#It's just that I love it when they're their idiot selves

[escespace]

Merlin: You know, not every problem can be solved with a sword.

Arthur: Not all problems can be solved with magic

Merlin: ...

Arthur: I will stick to what I said

Merlin: ...

Arthur: Okok but you can do this *proceeds to do sword tricks* and I could do it with two!

[palskippah]

Hi! I give you this Stobotnik fankid I made a while ago :'y

She's Sofia --or Ivania or some other name ending in 'ia'-- Robotnik (coolest last name)

It's a compilation and also there's some Stone for practice bc I have no idea how to draw him pipipi Eggman is easier bc it's just his Sonic Boom design (I love it)

Some stuff about this universe under the cut!

(Btw if there's incongruencies is bc I can't make up my mind about the facts whwhw)

-Robotnik and Stone are married, very much married. Cartoon villains in love, I love that for them.

-["MARTHA I'M COMING HOME SWEETIE-"] Mixing up the movie things and the whatever's going on in the Sonic Boom, so Robotnik was gone for eight months and when he's back she's already born.

>Also the drawing is a reference to Icarly's "Whatcha got there?" "A smoothie" but she was clearly asking about the ostrich Spencer brought with him.

>Alternatively, Eggman's there and they go through the journey together yippiee. Choosing names, making evil parenting plans and whatever, being their idiot selves.

(After celebrating because they're good news actually) "I want a boy or a girl-" (Eggman) "Yeah me too." (Stone) "-and we should name them a single, worth of remembering name! Like... Eggette for a girl and Eggson for a boy." "I'm not letting you name them any of that, doctor..." "Okay, then how about Beyonce for a girl and-"

>They wouldn't have kids (?? maybe? I don't really know, I only know sonic boom and the movie :'U)- but she was probably the 1% the birth control warns you about. Also, Stobotnik got a very active seggsual life, and I'm imagining she came to be from a quickie over the desk, why not.

>Helpful diagram of Eggman + Stone kissing and then = baby. They were in work hours.

-In the one where he comes back and the baby's already there, Eggman does a terrible job as a father the few first months, but then he gets the hang of it and it's not so bad.

>He gets projectile vomited on and he's immediately asking to get an abortion (the baby's already born) (he didn't give birth to her), Stone says no anyways.

>"Surprisingly, I'm a good father" he thinks one day and it's because he's still very much an orphan here with no frame of comparation or example aside from researching the matter.

-In the one where they wait for her together, he does all the research necessary in all those months, absolutely refusing in doing an average job in that matter, he's the great Ivo Robotnik c'mon. He excels at anything and he'll be a great father (jk he's terrified of fucking up).

-The Stobotnik family is an evil but loving family, like the bears in Puss in Boots whwh criminal family✨

-For the funny of it, Sonic and Eggman got a sort of relationship like in Sonic Boom, so sometime maybe our favorite boy, Tails and Knuckles had to look after their child.

-Also since Knuckles broke Stone's and Robotnik's hands with their handshake, let's have him handle the baby with the most careful grip ever, just to demonstrate that he didn't have to grab their hands that hard aksdjask

-She's a big fan of Sonic and friends (Sonic the Hedgehog, not Sonic Wachowski, the second guy hadn't done even half the things she admires him for, but no one has the heart to tell her when she's a kid). Has a bunch of merch and all the comics of Sonic the Hedgehog.

>When she's a teenager she proudly uses her Sonic backpack in the same way Deadpool uses his Hello Kitty backpack.

-BTW Sonic, Knuckles and Tails are all brothers and Maddie and Tom's kids bc that's the best idea ever made.

-ALSO I'm definitely gonna draw that scene where Knuckles was about to put the baby in the blender and Sonic shouts THE CHILI DOG NOT THE BABY. Some day, you'll see pipipi.

-SAGE was created for various reasons, to be her sister (since she wouldn't stop asking for one but neither Stone nor Robotnik were willing in raising another human kid, thanks very much), to protect her, and also to answer the tedious "why?" questions that neither father had the patience for (A+ parenting right there). Maybe she was used for the original purpose too idk (I don't know that sonic game where she debuts).

>The child's delighted about having a sister, then she grows up and SAGE doesn't, so she has a little sister.

>METAL SONIC TOO MAYBE? Perfect lil american family, the two happily married parents and their three kids (one human girl, an IA and a robot clone of their alien enemy).

-On her early months she was called Pebble, because she really was a mini Stone, Robotnik went along with it (bc he also looked at her and only saw his husband whw) until she was a little older and they started calling her by her name.

>Alternatively, since Eggman was gone, Stone waited for him to return in hopes of choosing together a name for their child, and Pebble worked as a placeholder since she was just a bebi.

>Alternatively alternatively, Eggman came up with the nickname. ROCK-ONNAISSANCE 🗣️ also yeah I know he was going crazy from the mushroom stuff, but he's not above making silly puns, he's a dad now and also he's naturally silly.

(NGL I really gotta make up my mind about how it all happened ajsdkad)

-She's a spoiled kid and also a little menace, unintentionally evil, she can't help it.

>Good-hearted too sometimes, she loves Sage and does her best to protect her back (it's not necessary but it's appreciated anyways).

-Robotnik calls himself 'daddy' way too much in the live-action movies to ignore it, so he's daddy and Stone's dad (dada when she was younger).

>"These are my daddies!" (points to what's clearly two villains -but also good fathers-)

-She has Robotnik's eyes but as big as Stone's. They're the lethal-est sad puppy eyes ever (they work wonders on both parents and other people) (both men got beautiful dark brown eyes with visible eyelashes fight me).

>Look at Eggman's silly eyelashes:

>Also, you know that picture of Lee Majdoub with the beautiful everything? I think he was wearing eyeliner so my Stone wears eyeliner too in contrast to Eggman's dark circles under his eyes JDJS😭

-She's the five-year-old that made Sonic fear them because 'they can be so cruel when they sense weakness' (she was brutally honest as any young kid is).

-Stone and Robotnik got Gomez and Morticia Addams kinda parenting. They see their child beating up someone and they're like:

"What did we do wrong?" (Stone while shaking his head in disappointment) "I know... she lacks resourcefulness." (Eggman) "Exactly, there's her baseball bat right there, why doesn't she use it?"

-Remember that Shadow said in a game that he wouldn't mind taking a candy from a baby? (fandub I think but still) This comes in handy when neither Tails, Sonic or Knuckles want to upset the kid (so Shadow does it instead).

-She plays sports too because she got too much energy. In each of them she loses her patience. She grabs the football and hauls it at the nearest team member, she throws her baseball bat to the ground and starts beating up whoever threw the ball that she missed, she stomps in frustration if she loses, she's great at dodgeball (sends her classmates to the infirmary).

-Throws tantrums and stuff and overall's an annoying kid if she's upset. Eggman's like UGH WHY'S SHE LIKE THIS?? and Stone's like Because of you, doctor (terrible temperament runs in the family and also Robotnik just spoiled her too much).

-I'm kinda dressing her up in the clothes that existed in my mind that supposedly Eggman wore (the weird dress-like jacket with the big zipper in the middle). Under her jacket there's a dress in the same pattern as the original Eggman's clothes, also she wears a baby onesie like that too.

-When she's older she's definitely proud of her fathers, but she doesn't appreciate the rumors that she's prone to go power-crazy like Robotnik did. Especially because it may be true, but what do they know.

-For the irony, she can't stand drinking coffee, but loves the smell of it because it reminds her of home (omg).

-THEY HAVE A PET CAT like I read in some fics and her name is Robot and she's a lil shit and also grumpy like Robotnik.

>Maybe she brings her alive mice to experiment on all sort of stuff (like Pávlov and his dogs and the guy Skinner with his mice and cats (??))

-She gets to hang out with Sonic and friends under the condition of annoying him as much as possible. So, she complies. (She loves Sonic the Hedgehog, but she loves making her fathers happy more).

-Very smart kid but not to the level of Tails or Robotnik at that age, she's just got very good memory and learning skills and knows a lot of stuff ever since she was a little kid. More like a Matilda-kinda intelligence.

-She's a scientist when she grows up too but the kind that makes evil potions and serums and stuff aksjdk probably (chemistry things? biochem idk). She can make silly little robots for the fun of it but it's not her passion, unlike Robotnik and Stone's. PROBABLY. I'm still deciding.

