#It's just something I'm very aware of
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mythicalcoolkid · 4 months ago
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You don't wish your disability was worse or more visible, you wish your disability was taken seriously. Please stop confusing the two, I guarantee you would not get the support you need JUST by being more severe or more visible. Please listen to visibly disabled people when we tell you it isn't better on our side
#m/cc#mine#I tried extremely hard to word this nicely because I KNOW people don't mean bad and often even know there are unique challenges#and believe me I know the challenges of invisible disability too!!#I have invisible disabilities!#but as someone who has also been at least visibly 'off' since they were 10 I am SO SICK of invisible disabilities being hailed as like#a unique extra oppression that us lucky visibly disabled people don't have to deal with#there are challenges to invisible disabilities that visibly disabled people DON'T have to deal with!#but you need to understand that *the reverse is also true*#there are MASSIVE benefits to being able to lie about your disability for example#or not dealing with the overt ableism that comes with your disability being obvious to everyone#*I do not have the option to pretend I'm not disabled.* that is never an option I have#I walk weirdly. I use a mobility aid now. my speech and face are 'off.' I lean to one side#for a long time I wore sunglasses 24/7 and often didn't make sense. I sometimes can't speak or won't react to others#for the most part people will always know that at the very least something is wrong with me#and more obviously I have people telling me they'll pray for me; telling me I can't do things I'm already in the process of doing;#wanting to shake my hand to tell me I'm an inspiration for not killing myself; giving me dirty looks for existing in public#and yes. I'm aware that this is very much an in-community issue. I know the average abled person doesn't know invisible disabilities exist#that's why there's so much awareness happening for it#but as a visibly disabled person I get SO TIRED of constantly hearing 'I wish my disability was visible :'('#it's just 'I wish I had your disability!' but from other disabled people
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 2 months ago
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...Turns out gay sex actually was the solution.
(This is basically a redraw, come read the real deal over at Tiger Tiger)
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egophiliac · 2 months ago
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So I was doing some math, and I THINK Skully is almost as tall as Malleus without his horns
I think the main reference to his height is Epel being surprised they're the same age because he's taller than Sebek, yes? which I find interesting, considering Jade and Malleus -- two of the tallest guys in the main cast -- are also there. and, since I've never been one to not think waaaay too much about the absolute stupidest minutiae about fictional characters, I see two possibilities:
one is that Epel is extremely good at eyeballing heights (I actually do feel like he could be? like. I'd believe he can estimate someone's height fairly accurately by calculating based on the life stages of an apple tree, or how many apples tall they are, or something else apple-related like that.) and Scully does, perhaps, fall into that narrow margin between Sebek and Jade in height.
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OR two, out of the three certified Tall Guys there, Sebek is Epel's main frame of reference because he's the only one he's had any real interaction with for, let's be fair, pretty obvious reasons.
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SO in conclusion, we still have no concrete answers and will probably have to wait until next year when we get his card profile, alas alas. 😔
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gabe-lovebot · 8 months ago
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councilor 3D model
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i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up to bring him to life. he's yours now. do whatever you want with him
[link]
please credit me if you make something using the model (or even ping/link me to it, i would love to see what you made!)
currently available as a .blend, .fbx and an SFM port.
#hello councilnation i'm finally releasing him to the wild#have fun playing toys with him#ultrakill#councilor#councilor ultrakill#3d stuff#obviously with the councilor having just 1 full body image of him means that some stuff i had to improvise on#so you get to enjoy my headcanons on how he looks#(like obviously the wings & halo)#(but also the chestplate design)#but did you know that the councilor's canon design has subtle engravings on his forearm armor pieces?#i only barely noticed them when painting textures and i was floored#i had to add them#to the sfm anon and whoever else wants to use this for sfm stuff-#i did my best with a port for sfm and i'm quite proud of the result#but please be aware i have never used it before so if you find that something doesn't work as it should please please let me know!!#gonna pour my heart out in tags as always so close your eyes if you don't wanna see me being sentimental but#i'm not kidding when i say i learnt 3d modelling from the ground up for this#i have meddled with blender before but never actually came close to finishing a project#and i don't know how i did it and how i kept going#(i do know) (it was my friend encouraging me every time i showed him progress)#this was like 1 entire month in the making#but i'm so fucking proud of this and how it turned out and people's tags in my act 2 render genuinely were such a huge confidence boost#so thank you guys for liking it <3#i'm still very much thinking of doing a version with just his bloodied head#but it might take a while because i want a break and i want to play warframe
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mechieonu · 11 months ago
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i know that disney is too big to boycott effectively but that shouldn't translate to "and so we should keep buying their products like normal" but rather "at the very least we should try"
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lgbtlunaverse · 1 month ago
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Horrible thing to say but I think there's a real chance Jiang Yanli was both of her parents' least favorite child and knew it and just kinda. Had to go on with her life knowing that.
