#J.J. Virgin

[rodentchild]

Make Some Noise prompts that will never make it on the show but I would love to see anyways:

Single Prompts:

Virgin sacrifice trying to flirt their way out of their situation

A lonely lovebug

A rednecks first day as a NASA engineer

The stand-in gymnast who was not told they were standing in for the Olympics

Professor who deeply wants people to ask about their wild college stories

Pair Prompts:

Bruce Wayne meets Wayne Bruce: Batman vs. Manbat

Night shift worker and their vampire bestie discuss ways of dealing with the sun

Superhero duo where one persons power cancels out the others

Essential workers during The Purge who just couldn't get the time off

The voice in the back of your head that thinks everything is a little treasure

Group Prompts:

Post-apocalyptic Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

J.J. Abrams remake of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

"Florida Man" Anonymous meeting

Cops crashing a party at their former frat house

Cutthroat Kitchen sabotages that get really personal

[hasellia]

YouTube Comment Archive:

Viking Whale: Ceadeus #shorts #monsterhunter by Azmeross

The bones that absolutely dwarfed Ceadeus in the fight lead up really let the imagination run wild. After Gen 4, pretty much any colossal bones before and after can be attributed to Dalamadur , which I feel like has really sucked a lot of the fun speculation and mystery of the bones ( J.J. Abrams, that's how you do a mystery box ). My inner MH3 fanboy wishes that there was some hint of "oh, that's just the dwarf subspecies, HERE'S A HINT OF AN ABYSSAL-COLOSSUS SUBSPECIES OF CEADEUS" I'll also say: MH may have the aesthetics of hunter-gatherer communities, but of the games I've played, MH3 is the one with the most indigenous fibre to it's being. Ceadeus captured that fibre, as well as the essence of single player MH3. The stakes were smaller, but more intimate. Moga really felt like your whole world, even with multiplayer and the Wyverian traders being there. So when the Legiacrus was slain, but the island was still in danger, it really felt like you were going to save the world from peril even if that world didn't extend beyond your immediate community. Then, when it came time to slay the world-ender, you spared it, and the two of parted ways amicably, with the Ceadeus doing a breach. It wasn't just reverence that the game gave to Whale-God, it was respect. (Tumblr Add on from here): It's a shame, then, that Monster Hunter World is a celebration of the colonisation of "untouched virgin land", that (I think?) Monster Hunter Wilds is a continuation of.

[lboogie1906]

Theodore Walter “Sonny” Rollins (September 7, 1930) leading jazz innovator was born in New York. He was raised by his grandmother who had migrated to the US from the Virgin Islands. He came of age in Harlem in the late 1940s and early 1950s where he was influenced by the remnants of the Harlem Renaissance and the WWII jazz era.

Music was significant in his household. His brother and sister both studied the violin and piano. He adopted the piano as his instrument. As new jazz forms became popular in the early 1940s, he began playing the alto saxophone at the age of 11 and progressed to the tenor saxophone by 1946. His inspiration came from jazz greats Louis Jordan, who played alto saxophone, and Coleman Hawkins, who played tenor saxophone.

He and his musician friends created their band and began experimenting with a new jazz style called bebop. By his 18th birthday, he developed a reputation in Harlem as a leading performer of bebop. In 1949, he made his recording debut with Babs Gonzales. In the same year, he recorded with J.J. Johnson and Bud Powell, the great bebop pianist. In the early 1950s, he worked with Miles Davis, who was a rising trumpet performer. He joined the Clifford Brown-Max Roach Quintet in 1955.

He continued to build his reputation as an innovative artist and an accomplished musician. His most successful album was Saxophone Colossus in 1956. The first album in which he used a trio of saxophones, drums, and double bass was called Way Out West and was released in 1957. He was recognized as the most innovative tenor saxophonist in jazz. In 1965 he wrote the film score for the movie Alfie. Twenty years later, he released his first solo recording, cleverly entitled Solo Album.

After more than a half-century as a jazz performer, he won his first Grammy Award in 2000 for his performance entitled This Is What I Do. In 2004, he won a second Grammy for the composition Without A Song and the Recording Academy’s Lifetime Achievement Award.

He continues to record and perform. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence

[mycsnavelyphotography]

Art History Through AI:

“Christ Meets Black Jesus”

"Black Jesus, my foot. That's Ned the Wino" – Thelma Evans (Good Times)

Artistic depictions of Christ in pre-Renaissance art reveal a trans-formative journey from symbolic representation to dynamic narrative scenes.​ Significant examples include Giotto di Bondone's works, which marked a departure from the Italo-Byzantine style by introducing more humanistic qualities to his subjects, emphasizing emotional depth and realism. Additionally, the Nativity scenes, such as those by Duccio, showcase Christ's birth with a focus on the Virgin Mary's experience, often depicted with idealized beauty and maternal grace. Common characteristics of these artworks include the use of halos, typically rendered in gold leaf, surrounding the heads of Christ and saints, serving as divine markers of holiness. Furthermore, the shift from the beardless, youthful representations of early Christian art to the bearded, authoritative images seen in later works, reflects evolving theological perspectives and cultural influences, establishing a recognizable iconography that endures to this day. These elements together illustrate the narrative intricacies and devotional functions of Christ's depictions in this artistic epoch.

​The portrayal of Christ in pre-renaissance European art underwent significant theological changes influenced by evolving understandings of his humanity and divinity.​ In late medieval and Renaissance Italy, there was a pronounced emphasis on the humanity of Christ, leading to representations that centered on his earthly experiences, particularly his birth and death, which reflect key aspects of Christian doctrine such as the Incarnation and resurrection. This perspective contrasted earlier traditions, which often depicted the miraculous elements of Christ's life, such as his miracles and teachings, showcasing a shift towards a more relatable and human representation of the Savior. Additionally, the official practices of the Western Church, starting from Pope Gregory the Great's time, valued images as both instructional and devotional tools, driving demand for scenes from Christ's life in various artistic forms. Ultimately, these theological developments not only enriched the iconography of Christ’s narrative but also encouraged artistic creativity within the constraints of traditional Church dictates, forming a unique blend of innovation and reverence in pre-renaissance European art. With cultural norms and spiritual needs ever changing, the artistic depictions of Christ can be controversial.

The modern debate surrounding the depiction of Jesus as a fair-skinned figure is deeply intertwined with historical and cultural contexts, raising issues of representation and identity. Critics argue that the portrayal of Jesus predominantly as white reinforces harmful narratives of white supremacy and undermines the historical reality of his Middle Eastern heritage, which is likely to have included a darker complexion. This discourse is reflected in various cultural mediums, including the Season One episode of the television show "Good Times," titled "Black Jesus," where J.J. Evans’ painting of a Black Jesus, which J.J. used the character of Ned the Wino as inspiration, serves as a symbol of hope and faith for his family amid struggles. The episode illustrates the significance of diverse representations of Jesus as a means of affirming the value and experiences of marginalized communities. ​This ongoing discussion highlights the need for more inclusive and accurate portrayals of Christ, urging a departure from traditional depictions that may not align with historical contexts or the experiences of diverse populations.

​Artists utilizing generative AI to create images can draw inspiration from pre-Renaissance characteristics found in European depictions of Christ by focusing on stylistic elements such as abstraction, symbolism, and religious motifs.​ To effectively prompt AI tools, artists might incorporate keywords like "iconography," emphasizing the use of symbols in religious contexts, as well as "flatness" to suggest a two-dimensional rather than realistic portrayal. Additionally, terms like "golden halo" and "sacred geometry" can evoke the transcendental aspects prevalent in early Christian art. By using phrases like "spiritual representation" and "divine light," artists can guide the generative process to reflect these historical influences, ensuring that their outputs resonate with the spiritual and artistic themes of the pre-Renaissance period while leveraging modern technology.

[sheetmusiclibrarypdf]

Sonny Rollins

Sonny RollinsBest Sheet Music download from our Library.Please, subscribe to our Library. Thank you!Sonny Rollins live 65' 68' - Jazz Icons DVD

Sonny Rollins

Tenor saxophone legend Sonny Rollins is without question one of the most important and influential jazz musicians and composers in history. His enduring career has made him both a hallmark of the bebop and hardbop eras and a great contemporary player—and a forefront of every jazz movement in between. Miles Davis himself considered Newk (a nickname inspired by his resemblance to the Brooklyn Dodgers' pitcher Don Newcombe) to be the greatest tenor saxophonist of all time. Sonny was born in New York City to parents from the US Virgin Islands. He received his first saxophone at age 13 but began his musicianship on the piano. He took up the alto saxophone in high school, during which time he played with Kenny Drew, Jackie McLean, and Art Taylor. After graduating, he switched to the tenor, and soon was picking up professional gigs. Sonny's first session was in January 1949 with vocalist Babs Gonzales and his orchestra; the date also had J.J. Johnson on it, with whom Sonny made his first combo recording as a sideman a few months later in May. Sonny instantly became a member of the jazz elite, recording with the biggest names on the scene like Kenny Dorham, Bud Powell, and Roy Haynes all within his first year. In the first years of the 1950s, he joined groups led by Tadd Dameron and Miles Davis; shortly thereafter, in January 1951, he had his first session as a leader (backed by Miles Davis on piano). Sonny made a major move in 1956 when he joined the Max Roach-Clifford Brown quintet. He paired up with Max Roach following the death of Clifford Brown and released albums with Roach for Prestige, Blue Note, Riverside, and Contemporary. In the late 1950s, Sonny released seminal albums like "Saxophone Colossus" (with Tommy Flanagan), "Tenor Madness" (with John Coltrane), and "Way Out West;" these, along with collaborations with Sonny Clark, the Modern Jazz Quartet, and Clark Terry firmly established him as a jazz superstar. He withdrew from the public eye between 1959 and 1961 to hone his craft, humbly noting that he felt he was "getting too much, too soon." He returned with "The Bridge," a collaboration with Jim Hall, in 1962; this release marked the beginning of his contract with RCA Records. The middle of the 1960s saw him collaborating with Don Cherry, Paul Bley, and his personal idol, Coleman Hawkins, but by the end, he left the business again for another sabbatical. He returned in the 1970s to sign with Milestone, a long association that yielded two dozen albums. By the 1980s, Sonny was producing his own material as well.

