#Jake paul is gonna fucking die

[creepypastalover97]

Me finding out about the mike Tyson vs Jake Paul fight:

But in all seriousness I do believe Mike Tyson will come out on top here. How confident am I? Well...

1. This is Mike Tyson were talking about

2. He is literally has one of the fastest knockout punches on record

3. This man literally bit a man's ear off mid fight.

4. This man has been to prison. I'm not talking speading a night in jail or 6-12 months like jake Paul. No literal 3 f**king years! Mike Tyson literally has said "i had the best three years of my life in prison" and I have heard stories that prison mike Tyson is way more scarier than ring mike Tyson.

5. This man is not your average 57 year old. This is going to be a 57 year old who is finally going to be able to let lose again and get a f**king adrenaline rush for the first time in 20 years. What Jake fails to realize is, men like Mike Tyson who come out of retirement to fight, are men who have a fire in them that can't be burned out. Jake picked the wrong one to mess with.

In conclusion...

Jake Paul better f**king pray he comes out intact

[dalekofchaos]

So apparently that fucking idiot Jake Paul is gonna fight Mike Tyson in july.

If you're dumb enough to reawaken the fire within Iron Mike Tyson, you must be the dumbest idiot on this planet.

I hope Mike Tyson fucking murders that little shit.

The Paul brothers have been a shitstain in life, the sport of boxing and wrestling.

I. Want. Him. To. Die.

Mike winning and potentially ending that little shit once and for all could be the one good thing out of 2024

[anotherisodope]

Hasn't had a puff in 210 years...

So being a medical cannabis user and general enjoyer of the herb, I of course downloaded Cannabis Commonwealth for my new Fallout 4 game.

Now, Cannabis Commonwealth is a great mod. Lots of thought was put into it, and the growing mechanic is about as close to realistic as you can get with this game engine. Also, the plant models are gorgeous. And it’s funny as hell when I have Morgan light up a joint and she stands there smoking and literally refuses to do anything else until she’s done. Relatable, especially after 210 years…

That said, there’s only one flaw to the whole experience. One tiny thing that left me frustrated and going on wild goose chases for days. That is: I couldn’t figure out who in the hell in the entire Commonwealth was selling buds and seeds.

Now, for those who have installed this mod and are faced with the same question: Rachel, Dr. Forsythe’s assistant down in Vault 81, is the sole person that I have found with the hookup. Apparently, she’s been running a little side business behind everyone's back. She restocks every 48 hours like a standard merchant, and each time her sale list includes at least a few buds and types of seeds. 

I found this out completely by accident after checking every merchant, trader, doctor, and drug pusher I could think of and going on multiple wild-goose chases. Vault 75 has a giant chem stash according to a junkie’s note? Look there. Vault 95 is notorious for its huge stock of prewar chems? Let’s try there. The big losers in this whole exercise were the Gunners, which was hilarious.

I’m just imagining Gunners seeing a furious Minutemen General in full colors plowing her way through two of their bases, including their vault of origin and secondary base of operations, while they try to figure out which of their many, many crimes has actually brought her wrath down on them. 

Gunner in Vault 95: This is a general alert to Headquarters and to all tertiary bases and squads within comm range. We are under attack by the Minutemen General, her second in command, three robots, and a dog. Lock down all bases immediately and prepare for attack. 

Gunner in Vault 75: Mike, what the hell is going on over there? 

95: It’s Corporal Miller--oh fuck it, I’m probably gonna die anyway. It’s a complete shitstorm, Joey. She’s reprogrammed most of our robots to add to her force, our turrets are shut down and our recruits are dropping like flies. 

75: Oh God. What the hell caused this? Is it because of Quincy? Or our attacks on her settlements?

95: It could also be retaliation for when we kidnapped her buddy Jake and beat the shit out of him, or when we killed Old Paul, or when we interrogated The Ron including breaking bones and snatching his wig… 

75: …wow. We’ve, uh, done a lot to piss her off, haven’t we?

95: Yep. And there’s no telling which one was the last straw… 

Morgan, meanwhile: WHERE’S THE FUCKING WEED YOU TIN-SOLDIER ASSHOLES I KNOW YOU’RE HOLDING OUT ON ME

[abigtimeboxofficedraw]

Ok, hear me out, Hatchetfield DirectDoggo AU, do you agree?

TGWDLM

Paul: Jack

Emma: Harry

Bill: Peter

Ted: Steven

Charlotte: Rebecca/Scottie

Henry Hidgens: Dave

Sam/McNamara/Jeff's infected characters: Henry

Alice: Blackjack

Harmony Jones: Health Inspector

Hatchetfield Bee: Dee (hehe hatchetfield dee)

Pokotho: Pokotho (I don't feel like changing the lords)

Black Friday

Tom: Peter (I'm double casting fuck you)

Becky: Caroline

Lex: Jake

Ethan: Roger

Hannah: Dee

Wiggly: Wiggly

Linda: Rebecca

Uncle Wiley/Wilbur Cross: Steven

Nerdy Prudes Must Die

Pete: Oliver (I'm also doing Dialtown fuck you)

Steph: Karen Dunn (no romance though grr she is aroace and I will die on this hill)

Grace: Phonegingi (it would be funny)

Ruth: Randy

Richie: Richie (I'm keeping Richie cuz I love him and it would be funny (ALSO HE IS NOT DIALED-UP HE IS THE ONLY ONE WITHOUT A PHONE HEAD))

Max: Little Billy (they're both terrifying)

The LiB: The LiB but they're all dialed-up

The Hatchetfield Police Force (Bailey, Shapiro etc): Norm

Solomon: Mingus (they're both the mayor's of their towns it's obvious)

Paul and Emma: Jack and Harry dialed-up

this was copy and pasted straight from the notes app which was typed from the enigma known as my autistic brain at 2am with a mild migraine and wearing a Scott the woz T-shirt

Edit: I'm not gonna do nightmare time or workin boys I'm way too tired and migrainey for this

[hmspogueobx]

Sunshine and Pine

Chapter Three: Glorious Muscles and the Smell of a Sweater

The smell of cookies wafts into my face as Emily pulls a sheet out of the oven. Seeing my opening, I snag a spoonful of cookie dough out of the bowl while her back is turned. I've been doing this for the past 30 minutes, and apparently my luck has finally run out.

"Lucy!!" She scolds, seeing me from the corner of her eye. I burst into a fit of giggles just as some of the boys walk in.

"Ugh, would you look at his face." Embry mocks, pointing at Paul. "Damn lovesick puppy."

I turn to see Paul admiring my giggles, leaning against the doorway arms crossed, looking at me like they do in all the best cheesy rom coms.

"Not two seconds before we walked in he was bitching about being wet and bored. Where was this Paul for the past 3 hours. I'd like to be on patrol with him next time please." Paul turns around and growls at Embry, shutting him right up.

Paul may have been complaining about the downpour outside, but I certainly wasn't. While Paul is scaring off Embry, my eyes rake up his body. His shirt is clinging to him in a delicious way, the thin material absolutely drenched. Every dip of muscle is on full display. I am all here for this wet t-shirt contest. It's not until Paul clears his throat that I break out of my daze. I'm almost afraid to meet his eyes. Peeking up at his face, he is radiating mischief.

"Smirk any harder Paul and it'll get stuck on your face." I sass, cheeks flaming red at being caught so blatantly staring in a room full of my friends.

"It might be worth it." He says, voice dripping cockiness.

"Hey, we're ALL wet over here! I feel like I should take this as a blow to my self esteem." Quil says, doing a full Vanna White to all of the other rain soaked abs.

Mustering up as much enthusiasm as I can, I twirl towards Quil.

"Wow, I'm so lucky to be in this room with so many breathtaking men." I throw the back of my hand to my forehead and pull out my best southern accent. "All these glorious muscles. I'm absolutely swooning! Emily-" I whip around to her and she's fighting a grin. "have you ever seen such strong, manly men in all your days?" She's giggling at me now, shaking her head at my antics.

"There, was that better?" I turn to Quil.

He holds his chin up high. "Much better. Finally, an appropriate level of awe." And turns and walks into the living room, plopping down on the couch.

Paul is staring at me with puppy dog eyes again, his smile growing once I've turned my attention back to him. I make my way over and snuggle into his waiting arms.

"Hi beautiful." He mumbles into my hair, taking a deep inhale. "Mmmm you always smell so good. Like sunshine." My face scrunches up in amusement.

"I didn't realize sunshine had its own smell." It comes out as more of a question. Paul draws his eyebrows together in mock seriousness. "Oh of course it does. Smells all happy and warm." I giggle at him, causing an adorable smile to crack through his facade. "Thank you?"

"It's my favorite smell." He smiles down at me, still wrapped up in his arms. "How was your night?"

"It was fun. We had a girls night. Did all the classic girl stuff. Made cookies, talked about the boys we like... you know."

"Oh yeah? You got a crush or something?" He plays along.

"Mmm can't tell you that. That's top secret girl talk." I look up at him. There's definitely a spark of playfulness from our typical back and forth. But something heavy lies in his eyes too.

My mouth morphs into a frown. "How was patrol? You end up getting anywhere near the wedding?"

"Very very close actually." His face drops. "Jake crashed it. We had to step in before he hurt Bella." I pull out of his arms at this, the mention of Jake's sudden reappearance startling me.

"It's kinda fucked up actually, everything was totally fine until Bella told Jake her and her vampire were going to have a real honeymoon." His hands thrown up in air quotes. "Jake totally lost it. Thinks Bellas gonna die or somethin."

"Wouldn't be the worst way to go." I can't help the joke that slips past my lips, Paul's eyes narrowing at my shitty comedic timing. Then my shoulders sag with the weight of having missed Jacob.

"I should never have told him to go."

"Hey," His finger under my chin lifts my eyes back up to his. "From everything you told me happened, he needed some separation. I mean look what being back here did. All you did was tell your friend to do what's best for him and not for Bella. You're an amazing friend." His speech brings a warmth to my chest that only he seems to be able to ignite.

I lean into his chest, a slow smile creeping onto my lips. "Smooth talker." I wink at him and lean in for a kiss. A soft hum escaping from my mouth as his tongue glides across my bottom lip, silently requesting entrance. "You mentioned something about a good way to go..." Paul mumbles against my lips.

Someone groans behind me.

"Ugh seriously dude! There are people trying to eat here." Embry calls from the kitchen table.

Paul throws a middle finger behind my back, not for a second considering moving away from the kiss.

—---------

A buzzing from the coffee table pulls my attention away from my book. Throwing a bookmark between the well worn pages, I exchange it for my phone. My dads name lights up the screen, bringing a smile to my face.

"Hey dad! What's up?" I asked.

"Hi sweetheart! Good to hear your voice." I can practically feel the excitement coming off of him. "I have officially collected enough miles to meet this boyfriend of yours!"

Last time I'd seen my dad he'd gone on and on about how much better I'd seemed. When I'd moved away from him, I was still stuck in a full scale mental MMA fight with my anxiety and trauma. Winner takes all. And while I'd told him about how being in a pack had helped me heal, apparently I'd brought up Paul alot. My dads words were, and I quote "you look like you're floating when you talk about this guy... He deserve you?" And from that moment on, he'd been dead set on judging that for himself.

"Yay! That's exciting. When are you coming?" My smile growing bigger.

"Is this weekend to last minute?" Doubt creeping into his tone.

"Nope! Come on down. The pack is having a bonfire. It's a whole big family affair though, so I don't see why you couldn't come along. Meet everyone."

"I wouldn't be intruding?" My dad, forever worried about stepping on people's toes.

"Not at all! Everyone else's parents will be there. I'm part of the pack too, so why shouldn't my dad come along. Come on, everyone will be stoked to meet you!" I encourage him.

"Well alright then. There's definitely a few people I'm particularly looking forward to meeting." I could hear the mischief in his voice. Well, here's hoping Paul doesn't intimidate easily. He's a big bad werewolf, he can handle it...

—-----------

Paul is anxiously fidgeting with some random stick he found on the ground. One hand twirling it between his fingers, the other drumming on my knee. I'm sitting on one of the logs around the fire, Paul firmly planted on the ground between my legs. My fingers work their way up to comb through his hair. He instantly leans back into my palm, melting into my touch.

"You know he already loves you right?" I lean down, whispering encouragement into his ear.

His head tilts all the way back to rest upside down in my lap. The act is so endearing, I can't help but grin down at him.

"I've literally never been in a relationship that mattered enough to meet someone's father. I may be a smooth talker with you, but this is uncharted territory babe."

Billy Black, who's sitting close on my other side, overhears our whispers and clears his throat until we look his way.

"Son, I can confidently say as the father to two daughters myself. The way you care for this girl... He's going to love you."

Paul lifts his head to look Billy in the eye properly.

"Thanks, Billy." and with a nod, Billy's turning back to his friends.

My body jitters as a chill runs through me, the wind having picked up all of a sudden. Paul is instantly scooting his way to sit by my side, pulling off his sweater so he can pull it over my head, and wraps me up in his arms. It dawns on me then that it was rare to see Paul wearing a shirt, let alone a hoodie like he had been tonight.

"I didn't realize you even owned a sweater. How were you not boiling hot in this?" I question, balling my fists in the long sleeves.

"Oh I brought it for you. I didn't think you could even get cold as a wolf," he jabs at me with a smirk "but you still seem to. Wanted to keep you warm."

"Well that's very sweet. You could have just folded it though, you didn't have to sweat to death all night." As I'm talking, his scent wafts to my face and I can't help but pull the hoodie up over my nose and quietly inhale.

Paul hears me and looks over, eyes shining with some inside joke. "I thought you might like it more if It smelled like me... Guess I called it."

My cheeks flush red.

"Don't worry, It's super cute." He says chuckling to himself, pulling me into his side and planting a sweet kiss on my temple.

Peeking up to search the faces of the party, I catch the face of my father, who's staring straight at us from across the fire. Judging by the soft look in his eye, he's just seen that whole exchange.

I let out an excited squeak and bound up out of my seat, knocking Paul a bit off balance in my hurry.

"Dad!!" I scream, flinging myself into his waiting arms. Aunt Sue, who'd been his ride brushing past us to get warm by the fire.

"Hi sweetheart! Let me look at you" he says, pulling back to take in my face.

I'm grinning up at him. He's grinning right back before he looks over my shoulder.

"I think you might've been the only thing keeping that boy from rockin outta his seat kid." He says with a snort.

Turning around, I see Paul's knee is going double time and he's trying to look busy talking to Jared beside him, but I've already seen him glance over 3 times.

Suppressing a giggle I motion for my dad to follow me back to my seat.

When we reach Paul, I slip my hand onto his shoulder, a wave of peace washing over him.

"Paul, this is my dad Joel. Dad, this is Paul. I guess you've met on the phone... but it's so much better to be in his glorious presence." I exclaim in my best swooning girlfriend voice.

My dad's giving me a look like 'ease up, this boys clearly nervous enough'. But I can see in Paul's face, he's hesitating on whether he should be the polite well behaved boyfriend, or follow his gut and be himself. In the end his gut seems to win out.

"In her defense, it is pretty glorious." My dad let's out an unexpected snort.

"Ok I get it now. I'm glad she's found someone to match her level of sass." He says, reaching a hand out to Paul.

He stands and gives it a good manly shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you officially sir."

After my dad insists Paul calls him by his name, the two instantly start talking about all the things you'd expect. Football, fishing and all the most embarrassing moments of my life.

In other words, they talk all night. But Paul makes sure to keep his hand around my shoulders to keep me warm. Occasionally giving me little kisses on the side of the head, peeking down to make sure I'm alright.

I smile at him every time, and keep watching my two favorite people become part of each other's lives.

[bradshawsweetheart]

Getting this notification literally made me squeal LMFAO omg

I’m about to give you my play by play rn

The arm that she grabbed, the one that she’s hooked hers into all summer long during games of Red Rover, came clean off his body. It made a sound--something akin to a pop and similar to a squelch--and then she was holding Bob’s arm and Bob’s body was not attached to it.

I audibly gasped and yelled ‘what the fuck’ at this btw

“You’re freaking my Jake out, too.” 

Giggled at this in the midst of the horror sorry

Fanboy finally comes closer and falls to his knees. He’s trembling when you roughly grab his wrists and force his hands over Bob’s wounds. It’s a feeling that Mickey immediately knows he will never forget: the hot, torn flesh of one of his best friends right there in the palms of his hands. 

Jesus H Christ, what a visual. God. Our poor daggers.

“What are we gonna do?” Jake whispers. … “Survive,” you tell him. 

It’s giving Joel Miller. I’m a huge fan of this line.

“Look, we all know how much you love Scooby Doo, but this isn’t Mystery Inc., alright? This is real fucking life and Bob is really fucking hurt and we’re fucking stuck here,” Bradley spits.

Baby pls be nice to Javy he didn’t do anything wrong😭

He didn’t hesitate at all. He held onto Bob’s arm, checked his pulse, didn’t gag. He handed you the right items when you called for them--gauze, tape, cotton, syringe, alcohol. After everything you did last night, the love that he shared with you and the body you shared with him, and this is where you are now. Those big, brown eyes pouring into yours, lips twisted in exhaustion, blood thick on his hands and arms. … Head-to-toe, you’re covered in blood. Bradley’s sure you probably have some in your teeth, too, after the night you’ve had. But here you are all the same, beautiful and looking at him gently.

The contrast between this and Jake having to turn his back to all that’s happening because of his thing with blood is very personal to me. It’s showing Gale who can actually hang, given all that she does, and how she wouldn’t have to keep a huge part of herself from Bradley compared to Jake, for his sake, and I love this so so much.

“He’ll be arlight,” Bradley whispers to you. “It’s Bob. Bob can’t die.” 

Millothy I am watching you.

“Listen, we aren’t gonna die,” Bradley says, sighing. “Two bad things happened, okay? And whoever or, like, whatever did ‘em couldn’t even finish the job. So, I’d say we’re gonna be fine.”

I know this isn’t the case but just imagining the reason no one’s been killed yet bc it’s that freak Mable bc she’s lost her marbles or something is hilarious (and by that I mean incredibly disturbing)

“When did we all become such pussies, huh?” He asks. He turns so his profile is visible. He makes a point of not looking into the room because of the blood, so he just stares atraight ahead at the doorframe.

Jake baby I love you but saying this when you can’t even face everyone is wild LOL

“I’m willing to bet there’s one fucking freak out there, alright? And one fucking freak isn’t gonna herd us into the fucking mess hall, are they?”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” Payback says. “We’re fucked, man.” … “Stop saying we’re fucked,” Coyote says.

“What about Paul?” Bradley asks. 

That man is dead as hell, baby.

It bothers her because she knows it would bother him--being so entirely covered in grime. He’s the cleanest person she knows. 

Because he always smells like a freshly washed baby.

