#It's like you WANT TO give away all your data instead if using more ethical options

[discolesbo]

Fandom people if you go to Threads you're some dumb motherfuckers

[modern-day-bard]

Other Duties As Assigned: A Joel Miller AU Fanfiction

Content Warning: 18+ This story includes mature themes such as drinking, stalking, violence, and explicit smut. Minors, do not interact.

Chapter 25: Visuals

ao3 | wattpad

word count: 3.6k

Gwen

Twice.

A few minutes later, it’s three times.

I know I’m staring, and he knows it too. In the past few minutes alone, we’ve made eye contact three—well, now four, times. But if I don’t keep it together, everyone else in the room will realize it. Best case scenario, they think I’m disinterested in the budget for the possible expansion to three of our stations on the West Coast. Which would be, I think, completely understandable. Even Julian has stifled a few yawns in the past two hours. Worst case scenario, someone calls me out for eye-fucking my bodyguard in public.

He wore the leather jacket to the office today, my own personal form of torture and he doesn’t even know it. As if I needed any more reasons to have flashbacks all day long.

I don’t think I’ve ever actually enjoyed doing that with a man before. I’ve faked the enthusiasm, given them the doe-eyes, and pretended that there was nothing else I’d rather do. That was the first night in my life that there was literally nothing else I’d rather do. And unlike before, he insisted he take care of me afterwards, and also unlike before, I declined. All I wanted was to make him feel good, to show him that he is deserving of all things positive and pleasurable. Of course it turned me on to see the veins straining in his hands clutching onto the sheets, and to hear him lose his mind from my touch. But the thought of doing anything for myself afterward was somewhere too far away to fathom. As long as Joel enjoyed himself, I did too.

That part I was going to keep to myself for a while. Or at least, far away from Nyah. Or Harper and Landon for that matter. I barely know what I’m feeling, and trying to explain that out loud would just make them more excited before I even know how to handle it. Plus there is the logistical and ethical nightmare of the fact that he is employed by my father, and he is supposed to be protecting me. And he is. He’s just making me feel…a lot while doing so.

“Do we think that’s a realistic timeline?” Carter, one of the junior data analysts, asks Julian. I at least turn my head to feign diligence.

Julian nods slowly, looking through the blueprint in front of him. “It will be tight, but we knew that…” He continues, but I can feel Joel watching me again through the glass. I risk one more glance upward, and the man is smirking at me now. Bastard.

I push my thighs together underneath the table, returning my gaze back to Julian.

One more painful hour later, and we’re done. I was itching to be alone with Joel again, but Julian follows us all the way back to my office, discussing tomorrow’s calendar on the way. When we stop outside my door, I get the urge to ask him. “Do you know what Paul’s schedule is like tomorrow?”

Julian thinks for a moment. “No, but his assistant would be able to answer. Why?”

Because I don’t want to be involved in radio longer than I have to be.

“I had a few questions for him. No biggie. Thanks, Julian.” I give him a smile before walking around to the other side of my desk, and he takes the hint to leave.

Joel hovers by the door.

“Yes, Mr. Miller?” I unbutton my blazer to take a seat, making a show out of crossing my legs.

He smirks at me again, and a rare jolt of nerves runs down my spine as he walks in and closes the door.

“Do you want lunch first, or the bad news first?” He asks.

I sigh. “Bad news, please.”

“Arthur and Janet called during your last meeting. The news is breaking today, probably in just a few hours for online publications. They’re doing a few other celebrity gossip releases at the same time. It will hopefully steer people away from your case.” He watches my face carefully for my reaction, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to feel anymore. Instead, a new thought pops into my head.

“Do you think the publication will…encourage the stalker in any kind of way?”

Joel mulls it over, running a hand down his face the way he always seems to in times of stress. “I don’t think so, but it’s impossible to know. Some of these guys would be scared back into the shadows after a release like that. Others might…”

He pauses for so long that I’m afraid he won’t finish the thought.

“Might what, Joel?”

“They might derive some sort of pleasure from the whole thing. The article mentions that you moved residences, and I think that’s the worst thing they can put in there. I can see some asshole somewhere being pleased with himself that he’s made a large enough impression for you to leave your home.”

“Wouldn’t he just be focused on finding me again?”

“Probably. But it would start with the feeling of success, that you know who he is now, in his eyes.”

“I wish I knew who he was,” I mumble.

“You and I both.” His rigid posture and agitated tone tells me everything I need to know about what might happen to the stalker if Joel ever found him.

My phone buzzes and I look down to see a text from Nyah, only to notice that it’s past five o’clock.

I raise an eyebrow at Joel. “You’re asking about lunch and it's almost dinner time?”

“You never ate lunch,” he eyes an unopened salad container on my desk. “I brought it to you and it was still untouched when we left for the budget meeting. Thought you could use the reminder.”

I glare at him despite the butterflies in my stomach. “You weren't hired to be a detective.”

“I’ve done several things I wasn’t hired to do.” His eyes are playful, his voice low…

I need to keep it together. In this building, at least. In my new apartment building, however…that’s fair game.

My phone buzzes yet again from Nyah.

“Is it the story?” He asks as if he wasn’t just alluding to our incredibly unprofessional escapades.

“No, it’s Nyah.” I pick it up, swiping the messages open. “She’s asking about Paris. I’m assuming it’s sort of out of the question now that the story will break, though.”

I start to type as Joel asks, “Do you want to go?”

Huh.

I hadn’t actually thought about what I wanted. “It sounds fun. Nyah has wanted to work with Andre Bacri for the longest time. It would be great to get the chance to cheer her on…”

“So, let’s go.”

He says it like we were, in fact, just talking about lunch.

“What?” I chuckle a little, but he’s serious.

“Time away from the city wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing. Most stalkers like this most likely won’t have the means to follow you across the world. And, I’m no public relations expert, but a couple of pictures of you out and about as if nothing happened might help the press.”

I blanch at him.

“You—the most overprotective man on the planet—think Paris is a good idea?”

A small smile tugs on his lips. “Not overprotective. Just protective,” he lowers his voice, taking another step toward my desk even though the door is still closed. “If I remember correctly, you yourself told me to guard your body.”

I hate how much of an effect this man has on me. My complexion, my breathing, my thoughts... And I hate how much I don’t want it to stop.

“Do you want to go?” He asks again, reveling in my silence.

“Yes, I would like to go.” I straighten up in my chair, determined not to get further distracted by how impossibly broad his shoulders look at this angle.

“Okay. I’ll run it by Janet to make sure it won’t do any harm.”

“Thanks, Joel.” I say it the way I would to anyone else, leaning over to power up my computer. But his name alone is enough for him to linger a moment longer, eyes drifting a little lower than what could be classified as appropriate.

With his hand on the doorknob, he asks, “Anything else I can do for you, Gwen?”

“Not at the moment, no,” My eyes flick over to him with a challenge, “Maybe later tonight. I’ll let you know.”

“I’m at your service.” He doesn’t miss a beat, which only makes me hate him more.

I start emailing Paul’s assistant before Joel has finished closing the door.

I liked Julian and the rest of the team, but I don’t have an interest in the radio part of the company. Ideally, I would be training directly underneath my father. I did for a summer or two, but in light of recent events, that privilege has been revoked. I know that it’s a long-shot for him to allow me to work for either the Russell Foundation or my mother’s foundation, also in light of recent events. Particularly those that are better kept under wraps. But from what I know, I’m wondering if I can use it as leverage. At the very least, if it’s not my mother’s charity, maybe he will be willing to put me under the Russell Foundation.

That’s where Paul comes in. If I can talk Paul into allowing me to work under him as one of the board members for Russell’s Corporation’s philanthropic side, I can bypass my father altogether. I know that he likes basketball and wasn’t able to score season passes this year, and I also know that my father hardly ever uses his box at Madison Square Garden. I just have to hope Paul isn’t above bribery. With this crowd, it's likely that he isn’t.

After checking a few more things off my list, I take another look at my phone to see several missed messages. Skimming through, Harper had someone over last night and she desperately wanted to reenact how bizarre they behaved. She was promising that only in person would do it justice.

I feel my heart clench, remembering that in a matter of hours all of the stalker information will be public knowledge. Public knowledge that my friends weren’t privy of, and will undoubtedly hear about it from a random source instead of their friend. Part of me wants to believe that whatever celebrity gossip Janet and her team are cooking up will bury my information so deep that my friends won’t hear of it. But I’ve been doing too much wishful thinking lately. They need to hear it from me directly, and soon.

- - -

To my surprise, Joel didn’t fight me when I said I wanted to go to Harper’s apartment. I had prepared a small defensive speech about how we can take a winding way home, not that Rodney and him wouldn’t have planned that anyway, but I didn’t need it. All I said was that I think they need to hear it from me, and he agreed. I was even more surprised when we arrived, he did a sweep of the place, and agreed to wait just outside.

All four of our faces were still dumbfounded even after he closed the door.

“How much did you pay him for that?” Landon jokes, taking a seat by Harper’s large bay window.

“I guess it’s pro bono.” I sit on one of the floor cushions across from them. “So, Harper, tell us about last night.” I gesture for Nyah and her to walk over and join us, but Harper shakes her head.

“I have to show you guys what happened in the bedroom. Well, I guess I can start here.” She’s bouncing up on her tiptoes in excitement.

Nyah takes a seat next to me, leaning into my side. Harper starts in the kitchen, saying that her overnight guest took a look through her fridge before running a hand along the wall, looking for…

“Your wifi, maybe?” Landon offers.

“Or maybe she was just admiring your exposed brick?” asks Nyah skeptically.

“I don’t know but it was weird. She wasn’t shy, but she spent all this time in the front of the apartment, looking at my walls and stuff. I mean, thanks to Lands, I’ve got some killer art so—”

“That’s probably why,” they wink.

“Exactly. But, anyway, we’re on the couch and I thought we were going to get to it, but then she starts asking about all my plants.”

“You do have a lot of plants. More since the last time I was here, actually,” I say. Harper’s apartment was absolutely stunning with its eclectic, bohemian charm. Even the beams above us had vines of some sort running through them, so that question, at least, wasn’t that unusual.

“You need plants in an oasis,” she says like it’s a cardinal rule, “But anyway, we’re kissing and stuff but every time I go to do a little more, she pulls away. So, I’m like okay, she’s not into it. That’s fine. But then she gets up and just walks upstairs without saying anything. Turns on all the lights, and I just hear her walking around up there.”

“Maybe that was her way of saying ‘let’s take it to the bedroom.’” Nyah drops her voice to a sultry level for the last part.

“I followed her, obviously. And she was pacing around like she meant business. I would have thought it was coke or something but I’d been with her most of the night.”

“Remember that guy last year who paced before and after sex?” I muse.

“Oh my god, yes! Except this woman, Layla, was pacing in between rooms. At least that guy kept it to one space. She kept commenting on the apartment, which was nice but I was just super confused.”

“So you guys didn’t hook up?” Landon asks.

“No, we did,” Harper grins, “Come on, that’s what I want to show you.”

The three of us exchange a look before following her up the stairs. The next ten minutes is Harper physically acting out last night’s affairs that went from the hallway, to the bedroom, to the shower. Besides the pacing, and what Harper described as staring into each windowsill, the two of them seemed to have a pretty good time.

“And, she left as soon as we were done.”

“Is that weird too?” Nyah watches Harper flop down on the bed.

“I guess not. Usually it’s guys who want to leave right away, sometimes girls do, but I don’t know. She was quite a bit older, so maybe the rules are different. I just thought the pacing and checking and questions were so weird. But I didn’t even get her number so the mystery will remain unsolved.” Harper sits up, slapping her hands on her legs. I take that as our cue to go back downstairs, but Landon puts their hands up.

“Wait. This might be easier to discuss up here.”

I give them a curious look.

“Speaking of good sex…” their eyes land on me. I wait, wondering if I can play it off.

“You and Elijah…?” I circle one hand over the other, thinking that might be where they’re going with it.

“Well, obviously. But I’m talking about you.”

My gut fully drops now.

“Oo! With who?” Harper turns to lay on her stomach, her feet kicking in the air behind her.

“Who do you think? The bodyguard she can never stop complaining about.”

“What?” I gasp, turning whirling on Nyah. “You told them?”

Nyah’s eyes grow wide and she shakes her head, but before she can say anything, Harper and Landon chime in simultaneously.

“Told us what?”

“There’s something to tell?”

Oh shit.

Nyah didn’t say anything. I should have known.

I sigh, sitting down on the edge of Harper’s bed. “I was going to tell you all sooner. And technically, it wasn’t sex, sex. I called Nye the morning after it happened, but there was some other stuff I found out right after, the reason I had to cancel. And everything became too much and—”

“Gwen, it’s okay.” Landon’s voice is careful now. “I was just teasing. Tell us whatever you want to tell us.”

“I really was going to tell you both, it’s just hard to find time away from him. And he probably doesn't want anyone to know. He told me he’s never been with a client before. I can’t imagine it’s usually encouraged.” I laugh lightly and both Nyah and Landon take a seat in front of me.

“If it’s any consolation, I can just always tell when you’ve had sex. It was a lucky guess that it was Joel.” Landon says softly.

“Lucky guess, and the fact that we all know he’s damn good looking,” Harper smiles, nudging my shoulder. “So, what’s the issue?”

I tell them everything. Even though I know it will worry Harper, and for that reason I’m glad I can’t see her face unless I crane my neck. I tell them about the gifts, the messages, the breaking of the windows, the lie about the fumigation and why I switched apartments, the background checks of my team, the fact that they aren’t allowed to know where I’m staying now. I don’t go into all the details about Joel and me, mostly because I’m too embarrassed to admit I asked him to stay. But I tell them that he did stay in my room at home with me, and that he’s been staying in my new room since we moved in. When I’m done, I take a big breath, and finally feel a relief wash over me that I haven’t felt in a long time. Not all my secrets were out, but having a few less on my shoulders was a good start.

We sit in silence for a few minutes before Nyah speaks up.

“When will the story break?”

I shrug. “Probably in the next hour or two if it hasn’t already.”

She grabs my hand and squeezes it. “I’m sorry, Gwen. I knew there were weirdos online but this is a completely different level.”

Harper hugs my shoulders from behind me. “I’m sorry, too.” After a beat she adds, “But I’m also super proud of you for sleeping with Joel.”

All of us burst out into laughter. “What?” I ask, still giggling.

“That’s not what I mean! I mean, I’m proud of you for hooking up with him, sure. But you’re letting him in. Even a little! And I think that’s great.”

I roll my eyes, but I’m still smiling. “Yes, well, we’ll see. It’s not exactly an ethical relationship.”

“You told me he tried telling you that and you kept refuting everything he said.” Nyah raises a brow at me, and I whack her lightly.

“Whatever! He was…we were…It made sense at the time.”

“Are you going to do it again?” Landon asks.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if he’ll want to.”

This time, the three of them are the ones exchanging looks.

“What?”

Landon speaks slowly, delicately. “It’s…the way he looks at you. I get it, all bodyguards have to watch their clients, but—he’s clearly infatuated with you.”

I can feel my heart rate pick up, but I shake my head. “Infatuation doesn’t mean anything.”

“Even if you look at him the same way?” They still say it gently, but it feels like a harsh slap of vulnerability. Like someone had seen the things I conceal even from myself, polished them, and placed them on a table in front of me. I’m not ready to face that reflection just yet.

“I tell you guys I have a stalker and this is what we’re talking about?” I try to laugh it off, and tonight, they let me. They have me go over a few more of the details, and Harper pulls out her phone to go through my comments. The thought of finding someone who writes similar comments to the gift notes is good and all, but there’s too many of them. And the notes were too short to really grasp onto anything.

“What did you do when you thought someone had broken in?” Nyah asks, concern etched on her perfect features.

“I grabbed a bookend and I went out to help Joel.”

“What?” Harper screeches. “You could have been killed!”

“I know, I know. I was just thinking that it could be like four guys against just him and I was picturing him getting hurt, unable to call for help and…” My voice catches slightly on the memory, and I clear my throat as quickly as I can.

Three pairs of shocked eyes are resting on me.

“What?” Unfortunately, my voice still shakes a bit as I ask.

“Like I said,” Landon gives me a small smile, “You look at him the same way.”

Previous Chapter

Masterlist

[design-studio-ui-ux]

Top Mobile App Design Trends in 2025

Which design trends will dominate your favorite apps in 2025? We have spoken to the leading mobile app designers and creative directors of the industry before coming up with this conclusive list. 

What Are Mobile App Design Trends and Why Should You Care?

Over 1.68 million apps on the Google Play Store and 1.96 million apps on the Apple App Store: that is the competition you will face if you have your own mobile app in 2025. 

For your app to stand out - it needs to offer something exceptional. Giving it a cutting-edge design is a good way of achieving that goal. That is where app design trends come into play.

App design is constantly evolving. A ‘sleek design practice’ today might be old news tomorrow. Keeping your app up-to-date with the latest trends can benefit your brand in many ways:

A fresh app design prevents users from thinking that your brand is outdated

New design trends almost always deliver superior value - something that can help you distinguish your app from its competitors.

More importantly, app design trends represent what users collectively want from apps in terms of aesthetics, usability, and accessibility. 

Following the latest app design trends is akin to giving your users what they consciously or subconsciously want. So, what do users want from their apps’ designs in 2025? Let us find out.  

Design Trend #1. Ethical Design

Ethical app design practices are gaining traction in 2025. Designers are moving away from manipulative tactics that exploit user behavior, like:

Adding unexpected charges during the checkout process.

Using buttons that look like they perform one action but actually lead to another, like “Accept All” on cookie banners that enroll users in tracking.

Designing menus that are unclear or overly complicated makes it hard for users to find what they need. 

Making it difficult for users to cancel subscriptions or trials.

Instead, the leading app designers are set to focus on creating experiences that prioritize user well-being. This includes avoiding dark patterns, focusing on features that genuinely benefit users, and implementing ways for users to provide feedback on app designs, easily.

Follow all of these guidelines while designing your app. Also, be upfront about data usage and privacy policies. Make it easy for users to manage their settings. Regularly review your design choices to ensure they align with ethical standards.

In 2025, only the apps that respect user choices will build loyalty and stand out in a crowded market full of short-cut-takers who do otherwise!

Design Trend #2. Interfaces go Multimodal

You will see many apps with multi-modal interfaces in 2025. These interfaces respond to touch, voice, gestures, and eye movement. This trend is rising as users demand more intuitive and flexible interactions across devices. We call it the “Zoom-ification” of apps.

The Zoom app allows users to control meetings through voice commands while also providing touch-based navigation. Soon, more apps will allow users to do the same, especially Apple apps. The iOS 18 update for Siri with Apple Intelligence has made all Apple apps more conversational.

Following this trend will help you enhance your app’s accessibility, especially towards younger generation users who favor gesture and voice inputs. To follow this trend:

Start by integrating gestures for common actions like swiping to delete or pinching to zoom into your app’s UI.

Then, add a voice interface to your app to let users navigate or perform tasks hands-free.

Design features that let users switch seamlessly between touch and voice commands.

Study apps like Google Assistant, Snapchat, and Amazon Alexa have already mastered this trend. Also, keep an eye on advancements like eye-tracking technology in apps.

Design Trend #3. Micro-Interactions

The Quit Vaping app has helped thousands of people quit the unhealthy habit of vaping. Their secret weapon? Micro-interactions like haptic nudges and celebratory animations motivate users as they track their progress. 

Micro-interactions are small, subtle animations or feedback mechanisms that enhance user experience in apps.

They occur during specific actions, like liking a post, sending a message, or completing a task.

These interactions provide immediate feedback, making the app feel more responsive and engaging.

When you complete a goal on the Quit Vaping app, you might see a confetti animation or receive a haptic nudge. These types of micro-interactions have a profoundly positive effect on users’ engagement and satisfaction levels. To make them a part of your app design:

Add subtle, fast-loading animations that confirm user actions (e.g., checkmarks appearing after form submissions).

Implement small alerts or vibrations for important updates.

Use animations to show progress - from loading spinners to progress bars.

Create fun celebratory effects like confetti falling when users reach a milestone.

By integrating micro-interactions into your app’s design, you can deliver more engaging experiences that keep users coming back.

Design Trend #4. Customizable Notifications 

Instead of bombarding users with every possible notification, in 2025, apps must let users choose what matters most to them. This trend recognizes that not all notifications are equally important. Plus, when users can customize notifications, they feel more in control.

It reduces the likelihood of users disabling all notifications for an app. As a result, apps can maintain effective communication with their users without overwhelming them.

Create a dedicated settings page where users can easily manage their notification preferences. Let users customize notifications by type (such as direct messages or likes) so they can choose what they want to receive. Give users the ability to snooze notifications temporarily well.

Design Trend #5. Defining User Journeys

Defining user journeys means clearly marking the beginning and end of each task a user undertakes in an app. Every interaction, be it signing up for a service or adjusting settings, should feel like a complete journey. Users should know when they start and finish a task. 

To implement this trend in your app’s design:

Use visual indicators to show users when they start and finish tasks - display messages like “Changes Saved” or “Message Sent”.

Design progress bars or step indicators that show users how far along they are in a multi-step process.

Provide immediate feedback after each major action.

Make sure users can easily navigate back to previous steps if needed, using breadcrumbs.

This type of clarity helps prevent confusion and makes users feel confident in their actions. When users understand their progress, they are less likely to abandon tasks. Clear signposts, confirmation messages, or visual cues reassure users that they have completed their actions.

Design Trend #6. Sustainability

Do app designers have a role to play in fighting climate change? Yes!

Optimizing layouts to make them more space-efficient, limiting unnecessary animations, implementing dark modes to save battery life - there are many sustainable choices designers can and should make in 2025 to minimize their apps’ environmental impact.

Design Trend #7. Giving Users Zoom Control

ALT

Allowing users to control zoom levels in apps is becoming essential. Designers are moving away from using meta tags that restrict scaling. Instead of locking users into a fixed view, apps should enable pinch-to-zoom and other scaling options.

Users with vision impairments rely on the ability to zoom in on content for better readability. By allowing Zoom, you enhance usability for all users, not just those with specific needs.

Apps that restrict Zoom can frustrate users and drive them away. Providing this control shows that you value user preferences and accessibility. To implement it in your own app’s design:

Do not use meta tags that disable user scaling.

Ensure your app layout adjusts to different screen sizes and orientations without needing to disable Zoom.

Use built-in accessibility options on iOS and Android to support user preferences for text size and contrast

Learn from apps like Pinterest, Apple Books, and Google Maps that allow users to pinch-to-zoom. Create a more inclusive app experience in 2025!

Conclusion

Working with offshore design agencies will also be a huge trend among mobile app companies in North America and Europe in 2025. Why? Cost-savings!

An offshore mobile application design agency will charge less than half of what an American or European agency will charge, for the same work.

So, if you are planning to outsource your app’s design responsibilities this year – you are not alone!

Hopefully, this guide has inspired you to get the best design possible for your app in 2025.

[oo0-will-of-the-wisp-0oo]

On ai- I think one of the main distinctions between editing something and having ai produce it is one requires. Effort, and actual time/thought behind it. Spending a minute feeding a database prompts until you get something you want is nothing compared to the countless hours put into a piece, be it writing/art/etc

You could argue that by virtue of posting something online, people sort of sign away on what people do with their art, but even in such cases you cannot deny that ai companies went about collecting data in malicious and deceptive ways- often without any time to genuinely revoke consent.

With ai art, people can replicate someone's style, which can then threaten their own personal brand/livelihood. This becomes more apparent when you know that a major part of the actors strike was specifically against ai owning the rights to people's image/voice indefinitely. An actors entire workplace existence hinges upon the fact that they will be paid to be somewhere and say and do something- this gives them the security of an income, but it also gives them the right to turn down any works they don't agree with/don't want to be a part of. By removing the actual *actor* from acting, the company can get away with not having to actually pay someone, let alone pay someone a living wage

I think the biggest reason I, and many others, are against ai, is for the same exact reason people would be against reposting art instead of reblogging, or the reason we used to get all the warnings against online piracy: it will directly hurt the creators that spent countless hours working on something. The difference between piracy and ai, however, is ai hurts creators that are just like you, and your community, and it will continue to do so if left unchecked

It is a very big win that ai generated works cannot be copywrited, bc it means that people will not be able to profit off of something they did not truly make. It would be unreasonable for someone to launch a TV show where the premise was ai, or the script itself, or the actors, and then try to claim ownership over it, and insist that they make a profit off of it, that no one else can use it, when in truth they had no part in the actual creating of the show

This is kinda a mess, and im open to more discussion/providing links to stuff mentioned later, but hopefully this is kind of an insight into why ai isn't. The best

Yes! Thanks for the discussion!

I think you’re responding to my previous post: https://www.tumblr.com/oo0-will-of-the-wisp-0oo/748487000957550592/any-of-my-people-interested-in-discussing-ai

If I were to use AI, I would be 100% honest about. Also I would charge less in most cases.

The reason being is it feels to me like it is providing me with images/information, and therefore helps me save time. I prefer to use it as a tool, though rather than use it as a means to an end. At least with the few AI I’ve experimented with, I’ve noticed that the program/algorithm kind of does a half-ass job on it’s own and the final piece would need to be edited to my satisfaction - especially text prompts. Using only text-prompts produces pretty substandard results. I find whatever the AI spits out usually needs to be edited, sometimes rather extensively, or else it’s unusable. And it takes up more time than I like for the program to process. I don’t just want to text-prompt and keep whatever gets developed.

