#Ive not watched ride the cyclone in a while

[the-actual-ocean]

Psst

Mufasa dies

Spoilers!!!! Spoilers!!!! Spoiler alert!!!! AAAAA

[madwickedawesome]

figured id visualize something i said today

[radomfandombinger]

Just watched Stage Craft Studios version of ride the cyclone and omfg- I AM IN LOVE!! (Not because perfectdolls in this version is basically canon) IT WAS SO WELL DONE AND HONESTLY ONE OF THE BEST IVE SEEN!!! (And honestly the little dip that Ocean does to Jane during Noel’s Lament melted my heart🥹❤️)

LIKE

AGHHH THEYRE SO PERFECT TOGETHER😭❤️

(Ocean: @mostlikelyupset (I absolutely loved this version of Ocean! They were so lively and happy while still having that perfect amount of bitterness? I don’t know but it was amazing) ❤️)

(Jane: @noodlescout (I absolutely adored this Jane! The yarn hair was an amazing little detail and the makeup and clothes really gave me that haunted doll like person type feel y’know?)❤️)

All in all this is definitely one of my favourite productions I’ve seen and I just want everybody to know about it because it was amazing and I highly recommend🤭 (also I’m insane for the perfectdolls hinting! Ps. The actors for Jane and Ocean are dating irl and I think that is the cutest fricking thing ever-)

[gushalperswife]

Ghost of uraniam

Pairing: Ricky potts x fem!reader

Y/e/c= Your eye color, Y/H/C= Your hair color, you get the pattern

Tw:

Au: The whole choir got another chance to live, and ricky and walk and talk (sorry not that sorry)

Summary: After the accideint and being able to get to live again, He keeps seieng someone over and over agin that hes never seen. (Plus reader is like jane, they are very forgettable but not to ricky.)

Ricky felt relived that he and the rest of his choir mates got to live after the cyclone incident. Well Karnak put them 10 minutes before the were going to go on the ride, so the didnt because they knew what were to happen if they did. But he had felt stange after their Revival. Like someone always had their eyes on him, but when he looked around nothing. There was no one. Maybe he was just on edge after what happend or Maybe hes just parinoid, But he swears he feels eyes on his at all times.

In his 3rd period he feels someone watching him from the back pf the classroom from an angle. He looks back, theres just a girl looking away from him, not able to to see her face. Her hair is down, her uniform is crisp and clean. No one looked nor talked to her all period. When the bell rung after ricky grabbed his stuff she was fone before anyone else was. Weird. Lunch comes and shes there too. A few tables away facing away from him. Shes just sitting there, no food infront of her just sitting. Then shes gone when he looks back to see her. He doent see her the rest of the day. Hes about to go home, and sees her infront of pennt with her back turned so he couldnt see her face.

Stange. Thats all he thought whenever he saw her, well the back of her. Never seeing her face. The next day he talks to penny about this girl and shes confused, "Sorry, who?" she would say anytime he tried bring this mystery girl up. Hes seen her with each member of the choir. Only one had a fond reberence of her, Mischa. Weird, mischas memory is poor. "Oh you mean that girl whos uniform is more clean then anyone elses? Yeah ive spoken to her a few times" He tells ricky. "Well, what does she look like, like face wise?" Ricky asks mischa. "Her eyes are a shade of (Y/E/C) and her hair is (y/h/c), her skin a nice (Y/s/c)" Mischa says while on his phone barely looking at ricky. "Thanks" Ricky says with a sweet smile, "Anytime broski" Mischa says when ricky walks away.

His one mission, Find out who this girl is. He sees her the next day in 3rd period, Thank god shes here. They had partner work and they got to pick who they wanted to be with, Seeing that this girl was lone he walks up to her, He has on a sweet smile. "Hi" He days with a slight wave, The girl looks up at him with doe eyes "Hi.." She says back.

And that's how I'm going to end this because I've been trying to work on this for like 3 months and now I don't know what to wait for it anymore so this is all y'all get

[vthetease]

my favorite things

it's me birthday

so just incase anyone wanted to know some stuff about V

heres some random info about my life as well as some of my favorite things

i am a libra sun, aquarius moon, capricorn rising

i like dark chocolate more than any other; i have since i first got my period. i like gummy candy and starbursts but my favorite are the little cola bottle candies. i like tea and coffee sweet, but flavorful. i like energy drinks and slushees and wanted my first tattoo to be a cola-mtn dew slushee but it wasnt. i like waffles more than pancakes but would prefer a toaster strudel or muffin. i like apples and lemons and cinnamon and garlic and truffle and black cherries but not maraschino. i dont like onions or cilantro or swiss cheese. i dont like chili because something about the consistency of wet, tomato-ee hamburger makes me ill. i also can't drink hard liquor.

i like smells like thick cologne that lingers and juniper and spearmint and old houses and honeysuckle and the smells of the earth when it stops raining in the summer. i like the smell of other peoples laundry soap and coffee more than my own. i like eucalyptus and aloe and teakwood and dragons blood incense.

i like classic rock from my dad and 80s pop ballads from my mom and afi and lincoln park from my older sibling and 4*TOWN for my younger sibling. one of my earliest loves in music was Paramore, and hayley is an inspiration of mine. i like pop punk and the band ive seen the most is sleeping with sirens, 4 times now. i like hip hop and rnb and acapella and piano. i like music that makes me feel alive. anything from violin to screaming, i just like passion. i'm a very passionate person and always have been despite myself.

i sing and like singing in the car, while i shower, and cook. i am very loud but sometimes can do cool things. i like how singing makes me happy and helps me relate to other people and also my predecessors. i like how i feel connected to those before me through my voice. my first time singing in public was my 4th grade talent show. I sang The Only Exception by Paramore because my parents thought Almost Lover was too dramatic and adult for a 12 year old

i like old movies and i used to fall asleep to them at my grandparents and wake up to them at weekends at my dads apartment. i like musicals like ride the cyclone and drama like the fault in our stars and action like john wick and will always be down for a horror movie. i like get out and candyman and hereditary and black swan and blair witch and creep. i like the twilight zone and rod serling has a special place in my heart. i also like alex trebek from jeopardy, matthew grey gubler, penn badgely, andrew scott, evan peters, and my biggest current celeb crush is matt rife.

