#It's been happening for years..new dream every time too it's crazy
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max-nicoxposts · 3 months ago
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I understand why so many people have religious psychosis. It's so easy to just believe it. I'm already psychotic and I have nightmares where some sort of heavenly body touches me, most of the time punishing me for something, and I wake up with sleep paralysis every time. For some reason. Whhhyyy is that happening ??
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talaok · 1 month ago
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Acting Normal
Pairing: Javier Peña x fem!reader
Summary: Javi’s been thinking about that night every minute of every day, while you're acting like it never even happened, and if he doesn't do something about it, he's gonna lose his mind.
warnings: smut| fingering, protected p in v sex, dirty talk, javi being a simp, sex in the workplace, (it's not public but there's a possibility of getting caught)
a/n: I already know what to write for part 3, this couple is my new obsession lol
This is a part 2 to this story, but it can be read alone
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Javi
This was really important stuff
He was really supposed to be listening
He was paid to listen to it,
that's what he kept repeating himself,
and yet- yet if someone asked him to repeat whatever Carillo was saying, he couldn't have spit out one singular word.
But it wasn't his fault, not really.
You must have been doing it on purpose, there was no way you were doing all that just accidentally.
Your lips were wrapped around the lollipop in a way that left nothing to the imagination- he could feel those lips on him, he knew how soft and sweet they were from kissing them, but around him... oh they would feel even sweeter, he was sure-
"If you're not gonna listen to me then why am I even here?"
It took Javier much too long to realize what Carillo had said
"I'm listening" he stated with enough confidence to fool anyone- except he was talking to one of the few people that could see right through his bullshit.
"I'm surprised you haven't done it yet" the Colonel shook his head, blowing out a cloud of smoke "I thought she would have given in by now"
"I don't know what you're talking about"
Carillo couldn't help but laugh.
"You've been obsessed with her since she first arrived"
Javier hadn't even noticed that his gaze was back on you... or that his colleague had spoken again.
"yeah," Carillo chuckled, patting Javi's back "I'll just talk to Murphy"
And that was that, Carillo was gone, and Peña was left at a desk at the corner of the room, staring at you with the intensity with which a lion watches a gazelle.
He didn't know what the fuck to do.
To be completely honest with himself, he'd made a fucking mess.
He'd always been attracted to you, I mean there's not much of you that any man could find not hot, and sure, he'd spent about a year flirting with you as you rolled your eyes at him... but that's just how he was- he never thought it'd ever actually happen- and now...
Now he was fucked
You seemed so incredibly normal around him, like that night a week ago had been just a perfect dream, while him- fuck he couldn't even look at you without picturing how perfect you looked from between your tighs.
He'd thought he could manage to just do it that one time, to get it out of his system... what a stupid fucking bastard- he'd only made everything ten times worse.
And the worst part was that you didn't seem affected by it, not even a little bit- like now, there you were, looking all concentrated and everything, your brows furrowed, your bare legs crossed, one of them swinging ever so often, and your lips... your lips wrapped around the candy were an image sent straight from heaven.
Fuck- he was half fucking hard just by looking at you.
He needed to do something- now- or he was gonna go fucking crazy.
__ __ __
"can I have a talk with you for a moment?"
He was leaning over your desk, not doing a great job of masking his desire.
You, on the other hand, hadn't even looked up from the paper before you.
"what's up?"
what's up?
He'd made you squirt on your boss' desk for fuck's sake, and you tell him what's up??
"Just something I think you could help me out with, in the evidence room"
"now?" you winced, finally looking at him
"Yeah now"
__ __ __
"so what is it? did they misplace a file again-"
"How are you acting so normal?"
A gasp fled your mouth as you turned around and found him but an inch from you
"Jesus" you breathed "what are you talking about?"
"and who even eats lollipops past the age of five?"
He took a step closer and you took a step back, only for your back to hit the wall.
He'd cornered you.