Sonny Rollins is the subject of the 1986 documentary Saxophone Colossus. He received his first Grammy award in 2000 for his album "This Is What I Do," another for his Best Solo Performance for his album "Without A Song: The 9/11 Concert" in 2006, and a Grammy award for lifetime achievement in 2004. He also holds an honorary Doctor of Music degree from the Julliard School. Find current news about Sonny Rollins at SonnyRollins.com.

Sonny Rollins live 65' 68' - Jazz Icons DVD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cneBpjwfxhg Live in Denmark, from the Jazz Icons DVD series Denmark 1965 00:00 There will never be another you 11:27 St. Thomas 23:58 I Can’t Get Started (intro) / Oleo / Sonnymoon for two 45:08 Darn that dream 47:31 Three Little Words . Denmark 1968 54:55 On green dolphin street 1:06:09 St. Thomas 1:16:35 Four 1965 set: Sonny Rollins - sax Niels Henning Ørsted Pedersen - bass Alan Dawson - drums 1968 set: Sonny Rollins - sax Niels Henning Ørsted Pedersen - bass Kenny Drew - piano Tootie Heath - drums Read the full article

[greensparty]

Green’s Party Guide to the 2023 Oscar Nominated Short Films

Every year the Academy Awards give out their annual movie awards, but all of the attention usually goes to the big categories. I am a longtime champion of the Short Film categories for Animation, Live Action and Documentary, mainly because I have made short films and I know how hard it can be to tell a story in a short amount of time. I am very excited to continue my annual tradition of showcasing the Oscar Nominated Short Films (read my 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, 2021 and 2022 guides).  This year’s nominated short films are available from ShortsTV both in theaters and online. I’ve watched all of them and here are my thoughts and predictions:

2023 Shorts TV poster

Best Live Action Short:

This year’s Live Action Short nominees are all from other countries. In addition to global diversity, they are all very diverse in genres too. In An Irish Goodbye  (Ireland), two estranged brothers reunite after the death of their mother. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the similarities to multi-Oscar nominee The Banshees of Inisherin, with it’s rural Ireland setting, humor, and drama. Ivalu (Denmark) is about a young Inuit girl searching for her missing sister against the breath-taking backdrop of Greenland. It is co-directed by Anders Walter who previously won an Oscar for Best Live Action Short for 2013′s Helium. Disney+’s The Pupils (Italy) is about girls at a Catholic boarding school during Christmas time. Of all the nominees this has gotten the most attention because it was produced by Oscar winner Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity and Roma) and if he wins for this that would be a 5th Oscar on his mantle. Night Ride (Norway) shows a woman with dwarfism who steal a tram and a series of unexpected events occur as she continues to make tram stops. In The Red Suitcase (Luxembourg), a young Iranian woman arrives in a new country for an arranged marriage and suddenly makes a life-changing decision. 

2023 Live Action Short Film nominees

Will Win: The Pupils has name recognition with Cuaron as a nominee, but it is also the most uplifting of this year’s nominees. The fact that it’s on Disney+ doesn’t hurt either.

Should Win: The Red Suitcase truly stayed with me for days after watching it. It told a highly emotional story with high stakes in a very short amount of time and left me in awe. 

Best Animated Short:

I always enjoy animated shorts because this category is always showcasing various styles of animation from all over the world. Apple TV+’s The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse (U.S. / U.K.) is based on a children’s book about, well, a boy, a mole, a fox and a horse who travel together in the boy’s search for a new home. This one boasts the star power of voices Tom Hollander, Idris Elba and Gabriel Byrne as well as star producers J.J. Abrams and Woody Harrelson. In The Flying Sailor (Canada), it shows a sailor who goes flying after an explosion (based on a true story from 1917). It is co-directed by Amanda Forbis, who was nominated twice before for Best Animated Short, and Wendy Tilby, who was nominated three times before for Best Animated Short. Ice Merchants (Portugal / France / U.K.) has been getting a lot of attention because it is the first Portuguese film to ever be nominated for an Oscar. It shows a father and son who jump with a parachute from their house to go to a village and sell ice. FX and Hulu’s My Year of Dicks (U.S.) is about a 15-year old girl who is determined to lose her virginity in early 90s Houston. Based on Pamela Ribon’s memoir, it is animated but has moments of live action interspersed as well. There are five different guys she is with in this time period and there’s different styles of animation throughout. In An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It (Australia), a telemarketer is confronted and told that the world is stop motion animation and now he needs to convince his colleagues. 

2023 Animated Short Film nominees

Will Win: The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse boasts star power and it’s on Apple TV+, but more than that, it feels like an animated feature in 32 minutes.

Should Win: I am rooting for The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and The Horse also because it was produced by someone I interned for a while back. But I will say this: a case can be made for My Year of Dicks for using animation to tell her personal recollection...and let’s face it, it would be wildly entertaining to see a presenter on the Oscar telecast say “and the winner is...My Year of Dicks” and not get censored. 

Best Documentary Short:

This year’s Doc Shorts are all completely different in their subjects and in their approaches to documentary. In Haulout (U.K.) a lonely man waits on a remote coast of the Siberian Arctic for an ancient gathering. There is a powerful environmental message to this, even if it is slow moving and has very little dialogue. Netflix’s The Elephant Whisperers (India) also has an environmental message in it to: an Indigenous couple fall in love with an orphaned elephant and work for his survival. Both have breath-taking cinematography! HBO Max’s How Do You Measure a Year? (U.S.) is a doc 17 years in the making: The director had a ritual with his daughter Ella every year on her birthday from age 2 to 18, he filmed an interview with her being asked the exact same questions each year. Director Jay Rosenblatt was nominated for Best Documentary Short last year for When We Were Bullies, my favorite of last year’s nominees. Netflix’s The Martha Mitchell Effect  (U.S.) is a historical doc about Martha Mitchell, the whistleblower who was married to President Nixon’s attorney general John N. Mitchell. She was gaslighted by the Nixon Administration to keep her quiet and today through the lens of 2023, we see she was speaking the truth even though she was told otherwise. The New Yorker’s Stranger at the Gate (U.S.) is about a U.S. Marine who plots a terrorist attack on a mosque in Muncie, Indiana. But in the process of doing so, a surprising turn of events occur for all involved.

2023 Documentary Short Film nominees

Will Win: This is a hard one to predict. Sometimes the Academy goes for environmental or socio-political subjects, but recent years it has been introspective human interest stories. A case could literally be made for any of these to win, but if I had to predict I’d go with The Elephant Whisperers. It had the backing of Netflix, but more importantly it’s cinematography can’t be denied and neither than the endearing story.

Should Win: Even if the haters are going to say How Do You Measure a Year? is just a gimmick, I really liked it. Sure, we’ve seen this approach in the Up series and to an extent Boyhood did something similar in it’s narrative approach, but the way we are seeing this girl grow and mature through the annual interview tradition was intriguing and introspective. I do have to say a close second would be Stranger at the Gate based solely on the unbelievable twist and sense of surprise you don’t always see in documentaries. 

This year’s Oscar Nominated Short Films can be seen online from ShortsTV and in movie theaters, including Somerville Theatre, Landmark Kendall Square Cinema and Coolidge Corner Theatre in the Boston area. For tickets and info: https://shorts.tv/theoscarshorts/tickets/

[just-animaxiz]

Here are some facts about the characters!

Starting off with Snippy!

Snippy goes by many nicknames, but his real name is Sinohellum.

He is said to be a warrior among the skies, the beast who burns himself, and the cannibal who eats sinners.

In short, he is parallel to Nibbly!

And if he ever met Nibbly, he would be the annoying big brother.

In his human form, he has two strange features. One is a crack on his face. It is due to how unstable his form can be. The other is that one of his hands is a giant gaunlet with claws. That is because in his entity form, Snippy has a large clawed hand that can pierce his snacks and slice them in half.

Snippy loves to eat anything with a great sin. His eyes go big when the scent of someone who had done unpredictable, unforgivable, and misguided sins grew stronger. And when they think they can escape, they hear his screech.

And that's what made them even tastier. The blood rushing, the adrenaline, the amygdala getting bigger and bigger... Ohohoho - A three-course meal... His favorite.

At the same time, he is protective of people who he viewed as a pure heart. Even when there are cracks due to trauma, fear, and unsureness. If anything, he would help them brace their anger against their oppressors.

In Clivesdale, it is said that Snippy keeps children safe from danger, and they keep a figurine of him as a ward to warn upcoming threats.

Strangely enough, Snippy's even protective of his Lord brothers, as well.

Snippy prefers blood sacrifices that doesn't involve the word "Virgin" in them. He doesn't get why Virgin sacrifices are there at all, and he much prefers something to eat than to fuck. Beside - That's Loggy's thing.

In the meantime, Snippy has a small cult of his own: punk-like Snigglies who have the same chaotic energy as him.

He does have a little spy in the other town, Hatchetfield.... Mainly his favorite person is a football player with a tainted heart and is a passive pleaser. The name? Jason Jepson

Quotes:

"From the Depths of Unworld, to the Clouded skies from above, we came to aid the people as long as they -- AAARGH. This shit is boring! Ok blah blah blah - We came to help - Blah blah blah - Don't ask for stupid shit, m'kay?"

"Does anyone want a killer's heart? No? Pass? More for me, then!"

"J.J - You seriously acting like this? That guy your runny mouth called "Boss" is chasing after the girl your heart called "Love" - And all you can think about is kissing his feet in silent? HAH! Hilarious...."

"Do you ever wonder how tasty your insides are? Well, I'm not picky, but if they taste like rotting, gooey, unsavory sin.... Then you'll die :)"

Hi, I got really into your Hatchetfield Ocs, and I was wondering of you'd ever go in-depth with them

[SNATCHES MY OCS]

OKIE! ITS BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE I HAD THEM BUT I STILL REMEMBER!

Ahem!

Once upon a time, in a small, recently built town with no name, the Civil War happened from afar. Many men left to fight, leaving grieving families and friends behind. In the midst of their grief, a strange phenomenon happened. The moon shifted into seven phases each day, and at the end of the week, a star shower happened. One star landed near the town, and locals discovered a star-shaped craft hidden in the dirt. They claimed superstitution and devil's work, but three curious children experimented with the craft and chanted five names engraved on the surface.

Puppy. The Echoing Twins of Joy.

Leely. The Eight-eyed Lilac Butterfly

Raggy. The Orange Sea of Youth.

Snippy. The Blazing Screech of Midnight.

And Loggy. The Hart of the Lords.

