to?” “The Gorons have some, but Eldin Province is too far. We’ll never be able to get him there.” “Do you think it would help if he was moved closer to the fire?” Four asked. “He’s shivering like crazy.” Twilight glanced over at the dying campfire, where Sky was currently tending to another pot of boiling water. He didn’t think it wise to overheat Wild in his current condition, but he couldn’t ignore how fiercely he was trembling. Maybe he should bring him closer…

“Good idea,” he acquiesced. He positioned himself closer to his ailing friend, tucking his arms under his wrapped form. In one single motion, Twilight lifted him into the air, hobbling over to where Sky sat by the fire. “Whoa there, kid,” Time said, rising to his feet. “Here, let me help with—” “I got him,” Twilight grunted. He shuffled past the sleeping figures on the ground, inching closer to the fire pit. From where he lay in Twilight’s arms, Wild chuckled weakly, gazing up into his mentor’s face. “C-Careful, Twi. Careful, or you’ll t-throw out your back… like the ol’ man.” “What, with you? You’re too light,” he lied. Wild responded with another giggle, which only heightened Twilight’s worries. He hoped the fever wasn’t getting to his head.

After setting Wild down, Twilight propped him up with extra folded blankets, reapplying the cooling cloth to his forehead. Wild let out a shaky breath, eyeing Twilight’s fur pelt with a dopey expression. “Mmm… wolf fur. You’re furry.” “You’re a good sport for doing all this,” Legend voiced from his side. The veteran hero leaned back against some rocks, sipping another cup of tea that Sky had provided him. Twilight huffed in amusement. “Helps that I’ve had chu poisoning before. I know how awful it can be.” “Vet, cross your legs,” Wild slurred from the ground. “I can see up your skirt.” Legend glared at the sick champion, his eyes like daggers. “You’d better watch it, Wild. I washed your clothes for you today, you know.” He discreetly changed positions, tossing his blanket over his lap. “Here you are,” Sky said, presenting Wild with more tea. “I’m glad the last cup seemed to help your stomach. I hope this one can help you sleep.” Wild accepted the cup with trembling hands, unsuccessfully trying to bring it to his lips. Twilight helped him hold it steady, guiding it to his mouth. “Thanks, Sky,” he answered for his indisposed friend. “I’m sure he appreciates it.” Sky smiled, patting Twilight on the shoulder. “It’s the least I can do for all the times he’s cooked us supper. And for you.” Twilight looked up in surprise, meeting Sky’s warm gaze. “Make sure to get some sleep soon yourself, okay?” Twilight nodded, feeling the corners of his mouth turn up. “I will. You too.”

~o~o~o~o~o~

His breathing had finally evened out, having succumbed to the first stages of sleep. His facial muscles had softened considerably, relaxing under the cooling pressure of the damp cloth. His cheek was pressed firmly into his covers, no longer quivering beneath his mound of blankets. Twilight continued kneading the space between Wild’s thumb and forefinger, pleased that it seemed to have the desired soothing effect.

Now that Wild had found his reprieve, Twilight felt like he could finally breathe again himself. Another hour had gone by from the time that Sky had given Wild his second cup of tea, and since then, nearly all of the Links had fallen asleep. Twilight rubbed at his eyes, thankful that he no longer had to listen to Wild’s unsettling babble. Though his protégé could be insufferably infuriating sometimes, Twilight knew he would be remiss not to acknowledge just how deeply he cared for him. He wasn’t sure when his feelings of affection grew to be this strong, but he knew they were there nonetheless. It was a fondness that penetrated deep into his core—a love that was inexplicable and yet present all the same.

He wondered when he ever allowed himself to grow this close…

“You should sleep.” “Hmm?” Twilight snapped to attention, releasing Wild’s hand. “You’re drifting, Pup,” Time said, lowering himself to the ground by his side. “You should get some sleep before you fall ill yourself.”

Twilight gave a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s not contagious. Only if you ingest it.” “Not with the way Hyrule’s been acting.” Twilight chuckled, appreciating the joke. A brief moment of silence passed between them, allowing the woodland sounds to permeate the space. From the corner of his eye, Twilight sensed Time eyeing him shrewdly, his one-eyed gaze piercing through his soul. “Those bags under your eyes can’t be good, at least.” Twilight sighed, rubbing his cheek wearily. “You’re probably right.” Time looked over into the dying embers of the fire. “You did good today, though. You’re quite the caretaker.” Twilight hummed noncommittally, unsure of what to say. He gave another shrug, gazing into Wild’s dozing face. “Not really. I’m just unlucky enough to know what a purple chu’s like.” “Well… for what it’s worth, I think I could learn something from you.” He froze, taken aback by the comment. He swiveled around to face his mentor, who looked far more transparent than he’d ever seen him. A soft smile played at Time’s lips, lighting up his entire countenance. Twilight smiled in return, touched by his open support. Sometimes a little support could go a long way. **Edit: Now with Part II! ~o~o~o~o~o~ ~Requests are Closed, Thank You!~