#JKR used a stutter to make us not like a character and I feel like if that gels with you

[deathsmallcaps]

Whatever happened to not making fun of people’s vocal abilities?

Joe Biden, coherently and normally: I have three issues to speak about. First, the NATO conference went well. Second, the economy is back on track and inflation is down. Third, my proposal for a ceasefire in Gaza is moving forward. Any questions?

The media: Did You Know That You Are Old

[yourlocalmaraudersbabe]

Hi could you write a SiriusxReader where Sirius and the marauders pull a big prank that ends with Sirius confessing his love for the reader and asking them out? Thank you so much!!

“Then I’m in love”

Summary: Sirius confesses his feelings to you as you both bask in the prank he helped pull

Pairing: Sirius Black x Gryffindor!reader (Just small little notes like the common room and the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall)

A/N: Hope you like the fic :))) Thanks for the request, my lovely anon <3

Word Count: 1007

Masterlist + Characters and ships I write for

Requests are always open <3

Reminder that I do not support jkr. Do not interact if you do.

Your library visit was practically ruined from the loud whispers of Sirius, Peter, James, and Remus.

“Will you four shut up already?”

“Afraid not— we’re working right now,” Sirius spoke cheekily.

“Oh! Well in that case, speak up, I’d love to eavesdrop.”

He shook his head and laughed, casting a silencing spell around them.

You were finally able to study for exams that were coming, which was much needed.

As you were heading out from the library and walking towards the great hall for lunch, your favorite person came along beside you. “Wanna tell me what was up from before?”

“Just a prank— a little planning. Actually, much needed planning.”

“Oh c’mon Sirius. Don’t do something too bad. Last prank you pulled scored you two weeks detention every evening. You practically abandoned me in the common room.

“S’not my fault! Blame McGonagall.”

“Is too,” you laughed, taking a jab at him.

Arriving at Gryffindor table was a relief as it was just you two so far. Moments were always more enjoyable when it was just Sirius— nobody else.

When you two were in your own little area at the dinner table, you and Sirius liked to work together to make plates of food. It was something so stupid, yet something the both of you couldn’t give up. He piled on the mashed potatoes on the plates as you spooned some vegetables. He had picked out some tender pieces of roast chicken while you started to pour gravy. “Do you know if anyone else is coming down?”

“I’m not quite sure anymore. They said they’d be headed down, but—”

“There they are! My favorite Gryffindor couple,” James' voice rang through the hall.

You looked over to see Lily smacking James on the arm while you chuckled, finally meeting eyes with Sirius who’s cheeks were rose colored, taking another bite of the food on his plate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Today’s the day,” Sirius spoke in a singsong voice as he threw an arm around your shoulders, coming up from behind. You were simply trying to walk to your first class of the day.

You jumped back, flinching under his grasp.

“Merlin, you scared me.”

He dropped his arms, adjusting something in his bag.

“Still can’t tell me what you have planned?”

“Nope,” he grinned. “Nothing messy, just erm— annoying I suppose? I think it’s quite nice actually.”

“I can’t even begin to think about what you have planned, and quite frankly, I don’t want to know.”

“Oh c’mon, you’re not even slightly interested? I think you’re going to like this one.”

“Nope.”

“You’re lying. You love me and the pranks we pull.”

If only he knew.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter had disappeared from your last class of the day. You were walking back to your dorms to drop off some books, maybe even take a short nap. As you climbed through the portrait hole, you met eyes with Sirius who was walking down the stairs. “Finished,” he gave you a small smile and fake dusted his hands.

“Snape is going to be the death of me. We have an essay due Monday,” you talked about the potions lesson he missed, anything to avoid whatever he just finished.

“Hmm why don’t you go have a lie down?” he spoke in a tone all too familiar— waiting for you to discover something.

You started for your dorm, Sirius right behind you. “What have you done now?”

Opening the door, your eyes darted around the room. Each bed had flowers sprouting from it, the comforters turned to rich, dark soil, mixed with grass.

Much to your surprise, as well as Sirius, something inside of you switched. You laughed, flopping back down onto the bed. “I love these so much,” you mumbled, picking one and sniffing it.

“I told you that you would.”

Sirius leaned against the corner of your four poster bed.

“Well don’t just stand there,” you piped up, relishing in the flowers. He laid next to you on his back, letting out a content sigh. The smell of the flowers enchanted the room even more than magic that already lived there. Sirius’s pinky slowly moved over yours until it was wrapped around it completely. You turn your head smiling as your cheeks got hot. His were already beet red. You reached for his entire hand, slipping the rest of your fingers through his. “I- y/n?”

“Sirius?”

He brought your knuckles up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against them. “I’ve been wanting to say this for some time now. And I was able to get them to pull a little nicer of a prank for you.”

“Wow,” you let out a laugh. “So thoughtful.”

He squeezed your hand, laughing a little with you.

He took a pause, breathing in and out deeply. You admired the way his eyes stared at one spot of the canopy, as if it would tell him what to say next. He turned his head, his eyes meeting yours. “I say,” his voice flipped to a more playful one. “We become Gryffindor’s favorite couple.”

The two of you laughed. “Sirius you better not be—”

“I’m not making a joke or pulling any more pranks, promise you,” he reassured.

“I- James says I’m in love. You’re my best friend and sometimes even more than that. If wanting to wake up next to you each morning, or wanting it to only be us in the Great Hall during meals, or hoping that everyone would leave that stupid common room for an early night so we can have the couches and fireplace to ourselves, or-” he stuttered over the end of his words, eyes darting back and forth, until they met yours again and he calmed down. “Or wanting to kiss you every time I see you is being in love, then—”

You completely cut him off with a kiss, grabbing onto the side of his face. He let go of your hand, holding gently onto your hair where his fingers found their way to.

“Then I’m in love.”

[themysteriousphoenix]

Fic Writer Asks

Because @scamanderishredmayniac is “nosy,” I have answered all of the questions, by request. ;-)

What's something you've written that you know is OOC and you just don't care? Percival Graves being alive. I know that JKR has implied that he never existed and that Grindelwald created him/he was killed when Grindelwald arrived on the scene, but he also has some characterization flushed out and I like the thought of him being a mentor to Tina in the past and/or coming back as “himself” to head up the Auror department after the first movie.

What's the most overrated thing you've written? Badgers. It’s my most popular story on Tumblr. It’s cute, but I wrote it in like an hour and there is no romance in it. It surprises me that it’s so popular. Not that I’m complaining!

