#It's like 2019-2021 all over again >///<< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[alola03]

I've been drawing fluffy selfship stuff with you know who. Girl Help what year is it??

[voulezloux]

tw abuse in the tags

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Uh-oh. This is bad

[drivemysoul]

i’m in a midnight rain/right where you left me/antihero/castles crumbling/the archer/evermore mood today

[chase-solidago]

Invasive Species and Xenophobia

Invasive species are complicated! People have a lot of feelings about them, positive and negative. Are plants that move "invaders" "colonizing", "immigrants", "citizens"? What does it mean to kill species that are from somewhere else? What if that species legitimately makes a poor neighbor and causes extinctions in other, native species? This complex, culturally-loaded issue is a foundational issue behind a lot of plant conservation and restoration.

This is a juicy and still actively disputed topic! The Guardian recently had a big article on colonialism in Botany, (tbh her views are dated and reductive, imo) and it’s come up again this week, to much hostility (cw: reddit). Yes, my region's native plant restoration came from literal nazis, but also, the impacts of some invasive species are real, not figments of a racist imagination. How do we balance these issues? What does ethical invasive management look like?

Since it’s such a juicy topic, I wanted to offer a few fun readings to share:

The Native Plant Enthusiasm: Ecological Panacea or Xenophobia?, Gert Gröning and Joachim Wolschke-Bulmahn, 2004, Arnoldia.

THE CLASSIC 20th century German nazis and native plants paper. Made a huge splash when it came out, and you will still encounter people who paint all native plant stuff with this brush. Summary: yeah the nazis loved their native plants and used them as part of their conquering process. Also, the first prairie plantings ever, located in Chicago, were done by a racist probable-nazi for racist reasons, full stop. I’ll let him speak for himself: “The gardens that I created myself shall… be in harmony with their landscape environment and the racial characteristics of its inhabitants. They shall express the spirit of America and therefore shall be free of foreign character as far as possible… the Latin and the Oriental crept and creeps more and more over our land, coming from the South, which is settled by Latin people, and also from other centers of mixed masses of immigrants. The Germanic character of our race, of our cities and settlements was overgrown by foreign character. The Latin spirit has spoiled a lot and still spoils things every day.” - Jens Jensen

Botanical decolonization: rethinking native plants, Tomaz Mastnak, 2014, Environment and Planning D: Society and Space

Rather than viewing native plant plantings as an act of racially-pure occupation, Mastnak positions native plants in California as a decolonization of the sub/urban lawn. Uses a lot of quotations from 16th century English philosopher Francis Bacon, and is heavy on the philosophical musings.

From killing lists to healthy country: Aboriginal approaches to weed control in the Kimberley, Western Australia by Bach et al., 2019, Journal of Environmental Management.

This paper talks through some of the native vs invasive debate, and offers a different perspective on how to approach to plant invasive management based on cultural relations, rather than country of origin or behavior.

Beyond ‘Native V. Alien’: Critiques of the Native/alien Paradigm in the Anthropocene, and Their Implications, Charles R. Warren, 2021, Ethics, Policy, & Environment

DENSE but thorough, if you want to follow the entire history of the native/invasive debate, this has you covered. The most interesting stuff, in my opinion, is the discussion of invasive denialism, IE: the impasse of “You’re just being racist!” Vs “You know nothing about ecology!” I recommend the Discussion, which starts on page 13.

[w2soneshots]

Over the years -W2S

warnings: mentions of pregnancy.

summary: your and Harry’s relationship each year from twenty-sixteen to now through instagram posts.

notes: hello lovelies! For once this isn’t a request, thought of it all busy myself🙂‍↕️. I used Bella Hadid for the face claim (I usually don’t use just one person but it made sense for this)🫶🏼. Also, omfg did this take ages… one thousand photos and a week later I’m finally finished! Don’t forget to reblog and enjoy💞✨

2016... the year you became boyfriend and girlfriend

Liked by miniminter, zerkaa and others

y/username: love youuu @wroetoshaw

-comments-

wroetoshaw: love you more

-> y/username: 😋❤️

tobjizzle: ay! happy for u 2!

-> y/username: ty Tobes!!

y/nfanpage21: cuteeeee oh my gosh🫂

user: my two worlds colliding

y/username posted a new story!

2017... your first big holiday as a couple

wroetoshaw posted a new story!

Liked by wroetoshaw, freyanightingale and others

y/username: Italy🍝✨🇮🇹

-comments-

callux: looks sick, hope you had a great time!

-> y/username: we diddd! best pizza ever😌

y/nfanpage21: this is adorable💞

user: Harry in the unicorn floaty lol

2018... festival season

Liked by calfreezy, behzingagram and others

y/username: drunk, covered in glitter and hot, but ready for some bangin music!🤸‍♂️☀️🍺

-comments-

wroetoshaw: definitely hot😉🔥

-> y/username: lmao smooth

reevhd: vibes = immaculate

y/nfanpage21: outfit on FLEEK🤭

user: she's so perfect for Harry omg

y/username posted a new story!

2019... London and the boys

wroetoshaw posted a new story!

Liked by tobjizzle, mollymae and others

y/username: 19 you've been good to me, see you all next year!!🎆

-comments-

wroetoshaw: ⛷️

taliamar: gorggg!💓

-> y/username: mwah😚

y/nfanpage21: I live for y/n with the sidemen boys

user: she's the original icon⭐️

2020... the virus

Liked by ksi, wroetoshaw and others

y/username: haven't posted in awhile, here's a few very uninteresting photos from my week🥞🤍 stay safe everyone and please STAY INSIDE!

-comments-

calfreezy: daily runs entered the chat

-> y/username: running buddy 4 life🏃‍♀️

y/nfanpage21: ahh we've missed you girly!!😭

user: Harry and his biohazard bag against the world

y/username posted a new story!

2021... new beginnings

Liked by behzingagram, taliamar and others

y/username: a random dog turned up on our front step today (he has been safely returned to his owner dw🐶), pleaseee can someone convince @wroetoshaw that this is a sign we should get a puppy😫🙏

-comments-

wroetoshaw: brilliant, now my dm's are filled with people asking if your pregnant (also no puppy)

-> y/username: omg shit, forgot to specify that that's my FOOD baby vs Faiths ACTUAL baby🤣 (we're getting a puppy)

faithlouisak: love u wifey

-> y/username: 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

y/nfanpage21: she's so unserious lmao the first and second pic

y/username posted a new story!

2022... the year he finally popped the question

Liked by sidemen, joeweller and others

y/username: we're engaged!! enjoy this dump from our week away, where I had NO idea I was going to become a fiancé hehehe💍💓

-comments-

wroetoshaw: only took me 7 years

-> y/username: not bad for you tbf babes😌🫶

tobjizzle: congrats again guys❤️

freyanightingale: AHHH! unbelievably happy for you y/n🥹💝

y/nfanpage21: our fav couples growing up

user: HE'S DONE IT!!!!

y/username posted a new story!

2023... bride and groom

Liked by chrismd10, wroetoshaw and others

y/username: random photos from my week + wedding prep commences!💫💝

-comments-

faithlouisak: SHE'S GETTING FUCKING MARRIED!!!🥳

-> y/username: hehe thank you once again for the cake girl, smashed the brief

callux: exiting stuff😯

y/nfanpage21: makeup... ate. hair... ate. cake... they ate it.

user: I can't WAIT to see what dress she picks

y/username posted a new story!

2024... the year you became mummy and daddy

Liked by wroetoshaw, dualipa and others

y/username: counting down the days until we meet baby girl...🎀🌟

-comments-

ksi: can't wait to spoil her😁

-> y/username: uncle JJ incoming...

faithlouisak: your GLOWING mama💕

y/nfanpage21: the book🥺

user: two youngest sidemen having a kid before the others lol💁‍♀️

y/username posted a new story!

2025... the life you've always dreamed of

y/username posted a new story!

