#Izzy & Jace are regarded as some of the best shadowhunters ever

[witchlingcirce]

I’m really surprised by people being worried about the tmi cast dying in TWP… both Jace and Simon have literally come back from the dead, I don’t think anyone in that gang CAN die

[ninacarstairss]

PARABATAI WEEK — day 6, underrated/fanon parabatai @carstairgray

i’m broken, torn apart, shattered and a couple more adjectives because of tftsa and it falls perfectly on the parabatai week so here are some simon x george parabatai headcanon

they place their parabatai runes on the back of their shoulders to symbolize they’ll always have each other’s back.

after the ceremony they go back to the new york institute and the rest of the gang surprises them with a party to celebrate.

simon places a stuffed rat on george’s bed before he shows him his new room, in memory of their days at the academy. the rat also has a tiny collar with “jon cartwright xxxv” engraved on it.

george jumps on the nearest chair when he sees it and his academy nightmares come back to him as simon is doubled over laughing near the door.

once the initial fear of having to deal with rats even at the institute passes, george keeps the stuffed animal and he adores it, it reminds him of their time at the academy, how he and simon met and became the brothers they are now.

they start having training sessions with jace and alec and they always end up on the ground with jace and alec triumphant over them but they put up quite a fight when fighting together.

they also like to train a lot with izzy and clary but that works way less for their skills because izzy and simon end up making out somewhere when one of them pins the other on the floor and clary and george just leave the room and go get a coffee before they can see something they won’t be able to forget. alec still talks about his nightmares regarding the time he walked in on simon and izzy in idris.

george gets to know the gang better and they all love him, but simon is especially happy when he notices him bonding a lot with izzy and clary and when he sees alec starting to trust him fully. jace ends up telling george so many stories about the first time he met simon and how he was when he first entered the shadow world, including the being-turned-into-a-rat part — george’s favorite ever since the academy — and that’s when simon knows jace really likes him too.

simon keeps schooling george in pop culture, movies, comics and the history of his band when he was a mundane and he drags george around the city in all the best places to find comics and the best film. soon enough george is making star wars references on a daily basis. though, he’ll never stop mocking simon about all the names his band went through, especially when he reveals the ones he though about during the academy that had to do with rats and other weird creatures, or grey eggs.

george often leaves to visit his family in scotland and he always takes simon with him. his parents love him and they always welcome him as a son. george couldn’t be happier and simon feels at home. he misses seeing his family every day, but he learned that for every loss there’s something to gain and this new part of a home is his own new piece of happiness.

once, though, the whole gang tagged along. george talked about the green fields and the sheep of scotland so much that they wanted to see for themselves. it’s a wild vacation and, between a hike and a tour of the nearby cities, jace gets not-so-gracefully swept off his feet by a running sheep and it’s a sight they’ll never forget or let him live down.

they have annual dinners with the group for the academy. no matter how far they’re all located from each other, they get a portal and meet in idris at least once a year and visit the muddy fields where scarsbury had them running and doing push-ups for as long as it took to kill them. beatriz and julie have also become a great pair of parabatai and jon manages not to be too obnoxious for one night a year.

simon also schooled george in the art of eating take out every day for basically all meals and told him to gently refuse every single thing that leaves the pan when it’s izzy cooking as soon as he stepped foot into the institute. surprisingly enough izzy and george find in each other some really horrible cooks who get along a lot and think they cook fantastic food while burning half the kitchen every single time they get close to a burner. simon’s desperate and he’s most likely going to loose his eyebrows in a kitchen fire soon enough. or worse, he might actually have to eat the stuff they cook one of these days. (credits to @icycoolslushie for the idea on this one)

when sizzy get married simon chooses george to be his suggenes and george cries his eyes out because his brother is so grown up and he’s getting married

once clary and simon convince the gang to celebrate halloween and they organize a halloween party at the institute for all their friends. george is the first to agree and he’s so excited. he and simon are planning matching costumes and decide to go as avatar characters — but with more covering clothes on, simon is stoic about this and george agrees it’s probably best not to risk finding themselves in the middle of a fight with a halloween night demon wearing only that little cloth around their hips — and they also kick it up a notch by dying their hair blue. except that they buy the wrong kind of dye and when the next day they wash their hair to get the colour off, it doesn’t go away. izzy and clary have to fix their mess with brown dye.

they are those friend that always do the craziest things you see on the internet and end up with the most aesthetic photos, like george in the middle of a parking lot with flashing lights surrounding him, sitting in a shopping cart and laughing, or simon naturally posing with his bow and arrow in front of a fantastic landscape and they become snapchat famous for these pics. izzy, alec and jace are pretty confused by this snapchat famous thing.

when simon moved in at the institute after the academy he installed a playstation in his room and most nights george is there with him, playing at 3am with snacks of all kinds surrounding them. izzy joins too sometimes but she’s not great at those games and has smashed a couple of joysticks after loosing multiple times, while clary kicks both their asses when she pops in for a game.

one night george entered simon’s room for a 3am game and instead found him with izzy, both of them half naked and in the middle of some sort of role play where izzy was calling simon “lord montgomery”. he never lets simon live that down and brings the name up in the most inappropriate moments — such as clave meetings — making simon choke on air every time. after that, though, george is very careful to knock.

simon’s pansexual and he’s a little afraid to come out to george at first, but he soon realizes he knows george and he wouldn’t turn his back on him, he wouldn’t leave. so when he does tell him he’s shaking slightly but he’s also happy and george clearly is too, he scoops simon into a tight hug and tells him he’s incredibly proud of him and reassures him he loves him no matter what, they’re brothers no matter what.

they’re not big on celebrations of birthdays or mundane holidays in general, but they do like to keep the traditions alive. both of them have been raised with no knowledge of the shadow world and they were observant of some religious and mundane holidays that shadowhunter don’t celebrate. so they like getting christmas gifts for everyone or organize parties for new year’s. they celebrate hanukah too and share other little traditions from their childhoods, like george’s family tradition of sheep’s wool-covered sweets and chocolates to find instead of eggs for easter or simon’s family tradition of taking a two day trip around spring to see the changing season and enjoy some free time, even if the trip is to the nearest town. they’re small traditions sometimes, but they like to keep the memories alive.

george becomes really good with max after that first encounter and the offer of raising him in his and simon’s drawer. he and simon often volunteer to babysit him, and rafe too afterwards, and they obviously use as bedtime stories the plot of star wars or comics, which the kids absolutely love.

sometimes when he’s stressed or tired george goes full on scottish and also switches to gaelic at times and simon is just there looking at him, torn between wanting to giggle at his usually contained behavior now unchecked and wanting to hug him and confort him. he always goes with the second, but he does love to hear george speak gaelic.

after the time at the academy when george was leading the mission to go after the faerie fruit vendors where simon got sucked into faerie he’s incredibly protective of simon in battle — or just all the time, actually. he’s thrown himself in front of simon more times than simon can count and he loves this kind of care, because of course he does the same whenever george is in danger, but it also makes him sad a lot because he knows george still feels guilty about that mission, even if nothing bad really happened, and he would do anything to make sure nothing similar ever happened again.

tag list @cordaisya @im-not-ruined-im-ruination @surrounded-by-exquisite-clutter @stxr-thxif @icycoolslushie @writeforjordelia @gabtapia @fair-childd @clarys-heosphoros @shadowhuntingdemigod (let me know if you want to be added or removed)

[ralfstrashcan]

Malec in late 2B

It's been *checks watch* three years and I've finally calmed down enough to try and untangle my feelings about the end of 2B in a coherent way.

1) Alec's decision not to tell Magnus about the Soul Sword. I've worked through my thoughts regarding that in this fic already where I go into Alec's reasoning for it. The tldr of which is that a) Alec consciously made the decision not to tell Magnus instead of running out of time to decide, b) he actually had good reasons for that and made that decision with Magnus's and the Downworld's best interests at heart and c) ultimately his love for Magnus was the very reason he didn't tell him because if he had cared about sparing Magnus's feelings a little less he would have told Magnus about the Soul Sword on condition that Magnus can't tell his people, damn the guilt Magnus will feel when warlocks die because they weren't forewarned.

2) Magnus's reaction to finding out. Magnus flips his shit, basically, lashes out, is deliberately hurtful and doesn't really listen to Alec's reasons for his decision. This is both an understandable and an ic reaction because Magnus is a very emotion-driven character and what he just learned is drastic. Could there have been a more graceful way to handle this revelation? Certainly. But it's nothing I would just expect from any given character. You'd have to be exceptionally level-headed to keep your cool in such a situation and I don't fault Magnus for not being that. His reaction was very human.

Alec gets points deduction for his line “Let's not make this personal” because dude, do you know your boyfriend at all? Have you realized that emotional compartmentalization isn't his strong forte? This line just angers Magnus more. (Alec also gets points deduction, with extreme prejudice, for trying to shush Magnus because what is wrong with you, man. I mean, this might just be a personal hang-up of mine but isn't that gesture patronizing as hell? Anyway.) On the other hand Alec gets some points for not going after Magnus. When I first watched that I thought it was very strange and kinda weird but in hindsight it is obviously the right choice. Magnus needed time and space to deal and Alec realized that trying to go after him and talk it out then was pointless and would have only angered Magnus more.

3) Magnus's reaction to Alec seeking him out because of Max. Admirable. Magnus puts all his (very understandable) anger aside to rush to the Lighwood family's aid. It doesn't matter that he can't help in the end, he is there as emotional support despite the frosty atmosphere between him and Alec. It is the decent thing to do but not everybody would have shown such kindness in his shoes. 10/10.

4) Magnus contemplating if he should take the Seelie Queen's offer aka sappy Malec flashbacks. I'm gonna place half the blame on show writers and half the blame on Magnus himself because, bro, this is not how you make a strategical decision for your people. Not even once is Magnus shown contemplating the repercussions of his decision for the warlocks or Valentine or the future of the Downworld. He only mopes about his boyfriend betraying his trust, basically. And I mean! I understand he's hurting a lot! And I understand people can't just turn off their emotions! But a good leader should be able to put his own emotions aside at least for a short time when an integral decision about his people has to be made, and quickly! And in that regard Magnus, uh, fails, apparently.

Again, I think half the blame lies with the show writers who wanted cute Malec flashbacks and generally fail at portraying inner Downworlder affairs if they don't serve the shadowhunter-centric plot. But I can't just yell “ooc behavior!!” and shrug it off because this isn't exactly ooc behavior for Magnus. Magnus is a very emotion-driven character who fails at separating personal and political matters. That's a theme. I point no further than the whole Camille-thing where he turned a blind eye to her bleeder dens because he felt personally indebted to her, and only stopped her when Raphael's life was at stake. So yeah... 0/10.

Full disclosure, I think there is a different way to read these scenes. Maybe Magnus wasn't just nursing his broken heart and missing the point. Maybe what he was actually contemplating was what he'd been fighting about with Luke before, namely if Alec can even be trusted as a person or if he's too much a shadowhunter to ever deserve their faith and cooperation because he will always treat Downworlders as lesser, because he's as racist as the Clave. In that case it would make sense for him to remember their private 1:1 interactions, to reassess Alec's character as a whole. But it would also mean that the conclusion he reached is that Alec is as corrupt as the rest of the Clave, and that would make them getting back together without ever talking about this... even more messed up than it already is! But I'm getting ahead of myself. Anyway, needless to say that I don't interpret it this way.

5) Magnus breaking up with Alec. To me personally (and to Alec) the breakup makes no sense. Magnus and Alec have different stances on, like, the implications of their relationship (and I'm emotionally wired like Alec is, at least in that regard). What I mean is this: Why does Magnus feel the need to break up with Alec? He's not an idiot, he knows that just because he breaks up with Alec his feelings for Alec will not miraculously evaporate as well. He'll be as emotionally compromised as he was before. And yet he says, “The only thing holding me back from [making difficult decisions to ensure the survival of my people] is you.”

Here's the thing. When Alec decides not to tell Magnus about the Soul Sword he does so in his capacity as the Head of the Institute, taking (almost) no account of his role as Magnus's lover. He is able to do that because he can compartmentalize between these two roles in an extreme way and therefor his relationship status has no influence on his decision. (Sure, not being with Magnus wouldn't have provided extra incentive to tell him, but work with me here. What I mean is that if Alec had rationally decided to tell Magnus about the Soul Sword, he would have made that same decision whether he was with Magnus at that point or not.) What did influence his decision making process were his feelings for Magnus, and these remain unchanged regardless of their relationship status.

Magnus has an entirely different stance. To him being in a relationship implies a certain kind of loyalty that must be maintained at all times. If their roles had been reversed I don't doubt that Magnus would have told Alec about the Soul Sword immediately because of said loyalty, and he would have thought it through for exactly zero seconds beforehand. He expected the same thing from Alec and that's why he feels so betrayed when he realizes that Alec kept it from him. This is why Magnus feels the need to break up with Alec: to disengage from this loyalty that keeps him from making decisions with only the warlocks in mind. Magnus's decision making hinges on their relationship status and the loyalty it demands, not his feelings for Alec.

Alec doesn't understand this. That's why he tells Magnus that he can have both: Alec, and the freedom to make the best choices for the warlocks, to act like the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Alec wouldn't hold it against him if he made the best decisions for his people while they are together because Alec, too, did have Magnus and made decisions as the Head of the Institute. But Magnus works differently. He'd feel like he's betraying Alec if he makes High Warlock of Brooklyn decisions while still being with Alec. And that's why he breaks up with Alec, and that's why it makes sense for Magnus to break up with him.

6) Magnus's behavior afterwards. Oh my god where do I even start.

--- Magnus being a petty bitch? Hell yeah.

--- Magnus hiding behind the Seelie Queen and running after her like he's her lap dog? Hell no. Wtf did I just watch!! Even better, he leaves Raphael behind? And Raphael then tells Izzy that Magnus was his ride and he's effectively trapped at the Institute because the sun is shining brightly outside?? I'm sorry, what. The Downworld just divorced the shadowhunters with a side of “hmm maybe we'll stop caring about the Accords as well in the near future” and Magnus leaves his Raphael behind? This is unacceptable!! I don't even know what to say to that!!

--- This has surely been discussed before but it needs to be said. Magnus implementing an anti-portal ward around New York that incinerates any angel-blooded creature that tries to pass it and not telling Alec about it. They hear about it from Luke instead and since Jace's reaction is immediately telling the shadowhunter extra next to him to stop shadowhunter movement in and out of the city immediately it is heavily implied that some shadowhunters already died thanks to this ward – since there are apparently troop movements in and out of the city that need to be stopped. (Which was to be expected! Sure, they know Valentine won't leave the city before he's got his hands on what he believes to be the mortal mirror locked away at the Institute, but he could surely be regrouping outside the city. Sending patrols into the near vicinity is the sensible thing to do.) Shadowhunter casualties due to the ward are further implied by Jace then leaning heavily on the desk and half-whispering to himself “No more shadowhunters die today.” Which makes sense. The patrols in question would have just vanished with no chance to report back what happened to them so they were probably assumed dead by Valentine's hand.

The point: Wtf Magnus. He must have been aware this could and would happen. The way I see it there are only two possible explanations: Magnus deliberately did not tell the NY Institute shadowhunters a) because he thought word might get around to Valentine or b) out of pettiness. And considering that knowing about the ward doesn't magically un-trap you and only means you will not cross it and therefore remain alive but contained, a) doesn't really make sense. The ward wasn't designed to lure Valentine to his death. It was designed to keep Valentine in the city so the other Downworld factions could hunt him down, and the ward will continue to do so even after Valentine learns of its existence. There s no harm in him knowing about it while there is a lot of harm in the NY shadowhunters not knowing about it because they will just die, for nothing, while trying to find Valentine. Magnus willingly risking that on the off-chance that Valentine walks into the ward at random is not his style at all. This leaves pettiness as motivation and sure, Magnus is petty, but not at the cost of so many casualties. This is so painfully ooc that I just can't!!

7) Their “reconciliation.” As you might have already guessed from those quotation marks: Thanks, I hate it. That adequately sums up my feelings on the matter. Don't get me wrong, the scene itself is lovely, I guess. But, content! They have this huge issue and they just don't talk about it! Magnus never learns of Alec's (legit) reasons for not telling him about the Soul Sword. Alec apologizes for.. what exactly? Doing something he was convinced was the right thing? And they never realize their differences in decision making which is even worse! This whole drama stemmed from the fact that they view the obligations that come with being in a relationship differently where their responsibilities as leaders are concerned. This is bound to become a problem again in the future!! And they just! dont! talk about it! aaaahhhhhhhh!!!! how!!!!!! are you adults or what!!!!!!! *sigh* just... –ꝏ /10

8) Aftermath. Oh right, this will of course not become a problem again in the future because Magnus loses his job. How neat.

Leaving the salt aside though I have to admit that I.. actually think the warlocks weren't entirely in the wrong in sacking Magnus. And before you kill me, hear me out. The first thing to note is that neither Raphael nor Luke get sacked for their decision to side with the Seelie Queen. Why is that? Because vampires and werewolves are fundamentally differently organized than warlocks. Warlocks have an international infrastructure. There's the Council, the Spiral Labyrinth, and stuff. Vampires and werewolves have their local clans and packs, and nothing more. Magnus has superiors. Raphael and Luke do not. After the Seelie Queen makes that deal with Valentine she condemns every Downworlder, except those located in New York, to death. Raziel's wish will kill every Downworlder on earth and only those in the Seelie Realm are safe. And as Magnus says in early 2x19

If Valentine had succeeded then literally all the other warlocks in the world would have died! Yes, the fact that the Seelie Queen threw them all under the bus isn't Magnus's fault, but

it was to be expected. Luke and Raphael both warn Magnus not to trust the Seelie Queen, that she has her own agenda and it's to rule over the Downworld, and that's why both Luke and Raphael were hesitant to accept her deal.

So I think it's pretty understandable why the other warlocks kicked Magnus out on his ass. In their eyes he would have been semi-complicit in their collective demise if Valentine had succeeded, having sided with the one who betrayed the Downworld. It doesn't matter that Magnus's choice means the warlocks at least wouldn't have gone entirely extinct if Valentine had won. It doesn't matter that the Seelie Queen would have made that deal with Valentine whether the other Downworlder factions had sided with her or not. (She had Simon in her Realm who could create new vampires, she probably would have kept Maia for new werewolves, and warlocks can be made by uuhh unethical means. What better Downworld than one that's never known anything but the Seelie Queen's uncontested reign? Yes, she absolutely would have let them all die.) None of that matters to the warlocks. They feel like Magnus betrayed them as a community and that's why they sack him.

Okay, so now we know why it made (in-universe) sense for the warlocks to fire Magnus. Make no mistake though – I don't approve of this reasoning. It's short-sighted and not very practical, and also unfair. Better save some of your species than none, right? Fine, Magnus should have informed the Council and stuff about what was going on so they could make their own deals with the Seelie Queen if they want to.. but then, do we even know if he did or didn't inform them? No. Any further discussion on this point is just poking in the dark so let's move on.

I did say that I think the warlocks weren't entirely in the wrong in dismissing Magnus from his job, though. Let me explain.

a) Magnus's decision to side with the Seelie Queen or remain sided with the Institute would have not made a difference regarding the whole Valentine-thing, right? Things would have played out exactly the same: Warlocks create anti-portal ward, Val makes a deal with the Seelie Queen and gets to Alicante anyway. The survival of the Downworld depended on Clary stabbing Valentine to death before he made the wish, and that remains unchanged no matter Magnus's decision. What Magnus's decision would have influenced (if this goddamn show knew what continuity is, lol) is what came after. Where does siding with the trigger-happy Seelie Queen, who made no secret of gunning for war with the Clave, leave the warlocks? On the Clave's bad side, that's for sure. Especially if things had escalated between the seelies and the shadowhunters (which they do in the books!!). In the show.. things just go back to how they were before the Downworld's little fail-rebellion. Either because the Downworld and the Clave mutually decide to just pretend none of it ever happened (since the Consul was exposed as a Circle Member, which, awkward) or, which I believe is more likely, because 3A focuses on The Owl Mystery and not on foreign policy and this show just sucks when it comes to including anything not strictly-plot-relevant. In any case!! Magnus's decision to side with the Seelie Queen should have had severe repercussions for the warlocks and their standing with the Clave aka dramatically worsened it, and for nothing (since nothing came of the “rebellion” and it's honestly doubtful how many warlocks would have wanted a full-on war with the shadowhunters anyway. They seem pretty good at laying low and doing their own thing). So in the long term siding with the Seelie Queen wasn't / wouldn't have been a strategically good decision (if it wasn’t followed up by a war of independence, which it wasn’t) and a legit reason to get fired.

b) More importantly, in 3x09 Lorenzo says to Magnus, “I took this position because you couldn't handle it. You let your heart dictate your actions and that will be your downfall,” which I always took to mean – since Lorenzo was god knows where when all of 2B happened – that the gossip in the warlock community is strong, and has it that Magnus only sided with the Seelie Queen as revenge for Alec not telling him about the Soul Sword / something relating to their breakup. No matter how this opinion formed in the community... *glances at 4)* they're not wrong? And this is definitely a legit reason to get fired.

So where does this leave us? I don't approve of the Council firing Magnus for the reason they did because it was a dumb reason. When I look at Lorenzo – lazy, self-centered, unwilling to actually do anything when push comes to shove – I don't think Magnus should be fired because he's obviously the much better choice as High Warlock. And I don't even think that siding with the Seelie Queen was, per se, a wrong choice. But the way Magnus made that choice left much to be desired and was a clear lapse in leadership, one where a dismissal would have been justified. And this should have been addressed in a constructive way so he can learn from his mistake.

[echo-bleu]

straight through the smoke (1)

This is my gift to @killiarious for the 2020 Malec Secret Santa Event, now that the gifters’ identities have been revealed! The plot bunny got away from me, so there will be three chapters. Happy holidays!

[CW: death penalty (but no one dies), mentions of self-harm]

Read on AO3.

At the knock at his door, Magnus puts Madzie down on the ground, letting her run to Catarina. She’s been nervous, not quite understanding what’s going on, and she keeps randomly running up to them to hug them. The other warlocks are upstairs on the roof, in a meditative state to maintain the new wards over New York, while Magnus and his best friend stand ready to move the loft and its inhabitants to the Seelie Realm, if worst comes to worst.

He steels himself before opening the door. It’s the middle of the day, so it can’t be Raphael – Magnus just realizes now that he left him in the Institute on his own earlier this morning – and Luke texted him just a few minutes ago that he was still out on patrol. The Seelie Queen is back in her realm with her henchmen. That means that it can only be Shadowhunters.

Alec.

Magnus isn’t ready to deal with him. He’s not sure he’ll ever be ready. Alec lying to him about the Soul Sword, about something that affects Magnus so directly, the safety of his people, isn’t something that Magnus can forgive easily. He understands why Alec did it, and he thinks that with time, he could come to trust Alec again, but he can’t start thinking about it until all of this is over.

