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hisuian-history-makers · 2 years ago

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Throughout my years of being a Pokémon fan (and other fandoms fan), I have come up with several ideas for stories I wanted to write. Who hasn’t humored the thought of translating their ideas to reality. Except putting yourself out there is extremely nerve-wracking. Even more so when you are a somewhat perfectionist like myself. Improper grammar/capitalization can make potential readers not want to read fanfics. And I am not nitpicking the occasional errors.

To name a few: using too many commas, repetitive word choice, improper grammar, uncapitalized words throughout the entire story, thick blocks of text when you need to break up paragraphs, etc… You get the point. The last one seriously makes me mad because I will lose my place in a chapter. I understand the first drafts won’t be perfect from the get-go, but them not improving frustrates me. What I am trying to get at is writing something you are satisfied with is harder than it sounds.

Moving onto the main point of this post. The Pokémon world’s floating timeline presents a unique problem. Whether it is the eternal summer of the Anime or games remakes making concrete events more vague. I’m not going into the darker Manga events since I barely know them. It tends to be different from our own in many ways besides super powered creatures. Here are some questions I ask myself whenever I think up any fanfic ideas.

—Do all individuals of a species look the same? {Pokémon look like mirror copies no matter how many you catch in the games. I would like to think there are other appearance traits than the bigger size. Maybe some have shaggier fur, longer claws, and different colors besides being shiny considering the genetic diversity.}

—Why do some people have Pokémon before being ten years old? {We know being ten is the minimum requirement to take on the league. Yet we see visibly younger kids have Pokémon in several other regions. I think ten is the youngest age you are allowed to be to compete in official tournaments. Ash had a trainer’s license in the Anime which might relate to this.}

—Are talented/prodigy trainers granted special privileges? {In a short answer, yes. We see very young trainers like Tate and Liza appointed to co-gym leader status. It seems talented trainers are very sought after in the Pokémon world. The youngest high-ranking trainer has to be (SPOILERS) the Paldea’s Poppy. Her attitude and visible appearance make me think she is five to six years old. Poppy is strong enough to hold an Elite Four position in the game!}

—Why are we made the new champion after beating the old one? {This is one of the few things about the games that genuinely annoys me. We are not only the strongest trainer in-region but given a high authority position. League champions appear to be people who rank first in the tournament. What would make more sense is the former champion mentors whoever beat them for a few years. Champions hold the highest authority being able to go to places too dangerous for average trainers.}

—What exactly are Legendaries/Mythicals? {Not the easiest question to answer so let’s go over the basics. All species have the strength of fully-evolved dragon types. Each has a job to do in the world, some more important than others considering what they represent. One's like the Creation Trio and Arceus are actual real gods. Giratina itself was described as eldritch. People can go their whole lives without seeing one in any continuity. A lucky few can catch them and they will actually listen to orders.}

—Is it legal to have a Legendary Pokémon considering how important they are? {When you take into account their sheer strength and abilities this is a grey area. We catch the region’s legendaries/mythical in every game. I have personally used at least one box legend on teams to beat the Elite Four. In the universe though how often does this genuinely happen? Where they bond enough to let themselves be caught by a mortal. It would be so easy for Groudon or Yveltal to just kill us if they didn’t want to listen... Are there rules for this? A limit to how many you can use on a team. Does the trainer have to let the league know they have one if they take on the Pokémon League? Look at how easily Tobias swept the gym challenge.}

—How advanced is the technology? {Another odd area so rarely addressed in the Pokemon World. Bags, a staple thing, can hold several items including Bikes in them without weighing us down. Pokemon are transported by digitizing them across the internet/electric lines. Centers can heal our pokémon with a machine in just a few seconds. Teleport tiles have existed since the first freaking generation! The Pokemon World is much more advanced than our own. I would say they focused on medicine, science, and transportation the most.}

—Is battling similar to animal fighting? {PETA has kicked up enough fuss over the years when it comes to the Pokémon franchise. The games have shown that trainers make friends with their Pokémon enough to affect battles. Some even shrug off status effects to not worry the trainer. There are cases of Pokémon abuse and abandonment in the series. Yet tend to be much rarer than our cases in our world. Besides, wild Pokémon will battle to get stronger.}

—Are there any real-world animals? {Evidence for this is present when you look at species classifications. Cats, dogs, mice, crocodiles, and others like that are found in dex entries. Fish were seen in the anime’s early episodes. Pidgeotto ate an actual worm before Ash caught it... So kinda. Smaller animals seem to inhabit the Pokémon World from what we’ve seen. Makes the food situation less grim.}

—What is pokémon training actually like? {I imagine that it’s far less glamorous than the games show. Camping for months on end without access to showers. Having to feed six super-powered creatures three times a day. Not to mention having an unstable budget to rely on. I pity those who repeatedly lose.}

Now questions I don’t have answers/ headcanons/theories on currently.

—What was the Pokémon World’s reaction to parallel dimensions being real? Ultra Space

—Why are there two different types of Rangers? One that uses poke balls and one using stylers.

—Is time travel a somewhat regular occurrence and do people watch for timeline changes? The Hisui situation is not subtle with there being Porygon in the pokédex. Time-space distortions might appear in the modern day.

—Are humans in there more durable than us? Ash gets hit by Pokémon moves and Lance hyper-beamed someone in Mahogany Town.

—How can friendship be quantified?

—What’s the yearly number of Pokémon killing humans?

—Are psychics employed as lie detectors?

—Is it wrong for a psychic to read minds?

—Do mediums need special training?

—How do non-Pokémon related careers fare in a Pokemon training-focused world?

—Does ditto breeding have any side effects?

—What requirements are there to become a gym leader? Why is it only one gym per town?

—Can a trainer be charged with murder if one of their Pokémon kills a human in self-defense?

—Are there blacklisted species against the law to be trained without licenses?

—What happens to all the less-than-ideal babies from IV breeding? Shiny breeding?

—Where do Pokémon eggs actually come from?

—How often are Pokémon actually injured to the point if bleeding?

—Why does this crazy world let ten-year-olds wander in the wilderness?

—Are the evil teams' schemes years in the making? What were they thinking messing with the God-like Legendaries?

—How much does the league tell the public about us stopping evil teams?

—Are the additional non-native encounters in remakes caused by the Legendary Pokémon raging? Mass migrations away from danger.

—Can they take away our legendary Pokemon?

—Do the legendaries have cult followings?

—Would using Mega Evolution or Z-Moves to battle trainers who can’t be considered unfair?

—How rare is the ability to talk to Pokémon?

—Do badges/ribbons expire?

—Is evolving less maturing than just growing stronger? Can evolved mons still be immature?

—Are atheists a thing in the Pokemon world?

—How many grimdark or nuzlucke stories are just dark timelines?

—What if Legendaries are classified as genderless because nobody has studied them?

—Do Pokémon have to be re-caught if the trainer wants to switch their poke ball type?

—How rare are evolution items?

—How do TMs teach Pokemon new moves?

—Are ghost types immortal?

—What happens to Orre during the time skip?

—Does Ash age or is he stuck at ten?

—When does Ingo get sucked into the past?

—How long was he there before we show up?

—How do trade evolutions occur wild?

—Do we control the player character to save the region?

—What weapons if any exist in that world?

—How old are the Champions?

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I ask myself these when I consider any future stories history and worldbuilding. Hope to one day write quality fanfic that avoids the cliches.

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everythingismadeofchaos · 7 months ago

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Real quick though, has anyone else started taking THC for the first time for anxiety and experienced the following effects?

1. The sensation that you are a different person, along with the knowledge that it is only an illusion, which is reassuring to know

2. Drastically different brain function leading to powerful insights or deeper understanding of known concepts

3. Directing this increased insight inwards toward the self and discovering your own personality problems, which would be obvious to an objective onserver and you only needed like a second opinion or a friend or something to tell you about and explain

4. You then make clear decisions, even drastic ones, regarding your own life, and then make notes of these decisions that you yourself will later read, say by putting them in your calendar or something

5. Your life is legitimately improved simply by the advice of a separate person with a very clear insight and tremendous understanding of your psyche, which person happens to be you

I have made a new friend, and he is me

People this is happening to me right now, and I can tell you it is delightful. I get optimism in my everyday life from this. Like I understand the THC has a momentary euphoric effect, but separate from that and long after the chemicals have worn off, this mechanism results in improved quality of life.

I've always tried to be kind to other people, I've always tried to be a nice and decent person, consciously. Since I have started taking THC I have had whatever it takes to implement this in a proactive manner. I compliment people. I consciously try to make other people's lives better, whether they're having a rough time or not. I generally stay away from negative people, but lately rather than engage with them I just ignore them, and I think this is healthier for me and also better in the world.

Literally everything I have encountered so far using this drug has been positive. Literally everything about this experience has been overwhelmingly positive. I have been taking THC gummies for about a year now, maybe once or twice a week, and literally all results have been positive

I have composed this entire post just after the effects have kicked in, and I need to go now because I have to write myself some notes. Thank you all so much for reading my words. I have just started using the website in the last month or two and practically every interaction has been a delight. I particularly enjoy so much being subscribed to unfiltered individuals who have so much to say and lead unique and interesting lives with their own inner worlds and personal experiences. I am so very grateful to all of you, anyone who reads this, anyone following me who doesn't get to read it, anyone not following me, anyone keeping the site operating at all. It has been so beneficial to me. I'm a CIS male and every once in awhile I feel a ghost of the isolation here that I feel in my usual life, a vague sense of unbelonging, but it is positively beans to what happens in my regular everyday life not on the site. Every minute here is a respite. I cannot understand trans people or LGBT people at all, their motivations are utterly opaque to me, and yet the empathy I feel, and usually I have a lot of empathy (kind of a weirdly large amount for someone in my demographic), and since I started taking THC it has cranked up to 11, as is written in the scriptures. The feeling I get from just lurking on posts where my own opinion is irrelevant and listening to the discussion has been so marvelous and uplifting a kaleidoscope of emotions and energy and originality. I'm sorry, I'm aware I'm having this experience and I have to go because I might start oversharing. If tonight's my big night and I never see you again thank you all. It is likely I have some time left and hopefully I will get to spend more time on this site for at least several years, And even if I say something really stupid and get myself banned all I have to do is make another account and just not post, not talk to people so I don't fuck it up again, and I can listen to all I want. 10/10

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star-maiden · 3 years ago

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Help! These D*** Cards Don’t make sense!

What To Do When a Tarot Reading Seems Like Nonsense

⭐️ First of all, we need to get a few things clear. Tarot won’t always make sense. You will make mistakes. Sometimes, you won’t get any messages at all no matter how hard you try. If this sounds similar to your experience with the cards, don’t feel bad. It doesn’t mean you’re a “bad” reader. As soon as you get more comfortable with the idea of being wrong, you’ll find that your confidence (and subsequently your readings) will improve a lot! Got that? Great! Let’s move on to the topic at hand.

Confused by your tarot cards? Don’t get discouraged.

⭐️ I’m just going to tell you plainly. There isn’t a single tarot reader in the world who hasn’t been completely baffled with their cards at some point. This is natural and a completely normal part of the learning process. What’s more, Tarot is one of those things that you never really stop learning more about. There is always room for growth, and for finding deeper meanings within the stories each card tells. So if you’re hoping to be a “Tarot Master” with omnipotent vision and 100% accurate readings about everything, then I’m afraid I must be the bearer of bad news: There’s no such thing. We’ll all be wrong or confused sometimes, and that’s ok.

Even so, there are a few things to consider if you find yourself bamboozled by your cards more often than not.

Reasons why your tarot cards don’t make sense, and what to do about it.

1. You’re cards haven’t been shuffled properly.

⭐️ This is a common culprit for readings that aren’t making much sense. If you don’t shuffle your cards enough, either straight out of the plastic wrapping or after too many readings, you won’t get any clear messages. This is especially true if you’ve been doing a lot of readings, and just quickly shuffling your pulled cards back into the deck afterwards. If you notice that you are getting a lot of cards from previous readings, and they aren’t making much sense, it might be time for a good shuffle.

What to do: If your deck is new, you’ll want to spend several days shuffling and getting to know the cards. This will mix up the cards enough for you to actually get messages, and help you become more familiar with the imagery of the deck (which will improve your intuitive readings).

⭐️ If you deck isn’t new, it’s likely that you just haven’t shuffled well enough in between readings. It happens. Just give them a good shuffle, and you’ll be set.

2. You don’t know the card meanings well enough.

⭐️ Wait! Don’t get upset yet! I’m not saying that you have to memorize the traditional meaning of every card, and use only that definition as the “be all, end all” of card interpretations. Far from it! That would be super boring. I’m also not saying that you can’t use the guidebook (you totally can). In fact, if you use your guidebooks, you’ll be able to learn the subtle nuances that each deck author attributes to the card meanings. It’s pretty neat stuff!

⭐️ However, a basic understanding of your cards and their key meanings will help you read accurately with consistency. A big part of intuitive reading is being able to recognize the symbolism within the cards. If you know a keyword for each card, you can use them as a starting point for your interpretations.

⭐️ For example: Let’s say you have the 4 of cups. Traditionally, it shows a moody figure, staring off into the distance, with spilled cups before them. Above the figure is often some sort of offering that they can’t see. If you know that a keyword for the 4 of cups is apathy, you could use the symbolism in the card to read it as “having lost interest in a situation”. The figure feels apathy for the situation he’s in, and is not interested in what is being offered. That’s an example of the traditional, symbolic meaning of the tarot in action. Ready to take this a step further? Once you know the traditional meaning, you can combine it with other cards, as well as the details of the situation, to “springboard” into other interpretations.

⭐️ Example 2: Maybe you know that “apathy”, the traditional meaning of the 4 of cups, doesn’t completely fit. In this imaginary reading, the client is asking you about an argument they had with their partner. They are hurt and upset, and have asked you if it’s worth it to stay in the relationship. Clearly, they are not feeling apathetic toward the situation! In this case, we would go beyond “apathy” or “loss of interest”. What is the energy of this card? Combining the imagery with the traditional meaning, we can generate other meanings. Stagnancy, miscommunication and an inability to see another perspective are all alternative, non-traditional interpretations. In this situation, I might tell this client that there is some confusion between them and their partner. Neither one has a clear understanding of how the other feels. Therefore, it might be a good idea to discuss the current situation with each other once they have both had time to calm down. The surrounding cards will usually help you fine tune your interpretation.

What do to: There’s no way around this one. Study the cards. In particular, the imagery of your deck will be very useful to become familiar with. Read your guidebook, read other tarot books and blogs, journal about your readings. If books are not your thing, there are countless YouTube videos and podcasts that cover tarot these days. My favorite tarot podcast is Tarot bytes by Theresa Reed. Pace yourself. You don’t have to learn everything in a week. Most importantly, read, read, read with your deck. The more you read, the more you will begin to understand how your deck communicates and how your intuition picks up on this subtle energy.

3. You are too emotionally invested in the outcome of the reading.

⭐️ This mostly happens if you are reading for yourself, but it can also happen when reading for close friends or family. Sometimes, if we are hyper focused on a particular outcome or in a state of reaction, it’s easy to project our own personal feelings onto the cards. This skews the interpretation. Its not a bad thing to read for yourself, your family or your friends. However, it’s a good idea to keep this point in mind.

What to do: If you are nervous, upset or in any way unable to remain objective about the outcome, it’s probably best to not do the reading. You can try again later when things are calmer.

4. You’ve ignored the focus question.

⭐️ This happens when a reader fails to take into account the “focus” or theme of the reading. For example, if a client asks you about work, and The Lovers card comes up, you should not tell them that they will meet their soulmate soon. This has nothing to do with what they were asking about. You’re more likely to encounter this problem when reading for others, but it can happen when reading for yourself.

What to do: An easy answer, stay on script. Keep the original question in the forefront of your mind during the entire reading. Like our example above, if you are reading about work, don’t start interpreting anything about romance. The cards are nuanced and varied enough to have multiple meanings. Instead, if The Lovers card appears in a work related reading, consider how the energy of the card might show up within the context of the reading. Instead of a “soulmate”, you might say that this client needs to find a harmony and balance between their home and work life. This is just one of many possible ways to interpret this card within the context of a work-related reading.

5. You’ve asked a question that is too specific OR that the tarot cannot answer.

⭐️ This can happen with both self-readings and readings for other people. Tarot is a powerful tool of self reflection and insightful divination, but it is not omnipotent. Further more, tarot readers themselves are not mind readers. We have to have context and understanding in order to see the connections clearly enough to interpret them with accuracy. With tarot, the more context we have about a situation, the better a reading will be. So for vague questions like “what will happen next Tuesday?”, a reader would need to supplement the reading with their intuitive abilities. It can be done, but the chance of misinterpretation is much higher if a reader is unsure how to weave the tarot and clair senses together.

⭐️ Some types of questions are ill-suited to tarot. Generally speaking, these would be questions that limit the ability of the seeker to act. “Will I pass my exam?” would not be a good question because it leaves no room for change or growth. A reader might struggle to interpret this correctly unless they are very experienced.

⭐️ Another type of question that you might see a lot are third party questions. For example: “Is person A having an affair with person B?” This type of question that doesn’t directly involve the seeker in any way is not useful with tarot. Most likely, you won’t get a clear answer or any useful information. Tarot is not a tool to be used to spy on others. In fact, it’s quite disrespectful to use the cards in this way.

What to do: A lot of this boils down to personal preference and reading style, but a good rule of thumb is to ask open ended questions. In this sense, questions that begin with “how” or “what” will be better than questions that start with “is”. Remember, tarot does not deal in absolutes. It reflects energy of situations and projected futures, and energy can change. Nothing is 100% certain with tarot.