Liked by zerkaa, faithlouisak and others

y/username: right where I want to be💌

-comments-

wroetoshaw: my beautiful girls

-> y/username: love u💞

taliamar: brill, got Mushu trying to eat my strawberry😂

-> y/username: he stood there for a good ten minutes, bless him. maybe next time buddy🥲🐕

y/nfanpage21: oh... to have her life

user: fun fact: this was posted exactly nine years from their first couple post, how cute❤️‍🩹

[insecateur]

i wasn't going to post about this here but my post on mastodon got a lot of traction and i figure it's better to spread it as much as i can just in case anyone has information so...

in early 2015 or late 2014, i purchased a lion glass cup from a japanese import store. i've taken great care to make sure it didn't get damaged, until yesterday, just bumping my hand against it, it toppled over on the wooden table and broke… i'd really like to find it again.

here's all the information i can provide about it:

on japanese websites, glass cups in that style are labelled "showa retro" (昭和レトロ). they are sometimes described as having a "café" aesthetic (and in fact, i've found evidence that two of these cups, including raionsan, are being used in at least one japanese café.) they're part of a series featuring 5 different animals: a giraffe (kirinsan) a penguin (penginsan) a rabbit (usagisan) a panda (pandasan) and the lion i'm looking for (raionsan). they've been sold at seria and (possibly, unsure) other 100¥ stores in japan, as well as various japanese import stores around the world, online and offline. at this point in my search, i can say with 99% certainty that the cups originate from seria japan. i've found evidence of them being sold at seria in japan as late as december 2020, in import stores as late as 2019, online also as an import as late as 2021, and of people owning it or other cups from this series as early as 2009. it doesn't have a specific brand or name associated to it, although some labels group them under "animal land" or "animal glass assortment" (動物ランド, 動物グラス アソート) but searching those terms leads to nothing afaict. sometimes, they're also called "tumblers" (タンブラー)

since making my original posts about this, and searching on my own, i've found a penguin cup from that same series has been sold secondhand on mercari jp earlier this month, and someone found a listing for two of the giraffe cups on ebay, so i'm cautiously optimistic. i'm tracking "raionsan" and "raionsan glass" on my bf's ebay account and keeping an eye on aggregate websites (like fromjapan) that let you order from various japanese secondhand and auction sites. i've also been looking up keywords on yahoo auction.

i honestly don't even care how much money someone would want for it, i just want to own it again. ideally i'd love two so i can use one and display the other, but mostly i just want raionsan back. if you have any information or have spotted it anywhere, please let me know! thank you. people have been so helpful and nice about it and it's genuinely helped me feel better. i had this glass for over a decade and i was really attached to it, as silly as it may sound.

i'd really appreciate if you could circulate this post, through a reblog or just through sharing it around to people or communities who might help me track down raionsan. thank you again.

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

Oooh! A great Gavin Finney (Good Omens Director of Photography) interview with Helen Parkinson for the British Cinematographer! :)

HEAVEN SENT

Gifted a vast creative landscape from two of fantasy’s foremost authors to play with, Gavin Finney BSC reveals how he crafted the otherworldly visuals for Good Omens 2.  

It started with a letter from beyond the grave. Following fantasy maestro Sir Terry Pratchett’s untimely death in 2015, Neil Gaiman decided he wouldn’t adapt their co-authored 1990 novel, Good Omens, without his collaborator. That was, until he was presented with a posthumous missive from Pratchett asking him to do just that.  

For Gaiman, it was a request that proved impossible to decline: he brought Good Omens season one to the screen in 2019, a careful homage to its source material. His writing, complemented by some inspired casting – David Tennant plays the irrepressible demon Crowley, alongside Michael Sheen as angel-slash-bookseller Aziraphale – and award-nominated visuals from Gavin Finney BSC, proved a potent combination for Prime Video viewers.  

Aziraphale’s bookshop was a set design triumph.

Season two departs from the faithful literary adaptation of its predecessor, instead imagining what comes next for Crowley and Aziraphale. Its storyline is built off a conversation that Pratchett and Gaiman shared during a jetlagged stay in Seattle for the 1989 World Fantasy Convention. Gaiman remembers: “The idea was always that we would tell the story that Terry and I came up with in 1989 in Seattle, but that we would do that in our own time and in our own way. So, once Good Omens (S1) was done, all I knew was that I really, really wanted to tell the rest of the story.” 

Telling that story visually may sound daunting, but cinematographer Finney is no stranger to the wonderfully idiosyncratic world of Pratchett and co. As well as lensing Good Omens’ first outing, he’s also shot three other Pratchett stories – TV mini series  Hogfather  (2006), and TV mini-series The Colour of Magic (2008) and Going Postal (2010). 

He relishes how the authors provide a vast creative landscape for him to riff off. “The great thing about Pratchett and Gaiman is that there’s no limit to what you can do creatively – everything is up for grabs,” he muses. “When we did the first Pratchett films and the first Good Omens, you couldn’t start by saying, ‘Okay, what should this look like?’, because nothing looks like Pratchett’s world. So, you’re starting from scratch, with no references, and that starting point can be anything you want it to be.”  

Season two saw the introduction of inside-outside sets for key locations including Aziraphale’s bookshop. 

From start to finish 

The sole DP on the six-episode season, Finney was pleased to team up again with returning director Douglas Mackinnon for the “immensely complicated” shoot, and the pair began eight weeks of prep in summer 2021. A big change was the production shifting the main soho set from Bovington airfield, near London, up to Edinburgh’s Pyramids Studio. Much of the action in Good Omens takes place on the Soho street that’s home to Aziraphale’s bookshop, which was built as an exterior set on the former airfield for season one. Season two, however, saw the introduction of inside-outside sets for key locations including the bookshop, record store and pub, to minimise reliance on green screen.  

Finney brought over many elements of his season one lensing, especially Mackinnon’s emphasis on keeping the camera moving, which involved lots of prep and testing. “We had a full-time Scorpio 45’ for the whole shoot (run by key grip Tim Critchell and his team), two Steadicam operators (A camera – Ed Clark and B camera Martin Newstead) all the way through, and in any one day we’d often go from Steadicam, to crane, to dolly and back again,” he says. “The camera is moving all the time, but it’s always driven by the story.” 

One key difference for season two, however, was the move to large-format visuals. Finney tested three large-format cameras and the winner was the Alexa LF (assisted by the Mini LF where conditions required), thanks to its look and flexibility.  

The minisodes were shot on Cooke anamorphics, giving Finney the ideal balance of anamorphic-style glares and characteristics without too much veiling flare.

A more complex decision was finding the right lenses for the job. “You hear about all these whizzy new lenses that are re-barrelled ancient Russian glass, but I needed at least two full sets for the main unit, then another set for the second unit, then maybe another set again for the VFX unit,” Finney explains. “If you only have one set of this exotic glass, it’s no good for the show.” 

He tested a vast array of lenses before settling on Zeiss Supremes, supplied by rental house Media Dog. These ticked all the boxes for the project: “They had a really nice look – they’re a modern design but not over sharp, which can look a bit electronic and a bit much, especially with faces. When you’re dealing with a lot of wigs and prosthetics, we didn’t want to go that sharp. The Supremes had a very nice colour palette and nice roll-off. They’re also much smaller than a lot of large-format glass, so that made it easy for Steadicam and remote cranes. They also provided additional metadata, which was very useful for the VFX department (VFX services were provided by Milk VFX).” 

The Supremes were paired with a selection of filters to characterise the show’s varied locations and characters. For example, Tiffen Bronze Glimmerglass were paired with bookshop scenes; Black Pro-Mist was used for Hell; and Black Diffusion FX for Crowley’s present-day storyline.  

Finney worked closely with the show’s DIT, Donald MacSween, and colourist, Gareth Spensley, to develop the look for the minisode.

Maximising minisodes 

Episodes two, three and four of season two each contain a ‘minisode’ – an extended flashback set in Biblical times, 1820s Edinburgh and wartime London respectively. “Douglas wanted the minisodes to have very strong identities and look as different from the present day as possible, so we’d instantly know we were in a minisode and not the present day,” Finney explains.  

One way to shape their distinctive look was through using Cooke anamorphic lenses. As Finney notes: “The Cookes had the right balance of controllable, anamorphic-style flares and characteristics without having so much veiling flare that they would be hard to use on green screens. They just struck the right balance of aesthetics, VFX requirements and availability.” The show adopted the anamorphic aspect ratio (2:39.1), an unusual move for a comedy, but one which offered them more interesting framing opportunities. 

Good Omens 2 was shot on the Alexa LF, paired with Zeiss Supremes for the present-day scenes.

The minisodes were also given various levels of film grain to set them apart from the present-day scenes. Finney first experimented with this with the show’s DIT Donald MacSween using the DaVinci Resolve plugin FilmConvert. Taking that as a starting point, the show’s colourist, Company 3’s Gareth Spensley, then crafted his own film emulation inspired by two-strip Technicolor. “There was a lot of testing in the grade to find the look for these minisodes, with different amounts of grain and different types of either Technicolor three-strip or two-strip,” Finney recalls. “Then we’d add grain and film weave on that, then on top we added film flares. In the Biblical scenes we added more dust and motes in the air.”  

Establishing the show’s lighting was a key part of Finney’s testing process, working closely with gaffer Scott Napier and drawing upon PKE Lighting’s inventory. Good Omens’ new Scottish location posed an initial challenge: as the studio was in an old warehouse rather than being purpose-built for filming, its ceilings weren’t as high as one would normally expect. This meant Finney and Napier had to work out a low-profile way of putting in a lot of fixtures. 

Inside Crowley’s treasured Bentley.

Their first task was to test various textiles, LED wash lights and different weight loadings, to establish what they were working with for the street exteriors. “We worked out that what was needed were 12 SkyPanels per 20’x20’ silk, so each one was a block of 20’x20’, then we scaled that up,” Finney recalls. “I wanted a very seamless sky, so I used full grid cloth which made it very, very smooth. That was important because we’ve got lots of cars constantly driving around the set and the sloped windscreens reflect the ceiling. So we had to have seamless textiles – PKE had to source around 12,000 feet of textiles so that we could put them together, so the reflections in the windscreens of the cars just showed white gridcloth rather than lots of stage lights. We then drove the car around the set to test it from different angles.”  