Something you wish a commenter had called attention to but got ignored. Some of the small details I have planted in More Than Enough.

Something a commenter did point out that you wish they hadn't. That I haven’t updated I Finally Found What I’m Looking For. *I will, I promise….someday*

Something you hate to see in smut. Women 👏 don’t 👏 come 👏 with 👏 penetration 👏 only. 👏 We writers are setting young women up with unrealistic expectations. Sex is great, but very few people can get there with penetration alone. If you make it during intercourse, it’s because there was further….stimulation. #truth

Something you love to see in smut. Foreplay! You can’t just go for it, you need to warm things up first. Otherwise, it is NOT comfortable, let alone hot or enjoyable. #moretruth

Something you hate to see in dialogue. This is Newtina specific... Making Newt stutter. He doesn’t stutter. If you listen to the way he talks, he will occasionally falter in speech, but no more than any other character. He just delivers his speech in a quick, more monotone way. He’s not unsure (unless he’s trying not to say Salamander Eyes™️), he just doesn’t speak like the rest of the characters. Watch closely and listen to him talk the next time you pull out the movies. You’ll see what I’m talking about. He is actually quite confident about what he says, usually.

Something you love to see in dialogue. Splitting up the dialogue so it’s not a single long paragraph. Give me details! How are they speaking? What is their expression? What is happening around them? I want to know it all, it immerses me in the conversation that the characters are having.

What's your fandom's most overused trope? Mutual pining...though it’s not “overused” at all because it’s fantastic.

What's your least favorite part about posting? When nobody notices and you get no kudos or likes. I need that boost from people to keep going.

What "don't ever do this" writing rule are you guilty of constantly breaking? I drag things out way too much. It’s taken me 33,000 words to get through like 3 days in More Than Enough. Oof...

What writing rule do you refuse to break? I want characters to be canon and I research the crap out of everything I put in my stories. My search history is full of 1920s lingerie, whether or not there were salt and pepper shakers on the tables in diners in 1927, what Newt’s experience in WWI was like and where he would have likely been and done, etc. This is why it takes me eight years to get a chapter out.

What do you need to work on most? Getting chapters out more quickly...

What aspect of writing have you had the most growth in? Description and use of a thesaurus.

We all project onto our characters. Where has your personality or life choices leaked onto the page the most? Alright, go read the “I feel like I can’t breathe” prompt in my drabbles and prompts story on AO3. Take away the wizards and you have the exact conversation that my husband and I had one night when I was pregnant. I even had him read it and he immediately said “I’m Newt, aren’t I?” I bring a lot of our dating/engagement/romantic exploration/marriage into my writing because we were both awkward when we met each other and figured it all out together.

What's the most ridiculous thing you've done to put off actually writing? Watching Hoarders on Netflix.

How are you procrastinating today? By filling out this questionnaire. I should be writing. lol

[i-writing-is-hard-i]

Remus x Pilindiel.

another request from @pilindielofgondor   hope you enjoy :) again it’s a little longer than expected, 

The character is Pilindelofgondor’s and JKR’s, except Luka, who is just a random character I made up for this

Pilindiel is a student originally from Spain, she is housed in Slytherin.  

[Warnings] Don’t think there is any.

Pilindiel was sitting in the library minding her own business working on some homework when Lily Evans approached her.   The two had become quite good friends over the past four years at Hogwarts, even though Pilindiel is in Slytherin and Lily was a Gryffindor it didn’t stop either of them spending time together.  In fact, Pilindiel was grateful for the redhead, since Pilindiel moved from Spain to England, other students were only interested in her because of her origins, Lily was one of her real friends. Now with Pilindiels attention on longer on her work, she finally noticed Remus Lupin sitting across the room, hiding his face in a book, looking rather engrossed in whatever he was reading.  Lily noticed her focus and smiled to herself.

“Why don’t you just go and talk to him?” she whispered, Pilindiel blushed scarlet, shaking her head.  There was no way Pilindeil could ever just ‘talk’ to Remus, she had a hard time making conversation with her longtime friends, there was no way she could even make a coherent sentence when it came to her crush.  Lily sighed, looked back over to Remus before taking off in his direction.  Pilindiel starred at her, feeling her heart beat race, ‘What was she doing?’.

A few minutes later, Remus packed, up his bag and started towards the now shaking girl,

“Lily said your good at Herbology” he mumbled, Pilindiel couldn’t speak, but nodded, it was after all her best subject.  

“Would you mind helping me out, I just uh, I just don’t get it?” Remus asked his mumbles were barely audible, Pilindiel was already having trouble, this was the first time Remus had ever really talked to her.  Before she had really processed the situation, she nodded a yes, a relieved sigh left Remus' lips, then took the seat beside her.  Pulling out his herbology books.

Pilindiel pulled out her own Herbology stuff, and begun talking about it, as time went on Pilindiel became more and more confident, beginning to talk rather passionately about plants and herbs, Remus listened intently taking in everything she said, even when on the odd occasions she drifted off from the homework its self.  He was quite smitten by the exchange student.  In truth, he wasn’t struggling that much with Herbology and could usually figure it out with a bit of extra work, but he really wanted to talk to Pilindiel, and thanks Lily giving him the suggestion he was finally able to work up the courage.  

“Uh, sorry” Pilindiel suddenly spoke, blushing again.

“For what?” Remus wore a confused expression,

“I’m supposed to be helping you with your homework, but I drifted off”

Remus gave her a warm smile.

“No it’s fine, I think I understand it all now” Remus reassured.

His kindness only make Pilindiel blush more,

“Oh”

With that Remus finished up his homework.  Together they finished their homework, and just as they were putting away their stuff, the rest of the Marauders showed up.  

“Hey, Remus!” James called out, followed by a shhhing noise from Miss Pince. Pilindiel felt awkward, so she shoved the rest of her stuff into her bag said goodbye and left, quickly.  As she was talking away she heard Remus complaining to his friends for interrupting.

A week later, Pilindiel was once again sitting in the library working on her homework, when Remus approached her.

“Uh, thanks for the help last week, I got full marks” Remus spoke,

“Oh, no problem, anytime” Pilindiel replied,

“Don’t suppose you could give me a hand again?” it was barely audible,

“Yeah, that’s okay”

This became a regular thing for the next few weeks, Pilindiel would help Remus with his Herbology homework over that time Pilindiel and Remus became more comfortable talking to each other, and their conversations would often drift off to other subjects.  Today was no different,

“So, uh next Saturday” Remus started but stopped himself, rubbing the back of his neck.  Pilindiel looked up to him quizzically.  

