#Ive never done image ids before so yell at me if they are bad

[shekorla]

Buir bal ad'ika, Aliit ori'shya tal'din

Buir bal ad'ika, Aliit ori'shya tal'din- Father and child (little one), Family is more than blood.

For chalk art last year my team and I did stained glass styled peice based on The Mandalorian. @chronicallyawkwardandshameless tagging you both because you helped make this and I need you to spell check the title.

Progress shots below the cut

[hi-there-cake]

1. are you named after anyone: nope!!! well. ok so the name im choosing for like. gender purposes Is named after someone (that one texpost of trans people naming yourself after characters. youll never guess who it is) but my birth name wasnt! my mom just wanted a kickass name apparently if i ever became the CEO of something. man by that logic they couldve named me so many horrible horrible things i think i got lucky

2. when was the last time you cried?: last. llast thursday!! :,3

3. do you have kids?: no for. slightly obvious reasons (minor and aroace)! sometimes i think abt being a teacher but i think if i did that id actually implode and my insurance wouldnt cover me

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?: uuuhhh depends!! not usually but irl my dad called me the king of it so. mayhaps :]

5. what sports do you play/have played?: ive played soccer with my dad and i did like. school mandatory sports before and the only time i willingly did sports was in like. 4th grade where i did karate when i Actually wanted to do gymnastics because i did it when i was like. a baby and i remembered it being very fun. however since them i havent touched a sport,,,,,,,,,,,, trolls movie image here dot png

6. what’s the first thing you notice about other people?: OUGH UH! hhm probably their voice or whatever is on their person at the moment! if its online its just interests and disinterests. i dont. llook at faces a lot </3

7. eye color?: hazel green amalgamation of whatever made the devil cry. it looks grey from afar but it isnt + it gets more colored as i grow

8. scary movies or happy endings?: i like happy endings just in general (IF THEYRE WELL DONE..,,,,, i think. maybe you could like shake a bag of happy endings like shaking a bag of cat food for a cat) but i think i could watch scary movies! the bad part of this though is that im a scardey cat and i will have to like. leave my lights on at night if i do watch them. though the plus side is that Most things arent scaring me anymore! but that may be because most of them are games

9. any special talents?: i asked my dad and he said no! i can. reach my leg pretty far id say but yeah no dice

10. where were you born?: IN THE PRIDE AND PROUD COUNTRY OF AMERICA BABY YYYEEEEEHAWWW (nerf gunsjots, looneytunes cat yell, a heavily distorted version of the american flag playing as the sfx of a campfire burning plays in the bg)

11. what are your hobbies?: drawing, i would say writing but so far ive. bever actually published anything especially fanfiction. i tried and i failed!! mayhaps light analysis, and watching analysis videos in general! im. i cant say comics (yet,,,, soon,, SOON!!!) but i can technically say worldbuilding. no i have not published anythign. no i have not told anyone what i have planned. i totally and completely knowbwgat im doing and Not going insane just like the guy in junji itos hole 👍💯🔥🔥🔥

12. do you have any pets?: two cats!!!!!!! one meows and is tiny while the other is a behemoth orange dumb cat. i love them both equally

13. so. sooomewhere around 5 feet,,,.,.,.. im. im the smallest one in my friend group

14. favorite subject in school?: social studies back in 6th grade and art back in also 6th grade! simce then however no subject has truly captured me besides Maybe english and biology! actually no my english teacher was so cool so id say english :]

15. dream job?: something fun,,, i.

^ that. maybe a game designer (ive been thinking of game and story ideas), an artist of Some kind, an. annnimator??, comic artist, and maybe a gamer/streamer (a friend assignmed me that) but also theres a strong possibility id get Crushed like an ant in that kinda job. i do like me some games though i! guess i just dont know at rhe moment yknow? god i might get a retail job head in hands

OK THATS IT!!! did not expect to get tagged! hm. @m3wllo @cuntunism @fabledgalaxies @blockmenonthemind @warioimgonnawin @autocorrection

oh heck yeah tag game I will do it

tagged by @pokette :] for 15 questions for 15 mutuals

are you named after anyone? Technically no. However after I was born my mom learned that my great-grandmother's birth name was my name so...uhhh

when was the last time you cried? HAHA. HA. Last week.

do you have kids? No and I don't really want them despite liking kids

do you use sarcasm a lot? occasionally, though not as much as my personality would suggest

what sports do you play/have played? I don't think I've ever officially been in The Sports in any capacity except maybe badminton for like, two weeks

what's the first thing you notice about other people? How talkative they are

eye colour? Hazel ish

scary movies or happy endings? I am a happy endings freak if that makes any sense. Love that stuff. I don't mind the occasional scary movie though

any special talents? I can lick my elbow

where were you born? in an english speaking countryyy

what are your hobbies? Drawing obsessively and writing just as obsessively (mostly roleplaying)

do you have any pets? The apartment I live in does not allow them, but my parents keep calling their cat mine

how tall are you? I'm under 6' and I wish I was 6' yeah I KNOW tall people live shorter lives statistically but

favourite subject in school? English and Biology bay-beeee Biology was the only science I was any good at but I'm decent at math idk why it's probably my inability to think critically

dream job? I get bored of everything. what's the creator of earthbound shigesato itoi doing? I wanna do that but I'm not sure if i'm charming enough to pull it off

tagging um. @uncannychelle @smilesrobotlover @foooxobsessedperson @goopi-e @philipszelda @hi-there-cake @jackalopedoodles @jekyllhydetrash

no pressure ofc!