i like being alone in busy places. i like to talk to people but i also like to disappear to the other room during the party. im the girl you find sitting outside sometimes smoking, or on the balcony. i enjoy walking back into a concert midsong and seeing all the happy little people being happy. i like stepping away from chaos to appreciate it. i like driving on highways at night when its empty and im high. i like watching airplanes land. i like sleep and i sleep in a tank top and underwear but never socks. my dreams always take me back to this very similiar place every single night doing different tasks with different people. i might start calling it the twilight zone. i like to paint my emotions in my makeup and artwork. i have always felt very deeply and openly.

i like the moon and the stars and it is so fascinating to learn about the same beautiful big rock my ancestors saw. i feel drawn to white butterflies and birds and bumblebees and skinks ( they r tiny lizards). i like history and culture, but im really bad at math.

thats all i can come up with for now. if you have any questions let me know

thanks for reading about me, lmk if youre in love yet

valentine, 22 today <3

[newsworthy-rust]

when the high school production of ride the cyclone you watched was so good you cant imagine anyone else as the characters now

also i had only listened to the cast recording before so thats probably part of it

also my friend was besties with the whole cast i got to talk to everyone it was the best experience ive had in a while

[shrewmingledotcom]

Hello hii Lira here (fear not, this is just my main account)

Miscellaneous question, just because I can

1. What was your first anime ? Also what is your favorite one ?

2. Other than the music franchise, do you have favorite music artists ?

3. Oh and you write as well, right ? Do you have a favorite piece of your own (some work, dialogue, scene, idea whatever)

ooh thanks for the ask lira^^ (ive never gotten these before lmao) 1. my first anime ever was probably yu yu hakusho, probably because i had an older cousin living with me and we had to share the TV all the time and cuz he was older he would be in charge almost every time we watched so i just watched whatever he watched. my favorite anime is jojo's bizarre adventure i've been a fan for a very long time (probably cuz my cousin also introduced me to it) but i've watched the anime and all of the rohan spin offs and im currently reading the manga (im on the last few chapters of part 7) and im saving up money for diavolo tomonui tbh i actually used to be obsessed with jojo before hypmic/paralive 2. besides paradox live and hypnosis mic, i actually really like "The Orion Experience" they are probably my favorite band and i absolutely love their albums "Sugar Deluxe" and "Children of the Stars" im also a theater kid so besides hypmic and paralive i actually listen to a lot of musical soundtracks (recently i did a class production of mean girls where i played janis!!) my favorite musicals are Ride the Cyclone and Beetlejuice 3. i do write but not as much anymore, a couple years ago i did write a lot but i guess i got really burnt out. one of my posts before mentioned that the last fanfic i wrote was like 2 years ago but if i did have a favorite i guess it would be a fanfic idea about kantaro and reo, where it focused on both of their insecurities towards each other. kantaro attempting to deal with his social media obsession, insecurities and now jealousy towards reo, while reo on the other hand was dealing with the possibility of his fans "abandoning" him for another idol and feeling insecure/jealous about it like kantaro my ideas for the fic was that it was gonna be fairly dark with psychological horror and angst in general. i called the fanfic "Copycat" and honestly i might consider writing it but for the time being im kinda busy so maybe sometime in the future i will^^

sorry if my english and grammar is bad i kinda have a little struggle with it and also if the post itself is a bit jumbled up^^

[brookiidookiii]

16 18 23 25 44... for the musical asks

16. What is your favorite female solo?

Rn my strongest suit from aida or roxie from chicago which im also doing for my wizard of oz audition ha. every song from six too. i saw that one live a while ago and it was so good

18. What is your favorite female duet?

a boy like that/i have a love from west side story every time i listen to it it makes me want to cry. i prefer the original movies version than the remake tho tbh it feels more emotional. when the actresses from my wss did it i was backstage on the verge it had me like 🙂🙂🙂 especially since we had to do the scene in the store when the jets harass anita right after i actually felt bad

23. What's a song you love from a musical you don't otherwise like?

i cant really think of musicals i dont really like. im not a fan of be more chill or dear evan hansen but i cant rlly think of any songs from those plays that stand out to me tbh. michael in the bathroom is pretty good

25. What catches your attention in a musical and makes it interesting to you? Is there a subgenre of musicals you especially like?

no idea. i feel like what i like is pretty diverse. i usually dont lean towards ones with fantasy elements if that counts

44. If you got to direct any musical, which one would you choose? Talk about how you would stage it.

no idea for this one either. id be a horrible director pouygfvbjkl theres only rlly musicals i wanna act in. if i could have way with any musical tho id be ride the cyclone 1000000%%% ive watched so many different performances of it. theres so many different things id love to do with it. when i saw rtc live the actors had wounds and we all bloody from the accident so i really like that. and jane doe wore a veil and got to take it off at the end to reveal her face when it was revealed she was penny lamb and that made me so emotionallll i always cry during the last part of the play. i loved that acting decision so much it was great

[hyjiinx]

ok youve responded to my ask, activating the Uber Powers of my Uber Autism.

i am the singular person to she/her the mimic. i took one look and went "girl" i am going to fight on this hill and i dont plan on dying [/silly do yalls thang]

ive reached a state of fnaf nirvana, where i have realized that this series a kind of complicated that atp anything goes about the story its trying to tell. thus i like to keep the book's lore on the mimic at an arms reach, and tentatively take it into consideration because the books complicate everything

anyways, the mimic Does Not Understand death. like. she has never been given the chance to understand the concept.