“Well, wanna go to Hogsmeade with me?, I mean if you haven’t any other plans, um, think of it as a way to for me to say thank you”  for a sentence that should only have taken him a few seconds to say, seemed to take him minutes instead as he stumbled over his words, but Remus relaxed quickly when Pilindiel answered with a yes, he was so happy that she agreed that he left before arranging the time.  Pilindiel attempted to call out to him, but he was already gone.  ‘Maybe I’ll catch him later?’  right on queue as Pilindiel left the library, Remus came running back looking a little flustered.  Pilindiel giggled lightly, as Remus stuttered out an apology.  Pilindiels reaction seemed to calm Remus, he managed to get out a time and place then left again.

Later that evening, Pilindiel met up with Lily in the courtyard,

“Want to go to Hogsmeade Saturday?” she asked,

“Remus and I are heading there already, so probably see you there” Pilindiel replied nonchalantly, not think anything of it.  However Lily seemed amazed.

“Oh, does someone have a date?” Lily asked, a little shocked now.

“A date?” Pilindiel looked confused, “ It's not a date” she clarified. There was no way Remus Lupin, her longtime crush would ever ask her out on a date.

“Oh, really what is it then?” Lily replied.

“Well, he said that he wanted to thank me for helping with his homework”

Lily gave her a look, but as if she thought about it, she suddenly looked exasperated, Pilindiel could have sworn she mumbled something about Remus being an idiot under her breath.

Saturday came so quick for Pilindiel, she woke up in a fit of nervous, thinking about it, the two really only ever talk about school work, what was she going to talk about?.  It was going to be awkward, she thought. Putting that in the back of her mind, Pilindiel got dressed for the winter.  It didn’t matter how long she had lived in England, she just couldn’t get used to the cold.  Slipping on one of her favourite dresses, then pulling on a pair of very thick tights and chunky boots, she didn’t mind the look, but she missed her sandals and bare legs.  Pulling on her thick coat and lastly pulling down her hat forcing her rather wild curly hair down, having it poke out underneath.

Remus was already waiting for Pilindiel outside at the main door, he too was all suited up ready for the walk,

“Ready?” he asked, his usually pale skin flushed from the cold, hiding the scar across his nose.  It was kind of cute too see.  

“Yup,” Pilindiel returned,

The journey to Hogsmeade was pretty quiet, both Remus and Pilindiel tried to make conversation, or at least think of something to say, but it never lasted.   The first thought for Pilindiel was that she wasn’t interesting enough, she needed to find something to ask him, something that only he could answer.  It wasn’t until they had sat down with a butterbeer in front of them did she think of something.  His mum was a muggle,  Maybe she could ask him a few questions, about it, the only other Muggleborn was Lily, and she never really asked her about it.  After a while longer of silence, Pilindiel brought it up, asking about his muggle life.  At first, Remus seemed a little uncomfortable about talking about it, but once books and music came up, he seemed to relax into the conversation,  Pilindiel listened with interest, noting the difference between the muggle world and the ‘Pureblood’ world.  The more he spoke the more Pilindiel wanted to know.  Especially about the books.  The conversation turned to Pilindiel, Remus wanted to know about Spain so Pilindiel answered where she could, it made her feel homesick, at the same time it was nice to talk about it to someone who generally seemed interested.  It was getting dark by the time the two left, curfew was nearing, with only enough time to get back to the school, the rushed along the path, other students rushed around them heading back in a hurry themselves.  They said their goodbyes then headed off to their respective dorms.

Pilindiel enjoyed herself much more than she had expected, so much so, she was on a high right into the next day, as she sat in the library waiting, hoping Remus would show up like usual, and right on queue Remus walked over plonking himself down beside her.  The two got to work, but managed to drift off topic more often than, finishing up their conversations from yesterday.  The whole time Pilindiel felt pretty giddy.

“Oh, here, uh” Remus stuttered.  The confidence he had yesterday disappeared.  He wasn’t sure why, but he handed Pilindiel the book it was his favourite,

“Oh, this was the book you were talking about yesterday” Pilindiel recalled him taking rather animatedly about it.  

“You did say you were interested right,” Remus asked suddenly

“Yes, Thank you” Pilindiel took the book from him, quickly reading the back, it was something she would normally be interested in, and the fact that it was Remus favourite made it all the more interesting to her

“I’ll start it tonight” Pilindiel smiled brightly.  Remus returned the smile with his own toothy grin.  Normally the two would leave once they had finished their homework, but the two remained seated, only leaving when the bell for dinner rung,  together they walked to the Great Hall.  

When Pilindiel sat down at her table, she got some interesting looks from a few of her fellow Slytherins, but she ignored them, pretending they didn’t bother her.  Deep down though it made her pretty self-conscious.  It was the same looks she used to get when she first started hanging out with Lily.  they should stop in time.  Speaking off Lily, Pilindiel was to meet her after dinner, for a catch-up, in other words, she was going to bombard her with questions about Hogsmeade.  

Sure enough, the first thing out of Lily's mouth was ‘How was the date?’  Pilindiel repeated that it wasn’t a date, it was purely two friends hanging out, but Lily seemed to either not have heard her or didn’t care.  Reluctantly, Pilindiel answered all the questions Lily threw out her.  

The sky turned dark, and the wind picked up, indicating that it was time to head in.  saying goodbye Pilindiel headed to the Slytherin Dungeon, Bypassing her fellow students and friends she made her way to her dorm.  Pilindiel wanted to start reading the book Remus lent her.  Partly because she was curious, partly because she hated borrowing things, and always tried to hand them back as soon as she could.

Four chapters in and Pilindiel had no intentions of putting it down, even after her roommates came in.  she had never read a muggle book before, she found it both strange and interesting how muggles do things, how they adapt, inventing things that make life easier for them, it was so different to the magical world.   

It only took Pilindiel the week to finish the book in between school work and socialising.  So that Sunday, whilst Remus and she were sitting in the library Pilindiel handed back the book.

“What did you think?” Remus asked, taking the book from her.  Pilindiel smiled,

“It was brilliant!” she enthused,  and before they knew it, the two were talking away about the book and the characters.  Remus explained that there would be more to come, which excited Pilindiel.   Remus suddenly froze in place, he was watching Pilindiel talking, listening to her heavy accent, enjoying how she pronounced each word, the way she spoke happily about his favourite book, he was completely taken by her and he knew it.  