[avpdpunpun]

i disappeared for 3/4ths a year here’s an update?

its been 4 months since my queue ran out and way longer since i wrote an actual post. 8 months about? i think i last posted when i impulse quit a job that was bad for my mental health and just kept getting worse.

sometimes i wonder when ppl who blog about mental illness disappear if they’ve died. there was a big user i used to follow who did, and i still occasionally think about it sometimes, so i figure its nice to post updates sometimes. and being able to look back on posts ive written and reflect on them/what state of mind i was in can be helpful even if it can be embarrassing/dangerous because its so easy to fall back into those thinking habits 

after quitting my job i did basically nothing for 6 months haha. at some point i managed to clean out my room which i had done the bare minimum on for years because of depression, took out more built up trash than i thought was possible to fit into my small space. its disgusting but the only thing i struggle to keep up with now at least is vacuuming and putting clothes away so my space is a lot cleaner and it makes me happier. your living space can really have an effect on your mood bless you marie kondo

after my post about having an anxiety attack taking my test i got my drivers license in march. i saw the same lady again after going somewhere else and i think she just let me pass because she felt bad haha. i never finished drivers ed and i still get anxiety about driving unfamiliar routes but my skills and confidence have improved a lot. i managed to drive 2 hours to a big city to visit a friend! i literally didnt have a choice in getting my license, but its still something i can be proud of. like, when i have to explain it to people, it feels extremely shitty that i didnt get it until i was 20, and only about 5 months ago too but... for someone who struggles as much as me, i have to be proud of it my small accomplishments or i���ll have nothing.

at some point something in my brain just snapped and i literally havent been able to cry? for a long time in those 6 months i felt like i was right on the edge of breaking down mentally but never actually crossing that line and it was honestly one of the weirdest things ive experienced. i almost wanted to have a breakdown again just to get rid of the feeling and reach a catharsis like... i used to be a fucking crybaby almost but i. cant. anymore. but i think ive mostly moved away from this point... still feel kinda weird tho.

i didnt end up signing up to a local school fo gen eds. its still on my mind for the vague future because there’s topics i want to learn about (psychology, natural resources, languages...) and maybe try to pursue for a career but really i just wanted a way to get out of my toxic house, even if it meant going into debt to live in a shitty dorm. 

in the last 30 days though life has been moving extremely quickly for me. i dont think i couldve lived with myself much longer being a useless adult basically living in my basement bedroom of my parents house, especially with my younger siblings getting nearer to adult milestones, plus my savings were starting to run out.

so literally next weekend, i’m moving out! and i make enough money right now that with the rough budget i have established, if its accurate, i’ll have a decent amount of wiggle room and hopefully wont be ruining my mental health just trying to make ends meet.

it took a long time of searching but i managed to find a job that hasnt made me suicidal and has slightly more than the MIT living wage for my area lol. im a janitor now! we’ll see how long it lasts but a lot of the factors from my last two jobs that contributed to my failing mental health are gone. i rarely have to interact with other people, and if i do its my coworkers, of who i tend to only see for minutes per day, or the other people working in the building i clean who at most i have to say hi and have a nice night to lol. i get to listen to music and podcasts for 8 hours and its very routine heavy. i have to clock out after the 8 hours is up so i literally cant be forced into overtime. a lot of people dont respect cleaning jobs like this but honestly who gives a fuck, its something i can handle mentally and support myself with. its still hard adjusting to 40 hours. i know its the standard, but the standard is rly tough for me, but i think i can do it long term.

all of this has been achieved through sheer self hatred and impulse alone, and im very nervous about moving in with 3 other people even if 1 of them ive known for 8 years, and i dont think its even properly hit me yet. literally cant register that i have to fend 100% for myself but also ill be away from my toxic family! i can bring my cat with me, who before this i got to see at MOST once a week!

a dude ive known online for two or more years is moving to my area too for college and he’s so sweet and kind, i feel better talking to him than i have 99% of people in my life and im so lucky to know him. ive been forced to talk about personal things i was kind of dreading (not his fault, just a result of our relationship going to go from online -> irl and things id have to address beforehand) and honestly i didnt even mind it that much when i just got it over with and talked about it to him! vulnerability is literally the thing i struggle with the most in interpersonal relationships and is a huge block for me in every way and in even the most mundane life situations but like... he’s honestly the best and im getting emotional writing this and its weird af because i straight up dont GET emotional about other people. ive absolutely developed a stupid fucking crush on him recently and i THINK hes been receptive to flirting and i cant tell if he flirts back because we already say i love you and are wholesome af but honestly no clue if he’s into (trans) dudes but honestly? even if it doesnt work out im so happy to be friends with him and im so excited to finally meet him!! i really think knowing him has helped me improve myself 

i’ve always thought that if i could literally just achieve the bare minimum in life that things would naturally get better. like i’m still mentally ill and get paranoid about peoples intentions and i think if my boss yelled at me id have an anxiety attack on the spot. im still depressed and hate that i have low energy and that it’s still rly hard doing basic chores. 

but like a huge part of my problem was that i felt like i literally couldn’t TRY to connect with people if i couldn’t face having to tell them bare info about myself, like “oh i cant drive” or “i dont have a job” or that i was living with my parents but not even making PROGRESS on getting out. like how could i make friends or go on dates if i literally couldnt contribute shit or admit these things i was so ashamed of? a lot of my self image was shaped by this because my entire life i havent been mentally well enough to do as well as i should have.

but like. i feel like im finally doing these basic things!! i dont have to hate myself so much anymore! i dont look badly on other mentally ill ppl who are less lucky than i/havent been able to do those things yet/might not ever and are still in the same situation i was 2 months ago but the self hatred is strong pls understand.

i dont know yet if i could afford twice yearly drs visits for meds or anything and probably not therapy. i dont even know what my insurance is yet haha. but i’ll see

i need to figure out at what point in my life im going to be able to never contact a single person in my family ever again, considering i’ll be a 20 min drive away and they will know the precise location of where i live, and if i’ll ever feel safe enough in society to start hrt but :^) you know :^) i can at least present more masculinely in the meantime!

i dont rly know how to conclude this... i’m not trying to brag either im just very nervous and excited about where my life might be going for the first time ever? maybe? in my entire life? i have no clue what to pursue after moving out, but i can figure it out. and just... that there’s hope even if youre as fucked up and mentally ill as i am lmao!