-BTW LOOK (it says 'carefully crafted ploy to distract space porcupines')

>While Eggman's there with the baby and Sonic in front of him going AWWW BABY BOO and making her laugh, Stone is sneaking up on him holding a chair above his head to knock him out.

THAT'S IT THANKS FOR READING ✨✨

[hollie-san]

matsuno & tea dynamics!

O'Sea [oh-see]🌹🌊 (Osomatsu / Tea) - Romantic F/O

"O, Sea, what I wouldn't give to see my lover tonight..."

[Comical / Comical]

When I think of Osomatsu and Tea, I think of mutual healing. Someone who clicks with you and motivates you to change. The kind of person who loves and sees all of you. Osomatsu and Tea both have many years of neglect and parts of themselves rarely acknowledged and lesser cherished by those around them, until they meet each other. As two adults in love, they bring out the 5 yr old, the 10 yr old, the 15 yr old, the 18 yr old, etc. in each other, and love those parts just as much as their current and blossoming selves.

More passively they are bakapurru udhfuidhf.

Teara [tee-arr-uh] 👑😎 (Karamatsu & Tea) - Platonic

"It's an emergency! Men's Magazine published a new volume!"

[Serious / Serious]

Mutual fashion icons. Karamatsu's masculine gender expression is envy for Tea when they're feeling masc (genderfluid) and Kara is super into Tea's grunge aesthetic!

They're both pretty dramatic and tend to get very performative when interacting together, getting carried away.

Keropea [keh-roe-pee] 🐸🪭(Choromatsu & Tea) - Platonic

"Kyaa~ Nyaa-chan is so cute... we have to get her autograph!"

[Serious / Comical]

They're both egotistical and thus grate each other's nerves, but have overlapping interests like concerts, light novels, and pretending to be mature; thus they're great friends lol. Probably the most flip-floppable dynamic, where Choromatsu & Tea can be the aggressive one or the energetic one.

Their biggest common interest is Nyaa-chan!

Ochi [oh-chee]🐾🐟(Ichimatsu & Tea) - Platonic

"(comfortable silence)"

[Serious / Serious]

I wouldn't say Tea replaces Suuji's dynamic, but rather offers Ichimatsu an orbiter. Where Ichimatsu seeks out and enjoys Jyushimatsu's company, Tea seeks out and enjoys Ichimatsu's. He appreciates the times spent in silence or with the cats, and the rest is growing on him, slowly.

Jyocha [jyoh-chuh] ☀️🌷(Jyushimatsu & Tea) - Platonic F/O

"(whining) I can hustle hustle but I have no muscle muscle!"

[Comical / Comical]

Silly billies. Both are more emotionally intelligent than they let on and silently bond over being the genuine lighthearted coper. Together they become strange and idiotic to the point of always one-upping the other in randomness until reality is bending. It gets out of hand unsupervised, but they're having fun!

They work out together and play pretend!

Tottea [tawt-tee] 🫶✌️(Todomatsu & Tea) - Platonic

"No no no, Osomatsu-niisan is into this sort of thing. Don't worry."

[Serious / Comical]

Easily Tea's saving grace when it comes to reason and logic. Todomatsu's intellect and cunning really get to shine with Tea, who takes his advice more than his brothers do. Most of the time Totty is holding back harping on them, as something in Todo (likely his willingness to step up as a wiser counterpart) brings out the worrywart in Tea, who thinks too much.

Especially about his eldest brother.

[sempersirens]

sun bleached flies | four

masterlist

chapter summary: joel seeks to make amends the only way joel knows how: messily

warnings: 18+, mdni. previous dark!joel/raider!joel. mention of ptsd, nightmares, some sexist/misogynistic comments, lotsa swearing, nihilism, alcohol & bad decisions.

a/n: hello! as you may know, i paused this series for a little while after receiving some comments about the content of this story. i was quite upset and reactive upon first seeing the comments and instantly pulled the series in order to give myself some time to consider whether i wanted to carry on. but, as is obvious, i really do not care anymore. i put detailed warnings before each chapter so everyone knows what they're getting into. if this isn't for you, that's okay! don't read! alas. thank you SO much to all of you who continue to read my silly little stories and send me such kind messages, reblog, and like. i love and cherish you ALL. this chapter is very much giving "it's the drama, mick. i love it.”

Joel's POV

In the movies about the end of the world, humanity always seemed so vulnerable. Not so much in the way that people would be literally picked off one by one by hordes of undead, but there was always the feeling that it took the end of the world for the human race to finally become their true selves. As if the worst of times brought out the best of people.

Joel had hated that trope. Whenever he, Tommy and Sarah picked out a zombie movie at Blockbuster on a Friday night they opted for the most gory, gruesome option on the shelf. They would simultaneously roll their eyes at any cheesy line snuck into the dialogue mid-fight scene - apart from Tommy, who would wipe his bleary eyes with the back of his sleeve in the hope that nobody had seen.

Sat amidst that gathering of lost survivors, each searching for some semblance of safety in the dire form of group therapy, Joel had perhaps for the first time in his life seen true, raw emotion reflecting in your eyes. You had always seemed so composed during your brief but sharp run-ins with one another, but this evening was different.

He'd watched your cheeks turn pink when the idiot stood at the front of the group prompted you to share your story. The way you unravelled speaking about Mia, it was as if your facade had shifted ever so slightly - perhaps even accidentally - because as soon as you realised your mask was slipping, you snatched it straight back and regained composure. Like she was your Achilles heel, the only thing in this world that could bring your walls tumbling down.

Joel had tried to follow you after the session to get you alone to talk about - he didn't even know what. He just knew was the right thing to do, and he had made a promise to himself to start following that gut feeling for once. But he had been trapped by his row of slow-moving attendees with little sense of urgency and menial small talk, and you were long gone by the time he had escaped the barricades of plastic chairs.

You'd had a child, his child. A child he had no right to see, and wasn't even sure if he wanted to see. How could he look her in the eye knowing the reason she had been brought into this world, knowing he had even let such a thing happen, to bring something so small and innocent into such a plagued existence?

A lot of things kept Joel up at night; too many things to count. The fire of bullets before feeling the limpness of Sarah's body in his arms. The mocking song of defeat, noise constantly muffled in his eardrums that reminded him of that damn flinch. Ellie's small body collapsing into his still-weak chest, fresh blood coating her pale skin. The smell of the burning building in their wake.

It was worse when the dreams reminded him of his own cruelty. Settlements raided and burned to the ground. Blades pressed through temples in the dead of night.

And then there was you.

He had stumbled upon you at the peak of his inhumanity. He wanted to blame it on being around the other raiders for so long, that the things he had only ever been a bystander for had finally seeped into his skin and corrupted him. He wished he could reject all of the shame and responsibility as an unconscious action of muscle memory.

When he saw you standing in your kitchen passing his brother a bottle of beer like it was the most mundane action, he thought his subconscious was punishing him again; like his first day in Jackson, when he'd dared to drop his shoulders ever so slightly at the sight of a woman he let himself believe to be Sarah. For that second all logic evaded him, all he could think was that his little girl was alive and well right before him. As if it had all been a bad dream and she would turn to face him like it had only been an hour at most since they'd been apart.

It took just as much time for his brain to remind him he was really seeing you and not another one of his nightmares. Despite the briefness of your encounter all those years ago, he would've known you anywhere. Even if he'd wanted to forget you, his brain wouldn't let him.

You had every right to despise him, to out him to his brother and the entirety of Jackson. Not only had he taken advantage of your vulnerability, he'd failed at the one measly promise he had made you in exchange.

His biggest regret manifested as a Bambi-eyed little girl staring up at him as if he were a stranger. Which in truth, he was.

It was still early when Joel returned home to an empty house. Ellie was staying the night at a friend's, Dina, or something. Tommy and Maria had reassured him that she was a good kid and it would do Ellie some good making friends if they planned on staying in Jackson for the foreseeable future.

So, he retired to bed and tried to disappear underneath the thin duvet in the hope of dreamless sleep.

After tossing and turning for what felt like hours, your feeble voice from earlier ricocheting through his ears, he admitted defeat.