There are some AI that you can use a photo or drawing of your own as reference. AI Arta is one of these. I’m playing around with Bing and Picsart, too. And of course EVERY app seems to be providing its users with its own AI (although usually using original products such as Dall-E or Midjourney, is what I find)…

Also, my original link on my blog said AI can’t be copyrighted… However I’ve found at least Dall-E allows you to make a profit: “Subject to the Content Policy and Terms, you own the images you create with DALL·E, including the right to reprint, sell, and merchandise — regardless of whether an image was generated through a free or paid credit. Oct 29, 2023” - although perhaps this still doesn’t mean it’s under your own copyright… I’m not sure about that.

I’ll just finish this reply to you saying I think everyone should keep discussing AI. Thanks again for your own input. I figure the more it’s talked about, the more we’ll figure out how to use it. I don’t want to snub people who are completely for or against it. I WANT to hear what people think about it. If I learn something I didn’t know before because of keeping an open mind, that’s a good thing.

Hope what I’m writing is comprehensible, it’s after 5am. I should get to sleep! lol

Here’s a website where the opinion is that AI won’t “take over” people’s jobs/artistry, but it will make their jobs more efficient for them.

[jackoshadows]

what i don’t understand is sansa stans who insist that she learnt from the best (cersei ans littlefinger) and so she’ll be an amazing ruler and player. first of all, when did she learn about the game from cersei? she was a hostage in kings landing, she wasn’t sitting in on small council meetings or anything and cersei definitely wasn’t telling her about all the moves she was making. the only time cersei really gives her ‘advice’ is during blackwater when she says that ‘tears/sex is a woman’s weapon’. regardless, cersei isn’t someone you want to be taught from, she makes terrible decision after terrible decision in affc. (since we’re on this topic, dany is the younger and more beautiful queen who foils cersei).

as for littlefinger, he’s definitely not a leader or ruler. he subtly manipulates things here and there and gets away with a lot of it because he stays under the radar. he’s not someone who inspires devotion for sure. nothing about the vale arc in affc puts sansa in an actual leadership position.

I agree it's best that no one learns how to be a ruler from Cersei Lannister, considering how much she messes up in AFfC.

And yes, it’s my opinion that Sansa's arc is leading towards outwitting Littlefinger and understanding how to play the game rather than ruling. And with two books left to go, she still has a lot of learning to do and being able to process the information available to her, analyze it and connect the dots and use the data to her advantage.

I just finished my ADwD and TWoW sample chapter re-reads so a rather long essay under the cut.

Sansa did acknowledge early on that unlike Cersei, if she were to become queen, she would prioritize getting the people's love over their fear - like the Tyrells did. But unlike the majority opinion of fandom, I think that this points to Sansa giving more importance to PR than to actual ruling. That it was better to be a loved monarch than a feared one.

It’s funny that Sansa stans often point the finger at Dany as being narcissistic, entitled and arrogant, when the few comments that Sansa makes about being queen revolve around her.

“Go ahead, call me all the names you want,” Sansa said airily. “You won’t dare when I’m married to Joffrey. You’ll have to bow to me and call me Your Grace. ” - Sansa, AGoT

“ If I am ever a queen, I'll make them love me.”  - Sansa, ACoK

Compare her quotes to those of current leaders/rulers in the books:

A good lord protects his people, he reminded himself. - Bran, ACoK

“Why do the gods make kings and queens, if not to protect the ones who can’t protect themselves?“ - Daenerys, ASoS

“And I know that a king protects his people, or he is no king at all.” Davos, ASoS

I was trying to win the throne to save the kingdom, when I should have been trying to save the kingdom to win the throne."  - Stannis, ASoS

“I am the shield that guards the realms of men. Those are the words. So tell me, my lord— what are these wildlings, if not men?”  - Jon Snow, ADwD

The other leaders in the quotes are putting the people first, prioritizing the people’s needs first no matter how much it affects the rulers themselves. Jon’s decision to let the Wildlings through the wall is necessary, but highly unpopular among his men. And ruling is more than just being beloved by the people -

"Allow me to give my lord one last piece of counsel,” the old man had said, “the same council that I one gave my brother when we parted for the last time. He was three-and-thirty when the Great Council chose him to mount the Iron Throne. A man grown with sons of his own, yet in some ways still a boy. Egg had an innocence to him, a sweetness we all loved. Kill the boy within you, I told him the day I took the ship for the Wall. It takes a man to rule. An Aegon, not an Egg. Kill boy and let the man be born.” The old man felt Jon’s face. “You are half the age that Egg was, and your own burden is a crueler one, I fear. You will have little joy of your command, but I think you have the strength in you to do the things that must be done. Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born.” - Jon Snow, ADwD

This is the hard part of ruling be it in the middle ages or now. It’s not enough to be a good man to be an effective ruler. It’s complicated and it’s hard.  How do I resolve this thing? Do I do the moral thing? But what about  the political consequences of the moral thing? Do I do the pragmatic, cynical thing and kind of screw the people who are screwed by it? I mean, it is HARD. - GRRM

In this context, Sansa’s quote about being queen comes off as naive, ignorant, fairy taleish, like the queens in her stories - where everyone loves the queens and that’s all that’s necessary to be one.

It’s easy for Sansa stans to nitpick and criticize each and every one of Dany’s decisions and then praise future best queen Sansa - who has done absolutely nothing as a leader and has instead thus far served as an uncritical narrator to events around her. We don’t know what kind of leader Sansa would be because she has never been put in those situations or even shown an aptitude for strategic thinking.

Let me use an example I came across while recently re-reading ADwD and TWoW sample chapters. TWoW spoilers - if you don’t want to be spoiled on TWoW, please read no further.

-------------------------------------------------------

In ADwD, Jon is confronted with food shortage if they let the Wildlings through the wall:

“If we had sufficient coin, we could buy food from the south and bring it in by ship,” the Lord Steward said. We could, thought Jon, if we had the gold, and someone willing to sell us food. Both of those were lacking. Our best hope may be the Eyrie. The Vale of Arryn was famously fertile and had gone untouched during the fighting. - Jon Snow, ADwD

I have already written extensively on Jon’s political know-how of the North and using it in his strategizing and planning of Stannis’ campaign. But here we see that his knowledge extends to the south, where, knowing that the Vale stayed neutral during the WOT5K and it’s geography of being fertile, he sees it as a possible source to buy food for the Wall.

Now let’s go to the Vale in book 6, TWoW, Alayne’s sample chapter. After being called a bastard by Harry the Heir, a hurt Sansa goes looking for Littlefinger and chances upon a scheme of price gouging:

Near the bottom, she heard Lord  Grafton’s booming voice, and followed.

“The  merchants are clamoring to buy and the lords are clamoring to sell,”  the Gulltowner was saying when she found them. Though not a tall man, Grafton was wide, with thick arms and shoulders.  His hair was a dirty blond mop.  “How am I to stop that, my lord?”

“Post guardsmen on the docks. If need be, seize the ships. How does not matter, so long as no food leaves the Vale”

“These prices, though,” protested fat Lord Belmore,” 

“These prices are more than fair. Wait. If need be, buy the food yourself and keep it stored. Winter is coming. Prices must go higher.”

“Perhaps,”  said Belmore, doubtfully. “Bronze Yohn will not wait, ” Grafton complained. “He need not ship through Gulltown, he has his own ports. Whilst we are hoarding our harvest, Royce and the other Lords Declarant will turn theirs into silver, you may be sure of that.”

“Let  us hope so,”  said Petyr. “When their granaries are empty, they will  need every scrap of that silver to buy sustenance from us. And now if  you will excuse me, my lord, it would seem my daughter has need of me.”

“Lady Alayne,” Lord Grafton said. “You look bright-eyed this morning.” ” You  are kind to say so, my lord. Father, I am sorry to disturb you, but I  thought you would want to know that the Waynwoods have arrived.”

We are now in book 6 territory, this would be the point where a future queen/leader Sansa reflects on what she just saw - Littlefinger is hoarding grain and letting Royce and others sell theirs so that he can later increase the prices for demand from a starving populace and have the rest of the Vale Lords be dependent on him and with winter coming, there is currently much demand for the grain.

This would be where, if GRRM is writing for the future leader of the North, Sansa would wonder what is happening in the North with respect to the food situation since she just heard that merchants are clamoring for grain and winter is coming. Or she would think on LF’s scheme - is it a good plan or a bad plan? Does she think that Yohn Royce is right to sell his grain? What is her view on hoarding all the food for price gouging while people possibly starve elsewhere? What does she think of starving the populace for profit? Does she approve? Or does she think it’s ethically wrong?

We get no answers to these questions to give us a hint of what kind of ruler future best queen Sansa will be. It’s a blank slate because while Sansa acts as a narrator here and describes one of LF’s little schemes, she herself as no opinion on it. Instead Sansa’s immediate concern when speaking to Littlefinger is that Harry the Heir called her a bastard in front of everyone. Meanwhile Dany in ADwD:

Skahaz had been named Warden of the River, with charge of all the ferries, dredges, and irrigation ditches along the Skahazadhan for fifty leagues, but the Shavepate had refused that ancient and honorable office, as Hizdahr called it, preferring to retire to the modest pyramid of Kandaq.

Mounted men were of more use in open fields and hills than in the narrow streets and alleys of the city. Beyond Meereen's walls of many-colored brick, Dany's rule was tenuous at best. Thousands of slaves still toiled on vast estates in the hills, growing wheat and olives, herding sheep and goats, and mining salt and copper. Meereen's storehouses held ample supplies of grain, oil, olives, dried fruit, and salted meat, but the stores were dwindling. So Dany had dispatched her tiny khalasar to subdue the hinterlands, under the command of her three bloodriders, whilst Brown Ben Plumm took his Second Sons south to guard against Yunkish incursions.

The most crucial task of all she had entrusted to Daario Naharis, glib-tongued Daario with his gold tooth and trident beard, smiling his wicked smile through purple whiskers. Beyond the eastern hills was a range of rounded sandstone mountains, the Khyzai Pass, and Lhazar. If Daario could convince the Lhazarene to reopen the overland trade routes, grains could be brought down the river or over the hills at need …

The sea provides all the salt that Qarth requires, but I would gladly take as many olives as you cared to sell me. Olive oil as well."

"I have none to offer. The slavers burned the trees." Olives had been grown along the shores of Slaver's Bay for centuries; but the Meereenese had put their ancient groves to the torch as Dany's host advanced on them, leaving her to cross a blackened wasteland. "We are replanting, but it takes seven years before an olive tree begins to bear, and thirty years before it can truly be called productive. What of copper?"

Sansa does not come anywhere close to Dany and Jon in terms of leadership and that she’s so often pushed as this future queen in fandom, including by bnfs and so called asoiaf experts, is baffling, frustrating and hilarious.

What, if any, attributes does Sansa have to even be a peacetime ruler? After the war means rebuilding from scratch, making deals, hard bargaining, strategizing, using political tools, rebuilding the economy for war torn lands, get in the food, grow the food - precisely the kind of thing Dany is doing in Meereen. Or Jon thinking of building green houses in the Gift to grow food.

But Sansa building a snow model of Winterfell means that she’s the best qualified peace time ruler? Reddit dudebros and so called tumblr feminists united in wanting female characters who wield soft power and uphold the patriarchy as future rulers.

Even when it comes to personal growth, while Sansa has come a long way from her AGoT days, she still has some catching up to do with her peers. After getting hold of LF, Sansa complains that Harry is a horrible person for calling her a bastard.

Come,” Petyr said, “walk with me.” He took her by the arm and led her deeper into the vaults, past an empty dungeon. “And how was your first meeting with Harry the Heir?”

“He’s horrible.”

“The world is full of horrors, sweet. By now you ought to know that. You’ve seen enough of them.”

“Yes,” she said, “but why must he be so cruel? He called me your bastard. Right in the yard, in front of everyone.”

Now, personally, this is the point where I would like some introspection from Sansa. Remember when Sansa called out Jon as a jealous bastard in front of her friends in AGoT and Arya defended him?

Sansa sighed as she stitched.  “Poor Jon,” she said.  “He gets jealous because he's a bastard.”

“He’s our brother,” Arya said, much too loudly. Her voice cut through the afternoon quiet of the tower room.

“Our half brother,” Sansa corrected, soft and precise. - Arya, AGoT

Considering the way Sansa ignored Joffrey’s attack on Arya, it’s a good bet that if Harry the Heir had called out Jon Snow as a bastard in front of everyone in AGoT, Sansa would not have an issue with it. Now that she is being insulted as one, she gets to experience the hurt that Jon felt everyday growing up in Winterfell as a real bastard.

But even here, she refuses to scrutinize the situation more than simply getting angry at being called a bastard. Sansa is often held up as this compassionate, kindest person, ‘beacon of hope for the future’, a queen who cares for the masses etc. But where is her questioning why the classist prejudice against bastards is in itself wrong?

She is angry that she is being called a bastard, she is not angry that bastards are treated as less than. She doesn’t question the societal prejudice against bastards, only angry that she has to pretend to be one and be insulted as one. She doesn’t spare a second reflecting on her bastard brother Jon Snow or question her low opinion of bastards:

Sansa could never understand how two sisters, born only two years apart, could be so different. It would have been easier if Arya had been a bastard, like their half brother Jon. She even looked like Jon, with the long face and brown hair of the Starks, and nothing of their lady mother in her face or her coloring. And Jon’s mother had been common, or so people whispered. Once, when she was littler, Sansa had even asked Mother if perhaps there hadn’t been some mistake. - Sansa, AGoT

And that’s the difference I see between Sansa and characters like Dany, Arya, Jon, Brienne and even with Tyrion and Penny. While GRRM interrogates Westerosi society prejudices, feudalism, classism, sexism, slavery, ableism, bigotry, the effects of war on the small folk etc with these other characters, Sansa rarely reflects on these issues. That’s why it makes no sense when epithets like ‘embodiment of hope for the future’ is used to describe the character. Hope for whom? The small folk? The patriarchy? The feudal lords?

Sansa being nice to people like the stuttering Ser Wallace is held up as her being the kindest ever. But Jon is nice to Shireen, Arya is kind to Weasel, Jaime is kind to Tyrion. Why is kindness and compassion only highlighted for Sansa, like some unique feature of hers when many characters, even the villains, exhibit kindness?

This is Jon Snow in ADwD

“I see what you are, Snow. Half a wolf and half a wildling, baseborn get of a traitor and a whore. You would deliver a highborn maid to the bed of some stinking savage. Did you sample her yourself first?” He laughed. “If you mean to kill me, do it and be damned for a kinslayer. Stark and Karstark are one blood.”

“My name is Snow.”

“Bastard.”

“Guilty. Of that, at least.”  - Jon Snow, ADwD

This is Sansa Stark in TWoW:

Ser Harrold looked down at her coldly. “Why should it please me to be escorted anywhere by Littlefinger’s bastard?”  

“Yes,” she said, “but why must he be so cruel? He called me your bastard. Right in the yard, in front of everyone.”  - Alayne, TWoW

Sansa in TWoW is as hurt by the bastard moniker as Jon Snow was in AGoT when addressed as such by Tyrion. She’s emotionally where Jon Snow was in AGoT, while Jon has matured enough to not care for such insults anymore. And this is book 6! I guess it makes sense considering Jon is 16 -17 and Sansa would be 13 - 14 years old, making her younger than him in AGoT. But this is why the whole ‘Jon should take Sansa’s advice to rule because she’s the smartest ever!’ trash the show pushed to hype up Sansa is complete nonsense.

I don’t know how many chapters GRRM will be devoting to Sansa in the Vale in TWoW, but there’s still a lot of growth and character development pending for book Sansa. As I have always said, Sansa has a lot of information but she rarely if ever introspects on what she has heard and seen. She knows that LF last had Jeyne Poole but at one point wonders where Jeyne Poole is... Just ask LF dammit! She knows that Lysa had Jon Arryn poisoned on LF’s say so and knows that SweetRobin is being dosed with dangerous levels of Sweetsleep and that LF is banking on his death and yet thinks that SweetRobin will be okay. She needs to start putting two and two together to come up with four and I suspect that in itself will take up the whole of TWoW.

So will Sansa become any kind of queen or ruler? No. If she survives the books, I can see her being Lady of the Vale and be moving the chess pieces around. I can see her gaining agency and maybe even be the real power in the Vale aka Littefinger. Just like Jon, Arya, Bran and Dany I think Sansa will be a darker character in TWoW. The game of thrones cannot be played honorably and she will need to get her hands dirty to outwit LF and take him down at his own game.

The point where Sansa simply stops narrating what she sees and actually starts analyzing what she sees in her POV chapters is when the student will become the master and I am excited to see that happening.

[teacupfulofstarshine]

LOVELY, DARK, AND DEEP CHAPTER 10

PLEASE HEED THE CONTENT WARNINGS!!! this chapter features Evil Scientist Lady and her Fucked Up WorldView a LOT, and there are also some Major Plot Events that involve Violence. i will put a summary in the end notes if you decide at any point that this particular chapter is too much - that's super valid! i will also mention here that no main characters are going to die in this story and no one dies in this chapter either.

huge huge thanks to @flamingfawkes for beta’ing!

CW: extreme disregard for human life, mentioned human and animal cruelty, toxic workplace environment, violence (both imagined and actual, mildly graphic), gun mention, minor blood, death threats, extremely unethical character, unethical science, stalking

chapter 1 // chapter 2 // chapter 3 // chapter 4 // chapter 5 // chapter 6 // chapter 7 // chapter 8 // chapter 9 // read it on ao3!

“This is the same result we’ve gotten the last twenty times -”

“I don’t care, Steven, run it again!”

Steven sighs, punching at the keyboard to run the statistical analysis sequence again. “This is ridiculous! I’ve run this sequence so many times it feels like my eyes are going to bleed. Why can’t we just turn in the results we have and -”

“Because she’ll behead us,” James snaps, “and then she’ll destroy our reputations and our families and they’ll get no severance. I have three young children at home, Steven, I need this money.” Steven softens a little, fingers running smoothly over the keys as he combs the data again. Next to him, James has a computer screen full of frame-by-frame stills of what little data they recovered from the probe before it was destroyed; Penny across the room is surrounded by ancient texts a mile high and at least three laptops.

“Why is she so interested in this, anyway?”

“It’s beyond me. Since when do we question the whims of what we’re told to do?”

Steven squints at the screen, pushing his chair back and rubbing at his eyes. “If I have to stare at these numbers for one more second, my brain is going to explode. I feel like my eyeballs are going to melt out of my skull. I wanna scream.”

James pulls up another image, staring at the blurry image of the merman before him. Steven pushes away from his own screen and squints at James’s. The merman in the photo looks young, not much older than his kid brother, but they don’t know anything about the lifespan of these creatures. He looks confused, squinting at the camera. As James flicks through the stills, the merman transitions from confused to angry to enraged, and then he attacks.

“He’s not happy about the camera.”

“Would you be happy about someone spying on you and your family?” James says, switching to the next still.

“I wouldn’t be happy if I thought someone was doing anything we do in this lab to me or my family.” James elbows Steven, but luckily no one else seems to have heard.

“This lab isn’t the most ethical place I’ve ever worked, but it pays the bills,” James mutters. “And we’re not even in the experimentation lab. We just do data analysis. We’re removed from the situation.”

Are we? Steven wonders. He sees James reach out and touch the framed picture of his daughters, and keeps his mouth shut. He turns back to his computer, watching the little spinning color wheel of his mouse as the program calculates the same numbers again and again. The results come up identical to the previous ones, and Steven clicks “Run Program” again wordlessly.

They work in silence for a while, the three of them, broken only by James’s muttering and the occasional thud of one of Penny’s books and the clicks of keyboards and mice. If they weren’t so reliant on technology, Steven thinks, there would be an enormous corkboard spanning three of the four walls, covered in pushpins and handwriting and red string connecting images. He debates actually building one, if only to increase the levity in the room, but decides against it.

He’s seen people punished or fired or who-knows-what-else for far less, after all.

Instead, after his program tells him for the twenty-third time that his results are the same (and didn’t someone say insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?), Steven scrubs at his eyes with the heels of his palms and opens the data entry window. Maybe the problem with the results has to do with the entry of the data; did he input something wrong? It’s possible . . .

Here he goes again, he supposes. He stands up, stretches, and leans back to crack some vertebrae. “I’m gonna grab a coffee, take a short screen break, and go back to the beginning. Maybe there’s something in the input that I missed. You want anything?”

James groans, thunking his head against the desk. “I want something with enough caffeine to kill three elephants, please.” Steven nods, looking over at Penny. She shakes her head, and he heads for the shitty coffee machine a few doors down.

Several floors below, a young woman pulls her lab goggles up to rest on top of her head with her perfectly-pinned protocol-compliant bun. “The latest round of tests is completely done, ma’am. I think you’ll find the efficacy . . . striking.”

She takes the clipboard, glossy perfectly-painted nails pinching the sheets of thin paper and flicking between them. “I’m afraid I don’t do so well with the scientific side of things - Kathleen, was it? Explain this to me, would you?”

“Certainly, ma’am. As you know, the kill time for the most effective neurotoxin currently available, tetrodotoxin, varies from thirty minutes to four hours. Average time for symptoms to manifest is seventeen minutes, and from there the symptoms progress through tingling of the lips and tongue, headache, vomiting, muscle weakness, ataxia, et cetera. Death occurs as a result of respiratory or heart failure, and the poison is nearly undetectable if you do not specifically test for it.”

“The untraceability is a plus, but that is far too wide a range of times, and too slow a time even at its fastest.”

“Of course, ma’am, but as far as naturally-occurring marine poisons go - actually, as far as naturally-occurring poisons go, full stop - it is the most effective. Until now, that is.”

“Oh? What are your findings?”

“Which trials would you like to start with, ma’am?”

“The human trials, Kathleen. The only ones that matter. I hardly intend to go around killing mice and hoping that no one traces their deaths to a novel neurotoxin.” She laughs airily, and Kathleen nods along.

“Certainly, ma’am. The most recent data points indicate an average efficacy time of thirteen minutes for our compound neurotoxin, with a full range between nine and seventeen minutes passing before subject death. Subjects began to show symptoms around five minutes, give or take twenty-five seconds.”

“And those symptoms were?”

Kathleen flips through the document. “Seizures, vital organ failure, blindness, painful muscle spasms, suffocation from the inside out.”

She hums, tapping a manicured finger against the report. “Well, Kathleen, that is certainly impressive, especially for a preliminary human subject trial. These results . . . I must say, they are not nearly as disappointing as I anticipated when I came down here.”

“Ma’am?”

“How long have you worked for this company, Kathleen?”

“Almost five years, ma’am, but I’ve always been an assistant. This is my first time as lead researcher and biochemist on a project, ever since you . . . laid off the previous lead researcher.”

“Kathleen, let me be frank. These results are not what I hoped for. The efficacy time and symptom onset times are both far too long for my liking, and the range of efficacy time is too broad. By all accounts, I should consider this a failure.” Kathleen swallows, but remains poised. “However, you’ve managed to shave off a considerable amount of time from the tetrodotoxin readings. The range of symptom onset time is an acceptable breadth, and your results are far beyond anything your predecessor ever accomplished for me. This is truly impressive, all things considered.”

“Thank you, ma’am. How should I proceed?”

“I want the efficacy doubled - tripled - I want it upped by anywhere between four and five hundred percent. I want the pain increased, too. Feel free to increase your requests for test subjects, but get me the results I want. You said the original tetrodotoxin was untraceable?”

“That’s correct, ma’am.”

“Can you keep that feature intact?”

“As of right now, it is intact, ma’am. I will endeavor to keep it so in future experiments.”

“That’s what I like to hear. Welcome to your new position as head of this research division. Don’t let me down.” She holds out a slender hand, and Kathleen takes it, trying not to seem too eager.

“I won’t, ma’am.”

“How soon can you start this experiment up again?”

“The cleaners should be finished by tomorrow morning, ma’am, and I can tweak chemical formulas until then.”

“Excellent.” Her watch beeps, and she lifts it, pursing her bright lips as she examines the message she’s just received. “If you’ll excuse me, I have another matter to attend to. Someone will drop off your master access key for Lab Three within the hour.”

She steps into the elevator and lifts her watch up to her face, swiping through the messages from her secretary. One finger reaches out to press the button for the digital analysis labs floor, and the other taps away at her watch.

When she steps off the elevator, her secretary is waiting. “Ma’am.”

“What do they have for me?”

“Unclear. They said it was something they wanted to report directly to you and you alone, but it seems to be something big.”

“Hopefully it’s a big step in the right direction, or they’ll be taking a big step out of a job.” She relishes in the way the employees she passes all unfailingly flinch and then snap to perfect attention when they hear the sharp echo of her heels against the floor. She lifts her head and walks faster, striking the tiles with her heels like a gavel, sharp and precise against a judge’s desk.

The computer labs are disorganized when she enters, but there is a string of promising-looking numbers on the main display monitor. There is a woman surrounded by books and a man pulling up photos on his computer, and there is a third man standing in front of her like a toy soldier. She focuses on that one.

“I hear you have news for me? Make it swift, and make it good.”

He swallows, hard, and her eyes idly trace the line of his throat. If he disappoints her, perhaps she will drive her heel through it, to make an example of him. That would be far too messy; perhaps his dominant hand will do.