at this point its undeniable that she has achieved some form of sentience. like. in the games she does/say things that aren't nessecary to her goal. shes almost kinda sassy? girlboss.

if youve ever watched Ride the Cyclone, i'd imagine that she'd act a lot like Jane Doe at her core/base/"not mimicing anyone in particular"

no matter how much i love the mimic, however, i think steel wool is really fucking up how cool the mimic is. like. for the love of god dont make her another afton i would literally commit vehicular manslaughter if thats true. it almost kind of feels like they dont know what to do with her? like she doesnt even appear in help wanted 2 in any way, shape, or form

just a funny thing ive noticed while reading the mimic's stories in the book, the writing seems to significantly increase whenever she appears. its a bit bizzarre

YESSSS!! SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG, I GOT DISTRACTED

[romanticallyghosting]

20, 12, 17, 18, and 6 for the ask game

20. favourite musical for sentimental reasons

i HAVE to say falsettos. just because it means so much to me as a queer person. and it makes me SO emotional and i just think that out of all the musicals i know of its the one ive thought most about?? like theres so many themes and so much symbolism to unravel if youre up for it and yeah. i think itll always hold a special place in my heart

also wicked!! its the first musical i saw, and its one of the few shows ive had the honor of seeing MULTIPLE times!!! and the second time was on a class trip i remember very fondly regardless, sooooo

12. favourite musical that’s no longer on broadway

little shop of horrors!!! it had a broadway run, but i think people have said it almost works better in a more intimate space, and ive seen it and agree!! its off-broadway now, and has a rotating cast of VERY big names in broadway (jeremy jordan, darren criss who was on glee, christian borle, hell even the drag queen jinkx monsoon!!!). if you ever get a chance to go see it i highly recommend!! its a very good show

17. favourite musical that you’re ashamed to like

i feel like this could be a basic answer.... but hamilton. i think its pretty polarizing and i dont really LOVE it anymore, but it was the first musical i really got into, and it holds a special place in my heart just for that.

its a little old to me now so i wont listen to it voluntarily, but i still know EVERY word and will not hesitate if someone puts it on efufdjfuiegr

18. favourite musical you never talk/blog about

i LOVE hadestown and something about is just so cool to me. i cried SO much watching it and flowers is UGHFUGHFDJFHG such a good song. honestly??? any song with eva noblezada is a song im in love with (im in love with HER)

idk why i dont talk about it!!! i think that some musicals are easy to talk about because the characters are silly to me or whatever but with hadestown its more of a core message ahd the theme and the atmosphere and the songs that make me love it

6. favourite musical you’ve seen live

ugh thats hard because ive had the privilege of seeing a lot of shows!! i think i have to go with ride the cyclone though, because theres something you just cant beat about seeing a musical youve LOVED for a while and youve talked so much about but that youd never thought youd get to see live. so that was really neat and it was a lot of fun because i got to bring some friends with me who also loved the show and share that experience with them :))

[fail-boy]

okok i did the playlists...i hope it sends bc i know tumblr gets weird with links

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLUljoUDIIcPQogdOE124yj6sGb2WzrvSX&si=bQWn-xASUqMr6oJZ (video essay playlist, it hasnt been updated in a bit besides the couple i added on just now, but it's the ones ive watched more than once. ill definitely be adding onto it over time!!)

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4ZoTzZJYiXF3UwDmPEQnGO?si=Og-Yhho6SE2NUIxeWJt-MA&pi=u-GGePLzyXQOe6 (playlist !!!!!! it was only gonna be a couple but. now it's eight hours...)

im very normal and not thinking about your lap still (it's been plaguing me for days), and i also did Not (i did) consider that you'd look rlly hot smoking while i was there 😔 ive never smoked before but i kinda wanna try it with you 🫣 id rather try edibles though first bc of those thc(?) nerds ropes!!!! they were my favorite candy growing up :3333

weeee okok ill try to catch up with dnp....thank you for the suggestion :3

my faaaavorite musical is falsettos (and in trousers which is like the prequel to it!), and i also really love ride the cyclone!!!!! the character jane doe is my favorite :] if you ever have the time i recommend ride the cyclone, it's an hour long (compared to falsettos being two hours long...) n really fun !! you can find it on youtube :3 (i also like bmc, i like to reenact bits and pieces of it as michael when im bored !!!!)

hereditary !!!!!!!!!! i absolutely love hereditary ive only seen it once but aaaaugh....peter is my favorite character n i care about him a lot :[ i tried watching saw but i got sad bc i was worried adam was gonna die and i immediately got attached to him lol, but i wanna try again !!!!! everyone talks about it so much i gottaaaaa, ill be brave 😤😤

i hope you're doing good today :33333 sending you all my love and good vibes for your cornflakes !!!!!!!!

- 🫀🦷

hey sugar! it's so lovely to hear from you again <3

fuck yeah! i gave it a look through and ive seen a couple and some are new to me! im definitely gonna watch some tonight while me and my gf have the house to ourselves <3

ooooooh thanks cutie!!! im very excited to give this a listen as well! you have good taste pup i like lots of these songs <3

sweet thing <3 i want you in my lap more than anything, wanna cuddle you and kiss you and hold you while you try and be good for me <3 id love to smoke with you! that would be a lot of fun, we can start you with little joints and blunts and then build up to pipes and bongs :p i bet youd look gorgeous hitting a bong and getting all stoned <3

hell yeah! i rly hope you enjoy their videos, they're so good <3

oh yes ive heard of that! very good taste bb! ill try and check them both out this week, i have lots of time to myself! god ur really fucking adorable sugar id love to watch you sing your lil heart out

yippee!!! i have two hereditary tattoos; charlie's pigeon drawing in her notebook, and the little sigil that pops up everywhere (like on the grandma's necklace) <3 peter is my fave he's such a good relatable character! awww sugar thats so real of you, i wish i could watch it with you so i could hold you and keep you safe! maybe watch it with your partner and they can snuggle you while you watch it and keep u cozy and safe! its a really really good movie i think youll enjoy it!! adam is the scrunkly

my day was pretty good! busy as hell but im almost done for the day, just need to order dinner and eat <3 thank u sugar im sending good vibes right back and kisses and hugs <3