And yet he can’t help but worry. Alec is out there, with his siblings and Clary, other people Magnus has come to care for, facing against two monsters. Valentine has proved more than dangerous, and with Jonathan’s help, he may well be unbeatable.

Magnus made the choice to leave them on their own. He chose his people over Alec, and while he would do it again, while he had to do it, the guilt is still eating at him.

He doesn’t know if he feels more hurt or guilty, right now. He feels crushed, more than anything else. He struggles to focus, his thoughts permanently turning back toward Alec. The current stillness, since his warlocks raised the wards, feels like the quiet before the storm, and it has left him with too much time to think.

“What do you—” Magnus starts, opening the door with more force than necessary, but it’s not Alec behind it.

It’s Clary.

“Magnus!” she exclaims as soon as he sees her. She looks twitchy and out of sorts, looking around her before she walks into the loft, almost stepping on Magnus’ feet.

“Biscuit,” Magnus says, forcing his voice to stay cold. He’s too fond of her to be angry, but he really doesn’t want to deal with her right now.

Except that she really seems scared.

“I know I shouldn’t be here,” she says, waving her arms around nervously. “But I had to come.”

Magnus frowns in concern and gently guides her to the living room. Catarina stands up in alarm, while Madzie only looks up from the drawing she’s resumed for a second, unconcerned. Clary, with her small size and her nervousness, doesn’t make a threatening figure. Magnus discretely builds a bubble of silence around Madzie to muffle the sound of their conversations, so she doesn’t hear anything not meant for her little ears.

“Magnus?” Catarina asks suspiciously.

“Biscuit, tell me what’s wrong,” Magnus commands, making Clary sit down in the blue armchair. He waves at Catarina not to worry, but she still goes to stand closer to Madzie, straightening in a defensive posture.

Clary doesn’t even seem to notice. “The Clave took full control of the Institute,” she says. “They...they just stormed in and declared it. They said that the New York Downworld had violated the Accords and—” she trails off, too agitated to speak.

“And what?” Magnus prompts. He feels a leaden weight of anticipation in his stomach. This isn’t good.

“They said that the Downworld Cabinet facilitated it. That Alec—” she meets Magnus’ eyes, panicked. “That Alec colluded with you and betrayed the Clave. Magnus, they’ve arrested him for high treason.”

“What?” Magnus lets out before he can even control his mouth. It feels like a punch to his gut. In all the scenarios he went through, even the darkest ones where Alec got hurt or died by Valentine’s hands, Magnus’ fears were always about the divide between them. Between the Clave and the Seelie Queen, between the Nephilim and the Downworld. Between him and Alec. He never, ever imagined Alec being rejected by his own people.

“They said things about your relationship being unnatural and contaminating the whole Institute,” Clary says sadly. “That it should never have been allowed, that he was a disgrace to all Nephilim.”

Magnus swallows hard. He’s heard these words about himself, of course. He knows how the Clave sees him – barely with any more regard than Valentine himself does. The Circle has never been a true extremist group, not when too many people in power in Alicante agree with them. But to hear this about Alec, for the heinous crime of loving him?

“Where is he now?” he asks.

“In one of the basement cells, I think,” Clary says. “They put all of us on house arrest pending investigation. That means we’re confined to our rooms, essentially. I used a portal rune to come here.”

“If they find out you’re gone—” Magnus starts.

Clary bites her lip. “I know. But I had to do something. I heard them talking. They’ve called off the search for Valentine, and they’re putting Alec on trial today.”

Even Catarina looks shocked at that. Magnus sits down brutally, his legs no longer supporting him. He curses under his breath, if only to let out some of the unbearable tension.

“The Clave’s penalty for high treason…” he mutters.

“Is deruning, or death,” Catarina completes for him. “Magnus—”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that,” Magnus breathes out. “I had to—I had to keep my people safe, Alec understands that—but he’s a Nephilim, he’s supposed to be safe—” He puts his face in his hands.

“Magnus,” Clary calls softly. Magnus looks up, feeling like he’s being crushed by a weight larger than him. “Before they took him away, Alec told us not to contact you. That you couldn’t do anything.”

Against his will, Magnus lets out a noise that sounds too much like a whimper, struggling to breathe around the knot in his throat. He bites down on his fist, trying to calm himself down.

Even facing his own downfall, Alec would think of him first.

“Then why did you come?” Catarina asks Clary, coolly. She has no lost love for Shadowhunters, and she doesn’t know Clary at all. She knows Alec, though, and she knows how much Magnus loves him.

“Because there has to be something that we can do, and Magnus is the most likely to come up with an idea. We can’t let this happen!”

“This is the Clave we’re talking about,” Catarina says. “It’s not about letting it happen. They do what they decide to do, and they have full authority on their soldiers.”

“Magnus, you defended Izzy last year,” Clary says, turning back to Magnus. “Can’t you do it again?”

Magnus shake his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “She barely got free, and only because you had the cup as leverage. And her crime was nothing, compared to this. The Clave is corrupt from top to bottom, Alec won’t be freed by legal means.”

“Then what do we do?” Clary asks.

“Nothing,” Catarina says firmly. Magnus looks up at her, and he can see the compassion in her eyes, but she stands her ground. “There’s nothing we can do. Any move against the Clave will be a declaration of war.”

Magnus stands up and starts pacing along the bay windows. “I think we’re past that point,” he says. “We’re already at war. They’re accusing Alec of complicity in a violation of the Accords, for the sole crime of his relationship with me. They’re not trying to arrest Valentine anymore. I think we have to assume that the Circle and the Clave are working together.”

“And you want to do what?” Catarina shits her stance, putting her hands on her hips. “Storm the Institute? Go head-to-head against the entire Clave? Magnus, you have our people to think about. They’re not going to risk their lives to get Alec back. I know you love him, but is he really worth risking all of them?” she points up toward the roof.

Magnus runs a hand down his face. “I already chose them, you, over him once. I broke up with him because I thought I had to choose between being with him, and the safety of my people.” He pauses. “But that was when I thought he would be safe. This is different.”

Clary wrings her hands, looking between them.

“You’re going to put us all in danger,” Catarina says, looking at Madzie, who is still drawing quietly, oblivious to her surroundings in the way only children can be. She can’t hear them, but Magnus still watches her for a moment to make sure that she’s okay.

“No,” he says. “I’m going to get Alec out of there, but I’m going alone. You’re staying here to keep the wards up and prepare to move to the Seelie Realm.”

“The Institute’s wards have been raised against all Downworlders,” Clary warns. “My portal can probably get you in, but—”

“You forget that I am the one who built these wards,” Magnus interrupts her. “I can get through them. I can deactivate them entirely, if I need to. And no Shadowhunter can get in or out of New York right now.”

“Magnus—” Catarina starts, but Magnus glares at her before she tries to convince him not to go. His decision is already made – nothing will stop him from saving Alec’s life. Not now.

She raises her hand in surrender. “Be careful. Come back to us.”

“I will,” Magnus says. “We will.”

*

Clary’s portal brings Magnus straight to Isabelle’s bedroom, and she steps back out to collect Jace from his own. Isabelle’s red-rimmed eyes widen when she sees Magnus and she saunters up to hug him, but she hesitates at the last moment, letting her arms fall back to her sides.

“Magnus,” she murmurs.

Magnus draws her into a hug. “Biscuit told me what happened,” he says.

“I didn’t know if you’d come,” she whispers brokenly.

Magnus closes his eyes in dismay. “We broke up, but it doesn’t mean I stopped caring.”

“This morning—”

“I was angry, and I was trying to convince myself that I’d made the right decision,” Magnus explains. He’s ashamed of how he behaved at the Cabinet meeting, pretending like he barely knew them, letting the Queen speak for him. He won’t forget Alec’s lost and hurt look any time soon.

Jace and Clary come back at that moment. Isabelle gently pushes Magnus back and steps out of the hug, and Jace sends Magnus a furious glare.

“Calm down,” Magnus says. “I’m here to help.”

“Is that what you call it? Allying with the Seelie Queen? Raising wards around the city that kill any Shadowhunter who tries to leave? Leaving Alec behind?”

“I did what I had to do,” Magnus defends himself coldly. “Alec lied to me. Your people will see mine exterminated without so much as a blink.” He takes a breath to calm himself. “Alexander wasn’t supposed to be arrested. If you want my opinion, you should blame your grandmother. Your Clave.”

Jace almost lunges at him, but Clary holds him back with a hand around his waist. He glares at Magnus some more instead, then turns his back to them and goes to stand by the window.

“You have no idea how he’s been, the past few days, do you?” he says quietly. “When the Inquisitor arrived, he was training. Hand-to-hand, five on one. He refused to use iratzes between fights.”

Magnus takes in a breath. He’s known of Alec’s self-harming tendencies since the beginning of their relationship – how could he not? – but Alec hasn’t had to resort to something this bad in a while.

“Jace, that’s enough,” Isabelle says, just as quietly. “Magnus isn’t responsible for that. Alec’s had a rough year. We all have.”

Jace deflates. He’s absently massaging his parabatai rune with one hand, the other playing with a loose thread on his sleeve. “You’re right,” he says. “It’s been...a lot. And now this.”

“Magnus, I need you to know that—” Isabelle hesitates, biting her lip. “I know why you broke up with Alec, and I get it. He’s heartbroken, but he wants you safe first and foremost. He loves you more than anything.”

“Isabelle, what are you trying to tell me?” Magnus asks, guilt churning in his gut. He doesn’t have the patience for this, not right now.

Isabelle shift from foot to foot, uncomfortable. “Before they arrested him, they gave him the opportunity to renounce you. If he told them your plans and made a public announcement disavowing you and the Cabinet, they would have let him go free and even keep his job. He refused. He didn’t even hesitate.”

Magnus shuts his eyes tightly, his head pounding. “Alexander,” he murmurs in dismay.

Self-sacrificing to a fault. Even when Magnus broke up with him, made it clear that their relationship was over, Alec wouldn’t save his own skin. “He could have done it, bought us time,” Magnus mutters, opening his eyes again. “He had to know that we wouldn’t believe it.”

Isabelle shakes her head. “That’s not Alec. He’ll die for what he believes in. And you’re everything to him. Not just you, but the Cabinet too, everything he’s accomplished to make us better.”

“He once told me that his family was everything to him,” Magnus sighs.

“And you’ve become part of it,” Isabelle says. “It doesn’t matter that you’re not together right now. You’re family.” She puts a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “That’s why we’re going to get him out. As a family.”

There’s a knock at the door.

“Shit,” Isabelle mutters. “Stay out of sight.” She stands up and, in one smooth move, removes her dress.

“What are you doing?” Jace hisses.

Magnus doesn’t bother averting his eyes. Neither he nor Isabelle are shy when it comes to nudity, and besides, she’s still in her underwear. “Buying us time,” she whispers.

She opens the door brusquely. “What?” she asks, annoyed.

“Whoa,” Magnus hears Raj’s voice. His blood boils. He has no lost love for this Shadowhunter, and if he’s working with the people trying to harm Alec— “What are you doing in here?”

“Changing,” Isabelle rolls her eyes.

“We’re supposed to escort you to the ceremony room,” Raj says. His voice isn’t as assured as it usually is. “The trial is about to start.”

Isabelle closes her eyes. “Already? Raj, what the fuck is going on out there?”

Raj sighs. “I don’t know. They said the warlocks raised wards around the city. We can’t get in or out. They’re expediting the trial, they want to have it done as soon as possible.”

Isabelle clasps a hand over her mouth. “Fuck,” she mutters. “Raj, you know he didn’t betray anyone, right?” She sounds small and vulnerable, and Magnus can’t tell how much of that is an act.

“I don’t like Bane, but Alec’s a good leader,” Raj says. “He doesn’t deserve this. But we can’t do anything. Come on, I have orders. We still have to get Jace and Clary.”

Isabelle runs a hand through her hair. “Give me a minute to get dressed?”

“Okay,” Raj grumbles. “But hurry up.”

Isabelle shuts the door firmly and turns back to Magnus and the others, her panic obvious on her face. “It’s too soon,” she whispers. “This can’t be happening.”

“We can’t get him out now,” Jace says. “There will be too many people. Even you can’t fight several hundreds Shadowhunters,” he adds to Magnus.

“How many of them are loyal to Alec?” Magnus asks, a plan starting to form in his head.

Isabelle bites her lip. “Enough to go against the Clave? I don’t know. Alec is well-liked, but we’re trained to respond to commands. It will be hard to go against direct orders, and many won’t be willing to risk their lives.” She steps back into her dress, quickly pulling it over her body.

“Even if the Inquisitor condemns him for something they know he didn’t do?” Magnus asks.

Jace takes a breath. “Alec is their Head. I’m the Inquisitor’s grandson. If we can show them another path, a clear way for them to follow us without too much danger…”

Isabelle’s eyes light up. “Since Alec became Head, we’ve had a lot of Shadowhunters requesting to be assigned to the Institute because they’re unsatisfied with the Clave, for a variety of reasons. Most of them will see that this whole trial is a sham. And even an expedited trial will take days, days we can spend convincing them. If we time it right, I’d say we can get...maybe a third of them to help.”

“If we time it right?” Clary repeats.

“If they sentence Alec to death,” Magnus understands in a breath. “It has to be last resort. If I can just get Alec out—”

“They’ll chase you wherever you go, and it will paint you in the worst light,” Jace says. “If they can claim that you kidnapped him, it will be an all-out war.”

Before Magnus can answer, Raj pounds on the door. “Isabelle, we have to go!”

Isabelle wrings her hands in anguish and turns to Clary. “Get yourself and Jace back to your rooms before they can see you’re gone. Magnus, can you glamour yourself invisible?”

“Yes,” Magnus nods. “I have to make some calls first, secure us the support of the Downworld. I doubt the Seelie Queen will help, but Luke and Raphael will. They only agreed to this deal with the Seelie Queen because I did.”

Jace’s face contorts in anger briefly, but he doesn’t say anything. This isn’t the time. Clary draws her portal rune in the air. “Go,” Isabelle says. “I’ll see you in a minute.”

Magnus snaps his fingers to call his magic to his hand, ready for the glamour. “When you get there, start passing the word. Be discreet. I’ll handle Alec.”

As Jace and Clary walk through the portal, Isabelle gives Magnus a long look. “You saved me from being deruned once, Magnus, because Alec asked you to. I know you still love him. Can we count on you?”

“If you couldn’t, I wouldn’t be here,” Magnus says coolly.

It seems to convince her. “Then let’s do this.”

[bytheangell]

You Can’t Keep Safe What Wants to Break - Chapter 3, Isabelle & Maryse

(AO3) (Prologue) (Chapter 1 - Magnus) (Chapter 2, Alec) (Chapter 3 - Isabelle and Maryse)

It’s a rare thing for the entirety of the Lightwood family to get together for dinner these days. Robert bounces back and forth between assisting the LA Institute in getting things back up and running after Jonathan’s attack and his usual business in Alicante, and Max primarily stays with him while continuing his training. Alec lives in Alicante despite his frequent trips back to New York to keep tabs on Izzy and Jace at the Institute. Maryse, for the most part, remains out of the Shadow World entirely, though she gets enough news from her children and Luke to stay in the loop.

Izzy knows something’s up the moment Jace tells her he needs to talk to everyone at the same time, but no amount of prodding will get him to tell her why. Even Alec is acting oddly closed off, and normally she can bat her eyelashes and use her little sister charms on him no problem! Not this time. Alec starts actively avoiding her for the three days between Jace saying they’re all getting together and when they’re actually all free to meet, going so far as to reschedule a planned trip to the Institute even though he swears it’s just a scheduling conflict and not because he’s avoiding her.

She knows him well enough to know he’s lying, and she knows Jace well enough to know that he’s keeping something from her.

“Jace, should I be worried,” Izzy asks him the day before the dinner. “You know how mom and dad get when they’re in the same building as each other, is it really a good idea to make them have an entire dinner together?”

“I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t important, Iz,” Jace promises, and she can tell from the look on his face that he means it. This is important. This is serious, whatever it is.

“So important you can’t just tell me now, while I’m here?” Izzy challenges, an eyebrow raised. She doesn’t like the feeling of being kept out of the loop, and she’s anxious that whatever he has to announce at this dinner is something she doesn’t want to get surprised by. “You told Alec,” she adds as if this should automatically mean she should be in the know, too. “And don’t say you didn’t, because he’s been acting weird all week.”

Izzy waits in tense anticipation while Jace considers. She debates pushing it, really laying into the ‘you trust Alec more than me’ angle, but she thinks twice about it and decides not to in the end.

“I need somewhere private. Your room’s closer,” he relents, nodding in the direction of her room down one of the side halls and starting off without waiting for her to respond.

Izzy smirks to herself as she follows quickly, the sound of her heels quickly catching up to the thud of Jace’s boots down the long hallways of the Institute’s residential wings.

Once they’re inside her room Izzy remains patiently quiet and still while Jace takes a few moments to pace back and forth, looking at her then looking away again, before he works himself up to speak.

“I’m leaving,” he says finally. “To be with Clary.”

Izzy’s immediate reaction is joy, because what else could it be to know that Jace and Clary might get their happy ending! She’s thrilled to know that he wants to be with her even if she can’t be with them, and--

--and she can’t be with them.

Izzy’s thoughts come scratching to a halt in her head, happiness quickly shifting to disbelief. Clary can’t be here at the Institute, and she can’t be part of the Shadow World, which means if Jace is going to be with her then he can’t, either.

“You can’t,” Izzy says. “You can’t leave. We’ll figure something out. Look at all the laws Alec is working to change. He can change those rules, too, I know he can.” She’s not particularly proud of the immediately desperate tone her words take on at the realization but there’s no helping it, because desperate is exactly how she feels. Desperate to convince Jace this is a mistake, desperate to convince him to stay.

“And maybe if he does, then I can come back. We both could. But until then I don’t want to lose the next, what? Year? Two? Ten? Who knows how long that would take. Especially living this life, where I’m more likely to die on a mission before the Council changes their ruling,” Jace points out.

If that was meant to be reassuring regarding his decision it has the opposite effect. Izzy shakes her head from side to side repeatedly, like maybe if she can say no enough times she can will it into being true. She can’t accept this. She won’t. She knows she’s being stubborn but she refuses to even humor the small part of her mind that gets it on some level, already forgetting that little bit of her that immediately wanted to be happy for Jace.

“No. This isn’t something you can just… just do! You're not the sort of person who abandons their family,” Izzy snaps.

“Iz, I’m not abandoning anyone.” Jace looks tired already but Izzy doesn’t care. She isn’t about to let this go.

“Yes, you are! That’s what this is. You’re walking away from us. From me. Three go in, three come out, remember? I need you. I need you here, not off with Clary in the mundane world. We all need you here. You’re our best fighter, and with Alec in Alicante, Dad and Max in LA, and Mom exiled you’re…” Izzy’s voice softens and it takes everything in her to push the last part of this sentence out. “You’re the only family I have left here.”

Her voice breaks against her will, soft and pleading in a way she so rarely allows herself to be. She knows the words hit home because Jace’s eyes shine for just a second, full of emotion in a way he so rarely allows himself to be. They connect in that moment, deeper than they probably have in months, maybe even years. She feels a spark of hope that maybe she tugged on his heartstrings just enough for him to reconsider.

That hope is dashed abruptly with his next words.

“I’m sorry, Iz,” he says. “I’m so sorry.”

It isn’t what she wants to hear. Jace reaches out to pull her into a hug, his arms outstretched, moving slowly enough that she has time to take a step back. She does. Jace’s arms fall to his sides and he looks dejected. That exhaustion seeps back into his features.

“No,” Izzy shakes her head, taking another step backward. “No, you don’t get to apologize like you don’t have a choice. Because you do. You’re just not choosing us.”

With those parting words, Izzy turns and storms out of her room, leaving Jace behind. She isn’t sure where she’s going, she just hopes he doesn’t follow before she says anything else in her shock and anger that she might regret later. She needs to cool off. She needs to think.

Izzy takes her whip and makes sure her stele is in her pocket, then heads out into the night. Thankfully, Jace doesn’t follow her. She only makes it a few blocks into the city before turning the corner into an alleyway and leaning back against the wall, sliding down to pull her knees up to her chest. She’s in no condition to be out trying to fight anything, no matter how badly she needs the distraction.

When she gets a fire message the next morning saying he hopes she’ll come to the family dinner to hear him out properly she decides that she should - not to hear him out, but to back up her parents when they inevitably make the same points she made.

Maybe together they can get him to change his mind.

---

Maryse would have to be a fool to not know that something is up, but she welcomes everyone into her home - Robert included, though a bit more grudgingly than the others - without immediate question. The last to arrive is Isabelle, and once she’s there Jace asks if everyone could get together in the living room.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush,” Jace begins.

Maryse watches Jace closely - it isn’t often that she sees him this nervous about anything, let alone something as seemingly simple as talking to his family. She’s witnessed him address groups of Shadowhunters, speak with Clave officials, even step in as a representative during several tense Downworlder negotiations. But here, looking at the room full of family, she can see the uncertainty he’s trying so desperately to hide.

“I submitted an official request to be deruned this morning,” Jace says. “I’m leaving to be with Clary. This isn’t up for debate, no one is going to talk me out of it. I’ve taken every single detail into consideration and it isn’t a decision I make lightly. I hope… I can only hope you don’t resent me too much for it. You took me in and cared for me when no one else would. You’re… you’re my family. All of you. And I may be forced to walk away from the Nephilim but I’m not leaving you, not if I can help it.”

He turns his gaze hopefully in her direction and Maryse takes a moment to blink away the tears in her eyes she can’t quite keep away. She can’t help the reaction, not when her thoughts drift to her own de-runing, a decision made for her that she never would’ve chosen for herself in a million years. She thinks of the pain, of the social stigma, of the immense sense of loss she felt - and still feels, if she’s being honest with herself.

It isn’t something she’d wish on her worst enemies, and here’s the boy she raised as her own son, choosing this difficult path. It’s not the better life a mother wishes for her child, certainly not the one she wants for him. It hurts to imagine him suffering the way she suffered.

“You didn’t abandon us when you were deruned. So I know I don’t have to, either. I can make this work just like you did,” Jace says.

“Oh, Jace,” Maryse sniffles slightly, keeping the majority of her composure. “I kept a lot from you kids when that happened to me. I know I seemed fine, but…”

Jace nods. “I know. I know it isn’t going to be easy.”

You don’t, Maryse thinks. You have no idea, you sweet, sweet boy. But she doesn’t get the chance to say it before Robert cuts in, scoffing.

“Our numbers are lower than ever and you’re walking away from your duty? You’re a Herondale, the last of your bloodline. You have a legacy to uphold, and you’re just going to throw that all away? And all for some girl who, quite honestly, has caused us all more trouble than she’s worth?! This doesn’t sound like the boy I took in and raised as my own.”