#mdzs#jiang yanli#yunmeng siblings#madam yu's favorite kid is jc. she doesn't. um. SHOW it in a very affirming way but he's clearly the one she's emotionally most invested in#jfm's favorite kid is wwx. is he even one of his kids? doesn't matter. he's the favorite#(madam yu does NOT see wwx as her child so he doesn't factor into the calculation for her.)#i think jfm's neglect of jc is talked about. mostly because the both jc and wwx are clearly aware of it and so it's mentioned in novel#but um... DO we see either of yanli's parents give much a shit about her? ever?#jfm doesn't even ask if she WANTS her engagement dissolved before doing so#also the reason stated by other characters for jfm not liking jc is that he's madam yu's child. you know who is ALSO madam yu's child?#i think jfm may find jc.. harder to get along with. but i also think whatever discomfort from his marriage he projects onto his kids#it also extends to yanli. it's just that he's not constantly REMINDED of yanli like he is jc#(because madam yu keeps yelling about it)#and so he just... doesn't think about her much at all#madam yu meanwhile treats yanli with this air of disappointment. she seems to resent that she's 'weak' and gentle and quiet#and that she cares so little about status so as to treat wwx like her little brother#i think yanli is just fundamenally so clearly... not the child either of her parents wanted. and it shows.#i'm slightly peeved fandom doesn't talk about this as much as they talk about the effects the jiang parents had on the two boys.#but to be fair to fandom the book doesn't either#which is probaly just danmei-typical misogyny. but to give a slightly more watsonian reason#i think the yunmeng bros are genuinely unaware of this. yanli is PERFECT how could her parents not love her?#(of course they notice something like zixuan's initial dislike of her but that's blatant.)#(vs the attitude of the jiang parents towards their daughter which seems to be mostly... disinterest and disappointment)
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copia · 5 months ago
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THIRTY-ONE DAYS OF GHOST ⛧ DAY ONE
first song you heard — Mary On A Cross
September 1969; Papa Nihil and the beginning of the Ghost Project take to the stage at the Whiskey a Go Go club in Los Angeles, under the watchful eye of Sister Imperator. Fifty-three years later, in Tampa, Florida, Papa Emeritus the Fourth performs Mary On A Cross, unaware that he is singing the story of his parents—and that of himself.
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thekittyokat · 7 months ago
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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blackhholes · 4 months ago
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teen wolf meme: [3/5] motifs -> resurrection
It's different now. I think dying did something to him. It did something to me, too. But none of it was good.