“I have narrowed down the location of the missing net, ma’am. I believe it to have washed up somewhere around these general GPS coordinates.” He fiddles with a remote in his hand, and the image on the screen changes. It shows an aerial satellite view of a secluded strip of beach, framed by rocky cliffs with larger rocks studded out into the open water. “It should have washed up somewhere in this one-point-three-seven-mile strip of beach. The whole area is property of one Doctor Thomas Sanders.”

She snarls. “That man. He won’t let us on that beach willingly until hell freezes over.”

The other man, the one scanning through photo stills and video footage, jumps up, knocking his chair backwards. “I found something!”

She turns towards him, and his excitement freezes and sputters into something much more controlled and terrified. “Show me.” He clicks something and pulls up video footage from one of their surveillance drones, zooming in on a particular patch of ocean along the stretch of Sanders’ beach. Her eyes widen when she sees what he’d noticed - a hump of red-and-white tail arcing above the waves before a pattern of ripples streaks off towards the cliff. He pauses the footage, rewinds it, uses a laser pointer to show an opening concealed in the cliff face.

“There’s some kind of grotto in there, hidden by the cliff. It’s on Sanders’ property, he has to know it’s there. And it looks like the merman from the destroyed drone knows it’s there too. Which means -”

“That must be where he’s keeping them.” Something burns in her chest, brilliant and terrifying and all-encapsulating, like wildfire. “We’ve found them, at long last.”

“What would you have me do?” her secretary asks. “I can arrange for a recovery squad at your earliest possible convenience, ma’am.”

“Assemble the squad, but do not have them move out. They will wait for my orders. When they go, you are to go with them.” Her secretary nods, once, sharp and sure. “Dispatch a crew to Lab One and clear it out. I want it prepped for containment, vivisection, chemical tests - the works. Get at least three tanks set up and one strap-down human table.”

“A human table, ma’am?”

“Yes. We have to deal with Sanders once and for all to ensure that he does not ruin any future experiments.”

“Will we be taking him as well?”

She hums thoughtfully. “No. Pull up the file we have on his known associate?”

A few swift clicks and flicks and a photo appears on the large screen: a young man with brown-and-purple hair, sleeves rolled up, carefully lowering a perfectly viable specimen into the ocean and letting it go, like some kind of fool. “His doctoral student, ma’am. The longest one he’s ever kept - this one has been with him a few years.”

“Excellent. When you raid the lab, take him.”

“Should we kill Sanders?”

“No. Rough him up a little, but leave him alive. Taking his protégé and leaving him alone, helpless to rescue him, will be the highest form of torture for such an insufferable person. The agony will eat him alive until his dying day.”

Her secretary nods, taking the notes down dutifully. The other employees look vaguely horrified, but she pays them no mind. No sacrifice is too great to be made in the name of progress, and anyone who thinks otherwise is a weakling who will never get anywhere in life.

She refuses to be one of those weaklings.

*~*~*~*~*

Logan wakes up confused.

He’s warm, warmer than he thinks he’s ever been in his whole life. When he stirs, he moves farther than he meant to - he must not be underwater. That’s enough to send a jolt of concern through his sleep-addled brain. Why isn’t he underwater? Why was he sleeping if he was above the surface? There’s no way his dad is here, and Roman hates surfacing, where are they? Where is he? But he’s so comfortable . . .

Someone shifts beside him, an arm draping across his waist, and Logan forces his eyes open. He shifts his lower half, confused when two things move instead of one, and there are layers upon layers of thin, flat, soft things wrapping around him. What is happening?

Slowly, slowly, his mind clears, and he remembers the events of last night. He grew legs - he was a human, once, before he was mer - he couldn’t sleep underwater with Dad and Roman - Virgil was teaching him to walk - Virgil put “clothes” on him - Virgil was embarrassed that he didn’t have those “clothes” on him - Virgil took him out of the lab to sleep - Virgil agreed to cuddle him since his pod couldn’t -

Logan feels the strange burning in his face again as he shifts. He can’t see well in this new human form, but when things are close enough to his face they’re relatively clear. And Virgil, still sleeping, is close enough that Logan can smell him - he smells like salt water mixed with something sharp and something sweet and something else that Logan can’t quite identify but finds addicting nonetheless. Sunlight streams in and pools around Virgil’s face, illuminating the tangled mess of hair spread around him and flopping into his face, the small puddle of water leaking out from his open mouth onto the soft thing he’s resting his head on, the way his chest moves slowly with every breath. His arm is wrapped around Logan, pulling him close. Logan thinks he might explode if he focuses on this any more, so he rolls from his side to his back as carefully as he can, not wanting to wake Virgil. Virgil tightens his arm around Logan and mutters something indecipherable in his sleep, but he doesn’t wake.

Rather than focusing on his very confusing feelings for the very pretty man next to him, Logan focuses on what he can see of the room around him. He makes a list in his mind of things that he plans to ask Virgil about later today, including:

1: There are many draws attached to the small, smooth cliffs surrounding them. How do they stay there?

2: There are lots of “clothes” scattered all around the floor, and there were several on the bed, too. Is that normal for humans?

3: Last night, Virgil did something that made the room light up with trapped sunlight! How did he do that?

4: How did Virgil get ice to stay in those big frozen sheets in such a warm place to let the sunlight in?

5: How did Virgil make ice into that weird shape that he filled with water and drank last night?

6: How did Virgil get the water to come into this place?

7: Do all humans have a specific area set aside for sleeping? Logan and his pod usually just sleep wherever they can, but Virgil seems to have this soft slab set aside with all of these soft things to be comfortable and sleep in every night. Is this a Human Thing or strictly a Virgil Thing?

Logan looks out through the sheet of ice that protects Virgil’s area from the outside and gasps. He can’t see well, but there’s a glittering expanse of blue that shifts and moves and oh, is that the ocean?

He’s spent his whole life (well, his whole remembered life, anyways) in the ocean, and he’s seen some truly wondrous things. He travels around the world with his pod, he knows the ocean is big, but seeing it spread out like this is . . . awe-inspiring. Logan has never seen the ocean like this, and now that he has he doesn’t think he can ever not see it like this again. It’s like a perfect sheet of sea-glass, rippling and unbroken but dynamic in a way that he never really gets a sense of when he’s beneath it.

He knows that there are waves, of course. There are smaller swells out on the open ocean, and larger ones when the Second Goddess dips her fingers down from the Upper Ocean and swirls the storms to a thundering burst. There are waves along the shoreline, ones that he frolics in with Roman and batter him against the shoreline. There are waves created when he or his pod members surface. But watching the movement of the ocean from up here is . . .

Even with his imperfect vision, he is completely at a loss for words as he stares at the ocean.

Eventually, Virgil stirs next to him, and Logan turns away from the ocean to stare at him. Virgil is close to him, arms wrapped tightly around him, face pressed against him. Logan’s eyesight is not great, but Virgil is close enough that he can pick out little details of his face. There are brown face scales scattered all over him, but they seem to cluster on his nose and his cheeks. Logan has wanted to touch them for a substantial amount of time, and he can’t stop himself from gently settling the tips of his fingers over Virgil’s cheek.

His face doesn’t feel like Logan was expecting. The scales don’t give texture to his face the way that Logan’s do; the skin is smooth and flat. There are little bumps all over, but the brown scales aren’t raised off the skin like Logan expected. He lets his fingers trail along Virgil’s face. His bone structure seems to be exceedingly similar to Logan’s, at least in regards to his head. Logan’s finger rests gently on the curve of bone under Virgil’s eye, and Virgil exhales warm breath onto his palm.

Logan wonders what it would be like to have this for longer than just his recovery period. He wonders what it would be like to wake up next to Virgil all the time, to get to run his hands over Virgil’s face and arms and chest and examine the differences between their anatomy. He wonders what it would be like to learn to walk without falling over, and he feels a sharp, unexpected twinge in his chest as he realizes that getting better at walking means no more closeness to Virgil.

His chest feels strange, like there’s a school of small fish swarming around and tickling his insides and making him feel all foamy, like the froth churned up by a windswept sea. He feels like he does when he’s underwater - free, weightless, mobile, limited by nothing except his own imagination. He feels unstoppable.

Virgil makes a sudden, sharp inhale, blinking his eyes open slowly. Logan thinks that, perhaps, he might not appreciate being studied unknowingly - he hadn’t appreciated Virgil doing it, before he understood what was happening, when all he knew was the loss of his pod aching like a scraped-out seashell. As Virgil wakes up, Logan shifts, turning his gaze to the rest of the room.

Virgil makes a sleepy grumbling noise, opening one eye. Logan chances another quick glance at him, and when his eye slides open Logan is struck by its beauty. He doesn’t get much of a chance to admire it, however, before Virgil is jolting backwards like Logan’s struck him with lightning. Logan is confused, reaching out and gently touching his shoulder. “Virgil?”

“Wassat?! Wait . . . L’gan?”

“It is me,” Logan says softly. “Are - are you upset with me?”

Virgil yawns, jaw dropping to his chest, revealing a flash of teeth and a soft pink tongue. (Logan wants to lick it. Why does Logan want to lick it? Why is Logan thinking about Virgil’s tongue licking his tongue - why is Logan thinking about Virgil - what in the Seven Oceans is happening to him.) “Wh - no, no, ‘m okay, I just - woke up, forgot I had you with me, got confused about another person in my bed.” Before Logan can start to feel bad, Virgil adds, “S’okay if it’s you, though,” and the foamy, floaty feeling is back.

“Did you sleep well?”

Virgil laughs, low and rumbling, and Logan can feel it in his fingers where he touches Virgil’s skin. “I never sleep well.” He sits up, and the fabric of his pajamas shifts to let Logan see stretches of soft, supple skin that he usually doesn’t. Logan wants to touch it. He very determinedly keeps his hand on Virgil’s shoulder. “Gotta admit, though, last night was . . . better than usual.”

This appears to be the point where Virgil first notices their position - pressed together, arm slung over Logan, basically cuddling the way that Logan normally would with his pod. (No tangle with his pod has ever felt this . . . electric, this charged, this important��to Logan before.) His face flares a brilliant red, and he shifts like he wants to move away but -

“I’m sorry,” Virgil says. “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No!” Logan blurts out. Virgil blinks at him a little, and maybe he was a little overly enthusiastic, but - “I sleep in a tangle with Dad and Roman all the time. I have extreme difficulty sleeping without contact with someone else. It . . . helped me greatly.”

“Oh,” Virgil says, face turning redder still, smiling shyly. “That - makes me feel better. Thanks, Lo.”

Logan smiles, and Virgil smiles too, reaching up to gently move a piece of hair away from his face. Logan thinks that, as far as deaths go, his chest exploding (which seems to be getting more and more likely every fifteen seconds he spends in Virgil’s presence, only accelerated by all this skin-on-skin contact they’re having right now) seems to be the most pleasurable.

Virgil opens his mouth to say something, but whatever it was is interrupted by a Ping! noise from across the room. “What is that?” Logan asks. Virgil, sadly, untangles himself from Logan and the blankets, sliding out of bed and heading over to one of the other structures in the room (what did he call it last night? Dex?) and picking up a flat glowing rectangle.

“Is everything alright?”

“What? Yeah, yeah, I - Thomas sent me a text, it’s a little weird.”

“What is a text?”

“It’s a kind of human messaging system, it allows us to communicate when we’re far away from each other.”

“Like a pod call?” “Kind of? I’ll explain more later, I promise, I just - I gotta go down to the lab real quick.”

“I’ll come with -”

“No!” Virgil snaps. Logan flinches, and Virgil softens, crossing the room and gently touching his shoulder. “Hey, no, Logan, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I just - this message, there’s something off. I think something might be wrong, and I don’t want to put you in any unnecessary danger. Just - wait here, okay? Wait in my room, where it’s safe. It’s probably nothing, he’s probably fine, but on the off chance that he’s not, I want you to stay hidden safely up here.”

Logan isn’t sure why this makes his face heat up slightly, but it does. “Okay. I accept your apology, and I . . . trust you.”

Virgil smiles, soft and heartwarming, and Logan is beginning to give more credence to his “chest explosion is fine, actually” theory. “Wait for me here, okay? I’ll be right back. I promise.”

He leaves, shutting the door firmly behind him, and the foamy feeling in Logan’s chest dissipates a little. He can’t quite put his finger on it, but there’s something . . . off. If Logan didn’t know better, he’d think that he was sensing a predator approaching.

But that can’t be right, he isn’t underwater. His danger senses are likely just overreacting to his disappointment at Virgil’s absence.

. . . Right?

*~*~*~*~*

Thomas is beginning to regret letting Roman and Patton (specifically, Roman) out of the large tank before finishing his first coffee of the morning.

“I want some!” Roman complains.

“Do you even know what it is?” Thomas says. Roman pouts sulkily at him.

“. . . No,” he mutters, rolling his eyes. Thomas gives him the deadpan, no-nonsense, I-am-your-direct-superior-take-the-damn-samples-Virgil stare that he has perfected over the past few years. Roman wilts a little more, and Thomas feels slightly bad.

“It’s called coffee,” he says. “It’s a hot drink that lots of people have in the morning. Some people drink it plain, and some people add things to it to change the way it tastes. It helps me wake up more and get focused to start my day, and sometimes I drink it late at night to help keep me awake.”

Roman looks less like a kicked puppy and more like Logan, eyes wide and curious. “I want some!”

Thomas, taking a sip of his own two-seconds-of-cream-five-cubes-of-sugar coffee, nearly spits it out. He looks at Roman, eyes the very sharp, very detachable, very toxic spines covering his body, and says, “No.”

Roman’s demeanor changes entirely, switching from “curious toddler” to “toddler about to throw a temper tantrum” in a heartbeat. “Why not?!”

“Because when people drink coffee without being used to it, sometimes it makes them a little crazy.”

“I’m not crazy!”

“Do I need to recount to you how many times you’ve threatened me and my assistant since we met you?” Thomas says, raising an eyebrow. “I’m not giving you coffee until I know I can trust you not to stab me with your poisonous spines that cover your entire body and can be fired at people.”

Roman pouts more, dropping under the water and letting out a gratingly harmonious string of mer that Thomas is pretty sure translates to Roman bitching about the coffee situation to his dad. Based on the pattern of Patton’s response, he’s pretty sure Patton is laughing at Roman.

More sulky chalkboard-violin music, and then Roman resurfaces grumpily. “Dad agrees with you and says no consuming strange human foods.”

“Did he laugh at you?”

Roman squints suspiciously at him. “You can’t speak our language.”

“Yeah, but I know what it sounds like when a dad laughs at his kid.” Roman, continuing to pout, sinks back into the tank, presumably to sulk some more. Thomas takes another very long sip of coffee that is definitely too hot for his mouth and turns back to his desk.

Virgil should definitely be awake and in the lab at this point. The samples he’s supposed to be analyzing are sitting in their little tubes, each neatly labelled with locations and dates and times and what, specifically, Virgil is supposed to be looking for. Thomas considers going upstairs and waking up Virgil, who’s almost never been late for work in this way, but he decides against it. Virgil is upstairs with Logan, and Thomas knows that there’s something building between them. He’s not sure how advisable that something is, but he trusts Virgil to make his own decisions.

Besides, he could probably use some practice. His water sample analysis skills are pretty rusty, he’s had Virgil doing them for years. “Virgil, you owe me big time for what I’m doing for you.” He carefully shifts the samples over to his own desk, slides his earbuds in, picks up a pipette, and gets to work analyzing the bacterial and algal concentrations for any abnormalities.

Thomas accomplishes about forty-five minutes’ worth of work before Roman interrupts him by flicking water at him and soaking the back of his neck. “Hey!”

“I tried your name, but your little ear bug things were keeping you from hearing me,” Roman says smugly. Thomas, not for the first time, considers retreating to the closet and throwing beakers until he feels better.

“Can I help you?”

“Dad wants to go hunting and bring back breakfast, but we can’t leave without you.”

“Are you not going hunting?”

“I’m going to stay here and observe you,” Roman says.

Thomas blinks. “Do I . . . need observing?”

“How do I know you won’t sell us out to your little human friends the second you get a chance? If I’m here, I can stop you. Plus, what if you do something to Logan while we’re not here to protect him? No, no, I’m staying right where I am and you can’t make me leave.” His spines ripple; Thomas steps closer to a whiteboard in case he needs to duck.

“I’m not going to do that, and I don’t want you to stab me.”

“Still! I’m staying here! Also, Dad’s bigger than me, and he’s a better hunter cause he’s faster and he’s been hunting longer.

“Does he need something to help him carry all those fish?” Thomas asks. Roman opens his mouth like he’s going to say something snarky, pauses, and stops.

“I . . . usually we just eat what we catch when we catch it. We make a pile of prey and take turns guarding it while the other two hunt. Then we make a sacrifice to the Seven Mother Goddesses and eat what’s left.”

After some debate, Thomas is able to fashion a sling of sorts from some waterproof tarps and leftover anchor rope to tie around Patton’s body. “You can put the fish in this pouch and carry them back here. Will you be able to navigate your way back to the grotto?”

“He will,” Roman says. “Dad knows more about the ocean than any human possibly could.” Another discordant song from the tank, chastising, and Roman huffs. “Dad wants me to reassure you that he’ll be fine.”

Patton settles into the mobile tank easily, and Thomas gets him down to the grotto leading towards the sea. “When you come back, let out one of your pod calls and Virgil or I will come and collect you and your catch. Take as much time as you need, okay?”

Patton reaches up and gently pats Thomas’s arm with one large, damp hand, and Thomas takes that to mean an agreement. “Alright, off you go.” There’s a whoosh and a rush of water as it flows from the tank into the grotto in a clean arc, carrying Patton with it. Thomas waits for a moment, letting Patton disappear into the open ocean, before returning to the laboratory.

Roman, for the most part, ignores Thomas. He asks the occasional question, which Thomas tries to answer in a way that he’ll understand, and leans over the edge of his touch tank, eyes guarded. Every time Thomas sneaks a glance, when he thinks Roman isn’t looking, his expression is wide-eyed and wondrous, like Logan’s usually are, but the moment he realizes Thomas is watching him his entire face closes up like a clamshell.

Thomas wonders what it’ll take to get Roman to trust him, trust Virgil, trust any human. Granted, he doesn’t know Roman’s history with humans, but he and Patton are both fairly scarred, and Thomas might not know the whole story but he’d bet a not-insignificant amount of his monthly income that the giant starburst scar taking up the majority of Patton’s chest isn’t the result of a clash with a marine creature.

He works quietly, fielding the occasional question, keeping one ear on the grotto tunnel for Patton’s return. He’s not sure how long he expected Patton to be gone, but he hears movement in the grotto tunnel far sooner than he’d expected.

“Thomas, what’s -”

“Shhhh,” Thomas says. He stands up, pushing away from his desk, but before he can say anything else, there’s a flood of movement coming from the tunnel. Bodies pour into the lab, swift and strong and carrying weapons that they immediately train on Thomas and Roman.

“What is this?” Roman snaps, bristling. He sounds betrayed, like he thinks Thomas is behind this. Thomas picks up a heavy glass beaker, fully prepared to shatter it upside someone’s skull if necessary, but something heavy and hard strikes the back of his skull and he feels his knees crumple. Roman cries out, and Thomas struggles to push himself up. A hand fists itself in his hair and yanks him upright, sharply. Thomas exhales sharply through his teeth, but before he can start struggling, something cool and round rests against the back of his neck, shutting him up and shutting his brain down.

Roman is puffed up like a hedgehog, apparently fully prepared to defend Thomas despite his strong and inherent mistrust. Before he can begin to attack, Thomas hears the click-click-click of shoes on the hard stone floor. Whoever’s holding his head yanks him back again, and he is forced to watch as a woman walks into his laboratory.

(It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke - a sick, horrible, twisted joke.)

She has black heels, black tights, a black pencil skirt, a black blazer, and a blood-red blouse. Her hair is scraped back into a tight bun, pulled so taut it must hurt, and is held in place with a pitch black stick. She carries a - clipboard? tablet? Unclear - held against her chest, and there’s a sleek silver weapon in her right hand.

“The one from the video?” she asks.

“Affirmative, ma’am,” says the person holding Thomas’s head. The woman nods, lifting her weapon, and fires at Roman. Thomas tries to scream a warning, earning himself another painful yank from his captor, but the projectile lodges itself in Roman’s shoulder anyway.

It isn’t a bullet, but something that looks like a small syringe. Roman swats it out of his shoulder, swaying a little, but it doesn’t stop him from swiping at the - mercenary, they must be - who tries to grab him with his elbow spines. The woman frowns, lifts the weapon - some kind of tranquilizer gun? - and fires again.

Roman screams, inhuman and animal, and tears the newest dart from his arm, throwing himself out of his tank and clinging to the nearest mercenary. His teeth tear into the man’s shoulder, spines piercing through his camouflage clothing and flooding him with neurotoxin. The man collapses against the concrete, alive but unconscious, and Roman snarls at the next man as though daring him to approach. He sways, weakened but awake, and bares his teeth.

“Of course,” the woman says, tapping something on her tablet. “His naturally produced neurotoxin must be providing him with some level of natural resistance. Unexpected, but not a limitation.”

It takes three more tranquilizer darts before Roman finally slumps down into his tank, unconscious. The mercenaries look hesitant to approach him, but the woman reaches for her tablet and they scramble to action at once.

“No - no, stop, let him go, he’s not an animal for you to cart off to your lab -” Thomas starts. The man holding him knees him sharply in the back and he cries out, coughing.

They wrap Roman in thick leather bands, roughly shoving his spines flat and binding them against his skin so that he can’t attack them again. The woman nods, once, short and sharp, and they drag Roman away, letting his head bang mercilessly on the ground. Thomas catches a glimpse of a logo - emblazoned on the back of the jackets, on the back of the woman’s tablet, on the side of her tranquilizer gun - and commits it to memory. He’s going to need it, if he gets out of here alive.

“- your phone,” the woman says, and oh, when did she get in front of him.

“My what?”

His mouth runs dry as she places the tranquilizer gun under his chin, barrel pressing against his throat, and tips his chin up. “I said, give me your phone.”

Thomas blinks. “My - the desk. It’s on the desk.”

She sets her tablet down, picks up his phone, and shoves it in his face. “Open it.”

“I - wh -”

“Unlock your phone, Dr. Sanders. Must I repeat myself a third time?” She rolls her eyes. “Doctorates are wasted on people like you.”

Thomas numbly punches in his passcode, and she swipes through to his messages app, frowning before turning the screen towards his face to reveal a message thread with Virgil. “Is this your assistant?”

Thomas glares at her, he’s not going to give her what she wants, he’s not going to just give her Virgil but then the - gun, it must be a gun, what else would they be holding against his neck like this - pushes into him harder, and it’s probably bruising, and he can’t get himself killed here because then he definitely won’t be able to take care of Virgil and -

“Yes,” Thomas says, hating himself for giving in so easily. “What do you -”

She turns away from him, nails clicking against his phone screen as she sends a text message - to Virgil, presumably, and that makes his heart sink like a stone - before dropping it on the floor and stepping on it to shatter it. “I have a message for you.”

“A - what?”

“Did they really hit you that hard, or were you this stupid before we came here?” she says coldly, picking up the tablet again and tapping at the screen. Thomas groans as the man yanks him to his feet, shoving him onto his chair and pulling a roll of duct tape out of one of his multiple pants pockets. He tapes Thomas’s wrists and ankles to the chair, keeping his weapon trained on Thomas’s temple at all times, before pressing it roughly against his head and gripping his hair again.

The woman sets the tablet on his lab table, and the screen flickers to life, and then there’s a woman in front of a dark black backdrop, smiling at him like a cat who’s caught a canary. “Thomas Sanders. How long I’ve waited for this day.”

Thomas recognizes her. He knows he recognizes her. She used to be his classmate, before . . .

His head hurts, so badly that he can barely keep his eyes open, and the memory slips away. “You . . . why are you doing this?”

“Why? Because I am a real scientist, unlike you. You refuse to do what is necessary, what must be done for the progression of the species. The sacrifice of some worthless animals is necessary for humanity to reach its zenith. You would really hinder the entire human race for the preservation of lower life forms?”

“Wh - I -”

“You think that ‘preserving the ecosystem’ and ‘keeping animals alive’ makes you a good scientist, but it makes you weak. You are weak, Thomas Sanders, and if the world was left in the hands of people like you, the human race as we know it would die out in a few centuries. Fortunately, there are people like me, who understand what must be done.”

“Caring about other people and things - it doesn’t - it doesn’t make you weak,” Thomas says, chest heaving, and the woman just laughs.

“One of many logical fallacies to which you subscribe, Thomas. They really gave you a doctorate? Of course caring makes you weak. All emotions make you weak. They corrupt your data and make your experiments worthless. You must be ruthless. You must be willing to do whatever it takes to pursue your goals and achieve the height of success. But no.” She rolls her eyes, face hardening, twirling a pen in her fingers. “You insist on ethics and principles and letting emotions cloud your judgement, and that makes you a failure as a scientist. It makes you weak. Your attachments will be your downfall.”

Thomas’s eyes slide shut, head pounding, and the man behind him yanks at his hair so sharply that he knows some has been ripped out. He forces his eyes open in time to see a smile slide across the woman’s face like a knife, teeth gleaming white as sun-bleached bone.

“You won’t - get away with this,” Thomas manages. He grinds his teeth together and curls his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palms to keep himself awake. “If you leave me alive -” Thomas, stop talking, why are you reminding her that she has the option to fucking kill you “- I will not rest until I find you. I’ll - you can’t -”

“You’ll what, Thomas? If you call the police, you’ll expose those creatures you’re so intent on protecting to the world. Are you really willing to take that chance?” Before Thomas can even begin formulating a response, she steamrolls him. “It doesn’t matter. Even if you were, I’m going to take some . . . insurance, shall we say.”