[weartirondad]

And You Would Smile (And That Would Be Enough) 5/6

5 times Tony helps pull Peter away from an anxiety built cliff and the 1 time Peter is on his own. (part i, part ii part iii, part iv, part vi)

FF.net I ao3

Peter’s vision was swimming.

He blinked once, twice, three times before the world shifted again and came back into focus.

The teenager was standing in a dark corridor with coppery walls. Or where was the taste in his mouth coming from? His left hand reached out to touch his mouth only to find his skin hitting the cool fabric of his Spider-Man suit. He must be wearing the mask, he realized, and let his hands drop to his side at his find.

If he was in the suit then he must be on a mission. There must be something more important going on than finding out where the coppery taste was coming from.

Peter narrowed his eyes, frantically beating heart settling when his suit complied with the movement. There was always a scarcely audible whirring to be heard when the suit’s eyes moved. It was familiar. Calming. His suit was working so he had to be relatively safe. He was Spider-Man after all and he had a suit with the latest Stark technology.

Some of the fear that had taken up residence in his stomach left his body with his next exhale.

“Hello?” he called out and flinched when his voice echoed through the empty hallway, bouncing off the walls until eventually fading into silence once more. “Someone home?”

His feet started moving, hesitantly at first and then more decisively when nothing bad seemed to happen. The sound of his footsteps lingered in the air, making a weirdly uncomfortable melody that trailed behind him and raced him to go faster, to reach the end of the hall.

Peter knew that he had to reach the end of the hall. There was a soft blue light coming from the door this corridor led to and that light felt important. It was his mission to reach the light that was pulsating at a steady frequency. Somehow, he felt that the light needed his protection.

He had almost reached the door with the light when his enhanced hearing picked up on a painful huff. With the scream the light pulses became more erratic, too, urging him on. The sound sent chills through his entire body and, when his brain registered just why the voice sounded so familiar, it ripped straight through his heart, leaving him feeling raw and helpless.

“Tony?” he called, his wobbly voice echoing from the walls, mocking him in tiny whispers from a million different directions. He strained his ears to pick up on a reply but there was nothing.

He had almost convinced himself that his senses were playing a trick on him when the sound came back, a lot closer and sounding a lot more in pain. The light stuttered slightly before returning to a steady but faster pace.

Without a second thought he ran the last distance until his hand was on the door knob, his last obstacle before reaching the blue light and his mentor. He thrusted the door open with all his might, not caring when the wood splintered and the force took it off its hinges.

There, separated from him through a glass pane, sat Tony. The light of the arc reactor in his chest filling the room with an absurd calm considering how weakly it fluttered just then.

For an unbearable second Peter was afraid it would fade completely.

But Tony was still breathing, although the rales that he picked up on through the pane didn’t sound very encouraging. He ran forward, willing the blue light to keep pulsating and his mentor to look up.

“Tony!” he screamed, fists hitting the glass pane over and over again, yet it wouldn’t budge. Not even a crack in the smooth surface. The refraction of light through the glass looked mockingly beautiful. As if it was any condolence for Peter as long as Tony was still barely breathing. As long as he still looked mostly dead.

“Please, Tony! Look at me,” he cried again, not caring about the tears that slipped out and ran down his cheeks. His hands were busy trying to make it through to his mentor.

Please don’t be dead. Please don’t be dead. Please –

A shudder went through the billionaire’s entire body then and there was nothing he could do but pray for the light to keep glowing and – oh god, his limbs were flailing uncontrollably and his head kept hitting the hard cot until the spasm died done.

Peter screamed. Tony looked up. Their eyes met.

“Tony!” he tried again to get through to the pane, not knowing how much the older man could pick up. His eyes widened and at first Peter was so sure it was in recognition but then he tried to scramble away from him in fear, rattling at the metallic cuffs constraining him to the cot and Peter had to watch in horror when he struggled enough to turn the cot on its side. Tony fell but he didn’t seem to care, fearful eyes still looking up at Peter.

“No! I- It’s me, Tony!” he cried out, pulling off the mask in a swift motion but before his mentor could see his face, his attention was otherwise occupied

Captain America had entered the room, lips curling up in a humorless snarl that made a shiver run down Peter’s spine. He looked positively evil when he turned to look at Peter for the fraction of a second before squatting down next Tony to all but throw the cot back up again.

Tony’s fear was replaced by anger. His eyes were flashing with unadulterated rage in a way Peter had never ever seen and his fists were curling at his sides, struggling to fight free once more.

“I trusted you,” he spit out but Captain America only laughed when Tony coughed up blood and gunk.

Before Captain America could get a word out, Peter was yelling again, doubling the forces of his punches against the glass until – finally – a crack.

“Don’t hurt him,” he kept screaming, “Don’t you fucking touch him. Don’t- Tony!”

Without batting an eye Cap slammed down his shield onto the weakly fluttering light and Peter, still on the other side of the pane, could do nothing but watch and scream and riot when it flickered before going black.

The American superhero was towering over the lifeless form of the man that had become his family and, without so much as looking at Peter, he turned and left Tony behind.

Peter was frozen.