#teen wolf#lydia martin#kate argent#tracy stewart#scott mccall#peter hale#jackson whittemore#derek hale#hayden romero#twedit#twgifs#mine#my gifs#twmeme#yes i'm aware that it can definitely be argued whether resurrection is a motif in teen wolf or just a recurring plot device#and while it's certainly not a symbolic motif like fire and water was previously#the way it's utilized within the show does make me read it moreso as a motif than just plot#like water it's used to communicate an internal change but the ways it differs from water is that it usually occurs at the end of a#narrative arc whereas water typically appears at the beginnings#water is used to signify a character's beginning descent into something new and the resurrection is once that change is completed#jackson's arc in season two is started with his submersion in water and it's ended with his resurrection#and lydia's arc in eichen house in 5b is much the same with her in the river in her mind at the beginning and then her dying and coming bac#at the animal clinic#even lydia's arc in season two can be read within these parameters#it begins with her in the hospital shower as she digs hair out of the water and ends when she resurrects peter#so while yes there is a reversal there and lydia isn't the subject of the resurrection she is the agent of it#which honestly the same can be said for theo in 5a#basically what i'm getting at here is that my reading of the resurrections in teen wolf as a motif is very valid and you should all agree#also i completely forgot about jackson's resurrection until i was literally writing these tags so i had to go back and make a gif for that
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trans-xianxian · 2 years ago
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sickosdotjpg · 6 months ago
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thinking very intently about a stern, severe, imposing sort of character, the type who despises being seen as showing weakness, who stifles their sneezes as quietly as possible when they're around other people. they sneeze so forcefully that it can't be contained or held back; the stifling is as much of a compromise as they can manage, though it gives them a terrible headache.
thinking about this uptight chronic stifler having one person with whom they feel comfortable enough to let out their sneezes around. it's an unconscious thing, not at all deliberate; the stifling in public is fully a reflex by now, as is the letting it out in private. they don't even realize! their One Person, on the other hand, is Very Aware. 👀👀👀
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codacheetah · 6 months ago
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The start of the Loop segment of the Siffrin & friends twitter QNA, and the message that flipped Loop's answers from silly to dodgy and blatantly upset.
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Loopchat from speaking to Loop 20+ times.
Certified Loop dysphoria post
#isat loop#isat spoilers#i was gonna make a whole semisilly post abt how i think the public perception of loop as 'cunty' is kind of funny#(has bought into it before)#but to be honest it just made me start thinking more abt how loop perceives themself.#loop telling siffrin not to die too early so they have more time to go :( at siffrin's drawing. or well i guess it'd be :#man.#it does....interest me#siffrin seems to not be particularly dysphoric in like a gender sense. expresses interest in body craft but thinks#(You dont mind inhabiting this meat prison for the time being.) as well so#but by becoming a star loop kind of. simultaneously loses the freedom to Change the way they want to. no guarantee bodycraft works on stars#and loses the comfort of inhabiting their own body#congrats on the new body loop! sorry about the dysphoria#for as much as it's fun to poke at loop for being very obvious once you Know#it does. resonate something with me i guess that of all things this is one of the few things that loop isn't very good at deflecting about.#(in the sense of cutting the conversation short before it becomes capital o Obvious they are upset anyways)#i'm aware they were already transgender before becoming a star. but very transgender of you loop#oh! i guess i can say on the topic of cunty loop#it's kind of funny. like im not immune to drawing Cute Loops or making them silly and dramatic and flirty#and i think the thread of Drama they show on top of their not-typically-masculine (ig???) demeanor and flirting with siffrin#makes the perception of them as like. there has to be a better word than cunty but. cunty. somewhat understandable#once more the loop has deceived you. i mean i do think the drama is a little bit real they are a hashtag theater kid#but they have deceived you. you have fallen into their spiderweb of believing they are anything other than the world's most miserable beast#with your help we can crowdfund enough silver coins to buy loop a dysphoria hoodie. if we hit our stretch goal it can have a print on it
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fictionadventurer · 1 month ago
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Why is this book about 1880s London Jews so relatable to the 2020s American Roman Catholic experience?
In Amy Levy's Reuben Sachs, you've got:
The community that is at once fully part of the modern world while having an insular nature (and the amount of modern vs. insular varies based on the person and family)
The people who ignore their religion 99% of the year, but wouldn't even consider skipping services on the important holidays
The ultra-traditionalists who go so intense on holding to traditions that a lot of other members of their religion side-eye them
The kids who go to services only because their parents force them to, or who rebel and refuse to go because they don't see the point or don't believe in God
The new convert who is more zealous than, like, 90% of the people who were born into this religion
A family with its very specific blend of religious opinions and inside jokes that's fully aware that they're baffling to outsiders
This book was apparently meant to be a realistic portrait of Jewish life (in response to Daniel Deronda and its (according to Levy) highly unrealistic and over-idealized portrayal of Jews), and my goodness, did she succeed in capturing what it's like to live in a culturally religious community in a rapidly secularizing world.
