#It's left me feeling kind of unmotivated

[palettepainter]

I wanted to do a bigger piece but I'm exhausted...so instead you get Liv doing the famous pose

[disdaidal]

I feel like a massive idiot right now.

I double-checked my CV several times before sending emails to a few places (libraries nearby me). And only then did I realize that I hadn't customized my email application itself to be directed at a specific place, but I had basically copied the same application to almost all of them (application to the library in my area). 🙈 So then I had to send another email to each one and apologize and politely explain that I had 'accidentally copied' the name of my home area twice in that application, and that I'm 'specifically looking for this place-' yadda yadda.

I wanna crawl under the rock right now and never crawl back out.

[mynameisbillandimaheadcase]

.

[frvnkcastles]

I'd love something where the reader used to work at The Beef from the bear show, bur had to move to NYC and met Frank, she ends up feeding him the best Beef this side of the east coast and he instantly falls in love, then she makes him the Family Spaghetti and he's like "I wanna fuckin marry her" internally? Fluff?

But the reader is very much cooking out of stress as that's how she feels she can i guess win people over to stick around?

(I was the cunt in school on wedges day where I'd shout every one in my group wedges since otherwise I think they wouldn't stick around me,I wasn't smart enough for them but I paid for food.

I still do this with my baking business)

HONEY, DON’T YOU LEAVE ➵ F. CASTLE

Summary: You and Frank bond over your cooking, but you can’t shake the feeling that that’s all he wants from you.

Warnings: Hurt/comfort, language, feminine nicknames

Word count: 2k

Author’s note: Gahhhhh, I am so annoyed that I’m being so slow with requests but college is back in motion and it has NOT been a soft landing, I have been immediately flooded with things to do. On top of that I’ve just been really tired and unmotivated, but I’m trying my best to write at least a little every day! Anon, thank you so much for your patience. I don’t really do crossovers so it’s never specified where the reader worked before, but I hope you like it anyway! I’m sending you so much love <3

Frank fell in love with you quicker than he cared to admit. He had closed himself off from the possibility of finding someone new, not really interested in making connections of any kind, but you came and conquered his heart with immense ease.

It was complete luck, too. It wasn’t unusual for him to pay a visit to a diner for some food and coffee, but you definitely weren’t supposed to be there. You had a history of working in fairly successful restaurants, yet when you had moved to New York, you faced great difficulty with landing a job that you actually wanted. The places you thought were right on your level turned you down, but you needed money for rent, so you lowered your standards, and wound up working for a diner — the same one Frank stumbled into that night.

It had been mostly uneventful and quiet, and you were left alone with the responsibility of closing. There were no other customers except Frank, but he didn’t seem that open to conversation, so you stayed stationed behind the cash register.

And then, two armed men burst in, their faces concealed with ski masks as they held you at gunpoint. With shaky hands, you began to empty the register, but you didn’t have the time to hand over all the money when one of the guys was knocked out to the ground. You flinched, watching in shock and fear how your only customer beat up the other guy and wrangled the gun out of his hands only to whip him in the face with it. You didn’t know what to do, but it seemed he didn’t need your help — within a minute, both armed men were rushing out of the diner with their tails between their legs.

Stunned speechless, you stared at the tall, rugged man who remained. He caught his breath and then turned to you, his sharp features making you swallow. ”You okay, ma’am?” he grunted, his deep voice incredibly enchanting, and you managed a nod. He was about to turn and return to his seat but you found your voice and spoke up.

”Thank you. Let me make it up to you”, you uttered out, making him halt but the look he gave you was almost amused.

”You don’t owe me anythin’, ma’am”, he replied casually, but you weren’t budging.

”Well, I kinda do. Anyway, the food here is… not that great, so maybe you could let me cook for you? Um, we’re closed tomorrow so there’d be no one else here”, you explained, the words coming out of your mouth before your brain fully processed what you were promising him. You were really yearning to cook again, something other than eggs and bacon, and he had definitely earned it.

He eyed you up and down, weighing his options for a second before reluctantly nodding. ”Aight. If you insist”, he agreed, sparking a smile on your face as you nodded to confirm that you weren’t having it any other way. You told him what time to arrive, and as he returned to finish his sandwich, you couldn’t help but feel giddy.

The next day, you got to the diner early and started working on what you hoped would be a meal to remember. You were mostly excited, and at least cooking kept you busy, which meant you didn’t have the time to worry about being alone with the man. Although he had saved your life, it was hard not to be intimidated by him.

As soon as he arrived at the diner, though, he quickly proved to you that there was nothing to fear. He called you ma’am right up until you told him your name and insisted that there was no need to be formal, and when he introduced himself, he did it in a way that was undeniably charming — and polite. You had seen him around the diner enough to know that he wasn’t a chatty person, but as you brought out the food, he attempted to get to know you better and it made your heart race.

You maintained small-talk, but you couldn’t deny you were nervous to find out what he thought of the food. Once he dug in, though, his eyes immediately widened.

”Wow”, Frank blurted out, a little taken aback by the sheer deliciousness. ”Sweetheart, this is amazin’. Where’d you learn how to cook like this?” he inquired, far too curious to not ask.

With heat on your face, you smiled. ”Uh, well, cooking classes mostly. I used to work at a restaurant. Hopefully I will again some day soon. And a lot of practice at home, of course”, you explained, and nodding along your story, Frank divided his attention between the heavenly food and your equally enthralling voice.

”I bet you will. Your talents are wasted in this place”, he commented, making you chuckle softly.

He didn’t stop praising you throughout the meal, but he also asked follow-up questions, keen to learn everything about you. In return, he vaguely opened up about himself, though you could tell he was holding back a little.

That said, the time you spent in that diner over that meal was enough for him to get hooked on you. He kept stopping by for weeks until he finally got the nerve to ask you on a date, suggesting that you’d make dinner together. It hadn’t taken you long to start falling for him, either, so it was easy to agree to what you didn’t realize would bloom into a serious relationship.

Truthfully, you sort of skipped the casual phase. Frank could be an intense man when it came to relationships, even if he hadn’t really thought he would find himself in one. Nevertheless, he felt strongly about you early on, and your first date developed into constantly spending time at each other’s places and sharing a bed on most nights. He tried his best to impress you with his cooking, and while it certainly wasn’t awful, there was a lot you could teach him — and he received the help willingly, eager to listen to you and learn more about your number one passion.

The night that you cooked the spaghetti recipe that your family had followed for years, he was done for.

Maybe if he hadn’t been so captivated by you, and the food, he would have noticed the tension in your shoulders and the constant chewing on your bottom lip. You were quickly falling back into the bad habit of weighing your own worth based on your cooking, convinced that the moment you’d stop making all these elaborate meals for Frank, he would walk out on you. Your way with food was undoubtedly a perk of dating you, and right now, you were struggling to think of any other ones.

”I hope you like it”, you smiled nervously as you handed over the plate of spaghetti to Frank. He gave you an affectionate look and thanked you before giving the food a go, and in an instant, his heart soared.

The food was amazing, but so were you. You had so much talent in you, and when Frank looked up from the plate and met your gaze, he felt so much love in his heart. He admired you and everything you did, finding you so utterly beautiful and amazing and… God, he wanted to marry you.

He had to fight the urge to just announce it there and then, giving you a small smile. ”I’m speechless, sweetheart. You outdo yourself every time. I’m one lucky asshole”, he declared proudly, making you smile but you couldn’t hide the anxiety in your eyes. Would he consider himself lucky if you didn’t cook for him tomorrow?

He noticed the hesitation on your face, though. ”Hey, darlin’. Somethin’ wrong?” he asked with worry evident in his voice, and you rushed to wave it off.

”I’m okay. I’m glad you like it, baby”, you promised, reaching across the table to squeeze his hand.

Only a week later, the issue resurfaced. You came down with the flu and you were rendered useless for a couple of days, giving you a great deal of stress. Frank was all over you, providing you with medication as well as something to drink and eat — and he was not letting you do a thing by yourself. You were his patient to care for and any attempt to get up from the couch was shot down within seconds.

Once his attention faltered from you and he disappeared in the bedroom to find you a cozy sweater, you made your way to the kitchen. Sniffling and aching all over, you began taking out pots and ingredients, and the noise immediately alerted Frank.

”Nah, nah, sweetheart, what’d I tell ya? You ain’t doin’ a thing except rest tonight. You’re sick and you need to just lay down, aight?” he reminded with a firm tone, his hands coming to cover yours in an attempt to stop you.

Reluctantly, you admitted defeat but it didn’t take long for the frustrated, anxious tears to fill your eyes. Frank’s stern expression fell and he tilted his head down at you, concern taking over.

”Hey, hey, hey. I know it sucks but you need to listen to your body right now”, he sighed, trying to understand what was making you cry. You covered your face with one hand as the tears streamed down your cheeks, and with his heart breaking, Frank hauled you into his arms, shushing you softly while wrapping you in a tight embrace.

”I just don’t want you to leave me”, you admitted faintly, and right away, Frank’s eyebrows knitted together and he pulled back to give you a confused look.

”Sweetheart, I ain’t goin’ anywhere. Why would you say that?” he frowned, genuinely surprised by your confession.

With a sniffle, you shrugged. ”You love my cooking. And I guess it’s the main reason you’re with me. So, if I stop cooking… why would you stay?” you explained the logic that you had built inside your own head. But Frank didn’t agree with you, and the fond chuckle that he huffed at you was enough to imply as much.

”Baby, I do love your cooking, but it definitely ain’t the main reason I’m with you. I love you, hear me? I’m with you ’cause you’re so fuckin’ kind and understanding and real supportive. And you make me so goddamn happy. I’d still be just as in love if you stopped cooking for good, yeah? It’s great but it ain’t why I adore you so much”, he countered while lifting one hand up to your jaw and tipping it so you could meet his eye. He looked completely serious, and you really wanted to believe him.