They introduced themselves as The Lords, and they came to grant the town's desires and hopes, one including their soldiers coming back from war.

THE ONLY PRICE IS THAT THEY MUST LISTEN TO THEIR WORDS AS THEY RULE THEIR TOWN.

The town, desperate for the survival of their people, agreed and the lords granted them their heavenly wishes; however, there is an unspoken price.

The lords do not take kindly to the discord of their town, from abuse to manipulation. One time, a foolish mortal tested their warnings and damaged one of the Lords' personal habitat. As a result, the fool never appeared the day after, but the town knew and so they must respect their words.

The Lords are not monsters - No. They cared more about their people and wanted the best for them. They even set up a protective barrier in case outside forces wanted to hurt them. In return, the town lived in harmony, and a name finally established their forever home.

Clivesdale

Now next reblog are small facts about the characters!

[elbiotipo]

wtf The Mandalorian is so good how can this be

“Directed by David Filoni”

ah I see now

[nctsplug02]

Can I request something with innocent school boy Jaehyun and bad girl y/n? :)

Anyone but him // j.j

genre: smut, fluff

a/n: it’s just a short story about how people don’t like how you’re dating an innocent boy when you’re the schools bad girl. one night things get a little heated between you two.

a/n: the bonus scene was just a switch up. ;)

——

Everyday people talked about you and jaehyuns relationship, how he should leave you since you’re a bad influence on him. Everyone talked and talked, it didn’t even matter if you were near, they wanted you to listen in.

“Look, there she is.” One girl pointed to you. “The one who’s dating the innocent boy? Oh, my god what a slut.” They giggled and geeked over you when you walked by them. You rolled your eyes and continued to walk away from them.

You got near the entrance of the school, getting ready to leave when jaehyun stops you. “Are we still meeting up after school?” You nod with a small smile. “Okay, great. I’ll bring some snacks so maybe after studying we can watch some movies!” He sounded excited. “Sounds good, baby. Do you want a ride home?” He shakes his head.

“That’s okay, I’ll just walk home today. My mom says it’s good for me.” You melted, he was always a mommas boy.

——

Jaehyun laughs and tries to process what you said. “So, what do you say? Are you in?” He shakes his head but quickly nods. “No— I—I mean yes!” You got in your knees and kneeled in front of him. “Just be still for me, baby—, and loud, I’d love to hear how you sound.” You wink, reaching over to his zipper and unzipping it.

You look up to see if you could find any discomfort on his face but there seemed to be none, he seemed… comfortable but nervous?

“Don’t be nervous, baby. I’ll be gentle, I will stop whenever you want me to.” He nods and swallows the huge nervous lump in his throat. “Lift your hips for me… good boy.” He lifts his hip, which helps you easily slide his sweats done his legs to his ankle. “Already listening to me, such a good boy. I think you deserve a little treat for that.”

You pull his briefs off and boom, his hard cock springs free. It was standing up high and proud in the air, it shocked you a bit.

He lets out a little moan when you wrap your fingers around his thick length. “My god, my baby boy is so hard for me,” you smear the precum on his tip before slapping his cock on your tongue. “The sexist cock I’ve ever seen.” You bite your lip and then swirling your tongue on his head.

“Be loud for me, baby. I wanna hear those sexy sounds pour out of your mouth as I suck your dick.” You giggle and take him in your mouth, fully.

His hips buck as you do, his hips stuttering to stay still as you slobbered all over him. “Mm— fuck, you taste so fucking good.” You moan before pushing yourself back down on his saliva covered dick.

Your precious baby boy was a virgin, he didn’t know that he was cumming. He soon knew that he came by you explaining to him and showing him the cum on your chin.

“I—I’m, uh I’ll go get napkins.” He tries to stand up but you quickly sit him back down. “I’m okay, no need for napkins, it’ll be just a waste.” You scoop the cum on your chin and licking it clean off your finger.

A shiver trickles down jaehyuns spine as he watches you suck your finger clean, he was getting turned on again. And before he knew it, your fingers ended up in his mouth.

— bonus scene —

Jaehyun smacks your ass. “Count, don’t make me wait, kitten.” You whimper leaves your lips as he smacks your ass. “O—one!” He laughs and shakes his head. “What a dummy, guess kitten doesn’t get to cum tonight.” Jaehyun teased with a smugged smirk.

a/n: I’ve been on vacation for the past few days and i kept forgetting to post, I’m very very sorry!

[omg-im-such-a-masochist]

Headcannons Masterlist

Soft Updates: Once A Month

One Shots/Series Fics Masterlist: Here

WWE AND AEW

ROMAN REIGNS:

Plus Size Reader

Birthday Edition

Sub! Roman w/ Plus Size Mistress

Public Sex

DD/LG

Hair Kink

Playroom Details

Fighting and Make up Sex

Face fucking

“The Missionary Position“

Taking Care Of A Sick SO

Summerslam

Tribal Chief and Bálor Contest

DD/LG Fluff

ALEISTER/MALAKAI BLACK:

SFW/NSFW (Aleister)

Dad!Edition - Baby Girl (Aleister)

Goth Reader (Aleister)

Jealousy (Aleister)

Comfort - SFW (Aleister)

Sexting (Aleister)

First Time Meeting The Doc (Malakai)

Smut (Malakai)

Plus Size Insecure Reader (Malakai)

Possessiveness (Malakai)

Stripper Reader

Stripper Reader Pt. 2

Dad!Edition (Malakai)

Accidently calling him Tommy

When He Falls In Love With His Psychiatrist/Reader (Malakai)

Calling Him “Daddy” For The First Time (Malakai)

Corruption Kink w/ Priest Malakai

Corruption Kink w/ Priest Malakai Pt. 2

NSFW

Reaction To You Getting Injured

Comforting

HOB resident pet fuck

 JAY WHITE:

CNC Knife Play

OnlyFans

Voice Kink

Brat Taming

Cheering Bee up

Teasing

AU!Businessman Jay

DD/LG

Overstimulation/Forced Orgasm

Pregnancy Sex

After Forbidden Door

Student!Jay / Professor! Reader

Plus Size Reader

Aftercare

Teasing with a cock ring

Frat Brother ft. ELP

J.J.

Incubus

EL PHANTASMO:

Insecure Reader

Frat Brother ft. Jay White

DAVID FINLAY:

Soft!

DAMIAN PRIEST:

NSFW

SFW

Male Reader

Male Reder NSFW

NSFW Honeymoon!Edition

When You Win A Championship

Asking You To Be His Girlfriend

Trans Male/Female Reader

Dad!Edition Part 1

Dad!Edition Part 2

Period Edition

Tickle Fetish And Kinks

Jealousy

Praise Kink

DD/LG

DD/LG Relationship

Angry But Passionate Sex

Short Reader

Sub!Edition

Teasing NSFW

Comfort (SFW)

Comfort (NSFW)

Sexting

Non Binary Reader

Singer Reader

Living Together

Underwear

Wheelchair Bound Reader

Public Teasing

Mirror Kink

Going To Sleep

Babysitting

Black Plus Size Reader

Dating Someone From Wardrobe Department

Fingering

Domestic Edition

Voice Kink

Reader Who’s Insecure About Her Vagina

Reader’s Water Breaking + Home Birth

Shower Sex

Riding him + the risk of getting caught

Reader with an abusive relationship in the past

Squirting

Submissive Reader

Losing Your Virginity

Being His Masseuse

Celebrating His United States Title

Casual Intimacy

Pregnancy Sex

Quickie In The Pool

Stripper Reader

Sweaty/Smut

Impact Play Knowledge

Curvy Girl Lingerie

Fall/Halloween

Damian x Reader x Rhea 

Soft and Reassuring

Single Mom Reader

Breeding Kink

Magic Mike! Damian

Creative Way To Tell Him You’re Pregnant

Spanish

Angsty Sex

PDA

Random Theme

Actress Reader who’s part of the cast of The Witcher

Winter Honeymoon

Cockwarming

Sleeping during sex

Michael Myers Kink - gone wrong lol

Hair

Valentine’s Day - Stripper Reader and AU!Bouncer

NSFW with Edge and Reader

FINN BÁLOR:

Demon King Edition

Biting Kink

“Submissive“ Demon King

Tickling 

Shy Reader

Teasing

Sexting

Smutty/Fluff

Face Fucking

Voice Kink

Super Horny And Tries To Tease The Reader

Knife Play

Pregnancy Sex

Reader’s Reaction To His Promo on SmackDown Against Roman

Brat Taming (Prince Devitt)

Bálor and Tribal Chief Contest

Black Tongue

Ask Drabble 

DD/LG

Dirty Talk w/ Demon King

ETHAN PAGE:

Enemies To Lovers

Smut

EDGE:

NSFW with Damian and Reader

JAY BRISCOE:

Brat taming

“Make her cum with your tongue, put her sleep with your dick“

DEXTER LUMIS:

NSFW

SFW

DREW MCINTYRE:

Breeding Kink

Claymore

Mafia Boss

RANDY ORTON:

NSFW

Mood Board HC

RHEA RIPLEY (F/F):

NSFW

SFW

Dirty Talk

When You Get Injured

Cooking

Angry Rhea/Teasing

BECKY LYNCH (F/F):

Celebrating after Summerslam

TOMMASO CIAMPA:

NSFW

SFW

Sub!Edition

DD/LG

Jealous

Sexting

Reader Calling Him Daddy For The First Time

Birthday Sex

Comforting When A Family Member Passes Away

Cozy/Comfort

Rough Sex

After winning the NXT title back

Halloween Smut

Angsty Sex

DARBY ALLIN:

Soft/SFW

Riding Him

Rough Sex

Possessive/Breeding Kink

Soft and NSFW

JON MOXLEY:

Plus Size Reader Fluff

Comforting After a Break Up

With A Stripper Reader

EDDIE KINGSTON:

NSFW

SFW

Dad!Edition (Baby Girl)

Dad!Edition (Baby Boy)

Dad! Edition (Teenage Girl)

Siblings w/ Mox

Uncle Edition

When A Woman Hit On You

When A Man Hit On You

Husband Edition

Pregnancy

Plus Size Reader

Jealous Reader

PDA

Comfort

Nurse Reader

Virgin Reader

General Kinks

Riding Him

Movie Date

His Reaction To When Someone Sees Your NSFW Videos

Comforting Him

Fighting And Making Up

Shy/Introvert Reader

Giving Head To Female Reader

The Reason Behind The Nickname “Fox”

