#It's just become my little 5pm ritual

[same-picture-of-benson-every-day]

I never cease to be impressed by your commitment to the bit

The bit became habit long, long ago

[syntia13treeman]

Case files 10.01

what I think happened in:

Case 10.01, the case of "Cursed Pygmalion" or "How I stopped worrying and started fearing for my life instead"

In 1994 Channel Six hired Niger Dickerson to host night variety show, nicknamed "Nigel’s SOS," (short for "Nigel Dickerson presents Saturdays on Six,"), where Nigel was 'held prisoner' by mysterious off-screen "Mr. Six", and played pranks on his guests. The prank always concluded with the guests being informed that they "got berried" and receiving a raspberry trophy.

In 1996, as part of the prank, a character of Mr. Bonzo was created (Nigel designed the look, nobody can really remember who came up with that name*)

The first guest confronted with Mr. Bonzo, chef Gordon Ramsey Gotard Rimbaeu was so freaked out, he broke the actors arm with a frying pan (allegedly**).

After that the actors (allegedly**) wearing Bonzo's suit would change frequently. Playing the role has become sort of rite of passage for the newbies on set.

Bonzo's role also changed overtime. From a jumpscare he went to become the show's mascot, to eventually replace Mr. Six as Nigel's 'jailer'. He was a hit with target audience, the merch was selling, they even started building a themepark… and then everything changed, when Terrance Menki attacked got caught.

Who is Terrance Menki? Apparently a serial killer, whose gimmick was killing in cosplay, presumably different one each time, as he had a whole wardrobe of costumes. Just bad luck that when he got caught with his 11th victim, he was wearing a knock-off Bonzo suit. (It wasn't even a good knock-off, all the colours were backwards!)

Alas, the press immediately dubbed him the "Bonzo Butcher", the public ate it up, and Mr. Bonzo's public image was ruined. Shortly afterwards, on 3rd March 2000 the Bonzoland was closed (ARG exclusive information), "Nigel's SOS" was cancelled, and Nigel was left to deal with hate-mail and death threats, despite having nothing to do with the whole mess (allegedly).

That would be the end of the story, except… between 2016 and 2021 there were at least 3 murders where Mr. Bonzo was (allegedly) seen at the scene.

When asked about in an interview conducted by Geraldine in August 2021, Nigel Dickerson categoricity denied it refused to comment on any potential Bonzo involvement in any crime.

Considering that he'd been living in Mr. Bonzo's house for the past [number unknown] years, his claims of ignorance and innocence fall rather flat.

The most recent Bonzo sighting was not reported on Saturday night, 09th of March 2024, when Gwendolym Bouchard, acting on behalf of OIAR, handed over an envelope containing (reportedly***) a name and address. Mr. Bonzo graciously accepted and chewed said envelope in his NOT SOFT teeth and lumbered into the night.

More news next Thursday at 5pm. For now let's speculate a bit:

*If Nigel didn't come up with Bonzo's name, and his producer Rich didn't come up with the name… then who did? I won't say it's impossible that it was just some random intern that Nigel couldn't be bothered to remember, but… Names are important. Names have power. Maybe something was trying to manifest itself, and started with giving itself a name?

**Where there ever actually any actors inside Bonzo suit? There are a few possibilities: a) it's been all Bonzo all along – it would go well with Bonzo naming himself, but otherwise I think it's unlikely. It's possible that: b) there only ever was one, very unlucky actor. When the Britain's snootiest chef attacked him with a pan, he did more than just break the poor man's arm. The actor died in the costume, and stayed in the costume, and just… kept going in the costume. This is macabre enough origin story to be plausible, but I'm gonna say nah. I think that: c) SOS really had their little ritual, where a stream of very tired, minimal wage studio workers had to run around in the suit until the next loser was hired. This is too easily verifiable for Nigel to lie about. I bet there were little 'behind the scenes' documentaries during the show's golden era, where Jack the stagehand and Joe the janitor bitched in polite British about how much of a pain in the neck it was.

So at what point did the actors become unnecessary? When and how was current day Mr. Bonzo born? I think it was a process that started with the name, but ended shortly after his show was cancelled. Over the years of popularity, as more and more people thought of Bonzo as a character (or a person) more than a funny suit, Bonzo was becoming less and less of just a funny suit. When the costume no longer had actors to animate it, it decided to animate itself. And because at that time the Bonzo-mania turned to Bonzo-hate, instead of chaotic but largely harmless creature he could have been, he became… well. Something that a shady government organization apparently uses as a hitman.

And here I need to ask an important question: What the fuck was up with that? Joking. (Though I wish to know how do you even discover you can do that). (***and did the envelope really contain name and address? Did Gwen check? Does she remember the name?)

The question is: who is the unlucky person, about to receive a lethal blast of the 90s nostalgia? Will we ever even know? (Will we know tomorrow, 11.04.2024, when Celia clicks on the newest case and hears an emergency call from someone fleeing for their life from a 'guy in a weird costume?')

Other question: how long has Nigel been held hostage in his own house (sorry – Bonzo's house) and just how sorry should I feel for him? He seemed pretty unconcerned about the actor with broken arm, and about Bonzo running off into the night to do murder, but I imagine that living in constant shadow of Mr Bonzo is pretty stressful and doesn't leave much room for empathy, so… I don't know. I'm gonna wait and see.

[maximuswolf]

I quit coffee for 3 months (cold turkey) and this is what happened...

I quit coffee for 3 months (cold turkey) and this is what happened... First off, it's important to note that I drank a lot of coffee. From 8am to 5pm, every single day of the week, I was consuming strong (large moka pot-made) coffees. I knew it was becoming a bit too much when I was making a coffee to take with me to the supermarket, DIY store or on a forest walk with my family. Look through our family photo collection and you will see me holding a coffee in most photos – no matter the location.So I decided one day to go cold turkey just to test myself. The main catalyst was feeling like I looked liked shit all the time (might have been the caffeine, might have been the fact I have 2 kids and am nearing 40). Either way, I felt fine physically (but I was also aware that all I knew was the coffee-filled me). I wanted to know if the caffeine free me was any different.After reading countless blogs I was prepared for feeling like shit, cold sweats, headaches etc. Long story short: it was not that bad at all.Week 1: Super easy. I took up herbal tea drinking (and drank as much of that as I did coffee). No caffeine as it's basically just water. The biggest difference that hit me immediately was I began having super vivid (and different) dreams. They were more like movies than the usual random strange visuals I was used to. They had story lines and locations were new. The kind of dreams that you talk about and make you look forward to going to sleep. I was also super hungry in the first week (as coffee suppresses hunger).Week 2: the worst week of all. Same as week 1 but I could not focus for shit. I couldn't read a sentence in an email without becoming distracted.I noticed my skin felt a lot more hydrated all the time (if before I would wake up feeling like I had a raisin for a face – now I had a grape :). My hunger died down but the dreaming continued as did the tea drinking.From week 3 onwards it all became kind of the same. I was drinking lots of tea, feeling hydrated and dreaming deeply. I was going to the gym, which was not unusual – but whereas before I would go regularly for a week or two and then fall of the wagon, since quitting coffee I have been going nearly every day, enjoying it and wanting to go more. I cannot say this is directly because of the zero coffee policy but it is likely (they do say you get more energy when you quit).Some points to note:Across the full three months I never craved coffee at all. But in the final month I did miss it – and by that, I mean: tea is boring. It is not like I wake up in the morning and think "oooh, cannot wait for a big cup of hot water". With coffee, there is a ritual to it and cosiness it brings. The flavour etc – all of that. I missed that and did not get it with tea.I never felt ill or shitty as many blogs suggested. I also never began "pooping like a king" as I had heard would happen. My bowl routines/movements changed but not in a major way.I think I still look the same but I feel there is a little more colour (blood flow) in my face. Submitted January 16, 2023 at 01:30AM by Entire_Profession634 https://ift.tt/H0Tr7QW via /r/Coffee

[fearfearer]

more thoughts about the magnus archives as i reread the transcripts

i was thinking about how gertrude robinson was really an extraordinary person (not extraordinarily Morally Sound, but extraordinary) just because of who she was, whereas the only extraordinary things about jonathan sims are things that have been arranged for him (i.e. his role). i don't mean this as a diss for jonathan, as i'm not extraordinary either. it's just striking that gertrude was so driven and confident compared to jon. of course, now we know that basically everything she did was in the pursuit of a moot goal (i.e. killing people in order to stop rituals that were already doomed to fail) so maybe my point is somewhat moot as well.

i've been doing some rereading of episodes on my phone (i.e. away from this text document on my computer) and i'll have a realization like "right, i should note that down when i get back to my computer" and i have forgotten all of them now that i am back at my computer. suffice it to say there are quite a few things i misheard/misunderstood on the first listen, unsurprisingly.

reading through the first 20 or so episodes i'm surprised by how well i remember each of them, considering i was listening like 4 episodes a day when i started. then again, it was only a month or two ago that i even listened to them, so one should hope my memory is at least this good. anyway the first episode i'm re-listening instead of rereading is 22 bc that's the first one where we hear martin's voice, i'm pretty sure

i've also noticed some errors in the official transcripts, which aren't a big deal because obviously what matters most is the audio, but still... some of them have been simple typos. magnus archives hire me as your official transcriptionist and i'll make all your transcripts 100% error-free bc im smatr

(reading through the rest of the transcripts and my standards went way down in terms of grammar/stylistic consistency, as most of the later ones are fan transcripts by several different people. i found quite a few mistakes, but obviously i have no particular way to help fix them short of sending an email to the tma transcripts fansite person like “hey there’s all these mistakes. upload my good version instead?” bc i’m not that much of a dick)

the whole reason martin went to the spider guy's building was because he didn't want jon to be disappointed in him for not doing Due Diligence. he says so twice. then he went back for the same reason. it seems the fandom joke is "jon asks his assistants to do crimes for him" but in this case martin is like "oh no maybe i didn't do enough crimes to satisfy jon"

jon was doing his archivist voice HEAVILY in season 1, huh?

tim's first appearance is so jovial compared to how he ends up...

if this boat lady is speaking spanish in brazil, then it doesn't matter if it was "bad spanish" or not. anyway now i understand why we already knew peter lukas was serving the lonely by the time jon mentioned offhand that peter lukas was serving the lonely. it was my whole “let’s not bother noting down any FREQUENTLY RECURRING names”

well i guess robert smirke was a real person. should i feel dumb about this? idk. it’s such a fictional-sounding name, to be fair. but i guess that set the precedent of using a real person as an important historical figure in the fiction that we see happening again when edmund halley is referenced later on. also episode 35 has foreshadowing for the separation of 14 powers, and people thought it was 13 because they mention 13 halls PLUS the one they came through.

totally forgot about tim goofing around in episode 39... he was really not having the worst time at this job before bad things started happening and he realized he was trapped, huh

the worms were trying to make a doorway into the Worm Wealm

ep 40 jon's like "I need to hear it. I need to record it. Or else I can't finish." (lightly abridged)

listening to the season 1 Q&A for the first time and EARL BIGMAC

also good to know there's only going to be 5 seasons. very good to know. this seems like a good kind of series to write with a fixed endpoint in mind, as it's very easy to do an episode that has effectively no bearing on the MetaPlot but which is still a short story in itself and therefore doesn't count as "filler"

jonathan sims performs with a mythical space pirate music cabaret. so he IS a ham

jonny says, "no rude words. i could say bums, maybe..." (alexander j newall does a laugh while i do the exact same laugh irl) "...but i won't."

some dumbass writing into the Q&A to ask if the background music is diegetic... get a podcast brain, ya fool. though for my part, i have to say that one of the most striking things about this podcast when i first started listening (though i never made a note of it before) was the Too Spooky Music, and i didn't like it at all. the reason was that i am, and have been, vulnerable to Getting Spooked about irrational things at night, such that it becomes really hard to fall asleep... and one of the things that has an outsize effect on my level of Spookédness is spooky audio. so if i was watching a video at night and i was worried it would Get Me Spooked, i would just turn the sound off, and it would turn out fine. but obviously you can't turn the sound off on a podcast. and i've been listening to podcasts after work, i.e. after 5pm, and i go to bed at like 8 or 9pm because i'm old. so the way it turned out was that even if the actual subject of the podcast wasn't that scary to me, the music would amplify it in an unpleasant way and make me more likely to have trouble sleeping. also i think most of the episodes would have been fine without the music, or maybe with some less intentionally-disconcerting background music.

this just in: i seem to have totally missed episode 50 on my first listen-through, despite having gone in linear order. bc i'm listening to it now and i've definitely never heard this before. fortunately it doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on the rest of the series, so it's not like i missed any crucial information. tbh the only worthwhile bit was a brief moment of tim being a ham, which was good. i hope i didn't miss any other episodes the first time... still don't know how i managed to miss this one.

the official transcript said [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] ...

so gertrude and leitner WERE played by jonny's parents <:3c i'd thought as much when i saw the cast names but i like that it's confirmed. his mom is a really good actress too. i always find the gertrude episodes to be striking in a certain way

"it's Fine working with your parents. it's Fine." as someone who worked with my mom for like a year i can confirm this

i'm tickled to find that the official transcripts have a sense of humor. i wonder who is behind them. i also wonder, what is the excuse for not having a full set of official transcripts when it is a script-based show? surely you know what is going to be said beforehand, and you have it written down, and if someone ends up saying something different in the final recording, surely it wouldn’t be too hard to give the original script a little edit, and bam! that’s a transcript. i wonder if this approach is not feasible for some reason.

whenever martin reads statements, he says something about jon... whenever he talks to someone, he says something about jon

i think episode 110 is an instance of the tape recorder turning ITSELF off... at the end of the episode. because they walk away, and they say something distantly, and then it turns off. lots of other times, there had to be a diegetic reason for the tape recorder to turn off at the end.

i noticed something which i missed last time, which was that there is a rumor between melanie and georgie and basira that implies that jonathan is asexual. worth noting, i think. [side note added in later: yeah it’s canon. cool]

also i listened to episode 103 again and yes. i had thought-- i had been SURE-- that the person interrogating the traffic cop (using the asky ability) was martin. but it was actually jon. how did i possibly manage that mistake? i'm not great at distinguishing voices, but i'm not THAT bad. the only possible answer: when i was listening to the episode for the first time... i must have been eating a crunchy snack.