All the tired are slashed. Whoever is at Camp Arcadia was here, too. Maybe standing right where Bradley and Jake are now. 

Mable………….. I’m onto you.

“Grow the fuck up,” Bradley spits. 

I agree, baby. I agree.

And that’s when Bradley hears it--very faint, like it was supposed to be a secret. The clicking of the safety on the shotgun. 

GIRL WTF

“She really goes electric when you kiss her thighs,” Bradley says, the hint of a smirk tugging on his lips. “But you already knew that, right?” 

BRADLEY BRADSHAW

“Lay a hand on me again and you’re gonna live to regret it, you fucking pussy.” 

THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGGGGG

“Nothing to say, you fucking bitch?” Bradley whispers. “Still thinking about Gale riding my cock last night? I know I am.” 

THE GASP I JUST GUSPED BIIIIIIIIIITCH

“Fuck,” Jake whispers. “It’s a Swiss army knife.”

GIRL. IM SO FUCKING

♀ 𝐜𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭

♀ 𝐉𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐧 𝐱 𝐘𝐨𝐮 (𝐍𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞: 𝐍𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐞) 𝐱 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐥𝐞𝐲 𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐰 ♀ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: No one knows what to do. ♀ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 7.1k ♀ 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐥𝐲 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭. 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐬𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭--𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝟏𝟖+. 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭. ♀ 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ♀ 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 ♀ 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐩𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐲

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐎𝐚𝐤𝐬, 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐩 𝐀𝐫𝐜𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐚 𝐉𝐮𝐥𝐲 𝟐𝟏𝐬𝐭, 𝟏𝟗𝟖𝟕

“What the fuck do you mean?” You spit. 

It isn’t even that you’re trying to be vicious, even when you’re spewing the words at Phoenix as you wrench her wet hands away from your cheeks. Your face is hot from her touch, from the blood rushing up, up, up your throat and into your cheeks. 

Phoenix blinks at you, the tips of her fingers numb and her eyes full of salt. She stutters, tries to speak, chokes on her spit, then falters--running her hands down her face as she whimpers softly. 

“What’s going on?” Bradley asks, flushed at the thought of Phoenix walking in on the two of you after doing something so intimate. Instinctively, he wraps an arm around you, eyes flickering to the blankets to make sure you’re covered decently enough. You’re rigid in his arms. “What’d you say, Nix? Birdie--what’d she say?” 

“She said she thinks Bob is dead,” you say, brows furrowed. 

There’s an edge to your tone--a hard, hard edge. And as you rip the blankets off, exposing your naked body to Phoenix and Bradley and the cool night air, you move with a distinct sense of purpose and poise. You fall into this rigidness easily at the scent or sight of blood, at the scent or sight of vomit, at the sound of crying or screaming. 

You’re foggy, but something is undeniably wrong. Phoenix doesn’t get shaken up, nor does she pull pranks the way Coyote and Hangman do. She’s covered in blood and it’s real blood that has left wide and wet handprints on your cheeks. 

Something’s very, very wrong at Camp Arcadia. 

Bradley starts to scramble, pulling the sheets around himself as he gets on his feet, his mouth ajar and his heart racing. 

Phoenix is just watching the two of you in a state of dysphoria. She hasn’t been able to feel any part of her body since she found Bob by the water. 

At first, when she realized that Bob had gone to the restroom over thirty minutes ago and not come back, she’d felt a prickle of panic at the base of her spine. But then when she found his crumpled form face down in the mud by the water, she was so chock-full of panic that it nearly burst out of her in one choking scream. But instead, she’d fallen to her knees in her pajamas, grabbing onto Bob’s arm to pull him up. 

And that’s when something peculiar happened. 

The arm that she grabbed, the one that she’s hooked hers into all summer long during games of Red Rover, came clean off his body. It made a sound--something akin to a pop and similar to a squelch--and then she was holding Bob’s arm and Bob’s body was not attached to it. 

There were a few moments where she scrambled in the dark, too scared to scream and too horrified to leave Bob there alone. He didn’t stir when she fell backwards against the mud and he didn’t stir when she looked in the lantern light with her eyes wide and crying and found that the mud was a puddle of his blood. 

Now she doesn’t know what to do except watch you. 

Bradley is just standing still beside the bed, still blinking himself awake in the dark as you and Phoenix look at each other. 

Part of him wants to hold his hands up, call a timeout, and ask what the fuck is going on. 

But the other part of him is watching how diligently, how resolutely you’re readying yourself to head outside. He can imagine you in the hospital when you’re like this: all furrowed brow and flat lips, edged tone. It’s a stark contrast from you only a little while ago: soft curves, breathy moans, whispered voice, open-mouth smiles.

“You need to show me where Bob is,” you tell her very seriously, slipping into a random white blouse and stepping into your dungarees. “Is it his blood?” 

“Yes,” Phoenix manages to utter. “It--I was pulling on his arm and then it-it…I couldn’t get it to…”

You pause, bent at the hips as you slip your socks on. You look her in the eyes, straining in the dark, and nod at her. 

“You’re alright,” you tell her. “Sit down.” 

And because she doesn’t know what else to do or how to tell you that she pulled an arm off her best friend, her Bob, she just sits right where she is. She has the obedience of a Golden Retriever right now--keen to just watch you, listen to you, obey you. 

“I’ll go check it out,” Bradley says softly, moving to grab his crumpled clothing. 

“No. I’m going,” you tell him, hooking your dungarees and stuffing your feet into your tennis shoes. “Go wake the others. Have Jake get the shotgun and stay with all the campers.” 

And just like that you’re leaning down and grabbing the emergency flashlight you keep beside the dinky dresser, then stepping out into the night. Phoenix and Rooster look at each other, dumbfounded. She’s sitting on the floor covered in Bob’s blood and he’s still naked except for a sheet. 

“What happened?” He asks cautiously. 

All the other nurses at the hospital like to tease that you wear horse-blinders in emergencies. You see nothing, hear nothing, feel nothing when you’re working if it has zilch to do with your current task. You hear doctors ordering epi and heart monitors crooning, but you don’t hear the squeak of your tennis shoes on the tile or the music playing at the nurse’s station down the hall. 

Right now, you don’t hear the crickets and cicadas nor the owls or the wind through the oak trees that surround you. You don’t see the moonlight reflecting off the lake so perfectly that the water appears black and white--serene. You don’t hear gravel crunching under your soles and you don’t hear the buzzing of the flashlight. You don’t see the fireflies or the open door to the latrine. 

“Bob!” You yell--your voice echoes across the entirety of camp. It’s so loud, so booming, that across the lake a few bats fly out of the trees and haphazardly flap around. “Bob!”

There is no response. 

Jake wakes up to the sound of your voice--Bob! Bob! Bob! He sits up slowly in his cot, still dizzy from nearly fainting a few hours ago. It’s so dark in the cabin that he has to blink a few times to let his eyes adjust--and when they do adjust, he sees Coyote swinging his legs out the side of his cot and peering out the window. 

“That Gale?” Coyote asks, voice drenched in fatigue. “Christ, what could that girl be screaming about at four in the motherfucking morning?” 

“That’s a bad word,” Martha says, yawning and rubbing her eyes. “Who’s screaming? Is something the matter?” 

Jake sits up--a pit in his stomach. 

“Nah,” Coyote answers, standing up. “We’re all good, Martha. Go back to sleep, alright? We’ll check it out.” 

Coyote yawns again, glancing at Jake. 

A look of deep, deep concern is etched on Jake’s features. He doesn’t like the tone of your voice--the way it’s so loud and serious. It sears his eardrums. 

“The fuck happened to Bob?” Jake mutters to Coyote, standing also.

But before Coyote can answer, Rooster is pounding on their door. Not a regular, casual knock. Not even an asshole-ish get fucked knock. It’s panicked and severe. Coyote can’t get the door open fast enough. 

“Cheese and rice, man! Trying to wake all my campers?” Coyote asks, wrenching the door open. 

Rooster can hardly breathe from running so fast to your cabin. Phoenix’s story is still ringing in his ears, everything else in the world muted and dull. 

“Jake, get the gun,” Rooster says immediately, not even taking the time to step into the cabin. “Gather all the kids--all of them--and put them in the mess hall, alright? And don’t-don’t fucking leave ‘em, alright? Stay with ‘em. Coyote, Gale needs our help.” 

“What happened to Gale?” Jake asks, voice hard and brows furrowed. 

Rooster doesn’t answer--his mind is racing, spinning, crashing, burning. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Coyote says, holding his palms up, glancing over his shoulder at all his campers rustling themselves awake and sitting up with wide-eyes and wicked bed head. “The Hell’re you doing, man? You’re freakin’ the kids out.” 

Rooster swallows hard--is throat is warm and thick with bile that he keeps swallowing down.

“Bob’s in a bad way, man. And it wasn’t no accident either.”

“Hey. How do we know that, huh?” Coyote warns, shaking his head. He’s never been one to fall into his role in mass hysteria. His voice is even and deep even though his heart is starting to pound. He glances back at Jake--who is wide-eyed and staring at Rooster with his face entirely paled. “You’re freaking my Jake out, too.” 

Rooster swallows hard, ignores Coyote. 

He looks Jake in the eyes--really, truly looks him in the eyes. Man-to-man. Man-to-whatever-the fuck-Jake-thinks-Bradley-is.

“Get the gun.”

And with that, Rooster’s off. He’s racing towards his cabin with all the littles there--all the littles he left behind, all alone, totally defenseless. There’s a rock in his gut, one that is sinking further and further until he feels like he’s running with led shoes on. 

He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for or what he’s about to run into when he opens the door to his cabin. He doesn't know what he’s going to do if he finds all his campers slashed--if they didn’t have him there to protect them from whatever, from whoever, hurt Bob.

“Hey!” Rooster screams as he opens the cabin door. 

There’s no thick scent of blood. There’s not a single camper with so much as a scratch. They’re all there, awake, huddled together like little chicks in the corner. 

“Is Mister Bob okay?” Susie asks softly. 

Bradley, standing opposite them with his chest heaving and his eyes wet, swallows hard. 

“We’ve gotta get outta here, chicks,” Rooster says. “Grab your blankies and line up pronto.”   

When the bright white beam of your flashlight slices through the night and lands on Bob, you break out in a sprint. His form is crumpled--he looks like a pile of stained laundry. You feel like your feet aren’t moving fast enough, like your flashlight isn’t bright enough. 

But almost instantaneously, you’re on your knees beside Bob in the bloodied mud, pressing two of your fingers to his throat. You have a hard time at it--all the hot blood making his smooth skin slippery. 

“Bob, it’s Nightingale,” you say calmly. “I’m just gonna feel for a pulse, alright, buddy? Just hold still.” 

He doesn’t so much as twitch. 

For the first time tonight, your heart sinks. A thought flashes across the forefront of your brain, caressing the backs of your aching eyeballs, settling somewhere between your brain and your skull: I didn’t have a nightmare and then someone died. No, not someone. Bob. Bob died.  

But then the thought is gone, dead, faded when you feel it against your two fingers: a pulse, right on his jugular where it should be. Not strong, but nothing he can’t come back from.

“Oh, good. Good job, Bob. Good, good,” you whisper softly to Bob. Your heart is swollen suddenly, which usually doesn’t happen to you during triage. But you’ve never worked on Bob before. You’ve never worked on anyone you love before. And there’s no doctor here to order you around, to tell you what to do next. Fuck. “Hey! I need help!”  

With the flashlight tucked between your knees, Bob’s form all shadows and blood and placid skin, you begin to inspect the bloodied stump where is arm once was. It’s a clean cut, one solid hack straight through the flesh and fat and veins and bone. Blood is pouring out of the wound and pooling around your bent legs. 

He’s so heaped up that you cannot see his face at all--just bits of pale skin here and there, scraps of his shirt and his broken glasses. So, you very carefully but firmly hold onto both his cheeks and turn his face towards you. He’s covered in mud, bits of blood. 

“I’m going to clear your airways,” you tell him. His eyelids twitch. You stick your fingers into his mouth, hook them, and scrape all the mud off his tongue. The breaths puffing from his nose are short and labored. “Good job. Good, good job.” 

You hear a noise--running on gravel--and don’t turn to see who it is. 

“Oh my fucking God!” Fanboy shrieks, stopping dead in his tracks. 

Paybacks stops, too, his mouth wide open and his eyes glassy. 

“Fuck,” Payback whispers, blinking rapidly as you press your bare hands to Bob’s wound and press down hard. He bends over, holding onto his knees, and reels as his head spins. “I’m gonna hurl.” 

Snapping to attention, you glance over at them. In the thin beam of their flashlight, you almost look monstrous. There’s blood all over you, two handprints on your cheeks like war paint, and your face is serious and hard. 

“I need a belt,” you tell them. Then you swallow hard, shaking your head. No one’s gonna have a belt. Everyone packs shorts and t-shirts. “I need--I need something, alright? I need one of you to go and look for something that we can tie around his arm.” 

Fanboy has gone pale. Payback’s eyes are shut tight. 

“His fucking arm’s gone,” Fanboy says softly, brown eyes wide. “His fucking--his fucking arm is gone, man!” 

Your heart is hammering in your chest as more blood pours down your arms. 

Scrambling for something, anything, you hold tight to Bob’s already-torn shirt and rip until a jagged shred comes off into your hands. 

“I need help,” you tell the two men still staring at you. Behind them, the camp is starting to come alive with alarm. Campers hurrying with their counselors into the mess hall, counselors running around doing headcounts and carrying lanterns and flashlights. “Like, now!” 

Fanboy finally comes closer and falls to his knees. He’s trembling when you roughly grab his wrists and force his hands over Bob’s wounds. It’s a feeling that Mickey immediately knows he will never forget: the hot, torn flesh of one of his best friends right there in the palms of his hands. 

You make very quick work of tying a tourniquet around Bob’s wound, just above the cut. You pull the t-shirt so tight that it begins to rip again. The blood is already slowing--thank fucking God. 

“What the fuck happened?” Fanboy mutters to you. 

“Someone cut his fucking arm off, man!” Payback calls out, spitting into the dirt when his mouth fills with water. “Oh--oh, God…do you think they’re coming back?” 

Fanboy’s heart is in his belly. He’s never heard Payback like this before: scared. Genuinely, actually, thoroughly scared. 

You interrupt the frenzy. 

“We need to get him to the mess hall,” you say decidedly. It’s closest to where you are now--no chance you’re gonna make it to the nurse’s cabin. “Now.”

“I’m freaking, Gale,” Payback tells you, choked with tears. “Oh my God…Bob…” 

Fanboy turns to you, eyes wide with panic. You’re staring back at him, eyes wide and serious. 

“We’re gonna lift him on three, okay? I’m gonna take his head so you don’t have to worry about his arm. I’ve got it.” 

Because of the way you’re speaking to him--calm, even, serious--and because of the expression on your face--placid, severe--Fanboy nods instantly. You’re a lighthouse right now, shining light on his face, pulling him in towards land during a storm. You’ve got this. He knows that you do. And all he can do right now is listen. 

Payback is beside himself, sobbing into his palms, frozen in his spot, on the verge of vomiting. Any other time, you would be there beside him, offering him ginger candy and a cold compress. But right now you have to worry about Bob. 

The mess hall is crowded with kids in their pajamas, clutching secret teddy bears and asking their counselor for the millionth time what’s going on.

Jake is standing by the door with the shotgun, making sure it’s loaded as he waits to hear from you. His fingers are trembling and every time he looks over at Phoenix, who’s sitting at one of the wooden tables, his head fills with cotton. 

She’s covered in blood--all down her arms, her hands, the front of her pajama shirt, her shorts, her legs. Phoenix is sitting silently, very still, where she is. She can’t stop thinking about the sound that Bob’s arm made when it came off his body. And, more than that, she keeps thinking that everyone here is going to die. It’s gnawing at her like a rat with an electrical cord--it’s bound to blow up, end in flames. 

Coyote is doing another headcount, his brows furrowed. All the kids keep fidgeting and it’s making it hard to keep count, but he’s somehow doing it. Everyone’s here. It’s okay. He stands before them with his hands on his hips, chewing his bottom lip. 

Bradley comes into the mess hall later than everyone else, haphazardly dressed and with a string of little chicks following him blindly, all trying to clutch his shirt at the same time. 

“Everyone got their headcount?” Coyote asks as Bradley settles his kids beside all the others. 

“Yeah,” Bradley answers. “We’re all here.” 

Jake is just about to say something, anything, whenever Payback comes into the mess hall. His hands are on his face and he’s bent at the hips as he dry-heaves. Everyone watches in utter silence, shocked, when he cuts across the wide-plank floors and to the kitchen. 

“The fuck is the matter with him?” Coyote mutters. 

But then they hear it--you. You’re carrying Bob’s upper body, straining with all your might, exhaling with a grunt as you and Fanboy get closer to the mess hall door. 

You’re close, you remind yourself. Almost there. Just a little more. 

“You okay?” Fanboy asks. He’s straining too. 

“Yeah,” you answer through grit teeth.

But your arms are shivering with defeat, your body vibrating with exhaustion. You feel like you aren’t going to make it the rest of the ten paces to the entrance of the mess hall. You feel like you’re losing already and you don’t know how to stop it. 

You aren’t strong enough to hold Bob. You’re going to drop him here on the gravel. All hope is draining from your body like blood--pooling around your knees. You won’t be able to save him.

Then, in the very dark night, someone calls your name. Not just one voice, but two--it’s Coyote and Bradley. They’re rushing towards you and Fanboy and Bob. 

“Help!” You call out desperately, tears suddenly pouring down your face. “Help us!”

“Fuck,” Coyote mutters when he sees Bob for the first time. And he suddenly understands what the fuck was from with Payback. His belly turns but he hooks his arms beneath Bob’s torso anyway and pulls him up. “I’ve got ‘im!”

 Bradley comes to take your spot, carefully but hastily hooking his arms around Bob the way you had been. When you let go and Bob doesn’t fall and they’re carrying him to the mess hall, you have to stand still for a moment to breathe. They’re a few paces ahead of you, ushering Bob inside. And then they will be waiting for you, looking at you for guidance. 

Panic is licking at your heels like a hungry dog. You kick it away, wipe your face of tears, and then turn towards the nurse’s cabin. 

“I--I have to go get supplies!” You call out. “I’ll be back in a jiff!” 

That’s when Jake suddenly comes out of the mess hall, very carefully maneuvering around Bob and everyone else. In his cropped baseball tee and his shorts, holding that shotgun with all the authority of an outlaw, he shakes his head at you. He would never let you go alone. 

“I’m coming with you,” he says, already making his way towards you. 

“I’m covered in blood,” you tell him, sniffling.

Fuck. You wipe your face again. No more crying.  

He chews his bottom lip. 