#learn tarot #tarot #tarot resources #witchblr #witch community #divination #tarotblr #divination community

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astrolovecosmos · 5 years ago

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Progressed Ascendant

There are many sources to look up your progressed chart. This is not the same as your natal chart. Progressed placements are mostly useful for predictive astrology and helps show how you’ve grown in certain aspects of your life. Secondary Directions in Progressed Charts are more about what is changing internally compared to transit charts that are used for prediction with the outer world - “what might happen to you or in your life”. When it comes to a progressed chart remember it is all about internal change. It is interesting to note that the Moon, our emotional selves changes frequently. The progressed ascendant moves more slowly than other placements. The ascendant changes sign around every 20 years, sometimes less. Mars, Mercury, Venus - drive/passion, relationships, communication also change quickly compared to the Sun and Ascendant - essentially the more outer part of ourselves. The Ascendant and Sun only change a few times in our life. When the ascendant shifts it gives us a whole new viewpoint and approach to the world.

Progressed Aries Ascendant: Moving from sensitive, receptive, and vague Pisces here is now a time where you likely want to be direct. Maybe this is a time for gained confidence or there is a desire to try new things and to take risks. Moving out from the hidden to the open is a strong theme. Remember there can be a big shift in the view of the world and self-perception. There can be newfound optimism or there could be a sense of combativeness. A competitive spirit or a perception that the world has become more competitive or even aggressive can occur. A new philosophy on honesty can form or a focus on self-interest. There is a lot more energy and drive in how they interact with the world.

Progressed Taurus Ascendant: You have a desire to slow down. There may be growth in patience and level-headedness. Maybe there is new inspiration for self-care, indulgence, and any creative activities. There can be a new appreciation for food, nature, comfort, the senses. This can be a time of stubbornness, one may find themselves getting into ruts more often or maybe the first hardcore rut ever. Having a more practical outlook can happen. There is something to be said about a shift from Aries go-getter, take what is yours attitude to Taurus's attraction. More things likely come than are fought for. This can be in the realm of ideas, people, finances, many ways to interpret this.

Progressed Gemini Ascendant: There is an openness to one's worldview or approach, especially in the social realm. Communication, learning, and curiosity are at the forefront. At this point in someone's life can be critical for really taking on new ideas. There is flexibility in how they interact compared to the past. There can be a desire to shake up their routine. There may be a need for more space in their relationships. A want for detachment or separation may happen - for good or worse. The self can become unfocused and scattered. On one end is the ability to listen and share new ideas and perspectives, on the other is a feeling of being in limbo with what they thought of the world and how they interact with it or in their view of the self.

Progressed Cancer Ascendant: A focus on home, roots, past, and family may occur. The approach to self and the world is deeply emotional and receptive. There was a lot of learning and communicating before, now there is a need to protect and to sit with emotions. There is a great desire for security and safety. The worldview can become more understanding and compassionate but it could also become more skeptical, easily worried, guarded, and influenced by emotions. Creative expression during this part of life may be easier but at the same time there is a hesitance to share much of the self at all. This is a part of life more about introspection than interacting with others. Reflecting on the past is more common as well as understanding one's depth and intuition. The world seems scarier OR it may feel like one is more in tune with the reality of the world or at least the understanding of human nature.

Progressed Leo Ascendant: All those creative ideas and deep emotions from Cancer Ascendant are now ready to burst in expression and exposure! This doesn't have to mean creating masterpieces or shouting feelings from the rooftop, it can mean owning your self and emotions more. This can be a time of boosted confidence, a focus on self wants and needs, the ego is being looked at and this could mean an ego check or it could mean forming a healthier ego. Guarded and private is turned to openness, not just openness but the spotlight, leadership, or setting an example. A focus on play, celebration, fun, bold adventure, luxury, pampering, and daring can happen. The view of the world can be changed into something grand, from coming up with big ideas to maybe understanding how we all influence each other. There is an understanding in how leadership and power works. There can be insight into bravery, joy, generosity, impact, the heat of things, and the primal side of human nature.

Progressed Virgo Ascendant: If your ego didn't get checked before it will now. Humility and serving others is a big focus. With this time period I could see the approach to the world changing drastically. It isn't about you anymore, it is about others. Helping or caring is a big part of one's interaction with others. The view of the self can turn highly critical. Strong confidence or the past desire to be seen as strong or confident gets pulled apart by new inner eyes. Expect a more practical outlook and approach to the world along with a greater desire for routine and stability. Communication and intellect can be focused on more too. Observing others can be a big part of their new self and transition from Leo-Virgo. Finding one's self worrying more may happen. With this progression I want to emphasize the attention to others, the attention to detail, the attention to the self and to their life. Things come into focus.

Progressed Libra Ascendant: We see a continuation of focusing on others rather than the self but here it is about connecting and relating with others. One may become more aware of how others think and feel, they take fairness and objectivity into account. Caring about what other's think about them may be heightened. The view of the self can be balanced or they might lighten up on harshness or judgment towards themselves. Or sometimes self-perception can become a bit more shallow - ignoring faults, passion, intensity, any secret side, there can be a desire to come off as appealing, and creativity is important in understanding the self and relating the self to the world.This is also a time in one's life to learn cooperation and compromise. There can be a struggle internally between wanting to relax and take in the atmosphere, show social grace or practice peace and being driven, energetic, and active.

Progressed Scorpio Ascendant: It is interesting how after "stereotypical" light and airy Libra is the plunge to Scorpio. In all the cycles it goes from one end to the other. The self here wants more privacy from others, especially in the emotional sense. This can be a transition from connecting in the past to isolating OR moving from shallow connections to more intense and meaningful ones in their life. The self has become more interested in the depth of others and the depth of themselves. There is caution in how they approach the world now. They may find themselves more perceptive when they interact with others. This can be a time for empowering the self, honing intuition, and becoming more insightful. But the view of the world, others, the self can also be seen through an intensely fixed emotional filter. This may be a time of negative thinking, seeing the world in black and white, impulsive judgment, or extreme views. Even with the emotional currents internally there can be a sense of stability in how they come off to others and in their direction in life.

Progressed Sagittarius Ascendant: Adventure calls to this person now. There is more energy in their approach to the world and possibly a desire for freedom. This can be an impactful time for changing ideals and beliefs. One's mind may start to open OR they may discover a new belief to be passionate in. Being more excited about the world and others can happen. There is a great tug on improving one's self or going after new goals. This can be a time for new independence and the sacrifices it may take to be free, independent, or to go after their future. There may be new bravery in "being one's self". While there is a big focus on the carefree and positive side of Sagittarius in many blogs and articles, know this time period may be of huge risks. This can be a time where life forces them to listen, or where they realize possible irresponsible behavior, carelessness, selfishness, or that they don't always learn from their mistakes. This can be a time of many realizations and a time to work on their shortcomings. The self is focused on moving forward, exploring, and learning.

Progressed Capricorn Ascendant: Many talk about maturity, responsibility, and stability with this progressed Ascendant however "growing up" isn't exclusive to only those who reach this ascendant. This is a time period where the positive, carefree, maybe naive or youthful outlook of Sagittarius Ascendant becomes more serious, somber, or even negative. There is a greater understanding of reality, practicality, and even human nature in the most tangible, obvious sense. The dreams of Sagittarius are now taking shape with this ascendant. Ambition is focused on and one may finally come up with a plan on how to reach their goals. Excitement, passion, and openness from the past starts to get closed in. One learns to be more private and selective of who they share themselves with. There is skepticism in how they view the world and others. New fears, self-doubt, and negativity can also happen within this time period. It is important to tap into the hope and optimism of a natal Sagittarius Ascendant or the strength and understanding of a natal Scorpio Ascendant. This can be a time of restrictions or a time of great successes or both.

Progressed Aquarius Ascendant: While some placements I wrote about being a time to change beliefs or ideas, this is a time to change lifestyle and self! I've seen this described as breaking the chains from Capricorn Ascendant. I think that can be a bit harsh as great prosperity and important learning can happen in the time period before. There are still important strengths to a natal Capricorn Ascendant too. This is now an awakening from the traditional, routine, and possible negativity from the past. Any new ideas aren't just thoughts forming they become part of the self and actions. One starts to focus more on the collective, the political, social or civil subjects, humanity, trends, the world. There is an even deeper understanding of humanity and the world at large as well as a feeling of being connected to it all. Capricorn was about personal responsibility and now it is about responsibility to your fellow humans and maybe to the environment. This can be a time of radical changes for better or worse. Be careful of alienating loved ones or disconnecting from those who matter most. This is a personal revolution for the self and how one approaches EVERYTHING. But being brought back down to earth is important. There is an advantage for those who have natal Capricorn Ascendant, hopefully always keeping one foot on the ground. You never know which way the wind is going to blow. Many describe this as a time where people become more "green", progressive, or charitable. While the above sounds stereotypical Aquarius, changing the self radically can mean a number of big changes from becoming more fiscally aware to shutting in to more old-school beliefs to joining an unusual religion or do I dare say a cult. Typically there is an awareness that comes with this progressed ascendant that moves people towards caring about others on a large scale. They see the big picture in how the world can be improved. When it comes to the self this is a freeing time where they have an opportunity to truly feed their emotional, mental, and spiritual needs.

Progressed Pisces Ascendant: There is a common warning to this ascendant in that one might feel lost in their view of the world and view of the self. This can be a POWERFUL time for reshaping who you are. Intuition towards others and the outer world is heightened. Sensitivity, creativity, perception, and kindness all come to the forefront of the personality. There can be a vagueness in the expression of self now. One likely doesn't attach themselves to strong opinions. This can be a big moment for spirituality. Reconnecting with old beliefs or new ones. Tapping into religion, a new spiritual code, or just getting to know the soul can happen. Understanding the nature of emotions, the nature of emotional needs can be learned. Emotional and creative expression can have their moment to shine during this time period. Connecting with those who share similar creative talents, spirituality, or compassion can happen. Be mindful of those who pick up on this new sense of compassion and may use it. Also be mindful of helping those who don't want it, need it, or appreciate it - even if on a subconscious level.

#zodiac #astrology #progressed chart #ascendant #rising #progressed ascendant #secondary directions #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces

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that-scouse-wizard · 4 years ago

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David Willows MK 2

A/N: Just an updated version of David’s profile, complete with a few changes and a more in-depth description of certain characteristics. Hope you guys enjoy and if you’d like your MC to be friends with him, message me and let’s chat about it.

Some more things to note:

-Merula is not the mole.

-I’m using the female version of Rowan as David’s best friend because to hell with game restrictions. Also, she survives, at least... David’s Rowan does.

-Drastic alteration to the Quidditch storyline. Skye is in David’s year and a Gryffindor. Orion, Murphy and Erika are two years above David and are in Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Slytherin respectively. Also including Andre and Charlie while introducing Oliver Wood and Lee Jordan.

-It goes without saying but spoilers for my ideas. Some are kept deliberately vague and some aren’t covered entirely more so because I intend to write about it someday. Let me know what you guys think of those that are given though.

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General Information

Name: David Owen Willows (Formerly David Owen Hall, changed to mother’s maiden name in 1982).

Gender: Male

Age: 11-18 (1984-91), 19-25 (1992-98)

DOB: 30/03/1973

Species: Human

Blood status: Half-blood

Sexuality: Straight

Alignment: Chaotic Good

Ethnicity: White-British

Nationality: English (maternal side of family is Irish, paternal grandmother is Scottish, paternal grandfather and father are English).

Residence: Liverpool/ Lancaster (during his Hogwarts years and depending upon who he’s staying with).

Wimborne (during his career as a pro Quidditch player)

Hogsmeade (final place of residence after becoming Charms professor)

Myers Briggs Personality Type: ENFP, The Campaigner

Character summary: Though he may come across as stand-offish at first, David Willows is a friend as loyal as he is bull-headed. A student of Erika Rath, he became known as Hound on the Quidditch pitch for his relentless pursuit of opposing players. A skill in duelling and the muggle martial art of muay thai (also a pair of knuckledusters) ensures David is a formidable opponent with or without magic.

Personality:

Aggressive: While he tries to reign in his anger, David is known to have a short temper when it comes to certain taunts. Chief amongst them, comparing him to Jacob. In his early years he was even willing to physically fight much older students despite the clear difference in both size and strength.

Aloof: For all of his first year and a good portion of his second year, David isn’t the one to initiate a friendship (except for Chiara but that was when there was no one else to really talk to while spending a night in the Hospital Wing due to the Devil’s Snare incident). However, while undergoing his first time as a quidditch player, he’s taught by Penny how to be a bit more social at pre and post-match parties.

Artistic: David was taught by his mother Rue to draw in greyscale sketches, something he improves on during his time throughout Hogwarts. In the midst of Jacob’s disappearance, his parent’s divorce and especially the stress that comes at Hogwarts, drawing provided an escape for him. His favourite things to draw are people and creatures.

Competitive: This aspect of David tends to come out the most when it comes to sport. With Erika as his mentor, he nurtures a healthy sense of competition as well as a determination to best the other houses and put Hufflepuff on top when it comes to quidditch.

Courageous: Largely as a result of his loyalty, David is willing to throw himself headlong into danger. The Sorting Hat didn’t nearly put him in Gryffindor for no reason.

Determined: When David sets his mind to a goal, he wants to accomplish it to the best of his abilities. In the case of finding Jacob however, it led to a sort of tunnel-vision, one that was finally broken when Chauncy and Philip succumb to injuries sustained under the sleepwalking curse.

Empathetic: Throughout his years at Hogwarts, David starts to empathise with people in his life. Even in the case of Merula, he sees how lonely she must really be and tries to reach out to her on numerous occasions. If he doesn’t fully understand it, he’d like you to share your feelings with him, at your own behest of course.

Loyal: In spite of a prickly exterior at first, once you win David’s loyalty, he’ll return it ten-fold. The type of friend who would take a bullet for you.

Snarky: David has a sharp tongue, preferably he tries to shut down an argument with his wits. Only going for duelling when he feels it necessary. That being said, he isn’t shy about getting petty in a verbal spar, for example his response to Merula when first being taunted about Jacob supposedly teaming up with Voldemort: “At least that’s just a rumour, can’t say the same about your parents.”

Stubborn: A self-described ‘stubborn git’, David is quite notorious for not budging from his position once he thinks he has all the facts he needs. If he’s being especially difficult, just get Merula.

Appearance

Face Claim: Dave Franco (as an adult at least).

Voice Claim: Paul McCartney.

Game appearance:

Physique: Athletic, broad shouldered and fairly bulky as a result of weight training with Erika.

Hair Colour: Dark Brown

Hair style: Chin-length (1st-2nd year), crew cut (3rd-4th year), short but long enough to slick back (5th year-present).

Eye colour: Dark brown.

Height: 5′11″ (as of 6th year)

Weight: Approx 80kg (when fully grown)

Scarring: A few small ones sustained during duels and the occasional mishap in quidditch, mostly on his upper body with a few on his legs. Sustains a burn scar on the left side of his waist during the battle with R.

Body modifications: Get’s the phrase “You’ll never walk alone.” tattooed on his right bicep at eighteen. Later gets a ram skull tattoo on his upper back just between the shoulder blades at age twenty. Finally, gets a shepherd crook just below the ram skull tattoo at age twenty-one.

Inventory: His wand, a pair of knuckledusters, a sketchbook, a pencil case containing stationary.

Fashion: He trusts Andre’s advice on what looks good on him though knows what works for him and what doesn’t. Partly influenced by his musical tastes (mainly punk, and rock and roll), has a love of leather jackets and slightly ripped jeans.

Background/ History:

Pre-Hogwarts:

-David was born in Liverpool, living in the suburb of Allerton. One of his favourite things to do was play football with Jacob and his dad.

-His mum would teach him to draw, most often on rainy days.

-Close to both of his parents as a result but it all changed when Jacob disappeared. He knew Jacob and his parents had arguments after being expelled but hadn’t heard any of it on account of the use of a muffling charm. Furthermore, Rue and Matthew were driven apart, Matthew blaming Jacob’s change in attitude and eventual disappearance on magic in its entirety.

-Sometime after Jacob disappeared and when the general shitshow stirred up by the Daily Prophet had died down, it was settled that Rue and Matthew would divorce. Given that David would go to Hogwarts as well, they thought it would be best for David to take Willows as his surname, hopefully not being recognised as Jacob Hall’s brother.

-This was fruitless, Rita Skeeter caught wind of the proceedings and sensationalised them, exposing the name change in the process. The stress and grief caused both parents to distance themselves from David in some way. Rue threw herself into work and became even more strict with David’s freedom while Matthew just left.

-David however, was fighting his own battles, it became known at his muggle school about Jacob going missing as well as his parents divorcing. This caused him to become quite reclusive from his classmates and would lash out at anyone who said a bad word towards him, especially if it concerned his family drama. He lost any friends he did have and refused to make any more.

During Hogwarts

-Year 1: He first meets Rowan, even being introduced to her younger brother, Alder (basically male Rowan).

David, Rowan, Tonks, Diego, Chiara and Penny first begin to form what becomes known as the Hufflesquad.

Also befriends Ben and Charlie.

Angelica Cole takes him under her wing despite not being in the same house and even shows David a group of trolls she’s been tending to in preparation for her apprenticeship in training security trolls.

Meets the Booths during the Christmas break and despite a rocky start, begins to develop a positive relationship with them even coming to an understanding with his dad.

During one of his expeditions with Angelica, he’s confronted by Needle, an acromantula that previously belonged to Jacob.

Finally stands up to his mum properly, resulting in him staying with the Booths for the summer in Lancaster.

-Year 2: David meets those who are involved in the Quidditch scene at Hogwarts, including Erika Rath, who he briefly develops a crush on until he’s let down gently at the end of Year 2.

He duels Merula for a second time, winning once more, which makes her cry albeit in private. This then results in having his first encounter with Barnaby Lee, who confronts David about upsetting Merula. David tries to get past but Barnaby wraps his hands around David’s throat. Not actually choking him mind, more to get his attention. David panics as it reminds him of the Devil’s Snare that wrapped around his throat and lashes out at Barnaby.

David puts Barnaby in the hospital wing, much to the anger of Liz Tuttle.