Then he crumbled.

“No!” He cried out over and over again, to no avail. “No, Tony! Tony! Don’t! Noo-“

Suddenly there was a strong grip on his shoulders but he was too far gone. He didn’t want anyone to comfort him. He wanted Tony to be alive. He wanted-

With all his might he struggled against the other person’s hands until he heard a curse.

“Dammit, kid.”

“Tony.”

“Right here, buddy. Go on, open your eyes. Admire the shiner you gave your old man.”

The teenager came back to himself slowly, blinking warily against the bright lights until he could get his eyes to focus on the person in front of him. The air left his lungs in a painful gasp. “Tony.” Before he could grab at the man, he was already sitting down beside him, inviting Peter to curl around his upper body. Which he did without hesitation.

He was still shaking and the image – it had seemed so real, so final.

Tony held him while he cried, his heartbeat steady and not connected to any sort of blueish light. It still had time. So much time.

Tony was really here. He could feel the calloused fingers against the soft skin of his neck and smell the motor oil and his cologne. He could hear his even breathing and the very real taste of his salty tears. And when he blinked, Tony was looking at him with the softest expression he had ever seen, only marred by the deep lines of worry on his face.

“Better?” he asked after a moment and Peter nodded but didn’t make a move to uncurl from the billionaire.

“You wanna talk about it?” The voice didn’t really leave room for him to actually deny. Postpone maybe but not completely deny.

He shrugged instead and settled his cheek more firmly against his mentor’s chest, letting his eyes drop close to the feeling of being secure and both of them being away from harm.

“Saw Cap hurt you,” he mumbled into the soft fabric of Tony’s t-shirt, half hoping the man hadn’t heard him, half hoping for reassurance that the guy clad in the American flag hadn’t really done any harm.

“Oh buddy, you’re having nightmares about that now?” Tony’s voice was soft but sad as his fingers skillfully rubbed the nape of his neck, “I told you it’s going to be fine. I thought me allowing you to tag along would help you relax a little. Maybe it was a bad ide-“

“No,” Peter interrupted him, arms coming up to hold onto his mentor back more tightly, “No, it’s not a bad idea, I promise.”

“Okay,” Tony said reluctantly but didn’t further comment on it, opting to distract him from the lingering horror of his nightmare instead. “You wanna go in there as New York’s favorite vigilante in spandex or like a normal human being?”

Despite himself Peter cracked a smile. It faded the second he remembered the fear in Tony’s eyes in his nightmare. He shuddered. “N-not in the suit,” he said quietly, “If that’s okay?”

The older man paused the massage on his scalp, clearly trying to figure out what was wrong with the suit, but eventually shrugged and resumed what he was doing. “Sure thing, kiddo. I’ll introduce you as my genius intern who’s freaking out about meeting the Avengers for the first time. We might be able to score you an autograph.”

“You suck.” Peter slapped Tony’s chest lightly, his words holding no force. “I’d like going in as Peter Parker,” he yawned, making himself more comfortable in Tony’s hold. He smiled when the other man adjusted his position, clearly not intending to leave Peter alone for now.

“Sleep, kid. Tomorrow’s gonna be a big day for both of us.”

---

I'm sorry! Peter was supposed to meet the rest of the Avengers in this chapter but I couldn't physically bring myself to write the words. I tried like three times but it just wouldn't work. I'm really sorry because I know people were looking forward to that but I would've messed it up and I kind of actually liked the dream sequence so I'm leaving you with this. x

[oakmd]

Congratulations ! You received 1,000+ followers !

Continue? ▶YES ▷NO

 Well, I can’t really express anything but amazement at such an accomplishment, and to be honest I’m pretty blown away that so many of you have stuck with me since the beginning of this blog, and that so many of you enjoy Professor Oak enough to stay. I’ll forever stand by the fact that this blog was the best 'joke’ I ever made, and probably one of the most fulfilling things I’ve actively kept at. 

As much as I hope this blog has helped you find comfort and laughter, RPing Professor Oak has definitely changed me for the better, as well. It has given me an outlet to heal parts of myself and provide help to others, and also pushed me to practice positivity even when I know I get so low sometimes that I don’t even want to try. Another bonus is that I have met wonderful people here, most of you just strictly friends on the dash, but I’ve also gained relationships with people that have extended into discord and I’m sure it has made all the difference this past year and a half. 

As usual, I’m not really a fan of long-winded gushes of emotion, so I’ll keep it short, but I would really like to have it be known that my love for Professor Oak has grown tremendously, in ways I would have never reached without taking the time to thoughtfully craft his backstory and work to develop him further. I know he’s a very nostalgic character that so many of us know and respect that I’m always very careful of how I choose to build on the image without ruining what’s already there.  Out of all my many muses here, this one has seemingly ( and surprisingly ) all at once snuck its way as my primary blog; the blog I always look forward to logging into the most, where I enjoy following your activity whether it be IC or OOC, and just generally enjoy being in the presence of people so passionate about a fandom associated with my childhood. I love this little corner of a community that has welcomed me and engaged with me and unknowingly kept me going, and to look back at my experience and see that I’ve had no trouble at all makes me feel really lucky.

There will never be a way to fully and accurately express my thanks, but I will say it anyway: thank you so much, and I hope that no matter where you go, and no matter what you do, you are trying to be your best, and that you’re happy. Professor Oak will always be there to congratulate you when you reach your dreams.

IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER ( because my mind is so scattered - ) special shout outs to special people: 

@timecapscle - wasn’t it you that said i’d one day get 1,000 followers? : ) you���ve literally supported me since the beginning and i just wanna say that i appreciate your enthusiasm for professor oak as much as i appreciate your enthusiasm for bill. its wonderful to see someone represent an otherwise under represented character and you do it well. i care for you so much, and wish nothing but good things for your future even if you want to do bad things in the name of science

@diligentseeker / @evolutionexpert  - someone i consider a cherished friend, despite how sporadic our interaction seems, i appreciate all our random long talks on discord, and i’ll never forget our very first conversation. it meant a lot to me, and i want to thank you. i dont meet a lot of ppl that i feel ‘get’ me on some unspoken level, so when it happens, its a nice surprise. anyway i won’t ramble because i take it you’re not one for praise, but im glad people like you exist. with that being said please stop making professor elm stress me out.

@undinaes - the moment you’ve been waiting for. SIKE! just kidding; its no surprise that you’re always filling my dash with testimonials from people that see you for what you are. you’re a beam of sunshine with all the qualities to match; warm, bright, and a natural source of energy that brings people together. your passion for writing is astounding and even when ppl dont deserve your kindness, you’re unbiased in giving it out. truly a mom through and through. but most importantly, ur my girlie and im glad we met :v

@ofpalletown - in my mind, you are practically ash, and ill be here to support you even during all your moments of Extra™ ... but aside from that you’re very loyal to your friends and full of something sunny that i can’t describe. ur gonna be okay, kid. so pls stop stressing out ur dear prof oak 

@03redd - i probably mentioned not long ago that your blog is really good, but ill say it again in case you weren’t listening. i love your blog? its very fun to follow, and i think you’re one of my favorite reds. even with me not being game verse, its so easy to just immerse myself in whatever nonsense you have red drag professor oak into. i dig your creative energy. 

@normaliium - and ofc i cant leave out my cousin. the one to be admired, the ever-successful, brilliant human being that loves me even when i take off ten years of your life each night. my life would lack such substance without you, and i will never forget all you’ve done to help me when i would otherwise be left to myself. you make me really proud to know you, you really do, and everyone i ever talk to you about can attest to that. #YOLO

@bossgiovanni - you haven’t been active in forever, but you remain one of my friends and that’s all that matters. from skype to discord, im glad we could stick together even with our blatant differences in opinion. you are always so nice to me and say the kindest things, and i just wanna say thanks. hope youve been doing well! you are capable of so much, and i believe in you, so don’t forget that. 

@agentmansley - can i jsut say thank you for staying true to your muse and throwing even the purest of characters into your mess? i have loved your blog long before i made professor oak, and you’re seriously one of the funnest people i’ve rp’d with here. everything i’ve written with you is refreshing and new, and never fails to make me laugh. thank you for your love for kent, and also for writing with me. i know you’ve been MIA for a while, but you’re definitely a memorable person. 

@tcssaiga - i dont have a lot of cross-fandom interactions so when they happen im usually pleased. you’ve got great characterization, and have perfect dialogue. i never watched a whole lot of inuyasha but i’ve atched enough to know that you’re pretty close to canon. thanks for the interactions even if you’re mean to prof oak on archer ; (

@askgarymfoak - MY LITTLE ACORN!!!! the dedication you have for gary honestly gives me so much life, and i love rping with you on discord and just yelling about sam / gary hcs. its always a highlight of my day and i can tell you’ve thought about gary and his life long and hard, and its so cool to see someone interested in all that makes him the Headache we all recognize and love. please never stop sharing with me the personal hcs you have for the boy, i always want to hear them. 

@futureheld - we don’t even rp with each other on this muse BUT youre one of my longest tumblr rp friends that i still talk to and you’re really important to me. we have history, we go back!!!! okay? #FRIENDSHIP n all that. but tbh id follow you on any muse because your writing is just great? id write any weird crossover with you because you have a talent for making it work seamlessly anyway. thanks 4 the memories, loser. 

@seviiserver - CELIO!!! we dont talk as much as we used to, or rather, we talk in bursts every now and then but i consider you one of my good friends! not only are u really talented in all things artistic, but i love your writing and it’s always enjoyable to read, even if its not one of our threads together. you made me have so much adoration for celio and like all the other ppl ive met who bring life to underrated / under-rp’d muses, i enjoy seeing everything you pour into him... AND ALSO I LOVE OUR OAK / ROWAN INTERACTIONS? i love them so much it hurts okay. even if its just silliness in discord it brightens my day. anyway perhaps one day we will cross paths in this sleepless city and i will finally teach u how to ride a bike.

@rottenrhythms - i know i dont have much to say or comment with whenever you message me on discord, but i admire how much detail you put into your characters and meta. im always impressed with all the work and thought you put into your world-building; i wish i had that much drive. also, you’ve made a lot of improvement with yourself from the time i first started talking to you on skype. be proud of your progress, and keep working at it, it’s worth it in the long run!

@lack--two NATE youre definitely a very sweet person, and perhaps a little more devious ooc than i’d imagined you would be ( at least to me, why must you poke me for reactions? ; ( u wound me ) but you’re a soothing presence to be around and im glad you were finally able to make discord work. bonus points for letting me yell about yugioh all the time. never stop being wonderful. im here for you whenever you might need a listening ear, okay? 

@loyalpika / @palletbloomer - #PRIKA!!! ever since i first followed you i remembered being blown away by your extensive headcanons on pikachu and i genuinely enjoy every blog you make! we dont talk OOC but from all your ooc posts you seem like a very caring older sister and thats nice to see; with you running around all the time, i hope you do get some rest every now and then! i hope our camaraderie never falters, take care friend! 

@thepkmnnurse - i cant forget all the love and support both you and your muse have for professor oak, and im happy you try to spread positivity on the dash whenever you can! we don’t talk much OOC but from what i can tell you’re just as kind and nurturing as nurse joy herself. i hope you’ve been taking it easy wherever you are, and i hope your days are bright!

