#will be updating abt it slowly on patreon

[mimimar]

wishing only wounds the heart

(art prints)

[beesmygod]

everyone in a while i post little updates abt my personal life here detailing my brain progress. this year (jan) has been like, outrageous in terms of strides and progress. at the expense of being able to work less (im working on being ok with this. with the way patreon is set up i only get paid for money for work i actually which helps a lot from feeling like im taking advantage of people) i’ve been attending dr appointments, therapy and finally talking about some things that i haven’t felt safe enough to talk about until now. 

for a multitude of reasons i grew up feeling very vulnerable, worthless and with self-esteem that was below sea level. i’ve been slowly conquering fears, setting boundaries and communicating my needs and how i feel more effectively than ever. being loved and advocated for helps. the most wonderful realization is that im a product of my environment and while im responsible for my actions now, what happened to me was not my fault. i didnt become spontaneously insane to inconvenience everyone around me, i was a very obvious pressure cooker that didnt handle freedom well.

feels good man.