The last Quidditch match for the House Cup between Hufflepuff and Slytherin is interrupted by the spread of the cursed ice. Ultimately resulting in Gryffindor’s victory in the cup for that year.

Rue comes back, mentioning how Corey Hayden (David’s American cousin in this AU) would like to transfer to Hogwarts.

Year 3: Amelia comes to Hogwarts as a first year and gets sorted into Hufflepuff. Similarly, Alder starts at Hogwarts and is sorted into Ravenclaw.

Amelia brings Dusty, her cat, along with her. However, Dusty goes missing shortly after arriving at the castle.

Later, in a COMC class, Barnaby mentions that he found a cat matching Dusty’s description. Initially, David is very suspicious to the extent of threatening Barnaby if he harmed Dusty in any way. Barnaby refutes this and returns Dusty to him unharmed, causing David to apologise for both for the accusation and the events that happened last year. Eventually, he even befriends Barnaby.

In a similar vein, when tending to some of his creatures on the reserve, he bumps into Liz and winds up introducing her to Needle. The two get a friendship going, David admiring Liz’s passion for creatures and Liz appreciating David for not finding her weird when she rambles about animals. To the extent that they go out on a few dates.

Close to the end of the year, he rants at Merula. Effectively asking the question of why she seems to hate him. Yet despite the rant he closes off with how he understands Merula, he’s been that lonely kid lashing out at the world and it’s not fun. Despite her reluctance to admit it, Merula knows David is right.

He gets the chance to verbally unload on Rita Skeeter for the articles she wrote about his family when she comes to the school looking to interview an interesting student. Later, several of his friends plus Merula of all people step in to put Skeeter in her place when she successfully provokes him into a fit of rage to make him look bad. The situation is eventually diffused by McGonagall.

Year 4:

Corey officially transfers to Hogwarts from Ilvermorny after exchanging letters with David throughout third year.

Though David wasn’t particularly close to them, Chauncy and Philip (two of his dormmates alongside Diego) succumb to injuries sustained when they were attacked by a red cap under the Sleepwalking curse. When he learns the truth of what attacked them, David slays the creature.

David starts to realise he has a crush on Merula after assisting her in casting Expecto Patronum. Later in the year, he takes her out on a date to Hogsmeade, gets her a songbook for Christmas and even takes her out to the Celestial Ball.

Merula’s parents are freed from Azkaban by R, her mother even meeting Merula in secret throughout the year. During one of their meet-ups, she has a hunch Merula is starting to develop a crush on David (something which is true but not something she would admit it at the time).

In order to eliminate this apparent threat to her family’s blood purity, she asks Merula to bring him to her in the Forbidden Forest under the guise of allowing the two of them to join R like she has. Instead, she subdues David with Petrificus Totalus, attempting to convince Merula to leave him, that David isn’t worth it.

Merula sides with David even though it pains her initially. David stays with her over the summer, where they try to figure out... whatever the hell their relationship is at the moment.

Year 5: Throughout this year he dates Merula in secret until Valentine’s Day. It’s here that she confesses she’s ready to have their relationship out in the open.

One of the most major event for David is Rakepick’s betrayal, he had actually grown fond of her as a mentor. Being stabbed in the back wasn’t a good thing for him.

The second is Jacob leaving immediately after David finds him. It’s hurtful and David becomes a bit reclusive for a while. Finally, he’s comforted by Bill, Orion and Erika, the older sibling figures in his life.

Year 6: Jacob returns, under the watchful eye of Alastor Moody, acting as the DADA teacher for that year. Naturally, there’s tension between the brothers, which eventually resolves.

Jacob does join David for the Christmas break, where he gets along well with the Booths and reunites with his parents.

As well as this, R attempts to come after Amelia, resulting in the death of Alder Khanna. As well as being a devastating loss, it causes a rough patch in David and Rowan’s relationship when in her grief she winds up shouting “I wish I’d never met you, David Willows!” She only realises what she just said when the words leave her mouth but regardless, it causes a fracture within David’s larger circle of friends.

Eventually, the time comes for when David, Jacob and their allies take on the vaults like they had always dreamed of. Together, they face off against the guardian of the Sunken vault, an Ammit (based on the creature of Ancient Egyptian Mythology). Eventually the beast is defeated and they claim the treasure of the vaults, what seems to be the base of a necklace.

In a celebration at the Three Broomsticks, R attacks and murders Jacob. This sends David spiralling into grief, hitting his truly lowest point. He worked so hard, he rebuilt his family at home and forged a new one at Hogwarts, all the while hoping Jacob would be able to join them. And what was it all for? Nothing.

Before the school year is up... he snaps his wand and runs away from Hogwarts. Not to Liverpool, not to Lancaster, just anywhere but there. It will keep his friends and family safe or so he reasons. Deep down though, he thinks it’s cowardly.

During this time, he finds his way to Glasgow and starts sleeping rough on the streets all the while battling with grief, anger and self loathing. This goes on for two months before Moody tracks him down, apparating him to a secluded area of the Scottish countryside, kicks his arse and talks him down. Taking him to Grimmauld Place afterwards with the intention of formulating a plan to take the fight to R.

Where he finds most of his remaining friends waiting for him. At first he staunchly refuses their help, feeling he’s already put enough people in danger. Yet they refuse to leave.

This is actually the moment where the Circle of Khanna is formed, this time named for Alder. Reconciling with Rowan after a serious heart-to-heart.

Year 7: ...Let’s just say R is going to regret setting David Willows on the warpath.

R’s destruction becomes widely regarded news, however David allows Moody to take the credit for it. Frankly, by this point he’s sick of any attachment to the Cabal and just wants to play Quidditch.

He’s able to pass his NEWTS and win the Quidditch cup for Hufflepuff one last time, resulting in him being offered the position as beater on the Wimborne Wasps.

Post-Hogwarts:

David and Merula work things out, moving in together. Though it’s odd with David still keeping at his Quidditch training and Merula now working for Gringotts as a curse-breaker. After winning the British and Irish League for the Wasps in 1993, he proposes to Merula which she accepts.

In 1994, they have a wedding in the summer time with Rowan being David’s best woman. They did plan on having kids until Cedric’s murder at the hands of Voldemort. With Quidditch cancelled and Merula being affiliated to Gringotts, both are approached to work for the Order.

Though initially very hesitant, David agrees. Eliminating Death Eaters, rescuing their hostages and even fighting in the Battle of Hogwarts.

He returns to the Quidditch scene when it starts up again in 1999, helping the Wasps win the cup three more times. 1999 is also the year in which Merula and David have their first kid, Robin. After the latest victory in 2002 he discovers Merula is pregnant again, and his retirement from Quidditch is looming on the horizon. He’s convinced by Judith Harris (@judediangelo75) to teach for a few weeks over the summer at KC’s (@kc-needs-coffee) quidditch summer camp. It’s here that he develops a love for teaching. Getting in touch with professor Flitwick to work as his assistant before becoming the Charms professor.

In early 2003, he welcomes his son Nicholas into the world.

Family

Matthew Hall (father):

Face Claim: Ben Miller

A stern but fair man and CIMA-qualified accountant originally from Yorkshire, Matthew met David’s biological mother Rue when he was on a business trip to Dublin in 1956. Encountering her in a quiet pub being told “I’ve dealt with a real dragon today” when he asked if she was okay on account of how tired she looked. Matthew took it as a joke but Rue was being entirely serious. They struck up a friendship and began dating, eventually getting married in 1961 and having Jacob in 1964.

initially, he was fascinated by the existence of the wizarding world but soon came to fear it after Jacob’s disappearance. Divorcing Rue afterwards and cutting off contact from David aside from agreeing to send child maintenance. However, after being chewed out by his girlfriend Lyra, he all but begs David to come visit him in Lancaster over Christmas in 1984.

The reason being that Amelia’s magical abilities finally began to manifest, which became a cause of conflict between David and Matthew, largely from David thinking that was the only reason he was invited. Eventually, they come to an understanding and try to work on improving their relationship.

Rue Willows (mother):

Face Claim: Fiona O’Carroll

A dragonologist from Dublin in the employ of the Dragon Research and Restraint Bureau. Though she was strict, she was generally attentive towards David, being the one who taught him to draw.

After Jacob’s disappearance however, she became very withdrawn and austere. It was her way of opting for a ‘tough love’ approach, thinking she had been too soft and in her misguidance tried to control David’s life. Even then, she still grieved, frequently getting into arguments with David about his behaviour at school, bringing up Jacob when David tried to make her proud of him and other such things.

During the start of the summer break between first and second year, David finally stands up to her properly. The words that get through to her are the following, “That stranger’s name is Lyra and she’s been a better mum to me in the weeks I’ve known her than you have for me in years.” and “I love you too mum... but I don’t know if I like you anymore.”

She does a lot of soul searching after that, staying with relatives in America for a year before coming back and promising to do better with her and David’s relationship.

Lyra Booth (nee Robinson) (step-mother):

Face Claim: Ruth Wilson

A muggle and CIMA-qualified accountant originally from London, left widowed in 1980 after her first husband, Peter died in a car accident. She met Matthew when working at an accounting firm in Lancaster shortly after his divorce from Rue. After a couple months of knowing each other, the two began dating, Lyra introduced him to her children, who he hit it off well with.

She knew he had a son who he sent child maintenance to but it wasn’t revealed until Amelia accidentally made a plant pot explode in a fit of frustration that Lyra learned the truth. Consequently... she blew up at Matthew for as good as abandoning as his son. Insisting on inviting him around for Christmas.

While David was prickly when he first came around, he eventually warmed up to her and the rest of the Booths, being a positive maternal influence on him.

Jacob Hall (brother) (deceased):

Face Claim: Tom Holland

David’s only biological sibling, a gifted though trouble-making student, first became interested in the cursed vaults during his first year when he was informed about the legend by seventh year Patricia Rakepick. In his sixth year, he stood up for fellow Gryffindor Angelica Cole when she was being bullied (at the time she was a first year).

His investigation into the vaults would put him into conflict with the mysterious cult known as R. A conflict that would put his family in danger and even cost him his life.

Alex Booth (step-brother):

Face Claim: Jody Latham

The eldest of the Booth siblings, Alex is a highly protective big brother and was worried upon realising his little sister was going to be part of a world none of them had any knowledge about. He tried to make David feel welcome despite the younger boy’s hostility.

When David attempted to run away during his first stay with the Booths, Alex caught him in the act and made a deal, get past him and he wouldn’t tell anyone he’d left. Though David was tenacious, Alex stopped him every time even pointing out the flaws in David’s technique if he tried to physically fight Alex. After David finally gave up, Alex didn’t breathe a word of his run away attempt to anyone. David would take up Alex’s offer to teach him muay thai during his first visit.

Sarah Booth (step-sister):

Face Claim: Emilia Clarke

The middle child of the Booth siblings and also the least welcoming, Sarah was most vocally against Amelia being part of the wizarding world. She treated David coldly at first, going on a grouse hunting trip with her friends the day after he arrived to stay with them for Christmas.

However, at some point, she caught him reading an old copy of a Shooting Times magazine and after some persuasion by Alex, took David clay pigeon shooting. Becoming quite impressed, and even a little endeared from how quickly he picked up shooting.

Amelia Booth (step-sister):

Face Claim: Maisie Williams

A muggleborn witch and the youngest of the Booth siblings, Amelia was surprised to realise she possessed magical abilities. Though was even more shocked to learn Matthew already knew about it.

When she was five years old, she was involved in the car accident that killed her father. Resulting in her being scarred with a gash on the right side of her forehead, a similar one on her left cheek and a larger one that cuts across from shoulder to her chest. Though she repressed the memory, she did indeed see her father die, thus Thestrals are visible to her. Another thing the accident did was give her motorphobia, though can tolerate it as long as she’s A) In control of the vehicle and B) It’s not motorised.

However, she does have a love of cycling, she was taught to do so by her dad before he died. Similarly, gymnastics helped her get some of her confidence back after the accident and still keeps up with it. A love of plants and animals prompts her to excel in Herbology and Potions, then later COMC.

Allegiances

Hogwarts House: Hufflepuff

Affiliations: The Circle of Khanna, The Wimborne Wasps, The Order of the Phoenix, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Professions: Beater for the Wimborne Wasps (1991-95)

Agent of the Order of the Phoenix (1995 - 98)

Resumes position as beater for the Wasps (1999-2003)

Charms Assistant Teacher (2003 - 05)

Charms Teacher (2005 - present)

Hogwarts Information

Class Proficiencies:

Astronomy: E

Charms: O

DADA: O

Herbology: E

History of Magic: A

Potions: A

Transfiguration: E

Electives:

Care of Magical Creatures: A

Muggle Studies: O

Quidditch:

Hufflepuff Beater (1985 - 91)

Hufflepuff Captain (after Orion graduates) (1989 - 91)

Extra Curricular:

Duelling Club (Becomes known as one of the best duellers in Hogwarts)

Art Club

Football Club (Founder)

Apparition Class (in 1991)

Favourite Professors:

Professor Sprout, his head of house and someone he feels he can go to if he needs advice. One of several people who warned him about being careful with Patricia Rakepick.

Professor Mcgonagall, his Transfiguration teacher and head of Jacob’s house when he was at Hogwarts. Though they disagree entirely on him tackling the vaults, he always pays attention in her lessons as while she’s often stern she can be a great teacher.

Professor Flitwick, as his Charms teacher, David always found Flitwick to be respectable. David especially respects Flitwick for teaching him Expelliarmus, even after he was honest in what he intended to do with it (i.e. use it in a duel against Merula). Also came for Flitwick’s help in developing Cometa.

Least Favourite Professors:

Professor Binns: Finds his droning entirely too boring and really only passed History of Magic thanks to Rowan.

Every other professor he’s either neutral on (Snape and Trelwany) or he likes but aren’t his favourites (Kettleburn).

Best Canon friends:

Rowan Khanna

Diego Caplan

Nymphadora Tonks

Penny Haywood

Chiara Lobosca

(David plus the above five make up the original members of the Hufflesquad)

Bill Weasley

Charlie Weasley

Erika Rath

Orion Amari

Badeea Ali

Barnaby Lee

Liz Tuttle

Love interest:

Erika Rath (crush)

Nymphadora Tonks (first kiss)

Liz Tuttle (dated briefly in third year but broke things off fairly amicably when they realised they were developing crushes on other people).

Merula Snyde (began dating in fourth year, later marries David in 1994)

Best MC friends:

Judith Harris (@judediangelo75): The closest of his MC friends, David and Judith first get acquainted by being pushed into friendship... somewhat subtly by Penny Haywood. Both of them catch on when Penny mentions they should try out for the Quidditch team. Both of them still go for it, bonding over a shared love of martial arts and proving they have the potential to be fearsome beaters.

Throughout their time at Hogwarts, David and Judith would demonstrate a fierce loyalty to each other, being as close as siblings. David even becoming godfather to her children, Bakari and Kendrick.

Cato Reese (@catohphm): David was first introduced to Cato by Penny. The two find themselves sharing very similar values, having a great love their friends and absolute ruthlessness towards their enemies.

Like anyone involved in the Quidditch scene at Hogwarts, David has a bit of a rivalry with him. Tending to trash talk him (though with no real weight behind it), Cato understands that David doesn’t mean it.

Katriona Cassiopea (KC) (@kc-needs-coffee): The two of them are sports fanatics, they could talk to each other for hours about Quidditch. While David definitely knows more about footy, he’s eager to learn about any sport, such as baseball which KC is highly knowledgeable about.

KC would be one of the first to jump at the football matches David organises during his time at Hogwarts.

Lizzie Jameson (@lifeofkaze): Like David, Lizzie is an avid fan of LFC. Even meeting up at some point with their respective partners to watch a footy match at Anfield, where Liverpool were playing.

On the quidditch pitch, Lizzie is a chaser and knows she can count on David to keep the bludgers off her back.

If any of your MCs would want to be friends with David, let me know!

Rivals:

Merula Snyde (For most of his time at Hogwarts).

During Quidditch: Erika Rath, Skye Parkin, Andre Egwu, Charlie Weasley, Angelica Cole, Oliver Wood, Cato Reese and Katriona Cassiopea.

Enemies:

R (including Patricia Rakepick, Fenrir Greyback and Peter Pettigrew).

The Snyde family (minus Merula)

Voldemort

Death Eaters

Magical Abilities

1st Wand: Blackthorn, unicorn hair core, ten and a quarter inches, slightly springy and flexible. Snaps it in half shortly just before the end of sixth year, citing, “What kind of warrior can’t even protect his own brother?”

Blackthorn, which is a very unusual wand wood, has the reputation, in my view very well-merited, of being best suited to a warrior.

Unicorn hair generally produces the most consistent magic, and is least subject to fluctuations and blockages. Wands with unicorn cores are generally the most difficult to turn to the Dark Arts. They are the most faithful of all wands, and usually remain strongly attached to their first owner, irrespective of whether he or she was an accomplished witch or wizard. Minor disadvantages of unicorn hair are that they do not make the most powerful wands (although the wand wood may compensate) and that they are prone to melancholy if seriously mishandled, meaning that the hair may ‘die’ and need replacing.

2nd Wand: English Oak, Dragon Heartstring core, twelve and a half inches, unbending.

A wand for the good times and bad, this is a friend as loyal as the wizard who deserves it. Wands of English Oak demand partners of strength, courage and fidelity. Obtained from Garrick Ollivander while being accompanied by Alastor Moody.

As a rule, dragon heartstrings produce wands with the most power, and which are capable of the most flamboyant spells. Dragon wands tend to learn more quickly than other types. While they can change allegiance if won from their original master, they always bond strongly with the current owner. The dragon wand tends to be easiest to turn to the Dark Arts, though it will not incline that way of its own accord. It is also the most prone of the three cores to accidents, being somewhat temperamental.

Animagus form: A ram, specifically of a Dalesbred Sheep. Rams symbolise determination, initiative and leadership, factors that are put to the test more than once during his time at Hogwarts.