"it doesn't have to make sense! alex has to make it sense." (jonny sims re: writing the spiral)

glad to know that jonny sims regrets using his own name for the protagonist. doesn't make a difference either way at this point but yeah

YES i knew episode 100 was improvised. and i see, all the statementers had actually had supernatural experiences, but because the archivist was absent, their statements didn't have the coherence and clarity normally lent to them by the eye (in exchange for becoming cursed). i think melanie or basira actually said pretty much that in the episode itself, but i still couldn't be sure that all of those people had something real to talk about.

"in the same way that tim is dead, michael is helen." good shit

the archivist is canon a bit of a drama queen. the first bullet point in my first tma notes document is vindicated

jonny sims mentions another podcast (apocrypals) that sounds 100% up my alley, so that is appreciated, i will add that to my list i think. (listened to episodes 0 and 1 of apocrypals and i'm heavily struck by how VERY clearly i can hear the smiles in chris sims's voice. i did not know smiling could be so audible, truly.) (listened to quite a few more episodes of apocrypals and it’s certainly entertaining at times. i should’ve been reading along though. maybe some other time)

I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SEASON 4 TEASER THE FIRST TIME AROUND.........................................

i must confess something that people who know me well may already know: i hate when stories have a bad ending. an unhappy ending. a painful ending. a hopeless ending. bittersweet is the furthest in that direction i can tolerate. my perspective, which is pretty deep-seated, is that there's no point in getting to know and love characters if you're only going to be hurt by that connection to them when the end turns out to be bad. if i have even a mild inkling that a story is heading toward a bad ending, i make a conscious effort to regard all characters from afar and not develop any strong attachments. this is not so much "how i think all stories need to be," but rather, "the characteristics a story needs to have to appeal to me personally." so i understand that my view is very subjective and mostly based on my own mental weakness. but i can't help but apply it to the media i consume. and the idea that someone would do something like "make characters very human and strongly developed" IN COMBINATION WITH "heading toward a bad end" makes me upset. like, picture a horror movie. think about the characters in a horror movie. with the exception of a main character, if there is one, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to survive to the end of the film... BUT... the characters generally aren't fleshed out and very sympathetic. i wouldn't go so far as to say they're disposable, but you're not SUPPOSED to cry when they die; you're just supposed to get scared. their purpose is as objects of fear, and you never expect or even hope for a happy ending. but in the magnus archives... all i'm saying... is that i would cry if any of the remaining members of the main cast died. and it seems clear that we're not heading to a happy ending. so i'm somewhat afraid, and not in a good way. i don't know how much i can trust jonny sims to give me the story i want, and obviously, i'm not entitled to it.

if your name is jonathan and you want to shorten it, the short form is jon. it ain't john, no matter what the official transcripts say. where'd you get that h, huh? stole it from someone else's name? are you shortening it like JOnatHaN? you can’t just be that sneaky!

i listened to scrutiny again and it hits so hard. now, in heart of darkness, when manuela begs jon not to force her statement, it's really heavy given the direct context of the previous two episodes where we see how compulsion works and how it hurts.

also when jon was talking about how to destroy the dark sun and he was like "i just need to see it," when i first heard it, i assumed he meant something along the lines of, "by seeing it, i will learn how to destroy it." but now i understand that the mere act of the eye seeing it destroys it, because being known is what the darkness is weakest to.

the magnus employees who work in the library probably at least have a LITTLE BIT of a feeling that they work in an almost normal place, given that jon and all his assistants were able to have that impression before transferring to the archives. so i wonder how the magnus library people feel about their institute's director getting arrested for double murder and now the big boss is a completely unrelated ship captain who seems to want nothing to do with the place but simultaneously is trying to continue business as usual

on second listen, listening to jon ask helen when the guilt stops (wrt hurting people in order to feed one's patron fear) is pretty chilling. because it seems like he's definitely accepting that he will have to hurt people, and what he's concerned about is how bad it makes HIM feel. of course, helen then answers with precisely what i just wrote, so...

i should've read the transcript for episode 159 instead of relistening because i forgot that peter lukas's actor got so gravelly and hard to listen to in this one. anyway, time to re-listen to the season 4 finale... then i'll listen to the season 4 Q&As and stuff... and then the new episode. (DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI)

i heard in the Q&A that the voice of peter lukas did multiple takes for episode 159?! but it was because of technical difficulties. right. because i can’t imagine the way it turned out being deemed the best take. sorry

ok, things i missed last time i listened to 160: daisy and the other two hunters are missing. also jon mentioned "magnus's body" and martin mentioned "an old man's corpse" and at the time i took this to mean (somewhat unthinkingly) that when jon and martin returned from the lonely, they killed elias/jonah's body. which would be a weird thing to happen "off-camera," so to speak. so i think i must have been wrong? slightly confused. ok, no, i'm now sure that elias survived, so i must have misunderstood. definitely alive.

as martin leaves and jon is about to begin the statement, he sounds so peaceful and satisfied. that's good acting.

by the way, in one of the previous few episodes, i noticed that jonah seems to have body-swapped by switching out his eyes into his preferred body, which i'm pretty sure i missed the first time.

i like that jonny sims checks reddit to see whether people have solved the mystery. that's just a really funny way to do things, sneaking a peek like "hmm how mysterious is my mystery? let's see who has figured it out..." and for the record, i wasn't even close to figuring it out. but to be fair to myself, i didn't try. like i said from the beginning, i started listening with the intent of going along for the ride. plus the mystery had already been solved before i started listening to the series, so it's not like i had a lot of time in between updates to contemplate whether elias was jonah, etc.

JON'S AMERICAN ACCENT FOR THE IONIZED YEAST AD

ALEX WAS THE VOICE OF JARED HOPWORTH?! i mean it was so messed up it could have been anybody but god

ALEX DIDN'T LET GERTUDE CACKLE

i've listened to the bloopers (including a gertrude cackle?) and the season 5 trailer (martin seems slightly cavalier about the end of the world but maybe he's just trying to keep his shit together for jon) and i'm going to listen to the new episode Soon.

final conclusion on rereads/relistens: i had pretty poor comprehension of some important happenings. i’m realizing just how easy it is to mishear/fail to hear exactly what is happening in a podcast when you’re doing other stuff at the same time. there are still a couple things i don’t quite understand, but i think i’ll have a look around the wiki one of these days.

[weissfai-blog1]

Best Wishes to You.

Ae Pete Childhood Friend AU I just realized, why does all my fics contain scary, torment and full of heartache plots? I wanna see the darkness inside me? Hmmm.  

Ae and Pete grew up together. Both of their mothers are friends from high school, though the difference was that Ae’s mother is not from a rich family, while Putch came from a very well known family. But that doesn’t stop the friendship of the two that extends towards their sons Ae and Pete. 

The mansion of Putch is just right beside the 4 storey building house of her friend. 

When both mother’s got pregnant, they tease each other that their two babies should be married so that they can be a real family. 

Ae was born months earlier than Pete.  

Ae become the protector of the shy, clumsy and often teased Pete, cause Ae doesn’t like it when Pete cried. When they were kids, he once fought with Pete that end up into the later crying – his chubby cheeks so red and his eyes are shimmering with tears – he felt his heart break and vow that he will never let Pete cry again even if he finds a crying Pete super cute. 

Whoever makes Pete cry will answer to Ae’s fist and kick. No mercy whether it be a girl or a boy. That continued till their high school. 

Ai Koon Chai is the word of endearment of Ae to Pete that started when both of them are only 7 years old. 

Pete seems so delicate and unlike him who often has bruises here and there. 

Ae’s mother will often knock his head when he forces Pete to play outside and making the young master dirty all over his white shirt. Pete will then cry and tell his mother, ‘Please MaeMae don’t hurt my Ae. Don’t hurt his head, he might turn into an idiot.’ When Ae heard that, it was his turn to knock Pete’s head, Pete will massage his head while Ae was getting his 3rd knock from his Mother for hitting Pete. 

Putch will only laugh when Pete will arrive dirty with mud and grass on his clothes. Par Jiew will laugh along and fix the young master before the master of the house arrives. 

When Pete at the age of 9 was inside the mansion learning English and other complicated stuff, Ae was outside playing football with his friends, getting yelled at by his mother, getting into fights with other kids, racing his bicycle with the other kids. But he never forgets to come back exactly 5pm caused that means Pete can play with him.

Pete will cry when he will see Ae with a bruise or a scratch and sometimes blood on his knees and elbows, Pete have perfected the art of taking care of Ae in that department. There’s always a first aid kit inside his room or bandage, gauze and ointment inside his bag.

Ae hates Pete’s dad for breaking Pete & Mae Putch heart when he abandons them. From then on Ae swore that Pete will never feel abandon nor will he ever feel that he is not needed.

Ae often spend the night at Pete’s room and this is their usual ritual:

Ae and Pete will talk about anyone in their school

Pete will laugh non-stop because Ae apparently gain a nosy friend in the form of Pond who Pete thinks is so funny (though Ae will never let Pond near Pete cause he knew how perverted that jackass was – their first meeting was him saving Pond from their teacher when the later drops his porn mag)

Pete will read while Ae will watch the latest football match on Pete’s large TV

Pete will beg Ae to help him with his math problems

Ae will be so prideful to let Pete help him with his English but a puppy pouting Pete will have his way and teach him anyway

Pete and him will play video games and when Ae sees that Pete was about to cry for his lost for the nth time, he will lose on purpose to put a smile on Pete’s face

They will sleep together holding hands

Pete slowly grew taller than Ae and become such a fine Koon Chai. Ae doesn’t know or get why he felt a sudden shortness of breathe or that he is having a weird heart palpitation whenever Pete is near.

He knew Pete to be cute and pretty, much prettier than any girl he knew. Not even their prettiest girl in school can compete with Pete’s look. But he was amazed when Pete hit that stage of puberty. He looks so much delicate than before, milk skin that seems to bruise with a slight touch. Brownish hair that’s so soft. Long eyelashes that covers those sweet looking doe eyes. And what made him question himself more are those pink lips. Why does he feel the urge to just – well – just cover it with his own lips?

Some of their friends teases Ae that Pete is now much taller than him but Ae only grins and show them his fist with words: ‘Yeah he is tall. But I can still beat the crap out on all of you.’

Ae and Pete are still together but not the same as before where they are joined by the hips. Ae focuses more on his football club and Pete focuses more on his studies to help his mother.

It was their last year in high school and both decided to attend the same university, though Pete going to International College while Ae will go to Engineering (Civil Engineering Degree) as he is more familiar with STEM than any other.

Pete went to Ae’s classroom to ask him if they will return home together when he opens the door a girl was confessing to Ae.

‘I’m sorry!’ Pete shouted  and close the door with a bang. ‘Ai Pete!’ Ae shouted to the running Pete. Ae was not able to run after Pete as the girl grabs him and asked again, ‘Please go out with me!’

Ae did answer and the girl cries.

Ae runs and he was told by Par Jiew that Pete went to the hotel with his mother.

It took 2 weeks before Ae and Pete saw each other again and Ae was confused as to why Pete’s face is smiling yet his eyes is so sad.

He felt hurt and wanted to know why. He doesn’t like that Pete is keeping something from him.

Pete only shook his head and told him, ‘You’re imagining things Ae. I’m okay. I must be just tired cause I took internship with my Mom.’

‘Are you going to work over the weekends?’

‘Yes Ae. And also the whole summer. We both passed the entrance exam so now I’ll help Mae and learn more about the hotel.’

Ae nodded and looks at Pete. Pete is saying something that’s slowly breaking his heart. He wont be able to see Pete and spend time with him.

‘How about you Ae? How are you and your girlfriend?’

‘MY WHAT?!’

‘Eh. But Ai Pond and the others, even Ai Sun and Ai Dear are teasing you about her right? I heard that she keeps on following you and even manage to be the manager of the football club. She’s so dedicated to you na.’

‘Pete. She is not my girlfriend and will never be.’

‘Why Ae? She looks cute.’

Ae looks at Pete. ‘Do you really want me to have a girlfriend?’

Pete smiles and says, ‘Yes. So that maybe you wont be so grouchy like a beast.’

Ae looks at Pete and laughs and ruffle his hair. Ae then suddenly hugs Pete and put his chin on Pete’s head. ‘I miss you Pete. If you have time to visit me, visit me please. Its so lonely without you by my side.’

Pete wanted to caress the arms that holds him but restrain himself.

He just nodded and smiles sadly.

They are now in college and Ae joins the football club there. Pete on the other hand is bombarded with activities and events for the InterCollege.

He was surprised to see Tin there.

Tin and him are mutual friends through their parent’s social status. Tin told him that he came back from England and is now studying the same course as Pete.

Both are friends in a unconventional way, as Tin considers Pete as his only friend and he will often said to Pete, ‘You are so privileged to have me as you friend.’ In which Pete will only laugh.

Nobody knows this but Tin may be cold and super rude to others, but he has a kind heart. He just doesn’t trust anyone especially when they get to know his family name.

Tin was taught by his idiot elder brother about life early on. Not to trust easily and not to give your heart just to anyone.

Pete is happy that Tin is here now, though he have forgotten to introduce Tin to Ae.

Ae and him still eats breakfast together but something happen after their 2 months in college.

Ae got himself a girlfriend. Pond, Dear, Sun, Oat, Ping and Bow are all surprised with the news and all look at Pete who was smiling and cheering his special friend. ‘Congratulations! What’s her name again?’

‘Yihwa. She’s a nurse student.’ Ae said with a forced smile on his face.

The whole gang asked so many questions and teases Ae so much but it was Pond and Sun who back away a little and side by side went to Pete.

‘Pete… are you okay?’ Pond asked, sure he is nosy and an asshole to some, but he cares so much about Pete too. Pete is the most gentle creature he had ever met and he knew about Pete’s feelings.

Sun who was said to be a flirt and often jokes himself being the guy for Pete was worried. ‘Ai Pete, do you want me to do kick Ai Shorty? Just tell me?’

Pete shook his head with a smile while looking at Ae who was busy laughing and getting angry with questions from their other friends. ‘He is happy. That’s all that matters.’

Sun and Pond looks at Pete and both nodded with mutual understanding.

If Pete doesn’t want to tell Ae his feelings, then they will respect that. But should Pete ask for their help, they will give it 120% for they care and love this little Prince.

Because Ae has a girlfriend, the text messages he sent Pete every morning is being rejected:

Ae. Eat with your girlfriend. She won’t forgive you if you didn’t invite her.

