#It's like asking a spicy pepper how spicy something else is

[pastelaspirations]

...B r o, like, s h u t u p, you got the exact same sweetness level, you can't say c r a p-

Which fruit are you? Find out here!

Tagging: @actuallysaiyan @beneathstarryskies @akiraiscute @randoimago @multi-fandom-imagine @iambilliejeanok @icycoldninja @abellaheart-blog @terabyteturtle @philistiniphagottini

[shybluebirdninja]

Takeout Trauma

Summary: Logan orders food but can't understand the concept of “spicy” and now he's drinking milk straight from the carton.

Pairing            : Logan Howlett x Gf!Reader Note                : fluff

The smell of takeout fills the air—a mix of savory spices, fried goodness, and that unmistakable kick of heat. You’re sitting at the kitchen counter, casually scrolling on your phone, when you hear a low, irritated grumble from the other side of the room.

Logan’s standing by the fridge, his flannel sleeves rolled up to his elbows, revealing forearms that are probably a little too perfect for their own good. His jaw clenched, lips tight. He’s holding a takeout container in the other, glaring at it like it personally offended him.

“Babe,” you call out, raising an eyebrow, trying not to laugh. “Are you okay?”

Logan doesn’t respond at first. He just stands there, staring down at the now very suspicious-looking food on his plate. Steam rises lazily from it, the scent of peppers and something fiery hitting your nose even from across the room.

He finally moves, his shoulders tense, and with a growl, he slams the takeout container down on the counter with a heavy thunk.

“This—” he motions to the food like it's an enemy in a bar fight, “—is too damn spicy. What the hell is 'mild' supposed to mean if this burns like the damn sun?”

You stifle a laugh, biting your lip. “Didn’t they ask you if you wanted spicy?”

Logan glares at you, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Yeah, they did. And I said no. They asked if I wanted ‘mild.’ Thought that meant something normal. Not... this.” He gestures angrily to the food, nostrils flaring like he’s about to start a war with the takeout place.

Oh, yeah. He’s suffering.

You lean against the counter, folding your arms across your chest. “Well, babe, I told you before. Spicy food here isn’t like what you had back in the cabin. This is, like, next-level stuff.”

He lets out another frustrated grunt, wiping the back of his hand across his forehead. “It’s ridiculous. I’ve fought wars that were easier than this.”

You can’t help it anymore—you laugh, and Logan shoots you a look, but there’s a flicker of something in his eyes, something close to amusement. Still, he turns away from you, yanking open the fridge door with more force than necessary. The cold air hits him in the face, but it doesn’t seem to cool him off. He grabs the carton of milk, pops the cap, and without any hesitation, brings it straight to his lips.

You raise an eyebrow, watching as he guzzles down half the carton, milk dripping down his chin in the process. His Adam’s apple bobs with each swallow, and for a moment, you’re more distracted by that than anything else.

“Really?” you say, trying to sound exasperated but failing because you’re still half-laughing. “Drinking it straight from the carton?”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, still scowling, but you can see the corner of his lips twitching. “What? It’s milk. Does the trick.” He slams the carton back in the fridge, letting the door close with a solid thud.

You shake your head, walking around him to inspect the food on the counter. The takeout container is practically glowing with how much red pepper oil is slicked across it.

“This,” you say, poking at it with a fork, “is what happens when you think you can handle the spice.”

Logan grunts, stepping closer to you. His hands rest on the counter on either side of you, effectively trapping you between him and the plate of dangerous food.

“It wasn’t marked like that on the menu,” he mutters, his voice low, like he’s trying to justify the whole situation. “False advertising.”

You tilt your head back to look at him, grinning. “You’re just mad because food kicked your ass for once.”

Logan’s eyes darken, and he leans in just slightly, his breath warm against your neck. “Keep talkin’, darlin’. You’re gonna end up eating this stuff just to prove a point.”

You laugh, pushing against his chest playfully. “I’m not the one trying to win a food fight, babe. But seriously, next time, just ask for plain. Or, you know, let me order. I’ve mastered the art of not burning my face off.”

He straightens up, crossing his arms, and the look he gives you is pure Logan—half-annoyed, half-amused, but mostly trying not to laugh at himself.

“I can handle my food,” he insists, but there’s no real conviction in his voice.

You arch an eyebrow. “Clearly.”

You turn to grab your own takeout container from the counter, opening it carefully and taking a small bite. It’s perfect—just the right amount of spice. The food’s warm, savory, and doesn’t set your mouth on fire.

 “How’s yours?” he asks, but you can see the wheels turning in his head.

“It’s great,” you say casually, popping another bite in your mouth. “Not too spicy.”

Logan stares at you for a beat, then sighs, his shoulders dropping in defeat. “Swap with me.”

You laugh, holding your container out to him. “Admitting defeat?”

“Call it what you want,” he grumbles, grabbing your container and handing you his. “But I ain’t about to waste perfectly good food.”

You take his container gingerly, half-expecting it to burn your fingers just from the heat. “You sure you don’t want me to grab you another drink?” you tease, watching as he digs into your much milder meal.

Logan shrugs, chewing thoughtfully. “Nah,” he says after a moment, wiping his mouth with his hand. “This is better. But next time, babe, you’re ordering.”

You grin, leaning into him. “Deal. But, babe?”

He looks down at you, raising an eyebrow.

“You might wanna clean up the milk you spilled everywhere.”

[blueberrypancakesworld]

Milky bath with flowers

Geta/Caracalla/Marcus x wife!reader

warning : fluff, kisses, bath toys in ancient rome (no spicy ones sorry), characters were written before the movie came out

Summary : Emperors and generals went bathing like everyone else in Rome. Maybe not on public baths or in pools, but rather in private pavements with pretty marble floors and statues of gods. But when your beloved wife has already claimed the bath, some things go differently than simply washing.

info : yes the second work to the three and i thought to myself while showering hey why not do something like this so here it is and enjoy reading :)

masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marcus

His body was always covered in dirt, the dusty ground from the campaigns, dried blood on his hands armor and face and sand in his washed hair after weeks and months on the return journey.

So it was all the better not only to finally be able to take off the few washes with bowls and cloths, but to wash himself completely in the large bath.

Unbeknownst to him, there was already someone in the large room, someone who was closest to his heart, the reason why he prayed to the gods that he would come back to her from every fight.

Warm pleasant water surrounded her, flowers in various colors floated around her and spread an ethereal pleasant smell, the water with milk added creating an unnatural yet pleasant water color following the example of Cleopatra.

Until her eyes settled on her husband a simple cloth tied around his hips a body of fine devinietren muscles, scars and slight injuries, dark hair a mix of dark pepper and salt when she looked at the strands a pretty sign of his aging. ,,A mermaid has strayed into the water, what am I doing?" his question echoed lightly in the large room and a smirk came to her lips as he slowly climbed into the water before placing the towel on the edge and swimming over to her.

Steam rose from the water as new wood was added under the fixture to make it more comfortable for the reigns, ,,What could you do, my dear General? A kiss as a sign of your devotion," she suggested and her hands placed themselves on his upper body, feeling the muscles, the strength and willpower that dwelled within him.

She heard his slight smile as she ran her hands over the various scars, smaller and larger, before he took her hands in his rough hands and moved them down her arms to her hips, ,,If it's a kiss you want, you should have one," he replied before he smiled and complied with her request for a devoted kiss.

She let herself fall easily into his arms knowing he was holding her, but she could still feel his almost proud grin, they were both proud of each other. She knew she was his heart she was his life the reason he came back every time and he knew she was his haven when he was haunted by nightmares of battle when the uncertainty of sleep threatened to take him over she was always there for him.

Before he broke away and his fingers stroked her cheek, ,,I have the prettiest mermaid for a wife, she has stolen my heart." From time to time he enjoyed her flattering look, her gaze was followed by a kiss and she splashed him with water.

But Marcus had other plans for her to swim to the edge, he took the soft sponge and indicated for her to sit on the stairs, ,,My dear husband is aware that I am no longer a child?" she asked as he placed the sponge on her leg and held it while she relaxed.

Despite his rough exterior, killing people to win and using swords better than anyone else, he was extremely gentle. He knew exactly how hard he had to wipe the sponge over her skin, how pleasant he made it for her and left kisses on her skin when it was a little too hard.

The divine sight of her wet hair, the individual drops of water that slid over her naked body and the flowers that surrounded her did everything for Marcus. ,,I am aware of that, my heart, but let me be your humble servant," he replied, a smile creeping onto his lips and she let a hand wander over his curls, which had grown a little longer since the last time. Before she let him go on, her sigh of pleasure came over her lips every now and then as he massaged her muscles and kissed her body.

The conversations of simple business to new home furnishings were interrupted every now and then by touches and kisses as they enjoyed the bath, enjoyed each other and the blossoms of love continued to float around the roses long after they had left the bath hand in hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Geta

An emperor did not dirty his hands, never would a man of his status, his stature, his influence soil his own hands with blood. Giving orders and passing judgment was more what he did and yet Geta also had to take a bath in the large extra area of the palace, a bathing area, an area full of baths, full of exotic plants with statues of gods, statues of him and his brothers in various poses and a statue clad in gold of his wife the Empress of Rome the most desirable of all the beautiful beauties the empire had to offer.

But above all she belonged to him and whenever the golden sun went down in the evening, Rome slowly lay down and ate his dinner, Geta found himself in the large bathing area, a simple tunic wrapped around his body, but as he moved towards the large pool he saw that someone was making the water move.

A body, a body familiar to him was in his bath if it was his brother they would have argued enruet but instead a satisfied look settled on his bright eyes. ,,My empress takes a bath without me and doesn't even invite me in, how disobedient,” his voice rang out and she turned to him, startled that someone had come in, as no one else was allowed in except the emperor himself and she relaxed again.

Swimming over to him, she saw him take off his clothes and come to her, a familiar sight swimming towards her after he had been submerged once, his white face make-up running and the black around his eyes making it look like another mask before he wiped it away.

,,I hope my Emperor can forgive me…I was afraid for a moment that it was your brother and I would have to call you,” she admitted and felt his hand move up her thigh, soft skin smooth through the milky water with yellowish and white daffodils specially grown for the Empress, her favorite flowers.

She saw him roll his eyes, he was hardly ever on speaking terms with his elder brother Caracalla but it flattered him when she admitted that her husband was her salvation.

Simple flattery between them but you had to keep an emperor of the world happy in one way or another. ,,You are forgiven and you must be unconcerned only the two of us are here,” the blond murmured and she felt his fingers go up further, a smug expression as he ignored her midsection and instead ran his fingers over her lips before engaging her in a kiss.

Greedily, he took her lips, rasped her words and the two bodies drifted lightly against each other through the water, lightly pushing aside the flowers and coming to rest at the edge of the pool.

His lips broke away from hers, but his hands remained on her body, running down her cheek to her neck, seeming to enjoy her steady pulse, ,,I'm always soothed when you're with me, my love,” she assured him, stroking his curly blonde hair, feeling him nuzzle his head against her hand for a moment and knowing that he enjoyed it when she played with his curls.

Especially when they lay together in the big four-poster bed after a bath a few hours later and he put his hands around her and didn't let go while she ran her hands through his hair until he fell asleep.

The quiet moment pleasant between them was the excitement of the Colosseum behind them both, his excitement was so much enjoyed that Rome's fate lay on his and his brother's shoulders, war had to be fought and a kingdom had to be preserved.

It was all the nicer when they could spend their time together in the evening, ,,The fight today I think the wagering was unpleasant” he joked and told her about the rumors and gossip of the senate as his fingers casually wandered into her hair and he took out the hairpin and her hair now touched the water.

During the day she always had it up because of the sun and heat to avoid sweating even more, but in the bath she had actually known to apply a special tincture that shouldn't get wet until it was absorbed, but now she could forget about it. ,,You're even prettier this way,” he said and ran his hand over her strand of hair, playing with it by wrapping the long needle around it and watching the water drip down it while her hand played with his curls from time to time.

It was a slow evening, an evening in which she let him talk, enjoyed the little games and massages between them, the kisses he initiated and was grateful that he had had her warm bathrobe brought so that they arrived in bed together warmed up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Caracalla

Geta's older brother, Caracalla, was a young man who, even though he was the most powerful of the current world, had completely different interests. He was not concerned with the people, the war was an amusement for him and victories were a matter of course.

No, what mattered to him was his amusement and that he wasn't bored because there was nothing worse than being bored, a wlet's existence in a long world was bad because he was always looking for entertainment.

Not only in his beloved wife, the Empress of Rome, his love and his everything and this entertainment, this amusement, was also part of his life and, as on this evening, also in the large bath which was also in the emperor's palace. The bath was specially equipped for him with beautiful ornaments and decorations a favorite gods and past people so that his imagination was stimulated, including a statue of his wife in a godly disguise.

But that's not why he ran into the bath with his things in his arms - on the contrary, he gripped the wood in his arms tightly and looked from afar at the naked person in the large basin. ,,Attention! The fleet is attacking!” he shouted and heard the surprised sound of his wife before he landed in the water and the wooden toys scattered on the water and individual flowers almost threatened to drown.

Colorful flowers that resembled a rainbow many colors were his wife's favorite even though he preferred blood red he liked her devotion to color.

After hastily emerging, he laughed when he saw that his waves from the jump had completely overwhelmed her and she brushed the strands of hair from her face, ,,A surprise attack is not a bad tactic,” she admitted before she lunged and splashed water at him, causing his make-up to melt and him to spit water.

The two young adults could be heard laughing as she swam closer to him and fished the sponge out of the water she had been using just minutes before and began wiping the makeup off his face while his jittery fingers ran over her body.

From light tickling movements that made her grin to something lewd, she felt him run his hands over her chest to get a reaction from her, always watching what she did, how her gaze changed, whether her lips moved up or down, and especially whether she did the same.

,,My battle emperor forgets I'm busy, doesn't he?” she murmured and rubbed a little harder over his cheek to get the last of the white face make-up off, which he answered with a shrug and a playful dive. She rolled her eyes and still kept an eye out for him, she liked his playful manner and knew that sometimes he was just a bit more playful than his brother, but still the co-emperor of rome.