Misc magical abilities: Legilimens, Rue informs him of potentially inheriting her legilimens ability between third year and fourth year when he tells her of his delve into the Vault of Fear. David prefers not using it on people, rather using it to see through the eyes of animals as his great grandfather Reuben used to do.

Occlumency: Snape, at Dumbledore’s behest begins teaching David the art of Occlumency in fifth year.

Non-verbal magic: David began learning the non-verbal use of magic in fifth year thanks to professor Flitwick. Becoming highly skilled in it by his seventh year.

Spell creation: Assists in the creation of Stella Cascadia alongside Badeea Ali. Given how dangerous the vaults could be, he begins to work on another spell inspired by Stella Cascadia alongside several of his friends, Cometa, the comet jinx.

Boggart Form: Initially, Jacob as a death eater after hearing about the rumours of him taking Voldemort’s side.

From year four onwards, himself as a dark wizard as he worries about the path the vaults will set him on.

Riddikulus Form: Death eater Jacob’s mask turns into a pie that promptly splats him in the face.

Later, his dark wizard self in the uniform of Everton Football Club with a blue clown nose and wig to match. Since he’s a Liverpool Football Club supporter, seeing himself in one his rival team’s colours as a clown is hilarious to him.

Amortentia (what do they smell like?): A sea breeze and heather.

Amortentia (what do they smell?): Freshly mown grass and clear air after a rainfall.

Patronus: African wild dog, a symbol of his loyalty and relentless pursuit of his goals.

Patronus memory: -Attending the LFC vs Nottingham Forest semi final match of the Football League Cup at Anfield on the 12th February 1980 with his dad and Jacob. They drew 1-1 and LFC didn’t get through to the final but David was still happy to be there with both them.

Mirror of Erised: Jacob being back, alongside all of his friends and family. All of them are safe and well.

Specialised/ favourite spells:

Cometa, a spell that David creates in sixth year with the help of Badeea Ali, Rowan Khanna, Merula Snyde, Diego Caplan and professor Flitwick. Inspired by Stella Cascadia, and using some principles from the Ice Jinx, the spell initially creates cricket ball-sized pieces of ice that explode into a mist when they impact against something. This makes it especially useful for blinding or disorienting a target. Later they develop the more-powerful Cometa Maxima in seventh year. Its main limitations are maintaining eye contact directed at the target (as is the case for all jinxes) and its general range is quite short (about twenty five feet) due to the “comet” (really a mix of ice, dust and gases) disintegrating quite quickly.

Protego Diabolica, A spell taught to him by Felix Rosier in sixth year, nothing says “Get away from my friends!” Like a massive wall of blue flame that incinerates enemies and leaves allies unharmed.

Expelliarmus, the Disarming charm taught to David by Professor Flitwick in first year is one of his go-to spells when duelling.

Protego, learned in order to protect himself from spells and other projectiles.

Healing spells: Largely taught to him by Chiara throughout their time at Hogwarts, healing spells have come in handy more than once when he needs to preserve his own or his friend’s lives.

Expecto Patronum, though niche, a spell that can get rid of a dementor is nothing to scoff at. Plus it’s a sentimental reminder of his friendship with Tonks.

Incendio, good as a fire-starter and a duelling spell, also reminds him of a time when Merula stood up to Rita Skeeter for him by burning her camera.

Misc Information

-David is a huge supporter of Liverpool Football Club (LFC), so much so one of his casuals is a club uniform.

-As well as Needle, David has other creatures on the reserve, Lucky (Knarl), Clop (Porlock), Bonita (fairy), Mori (thestral), and Chen (Chinese fireball).

#harry potter hogwarts mystery #hphm #jacob's sibling #david willows #hphm mc

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leutik · 4 years ago

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Literature between Political Correctness and Cancel Culture

(Analyzed through Walter Siti, Natalie Wynn and Rick DuFer.)

(buckle up, because if you're gonna read this, it's gonna be long)

«Today is much easier to mistake an author’s personal stances with the content of their works, and then make the author pay for the work’s sins.

Today I look around and I have the sensation that literature is no longer taken seriously: that the way to interpret literature the way I knew it, depth-focused, focused on the power of words to reveal truths otherwise concealed to their own author, is disappearing — substituted by a conception of literature that has to serve a list of good causes.

When some writers of the “neo-effort” (Siti’s neologism) insist on the fact that words are decisive, and that it’d be urgent to change the words in order to change reality, I’m suddenly reminded of those old Marxist authors: they explained that the structure, which is what lays under society, determines what lays upon it, that is words and ideology. Thus, changing the name of something doesn’t change the thing the word stands for at all.

Literature has been considered throughout time the most indicated form to make resurface the part of ourselves — often, the least pleasant — that we’ve exiled in the shadows of our subconscious: a process that often happens without the author’s acknowledgement of it.

The authors of the neo-effort believe they have the duty to spread their ideas to the largest possible number of people and that, in order to do so, they have to simplify as much as they can what they write, sacrificing on the altar of efficiency the style, considered useless. The aim is to do good, namely gain an effect, what does it matter if it’s good or bad literature? Literature used to “take root”, to influence; put at the service of pre-established ideas, and not to venture into the discovery of something we don’t know yet. This way, it gains an ancillary role. And it’s a humiliation of literature — which can truly be useful, instead, only then it hurts.

Sartre’s “Nausea” doesn’t align with his political stances. For Sartre, the effort was the individual reflection of a society in perennial revolution, substantially a school of liberty, whilst for neo-effort the role of literature is to reassure.

Their attitude, their rejection of style, their low consideration of literature, tends to isolate the good writers out there, marginalizing them in a niche that looks like a convention of obsessed aesthetes in the public’s eyes.

I see it in the writing courses I teach: more and more young people whose main interest isn’t to write to learn something about themselves or society, but it’s to write to gain the title of writer and place themselves on the market, detecting the most profitable sector at the moment, which might be fantasy, crime, or effort-centred writing: it doesn’t matter, what matters is for it to be trending and to be reassuring to the reader, in a more and more therapeutic conception of writing.

Literature isn’t immediately therapeutic, this is the difference. When “The Sorrows of Young Werther” was published, copies of this book were burnt, because of the suicides it inspired. Today we read it at school. How much time has passed? I don’t refuse knowledge’s benefit, I refuse that knowledge can benefit instantly, painlessly. When I went to a psychoanalyst to face my neurosis, the psychoanalyst made me suffer for months, and only after I took benefit from it. What would have happened if they had welcomed me with a pat on the back and said “Don’t worry, stop thinking and go help African children”. Probably I would have had an immediate benefit, but all my neurosis would have stayed there, intact.

The Literature I talked to you about is depth-centred, and literature hasn’t always existed: thus it can disappear, sink for many years. Who said that it’ll survive, despite everything?

In Pasolini’s trial he was acquitted because Ungaretti was called to testify. He wrote a letter where he wrote that the formal value of Pasolini’s work turned into literature even those scenes that the prosecution deemed obscene. Law couldn’t do anything but recognize the critical judgement and welcome it. Web’s tribunal, today, would have burned Pasolini at the stake, and Ungaretti with him.» (via Walter Siti’s interview with the Huffingtonpost)

In other words, we can summarize Siti’s view with the sentence «novels aren’t the cure to the world’s evils.» They aren’t, because they don’t have the power to be, and more so they aren’t even supposed to be: writing is a form of art, and art has primarily an end in itself. Literature isn’t a political marketplace, even if it can be used to be — it’s not a crime to turn it into one, but by doing so, one loses Literature’s nature. By doing so, the harm could be mistake literature’s primary aim (that is being a form of art, that is style, that is the pursuit of the truth) with what they turned literature into: a marketplace to defend the author’s ideology.

Siti’s powerful image of the Web’s tribunal, the Web’s court finds an echo in Natalie Wynn video Canceling: in a sense, what Siti calls “neo-effort writers” fall under the same line of thoughts of Cancel Culture perpetrators.

«Like the guillotine, [cancelling] can become a sadistic entertainment spectacle.

Now there's a version of this conversation that's already been had to death, and it goes like this: On the one side are a bunch of male comedians who constantly bitch about how Cancel Culture is out of control, you can't joke about anything anymore without these Millennial jackals trying to get you in trouble.

And the other side is mostly progressive think-piece authors who argue that there's no such thing as cancel culture, it's just that powerful people are finally being held accountable for their actions and they can't fucking handle it, so they go around bitching about cancel culture.

Now unfortunately, neither of those viewpoints is quite as correct as some people might hope.

What Cancel Culture does, [is to] take one story and transform it into a significantly different story.

Presumption of Guilt

There's a traditional understanding of justice according to which, before you condemn or punish a person, you hear the accuser's side of the story and the accused's side of the story. You allow both sides to present evidence and only after everyone involved has had a chance to make their case do you pass judgment and punish the convict.

But cancelling does not abide by the law. Cancelling is a form of vigilante mob justice. And a lot of times, an accusation is proof enough.

Abstraction

Abstraction replaces the specific, concrete details of a claim with a more generic statement.

Essentialism

Essentialism is when we go from criticizing a person's actions to criticizing the person themselves. We're not just saying they did bad things. We’re saying they’re a bad person.

Pseudo-Moralism or Pseudo-Intellectualism

Moralism or intellectualism provide a phony pretext for the call-out. You can pretend you just want an apology; you can pretend you're just a “concerned citizen” who wants the person to improve. You can pretend you're simply offering up criticism, when what you're really doing is attacking a person's career and reputation out of spite, envy, revenge.

No Forgiveness

Cancelers will often dismiss an apology as insincere, no matter how convincingly written or delivered. And of course, an insincere apology is further proof of what a Machiavellian psychopath you really are.

Now sometimes, a good apology will calm things down for a while. But the next time there's a scandal, the original accusation will be raised again as if you never apologized.

The Transitive Property of Cancellation

Cancellation is infectious. If you associate with a cancelled person, the cancellation rubs off. It's like gonorrhoea, except doxycycline won't save you this time sweetie.» (via Natalie Wynn's Canceling video transcript)

Natalie Wynn describes and formalizes the phenomenon of Cancel Culture in those steps:

I only listen to the presumed victim,

I abstract the context to a vague idea,

I equate the action to the actor’s very essence (as if such thing even existed),

I say I’m acting in favour of morals or truth,

I accuse every person the presumed abuser ever came in contact with to be an abuser as well,

and I either reject every form of apology at the moment, or bring up the issue as if no apology was ever made at their first misstep.

Now, in this post I’m not trying to perpetrate any concept of charity, not only because it’s an attitude that takes a lot of work to inherit, but also because the negative aspects that might bring one to be a neo-effort writer or a Cancel Culture perpetrator are part of the very human nature (or, very stupidly, they wouldn’t be humans.)

The self-evidence rises here: those negative parts of human nature can be channelled everywhere, and literature or any other form of art is the healthiest way to do so: you’re not going to get rid of your anger, or your sadness — the best thing you can do is learn to control it and suppress it, but how is it going to work in the long run? It’s going to act past your good judgement, or even cloud your good judgement, clouding it into thinking you’re defending some pseudo-moralism or pseudo-intellectualism, when what you’ll be doing is just venting on someone else.

This is one way to see it: when one forgets what proper thinking is and falls into those quick and gut-feeling “thoughts”. Or one could even take advantage of this Cancel Culture, of this ground of poor thinking to instrumentalize this lack of critical judgement to attack someone else.

On instrumentalization and its dangers, Rick DuFer says:

«Political correctness works when its aim is to protect the weak from abusers, but when it favours every little susceptible sensitivity it turns dangerous.» (via Rick DuFer’s podcast DailyCogito)

Rick DuFer talks about a shared responsibility that happens during offence: shared between the offender and the offended. The problem with offence, as opposed to harm, is that it isn’t quantifiable, so the offender is guilty in regard to their intentions, and the offended is guilty in regard to the instrumentalization they can enact with the situation.

And again we find “instrumentalization”: if one destroys my property, I can quantify the damage, but if one insults me, how can I quantify how offended I truly am? This is when I can twist one person’s words and turn them into an offender, this is when sensitivity becomes a mask and no longer a virtue (or, for the toxic masculinity’s thought, a vice.)

Now, to wrap things up:

These people take the (s)word of this school of thought (which some other dichotomists may, generalizing it, call it “Strong Thought” or “Unique Thought”), perhaps without even knowing there’s an alternative, while there are multiple, actually: as many as the human beings right now populating Earth.

They may do it out of a dualistic and very childish view of society — divided into good and bad people. And if that’s your view of life, you’re not gonna want to be associated with who others deem as bad, following a gut feeling and nothing more. (And I say “gut feeling” to avoid saying “very poor thinking”, because that’s what absolutization, essentialism, and the rest is.)

Your thoughts aren’t really yours, and you become a vessel for something that belongs to someone else, someone who crafted those thoughts in a very different context, or with instrumentalization in mind. You don’t want to risk criticizing those thoughts because you don’t want to be isolated, or because you’re a sane person who deems it important to act rightfully (even if you’re letting others tell you what “right” is.)

And for how problematic moral relativism is, it surely is better than any form of absolutization: better than rejecting your status as “sapiens” and stopping thinking altogether, passively accepting what others taught you to be right and wrong, maybe even out of fear, or a stupid rush for glory and sympathy.

So I wouldn’t call this moral relativism, strictly, but rather moral subjectivism, or context-centred morality. A morality in which people still have a brain to separate a piece of work from an author’s ideology (against essentialism) and to still take into account the context in which an action was performed (against abstraction). A morality in which “good” and “wrong” aren’t seen in black and whites, but rather into lighter and darker greys; a morality which systematic use can slowly dress into the habit of charity towards one another, into kind teaching rather than cruel instrumentalization.

And is it really utopistic, is it really unfeasible, if we’re not falsely annihilating the suffering and the negative parts of the Human Experience?

This whole discourse could be turned into a political marketplace of rights and lefts, of conservatives and progressivists — but my aim here is much smaller (or bigger, if one is a humanist): to make the reader question their critical thinking, and just that.

(We love some self-doubt.)

I believe moral acts aren’t supposed to be a badge to share on one’s vest — to renew your status as “approachable person” (as if saying “don’t worry, you can talk to me, you’re not going to be deemed as bad for it”) or to be praised for. Moral acts are the only acts that raise humans from other species, the acts where the “sapiens” shows its evolution, the acts where our negative aspects aren’t hidden but channelled into arts, without the fear that someone might call us bad for it. (Immoral, even, whilst acting in the most moral way possible, exorcising those negative parts of us in the least harmful way possible.)

So, at the end of this unnecessary rant, my question is: is it better to be a minion in a culture where you have to watch your mouth, as if it wasn’t yours, or to be a person who’s engaged in researching how right and wrong truly manifest?

#the first and last sources are in italian #i did my best translating them #rant #philosophy #literature #cancel culture #cancelled #politically correct #controversial #opinion #thoughts #very open to discuss civilly

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galaxythreads · 4 years ago

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Suggestions on how to improve fanfic writing:

I was talking with @angelfishofthelord recently (not that recent, time is a concept that escapes our collective grasp) and I jokingly suggested that I make this post. I am in the middle of an insomnia night, so. Here be us.

Characters use the same nicknames and phrases inside their head as speaking. This doesn’t necessarily mean they’re sharing the humor they’re speaking. I.g.: For SPN, I see a lot of people write Dean as a little careless in his POVs, because that’s just how he portrays himself, but Dean, I think, while having a dark sense of humor, isn’t actually very funny in his head. Same goes for MCU and Tony Stark. Funny characters does not always equal happy head space. :)

Nicknames--this used to bother me to no end, because nicknames were never something in my family, and people shortening down the names felt wrong. But you nickname what you love. If someone has given a nickname (and not in mockery) to a character, chances are, they call them that in their head. Like in MCU Clint calling Natasha "Nat", or SPN Dean and Sam calling Cas "Cas" however, with that said, unless the nickname is self chosen, most people will use their full name when narrating. Castiel, Natasha, etc.

Headcanons! This is going to sound a little backwards, but headcanons have always helped me sort between characters. I know that some fic authors are very against headcanons, but to me, you HAVE to make these characters and their world your own, at least a little. You need to understand how their brain functions, and headcanons are a wonderful, wonderful way to do that. So long as you can conceivably fit them into canon, I think you’re good. One of the ones I have about SPN Cas is that he doesn’t actually give off body heat, so he’s constantly room temperature. It’s a detail for people that’s not Cas’s POV to notice. So getting some headcanons like that will help differentiate between POVs because it’s different things for characters to acknowledge.

Mimic writing that you admire. (And ask yourself WHY you like it) I really, really love the way that TFW/avengers team is portrayed in some stories, in others, I’m like “meh.” Write to please yourself, first and foremost, on how to read these characters thoughts. Those who agree with you will flock to be your audience, and they’re who matter.

Language/word choice is really important for POV change. Again, people talk like how they think.

POV change? Treat the character whose POV it is like they are THE most important person in existence. Their reactions get a front seat. Their five senses are your concern. What they notice about a character may not be true, but it's what they notice. They are human, not omniscient, ergo, they'll get things wrong. Even if the story is written with a completely different character in mind, this character is still the most important. POV's time to think, talk, panic, angst, express, etc. That chapter was about how they felt. That’s why sometimes, even if I really do want them to talk or something, a character might think “please don’t say xyz” because THEY don’t want that, and how I feel as an author isn’t relevant here. Remembering that they’re human, and need time to process/react to things is huge.

Practice, practice, practice. It does get easier with time, and effort. I promise. All of you would laugh at my first few weeks of diving into fandoms. That stuff is garbage.

Conscious stream of thought is generally the best way to engage readers, and the most enjoyable. This is how we immerse ourselves into the story. We become a part of it because we follow their thinking. It is always ideal to start where you are the most comfortable, whether that's 3rd omniscient, 2nd person, etc, but, in my opinion, you don't get that true "click" with the characters until you've conscious stream of thought them.

Research. Lots of research. Don't know how long battieres could last in 2002? Look it up. Don't know how to do stitches? Google it. Try to avoid making things up.