[augment-techs]

Song Lyric/Spoken Word Poetry Writing Prompts IV

-It's not your body that I need, but that's what sleeps next to me//And you're killing it; Please Eat by Nicole Dollanganger -Paranoias all I've got left; Papercut by Linkin Park -Sir was blinking at me//Is this because your date is a freak?; Red Flags by Tom Cardy -I am too young to be cast in porn//And you are too young to buy alcohol; Letter to a New Crush by Sean Patrick Mulroy -I'm in control (I'm in Control) I'm in control (I'm in Control)//I Hate Control//HERE//Take all of my power; Letter to a New Crush by Sean Patrick Mulroy -'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind//Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine; Last Resort by Papa Roach -Baby, you can find me under the lights//Diamonds under my eyes//Turn the rhythm up, don't you wanna just come along for the ride?//Oh, my outfit so tight//You can see my heartbeat tonight//I can take the heat, baby, best believe--That's the moment I shine; Dance the Night Away by Dua Lipa -I will always be waiting//And I'll always be watching//We are one breath apart, my love//And I'll be holding it in 'till we're together; Speak to Me by Amy Lee -Fight so dirty, but you love so sweet//Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth//Late night devil, put your hands on me//And never, never, never ever let go; Teeth by 5 Seconds of Summer -I guess, I guess I got what I wanted//I never knew what I needed//Leave it up to me to fuck it up without a good reason; Me Myself & I by 5 Seconds of Summer -"Tell him that, like him, I choose to burn out rather than fade away!"; Noel's Lament from Ride the Cyclone -Remember when I told you, "No matter where I go//I'll never leave your side//You will never be alone"; Way Back Home by SHAUN Sometimes I feel like I'm all the pigeons//Trapped in all the subway tunnels//In all the major cities of America; Some Things You Should Know Before Dating Me by Jamie Mortara -I love the word "Fuck"//"Fuck" is such a good word//I love that it doesn't have a definition//It's a shapeshifter; Fuck by Nora Cooper -Once I thought that love was meant for anyone else but me//Once I thought you'd never come my way//Now it only goes to show how wrong we all can be//For now I have to tell you everyday; My Love by Petula Clark -You don't care what I've been through//'Cause you had it harder; You're Exhausting by Beth Crowley -Hold her down while her gate is open//Hold her down while I get a taste//Hold her down while I share her spoils//I will not let any part go to waste; Hold Them Down from Epic: The Musical -I'll take "Fast Forward Two Years" for 200 Alex//Because I can't wait to see who I'm crying over then; Love is a Game (Show) by Naomi Haag -I want you to be happy//But I don't wanna watch; Love is a Game (Show) by Naomi Haag -Don't say what I want to hear//Make your intentions clear; Spare Me by PrinceWhateverer

[behestofheaven]

Hello hello hi, i am very sorry for doing this a little late, and i cannot think of a decent intro at the moment and for that i am very sorry. Thank you for the tag nevertheless!

Last song: “Return of Salieri” by Warmen. I recently got an obsession with neo-classical metal for some reason and found it while scavenging for the said music ive been deprived of.

Currently reading: Dracula by Brahm Stoker. I am a little baby that is just entering the fandom. Be nice to me I am still learning. Googoogaga.

Currently Watching: I dont watch many things, but “What We Do in the Shadows” sounds really cool to watch, Vladislav and Viago are very silly, in my opinion. (Yet another fandom i am entering! Wowie!)

Current obsession: The Phantom of the Opera, sprinkled with a dash of Ride the Cyclone and Dracula. I am resisting the urge to type a whole essay about my love for Erik. I am very normal about him, as you can see.

I wont tag because i already did in a previous post and I don’t want to be annoying ��� Thank you for listening to my rant, hopefully it wasn’t too boring hahsjdjjgj

I was tagged by @puddinginthemix 🤩

Tag nine (9) people you'd like to know better

Last song: Lothlorien by Enya! I was giving myself an Enya moment on my phone after seeing a Tumblr post about her living all alone in her castle. I listened to that album of hers that everyone had in the early 90s, and made my sister laugh by singing to Orinoco Flow AND THEN I played Lothlorien (another Enya song) which my child recognised from the LOTR movies, which pleased them 🥰

Currently reading: Possession by AS Byatt. I read it many years ago. It's the only book that's ever made me cry, and it's a joy to read it again as an adult. I understand a lot more of it now.

Currently watching: nothing right now! I'm in a place with no reliable internet and no TV. I want to watch The Sixth Commandment when I can because it sounds utterly harrowing.

Current obsession: thinking about a fic I've taken about 9 months off actually writing (it's called The Rosy Hours) which is hard because the relationship dynamics are difficult and sad and awful, but I still find them quite fascinating which is why I haven't given up on it...