She had respect for him, but just as often she had to stand up for him when Geta went too far with his sayings and especially his looks and actions, which made those moments of peace and togetherness all the more important. ,,A bestial water creature under me, what am I supposed to do?” she asked loud enough for him to understand and let out a laugh as she felt him dive under her and throw her up very lightly, landing in the water again.

Once again the flowers floated everywhere and the wooden figures sloshed their own way as Caracalla took her hand and gave it a gentle kiss, ,,Forgive me my beloved but this creature is now defeated,” he chuckled and she ran her hand over his blond hair before kissing him on the forehead and taking one of the wooden figures.

It was actually a toy for children, for the future heir of Rome, but Caracalla still enjoyed it and she steered one of the ships towards him while he took one of the catapults and placed a rose on it, ,,And sunk!” he exclaimed, and the blast flew through the air and hit her ship with pinpoint accuracy, sinking it.

They fought a toy battle over several waves and waves until there were hardly any flowers left in the water as they were all shot out of the water and she saw that Caracalla was getting bored again.

Which is why she grabbed the warm tunics and decided to play a different kind of game, a game that could last all night and that she would never get tired of and that the bath would only be the beginning of a battle-filled devotion, that much they both knew when their lips found each other again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[mischievousmoony]

𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚎

𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟸 ⟡ 𝚓𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚜' 𝚐𝚒𝚛𝚕

⟢ james potter x fem!reader

⟢ summary: modern restaurant au; after training with james for a few weeks, people have started calling you his . ݁₊ ⊹ . ݁˖ . ݁1.3k

⟢ warnings/tags: coworker!james, coworker!marauders, slightly anxious!reader, not proofread

⟢ the new hire masterlist ⟡ main masterlist

note: i hate seafood but i keep putting it on my fictional restaurants menu ? kept this one pretty simple so i could get it out there <3

"Crab cakes, go." James says, eyes darting up from the menu he's holding to look at you from across the rickety staff room table.

You don't miss a beat, describing the dish as you would to a customer, "The crab cakes are one of our most popular appetizers. They're pan seared and served with sofrito escabeche, a zesty blend of onions, bell peppers, and tomatoes—so I highly recommend them if you're looking for something tangy—and they have a to die for berbere aioli drizzle."

"Tell me more about the berbere aioli. What is that?" James questions, playing the part of a curious customer.

"The berbere aioli is a spicy-chili sauce that I'd say is just shy of medium in terms of spice level. It complements the crab cakes really well, but you could always order it on the side if you're not too sure about it."

"That's my girl," James praises, "You're a quick learner, you know that?"

"I don't know about that," you protest, looking down at your hands that lay politely folded on the table in front of you. You try to mentally will yourself not to blush at James' approval.

"It's barely over a week since you started and you know this thing like the back of your hand," James argues, gently tossing the menu down as he leans back in his chair, "And there's so little time to sit and study here."

You have a funny look on your face when you meet James' eyes again, eliciting a gasp from him.

"You've been studying the menu outside of work, haven't you?" he squints, speaking in an accusatory tone.

"Shouldn't I?" you ask, and the fact that it's a genuine question has James clutching his chest over his heart.

"No! You never think about work unless you're getting paid!"

"How else am I supposed to learn this whole menu in a timely manner?" you cross your arms defensively.

"Who said anything about a timely manner, Love. I was weeks out of training before I had the whole thing down."

"Yeah, well you're more..." you trail off, trying to find the words.

"More what?" James is quick to sound defensive.

You put your hands up as a sign of innocence, "Just laid back. You're a go with the flow kind of guy. As opposed to me, who's more-"

James interjects, "Stuck in your head," nodding along without a doubt that that's what you were going to say.

You look at James, a bit of surprise and alarm swirling around in the pit of your stomach. He was spot on, but how could he possibly be? He barely knows you, after all.

"What?" James seems to sense your confusion, "I've noticed the turmoil in those eyes of yours. You're doing it right now."

You look bashful, so James graciously changes the subject.

"Whatever, just promise me you won't ever think about this place when you're off the clock again!"

"Promise," you agree, despite his request being impossible.

For whatever reason, your mind seems to always be on work. Not even in a stressed, overthinking way like you'd expect from yourself. It seemed to be little random tidbits from work infiltrating your mind throughout your days. Like sometimes, you randomly think of a joke James said once. Or you see something funny and want to show it to him. Or you think about how nice James is when you mess something up.

Okay, maybe they're not so random after all.

"What're you thinking about?" James interrupts your thoughts.

Just as you're about to start stammering through an excuse, Mary pops her head into the room.

"There you guys are!" she says, "I just sat you guys. Table six."

"Thanks, Mary. We'll be right there." James responds.

"I had Peter bring them some waters because I couldn't find you guys for a while—oh, he's back today by the way, did you know?" Mary asks, but doesn't stick around for James to answer, "I have to get back. Table six, guys!" Her voice echoes the reminder as she's already disappeared from your sights.

James shakes his head at her, amused by the way she jumps from one thing to the next without taking a breath.

"Peter?" you question as you and James begin to stand from the table.

"Yeah, he does bussing and some food running, a helping hand for us servers, really. He was on vacation." James explains as you follow him out into the dining room.

Your eyes fall on table six, a table for two that beholds two kind looking older ladies.

"You think you can handle this?" James juts his chin in their direction.

"Yeah," you say confidently. You have already taken the lead on some tables while James supervised. So far, it's been going well. Your first table you had to ask James to help answer some questions—maybe that's why you wanted to learn the menu so quick, it made you feel sheepish—but after that one time, James hasn't had any notes.

"Alright, I'm gonna check on our other tables then."

"Wait," you gave yourself whiplash with the way you craned your neck swiftly to look at him, "You meant handle it alone?"

"Yeah," James looks down at you reassuringly, his eyes filled with warmth, "You can do it."

"Uhh-? No, what if I-"

"Get out of that pretty little head of yours," he interrupts, "You've got this."

The sincerity in his tone incited a bit of confidence in you.

"Okay, okay. Okay sure," your shaky voice became a little more steady with each word, and you started walking to the table.

"Wait!" James carefully takes hold of your wrist. The progress you had made in easing your nerves is out the window.

"You'll need this," James slides his server book out from his apron and held it out to you.

"Right," you say quietly, smiling as you took it from him.

His hand fell from your wrist as he bid you good luck. He watches you for a moment as you greet the table, a proud gleam in his eyes.

Marlene appears beside James, a tray of waters and soft drinks balancing on her palm, "Your girl's taking orders on her own now?"

"Just the one table for today," James replies.

Marlene hums approvingly and saunters off to deliver the drinks.

James registers her words only when she's already left, "Wait, my who now?" he asks the wall.

His furrowed brows relax as he decides he kind of likes the sound of it.

After checking on your other tables, getting refills and putting new food orders in, James notices a congregation of his coworkers at the host stand so he decides to join in.

"Who's that?" Peter asks, swinging a rag over his shoulder.

Lily follows Peter's gaze to you, who's delivering some bread and butter to table six.

"James' girl?" Lily questions, "She started last week, she's been doing pretty well so far I think."

"Any reason in particular we're calling her that?" James decides to ask on his approach, having heard that phrase twice in under ten minutes.

"Ah, well, she hardly talks to anyone else." Marlene drawls.

"Eh, she's just a bit skittish," James provides an excuse for you, "it's kind of cute."

Lily and Mary share a look.

James continues, "She'll get used to you guys soon enough, just be nice." He really only says the last part to Marlene.

"I am nice," she defends.

"Well, you're not mean," Mary offers and Marlene scowls at her.

James chuckles, and turns to Peter, "How 'ave you been, mate?"

Peter opens his mouth to share details of his vacation, but he's interrupted.

"What are you all doing up here?" Nate hisses, appearing suddenly as if out of thin air, "You know how bad it looks for nearly my entire staff to be slacking off in the front of the restaurant?"

Before anyone can disperse or defend themselves, Nate continues, "And you're supposed to be training, Potter. Where's your girl?"

"Me?" your choked voice rings from behind him.

Everyone peers over at you, standing there shellshocked and blushing with a pitcher of water in your hands.

[r0-boat]

Can I request a scenario with the WHB kings? (and any noble/s of your choice if you feel like it)

Them and gn!reader in a cramped space but reader is claustrophobic 🤔 it would've been a spicy scenario with them being smooshed together and all that but reader ain't having fun at all (possibly close to tears or already crying or panicking)

dropping by cuz it's been a while since i've shrimped around your ask box

- 🦐

This is like prime Levi shit...

Motherfucker would force you in his coffin to fuck you But this time we're taking a spin

Naga!whbLeviathan

Cw: noncon, MC is not having it, fucking in a tight space, with claustrophobia, breeding, Levi has two dicks, monster fucking, drugging venom aphrodisiac?

You're so likable... He hates it... And he knows why a pathetic human like you is so irresistible to monsters and your kind alike, as male and females block to you like moths to a bright light.

And here he was, his body aching as you're blissfully unaware of the pain and heat stirring in his belly and loins; he keeps his pain and suffering silent as he watches you laugh and flash your sweet smile at monsters that don't deserve such a privilege.

As his sense of smell heightens, everything that he wants claimed now reeks of tiger, dragon, insect even centaur... The only thing he has left is your closet which he had retreated into your closet,your once neatly fold and hanging clothes in a pile on the floor that is now his nest. Nestling against his coils and your familiar scented clothes rubbing his all over it. Now all he needs is you.

He knew you entered your bedroom He could smell you, as well as a lingering scent of something else something that irritated him. He listened closely as you stepped closer to your closet. Soon as you open that door he pounced grabbing on to you and pulling you into the dark corner rapping himself around you. He was salivating at your soft skin against him.

You for freaking out Your eyes wide as you were dragged into a tight space, having claustrophobia intense fear of small spaces you begged and screamed for Leviathan to let you go. But the Naga only covered your mouth with his hand before peppering your neck with soft kisses.

"I love you human mate with me."He murmured softly ignoring your struggles, another the other night with him This would be a rare moments where he confessed his true feelings of how he felt. But of course you consumed by fear didn't even care as you struggle to fight him struggle to break free which pissed him off.

"smell like animal. And you fight me... Do you not want to be mine? Who else is there that's you have been claimed by? I will claim you, breed you, brand you; make you forever mine."

He snarled his husky words tickling your ear as he begins to rip your clothing to pieces.

You streak and squirm against his coils as he turns you around to laugh up your tears with his tongue.

Even now you fight him... Is it because there's another? Is it one of the other animals stinking up the house? Or is it that human friend that he hates so much. He nuzzles his head into your neck taking in your familiar scent the other scent you have on you so muddled that he can barely recognize who it is. His fangs graze against your neck, gently piercing your skin giving you a dose of his venom. Not much just enough to slow your squirming and make you aroused enough to slide inside you.

"whoever you think your mate is, they do not compare to me."

His fingers play with his sheath as his cocks threaten to come out.

He strokes his cocks in his hand His gray eyes looking at you with love and lust. Every time you struggle he strangles you harder trapping you in tight coils.

"You are squirming more than usual. Do you really hate me that much? No matter, I'll make you mine. It is not your choice to make."

You could feel the venom going through your veins It is cold and makes your skin tingle as your skin becomes more sensitive, despite being trapped in the tight space of the closet and his coils the feeling of smooth scales rubbing against your skin is irresistible. You want to break free to get out but at the same time you want to rub yourself against him more.

With his strong tail he lifts one of your legs up placing it over his shoulder his fingers play with your hole before gently pushing one of his cocks inside.

As much as he wants to, he could not think good conscious rip you apart with his two cocks. He cannot hurt you like that, Even though he is already hurting you, but he does not know of your fear of tight spaces.

He could hear your rapid breathing, You're short rabbit breaths make his shake as the tip of his tail reaches your throat, wrapping it around it to squeeze. That hitch in your breath makes his cock twitch. As he stays inside of you, waiting for you to adjust to his size.

Your tight, squeezing walls make him want to thrust, So he does so, pressing himself deeper inside you. Then, when you moan his name, confirmation that he could go further, that's when he continues, bucking his hips and moving himself deeper his coils constricting and dilating with each thrust but his tail keeping the same pressure around your throat. And his other dick rubbing against you as the other one pounds inside of you deeper and deeper.

Your mind screams at you to get out of his consuming grasp, But your body craves the tight squeeze of his coils.

Leviathan's mind becomes muddled by his consuming heat as he begins to move faster. Grabbing both of your legs folding them over your shoulders too get you in a better position to pound down into you. His breath shakes as he moans a mantra of words

"Mate, mate, mate. Take it, take it, take it, mine, mine, mine, mine."

His cock rubbing against you while his deep inside of you hitting your sensitive spots make you cum, your walls squeezing around him, milking him. The naga's eyes roll back into his head as he cums inside of you with a roar. Yelling and moaning is he grinds himself deeper filling you up to the brim with his seed.

You don't know what happened after that perhaps you passed out, perhaps you fell asleep, and his coils. But when you woke up you were on your bed with him beside you a tail wrapped around your leg. His arms around you nuzzling against your chest, when he noticed you woke up he gave you a sweet smile giving you a small kiss on your skin.

"Morning, my love." He murmured just enough for only you to hear.

The first thing you did when you woke up was beat the shit out of him.