“Its really beautiful writing” Pilindiel finally concluded.

“Yes, you are” Remus sighed  “I mean it is, the book, the book is beautiful” he tried to recover himself, speaking so fast the words melted into each other, Pilindiel heard just fine, what he had said, blushing ear to ear.  ‘Did he really mean it?’  Remus looked down to his parchment, cursing himself for letting that slip.  He shouldn’t be getting this close to her.  Not with his problems.  After the now awkward silence, the two got back to their homework.

Remus had promised himself that he would stop letting himself ‘fall’ for Pilindiel, and every time he tried to ignore her, she would do something that ruined it.  There was nothing he could do about it, he was falling madly in love with her.  So the next Hogsmeade tripped he asked her to go with him again, this time he would take her to the creaking shake, where he would share his ‘problem’ he would tell her the truth, then she can back off, where he couldn’t.  He trusted her enough not to share his secret.  When it came to actually, asking her, he froze up.  Pilindiel waited patiently, but he just couldn’t get it out. In the end, it took him four more tries before he finally stammered it out.   Part of him hoped she would say no, but she didn’t and so he stood at the main door waiting for her.  When Pilindiel arrived Remus barely said hello.

Pilindiel knew there was something wrong, with her self-conscious mind, her thoughts automatically went to her being the’ something wrong’.  When they had reached the path to the creaking shack, Remus stopped.

“Uh, mind if we got his way?” he asked, he had spent the entire walk building up the courage to tell her.  

“Yeah” Pilindiel nodded, following him along the path.  

Once at the fence, Remus turned to her.  It was now or never, but his mind had gone blank, all that practicing he did on the way was meaningless. Pilindiel waited patiently, outwards, but inside she was reeling.  So many thoughts crossed her mind, that she couldn’t quite pick out one.  

“I’m a werewolf” Remus suddenly said, surprising himself more than anything.  It took Pilindiel a moment to register what he had said, when she did, she wasn’t sure she believed him.  

“A werewolf?” she finally repeated, quizzically.  

“Yes,” Remus assured.  There was no joking in his tone, no lying in his eyes.  He was telling the truth, and all Pilindiel could say was ‘oh’  she was raised to hate well most things, including werewolves, her parents often taught her that they were bad, dangerous and should be either avoid or better yet exterminated.  But Remus was nothing like what they told her, he was good, kind, and gentle,  he would never hurt anyone.  When Pilindiel looked up at him, Remus was looking at his feet, his expression was so deflated, there was no way he was dangerous, she couldn’t think of what to say until something popped into her head.  

“So that’s why they call you Moony” she trying her best to show that it was okay.

“Yeah, they think it’s funny” Remus sighed, he was waiting for the bad news that he had been preparing himself for.

“It’s quite fitting, wait, is that why you call each other those nicknames?” Pilindiel chuckled. Remus' head shot up, when he heard her giggle.  

“Wait, I just told you I’m a werewolf I’m dangerous, and you are okay with it?” He asked shocked. “Why wouldn’t I be?, you’ve never hurt me, or anyone, well as far as I know” Pilindiel replied honestly,

Remus didn’t know what to say, he was certain that Pilindiel would hate him, but she was accepting him, he wasn’t prepared for that at all.  He stood there dumbfounded staring at her for longer than what would be normal.  Causing Pilindiel to feel quite self-conscious now.  

He finally caught himself, shaking his head,

“Well, huh, should we continue to Hogsmeade,” Remus asked, not sure what else to say.  

“Okay” Pilindiel was smiling at him like she always did and now he was even more in love with her.  

The two headed to The Hogs Head, for some Butterbeer, whilst they sat there, Remus seemed more quiet than normal.  Pilindiel looked around making sure no one could, or would be listening.

“Thank you, by the way” She whispered gently.

“Uh, for what?” Remus returned.   “Telling me, you didn’t have too, but you did” she replied.  

“Oh, uh” Remus didn’t really know what to say, so he smiled at her kindly.  

Far from what Remus expected, things continued the way it always had between him and Pilindiel.  She really didn’t care about it, and even supported him during the full moon.  Pilindiel did ask a few questions about it, and Remus did his best to answer, and all of this only made him fall even further in love with her.  He was completely gone now.  

Pilindiel was sitting in the library waiting for Remus to show up when a boy from Slytherin walked over.  She knew him well, thanks to her and his parents getting along so well, and she didn’t like him, he was overconfident and very anti- well anything that isn’t a pureblood and for some reason, he thought he had a chance with her, suppose her parents encouraging it didn’t help.  He took the seat beside her and refused to stop talking.  Pilindiel was far too shy to say something, but she found herself looking out for Remus, and as soon as she saw him walking in, she jumped up, excused herself and rushed up to him.  Remus jumped when she approached, he took a quick glance back to where she was sitting, the boy was watching shocked.

“Sorry can we go somewhere else?” she asked, hinting at the boy.

“Yeah” he smiled, he had seen them talking when he walked in, at first he thought the two was getting along, but when he realised they weren’t he couldn’t deny the elated feeling he had.

The two found a quiet spot outside where they could work.

“Who was he?” Remus asked when they took a break.

“Oh, uh Luka”  Pilindiel’s tone was very unenthusiastic. Remus chuckled.

“Don’t like him then?” he continued.  Pilindiel explained a few things about him, with Remus chipping in causing Pilindiel to laugh.  Suddenly Remus pressed his lips to hers.  Pilindiel froze, shocked by the suddenness.  Remus pulled away almost as quick as he kissed her.  Shocked at his own actions.  He tried to stammer out an excuse but simply made a mess.  Pilindiel watched him, gapping like a fish, when something took over her, this time she kissed him.  Remus tensed for a mere second before returning the kiss.  

When they pulled away, both of them burst into gleeful laughter.  

“Didn’t expect that” Remus breathed.  

“Me neither” Pilindiel smiled.  Remus confidence took over.  

“Pilindiel” he started.  Pilindiel looked him waiting, “Well, I really like you, and uh, well, I want to, do you want to go out with me?” he stammered out.

“Okay” Pilindiel replied,

“Really? Even though I’m a” he paused. Pilindiel knew what he was going to say,

“Even though you are a” she stopped smiling, Remus chuckled.