@rebelracket - will there ever be a day that i dont enjoy seeing your delinquent muse causing havoc on the dash? your creativity is wonderful to witness and i enjoy clarissa so much, thank you for interacting with a pure ol’ muse like mine. i hope we can continue to keep writing together, im excited at where we might end up. p.s. your art is delightful.

@porttownprince - you’re a gentle presence on my dash but im glad that youre here and that you’ve stuck around despite all the bad things that followed you. i hope you can overcome all the trauma you’ve been through. thank you for being kind with me!

@nikkouki - i know i dont say much but i enjoy your random check ins with me on discord, and i think youre a sweet young girl. you’re gonna go far in life, just make sure you keep going! continue being a precious kiddo and don’t forget to study your japanese ; (

@viciousvainglory & @midoriyamight - i cant think of one without the other so accept this double-tag lol. you’ve both supported this blog since the beginning and i wont forget how welcome you made me feel! no matter what blogs you’re on im glad we can still be friends! you deserve the big toblerone! 

@fateandfury - my long time writing parter without knowing we were long time writing partners! the work you put into professor juniper is something to behold! we haven’t seemed to interact much despite rping professor muses, but that doesn’t mean i don’t appreciate your take on such a muse!

OTHER BLOGS TO BE ADMIRED ( also in no particular oder) : @sterlingsilverchampion @starmarkcd @pxgtails @satanstories @champofpallet @golden-oak @spriggaens @nurturen @florenselite @craniumaniac @ask-guzma @tenderpoison @gocatchem @faemoria @hikaup@writtenbykaichu @executiveariana @honoxtokage @simikami @bigcalavera @rotorotom @thehopcful @and-they-succeeded @metalprincess13 @keep-those-memories-away @hisvanity @attitxde @asmayflies @sesshcmaru @theagentlooker @ambcrly @kantocowboy @dauphindekalos @beareroftheblueorb @blastingxff @aquaelegance @bugeyesboutique @make-it-trouble  @thunderstonereject  @theagentlooker @soultattered @scvedbylove  @diluviumx @inevitabilis-sors @pokedouche @fightiniumz @firespun

I’M SO SORRY IF I MISSED PEOPLE, THIS IS REALLY HARD FOR SOMEONE SO SCATTER-BRAINED AND MEMORY-FOGGED AS ME. EVEN IF YOU’RE NOT INCLUDED AND EVEN IF WE’RE NOT MUTUALS, I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR SUPPORT OF THIS BLOG. WITHOUT ANY OF YOU I WOULDN’T HAVE GOTTEN HERE.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A GIVEAWAY!!!

THANK YOU SO MUCH!

[razzlow]

2, 28, 40!!

2. I legitimately ult hs ek AND cs but if i had to choose itd be changsub

28. I love all of them but Tell Me was so!!!! 🗣🗣🗣

40. This isn’t one per member but i actually compiled lists on my own time bc im a loser. they’re long and embarrassing and unedited so im putting them under a cut ghghg

Eunkwang

His naivety like ????? im crine

When he gets 1 (One) bit of attention and gets super excited

His Actually Heart Shaped mouth????

HIS SHARP CANINES IVE NEVER FOUND TEETH SO CUTE IN MY LIFE

he’s so blatant like he can’t hide anything at all everytime bitubi make him do something on the fly his mouth actually opens and closes as he thinks he’s an open book what a cutie

hes said many times how shy he is and sometimes its really obvious but he still does his best to make everyone else around him feel more comfortable and less self conscious often at the cost of his own image

HE’S GOOD!!!! A GOOD BOY!!!! when he asked his viewers to stop using cancer as an insult!!! he’s angelic???

Minhyuk

When he laughs rly loud and carefree im like TT

Anytime he’s around children FFFFFFF https://twitter.com/btob_ot7/status/839509874383990785 LOOK AT THIS MAN he wants to be a father so bad wtf

the fact that he cries so much and cares so much hes a Good Kid i would lay down my life for him

NVM he pretended to cry on his birthday by using eyedrops i thought it was real this KID he’s such a smartass and i lov him

MASSLES

he tries so hard, ha ha no shame minhyuk, but legit he tries so much its so admirable??? and hes good at so many things too and if he isnt he tries his best to be

shamelessly into himself hes hot and he knows it

btob saying hes the best abt watching their broadcasts ffs literally my first time in an instalive i could see minhyuk sending hearts

king of fanservice but like,, actually because he cares so much for fans UUUUUUUUU https://twitter.com/btob_ot7/status/822158518656598017

king of flaunting himself make-up or no make-up!!! he never covers his face with masks or hats at airports when he’s barefaced and he’s!!!! so cute!!!! but it also sends a good “looks aren’t everything” message i love minhyuk

never 4get “gender, age (as long as it’s not between a minor and an adult), and nationality cannot stop love” WHEN WILL YOUR FAV EVER confirmed good-boy minhyuk the straights cant have him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16I0PGQuED8&feature=youtu.be he works so hard i want to cry

Changsub

When he Exists

When he shows his strong kind side he never brags about it like with the Cool Men thing and with the rollercoaster ride on wgm TT

https://twitter.com/zhala_6/status/835545324328529925

When he fawns over kids, talks to them, carries babies UUUUUUU “Kids are the hope of the future, they’re so cute, how could you not love them” BIH

https://twitter.com/tanyung_/status/835571551290462209 UUUUUU

his smile :’(((

the cute mole under his jaw wtf i love everything abt this boy

HIS ELF EARS :’(((((

his voice is legit my favorite voice ever

https://twitter.com/agnesbtt/status/838381162837999616 “changsub-ssi comforted me …” IM ON THE FLOOR he’s so cute his partner on duet song festi was cute too ffffs why didnt the audience support them enough im cryin

every time btob win an award and he makes That face heRE’S TO 100 MORE OF THAT WHERE IS THEIR DAESANG