One thing Joel appreciated about Jackson was the lenient opening hours of the Tipsy Bison. Something he didn't appreciate, however, was how the entirety of Jackson's male population seemed to think the same thing.

"Joel," Tommy called across the room as Joel entered the bar.

For god's sake, Joel muttered under his breath, all hope of a peaceful glass of whiskey dissipating at the sight of his little brother waving him over.

"What you doin' here so late?" Tommy questioned, trying to decipher whether Joel had seen through his suggestion of attending the support group.

"Couldn't sleep. Thought I'd make good of this... fine establishment." Joel replied as Tommy signalled to the bartender for two more of whatever he had already been drinking.

Two men Joel hadn't met yet were seated on either side of Tommy, and he didn't care to be introduced to them either.

"You go to that meetin' I told you about?" Tommy was never good at being discreet, making the situation sound more like Joel was eliciting some kind of drug run rather than going to a damn trauma support group.

"I did," the bartender placed a glass of whiskey on the table in front of Joel. "Saw your girl there."

"Oh yeah, she goes every week. How was she?" Tommy's face lit up at the mention of you.

"S'fine. Don't think she likes me very much."

Joel took a swig of his drink as one of the other men chirped up, questioning whether the topic of conversation was about you.

"She's my patrol partner sometimes. Doesn't like anybody very much, don't take it to heart."

"That so?" Joel mused, twirling the glass around in his fingers.

"Spends most of her time with her kid, and if not her, then she's with our Tommy and his Maria. Reckon they're all that's good enough for her in this town."

"Now, don't put yourself down like that, Keith. She's just a private gal, that's all." Tommy reassured the man to his left, earning a raised eyebrow in response.

"Hopefully not that private, I'm takin' her for a drink tomorrow night." Now the man on Tommy's right spoke up.

Joel felt his grip tighten around the glass, his eyes narrowing on the tall but weak-looking man sitting across from him.

"Well I'll be damned," Tommy laughed. "Y'finally wore her down, huh?"

"Other way round, really. I gave into her asking and asking."

"Now, now, Greg. She's a good girl, you better look after her."

"Yeah, really look after her, Greg. Be doin' us all a favour, might put a smile on her face for once." Keith added.

"C'mon now, boys. She's like a sister to me, don't be talkin' about her like that." Tommy grimaced slightly, which soon turned to a snort. He always did lose his backbone after a couple of drinks.

"Like any of you would say that to her face." Joel scoffed, taking a sip of his drink to stop him for saying anymore.

God knows why, but Joel felt defensive over you. Listening to the way Tommy was allowing his friends to speak on you made his blood boil. He could hear thumping in his eardrums, waving his hand in the general direction of the bartender for another glass of whiskey.

"They're just playing, Joel. She can be kinda icy to say the least."

"Yeah, why d'you think that is, Tommy? She's got a damn kid to look after, all on her own."

"I didn't realise you knew her so well." Greg retorted, his face looking more and more punchable by the second.

"I didn't know you were keepin' tabs on my life, who I know and who I don't." Joel spat back with a little too much vim in his voice.

The bartender replaced Joel's empty glass with a filled one, which he knocked back without a second thought before rising in his seat and slamming the glass back on the table.

He turned to leave, feeling the warmth of the alcohol settling in his chest.

"The hell was that all about?" Tommy had followed him outside.

"What?" Joel barked in response, turning to face his brother.

"In there, you gettin' all wound up over nothin'."

"Nothing? You said that girl's like your sister, yet you let them speak on her like that?"

"Oh c'mon, Joel. They're idiots I know, but they're harmless. What's it to you, anyhow?"

"I just thought you were better than that, Tommy."

"You're being crazy. Go home, Joel."

"Where d'you think I'm fuckin' going?"

He waved Tommy away, turning to walk back to his place. However, he didn't want to go home yet. He let his feet take him in the direction of your house, instead.

It wasn't too late, but he still knocked lightly on the front door so as to not wake Mia. He heard some shuffling from inside before the door creaked open.

"Jesus Christ." You breathed.

"Not quite."

"What the fuck do you want, Joel? Why do you keep showing up here?" You demanded, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door softly behind you.

"You know why, we have shit to talk about."

You scoffed and pushed your shoulders back, the smell of alcohol from Joel's breath making the thought process for his surprise visit clear.

"We have nothing to talk about. You. Are. Not. Welcome. Here."

"They were all in the Bison, just know, those pricks from patrol. Greg or whatever, talkin' shit about you. I couldn't stand it."

"Oh, please. What do you want me to do? Get on my knees and thank you for defending my honour?"

"No- not at all. Just don't want you wastin' your time with them when they don't respect you."

"And you do? Respect me?"

Joel couldn't find the words to respond. Everything came flooding over him at once.

"Please, I- I wanna see her."

He surprised even himself at the words that left his mouth, however, you didn't seem surprised. Your eyes narrowed while his widened, watching you take a step toward him, closing the gap between you both.

“Joel, I don’t think you understood at all. Why would I want you near her, when you’re the exact kind of man I'm trying to protect her from?”

taglist: apparently my tags don't always work so fingers crossed these come thru? sorry if i forgot anybody - if you want to be added/removed please lmk! @warm-tea-and-otp @mrsquill @ashleymsnodgrass @bluetattoos @mabermaple @hiroikegawa @casssiopeia @joeldjarin @southernbe @o-sacra-virgo-laudes-tibi @cool-iguana @drewharrisonwriter @none-of-this-makes-any-sense @randomhoex @ilovepedro @koshkaj-blog @ejuliet999 @love-the-abyss @jellybeanxc @mabermaple @radsanchez @powellssaturn @ok-boke @phoebe13 @ahintofkiwistrawberry @smexy-bucky-waifu @withasideofmeg @darkroastjoel @willowsvalley @forestfaeriequeen @radsanchez @moonlightdivine @noisynightmarepoetry @mysingularitybts @misshoneypaper @ezzynf @spideyyhoe @runningmom94 @disassociation-daydreams @serendipity22086 @lionlena @shotgun-shelby @daddy-din @dins-riduur-anthe @phoebe13 @bageldaddy

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=SAEjwwo9S1g

So I know everyone knows this interview off by heart and it’s been spoken about A MILLION TIMES but I would just love love to hear you ramble about from 10:20 onwards bc omg it’s just so sweet and your thoughts on things are always perfection :’) like Miles seems like he’s keeping an eye on Alex for the whole interview and playing off his humour but the fond/amused/exasperated ‘please do’ that he says when Alex goes ‘just to add to that’, and how he sort of glances at Martin in an ‘ah where is this going’ sort of way is just gorgeous xD and the way he squeezes his eyes shut, just waiting to feed off whatever Alex says but wondering what on earth is about to come out of his mouth is just so tender and pure 😭😂 like miles you sweetheart xD

omg i will take ANY opportunity to ramble about this absolute gem of an interview (and about them generally, as we know lol)

anyway yeah, this whole interview truly is peak milex derangement - and this little section in particular??? ughhh it just feels like such an intimate insight into their humour and the way they mess around together. like you can tell they're a bit bored with the interview, and it makes me wonder if this is what they get like when they're bored and restless on bus journeys, waiting for soundcheck etc - if they descend into the same affectionate, humorous madness that no one else quite knows how to deal with. it feels like such a window into their everyday lives and way of interacting, and ugh i just love it, how easy it is to imagine them talking in silly voices and being totally wrapped up in each other in all these other scenarios 🥺

one of absolute my favourite things about this clip is how you can just tell how UTTERLY in tune they are with each other - even when they're not really that engaged with the situation they're in. the way they know each other's subtlest inflections of expression and twist of phrase without even thinking about it. it's all so totally instinctive, and i actually think their interchanges like these, when we get a glimpse into their unique alex-and-miles humour, are at least as intimate as a lot of their more *ahem* explicitly intimate moments onstage. because they just show the way they completely and utterly get each other, how they've built up this whole way of interacting that's just them. miles and alex and no one else.

and you're totally right, you can FEEL the fond exasperation radiating from miles, and also like - idk, just this quiet delight he's clearly taking in alex's presence? it's something you see with both of them a LOT, this sense that they just love being around each other and (even in situations like this where they’re not really into what’s happening around them) there’s nowhere else they really want to be. idk how to explain it, it just feels like there’s just this underlying sense of completion and contentedness when they’re with each other - probably because they’re able to truly be their whole selves when they’re together 🥺

