els-moonleaf

[els-moonleaf]

why is trespassing not allowed. like i just want to look

[els-moonleaf]

i may have my father's worst traits but i am more ethical & virtuous with them than him

[els-moonleaf]

Low-key hilarious how 95% of Dragonborn end up with a Hoard. Absolutely peak intersection of narrative and game design. You consume ONE dragon soul and next thing you know you’ve got 175 wheels of cheese. You learn like 3 whole words in Draconic and you’ve got poor Lydia pack-muling candelabras across the fjords. I personally mostly Hoarded precious metals and gems, but I’ve seen people who Hoarded books and pelts and, like…there is No mechanical reward for this. Players just love to Hoard shit in that game. Absolute Dragon behavior.

[els-moonleaf]

Your ADHD medication has worn off.

[els-moonleaf]

always complain about things. okay, you know how programmers explain their code to rubber ducks when it's not working? same principle. an appliance breaks down. I get pissed off, try everything, go through the various stages of despair etc. I complain about it to a friend and explain why it frustrates me so bad, and suddenly I'm thinking 'wait I should try unplugging it and then doing a factory reset and then—' and I go home and do that and it starts working again. I keep losing my earrings. I complain about it to a friend, about how I keep them all in a little dish but then the specific one I want always dematerialises the moment I want it. my friend says 'I just keep them on the little card backs they came with' and I think well shit, I always throw those out. but then I think aha I can make a bunch of pinholes in a decorative postcard. genius. I read a story. it's about something I'm usually into, but for some reason I don't like this story at all. I complain about it, I figure out what irritates me about it, I have a great idea for a way better story. I try a new recipe, it doesn't come together. I bitch about it like crazy, about what I thought I did right and how it failed, and before I know it I'm explaining out loud which parts I'm inexperienced at or didn't understand or adjusted wrong. I need a little table for drawing on. I complain about it in the group chat, two days later someone says 'hey I spotted the kind of table you're looking for on the side of the road, do you want to come pick it up'. I complain, endlessly. my life is enriched. the art of complaining.

[els-moonleaf]

hey so anyone else just, feel thin. sort of stretched. like butter scraped over too much bread. like you need a holiday. a very long holiday. and you don't expect you shall return? or is that just me and bilbo baggins

[els-moonleaf]

I've recently started reading the Realm of the Elderlings series for the first time and I've never fallen in love with a book series so fast!! I feel CRAZY! Here's some Fitz + The Fool (pls no spoilers in the replies I beg)

[els-moonleaf]

you're telling me this guy's a bouncer? huh... and what does he bounce on, if you don't mind me asking...?

[els-moonleaf]

“Now, bear in mind,” *I pause, allowing time for you to visualize the bear*

[els-moonleaf]

YOUR EMAIL FINDS ME ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE

[els-moonleaf]

J.R.R. Tolkien, from The Return of the King

[els-moonleaf]

imagine you speak to your one true love for the first time and you gotta tell them a tongue twister and it goes really badly but you have to say it so you just keep repeating it over and over while they get more and more confused and then you finally get it out and walk off into a bush

[els-moonleaf]

snail in my ear telling me to play morrowind soundtrack on loop and walk around the room like an npc

[els-moonleaf]

[els-moonleaf]

Nothing more embarrassing than accidentally using a big word wrong because now I'm simultaneously both stupid and pretentious, the worst combination of all time

[els-moonleaf]

*approaches a throuple* so who’s the solider who’s the poet and who’s the king

[els-moonleaf]

Yesterday my sister was going to complain about how things could have been different with our parents but stopped herself and said "No use treading through the multiverse"

Sooo true bestie that's going straight into my lexicon