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Story update
I got to write a good chunk of the opening these past two days. Excited to get more work done over March break. And I can't wait to get to writing more about my daughter T-T But she comes in a bit later in the story. Still in the first act, though.
Some more character design doodles:
#personal project#paleolithic#neanderthal#prehistory#I've been SO BUSY#being a school teacher is so difficult....#especially with 6-7 year olds. why did I end up with the worst age group#they are angels and devils SIMULTANIOUSLY.#I felt my soul leave my body this week. two of the grade 2 boys dropped f bombs. i was SO SHOCKED. this word could never leave my mouth eve#AND THESE BABIES ARE SAYING IT!!???#but being a school teacher means you also get school breaks soooo MARCH BREAK LETS GO!!!#First thing I did: write more of the story and go ham with splatoon#the big run was so fun. I still couldn't break through to silver.... :'(#I don't know if I'll get much drawing done. I've been in a zelda 2 mood again. Maybe some zelda 2 art#I need to get back to finishing the remaster! I'm on maze island now.#but on the agenda for SURE is to get the opening of the story done and out of the way so I can start writing the REAL fun stuff#It's taking a while.#rambling again :P#oh and ramadan mubarak! tomorrow is the first day of fasting.
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my family is fucking addicted to macgyvering and it's becoming a problem. every time something in this house breaks, instead of doing the sensible thing of replacing it or calling someone qualified to fix it, we all group around the offending object with a manic look in our eyes and everyone gets a try at fixing it while being cheered on or ridiculed by the rest.
it's a beautiful bonding activity, but the "creative" fixes have turned our house into a quasihaunted escape room like contraption where everything works, but only in the wonkiest of ways. you need a huge block of iron to turn on the stove. the oven only works if a specific clock is plugged in. the bread machine has a huge wood block just stapled to it that has become foundational to its function. sometimes when you use the toaster the doorbell rings. and that's just the kitchen.
it's all fun and games until you have guests over and you have to lay out the rules of the house like it's a fucking board game. welcome to the beautiful guest room. don't pull out the couch yourself you need a screwdriver for that, and that metal rod makes the lamp work so don't move it. it also made me a terrifying roommate in college, because it makes me think i can fix anything with enough hubris and a drill. you want to call the landlord about a leaky faucet? as if. one time my dad made me install a new power socket because we ran our of extension cords
#this post was inspired by me using a screwdriver to take the broiler off the wall because the warm water stopped working#while my dad went well there is only cables in there. who are we if we dont find our ways around some cables#damn right!!!!
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#had been wanting to do this for a while now#farcille#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi spoilers#marcille donato#falin touden#it takes a beast to tame an italian#muh art
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conner kent has INCREDIBLE self control, cause if i came back from being dead to find out Tim Drake tried to clone me 99 times because he missed me so much, i’d immediately make him my bride
#and all his parents were dead at that point so no need to ask for their blessings#QUICK MARRY HIM WHILE HIS INSANE FAMILY IS DISTRACTED OR DEAD#like take the win when it’s handed to you#red robin#batman#tim drake#dc#robin#timkon#conner kent#superboy
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low-poly, ps1-ish Batter
#art#off game#off mortis ghost#off batter#off fanart#blender3d#reallyyyy like how this one turned out. it's nice to take a break from drawing once in a while
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a moment of peace before the whole world shatters 😇
get your own print here ❤️
#do you ever cry while touching your pinky to a strand of your besties unruly hair#I call this aesthetic “warm angst” :'D#geto taking the pining to the next level#I imagine this takes place after the big village event#but before gojo finds out about it#just geto taking a moment to say his farewell to the life as he knew it#christmas present for my satosugu obsessed buddy @kymsys who lovingly made me read the manga at gunpoint. I hate you (affectionately) ❤️#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#satosugu#stsg#satosugu fanart#stsg fanart#gojo satoru#geto suguru#jjk fanart#anime#fanart#digital art#art#artwork#gojo fanart#geto fanart
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calling my lover "mine" but not in the way that my toothbrush or notebook are mine, mine in the way my neighborhood is mine, and also everybody else's, "mine" like mine to tend to, mine to care for, mine to love. "mine" not like possession but devotion.
#nonbinary love#nblnb yearning#nb4nb#nblnb#wholesomeposting#yearning hours#ive been thinking about how some languages dont have a possessive tense#so you dont say “i have a thing” but rather “a thing is by me”#and like im not usually one for psycho linguistics and like critical thoughts etc etc etc#but i really like the framework of responsibility/commitment rather than ownership#i think about this mostly in terms of ecology#and relation to land#but i also love it as it applies to language shared between lovers#like i LOVE calling them mine or for them to call me theirs#but i'm also nonmonog and that was kinda weird to square for a while#and it clicked one time when i was talking about my neighborhood and i was like well#when i say my neighborhood or my city it's understood i'm not taking it away from anybody else#its understood i just mean the city where i live#so why cant we apply the same to lovers?#mine in the way i want to show up for you again and again#ok#done now
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I think so many people are so deeply alienated from themselves that they have no clue how to exercise their free will and autonomy. For some, this alienation runs so deep that they are afraid of their own autonomy and humanity. It is completely understandable why one would have those feelings, but it can be worrisome.