UGHHHHH they make me so emotional 😩

also all the suggestiveness of the “little finger” bits and the way you can SEE miles trying not to get the giggles??? absolute gold 😭

oh dear, i fear this has been ended up being a much longer ramble than i intended, i hope at least some of it made sense 😅 thank you so much for your lovely words and for giving me the opportunity to flail about our two favourite smitten idiots, i love asks like these 🥰🥰

PS i’m so sorry it took me so ridiculously long to answer this - i actually thought i’d posted it weeks ago, but just came across it when i was sorting through my drafts this afternoon 🤦🏻‍♀️

[mimikoolover]

Too many shippers were expecting AYS to be this biiig Jikook ship magnum opus. A fanfic to rival all fanfics. And we got that - kinda. But

- calling interactions "awkward" for any duo in BTS always feels fake to me. That's just a perspective we might get as outsiders, especially because we can't read minds. Many of us here don't even speak or read Korean yet suddenly everyone's a body language expert on Criminal Minds level

- I saw ppl complain about JK not being affectionate when JM was feeling sick. And to those people: have y'all ever had a stomach bug?? Firstly, even if you might look it (like JK jokingly pointed out) you're not gonna die from that. Let's not blow that out of proportion. Secondly, every time I was sick like that, I wanted everyone to just leave me alone. Let's maybe assume that JK, who has spent over a decade with JM in close quarters and in stressful situations, knows how JM wants to be treated when he's ill.

Even if shippers want the best for Jikook, we actually don't know what's best for them. Yes we love them being tender, but if you stop watching those slow-mo compilations of lovey-dovey looks, you can see that Jikook first and foremost are playful idiots. They live to get a rise out of the other. That's their whole thing, and something that only gets amplified whenever they unite with Jin.

I beg everyone to put down the rose tinted glasses and stop setting themselves up for disappointment when it comes to the show.

the first mistake people make is watch any content to look for something to prove either that jikook are dating each other or that they're not dating each other. to me that sounds exhausting. I, like many others, prefer to watch jikook and vibe with what we're seeing rather than go into the overthinking territory and assigning meaning to every fart (lol).

bts as a whole live to tease each other and there's varying degrees of this within the group. they all know each others' limits.

we had wholesome jikook being their goofy selves while they were both ill and tired but they obviously had a really good time so there's nothing anyone can complain about.

[dreamcatcheratdawn]

Hii, do u write for Chris Prince? If yes can u write some hcs for crhis x reader in a platonic way? Like they act like siblings, ty! Ily <3/p

Okay, I liked this idea because it's a bit of a departure from the romance we're used to seeing in fanfics here, it was a bold request. As I don't know Chris Prince as well as I'd like to, I did some in-depth research on him and found some nice things. (And sorry for doing this so late, my little vacation had arrived and I decided to give myself a break before going back to college, so I didn't get involved with anything on social media)

"I'll protect you, always."

Chris Prince x gn!reader Warning: Very fluffy, slight mentions of narcissism, nothing too heavy.

Chris has been your friend since you were both in your mothers' wombs.

Your mothers were best friends, so there was nothing to stop them doing the same with their children. In other words, you and him. Your friendship was so natural that many people mistook you two for brothers.

Not that Chris didn't act like one.

Man, while it was nice to share your moments with him, it was a pain to have Chris Prince all over you, showing off how beautiful and perfect he was. Seriously. He had no shortage of compliments for himself. He complimented you too, but not with the same intensity as he complimented himself.

Oh, there was also that thing about doing things perfectly. When he focused on doing something, he wouldn't let go until he'd successfully completed it. This implied that he lacked interest in his studies, no matter how much you and his parents argued with him to make an effort, but he wouldn't even listen. He also bragged about the things he did perfectly well, like playing chess and ball. He would make fun of you about why you seemed so weak at it. And for the idiot that he was, he didn't realize that this hurt you, until the point that you exploded one day and ran off the soccer pitch.

He was startled by the sudden explosion. Like any child, he got desperate and came after you, and you duly explained your point. It wasn't easy, because making amends was something Prince didn't do, even more often. But for you, he did, even if only in the slightest.

Hearing Chris's apology made you smile, and then you were back to your normal selves.

When you received your first confession letter, Chris felt an extreme need to protect you. He found out about the boy who gave you the letter, and asked you a barrage of questions as if it were an interrogation, asking things like: what are your intentions with her, what made him fall in love with you, and so on.

When you found out what he'd done, Chris thought you were going to give him a scolding, but you just laughed it off, teasing him that he was being too protective, even insinuating that he was jealous of your suitor.

He blushed, starting to freak out, justifying himself by saying that it was only to protect you from bad guys, but you didn't listen.

There was also the day he had to go to Japan, and that day was heartbreaking. You said goodbye, tears rolling down your face as he huffed and puffed, wiping away his tears.

"Don't cry like that, you look like those cats that get ugly when they're wet." He said, laughing. You punched him in the arm, not even having an effect. He said goodbye to his parents and his parents made a point of being present.

After that day, you stayed connected by cell phone, talking every day, without exception. It was like a ritual.

When he grew muscles, you asked God to have mercy on you because this boy was showing off ten times more than before. There were so many photos of his muscles in your gallery that your friends really thought he was your boyfriend, even though you strictly said that you saw him as a brother, and he did the same.

And what a gossip Chris Prince was. He would tell you about every atrocity that happened during his stay in Japan that you wouldn't believe if he didn't have proof. And he would also share with you in messages about his rivalry with Noel Noa. You had the impression that you knew Noel Noa more than you knew yourself, because Chris talked about him so often.

You made a point of following his matches, whether on television, on your cell phone, wherever you went. You were his number one fan, so you would support him in whatever he decided for his future, extolling how incredible he was, even though he was already doing that for himself.

It was about ten years ago that Chris showed up at your college door in a sports car. THE GUY LITERALLY SHOWED UP WITH A FERRARI LA FERRARI ON THE DOORSTEP OF A COLLEGE LIKE IT WAS NOTHING. Clearly your classmates were shocked that you went up to him.

"When did you get here?" You asked, circling the car and getting into the passenger side, staring at the luxury car compartment, totally absorbed.

"Yesterday, at 3:17 in the morning. I didn't tell you because I wanted to surprise you." He smiled mischievously, lifting his sunglasses and showing those captivating blue eyes that always calmed you down.

"And what a surprise." You said, smiling at him and giving him a hug, which he reciprocated by pressing your body to his.

"Come on, I'll take you for a snack. Put your seatbelt on." He said, starting the car. You obeyed him, smiling at your best friend, at your brother you hadn't seen for years, and finally you were together again, ready to live every shared adventure. You would take his friendship to the grave, and he would do the same, with all the certainty in the world.

I don't know what to think about this, I think it's a bit blergh, but okay.

[gocryaboutitt]

How 'bout a little hope?

whats up guys, im back at it again, with the same character, Jess (the australian) its legit about a photo shoot lmao.

"Alright guys, i want you to at least try and act normal, especially you three" she groans while looking over at nikki, tommy and vince. "I dont need to worry about mick, considering he yells at you more than i do" she grins while leaning against the counter in the dressing room.

Mick snickers in the corner while leaning back on the sofa "yeah guys, listen to the australian that constantly sounds drunk", "wow, mick, im hurt" she says while rolling her eyes, "are you three done admiring yourselves in the mirror?" she says while looking at them through the mirror.

"its vince thats pretty much making out with himself, look at him" laughs tommy while standing behind her and leaning his head on her shoulder, "be patient, Jess, it takes time to look this good" "yeah, yeah just hurry up i have to make sure you guys are out there in" she checks her watch, "well fuck." she sighs "what?" they all ask in sync. "you guys were meant to be out there like 10 minutes ago."

"come on you lot, we've got a photo shoot to do" she grins while walking out of the room and making her accent more prominent.

As they're lead down a long corridor that splits off into different rooms, she hears them all snickering in front of her. "what the fuck are you idiots giggling about?" she questions, rather plainly. "It's nothing, sweets" grins tommy as he makes room beside him for her to stand.

