#It's nice to see a return to people just being a bunch of gremlins again

[cozza-frenzy]

cw: Contains Rapid Cuts Between Static Images. Watch out if you're photosensitive.

What a fucking weekend this has been.

[maeve-is-annoying-about-books]

Hey come read up on some Steam Next Fest games I tried out

I do genuinely like Next fest, it's nice to see a bunch of indie stuff put front and center for awhile and try out all the fun demos. Naturally, I gave some a spin, here are some thoughts.

Virtua Unlimited Project is very much a love letter to the Mega Man Zero series. The translation leaves much to be desired, which is a shame because I feel like it's going to turn a lot of people away from what is otherwise one of the best-feeling Zero-likes to date. You got your dash, your wall hope, a buster and a sword, but added into the mix are a neat drop kick you can use to bound off enemies. Also gaining a boss's EX weapon regardless of your rank, something the Zero series really could've benefited from. The overall moveset, as a result, leads itself into a ton of neat, fun, and tight interactions in the moment-to-moment. No really, I can't say it enough. Even Gunvolt's physics didn't feel this much like playing Mega Man Zero again. It's clear the devs really loved that game and did their utmost to recapture the essential feeling of it all.

Pepper Grinder - It's what I've come to expect from Devolver-backed games at this point. A nice, single-minded experience that tries to get the most out of an idea. I'm a big fan of the Wario Land games, so I really love moving about and ransacking the stage to get all of Pepper's treasure back. That's great, top-tier motivation for a little drill gremlin girl. The earth-swimming with your drill really toes the line between chaotic and controlled. A sweet spot that asks you for mastery, I think. It's a lot of fun, I love when a game is super intent on getting the most out of one mechanic.

Umbra Claw - Hey remember when I mentioned Gunvolt up there? Inti Creates dragged me into their works with GV and Blaster Master Zero, but lately I feel all their frenetic action has become... Slow and clunky. Look, I broker no joy in being harsh on a creative work but our friend Kuon, the cat, feels so very off to control. I mean even with all of their powers in place, there's no real flow state like the other games where you're constantly moving and reading your foe. I don't feel feline fast at all and it's just kind of disheartening.

Toree Saturn - The bird is BACK(pack). They took Toree's run and gave him a butt slam that sends him careening forward. And for good measure added a homing attack. All of this comes together to make a barely-controllable bird that rockets through stages, gobbling up stars and flying high over pits. Really glad to see Toree return, I'm really a huge fan of these bite-sized 3D collectathons. Toree, Kiwi 64, Lunistice in particular is something of a comfort game. It's relaxing to be able to complete an entire little experience with nice movement in a few hours at the end of the day.

Death of a Wish - Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream. Play Lucah: Born of a Dream.

(I am so FUCKING normal about Born of a Dream and Death of a Wish. Born of a Dream obsessed me until I got every single achievement, and Death of a Wish, the sequel, plays just like Lucah but with enough tweaks to give combat a whole new feel. I love the new character portraits for everyone and the scratchy, sketchy style that permeates everything. I love the consistent battle against guilt to find your own expression. I fucking love fighting off the Nightmares that seek to drag you down, becoming better than this burdensome fate bestowed to you.)

Geometry Survivor - Looks like they made Geometry Wars into a VS clone. Neat. I guess I can argue all day whether VS clones are hitting saturation but the answer is I don't really mind. I like a good 20-30 minute bullet heaven experience, it's really relaxing. And more just means there's an aesthetic out there for me. This was... not that, but I don't think it's the game's fault. I ran into a graphical glitch that spun a neon-magenta polygon across the entire screen at incredible speeds and immediately vomited. I am... Very highly photosensitive. Like severely, so that hard-stopped me. But I implore anyone who likes VS to give it a go.

Shield Knight - I just... Kinda wasn't feeling this one I think. It seems to involve a lot of waiting to get the one type of attack you can parry to spawn. Also the colors are a little too desaturated for me to personally keep track of easily. Light sources tend to blend things so I tend to need contrast. I love the core idea, a knight who can only parry, but it needs just a touch more oomph in what can be turned back at your foes. There's probably a powerup somewhere to do just that, and I might go back to see.

The Land Beneath Us - Radical. It's a roguelike in a truer sense of the word, with turn-based movement on a grid. This one is much more in line with space-dancing, though. You can see the enemies' attacks at all times, and you're expected to be out of the way before they land true. If you're like me you probably find standing still, repeated tapping into an enemy to be a huge grind, but here it's more a matter of managing your position. Each turn is a little puzzle, and that's without getting into its main element. You may assign one weapon to each cardinal direction. You must do so, even, and then it's just.. there. You have to come up with a build and think sincerely about how to arrange it and approach enemies. It's great, anything that can keep me thinking and on my toes is a win in my book, ever since Necrodancer.

Alright that's it, go play some video game demos.

[stressedoutcanary]

Family Matters - Batfamily x Reader

Summary: A surprise birthday party and Batfamily being chaotic.

“That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them”

Warnings ⚠️: Fluff, lots of it, angst because I can’t help myself, Reader has got some parental issues. Hurt/Comfort.

Word count: 2.4k

A/N: I wanted some good dad Bruce content so I did it myself. Also I might have been influenced by a post I made a while back about Bruce and his children. I haven't used reader's pronouns anywhere so it's kinda gender neutral.

I don’t know where I was going with this, my imagines are often like a train derailed from its track but I think it’s fine. So Enjoy ;)  

•°•°•°•°

"Focus (Y/S/N), don't jump in in blind, assessing what action your opponent is about to undertake and countering it out before they can complete that action, this is the key lesson for you today", Batman's commanding voice echoed in the enclosed area of the batcave as he observed you attempting to roundhouse kick the boy in front of you. It was rather rashly executed with the hope of knocking him down which, for obvious reasons, only ended up with your leg connecting with nothing but thin air.

'Damn he is fast when he actually tries.'

"Easy for you to say Old Man! You aren't the one dancing with Mister Duckboy, the teen wonder over here!", you exclaimed, panting as your chest heaved from the exertion.

"Duckboy?!", Tim looked near scandalized as you grinned in return, stealing a glance towards the giggling crowd gathered near the stairs.

Everyone was already in the cave, it was a rare occurrence, it happened only when the issues of upmost importance were being discussed. Today was one of those days; The planning of Alfred Pennyworth's surprise birthday party.

However things usually went a lot less violent, this day every year. The sparring session this year was the result of you messing up, real bad while on patrol last night and since you were around the same age as Tim, he was found to be the most appropriate partner for it. The only drawback was that he had a staff in his hands while your weapons were confiscated, because in Bruce's words 'you rely on them too much'. You were already tired and Tim had a huge advantage over you, if you wanted to win this match you had to be quick and efficient at the same time.

Distracting Tim by your comment allowed you to have an opening, gathering all your strength you went in for a forward strike. Unfortunately he was more than ready to take you on, he crouched down, narrowly missing your punch then proceeded to swipe your legs off of the ground with his bo staff making you fall butt first on the floor.

"Congratulations you've managed to hurt both my ass and my ego, Timbers", You said laying back on the ground, hands and legs spread out and instead of helping you up, Tim joined you on the floor sitting next to you. You gave him a look that was equivalent to 'next time I get the chance, I am going to push you off a roof'.

"Your skills need improvement", Bruce said in his monotonous tone as you grunted knowing that a full ass lecture was gonna follow, but before he could get another word out, Jason chimed in with a statement no one ever expected to hear from him,"You know (Y/N), he's not wrong in fact I think the old man's actually got a point."

Jaws dropped to floor, Tim looked like he just saw a ghost, Dick who was standing near Barbara pinched himself to see whether he was dreaming or not, Damian snapped his neck up from where he was sharpening his katana, even Titus and Ace perked their heads up at the sudden silence that settled over the place. Barbara, Cass, Duke and Steph looked equally shocked.

"Before you all get any ideas, what I'm trying to say is you better pay attention because B over here won't be able to save your ass, 'cause if you slack off the next thing you know you would be in a warehouse with a maniac, getting blown to bits", Jason looked at Bruce with accusing eyes.

'And here I thought he was finally going to say something sensible', you thought to yourself as he continued,

"Take it from someone who has had that experience, you guys remember right? The fact that I--"

"Died, we know!!", everyone groaned at the same time and Bruce looked like he had to physically restrain himself from faceplaming.

"Okay! Guys how about we go ahead and do the thing we all actually came here to do instead of... whatever this conversation was", you suggested, getting up and patting the dust off your clothes.

"Well then someone has got to ask the important question here", Barbara looked around as she worded her sentence,"who is going to be the one to keep Alfred busy while we get everything ready?"

Once again the cave went silent. For a whole bunch of detectives, you all were very, very scared of Alfred, including Bruce even though he will never admit it, lying to The old-butler-cum-grandpa and making random excuses for the whole 3 hours was a thought dreadful enough to make all of you exchange petrified glances at each other hoping someone would step forward to do the job.

"I'll do it", dick raised his hand.

"NO!", everyone snapped and Dick's head tilted with a pout.

"You are good at doing a lot of stuff boy wonder, hiding things from Alfred isn't one of them", Barbara comforted Dick as Damian stepped up next.

"*tt* Since none of you imbeciles have the courage or the ability to do it. I shall be the one to handle Pennyworth. Gordon, Cain and Titus, I will require your assistance", Damian spoke or rather commanded as he went up the stairs, followed by the group he chose.

"Don't mess this up for us, you gremlin!"

"Tim!", you lightly jabbed him in the side with your elbow.

"Ow! What?"

"Be nice", you narrowed your eyes and he understood you were being serious.

"Fine I'll try, but don't blame me if he starts something", Tim shrugged carelessly. You shook your head and let out an audible sigh as you followed everyone else up towards the manor.

•°•°

"That's it Dick just a little to the right...No the other right...No! Not there you goofus! Just...Just get down from the chandelier before it comes crashing down on the rest of us and For God's Sake let Duke handle the ribbons before you somehow strangle yourself with them", you eyed him worriedly.

"Oh come (Y/N) it'll be fine!", the cheerfulness in his voice made you cock an eyebrow at him from below. Duke slid in beside you.

"10 bucks says he will somehow fall within the next hour"

"Oh Duke you should know better, 20 says he'll fall within 30 minutes", you turned towards him with an evil smile.

"What are you both talking about down there?"

"NOTHING!", you both said in unison on which Dick gave you a confused look.

"Oh Hey look Steph needs my help with the cake so, see ya!", you quickly moved to the other side of the room checking in with Stephanie and Tim. She gave you a thumbs up to signal that everything was going according to plan and the place was almost ready. Everyone was laughing, bickering, having fun, it was all very rare and seeing it, a warm feeling spread throughout you.

You smiled to yourself for a moment but it faltered and a frown pulled up at your lips, a sorrowful thought crossed your mind, something you always kept buried deep down. Looking around and seeing as nobody needed your help at the moment you decided to slip out of the chaos, taking slow steps towards the patio to clear your head.

•°•°

Leaning against the railing you thought back to how you left your house this morning telling your mother that you are going to stay at your friend's place for a while and how she just waved her hand at that, not even questioning you anymore. Your mind was completely elsewhere, despite the awe-inspiring dense forest right in front of you, your eyes were lost in space.

You registered, a bit too late, the presence of someone standing beside you.

"It is a nice view, but something tells me that's not what brought to out here, away from everyone else"

"Careful there Brucie or people might think that you are actually capable of some emotions which happen include caring for people", you retorted back at him. It was always a sort of defense mechanism for you, whenever you felt exposed you countered it with snarky remark.

You closed your eyes hoping that Bruce would just walk away. But he didn't. He stayed there.

Bruce leaned on the railing beside you and waited. You took a deep breath, contemplating you next move carefully.

"...Look It's really silly so can we drop it?", you whispered wondering why in the world would Bruce of all people, care about your feelings.

"Talk to me (Y/N). I can tell when something is bothering you, I may not be your father, but you are my family.", unlike usual, his voice was gentle and genuine when he spoke to you.

"I am really not a fan of surprise birthdays", you stated, starting off vaguely.

"And why is that?"

"Because I...It's silly but this one time I spent a whole week working on a birthday gift for my mom, it was like a craft pop up box which had multiple photos of us together, I made that from scratch! everything in it I made that, I worked hard for it, I did it out of love but when I gave her that surprise gift you know what she said Bruce! She said that I wasted my time that she would've been much happier if I had focused on my studies, she never even once said that she liked it and I--", you looked at him with tears brimming in your eyes, threatening to spill.

"I don't know Bruce, it-it just makes me feel sad you know? every little thing reminds me that my mother doesn’t seem to love me anymore. There is this constant thought in my mind that no one cares about me, about what I do for them and I don’t know what to do with a thought like that."

"That's not true, look around you kiddo, you are surrounded by people who would do anything for you, who love you from the bottom of their hearts", Bruce finally looked at you, placing a hand on your shoulder.

"That's the thing! I am not an orphan!", you blurted out and Bruce looked more confused than ever.

"I'm aware"

"No! No you are not. I am not one of those kids you picked up from somewhere, I don't live here, Like I am sure you people aren't even sane, hell! you all make up the most dysfunctional family I have ever seen! I don’t belong here, you people have no reason to care about", Bruce gave you a sideways look, slightly chuckling at your sudden description of the people in the manor.

"But I still love everyone, my mom, you, every dumbass inside the manor right now, no matter much pain they cause me and I don't get why", this time when he looked at you, you didn't look like the vigilante who sucker punched The Riddler in the face last night, you looked like a scared little kid who is lost.

Bruce stood up straight and wrapped you in a hug. Something you never expected to happen in a million years. The shocked settled in after a bit and you wrapped your hands around him, burying your face in his chest.

"The people we love are still people at the end of the day. They act out, and sometimes they let us down, hurt us even, but that doesn't mean we stop loving them. For every bad memory, there will always be a good one that will get you through it. I promise you that (Y/N)", Bruce pulled away and gave you a warm smile. You couldn't help but smile back, your face matching his.

"Okay who are you and what have you done with Bruce Wayne? because I don't recognize this man who is full of emotions and on top of that, is giving free hugs right now", you broke into a grin, making Bruce's face go back to the stoic version.

"If you tell anyone, I will deny it"

"Sure you will"

Suddenly a clattering sound came from the hall, alerting you both. This, however, was followed by a 'I'm okay!' By the one Dick Grayson, which in turn was followed by Duke's 'Oh no!'

"Any idea what that was about?", Bruce inquired raising an eyebrow as you burst out laughing.

"That, you big softie, was the sound of me getting my 20 dollars, now let's get back before they destroy everything."

•°•°

You and Bruce entered back into the hall, everyone was gathered around waiting for Damian and his group to signal the beloved butler's arrival. You stood next to Tim as Jason moved towards the switches to turn off the lights.

"Okay I'll bite why are you covered in frosting before the party even started?"

"Steph", Tim replied, too tired to elaborate, leaving you giggling.

Barbara, Cass and Damian rushed through the door, looking close to terrified, with Titus tagging along.

"He is here, HIDE!", Damian said quickly closing the doors.

After a few moments, the door creaked open and Alfred's voice came through, "Master Damian, you and I will have words for what you did to-- Oh my", he was stuck to his position at the door, too shocked to say anything more after looking at the decorations and bunch gathered around an enormous cake.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALFRED!!", you all exclaimed with extreme excitement.

As the party went on you noticed that there was, in fact, a broken chandelier broomed to the side, later on there were a few not-at-all-safe stunts performed by the boys, some really bad puns made by Dick, all sorts of shenanigans by the others and cake, lots of cake. You looked around, everyone was busy doing something but now you knew Bruce was right:

You have one hell of a family, original, found or otherwise. And you love them all no matter what.

°•°•°•°•

Tags: @thesesickfics-justmakemesick

[diyeoracha]

fanfic recommendations

for @kittensocute bc i heard “atsukita” and “iwaoi” in reference to fanfiction and i am There

i took your “i love slow burn or slow build fics... so i like relatively shorter burn fics (20-30k). If its a 10k oneshot slow burn hELL SIGN ME UP” and absolutely ran with it.

i listed my fav iwaoi fics (17) with a longer word count (longest is 80k) that are all mostly either canon compliant or divergent with only two straight up AUs. none of them feature heavy nsfw content and most if not all are tagged as friends to lovers lmao. feel free to read the my thoughts or just go into them blind!! and they’re all in order of how much I absolutely adore them :^)

now atsukita is not a big ship *sobs* but here are some of my favorite fics (7) of them! a lot of them are shorter bc i guess that’s just. what happens when it’s a small ship LOL. 

the formatting in this is fucked if you open it from ur dash but if it’s on my actual blog it should be fine!

Iwaoi

the courtship ritual of the hercules beetle

Word count: 66k

thoughts: my absolute absolute absolute favorite iwaoi fic. the characterization, the fact that oikawa’s a bastard but because he and iwaizumi are older (late 20s i believe), it feels more realistic and sad rather than oikawa being a bitch for the sake of it. spoiler alert it’s slow burn and pining and mostly oikawa not realizing his feelings. this world building is pretty cool bc iwaizumi is the professional player while oikawa is an entomology professor! also i love non-linear narratives bc of This fic. there’s mutual pining in this fic but it’s really really really subtle to the point where you dont even know if oikawa likes iwa. this made me cry like twice.

sunset towns

Word count: 33k

Summary: In the summer of 2020, Oikawa Tooru returns home from his first successful stint as captain of Japan’s national volleyball team. In one hand, he holds the undisputed weight of an Olympic medal, and in the other, his unresolved feelings for a childhood best friend.

thoughts: the tone in this is So similar to the courtship ritual that I liken this as an alternate story even though it’s still oikawa’s pov. professional player oikawa and regular guy iwaizumi and oikawa is just. bumming around at iwaizumi’s place and naturally he messes up but things happen.

told before and told again

word count: 4k

thoughts: i looked through literally all the tags i could’ve thought of for this and nearly cried when i found it agian. outsider POV!!

In damp earth my body

Word count: 15k

Summary: Onscreen, the nation’s favorite setter has arranged himself so that he’s bowing, forehead pressed to the court, like he’s thanking everyone for their kindness thus far, like he’s asking for forgiveness. Hajime thinks: shit, it’s really happening

thoughts: oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and they blur the line between roommates/best friends and being fwb. this is an iwaizumi pov and the pining is obvious on his end. as a iwa stan the tone made me feel weird bc it makes it seem like iwa cares more abt oikawa than he cares abt himself but. its a good fic

i grew up, you grew down

word count: 19k

thoughts: this is also SO funny bc basically oikawa retires and moves in with iwaizumi and becomes his stay at home wife and a bunch of shit happens like people think that oikawa is dating ushijima and oikawa basically loses it every time. here’s one of my favorite quotes:

“Oikawa also bought a new ultra-strength vacuum cleaner he’d decided to name Ushiwaka out of sheer spite, because it sucked all the air right out of the room. Iwa-chan didn’t think the joke was that funny when Tooru told him, which was frankly very hurtful and insensitive.”

Mint

Word count: 19k

thoughts: iwaizumi is moving and oikawa planned a perfect last hangout and it goes to shit featuring matsuhana. oikawa pov where he pines more than iwa which is something i can get behind!! and this was written in 2015 and iwa’s moving bc of a sports medicine program so iwaizumi stans know and love him sm ;;

Almost a Stranger

Word count: 16k

thoughts: same premise as mint LOL except they’re on a trip together and there’s more non-linear narrative!! this one is a little more mature in tone than mint i would say (funny how people just like splitting them up and throwing them in different countries huh)

with every second that you could give

Word count: 9k

Summary: The journey of Iwaizumi and Oikawa going for gold.

Quote: He knows they’re too close. Iwaizumi knows it too, and they both decided to move in together anyway.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates and they’re both obviously and really pine-y for each other and everyone sees it but them. srsly. they’re sleeping in the same bed. like my god

Lost in Translation

Word count: 9k

Summary: Because misfortune come in threes, Iwaizumi Hajime starts his Thursday having a screaming fight with Shittykawa, spends his lunch break listening to the UCI women’s volleyball team gossiping about how Ushijima Wakatoshi had gone public about his longtime love affair with Oikawa Tooru, and closes out the day by drunkenly dropping his phone into a sewer grate.

thoughts: so funny. so sososoosso genuinely funny. the tone is so snappy and iwaizumi honestly just sounds like a confused teenager (which he is in this) and it gets extra points for including a lot of american culture that a lot of the other iwaoi college au ones don’t include for like. obvious reasons lol.

Something Borrowed

Word count: 16k

Summary: In which Oikawa and Iwaizumi have always been a foregone conclusion to everyone else, but a massive, unanswered question to one another.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates thats abo but it’s like. mentioned twice. whiny and possessive oikawa makes an appearance in this but it’s done really well

things that change, things that stay the same

Word count: 8k

Summary: Oikawa realizes he’s in love with his best friend; it sucks for a while. (But only for a little while.)

thoughts: high school getting together!! my second iwaoi fic ever and this one is just. so sweet. just an unsure oikawa realizing iwaizumi might be more than someone he wants as a best friend. this fic is honestly really really lovely.

galaxies, within you

Word count: 21k

Summary: Hajime and Tooru move in together at the start of university. Too bad they’re stuck with the two gremlins that haunt their apartment.

thoughts: ok this fic was so funny. theyre uni roommates and matsuhana just come fuck shit up and they all act like idiots together even though they go to different schools. and this really throws me back to university days.