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technically-human · 2 months ago
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There are currently 6 requests left on my inbox, and it might take me a while to do them all, but don't worry, I've received them 💕
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batsplat · 5 months ago
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Oh im obses whit your blog like you are such a great historian on vale and love the way you analys stuff admire the way of writing all of your toughs in such a corent way 🩷🩷🐹
this is so nice, thank you!! okay so this ask was initially sent in response to this post about how marc knew what a dick valentino was to his rivals and appreciated/wished to emulate that side of him, in particular in the context of copying the jerez pass. and... well, there is one more follow-up post to that I did want to make. it didn't really work within that post because it's pretty speculative, but I think it's fun! here goes
so you know argentina 2018, right, big drama, reconciliation over, bla bla (I promise this is going in a more fun direction, stick with me here). there's a bit of marc's post-race media scrum that I am a wee bit obsessed with. or well, two specific lines, one in english (0:00) and one in spanish (1:02) - I've included the full responses for context, but in this post I'm really only interested in those two lines
in english:
But he was in the past also 25 years old, and will remember, everybody.
and in spanish:
He has also been 25 years old and, well, I hope that people also remember.
... 25 years old, did you say?
okay, look, fair warning. the rest of this post is going to be reading too much into what was probably an off-handed comment - even if, I'd just like to point out, it is something he felt the need to say twice. but let's just have some fun here, and read too much into it. as a treat
so obviously the most generic way to read this is him saying 'well valentino used to be really aggressive on-track too, so people shouldn't be criticising me more than they did him'. thing is, I wouldn't say there was that much of a noticeable decline in how aggressive valentino was being, and 2017 did still feature some major scraps where valentino very much got his elbows out (cf assen and phillip island, I included a bit more detail on this in the marc race rec post). sure, valentino did increasingly have his reservations about some of the behaviour of younger riders, so maybe he was less aggressive now relative to the field... but I just don't feel like that's quite what this line is implying. it's also not about valentino making 'mistakes' in general, because there would have been no reason to refer back to past-valentino in that regard... the 25 year old version of valentino was considerably more error-free than the 39 year old
so then, my theory is that it's about valentino's controversies! that's what people "will remember", right - it's not the general style of riding, not just innocent mistakes, it's the times when valentino caused a bit of a stir on and off the race track. now, again, you could go the generic route here and say 'ah well maybe marc is just thinking of all the mess valentino got himself involved in when he was younger, from getting into a fist fight with max biaggi at age 22 to pissing off casey stoner through his aggressive riding at laguna at age 29'. but let's say for a moment that marc was thinking a bit more specifically than that... after all, if we're just talking about valentino controversies in general, surely marc should be able to think of a rather more recent example where valentino, like marc at argentina 2018, caused another rider to crash and was subsequently penalised for his riding? of course, marc probably didn't want to bring up that particular controversy - but it's still interesting he feels the need to refer back to a younger version of valentino at all, the fact that this crossed his mind in the first place to make him bring it up unprompted while making his case. so maybe when marc, who is after all a known valentino rossi fan, refers twice to what valentino was like at "25 years old"... he is in fact thinking of what valentino was like when he was 25 years old. and in what year would that be? well, here's the thing. it would be 2004
readers of the sete post can probably guess where I'm going with this, but let's just take a moment to review what specific on-track incidents marc could be thinking of here. let's give him a little bit of extra leeway in terms of the age, even though I trust marc to be more on top of the exact age gap than valentino was in times past. let's throw in one year either way, so 2003 to 2005, and draw up a list of any particularly controversial races valentino was involved in. here's what I've got:
assen 2004 - valentino executed a hard overtake for the win on the last lap on sete gibernau. he's not in complete control and almost loses the front at the next corner, which would have taken them both out
qatar 2004 - after his team rubber up his grid slot the night before, valentino gets slapped with a back-of-the-grid penalty. he ends up crashing out of the race and burns his relationship with sete in the aftermath