Tagging absolutely zero pressure: @eriksdreamery @emotionalmotionsicknessxx @artaline @herbalpath63017 @pianomanblaine @apileofpans @rienerose @forestscribe4 @sadeyedlady-writes

[owen-not-carvour]

i think one of my favorite things about ride the cyclone is ocean and noel’s dynamic.

like obviously they hate each other and it’s hilarious because of that alone.

but also! they really are COMPLETE opposites. from everything from their …idk what to call it.. Worldviews?? to the way they view themselves to their fuckin nail polish!! and i love that.

like in fall fair suite when ocean is yelling abt them dying and suing the fair and noel responds with what’s the point bc they’re dead.. same thing w the “carpe diem”/“c’est la vie” thing later on. and again,, just throughout the entire show. they have such VASTLY different outlooks on life and death and it’s truly fascinating to watch them interact.

also. everything noel says ocean has to say something on top of it. like when he’s talking to mischa abt talia and the whole LOVE CONQUERS ALL thing. like noel is the first to tell mischa not to find out what could’ve happened,, but then ocean jumps in and tries to clarify (rather needlessly ofc) and i find it so interesting that She’s the one who actually says the words “love conquers all” first. but then noel repeats it and That’s what mischa latches onto. (that’s another dynamic i could go on abt forever. nischa my beloved). like that’s just ocean trying to make herself look better but in the end it still just ends up benefitting noel.

also when noel’s doing his introduction and karnak stabs at his job and noel says the IDONTWANTTOSINGABT T H A T and NOT EVEN 2 SECONDS LATER ocean is literally Jumping at the idea of going again. like. bitch Calm Down..

another thing,, thinking abt how ocean doesn’t really say Anything about noel in what the world needs,,, and honestly that says more abt her thoughts on him than if she did yknow. she gives him 2 lines “sandwich artist” and “he’s never gonna breed”. i’ve already talked abt the sandwich artist one and how that’s just a low blow bc a) he worked at taco bell,, not an actual sandwich in sight b) he hated that job anyway.. but as for he’s never gonna breed. just the fact that That’s what ocean bases how Good it would be if noel were brought back to life says so much abt her.

bottom line: everything she does is So goddamn performative.

like legit directly after that when she’s saying all her I Love Yous to try and backpedal,, she literally just tells noel that she thinks he’s miserable (and not in the way he wants to be) and that he’s nothing like the stereotypes. (which i mean. at least there’s that ig but again,, not in a good way).

legit like. the only reason she doesn’t talk abt noel in wtwn more is bc she doesn’t wanna be Too Homophobic (girlie doesn’t wanna get canceled lol) so she just. doesn’t say anything.. and just. it shows you the type of person she really is.

as for noel,, i think it’s really interesting to see how he is genuinely a much nicer person than ocean. like they’re both so bitchy. but ocean has this fake Nice exterior while noel Is bitchy on the outside and That’s his fake side. again,, they’re perfect opposites!!

like look at how the First thing noel does after what the world needs is stick up for constance. or what i already said abt mischa/talia/love conquers all. even when he helps pin the cape on jane for her birthday. dude is just so fucking sweet i love him so much :)

ocean is nice on the outside but on the inside she’s a mean bitch,, and noel is a bitch on the outside but actually a really nice guy on the Inside :)

and ofc the Reasons for their different exteriors is a Lot too. ocean wanted to be likable and be the Best while deeply and genuinely believing she’s above everyone else while noel probably Had to cultivate that exterior because of how he was treated. dude was gay in a catholic school in the middle of nowhere. that’s like a recipe for disaster so no Wonder he’s the way that he is yknow. it’s part of his attempt at “blending in”-which is the saddest fuckin thing ive ever heard. mischa’s right. noel is tragic :/

[lemon-writings]

Hamish Update: Hamish Pt. II

Genre: Adult literary fiction // Status: Rewriting // Progress: 53,548 words

Pt. I

I’m back with chapters IV-VI! Hoo boy, is it an event.

Chapter IV

Epitaph: “The things that go unsaid are often the things that eat at you--whether because you didn't get to have your say, or because the other person never got to hear you and really wanted to.”-Celeste Ng, Everything I Never Told You

This is the chapter where we meet Ofelia! She is one of my favorite characters to write for. She is beautiful and wonderful and a goddess and I adore her. (I’m reading myself for filth through the character of Ofelia because she is literally both my type and the woman I’ve always wanted to be.) Ofelia is the Queen of Roasts.

There are also some confrontations between Hamish and his mother, which I live for.

Excerpts: 

First of all, I love Ofelia. Ofelia Bello, if you are free this Thursday, I’m free to hang out any time. Again, Ofelia Bello, if you are on Thursday, I’m free to hang out. Please.

She’s a goddess. Literal goddess.

She looked at me, eyes large and all-seeing, more like fire opals set into the bronze of her face than eyes. I felt as though she were seeing into the very essence of my being, judging me like a god. Ofelia was one of those people who would never be referred to as mortal. She was Prithvi; she was Freyja; she was Persephone. She was anything but mortal, made of fire, flowers, and knowledge.

And a savage. She’s That Bitch every moment of every day, even when she has her “perfect daughter and sister” persona on. And when she doesn’t? Well...

“You could fight back,” she said. “You could make yourself known, reveal who and what you are. Scream, I’m a person, not a thing.” Ofelia fixes the wisps of hair arranged around her face into a perfect frame. 

“I’m not a fighter,” I said.

“No,” Ofelia said, watching me carefully. “You’re a runner.” She uncrossed her legs and stretched them out. “He doesn’t like fighters. That’s me. That’s my brother. He loves runners. If you can confront your issues, you won’t stay for long.”

Hamish confronting his mother when she dismisses his childhood trauma is honestly *chef’s kiss*. Writing my characters being savages is one of my favorite things to do, right after dramatic, floral descriptions of women. 

(TW: referenced child abuse!)

“Ungrateful for what? My nightmares? My feelings of abandonment? My hatred of authority? Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for me, mother. Without yours and father’s amazing parenting, I would’ve grown up to be a well-adjusted adult.”

And the trademark Soft Moment of the chapter. 

(TW: death mention!)

“Don’t die,” you whispered, hot and damp against my face. “Please don’t die.”

“I won’t,” I promised you, so open and honest it felt like I’d cracked open my ribs to expose my child’s-heart to you like a blossoming flower. 

The tension between all the characters has increased so much in this chapter and tbh the anticipation is killing me, and I know what happens in this book.