Hyunsik

OBVIOUSLY HIS SMILE

his cute hiccupy laugh

The fact that he, a muscle man hypebeast baritone, only ever sings mega high notes (but also blease sing lower more take care of ur voice) his voice is so strong and stable always listen the kpop vocal analysis dude can break thru my window and yell @ me about how he’s not actually stable for as long as he wants i wont back down

The fact that he, a muscle man hypebeast baritone, is also a soft sweater paw boy

HIS THICCASS NECC

AND THIGHS

the fact that he almost entered a body building competition before debuting??? 

his oppa kink LLMAO

imo hyunsik is also super good at watching the other members’ broadcasts i see him so much

HIS SENSE https://twitter.com/B2PMGG_/status/839030988751556609

https://twitter.com/nauimellodi/status/839044646357520386 SIK’S SENSE also “please i really love tigers” ID LAY DOWN MY LIFE FOR U

LISTEN HES A FURRY BUT HIS LOVE OF TIGERS IS SO CUTE “tigers are so beautiful and sexy and cool and cute and funny and-” WHAT IS HE A 5 YEAR OLD

Peniel

When he patiently and kindly deals with the other members uuuuUUUUU

when he helps them with english or plays with them in english and doesnt laugh at them meanly UUUUUUUUUU

his smilllleeeeee UUUUUu

his sweet voice makes me cry :’((( i want more singing lines like in what’s happening or because its christmas :’((((

HE’S TOO GOOD TO FANS his vlogs, how he started answering melodies tweets recently, how he made an english AND korean version of that girl even if he didnt manage to finish the kr ver on time to release it HE MAKES SUCH A HUGE EFFORT TO INCLUDE EVERYONE

He’s so legitimately funny and cute u could hear the staff on amigo tv and on knowing bros falling 4 him (legit who was that staff member on knowing bros that u could actually hear calling peniel cute i lov her)

Ilhoon

When he acts all cool and aloof but in reality is a big loser with 0 swag AND 0 class

the fact that hes a fUCKING TEABOO UUUU HES SO EMBARRASSING BUT HES SO GENUINELY OBSESSED WITH THIS KINGSMAN SHIT AND ITS SO CUTE IM ASHAMED OF MYSELF

his smile;;; id die to protect it

his super loud laugh ILHOONS A FUCKING GREMLIN BUT HES SOFT AND I LOV HIM

his god awful selfie angles like same dude me too

u didnt hear this from me but j*ng *lh**n is c*te and i l*v* h*m

Sungjae

when he has all these solo activities and never forgets to mention btob and never lets it pass when interviewers try to get him to say that he’s better than them or better off without them like UUUUUU

tall as fuck but acts like a gremlin,,, terrible

he’s a genuine Hot Boy™ and im going to fight him for Real

he’s so sweet i;;; in the soribada awards show all of btob but ESPECIALLY sungjae kept hanging out w the MC even after they were done + had changed into casual clothes;;;;; even non-fans acknowledged how they hard carried the behind the scenes segments + kept the lonely MC company in a show where the organizers didn’t even leave him a chair until viewers kept on pestering them abt it bc it was sad;;;; and like;;; that’s so sweet of them i genuinely want to cry;;; i lob sungjae but u didnt hear that from me

[5hineesback]

feel korea fanacc 2017 (exid biased)

this is going to be a very detailed fanacc of the full day, including the bad events which took place before the concert

first off let me say that kpop fans are honestly such lovely people. i came across a few bad eggs during the day but overall everyone was amazing. i arrived earlier than my friend and i made friends so quickly with the people who were in front of me in the queue, and i ended up spending the whole concert with them

secondly let me say that the organisation of this concert was an absolute joke, specifically the queueing. it was terrible, the worst organisation i’ve seen in a long time. they originally had one queue for everything, then created a ‘concert’ queue and made people move, then when the daytime event queue had died down we got moved back to where we originally were - except there was no guidance. everyone just ran for it. people at the front ended up at the back and people who’d just arrived got to the front. there was also a severe problem of people pushing in at the front - there was no barrier to block it and when we complained the security didn’t even try to do anything about it. 

i got to the venue at around 12:15, joined the only queue there was, was then moved to the ‘concert’ queue at around 12:45, was very near the front and managed to stay in basically the same place when we got moved back to our original line. then waited for about 6 hours, filled with events such as, as ive mentioned, people pushing in at the front and pretending they were there the whole time, the barrier being widened to such a degree at the front that there was no order at all

then came the worse part. we were lining up around the back of the building, and they wanted to move us to the front doors. so they stood back, and told us to go. everyone ran, again. i got pushed into walls and an open door, girls were falling over or hurting themselves on the barriers as everyone tried to get through. we had been asking them throughout the day how they were planning to get us in - we suggested sending us in groups of 10 or 20, or just making sure we all got to the doors one at a time. instead there was hundreds of people running to the doors, filling up the street because there was no barrier there to meet us. again, i managed to keep my place, pretty much, but a lot of people lost theirs, including girls at the front who had been there since 6am to queue. then despite the street being full of fans, they then told us to get in single file. which was fucking stupid because it wasnt possible. not unless they moved everyone forward enough, past the doors, to make enough room to move everyone against the wall, or move people backwards from the back of the queue, which literally went around the whole block. we eventually got in by them just giving up and letting us in one at a time with as little pushing as possible