"well boys" the producer claps, "and woman" he smiles, "im not sure what emotions you might be feeling but im hoping its joy and not your normal destructive selves" "listen man, no matter what you tell them, they will either get naked or break something" she says while sighing. "You never complain when we're naked for ya, jess" nikki says while smirking.

your view from here on;

"shut up, asswipe" i groan while rolling my eyes, "just go get this shit done so i can go home" i say while walking off in search of somewhere to sit.

"alright guys, just stand here and we'll have your instruments brought over" says the staff member with too much enthusiasm. As they stand in place, get given their instruments, i start to wander around until im standing over by where the photos are being taken.

im standing over by this poor staff member that looks like shes about to piss herself from giggling, i cant help but laugh at the idiots that stand before me "you guys look so fucking stupid right now" i manage to say after catching my breath.

"that's not very nice, sweetheart" pouts vince while looking straight at me, "sorry blondie it's the truth". the producer comes over and stands by me "would you like to get in a photo with them?" he asks while grinning "with those idiots, i would rather scalp myself, look at them, they look like they've never seen a camera!" i groan "well then, i think we're done here, you guys are done and should be good to go" "alright, thank you for this" i smile while holding out my hand.

"its my pleasure!" he grins while shaking my hand and walks away. "alright you idiots, lets get out of here, foods on me" i say while turning around and walk off to the dressing room, as i hear them running after me, "fuck yeah!" yells tommy as he lifts me off the ground "for fuck sakes, put me down, please!" i say as i slump into him.

"no way darlin'" grins nikki as he and tommy begin to run down the corridor, "i'm so glad i don't get motion sick, fuckin' pray for me".

well, that was fun, dont you guys think so? it sucked lmao, im so sorry to whoever reads it.

I love you guys <33

anything is welcome!

[temporary-dysphoria]

In fact, in the interest of me spending the afternoon enjoying my own writing, here's a collection of my favourite lines from How to Train Your Assassins, that still give me the giggles when I read them 2 years after finishing the damn thing. Write for your future selves fellas, just do it.

Chapters One to uhhhh, idk five or eight or something.

I almost forgot how much fun I had writing Goemon.

And how much fun I had writing Goemon and Jigen together.

annnnnnd Jigen and Lupin...tbf the interactions in general were so fun to write.

Badass Goemon was the best Goemon

I really was in my Fujiko/Goemon era here hey?

I remember re-reading this as I tried to get it right and It still gives me the chills. Old Money Lupin is still my favourite origin story.

Speaking of lines that when i re-read them I get chills...

Hi I'm J.R.R Tolkien jnr and I'd like to write about my two blorbo's who know they're in love but neither will admit it cause they're IDIOTS

Lupin is still the only fandom where I get to fully unleash my nerdery about firearms, ammunition and reloading to it's 'nearly' full extent

This had to be one of the first scenes I wanted to shove in, I dunno where I picked it up from but god it took some working on to get right. Ooof still gets me in the feels though.

Anyway, I'm still reading. If there's anyone out there who's still reading or has re-read my behemoth of a magnum opus, add what your fave bits were.

Cause rn it's like I'm reading it for the first time all over again, and I'm having a grand old time.

[dumbass-duo-showdown]

Propaganda for Wayne & Raj

their biggest goal in life is to be pro hockey players together (they're been on the same hockey team since they were children) but if that doesn't pan out, they plan to become beekeepers together because "they both really like syrup." they are so clinically stupid. they think cabbages are fruit. one of them eats things in his sleep and hacks it up like a cat. one of them decided the best time to come out was while falling down the side of a mountain. they think action movies are real.

Two hockey jocks who are best friends. They are smart when it comes to hockey, but not much else. Examples: they think cabbage is a fruit and that syrup comes from bees.

these idiots i love them so much. in the first episode, they didnt know how voting someone OFF THE ISLAND worked when everyone else did. they voted for each other. they think bees make maple syrup. they get convinced that everything on tv is fake, leading them to believe THEYRE fake bc theyre on tv. wayne will apparently eat random shit in his sleep. raj immediately thinks of sports teams when certain animals are mentioned. they have so many double confessionals. theyre besties your honor

Quite literally silly himbo jocks. They fought a cassowary and lost. They voted for each other in an elimination game because they thought voting gave them safety. They sent a guy to a hospital during a tripping prank. Canonically refers to selves as "a hot dog type"

silly hockey bros

They think bees make syrup, enough said

Everytime they were on screen they shared only one braincell

They're both just iconic!!! Firstly these two are inseparable.They do everything together!!! There:s so many amazing scenes with them. Wayne is a suped supportive ally of Raj and Bowies relationship.

They are besties and they are equally so, so silly. What really takes the cake here is that they both genuinely believe that all television shows and movies are real, and when they find out they’re not, they say “At least we can still trust wrestling. :)” They’re hockey players but, if that doesn’t work out for a career, they said they wanted to be beekeepers because they both like syrup. They lost their fake hockey beards and Wayne’s immediate response was, “Maybe I ate them in my sleep!!” And when he starts trying to hack them up, Raj just says, “Wayne’s good at this. :)” During a challenge, Raj lands in a pit of tapioca pudding and instantly assumes it’s vomit, meanwhile Wayne lands on an angry bull and asks, “Why is this cow so mad?! :(“ Wayne calls a skull a “head bone,” Raj calls cabbages “leafy balls.” They’re so supportive of one another and they’re always looking out for each other.

They are both so silly and stupid and they are adorable must watch the season they are in.

“If we don’t go pro” “which is crazy! Cause we’re totally going pro.” “That’s right. But iiiiiiif we don’t? We both really love—“ “syrup.” “So we’re gonna become beekeepers!”

[mugiwara-lucy]

Darling, that Mexican bitch literally bent the knee when President Trump called her Tamale eating ass and when he invades Mexico he'll reduce that shit hole country to rubble while making her suck dick to get ahead the same way he did Cumula. The world knows President Trump is back which is why all world leaders have literally bended the knee and got back in line. Sleeping Joe made the world laugh at us while President Trump is back to keep everyone in line as he's the American boogieman. But anyways, after him and Border Czar Tom Homan gets rid of those worthless parasites from that shit hole third world country with the biggest mass deportation with the help of the Military and local law enforcement, he'll make an example for all law abiding citizens and nip the problem at its bud by razing Mexico to the ground. I can't wait! And then he'll make America the way it was always intended, FOR AMERICANS ONLY! AMERICA FIRST!!

I love how your racism has come out but then again that's why you MAGAts love that deranged old man. Not because of "Gas and Groceries" but you all feel like you can be your trashy, racist selves.

And bend the knee? Stop listening to Trump's bullshit lies and actually listen to what President Sheinbaum actually said.

Trump is NOT dealing with those WEAK MAGA bitches like Laura Loomer, Majorie Taylor Greene and Alina Habba when it comes to President Sheinbaum. She will FUCK HIS ASS EVEN HARDER than when Vice President Harris after she made him cry after their debate.

She'll LITERALLY send him and his tiny hands, that Tom Homan guy and those troops that may be stupid to invade Mexico home in BODY BAGS since Mexico is a sovereign country which means they're our ALLIES. NOT RUSSIA, NOT CHINA, NOT NORTH KOREA AND NOT SAUDI ARABIA. MEXICO IS OUR ALLY. And if he's stupid enough to go through with it (he is), it WILL be an act of war. But you stupid idiots cheering it on? I thought Trump was for "World Peace"? You idiots want him to do an Ethnic cleansing.

And respected around the world? The UN leaders literally LAUGHED at him when he tried to spout the same bullshit that makes his idiot cult like you fawn over him:

It's time you idiots learn that Trump is NOT regarded as this Avatar even though you idiots call him Orange Jesus.

Our Democratic Allies HATE him because you can NOT trust America with him at the helm since he sucks off our enemies since he wants to be an Autocratic dictator like them and even Autocratic rules look at him as a joke since he wants to be them so bad but can't.

And that Tom Homan meathead is an even bigger meathead than Trump since he can NOT use the Military for domestic affairs like Immigrant. That's left to the states. Remember how you guys are all about "States' rights"? Or is it just at your convenience?