Thirty Years and Change (the Games of the XXXIII Olympiad)

Word count: 19k

thoughts: pro! oikawa and iwaizumi haven’t been close for a while until oikawa invites iwaizumi to go to the games with him. there’s a lot of frustration and pining and actually talking about feelings (aka iwaizumi losing his mind and getting advice from people like akaashi)

when it starts to rain, they go inside

Word count: 33k

Summary: “Where?” starts Iwaizumi.“ My parent’s old lakehouse, silly, didn’t you hear me the first time?” OR: Oikawa takes Iwaizumi to his lakehouse for two weeks, post-graduation.

thoughts: this was actually my first iwaoi fic which is funny bc the author doesn’t even like oikawa much and i didnt even ship anything in haikyuu before i read this fic and now im in iwaoi hell. oikawa is really frustrating in this in that it’s basically a really good character analysis on how oikawa comes off as a Mean person all the time bc he’s manipulative and there’s some explicit content

shiver

Word count: 16k

Summary: Oikawa was always the brave one. Hajime just followed two paces behind.

thoughts: iwaoi roommates with oikawa admitting his feelings first back when they were in middle school and iwaizumi putting that thought on the backburner until. obviously. things happen.

Desperado

word count: 80k

thoughts: one of my favorite aus. it’s all from kyoutani’s perspective and it’s almost so au that they’re original characters (if that makes sense). basically iwaoi matsuhana are ex-grifters except iwaoi are estranged and daishou somehow brings everyone back together. excellent world building and reading the pov from someone not involved with the iwaoi drama was refreshing

sing with me a song of conquest and fate

word count: 26k

thoughts: a mythical kings au that’s just. so pretty. iwaizumi ends up becoming oikawa’s servant for some reason and the world building is a+ because you can feel the trust and frustration from both of them build

Atsukita

dreams of me and you

word count: 10k (incomplete)

my second atsukita fic that rly sent me down atskt hell ;; what is essentially post-break up when atsumu gets signed to msby and he’s just Pining and sad for the most part. but the established relationship pre-break up was written really nicely because it just fits my hc of them just being domestic and atsumu being blatantly head over heels

take me home

word count: 4k

i read this this morning and it wrecked me. domestic relationship atsukita?? sign me up

No time like the rest of my life

word count: 19k

mythology au with kita as a regular person and rest of inarizaki as fox spirits! it’s cute and the world building is absolutely lovely but it is an au so they might seem ooc but their core character values are still there

wild blue yonder

word count: 6k

literally full of similes and metaphors and it’s more of an abstract read i guess? but it’s so beautiful and soft and this is exactly how i imagine their relationship

reap and sow

word count: 8k

atsumu confesses and kita ignores him and it’s a couple years after the fact and it’s mostly just weirdly domestic almost roommate like except for the fact that atsumu makes it clear he likes kita LOL. they’re really in character for this!

weightless souls

word count: 2k

pillow talk before atsumu’s first game! the atsumu pov and voice is amazing

if we were both alone

word count: 7k

now this was actually my first atskt fic that sent me down this rare pair hell. it’s an explicit chat fic (both tropes i usually try to avoid) but atsumu types like me (except for the nsfw parts alksfjd) so i guess i like. feel appreciation LMAO.

if you do read like any of these fics pls let me know so we can discuss

♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep12: Brand New Mokuba Just Dropped

My tumblr has decided that it can’t save drafts again. Which sure is a problem I keep having but no one else seems to have...but were back. Back and ready to talk about cards.

First off, lets address the best thing about this episode, it’s the return of The A Team animation team! Dunno if it’s the same ones that did the seasons before, but it is a pretty good team this episode, so there’s lots of that to look forward to. Everyone is now 2 feet taller (Kaiba is 4 feet taller) and there’s just some really nice shots going on. It’s not as shiny as other seasons, which makes me think it might be a different team or a different studio using a different method (you don’t really see them playing with line weights anymore which makes it seem like a different method to me) but still--it’s a nicer looking episode today.

So we start off this episode with Seto begging us all to forget the hell that just happened and just get on with it. Of course, no one’s gonna do that, because yo, what just happened was kind of weird.

And because there’s only like...I dunno...maybe 2 episodes left in this arc? (kind of a quick arc, honestly) Leon decides to do a complete personality reversal. Although, it’s really hard to do a reversal when you didn’t have a personality in the first place...so I guess this more Leon showing us A personality--and I’ll take it.

He’s a little jackass now, but it’s youknow...still Leon so it’s not really that bad. Like we deal with Seto on the reg, so I feel like Leon as a jackass is just like...well that’s just how you play cards in this universe.

Everyone speculates whether or not Seto actually did a crime, and a SURPRISING number of them said he did not! Weird! But hey...I’ve gone over a billion times before, their memory is like when you throw popcorn into the ocean--it just fffzt’s and then it’s gone.

Roland was THIS close to actually saving Kaiba corp a huge hassle for once. This Close, Roland. You almost did it.

(read more under the cut)

I love that Roland has decided to give all these teens maybe the uncoolest nicknames in the entire world, and the teens have not made any indication whether they do or do not appreciate their alliteration nicknames.

But despite the fact that although Roland uses these opportunities behind the microphone to embarrass them just SO MUCH, the Kaibas still persist in having him introduce most of the matches. It makes it feel like the Kaibas freakin love this. They love his Dad jokes. I cannot tell if they are like “yes, please embarrass my friends.” of it they’re like “yes. Roland that was so cool. Yeah Leaping Leon. Good one! You’re so cool!” Because they don’t know what fun is.

Also, look what I see in the sky.

Truly a sign that they have overcome their trauma of seasons 2-3.

Or maybe they had a lot of blimps laying around and this is a completely unrelated blimp? Either way, I’m glad they can still handle the sight of a blimp.

And then, just out of nowhere, Mokuba hit puberty.

Which I mean, it was inevitable. It was going to happen some day. Luckily, we will be getting a new Mokuba this episode to make up for the fact that this one has done A Flirt and it was probably a completely innocent turn of phrase he has no idea is a double entendre but do the writers know that?

And while we ruminate the decisions there, lets bask in the glory of purple staircase.

This is such a purple staircase!

On another, identical staircase walks Leon, who gets to have a discussion with Zigfried, who probably just stood next to the wall and just chameleon’ed in here without getting caught cuz coincidentally this staircase dresses like him.

Freakin Mai?

Anyway, lets start this duel where like...I dunno, it’s a little late to start stealing souls, but maybe Leon will do a stab? (He will not)

So glad the storyboarder is back to kind of flex. I don’t normally see Roland drawn with this much attention. Look at him go. That’s the stance a grown man takes when he’s ready to embarrass a bunch of teens.

Kaiba writes a speech introducing himself, or Roland just kinda made up a speech as if Kaiba hadn’t asked him to do that. Either way it’s kind of a big way to talk yourself up--but he is trying to talk up the theme park so people will actually like...go. So it makes sense.

Also what is this nonsense where people worldwide are watching a theme park opening match? Card culture is so weird because we’ve noticed in other seasons there are people that don’t play cards, and I feel like they’re not watching this for fun. It’s like when I watch news unfold--they’re watching to see if they have to raid the toilet paper aisle and the canned goods again to prepare for yet another onslaught of card nonsense.

Legit Mokuba was like “Look at my bro. Look at how he gave up dueling to throw this nice tourney for everyone!” and it’s like...Mokuba...he just dueled...Mokuba...he’s putting all the profits directly in your pockets this is hardly a martyr up here.

Seto Kaiba decided to inform the world that he would have won if he was actually playing and that was sure a statement he made after losing to Yugi like...3 times now? Several times.

Everyone else converses how Leon’s acting weird. I don’t know why they care all of a sudden, because no one acts normal playing this game, but the plot desires them to care.

Which is when we find out...

...the new Mokuba...

That’s right. He was a Mokuba the whole time. For once we haven’t abducted Mokuba, instead...we have too many Mokubas.

This Mokuba even has hella long hair, too. I imagine if Mokuba proper had a ponytail it would probably look just like this but black. It would have been just--so good if he whipped off that ribbon and shook out his hair and it fluffed into a horrible Mokuba mess, but you know, that’s one of the many reasons why I don’t write for this series. That and I was like in high School when this came out.

(Please admire Kaiba’s head of Security who looks like he’s about to drop a poop out of terror. It’s a really small detail, but I appreciate that the storyboarder had him kind of antsy in the background)

Seto insists that the only one to beat Yugi Muto will be himself and it’s like...I know. That’s why I keep expecting someone to get stabbed by this tiny purple haired Mokuba. But instead, Leon’s too busy feeling mad that he’s not necessarily playing the game for fun.

But he’s still playing the game though? so I feel like Yami doesn’t have many stones to throw here. Leon hasn’t even cheated yet. (As if Yami isn’t cheating basically all the time by being 2 people in one body)

I can’t BELIEVE this show would throw that at me after the number of times I have seen Yami Muto nearly murder other people (and sometimes literally do a murder) out of revenge. Yami is basically a revenge god...like...show...what? It’s season 5, I thought we’ve basically cemented this in. Occasionally the show will just be all “card games are supposed to be fun though!!!” and it’s like...these are the last children on Earth who are playing card games for fun.

If anything, it should be Leon lecturing them on how to have fun. They just murdered a Great Leviathan with cards. Before that they were dealing with Noah, with Marik, with Pegasus, with Bakura. The times that Yugi has just played a game for fun has been...This Arc.

So maybe Yami is just begging himself to have fun for once. Maybe he’s just mad that he can’t play a single tournament without someone getting possessed? Maybe his frustrations really aren’t about little Leaping Leon, and more to do with Yami sick and tired of being a protagonist.

But, youknow, it’s not an anime, unless the protagonist hypocritically can get away with every sin out there and everyone else gets punished for it. So lets find out just how far Leon fell from fun-having grace with a flashback.

This Belle cosplayer went off in like...one of the most hilariously bad accents I’ve heard in a while, it was just so much, I’ll probably cap it because lolol.

But since Leon wasn’t actually in line to inherit the company, he has to sort of hole up in his room for his entire childhood. It’s kinda weird, since we can’t assume that Zigfried will either a.) live forever or b.) have or adopt or raise children in any capacity. But they’re pretty sure Zigfried will live forever, and in this universe--maybe.

Also, I’m really not sure why they have to dress like it’s 1890, but they sure are. The Victorian era just never left the Von Schroeder house. Like these women are wearing corsets to be in that dress, and you can’t BUY a corset to match this type of dress, you have to make your own, and I know, because in Quarantine, I got really into historical sewing videos.

I can’t believe I spent an entire year watching historical sewing videos. Holy crap. I don’t even sew.

But then again...Seto is kind of drawn like he wears a corset...so maybe people are still wearing them in the Yugioh universe? Maybe that’s how their fashion just works?

Guys...I analyze Yugioh fashion a lot but the fact that the Edwardians never freakin left this worldly plane is just...that’s canon to Yugioh. I really just want to sit back and analyze Yugioh fashion with a moodboard and try to connect all the dots logically as if they aren’t just one-off jokes, but I don’t know how I’d fit that on this post.

And like, one of y’all brought up in a comment in the last post that what’s neat about this arc is we are seeing Zigfried as what Seto would have been like if he hadn’t like...gotten cursed by Yugi Muto. So, going off that idea, I think it’s kinda fun that Zigfried’s outfit is a bit of a younger take on Pegasus’ whole look with the wrist lace and a fusion of Gozaburos look of wearing a cravat with a smoking coat. It’s fun to imagine that this is what Seto’s inner gremlin dresses like (which...now I think about it...was a thing from S1 where Yami defeated a Seto gremlin but...I don't remember much about it) Of course, Seto would also be hella dead if he hadn’t gone through the Yugi cycle, but it’s still a fun road to think about.

Plus, when we go down that road, it really makes this arc look even more like it’s just about Seto Kaiba’s therapy sesh to recover from the last several seasons that he’s accidentally (or intentionally??) invited the entire world to watch and that’s very funny to me.

Bro has informed me you can make a deck out of Jerry but could not show me any receipts.

...I mean that is Dartz right?

Like I know all the characters have cards of themselves IRL and all the characters are also based on cards that were made before they were on TV (with the exception of our main cast that was...youknow, a horror manga) but like...

...what’s up, Dartz?

Anyway, our little Mokuba decides to sneak out the house and run around the world at the ripe ol age of ... what I’m guessing is like 10-12, and is pretty sure he can just get away with that. Luckily, the crimes he’s committing are exactly the type of crimes that Zigfried needs.

(Pretty sure their Dad died or is incapacitated but OK, dub, go ahead and pretend that plot point didn’t go down last episode.)

Also, I’m really glad we got a good storyboarder for this part who was like “Zigfried looks...like that?” and still managed to make this character design really work this episode. In some parts they even gave Zigfried those wide Marik Eyes that are kind of ubiquitous with Yugioh. It just needs the right hands to draw it, and then any amount of...this outfit...can work.

So, just like when we met Mokuba in S1, he’s gonna do a duel on Yugi to save his family and probably also like Mokuba, not give a damn for how this game is supposed to be played. Luckily, this time Pharaoh doesn’t have any star chips lying around for this kid to just run around and steal before booking it out the back gate.

Yugi over there with his twitter-brand hot-takes, not knowing the difference between actual brainwashing and blackmail/family pressure.

(WHY IS MAI HERE?)

Look at that hatching!

Ah this is the 00′s content I’m here for! Check out the soft brush! The dodge and burn! Ah! Man this sure was an era of computer art! and stuff like this cost a lot of money to make and it looked ... like this!

Now I’m pretty sure we can make art that looks this dated on like...a free phone app.

PS please do not ever shade your art like this. This is what you don’t do. Do not do this. I will shed a single tear shaped like the Photoshop symbols for dodge and burn.

Also...guys...

next episode is Ep 13. Every season so far this show has been like “we’re normal, everything is normal” getting us complacent until exactly Ep 13, when everything gets really effed up. So...

will that happen? Will they continue this tradition into S5 or has it been a coincidence until now? Excited to find out.

Anyway, if you just got here, this is the link to read these from the beginning in chrono order:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[shesclearlya3]

Summer of ‘84

Xavier Plympton x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3,426

Warnings: smut, language, sex in a public place, au!, all characters are 18+, i’m sorry if this is bad lmao

**using my current tag-list so feel free to ignore**

It was June of 1984 when you and your close friends returned to your jobs at the local drive-in theatre the last Summer before you started college.

It was your second year working here, and you were sad that it would be the last. It was an easy job. You'd work nights only five days a week. It was nice being able to make your own money and have fun with your friends while doing it. 

You were working the concession stand tonight with Xavier Plympton. You had been friends with him the longest out of the bunch. He was one of the best co-workers you could ever ask for. Despite his constant complaining about dealing with customers, he was always armed with perfect comebacks when you were stuck dealing with a Karen. Plus, he did work hard, which was a relief. Some of the other teenagers you worked with were only there for the paycheck, clearly. 

You were particularly excited because you were able to see the screen playing Gremlins and Ghostbusters. You rarely got to enjoy the movies. You were either working the ticket booth or continuously walking around, making sure nobody tried to sneak under the rotting wooden gates surrounding the lot. 

It was just after 9:30 when Gremlins started, and you and Xavier had just finished up the line.

"Let's hope the crowd stays away so we can clean up." he sighed, stretching his arms above his head. The ugly yellow shirts you had to wear rode up a little, and you caught yourself staring before a pair of hands covered your eyes.

"Gah!" you said, and you heard the loud laugh of Montana Duke behind you. 

"Sheesh, you're such a scaredy-cat!"

"I was distracted!" you said, your cheeks burning as you started to wipe down the counter, which was covered in popcorn kernels. "Shouldn't you be with Brooke right now?"

Montana slid over the countertops, going to the pop machine where she started filling up two cups. "We're parched, it's just now starting to cool down a bit. Larry is making us patrol for the next forty-five minutes before the others take over."

You nodded, scrubbing a particularly stubborn spot of butter that was probably from the night before. 

Xavier had laughed at what Montana said, and you immediately knew why. They had been caught in quite the compromising position the first night the theatre was opened this season. You were surprised they hadn't been fired, and Brooke had given two shifts away after the fact to avoid being questioned about it. 

"He's a fucking pervert anyway," Montana said, putting lids on both cups. "I gotta go. Be good!" she called sweetly before she bounced out of the rickety building. 

"I wish these fucking fans would work!" Xavier grumbled, fumbling with the switch of the nearest overhead fan. It made a creaking noise, the metal blades moving an inch before it stopped. 

"They're ancient," you laughed, finally getting the spot cleaned. "Candace told me they've been here since this place opened."

"These are like forty years old then, how fucking convenient," he grumbled, before giving up. "You'd think they could afford to replace them."

"Watch your language," you scolded. "We don't need another complaint."

Xavier smirked at you, starting to restock the popcorn buckets. "y/n, you should really stop being so uptight, babe." he teased you.

"I am not uptight!" you gasped, your mouth falling open as you dropped the rag into the sanitizer bucket. 

"Exactly what someone uptight would say!" he retorted, laughing at you, his hands methodically stacking the buckets handful by handful. 

"You won't think it's amusing when you're fired, you ass!" you said, causing Xavier to throw his head back and laugh rambunctiously. 

"That's the least of my worries, babe," he grinned at you, and you felt your heart swell. "What would you do without me?" he said.

"I'd probably actually get some work done..." you mumbled, starting to refill the popcorn machine with fresh kernels. "But I'd have to deal with the bitchy Karens all on my own."

"Watch your language!" Xavier mocked you, balling up the plastic and tossing it in the nearest trash-can. "Hey y/n- oh, someone is coming."

You told Xavier you would take care of the customer as he started restocking the cups, watching as you showed the young boy all of the ice creams you had. He was cute, probably no older than eleven with thick-framed glasses and a toothy smile. 

"Thank you, Miss," he said, before hurrying out.

"I think he liked you," Xavier said as you closed the register. "That's cute."

You rolled your eyes, seeing Larry sitting in the projection room, already asleep. "Shut up, he's young."

The next half-an-hour you only helped two other customers. Many people came to use the bathrooms, but other than that, you were alone with Xavier. You had cleaned up everything there was to clean, and you decided to dig out the book you brought to pass the time. 

Xavier watched the screen through the large window next to the entrance, the portable stereo tuned into the theatre's station. He was very amused by Gizmo, even gushing at the little creature.

"That's cute," you mumbled to yourself, chewing on your lip to keep from giggling.

"I heard that," he said crossly, his eyes on you now.

"I didn't say anything," you shrugged, bookmarking your page. "I'm hungry, I want a pretzel."

"Lucky for you, I popped one in for you," Xavier said, gesturing towards the pretzel heater right next to him. "It should be done now."

"Thank you, Xavier!" you said happily, coming over and taking it out. Xavier watched you, and he reached next to him for a bucket of popcorn he had gotten for himself. He put a handful in his mouth as you started pouring nacho cheese into a plastic container. 

"Hey, y/n?" he asked again, looking at you.

"Yes?" you asked, watching the hot cheese, feeling your stomach growl with hunger.

"Do you remember my friend Chet? He graduated last year?"

You nodded, moving to sit next to him on the counter. "The cute dark-haired kid who is really athletic?" 

"That's him," Xavier said, stuffing more popcorn into his mouth. "I ran into him the other day, and I told him I was working here again. He said he worked here for a season before we met."

You encouraged him to keep going, wondering where this was going. You knew Chet Clancy, mainly because he was a popular jock who dated multiple girls throughout the years. You have only spoken a few words with him in your entire life, but he was sweet enough. 

"Uhm..." he said, looking a little nervous now. You thought it was odd, he rarely became this way around you. "He asked about you."

You perked up, tearing your pretzel in half as you watched him see if he were joking. He wasn't, looking you dead in the eyes, and you could see he was honest.

"He asked about me?" you asked, shocked.

"Yeah, he kind of... Hinted, that he was interested in you."

You found yourself smiling. "Really? I never really talked to him..."

Xavier nodded, "I know. I was a little shocked myself."

You ate some of your food, now thinking about dating Chet Clancy. You never would have imagined it, and not even because you rarely knew him. He just seemed so out of reach. You weren't the "normal" crowd he hung out with.

"Wow... That's insane," you said simply.

"Yeah... But I kind of choked up and said we were dating."

You spit out your tiny bite of food, covering your mouth as Xavier looked at you with wide eyes. "WE'RE NOT DATING!"

"Shh!" Xavier said, almost dropping his popcorn in an attempt to cover your mouth. "I know, y/n, I don't even know what happened," he growled, tossing the bucket aside. "I panicked."

"Why would you panic?" you asked, wrinkling your nose as you picked up your un-chewed food with a napkin and tossed it in the bin. "We're friends."

"I got... Jealous," he replied lamely.

You glanced up at him, and he was looking at his lap, his face wrinkled in embarrassment. You were thrown for a loop. As long as you had known each other, not once did there seem to be any romantic inclination. Of course, you've crushed on him a bit, I mean, who wouldn't? He was funny, charismatic, gorgeous, and saw something in you that he wanted to be your friend.

"Why?" was all you managed, your voice hushed and confused.

"It made me realize that I like you. And we're not little kids anymore. If I didn't tell you how I felt, then I might lose the opportunity to tell you." he said, before laughing dryly, "I guess it took another guy being interested in you for me to wise up and stop being an idiot."

You started to grin at him, and Xavier looked relieved. "Does this mean you're not mad?" 