"what is going on with you?" you hissed, only for him to take another slow step, and place his hand on the wall, right next to your head
"you, that's what's going on with me" his breath was fanning over your mouth, images of last week's night flashing both your minds "I've had the best sex of my life with you, and you're acting like it was just another Tuesday night"
"I-"
"I can still taste you on my tongue, I can still feel you around me, and you look at me like I'm nothing more than a fucking colleague y/n"
"Javier-"
"And then" he chuckled darkly, interrupting you once again "and then you have the nerve to suck on a fucking lollipop right in front me-"
A soft laugh couldn't help but bubble up your throat at that.
"Did that seriously... turn you on?"
"So what if it did?" he purred, his left hand finding your waist and forcing you off the wall and flush against him, against the blatant proof of his arousal.
You gasped, your hands clutching the shirt covering his chest.
"you're worse than a hormonal teenager"
His eyes sparked with malice as he bent down, his mouth skimming your mouth and cheeks, leaving shivers in his passage, until he pressed his lips right below your ear.
"A hormonal teen that made you squirt for the first time in your life"
"Javier-" your voice had already reduced to a thread of a whimper.
Fuck him and his irresistible sex appeal.
He was right, no one had ever made you feel as good as he had, and as much as he thought you weren't affected by that knowledge, he'd be shocked to find out how difficult it proved not to squirm every time he merely looked at you.
Yes, of course you were constantly thinking about that night too.
"Tell me you don't think about it"
He was like a mind reader
You stayed silent, conscious that any response you could give would inevitably give you away.
"That's what I thought" A snicker rumbled from his chest, his hand moving from your waist to slide underneath the hem of your skirt.
You hummed, your brain only half functioning as he continued to trail hot wet kisses down your throat.
"W-what are you doing?" you tried to speak normally without success.
"what does it look like I'm doing?" he smirked, his hand now fully cupping your clothed core, making you whine "What I've been thinking of doing for a whole damn week- so I don't lose my mind"
Two of his fingers were circling the wet spot on your panties when a phone rang from the other room, making your eyes snap open.
What the fuck were you doing?
You were at work- anyone could come in at any moment.
"Javier wait," you said, finally getting your voice back to normal.
"what is it, sweetheart?" from the way his eyes were still a thousand shades darker and blatantly staring at your mouth you could have guessed the danger of being caught didn't trouble him one bit.
"We can't"
He groaned frustratedly then, his head falling between your neck and shoulder
"why not sweetheart?"
"are you serious?" a quick laugh bubbled up your throat "we're at work"
"so?"
"so?" you parroted, only your voice was heightening with exasperation "so anyone could catch us at any given moment"
A soft smirk pulled at his lips, the hand that was still on your wall going to your waist to get you flush against him
"Are you ashamed of me sweetheart?" he teased
"Well, to be completely honest having sex with the biggest slut in Columbia isn't exactly my highest moment"
He feigned a gasp, his hot breath fanning over your own parted mouth
"Me? A slut?"
"yeah, you" You couldn't fight the smile pulling at your lips.
There he was, doing it again- making all your common sense fly out the window with his godforsaken charm.
"c'mon baby, I'll be quick"
And although you didn't want to, you could see yourself starting to consider his proposal.
"that's supposed to convince me?" you arched a brow, an amused smile pulling at your lips
"What, you think I can't make you come quickly?" he purred, his hand going to your ass in a swift move to grab at it.
You bit down a whine "Well I don't know"
"tell me you don't want it" he teased, the fingers on your core starting a torturous path up and down your still-clothed, but unbelievably drenched, slit "That you don't want this"
His fingers had trespassed your panties and had now found your raw skin, making you gasp
"anyone could come in us, including Messina" you added breathlessly
"I locked the door" he promised, his forehead on yours as his ring and middle finger gently found their way inside of you.
"a-and what if someone needs to get in?" you tried your best not to moan, but the way he curled his fingers made it so very fucking difficult
"then we'll tell them to fuck off" he murmured, his mouth now touching yours, but still not kissing you.
"If we get caught I'm gonna kill you, we clear?"
"yes ma'am" he smirked, his breath mixing with yours
"now- may I kiss you, baby?"
You rolled your eyes before answering "Yes, you may"
And just like that, he was devouring you, his lips crashing with yours and his tongue sliding into your mouth to explore every inch of it, gaining dominance on your own in a matter of seconds.