And that "American First" shit is the same shit Adolf Hitler did with Nazi Germany back in the 1930s.

[midnight-battiness]

How the heck you idiots did not realize it was a trap by that alucidiot!?

And then you all fail to deal with that oversized bird!?

You all are weaklings

I'D LOVE TO SEE YOU TRY DEALING WITH YVELTAL, YOU DAMNED COWARD! TRY SAYING THAT TO OUR FACE WHEN WE-

...

...Chris?

The heck's gotten into you? You're not gonna say anything?

How dare they.

What?

How dare that anon say anything of the sort. After everything we've been through, putting our lives on the line to make sure we all were able to leave such a stressful situation in one piece, as well as rescuing a Pokemon in the process... Even through all of that, you have the courage to brush aside our efforts?!

Are you really gonna let that guy get to you?!

...Despite all of that... they're right. We haven't even gone on any official missions as of yet. We've attended this school for well over a year, yet we've made no progress... We can't afford to lag behind any further.

W-Well... You h-have a point. We haven't done much.

And... I want to do something about that. Starting tomorrow, I want us to work more with the teachers, alongside Jayden and Lupin. We should all push break past our previous limits and become our best possible selves.

HECK YEAH, CHRIS! You're starting to get it!

I don't see anything wrong with that. Mom's been saying that I'm due for learning how to breathe fire now...

What about... me?

Our main concern is making sure you're safe while we try to figure out what caused you to end up in these circumstances. As far as we're aware, you aren't in fighting shape just yet.

...Okay.

[autobot-ratchet]

MTMTE 1-3

MTMTE 1

“You've earned the right to see the universe without a gun in your hand” is still so good, love that Drift is the one who wrote that line. This is immediately turning into the Drift Retrospective lmfAO sorry but he's my favey and he's integral to this story getting started, I'll talk about everyone else in due time

like right now for instance, aaahhgfsghdfjdk seeing Ratchet talk about how he's joining the Lost Light to find a successor so he can retire has got me feeling things lmAO you find so much more, buddy, you find a whole entire husband and a family and aaaaaagfdshahgkadsjk

Cyclonus is making me feel things too, he's all talking about how Rodimus made promises to him out of moral obligation since he helped out during the last ordeal, he doesn't even know he's gonna kiss that guy in the last issue he's gonna end up your friend, your TRUE friend

God, Prowl referring to Rewind as Chromedome's “best friend” is still so fuckin funny. I know it was because James Roberts wasn't sure if he was gonna be allowed to make them canon husbands yet but it still works in retrospect because it makes Prowl seem like he either doesn't know they're married or does know and is being a dick about it, which are both hilarious options

Oh, sweet Tailgate. The reason I started reading this comic in the first place lmAO Straight up I just saw this cute-ass robot all over my dashboard and was like “I need to know your story” and just went for it, like just based off looks alone. Tailgate is literally so cute that he changed the course of my life for the next fuckin decade

What a fuckin way for Whirl and Cyclonus to meet. *turns to the camera and points with my thumb, smirking knowingly* They don't even know they're gonna be besties

None of these fuckin losers know how happy they're gonna make each other ha ha idiots get friendshipped and romanced

fuck I forgot these idiots have an in-universe wiki on themselves lmfAO

Swerve really did just slap his Autobot badge right on the crotch huh

*turns to the camera again, pointing with my thumb and smirking knowingly at Rung* He doesn't know he's God

Chromedome just casually being ableist at his husband for exposition reasons

extremely funny that Tailgate's first interaction with Whirl involves him nearly vaporizing him by complete accident

damn the Lost Light's journey really does start with the ship just fucking exploding huh

awww the message the crew leaves to their past selves god I can't wait to re-read this comic lmAO I'm already sitting here like “ooh that's foreshadowing for this arc, and THAT'S foreshadowing for THIS arc and THAT'S

MTMTE 2

SKIIIIIIIIDS HEY BUDDY omg *turns to the camera, points, smirks etc* he doesn't know most things

God. I'm still so mad about the foreshadowing that Rung is Primus being present from the very beginning. It was his hat, Mr. Krabs, hE WAS NUMBER ONE. AND ALSO HE AUTO HEALS

him saying that Ratchet's hands are as gentle as sunlight on snow is very adorable though, love that Ratchet immediately takes a fucking hammer to said hands right after he says this

giggles and kicks my gay little feet at Ratchet bitching about Drift, you loooove hiiiiiiiim, yOU LOOOOVE HIIIIIMMMM

they really just let Swerve shatter Tailgate's entire world for laughs huh lmAO

“I'm going to kill you,” he says, “don't think you'll see it coming,” he says, fucking LOL *points at the panel of Cyclonus crying on Whirl's shoulder in Lost Light* LMAOOOOOOOO

Tailgate saw the opportunity to write his own backstory and jumped on that shit immediately, honestly I respect it

three people died just from starting the ship lmfAO god just frame one with the tragedies

and then there's a fucking sparkeater lmfAO it truly just is just nonstop

MTMTE 3

Rodimus when the ship explodes: no one's dying on my watch, we're gonna do our best to save everyone and fix them and make sure they're safe Rodimus when he's told there's a sparkeater on the ship: cool

ohoho, it begins, Tailgate has made first contact with Cyclonus

I do like how even though Swerve very much did kind of force friendship upon Skids, Skids is still hanging out with him. He does think “Skids and Swerve” sounds cool, awwwuhgufghgusdj ❤️❤️❤️

Skids pulling Rung up into the ceilingjhdfskdlghd........ THINKS ABOUT CERTAIN PARTS OF LOST LIGHT........

poor Tailgate got told about the war from the one person on the ship who's a decepticon apologist. To be fair he probably should've gotten more than exactly one (1) perspective before choosing a side but still

[the-spam-specialist]

Chip was in an absolute state. Bawling his little heart out despite Notch and Harper's efforts to calm him. His crying caught the attention of two other little Pokémon who went to investigate what was going on. But Zander had called them over asking for their help "come on you two. I know what might do the trick". The two little knights did as asked and went into the kitchen.

Chip continued to try and get ahold of his emotions but couldn't. He paused briefly when Harper gently wiped his tears away. He sniffled as he gingerly raised his arm and held on to Harper weakly. It didn't take long for his emotions to bubble over again and start crying.

He'd try to regain his composure again and again. Only to start crying yet again. Moments later Ceru and Arma would join them, carrying a tin of biscuits and a tray full of cakes respectively. Ceru put the tin down and immediately ran, and promptly falling over, to hug Notch. Following the two knights was none other than the idiot redhead Zander! Carrying a tray with teapot and freshly made tea.

"Needing a good cry there Chip?" He asked while setting the tray down and preparing him a sippy cup of sweet tea before handing it over. " There ya go, now you go and have yourself a good cry. Get it out of your system". Zander offered tea everyone else before hobbling over to sit down on.

"my old Nana did this whenever I was needing a good cry. ' nought fixes crying like a good cuppa and bickies ' she used tae say.... Lord I really have turned into me Nana... Anyway help ya selves! The cake was made by the best chefs in the house here!" This prompted Arma to get all flustered and a confident chirp from Ceru, who was especially happy to see Notch again.

"Cewafedge!".

Skylertheminish.

Harper felt tense as Zander, Ceru, and Arma entered the room. They feared their presence would spook Chip away. But they were surprised when Chip stayed where he was. They used their shirt to wipe Chip's tear-stained face and handed him to Notch.

"Better not let Bandit catch you doing all this walking around and carrying stuff," Harper said, watching Zander hobble about. They smirked at him, "Then again, it's me you should be afraid of. I'll be carrying you to the couch after this. Don't try to escape, we both know you can't outrun me."

Meanwhile, Notch beckoned Arma and Ceru over, introducing Chip to his fellow housemates.

"Chip, this is Ceru and Arma. They're the other two rescues that live here! They're under Zander's care, just like you!"

Or as he had heard Chip call him the idiot redhead. Hopefully Chip would change his tune about Zander eventually.

"Arma is really smart and really loves baking. And Ceru..." in the excitement of seeing Notch again, Ceru had started chewing on Notch's boot, making the bigger knight chuckle awkwardly, "well, she has her own fun quirks."