“It’s dark. I can’t see you,” he says. “Let’s giddy on up.”

He wishes, more than anything, that the world would stop for just a second. Just so he could look at you, just so he could help put your hair up, just so he could hold your cheeks and look for injury, just so he could look into your eyes and see their color and let all the feeling come back into his toes.

“We’ve gotta go quick,” you tell him. “That t-shirt tourniquet ain’t gonna last.” 

The two of you run to the nurse’s cabin together, your tears fading the closer you get to the door of the cabin. 

“The fuck is happening?” Jake says to you. “What happened to him?” 

You shake your head, panting, flicking the lightswitch on in the nurse’s cabin. Jake, who had been watching your shadowed form, has to look away from you. He stands in the doorway, his back facing you, and aims his gun at all the nothing out there before him. 

He listens to you--all those human sounds you’re making. You keep sniffling and wiping your face. He knows you’re crying, which to him seems to be a very natural response to what’s happening here right now, but he knows that it’s bothering you, too. Your footsteps are heavy and rushed as you grab gauze and medical tape and first aid. 

Jake just listens. 

He’s waiting, almost, for something to materialize in the dark and come rushing towards him. A man, a beast, a creature, a monster, a ghost. He isn’t sure what--he just feels like it’s coming. It is going to come. Quietly as he knows how, he flicks the safety off. Just in case. 

“Is he gonna die?” Jake asks. 

Swallowing hard, your arms full of antiseptic, you shake your head. 

“No. But we can’t stay here. We’ve gotta--we’ve gotta get the fuck outta here.” 

“But the tree,” Jake says. He can feel you nodding, even without looking at you. “And the phones are out.” 

“I know,” you tell him, shaking your head. Brain pulsing a mile a minute, you strain to remember if you need anything more than you have on the table. “I know.” 

“What are we gonna do?” Jake whispers. 

You swallow hard. 

“Survive,” you tell him. 

♀

It’s strange that the sun is shining. It’s strange that birds are calling and the lake is rippling. There’s not a cloud in the sky, just vast baby blue that stretches on forever and ever. And the air is suddenly perfumed with irises--which seemed to have literally bloomed overnight in spurts of violet and deep green. 

Really, it’s a beautiful day. 

But everyone is still huddled inside. The campers are itching to get outside, to return to some normalcy, but not one of them is brave enough to ask about it. Jake’s been sitting by the door all night with the shotgun, eyes narrowed and laser-focused. Phoenix, Fanboy, and Payback are all sitting at the picnic tables, saying nothing to each other, their eyes drooping and their chests aching. 

Bradley and Coyote are in the kitchen with you and Bob, each of you sitting around him. It was a long, long night. The worst night of your life, probably. There are no windows in the kitchen so you cannot smell the irises in here--all you can smell is burnt flesh from where you held a burning frying pan to Bob’s wound to cauterize it. 

“It’s almost ten,” Coyote sighs, running his hands down his face. His fingers are stained with blood. “What are we gonna do?” 

“Stick it out,” Bradley answers. His shoulder is just barely grazing yours and it’s keeping him going right now--those brief and accidental grazes. You two didn’t get to live long in the afterglow so this is as much as he gets now. “What else are we gonna do?” 

“Investigate,” Coyote answers. “Look around. See what we find.” 

“What would we find?” Bradley asks. 

It’s quiet for a moment. Coyote readjusts on the tiles and shrugs. 

“A weapon,” he asnwers. “The weapon. A fucking…I don’t know. A clue?”  

Bradley scoffs. 

“Look, we all know how much you love Scooby Doo, but this isn’t Mystery Inc., alright? This is real fucking life and Bob is really fucking hurt and we’re fucking stuck here,” Bradley spits. “Whatever the fuck is happening here is real and we’re living it and there’s not clues to find.” 

The tips of Coyote’s ears burn with rage. 

But then you clear your throat.

“Coyote’s right,” you say softly. “Maybe we should go in shifts. Let the kids stretch their legs. We’re gonna go crazy if we’re cooped up in here all day.” 

Rooster scoffs again, shaking his head. 

“What, the killer only comes at night?” 

“Appears that way,” you whisper back. 

You look at him--the one who’s been your right-hand man all night and into this beautiful morning. He didn’t hesitate at all. He held onto Bob’s arm, checked his pulse, didn’t gag. He handed you the right items when you called for them--gauze, tape, cotton, syringe, alcohol. After everything you did last night, the love that he shared with you and the body you shared with him, and this is where you are now. Those big, brown eyes pouring into yours, lips twisted in exhaustion, blood thick on his hands and arms. 

And he’s looking at you, too. He watched you work all night--really, really work--and not once did you stumble. You did some of the most ugly and life-saving things for Bob and you didn’t so much as flinch when you did it. Head-to-toe, you’re covered in blood. Bradley’s sure you probably have some in your teeth, too, after the night you’ve had. But here you are all the same, beautiful and looking at him gently.

“We need to make a plan,” Coyote says. 

You nod at once. Bradley nods, but doesn’t look away from you. 

Looking down at Bob, his flaxen face and his fluttering eyelids, you sigh. He’s alive. He’s alive and that’s all that matters right now and you’ve done all you can do and that’s that. Part of you wishes he would wake up and tell everyone what happened. The other part of you, the more sober and logical part of you, is glad he isn’t awake to feel the pain. 

“He’ll be arlight,” Bradley whispers to you. “It’s Bob. Bob can’t die.” 

You sniff again, shake your head. 

“Let’s get everyone in here, huh?” 

Everyone does squeeze into the kitchen--which is far too small. Jake stands at the door, his back turned to everyone, and keeps the shotgun aimed for the main entrance. 

“He’s…alive?” Fanboy asks from beside Payback, glancing down at Bob’s body splayed on the tiles. 

“Yes,” you whisper. “But he won’t be if we don’t figure out how to get out of here.” 

Phoenix sighs, sniffles, rubs the tears under her eyes. 

“What about the bus?” She asks. 

“It’s older than us,” Jake says, shaking his head soberly. “Besides, I’m sure the gas is bad.” 

Coyote nods. 

“He’s right. Ain’t no way that bus is getting us out of here.” 

“Well, even if it did work, we couldn’t get out of here,” Bradley says. 

“The tree,” you follow. 

A lull falls over the group. Everyone is picking their skin, blinking, rubbing the toes of their shoes against the tiles.  

“So, what are we gonna do?” Payback asks. “Do we just…wait until Mav and Pen come for the next supply run?” 

Coyote exhales long and hard through his nose. 

“That ain’t until the first week of August,” he says softly. “No way we’ll be alive by then.” 

Phoenix snaps up, staring hard at Coyote. 

“Is that some sort of joke?” She asks, brows furrowed. She wraps her arms around herself as her heart races. “‘Cause no one’s laughing.” 

Coyote blinks at her. 

“I wasn’t joking,” he says. 

Another lull falls over the group. 

“Listen, we aren’t gonna die,” Bradley says, sighing. “Two bad things happened, okay? And whoever or, like, whatever did ‘em couldn’t even finish the job. So, I’d say we’re gonna be fine.” 

Now Fanboy scoffs loudly--it echoes off the tiles. 

“Fine? You think we’re gonna be fine? Bob’s arm is fucking gone! Phoenix pulled it off!” Fanboy says, gesturing wildly. “We don’t have enough food to last us until August and we can’t go trotting on down the trail and cut the fucking tree down ‘cause someone’ll cut us down! We’re fucked, man. We’re totally fucked.” 

Jake shakes his head. And before anyone else can speak, Jake starts. 

“When did we all become such pussies, huh?” He asks. He turns so his profile is visible. He makes a point of not looking into the room because of the blood, so he just stares atraight ahead at the doorframe. “Why the fuck are we sitting around in here when we should be using the daylight to our advantage? Shit, how many of us are there? Seven?” 

“Six,” Phoenix answers, nodding to Bob. Her heart aches--genuienly aches--when Bob doesn’t turn to her and roll his eyes. “There’s six of us, really.” 

“Fine. There’s six of us. And whoever is out there--shit, there’s gotta only be one of them, right? ‘Cause they didn’t get the job done both times.” 

“But we don’t know that,” Fanboy says. “There could be a bunch.” 

“I’m willing to bet there’s one fucking freak out there, alright? And one fucking freak isn’t gonna herd us into the fucking mess hall, are they? We need to get out there. Figure this all out.” 

You’re shaking your head softly. 

“There’s nothing to figure out,” Payback says. “We’re fucked, man.” 

“Stop saying we’re fucked,” Coyote says. “We don’t even know what we are yet.” 

“Okay, fine. We’re not fucked yet. But Bob is,” Fanboy says, glancing down at Bob. “Shit, I bet these kids are fucked, too.” 

“Shut the fuck up,” Phoenix hisses suddenly, turning towards Fanboy and shoving a finger in his face. “Don’t fucking talk about Bob like he isn’t here! He’s right here!”

“But is he?” Payback says. And he doesn’t say it to be a dick. He says it because he means it, really has to ask it. 

Phoenix sniffles, shaking her head. 

“Yes,” you answer for her, voice very quiet and calm. “Yes, he’s right here.” 

It’s quiet for a moment. The campers are starting to whine about being hungry. 

“What about Paul?” Bradley asks. 

Brows furrow. 

“What about him?” Coyote asks. “Like, you think he’s the killer?” 

Bradley shakes his head. 

“Nah, man. He’s too old. But he’s--he’s still out there. Maybe he has a truck or a radio or-or something we can use, right?” 

Everyone nods slowly. 

“But then who’s gonna go there?” Fanboy asks. 

“Yeah, that’s a trek through the woods,” Payback answers. “Count me the fuck out, man.”

“Don’t be such a pussy,” Jake spits. 

“Knock it off,” you whisper--it’s only just loud enough for everyone to hear. “We’ve gotta be on the same page or we really aren’t going to make it, okay?” 

“I just…I don’t even know what we’re up against,” Phoenix whispers. “I’m so confused.”

You pat her knee softly. 

“I know,” you whisper. “None of us do.” 

“I know whatever we’re up against is too much of a scaredy cat to come out during the day,” Jake says. “Which is why we would be taking advantage of the sun.” 

“You don’t know that, though. You really don’t. You’re just guessing,” Bradley sighs. “We need to all agree on one plan.” 

You subtly let your fingers fall on Bob’s throat--the pulse is still there. No change. 

Phoenix carefully slips her hand into Bob’s--he’s still warm. She squeezes hard. 

“I don’t wanna leave Bob,” Phoenix whispers. She begins to weep all over again, face contorting in agony. “I really don’t wanna leave Bob.” 

“Okay. Phoenix and I stay with Bob,” you say, nodding. “We should get the axes and, like, any other weapons we can find. Lock the cabins up so no one can surprise us.” 

Everyone nods slowly. 

“Then what?” Fanboy asks. 

You sigh. Your legs are cramping from having them bent all night, but you don’t stretch out. 

“We’ll sleep in shifts. Armed escorts to the latrine. We’ll wait.”

“For what?” Jake asks quietly. “A miracle?” 

“Help,” you whisper. “We’ll wait for help.” 

Bradley nods rapidly, peeling his eyes away from your tired, bloodied face. 

“She’s right,” he says. “We should just wait for help.” 

Coyote sighs deeply, running his hands down his face for the millionth time today.

“I feel like we’re bait,” he says. “I don’t wanna be bait, man.” 

“We’re not bait,” you answer. “We’re not. We have the…the mean to protect ourselves. We’ve got the campers to think of, too, okay? So, we just need to keep our heads.” 

“Yeah, or they’ll be cut off…” Fanboy whispers. 

Coyote nudges him. 

“Enough with the doom and gloom, alright? She’s right. We’ve gotta keep our heads.” 

Everyone starts to move after that. 

You and Phoenix stay right there with Bob, your hand on her leg, her face buried in her own shoulder as she weeps. Coyote offers to clear our the rooms of necessary items and lock them all up. Payback and Fanboy start lining the kids up to go to the latrine and stretch their legs. Bradley and Jake start for the bus barn to look for a final time, just to confirm what they already know. 

Finally, it’s quiet in the mess hall. So quiet that you can hear the swallows chirping outside and the wind blowing through the trees. You can hear Bob breathing--very faint and very quiet. 

Phoenix turns her wet face towards Bob finally, her throat constricting. She smooths a hand through his hair, sniffling hard. 

“Does he…does he hurt?” 

“No,” you whisper, shaking your head. “He’s in shock. And, besides, I gave him a morphine tablet.” 

Phoenix nods. It makes her chest feel less tight than it did before. 

“What could even cut through like that?” Phoenix whispers, shaking her head. “I mean, not a knife, right?” 

“Definitely not a seashell,” you whisper. 

A sad smile tugs at her lips. 

“An ax?” She whispers. You say nothing. She knows she’s right. “What’s happening, Gale?” 

Again, you sigh.

“I’m not sure,” you answer. “I just don’t know.” 

Phoenix stares down at Bob again. He almost doesn’t look like himself because of all the blood and mud. It bothers her because she knows it would bother him--being so entirely covered in grime. He’s the cleanest person she knows. 

“He’d hate being so dirty,” she whispers to you. She carefully strokes his cheek. “He showers twice a day.” 

And because you don’t know what else to do and because you’re choked up and because you’re so exhausted and because you’re so scared, you stand on wobbly legs. And then you move to the sink and turn the tap on and wait for it to warm. Your knees are trembling and your undereyes are pulsing, but you keep your fingers beneath the stream anyway. Then you wet a few rags, fill a small container, and slowly come back to Phoenix. 

Neither of you say anything, choked on the humanness of the situation, as you both begin to diligently wipe at the dirt and gore that covers Bob’s skin. It’s very quiet except for dripping water and occasional sniffles. 

If anyone else were to walk in this room right now, Bob’s body without an arm and cauterized with a frying pan and you and Phoenix drenched in his blood, they would think that you are preparing him for his funeral. They would think that in this time of crisis, when there is someone out there that wants to hurt everyone else and no one knows who they are or where or what or why or how, you and Phoenix are doing what you can. You’re being as human as human can be, washing the blood off Bob even though he isn’t awake to feel it or see it. 

You wring a rag in the bucket--it’s color is that of red clay. 

Across camp, Jake and Bradley are standing before the bus now. Their hands are on their hips and they’re squinting beneath the sun, chewing their bottom lips. 

“Fuck,” Bradley whispers. 

“I was gonna say that,” Jake whispers. 

All the tired are slashed. Whoever is at Camp Arcadia was here, too. Maybe standing right where Bradley and Jake are now. 

Jake sighs. 

“What now?” Bradley asks. 

“We listen to Gale,” Jake answers. 

Rooster nods, swallowing hard. 

“Alright,” he says. “Yeah.” 

Maybe it’s Jake’s fault for bringing you up right now. Maybe it’s Bradley’s fault for agreeing. But now both of them are sitting uncomfortably in the thick of their feelings for you, shifting their weights from one foot to another. 

And for whatever reason, Jake thinks about Bradley coming to his cabin early this morning. He thinks about the direction he came from--your cabin--and the direction he went--his cabin. 

“Hey, man,” Jake says, wandering forward to run a finger along the dusty bus. Rooster watches from the doorway, still taking it all in. “Why weren’t you in your cabin last night?” 

“Now isn’t the time, Seresin,” Rooster grumbles. “We need to go grab the axes. Let’s go.” 

Jake doesn’t move. 

“Where were you? Bathroom break?” 

Bradley stares at him. His jaw is squared. 

“You’re really doing this right now?” He asks, incredulous. 

Jake just nods. 

“You know where I was,” Bradley says softly. “Can we go now?” 

Jake swallows hard. He doesn’t know why he’s getting into this--he isn’t dumb, he knows right now isn’t the time. But he’s so exhausted and he hasn’t been able to look at you all day and all last night. He almost fainted because you had a fucking bloody nose. He doesn’t know what’s going on and he’s scared and worried and stressed, but instead of feeling all of that he’s decided to just feel angry. Angry at Bradley. 

“I wanna hear you say it.” 

Bradley turns his back, scoffing loudly. 

“Grow the fuck up,” Bradley spits. 

And that’s when Bradley hears it--very faint, like it was supposed to be a secret. The clicking of the safety on the shotgun. 

Rooster whirls around, eyes wide. Jake is staring at him, shotgun in his hands and aimed towards the ground. 

“Did you just turn the safety off?” Rooster asks. The tips of his ears are bright red. 

Jake’s face screws up as if he’s been insulted. 

“Are you fucking mental? Of course I didn’t,” Jake spits. “But I bet you made it with Nightingale last night, didn’t you?” 

Bradley takes a step forward, eyes narrowed. 

“Yeah. I did.” 

Jake’s jaw drops. 

“You’re lying,” he seethes. 

“She really goes electric when you kiss her thighs,” Bradley says, the hint of a smirk tugging on his lips. “But you already knew that, right?” 

“Yeah, I did,” Jake whispers. “I made her cum. Three times.” 

“And then never again,” Bradley says. “We’re together now.” 

“Bullshit you are!” Jake says. “Fuck you, man. You think you’re such a macho guy, huh? Making all the decisions for her!” 

Rooster barks out a laugh. 

“I think she made her choice last night,” he tells Jake. “So, while Coyote read you a bedtime story, Gale and I made it official.” 

“You don’t get to just date whatever you fuck,” Jake seethes. “Then every tubesock in the world would be lawfully yours.” 

“Fuck you,” Rooster spits. 

He shoves Jake’s shoulders. Jake stumbles only slightly, the gun tight in his grip. 

“Fuck you, man,” Jake returns, slamming the side of the shotgun into Bradley’s chest until he stumbles back, too. 

And because he’s so fucking pissed that he didn’t get to wake up basked in sunlight beside you, fresh and clean and without hurt and without incident, Bradley steps back to Jake until they’re nose-to-nose. 

“Lay a hand on me again and you’re gonna live to regret it, you fucking pussy.” 

It’s the nastiest thing Bradley’s ever said to Jake. 

And because Jake is so drunk on you and the thought of you and Bradley touching each other makes him feel like a suffocated bottlerocket, he scowls at Bradley. 

With all the commotion, Coyote wanders over to the bus barn. He doesn’t know who the fuck decided Bradley and Jake should be paired off together, but he’s cursing it now as he approaches and sees the two of them nose-to-nose. 

“Nothing to say, you fucking bitch?” Bradley whispers. “Still thinking about Gale riding my cock last night? I know I am.” 

Coyote steps into the barn. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Jake screams. 

He starts to wind up his arm, but then Coyote has his arms around him and he’s choving the gun away from Jake and pulling him back. 

“Knock it the fuck off!” Coyote demands, shoving Jake to the side. “You, too, Bradshaw! Keep your fucking heads. Now isn’t the time to play tug-of-war, alright. Don’t be fucking idiots.” 