Maryse hears the slight intake of breath beside her from Alec, chancing a glance at her eldest to see his hands clenched tightly at his sides. He isn’t stepping in to say anything, not yet, but Maryse knows that’s a courtesy he’ll only allow for so long before he goes off on Robert.

“Don’t give me that look,” Robert says with an eye-roll at Maryse’s surprised expression. “Coddling him isn’t going to do any good right now - he needs tough love.” Robert turns back to Jace. “You need someone to tell you what a mistake this is before you can’t take it back.”

“Tell him he’ll regret it,” Robert says, shifting to face her now. “Tell him how much you miss being a Shadowhunter, Maryse.”

Maryse rubs her hands over her arms, thinking of the runes that used to be there.

Of course, she misses the Institute. She misses the action and excitement of the only life she’s ever known… but she’s happy here, too. She doesn’t know if she’s happier than she would be as a Shadowhunter, but she’s still happy.

And it’s that knowledge, that hope that Jace could still find happiness outside the life of the Nephilim, that makes this news a little easier for her to digest the longer she has to sit with it. Nephilim spend their entire lives training to fight, raising their children to be soldiers first and foremost, and emphasizing that duty and tradition are the most important things. More important than love, or happiness, or personal choice. She looks at where that got her, looks at where it nearly got Alec and knows that she can’t sit here and endorse blindly following this idea of bloodlines and destiny if it isn’t what Jace wants to do.

“It isn’t my decision to make,” Maryse says, trying to sound calm and neutral. “Nor is it yours, Robert.”

“What?!” Maryse expects the outburst over her words to come from Robert and is surprised to hear it from Isabelle instead. “First Alec, now you? Dad and I can’t be the only ones in this family who care that Jace is throwing his entire future away!”

It’s obvious that Isabelle expected Maryse to agree with Robert. She almost had, if she didn’t stop to question her instinctive reaction.

“When you’re the only one on dad’s side maybe it’s time to recalculate,” Alec mutters, just loud enough for Maryse and Isabelle to hear. Maryse watches Isabelle bristle at the words as she turns to her daughter.

“Do you think my future was thrown away?” Maryse asks her daughter. “That my life is meaningless now?” There’s no malice there, no accusation. She won’t even be mad if Izzy says that she does - after all, it’d be more of a reflection on Maryse and the rhetoric she bought into and fed to her children for most of their lives.

Izzy falters and doesn’t respond. Silence fills the room in the absence of her reply, with Robert now silently fuming to the side. To everyone’s surprise, it’s Max who breaks the silence. In the immediate aftermath of Jace’s announcement, she’d nearly forgotten he was there at all, sitting quietly in the corner until now.

“You’ll still come to visit, won’t you?” Max asks quietly.

“You might have to come to me,” Jace admits, crossing over to kneel down in front of Max, taking his hands and giving them a little squeeze. “But yeah. We’ll still see each other. And I can still help you with your studies, and training. Just… not in Idris. Or at the Institute.”

Max considers that, then nods. “Like I visit mom for dinner, and sometimes she helps me with my runes!” Jace smiles. “Yes. Just like that. This isn’t anything we haven’t adapted to before, which is why I’m not sure why some of us are acting like it’s the end of the world.“

Jace stands up again before turning to divert his attention away from Max again, giving Isabelle a particularly pointed look.

There’s a long silence before anyone speaks again, and it’s Izzy who finally breaks the silence. Her voice is soft and she pauses after opening her mouth, as if reconsidering saying anything at all, before continuing.

“Because it isn’t the same. It isn’t the same and you know it. Mom’s de-runing was a punishment. She didn’t want it, and she never would’ve chosen to go willingly. But you…”

‘You’re choosing to go’ hangs unspoken in the air between the family.

“Mom didn’t go anywhere, and neither will I. I promise.” Jace follows his words with a heavy sigh.

“I get it if you hate me for this. I guess I should be thankful any of you are willing to accept my decision, but I guess I let myself get my hopes up because I really thought I’d have more support. All this talk about family and duty, except for when it comes to supporting your own, right?” Jace sighs again. He looks so much older than his years should allow, with a weight on his shoulders no one should have to carry.

Alec walks over and grabs one of Jace’s hands, giving it a squeeze. It’s the first thing he’s done since Jace started talking and everyone else said their piece. Isabelle said Alec already supported Jace, which means they already had this conversation before tonight. What Maryse wouldn’t give to be a fly on the wall for that talk. She never had a Parabatai so she can only imagine what they must be feeling.

“You got me,” Alec reassures him. “Naught but death, brother.”

The reference to their parabatai oath tugs at Maryse’s heartstrings. She’s glad that the two of them have each other, and relieved to see that no matter what may have transpired when Jace first approached Alec, Alec seems to be genuine about supporting him through this. It warms her to see that same unwavering trust and support they had from day one.

“This whole thing is ridiculous,” Robert huffs, grabbing Max by the wrist. “We can talk about this when you’re thinking clearly.”

No one stops Robert from leaving or Isabelle from following shortly after.

“Thanks anyway,” Jace tells Alec, giving him a clap on the back.

“That could’ve gone worse,” Alec points out, shooting a hesitant glance between Jace and Maryse that she pretends not to notice. Jace just gives a quick nod, a silent exchange that ends with Alec apologizing for not staying and excusing himself to go check on Isabelle.

Jace stays back after everyone leaves, and Maryse doesn’t push him to speak.

“I appreciate what you did back there,” Jace says. “I don’t know if you really believe I can do this, or if you were just saying all that to annoy Robert, but either way… thanks.”

“Of course you can do this,” Maryse tells him. “Ever since the first day you stepped through the doors of the Institute there hasn’t been a single thing you set your mind to that you didn’t accomplish.”

Now it’s her turn to hesitate, suddenly wishing the others were still around for a distraction or two before she dives into what’s on her mind.

“I have to tell you… when I got deruned it was awful. I don’t want to downplay it, Jace - it was traumatizing.” Her voice is quiet when she says it, a whispered secret she planned on covering up and taking to her grave before tonight. “I’m not telling you to scare you. I’m telling you because I did everything I could to pretend it wasn’t for the sake of you kids, but if I let you walk into it thinking you’d come out fine on the other end then I’d never forgive myself.”

Maryse shudders at the memory of it, at the knowledge of the nights she wakes up screaming over phantom pains from nightmares, or the times when her longing for that thrum of angelic power that comes with activating a rune drives her to tears or leaves her feeling like an alien in her own skin.

“I’ll tell you, if you want. I’ll be completely honest. You deserve that much because no amount of warning will really be enough, but it’s better than nothing. If you’re really, truly set on this,” she adds.

“I am. Maybe not tonight, but yeah, I might take you up on that.”

“They probably won’t let me be there when you do it,” Maryse says. “You know I would if I could.”

Jace nods. “I know. And thank you, for not siding with Robert. Even if you don’t agree with my decision, you don’t know how much it means that you let me do this.”

“I’m not letting you do anything, Jace. You’re an adult now, and your decisions are your own. I wouldn’t choose this life for you, but I can’t stop you from choosing it for yourself. And if anyone can handle the hardships that come with it, it’s you.” Maryse pauses to blink away a few stray tears. “You’ve always been headstrong, but you’re a good person, Jace. Nothing’s ever stopped you from getting exactly what you wanted in the past, and this isn’t going to be any different.”

As she talks she walks over to wrap her arms around Jace, holding him tight and speaking the last few words into the side of his neck.

“I believe in you.”

She understands Isabelle and Robert’s reactions, but she also understands that Jace is going to do this with or without their support. What Jace needs is for someone to believe in him, and if nothing else, she can give him that much.

[malecsecretsanta]

Merry Christmas, killiarious!

For @killiarious. The plot bunny got away from me, so there will be three chapters.

Read On AO3

*****

straight through the smoke

At the knock at his door, Magnus puts Madzie down on the ground, letting her run to Catarina. She’s been nervous, not quite understanding what’s going on, and she keeps randomly running up to them to hug them. The other warlocks are upstairs on the roof, in a meditative state to maintain the new wards over New York, while Magnus and his best friend stand ready to move the loft and its inhabitants to the Seelie Realm, if worst comes to worst.

He steels himself before opening the door. It’s the middle of the day, so it can’t be Raphael – Magnus just realizes now that he left him in the Institute on his own earlier this morning – and Luke texted him just a few minutes ago that he was still out on patrol. The Seelie Queen is back in her realm with her henchmen. That means that it can only be Shadowhunters.

Alec.

Magnus isn’t ready to deal with him. He’s not sure he’ll ever be ready. Alec lying to him about the Soul Sword , about something that affects Magnus so directly, the safety of his people , isn’t something that Magnus can forgive easily. He understands why Alec did it , and he thinks that with time, he could come to trust Alec again, but he can’t start thinking about it until all of this is over.

And yet he can’t help but worry. Alec is out there, with his siblings and Clary, other people Magnus has come to care for, facing against two monsters. Valentine has proved more than dangerous, and with Jonathan’s help, he may well be unbeatable.

Magnus made the choice to leave them on their own. He chose his people over Alec, and while he would do it again, while he had to do it, the guilt is still eating at him.

He doesn’t know if he feels more hurt or guilty, right now. He feels crushed, more than anything else. He struggles to focus, his thoughts permanently turning back toward Alec. The current stillness, since his warlocks raised the wards, feels like the quiet before the storm, and it has left him with too much time to think.

“What do you—” Magnus starts, opening the door with more force than necessary, but it’s not Alec behind it.

It’s Clary.

“Magnus!” she exclaims as soon as he sees her. She looks twitchy and out of sorts, looking around her before she walks into the loft, almost stepping on Magnus’ feet.

“Biscuit,” Magnus says, forcing his voice to stay cold. He’s too fond of her to be angry, but he really doesn’t want to deal with her right now.

Except that she really seems scared.

“I know I shouldn’t be here,” she says, waving her arms around nervously. “But I had to come.”

Magnus frowns in concern and gently guides her to the living room. Catarina stands up in alarm, while Madzie only looks up from the drawing she’s resumed for a second, unconcerned. Clary, with her small size and her nervousness, doesn’t make a threatening figure. Magnus discretely builds a bubble of silence around Madzie to muffle the sound of their conversations, so she doesn’t hear anything not meant for her little ears .

“Magnus?” Catarina asks suspiciously.

“Biscuit, tell me what’s wrong,” Magnus commands, making Clary sit down in the blue armchair. He waves at Catarina not to worry, but she still goes to stand closer to Madzie, straightening in a defensive posture.

Clary doesn’t even seem to notice. “ The Clave took full control of the Institute,” she says. “They...they just stormed in and declared it. They said that the New York Downworld had violated the Accords and—” she trails off, too agitated to speak.

“And what?” Magnus prompts. He feels a leaden weight of anticipation in his stomach. This isn’t good.

“They said that the Downworld Cabinet facilitated it. That Alec—” she meets Magnus’ eyes, panicked. “That Alec colluded with you and betrayed the Clave. Magnus, they’ve arrested him for high treason.”

“What?” Magnus lets out before he can even control his mouth. It feels like a punch to his gut. In all the scenarios he went through, even the darkest ones where Alec got hurt or died by Valentine’s hands, Magnus’ fears were always about the divide between them. Between the Clave and the Seelie Queen, between the Nephilim and the Downworld. Between him and Alec. He never, ever imagined Alec being rejected by his own people.

“They said things about your relationship being unnatural and contaminating the whole Institute,” Clary says sadly. “That it should never have been allowed, that he was a disgrace to all Nephilim.”

Magnus swallows hard. He’s heard these words about himself, of course. He knows how the Clave sees him – barely with any more regard than Valentine himself does. The Circle has never been a true extremist group, not when too many people in power in Alicante agree with them. But to hear this about Alec, for the heinous crime of loving him?

“Where is he now?” he asks.

“In one of the basement cells, I think,” Clary says. “They put all of us on house arrest pending investigation. That means we’re confined to our rooms, essentially. I used a portal rune to come here.”

“If they find out you’re gone—” Magnus starts.

Clary bites her lip. “I know. But I had to do something . I heard them talking. They’ve called off the search for Valentine, and they’re putting Alec on trial today. ”

Even Catarina looks shocked at that. Magnus sits down brutally, his legs no longer supporting him. He curses under his breath, if only to let out some of the unbearable tension.

“The Clave’s penalty for high treason…” he mutters.

“Is deruning, or death,” Catarina completes for him. “Magnus—”

“It wasn’t supposed to be like that,” Magnus breathes out. “I had to—I had to keep my people safe, Alec understands that—but he’s a Nephilim, he’s supposed to be safe—” He puts his face in his hands.

“Magnus,” Clary calls softly. Magnus looks up, feeling like he’s being crushed by a weight larger than him. “Before they took him away, Alec told us not to contact you. That you couldn’t do anything.”

A gainst his will, Magnus lets out a noise that sounds too much like a whimper, struggling to breathe around the knot in his throat. He bites down on his fist, trying to calm himself down .

Even facing his own downfall, Alec would think of him first.

“Then why did you come?” Catarina asks Clary, coolly. She has no lost love for Shadowhunters, and she doesn’t know Clary at all. She knows Alec, though, and she knows how much Magnus loves him.

“Because there has to be something that we can do, and Magnus is the most likely to come up with an idea. We can’t let this happen!”

“This is the Clave we’re talking about,” Catarina says. “It’s not about letting it happen. They do what they decide to do, and they have full authority on their soldiers.”

“Magnus, you defended Izzy last year,” Clary says, turning back to Magnus. “Can’t you do it again?”

Magnus shake his head, pinching the bridge of his nose. “She barely got free, and only because you had the cup as leverage. And her crime was nothing, compared to this. The Clave is corrupt from top to bottom, Alec won’t be freed by legal means.”

“Then what do we do?” Clary asks.

“Nothing,” Catarina says firmly. Magnus looks up at her, and he can see the compassion in her eyes, but she stands her ground. “There’s nothing we can do. Any move against the Clave will be a declaration of war.”

Magnus stands up and starts pacing along the bay windows. “I think we’re past that point,” he says. “We’re already at war. They’re accusing Alec of complicity in a violation of the Accords, for the sole crime of his relationship with me. They’re not trying to arrest Valentine anymore. I think we have to assume that the Circle and the Clave are working together.”

“And you want to do what?” Catarina shits her stance, putting her hands on her hips. “Storm the Institute? Go head-to-head against the entire Clave? Magnus, you have our people to think about. They’re not going to risk their lives to get Alec back. I know you love him, but is he really worth risking all of them?” she points up toward the roof.

Magnus runs a hand down his face. “I already chose them, you, over him once. I broke up with him because I thought I had to choose between being with him, and the safety of my people.” He pauses. “But that was when I thought he would be safe. This is different.”

Clary wrings her hands, looking between them.

“You’re going to put us all in danger,” Catarina says, looking at Madzie, who is still drawing quietly, oblivious to her surroundings in the way only children can be. She can’t hear them, but Magnus still watches her for a moment to make sure that she’s okay.

“No,” he says. “I’m going to get Alec out of there, but I’m going alone. You’re staying here to keep the wards up and prepare to move to the Seelie Realm.”

“The Institute’s wards have been raised against all Downworlders,” Clary warns. “My portal can probably get you in, but—”

“You forget that I am the one who built these wards,” Magnus interrupts her. “I can get through them. I can deactivate them entirely, if I need to. And no Shadowhunter can get in or out of New York right now.”

“Magnus—” Catarina starts, but Magnus glares at her before she tries to convince him not to go. His decision is already made – nothing will stop him from saving Alec’s life. Not now.

She raises her hand in surrender. “Be careful. Come back to us.”

“I will,” Magnus says. “We will.”

*

Clary’s portal brings Magnus straight to Isabelle’s bedroom, and she steps back out to collect Jace from his own. Isabelle’s red-rimmed eyes widen when she sees Magnus and she saunters up to hug him, but she hesitates at the last moment, letting her arms fall back to her sides.

“Magnus,” she murmurs.

Magnus draws her into a hug. “Biscuit told me what happened,” he says.

“I didn’t know if you’d come,” she whispers brokenly.

Magnus closes his eyes in dismay. “We broke up, but it doesn’t mean I stopped caring.”

“This morning—”

“I was angry, and I was trying to convince myself that I’d made the right decision,” Magnus explains. He’s ashamed of how he behaved at the Cabinet meeting, pretending like he barely knew them, letting the Queen speak for him. He won’t forget Alec’s lost and hurt look any time soon.

Jace and Clary come back at that moment. Isabelle gently pushes Magnus back and steps out of the hug, and Jace sends Magnus a furious glare.

“Calm down,” Magnus says. “I’m here to help.”

“Is that what you call it? Allying with the Seelie Queen? Raising wards around the city that kill any Shadowhunter who tries to leave? Leaving Alec behind?”

“I did what I had to do,” Magnus defends himself coldly. “Alec lied to me. Your people will see mine exterminated without so much as a blink.” He takes a breath to calm himself. “Alexander wasn’t supposed to be arrested. If you want my opinion, you should blame your grandmother. Your Clave.”

Jace almost lunges at him, but Clary holds him back with a hand around his waist. He glares at Magnus some more instead, then turns his back to them and goes to stand by the window.

“You have no idea how he’s been, the past few days, do you?” he says quietly. “When the Inquisitor arrived, he was training. Hand-to-hand, five on one. He refused to use iratzes between fights.”

Magnus takes in a breath. He’s known of Alec’s self-harming tendencies since the beginning of their relationship – how could he not? – but Alec hasn’t had to resort to something this bad in a while.

“Jace, that’s enough,” Isabelle says, just as quietly. “Magnus isn’t responsible for that. Alec’s had a rough year. We all have.”

Jace deflates. He’s absently massaging his parabatai rune with one hand, the other playing with a loose thread on his sleeve. “You’re right,” he says. “It’s been...a lot. And now this.”

“Magnus, I need you to know that—” Isabelle hesitates, biting her lip. “I know why you broke up with Alec, and I get it. He’s heartbroken, but he wants you safe first and foremost. He loves you more than anything.”

“Isabelle, what are you trying to tell me?” Magnus asks, guilt churning in his gut. He doesn’t have the patience for this, not right now.

Isabelle shift from foot to foot, uncomfortable. “Before they arrested him, they gave him the opportunity to renounce you. If he told them your plans and made a public announcement disavowing you and the Cabinet, they would have let him go free and even keep his job. He refused. He didn’t even hesitate.”

Magnus shuts his eyes tightly, his head pounding. “Alexander,” he murmurs in dismay.

Self-sacrificing to a fault. Even when Magnus broke up with him, made it clear that their relationship was over, Alec wouldn’t save his own skin. “He could have done it, bought us time,” Magnus mutters, opening his eyes again. “He had to know that we wouldn’t believe it.”

Isabelle shakes her head. “That’s not Alec. He’ll die for what he believes in. And you’re everything to him. Not just you, but the Cabinet too, everything he’s accomplished to make us better.”

“He once told me that his family was everything to him,” Magnus sighs.

“And you’ve become part of it,” Isabelle says. “It doesn’t matter that you’re not together right now. You’re family.” She puts a hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “That’s why we’re going to get him out. As a family.”

There’s a knock at the door.

“Shit,” Isabelle mutters. “Stay out of sight.” She stands up and, in one smooth move, removes her dress.

“What are you doing?” Jace hisses.

Magnus doesn’t bother averting his eyes. Neither he nor Isabelle are shy when it comes to nudity, and besides, she’s still in her underwear. “Buying us time,” she whispers.

She opens the door brusquely. “What?” she asks, annoyed.

“Whoa,” Magnus hears Raj’s voice. His blood boils. He has no lost love for this Shadowhunter, and if he’s working with the people trying to harm Alec— “What are you doing in here?”

“Changing,” Isabelle rolls her eyes.

“We’re supposed to escort you to the ceremony room,” Raj says. His voice isn’t as assured as it usually is. “The trial is about to start.”

Isabelle closes her eyes. “Already? Raj, what the fuck is going on out there?”

Raj sighs. “I don’t know. They said the warlocks raised wards around the city. We can’t get in or out. They’re expediting the trial, they want to have it done as soon as possible.”

Isabelle clasps a hand over her mouth. “Fuck,” she mutters. “Raj, you know he didn’t betray anyone, right?” She sounds small and vulnerable, and Magnus can’t tell how much of that is an act.

“I don’t like Bane, but Alec’s a good leader,” Raj says. “He doesn’t deserve this. But we can’t do anything. Come on, I have orders. We still have to get Jace and Clary.”

Isabelle runs a hand through her hair. “Give me a minute to get dressed?”

“Okay,” Raj grumbles. “But hurry up.”

Isabelle shuts the door firmly and turns back to Magnus and the others, her panic obvious on her face. “It’s too soon,” she whispers. “This can’t be happening.”

“We can’t get him out now,” Jace says. “There will be too many people. Even you can’t fight several hundreds Shadowhunters,” he adds to Magnus.

“How many of them are loyal to Alec?” Magnus asks, a plan starting to form in his head.

I sabelle bites her lip. “Enough to go against the Clave? I don’t know. Alec is well-liked, but we’re trained to respond to commands. It will be hard to go against direct orders, and many won’t be willing to risk their lives.” She steps back into her dress, quickly pulling it over her body.

“Even if the Inquisitor condemns him for something they know he didn’t do?” Magnus asks.

Jace takes a breath. “Alec is their Head. I’m the Inquisitor’s grandson. If we can show them another path, a clear way for them to follow us without too much danger…”

Isabelle’s eyes light up. “Since Alec became Head, we’ve had a lot of Shadowhunters requesting to be assigned to the Institute because they’re unsatisfied with the Clave, for a variety of reasons. Most of them will see that this whole trial is a sham. And even an expedited trial will take days, days we can spend convincing them. If we time it right, I’d say we can get...maybe a third of them to help.”

“If we time it right?” Clary repeats.

“If they sentence Alec to death,” Magnus understands in a breath. “It has to be last resort. If I can just get Alec out—”

“They’ll chase you wherever you go, and it will paint you in the worst light,” Jace says. “If they can claim that you kidnapped him, it will be an all-out war.”

B efore Magnus can answer, Raj pounds on the door. “Isabelle, we have to go!”

Isabelle wrings her hands in anguish and turns to Clary. “Get yourself and Jace back to your rooms before they can see you’re gone. Magnus, can you glamour yourself invisible?”

“Yes,” Magnus nods. “I have to make some calls first, secure us the support of the Downworld. I doubt the Seelie Queen will help, but Luke and Raphael will. They only agreed to this deal with the Seelie Queen because I did.”

J ace’s face contorts in anger briefly, but he doesn’t say anything. This isn’t the time. Clary draws her portal rune in the air. “Go,” Isabelle says. “I’ll see you in a minute.”