Chapter V

Epitaph: “At parties I point to my body and say This is where love comes to die. Welcome, come in, make yourself at home. Everyone laughs, they think I’m joking.”--Warsan Shire, “The House”

This chapter begins with Hamish and Horacio in an interview about their “relationship”. There’s something lovely about the way that Horacio and Hamish talk about each other, even if it is built on half-truths. Then we’re introduced to Leon, Ofelia’s brother, and oh boy. Oh boy. Is that a wild ride.

This is also the chapter where Hamish begins planning how he’s going to get Claude to confess to the murder, via a PowerPoint presentation. Yes. Yes, good.

Excerpts:

The first is when Horacio is asked when he knew he was in love with Hamish. It’s just... soft. As a former theatre kid, this really is the dream.

“No,” I said, tearing my eyes from you. “We were in Theatre 101 together, and he was reading Doctor Faustus and playing all the parts. He was jumping around and doing different voices, being really dramatic and having the time of his life. It was the first time I’d seen him act young instead of like a wistful old man.”

I didn’t tell her that you’d been wearing a black hoodie with the moon phases printed on it, the strings following you as you leaped from place to place, sticking your tongue out when you fumbled a line, your tongue stud glittering in the lights. It felt too intimate to share with the world. When I saw you in the lights, being a goofy young man for even just a moment, in your purest state of adorable in your glee, my heart expanded well past the confines of my too-tight ribcage.

Here’s Horacio’s mention of his past ex-boyfriends, because he can hardly believe that he is in a semi-functional relationship with anyone, even if it’s fake.

(TW: sex and abuse!)

It was simple symbiosis: I was a parasite, and they were the hosts, defending themselves against me with violence. I don’t think any of them ever loved me, just loved using me while I would use them, trying to nibble on their scraps of affection between beatings and the rough sex.

Leon is... a lot. He’s sort of obsessed with masculinity, like someone who watched Fight Club without really realizing it’s meant to be satire and wants to punch whoever talks shit about him.

Leon was one of those guys who either believed he was better than you or you weren’t worth his time. Sometimes, in his more complex moments, he would believe both at once; at his most simplistic, he would believe neither. 

The further I go in this work, the more difficult it gets to pick excerpts!

Chapter VI

Epitaph: “Even still, we run. We have not reached our average of 57.92 years without knowing that you run through it, and it hurts and you run through it some more, and if it hurts worse, you run through it even more, and when you finish, you will have broken through. In the end, when you are done, and stretching, and your heartbeat slows, and your sweat dries, if you've run through the hard part, you will remember no pain.”--Lauren Groff, The Monsters of Templeton

Hamish gives the presentation. It goes about as well as you can assume. Now that Genoveva and Claude know he’s onto them... it’s game time. There is so much plot that happens in this chapter that I can’t really mention much of it, other than this being the point where the work goes from a slow-building horror to more of a thriller. It’s a major turning point and climax. Whoo!

Also, Ofelia and Horacio bond, which is awesome! I love the dynamic between them. They have the sort of friendship where you can tell that they really enjoy each other and their company.

Excerpts:

Most of these are from the portion where Ofelia and Horacio are talking in the woods because 1.) it’s the least-spoilery part of this chapter and 2.) their friendship is one of the most light-hearted parts of this work. Please, allow me to indulge.

Ofelia isn’t necessarily a “bean”, but she’s still babey. I adore her.

Ofelia gave me a mysterious look, full of night sky and brilliance, then added a crescent of a smile. She began climbing, one foot and then the other, effortlessly lifting herself up the branches as if she was built to do nothing but ascend trees, her tights protecting her modesty from me as I struggled up after her, unused to the climb. 

And then Ofelia describes a dream of mine every wlw: going a group of young women and becoming the modern Sappho. 

“I think I’ll buy a house somewhere by the ocean. Live with a group of girls who love books and pictures. Become my own Sappho, create my own Lesbos.” 

Then there’s this astute observation from Horacio about how Hamish views himself. Hamish doesn’t have a very good self-image. At all. Then again, neither does Horacio. 

You’d make yourself into an object sometimes, a cyclone of emotions and pain, held together by frozen flesh and string. 

So that just about wraps up these chapters. IV-VI really is the most intense part of this work, and writing it is is just as intense as the chapters themselves. 

Songs:

The music is mostly what I’ve been listening to while editing this post, since I already wrote these chapters, but they’re still jams

Your Love (Deja Vu) - Glass Animals

In the Heat of the Moment - Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds

Blood In the Cut - Seattle Sessions - K.Flay

Peach Scone - Hobo Johnson

That’s all for now! Part III will contain the falling action/the part where it gets Real.

Tell me if you’d like to be added to the tag list! :)

[tonystarkreactor]

Falling on Deaf Ears

Inspired by this post by @reioka (because jesus it resonated hard), but it’s a bit different. Hope you like it!

Summary: It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.

So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.

(Or five times Tony's ignored by his teammates, and one time someone finally listens.)

Link for AO3

I.

It wasn’t like Tony wasn’t used to it. He had years and years of experience in being ignored. Hell, he’d grown up with Howard and Maria Stark as his parents. He couldn’t even begin to count the number of times his six-year-old self had been dismissed from Howard’s presence, even when he’d been bouncing up and down with obvious excitement. And Maria-- well, Maria was always so busy. She’d give an absent ‘mm-hm’ every once in a while, but even those were rare compared to the complete apathy he usually got.

So this. He was used to this. And hey, at least he wasn’t getting hit this time around.

“--but it can’t be Kevlar because while it’s strong, it’s not light enough, and isn’t nearly as flexible as human skin, so then I was curious and I started researching, and then I thought it could be nano cellulose, because it’s completely organic and way more flexible, but actually, it’s so organic it would react with the water in his body and it would get all bloated, and considering John Smith did not, in fact, blow up into a balloon, it couldn’t have been that. So then, I kept researching, and--”

Tony faltered as Clint glanced away, distractedly looking at the TV. Tony tried to smile, before halfheartedly continuing, “--And-- and it actually could be graphene, because it’s only made up of locked carbon crystals and is almost totally nonreactive, and it’s so light you could--”

And now Clint isn’t even looking at him at all, not even trying to make it seem like he’s paying attention.