”You mean that?” you asked carefully, and he wasted no time in nodding to confirm.

”I fuckin’ mean it. I, uh… I kinda wanna spend the rest of my life with ya”, he cleared his throat, and astonished to hear that, your eyes flew wide open and a wide smile curled your lips up high.

”Frankie… I want that, too”, you breathed out, earning a tender look from him. He leaned down to kiss your forehead, the soft feeling of his lips making your heart do somersaults.

”Hey, I’mma take over the cookin’ responsibilities this week. You just get cozy on the couch and I’ll whip somethin’ up for us, yeah?” he decided, and you shot him a teasing grin.

”Sure you can handle it?” you wondered, taunting him, and he responded with a mixture of a laugh and a scoff.

”My girl’s a comedian now, huh? Get outta here”, he grumbled, gently patting your ass to encourage you towards the couch.

He may not have been as good of a cook as you were, but he made an effort and stayed true to his promise, not letting you anywhere the kitchen until you were feeling much better. And even then, he insisted on helping or occasionally being in charge, just to show you that you were a team and you didn’t owe him anything.

[vampmorgue]

𝐓𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐃𝐨 𝐔𝐬 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭

𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

series masterlist

Chapter 1: Promises

📖 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘:

𝐀𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠-𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝, 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐬𝐨 ��𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧’𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭.

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐢𝐬 red 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐦 𝐢𝐬 purple.

⚠ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: 18+, afab reader, kook!reader, toxic!rafe, dark!rafe, ghostface!rafe, dark themes, toxic relationship, mentions of addiction, manipulation, jealousy, guilt tripping, love bombing, anxiety mention, profanity, [ smut: unprotected piv, dry humping, oral fem receiving, fingering, edging, slight face fucking?, handjob, missionary, cowgirl, overstim, praise, breeding & choking kink ] mentions of blood, slight gore, knife use, murder & death.

📑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 3.7k

🦇 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: it’s here!!! it’s also the way i was supposed to post this in the summer but then got unmotivated then got back on it and it’s perfect for the season now, happy october! anyway i’m so excited about this mini-series as i have loved the scream franchise for years so i hope you enjoy this as much as i did writing it. (this is also my first attempt at writing smut and actually posting it, but we all start somewhere so hopefully it’s decent.) let me know if you’d like to be on the taglist !

💌 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @assi-me-issa @darkscrossfire @mounthings

©𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃: 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩/𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.

Ever since you got accepted into your dream university on the West Coast, you had a weight lifted off your shoulders, at least a little bit of it.

Your family and friends were all happy and excited for you to achieve your dreams that were coming true, except your boyfriend, Rafe who didn't seem too fond of it even if he said he was. There was only a month left until you had to leave for university, and it's been recently that you thought of breaking up with Rafe. As fucked up as you felt it was, you had your reasoning.

Before issues started, Rafe had given you a promise ring after you graduated high school, and you did see yourself with him as everything seemed so beautiful at the time if you put aside the bad parts beginning to worsen as you and Rafe had spent the entire summertime together meaning you had little time to yourself. Your reasoning for breaking up with him other than a long-distance relationship; Rafe's addiction was worsening then after a couple of tries of helping him was a fail and him treating you worse than ever, and your intuition was feeling weirder every day, you started questioning yourself if you wanted to be with someone like that, but when you took time to yourself while Rafe was away for a little while on vacation with his family, you discovered yourself more and needed to put yourself and dreams first. You couldn’t let anything get in the way of that just like Rafe and his problems were starting to affect it by distracting you. He had graduated a year before you, so you would’ve assumed he had his life figured out already, especially with the kind of father Rafe has, but he didn’t.

You told Rafe to come over as you wanted to tell him in person how you felt. He agreed to it since he wanted to spend more time with you before you left, even though he hated thinking about it, despising it even. Rafe never expected you to leave him, although it was a fear he had.

“Why did you start to think that us parting ways is the best idea?!” Rafe asks you with offense in his tone.

“Because it is!” you protest, “It’s always been my dream to go to school on the West Coast, and I want to focus on that— my career, everything!”

“We can make it work!” Rafe insists, “I can’t believe you want to throw away three years just like that?”

“That was never my plan, Rafe.” you say, “But as the day gets closer… I can’t see us together. You refuse any help on your addiction which is getting worse, and you know that. We’re both going on two completely different paths. We wouldn’t work— most long-distance relationships don't work."

“This is fucking bullshit,” Rafe mutters to himself, slamming your bedroom door shut and leaving your home.

This wasn’t over, even the relationship, and you knew you two would have to talk again, but you didn’t know when. You sigh as you sit on your bed running your fingers through your hair. A part of you felt awful and guilty, and the other part felt relieved to say how you felt toward him; it was like the knot in your stomach was finally detangled, but not completely.

Arguing with Rafe was exhausting enough, no matter how much you had tried giving out you're reasoning in whatever you two would go on about, but your boyfriend always had to have his way.

𖤓

The next night, to your surprise, he had called you first, but Rafe usually held in a grudge for more than a day, so you wondered what had changed if any change at all.

“Hey,” Rafe says through the phone.

“Hi, Rafe,”

“Listen I... I’m sorry about yesterday,” he apologizes, “I just think you haven’t thought it through enough… I love you, Y/N.”

You felt sorry not only for yourself but for him, too. Your gut telling you one thing, but your heart was telling you another. You started to fidget with your promise ring, but you couldn’t take it off nor return it, and it’s not like Rafe would accept the ring back because he wouldn’t and more than likely would never, and a cloud of confusion was surrounding you. Maybe giving him a chance couldn’t seem to hurt you as much as you thought it could.

“Just come over so we can talk things out,” you respond, rubbing the side of your temple.

And with that, Rafe didn’t hesitate and was over within ten minutes. You had texted him to let him know that the front door of your home was unlocked and to head over to your room.

You heard footsteps approaching and saw the door opening with Rafe behind it with slightly red eyes and dilated pupils. Perhaps he was crying as your initial thought while also in denial that he was high, but you were afraid to ask as you wanted the night to end up good and both sides happy and not lose sleep due to your boyfriend's issues. Anxiety was running through you as it made you feel sick to your stomach.

“Look, I’m sorry about last night,” he continues, “I-I shouldn’t have walked out like that, but I also should’ve listened to how you felt.”

“Yes, you should’ve, Rafe.” you express, crossing your arms.

“Y/N, I’m just worried, okay?!” Rafe gestures with his hands.

“About what?”

“You,”

“What about me?”

He sighs as he’s already frustrated with the conversation, “Your safety… you’re on the other side of the country. How will I know you’ll be okay at all times? I can barely even visit you on top of that— it’s just messing with me, okay? I-I don’t know how I’m supposed to cope with this. I need you to tell me how to cope."

“You’re proving my point exactly.” you imply, playing with your ring, “I knew you wouldn’t take it well, and I’d rather you focus on yourself, especially on how much pressure your father is putting on you about the business.”

“Hey! I didn’t come here to talk about that, alright?” he snaps quickly but stops himself from getting even more angry. “Sorry, bad habit…”

“So I’ve seen,” you nod, taking a step closer to him, “But this is both of our futures we’re talking about.”

“I got mine figured out.” he shrugs in denial, “I just need you to figure out yours, that’s all.”

You chuckle in disbelief, “I’ve already told you mine, Rafe. I suggest you listen to your own advice like do you even hear yourself right now?”

"Y/N, I can't imagine my life without you when you play such a big part in it." Rafe vents, “How are you going to be okay there all alone?”

“I can take care of myself just fine, but I won’t be alone,” you mention, “My best friend, Axel got accepted there, too, remember?”

His eyes narrowed at the name you had just mentioned. "Yeah, I remember." He didn’t like that.

Rafe had always shown jealousy towards your best friend, Axel, ever since you two started dating. It wasn’t much of a problem until Rafe had spammed you with calls and texts then confrontations in the end when you were out with Axel more than you had planned to.

He felt as if he were to lose you to someone or something then he knew a part of him would die. He couldn’t bear the thought, even just living in the reality of it and his worst nightmare seeming to come true.

"Please, just give us a chance. I want to make this work out for the both of us," he begs, taking your hands with his and rubbing the ring.

“I’ve given you chances before!” you acknowledge.

“But this time is different! I promise!” he pleads with desperation written all over his eyes.

"And you’ve made promises before that weren’t kept!” you exclaim, pulling your hands away from his.

You felt stuck in the situation. You wanted to cry out of the stress and frustration because it felt like choosing between Rafe and your future, but was Rafe a part of your future or not?

“I won’t break another this time, I promise.” he went on, “This is going to be different, okay? I never want us to be apart…”

His words made you feel a little uneasy, but you didn’t know what to do at this point.

“Let me think about it, please,” you insist, wanting to be left alone in your thoughts, “Just go home and get some rest.”

He nods but then hesitates to leave, “Can I at least show you that I do love you?”

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion, but you agree to it anyway, “Yeah… sure,”

Rafe grabs your waist and pulls you into a kiss to show you that he’s missed this and you especially. After the tension near the end of summer, you and Rafe weren’t as intimate with each other as you both were before, except now everything was slowly coming back as it once was. You kiss back, and you’re surprised at yourself but mostly content.

He lays you onto your bed slowly as he goes down your neck with kisses and marks you. One thing about Rafe is that he was always going to make sure the hickeys were always visible. He tugs off the end of your shirt and looks at you for permission, and you nod, but he needs you to say it.

“I need to hear you say it, baby,”

“Yes, go on,” you answer.

Rafe lifts your shirt off as you take his off too and reveals that you’re not wearing a bra, no complaints though, he loves it. “Fuck, you’re so perfect,” his eyes scan you and his hand travels to your breast, squeezing one as he marks the other making you whine. He was still on top of you and went back to kissing your lips, caressing your neck slightly, and gripping it while grinding himself on you as you felt him getting hard through his clothing. Rafe was eager, but so were you. Perhaps you were missing the feeling of being wanted by the other, maybe it was driving you into that stressful mindset earlier, and maybe you just needed to get fucked; it has been a while.