I want to help others who feel this way, so here are small things I have done to exercise my free will:
Add "guilty pleasure" songs to playlists and actually listen to them (I have a ton of late 1990s-early 2000s music I listen to now proudly that I never listened to in the past out of shame)
Getting the décor item, bath set, bed spread, ect. in the patterns you like, even if it's "childish" (I got a dinosaur-themed wastebasket from the kids' décor section and I adore it)
Taking a new route to get to a place you go to often
Eat dessert first
Celebrate well, and often
Collect things that are "odd" or don't seem like an "acceptable" thing to collect (somebody on my "for you" page collects dandelion crayola crayons and it was so cool!!!!!!)
Incorporate one new piece in an outfit you wear frequently (e.g., a new chain, a necklace, ribbons, bracelets, ect.). Challenge yourself to add onto the outfits if you feel up for it.
Sing along to songs without worrying that you sound "good" or your intonation is completely accurate
Read a book from a genre you weren't allowed to read as a kid (comics, thrillers, mysteries, anything!)
Walk without having a specific destination or goal
Pick up a new craft without expecting yourself to master it or to ever be "good" enough. Get your hands messy.
I don't want to shame anybody for not feeling as though they have free will or that they are exempt from exercising it. However, I wanted to give ideas so that you might read this list and find your own ways to express your intrinsic autonomy and will. You deserve to be a person, to feel alive, not just living. That is what our lives are for.
#mental health#mental health support#positivity#if anybody has ideas of their own definitely include them!#i just think being stuck with this feeling that you don't have autonomy and that you ultimately aren't an equal person or a person at all..#...in comparison to other people can be a really troubling and dangerous place to be in...#...and that isn't the person's fault for feeling that way. they didn't pluck those thoughts out of thin air...#...like i have felt that exact way all my LIFE because i have been abused for. probably 2/3s of my life...#...only within these past few years have i even FELT alive. frankly it's going to take a while to repair what i have been left with...#...so i know the feeling and i want to help others feel even a LITTLE bit alive. you deserve it...#...you deserve to take in a deep breath before slowly realizing 'oh my gd this is what it feels like to be alive' and SMILE about it#i want that for you even if it is brief. even if it is small. even if it is a whisper. i want you to feel alive#unironically getting rid of the idea of 'guilty pleasures' has made my life SO much better
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crowley
#fem presenting crowley you're everything to me#as you might know I've been recovering from an injury these past few weeks which is why I couldn't draw as much as usual#been doing a bit better so I wanted to give drawing a try again#while my arm isn't back to normal yet it feels a LOT better than 2 weeks ago#which is a good sign#still gonan take things easy of course#good omens#good omens fanart#crowley#fem crowley#why was one of teh suggestions for that tag fem crocodile#I'll have to look that up#david tennant#crowley fanart#aziracrow#aziracrow fanart#my art#fanart#my good omens art#good omens 2
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Attack on @plaiesancier 🚢
#artfight website is working like crap today#so it may take a while before I post something there!#artfight#art#artists on tumblr#illustration#traditional art
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AU where the timeline gets reset but Zuko still has all his memories. Now in comic form
The backstory for this drawing
#baked bean originals#I guess I un-scrapped the comic because people seemed to like it#drawing sokka getting beat up or miserable is so fun to draw#Some stuff had to be condensed because drawing these pictures takes up time#the last panel takes a while after the second to last panel#avatar the last airbender#atla#aang#katara#sokka#zuko#zuko time travel au
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Belphegor might be going through a bald phase when I pick him up in May, so............ I have to buy cat clothing!
#keep the little guy warm!#Devon Rex cats moult out their baby coat as kittens#and it takes months to regrow their adult coat#so I might have a hairless cat for a while
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I like to think that Vulcans who come to understand that Humans just can’t try to process emotions the same way as them, it’s just healthiest to let it out in harmless ways, decide that venting and stuff should be taken just as seriously as Vulcan’s meditation time, and will encourage the Humans around them to complain about what’s upsetting them
People who are used to aloof Vulcans who avoid Humans at all cost running into one comforting a Human
“-and then they said my cheesecake was subpar, and they didn’t even bring a dish!!!”
“The purpose of this event was that every participant brings a food item of sorts, correct?”
“Yeah!!”
“And they did not follow this rule while insulting dishes that were brought?”
“Mostly just my dish but yeah >:(“
“How illogical”
“That’s what I’m saying!!!”