“I have a confession to me” Remus decided, smiling to himself, “I am pretty useless at Herbology, but I usually get by on my own, I just wanted an excuse to talk to you” He admitted. Pilindiel recalled the first time he approached her, asking for help 

“Lily?” Pilindiel asked in return, she didn’t really mind, 

“Lily”  Remus agreed, he slid a little closer to the girl, so their legs were touching. 

“Guess I should thank her” Pilindiel continued, she turned back to her book lifting it up and in returned leaned her head on his shoulder. 

Remus couldn’t believe he had gotten so lucky. There was no way he deserved her, but maybe he could let himself enjoy it for now.  

[yoramkelmer]

Hogwarts Too Exposed Chapter 23: The Seer

Welcome back to the sporking. I know it´s been a year since the last time, but I finally got the energy to continue. I hope to finish the sporking of the second to last chapter of the fic today already.

When we last left off, there was (yet) another cliffhanger, and I´ll just say it now, it´s the Moaning Myrtle, as she also had to be dragged into this dreck. As she died as she was still a virgin, she is curious to what Jamie and Alex are doing. It ends with this here:

Myrtle was reluctant to leave, but decided that a descriptive conversation was better than nothing. "You won't forget; you promise?" Myrtle practically begged. "I'll come visit you in your bathroom immediately after my last class," Jamie promised. "Would it be possible for him to drop the towel before I leave?" Myrtle asked, almost pleaded. "I don't think so," Jamie said. "Alex isn't a naturist. He's rather embarrassed for his privates to be seen." As Jamie was speaking, however, Alex did something extremely unanticipated. He loosened his towel and let it drop to the floor. "Myrtle, if it's all right with you, I'd like to come and visit you with Jamie tomorrow," Alex said. Myrtle stared at Alex, her face carrying an expression that actually resembled a smile as she stuttered, "Th... that would b... be nice," before disappearing, with a swooshing sound, down the drain. Jamie just stood staring at Alex and shaking her head. "You never cease to amaze me Mr. Ward. What possessed you to drop that towel and tell Myrtle you'd accompany me tomorrow?" "Everyone makes fun of her; calls her 'Moaning Myrtle'." Alex said. "Jamie, she was no older than us when her life was taken from her. She never got to experience love like we have. What if that had happened to one of us? And now she's destined to spend eternity in the Hogwarts plumbing system. "I feel sorry for her. If dropping my towel gave her a smile and made her existence more bearable, I'm glad I did it," Alex admitted unashamedly. Jamie had a tear in her eye. "Add another entry to the long list of reasons why I love you," she said. "Meet me in the middle of the bed, and I'll show you just how much."

Jamie is such a speshul and selfless Mary Sue that she wants to teach a ghost about Sex. Yeah. Right.

*barf*

* * * * * *

Cut for a very boring and dragged out scene with Harry and Hermione talking about their past, whether Caitlin and Emily are “done with it” and a reminder of the court case regarding Amanadas pregnancy.

* * * * * *

"I can't do this!" Ron grumbled. "People are only supposed to be naked when they have sex or take a shower. Not when they sit down to dinner."

I feel for Ron right now, even though this strawman dialogue is terrible and forced. "You never seem to have a problem with me being nude the majority of the time," Samantha protested. "That's because you're a girl, a very attractive girl. Girls look good naked, but it's gay for a guy to parade around like this," Ron argued. "What will Timmy think?

You can really feel here how much Neil hates Ron. "I don't know," Sam admitted. "I only know that if we're going on this cruise, you have to start somewhere and being nude at home in front of Timmy and me seems the logical first step." "Maybe this whole cruise thing was a bad idea. Perhaps we should just forget it and see if we can get our money refunded," Ron suggested. "Is that what you really want to do?" Sam asked, dejectedly. "I'll have Hermione check into it, if you like." One look at the disenchanted expression on Sam's face and Ron realized he couldn't back out. "It's just.... Look at me! I'm a tall scrawny, pile of freckles. Maybe if I was some Greek Adonis it wouldn't be so bad."

Cut for more boring. And then Timmy comments on how big Rons penis is. Oh G-d is this terrible....

Friday, February 18, 2005 10:00 AM "Do you have any idea why the change of location for the meeting?" Hermione asked as Severus and she hurried toward the conference room. "It was made to sound like it was being done out of deference to you," the Headmaster responded, "but I imagine it's more of a surprise inspection of the school." Is Neil trying to make already out of character Snape sound like Dumbledore?

"I'm sorry Severus," Hermione said guiltily. "I didn't mean to make trouble for you. It's just that I couldn't sit idly by and let Amanda be tossed out of school without even trying to prevent it." "There's no need for you to apologize," Severus said. "I totally support your viewpoint. I'm just concerned that this meeting may turn out to be more about Professor Granger than Amanda Pierce. Of course they will make this all be about Hermie Sue. The board was rather backed into a corner and compelled to keep you on after the Playwizard incident. They might see this as an opportunity to vent their frustration." 

Be prepared for a totally clichéed court case filled with Strawmen, even worse than the custody case earlier in this fic.  "Amanda doesn't have a chance of staying in school, does she?" Hermione asked, aggravation evident in her voice. "I can't believe the Board of Governors would use her to get back at me." 

Come on, we all know that she is going to stay.  "I doubt they would allow Amanda to remain under any condition," Severus answered. "Phineas Buster -___-  and his wife will, however, take great pleasure in making you think the outcome is because of you." Hermione came to a sudden stop. "If they've already made their decision, why are we wasting our time?" "Because they are bland moustache twirling villains who do this all for the LOLs Hermione, I believe in miracles, and I believe in you," Severus said, putting his arm around Hermione, encouragingly. "If anyone can pull this off, it's you." 

Things Severus would never say #9784553  "I wish I had your faith."

* * * * * *

12:15 PM "I believe that concludes all the business before the Board with the exception of the Amanda Pierce issue," Phineas Buster announced. "I move that she be immediately expelled. Those in agreement please signify." 

It´s time to find a gif that pretty much illustrates this character:

"Excuse me," Severus said interrupting Phineas, "Aren't we going to discuss the matter first? Professor Granger has been waiting in the outer chamber for over two hours to address the Board on the subject. The governors exchanged glances of varying surprise, most seemingly unaware that Hermione was planning to testify. 

Why were they, though?  "Yes, I received your owl stating that the learned Professor would like to address us," Mr. Buster said patronizingly, just as he paused to twirl his moustache. "I really feel it is a waste of our valuable time." "It most certainly would be," Balla Buster seriously?, concurred. "The little trollop got herself pregnant and thus must pay the consequences. Hogwarts is a school of witchcraft and wizardry, not a school of sin and fornication." 