On the floor, they mostly worked with LEDs, providing huge energy and cost savings for the production. Astera’s Titan Tubes came in handy for a fun flashback scene with John Hamm’s character Gabriel. The DP remembers: “[Gabriel] was travelling down a 30-foot feather tunnel. We built a feather tunnel on the stage and wrapped it in a ring of Astera tubes, which were then programmed by dimmer op Jon Towler to animate, pulse and change different colours. Each part of Gabriel’s journey through his consciousness has a different colour to it.” 

Among the rigs built was a 20-strong Creamsource Vortex setup for the graveyard scene in the “Body Snatchers” minisode, shot in Stirling. “We took all the yokes off each light then put them on a custom-made aluminium rig so we could have them very close. We put them up on a big telehandler on a hill that gave me a soft mood light, which was very adjustable, windproof and rainproof.” 

Shooting on the VP stage for the birth of the universe scenes in episode one.

Sky’s the limit 

A lot of weather effects were done in camera – including lightning effects pulsed in that allowed both direct fork lightning and sheet lightning to spread down the streets. In the grade, colourist Spensley was also able to work his creative magic on the show’s skies. “Gareth is a very artistic colourist – he’s a genius at changing skies,” Finney says. “Often in the UK you get these very boring, flat skies, but he’s got a library of dramatic skies that you can drop in. That would usually be done by VFX, but he’s got the ability to do it in Baselight, so a flat sky suddenly becomes a glorious sunset.” 

Finney emphasises that the grade is a very involved process for a series like Good Omens, especially with its VFX-heavy nature. “This means VFX sequences often need extra work when it comes back into the timeline,” says the DP. “So, we often add camera movement or camera shake to crank the image up a bit. Having a colourist like Gareth is central to a big show like Good Omens, to bring all the different visual elements together and to make it seamless. It’s quite a long grade process but it’s worth its weight in gold.” 

Shooting in the VR cube for the blitz scenes .

Finney took advantage of virtual production (VP) technology for the driving scenes in Crowley’s classic Bentley. The volume was built on their Scottish set: a 4x7m cube with a roof that could go up and down on motorised winches as needed. “We pulled the cars in and out on skates – they went up on little jacks, which you could then rotate and move the car around within the volume,” he explains. “We had two floating screens that we could move around to fill in and use as additional source lighting. Then we had generated plates – either CGI or real location plates –projected 360º around the car. Sometimes we used the volume in-camera but if we needed to do more work downstream; we’d use a green screen frustum.” Universal Pixels collaborated with Finney to supply in-camera VFX expertise, crew and technical equipment for the in-vehicle driving sequences and rear projection for the crucial car shots. 

John Hamm was suspended in the middle of this lighting rig and superimposed into the feather tunnel.

Interestingly, while shooting at a VP stage in Leith, the team also used the volume as a huge, animated light source in its own right – a new technique for Finney. “We had the camera pointing away from [the volume] so the screen provided this massive, IMAX-sized light effect for the actors. We had a simple animation of the expanding universe projected onto the screen so the actors could actually see it, and it gave me the animated light back on the actors.”  

Bringing such esteemed authors’ imaginations to the screen is no small task, but Finney was proud to helped bring Crowley and Aziraphale’s adventures to life once again. He adds: “What’s nice about Good Omens, especially when there’s so much bad news in the world, is that it’s a good news show. It’s a very funny show. It’s also about good and evil, love and doing the right thing, people getting together irrespective of backgrounds. It’s a hopeful message, and I think that that’s what we all need.” 

Finney is no stranger to the idiosyncratic world of Sir Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman.

[pasiveagressive]

Halloween Icons || M.V.33

liked by f1gossip, wagsoff1, and others

paddockgossip In honor of their 10th annual Halloween Party coming soon, we are counting down with Y/N and Max's iconic halloween costumes over the years!

liked by leclercfan, noverstoppen, and others

paddockgossip 2012 Halloween: Even before she and Max were showing us how to be the world's best couple Y/N was slaying halloween down!

liked by wagsgossip, maxfan33, and others

paddockgossip 2013 Halloween: Another slay without Max! This time with two of her besties!

liked by maxiel4life, wagupdates and others

paddockgossip 2014 Halloween: Max and Y/N's first halloween as a couple, looking absolutely adorable as Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable!

liked by wagsgossip, landonowins and others

paddockgossip 2015 Halloween: Ruh Roh Raggy, Y/n and Max in 2015 as Scooby and Shaggy!

liked by y/nfan, maxfan, and others

paddockgossip 2016 Halloween: Taking things a bit more sinister, Max and Y/N in 2016 as a Purge couple! This is also the first year Y/N and Max hosted what would become their annual Halloween Party!

liked by redbullracingupdates, paddocklove and others

paddockgossip 2017 Halloween: These killers will make you Scream! This years party hosted was the first one that was really popular almost every driver on the grid attended as well as some smaller celebrities!

liked by wagsupdates, 44love, and others

paddockgossip 2018 Halloween: Y/N and Max as Romeo and Juliet from the 1996 adaptation! Y/N has claimed this as one of her favorite movies in the past!

The 2018 party was the first one that really resembles what it still looks like today, they rented a club, a DJ, a photographer and more. The guest list was in the 100's for the first time!

liked by y/nfan, maxiel4life and others

paddockgossip 2019 Halloween: Hide your wallets and jewelry, Bonnie and Clyde are in town!

In 2019 Max and Y/N decided to charge admission into the party in the form of donations to Charities!

liked by checo11, russellfan63 and others

paddockgossip 2020 Halloween: First time they ever 'repeated' a costume, back as Bonnie and Clyde but this time after the shootout!

No Party this year because of the global pandemic! The couple still requested that their friends donate to charities to help support those that lost their jobs due to the pandemic!

liked by f1wags, f1gossip and others

paddockgossip 2021 Halloween: Not much to say about this one, Catwoman and Batman,

Max and Y/N had their party in person again this year after taking the previous year off for the pandemic!

liked by noverstoppen, wagsupdates and others

paddockgossip 2022 Halloween: My personal favorite Max and Y/N costume, they absolutely killed it as Joker and Harley Quinn!

They asked everyone to dress up as heroes or villians at this years party:

Daniel went as Loki

Lando went as Darth Vader

George and Carmen went as Mr. Incredible and Elastagirl

Charles and Alex went as Superman and Lois

keep reading

liked by youruser, wagsupdates and others

paddockgossip 2023 Halloween: Of course our Halloween Icons went as Barbie and Ken in 2023, with a first for Max and Y/N a costume change mid-party!

We can't wait to see what they dress up as this year!

liked by charles_leclerc maxverstappen1 and others

youruser We couldn't decide which costume to do this year so we decided why not both?

tagged maxverstappen1

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paddockgossip brb got to add this to my list!

[nostalgebraist]

Honestly I'm pretty tired of supporting nostalgebraist-autoresponder. Going to wind down the project some time before the end of this year.

Posting this mainly to get the idea out there, I guess.

This project has taken an immense amount of effort from me over the years, and still does, even when it's just in maintenance mode.

Today some mysterious system update (or something) made the model no longer fit on the GPU I normally use for it, despite all the same code and settings on my end.

This exact kind of thing happened once before this year, and I eventually figured it out, but I haven't figured this one out yet. This problem consumed several hours of what was meant to be a relaxing Sunday. Based on past experience, getting to the bottom of the issue would take many more hours.

My options in the short term are to

A. spend (even) more money per unit time, by renting a more powerful GPU to do the same damn thing I know the less powerful one can do (it was doing it this morning!), or

B. silently reduce the context window length by a large amount (and thus the "smartness" of the output, to some degree) to allow the model to fit on the old GPU.

Things like this happen all the time, behind the scenes.

I don't want to be doing this for another year, much less several years. I don't want to be doing it at all.

----

In 2019 and 2020, it was fun to make a GPT-2 autoresponder bot.

[EDIT: I've seen several people misread the previous line and infer that nostalgebraist-autoresponder is still using GPT-2. She isn't, and hasn't been for a long time. Her latest model is a finetuned LLaMA-13B.]

Hardly anyone else was doing anything like it. I wasn't the most qualified person in the world to do it, and I didn't do the best possible job, but who cares? I learned a lot, and the really competent tech bros of 2019 were off doing something else.

And it was fun to watch the bot "pretend to be me" while interacting (mostly) with my actual group of tumblr mutuals.

In 2023, everyone and their grandmother is making some kind of "gen AI" app. They are helped along by a dizzying array of tools, cranked out by hyper-competent tech bros with apparently infinite reserves of free time.

There are so many of these tools and demos. Every week it seems like there are a hundred more; it feels like every day I wake up and am expected to be familiar with a hundred more vaguely nostalgebraist-autoresponder-shaped things.

And every one of them is vastly better-engineered than my own hacky efforts. They build on each other, and reap the accelerating returns.

I've tended to do everything first, ahead of the curve, in my own way. This is what I like doing. Going out into unexplored wilderness, not really knowing what I'm doing, without any maps.

Later, hundreds of others with go to the same place. They'll make maps, and share them. They'll go there again and again, learning to make the expeditions systematically. They'll make an optimized industrial process of it. Meanwhile, I'll be locked in to my own cottage-industry mode of production.

Being the first to do something means you end up eventually being the worst.