[akutasoda]

ambrosial spices

synopsis - some opposites attract like a complimentary dish

includes - jiaoqiu

warnings - gn!reader, fluff, more fluff, maybe ooc??, wc - 554

a/n: what is this? i don't know. new jiaoqiu scenes just got me thinking and there was someone talking about food and i immediately thought of this man-

some say opposites attract. a saying that has been repeated over and over, even by some may use to describe complementary pairs that seem oh so different yet work together perfectly. some might even say that opposites do attract but they drift away eventually, but you were confident that that wouldn't happen.

loving jiaoqiu was a task in itself. as pretty as the foxian was, he tended to be rather cunning and that didn't exactly go well with the smile that he always wore in public - it made him always seem rather shifty. rumor was that he even withdrew from his practice because of a broken heart, so gossipers among the yaoqing had a field day when your relationship with the chef became speculation.

you two were truly the definition of opposites. there was jiaoqiu who was sly and rather conceited, a chef that made redolent dishes in the means of providing healing. and then there was you, a content being that offered honeyed greetings to yaoqing residents, even helping to keep the yaoqing a pleasant place to live under merlin claws guidance.

your relationship was like adding something saccharine to a peppered dish. on the outside, it seemed the same but if you were to have a taste, one could note how the flavor subsided from a dancing flame to a simmering ember that coincided with it’s newly introduced sweetness.

and if somebody asked, you would say that jiaoqiu’s love was like a cup of warm spiced chai - the kind that usually comes very spicy but with personal preferences, can be milder and sweet. sure they may look at you weird but you knew jiaoqiu, and you knew your jiaoqiu.

you met the jiaoqiu who was a celebrated medicinal chef who was renowned for well seasoned remedies that left the patient with a piquant aftertaste for days. the one that was praised and celebrated for his skill even if he was completely insufferable sometimes - especially with patients who refused to take their medicine or complained about the spiciness of his dishes.

but you became much more acquaintanced with your jiaoqiu - the foxian who knew your food preferences like the back of his hand, even if they didn't align with his. you'd watch from the kitchen doorway - you knew how passionate he got when cooking and you most often would be shooed out of the kitchen - as he prepared a meal for you and you'd observe how he stared at the food horrified. you would witness him dramatically pinch his nose and sigh before he added a certain ingredient or two because all though, never in a thousand years, he would've imagined making such a dish, he did it for you.

jiaoqiu never complained to your face and if anything, he always still probably presented those dishes to you because he knew you liked them. sure he'd rather die than eat such a dish and he always added his preferences after he plated your meal, but nothing could take away from that smile of yours that made his day when you thanked him.

yes, you two had different preferences. yes, you two led different lives but at the end of the day, some would say that you only complimented the other perfectly, because you both knew that he wouldn't do that for anyone else.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[himluv]

Wonder

More Lucanis/Rook - and things are getting... confusing for our hapless rogue. @vorchagirl

It was late. The dining hall’s fire burned low, but the coffee was fresh. Lucanis sat at the table working on his shopping list. He’d had several requests and, with the recent addition of Taash and Emmrich, new palates to consider. He would go to Treviso tomorrow to resupply, and to check in with Teia and Viago.

Taash liked spicy foods, so he’d stock up on various kinds of peppers. Emmrich was vegetarian, which meant they needed more beans, lentils, and squashes. It would be good to have extra – he would get Neve to eat a vegetable if it was the last thing he did. 

Assuming she ever came back.

He’d tried to imagine how it would feel if Rook hadn’t come to Treviso. If the dragon had been permitted to lay waste and spread the blight for hours. Just imagining it broke his heart. He couldn’t fathom how crushed Neve must feel. Lucanis wanted to help, but without her here, he wasn’t sure where to start. 

Rook! Spite said. The demon had taken to announcing the elf’s presence whenever he noticed her, like a dog barking before someone knocked at the door. 

Sure enough, she walked into the dining hall a moment later. She wore the linen shirt she usually wore under her leathers, its deep v-neck loose and flowing without her armor’s belts and pouches holding it in place. 

Mierda, she looked good. He wanted to touch her, her skin, her hair. He wondered if her lips were as soft as he imagined them. Wondered what it would feel like to pull her close and know the curve of her body on his. 

Lucanis cleared his throat and frowned down at his shopping list. He needed to focus. But he wasn’t used to feeling like this. Even with Viago, it’d been more about the man than his body. His dark humor and little smirks had been utterly charming. 

With Rook… somehow it was both? She was funny and interesting, her smile brightened any room, and Lucanis could listen to her talk endlessly. But his body reacted to her presence in a way he hadn’t known it could.

Want. Rook?  Spite asked.

Mierda, yes. There was no point denying it. 

Want Rook. To do what?

Maker help him. He was not going to explain sex to a demon. Especially not when his own understanding of the topic was so… limited.

“Wow,” Rook said from over his shoulder. “What did that shopping list do to you?”

He snorted at that. “It’s late, Rook,” he said. “What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.” She hoisted herself up to sit on the table, swinging her feet. Lucanis pointedly did not look at her as she leaned back into her palms. 

Was she trying to kill him? But, of course she wasn’t. She had no idea what power she held over him, and that was for the best. 

“I’m always up,” he said. 

She scowled at that, but didn’t comment. When it became clear she wasn’t going to say anything else, Lucanis turned his attention back to his list. 

Smells like berries and campfire, Spite said. Warm and soft. He took a big sniff, suddenly appearing to stand between her legs, the demon’s face trailing up her body as he inhaled. Smells nice!

“Spite, could you not? Mierda.” That was not helping.

Rook went still. “What’s he doing?”

“Nothing,” Lucanis said too quickly. He stared down at his list and willed himself not to blush. He was a grown man, even if he was inexperienced. He sighed. “Did you need something, Rook?”

“Oh,” she said. 

Lucanis winced at her disappointed tone. It was late. Everyone else was probably asleep, and after Minrathous, he couldn’t blame her for avoiding her dreams. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m not very good company right now.”

“Is…” she paused, as if she was uncertain if she should ask. “Is everything okay?”

He sat back in his chair and looked at her. “I’m fine.”

She raised a brow at him. 

He gave her a tiny smile. “Honestly,” he said. “Just…” he shook his head. “Thinking about Neve.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Me too.”

Was that what was keeping her up at night?

Smoke and fire, Spite said.  Dreams of blood and screams.

That sounded pretty familiar. Although Lucanis tended to dream less of fire and more of water. 

Spite hissed at the memory of the Ossuary.

“She’ll come back,” he said with a confidence he didn’t quite feel.

“I know,” Rook said. She shook her head. “But things will be different.”

“I know.” There was nothing they could do about that. 

After a moment, Rook peered down at his list. “So, what are we eating this week?”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve got a few ideas,” he said. “Why? Was there something you wanted?”

She sat back again, tapping her chin with one index finger as she made a show of thinking. 

This time, Lucanis looked. He let his eyes rove over her, noted the swell of her thighs and hips, how they tapered up into her high waist. Maker, he wanted to put his hands there. To feel her ribcage expand as her breath hitched. Her shirt bared a tantalizing view of her sternum, her collarbones and throat. Lucanis wondered what her skin would taste like. Wondered what sounds she would make if he kissed her in that spot where her neck met her shoulder. 

“There’s this stew,” she said. 

Lucanis blinked, his eyes darting up to her face, sure he’d be caught staring. But she was looking up at the ceiling.

“I used to get it in Wycome,” she continued. “When I had the spare coin.” She sighed. “It had mashed potatoes and this rich venison gravy.”

He suddenly wanted nothing more than to make this dish for her. To see her taste a memory of home, hear her moan in pleasure at something he'd made. Did this count as a fantasy? He wasn’t sure. All of this was new territory for him. 

“I don’t know what it’s called though,” she said. “The stall I bought it from just called it ‘Stew’.” She chuckled at that, the sound carrying a forgotten fondness that seemed to surprise her. “I haven’t thought of that place in forever.”

Lucanis smiled at her. “I’ll see what I can find,” he said. He’d never been to Wycome, but despite their independence, the Marches were all fairly similar. He’d had a similar dish while working in Starkhaven some years ago. If he could find the right ingredients, he should be able to recreate something close. 

Rook smiled, and then yawned. She stretched, bowing her back and rolling her body in a way that Lucanis was most definitely not immune to. He kept his arms crossed and his hands balled into fists, otherwise he didn’t trust himself not to reach out and touch her. 

“Thanks, Lucanis,” she said. 

He frowned. “For what?”

She shrugged. “For listening,” she said. “Even when you don’t want to.”

“I always want to.” The words were out before he could stop them. They hung between them, charged and crackling more than the fire behind him. She watched him with those violet-tinged eyes, and her gaze was so intent Lucanis had to look away. 

He cleared his throat and added a few new ingredients to his list. Venison. Potatoes. Cream. Rook slid down off the table, taking his sudden focus as the dismissal it was. He needed space between them again, or he would falter. 

“Goodnight, Lucanis,” she said. 

He waited until she was at the door to say, “Goodnight, Rook.”

She lingered at the door just long enough for him to glance up and catch her smile. It was more than enough to get him through the night.

[burningcheese-merchant]

How was Burning spice cookie like while Golden cheese was pregnant? How intense was his protective habits during it?

I talked about this in a previous ask, but I don't mind explaining again haha

Spice was very, very protective of her. Absolutely over the moon (TL;DR from that ask is that Spice is redeemed by the time he and Golden are married and have their family in my main canon, so the news that he's going to be a father is just, like... the cherry on top of the sundae that his life became, you know? All of that long and hard work atoning for his sins, and at the end of the road is this great happiness. It's something else that assures him that this path he chose was worth it, essentially), but protective to a fault. He doted on Golden Cheese, waited on her hand and foot basically, but he was also quite fussy and fretful, and downright hostile towards literally everyone except her. His friends, her friends, their subjects, everyone. He didn't want anyone too close for too long out of fear that it would stress her out and make her/the baby sick.

Now, Golden does like to be pampered, and pamper her, Spice certainly did lol. Whatever she craved, he made sure she had to eat in an hour at the absolute latest. If she felt sore, it was relaxing baths and massages until the soreness was gone. If she couldn't sleep, he'd be right there with her, talking to her and trying to soothe her until she fell back asleep (and he would stay up a bit longer even after that, just to keep watch). Spice is Peak Husband during this time and she adores it. But... it did get a little tiresome. He all but became her shadow during those nine months, to the point that she felt claustrophobic at times. And no, she was not exactly fond of how short he was with their friends and loved ones lol. Yes, it was all for her sake, but, like... chill, dude. You're not the only one who cares and wants to help. It's okay to be excited, it's okay to worry, but there were moments where SHE worried about HIM and how stressed HE was. He was being extra for no real reason sometimes, you know? (And she never wants to be seen as weak or helpless, anyway, even if this time, she genuinely was in an extremely vulnerable state. It's that stubbornness and overconfidence shining through)

Granted, it didn't help that both of Goldie's pregnancies were really exhausting. She felt drained from beginning to end, and it really only got worse as the months went by. She was restless and hardly slept either time. When she was carrying Pepper Jack, her head and wings ached almost constantly. When she was carrying Matar Paneer, she was really moody and often craved really specific food (AKA ultra spicy food lol. She ate almost exclusively Wild Spice dishes during that time because of that. She hated it, she hates too much spice in her food, but she felt far worse NOT eating it than she did eating it...). It was hard. Worth it, but hard. Spice wasn't entirely wrong to be as fussy as he had been. But that didn't make it any less frustrating. (Now, why exactly it was so draining, I shall explain another time 🤫)

But they got two beautiful children at the end of it all, so it was fine haha

[live-laugh-legolas]

what are the spice tolerances of the fellowship? who snacks on ghost peppers without any reaction and who thinks black pepper is too spicy?

I was literally thinking about this the other day.

The Fellowship’s spice tolerance

Aragorn:

-He’s not great with spice

-He doesn’t get dramatic about it but his mouth is on fire

-The only reason he’s not great with spice is just not having it often

-He spends so much time in the wild; he’s not Sam who refuses to eat unseasoned food even in the middle of nowhere

-He is used to the blandest of bland food

-If he is served spicy food he will power through it because he’s too polite to ask for something else

Legolas:

-I will never give up my hc that he has literal grave mouth

-He will eat anything and be fine

-He might feel a bit of spice if he had a ghost pepper or something

-But he is less bothered by the spice and more just doesn’t get the point

-“why would I eat something that hurts?”

-He prefers to munch on poisonous berries he finds as they all walk that made Boromir have to shit every 15 minutes for a week

Gimli:

-I kinda wanted to say he isn’t good with spice because I could totally see him with the whole physical reaction to spice

-But he probably is the type to add hot sauce to literally everything

-So maybe he still gets real red and his nose runs

-But best believe he’s chowing down and having a great time

-Would risk his life for buffalo wings

Boromir:

-Surprisingly not bothered much

-Maybe not ghost peppers but normal to high levels of spice are fine

-However

-His mouth may be fine but his body is going to explode

-Don’t bother him about an hour later; he’s shitting literal fires of Mount Doom

-Send aid

-Never learns though and will continue to eat spicy food

Frodo

-It’s this one right here

-He’s the one who will munch on ghost peppers casually

-He likes the taste

-A ghost pepper is nothing to him

Sam:

-Not good with spice at all

-He gets all red in the face

-Nose running so much you would think the elvish river horses were coming

-He likes the taste; but he has a very strong reaction

-He would really like Flaming Hot Cheetos but it takes him a week to get through a whole bag

-And yes he’s crying the whole time but he won’t stop

Merry:

-He can tolerate a moderate amount of spice but he doesn’t really like it

-And I mean he doesn’t add spice to anything just for the sake of adding a kick

-He suffers through it a little but he does love Indian style food

-That shit rocks even if his mouth is starting to go numb

Pippin:

-I am indecisive about him

-On one hand I think he’s a sensitive little guy

-But he also loves to eat and won’t let some spice get in his way of a good meal

-So I’m going to rest on he is literally crying from the spice but won’t stop eating it; he’s hungry

-He won’t back down from being challenged to eat a ghost pepper

-Possibly needs medical assistance if he has too much spice

Gandalf:

-Nope

-Doesn’t even like mustard because he thinks that is too spicy

-Literally dies and comes back as a different version of Gandalf that’s how dramatic he is

-If it smells a little spicy he won’t even try it

[ghouljams]

Heya Ghoul... I have a question.

How do you tell if you've been like... affected by something? My ex practices Wiccan stuff and she is very obsessive and still texts my old number and like... yeah, I'm worried about her doing something. We were together roughly two years and she's still trying to contact me after a year of no contact and she's saying how like I'm her soulmate and stuff and I'm just... not into her at all anymore. Like she gave me emotional trauma and stuff, almost convinced me to move up to where she is (long distance, manipulative) and I'm not comfortable going out of state right now because that's a huge reset I don't want to do again...