"I'm not mad," you assured him, putting your food to the side. "I'm just surprised. I never would have thought..."

"Babe, I'm clearly head over heels for you, I tease you relentlessly because I like to make you laugh. And I like when you get snappy with me." he grinned at you, his eyes sparkling as you heard a group of teenagers pile into the bathroom, giggling. 

You scooted closer to Xavier, and you could smell his body wash. "I just thought it meant you liked to pick on me." 

He threw his arm over your shoulder, pulling you into his side. "I do, with love."

After that, you had spent the rest of Gremlins talking, sitting close to each other, and giggling madly. You had to go back to work once intermission started, and you felt your heart-beating wildly every time you heard Xavier's voice. You listened as girls giggled and whispered about him, cashing them out with a broad smile. At one point, you heard him go, "Sorry, ladies, I'm taken."

When the last movie started, you turned off all the machines, cleaning everything down quickly. The one thing you liked about this theatre is that intermission was the final call. You'd have time to clean up and be on your way home before the second movie was even half-way through.

You had set aside some food for the others while you finished up. Brooke Thompson and Montana came in, taking some leftovers and asking if you wanted to watch Ghostbusters. 

"We'll be out in a bit," Xavier said, gesturing to the broom he was holding. "Whoever worked in here last time did a shit job."

"Cool, we'll be in my car!" Montana said, before scurrying out with Brooke, their arms full of popcorn, soda, and nachos.

"I'm so ready to skip this joint!" Xavier said after he finished swimming, and you switched off the first set of lights. 

"Me too. Are there any nachos left?" you asked, locking up the safe.

"Just enough for the both of us," he replied. You stood up, walking over to him, and you ended up tripping over your shoes, colliding with his chest.

"Oh shit, you alright?" he asked, grabbing you tightly.

"I'm fine!" you laughed, looking up at his figure towering over you. "I think I tripped over the crack in the floor..."

Xavier stared down at you, and you felt his hand come up and brush against your cheek. You felt your skin tingle underneath his touch. "We're gonna get caught."

"I don't care," Xavier whispered before he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.

You held your breath as you melted into his touch. You've been in a few relationships before in your time, but nothing ever compared to what you were currently feeling. Xavier held your head in his hands, your kiss becoming more heated until you felt him pulling you towards the back, where the storage was kept.

"We're gonna get-."

Xavier cupped a hand over your mouth, pulling you into the closet before shutting the door. There was a single light hanging above you that he flicked on, and you could barely see the movie screen from the rectangular window sitting high above your heads.

"Trust me, Babe. If you're quiet, we'll be fine."

You nodded, holding onto him as Xavier pushed an empty box onto the floor, lifting you up and setting you on top of a sturdy table. There wasn't a whole lot of room. He reached over to lock the door.

"What are you doing?" You asked, kicking off your shoes. You were wearing denim shorts, and the air around you was much colder than you expected. You got goosebumps as Xavier played with the button of your shorts.

"Could I take these off?" He asked.

You nodded shyly, biting your lip as he slowly unbuttoned them, the only sound being your shared breathing and the zipper being lowered down.

"Have you done this before, y/n?" He asked, his hands gripping the waistband of your shorts.

"I've done a few things..." you said, your cheeks becoming hot.

"I'll be gentle, I promise." He said, before starting to tug your undergarments off. You lifted your hips, and he quickly let them drop to the floor. Outside you could hear the audience collectively laughing at something.

Xavier shed out of his shirt, throwing it on the nearest shelf. He wasn't overly muscular but was nicely toned. You've seen him shirtless many times over the years, but this time was different. He was beautiful.

"Are you enjoying the view?" He asked arrogantly, flashing you a smile as you instinctively crossed your legs. "Ah, spread them for me, babe." He kindly scolded.

"Of course, I am!" You respond, "You're hot, and you know it, babe."

"Cute," he winked at you, before looping his arms underneath your legs. Your breath caught in your throat as he pulled you closer, spreading your legs out for him. You could feel how wet you were against the crisp air, and you wanted to die from embarrassment at how easily you became aroused.

"Remember to stay quiet." He said, grinning at you mischievously. "You don't want to get caught."

You squeezed your eyes shut at his arrogance. "Fuck you."

The words had barely left your mouth when you felt his tongue lick a quick swipe along your thigh. You shuddered at the feeling; your stomach trembling as Xavier purposely teased you. You weren't lying when you said you have a little experience. But, you never received oral before. You gave it once, and that was it.

You let out a quiet gasp as he finally licked along your folds, your hands itching to grab onto his hair already. You refrained, lifting them above your head to keep from messing anything up.

Xavier was skilled as he ran his tongue gingerly along your folds, before pushing his tongue inside. The feeling caused hundreds of butterflies to fly over your stomach. Your thighs clenched as he adjusted his hold on you, kneeling down to push his head deeper between your legs.

"Oh, fuck!" You said a little too loudly before you felt his hand covering your mouth. You mewled and sighed against him as Xavier slowly ate you out. You always heard from Montana that it was one of the best feelings in the world, but you never imagined it being quite like this.

Nor did you ever expect to be here with Xavier, but life was crazy.

You grabbed onto Xavier's arm as he started sucking on your clit. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head when he teased your entrance with a single finger, barely testing the waters.

You were lost in the feeling when suddenly the door handle rattled. You jumped out of your skin, nearly trapping Xavier between your thighs when you heard the security guards' high-pitched voice. "Fuck! Larry must have locked it before he left."

Xavier freed himself, prepared to cover you with his body when the voice of Mason, a co-worker say, "It's fine, we'll just have to look in there tomorrow. I can't find the key anywhere."

You heard their footsteps fade away, and you and Xavier both glanced at each other, before giggling madly.

"I'm sorry, y/n," he whispered in your ear.

"It's not your fault?" You said, running your hand along his face now.

"I'm gonna go back down here now," he said, kissing your hand before slinking down your body again. You let him go, now covering your own mouth as he grabbed your legs, his mouth instantly closing over your clit.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged, his fingers once again teasing your entrance. "I'm gonna make you cum in my mouth."

Xavier continued until you were shaking so severely that he had to hold you down by the hips, almost forcing you to keep your legs open. Xavier pumped a finger inside of you, his thumb meeting your clit while his tongue teased it simultaneously.

You came in minutes, sighing loudly against your hand as Xavier cleaned you up, before placing kisses along your thighs. You breathed heavily as you sat up, quickly taking off your shirt, revealing your bra.

"Fuck, y/n," he said, allowing you to unbutton his pants, your hands fumbling to get them off as soon as possible. "You're hot."

"And horny, so please take off your pants." You begged, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra. When you were completely naked, you stared at Xavier's dick, wondering how in the hell it was supposed to fit.

"Don't look so scared, babe," Xavier said, cupping your cheeks in his hands. "Have you?..."

You shook your head, "I never got this far."

Xavier nuzzled your neck, and you wrapped your legs around him as he kissed along your skin, trailing along your collarbone before placing kisses on your jawline.

"Do you have a condom?" You asked, suddenly having an epiphany on the importance of safe sex.

"There's a box behind the pack of lightbulbs," he said, and you pulled back to look at him. "Chet told me about them, I swear."

Xavier wasted no time grabbing a condom from said hiding place, and you watched as he slid it on with ease. You wrapped a leg around his hips again, and he hugged you while he pressed kisses to your face.

"Let me know if I'm hurting you, baby girl," he whispered, and you nodded, holding him tightly.

You focused on the sound of more laughter from the audience, keeping your breathing under control as Xavier slowly pushed inside of you. He felt you tense up, holding you tightly and not moving until you encouraged him to do so.

After a few moments, you told him to move, figuring it would worsen before it got better. Xavier nodded, still holding you tight as he rocked his hips into yours, both of you panting as you grew more comfortable having his dick inside of you.

When you felt a lot better, you laid flat against the table, keeping a leg wrapped around him while he increased his pace. Xavier's face was screwed up as the pleasure coursed throughout your body. His large hand reached forward, grabbing at your breasts while you attempted to keep your moans at bay.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck," you said, trying to keep your leg from slipping off his hip.

"You're so fucking hot, babe," he said, leaning over you until you were almost nose to nose. "I want you to come for me, y/n,"

You shook your head, not wanting this to stop.

Xavier hid his laugh, increasing his face slightly. "You're going to fucking come for me, y/n."

"Make. Me." You said through clenched teeth.

Xavier laughed now, adjusting your free leg enough to easily slip his hand over your clit. He rubbed you out with his thumb, focusing on you, wanting you to come before he did.

"That's it," Xavier cooed as you finally clinched around him, crying out behind your hand as he slowed down, watching as you coated his length. "Fuck..."

You dug your heel into his skin as Xavier came, his hips stilling as he kneeled over you, kissing you deeply. You were breathless as he kissed you fiercely, hardly allowing you a break until he climbed off you.

You sat up, feeling light. "That was amazing."

Xavier grinned at you, pulling on his boxers after taking off the condom. "It's all you babe, not me."

taglist: 

@the-walking-daryl @trichy-knitts @shydragonrider @thefandomzoneisdangerous @lemonwhiskers @jetblackpayne @langdonsvcrd @okoktrinity22 @uwonman @stefanmikaleson1864 @sevenwonderwitch @rubbrninja @iamnotjesha @leatherduncan @imshakingandcryingrn @bratzblitz @goblackcat69 @brookethompsonownsme @bookoffracturedescapes @zodiyack​ @bitchchatter @shydragonrider​ @guiltyfiend @psychobitchtess  @aangrana  @thexmancometh @wtfcas @pleasforhelp​ @capshoney @agentnightshade44​ @frenchlangdon @morganelizabeth-99 @fathoe69333​

[dreaminpeaches]

Humble Pie AU Headcount!

Aye, here's a cool concept I saw from @paraesthetics

and @maddgicalgirl two really cool creative peeps who posted about their AUs for their paracosms, Memento Amouri and Zombie Lane! I don't have as many as them and they're not as cool as any of those but we go:

Humble Pie - OG paracosm, Beau, a former high school bully and star football athlete returns to his home town after flunking college, coming home brings back both nostalgic and bitter memories of his past, his memories haunt him so bad that they manifest into a alter ego of himself called "Stye" who makes a deal with Beau that if he can get at least half of the people he bullied to forgive him, then Stye will leave Beau forever, but if Beau fails Beau has to leave forever (either by running away, isolating himself from others even his friends and family forever so he doesn't hurt anyone else never to be seen again or ........), at the same time he finds himself falling in love with the new dorky girl in town

Bodyswap AU- this isn't really an AU more like a weird dream Beau has after eating some weird cake his little sister made for him and he was too nice to say no (it had glitter in it), the events only take place for about a day, but its basically a Kimi No Nawa (Your Name) parody just with alot of more comedy where Beau and Bonnie swap bodies, Beau spends the day in Bonnie's body as an angry gremlin woman, and Bonnie spends the day in Beau's body as a pretty boy. They both struggle with each other's usual tasks Bonnie struggles to fix cars and Beau having to wear a maid outfit, and doing anime dances on the spot while having to playfully flirt with a bunch of nerds at Bonnie's maid cafe job. Bonnie in Beau's body has more heavy moments because she can see Stye and meets him for the first time, Stye knows its not Beau in his body so he can't have as much "fun" toying with him as usual, but kind of with the "help" of Stye Bonnie is able to hop through Beau's memories (mostly his childhood ones), a lot of the memories stop halfway through or are purposely faded because how heavy they weigh on Beau's mind. Devin is the one who tries to research and help Bonnie and Beau get back to each other's bodies because while most of Beau's family welcomes Beau's brighter attitude, Dev is the only one who knows something is up.

Genderbend AU- In this AU Fem! Beau was a star cheerleader as a Regina George type of bully, telling lies, spreading rumors, and subtle causing chaos throughout the school while being seen as a beloved queen at the same time, she too flunks out of college, and returns with regrets, but as where Beau takes on a more punk cowboy aesthetic, Fem! Beau adopts a more gothic rockabilly witch aesthetic, Fem ! Beau always had an interest in witches/witchcraft since she was little (because her dad would read her a bunch of fairy tales and Fem! Beau always found the witches to be the more interesting characters in the stories) but was often made fun for it to the point where she kept it a secret, but now returning to her hometown, Fem! Beau decides to fully embrace her interest she dyes her blonde hair black and starts to study witchcraft in an effort to combat the bad vibes she's been feeling. Whereas original Stye is more of an evil Jojo Stand, Fem! Stye is more along the lines of a mix of Tomie and Junko Enoshima, she still enjoys toying with Fem! Beau and doing a noblewoman's laugh, the deal between them is still the same. Whereas Beau's bio dad left him, Fem! Beau's bio mom left her family and Fem! Beau has a really close relationship with her Dad, Lou , who works at the town's library as a libarian, he remarries a nice woman who tries to spend time with Fem! Beau by doing traditional girly activities (a thing that reminds Fem! Beau too much of her past self, but she still tries to grin and bear it), Fem! Beau works part-time at her step mom's boutique helping customers pick outfits and find the perfect outfit for them. Dev is the same tho, but Fem! Dev is a bit more into comics than games but still basically the same nerd (like Futaba from Persona 5), Fem! Beau stilll gives Fem! Dev advice on school and boys (but kind of subtlely telling Fem! Dev that most guys are pigs anyways), Carrie who is now Carter in this is a very rowdy but loveable little boy who is always seen with a cape and a wooden sword that his big sis made for him in shop class, he carries that thing with him everywhere and will fight anyone who's mean to his sisters. Like Beau, Fem! Beau loves her siblings to death and likes spending time with them

Beau has an interest in wild west media, Fem! Beau is more interested in stuff like Grease, Rebel Without A Cause, Bewitched, and West Side Story.

Male! Bonnie is mostly the same like with Dev is more into comics than anime, he has a bigger interest in clowns than mascots and wants to show kids that not all clowns are scary, he works as a children entertainer at a local fun center (like a Chuck E Cheese or Discovery Center), whereas Bonnie was taught ballet at a young age, Male! Bonnie was taught to play the piano, but he enjoys playing instruments like the keyboard, talkboxes, and one of those things that look like a musical note with a face on it (idk what they are call), he's trying to make a one-man-band performance to go along with his performance as a clown.

Whereas Bonnie and Beau meet a lot to work on Bonnie's car, Male! Bonnie and Fem! Beau met up a lot because Carter really likes to play at the fun center where Bonnie works, and when Male! Bonnie first saw Fem! Beau, he thought she was Raven from Teen Titans.

Bonnie and Beau's relationship is like Beauty and Beast, while Fem! Beau and Male! Bonnie is more like Jessica and Rodger rabbit.

Resident Evil Village AU: This one is basically Beau is Ethan, and Carrie takes the place of Rose, and that's it! To be honest, I didn't think how everyone else would fit in this AU (an older Dev might be Chris?? maybe), I just like the idea of Beau going through a ton of crazy spooky stuff to save his little sister, and would totally sacrifice himself like Ethan did at the end if all the chips were down, and older Rose is what I think an older Carrie would look like

Walking Dead (the game) AU: Same thing as RE but Beau lives through all the seasons with both of his siblings, I just dont really dig the idea of Carrie ending Beau like how Clem had to do with Lee (that's too much man), but I could see Beau trying to teach Carrie to defend herself during the apocalypse as she gets older he tries to distance himself a bit letting her be more independent but still nearby if she gets into trouble, I could also see Dev joining another group for a bit because he doesn't enjoy his brother bossing him around so much, he ends up returning but I could see tensions raising between those two in this situation, they would end up meeting Bonnie along the way, Beau would find her a bit annoying at first but end up catching feelings for her. I could see them making their own settlement, and trying to find other lost individuals.

[snowdice]

A Twist of Fate {Part 1} (Everything’s Fine Universe) [Dice Roll 13]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Relationships: Remus & Janus & Patton

Characters: Janus, Patton, Remus

Summary: It wasn’t unheard of for people to gain soulmarks later in life, but it was quite rare. Usually fate was set in stone. Yet, when one’s fated death was prevented, fate had to make some adjustments.

As he fell, Patton may have felt a strange prickling feeling across his skin. He however, was not paying attention to that, far too distracted and confused. All he knew was that by the time he hit the ground, both of his hands were covered with marks. Later when he went home he’d notice even more in other places, but the ones he noticed when he hit the ground were the obvious ones on his hands.

Then, there was Janus. Janus had only one soulmark on his body. At least. He had only one soulmark that hadn’t been burnt off years ago. When he landed on top of Patton, he did not notice the marks that suddenly appeared on his arms and face. Patton did, however, notice two little designs appear on him: one along the side of his nose and the other right below the scaring on the left side of his face. The second was already colored in by the time they hit the ground.

Universe: Soulmate AU and Superhero AU

Genre: The Dice Roll said fluff and it is... but... it’s more fluff and angst, hurt/comfort-ish

Notes: Child abuse, homelessness, malnutrition, acid burns, platonic soulmates 

“Found a 20-dollar bill!” Remus called. He was already on his belly halfway under a bush before Janus could move to stop him. Janus sighed. He guessed he was washing the boy’s clothes today. Again. Of course, $20 was probably worth the inconvenience. The nine-year-old wiggled and shimmied under the bush. “Got it!” he said.

“Good job,” Janus complimented. “Now come back out.”

“Now I’m stuck!” Remus informed him happily, giving a little wiggle.

“Why?” Janus groaned. He knelt down next to the still quite squirmy boy. “Stop kicking Remus,” he ordered. His feet stilled and Janus grabbed him by the ankles before yanking on him.

“Ouch!” Remus said, but Janus knew the difference between actually in pain Remus and being a whiny baby Remus and so he kept pulling.

“You.” He punctuated each word with a yank on his legs. “Knew. What. Would. Happen. When. You. Went. Under. There.”

Finally, on the last pull, Remus popped out of the bush. Janus fell backwards onto his butt. “Yeah, but I also knew you’d get me out and fall on your butt!” Remus said while sticking his tongue out.

Janus glared at the sky. “Why are you always such a gremlin?”

Remus giggled and climbed on top of Janus. He slapped the $20 bill down on his chest.

“The person who lost it was supposed to get bread and milk from the store for their dad,” Remus informed him. “When he lost it and couldn’t get the food, his dad said that he was a liar and probably spent it on something stupid. Then his dad hit him in the face and kicked him in the ribs.”

“I see,” Janus said evenly while internally wincing. It wasn’t the worst information to come pouring out of Remus’s mouth, but still. Ouch. He stroked the hair out of Remus’s face and got a gap-toothed smile in return. “Well, we’ll get some good use out of that money, huh?”

“Yeah!” Remus said. “We could get a cake! A whole cake!”

“I don’t know if a whole cake is the best financial decision,” Janus pointed out and got a wobbly lip in return. “But,” he smiled a bit, “we can buy a frosted cookie from the bakery when we get bread.”

“Yayyayyayyayyay!”

Janus gently pushed Remus off of him and he went rolling in a pile of giggles. “Come on Re,” he said, holding out a hand for him. Remus took it and swung their hands together between them. They walked towards the park entrance hand in hand.

Remus paused a couple of feet before the street. “Change now,” he instructed.

Janus did immediately. He stretched his body up about a foot and pulled it out a bit. He erased the burn marks littering the left side of his face and replaced them with a line of unmarred soulmarks framing the apple of his cheek. He carved a couple of age lines into his hands and around his eyes as well as a few more soulmarks on his wrist and hand. Remus adjusted his grip on the now slightly bigger hand without missing a step. Just as Janus finished the shift, a woman with a baby stroller turned the corner. Janus flashed her a smile and she continued past without a second glance.

He and Remus continued to walk until they were on the sidewalk outside of the park. Janus looked to Remus who was squinting into the air. A few seconds later, he pointed to the right. “Bad,” he said. Janus nodded and led him to the left.

The shift was already starting to put a strain on Janus, but he couldn’t let it go while on the street. Usually he could last longer, but he hadn’t gotten much to eat in the last week and had felt a bit dizzy even before forcing his body not only to shift, but to support a larger than natural form. He’d just have to deal. Remus would tell him if he was in danger of passing out anyway, and soon they’d be able to get some real food with the money they’d found today. There was $6.78 in addition to the $20 they’d just found, so they’d be set for a little while if they played their cards right.

Luckily, the bakery was only a couple of blocks from the park and they’d be able to buy some day-old bread for cheap to eat from there as well as the promised cookie to split.

Remus ripped himself away from Janus when they were a couple of feet from the bakery and slammed his little body through the door. He was up at the counter before Janus could get through the door.

“Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!” he was saying, jumping up and down at the cash register.

Luckily the man just seemed amused rather than annoyed by Remus’s antics. “Hello Jimmy,” he said kindly.

“Hi!” Remus said one more time. “I get a cookie today!”

“Do you?” the man asked, amused.

“He does,” Janus confirmed. “He’s been impressively well behaved for once in his life.” Remus titled his head all the way back to stick his tongue out at him.

The man smiled at them softly. He’d never introduced himself in the time that Remus and Janus had been coming here, but he did have a nametag that read ‘Patton.’ Patton was here most days of the week. It was always him, a teenage girl, or the older woman who owned the place working. Janus and Remus agreed that he was the best option. He was always nice and never seemed to be annoyed with Remus (a feat even Janus sometimes struggled with). He’d even snuck them extra food sometimes which was always a nice surprise. “What’ll it be today?” he asked with a smile.