"fuck I missed this" he groaned, his fingers suddenly speeding up and robbing you of all ability to tease him about his words "these fucking lips are gonna be the death of me"
Your mouth was open as you desperately tried to get oxygen to your lungs, but he didn't care, he took your bottom lip into his mouth and started sucking, his fingers fastening their pace as the filthy sound of your wetness bounced off the walls of the room.
"tell me you thought about it too" he growled, his palm making contact with your clit and forcing you to gasp as your hips started grinding onto it, onto his hand, sparks of pleasure staining your vision. "tell me I'm not the only crazy one baby"
You bit your lip to stifle a moan as you felt yourself grow closer to a release.
"shit- you look so fucking hot when you're about to come"
"I-" your eyes were squeezed shut, but you could feel the heat of his stare on you, the way his eyes never left you, not even as he kissed your neck, the soft stubble of his mustache tickling your skin "I've thought about it too javi"
The satisfied groan he let out told you just about everything you needed to know.
"When?" he asked, his voice hoarse, his fingers relentless
"A-always" you whimpered, "e-everytime I look at you"
shit- maybe you shouldn't have said that
"yeah?" a wolfish grin tugged at his lips "You think about me? about my cock? my fingers? my tongue?"
You mewled at his words, at the memory they brought with them, at how fucking good he was making you feel-
"J-Javi please"
"what?" he breathed, his mouth on yours again, your hips grinding shamelessly onto his hand "You're gonna come baby, 's that it?"
"y-yeah- fuck- I-"
he knew the signs by now, he knew those desperate breathless sounds you made just as you reached your peak- and god did he fucking love them
"come for me- come baby" he murmured, his lips crushing with yours to stifle your moans just as your walls spasmed around his digits- wave after wave of pleasure coursing through your body.
Oh how he loved seeing the strong fiery woman he saw every day come apart beneath him, all your walls crumbling down 'till there was just pure lust and pleasure beneath your eyes, 'till your body went limp and clung to him for support.
"fuck" you breathed your eyes finally opening again, only to find that his had never left yours. "I-" you gulped, but his lips were on yours again, his hands holding your face on each side, his fingers now out of you.
"w-we should get back," you said, mostly trying to remind yourself, of where you really were, of what you were really doing... but it was all so difficult when he was looking at you like that- when you could feel his hard cock straining against his jeans- the same one that had felt so fucking good inside of you.
"we should" he agreed, although a twisted grin played on his lips.
he was already kissing you again, exploring you again, and in no time you found yourself caged between him and a shelf filled with boxes of evidence, your legs wrapped around his waist and your arms around his neck.
Damn him
"People are gonna start wondering where we are"
"we're here... looking at evidence," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, his hips grinding onto you, his mouth on the corner of your lips.
"fuck- fine," you murmured, the need for him stronger than anything at this point, even than the fear of getting fired.
He didn't waste a second- his dick was out in a heartbeat, and your panties were pulled to the side before you had even time to breathe.
His tip, his red, glistening tip found your entrance, making you gasp.
"c-condom" you suddenly remembered, your voice so feeble it was almost inaudible "Please tell me you've got a condom"
"fuck- you're right" he muttered, frustration tracing his tone "I should have one in my wallet"
Of course he had one in his wallet
His left hand reached into his back pocket, finding his wallet and taking the condom out of it as quickly as he could, throwing the wallet somewhere to the side.
You were supporting yourself all on your own as he rolled the condom onto his dick, which might sound easy... but seeing the state of your leg it really was a miracle.
It was all so fast, he seemed desperate as he guided his tip to your entrance, as he gripped your waist and kissed your lips while entering you.
He was so fucking big, definitely the biggest one you'd ever encountered, and not only that... but he fucking knew how to use it too.
It was impossible not to moan, and for him, it was impossible not to groan- let's just say the possibility of getting caught wasn't first on the list of things in your mind at the moment.
"fuckfuckfuck" you whimpered, letting out a soft cry when he finally bottomed out
"Jesus Christ you feel fucking perfect" he growled, his eyes on yours, his hands gripping your waist as he tried his best to give you a moment to adjust and not start to fuck you like an animal right away.
"J-Javi"
And that, that little plead in your voice was all he needed to hear.