His arousal was turning you on even more, but you already wanted and needed more of him. “Please… I need you, Rafe.”

“I’m all yours,” he assures while getting up and pulling down your shorts and lowering his head, giving kisses to your inner thighs. He wraps his arms around your thighs and goes down on you with his tongue swirling around your clit and sucking harshly. Two of his fingers enter inside your folds, going in and out at a slow pace only to tease you while his cold rings add to the sensation. “Go faster,” you say.

Rafe does as you say while he devours you as if he is craving you, which he is. “Oh, fuck,” you moan, arching your back as you grind against his mouth. He smirks at the look of your satisfaction. He continues while his other hand travels to your breast, squeezing it, and you lay your hand upon him while you run your fingers through his hair on the other.

A vibration was going through your body as you felt your climax reaching, “I’m close,” you mention and Rafe stops, “Why’d you stop?” you question him with the disappointment that was clear in your voice.

“I’m not just stopping there.” he laughs softly as he unbuckles his belt.

“Wait,” you pause, “Do you have a condom?”

“If I knew this would happen, I would’ve,” he admits.

“Whatever, I’m on the pill, anyway.” you grab his face and pull him down to your level kissing him again and his tongue enters your mouth.

Rafe started stroking himself as he already was dripping with precum, but you take over by teasing him by palming the tip, and then stroking him as he’s massaging your swollen clit with his hand while you start stroking him faster to tease him back from earlier which caught him by surprise in a good way. “Aw, fuck, just like that,” he catches a glimpse of the way your acrylic nails looked so pretty as you’re stroking him, “I’m paying for your next set just so you know.” He pecks your lips.

“I need you… now.” you whine, and he quickly adjusts himself, “You ready?” he smirks.

“Yes,” you respond, wrapping your legs around his hips.

He starts slow at first so you can get used to it again and wait to give him the okay to go faster. “Tell me if it hurts, it's been a while,” he reassures, and you nod.

Rafe grips your hips as he thrusts in deeper and deeper, “Okay, go faster,” you confirm, and he fastens his pace making your body feel euphoric. His grip on you was so strong, but you were numb to it as the pleasure he was giving you was taking over. “H-harder!” you demand, moaning in his ear.

“Fuck!" he swears in between his moans and lets go of your left hip to put a grip on your neck slightly choking you and looks into your eyes. “God, if only you could see yourself right now, you look and feel so fucking amazing.”

Your smile in pleasure as you dig your nails, leaving scratch marks on his back from how fast and hard, he’s going. Rafe didn’t mind it though, it added to the fun, and it felt good to him as well.

“I-I wanna ride you,” you confess as you’re catching air and Rafe slows down. “Did you say you wanna ride-”

“Yes,” you confidently reply.

Rafe asks again, "Are you sure? You've never done that before, it might hurt."

"But I want to now," you reassure him, and he softly kisses you and happily switches positions with you to do so.

You forget how big he is as you're readjusting yourself until you're comfortable since it's different from your point of view then you ride him slowly to start. “You can take it. I know you can,” he grins.

Rafe squeezes your thighs and your hips then holds on there as you start going faster, he could’ve came right then and there but wanted you to do so first. In his world, you’ll always be his priority.

“Mhmm,” you moan with your eyes rolling back as you feel your g spot being hit perfectly making you moan again so loudly that you were so glad you had the house all to yourself tonight, “Holy fuck! You’re doing so good, beautiful, so good.” Rafe praises you and pulls you into a hug while you’re still riding him, he stuffs his face between your breasts with kisses traveling to your neck and sucking harshly creating more marks, and you’ll look bruised by the end of the night.

At this point, you start seeing stars and feel your high coming, “I’m close!” you cry out.

“So am I, you want me to fill you up, huh?” Rafe teases, “I’ll gladly do so, I’d do anything for you, I promise you that.”

You spill all over him as he fills you up right after which awakens something in you to keep going. Rafe is caught off guard, but it feels so good, “Awh, f-fuck,” he doesn’t want you to stop but his stamina is running out.

“You can take it,” you smile as you mimic the way he teased before and you take his hands to your breasts massaging them.

He whimpers at his overstimulation causing to you smirk, “Come on, I thought you said you wanted to fill me up? You can do it one more time for me, I know you can.” you tease, and once he hears that, he does as you both mentioned feeling the warmth spilling out.

“That was fucking amazing and so were you,” he says as you lay down next to him, catching your breath.

“Back at you,” you kiss him and he grabs to the tissues on your nightstand to get you cleaned up.

Rafe smiles and pulls the sheets up to you both to keep you from getting cold.

“I’m sorry about yesterday, too,” you add, “I guess a lot was going on, it added to the stress.”

“You don’t need to apologize, I’ll always be here when you need anything, even if it’s just my company. I promise.” Rafe reassures, pulling you into his arms.

“Thank you,” your eyes lighting up at him, “I love you, Rafe,”

“I love you more,” he kisses your forehead, “Get some sleep, it was a long night after all.”

You chuckle and close your eyes, feeling safe in his arms.

𝟏:𝟎𝟔 𝐀𝐌

Rafe woke up nearly forgetting where he was but smiled to himself when he saw you still silently asleep in his arms. He looks at the alarm clock on your nightstand and sees the time. It's not as late as he thought it was, but Rafe had a plan before coming over, and that was to get rid of someone or something that stands in the way of your relationship with him. The first one was your best friend, Axel.

It was the perfect night to do as your parents were on a trip with Axel's parents which meant he was also home alone. The adrenaline was rushing through Rafe as he quietly got out of bed trying not to wake you which wasn't much of a problem since you are a heavy sleeper. He gets dressed and makes sure to turn off his phone since he had no intention of bringing it with him and hides his phone in a dresser you have and makes sure to put it on the bottom with clothing on top of it to hide it.

Rafe nearly swears out loud when he remembers he can't go out the front door nor the back doors since your phone and your parent's devices get notifications of the doors opening and closing. Luckily for him, he snuck out through your bedroom window which is the same window you used to use to sneak out of. He successfully made it to his car and drove it down to the destination he needed to be at l, Axel's house.

Arriving at the house but far away enough to not be seen, Rafe remembered about the costume hidden in his trunk, he had a plan. It seemed silly at first to wear one, but he wasn't planning on getting caught, although the thought of recreating one of his favorite movies was exciting to him. Imagining the people, he hates suffering in agony had brought a type of satisfaction to him, but now there was no more imagining it; he was bringing it to life while a life pays for it to be seen by his very own eyes.

There Axel was peacefully painting a new art canvas. He was going to major in art, but why did it have to be the same university as you? That's what Rafe's problem was. His house was built with lots of those types of windows where anyone could easily see anything. Rafe had already put on the black cloak and the mask with a knife ready in his hand and hid where there were no windows then he pulled out a burner phone he had prepared with the voice changer to give Axel a call.

"Hello?"

"What's your favorite scary movie?"

"That's so original, isn't it?"

"If you wanna talk about something original, you're speaking to the original."

"Alright, listen, man, you got the wrong number. Nice impression though, bye–”

"If you hang up on me, I'll smear your own blood on that canvas you were painting!"

Axel's heart drops and looks around the windows outside, but he sees nothing except the pitch-black night.

Rafe laughs at the silence knowing Axel is scared for his life.

"What do you want from me?"

"I'm not asking for much only just your life."

Rafe sees he's next to the electrical panel and cuts the wires making all the power go off.

"Stop fucking with me, man! I'll call the cops."

"Oh, I don't they'd have enough time to get here, you do live in the middle of the woods." Rafe grabs a large heavy rock with his hand, "Besides, you'll be dead by the time they get here." 

Quickly, Rafe throws the rock to a window to distract Axel and runs to the other side where a door with a glass window that he needs to break to unlock the door.

Rafe succeeds in breaking into the house and hears Axel in another room swearing to himself.

"Shit, this can't be happening," Axel shakes as he tries to find something to defend himself with while Rafe is in the kitchen and throws a glass cup to the living across from him where he saw Axel painting earlier just to see if he'll move.

Axel tries to run out the front door but Rafe sneaks up behind by stabbing him in the back and then putting him in a chokehold before he starts stabbing his chest and stomach multiple times making Axel scream in agony, but he fights back throwing himself backward with Rafe to the wall of glass picture frames and making them both fall to the ground as glass shatters everywhere. Rafe quickly gets up and looks down at Axel who struggles to get up by slipping in his own pool of blood. Rafe kneels to him as he watches him suffer in his own agony and waves his knife around.

Rafe starts swinging his knife again but misses and slices the bloody canvas instead when Axel flips over his body to avoid the knife. This angers Rafe even more to which he wipes his knife with his gloves then stabs the knife onto a wooden table, and grabs Axel by the collar of his shirt making him face the mirror then grabs his knife again and points with it. "Take a good fucking look because this is the last thing you'll ever see before you die," Rafe scowls in his normal voice.

"R-Rafe?' Axel struggles to say before Rafe sliced his throat open and is left there to bleed to his death.

[lunaroracleofvenus]

Hymm of Healing - Pick A Picture

we will divine about how you can feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. There are four piles below 💚

LEFT TO RIGHT P1 -> P2 P3 -> P4

PILE ONE

First card to jump out was an oracle card of celebration. You are radiant and healing. Already complete and whole, now is the time to be whisked away into fun and pleasure. To dance with the wind, and embrace small and big miracles. To feel energetically lighter and more whole,, to put it simple, have more fun. Indulge in hobbies that bring you pleasure. Go outside, build a routine that you enjoy so much that you get excited about doing it the next day. Sounds mundane, but sometimes the most “unspiritual” thing is what’s needed to move your life and self in the direction you need to go. 