Tooth Extraction

Sick Reader

Make up Sex

First Night In New Home

Pregnancy Sex

His Reaction To Your Celebrity Crush

Dirty Talk

Fingering

Cuddling

Dad!Part 2

ADAM PAGE:

Student x Teacher

Dirty Talk

Jealousy

Angsty Sex

Sneaky Sex

Spoiling

Cockwarming

Professor Hangman - Blowjob 

Professor Hangman - Jealous

Professor Hangman - Jealous 2

CHUCK TAYLOR:

NSFW

SFW

BARON CORBIN:

Reader With Panic Attack

NSFW

THE SHIELD:

Predator and Prey

Roommates NSFW/SFW

MATT JACKSON:

Brat Taming

How he treats a sensitive Sub

Flirting with The Elite in front of him

“Where Do You Think You’re Going?“

Random Prompt

With Plus Size Reader

Feral Matt

Sexual Punishments

Needy Matt

Cocky

Vampire!Matt

Poppy

Vampire!Matt 2

NICK  JACKSON:

Plus Size Reader

Jealousy/slight smut

Sexual Punishments

Enemies To Lovers

Poppy

KENNY OMEGA:

Reader Caught Masturbating

Virgin Brat

WARDLOW:

Male Reader

Pet Name

Professor!Wardlow

OnlyFans

Finding Out That You’re Pregnant

Celebration after winning a championship

Celebration after winning a championship pt.2

CASH WHEELER

Pregnancy

ELIAS SAMSON:

Blindfolded NSFW

Jealous Elias In The Club

CODY RHODES:

Office Edition

TRIPLE H:

SFW/NSFW

Breeding Kink

COLT COBANA:

SFW/NSFW

SHEAMUS:

NSFW/SFW

JOHNNY GARGANO:

NSFW

MJF:

NSFW

Shower Sex

Soft for his SO

PETE DUNNE:

Agressive Make Out

Con Non-Con

MUSTAFA ALI:

Single Mother Reader

SETH ROLLINS:

Kidnapping

AUSTIN GUNN:

Smut

Fluff

JUNGLE BOY:

Smut

Taking Care Of A Sick SO

DD/LG

Jeans

Hate Fuck

SAMMY GUEVERA:

Photo Prompt

Sammy x Reader x Ethan

Sammy x Alan 5 Angels x Reader

JEFF HARDY:

Fluff/Smut

POLYAMOROUS:

Johnny Gargano/Tommaso Ciampa/Reader

Jon Moxley/Eddie Kingston/Reader

Matt Jackson/Nick Jackson/Reader

EXCEPTIONS (SPECIAL REQUESTS):

Kane NSFW  (to ava-valerie)

Undertaker DD/LG (to ava-valerie)

[gacha-gods-hate-me]

Izumi is all like ‘Curry is very diverse’ and it is but it would be so funny if she was on an episode of freaky eaters 💀💀💀😭 and then someone broke down in tears crying

Izumi: guys curry is really good this isn’t an addiction.

Taichi: DIRECTOR PLEASE STOP YOUR TEARING THIS FAMILY APART 😭😭😢😨😱😖

Itaru: we’re going to stop this with the help of doctor Mike dow and J.J Virgin

[tigresslanzhu]

Woman: Hi! We’re J.J. Virgin and Dr. Mike Dow! Your family and your boss say you eat only cheddar garlic biscuits for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and we’re here to get you to stop!

Artica: MR. MOON, GET IN HERE AND TELL THESE TWO THAT I EAT OTHER THINGS TOO!

In case you haven’t noticed, my newest television obsession is Freaky Eaters, in which people reach out to J.J. And Mike to eat more then just one desired food!

[collectorscorner]

CC New Arrivals @ Collectors Corner : Wednesday 10/6/21

Collectors Corner Parkville - HQ : OPEN for IN STORE SHOPPING with Strong Safety Measures in Place (Hand Sanitizing Stations, Masks Encouraged for All) - 1-410-668-3353.

CC Parkville - 2020/2021 STORE HOURS, Sunday 12-6, Mon-Tues 12-7, Wed 9-8, Thurs 11-7, Friday & Saturday 11-8

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CC Bel Air - 2020/2021 STORE HOURS, Sunday 11-5, Monday/Tuesday - Closed, Wednesday 11-8, Thursday 11-7, Friday/Saturday 11-8

Complete list of items shipping to the stores, some items may be limited in availability. If you see anything you want to purchase on the list and are not a subscription member at Collectors Corner, just contact us and let us know if you want an item held at the stores.

Email - collectorscornermd@comcast.net

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PUBLISHER/TITLE/PRICE

ABLAZE Cimmerian Beyond The Black River #1 (Cover A Clara Tessier), $3.99 Cimmerian Beyond The Black River #1 (Cover B Anthony Jean), $3.99 Cimmerian Beyond The Black River #1 (Cover C Breno Tamura), $3.99 Cimmerian Beyond The Black River #1 (Cover D Fritz Casas), $3.99 Cimmerian Beyond The Black River #1 (Cover E Blank Variant), $10.00Cimmerian Beyond The Black River #1 (Cover F Clara Tessier Virgin Variant), AR

ABSTRACT STUDIOS Serial #7, $3.99

ACTION LAB ENTERTAINMENT Hath No Fury #1, $3.99

AFTERSHOCK COMICS Almost American #2, $3.99 Chicken Devil #1 (Cover A Hayden Sherman), $4.99 Chicken Devil #1 (Cover B David Lopez), AR Seven Swords #4, $3.99

AHOY COMICS Happy Hour TP, $16.99 Snelson #3 (Of 5), $3.99

AMERICAN MYTHOLOGY PRODUCTIONS American Mythology Monsters Volume 2 #2 (Cover A Neil Vokes), $3.99 Living Corpse Relics #3 (Encore Edition)(Cover A Buz Hasson & Ken Haeser), $3.9 Willy’s Wonderland Prequel #1 (Cover A Buz Hasson & Ken Haeser), $3.99

ARCHIE COMIC PUBLICATIONS Archie Showcase Digest #5 (Archie World Tour), $7.99 Archie Halloween Spectacular #1 (2021), $2.99

AWA STUDIOS Out #1 (Cover A Tim Bradstreet), $3.99 Out #1 (Cover B Mike Deodato Jr.), $3.99 Redemption TP, $9.99

BLACK MASK COMICS Destiny NY #6, $3.99 Everfrost #4 (Of 4), $3.99

BLACKBOX COMICS Shi no Kage TP, $14.99

BOOM! STUDIOS Abbott 1973 TP, $17.99 Buffy The Vampire Slayer #30 (Cover A Frany), $3.99 Buffy The Vampire Slayer #30 (Cover B Vasco Georgiev Multiversus Variant), $3.99 Buffy The Vampire Slayer #30 (Cover C Frany Virgin Variant), AR Buffy The Vampire Slayer #30 (Cover D Junggeun Yoon), AR Buffy The Vampire Slayer #30 (Cover E Vasco Georgiev Multiversus Virgin Variant), AR Magic #7 (Cover A Qistina Khalidah), $4.99 Magic #7 (Cover B C.F. Villa), $4.99 Magic #7 (Cover C1 Jakub Rebelka Hidden Planeswalker Chandra Variant), $4.99 Magic #7 (Cover C2 Jakub Rebelka Hidden Planeswalker Chandra Black & White Virgin Variant), $4.99 Magic #7 (Cover C3 Jakub Rebelka Hidden Planeswalker Chandra Virgin Variant), $4.99 Magic #7 (Cover D Ig Guara Character Design Variant), AR Magic #7 (Cover E Christian Ward), AR Magic #7 (Cover F Christian Ward Virgin Variant), AR Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover A InHyuk Lee), $3.99 Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover B Eleonora Carlini Legacy Variant), $3.99 Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover C InHyuk Lee Virgin Variant), AR Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover D Eleonora Carlini Legacy Virgin Variant), AR Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover E Rian Gonzales), AR Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover F Javier Fernandez Reveal Variant), AR Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover G Javier Fernandez Reveal Virgin Variant), AR Mighty Morphin #12 (Cover H Rian Gonzales Virgin Variant), AR

CALIBER ENTERTAINMENT Deadworld Archives Volume 9 TP, $12.99 H.P. Lovecraft Beyond The Wall Of Sleep GN, $9.99

COMIC SHOP NEWS Comic Shop News #1781, AR

DARK HORSE COMICS Apex Legends Overtime #3 (Of 4)(Cover A David Nakayama), $3.99 Gantz Omnibus Volume 7 TP, $24.99 Last Flight Out #2 (Of 6)(Cover A Eduardo Ferigato), $3.99 Lucky Devil #3 (Of 4)(Cover A Fran Galan), $3.99 Triumph Of The Wizard King The Wizard King Trilogy Volume 3 TP, $12.99 Vampire Hunter D Omnibus Volume 1 TP, $19.99 Worst Dudes #5 (Of 5)(Cover A Tony Gregori), $3.99