“Two loafs of day-old bread and whatever cookie Jimmy wants,” Janus said.

Patton nodded with a warm smile and moved to get their order. He was always so unflinchingly nice. They’d seen him interact with all sorts of people in the 6 months they’d lived in this neighborhood, and he was always kind to everyone almost… fatherly. Which was why his hands were always a surprise whenever Janus caught sight of them.

It was odd to see someone like him with unmarked hands. Janus’s own hands were unmarked (at least when he wasn’t shifted), but that made sense. Janus didn’t think he’d make a very good parent if he ever even had the opportunity. The one on his wrist for Remus was probably the closest he’d ever get and that was edging more into sibling territory. Yet, by the way Patton looked at Remus and all other children that came into the bakery (at least the children who looked like children), one would expect his hands to be riddled with marks. Chest unmarked? Sure, he just didn’t want to be all gross and kissy with someone. Face unmarked? His parents sucked or weren’t around like Remus’s. Arms? No siblings or sibling like relationships. But, hands? That was a surprise, at least for Patton. He just seemed like… someone who would want to be someone’s dad. He didn’t even have any anywhere near his hands from what Janus had observed. He had two already black ones on his cheeks, probably from his parents, and he almost had to have some friendship ones on his back, but Janus had yet to catch sight of any others.

“Which cookie do you want?” Patton asked.

“Ooo ooo, um,” Remus said. “Should I get the one with a smiley face or the one with the flowers?” he asked.

“Hmm,” Patton contemplated. “How about this. If you could pick any design to be on a cookie, what would it be?”

“Moggie!” Remus said without question. “Moggie’s my favorite!”

“Well, I was decorating a cake a bit ago and I have a bunch of different colored frosting already out and in piping bags so why don’t I go make you one with Moggie-Man on it?”

Remus gasped. “Really?!”

“Of course!” Patton said, eyes fond on an enthusiastic Remus. “Anything for one of my best customers.”

They were hardly his best customers. They consistently only bought the marked down items like the day-old bread that was only a dollar a loaf. Yet, Janus wasn’t going to argue when Remus was so incredibly excited, even if hand frosting a cookie would take longer and Janus was already a bit unsteady on his feet. Instead of ruining the fun, he sat down at one of the closer tables and took out the heal of the bread loaf. He technically hadn’t paid for it yet, but it’d be fine. He shoved it in his mouth, willing his body to accept the offering of carbs and remain upright.

Remus was bouncing up and down while squeaking as Patton went into the back and returned a moment later with bags of purple, black, and grey icing. Janus rolled his eyes even as he smiled through his mouthful of bread.

“Did you know Moggie once broke his collar bone fighting Speed Bullet when he was only 19?!” Remus gushed. “It was so cool! Speed Bullet was moving too fast and Moggie couldn’t teleport in time and he got thrown off a barn. He would have broken his neck and died if he hadn’t ended up in a big pile of hay.”

“O-oh,” Patton replied.

“The hay had cow poop in it!”

“How do you know he was 19?” Patton asked.

“Uh…” Remus said. The ‘oops’ was clear in his eyes, but he recovered easily. “I invented that part. I make things up sometimes.”

“Ah, well, that’s very creative,” Patton said as he finished up the cookie. He handed it over the counter to Remus who took it with a wide grin and proudly showed Janus the cartoon version of the superhero on it. It was really good, especially considering it was done in icing.

“Thank you,” Janus said, standing up and walking to the counter.

“Yes! Thank you, Mister Bakery Guy!”

“It was no trouble,” Patton replied. He was watching Remus with a grin.

Janus coughed, and he looked back up.

“Oh right!” he said. “$4.52.”

Janus handed over 3 of the dollar-bills they’d gotten earlier and counted out the rest in change.

“Thanks!” Patton said, taking the money. “Have a good day you two.”

“Bye,” said Janus. He shooed Remus out of the door and across the street into an alley. “Anything bad?” he asked when they got there. Remus looked up from his cookie for a moment and thought. He shook his head. Janus sighed and let himself shrink back to normal with a groan.

“You feel bad,” Remus informed him.

“Thanks for the info,” Janus replied. “Very helpful.”

Remus frowned at him and offered the cookie. “You can bite off Moggie’s head,” he offered.

Janus chuckled. “You go ahead and do that. I’ll eat his clavicle.”

“Good choice!” Remus said before taking a bite of the icing superhero’s head. When he offered the cookie to Janus again, Janus took a bite. Then, Remus took another bite. They finished the cookie off in that way.

“Okay,” Janus said. “We have about an hour to get groceries before the shop down the block closes, and then we’ll go home.” Home at the moment was a forgotten about shed in an old community garden a few streets away. Remus said they’d freeze to death in the winter if they tried to stay there, so they’d have to find somewhere else soon. The leaves were just starting to turn though, so they probably had enough time to figure something else out, but they did need to be working on it.

Janus pushed himself to his feet. The bread and half a cookie had helped, and the shifting this time only burnt a little bit. It would be even better once they had something with protein and fat after going to the grocery store. Janus took Remus’s hand again and they made their way to the shop.

Want to read more? Click below!

Part 2

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 150

150

Settling back into Garrison, Keith and Lance were rather rudely woken as Pidge and Hunk slid into Lance’s bed with them, the day after the they’d come home the previous afternoon. Krolia had somehow managed to give them food poisoning. Not that he knew for sure. Yet seeing she’d tampered the possibility was strong. Coran the only one game enough to finish his slice of cake.

Kicked out of the house so their friends could set up for their “Surprise Return Party”. He and Lance had nothing to do except wait until they’d gotten the call from Pidge that they were allowed to return. She didn’t need to call. The pair of them had only gone as far as the back lawn, Lance lamenting over the state of his garden and Keith annoyed his sleep had been interrupted after being sick the previous night.

Playing up the surprise theme, they both had their eyes covered, then were led into the living room. The space had been transformed. A Christmas tree up. Stockings hung. Presents piled up on the coffee table. Kosmo dressed in a reindeer outfit with Blue glaring from her cat tree, not pleased to be dressed as an elf. Okay. So maybe their friends got a pass because of the theme. Wearing a hideous green sweater, Pidge beamed as she waved her arm to gesture to where “Merry Christmas” hung over the fireplace

“Ta-dah! It’s our Christmas do over! I know! I have the most amazing ideas!”

Keith didn’t bother correcting Pidge about it being Lance’s hope to recreate Christmas

“Guys! This is...”

Lance rushed Hunk, throwing his arms around him. Hunk sweeping Lance up with a chuckle

“Merry Christmas, bud!”

“I love you! Oh my god! I can finally give you guys your Christmas presents! And I can finally give you your birthday present! Please tell me we’re celebrating your birthday!?”

Hunk laughed awkwardly as he set Lance down

“Nah, it’s...”

Lance cut Hunk off

“Don’t you dare think you’re getting out of this. I was the worst friend in human history and didn’t call for your birthday!”

“It’s wasn’t...”

Great. Lance was being hyperactive... Seeing his boyfriend hadn’t stopped cleaning until nearly 1am, Lance had too much happiness and energy...

“Nope. Okay. Keith, can you grab Mami’s bag for me? I’ll grab everyone else’s presents...”

That seemed a lot of work and everyone seemed to have forgotten to give him his coffee. Blankly staring, he hadn’t realised Matt was wearing a set of ridiculous antlers on his head, or that Curtis and Shiro were there. Baubles hanging on Curtis’s horns. Groaning, Keith bumped into Matt as he went to turn, not really sure where to go

“Pidge, did you kick Keith out without his coffee?”

Pidge cackled

“Maybe?”

Always loud, Matt started yelling

“Guys! We’ve got a Keith without coffee! I repeat; We’ve got a Keith without coffee! It’s a category three disaster in the making!”

Pidge confessing

“It’s not that we didn’t make him coffee... I forgot and drank it myself”

Well “fuck you” to Pidge. He deserved his coffee. He’d barely got his morning pee in before they were tossed out. No wonder he’d been so sleepy and useless as Lance talked

“Don’t worry, bro. I’ve got you. Double shot topped with tequila, right?”

“Fuck off and get fleas”

Matt laughed at him. Too many people were laughing. Not enough coffee to upright. Lance moved from Hunk to his side, kissing Keith on the cheek

“I’ll put the coffee maker on for you. Don’t worry about Mami’s bag, I’ll grab it. You just focus on your coffee”

Lance hadn’t eaten either, Keith trying to remind him

“Food... you?”

“Yep. Gimme a bit”

Caffeinated Keith perked up. He’d been worried about them coming home, Lance admitting he feared the house would no longer feel like his after all the time he’s spent away from it. So when Lance had gone on a cleaning frenzy, Keith hadn’t interrupted. He’d let Lance do what he needed, despite the fact his boyfriend hadn’t been happy until late in the night and Keith just wanted to go bed several hours earlier. Seeing Lance happy felt right. He knew some of it was an act. And he’d noticed the occasional jolt in Lance’s moves as if he was forcing himself to move, but there was definitely something there that told him Lance felt more at ease than he had in a long time.

Disappearing, Lance returned with his arms laden with presents. Keith immediately trying to help. Vampire or not, Lance shouldn’t be moving heavy things around. His boyfriend laughing as he tried to protest the fact. With the size of Lance’s present pile, Keith couldn’t help but be conscious of the fact his own was tiny in comparison. His nerves over gifting left his stomach rolling, with a cold sweat across his forehead. He’d tried to gift shop on his own as much as possible, but with Rome being Rome and the daily repetition of the council meeting... No. He was making excuses. He’d sucked at gift giving for the others because his head was filled with how much he missed Lance.

Setting the presents down, Keith noticed then that a whole bunch were for Shiro. 7 wrapped all the same way, seemingly from each of them

“Is that everything? Because I want to open my presents already!”

Lance shook his head at Pidge

“Not quite. You’ll have to be patient a little longer, Pidgeon”

Shiro gaped at Lance, Keith kind of feeling the same way. Their Christmas’s were never like this. Staring at their friends group. His brain supplied an unwanted thought. Pidge was a girl and Hunk was a boy. Rieva was a girl and Matt was a boy. Was this party extra important because Lance had already thought about them? That they could be hurt? Or was it just him over thinking things? Pulling the top present off the pile, Pidge threw it at Shiro

“How can that not be everything? And why is there so many presents for Shiro?!”

Lance chuckled at their impatient Gremlin. Pidge seemed mortally wounded at the stack for Shiro

“Mami bought you all presents. Just small things from Cuba. We weren’t sure when we’d be allowed back, so we hit the markets in case we could come back for Christmas. It’s not much, but she did try to think of you all”

“Do you want me to...”

Lance sighed with a roll of his eyes at Keith’s offer

“Babe, sit down already. You’re being overly attentive. I can still do things like face the stairs”

“Okay. I just thought...”

“Stop thinking and sit down. Pidge will divide the presents up. Hunk, do you need any help bringing things in from the kitchen?”

“I’ve got it! But... uh... Bud, please be careful on the stairs”

Matt nodded quickly

“Maybe Keith and Hunk have a point, dude? You don’t have a great track record with the stairs”

The look Lance gave everyone spoke volumes. The stairs were now a forbidden topic that he didn’t want to be reminded about again. He’d healed from falling down them, and they’d all be in the shit if they started fussing over him. Keith felt goosebumps erupt at the look. Swallowing hard, Keith couldn’t remember the last time he’d shut up by a single scathing look like that from his boyfriend. He couldn’t help the almost phobia he’d developed over Lance and stairs. Especially with two very special passengers on board.

With Lance upstairs, Pidge went about dividing out presents, asking as she did

“So when are we going to hear all about Rome?”

Keith shrugged. He supposed Pidge and Hunk had been super anxious in their absence, but the topic of conversation had kind of fizzled out

“When Lance hears about Rome? I don’t know. All I can tell you is that he’s safe”

Pidge huffed, pausing mid-sorting to look up at Keith

“I can see that. I mean, like, is he really safe? We were talking with Shay, and she’s worried about him too. He seems happy but I don’t know. He wasn’t that happy when he came back”

Keith was surprised when Rieva answered

“In his defence, he was exhausted. Physically and mentally. Matt getting us kicked out of Cuba wasn’t on the plans. He’d had a very long day”

Pidge sighed

“I wish we got to go with him”

Lance had been so very missed by his two best friends

“Lance would have loved to have you guys there, but he couldn’t tell anyone he was down there in case you guys were contacted or in danger”

Matt added unnecessarily

“Yeah. Listen to Keith. The first thing he did was lose his shoes, then he made Lance cry. Boyfriend of the... ow!”

Rieva elbowed her boyfriend in the ribs

“Keith was under a lot of stress too. You guys should have seen him. He barely kept his temper under check, too impatient to be back with Lance”

Shiro chuckled

“You guys should have seen him in Rome after you left. I think he must have packed and unpacked a hundred times so he’d have something to do before his flight”

“That’s true. I don’t think he slept the night before he left. I worried about letting him on a public flight with how much coffee he’d had”

Now Curtis was teasing him. Keith looked to Hunk

“Don’t worry, man. We all know how in love with Lance you are”

“The only couple more loved up than you guys are Hunk and Shay. Oh! I forgot to tell you, Shay totally knows everything!”

Pidge dropping a bombshell like that had him, Curtis, and Shiro, all shocked as they looked to Pidge

“What do you mean she knows?”

“Apparently Hunk gets blabber mouth after sex”

Hunk blushed so deep a red, Keith was surprised his head didn’t pop

“It’s... not... I didn’t... Pidge!”

Pidge laughed at Hunk, resuming present sorting

“I’m not judging, but I think you could have picked a better time to tell her vampires and werewolves were real”

“It’s not my fault! She’s... Lance wanted to tell her!”

Okay... but if Shay knew, that led to an important question

“If Shay’s in the loop now, why isn’t she here?”

“Because she’s working. I tried to get her to swap shift. Plus, he didn’t tell her Lance was up the duff with twins. Nice going with that. You and your wonder sperm”

That wasn’t entirely his fault. It was. And took full responsibility, but he still wasn’t sure how it happened. Snarking back at Pidge, he felt defensive of Lance who wasn’t there to stick up for himself

“They were a complete surprise. We’d only just gotten around having one, let alone two. There’s nothing wrong with Lance being pregnant or the twins”

Sensing a potential fight, Shiro forced a laugh

“Leave him alone. He’s super excited about the twins. And frankly, I think we’re all looking forward to meeting them. It gives us something good to focus on”

“I hope you remember that the first time you change a shitty nappy, Uncle Shiro”

Coming back into the room, Lance had much smaller gifts this time, as well as an envelope with something in it that Keith couldn’t help but cock his head at

“What’s that?”

“I don’t know. It’s to you, from Krolia. I found it in my room when I was looking for my phone. I guess it’s a present or something”

That sounded just like this mother. How hard was it to shove something into his hands awkwardly and change topic? It’d worked well for Shiro and Adam. They didn’t make him awkwardly exchange gifts

“Of course she can’t just give it to me like a normal person”

Lance smiled, he could because he faked out of the cake with nausea. Not completely fake, but the only smart move that wouldn’t make Krolia angry or suspicious

“Be nice. I’m sure she didn’t mean to give you guys food poisoning. Anyway. We got these in Cuba. When I still could go out and stuff. They’re not much, but each is heart felt. Mami loved all of you. She loved the bond between Shiro and Keith. She loved how mischievous our little Gremlin was. She whole heartedly agreed that Hunk was like sunshine whenever he’s around. She thought Matt... was a bit... weird, but in a good way. Curtis, you may as well have been my actual cousin. I think she might have even slipped up and said you were. And she found you very exotic and mysterious Rieva. She was very upset that someone would ever hurt you. Mami was a lot better at a lot of things than I am. I guess... I know this might be selfish, but these are the last presents from her. I guess it’d make me happy to know that you’re taking care of them... and... she just loved you all so much. I made on my own for so long, but... she was so grateful I had all of you in my life. She always worried what would become of me after she passed... I know she made Keith swear to be there... but... I really did miss you guys... I’m sorry my anxiety was so shit I couldn’t talk... and I was so scared you’d all never want to talk to me because I had to lie so much... I hated lying to you. I did...”

Keith was the first to move, but they all kind of moved as group. Lance forced into being hugged by the lot of them

“You are the biggest undead idiot around!”

“Oh, man! You’re my brother!”

“You’re part of my pack! We’ll never leave you alone!”

“Group hug!”

The words fell over each other. Lance’s sniffles turned to laughter. Keith not too happy that his boyfriend was being squashed, and that he was being squashed as he tried to protect Lance’s bump, but at the same time he was overwhelmingly happy that they were all together again. Mami knew someday she’d pass, and had entrusted him with being there for Lance. She’d left Lance, but no matter how far their little family split or went, they’d always have each other when they needed someone.

“Okay! Off! You’re going to crush me and the twins!”

Lance gave them a few long moments. Everyone other than Pidge and Keith let go, Pidge poking her tongue at Keith

“He’s my brother. You have to share”

“I’ve already shared enough. Now take your paws off him”

“Laaaaance, Keith is being mean”

“I’m sorry, but he does have a point. Your hugging my belly. Squeeze too hard and I might throw up”

Pidge wrinkled her nose as she let go

“Curse you vomit. Next time I shall have my hugs”

Lance smiled at her fondly

“Will you settle for me sitting between you and Keith?”

“Fine. Now hurry up. I’ve been dying waiting for this”

“Okay. Okay. Calm down. You do know this is Keith’s first Christmas with us. You’re going to have to be nice”

Lance sounded like a dad scolding this hyperactive daughter. Keith clueless to what they were on about

“He snoozes, he loses. Them’s the rules”

“Be nice!”

Opening their presents was a thing. A very different thing than living with Shiro and Adam. They did small gifts, lunch if they didn’t have to work, and movies after work which usually involved falling asleep on the sofa. That was not the case here. Seeing Pidge was so damn excitable she went first, opening all her but one of her gifts before it moved onto Hunk next, and so on around their circle of friends. Lance took his time to explain that normally on Christmas Day he’d be in Platt with Mami until the evening, then they’d do presents at his place. That didn’t explain what was coming after the present part... which he was honestly more nervous about than his own gifts, which were more or less trinkety things from Rome, apart from his gift to Lance which was an old fashioned wrist watch he’d found in an antiques store. He wasn’t sure if Lance would love it, but he seemed to as he was made to help put it on his boyfriend’s wrist almost immediately after opening. Lance’s gift to him was a vintage camera that probably cost a fair bit. His boyfriend also sourcing the film for it, which Pidge laughed over being antiquated and all that.

They all seemed on the same wavelength about keeping Miriam’s gifts until last. Shiro buried under a pile of ugly sweater that Curtis found hilarious, as he’d known about them. Down to Miriam’s presents, they all fell kind of quiet, appreciating that Mami had thought of them all. Keith couldn’t help but not want to open the lovingly wrapped gift. Hunk and Pidge had gifted him a new kitchen knife and a coffee cup. Shiro’d already given him his gift Christmas Day, a new clip on cover for his personal phone so he’d be able to wear it on his Blade suit seeing they’d both probably stick with the Blade suits despite being full time hunters for Coran.

Watching Lance, his boyfriend ran his fingers over the small gift in his hands. Eyes growing teary

“Sorry. I already know what it is... but... She was really happy picking out presents. Honestly, if I’d left her unsupervised your gifts wouldn’t have been quite PG”

“It’s okay, babe. We don’t have to open them right now if it’s too much”

“Nah. She wanted you to have them for Christmas. She’d want you to open them and to smile as you did”

“Should I go first?”

Lance nodded, wiping at his eyes

“Yeah. Sorry... God... we haven’t even gotten to Hunk’s birthday presents and I’m a mess. Mami’s birthday present to you is in there too. I rewrapped them after... so they’d stay together. That’s why your present is a little larger than the rest of ours”

There were still two other presents that hadn’t been handed out sitting on the coffee table. Pidge had left them, Keith didn’t know why. Making to sling his arm around his boyfriend, he used the reposition to see they were to both he and Lance from Miriam. Lance had mentioned she had presents for the twins. It must be those

“Come on, Keith. You said you’d go first”

Keith ignored Pidge. He only had one hand free unless he wanted to put Lance in a choke hold. Thank god he was ambidextrous. Pulling the paper away from the tape, something small dropped into his lap. Picking it up, he realised it was a red stone pendant

“She knew you loved the colour red. It was what caught her eye first at the stall. All our gifts are similar. If you tilt it you can see cat in there. It’s like micro etched in. Mine has a fish. Shiro’s I think is a tiger...”

Keith interrupted. He wasn’t really a pendant kind of person, but this was one of the most heartfelt gifts he’d been given in his life. He wanted Lance to know he appreciated it

“Do the clip for me?”

“Sure. You guys can open yours. No trades or swapsies. She picked each thinking of you”

Rieva and Matt both had wolves with mother of pearl inlay. Curtis’s was a white shiny stone that kind of looked like a pearl. Lance said it was made from a polished tooth, Keith immediately glad he hadn’t met anything in Cuba with teeth a big, and that he hadn’t said he thought it was a stone. Shiro’s stone was black, Keith thought it looked more like a Lion than a tiger, a bigger cat than his, his was cooler because it was red. Hunk’s yellow stone had a sun. Pidge’s green stone a leaf. And Lance’s blue pendant was indeed etched with a fish.