Magnus snaps his fingers to call his magic to his hand, ready for the glamour. “When you get there, start passing the word. Be discreet. I’ll handle Alec.”

As Jace and Clary walk through the portal, Isabelle gives Magnus a long look. “You saved me from being deruned once, Magnus, because Alec asked you to. I know you still love him. Can we count on you?”

“If you couldn’t, I wouldn’t be here,” Magnus says coolly.

It seems to convince her. “Then let’s do this.”

TBC on AO3!

[sh-rare-pair-exchange]

For if they return they were always yours

For @aceon-ice​

Summary: The tightness in her chest, the coiling coldness in her gut, the force in her lungs, preventing her from exhaling properly; it’s been a blessing framed as a curse, or a curse disguised in pleasure. Even now, she’s not sure.Her head is; stubborn, proud, unwilling to sacrifice another part of herself. Unlike her heart; brave, but foolish, vigorous, but vincible, always hoping, close to unhinged surety that the next person she offers it to, will not strike, crush, or break it.She longs for that someone by her side, someone she can trust, count on, be comfortable with, and know, no matter the troubles, hardships, or challenges they'll face, they won’t forsake her.

A/N: Hello AceOnIce, I chose a fic for Lydia/Izzy, because I adore them, and I hope you can enjoy this. It's my first fic where they are the main couple, and I was hesitant, scared to mess up, but I really enjoyed writing it. <3

Read it on ao3: HERE

The shine of the blade hits her eyes as she moves it to polish the other side, her motions stilling as her mind drifts to memories, treasured, but painful.

Her fingers brush long blond hair from her lover’s naked shoulder, her skin shining golden in the candle light. She trails her fingers along her spine, down to the small dent of her lower back, and follows with her lips the same path upwards again.

She can feel the tremors in her lover’s body, hear the small sounds of pleasure, even the smile on her lips. She shifts around towards her, gray blue eyes locking with her own, a hand cupping her neck, pulling her closer, and she loses herself in fervent kisses.

The tightness in her chest, the coiling coldness in her gut, the force in her lungs, preventing her from exhaling properly; it’s been a blessing framed as a curse, or a curse disguised in pleasure. Even now, she’s not sure.

Her head is; stubborn, proud, unwilling to sacrifice another part of herself. Unlike her heart; brave, but foolish, vigorous, but vincible, always hoping, close to unhinged surety that the next person she offers it to, will not strike, crush, or break it.

She longs for that someone by her side, someone she can trust, count on, be comfortable with, and know, no matter the troubles, hardships, or challenges they'll face, they won’t forsake her.

She wants someone like Magnus, or Clary, devoting themselves to her brothers, unconditionally.

No one has ever given themselves to her unconditionally, and it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth, a toxic fracture in her heart, and endless thoughts of self-doubts, and feelings of inferiority. As if something inside her is simply wrong, and somehow, everyone knows, and leaves after taking her apart, a little at a time.

Lydia was never going to be hers. Everything about them was doomed from the start. She was a typical product of The Clave. Actually, she was a rather perfect creation. And Izzy hated her, for all the obvious reasons, but even more so, for the way she saw her own faults, prejudices, and failures reflected in her.

Thanks to Magnus, Luke, Raphael, and other Downworlders, Izzy realised that she had a long way to go before she could truly pride herself in an ally. She knew she couldn’t have escaped The Clave’s visions, not her parents’, not every Shadowhunter’s she ever had dealings with, had to learn from, but she always thought she was somehow… better.

Oddly, only through meeting, and getting to know Lydia Branwell, did Izzy really see her own shortcomings, and misconceptions. She was, and still is, grateful for that. She’s done more growing in the past year, than in all her life before that.

And she realised how exhausting, and excruciating taking yourself apart bit by bit is. To be brutally honest with herself about herself, everything she’s done, and even more so, the things she failed to do.

She’s especially thankful to her friends who helped her along this harsh journey, taught her, and opened her eyes in many ways, as well as her family, and some other Shadowhunters who felt that the old ways weren’t as golden as they were made out to be.

But she hadn’t expected Lydia Branwell to be one of them. Izzy had almost playfully cursed her beauty, because even though she was determined to hate this Clave envoy with all her might, she had two very well functioning eyes, and Lydia was sheer gorgeous.

When Izzy felt particularly petty, she even cursed her for that. But things changed, too fast for her mind to catch up. Suddenly, Lydia was on their side, and with that, on the side of innocent Downworlders they wanted to protect.

Izzy was never especially good at letting hate consume her, which some said to be one of her greatest strengths, and so animosity turned into sufferance, turned into acceptance, and surprising affection.

And soon her heart throbbed the moment Lydia entered a room, talked, smiled, and accidentally, or purposely, touched her. Even when they argued, and they did that a lot. But it helped them work out their differences in many aspects, and she just felt closer, and more drawn to her.

And when she found that she wasn’t the only one who made up reasons to spend more time together, she leapt into the feeling, into her arms, and bed.

And she was determined to have no more regrets.

She feels a blissful heaviness throughout her body, permeating her wholly, arms closing around her, rolling her over on her side, her naked body pressing into her lover’s, sheen with sweat.

Soft, thin strands of blond hair are sticking to Lydia’s face, she tries to blow from her eye, her face changing into mesmerizing laughter as she fails.

Izzy grins, and caresses all of her disturbing hair away, leaning in to press a kiss on the corner of Lydia’s smiling mouth, just to be hugged tighter, and kissed harder.

“You know,” Izzy’s head is comfortable on Lydia’s warm stomach, an arm wrapped over her, Lydia’s fingers gliding through her long, unruly hair, sending prickles along her neck, down her spine, she delights in.

“We’ve spent every night together for almost ten days.” Izzy continues, not sure why this thought took hold of her, but there’s always a reason.

“Yes, we have. And it’s been good.” Lydia says, her forefinger slowly running down Izzy’s brow and nose.

“Mmmm, yeah. Wouldn’t you like it to stay this way?” Izzy asks, sudden surprise and realisation taking her breath away.

“Even if I did, Izzy, it won’t. We won’t be here forever. Nothing is ever certain in our lives, but that things will always change.”

Izzy knew she would say something like that, there was no other option, even. Not for them. And, yet, a flicker of hope for something else was born the moment she asked, now extinguished, casting a shadow in her mind, chasing away her rare moment of levity.

She never said anything regarding this topic again afterwards, knowing how Lydia would react, knowing that hearing it from her lips would hurt even more. They were… something, but not everything, and once again, she had to accept that. She just wasn’t enough, for Lydia, or anyone, or maybe, what Alec and Jace found, was simply too rare, and most other Shadowhunters wouldn’t. She had to accept it.

Even when she knew she fell in love with Lydia, completely, she still had to accept that she was the only one, and that she was the one who would have to nurture another broken heart, once Lydia broke it off, or was sent away.

Or accepted a higher position at the Institute in Rome, with a very good chance to be promoted again.

Izzy knew that it was Lydia’s greatest wish, and ambition, and that she would always choose her head over her heart, and her career over a relationship. Izzy even understood it, to a point, but it still crushed her bone-deep to hear the words.

Lydia was leaving, and she would be happy with the decision. And Izzy had no say in the matter, and she couldn’t ask her to stay, would never plead, would not show how much it hurt, more so than she had anticipated, but it may as well.

She wished her all the best, smiled somehow, and left.

That was four months ago, and a lot had changed, again, just as Lydia said. Izzy was going to be the new Head of the New York Institute, because she too, had to put her career before anything else, because, again, she was proven wrong to want something else.

She hadn’t really talked to anyone about it, but she knew her brothers, and friends, knew, and she knew she could have cried and be comforted by them, but instead, she was grateful for Jace, and Clary’s willingness to train with her every day, and Alec’s insight into her new position, as well as Magnus, and Raphael’s teachings of more she had yet to learn, wanting to be the very best role model she could be, especially for the new generation.

Izzy blinks, the shine of the blade she’s gripped in her hands before her eyes, irritating them suddenly. She inhales, exhales, and puts the blade away, then cleans her work station.

She’s been here, on her own, for the past five evenings, just cleaning weapons, thinking, trying to unravel some of the knots in her mind. She knows she’ll be okay, generally. She knows what she has to do, must put forward, and still learn, and she knows it will never end.

And maybe, the void, sometimes filled with sadness, sometimes anger, sometimes loneliness, guilt, or pride, will become smaller in time. She can’t but try, one day at a time.

The door is suddenly pulled open, Jace storming inside, his expression grave, letting her know something bad happened.

Lydia is here, and she’s badly hurt. She was brought by two Shadowhunters who had been working with her in Rome, but Izzy can’t focus on that. She races to the infirmary, Jace on her heels, blood draining from her face as she sees her lying on the white bed, her face ashen, bruised, and bloody.

“She made us promise to take her here should anything happen to her.” Izzy isn’t able to look at the other two women in the room, her brain barely catching up with their words.

There was a demon attack, a big one, and Lydia got hurt. Izzy feels paralyzed, unable to do anything but keep staring at Lydia’s face, her eyes shut. She doesn’t even know if she’s breathing.

She suddenly feels a hand on her shoulder, and becomes aware of Jace behind her. “Iz.” She shakes her head slowly, forces air into her lungs, and steps forward, her whole being trembling.

People are rushing in and out, but she hardly notices, unable to take her eyes and mind off of Lydia’s face. Izzy’s hand shivers as she touches Lydia’s wrist, to find her pulse, weak. But alive. Time loses its meaning.

She blinks, warm, dark eyes meeting hers, a soft, compassionate smile. Magnus’ hands are moving slowly above Lydia’s motionless body, light-blue magic curling around them, into her.

Izzy doesn’t know who called him, or since when he’s been here, her eyes filling with unshed tears, her chest tight with gratitude, hope, and fear. She doesn’t know if she’s breathing herself.

“Give her some time now, darling, she needs lots of rest.” Magnus leans down, kisses her head, and makes to go, but Izzy catches his hand, clutches it tightly, looking up at him, feeling small, and fragile for a moment, not knowing what to say, her lips quivering.

“Thank you.” She thinks she might break down and cry, but she doesn’t, and he smiles at her, squeezes her hand, and leaves her alone with Lydia sleeping like before.

Except, Izzy notices finally, there’s more color in her cheeks, and the cuts and bruises have healed. There’s just some crusted blood. She gets a warm, moist cloth, and carefully wipes it off of her brow, and temple, suddenly stopping as her eyes swim with hot tears.

She moves backwards, turns away and takes a few deep breaths, fighting for composure. She puts the cloth away, and sits down again on the chair she’s been occupying for hours. She just can’t seem to move away.

She startles, not having realised she’s been drifting, her eyes taking in Alec’s face, bent down next to her. She blinks, fatigue keeping her mind hazy.

“Go get some rest, Iz, I’ll sit with her.”

Izzy turns, a rush of memories clearing her mind, staring at Lydia’s face. She’s sleeping, Izzy hopes. She’s breathing. That’s all that matters for now.

“Go on.” Alec prompts her, takes her hand gently, and pulls her off of the chair. Her body feels stiff and cold.

“No, I- I want to stay, I-”

“Just for a little while, I’ll call you immediately if anything changes.” She meets her brother’s gaze, warm, concerned, probing. She nods vaguely, but she can’t agree completely.

“I’ll just take a shower, then I’ll be back.” She knows he wants to argue, but changes his mind, smiles softly, and nods.

Her shoulders sag as she leans against the closed door outside, her head low. She feels surreal, exhausted. But there’s no time to waste. She walks the halls to her room, her boots the loudest sound around a quiet institute. It’s 1am, she notices as her gaze passes a clock, but she doesn’t care for that.

She strips, fastens her long, straight hair in a high bun, and steps under the warm water. She waits for a minute, turns it hot, waits another minute, and turns it cold, the shudders all over her body waking her up more.

She hasn’t really been able to think, but now, as she’s lathering soap over her body, her mind wanders to the start. To those Shadowhunters that brought Lydia here. She made us promise to take her here if anything happened to her.

It’s more than unusual, curious. Why would Lydia make them promise that? Why would she want to come here? It’s too strange. She can’t ask them now, as they had to leave right away. She wonders how their superiors reacted to their report. Or why no one tried to contact them - or, they might as well have, but no one told her. That’s more likely. She doesn’t care right now.

She only cares for Lydia to open her eyes, and talk to her. Explain. Just as long as she’ll be okay. Izzy rinses herself, steps out, grabs a towel and flings it around her body, walking back to her bedroom to find some casual, warm clothes.

She glances at her bed for a moment, but even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t be able to sleep. Instead she takes her stele and activates her runes to get herself through the night awake.

She slips into sneakers, fastens her hair in a neat ponytail, and heads back to the infirmary. Alec looks up, not really surprised to see her back so soon. He would do the same, be the same, so he has no leeway to reprimand her, anyway.

He stays with them for a while, quietly. She knows she could talk if she wanted to, and there are things she might want to ask him, should even, but she really only wants to stay here like this. Not talking, listening to Lydia’s quiet breathing, watching her chest rise and fall.

At some point she reaches for her hand, and tenderly takes it into hers. Her skin feels warmer, not as clammy as before. Izzy feels relief. But she has to wake up, yet.