DC COMICS Are You Afraid Of Darkseid #1 (One Shot)(Cover A Dan Hipp), $9.99 Are You Afraid Of Darkseid #1 (One Shot)(Cover B TK), $9.99 Arkham City The Order Of The World #1 (Of 6)(Cover A Sam Wolfe Connelly), $3.99 Arkham City The Order Of The World #1 (Of 6)(Cover B Francesco Mattina Card Stock Variant), $4.99 Arkham City The Order Of The World #1 (Of 6)(Cover C Steve Beach Black & White Card Stock Variant), AR Batman #114 (Cover A Jorge Jimenez)(Fear State)), $4.99 Batman #114 (Cover B Jorge Molina Card Stork Variant)(Fear State), $5.99 Batman #114 (Cover C Dylan Teague Card Stock Variant)(Fear State), AR Batman Curse Of The White Knight TP, $24.99 Batman Detective Comics Volume 6 Road To Ruin HC, $24.99 Batman The Adventures Continue Season II #5 (Of 7)(Cover A Jamal Campbell), $3.99 Batman The Adventures Continue Season II #5 (Of 7)(Cover B Juni Ba Card Stock Variant), $4.99 Crush And Lobo #5 (Of 8)(Cover A Sweeney Boo), $3.99 Crush And Lobo #5 (Of 8)(Cover B Brian Stelfreeze Card Stock Variant), $4.99 DC Horror Presents Soul Plumber #1 (Of 6)(Cover A John McCrea), $3.99 DC Horror Presents Soul Plumber #1 (Of 6)(Cover B Tom Neeley Card Stock Variant), $4.99 DC Horror Presents Soul Plumber #1 (Of 6)(Cover C Riley Rossmo Card Stock Variant), AR DC Horror Presents The Conjuring The Lover #5 (Of 5)(Cover A Bill Sienkiewicz), $3.99 DC Horror Presents The Conjuring The Lover #5 (Of 5)(Cover B Ryan Brown Movie Poster Card Stock Variant), $4.99 Deathstroke By Christopher Priest Omnibus HC, $150.00 Joker Presents A Puzzlebox #3 (Of 7)(Cover A Chip Zdarsky), $4.99 Joker Presents A Puzzlebox #3 (Of 7)(Cover B William Reilly Brown Card Stock Variant), $5.99 Justice League Infinity #4 (Of 7)(Cover A James Stokoe), $3.99 MAD Magazine #22 (Cover A Jason Edmiston), $5.99 Nice House On The Lake #5 (Of 12)(Cover A Alvaro Martinez Bueno), $3.99 Nice House On The Lake #5 (Of 12)(Cover B David Lafuente Card Stock Variant), $4.99 Sensational Wonder Woman Volume 1 TP, $16.99 Swamp Thing #8 (Of 10)(Cover A Mike Perkins), $3.99 Swamp Thing #8 (Of 10)(Cover B Francesco Mattina Card Stock Variant), $4.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover A Yanick Paquette), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover B Will Murai Film Inspired Variant), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover C Cat Staggs Television Inspired Variant), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover D Bruce Timm Animation Inspired Variant), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover E Jen Bartel Costume Celebration Wraparound Variant), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover F Amy Reeder Golden Age Variant), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover G Michael Cho Silver Age Variant), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover H Travis Moore Bronze Age Variant), $9.99 Wonder Woman 80th Anniversary 100-Page Super Spectacular #1 (One Shot)(Cover I Cliff Chiang Modern Age Variant), $9.99

DYNAMITE ENTERTAINMENT Jennifer Blood #1 (Cover A Lucio Parrillo), $3.99 Jennifer Blood #1 (Cover B Joseph Michael Linsner), $3.99 Jennifer Blood #1 (Cover C Lesley Leirix Li), $3.99 Jennifer Blood #1 (Cover D Junggeun Yoon), $3.99 Jennifer Blood #1 (Cover E Rachel Hollon Cosplay Variant), $3.99 Red Sonja #1 (2nd Printing Mirka Andolfo Cover)(not verified by Diamond, $3.99 Red Sonja #2 (Cover A Mirka Andolfo), $3.99 Red Sonja #2 (Cover B Jay Anacleto), $3.99 Red Sonja #2 (Cover C Joseph Michael Linsner), $3.99 Red Sonja #2 (Cover D Erica D’Urso), $3.99 Red Sonja #2 (Cover E Tabitha Lyons Cosplay Variant), $3.99 Red Sonja #2 (Cover F Mirka Andolfo Black & White Variant), AR Red Sonja #2 (Cover G Mirka Andolfo Black & White Virgin Variant), AR

HEAVY METAL MAGAZINE Chasing The Dragon TP, $19.99 Intrusion #1 (One Shot)(Cover A Daniel Govar), $6.99 Intrusion #1 (One Shot)(Cover B Marco Lorenzana), AR Modern Frankenstein TP, $19.99

HUMANOIDS Swine TP, $19.99

IDW PUBLISHING Marvel Action Origins #4 (Of 5)(Cover A Lanna Souvanny), $4.99 Marvel Action Origins #4 (Of 5)(Cover B Lanna Souvanny), $4.99 Marvel Action Origins #4 (Of 5)(Cover C Agnes Garbowska), AR Star Trek Year Five #25 (Cover A Stephen Thompson), $4.99 Star Trek Year Five #25 (Cover B J.J. Lendl), AR Star Wars Adventures Ghost Of Vader’s Castle #3 (Of 5)(Cover A Francesco Francavilla), $3.99 Star Wars Adventures Ghost Of Vader’s Castle #3 (Of 5)(Cover B Derek Charm), $3.99 Star Wars Adventures Ghost Of Vader’s Castle #3 (Of 5)(Cover C Francesco Francavilla), AR Star Wars Adventures Smuggler’s Run TP, $9.99 Star Wars The High Republic Adventures #9 (Cover A Harvey Tolibao), $3.99 Star Wars The High Republic Adventures #9 (Cover B Megan Levens), AR

IMAGE COMICS Ascender Volume 4 Star Seed TP, $12.99 Echolands #1 (2nd Printing J. H. Williams III Cover A), $4.99 Echolands #1 (2nd Printing J. H. Williams III Cover B), AR Fire Power By Kirkman And Samnee #16 (Cover A Chris Samnee & Matthew Wilson), $3.99 Hey Kids Comics Volume 2 Prophets And Loss #6 (Of 6)(Cover A Howard Chaykin), $3.99 Inkblot Volume 2 TP, $16.99 Me You Love In The Dark #3 (Of 5)(Cover A Jorge Corona), $3.99 Nocterra Volume 1 Full Throttle Dark TP, $9.99 Righteous Thirst For Vengeance #1 (Cover A Andre Lima Araujo & Chris O’Halloran), $3.99 Righteous Thirst For Vengeance #1 (Cover B Bengal), $3.99 Righteous Thirst For Vengeance #1 (Cover C Farel Dalrymple), $3.99 Righteous Thirst For Vengeance #1 (Cover D Sanford Greene), AR Righteous Thirst For Vengeance #1 (Cover E Tula Lotay), AR Righteous Thirst For Vengeance #1 (Cover F Rafael Albuquerque), AR Silver Coin Volume 1 TP, $16.99 Ultramega By James Harren Volume 1 TP, $19.99 Walking Dead Deluxe #24 (Cover A David Finch & Dave McCaig), $3.99 Walking Dead Deluxe #24 (Cover B Tony Moore & Dave McCaig), $3.99 Walking Dead Deluxe #24 (Cover C Julian Totino Tedesco), $3.99 Walking Dead Deluxe #24 (Cover D David Finch Comic Shops Variant), $3.99

KENZER AND COMPANY Knights Of The Dinner Table #287, $6.99

KODANSHA COMICS Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Volume 10 GN, $10.99

MARVEL COMICS Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover A Arthur Adams), $5.99 Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover B Patrick Gleason Webhead Variant), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover C Ron Frenz), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover D Ron Lim), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover E Skottie Young), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover F InHyuk Lee), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover G Alex Ogle), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover H Steve Ditko Hidden Gem Variant), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover I InHyuk Lee Virgin Variant), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover J Joe Jusko Marvel Masterpieces Variant), AR Amazing Spider-Man #75 (Cover K Iban Coello Stormbreakers Venomized Variant), AR Avengers Tech-On #3 (Of 6)(Cover A Eiichi Shimizu), $3.99 Avengers Tech-On #3 (Of 6)(Cover B Peach Momoko), AR Captain Marvel #33 (Cover A Iban Coello), $3.99 Captain Marvel #33 (Cover B Gerald Parel Spoiler Teaser Variant), AR Captain Marvel #33 (Cover C Joe Jusko Marvel Masterpieces Variant), AR Champions #10 (Cover A Toni Infante), $3.99 Dark Ages #2 (Of 6)(Cover A Iban Coello), $3.99 Dark Ages #2 (Of 6)(Cover B Meghan Hetrick), AR Dark Ages #2 (Of 6)(Cover C Bryan Hitch), AR Dark Ages #2 (Of 6)(Cover D Ryan Stegman), AR Darkhold Alpha #1 (Cover A Greg Smallwood), $4.99 Darkhold Alpha #1 (Cover B Superlog), AR Darkhold Alpha #1 (Cover C Greg Smallwood), AR Deadpool Black White And Blood #3 (Of 4)(Cover A Kev Walker), $4.99 Deadpool Black White And Blood #3 (Of 4)(Cover B Salvador Larroca), AR Deadpool Black White And Blood #3 (Of 4)(Cover C Stan Sakai), AR Defenders #3 (Of 5)(Cover A Javier Rodriguez), $3.99 Defenders #3 (Of 5)(Cover B Kevin Nowlan), AR Defenders #3 (Of 5)(Cover C Joe Jusko Marvel Masterpieces Variant), AR Eternals Celestia #1 (Cover A Esad Ribic), $3.99 Eternals Celestia #1 (Cover B Nelson Blake II), AR Eternals Celestia #1 (Cover C Rob Liefeld Deadpool 30th Anniversary Variant), AR Excalibur #24 (Cover A Mahmud A. Asrar), $3.99 Excalibur #24 (Cover B Rian Gonzales), AR Excalibur #24 (Cover C Joe Jusko Marvel Masterpieces Variant), AR Hellions #16 (Cover A Stephen Segovia), $3.99 Hellions #16 (Cover B Todd Nauck), AR Hellions #16 (Cover C Joe Jusko Marvel Masterpieces Variant), AR Killraven Epic Collection Volume 1 Warrior Of The Worlds TP (not verified by Diamond, $44.99 New Mutants #22 (Cover A Martin Simmonds), $3.99 New Mutants #22 (Cover B David Lopez), AR Runaways By Rainbow Rowell Volume 6 Come Away With Me TP (not verified by Diamond, $24.99 Savage Avengers #25 (Cover A Valerio Giangiordano), $3.99 Savage Avengers #25 (Cover B Cory Smith), AR

MARVEL PRESS Spidey And His Amazing Friends Meet Spidey Team Board Book HC, $7.99

ONI PRESS Dirtbag Rapture #1 (Cover A Kendall Goode), $3.99 Dirtbag Rapture #1 (Cover B Malachi Ward), $3.99 Dirtbag Rapture #1 (Cover C Brian Level), $3.99 Orcs In Space Volume 1 TP, $15.99 Rick And Morty Presents Snuffles Goes To War #1 (Cover A Devaun Dowdy), $4.99 Rick And Morty Presents Snuffles Goes To War #1 (Cover B Megan Huang), $4.99 Rick And Morty Rick’s New Hat #3 (Cover A Fred Stresing), $3.99 Rick And Morty Rick’s New Hat #3 (Cover B Sarah Stern), $3.99