“Why not just kill me?” Thomas spits. Excellent idea, Doc, poke the murderous lady with a stick like a god damn hornet’s nest, the tiny Virgil in his brain hisses. Her smile, somehow, only widens, and that’s . . . that can’t be good, can it? Smiles are supposed to be good! They’re supposed to make you happy, but all Thomas feels is creeping dread and pain, so much pain, and -

Yeah. He’s . . . pretty sure he has a concussion.

“Because if I kill you, you get to take the easy way out. Your suffering will end. But unlike you, I don’t put limits on my science. I know how to cause you the maximum amount of pain.”

Thomas eyes the toxin gun, but the on-screen woman just laughs. “Not yet, Thomas. We need something from you, first.”

“You already took Roman,” Thomas says. “What more can you possibly take from me?”

“You named it? You’re even weaker than I thought.”

“He told me his name, he’s not an it, he’s not a thing for you to play with and - and I -”

There’s a strange sinking feeling in Thomas’s chest as the woman onscreen laughs. “I knew you were emotional, Thomas, but I can’t believe this! It looks like I’ll have more hanging over your head than you thought.”

“You -”

“Say, Tommy-boy, have you heard from your precious little assistant recently?”

Thomas’s entire body flushes ice-cold and then white-hot, immediately struggling against his duct tape bindings despite the man tearing at his hair and shoving the gun into his neck and snapping at him to shut up, shut up, shut the fuck up before I do something we’re both gonna regret -

“Don’t you touch him!” Thomas snaps. “If you hurt him, I swear to God -”

“You’re not in a position to be making demands, and if you don’t calm down, I’ll paint your boring little lab bright red.” Thomas freezes, holding his entire body tensed like electricity is running through his blood.

There are footsteps on the stairs. “Doc? I got your text, what’s -”

“Virgil, run!” Thomas chokes. Virgil comes around the corner, holding his phone, staring at the screen in confusion. He looks up, eyes widening in horror as he takes in the scene.

“You know what to do,” the woman onscreen says. The other woman lifts her tranquilizer gun, and Thomas is sure that he’s screaming, his mouth is open and sound is coming out but his blood is rushing through his ears and his heart is pounding like waves against a boat in rough sea and he can’t - he can’t -

Virgil turns to run, but the tranquilizer dart hits in him the back of the neck and he collapses like a sack of bricks. The woman lowers her gun and jerks her head at the two remaining conscious, unoccupied mercenaries, who step forward and grab Virgil.

“Let him go!” Thomas screams, and his throat feels raw and his chest feels raw and his wrists are rubbed raw and his soul feels hollow and raw, like he’s been scraped out with a jagged piece of metal and only an empty shell remains. Virgil’s head lolls against his chest as they drag him down the grotto tunnel, and Thomas struggles and screams and stares after them until Virgil is out of sight.

His face is damp, and his eyes are burning, and he isn’t sure if it’s blood from his head wound or tears or some strange, morbid mixture of both.

“The greatest torture of which I can conceive,” the woman onscreen says, and it takes him a moment to realize that oh, she’s talking to me, “is to leave you alive, knowing that your precious little protégé is with me, and that there is nothing you can do about it.” She leans forward, and any trace of a smile is gone. “If you try to come after me, I will kill him. If you call the authorities, I will kill him. I already found you, Thomas. Don’t think I’m not watching. If I catch so much as a whiff of you planning something, his blood will be on your hands. Do you understand me?”

Thomas, numb and shocked, can’t even respond. “Knock him out and bring the specimens back to me,” the woman onscreen says.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He doesn’t even feel the tranquilizer dart hit his neck, but he welcomes the sweeping darkness.

(Summary: Evil Scientist Lady has been spying on Thomas and she finds the entrance to the grotto where our mer friends have been hiding. She sends her assistant and several armed thugs to invade the lab, they drug Roman with tranquilizers and kidnap him. Thomas gets knocked around a lot and is mocked for being an ethical scientist and caring about people by Evil Scientist Lady and she gloats at him through Evil Facetime before kidnapping Virgil in the same way they did Roman, knocking Thomas unconscious, and leaving him tied to his lab chair. During this whole scene, Patton is out in the open ocean hunting and Logan is safely hidden in Virgil's room.)

[cthulhuliet]

lips like licorice, tongue like candy

4.5k words | AO3 Link | warnings: explicit content, mild dubious consent (it is pretty brief)

"Ok- look, Ryuzaki, can you stop that?"

L frowns, "Stop?"

"Yeah, your finger on your lips while you talk, why are you doing that? It is distracting."

A flash of emotion passed through L's eyes, the black orbs widening ever so slightly. A wicked smirk spread across L's face that gave Light the temptation to slap him, but he was more so focused on the jolt of arousal that crept up his spine. L pushed his index finger against his lips and leaned forward with interest, "Light-kun finds me distracting?"

OR

The one where L has an oral fixation, and it causes a lot of problems for Light.

Note: I am glad I have returned with more smut after being dormant for a little bit, please enjoy and let me know if you liked shorter one-shots like this.

-

Light drummed his pen on the side of the leather couch, eyes focusing and unfocusing on the tired looking man in front of him, completely consumed by the contents of his laptop. Light himself was also supposed to be working, but he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from L.

L: the brilliant detective, the letter and enigma, the critical minded genius. L certainly was all those things, though, right now all Light can think of him as is L: the annoying distraction.

It is difficult for anyone to not focus on L, in all honesty. His eccentric and wild appearance coupled with his odd demeanor made it difficult to look away. It was not even the first time L had distracted Light. He remembers every day of the entrance exams, feeling the prickling on the back of his neck like he was being watched by the weird, older student. Thankful, his interference didn’t distract him from getting perfect scores in all his subjects. And of course Light, as Kira, has many other reasons to focus on L.

“Interesting…” L muttered to himself and pushed the end of his pen against his bottom lip. Light looked away.

L seemed to be taking up a lot of his thoughts as of recently. It only makes sense-- they were in a constant, neverending staring contest, and Light was not going to be the one to blink first. Light did not need to further interrogate the perspiration under his arms whenever he is around him, or the heat blooming in his chest whenever he does that arrogant half-smirk. All in due time, Light will be rid of anyone who stands in his way. And if that means getting in his head, performing a few social niceties, and acting nice when spending time together, it is all worth it in the end. All warfare is based on deception, after all.

Light wasn’t worried. The victorious put themselves beyond the possibility of defeat. Right now, Light was simply annoyed.

The Task Force and his father had gone home for the evening. Light told him he wanted to stay up late studying so he didn’t fall behind on exams, and L offered to have him study at HQ for the evening. He asked this with a cake spoon hanging out of his mouth, spit dribbling down his chin, his doll eyes blank and wide.

Light bristled, “How could I say no?”

So here he was, pretending to study for an Ethics exam while his greatest enemy was sitting 5 feet away from him.

“L… Ryuzaki… What is your name?” Light wondered to himself idly. He twirled his pen between his fingers as he watched L swipe the frosting off of his plate and suck the icing off of his fingertips. Instinctively, Light licked his lips, they suddenly felt very dry. He fished around in his school bag and found the pack of apple cinnamon chapstick he carries with him.

“What are you doing?” L asked, pointer finger still hooked in his mouth.

Light read the label of the lip balm, avoiding L’s face, “Chapstick, lips felt dry.”

“It is the middle of Spring, I didn’t think people’s lips would get chapped this late in the year.”

Light idly threw the tube back in his bag, “Not chapped, dry. You keep it pretty cold in this hotel room, Ryuzaki.” L’s hand came to rest on his knee and Light was able to look at him again. He looks the same as he always does. “What, is my Kira percentage going to rise because I am abnormally using lip balm?”

L said nothing, but unabashedly stared at the shininess of Light’s lips. He brought his thumb and point finger up to his mouth, pressing it against them so the skin would move slightly with it. Light still had not quite gotten used to L’s staring, among other things.

“Can I try some?” L asked, his fingers still in his mouth.

“What?”

“Can I try some?” He repeated. Before Light could answer, L interjected with, “By refusing your Kira percentage will rise this time.”

Light was taken completely aback for a second, his hand spasming before he steeled himself, and relaxing his expression. There is no way L would be able to profile Light based upon something as trivial as sharing chapstick. Then again, there is no way to be sure of that… Is it possible he has some other goal in mind? But what on Earth is his angle here? Does refusing show a lack of empathy? Will offering lean into a transparent attempt of closeness because L thinks Kira would refuse something like that?

“Light, I am only joking.” L smirked, chuckling to himself slightly. “There is no need to be so serious.”

Doing his best to not leap over the couch and strangle the detective with his bare hands, Light busied himself looking through his bag, “I don’t think you understand that most people do not appreciate jokes about them being horrific mass murderers.”

Finger at the corner of his mouth, L expression relaxed, “Does Light-kun consider himself to be most people?”

Not entertaining that with a response, Light pulled out a fresh tube of chapstick and tossed it in L’s lap, “Here, go ahead and try it.”

L let the tube dangle from his pointer finger and thumb, reading the label before uncapping it and putting it on, “Thank you.” He responded simply. Light nodded, fighting the urge to stare at chapstick moving around his mouth and instead focused on the block of text in his notes, “Actually, while I have your attention, would you mind if I discussed something case-related with you.”

Light wasn’t sure if L was playing dumb or he actually could not feel Light’s idle gaze on him for the past 2 hours. Most likely the latter; the man seemed to be the type to ignore his surroundings when hyper focused on work. Still, Light moved his notebook out of his lap and onto the arm of the couch, leaning forward slightly. “Sure, what are you thinking?”

Moving out of his seat and back into his usual crouch onto the right side of the couch, he handed a manila folder to Light, who began idly looking over the contents. It was a record of criminals who had died in the past week or so, but by looking at the names, didn’t recognize any of the criminals. He wasn’t sure if these were simply not his doing or if the pile of bodies had just become that big.

“These are 5 criminals who have recently died of heart attacks in the past week. Their full criminal record is in front of you as well as various notes about how their crimes were reported in the media. Please, look these over and tell me your thoughts.”

Most of the notes were in English, the detective's native language, which gave him a bit of a headache, but Light was able to translate it pretty quickly. 3 of the victims had been convicted of sexual assault, one incident of grooming a minor, and a more horrific incident of stalking and killing a barista.

The world truly was disgusting.

But all of these must have been done by the second Kira. Light recognizes none of these names, and they were reported on channels and in tabloids he himself does not use. Even if they were, at least 3 of these crimes were minor enough for him to overlook.

He glanced up at L, eyes staring wide at Light, lips shiny.

It was going to be a difficult line to balance knowing why these kills obviously are not Kira, but also explaining how he came to that conclusion so quickly. But that doesn’t seem to be what L is looking for… What does he get out of this?

“Light?” L looked at him questioningly, brow furrowed and sucking on his lower lip with his teeth. The back of his neck prickled slightly.

“Sorry, got lost in my own head there.”

L tilted his head to the side, “Quite alright. Did you notice anything while looking those over?”

Light tapped the files with his pen, “I think so. It seems that all of these criminals were shown on the 12am news on channel 16, which according to our data, Kira has never killed those only shown on that program.” L nodded, but didn’t say anything. Light continued, “Also, it seems as though these 3 criminals were convicted of minor sexual assault crimes, which is different than Kira’s MO who mainly puts his focus on serious violent crime. I think that these deaths, at least for sure these 3, were done by the second Kira.”

“Yes… I suspected that much was obvious to you.” L muttered, frowning.

Light glared at L, “What?”

“We can separate the criminals that Kira killed from the ones that the second Kira did all day long, but that does not get us any closer to figuring out who they are.”

Oh. Now he knows what L wants. “Well, just by looking at these 5 cases and watching the video does not give me a lot of information, but it seems that the second Kira has a less ambitious motivation.” L leaned forward, thumb against lips. Light looked down at the criminals again, “Coupled with that, it seems like this Kira also has a specific MO, all of these criminals had been convicted of crimes specifically against women… Channel 16 during daytime airs music videos and dramas… It is possible that the second Kira is a woman.”

Light looked up and L’s previous scowl turned into a smirk, “Very good, Light,”

“W-what? Is this another one of your deductive reasoning tests?”

“No, actually,” L tongue flickered to the corner of his mouth before he spoke. Light could just barely make out his words with all the white noise, “I dislike profiling based upon stereotypes, so I wanted to verify my suspicion with you,” L switched out his thumb for his pointer finger, biting on the nail and letting it hang from his mouth.

Light began bouncing his leg. L was still talking, but Light was too engrossed in the way L’s lips were moving around his finger, and still slightly glossy from the chapstick, and oh God he’s pulling on his bottom lip now...

“- both verified that I feel much better about my theory.” L finished, even though Light stopped thinking about the Kira case at that moment long ago.

"Right," Light licked his lips and stared at the finger pressed to L’s pretty, pink lips. With the late hour and toll of simply being around L, Light had officially lost his patience, "Ok- look, Ryuzaki, can you stop that?"

L frowns, "Stop?"

"Yeah, your finger on your lips while you talk, why are you doing that?"

L raised an eyebrow, his hand dropping from his mouth, "I apologize if you were not able to understand, I can re-"

"No, I can understand you just fine, it is just distracting."

A flash of emotion passed through L's eyes, the black orbs widening ever so slightly. A wicked smirk spread across L's face that gave Light the temptation to slap him, but he was more so focused on the jolt of arousal that crept up his spine. L pushed his index finger against his lips and leaned forward with interest, "Light-kun finds me distracting?"

Light choked on the scathing “Not like that, pervert” and stuttered over his words, “I- Yeah, a bit. It’s hard to not, it’s something that is difficult to not pay attention to.”

L hummed, pushing his knee down onto the couch and resting his hands next to Light’s thigh, invading Light’s personal space completely, “Yagami-san and the other detectives never seemed to bring it up.”

“You are their boss, it would be impolite too.”

“Am I not your boss?”

“And here I thought we were friends-” Light smirked, “- Ryuzaki.”

This seemed to please L, as his cocky smicker was almost a smile, and his eyes alight with amusement, “We are friends?”

“Do you not want to be?”

“Is that what you want me to be to you-” L smirked, “- Light?” And his thumb was on his lips again.

Damn it, L…

Light swallowed, fiddling with the pen between his fingers, “You still never answered the question: why do you do that? Some kind of oral fixation?”

L simply shrugged, “We all have our quirks. I just happened to have more than others.”

Light felt physically pained in preventing his eye roll. Ignoring the detective’s wild appearance, the fact that he must sit with his knees to his chest, and only eat sweets, and constantly has to have something hanging out of his mouth-- it’s safe to say he adopted more than just a couple quirks.

Shrugging, Light chuckled airily, “Well, I suppose that is true for you. Not all of us have assumed weird habits like that.”

L raised an eyebrow, “Please do not try to tell me you are playing the innocent act again.”

“What?”

“Light, I do not know how you have not noticed, but you fidget and spin writing utensils obsessively.”

“I do not.”

“You are doing so as we speak.” Light stopped the pen from his usual thumb around, frowning. L eyes flashed and he bit down on his thumb, “Your tricks honestly are quite impressive.” He muttered, and Light had to make a conscious effort to not fiddle with the pen again.

L looked down at Light’s hands, now tapping against his leg. L moved his hand from where it was propped up his chin and lightly ghosted over Light’s wrist. “May I?” He asked, voice quiet and trepidatious, like how you would approach a skittish wild animal. Light nodded, doing his best to keep his head focused and wired. Why was he allowing this to happen? Why was he okay with being touched like this by L? Why did he so badly want more?

L grabbed Light’s left hand with both of his, fingertips ghosting over the palms and he rubbed against Light’s knuckles in a way that made him shiver. Thankfully L cared to not mention it. “Your hands are lovely, are you told that often?”

“Do people often compliment my hands? No.” Light scoffed, not for the first time wondering what L views as normal human reactions.

L said nothing about the sarcasm behind Light’s comment, “I am surprised, you have nice hands… Nice fingers... “ Light’s pulse sped up as L’s fingertips brushed over Light’s nails, “Long, strong, and slender. Am I right in assuming you played the piano?”

Light nodded, taking a moment to level his voice, “Yeah, my mother wanted me to, I took lessons for a while.”

L’s thumb rubbed against his palm in smooth, circular motions, Light completely entranced in the action. L did not spare any other part of Light a second glance, and Light was completely focused on L’s fingers on his hands and his lips slightly parted.

“You know, hands and lips are some of the most sensitive parts of the human body,”

Light blinked, “R-really?”

L nodded, “Yeah,” L brought Light’s wrist up to his mouth, and pressed his lips against it, “Though I assumed you already knew that.” Light hooked his ankles together and bit down on his lip, praying that L would not notice all the other physical reactions his mouth was causing. “That is why I like things near my mouth, and why oral fixations are so common,” His moved up Light’s hand, lightly kissing and sucking on any bit of skin that he could, L no doubt noticing Light’s shallow breaths and trembling fingers, “Just something against that sensitive bit of skin helps me focus. Sometimes it is a fork, sometimes it is my own hands…” He pressed Light’s fingertips against his mouth, his hands feeling the wetness of L’s mouth and tongue pressed so close to his lips, “And sometimes…”

"Don't." Light gasped out, pulling his fingers away from L's mouth. He meant to sound commanding, but even with the innocuous actions that L's lips had been doing made his head go foggier than it was a few moments ago.

L paused for a moment before he hummed, tilting his head. His eyes drank in Light's flushed face and he dragged his teeth across his bottom lip, "Saying "don't" with that expression will not make me want to stop." He inched closer, his breath hot against Light's neck, "In fact..." He nibbled on the lobe of Light's ear and sucked on it gently. Light swallowed hard to suppress a shameful whine, his nails now digging into his slacks, "It makes you look rather inviting..."

L's voice made him lurch bright red, the smooth baritone right against him was making the room feel unbelievably warm, despite the goosebumps running up and down his body, "Tell me I am wrong." He challenged, whispering the threat right against Light's neck. He gingerly took Light's hand again and pressed open mouth kisses against his wrist, trailing up to his fingers once again, "Tell me stop, Light-kun."

Light said nothing, and L nibbled the skin against Light's index and middle finger, before taking them further down to his first knuckle. His teeth grazed against the top of his skin and latched onto the indents in it, sucking softly. Light's throat went dry-- the action should not affect him as much as it does. And yet seeing L like this, erotic and teasing was making him very distracted.

"I- I don't know..."

"Hmph." L pulled Light's fingers from his mouth, and pressed them against his lips in the way he typically does with his own, "It's your body." L murmured, "Shouldn't you know what it wants?"

But that is the problem, Light knows exactly what his body wants. Every nerve is alight in his system, sparking and flaring with blistering heat, all yelling for L to please, touch me more. His logic was becoming fuzzy, having to live with the knowledge and settle into the deep end of the pool he dove into, knowing he was fraternizing with the enemy. What was making him feel this way? Were the lines between rival and obsession so blurred that he was now infatuated? When does the pain stop and the pleasure begin? Light couldn’t tell you, but L’s hands were caressing the inside of his thigh, and his tongue and teeth and lips were working at the right side of his neck, biting him just hard enough, and Light couldn’t take it anymore. He grabbed L harshly by his messy waves, the other man moaning at the action and he desperately pulled their lips together.

L groaned into the kiss, Light’s hand still gripping his hair harshly. He wasted no time climbing into Light lap, straddling him and moving his hips in tiny circles on top of him. Light broke the kiss, sighing, partially from the friction on his cock and partially in the mental pleasure he got knowing that L was hard too.

“Tell me what you want, Light.” L moaned in his ear, dropping the honorific. He pressed their lips together and immediately bit Light’s bottom lip, Light unable to suppress the whine this time, “Tell me you want me, Light, I need to hear you say it.”

Light never thought he would stoop so low as to begging, but his head was already fucked out and lust-filled, never experiencing this kind of attention before today. He has a taste of blood and he wants more. It is not as though he was going to say anything untruthful, he may just have to remove his filter for a little while. So be it he has to do some pleading and mewling, L was offering himself to Light, in whatever way he wanted.

“Ryuzaki… Please, touch me, give me more. I need your mouth on me.”

L smirked as he moved out of Light’s lap and began to undo his jeans, and although L couldn’t see it, Light smirked too.

Only a fool would call this type of power submission.

Light lifted his hips up and L pulled down his boxers and jeans, leaving only Light’s cock in front of L. L paused for a moment, and it didn’t even cross his mind to ask if L himself had even done anything like this before. Light opened his mouth to prompt him, but just as he was about to ask, L flattened his tongue on the underside of his dick, dragging it upwards, before encasing the head with his lips, sucking and swirling over the tip.

Mouth open in a silent moan, Light was gasping and writhing, overcome with tight heat of L’s mouth. Light has never really wanted anything like this before. It fans over him in hot waves; pressure and pleasure and want and fire and burning and okay-

“L… L- wait!” Light said suddenly, and L pulled off, quirking up an eyebrow.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” The question was a bit tongue-in-cheek, one look at Light and you could see him overcome and over-wrought with lust.

“Do you- can you slow down a bit, I…” He didn’t want to finish that sentence, but L nodded.

“I see, you want to keep going… Have you never done anything like this before?” Light shook his head, throwing it back on the couch. He closed his eyes, but abruptly opened them as he felt L’s hand back on his cock, stroking him slowly, ���Have you ever even masturbated before?”

Light scoffed at the accusation, “Of course, what kind of question is that?”

L hummed, licking his lips, “It is just you are so incredibly sensitive, everywhere…” L ran a fingernail down Light’s tight as if to make a point, and to prove it, Light whined at the action.

“How are you so good at this?” Light muttered, mainly to himself, but L’s keen ears picked up on it.

“You think this is my first time giving head?” L peppered kisses on the tip of Light’s cock, Light dug his fingernails into the palm of his hands, but also flared up at the news.

“Who else have you done this with?”

L pulled off of Light, an amused expression on his face, “Hmm… Didn’t take you to be the jealous type, Light.”

“I am not jealous,” Light wanted his voice to be commanding, but L was still rubbing the head of his cock with the pad of his thumb-- the tiny, barely there bits of pleasure were just as overwhelming. “I was just curious.”

L shook his head, unfazed, “Let’s just say he was an old roommate of mine,” He gave a short chuckle to a joke only he seemed to understand, “You’re not the first to be fascinated by my oral fixation, and I do love a nice cock in my mouth.”

Before Light could respond, L dropped down to his base, and Light let out a choked out moan, but was still coherent enough to berate him, “S-so you did know what you were doing?” L looked up at him, doll eyes all wide and innocent, a stark contrast to his not-so-innocent pink lips wrapped around Light’s cock. Just the sight made him dizzy, “Bastard...” He managed before slipping underneath the pleasure once again.

L sucked on Light’s head, using his other hand to stroke Light’s length. The dual sensations were overwhelming, but the best sight was watching L on his dick, eyes glossy but focused like he does when fixating on case or a sweet, but now all he wants to do it give Light pleasure and make Light feel good and have his lips around Light’s cock-- around Kira’s cock. He had to bite his lips at the laughter bubbling up inside of him.

He gripped L’s hair and thrust him further into L’s mouth. L moaned at the action, but he still looked up at Light, annoyed. He tried his best to put on his face of schoolboy innocence, but L didn’t buy it-- he never had.

“People usually ask permission before fucking their throat.” L pressed his thumb against his lips, “I wonder what it says about you that you didn’t…” Light rolled his eyes, and subconsciously moved his hands towards his achingly hard cock, but L slapped his hand away, “If you keep misbehaving, I won’t let you come on my face.” Light’s body shuddered at that. Painting the face of the greatest detective in the world with his come made his throat dry, and even the thought of it makes him want to groan. L’s face lit up at Light’s reaction, “Ah, so that is something you would like. Understood.” He idly stroked Light’s cock with a lazy smile on his face, “Be a good boy and let me know when you are about to come.”

Light moaned at the words and L’s mouth back on his cock. His motions were faster this time, taking him all the way down to his base and back again, never once slowing down or gagging as his cock hit the back of his throat.

No gag reflex…

Light brushed L’s hair out of the way of his eyes, and then ran a hand through his own hair, pulling on his slightly, needing something, anything to do with his hands.

Breathing started to be strenuous, and Light bit down on his lip to prevent from being too loud. It only just occurred to him that they may not be the only people in this hotel suite, but he was so far gone he could not bring himself to care. L does something with his tongue that had Light gasping and no longer suppressing those needy whines. L hums against his cock, amused, and looks up at him, eyes smiling, and god there is the edge. He’s so fucking close, and white-hot burning and overwhelming everywhere.

“L-” Light choked out, tapping his head.

L pulled off of him, just in time as well, as a few simple strokes to Light’s cock and a small whisper of “good boy” had Light careening over the edge, moaning loudly, eyes welled up with pleasure as L met his flustered and unfocused gaze, his own eyes glossed over with lust. Light forced his eyes to stay open as come shot onto L’s face, over his nose and cheeks and over his lips.

“I don’t want anyone else but you to see me like this.” Light shuddered at the sight of L, his pretty pale skin tainted and painted with his release, “Thank you.”

Light’s head was dizzy with pleasure, he slumped back onto the couch. L opened his eyes, a small winning smirk on his face.

Light thought he was going to make a show about the stickiness all over him, maybe cringing after the fact. Instead, he made eye contact with Light as he dragged his fingers across his cheek and sucked on his fingers, moaning as he was doing so.