Bradley and Jake are still staring at each other. Each of them are thinking about how good it would feel to let their fists come down on the other’s face over and over again and then leave them face down in the dirt. 

“He’s right,” Bradley says. “Someone probably should’ve stayed with the girls anyway. Just in case.” 

Jake spits--it lands right near Bradley’s shoes. 

“Stop,” Coyote demands. “Get outta here, Bradshaw.” 

And then Bradley is gone and Coyote is staring at Jake, disappointed but not surprised. It was bound to boil over eventually. Coyote knows how Jake feels about you. He knows how much it hurts--how much it’s going to hurt. 

“You alright?” Coyote asks. 

Jake is standing with his back on the bus, facing the ground, his eyes narrowed and his lips twisted. His fists are clenched and his cheeks are red. 

“Is anyone fine?” Jake asks, voice quiet and angry. 

“You know what I mean, man,” Coyote says. He sighs, runs his hand along his curls.

They don’t say anything for a long moment. 

They’re both just looking around, trying to think of anything to say other than they’re fucked and they’re pissed. Coyote’s searching the room, taking in all the dust and the dirt. He sees the slashed tires. But then something catches his eye--something bright red and small. It’s stuck in the tire, planted there like it belongs. 

“The fuck is that?” Coyote whispers. 

Jake glances up, follows Coyote’s gaze. 

Their mouths go dry identically when they realize what it is. 

“Fuck,” Jake whispers. “It’s a Swiss army knife.”

♀ 𝐚/𝐧: hi guys....

♀ 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

♀ 𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝

♀ 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐞𝐥 𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐧 𝐀𝐎𝟑

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[kimikaami]

Sorry but if you rap/sing about how privileged you are you are a) a garbage person and b) not making real art

[the-iceni-bitch]

How Sweet it is When You Steal It

Kinktober Day IV: Stepcest

Pairing: himbo!stepbrother Jake Jensen x kinda gray!stepsister reader

Words: ~2.1k

Summary: Jake can’t take a hint.

Warnings: explicit language, explicit sexual content (lots of teasing, fingering, handjob, unprotected vaginal sex, shower sex, cream pie), Jake is awkward and adorable and so dumb, bug smooshing, SMUT!!! 18+ ONLY!!!

A/N: He’s so cute and stupid, I wuv him!!

I am no longer doing taglists so if you want to stay up to date on all the latest filth, follow my sideblog @the-iceni-library and turn on notifications!!

“Hi Jakey!”

“Hi pumpki-in.” Jake almost swallowed his tongue when he looked up to greet you and choked at the sight of you in your adorable little cheerleader outfit, wishing he could curse as an unbelievable amount of lewd teasing started coming through his headset. “How was the game?”

“Oh shit, the cheerleader uniform?” He was going to kill all of them the next time he saw them, but Colin was definitely going first. “Take a fucking picture, Jay. How short is the skirt? Like, does she have to bend over at all for you to see panties?”

“Shut up, asshole.” Jake snarled into his mic as he tried to smile at you, whimpering when you opened the fridge and bent over so he got a full view of the panties all the guys were so interested in.

“It was good, we won!” You practically skipped over to the couch and sat on the back of it right next to his head, like, he wouldn’t even have to stretch if he wanted to nibble on your thigh. “How is your game going?”

“Tell her it was going fine until your cocktease of a stepsister showed up, Jensen.” And Drysdale was next, he was going to get creative with it too. “For fuck’s sake man, just let her suck your cock like she’s so obviously creamy for so we can quit having all these interruptions.”

“It’s good, we’ve done this run before.” He sucked in a harsh breath when you swung one leg over the back of the couch so your cotton covered pussy was right in front of his face, but that was a bad idea because then the scent of you was filling his lungs and Paul was asking if this was better or worse than the time you’d crawled into his lap wearing nothing but your panties and sleep cami while you watched a scary movie and he wanted to die. “Sorry I missed it. You wanna go get some food?”

“No, I’m all sweaty, I’m gonna go take a shower.” Jake was so happy you couldn’t hear all the suggestions his friends were making about exactly what he should feed you, and really hoped that the heat in his face didn’t mean he was beet red when you hopped off the couch and stretched. “But maybe we can order some Korean or something when I’m done?”

“Yeah, okay.” The way his voice cracked at the end of his sentence when you pulled your top off in full view of him was painful, and then he almost wrenched his neck snapping his vision away from you so he didn’t see anything while the idiots in his headset speculated about what exactly you were doing to torture him now. “All of you shut up! You’re so goddamn stupid, let just do this run.”

“You’re the stupid one, Jensen.” Lance could fuck right off. “Your little pumpkin stepsister is basically presenting her pussy to you on a silver platter and you’re too chickenshit to do anything about it.”

“Yeah, she’s my stepsister, asshole.” He took a long gulp of his slurpee to try to calm down. “She’s not presenting her… herself to me, you’re all just perverts.”

“Oh, she’s not?” Fucking Andy now, his kill list was getting long. “Let’s review; we already mentioned the almost naked lap sitting. There’s also the constant asking if she’s not wearing enough to go out in public, her begging to sleep in your bed because of thunderstorms, the seeming inability to go without touching you for more than ten seconds in the same room, oh that very unsisterly kiss she gave you at the Christmas party last year that she justified with mistletoe. Did I miss anything?”

“The masturbating.” Jake hated that he could hear Ari’s amusement when he growled over the headset.

“Ah yes, the masturbating! Do you think she bought the loudest vibrator on the planet on purpose, Jake? Or that she really can’t help but moan and pant and sob like a damn pornstar when she knows you’re in the next room?”

Jake was about to tell them all they could fuck each other when he heard you shriek, cursing when he spilled his slurpee all over himself as he rose to his feet in a rush as he ripped off the headset before charging towards the bathroom. He almost tore the door off the hinges when you screamed again, his eyes wild when he saw you cowering in the corner completely naked but barely registered it.

“What? What the fuck happened?” He couldn’t keep his eyes in one place as he tried to figure out what had made you scream like that. “Are you hurt!?”

“There’s a spider…spider!” You pointed towards the bathtub and yelped when he ripped the shower curtain open. “It’s so big, and it jumped! Kill it, Jakey!”

Normally Jake would have just scooped the thing up with a newspaper and taken it outside, but you were damn near hysterical. So he apologized under his breath before grabbing some toilet paper and smooshing the dime sized house spider that had the misfortune of terrifying you, then flushed his victim down the toilet.

“You scared the shit out of me, pumpkin, I thought someone came in the wind… fuck.” He suddenly realized how very naked you were, naked and curvy and smooth and very close to him in his tiny bathroom. “I’ll leave you to it, then!”

“You’re my hero, Jakey! Wait!” You stepped in front of the door when he tried to leave, biting your lip and batting your eyelashes at him as you stepped even closer to him and sighed softly. “You’re all sticky, we need to get you out of these clothes.”

“Wha-what?!” This was so bad, your parents were going to kill him, he still didn’t stop you when you started to peel his shirt over his head, just swallowing thickly and raising his arms to help you out while he mumbled stupidly. “I spilled my slurpee.”

“Oh no.” So, so bad, but your fingers felt so nice trailing over his skin before you started to undo his jeans. “And it soaked through, let’s get you in the shower.”

“Okay.” He was in shock, that was it, he just let you pull him after you as you turned on the water. “Together?”

“Mmhm.” God, now you were wet and lathering up your hands and maybe he was dead? Maybe he had slipped when he ran into the bathroom and cracked his skull open and he was dead. He couldn’t decide if he was in heaven or hell though. “We’ll save water.”

“That’s good.” Your hands were on him and he decided it was heaven. “Responsible.”

“It sure is, we’ll get so much cleaner too, help each other get to those hard to reach places.” Fuck, you were getting lower and he was pretty sure he was about to bust like a virgin. “Mmm, you’re so big, Jakey, you want me to help?”

“Yes. Oh fuck.” He groaned when you wrapped your soapy hands around his achingly hard dick and started stroking, choking your grip under his tip and stepping closer so you could rub your nose over his throat. “God, that feels good.”

“Good, I just want you to feel good, Jakey.” You whined as you nibbled at his jaw, looking at him with big pleading eyes that he wanted to fall into. “Don’t you want me to feel good? Want to help me get those hard to reach spots clean?”

“If you need me to.” He only hesitated for a second before soaping up his own hands and sliding one down between your legs, groaning when he slipped a finger between your warm pussy lips and felt you throb for him. “I’ll get you so clean.”

“I know you will, oh Jake.” You tilted your head back and whimpered when he found your clit, stroking him faster as he petted your cunt while his other hand rested on your waist. “My tits need to get clean too, Jakey.”

He was pretty sure he was going to do whatever you wanted him to do from this moment forward, ducking to press his lips to yours and groan as the hand that wasn’t circling your swollen clit came up to gently cup your tit. You were so soft, and your kiss tasted so sweet, and he didn’t even care that his friends were going to give him all kinds of shit if they ever found out about this.

“Jake, oh! I want you inside me.” You nibbled on his bottom lip as you begged him, smiling when he practically sobbed into your mouth when he felt warm cream from your cunt gush all over his fingers. “Don’t you want it, Jakey? It’s so good, my pussy is so tight and soft and warm, I know you’ve thought about it, seen how hard you get when I do my stretches or cuddle with you. Please fuck my little pussy, I want it.”

And that broke him, a tortured growl leaving his lips before he turned you around and pressed your body against the cool tile of the shower. He just grabbed your ass cheeks and spread you open then shoved his cock inside you, tucking his face into your shoulder and groaning at how fucking tight you were before he started rutting into you wildly.

“God, yes! Oh god, fuck my little pussy, Jakey. Just like that, so fucking deep.” You whined when he wrapped a hand around your throat and tilted your head back so he could smash his lips to yours, gasping every time his hips smacked against your ass as your cunt clenched around him. “Tell me how good it feels, Jake. How you’re gonna fuck my tiny hungry pussy like it’s never been fucked. You gonna beat my pussy up, Jakey?”

“Shit, yeah. Gonna fuck this pussy so good.” He couldn’t even make himself care anymore, smacking your ass and growling when you yelped into his mouth. “Yeah, you fucking love that, don’t you? Pussy so fucking tight.”

“I do, I love it, want you to tear my pussy up, Jakey, ruin me.” You whined when he ducked to bite your neck, your eyes fluttering closed when he squeezed your throat tighter and slapped your ass as your whole body shook. “Right there, oh fuck, Jake. You’re fucking my pussy soooo good, gonna make me squirt all over that big dick. Make it your pussy.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, pumpkin.” If he wasn’t already dead you were going to kill him for sure. “It’s my fucking pussy, now make her come for me.”

You screamed when he drove into you harder and his balls slapped against your clit, sagging in his grip and squirting all over him while you spasmed violently through your orgasm. He couldn’t stop moving though, still thrusting his cock into your fluttering cunt mindlessly while you whined and arched your back so he could keep hitting that perfect spot even though you were on the verge of collapse.

“Come in your pussy, please, Jakey. Fill your fucking pussy, do it. Oh fuck, fill it, please…” you were babbling but he loved it, moving his lips back to yours and swallowing your noises greedily as he snarled.

“Gonna do it, keep my pussy full all the fucking time.” He felt the muscles of his core growing tight and growled into your mouth. “You want it, don’t you? Wanna walk around with my cum dribbling out of this pretty little cunt every damn day?”

“Yeah, I want it, Jake.” You could feel him starting to lose it and rose on your tiptoes as you whimpered. “Need it, need your cum. Give it to me.”

Jake practically lifted you off the ground when his orgasm ripped through his body, hooking your knee over his elbow so he could hold you open as his hips jerked against your ass while he pumped you full of his thick, warm cum. You mewled and keened as your pussy milked him dry, letting him bounce you on his cock and bite your lips as he emptied himself into you.

“Jesus fuck, pumpkin.” He kept cradling you in his arms even after he was finished, rubbing his nose against yours and breathing heavily as he let the warm water wash over the two of you. “I really am a fucking idiot.”

“Just a little.” You grinned and bit your lip as you gazed at him, sighing when he slid out of you as he held you close. “But it’s okay, I like himbos. Why don’t we finish up and then I’ll suck your dick while you play CoD.”

[urmindisastreamofcolors]

Brotherly Love: Greta Van Fleet Blurb

A/n: @gustingirl your incorrect quotes give me life

Warnings: cursing, brotherly threats (if you have a brother, you know exactly what I mean) and fist fighting

Taglist: @joshyswife

“Due to personal reasons, I will be going off the fucking rails,” Jake said, face bright red as he looked at the guitar that laid on the ground with its neck separated from its body. He slowly looked at Josh and Sam who been wrestling resulting in his beloved Les Paul getting broken. It really had been an accident, but Jake didn’t care whatsoever. The only other time Jake had ever been this mad was when Josh and Jake had swapped places in middle school and the girl Jake liked ended up kissing Josh. 

“Jakey, it was an accident,” Sam tried to reason as he slowly backed away with his hands in front of him. Sam didn’t use Jake’s childhood nickname often, but when he did, he knew it was because he had fucked up. 

Josh opted to stay quiet for once as he came to terms with the fact he was a walking dead man and began inching his way to the door as his twin’s chest heaved. You and Danny could only watch as the events unfolded. Your intervention wouldn’t help and you knew it. 

The stare down continued as Josh and Sam tried to keep distance between them and their irate bother, but all hell broke lose when Jake lunged for with a growl them causing them both to scream and take off. You and Danny jumped up, following after the three brothers to see what would happen. You didn’t want Jake to actually kill one of them. 

“He’s gone fucking feral,” you exclaimed as you and Danny shared a look that could only be described as panic.

“You fuckers broke my fucking guitar! I’m going to kill you,” Jake roared over his brothers screams for mercy. 

“Holy shit! Holy shit! I’m going to die,” Josh screamed in terror as he ran as fast as he could with Sam right on his heels. 

“Oh my God, Josh! He’s gonna actually kill us this time,” Sam said frantically as they burst through the doors leading outside the house you and Jake shared. 

“Okay, he can’t chase both of us, so...,” Josh trailed off as he considered various escape routes. 

“I go left,” Sam offered as he tilted his head that direction. 

“Good idea! I go right. Oh and if he breaks your neck, it was nice being your brother,” Josh said quickly as the two split paths to try and hide from their very angry brother who was smart enough to watch them from a window before bursting through the front door in pursuit. Josh would be harder to find, so Jake burst out the door and went left, stomping across the front yard barefoot. You and Danny stood on the front porch and watched as Jake literally stalked his prey.

“This is gonna end so bad,” you said with a shake of your head.

“Yeah,” Danny agreed,”It’s all over but the crying. I’m gonna go ahead and find the first aid kit and extra ice packs.”

You followed Danny back into the house to locate all the medical supplies you had on hand, knowing you would absolutely need it.

Jake was oblivious to everything else around him as he walked quickly to the back yard before setting sights on the small shed he had built for your gardening supplies. It was really the only place to hide and Jake’s suspicions were confirmed when he ripped the doors open and found Sam hiding behind a tool chest.

“Jake! Please, I’m sorry,” Sam pleaded as he inched further against the wall, but Jake grabbed him by his skinny wrist and dragged him behind him kicking and screaming. Jake had always been the strongest of the three and he had no issues yanking Sam up and pummeling him for a couple minutes before dragging him in the living room and throwing him to the carpet.

“You had better be here when I get back,” Jake said simply as walked into the kitchen and started his hunt for Josh.

Danny helped Sam up and led him to a kitchen chair where you started to wipe the blood from his nose off his face with a wet washcloth.

“I deserved that,” Sam said simply as he blinked the tears away and let you continue to doctor him.

“Jake did tell you two to stop wrestling around his guitars and you two didn’t listen,” you offered with a shrug of your shoulders.

“Danny, we probably are gonna have to pull him off of Josh. He only socked me a couple times, but we both know Josh will actually fight back,” Sam said as he stood up and Danny nodded his head. You rolled your eyes when you realized they were right and followed after them.

Jake had a few ideas of where his twin could be and took the stairs two at a time up to the master bedroom. With calculated movements, his eyes scanned the room as he tried to think like Josh. When his gaze landed on the wooden closet doors, Jake knew he had found his hiding spot and much like with his little brother, wrenched open the doors and grabbed Josh by his curly hair to yank him out from behind the clothes. 

“No! Jake! Fucking let me go, you prick! I’ll buy you a new one or-or-or -”

Josh’s sentence was cutoff by Jake’s knuckles meeting his stomach and the breath was knocked out of his lungs. Josh tried to wrap his arms around his twins torso to gain any advantage in the fight, but he had met his match. After a good five or six minutes of beating Josh’s ass, Jake finally got off his brother and turned to stomp back down the stairs, but jumped slightly seeing the rest of you watching. 

Jake simply huffed and crossed his arms showing that he didn’t regret kicking anyone’s ass while Josh groaned on the floor. Even from the doorway, you could see the bruise forming on Josh’s cheekbone.

“Feel better, babe” you asked with your eyebrows raised at the unruliness of brothers, especially the Kiszka’s. Jake nodded tersely in response as he made eye contact with Sam who hid behind you and Danny to keep himself safe. 

“Yeah. I deserved that,” Josh finally wheezed out while he started pushing himself to a standing position. Jake grabbed him by his forearm to help him stand. 

“I had better have a new guitar exactly like that one by the end of the week or the next one I record a song with I’ll make out of your fucking bones,” Jake said with smile that didn’t match his tone before making his way back downstairs to actually look at the damage done. 

[tonesplash]

In The Drawer (18+)

Could I request something? If you want to write my request, that is! I would love some more Jacob content because smeyer did him so dirty. My request: Jacob reacting to his shy lady love telling him that she wants him to restrain her during sex, with her being kind of embarrassed about it. Aaa, if this makes you uncomfy or you don’t want to write it, pls yeet this ask into the sun. I love you either way!

pairing: Jacob Black x Reader

warnings: swearing, and mild smut

(a/n): have fun yall

You'd met while out on a summer La Push trip with some of your school friends, Jacob spotting you from a few hundred yards down the beach and managing to score your phone number between your nervous rants and stutters.

Somehow, that first approach, with you sweaty from the sun and fully exposed in your swimsuit, seemed way less daunting than now. Even now, fully aware of the whole werewolf situation and his endless devotion and unwavering compulsion to do anything you needed him to, didn't make asking this any easier.

He absolutely knows something is up; you can feel his gaze burning into the side of your cheek while you fail to avoid it subtly, your entire face glowing since the thought first entered your mind the night before when he'd briefly held both of your wrists in one beefy hand in between fits of passion.

Lucky for you, today was a busy one on the res'. There was some big powwow coming up, so all hands were on deck, filling every room of Emily's house and spilling out into the front yard.