REBELLION / 2000AD Megatropolis HC, $25.00 Slaine Dragontamer HC, $19.99

SCOUT COMICS By The Horns #6, $3.99 Cherry Blackbird #3 (Of 5), $3.99 Redshift #3 (Of 6), $3.99 Snatched #2, $3.99 Solar Flare Volume 1 Fort Myers TP (New Printing), $19.99

TITAN COMICS Monday Monday Rivers Of London #4 (Cover A Abigail Jill Harding), $3.99 Monday Monday Rivers Of London #4 (Cover B V. V. Glass), $3.99 Monday Monday Rivers Of London #4 (Cover C David Buisian), $3.99

VAULT COMICS Last Book You’ll Ever Read #3 (Cover A Leila Leiz), $3.99 Last Book You’ll Ever Read #3 (Cover B Jen Hickman), $3.99 Last Book You’ll Ever Read #3 (Cover C Leila Leiz Black Bag Variant), $5.99 Money Shot #15 (Cover A Caroline Leigh Layne), $3.99 Money Shot #15 (Cover B Caroline Leigh Layne Black Bag Variant), $5.99 Vampire The Masquerade Volume 2 Winter’s Teeth TP, $17.99

VIZ MEDIA Blue Exorcist Volume 26 GN, $9.99 Chainsaw Man Volume 7 GN, $9.99 Jujutsu Kaisen Volume 12 GN, $9.99 Moriarty The Patriot Volume 5 GN, $9.99 My Hero Academia School Briefs Novel Volume 5 SC, $10.99 My Love Mix-Up Volume 1 GN, $9.99 One Punch Man Volume 23 GN, $9.99 Seraph Of The End Vampire Reign Volume 22 GN, $9.99 Spy x Family Volume 6 GN, $9.99 We Never Learn Volume 18 GN, $9.99 Yona Of The Dawn Volume 32 GN, $9.99

WAKE ENTERTAINMENT Ascencia #8, $3.99

ZENESCOPE ENTERTAINMENT Belle Headless Horseman #1 (One Shot)(Cover A Igor Vitorino), $5.99 Belle Headless Horseman #1 (One Shot)(Cover B Harvey Tolibao), $5.99 Belle Headless Horseman #1 (One Shot)(Cover C Josh Burns), $5.99 Van Helsing Beast Of Exmoor #1 (One Shot)(Cover A Sean Chen), $5.99 Van Helsing Beast Of Exmoor #1 (One Shot)(Cover B Igor Vitorino), $5.99 Van Helsing Beast Of Exmoor #1 (One Shot)(Cover C Tristan Thompson), $5.99

GAMES

KONAMI DIGITAL ENTERTAINMENT Yu-Gi-Oh Tin Of Ancient Battles, AR

NECA/WIZKIDS Dungeons And Dragons Icons Realms Figure Kobold Warband, AR

PAIZO Pathfinder Fists Of The Ruby Phoenix Pawn Collection (P2), AR

SIRIUS DICE Maple Leaf Dice Set, AR

USAOPOLY Rubik’s Cube Disney Princess, AR Rubik’s Cube Disney Villains, AR Rubik’s Cube Garbage Pail Kids, AR Rubik’s Cube Hocus Pocus, AR Rubik’s Cube Iron Maiden, AR Rubik’s Cube Jurassic Park, AR Rubik’s Cube South Park, AR

TOYS - T-SHIRTS & COLLECTIBLES Avatar Lab Gallery Zuko PVC Statue, AR Demon Slayer World Collectable Figure Presence Of Muzan 12 Piece Blind Mystery Box Figure Assortment, AR Demon Slayer World Collectable Figure Presence Of Oyakata-Sama 12 Piece Blind Mystery Box Figure Assortment, AR Lil Dumpster Fire 7 Inch Plush, AR Lord Of The Rings Deluxe Action Figure Assortment Series 2, AR Masters Of The Universe He-Man Black T-Shirt LG, AR Masters Of The Universe He-Man Black T-Shirt MED, AR Masters Of The Universe He-Man Black T-Shirt SM, AR Masters Of The Universe He-Man Black T-Shirt XL, AR Masters Of The Universe He-Man Black T-Shirt XXL, AR My Hero Academia 6.5 Inch Plush Series 3 Assortment, AR My Hero Academia Amazing Heroes V13 Izuku Midoriya Figure, AR Transformers Series 1 Minimates Box Set, AR Vinyl Soda Boruto Uzumak With Glow In The Dark Chase, AR Vinyl Soda Masters Of The Universe Stinkor With Scented Chase, AR Vinyl Soda Ragnarok Hulk With Helmet Chase, AR Vinyl Soda Super Chicken With Glow In The Dark Chase, AR Vinyl Soda Super Friends Jayna With Vampire Chase, AR Voltron Pilots Blue T-Shirt LG, AR Voltron Pilots Blue T-Shirt MED, AR Voltron Pilots Blue T-Shirt SM , AR Voltron Pilots Blue T-Shirt XL, AR Voltron Pilots Blue T-Shirt XXL, AR

[killian-whump]

So who in the Coven of Colin or Coven of Hooks (Are they separate covens or the same one?) would be most likely to bang intelligent lifeforms of outer space? Not counting Gordo, cause that answer's obvious so it'd be cheating.

Well, the Coven of Hooks is a subsection of the Colin Character Coven. Like, when the Colin Character Coven gathers for meetings, only one Hook is allowed to attend. Otherwise, things get way too piratey and sexy and murdery for everyone else. Also, it’s a well-known fact that Kraken-san can’t resist congregations of two or more Killian Joneses in one place, so it’s important to keep the Hooks down to one (1) for the anal integrity of all those involved. Also, due to the relative importance and prevalence of the Hooks, as a group, they tend to also moderate most of the meetings, for better or worse.

And for those wondering, the standard present-day Killian Jones from Storybrooke is usually the Hook that gets sent to the Colin Character Coven meetings - though they do occasionally send other Hooks instead, particularly if its a themed meeting or the topic of discussion is something one Hook feels a little more strongly about than the others.

Case in point - this discussion right here. For some reason, it appears that Old Hook has decided to attend this meeting on behalf of the Coven of Hooks. Let’s take a peek in at the meeting. I believe they’re taking the final poll now...

Rowe: No. Brendan: I’m not weird, but yes. Peter Sheerin: Eh, why not? Jamie: No, but can I write a story about one of you doing it? Conor Elliott: Erm... No? (he’s on his meds this week) Security Guard: It’s tough, it’s tough. Duke Philip: I shan’t be partaking, gentlemen. Ben: No. No. Michael Kovak: Is that like a demon? Mark: YES. Michael Kovak: Then no. Been there, done that, didn’t enjoy it.

Crickets: *chirping quietly for several moments*

Old Hook: At any rate, I would. In fact, I mis-read the invitation. I thought we were gathering here to do exactly that, and while I appreciate the free donuts, I have to say I’m pretty disappointed, lads. Mark: You skipped me. Old Hook: No we didn’t. You said, and I quote, “YES” - in all caps, even. Mark: I was answering that Michael nerd’s question! Old Hook: Ah. Right. Well... Mark: My answer is NO. In all caps. Hell no! Aliens exist, and they’re absolutely terrible, murderous, disgusting beasts with gaping, toothy maws and one fucking ATE MY FACE OFF. Old Hook: Right. But you see, I’m using pen here... Mark: What’s that got to do with anything?? Old Hook: Well, I’d have to scribble out your YES, you see, and it would just make everything look much less neat. Michael Kovak: Neatness is next to Godliness. Mark: Nobody asked you! Jamie: Can we stay on topic here? I’ve had a lot of coffee today, and I just feel like there isn’t really a story here, after all. Old Hook: *coughs* So Mark stays with the YES and- Mark: No he doesn’t!!! You change that right now! Old Hook: But it’s pen... Mark: Listen, old man... Unnamed Lumberjack: *stands up* *opens his mouth to say something* *decides not to* *shakes his head and sits down*

Crickets: *still chirping softly in the ensuing silence*

Old Hook: Next is... Brennan Sullivan? Has anyone seen Brennan? Rowe: He’s out back, puking. Everyone, including the Crickets: *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* Michael Kovak: It’s that Nora again, isn’t it. Old Hook: Well, unless she’s an alien- Mark: She’s not. I keep telling you people, aliens are real and I know exactly what they look like, because one fucking ate my goddamn face right off and- Old Hook: I’ll put Brennan down for “no” then. Mark: Oh, sure! You’ll put that loser down for a no, but you thought I’d say yes to fucking one of those things?! Conor Elliott: Ah... You do recall trying to sleep with each and every one of our girlfriends at one point or another, right? Peter Sheerin: The git even tried to bang me sister. Mark: Yeah, but I wouldn’t- Old Hook: Well... according to this official coven document, you would. In all caps, even. It’s written in pen.

Crickets: *chirp out little tiny cricket laughs at Mark’s expense*

Old Hook: Lets carry on, shall we? Where were we... Professor Harrison: Well, I wouldn’t have sex with an alien. I doubt they’d know anything about how to please a man like me in bed. Hisirdoux Casparan: I don’t really think it’s fair to judge an alien species and decide whether or not I would find them attractive or worth pursuing romantically without having met one of them and gotten to know them properly... Mark: You’re a 900-year-old virgin. Hisirdoux Casparan: *gasp* You take that back! Mark: You don’t even deny it. Hisirdoux Casparan: I am on a children’s show! Mark: Exactly. 900-year-old virgin. Hisirdoux Casparan: *frowns* *starts chanting quietly*

Crickets: *chirp nervously*

Elder Peter: God frowns on sex with alien creatures. In the scriptures... Michael Kovak: Here we go. Elder Peter: In the scriptures... it says- Michael Kovak: They’re not scriptures if you just wrote them on a napkin twenty minutes ago in the bathroom. Elder Peter: I am God’s mouthpiece. My word is gospel. Michael Kovak: You’re a loony, is what you are. Old Hook: What do I put him down for, then? Mark: I don’t know. If it’s a fully grown female, he’ll probably try to marry it in a lake and hump it, so put him down for a yes. Old Hook: Done. J.J., do you have a response? J.J. Sneed: OW, goddammit. Old Hook: Try to stay on topic, mate. We’re discussing fornication with intelligent alien beings this week. J.J. Sneed: I ain’t got any goddamn knees, you bastard! Every week, y’all ask me some dumb question and I tell you I am in dire need of medical care, and every damn week, you assholes ignore me! Old Hook: Come now, mate. It’s all in good fun. Just give us an answer, so we can put you down in the official poll tally. J.J. Sneed: NO, then. No, I would not fuck a fucking alien. Now can someone please get me to a doctor? I’m bleeding out here! Conor Elliott: I tried to drive you to the clinic just last week. You stole my wallet and drove off in my car, laughing out the window about what a pansy ass I am. J.J. Sneed: Now you listen here... Old Hook: Well, that’s everybody then! Meeting’s adjourned. Michael Kovak: We didn’t ask Gordo. Old Hook: Yes, well, the Ask specifically said, “not counting Gordo” so I think it’s acceptable that we leave him out of it this time around. Besides, he’s not here right now. Ben: Uh... where is he? Old Hook: It seems he’s on a “date” with a space kraken of some kind. He sent along his apologies on a card emblazoned with the word “YOLO” on it.