She sends Alec home after an hour, promising to let him know if anything happens, or if she needs him. She should be the one to be here with her. She wants to be, needs to be. No matter the outcome.

~~~

She becomes aware of something touching her hair, startling her into an upright position. She didn’t exactly fall asleep, but put her head down next to Lydia’s torso, closing her eyes, her mind drifting here and there.

Newborn daylight floods in through the windows, but Izzy blinks several times, though Lydia’s eyes are open, focused on her, her fingers slightly touching her hand.

“You’re awake!” Her mind is excited, anxious, suddenly on overdrive, trying to tell her what to do, what to think, but all she’s able to do is stare at her.

“I am.” Lydia’s voice is rough, and quiet, but alert, and Izzy knows she knows who she is, and where she is, and probably also what happened.

“Are you hurting?” It’s all Izzy can ask while she’s trying to catch up. Her mind is reeling, and there is so much she wants to know, but she has to reign herself in, one thing at a time.

Lydia thinks for a moment, her body moving lightly in places under the blanket. “A little sore, much better than I should be. Magnus?”

Izzy just nods, unable to take her eyes off of Lydia’s face. She’s not as white as the pillow case, but still paler than she usually is. But she will be alright. She’s really… okay.

Izzy can’t prevent herself from grasping Lydia’s hand, holding it tightly in both of hers, for a moment unable to breathe. She exhales slowly, her chest aching.

“I’m sorry for the trouble, I’ll make sure to apologize to everyone.” Lydia sighs softly as her head slinks deeper into the pillow, her gaze falling away.

“It’s fine, you don’t have to worry about that, just- why?” She didn’t mean to end her sentence here, but she’s overcome with so many thoughts, and emotions, and she wishes she could keep a cool, calm head right now, but all of this has gotten to her a lot more deeply than she realized, and inwardly she’s stiff, and trembling.

Lydia licks her lips, and Izzy thinks she should get her something to drink, but her hands are gripping Lydia’s, and she can’t seem to let go.

“I’m sorry.”

Izzy doesn’t understand, and she hopes Lydia will explain everything, right now, or she might burst. She shakes her head, slow growing desperation winding up her stomach, chest, and throat.

Lydia clears her throat, shifts her head slightly, and glances up into Izzy’s eyes. “It was my last day, I wasn’t going on any more missions, but they came out of nowhere.” She swallows with some effort, and Izzy knows she needs water, that she should get her some, but her words are stuck in her brain, and she’s unmoving.

Her last day? She doesn’t comprehend anything anymore.

“I hoped to see you again, whatever happened.” Her voice sounds hoarse, and she’s coughing lightly, shaking Izzy out of her stupor. She turns quickly, glad the table with the water is within her reach, grabs the jug and fills a glass while keeping hold of Lydia's hand.

Lydia takes the offered glass from her, and, propping herself into a more upright position, slowly swallows half of it. She gasps, sighs, and sinks back down, giving the glass back.

“Thank you.”

Izzy puts it away quickly, and gathers her thoughts. “I still don’t understand, are you saying you-”

“Quit. I quit.” Lydia’s eyes are trained on hers, and Izzy feels a shudder rushing all along her spine. What?!

“I told them that I would come back to New York, and that they had no say in it but to accept my decision.”

Izzy notices the tiny, sad smile in Lydia’s eyes, and somehow, she still doesn’t understand anything. “But you wanted to leave, you are determined to have your own institute.” So, why would she ever want to come back? Why would she get in trouble with The Clave?

“I was- am, but… I found out I’m also a fool. Just like Jace said.” She’s smiling a little more, coughs again, and Izzy is fast to help her up, stroking her back gently until Lydia gives her a nod, and she carefully lets her lie down again.

“Jace?” Izzy’s mind, and heart, are all over the place.

“He said I was a fool to leave, and Clary agreed. Alec didn’t say anything, but he gave me that look of his, you know, the one that makes it very clear he thinks you’re wrong. I understood their view, but I wanted to be right. I needed to be.”

She sighs softly, and reaches out her free hand towards Izzy’s face, her fingertips tracing her chin. “Max once said that he liked having me around because you were always smiling when I was there. I had forgotten about that, but I had many sleepless nights, and I remembered. But I still needed duty, and career, and hard work, to determine my life, and my future. That’s what I thought, despite everything I had witnessed from all of you, I couldn’t let go of that part of me. I was too scared to, I was even ashamed, and I didn’t fully understand why.”

She drops her hand, and closes her eyes for a moment, visibly emotional, and exhausted. Izzy is letting her words process inside her mind. But she’s too scared herself, to come to a conclusion on her own, she needs Lydia to tell her everything.

Lydia opens her eyes, and focuses again. “Sorry, I feel a little dizzy, but I’m alright. All I wanted was to see you again, and talk. I didn’t expect it to be like this, but it’s maybe more than I deserve.”

She shifts a little, seeming in discomfort, but when Izzy makes a move towards her stele, she holds her back, taking both of her hands into hers. “I also realized that I needed to leave. Or I wouldn’t have understood any of this. I thought I had to fight, and defeat my emotions, my heart, but in the end, I fought, and defeated my head, and my fear, and shame, so I could come back, and be sure.”

She moves onto her elbow, upwards to be face to face with Isabelle. “I never promised you anything, because it would have been a lie, and I made sure to keep a part of us separated, because I could only allow for one outcome, for us to be apart. And I had to be away to understand everything you’ve all been showing, and teaching me, all this time. I couldn’t let it in back then. But when I was alone, finally a step further towards my goal, with every day everything felt a little stranger, until it all felt wrong. And I did try to convince myself of the opposite, but even then, somehow I knew I didn’t really mean it.”

She pauses, shifts again, and sits up properly, her long hair falling into her face, but she doesn’t let go of Izzy’s hands, merely shaking her head to make it move.

“Once I understood what was happening with me, or rather, what had happened in me, it was almost easy to let go of the set ideal of myself, and my life. And I had to agree with Jace, I was a fool.” She smiles softly, her eyes glistening.

“And I’m so sorry for making you collateral damage in my journey of finding myself, I guess. I can’t vow that I would have got here if things had been different, but I wish I didn’t have to hurt you in the process.”

She kind of slumps into herself, shutting her eyes, full of regret, and Izzy can’t but keep watching her face, so dear to her, Lydia’s words repeating over and over in her head.

She shuts her eyes, as well, gathers herself, looks at Lydia again, and slowly pulls her hands out of hers, making her startle and look at her in alarm, but Izzy soothes her quietly, and pushes her gently back down into bed, staying seated on the edge of it, her hand caressing a few strands from Lydia’s face.

“You really are a fool, a pretty great one.” Izzy smiles, her eyes burning with hot liquid.

“But I’m going to let you in on a secret.” She leans down a little, Lydia’s expression surprised, curious.

“We’re pretty much all fools here, with very few exceptions.” She smiles softly amidst realising what Lydia has been saying. She came back, she wants to stay here, she doesn’t want to be the head of some institute, she wants…

“But some of us have followed our hearts, and weren’t led astray. So, is that what you’re saying?” She leaves her hand covering Lydia’s jaw and cheek, piercing her gaze, needing certainty, because she knows her own heart, and who she wants the last person to be to give it to, and take care of.

Lydia’s eyes widen slightly, and Izzy can feel both of their hearts beating faster in the space between them, and she’s hoping, trusting it completely, to not make an even greater fool of herself.

Lydia exhales suddenly, her lips curling into a lovely smile, her eyes shining. She nods. “It would be an honor to rank amongst the fools at the New York Institute.” They’re both giggling quietly for a moment, tension falling off of them, tired, surprised joy remaining.

Lydia turns her head, cupping Izzy’s hand on her face with her own, kissing her palm, inhaling her scent, her eyes closed.

Izzy’s fighting with a sob, deep down still a little apprehensive, not yet able to chase every last shadow of doubt from her.

Until she locks eyes with Lydia once more. “I missed you.” And Izzy hears the pain in her voice, sees it in her eyes, and before she can say anything else, she leans down, touching her lips, kissing her sweetly, until Lydia’s arms fold around Izzy’s body, and she’s suddenly moved down and around, almost falling off of the bed, if not for Lydia holding her close, side by side.

“I’m not letting you go again.” Lydia smirks slightly, and Izzy, though concerned for her not fully recovered state, can’t but smile, and give in, wrapping her arms around Lydia in return, their noses brushing together.

“Then you better never scare me like this again.” She gives her a reproachful look, and Lydia’s expression softens. “I’ll do my best.”

Izzy has to be satisfied with that. “I have some news to tell you, as well.” She smiles a little, leading her mind to a safer topic, but for a split second, a crack opens inside her, fear striking her. What if she already knows I’ll be the new head of the institute, and that’s why-

“What is it? I haven’t heard any news in forever, tell me.” Lydia’s words close the crevice immediately, calmness, and happiness settling inside Izzy’s body, warming her from deep within.

“It’s not that important right now. I’ll tell you later.” She smirks, and Lydia seems regretful for barely a moment as their lips slide together, hands stroking over one another’s body, tangling through hair, and caressing the little skin that’s revealed.

Izzy feels Lydia’s lips wandering along her cheek, soft caresses, and touches, to her temple, eyebrow, and forehead, suddenly whispering right above her ear, her breath stuck, her heart stuttering.

“I love you, Isabelle, for certain.”

A tear slips from Izzy’s eye, every part of her brimming with bliss too vast to comprehend, but, finally, she feels that she’s enough, because this feels right, like she’s been found, finally able to let go of everything else.

[noxstellacaelum]

No, it’s not just because the guy is hot ... and other BS about a female fan base (Looking at you Veronica Mars and Shadowhunters)

So, I suck at Tumblr.  I changed my name and suddenly all of my links are broken.  A friend asked me to repost this when she could not find it, so apologies for round 2.

I wrote recently about how filtering female characters through the male gaze can cause a project’s “center of gravity” to shift away from the agency and autonomy of female characters. This is how we end up w/ stories where women are there (narratively) to be pretty arm candy, or objects of sexual desire, or romantic partners (half a ship) vs characters who shape their own romantic and life choices. This is how we get female characters subjected to endless, pointless pain and trauma — usually sexual assault/ rape narratives (GoT, Veronica Mars). Or female characters who sacrifice endlessly and forgive every transgression, so that a man can be redeemed/ understood/ forgiven. (Why else would Buffy forgive Spike?) As I said, I don’t think every silly, guilty pleasure TV show or movie has to be a feminist icon story. Men can tell good stories about women. And give me flawed, complicated, nuanced characters and relationships any and every day of the week. I prefer truthful storytelling, not a kind of hagiography w/a side of feminism for my female characters.

Still, I had to just shake my head — after gagging on my coffee — when I saw the recent TV Line article quoting a senior executive at HULU as saying that the negative reaction to the ending of S4 Veronica Mars was A-O-K b/c it was a testament to how much people love the show. And, that the end was all part of RT’s super-well-thought-grand-plan to make VM into a noir detective show where Veronica solves random mysteries in random places and has no friends, no family, no relationships — having been an asshole to everyone in S4. Never mind S4 Veronica’s questionable detective skills, as evidenced by her failure to figure out who was behind the bombings until it was too late. Yeah. Whatever.

Of course, I didn’t stop at the article. I had to look at the comments. The official RT fanboy line appears to be that people who hated the ending are basically weak, stupid (heterosexual, I guess) girls who are upset that we won’t get to look at Jason D’s abs anymore. Apparently, we just don’t understand RT’s art and vision. Sad, really.

And so it goes. Once again, female fans are reduced to unthinking, stupid, crying hordes upset when we don’t get our happily-ever-after.

This is such complete and total bullshit. I hated all of S4 Veronica. VM in S4 is an unrecognizable asshole. She mocks Logan for seeking help for his PTSD. She misses or ignores her dad’s health crisis. She’s casually racist. She randomly uses drugs w/ strangers. She’s terrible to her friends (Weevil). And she’s the worst detective ever. Killing Logan off as some kind of suffer porn for VM was just one more piece of the shitty story telling that was S4. Especially since there was zero narrative explanation of how or why smart, gritty teenager Veronica fell into the abyss of self-loathing, self-absorption and cruelty that defines her in S4.

To my mind, though, the mansplaining from HULU, RT and crew is one of many examples of how Hollywood dismisses female fans along with female characters. In addition to Veronica Mars, I’ve written about how Shadowhunters TV betrayed both its female characters and many of its female fans. And, just as happened w/ Veronica Mars, when people objected, the show runners and their shills told us that we didn’t understand the showrunners’ art or storytelling; that we were upset bc not all of the couples got a wedding, that fan fiction could sort out the narrative mess left after the finale. As if completely sidelining the protagonist and her romantic partner, then tacking on a rom com meet cute at the end, made it all ok.

It wasn’t OK. It was BS. And, depressingly, not a surprise when one examines how the show treated its female characters and fan base all along.

- Cassie Clare, the author behind the six book series, has hinted on her Tumblr blog that from the very beginning, the male producers and show runners behind the TV adaption did not value her heavily female fan base. The show even added a lot of computers/ tech (explicitly NOT canon in the Shadowhunters universe), and made a character a police officer (not a bookstore owner) when it launched to attract an older male audience according to Clare. (Apart from the non-canon aspect of computers, stereotyping much on who likes tech?).

More importantly, the storytelling around female characters, and the treatment of their sexuality, showed the lack of regard the show had for female characters and their fans. Where to even start:

- The show aged-up the characters — which I am totally on board with — but then cast an actor who is only six years older than Matt D. (he played Alec) to play Mayrse, Alec’s (and Izzy and Jace’s adoptive) mother. 6 years!?! There are plenty of skilled, age appropriate performers one could have picked. Don’t tell me that casting decision was the product of anything other than the male gaze.

- Book Mayrse is a complicated and not always likeable character. Totally cool. Show Mayrse exists in S1 of SHTV for the sole purpose of being bigoted and homophobic re Alec (with a side of slut-shaming for her daughter Izzy). Then, in S3, she exists solely to punished (w/ a random de-rune-ing) and then redeemed for her homophobia by becoming “captain of the Malec ship.” S3 Mayrse seems to be entirely unaware that she has other children. Not Izzy. And not depressed, and suicidal Jace. A more richly observed character who is a mother would not act this way.

-Book Izzy is sexy and body positive. And a formidable warrior. Awesome. Show Izzy is often reduced to slutty eye candy in S1. She’s turned into a drug addict in S2. And, then, in S3 and the finale, she’s charged w caretaking duties for Jace (bc the show ignored the parabatai bond bw Alec and Jace and Mayrse was absent, as noted above). And, in the climactic fight scene, she’s disarmed by Clary (who had been training for a couple of months at that point) and needs to be saved by Simon, her non-Shadowhunter soon to be boyfriend. Simon is hugely heroic in the books, as is Clary, but their heroism is not at the expense of, or in place of, Izzy’s strength and heroism. (Or, maybe it’s that show Simon saves show Izzy from show Clary that’s the problem: book Izzy would not have been bested by Clary, book Clary never would have attacked her friends and chosen family, and the dark Clary made zero narrative/ emotional sense.

- Clary, the protagonist, is wholly sidelined in 3B and the finale. I won’t go down this rabbithole again, except to say that the show’s decision to strip Clary of her entire narrative arc — her mother, her father figure, her memories, her magic, her identity her chosen family, and her love — deeply, deeply betrayed the character and her fans.

- And, as I’ve written before, the dark Clary storyline seemed more about putting Kat M. In sexy clothes and having her act in a sexually aggressive way toward Jace (let’s call it what it was - the show hinted that she went down on Jace in a club while Jace was distraught over losing Clary and basically roofied) (bc sexually aggressive women are either slutty or evil on SHTV, I guess.). It made no sense.

-The whole Climon storyline was cringe worthy, and her weird shame-y commentary on Jace’s past sex life made no sense either.

- Maia hooking up w/ Jace behind a bar, and forgiving her attacker.

The list goes on and on.

I am sick and tired of Hollywood reducing female characters and female fans to unsophisticated, silly, shallow people looking only for the love of a (generally straight white) man. I am sick of shows sacrificing female characters and their fans to tell stories about other characters, even when those stories are worthy. (We shouldn’t have had to choose between, say, Magnus, Alec and Malec, and Clary, Jace and Clace.). I am sick of characters and fans serving as a mirror or vehicle for other characters’ stories.

Female fans watch TV. We buy movie tickets. We participate in fandoms. Stop telling us that we should be content w/ scraps from the storytelling table.

[faejilly]

Not to be suddenly serious on your completely justified salt re: Jace -> my salt was bc s1 Jace was insufferable and frustrating!! Every time I really truly wanted to let it go or maybe cut him some slack bc I'm not entirely unsympathetic to him, he somehow managed to double down on his bs :/ Like I was willing to move on from him acting pissy when werewolves took Clary and the infamous 'maybe your mom..." in 1x05, but he, no, he dropped "yes, you did. you lost her" when Alec said he didn't do

anything Jace hadn't done before. What is worse this shit was followed by his entitled self-righteous behavior in 1x06 like you don't get to treat Alec crappy and then demand his help and act as if he's supposed to simply come around (unpopular opinion but I don't like their scene at the end of 1x06). And this is only one example! Thus, I'm like Alec's punches, verbal and actual ones alike, were lethal and brutal and I'm not unsympathetic to Jace but his stupid dumb ass had it coming

[re: this post]

I mean

I agreed with your salt the first time nonny, but

Like

The show tells us that Jace loves Alec and would die for him. It tells us that he’s a good Shadowhunter, an excellent fighter and a valued soldier. That means that for everyone to believe such things (and they clearly do), historically he gets the job done, values the parabatai bond itself (we see that he was the one who pushed for it, in fact) and regularly protects Alec to the best of his ability. The show explicitly tells us all these things, makes it clear that’s how everyone else views their relationship, that that past is both well-known and well-supported by the other characters’ behavior.

Does the show actually show us any of that beyond a few brief moments in s1? No. But. It’s not, on a technical level, a very good show. It frequently says one thing and shows something else and clearly never notices the disconnect.

SO

This means, if we’re stupidly invested in the characters (like I am, obviously) we need to look at the show and decide what we think canon was trying to say, whether that’s actually what it said or not.

Where does that leave us with Jace?

You can absolutely look at canon and decide Jace is a spoiled asshole who they’d mostly be better off without. (Obviously that’s not where I ended up, but you do you, darlings. It’s ok to hate the fictional character, god knows there are a ton of them I think their assorted media would be better without.)

Is he a con artist who wants to be thought of as a good man and has somehow fooled the entire NY Institute with his charm and ability to kill things? (Jace would say yes, he has several moments where he refers to himself as irredeemable, or monstrous, or dark, or useless. He believes he’s a terrible person.) This is, tbqh, supported by a lot of his behavior towards Alec, he’s lashing out and cruel and dismissive in a way that is very hard to watch, and doesn’t seem to actually have much to do with Clary at all, even though she’s positioned as the reason for this behavior. (I think, instead, she is, as usual, the catalyst for change rather than the cause.)

But Alec and Izzy clearly adore him, and they’re not generally tolerant of cruelty.

So what the fuck is he doing?

Jace was an abused child, who’s still very young, and is aggressively against any sort of self-assessment or self-reflection, because he’s sure if he looks too closely he’s going to see that he’s a monster, that his father broke him, that there’s no coming back from that. (And in some ways, he’s right, he’ll never know what it’s like to be a person who wasn’t abused, and for as long as he tries to pretend it doesn’t matter, he’s never going to be able to set it aside.) So he doesn’t, on any deep level, know who he is. He relies on other people to define himself. (He relies on Alec, and then Izzy, and then the rest of the Lightwoods, and after that maybe everyone else, but clearly they’re not that important.)

I think, based on how angry he is when Simon tries to call out his behavior towards Alec, how confused he is when Alec isn’t just always there at his shoulder for whatever insanity he’s trying to do next, Jace’s entire life is framed around an idealized version of Alec as his center.

He doesn’t really relate to Alec as a person. Alec is his proof of humanity. Alec is his parabatai, they share souls, Alec is the reason Jace isn’t entirely a monster.

Just mostly.

Now, Jace knows Alec is gay. Jace cannot deal with that fact, because Shadowhunters are not allowed to be gay. Jace seems aware of this in a way that Isabelle isn’t, seems aware that if Alec is forced out of the closet that he could lose his brother, his anchor, his soul-bond.

And I like to think it’s because of Michael Wayland.

The show never addresses this, but the books do, and we know everyone making the show read the books, so. We have Jace, who knows his “father” was Robert’s parabatai, (that’s why he got sent to the Lightwoods after his father’s death, after all) and also that, despite being parabatai, they weren’t together anymore. Their bond was so weak Robert didn’t even know when Michael died. (He can’t have, or Valentine’s masquerade never would’ve worked.) It’s not an entirely unreasonable leap to assume Jace would’ve wanted to know why, how such a thing happened to a literal soul-bond... and that he found out that Michael was gay, and that was probably why he’d been “exiled” away to his estate. Whether Michael self-exiled to get away from Robert’s reaction, or Robert discreetly ‘encouraged’ him to get away from The Clave kind of doesn’t matter... the end result was that Jace was alone in the Wayland Estate (with a monstrous father) for the first ten years of his life, and he can’t let that happen again, not to himself, and not to Alec.

(Is this in canon anywhere? No, but it fits, and I like it, so.)

If Alec admits he’s gay, Jace will lose him. So Jace can’t let him do that. Which means he clearly can’t ever address Alec’s infatuation with him, either. Which means a lot of conversations about emotions or friendship or personal beliefs can’t be had, because Jace is always almost as much on guard against Alec’s secrets as Alec is, and every time they don’t talk about any of the things they know about each other, that’s another layer of armor between them and the truth (and a better relationship).

But that’s ok with Jace because he’s doing it for Alec. (Whether it seems like that to Alec himself or not.) Alec is the one who made sure the Lightwoods were Jace’s family, not just a place to stay. Alec saved him, from his father, from his past, from a future where he never did anything right.

There’s a line when they’re outside the City of Bones, when Alec is asking Jace why this girl? and Jace says something about Lightwoods take in strays, don’t they? And he is so clearly trying to be a Lightwood, (not just Jace Wayland), trying to do for Clary what Alec did for him, making that behavior an explicit compliment to Alec. (I am being like you.)

And instead of affirming that, yes you’re a Lightwood, yes you’re doing the right thing, yes you’re saving someone, I’m so proud of you, Alec says you’re nothing like her.

Now, Alec says “you were never a stray” because protecting Jace & Izzy is important enough to him that he’s afraid of protecting Clary, because it’s going to put Jace & Izzy in danger. He’s saying you’re better than her, you’re more important to me.

But what Jace hears is you’re not doing the same thing, you’re not doing the right thing, you’re not like me.

And for all there’d been sniping and aggravation earlier, for all Jace met Clary and went ooooh, shiny, and made a whole slew of reckless decisions, I really believe that that moment outside the City of Bones is when their relationship broke. (Which makes the fact that the physical conflict in their relationship breaks free outside the City of Bones as well several episodes later surprisingly poetic.)

So now, for the first time, Alec disagrees with Jace, and Jace can tell he’s serious about it... and Jace thinks he’s wrong. And Jace doesn’t know what to do with that. (If Alec is an ideal rather than a person, than Alec can’t do anything wrong, and Alec going along with all of Jace & Izzy’s shenanigans must mean they weren’t that wrong either, not that Alec is too over-protective and has massive issues regarding responsibility and self-esteem and personal value.)

When someone falls off the pedestal you’ve put them on, it’s only human nature to blame them for failing you, rather than realize that pedestal wasn’t fair and you’re the one who put them up there, and pushed them off again when they couldn’t meet your impossible expectations. So Jace lashes out, because how dare you, the only person I could trust and respect unconditionally, be wrong!

Which is egregiously unfair, so I agree, he deserved Alec practically trying to kill him, though it’s obviously horrifying that that’s how far it had to go for him to realize what he was doing.

But it’s not surprising, both because of his inability to look at himself and that pedestal he’s got Alec on... it would take something cataclysmic to break through both those mindsets.Which is why it took Clary breaking the entire Shadow World to also break their issues out into the open. They were both too well-guarded to do it themselves.

[ssa-montgomery]

It All Started With A Coffee Chapter 2

Word Count for this chapter: 2825

Story Summary: Magnus Bane decides that running a quiet coffee shop is a better idea than the loud nightclub Pandemonium, it just happens that it has the best coffee in Manhatten and Alec needs an escape when his parents come to town. Magnus is happy to let the young Shadowhunter hang out at his coffee shop for most the day and even starts to enjoy his company. When things go even more downhill than usual with his family and Alec opens up to the Warlock they start to grow closer, and it’s totally just a coincidence if they run into each other at the Institute right? More importantly, his parents won’t notice, will they?

Characters in this chapter: Magnus x Alec, Izzy x Simon, Clary x Jace, Maryse Lightwood x Robert Lightwood, Maia Roberts (Mentioned), Max Lightwood (Mentioned)

Warnings: Fluff, Arranged marriage, Angst, Swearing, Clave being Homophobic, Fighting, First Love, Injury, Blood, Maybe future smut (? not decided yet)

A/N: Chapter two is finally here! I hope you enjoy this. It’s a little longer this time around and I hope it turned out okay :) Thank you for all the support on the first chapter! For those of you who asked, yes this is available on AO3 you can find it here.