Look guys. Everyone understands that you are most likely NOT a doctor or have any semblance of a medical degree. This is fiction. Research what you can, and move forward carefully or vague it out with the rest. The worst that can happen is someone correcting information you got wrong.

Please, please, please stay within the range of human limitation. (Or whatever creature/being you are writing for) You can't lose more than five pints of blood. You CAN die from pain. Infection spreads quickly. I'm sorry. I just. Have read so many fics from newbie writers who push their characters past extremes that is almost impossible. You want to hurt them that bad, break a bone or something. Just. Please try to be realistic. (Don't misunderstand here, I love me some well-done whump.)

Again with the "you are not a professional thing." Those diagnosed with mental illnesses know that you may not be writing from true experience. This is okay. But please, please do not avoid using any words or phrases common with the illness as you try to "vaguely" write it. The more authentic you are, the less likely you will offend someone. Look. I would be so frustrated if someone tried to write about an ED and just... Avoided words like "starve" "binge" and "hungry" because they didn't want to trigger me. Like. Sweeties, I appreciate the thought, I do, but it's more frustrating that you can't even SAY it than actually putting it into your writing. So. Please just. If you're going to write about a mental illness, do so with the intent to WRITE it, not skirt around the bush.

With that, if you are not diagnosed with the mental illness your writing for (or suspect that you have some form of it) that's okay! Google symptoms to get a basic idea, and search for first hand accounts. People's experience is a lot different than the definition. For example, some of the most hilarious people I know are severally depressed, and Google will just tell you they are sad.

Write write and write. You are building a skill. You have to practice that skill frequently.

Do not be afraid to ask for feedback. Betas are wonderful. Asking for advice is wonderful. Being too shy and afraid of criticism for asking for help is perfectly okay. (Hello fellow traveler)

If your search history doesn't have you being watched by government organizations in the next few months, you aren't researching enough. ;)

Take your time. Quality over quantity. Do NOT conform to the update fairy that demands updates frequently. Look. I love my readers. I do. But you HAVE to take your time to finish things in order for them to be worth reading. If this is six hours or six years, that's that.

Do not give everything away. Stop answering questions. We keep reading because we have unanswered questions. Anticipation = good. Knowing everything at once: bad.

Do not put in funny for the sake of funny.

Insults should be insulting, not make people want to cringe and duck their heads.

Dialog should serve as people communicating... Like actual people.

Siblings (unless otherwise said so by canon) DO NOT address each other as "bro" and "sis"

Not a native English speaker? Cool. Natives would love to help you learn their language. :) English grammar sucks.

Analogies should make sense. They should flow smoothly into the writing. If they pop out, you've lost the attention of your writers.

please, please don't glorify rape, racism, homophobia, mental illness shaming/glorification, abuse, sexism, and other crappy things. Thanks. People came for a story, not to get their souls crushed.

#fanfiction #fanfics #fanfic writing

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dream-realm · 4 years ago

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thoughts on overcoming self victimisation? especially if you have actually been victimised as a child

This is tough to answer, because of course there are relevant differences between kinds of victimizations. To take one example, in degree. Light bullying, say, might be a kind of victimization, but it’s differs in kind and degree from something like sexual abuse.

Actually, I’m unsure how to gloss over these and say something more general, because self-victimization might mean a) victim mentality, or b) habitually victimizing yourself by, e.g. putting yourself in situations where you’ll get hurt or feel bad, knowingly or not. And it could be both a) and b). Given little detail, I’ll just say something very general - and off the top of my head - about some vague combination of a) and b), and hopefully that’ll be at least a bit interesting or helpful.

Here’s how I increasingly treat it in my own life. Everyone wants you to be a loser, to hate yourself, to feel bad about yourself and everything you do. Even when they don’t say it, they act as if. Culturally, socially, etc. It’s so easy to be a victim, to see yourself that way, as someone always owed something that can never truly be replayed. The fact that taking up this attitude is so easy and tempting is suggestive. Doesn’t it feel good, not blissful or fulfilling, but good to lean into that, to submit yourself to a life of grievance? You never have to do anything, to impress anyone, to improve, to make changes. You don’t have to be a person anymore. You don’t have to recognize yourself, or anyone else, as worth anything. You never have to live up to any standard - the bar moves in tandem with what’s “owed” you.

I wasn’t “victimized” as a child, but for other reasons, I know how good it feels not to be a person, to check-out morally, practically, mentally. You never have to be responsible for anything or accountable to anyone. You imagine conditions in which you’d be a person like everyone else, able to do what they do. Luckily, those conditions never describe your world. Maybe this is too cold an approach to mean anything to anyone else, but it’s the only thing that’s ever felt true to me or motivated me despite the temptation of claiming victim-status and indulging in the corresponding negative behavior. It’s too hard to recognize that, maybe things just suck, are lackluster, maybe the people in your life are or were just plain bad. Maybe it’s not a grand, cosmic, socio-political, quasi-religious drama in which you’ve been wronged in a way that entitles you to eternal complaint. Maybe the imaginary narrative where everyone gets their due is misconceived, if not conceptually, then practically, as a guide to life.

The impulse to sensationalize these things is addict behavior. It’s a defense mechanism to prevent you from breaking and encountering yourself. Again, I don’t know if any of this resonates, but I’ve been in that mindset, was for years, and am trying to overcome it and never return. Doesn’t it suck to be a real person? Yes. No one cuts you the slack you think you’re owed. It’s the end of the world to realize that this sense of “owed” isn’t intelligible. Be a real person. After a while, it feels spiritually lighter. Stop short-changing yourself. It’s childish. It’ll feel better to abstain from that behavior and allow the entrenched image of yourself as a victim to fade. Everything good is uncomfortable. Get the chip off your shoulder and recognize that others endure and never bitch about it, nor do they repress it. Stop resenting people. Watch how disgusting others are who do. You can dm if you want. I have no idea whether it means anything, because understandably you were vague. This is how I think of it for myself at least.

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mdelpin · 4 years ago

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The Red Dragon (Chapter 31)

AO3 | FF.Net | Tumblr: Ch1 | Ch30

Chapter 31

Soulmates have existed for as long as any dragon can remember, it’s one of the first things they teach us as whelps, and many dragons seem to have one. However, there is little recorded information on how they came to be or what the effects of soul bonds are on mated pairs.

“Tell me about it,” Atlas grumbled. For all the scrolls he’d pored over, there was little useful information. He continued reading, hoping that this journal he’d found, written by a dragon named Alienòr, whose scrolls he vaguely remembered reading, would end up being useful.

Not having a soulmate of my own, I became increasingly interested in this topic, curious to understand if there was something I was missing. After spending several centuries observing as many mated pairs as I could find, I have come to the following conclusions on this topic.

Although I came no closer to determining how this bond comes about, I determined that there are several stages involved in reaching a successful mating:

I call the first stage awareness - Many mated dragons described sudden knowledge that their soul mate had come into existence. They did not know who it was or where they might be, but they were full of certainty that they had entered the world.

The second stage is pull - Years after they achieve awareness, the dragons will inevitably meet; they will experience a sort of pulling sensation that will guide them to their mate. One fire dragon I talked to described a pull so strong it drove him to fly one thousand miles to a place he was unfamiliar with, only to find his mate living in a cave there.

The next stage is recognition - Mates will immediately recognize each other once they are in each other’s presence, regardless of age or gender. It is more common for this to happen after the onset of puberty, but I also witnessed it in younger dragons. The relationship remains platonic until both dragons have reached sexual maturity.

Atlas stopped his reading to think about how that applied to what he knew of Natsu and Igneel’s situations. Why had they ended up near this tiny village? Had it been arbitrary, or was Igneel drawn here? He couldn’t be sure. Igneel had been acting strangely at the time, but they’d both been under a lot of stress.

Natsu, however, had described a scent that guided him to fly to where Gray was. Atlas remembered Igneel’s insistence that Natsu did not need to go off searching for Gray as he would make his way to Natsu on his own. That sounded like the pull Alienòr had described.

He also knew that both Natsu and Igneel had immediately recognized Gray and Porlyusica as their soulmates. So far, their experiences matched up to what the journal described.

Once mates have recognized each other, a sort of courting process begins, which seems to vary both in time and method from race to race, although the overall goal to impress the other remains the same.

Fire dragons, for example, use involved flying acrobatics to impress their mate. I have added an extensive list of some feats I witnessed in my notes.

The dragons offer tokens to each other when they are ready to mate. The mating act itself seems to be what causes the souls to rejoin.

Although soul bonds are not sentient, they behave in a way that suggests specific aims.

The bonds seek to have mates coexist in each incarnation for as long as possible. This phenomenon is most noticeable when the mates are from different races. As an example, I observed a mated pair comprising an Earth dragon and a Sky dragon. The Sky dragon was the elder of the two by about two hundred years.

I have known Earth dragons to live upwards of fifteen hundred years, whereas a Sky dragon’s lifespan is around six hundred years. However, this Sky dragon lived to the unlikely age of close to a thousand years, while the Earth dragon died at eight hundred.

I have listed additional examples in my investigation notes, but this pattern was consistent across mixed-race soulmates.

“Where the hell are these notes he keeps talking about?” Atlas muttered to himself. He couldn’t recall having ever come across them, and it sounded like they had information he might find useful. Looking down at the mess of scrolls and books that took up almost every inch of his room, he sighed, knowing finding them was unlikely.

With natural death, mated dragons with longer life expectancies died earlier than was usual, while dragons with shorter life expectancies saw their lives extended.

When a mate’s death is precipitated by anything other than natural causes, there is a powerful urge for the surviving mate to take their own life. This urge can be surpassed, but it is rare to see the dragon reach full maturity. It is my opinion that there is some outside force working away at their life force so the cycle can begin anew.

Side effects/ Abilities of the soul bond

Although there doesn’t seem to be one unified experience, there are certain phenomena that are oft-repeated:

Mates have limited telepathy with each other; however, they cannot intrude on each other’s thoughts. This ability can improve with practice.

Heightened senses let them detect each other’s location.

Lying or acting in any way that will upset their mate will cause acute anxiety and inner conflict.

Mates cannot consciously hurt each other.

Have an open mental connection often described as a continuous background hum, allowing them to recognize any significant shift in emotions or pain levels

Based on these observations, I have devised spells that will grant me the ability to examine souls. I hope that reviewing what differences might exist between the souls of dragons with soulmates and those without will give me new insight. I’m also quite curious to learn if there is any way to study the soul bonds directly.

Atlas turned to the next page excitedly, wanting to read any results or conclusions Alienòr might have reached, but to his dismay, there was nothing but empty pages.

“Damn it!”

He slammed the journal on his worktable in frustration. Atlas knew he recognized the dragon’s name, but he couldn’t remember which of his scrolls he might have read. With no other alternative left, he began sorting through the mess, trying to locate Alienòr’s work.

0-0

Gray had informed Atlas and Igneel of his decision as soon as he’d returned from his trip with Lyon. Igneel had acted pleased while Atlas had disappeared to his room in a foul temper, claiming he needed to work on the spell. He only came out to eat and to spend time with Igneel.

Gray had left them to their preparations while he focused on training, applying himself with the same dedication he’d had when learning Ice Make magic from Ur all those years ago. He practiced his astral projection for hours at a time until he felt comfortable leaving his room and exploring the cave. Sometimes Igneel joined him, and they’d chat about Natsu, which only bolstered his determination to work hard. During those moments, Gray could tell that Igneel seemed sad about something, but he followed Lyon’s advice and didn’t let it worry him.

“I think you’ve got the hang of this now, how about we try something new?” Igneel asked, appearing in Gray’s room just as he was getting ready to move around.

“Sure, what did you have in mind?”

“I thought you could try to use your magic.”

“I can use my magic like this?”

“Of course. Your magic is a part of you, you might as well get used to wielding it.”

“Does that mean I’ve always had ice magic?” Gray puzzled. Until he’d met Ur, he’d had no sign that he had any magical power.

“Yes, it might just have taken a while to manifest while your dragon soul learned to adapt to being in a human body.”

Gray supposed that made as much sense as anything else.

“Will it be different from what I already know?”

“Why don’t you try it and see?” Igneel encouraged, watching him with great interest.

Gray thought it best to cast a spell he used often, since he was nervous about invoking his magic while in astral form.

Ice-Make: Cold Excalibur

An ice sword materialized in front of him, just as it always did, but this time it clattered uselessly to the floor when he attempted to close his fingers around it. It was only then he remembered he no longer had fingers to speak of. He’d also forgotten to account for his now larger size, so the sword looked more like a toy than a weapon.

Igneel chuckled at his horrified expression. “You might have to change how you think about it, though. Creation magic is powerful. You’ll just have to devise ways to use it that will suit your dragon body. Until then, your talons, fangs, wings, tail, and even the horns on your head are all powerful weapons you can use to great effect. As a dragon you’ll also gain a breath weapon and improved control over your element.”

Gray hadn’t even considered he might have to use his magic differently once he switched bodies, but he’d figure something out. That was the thing he’d always loved about his magic. It would never fail him as long as he could think his way through a problem.

He couldn’t contain his excitement at the thought that in a few short weeks he’d be with Natsu again. And this time he’d be the one to surprise him with a grand gesture, just like he’d always wanted. They’d be able to have the life they’d always dreamed of.

He was still nervous about how that was going to play out, though. He knew next to nothing about being a dragon.

“What’s the matter? You look worried. Are you afraid you won’t be able to do it?”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just, I don’t know the first thing about being a dragon and-”

“You’ll be fine,” Igneel assured him, “Believe it or not, a lot of it will just come to you by instinct. I have to say, I’m a little curious though. It’s obvious you’re some sort of ice dragon, but you don’t look like any I’ve ever seen.”

“I don’t?” Gray frowned, not understanding what Igneel meant until he remembered the last dragon that had attacked Talos. It had been an ice dragon, and it’d been white and smaller than Natsu.

“No. All the ice dragons I’ve encountered have had white, light blue or silver scales, and they were on the smaller side. They looked nothing like you.” Igneel said, pointing at Gray’s navy blue fur and larger size.

Gray was a little disappointed, Natsu had found ice dragons pretty, and he’d been looking forward to his reaction when he realized his mate had turned into one. Then again, he had a feeling that would be the last thing on Natsu’s mind when he saw him

“So how do I use my breath weapon?”

“Can you feel your magic inside you?”

Gray nodded, it didn’t feel any different than usual.

“If you’re used to creating things with your ice, you probably let out your magic in even spurts. Am I right?”

“Yeah, I don’t really need to use a lot at once unless I’m molding something large,” Gray agreed.

“Breath weapons are very effective, but they take a bit of time to charge up. That’s why you need to learn how to use other parts of your body to fight while that happens. Now, I want you to collect as much magic as you feel comfortable with, and then I want you to let it out all at once through your mouth. You can’t hurt anything here, so aim wherever you want.”

“Okay.” Gray closed his eyes to settle his nerves and began calling on his magic, letting it collect until he didn’t feel like he could hold it in anymore. It felt like a tremendous amount, even though it was only a fraction of what was available to him. He released it all at once, feeling as it traveled through his lungs, up his long neck and out through his mouth.

Considering what he’d seen of Natsu’s breath attack, even in his human form, he’d expected to see a large cone of ice spewing out from his mouth. However, no ice had come out at all, even though he’d felt something. It took him a moment to notice a sort of fog surrounding him.

“Well, that was pretty pitiful,” Atlas snorted from behind him, “What’s the matter, forget how to make ice?”

Gray startled at Atlas’ voice and instantly felt something shift in his magic. He didn’t quite understand it, but he noticed the mist had gotten thicker.

“What the hell?” Atlas sounded puzzled, and he stared at Gray, eyes narrowing as his brow furrowed.

“Is there a reason you're gracing us with your presence?”

“Look at his side,” Atlas urged Igneel, who only shrugged.

“I don’t see anything.”

“It’s not doing it on that side too?”

“Doing what? What are you talking ab-,” Igneel moved to stand beside Atlas, peering through the mist to get a look at Gray’s side.

“What is that?”

“No idea, I’ve seen nothing like that before. Did that mist get thicker when it started?”

“Could be. Are those markings?” Igneel muttered, “Do you think they mean anything?”

“Maybe? Maybe some kind of mutation,” Atlas suggested, “or he could be some special type of ice dragon? Might explain why he looks different.”

“I don’t understand, why didn’t any ice come out? My ice make worked just fine,” Gray interrupted the two brothers before they got involved in one of their discussions.

He didn’t get why they were so worked up about the inky tendrils that had appeared on his forearm and shoulder. Frankly, he was more concerned with his magic not working the way he’d expected.

He didn’t really get why they were so worked up about the inky tendrils that had appeared on his forearm and shoulder. Frankly, he was more concerned with his magic not working the way he’d expected.

“I don’t know,” Igneel admi, d, “but it’s the first time you tried to use your breath weapon, it could be you just need practice.”

“I guess,” Gray said, feeling disappointed. It had felt like he’d done everything right.

“Don’t beat yourself up,” Atlas said, “the astral realm doesn’t work the same way as what you’re used to. Things here work off two things: intent and instinct. You followed your instinct, but since you don’t know what to expect, it would make it difficult to visualize the outcome well enough to materialize it here. I’m sure that will change after-”

“So what did you come here to tell us?” Igneel changed the subject abruptly.

“I’m taking off for a while. I found something I think might be helpful, but it’s incomplete. Maybe the rest of it is still in Desierto.”

“It’s a waste of time, we have everything we need here,” Igneel argued.

“No. We don’t,” Atlas growled, “I’ll be back in a week. You should do some research on those markings while I’m gone, it could be something. Odds are if we haven’t come across something like that, he hasn’t either.”

The hellfire dragon disappeared from their view before Igneel could protest further, and although he still looked upset, he also seemed pensive.

“Why don’t you try one more time before we call it a day?”

Gray nodded and began collecting his magic once more.