I’m sorry Ae. I’m busy. (⋟﹏⋞)

I’m sorry Ae, I’m with P’Money, we have to attend an event for reference. ＿ﾉ乙(､ﾝ､)＿

Ae, I’m sorry. I’m with Tin this morning. We need to finish our reports. (T_T)

I’m sorry Ae about dinner. Tin and I are still at uni. We have a presentation tomorrow at 8am.  (つ﹏⊂)

Ae, I’m sorry I missed your call. I cannot go with you to dinner. I have to finish some essays with Tin. (༎ຶ⌑༎ຶ)

I’m so sorry Ae, please tell Yihwa sorry too. I know its her birthday, but I just cant go out. We have three proposal report due tomorrow. (ಥ﹏ಥ) Tin and I haven’t finish the second part. Sorry again na. I have given Pond my gift to Yihwa. Please check! I told Ai Pond not to drop it, that’s a perfume.

Ae. Please tell Yihwa that I cannot go with her. I’m so sorry again. I have to go with Tin. Our professor just tasked us to interview his dad! Can you believe? Of all people, we are to interview his dad! ⊂（゜Д゜⊂

Hello Ae. I’m so sorry. I know its your 100th and Pond told me about it. I gave Pond our gift to you guys. Enjoy!

Ae have been staring at his phone. He had been reading all the messages of him and Pete.

For the last 3-4 moths the only time he saw Pete was when he was passing by the Engineering Department to talk to a professor. He was about to go to him when the professor of their class enters and he have no choice but to go inside the room.

He was with the Tin guy he presumes. Tall, white, arrogant face.

What he understands on the last message was: “I gave Pond our gift to you guys.” >> OUR GIFT. WHO THE FUCK IS ‘OUR’?!

He read again the message and compose a new one:

AE: Hello Ai Koon Chai. Are you still busy? Yihwa and I are going out tomorrow and she told me to invite you.

Koon Chai: Then can I bring a someone?

AE: Who?

Koon Chai: Tin.

Ae reads it again and he didn’t notice how hard he was gripping his phone.

AE: I don’t know him Pete. I’m only inviting you.

Koon Chai: Oh. Then I have to decline Ae.

AE: What do you mean?! Are you saying you won’t come with us if that friend of yours isn’t with you?!

Koon Chai: Ae… please don’t get angry. I can sense your anger through your messages.

AE: Then don’t be unreasonable! I don’t know who the fuck is that guy. You keep on mentioning him to all your messages!

Koon Chai: I’m so sorry Ae. I wont’ bother you again. Please take care.

AE: AI PETE!

Ae didn’t receive any messages and he tried to call Pete only to be greeted by a busy line. He tried again and again and when 2 hours had passed, he knew Pete just blocked him.

Ae was so pissed and punches the wall. He will talk to Pete. He will not let this go. Just who the fuck is that guy as if he is someone more important than him?

Ae went to Pete’s apartment the following morning.

Ae confronted Pete on his apartment and Ae was shocked. How many months have they not seen each other? Pete looks so pale, but what stunned him was how beautiful Pete is and that he cant believe himself that he let those months passed by and he was not there to see this beauty for so many months.

‘Why did you block me?’ Ae asked in contained anger.

Pete didn’t answer and just shook his head. Ae was insisting until Pete gives in

‘Because Ae doesn’t like Tin.’

Ae was so angry with what he heard that he shouted ‘Why the hell should I like him?! Who the hell is he anyway?

‘Tin is Pete’s boyfriend Ae.’

‘What did you say?’

‘Tin is my boyfriend Ae. I am gay.’

Thanks @opald for the inspiration. hugs hugs hugs 

[jeremystrele]

Rising And Shining Through Early Motherhood With Designer + Illustrator, Georgia Perry

Rising And Shining Through Early Motherhood With Designer + Illustrator, Georgia Perry

Family

Ashe Davenport

Georgia and baby Daisy in the family’s Seddon home. Photo – Georgia Evert.

Georgia found out she was pregnant the day before Melbourne’s 2020 lockdowns started. Photo – Georgia Evert.

The couple went through IVF after trying for a few years to get pregnant. Photo – Georgia Evert.

‘With IVF everything is so…deliberate? There are so many points where you have to consciously keep saying, “OK yep! We’re gonna do this! We’re doing this! This is the right thing to do! Let’s keep going!”’ says Georgia. Photo – Georgia Evert.

Given Daisy was born in the middle of a pandemic, she still hasn’t met lots of Georgia and Dave’s family. Photo – Georgia Evert.

Georgia and Dave have done the bulk of new mothering by themselves without their regular support networks that make up the classic ‘village’ due to restrictions. Photo – Georgia Evert.

Daisy is a squidgy bundle of joy! Photo – Georgia Evert.

‘Unfortunately after we left the hospital I really struggled with postnatal depression and anxiety. Still being in various states of lockdown / restrictions, not having my own mum or much support around, etc. It was kind of a lot,’ says Georgia. Photo – Georgia Evert.

Georgia had three months off work after she had Daisy, but found she needed to get back to her creative outlet as soon as possible. Her mental wellbeing is tied so closely to it! Photo – Georgia Evert.

Georgia has found an unexpected community on Instagram, where she receives from other new mums going through a similar experience. Photo – Georgia Evert.

The designer + illustrator cites routine and rituals as the parenting method that works best for her. She turned this enthusiasm into a deck of illustrated meditation cards named Rise & Shine last year! Photo – Georgia Evert.

‘While the world is still in this state of flux, I find the tiniest things can help delineate and give meaning to the day,’ says Georgia. Photo – Georgia Evert.

Georgia Perry makes things that trace people back to joy: a checkers umbrella, a wall chart of flowers, an enamel hair barrette that reads ‘paradise.’ On Instagram she shares new drawings and encouraging words in uninhibited colour palettes. I went into our conversation wanting to know the cause of her optimism, as if it were some kind of affliction. And how she managed to see such spectacular colour in the shadows of our modern world. 

Georgia’s mum was a florist. Right up until she passed away in 2009. She loved helping people celebrate their lives, and cheering them up when they were sick, even when she was sick herself. Georgia is the same way. She discovered she was pregnant with Daisy the day before Melbourne’s first lockdown, and an exceptionally lonely induction into parenthood followed. Yet she continued to make things to delight, like her illustrated card deck ‘Rise & Shine,’ a build-your-own-morning-ritual of yoga poses, meditation and words to ponder. 

When I asked her about her seemingly relentless optimism, she said she didn’t want to be known as ‘the sunshine and unicorns girl.’ She’s surprisingly dry. But I think she hit the nail on the head. Georgia Perry is warming the world and reminding us that there is magic in it. She sees colour in the shadows, because she paints them any way she likes. 

How have you navigated new parenthood? How lonely has it been on a scale of 0-6,000?

I found out I was pregnant the day before the very first lockdown in Melbourne, so I was truly entering uncharted waters. I barely saw any of my friends or family throughout my whole pregnancy, and we didn’t have any of the corny, but life-affirming rituals like babymoons / baby showers that I’d always imagined. I was so happy to be pregnant, but the world felt (still feels) insane and overwhelming at times, so it was a tricky time to navigate emotionally. 

To cope, I just did a lot of meditation and reading and watching TV throughout my pregnancy. Then, given it was so hard for me to get pregnant, and also the fact the world had been turned upside down in 2020, I chose to have a planned c-section. I’m not going to lie – it was amazing. I have fairly traumatic associations with hospital and medical stuff after losing both of my parents so young, so anything that gave me a sense of calm and control – I embraced. It was the best choice for me, and the day of Daisy’s birth was truly the most amazing day of our lives.

Can you speak to your experience getting pregnant and how that all went down?

We tried for years to get pregnant before I found out I had stage 4 endometriosis. I had no idea how common it was and, unbelievably, the only way to have it formally diagnosed is via surgery. We were told you can often get pregnant naturally / easily after the surgery, but it wasn’t the case for me. About a year after the endo surgery we started down the IVF path.  

What is it like choosing pregnancy so consciously?

With IVF everything is so… deliberate? There are so many points where you have to consciously keep saying, “OK yep! We’re gonna do this! We’re doing this! This is the right thing to do! Let’s keep going!” Rather than, say, just falling pregnant naturally and it just being done. There is certainly nothing spontaneous or romantic about IVF. Having to take so many active steps toward getting pregnant (hormone injections > a million blood tests> egg retrieval > embryo transfer, etc) gives you so many opportunities to overthink and psyche yourself out. Especially given everything going on. My partner Dave and I had so many late nights awake asking ourselves, does the world really need another kid right now?

We were super lucky all in all, as we only did one cycle of IVF and got two viable embryos. The first one failed, which was unexpectedly devastating / a low point, but thankfully the second one stuck. 

How did you find those early days of pandemic parenting? 

Unfortunately after we left the hospital I really struggled with postnatal depression and anxiety. Still being in various states of lockdown / restrictions, not having my own mum or much support around, etc. It was kind of a lot. I think I also just severely underestimated the level of hormonal fallout that can come after the birth of a baby.⁣ Just. So. Much. Uncontrollable. Weeping. ⁣Dave and my sister, Brighid were incredible though. And I sought out the help of my GP and a psychologist super early, which was life-saving. And eventually the dark fog did dissipate. 

I hear you. I’m so glad you got the help you needed. Parenting is hard enough without state-sanctioned lockdowns. 

Pandemic / village-less mothering is pretty insane. There are lots of ups and downs. We still don’t have all of our usual coping mechanisms available, and there is a lot of family that Daisy hasn’t met, but we’re doing ok. 

One of the hardest adjustments since having a baby for me has been fully accepting that your time is no longer your own. You go from doing whatever you like on a whim to this little creature being completely reliant on you 24/7. It’s such a complex feeling.  

How have you found the transition back to work? 

I had three months off work after Daisy was born, but (for better or worse) my wellbeing is so closely tied to my work and having a creative outlet. I had to get back to it as soon as I could. This has only been possible thanks to my incredible partner Dave, as he’s taking some time off work and does the lion’s share of the baby-raising during business hours.

I really like the idea of Daisy seeing her mum working and doing something that she truly loves. I’m hoping long term that I can strike a good balance between feeling fulfilled with work and balancing family stuff. I think it’s a continual work in progress.  

Where is the most unexpected place you’ve found support?

Instagram! I’ve been sharing a bit more personal stuff and it’s been such an unexpected source of comfort and encouragement. To realise there are other new mums in the same position as me, doing this without family around, in and out of lockdown, etc. It’s honestly been so uplifting. 

What sparked ‘Rise And Shine’ for you? What other daily rituals do you have?

I LIVE for routines and rituals, which definitely helps when you have a baby. I was approached by Hardie Grant to create Rise & Shine at the beginning of 2020 – little did we know how important daily rituals and “self-care” would become. 

While the world is still in this state of flux, I find the tiniest things can help delineate and give meaning to the day. For me, it’s things like putting music on and lighting incense every morning, stopping for a proper lunch every day and then turning on calming lights and lighting a candle at 5pm. Small actions like that keep me grounded in the moment. 

The adorable family unit outside their Seddon home. Photo – Georgia Evert.

FAMILY FAVOURITES

Rainy day activity?

Drawing and painting. I can’t wait until Daisy is old enough to join in. 

Go-to album?

Sound of Silver by LCD Soundsystem. Yes I still live in 2007.

Sunday ritual?

Dog walk and takeaway croissants.

Favourite cafe?

Common Galaxia in Seddon

Weekend getaway?

Daylesford for open fires and op-shopping.

[sea-and-storm]

      [ GHOA MANKHAD :  About the Character / LFRP ]

B A S I C S

Name :  Ghoa Mankhad. Aliases :  Ghoa Kharlu, Ghoa Kha, Tsakhlai (black market alias), other tribal names. Gender :  Female, cisgendered. Age :  Twenty-four winters. Race :  Au Ra - Xaela. Birthplace :  Azim Steppe - Eastern Coastlands. Current Residence :  A bit of everywhere, but mostly Ul’dah and Kugane at current. Relationship Status :  A handful of non-committed, casual involvements. (Even though she’s technically married, but good luck prying that information out of her!) Romantic Orientation :  Demi-romantic, non-monogamous. Sexual Orientation :  Pansexual. Occupation :  Black market alchemist and poisoner. Occasional healer-for-hire. Small-time con artist. But her preferred job? Hanging off the arms of the wealthy and generous. Enemies :  Probably more than a few NPC enemies, but no PC enemies. (Yet!)

A P P E A R A N C E

Hair :  Mid-back length. Starts a dark, inky blue at the crown and gradually fades into a silver-blue at the ends. The style varies depending on her mood, but small white-gray feathers and/or flowers are usually accompanying whatever style she settles on. Skin :  Medium brown with bronze undertones. Smooth, soft, and obviously well cared for. Eyes :  Light silver-white with bright white limbal rings. Height :  Slightly below average for a female Au Ra at four fulm, ten ilm (4′10″). Markings :  None that are especially notable. No tattoos or other body modifications. A few small scars here and there, but none that one could be faulted for overlooking entirely. Physique :  Petite and soft. Distinctly feminine, even if lacking in exaggerated curvature. 

P E R S O N A L I T Y

Overview :  Ghoa is best and most succinctly described as an unrepentant hedonist ever on the prowl for the next luxury to indulge in and the next thrill to get her blood pumping. But naturally, there’s far, far more to her than meets the eye. Positive Traits :  Intelligent, cultured, curious, adventurous, charismatic. Negative Traits :  Self-centered, manipulative, capricious, stubborn, work-avoidant. Quirks :  Her tail often gives away her emotions, whether or not she’s trying to hide them. Always seeking some sort of thrill or excitement which can sometimes get her involved with the wrong sort or in over her head. Will play flirtatious with anything with a pulse so long as she thinks it stands a chance of endearing her to them and that she can get something out of it (and sometimes even if it won’t). Religion / Philosophy :  Follows traditional Xaelan belief in the Dusk Mother Nhaama and Dawn Father Azim. Also shares a clan-specific reverence for both the sea and the storm. However, despite her beliefs and the occasional ritual or platitude she indulges in, she’s become more or less non-practicing since leaving the Steppe.

Likes :  Traveling, the finer things in life, new experiences, new people, anything that gives a thrill, criminal types, the ocean, thunderstorms, birds. Favorite Foods :  Anything expensive and indulgent.  Seafood and sweets, especially. Favorite Drinks :  Anything top shelf or bought for her. Especially rum and red wine. Favorite Colors :  Dark blue, white, black, gold, silver. Dislikes :  Strict traditions/laws, working, dependency, inactivity, working, anyone who tries to hold onto her too tightly, mopey or aggressively antisocial types. Positive Habits / Hobbies :  Traveling, exploring, dancing, shopping, learning new reagents and alchemical techniques, does excellent work (even if she hates work itself). Negative Habits / Hobbies :  Partying, drinking (often), smoking (occasionally), recreational drugs (occasionally), one-night stands, getting involved with the wrong sorts.