Jacob still manages to catch your eye in the hustle and bustle for a brief moment with a clear unspoken promise that whatever was on your mind was going to be out in the open by the end of the night.

You stay after to help clean up for as long as possible before even Emily nearly chases you out the door for some alone time with Sam. You guess you can't blame her.

When you get in the house, Jacob is waiting for you in the living room, having almost paced the rug to threads. You trade a bit of your trepidation for remorse. You hadn't meant to make him anxious too.

"Hey, Jake." You awkwardly try to break the tension as you leave your shoes by the door.

"(Y/n) where the hell have you been? Do you know how worried I was, especially with how squirrely you've been all day?" Jacob's temper strains his voice a bit, but you can see the concern smoldering in his dark eyes. He steps closer to bring you in for a hug, and you move to reciprocate, but he only holds you for a moment before pulling back, his hands coming up to cradle your arms.

"I didn't... hurt you or anything, did I?" His eyes soften as he holds you steadily. You are quick to shake your head to quell his worries.

"No, no, of course not."

"Well then, what is it?" Jacob draws his hands to cup your cheeks and forces you to look at him. "You haven't acted this weird since the time Seth caught us-"

"I know what Seth caught us doing! Don't remind me!" Your hands come up to frame his, and you close your eyes as if bracing for impact.

"Can we just... talk about this in the bedroom?" You open your eyes to test his reaction, only to find him grinning down at you.

"Oooh, okay, so you wanna get saucy? You could've just said so hon-" You clap one of your hands over his mouth before he can mortify you any more.

"Please start walking before I have to kill you."

You follow Jacob into your shared bedroom. He plops his full weight on the edge of the bed while you remain standing, shifting your weight anxiously.

"What could you possibly be thinking about that's got you this riled up?"

"Just... before I say anything. You have to promise me you won't laugh."

"This has got to be good." Jacob leans back on his palms and observes you.

"I'm serious, Jake!" You pout for a moment before steeling yourself and crossing your arms. "Werewolf swear me."

This time he can't hold in his laugh. "You can't say werewolf swear and expect me not to at least chuckle."

"Did Paul lie to me again?" This night could not be any more embarrassing for you.

"Yup. That's not even a real thing. And if it were, which it isn't, it wouldn't even apply to you."

"Please, Jakey." Saying it out loud physically hurts, but the nickname immediately schools his face, and he sits up to take this seriously.

"What's going on with you? You know you can tell me." He gently takes your hands and brings them close to his chest, and the warmth of him grounds you enough to get the words out. You fiddle with this collar for a second while you carefully consider what you're going to say.

"I want you to....tiemeup." You rush the last part out, hoping that he'll catch your drift.

"What? I didn't catch that like, at all."

"I want you, to...y'know." You make vaguely suggestive gestures with your hands.

"I already do that. Like, a lot." He's still not getting it. And he isn't going to unless you nut up and say it out loud. You cover your face for a moment before he pulls them away, and you can't tell if he's messing with you again.

"I WANT YOU TO TIE ME UP AND FUCK ME! GOD!"

The immediate silence is somehow deafening. He releases your wrists, and you may live with your hands seared to your face forever with how hot your face is right now, you just know it. Your palms and your cheeks have become one, and your face will never see the sun again.

"Y/n."

Archaeologists may finally get a glimpse of who you once were years and years from now, when your flesh rots into nothing and the delicate bones of your phalanges blow off in the wind. But until then, your mortification will remain.

"Y/n, babe, it's okay." You turn your back to face him as if that will make him forget what you just said.

"No, it's not. I want to crawl into a hole and die."

"Hey, hey, hey! We don't want any of that." Jacob makes you face him and pries your hands away from your face with a ridiculous ease.

"There's my girl." He releases of your arms to pull you in by your waist, and he's smiling at you. Why is he smiling at you like you hung the stars when you just confessed to being a sex fiend.

"I thought you were gonna say something actually crazy, like that you were gonna stab me but like, sensually."

Your giggle is muffled into his shoulder.

"Not that I'd be totally opposed to it but, it's still a pretty big jump-"

You're full-on cackling now, and he laughs with you, pulling you to his chest and rolling back onto the bed until you're breathless and beneath him.

"Would you really let me do that?" Jacob isn't looking directly at you, but the stretch of your jaw as he caresses it. "Tie you up and have my way with you?" he chuckles a bit as he says it, but you can tell by the hardness pressing into your front that he isn't joking.

...

You couldn't say how or when you found yourself like this, wrists tied and held together behind you while your werewolf boyfriend railed you from behind.

You can do nothing but moan brokenly into the drool-soaked pillow below you, and Jacob isn't faring much better. You can hear his shaky pants and grunts with the effort and dizzying pleasure of your tight cunt.

His skin is dripping with exertion, making him almost glow in the low light of your bedside lamp, and you can't seem to look away. He's breathtaking in every way.

When he catches your dreamy one-eyed stare, he bows further over your back, still thrusting, still holding your bound wrists steady, his voice is a honeyed growl as he continues poinding into you, "This what you wanted, huh?"

It feels like you're being split apart; like with him inside like this, there is no room for your lungs to expand and words to come out. You must have let out some pathetic noise because he barks a short laugh against your temple before kissing it and burying his face in your hair.

Maybe the afterglow would be a better time to bring up the cuffs in the drawer.

[dumbasscorn]

Exothermic - chapter sixteen

Amalthea vs the Wolves Den

"I'm sorry-- the fucking what? Did you say vampire? Vampire girl? Bella, what the fuck do you be doing around here that people call you that? Vampire girl!"

previous chapter

1,298 words

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The car was filled with a somber silence, drizzles of rain splattered onto the windshield only to be wiped away.

Amalthea tore her eyes away from the racing drops of rain, "So, are we just not gonna talk about the dudes who got a bit mad, turned into giant ass wolves, and almost caused my cousin to die?"

Bella nudged her cousin on the elbow, signaling for the girl to shut her mouth. Thea whispered under her breath to the brunette, "No, I'm serious. The fuck happened to normal fist fighting!" The only reply she got was another nudge and silence.

Another minute passed before Amalthea opened her mouth yet again, "Bella I know we almost, you know, passed away- but we got to go back to Uncle Charlie's if I got to do Uley's part. Haven't even started on mine, was kinda hoping I could bribe him into doing it." Bella, skin still quite pale, pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

Embry and Jared sniggered as the girl muttered, thinking the wolves couldn't possibly listen in.

Embry pulled Bella's truck toward a tiny, weathered house. From the back, Jared jumped out and opened the passenger door. Both girls stayed unbudgingly still. Amalthea fearing how vulnerable not having the protection of the vehicle made the both of them, and Bella fearing for Jacob's fate.

Embry turned toward Jared, "Pay up. She didn't puke." Annoyed, the boy handed the other five bucks. "Told you she was tough! She runs with bloodsuckers."

'Bella runs with mosquitoes? The hell she doin' that for?' Amalthea thought, apprehensively looking at her worried cousin from the side of her eyes.

"Wait-- we should go back, make sure that Jacob's okay."

Jared cut in on her worries, "I hope Paul gets some teeth in him. Serves him right."

Thea had the decency to look affronted as Bella snapped her head toward the boy with squinted eyes.

"No way. Jake's a natural. Did you see the way he phased on the fly? Five bucks Paul doesn't touch him." Embry spoke, easing Bella's worries. Jared retorted back with agreeance.

The shape shifters noticed the girls hadn't moved at all, "Come on in. We won't bite." Embry spoke, grinning at the two.

Jared quipped back, "Speak for yourself."

Bella gently shoved Amalthea out, who was very much still hesitant on leaving her spot. Warily, the girls climbed out of the car and joined the waiting boys.

Embry stopped the Swan pair, "Oh, hey, about Emily - Sam's fiancé- try not to stare. Bugs Sam."

Responses of "Why would I stare--" and "Whatever man," were cut off as the shape shifters entered the house.

Hesitantly, Bella entered behind Jared and Embry, Amalthea following timidly behind her, trying to perfect her brave face. A woman was seen standing at a counter, taking freshly made muffins out of the tin. Long, black hair draped over the side of her face, "You guys hungry? Like I have to ask...."

The young woman looked toward the quartet, showcasing the three scars running from her hairline down to her chin. Quickly glancing at the lines that pulled down the woman's eye and twisted the corner of her mouth, Amalthea subtly admired the deep scars.

'Guess it's time to add facial scars to the list of things I find hot!' Thea silently thought, the voice in her mind sighing.

Amalthea's attention was broken from her thoughts when the woman spoke again, "who's this?" questioning Jared and Embry, who were beelining for the warm muffins.

Jared went for a muffin, "Bella Swan and her cousin. Who else?"

"Jesus fuck, I have a name!" Thea muttered, looking to the beautiful woman in front of her, "The cousin's name is Amalthea Swan."

A loud bang was heard from the small back yard of the house, followed by a yelp of pain. Emily pretended like the sound wasn't heard, keeping her attention on Bella.

"So you're the vampire girl."

"I'm sorry-- the fucking what? Did you say vampire? Vampire girl? Bella, what the fuck do you be doing around here that people call you that? Vampire girl!" Amalthea was absolutely appalled, confusion masquerading her fear. Both women ignored the girl and her anxious rambling.

'If shape-shifting, big ass wolves exist, who's to say vampires can't?' Thea suddenly felt a bit light headed at the idea, missing Bella's response to the woman.

"Werewolves? I'm just engaged to one. But these animals--" Emily slapped Embry's hand as she spoke, "Save some for your brothers."

It was as if the gravity of the situation finally set in. Amalthea paled and stood pin straight, with her back to the wall next to the entrance. Anxiety of all the unknown caused for her to close up. As Thea was struggling to stop trembling, Bella cautiously toed toward the counter, eyes peeled on the door for any sight of Jacob.

Thea felt buzzing in her ears, mind beginning to muddle with unpleasant thoughts and eyes never straying from her dirty shoes. She just wanted to go back to Charlie's. None of this would be happening if they just stayed at Charlie's. Breaths began to feel harder to catch, as if she just ran a mile. A weight felt like it resided in her chest and would never move again. She'd never have been in this situation- which Bella is dealing with shockingly well, may she add!- if she didn't try to see Uley. Thea wondered if he knew that his brother was a giant wolf in his spare time.

The deep, gruff voice that belonged to Sam Uley caused for her to jump in shock, heart stopping quickly just before picking back up its rapid pace again.

The man spoke from the door way, "Because there are bad things here." He walked toward Emily, "And they're getting worse."

'Whatever the fuck that means!' Thea took to cracking her knuckles, trying to calm herself down before having an actual panic attack, using techniques the guidance counseling sessions that she was forced to attend had taught her. People around the girl conversing worked as white noise to the loud thoughts that refused to leave her brain. The panic was incessant and  embarrassing, considering how unaffected Bella seemed to be.

Thea looked back up from the floor when two more people walked into the small house, laughing and jabbing at one another. She watched as her cousin took a breath of relief, Jared and Embry looking over the boys in search of injury. A scar was healing on Paul's arm, leading to Jared rolling his eyes.

Amalthea watched as Bella walked toward Jacob, eyes widening in fear that Bella might leave her alone in a house where every single person was a stranger. Well, that was until a tall - and seemingly buffer than before - teen walked in from the backyard.

Hearing a dramatic intake of breath, all eyes turned to the teenager who arrived. His eyes were trained on the small, very pale girl hiding against a wall.

"Oh my god, Mal! My bestie, I've missed you! Where have you been-- wait no where have I been. I was gonna break and tell you everything anyway," a hand slapped Trevor Uley's head, though not deterring him from prancing toward the girl, "The first time you called I almost cried. Honest! Did you go to Jackson's game? Shit, I hope so." The boy took to whispering, knowing the shifters could still hear him, "Stalker wouldn't let me go." He rolled his eyes, opening his arms for Thea to give him a hug.

Little did Trevor know at the moment, his presence felt like a saving grace to the girl. Thea knew he wouldn't ditch on her like Bella would. Apparently, he missed her too much to do so.

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

Longer chapter today! Nearly 1,300 words!

How's your weekend going so far? I really am not looking forward to school again on monday, it is a STRUGGLE

The support for the series lately is so cool and it makes me smile, thank you for reading

Trevor!!!! How do you think Thea is going to react?

tag list: @ivettt @jjpogueprincess @demigodslut @sftpjmn

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please send me an ask or message me! Do the same if you’d like to be removed. :) 

master list

[fixeddawn]

Boy do I love this blog so, so much.

Was there a New Moon in the AU? Or did Bella put a stop to that nonsense immediately.

(Spoilers for the story Clotho (The Moirai Saga) ahead, beware!)

Edward: "Okay so what had happened was-"

-Bella and Alice appear, shoving him out of the way with a squeak-

Alice: "GURL YOU KNOW HE'S STILL AN IDIOT."

Bella: "I- ugh, I tore him a new asshole when he told me he didn't actually love me, and he got me FUCKED up, but he still left. It was rough, especially when my powers started acting up and I started having panic attacks and meltdowns. The wolf pack over here is a bunch of different families, all somewhat Irish, they're descendants of the people of Ossory. Jakes grand-dad immigrated here in the 60's. Actually, OI, JACOB-"

-Jacob shoves into the room, but knocks his head on the doorframe on the way in.-

Jake: "FUCK. Finally man, the Boyz can talk!

Bella: "Eagan (Embry) Got you saying that now too, huh?"

Jake: "Ye, it's funnier. Anyway, shit happened WAY different than in the original plot line. Bella and I still got to be friends, and she hung out with my fam a lot, we have massive bonfires cause my dads the youngest of eight kids.

I helped her find her own place actually! My auntie had a 2 bedroom 2 bath house for rent cheap and she took it on the promise of painting it and shit. Of course then she got mixed up in all of our chaos, especially with the pub my dad runs in town, we got the Blacks, and the O'Clearys and the Udys, three old bloodlines. Bella actually found out about the pack by accident, I uh...I had a massive crush on her and she wasn't ready and stuff got tense and I just...poof, y'know?"

Bella: -makes exploding hand gesture- "Poof."

Jake: "Paul didn't like it at first but she became a member of the pack, we don't really imprint like...romantically, it's super rare, but mostly we imprint familial-y, Bella kept helping Emily cook and clean up and deal with a bunch of rowdy guys. (we got put to work too, don't worry) And she just meshed. She also became our field medic. It got so bad that if we weren't at The Farm, we were probably sprawled out on Bella's living room couch and floor, passed out.

Bella: "It was like snow white and the 7 goofy werewolves, it was great. Leah disliked me at first, but she still went through that thing with Sam, so she was struggling. We actually bonded over the whole "Fuck having a supernatural Ex" thing. Girls gotta support each other, you know? She and Emily also made up with a little time. When I was having my nightmares, facing all the shit that was going down alone and helpless, I told her about them. She's a professional kickboxer! She's fucking badass!! I begged her to train me and kept shoving cash at her until she let me hire her. I was USELESS at first, but she ran me hard, and eventually I could even hold my own in a fight against (human) Seth! All the while, Jake here was finding it hard to keep it in his pants, but he was really my rock, I tried to do everything I could to support him through his change and the aftermath, but it...well. You know who I married. -she cringes, Jake puts an arm around her shoulder for a rough squeeze and a small smile, obviously forgiving-

Jake: My crush was hard man, it still is low-key, (J: 👀 B: 😑) but...well, her panic attacks were still coming. And one night we were dancing, and I...well..."

Bella: "We kissed, I was so desperate to move on, feel something else, but I panicked. It wasn't right."

Jake: "She bolted from the party, ran into the woods, I remember screaming, and then this awful earsplitting sound, and a shockwave.

Bella: "....I kinda, blew down like 30 square feet of the forest around me. Thats when I realized all the popping lightbulbs and shaking surfaces weren't earthquakes...but, well, me. It was the worst panic attack I've ever had. So now, my vampire Bf dumped me, my best friend is a werewolf, and I can fuck shit up with my mind on accident when I'm highly emotional. Queue complete mental breakdown."

Jake: "...Then the redhead showed up."

Bella: "Victoria...she killed my coworker, my friend, horribly, gave him the same injuries James did to send the message. We realized she would start going after the people I was close to if she couldn't get to me. I pretty much hunkered down at The Farm after that, the pack did rounds and tried to protect so much land...I was terrified someone was going to get hurt. When she attacked The Farm, we were blindsided. She caught Seth around his chest and almost crushed him. I was terrified, I managed to use one of my "Bubbles" to blow her away from both of us so I could get him to safety and reset his ribs."

Alice: "And all 𝘐 saw was victoria closing in on Bella from above for a third of a second, when she let out her bubble, so, ofc, I thought she was dead and immediately bolted back to Pullman. Everyone else came too, Carlisle, Esme, Emmett, Jasper... We were so shocked Victoria went after her and 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘶𝘴.

"We found out, when we arrived at her apartment and she was still alive and being guarded by werewolves, that it was because my dumbass brother never gave her my goodbye letter, and lied to both sides about his intentions for what happened that day in the woods. He told the family he was going to tell her the truth, that he was going to take himself away from the situation and see if she couldn't move forward, if she couldn't have a human life. Not that he was going to lie to her that he "found out it was infatuation and not love" or whatever the fuck the Drama-King decided made sense. -steps hard on Edward, he squeaks mournfully-

"Emmett and Jazz were about ready to hunt him down for not giving her a way to contact the family, Esme was devastated that Bella thought we'd just abandoned her, Rose was...well, rose, and Carlisle and I were dissapointed, (mine was more on the murder side tho.)

Bella: "We really didn't think it could get much worse, but Edward's creative."

Alice: "Rose calls him to tell him Vicky killed Bella, because EMMETT NEVER FUCKING CALLED HER. Edward flies into a fucking rage tantrum and ofc, goes to italy. When I told her what was happening, Bella was 𝘱𝘪𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥, like, walls shaking, lightbulbs popping pissed, and tbh I kinda wanted to see her kick his twink ass."

Bella: "...The emotions were wild. Rage, betrayal, relief, fear, it was such a jumble. When we got there, saved him, and got passed the volturi, we stayed overnight- well, over𝘥𝘢𝘺 in one of the dorm room things. I was still in my funeral dress and nylons and had lost my shoes, so they let me shower and sleep. First however, I laid into Ed. I wasn't going to carry the weight of "if I accidentally die, I'm gonna be the fuckin reason Edward is taken from his family too." Especially not as a Human. I informed him he was going to come home, apologize, take his lumps, and cope. He was a grown ass man and he needed to act like one and clean up the mess he made."

Edward, from the floor, muffled: "Safe to say, I learned my lesson. My self flagellation and pity-party was immature at best, destructive at worst. I apologized to Bella and my family, and did not yet ask for forgiveness, just for the opportunity to prove that I 𝘩𝘢𝘥 learned something from all of this."