Not to ramble here too much, I'm sorry if it's too weird or something so feel free to ignore this, but I really don't know who to ask in terms of the practice. I'm also not really sure how to bring up the topic of spells or hexes or whatever, I'm not trying to be dismissive in any way but it's like talking about just feels stifling and awkward. We (ex and I) never really talked about her practices and stuff, but sometimes she'd talk about a ritual she did or wanted to do, or spell jars she wanted to make... I never really learned how to talk about it, either, in general so maybe it just feels weird because it's foreign. I don't doubt it exists, but it's not something I understand very well.

I didn't intend to dump this on you but I did so in sorry about that. Thank you for reading, I hope you have a great day.

Hello hello you have come to the right witch.

First of all FUCK WICCA that shit is just magic stollen from other religions and closed practices, plus it was created by some random white dude in like the 80s so it's not even this deeply ancient practice that people think it is.

Anyway Wiccans also have this whole thing about "do no harm" but lemme tell you something, i am not Wiccan and I will do harm. So here's what you're gonna do.

We're going to start with a cleanse. I like doing a Limpia, since that's the most hands on and accessible.

You're gonna get an egg and rub that Thang all over your body. I mean all over, and try to focus on "cleaning" yourself off with it. Be careful not to break it but make sure you rub it over the top of your head, sole of your feet, stomach/heart/hands, you wanna get anything you think feels bad. Then we're gonna crack the egg into a glass of water.

Now you can read the egg and see if she's actually hexed you, but for your purposes it doesn't matter because even if she hasn't we're gonna throw some salt, ceyanne/chili powder/red pepper flakes, and some garlic into that water. Then you're gonna toss the whole thing down the toilet, close the lid and flush it.

Cleanse done.

Next your gonna take a jar or a bag and you're gonna put anything sharp that you have in your house and you're willing to get rid of into it. Nails, thorns, thumb tacks, needles, pins, toss it in there. If you're using a jar add some vinegar, if your using a bag don't. Then we're doing hot stuff again: chili powder, red pepper flakes, anything spicy goes in your ward. Add some salt. Spit in it. Write a warning on a piece of paper "anyone who sends harm my way will get it back 3 fold" and shove it in there. Then bury that thing. Preferably you do this at the edge of your property but if you can't bury anything out it over your door.

Done.

Other witches get real fancy with their wards but I'm lazy and most people don't have a ton of fancy witchcraft stuff, so we work with what we've got.

Otherwise. Idk magic isn't real, the worst she can do is just like keep trying to contact you and being annoying. She'll get bored eventually and move on to tormenting someone else, but if she does send anything your way or you feel like you're not acting like yourself, do a cleanse.

[unadulteratedbluebirdnightmare]

Imagine this intrigue between cale and beacrox

Cale is a Korean, right? And Korea has lots of spicy food and how roan is the traditional europed theme in the fantasy world, probably it doesn't has a lot of food with a lot of spice/strong seasonings.

So, imagine every time that Beacrox prepares food for him, he asks for pepper or something else.

And that drives Beacrox completely crazy!

Until cale shows how much spicy he likes his food.

And everyone looks to him like: "are you fuckin crazy?"

[4st4rion]

we could grow

ao3 link

i was having a Time and just needed to write about astarion not feeling pressured into sex so. you can see this as an alternate take on his first scene or a 'deleted' scene before that one

1.4k, fully gender neutral tav. rated mature+. has him feeding from you then lots of kissing and mild spiciness. second person pov and no spoilers

His teeth hurt so badly you want to scream as they pierce your flesh, scraping nerve endings and puncturing just right to open your veins to him.

First, it hurts, it hurts, but then there's... Something else. A gentle numbing that spreads from your neck across your chest and into your belly, slowly becoming something else as it takes effect.

His moan is muffled into your skin when he sucks another mouthful of blood from you.

You gather the strength to reach up, threading your fingers into his hair, but instead of yanking him off of you like you should, you hold him close.

He adjusts on his knees — he knelt beside you when you 'got comfortable' for him to feed, but now, he straddles you slowly. You could stop him, but you don't, and he buries his face harder into your neck like a nuzzling.

His tongue laps over the bite wounds in your skin and your breath catches; you almost make a noise, but you're too aware of him on top of you to relax and let it out. You can't stop shaking, either, although you can hardly be blamed for that when you're having the blood stolen from your body.

The hand that isn't in Astarion's hair reaches up to pet down his side, settling eventually on his hip, and you hold him there, too, bringing him as close as you can.

He's hard.

You feel it through your shirt, bulge pressing against your belly where he lays over you like a lazy creature, relaxing all his weight onto you as he drinks. You're distantly aware of him removing his fangs and licking, kissing, mouthing over the bite to help stop the bleeding and help it heal, and once he's satisfied, he lays over you completely.

He feels denser than he did, and you suppose that's you, reinvigorating him from the inside out.

He breathes a shaky sigh with his head resting over your shoulder, his thirst sated.

There's a moment of hesitation before his mouth returns — this time, he peppers sweet kisses over your throat and up toward your ear like a lover.

"Do you want me?" he asks against your jaw.

Gods, yes, of course you do, but is this really a good idea? Whatever he has in mind involves putting his horny against yours, and you're already not thinking straight from the blood loss.

"Tell me," he breathes against your ear, and you shudder under him.

"Yes," you admit.

He grinds his hips slow and deliberate into you.

"How badly do you want me?" he whispers, absolutely devilish, and you can hear the smug smirk in his voice.

"Bad enough to tolerate your smart ass," you whisper back, trying to be witty, but his hands have started roaming down your sides. Despite that, he laughs, and nips at your cheek in lieu of a kiss.

You can't do this here. You're barely feet away from the rest of your companions.

"Get off of me," you say, pushing at his hip and pulling at his hair.

He tenses over you like he thinks you're rejecting him, but you squeeze his hip under your hand.

"Let's go somewhere more private."

The two of you stumble like drunks up the river until you find a suitable clearing, collapsing into the dirt together.

"May I —?"

"Kiss me, yeah," you groan, as he puts you on your back and tangles your legs together.

His mouth tastes like blood, but you can't bring yourself to care. He kisses you with desperation you've neither seen nor felt before, whimpering into every clash of your lips as though it could be the last. His hands wander under your clothes and squeeze at your chest and your waist and your hips, and you laugh against his mouth.

"Slow down," you breathe, even as you hungrily watch him pull his shirt off and place it beside you.

"Must I?" he asks, only half joking.

"I don't want to rush this," you admit.

"In no hurry to regret me in the morning?" he teases, and leans in for another kiss, but you stop him with a gentle hand against his cool chest.

"I won't regret this in the morning," you say cautiously. "Will you?"

He frowns, like he hadn't considered it.

You sit up a bit and he backs off, kneeling with one knee between yours and the other near your hip.

"You do know I like you, don't you?" you ask, head cocked. "I enjoy your company. I wouldn't... This wouldn't be happening if I didn't like you as a person."

His frown gets deeper, like you've said the wrong thing, and now you frown, too.

"Is that not okay?" you ask.

He seems to snap out of it.

"I was only joking," he backpedals. "I've been more than one person's regret in my time," he 'jokes' again, but his smile doesn't reach his eyes.

He tries to kiss you again, continue things, but you push at his chest and keep him back.

"Hey," you say, as gently as you can manage. "Maybe we shouldn't go any further if we're not on the same page," you suggest, as much as you hate the thought of stopping and as much as something twists in your chest at the idea that he's truly not into you.

"No," he says quickly, "I — I'm sorry," he sighs. "It's been a while since I did this for fun," he scoffs.

"What does that mean?" you ask before you can stop yourself, and it's like the entire forest goes silent around you.

"I already told you I was Cazador's slave for the last two hundred years," he frowns. "Can't we leave it at that?"

The implications there are... Disturbing. Does he mean Cazador did things to him? Or made him do things? Or both? Neither?

"Hey," you say again. "Seriously. If you're not comfortable, I don't want to do anything."

He swallows.

He sits back on his heels.

"Okay," he says, so quiet you have to read his lips. "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding. I'll go."

You frown again. Tonight has become a back-and-forth of frowning, and you wish it hadn't.

"Astarion," you say, and he looks you in the eye for the first time in minutes. "What do you want?"

He breaks eye contact again, glancing between the dirt and the trees and you, but not quite meeting your eyes again yet.

"I'd like to have a nice night with you," he slowly admits. He says it guiltily, like he expects to be in trouble for wanting to spend time together.

You nod.

"I want that, too," you assure him. "Do you want to do anything physical, or would you rather just... Relax, together?"

He thinks on it for a long moment.

"I'd like to kiss you again," he finally says. "I don't know if I'd... I'm not sure about going further," he says.

You smile at him.

You bring your hand up to cup his cheek, slow and light enough he can move away or push you off if he needs to. He doesn't — he lets you guide his head up to look you in the eye again.

"Okay," you say back. "I'm good with that."

He carefully leans in again, and you don't stop him this time. He kisses you differently, like the two of you have never kissed before — it's slow, and shallow, and chaste, but it makes your heart race all the same.

His fingers twiddle with a twig on the ground as you both pull back long moments later.

"Would it be silly of me to put my shirt back on?" he asks, and you laugh.

"Not at all."

You spend the next hour lying there together, chatting intermittently about the bugs you hear and the days to come and bits and pieces of your pasts that you feel like sharing. Once in a while, he sits up, leans over, and kisses you, and the two of you get lost in that for a few minutes, and then you're back to relaxing together and looking at the stars peeking through the tree canopy.

Eventually, you're forced to call it a night. You both rise and stretch, and, to your pleasant surprise, his hand catches you by the hip as you turn back toward camp.

He kisses you one more time, slow and heated and full of undeniable intent. You're almost panting when he finally gives you space again, heat thoroughly stirred in you.

"I just wanted to give you something to think about the next time I leave you wanting," he purrs, still hovering close, and then passes you to return to camp.

He must be in a good mood again, the tease.

Damn him.

[celaenaeiln]

12 am anon back at it again. my friend called me at 2 am, tipsy on i wanna say wine??? and ranted about how nightwing’s “superpower” is his charisma for like 15 mins . and then they talked about how he looks like he’d have a great spice tolerance before hanging up. i think its a hyperfixation .

I absolutely love it!! You and your friend just have the best conversations ever.

Your ask immediately reminded me of this scene from YJ Season 3

"That's just about everyone. Wasn't sure they'd all respond."

"You command more respect than you realize."

"I'm starting to get that."

Literally this boy has charisma oozing out of his pores. It absolutely is his superpower!

Charisma is known as "a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure" or "the quality of being able to attract, charm and influence those around you." And Dick is the living embodiment of it.

It's actually a canon trait of his

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #5

Dick has the unique ability to lead people. It's not just about telling others what to do, it's people wanting to follow him, listen to him, and and accepts his commands of their own volition.

In the DC/RWBY comic, the RWBY team crosses over to Gotham with all their problems so they have to work together with Batman, Batgirl, and Nightwing (Ruby REALLY gets along with Dick which for some reason makes so much sense idk why). And the batfamily get superpowers.

And DC-

DC LITERALLY WENT-

DC/RWBY Issue #3

THEY ACTUALLY GAVE HIM THE POWER OF INSPIRATION. THEY SAID "if anyone has the ability to lead people to a better life, give them light and hope, and be everyone's favorite leader and savior, then there is only one person to which we can attribute this power to."

Inspiration is the factor that leads people to moving mountains, becoming greater, and changing our entire lives and everyone else and Dick is the one who bestows that power.

He literally inspires people to be better and inspires them to follow him and became the greatest they can be.

Teen Titans (2003) Issue #33

He just has the ability to inspire people to reach greater heights. The younger generation, his own, and the older ones kind of hero worship him.

Charisma is a dangerous power to have. It's essentially the unique ability to convince people to want to do things for you.

Examples of charismatic leaders are Martin Luther King Jr, Joan of Arc, Fidel Castro, and Napolean.

These people moved nations, worlds, societies but they are only one person. And Dick, has the ability to do this too.

To describe him as a person, to describe his charismatic authority, you need to combine all those figures into one person. And that's the equivalent of his power.

Because in the comics when he wants something - the whole superhero society answers.

The Titans (1999) Issue #39

On a separate note, Dick does have a high spice tolerance!

Batman and Robin (2009) Issue #1

Also Romani food is made hot and spicy, commonly using chili, paprika, and red and black pepper. So he can definitely handle the heat.

Lol I'm just imagining Dick absent-mindedly chewing on a red chili pepper while he watches Garth dare Wally to eat a ghost pepper while Donna's rolling her eyes and Roy's hyperventilating on the floor because he's having flashbacks to Ollie's Chilli.

[somethingclevermahogony]

Now that you're back, I can toss some more asks your way! What sort of spices are common in which places? Is any region known for especially spicy food?

Finally actually getting to this! As per usual I will not be answering this in any sort of concise or short manner, so get ready for a long read. Just so this isn't too long, I'm only going to focus on Kishetal and I will discuss the characteristics and some of the more popular ingredients, spices, and dishes in 8 different Kishite cities, each representing a different region of Kishetal.

A Brief Introduction to Kishite Cuisine

1. Shared Traits

Across the Seven (Technically 8, but I'm skipping the Makorian Colonies for now, I might return to them later if people are interested) Kishite regions there are a number of features which remain constant among Kishite culinary traditions. The most immediately recognizable of these features is how food itself is served. Kishite food is always served in bite-sized pieces, whether naturally or whether it is cut up before eating (soups and liquids are the exception to this). Food is eaten with the fingers or else with a spoon. There are no forks or chopsticks or similar utensils. Knives are a rarity as well, as typically it is expected that the food will already be served in pieces or that it can be broken into small pieces with the fingers.

Another shared trait is the "triad" which refers to three types of food which form the bulk of the average person's diet, these being Grain (Wheat, Barley, or Rye), Legumes (Lentils, Chickpeas, Peas, Vetch, Beans, Etc.), and Fat (Most typically olives/olive oil with sheep fat/lard and butter also appearing). The Makurian steppe is unique in that grain does not form the majority of the diet for commoners, with dairy and fats taking precedent.

The last similarity is a heavy reliance on condiments, whether these be seasonings or sauces or something else entirety. It is typical for a Kishite table to have several different kinds of toppings available at any time, what exactly these are will vary by region.