There was no way the sound of your skin slapping with his couldn't be heard from outside.
He felt so fucking good- criminally so.
"oh my g-" you had to bite down on something, and the little sliver of skin his shirt didn't cover right where his shoulder met his neck seemed much too perfect for your need.
He groaned, the bastard fucking groaned in pleasure as your teeth sank down into his skin, and you swore to god you could have come from that sound alone.
Your hands were laced between his neck, fingers taking hold of whatever hair you could grab, as he thrust up into you like a man starved, and you did all you could to meet his movements with the same urgency.
It had only been a week, and yet it felt like it'd been an eternity- a torturous, awful eternity of daying yourself of this.
"been thinking about this every fucking minute this week" his voice was breathy, hoarse, as he whispered to your ear "about this perfect fucking pussy of yours- about your mouth, about how- Fuck me-" his own growl interrupted him, your walls were squeezing him much too fucking tight "how good you taste, how hot you look when I'm eating you out- about this fucking perfect body of yours" he purred "Jesus christ you make me lose my mind"
You couldn't help but moan, moan at his words, at his pace, at the way his touch sent sparks flying in your belly- it was all too much.
"You've gotta be quiet baby" he murmured as you raised your head to look at him, to beg him for something- anything.
"I know sweetheart, I know" he breathed, his lips skimming yours "I know issa lot"
And to think you couldn't even stand him seven days ago... look at you now- looking into his eyes pleadingly as he fucked you in the evidence room.
"Javi" you could only breathe as his mouth crashed with yours once again, "I'm gonna-"
"I know"
Of course he knew
And just like that, you were over the edge, his tongue in your mouth muffling your cries as his thrust got more erratic, and somehow even more powerful.
Once again, he'd given you the best orgasm of your life.
He tried to hold off to let you ride it out, but fuck him it was proving to be real fucking difficult.
And then you opened your eyes- your beautiful, dreamy, eyes that he'd been dreaming of for days and there was no point in fighting it anymore-
"F-fuck y/n- fuck-"
There was a loud thud somewhere behind you, but neither of you cared enough to look, or god forbid stop- there was only you, you, and the spectacular groan Javier fed you into a kiss as he finally reached his climax.
There was only the sound of your breathing, both your heavy breathings as you looked at each other- and then you smiled, and he couldn't help but do the same.
And then all of the sudden the sounds from the office started flowing into the room again.
Oh right
"we really have to get back"
"yeah" he halfheartedly agreed, slowly setting you back on your feet, only in doing so, something caught your eye.
"fuck"
There were files on the floor- there were files on the floor because you'd knocked down some of the boxes of evidence- and you hadn't even noticed.
Javier followed your line of sight, but while panic was setting in your heart, he began to smile
"don't laugh!" you hissed, "what the fuck do we do? How do we explain this?"
"we don't" he simply shrugged, closing his zipper back up as you quickly tried to make yourself presentable.
"What?"
"we were never here- now, get back out there"
"I-"
"trust me" he said, retrieving his wallet from the floor.
And for some fucking reason, you did- you trusted him.
"I hate you so much" you muttered, finally exiting the room.
Tg:@fallout-girl219
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moonlinos · 9 months ago
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It would’ve been sweet if it could’ve been me
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♡ Pairing: Bang Chan × fem!reader
♡ Genre: Single dad!Chan, friends to strangers to lovers
♡ CW: Explicit sexual content (minors dni!), mentions of parental guilt, themes of loneliness, Chan is stuck in the past, lying, mentions of feeling lost in life, story spans over a number of years, nipple play, oral sex (male receiving), unprotected sex, creampie
♡ Word count: 8.2k
♡ Synopsis: Being a single dad to Hyerin is all Chan has known for the past four years. He and his ex-girlfriend reached an agreement that saw her going off to live a life she had always dreamed of while he was left with a life of loneliness, which he endured with a smile on his face for his daughter. A small gleam of hope seems to appear in his life in the shape of you. But hiding himself under a haze of lies seems to be his only option if he ever wants to keep you.