Other than the two presents on the table, Keith thought the line of gifts had come to an end. Picking up both presents, he passed one to Lance, who seemed to be attempting to go cross eyed looking down at his pendant

“Babe, these are the last two from Mami”

“Oh. What. Oh... technically there’s a gift for Allura, Coran, and Krolia... but they’re not here...”

Pidge scrambled to her feet, holding her hands out as if trying to stop them from ripping into the last two presents

“Wait! There’s another two presents from me and Hunk... well, Shiro chipped in, and Curtis helped... hold on. Do we do this now?”

Pidge looked to the group, Matt rolling his eyes at his sister. Keith was slightly jealous of how much energy Pidge had. Then again, she’d probably had a propers night sleep and more coffee than him

“Go on. I know you’ve been dying to show them all fucking week”

Keith playing along with Matt, trying to sound serious and not half an emotional wreck over all the thought behind each present

“Should we be worried?”

“Ha! Rude! Okay. We’ll do the one for Lance first, then we’ll do Keith’s because his bigger”

Matt groaned

“Why don’t you just tell them already, big mouth?”

“Shut it, you. Okay. So, like, this ones from the group. Coran totally helped out. Then it took hours to get it right... wait here”

Climbing on the sofa, rather than going around, Hunk was smacked in the head as Pidge pulled out a ridiculously large flat gift

“Pidge!”

“Sorry! It’s not like you were using your head anyway. Okay. We kind of had the idea but we changed it, and anyway...”

“Dear Sister of Mine, you are babbling. Pass it over. You didn’t even show us before you wrapped it”

“Shut up! I’m trying to do this right. Okay, so you guys are probably better standing up for this. It’s kind of big”

“It’s nearly as big as you”

Matt’s joke earned him a kick in the shin and a huff from Pidge.

Getting to their feet, neither of them knew what to expect. If it was a gift from Pidge it’d either be tech based, or some kind o explosion for leaving Garrison for as long as they had. Rieva suggesting

“Why don’t you let Keith hold it while Lance opens it?”

Pidge snapping back

“I was going to do that! Here. Don’t you dare drop it”

Passing the gift over, Keith could feel what felt like a frame through the wrapping paper. Lance on the same wavelength as him

“It’s not going to blow up, is it?”

“Rude. A lot of love went into this. And we totally ripped off Keith’s idea. Now open it already!”

Lance started with a small rip, then all but tore the paper apart. Eyes filling with tears that made Keith look down to realise what it was

“We got the footage from Coran. It took ages to clean it up and pick the right shot

“Mami’s first scan...”

Okay. So that was it was. Keith wasn’t that great at picking that up from upside down

“Yep. And then down the bottom it’s got us, because we’re the bestest friends ever. We wanted to get you something big to remember it by... it was going to be of us camping until... Mami passed. Do you like it?”

Lance nodded as he covered his face, Keith would have put the frame down but he kind of didn’t know how to, or where to put it

“I do... Guys... thanks... I...”

Lance fleeing wasn’t what he saw coming. Turning, Lance jogged from the room. Keith handing the frame to Hunk, intending to go after his boyfriend. Shiro stopping him before he could

“Why don’t you let Hunk and Pidge go talk with him? He’s missed them. We can work out how to hang the frame”

“But...”

But he was Lance’s boyfriend. Plus he kind of needed a break too. Everything was a lot and a lot at once. Matt lifted the photo frame off Hunk

“Keith, they’ve got this. He’s out the back, if you want to guys want to go. We’ve got this”

Shiro sided with Matt

“It’ll be a good chance to show Lance we can handle putting the nursery together”

Keith unconvinced that they could, yet... Pidge and Hunk had really missed Lance. He’d let them go this time, but next time he wasn’t being swayed so easily

“Go. But go easy on him. His anxiety levels have been pretty high”

Pidge rolled her eyes at him

“We’ve got this. Personally I’m more concerned with how you losers are going to hang the frame up. If you break it, I’ll castrate you all”

Shiro saluted Pidge. Keith internally groaning at his brother feeding the Gremlin’s ego

“Ma’am, yes, Ma’am!”

“That’s more like it. And don’t make a mess! Come on, Hunk, our bestie needs us”

[popculturebuffet]

Loud House: 11 Louds A Leapin Review or It’s My Bobby in a Box

Happy Holidays errybody! Christmas returns to this blog after a bit of a break to tie up some loose ends, and celebrate my birthday with a return to the loud house.  It’s honestly good to be back. While it can be a struggle to cover a pure comedy, I genuinely like the show a lot, even with it’s flaws i’ve gone into, and my regular reviews gave  me a running gag in my hatred of rusty and a new respect for the show. It’s just with a buiser schedule and me not actually trying to have something resembling order to things, I kept shoving Banned Together back despite really wanting to see it since.. you know.. Luna episode.. until it ended up sliding into ANOTHER set of episodes. It’s things like this why I have a queue now: while it’s not set day by day, in case I want to do more than one i na day, it is there to keeep some semblance of order and keep me on track so this dosen’t happen again.  So with all that being said.. why did I choose to do A DIFFRENT loud house episode for the second time in a row before getting back to the current season? Simple.. i’ve been putting this episode off personally for even LONGER. I meant to watch 12 louds a leapin back when it first came out at the start of season 2... and just never got around to it. And just kept never getting around to it, wanting to watch it at christmas but then forgetting to do so for the last 4 years. Spare a thought there.. 4 years. In that time 80 years have passed, an era of marvel movies have come to an end, a tick series has come and gone, She Ra has come and gone, ducktales premiered then annoucned it was ending.. my point is way too many shows are ending too soon, and i’ve let this slide for far too long. So I bumped this one up to finally take a look at it, as i’ve waited this long and didn’t want to risk missing it a fifth fucking time. So yeah i’m taking look at what’s probably a classic episode in the fandom with fresh eyes. Let’s see what I thought shall we? It’s Christmas Eve at the Loud House and Lincoln is once again Zach Morrising it up .

Not what I meant.. whatever that is. It’s been 30 years since that episode aired, probably a good 12 since I first saw it and I still have no idea why they did this or if it was giong to end in a three way before the girls showed up. We just don’t know and the greatest minds in the country are baffled.. and you know working on the vaccine and making sure it’s safe. 

No Linc is talking to the camera about it being christmas while gearing up to go sledding with his sled big red. Meanwhile the rest of the louds are doing their usual christmas activities which we get introduced to as Lincoln gets ready. The girls sub-plots here are, outside of Lori’s., less plots and more running gags, various shenanigans by the girls tying into their personalities and christmasy stuff. It works perfectly.. while it’s a bunch of gags.. the gags are funny and it’s neat to learn more about just how the girls celebrate christmas and what they get up to every year. It’s part of what’s to love about holiday specials as you get a once or twice in a series chance to see how our heroes celbrate the holiday and thus a look into stories, gags and character stuff very unique to the holiday. It also uses the fact LIncoln was the protaganist at the time very well, using him as our viewpoint to set up all the christmas goings on as he makes his way out of the house, so we can cut back to them later as his plot goes on. It’s really good stuff. So what are the girls up to? Let’s go down the list by age shall we?

Lori: Lori has the most involved plot anyway so it’s best to start here. Lori and Bobby are having their first christmas together... though it does bring up the fact that they’ve only been dating 2 years at most, yet plan to get married.. I mean that is a lot but your also 18. Then again time is nigh incomprehinsiable to unpack in the loud house, and at least 3 years passed in the one year it took to get them all aged up, so I wouldn’t think about it too hard.  Lori, still being in huge bitch mode as she was early on, pressures bobby to get a good gift. She later gets said gift but despite being told to open it immideitly, her siblings chide her on her habit of tearing presents open and thus get her not to open it. So that’s a runner through the special, with Lana even putting her on a leash at one point, which I found hilarious. Less hilaroius is the conclusion as it turns out in the box on christmas day.. is BOBBY, who understandably is not looking so good...

Thankfully bobby’s not dead or they all would be, but still the poor boy missed christmas eve with his mom  and sister for this stunt. I mean I get it’s his fault, he’s apparently LITERALLY too dumb to live it turns out and should’ve you know made a noise sooner and probably didn’t want to ruin the suprise.. but we still nearly got an episode where a 4 year old had surivviors guilt for letting her older sisters boyfriend suffocate in a box. That’s dead santa from gremlins levels of fucked up. Thankfully Lori loves it and I assume bobby’s worried family joined them for christmas eve. That image fills my heart with hope. But seriously bobby never again we can’t loose you. At least not before Sergio. 

Leni: Leni’s is very simple it’s just a running gag of her taking various christmas things, making them into outfits then saying shhhh to whoever’s around when she hears, or in later cases is right there, with the person asking. Just a funny bit.  Luna: Is working on a christmas song. It’s one of the weake runners as the failed songs just aren’t that funny, but the payoff for the main plot makes up for it. WE’ll get to that.  Luann: Has one of my faviorite bits, her 12 puns of christmas which is both really adorable and leads to an adorable moment with her dad. Always loved their relationship. 

Lynn and Lucy: Are teamed up this episode which makes me genuinely miss how the two would be used as a pair ocasionally earlier on but just .. arne’t anymore> The rest of the girls status as roomates is used liberally but not so much these two. IT’s just weird and disheartning to me. That being said their plot is simply the two digging around to find where the presents are hidden, which I never got as why would you want to know weeks ahead of time. You can’t use any money to buy the stuff you dind’t get or they’ll know and they usually figure out you knew ahead of time and it just brings thigns down. But from a kid’s perspective I guess I get it and while it’s weird to have Lucy be one of the ones following I like it, as it shows that benath her gothy demanor she’s still just an 8 year old girl excited for christmas, and that’s adorable. A decent enough runner. 

Lana: Gets  a good one: She keeps accidently catching people, and a passing car in one case though she has a jack to help, in her reindeer traps. Its not only funny but really adorable especially since she dosen’t care about trapping SANTA persay, she just wants her own pet reindeer and frankly who wouldn’t want a rideable woodland critter who can fly. Dammit now i want one too. 

Lola and Lisa: Lola gets a fairly standard one tha’ts still pretty damn funny; She wants to get offf the naughy list by playing good for a day. What makes it funny is that last part.. that instead of doing it over a few days like most of this plot she’s trying to cram it all into one day while also trying not to strangle Lisa, who keeps showing up to say santa’s route is impossiuble. As ducktales covered he slows down time.. also you know.. not every kid celebrates christmas so ther’es probably a good number of houses he dosen’t have to cover in one night.  Lily: Just randomly pops out of stockings a bit. it’s precioous as it sounds.  The Parents: It had honestly been so long both since i’d seen a season 1 episode, and since the two had been both given actual names and fleshed out considerably, that i’d forgotten Rita and Senior had their faces obscured for all of season 1. It’s REALLY weird and jarring to go back to after getting to know them as fully formed people of their own over the past 3 seasons, and especally gorowing to love Senior, as he’s a loveably goofy dad but without the incompetence of most comedy dads. He can bumble but he’s also genuinely supportive, talented and pulls his weight in his marriage and family.  We do however start to really see their fully formed , full member of the cast perosnalities here: Rita is clearly tired from the sheer amount of shit she has to juggle, but is also nice and warm and while Lynn Sr.’s goofiness was established already, here it’s tempered into his current shape and his love of cooking and through role as the family chef is established. While he was established as cook earlier he goes from someone who’d use frozen food just to get by to a master chef who probably does use a lot of frozen stuff but can make anything taste good and will eventually have his own restraunt. It’s really fascenating to see them slowly emerge. They don’t really have plots themslves, and Lynn’s only real gag is wanting everyone to try his figgy pudding. 

So with the rest of the family covered let’s get to our main plot. Lincoln is sledding.. on the slide out back.. for some reason. 

The reason is simple.. his sled ends up in the yard of Mr. Grouse, their neighbor and old man who yells at louds. Lincoln explains grouse keeps everything that ends up in his yard and has taken a lot from the Loud Kids over the years. So lincoln.. uses the slide to sled.. DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF HIS YARD. 

I’ve been wanting to use pigtail kim since I made that one recently. But her points stands. What?!. I mean Lincoln can be stupid, he’s  only 12 it’s allowed, but usually more out of not realizing what he’s getting into or using kid logic. He’s not this brain dead. That’s Leni’s job. It just feels like plot contrivance. Just have him build some sort of contraption as a makeshift hill and tell the audience he’s doing this because his family dosen’t want him going to an actual hill on christmas or is too busy to take him. There are easier ways than this half assed rube goldberg machine of a setup. So naturally his sled ends up in the yard.. and he calls on Clyde to help....

Now if you’ve been reading my reviews for a while, you know that reactoin is normally reserved exclusivley for this guy. 

But since Rusty was in his larval state with only a few apperances and hadn’t emeerged from his coocoon as the douche I know and love to take pot shots at, there was actually something WORSE. Something more obnoxious. And with far far worse implications. And that my friends was seasons 1 and 2 Clyde.  Clyde in the early seasons CAN be fine, and the self we know now. In fact I wish he interacted with the sisters more as the slumber party episode early on gave him a nice dynamic with all of them and the episode with him and leni was terrific. The problem one there was running gag with him, one character trait that utterly sucked the joy out of the room at best and made him into an unlikeable little shit at worst; HIs crush on Lori.  When she’s around at BEST he has a Master Roshi nosebleed, stammers her name and passes out, something that wasn’t funny the first time and quickly became grating the 80 other times they did it. But at worst, as he is here? He’s creepy, obessevie and worst of all. .a real dick to bobby. Who as we’ve established is...

So that was NEVER going to go over well and even ignoring that is still very bad. The little creep just constantly treats Bobby with hostility, which given this is Bobby, he dosen’t realize is going on. Any time their relationship is threantned Clyde’s main goal is to swoop in during the aftermath and win lori over. He constantly wants Bobby out of the way, The ONE TIME he dosen’t come off as a massive dick is when Lincoln thinks Bobby might be cheating, and that’s because Clyde isn’t planning on swooping into the wrecakge of someone’s relationship to get a girlfriend, but to punch the guy out for cheating on her. Bobby wasn’t and Clyde obviously isn’t capable of that, but it’s a bit more understandable and even CLYDE wants to make sure there’s evidence first. But more often than not he’s just under the assumptino Lori will be his despite the massive age gap, her having made it obvious she’s not intrested, and her being in  longterm relationship she’s really happy in with someone else. And this was season 1 lori who reacted to this, so the fact she’s not being the queen of all bitches about it only makes him look that much worse. And to add to that, Bobby not only KNOWS he has as crush on Lori but is suppportive of clyde, cheering him on when she kisses him once for doing something noble, and generally treating “Clydsdale” like he would any of Lori’s blood siblings. It was excurating then to sit through this every few episodes.. and it’s even worse now because the gag’s complete dissaperance from Season 3 onwards really paints the picture that this gag was entirely because series creator Chris Savino thought this was FUNNY and no one else did. And given he got fired for, you know, HARASSING WOMEN  AND NOT TAKING NO FOR AN ANSWER  you kinda see how an already bad bit was made worse. So yeah while the sled thing is bad this.. is objectively worse and drags the special down more. It’s thakfully not omniprescent but man is it hard to watch.  Clyde being in full dickhead mode is trying to get a kiss from lori and is using a missletoe hat for it.. And can we just agree that while Missletoe can be used well in stories, to help two shy people finally kiss or to ramp up romantic tension or what have you, that it’s often used by creepy douchebags to get kisses they don’t deserve both here and presumibly in irl before the plauge hit? We can? Good. But yeah that’s his plot, no suprise he gets one, bah hum bug. He also throws in some Bobby bashing by fantasising about him ending up in the yard and clyde ending up with lori since Grouse keeps bobby.. even though instead Lori would just ignore clyde, storm over there and rip an old man’s spine out mortal kombat style. 

So yeah Lincoln wants his sled back, but he can’t do it alone as the old man scares him, hence Clyde coming in. They make an elaborate plan using some careful blueprints. 

Their real plan is to have Clyde disract grouse while Lincoln grabs the sled but it fails and mean mr mustard finds it and takes it inside. Desperate, Lincoln prepares to do some crimes and head into his house. Clyde is afraid he’l end up in jail and never get to visit because only family can. Clyde you are family. Plus Prison visits aren’t limited to relatives only, any show with a character in jail storyline will tell you that. But Lincoln makes a valid point that Grouse stole his property.. I still dont’ think this is the right way to handle it and his parents should just go over and ask the loud, irate asshole to give the kids stuff back he stole to be a dick, but this is a kids show and again we wouldn’t have a plot but unlike last time my head dosen’t hurt from this. He’s desperate, he knows that probably wouldn’t work and again he’s 12. 12 year old logic is fine.  Naturally he ends up getting caught as Grouse didn’t leave for long, though having found a photo of Grouse with a sled as a kid, understandably fires back on him that he wasn’t always like this. Why he like this. He also has the much farier point that again, it’s his property and “My yard my rules” is about as much a legal rule as a note saying “I can do what I want, ron”. But Grouse understandably, hey he’s a dick but the boyd id be and e, makes him clean up and after Grouse fails to get the loud parents Lincoln, via a comination of a charming family photo and Grouse talking to his sister on the phone, finds out the real reason he acts like this: He misses his family and being on a fixed income can’t visit them often as he tells his sister he won’t be home for christmas to see his sprawling family. 

And while it doesen’t excuse his actions.. it does explain why Grouse is so bitter: you would be too if you had a massive family who clealry loved you and your on good terms with.. but through no fault of your own and presumibly despite working hard toa fford retirment you just.. can’t see them. Their there and you have the phone, but you don’t know how to work the internet and it’s just.. not the same as seeing them. Your just seperated from them and can’t be near them or hear their voices or get hugs. Which.. given the current pandemic i’m sure MANY of you can relate to that.. to being seperated from your loved ones and trapped, and especailly many people mr grouses age are facing that. While this special is good even without the context of seeing it this year it especailly resonates and i’m glad I waited this long simply beaause it came at just the right time. Grouse tells him to leave not planning on calling his parents.

So in christmas special fashion, Lincoln is touched byt his story, and feels bad for the old curmudgeon. Sure they don’t get along and the bastard broke his sled.. but again you’d be bitter too in his shoes. The guy has nothing and is alone.. and Grouse has done nothing to deserve that, even with his actions resulting from it. No one should be alone on christmas.  So Lincoln tells his sisters, all of whom rally around him, including Luna whose writer’s block is broken as she finally realizes... 

And not singing about that was holding her back. Luna has her song and Lincoln, as expected has a plan.  And we soon see that plan as Grouse gets a knock on the door.. and finds the Louds, parents included, and The McBrides all there singing him a christmas song. It’s pretty decent and the first time we really get to see Nikka Futterman sing and i’ts beautiful> Ther’ed be better, and worse luna songs to come but this is still pretty neat and sweet. THey came to offer him deocrations, dinner, company.. and a one way bus ticket to his family... presumibly the family will pay the other way or he can easier the day after christmas. Point is he’s touched, and genuinely and sincerly thanks them and invites them in, with Grouse’s actor John DiMaggio REALLY selling it hard. 

So our heroes gather for Christmas Eve all together, and under Grouse’s roof with Grouse giving the kids their stuff back having had a change of heart. Sure he misses his family.. but the Louds and Mc Brides have shown him he dosen’t have to shut everyone out as a result. And while Grouse apologizes tht his sled is gone.. Lincoln’s fine with it he got something better.  So the next morning we end on the kids opening presents, and Lori saving her boyfriend from axphisxiation, seriously between this and strife of the party i’m really starting to sour on lana. Regarldess Lucy finally belivies in santa both due to gifts nd seeing him last night, while Lincoln finds a sled from santa.. and then goes outside to see Mr Grouse off, recognizing he’s the one who played santa in  a really sweet and senitmental bit. The two part on good terms even if Lincoln breaks another window. Things have changed if not that much.  Final THoughts:  If it wasn’t obvious, I REALLY loved this one. While it has it’s flaws, and Chris Savino sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms obviously.. it’s still a really sweet, well constructed special and I really recommend checking it out. It’s on the nick app if you have cable and on CBS All Acess if you have that. Until next time merry christmas to all and to all a good day. 

And if ther’es an episode of the loud house you’d like me to review leave it in the comments or you can comission a review of it for five dollars. Just direct message me to work out the details or send an ask for my discord. 

[starryknightace]

I had Top Surgery! (Post Op 1 1/2 Weeks pics)

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Suprise! I had top surgery almost 2 weeks ago. It was a bit of a process to get to that point and i was literally counting down the hours til i went under. I kept joking to people i was most excited about my "induced 4 hour nap" more than anything. I got to my day surgery clinic early in the morning, to which i got changed into scrubs, was told to wait under a blanket to keep my body warm, and met with the nurse, anesthetist and my surgeon for pre op discussions. Then i was escorted into the operation theatre where i hopped on the table, got nice and comfy with blankets, tubes, oxygen mask annnnddd.... woke up 4 hours later forgetting i had surgery 🤣

I did this in my last surgery (which in comparission was more terrifying cause i had blood in my mouth and couldnt remember what happened to me), but i woke up and couldn't work out where i was, why i felt so dizzy and how i got clothed 🤣 i spent about 2 hours in the recovery room sat in a recliner chair dozing off, except to eat (cause i had been fasting prior) and drink. I did try to pee but couldn't which was frustrating 😅 then i was taken home, where i promptly went to sleep lol

I had my drains in for 72 hours and they were the worst part of recovery. I carried bottles in a pillow case and they had be be positioned lower than my chest at all times. Luckily i wasn't able to move much and while i was on strong pain medication i mainly slept. I had my mum stay with me for a week and i'm thankful she did cause she really saved my butt by doing everything for me (i really had to let go of my control which was weirdly hard, i just felt bad making her do things for me but she was happy to). The drains were uncomfortable and by the morning there were to be taken out i was really hurting where they were inserted. After they were taken out it was a blessing and recovery got A LOT easier. I had shallow baths every few days and my mum helped me was my hair. I had baby wipes for my armpits and chest area which again saved me from being stinky. I still mainly slept, or watched tv shows with my mum up until she left. She prepped me a LOT of meals before she left so i wouldn't have to cook.