Here we have the stereotypical puritan strawman. For the sake of the LOLs I´m gonna imagine her like Aunt Lydia. 

"But if Professor Granger has been waiting that lengthy a time to address us, we should at least afford her the respect of listening to what she has to say," Amelia Bones urged. Much to the chagrin of Phineas Buster, many of the other governors agreed with Ms Bones. He paused again to twirl his moustache. 

"Very well," Phineas said reluctantly. "Headmaster Snape, will you please ask Professor Granger to join us?" As Severus stood to go and get Hermione, Phineas commented not the least bit softly to his wife. "This should be good; the tart defending the trollop." 

As Hermione entered the room, she glanced at the faces of the twelve governors, trying desperately to hide her feeling of total despair. She´s so beautiful, it´s a curse! At age fifty, Amelia Bones was easily the youngest board member; she at least acknowledged Hermione with a smile. As introductions were made some of the others gave her a polite nod, others simply glanced at her grumpily.

Hermione had immediately recognized Professor Tofty and Griselda Marchbanks from her O.W.L. tests and was shocked to discover that Neville's grandmother was on the board as well. The balance of the members, she had never met before, but they all shared one commonality; they were, for the most part, ancient. 

Now, I myself am not that big on knowlegde on HP-lore, and therefore don´t know these names, but I find it really annoying the way Neil just puts in random names to show off his big knowledge and trying too hard to sound like JKR when writing. 

His writing sucks.  "Professor Granger, the Headmaster informs us that you would like to address us prior to our expelling of Amanda Pierce," Phineas Buster echoed in an irate voice. "Please make it brief since it is already past noon." Hermione had intended to maintain her composure, knowing that it would serve no good purpose to anger the governors, but the way this arrogant bastard addressed her made it sound like she was an annoyance and that Amanda was already out. "I'm sorry that you feel I am wasting your time," she said, addressing the entire board, but directing her gaze at Phineas Buster, "but I feel a young woman's future is of more importance than stuffing our faces. I'm sure you can survive." Hermione looked intently at Buster's portly stomach. 

Beauty equals goodness, after all.  Severus grimaced. He had doubted that Hermione had any prospect of convincing the board to allow Amanda to remain, but had hoped the meeting would at least be civil. Evidently, neither Phineas Buster nor Hermione intended to restrain him or herself. 

But Hermie Sue is of course in the right when she acts this way.  "We have to guard the reputation of the school," Balla Buster said, smugly. "Perhaps Miss Pierce should have been more concerned about her future when she decided to act as foolishly as she did. Your alzheimers is dangerous!" 

Snip.

Then this:

"They should abstain," Bella Buster it´s hard to know whether this is what Neil originally wanted to name Ballabuster, but for several paragraphs her name was “Balla”, and for the rest of this scene, it´s “Bella” - it really shows how bad Neils writing is and how bad his betas are. If these betas actually exist, that is.  bellowed. "In my day a young lady never considered having sex before marriage." Hermione studied Bella, who had to be at least one hundred fifty. "Was yours a prearranged marriage," Hermione asked. Bella was caught off guard and became flustered. "Well, yes, but what does that have to do with it? Brides were all virgins. Our generation had morals." "May I ask how old you were when you and Mr. Buster were married?" Bella dithered before finally saying, "Thirteen."

This is the first time we hear about this kind of young marriages in this Saga - and keep in mind, in this scene it is treated as wrong and oldstylish, but in the next fic Neil has no problem with a 13-14 year old girl having a relationship with a guy in his twenties. 

And cut to the end of the trial, with Draco saving the day and Amanada can remain in school despite her pregnancy. 

The next part I think is a proof of Neil being a fan of the Draco Trilogy:

Hermione ran to catch up with Draco. "Draco," she yelled. He stopped and turned toward her. "Thank you," she said, kissing him on the cheek. 

The Draco Trilogy all over again.  "Don't go all mushy on me, Granger. It's still me, Ole Draco. I've not suddenly become one of the good guys." 

"But what you did in there," she said, looking confused. "Nothing has changed. At some future meeting, we'll undoubtedly be at each others' throats again," Draco said dismissively. "Some things will never change. I'm a pure blood and you're a muggleborn." 

This sounds so forced. 

And also Neil desperately trying to portray Draco as “in-character”. Not to mention that the blood status here seems misplaced too, considering this canon where Draco was abandoned by Crabbe and Goyle etc.  "But..." "I was concerned that you might have a fit and end up quitting," Draco admitted. "You might be an insufferable, know-it-all, but you're too damn good a teacher to lose." 

-_-  Hermione simply smiled. "Protest all you want, but I think there still might be hope for you."

You´re in Hogwarts Exposed, all hope is lost by default here. 

* * * * * *

Cut for a  boring scene with Quidditch info that goes nowhere. 

Now we get back to the actual plot again:

"I think perhaps I should have listened to you," what 12 year old talks like that? Emily said in a conceding voice as they seated themselves at the long Slytherin table. "I'll change clothes immediately after breakfast." "What made you change you mind?" Kim asked. "My bare bum against the wooden bench. If there isn't enough skirt for me to sit on, it must really be short," Emily admitted. "It's a weird thing about being a nudist. I'm not the least bit bothered if anyone sees me totally naked or even gets a glimpse of my so called private parts, but it does bother me if people think I am purposely dressing to expose those areas." 

Besides the fact that she talks like an adult, these are all LIES. Emily lives only to be seen naked by others!  "Most people probably wouldn't understand, but I believe I do," Kim said supportingly. She has been assimilated. "You don't dress skimpily in order to be sexy, but rather just because you hate wearing clothes." Repeating this Mantra won´t make it true. 

"That's it," Emily said, relieved that Kim understood, "but most people can't identify with how naturists feel having to be clothed all the time." Emily looked around the Great Hall. "Fortunately for me, most people either ate early or are skipping breakfast today." 

The dialogue, as you might have noticed, gets worse and worse each chapter.  The Great Hall, which on a school day was always crammed with students grabbing a good breakfast before the start of classes, was normally much calmer of weekends due to many students and even staff opting to sleep in. That was either apparently especially true today or everyone had eaten early, because with only fifteen minutes left before the end of breakfast, there were only about fifty students total at the four house tables. 