Bella: "...We didn't get back together at first. I couldn't trust him, and he obviously did not trust me or my feelings. But I still loved him. When he was there for me and recognized/supported my autonomy, over a little bit of time I was able to trust him again. I think we both grew a LOT during the experience, and while it sucked the whole time, it was also a catalyst for better things to come. Jake was upset, at first, but we had a long and hard talk. Honestly about what I was able to give to a friendship and if it would be enough for him. He eventually decided, that it was. We still bro's. He even made friends with Edward."

Jake: -Grins and steps on Edwards head. Edward growls and rolls over to drag him to the ground. The boys play-wrestle in the background, though it looks less playful than others. Growling, gnashing, and the word 'fuck' is heard often from the fray.-

Alice: "Idiots."

Bella: "The Cullens and the wolves actually bonded as Esme and Sam strategized about the newborn war. We're not "natural enemies" after all, just smelly to alert the other we're in the area. So Jake and the pack and I are still close as ever. "

"Sorry if this was long winded, but it deserved an explanation! I'm gonna go break the boys up now, thanks for your question!"

[golbrocklovely]

i really don't understand why people associate themselves with the paul brothers because i am still not over the dead body thing and literally last month a girl came out with allegations against jake. these two are not good people at all

i watched a video from d'angelo wallace about them and d'angelo thought that logan was a better person now. but even if that was the case, and i do believe that both of them can be redeemed, i just can't forgive him for what he did.

as someone who has been suicidal since she was 13, the idea of some asshole filming my body for fucking youtube content makes my blood boil. idk if he believes in ghosts, but he would after doing that to me.

also, another youtuber said it best, but some things just can't be forgiven. regardless of how much he has improved, how could he have ever thought filming a dead body was an okay thing to do?? like he and i are pretty close in age and i've never thought to do that, not even once, not even as a joke. like, i do believe he could be redeemed but not now. it's gonna take decades. also, i'm totally fine to die on this hill mad at him.

and then jake is just a whole other basket of terrible.

[jaspers-levis]

Episode Six

Episode six: I’m not that kind of person

You had a lot to think about as you walked home from Emily’s that morning. It would take a long time before you were ready for another relationship, but it wouldn’t hurt to accept Emily’s offer of friendship with their little group. Which was of course, made all the more tempting by Paul’s presence. Even though you were still nervous of him and his temper.

Thankfully the cafe was empty by the time you returned, and you were able to grab a second cup of coffee and leave without too much incident. You were exhausted by your long night and panic attack; once you got home you showered quickly and fell back into bed for a few more hours of sleep. Luckily you slept without dreams and woke in the early afternoon, feeling far better than you had before. You decided to get some work down on a piece for an online journal, settling down on the covered porch with your laptop and headphones in.

You worked for a solid few hours until the light began to fade behind the trees, signalling that it was time to at least move inside, possibly find some food too. You’d just gathered up your computer when you looked up and noticed a flicker of movement amongst the tree trunks circling your yard. You held still, squinting in an attempt to discern what it was when suddenly it bounded forward into the circle of light from the porch.

Your jaw dropped at the sight of the enormous wolf in front of you-- Jesus, it must be the size of a small truck! You froze, uncertain of what to do in this situation. Should you run inside? Should you run away? Wouldn’t it catch you either way? Did wolves eat people or was that bears? Oh God this is NOT how you wanted to die--

The wolf dropped what it was carrying onto the ground and shook its lovely grey coat and in between breaths there was a strange sort of blurring of its figure and… Paul was kneeling in your yard, yanking on the sweatpants the wolf had dropped before standing and tugging his shirt on. “Hey Y/N,” he grinned awkwardly before you sat down hard on the porch.

You had never been close to passing out in your life but this felt awfully similar. Your vision swam as Paul stepped onto your porch, his grin replaced by concern as he knelt next to you, his voice sounding as if was coming from underwater. “Y/N? Are you okay? I’m so sorry… Y/N?” His strong hands supported you as you sat there swaying, your entire world spinning. It took a few moments before you felt stable enough to respond.

“Paul… what the actual red and silver hell was that?!” you squeaked, shaking from the adrenaline rush still flooding your veins. “You-- you-- you were a WOLF. An actual fucking wolf. What the hell?!”

Paul laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Uh, yeah… I wasn’t sure how to break it to you…”

“You weren’t sure how to ‘BREAK IT TO ME’” you shouted, angry with relief that you were not about to die. “How about maybe explain first and THEN transform into a damn wolf?! I thought I was gonna die!”

“Y/N, you were far from dying. Wolves don’t normally go after people for one, and two, it was me,” Paul rolled his eyes, sitting back on his heels.

“Well I didn’t KNOW THAT.”

“Maybe let me explain and you’ll feel better!”

“Yes, I’m sure that will make me feel ever so much better, after my new friend just fucking turned from a wolf the size of a Quickie Mart into a human being in front of my damn house.”

“Would you just listen?! I SAID I was SORRY,” Paul finally snapped, his temper breaking through. His hands were shaking on his thighs and instinctively you moved away, suddenly cold with the knowledge that Paul was so much larger than you were, and how much faster he was. 

He saw your movement and winced, then slowly closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, visibly calming down. “I am so, so sorry,” he exhaled, tucking his now still hands behind his back. He opened his eyes and they were dark with sorrow. “For now, and for back at Emily’s.”

Your heart was still slamming against your chest as he continued. “They told me about… your past. I didn’t know, or else I wouldn’t have fought Jake in front of you. I’m so sorry that I scared you,” he took a chance and reached out to gently caress your shoulder. “I promise, as much as that promise might mean to you, that I won’t ever lay a hand on you to hurt you. I might have a temper, but I’m not that kind of person.”

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: chapter 2 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none???

word count: 2.3k

a/n: bold is texts, any ***s refer to the footnote at the end of the chapter, this one is a shit ton of dialogue and texts, sorry bout it

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“Drink some green juice, Y/N,” Isabelle said, handing you a to go cup from Jamba Juice. Isabelle never drank enough to have a bad hangover, so when you all slept in on Sunday, she went out to get hangover cures. After two nights of parties, it was insane that she was still completely fine. 

You had a queen size inflatable mattress on your floor, so the four of you were able to sleep as comfortably as possible in a not-so-large dorm room. You complained for a while at first, saying you should have just gotten an apartment, but it was too late. Next year. 

“Y’all wanna go to starbs and study?” Emily asked. Ally groaned, putting her head under her pillow. 

“No. I gotta shower and then eventually go to a theater thing.” She responded, slightly muffled. 

“I am also going to shower, and then try to do some of my justice and law readings and then I have to go tutor that Thomas kid.” “Ooooo please text updates!” “Emily, it is literally like tutoring anyone else, I really doubt he’s cute.” You responded. “Whatever,” she said with a smile. Your friends filed out and you took your time with a long shower.

When you got out, you realized it was already 2:30, and most of the day was gone. You put on some ripped black jeans and a shirt from urban outfitters, quickly did some makeup, threw on your sneakers and were out the door, headed to the library. 

“Y/N!” You heard the second you walked into the library. 

“Hi Kyle,” You said and smiled as he fell into step with you. 

“We missed you this weekend,” he said, referring to his fraternity, delta chi’s party. 

“Sorry, I was outvoted.” You said with a small smile. Kyle was a hottie, but incredibly bright. You befriended each other in a math class freshman year, he invited you to dchi parties, and you were now on the short list to be their sweetheart.*

“Well don’t get out voted next time! C’mon, if Jamie is sweetheart I’ll die, and if you don’t come to parties, we can’t elect you sweetheart.” Jamie had broken Kyle’s heart at the end of freshman year, and her, along with one other girl were also contending to be sweetheart. 

“Ugh you drive me insane.” You responded, rubbing your temples. 

“In the best way,” he said and kissed your forehead before walking to the back of the lib. 

You had reached the glass doors to the honor’s lab, basically a wing of the library where honors students studied and hung out in between classes, during meals, whenever. It had “Honors College” written across the doors in black painted letters. 

You pushed open the doors, saying hi to people as you walked towards an empty table. You took a seat facing the doors, so you could see anyone who didn’t belong. 

It was an honor system, no one would be penalized if they tried to sit in the honors lab without being apart of the honors college, but you would get a lot of incredibly nasty looks from some very smart kids. It only happened during fraternity pledge season, when frat boys were hazed and dared to do stupid shit, like have a sit-in in the honors lab.

There weren’t a ton of kids in the honors college, so you all formed sort of a little family. Everyone got along (for the most part), and helped out with difficult assignments. 

Pretty soon, you were encompassed in your law readings, not fully catching on why Fear v. Minnesota was so important. 

“So what’s a gorgeous girl like you doing in a dump like this?” You heard a british voice ask. You looked up to see a boy with brown eyes and slightly curly hair leaning on the table. Clearly attempting to put the moves on you. 

“Dump?” You asked. 

“You heard me, baby,” he said. 

“Well it is very clear that you are not a member of the honors college-”

“And you are?” He asked, a cocky smirk on his face. 

“I am, yes.” He became red. 

“I’m Y/N, I don’t care what your name is, but unless you have a reason to be here, I’d leave before Paul pummels the shit out of you.” You said. You nodded your head to the left, where Paul and two sophomores were standing, arms crossed, clearly incredibly upset that this outsider was here. 

“Wait, did you say your name was Y/N?” He said, looking back at you. 

“Yes…” 

“I’m Tom.” You looked confused. “Holland? You’re supposed to tutor me?” Your eyes widened with the realization. 

“Thomas,” you muttered. He laughed. 

“Darling, the only times I hear that are when a professor is calling on me, or a girl is yelling my name in bed.”

Ok, who the fuck was this kid? 

“I’m gonna move on from that sentence.” You said and gestured to the seat across from you. A text popped up on your phone, in the honors college junior’s group chat. 

hc* jnrs ⋛

Paul

Ok who the fuck let tom holland in here

Jessie

he’d need at least triple the amount of brain cells he has to just find the doors

You actively laughed out loud at that text and looked at jessie, who was now standing with Paul. Paul laughed as he waved to you, and Jessie just winked. 

“Something funny?” He asked as he pulled his laptop out. 

“Just a funny text. You can put that away and grab your notebooks, by the way.” You said as you texted back. 

You

gronk asked me to tutor him

what’s the big deal? you guys know him?

Lindsay

i’m sorry im home rn, did someone say tom holland? 

Paul

Y/N’s tutoring him so he came into hlab, didnt realize she was his tutor, and hit on her

Leila

LMAOOOOO

Jake

THOLLAND IN THE HLAB IM SHITTING MYSELF

Lindsay

he hit on Y/N? poor bastard doesnt know what hes in for

You

do you guys know something about this kid i dont? 

You finally looked up from your phone to see Tom sitting there, empty handed, staring at you. 

“Where’s your notebooks?” You ask. 

“Uhm, I don’t have any. I just use my laptop.” 

“Ok your homework tonight is going out and getting notebooks for all your classes.” 

“Really? You’re giving me homework?” You raised your eyebrows. 

“When I tutor kids,” he winced when you said kids, “I have some ground rules. You break a rule, I stop tutoring you. No second chances, no redos. Got it?” “Got it.” He said, holding back a smile. 

“Something funny?” “No, no, please, tell me about these rules. I must warn you, I have always been a rule breaker.” He winked and you simply rolled your eyes. 

“This isn’t a game, Holland.” You said. The smile left his face. “Rule one is you follow all the rules. Rule two, if you break a rule, we’re done, no exceptions. Rule three, if I give you homework, you do it. Rule four don’t be late. And finally, I am adding a rule five just for you.” You said, writing each rule down on a piece of paper which you handed to him. He laughed. 

“Problem?” You asked. 

“I’ve never had a woman…” 

“What? Reject you before?” He was obviously referring to rule five, which was do not hit on me ever again. 

“Listen, darling, I was just surprised is all. I didn’t expect someone so beautiful to be part of the nerd brigade.” 

“Do I need to add another rule about you not making fun of my friends?” 

“No, no, I apologize.” He said with that cocky grin still on his face. 

“Pull out your planner.” You said. 

“My what?”

“Right, you’re a brit. Pull out your diary.”

“Oh I don’t use one, sweetheart. Got this great thing up here,” he said, tapping his head. “Keeps everything sorted out.” 

“Well clearly that’s not true or you wouldn’t be missing assignments.” He shrugged. 

“I didn’t forget about them, just chose not to do them.” “So your story is that you’re choosing to fail your classes and risk expulsion?” He just shrugged again. 

You pulled out a notepad and started a list. 

Buy notebooks for every class

Download a planner (diary) app on your computer

Make a list of all assignments (including readings) due within the next week

“I’m going to need a copy of your schedule.” 

“You know, babe, usually we schedule the date after I ask you out.” 

“Look at you, five minutes in and you’ve already broken rule five.”

“You can’t honestly expect me to follow rule five when you’re this attractive.” You gave him a cold stare, and started packing up your stuff. 

“Wait, wait, Y/N, I’m sorry. I’ll try not to do it again.” You paused and raised your eyebrows dangerously at him. “Correction, I won’t do it again.”

“Good. Now I want a copy of your schedule and syllabi. What’s your schedule like tomorrow?”

“I have rehearsal until nine. After that I’m all yours.”

“I have a sorority event until nine, you can meet me here at nine fifteen.” 

“You’re in a sorority?”

“You’re surprised?” You asked. 

“Which one?”

“Delta Nu*.” 

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously. Why are you so surprised?” 

“That’s, like, the highest tier on campus.”

“Sororities aren’t a hierarchy, anyone who tells you different is fucking with you.” You said as you gathered your stuff. You didn’t have time for his anti-panhellenic bullshit.

“Hlab. Tomorrow. Nine. Don’t be late, and do your homework.” You said. “Oh, one more thing.” You handed him your phone, opening up a new contact. He raised his eyebrows, and you raised yours back, daring him to make a comment. He didn’t simply handed you his phone so you could enter your information. 

You walked straight out of the lib, leaving Tom in your wake. Kyle saw you leaving, gathered up his stuff and shouted “Y/N! Hey, wait up!” You paused, waiting for him to catch up. 

“Can I walk you home?” 

“You don’t have to do that, Ky.” 

“I want to. I was just about to leave anyway.” You smiled as you and Kyle left the library, headed across the quad towards the junior dorms.

It was a short walk before you reached your dorm, Kyle heading to Heart Hall directly next to your building. 

“See you tomorrow?” he asked. You smiled and waved. 

Once you were back in your room, you paused realizing you had nearly twenty missed texts. 

♡girly girls♡

Al

Y/N we need to know his last name so i can get the dirt on the right person 

Em

and Y/N i need to know RIGHT THIS SECOND if he was cute

Iz

guys shes still tutoring her, let her phone be and she’ll facetime us later and answer all your dumb questions

You replied, saying you were tired and you would meet them for lunch in the cafeteria in your building like usual. 

hc jnrs ⋛

Jake

How has Y/N not heard of him shes in a diff frat every weekend

Cassy

Jake please tell me i didnt just detect judgement in your jargon

Jake

Cassy please tell me you didnt just use jargon in a text message

Jessie

jake does make a good point im shocked Y/N doesnt know about him 

Leila

WHATEVS I NEED AN UPDATE

Is she still with him/???

Jessie

Yup but she looks like shes about to punch him

Paul 

If she doesnt, i will

Jessie

shush paul girl can take care of herself

ok looks like shes packing up 

Leila

Y/N!! i NEED an update

You 

i have not heard of him, no

whats his deal? besides being incredibly flirty and not reading my vibes, like, at all

Jessie

rumor has it he gave all the phi alpha’s chlamydia

Julia

as a proud phi alpha i just wanna drop in and say that he did fuck quite a few of us, but he gave none of us (and none of us have) chlamydia

Jessie

he def gave someone chlamydia tho

Paul

id believe it. hes a massive scumbag

Cassy

a HOT massive scumbag

Jake

-_-

Cassy

everyone in delt is hot

You

wait a sec, did you say hes in delt?!?!

max please confirm

Max

yeah hes in delt with me, so is that other brit that he came over here with us

Cassy

Harry!!!!!!!

Max

harrison** 

Y/N

wait harrison? i think he knows my friend emily

Max

well its not a huge campus, and emily does know everyone

Jessie

wait Y/N what was he like

You 

an asshole. im debating telling gronk i dont have time to tutor him

Julia

that wouldnt be very hc of you….

You

whatevs. Im finishing this near v minnesota reading then passing out. see you guys tomorrow

Jessie

KISSES!!!

Paul

you know jessie theres these awesome things call emojis

Cassy

paul do u ever stfu 

It wasn’t until you caught up with both group chats that you realized you still had unread messages. 

Tom Holland

is that your bf???

hes cute

didnt peg you for the monogomous type

hes in a frat right??

why arent u answering? too busy with ya boy 👀👀👀

You

do you bother all girls with annoying questions? not a cute look

Tom Holland

no such thing as a “not cute look” on me darling

you didn’t answer my question

It was at that point that you turned your alarms on, turned your phone on do not disturb, and plugged it in. Before long you were in bed, hoping for more sleep than you’ve gotten the past couple nights. 

*A sweetheart is a girl who is friends with all the boys in the fraternity, always goes to their parties, and acts kind of like a “mom”ish figure in a lot of their lives. Normally they’re a junior or senior and serve for one year. They’re essentially the female face of the frat. For a better definition click here.

*delta nu is not an actual sorority, i didnt want to alienate any orgs (i am a proud member of greek life if you couldnt tell) so i just used the fake one from legally blonde

*hc stands for honors college

[mittensmorgul]

The End

Yes, we have 5.04, the episode titled The End, with the whole end!verse, but every time this phrase pops up in the show since then, I think this is the first thought a lot of people have. And I think it’s... wildly misleading. I mean, since we haven’t actually had a return to this specific “end.” And I don’t think we ever will. As everyone will recall, the show did not actually end after 5.04.

So to that end (pffft), I wanted to cobble together a history of the phrase as it’s been used throughout canon. Just for my own reference purposes. Here’s the big ones, though:

5.22 Swan Song:

CHUCK types "THE END" and takes a drink.  CHUCK: No doubt – endings are hard. But then again... nothing ever really ends, does it? 

(spoiler alert: fuck you, Chuck)

11.22: We Happy Few:

AMARA: My brother will dim and fade away into nothing. (Outside, ROWENA staggers to her feet. The sunlight is no longer just rosy, tinting the sky purple.) AMARA: But not until he sees what comes next. Not until he watches this world, everything he created, everything he loves turn to ash. (Outside, ROWENA turns, lifting a hand to shield her eyes.) AMARA: Welcome to the end. (She disappears.)