2. Regional Cuisines

(I honestly can't remember if I put a cut here, Tumblr isn't letting me put a cut, so I think I did....sorry if I didn't.)

1. The Red Cedar Mountains : Labisa

The Red Cedar Mountains stretch from the Shabalic Sea in the north nearly to the Sea of Agitu in the south. This region is home to cities like Labisa and Kepfis.

Labisian's are famed for the love of and skill in producing fried foods. The food of Labisa, and in the mountains in general, is viewed by other regions as hearty and heavy. Breads and cakes, sausages, and heavy sauces are well known from the region. Foods are often drizzled with fat. Olives are a popular snack. Compared to other regions the people of Labisa eat relatively few vegetables. Per capita, the people of the mountains including the commoners, eat more meat than in any other region of Kishetal (typically in the form of sausages (Arashuki) and offal) while eating far less saltwater derived fish. Most meat comes from sheep, with horned-rabbits, goats, and pigs coming close behind. Cattle are largely reserved for the nobility. Game is common fare, though only for those with the time to hunt it or the money to buy it. Insects are very rarely consumed, particularly in the city. Rodents and other small animals, with the exception of the Cedar Squirrel, are rarely eaten. Aside from a tendency towards rich textures and flavours, Labisan cuisine shows a strong preference for black pepper, which appears in almost all dishes, including desserts. Labisans, perhaps as a way to to counteract the fatty nature of their cuisine, are infamous for their love of vinegar, even more than other regions. It is not unusual for morsels to be dipped into first vinegar and then into various herbs most typically a mixture of parsely, mint, and salt. While herbs (mint, parsley, thyme, basil, coriander, rosemary, etc), aliums (onions and garlic) and acids (vinegar) are common aspects of Labisan seasoning, for the common person, spices are a relative rarity, with the exception of black pepper. Cumin is used at times, as is imported cardamom and cinnamon. Lisikip (Tickling seed), which is similar in nature and effect to the Szechuan peppercorn, is used on occasion. However on the whole Labisan food is not known for being "spicy" and while rich, has a reputation for being relatively bland. You're unlikely to find much in the way of soups/broths in Labisa, though stews are relatively common. A common stew is Olibiha (aka Hot blood water) , which consists of boiled meat (this will vary but will regardless likely contain organ meat and other less expensive cuts), beets, onions, garlic, and fat of some sort. Traditionally this soup was sold by butchers and at markets at the end of the day as a way to use up unpurchased products. Though its name is typically in reference to the color imparted by the beets, it is not unheard of for blood to be added to the broth, though this form is less popular.

Similar to Olibiha, Chakun, are a popular butcher snack, typically made from pig or lamb skin, fried in its own fat and then seasoned. This is somewhat comparable to "cracklins" or chicharrons. Labisian cuisine in general holds an appreciation for crispy or crunchy textures that other regions do not tend to show.

Fried dough and fried cakes are a popular festival food somewhat similar to what we might associate with a doughnut. These doughnuts or Hasolikipun are typically fried in olive oil or sheep fat. Typically these are then split open and stuffed with a variety of fillings, including fish, offal, and nuts. Another popular dish is Kipsha, a dense barley cake typically drizzled with honey and citrus and served with toppings like nuts and cheese. Kipsha is both sold on the street and made in houses, often for celebrations. Deserts, aside from fruit, are a relative rarity in Labisa, with Kipsha being perhaps the most well known kind. Labisa's position on the shore of Lake Shebali, means that the city has access to lake fish, and thus freshwater species are consumed more here than in other regions. Trout and eels are particularly cherished by Kishite consumers, both are typically roasted. The most commonly consumed fish are various species of minnow and shad, which are caught in bulk and often served fried. Labisan cuisine is strongly influenced by the cuisines of pre-Kishite tribes which existed in the mountains before the arrival of Tamel.

2. The Felic Plain : Seha

The Felic Plains primarily consist of grassland with occasional patches of deciduous forest. The plains are split by the Aratshin River, and most large settlements can be found on the edge of said river.

The region experiences hot summers and mild but wet winters, which makes the region ideal for farming. As such, the Felic Plains act as the bread-basket of Kishetal. In comparison to the mountains and other regions, the people of Seha eat far more vegetables, and considerably less meat and very little marine protein.

Compared to Labisian cuisine, Sehaic shows a far stronger affinity for spices, with cumin, garlic, lisjir, coriander, cardamom, cinnamon, fennel, and black pepper all appearing regularly in the diet. Felic cuisine in general is the "spiciest" variety, though it is in contention for that tightly with the Kipsian Desert. Mustard and mustard seeds are common ingredients as well, and in the rare instances where meat is eaten, mustard is almost always present.

In addition to their love of spices, Sehaic consumers are infamous for their general disdain for many textures. Sehaic foods have a reputation for being soft, often boiled or stir-fried or else pounded until quiet easy to chew. The cuisine shows an aversion to the crispy, crunchy, and chewy textures.

Sehaic cuisine is known for its heavy use of green vegetables such as lettuce and cabbage, as well as its preference for broths as opposed to thicker stews. Fried food is a relative rarity in Sehaic cuisine, with boiling or else "stir-frying" being far more common.

Cheese is a large part of the diet and is often the condiment of choice, with several different varieties of cheeses being used, all with their own distinct purposes. One variety of heavily salted cheese, is added on to savory dishes as a way of imparting salinity. Sehaic's are known for drinking their wine and beer with cheese, that is to say they are known for crumbling a particular variety of sheep's cheese into their beverages. After the beverage has been consumed, the resultant cheesy sludge left at the bottom of the bowl is then mixed with honey and nuts and is eaten as a desert. This particular dish is called Birafepaha (Fepaha's Joy).

A common dish is Keriha or "hot green" a dish consisting of dark green leaves, typically spinach boiled with garlic, onion, coriander, and lisjir, in a broth or stock (typically made from fish bones). This may be mixed and cooked down until the liquid has all but evaporated, producing a thick substance which may then be used to dip bread, or if the liquid is not boiled out, it may be eaten as a soup. While meat is rare it is not entirely unheard of. It is not unusal for a family to keep one or two horned-rabbits, raising them both for meat and for fur. Sheep and cattle are both quite common, as evidenced by the Sehaic love of cheese. Mutton and lamb are often consumed at celebrations. Jirbaha, is a beloved dish consisting of strips of lamb or mutton, cooked with a variety of herbs and spices as well as mustard. This is then wrapped in a cigar like fashion, along with various greens and cheese, in a thin dough and is either fried or baked. This is then typically cut into pieces or else is held in the hand.

Sehaic cuisine shows a deep reverence for freshwater fish, with eels, trout, and sturgeon being reserved for either special occasions or the diets of the wealthy/powerful. Smaller and less valuable fish act as occasional supplements to the common diet. Insects and gastropods are eaten quite regularly. Locusts, cicadas, grubs, and snails are all common parts of the Sehaic diet, often added to other dishes. The favoured preparation for insects is fried in sesame or olive oil, and then heavily spiced and seasoned. During the harvest season, locusts with lisijir are a popular snack. Other agricultural pests, such as field rats and moles, may also be eaten, typically cooked over a fire. Kipnakili is a comfort food, often eaten by farmers and river boat drivers, including pirates. It consists of soft cheese, nuts (typically pistachios or walunts or a mix), fruit (typically figs, with the addition of raspberries and sometimes pomegranate), and honey. This mixture is pounded into a fine paste, which is then spread onto flatbread or small round barley cakes, the Felic equivalent to kipsha.

Sehaic cuisine, and Felic cuisine in general, exhibits a strong influence from both native populations and ancient Shabalic cuisine, with some dishes, such as Birafepaha, having roots as far back as the time of Tamel.

3. The Western Coast : Chibal

Pictured Above: The Western Coast near the city-state of Chibal

The Western Coast borders the Green Sea stretching from Bura in the north to Bisabal in the south. The climate here is warm and wet, defined by arid summers and stormy winters, similar to the Felic Plains but more intense on both counts. This has resulted in a culinary tradition with strong seasonal trends. Room temperature of even cold dishes are popular in the summer months while more hearty soups and broths are popular in the winter and fall.

Chibal, the second largest city in Kishetal after Labisa, has become the most culturally and demographically diverse city in the region, thanks to its prominence as a major trading port. This rich diversity is reflected in Chibalian cuisine, which incorporates elements from Korithian, Apunian, Ikopeshi, Baalkic, Shabalic, and Makorian culinary traditions. This post will focus specifically on dishes which were developed and created in Chibal and not imported.

Due to this sheer variety of influences and sub-cultures it is hard to make any sweeping claims about the nature of Chibalian food. However in general Chibalian food puts an emphasis on the quality of individual ingredients, with Chibalian cooks and diners earning a reputation as being pretentious. As a result, generally Chibalian dishes tend to be less complex, while being fresher. The same applies for seasoning and spice. While not bland like Labisian cuisine, Chibalian cuisine in most instances lacks the complex melanges of spices and seasoning seen in Sehaic food. Rather it should be expected that a Chibalian dish, in most instances, will rely primarily on only one or two items as seasoning, aside from salt.

While legumes and grains(particularly the massive paper thin flatbread known as lakibi) make up the majority of the Chibalian diet, fish and meat also make a significant contribution. Unsurprisingly a far larger portion of the diets of the people of Chibal and the Western Coast in general are composed of marine elements. Alongside fish and shellfish, the coast is home to many varieties of edible seaweed which appear in a number of dishes, particularly salads and soups. Chibal is additionally famous for its salt, produced in salt beds. This flaky salt is shipped around the entirety of the Green Sea, however the best is kept in Chibal and used to top a variety of dishes. Other popular condiments include cumin seeds, vinegar, olive oil, and a variety of Korithian fish sauce called wydram.

Bikerebi (water-leaf water) is a traditional soup, often served as a starter or side dish. It features a broth typically made from small fish or shrimp and various types of green sea algae. While the broth can be enjoyed on its own, it is usually enhanced with additional ingredients like salt, lisijir, vinegar, black pepper, and dill. A popular variation, known as Kibikerebi, involves crumbling stale or dried bread into the broth, creating a paste-like porridge. This heartier version is commonly eaten by fishermen and laborers as their first meal of the day. Ovens are typically reserved only for bread, with roasted or baked dishes being relatively rare (though roasted meats and seafoods may be eaten on special occasions). Rather the majority of Chibalian food is boiled, pickled, sauteed, fried, or dried. Chibal is one of the only places in Kishetal with a penchant, particularly in the warmer months, for eating raw foods. This includes fruits and vegetables along with fish and shellfish. One famed, though expensive dish is Sibizu aka "cold-fish" typically made from white flesh fish, such as sea bass, flounder, mackerel, and scallops. Tuna species and swordfish are considered more luxurious, and are preferred by the wealthy. Fish meat is cut into thin pieces and covered in salt and herbs, typically dill. This can be done either in a bowl or pot or spread onto a tray or flat stone. This is then allowed to sit, typically for around 2 hours. After this the fish is removed from salt and rinsed in a mixture of water and vinegar, typically three times. After this the fish is served with a olive oil as well as various other toppings. In certain circumstances the fish may be served ontop of ice or snow as this is believed to improve the freshness and flavour. Uncooked fish more often takes the form of pickled fish, left in a mixture of vinegar, salt, and herbs. Oysters and clams are regularly eaten raw, though they may also be shucked and added to soups or stews or on rare occasion baked.

Chibalian cuisine is defined by an intense interest in texture with the perfect meal preferable containing elements which are soft, slimy, creamy, crunchy, and chewy. For the last category cephalopods such as octopus and squid as well as stewed cartilage are popular ingredients. Vegetables are typically served as sides, favored for their textural components rather than their flavor. Crisp lettuce or crunchy asparagus/cabbage often appear as part of broader meals, but are often ignored. Salads composed of lettuce, spinach, cabbage, and other greens including seaweed are often served at the end of the meal, after fruit. Chibal is one of the only cities where pigs are consumed at a greater rate than sheep or goats, though still not as much as the horned-rabbit. Sausages, tripe, offal, and chops are all eaten regularly along with products made from the skin and blood.

4. The Northern Coast/Sheprian Forest: Shepra

The Sheprian forest in the northern part of Kishetal is primarily composed of deciduous trees with occasional conifer patches at areas with higher elevations. Common trees include oak, chestnut, birch, hornbeam, black pine, cedar, juniper, and beech. 

The city of Shepra lies on the northern coast of Kishetal at the Delta of the Pesha River. The surrounding area is heavily forested. For this reason, Shepra is famed for the quality of its hunters and of its game. Sheprians are additionally famed for the quality of their wheat, said to be sweeter and more delicate than the more abundant Felic varieties. Sheprian bakers are famed for their fluffy yeasted breads, typically favouring wheat rather than the barley which reigns supreme in southern regions. As a result, Sheprian wheat bread has been called, Kipchilu or Bread of the Gods. Sheprian bread is so popular that it or at the very least, Sheprian wheat flour, may be shipped hundreds of miles by foot, donkey, and ship to the courts of cities like Labisa and Chibal where it is treated with great reverence, often as a desert. Sheprian bread is often added to sacrifices alongside meat and fat meant for Great Spirits and Gods, either left outside on special alters (for Great Spirits) or burnt (for Gods).

Shepra boasts a vast collection of communal ovens, located near the town's center alongside the central grain store. By paying taxes, serving in the city guard, or fulfilling other civic duties, a Sheprian household earns a clay tablet that grants them the right to use one of the ovens for the season. However, a persistent issue plagues the town: a group of counterfeiters producing fake tablets. If someone is caught using a counterfeit tablet, they face punishment through debt slavery for up to three years, usually tasked with cleaning and maintaining the ovens. The problem is so significant that the Sheprian King has established a dedicated bureaucratic office, the Chief of Ovens, to address it (not to be confused with the Chief of Bread, who oversees the baking of bread and the storage of grains within the Palatial Complex). Those found guilty of intentionally damaging an oven or stealing an oven tablet receive death.