♡ A/N: Based off a request by anon! Thank you for requesting, this was so much fun to write 🩷 I will admit this is a lot more focused on Chan as a character than I originally wanted it to be, and I kinda went a bit crazy with the plot, but I hope you still like it! The song Chan sings to Hyerin is Little Star by Standing Egg 💗
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Every day in Chan’s life is a monotonous, never-ending cycle. Like watching reruns of bad TV shows on gloomy Sunday nights, every second of his past and upcoming days is etched into his mind like a quilt of mundane tasks and repetitive moments.
But that wasn’t always the case.
Once, excitement filled his every waking moment. His weekends were a whirlwind of new places teeming with bustling crowds and unfamiliar faces who became fast friends. During his university years, he and his friends lived their lives with ardor, savoring every moment as if it could be their last. His days were filled with an array of unplanned parties and impromptu trips which brought a kaleidoscope of color to his life.
Until he met Dana.
He was about to graduate, and she swept into his life like a hurricane — flipping everything upside down before disappearing just as quickly, with only destruction and ashes remaining in her wake.
He was infatuated; she was bored. That was clear from the start, but Chan was too blinded by affection to be concerned with such a minute detail. So long as he got to have her by his side, he was happy. Their relationship lasted a year, yet it changed his life forever.
He was twenty-one when Dana announced her pregnancy. On his twenty-second birthday, she told him she didn’t want to be a mother.
By that point in his life, Chan had already forsaken everything he had for her. He turned his back on his old friends, the vibrant life he once led, and everything that once made him who he was. Without Dana, he would be left with nothing but the ugly reflection of his self-destructive choices made in the name of a loveless love.
And so, they came to an agreement. Dana would leave — that had been her plan from the start, anyway — but she would leave Chan with a small piece of their story.
Hyerin was born on November 20th, 2019.
Dana left on a plane to New York City on December 1st.
Now, the only speck of color in his life is Hyerin. In the four years Chan has been lucky enough to be her dad, he has found she is much more than simply a reminder of Dana or what could have been between them. Hyerin is his entire world. She is the love he’s unknowingly been searching for his whole life, and he would sacrifice every last bit of himself to make sure she only ever knows happiness.
They live a quiet life, with Chan working a less-than-fulfilling corporate job and spending all his free time with her. He sometimes allows himself to wonder what happened to his old friends — did they all eventually settle for the mundanity of adult life, or are they still chasing an endless thrill? But he never dwells on it too much. The sweet memories of his early twenties are now nothing more than a comforting escape when the weight of loneliness becomes too overwhelming.
Today is one of those days. A late Friday night after his shift, Chan sprawled on his couch with Jisung, a co-worker who became his first friend after many years, a silly smile on his face as he reminisced about a trip to Jeju in his sophomore year of college. This is how he lives most of his life; when he’s not in the present with Hyerin, he’s stuck in the past.
How could he not be stuck in the past? So many people he loved and memories he cherished were there.
“I don’t get how you just left all of that behind for someone,” Jisung scoffs, loosening his tie. “Why couldn’t she just join your group of friends?”
“It’s complicated,” Chan sighs, eyes wandering toward Hyerin’s bedroom door for the umpteenth time to make sure she’s still sleeping soundly. When he turns to look back at Jisung, his expression prompts him to elaborate. “What? You want the whole story?”
Jisung shrugs. “It’s not like we have any other plans for tonight.”
“Well, there was this girl in my friend group. We hooked up a lot, but our relationship went beyond that,” Chan explains, fingers tapping his thighs as the memories flood his mind. It was a sore topic, one he certainly didn’t enjoy remembering. “We never dated, but Dana was jealous, and I couldn’t blame her. Me and this girl were… very close. I couldn’t be in a relationship while also being that close to her, but I also couldn’t imagine us being only friends. So it was easier to walk away.”
Chan conveniently leaves out the fact that he walked away because an artificial love strangely provided solace for his heart, unlike the searing torment of unrequited love, which engulfed him like molten lava.
“And that was the last time you ever had that type of relationship with anyone?”
“With Dana? Yeah—”
“Hyung, you know what I mean. You told me yourself Dana didn’t love you,” Jisung points out. “I mean this other girl.”
Chan shrugs dismissively. “I guess, yeah. Doesn’t matter, though.”