“You-- you could actually have a layer as big as a football field, and it would still way less than...”

He isn’t listening.

“... a gram,” Tony mumbled, his hands shaking around his mug of coffee. He shut his eyes and set it down, shaking his head.

It didn’t matter. Really, it didn’t.

Tony refused to let out a breath as he silently stood up and disappeared from the room.

II.

God knew Tony liked to ramble, and despite him trying to stop himself, he constantly caught himself going on for a half hour without even stopping.

“And then this guy-- I don’t even know who the fuck he was-- just came up to me and told me-- he didn’t ask, he told me-- to sign his middle finger. I don’t know why, like was he gonna get it tattooed or something? That’s still not as weird, though, as the time when a guy…”

He didn’t even know when he’d started, but when he looked up, no one was even in the room. He looked towards the couch Steve had basically taken over the last few months. (He liked to draw in here. And watch Tony work. Not listen, though, apparently.) There was an abandoned, half-finished sketch on the coffee table.. Tony had no idea when he’d left.

Tony closed his mouth, setting down the Allen wrench he’d been fiddling with. He remembered, back in college, hanging out with Ty.

“Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?”

Tony clenched his jaw before picking up the wrench and going back to work.

III.

The power had gone out all across the city, including the coffee shop he and Nat liked to disappear to sometimes in the middle of the night for coffees that were more sugar than coffee. When Tony pulled out his phone to find the cause of the power outage, his findings made it easy for him to pass the time with some chatting. Or rather, ranting.

“God, this is ridiculous. God fucking dammit, Justin Hammer can suck my-- you know what, no, he can’t, because I deserve better than that. Justin Hammer can suck a duck’s dick-- except no, even a rabid corkscrew-dicked duck deserves better than that. Wait, can ducks even get rabies? Justin Hammer can get rabies. Fuck, Hammer probably does have rabies, that’d explain his complete idiocy, not to mention how much he spits when he talks, Jesus Christ, and just how the hell does he manage to make a virus that causes power to go out all across Manhattan? How did that man ever finish the seventh gra--”

“Shit.”

Tony looked up from the floor, only to see Natasha’s face illuminated by her phone. She was-- she was playing a game, something that revolved around colors. Something that was completely absorbing her attention.

Attention that was not, as he thought, on him..

“Uh, Nat?” he said, his coffee suddenly feeling cold.

“Hm?” she hummed, tapping her thumb against the screen furiously. She didn’t bother to look up.

“Uh. Were you listening?” he asked, his voice sounding stupidly hopeful.

“Justin Hammer, idiot, something about duck dicks, I got it,” she said, before huffing as she lost again. “Dammit.”

Tony nodded, his voice sounding small and subdued. “Right.”

IV.

“And-- oh! Oh, you probably haven’t gone to Coney Island yet, have you? It’s fun, as long as, y’know, you don’t do the hot dog eating contest right before you ride the Cyclone. But the Wonder Wheel’s always fun. I mean, I was terrified of it when I was little, but that’s because I was scared of heights. It wasn’t like it was unfounded, though, I mean, I did fall off the roof of the mansion once. Not like. All the way to the ground. Just to one of the lower dormers. I don’t remember what I was doing. I think I was looking at the stars. Or maybe I was trying to launch a rocket. Actually, I think I might have been trying to set off a weather balloon.

“Whatever, point is, my fear wasn’t unjustified. I’m not afraid anymore, though. Of heights, that is. I’m afraid of loads of other stuff, like clowns? Dolls? All that nonsense? Yeah, no. Never. I will never allow those in my presence. At least I’m not scared of chickens. Rhodey is. They freak him out. I don’t know. Personally, I think it stems from a project involving an egg he had to do in his high school home ec class, but I’m no professional.

“What was I saying? Oh, yeah, you’d love Coney Island. You could totally invite Jane up for a weekend, it’s a prime date loca… tion.”

Thor wasn’t even standing next to him anymore. He was at a churro stand twenty feet back, smiling cheerfully at the vendor as he bought a few.

Tony closed his mouth before silently walking back to join the thunder god.

When Thor completed his purchase, he took a bite of his fried pastry. He turned to Tony, smiling widely. “Anthony! These cinnamon treats are delightful!”

Tony forced a grin. “Uh-huh.”

V.

Sometimes he wasn’t even chattering nonsense. Sometimes, it was important.

“Plus, something about just getting it off my chest, and putting it out there in the atmosphere, instead of holding this in… I mean, this is what gets people sick, you know. Wow, I had no idea you were such a good listener. To be able to share all my intimate thoughts and my experiences with someone, it just cut the weight of it in half. You know, it’s like a snake swallowing its own tail. Everything comes full circle...”

There was a thud, and Tony faltered. “And-- and the fact that you’ve been able to help me process…” He looked over, and Bruce was rubbing his eyes. He-- he just-- oh. He’d been sleeping.

“You with me?” Tony said, after a moment of hesitation, hoping he’d been wrong.

“Sorry, I was, yeah. We were at, um…”

Tony resisted a sigh. “Are you actively napping?” he said, not bothering to hide his offense.

Bruce stammered. “I was… I… I drifted.”

Tony bit his lip so he wouldn’t do something stupid like scream. “Where did I lose you?”

Bruce hesitated for a second, at least having the decency to look guilty, before he said, “Elevator in Switzerland.”

Oh. Oh. Okay. “So you heard none of it.”

Bruce shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He reached towards Tony, but the genius shifted away ever so slightly. “I’m not that kind of doctor. I’m not a therapist; it’s not my training--”

Tony’s frustration bubbled over. “So?” That’s not why he called Bruce, he was just-- his doctor told him he needed to talk to people, and he thought maybe his friend would listen, but no-- no, of course not.