0-0

Atlas hadn’t returned to Desierto since they’d moved to the mountains near Talos some twenty-five years earlier, but he’d lived there for almost four hundred years. He still knew just about every nook and cranny of the vast cave system they’d called home. He’d first explored it as a whelp along with Igneel, Deliora and several of the other dragons they’d grown up with.

It was also the place where he’d first discovered his love of magic, something his parents had quickly recognized and done their best to encourage, despite him being a hellfire dragon and unlikely to progress very far. It had taken him decades to see any development, but once he had he’d never looked back, learning more and more until it seemed like there was no problem he couldn’t solve with magic.

Atlas had told Igneel he’d only be gone a week, and it had taken him two days of swift flying to get here. That left him with about two days to search and one day to rest before embarking on the flight home.

Atlas knew Igneel had probably been right in saying this was a fool’s errand, but if he could somehow keep his brother from having to give up his life to do this for Natsu, it would be worth it.

Familiar scents greeted him as he stood inside the main entrance, filling him with a profound sadness. A lot of those dragons had passed away during the war, and would hopefully be reborn soon. But some hadn’t been as lucky. For those, the only remaining trace of their existence lived inside Acnologia.

It grieved Atlas to think of how many soulmate pairs the renegade had destroyed with that soul reaping spell of his. He wished they’d realized how dangerous Acnologia was earlier. They might have had a chance then, before he’d collected so many types of magic and become so unpredictable. It would have saved them a lot of heartache. Sadly, there was no magic that could turn back time, and it was something he had very little of at the moment.

Where should he look first? The old library seemed the most likely place to start, but he’d supervised its relocation himself, so it was unlikely anything of import would still be there. Alienòr was a name he’d vaguely recognized, so he’d likely died before Atlas had been born, as he’d apprenticed under all the red dragons that had studied magic.

Atlas found his way to the old library, which as expected was empty. While debating which areas of the lair had the highest chance of gaining him results, he felt a pull and groaned, recognizing it as Natsu wanting to communicate.

What now?

He headed to his old quarters, casting a barrier spell at the entrance on the off chance there was someone else inhabiting the cave. Natsu waited for him at their usual meeting place.

The souls that visited the astral plane could shape it into whatever guise they wanted. For Igneel, that often meant a volcanic region, but for Natsu it was their mountain. He sat atop it now, staring up at the stars as he often did when he was home.

“Everything okay?”

Natsu sighed, “Yeah. We’re almost done sending the dragon slayers home. Most of them had their magic removed.”

“I see. Does that include Wendy and the others?”

“No, they all kept theirs. I had to remove Irene’s magic, though.”

Atlas couldn’t help but notice the sad expression on his nephew’s face. “Something’s bothering you. Out with it.”

“I didn’t have time to tell you last time, she began to dragonify.”

Atlas grunted his displeasure at the news. Irene was a friend. She’d fought hard for them from the very beginning, having come from Dragnof where dragons and humans had once lived in harmony.

“How bad?”

“Her face, I’m not sure where else. I removed her magic to keep it from progressing, but she-”

“Let me guess, she doesn’t want Anna or Erza to see her like that?”

“Yeah.”

“Stubborn as always, but don’t worry about it. Tell her I can help her, but only if she comes home.”

“Thanks, I was hoping you could do something.” Natsu looked relieved, but Atlas couldn’t help but notice that the underlying sadness remained.

“It’s the least we can do for her,” Atlas smiled, remembering some of Irene’s feats. “Erza’s the one that used to beat you up when you were a kid, right?”

Natsu nodded, his eyes soon returning to the night sky. “How’s Gray doing?”

“About how you’d expect, he mopes around without you and complains about the heat.”

Natsu chuckled, but soon turned quiet again. His tail twitched behind him, giving away his agitation.

“Seriously, kid, what’s eating you?”

“Sting and Rogue are coming home.”

“And you don’t want them to?” Atlas wondered out loud.

“I don’t know. Talos is their home, even more than it’s mine. It’s just—I’m worried,” Natsu said, “You know what? Nevermind, it’s stupid.”

“I don’t follow. Is it because you’re still angry?” Atlas pressed.

“No, I mean I am, but that’s not really it.”

“Then, why don’t you tell me what it is you’re worried about?”

“It’s just—things between me and Gray are hard enough now. He goes off to work every day, and I do my King thing. Neither one of us fits into the other’s world. Not as things are. And I know he says he’s happy, but he’s my mate. I can feel his sadness.”

Natsu teared up. “How’s he going to feel when he’s confronted with Sting and Rogue? When he sees them having what we once had, but never can again. Is it going to destroy what we do have? Is he going to resent me?”

“Why not go somewhere else then?”

“I can’t take Gray away from his brother and his friends, that wouldn’t be fair. And where would we go, anyway? I can’t take him to Drak Aast, not after I agreed to remove all humans from the island.”

“Ugh, this whole thing sucks!” Natsu roared out his frustration. “This is exactly why I wanted to set him free.”

“You know that wouldn't have changed anything. From what Igneel tells me, Gray would be a lot more miserable without you, and I think he’s right. Think of how far that boy came to be with you. I think you should have more faith in him.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess I’m just scared. Now that he’s been living with us—I don’t want to go back to the way it was before.”

“Things will work out somehow, I’m sure of it.” Atlas nuzzled his nephew’s cheek, wanting to offer him some comfort from his gloomy thoughts.

“Thanks. I should go, there are still a lot of things I need to do before I go.”

“Sure. When will you be home?” Atlas asked, trying to appear uninterested in the response.

“One week’s time. At least it was a brief trip, huh?”

“Yeah, we can talk more when you get home.”

Natsu grunted his agreement, “Bye, Atlas.”

And just like that he was gone, and the mountain along with him. Atlas’ soul returned to his body, and he was once again in his old bedroom. He paced the large room, cursing this newest problem.

Atlas wanted to tell Natsu the truth. He thought Igneel’s plan was unnecessarily cruel, but he supposed it would be even crueller to make Natsu choose between his father and his fondest wish.

Natsu was coming home in one week. If Atlas didn’t return right away, they might not have enough time to perform the spell before Natsu arrived with the dragon slayers.

But he hadn’t even searched yet.

Natsu doesn’t need me anymore, but he needs Gray. This current arrangement they have, you know it’s hurting them both.

Igneel’s words haunted him. Damn it, why did he always have to be right? It pissed him off.

And how the hell could his brother expect him to let go of him so easily? The only time they’d been apart since they’d hatched was when Igneel had lived in Talos with Porlyusica, and even then they’d seen each other regularly.

Igneel was more than his brother, he was his best friend. Atlas had never needed anyone else. He’d come to Desierto in search of a miracle, desperate to find anything that would keep him from having to let go, but…

Igneel had long ago made his peace with his sacrifice. Atlas was being selfish, and no matter how much Igneel’s decision hurt him, it wasn't his choice to make. And Natsu had unwittingly confirmed why it was so important.

After everything Natsu had done for them, didn’t he deserve to live the life they’d always promised him? Especially when Gray was willing to trade everything he was on the off chance they could manage it.

Atlas could spend days here, but he knew he was unlikely to find anything that would help. They had moved everything of importance twenty-five years ago. Even if he found those notes, they might not help him at all. And then he’d have missed his last days with Igneel for nothing.

He’d always bet on magic to solve all his problems, and maybe with enough time it could. But he knew he had to follow his heart this time, or he’d regret it for the rest of his life.

He would head home in the morning, but first he needed to rest.

0-0

Gray raced down the mountain path, making his way towards the lake where he knew he’d find Lyon and Erza. They went there every day to watch the sunset before heading home to get dinner started.

Natsu and Happy would be home in four days, but for once that wasn’t the reason he was so excited. Atlas had told them the dragon slayers would come with them. All of them.

He wasn’t sure how he felt about Sting and Rogue’s return, but he also knew it wouldn’t be an issue. By the time they arrived, he’d more than likely be a dragon. If that were the case, it would be a lot easier to forgive them for what had happened.

Gray ran past the field and through town, waving at the people that greeted him along the way. He didn’t stop until he saw Lyon and Erza standing by the shore. It took him several minutes to catch his breath and by that point his friends had already noticed him and were watching him with concern.

“Is something wrong?” Erza asked, and he wanted to laugh because it was just the opposite but held it in to avoid choking and really worrying her. Instead, he raised his hand at her and gestured for her to wait.

“They dragon slayers are coming home,” Gray finally managed to get out in between pants. He peered at Erza with a big smile and added, “All of them. Natsu got in touch with Atlas and told him, they’ll be here in four days.”

“My mother?” Erza breathed, tears welling in her eyes. “She’s coming home?”

Gray could only grin at her as she tackled him so hard they both fell on the ground.

Lyon helped them up, laughing at Erza’s embarrassed expression as he wrapped her up in a hug. “That’s amazing! She’s finally coming home, I’m so happy for you.”

Gray couldn’t resist teasing his brother, “You’re going to get to meet your mother-in-law, I sure hope she likes you.”

Lyon glared at him, but Erza was quick to shut Gray down, “Nonsense! Of course she’ll love him. How could she not?”

Gray could think of a few reasons, but he kept them all to himself because Erza turned to smile at him then and she looked so radiant it took his breath away, the setting sun no match for her beauty.

“Why am I standing here? I have to tell Anna!” Erza glanced over at Lyon, “Do you want to come?”

“I’ll stay with Gray, there’s something I want to talk to him about, and I imagine Anna would rather hear the news in private. Take your time, I know the two of you will have a lot to talk about.”

Erza waved at them and then ran in the orphanages’ direction.

“It’s nice to see her so happy,” Lyon commented, as he watched her retreating figure. “She’s waited for that for so long.”

“Yeah, she certainly has.”

“So, what does this mean for you? You’d said you needed to do your thing before Natsu returned.”

“I’m handing in my resignation tomorrow morning, so I guess I’ll say my goodbyes then. We’re planning on doing the spell the day before Natsu arrives to give me some time to get used to—uh, everything I guess. Not sure what will happen after he gets back.”

“Have you thought about what you’re going to tell people?”

Gray hadn’t given it any thought. “Why would anyone care?”

“Because you’ve been a guard for a very long time?”

Gray shrugged, “I dunno, I guess I’ll say my husband and I are moving away somewhere.”

“As crazy as it sounds, I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry I gave you a hard time on that trip. I just—”

“I know. You were trying to look out for me, I’m glad I stuck it out though.”

Lyon squeezed his shoulder, “I am too. I know it wasn't easy, but now that you’re about to get what you’ve always wanted, I couldn’t be happier.”

He suddenly laughed, “You know, I never thanked you for nagging me to move here. And I’m glad everyone is coming home, it hasn’t been the same without them.”

Gray smirked, “Maybe you can take down Wendy someday... but I doubt it.”

“You promised you’d never bring that up again,” Lyon whined, much to Gray’s delight.

“They’re going to be different,” Gray warned, thinking of the things Natsu had told him.

“I know, but we can still be here for them.”

“You’ve grown up a lot.”

“I had an outstanding teacher,” Lyon remarked, playfully punching Gray’s shoulder.

“Have you told Erza about the spell?”

“No, I didn’t

know what to say, and I kind of thought you’d like to tell her.” Lyon snapped his fingers, “Don’t forget you promised me a ride!”

“Sure, sure. You’ll probably crap your pants,” Gray snorted, but Lyon’s words served as a pleasant reminder that his brother loved him no matter what.

“Hey, do you remember that time we iced Sting’s locker?” Lyon giggled.

“His face!” Gray roared, laughing at the memory. “And then Natsu refused to help him melt it, so Rogue had to phase into it and get everything out for him so he wouldn’t be late for his shift.”

They sat down to watch the sunset together, laughing as they looked back on the good memories they had made during their earlier years in Talos.

0-0

“Do you have a minute?”

Gray looked up from the sketch he was working on before going to bed to find Igneel standing at the room’s entrance.

“Yes, of course,” Gray put his pencil down and gestured for Igneel to come inside, curious what his father-in-law wanted to talk to him about.

Igneel ambled in, “I just wanted to let you know Natsu got in touch with us a few minutes ago. They’ve just left.”

Gray tensed up at the news. It thrilled him that Natsu was coming home sooner than expected, but it also reminded him how little time they had left.

Igneel glanced around the room, his eyes coming to rest on the piece of paper Gray had been working on, “I didn’t know you drew. Is that Natsu?”

“Yeah, it is.” Gray scratched the back of his neck, feeling self-conscious. He’d only ever let Natsu and Lyon see his drawings. “It’s not something I do often, just when I’m anxious, I guess. Keeps me from getting inside my head too much.”

Igneel nodded in understanding, “I suppose that would be magic for me. Speaking of which, I’m sorry to say we’ve yet to find any information on those markings of yours, but we’ll keep looking.”

“I still don’t get why you guys are so excited about that.”

“Well, it’s because it has the potential to be a weapon against Acnologia. We don’t understand much about how his magic works, but he has one spell that allows him to reap a portion of a dragon’s soul. When successful, he links the soul to his magic and gains a certain resistance or immunity to that magic.”

“That happened to you, didn’t it?”

“Yes, along with many other dragons. It’s why he’s so hard to kill, he’s made it so our magic is useless against him. But if we could find something he’s never encountered before,” Igneel shrugged, “who knows?”

“I doubt that mist would do much of anything against him,” Gray muttered.

Igneel chuckled at him. “Don’t sell yourself short, we don’t know what it can do yet. I’m sure Atlas will figure it out once you can wield it. It will be an excellent distraction for him.”

Gray stopped to wonder what it would be a distraction from, but the sheer panic at having to fight Acnologia someday soon replaced it.

“I’m going to fight that thing?”

“It’s possible. Does that scare you?”

“Well yeah, he held his own against all of you, and you knew what you were doing.”

“There’s something I told Natsu a long time ago. It’s likely the most important thing I ever taught him, and I’m going to share it with you as well.” Igneel disclosed.

“Regardless of who you’re fighting, the critical thing in any battle is to keep a level head. You have plenty of weapons at your disposal, but your mind is the most important one. If you let yourself panic, then you’ve already lost. I think as a creation mage, this is especially relevant to you.”

Gray nodded, understanding the truth in those words. He only hoped he’d remember them when the time came. He was aware of how terrifying Acnologia was. Then again, the next time they met things would be different. He’d no longer be a human, and Natsu would be right by his side. Not to mention, Gray had a score to settle with him, for hurting Natsu the way he had, and for taking away the life they’d just begun.

He did, however, want to change the subject to something more pleasant, especially with Natsu on the way home and the possibility of danger never far from his mind.

“Do you think you could teach me how to fly once I’ve changed? I’d like to surprise Natsu and I’m not sure I could survive Atlas teaching me anything else,” Gray implored, recalling how miserable he’d been when the hellfire dragon had taught him how to astral project.

“You don’t think you being a dragon will be enough of a surprise?” Igneel joked, but his laughter sounded hollow, and Gray couldn’t help but notice Igneel had averted his eyes.

“Igneel?”

The fire dragon stared at the ground, remaining silent long enough to make Gray feel uneasy.

“I haven’t been entirely truthful with you,” Igneel admitted, looking up at Gray at last.

“What do you mean?” It amazed Gray how calm he sounded, because inside he was anything but. He’d known from the beginning that Igneel was keeping something from him, and as much as he wanted to know what it was, he’d also been dreading it.

“I’m afraid I won’t be here after you’ve changed.”

“Won't be here?” Gray repeated, “I don’t understand.”

“What we’re trying to do, frankly, it’s never been attempted before. I’m not sure anyone but Atlas could manage it, and it would never work if you didn’t possess a dragon soul.”

“How to explain it?” Igneel’s talons tapped the cave floor as he thought.

“Energy can’t be created, it can only transform from one form to another. And it will take a lot of energy to create the body that matches your soul. To accomplish this, Atlas will have to deconstruct both our bodies and transform the released energy into your new body.” Igneel explained, gauging Gray’s reaction before continuing.

“However, despite having a dragon soul, your current lifespan is still that of a human. So the second part of the puzzle was, how can we prolong that to closer match Natsu’s? There’s only one solution. I will merge my remaining life force with yours. From what Atlas discovered in his research, your soul bond should take care of the rest.”

“Are you saying in order for me to become a dragon, you have to... die?” Gray balked at the thought.

“Gray—”

“No!” Gray stood up from his chair, moving to bridge the distance between them. “How can you talk about this like it’s nothing? Do you have any idea what your death would do to Natsu? Because I do. I’ve lived it.”

It scared him to think of how Natsu had acted after that nightmare, and back then he hadn't even known for a fact if Igneel was dead.

“Gray—”

“How can you ask this of me? I’ve already put him through so much, I can’t be the one responsible for taking you away. Can’t you see that? And how the hell is Atlas—”

“GRAY!” Igneel roared, cutting off the rest of his protests.

“I understand how you feel, but I assure you I didn’t decide this lightly. And I do know what it will do to him. But I also know that Natsu is strong. Losing me will make him sad, but it won’t destroy him. Losing you, however, is a different matter.”

“But your soul,” Gray objected, trying to think of anything that might change the dragon’s mind. “Natsu told me if you died before Acnologia you wouldn’t be able to—”

“I appreciate your concern,” Igneel frowned, “but any doubts I may have had were gone the moment I realized your magic might be what we need to defeat that abomination.”

“But we know nothing about it!”

“It’s still the only lead we have. I’ve had a wonderful life, Gray. Full of love and magic. It’s all I ever wished for. So please, don’t change your mind now. I know it’s asking a lot, but let me do this for the two of you. I want to.”

This was insanity. There was no way he could be a part of this. Natsu would never forgive him. Not in a million years. Gray felt the room closing in around him as everything fell apart.

“I can’t—,” He didn’t know what it was he couldn’t do, breathe, go through with the spell, understand what was happening? It felt like all of them at once.

“Just think about it, okay?” Igneel pleaded.

“I have to go.”

Gray turned around and ran out of the cave, not at all sure what he was running away from but needing to breathe some fresh air, heat wave be damned. He headed down to the lake again, knowing it would be cooler near the water. Maybe he’d go for a swim. He needed to think, and it was late enough he didn’t expect to see anyone.