And Jisung scoffs loudly at his words, rubbing his forehead with a sigh. Memories of that love flood Chan’s mind, and he's ready to let them sweep him away when Jisung abruptly turns so he sits facing him, resolve swimming in his eyes.
“Give me your phone,” his loud voice reverberates through the small apartment, prompting Chan to shush him with a stern look. “Give me your phone,” Jisung repeats himself with a harsh whisper.
Chan rolls his eyes but ultimately smiles at his friend. He retrieves his phone from the end table, handing it to a much too enthusiastic Jisung. “The password is Hyerin’s birthday,” he tells him, albeit a bit apprehensive.
He watches amusedly as Jisung types away at his own phone before doing the same on his, handing him the device with a grin tugging at the corner of his lips.
“What did you do, you little menace?” Chan questions the younger boy, narrowing his eyes. Jisung simply shrugs.
“I got you a date tomorrow. Thank me later.”
Chan immediately sits up on the couch, eyes darting toward his phone screen. A chat with a single message from him to an unknown contact makes him question his entire friendship with Jisung.
Me: I’m your date for tomorrow 😉 Me: O’neul restaurant, 6 pm. See you there, cutie
“Jisung, what the fuck?”
“What?” His friend asks between giggles. “Sora has this friend she said desperately needs a date, and I have you in the same situation,” he explains, clearly proud of himself. “I just did you both a favor while also getting boyfriend points.”
Chan’s eyes shift toward his phone once more, inwardly cringing at the messages with a heavy sigh.
“And was making me sound this creepy necessary?”
Jisung waves his hand dismissively. “Nah, that was just a little treat for me.”
“And why the fuck is her name Mystery Girl?” Chan queries, the irritation making him unknowingly raise his voice.
“It’s a blind date,” his friend explains. “This girl’s apparently super picky, kept turning down every guy Sora suggested. So, she came up with this solution. Can’t turn you down if she doesn’t know what you look like.”
Chan groans, ultimately sinking back onto the couch with a defeated sigh. Jisung was trying to be a good friend, he knew that, but he wasn’t at all thrilled with the prospect of a date. Not only did he not want one, but he also had no time for such a futile thing. He had Hyerin, and she was the sole reason for his existence. He didn’t need anyone meddling in their little world. But he didn’t have the courage to tell Jisung that.
It would be a lie to say the past four years weren’t lonesome. Falling asleep alone in a cold, empty bed was a sorrow he had simply grown numb to. Yet, he still yearned to have someone to share the grapples of routine life with, someone whose presence alone would effortlessly diminish his worries, someone he could make love to before falling asleep and waking up intertwined.
But he couldn’t afford to have that.
At least this date was bound to fail; the woman’s demanding nature, coupled with Chan’s unwillingness to even be there in the first place sure to make their wasted time brief.
Just as he’s about to grumble about the messages again, Hyerin comes stumbling out of her room, her small feet shuffling against the floor as she rubs her sleepy eyes.
“Oh, honey, were we being too loud?” Chan asks sweetly, and his eyes discreetly shoot daggers at Jisung, who mouths an apology.
Hyerin firmly shakes her head, the crooked pigtails Chan clumsily had tied this morning coming undone as she does so. He smiles at her, propping his elbows on his knees and waiting for her to speak her little mind.
“I had a dream,” she mumbles. “With a dragon.”
Chan gasps, hands wrapping around her tiny frame and picking her up before walking toward her room. It took him some time, but he ultimately learned that it’s best to ease her back into bed while she’s distracted, lest she throws a tantrum.
“And was it a nice dragon?” He asks. Hyerin giggles, and Chan is positive that the sound has the power to light up even his most somber days.
“Of course it was a nice dragon, daddy,” she tells him. “You said I only have nice dreams ‘cause my mind is pretty, remember?”
Chan nods as he gently tucks her back into bed, triple-checking that she is comfortable and warm. “Of course, of course. How could I forget?” He slaps a hand on his forehead with a sigh. “Hyerinnie has the prettiest mind. It can only make up pretty things.”
Hyerin smiles at him, tugging her blanket close to her chin, her doe eyes already heavy with sleep and blinking languidly. Chan asks her the same question he does every night, although the answer remains unchanging every time: would she like him to sing to her? She drowsily tells him she wants to hear him sing her favorite song, Little Star.