Feedback is what motivates me to work so please let me know what you think! Reblogs are also greatly appreciated.

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"So you're parents live in Idris permanently?" Clary asked. They were standing around a table in the middle of the Ops Center that was starting to fill with more and more Shadowhunters, the chatter around them growing louder. The Institute was preparing for the arrival of the Lightwoods and the Shadowhunters were now setting the finishing touches. Alec could sense the tense energy in the room as it got closer to the time of arrival. Alec himself had been on edge since the day before. The thought of his parent's visit constantly playing in the back of his mind. It had been a few months since he had last seen them and he hadn't made an effort to keep in contact apart from a few fire messages to his mother.

"Yeah." Jace nodded. "They live in Alicante with our little brother Max. Alicante is the main city in Idris. Well, actually it's the only city. Almost all Shadowhunters grow up there and eventually end up moving to an Institute."

"Wait, where is Idris?" Simon had now joined the group at the table taking a place next to Isabelle, who snuck a quick look at him before turning her attention back to Alec.

"It's in Central Europe actually. Between Germany, France and Switzerland. The wards keep out Mundanes, if a Mundane were to stumble across it they'd just be teleported from one border to the other." Alec explained pulling up a map on the digital surface of the table in front of them. In the centre of Europe just like Alec had said there was a country outlined with a golden border.

Before anyone could say anything else the sound of the heavy front door being pushed open echoed around the room. Alec turned around to see Robert and Maryse walking into the entryway of the Institute. Maryse was wearing a long well fitted blue dress, her black hair - it was the same shade all the Lightwood children had which always made Jace stand out among the group with his golden hair - pulled back into a ponytail. It was how Alec was used to seeing his mother but there was something different about her today. Maryse had always had a certain confident air about her but now it was gone. Dark circles stood out under her eyes, her shoulders were slouched forward and her fingers were twisting the silver ring on her finger, the Lightwood family ring. Alec could recognize the pattern of flames, the family emblem, on the band and the letter L carved carefully into the top.  

"My children." She beamed letting her hands fall to her side and straightening her shoulders, within seconds any sign of her previous nervousness melted away.

Maryse advanced quickly across the room weaving her way through the Shadowhunters that had surrounded her husband at the door and were now filling him in on the status of the Institute. Alec was the first to step away from the table to greet his mother and allow her to pull him down into a tight hug. She gave him a squeeze before pulling away to hug Izzy and Jace.

"Hi, mom." Izzy smiled when Maryse let her go. Alec watched how Izzy tucked her hair behind her ears, one of her habits when she was nervous.

"Maryse." Jace nodded a grin spreading across his face. Looking over his shoulder he held an open hand out to Clary who happily laced her fingers with his and moved forward to stand next to him. "I'd like you to meet-"

"Clary Fairchild. I could have sworn Jocelyn was standing in my institute. You look just like your mother." Maryse finished for him. Alec knew his mother had known Jocelyn from her time in the circle but he could never tell if they had been close. Maryse rarely talked about that time and when she did her expression was guarded and gave nothing away.

Robert had now managed to detach himself from the group of Shadowhunters at the door to come to greet his family.  Alec couldn't help but notice the distance between his parents, Robert moved to stand next to Isabelle and Maryse was now standing on the other side of the table talking with Clary. They had barely looked at each other since they arrived. Isabelle had worshipped their father ever since they were children but Alec, not so much. Alec never had a perfect relationship with Robert and it had only gotten worse as he got older. He had accepted long ago that he could never live up to what his father wanted from him.

"Oh!" Izzy whirled around suddenly remembering that Simon was at the table. He was standing behind Clary as she talked to Maryse, his eyes focused on his shoes like they were the most interesting thing he had ever seen. "Mom, Dad this is Simon Lewis. He's Clary's best friend."

Maryse smiled warmly at him and extended her hand to him. Simon shook her hand hating how formal it felt. He was used to Clary's mom who had woken up to Simon sitting in her kitchen so many times that she no longer questioned it. Maryse, on the other hand, was watching him with questioning eyes.

"The Daylighter. I had heard Clary was fond of you." Robert's voice was tight as he spoke, his arms crossed firmly in front of his chest.

"Robert." Maryse shot her husband a cold, warning look.

"I better get going, I have a meeting with the Shadowhunters who were sent over from Idris last week." Robert turned away from the group without another word and disappeared down the long corridor on the opposite side of the room.

"And I would love to talk more with my children, why don't we go to Alec's office?" Maryse asked. "Clary, Simon you are both welcome to join if you like."

"Thank you Mrs Lightwood but Simon and I promised Luke we'd meet him at the Jade Wolf to help out with some stuff. It was great to finally meet you." Clary said.

"It was lovely to meet you both. Give my regards to Lucian Greymark."

Once Simon and Clary had said their goodbyes the Lightwoods made their way to a large room at the end of the nearest corridor. It had become Alec's office now that he was Head of the Institute. Alec was given the position when Maryse decided to move back to Idris so Max could attend the Shadowhunter Academy there. According to the Clave, Maryse was still the official Head of the Institute but the other Shadowhunters had started to respect Alec as their leader in her absence.

"Where is Max?" Izzy asked settling on the couch opposite the wooden desk that had the detailed image that Shadowhunters were so familiar with, the Angel Raziel rising from Lake Lyn with the Mortal Instruments in hand, delicately carved into the front of it.

"Unfortunately your brother won't be joining us for a little while. He decided to stay in the Academy a little longer as the trainer from the Dublin Institute arrived and offered to coach him." Maryse explained. "I must say it's wonderful to be home and see you all."

"It's great to see you too." Jace agreed.

"I would love to spend some time with you all later to catch up, I was hoping we could maybe get some food somewhere in town."

"We could go to the Hunters Moon!" Izzy suggested. "I can call Maia and get her to reserve a table for us."

"Yeah sounds great." Alec nodded.

"Jace please invite Clary if you would like, I'd love to talk to her more. Oh and Isabelle, you seem rather fond of that Lewis boy, you could ask him along as well."

A slight blush covered Izzy's cheeks at the mention of Simon but she shook it away quickly. "Of course, I'll ring Maia now and get us that table."

"Right well, I should probably join your father in that meeting. I shall see you all for dinner." With that Maryse excused herself from the room and each of the Lightwood children left after her heading off in their own directions to get ready.

"Hey, Alec!"

Alec stopped just outside his room and turned away to see Izzy following him down the hall. "What are you doing until dinner?"

"I'm running to change now and then I'm heading out for a while. I'll meet you back here to go to the Hunters Moon later."

"Where are you going?" Izzy questioned, her eyes narrowing, it wasn't like her brother to go out unless one of them was dragging him to something.

"Out." Alec shrugged.

                                                       ~~~

Alec pushed open the door to the coffee shop and ducked in out of the cold air outside. The shop was quiet again today, the only other customers were a Mundane woman who was lost in the writing on the laptop in front of her, quickly tapping at the keyboard and a Seelie. The Seelie had dark green hair that at first glance seemed to have small white flowers weaved through it but Alec quickly realized the flowers were growing out of the strands of her hair. Magnus, who had previously been leaning against the Seelie's table glanced over his shoulder when he heard the door swing open. Alec's trained senses caught the way Magnus's lips curved into a grin for a split second before he spun away from the table and walked around the counter.

"What can I get you, pretty boy?" Magnus asked resting his elbows on the worktop.

"Um, just a black coffee thanks." Alec could feel his cheeks burning at the nickname as he awkwardly shoved his hands into his jean pockets.

"Take a seat," Magnus suggested waving a hand towards the table by the window. "I'll drop it over to you."

Alec walked over to the table Magnus gestured at and sat down. Alec watched the Mundanes hurrying by the window the outside, completely unaware of him. He was used to slipping through the crowds unnoticed with Izzy but that was usually thanks to the glamours that hid them. He wasn't entirely sure why he hadn't told Izzy where he was going when he left and he almost felt like he had lied to her. He always told his sister everything but when she had asked where he was going he had the sudden urge to hid it. Maybe it was because he didn't know why he was here.

A gentle touch on his arm pulled Alec from his thoughts. He turned his head to see that Magnus had placed his coffee in the middle of the table and was smiling down at him. Magnus slid into the seat across from Alec and pushed the mug closer to Alec.

"Is your sister not joining you today?" Magnus asked.

"Uh no." Alec shook his head. He reached over and grabbed a packet of sugar, his eyes fixed on Magnus watching him carefully. He knew practically nothing about the Warlock but yet here was, sitting across from him asking him about his family. "How did you know she was my sister?"

"I inquired yesterday," Magnus said. "I'll admit, I didn't expect to see you back in here, Shadowhunters don't tend to visit Downworlder shops that often."

"It's quiet here." Alec shrugged taking a sip of the warm liquid. "And I go to the  Hunters Moon a lot so I don't mind Downworlder places."

"The Institute chaotic at the moment? I hear Maryse Lightwood is in town, she was a handful when she was a young Shadowhunter. I imagine she still is at times." Magnus laughed.

"You knew the Lightwoods?" Alec asked. He didn't know many people who had known his parents when they were his age and any time he tried to ask what they were like back then he was quickly shut down. Alec had always been curious about what other people thought of his family, especially Downworlders. From the way Magnus was talking about Maryse it seemed he didn't know who Alec was, or more importantly who his family was. He intended to use that to his advantage.

"Yes." Magnus nodded." I've known the Lightwoods for generations."

"Oh, do you know much about the Lightwood children?" Alec's tone was calm when he spoke. He had perfected keeping his voice and expressions still when he was lying or trying to keep an advantage in a situation over the years.

"Well, I think everyone in the Shadow world has heard about the adopted one. What's his name? The attractive blonde one." Magnus dismissively waved his hand. Of course, Magnus thinks Jace is attractive Alec thought. Why did it matter what Magnus thought of Jace anyway? "Whatever his name is I've heard he's a lot to handle. Always trying to save the world from whatever great evil is looming over it. Sounds like trouble if you ask me. The girl sounds a lot like her mother when she was her age. Headstrong and passionate. She's a bit wild but I'm sure she'll settle down with time. And the eldest."

Magnus paused for a moment his long fingers tapping on the table. His nails had been painted black, the polish was scattered with small pieces of silver glitter. Alec took another drink from his mug while he waited for Magnus to continue talking. He couldn't help the nervous feeling at the bottom of his stomach. He hadn't paused for Izzy or Jace, did people not talk about him as much?

"Someone told me that the eldest has a thing for older Warlocks that run coffee shops but that's probably just a rumour."

Alec burst out into a coughing fit, the coffee he had been drinking burning his throat as he tried to catch his breath. His face was burning even more than the inside of his throat, a dark red colour now covered his features. Magnus let out a laugh, head tipped back, his eyes crinkling at the corners. Alec turned his head away hoping Magnus hadn't already noticed his blush. The Seelie girl Magnus had been talking to before was now glaring at Alec, she shoved her chair back and made her way out of the shop. Alec guessed she had been looking for Magnus's number but had quickly realized he wasn't interested in her.

"Honestly Alexander, did you really think I wouldn't know who you are? I'm the High Warlock, it's part of my job to know the Shadowhunters that run the Institute in my area. I'll admit I didn't recognize you at first yesterday it was only after you left I realized who you were."

"You know my name and you don't know Jace's?"

"Ah, Jace! I knew it was something like that. You know, though he might think it, the world doesn't revolve around Jace. People are allowed to notice you too."

"Guess it just doesn't happen a lot," Alec said keeping his eyes on the table as he slowly turned his cup around in circles.

"It should."

Alec finally looked up again and met Magnus's eyes. Alec wondered what Mundanes saw when they looked at him. What colour did they think his eyes were? No matter what they saw it wouldn't compare to their natural gold that seemed to catch the light perfectly where Magnus was sitting. Alec felt almost uncomfortable under his gaze, he wasn't sure how to respond. What he said was true. He was rarely noticed especially when he was with either Jace or Izzy, being Jace's parabatai Alec had grown used to it. He had always been the friend that was close by in the shadows but was never in the spotlight. Alec was saved from responding when his phone began to vibrate in his pocket. He pulled his eye's away from Magnus and took it out to check the caller ID.

"It's Izzy."

"I'll let you get that then," Magnus said standing up and moving towards the front of the room.

"Iz. Everything alright?" Alec asked finally answering the phone.

"Yeah, I'm just calling to let you know we got a reservation. We're leaving at five." She explained.

Alec glanced up at the golden clock on the wall behind the counter. It was half four already. "Alright. I'll come back now."

Alec could feel Magnus watching him from he had settled, he was standing with his back against the wall and his arms loosely folded over his chest. Alec hung up the phone was slipped it back into his jean pocket. He picked up his mug and finished off his coffee.

"Hey Magnus, I have to go. Thank you for the coffee." Alec was now standing in front of Magnus. He pulled some money out of his pocket and held it out to him. "I'll uh, I'll see you around."

"I'll see you later Alexander." Magnus grinned taking the money out of his hand.

Taglist: @thewaywardimpala 

[basicshadowhuntersstuff]

This roundup covers May 6-18 2019. Shadowhunters news, updates, sneak peeks, and behind the scenes. All the stuff you need to stay up to date.

Official Promotion

FreeformTV: Three seasons of runes, magic, and love all lead up to tonight’s 2.5 hour #Shadowhunters finale and the #Malec wedding everyone has been waiting for.

Original Concept art: New York Institute, Magnus’ loft

Thank you to every #Shadowhunters cast and crew member. Thank you #ShadowFam. For all being a part of the journey. #ShadowhuntersLegacy

So many great songs. Listen to all your favorite songs from #Shadowhunters season 3B now on our @Spotify playlist

Heart=melted. Behind the scenes of #Shadowhunters.

Happy we get to love these two. @HarryShumJr & NicolaNCD dancing to @Ruellemusic’s “I get to love you” behind the scenes of #Shadowhunters

GLAAD shared some of their favorite moments from when Shadowhunters won a GLAAD Award in season 1. 

Maia, Jordan, and Raphael behind the scenes of #Shadowhunters 

Shadowhunters in the News

3x20 Previews: Film Daily

3x21/3x22 Reviews: TVFanatic, Pure Fandom, Film Daily, Spoiler TV

3x21/3x22 photos: ScreenSpy

ET Online (video): ‘Shadowhunters’ series finale: Stars say goodbye to fans in tear-jearking video (Exclusive)

E! News (article): These Shadowhunters series finale tributes from the cast will make you emotional

TV Insider (video): ‘Shadowhunters’ cast says goodbye to fans before the series finale (video)

TV Insider cast BTS videos: Emeraude, Harry, Dom, Kat

Entertainment Weekly (video): It’s time to say goodbye to @ShadowhuntersTV. Ahead of tonight’s series finale, watch the cast say an emotional goodbye to their characters #Shadowhunters

International Business Times (article): Katherine McNamara on ‘Shadowhunters’ series finale spoilers, set souvenirs, and saying goodbye

TVLine (article): Shadowhunters series finale explained: What that twist ending means for Clary, plus more questions answered

TVGuide (article): Shadowhunters bosses imagine what’s next for Malec after that ‘Glorious’ wedding

TVGuide (article): Shadowhunters’ Matthew Daddario and Harry Shum Jr say Malec’s wedding was a ‘perfect’ ending

TV Insider (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ showrunners explain all from the heartfelt series finale

Hypable (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ series finale: The 21 best moments

Hidden Remote (article): Shadowhunters: 13 Clace moments that made us swoon

Film Daily (article): Malec forever: We’re still not ready to say goodbye to our fave ‘Shadowhunters’ couple

TVGuide (article): Shadowhunters bosses drop hints about season 4 in the series finale

Pure Fandom (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ series finale: A heartbreaking, yet hopeful end

Cosmopolitan (article): Malec (aka Matthew Daddario and Harry Shum Jr) say goodbye to ‘Shadowhunters’...for now

Digital Spy (article): Shadowhunters cast say an emotional goodbye to the series: “This fandom is truly unstoppable”

Entertainment Tonight (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ series finale: Bosses explain Clary’s cliffhanger and Malec’s near perfect wedding

CinemaBlend (article): Why Shadowhunters’ series finale ended Clary’s story the way it did

OnTvToday (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ bids farewell with a supersized finale

Digital Spy (article): Shadowhunters bosses reveal who they couldn’t get back for the finale--and who would’ve returned in season 4

TVInsider (Photos): ‘Shadowhunters’: Behind the scenes of the finale’s biggest moments (Photos)

JustJaredJr (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ fans did everything right to try and save the series, showrunners say

Entertainment Tonight (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ star Katherine McNamara reacts to series finale and rumors of a reunion movie (Exclusive)

TV Insider (video): ‘Shadowhunters’: Harry Shum Jr & Matthew Daddario on Malec’s future post-finale (video)

JustJaredJr (article): Matthew Daddario & Harry Shum Jr open up about Malec’s wedding in ‘Shadowhunters’ series finale

Meaww Entertainment (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ fans talk about their favorite moments and Malec emerges as a clear winner

SoManyShows (article): Fans react to Shadowhunters finale

Pride (article): The Malec wedding made Shadowhunters stans everywhere emotional AF

Tremblay (Interview): Kimberly Sue Murray talks the Shadowhunters finale (May/June 2019)

I Am Nova Magazine (Interview): Introducing her royal highness: Kimberly-Sue Murray (and the Queen she plays)

Carter Matt (video): Shadowhunters season 4-Shadowhunters Forever

Carter Matt (article): Why Shadowhunters season 4 will always be more than a mirage

Brief Take (Interview): Interview: Shadowhunters’ Dominic Sherwood

Young Hollywood (video): Shadowhunters cast play loaded questions!

Meaww Entertainment (video): ‘Shadowhunters’ star Jade Hassoune on that epic series finale: “We know it’s not the end absolutely”

Variety (article): ‘Game of Thrones’ nabs No. 1 spot as Most-Social TV show in Q1, while Netflix’s engagement surges

Meaww Entertainment (article): ‘It was really moving,’ Kimberly Sue Murray aka the Sealie queen of ‘Shadowhunters’ on show’s mega finale

TVGuide (article): The week in superlatives: Best tribute, worst dog dad, and the goodbye bliss

TVGuide (video): Shadowhunters cast thanks the fans and gives them a teary goodbye

JustJaredJr (article): Shadowhunters’ Harry Shum Jr & Nicola Correia-Damude  dance together in cute BTS video

Film Daily (article): ‘Shadowhunters’ finale: The cast speak

Spoiler TV (Voting results): Performers of the month-April 2019 Voting *Results*

Buzz (video): Kimberly Sue-Murray talks Shadowhunters final show | Buzz 360

Neilson (Ratings): Top 10 list for Neilson Social content ratings-week of May 6, 2019

Close-Up Culture (Interview): Interview: Sydney Meyer talks ‘Shadowhunters’ and working with Ian Somerhalder

Film Daily (article): #SaveShadowhunters: Data doesn’t lie, so why hasn’t it been saved yet?

Hidden Remote (article): Shadowhunters fans confused by Season 4 renewal of The Bold Type

Tune Find (article): A bittersweet farewell: Favorite music moments from Shadowhunters

IBT (article): What’s the ‘Shadowhunters’ cast doing next after series finale?

Shadowhunters Finale Cast Party

Harry Shum Jr (Magnus) shared a photo of some of the cast getting ready for the finale party on Instagram

Shadowhunters TV tweeted: Crew is here. (Missing @IsaiahMustafa & @arosende, but they’ll be here soon!) Live tweet with us the 2.5 hour #Shadowhunters series finale using #ShadowhuntersChat

A fan attended the cast party and shared some photos with the cast: Jack Yang (Asmodeus), & Luke Baines (Jonathan), Jack (Asmodeus)

Shadowhunters TV shared a photo of Isaiah Mustafa (Luke) and Harry (Magnus) from the party, and several group photos from the party

Taylor Mallory (writer) shared a photo of some of the Shadowhunters writers

Michelle Argyris (Kaelie Whitewilllow) shared a photo of some of the cast

Sydney Meyer (Helen) shared a photo of herself and writer Taylor

Shadowhunters TV tweeted: @HarryShumJr at it again. #Shadowhunters #ShadowhuntersLegacy

Jack Yang (Asmodeous) shared a video he took at the party on his Instagram, 

#SaveShadowhunters

Digital Spy (article): Shadowhunters fans organize another Times Square billboard ahead of the series finale

Social Media/Twitter

Cast/Crew Goodbyes: Dom (Jace), Chai Hanson (Jordan Kyle), Kat (Clary), Jade Hassoune (Meliorn), Harry (Magnus), Folks VFX (Visual Effects team), Kevin Alves (Bat), Matt Hastings (Director), Joshua Horvath (vampire), Claire Hupy (writer), Peter Binswanger (writer), Kristen Creamer (production team), Celeste Vasquez (writer), Zoe Broad (writer), Alberto (Simon), Jonathan Ho (Brother Zachariah)

Kat (Clary) shared a behind the scenes video from season 1 of the cast practicing their demon fighting tactics, a side by side photo of herself on her first day and last day along with a thank you to her character, a behind the scenes video from the finale, Clary Fray #FrayFriday  playlist part 2, some of her favorite memories from the show, a video of herself and Alberto (Simon) dancing, some behind the scenes photos featuring herself and several cast members

Darren Swimmer (showrunner) shared a behind the scenes look into the writers room during 3A, some behind the scenes information regarding the musical themes in the finale

Javier Munoz (Lorenzo Rey) shared videos of himself with Matt (Alec), Emeraude (Izzy), Harry (Magnus), and Matt Hastings (director) in a Hamilton/Shadowhunters mashup

Verity Fiction (makeup artist) shared a photo from pilot of her applying Dom’s (Jace) runes

Taylor Mallory (writer) shared a behind the scenes photo from her set tour with director Matt Hastings, a “cheat sheet” she made for her friends when they watched episode 2x14

Luke Baines (Jonathan Morganstern) posted a photo of himself in character on his Instagram, a picture of Jonathan getting his first rune, some behind the scenes information about the black goo he wore during the finale, a video of himself attempting to text with his “demon” hands on his Instagram

Lola Flanery (Young Seelie Queen) shared the first ever photo she took in character

Todd Slavkin (Showrunner) shared a shout out to Farid Yazdani (table reader) for his help during table reads, tweeted a thank you to fans regarding the finale

TV Guide shared what was engraved om Malec’s wedding rings

Ruelle announced a special “Ode To Shadowhunters” collection

Ariana Williams (Madzie) shared some photos of the Lightwood-Bane family at Malec’s wedding, some behind the scenes photos of herself and Jack Fulton (Max Lightwood), a behind the scenes photo of herself and Nicola Correira-Damude (Maryse Lightwood) from the Malec wedding, some behind the scenes photos of herself and David Castro (Raphael Santiago), a video of herself, Kat (Clary) and Alberto (Simon) between takes of the Malec wedding

Brian Hui (makeup artist) shared a photo from the filming of the finale with Dom (Jace) and Kat (Clary), two photos of Anna Hopkins (Lilith) from the finale filming, a photo of Luke Baines (Jonathan Morgenstern) behind the scenes of 3B, a photo of himself with Todd (showrunner), a photo of Harry (Magnus) and camera operator Drew Potter, a photo of David Castro (Raphael Santiago), Javier Munoz (Lorenzo Rey), Sydney Meyer (Helen Blackthorn), Jacky Lai (Aline Penhallow) on set of 3x22, a video of Kimberly Sue Murray (Seelie Queen), and Luke Baines (Jonathan Morgenstern) from the set of the finale, a photo of “artist” Clary, a photo of Jonathan Ho (Brother Zachariah) from the finale, a photo of Sydney Meyer (Helen Blackthorn) ,Jacky Lai (Aline Penhallow), and Kat (Clary) from the Malec wedding, a Lightwood family photo from the Malec wedding, with Arianna (Madzie), and Steve Byers (Andrew Underhill)

Bryan Miller (writer) shared some behind the scenes information about the original end to 3x20

Jim Halterman of TVGuide/TVInsider tweeted a goodbye message to the cast and crew

Kevin Alves (Bat) shared a thank you to fans

Lindsay MacDonald shared a thread of behind the scenes photos and videos from the Malec wedding

The Series Regulars twitter page shared a peak into Jonathan’s (Brother Zachariah) feelings on being able to officiate the Malec wedding

Isaiah (Luke) shared a photo of himself, Matt (Alec), and Harry (Magnus) on his Instagram

Joshua Butler (director) tweeted Through all the highs and lows, it’s important to remember: Love is LOVE. #MalecForever 

Vanessa Matsui (Dot) shared some photos from her time on Shadowhunters on her Instagram, an alternate version of her dance scene with Harry (Magnus)

Stefanie Terzo (hair stylist) shared a behind the scenes secret featuring Harry (Magnus) on her Instagram story, a behind the scenes look at the Idris demon attack on her Instagram story, a behind the scenes look at her character’s hair on her Instagram story

Jacky Lai (Aline Penhallow) shared a behind the scenes look at her transformation into Aline on her Instagram

Sydney Meyer (Helen Blackthorn) shared a photo of herself with Javier Munoz (Lorenzo Rey) from the Malec wedding, a photo of Todd (showrunner) and Dom (Jace) hugging it out on set

Harry (Magnus) shared some behind the scenes photos and videos on his Instagram

Jade Hassoune (Meliorn) shared a behind the scenes video on his Instagram

Amanda O’Leary (writer) shared some behind the scenes photos of the Malec wedding on her Instagram, some photos of Harry’s (Magnus) post wedding hairstyle on her Instagram, 

Other News

Harry Shum Jr was announced as a guest at the Hunters of Shadows con in France

Buzzfeed (article): 24 things you didn’t know about Harry Shum Jr. 

Harry (Magnus) is featured in the second episode of season 1 of Family Style

A preview for Emeraude Toubia’s new movie on Hallmark Channel is now available

Anna Hopkins (Lilith) was announced as a guest at Hero & Villain’s Fan Fest Nashville in August 2019

Kat (Clary) was announced as a guest for the Big Slick KC event

Harry (Magnus) was the MC for the Smithsonian APA Party

David Castro (Raphael Santiago) was announced as a guest at the Italian Institute 3 Con

[carmenlire]

With this Ring

Inspired by this tweet by @prayformalec!

read on ao3

Alec looks down at the box in his hands. He feels the weight of it, almost overwhelming but so damned good.

It’s the weight of expectation, anticipation.

The rings shines dully in the late evening light. Alec’s in his office and it’s a rare quiet moment. Most of his shadowhunters are out on patrol and Alec had been working through an extensive Excel spreadsheet when his thoughts had snagged on the box hiding in his middle desk drawer.