He stripped before wading into the water, letting himself float while looking up at the night sky. The stars shone brilliantly, reminding him of all the nights he’d spent at the top of the mountain with Fukou.

What was he supposed to do?

According to Lyon, he wasn’t responsible for the choices of others, but surely there had to be a limit to that. Going through with their plan meant Igneel would die.

But Igneel said it was something he wanted, and Atlas wasn’t trying to stop him anymore.

If he went through with it, would Natsu hate him for taking his father away?

If he didn’t would he regret it when he died and Natsu had to continue living alone because of the promise he made?

Back and forth Gray went, getting no closer to an answer he could live with. If only he could talk to Natsu to get a feel for what he’d want him to do. That was what he hated the most out of all this. This decision affected both their lives, yet he needed to make it on his own.

Why couldn’t they just wait until Natsu returned?

“Gray?”

He forced himself back to the present, glancing at the shore and finding Juvia peering at him with a concerned expression. How long had she been calling for him?

He didn’t feel like talking to anyone at the moment, but he also didn’t want to be rude.

“Yeah, it’s me,” he said, standing up in the water and walking towards the shore. “No need to make that face, I just felt like cooling down.”

“Oh,” She didn’t look very convinced, but she didn’t call him on it and she perked up when she saw he was walking over.

“Juvia is glad to run into Gray. Juvia was afraid she wouldn’t get to say goodbye when she missed the meeting.” She sat down on the sand, delicately arranging her skirt around her.

“Well, Natsu won’t be back for another two days. I’m not sure when we’re leaving,” Gray said, grabbing his clothes and putting them on before sitting next to her.

If at all.

“Juvia also heard congratulations are in order.”

“Congratulations?”

“Gray married Natsu,” She blushed prettily.

“Oh that,” Gray had forgotten he’d announced it at the meeting, “uhm thanks.”

“Lyon said Gray had been in love with Natsu since he was very young. And when Natsu went off to fight in the war, Gray wore his scarf and waited for him to return for so very long, never giving his heart to anyone else.”

“Gray is so very romantic!” Juvia cooed.

“He didn’t say this in front of anyone else, did he?” Gray groaned at the thought.

“No,” Juvia giggled, “Only Juvia. Lyon is proud of Gray. Juvia thinks he’s a bit of a romantic too.”

“He’s something, alright,” Gray laughed along with her. “How about you? How’s the mysterious boyfriend?”

“Juvia is on her way to see Logan. He lives on the other side of the lake,” Juvia smiled, her eyes shining as she looked across the water.

“I’m glad you found someone who makes you happy.”

“Juvia is too, it’s much nicer when the other person likes you too.”

“Juvia... I’m sorry—”

“No, no!” Juvia raised her hands in protest. “Juvia didn’t mean it like that!”

“Juvia had no one to teach her how to use her magic. So Juvia made it rain all the time, and it drove people away. Juvia was always lonely. Then Gray defended Juvia, and Juvia wanted to believe it was because Gray loved her.”

“So Juvia forced her feelings on Gray and drove him away too. Anna helped Juvia understand that was not what love was. Then Juvia met Logan, and he was very interested in Juvia and Juvia’s friends.”

“Oh, have the others met him?”

Gray couldn’t recall hearing anything about it, but that wasn’t all that unusual. He didn’t precisely socialize with anyone outside of Lyon and Erza, and his problems had distracted him from everything else.

“No, Logan doesn’t enjoy crossing the lake, but he cares about Juvia. Logan asks about Juvia’s day and about her friends. And now, Juvia is happy. She would do anything to be with Logan.”

Gray blinked at her, knowing those words sounded familiar. It didn’t take him long to remember why. He didn’t need to guess Natsu’s answer, because he’d already given it to him when they had been trying to find their way back to each other.

If there were any way to change what I am, I’d do it in a second. I’d do anything to be with you…

There might not be a way to change what Natsu was, but Atlas and Igneel had given Gray the opportunity to do just that, and he’d come so close to throwing it away. While he still didn’t feel right about Igneel’s sacrifice, he would accept it. After all, hadn’t his own parents given up their lives for him?

“Thank you!” Gray wrapped Juvia up in a quick hug, flustering her even as she looked confused by his outburst. “I have to go!”

He scrambled to his feet and ran back home to tell Igneel what he’d decided.

Juvia watched him leave in stunned silence. Gray had been the first man Juvia had ever loved, even if he’d never returned her feelings. And he’d also been the first person to show her any kindness. She would always remember him fondly.

She waited until she couldn’t see him anymore and then turned to the water and waded in. Once the water reached her neck, she switched to her water body and swam across the lake, her mind filled with her upcoming rendezvous.

It didn't take her long to reach their meeting spot. Juvia dispelled her water body, her clothes already dry by the time she reached her lover.

“You’re late,” Logan snapped.

“Logan waited for Juvia!” Juvia ignored his rebuke. She walked up to her boyfriend and grabbed his one hand in both of hers and smiled up at him. “Juvia is sorry for being late. Juvia ran into one of her friends on the way.”

“It’s alright,” Logan drew in a long breath before returning her smile. “I was just worried about you.”

“What should we do tonight? Shall we go to Logan’s house? Juvia can make some food if Logan is hungry.”

“It’s such a pretty night, why don’t we go for a walk?” Logan offered, leading Juvia towards the forest once she agreed.

The blue tattoos that ran down Logan’s arm gleamed in the moonlight, contrasting with the dark skin that Juvia had always considered exotic. She stared at them briefly, once again wondering what they meant. She’d asked him one time, but he’d changed the subject.

Gray had referred to Logan as mysterious, and Juvia had to admit he wasn’t wrong. She knew little about him, even after months of seeing each other. Whenever she asked him questions about his past, Logan somehow turned the conversation back to her.

“So which of your friends did you run into?”

“Oh, it was Gray,” Juvia replied, her attention on a flower that only bloomed at night.

“Wasn’t he the ice mage that was injured during the dragon attack?” Logan’s tone was casual, but his hand squeezed Juvia’s tighter than usual.

Juvia frowned. She’d been about to complain when he relaxed his grip, flashing her an apologetic smile.

“Sorry darling, you know how just the thought of dragons gets me all worked up.”

“It’s alright,” Juvia assured him, “It’s not something Juvia likes to talk about either, but yes, that was Gray.”

“And how is dear Gray doing these days?” Logan let go of her hand, picking the flower Juvia had been admiring and placing it in her hair.

“Wonderful!” Juvia blushed at his attention, her hand moving up to her hair to touch the flower. “Gray’s husband is coming home at last, and they’ll be moving away soon.”

“Who is his husband again?”

“Juvia has never met Natsu, he’s one of the dragon slayers that left to fight in the war.”

“Natsu,” Logan’s voice dripped with a venom Juvia had never heard him use before, “I sure hope he gets the welcome he deserves.”

“Logan?”

A/N: One chapter to go! I'm so excited and I do plan on continuing through to the end. Next chapter will feature some guest writing from my husband so expect a nice fight scene as well as a beautiful art from @khaoticvex! As the song that makes me think of the next chapter goes... It's been a long time comin'

#gratsu #fairy tail #update #gray x natsu #fairy tail big bang 2018

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crystalninjaphoenix · 4 years ago

Text

Calm & Conversations

A JSE Fanfic

Okay so my schedule for uploading fics may be a bit wonky for the next while. I’m not sure how to fit writing in with my classes this semester, so I’m just improvising as I go. But I’ve got this! It’s really just a bunch of scenes that need to happen before the next story, but it was nice to write again. We check in on Laurens and Schneep (yknow I’m just now realizing how big a deal the non-septic characters are to this story), Marvin tells Chase something important, there’s a flashback with JJ, and Anti is being a plotting dick as usual. Have fun guys dsjdfkdfjk

You can find the other stories under the pw timeline tag!

Laurens knocked on the office door, hearing a soft “come in” in response. She took a deep breath, and pushed the door open, stepping inside. It had been a while since she’d been inside. And now that Dr. Newson had been suspended as director of the hospital, she had to get a read on her replacement. But this wasn’t something she could just avoid, so she stepped inside.

“Ah, Rya, good to see you!” The woman sitting at the desk immediately stood up. “I heard you returned to Silver Hills, but I guess you’ve been too busy for me to see you.”

“Oh, hi Dr. Fells.” Laurens nodded, friendly. “Y-yeah, it’s been a while.”

“It has! And please, call me Becca.” Fells smiled cheerfully. “How have you been? Well, I suppose that’s a superfluous question. Your cast says as much.”

“Uh, yeah, it’s uh...been an ordeal.” Laurens adjusted her sling. “Anyway, I uh...I came in to ask for a day off. Actually, I need it off.”

“Oh, of course.” Fells rummaged around in the desk, pulling out a form and a pen. “You know, you could have filled out a request. We have it online now.”

“I know, but this is important, so I, um, didn’t want to risk it,” Laurens explained. “I have to, uh, testify. In court. On the thirty-first.”

“Oh dear, well then you’ll definitely need the whole day off,” Fells said, filling out the form. “But you should tell your patient, too.”

“Yeah, I was planning on it.” Laurens wasn’t sure how into detail she would go. After all, the court case was all about Newson and her abuse of power, which could be a sensitive topic for Schneep. She’d try to be vague. As that thought crossed her mind, it slowly dawned on her that she was more involved in this case than she’d ever been before. Perhaps that was a bad thing. But she couldn’t leave it now.

“Great.” Fells finished writing, and looked up to smile at Laurens. “If you need anything else, please let me know. I understand that Newson got too involved in your work, and I’d hate to be like that, but I’m here to help!”

“Thanks, Becca.” Laurens coughed awkwardly. “I’ll, uh...see you later. Bye.”

“Goodbye, Rya!”

With that done, Laurens headed down to Schneep’s room, as usual. And as usual, she met Oliver outside, made some small talk, and then went in.

Schneep was laying on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. When Laurens and Oliver walked in, he immediately grabbed the small contact mirror she’d given him yesterday, and checked their reflections in it. Seemingly satisfied, he sat up straight.

“Hi Schneep,” Laurens said, taking a seat. “How are you?”

“Well, I am fine, I suppose.” Schneep shrugged. “Nothing much has changed. Which is a good thing, I think.”

“Yes, I think it is.” She hesitated, then continued on. “So I have good news and bad news.”

Schneep immediately tensed. “Bad news?”

“Do you want that one first?”

“Well, it depends on what it is.”

“It’s not too bad, I think,” Laurens said. “I just won’t be able to have our session on the thirty-first.”

“Oh. Alright.” Schneep exhaled, clearly relieved. “And how far away is that?”

“Six days. You’re okay with this? Or would you rather have someone else substitute for me?”

“Ah, your substitutes never work,” Schneep dismissed. “The last one was an asshole.”

“Newson? Well...yeah,” Laurens admitted.

“Besides, we already talk with each other almost every day. It is fine.” Schneep shrugged. “What is the good news?”

“Ah, right.” Laurens smiled. “Well, we might be able to move you back to your old room! The one with less restrictions. And it’s possible that I may be able to get you any clothing that was confiscated.” She still didn’t understand why Newson did that. Well. actually, she did.

Schneep’s face lit up. “Oh, that would be wonderful! What changed?”

“Well, the new medication seems to be working,” Laurens said. “And you said last time that the techniques I suggested were helping, too. So I think I can convince our new director that you’re not a risk case. Or at least, not as much as your file has you marked as.”

Schneep winced. “I do remember doing some...questionable things when first arriving here.”

“It’s understandable, you were lashing out,” Laurens said reassuringly.

“Still...” Schneep wrapped his arms around himself. “I remember that one orderly who I hurt, and I feel...well, bad, of course, and because of that, I do worry.”

“Theresa has made a full recovery, don’t worry,” Laurens said. “And if you’d like, today we can work on some ways to manage anger and stress.”

“That sounds good, thank you.” Schneep nodded.

“Alright, we’ll start with that.”

——————

“This is weird.” Marvin shifts awkwardly on his seat, leaning onto the side of the hospital bed. “He’s just staring into nothing.”

“Hey, I thought you didn’t like eye contact anyway,” Chase pointed out, a smile pulling at his mouth.

“Well, yeah, but it’s weird when it’s Jack,” Marvin explained.

Marvin hadn’t had a chance to see Jack in a while. Or, actually, he’d just been forgetting to. So Chase had offered to bring him along on a visit, to make sure he did. Marvin had agreed, and now here they were, Chase in one chair at the side of the bed, Marvin in another on the opposite side.

“Is it wrong to say it’s kind of creepy?” Marvin asked reluctantly.

“What? Open eyes?”

“It’s not necessarily the open eyes, so much as it’s that he’s not moving at all other than that,” Marvin said. “I...wasn’t supposed to say that, was I? That was one of those things?”

“No, it’s fine, it makes sense,” Chase reassured him. “I get it.” He grabs one of Jack’s hands. “Y’know, he’s been moving a little bit recently. Sometimes he, like, squeezes your hand. He probably doesn’t mean to, but it’s nice. And it’s progress.”

“Involuntary twitching is progress?” Marvin asked.

“Yeah, cause he couldn’t move at all before.” Chase’s fingers ran across the back of Jack’s hand. He’d always been pale, but after being in the hospital for over a year, he was practically paper white. “I mean, it’s still pretty bad. He’s a seven on that scale I told you about.”

“Fast improvement, though, so that’s good.” Marvin adjusted his position, scooting the chair closer before leaning onto the bed again. “Do you think he can hear us?”

“I dunno,” Chase said, shrugging. “They always say people in comas might hear people, but that could be just a myth. Maybe we should ask someone who’s actually been in a coma and woke up.”

“Someone probably did a Reddit question like that.”

“Oh, for sure.”

They fell silent for a moment. Marvin traced the line on the heart monitor with his eyes. “So...how have the kids been?”

“Pretty good, far as I can tell. They started reception in August, y’know.” Chase laughed a bit. “Y’know, I still think kindergarten is a better term.”

“Ah yes, the child garden.” Marvin chuckled a little as well. “Y’know you didn’t have to enroll them if you didn’t want to. I never went to reception, and I turned out fine.”

“Do they even have reception or kindergarten in Ireland?”

“...not exactly, but that’s besides the point. It’s more about the age, I’m trying to say I didn’t go to school until I was six. Grandmam always said I was too nervous to go.”

“Can’t imagine you being nervous,” Chase muttered. “Well, Sophie and Nick are ready. They can be wild kids, but at their age, who wouldn’t be? They’re still very good listeners. Nick has a good memory, and Sophie can, like, figure out puzzles pretty quickly. They’re fine.” He looked up at Marvin. “What about you? Anything interesting going on in your life?”

“Well, there’s still the case I told you about,” Marvin said.

“Oh yeah, that. Did you tell JJ about the hearing on Halloween?”

“Yeah.” Marvin’s expression fell. “It’s shitty timing, but I can still stop by his flat for birthday stuff after it’s all done. Or he can watch me on TV. Because apparently they’re gonna televise this, you hear that?”

“Whoa, really?” Chase asked, surprised.

“Yeah, apparently Schneep’s case is a big deal.” Marvin ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, we wouldn’t have known that. JJ didn’t know Schneep before, you hate watching the news, and I wasn’t even in the country.”

“We missed everything,” Chase agreed. Part of him still felt bad about that. Maybe it would’ve been reassuring to know Schneep didn’t exactly disappear. Or maybe it would’ve been worse, since by all accounts, it looked like Schneep was actually a serial killer. But Chase pushes aside these thoughts for now. He actually wanted to ask Marvin something, now that the subject came up. “So, uh, are you ready to tell us why you suddenly went to Ireland? If it’s okay?”

Marvin didn’t say anything for a while. He just continued running his fingers through his hair. After much too long, he took a deep breath. “Yeah, fine. I mean, JJ isn’t here, but I can tell him later. Or, actually...maybe it would be better to show you.”

“Show me?” Chase repeated. “What do you mean?”

Marcin sat up straight and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, pulling it up.

“Whoa, hey, dude! What if someone walks in?!” Chase leaned back.

“Just look.”

Though confused, Chase did so. But that only made him even more confused. “Are those...scars?”

There were three long, raised scars on Marvin’s torso, one on his chest and two on his stomach. Marvin quickly lowered his shirt again. “Yeah.” He folded his arms. “That’s why I left.”

“What?” Chase’s mind spun, working hard to come up with an explanation. “You got attacked or something? Why?”

Marvin took a deep breath, already looking tired. “Okay, so this is gonna be a long story. Y’know the boutique I worked for?”

“Yeah.”

“So I found out that place wasn’t exactly what it seemed.” Marvin hesitated, then blurted it out. “It was actually a front for an underground crime ring.”

Chase’s first impulse was to laugh. He tried to bite it back, but a quiet snrk escaped.

“What? It’s the truth,” Marvin said defensively.

“No, I’m not saying it’s not,” Chase hurried to say. “Not saying you’re lying. It’s just...you said it so straight, and it sounds so absurd.”

“Y’know what sounds absurd? The fact that Schneep and Jackie got kidnapped by a serial killer who turned out to be the brother of a guy we met just a few months later.”

“Fair point.” Chase coughed into his elbow to get rid of any leftover laughter. “Anyway, how do you know that? Or is this just a theory?”

“A gaaaame theory,” Marvin said.

“Dude, c’mon.”

“Sorry, habit.” Marvin paused, gathering his thoughts. “Well, I worked there for a while before I figured it out. I’m guessing that some of the staff was in on it, but not all of them. But things started seeming weird after a while, compared to other jobs I’ve had. Odd hours. Shifty management. And some customers would ask for something very specific that we didn’t actually stock, and when I brought it up to my manager, they always said they’d handle it personally. So I got suspicious, and I started investigating.”

“Marv, you could’ve asked Jackie for help,” Chase said, shaking his head. “He’s literally a private investigator.”