[neverchecking]

All the found family, all the time. One of them accidentally calls Daruk 'Dad' and there's no turning back. Teba and Saki have Ultimate Parent energy and are somehow the only other people who can even slightly truly corral the Trio aside from Tia. (They share custody.) One big family.

I do like the idea of the Champions gaining their counterpart's memories as well (even if their's are slightly more... traumatising than the Sage's) so it is a bit of a struggle at first to separate Aaliyah and Sage from their past selves, but they've also been through this before. I think Champ would've been a lot more like Cal due to the pressure put on him, despite Tia's efforts to shield him from that. So while it would take them a little bit to adjust, it's also a quicker adjustment than one would assume. They still slip occasionally, but no more than they do with Champ or accidentally get Champ and Sage confused. I doubt there's any real hard feelings about it since they all know how confusing this is.

But also Daruk snuggling with Aaliyah like a particularly feral kitten trying to take chunks out of him while he thinks it's cute. Aaliyah is just straight up gnawing on him.

Even when Tia enlists his help to try and get her to slow down for five minutes Petal ffs you're 8 months pregnant!

Tia just plucking her feral idiots out of the air gives me life. She spent a lot of time being slung over shoulders now it's her turn to haul them off.

Only Aaliyah gets a little bit more leeway than the boys because she's the one who listens to all of Tia's bitching during teatime. It's gotten to the point Aaliyah started spiking her tea and Tia's not far behind.

("I just want to share some intimacy and closeness and get my back fucking blown out. Is that so much to ask?"

"Tia, I am begging you. Please stop talking about that asshole. I will hear anything else."

"Petal. Petal, I have plans for those scarves and Twi's pelt. I am going to make such a mess of those men. If I can still walk the day after my wedding, I've failed and will need to remedy it for the whole day."

"Tia. Please. How the fuck do you even know about this? You are so virginal and yet!"

"When my study isn't fucking occupied, I read."

"..."

"A lot.")

Tia just wants to get laid, but her three are so respectable and honorable and courteous. Can't they take at least a little bit of advantage? Just a smidgen? Anything?!

It's getting to the point Aaliyah wants Tia to get laid and Tia getting laid isn't something she wants to think about. The day one of them figures out how to make like 99% effective contraceptive tea is the day both of their problems are solved. (Look Tia deserves to have her back blown out. With the amount of bullshit she's been through, minimised or generally averted, she deserves this and so help her, Aaliyah if one of you intervenes, you're all dead to her.)

The biting thing becomes a massively running joke, especially after Tia breaks the streak. One that suddenly turns on them when Tia starts deliberately turning it into a "It has been x amount of days since Tia last gave a hickey to one of her suitors." which in turn Sage takes as a challenge and well, at least none of them are biting the general population any more. The jokes at the wedding get wild.

FNOFNF One of them accidentally dropping the 'D' word and the fam just never letting them forget it. Teba and Saki are the parents man. They're calling the four at like 3 A.M. being like "Where are you?"

"...Bed."

"Wanna try that again?"

"No."

They just have that sixth sense, ya know? HOGHG They have custody days <33

I feel kind of bad that the champs get the memories of like...dying. I doubt Sage and Aaliyah take it personally, but like...It does kind of put them off for a second. Like, they kind of have to take a moment and remind themselves its not on purpose. And it's probably a quicker adjustment like you said. They still slip, but it's momentary and quickly fixed.

I love the idea of people just confusing Champ and Sage until they do something so undeniably them that they're quickly reminded of whose who.

NOFNF Yeah Aaliyah is using the Gorons as a personal chew toy <3 bc they don't feel a thing. And the Zora chew them back >:( And the Rito's have feathers >:(( And the gerudo are all muscle >>:(((

Its a group effort to keep her off her feet at that point. Sage keeps them handcuffed <33

Tia being the buff baby <3 We love her. Dragging away the trio like its nothing.

Aaliyah is the favorite and they can't say anything about it so they just sit there like >:(

Aaliyah doesn't even hide it at one point and Tia just downs like three shots like its nothing. Then just spills her guts. At this point, Aaliyah knows the blond's fantasies better than her own..

("I just know he's a giver. I just know it."

"Tia, please. I don't care. At this point I'd be more willing to hear about Cece's Day."

"I'm telling you. I want to be carried in the day after my wedding day. Like just no usage of my legs. At all."

"I think I'd chew my own ears off rather than listen to this-"

"I mean absolutely just destroyed-"

"OKAY-"

"...You and Sage gonna have to run the kingdom for a day-"

"STOP TALKING-")

Tia fighting for her life fr- Like her boys aren't even holding her hand. They're sitting with enough room for Jesus Hylia in between them and her, hands in their laps. It drives her nuts. Like if she can just get them to brush up against her, she'd be okay for the night.

Aaliyah doesn't wanna think about anyone's sex like other than her own, and now she's being forced to. At this point, it's her life's mission to find a contraceptive. She does find a couple (Wild Carrot Seed, smartweed leaves, Rutin, etc.) and she nearly cries in relief. Its practically thrown in their faces before shes stomping off, yelling about how she doesn't wanna hear shit anymore. (That does not stop her from hearing all of the nitty gritty details, but after that point Aaliyah assumes it's fair game and is able to go into just as disgustingly intimate detail.) At that point, Aaliyah is helping to distract Sweetpea and Sage. Just dragging them off to some made up duty she pulls out of her ass.

The biting thing is their biggest inside joke. Until Tia turns it. Then it turns back into that when Sage turns it back on her. Aaliyah comes so close to buying a muzzle. The general public is relieved that their no longer at threat to being bitten, but everyone else who has to deal with these two are not happy >:(

FIFBF THEIR WEDDINGS (All three) WOULD BE SO MUCH FUN FHOFBF

[maguro13-2]

The Dark Beginnings ~ Origins of the Ink Demon Chapter 0 Final Prologue (True Ending 2/7)

"Earlier in 2003..."

[S.E.E.D. - Kenichi Tokoi]

Yohei : DIE YOU CREATIIIIIIN!!! *gets knocked out* Augh! (moans)

Shotaro the Dokeshi : Yohei, Mana! No! Why!? You told me that I was going to become a God of Death. Where did It went wrong? Why...Would you...?

Mana Hinoki : Shotaro, we we're wrong.

*CRUSH*

Neoshadow : Poor loser. You're not all talk. Can't even think about you fretting yourself to save this measly planet of yours. Who says that this world is possibly the biggest of all? After all, you are part of the Time Eater's victims of wiping out every influencer of the devil who created the world of souls and human-turning weapons that absorbs the energies of Soul.

Mana Hinoki : We...We were only trying to uncover the truth and you bastards want to keep this out of the public eye? You monsters, I can't believe that you all set Emine up to think we humans are bad the ones, but those monsters were the humans their selves and taken his diginity from others like Shotaro when they're kids!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : You son of a b*tch! I'm gonna beat the living sh*t out of you when I get my hands on you! You'll be sorry for that!

Neoshadow : Listen up, wise guy! I don't mean to sound too cynical, but you loose in this game, there's no way that you'll become Darkside Death's slave for a year, won't you? You will be the last in the Ohkuboverse's chronological order as the God of Death himself, how about we should call you Shinigami?

Shotaro the Dokeshi : Shinigami? But that's someone else's title, I can't acclaim that! It's illegal to take one's title as Shinigami, I won't become a slave to your will!

Neoshadow : Or else what, you twit? Can't catch a break from the mighty Shinra Kusakabe? you are the ones responisble for creating the weapons that were hidden within a research facility, you brought this on yourself, just to make witchkind as your only enemies. That is the true purpose of the hatred between humans and witches trying to make love very sour.

Darkside Death : Enough fooling around, ya dumbsh*t. Either you become a God of Death and ruler of the Cosmos, or I'll make you become a God of Death that is my very own slave.

Edward Elric : Hey! You let him go!

Alphonse Elric : Brother! Wh-What is this thing! This thing isn't a reaper, it's a heartless just like what Riku said about them!

Edward Elric : That thing's a heartless? So does this mean...(gasps) Are these all of Shotaro's comrades! Yohei, Mana! What have these heartless has ever done to you, guys!? THOSE PIGS OF DARKNESS!!