But yeah, engage with your solar plexus, and perhaps engage with your sacral chakra more too, to feel light and complete in all the ways that matter. Engage in the “I AM”. Engage with the fire element archetypically. 

I Am - Baby Tate

Pile TWO

Cinderella

For this pile, I am sensing a deep depression, or tribulation. Your surroundings or your mind seems very unmotivating/heavy/foggy right now. Despite this adversity I am getting a message of perseverance. To continue further, because you are greater than your current obstacles. There might not be an immediate solution to whatever the issue is, but I am being reminded of Cinderella enduring her difficult childhood. Having the mental strength to continue anyway. You are much stronger than you think you are. Suspend the doubt, and negativity, and believe in yourself and your future. Possibly cleanse your upper chakras, so you are able to see your situations or self more clearer. Also, you might be able to download a creative solution, or idea once you have cleansed. The upper chakras I am referring to are the third eye, throat chakra and crown chakra. But yeah, just to wrap up this reading, you are deeply resilient and deserve all the better days that ARE coming. Also, a more emphasis is being given on the throat chakra. Communicating your wants and needs, and saying your precious no’s and yes’s. Just taking more control of life in areas you can and mental resilience  will help you feel energetically lighter and more whole in all the ways that matter. You are not a doormat.

Superwoman - Alicia Keys

Worth Ethic - Toni Jones

Pile THREE

This pile took me slightly longer to pull a card.  You might be feeling like you are constantly searching for something. Or that something might be missing? Though, I think gratitude will enable you to feel energetically lighter, whole and complete. Nothing is missing.  You may be suffering with self doubt. You need to be more present, grounded and “cheer up”. There seems to be so much to be grateful for in your life. The throat chakra seems to be highlighted here. Lots of blue imagery. I think you may need to express yourself more. It might be creatively or personally, but yeah. Self expression, and gratitude will surely lift you energetically and aid you to feel more whole and complete in all the ways you need to right now. The peacock symbolism came up, so you might be experiencing good fortune already or its sure to be coming. Also it seems having more gratitude or kindness to yourself and circumstance might increase your good luck. You might be coming into some extra money as well. Symbolism prevalent: water, lake, peacock, blue, throat chakra, fairy, feathers.

PILE FOUR

To feel energetically lighter and more whole, I think you may need to tap more in your heart chakra and your ability to have faith. Just to have a knowing you are worthy of miracles and good things WILL happen to you. You might have a scarred emotional energy right now, scared of what could happen and the negative possibilities, but im hearing lean into faith. The universe or your guides will take care of you. This shift in mindset will really uplift you energetically! You will be provided with everything you may need. 222. You need to look more into the lucky girl concept or just adopting a mindset of being great, unique and lucky. Because you ARE those things. You might be glowing physically right now. And just a beauty. Just a small mental shift, and your energy will be divine honestly. You are gorgeous and amazing. 

Song: pretty girl era - Lu Kala

Goddess code - lizzy jeff

[scribble-dribble-writes]

Plastic heart - (2)

<<<Prev Next>>>

---

I loved Greta Gerwig's Barbie world. It had a lot of on the nose humor but beneath it was a lot of existential thought. So I wanted to explore that more haha

Also the most Barbie era move is to write fan fiction or make our own stories from the movie. Cause I remember building off The Swan lake and three musketeers when I had Barbies 🤣

---

You were running late, only because your oven gave up on the first batch of cookies to burn it to a crisp. It had never happened before and all these weird happenings didn’t feel like coincidence anymore. And that gnawing pit in your chest plummeted as you saw Ken. Standing in front of the dream house, leaning in to kiss Barbie.

The party music faded and you held tight to your tray as this new feeling washed over you. Not jealousy. Not anger. But a feeling that reminded you that even in this perfect world, you were never understood.

You felt like the only doll in the world.

But Barbie walked away into the house leaving him to pine after her. This was beginning to become unbearable, a contention between the very core of your being. You had your routine, you had your accolades, you had a purpose and yet it all felt a little lonely.

That was it.

Lonely.

How could a Barbie feel lonely in Barbie land?

As he swung his feet in a gleeful turn his eyes caught yours and all you wanted to do was hide.

“Oh hey!”, he waved as he jogged up to you.

“Do you need help with your bags?”, he asked and your cheeks began to feel warm again. Always so kind, he did it with such ease that it made you wonder if he had ever felt angry once.

“You just want to sneak into the dream house.”, you gave him a smile as you continued to walk. Trying to play off your nerves. You couldn't understand it, you had never been nervous before.

“Maybe.”, he drawled as he matched your stride.

The moon was high in the sky and the stars seemed rather stale but his eyes made up for it. They shimmered as he looked into the house that was lit up with activity, some how watching him made you question if he ever felt left out.

“Do you want to take a stroll by the beach?”, you asked him before you could realize what you had done.

“What?”, he turned to you, a confused expression on his face.

It struck you, Barbie’s never skip girl night and here you wanted to.

“No I asked if you would like a cookie?”, you changed it and that smile was restored on his face as he agreed.

Caramel sea salt butter cookies were his favorite and you watched as he bit into it, humming with delight as he remarked how good they were. His eyes turning distant as he searched for Barbie once again.

“Do you ever wonder if she loves me?”, he asked and your eyes went wide. That wasn’t a very ‘Ken’ like question to ask. All of them never questioned anything. But before you could lie to reassure him, he pulled himself together. That smile slapping back into place as he shrugged it off as though nothing had happened.

He thanked you for your time and turned to walk away into the night, taking with him the only warmth you felt in this pink world.

*

There was only one solution to your conundrum. To visit weird barbie. Based on your diagnosis, you were malfunctioning. Your bakery store remained closed because you felt unmotivated or inspired. You were always inspired and when you didn’t feel like it, a visit to the beach was all you needed to fix everything.

But now it felt like there was no solution you could attempt to fix whatever it was you were feeling. You braved yourself, to search for answers that could stop this pain in your chest. So off you went, to the one place every Barbie dreaded to go.

[studentbyday]

week 1. a stuttering start.

i can't believe autumn is already approaching. i feel like i haven't done much to truly live on my own terms this year... (the majority of my time was spent either chained to my desk, living the studying hermit life as usual, or...and this is a new one for this era of my life, feeling like a child following the real adults around on my travels which @zzzzzestforlife documents way better tbh. the travels, that is...)

in addition i've been feeling very unmotivated and numb this school year. even more so than usual. i've never been as zesty as...well, Zesty when it comes to new school years, but it has slowly been getting worse since i started uni and i think i'm getting dangerously close to falling off some cliff i'll later realize was an important cliff to not fall off of. do you get what i mean? i'm only speaking vaguely because i myself do not quite know.

i oscillate between wanting to be extraordinary and extra ordinary. i have fallen back into bad habits, which do not set a good precedent. and overall i feel lost. so so lost that i started reading designing your life. and dulled by the isolation of school i can hardly focus. it's not a new problem, i've just finally been able to put words to it after all these years. engaging and/or cathartic verbal conversation brings me back to life, whether i'm listening or speaking, but i don't get enough of that in my daily life...this is just a very weird mundane state to be in. don't get me wrong, i was relieved to get back to this life with a very predictable pattern after the hectic-ness of travel, but something about it always felt off and i almost can't believe that only now i've realized why.

anyway, feelings pass. and i have overcome the jet lag, so i am that much more energized (and perhaps a little more desperate) to bulldoze through this problem.

Study:

Read/skimmed all the syllabi for anything new (much of it is the same year-to-year as they're all courses in the same faculty and i am resigned to the fact that there will be weighty group work in at least one course out of every year)

Caught up on course announcements

Finished microbiology module for this week (hmmm i read like half of this module last year when i attempted and then dropped this course so it wasn't the most interesting the second time around but i think it'll get better as i get to the new stuff and the nitty-gritty details 🔬 mwahahaha 🦠 i also decided last minute to make flashcards for these and had to transfer my notes to anki. i wish there weren't so many isolated facts or similar but distinct processes i need to remember.)

Made flashcards for half of this week's immunology content (seems to be a memorization-heavy course and i think i really need the active recall since i barely remember the pre-req info 😅 luckily they review it in the module... 🤭)

Reviewed some of the flashcards made this week

Worked on (but didn't finish) global health slides for this week (i'm...not entirely sure what i should be taking notes on or how because...this all seems either very common sense or kind of..."woo-woo" based on my way of understanding the world...but ig that's my own biases talking? i hope they'll just test us on the common sense stuff. that will be easier for my brain 🥴)

Around half of pathology slides are left from this week (probably the most work intensive course i'm taking rn based on the timeline 😵 but also it's shaping up to be my favorite subject this semester because the modules are so well designed AND it's large processes or, even if it's smaller concepts, they're all connected to each other so i don't need flashcards!...i think! i can just pull on the thread of memory and it all unspools (...ideally...)!)