Damn it, L…

He then casually reached over to grab the abandoned homework that was still on the couch, L’s face still dirty. He looked over it and smirked, “Ethics, huh?” His eyes shined with knowing amusement, “Quite the subject for you to choose, isn’t it, Light-kun?”

[commentaryvorg]

Digimon Data Squad Dub Comparison Episode 3 - The Return of Thomas!

This is a companion to my commentary on the original Japanese Digimon Savers! Reading my commentary on the original version of this episode (which you can find here) is recommended before reading this dub comparison.

Original name ~ Dubbed name

Masaru Daimon ~ Marcus Damon

Yoshino Fujieda ~ Yoshino “Yoshi” Fujieda

Tohma H. Norstein ~ Thomas H. Norstein

Sayuri Daimon ~ Sarah Damon

Chika Daimon ~ Kristy Damon

Captain Rentarou Satsuma ~ Commander Richard Sampson

PetitMeramon ~ DemiMeramon

[Since several characters share the same name between the original and the dub, quotes from the dub will always be in italics, while quotes from the original will not, in order to distinguish them.]

In the original, Masaru’s VA is always the one reading out the title card, but the dub mixes it up with different characters depending on the episode. This time, we get Miki and Megumi reading it, complete with fangirl squealing over Thomas. Uh, thanks, dub.

Sarah:  “I think Agumon has been a really good influence!”

Marcus & Agumon: “More, please!”

Sarah: “See, he even says ‘please’ now.”

Agumon giving Marcus a reason to wake up early on a non-school day, that makes sense, but Agumon giving him a reason to be more polite? I dunno.

As you can see, there is no dub equivalent of “Agu-chan”. This is understandable and not the dubbers’ fault since English lends itself a lot less to casual terms of endearment like that, but it is a shame.

Marcus: “You served him first?! What did you do, adopt him while I wasn’t looking?”

Marcus says this like it’s not exactly what she’s literally done, and also like it’s not what he’d want. Don’t you want Agumon to be your new little brother, Marcus?

Sarah: “Keep it up, tough guy, and I’ll give your portion to him, too.”

Her affectionate ribbing calling him “tough guy” is cute.

Sarah: “After all, Agumon is a growing boy.”

A neat little nod to the time Agumon said that about himself in episode 1 (even if it didn’t make sense for him to have known that human phrase, but).

Agumon:  “I won’t hand over the last of Sayuri’s fried eggs, not even to you!”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Boss, the only way to get this last fried egg is to take it out of my belly.”

Alas, since dub-Agumon is only referring to this particular last fried egg, we lose the future relevance the original line will have. The dub is not watching ahead to be able to pick up on these things.

Chika:  “What a child…”

~~~~~

Kristy: “What a doof.”

Similar snark – he definitely is a doof – but there’s something I like about Chika calling her older brother a “child” that isn’t quite there when all she’s calling him is a doof.

Most of Thomas’s shower scene is cut. I will grant the dub that one improvement it consistently makes is doing its best to remove all the unnecessary fanservice bits.

[as Agumon tumbles from the bike basket]

Kristy:  “…Doof Two.”

Agumon: [sighing] “I guess…”

What do you mean, Agumon admits and agrees that he is a doof (and implicitly agrees that his boss is one as well). Original-Agumon would not have nearly enough self-awareness to acknowledge that.

Marcus: “Why can’t you travel in the Digivice like all the other Digimon?”

Agumon: “Those other Digimon just show up when they’re called, but you’re lucky. You have me all the time, Boss!”

Unlike in the original, Marcus does actually bring up how Agumon ought to be in the Digivice. But Agumon doesn’t protest with “but I don’t like it in there”, despite him having made even more of a point of not liking cramped spaces in the previous dub episode than he did in the original. If the dub was going to have them discuss this onscreen, it would have been better to take the claustrophobia angle and show Marcus respecting Agumon’s wishes than to make it seem like Agumon’s just being contrary for the heck of it.

Marcus: “This one? No? Oh, just press everything!”

I enjoy the dub being even more obvious about how Marcus figures out which button on his earpiece is the right one to press.

Street punk #2: “Nothing’s going on at all…”

PetitMeramon: “Nothing at all!”

~~~~~

Street punk #2: “Nothing ever goes on around here any more…”

DemiMeramon:  “I agree!”

This is significantly different – here, the DemiMeramon isn’t just parroting the dude’s words, it’s definitely expressing its own opinion about things. The implication here is therefore that it starts setting things on fire because of its own boredom, and these dudes here who happen to also be bored have nothing to do with it. That is categorically not how this is supposed to work.

Masaru:  “Let’s fight!”

PetitMeramon: “Fight…”

~~~~~

Marcus: “There it is! Fightin’ time again!”

DemiMeramon:  “Oh yeah?!”

Again, it’s not parroting his words; it’s responding on its own terms like it’s lucid and thinking for itself. Not how this should work.

Masaru:  “You’re not solid enough, damn it! If I could just hit you once, I could get Agumon to evolve!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “It’s not solid enough to land a blow! But I’ve gotta punch it to start the DNA Charge! Otherwise, Agumon can’t Digivolve!”

The original version of this line sounds reasonably naturally like Masaru is just expressing his frustration at the PetitMeramon. But in the dub, it reads a lot more like awkwardly stilted exposition just to make sure the audience understands why this is a problem.

Marcus:  “Stop setting things on fire! I just got these shoes!”

This is one of those dub additions for comedy, but I’m not sure I like the resulting impression that Marcus is somebody who cares that much about what he wears, because Masaru definitely never seems to be that kind of person.

Agumon: “Now be a nice fireball and let us punch you!”

Pfft. This episode in a nutshell. More of that dub-Agumon trait of saying things that would be snarky if it didn’t sound like he obliviously means them completely seriously.

Gaomon:  “Yes, Master!”

~~~~~

Gaomon: “Sir, yes sir!”

“Yes, Master!” (spoken in English) is Gaomon’s catchphrase in the Japanese, and… I have no idea why the dub couldn’t just keep it exactly as-is. “Master” is a perfectly reasonable thing for him to call Tohma (especially since he’s a dog!), and it even comes already translated.

Instead, he calls Thomas “sir”, which on its own is… fine, I guess. But in particular, the “sir, yes sir!” catchphrase just makes dub-Gaomon come across as some kind of army grunt, rather than as the very good and loyal dog that he is.

Masaru:  “Damn it… That thing pissed me off…”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Urghh… I am exhausted. Whew!”

Masaru here is complaining that he didn’t win, but Marcus is basically just neutrally expressing being exhausted without any sense that he’s specifically frustrated at the DemiMeramon for getting away from him. Since the entire ensuing several scenes are supposed to be a lot about Masaru’s frustration that he’s not good enough, the dub is not starting this off on the right note.

Yoshino:  “Well, I didn’t think it would go easily for you from the start.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Don’t worry, Marcus, you didn’t let us down! No-one here at DATS actually thought you could do it anyway!”

Yikes, that’s some way more backhanded reassurance than she gave originally. And also, why does she even feels she needs to “reassure” him? Marcus was not expressing any sort of notion that he felt like he’d failed in the first place.

Agumon:  “Hi there, pal.”

[Gaomon ignores Agumon and walks past him]

Agumon: “Hmph! No birthday present for that guy!”

How does Agumon even know about birthdays, and birthday presents, and the concept of giving birthday presents to people you’re on friendly terms with? These are not things he should reasonably have learned about yet when he’s only been with humans for like a week.

Masaru:  “You bastard! You took away my prey!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Hey, you! When we talk, you listen!”

It makes perfectly reasonable Masaru-ish sense for him to be mad about Tohma winning what was supposed to be his fight. But Marcus? Isn’t even thinking about the fight, apparently, and is instead just being a jerk.

So far, all Thomas and Gaomon have ignored is Agumon’s greeting and a brief “who are you, blondie?” from Marcus (the “blondie” part is dub-only, unsurprisingly), which is a little rude but not really warranting this response already. Heck, “when we talk, you listen” implies Thomas has been ignoring something substantial that Marcus has been trying to say to him, rather than just a question and a greeting.

There’s a record scratch in the BGM as Thomas ignores Marcus’s attempt to challenge him to a fight and just walks past him. I liked the comedic record scratch they had in episode 1, but this one feels a little cheesy and unnecessary.

Megumi:  “His stern-looking profile is so wonderful!”

Miki:  “It really is!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “He’s so on top of things!”

Miki:  “He so is!”

I appreciate the dub changing the topic of Megumi and Miki’s fawning into admiring Thomas’s work ethic, rather than the original admiring of his appearance. (He is fourteen, you are adults, please stop.)

Tohma:  “…it seems rather peculiar that there are a large number of Digimon detected in this country lately.”

…

Satsuma:  “Is the frequency not as high in EU?”

Tohma:  “No. It must be because it has a larger area.”

~~~~~

Thomas:  “It seems there have been an unusually large number of Digimon appearances lately.”

…

Sampson: “Hmm. So do you think these numbers could eventually overwhelm the Data Squad?”

Thomas: “No. But of course, that all depends on having the right team in place.”

Seems the dub is ditching the fact that it’s specifically this country that’s been getting so many more Digimon appearances. Instead, Thomas just takes the opportunity to be a passive-aggressive jerk about Marcus sooner than in the original.

Satsuma:  “Oh, let me introduce you. This is…”

[Tohma barely even glances at Masaru; Masaru gets angry]

Masaru:  “Hey! I don’t care if you’re called Tohma or Tonma… but around here, I’m your senpai! I’ve only been here for three days, but make sure to call me ‘Daimon-san’ or ‘Daimon-senpai’!”

~~~~~

Sampson: “Oh. Go ahead and introduce yourself, Marcus.”

[Thomas barely even glances at Marcus. Marcus gets angry]

Marcus: “Say what?! Why doesn’t *he* introduce himself to *me*?! I’m the one with seniority, even if it’s only three days.”

This reads a lot less like Marcus getting angry has anything to do with the way Thomas just barely even looked at him, and more that he’s mad at Sampson for thinking he ought to introduce himself first. In that vein, it’s somewhat more reasonable for him to go ranting about seniority, I suppose. However, I liked the way that Masaru suddenly ranting about that with no real provocation was unreasonable and was very transparently him trying to assert some kind of superiority, not really about the appropriate-honorific-respect that he tried to insist was the point.

Marcus: “Who does he think he is, anyway? Look, kid! Agumon and I are the top fighters around here, and don’t you forget it!”

Meanwhile in the dub, the lines specifically asking for honorifics have no English equivalent, so we get this to fill the gap. I guess it has a reasonably similar effect and is a similarly uncalled-for assertion of superiority.

(I do like the “kid”, trying to make Thomas seem beneath him despite their equal age.)

Satsuma:  “Already blazing down the warpath, eh?”

~~~~~

Sampson: “You are completely out of line.”

Satsuma was being reasonably tolerant of Masaru’s argumentative nature, accepting that this is just how Masaru is and he’ll hopefully be able to rein it in if he just understands the situation better. But Sampson is simply having none of it.

Sampson: “Marcus, Thomas is *your* superior. Deal.”

I guess it’s a lip-flap issue, but Sampson just telling Marcus to “deal” sounds weirdly colloquial for him. Also, “superior” is not quite the same thing as having seniority in terms of just having more experience. This implies that Thomas is going to have the right to give Marcus orders and Marcus will be obligated to follow them, which is not quite it.

Marcus: “You mean I have to take orders from him?”

…Okay, apparently that literally is what the dub wants us to think, even though this is not how things are actually going to work here.

(This is in place of the line establishing that Masaru and Tohma are the same age, but that will be a fact that gets mentioned in a later dub episode.)

Satsuma:  “Be sure to get along with each other, as you are colleagues.”

~~~~~

Sampson: “Unlike some teams, *they* have got discipline.”

Satsuma was trying to mediate between the two, but instead Sampson is very clearly taking Thomas’s side, which he really ought to know is only going to rile Marcus up more.

(If Marcus and Agumon’s lack of discipline is really such a big dealbreaker for you, Sampson, why did you even want to recruit him in the first place?)

Tohma:  “I think it will be futile to do so, Captain Satsuma. There is not a chance that this person could benefit DATS.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Commander, please allow me to say a few words about the new recruit. Based on my first impression, I feel he could never benefit DATS in any way.”

Thomas is being a lot less out of line here, asking politely to speak his opinion and qualifying it as being only based on a first impression. This is also not him pointedly refusing to even try and get along like Tohma was, since Sampson didn’t ask him to. The blame in the dub version of this argument is a lot more heaped onto Marcus’s side rather than equally with both of them, and Sampson obviously siding with Thomas doesn’t help matters.

Masaru:  “Say that to my face! Look into a person’s eyes when they’re talking!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Say that to my face! Look me in the eye! If you have the guts!”

There’s slightly less emphasis on Marcus caring about people looking him in the eye when they’re talking to him, since he turns it into a general jab about Thomas not having any guts, but I do appreciate that it’s pretty much still here and unchanged.

Marcus: “What fighting skills does Your Highness possess, you royal jerk?!”

Ehh, I don’t really like Marcus bringing in jabs about the nobility thing at this point. Thomas has just insulted his fighting strength, and in that particular fighting context, Masaru would not care about anything except his opponent’s strength and would not make uncalled-for jabs at something unrelated.

Yoshino:  “This is the worst… Go ahead, do whatever you want.”

~~~~~

Yoshi:  “Oh well… Good luck. Protect yourself.”

This is after Marcus refuses to put on his headgear in the boxing ring. Yoshino sounds like she’s just exasperatedly washing her hands of his self-destructive recklessness, because hey, at least she tried. But Yoshi still seems to be genuinely trying to help him, even as the “protect yourself” falls kinda flat because he literally just refused to do so. (It doesn’t sound especially sarcastic – the “good luck” at least sounds very genuine.)

Tohma:  “Why did you join DATS?”

Masaru:  “Huh?! It was so I could win, obviously!”

Tohma:  “Against who?”

Masaru:  “Against strong guys!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “What made you join DATS in the first place?”

Marcus: “Huh? It was so I could meet guys like *you*!”

Thomas: “Seriously?”

Yoshi:  “He means, he wanted to fight. Strong guys, like you.”

Marcus: “Not him…”

I think what the dub is trying to get at with “guys like you” is similar to a change they made last episode, in which Marcus apparently specifically wants to beat up bad guys, and Thomas is totally one of those, right. I guess props to the dub for at least trying to keep that vaguely consistent? Even though it’s a change that I very much do not like.

I presume the “not him” after Yoshi just said “strong guys like [Thomas]” is Marcus wanting to insist that Thomas isn’t strong, because it otherwise wouldn’t make any sense for him to deny the thing that he literally just said himself.

But, hey, notice something else here? Yoshino doesn’t have a line here in the original. They edited the footage to take away Marcus explaining his own goals and put those words into Yoshi’s mouth instead. Why? Why would you do that. I’d say that maybe they only did so to remove some of the punching from the fight because oh no violence (there will be some Issues the dub has with removing punching from this anime which is very heavily about punching), except they still keep the bit where Thomas punches Marcus in the stomach, so that can’t be it. They actually keep all the punches in this fight uncut, which is Rare for the dub.

Tohma:  (He’s beyond help.)

~~~~~

Thomas: (I’m getting tired of this.)

Thomas’s thought is a lot less unreasonable than Tohma’s. Thomas is still coming across as significantly more in the right than Marcus in the dub, rather than them being equally as bad as each other.

Masaru:  “A fight doesn’t end until one side admits defeat!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Sorry ‘bout that. Why don’t you run along and catch up with Sampson. Maybe you can read a report together.”

Ughhh, I really, really don’t like this. The dub has apparently decided that, since Marcus is A Jock™, he must be disdainful of Nerds™ like Thomas and make jabs about that. Masaru doesn’t frigging care! He does not give a damn in the slightest how book-smart and workaholic Tohma is; the only thing that would ever matter to Masaru is how he fares in a fight.

And we get this instead of that fun line showing Masaru’s philosophy about street fights, giving more insight into why he insisted on getting up and continuing the fight even after the “match” had ended.

I also don’t like Marcus’s “apology”. He is very obviously not sorry for deliberately punching Thomas, and trying to act like he is when he obviously isn’t is such an insincere dick thing to do that would never even cross Masaru’s mind.

Yoshino:  “Tohma’s beaten Olympic champions in the past.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “I’ve seen Thomas routinely beat Olympic champions in that very ring!”

…What, in that ring in the gym that’s presumably at DATS? Even if this is the dub assuming it’s not at DATS and is just some gym somewhere nearby in town, you’d have thought that if Tohma had fought champions, he’d have gone to them to do so, rather than inviting them to him. To them, he’s just some random rich kid; why would they go that far out of their way for him?

The “routinely” also serves to make Thomas’s talent sound even more ridiculously over-the-top than it already was.

Yoshino:  “Really, the only things worthy of a gold medal around here are your pride and your competitive attitude.”

~~~~~

Yoshi: “Marcus, I’m not impressed by your bragging, and Thomas isn’t even in the room!”

I miss the snark. A lot of characters the dub makes snarkier, but Yoshi kinda becomes a bit less so, it seems.

Kudamon:  “If even a small flame from PetitMeramon’s body remains, it has the ability to develop and multiply in a short time. It should have been prevented from doing so earlier.”

~~~~~

Kudamon:  “A DemiMeramon can regenerate itself over and over again, multiplying a hundred times in as little as half an hour. Apparently, the area wasn’t sealed off earlier.”

The dub manages to completely leave out the part where this is Masaru’s fault because embers from the PetitMeramon were scattered everywhere from his failed attempts to punch it and then he ran off and left things on fire for new PetitMeramon to regenerate themselves from.

Instead, apparently DemiMeramon can just multiply… whenever? It doesn’t do so from the flames it leaves behind, it just copies itself? Except, if Thomas secured the single DemiMeramon that there was to begin with, it literally should not have been able to do so. Sealing off the area would have been irrelevant once it had been safely turned into an egg. The only way it could have multiplied itself like this is if it did so before Thomas neutralised it – but it clearly didn’t do that in front of Marcus, so this is hardly his fault.

Marcus has the same flashback to punching the DemiMeramon and the same thought that this is his fault, but this makes absolutely no sense with the information the dub has given us. Great job there, dubbers.

Sampson: “And now, the DemiMeramon has been left on its own to multiply at will!”

Um, dub? Do you not remember the part where Thomas brought in the DemiMeramon’s egg? It was not left anywhere. That is not how this happened and not why this is (supposed to be) Marcus’s fault.

Masaru:  “Wait! Those fireballs are ours to beat!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “Hey! Hold on a second, that’s our case!”

They really are watering down any sense that Marcus sees this as being about finishing his fight. Instead he’s apparently invested because this is a case, like he ever really cared about the official DATS investigation side of things.

Masaru:  “Damn right! We’ll pull it off somehow using our spirits!”

~~~~~

Marcus: “You bet! And we’ll do it with style, too!”

I miss the “somehow”, making it clear that Masaru has absolutely no idea how he’s going to do this and is willing to basically admit that, yet still wants to throw himself into it anyway.

Marcus: “You two can’t handle that many alone! We’ll help!”

The “we’ll help” is a dub addition, but I am surprised by the notion that Marcus sounds willing to just help Thomas, essentially working together with him. That definitely shouldn’t be something he’d want to do right now. (Suddenly the dub is making Marcus come across as more reasonable and less of a jerk than it’s been doing the entire time, because what is consistency.)

Megumi:  “His lightning-fast techniques look great!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “His reflexes are lightning fast! And he’s cute!”

Okay, never mind what I said earlier, I guess the dub is still keeping the idea that the computer ladies think Thomas is cute, adding in a reference to that where there wasn’t even one originally.

Agumon:  “Wow…”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Cute?”

And because of that, we also lose Agumon being in awe of Tohma and Gaomon’s performance and accidentally making Masaru feel worse, in place of him simply irrelevantly questioning Megumi’s comment.

Kudamon:  “Aren’t you going to stop him?”

Satsuma:  “Leave him alone.”

~~~~~

Kudamon: “You’re not going to say anything?”

Sampson: “Not yet.”

So apparently, Sampson is planning to give Marcus some kind of talking-to about this at some point probably fairly soon. We’re really losing that sense from Satsuma that he understands that Masaru will be Masaru and is being patient and giving him space to sort his issues with Tohma out on his own, which I enjoyed and am sad to lose.

Agumon:  “Aniki… Why are you angry?”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Don’t be upset, Boss! Just because Thomas is better than you!”

Originally Agumon didn’t really understand what was going on in Masaru’s head. Meanwhile, dub-Agumon seems to have Marcus figured out perfectly – and yet is also tactless enough to outright say the thing he’s already realised is upsetting him.

Agumon:  “Well, I think Tohma and Gaomon are nasty guys too, but…”

~~~~~

Agumon: “Boss, I’m sorry I said that about Thomas. You’re better than him.”

At least dub-Agumon realises this and apologises after Marcus is clearly not thrilled by it, but his “you’re better than him” reads as pretty empty reassurance when he just said the exact opposite.

(Meanwhile, original-Agumon still didn’t realise this had anything to do with who’s better than who and just thought it had to be about Tohma being kind of a dick, while still being confused at how that would make Aniki this upset…?)

Masaru:  “No… It’s myself that I’m mad at, not them.”

~~~~~

Marcus: “No, I’m not. I’m just pig-headed and I let my pride get in my way.”

Marcus, like Masaru, is capable of realising that the problem is himself here… but he goes way further than Masaru does as to why that supposedly is.

And the thing is, this isn’t actually supposed to be the problem in the original! Originally, Masaru’s issue was that Tohma is “better” than him simply in the sense that he’s a stronger and more capable fighter, making Masaru face the fact that he might not be as strong a fighter as he thought he was. But here in the dub, apparently the problem is that Thomas is “better” than Marcus because of Marcus’s personality, because Thomas is supposedly just a better person than some pig-headed arrogant jerk like Marcus.

Which is not the point! Masaru can be reckless and prideful sometimes, but it’s never in a way that makes him a bad fighter or a bad person. He’s been a bit of argumentative jerk in this episode in particular with regards to Tohma, but Tohma himself has been equally bad in that regard in his own very different way. The original was great in having both Masaru and Tohma be equally the problem in this clash between them, in very parallel ways.

Yet apparently the dub wants us to think that, no, Thomas is a perfectly reasonable guy and the problem really is that Marcus is such an arrogant jerk compared to him. Which I guess is somewhat consistent with some of the small changes they’ve been making to the rest of the episode to make Marcus slightly more of a jerk and Thomas slightly less of one, and having Sampson clearly come down on Thomas’s side, to make it look like Marcus’s attitude alone is the problem.

But, urgh! I hate that the dub is doing this to Masaru’s character, presenting Marcus as more of a jerk and as if this is his biggest character flaw, when that has nothing to do with what’s going on with Masaru and just makes Marcus significantly less likeable! Why would you ever think this was a good thing to do with the story’s main protagonist, seriously.

Masaru:  “Damn it! What am I doing? Really… what the hell am I doing?”

~~~~~

Marcus: “It’s time I realised it. I still have a lot to learn. Face it. I’m not the ultimate fighter.”

And now, while originally Masaru was unable to properly articulate what it actually was that was frustrating him about himself, Marcus has just fully completed this 100% self-aware reflection. From this, what you’d assume it’d lead into would be, presumably, Marcus trying to be less “pig-headed and prideful” and more like Thomas, since apparently Thomas’s way of doing things obviously makes him better than Marcus as both a fighter and a person?

Yeah, raincheck on that supposed character development. I’m sure you can already tell that’s not what’s going to happen here, since it isn’t in the original, because it doesn’t freaking need to be.

Also, remember how I made a point of how the original changed Masaru’s “already the number one street fighter” into Marcus’s “trying to be the ultimate fighter” in episode 1? That’s becoming extremely relevant right here.

This whole episode is a bit of a wake-up call for Masaru in terms of realising for the first time that maybe he’s not actually the greatest fighter like he thought and there’s still more growing he can do. But Marcus? He’s supposed to have already known that. “Face it, I’m not the ultimate fighter”? You literally never said you were in the first place. You were supposed to already know you had a lot to learn, so why is it only just now “time I realised it”?

There wouldn’t necessarily be anything inherently wrong with the dubbers changing Marcus’s ultimate fighter thing into this if they’d made sure to follow through on it and also change every character moment he gets to be consistent with the new version. Buuut they’re not doing that. I don’t think they realised how meaningful of a change it even was to make in the first place.

Old man:  “It’s hard lighting up a fire… The sparks go out easily whenever the wind gets a little too strong.”

Masaru:  “Well, obviously!”

~~~~~

Old man: “I’m having trouble starting a fire, though. Y’see, the flames keep dying out on me because the wind’s too strong and it keeps blowing it out.”

Marcus: “Yeah, that’s happened to me, too.”

Unlike Masaru, who was just expressing exasperation at this old guy telling him something obvious like he didn’t already know that the wind blows out flames, Marcus appears to be… getting the metaphor? His own experience that he’s referring to could just be his literal problem of not being able to punch fire, but based on what he’s just been reflecting on a moment ago and also judging from his tone of voice, that doesn’t seem to be it.

Which makes me sad! Masaru is a ridiculously straightforward doofus who wouldn’t know a metaphor if it punched him in the face, and I am disappointed to see the dub water down that delightful part of his character and make Marcus into some kind of regular person who can actually recognise that kind of thing.