Shotaro the Dokeshi : The Elric Brothers, you have arrived! Listen, Edward. Shinra, the boy who truly created Soul Eater, set us up. Demon Vibe was using Emine all along! His foolishness would want others to meet their end, making heartless the enemies of our own! It turns out my old friend Emine who is the enemy was only a puppet to Demon Vibe, this was cleverly a set up trying to take over not the planet itself, but as well as the Galaxy we live in!!!

Edward Elric : So...the entire Ohkuboverse thing was just a front, an illusion, a hoax, all nothing but a fantasy, a dream that worlds like yours don't exist! I thought the Ohkuboverse was something. Truth was right and I was wrong all this time, I felt like an idiot for having friends from the Ohkbuverse that isn't the Ohkuboverse at all.

Yohei : P-Please...!

Mana : H...Help...Help us.

Shotaro the Dokeshi : You gotta believe me! I want you stop this madness right here, right now!

*Energy Warbling*

Alphonse Elric : Edward! What was that? I can feel a strange power coming from somewhere!

Edward Elric : But where is it coming from?

(Sora, Cloud, and the others arrives)

Sora : Elric brothers! What's going on? Hey, that strange sense of heartless energy, I can definitely feel it somewhere before!

Cloud : Are you sure it's not Emine, the Dokeshi who tried to destroy the world?

Sora : No, Emine's heart was consumed by the powers of darkness itself, but he was a puppet controlled by the entity called Demon Vibe.

[Anubis (Impossible) - Maki Kirioka]

Alphonse : Worse. I think you wanna meet this person to ask his permission for it!

Edward : Huh? What the--!?

*DBZ SFX : Surprise*

Sora : Hey, that Darkside! Guys, I don't remember him wielding a scythe in his hand, and it's got a skull on it's body. Riku's powers didn't catch that. The heartless and the evil forces were being connected by that mysterious heartless that I first encountered a year ago. It's got something to do with some kind of Ohkuboverse, don't it? Who or what is that and where did it come from?

Donald : That's Darkside Death, Sora!

Goofy : He's a heartless created by the boy named Shinra Kusakabe 1000 years ago in the Ohkuboverse!

Edward : Darkside Death you say? You guys know it? Shotaro and his comrades were being attacked by that thing?

Alphonse : The entire Ohkuboverse was connected by that heartless all along? I bet this Maka Albarn girl wouldn't suspect that the three heroes of Soul World would be working for a heartless that steal Hearts and Souls from humans and heartless.

Cloud : Didn't feel like we had a nasty surprise from this guy.

Darkside Death : I knew others and this boy would be too much for to be heroes and villains of the Ohkuboverse. Like my creator Shinra, I never thought that you humans would understand the truth and was directly capable of stopping all of Shinra Kusakabe's lies to think that every being in the Ohkuboverse would be working for me! Maka, Black Star, and my son Death the Kid, would be my slaves for all eternity, just to make the Kusakabe Family a fool from the Ohkuboverse.

Sora : So that's why the Evil Forces are wreaking havoc in the Real World. Wait a minute. Soul Eater's world, the evil forces, the Ohkuboverse, It was you! You're controlling the evil forces as a diversion to lure Shinra and the witches out from seeking the truth! You were ordering all this to take over the planet!

Cloud : I should've known, no one should trust a monster like that!

Edward : You lied to all of us, you...HEARTLESS FREAK!

Darkside Death : (snickers) No. Not me, I'm just a...Well, perhaps Demon Vibe took a little advantage on manipulating Shinra while I took position of being ruling Soul Eater's universe, that is why I was controlling these heartless to take over the Earth of Real World AU. In any case of Soul Eater being in my control, you heroes of Sqaure Enix will die, a farewell gift to his only friend Emine, this is the beginning of a new conquest, making humans and witches the enemies to unleashed the hatred itself!

Sora : Hope you're willingly to get wreaked, you backstabber!

(battle begins)

Darkside Death : Now I truly understand what Emine said about destroying the world. That boy was such a fool to think that humanity has committed a sin, and those sins are responsible to make humans the worst of their kind, Emine was contracted by the powers of Darkness and Shotaro is the only one who holds the power of light that sweeps Darkness out of it's reaches! Since my Creator Shinra Kusakabe has found Hope that is the gift of light from Angel Vibe, I have truly discovered that the Ohkuboverse was destroyed by the same entity that scolded Shinra before.

Cloud : All these conflicts in the Ohkuboverse were a bunch of set ups by you, and it's probably because of the Influence from your creator. Isn't Shinra Kusakabe your creator that made Soul Eater into existence! You just wanna smuggle some hearts do ya?

Edward Elric : I thought you were some kind of nice guy, but you're nothing but a jerk that forces this kid to become a Grim Reaper, but no! You were using him as a slave just to gather all the souls of evil people that aren't, they're heartless, the creatures that are manifested from Darkness and they eat people's hearts! You're doing this to Maka Albarn so that you could reign supreme over the planet!

Darkside Death : True which is why I was so desperate that I wanted anyone defeat these peasants that gained the essence of the three-eyed being Demon Vibe! I can almost reach it's power to end all including the witches their selves.

Sora : You're crazy! It could costs an entire galaxy to be swallowed! What you're doing is wrong, you calling yourself a reaper? You're a monster!

Darkside Death : I am no monster. I am a God of Death

Edward Elric : A God of Death you really are...MY ASS!!!

Darkside Death : This will be your lessons to show you the true powers of a God. I will make everyone and this planet suffer, the hatred, the conflicts, the darkness gathering the energy of a million heartless to absorb, Hearts and Souls are the balance between light and darkness, the two forces that make up the universal forces between Angel Vibe the giver of Hope's light and Demon Vibe the source that giver of the powers Darkness, Wickedness, and despair. I wanted all magical forces to be disposed so that I will destroy the Kasugatani Family Tree.

Edward Elric : The Kasugatani? That's what you're after? You're not going to destroy one's legacy are you!?

Cloud : That's going too far! Only Maba the queen of the witches can protect it from you and not Shotaro!

Sora : You'll ever be sorry that you ever with mess with us!

Darkside Death : You pests! I'll crush with my own hands!

Cloud : We'll see you try!

*DBZ SFX : Shock*

??? : Hey! You there! Please, you have get to outta here, now!

Sora : Huh? Who's voice this?

??? : You'll be in danger if you don't get away from him! There's not enough power to defeat that monstrosity! Please, I'm begging you!

Sora : What?

Cloud : Hey, Sora! Snap out of it!

Edward Elric : He's gonna crush us to death!

Darkside Death : (chuckles) This will be the last of your lives. The games are over, time for me to take away your hearts and souls. DIE!

*CLANG!*

Duo (piloting Deathscythe) : You think you have a scythe like Deathscythe? Sorry, but you're no match for my robot's skills!

Darkside Death : What the-? Who is the controller here!

Sora : Hey, isn't that...?

[Advent of Stray Idola by Kenichi Tokoi]

*DBZ SFX : Surprise*

Duo : Next time if you wanna pick a fight, then pick me instead!

Heero : Don't even think about who you are!

Quatre : You won't be so lucky if you ever think about making this world a better place! You should definitely know your place!

Trowa : Don't ever get so too superstitious with the boys! You're going down!

Wufei : I'll make you play by the rules nice and easy!

Darkside Death : YOU MEDDLESOME FOOLS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF WHOM YOU ARE DEALING WITH!

Sora : Hey, thanks for the help guys! We definitely owe you one!

Cloud : So close for us to win, it looks like that we don't have enough power to defeat that thing!

Edward Elric : Al, we gotta get these guys back to the company!

Alphonse : Okay! You take Shotaro, I'll take Yohei.

Cloud : And let me guess, I have to carry the girl.

Sora : No duh! That's why we're saving their lives! Donald, Goofy! We're gonna make a run for it!

(the group leaves)

Duo : Now, let's see what happens you when you mess with the wrong guy! Charge!

"I still have my proclaimed victory of Deathscythe. Even though I do have someone to protect, my friends, my loved ones, and my livelyhood!"

"Now that's the hero I wanted to be! A real slashing reaper piloting a giant machine!"

"Can't turn back now can I?"

"So it's best that we may try our best and win the most."

"I'll keeping on winnning to save our planet earth!

~ Continues to the next part ~