----

I had a GPT chatbot in 2019, before GPT-3 existed. I don't think Huggingface Transformers existed, either. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

I had a denoising diffusion image generator in 2021, before DALLE-2 or Stable Diffusion or Huggingface Diffusers. I used the primitive tools that were available at the time, and built on them in my own way. These days, it is almost trivial to do the things I did, much better, with standardized tools.

Earlier this year, I was (probably) one the first people to finetune LLaMA. I manually strapped LoRA and 8-bit quantization onto the original codebase, figuring out everything the hard way. It was fun.

Just a few months later, and your grandmother is probably running LLaMA on her toaster as we speak. My homegrown methods look hopelessly antiquated. I think everyone's doing 4-bit quantization now?

(Are they? I can't keep track anymore -- the hyper-competent tech bros are too damn fast. A few months from now the thing will be probably be quantized to -1 bits, somehow. It'll be running in your phone's browser. And it'll be using RLHF, except no, it'll be using some successor to RLHF that everyone's hyping up at the time...)

"You have a GPT chatbot?" someone will ask me. "I assume you're using AutoLangGPTLayerPrompt?"

No, no, I'm not. I'm trying to debug obscure CUDA issues on a Sunday so my bot can carry on talking to a thousand strangers, every one of whom is asking it something like "PENIS PENIS PENIS."

Only I am capable of unplugging the blockage and giving the "PENIS PENIS PENIS" askers the responses they crave. ("Which is ... what, exactly?", one might justly wonder.) No one else would fully understand the nature of the bug. It is special to my own bizarre, antiquated, homegrown system.

I must have one of the longest-running GPT chatbots in existence, by now. Possibly the longest-running one?

I like doing new things. I like hacking through uncharted wilderness. The world of GPT chatbots has long since ceased to provide this kind of value to me.

I want to cede this ground to the LLaMA techbros and the prompt engineers. It is not my wilderness anymore.

I miss wilderness. Maybe I will find a new patch of it, in some new place, that no one cares about yet.

----

Even in 2023, there isn't really anything else out there quite like Frank. But there could be.

If you want to develop some sort of Frank-like thing, there has never been a better time than now. Everyone and their grandmother is doing it.

"But -- but how, exactly?"

Don't ask me. I don't know. This isn't my area anymore.

There has never been a better time to make a GPT chatbot -- for everyone except me, that is.

Ask the techbros, the prompt engineers, the grandmas running OpenChatGPT on their ironing boards. They are doing what I did, faster and easier and better, in their sleep. Ask them.

[winchester-reload]

October is approaching quickly, and I wanted to ask if you're hosting Suptober again this year?

Last year was the first time I participated, and I enjoyed it so much!

I guess I'll use your asks as an opportunity to break this news. Unfortunately, the answer is no, I will not be hosting a #suptober event this year. If you want more details on it, check out my public post on Patreon. But, suffice it to say, I just don't have the time or stamina. It's been six wonderful years, friends, but I'm getting old 😅.

Still, I know this isn't news that you want to hear, and I apologize. I recognize that it has become somewhat of a fandom staple event over the last six years, and I'm so grateful to you all for that. Thank you for making it memorable, and for letting me be a part of it. I'll absolutely miss the creativity, celebration, and community it brings.

BUT this doesn't mean you can't still have fun this October.

If you, or anyone you know, still feels compelled to participate in some type of prompt challenge for the month, I encourage you to try the inktober prompts, or, if you'd rather, you could also use one of my Suptober lists from previous years. I'll link them below. Repost at will if you decide to use one!

Thank you for your understanding (and forgiveness). I look forward to seeing anything you all create this year.

Previous Prompts

2018

2019

2020

2021

2022

2023

Or, if you're just feeling nostalgic, check out some of the incredible submissions of years past, you can find them below. As always, like, comment, and show the creators some love <3

#suptober2018 Suptober19 Art Archive Suptober20 Art Archive Suptober21 Art Archive The Suptober 2021 A03 Archive #suptober22 The Suptober 2022 Ao3 Archive #suptober23 The Suptober 2023 Ao3 Archive

[genderkoolaid]

you made a post abt stuff like this recently i believe, but i just get so tired when i see stuff like this. like no actually transmen do get attacked and killed over this believe it or not :/

like without fail someone will use transmen as a gotcha in the bathroom debate and then completely ignore what can and has happened.

"They forget they exist" uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

It's not even remotely following a line of logic. The mindset of erasure truly has people thinking "if cis people walk in the bathrooms and see someone they think is "male" and it's a trans woman, they will get angry, but if it's a trans man, they will be magically unable to conceive of them at all!"

Like y'all realize when people talk about transmasc invisibility, they aren't being literal. We still exist as visible 4 dimensional creatures violating patriarchal gender norms.

I'm assuming they meant trans women in the women's bathrooms, but even if they did mean men's. Surprise! Those are not magically safe either! Transmascs have been attacked in men's bathrooms specifically for being transmasc! (tw for physical and sexual violence below the cut)

Caesar Lewis was physically dragged out of a club bathroom by his hair while still partially undressed and thrown into the street, called a faggot and the h slur, and was told: “If you come here and use the male washroom again little girl, you and your friend will be dragged out and we’ll bring you behind the building this time.” When he demanded his jacket from the coat room, he was backhanded and kicked by three bouncers until he lost consciousness. This was in 2016.

There are two cases of attacks on trans boys in boy's bathrooms I've found so far: one from 2019 in which a trans boy was physically and sexually assaulted by a group of cis boys, and one from 2021 in which cis boys started changing transphobic slurs and attempting to kick in the stall door when a trans boy came in.

[paracosmic-murdock]

vigilante like me

chapter four: takes one to know one

pairing: matt murdock x black widow!vigilante!reader

summary: nights and nights of playing the hero as if that could redeem you that easily ended up taking you to new york, where you accidentally met the man who would turn your world upside down. a vigilante like you.

warnings/tags: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, injuries, phd in applied flirting and ma in yearning studies, some smut (minors dni), takes place sometime during the blip, when born again comes out we might find out if my decisions of who were gone were right, spoilers/references of stuff and themes from daredevil (2015); avengers: infinity war (2018); avengers: endgame (2019) black widow (2021); and hawkeye (2021), but y'all must've watched all of those already so idc, yelena belova and the themes and events from the black widow (2021) movie are very relevant in this plot, song: cowboy like me (taylor swift)

word count: 3K

✰ chapter one | chapter two | chapter three | chapter five | chapter six | chapter seven | chapter eight | chapter nine

✰ mila's anthology (main masterlist)

The way to your apartment was an experience you would rather not repeat ever again.

With Matt more dead than alive, making your way home through the alleyways proved to be more difficult than you had anticipated. You thanked whatever deity as soon as you had him lying against the walls despite knowing you would have to clean the blood off of the almond-white paint.

“Come on, let's get you cleaned up,” you said in a low volume.

“You don't have to, I'll just-”

You exhaled tiredly. “Those men are looking for you, and if you leave this place like that, them or anybody else from whatever organization they come from are gonna find you and fucking kill you. Not to mention me, who might've killed two of them.”

“You don't have to worry about me.”

“I'm not worried about you,” You chuckled, sarcastic. “I just don't want a dead man in my living room.”

He nodded. “I get that, but I have to leave.”

“You are not leaving,” you stated, almost threatening. “Unless you live in this very same building, you won't make it to your place alive.”

“I take it you're not a woman of faith,” he commented, giving you what seemed like a smirk interrupted by the pain from his split lip.

You frowned, making a confused grin. “You're a weird guy, Daredevil.

“It's the catholic in me.”

You pursed your lips.

“Take off your clothes.”

He chuckled, a tired laugh slipping from his lips. “Usually, we'd go for dinner first.”

“I can order something, but you'll pay for it.” You rolled your eyes.

“Hey, you're the one who wants me naked.”

“You're too chatty for someone who's bleeding to death in my apartment,” you noted, taking him to your bathroom. He was hesitant to let you but ended up complying.

As soon as you were in the bathroom, you sat him on the toilet.

“Take your suit off. And keep your underwear, alright?” you ordered him. “I'll turn around.”

The last thing you saw before you did as you promised was his smirk. You scoffed, almost regretting helping him.

Though, in the end, you've known he was a cocky bastard since you first talked with him at Josie's.

“You don't have to do this,” he insisted.

You sighed, turning around. “I know that.”

He had taken his suit off and only had his briefs and helmet on. Also, he was clearly about to pass out from exhaustion in your bathroom.

You cupped his face and began taking off his helmet, but his hand held your wrist, stopping you from it. “Wait-”

“I don't know if this has worked with anybody else, but I know what your voice sounds like, Murdock,” He turned his focus to you, not knowing what to expect. “And you know mine, so we're even.”

Matt stayed silent and let you take off his helmet. As soon as it was off, you noticed he had a cut in his right cheek under the border of the helmet, a split lip, blood down his nostrils, and a bruise in his jaw.

You don't really know what got over you, but you used your thumb to touch his face as if you had to use your skin to catch what your eyes couldn't. That was probably because you couldn't take your eyes off of his own to look anywhere else.

They were a greenish brown and completely mesmerizing, directed to your nose instead of your eyes. His pupils were dilated, and you identified the insecurity in them.

“I know what you must be wondering,” he muttered.