Some families also own smaller ceramic ovens or braziers, which can be used inside the house or, more commonly, on the flat roofs. In addition to these, there are professional bakers who either own their own ovens or petition for special tablets that designate them as bakers, granting them unrestricted access to the communal ovens. The abundance of ovens, along with ample timber and coal, has shaped a cuisine centered around braising, roasting, and baking. Sheprian food often involves long, slow cooking times, resulting in dishes celebrated for their rich flavors but often criticized for their lackluster colors and textures. Stews and gravies play a central role in Sheprian cuisine.

Unsurprisingly, bread is a staple of Sheprian meals, with 126 distinct varieties produced in the region, 42 of which are entirely unique to that region, and 13 exclusive to the city of Shepra. One notable variety, ruyi (literally "plate"), is a large, dry, and dense flatbread typically made from a mixture of wheat and barley. Families usually bake ruyi in bulk every four to five days. To prevent spoilage, it is cooked to a cracker-like consistency, making it hard and tasteless in its natural state. The flatbread is then wrapped in cloth and stored for use as flatware during meals. Food is served directly onto the ruyi, accompanied by vinegar, oil, cheese, and various sauces and toppings, including a chickpea and garlic paste known as Babilkipi. After the meal, once the bread has absorbed the liquids, it is either cut or broken into pieces and eaten. Ruyi is a common presence at most Sheprian meals, and it is not unusual for families to consume multiple types of bread, including ruyi, in a single meal. Perhaps due to their preference for hearty, fatty meals—possibly to counter the cold winters—Sheprians, along with Labisians, are often stereotyped as being somewhat heavier than other Kishite groups. This trait is not viewed negatively; in fact, many consider both Sheprian men and women among the most attractive in Kishetal.

As previously mentioned, game such as venison and boar is consumed regularly in Shepria, alongside goat and pork. However, horned rabbits are rarely kept, making them a minor part of the Sheprian diet. Cattle and sheep are similarly uncommon, largely due to the dense, ancient forests that dominate the region, which are not well-suited to pastoralism. For this same reason the people of Shepria have historically had little use for horses and cavalry.

Despite being located right next to the Shabalic Sea, seafood plays a relatively minor role in the Sheprian diet. Ironically, most of the prized Sheprian catch is sold to merchants and traders from cities like Chibal and Seha. The exception is shellfish, which the Sheprians consume in large quantities. The outskirts of the city are dotted with massive shell middens, some of which have become homes to various spirits and, on occasion, even monsters.

Sheprians use a wide range of spices and herbs, but their cuisine is particularly known for its heavy reliance on oregano, garlic, juniper, turmeric, and even imported ginger and cinnamon. To add heat to their dishes, Sheprians favor both horseradish and radishes, especially a specific breed of radish renowned for its intensity. This radish is often sliced thinly and used as a condiment. In other Kishite regions, bards and comedic poets like to tell exaggerated tales of Sheprian children wandering the streets and hills, gnawing on mustard seeds, radishes, and whole pieces of horseradish. While these stories are clearly hyperbolic, there is some truth to the Sheprian preference for this type of heat. Interestingly, despite their love for pungent flavors, Sheprians rarely use black pepper or lisijir in their cooking.

Kilakela, or "Field and Forest," refers to a category of layered dishes that might best be described as casseroles. These dishes typically involve finely chopped meat—often pork or various game birds—combined with additional fat, usually lard or olive oil, along with root vegetables like beets and parsnips, onions, an array of spices, wine, and sometimes honey. The mixture is placed in a special clay vessel and buried under coals at the back of the oven, where it cooks slowly throughout the day, allowing the ingredients to become tender and flavors to meld. Once the day's baking and other cooking tasks are complete, the vessel is retrieved, and the resulting stew or casserole is served atop ruyi. A variation of Kilakela, known as Kilala, excludes meat and is instead a vegetable stew, often fortified with chickpeas or lentils to add heartiness.

Northerners are one of the few groups which consume mushrooms on a regular basis, evidently not holding the same fears and superstitions as their southern cousins. One dish banalligu, sees mushrooms, doused in vinegar and olive oil, cooked on a skewer often with various other ingredients, depending on what is available such as whole cloves of garlic, small onions, vegetables including carrots, beets, and cabbage, game (most often duck or venison) or pork belly, and sometimes figs. This is cooked directly on the dying coals of the oven, charring the mushrooms and other components. After cooking the ingredients are removed from the skewer and may either be eaten as is or be wrapped in thin flatbread similar to Chibalic lakibi before being topped with a variety of ingredients.

Sheprian food shows strong influence from more recent Shabalic trends, with both favouring stews and hearty meals typically composed of many ingredients.

5. The Southern coast: Kotsa

The Southern Coast consists of three regions; the southern deciduous forest, the scrubland, and the plains. The climate in the south is quite warm, with summers being hot and dry and winters mild in both temperature and rainfall. On rare occasions, the southern coast may experience heavy snowfall. 

Major cities are sparse however, many villages dot the southern coast, many of these villages rely on piracy, preying primarily on Apunian and Jezaani ships traveling to and from the Western Coast. The largest of the southern cities is Kotsa, founded on the ruins of a pre-Kishite civilization.

Kotsa is famed as the primary home of the Shobiashkun, a particular brand of priests and sages. While these priests are superficially said to serve the Deity of Writing and Knowledge, Shashuma (They are a minority, the largest temples in Kotsa belong to the storm God, Kotomah), in actuality this small collection of scholars and philosophers focus their interests on the Shobiash, the River of Creation and Time, thus looking behind the Heavenly Gods. A Shobiashku looks for patterns in existence, and seeks meaning and purpose in these patterns, typically through meditation or sometimes through drug assisted trances. The Shobiashku forgo sex, meat, and honey, save for in those instances in which those things may help with their musings. Numerous treatises pertaining to the nature of the universe, death, magic, and civil order have been produced by this small sect. Despite the fact that the Shobiashkun are a relatively small group, little more than 50 individuals at any time, they have had a major effect on the cuisine of Kotsa and the surrounding region. As a result Kotsa is one of the few regions with a significant vegetarian population, particularly among the learned elite.

Kotsa has one of the most defined elite cuisines, separated from that of the commoners not only by the ingredients used, but also by how that food is prepared and presented. Particularly among the nobility of Kotsa, eating and food is viewed with a level of spiritual and medicinal reverence. At the palatial court for example the supposed symbolism and medicinal boon of each dish is announced each time one of the many small courses is presented, with some courses comprising of only a couple of bites of food. At a Ceremonial Kotsian Banquet, bread is always served first, unseasoned and alone. Most often this is a dense barley bread, its hearty nature meant to represent the soil and stone. Next comes water, or more rarely, beer. This is followed by a number of dishes with various representations; A charred onion spiced with lisijir and ginger (Hagugura) to represent fire, a small cake made from sheep’s cheese and wheatberries to represent the fields (Jiribikip), a piece of roasted turnip spiced with cardamom and salt to represent the walls of the city (Elmuhi), etc. Wine is drunk sparingly throughout the meal and often watered down to an extreme level (sometimes to the equivalent of 16 parts water to one part wine.) In these particular dishes, spice is used sparingly as it is believed that using too many additional ingredients may in some way dampen the medicinal properties of the dish. Of course, such rigid dining is mostly indicative of ceremonial affairs or of the most rigidly traditional nobles, it does not represent all cuisine.

Outside of the world of ceremonial dining, Kotsian cuisine is known for its freshness and its love of spices, though its relative disdain for heat (lisijir, horseradish, radish, etc.) Cardamom, ginger, garlic, bay, turmeric, and saffron all appear regularly in Kotsian dishes. The South of Kishetal is famed as being one of the only places west of Sinria to have successfully planted and cultivated the cinnamon tree, with five small groves near Kotsa, accounting for nearly all Kishite Cinnamon. Cinnamon features in both savory and sweet dishes and may even be added to wine and beer. As a result, cinnamon appears in much of Kotsian cooking. One popular dessert, Jakeresha consists of a cake made from dates, cheese, and flour, wrapped in several layers of thin dough. This is then heavily seasoned in a mixture of ground cinnamon, honey, and sesame seeds. The savory version of this dish, Jakereshu replaces the dates typically with a mixture of mashed chickpeas and fava beans, and replaces the honey usually with oil, while retaining the heavy use of cinnamon.

Kotsian food is noteworthy among Kishite cuisines for its fragrance, due to its heavy use of aromatics. It is said the ruler of the country of Apuna, the Fapacha, once hired Kotsian cooks to work in his kitchens, only so that the smell of Kotsian food could perfume his halls.

Kotsian food doesn't seem to demonstrate any particular tendencies or preferences when it comes to cooking styles, with baking, sautéing, frying, and boiling all appearing. Aside from the Makurian Steppe region, and is the most distinct from other Kishite styles. In terms of preparation and ingredients, Kotsian and southern cuisine in general seems to have more in common with that of foreign lands like Jezaan and even Apuna, than it does with places like Labisa or Seha.

While vinegar does appear, it and its use in pickling and preservation are far less common than in other regions. Dried foods are common however, with fruits and vegetables and fish often dried on reed mats as a way to intensify flavor. For the purpose in general the treatment of meat within the Kotisan diet is similar to that of Seha, with meat being eaten only on rare occasions. When meat is served, it is typically done simply, roasted or boiled and cut into thin pieces. Sheep are the most common form of livestock, with significant cattle herds also being present. Horned-rabbits are relatively common, though not to the extent of the mountainous regions. Pigs are all but absent. Due to the relatively arid environment, game is also a relatively rare part of the diet, with the exception of gazelle.

Kotsians, and the south in general are famed for their love of yogurt, or Ishjir, often eaten as a mid-day meal, mixed with fruit or honey. Yogurt may also function as a condiment of sorts, with a variety of sauces comprised of yogurt mixed with various herbs and spices, utilized depending on the circumstance.

Fish is eaten regularly, particularly fish like seabream, which is often salted and left to dry. This dried fish is then stored and may be rehydrated in soups or else used as a travel food.

One dish that is unique to the region but that is quickly spreading both to other regions of Kishetal and to other parts of the Green Sea is Talakili which while its name literally translates to "flat bread" is actually more comparable to pasta, typically made from wheat flour mixed with water and oil, rolled flat, cut into either small squares or circles and then boiled and served with a variety of sauces. Talakili with salt, cheese, and cinnamon is a popular comfort food among Kotsian children.

6. The Kipsian Desert : Kipsa

The Kipsian Desert, with its rocky terrain and sparse vegetation, is the least populated regions of Kishetal, and is also the region with the largest pre-Kishite genetic and cultural influence. As a result, the Kipsian dialect of Kishite, is often quite difficult for other Kishites to understand as it is heavily influenced by other languages such as Mageryu and Duluqi. Despite these challenges, the city of Kipsa, the largest in the region, has cultivated a distinctive culinary tradition that reflects its unique environment and cultural heritage. Kipsa is well known for the ferocity of its warriors and as the center of rakeshim production. Rakeshim is a fabric, woven from thin strands of gold interwoven with either linen or silk. Its construction is incredibly complex and the secret to its creation, a jealously guarded secret among the five families which produce it.

Central to Kipsian cuisine is the use of local herbs and spices, hearty grains, and a pronounced affinity for sweetness. A defining feature of Kipsian cooking is the use of large subterranean ovens called Bahasayu. The Bahasayu enables slow, even cooking, ideal for preparing the region’s staple dishes. These ovens, essential for traditional cooking, are found in nearly every home, typical appearing either in courtyards or in front of homes. On rare occasions two or more homes may share one Bahasayu. When a couple marries, it is customary for them to dig a Bahasayu as part of claiming their new home. Additionally, in some cases, the remains of deceased ancestors are interred beneath these ovens, after their customary exposure to the elements, linking the living with their ancestors. Because these ovens are so central to domestic life, they are often the target of curses. A disgruntled Kipsian may place a or crack a curse tablet over a rival’s Bahasayu in order to bring them misfortune.

Kipsian cuisine uses many of the same spices and herbs as their Kotsian cousins, though with a distinct preference from cumin and coriander over cinnamon.

Due to the arid environment and lack of major irrigation, vegetable cultivation is relatively sparse, and what vegetables and fruits are available are often preserved in some way. Fresh vegetables are a luxury typically reserved for the wealthy. Rather Kipsian cuisine has come to rely on a particularly robust strain of barley. While it is able to withstand the dry and hot climate, this barley produces an often chewy and unpleasant product. As a result, Kipsian cuisine is often maligned for the poor quality of its bread and those that can afford it prefer to import wheat from the Felic Plains and Kotsa. One use of this otherwise unpleasant barley is Takuriha (stemming from the Duluqi language, meaning “beer soup”), a soup made from fermented grains mixed with yogurt and herbs and spices. The resulting dish is served cool or room temperature and is typically eaten after the sun has set. The soup is mildly alcoholic. Kipuhi, is a salad also featuring barley pearls mixed with chopped herbs, olive oil, and regalu juice. This may be supplemented with dried or shredded meats as well as chickpeas or other vegetables in order to create a more complete and hearty meal.

Kelami, a local variety of flatbread, is historically baked on hot stones or now more commonly, on the roof of the bahasayu. To counteract the quality of the barley, it is typically served with various dips and spreads, such as Muhamara, a rich paste made from roasted chickpeas, walnuts, and olive oil.

Cucumbers are beloved as a snack, particularly during the hotter season, as they are thought to cool the body. They are served typically in salad composed of cucumber, mint, vinegar, and garlic. When fresh cucumbers are not available, they are pickled in vinegar, alongside various herbs and spices. Pickled vegetables and meats, as well as bird’s eggs and fruits, are integral the Kipsian diet. Pickled vegetables and herbs often act as condiments of sorts, placed on the table to be added to other dishes. Pickled foods are so common that they typically act in place of vinegar as a topping.