Sleeping on my back was probably the most uncomfortable part (after the drains), because i'm a stomach sleeper. I have been managing to sleep though which has been nice (and Maple has been good, sleeping beside me all through the night!). I've been sleeping elevated to help with swelling. I actually got told off by my nurse while doing my week post op check up cause i was still doing too much. I went to Uni for a 6 hour workshop that day too and went to a costume showcase that night. Safe to safe i was exhausted the next day and didnt do much but sleep.

So i'm still quite swollen and bruised 1 1/2 weeks in, which will eventually settle down. my nipples seem to be taking well so crossing fingers the blood returns. I was worried about puckering but being able to closely examine my chest it's due to the swelling at the moment so hopefully that goes down too.

All in all i can't stop smiling at my chest - i finally feel like myself 😁

Some tips for those looking to have Top Surgery based on my experience:

MEDICINE

I have a high pain threshold - i was willing to go to uni a week post op because i could stand to - would recommend people booking off at LEAST 3 weeks prior to work/study if you can help it. I have only one class per week at the moment and its only theory so thats why i was able to travel and even then i was taken pain killers ever 4 hours.

In my mother's words "don't be a hero, if you need to take pain relief, do it". Best advice. I've weened myself off pain killers to 2 just before bed (panadine forte), or before i need to go out and do things (genral paracetamol). If you need to take more just do it - also write down when you've taken things (because its good to know how much you've had per day!) You can take iburofen and paracetamol intermittedly in 4 hour intervals (eg. Iburofen at 12pm, paracetamol at 2pm, another dose of iburofen at 4pm, etc).

You'll also be taking antibiotics - generally 3 times a day with meals. I also took probiotics 2 hours after taking my antibiotics to avoid the sideaffects of them (eg. Mouth Ulcers (which i did get dang it), thrush, etc).

I was also taking strong pain killers (for the first few days i took 2 every 4 hours then weened down to one per night). Be careful with strong pain killers - the thing doctors/people don't tend to mention is that they can be addictive/dependent drugs. Sometimes you would prefer to keep taking them and that can be an issue. I asked my surgeon at my 1 week if i could please get one more script of something a little stronger than paracetamol to take a night and it took a bit more of a discussion to get it. If you can try to get by on the paracetamol alone do so and remember you can alternate with iburofen every two hours.

WEIRD BOWELS

With all these medications you'll more than likely get constipated so adding to the list of medications i also took good ol' laxatives. The first poop after surgery was like 3 days later and it hurt 😅 the laxatives helped me after to soften my stools (cheat mode is when you're lactose intolerent and you eat a bunch of cheesecake whoops 😅). Also peeing was weird for the first week due to the anesthestics in me. It took me ages to pee, sometimes i had the feeling of needing to pee but nothing happened, and i was peeing like, every hour.

SUPPORT

Both in furniture sense and people sense.

My mum was my main support especially in the first week. She looked after me, my house and my cat. She grabbed things i couldn't access, drove me to my appointments, managed my medicine, cooked me food and generally just helped me around the place. Originally i only wanted her there for a few days but im glad she was there cause i was sore and out of it most of the time. Alongside her my two best friends were also a massive help - coming over to keep me company, drive me places, help me do my grocery shopping, tell me off for overdoing it, gave me plenty of entertainment (thanks to katie i finished wind waker!). Get yourself some support and let go of that control, you will honestly be too tired and sore to do anything anyway.

Make sure you get yourself some comfy pillows. I got myself a U shaped pillow and it has so far saved my neck so much pain. I sleep elevated which means more pillows to prop myself up. And pillows for my couch.

WASHING

So for the first 72 hours i was just a gross gremlin with dry shampoo because of the drains. My chest was covered in bandages so i couldn't wash that area anyway. After the drains were removed i was told i could have showers, but i opted for shallow bathes anyway. I was able to wash myself fine (just go slow), then i would put pants on and get my mum to help wash my hair. After my 1 week check up i started having showers, but stood out of the stream. I only have tape to cover my stitches now (i took them off for the photo) so am able to carefully wash parts of my chest and back i couldnt get to before. I can now wash my hair (slowly). Raising my arms is still not easily fesable but i can lift them to a certain point.

EMOTIONAL

Now, i wasn't as emotional as i thought i was going to be but i do know other trans guys who said they went through bouts of depression after their surgery. Its something to look out for. For me, it was emotionally draining to talk to people about it constantly. I didn't mind though and it was nice people checked up on me but it did wear me out. Its always good though to check in with your emotional state throughout to see how youre feeling. It's not an inmediate grattification, the swelling and bruising is a lot and it won't look right for a while. Also leading up to surgery people can feel fearful and doubtful, always chat to a loved one about your feelings! Personally i had no nerves leading up to surgery but afterwards i was constantly worried that i wasn't healing right. Talking to your surgeon will HELP trust me!

SCARRING

Ok this was a big shock to me so i hope this helps other people but scar medication/ointments don't actually work. I asked my surgeon about it and as a skin professional who has been studying the effects of scarring for over 40 years - this is a beauty scam you don't need to bite into.

"Time and your genetic biology are the only ways that help your scars heal, sorry to burst your bubble but save your money on that placebo".

Looking after yourself the first few months post op will help you get good results later.

Of course i understand if people will still want to buy scarring products but thought i would post the words of a professional too 😅 don't shoot the messenger on this one. And if you do decide to use the stuff then wait 6 months before doing so.

I think that's all i can think of at the moment. There's a really good private facebook group for top surgery and i got a lot of my info from there. If people are curious feel free to DM me, send me an inbox and i'd be happy to chat as best i can! My experience is based in Australia so people might have different expectations/experiences in different countries!

🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈💛💛💛🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

[unavenged-robin]

Juxtaposition - 3

Part 1 + Part 2

Tim hadn’t meant anything by it, honestly. He just happened to stumble into the kid while having a camera in his hands, and that was all. It hadn’t been his fault if Damian was too busy drawing and didn't notice him: the brat was supposed to be a baby ninja, after all. Another thing he was not responsible for was Damian being... photogenic. He would never use the word cute, not even to save his own life.

Point is, the kid was sitting there, under a tree, surrounded by his pets - Titus' big head on his leg, Alfred the cat curled up by his feet - his head bent over an old sketchbook, and a look of total focus on his face, and Tim didn’t even think about it, he raised the camera to his eye and took the photo.

Click.

Damian lifted his head, looking annoyed but not surprised. So maybe he had known about Tim being there. Maybe he just hadn’t care enough.

“Taking photos of people without their explicit consent is a felony, Drake”, he said, narrowing his eyes at Tim. “I could report you and have you arrested.”

Tim snorted and plopped down on the grass in front of the kid.

It was such a beautiful day. The sun was warm over the skin and the wind was like a gentle caress on the face. Even the colors looked like they were happy to exist; they were so intense they seemed to vibrate under his stare: the blue was so blue the sky could’ve very well been the ocean, the green was so green the whole garden could’ve been just one, giant new leaf of a young tree.

And Damian, Damian was a spot of red and black in all that green, like a tiny ladybug resting in the grass, and his eyes were also the greenest green Tim had seen for a while. He had smiled at the kid with a contented heart.

“You happen to be a minor, brat”, he reminded him with a bit of teasing in his voice. “And I'm listed as one of your legal guardians. That means that, until you're eighteen, I can pretty much do whatever I want with you.”

Damian looked up from his sketchbook to squint at him. His cheeks were sun-kissed and his nose was getting too red under the warm light of the afternoon, and Tim remembers how in that moment he had the sudden, shattering realization that he felt a not insignificant amount of affection for his brother. And that had not been the only time he’s ever felt that way, but it had perhaps been the first one.

Damian had dismissed him without a second thought.

“You are not my legal guardian.”

“I am too.”

The words stayed there for a moment, lingering between them, then Damian had frowned at him, out of curiosity more than outrage, Tim thought, as he choose to believe him.

“Why?”, he asked.

Tim turned his eyes away, lifting his face to observe the branches of the tree above them swaying slowly in the wind. He didn’t want to ruin the quiet.

“Because this family is a mess and Bruce wants to be sure that, if he decides to go take another stroll in the past again, you won't be left on your own”, he explained anyway. It was both a surreal and a serious affair, and they both knew it.

Damian had considered it for a moment, gnawing pensively at the tip of his pencil.

“I won't be left with you anyway”, he decided with a shrug. “You would have to go through Grayson's body to get me.”

Tim remembers how he had laughed at that.

“Yeah, that's true”, he had said. “Neither of us need to worry about it.”

*

Tim stares at the ceiling of his own bedroom like he expects some kind of answer coming down from there, along with a few friendly spiders he’s never had the time to chase away.

That afternoon used to be a good memory, once upon a time. Now it comes at him at night, haunting him with its bitter taste of unforeseen omen, and Tim wonders if Damian ever thinks about it, if he remembers it as clearly as he does.

He hopes not. He hopes that, at least for the kid, it’s not ruined.

There’s still some good stuff attached to that memory, though. Damian had wanted that photo, marched down to this very apartment to get it. And Tim had developed the film just for him, showed him how to do it and pretended not to notice how invested Damian was. That had been nice too: teaching the kid something new, something harmless they both enjoyed. Damian had let Tim guide his hands through the various proceedings, he had even obeyed every instruction with a minimum amount of huffs and scoffs. That had been another good day.

Fast forward, Tim hadn’t been there for Damian’s eleventh birthday, but he had bought him a camera and asked Alfred to pack it up in the most childish, colourful wrapping paper he could find, and to give it to the brat when he looked less willingly to throw it away without even bothering to unwrap it. And of course he hadn’t expected much in return, but to his surprise Damian had actually texted him a short and very formal thank you. That meant the little gremlin had loved the gift. Tim had been happy about it.

Those memories still makes him smile, even if now they leave a bitter aftertaste on his lips. Nice moments like those had been a rare thing, little pearls lost in the sand of the constant fights, the misunderstandings, and the mutual disinterest.

And now the world was all chaos and fragile things, and none of them really know what to do. Not Damian, freshly deprived of the only two father figures he had ever known; not Tim, who had found himself responsible for him; and sure enough not Jason, who had just got himself trapped in the whole mess.

Tim sighs and gets out of bed. The clock radio on the nightstand marks four o'clock in the morning, but there's no way he’s going back to sleep tonight, he's sure of that. Better to make some tea and keep working on tomorrow’s case. At least that’s the plan when he gets into the kitchen.

He goes as far as to put some water on the heat, then the memories of that afternoon comes back to needle him. There must be a box somewhere, filled with the photos from the first film he had developed for Damian, the first photos the kid had ever took in his life, as far as Tim knows. And e hadn't told Damian this - of course he hadn’t - but he'd made copies for himself. At the time he hadn't even ask himself why: he had just wanted to do it, so he had gone and done it.

He finds the box tucked away on the highest shelf of his library, covered by a thin layer of dust. Housekeeping’s never been his strongest suit.

A faint gurgling from the kitchen reminds him of the tea he was making. Tim retrieves it, pushes some jasmine leaves into the hot cup, then goes and sits on the couch. He shoots a quick look at Damian's room, but the door is closed and no light seeps from under it, no noise comes from the other side. The boy should be asleep.

For some reason he can’t explain, Tim feels a pang of guilt as he opens the box.

Damian’s photos are all there and Tim picks them up with a smile. It's funny looking at his family through the kid's eyes: everyone looks a lot taller, everything seems bigger. It's a bit of a déjà-vu, because Tim remembers well enough how the world looks like on a child scale.

The first bunch of photos are reserved to Damian's pet, of course. Here’s Titus, sleeping on the library’s rug or sitting at Damian’s feet, and Alfred the cat curled up on the windowsill. There’s Batcow eating some grass in the back of their courtyard, Goliath with its wings spread out, getting ready to fly. Tim knows Damian misses them. He wish he could at least give them back to him but he has no space for pets in his apartment, and they can’t go home anyway.

He puts those photos aside, and the next one hits him like a fist in the stomach. Here, in front of him, there’s Dick. He's smiling down, his lips upturned, the affection so clear in his eyes. Tim tries to imagine whatever absurd excuse Damian had tried to made up to justify his wish to have a picture of him, and he can’t think of anything, but it’s pretty obvious that Dick had seen right through the kid.

Damian is the subject of the next photo. Even if it hadn't came up right after Dick's one, Tim would've known anyway that Dick was the one who took it. It's the expression on Damian's face to give it away, that little not-really-annoyed-but-pretending-to-be-anyway scowl that holds the same affection of Dick's smile. He can see that moment so clearly in his mind. How Dick would’ve said something like you can take a picture of me only if I can take a picture of you, and Damian would’ve rolled his eyes and then indulge the blackmail with a secret happiness.

He laughs heartily at the following four photos. They are a set of unfocused, very awkward selfies of Damian and Stephanie, with her being the head of the operation, since Damian's arms would be too short to even attempt it. Damian’s glaring in the first photo and openly laughing in the last one, and Stephanie had been quick, albeit a little imprecise, at capturing that moment. The result is a blurry picture with a very strange angle, but it’s still one of Tim’s favorite.

There are a lot of pictures of Bruce. At first they were taken from a distance, and they portray him from behind, or busy doing something else: bending over his desk to write a letter, sitting in the armchair reading a book, standing in the kitchen with Alfred sipping a tea. They all give the idea of stolen moments, even if Bruce had probably known what the kid was doing. Tim could see him playing along, waiting for Damian to decide what worked best for him.

And of course Damian had eventually decided to make Bruce a part of the new hobby. The other shots still have a formal setting, very different from the spontaneity of the photos of Dick and Stephanie, but Bruce smiles in almost all of them and there’s a complicity and a quiet happiness that makes Tim’s heart ache. He misses Bruce. And he can only imagine how much Damian’s missing him too, how all this time apart is affecting him, his memories, his relationship with Bruce.

Tim brushes a cold fingertip over the pictures and wishes he could fix, if not everything, at least some of it. They can’t have Dick back, but Bruce is still there, still alive, and breathing, and living a life that doesn’t include them anymore, and if anything, it hurts almost as much as believing him to be dead.

He takes a quick look at all the photos again and he wonders how it is possible that none of them ever realized how important those moments were, how much they would have missed them once they were gone. For all the unspoken things and the cruel past, for all the miscommunications and the fights and the bickering, the truth of what there used to be between them as a family it’s just there in his hands: it was love, love and nothing else.

He hopes that Damian can see it too.

He flips through the pictures one last time, and this time he’s forced to notice how there are no photos of himself, or of Jason, for that matter. It shouldn't have been unexpected, but it stings anyway, even if only a little bit.

Tim’s considering what to do with the photos, if put them in their box and hide it again, or leave everything here on the coffee table for Damian to find, when he hears soft footsteps behind his back and the decision is taken out of his hands.

“Hey”, he says when the kid circumnavigates the couch to come standing in front of him.

“Want some tea?”, Tim offers, lifting his own cup.

Damian shakes his head no and curls up next to Tim, tucking his bare feet under him. He looks still half asleep, which is kind of a blessing right now. Tim has a good feeling about how Damian will take the news of the existence of those illegitimate copies of his pictures, but you never know.

“Mine are still in my room back at home, I believe”, Damian whispers, as he reaches out for the box. Tim lets him have it, and watches him closely as the boy collects all the pictures in his hands.

“Alfred would never let anyone touch your room while you’re away”, he reassures him, and since Damian’s just got to the picture of Dick, he slings an arm around the boy’s shoulders and pulls him closer.

“We’re going to need an album for them”, he says gently. “Like one of those Alfred has back home. We can make a new family album or something. Show it to him once everything goes back to normal, you know?”

Damian nods as he leans against Tim’s chest. He’s still warm from the bed, and his hair is a mess, but also soft under Tim’s chin. He’s wearing one of Jason’s old shirt because for the second week in a row Tim forgot to do the laundry, and he smells like Dick’s aftershave because that’s what Jason’s using now.

Tim holds Damian a bit closer. They are all trying to pick up the pieces as best as they can. It’s not easy.

“We could go to the park tomorrow”, he adds, because why not. “Bring Jason with us. Take some new photos for your album. What do you say?”

Damian moves closer to him, eyes still transfixed on Dick’s face.

“Yes”, he answers softly. “I would like that.”

[maychorian]

Weekly Voltron Fic Recs #52

Happy Thanksgiving! Here are thirty fics. I’m so close to being caught up that I can almost taste it.

This is also marks the 600th post on @maychorianrecs​. Hidey ho! 

And I still have like twenty-seven old fic rec lists I haven’t copied there yet.

Rules: You can find past weekly rec lists here, and non-list recs in my general fic rec tag. Also follow @maychorianrecs for individually tagged posts, the easier to search and reblog. This is stuff I like, and I have a huge bias toward Lance, hurt/comfort, and general fluff, in that order. Gen unless otherwise noted. Please comment on the fics if you read and enjoy them!

Fogged Breath by BluePlanetTrash Words: 2,118 Author’s Summary: Ever since he was little Lance suffered from asthma. He didn’t think that it would be much of a problem in space. Fate had other plans for him, however. My Comments: Great little hurt!Lance fic with an exceptionally protective team. Hits the spot.

oh, the end of infinity by MissSugarPlum Words: 9,896 Author’s Summary: Matt can’t sleep. It’s not like this is a new occurrence. Sleep has been evading him for years now, and he can’t even remember what a proper restful night feels like. He sometimes thinks of when he was still at the Garrison, how he used to think he knew what stress was, how he used to bemoan the pressure from instructors, the rigorous training, the way he could only ever seem to get no more than six hours of sleep a night, and he yearns for the simplicity of back then. Past-Matt didn’t know how good he had it. -x- [Matt adjusts to being in the Castle of Lions.] My Comments: I really enjoyed this exploration of Matt getting used the castle and the team, especially the development of his relationship Lance. It starts out adversarial but gets much less so. Great scenes with Pidge, too. Possibly romantic Klance in the background, but can also be read as gen.

Congratulations by TheWonderTwins Words: 2,433 Author’s Summary: A mission doesn’t quite go to plan and Pidge is taken prisoner. Not everyone takes it as well as Pidge does. My Comments: Ahhh, Pidge. What a badass. This was exciting and fun to read.

Local Color by TheWonderTwins Words: 2,361 Author’s Summary: “Could this be more cliche?” Pidge muttered quietly. Keith smirked briefly. “We could get into a barfight.”“ Please resist the urge to punch people.” Pidge requested. My Comments: I frankly impressed that these two avoided getting into a barfight. Fun little scene with the two of them dealing with some aggression from locals quite well, actually.

What She Sees by HapaxLegomenon Words: 2,263 Author’s Summary: Matt’s safe, now, and Pidge is delighted to have her brother back. But Matt’s different, and she notices. Set during the end of “The Machinations of Perception.” My Comments: Little missing scene from a previously recced fic. Since that fic was entirely in Matt’s POV, it was nice to get a scene from Pidge’s perspective, here. These poor kids. Things are hard, but I’m glad they have each other now.

Easy Target by SunshineAndRainbows Words: 1,832 Author’s Summary: Every move was deliberate, every action filled with intent. He had meant to land his ship, he meant to stand from his cockpit, and so, he meant to walk slowly, deliberately to meet his hopeful allies. He had certainly meant to say something clever and suitably dignified in greeting.He hadn’t meant to collapse the moment his feet hit solid ground. My Comments: How to make me feel sympathetic to Lotor: Whump him good.

Go Go Paladins of Voltron by hufflepirate Words: 2,662 Author’s Summary: Shiro gave up everything, including his spot at the Garrison, to look after his dying mother. Now his mother is gone and he’s alone — until he meets four teenagers with attitude, a set of mysterious keys, and maybe, just maybe a purpose. Written for platonicvldweek 3, for the prompt Alternate Reality/Free, so it’s not QUITE a Power Rangers Fusion AU, but it is the meet cute from Power Rangers (2017), but with Voltron. We’re calling it an alternate reality, not an alternate universe, because they’re gonna end up in space doing their space thing, just… a little differently. (Marked complete because I like the ending ok as it is and don’t have time to write this as a multichapter fic right now.) My Comments: I haven’t seen the new Power Rangers movie, but you don’t need to enjoy this fun, fluffy little getting-together fic.

Bad to Worse by bookwormgir1LH Words: 1,794 Author’s Summary: Lance, Keith, Hunk and Pidge go on a hiking trip. Things start to wrong from the offset, but it soon gets even worse… My Comments: Fun modern AU about an absolutely disastrous attempt at having a good time. Poor kids, but everything turns out okay. Lance’s POV is fun to read, too, even as things go very wrong.

All Hallow’s Eve by this_book_has_been_loved Words: 2,921 Author’s Summary: In which the Paladins discover that Keith’s birthday is only a week before Halloween My Comments: Aw, poor Keith. Everyone’s heart is in the right place, but things are hard, sometimes.