R P   H O O K S

FELLOW XAELA :  This is a pretty wide hook that could encompass a lot of things. Fellow Mankhadi and Kharlu would be interesting to set up potential backstory with. Ghoa has also spent varying lengths of time with other tribes before leaving the Steppe, leaving that avenue for backstory connections open, too. Or we could start wholly fresh! Just keep in mind that Ghoa is pretty non-tribal, so there may be some conflict with more tribal sorts (but I’m 100% down for conflict-based interactions!).

BUSINESS CONTACTS :  Need some poisons or potions on the down-low? Fellow merchant looking to strike a trade arrangement? Got literally any other idea for a business hook that I would most certainly love to hear? Let’s make it happen!

MORALLY QUESTIONABLE? NO PROBLEM! :  Ghoa is the queen of keeping questionable company, finding herself often drawn to those of a more criminal element not only due to her work, but because of how thrilling it can be. (Not to mention that it never hurts to have a couple of people in one’s pocket for those extra special jobs that need to be done.) So give me your thieves, thugs, druglords, smugglers, etc.!

NEED ARMCANDY? :  If your character is wealthy, generous with their money, and appreciates having the company of a charming, attractive woman, Ghoa’s your armcandy! She’s a shameless gildigger whose enjoyment of the finer things in life is only eclipsed by her enjoyment of having them bought for her. But at least they’ll get the joy of sharing her company out of the deal, right?

If you’ve got another idea, let’s hear it!  I just tossed this handful of ideas up for brevity’s sake (and because I’m running out of steam writing them). But if you’ve got an idea for an interaction that doesn’t fit any of the above, I definitely wanna hear it!

O O C   I N F O R M A T I O N

Server :  Balmung Timezone :  Central (US). Availability :  Week nights from 5PM - 11PM CST until raid starts back in Patch 4.2. Saturdays 12PM to whenever. Sundays vary depending on how much I’ve got to do around the house, so tentatively.. 5PM - 11PM CST, maybe a little earlier / later.

Post Style :  I naturally tend towards paragraph-style RP when left to my own devices, but ultimately I mirror what I get or what is most appropriate for the situation! Lore Preference :  I prefer to stick to lore as much as possible, but with a little flexibility for the grey areas. (So long as that flexibility doesn’t get too out of hand.) Seeking :  More RP partners in general! I love intricate, plot-heavy RP just as well as casual, lighthearted event-going RP. So I’m looking to make more contacts both to delve into serious plot with, as well as more friends to hit up things like Tavern Nights, Pub Crawls, Festivals, Balls, and other such server events with. (Because they’re even more fun in groups!) I would prefer to RP in-game, but I’m also willing to do Discord scenes as long as they conclude in a timely manner and don’t leave me in an awkward position with in-game RP. Alternatively, I would potentially be open to one-on-one Discord RP that is AU / non-cannon (i.e. exists in its own bubble and doesn’t affect Ghoa’s actual continuity in-game), especially for those of you who play on a server other than Balmung! Will Do :  Mature, sexual, dark, violent, psychological, and/or criminal themes. Coarse and explicit language. Mild to moderate injury/incapacitation without being given prior notice.  Ask First :  Long-term and/or permanent significant injury and disfigurement. Captivity or imprisonment, either long or short term. ERP, as I'm not always up for writing out sexual scenes (especially if there's no plot advancement purpose behind it or if we don't already have an established RP history together).  Won’t Do :  Character death. Any sort of mature RP (sexual, violent, dark, etc.) involving underage characters or players.

C O N T A C T   I N F O R M A T I O N

In-game :  Ghoa Mankhad. Discord :  Jaliqai#1327.

[andsoshespins]

Peeved at Priests

Having sworn off religion towards the end of college after 18 full years of Catholic education, every time I step into a church for a ceremony in support of my still relatively religious family or friends, I take a deep breath.  I try to cast aside my judgments for the institution, refrain from clucking my tongue when I hear untoward things, restrain my eye-rolling during readings that are about life not being your own but belonging to a higher being, etc.  Because I loved the elementary school and the community in which I grew up, I try to recall what goodness I felt at that time.  I try to empathize and see what people in my family and around the world see in religion.  Admittedly, I sometimes find a little bit of peace in some hymns I remember from being a child, a comfort in organ music or even some tiny but familiar rituals of the mass and their symbolism. 

But then there is always at least one thing that brings back the anger and disdain for religion and particularly the Catholic Church.  Hint:  It usually has to do with the presiding priest.  Mind you, my extended family are parishioners of very many churches, and the priests and churches are rarely ever the same.  But their distasteful attitudes too often are.  

Sadly, I attended a funeral mass for my aunt’s mother this weekend.  She had become very sick at the end of last summer and suffered tremendously as her health declined rapidly in the subsequent four months.  Her small family was still in shock naturally. 

A brief eulogy and a Bible reading were recited prior to the traditional readings and homily of the mass; and so, the priest made a comment that although a reading had already been read, they would have to do it again as part of the Mass.  Weird flex, but okay...?  In a condescending tone during a funeral, this priest could not put aside this strict adherence to formality.  In all my years of Catholic upbringing, I somehow do not think God cares about the sequence of readings.  He would probably rather you not waste time reading the same one twice.  Be quiet, Father, and carry on. 

A little annoyed about this useless comment and attention drawn for no reason other than flaunting some kind of ceremonial machismo, I tried to appreciate the actually very good choir singer.  But then the priest struck again, and any self-restraint I had on my judgments snapped.

The brother of the deceased asked to say a few words at the end, and the priest basically publicly admonished him for wanting to do so, that “the time for that was at the beginning,” “you chose to do a reading,” and basically, “be quick.”  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?  This man is mourning.  This pandemic has multiplied the grief of death for being unable to carry out “normal” customs of this mourning process.   Give him five minutes to tell a few stories about his dead sister, and shut the hell up.  If you need him to be brief, say it tactfully at the very least. 

Not only is this kind of speaking and tone rude in general, but its context within a funeral mass is actually inexcusable.  Not to mention entirely hypocritical--my favorite M.O. of the Church and the biggest reason for my disassociation with it.  Catholicism teaches compassion and sharing your neighbor’s joys and sorrows, but this guy was too intent on being the boss and following some arbitrary schedule.  How dare you call yourself a compassionate vicar of Christ and belittle a grieving family?  

Also, if you’re going to get petty, so will I: I know for a fact you are not busy for the rest of the day until the 5PM mass.  Shut up, do your job, and complain to your collared colleagues in the rectory when the funeral is over if it bothers you that much. 

(And don’t tell me “not all priests” because I have seen it enough, had plenty of evidence from the inside and out.)

To be clear: Each time I step foot in a church in support of family or friends, I am not looking to find a reason to return.  I am not looking for a reason to criticize.  I am simply just hoping not to feel anger.  And it fails every time.

[galadrieljones]

About the Writer

tagged by @asoulonfire. thanks, you! <3

1. Is there a snack you like to eat while writing?

I don’t really eat while writing? I’m like a two year old and always seem to have jam hands even when I’m NOT eating something so like I try to keep the food away from the typing.

2. What time of day do you usually write?

Whenever I have time. Either during my kid’s nap (about 2-5pm), my break at school (1:30-3:30pm), or at night after my kid goes to sleep (10-1am). I’m also kind of a workaholic so like any spare moment I have, if I’m deep in a draft, might go to writing a couple sentences or editing something I wrote earlier.

3. Where do you write?

At my desk, in my bedroom. Sometimes (rarely) at our kitchen table. In my office at school. Sometimes in the classroom, while my students are writing.

4. How often do you write a new fic?

Lately TDS updates have been about 14 days apart. The school year has started, and I’ve been doing a lot of sketching, so my time is a little more limited. But lately it’s only been taking me about three sittings to hammer out and edit a chapter. Mostly this is because I’m on a down slope, where everything is releasing and sort of happy, so the writing is enjoyable. It’s not difficult. I’ve been doing fewer prompt fills lately and stopped taking prompts for the most part. I have about 150 unfilled prompts in my inbox and am starting to feel kind of like a failure in that department lol. I try, and I see them, and I consider them all, I swear!! <3

5. Do you listen to music while you write?

No. I find that listening to music has the ability to color my writing, or inflate its worth in my mind. It’s like watching a movie with a soundtrack, but soundtracks are conventions of movies, not fiction. In a movie, music has a job. For me, with writing, it makes my job harder. Everything the music is doing, I need the words to do all by themselves. That said, I do have a robust playlist. I listen to that a lot when I’m not writing, because obsession is my worst enemy and my best friend.

6. Paper or laptop?

Laptop. I hate handwriting stuff. The only things I handwrite anymore are like, grocery lists, notes for the daycare lady, notes of critique for my creative writing students, and, oddly, the DWC headcount every Friday ^_^ I’m also so fond of digital art I don’t even really sketch as much on paper anymore.

Growing up, however, I used to handwrite and hand draw everything. I see a lot of value to it, especially when you’re just starting out. It forces you to soldier onward and stifles perfectionism in favor of speed and productivity. 

7. Do you have a special pre-writing ritual?

No. I usually know what I need to do before I sit down, so I just sit down, and there I go. Though my writing process lately has been haphazard and unconventional. I’ll sit down bored as hell and have no idea what I’m doing, then randomly type 3,000 words after not having written anything in days, roll over, go to sleep. I have no idea. These things happen in cycles for me.

8. What do you do to get into the writing?

I’m not sure? I daydream a LOT. A lot. I often say the story sort of lives in my mind. It’s always evolving. I don’t keep written outlines. It’s in my head, every strand, every arc. So I’m sort of always sifting through it. The better question for me might be: What do I do to get OUT of the writing? That would be: TV. Marathoning episodes of Party of Five, watching the Ken Burns Vietnam War doc with my husband. These are things I do to decompress, or at least send my mind in another direction. Also, art, though this is just another obsession, which is not relaxing. Art for me is about the finish line. I like finishing stuff. It scratches an itch. But it’s not the same as the writing. So I get frustrated when I’ve done too much art/too little fiction. Like now. Merp.

9. What do you always have near the place you write?

All manner of shit. My art shit. Stacks of books. A disorganized bookshelf. My writing brain is very organized, in its way, and I’m very good at keeping track of everything. But that means that sometimes, my physical environment is a mess.

10. Do you have a reward system for word counts?

No. I just go go go.

11. Is there anything else about your writing process your readers don’t know?

At this point, my writing process is about as chimeric as my actual writing, changing shape all the time with a few guiding tendencies that will never change. I’ve written so many pages of undigested, sometimes altogether secret work that has never seen the light of day but for maybe my husband, or a workshop table with six of my peers and a mentor, or that spare publication that feels good for about six days until the high wears off and you’re back in the dump again, that at this point, whatever you want to know about my writing process, you can find right in the pages of TDS, which goes through so many transformations over the course of its sixteen months, five amassed books, and 300K+ words that I don’t even know where to begin.

The one thing about my process at this point that was not true even just a year ago is that I no longer fear that writing will not get done, or that chapters will not get finished. I’ve finished enough of them to know that the end will happen. It will always come, and so just as long as I stick my nose to the grindstone, I can trust myself to finish: wishing and hoping don’t make words, of course. Typing makes words, so as long as I’m typing, at some point, I’ll find the end. It took a long time to get to the point where I can trust that the work will happen, even on days when it seems tragically elusive. Self-doubt becomes a relic, and so experimentation and change can finally, truly take place. My writing gets tangibly better over the course of TDS. You can see it with your own eyes. And I can safely say this change is because of the literal, unfathomable amount of words I’ve written, all thanks to a bald elf hellbent on ending the world. In the end, I’ll always argue that writing improvement is a game of critical mass. Write enough, and you’ll get better. It’s an ongoing struggle, but it’s the struggle that matters, not the endgame. Every word counts, even the ones you cut. Because once you’re better, you’re only gonna want to get BETTER. And on and on and on. So focus on the writing, not the endgame. Focus on the writing, not whether you think you’re “behind.” Because as long as you’re writing, you’re never behind. That’s how change happens.

tags for @thevikingwoman @tel-abelas-mofo @princessvicky01 @adventuresinastrangeworld @roguelioness @kaoruyogi @buttsonthebeach @ellstersmash @katalyna-rose and anyone who has not done this and would like to <3

[for-the-fantasy]

So Much Has Happened, But Nothing Has Changed. Chapter Four.

MASTERLIST

“So, you two finally saw sense” Shannon smirked

 They were sat at Shannon’s kitchen table and after four months of seeing each other on the down low, had finally decided to tell Shannon. They were great together, never left each other’s side. They went on road trips, to see movies and for intimate, romantic dinners. They still kept their ritual of going up to their spot every so often, just to talk about how things had turned out. Jared and Shannon were finishing up their new album and Addison had been promoted to interior design consultant, which sounded fancier than it actually was.

 “I know” Addison laughed “Who would’ve thought it?”

 The trio all chuckled quietly, Jared kissing Addie’s hand until Shannon broke the silence,

 “Come on, we need to get ready” He motioned to Jared

 They were playing the first gig of many for this week and Addie finally had a night off from looking after her father to go watch them,

 “I am so excited” she clapped her hands together “Guys I haven’t seen you play in so long”

 “I’m excited for you to see us play,” Jared winked grabbing her by the waist as they walked towards the front door.  

 “Okay, so I’m going to go check on Ethan and my Dad and then meet you guys at the gig at about 7:30?” Addie fished for the car keys in her bag

 “Perfect” Jared smiled kissing her on the cheek “See you later”

 Addie came home to a typical Saturday night in their household, Ethan was sat watching some trashy action movie as usual whilst her Dad sat beside him, peacefully resting his eyes.

“Hey guys” she called, “How’re we all doing?”