“I don’t have the…”

“What, the time?” Tony finished, staring at his friend, trying not to show the way his brain was shutting down.

“Temperament.”

Tony nodded, before beginning to ramble about something meaningless so he wouldn’t say something he’d regret.

Because this had been important. It had been.

It had, hadn’t it?

1.

“--and God, he’s hopeless. He tries his best and all, but Jesus, he’s a disaster. Half the coffee I’ve ingested over the last twenty years has contained some kind of grease or oil. He has his own cone of shame that has his name on it. Honestly, he’s ridiculous. One time, though, I found him with a flower crown on his head, and I honestly have no idea how he got it. Where could Dum-E have gotten a flower crown? I think he and JARVIS were messing with me. God, those two could team up and do some ridiculous--”

Jesus Christ, Tony, do you ever shut up?

Tony cut himself off, barely glancing towards his companions before dropping his gaze to his hands, his hands fiddling with a thread on his jeans.

They didn’t care, stop fucking rambling for once in your damn life, just--

“Stark?”

Tony startled, looking up at Gamora, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, looking at him with raised eyebrows. Expectantly.

Wait. Everyone was looking at him expectantly. Drax had turned away from looking out the window to look at him, Groot was swinging from the ceiling patiently, Rocket was looking up from the gutted gun in front of him, and Peter was sitting across from him with a grin on his face. His beloved Walkman (which used to make Tony cringe, but had since gained his own adoration as soon as he learned of the sentiment attached to it) was even paused.

“Huh?” he said, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“You were saying?” she said, tilting her head forward.

Tony blinked. “What?”

“You were telling us of your children,” Drax said. “JARVIS and the dumb one liked to team up and prank you.”

“Well--” Tony stumbled, his eyes flickering between each of them before looking at his hands again. ‘--yeah, but you guys don’t want to hear about all that.”

“What the hell makes you think that?” Rocket snapped, making Tony startle and look up. “We were all listening!”

“I am Groot!” Groot added, kicking his little legs and nodding enthusiastically.

Tony blinked, before he glanced around at them. “I-- no, it’s fine. Seriously. I get carried away sometimes. I didn’t realize I’d been talking so much, it’s fine. You guys can just-- you can just get back to what you were doing.”

Across from him, Peter frowned. Tony caught the look he gave around the room, but he didn’t get what it meant until everyone was quietly making their way out, going to different parts of the ship. Rocket grumbled and Groot sighed in defeat, but besides that, there were no protests.

Once they were alone, Peter walked around the table separating them and sat next to Tony, taking the genius’s hands in his.

“What was that, Tony?” he asked, and Tony winced when he heard the quiet hint of sadness in his voice.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to prattle on and on. Just tell me to shut up whenever, okay?” he muttered, rubbing his forehead.

Peter huffed out an exasperated yet soft, “Aw, stardust,” before he gently pulled Tony from his own seat and into his lap. “You know I will never tell you to shut up, because I love hearing you talk. Your brain is awesome and your mouth is awesome, and I love everything that comes out of both.”

Tony huffed, ducking his head and hiding his face in Peter’s neck. “Peter…” he said, a hint of exasperation in his voice.

“I’m serious,” Peter argued, pressing a kiss to Tony’s head. “You could literally talk about nothing at all for days on end, and I would never get tired.”

“That’s stupid,” Tony mumbled, his lips tickling Peter’s skin.

“Maybe, but it’s nowhere near as stupid as you thinking I don’t like it when you talk.” He ducked his chin so he could gently push Tony’s head up, and he gave him a raised eyebrow. “Would you like to tell me where exactly this worry came from?”

Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. “Pete…” he whined.

“Because if it was the Avengers--” He chuckled bitterly. “I’ve got another thing to add onto my list of stuff to shoot them about.”

“You mean talk to them about,” Tony corrected, raising his eyebrows.

Peter rolled his eyes. “Yeah, okay,” he said sarcastically. “If talk is a euphemism for shoot.”

“Peter.”

“Nuh-uh. If those assholes seriously made you think that people don’t care about what you’re saying, then they deserve to be shot. Everyone else agrees.”

“That’s because everyone else is gun-happy.”

“When it comes to the Avengers? Hell, yeah, we are.”

Tony rolled his eyes before dropping his head down again, allowing Peter to pepper his hair with kisses.

“Seriously, though,” Peter said. “I love it when you talk. I swear I do. Especially when you’re excited. You’re freakin’ gorgeous like that.”

“Peter,” Tony whined, even as Peter lifted his chin so he could kiss his neck.

“You are,” Peter sang, kissing up his neck and along his jaw. “You’re gorgeous, and smart, and funny, and gorgeous--”

“You said that already.”

“Stardust, you’re so gorgeous, it counts three times,” Peter mumbled into his cheek, before finally pulling away and smiling at him. “Maybe four. Maybe five.”

Tony rolled his eyes, smacking Peter’s shoulder. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Not as ridiculous as your eyes. Seriously, I could drown in those.” Ignoring Tony’s groan, he continued, “Really! There’s so pretty. I could literally stare at them all day. Like, your eyes, your lips, and your voice. That’s all I need for the rest of my life. I don’t ever need anything else. Not even food.”

Tony rolled his eyes, resting his head on Peter’s shoulder. “You’re so dumb,” he muttered fondly.

“I dunno, I must’ve done something right if I got you,” Peter said.

Tony lifted his head, giving Peter an unimpressed look.

Peter grinned, tightening his hold around Tony’s waist. “So, do you wanna keep telling me about your AIs’ and bots’ shenanigans?”

“I could,” Tony said, smiling dopily as he tipped his head forward to rest his forehead against Peter’s. “But I’d kind of rather be kissing you.”

Peter grinned. “See, I told you your mouth is awesome.”