Absolutely No One: *is surprised*

Hisirdoux Casparan: *stands abruptly, knocking over his chair* Appearium Facade Masticating Extra-Terrestrionus! Alien from Storage 24: *appears as if summoned by a master wizard* Mark: *screams and runs away, chased by the alien* Hisirdoux Casparan: See if he calls me a 900-year-old virgin again...

[pass-the-bechdel]

Alias season one full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

Seventeen out of twenty-two (77.27%).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

25.08%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Zero.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Three: 1.09 – “Mea Culpa” (16.67%); 1.11 – “The Confession” (9.09%); and 1.14 – “The Coup” (17.65%)

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-two. Sixteen who appeared in more than one episode, two who appeared in at least half the episodes, and one who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Eighty. Thirty-one who appeared in more than one episode, seven who appeared in at least half the episodes, and four who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

While it could have done much worse, it could have also done considerably better. The white male perspective shines through in ways that are often individually minor but collectively major (average rating of 2.86).

General Season Quality: Mindless fun, at least the first time around. However, once subjected to scrutiny, only the performances save what is in many ways a mess.  

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Alias’ first season is often considered to be among the series’ best, and it’s not hard to see why: it’s the most confident (at least on the surface), it’s the one that is most distinct from other TV shows, and features level of extravagance that is not seen in many of the future seasons. It’s also the season most in control of its various elements: while not all of them are used to their best effect, we can at least understand why they are there, and they all have a role to play.  This is very often not the case with this series.

And yet, I find that season one, which I had once considered my favorite, is actually the one that stands up least well to rewatching. With the twists and turns that define its narrative having long since lost their bite, there is very little about it that is engaging in the way future seasons are. While it features elements which I wish had been kept and not abandoned, the more I rewatch, the more it becomes clear that these elements were often just not used well.  

Take Rambaldi. While a lot of the fandom would eventually lose patience with the device and blame it for the series’ flagging quality, it is clear, upon reconsideration, that it wasn’t a good idea from the start. Are Rambaldi missions marginally more interesting than those that don’t involve Rambaldi?  Sure—but that’s not exactly hard. The problem with those early non-Rambaldi missions wasn’t the absence of a mystery box featuring a Leonardo Da Vinci knock-off, it was that there was absolutely no resonance to them. They did not tell us anything about characters. They did not feature interesting elements. They did not further the stories that existed outside of them. However, none of these are actually inherent qualities of the stories. Having non-Rambaldi stories that did not feel as if they mattered was a choice. Furthermore, none of these problems with the early missions are actually fixed by having Rambaldi in them. Rambaldi stories are often exactly as hollow as the others—they just happen to also include The Tease, which is by definition attention-grabbing and helps make it easier to ignore other crucial things—like, for example, how meaningless it all is. 

“Meaningless,”  sadly, is a word that can be used to describe many of the stories this season, which could accurately be described as a twenty-two episode version of the first three quarters of Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, also by J.J. Abrams—go to Place A to do Thing B, so you can then go to Place C and do Thing D, repeat ad nauseum.  What does Rambaldi tell us about anything? What did Charlie tell us about Francie? What makes the C.I.A. fundamentally different from SD-6?  What is the point of all this prophecy business?  What’s the red ball about, and why should we care, when the series is not giving us any reason to beyond “you should care”? What is the series saying?

The closest thing the season has to a theme, as mentioned in previous reviews, is the idea that people have different faces, many of which we choose to or are forced to keep hidden for one reason or another. It’s…fine, as themes go (although it’s worth noting that Rambaldi contributes nothing to that conversation), but the season is, at best, ambivalent about it. Given how universal the thesis is, it feels very much like it should be applied to everyone, and yet this is very clearly not the case, with a very clear line between characters who get to be multifaceted and those who don’t. Additionally, a robust exploration of the theme would require a greater interest in people than the show has demonstrated; that the standard mission features the barest amount of human interaction feels like a serious misstep, and is one of the reasons why large parts of this season feel unmemorable. As crucial as Sydney’s costumes are for the series’ brand identity, the missions that facilitate them are also often the least interesting part of any given episode.

(On a related note, it’s worth noting once again that the series is also not at all interested in the various places it takes its characters to. All the jet-setting the series does exists largely to provide the barest amount of local color, and nothing else—the philosophy behind Sydney’s costumes, applied to scenery.)  

One thing that is consistently interesting about season one, though, is the difference between the Sydney the writers thought they were writing and the Sydney they actually wrote.  I’ve mentioned multiple times that there is a consistent sense that the writers were afraid of making Sydney a character that could be considered objectionable, in a way that led them to strip away every bit of complexity from her situation, and undermining the show’s very premise. Yes, she worked for a terrorist group for seven years, but Alias is not a redemption story—Sydney is never shown to have done anything that could be considered immoral. Yes, she’s actually still working for them now, but none of her missions actually require her to consider compromising her beliefs. Yes, her job requires her to dress much more sexily than she does when she’s not playing a role, but never that she have sex —spysex is bad. Yes, SD-6 is the most formative experience of her life as a young adult, but that doesn’t mean she’s in any way ambivalent about it or has seven years of history to recontextualize. No, she has no reason why to trust the government, but that doesn’t mean she is anything other than completely loyal to U.S. intelligence interests.  A situation that is nothing but complicated edges—a woman who has turned against the institution that made her who she is because she realized it was evil and that she was facilitating that evil—is as toothless as Clifford the Big Red Ball.

(Making things worse still is that the writers don’t actually morally object to the things they contrive to prevent Sydney from doing. The scene where SpyDaddy tortures and kills Haladki is not meant to make viewers think worse of SpyDaddy—just the opposite, in fact. And this has very real implications: arguing that male characters like Jack or Sloane get to have edges and imperfections while female heroes only get to be worthwhile if they’re virginal is textbook sexism.)   

This, however, isn’t to say that Sydney is flawless—but rather, that Alias, having decided to leave the natural implications of its premise unexplored, has to look elsewhere to provide imperfections. The first of these imperfections, which feels like the show’s version of the clumsy female YA protagonist trope, is that Sydney…is not smart. She’s very clever in the moment, but she is consistently very bad at long-term thinking, or at dealing with people (Alias does not care about people). While she sometimes gets called out on this—such as when she’s told her impulsive plan to quit SD-6 and still keep her normal life is impulsive and had no chance of working—it still feels exceedingly odd for a veteran spy to be thinking this way, and inexplicable in one that has been in the business for seven years and is supposedly very good at her job. That characters like SpyDaddy are, in turn, allowed to be competent in ways she isn’t make things even more baffling: if you know well enough to make your characters tactically smart, then why not allow your supposedly-smart main character to actually make tactically smart decisions?

Sydney’s lack of critical thinking mixes with the aforementioned fear of allowing her to be morally compromised in ways that further serve to undermine the character. A person who has no need to make moral compromises is much more likely to not understand the concept of compromise or moral complexity, which is very often how Sydney is written—she just loves that high horse—in a way that actively harms the series, because the series then has to warp its universe in order to fit the narrative.  It makes no sense for Sydney to consider her mother to be evil for being a KGB assassin—not in light of Sydney’s own work for SD-6—unless one makes it so that her work for SD-6 was somehow not immoral or visibly harmful.  Similarly, it makes no sense for Sydney to consider being lied to for large parts of her life as indefensible, given her life and how much of it is lying to others. And while Sydney is free to have feelings that are logically inconsistent or even hypocritical, the fact that she is never seriously called out on these inconsistencies strongly suggests that the writers have not spotted them either. 

And so, we have a Sydney who can accurately be described as a Karen: someone who (often correctly) believes systems and rules and morals are only suggestions when they apply to her but unbreakable rules when used against those she doesn’t like,  and who uses her relatively minor oppression as a way to ignore her considerable privilege, which she consistently uses for her own personal benefit. Not only is her “original” sin—telling Danny about SD-6—borne from this belief, we see it consistently in ways both major (her belief that the anti-SD-6 effort should follow her lead, even after she’d just learned that she knew nothing about the group; her attempts to secure Vaughn as her handler; her general belief that only she gets to determine who and who does not get forgiven) and minor (her blithe attempts to get an extension on classwork she didn’t do). While she’s far from the worst example of a Karen—she lacks, for example, the cruelty that characterizes those who call cops to kill Black people—she nevertheless fits the profile with shocking exactness.  

And honestly, that’s fantastic.

One of the reasons I can still appreciate Alias, despite its multiple flaws, is because it’s part of a genre that is both fairly derivative and which gets a fair amount of play—the original Nikita (the 1990 Luc Besson film) begat La Femme Nikita (the 1997-2001 TV series) begat Alias (2001-2006) begat Nikita (the 2010-2013 series) and to a lesser extent Person of Interest (2011-2016)—which means that everything it’s done badly has probably been done well elsewhere. This, in turn, allows me to enjoy Alias on its own terms. I don’t really need to see Sydney the hypercompetent, empathetic super-spy—that’s what Nikita Mears is there for, and if Sydney were more like her, then she would not be nearly as memorable or fascinating.  

(It helps immeasurably that Jennifer Garner is fantastic at making Sydney feel fundamentally likeable. Were it not for that, the series would have been unbearable.)

That said, that doesn’t mean that Sydney doesn’t present a problem for the show. As fascinating as Hypocritical Entitled Princess SpyBarbie is, she would be even more so as the main character in a world that reacts to her idiosyncrasies in a way that makes sense. That this is not the case is one of the season’s biggest problems. To go back to Sydney Doesn’t Kill, even if one could justify it in-universe, one would still need to explain why it goes on completely unremarked by anyone. The only explanation for that is to argue that SD-6 just has a general non-killing policy, which makes absolutely no sense. More generally, keeping the show’s version of Sydney viable means breaking the series’ moral parameters—SD-6 is terrible except when it isn’t—which further hinders the season or its attempts to say anything worthwhile.   