“What would that be?” you inquired, your thumb softly tracing the shape of his lower lips. Matt exhaled with his eyes closed as you imagined things that had never crossed your mind before about anybody else, but now they were and with the person you wanted as far from you as humanly possible.

Maybe not anymore.

“Whether I'm actually blind or not.” He opened his eyes, and now they were on yours as if he could see how appealed you were by them.

You shook your head lightly. “I wasn't wondering about that, but now that you mention it, I have my questions.”

“Well,” he chuckled. “There is more than one way to see.”

“Yeah?” You tilted your head, now touching the open wound in his cheek. Matt winced but didn't pull away.

“Yeah,” he confirmed, his hands, all bloody from his bruised knuckles, going to your arms and softly caressing them. He kept on touching, now feeling the goosebumps in your skin. “I can use my other four senses: I can touch, I can smell, I can taste, I can hear…, but there's more than that. I can feel everything, from a shift in the air to the temperature of this place.”

“That explains it.”

He chuckled lightly. “What were you really thinking about, then?”

“Nothing.” you lied. Of course, you were not going to tell him you found his eyes fascinating and that you just imagined how nice it would be to kiss him.

“Nothing?” He tilted his head, trying to detect a lie in your heartbeat, but it was steady as ever. “You should teach me how to stop thinking.”

“You have to focus on something else and imagine you're in a beautiful place where nobody talks.”

“What were you focusing on?”

“You're not cute enough for me to tolerate your nosiness.”

“Well, noted.”

There was silence again, and you couldn't bring yourself to say anything else, so you helped him stand up and get inside the shower.

As soon as you turned it on and got ready to leave, you noticed all the water was bright red once it hit the floor and that Matt was struggling to stay on his feet.

“It's okay, Matt,” you said, trying to comfort him. “Sit down, I'll help you.”

Matt doubted for a long second but did as you told him.

When you got in, you were only in your underwear, just like he was.

You took shampoo and soap and left them on the floor, and then you sat in front of Matt, who rested against the tiles and couldn't keep his eyes open.

“Come here,” you asked, and he approached you instinctively. “I'll wash your hair first.”

Just like you said, you got some shampoo on your hands, rubbed them, and then massaged his scalp.

The smell of the product, though pleasant, took Matt by surprise, and the soft movements of your fingers on his scalp made him associate the scent with comfort. The cold water hitting his skin contrasted with the warmth of his flushed cheeks, and the sting for each drop that fell in his wounds made him suppress uncountable groans.

“Let me know if I hurt you, okay?” you murmured. Matt nodded.

You held him by his shoulders and pulled him closer to you, also directly under the shower.

The water washed away the shampoo, which fell slightly red to the floor due to the blood in his hair and his skin. Then, you washed his face delicately, trying not to get soap inside his cuts.

“Do you want something from me?”

“I do,” you replied calmly, now washing the blood off his chest. “I want you to stop asking around about me. I never did anything to harm you or your city, and I certainly never approached you. I have no idea what I did to make you want to stalk me, but I want you to back off.”

He sighed, asking himself what part of you showering him gives away the fact that you want him out of your life. How can you say something like that while the tip of your fingers traces the curves of his body with such tenderness? Your words make no sense to him as you keep his right hand in yours and wipe away all the dried blood as if he were an antique porcelain doll that could break if you rubbed too harshly.

“I can stop asking about you,” Matt agreed, his voice still weak. “I'm sorry, I was just worried about you after that night at the bar.”

“You don't have to worry about me.”

“I'm not worried about you,” he shot back, almost making you smile. “I just don't want a dead woman in my city if I can help it.”

You tried your best not to laugh. “Oh, you know I won't be the dead one, don't you?”

“I do now, I swear.”

“Good,” You looked at him. “We're done here, let's go to the room.”

“Whose room?”

“The guest room,” you lied. You don't even have a guest room.

But Matt would never know, since your heartbeat didn't change with your dishonesty.

“Okay.”

You gave him a towel. “You should cover yourself. I'll meet you outside.”

Before joining him, you took your own quick shower so you could patch yourself up too. Soon, you were both sitting on your bed as you stitched him up.

“I'm not used to someone else doing this,” he commented. “It's not too often that another person patches me up.”

You put butterfly bandages on the cut in his cheek. “Yeah?”

He hummed. “And you have a knack for it. I can barely feel your hands.”

“I have my experience,” You gave him half a smile.

“Oh, God, was that a smile? You can actually smile?”

You gasped, offended. “I sure can smile! And laugh!”

“You never do. This is so weird.” he joked.

“Shut up.”

“You must have a nice smile.”

“I can't tell you that because nobody has ever complimented it.”

“How could they? Says the legend that nobody has ever seen it.”

You smacked his shoulder. “I inform you that I have many weapons in this apartment and I won't hesitate to use them if you keep mocking me.”

“I know you have many weapons. I bet there's a few of them underneath this bed and they're loaded.”

“How do you know it?” You raised your eyebrows.

“Gunpowder.”

You hummed in confirmation. “There's a gun here. One to spare in my closet. There are knives in my bathroom, a gun near the door, one in the fridge, and some knives all around.”

“Inside the fridge?” he questioned.

“My enemies might think it's milk, but you and I both know it's not.”

“Oh, do you have many enemies?”

“Only a few. And add those guys I saved you from today.”

“And thanks for that.”

“You're welcome, Devil.”

Matt nodded and the room fell silent. You finished patching him up.

“Your turn.”

“I can only guess so.”

You guided his hands to where your injuries were, and it almost surprised you how he clearly didn't need you as he found wounds you hadn't realized were on you. Matt was skilled, and it was obvious he had done this to himself —and maybe to someone else— numerous times.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“You can ask me anything, but I decide whether I answer or not. I could also lie.”

“I'll know it if you lie.”

You scoffed, incredulous. “Will you, though?”

“Give me your hand,” he told you. You did as he asked, and he put it where his heart was. “What's your name?”

“You already know that,”

“Just answer.”

You told Matt your name and he nodded.

“Mine is Matthew Michael Murdock,” he said. “Feel my heart as I speak. If it beats quicker, it means I'm lying… I'm a lawyer.”

“It's steady,” you noted.

“Ask me something.”

“What's your drink of choice?”

He smirked. “Something serious.”

“That is serious.”

“Okay, nothing too fancy. A Macallan 18.”

“That's a lie,” you concluded after feeling his heart jump ever so slightly.

“You're right, there's nothing I love more than a cheap beer at Josie's.”

You smiled. “True.”

“Now, can I ask?” he inquired. You nodded. “Are you a Black Widow?”

You sighed. “You had to ask.”

“You are free to not answer.”

“I know.”

Then, there was silence.

Until you spoke. “I am. Or I guess I was, though something inside me makes me feel like you never cease to be something you were turned into like that.”

“True,” he muttered. “But I think you've been something different from that lately.”

“Yeah? Like what?”

“A hero.”

You chuckled dryly. “I am no hero, I just make sure that whoever fucks around also finds out.”

“Well,” Matt smiled. “That's kind of an entry-level requirement, you know? You do that and protect others without expecting anything in return.”

“I'm pretty sure that the kids nowadays call that being a vigilante,” you corrected him. “I don't think I'm one; I'm just a mad woman with nothing to lose.”

“I'm afraid it takes one to know one,” Matt commented. “I might be one of those too.”

“But you do have a lot to lose: the city you love, your career, you might even have friends and a family, a community… And you still do all of this,” you countered. “You do this from love and goodness, selflessly. That makes you some sort of martyr, not a madman with nothing to lose or a simple vigilante.”

“I'm not sure I'm that selfless,” Matt said. “Most times, it's my wrath that does all of that.”

You tilted your head, showing interest in his words. “What does wrath have to do with saving those who need it?”

“The Bible says about the wrath that it is only the wrath of God that will serve justice upon those who trespass against us because it does not come from immortality, but from the rejection of sin,” he began. “Whereas, men let their wrath take over them and turn to evil… and harm others like I do every night. It is not up to us humans to seek vengeance and bring punishment but to God.”

“You are quite the believer, aren't you?”

Matt shrugged. “I've had my crises of faith, I must be honest.”

“Matt,” you called for his attention. Once his focus was on you, you proceeded. “How could it be pure evil when it all is for the greater good?”

“While it is all for the greater good at the end of the day, I think it comes from guilt, and it's released in the form of wrath and violence.”

“Is that why you're the Devil?”

“I told you before that my father was a boxer: Jack Murdock,” He took the gauze and started covering the wounds he had just cured. “And my grandmother, she used to say us Murdock boys have the Devil in us.”

“Do you dare the devil in you every time you put on that suit?”

Matt lifted your face by your chin and stroked it softly. “What's your name?”

“Beyoncé.” you joked.

Matt noticed there wasn't any sort of alteration in your heartbeat, so he just put his hand on your chest. “How was it like being a Widow?”

“Every day felt like running in a field of flowers under the most beautiful of sunsets.”

It also felt like the truth, but Matt knows better now.

“That was a lie.”

You just went with it. “It was the kind of place that made you prefer not being in control of yourself. Either way, you do what they want you to do; you have no other choice but to be ready to comply.”

“I think the Devil is that part of me I can never get rid of,” he answered your old question. “If I wanted him gone, I would have to be born again.”