Wrote down due dates for all assessments this semester

Other life things: (yeah idk what to call this section)

I became a 6AM girlie!!! 🥰🥰🥰

Unpacked

Washed my water bottle

Caught up with a friend 💗

Health:

Yoga x2

Journalled x2

Early morning walk in nature x1 (the air smelled so so fresh i was so glad i went out...and even gladder that i went out when i did because after that the air quality got super bad from wildfire smoke 🥺)

Pilates x1 (i made it! in 2 split sessions, but still! and i feel great!!! 😃 i'm so glad i found this channel because she explains the moves in a way that i can get it even with my bad coordination 😅 she also goes slowly and there is no annoying workout music so i can completely focus on the movements and how they feel, it's perfect. 😊)

Music in My Head:

Blue Danube Waltz (OG piano version)

Treat People With Kindness

On the Sunny Side of the Street

Hikaru Nara (the perfect song for my current ambivalent mood because the whole theme of the anime, which is reflected in the sound of this arrangement, is the need to reignite your spark for the things that mean something to you and make the absolute most of it because life is short)

a few dark academia playlists that i put on loop to study to (links under the cut) (somehow the ones with new age music are the only ones i can listen to...light/quiet enough that it doesn't interrupt my thoughts but intense and melodic enough that it puts me in the mood to focus 😅)

[harrietswriting]

hi hi uhhhuhhhhhhhhhhhahahahah

i really like dallas winston.. so..

dallas x reader literally just hanging out? the book made me so sad in 7th and it’s coming back and dallas winston is just heaven sent and doesn’t have enough stuff about him 🙁

an: I took some creative freedom hear and made this sad 😭I'm so unmotivated rn but this is cute so I'm doing this. I tried to research about Dallas's past for this and I found out that for some reason, I was under the impression that Dallas was born and raised in New York, then ran away from home, and that's not really true? But for this fic- his dad is in New York and he ran away from there. I did not make this cute.

W: angst!!, hc about Dallas's past, mentions of abuse, neglect, violence, drinking, and death, not fully proof read, sad because I can and want to.

Dallas Winston x Reader

Angst

You leaned your head back against the wall and sighed.

"What?" Dallas looked over at you. Your legs were over top of his and his back rested against the wall. He placeed a hand on your knee.

"Nothing. I'm just bored." You shrugged.

"So, what do you want to do?" He asked.

You shruged again. He rolled his eyes. "Come here." He patted the spot next to him, so you moved and sat next to him. He slipped his arm around you, pulled you closer, and kissed your temple. You smiled sweetly.

"Its kinda nice being this quiet with you. I can't remember the last time we've just enjoyed eachothers company. You're always talking my ear off." He smiled smuggly.

You huffed out a laugh. "Be quiet." You mumbled with a smile.

He smiled back and pulled you tighter against his side. You two sit in silence for a moment longer, until you broke it.

"You never talk about yourself. Sometimes I feel like I don't know much about you, Dal."

He froze for a moment then looked at you. "What's your point?"

"Tell me about yourself. Like, about what your life was like in New York." You suggest.

He sighed and leaned his head back against the wall. He stared ahead at the other wall. "It was hell."

You waited for him to continue, but once he doesn't, you chimed in again. "Why?" You asked.

He looked at you. He had this look- he didn't look upset, no, he almost looked sad, worried. He sighed again and looked back at the wall.

"My old man, he never really cared for me. He only cared when I screwed up, ya know?"

Your heart ached for him. Even though he wasn't looking at you, you can see his subtle sadness. His eyebrows furrowed slightly, and his voice shook just a bit. It was obvious this was hard for him to talk about. He took his arm off of you and clasped his hands together in his lap. He fidgeted with his ring.

"My mom left before I was old enough to remember her." He looked down at his lap.

"I'm sorry." You said softly. This is so new, Dallas being vulnerable around you, you're kind of unsure on what to do. You gently put your hand over his. He immediately held your hand in both of his.

"Its not your fault." He told you. "I mean, that wasn't it. I could handle my old man beating me and all, but I wasn't in a good part of New York." He glanced at you. "I was in gangs, and not like the gang here, with the guys, like actual gangs, starting when I was really little, like 10."

He continues to give a pretty basic outline of his childhood. He was constantly in fights, stating drinking and smoking at an age way too young, and never had any real good friends before he moved here, he told you.

Dallas Winston was a tragic case. He was born to broken people in poverty, and grew up surrounded by violence. Worst yet, he never had someone to love him, not until he moved here. But, sometimes now you wonder if he ever knew that he was loved.

You place the flowers you brought and sniffle as you stare at the engraved named on the piece of stone by your late lovers final resting place.

Dallas T. Winston.

Mournful tears slip down your face and into the grass below as you recall the day he told you about his past, the day he opened his world to you, the day you finally realized that he had never been shown love.

You can't blame yourself, you know he'd hate that, but you can't help but wonder if this could have been prevented, had you told him you loved him, instead of being too afraid to do so.

You must tell him. So, has your eyes become waterfalls and your chin, a leaky sink, you say it.

"I love you, Dallas."

But it was too late. He died without knowing he was loved.

an: I'm sorry, halfway through I was like and lets make him dead! So here! Sorry for being inactive. I'm trying to get requests done. Love y'all 💕

[punkpandapatrixk]

❤️‍🩹Finding Love ☆ Timeless Tarot Guidance

Elements/Signs in this reading are calibrated to all aenergetic placements. Feel free to read as many Elements/Signs as you feel called to at this point in your spiritual evolution♡

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

You want to see how a nation falls? First, make sure every family unit is fucked. The foundation of the beginning of a ruined society is a dysfunctional family unit. A household that is lacking warmth and affection is a breeding house for psychopaths…or sure-victims of them. How is this not obvious to everybody? Well, in our case, I guess the Boomerangs just didn’t care…enough?

An entire generation of selfish psychopaths preoccupied with order and rules, obsessed with the idea of a ‘perfect image’ even at the cost of the authenticity of their children’s Souls. Tell me if they ain’t breeding new generations of psychopaths? But…who fucked the Boomerangs in the first place? And who had fucked the generation that fucked the Boomerangs? 考えきれない。There’s no end to thinking about it. But!

Not all hope is lost. For we have us—OURSELVES! You, who are reading this, who are blessed with this peculiarly RARE thing in the world: self-awareness. That you’re curious about the roots of your sorrow; that you’re trying to be better; that you’re willing to face your own demons so you grow in character, all because you care enough not to perpetuate the cycle.

There is Hope is us. In people like you and I. For this spiritual work alone, you are going to be blessed with the utmost beautiful Love, first, by finding it inside of yourself~

☆♪°・. aenergetic companion PAC ☆♪°・.

[PAG Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for 🐞Fire Signs - Silver Alchemist (Ramon Llull)

5 of Cups, Queen of Wands, XIX The Sun

You know, Fire Signs are passionate. So passionate they often get way too invested in whatever matters to them. That’s why when betrayal or any other kind of a fallout happens, they find it so difficult to calm down, let alone move on from. I want you to know this isn’t a failure of your character or anything like it, not necessarily, no. You care. And that’s a wonderful thing. And it genuinely, usually, takes A LOT to finally get a Fire Sign to stop caring.

That’s the one thing about you: PASSION. Within the context of this reading, could it be that you’ve been putting your passion on the wrong things, the wrong people? Because you’re not a quitter, right? Maybe you’ve had this tendency of wanting to make sure things work out; after all, you’ve invested so much into this thing, project, people, whatever. Not quitting on the wrong things will only drain you of high-vibrational, positive spiritual aenergy left in you, babe. Then…frustrations and sadness are just going to drain you of more physical energy.

Low energy also makes people irritable, unmotivated and non-optimistic, right? Let not the harshness of your connections with people dim your natural brightness. What’s really important to figure out now is how you can shift your focus on being passionate about things, places, work, and people that truly, truly, bring joy and sunshine into your Life~

'Daughter. Spend your life Loving. Not seeking Love. Ocean need not seek water.' – Dr Jaiya John

Oracle Guidance for Fire Signs🔻❤️

🐏Aries – Priestess of Fortune

🦁Leo – Priestess of Integrity

🎠Sagittarius – Priestess of Opulence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for 🐍Earth Signs - Silver Magus (Merlin)

XV The Devil Rx, 7 of Cups Rx, VI The Lovers Rx

I tend to think that Earth and Water Signs are the TRUE psychopaths of the zodiac LMAO Underdeveloped Taurus, Virgo and Caps are so incredibly selfish and self-centred that they make human interactions such a misery business. And due to the nature of their Earthy-ness—meaning they can be quite hard to shake—Earth Signs can be quite bigoted about certain viewpoints they hold. Within the context of this reading, Earth Signs literally make a hell out of their very own existence through their inability to connect human-to-human with other…humans.

Or is it really an inability? Is it not simply a refusal? An Earth Sign must ponder this upon itself. Maybe you’ve been in refusal to be more empathetic because it is paramount to be empirical in any situation? Perhaps you’re the type of person that values objectivity above all forms of subjectivity? But the Human experience is subjective. Approaching all types of human connection with an eye of business or with the mind of an objective researcher will only hinder your capacity for real empathy.

The Human experience is an empathetic experience. People feel things and sometimes those feelings are heavy and burdensome and they get the better of us—that’s just the reality of being alive XD If you could give yourself the grace of a more subjective point of view when viewing yourself and the many experiences you go through, then maybe it will be that much easier to notice how other people also base their decisions for forming connections through a very subjective lens—and you will see that being this way creates a more true bond between people.

Does all this sound too subversive for logical Earth Signs? XD

The Problem With Being Too Logical in Love by The School of Life

Oracle Guidance for Earth Signs🔻💚

🐂Taurus – Priestess of Luck

🧘🏻‍♀️Virgo – Priestess of Magick

🐐Capricorn – Priestess of Clarity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for ⛲Air Signs - Red Alchemist (John Dee)

XVII The Star, Ace of Cups, 3 of Cups Rx

The Star is associated with Aquarius, right? Whoa, the epitome of Human intelligence :D Air Signs are intelligent and very interested in people—in human relations and understanding what makes people tick. That’s why Air Signs make the best friends and confidants…as long as they don’t run their mouths hahah Now that is a matter of character. What kind of person are you in your friend group(s)? Do you play different characters in different groups? Sounds like a lot of fun XD

Air Signs do tend to have (or belong to) different groups of people depending on function. It’s very interesting. Air Signs can be the glue that connects different groups of people who, without Air Sign, would never have come into contact with one another. Gemini is the fun-loving funny member of a group. Libra is a charming diplomat who’s considerate towards everybody. Aquarius is the pioneering CEO who gets everybody working towards a goal. Ideally, well-developed Air Signs would be these things :D

You should really value this unique intelligence of yours that has the power to eradicate all crazy unreasonable differences in the world, you know. You of all people, I’m very certain, have this keen ability to get to the roots of everybody’s mental problems. After all, you are mental. Air Signs usually don’t get a lot of credits for being empathetic or whatever and that’s true for the most part. But what you do have is this INTEREST in people, and that’s good enough for starters XD It makes you a good person, you know.