I though there were classes on weekends too? Remember last chapter? The Slytherin table was especially empty with huge gaps separating those present. Dick Bancroft and his ever present shadow, Dennis Crow were seated at the end closet to the staff table, so naturally Emily and Kim had sat at the extreme other end. The only other Slytherins present were the Scary Sues Denise and Janice who were on the other side about two-thirds of the way down the table and Tyler, who was on their side about mid table, sitting alone. Emily and Kim were enjoying this relative privacy; using the time to talk about the cruise. Emily had just taken a sip of her orange juice when it happened. UUUUUUUHHHHH At first Kim thought the glass had slipped for Emily's hand and broken, but then she saw the blood and realized that Emily had crushed the glass. 

Now we get to the thing that is the next oh so big point of the main plot that is mostly tossed aside for the boring soap opera bits.  Emily seemed oblivious to her injury as she stood up from the table, blood dripping from her bleeding hand. Kim tried talking to her friend, but Emily appeared to be in a trance, not even aware of her surroundings. When Emily spoke; it was with a voice not her own, but deep and raspy and so loud that her words echoed through the Hall. 

Remember the plot point about Jamie and Emilys father being a “seer”, who apparently couldnt foresee his own death? And how he definately was the last in his line with this power?

Yeah, it´s Emily who is the seer in the prophecy. 

Here is the full prophecy - be prepared for Neils purple prose:

"THE STARS PROCLAIM THE RETURN OF THE GREATEST DARKLORD FROM THE BLOOD OF INNOCENTS FOUR, THE GREAT LORD SLYTHERIN'S SPIRIT SHALL POUR. TWO OF HIS OWN, SEER AND HEIR, TWO OF HIS ENEMIES, HEALER AND HEIR, TWO DROPS OF EACH, NOT ANY MORE, WITH THEIR DEATH BY HIS HAND, TO HIS BODY HE WILL BE RETURNED, TO WALK THE EARTH A MORTAL MAN, BUT WHEN SLYTHERIN AND EVIL ARE JOINED, NOT EVEN THE COVENANT WILL BRING THE RESULT DOWN. THE DARKEST OF TIMES THEIR JOINING WILL BRING, SORROW AND PAIN WILL OFT BE THE FAME. MANY WILL DIE DREADING THE NAME, SALAZAR SLYTHERIN. THE WORLD WILL HAVE BUT ONE HOPE AND THAT IS TWO CUBED TO EIGHT WITH HEALTH AND SIGHT AND SPIRIT BRIGHT, THE HEART AND SOUL AND MIND WILL ADD THEIR WEIGHT BUT ONLY WHEN THE FLAMING DAUGHTER AND THE MOONCHILD JOIN THE FRAY WILL THE WORLD DEFEAT EVIL AND RETURN SLYTHERIN TO HIS GRAVE"

When she finished speaking, Emily collapsed to the floor in an epileptic type of seizure. Kim was at a loss as to what to do as her friend violently gyrated on the floor, shaking and tossing about. Since Emily and Kim had been seated on the wall side of the Slytherin table, none of the members of other houses were aware of what had happened to Emily. Of course. Yet no one could hear her oh so deep and loud voice. Most were discussing what she had said, thinking she had perhaps fainted and would be attended to by staff. That was until Denise yelled to her cousin. "Dick! Hurry, you can't miss this," Denise shouted. "Zacherley is having some sort of fit, she's tossing and turning about on the floor. Her skirt is nearly up to her waist and she doesn't have any knickers on." 

And no word about the prophecy. Neil, your writing sucks! Also shows how basically everyone in Exposed!Hogwarts is a perv.  You would have thought that she had announced that Honeydukes was giving away free candy. Not only Dick, but also every other student in the Hall, both male and female, ran frantically to witness the sight. But Tyler was nearest and, despite the fact that Emily hated him, he didn't hesitate to run and throw his body on top of hers to obstruct the other students from viewing her. "Her breasts," Kim shouted in panic to Tyler. He had successfully succeeded in covering Emily's lower extremities with his body and was doing his utmost to maintain that coverage despite her gyrations, but now her breasts were also exposed. Not knowing what else to do, he quickly covered them with his hands. "Just what type of perversion is going on here?" Professor Malfoy said, looking down scornfully at the couple on the floor. End of Chapter 23

Of course on a cliffhanger again. 

As always, I would like to thank those of you who took the time to review. Without your reviews I doubt the original Hogwarts Exposed story would have ever been finished, yet alone become a series.

Thank you also to my wonderful betas: Amber, Paul, Peter and Matt.

....who missed out the Balla/Belle inconsistency during the court hearing. 

[amorremanet]

@apolloniae Okay, first: skffghfk, omg wow, thank you!! That means a lot, especially since this passage is all still early-ish in the writing process for me (like… it’s not as early as the borderline stream of consciousness first-person POV stuff that I was writing with this project last summer, but it’s still fairly early), and I consider it pretty rough still

THAT SAID. omg, dialogue is actually something I both love and dread writing, because I never feel like I have the best gauge on how much is enough or if I’m shoving in too much exposition with it or what, but! I have a couple things I rely on

Not-so-fun secret first: that particular section might be a pretty early draft, but I’ve still revised it something like four times, from jotting the initial idea down longhand, through the different typed versions of this scene that I’ve written (which have gotten changed around pretty significantly), and revisions help a lot with dialogue, in my experience. They can be anything from small stuff like figuring out a better word order but mostly keeping things the same, to taking a really sketchy outline (e.g., “A says something about B’s shoes, B thinks A is being rude and what is up with that, and C is just happy to be here, why can’t we all get along” or full on snatches of dialogue, but written in a way that doesn’t fit the characters) and building the scene up from there. Either way, revisions are a writer’s friend.

But, okay. Speaking more generally: the best place to start is just getting familiar with dialogue, both in real life and in fiction. You really do need both of these influences to write dialogue, because getting more familiar with how people speak IRL can help your dialogue feel realistic — and in some cases, it can be really important to have that verisimilitude, e.g. when you’re writing a bilingual or multilingual character and don’t want to fall into some of the more tired, unrealistic tropes of how multilingualism can manifest in people’s speech; and when you’re writing a deaf character (disclaimer that I’m not deaf, and this fic isn’t the be-all and end-all of how to do this well, but I really like the portrayals of Steve and Clint in, “Trump Diet” by caloriebomb on AO3, and they’re pretty well-researched and well-written portrayals of deaf characters).