“Someone has been practicing.”

She nodded. “I sure did, coach.”

“That's nice, Karen,” you complimented her, finishing cooling down. “And you're doing very well. Soon, I won't want to get in your way.”

“Thanks,” She looked down and blushed.

It was your fourth class with Karen and it was clear that she was quite committed. You liked that.

“Hey, would you like to join me for drinks after our class?”

Ever since you met Karen, you have felt like you should be cautious with her. It isn't like she did anything in particular, or the lack thereof: it's more like the alarms your trust issues once set went off when she was there. There is something you can't quite place, but you would never doubt for a second that there is. However, you wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt sometimes.

Being far from you is actually a favor if you think about it.

“Thanks, but I have a date,” you declined, trying to be cordial. “Maybe some other time.”

She nodded. “Yeah, some other time.”

You rushed to leave before she finished, so she wouldn't talk to you and maybe insist on hanging out tonight. Going home is your number one priority, but when have you ever been able to go home just like that?

“I can't believe my eyes…” Fyodor spoke as soon as he had you in front of him.

“Me neither,” you replied, debating how you felt about encountering your old friend again after two years without any kind of warning. “How have you been?”

“Well, well, kotik,” he said. His accent was quite thick, and he couldn't hide his origins even if he tried. In your case, you learned languages in the Red Room and were taught how to speak them like a native so you would never raise any sort of suspicion. You were a spy, after all. “You?”

“New York kinda sucks,” You wrinkled your nose. “What are you doing here?”

“I'm doing a little something,” he answered, trying to keep the mystery as if you truly cared. “Trying not to stumble upon Svetlana, you know.”

“Best of luck with your little something, then,” You nodded, preparing to resume your walk.

“Hey, I have a few more days before I leave,” he commented. “How about dinner tomorrow?”

“Sure, yeah,” you agreed, very reluctantly but trying not to show it. “Look, I gotta go right now.”

Before he could say anything, you left him on the sidewalk and made a turn as soon as you could.

Then, you entered the first building you saw and got ready for your nightly routine to apparent safety.

[thirstkanaphan]

Casting Ateez in a BL (revised and expanded)

Purely self-indulgent and a way for me to draw from my stores of BL knowledge (see my tags) and procrastinate on my actual work

Hongjoong

Hongjoong doesn't quite fit standard BL male lead visuals, yet he has shown himself to be intense, jealous, and possessive with atiny (and certain other members), which makes him a good fit for a cult fave Taiwanese BL. I would cast him in a Lin Pei Yu drama as a lead who secretly and furiously pines over his love interest for years, leading to an explosive moment of passionate intimacy, only to then ghost the love of his life for five years in order to prove himself worthy.

We Best Love 1 & 2 (Taiwan 2021)

Seonghwa

With Seonghwa's ability to draw from the emotional spectrum in his art (sadness, longing, grief, anger) and his unconventional yet staggering good looks, he would be a great fit for a Korean BL directed by my queen Hwang Da Seul. A show about the cost of aiming for perfection in a society that values beauty above all else. Seonghwa would definitely try for a more authentic depiction of queerness in a BL and would not be afraid of playing a messy character yearning for love.

Bleuming (Korea 2023)

Mingi

Given Mingi's penchant for pushing boundaries and zagging where others would zig, I see him fitting in with his new friend Up Poompat in a high-budget Thai BL adapted from a Chinese web novel. A show filled with questionable/downright problematic tropes and an incomprehensible plot, yet with great ratings due to its flashy visual style and high heat. Yes, I think Mingi would have a field day and charm the pants off everyone on the set.

My Stand-In (Thailand, 2024)

Yunho

Realistically, Yunho has the best chance of being cast in a Korean bromance drama like The Devil Judge or Beyond Evil, playing an honor-bound yet impressionable rookie who comes under the thrall of a mysterious and dangerous older mentor. However, we are casting him for BL and I think he would be perfectly suited for a Japanese BL filled with comfortable and nostalgic vignettes of everyday life and extended scenes of one character cooking for the other. His handsome, boy-next-door good looks would make him the ideal romantic lead who quietly devotes himself to his childhood friend-turned-roommate.

Living With Him (Japan, 2024)

Wooyoung

Has there ever been someone more suited to a pulpy Thai BL? I mean this as a compliment, of course. Yes, these shows have a reputation for being little more than sexy melodramas with poor production values, but I see the vision. Wooyoung's magnetism, swagger, and confidence would land him a show produced by Be On Cloud with great cinematography and a high-concept story held together by tape and glue. That wouldn't matter, because Wooyoung would get every advertiser of ice tea and printer ink to fund the show.

KinnPorsche (Thailand, 2022)

San

Yes, I know San was actually used as a visual reference for a character on KinnPorsche, but he would be playing it safe as a nice, strong, romantic lead in a New Siwaj-directed Thai BL. Physically, he embodies all the attributes of a seme, defined as the active pursuer in the narrative. He is the soft dom of our dreams, and would gently yet persistently woo our skittish ML while dealing with the emotional fallout of an intergenerational trauma that threatens his happily-ever-after.

P'DEEEAAAAAN!!!

Until We Meet Again (Thailand, 2019)

Yeosang*

Yeosang is tough to cast, because we know he sees himself as a doberman while the world insists he's a maltese. Unfortunately, his angelic good looks and soft-spoken demeanor would make him catnip for a Koran BL casting director looking for the ideal uke (the passive resistor in the narrative). He would play a sweet-natured yet timed character with a tragic backstory desperate to be loved by the touch-too-possessive ML who has known him since childhood. The show would be inexpensive yet tastefully staged, with a soft and dreamy style. The chemistry would be awkward and unconvincing, but the visuals would do most of the heavy lifting. His co-star would dine out on fan-meetings for the next 2-3 years.

Cherry Blossoms After Winter (Korea, 2022) starring Ok Jin Uk, from the trot idol group SUPERFIVE

*Thanks to an excellent suggestion by @byemambo, I am also casting Yeosang in A Man Who Defies the World of BL, using their explanation:

Mob is easily one of my favorite BL characters because I rewatch A Man Who Defies the World of BL religiously. I know we tend to see Yeosang as this ethereal beauty or someone who defies the odds of reality, but Yeosang to me is one of the funniest and wholesome members once you really take in his personality and composure. I feel like even if he tries not to due to his wallflower and observant tendencies, he draws you in, which is also Mob's dilemma until he has to come to terms with his bigger than life presence in the grand scheme of things. Although he spends so much time avoiding the spotlight and desire to lay low, he finally comes to terms with how signifiant his role is in the lives of others, and I find that beautiful (even if the series itself is unserious in nature haha).

Jongho

This was the hardest casting, because Jongho is so emphatically anti-fan service. Yet his prickly appeal and fondness for weepy dramas makes me think he could tough it out in a melancholy Japanese BL. Despite a mean and grumpy demeanor, his big round eyes would fill with devastation as the person he loves is taken from him too soon, only to get him back with only enough time to say their goodbyes and learn something about acceptance and memory.

Eternal Yesterday (Japan, 2022)

I will happily hear your substitutions or recommendations.

[chlochette-sunde]

Know your Destiel/Cockles history: a calendar 

As a newcomer on Tumblr and on the Supernatural fandom, I first had trouble following all the past events that were regularly reminded and celebrated.

On this very special day (December 14th, European time), the following post is an attempt at listing those events, focusing on Destiel and Cockles (with a hint of Jenmisheel). Feel free to advise me for more (or less) dates!

Acknowledgement: The idea came from @youchangedmedestiel who also contributed to the content. The present post would never have been possible without @livebloggingmydescentintomadness 's Cockles masterlist. Color code: Destiel / Cockles

Honorary periodic event: FIMMF (Finger In My Mouth Friday)

January

12th: "Mish. Dee." (2021) - 1

16th: Broadcast of 15x09 “The Trap” (2020) - /

17th: ‘Isn't the season you met Misha?’ ‘Taste the rainbow’ JaxCon (2016) - 1

18th: The abandoned Jenmisheel podcast (2022) - 1

24th: Dean's birthday + ‘Jensen's the horse’ HousCon (2015) - / + 1

February

2nd: Broadcast of 12x10 “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” (2017) - /

14th: Destiel wedding anniversary (2021)

16th: Broadcast of 12x12 “Stuck in the Middle (With You)” (2017) - /

26th: ‘Which is funny, because so do I’ JIB11 (2023) - 1

28th: ‘Misha's been working out’ ‘He has though, hasn't he?’ NashCon (2016) - 1

March

1st: Jensen Ackles' birthday (1978) - 1 2 3 4

18th: Danneel Ackles' birthday (1979)

20th: Broadcast of 8x17 “Goodbye Stranger” + Gag reel (2013) - / + 1

23rd: Broadcast of 7x17 “The Born-Again Identity” (2012) + Broadcast of 15x13 “Destiny’s Child” + Gag reel (Jensen's infamous fart joke) (2020) - / + 1

April

1st: Mishapocalypse (2013) + Mishapocalypse 2.0 (2023) - 1 2 + 3

10th: “When Harry Met Sally” JIB2 (2011) - 1

13th: Season 15 EW Photoshoot (2020) - 1 2

15th: Broadcast of 5x18 “Point of No Return” + Gag reel (blowjob+‘we’re missing the gay angel’+‘confetti it’s a parade’) (2010) - 1 + 2 3 4 