Literally, you’re the type that can make friends with just about anybody. You are polite and charming—and those with Venus here are often very beautiful, too!

Oracle Guidance for Air Signs🔻💙

👯Gemini – Priestess of Healing

⚖️Libra – Priestess of Ritual

🏺Aquarius – Priestess of Abundance

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Finding Love for 🐝Water Signs - Green Astronomer (Nicolaus Copernicus)

VII The Chariot, 3 of Swords, Queen of Cups Rx

Hey, what is your Truth? What experiences and emotions have shaped the being that you are today? Do you know for sure? Have you analysed all the feelings you’ve ever struggled with, as well as those that make you realise, Life truly is worthwhile? It’s those moments you’re reminded of what’s good about your Life that you feel gratitude, isn’t it so? Alongside nostalgia and the desire to return to a much simpler time. Time when feelings were a lot easier to process, perhaps. But Life, and this world, needs to keep going on as per Universal Mandate.

What’s left in the past can still be regenerated in the future and it can get even better, too—now that you’ve grown up. Now that you’ve healed a little, or a lot. Heartbreaks with Water Signs always heal when we return to the pool of our authenticity, located deep in the core of our being. Therein lies the tears and the beauty that make you such a deeply compelling character to converse with. If Humans aren’t ready to listen to your truths, write about them; turn emotions into songs or poetry or painting; what have you. Water needs to flow somewhere. Nourishing a lot of life from there.

Water Signs, are Love. Nurturer of Life and nourisher of Human emotions. You should really appreciate the poetry of your sheer existence. So, don’t let this world convince you that there’s something wrong with you because you’re sensitive enough to care about a lot. That’s your strength. It just needs to be directed and redirected to the right things/occasions/people and places. Be generous with your Love and compassion, but take no shit from those who can’t learn to be grateful for a Love as rare and precious as yours~ Know your worth, babe. You’re worth a gazillion dimes.

Oracle Guidance for Water Signs🔻💛

🦀Cancer – Priestess of Enchantment

🦂Scorpio – Priestess of Patience

🎏Pisces – Priestess of Prosperity

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAG Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[peydawgz]

STAY WITH YOU || MOIRA O’DEORAIN X READER

Content: you were caught in an attack on the base,, moira wasn’t there to save you. now she won’t leave.

for @resident-cake-anon !!!

You awake from a deep sleep, the first time you’ve opened those beautiful eyes of yours since your terrible fate. At first, Moira looks like she’s stalking you, a clipboard dropped from her hand. She steps towards the foot of your bed, an angry, empty look on her face that you aren’t used to as she gazes upon your wounds. She’s towering over you now, muttering something under her breath that you can’t quite hear, using her healing powers against your wounds, repatching you up.

“It took you long enough to wake up. I don’t know how much longer I could have seen you like this...” She speaks up, her fire fueled words coming out softly. “And why am I always the one fixing everything up at the end? Who would take care of me if I were to fall?” She lets her frustrations out, tying the bandages around you.

“Moira-“ you speak up in a whisper, your mouth dry. Her expression softens, and she leans over you, getting some water with a little straw for you. She pities you, she couldn’t be mad at you like this… she felt like it was her fault you weren’t protected. She wasn’t there.

When she’s done fixing you up, she remains sitting on the bed with you, just looking at you,, hurting her own feelings with her thoughts.

“Moira, you’re so kind to me.” You say, and she kind of laughs. Kind was not a word used with her name often. “I would save you.” You let her know, looking at her endearingly. You love her, even when she can have her crazy moments. Your words make her smile, like it’s something she’s been needing to hear.

She doesn’t ever leave your side, talking to you about how she’s been taking care of you since the couple days you’d been out. She apparently hadn’t left you then, either. She loved you just as much as you loved her.

She brings you little snacks, coffee, tea, anything you requests she will be back in less than ten minutes. You don’t really want to be alone anyways…

She started to move closer to you each time she returned, until you were laying together eventually, just watching something together on the tiny screen provided.

You fell asleep in her arms, your bodies warm under a blanket together. Usually, she would just fall asleep in a seat pulled up next to you, but this was the next best thing. She has a little healing ball orbiting around you as you nap. Perhaps it would give you good dreams…

You awake, sitting up and seeing Moira had moved out of the bed. After a couple moments of adjusting, you try to get up out of the bed, throwing your legs over and holding onto something nearby to stand. You are weak, your legs shaking as they struggle to hold your weight with the striking pain shooting up your spine. You collapse, falling sideways back onto the bed as you groan in frustration. Why can’t you just be better again already…

At hearing your noise, you hear a noise and fast footsteps moving into the room. Moira is there, holding a little tray with cups and a teapot and she sets it down, hurrying to be next to you. She helps relieve your pain with some medicine, helping you get comfy again. You’re expecting an outrage already, so you speak up. “I’m sorry, I thought I could-“

“It’s okay. You’ll get your strength back, I promise you. Don’t try to push your limits, okay?” She smirks a little, and kisses your head after you start to feel better.

She pours you a hot cup of tea, handing you the little thing on a tiny plate- so fancy. “It’s your favorite. Don’t be unmotivated, my sweet. I’m going to stay forever.” Her tone is defiant, her search for immortality seeping into the conversation.

“Forever? Do you mean that?” You ask, and without pondering a second she responds, “Most definitely, yes. I’ll stay with you forever.”

Who knows… maybe if she breaks the limits of death it is possible. She seems very confident, so you might start to look forward to it.

[terriblesoup]

The reality of Creative Burnout

It's been a while since I've last written anything, and it's been bothering me so when you read this and you picture me as a karen holding her 10 am red wine and with a child-hating fueled anger complaining about the bird noise in her backyard, then you've done me justice that's exactly how I feel and look.

1. Understanding creative burnout: More than just exhaustion

When we talk about burnout in general, it is mostly a consequence of overwhelming tasks on a monotonous routine basis which causes fatigue that is both emotional and physical. Creative burnout is more tied to the emotional and intellectual demands of an artist. It deeply affects the ability to generate new ideas or feeling any joy in one's craft.

And if you've been there,-and I am most certain you have been- you know it's not just being a little tired or feeling like taking a long nap. It’s that special kind of exhaustion where your brain feels like a dried-out sponge someone left in the sun for three weeks.

And when your ideas evaporate faster than your morning coffee and every attempt to create something feels like pulling your own teeth, your brain has never been this loud and blank at the same time. You know it's time to put down your pen and breathe because there's more to it than you being an art failure ( you're not).

And I'll tell you why it's happening to you and not others: because creative work is like putting your soul on display, and when it doesn’t come out perfect, it feels personal. Add to that deadlines, the pressure to innovate, and the charming little voice of self-doubt, and you’ve got the perfect recipe for burnout stew. Plus, let’s be real—most of us work alone. There’s no office buddy to say, “Hey, it’s fine, go take a walk.” Nope, it’s just you and the void, staring each other down.

2. The triggers of creative burnout: Pressure, Perfectionism, and Pace

It doesn’t happen because you’re lazy, unmotivated, or bad at your job. It happens because the world-or your own brain-has decided you need to function like a creativity vending machine. Insert a deadline, press a button, and voilà: a masterpiece pops out. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t work like that.

If you've hit our common wall, it's probably because of one or all the three usually culprits :

High expectations:

The weight of expectations is crushing, especially when you’re the one piling it on yourself.

“Just be better than last time,” you think. Great. Now every project feels like a fight to prove your worth, to everyone, including yourself. Because apparently, creating something good isn’t enough anymore-it has to be perfect. No pressure, though <3.

Tight deadlines (because,duh, genius happens overnight, wait what do you mean you can't? You're fired)

There’s nothing like a deadline to drain the soul out of your work. The clock starts ticking, and suddenly you’re not making art; you’re cranking out products. Deadlines kill spontaneity. They don’t care if you’re inspired or running on fumes.

Let’s be real,when was the last time a creative deadline felt reasonable? It’s always,“Can you have this by yesterday?” Forget brilliance. You’re lucky if you can slap something together that doesn’t embarrass you.

Overworking (this is on you):

“I’ll stop after this one thing.” you won’t! One more thing turns into an all-nighter, which turns into a month of over-caffeinated tunnel vision. The grind never ends because we’ve convinced ourselves that rest is a luxury instead of a necessity.

Working nonstop doesn’t make you a genius. It makes you tired. But sure, keep skipping meals, ignoring friends, and convincing yourself that burnout is just “part of the process.” That always ends well.

3. How burnout affects the creative process: Loss of inspiration and drive

For writers, burnout often looks like the dreaded block. You stare at the page, but the words don’t come. Your once-flowing ideas now feel like trying to pull water from a stone. Artists might find themselves detached from their work, going through the motions with no emotional connection to the piece. Musicians might start to dread performing, feeling overwhelmed by anxiety instead of joy. Whatever the medium, the result is the same: you feel stuck, uninspired, and utterly out of sync with your craft.

The first wave of burnout is frustration. You know you’re capable of more. You remember what it felt like to be in the zone, to create something that lit you up inside. But now, every attempt feels like wading through molasses. The ideas don’t come, or worse, they feel hollow and forced. And when your work doesn’t meet your own standards, the frustration multiplies.

Oh look over there! It's the heaping side of guilt getting closer. You feel like a failure because you’re not creating-or not creating enough-and the shame can be paralyzing. What’s worse is knowing that your creative block isn’t from a lack of talent or skill but sheer exhaustion. You’re stuck in a loop: can’t create because you’re burned out, and can’t shake the burnout because you feel too guilty to rest.