“Okay, yeah, but this was after he disappeared,” Marvin explained.”So I had to do it on my own. Besides, I might not have asked anyway, he’s a bit, uh...” He flapped his hand in the air, looking for the words. “Surprisingly a goody-two-shoes about it. But the point is, I did it myself. And when I snooped into a new shipment we just received, I found a hidden compartment with some guns inside.”

“Oh, jeez.” Chase’s eyes widened.

“Yeah, exactly.” Marvin nodded. “I left quickly, but as luck would have it, I ran into one of the management coming out of the back room. I guess they must’ve figured out what I saw, because a lot of people were acting really weird around me after that.” Marvin exhaled deeply. “And so, when I was walking home one night, this guy ambushed me and stabbed me.”

“Dude, holy shit!” Chase gasped.

“Imagine how I felt!” Marvin shouted. “I got fucking stabbed! I thought I was gonna die in the middle of the fucking street!” He pressed his hand to his chest, right over the scar, as he took control of his breathing. I was so fucking scared, he signed shakily.

“God, Marvin, I’m so sorry,” Chase said softly.

Marvin smiled a bit. Well, thanks. Obviously, I didn’t die, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because of luck. I went into shock for a bit, and the guy stabbing me probably thought I was losing consciousness and left. I was bleeding a lot, I’m not sure how I managed to stand up. But I did, and I walked all the way home.

“Bro, call an ambulance!”

I would’ve, but I thought that if people saw an ambulance in the area they would figure I survived, and try again. So I walked home, used all the bandages from that emergency super-thorough medical kit Schneep gave me, and passed out immediately after that. I woke up the next morning, still all dizzy, and knew I had to leave.

“Oh my god...” Chase could only shake his head. “I’m guessing you didn’t tell us because you didn’t want us involved in this?”

Marvin nodded. “Yeah...I mean, I didn’t even really want to be involved, I just wanted to find out what was happening. Guess I didn’t think that far ahead.”

Chase laughed a bit, but it quickly faded. “So...you’re back now ‘cause you think it’s over?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Marvin shrugged. “I mean, I couldn’t stay with my grandma forever. I’m pretty sure the people who tried to kill me all think I’m dead. But still. I’m a bit nervous about getting another job.”

“Hey, understandable. But I’m sure it’ll be—” Chase gasped.

“What?” Marvin asked, slightly alarmed.

“Nothing, he just—just squeezed my hand.” Chase looked down at Jack. Of course, Jack still wasn’t looking at him. He knew the squeezing probably wasn’t intentional, but he couldn’t help from assigning meaning to it. “Maybe he wants to reassure you.”

“Maybe. Well, thanks, Jack.” Marvin patted Jack’s other hand. “Wonder what you’d think of all of this.”

“Well, we can ask him when he wakes up,” Chase said, putting a cheerful note in his voice. “He’d probably be like ‘what the fuck? Why am I friends with you crazy people?’”

Marvin laughed. “Ah, we love you, Jack. Even JJ likes you, even though you’ve never met. We’ve told him so many good things.”

Chase nodded, falling quiet. Things were insane lately, but at least there was the silver lining of Jack getting better. Hopefully, everything else would also improve with time.

——————

Jameson opened the curtains and peered out his living room window. His eyes scanned the street below, but saw nothing. Still not satisfied, he pulled them shut.

There hadn’t been any sign of that stalker he’d seen a few days ago, but he wasn’t about to take any chances. He’d explained the situation to his boss, Mr. Patterson, and he’d let him take the week off for safety. So JJ had spent all his time in his apartment, reading and playing a lot of Minecraft. He knew this couldn’t last forever. But maybe it could last until his birthday.

Speaking of which...JJ checked his text messages really quick. The most recent exchange was with Marvin, where he explained the whole deal with the court case. It was good that this would be finished, but JJ couldn’t lie, he’d been looking forward to a birthday get-together with Marvin and Chase. Nothing too big, of course, but he was expecting both of them to be there at the same time. Unfortunately, that would now be impossible. The court case was going to last all day, so Marvin was only available in the evening. But then Chase couldn’t be there, since he was doing Halloween things with his kids at that time.

JJ sighed, and closed his messages. Well, even if the two of them came over at different times, they could have some fun. JJ headed over to the kitchen to make some tea, trying to come up with activities they could do together.

He’d never had friends over for a birthday before. Well, when he was a kid he would invite his classmates over a couple times. But not many responded, and even as a kid, he felt like the ones who did were only doing so out of pity for “the weird boy who couldn’t talk right.” Not to mention that a couple foster families wouldn’t actually let anyone come over.

Actually, when was the last time he’d spent his birthday with someone? It must have been a while...

——————

“No, absolutely not.”

Are you serious?! Jameson signed angrily. It’s just an amusement park! We’ve gone to plenty before!

Aneirin didn’t even turn to look at him as he spoke, focusing on cleaning the dishes from dinner. Jameson was on his blind side, staring at the glass eye. “Yes, but we’ve always gone together. I wouldn’t mind that, but I can’t go tonight. I’m...busy.”

Jameson wasn’t sure he wanted to know what ‘busy’ meant. Judging from the ‘business’ JJ had been involved in in the past, it would probably end up with a dead body and cash changing hands. The thought made him sick, so he moved on. I’m not eight years old, Aneirin, I’m turning twenty-two. I don’t need your permission.

“Well...you sort of do,” Anti said slowly, only glancing at Jameson long enough to take in the signs. “Or at least, you need me to drive you, which I won’t.”

I wouldn’t need you to drive me if I knew how to drive.

“Well, you’ve never really shown any interest, you know?”

Jameson growled. It was no use arguing that of course he’d shown interest, it was Anti who never showed any interest in teaching or paying for lessons. No use in saying any of that, Anti would just ignore it or twist it back on him. Can you give me bus money, then?

“What? No! You’re not taking the bus all the way out of town. Anything could happen.” Aneirin turned off the sink water and picked up a towel, wiping down the plates. “Especially with things being...the way they are lately.”

The way they are? JJ repeated, confused.

“Things on my end,” Anti says cryptically. “You could get hurt. I don’t want you out where it’s dangerous.”

Of course. Aneirin was always concerned about danger. Jameson was never sure if that danger was real or just an excuse, but the possibility of it being real was enough to make him back off...usually. What if I called a friend to come with me to the park?

Anti immediately looked over at him. “What friend? Where’d you meet someone?”

It’s a hypothetical question, JJ signed, reluctant to admit he didn’t really know anyone despite living in the area for six years. He supposed that was what happened when you didn’t have a job to meet people and your older brother was a mercenary who’d scare off anyone you met by chance. What if I did that?

“But...but I’ll be away all night,” Aneirin stammered, suddenly hurt. “Would you really want to celebrate without...no, that’s selfish, I know it.” He laughed. “I guess I just expected family to stick together for birthdays. I mean, I always clear my day up for you, which isn’t easy.”

But you didn’t clear your schedule for my day, Jameson signed, expression blank.

“I did! But this is an emergency. I’ll be here until nightfall, and I got a cake and everything so we could have dessert together.” Aneirin smiled softly. “We can go to the park tomorrow, or the day after. For now, I...I got you a present. I mean, that’s what you’re supposed to do, but...” He looked down. “Well...nevermind. I guess I couldn’t stop you if you wanted to leave right now.”

After a long pause, JJ sighed. Anti really was too good at this. And it wasn’t like he could sneak out and go there on his own, anyway. First, he didn’t know where Anti kept the cash or his credit card, and second, Anti had installed security cameras around the house a few months ago, making that impossible even if Jameson could find bus money. Alright, I suppose we could go there some other time, he signed.

Aneirin’s expression lit up. He leaped forward and wrapped Jameson in a tight hug. “Oh, thank you, Jamie. You’re so sweet. I love you.”

Jameson pulled back a bit. Love you, too, he signed.

“Oh, c’mon, you can’t say it?” Aneirin ruffled JJ’s hair, ignoring the way he immediately fixed it. “I think something like that needs to be said.”

A pit of dread opened up in Jameson’s stomach, but he knew he had to go through with it, or Anti would keep bugging him until he did. “Luh...luhf y-oo. Annn.”

“There we are. Now, how about I go get that cake?”

——————

JJ snapped out of the memory with a shudder. It had been a while. And he’d been glad of that at first. But then he met Chase, Marvin, and Jackie, and realized that quality time wasn’t supposed to be difficult and end with him always giving up what he wanted. Well, he was still working on that. It made up a lot of his discussions with his therapist.

But that wasn’t the point. The point was that he was actually looking forward to his birthday, for once. He was sure it would be fun, even if he met up with Chase and Marvin separately instead of together.

He realized that he’d been standing there, spacing out, for a while, and the water for his tea was already boiling. He hurried to take the kettle off, and busied himself with the next steps. It was only a few days until his birthday. Things would be alright.

——————

Jackie was asleep. Anti could see him from where he was standing in the bedroom doorway. Idly, he recognized that being in that position for so long was probably doing some damage to Jackie’s body, but he didn’t care enough to move him somewhere else. It wasn’t like there was that much room in the apartment anyway.

Of course, that would start to be a problem when more people started to join him. Anti was already working on getting a second safe house, but it might take a few more days.

He slowly closed the bedroom door, leaving it open just a crack. There wasn’t that much in the room, just a bed, a dresser, and a desk with a chair. Anti sat down, and picked up his phone from where he’d left it on the desk. He flipped through the photos he’d taken a few days ago. The address of Jameson’s apartment building was clearly visible. He hadn’t been back there since that day. It wouldn’t do to be spotted, and therefore put JJ or others on their guard. No, they had to lower their defenses. And when the time was right, Anti would swoop in. He was already developing a plan.

His phone vibrated, and a notification appeared at the top. Looked like someone had a job offering for him. Anti clicked on it, reading quickly through the proposal. It wasn’t anything special. Just a target he didn’t know, without any special qualifications. Someone just wanted someone else dead and didn’t want to do it themselves.

“Think over it,” he decided, switching off his phone. There wasn’t a rush.

So, while he was here...Anti glanced over at the small turquoise notebook on the corner of the desk. After a bit, he picked it up and started scanning the handwritten pages. Always fascinating to read a professional’s take on someone’s mind. Though the analysis wasn’t the most important thing in the book.

Anti chuckled to himself, and flipped to the back. The keycard was still safely tucked close to the spine, in between the pages. Right where he left it. Right where he found it, when he’d decided to snatch the notebook from Marvin Maher’s house. And given the contents of the notebook, there could be only one door that this would unlock.

He glanced at a calendar hanging on the wall. It would happen soon. He just had to work out the wrinkles in his plan. Smiling to himself, Anti returned to his reading, silently plotting out the next few days.

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inscapeblog · 4 years ago

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Is there significance in Subcultures in Design? - Sahriel Nicole Sicat

1. Introduction

I have chosen Subculture in Design; this essay will contain arguments on why sub-culture in design is important and the influences that sub-culture has on design. The way I will achieve this is to define subculture and provide examples from research resources. This essay will also contain information on how subculture has influenced design over the years and how it affects design solutions today. Examples will also be provided to explain further and give proof of sub-culture within the design field, with brief descriptions on how it has changed the design and how it has either improved or not improved from the before and after processes. This essay will be concluded by summarising the information and what sub-culture is defined as in my own words

2. Defining Subculture in Design Subculture is defined as number of cultures that has derived from one main culture.

There individuals share characteristics and interests within these subcultures that have been influenced from its origin. According to YourDictionary.com, subculture is described to be a group of people that have created a culture that contains different beliefs and values from the consensus; something that does not typically align with its wider culture. (Yourdictionary.com, n.a). Bashin (2020) defines subculture as groups that hold values and norms that deal with politics, cultural and sexual matters; he goes on to say that subcultures are an integral part of society as they give balance to certain issues or situations. Bashin (2020) states that characteristics of subcultures cannot ideally be defined or made into list form because the definition of subcultures itself are changing all the time. Although it is known that subcultures are not particularly easy-going when it comes to who represents them and who are suitable for these groups; their overall identity and who embodies it is important. Grimell College’s (n.a) piece on Subcultures and Sociology: Characteristic of Subcultures, covers the general overview of the characteristics of subculture, other points that would define subculture characteristics would be: - Share different meanings. This means that although the identities or values of a subculture are different from another subculture, their practices could be similar or done for similar meanings. - Shared identity. This pertains to the feelings of members within these cultures; Grimmel College (n.a) mentions that people would feel some disconnect but having or being part of a particular subculture, even without physical interaction, made them feel more at ease and like they had more to their individual identities. - Resistance. This mentions three dimensions in which subcultures can take place or engage in. The first dimension can be active or passive, in the sense that it will take the intentions of the subcultures into account. The second dimension or micro level depends on the direction that the subculture is taking their perspectives. The third dimension or macro level happens when issues are being directed to those within political positions or dealing with political issues that are aimed towards the subcultures. - Marginalization. Marginalization happens to subcultures because of their unique traits and personalities that do not exactly fit in with those in the dominant or origin cultures. All these points briefly explain the characteristics of subcultures; it gives a vague overview of how these groups get categorized into subcultures.

3. The significance of Subculture in Design in identifying and solving a design problem

Subcultures in design shows major significance because the community of designers can be said to be or contain its own subcultures, for example you get graphic designers, fashion designers, architects and so much more. If you had to think of it in this way, subcultures can create communities for individuals to feel more comfortable in their interests, as they are able to share it with others who share those interests or values. “We can therefore conclude that graphic design is a communication form that utilizes the visual aspect of communication to transmit certain ideals or to stimulate particular feelings and emotions from its audience.” (UK Essays, 2018) Good Therapy (n.a) speaks about how subcultures can affect mental health; although this is a broader topic, it can still apply to the field of design. I say this because designers are put under a lot of pressure, this can be due to deadlines, time constraints, any mishaps that may occur during the planning and the execution processes. All these factors can aid to stress and can cause further issues that deal with mental health or health in general. Good Therapy (n.a) continues to say that within subcultures, communities are formed and people use this as an outlet or a place to feel more comfortable with themselves. This gives them reassurance in their interests, making it known that they are not alone and there is a place for them within society. If you had to put subculture in design within the context of how it has affected design over the years, then I would say that its significance still applies. I say this because design is influenced by traditional and culture, the styles and colours take a lot of inspiration from what is occurring around us. If dominant culture can influence our way of design and visual imprints on the world then so can subcultures; design can evolve and cater to any demographic it chooses, if done correctly and with the right message and/or intentions. Batagoda (2019) writes about the importance of looking at cultures and subcultures when designing. Some of these points are: - Understand which countries you are doing work for and where the clients live in. - How do graphic design trends change in the countries that your focus groups are? - How the visual language change from country to country? - What is the cultural impact of the country on its design? - What are the most common colours used in the designs? - Understand common font faces, native fonts and how the visual hierarchy is present in the design. These questions are good to ask when you are designing for a client; taking into consideration things such as, the demographic within the area you are planning to design for, their age, ethnicities, needs within that area or community and more. Thinking about the overall personality of a country and how they represent themselves within design projects is important because this is a form of communication to the public, it needs to have a clear message but still appeal to the interests and values of subcultures.

4. Examples of successful application of Subculture in Design in spatial design

How the Great Recession influenced a decade of design

Figure 1: Sarah Lawrence for Vox (2018). Photograph. Vox. This image contains two sets, one of minimalistic style and white being the staple colour, the other half shows a more renaissance scene with duller colours, heavier furniture and very elegant design finishes.

Brooke (2018) wrote an article for Vox on the influences the Great Recession has had on design over the years. She specifically points out minimalistic design and states that the concept of minimalism is to purchase less but better things. I believe that this can be seen in the image comparing two different styles but they still share characteristics in the fact that furniture pieces, lighting, colour and finishes play a significant role in achieving a simple yet put together spatial design. The term to buy less but better things came from a brand called Cuyana, they wanted to encourage their customers with this phrase and with the recession in mind this was an action that become an impulse during the aftermath of the recession. (Brooke, 2018) Within this image you can see the similarities that have been applied when you think of the “buy less but better” phrase. Each space has their own colour palette but they both stay true to its main choice of colour, this makes the space look cleaner and open. The styles of design are true to the era they fall part of but you can easily distinguish that fact the modern-day minimalism holds a crisper style; the edges are clean and everything looks very bright; modern minimalistic design relies a lot on natural light and also using pieces within the space that won’t distract from the overall harmony of the area. If we look at what it is being compared to, the older design style has more rounded furniture pieces and finishes; they also contain a lot more detail but is focused on statement pieces of the room, such as the fireplace, it has intricate designs carved onto it which makes it stand out but it does not take away from the overall aesthetic. Design experts weigh in on the changing face of retail design

Figure 2: Shweta Parida (2018). Design experts weigh in on the changing face of retail design. Image. Commercialinteriordesign. This image is of as store, it contains a flight of stairs which leads to a section of display areas for products.

When we take into consideration of the changes within the economic and how it functions now and how it did in the past, the wants of customers have changed drastically and is still changing. To change the space of retail stores to accommodate customer needs and wants again, Parida (2018) writes about Architectual guidelines and the inclusion of technology when it comes to shopping. Parida (2018) continues to say that buildings would have to change their structure to allow more space or passageway for customers to feel more comfortable when trying to adhere to guidelines of current situations. If we look at modern adaptions and compare it to methods from the past, technology is a large step into change and how shopping can be achieved, whether it be from physically going to the mall or doing it online. Technological advances for retail spaces can also be applied to actual stores within shopping malls. Design aspects on buildings would look at aspects like spacing, lighting, audio and other visual elements that would be the most effective on creating impact on customers. (Parida, 2018).

5. Conclusion

Based on the evidence provided in the previous section of this essay, I would say that the significance of subculture in design is important and still applies to how and what we design today. I say this because, it is evidence that characteristics or styles of design that we call modern, can easily be spotted in designs from the past. We are able to identify that they have been influenced by art movements, clothing trends, economic changes, the people within certain communities and so much more. Taking this information into account, the evolution of design can be considered a subculture itself.

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