 “Good” Ethan called out, turning his head and smiling, “Well you’re very cheerful this evening”

 “I am” Addie smiled, walking over to her father and giving him a kiss on the cheek, he opened his eyes and attempted a smile “I am so excited for tonight! Okay, I have to leave in about an hour, I’ll get Dad ready for bed and then is it okay for you to put him to bed? I have to be there by 7:30 so I won’t be here to help you”

 “Yeah that’s cool, we’ll just be chilling until then anyway, wont we Pops?” Ethan smiled at his father “I’m glad you’re in a better place now, Addie” Ethan smiled at his baby sister

 “Me too, thanks Ethan, don’t know what I’d do without you”

 “Oh, stop you” Ethan chuckled, “Now go get dad ready for bed so you can go and party it up, girl!”

 ~~~

The gig was amazing, Addie felt the electric energy all through the venue, Jared was absolutely killing it, he was even better than she remembered and she couldn’t have been prouder of him, she danced and sang along to all the songs and felt as though her heart could burst with pride seeing him up there doing the thing he absolutely loved more than anything in the whole entire world. He was born for this, she thought, he looked at home up there and he had the crowd wrapped round his little finger.

 She waited patiently in the green room when the gig was over, the guys, high on adrenaline, bursting into the room. Jared darted over to her, picking her up and swinging her around and around,

 “Baby, I am so fucking glad you were here to see me play, I fucking killed it because I knew you were watching” He put her down and planted her lips with a long passionate kiss “I love you”

 “I love you more” she laughed “Okay now you need to have a shower because you are so sweaty but I can’t wait to get you home Mr. Big-Time-Rockstar, seeing you up there did all kinds of things to me” she whispered, making sure the guys were all out of ear shot.

 He winked, grabbing her ass and leading her out of the greenroom.

~~~  

 Jared and Addison had been together almost a year and by now Jared was practically a fourth family member, sometimes helping Ethan and Addie look after their Dad, which they found hilarious because he was completely clueless.

 They were set in their routine and everything was as it should be, Addison had gone from working part-time to full-time, fitting her schedule around Ethan’s so that at least one would always be available to stay with their Father when Maggie had days off. She would work in the day and come home and take care of everything that needed to be done for her Dad. Jared’s new album was complete and ready for release, meaning that he had a lot more extra time on his hands, he would come see Addie every night after work at 5pm without fail and every time he helped her look after her Dad, he felt as though he recognised him more and more.

 “Looking good this morning, Mike” he would say, patting him on his shoulder “now I know you recognise who I am today!” he would laugh as Addison’s Dad squinted his eyes as if in some distant part of his brain he really did remember Jared.

But, today was different, Jared was wrapped up in business meetings all day and Ethan had secured himself a hot date with a bombshell brunette, so it was just Addison and her Dad all evening, she tidied away dinner, sat watching the TV with her Dad for a while and finally put him to bed.

 It was nearing midnight and she still hadn’t heard from Jared when there was a knock on the door, it was Jared, his smile stretching from ear to ear as he rushed in and twirled her around,

 “I’m so sorry I’m late baby” He kissed her on the cheek “but we fucking did it! Addison, we fucking did it!”

 “Shh, be quiet you crazy man, you’ll wake him!” she motioned to her father’s room trying to stifle her giggling. “did what?”

 “We got it! We secured a headlining world tour, baby!” He kissed her passionately on the lips

 “You’re insane! That’s amazing” Addison hugged him tight “I’m so happy for you guys, when do you go?”

 “When do I go? You mean when do we go?” Jared laughed sitting on the couch and motioning for her to join him.

 Addison stayed standing, “We? What? Don’t be ridiculous I can’t come with you!”

 “Why not?” Jared positioned himself on the edge of the couch “of course you can!”

 “Did you fall and hit your head before you came in here? Of course, I can’t, I have people here counting on me! I can’t just pick up and leave at the drop of a hat”

 “Okay well maybe not right away but we could maybe give Maggie more hours to look after your Dad and I’m sure Ethan could manage? He’s always telling you to go out and have fun anyway, come on Addie, it’s your life we’re talking about here, you can’t be stuck in this place forever”

 “What? No, Jared this is insane, I can’t just leave my job and sure Ethan tells me to go out and have fun but not leave the fucking country. I have my life here, I can’t just follow you round the fucking world forever” Addison was growing frustrated, “You go and I’ll stay here and wait for you, I thought that was going to be the plan all along anyway?”

 “Fine, you’re right, I’m sorry, I just thought you’d be really open to the idea, I just don’t like the idea of you waiting around for me.” Jared held out his hand for Addison to take, wrapping herself in his arms, she sat on his lap

 “I’m not saying it won’t be hard,” she sighed “but I love you more than anything”

 She turned her face so that they were nose to nose, cupping his cheeks and planting a long soft kiss on his lips