Meat, though not a daily staple, is carefully prepared when used. Goats are the primary source of protein. One dish, Ishukjiraru, is a dish made with intentionally spoiled meat. Goat meat is packed in herbs, vinegar, and fat (typically rendered goat fat) inside of a large jar and is allowed to sit, sometimes for weeks at a time. The resulting product is cleaned and then utilized in a number of dishes, including stews and as a shredded meat added to salads and on flatbreads. The taste is quite sour and funky and can be an acquired taste. Kipsiansalso raise a unique breed of horned-rabbit well-suited to the desert environment. Heards of these wiry creatures can be seen roaming from bush to bush, guided by desert shepherds. Gukeki (from the Mageryu for “gift”), is served for special occasions, as its use of fresh vegetables make it a relative luxury. It is a vegetable stew made with ingredients like eggplant and onions, which is cooked in large clay pots and may also include the shredded goat, spinach, and other ingredients.

Honey is a prominent ingredient in Kipsian cuisine, the Kipsa itself being famed for its many hives. It is used as a condiment in various forms, including Habazibi, a salted and spiced variety with a hint of Lisijir for subtle heat. One result of this abundance of honey is the Kipsian love of mead and honeyed wine or beer. Kipsians have a reputation as heavy drinkers, drinking more of these beverages than any other Kishite people. The god of beer, Fepaha, is honored, and many banquets are dedicated to celebrating this drink.

Kipsians have a notable sweet tooth, with foods often heavily sweetened with honey or date syrup. Desserts such as Kepechi (the Kipsian equivalent of kipsha), barley cakes soaked in a honey and regalu syrup, and Gelukepi, a sweet treat made from slow-cooked fruits (primarily dates and figs), are popular and enjoyed with a strong tea made from mint and coriander, with “laughing leaf” a mild intoxicant, also occasionally added.

Kipsian food shows a heavy influence from indigenous cuisines.

7. The Makurian Steppe: Shebal

The Makurian steppe is massive, spreading over most of western Macia. Only a tiny sliver of that vast extent falls in Kishetal. Trees are almost entirely absent. Vast expanses of grass-covered hills define the area. To the north of the steppe is the Shabalic forest, and to the south is the Jezaaic desert. The largest of the Makurian cities is Shebal, once the homeland of the Ugri Tribe, the city still is the target of many repeated attacks by Makurian tribes. Despite its remoteness, silver mines and soil rich in gems, have made Shebal uncharacteristically rich, particularly considering that it is the least populous of all the regional "capitals".

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Shebalian cuisine takes heavy inspiration from that of the western Makurian tribes. This translates to a cuisine heavily built on the consumption of meat and dairy, and a prevalence towards soups and stews. It is said derisively of the Shebalians, that they eat horse meat stew for dinner and horse bone soup for dessert. It is true that the Shebalians, and the people of the east in general, are the only region of Kishetal in which horse and donkey/ass are eaten regularly. Meat, cheese, and milk from these animals are eaten in large quantities. Despite this the Shebalians are known for their deep connection with the horses, famed as charioteers and riders. The slaughtering of a horse is a sober affair, typically attended to by a priest of the god Ikeshpaha (the God of wealth and the steppe) and undertaken with the utmost care. The first dish to be prepared from the horse or ass, is Jabolibi a thick porridge consisting of blood as well as either wheat berries or rice. This is typically consumed by warriors, kings, and pregnant women.

Shebalians and eastern Kishites in general eat more dairy than any other Kishites, with cheese, yogurt, butter, milk, and various fermented curd products accounting for much of the diet. Jiraba is a variety of curd, first heavily fermented and then dried until hard and crunchy. This is then crushed and sprinkled on other dishes.

Fresh vegetables are rare as the environment is ill-suited to agricultural, as a result most vegetables are imported from the west or from lands to the south. As a result of this, green vegetables with short shelf-lives are highly rare and are seen as a delicacy. Root vegetables like carrots, beets, turnips, and parsnips are common and appear often in Shebalian dishes or may be served as a side. Shebalians cuisine does make use of lentils as their primary legume of choice.

One food item unique to Shebal and the surrounding area, is rice. Rice is an import from the east, typically carried over vast miles by traders from Sinria, Mu, and other places. The palace buys vast quantities of rice and use it often as a form of payment. Rice is steamed and served with meat, butter, and spices, or else may be added to broths to make them hearty and filling.

The Origins of Rice in Shebal According to legend the origins of rice in Shebal come from not long after the foundation of Kishetal by the demigod Tamel. The first king of Shebal, then a vassal of Tamel, was Haman the Thrice-Bearded. Haman had one son, Hiru the Brilliant. Said to be blessed with all the radiance of the silver of the steppe, it is typically agreed among scholars and poets that Hiru was the most beautiful of all Kishites. His statues and images can be found throughout Kishetal, and particularly in the east. Said to have the strength and size of a great warrior, and the face of a lovely maiden, many flocked to see Hiru. Men and women alike from countless nameless land, travelled many miles, bearing gifts of gold and silver, perfume and spice, to marry or just to sit with the beautiful prince. Even spirits and forestfolks came before him, the dragon, Eker, offered the entirety of the land of Ukat just to have the beautiful prince in his home. Those that were not cowed by his beauty, plead and promised him wealth, love, and many children. They sang of his beauty. Hiru, however refused all gifts, and turned away all suitors, for all they could see was his beauty.

One day the Sinrian King, Jiparitu (Juparvi in his own tongue) came to play his own card, wishing for Hiru to be his lover and cupholder. Jiparitu, who the called The Mount of Rendigra (A Sinrian Thunder God), was the son of the Demigod, Ranaya. He was broad as an ox, the hands like bear paws. He was great warrior who had killed his 5 older brothers in battle for the right to sit upon the throne of his father's city. He presented the youth with the three elephants, ten rolls of silk, five pounds of saffron, and three golden statues, each as large as a man. Yet, Hiru refused. Enraged, Jiparitu stormed from the palace, only to return later that night, along with his plantbrew. They drugged Hiru and ferried him away, over the steppe and the high mountain, to his palace in Sinria. There he bedecked the prince in flowers and silks, and cherished his beauty, and made him his lover, though unwilling. But soon he grew jealous as he saw the looks of awe and lust on the faces of his servants and court. And so he had Hiru's face, bound tight in cords of silk and wool, locked with chains of bronze and copper, so that none could look upon his face but he. He ordered that his body be covered in filth and dressed , save for when it came time for the king to look upon him, so that no other could see his treasure. He then locked the prince in a tower of white stone and gold.

When King Haman heard of his son's abduction, he marched, joined by his brother's the rulers of Bur and Kutar, and 67 of Hiru's former suitors and their men to the lands of king Jiparitu. There they laid siege to the castle for 67 days, and on each day, it is said that one of the suitors was killed. While the siege raged outside Hiru remained trapped in his tower, his only company being wicked Jiparitu and the slave, Safeniri (Savanri in her own tongue). Both could enter the tower only by an entrance, hidden so that none but they could find it. Safeniri, a peasant girl, born of two rice farmers, fed him scraps of the jungle fowl (chicken), crusts of bread, and green leaves, for these are all that Jiparitu permitted he be fed, lest the beauty of his body be marred by fat. And yet, in secret, she also brought to him, a porridge, made from rice, cinnamon, milk, waweshi (sugar, native to the kingdoms of Sinria, but quite rare in Kishetal) and coconut which she called kerumipiya (Kerumpaja in her native tongue) as well as bowls of rice and butter, for this is all that she, a slave, could afford. She had never seen Hiru's face, and knew nothing of his famed beauty. Hiru longed for her company, and though he had never seen her face, blinded as he was by the cloth around his face, he began to fall in love with her, and she with him. When word of the siege reached the ears of Hiru and Safeniri, together they concocted a plan to free Hiru and to return him to his father. Outside of the tower, in great bunches, grew "laughing leaf" which dulls the mind and weakens the balance. Its effects are strong but its taste is bitter. When next Jiparitu came into his tower to gaze upon his treasure, Safeniri waited there with Hiru. As always Jiparitu insisted that his guards wait outside of the tower, lest they recieve the pleasure of gazing upon Hiru's beauty. It was only as Jiparitu ordered the clothes removed and the filth wiped away, that Safeniri finally saw him truly. And though she was awed, she had already long since fell in the love with the imprisoned prince.

Though still handsome beyond measure, his face had been marked by seven cuts where the cloth had been bound too tight, and from then on he was known as Hiru of the Seven Scars. While Jiparitu marveled over his captive, Safeniri approached him and offered him a bowl of the kerumipiya, one which she had tainted with the laughing leaf, its bitterness covered by the sweet sugar and milk. The king ate and as he ate, he became joyous and wild. So wild that he spilled the rice upon his fine clothes. Safeniri then suggested that the king undress, less his expensive clothing be ruined by his rice. And so he did, undressed down to his undergarments, his heavy robe falling at his feet. And Safeniri sang and pounded upon the bottom of the clay pot like a drum. Saferniri then opened the door, beyond which were the stairs which spiralled up the tower. Jiparitu danced, entranced by her beautiful voice. His feet became tangled in his discarded robe, and his mind too clouded to stop himself, he fell, tumbling down the hundred stairs of the tower, until he lie at the bottom, dead. Saferniri then took the kings discarded robe, and tore the jewels and gold from it, she smeared it with filth and grime, until it looked like a beggars cape. This she covered Hiru in and guided him down the tower and through the secret entrance. When they people looked, they saw only a peasant woman, guiding a beggar, his face hidden.

She lead him past the city walls, to where his father and uncles sat in their camp, bereft, for the last of the suitors had been slain by arrow and sling. King Haman was so joyous upon seeing his son that he fell to his knees and sang praises to the gods of Kishetal and the Steppe. And yet he was shocked, when the first words that Hiru spoke to him, were to say that he had found a wife. Haman was scandalized by the suggestion that his son, the prince, would marry a slave girl. He demanded to know what Safeniri’s family could possibly offer to warrant such a union with one as magnificent and beautiful as Hiru when all other suitors had offered gold, silver, and land. Love and rice, was all that Safeniri could offer. Haman was unimpressed by this seemingly simple answer.

Determined to prove her worth, Safeniri crept back into the city, and returned to her home. With the help of her parents, prepared a pot of kerumipiya, the finest ever made. They used fruit plucked from the trees, milk fresh from the cow, and sugar as white as snow. When she presented this exceptional dish to Haman and his brothers, they were astonished by its exquisite taste, unlike anything they had ever eaten. Haman, along with his brothers, was deeply moved by the dish and by Hiru's story of Safeniri's cunning and dedication. Relenting, he agreed that a spouse capable of creating such a remarkable meal deserved to be wed to his son. However, he imposed one condition: Safeniri was to see that Hiru was presented with a bowl of kerumipiya every day until he was guided into the next life. The wedding that followed was a grand celebration. To meet Haman's stipulation, rice and other eastern goods were brought from distant lands to Shebal. Soon, rice, and particularly kerumipiya, became symbols of wealth and love, often featured at weddings. When Haman passed away, Hiru ascended to the throne and ruled with wisdom and kindness, particularly towards slaves and captives. Safeniri honored her promise, and upon Hiru’s death, it was said that she joined him on the very same day. Many stories of both Hiru and Safeniri now fill Kishite Folklore, with the wisdom of Safeniri being particularly renowned. Many queens and princesses, particularly those in the east of Kishetal may take the title Lusafeniri or "Of Safeniri/ Safeniri-Like" in order to emphasis their wisdom and prowess.

In Shebal today, while still reliant on imported rice, kerumipiya has adapted to local ingredients. Instead of sugar and coconut, it’s sweetened with honey and flavored with dried fruits such as figs and apricots, and often uses horse or donkey milk as opposed to cow milk. A sprinkle of ground cinnamon might be added for extra flavor. Kerumipiya is commonly eaten as a dessert, or during special occasions. It remains a popular dish at weddings and many lovesick youths may try to woe potential partners with a steaming bowl. Rice is often used a sacrifice to the god of wealth, Ikeshpaha, its many grains believed to represent plenty. Rice sprinkled around the house is believed to ward of wicked spirits, and disease as it is believed that it "absorbs" evil.

One benefit of its eastern location is that Shebal and the surrounding cities are often the first to receive exotic spices carried from Mu and Sinria, often at far less cost than their western cousins. This is led to a cousin, which well simplistic at first glance, is highly complex in its flavors. Soups such as the goat-based, Habisichiarsoni (The Soup that Awakens the Sleeping God) may use dozens of different spices including turmeric, cumin, pepper (long and black), mustard, cardamom, lime leaf, etc, in a complex and masterful way. Easterners who journey to the west, well excited by the access to wheat and vegetables, often bemoan the perceived blandness, with only Sehaic food being seen as "properly spiced". Shebalian cuisine's heavy use of lisijir and other spices make it perhaps the only cuisine which could be considered "spicy" by Earthly standards.

Another quirk of Shebalian cuisine and of the steppe is that it is the only region which prefers butter as its primary fat, this has earned easterners the somewhat derogatory nickname "butter-eaters" by their western cousins, where the use of butter is often viewed as barbaric. Butter is often used as a condiment, melted and added to soups, bread or other dishes.

The diet of the Shebalians is the least reliant on bread of any Kishite culture, with some families going several days without eating bread. When bread is consumed, it often uses rye, rather than the barley or wheat preferred on the other side of the mountains. The result is dense and nutty and works well with the fatty and meaty cuisine of the steppe. Errikili is a knotted bread made from rye flour, often noted for its somewhat phallic appearance. It is typically used to dip in soups, or else may be eaten with butter and imported spices.

Talakili has become increasingly common in Shebalian cuisine, imported from Kotsa. In Shebal it is often added to soups and broths and is thicker and heartier then its southern equivalent. One particular rendition of Shebalian Talakili called Irkipikiki (literally "pregnant thing") is stuffed with meat and cheese, somewhat similar to a ravioli.

While still identifiably Kishite in its presentation and cooking styles, the components of Shebalian cuisine are largely foreign. Its base ingredients are of the Makurian steppe, while its use of spice shows heavy influence from the lands of the Great Southern Kingdoms (Baban and Ukkaria), Sinria, and even lands far to the east like Pya, Mu, and Xianti.

And that's that! A pretty barebones explanation of the differences between the cuisines of different parts of Kishetal. Let me know if you have any other questions about any of these cuisines/dishes! Maybe one day I'll do something similar with the regional cuisines of places like Korithia, Shabala, Pyria, and Apuna.