Then it messes with your relationship to your work. You might start to resent the thing you once loved because now it feels like an obligation. Every project feels like a chore, and the joy that once fueled your creativity is nowhere to be found.

The final gut punch of burnout is the loss of drive. That innate desire to create, to express yourself, to bring something new into the world-it’s gone. Or at least, it’s hiding under a mountain of fatigue, frustration, and guilt. Without that drive, even the idea of creating can feel overwhelming.

But here’s the thing: burnout isn’t permanent. It’s a signal-not that you’re broken, but that you’ve been running too hard for too long. The only way back is through rest, reflection, and reminding yourself why you started in the first place. Creativity isn’t something you can force, and burnout isn’t something you can hustle your way out of. Sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is stop.

4. Breaking the cycle: coping mechanisms for recovering from burnout

Burnout recovery isn’t a sprint-it’s a messy, sometimes uncomfortable process. But it’s possible.

Take intentional breaks

No no, not doom-scrolling on your phone or calling it “relaxation” while secretly stressing about unfinished projects. I’m talking real breaks, time spent doing things that genuinely recharge you. Go for a walk, binge that guilty pleasure show without shame, or sit outside and stare at trees like you’re auditioning for a meditation app. The point is to stop trying to be productive for a little while.

Reconnect with your passion

Burnout tends to make your creative passion feel like a chore. To fix that, strip away all the pressure. Draw just for fun. Write nonsense that no one will ever see. Try something new and low-stakes, like pottery or finger painting (yes, finger painting, I like doing makeup to recharge, it requires no thinking). Remember why you started creating in the first place, back when it wasn’t about deadlines or expectations.

Set boundaries like your life depends on It

Because, honestly? It kind of does. Start saying “no” to things that drain you-unreasonable clients, soul-sucking projects, or your own impossible standards. Tell people (and yourself) that your time and energy are finite resources. It’s not selfish; it’s survival.

Seek professional help

Sometimes, burnout runs deeper than “needing a break.” If you’re overwhelmed by guilt, anxiety, or hopelessness, a therapist can help you sort through the emotional mess and build healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy isn’t a last resort; it’s a tool for getting your creative spark back without setting yourself on fire in the process.

Practice self-compassion

This is the hardest one because we’re our own worst critics. But here’s the truth: you’re allowed to step back. You’re allowed to rest. You don’t have to earn your worth through endless creation. Burnout isn’t a personal failure-it’s a sign that you’ve been pushing too hard for too long. Treat yourself with the kindness you’d offer a struggling friend ( and I knoooowww y'all have a problem practicing your own advice, I just know.)

Redefine success

Let go of the idea that you need to be constantly producing to be “successful.” Your worth isn’t tied to how much you create or how perfect it is. Focus on the journey, not the output. Celebrate the small wins, even if they’re as simple as writing one paragraph or sketching a single line( took me two weeks to write this blog btw, I am taking that small win and winning it all over the place).

5. The myths of creative burnout: Overcoming society’s expectations of “nonstop productivity”

Real creatives never run out of ideas

Ever heard someone say, “If you’re a real writer/painter/musician, the ideas will always flow”? Yeah, no. Creativity isn’t a bottomless well; it’s more like a battery that drains with use. And guess what? Batteries need to be recharged. Running out of ideas isn’t a sign you’re a fraud—it’s a sign you’re human. Even the greats had dry spells (Vincent van Gogh painted only about 900 masterpieces; what a slacker, right?).

Productivity equals success

Our society worships the grind. If you’re not constantly producing, you’re seen as lazy or unmotivated. Churning out work nonstop doesn’t guarantee quality-or fulfillment. It guarantees exhaustion. Creativity thrives on space, experimentation, and, yes, sometimes doing absolutely nothing. Success isn’t about how much you produce; it’s about creating something meaningful, even if it takes time.

Burnout means you’re weak

Feeling burnt out doesn’t mean you lack resilience or passion. It means you’ve been pushed (or pushed yourself) too far. Society likes to frame burnout as a personal failure, but it’s often the result of external pressures.

6. Case studies of famous creatives who Struggled with Burnout (because I know you like comparing yourselves to celebrities level of accomplishments)

- Sylvia Plath: The weight of perfectionism

Sylvia Plath was a literary genius, but her pursuit of perfection left her emotionally drained. Known for her meticulous writing process, she placed immense pressure on herself to produce work of extraordinary quality. The weight of expectations-both external and internal-fueled her creativity but also contributed to her burnout.

-Vincent van Gogh: Isolation and emotional strain

Van Gogh’s artistry was inseparable from his emotional vulnerability. Living in near poverty and estranged from much of society, he worked obsessively, creating over 2,000 artworks in a decade. His intense drive often led to physical and mental collapse, and his letters to his brother, Theo, reveal his feelings of inadequacy and despair.

- Virginia Woolf: The strain of genius

Virginia Woolf balanced brilliance with fragility. Her modernist works, like Mrs. Dalloway and To the Lighthouse, revolutionized storytelling, but the intense effort to break traditional literary molds took a toll. She struggled with depressive episodes exacerbated by creative pressure and societal constraints placed on women writers of her era.

These geniuses remind us that brilliance often comes at a cost when unbalanced by rest or self-care. They teach us the importance of acknowledging limits, seeking support ( for the love of God and everything good, please do), and that success isn’t about sacrificing yourself for art; it’s about sustaining a process that brings joy and meaning.

7. Burnout as a catalyst for growth: turning struggles into strength

Our beast (I wonder if there's a hot drawing of the burnout beast somewhere on the internet) strips everything down to the bare essentials. It asks uncomfortable but necessary questions:

“Why am I doing this?”

“What do I really want to create?”

“Am I living my life, or just existing for my work?”

And I know these questions can feel overwhelming, but they’re also the foundation for growth. Many creatives emerge from burnout with a clearer sense of purpose, focusing on what truly matters instead of chasing every expectation or opportunity.

It can also add depth to your work. The frustration, exhaustion, and rebuilding process give you stories to tell, emotions to convey, and empathy for others who struggle. In a way, burnout teaches you not only how to survive but how to thrive (slay...?).

Final thought:

So, yeah, burnout sucks. It's like that awful, ugly detox you didn't sign up for but apparently needed. But hey, if you're lucky enough to survive it, maybe you'll come out the other side a little more self-aware, with healthier boundaries, and maybe even a fresh perspective on what it means to create. Or, you know, you'll just figure out how to keep the chaos at bay long enough to finish that project you’ve been avoiding. Either way, just remember: it's totally fine to take a step back-because if you burn yourself out enough, you'll eventually be forced to. And, funnily enough, that's when you might just make your best stuff.

I've made this blog because I wanted to talk about censorship in political aspects and all that but I've never felt a heavier subject than it, I do not understand why I couldn't do it. I still can't find myself writing about it even though I've already planned the key points and all that baggage. Well anyway, I hope you enjoyed this "light-hearted" subject.

[golden-headband]

Lady Time… and your new helpers.

Fem bodied!Reader x ESAU Wukong and Macaque

AU created by @emelinstriker

Macaque appeared as if he was about to whine like a puppy, looking up at you as you lay on the bed, unmotivated, and without energy. Uncomfortable. And slightly irritated.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” You heard Wukong ask gently to your right. You turn your head into his arm. You had assured before that just lying down with them near you was enough to sooth you in this time of… well… being born a female.

After they discussed-many times-how they could help, you came up with a position that both of them could stay by your side and help you. Knowing they liked the closeness and that feeling of helping you even when there wasn’t really much they could do. Macaque could lay on your left side, using his portal- or shadow powers- to bring chocolates to you while Wukong laid on your right with his hand over your tummy. Where your pain was centered on. You knew that period pains were different for everyone. For you? It felt like your bladder was turned into a vortex of dull knives. You knew the remedies were either painkillers first thing in the morning, or just having something to eat. Hot beverages, heat over the pain. That’s what worked for you before. And chocolate. Lots. And Lots. Of Chocolate. Hence why they had caught you making chocolate chip cookies a few days ago. You were the kind that kept a calendar marked for every time so you could ready yourself for that messy week- or in your case the first few days of the more extreme pain. And since then, they had been eager in helping you in your time. Apparently they had gone through enough Master Incarnations that they had familiarized themselves with more remedies than even you had thought of. You were honestly amazed at how attentive they were. You had only been with them for about three weeks. This was your first time being their Master with your menstrual cycle arriving.

You had always been told guys get uncomfortable with the mention of periods, so you were more used to dancing around the topic, but here they were talking about all the remedies like you were coming down with the common cold and they would be there to help you the whole while. It was endearing.

“The warmth is enough I don’t need any pain killers…” You assured them. Feeling Macaque nuzzling into your side. Making you smile, almost laugh. “I’m better than I was this morning, I’m thankful for that.” You reassure them, moving your hand to lazily scratch Macaques head, feeling him leaning into your touch. On your right you could feel Wukong nuzzling into the crook of your neck. It was all so soothing.

“You sure you don’t want to hit us?” the dark simian offered, making your heart sink. And making him lower his head. Right. You always forget they can ‘feel’ your emotions through this whole ‘bond’ thing that made them insistent on serving you. You wondered if they also feeling this period pain. You sure hoped not.

“That won’t make me feel better. If anything it’ll just make me worse.” You reminded Macaque. You cared too much about them to take your anger out on them. “Besides, I’m not all that angry. I’m just uncomfortable. The chocolate helps though… thanks for making another batch of cookies. It really helps.” You turned and he rose up, knowing exactly what you were going to do. Your lips touched his forehead, and he melted. Both of them curled into you. Their soft fur soothed you. And gosh darnit feeling their tails around you filled your heart with butterflies all over again. They stayed close… until you had to get up.