“We’ll make it work”

 ~~~

 Jared had been on the road for eight months, things had not been easy by any means but Addison and Jared had managed to figure it out, phone calls at least three times a week and the odd video chat when they were both free, which was not very often these days, Jared seemed to be getting more and more into the rock star headspace, which didn’t really bother Addison, only that he was becoming less available. He was due home in a week and Addison literally couldn’t wait.

 The day had finally come and practically speeding to the airport, she parked, grabbed her handbag, shoved her sunglasses on her face and excitedly made her way to arrivals. She waited eagerly for him to come through the doors and when he finally did she couldn’t contain herself, she ran to him and jumped full force nearly knocking him to the ground,

 “Fuck I missed you so much” he grabbed her so tight, not wanting to let go “I can’t wait to get home baby” he looked tired, the bags under his eyes a clear giveaway, skinner then he was when he left and less energetic, she took hold of his hand,

 “Come on, you” she smiled

 They pulled up to Jared’s house, the whole ride filled with conversations about the tour, the different places that Jared had been, Addie filled him in on how her Dad was getting on, what Ethan was up to and how her job was going, whilst she felt the smallest flicker of inadequacy, he still seemed interested however he seemed different, she could feel it in her bones, he wasn’t himself, as much as he tried to convince her otherwise

 “I can’t wait to get you inside,” Jared winked “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to have my way with you, those late-night phone calls aren’t enough anymore” he grabbed her thigh before they both got out and made their way up the drive way

 “Dirty Birdy” she winked kissing him as he unlocked the front door.

[localbizlift]

6 Tips For Sending Your Email Newsletter At The Right Time

Have you ever noticed that it seems like every single company seems to send their email newsletter at the same time?

Usually they’re sent very late at night or extra early in the morning.

Which is, funny enough, when most of their audience is sleeping, so we wake up with an overstuffed inbox each morning.

I am guessing that you have also run into this somewhat minor annoyance.

But it literally is one of my biggest pet peeves.

If you are like me, the deleting of most of these newsletters has become part of your morning ritual.

It is pretty refreshing to send them all to your trash folder and get back to inbox zero.

I mean I love reading about data driven marketing tips but not at 7 in the morning.

We are constantly plugged into our email accounts with those supercomputers we call phones.

The days when you would check your email once in the morning and once at night is over.

But, alas, some companies still seem to be sticking to that email schedule.

This strategy is as outdated as that jewel colored iMac or Gateway computer sitting in your basement.

And all the effort you put into great content will be wasted if you pick the wrong time to send.

So I set out to find when the best time to send an email newsletter is, in the most scientific way ever, by signing up for 100 different newsletters and recording all of their send times.

1. Send it from 11-12PM, 1-2PM, or 2-3PM

If you were looking for the best time to send an email I would recommend selecting a time where there is little competition.

Like a time when almost no emails are being sent.

I mean why would you want your newsletter competing for your audience’s attention with a bunch of other emails?

That is just a recipe for low open rates and a drop in subscribers.

So to avoid that I would shoot for a period when no other emails are sent.

In fact, from 11-12PM, 1-2PM and 2-3PM not a single email was sent in our study.

Like not a single one:

Now you may be asking what is the best chunk of time out of those three periods?

And I would have to say that 2-3PM has the most potential.

From 11-12PM and 1-2PM are too close to the lunch hour and could get lost in the shuffle.

Unless your newsletter deals with a fun topic that they would want to read about on that break, I would avoid those two.

Instead try from 2-3PM.

Your audience will most likely be back from lunch by then and feeling a bit recharged.

They have already cleared their emails from the morning and are maybe looking for a little procrastination opportunity.

And boom, your email newsletter is there to help them out.

2. Or from 10-11AM

Now if you don’t want to be the only one sending an email during a certain time period, I have a perfect time for you.

This is another period where almost zero email newsletters were sent out in our study. In fact there were only one email sent out in that whole time period.

And I think that your email can handle a little competition.

This period happens to be from 10-11AM.

As you can see in the graph above there were a few other periods when only a few emails were sent.

But I do not think that they will be as fruitful as from 10-11AM.

For example, from 9-10AM is when a lot of people’s workday starts and 4-5PM is when it usually ends.

That means you are going to be fighting a lot more for their attention than just a few emails.

So to avoid these outside distractions I would choose from 10-11AM.

By then your readers will be settled into their desk, the coffee has kicked in and they are probably at inbox zero.

It is almost a perfect time for an interesting newsletter to pop up in their mailbox.

Additionally, I do find it a little odd that from 10-11AM has been pushed by experts and thought leaders.

But exactly one email was sent.

It really does not make sense, but it does present a new opportunity for your email newsletter to shine.

3. Never between 6-7PM

After carefully counting on both of my hands I was able to determine the worst time to send an email.

This time period was so crowded that more than 10% of all the emails in the study were sent during this hour chunk each day.

That is almost triple what an average hour should have received.

If you have read the graphs above you saw that 6-7 PM got the most emails of any period.

As you can see in the graph above if you decide to send your newsletter in this time period you are going to have some competition.

So I would avoid sending your newsletters during this period based on the jump in competition.

When you compare it to the times we already highlighted above there are 50x more emails during this period.

Even some of the times that got 5x more emails are looking pretty good to me right now.

Unless you want your open rates to plummet from that increased competition I would avoid sending from 6-7PM.

It does kind of make sense why brands would decide to send their weekly email at this time.

Their audience has made it home from their jobs and starting to relax. They should be pretty open to receiving a newsletter about their hobby, interest or activity.

But again, you are brawling in their inbox with a ton of other well-crafted emails for their attention.

Or it will be ignored and rolled into the next morning’s inbox clearing.

4. And avoid after 9PM or before 7AM

One of the easiest ways to fall into that morning deleting spree is to send your email late at night.

Like when your audience is sleeping, so they will see it in the morning.

I never really got the idea behind this practice.

Other than that brands think we want to read about the newest social media marketing tip at 6am.

I know that is the last thing on my mind at that time.

Now if it was an email about coffee being delivered to my bed that would be a different story.

But alas, I saw a ton of companies using this somewhat outdated topic.

We can access our emails at literally any time, the novelty of waking up to news or a newsletter no longer exists.

Or it is so far down the list in their inbox, they will never even see it.

Between 9PM and 7PM more than 60% of all emails in the study were sent.

With nearly 40% of them were sent between 9PM and 2AM. Or about double of what should have been sent if all things were equal.

That is a lot of emails your newsletter is going to be fighting.

Plus your audience is most likely not even awake, and the people who are up at that time probably don’t want to read your newsletter at that moment.

That means, you guessed it, that it will be put off until the next morning.

From there it goes right into the morning delete spree or simply forgotten about.

And all your hard work on the newsletter goes ignored.

Do not let your content be wasted because you chose the wrong time to send a great email.

5. Wednesdays & Saturdays Have Potential

Just like in the previous sections you are going to want to pick a day that has the least competition.

By sending your email on a day like this it is going to stand out like a beacon of good content.

The best day to send your email is Wednesday, with Saturday coming in at a close second.

As you can see they were some of the days to receive the least emails overall.

In our own tests we have seen Wednesday perform well, with some newsletters getting double the open rate of previous days.

I think that Wednesday is the perfect day to send your email newsletter.

Especially if your newsletter is related to their job or work.

They will feel a lot less guilty about losing themselves in your content for a few minutes.

Plus if it is really amazing they will want to share it with their coworkers!

And that means that if your topic deals with a fun hobby or interest I would send it on a Saturday.

Your audience will a lot more receptive to reading about something they could do later that day.

Or they will have a lot more time to absorb all of your fantastic content.

Either way both of these days are a great point to start testing to find what your own best day!

Before we go on I think it is important to highlight why I did not select Sunday as the best day.

I really think that it is too much of a wildcard day and the email could be lost in the shuffle of that day.

Then it gets pushed into the Monday morning mass inbox cleaning.

And although you may have loved to read the content you just don’t have time to.

This has happened to me too many times to count and I am guessing many people can relate.

6. Thursdays are the Worst Day to Send

Finding the best day to send an email was a little difficult and not very straightforward.

Thankfully the worst day was a lot easier to find.

And that day was Thursday.

It received more than double the amount of emails when compared to Wednesday and Saturday.

Exactly 25% of all the emails were sent on a Thursday, with no other days really coming close.

That put it well above the 70 or so emails I received per day on average.

Some experts proclaiming that Tuesday and Thursday are the best days to send a newsletter probably cause this.

I am guessing that people have been blindly following this advice for the past few years.

And now we are in a situation where the best day to send an email has actually become the worst day.

Conclusion

So there you have it, the best and worst times for you to send an email newsletter!

I now need to go click unsubscribe on about 100 different emails.

Or I may just cut my losses with that email address from now on.

But that sacrifice of an email address was definitely worth it because I was able to get some interesting findings.

Those findings will hopefully keep you from sending an email newsletter at the wrong time or day.

Just remember:

Send newsletters during these time blocks: 11-12 PM, 1-2 PM & 2-3 PM.

Between 9 and 11 AM is another great block of time.

If your newsletter is related to their job, send it during the workday.

Do not send newsletters at peak work movement hours, like 8 AM and 5 PM.

Emails sent during the night or early mornings are a bad idea.

Thursday is the worst day to send an email.

Mondays and Fridays should be avoided as well.

But the best day to send a newsletter is on Wednesday.

And finally, it is important to remember to test all of these findings with your audience first. These tips should always be used a testing points for your new emails, not set in stone facts.

About Kissmetrics

Kissmetrics combines behavioral analytics with email automation. Our software tracks actions of your users across multiple devices allowing you to analyze, segment and engage your customers with automatic, behavior-based emails in one place. We call it Customer Engagement Automation. Get, keep and grow more customers with Kissmetrics.

    About the Author: Ryan McCready went to the University of Arkansas and graduated with a degree in economics and international business. Now instead of studying the economy he writes about everything and enjoys stirring the pot.

[dailybail]

6 Tips For Sending Your Email Newsletter At The Right Time

Have you ever noticed that it seems like every single company seems to send their email newsletter at the same time?

Usually they’re sent very late at night or extra early in the morning.

Which is, funny enough, when most of their audience is sleeping, so we wake up with an overstuffed inbox each morning.

I am guessing that you have also run into this somewhat minor annoyance.

But it literally is one of my biggest pet peeves.

If you are like me, the deleting of most of these newsletters has become part of your morning ritual.

It is pretty refreshing to send them all to your trash folder and get back to inbox zero.

I mean I love reading about data driven marketing tips but not at 7 in the morning.

We are constantly plugged into our email accounts with those supercomputers we call phones.

The days when you would check your email once in the morning and once at night is over.

But, alas, some companies still seem to be sticking to that email schedule.

This strategy is as outdated as that jewel colored iMac or Gateway computer sitting in your basement.

And all the effort you put into great content will be wasted if you pick the wrong time to send.

So I set out to find when the best time to send an email newsletter is, in the most scientific way ever, by signing up for 100 different newsletters and recording all of their send times.

1. Send it from 11-12PM, 1-2PM, or 2-3PM

If you were looking for the best time to send an email I would recommend selecting a time where there is little competition.

Like a time when almost no emails are being sent.

I mean why would you want your newsletter competing for your audience’s attention with a bunch of other emails?

That is just a recipe for low open rates and a drop in subscribers.

So to avoid that I would shoot for a period when no other emails are sent.

In fact, from 11-12PM, 1-2PM and 2-3PM not a single email was sent in our study.

Like not a single one:

Now you may be asking what is the best chunk of time out of those three periods?

And I would have to say that 2-3PM has the most potential.

From 11-12PM and 1-2PM are too close to the lunch hour and could get lost in the shuffle.

Unless your newsletter deals with a fun topic that they would want to read about on that break, I would avoid those two.

Instead try from 2-3PM.

Your audience will most likely be back from lunch by then and feeling a bit recharged.

They have already cleared their emails from the morning and are maybe looking for a little procrastination opportunity.

And boom, your email newsletter is there to help them out.

2. Or from 10-11AM

Now if you don’t want to be the only one sending an email during a certain time period, I have a perfect time for you.

This is another period where almost zero email newsletters were sent out in our study. In fact there were only one email sent out in that whole time period.

And I think that your email can handle a little competition.

This period happens to be from 10-11AM.

As you can see in the graph above there were a few other periods when only a few emails were sent.

But I do not think that they will be as fruitful as from 10-11AM.

For example, from 9-10AM is when a lot of people’s workday starts and 4-5PM is when it usually ends.

That means you are going to be fighting a lot more for their attention than just a few emails.

So to avoid these outside distractions I would choose from 10-11AM.

By then your readers will be settled into their desk, the coffee has kicked in and they are probably at inbox zero.

It is almost a perfect time for an interesting newsletter to pop up in their mailbox.

Additionally, I do find it a little odd that from 10-11AM has been pushed by experts and thought leaders.

But exactly one email was sent.

It really does not make sense, but it does present a new opportunity for your email newsletter to shine.

3. Never between 6-7PM

After carefully counting on both of my hands I was able to determine the worst time to send an email.

This time period was so crowded that more than 10% of all the emails in the study were sent during this hour chunk each day.

That is almost triple what an average hour should have received.

If you have read the graphs above you saw that 6-7 PM got the most emails of any period.

As you can see in the graph above if you decide to send your newsletter in this time period you are going to have some competition.

So I would avoid sending your newsletters during this period based on the jump in competition.

When you compare it to the times we already highlighted above there are 50x more emails during this period.

Even some of the times that got 5x more emails are looking pretty good to me right now.

Unless you want your open rates to plummet from that increased competition I would avoid sending from 6-7PM.

It does kind of make sense why brands would decide to send their weekly email at this time.

Their audience has made it home from their jobs and starting to relax. They should be pretty open to receiving a newsletter about their hobby, interest or activity.

But again, you are brawling in their inbox with a ton of other well-crafted emails for their attention.

Or it will be ignored and rolled into the next morning’s inbox clearing.

4. And avoid after 9PM or before 7AM

One of the easiest ways to fall into that morning deleting spree is to send your email late at night.

Like when your audience is sleeping, so they will see it in the morning.

I never really got the idea behind this practice.

Other than that brands think we want to read about the newest social media marketing tip at 6am.

I know that is the last thing on my mind at that time.

Now if it was an email about coffee being delivered to my bed that would be a different story.

But alas, I saw a ton of companies using this somewhat outdated topic.

We can access our emails at literally any time, the novelty of waking up to news or a newsletter no longer exists.

Or it is so far down the list in their inbox, they will never even see it.

Between 9PM and 7PM more than 60% of all emails in the study were sent.

With nearly 40% of them were sent between 9PM and 2AM. Or about double of what should have been sent if all things were equal.

That is a lot of emails your newsletter is going to be fighting.

Plus your audience is most likely not even awake, and the people who are up at that time probably don’t want to read your newsletter at that moment.

That means, you guessed it, that it will be put off until the next morning.

From there it goes right into the morning delete spree or simply forgotten about.

And all your hard work on the newsletter goes ignored.

Do not let your content be wasted because you chose the wrong time to send a great email.

5. Wednesdays & Saturdays Have Potential

Just like in the previous sections you are going to want to pick a day that has the least competition.

By sending your email on a day like this it is going to stand out like a beacon of good content.

The best day to send your email is Wednesday, with Saturday coming in at a close second.

As you can see they were some of the days to receive the least emails overall.

In our own tests we have seen Wednesday perform well, with some newsletters getting double the open rate of previous days.

I think that Wednesday is the perfect day to send your email newsletter.

Especially if your newsletter is related to their job or work.

They will feel a lot less guilty about losing themselves in your content for a few minutes.

Plus if it is really amazing they will want to share it with their coworkers!

And that means that if your topic deals with a fun hobby or interest I would send it on a Saturday.

Your audience will a lot more receptive to reading about something they could do later that day.

Or they will have a lot more time to absorb all of your fantastic content.

Either way both of these days are a great point to start testing to find what your own best day!

Before we go on I think it is important to highlight why I did not select Sunday as the best day.

I really think that it is too much of a wildcard day and the email could be lost in the shuffle of that day.

Then it gets pushed into the Monday morning mass inbox cleaning.

And although you may have loved to read the content you just don’t have time to.

This has happened to me too many times to count and I am guessing many people can relate.

6. Thursdays are the Worst Day to Send

Finding the best day to send an email was a little difficult and not very straightforward.

Thankfully the worst day was a lot easier to find.

And that day was Thursday.

It received more than double the amount of emails when compared to Wednesday and Saturday.

Exactly 25% of all the emails were sent on a Thursday, with no other days really coming close.

That put it well above the 70 or so emails I received per day on average.

Some experts proclaiming that Tuesday and Thursday are the best days to send a newsletter probably cause this.

I am guessing that people have been blindly following this advice for the past few years.

And now we are in a situation where the best day to send an email has actually become the worst day.

Conclusion

So there you have it, the best and worst times for you to send an email newsletter!

I now need to go click unsubscribe on about 100 different emails.

Or I may just cut my losses with that email address from now on.

But that sacrifice of an email address was definitely worth it because I was able to get some interesting findings.

Those findings will hopefully keep you from sending an email newsletter at the wrong time or day.

Just remember:

Send newsletters during these time blocks: 11-12 PM, 1-2 PM & 2-3 PM.

Between 9 and 11 AM is another great block of time.

If your newsletter is related to their job, send it during the workday.

Do not send newsletters at peak work movement hours, like 8 AM and 5 PM.

Emails sent during the night or early mornings are a bad idea.

Thursday is the worst day to send an email.

Mondays and Fridays should be avoided as well.

But the best day to send a newsletter is on Wednesday.

And finally, it is important to remember to test all of these findings with your audience first. These tips should always be used a testing points for your new emails, not set in stone facts.

About Kissmetrics

Kissmetrics combines behavioral analytics with email automation. Our software tracks actions of your users across multiple devices allowing you to analyze, segment and engage your customers with automatic, behavior-based emails in one place. We call it Customer Engagement Automation. Get, keep and grow more customers with Kissmetrics.