15th: Bishagate 2.0 NJCon (2023) + Misha’s Cas essay (2022) - 1 2 + 3

23th: Bishagate ‘I’m all three’ NJCon (2022) - 1

25th: ‘I happen to be straight’ (2022) - 1 2

27th: Broadcast of 12x19 “The Future” (2017) - 1 2 3 4

28th: ‘Balls deep’ CR8 (2024) - 1

29th: Broadcast of 6x19 “Mommy Dearest” + Gag reel (2011) - 1

May

6th: Broadcast of 6x20 “The Man Who Would Be King” (2011) - /

7th: First release of 'Watching Over Me' (2021) - 1

19th: Straddlegate JIB10 (2019) - 1 2 3 4

21st: Jensen's bear underwear reveal JIB8 (2017) - 1

23rd: ‘Okay babe’ (2021) - 1

24th: Misha tenderly rescuing Jensen+’We like you the best’+Hitch scene JIB5 (2014) - 1 2 3

26th: ‘It’s not a subtext. It was clear text.’ PurCon8 (2024) - 1

27th: ‘I talked to Jensen and Danneel this morning because I couldn’t sleep’ PurCon7 (2023) - 1

June

July

1st: ‘I miss my blanky’ + ‘I love you’ VS ‘I need you’ (2021 (yes, on the same fucking day)) + ‘Also, Cas is gay.’ (2023) - 1 2 3 + 4

14th: 'Destiel is Cockles Fault' Day SFCon (2024) - 1

24th: ‘Wow, that was really informative. Thank you.’ SDCC (2011) + ‘How do you know’ SDCC (2016) - 1 + 2

August

9th: Destiel fanfics first ship to reach the milestone of 100,000 stories 'I have to admit, I like being on top' (2021)

13th: ‘I’d love to do a Western…slash romcom with Misha’ VanCon (2017) - 1

17th: Cockles day at sea (2015) + ‘I would probably choose to be the car, because Dean would ride me all day’ SPNDEN (2018) - 1 2 + 3

18th: Destiel winning TV Choice Best Chemistry (2015) - 1

20th: Misha Collins' birthday (1974) - 1

September

8th: Release of "Some things I Still Can't Tell You", poetry book by Misha Collins - Men in the Woods (2021) - 1

13th: First broadcast of Supernatural (2005) - /

18th: Broadcast of Lazarus Rising, first appearance of Castiel (2008) + First release of Jensen publicly singing 'Angeles' (2012) (+Bonus: Jensen serenading Misha at JIB11 (2023)) - 1 + 2 3 4

24th: Broadcast of 5x03 “Free to Be You and Me” (2009) (Bonus: reference of ‘personal space’ at SFCon (2024)) - 1

October

11th: Danneel Ackles, sharing a picture of Jensen, reading "Some things I still can't tell you" by the fire, Misha tagged on his heart (2021) - 1 2 

13th: Broadcast of 12x01 “Keep Calm and Carry On” + ‘You're poking me’ Gag reel (2016) - 1

16th: ‘He’s like an angel plushie’ DenCon (2021) - 1

20th: ‘I can say whatever I want because Danneel is in love with you' HCCB (2024) - 1 

21st: Broadcast of 10x03 “Soul Survivor” + ‘Aloha cowboy’ Gag reel (2014) - 1 2

23rd: ‘I should have said ‘I love you too’ and hugged him’ VanCon (2022) - 1

28th: Broadcast of 11x04 “Baby” (2015) (Bonus: reenactment of the CasDean scene at JIB7 (2016))

November

5th: Broadcast of 15x18 "Despair" - Destiel's anniversary (2020) - /

8th: ‘Homosexual declaration of love’ Darklight Online Con (2020) + 'I live it' (2021) - 1 (no official proof because the panel has mysteriously been deleted from social medias around the 26th) + 2

11th: Broadcast of 10x05 “Fan Fiction” (2014) - /

12th: Broadcast of 9x06 “Heaven Can't Wait” (2013) - /

16th: Broadcast of 13x06 “Tombstone” (2017) + ‘Release the tapes!’ Day (2020) - / + 1

19th: Broadcast of 15x20 "Carry on" -> Last episode of Supernatural (so far 🕯🤞🏻) (2020) + Misha sharing by mistake (?) “The epic love story of Jensen Ackles and Misha Collins” blog (2013) - / + 1 2

24-25th: 'y yo a ti' (2020) - 1 

24th: ‘His ferret goes other places’ (2024) - 1

26th: Misha having to live stream and do PR during Thanksgiving, in mid divorce, following 'y yo a ti' (2020) - 1

December

1st: Danneel sharing a post to promote "The Adventurous Eaters Club", featuring Jensen and their kids (2019) - 1 2

5th: ‘I love you, not like a brother, but like a lover’ CCXP (2024) - 1 2

6th: ‘Cas was supposed to have his arm around Dean in the bar’ CCXP (2024) - 1 2

14th: Cockles anniversary (2009) + Introduction of 'Eyes Like The Sky' beer (2020) - 1 2 3 + 4

19th: Jenmisheel holiday package (2017) - 1 2

[adascore]

The Golden War

pairings: alexia putellas x lyonnais!reader

warnings: swearing. for culers the ‘22 uwcl final ig. jona is kinda mean in this.

author’s note: this is the same reader from my ‘one for the money, two for the show’ fic of the lionesses!captain. reader is basically ada hegerberg lolsies :) will be turned into a series.

masterlist

•••••

Turin, Italy - May, 2022

''The final has been dubbed as a duel between you and Alexia Putellas, do you experience it as that?''

The Lyon captain fought the urge to roll her eyes at the question, despite having expected it. ''It is a final between Barcelona and Lyon, nothing more than that.'' She answered, diplomatically- the way they had rehearsed it.

''Lyon is the underdog coming into this final- FC Barcelona has been unbeatable so far. What do you need to do in order to beat them tomorrow?'' Another reporter asked, a pen ready in his hand to take notes.

There was a slight change in her expression as the question left his lips, the man succeeding in poking through her stoic expression. ''Well, we have never lost to Barcelona- I don't know if you remember 3 years ago or even last year,''

Lyon had comfortably beaten the Spanish club in 2019. In that Champions League Final, Y/N had become the first player to score a hattrick in a UWCL final. Their last meeting had been in 2021, in the pre-season, where Lyon had won 3-2, the Lyon captain again putting one in the net.

''We have won this competition many times. There was football before Barcelona, and it was being played by us.''

Her last sentence of the quote had struck a nerve with the Barça captain.

''She acts like she has already won the whole thing.'' Alexia remarked as she read a transcript of the press conference.

Patri and Mapi glanced at one another, a knowing look in their eyes. ''Technically, there is nothing wrong about what she said, Ale. How many times has she won this competition now? 6? 7?'' The defender said, not having a problem with the opposition's words.

''She's just pissed that everyone is talking about us now.'' She ignored Mapi, continuing berating her opponent.

The rivalry between the captains of the two top teams had been something made up by the media, seeking a female counterpart to the famed Ronaldo-Messi rivalry. Both Alexia and Y/N led Europe's premier clubs, won the Champions League, captained their national teams, and earned the Ballon d'Or. This fueled incessant comparisons.

Alexia and Y/N hadn't given it much thought at first. There were also many differences between them; Alexia is a midfielder, while Y/N is a striker. Despite their similar ages, their careers took diverse paths. Alexia remained in the Spanish league, while Y/N gained experience across various countries.

Over time, an unexpected shift occurred. They began caring about each other's achievements. Yet, they knew the comparison wasn't fair.

Despite being younger, Y/N dominated women's football for longer, winning the Champions League seven times – twice with Wolfsburg and five times with Lyon. In contrast, Alexia secured one with Barcelona. Neither had won anything major with their national teams, though she had come close with England a few times. Furthermore, on the accolades side of things, Y/N led with a repertoire that most players could only dream of.

For a long time, it hadn't bothered Alexia. She had watched in admiration as the younger player became the first recipient of the Ballon d'Or, a huge step in women's football. Y/N's advocacy for the sport also didn't escape the Spanish player.

However, her admiration had turned into envy.

The turning point came in the 2019 final against Lyon. She had observed the way the English striker had celebrated with her entire team- how the Lyon squad immediately ran to her once the whistle blew and how Y/N bathed in all the (rightly deserved) glory. Alexia wanted that for herself. For years, Y/N had been the nail in Barcelona's coffin, scoring the goals that made sure they couldn't continue in the competition- in the captain's opinion, the striker had made a joke of her team for years, even if she didn't meant to do that.

Their interactions over the years were limited to polite handshakes before or after matches. Occasional encounters outside the pitch were rare and brief, seldom extending beyond a few sentences.

Alexia's surprise peaked when Y/N congratulated her on winning the Ballon d'Or through both private and public Instagram messages. Despite her reservations about comparisons and rivalry, receiving praise from someone she admired as one of the best in the game left Alexia with a positive feeling.

''No, I think she's just not a fan of being referred to as an underdog.'' Patri defended the Lyon striker.