What Could Have Been by Crowoxy Words: 5,222 Author’s Summary: Lotor is only a few decaphoebs (years) younger than Allura and it was just easier for him to leave Daibaazal for Altea. A what-if scenario where if Lotor grew up on Altea, what changed and what stayed the same?Day 7 of the Platonic VLD Week - Free/ Alternate Universe My Comments: I felt bad for Lotor being so obviously neglected by his parents, but it was really nice to see him growing with Allura and Coran and Alfor as his family instead. Cool AU. I would read more of this concept, and I’m not even a huge fan of Lotor. I could see, with the right upbringing, his charisma and intelligence being used for good ends instead of his own ambition.

Snowtron by Eastofthemoon Words: 2,648 Author’s Summary: It had all started with five words. Five words that changed the entire course of the day. Five words Allura never imagined she would hear any paladins say while piloting their lions. “GIANT ROBOT LION SNOWBALL FIGHT!” My Comments: Holy fish balls, this is ADORABLE. I love Allura getting dragged into Earthling shenanigans, and the ending scene with Lotor and crew was icing on the cake. The snowy, snowy cake.

A Gremlin In Glasses Swoops In To Save The Day by Kabber, this_book_has_been_loved Words: 2,752 Author’s Summary: First installment in a Percy Jackson AU for Voltron. In which Lance and Hunk discover that they may not be entirely human My Comments: Really fun action scene for an AU that is just FULL of possibilities. I especially adore Pidge swooping in to save Hunk and Lance. Exciting and intriguing read.

The Opposite of Sorrow by nightwalker for HumanTrampoline Words: 6,165 Author’s Summary: Shiro takes a hit from a druid spell that causes its victims to just quietly give up and die. Fortunately he’s got six good reasons to keep fighting. My Comments: The spell Shiro gets hit with is basically weaponized depression, and it’s pretty terrifying. But the solution is hugs and cuddling and bonding time, and I am all kinds of down for that kind of cure. Extremely sweet and heartwarming fic, and Keith’s POV is wonderful.

let the fog burn let my wick fray by imperiality Words: 4,501 Author’s Summary: Little bonfires are little things Keith and Pidge do. He can’t look away from the flames, Pidge can’t seem to get what he’s after. But then she wants to spice it up on a Halloween night. This purple fog is oppressive. My Comments: Interesting and different way to study Keith and emotionally hurt him at the same time. It’s a good thing his team came after him.

Grateful for the Years to Come by Ms_Marchy Words: 4,001 Author’s Summary: Five years after saying goodbye to her son, Maria McClain gets the greatest gift of being reunited with her son. Everyone knows Lance worries over how much he missed in his family’s lives. No one ever thinks about what Maria was missing about her son’s life. She didn’t even know herself until one day two giant mechanical lions land near her house. The Space War is finally over. Everyone can go home. My Comments: This was heartbreaking and heartwarming in equal measure. It’s sad to see just how much years of war scarred Lance, but it’s also wonderful to see him at home and loved with his family again, and his mother’s perspective is lovely and warm. Ambiguous Klance.

And My Nightmares Will Have Nightmares Every Night by ardett Words: 9,096 Author’s Summary: Restart program? A series of alternate paths in the Dream, Seam series. My Comments: Really cool and unique way of showing a bunch of ways this story could have gone really, really wrong. Or, well, wrong from a certain perspective. I adore this, though it hurts me, like a lot. Warning for major character death, though it doesn’t really stick.

With These Hands by A_Zap Words: 1,486 Author’s Summary: Despite all the trouble they’d been through, Hunk figured everything had turned out all right. After all, he and Lance had managed to return to the castle! Then Hunk sees the bruises and knows that things are not as good as he thought. My Comments: Great missing scene that we were totally robbed of in canon. I love these sweet summer boys and their relationship so much. Surprisingly more hurt!Hunk than hurt!Lance, actually, but I love both flavors.

She’s Looking A Little Green by spitfire00 Words: 3,936 Author’s Summary: Katie Holt was born to pilot the Green Lion, and her father knows it- Even if he doesn’t realize it. My Comments: Great, great Sam POV, and a wonderful Holt reunion in here too. Really cool look at the paladins and their fateful uniqueness.

Bruising Waters by TheStoryVerse Words: 17,743 Author’s Summary: Never tell a Soul. Never Let Yourself Be Seen. His mother’s words had been pounded into Lance’s head from birth; a warning to prepare him and keep his family safe. He’s managed to hide from the Garrison and even in space. But, much to Lance’s chagrin, the universe has other plans. When Lance contracts an alien virus while out on a diplomatic mission that starts attacking his Mer form, Lance figures it’s just a “space cold”. He brushes off the others’ worry and tries to continue as normal. But the pain is getting worse with each passing day, and he hasn’t had a moment’s peace alone to change forms and see what could be causing it. When everything finally hits the fan, the team quickly finds that Lance is in much worse condition than they had assumed. Lance is not only dying, but he’s changing right in front of their eyes.So much Hurt and Whump in the first chapter. So much good Bonding and Comfort in the next two. Let’s do this y'all! (Sorry, Lance) My Comments: This is some PRIMO hurt!Lance, lemme tell ya. A unique form of whump, and holy crow is is brutal. It gets kinda gross too, just to warn you. But the bonding and comfort and in the second two chapters more than makes up for it. Maybe a touch over the top at times, but darned if I didn’t enjoy every moment. Totally satisfying and highly recommended to hurt!Lance afficionados. You know who you are.

Wide Awake by taylor_tut Words: 1,373 Author’s Summary: From an anon request on my tumblr: Lance catches a bug that keeps him awake. When he’s not allowed to train during the day with everyone else, he tries to do it alone at night. It goes about as well as you’d think. My Comments: Aw, poor Lance. Great little sickfic with an unusual premise.

With Hands Tied Backwards by GibbousLunation Words: 6,684 Author’s Summary: Lance had this problem, just sometimes, where his brain got all floaty and his hands started feeling like maybe he’d forgotten to put them on properly in the morning. Like they were backwards and inverted and everything else was upside down too. Lance’s eyes slide out of focus staring at twinkling stars thousands of miles away, he lines his knuckles up in neat little rows, and he thinks too much about too many things. Team Voltron is falling apart in little ways, and building itself up taller ten times over. It started as a joke, “You know what would suck?“ It was easier to pretend they weren’t just kids fighting a war they’d never asked for, probably. "Angry edgy Not-Slav giving you CPR with his beak.” My Comments: Poignant and emotional exploration of Lance dealing with trauma-induced dissociation, and the kind of messed up games kids in war play to distract themselves from the threat of death while still acknowledging that it’s there. Klance that starts out ambiguous and then gets much less ambiguous, but could possibly still be read as gen. The point is survival, not romance.

Immunity by RiRiMania1335 Words: 2,165 Author’s Summary: Keith hardly ever gets sick. But if he does, it hits him like a truck. My Comments: Aw, poor Keith. He gets sick so rarely that he truly and sincerely believes that he’s dying, haha. Fortunately the others are there are to reassure him and take care of him.

Bonds by this_book_has_been_loved Words: 1,470 Author’s Summary: At first, it was subtle enough that none of them realized it. The bond with their Lions—that was obvious. Lance had felt it pretty much as soon as he laid eyes on the Blue Lion, and the rest of them had all had similar experiences. It was the bond with each other that was harder to pick up on. My Comments: I really like how this fic explores the concept of a psychic bond into the current canon, with all of the changes and disruptions and how that affects everyone.

Platonic VLD Week 3 - Oneshot Collection by hufflepirate Words: 10,865 Author’s Summary: WARNING: HEREIN BE S4 SPOILERS Day 1: Sleep/Nightmare - Pidge never wanted to share a room with Matt, but now that they have nightmares sharing’s not so bad. Day 2: Inside/Outside - Set mid-4.1 - Kolivan comforts Keith after the decoy ship blows up. Day 3: Tricks/Treats - Matt plays a trick on Team Voltron (a t-Rick) Day 4: Supernatural/Horror - Keith has an uncanny encounter with some Altean soldiers Day 5: Change/Growth - Hunk helps Allura learn more about piloting her lion [S3] Day 6: Distance/Proximity - Tag to 3.4 - After Allura returns, Coran hovers a little too close (Day 7: Alternate reality/Free is separate and the next fic in my platonicvldweek series.) My Comments: I love everything this author does, and this collection of little fics is like a kaleidoscope of Good Stuff. My favorites are probably day 2 and day 4, but they are all good and worth reading.

Old Soldier and Spy by Crowoxy Words: 1,874 Author’s Summary: Kolivan is the old spy who watches all of these young children grow into this war that’s been happening for ten thousand years. Day 5 of the Platonic VLD Week: Growth My Comments: I love this view of Kolivan as a wise, compassionate mentor for young soldiers, and his perspective on both Keith and Lotor is lovely and kind.

The Fear Of Falling Apart by this_book_has_been_loved Words: 3,211 Author’s Summary: Lance has feelings of inadequacy My Comments: This is so cute, and exactly how I want the relationship between Pidge, Matt, and Lance to develop in canon. I want them all to be wonderful siblings and appreciate each other and have fun playing video games. Pidge has two big brothers and it’s wonderful.

King of Wishful Thinking by BossToaster (ChaoticReactions) Words: 7,126 Author’s Summary: From Tumblr: Send me an AU and I’ll give you 5 Headcanons 1) The Galra attack Earth after the Pals leave in the Blue Lion 2) Pidge conspires to get Shiro a dog, and he ends up opening up a version of the Old Dogs Senior Sanctuary. Oops.  3) Scooby Doo AU (yes really) 4) Shiro’s relationship with his wings (Wing AU) My Comments: Each of these concepts fully deserves a full-fledged, 50k novel-length opus, but these small glimpses into the different worlds provided are immensely worth reading on their own, intriguing and heartwarming and horrifying by turns. My favorite is probably the Old Dogs Sanctuary AU, but they are all good.

Where Light and Dark Meet by squirenonny for Pechat Words: 34,168 Author’s Summary: The Fallen One arises: A captive star yearning for the heavens from which it was stolen… So begins the Prophecy of the Fallen Star, which speaks of the one who will save the kingdom from Haggar’s curse. Lance, Keith, and their friends are summoned to get in touch with Allura, the deposed princess of Altea, who is widely believed to be the Fallen Star from the prophecy. But things aren’t going to be quite so simple. Lance was cursed to become a cat at night; Keith spends his days as a crow. They both have a role to play in the coming battle, and they’re going to have to learn to trust each other–but how can they when they only ever meet in the fleeting moments at twilight when they both are human? My Comments: Klance and implied future Kallurance. I ADORE squirenonny’s fics, especially her fantasy AUs. Such amazing worldbuilding, great descriptions and and plotting and characterization. This one has some really nice hurt!Lance and protective Hunk and Pidge, too, which I always appreciate. I’m very pleased that this is apparently going to be a series, so I’ll get to read more in this world eventually. Just a great, great read, highly addictive, couldn’t stop once I started. I love it when that happens.

Blast Zone by bubblebucky Words: 4,729 Author’s Summary: In the middle of a mission, a bomb going off leaves Lance unable to hear. Still, while he’s deaf, the rest of his team are the ones that won’t listen. My Comments: This hits all of my buttons SO HARD. It gave me that good ache in my chest, you know the one. The other characters may be sliiiightly OOC in order to really hammer the hurt in on Lance, but it didn’t ping my “back away immediately” sense the way woobification usually does. Instead it felt understandable for a high-stress situation and I accepted it. The almost too-severe pain heightened the emotions for me and made the ending all the more satisfying. I REALLY love this. I’ve already read it several times, especially the ending, and it’s definitely in my Favorite Fics folder.

Home and a Half by sarehptar Words: 84,407 (7/?) Author’s Summary: They make a mistake that follows them home. (Or: Keith becomes an unwitting caretaker to three Galra children, who teach him a great deal about how to take care of himself.) My Comments: I am reading fewer WIPs these days because there are so many completed fics I still haven’t gotten to but want to, but this was recced to me so it moved to the top of my priority list, and I’m so glad I gave it a shot. This is far from a fluffy baby acquistion fic, with a lot of moral questions and deep consideration of mature themes, which makes the fic more bittersweet and heartwrenching than cute, though there are plenty of cute moments, too. It’s incredibly well-written and interesting, and the latest chapters have really brought some fun worldbuilding and adventure elements. I was afraid it was abandoned, but the author assures me it is not, and I’m really looking forward to continuing to follow this story to completion.

Previously Recced Fics That Updated:

Shadows of Stars (84674 words) Why it sucks to be a snake in space(52445 words) As Color Fades Away (211491 words) Shifting Sands (38605 words) - now complete

[moonshroooms]

Random Fandom Questions Oh My

A - Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

Currently the other ships I like right now are Human Bill Cipher and Dipper (a big guilty pleasure). If there are any Billdip shippers reading this may I humbly recommend Defining Bill Cipher, cause it’s 100% fantastic with plot, characterization, and some uh, heated moments if ya get what I mean. 

I always enjoy Frisk x Sans from Undertale, though I’ve been lagging behind on fanfics. I also like Sans and Toriel (which honestly, I like Frisk and Sans better for fanfics, but I’d want Sans and Toriel to be canon), and Frisk and Asriel are super cute too.

I’ve started reading Owari no Seraph (like, I think I’m only like ch 5), and I already knew about Mika x Yuu long before I ever started reading so I’m absolutely shipping them right now A++

I also ship Gon and Killua from Hunter x Hunter, though I don’t read a lot of fanfics for them. I just kinda annoy my friend with it when we watch the show XD

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

You know, I actually don’t think I do

C - A ship you have never liked and probably never will.

Ciel and Sebastian from Black Butler. And it’s weird cause like, they are absolutely ripe for shipping and there are plenty of other ships in like, nearly the same position I like but just. He doesn’t love-love Ciel man. He don’t even friendship-love him. Sebastian wants to eat his soul like literally and that’s it he’s just food. For whatever reason I just can’t get into that pairing. Please just let Ciel be with Elizabeth she’s such a cutie and let them be happy forever on okay good okay

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Ichigo and Masaya from Tokyo Mew Mew. I am 100% a Kisshu x Ichigo shipper and I know Ichigo x Masaya is like, oddly, one of the healthiest relationships you could have in an anime and Masaya would be a boy I’d fall head-over-heels for myself if he was real like honestly everything about him is basically perfect but I just. He’s so boring. He’s a really boring character to watch. And he gets more interesting near the end of the show, but it was just kinda too little too late, yanno? If they’d put more hints at the darker side of his wonderful personality then I’d probably would have shipped them, but I saw Kishigo first and that’s who I glommed onto srry

E - Have you added anything cracky/hilarious to your fandom? If so, what?

 I don’t contribute anything to society let alone a fandom XD

  F - What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom?

 I mean, that’s under the idea I’m actually in a fandom? Do I have to do something to be in a fandom? Can I just enjoy content? Does that count? If it do then I’ve been in the Tokyo Mew Mew fandom for like, 10 years or more. It’s like 99% dead so it’s not like I’ve searched up anything recently, but believe me if it ever gets a good remake I will be there 100%

G - Have you ever had an OTP? If so, do you remember your first one? Who was in it?

 My first OTP back before I ever knew what an OTP was was Kisshu and Ichigo from Tokyo Mew Mew. And that fandom is super dead and I’ll probably never read a new good fanfic ever again but I’ll probably never let them go. I still consider them my OTP, and I’ve never found anyone that tops it XD They’re also completely toxic but just. Ah. I love them so much I just want them in a cute relationship plz

H - What is your favorite source text for fandom stuff (e.g., TV shows, movies, books, anime, Western animation, etc.)?

 Ennething. I guess anime is the easiest one to find though. I think I like Western animation better than anime, if only for comedy that hits home a little bit more, since I grew up in that culture and whatnot

I - Has Tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why?

 Nah. I avoid the Discourse by never joining the conversation e v e r. And most of the time I don’t really follow fandom blogs specifically, just blogs that happen to post some fandom stuff, so I probably don’t see any sort of annoying people or awful environments or anything. I don’t understand how people can get so annoyed I feel like discourse is just so easy to avoid/ignore??? But maybe that’s just me

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

 Voltron. I didn’t even know it existed until some of the funny blogs I follow started posting stuff about it. I don’t even know what Voltron’s about, other than the name sounded really familiar, like it’s an old anime being remade or something.

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

 Peridot from Steven Universe. No wait, Rinna from Forest Born. Forest Born is one of my favorite books (from the Books of Bayern series by Shannon Hale, I highly recommend them). When I was younger I related to Rinna a lot (and I’m like, nothing like her now but that’s beside the point), and I loved her development her slow development towards not hating herself so much. It’s wonderful and steady and feels real

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves. (Characters you’re neutral about are fair game, as are characters you merely dislike. Characters that you absolutely loathe with the fire of ten thousand suns are exempt, as there is no point in giving yourself an aneurysm over a character that you hate.)

 Jackie from Star vs. is a really nice girl A+ girlfriend material and if I didn’t ship Marco and Star she’d be next up for the Marco ship train. I absolutely don’t hate her and she’s a fun and nice character, but sorry you can’t be Marco’s girlfriend the bloodmoon and also me said so

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

 Isi from the Goose Girl. She already reminds me a lot of my friend, so maybe I’m a little biased, but she seems like an absolutely wonderful person to be friends with and I’d 100% love that. I’d also like Dasha from River Secrets and Enna from Enna Burning. Just. Any of the main girls from the Books of Bayern. I love them all

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

 Since I don’t have a main fandom, I’ll just choose one:

 From Steven Universe I want more funny comics, dumb memes, and Stevonnie anything. And that’s considering there’s already a shitton of all of that. There’s never enough

  O - Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

 He’s Hurting Me by Maria Mena. And Kisshu x Ichigo, mostly because I’ve seen an AMV with them and that song XD

  P - Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas).

 Active Fandom for Tokyo Mew Mew AU!

 Okay fine, that doesn’t count. But oh geez I can’t think of any good ideas though. I don’t know but anything but a coffee shop AU. Give me something with adventure man. Uhh *spins wheel* Siren AU with *rolls dice* Pokémon. Make it happen, people

  Q - A fandom you’ve abandoned and why.

 Eh, considering I’m never an active part of any fandom, I can’t say I’ve abandoned anything. I’ll even go back to really old fandoms and try to find something I haven’t read before

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

 Do Steven and Connie and Star and Marco count even though I ship them? Because I value their friendship just as much if not more than their shipping capabilities. If not then, Sailor Moon and the other sailor scouts from Sailor Moon (from the original anime). I just really like that they joke and roast and support each other. A lot of the episodes focus a lot on their random interactions and it’s a joy to watch.

S - Show us an example of your personal headcanon (prompts optional but encouraged)

 I have none honestly XD I’m not usually a person that gets into headcanons much. I ship plenty of people that aren’t together but I wouldn’t really call them headcanons, I dunno. Gon and Killua end up married. There, there’s your headcanon.

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

 Kisshu returns to Earth for Whatever reason (any reason that means more battles and adventures is good), Ichigo ends up falling in love with him, Pudding and Tart end up together, Lettuce and Pie are together, Masaya is just fine and not dead, and everyone’s happy the end

 That’s the best I got XD

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

 Kisshu from Tokyo Mew Mew: Other than the fact he’s from my long-standing OTP, he’s just really fun to watch. He’s probably the reason I have an immediate attachment to character that are slightly crazy and shit tons of dangerous. He’s cheeky and flirty and gawd I luv it A+

 Peridot and Lapis from Steven Universe. I couldn’t choose really. Peridot is such a trash gremlin and Lapis is amazing when it’s not complete angst she is just Ultimate Emo Child.

 Willis from Awful Hospital (I highly recommend this comic by the way. It’s weird and wonderful). So far he’s just the cutest little thing and I love watching him it’s great

  V - Which character do you relate to most?

 I used to relate to Rinna from Forest Born a whole bunch, especially when I was younger. Nowadays I relate much more to her older brother Razo from River Secrets. He’s self-concious, but always cracking jokes and always in the mood for eating. I think he’s hilarious and honestly I hope I can be as funny as him. He’s got a lot of talents he just never notices. I hope that gets to be me, too.

W - A trope which you are virtually certain to hate in any fandom.

 Characters with no personality. And I think this is mostly just in the otome and harem anime’s that this kind of thing is rampant, cause you gotta make a character that people can slip into but just. My god. I tried playing an otome once and I couldn’t even finish it it was so awful and infuriating. Watching Diabolik Lovers was so painful this girl just L E T everything happen she didn’t even try putting up a fight even when some dude GAVE HER A KNIFE TO STAB HER VAMPIRE WHATEVERS WITH. MY GOD. I hated everything I wanted to cry. And don’t even get me started on the manga Black Bird I hate it so much they just rinse repeat everything. ‘No love interest don’t do sexy things at me I don’t want it’ ‘I’m doing it as punishment for you doing/not doing Whatever’ ‘Noooo’ and then proceeds to just continue to love the assbag. Just stop oh my goooood

  X - A trope which you are almost certain to love in any fandom.

 Enemies to Lovers. Or enemies being in love in general. Or forbidden romances of any kind. Basically I want a shit ton of angst and a happy ending.

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

 I know a little bit about Homestuck, which I tried to read once and got bored. I keep wanting to pick it back up but just… aaaah the beginning is so boring I can hardly tell what’s going on. And I hate the 1 panel thing. I’m sure it was good while it was being posted, but it just takes so long to load the next page. I need a multi-page version please.