The Lightwood family ring was always dangled over Alec’s head like a particularly tasty carrot. He remembers his grandfather wearing it on his middle finger like the most prized jewel. He’d died when Alec was fourteen but Alec had always remembered spending a few weeks in the summer languishing in his family’s home in Alicante.

Even so young, that summer reprieve had been chock full of lessons. His grandfather had been an imposing man, a stalwart shadowhunter to his core with little patience for frivolity. Still, he’d had a special fondness for Alec and Alec still holds a few good memories from his summers in Idris.

Mornings had been reserved for humanities lessons. While the Academy had touched on Machiavelli's The Prince-- in its original Italian-- and Sun Tzu’s Art of War, their curriculum had focused on works that were directly applicable to being a shadowhunter and Head of the Institute one day. One of his grandfather’s only pleasures had been reading. He’d loved the classics just as much as paperback romances and he’d made sure to have a reading list ready for Alec as soon as he arrived on the estate every summer.

Alec remembers cool mornings spent the library whose shelves were fit to bursting with books ranging from antique weapons catalogs to Jane Austen’s entire collection to old, leather-bound family journals.

After a quick lunch in town or in the kitchen, Alec would spend his afternoons training. While his grandfather wasn’t quite the soldier he’d been a few decades ago, he’d been one of the best in his class and was still a master instructor. When Alec had first been debating on his weapon of choice, his grandfather had ran the gambit but after trying dozens of different weapons, Alec had finally decided on the bow.

It was pure coincidence that his grandfather had also favored archery.

Spending several hours training, Alec had then gone upstairs to his room, showered, and come down to dinner at seven sharp every evening. There, he’d been taught the proper way to eat soup, which fork was used for which course, and how to converse with a Clave official on any topic of their choosing.

It had been daunting and exhausting but a part of Alec had thrived. He’d been sent off to the parlor while his grandfather enjoyed his after-dinner glass of scotch and Alec had used that time to wander around the room, looking at family pictures and heirlooms that had been passed down through the generations.

Sometimes, he’d just go over to the open french doors that overlooked the balcony and stand at the edge of the room, letting the warm summer breeze wash over him.

He’d think about how fast summer always seemed to pass and how he only had a month until he’d be back at the Academy. The summer he turned twelve, his thoughts had been preoccupied with a boy in his class and the way that when he laughed, it was like the whole damn sun was hidden in his smile.

Alec hadn’t let his thoughts go much further. Even in his own mind, he shied away from the truth, that inevitable truth that he knew-- deep down, instinctively-- would go over about as well as a grenade.

In Idris for the summer, alone with just his grandfather and housekeeping staff, Alec was as free as he could be. While his grandfather was strict and had very definite ideas of how a Lightwood should behave, Alec loved it there. Alec had learned a lot from the gruff, brusque man including just how important family was and the importance of heirlooms that signaled just how high the Lightwood's pedestal was. Alec doesn't remember ever seeing his grandfather without the sturdy family ring on his hand, a symbol to everyone of his place in the world.

Those summer nights, after twenty minutes or so, his grandfather would come into the room with a maid and teach Alec different dances. There was the waltz, the quadrille, and a few country dances specific to Idris that Alec painstakingly learned. The maid, just a few years older than him, was an unwitting friend of Alec’s and distantly he wonders what she’s doing now.

The house had been shuttered when his grandfather had died and the staff let go, Robert’s mother having passed on almost fifteen years prior. He can still see the way pristine white cloths had covered the furniture, the house staff hurrying around making arrangements.

Robert and Maryse had been in the middle of things, barking orders. Robert had been given the ring after the funeral ceremony and Alec remembers the way his father had clutched at the ring like it was a living thing.

Catching Alec studying him, Robert had said, This ring will be yours someday, Alec.

He’d winked. I won’t make you wait until I’m dead and buried in the City of Bones, though. This will be yours when you find your perfect wife. Any girl would be love to have the Lightwood family ring in her possession. She’ll know just what an honor it is that you’re bestowing upon her.

Alec had stared at the ring and all of a sudden, it wasn’t a warm memory of his grandfather twisting it around his finger in thought. No, as Alec looked at the ring, it felt like a noose was tightening over his neck.

He remembers thinking that he’d never want the damned ring, that he’d rather throw it into the fucking ocean that give it to some girl that he could never love, not really and not in the way either of them deserved. The truth is, by the time Lydia had come around and Alec had proposed, they very thought of the ring had been too much for him and he'd resolved to buy her a ring whenever he had the change. Now that he thinks about it, he never did give Lydia a ring, which he supposed is all well and good for how that engagement turned out.

What a difference a decade makes, Alec thinks.

As he looks down at the ring now, Alec doesn’t feel that crushing shame and guilt choking him. No, instead he sees possibility and a future so bright he can hardly stand it.

Things might be shit now but Alec swore ages ago that he’d never leave Magnus’s side and he can’t think of another way to show his boyfriend that than to become his husband.

Husband.

Just the word makes Alec catch his breath, nerves and hope wrapping around each other tight enough to make him dizzy.

He wasn’t lying to Lorenzo, wasn’t exaggerating in the slightest. It’s an old shadowhunter wive’s tale for a reason. Their kind loves once and loves fiercely and Alec had known the minute he’d started striding down the aisle at his disastrous wedding-to-be with Lydia that he’d found his person, the one man he would love above all others and for eternity.

He hopes to hell Magnus feels the same, that he sees a future with Alec in twisting shades of gold and blue.

With this ring, Alec wants Magnus to know the love and pride that’s become a constant hum under his skin. He wants everyone to know Magnus owns his heart and that he’s proud to stand next to the love of his life, for the rest of his life.

Still though, as Alec starts to think about, something starts to niggle in the back of his brain.

Alec would have to be a fool not to realize-- belated but eventually all the same-- that maybe Magnus wouldn’t want his ring-- this ring. He’s heard Magnus talk before, about the way shadowhunters sneered at him and his friends, the way they broke plates and hid their prized possessions in their prejudice and ignorance.

Maybe, Alec wonders, his family ring would be another ugly reminder to Magnus of shadowhunters and their hateful, ignorant behavior. Too traditional, too possessive.

With that thought in mind, a piece of Alec-- a very small, tiny piece-- is disappointed. While he now sees nothing but pride and security in the metal, he realizes that he’s fortunate in that regard.

Angel knows he doesn’t want to give Magnus any reason to say no. If Magnus didn’t like the ring-- if there was a piece, no matter how minuscule, that was wary to accept-- Alec didn't want to taint the start of their forever with an archaic, admittedly one-sided display of his love.

He sighs a little, sweeping a thumb over the ornate ring before closing the box with a snap that rings with finality.

Tossing the box back into his drawer, Alec turns towards his computer and starts looking up New York jewelers.

It’s an exhaustive mission but Alec’s never been one to back away from a challenge. He goes to a dozen jewelers in the city looking for the perfect ring. While his wealth can’t quite measure up to Magnus’s, the Lightwoods have always been affluent and money’s practically no object.

Alec visits a few places by himself, wary of inviting anyone else to join him lest they try to steer him in a different direction.

He has a vision in his head. He’ll know it when he sees it.

Still, it takes longer than he’d thought to find it. He finally brings in Jace and Izzy when he finds himself studying yet another glass display hopelessly. Texting his siblings the next address on his list for the afternoon, he’s a little surprised to see them standing about on the sidewalk outside the jeweler’s when he arrives.

“What are you doing here,” he asks, approaching them.

Izzy rolls her eyes, glaring at him. “You text us an address with no message? We thought you’d run into a group of demons and needed help. We ran over here.”

“Speed runes activated and everything,” Jace adds, looking a little miffed that there are no demons to kill.

Shaking his head impatiently, Alec brushes past them, towards the door of the jeweler’s in Midtown. By the looks of their website, it’s a small, family run business that was established over a century ago. While Alec’s hopes have severely dampened over the past weeks of fruitless searching, there’s something about this place that makes him think that his luck might just be turning.

“There are no demons here. I just need your opinion.”

“On what,” Jace asks absently as they walk into the jeweler’s, a cheery little bell signalling their entrance.

“Oh, Alec,” Izzy breathes as soon as she steps inside, turning to face him. “We’re at a jewelry store.”

She blinks rapidly, and Alec sees the sheen of tears just forming as Isabelle realizes why they’re here.

“Don’t you start,” he warns, though he can’t stop a grin from stealing over his face. “Or I’ll start too and Jace will have to dry both of us out.”

Alec’s barely finished speaking when Izzy steps closer, wrapping tight arms around him, hugging him so hard that Alec’s lungs constrict.

“I’m so happy for you, mi hermano, and I can’t wait to hear how Magnus reacts.”

“Wait,” Jace asks incredulously. “You’re proposing?”

Rolling her eyes, Isabelle pulls way from Alec to punch Jace in the shoulder. “Of course he’s proposing. Why else would Alec ask us to meet him at a jeweler’s?”

Alec watches as the light bulb flares over Jace’s head before he starts grinning and pulls Alec over to him for a hard hug and rough pat on the back. “Congratulations, Alec. This is huge!”

Standing back, Alec rubs the back of his neck in a nervous gesture that’s betrayed him since he was little. “Thanks, man. Do you guys think he’ll say yes?”

Resting his hands on Alec’s shoulders, Jace’s fingers press into Alec’s skin, grounding him as he makes an effort to glare right into his skull. “There is no world where Magnus Bane doesn’t want to marry you, Alec. The entire shadow world knows just how gone he is over you.”

“Jace is right for once,” Isabelle says, voice certain. “Magnus loves you, Alec. He’s going to say yes.”

“Let’s hope so,” he mutters under his breath. Taking a deep breath, Alec shakes the nerves out as best he can before looking up at his siblings who are staring at him with a mix of joy and pride.

“Okay, I’ve been searching all over the city for a ring and you two are here for moral support.”

“Got it,” Jace says easily before wandering over to one of the nearest display cases. “Anything we should be on the lookout for?”

Alec’s voice is distracted as he replies, “No, not really. I’ll know it when I see it.”

That might be getting old but Alec clings onto the hope stubbornly.

The three of them spend the next hour looking over the jeweler’s selection. Alec looks at rings, talking with a sales associate about what he’s looking for.

No matter that this is the twenty-third place he’s been to this month, Alec still feels indescribably happy to explain that he’s looking for an engagement ring.

He’s just about given up hope when he comes to the last section of the rings display. Jace and Izzy are across the store bickering as his sister tries on a bracelet but Alec barely pays them any mind as his eyes sweep over the last half dozen rings.

His eyes sweep over one before jumping back. Studying it, Alec tries to move on again but something won’t let him go.

With a sharp nod towards the ring in question, Alec straightens as the jeweler carefully takes it out of the case, placing the display on top of the glass counter.

Reaching for it, Alec feels something restless climb up his spine as he picks it up, shifting it so that the light bounces over the white gold band. His eyes narrow as he considers the design before a thought pops into his head.

Isabelle and Jace, seeing Alec carefully studying the ring, wonder back over and as he explains what he’s thinking, Isabelle’s eyes widen before she starts nodding enthusiastically.

What follows is a long, arduous consultation as Alec commissions a ring to fit his specifications. While the jeweler didn’t have anything like it in stock, they’d prided their family’s business on being willing to provide custom orders.

Alec watches as the jeweler sketches a design, pointing to a dozen areas he wants changed. There’s back and forth but finally, finally Alec pulls the sketch closer and takes in every detail.

It’s perfect.

He places his order and Jace claps him on the back as they all stand up from the meeting, declaring that this special occasion called for a special dinner.

They all go to their favorite steakhouse on the Upper West Side. Alec can’t quite remember the last time he’d spent such a pleasant evening with his parabatai and sister. The drinks had just kept on coming and the food had been delicious. As Alec walks into his apartment, the home he shares with Magnus-- the love of his life, the very beat of his heart-- a little unsteadily with flushed cheeks and bright eyes, Alec can’t quite believe his good fortune.

It’s late when he gets back and Magnus is already in bed, ancient text that he must’ve been translating for a client sprawled over his chest, moving in time to steady, deep breaths.

Carefully, Alec lifts the book and marks his boyfriend’s place before setting the book down on their bedside table. Crawling in on his side of the bed, Alec shifts closer to the warmth radiating from Magnus, laying his head over his heart.

Distantly, Alec thinks that there’s no better place in the world than right here, as close as he can get to his boyfriend-- and if he has anything to say about it, his soon to be husband.

A couple of months later, Alec gets a phone call from the jeweler’s letting him know that his ring is ready for pickup. He tries to focus on work but within the hour, he’s heading over to the jeweler’s.

He’s greeted by the same salesperson who’d helped him earlier and as he sees her set the blue satin box onto the counter, something in Alec rises, the sheer emotion in him staggering as it squeezes his heart in a vise grip.

Slowly, he reaches out and thumbs the box open, the breath stilling in his chest as he sees the finished product.

By the Angel, he thinks. It’s perfect.

The white gold band reflects the overhead lights. Along the length, there are a dozen miniature sapphires circling around the band in alternating tones of blue and gold. Their color is warm, deep, and Alec can’t stop shifting the ring so that the light catches deep inside the gems.

It’s a mix of them and Alec hopes the sentiment comes across. Blue for warlocks, gold for shadowhunters, winding shades of love and marriage and a happily ever after that Alec never could’ve dreamt up.

He doesn’t bat an eye at the final bill, at the several zeroes rounding out the total, instead swiping his credit card with an almost jittery sense of satisfaction.

He’d pay that price a hundred times over if it meant the finished product would give him the same happiness and anticipation.

Alec’s ready for this. Half of him thinks that he’s never been ready for anything else as much as he’s ready to be the other half of Mr. Lightwood-Bane.

Just the thought of the name makes him shudder, an almost overwhelming weight settling over his shoulders.

It’s a welcome weight though because it means that this matters. This is the biggest gesture of Alec’s life but he’s so, so ready for that next step.

As Alec walks out of the jeweler’s, box secured in his pocket, his mind spins with plans.

He’s been brainstorming proposals for ages and now that he has the ring, there’s nothing else holding him back from asking Magnus the biggest question of his life.

Once, ages ago, Magnus had said in a cold, bitter voice, Marriage is a wonderful institution, not that I should know.

As Alec walks home, ring a heavy presence in his pocket, he vows to show Magnus just how wonderful marriage can be.

Please say yes, Alec prays to every angel he can name and a few more besides. He continues on his way, lost in thought and so damn happy he wonders how a body's supposed to contain it all.

[forsakenfray-blog]

The Mortal Instruments fancast.

the world of Cassandra Clare is perhaps one of the most complex and extensive fictional worlds out there.It has the perfect amount of humor and utopia that is needed to form a expanding world like it is.This list is how in my opinion the Shadowhunter Characters would look like in live-action.I used some characters from the show but most of them i have picked by myself.

Clary Fray

In the books clary id described as being petite and rather mundane looking and therefore lacks the certain confidence most shadowhunters her age posses.I feel like Elle Fanning (in the movie Ginger and rosa) resembles Clary the most (minus the freckles) i never really understood what people saw in Lily Collins as far as looks go and regarding katherine mcnamara i think she fits Clary more then lily ever did however Ellie Fanning in Ginger and Rosa will always be my top pick!

Jace Herondale

Alex Pettyfer is considered the most common pick for book fans and i don’t think i really need an explenation here.I MEAN LOOK AT HIM HE IS JACE PERIOD.He is everything Cassie described Jace to be and i will never change my mind ty

Alec Lightwood

I loved Matthew Daddario as Alec in the show and even tho he doesn’t have blue eyes like book Alec i didn’t find myself minding that he plays the brooding shadowhunter perfectly :))

Isabelle Lightwood

Same goes for Izzy  Emeraude Toubia is the spitting image of izzy in my opinion and  she did an a great job playing her :)))))))))))))

Magnus Bane

Just like the lightwood siblings i think Harry Shum jr really nailed the magnus vibe that godfrey gao just didn’t in the movie he couldn’t be a better magnus and matty and harry will always be my #malec 

Simon Lewis

I LOVE ALBERTO RESENDE IN THE SHOW he just nails simon personality and look wise and im really glad the producers picked him :))

Valentine Morgenstern

OKAY SO SMALL RANT FOR A MINUTE in the books Valentine is described as having :  sharp features, an almost triangular face with a hard, pointed chin, black eyes, and HAIR IT WAS SO FAIR NEARLY WHITE!! he wasn’t bald like he is shown in the show and he did not look like a pirate as shown in the movies HE LOOKED SOMETHING LIKE THAT ^^^^^.Don’t get me wrong im all for small changes here and there and in my opinion i consider open to book to movie and book to show changes i feel like a a live version adaptation should change some things here and there but i just cringe everytime i watch the movie and as far as acting goes ALAN VAN SPRANG FROM THE SHOW IS AMAZING but look wise no.

Young Valentine

So initally lucky blue smith was my pick for Sebastion but as i was finding more actors i choose someone else for seb and striclty on looks lucky fits the description.

Jocelyn Fairchild

probs one of the few casting from the movie i actually liked :))

Young Jocelyn Fairchild

i love holland in teen wolf and even tho i didn’t see her as clary i saw her more of a baby Jocelyn 

Lucian Greymark

i really liked him in the movie and even tho i did not mind Isiah Mustafa in the show on the contrary he was one of the best actors since this is a stricly book character description i figured i would include how i picture book luke irl

Young Lucian Greymark

Logan lerman in the percy jackson movies was just amazing and i really feel like is the spitting image on young luke

Aline Penhallow

when i first saw Kira in teen wolf i just thought of everyones favourite lesbian Aline.

Helen Blackthorn

I always thouhgt gabriella wilde has the helen blackthorn look and she just fits her description perfectly 

Hodge Starkweather

SO RANT NUMBER TWO hodge is known to be the YOUNGEST MEMBER OF THE CIRLCE so why they casted an old man in the movie is beyond me 

Young Hodge Starkweather

when i was reading tales from shadowhunter academy and was reading about lil hodge i just quickly imagined him :

Amatis Herondale

i also see her as being Amatis for some reason idk

Young Amatis Herondale

she just has the typical greymark blue eyes (and she looks like logan in my opinion sooo)

Stephen Herondale

at this point in my life most blondes with blue eyes will give me herondale vibes.He was amazing in reign and if there ever will be a book about the circle I WILL IMAGINE HIM

Céline Montclair 

I CAN WRITE A 500 WORD ESSAY ON HOW CELINE DESERVED BETTER 

Maia Roberts

she will always be my Maia i luv her

Jordan Kyle

can u tell i luv teen wolf?

Bat Valsequez 

everyones fav true Alpha will make an amazing bat

Raphael Santiago

I CAN ALSO WRITE A ESSAY ON HOW RAPHI DESERVED BETTER I LOVE HIM WHY DID HE DIE SCREW U SEB

Sebastion Verlac aka Jonathon morgenstern

everyones favourite pro-inest psycho 

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

Shadowhunters Series Finale Review

I can hardly believe it. We’ve reached the end of Shadowhunters. At last, this show has finally come to an end. It’s kind of a surreal feeling right now. I’ve spent the past three years with this show, for better and for worse (mostly worse, though) so to not have the show anymore does leave a vacancy in my cold, cold heart. But it’s okay, all good and bad things must come to an end. I’ll find something else to fill that vacancy and I can only hope that vacancy will be filled with something I actually enjoy unironically. But let’s talk about this finale.

As always, these are my thoughts and opinions on Shadowhunters. They don’t reflect anyone else’s. I’m very critical of this show. If you stan the show, that’s perfectly fine, we like what we like but just know I may be voicing opinions you don’t agree with. If you don’t like hearing opinions you disagree with, this may not be the review for you. You might want to skip the one. I’m not going to stop you from reading this (I can’t, really) but I will request you proceed with caution when reading this. If you do get offended and decide to send me a rude comment or ask regarding this, you’re free to do so. I can’t guarantee I’ll respond but you’re welcome to do so.

You know, this finale in individual moments, I didn’t completely hate. If there’s one thing this finale did right, it was making the decision to be much more character driven as opposed to plot-driven. Ideally, I would prefer a series finale to be a mix of both but this is Shadowhunters so there’s no way they’d be able to do that; it’s always one or the other and the show isn’t particularly good at either. But making their finale more about the characters as opposed to having an epic and climactic final battle was probably for the best. Revolving around the characters gave the show a chance to say good-bye to these characters. Now, if this show had properly developed these characters and the majority of these characters actually had chemistry with each other, this finale might have made me feel something. But ultimately, the extent of emotions I felt were, “that’s nice, I’m sure if you ship these characters, you probably loved that.” But I really didn’t feel anything beyond, “that’s nice” because this show has been terrible about character evolution, particularly season 3. Everything it attempted to do for its characters in the finale, while nice moments looking at it individually without the context of the rest of the show, but when looking at it all-together, it just leaves you feeling empty. Nothing it does with the characters’ endgames really hits home and makes you feel like it was earned.

What was the point of 3B?

Seriously, what even was the point of 3B. When looking at 3B as a whole, there is so much inconsequential stuff going on that could’ve been cut.

The entire Heidi plot should never have been a thing and ultimately, it had absolutely no bearing whatsoever on the season as a whole. There was this whole thing where Heidi was attempting to elevate the vampire clan into becoming actual vampires again but once she died, absolutely nothing came of it. That entire idea is just never brought up again. If we didn’t have the Heidi plot, we could’ve instead spent more time developing Maia as a burgeoning alpha, she could’ve had the alpha fight she was always supposed to have, and spent the remainder of the season working to improve vampire-werewolf relations and by the series finale, we could’ve had this truly awesome vampire-werewolf alliance.

And if the show still felt the need to end Saia for Sizzy, without the Heidi plot which started in 3A, the show could’ve had time to put development in that relationship and make it less insta-love. In 3A, Sizzy could’ve been introduced as these best friends who were helping each other out and then in 3B we could’ve seen them develop from friends-to-lovers. It still would’ve been a bit too quick for my taste, really, they should’ve been developing Sizzy from the very beginning instead of forgetting about them for 2 seasons and instead giving us a really problematic drug addiction romance storyline that did absolutely nothing for either of the parties involved.

The Asmodeus plotline in the grand scheme of things was completely pointless. It mattered very little on how things played out. So that could’ve been cut and it really wouldn’t have taken away much from the actual story. Magnus could still have gotten his magic back, he could’ve still gone back to Edom and the group could’ve still gone there to rescue him. All this time spent with Asmodeus really just took up way more time than the show was actually invested in following through with.

And of course, I’ve said this in previous reviews, Clary starting the season with Jonathon, getting rescued, then going back to Jonathon was a waste of time. She should’ve just stayed with Jonathon and the rest of Team Good spends about half the season trying to track her down and then use the remainder of the season to break Clary free of the mark.

Speaking of useless things, what even was the point of Cain beyond getting rid of the mark? Why did he show up to free Lillith and then never show up again? If the show just really needed to have Lillith in 3B (which they didn’t), she could’ve just freed herself. A third party in the form of Cain really wasn’t necessary.

There was just so much unnecessary fat in 3B. So much of it could’ve been trimmed off and we would’ve had so much more time to develop the things that actually needed to be developed. The season as a whole felt rushed but after you trim a lot of this extra stuff off, you realize that it really didn’t need to be.

Izzy Infected with Heavenly Fire

I’m of two minds on the whole Izzy thing being infected with heavenly fire. On one hand, it finally gave Izzy something to do and allowed her to have agency within the story. But on the other hand, it just didn’t make a whole lot of sense for her to be dealing with this issue of heavenly fire. She got these heavenly fire issues because she got some shrapnel embedded in her back but yet Clary, who actually go stabbed with the thing, got none of the heavenly fire? I guess it’s just one of those “there but for the grace of plot convenience” things. But ultimately, it also doesn’t really make a whole lot of sense character-wise for Izzy to be dealing with heavenly fire issues, either. The interesting thing about the whole Jace being infected with heavenly fire in the books is that, as a character, it involves him having to be careful with how he allows himself to feel things as those feelings can set off the heavenly fire as the heavenly fire’s purpose is meant to burn away any aspects of a person it perceives as evil. So something as simple as selfish desire can set it off. And that’s a huge part of Jace’s character in the books, his selfish desires. But also, they way the show wrote heavenly fire here is a little weird and I don’t really like how they use it. This entire show, the writers have been all about “downworlders aren’t evil, they’re just as human as the rest of us” but yet Izzy can’t go anywhere near someone with downworlder blood as the heavenly fire will attempt to destroy them because of their blood? And then Izzy goes to Edom as only downworlders or demons can survive in Edom for some reason? There the show goes again with for some reason dehumanizing the downworlders all of the sudden. And must the show have Izzy shooting off heavenly fire from her hands? Why must they make something as dangerous as heavenly fire so incredibly cheesy. And like always, it doesn’t last. Much like her addiction, she gets a magical fix to the problem that cures everything and she’s able to be with Simon despite not actually doing anything to earn that and it doing absolutely nothing for her character arc (not that Izzy has ever had much of a character arc to begin with).