Old man:  “But… once I get a larger flame going, it burns strongly no matter how much the wind blows. Fire is an interesting thing, isn’t it?”

Masaru:  “…This is…”

~~~~~

Old man: “Well… If you learn to use the wind instead of fighting it, you can make the fire burn brighter than ever before. Harness power, don’t extinguish it.”

Marcus: “…He’s right!”

But then, the dub’s version of the metaphor becomes something quite different. Instead of saying that Masaru’s “flame” will soon get so strong that no wind can blow it out, he’s saying that Marcus should harness the “wind” to make his “flame” stronger.

Originally, the metaphor was basically meant to be a reassurance to Masaru that he’s already doing fine – that he just needs to keep going as he has been and continue to grow and soon enough nothing will be able to stop him. But here in the dub, the metaphor appears to be prompting him to take new action of some sort, warning him that his flame will keep getting blown out if he doesn’t do whatever “harnessing the wind” is supposed to mean.

It’s ambiguous exactly what the “wind” could represent here. If it’s something that was getting in Marcus’s way until now, is it meant to be his “pig-headed pride” that he was just thinking was his big problem? Is the point of this supposed to be the old man telling Marcus through metaphor that actually he should keep being exactly the way he is and should just do that harder?

On the one hand I’d be okay with that because hey, guess what, newsflash, there is actually nothing wrong with Masaru being the way he is, and the dub is wrong to try and act like his personality is the issue and to distort his personality into being more of a jerk to make it an issue. But then that just serves to completely undermine the supposed realisation that Marcus had back in the tunnel and set him back on the track of not trying to change at all. (Which, yeah, again, spoilers, he’s not going to; of course he’s not going to be actively trying to make himself more like Thomas, because that’s not something that Masaru would ever do. Masaru has very strong convictions in who he is and wouldn’t change that for anyone.)

And somehow, despite this metaphor being a lot more metaphorical and ambiguous than it was in the original, and despite this being Marcus, he appears to completely understand what the old man is trying to say to him and take those words to heart. Whatever those words actually are. Somehow.

…I suppose it’s possible that actually the “wind” in the metaphor is supposed to represent Thomas, and that this metaphor is trying to encourage Marcus and Thomas to work together to make each other stronger. This would sort of make sense, since GeoGreymon uses fire-based attacks while Gaogamon uses wind-based attacks, and we’ll actually be seeing some metaphorical stuff being done with those attacks of theirs in the next couple of episodes. Still, if that’s the case, it’s nonetheless definitely not what Marcus gets from this metaphor right here.

But you know what else this dub version of the metaphor very much isn’t? It is not remotely useful literal advice about how to punch fire. At no point does it explain the part where a stronger flame won’t be blown out by anything (and will therefore be punchable). So whatever Marcus is getting from the old man’s words here, it isn’t that. This is kind of important for what’s about to happen next.

As Marcus hears about the trouble at the gas tanks and rushes off, the old man has an added line that’s just silence in the original:

Old man: “See what good fire does?”

…which makes even more of a point that this is definitely only meant to be some kind of metaphor. Though, wasn’t he trying to say that the wind would do Marcus good? Marcus already is the fire in this metaphor, so stressing that fire is good seems besides the point. I’m getting increasingly convinced that the dubbers just didn’t have an actual meaning in mind for their version of the metaphor at all and were half-assing this entire conversation. (Yet they somehow still felt they knew better than the original writers enough to change it at all.)

Thomas: “There’s no chance he can secure the DemiMeramon. There’s too many!”

[cut to precisely *three* DemiMeramon flying around]

Yep, sure, three of them is totally too many. Originally the “too many” comment wasn’t there, and Tohma thought Masaru couldn’t do this simply because he hadn’t shown he could handle any PetitMeramon at all. Numbers are not supposed to be the issue here, or at least not the primary one like Thomas is making it sound like it is.

Masaru:  “Fire sparks easily go out whenever the wind blows on them. But… Once they burst into flame…!”

[Masaru leaps to punch the Meramon quite solidly in the face and lands with his Digisoul flaring]

Masaru:  “They won’t be extinguished so easily!”

~~~~~

Marcus:  “Just like the old man said, a fire can be blown out by the wind. Then again… you know what I always say…!”

[Marcus leaps to punch the Meramon quite solidly in the face and lands with his DNA flaring]

Marcus:  “You gotta fight fire with fire!”

So… yeah. In the dub, the old man’s words were not actually advice on how to solve this problem, and Marcus’s decision to deliberately make the DemiMeramon stronger had nothing to do with what the old man told him. He had no reason to believe this would work. He really was just being dangerously rash and hot-headed with no sense of actual plan or strategy, and it really did only work out of sheer luck.

(I mean, okay, maybe he could have just figured on his own that making the fire stronger would make it punchable. But Masaru is definitely not supposed to be the kind of person who could figure that out without being nudged in the right direction by someone else. And if Marcus really is perfectly capable of figuring that out on his own, why did he not do so the first time?)

Thomas: “Marcus made Meramon Digivolve on purpose so he could activate his DNA…”

It is very debatable that this was on purpose here, Thomas.

Megumi:  “Not bad!”

~~~~~

Megumi: “Marcus proved he could do it!”

Thanks, dub, we needed it made obvious that this fight was about Marcus proving himself, because we couldn’t figure that out on our own.

Thomas: “Don’t get cocky. You just got lucky this time, that’s all.”

This line is basically unchanged, but guess what? Thomas is right to say this, where Tohma wasn’t.

Tohma:  “Don’t be absurd. You don’t come up with any strategy or tactics. Do you think using force all the time will let you win at everything?”

Masaru:  “Hah, sounds like a sore loser to me.”

~~~~~

Thomas: “Just as I thought, you had no plan and no tactics, just raw power.”

Marcus: “Hah. For a genius, you’re a real sore loser.”

Still basically the same, but again, Thomas is right this time, not being a sore loser. In fact, the added “just as I thought” (and this line comes after the cut back to HQ, so there was conversation prior to it that we didn’t hear) suggests that Thomas has just heard from Marcus himself that, yes, he really did just recklessly charge in with no plan.

I mean, sure, in a sense Thomas is still being a sore loser because Marcus’s raw power still worked. But the point of the sore loser line in the original was that Tohma insisting that Masaru used no tactics in and of itself was him sorely refusing to admit that maybe Masaru actually did have some idea what he was doing after all.

Tohma:  “What did you say?”

Masaru:  “Wanna make somethin’ of it? I’ll knock you out with one hit to the face this time!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “What did you say?”

Marcus: “Oh, just this: I’ll take my raw power over your tactics any day!”

Granted, outright saying he’d prefer raw power over tactics is definitely something Masaru might also say (of course he would; look at how he never tried to point out that he actually did have a strategy because he doesn’t care about that). But this is a bit of a different way for the dub to show Marcus having his confidence back, since his “conflict” this episode was apparently about “oh no what if raw power is bad and I should be more like Thomas”.

(…Did the dub actually deliberately remove the part where the metaphor was literal advice about punching fire so that Marcus could win through nothing but raw power in order to facilitate this complete backpedal in what briefly appeared to be some ill-advised character development? Ugh, but even if that was on purpose, it’s so much more interesting to show that Masaru actually can do strategy sometimes, and it’s just that his strategies are a lot more risky and head-on than Tohma’s!)

Tohma:  “You want me… to act alongside him?”