(lol, bzzzt, wrong, try again)

13.23 Let The Good Times Roll:

CASTIEL (to Michael): How do we stop him? MICHAEL: You don't. After consuming the Nephilim's grace, Lucifer's juiced up. He's super-charged. He'll kill the boy, your brother. Hell, he could end the whole universe if he put his mind to it. And you thought I was bad. DEAN: No. No, you beat him. I saw you. MICHAEL: When he was weaker, and I was stronger. Believe me, I'd love to rip my brother apart. But now in this banged up meatsuit... not happening. This is the end, of everything.

(way to horrifically manipulate the situation!)

14.20 Moriah:

CHUCK: (angrily): Fine! That's the way you want it? Story's over. Welcome to  The End.

(cue things happening for another 20 episodes... he’s 20 episodes too soon)

and since there were *a LOT* of results:

yes each one of those open tabs is a reference page I’m pulling quotes from, and yes there are so many open tabs they’ve blurred together. one big drawback about watching a show that has apocalypses every now and again. i’m omitting references that aren’t directly about narrative ends, too (like casual “at the end of the day” references and the like). this is gonna be long so it’s going under a cut:

2.22 All Hell Breaks Loose: Part Two:

YED Oh, Jake. It's got to be you. I've been waiting for you for a very long time. You're my leader. You open that crypt, and you will have your army. JAKE You're talking about the end of the world. YED No, not the end— the beginning... a better world, where your family will be protected. More than that. They'll be royalty. Buddy boy, you have the chance to get in on the ground floor of a thrilling opportunity. Whaddya say? It's your call.

(spoiler alert: pffft... the whole “Demon Army” thing was always a sham, I think pulled ON Azazel by Lilith, even if that was only retconned in later in canon. but also, endings are beginnings, the spiral loops ever onward, and it’s laughable now eleventynine loops of the spiral down the way from this moment, isn’t it? Jake who? Azazel the fanatic who wasn’t even trustworthy enough to be let in on Lilith’s real plans? Incredible)

4.05 Monster Movie:

DEAN: You think "elegance" is really the word for what you did to Marissa, or Rick Deacon, or any of the others?! DRACULA: But of course. It is a monster movie, after all. DEAN: You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie? DRACULA: Ah, but this movie is mine. And in it, the monster wins. The monster gets the girl. And the hero, he’s... electrocuted. And tonight, Jonathan Harker, you will be my hero.

(spoiler alert: the monster does not win)

4.06 Yellow Fever:

Sam: So uh...so, what did you see? Near the end, I mean. Dean: Oh, besides a cop beating my ass? Sam: Seriously. Dean: Howler monkeys. Whole roomful of them. Those things creep the hell out of me. Sam: Right. Dean: No, just the usual stuff, Sammy. Nothing I can’t handle.

(spoiler alert: it was definitely not anything Dean could handle)

4.09 I Know What You Did Last Summer:

ANNA: Look... I get it. You think I'm nuts. If I were you, I'd think I was nuts. But it's all true. PSYCHOLOGIST: It's okay. You can tell me. I'm here to listen. ANNA: The end... is coming. The apocalypse. PSYCHOLOGIST: The apocalypse. Like in the Bible? ANNA: Kind of. I mean, same bottom line. This demon, Lilith, is trying to break the 66 seals to free Lucifer from Hell. Lucifer... Will bring the apocalypse. So... Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

(spoiler alert:... we know how this turned out)

4.15 Death Takes a Holiday:

DEAN: You know what I mean. We're talking the end of the world here, okay? No more tasseled leather pants, no more Ramones CDs, no more nothing.

(spoiler alert: Pamela’s cool with that since she’ll get an endless show at the Meadowlands in her personal heaven)

4.22 Lucifer Rising:

DEAN: But me and Sam, we can stop... (he cuts off, having an epiphany) You don't want to stop it, do you? ZACHARIAH: Nope. Never did. The end is nigh. The apocalypse is coming, kiddo, to a theater near you.

(spoiler alert... it bombed at the box office)

5.02: Good God, Y’all:

Dean: Listen, Chuckles, even if there is a God, he is either dead—and that's the generous theory— Castiel: He is out there, Dean. Dean: Or he's up and kicking and doesn't give a rat's ass about any of us. I mean, look around you, man. The world is in the toilet. We are literally at the end of days here, and he's off somewhere drinking booze out of a coconut. All right?

(spoiler alert: i mean he really wasn’t far off the mark was he...)

5.03 Free To Be You And Me:

REPORTER: —the town of Tully? tonight, John. Locals say that what started as a torrential hailstorm late this afternoon suddenly turned to massive lightning strikes that triggered the fires now consuming more than twenty acres here along the Route 17 corridor. County officials are advising all Tully residents to prepare for what could become mandatory evacuations. The BARTENDER shuts the TV off. BARTENDER: Damn. Is it me or does it seem like it's the end of the world? SAM looks away.

(spoiler alert: that was an observant bartender)

5.07 The Curious Case of Dean Winchester:

A WOMAN, MRS. XAVIER, is reading the Weekly World News, headline: "LEADING PSYCHICS AGREE: THE APOCALYPSE IS HERE! Experts confirm the end is upon us!" She chuckles. The door opens.

(spoiler alert: that time the Weekly World News was actually right)

5.08 Changing Channels:

Dean: Hey there, Sam. What's happening? Sam: Oh, nothing. Um. Just the end of the world.

(spoiler alert: lol)

5.09 The Real Ghostbusters:

CHUCK: Ok, Ok, just..okay, it's okay. so, next question. (hands shoot up) Yeah, you. FAN: Yeah, at the end of the last book, Dean goes to hell. So, what happens next?

(spoiler alert:  how do you feel about angels? Yeah, because let me tell you, they're not nearly as lame as you think.)

5.11 Sam Interrupted:

Dean: It's the end of the world, okay? I mean, it's a damn Biblical Apocalypse, and if I don't stop it and save everyone, then no one will, and we all die. Dr. Cartwright: That's horrible. Dean: Yeah, tell me about it. Dr. Cartwright: I mean, Apocalypse or no Apocalypse... monsters or no monsters, that's a crushing weight to have on your shoulders. To feel like six billion lives depend on you...God...how do you get up in the morning? Dean: That's a good question.

(spoiler alert: this is actually Dean talking to himself)

5.17 99 Problems:

SAM : Busy night? PAUL: I’m telling you, since The End started, it’s been like one long last call. That round’s on me. 

(spoiler alert: welcome to the apocalypse, pull up a bar stool)

DEAN: We’re all gonna die, Sam. In like a month—maybe two. I mean it. This is the end of the world, but these people aren’t freaking out. In fact they’re running to the exit in an orderly fashion. I don’t know that that’s such a bad thing. SAM: Who says they’re all gonna die? What ever happened to us saving them?

(spoiler alert: hey remember that other time Dean went all nihilistic about the end of the world? yeah good times)

DEAN: So the demons smoking out—that’s just a con? Why? What’s the endgame? CASTIEL: What you just saw—innocent blood spilled in God’s name. SAM: You heard all that heaven talk. She manipulates people. DEAN: To slaughter and kill and sing preppy little hymns. Awesome. CASTIEL: Her goal is to condemn as many souls to hell as possible. And it’s…just beginning. She’s well on her way to dragging this whole town into the pit. 

(remember the whore of babylon’s MO? manipulating people into doing stuff they never would’ve out of fear? yeah)

LEAH: This is why my team’s gonna win. You’re the great vessel? You’re pathetic, self-hating, and faithless. It’s the end of the world. And you’re just gonna sit back and watch it happen. DEAN grabs the stake, punches LEAH, and stakes her. DEAN : Don’t be so sure, whore.

(remember that time the whore of babylon taunted Dean about rejecting his destiny as the vessel of Michael, basically trying to manipulate him into doing the thing? And then he tried to go out and do the thing in the next episode but Cas stopped him? yeah good times)

5.18 Point Of No Return:

PREACHER : The end is nigh! The apocalypse is upon us! The angels talk to me, and they asked me to talk to you! The apocalypse— DEAN: Hey! I’m Dean Winchester. Do you know who I am? PREACHER: Dear God. DEAN: I’ll take that as a yes. Listen, I need you to pray to your angel buddies and let them know that I’m here. 

(spoiler alert: good thing that guy prayed too loud)

5.20 The Devil You Know:

CROWLEY Now...For the record, I'm against this. Negotiating a high-level defection -- It's very delicate business. SAM What are you talking about? CROWLEY I begged Dean not to come back. We should be miles away...from you. He replied with a colorful rejoinder about my "corn chute." SAM (scoffs) CROWLEY So, go ahead. Go --ruin our last best hope. It's only the end of the world.

(spoiler alert: considering this entire thing was a demonstration of Crowley’s ability to manipulate things to his favor... nice tug on the ol’ apocalypse card to get your way)

5.21 Two Minutes To Midnight:

Pestilence: Hmm. You boys don't look well. It might be the, uh, Scarlet fever. Or, uh, the meningitis. Oh! Or the syphilis. That's no fun. However you feel right now? It's gonna get so very, very much worse. Questions? Disease gets a bad rap, don't you think? For being filthy. Chaotic. Uh, but, really, t-that just describes people who get sick. Disease itself... very... pure... single-minded. Bacteria have one purpose -- divide and conquer. That's why, in the end... it always wins. So, you've got to wonder why God pours all his love into something so messy! And weak! It's ridiculous. All I can do is show him he's wrong, one epidemic at a time. Now... On a scale of 1 to 10, how's your pain?

(spoiler alert: blowing up the bacteria actually kills them)

Bonus:

Death: As old as God. Maybe older. Neither of us can remember anymore. Life, death, chicken, egg. Regardless -- at the end, I'll reap him, too. Dean: God? You'll reap God? Death: Oh, yes. God will die, too, Dean. Dean: Well, this is way above my pay grade. Death: Just a bit.

(spoiler alert: *taps watch and raises eyebrow at Billie*)

5.22 Swan Song:

CHUCK (VOICEOVER): Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning, but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always gonna be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you, they're a raging pain in the ass.

(spoiler alert: with the context that this is God speaking, RUDE)

6.15 The French Mistake:

BALTHAZAR Hello, boys. You've seen "the Godfather," right? DEAN Balthazar... BALTHAZAR You know, the end, where Michael Corleone sends his men to kill his enemies in one big, bloody swoop? (Balthazar finds a container of salt and pours it into a bowl on Bobby's desk) DEAN Hey! BALTHAZAR  "Dead Sea brine." Good, good, good. You know, Moe Greene gets it in the eye, and Don Cuneo gets it in the revolving door? DEAN I said "hey." BALTHAZAR You did. Twice. Good for you. Blood of lamb. Blood of lamb. (looking through Bobby's fridge contents) Beer, cold pizza. Blood of lamb. Yes! Blood of lamb! SAM Why are you talking about "the Godfather"? BALTHAZAR Because we're in it – right now, tonight. And in the role of Michael Corleone – The archangel Raphael.

(spoiler alert: Raphael was playing at being a Michael wasn’t he...)

6.20 The Man Who Would Be King:

CASTIEL You want to make a deal? With me? I'm an Angel, you ass. I don't have a soul to sell. CROWLEY But that's it, isn't it? It's all of it. It's the souls. It all comes down to the souls in the end, doesn't it? CASTIEL What in the hell are you talking about? CROWLEY I'm talking about Raphael's head on a pike. I'm talking about happy endings for all of us, with all possible entendres intended. Come on. Just a chat.

(spoiler alert... it all comes down to the souls in the end, happy endings for all of us, or we can hope)

Bonus, for the sake of hilarity, because of the implication that Hell is a spiral narrative that begins at the ending, All Along The Watchtower style:

CROWLEY Yeah. See, problem with the old place was most of the inmates were masochists already. A lot of "thank you, sir. Can I have another hot spike up the jacksie?" But just look at them. No one likes waiting in line. CASTIEL And what happens when they reach the front? CROWLEY Nothing. They go right back to the end again. That's efficiency.

(spoiler alert: THAT’S EFFICIENCY!)

Double bonus, because I said so:

CASTIEL If you touch the Winchesters... CROWLEY Please. I heard you the first time. I promise -- nary a hair on their artfully tousled heads. Besides, I think they've proven my point for me. It's always your friends, isn't it, in the end? We try to change. We try to improve ourselves. It's always our friends who got to claw into our sides and hold us back. But you know what I see here? The new God (pointing at Castiel) and the new Devil, working together.

(no spoilers, this is just Cas giving everything, selling himself out, for his loved ones again)

6.21 Let It Bleed:

March 15, 1937 Providence, Rhode Island

(A man, H.P. Lovecraft, is typing on a typewriter. He drinks and continues typing. He types "THE END" then places the final paper on top of the others. His door creaks open, seemingly by itself. At the same time, there is a crack of thunder and the lights flicker. He looks up, afraid

(spoiler alert: guess what happened next? *screams and blood splatter* *title card*)

bonus:

CASTIEL: It's a means to an end. Balthazar, you understand that. BALTHAZAR: Oh, absolutely. But what's the end here exactly? You know, raid Purgatory, snatch up all the souls? CASTIEL: Win the war.

(spoiler alert: or option B, exploding and taking half the planet with him... always an option, apparently, and the one that kinda happened...)

7.20 The Girl With The Dungeons And Dragons Tattoo:

CHARLIE: So what's the end game – steal our resources, make us some slaves? DEAN: Planet-wide value meal. We're the meat.

(spoiler alert: sorry they weren’t kidding, Charlie. the Leviathan’s end game was pretty miserable)

7.21 Reading Is Fundamental:

DEAN picks up a “Sorry!” card. CASTIEL: You know, we weren't sure at first which monkeys were gonna make it. No offense, but I [DEAN moves a marker on the board] was backing the Neanderthals because their poetry was... just amazing. It's in perfect tune [CASTIEL picks up a card] with the spheres. But in the end, it was you – the [CASTIEL moves a marker] homo sapiens sapiens. You guys ate the apple, invented pants. DEAN: Cas, where can we find this, uh, Metatron? Is he still alive? CASTIEL: I'm sorry. I – I think you have to go back to start. DEAN moves a marker. DEAN: This is important. CASTIEL motions for DEAN to pick up another card. DEAN does and moves another marker. DEAN: I think Metatron could stop a lot of bad. You understand that? CASTIEL picks up another card. CASTIEL: We live in a "sorry" universe. It's engineered to create conflict. I mean, why should I prosper from... your misfortune? [CASTIEL puts down a marker and moves DEAN’s marker back to the start.] But these are the rules. I didn't make them. DEAN: You made some of them. When you tried to become God, when you cut that hole into that wall. CASTIEL: Dean... it's your move. DEAN pounds a fist on the table and swipes the board to the floor. DEAN: Forget the damn game! Forget the game, Cas.

(spoiler alert: In the end, it was you... I mean humanity won the evolutionary lottery and ended up being able to make the rules for ourselves. All through this, Dean’s looking for other potential avenues toward saving the world from being devoured by Leviathan. Remember when Metatron might be able to do a lot of good? while Cas dodges the actual subject and plays a game that literally continually sends Dean “back to the start” to make the same moves again, maybe slightly differently this time, different strategy, as he repeatedly tries to get Cas to answer HIS question about the actual world-ending game they’re playing against the Leviathan? THIS IS THE SPIRAL NARRATIVE IN ACTION IN ONE SCENE. “WE LIVE IN A SORRY UNIVERSE ENGINEERED TO CREATE CONFLICT” “BUT THESE ARE THE RULES” And when Dean is tired of trying to work within the rules? *game goes flying* *smashes God’s guitar* heck this is a perfect scene... have I mentioned that I love Ben Edlund lately?)

8.01 We Need To Talk About Kevin:

DEAN: Yeah, Cas didn't make it. SAM: What exactly does that mean? DEAN: Something happened to him down there. Things got pretty hairy towards the end, and he... just let go.

(spoiler alert: Dean’s already rewriting this ending in his head because he can’t accept the truth of it. Endings suck, and this one would not stand.)

8.12 As Time Goes By:

HENRY : John was a legacy. I was supposed to teach him the ways of the Letters. DEAN : Well, he learned things a little differently. HENRY : How? DEAN : The hard way. Surviving a lonely childhood, a stinking war... only to get married and have his wife taken by a demon... and later killed by one himself. That man got a bum rap around every turn. But you know what? He kept going. And in the end, he did a hell of a lot more good than he did bad.

(spoiler alert: see, Dean’s already made a hell of a lot of peace with John even way back then)

8.14 Trial and Error:

DEAN: I'm a grunt, Sam. You're not. You've always been the brains of this operation. SAM: Dean— DEAN: And you told me yourself that you see a way out. You see a light at the end of this ugly-ass tunnel. I don't. But I tell you what I do know – it's that I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get. So I'm gonna do these trials. I'm gonna do them alone – end of story. You're staying here. I'm going out there. If landshark comes knocking, you call me. If you try to follow me, I'm gonna put a bullet in your damn leg.

(spoiler alert: just look at the title of this episode to see how this all turned out. It ain’t called “Trial and Major Win”)

Bonus:

SAM: I want to slam hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here, family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it. DEAN: Sam, be smart. SAM: I AM smart, and so are you. You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius – when it comes to lore, to – you're the best damn hunter I have ever seen – better than me, better than dad. I believe in you, Dean. So, please – please believe in me, too.

(spoiler alert: hell if this doesn’t sound like the speech Sam gave Dean in 14.12, but like way less frustrated, angry, and afraid)

8.17 Goodbye Stranger:

Meg: You ever miss the Apocalypse? Castiel: No. Why would I miss the end of times? Meg: I miss the simplicity. I was bad. You were good. Life was easier. Now it's all so messy. I'm kind of good, which sucks. And you're kind of bad -- which is actually all manner of hot. We survive this... I'm gonna order some pizza and we're gonna move some furniture around. You understand?

(spoiler alert: Cas doesn’t miss the end of times. And the only reason he was “kind of bad” here was because he was being mind-controlled by Naomi so... Meg will be dead by the end of the episode, and Cas will be freed from Heaven’s control. Good times. Better than the apocalypse anyway)

8.19 Taxi Driver:

BOBBY: Yeah. Yeah, well... You know, I always figured that'd be the end of it... You know, just a Hunter's funeral. Zip. Nothing. And I was okay with that. Imagine my surprise. SAM: Well, I guess if there has to be an eternity, I'd pick Heaven over Hell. BOBBY: Yeah. 'Cause there's nothing screwy going on up there. SAM: I wish I made the rules. BOBBY: Well... I'll, uh, do my part, get to the end of this, but... I ain't exactly the retiring type, so, you idjits figure out a way to spring me...

(spoiler alert: apparently what’s burned doesn’t stay dead, s8 version? Also Sam wishes he made the rules... I love all these mentions of “the rules”)

8.21 The Great Escapist:

DEAN: We got the other half of the tablet. KEVIN: What? DEAN: It's the light at the end of your tunnel, kid. Don't say we never got you nothing.