I Guess I Should Talk About Malec

They got married. That’s about the most I have to say about them. It was something I didn’t really want for them because they have absolutely horrendous communication skills and there’s absolutely no part of me that believes their relationship has been built for last. Beyond the whole fact that they never properly deal with a conflict, for the life of me I still cannot figure out what it is that these two like about each other beyond their initial attraction. And also, they’ve only known each other for two months, three months tops. I would never even consider marrying someone I’d only known for three months. Three months is maybe around the timeframe I’d consider living with someone (and even that’s pushing it) but certainly not marriage. And can we also talk about the fact that they’re planning on getting married that night while they have Jonathon on the loose doing various villainous things, killing mundanes and shadowhunters and they don’t seem to care about that? They’re still happily planning out their wedding. There’s a pile of bodies stacking up but clearly the most important thing here is the wedding location and who to invite to it.  I’ve said it before, these characters are just absolutely the worst.

And it’s not that I don’t want to ship Malec. For the longest time while watching this show, I convinced myself I did but at around 2B, I just couldn’t ignore the things I hated about Malec anymore and just decided I was done giving them a pass for the sake of representation. But if you’re a huge Malec shipper (which I most decidedly am not) I’m sure you loved this moment. The wedding was a nice sentiment but ultimately the character development or lack thereof and certainly the fact that Matt and Harry have negative romantic chemistry with each other just really off-put the wedding for me. It’s really something when I feel more chemistry in a bromantic hug between Jace and Alec than a wedding kiss signifying true love between Magnus and Alec. I certainly don’t ship Jalec either but going off of chemistry alone, these two are way more believable together.

Clary Finally Faces Consequences

It may have taken three seasons but she was finally held accountable for something. Granted, it certainly wasn’t developed and had it been developed more, this would’ve resonated with me more but at least it’s something. The angels just out of the blue decide they don’t like Clary using that extra angelic power she has to create new runes. Apparently the final straw was her creating that Alliance rune and I’m just like, “really? That’s the final straw? Not her bringing someone back from the dead? Or creating pure sunlight out of her hand?” It’s her linking downworlders and shadowhunters together that truly makes them angry. Here we go with the show being all, “downworlders are akin to demons” for some reason again. The angels, in the form of Jocelyn (which it was nice to see Jocelyn again, it’s great that the show actually remembered that Clary wasn’t birthed from pure light) warn Clary that using her ability one more time will result in them taking away those powers. This seems to include her runes, her abilities, her ability to see the shadow world, even her memories, so of course there’s one more thing she has to use her abilities for. She has to use her abilities to finally kill Jonathon (by somothering him with angel wings, I guess, it was a weird death) so as we proceed with the wedding, she’s slowly deruned and when she leaves the Institute crying, she forgets everything. And we get a one-year time skip where she’s apparently back in art school and I’m just very curious as to how she didn’t end up homeless and seems to be doing so well for herself. She has no memory of what she’s been doing for the past few months, her apartment has been burnt down, she literally has nowhere to go. Where did she go after she walked away from the Institute?

But this was a plot point that was originally given to Simon in the books and I don’t really like that it was given to Clary here. It still would make more sense for Simon as a character to get this memory wipe as it would show Clary in much the same way that it does in the books, that consequences reaped from her impulsive behavior may not necessarily affect her but instead the people she loves. And it also shows Simon, a person who should never have been involved in the shadow world, it shows the shadow world that mundanes can be heroes in their own right.

I guess in it’s more basic form, the show’s plot point shows Clary as a hero but it doesn’t really do much for Clary as a character. It just engulfs her in more pure light of being this selfless creature in which she certainly is not, that’s just what the show likes to push. If the show wanted to go this route with Clary, allowing Clary to be the selfish, self-centered, spoiled character she really is would’ve been so much more impactful for a character arc culminating in this. It would show that selfishness, self-centeredness, while it can be seen as negative traits, if used a certain way, can also be seen as a hero’s trait and to me, that’s far more interesting of a character arc than what we actually got with Clary on the show.

The Epilogue

The epilogue was certainly nice and I didn’t hate it but again, character development to reach these points would’ve been nice. Maia fixing things between werewolves and vampires and creating Taki’s would’ve been nice if we’d gotten development for it before that that was something she was interested in. Alec being Inquisitor while a nice sentiment would’ve been better if Alec’s standing with the Clave was actually developed. It’s really hard for me to believe he became Inquisitor a year later when he’s done basically nothing in the Clave’s eyes to really earn that. Izzy being head of the Institute is nice but again, she’s done nothing really to legitimately earn that. The downworlder community working with the shadowhunter community is nice but again, it doesn’t feel earned.

As I said, I can appreciate the show going for a more character driven finale and it was probably for the best that they went that direction, but ultimately it didn’t really work as the show didn’t have the character or plot evolution to back-up anything they had going on. For the most part, this episode had “that’s nice” moments but none of it was truly impactful to me because of the lack of evolution. But I will say I did immensely like in the finale that they actually made Meliorn into a character and not set dressing as they typically do with him. It’s nice that they gave him this really kind of vain but yet loyal personality trait. We hadn’t really seen that before and it showed this foundation of where I could understand why he and Izzy were once a thing. Him and Izzy were probably the most believable of all of her relationships. I’d give the finale a B-. I’m feeling generous. It wasn't too terrible, filled with nice moments but ultimately didn’t really culminate into anything meaningful. This was probably the best we were going to get with this show.

[mymoonjin1]

In Jace’s defense

So I finished rewatching Shadowhunters and I just want to say... Jace has been through some shit and people don’t acknowledge that enough, ok?! Let’s recap, shall we?

First, he finds out his father (who killed his pet falcon and used to break his fingers whenever he messed up playing piano) wasn’t actually dead, and is in fact Valentine, a mass murderer who hid his real face his entire childhood. He is then told by Valentine that the girl he’s been falling for is his sister. Then he is forced to go with him and do his bidding to save his friends from being killed, and while he is there he gets tortured both mentally and physically. Oh, and Valentine lies to him once again by making him believe he has demon blood.

After he manages to escape, he’s then treated as a criminal and sent to prison, and actually tries to kill himself with the Soul Sword to prevent Valentine from taking him again. And even when he is proven innocent, everyone who once considered him the best warrior keeps treating him like shit. At this point he still feels like he’s disgusting, being basically a demon experiment who’s still in love with his sister, so he turns to a random seelie for comfort/distraction. And gets judged for it. He’s then influenced by a spell which makes him think his adoptive mother wants to kill him and thinks he’s a monster.

He’s then willing to die AGAIN to save downworlders from death, only to discover that he actually had angel blood and therefore able to activate the Sword. And gets blamed for it. Again. He later finds out that Clary isn’t his sister, but she’s already in a relationship, so he says nothing, but when she inevitably finds out, she gets mad at him and asks him why he doesn’t let himself feel anything. Really, girl?! He has a fling with Maia, who tells him it doesn’t mean anything. Clary is forced to kiss him at the Seelie Court, telling him it doesn’t mean anything. People keep telling him he doesn’t mean anything to them. So when he finds out who his real family is, all he wants to do is please his grandma. He makes amends by naming his parabatai, (the one who deserved being in charge all along) the Head of the Institue, rejecting his family’s nepotism. Yet no one cares.

But the absolute cherry on top: he gets stabbed by the man who raised him and DIES. Oh, but that’s not all. He’s brought back to life, thinking he can finally be with the girl he loves, only to become possessed by the mother of all demons, being forced to make innocent mundanes kill their loved ones and throw Clary off the top of a building. He’s trapped inside his own mind killing Clary over and over again, having even his childhood memories (the happy ones, with Alec and Izzy) corrupted by Lilith. He asks his siblings to kill him, but they obviously refuse. They pull him out, but Lilith gets to him again. He then injures his parabatai close to fatally, and then he is told by Simon that Clary, the only girl he’s ever loved, is dead.

Wow.

And you people hate him because... what, he’s a bit smug? FFS. Obviously he’s not a perfect character, he is flawed. But why can’t people be more sympathetic towards him?

When Alec tried to jump off the roof everyone applauded the show for acknowledging it in the next episode, having Magnus talk to him about it. Well, Jace tried to kill himself THREE TIMES and I didn’t see anybody showing any concern for him whatsoever. Either on the show or in real life. So... what’s up with that?!

One of the best things about this show (which is why it’s so beloved by fans) is their portrayal of not only poc, but sensitive issues like racism and mental health. And I get that they can’t show every single detail about a character’s journey due to screen time, but I mean, Jace has been through almost literal hell. Give him a break.

Another issue I’ve seen people have with Jace is that he doesn’t really ask Alec about his feelings or about Magnus that much. I get it, I would also love to see more real talk between them. But let’s think this through from Jace’s point of view. He and Alec grew up together and became parabatai, yes. But we have to remember that Alec never talked to him about his romantic conquests or his feelings about anything because he couldn’t. Jace didn’t have that problem. This is a matter not only of Alec struggling with his sexuality, but also of personality. Don’t we all have that one friend who overshares things and another one who’s more reserved about their romantic life? Everyone’s entitled to their own feelings, and to share or not share whatever the fuck they want with whomever they want. Even with people close to them. Alec has been a reserved kind of guy his entire life, even after coming out. He is only a hundred percent relaxed around Magnus and Izzy because they have always known and understood him completely. It’s always been different with Jace, even if they are in fact parabatai. It doesn’t mean they don’t trust each other, it just means their relationship is different. Also, up until they met Clary and Magnus, both Jace and Alec “believed” that emotions were a distraction. So why would they ever talk about it? They had a heart to heart before Alec’s wedding, but that doesn’t mean their dynamic’s gonna change that fast, I mean, apparently it’s only been less than two months, or whatever. And they might be a lot more comfortable now that they’ve cleared everything up, but if you notice, Alec’s only asked him pretty standard stuff regarding Clary, like “so, what’s up, when are you telling her you’re not related?”, not “how did that kiss at the Seelie Court made you feel, bro?” ... know what I mean? Lol. They do have real conversations about other stuff, though, like when Alec is worried about Jace’s mental health, suspecting it has something do with his mother. That is realistic. That is brotherly concern.

Also, the thing is if the writers decide to prioritize certain stuff over others there’s nothing we can do, except maybe ask via tweet (politely) to see if they can add stuff like more heart to heart conversations between them. But we still have twelve more episodes, so we just have to wait and see.

Another thing that comes to mind about people not liking Jace is that maybe, maybe, y’all still holding grudges against Dom. Yes, I was also mad at him for a while. But it’s been like what, a year? People are allowed to grow and learn from their mistakes. He immediately apologized for his insensitivity and rudeness and has been trying to be a better person ever since. And he’s still paying for it. Isn’t it healthier for everyone to move on?

Listen, here in Mexico there’s a persistent macho culture, and people often use slurs as part of their everyday vocabulary, forgetting at times that what they’re saying is even a slur because of the context in which they’re using it. Is it disgusting? Of course. And I have friends and acquaintances whom I’ve heard saying things like that occasionally. And yes, some of them are just assholes, but some others... well, I know them, and I know they’re not bad people. Most of it comes from ignorance. So what we can do is explain why what they’re saying is wrong and hopefully they’ll learn from it. Dom is obviously loved by the cast and crew. They’ve become a family. So obviously they know him better than we do. If they can move past it, why can’t we? That’s my opinion. And there’s no denying that his performance as Jace has been remarkable, the vulnerability he showed when Alec and Izzy go inside his mind was amazing. And I mean, you don’t have to love Dom either, just don’t blame his character. Jace hasn’t done or said anything. So cut him some slack.

[bytheangell]

This is the Coda that Never Ends... Part 11

(Read on AO3) (Start at the beginning!) 

The moment he spots Clary outside the Institute, Underhill does his best not to panic.

He fails almost immediately. 

 This is not good. This is very, very not good, and there isn’t a single Shadowhunter inside the building with him who knows exactly what’s going on with Clary’s recent developments. Okay, technically none of them know exactly what’s going on, but at least Isabelle, Jace, and Simon have an idea. But this is a secret, and he can’t exactly turn to the nearest Shadowhunter and go ‘hey I need help with Clary because she remembers us sort of’ without potentially getting the others, Alec and Magnus included, in a world of trouble. 

Clary paces towards the door, but stops and turns back around again, buying him a little more time. What he needs is someone who can stop her before she tries to get inside. Someone who can get here almost instantaneously. 

...someone like a warlock, who can knock her out and make her forget ever being here today. 

Underhill takes out his phone and tries to call Magnus. It’s a number he has for emergencies, if he desperately needs to contact Alec but can’t reach him. He isn’t sure this qualifies as a true emergency - but he’s the only person who’s in the know enough to help just then. His hopes soar when he hears the sound of Magnus’ voice only to plummet again a moment later. 

“You’ve reached the voicemail of Magnus Bane. I can almost promise you I would rather be taking this call than at whatever boring meeting I’m stuck in, but--” 

“Shit,” Andrew clicks the prerecorded message off, having forgotten all about the meeting both he and Alec were in just then. He’s about to go down there himself when he sees two other Shadowhunters on camera coming down the street and back towards the Institute. He doesn’t know how much she can see but he can’t chance her seeing them… he can’t gamble on whatever reaction the rest of the Shadowhunters at the institute might have if they find out she’s here again. He hates to think it, but their lives were a lot quieter in the Pre- and Post-Clarissa Fairchild periods, and he’s willing to bet there are a lot of people here who would rather things remain that way. 

He’s out of options. He doesn’t have time to run his decision by Izzy first and can only hope he isn’t making a huge mistake. “Easier to ask forgiveness than permission…” he mutters to himself as the phone rings twice before someone picks up on the other end. 

“Andrew? Aren’t you at--” 

“There’s no time,” Andrew cuts his boyfriend off. “I need you to portal outside the Institute right now and stop Clary from coming in.” 

Andrew’s eyes are glued to the screen as the two Shadowhunters round the corner, spot Clary, but continue around her assuming she can’t see them. His heartbeat races with every passing second, watching Clary’s head turn to look at them, the way her eyes widen at the doors opening in front of her. 

She can see them. She can see the building.

“Clary?” Lorenzo repeats, clearly confused, but there’s no time to explain. 

“Please,” Andrew begs. “I need you to trust me.” 

It’s a lot to ask. They’ve been dating for a year, since Magnus and Alec’s wedding, but it was very casual for the first few months. Their schedules rarely aligned what with all of Lorenzo’s duties and appointments as the High Warlock of Brooklyn, but there was a notable shift a few months back when things started to feel a lot more serious. They talked more - not just small talk, but about the politics of their worlds, the impact their relationship might have on their personal lives, should things keep progressing the way they were. 

It hasn’t been perfect, but they’re still together, and that alone speaks volumes. But what he’s asking Lorenzo to do, with no guidelines or proper explanation, is a risk. Filling him in after he shows up (if he shows up) is a risk. He’s asking the High Warlock to show up at an Institute and stop someone who used to be a Shadowhunter. 

On the monitor Clary makes it up two of the stairs before she stops, leaning over with her head in her hands. 

The phone goes silent, and for a moment Andrew is convinced he overstepped, asking a favor too large and crossing a line by abusing his personal connection with Lorenzo.

But then he sees it. The shimmer on the screen in front of him just a few feet behind Clary, the glow of a portal opening up that allows Andrew to release the breath he didn’t notice he held caught in his chest until that moment of relief. Lorenzo came. Andrew stays in the surveillance room just long enough to see Lorenzo come up behind Clary, place a hand on her shoulder, and then catch her as she falls backwards, limp, before he’s activating his speed rune and making his way outside. 

As relieved as he is to see Lorenzo, it isn’t half as relieved as Lorenzo is to see him. 

“Oh good, you’re actually here. I was starting to think this was some elaborate set-up, some ridiculous Shadowhunter test of regulations or loyalties.” Lorenzo attempts to free a hand enough to wave dismissively, but he’s still supporting an entirely unconscious Clary. Speaking of… “I hope this is alright, dear,” Lorenzo says, the casual endearment sliding out with no one around to overhear. They have a very strict rule of professional courtesy around any other Shadowhunters or Warlocks, but the coast is clear and it’s nice to hear during his moment of panic. “You didn’t exactly provide me with a plan and she appeared to be in a great deal of pain.” 

“It’s fine,” Andrew reassures him, despite the fact that none of this is actually fine. “Thank you for coming.” The implied thank you for trusting me what he actually wants to say, but that’s a conversation he doesn’t have time for just then. 

“Shall we take her inside, then?” Lorenzo asks, shifting his weight uncomfortably beneath her, but stops at the violent shake of Andrew’s head. 

“No! I can’t let her in, she’s technically a mundane now. She shouldn’t even know this place exists, if I let her see the inside…” Andrew is still shaking his head as he pulls his phone back out of his pocket and dials a new number. 

“Isabelle? Nothings… okay, something’s wrong, but it’s under control. Mostly.” He frowns at the phone. “Clary came to the Institute.” Another pause. “She tried to come in but I called Lo- Mr. Rey to come knock her out, uh, gently.” 

Lorenzo looks like he’s losing patience by the second. 

“Of course I tried Magnus first,” Andrew starts, shooting an apologetic look at Lorenzo, who he knows will definitely take that knowledge personally. “He and Alec are in that meeting in Alicante, there wasn’t time for anyone else to get here. Listen, we can debate this all you want later, but right now I have the High Warlock of Brooklyn holding an unconscious Clary Fairchild outside of the New York Institute, and we can’t very well bring her inside so what would you like me to do with her?” His exasperation seems to get the point across and he only pauses a few seconds to get an answer before nodding. “Understood, we’ll meet you there.” 

Andrew hangs up the phone and meets the curious expression on Lorenzo’s face. “We?” 

“Unless you’re going to make me carry an unconscious teenager through the streets of New York to Bane’s old Loft,” Underhill says, leaving the option open. 

“I don’t know. Sure you don’t want to call Magnus up to ask first?” Lorenzo counters. 

“You know I would’ve called you first if it were up to me. But no one was supposed to know about Clary, not yet.” If Andrew thinks this is going to make things better, he’s very mistaken. 

“I dislike Shadowhunters keeping secrets that impact the entire Shadow World even more than I dislike coming in second-choice to Bane,” Lorenzo points out, his words more tense than Andrew is used to hearing when it’s just the two of them. Fuck. Despite the fact that Lorenzo gets along much better with Magnus, Alec, and the rest of the Shadowhunters ever since their trip to Edom, there are still some lingering rivalries between him and the other Warlock, and more than a few deep rooted trust issues regarding the Shadowhunters in general. Turns out a year of goodwill isn’t enough to undo centuries of systematic oppression and prejudice, not that Andrew blames him. 

But this? This certainly isn’t helping. 

“However,” Lorenzo continues, looking from Andrew to Clary. “I believe I’m owed an explanation at this juncture, so I suppose we best get going.” Another portal opens up, and Lorenzo motions for him to go through first. The fact that Lorenzo doesn’t leave him to fend for himself is a good sign, no matter what motivations he plays the action off under. 

Stepping through the portal Andrew is immediately caught off-guard by the artwork everywhere. He forgot all about Clary’s exhibition pieces until just then - apparently Magnus, or one of the others, had brought them all here. Lorenzo is equally thrown off by the paintings and sculptures, eyeing them critically as he walks Clary to the nearby sofa and places her gently down. 

Andrew makes his way over to one of the paintings, followed by Lorenzo, though neither of them directly address the other right away. Andrew isn’t positive where he stands right now, and whether Lorenzo’s comment back at the Institute was more of mild annoyance or something heavier. 

“I didn’t know Bane took such a sudden liking to modern abstract art…” Lorenzo muses, and Andrew is about to explain when they both freeze at the sound of footsteps through a portal opening behind them. 

“That’s Lightwood-Bane, Rey,” Magnus says. “And I haven’t. Not that Biscuit’s art isn’t lovely, but I certainly don’t want to cover my apartment with renditions of Edom.”  

They follow Magnus’ gaze to a painting in heavy reds, oranges, and dark browns. Andrew doesn’t recognize it but feels Lorenzo tense beside him.

“I told you he’d tell Lorenzo,” Magnus half-whispers to Alec after he steps through the portal beside Magnus, loud enough that he knows everyone will hear. 

“Don’t worry, tried to he call you first,” Lorenzo says, bristling slightly. “And he hasn’t spilled anything yet. I seem to remember another occasion in the not-too-distant past where the Shadowhunters kept a key piece of Shadow World intel from you while you were the High Warlock. Remind me how that played out for everybody?”  

To Andrew’s surprise instead of stepping forward to confront Lorenzo’s accusatory statement, Alec actually flinches at the memory. “There was nothing to keep from you. We didn’t know anything… we still don’t, not really.” Andrew listens as Alec takes full responsibility for the decision to keep this quiet, even though he knows for a fact the majority of it is Isabelle’s call discounting the fact that they all played a role in keeping it quiet. 

“Somebody in this room seems to know plenty,” Lorenzo observes, looking from the paintings to the unconscious girl on the sofa. “Plenty that she shouldn’t.” 

“I didn’t want to create a panic over nothing. It’s only been a day and I told them not to tell anyone until we had something solid to report.” Andrew sees what Alec is doing, trying to shoulder the burden of the order given so that Lorenzo might forgive Andrew a little easier for his role in all of this, and while Andrew appreciates it he isn’t sure it’s going to work. He flashes Alec a grateful smile from where he stands slightly behind Lorenzo. 

Thankfully, Lorenzo isn’t the type to start something here. This is a discussion they’ll have later, without a doubt; for now they have business to attend to. 

“Wonderful. It’s only been a day and you already needed my assistance. Clearly this grand mystery of yours is in wonderful hands.” Lorenzo sighs, but turns back to Alec and Magnus expectantly. “Is anybody going to actually enlighten me as to what’s going on here, or are we just going to keep dancing around the fact that you hadn’t planned on telling me if you didn’t need my help?” 

“I’ll fill you in, and make us drinks” Magnus says, walking over and leading Lorenzo off towards the kitchen. “But Alexander wasn’t lying, we really don’t know the extent of things yet…” their voices trail away, leaving only Alec and Underhill left in the living room with Clary. 

“I’m sorry, Alec. Magnus didn’t answer, and I don’t have Loss’s number, and-” 

Alec waves a dismissive hand. “You made the right call. There’s a reason we trust you with these sorts of things, Underhill. You do what’s right, and you do what you have to. Those two are probably already over their flash of old rivalries,” Alec points out, glancing briefly back towards the kitchen. “And I’m sorry I put you in that position in the first place.” 

Underhill shrugs. “It’s my own fault, really. Ever since I covered for you at the bar that night, it seems as if my job duties expanded to ‘Secret Keeper’.” There’s no bitterness in his tone, however, and the small smile that accompanies the statement comes with a light laugh. He’s glad Alec trusts him. He’s glad they’re friends, despite the trouble it brings sometimes, and doesn’t regret the trouble of being a part-time confidant of the Inquisitor for one second. 

Alec laughs as well. 

“Drinks for the Shadowhunters?” Magnus calls from the kitchen, and Andrew almost agrees before he remembers why he’s here in the first place. 

“No, I’m on dut--shit, I’m on duty.” In the rush of getting Clary away from the Institute and somewhere safe, and then the bit of drama with Lorenzo, he nearly forgot all about what he was doing when all of that went down. 

Lorenzo and Magnus come back out into the living area and Andrew bites down on his lower lip as he looks at his boyfriend, wondering if he should chance asking him for another favor while he’s clearly upset with him. 

He doesn’t have to ask - Lorenzo sighs, resigned,  and a moment later there’s a portal opened up just behind Andrew. “Get back to work, dear. We can talk after your shift.” 

Andrew smiles at that, knowing the ‘dear’ is definitely a good sign. “Thank you. Good luck with…” Andrew trails off, sparing one last glance at Clary, before vanishing through the portal and back to the front of the Institute. 

So much for staying out of the worst of it. At least it’s out of his hands for now. The rest of his shift is quiet and when he texts Lorenzo afterward he doesn’t get a reply - whether he’s busy, or ignoring him, or already asleep, Andrew can’t tell, but he embraces the excuse to collapse into bed instead, pushing it off to deal with tomorrow. He’s had more than enough excitement for one day and has the sinking suspicion this might be one of the last nights of good sleep he’ll get for quite some time.