“Are you alright?” Macaque hurriedly asked. You knew they already missed the excuse to cuddle with you.

“I’m fine. I’ll be right back.” You didn't look back at what face Macaque was making or the probably concerned look on Wukongs face.

“Do you need us to do anything? We’ll do it right away!” You heard Macaque try to reassure you as you stood up and almost wobbled-the price to pay for not using your legs for so long-focusing on the specific door.

“I don’t think this is something you can help me do.” “Why not?” It would’ve made your heart sink hearing how distressed he was. Like you were dismissing his abilities, no confidence in him after all he's done. But then you turned, and he saw which direction you were headed.

“I’m just gonna use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.” You heard how deadpan your tone was. And seeing their expressions almost made you laugh. But you really did need to go. No matter if you had chocolate, pain killers, or heat… if you needed to go, your pain wouldn’t subside.

You knew as soon as you were done, Wukong and Macaque would be there to be your lil snuggle buddies and take care of you while you ride out this whole period thing. You planned on giving each of them a kiss as thanks for everything they did. But where though? Head? Cheek? Lips? ... eh. All of them. Yep. All of them. You concluded with a smile.

[smilesrobotlover]

*crawling into your inbox* Smiles do you have any drawing tips? Everything I’ve drawn recently I’ve just not liked at all and I’m strugglin ;-;

-Sky Floor

Yes! I can try to help!

First things first, there’s a YouTuber named Excaliblader who gives AMAZING art tips. He focuses a lot on anatomy but he also talks about sketches, art motivation, and art styles. His tips are super simple and so easy to understand but also incredibly helpful. He’s an nsfw artist so the examples he uses are a little suggestive but they’re not explicit, but he knows what he’s doing and he’s helped me a lot with anatomy.

As for tips from me, experiment! And when I say experiment I mean push yourself to the edge. Draw things you KNOW will suck. Draw with your left hand, play with different face shapes, experiment with crayons, anything to try something new that you can expect to look bad, if that makes sense. The reason why a lot of my art has different brushes and things is because if I do the same thing over and over again I start to hate it. I need something new to do with drawings. And when you find something that you ENJOY doing (like a certain style, a new brush, etc.) you’ll get so motivated to do stuff with it! This may also help you unlock new skills with art because you’re pushing yourself outside your usual domain and discovering new things. Let’s say your characters have the same face, so you decide to experiment with different facial features. You can start small with downward turned eyes, round eyes, or triangle shaped eyes, just anything to make the eyes distinct. Or you can start with noses. Small button noses, long straight noses, bumpy noses, wide noses, all of that. Soon you’ll be able to draw all kinds of features confidently if you keep at it. But that’s just an example. Also drawing old people, people with extreme features, or just copying an art style can help. You’ll never improve if you do the same thing over and over again. You’ll be good at that one thing! And you may improve with some things in there, but if you want to do more, you’ll just have to do it.

Something I always say is to look at all kinds of tutorials on how people draw and experiment with those. Some draw their faces with a T shape, others add a lot of guidelines. See which one works for you. There’s no right way to draw; if it’s quick and efficient for YOU then it works!

And another thing, art isn’t easy. When you’re drawing, it’s hard to tell how much progress you’re making because from your perspective, you can’t see the road you travel on. If you’re feeling unmotivated and feeling bad about your art, turn around and look at the progress you made. Redraw old art and see how much you improved. Comparison is the thief of joy if you compare yourself to others, but if you compare yourself to your past self, it’ll make a world of difference. You’ll be able to see how far you’ve come. You’ll be able to see the things you were able to achieve and improve upon by actively redrawing something old and comparing it. That’s something that helps me a LOT when I’m feeling bad about my art. I cant tell you how motivating it is!

One more thing that really helps is tracing! Now, tracing someone’s art work and then posting it and claiming it as your own is bad. Obviously. But tracing actually helps your brain know WHERE things are supposed to go. Your hand is able to figure it out as you do it! Tracing real life photos help a LOT with anatomy, and if the artists allows it, tracing good art to help you learn is good! Again, don’t post it as your own. But it’s a great way to learn! It’s best if you trace a photo, and then use that trace as a reference photo, cuz you’re learning how to use a reference in two different ways!

Idk how to help with your issue specifically (I’m at work so I can’t sit down and draw something alas) but these things help me when I’m struggling! And even then I barely know what I’m doing XD

[lottiecrabie]

this is like the 75blr’s easter

what the hell have i been up to you might ask? well i bought plane tickets to england and am planning a trip during february. yes i will be at a 75 concert. yes i will meet some bffs. (me and wrongendofurcigarette in a bunk bed in manc we love to see it!!) i quit my job after two years and a half of being at the bakery. it will Hopefully stick and i won’t be so horrendously broke after my trip that i’ll need to crawl back to them. on a tragic note, my grandpa died and kind of threw our whole lives upside down as my grandma is very sick and it’s kind of impossible to have access to the money to take care of her. i said goodbye to my best friend who is taking a semester abroad, i won’t see her for five months. i updated my instagram after having the same update since 2019. i held a funeral for it today<3 my galatea matty also broke up with his gf today, though has left a door open to go back to her if i say no. if i’m drunk enough i might see him today. i deleted tumblr. i’ve abandoned pfms.

i assume this is why you’re really reading this update. yes, unfortunately, i have been so incredibly unmotivated to write pfms5 for the past six months that i couldn’t bring myself to even dream of continuing it. i have opened the google doc a never ending amount of times, and each of them i would stare at the blank document and exit, or write a few words and hate them and delete. it started bringing such unhappiness that i just didn’t feel like finishing it, and once i realized the thought of having it incomplete didn’t make me want to die, even my usual completist mindset couldn’t force me to finish anything.

i still hope that i’ll one day finish pfms because it’s genuinely a story that i love and want to tell and that i know exactly how it’ll go, but it’s in the way people dream of becoming billionaires. that’s probably not gonna happen, jerry, so start dreaming a back-up plan. until some miracle happens, pfms5 is abandoned and i am Officialy Retired.

i love you all. i originally planned to quiet quit tumblr but then i realized i wanted to still have access to this account when i felt like it😭

[disaster-of-98]

In the time of waiting for ECHOES OF EVALAS i need to fill the void with something soo i mush one hyperfixation with the other one.

Presenting Yuuri Voice Boys x The Magnus Archive, and what fear they would be somehow connected to.

Tldr: of it all

Al - The Desolation

Seth - The Desolation

Finn - The Web / The Eye

Faust - The Lonely / The End

Charlie - The Slaughter

Auron - The Hunt

Jack - The Stranger

and now my explanation:

Al, Seth and The Desolation.

No it's not just because i don't want to separate them ever.

Hear me out on this.

Desolation is the fear of pain, loss, burning, and destruction, especially with a senseless cause. There isn't much burning in Bittersweet, but there is a lot of hurt and loss of people you love.

Al's parents, Seth's mom, Seth leaving Al behind when he left town to be with his mom, Al leaving Seth to be with his parents...whatever is waiting for as in chapter 4.

I was on a fence with Seth being an avatar of the Slaughter (with him being Derek muscle), but decided against it after looking in to those big sad brown eyes.

Finn & Faust

Uummmm Those two are only my speculation because i don't know what the situation is yet.

Finn - The Web / The Eye

The Eye - the fear of being watched, exposed, followed, having secrets exposed. Can also pertain to the drive to know and understand, even if your discoveries might destroy you.

The Web- the fear of being controlled or trapped, especially being unaware of one's own entrapment. The fear of being forced to do things against one's own will, of being manipulated.

This all boils down to what kind of evil Lord Bishop Emrys is. Manipulation or the constant surveillance? From what i already saw i could lean more into The Eye (all of the puns are intended), but i need more information.

Faust - The Lonely / The End

The Lonely -the fear of isolation, of being completely cut off and alone or disconnected from the rest of society.

The End - the fear of death itself—⁠uncaring and unstoppable, the fear that everything ends eventually.

Okay so here i can make a pretty strong case for The Lonely in the Bittersweet dimension. With Faust feeling isolated from his family and from his fans because every one only se the facade that he puts up...or because he does not have any friends.

The End comes to play in the Echoes Of Evalas. Because how did he figure out what's comes next without fear of all of this ending?

Charlie - The Slaughter

The Slaughter- the fear of pure, unpredictable, unmotivated violence. The fear of pain coming at sudden, random moments.

Just look at him! I never seen a little dude that was scared of getting the shit kicked out of him more that Charlie is. Maybe it's just very human fear, but it fits him well.

Auron - The Hunt

The Hunt - the animalistic fear of being chased or hunted; the primal fear of being prey.

Everyone on that corporate ladder are simultaneously scared of The Hunt and an avatar of it. Meaby after Shattered my mind will change, but:

"The first time I looked out this window. I was told that I was looking at opportunit that from this Viewpoint this room I could control whatever I set my mind to I could own manipulate and profit off of it all however I saw fit. I was young too young idealistic and naive I was throwing myself into the lion's den because I thought I was being good my stepfather was a cruel man and I had to learn under him and I remember a warning that he gave me that if I ever looked out this window and saw something other than opportunity if my ambition wilted under the pressure or if I became too comfortable the Wolves would be nipping at my heels soon enough that my back would be littered with the knives of all of those I'd stepped on and over that I would be on the cusp of failure"

Speaks to me pretty loud and clear.

Jack - The Stranger

Disclaimer! I love Jack his new look and new series.

The Stranger- the fear of the unknown, the uncanny, the unfamiliar. The creeping sense that something is not right.

Okay okay i can admit that it's a reach but the boy next door trope kinda scares me a little. Like it's so perfect that's wrong. The redesign isn't helping me shake this feeling either. So he's the avatar of the Stranger.

There are also some pieces of fear of people you just know change and become someone you don't recognize any more.

If you made this far and have an opinion let me read it. Please i need to talk about this with someone.