    About the Author: Ryan McCready went to the University of Arkansas and graduated with a degree in economics and international business. Now instead of studying the economy he writes about everything and enjoys stirring the pot.

from The Kissmetrics Marketing Blog http://ift.tt/2jJHMq9 via http://ift.tt/1oIgpXs

[adolphkwinter]

6 Tips For Sending Your Email Newsletter At The Right Time

Have you ever noticed that it seems like every single company seems to send their email newsletter at the same time?

Usually they’re sent very late at night or extra early in the morning.

Which is, funny enough, when most of their audience is sleeping, so we wake up with an overstuffed inbox each morning.

I am guessing that you have also run into this somewhat minor annoyance.

But it literally is one of my biggest pet peeves.

If you are like me, the deleting of most of these newsletters has become part of your morning ritual.

It is pretty refreshing to send them all to your trash folder and get back to inbox zero.

I mean I love reading about data driven marketing tips but not at 7 in the morning.

We are constantly plugged into our email accounts with those supercomputers we call phones.

The days when you would check your email once in the morning and once at night is over.

But, alas, some companies still seem to be sticking to that email schedule.

This strategy is as outdated as that jewel colored iMac or Gateway computer sitting in your basement.

And all the effort you put into great content will be wasted if you pick the wrong time to send.

So I set out to find when the best time to send an email newsletter is, in the most scientific way ever, by signing up for 100 different newsletters and recording all of their send times.

1. Send it from 11-12PM, 1-2PM, or 2-3PM

If you were looking for the best time to send an email I would recommend selecting a time where there is little competition.

Like a time when almost no emails are being sent.

I mean why would you want your newsletter competing for your audience’s attention with a bunch of other emails?

That is just a recipe for low open rates and a drop in subscribers.

So to avoid that I would shoot for a period when no other emails are sent.

In fact, from 11-12PM, 1-2PM and 2-3PM not a single email was sent in our study.

Like not a single one:

Now you may be asking what is the best chunk of time out of those three periods?

And I would have to say that 2-3PM has the most potential.

From 11-12PM and 1-2PM are too close to the lunch hour and could get lost in the shuffle.

Unless your newsletter deals with a fun topic that they would want to read about on that break, I would avoid those two.

Instead try from 2-3PM.

Your audience will most likely be back from lunch by then and feeling a bit recharged.

They have already cleared their emails from the morning and are maybe looking for a little procrastination opportunity.

And boom, your email newsletter is there to help them out.

2. Or from 10-11AM

Now if you don’t want to be the only one sending an email during a certain time period, I have a perfect time for you.

This is another period where almost zero email newsletters were sent out in our study. In fact there were only one email sent out in that whole time period.

And I think that your email can handle a little competition.

This period happens to be from 10-11AM.

As you can see in the graph above there were a few other periods when only a few emails were sent.

But I do not think that they will be as fruitful as from 10-11AM.

For example, from 9-10AM is when a lot of people’s workday starts and 4-5PM is when it usually ends.

That means you are going to be fighting a lot more for their attention than just a few emails.

So to avoid these outside distractions I would choose from 10-11AM.

By then your readers will be settled into their desk, the coffee has kicked in and they are probably at inbox zero.

It is almost a perfect time for an interesting newsletter to pop up in their mailbox.

Additionally, I do find it a little odd that from 10-11AM has been pushed by experts and thought leaders.

But exactly one email was sent.

It really does not make sense, but it does present a new opportunity for your email newsletter to shine.

3. Never between 6-7PM

After carefully counting on both of my hands I was able to determine the worst time to send an email.

This time period was so crowded that more than 10% of all the emails in the study were sent during this hour chunk each day.

That is almost triple what an average hour should have received.

If you have read the graphs above you saw that 6-7 PM got the most emails of any period.

As you can see in the graph above if you decide to send your newsletter in this time period you are going to have some competition.

So I would avoid sending your newsletters during this period based on the jump in competition.

When you compare it to the times we already highlighted above there are 50x more emails during this period.

Even some of the times that got 5x more emails are looking pretty good to me right now.

Unless you want your open rates to plummet from that increased competition I would avoid sending from 6-7PM.

It does kind of make sense why brands would decide to send their weekly email at this time.

Their audience has made it home from their jobs and starting to relax. They should be pretty open to receiving a newsletter about their hobby, interest or activity.

But again, you are brawling in their inbox with a ton of other well-crafted emails for their attention.

Or it will be ignored and rolled into the next morning’s inbox clearing.

4. And avoid after 9PM or before 7AM

One of the easiest ways to fall into that morning deleting spree is to send your email late at night.

Like when your audience is sleeping, so they will see it in the morning.

I never really got the idea behind this practice.

Other than that brands think we want to read about the newest social media marketing tip at 6am.

I know that is the last thing on my mind at that time.

Now if it was an email about coffee being delivered to my bed that would be a different story.

But alas, I saw a ton of companies using this somewhat outdated topic.

We can access our emails at literally any time, the novelty of waking up to news or a newsletter no longer exists.

Or it is so far down the list in their inbox, they will never even see it.

Between 9PM and 7PM more than 60% of all emails in the study were sent.

With nearly 40% of them were sent between 9PM and 2AM. Or about double of what should have been sent if all things were equal.

That is a lot of emails your newsletter is going to be fighting.

Plus your audience is most likely not even awake, and the people who are up at that time probably don’t want to read your newsletter at that moment.

That means, you guessed it, that it will be put off until the next morning.

From there it goes right into the morning delete spree or simply forgotten about.

And all your hard work on the newsletter goes ignored.

Do not let your content be wasted because you chose the wrong time to send a great email.

5. Wednesdays & Saturdays Have Potential

Just like in the previous sections you are going to want to pick a day that has the least competition.

By sending your email on a day like this it is going to stand out like a beacon of good content.

The best day to send your email is Wednesday, with Saturday coming in at a close second.

As you can see they were some of the days to receive the least emails overall.

In our own tests we have seen Wednesday perform well, with some newsletters getting double the open rate of previous days.

I think that Wednesday is the perfect day to send your email newsletter.

Especially if your newsletter is related to their job or work.

They will feel a lot less guilty about losing themselves in your content for a few minutes.

Plus if it is really amazing they will want to share it with their coworkers!

And that means that if your topic deals with a fun hobby or interest I would send it on a Saturday.

Your audience will a lot more receptive to reading about something they could do later that day.

Or they will have a lot more time to absorb all of your fantastic content.

Either way both of these days are a great point to start testing to find what your own best day!

Before we go on I think it is important to highlight why I did not select Sunday as the best day.

I really think that it is too much of a wildcard day and the email could be lost in the shuffle of that day.

Then it gets pushed into the Monday morning mass inbox cleaning.

And although you may have loved to read the content you just don’t have time to.

This has happened to me too many times to count and I am guessing many people can relate.

6. Thursdays are the Worst Day to Send

Finding the best day to send an email was a little difficult and not very straightforward.

Thankfully the worst day was a lot easier to find.

And that day was Thursday.

It received more than double the amount of emails when compared to Wednesday and Saturday.

Exactly 25% of all the emails were sent on a Thursday, with no other days really coming close.

That put it well above the 70 or so emails I received per day on average.

Some experts proclaiming that Tuesday and Thursday are the best days to send a newsletter probably cause this.

I am guessing that people have been blindly following this advice for the past few years.

And now we are in a situation where the best day to send an email has actually become the worst day.

Conclusion

So there you have it, the best and worst times for you to send an email newsletter!

I now need to go click unsubscribe on about 100 different emails.

Or I may just cut my losses with that email address from now on.

But that sacrifice of an email address was definitely worth it because I was able to get some interesting findings.

Those findings will hopefully keep you from sending an email newsletter at the wrong time or day.

Just remember:

Send newsletters during these time blocks: 11-12 PM, 1-2 PM & 2-3 PM.

Between 9 and 11 AM is another great block of time.

If your newsletter is related to their job, send it during the workday.

Do not send newsletters at peak work movement hours, like 8 AM and 5 PM.

Emails sent during the night or early mornings are a bad idea.

Thursday is the worst day to send an email.

Mondays and Fridays should be avoided as well.

But the best day to send a newsletter is on Wednesday.

And finally, it is important to remember to test all of these findings with your audience first. These tips should always be used a testing points for your new emails, not set in stone facts.

About Kissmetrics

Kissmetrics combines behavioral analytics with email automation. Our software tracks actions of your users across multiple devices allowing you to analyze, segment and engage your customers with automatic, behavior-based emails in one place. We call it Customer Engagement Automation. Get, keep and grow more customers with Kissmetrics.

    About the Author: Ryan McCready went to the University of Arkansas and graduated with a degree in economics and international business. Now instead of studying the economy he writes about everything and enjoys stirring the pot.

from Online Marketing Tips https://blog.kissmetrics.com/sending-newsletter-at-the-right-time/

[dorothydelgadillo]

What is Remote Work? And Is It As Good As It Sounds?

Here’s a fun fact: Skillcrush (as in us, the team, right here) is a fully remote company comprised of dozens of remote workers. Every day, we log onto various platforms—Google Hangouts, Jira, Slack—and we get down to it.

Work days for us don’t look that different from a conventional company, honestly, with the exception maybe of the way we run our projects. There are team meetings, water cooler-esque chatter in various Slack channels, lunch breaks. We just do it from far-flung places like Los Angeles, Prague, Florida, and Finland.

There are advantages and disadvantages to remote work, of course (and I’ll delve into those later in this article), but the point is this: there’s a high probability that remote is the future. That’s why, today, I’m deep-diving into what remote work is, what it isn’t, and what it could be for someone who looks a lot like…yeah, you.

What Is Remote Work?

You might have heard it called “telecommuting” or even “work from home”, but remote work is based on the idea that work can be done from anywhere—within reason. The premise is this: thanks to the digital age, you can successfully complete projects and communicate with your team—even manage a team—without being in the same room or even the same city.

That means that rather than going into an office (or, worse, a dimly lit cubicle) everyday, you can work remotely potentially from anywhere as long as you’ve got a laptop and internet. Good internet is key.

How is remote work different than “work from home” or “flexible hours”?

Remote Work Versus Work From Home

Think of remote work as the umbrella term. At our company, plenty of us work from home, but others choose to head into a coworking space for part or all of the day. Sometimes people shift to a cafe in the late afternoon. And then there are those of us, like our Director of Operations, Caro Griffin, who work from everywhere (seriously, she gave up her apartment last year before hopping a flight abroad), courtesy of programs like Remote Year.

So is work from home right for you? Some people can work from their living room (so far so good with me) while others go nuts without the ritual of leaving the house. For that reason, before diving into remote job boards, it’s definitely worth considering whether it sounds like something you’d enjoy. That doesn’t mean you have to give up on remote work entirely—you can always look for jobs that offer coworking space stipends. Skillcrush does!

Remote Work Versus Flex Jobs

Our remote team also practices flexible hours. This is pretty inevitable given that we’re juggling multiple time zones.

Each team at Skillcrush decides on meeting times based on hours where they overlap (when our graphic designer in Romania meets us in video chats at 8:30am my time, it’s 11 hours later for her).

But “flex hours” don’t always equal “remote job”. Sometimes, flex can mean time-shifting working hours during the week or even job sharing with another part-time person, so it’s important to understand all the options. Here’s a roundup of five flex schedules you might come across.

The biggest distinction is this: a flex job is a role that allows you more freedom regarding when and how much you work so you can prioritize other elements in your life (like parenthood), whereas a remote job allows you the freedom of where you work. Often, companies and roles combine both elements to create a sustainable company culture.

Remote Work Versus Telecommuting

Then there’s telecommuting. This is a bit of a dated term (you mostly hear it when you’re reading outdated business sites), but a telecommuter is someone who works some or all of her hours from home in the same geographic area as the company. Remote work implies that you don’t have to come into the office at all meaning you could be living in Bangkok and talking to your boss in Berlin.

These days, some companies don’t distinguish between the two terms like they used to, so if you’re looking for a remote job, it doesn’t hurt to search through telecommuting jobs, as well. For the purposes of this article, though, let’s use the term “remote work” from here on out.

Remote Work: The Advantages and Disadvantages

Now that you know what remote work is, let’s talk about why you might like it (and why you might not).

Pro: You’re more likely to stay long-term

Remote work means you’re able to handle most of what life throws at you—including the moments that might have previously put your job at risk.

Last year, before I joined Skillcrush, a critically ill parent meant that I had to spend weeks aways from my office. Despite an incredibly supportive team and boss, that period of enforced flexibility was a major stressor. It meant I ping-ponged back and forth between cities whenever I felt like I’d been out of touch for too long. And had my company not been so understanding, I would have wound up having to take unpaid leave for all those extra days.

Not so with remote work. A laptop means you can work from home, on the road, and even (but I hope this doesn’t happen) from a hospital. It’s work that takes into account how unexpected life is.

Remote jobs also mean that if you’re considering maternity leave or your partner gets a job in a different city, you don’t have to sacrifice the job you love for the person (or future little person) you love. Warm and squishy, right?

Pro: You’ll have more time for deep work

Anyone else remember when that study came out that proved that work interruptions cost you up to six hours a day?

Those notorious “Hey, quick question…”s add up. Here at Skillcrush, we tend to stack meetings in the morning, meaning that the late afternoon is primed for deep work (I’m writing this massive article in uninterrupted bliss right now, in fact).

Working from home or from a coworking space where you don’t know the people around you means more focus. Another bonus: remote work is built on the belief that you’ll get your work done, not that you need to have your butt in a seat for exactly 40 hours a week. The result is that you’ll focus on quality not quantity, which is good for everyone including the company.

Pro: You’ll learn some seriously impressive communication skills

One could argue that it’s much harder to communicate when you work remotely, but I’d actually disagree. Working remotely means that communication is everything. It’s immediately apparent when the way you’re communicating isn’t working, and you’ll be forced to fix issues much more quickly. This is communication on steroids, and it means you’re going to dramatically improve every technique from how you present ideas to how you voice frustrations about a coworker. All good things.

Pro: You’ll feel healthier

A 2016 study from the University of Minnesota found that workplace flexibility lowered stress and the risk of burnout. So that’s better mental health. Then there’s the fact that working from home means you’re less likely to encounter this season’s flu.

Another big benefit of remote work on health: Forbes argues that while people commuting to offices reported that they were less likely to exercise and eat well, remote workers don’t have those barriers. Spoken from personal experience: it’s almost a treat to go to the gym at 5pm when you’ve been at home all day. Almost.

Pro: It’s one (huge) step toward ending the gender wage and leadership gaps

Part of the reason Skillcrush’s CEO, Adda Birnir, decided to build a remote company from the start was that it allowed women to have the flexible schedules they needed for personal priorities and successful careers.

Many studies have found that the gender wage gap is actually a motherhood gap. That gap also affects how many women become leaders within their companies. Time off, especially in a nation that lacks strong parental leave standards, inevitably leads to falling behind.

From the lens of intersectional feminism, there’s another clear-cut advantage: remote work means that you don’t have to live in an expensive city to work for a big name company or find a role that’s ideal for you. This means more opportunities for everyone, but particularly those who might previously have been excluded because of their location, background, or scheduling needs.

Con: You run the risk of feeling isolated

This disadvantage of remote work kind of goes without saying. If you’re used to working in a busy office environment, switching to a work from home schedule might get to you.

That said, many companies offer coworking space stipends or other programs if you begin to feel the monotony of your home office (and there are always coffee shops!). And a remote company done right involves a lot of video conferences and messages throughout the day—so you may find it’s not as isolating as you’d expect.

Con: You’re responsible for staying on track

Look, we won’t mince words: remote work requires a self-starter attitude. No one is checking to see if you’re working or how hard, you’re just required to get your work done on time. If you have trouble self-motivating, remote work might not be the best job for you. Then again, it might teach you how to take ownership of your work, which ultimately, is a great thing.

Con: You won’t always have immediate access to your team

Not to keep picking on Lizu, our graphic designer, but she signs off for the day (or her night) around 9:30am my time. That means that if I realize I need something from her that I haven’t assigned, I won’t get it until I start the next morning. Luckily, remote work means putting processes in place where those kind of moments don’t happen—or at least happen rarely. It’s all about doing proper planning (which we do through Scrum) to make sure everyone knows what’s coming.

Is Remote Work Right For You?

The big question, right? If you’re not sure if remote work is right for you (maybe because you’re one of those people I mentioned earlier who has a hard time self-motivating), we created a quiz to help you parse through it.

I’m tempted to make an argument that there’s a form of remote work for everyone, though. It’s just about finding the right one for you, which brings me to the next point…

How to Actually Find a Remote Job

I’ve only been at Skillcrush for about a month, and so I’m more than happy to answer this question for you directly from experience.

The beauty of the digital age is that there are job boards specifically for finding remote work. If you decide that a work from home, telecommuting, or remote job is right for you, you can go straight to the places where companies post more flexible positions. Here are a few of our favorites.

The 5 Best Remote Job Boards

1. FLEXJOBS FlexJobs has over 50 remote jobs categories, with positions ranging from freelance gigs, to part-time work, to full-time jobs, with remote careers varying from entry-level to executive. The best part? FlexJobs screens their jobs before posting, so you don’t have to dig through any less than reputable opportunities. The site currently hosts more than 20,000 work-at-home and digital nomad job postings.

2. WE WORK REMOTELY With a simple, straightforward layout, this job board is a catch-all of remote, work from home jobs from customer service, to web design, to programming. Living up to their stated goal of ”finding the most qualified people in the most unexpected place,” the We Work Remotely site connects over 130,000 monthly users with telecommuting opportunities. It’s your ticket to remote employment in no time.

3. REMOTE.CO Remote.co hand-curates their list of remote jobs. These listings include customer service positions, design opportunities, developer jobs, recruiter and HR roles, sales jobs, and other remote work (including writers, managers, and marketers). The Remote.co site also has the handy feature of allowing you to search or browse by job type.