 I also know a tad bit about Madoka Magic, which I’m not entirely sure how. I just kinda. Read stuff I came across, despite never being interested in the show myself.

  Z - Just ramble about something fan-related, go go go! (Prompts optional but encouraged.)

 Dear god please let Star and Marco be together (they probably will).

 I want at the very least a cute cheek kiss from Steven and Connie, also, can Stevonnie fuse with other gems??? That’d be wild.

 Danny Phantom needed to be longer also he needed to be with Valerie I loved her why the flip flap did they give her such a crappy reason to not be with Danny AAAH

 I haven’t been able to watch the Legend of Korra because I tear up anytime I see something about the old gang being old or dead like legit if I ever see Aang being all dead and spiritual and shit I will cry

 The Amazing World of Gumball is hilarious and I want more people to watch it

 I tried watching Bob’s Burger’s for just like, a funny show without a plot and I got bored eventually. Thankfully Gumball saved the day

 I think Ni no Kuni is an adorable game and I love their little definitely-not-Pokémon monsters and I’ll probably rant about who’s on my team one day

  I ship Link and Midna 100% but like, only the TP incarnation of Link. Skyward Sword and Breath of the Wild and Spirit Tracks Link can be with Zelda. Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass Link can be with Tetra (specifically Tetra).

 Speaking of Tetra, why the flip flap SPOILERS IF YOU HAVEN’T PLAYED WIND WAKER BUT LIKE, IT’S REALLY OLD AND HAS A REMAKE SO I GUESS THAT’S MOSTLY YOUR FAULT BEWAAAAAAAAAARE. ALSO THE BEGINNING OF BREATH OF THE WILD I GUESS? THOUGH IT’S NOT REALLY A BIG IMPORTANT SPOILER. 

does she get pale when she turns into Zelda? Like, bam you’re royalty also kiss your tan goodbye. Same thing happens to the mysterious old man when he becomes the king. Do bluebloods just not get tan or something like, the flip?

[proseandsongs]

I Can’t Be Without You

Wishing the happiest of birthdays to the lovely, kind, talented @emberglows! I am so privileged to be your friend, and as a sign of thanks/celebration of your birthday, I’ve written a Fiddlestan fic! I really hope you enjoy it. Happy birthday, love!! <3

“This is stupid.” Stan plucked at the bright red bowtie around his neck and grimaced at his reflection.

His niece swooped in and slapped his hands away. “Don’t touch it! You’ll ruin it.”

Stanley sighed and tugged at his suit jacket to banish the wrinkles. The suit was brand new and snug in the shoulders, but Mabel had refused to let him wear his Mystery Shack suit because it smelled like mothballs and formaldehyde. Stan had suspicions that Fiddleford was immune to the scent due to his work with Stanford, but he didn’t argue. He only put his foot down when Mabel suggested glitter hairspray to keep his hair in place. His hair was hard as a helmet with all the gel; it wasn’t going anywhere.

“Pumpkin, I don’t know about this. This seems a bit too…fancy. I’m just going out with Fiddleford.”

“Yeah, for your anniversary!” Mabel brushed back a stray hair from her Grunkle’s forehead and beamed at him in the mirror. After a few summers of growth spurts, Mabel now stood at her Grunkle’s shoulder, which meant she could now pick at him whenever she wanted. However, the careful adjustments – straightening a crooked tie, swiping at a smudge on his glasses with her sleeve, flattening a cowlick – were appreciated.

Mabel giggled in excitement and added, “I can’t believe you’ve been dating for a whole year!”

Stan swallowed hard as he grimaced at his reflection. “Me either.”

The whole thing was a bit strange. He had never predicted – never could have predicted – how the summer after their journey on the Stan o’ War would go.

After spending nearly a year alone in his mansion, with weekly visits from his son, Tate, Fiddleford had grown lonely. Despite his regular correspondence with Stanford as he travelled the world, Fiddleford sought company. Which is why, when Stanley and Stanford returned to Gravity Falls for summer vacation, Fiddleford proposed that they move into his mansion. There was far more space than at the Mystery Shack where Soos and now Melody lived, and Fiddleford practically shoved his Southern hospitality down their throats. They couldn’t say no.  

It was Fiddleford’s odd colloquialisms and erratic behaviour that made Stan fret about staying in the mansion. Once they moved in, he was surprised to see Stanford was just as happy working with Fiddleford in his lab as they had been on the ocean. Even more surprising: Stanley was enjoying himself, too. It wasn’t because of the Olympic swimming pool in the backyard (although that didn’t hurt) or the silverware he had pawned shortly after moving in: it was because Fiddleford was so kind. The man who had suffered homelessness, abandonment, and poverty for thirty years couldn’t stop giving. He donated to the children’s program at the library, the senior’s residence, and drew up blueprints for a year-round homeless shelter that was now under construction.

In addition to Fiddleford’s generosity and success as an engineer, Stanley had been startled by his great sense of humour. The first time he heard Fiddleford sass Stanford, he laughed himself into stitches. That had been the first time Fiddleford’s grin had brought heat into his face, although he was quick to blame this on the laughter.

Stanley got to know Fiddleford, to the point where they could have long conversations without the intervention of Stanford. He was sleeping more now, and would often doze while Stanley and Fiddleford spoke; no doubt catching up on thirty years of sleep deprivation. The more Stanley spoke to Fiddleford, the more smitten he became, to the point that even Dipper and Mabel could tell there was something suspicious going on. Stanley dodged the questions, but he couldn’t avoid the unfamiliar pull Fiddleford had on him.

Soon the evening soaks in the pool with just the two of them – Stanford claimed it was unsanitary – turned into long conversations that stretched until the moon was at its highest. Those chats turned into heart-pounding flirting sessions, where Stanley didn’t know up from down and couldn’t determine whether Fiddleford was reciprocating, or merely being polite.

He got the hint one evening near the end of the summer when, in response to a blatant come-on, Fiddleford shot him with an exasperated look and blurted, “Stanley Pines, if you don’t steel your gut and kiss me silly, I don’t know what I’m going to do with you!”

He obliged, of course, and proceeded to kiss Fiddleford silly – that is until Stanford burst onto the scene with a ceptopod latched onto his ear.

Stanley had been mortified, but all Stanford said was, “It’s about time,” before he started gushing about his newest finding.

How far they had come from that uncertain night, both embarrassing and sweet; now he stood in front of a mirror, dressed to the nines by his niece and set to take his partner for a great dinner for their anniversary. Anniversary. He had never expected anyone to stick around that long.

Stan smiled at his reflection and admired Mabel’s styling. “Nice work, kid.”

He ruffled her hair and grinned at her little squawk of surprise. With a laugh, Stan pulled open his dresser drawer and scooped up a small black box. It fit in his suit coat pocket without leaving a suspicious lump. Good; it was better if he didn’t see it coming.

“I’ve gotta get going. You know how Fidds gets about being late.”

“The only people excused from punctuality are the dead, Stanley,” Mabel recited in an on-point imitation of Fiddleford.

“Yeah yeah, you little gremlin,” Stan said as he ruffled her hair again.

Much like his niece, nephew, and brother, Fiddleford was strange.

Stanley had always had a soft spot for strange.

If the waiter didn’t interrupt him soon to take their order, Stan was positive he was going to drown himself with all the water he was drinking. The truth was he was so nervous he could hardly form a sentence, and sweating buckets to boot.

Fiddleford must have noticed, because he paused in the middle of his story about the director’s meeting he had earlier that day to ask, “Are you alright, Stanley?”

His brow was furrowed behind his spectacles, and the genuine concern made Stanley’s mouth go dry. He guzzled the last of his glass of water and set it down with gusto.

“Yeah, of course!”

He hoped that Fiddleford hadn’t heard the crack in his voice. He adjusted his suit coat to hide the steadily growing sweat stains with a bit of embarrassment.

When Stanley looked up at Fiddleford, he was torn between admiration and a deep feeling of inadequacy. Fiddleford was fresh and crisp in a simple grey suit and purple tie. The small white rose that decorated the lapel of his jacket matched his newly trimmed beard, fluffy and bright.

Next to his handsome partner, Stan felt like an absolute mess.

Stan must have stared too long, because Fiddleford frowned at him again and looked like he was about to question him again. Eager for a distraction, Stanley craned his neck and said gruffly, “Where’s that waiter? I’m getting ready to eat my hand.”

At Stan’s complaint, a few disapproving looks turned their way. However, Fiddleford was mild when he replied, “I’m sure he’ll be by soon. In the meantime…”

When Fiddleford unexpectedly reached across the table to hold Stanley’s hand, he jumped a bit. Stan met his partner’s eyes and was relieved to see they were soft, like his smile. It was enough to make him relax under Fiddleford’s touch.

“Stanley, tonight is very important to me, and I’m so glad I get to spend it together,” Fiddleford began. “And I – I just wanted to say thank you.”

Stan was surprised. “Eh? What for?”

Fiddleford gave Stanley’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “I want to thank you for being so understanding these last few months. I know I’ve been off negotiating with a bunch of stiff coats almost every day this month about patenting and selling my inventions, but you’ve been so good about our time apart. It’s been difficult navigating all the corporate mazes, but being able to talk to you at the end of the day makes it all worthwhile.”

Stanley sniffled and blinked a couple times to rid his eyes of the sting. He chuckled to hide the fact that his throat was tight with emotion and caressed the inside of Fiddleford’s thumb with his own. “You’re one of the best parts of my day, too. I…I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Fiddleford insisted with a smile. “I’m not going anywhere.”

The words struck Stanley to the core, and he felt a surge of courage. His hand fell to the box in his pocket.  

“I’m glad you said that,” Stanley said, his voice stilted as he pulled his hand away. On shaking legs, Stanley stood and took a step around the table, much to Fiddleford’s bemusement. As he dipped his hand into his pocket, Stanley added, “It’ll make it a whole lot easier to do this.”

While Stan lowered himself slowly to one knee, he pulled the box out of his pocket and was met with a gasp. Fiddleford had clapped a hand over his mouth and was staring at him, wide-eyed with shock. The adrenaline of the moment pushed Stanley to speak in a rush.

“Will you marry me?”

He popped open the box to reveal the simple gold band filigreed with patterns that resembled the circuit boards that Fiddleford often worked on when he needed to get over a mental block.

Fiddleford blinked once, twice, and then whispered, “Stanley–”

“Look, I know it’s a bit sudden, after only a year,” Stan blurted; he was flushing like a fiend. “But a couple of old farts like us don’t have time to waste. I want to make an honest man of you, and it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t do it properly. You never know how much time you have with someone; I wish I had learned that sooner, but it’s not too late for us. If I didn’t ask you this, I don’t know how I could live with myself.”

Stan blinked back a few tears and cleared his throat. “I can’t imagine being without you, and I don’t want to be, ever. I’m here with you until the end, if you’ll have me.”

He held his breath as he waited for Fiddleford’s response. Teary eyed, his partner let out a breathless “Yes, Stanley,” and proceeded to shower kisses all over his forehead and cheeks. With a grin, Stan slid the ring onto Fiddleford’s finger and caught him with a quick kiss on the lips. Applause rose from the other restaurant goers and wait staff as they broke apart, and Stanley whipped around with a half-hearted scowl.

“Nosy jerks. How’s a guy supposed to propose with a bunch of snoops?” he muttered with a glare at the rowdy bunch of college-age students pounding the table and chanting “Kiss! Kiss!”

“Stanley,” Fiddleford brought him back with a soft word and a dopey smile, “this is a lovely moment, please don’t ruin it.”

“All I’m saying is that they could at least pretend not to look–”

“Stanley.”

He sighed. “Alright, alright. It doesn’t matter, anyway. All that matters is you said yes.”

Fiddleford smiled again. “That I did.”

When their lips met again to a chorus of cheers, Stanley didn’t care about the noise. He only had eyes for his fiancé and hope for the life they would build together.

[ultramarcypan]

D Gray Man Ficlet

Summary: There are a number of quirks to Tyki’s family.  Lavi has been warned and he really should have listened--maybe then he wouldn’t find himself being snuggled to death. (aka Wisely really likes to cuddle)

Author’s Notes: Hoo boy, we need some background on this one.  So, @haloud dragged me down into D. Gray Man hell.  Both of us have a severe lack of self-control and a burning love for College AU’s and what started as a casual discussion then morphed into several Google Doc’s and well.  Ta-da~

S’all good though, I dragged haloud down into Lucky Pair hell.  This is why you don’t invite me into your fandoms, kiddos. 

But yes, moving on!  In College AU, Lavi is an overworked and underappreciated freshman Elementary Education major who happens to end up in a class where Tyki is the unfairly hot--actually, just unfair in every way--TA.  Tyki’s also in charge of taking care of his elementary school niece, his high school freshmen cousins (Jasdero and Devit), and his high school senior nephew.  Lavi may or may not have a huge crush on him; he’s working on that.

Aaaaand...well, there’s a bunch more but that’s all that you need to know for this!  But please, feel free to come ask me and haloud more about the AU, god knows we love to yell about it.

It’s raining outside and it’s way too cold, yet Tyki still won’t let him enter the house without giving a whole spiel first.  Lavi’s starting to get the very strong suspicion that the older man just likes the sound of his own voice.

“Listen to me,” his TA says, looking the most serious Lavi has ever seen him.  “I live with four little monsters, all of them with their own unique little quirks that drive me up the wall.  And their favorite thing is to mess with fresh meat.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Lavi tells him, but Tyki shakes his head.

“If anything, I’m not being dramatic enough,” he says grimly.  “I’m serious about this, Red.  They look like angels and act like devils the second you lower your guard.”

“Isn’t the oldest only 18?”  Lavi snorts.  “And you want me to believe that they walk all over you?”

Tyki lets out a dramatic sigh.  “Alright, fine.  I’ll give you the run down, and if you don’t believe me, then it’s on you when one of the little gremlins attacks.”

“Fine, fine--just make it fast.”  Anything to get out of the cold and wet.

“Jas and Devi, the twins, are going to try to pull some stupid prank on you.  They’re mainly harmless, but usually a bitch to clean up after.”

“Twins are pranksters, got it,” Lavi echos back.

“Road….I’ll be honest, I have no idea what trick Road will try to pull.  You never really know with her, you just have to stay on your toes.”

“Your niece is the Wildcard, okay.  And the fourth one?”

“Wisely?”  Tyki grins at him.  ��Actually, Wisely isn’t that big of a pain, just a bit odd.  He likes to cuddle.”

“He...cuddles?”

“Yeah,” Tyki shrugs.  “He actually gets really offended when you refuse to hug him; it’d be funny if he didn’t look like he was gonna burst into tears at any moment.”  He chuckles to himself, and Lavi takes that moment to wonder what it is he’s getting himself into.  “But yeah, common space in our house is fair ground for Wisely to cuddle up to you, and he doesn’t give a fuck if your limbs fall asleep or not--you cuddle until he decides it’s time to move.”

“Pranksters, a Wildcard, and a cuddler,” Lavi repeats diligently.  “I got it.  Even ready to take a quiz on it, if you want.”

“Yeah, like you need another 90 on the gradebook,” Tyki says with a wicked grin, and even though Lavi knows he’s only doing it to get a reaction, he still rises to the occasion.

“That’s because you are an asshole,” he snarls, taking a swipe at Tyki.  His TA laughs and steps into the entryway, just out of reach and Lavi has no choice but to follow him.  Tyki’s warnings are pushed to the back of his thoughts, and Lavi files it under the ‘probably never going to need’ part of his brain.

As it turns out, he’s dead wrong on this, and Tyki, the insufferable jackass, is right yet again.

He finds this out one evening when he’s waiting for Tyki to come home from shopping with Road, and he’s been left unattended in the other’s house.  Lavi’s sprawled out on the couch in the living room, his phone in his hand, mindlessly scrolling, when the floor creaks and he’s suddenly aware of another person’s presence.  He glances up to see Wisely standing a few feet away, a thick, cream-colored blanket draped over his head and a textbook in his hands.

“Hey,” Lavi greets, dipping his head down slightly.  Wisely blinks at him.  “Did you need something?”

Instead of answering, Wisely shuffles over to the couch, crawling onto it, his blanket trailing behind him like a cape.  “What the..?!”  Lavi yelps, as suddenly there’s an eighteen year old sprawled out on top of his chest, nestling down like a cat.  The textbook somehow ends up on Lavi’s chest and Wisely lays his head down neatly on folded arms just above Lavi’s sternum.  After a moment's pause, Wisely tugs on the blanket over his back so that it settles properly around the two of them.

“Um.”  It’s really all the speech Lavi is capable of right now.  Wisely’s eyes flicker up to his face, then to his hands which are thrown up in the air.  Lavi doesn’t even remember moving to make room for the teenager.  When Wisely’s eyes flicker from the hands to his face with pointed intensity, Lavi takes the hint and slowly lowers his hands back down so that they’re resting on the others back.

The teenager hums, evidently pleased, and turns his attention back to his textbook.

Wisely is a cuddler.  Tyki’s warning echoes in his brain, and Lavi grits his teeth.  He’s about to shove the other off of him when the second part of Tyki’s warning comes back to him.  He gets real upset when people don’t want to hug him.  A string of curses runs across his brain, and for a moment he just seethes in silence.

He’s trapped beneath a snuggly eighteen year old that he can’t toss off of him because he can’t stand to make kids cry.  The world just isn’t fair sometimes.

Although, it’s not like Wisely’s heavy or anything.  Actually, Lavi barely feels any pressure on his chest and before he can think it through he runs his hands down the other’s back, to see if he can feel ribs.  Wisely huffs a quiet laugh but otherwise doesn’t move, still very focused on his textbook.  The teen is pleasantly warm as well, and the blanket he brought with him is soft--perfect to cuddle with, if he’s being honest with himself.

Lavi settles back against the couch, bringing his hands to rest on top of Wisely’s shoulders and slowly turning the situation over in his mind.  Of all of Tyki’s wards, he’s certainly the most low maintenance.  Lavi would take a cuddler over a prankster any day of the week.  And it’s not like Wisely is hurting anyone; the teen seems perfectly content to do his homework quietly, even if he is presently using Lavi as a pillow.

Sighing, Lavi resigns himself to his situation.  It’s not like he was doing anything of importance; he can browse on his phone just as easily with a leech of a teen on him as he could alone.  Wisely doesn’t even flinch when Lavi props his phone up on his shoulder, tilting it so that it’s resting against the side of his temple.  The two of them settle into a comfortable silence that’s only punctuated by the occasional buzz of Lavi’s phone or the rustle of pages as Wisely flips through his book.

That’s how Tyki finds them when he gets home with Road.  “We’re ho--” he starts to call out, only to cut himself off when he lays eyes on the two of them.  “Oh for god's sake Wisely, this is why we can’t have people over!”  Road giggles at the exasperation in her uncle’s tone.

Wisely finally shows signs of life, propping himself up on his elbows to stare wide eyed at his uncle.  Lavi takes the opportunity to shift his legs, which he lost feeling of around ten minutes ago.

“Down.”  Tyki commands, jerking his head sharply at the ground.  “Down you animal, let the poor man go.”  To Road, he adds, “And you, you adorable little munchkin, go put the groceries away.”

Road skips off to do just so at the same moment that Wisely lets out a whine or protest that makes Lavi smile involuntarily.  “He can stay,” he says diplomatically, relishing in how Wisely turns to him with bright, hopeful eyes.  “He’s not bothering me any and he’s warm.”

“You sure?”  Tyki asks, moving closer to them.  Wisely sends him a reproachful glare that is duly ignored.  “You don’t have to be nice just because he’s cute.”

“I’m adorable,” Wisley mutters petulantly, and those are the first words Lavi’s heard him speak since he came out to the den.  He chuckles, patting the teenager on the head affectionately.

“You are,” Lavi reassures him, and is rewarded with Wisely snuggling down firmly against him.  Glancing over the teen's head, he holds his arms out to Tyki.  “Come.  Join us in the cuddle huddle.”

“Cuddle huddle?  Really, Red?”

“I wanna join!”  Road, who’s just returned from putting away the groceries, launches herself onto the couch, landing on top of her adopted brother.  Both Wisely and Lavi grunt at the impact, and Tyki fixes Road with a warning look.  “C’mon uncle, come cuddle with us!”  She urges, completely ignoring the look.

With a sigh, Tyki pinches the bridge of his nose.  “Hooligans, the lot of you,” he mumbles, even as he’s nudging legs aside so that he has room to sit down on the sofa.  “Adorable, cuddly, hooligans.”  

“No complaining in the cuddle huddle,” Lavi says, jabbing his toes into Tyki’s ribs.  His TA catches his foot mid jab, tossing it down on his lap.  He holds an arm out to Road, who eagerly presses herself against his side.

It’s peaceful and nice for all of five minutes until a loud bang from upstairs reminds them that there are two members of the rag-tag family unaccounted for.  Lavi doesn’t have to be a mind reader to tell that Tyki is seriously debating if it’s really worth it to get up and investigate the source of the noise.  He makes the decision for the older man.

“Alright,” he declares, nudging Wisely in the side gently, “Everyone up.  We’re bringing the cuddle huddle to the twins.”

It takes several long moments for everyone to get upright, and even then Tyki’s stuck cradling Wisely as they make their way towards the stairs.  Road slips her hand into his, leading the way and Tyki follows close behind with Wisely yawning in his arms, and Lavi has to smile at the absurdity of the family he’s found himself.