On another note entirely, let’s talk about those Bechdel Test results. When I began working on this, I was honestly expecting this season to do far worse than it did, since I remembered the bulk of Sydney and Francie’s conversations being about the men in their lives.  While this turned out to be not the whole truth, it is still largely accurate in ways that do not speak well of the season.  

The Bechdel test presents, by design, a very low bar to clear. Passing is not hard to do, and it is even less hard when the main character of the work is female—you almost have to actively work at failing in order to consistently do so. And yet, this is what almost happens with Alias. Take away Francie from the main cast—which is actually shockingly easy to do, especially in the second half of the season—and the passing rate falls dramatically.

It’s also worth noting how few of the passes actually take place outside of Sydney’s domestic life. This is a serious problem! First of all, it means that the series is very often passing by the skin of its teeth, since Sydney’s domestic life is not often the focus of the series, especially as the season progresses. More importantly, it indicates that Sydney’s worlds outside the purely domestic realm are ones made up nearly entirely of men. 

Now, it’s bad enough that Sydney is very nearly the only female intelligence operative in the world, in a world where even the desk jockeys are overwhelmingly male. But this goes beyond that. It’s not just that Sydney does not interact with female agents. It’s that she very rarely interacts with female scientists, female doctors, female party hosts, female corporate bigwigs (or, in college, with female professors). Why has the world of the show been set up this way?    

Well, consider this: in a heteronormative world—which Alias very much is, no matter how much we all love Anna Espinosa and her no-heterosexual-explanation-for-this chemistry with Sydney—seduction is not a valid interaction between two women.

I’ve noted that Sydney’s aliases are almost never about adopting concrete personas, and instead about adopting particular aesthetics, which almost always accept the modifier “sexy”—sexy maid, sexy club-goer, sexy IT person—even when there’s no actual need for it, according to stated mission parameters.  While this is, to a degree, about genre convention (sexy spies gotta sexy) there is something deeper going on here. Sydney’s aliases tend to be about being sexy because it’s Sydney’s chief interaction (whenever interaction is needed—it often is not, as mentioned earlier)—or at the very least, the use of feminine wiles is. This, in turn, is only possible because Sydney’s spy work takes place in a world largely devoid of women. It’s a vicious circle: Sydney’s missions don’t have women because sexy costumes are not needed to interact with women. Sexy costumes are needed because Sydney is always interacting with men, and the only valid interactions with them involve the possibility of sex.

Consider, in contrast, what happens with Dixon. Sydney dons costumes; Dixon adopts personas. Given that seduction is not an option for Dixon in a world with almost no women, his interactions get to be more complex—the rich person lording his privilege over the people who want his money; the cocky poker player. Heck, even Vaughn, with his limited screen time, gets to have fairly complex interactions. His alias in “The Solution” involves a more complex interaction than Sydney has ever had in the whole season, with the possible exception of…sigh…her brownface alias (which note, is also one where seduction is not available to her).

In short: Alias’ mission sequences are often so samey and uninspired because writers cannot conceive of a world in which Sydney interacts with women, or one when she can have non-sexual interactions with men. One could hardly find a better example of how sexism actively makes works worse and is inextricably linked with quality.

I’ve been fairly negative during this review so far, so it’s important to note that Alias is far from all bad. In fact, part of the reason why this season is so frustrating is because what we actually got, as disappointing as it is, is still generally so enjoyable, and makes me want the series to be its best self.  So let’s talk about things I do like.

The first and foremost element in Alias’ plus column is its excellent cast, which does an incredible job of elevating writing that, as we’ve established, often does not do them any favors. Usually, bad writing results in unlikeable characters, but not here; this is actually a supremely engaging group of people, which makes the series surprisingly easy to get through. There’s no character whose presence will stop me from enjoying an episode because of the haaaaate, and that’s a rare blessing. Even Will, who has the audacity to both date his twenty-year-old intern and then very visibly not appreciate her, even when she’s great and looks like Sarah Shahi (whose Sarah Shahi-ness is 98% of the reason why the character is great; it certainly isn’t because of the way she’s written), is someone I really, really like, which is a bona fide miracle.

(Also, shout out to unproblematic favorites Dixon and Francie, who are wonderful and don’t get nearly the development they deserve.) 

Something I also really enjoy about this season is its management of Sydney’s love life, which feels atypical for the genre in a way I appreciate. Both Will and Vaughn have really good chemistry with Sydney, and you could see her being happy with either. You can see why they all like each other. The pacing feels just right: neither Will nor Vaughn dither when it comes to expressing their feelings, and yet the evolution of said feelings and how they express them simmers at just the right speed. Will gets to have his feelings rebuffed and deal with them in exactly the right way (at least when it comes to his interactions with Sydney). None of their characters treat romance as the only worthwhile endgame of their relationships. It won’t last, but for now, this element of the series is very appreciated.  

Finally, there is something about this season’s expansive approach to world-building, which is very appealing for reasons I can’t quite describe. As someone who’s a big fan of narratives featuring tangential storylines running in tandem, I really appreciate just how many different social circles the series establishes in a very short amount of time. It could have done better by pretty much all of them, but ultimately, I am interested and invested in the world the show has established. 

In the end, though, season one’s chief asset may just be its ability to bluff, using the appearance of confidence, showmanship and excellent production values to make up for its various sins. It’s largely illusory, of course, but if you let yourself get caught up in the magicians’ misdirection, you end up with a propulsive fun experience that is also unlike anything that was going on at the time and which despite various imitators hasn’t quite been replicated since.  It may not always be great, but it’s never a slog.

Alias season 1 is not the best season of the show; it’s not even among the better ones. Still, despite it significant and arguably fatal flaws, I can’t hate it—just the opposite, really.  It’s a lot like Sydney Bristow that way.

[buddiebeginz]

Podcast | Part 2: The Rise of Skywalker Analysis What The Force

I found a lot of the conversation about mythos and how it relates to TROS really interesting so I put down some of the conversation from this podcast here (along with some other interesting quotes from the video). (the bulk of stuff I quoted starts here 57:44)

The American Monomyth does not allow the hero to go past the transformation. They go to the transformation and then go into obscurity. They are not allowed to atone and they are not allowed to return. And we see this actually play out from the specific choices to do with artistic creation of our heroine Rey...She's a heroine from a horror movie. Heroines from horror movies especially in the 1980's died if they had sex. The only woman that got out alive who resisted the damsel in distress was the pure virginal woman. That is what Rey became. The scared child that can overcome the monster in the dark. How does the heroine develop over time in our mass media?.. Heroines in horror movies were originally perceived as you know virginal and there was a backlash against that at some point but then it went back to virginal. It's constantly trying to find who is worthy. The feminine has to be worth of being the hero in the end in different ways then the male does. The role of the heroine is that: She is a model of moral purity seeking nothing for herself while loving others in generous but sexually chaste manner. Female redemptive power requires a soul and body uncontaminated by sexual passion. These angelic girls give us a an image of selfless love devoid of sexuality, combined with a perfect conformity to the post Puritan virtues of cooperativeness, cheerfulness, and submissiveness. Redemption here takes the form of adjustment to circumstances rather than the annihilation of incorrigibles. The mythical plot varies from the masculine heroic patterns only in the means of redemption which are psychologically and religiously manipulative rather than violent. Where as the men achieve sexual segmentation through renunciation, super heroines like Hedi simply remain in a prepubescent state forever. (The Myth of the American Superhero) Rey did not choose this. Rey did not choose for Ben to die. Rey wanted to be with him she kissed him. But at the end of the story she remained a prepubescent heroine. She remained happy. She didn't mourn for him. We didn't see her suffer. She is a child. She's back to being a child because she was comfortable in the desert and this was her new home. The synthesis of Ben and Rey using creative mythology as a template, using basically the last two chapters of Power of Myth and Symbolism of Joseph Campbell could give them (DLF) the answer. It was they were ending up together and they had a baby and they continued on. That would have solved the myth. Ben didn’t need to go to jail. Rey could have said he saved my life. He helped me kill Palpatine. He protected me and then I killed Palpatine. ...That’s what could have happened but they chose not to do it. That would have been the atonement and the return that would have been giving the “elixir” to the community but they chose not to do that. They chose to stop the myth at the transformation. They didn't give the community anything. TLJ ended with that. We didn't end there. That’s why we are left empty and we are left unfulfilled. This is the interesting thing about how the American Monomyth plays into this, because Rey not only fulfills the masculine hero by disappearing into obscurity but she also played the role of the feminine heroine by healing the masculine. She has became prepubescent and she has become John Wayne in the same movie. ~~~~~~ The symbolism broke when Ben wasn't standing next to her as the twin of her sun. They broke the symbolism internally. Because they used it earlier on in the movie and then broke it. I can tell you how much they used twin suns in the lead up to this in how much they used it everywhere. The Force theme has been used to them, the Binary Sunset theme. They used the twin suns purposefully elsewhere in canon and in the lead up to describe both of them and now she is alone. And then they tried to replace the twin suns with Luke and Leia which leaves you feeling slightly incestuous because now she is the adopted daughter of twins? ~~~~~~ This is an example for some people of a thematic fictional betrayal. Our brains know on some level that this is fiction but on the lizard brain level, that listened to stories around the campfire and that was our only source of entertainment from an evolutionary psychology perspective we can't tell the difference between our myths and our reality. We can't tell the difference between losing Ben Solo and how wrong it was and losing our mom, our brother, our lover. And in so many ways this fandom identified to both Rey and Kylo and the synthesis would have been to create a complete person in us. And we lost both of them. Because we lost her character growth and her sexuality and we lost him. Recognize that any art that you draw, any fic that you write, any post that you post is a part of the myth. They decided that the anger that was caused by the TLJ, which became a part of the myth mind you whether we like it or not. They decided to incorporate it into the story and so that has consequences and obviously we're feeling those consequences. Expect more of Star Wars. Expect it. Demand it. And not in an angry way but in a this is important to me way and this is imporant for our society. And this is the only way that we transform and take the elixir back. We must fullfill the myth because the American Monomyth will not do it for us. We can't rely on creators like J.J. anymore. We can't rely on men who come from that era. We can't rely on that particular group that come from that era of storytelling.