Masaru:  “You’re joking! I’ll never accept him as my partner!”

~~~~~

Thomas: “But sir, he’s completely undisciplined!”

Marcus: “This clown?! I’ll never be his partner – he’s way too annoying!”

Thomas and Marcus get given specific reasons to object to working together in the dub – and while Thomas’s complaint of “undisciplined” is perfectly reasonable, Marcus’s complaint of “annoying” seems rather beside the point. Too pompous, too uptight, (too makes-him-feel-like-maybe-strategy-and-not-just-raw-power-might-be-useful); something like that would be more relevant to Marcus. Is this supposed to be another Marcus Just Hates Nerds™ thing? Because ugh.

Overall differences

Oh boy. There’s a lot going on in terms of changes in this episode, and basically all of it is bad.

Rather than Masaru and Tohma both being presented as equally out-of-line for their own reasons in their initial arguments, the narrative firmly comes down on Thomas’s side by making Thomas less unreasonably harsh in his comments and by having Sampson clearly taking Thomas’s side.

The bit where they explain how DemiMeramon multiplied makes no sense and certainly doesn’t logically leave it as being Marcus’s fault at all, yet he still claims it is for no reason and we’re just expected to believe that.

Then there’s Marcus’s whole, ahem, “character arc” for the episode, if it can even be called that. Rather than some delightful subtle exploration of how Masaru deals with the realisation that he’s not necessarily the strongest fighter out there like he professes to be, it becomes this heavy-handed thing about how Marcus’s whole problem is that he’s Such A Big Arrogant Jerk. Marcus is way more self-aware about his supposed exact problem than someone like him really ought to be (including admitting he’s not the ultimate fighter when he never said he was), and for a moment it seems like his character development is going to be about him learning to be less of a jerk and more like Thomas. Except it won’t, because this won’t happen in the original, because this is not remotely Masaru’s problem in the original.

Then there’s the old man’s metaphor. Originally he was effectively saying that Masaru is doing fine the way he is and just needs to keep growing and getting stronger like this. Here, the metaphor is changed to imply that Marcus needs to take some kind of new action, except what new action is extremely unclear and is not actually going to happen, because, again, not how it went originally. Marcus apparently somehow gets this metaphor, which is ridiculous because I’m not even sure what it was on about, never mind that Marcus should be the last person who’s any good with metaphors, just like Masaru is.

And then there’s the part where the old man’s changed metaphor had nothing to do with teaching Marcus how he could literally punch fire and defeat the DemiMeramon. So his victory in the climactic fight really was complete boneheaded reckless luck without a semblance of strategy, and Thomas was right to call it that.

This entire dub version of the episode firmly wants you to come down on Thomas’s side and agree that Marcus is a huge dumb arrogant jerk whose personality is the entire problem here, and, urgh. I hate it. I hate it so much. I hate that the dub writers consciously chose to do this to Masaru’s character. Masaru does not deserve this.

(You’re probably starting to see why I’m actually quite glad that Masaru has a different name in the dub. Marcus may be a somewhat different character that the dub is insistently making worse, but at least Masaru will always be untainted and separate from the dub’s nonsense.)

[sohotthateveryonedied]

I Die Without You (ch. 1)

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Conner stands in front of him now, putting Tim at eye-level with his chin. When Tim doesn’t look up from his notes, Conner blocks the data sheet with a translucent hand. “You’re being a dumbass. You need to start taking care of yourself again.”

Tim turns away. “Yeah, well, I need my best friend back more. You should be all for that, so would it kill you to shut up and let me work?” Fuck. He needs a pill. He takes one from the handful he keeps in his utility belt and swallows it dry, ignoring Conner’s damning stare.

Conner Kent has been dead for three months, two weeks, and six days. “Initiate cloning attempt number twenty-one.” Tim can feel eyes on his back, burning through the skin and searing his spine. If he didn’t already know that ghosts can’t use heat vision, he might be concerned. “I can feel you judging me.” “Good. My face is sore from scowling.” Conner is leaning against one of the room’s glass pods, his arms crossed over the torn S-symbol on his chest. His normally carefree atmosphere has been replaced with an air of judgement—a mile leap from the Conner Kent who was all brass and thunder, jokes and lifting contests with Cassie. It makes Tim feel like even more of a creep than he already does, skulking around in the basement of Titans Tower with Conner’s eyes on him the entire time. The shame of his actions has weight now, getting heavier with every advancement he makes. He resents Conner’s presence as much as he needs it. Craves it. “You need to stop this,” Conner says, not for the first time. Tim doesn’t look at him. He prints out the latest data report in a foot-long sheet. There must be some component to the cloning process that he’s missing. Some bonding agent he hasn’t considered. “Then drag me out of the room.” “I’m serious, Tim. You passed the point of crazy, like, two weeks ago.” “Since when is saving a life considered crazy?” “Since there’s no life left to save. I’m dead, Tim. And yeah, it sucks, but there’s nothing we can do about it. You can’t keep working like this.” “Watch me.”

“You’re killing yourself. You realize that, right?” If Tim could walk away knowing that Conner wouldn’t just follow him like a worm on a string, he would. “When’s the last time you ate? The last time you slept? Do you even know what day it is?” “January.” “This is irresponsible. It’s stupid. If Bruce knew how far gone you were, he’d take you off active duty for a week. Probably longer.” “Which is why he’ll never find out.” “That’s not the point, Tim!” Conner makes no audible footsteps, but Tim can sense when he comes nearer, like a tugging sensation in his stomach. Tim has his own gravitational pull, it seems; any ghosts in the area are drawn towards him like magnets. He can always feel Kon, no matter how far away he is. Conner stands in front of him now, putting Tim at eye-level with his chin. When Tim doesn’t look up from his notes, Conner blocks the data sheet with a translucent hand. “You’re being a dumbass. You need to start taking care of yourself again.” Tim turns away. “Yeah, well, I need my best friend back more. You should be all for that, so would it kill you to shut up and let me work?” Fuck. He needs a pill. He takes one from the handful he keeps in his utility belt and swallows it dry, ignoring Conner’s damning stare. He’s been needing more, lately. He hadn’t noticed until Conner brought it up a few days ago, but Tim has upped the dosage to six, seven pills a day. He tries not to think about what’s changed. Even if he is using drugs to cope with the circumstances the universe has thrown his way, it’s not like he would be completely clean, otherwise. Feeling like his grief is miles away with every dose is just a happy side effect. It’s manageable. Conner shakes his head. “I can’t believe you.” “What am I doing that’s so wrong?” “The fact that you shouldn’t be doing this in the first place. I’ve accepted what happened. Why can’t you?” “Maybe I don’t want to accept it.” “Do you really think that bringing me back to life is going to help anything?” “Don’t you want to be alive? To see Clark again, Cassie, Martha, everyone who loved you? Don’t you want that?” “Of course I do.” Tim throws his hands in the air. “Then why are you fighting me on this? How can you stand there and tell me that I’m not doing the right thing when I’m trying to accomplish something that’ll make everyone happy?” “Because it won’t work.” Conner materializes in Tim’s path again, forcing Tim to look at him. It’s painful to see the open wounds on once impenetrable skin, the smoldering edges of his t-shirt. Instead, he focuses on Conner’s face. Unblemished. Untarnished. Just as it was in life. “Tim, even if you find a way to make this cloning stuff work, I won’t be there. You have to understand that. You’re too smart not to. It’ll just be another cheap copy of the original, like Match and Bizarro. But me—the real me? I’m staying right here, dead as hell. You can’t change that.” Tim waves a hand. “That’s just a minor setback. Once I get the cloning process perfected, all I have to do is call up Constantine or Zatanna and convince them to help me figure out how to restore your soul. You’ll be back in a brand new body, and everything will be back to normal.” “Do you hear yourself, man? You sound like a crazy person. You sound like Lex.” “I don’t care.” “You should!” Conner explodes, his eyes glowing with radiation he can’t unleash. “You should fucking care! What, do you think I’m going to come back to life and pretend that the cost of it wasn’t you destroying all the good parts of yourself? Do you think I’ll just forgive myself for that?” Tim shrugs. He should be feeling more, but the meds have kicked in by now. A pleasant hum runs through his blood. “That’s exactly what I expect. It’s what happened with Jason, remember?” Tim goes back to the computer to upload the latest attempt report. “You don’t remember being dead, just blinking out and blinking back in. Everything that you experienced while you were gone, it all gets erased. You won’t even remember this conversation.” Conner shakes his head. Tim would be lying if he said the disappointment on his face didn’t make his stomach twist. “This isn’t right. I care about you too much to sit back and watch you lose yourself like this.” “Do you think I want you here, watching me fall apart? I know how crazy this looks. I know I must be breaching every ethical code in the book. And I would give anything to make you go away long enough so I can work in peace, but I can’t control that. The ghosts stay, whether I like it or not. So if you can find a way to check out on your own, then be my guest.” Tim turns back to the computer, his eyes stinging. He takes another pill. Conner sighs. Tim can feel him hovering behind his shoulder, a mop of messy black hair in the corner of his eye. Tim shivers when Conner touches his shoulder. “I miss you, Tim. I’m sorry my death broke you.” “Yeah. Me too.”

READ THE REST ON AO3 BECAUSE IT’S A LONG ONE.

[inquartata30]

WIP Friday

tagged by @jennserr thanks!

tagging @natsora @fogsblue and @jt-boi-n7 no obligations

So this is the start for an asari empire AU that was prompted at some point and has gotten away from me. The Empire AU isn’t the nicest universe, but I couldn’t bring myself to write a Mirror Universe level of bad place. (MU episodes in star trek make me anxious as fuck for the entire episode).

Thaia couldn’t keep it to herself anymore. It was bugging the ever-loving fuck out of her and now she was going to share so it it would bug the ever-loving fuck out of her squadmates, too. “She doesn’t look like a pirate.”

“Why’s that?” asked Paion, their sniper.

“Pirates don’t usually wear lab coats, for one.”

Their hostage, Lexi, according to the dossier, finally spoke up for the first time since they’d reached the prefab they were using as a base. “I’m wearing a lab coat because I’m a physician, not a pirate. Tell me, do you each possess one lonely brain cell? Or do you share a single brain cell amongst the three of you?”

Lovely as Lexi’s voice was, the things she said hurt more than getting fucking shot. “Also,” Thaia said, “pirates usually eviscerate people with sharp blades, not words.”

“I’m good with a scalpel. Would you care for a demonstration?”

“We’re not giving you a scalpel,” Minyae said. 

Lexi settled back against the wall behind the small plasteel bench she was sitting on. “Such a shame. I hope using your collective brain cell didn’t cause too much strain.”

Thaia paced, trying to settle down, but it was still bugging the fuck out of her. She needed to get it across to her squadmates how fucked they could be before they all ended up entirely fucked over. “Seriously, think about it. We picked her up in a verified lab that had actual scientists and doctors working there. And the stuff they were talking about was—”

“Kallistrate, stop thinking so much,” Paion said. “Out loud, especially.”

“And stop fucking pacing,” Minyae added.

Thaia leaned against the prefab’s wall, reflexively double checking the status of the cell’s security measures. She’d keep her thoughts to herself, but she wasn’t about to stop thinking. Since the moment her squad had descended on the lab, nothing about this counter-piracy mission had felt right, including how the target pickup had been easy. Too easy. Unless there was a significant sum of credits offered, pirates always fought back. Now, as far as Thaia knew from the briefing, no credits had been offered and so they’d been told to expect resistance. 

There had not been.

Instead, everyone in the lab had their hands up and kept them there when the team had gone in, no one had even verbally objected—aside from the target, who’d had plenty of objections and made them all so sharply they should’ve drawn blood—and they’d exited the lab less than five minutes after entering. No shots fired. From what Thaia had observed of the data displayed on terminal screens, a lot of it was statistical—a subject Thaia had studied as part of a remote undergraduate program—and the rest had looked a lot like the stuff her aunt, a biochemist, sometimes brought home. In other words, it all looked legit, and none of the chemical compounds were biochemical weapons related, either. Then Thaia ran a records check and discovered a fucking mountain-high stack of medical credentials under the name Lexi T’Perro—apparently a psychologist as well as a physician—and the photo ID and DNA were a dead-on match. So, either Lexi was a reformed pirate, an undercover pirate with fifteen educations to match, or she really was a doctor like she claimed and not a pirate at all.

And doctors were non-combatants. Doctors were off-limits. Doctors were to be left alone because they healed people. Commandos were supposed to protect them.

Not only was abducting a doctor and holding her for ransom morally and ethically wrong, but it also teetered on the edge of war crime.

Maybe she should bring that up. Even katastra, despite their reputations, didn’t commit war crimes. And this squad wasn’t even katastra. Just the regular type of counter-ops squad in the Empire’s military. 

Before Thaia could mention anything, Calchas, their XO, walked into the room. Paion and Minyae got to their feet and Thaia straightened up from the wall.

 Once Calchas had their full attention, she said, “Good news: the hostage has been verified as the correct target, despite being a doctor.”

“As I’ve been saying,” Lexi said.

Calchas scowled at her. “Shut it.”

“Tell me there’s not mo—” Paion started to say.

At the same time, Thaia said, “We should let her—”

Calchas cut them both off. “Bad news: she’s the doctor for Omega’s controlling syndicate.”

“Fuck,” Minyae said. “You’re telling me we’re holding Aria Fucking T’Loak’s doctor?”

“Worst news,” Calchas said. “Her mother is Aria’s top and longest-serving lieutenant.”

“So we’re letting her go?” Thaia asked. “The right thing to do aside, that’s also the sane thing to do if we all don’t want to die. Because Aria will come after Lexi herself and she’ll mercilessly slaughter us in the process.”

Calchas shook her head. “Mission’s still a go.”

Thaia gaped at her. The fuck. Maybe the Katastrae, the specialized division her former unit was part of, did some questionable and devastatingly brutal things, but they’d never fucked around with doctors or medics. The fuck was a standard commando unit doing pulling shit like this? ”You have to be fucking kidding me.”

“Did my XO misspeak, Lieutenant Kallistrate?” Captain Nasrin asked as she stepped into the room. “I didn’t hear her misspeak. The hostage stays our hostage. We play this right, no one dies. No one on our side, anyway. But this means we need to shore up our defenses and prep for a heavy assault.”

[fierceautie]

 Notice how the same graphic is used for this study as Spark for Autism. It's literally the same idea. Spectrum 10k is yet another DNA collection of autistic DNA. This time its being brought out by the Autism Research Center.  University of Cambridge (David Rowitch), Autism Research Centre (Simon Baron-Cohen, Carrie Allison, Varun Warrier, Isabelle Garvey, Armandina (Mina) Almanza Gutierrez, Paula Smith), Wellcome Sanger Institute (Matthew Hurles, Hiliary Martin), and the University of California Los Angeles (UCLA) (Daniel Gecshwind) are leading it.  It is supposedly the largest study of autism in the United Kingdom. Spectrum 10k aims to investigate genetic and environmental factors that contribute  to the wellbeing of autistic individuals and their families. We hope 10,000 autistic people and, where possible, thier families will take part."It has been proven time and time again that autism is purely genetic. The "environmental factors" they are talking about is that bogus testosterone link. This attacks everyone who has polycystic ovarian syndrome, which is a known common comorbidity with autism. They are including autistic people of all ages, genders, ethnicities and intellectual abilities. They only want residents of the UK and they must have a clinical diagnosis. Registered autistics can invite biological relatives (autistic or allistic) to participate. How to participate is pretty much the same as Spark for Autism. Sign up online, receive a DNA test kit and send it back via the mail. After signing up, there is a online survey that must be filled out that takes 30 minutes to complete. If they really want autistic help, why are they making it so much work?THE PARTICIPANTS ARE NOT PAIDThat's right, they expect disabled people to provide them with data FOR FREE. As much as I dislike Spark, at least they gave gift cards for participation!They reiterate that they are not looking for a cure but they want autistic DNA. The very person taking the lead in this project is searching for the DNA link to autism so he can create a prenatal test. Why else would you want a prenatal test for autism unless it goes down the same route as Down syndrome?The study will not look for a cute for autism and does not aim to eradicate autism. Every member of the Spectrum 10k team values and respects autistic difference and are working to promote inclusion, acceptance and dignity for autistic people throughout society. How is this true when the leading researcher has been searching for a prenatal test? Using identity first language and neurodiversity language is just a ploy to draw more people in. This is how they explain it:They are asked : Do you aim to develop genetic testing for autism?This study does not aim to develop a test for autism. Through increased understanding of genetic and environmental influences and mechanisms, which underlie autism, we hope to develop pathways for improved diagnosis and medical support. However, future knowledge may lead to improved diagnosis through genetic testing. We believe autism is an integral part of human neurodiversity and therefore are ethically opposed to any form of eugenics. That was a lot of words for yes and we will talk in circles to confuse you. What they say only in the fine print is that they are making this database to share with other researchers and it can be disclosed without the participants consent. The name will not be attached to the genetic information. So, the very basic thing that makes up an individual is being shared and sold to other researchers. If that isn't being violated, nothing else is. They will only share it with external academic researchers that "aim to make valuable contributions to autism research." This can mean anything coming from these people. Would you want your DNA contributing to the prenatal test that causes autistic babies to be aborted? In another paragraph they say that they do share data with commercial collaborators. It is optional but the participant needs to know to opt out of it. Not everyone will think of this when signing up for it. They are preying on people and using thier DNA. These commercial collaborators could be to help epilepsy or to alleviate gut difficulty (again with autistic poop?). They cannot be completely clear on what this means. "We will carefully review all requests to use Spectrum 10k data; anonymized data will be shared with research groups that have received ethical approval and who's aims are in line with our efforts to improve the well being of autistic people." Does not feel trustworthy. They will receive the saliva, analyze it and will be stored on the servers at the University of Cambridge and password protected. All of know from using the internet, that can be hacked. Nothing will be traced to the donor but that is still their DNA code. Participants will not receive feedback on thier individual genetic data. So they aren't paying the individuals for thier genetic code and they aren't getting feedback on how their genetic code is helping? Got it. They are disguising it as protecting the poor, fragile autistics:We understand that some autistic individuals and thier family members would like to receive feedback about thier DNA. However, we do not currently have the facilities to provide feedback on your genetic data in an ethical manner that minimizes distress with the right support and counseling services. For this reason we arecurrently unable to provide feedback on your genetic data. We may consider developing an infrastructure in the future.In other words, we won't do it but we say we may to keep the autistics quiet. They do not allow access for the participants to access their own genetic data. They are not sequencing genetic code. Parents are consenting for their young children. Once the parents consent to this and the child grows up, it cannot be taken back. That is a huge betrayal of trust. I would never give away my kids DNA. I would hope other parents feel the same but autistic children and vulnerable adults are being abused with various substances every day by their loved ones. Instead of wasting time and resources on trying to find out why we are autistic, why not spend the time and research on what can improve our lives? Its not rocket science, researchers need to do what is right and not constantly try to fix us. Sources:https://spectrum10k.org

http://www.fierceautie.com/2021/09/bogus-study-spectrum-10k.html

[luminouswhump]

A deal with the devil: part two

Tag list (You are free to ask be to added or deleted at any moment, no judgement at all for either!)

@just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi @just-another-whumper @justabitofwhump

CW FOR PANIC ATTACK, BRIEF MENTION OF NON SEXUAL NON CON TOUCHING AND PTSD FLASHBACK

The great Phoenix, winged protector of the city, leader of Starpatrol, son of the legendary heroic duo who founded The Guard, was shaking in fear and anger at the feet of one of the richest men on the planet, about to sign a contract with the devil. How the mighty fall, indeed.

“Wonderful! I was hoping you’d agree to be a part of my growing body of invaluable work on superpowers.”

Dr. Es’ voice was cheerful, as if he convinced Phoenix to take a quick five minute survey and hadn’t just threatened to burn his team alive. Why was it always those with evil intentions who turned out to be ridiculously rich? Phoenix knew that no building or place was off limits with the funds this man possesed. Then again, it did take a certain type of person to amass billions, and those types of people tended to not care if a few, or many, other people got hurt or treated unethically in the process of their road to riches.

“Now, let’s get you out of that net and into some handcuffs shall we?”

The man stood up and took a cellphone out of his pocket, dialed a number and ordered whoever was on the other side to “drive the truck to the current location”. Phoenix focused on grounding himself, trying to steady his breathing. He knew the man needed him alive, he would make it out of whatever insane experiment was waiting for him alive, that much was sure. He just needed to get through this, he was strong, he could do this. Deep breaths, in, hold, out, in, hold, out. A plain black van, how cliche, turned the corner and began backing into the alley. The back doors swung open and three men stepped out, one was holding a pair of sturdy looking cuffs. So this was really happening. Dr. Es pressed the screen of his phone and a section of the net emitted a soft light.

“There’s the opening boys, our guest shouldn’t be too much trouble but you’d be wise to remember who we’re dealing with nonetheless.”

He stepped aside and the three men got to work. One of them untangled the net, the second one ensured that Phoenix’ hands left the net first and closed the cuffs around his wrists. They expanded upon pressing a button, covering half of his forearm as well as his wrists. “Just a precaution, I’m sure you understand.” Phoenix nodded, unsure what else to do. The net was pulled away from him and he was lifted to his feet. He tried his wings and found he was still unable to use them properly. The men signaled for him to get into the van and he obeyed, stepping into the back and sitting down in the appointed seat. Dr. Es got in after him and as the men busied themselves with cleaning up the alley and attaching the handcuffs to a chain which was bolted to the seat, Phoenix scanned the van. “Comlink please” Said the man after he’d finished securing Phoenix. The hero replied by lifting his hands the few centimeters of wiggle room he was allowed and looked at the man in annoyance. “Ah, yes of course, how silly of me.” The man picked up a flashlight and roughly grabbed the hero’s chin, turning his head to one side to search his ear for an earpiece. Phoenix was sure the man purposely shone the bright lamp directly into his eyes when he turned his head to look at the other ear. Phoenix grunted in annoyance, a blind spot now dancing across his vision.

He janked his head free from the grip in agitation. “I don’t have comlinks in, you can stop looking for them, besides it’s not like I can use them while I’m like this.” He might be afraid of Dr.Es but he sure wasn’t afraid of a bunch of evil interns. He wasn’t lying, Phoenix rarely bothered with wearing an earpiece on solo missions, much to the annoyance to his teammates. If only he’d listened to them this night… The intern checked both ears again, though Phoenix suspected it was mainly done to spite him and when the man stepped back he glared at him. Phoenix wanted nothing more than to wipe the hint of a grin off of the man’s face. He snarled and lunged forward as far as the chain and tight seatbelt would let him and a wave of satisfaction washed over him when the man took a quick step backwards. Phoenix chuckled and leaned back again.

“Now now Phoenix, no need to bully my assistants, let’s all be civil here.”

Phoenix huffed in reply, as if anything this man did could be described as civil. Dr.Es sounded uninterested, he was looking at the other two men spraying the alley down with what Phoenix guessed was something to ensure no traces of him would be detected. "If he’s hiding communication devices somewhere on his body, those will all be detected and fried by our scanners anyways.“ Thehecomment was a matter of fact, of course it was. Dr.Es stood up to let the men take their seats after the door of the van was closed. He took a seat next to Phoenix, who instantly felt less comfortable, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.” So, what’s your plan this time huh, trying to figure out how to disable my wings remotely?“ Part of Phoenix didn’t actually want to know, he knew that the perverted version of a consent form he’d have to sign would explain to him in great detail what torture lay ahead of him anyways.

“Don’t be silly, the data from our last trail already lead to that discovery, hence your inability to use your wings at the current moment, my boy.”

Shock was visible on Phoenix’ face, if this man had figured out how to suppress his abilities, if that information got out, he’d be dead in a week. “Don’t worry, I’ve decided to keep that data to myself, I do not deem it ethical to publish such sensitive information. I am aware of the more unsavory types who would mean you harm should they stumble upon my publications.” Phoenix turned away from the man, looking at the intricate cuffs instead. He added this issue to the list of secrets he hadn’t been able to share with his team yet, but was going to have to talk about at one point. Goddamnit. The van had started moving, there were no windows he could look out of, no way to orient himself.

“We established what you could do with your wings last time, your materialisation speeds, the levels of density you are able to create, etcetera. This time we’re going to look into the location of materialisation, I am, amongst others, interested in finding out if they actually connect to your skin or not and if there are specialised cells present there which aren’t found in regular humans.”

Phoenix felt himself go pale. The skin around his wings was incredibly sensitive, hence why he not only wore a suit of kevlar interwoven fabric, he had an additional plate across his back with reinforced material to protect his wing area. The mere idea of anyone poking around there was enough to send a shiver down his back. He squirmed in his seat, his body instinctively wanted to get away from Dr.Es. He heard the man who had secured him a minute ago, he’d later find out he was called Matthew, chuckle softly at his visible fear. He could practically hear the man taunting him: ‘who’s scared now’. He turned to glare at him but knew that anger would be mixed with fear in his eyes.

He couldn’t turn back, he thought about his team. He would willingly undergo torture, any torture, to protect his team, his family. He could see their faces and hear their voices in his head, as long as he remembered them he could get through this. Even when they weren’t physically with him, knowing they’d be there for him if- no, when, he made it out of here, gave him strength. He was almost excited about the lecture that Jem would be giving him upon his return. Phoenix supposed that lecturing teammates about reckless behavior was simply part of the healer’s job description.

The rest of ride went by without conversation, both verbal and non-verbal, Phoenix busied himself with studying the cuffs and his shoes instead. By the time the van stopped moving his heartrate had returned to normal, picking up again when the doors were opened and he was flanked by Matthew and an as of yet unidentified second evil intern.

He knew escaping now wouldn’t be possible and so allowed himself to be lead into the building that Dr.Es called his research facility. Dr.Es wasn’t his real name of course, but the first time that Phoenix encountered the man he’s been 13 and a sidekick to his parents. They’d allowed him to name the man and the little bird had decided that Doctor Evil Scientist was the most fitting title.

The next hour went by in a blur, Phoenix wasn’t actively trying to zone out, it just kept happening. Not like anything he saw here was going to help him anyways, he knew the man was drowning in money and there was no way he’d be getting out of here without him deeming the experiment finished. He’d live and be set free, but not until the data required had been collected. He vaguely remembered signing a consent form that informed him that they’d be removing some organic tissue from his back, as well as doing a few other relatively harmless tests. Relatively harmless if you didn’t have extremely sensitive skin on your back, that was. Phoenix was escorted to a cell, the evil interns called it a guest room, but most guest rooms didn’t lock on the outside. The cuffs were removed and the interns quickly got out of the run, as if they feared that Phoenix’ powers returning would suddenly make him forget that he was in one of the most inescapable buildings out there. A set of nondescript white clothes were pushed through an opening in the door, along with the order to change, and a promise that his suit would be delivered to the Star Patrol headquarters. The mere idea of his team getting a package with just his suit made Phoenix feel sick.

He did as he was ordered, laying down on the bed, his kind was racing. He was scared. He wasn’t supposed to be scared but God he was. He rolled over to his side, his back facing the wall and curled up into himself. He was terrified of this man, he felt just like the little 13 year old sidekick who’d been captured all those years ago. When he’d finally been released and his parents and the rest of The Guard did everything in their power to hunt down Dr.Es, Phoenix genuinely thought he’d never have to see the man again. How could he have been so stupid? Here he was, locked in a semi-comfortable cell, hours away from being tortured by a man whose face he still saw every other day, moments before waking up in a cold sweat. His breathing sped up. Whose voice plagued his nightmares. He felt trapped, like the walls were closing in on him. “Oh don’t cry little one, just think of all the great scientific breakthroughs were shaping together. Now hold still.” His heartbeat was loud, everything was loud and too much. Hands grabbing him, voices telling him to open his wings, close open, now make them more dense, harder boy! Phoenix couldn’t breathe, they were in the cell, how did they get here?? Faster, faster, come on boy I know you can do it. The touching wouldn’t stop, the hands wouldn’t leave him, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t run. Stop. Stop touching me. Stop it! A knife impaled in his wings, not fast enough, a scream tore through the room, was that him? The voice again, methodological and cruel and too loud. More hands, more restraints, more tests more pain. No, no that was wrong, he was in a cell, the hands were in the past, this wasn’t right. He wasn’t being tested on, he was alone in the bed, in the cell. Just breathe, b r e a t h e goddammit! This isn’t real, you’re not there, you’re not that scared 13 year old. If Phoenix hadn’t been hyperventilating he’d have huffed at that, he wasn’t 13 anymore but he sure as hell was still that same scared boy deep down, he’d just gotten better at hiding it. Come on come on, slow down. Slow down. S l o w. D o w n.

Eventually he managed to return himself to regular breathing and heart rate. He’d been doing so well with just forgetting this whole thing had happened before, gotten so good at lying to himself and telling himself that it didn’t bother him anymore. After all, it had been over 10 years since the first experiment, why should it still be affecting him? He was a superhero for fucks sake, superheroes are supposed to be strong, not plagued by nightmares featuring new interpretations and retellings of events that happened over a decade ago. If his team could see him now…

[struwwelzeter]

About the possibility of vaccination passes at the door to cultural events

This is completely off topic to what I usually post here but I wrote it on fb and what the hell, I guess. I’m too mad to shut up.

First of all:

Being Anti Vaccination in general means you are uninformed and missguided and should educate yourself better.

That being said ...

The amount of perfectly sane, nice and conscious of human rights, people, especially in the gig/events economy, who suddenly think it’s completely ok to ask for vaccination passes and who say shit like “people who aren’t vaccinating shouldn’t be allowed in, I don’t give a shit” is staggering to me.

We get it. The prospect of having to rely on the willingness of idiots to be vaccinated for being able to work again is scary, and staggering. Still, it is not how this is gonna work. The problem isn’t that some people won’t be vaccinated. It shouldn’t be. The only indicator for events being possible should be the overall incident inside of the population. That’s it. Events can happen when incidence is so low, the risk of a big event becoming a superspreader that will overwhelm the health care system and lets alot of people die is basically non existent. Yes, that will depend on a lot of people being vaccinated. No, that does not give you the right to ask for personal health data at the door.

Trying to fast track the opening of events with vaccination passes will always include discrimination (more on that later) and that is why it’s not an option. If you think discrimination is ok in order for you to be able to work, I don’t know what to tell you. If you really think it’s better to descriminate against people who want to attend an event and making them responsible for your ability to work, rather than holding a system responsible that has downgraded culture to a profit orientated amusement park for decades, I really do not know what to tell you. I guess you can leave here, we won’t agree.

The events industry has spend an entire year not working - in order to protect the collective health of our society. It’s our duty as a society to protect them back and make sure they still have food and a roof over their head by the end of this. That ist the real problem. If we did that, we wouldn’t even have this discussion, you could stay home in peace and wait until we have herd immunity. It is very shitty that we, as a society, have failed you. However, just because you have been wronged, you don’t get to wrong people in return, especially because the overlap between the people that wronged you, and those you are now planning to wrong, will be relatively small. Again, if you don’t see how descrimnation against people that haven’t caused your predicament just elevate your situation is wrong, I do not know what to tell you.

Now. Here is why no access without vaccination passes will always open the door for descrimination:

1. For the forseeable future, not everybody will have acces to the vaccine. Depending on country, that will mean your great plan will automatically exclude people of a certain age, financial standing, profession or even location.

2. Some people aren’t recommended to get the vaccine by no fault of their own. This includes:

- Pregnant people (which haven’t been included in the studies with the vaccine yet and are therefore not recommended to get it yet)

- Children and youths under a certain age (which haven’t been included in the studies with the vaccine yet and are therefore not recommended to get it yet)

- Immunocompromised people for exemple through cancer treatments (who should be careful regardless but which haven’t been included in the studies with the vaccine yet and are therefore not recommended to get it yet).

- People with a history of analphylaxis (the allergic reactions to the proteins that serve as a carrier for the mRNA that have been observed in rare cases are mostly patients like this. Risk assessment is individual and down to several factors. This group in particular is interesting in this discussion because while some might be recommended to get the vaccine, they have a good reason to chose not to risk it.)

- People who are very prone to auto immune reactions. The stories you hear about the serious side effects of vaccination and that are used to scaremonger people away from vaccination mostly are stories about a triggered auto immune disease. auto immune things can be triggered by a big variety of things, and it is very rare that it does get triggered by a vaccination. However, in most cases of people actually being at risk for this, there are indicators, such as it running in the family or it already having been triggered by something else. Like with people with analphylaxis, the risk varies from patient to patient.

3. Phobias. This will be very few people but some people do have panic and fear issues surrounding needles tnat you can’t even imagine, you know. Mental Health factors are still health factors.

4. Bodily autonomy. Some people simply do not want to be vaccinated and that’s their right. Are their reasons probably missguided? Yeah. Are many of them stupid? Yup. Is it still the right of every person to decide what happens to their body without having to fear exile from social community? Yes. (This one is tricky because on the case of vaccination of course this only holds up when herd immunity is reached and the refusal to be vaccinated isn’t risking the health of others to an unreasonable degree. Still. People do have the right to not get vaccinated on personal grounds because it’s their body, and the information about that isn’t something anyone should have access to.)

Herd immunity does not mean that every person has to be vaccinated. It means that enough people are vaccinated to ensure that if a virus bounces around he will not find enough to cling to and can’t multiply. It means that the immunity of many will protect the few that aren’t able to get immunity. And that’s why herd immunity should be the indicator for the possibility of events, and not the status of personal health data.

Does that mean we are dependent on every person who can get vaccinated to have the sense to do so? Yes.

Is that scary as hell because people are stupid? Also yes.

Should we therefore descriminate against the herd members that can’t get it and pry into deeply personal reasons and health information for not getting vaccinated (such as being pregnant for exemple) instead of holding society as a whole responsible for the survival of cultural events? God, I hope not.

Please just ... don’t be like that. Be better.

Btw: I am 100% pro vaccination and can’t wait to get mine. Vaccination is sexy. Vaccination means we can all go back to concerts, and if we all do it, we can even go back to concerts while being ethical about it. Isn’t that nice.

[thorne93]

Unforeseen Chasm (Part 2)

Prompt: Two sisters fall for men that are absolute enemies. The love they have could tear all of them apart, or it could bring them together.