(tfw the light at the end of the tunnel is actually a locomotive)

Dean: Cure a demon. Okay, ignoring the fact that I have no idea what that actually means, if we — if we do this, you get better, right? I mean, you stop trying to cough up a lung, and, and, and bumping into furniture? Sam: I feel better, yeah, um, just having a direction to move in. Dean: Well, good, cause where we're headed doesn't sound like a picnic. Sam: But we're heading somewhere. The end.

(spoiler alert: LOLOLOL thing again bub.)

9.20 Bloodlines:

ENNIS: Look, I don't need no apology from you. DAVID: I lost someone, too, okay?! But I'm trying here. ENNIS: I'm sorry about your brother. He spoke about you at the end. He said, "David, I'm sorry. I didn't have a choice."

(I wasn’t gonna include this, because it’s purely conversational on top of being from this episode which doesn’t really count but... when they’ve both lost people in a sacrifice play, and one is mistaken for the other and his dying words for his brother are “I didn’t have a choice?” um... that just felt relevant)

9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles?

Gadreel: I sat in this hole for thousands of years thinking of nothing but redemption, of reclaiming my good name. I thought of nobody, no cause other than my own. Castiel: You've been redeemed my friend. Gadreel: The only thing that matters in the end is the mission: protecting those who would not and cannot protect themselves. The humans. None of us is bigger than that, we will not let our fears, our self absorption prevent us from seeing it through. Not anymore. Castiel: No, no of course not. Gadreel: Move to the other side of your cell Castiel, and keep your head down. When they say my name, perhaps I won't just be the one who let the Serpent in, perhaps I will be known as one of the many that gave Heaven a second chance. Run sister.

(spoiler alert: redemption, selfless sacrifice, Gadreel meets his end to prove Metatron’s manipulative duplicity and reveal his real motive... that was just another game in a different loop of the spiral. In the end, it’s the only thing that matters)

10.20 Angel Heart:

CASTIEL: So do you think she's better off on her own? SAM: Cas, she just turned 18. CASTIEL: You were alone when you left for college at that age, weren't you? SAM: Yeah, but that's different. CASTIEL: How, Sam? SAM: Here's all I know ... going it alone, that's no way to live. You being there for her, even if she thinks she doesn't want you to be there for her, that's good for both of you. CASTIEL: Maybe, in the end. SAM: In the end.

(spoiler alert: things don’t just get better right away, and they’re hard but family sticks together, loved ones stick together, even when they say they don’t want to... it might not be easy now, but in the end...)

11.02 Form and Void:

SAM: I was infected last night. You? RABID MAN: This morning. SAM: Wait a second. Then why -- RABID MAN: . . . am I further along? Don't know. This thing, it ain't math. I seen some people change fast, some change slow. But in the end . . . We all end up the same. We go psycho. And then we go boom. SAM: Well, that's not -- I'm gonna fix this. RABID MAN: LIAR! You and me, we're dead. We're just taking our sweet time about it. So if you were smart, you'd put a bullet in me . . . and then eat one yourself.

(Sam wasn’t lying, Rabid Man. You just didn’t make it. And Sam was smart not to put a bullet in either of you.)

Bonus, for extra manipulation:

HANNAH: Where is it? CASTIEL: I don't know. HANNAH: Then who would? The Winchesters? Castiel, if this is true, it's the end for all of us. Sam and Dean -- where are they? CASTIEL: I don't know. HANNAH: Then think harder! CASTIEL: How did you find me?

(because that’s the thing, Cas realized Hannah wasn’t there to help, not there to heal him, and that she’d been in charge of all of this all along. She could’ve helped Cas like he’d asked and earned his trust and he probably would’ve shared what he knew of the Darkness with her, but she resorted to the old Heaven Way Of Doing Things instead... and he saw through the manipulation)

11.09 O Brother Where Art Thou?

Man: Repress your sins. Beg for his divine mercy. When the end comes – and come it will – only the forgiven will ascend to holy grace.

and

Amara raises both her arms skyward, compelling lightning bolts. One by one the members of the crowd are struck down; with the final lightning bolt hitting the man who had been preaching. They are all dead, completely scorched. The blood on the fountain turns back to water. The thunderstorm ends. Amara surveys her work, her gaze resting on one body, still holding a sign that says: THE END IS NEAR!

(gotta love those wackadoo religious nuts in this universe, right?)

Dean: What is it exactly that you want? When you make the world of bliss and peace, what’s in it for you? Amara: What I deserve. Dean: Which is? Amara: Everything. Dean: Everything? Amara: I was the beginning and I will be the end. I will be all that there is. Dean: So, you’re it. [Dean turns away from Amara]. That would make you God. Amara: No, God was the Light. I’m the Dark.

(So Amara was the beginning and will be the ending, all that there is... kinda... sounds a bit like... the empty?)

11.10 The Devil In The Details:

Lucifer: Okay, you don't like me. I get it... I get it; sometimes I don't like me either. But Gabriel and Raphael are dead. God went out for a pack of smokes and never came back... and Michael... well, let's just say prison life hasn't really agreed with Michael. These days he's usually sitting in a corner singing show tunes and touching himself. Sam: So you're it. Lucifer [laughing]: I'm it! And hey, I'm not the good guy, we both know I'm not, but the Darkness, she's the end of everything. Lucifer crouches down so he is face to face with Sam, imploring with him. Lucifer: But I can beat her. We can beat her. You and me, together. So come on, Sam. Make the right choice, the big sacrifice one more time, man. Sam, it's time to save the world, man.

(hooooly shit there’s a lot of lying and manipulating happening here... and the Darkness? even she wasn’t the end of everything)

11.16 Safe House:

(mostly included for flashback-to-the-apocalypse lolz)

BOBBY: The apocalypse is on the horizon, and you wanna hunt a damn ghost! RUFUS: Well unless you found a way to stop the end of the world during your little siesta, we got jack all on any of that business. Now I knew you were in the area, heard about this possible little gig, I thought a win would be nice.

(because it’s the end of the world and weird random “wins” help. Plus things that exist outside of time and space in convenient pocket dimensions for easy storage outside of God’s lil creation)

11.17 Red Meat:

Michelle: I... I just wanted to see how you were doing. And to tell you th... [Her voice shakes with emotion and she pauses.] I'm sorry. You saved our lives and... [another pause] well, my mom used to say, um... I didn't believe her then, but I... I think I do now. She used to say... death... it's not the end.

(lololololololllllllllll)

Dean’s spirit: You know, the Darkness is out there... and the world is gonna burn. And once she gets started, that's the end of everything, including you. Now, Sam's the only one who can stop it. Billie: Hmm. How's that? Dean is lost for words. Billie: That's what I thought. It's cute, though. You pretending you're trying to save Sam for the greater good, when we both know you're doing it for you. You can't lose him. But even if Sammy could win the title bout... the answer would still be “no.” The answer will always be “no.” Game's over, Dean. No more second chances. No more extra lives. Time to say bye-bye to Luigi, Mario. Dean’s spirit [sadness and desperation in his eyes]: I'm asking you... I'm begging you, please. Bring him back. Bring him back and take me instead. Billie: I'm not here to bargain with you, kid. I'm here to reap you. And the kicker is... Sam's not dead. [Dean looks stunned] But you are. Or will be, soon enough.

(DOUBLE LOLLLOLOLOLOLLOLLOLLLL)

11.21 All in The Family:

Dean: You're right. I am drawn to you. And it bothers the hell out of me, 'cause I can't control it. Amara: Then why fight it? What you're feeling is that I am the end of your struggle. Something stops you. Keeps you from having it all.

(lol Amara REALLY wants to be the end doesn’t she... poor thing gonna get stuck with Mr. Infinite Loop Chuck... no wonder that’s like her worst nightmare. Heck, being locked up in nothingness sounds better, since that IS her deal... she’s not just the “end” though... she’s also the beginning...Alpha and Omega... Chuck is all the middle bits)

11.22 We Happy Few:

CHUCK: I can’t say I’m sorry if I’m not. (He places plates of pancakes in front of SAM and DEAN.) What he wants an apology for, I did it for humanity. For the world. Look, Lucifer wants what everybody wants: Amara gone. ‘kay? Let’s just give him a little time to cool off. (CHUCK sips from a mug labeled WORLD’S GREATEST DAD.) DEAN: Okay, well, I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but a little time is not something that we have. The end is frickin’ nigh.

(omfg it’s all the Dabb era themes... god Chuck has always been a dick)

Bonus:

CLEA: End times shouldn’t bother you though, Ro, you a rat. Find your way off any sinkin’ ship. ROWENA: Damn right. The spell I’m working on is Book of the Damned magic, and it can get us back. We can buy ourselves a few more centuries of life. Turn back the clock for us before the world inevitably goes (sing-song) ‘bye-bye.’ CLEA: You scared. ROWENA: Aye. I came face-to-face with the Darkness. The Apocalypse bell’s been rung a few times in our day, but when I looked inside her, I saw it. Not just the end of the world, Heaven and Hell. The end of magic. 

11.23 Alpha And Omega:

CAS: The angels are—Heaven won't help. DEAN: They know that this is the end, right? Of everything. CAS: Yes. SAM: And they don't care? CAS: No, it's not that. It's... They know—They know God is dying and they don't think we can win this. Souls or no souls. They're sealing Heaven, and they're "dying with dignity".

(spoiler alert: it’s like they keep trying to do this all through Dabb era... even after the Shadow throws open every gate. They’re still dying. Kinda makes me think it’s Chuck’s doing... literally... all of it, since it was Humanity’s Plan in this episode that CHANGED things from Chuck’s plan to just... wait for the inevitable blast wave ending)

[Sam, Cas, Crowley and Rowena, and Chuck pull up in the Impala to ‘The The Lazy Shag’ bar/restaurant which has a ‘Closed’ sign on the door. A man walks by with a sign that says ‘The End Is Near’.]

(and a bit later Cas comments that Chuck looks terrible >.>)

12.12 Stuck In The Middle (With You):

[organ music plays, Castiel is sitting in his truck listening to the radio] RADIO: Each of us has a time the physical body dies. We all face God’s judgment in the end. There’s not one of us alive walking on this earthly plane that will not pay the consequence for their actions. [the Impala pulls into the parking lot, distracting Cas from the radio] RADIO: The Lord will hold us in the palm of his hand, and he’ll weigh our souls. Brothers and sisters, are you worthy? [Cas turns off the radio]

(lol, THE WOUNDED ANGEL)

RAMIEL: Allies. Is that what you call three humans with one good liver between them and a busted up angel? CROWLEY: I admit they don’t sound like much. But every Armageddon, every bloody, “this is the end of all things,” a Winchester stopped it. Like it or not, they’re an asset we can’t afford to lose.

(Crowley being sensible, there’s something much bigger than Ramiel’s surface-level read at stake here)

12.20 Twigs And Twine And Tasha Banes:

KETCH: It's the end for the American Hunters. Their time has passed.

(BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA)

WOMAN: I'm reaching the end of my very long life, and it's a problem. Max and Dean are also in pain. Another image of Tasha in the cellar bleeding profusely from her stomach area flashes. WOMAN: 'cause I sold my soul for power. So when I pass, my soul goes to Hell. Unless I can find someone to take the burden, to take my magic.

(spoiler alert: that’s YOUR problem, lady)

12.22 Who We Are:

SAM: Is this how you pictured it? The end? DEAN: Oh, you know it's not. I always thought we'd go out like... Butch and Sundance style. (Sam chuckles) SAM: Yeah. Blaze of glory. DEAN: Blaze of glory. (Dean smirks) Son of a bitch.

(spoiler alert: the grenadebaiting payoff. Gonna die anyway? May as well get the big boom.)

13.02 The Rising Son:

SAM: These yellow-eyed things just keep on comin’, huh? DEAN: Mm—hmm. And hopefully this fourth Prince of Hell is the last Kardashian in the family. SAM: According to this, if that was Asmodeus, it’s the end of the line.

(hey, for once, reaching the end of the line is a relief)

13.16 Scoobynatural:

SAM: Dude, what's wrong with you? DEAN: They don't know that they're in a...a C-word. And we're not gonna tell 'em about anything. Not where we're from, not about monsters. Nothing. Capiche? (Dean looks over to the Scooby Gang, standing across the room) DEAN: They are pure and innocent and good, and we're gonna keep it that way. SAM: Look, if you've seen this episode, why-why can't we just skip to the end? DEAN: Well, 'cause sometimes it's about the journey and not the destination.

(we can’t “skip to the end” because it’s about the JOURNEY, which is still ONGOING, and therefore NOT THE END)

Bonus:

Sam: Ha! Velma was right. It was a shady real estate developer after all. Jay: It's not fair. I would've gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids. Dean: He said it! He said the line! Scooby Dooby Do! Sam: What are you doing? Dean: Well, I mean at the end of every mystery, Scooby looks at the camera and he says-- Castiel: Dean, you're not a talking dog. Dean: I know that. I... Sam: Yeah. Dean: No, but come on, I-I do look cool with the ascot, right? No? Guys? Come on, guys. Look, red is my color!

(lol!)

13.20 Unfinished Business:

KEVIN: I didn't have a choice! I… Y-you don't understand. I… I… I never used to believe in anything. Well, ex-except science-- quantum mechanical unpredictably. But then the end of the world happened, and everyone around me-- my friends, and my… my mom-- they all started to die. But God chose me? What… What does that even mean?! Michael said he wanted to save the world, not kill it. But he… he hurt so many people. When I couldn't perfect the spell, Michael, he got mad and threw me in the dungeon. And I was so scared, but I fixed it. B-but I… I couldn't do it anymore.

(aah, the poor Worst Version of Kevin, no choice, thought he was doing the right thing, manipulated by circumstance and empty promises...)

GABRIEL: I had it made-- all the booze I could drink, all the, uh, entertainment I could handle. [Sam interrupts and Dean looks disappointed, but the action returns to the motel room] SAM: Okay! Why don't we just skip to the end? [Gabriel sighs and skips to the end of the story, asleep in bed with the two women, when Sleipnir, Narfi, and Fenrir bound him with a sigil and kidnapped him from his bed] GABRIEL: So this is how it ended. By the time I came to, they had sold me to Asmodeus. SAM: Why would they do that? GABRIEL: Hello? Lucifer? In case you don't remember, there was an apocalypse brewing at the time.

(LOL Sam asked Gabriel to skip to the end of the story, and unlike Dean in 13.16, Gabriel did... no wonder Dean was disappointed, he was enjoying the journey even if most of Gabriel’s story was embellished beyond recognition)

LOKI: You think you're some… poor, innocent victim? [he strolls over and punches Gabriel again] Gabriel, with his deadbeat daddy and his mean older brothers. [he stomps on Gabriel] “Who will help me?” “Who will save me?” [he picks Gabriel up and pins him to the wall by his neck] I did! But you… you couldn't keep one promise. And then you had the audacity to ask me to help you again?! [he throws Gabriel down the hall, where Sam and Dean have arrived in a doorway behind him] You think I deserve to die for your spinelessness?! That my sons deserved to die?! [the fight continues, as Dean slides Loki’s sword to Gabriel and Gabriel finally gets Loki pinned to the wall at the tip of the blade] LOKI: Of course, of course you would need someone to swoop in and save your pitiful ass. GABRIEL: Shut up! LOKI: Face it, old friend, you're a joke. You're a failure. You live for pleasure. You stand for nothing. And in the end, that's exactly what you'll die for.

(heck... I mean, Loki dies here, because that “promise?” Gabriel didn’t break it. Loki just wouldn’t listen to facts or accept the reality of what happened. Gabriel had been trying to SAVE his father in 5.19, but THEY also wouldn’t listen... so... poor Gabriel was just stuck in the middle again, and he was imprisoned and tortured for it. Heck he better still be alive and that was another projection that died in 13.22)

14.03 The Scar:

Dean: You were right. I just didn’t want to look at it, what Michael used me for. I just wanted to race ahead. You know, skip to the end of the story the part where I get the weapon and I take out the bad guy. The part where I kill Michael. Sam: Yeah, I know. Dean: You know I said yes to him because I thought: it was stupid. I was stupid. Sam: Dean, you did what you had to do.

(ugh there’s that awful “you did what you had to do.” there was NO CHOICE. NONE. and Dean just wanted revenge at any cost for having been used like that... not even just by Michael, but in the Grander Scheme he has context for after 14.20)

14.07 Unhuman Nature:

Rowena: It's as I suspected. A Nephilim, for all its power, is an unnatural presence. Part human, part angel… It -- It doesn't quite fit. It's delicate. Its grace is what holds it in balance, and when Jack's grace was taken from him, his being fell into chaos. The -- The cells are gobbling each other up. Castiel: Well, if it's grace he needs, he can have mine. Rowena: No, dear, it won't do. Jack is part archangel. He needs a much stronger force and probably some kind of magic, and he needs it quick. Dean: How quick? Rowena: I don't...I don't exactly know, but he's enterin' a critical phase. Sometimes he'll look just fine, but then his body will give way and...it'll be the end of him.

(interesting phrasing...)

14.10 Nihilism:

Mainly, I wanted to make note of the song choice that plays in Rocky’s Bar, “Searchin’ for a Rainbow” by the Marshall Tucker Band. Because the lyrics repeat on a loop about looking for the end of the rainbow

14.11 Damaged Goods:

SAM: Mom, we don’t hug. I mean, w-we do, but only if it’s literally the end of the world, you know?

(yet... Dean awkwardly hugged him... sign of the apocalypse)

14.12 Prophet and Loss:

DEAN: Hey. Man, I-I just want to make sure that you’re still with me on this thing. You’re gonna see it through to the end. SAM: Well, I gave you my word, didn’t I? DEAN: Okay, alright. Just, you know, after what you said last night, I-I-I don’t need you and Mom coming up with some way to stop me. SAM: You know, Mom hates this. I hate this. DEAN: I know. SAM: And Cas and Jack, you haven’t even told them. DEAN: Okay, well, yeah, that’s because I’m not good with the whole big goodbyes, alright? I-I-I don’t need to get shaky on this thing. SAM: Wouldn’t be the worst thing. DEAN: You know what Michael wants to do, you know that this will stop it, and you know that there’s no other way. So, just put the end of this trip outta your head, okay?

(spoiler alert: oh look it’s nihilistic Dean from back in 5.18 come for a brief visit. good thing he got clocked on the noggin instead of doing this dumb thing)

Bonus that’s not really a bonus, because boy’s obsessed and it’s just not healthy:

DEAN: I believe in all of us. And I’ll keep believing until I can’t. Until there’s absolutely no other way. But when that day comes – if that day comes… Sam, you have to take it for what it is – the end. And you have to promise me that you’ll do then what you can’t do now, and that’s let me go. And put me in that box.