jerez 2005 - at a time when their relationship is already very chilly, valentino and sete engage in another duel. valentino executes a block pass with contact at the final corner and is booed by the crowd
motegi 2005 - the first chance to seal that year's title, and one valentino would very much have liked to take to spite honda. an unwise overtaking attempt on melandri leaves both on the ground
so, my guess is that neither assen nor motegi were really big enough controversies to fit the bill, though maybe they stuck in marc's mind as instances of 'reckless riding' that he includes in a more generic internal understanding of young valentino rossi. we do of course know for a fact that marc was more than aware of what happened at jerez 2005, not least because he, you know, directly copied that move twelve years later (again, link to the relevant post). like marc in argentina 2018, valentino barged into a rival in rather controversial fashion, and obviously it also made the relationship between him and said rival deteriorate still further. sure, you can't really argue the move was 'as bad' as argentina 2018, but as far as I'm concerned it has the same general vibe
you know what else has the same general vibe? here's a race description for you:
a 25 year old rider is sent to the back of the grid for a reason they consider unfair
they proceed to deliver a phenomenal performance even by their lofty standards, quickly working their way up to a position that seemed unattainable to them
they barge a rival out of the way in their impatience, reaching back to apologise for the move
the race ends poorly for them and they fail to score any points
afterwards, their relationship with a rival is ruined as a result of the events of the race, and the whole thing remains a lingering controversy for years to come
one race that fits this description is, of course, argentina 2018. the other is qatar 2004. there's obviously plenty of details that are significantly different - valentino's move on barros is less egregious and far less controversial, and his race ends in the gravel rather than with a post-race time penalty. still, that start of valentino's? the impatience? the post-race fury? the repercussions this race had? come on, look at the race footage I included in the qatar post and tell me there's not a little bit of a shadow of that qatar fury to the argentina recklessness
this is a point I snuck into the marc race recs post, where I included this excerpt from a post-argentina 2018 write-up:
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phillip island 2003, hm? as it happens, in the qatar post, I did include a bit of the autobiography that compares those two specific races:
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so, phillip island 2003: a performance that made everyone wonder just how much valentino had left in reserve to draw on whenever he needed it. what valentino is saying here is that this performance wasn't a result of him holding back in all the other races that year - this was speed that was accessible to him only in that moment because he was so angry. so yes, maybe it's a valid question to wonder what would have happened at phillip island 2003 if it hadn't just been the ghost of his bike that had to pick its way through the stragglers. then again, valentino says it's not just rage that does the trick for him - it's controlled rage... which is all well and good, except when you lose control
and see also:
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that's what argentina 2018 is all about, isn't it? it's a performance that's rooted in impatience, in restlessness, in frustration - where marc tuns his "rage into pure speed", as valentino would put it, in a hubristic dismissal of the rest of the field. ideally, the two of them channel those emotions to spur themselves on to special, signature performances... but sometimes, it gets the better of them. it got the better of marc that day in argentina and cost him the tentative peace with valentino. at qatar, it could have cost valentino the title
(also shades of this in jerez 2020 - an error sets the stage for some extraordinary pace before it all goes wrong) (catalunya 2003 is a fun more compact nephew to that race without the unhappy ending)
now, look, am I saying that marc was really referring back to qatar 2004 specifically, a race that had happened fourteen years earlier, when making an off-hand remark in a post-race media scrum as he tried to do some damage control in the wake of one of the most controversial races of his career? well, no. he could have been! but it's unlikely. maybe he's shit at maths and was actually thinking about laguna 2008 after all. still, I would like to once again point out that he felt the need to mention valentino's behaviour at age twenty five not once but twice. he's telling us that he wants people to remember what valentino was like at that age, and in the most literal sense I am doing what he's asking for. surely it's worth at least noting that there just happens to be a race where valentino was at that exact age and his temper overcame his rationality, leading to him making a costly error... surely it's worth acknowledging this...