On the other hand, though, only listening to how people talk IRL isn’t enough. You can learn a lot from that, for sure — especially when it comes to things like how people present themselves from situation to situation, and how their speech patterns or word choices can change in different contexts (from full-fledged code-switching, to more simple things like swapping in child-friendly substitutes for swear words when you’re with your godkids/younger sibling/grandma/whoever) — but you also need to look at how different techniques for writing dialogue work or don’t in order to figure out how to best present the dialogue so that it helps tell your story.

Different writers also have different strengths that you can learn from, e.g. JKR is really good at blending summaries of things the audience already knows into new scenes (like Harry witnessing the, “Snape brings Remus his Wolfsbane Potion” scene, then immediately running and telling Ron and Hermione), vs. Neil Gaiman’s ability to make dialogue read as realistic and natural even while his characters are talking about patently non-realistic things like magic and whatnot (which I think especially comes out in American Gods, but I’m biased because I’ve been rereading it in honor of the TV series starting), vs. the way that the late, great Terry Pratchett had of really making the dialects, accents, and so on a part of his characters, rather than something pasted on (JKR can also be good at that, but sometimes she goes a bit overboard). So, reading as much as you can is good, and paying attention to how the different writers use dialogue will help you write your own.

Unfortunately, a lot of dialogue-writing ends up being a, “play it by ear” sort of thing. You can easily overdo it with flowery dialogue tags, or repeating, “said” too much. Having too much action between bits of dialogue can bog down the scene, but not having enough can make it feel like nothing’s happening while these people talk (plus, what characters do or not during a conversation can help characterize them as much as, or arguably more than, what they say and how they say it).

One of the biggest pitfalls for a lot of writers is that we put too much dialogue in, usually focusing on the parts of conversations that don’t do anything to help show who the characters are or tell the story. Like, unless your characters have a particularly unique way of saying, “hello” (and showing that to the audience helps establish the characters for us), or there’s something important about how they answer questions like, “Nice day, isn’t it?” (e.g., the, “Wonderful weather this morning” / “Yes, but I always carry an umbrella” exchange from CATFA, because it’s not actually about the weather, but is the password into the secret SSR laboratory), or, “How’re you doing?” (e.g., your character is someone who doesn’t actually respond to that question with some variation on, “Fine, and you?”), then there’s a lot of dialogue that you can probably skip.

However, it can sometimes be difficult to tell where the too much/not enough line is, once you get past that — which really just goes back to the, “Revisions are your friend and you shouldn’t be afraid of them. They don’t mean you’re a bad writer; they’re a part of making your work stronger and telling your stories in the best ways for them” point.

Finally, though, the best rule of thumb is just knowing your characters. Knowing at least a few baseline things about where your characters come from and how they present themselves are helpful for finding their voices and keeping true to it in different scenarios. A character who excessively tries to mold themself according to what other people want them to be, or who unconsciously mirrors those around them, probably won’t have the same speech patterns as a character who doesn’t give a fuck what other people think of them, or who might give a fuck but is too tired/upset/intoxicated/whatever to censor themself effectively. Characters’ upbringings and backgrounds can also come out in their dialogue, so being (more or less) clear on them can be helpful.

One pretty classic example of these ideas is the trope where someone who’s going about in unfamiliar circles may be able to emulate other people’s behaviors, pick up the common speech patterns, verbal tropes, and lingo pretty well, and so on…… but still has a particular verbal tic or cadence to their speech that they can’t shake.

For instance, my Sebastian, from that passage, grew up in a wealthy family that would be minor nobility if the U.S. acknowledged that we totally have a de facto system of nobility (and his paternal grandparents often make a big deal out of how they’re descended from a legit, “Our ancestors earned their title as knights in the service of the King of France before certain well-to-do members of the Third Estate started buying their way up into our ranks, back before the glorious Ancien Régime was even a Thing” noblesse d’épée bloodline). He’s been around folks from a mix of different backgrounds during his time in school, and more so in his adult life, which has involved a lot of hijinks in places that would make his Grandparents go, “Good Heavens, why are you slumming it with the lower classes” before focusing on the actual issues like,, “Why on Earth were you dating an ecoterrorist” and, “Oh dear, our grandson who wanted to join the priesthood when he was a boy seems to have developed a serious problem with opiates”

Like, real talk? Roland and Cecile love their grandchildren, they really do. But when Sebastian went to rehab, they tried to push for sending him to a ridiculously expensive inpatient clinic in California with a huge, pedigreed list of celebrity clients because they thought of it as Rich People Rehab. The explanation, “No, okay? If I’m doing this, then I’m going to this place in Minnesota that exclusively hosts LGBTQ clients because I really don’t feel like I’ll be helped by potentially being around homophobic fellow patients and/or staff”…… was mostly met with blank stares that were the human equivalent of the, “buffering… buffering…” spinning wheel of doom, and the response, “…But going there will put you in treatment with the common rabble, why on Earth would you want that.”

Thankfully, Abe and Marceline, Seb’s parents, were nowhere near this bad — but that classism and the emphasis on how We Are From A Distinguished, Noble Bloodline, So Act Like It were still part of the atmosphere that Seb and his siblings were raised in. Their experiences in schooling moderated it a bit (though less so for, say, eldest brother Max, who went to Posh Boarding School for all four years of high school, then did his undergrad at Columbia and grad school at Harvard), and Seb got a lot of moderation by learning the hard way that sounding too posh in a decidedly not-posh environment is a dead giveaway that you don’t belong there and might get you mistaken for a Federal agent. But it’s hard to completely shake that posh upbringing, and it comes out sometimes in his phrasing, his word choices, etc.

On the other hand, though, Seb is also a human disaster in ways that affect his speech (…and he’s multilingual, but that doesn’t fall under the heading of, “human disaster things”). The trick with those parts of him — like his anxiety and how it kicks into overdrive in certain situations (like, when he’s talking to Stephen, his sponsor’s curatorial assistant, who Seb is crushing on) — is finding a balance where it’s part of his characterization but also doesn’t get completely impossible to read (like the mistake that some people make when writing characters with stutters, where they overdo it to the point that you can’t tell what the characters are saying, but because the writers didn’t do this on purpose, you’re expected to know what’s being said).

Anyway, I’m sorry this got kind of long, but I hope it helps a bit! Dialogue can be tough to work on, but you can learn a lot from experimenting with different ideas and techniques, and just continuing to work on it, even when you hate what you’re writing. ❤️