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[possessionisamyth]

fic idea notes i wont write a full story of because yall are not getting me back into writing for one piece BUT

Pre-timeskip/post thousand sunny acquisition where Sanji gets injured and he's in a coma for a few weeks. Everyone visits him but Usopp visits him the most because he can finally talk to sanji without feeling like he's going to say the wrong thing. Sure they ended on a good note getting back together but even after thriller bark that doubt remains.

Anyway, he proceeds to talk to Sanji about anything and everything. He feels as relaxed as he did talking to Sanji before the whole Enies Lobby, and it's nice. Usopp gets bolder as the days go by. He starts making little requests about food adjustments like "maybe an extra pepper or two because he loves spicy food" and saying Sanji looks good in his patterned shirts and maybe they should match. And there's no "haha just kidding just a joke" follow up comment because it's not like Sanji can hear him.

Usopp then gets even bolder and whispers very quietly in Sanji's ear that he loves him before dashing out. At the lack of Sanji waking up the next day, him saying "I love you" to Sanji as he leaves becomes routine. No, practice actually. Just in case he ever gets the courage to say it to Sanji's face when he's awake. "Fat chance of that," Usopp tells himself. The love declarations get a little more dramatic or silly or painfully sincere like "I love you more than grilled pike," or "I love you as much as you love getting nosebleeds over nothing," or ""I love you so much sometimes it hurts," and Usopp doesn't really stop.

Then the next day Sanji wakes up. And Usopp visits him. And they talk, Usopp acting completely carefree and Sanji kind of subdued just retelling Chopper's orders. Sanji can be back on his feet in the kitchen tomorrow and Usopp praises him for it. As their conversation comes to a close, Usopp gets ready to leave and Sanji asks him to wait. So it goes:

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Sanji asks, hands folded in his blanket covered lap.

Usopp is reasonably confused. He was pretty sure he hadn't brought anything with him except his sketchbook. Which was tucked under his arm. "Forgot what?"

Sanji looks wounded for a split second before he turns his head away and says, "Nevermind."

"Oh, okay." Usopp wondered if Sanji was going to be like that for a while. He hoped his friend's time asleep didn't leave any negative effects.

So Usopp leaves. And Sanji gets back to work. But Sanji's heart doesn't seem to be in it as much? Even Nami says he seems kind of mopey. Everyone initially blames it on the head injury. Maybe it mellowed him out? The love cook nonsense sort of stopped so isn't that an improvement? Not really. It's Sanji, but it's not Sanji. Nami even lays it on extra thick when it comes to her drink or dessert requests, and she gets him to smile briefly before he's agreeing and walking away with his hands in his pockets. No heart eyes. Not a twirl. Something is very deeply wrong.

There are other crew members who are paying attention to the subtle bids happening during this. Like the long looks Sanji gives Usopp when he's sure no one's looking. Or how with snack requests Usopp's treats look, well, nicer.

Usopp does not notice this. At all!!!!! He thanks Sanji with the same levels of enthusiasm he always has, but his smile falters when Sanji looks at him as if waiting for something. It's then that Sanji tends to retreat to a chore or something that needed to be done in the kitchen. Usopp begins wondering how true the sudden reason for fleeing is, but not enough to say anything. He's still thinking the head injury had some small lasting effect. Couldn't be anything else.

Until they're eating dinner, and Usopp's perfect meal is perfect, but Luffy snags some and makes a face. Luffy claims it's way spicier than what he got. Usopp is confused. Robin asks to taste a bit which he lets her and she agrees that Usopp's plate, which looks like the other men's plates, is spicier in comparison. Luffy whines to Sanji about so it goes:

"How come Usopp's food is so hot?!" Luffy said with ice cubes stuffed in his cheeks.

Sanji looked annoyed at being interrupted during his conversation with Brook. "Because he made a request."

"What? No fair! I want to request more meat on my plate!"

"Request denied," he replied and returned to his conversation which Franky had decided to join.

Usopp was left pondering with his fork ready to deter Luffy's hand from taking another sample off his plate. When had he requested spicier food? He never bothered asking for adjustments to his meals. He liked how Sanji made everything, and usually if there was room for adjustments Sanji would ask him. Not the other way around.

Of course, this is when it hits Usopp that he made that request when Sanji was unconscious. When Sanji was unconscious and shouldn't have heard anything at all he was saying. What else did he hear? WHAT ELSE DID HE HEAR???!?? Usopp being one of the most reasonable members of the crew does the mature thing and runs away to his workshop after finishing his meal. Yes, he finished his food first. No, that had nothing to do with his realization. He just had something he needed to attend to in his shop before it exploded. Yeah, that's his excuse, er, reason! His reason!

He doesn't catch the look on Sanji's face as he leaves going from distraught to frustrated. He puddles over his huge gigantic irreparable mistake in his workshop. Clearly, he needed to apologize to Sanji. He needed to say Sanji had no obligation to be nicer to him while he tried to figure out how to deny Usopp's feelings gently. It all made sense. That's why Sanji was so subdued the last week post recovery. He wanted to let Usopp down gently without jeopardizing their friendship, but he was struggling with what words to use or when to tell him.

He settles for biting the bullet himself. He's used to disappointment. It wasn't fair putting all that pressure on Sanji while he recovered. He'd sweep up some of that bravado, joke off his feelings, and everything would get back to normal. Simple. Yet, putting on that bravado was more difficult than getting up at the ass crack of dawn to catch Sanji alone in the kitchen. It's a small mercy he was too anxious to get any real sleep. He would've missed his window other wise.

Usopp catches Sanji in the kitchen making bread dough, and it's awkward. The dough hits the counter with heavy thuds, and Usopp feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest to the same rhythm. So he thanks Sanji about his request and then he jokes. He jokes and denies all the things he said unless they were funny, then he makes them funnier. He almost gets to the point of telling Sanji not to worry and that he understands but the beating of the dough stops. All of Usopp's instincts are telling him to run, but his legs will not move. Sanji purposefully moves to stand by Usopp in a way that blocks the exit. So it goes:

"Say it." Sanji's arms are crossed under his chest. His apron is dusted with flour as is the skin above his wrists. Although there wasn't a hair out of place, the stare he leveled on Usopp told the sniper he'd reached his patience quota.

Yet, Usopp still tested the waters because he could be a little stupid. "S-s-say what?"

Sanji's eye narrowed, but he didn't frown. Then he did frown. Then he looked away and his arms dropped to his sides like he'd given up.

A ridiculous thing right? Sanji didn't really give up on anything, and seeing him like that...

"I love you," Usopp said despite the lurch of all his insides feeling like they were going to become outsides. Wow. Horrible anxiety on two hours of sleep was not a great combination.

And Sanji looks at him so fast his bangs reveal his other eye for a split second. He looks hopeful. Like he's lit up, which emboldens Usopp to say it again. Suddenly he's being hugged. Sanji is hugging him very tightly and pressing his face into Usopp's shoulder and saying the endearment back with such sincerity Usopp is sure he's dreaming. But he's not dreaming, because he's crying and hugging Sanji back. And oh yeah, those are the ugly tears and he should really carry his not work handkerchief with him more often.

To everyone's misfortune relief, Sanji is no longer moping. Love Cook mode is back times 100, and a new shift of Usopp also being subjected to the treatment is both extremely embarrassing and endearing for their resident sniper. With the development comes Usopp being shooed out of the kitchen almost as much as he's invited in because "you're too kissable! ill burn the food with you around" being said as often as "how am I supposed to cook without my angel nearby". One of these days Nami is going to toss them both overboard for being too mushy.

[purplemninja]

Little Nightmares hot takes

[Feel free to comment or reblog with hot takes of your own]

Someone on the LN subreddit asked for people's hot takes and I commented a bunch of spicy ones that I have, which I will copy and paste here (though the last one will have something added to it):

1- People who say that Mono is an uwu-softboi or portray him as such are awful and are doing him a disservice. Like, you can not look at his battle against the Thin Man and pretend that he's a pacifist, not to mention the other kills he made in-game. His fight against the Thin Man and moving the tower towards himself is his most badass moment and these rougher edges to him make him a much more interesting character. So by taking that away and acting like he wouldn't hurt a fly really doesn't do Mono's character and arc any favours, it just ruins it, so people have seriously got to stop thinking that he's a 'pwecious widdle angel' when he clearly isn't, especially when it hurts his character and story.

2- I'm pretty sure that people are expecting this one but the fandom needs to lay off Six, and way the fandom makes it so that Six must either be totally good or totally bad and is not allowed to be morally grey (in between) is so irritating. Just like with Mono, taking away Six's rough edges or smooth ones hurt her character and make her way less interesting. Also no surprise that I say this but the way that the anti-Six people treat her is so awful.

3- In addition to what I said about the golden child Mono stans in number 1, the way that the FNAF books treat Henry is very much like how the fandom treats Mono - only his suffering matters, screw everyone else. Or some go even stupider and treat all of the characters in LN except Six sort of in the same way that the FNAF books treat Henry, basically like "Six and her suffering? She should shut up and suck it up" or even going as far to say that she deserves her suffering. While just about all the other characters (Mono most especially) have their suffering dealt with a gentle hand.

4- I'm pretty sure this is ghost-pepper level spicy but it's so dumb that the fandom claims that Roger is nice. Like bruh, he literally has blood stains on his vest, chases kids, you can hear one that he catches whimpering as he takes them away, wraps them up to be taken to the kitchen, and there's a bloody guillotine in vicinity. Just because he doesn't kill Six or RK on-screen means he's nice? What?

5- They should've made a LN2 DLC where you play the game as Six and get to see her perspective of everything that happened, especially that scene. Make them step out of their Mono/Thin Man tunnel vision and focus on Six and her suffering too for a change instead of making Mono's overshadow everything.

6- Six being the Lady would be disappointing AF and lazy that they're recycling Mono's fate. I'd be better off if Six was the next Lady and not the same one encountered in LN1, but I still prefer a different way for her story to go (or maybe make my new depressing interpretation of her ending (where she's not the lady but is still stranded at sea with no innocence or humanity left, making everything she went through all be for nothing in the end) the actual ending for her).

Plus, you're telling me that the remaining staff on the Maw (The Twin Chefs) were like "Oh, this kid that we tried to murder earlier is our boss now" and Six is like "Oh, I'm not going to kill these guys who tried to add me to the menu earlier. Plus I'll hire an exact copy of the Janitor and get a replacement for the one and only mirror I was able to fight the Lady with since it broke and try to board it up in the same room that I found it in. Yeah, it tooootaaaally would prevent another me from being able to get it in the exact same way that I did".

Not only that but they also put a child in charge of dealing with other business-related stuff on the Maw like shipments of coal and vegetables (or maybe someone else did that)? So stupid.

7- Runaway Kid's name is not seven!

8- The ridiculous double standards of self defence. Why are Mono and Runaway Kid allowed to defend themselves from monsters trying to kill them but Six isn't?

Mono - Smashes a bunch of bullies, pulls the trigger on the gun to shoot the Hunter, beats some living hands to death, probably burns the Doctor alive, kills some viewers by electrocuting them to death or luring them off of a ledge, and probably broke every bone in Thin Man's body before Thanos Snapping him.

Fandom - Eh.

RK - Electrocutes the Granny to death and disintegrates the Shadow Kids with his torch.

Fandom - Whatever

Six- Helps Mono shoot the same Hunter that kidnapped her and locked her in his basement (and she didn't take the gun off the hooks, Mono did), kills one bully after being kidnapped, tortured and hung upside down by them for who knows how long (which will eventually kill you), cuts off Roger's arms with a door when she was cornered, eats a rat when there's no other food nearby, eats a Nome instead of a sausage that she knows is made of human flesh, eats the Lady when there's no other food anywhere, and kills some guests who are reaching over to try and eat her on her way out of the Maw.

Fandom - Monster.

Now, I'm not saying that what Six did was good or what the boys did was evil, but people have to stop acting like it's okay for one character to kill to save their own lives but not the other.

9- This stems more from a certain artist that I won't name to avoid people going to harass them, but on top of the self defence standards, people also have to stop with the double standards of bad things happening to a character due to another character's actions. What I mean with this is that while yes, Mono had no way of knowing that Thin Man was behind the door and getting Six kidnapped by him was a mistake, that does not, however, undo the fact that Six still got kidnapped or that her kidnapping is not that big a deal all because it was an accident on Mono's part. Especially when people won't give Six the same leniency when it comes to Mono becoming the Thin Man. Six had no way of knowing that Mono would survive the fall, let alone him being stuck in a room on a chair for decades and turning into the Thin Man, yet that is a big deal despite her not knowing but her kidnapping isn't because it's also an accident?

And lastly,

10- Another ghost-pepper level spicy but AUs where Six pulls Mono up yet all the suffering she has to go through before that is 100% the same as in-game makes her a way, waaaayyyy better person than Mono. This goes double for AUs where Six realises that he's the Thin Man (you know, her kidnapper and tormentor) but decides to pull him up anyway. Like, Mono as Thin Man decides to kidnap and torture an innocent version of Six, cursing her with the hunger and making the child Mono have to torture her to save her, but Six decides to pull him up despite all of the pain he put her through. Even more so when she realises that he is her kidnapper. That makes her a much better person that him. Though it also makes her kind of spineless. I'm not saying that she should drop him, but in-game the player can abuse Six in some ways (running when holding her hand, which makes her stumble, throwing stuff at her, bash her with weapons (even if they don't do anything to her) getting her to fall off of stuff (yes, she respawns or teleports, but still), blinding her with the torch) but not once does Six retaliate until Mono attacks the music box, making her a bit of a doormat TBH. Yet some people in the fandom portray Mono as the doormat instead, it's like the fandom goes out of its way to get Mono and Six as backwards as possible.

Additionally, fan content where Mono doesn't apologise for getting Six kidnapped in the first place, or torturing her during his fight against her monster self makes him a huge jerk. Like, this girl has to suffer because of his actions (unintentional, perhaps. But as I said, that doesn't make the pain Six suffered go away or not matter) and he doesn't even have the decency to at least say sorry for the hurt he caused her? It pleases me whenever there's fan content where he does apologise, because not being sorry for hurting Six makes him a huge jerk.

It's long, but those are my hot takes.