#star trek#Vulcans#Humans#not based on a specific thing#but I used to know this annoying couple that were ‘family friends’#who would show up to potluck dinners and the like and would either bring nothing or bring something really just. out of left field?#like a bag of frozen chicken to a bbq#and then proceed to make sure they are first even if it was stated to let kids go first#would take HUGE amounts before anyone else got a chance to get a plate#and then make off with the leftovers again even if they were already claimed for#and it wasn’t a food insecurity thing trust me I would never speak bad about a person getting food if that was even a remote chance#the adults who raised us knew them really well and we’d been to their house a ton of times#they were just dicks#and yeah. they’d occasionally insult the food. while eating the MAJORITY of it.#it was so weird at their home they would go out of their way to get the healthiest options possible#you know the really bland tasteless expensive stuff that apparently was healthier#but then if they were visiting our house they would. eat all our unhealthy snacks.#that always pissed me off so much as a kid because we actually had a food insecurity thing going on#and also a variety of other reasons that are a bit too depressing to bring up on this post#but anyways we’d hardly ever get to have nice snacks#and this couple would just take them all??? even after we’d tell them repeatedly that it was ours and those snacks weren’t gonna be#replaced#hated that couple#if you’re wondering why they were ‘family friends’ it’s because the couple who raised us#(it feels weird to type it out like that but apparently legal guardians doesn’t fit since they never finished petitioning 💀)#liked having them around because it made them look like ‘such great Christian’s’ being nice to the people#that no one else wanted to be friends with#I always thought that was a really weird and fucked up reason to be friends with someone#this got long sorry 😭
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Kim Kitsuragi is a fascinating character because there's not that much fun or interesting or compelling about him. And yet somehow over the course of playing Disco Elysium the game rewires your fucking brain around him. He's the middest man you've ever seen in both appearance and personality but at some point he says something kind to you or something critical of you and you feel like you just got hit by a truck and you need his approval like you need oxygen and like how tf did this happen. what are you
#disco elysium#de#kim kitsuragi#i have an interdisciplinary degree in game design and psychology and i'm still unsure how they pulled this off#my best guess is that the early game beats you over the head with how much you suck and everyone hates you#and this allows for any genuine praise from another character to feel massive#the fact that he doesn't take pity on you ever contributes to praise from him feeling earned. like you CAN get better#whereas pity from lena or judit#while comforting#doesn't do anything to alleviate how pathetic you feel
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not supposed to be on the table but she looks so polite
#she sat next to me while I was working on my laptop this morning 😭#willabee#also a note from the blog manager:#I need to take a screentime break for a little while so blog updates will return in a couple weeks!
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changes and trends in horror-genre films are linked to the anxieties of the culture in its time and place. Vampires are the manifestation of grappling with sexuality; aliens, of foreign influence. Horror from the Cold War is about apathy and annihilation; classic Japanese horror is characterised by “nature’s revenge”; psychological horror plays with anxieties that absorbed its audience, like pregnancy/abortion, mental illness, femininity. Some horror presses on the bruise of being trapped in a situation with upsetting tasks to complete, especially ones that compromise you as a person - reflecting the horrors and anxieties of capitalism etc etc etc. Cosmic horror is slightly out of fashion because our culture is more comfortable with, even wistful for, “the unknown.” Monster horror now has to be aware of itself, as a contingent of people now live in the freedom and comfort of saying “I would willingly, gladly, even preferentially fuck that monster.” But I don’t know much about films or genres: that ground has been covered by cleverer people.
I don’t actually like horror or movies. What interests me at the moment is how horror of the 2020s has an element of perception and paying attention.
Multiple movies in one year discussed monsters that killed you if you perceived them. There are monsters you can’t look at; monsters that kill you instantly if you get their attention. Monsters where you have to be silent, look down, hold still: pray that they pass over you. M Zombies have changed from a hand-waved virus that covers extras in splashy gore, to insidious spores. A disaster film is called Don’t Look Up, a horror film is called Nope. Even trashy nun horror sets up strange premises of keeping your eyes fixed on something as the devil GETS you.
No idea if this is anything. (I haven’t seen any of these things because, unfortunately, I hate them.) Someone who understands better than me could say something clever here, and I hope they do.
But the thing I’m thinking about is what this will look like to the future, as the Victorian sex vampires and Cold War anxieties look to us. I think they’ll have a little sympathy, but they probably won’t. You poor little prey animals, the kids will say, you were awfully afraid of facing up to things, weren’t you?
#this is the sort of observation I make here that people#go off and write their thesis about#so while I’m not expecting to be the first or cleverest person to say this#if you do use it as a springboard#tell me if you get a good grade ok?#I’ll be tremendously proud of you#like if you take a shitpost and use it to craft deep attentive thought on something important#I just think that’s probably the most noble use of a human brain#it makes me want to take off my hat and slam it to the ground in inexpressible emotion#it’s a cowboy hat btw#and I say something like GOLDURN IT THAT KID SURE HAS DELIVERED.#ok so don’t deny me this#especially if you correct me after a long research journey#GOLDURN IT THE KID IS RIGHT!
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