4. POWERTOFLY PowerToFly is a dream come true for female job seekers interested in working remotely. PowerToFly focuses on matching women in tech with remote and work-from-home jobs. If you join the site’s talent database, you’ll then go through a vetting process and get matched for a paid trial (a 2-4 week test period) with a potential employer. The site was started by two tech-savvy moms who were dedicate to making other women’s digital nomad dreams a reality, and PowerToFly continues that mission today.

5. JUSTREMOTE.CO I got three solid interviews for positions off this board, so it’s definitely legitimate. It’s especially targeted at web developers, designers, and marketers.

These are just a few of the 25+ best remote job boards that we rounded up in another recent article. Told you remote work was the future, didn’t I?

Sometimes, Though, a Remote Job Means You Need More Skills

Truth be told, a lot of remote jobs are in the world of tech. That makes sense, right? If you’re building digital platforms and brands, you should believe that technology can do anything, including help teams work from any and everywhere. If you’re interested in a new career that’s more flexible, building up some tech skills might be exactly what you need. Take a look at our programs on topics like WordPress and User Experience or sign up for our 10-day bootcamp to learn some HTML & CSS basics. Who knows? This time next year you might be a web developer, fielding emails from Brazil.

from Web Developers World https://skillcrush.com/2018/11/07/what-is-remote-work/

[webanalytics]

6 Tips For Sending Your Email Newsletter At The Right Time

Have you ever noticed that it seems like every single company seems to send their email newsletter at the same time?

Usually they’re sent very late at night or extra early in the morning.

Which is, funny enough, when most of their audience is sleeping, so we wake up with an overstuffed inbox each morning.

I am guessing that you have also run into this somewhat minor annoyance.

But it literally is one of my biggest pet peeves.

If you are like me, the deleting of most of these newsletters has become part of your morning ritual.

It is pretty refreshing to send them all to your trash folder and get back to inbox zero.

I mean I love reading about data driven marketing tips but not at 7 in the morning.

We are constantly plugged into our email accounts with those supercomputers we call phones.

The days when you would check your email once in the morning and once at night is over.

But, alas, some companies still seem to be sticking to that email schedule.

This strategy is as outdated as that jewel colored iMac or Gateway computer sitting in your basement.

And all the effort you put into great content will be wasted if you pick the wrong time to send.

So I set out to find when the best time to send an email newsletter is, in the most scientific way ever, by signing up for 100 different newsletters and recording all of their send times.

1. Send it from 11-12PM, 1-2PM, or 2-3PM

If you were looking for the best time to send an email I would recommend selecting a time where there is little competition.

Like a time when almost no emails are being sent.

I mean why would you want your newsletter competing for your audience’s attention with a bunch of other emails?

That is just a recipe for low open rates and a drop in subscribers.

So to avoid that I would shoot for a period when no other emails are sent.

In fact, from 11-12PM, 1-2PM and 2-3PM not a single email was sent in our study.

Like not a single one:

Now you may be asking what is the best chunk of time out of those three periods?

And I would have to say that 2-3PM has the most potential.

From 11-12PM and 1-2PM are too close to the lunch hour and could get lost in the shuffle.

Unless your newsletter deals with a fun topic that they would want to read about on that break, I would avoid those two.

Instead try from 2-3PM.

Your audience will most likely be back from lunch by then and feeling a bit recharged.

They have already cleared their emails from the morning and are maybe looking for a little procrastination opportunity.

And boom, your email newsletter is there to help them out.

2. Or from 10-11AM

Now if you don’t want to be the only one sending an email during a certain time period, I have a perfect time for you.

This is another period where almost zero email newsletters were sent out in our study. In fact there were only one email sent out in that whole time period.

And I think that your email can handle a little competition.

This period happens to be from 10-11AM.

As you can see in the graph above there were a few other periods when only a few emails were sent.

But I do not think that they will be as fruitful as from 10-11AM.

For example, from 9-10AM is when a lot of people’s workday starts and 4-5PM is when it usually ends.

That means you are going to be fighting a lot more for their attention than just a few emails.

So to avoid these outside distractions I would choose from 10-11AM.

By then your readers will be settled into their desk, the coffee has kicked in and they are probably at inbox zero.

It is almost a perfect time for an interesting newsletter to pop up in their mailbox.

Additionally, I do find it a little odd that from 10-11AM has been pushed by experts and thought leaders.

But exactly one email was sent.

It really does not make sense, but it does present a new opportunity for your email newsletter to shine.

3. Never between 6-7PM

After carefully counting on both of my hands I was able to determine the worst time to send an email.

This time period was so crowded that more than 10% of all the emails in the study were sent during this hour chunk each day.

That is almost triple what an average hour should have received.

If you have read the graphs above you saw that 6-7 PM got the most emails of any period.

As you can see in the graph above if you decide to send your newsletter in this time period you are going to have some competition.

So I would avoid sending your newsletters during this period based on the jump in competition.

When you compare it to the times we already highlighted above there are 50x more emails during this period.

Even some of the times that got 5x more emails are looking pretty good to me right now.

Unless you want your open rates to plummet from that increased competition I would avoid sending from 6-7PM.

It does kind of make sense why brands would decide to send their weekly email at this time.

Their audience has made it home from their jobs and starting to relax. They should be pretty open to receiving a newsletter about their hobby, interest or activity.

But again, you are brawling in their inbox with a ton of other well-crafted emails for their attention.

Or it will be ignored and rolled into the next morning’s inbox clearing.

4. And avoid after 9PM or before 7AM

One of the easiest ways to fall into that morning deleting spree is to send your email late at night.

Like when your audience is sleeping, so they will see it in the morning.

I never really got the idea behind this practice.

Other than that brands think we want to read about the newest social media marketing tip at 6am.

I know that is the last thing on my mind at that time.

Now if it was an email about coffee being delivered to my bed that would be a different story.

But alas, I saw a ton of companies using this somewhat outdated topic.

We can access our emails at literally any time, the novelty of waking up to news or a newsletter no longer exists.

Or it is so far down the list in their inbox, they will never even see it.

Between 9PM and 7PM more than 60% of all emails in the study were sent.

With nearly 40% of them were sent between 9PM and 2AM. Or about double of what should have been sent if all things were equal.

That is a lot of emails your newsletter is going to be fighting.

Plus your audience is most likely not even awake, and the people who are up at that time probably don’t want to read your newsletter at that moment.

That means, you guessed it, that it will be put off until the next morning.

From there it goes right into the morning delete spree or simply forgotten about.

And all your hard work on the newsletter goes ignored.

Do not let your content be wasted because you chose the wrong time to send a great email.

5. Wednesdays & Saturdays Have Potential

Just like in the previous sections you are going to want to pick a day that has the least competition.

By sending your email on a day like this it is going to stand out like a beacon of good content.

The best day to send your email is Wednesday, with Saturday coming in at a close second.

As you can see they were some of the days to receive the least emails overall.

In our own tests we have seen Wednesday perform well, with some newsletters getting double the open rate of previous days.

I think that Wednesday is the perfect day to send your email newsletter.

Especially if your newsletter is related to their job or work.

They will feel a lot less guilty about losing themselves in your content for a few minutes.

Plus if it is really amazing they will want to share it with their coworkers!

And that means that if your topic deals with a fun hobby or interest I would send it on a Saturday.

Your audience will a lot more receptive to reading about something they could do later that day.

Or they will have a lot more time to absorb all of your fantastic content.

Either way both of these days are a great point to start testing to find what your own best day!

Before we go on I think it is important to highlight why I did not select Sunday as the best day.

I really think that it is too much of a wildcard day and the email could be lost in the shuffle of that day.

Then it gets pushed into the Monday morning mass inbox cleaning.

And although you may have loved to read the content you just don’t have time to.

This has happened to me too many times to count and I am guessing many people can relate.

6. Thursdays are the Worst Day to Send

Finding the best day to send an email was a little difficult and not very straightforward.

Thankfully the worst day was a lot easier to find.

And that day was Thursday.

It received more than double the amount of emails when compared to Wednesday and Saturday.

Exactly 25% of all the emails were sent on a Thursday, with no other days really coming close.

That put it well above the 70 or so emails I received per day on average.

Some experts proclaiming that Tuesday and Thursday are the best days to send a newsletter probably cause this.

I am guessing that people have been blindly following this advice for the past few years.

And now we are in a situation where the best day to send an email has actually become the worst day.

Conclusion

So there you have it, the best and worst times for you to send an email newsletter!

I now need to go click unsubscribe on about 100 different emails.

Or I may just cut my losses with that email address from now on.

But that sacrifice of an email address was definitely worth it because I was able to get some interesting findings.

Those findings will hopefully keep you from sending an email newsletter at the wrong time or day.

Just remember:

Send newsletters during these time blocks: 11-12 PM, 1-2 PM & 2-3 PM.

Between 9 and 11 AM is another great block of time.

If your newsletter is related to their job, send it during the workday.

Do not send newsletters at peak work movement hours, like 8 AM and 5 PM.

Emails sent during the night or early mornings are a bad idea.

Thursday is the worst day to send an email.

Mondays and Fridays should be avoided as well.

But the best day to send a newsletter is on Wednesday.

And finally, it is important to remember to test all of these findings with your audience first. These tips should always be used a testing points for your new emails, not set in stone facts.

About Kissmetrics

Kissmetrics combines behavioral analytics with email automation. Our software tracks actions of your users across multiple devices allowing you to analyze, segment and engage your customers with automatic, behavior-based emails in one place. We call it Customer Engagement Automation. Get, keep and grow more customers with Kissmetrics.

    About the Author: Ryan McCready went to the University of Arkansas and graduated with a degree in economics and international business. Now instead of studying the economy he writes about everything and enjoys stirring the pot.

from Search Results for “analytics” – The Kissmetrics Marketing Blog http://ift.tt/2jJHMq9 #Digital #Analytics #Website

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6 Tips For Sending Your Email Newsletter At The Right Time

Have you ever noticed that it seems like every single company seems to send their email newsletter at the same time?

Usually they’re sent very late at night or extra early in the morning.

Which is, funny enough, when most of their audience is sleeping, so we wake up with an overstuffed inbox each morning.

I am guessing that you have also run into this somewhat minor annoyance.

But it literally is one of my biggest pet peeves.

If you are like me, the deleting of most of these newsletters has become part of your morning ritual.

It is pretty refreshing to send them all to your trash folder and get back to inbox zero.

I mean I love reading about data driven marketing tips but not at 7 in the morning.

We are constantly plugged into our email accounts with those supercomputers we call phones.

The days when you would check your email once in the morning and once at night is over.

But, alas, some companies still seem to be sticking to that email schedule.

This strategy is as outdated as that jewel colored iMac or Gateway computer sitting in your basement.

And all the effort you put into great content will be wasted if you pick the wrong time to send.

So I set out to find when the best time to send an email newsletter is, in the most scientific way ever, by signing up for 100 different newsletters and recording all of their send times.

1. Send it from 11-12PM, 1-2PM, or 2-3PM

If you were looking for the best time to send an email I would recommend selecting a time where there is little competition.

Like a time when almost no emails are being sent.

I mean why would you want your newsletter competing for your audience’s attention with a bunch of other emails?

That is just a recipe for low open rates and a drop in subscribers.

So to avoid that I would shoot for a period when no other emails are sent.

In fact, from 11-12PM, 1-2PM and 2-3PM not a single email was sent in our study.

Like not a single one:

Now you may be asking what is the best chunk of time out of those three periods?

And I would have to say that 2-3PM has the most potential.

From 11-12PM and 1-2PM are too close to the lunch hour and could get lost in the shuffle.

Unless your newsletter deals with a fun topic that they would want to read about on that break, I would avoid those two.

Instead try from 2-3PM.

Your audience will most likely be back from lunch by then and feeling a bit recharged.

They have already cleared their emails from the morning and are maybe looking for a little procrastination opportunity.

And boom, your email newsletter is there to help them out.

2. Or from 10-11AM

Now if you don’t want to be the only one sending an email during a certain time period, I have a perfect time for you.

This is another period where almost zero email newsletters were sent out in our study. In fact there were only one email sent out in that whole time period.

And I think that your email can handle a little competition.

This period happens to be from 10-11AM.

As you can see in the graph above there were a few other periods when only a few emails were sent.

But I do not think that they will be as fruitful as from 10-11AM.

For example, from 9-10AM is when a lot of people’s workday starts and 4-5PM is when it usually ends.

That means you are going to be fighting a lot more for their attention than just a few emails.

So to avoid these outside distractions I would choose from 10-11AM.

By then your readers will be settled into their desk, the coffee has kicked in and they are probably at inbox zero.

It is almost a perfect time for an interesting newsletter to pop up in their mailbox.

Additionally, I do find it a little odd that from 10-11AM has been pushed by experts and thought leaders.

But exactly one email was sent.

It really does not make sense, but it does present a new opportunity for your email newsletter to shine.

3. Never between 6-7PM

After carefully counting on both of my hands I was able to determine the worst time to send an email.

This time period was so crowded that more than 10% of all the emails in the study were sent during this hour chunk each day.

That is almost triple what an average hour should have received.

If you have read the graphs above you saw that 6-7 PM got the most emails of any period.

As you can see in the graph above if you decide to send your newsletter in this time period you are going to have some competition.

So I would avoid sending your newsletters during this period based on the jump in competition.

When you compare it to the times we already highlighted above there are 50x more emails during this period.

Even some of the times that got 5x more emails are looking pretty good to me right now.

Unless you want your open rates to plummet from that increased competition I would avoid sending from 6-7PM.

It does kind of make sense why brands would decide to send their weekly email at this time.

Their audience has made it home from their jobs and starting to relax. They should be pretty open to receiving a newsletter about their hobby, interest or activity.

But again, you are brawling in their inbox with a ton of other well-crafted emails for their attention.

Or it will be ignored and rolled into the next morning’s inbox clearing.

4. And avoid after 9PM or before 7AM

One of the easiest ways to fall into that morning deleting spree is to send your email late at night.

Like when your audience is sleeping, so they will see it in the morning.

I never really got the idea behind this practice.

Other than that brands think we want to read about the newest social media marketing tip at 6am.

I know that is the last thing on my mind at that time.

Now if it was an email about coffee being delivered to my bed that would be a different story.

But alas, I saw a ton of companies using this somewhat outdated topic.

We can access our emails at literally any time, the novelty of waking up to news or a newsletter no longer exists.

Or it is so far down the list in their inbox, they will never even see it.

Between 9PM and 7PM more than 60% of all emails in the study were sent.

With nearly 40% of them were sent between 9PM and 2AM. Or about double of what should have been sent if all things were equal.

That is a lot of emails your newsletter is going to be fighting.

Plus your audience is most likely not even awake, and the people who are up at that time probably don’t want to read your newsletter at that moment.

That means, you guessed it, that it will be put off until the next morning.

From there it goes right into the morning delete spree or simply forgotten about.

And all your hard work on the newsletter goes ignored.

Do not let your content be wasted because you chose the wrong time to send a great email.

5. Wednesdays & Saturdays Have Potential

Just like in the previous sections you are going to want to pick a day that has the least competition.

By sending your email on a day like this it is going to stand out like a beacon of good content.

The best day to send your email is Wednesday, with Saturday coming in at a close second.

As you can see they were some of the days to receive the least emails overall.

In our own tests we have seen Wednesday perform well, with some newsletters getting double the open rate of previous days.

I think that Wednesday is the perfect day to send your email newsletter.

Especially if your newsletter is related to their job or work.

They will feel a lot less guilty about losing themselves in your content for a few minutes.

Plus if it is really amazing they will want to share it with their coworkers!

And that means that if your topic deals with a fun hobby or interest I would send it on a Saturday.

Your audience will a lot more receptive to reading about something they could do later that day.

Or they will have a lot more time to absorb all of your fantastic content.

Either way both of these days are a great point to start testing to find what your own best day!

Before we go on I think it is important to highlight why I did not select Sunday as the best day.

I really think that it is too much of a wildcard day and the email could be lost in the shuffle of that day.

Then it gets pushed into the Monday morning mass inbox cleaning.

And although you may have loved to read the content you just don’t have time to.

This has happened to me too many times to count and I am guessing many people can relate.

6. Thursdays are the Worst Day to Send

Finding the best day to send an email was a little difficult and not very straightforward.

Thankfully the worst day was a lot easier to find.

And that day was Thursday.

It received more than double the amount of emails when compared to Wednesday and Saturday.

Exactly 25% of all the emails were sent on a Thursday, with no other days really coming close.

That put it well above the 70 or so emails I received per day on average.

Some experts proclaiming that Tuesday and Thursday are the best days to send a newsletter probably cause this.

I am guessing that people have been blindly following this advice for the past few years.

And now we are in a situation where the best day to send an email has actually become the worst day.

Conclusion

So there you have it, the best and worst times for you to send an email newsletter!

I now need to go click unsubscribe on about 100 different emails.

Or I may just cut my losses with that email address from now on.

But that sacrifice of an email address was definitely worth it because I was able to get some interesting findings.

Those findings will hopefully keep you from sending an email newsletter at the wrong time or day.

Just remember:

Send newsletters during these time blocks: 11-12 PM, 1-2 PM & 2-3 PM.

Between 9 and 11 AM is another great block of time.

If your newsletter is related to their job, send it during the workday.

Do not send newsletters at peak work movement hours, like 8 AM and 5 PM.

Emails sent during the night or early mornings are a bad idea.

Thursday is the worst day to send an email.

Mondays and Fridays should be avoided as well.

But the best day to send a newsletter is on Wednesday.

And finally, it is important to remember to test all of these findings with your audience first. These tips should always be used a testing points for your new emails, not set in stone facts.

About Kissmetrics

Kissmetrics combines behavioral analytics with email automation. Our software tracks actions of your users across multiple devices allowing you to analyze, segment and engage your customers with automatic, behavior-based emails in one place. We call it Customer Engagement Automation. Get, keep and grow more customers with Kissmetrics.

    About the Author: Ryan McCready went to the University of Arkansas and graduated with a degree in economics and international business. Now instead of studying the economy he writes about everything and enjoys stirring the pot.

http://ift.tt/2jKi98t from MarketingRSS http://ift.tt/2hJD9Iw via Youtube