even if marc wasn't actually obliquely referring back to that race or indeed any of the races I mentioned above, of course the parallels between valentino's foibles and marc's are in any case interesting. it speaks to how they get those special performances out of themselves, the similarities in how they operate in that regard... but of course also in how they both sometimes stray rather close to the limit, how they repeatedly flirt with crossing the line. a stubbornness and a hubris and a rage that can sometimes lead to disaster for the both of them. and another thing - who knows if marc was thinking about qatar 2004, but he must have been thinking about something. that's the point of that jerez post, right... marc is valentino's successor in so many ways, he has fashioned himself in valentino's image - and he keenly grasps and remains aware of all the different aspects of that legacy. he's the most accomplished of valentino's students and he felt strongly that what he did in that race in argentina was in some way comparable to what valentino himself had been doing at his age, part of the same tradition even. yes, to some extent marc is obviously accusing valentino of hypocrisy here: how can you judge me when you were once young and foolish too? his tone isn't exactly filled with remorse either, is it, he's pretty feisty in that media scrum! still, there's something more to it... something almost poetic to the whole thing, wouldn't you say? valentino had just accused marc of ruining the sport - and in response marc wants people to remember that they are just the same
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lgbtlunaverse · 2 months ago
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Thinking of the Nie disciple that told Nie Mingjue it was Meng Yao who stayed behind to clean up corpses on the battlefield today.
Nie Mingjue didn't just randomly stumble upon poor lil meowyao eating bread in the novel, he was already looking for him to thank and reward him for his work.
That's what makes it so fun that nieyao's first conflict will end up being about someone else taking credit for Meng Yao's work.
And I'm sure that Nie Mingjue's actual opinions on plagiarism are a lot more nuanced, all we really get from him in this scene is "well you shouldn't kill someone over it!" which leaves a lot of room for what punishments he thinks are appropiate. But I bet that it isn't occuring to him in this moment that the only reason he knows Meng Yao at all, the only reason he got such a capable deputy, is that he noticed someone was taking care of the dead and cared enough to want to know their name. And then the Nie disciples didn't lie to him. The disciple he asked could have said "it was me, Zongzhu" to rise in the ranks himself, but he didn't. He went and asked others, who all also could have taken the credit, but they didn't. Someone saw Meng Yao working and decided to be honest about it and that simple decision is the catalyst for Meng Yao becoming Nie Mingjue's deputy.
Meng Yao can't just work hard to get results, others have to acknowledge that work. If they don't, it's as if he didn't do anything at all.
#i'm very proud of the phrase poor lil meowyao. i'm sure i'm not the first one to come up with it but i'm proud nonetheless.#mdzs#mdzs meta#nie mingjue#meng yao#anyway this isn't a nmj bashing post i think 'ok that's bad but don't do MURDER' is overall a pretty reasonable reaction#but the emotional disconnect is fun to ruminate on. I bet meng yao IS thinking about that moment while coming up with his fake-suicide plan#anyway i always laugh a litle whenever anyone wonder if meng yao looking a bit pitiful was all some master stategy to get nmj to like him#because like... no. no that would be a stupid plan and also involved way too many factors he couldn't control.#and also!! he was already doing something else to try and get nmj's attention. all of that fucking work!!#if you plan on getting nmj– guy famous for valuing merit and hard honest work– to like you what is more useful:#looking a bit like a sad little wet cat in case he comes across you? or. Working really hard and being more useful than everyone else?#ding ding ding it's the latter.#nmj is ALSO a bit weak for someone looking like a kitten left in the rain but that's not well-known at all and meng yao didn't know him yet#anyway the fact that that is his plan does mean he's very aware how much it hinges on other people not just lying and saying they did it.#i wonder what networking efforts lil heijan meng yao was doing. trying to make friends with all the other disciples.#walking the tightrope of being accomodating but not a doormat so people see you as someone to rely on rather than take advantage of.#as much as we know not everyone in the nie is as righteous as nmj it does seem like there is a culture of taking pride in your own work.#even the cultivators who bully him in the novel just seem think it's funny he's working so hard.#using someone else's actions to prop yourself up is kinda like admiting they're better than you. a wound to their pride if nothing else.
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