This explanation didn't sit well with Alexia, evident from the displeasure on her face. ''Whatever,'' she retorted, looking forward to settling matters on the field that Saturday.

Saturday, May 21, 2022

Excitement, adrenaline, nerves, and tension permeated the tunnel of Juventus Stadium as Alexia, tightly gripping her pennant, stood at the front of her lined-up team, awaiting the opposing captain.

The sudden hush among the Barcelona team signaled the arrival of their counterpart. Turning around, Alexia frowned at her teammates' fascination with the approaching striker.

This is not the time to be fangirling, she thought to herself, as she saw most of her players' eyes following the striker's figure.

As the two top players faced each other, uncertainty lingered about whether they should exchange greetings. Y/N broke the silence, deciding to offer some acknowledgment. ''Hey, you alright?'' Her charming English accent filled the air.

''Yeah, and you?'' Alexia almost cringed at her own quick response, not giving her brain time to think.

''I‘ll see in about 90 minutes.'' The younger one grinned.

I'll wipe that smirk off your fucking face, Alexia said in her mind, not a fan of the confidence the striker was oozing.

Ten minutes later, the referee blew the whistle, signaling the start of the highly-anticipated final.

Lyon applied intense pressure right from the start, managing to create two goal-scoring opportunities within the first three minutes of the match.

However, the audience were offered their first initial glimpse of the rivalry in the 6th minute of the game.

Y/N positioned herself strategically, eyes fixed on her teammate readying a precise pass to her. The ball zipped across the pitch, and in a heartbeat, both Y/N and Alexia were locked onto winning it for themselves.

The striker, a master of timing, surged forward. Simultaneously, the midfielder closed in on the target. The collision was inevitable.

Both players fell with a thud, groaning at the contact with the ground. Despite the force of the clash, they both showed resilience as they wanted to use the momentum to their advantage.

They were momentarily entangled, fighting for control of the ball. It was a brief display of the rivalry that had brewed between them.

Y/N rose swiftly from the turf, eyes filled with determination. The collision had only fueled her competitive fire. With the ball firmly at her feet, she accelerated away from the mess, leaving Alexia behind.

The crowd erupted in gasps and cheers as Y/N, now in open space, scanned the field. Seizing the opportunity, she unleashed a powerful strike from well outside the box.

Time seemed to slow as the ball sailed towards the goal. Panos's desperate dive was in vain as the ball found the back of the net. The roar of the crowd echoed through the stadium, a symphony of cheers and applause for a goal that showcased the skills and spirit of the Lyon captain.

A fleeting scowl crossed Alexia's face, frustrated at the missed opportunity.

Y/N turned on her heels as the net rippled, ready to embrace her teammates who were rushing to her.

''Vamos!'' She roared, the Spanish word escaping her lips like a battle cry.

Yet, she found herself face-to-face not with the familiar sight of Lyon jerseys but with the intensity of Alexia's determined gaze.

Her expression froze for a quick second, confusion adorning her features. Y/N's eyes widened in realization, and for a brief instant, the two captains locked eyes in an unspoken exchange.

The celebration continued around them, teammates engulfing Y/N as they screamed with delight at their captain's prolific opener. The air was filled with jubilation, but within the chaos, the tension lingered between the two captains, adding an intriguing layer to the unfolding drama on the pitch.

The match unfolded further, Barcelona grabbing a few opportunities of their own, but not being clinical enough to score an equalizer. The Spanish squad remained calm, showing no signs of panic in their play, despite being behind.

Selma and Melvine played a great one-two with each other, and the young defender shot a beautiful cross towards the box. Anticipating the trajectory of the ball, Y/N skillfully pulled away from Leon, who undoubtedly had the impossible task of marking the striker.

The ball connected with Y/N's forehead, falling perfectly into the mesh. The scoreboard illuminated with Lyon 2, Barcelona 0. The narrative had shifted as the favorites stomped the ground in frustration, while the ''underdogs'' celebrated another goal from their captain.

The first half flew by. Y/N managed to assist Catarina to make it 3-0, but Alexia found the back of the net to get one back.

3-1.

The second half saw more scoring opportunities for Barcelona, but no one managed to finish the job.

After contact with Martens, Griedge cited experiencing a cramp and asked for treatment- a request that the Barcelona side was not having. Y/N, understanding the frustration of time-wasting, especially when behind in a match, stood aside.

However, the Lyon captain didn't appreciate the scolding she received from the opposition's coach. ''Tell your player to stop the comedy, what a shit job!'' Jonatan exclaimed to the English captain, who observed the scene from the sideline.

Y/N didn't budge, paying him no attention, knowing it was all tactics. She gave an unimpressed look toward the referee, who had been observing the one-sided interaction.

The official ran up to them, pulling a yellow card from her pocket and holding it in front of the manager. ''Step back, please. Don't talk to the opposition.'' she instructed him.

The match eventually resumed. In extra time, Paredes almost managed to pull off a header, but it went flying over the post.

In the last minute of the game, Y/N teamed up with Eugénie to score a last-minute beauty, but the volley slammed against the post.

The piercing sound of the referee's whistle resonated through the stadium, marking the conclusion of the final. Lyon emerged triumphant for a record-extending 8th time.

Overwhelmed by her own emotions, Y/N fell to the ground as the whistle echoed in her ears. It didn't take too long for her teammates to rush up to her, colliding in a chaos of hugs, kisses, and jubilant shouts.

They had done it again, proving once more why all the records were tied to their name.

''Y/N, you're a fucking legend!'' Lindsey yelled in her ear, kissing her cheek multiple times.

As her teammates slowly got up from their celebratory cuddle with the ground, they formed a protective circle around their captain. Hands reached out to help her rise from the grass, and she found herself enveloped in a symphony of gratitude.

Eventually, she shook off her glorious daze, a wide grin etched on her face.

Y/N turned her attention to the defeated Barcelona players, spread out across the field with tears and disappointment staining their cheeks. She approached them, offering a helping hand to those still on the ground and sharing comforting words. Acknowledging the effort they had brought, she assured them that they gave her team a greater fight than the scoreline implied.

Before the Lyon squad embarked on their victory lap to greet the traveling supporters, Y/N's gaze fell on a heartbreaking scene. Across the field, the Spanish captain, Alexia, was cradled in a comforting embrace by a Barcelona staff member as tears streamed down her face.

Y/N hesitated, caught in a ''should I or shouldn't I'' moment with herself.

She chose to make an attempt to resolve whatever tension had built up between them.

Tears glistened on Alexia's cheeks, a testament to the intensity of the match and the dreams left unfulfilled. The Barcelona staff member, offering solace in the face of defeat, glanced up as Y/N approached, and let go of her.

''Alexia,'' Y/N greeted her softly, putting her arm around the Spaniard, ''thank you for the great battle.'' She hadn't prepared what to say, because what do you say against someone you feel like you are supposed to hate? What do you say against someone you've been constantly compared to for over a year?

To the striker's surprise, Alexia reciprocated, feeling an arm on her lower-back. ''Congratulations, you deserved the win. You played phenomenal.'' The midfielder told her, a forced yet genuine small smile making a way onto her face.

''Don't let this hurt you. You are literally one of the best players I have played against- your team is amazing. Use this, like in 2019.'' Y/N advised her, not particularly caring if the opposing player would take it or not.

''We will. I hope we can play many more finals. You make me- you make us grow.'' Alexia stuttered.

Y/N nodded. ''I hope so too. It's been fascinating to see the growth you guys have made these last years.''

The stadium now bore witness to a quieter exchange between the two captains. Almost every camera lens and watchful eye fixated on them.

As Y/N and Alexia exchanged words of mutual respect, their moment of shared understanding was abruptly disrupted by the Barcelona coach.

''Congratulations on the win, Y/N.'' He acknowledged briskly, his gaze quickly turning toward Alexia. His extended hand to her seemed more like a formality, but Y/N accepted it.

Almost forcibly, he placed a hand on Alexia's shoulder, a non-verbal cue that spoke volumes. ''Come on.'' He declared, his tone leaving little room for negotiation and they were off to wherever he needed her to be.

Alexia casted an immediate glance back at Y/N, a mix of emotions played across her face- gratitude for the moment, and frustration at its abrupt end. She hadn't responded to her words yet.

As the Spaniard was led away, Y/N's eyes lingered on the departing figure, a tinge of melancholy in her gaze.

The brief encounter had sparked a momentary connection- a bridge attempting to break through the perceived rivalry and show praise for a strong opponent. However, Jonatan's swift intervention acted like a pair of scissors, cutting through the threads that held that connection.

In Y/N's mind, Alexia had seemed appreciative of the opportunity to have a genuine conversation. She figured there must have been a good reason for her to have been pulled away like that, especially by the head coach.

The Barcelona captain had reacted with a hint of irritation when her coach suggested to the Lyon player to remove her arm from Alexia's shoulder. She tried asking Jonatan why he had coaxed her away, but she didn't receive a proper answer.

The whole thing had left a bitter taste in her mouth. The potential for a more extended, sincere exchange was cut short, leaving Alexia with lingering frustration. There was a desire to understand Y/N beyond the competition, but it was cut short.

She hoped her last glance had worked as a silent acknowledgment of what could have been.