but anyway, thats enough of that, although i will be complaining officially online lmao

okay the actual concert. by some miracle, i just got to the barrier, i got the last space. but myself and a couple of girls to my left were in the worst place to be at the barrier - in front of us was a camera man officially recording for the tv screen above, so during the concert idols would often be blocked by the camera which will be shown in my exid fancams lmao. but hey, i was at the barrier, i can’t complain. the distance from the barrier to the stage was about 10 feet i think, it was pretty large tbh so im rly glad i got to be there. we also got given water by very nice security thank u security

they were showing mvs for about an hour while we waited. if you were there, the first scream @ jeonghwa’s appearance in any mv was always me jsyk dklfjhdskj

when the concert started, there was a taekwondo performance which was a m a z i n g, they were breaking wood with their feet and at one point i was scared the broken wood would hit me lmao

after that, hani came on mc’ing, along with two other guys who i don’t know. the moment she appeared i Died. she was wearing such a pretty white dress, shes so angelic and cute and beautiful. she came out to mc after every performance, except it was just the guys when exid was about to perform. she spoke about going to see the disadvantaged kids yesterday and one of the guys was like “hanis not just beautiful, she has a beautiful heart” and hani said “the most beautiful is everyone here!” jdksa shes honestly a Dream

knk was first to perform, then snuper, then exid, then highlight. i’m not gonna pretend i was really there to see anyone but exid, because i wasn’t. but i did hearts to all the idols and i really enjoyed all their performances. knk sang knock first which is the only song i like by them so to hear it was so great. they’re such good dancers and they’re all very pretty

after knk, hani and the guys introduced a “special performance because london has gone through some hardships recently”. it was hyerin singing “you raise me up” and it was so beautiful i would have cried if i weren’t so focused on filming haha

then it was snuper’s turn to perform. i only know platonic love, so i enjoyed that, but i was pretty clueless about the rest of the songs. i still liked it tho. during one of their songs they brought a fan on stage to sing to her and also threw roses to the crowd. according to my friend who was a bit further back one of the members aimed one at her but a girl in front of her caught it lol. one of the members was so funny idk his name but fans threw a signed uk flag at the stage and he put it on like a cape and he came over to our section loads. hes my bias now but who is he

after that (i think??), knk came back on to perform a cover of an ed sheeran song which i don’t know the name of. everyone sang with them and it was rly Nice

then my girls!!! arrived and i screamed So Loud it was too much. they’re all so beautiful, but u kno i love my girl jeonghwa and omg... pictures and videos dont do her justice at all shes honestly Ethereal i went into shock and i almost teared up. i saw a girl so beautiful i started crying???

they started with hot pink and i could kinda feel how empty it was without solji but it was still amazing to see the four of them. then they moved onto night rather than day, then ah yeah, then finally up and down. i was trying So Hard to get interaction, i made eye contact with jeonghwa a few times and every time i was givin her hearts... she just kinda glanced over me tho.... its ok i still love u

the girl next to me got So much interaction, from l.e especially. she had a homemade exid fan sign and l.e seemed to love it haha. i probably should have made something too

exid’s performance seemed to go so quickly, i filmed most of their songs and some of their talk. i haven’t even watched the videos yet i’m gonna die

after exid, there was a performance with snuper and a group of girl dancers who i think won a competition during the day? they did dance covers of a few bts songs

then highlight came on and performed two of their new songs, before two of their old ones. i rly enjoyed the old ones, the new ones... they were okay but i liked being reminded of their old image as beast. i think this was when one of them motioned for us to clap, i was one of the first to start so he looked at me was he was walking our way and nodded at me which was cool lol. i think it was highlight anyway.... and i think it was that time... honestly the boy groups... kinda mushed together for me i could even begin to tell you which member it was. i made eye contact with a few guys of the various groups so i cant rly remember specifically

during highlights performance this annoying girl came up behind me and was literally pushing against me, trying to move my hair, touching my arms and back before eventually asking if i could move over. i did, but i later found out that the girl had literally somehow managed to get to the barrier from the back. she was rude as hell. also there was fireworks during the performance which scared the crap out of me i was like that compilation vid of chanyeol

after highlight, there was an encore where all the groups came out and threw balls and balloons. knk was in front of our section and exid were next to them more towards the middle. i feel bad for saying it but i ... rly wanted exid in front of me lmao. i did hearts towards them and here is where i might have got interaction from hani but im not sure???? she looked in my direction as i was looking at her and making a heart with my hands and she grinned and did a thumbs up but im not sure it was at me it might have been someone near me. i like to think it was at me tho. people around me got a lot of interaction with different idols but i didnt?? thats going back to diy stuff tho, ppl around me had created signs and written messages on paper and stuff so i guess thats where that came from. i rly would have done something too for exid but i didnt think id be that close, never mind at the barrier so i didn’t see much point

there was also confetti flying from a machine right in front of me and i accidentally dropped my exid fan sign i was given in the queue over the barrier so i caught confetti in my bag to take home instead lol. the annoying girl was still there and still annoying, she threw something at knk she’d made and one of the members got it and she started screaming and crying and yelling i love u which i wouldnt mind but... after the way she was so rude to me (and as i found out later, other ppl) nah why does she deserve that lmao. she also ended up getting a ball since security came over with two that had dropped and she said the yellow was hers... it wasnt she even asked me who signed it lmao

overall it was a really good concert and i cant wait to watch the videos back. it had ups and downs but despite having to miss london pride for it i dont regret going. i got to meet some great people and ofc i got to see my Special Girls in the flesh... they said they’d come back soon i hope so. ive drunk so much water tonight and im about to go and drink more also i can’t walk