Word Count: 3284

Warnings: Language,

Note: This is by far the longest thing I’ve ever written (including my novels). It’s a collaboration with the amazing @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo. It started as a funny “What if…?” and it evolved and got huge. This took two years to write. We are both proud and happy and we hope you enjoy it. It follows from Thor 1 to Endgame in the MCU. Some of the timelines may be off in order to fit certain people, and some characters may show up earlier or in different ways than they have in the movie. But for the most part, it follows the MCU. It also has a bit of crossover with some other Marvel characters throughout the story.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you dropped the man known a Thor off at the hospital, you all returned to your research trying to figure out just what the hell that was last night. What was the light? What was that funnel? What kind of tornado appears like that out of nowhere? 

“Jane,” you said, looking at the pictures, “does something seem off to you here?” you asked, holding a photo up. 

“Yeah… Where’s Ursa Minor?” she asked.

“My thoughts exactly. We better show Selvig.”

And so you did. You showed him all the oddities from last night, when Darcy noticed that Thor was actually inside the weird event. A few photos were taken and a silhouette of a man was inside of the cloud, that man had to be Thor, and he would have all the answers you needed. 

The four of you went back to the hospital, only to find that he'd broken out of his restraints. Feeling defeated, you went back to the car, where Jane hit him again with her car. He had come out of nowhere and she backed into him. 

“Jane, are you just determined to kill our only evidence?” you asked in a slightly irritated tone as you got out of the car.

“I’m not doing this on purpose!” she snapped back. 

You knelt beside him and examined him. “Are you okay?” you asked softly. 

He looked up at you and gave a slight frown. “Yes, I’m quite alright.”

“Good,” you kindly said. “Would you mind coming with us? We… want to talk to you,” you said, glancing to Jane who nodded, affirming your request. 

“As you wish.” 

With that, you and Erik helped him up, got him in the camper, and got him back to the lab.

All of you introduced yourselves while Jane got him some clothes he could wear instead of the hospital gown he was in. He went to change and you stared at him, not because he was muscular and attractive. You stared at him because of that familiar feeling you got when you were around him, and for some strange reason, you felt… better when you were near him. You felt energized, stronger, like you could take on the world. 

And although he seemed… not quite right, something was just too coincidental that his name was Thor and he knew of a Bifrost. Unless he was just entirely loony, and decided to take on that persona, he looked the part of Thor, and knew at least a few key things about a world in which it looked like he belonged. 

“This mortal form has grown weak. I need sustenance,” he suddenly said and you jumped up. 

“I could make you some food,” you offered. 

“What? No. He can eat some PopTarts,” Jane countered. “We need you to tell us what happened last night,” she instructed as Thor walked towards the kitchen. 

“Jane, please. Give him a few minutes. You’ve run him over twice and clearly he’s still a little dazed,” you pleaded.

“Fine, but I want answers,” she informed firmly before sitting down with the other two at the breakfast table. 

You walked over to the cabinet and pulled down some pop tarts and handed them to him. “Sorry about her, she can get a little… passionate when it comes to her work,” you said quietly as your eyes drifted to her. 

“What is this?” he asked, taking the box.

“Oh,” you said, laughing. “These are pop tarts. A breakfast food. Do they not have them where you’re from?” you asked, noting his accent. 

“No,” he informed.

“Ah, well all you do is--” you popped open the box, pulled out a silver package, ripped it open, and handed him a piece “--open the box, open the sleeve, and eat.”

He looked at it for a moment before shoving nearly the whole thing in his mouth. “I like this. This is good. More!” With that, he yanked the box from you, making you laugh. 

“Have them all if you want.”

After he downed the entire box, he informed you all he was still hungry so you went to a diner down the street. The entire time you sat there, all you could try and think of was where you’d seen him before, other than in the mythology books -- which, that couldn’t be real. Thor seemed to be intrigued by you too because he seemed to steal a couple of curious glances your way as well. 

As soon as Thor seemed to finally be full, he heard about the “satellite” wreckage that landed fifty miles west of town. Once he heard of it, he seemed hellbent on getting it. 

“It’s not what they say it is,” Thor insisted. 

“Well what is it?” you inquired.

“It’s Mjolnir, and it belongs to me. If you take me there right now, I will tell you all the answers you seek,” he promised and your heart swelled. 

“Jane!” you said, turning to her in joy. “Let’s go!”

“Can I have a word with you two?” Erik requested and you glanced back to Thor before walking a few feet away. “Please don’t do this.”

“Do what? Take him to see some wreckage? He’s promising us answers, Erik,” you stated, pleading. You couldn’t explain it, but Thor seemed sincere and kind, and all you wanted to do was help him. You didn’t get any sort of odd feelings from him.

“Do you hear yourself? Do you hear him? Thor? Bifrost? Mjolnir? It’s all stories, all tales I was told as a child. That’s all they are, are tales. He’s delusional and he’s dangerous.”

“We’re just giving him a lift to a crater site,” you insisted.

“Jane,” Selvig started, turning to her, trying to reason with her. “Please. Don’t. I don’t like the idea of this.”

Jane gave him a torn look before glancing at you with apology in her face. 

“Jane, no...No! Come on!” you pleaded but she just gave you a sympathetic look before telling Thor she couldn’t take him. 

“Then this is where we say goodbye,” he said before bowing, saying goodbye to you all and kissing Jane’s hand. His eyes lingered on you for a moment when he told you goodbye, but then started to walk off, but something about him retreating made you feel… sad, almost... homesick.

Just as you all began walking away, a truck with Jane’s equipment stopped right in front of you all. 

“Uh, Jane--”

“What?! Hey! That’s mine!” she shouted before the two of you took off running towards the lab. “What the hell is going on here?” Jane demanded as you stood beside her.

“Ms. Foster, I’m Agent Coulson, with SHIELD,” a man in a black suit stated and you recognized him. You’d seen him once before… hanging around Stark’s tower. 

“Is that supposed to mean something to me? You can’t do this!” Jane shouted as she tried desperately to grab at the things that were being taken.”

“Jane. Jane. This is a lot more serious than you realize. Let it go,” Selvig advised in a cautious voice, making your eyes scan the man and the other men in suits working diligently to clear all the work from the last several weeks. 

How could they do this? How could some company or government program just waltz into a private scientific lab and seize any data they see fit? Which reminded you… there was a recorder in your pocket from last night, a recorder in which you used all the time to take notes out loud to transcribe later for Jane. You thought better when you spoke. You subtly felt it to make sure it was still there, then rested your hand inside your jeans to keep it secure in your hand. 

“Let it go? Let it go? This is my life!”

“We’re here investigating a security threat. We need to appropriate your records and all your atmospheric data,” Coulson informed.

“By ‘appropriate’ do you mean ‘steal’?” Jane asked as she followed the men to a van where they were loading the last bit of your things. 

“How can you do this?” you asked in an oddly calm voice, sadness tinging every word as you looked at the man in the suit. 

“Here. This should more than compensate you for your trouble,” he tried, handing Jane a check. 

“I can’t just buy replacements at RadioShack! I made most of this equipment myself!”

“Then I’m sure you can do it again.”

“And I’m sure I can sue you for violating my constitutional rights!” Jane yelled. 

“I’m sorry, Ms. Foster, but we’re the good guys.”

“So are we! I’m on the verge of understanding something extraordinary. And everything I know about this phenomenon is either in this lab or in this book and you can’t just take this with--”

At that, another man in a suit grabbed Jane’s prized journal and tossed it in the van and closed the doors.

“Hey!” she said and you held her back. 

“Jane,” you tried. 

“Thank you for your cooperation,” he said before disappearing around the side of the van, making you feel hollow. Weeks of research. Weeks of work. Hours upon hours of math -- gone. How could the world be so cruel? At this point you weren’t sure what to do. The ethical thing would be to stay with Jane and help her rebuild her research, but you needed funding. Maybe some labs back in NYC would have an opening. Maybe Tony would take pity on you and -- 

Your phone began ringing and you stepped away to answer it. 

“Hey, Shannon, could we talk later? I’m kind of in the middle of something…”

“Yeah, so am I,” she said with a knowing tone. “It’s called being in your city, well, town. You can’t call this a city.”

Your eyes lit up and some form of warmth refilled your body. Between saying goodbye to the strange Thor and losing your work, you needed something like this. You looked out of the wide windows of the lab into the streets of the town, expecting to see Shannon just standing there.

“You are? Where?” 

“I’m on my way back into town, actually,” she corrected. “Wanna get some coffee?”

“Of course,” you said. “Meet me at Izzy’s Diner.”

You grabbed your purse and told the three researchers you’d be back. You left the lab like your heels were on fire and skated into the diner. You ordered a coffee and a plate of toast. About ten minutes later, Shannon emerged and a giant grin grew on your face. Within an instant you jumped up and wrapped her in a tight embrace, really needing your best friend. 

“So what the hell are you doing here?’ you asked quickly, and excitedly, with a dash of strong curiosity. 

“Did you hear about that satellite crash? About fifty miles west?” she asked, leaning forward on her arms.

“Yeah, kinda,” you said. 

“It’s not a satellite. But anyway, Tony wanted me to investigate. Grab some readings off of it, so we can study it. I got there early this morning got my data, and then the SHIELD goons showed up, so I hightailed it. I pretended I was a tourist. Tony gave me this nifty watch that lets you read from a distance of 100 feet." She went to show you the tool but you shook your head and lowered her hand.

"That's great, but...SHIELD showed up and took all of our data."

"All of it?" she asked, shocked.

"Every bit. Just now. We saw them load it and haul it away," you noted, the sorrow in your voice not hidden as your eyes dropped to your plate.

Shannon sank back in her chair. "That's a bummer. I was going to ask you if you had anything I could bring Tony. I knew you were working in that area. I was hoping you had swiped some info."

"I've got something small but... not here," you said, glancing around.

"Right." She nodded.

"So how is Tony?" you wondered, wanting to get your mind off the bad events.

"He's... you know... Tony," she said with a laugh, that made you want to return the laugh.

"So he's still a stubborn, egotistical, asshole, genius?" you inquired.

"Bingo."

"And has that asshole-genius asked you out yet?" you asked with a quirk of your eyebrow.

"What? No," she responded, blushing, covering part of her face with her hand as if Tony were in the room now and could hear. "We aren't like that, okay? He doesn't like me like that."

You let out a loud, short laugh. "Oh my god, Shannon. You can bullshit Stark all you want, but me? No. You know damned well that I know how you feel about him."

"Yeah, well that doesn't change the fact that he doesn't like me," she quipped in a whisper.

"It does, because I know he does."

"Oh, and where is your proof?" she asked with a playful mocking face. "Hmm? Please, paint me a picture of how Tony Stark wants to be with his lab assistant."

"The way he looks at you," you said point blank, your tone making it clear it was obvious to everyone. "The fact that he made you lead lab director."

"That's qualifications, Y/N."

"He could've put you on bigger projects. Projects that don't take place inside Stark Tower? Projects that are all over the globe? but what does he do? He sticks you in the same floor, the same main room he works in."

"We are not discussing this," she said firmly, her cheeks getting redder.

"Why not?! He's into you! You should just ask him!"

"I'm not going to ask my boss if he's harboring feelings for me!" she whisper-shouted.

You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms.

"Well if you won't be reasonable, then maybe you'll listen to something crazy."

You launched into how you met Thor and everything he was saying, and you how believed he was telling the truth.

"Wait, let me get this straight. Jane runs over a guy with the research van, and you think he's some Norse God reborn?"

You shook your head. "No, I think he is the Thor. I think he is very old and very powerful."

"What makes you think that? He probably read the same books you did in college but he took them a little too far," she noted.

"No, I'm telling you, Shannon. He talks about this like it's his home. He talks so comfortably about it as if I were to say 'Hand me your phone' or 'Get in the car.'"

"Okay so he's been crazy a long time. Since when do you defy logic and reason?" she challenged, wondering why you were believing a man who was probably insane.

To be honest, you knew how it sounded. You'd been dwelling on it all day since he said his name was Thor last night. But there were too many coincidences for this not to be something weird.

"Since Newton was called crazy, since Einstein was ridiculed, since Copernicus was railroaded."

Shannon started to roll her eyes but you pressed on.

"Come on, you have to admit, it's pretty weird that the night he shows up in the middle of the desert, some weird 'thing' crashed nearby. You saw it, did it look like a hammer?"

She seemed to stall, which meant you were right.

"Well... yeah, but that doesn't mean--"

"Aha! See? I'm telling you... This is the real deal."

"I think you studied that crap too much that you forgot what's real and not real," she muttered.

"Shannon, science is always telling us to broaden our minds, our thinking, our understanding. We've all agreed that it would be wildly arrogant to assume we're alone in the cosmos, why is this any different?"

“Because it’s insane,” she stressed. “You’re talking about magic and realms and teleportation devices.”

“Yes, but thirty years ago nearly all of Tony's inventions would've been called impossible. And now look where he is! Look where science has brought us.”

“Okay, and what if what you’re saying is true? What are you going to do?” she pressed. “You gonna tell everyone? You gonna ask him to take you back with him?"

A small sparkle twinkled in your eye before Shannon began going, "No. Oh no. I know that look. No! Are you mad?"

"Possibly," you said, tilting your head to the side. "But what do I have to lose? I just lost all of my most recent work, he didn't threaten me. The least I can do is ask!"

"Y/N! Y/N!" she shouted as you got up from the table, throwing some cash down and making your way outside. "This is crazy. You don't even know where to find him!"

"Can't be hard in a population of five," you muttered, looking around for him on the street. "I need a car. Dammit. Give me your car," you instructed. "We'll take him.”

“I’m not so sure I want some homeless crazy dude in my car,” she stated as the two of you walked down mainstreet. 

“Please? We’re just taking him to that hammer. He said earlier he would tell us information. This way we both get what we want. I can see if he’s telling the truth and you get more data for your boy toy.” You flashed a cheeky grin and began walking again.

“He is not my b-- Ugh! Fine. Only because I love you and I want to prove to you that Norse Mythology is just that -- myth. Something made up for children or for primitive beings with primitive gods.”

“I don’t care what your reasons are so long as you take us,” you said with a smile. Just as you said that, you found Thor inside a pet store. It seemed easy to find him, almost like… Almost like he was a beacon to you. Without even seeing him, you were drawn to him. 

You texted Jane and told her where you were going and she said she wanted to take you all, to come along. So, instead of taking the fancy ass car Tony bought Shannon, you took the broken down camper. Jane and Thor sat up front, chatting a bit while you and Shannon caught up some more. You introduced the two of them and set off. 

Eventually, talk turned to Thor and his life. 

“You’re brave to do this, you all are,” he noted.

“I’m just trying to find answers,” you stated honestly. 

“Yes, it seems we all are. But you three maidens seem to be rather clever in this realm. Much like my friends back home,” he said with a fond smile. 

“Maidens? Realm?” Jane asked, her voice saturated with amusement and confusion.

“You think me strange?” 

“Yeah, I do.”

“Good strange or bad strange?”

“I’m not quite sure yet… I’m sorry but, who are you? Really?” Jane pressed. 

“You’ll see soon enough.”

“You promised us answers,” she reminded.

“What you seek, it’s a bridge,” he started. 

“Like an Einstein Rosen bridge?” she asked, excitement in her voice, meanwhile you began to tingle all over. 

“More like a rainbow bridge.”

“A rainbow bridge… like… Like in Asgard?” you questioned.

Thor turned around to try to face you better from his position in the passenger seat. “Yes, exactly. I thought Midgardians didn’t know anything about us.”

“I… I studied your… culture.”

“She means,” Shannon started, “that she studied mythology that happens to sound like where you came from but I’m sure it’s just a coincidence,” she said with a pointed look. 

You gave her a look back, before the four of you settled in for the rest of the drive. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List:

@essie1876

@magpiegirl80

@letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked

@iamwarrenspeace

@marvel-imagines-yes-please

@superwholocked527

@missinstantgratification

@thejemersoninferno

@rda1989

@munlis

@thefridgeismybestie

@bubblyanarocks3

@igiveupicantthinkofausername

@kaliforniacoastalteens

@feelmyroarrrr

@kaeling

@friendlyneighbourhoodweirdo​

@damalseer​

@heyitscam99​

@yknott81​

@sorryimacrapwriter​

@glitterquadricorn​

@xxqueenofisolationxx

@little-dis-kaalista-pythonissama

@bittersweetunicorm​

@alyssaj23​

@sea040561​

@princess76179​

@thisismysecrethappyplace​

@sarahp879​

@malfoysqueen14​

@ellallheart​

@breezy1415​

@marvelmayo​

@random-fluffy-pink-unicorn

@cocosierra94

@hardcollectionworldtrash

@capsmuscles

@marvelloushamilton

Loki:

@lostinspace33​

@ultrarebelheart​

@lenawiinchester​

@esoltis280​

@tngrayson​

@wangdeasang​

@harrymewmew

@jayfantasyatyourservice​

[anangelicday-mrwolf]

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 44 – The Story Unbeknownst

“Welcome back. And thanks. We owe you so... Miss Lunark?”

Tao beckoned Lunark; he was outside, having watched the four teenagers leaving less than a minute ago.

He raised his arm halfway before he froze awkwardly, upon checking the composition of her face.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen at the KSA?”

“Oh, yes. Something did happen – something far from small. And for your information, this has nothing to do with the fact that you made me your substitute.”

Lunark foresaw what Tao will first and foremost forecast and barricaded his apology.

“Is everyone home now? I reckon this is something I gotta share with all of you.”

She directed her eyes towards Frankenstein’s house as she spoke.

Tao instantly understood what she was implying and in return nodded as he turned.

“This way, please. And I’m sorry, but could you please give Takio a few moments? He has yet to come back, and...”

“Forget it.”

“Pardon?”

Tao for a moment was appalled by the apparent distaste she has come to harbor for one of the founding members of RK, probably because of his connection to Yuigi, but soon enough he was told wrong.

“We don’t have time to wait until he makes it back. Call him. Use the video call feature on your phone.”

“What? I-is it that serious?”

Lunark did not issue a reply for him.

Which was more than enough for him to fathom the magnitude of the situation; Tao promptly led the way for the werewolf warrior, thumbing through his phone to scroll down his recent call records.

*****

The gathering was held for the second time, featuring Tao, M-21, Raizel, and Takio through a video call.

It was revealed Takio was at the other safehouse under Frankenstein’s ownership.

Yuigi had been made homeless, with the previous safehouse no more. So he was helping her to move in to her new residence, as well as installing and auditing the variety of defense kits devised by Tao, in order to prevent anything reminiscent of Kornel’s visit from taking place.

He was finished with his task by the time Tao’s name popped up upon his phone screen, so he was currently standing atop an empty building on his way back home.

And this time they were occupying the underground lab, originally Frankenstein’s possession now passed on to Tao.

If it were not for the essence of the situation, Lunark would have been completely mesmerized by the touches and traces of Frankenstein flaunting themselves in his lab.

“I got the item from the KSA – Yuhyung’s USB containing a security program developed by the man himself, along with its upgrade version from their doctor. But of course, that’s not what I requested this meeting for. It’s the researcher we have to talk about.”

The moment Yuhyung’s name came up, all men’s eyes glinted with nervousness as they flickered over Lunark’s face.

Keeping her facial muscles in control, despite knowing it would be no use once she is done talking, Lunark pulled out from her head the conversation she had at KSA.

*****

“...That’s what he told you?”

“What? What is it?”

“We beg your pardon, but could you reiterate for us exactly what he told you?”

“Hmm... He said... ‘The shock I received was too severe for me to return to work. I was half-forced to take off work, and I could return after much time was spent.’”

Taesik’s and doctor’s expressions were intensified with anxiety as they met each other in the eyes, holding something somewhat different from useless concern.

What their pupils were hinting were not meaningless concern; it was untainted apprehension, close to fear.

“If there is something going on between you two, I’d really appreciate it if you could share with me. Whatever it is that you know about him, I’m obliged to learn. He’s not the only one affiliated with the QuadraNet project.”

Lunark’s words were inquisitive, not imperative or exclamatory.

Albeit she could not help emitting a splinter of annoyance, she had no intention of telling them off.

Nevertheless, Taesik and the doctor grew much smaller in presence, like brothers whose parents figured out at last what they had done wrong and kept as secret so far.

“Listen carefully, Miss Lunark. About the reason why Yuhyung took off work in the past... It wasn’t a vacation or anything of the sort.”

“What are you talking about?”

“At least on his dossier, it is described as personal vacation. And that’s what all personnel and staff of KSA think regarding his temporary leave.”

“Are you saying in reality, he was momentarily kicked out or something?”

“That was not what we had in mind, but... I guess he’d say that was the case. Because he left not because of the assault you mentioned.”

“Strictly speaking, that assault is not completely unrelated to this matter, but in reality there’s a difference. This is partially why we can’t stop asking you if Yuhyung has troubled you in any way.”

Taesik solemnly clasped his hands upon his desk, and the doctor wound up his arms behind his back as he stood beside his boss.

“Do you know what Yuhyung majored in during... I mean, do you know what he used to specialize in before joining us?”

The doctor unfolded for Lunark almost the exact same thing Sangin and Yeonsu relayed to Rael on his first encounter with Yuhyung.

The fact that prior to the job offer from the doctor himself, Yuhyung majored in Bio And Brain Engineering at KAIST.

The fact that 6 years have passed ever since, and he is now the lead technological assistant and one of the lead researchers of KSA, making majestic contributions to bioengineering studies and developments.

The fact that he is almost solely responsible for the studies associated with artificial intelligence and brain and neurology.

“He had made names for himself during his time at KAIST for his creative-slash-bizarre imaginations and suggestions. Some would dub them as innovative and original, while others would dub as unrealistic and preposterous.”

“Really? But wouldn’t your folks consider those handy? You’d need to take your perspectives and imaginations way over human boundaries to struggle and survive against a bunch of people with supernatural, superhuman technology and knowledge.”

“You’re right. And we wouldn’t have stayed on the edge of our seats if Yuhyung had... Kept his limits, to say. Ever since the assault you mentioned, he was basically a ball of glass on the tip of a sword.”

Once again came up the assault Lunark laid on Korea along with Zarga and 8th Elder; nonetheless, this time Lunark did not even flinch.

She was too curious about the contents and conclusion of this mystery to care.

“Just a few days afterwards, Yuhyung visited us in private, to make scandalous proposals.”

“He proposed that KSA accepts the Union way.”

“What’s that supposed to mean? Was he suggesting KSA should officially request Union to share its technology on body modification?”

“No. He meant it in a literal sense. He wanted us to adopt Union technology and methodology completely void of ethics or morals, treating humans as nothing more than shovels and garden trimmers in paving and shearing way towards goals.”

At this point, Lunark felt highly inclined to pause the current situation, to instead run over to Frankenstein’s house and book a full body exam on her auditory system.

She has witnessed countless examples of immorality and corruption throughout the past centuries. Even with such pre-exposure, she had been thoroughly disgusted at what Union could and would do.

And now that she has learned that the human so very timid and clumsy but meticulous and passionate in his job wanted his lot to copy and paste the Union’s manners, she felt positive that there must have been a mistake, much more strongly than she did with Adne’s potential betrayal.

Alas, just like with Adne, her suspicion was altogether blown away by Taesik and the doctor.

“After the assault you referred to, Yuhyung came to us and said... He said even though Korea’s history on modified humans is short, especially with Union watching, this was not supposed to happen. He said he couldn’t take that Korea’s modified humans could do nothing to defend their motherland, leaving everything to the modified humans in the ex-chairman’s team and creatures outside human classification. Which gave him nightmarish despair, making him question KSA’s existence and the purpose of studying body modification.”

“I remember how he appeared more agitated than usual. However, the sense of guilt, insecurity, and helplessness seething from his every vowel and consonant were neither exaggerated nor feigned.”

“And he urged us to remove all cautions and limits in studies, claiming that since our technology is an imitation of Union’s arts, there’s no reason for us to leave their ideology unimitated. He claimed that if we stick to rules unlike the Union, we will make no progress at all.”

“He even insisted on making it mandatory for incoming agents to go through body modification.”

Lunark could not even feel her lips parting. She was too busy suspecting whether the one they were designating was really Yuhyung Jang.

“Make body modification mandatory? That’s exactly the kind of thing Union would do, but not even Union went that far. Not that the Union kept the final line uncrossed – it was simply because their system did not need all of its human resources to pay at least one visit to the lab tank.”

“Is that so? Anyhow, this was what he had in mind – we are undoubtedly short of data on body modification, so reserving for ourselves more trials and errors in body modification would lead to natural collection of data, which will ultimately lead to progress.”

“Both of us vetoed the idea. No, there was no need to veto it. We never took into account his idea in the first place. I mean, force body modification? That’s just plain wrong.”

“Moreover, something was not right with Yuhyung back then. His mouth spoke of KSA’s progress, but his eyes were...”

Taesik and the doctor shuddered as they brought up the memories of the day.

“His eyes were shrieking vengeance and insecurity.”

“So the director gave him vacation, just to force him away from his lab. We figured we had to do something to separate his mind from such unreasonable thought.”

“Once he was back, he began to sort out and discard all his studies and creations on body modification, to instead shift his attention to artificial intelligence. So we figured he has come to his senses.”

“But listening to you, perhaps we were told wrong. Or are we being delusional here?”

Taesik and doctor stared at Lunark, as if imploring her to tell them they are being delusional.

But of course, she could not meet their demands.

*****

Tao, M-21, Raizel, and Takio beyond the phone could not even bat an eye, their bodies now entirely taken over by the danger alert that was growing increasingly cacophonous as they were listening.

The fact that the man of their interest did not outright deceive them but nevertheless led them to believe otherwise regarding the reason why he had to leave his job.

The revelation on his standing as a researcher, close to that of a mad scientist.

His specialization on artificial intelligence and brain, which ominously stood out for them as of now.

The raid by weapons against heads of noble clans that Rael and wolfkind suffered nearby Lukedonia and in their front lawn, respectively.

And the exhibition of changes in the weapons, indicated by the fact that they could now interact with each other and exercise strategies during battles.

For some very strange reason, it fatally dawned upon them that there must be a missing link in all of these.

However, none of them voiced their suspicion.

Things happened, but there was no evidence, material or immaterial.

More importantly, they knew that if they are to even pretend to point it out, the dam that has been remaining firm would finally break down, to result in something irreversible, inevitable.

“Now it’s your turn.”

“Uh... Sorry?”

“You said that something came up after hearing what I had, so you had to look into it. Doesn’t that mean now you have something new to tell me?”

“Uh... Uh, right!”

Tao spun in his seat, to race his chair towards the humongous desk plastered with a bunch of screens.

The rest followed suit, and Tao began to speak as he let his fingers dance.

(next chapter)

That’s right - Yuhyung had a secret. And guess what - there’s plenty more where that came from XD For now I don’t want to provide too much details about his past, as I do not want to spoil my own fic. Please stay tuned to find out more about Yuhyung!

[kisskissbanggang]

I just woke up from a nap and let me say—political android Jaehyun is a crazy idea. In my dream he killed my coworkers in a planned destruction of scientific data, but got scared of himself and was hiding in my office so I went back 3 days later to go recover what I could and poor boy was scanning and reprinting all the data he destroyed because he felt bad so I brought him into my home and recovered the data with him and then his ai was great but I didn’t know that yet (part 1)

Move along, nothing to see here unless you want to see Lexi’s incredible nap-dream play out and then me screaming about it. 💕

I was just being me, nice to robots, but I started to do more research on the ai his model had, and had him destroy my search histories and found out that I could remove his “person chip” so he could go back to work and have most of his memories that were positive wiped so he was able to continue his government work while he was feeding me information, and the government found out I didn’t die so I lied and faked my support of their actions and they brought me into the ranks (part 2)

But he still preferred to come to my place most nights so I would replace his person chip when he came into my home and we became friends and he expressed that he always wanted to know about human feelings like having parents and pets and falling in love so one night I asked him if he wanted to lay in my bed with my cat since she’d gotten used to him being around and so he laid in my bed and was all stiff and didn’t know what to do because inexperienced robot (part 3)

And he asked what cuddling was like but he was all stiff so I resituated his body to be okay for cuddling and snuggled him and told him to research “body language” and 2 minutes later he moved himself again and wrapped his arms around me because he learned about body language and I kept telling him keywords to research about intimate human interaction and interacting with pets until I fell asleep in his arms and when I woke up (part 4)

He was in my kitchen with breakfast prepared waiting for me and sitting on my couch, petting my cat whom he befriended overnight 😂 and we watched the news about the government again and he said to me “you don’t really like it do you” and I was engulfed in my eggs and said “no I love what you cooked but fuck that guy” at [insert gov official here] and he said “how come you work for them now” and i said “I need a job because my other one was destroyed” and he got all glum looking (part 5)

And he said “I didn’t want to do it, but they decide my actions when I’m in uniform” and I said “I know I don’t blame you for what they make you do” and he said “How can I learn about them to decide if I like them or not?” And I gave him keywords about the government to research and he came back and said “oh those conspiracies are true I saw it with my own eyes” and I said “well shit then I hate them even more” and he asked about keywords to learn about morality (part 6)

And he ended up mentioning his creator and I remembered learning about how that guy was murdered by his creation (Jaehyun) because the government made him, but that that creator always created both the most powerful androids but also the most ethical and I asked him if it was true and he said it was true and that he regrets his actions everyday and that’s why he wouldn’t ever hurt me. He talked about how mean the gov was to him and how I was the only nice person he knew since his creator(part 7)

And it became this cute thing in the mornings, I’d take out his person chip while I adjusted his collar similar to a spouse putting on a tie and he’d go off to work before me and then I’d go off to work and get back before him so when he’d come home I’d loosen up his shirt and put his person chip back in and he’d turn back into a docile friend and one day we ended up “meeting” at work because I reached a higher rank and we had to pretend we didn’t know each other (part 8)

But as time went on the government was still shitty and made him do not great things and my job got slightly less ethical as days passed but I was getting paid a lot more and Jaehyun told me about the plans to destroy the low income neighborhood I lived in to remove those people from the planet and make everyone else there homeless so I took a personal leave from work to both move and also warn everyone there (20% of them outright believed me—they thought I was a crazed scientist) (part 9)

But I moved into a nicer area that wasn’t getting destroyed and that neighborhood was destroyed but only 5 people died, but that was because they thought they could take on the android, but also one elderly lady never made it out even though my neighbor promised to get her out so I was devastated about her loss, Jaehyun could tell something was off and did research on the event and learned about the old lady’s death (who he killed ofc) and felt sadness for the first time in his life (part 10)

Eventually I’m to the point at work where my creation is being tested so I’m told to move back home to be safe and they’d give me a retirement for my work (I guess I lived on the east coast) but couldn’t take a plane because of Jaehyun so we were road tripping all the way back to North Dakota which Jaehyun loved because he never had to pee and could use the AC adapter in my car to top off his charge. He was a great GPS though (part 20)

But because of the global warming and regulations you could only drive 250 miles a day so we had to stop a lot and ended up at a lot of motels so they wouldn’t ask questions about my other guest since he had minimal ID and was theoretically meant to stay on the east coast and never move. And we ended up at this janky place and it spooked me out so Jaehyun actually laid with me again that night instead of just sitting at the desk charging like he did at other places (part 21)

And my car had issues so we ended up having to stay at that place a couple of nights but it was still v scary for me. We ended up going to a saloon near the motel for me to get food, Jaehyun came with because spooked) and they were having a dance night and Jaehyun had never danced before so I decided to teach him and he was having a great time and suddenly a slow song came on and I was so focused on teaching him how to slow dance that I didn’t notice how he was looking at me (part 22)

And so I finally feel like he’s got the footwork down and the song is half done and I look up at him and he leans down to kiss me and his dumb android lips are too great and part of me is revolted because I’m kissing a robot but also part of me loves Jaehyun more than I could ever love anyone I’d ever met because of his innocence and good morals and when he pulls away he looks shocked and he said “I just wanted to copy the movies I didn’t know I could feel that” and I laughed at him (part 23)

And when we got back to the motel and I’d washed up he was like “Can we do that again?” And it was the dumbest most cute thing ever and I sat on the bed with him standing in front of me, way too eager hoping I’d say yes and I nodded and he did a little dance before leaning back down to kiss me again and he kept going and eventually had my back on the bed with him over me, holding me as close to himself as he could and then the moment was ruined bc there was some guy rattling room doors (part 24)

I got spooked and Jaehyun guarded me with his body and the guy kept going and management called the room to apologize for the drunk guy who forgot his room # and I ended up just going to sleep. The next day my car was fixed and we were back on the road. Jaehyun kept touching his lips and opening his mouth to say something, but instead of speaking, he’d blush, look away, and close his mouth. He’d do this ad nauseum until I asked what he was thinking (part 25)

And he just asked “How do I know what love is?” And I choked on air, not expecting that question and I tried my best to describe it and gave up and said “You just know. You’d be devastated without them in your life and you enjoy being with them and you love all of their flaws.” And he asked if I loved Gladys and I said “Of course, platonically” and he asked the difference between platonic and romantic love and he said “I loved Gladys platonically too” (part 26)

I ended up going north to Wisconsin for some reason (I think there was a safety issue?) so it took a while to get anywhere but the day after we talked about love Jaehyun looks at me and says, “What if I think I romantically loved you?” And I pulled over, absolutely shocked by my own internal instinct to say “I love you too” and he looked at my face and sheepishly asked “So is now a good time to kiss again?” And we ended up making out on the side of the highway (part 27)

At that point in the dream it gets fuzzy, we get to the next motel, Jaehyun kisses me again, but puts his knee between my legs and when he moves and up moving against my groin and things escalated from there. The dream cuts to my parents meeting him and my dad having a weird vibe about him but not being sure what to think because the dogs think he’s cool. Piper bit his finger once and he didn’t flinch so my dad was like “????” But whatever he seemed like a nice boyfriend to me (part 28)

I end up telling my sister everything and my mom overheard the part about what my job was doing not about Jaehyun being a robot. My sister was understanding and my mom was worried about my work and told me that’s why she warned me about working at the Naval Academy. And between my sister, her husband, Jaehyun, and I, we came up with this plan to take over the government and it was crazy but Jaehyun had all the information to get into places since I backed him up (part 29)

Okay but OH MY GOD??? I CANNOT BELIEVE HOW INVESTED I ALSO JUST GOT IN YOUR NAP DREAM???????????? This had everything like it had stakes and drama and comedy and suspense and science and sex and what the hell it was a whole movie??? It was a whole miniseries??? ANDROID JAEHYUN WANTING TO LEARN WHAT LOVE IS WHAT AN IDEAAAA

I’ve said Android au’s are my jam I feel discombobulated in the best way this is like three different movies in one I’m still losing it BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP THINKING OF ANDROID JAEHYUN LOVING YOUR CAT HOLY SHIT