Chan promptly gets under the covers beside her — Hyerin pouting and whining about how he’s stealing her blanket for himself, to which he can’t help the hearty laugh that escapes his lips. Since turning four, she’s developed quite a strong personality that Chan soon finds he adores, much like everything about her.
He turns on his side to watch her features as he sings; her nose and mouth so similar to his, and the way she furrows her brows while falling asleep mirrors his own habits. Chan might not be a happy man in his job or his personal life, but the boundless happiness his little gift provides him surpasses anything else he could wish for. Every now and then, he finds himself wanting more, but it’s not long before he realizes he already has everything he needs.
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Chan goes over his rather extensive list of how to care for Hyerin with Jisung for the tenth time that evening, making sure the younger man knows what to do in any situation that could arise in the couple hours he’ll be gone. Hyerin is the one to usher him out of the apartment, assuring him she’ll be fine with her uncle Han, and Chan has to stop himself from wallowing over the fact that his once tiny baby is rapidly blossoming into a young kid.
He made no real effort to dress for his date; a simple button-up shirt and jeans served him just fine, seeing as he plans to return home as soon as possible. His date and he haven’t talked much at all since his initial texts yesterday, texting each other only to confirm the time and place of their basically forced date.
He arrives fifteen minutes late, all but running from the bus stop to the restaurant while cursing Jisung under his breath. This was definitely not worth the hassle, and Chan wanted nothing more than to be back at home with his daughter. He’d pick watching Tangled with her for the hundredth time over an unwanted date in a heartbeat.
Chan finally walks into the restaurant, informing the waiter that he’s there to meet Cherry. His face visibly grimaces as he mutters the words. Fuck this blind date bullshit.
He’s led to his table, dragging his feet behind the waiter. His attention is immediately drawn to the pencil holding his date’s messy ponytail together. He chuckles quietly, circling around the table and forcing out a smile to introduce himself.
But then he’s met with a sight he had long given up hope of ever seeing again: you.
You, who were next to him as he made stupid decisions during college. Like when he drunkenly thought it wise to bet his laptop in a game of beer pong.
You, who always made him your special hangover soup after a party. He especially loved it when you let him keep the leftovers, knowing that he and his roommate were hopeless in the kitchen.
You, who filled the space in his cold sheets with warmth and always made his bed feel like a sanctuary.
You, who let him make love to you despite you both swearing to be only friends.
You, who later had to watch him walk away from you like a coward, driven by sheer fear.
You, staring back at him with a stunned look on your face.
“Chan?” You ask, an unsure lilt to your words.
And Chan embarrassingly fumbles over his words, his tongue tying itself into knots in front of you. He notices you pursing your lips to stop from giggling and clears his throat a bit too loudly, a few patrons turning their heads to look at him. But he can’t bring himself to care, not when it seems the universe has turned the wheels of his fate in his favor for once.
“Uh, hi,” is all his brain can muster among the jumble of thoughts inside his head. He mentally berates himself for acting so damn awkward when you’re clearly not as affected by this encounter as he is.
“Damn, it’s been so long,” you marvel, eyes not leaving his face for a second. “I thought you moved to a different country or something. It’s so strange how we never ran into each other.”
Chan forces out a chuckle, hands now fiddling with the menu on the table. Of course you two never ran into each other; he only ever leaves the house for work or when he has to accompany Hyerin, and he doubts you frequent playgrounds or zoos.
“Yeah, I… don’t go out much anymore,” he simply says.
You hum, and he properly takes in your appearance. You haven’t changed one bit; from your hair to your choice of clothes, you’re still the same girl who ruled over his every thought during college.
You two order your food and fall into an infuriating cycle of small talk. Chan doesn’t want to talk about the weather or if you have seen the latest movie yet — he’s desperate to ask you how you’ve been, if you ever pursued your dreams, if you can still outdrink anyone in your friend group, and—
And if you’re still single because you find relationships a hassle.
But as the food arrives, you fall into an even more frustrating cycle: silence. Chan feels restless, squirming in his seat every few minutes while you calmly eat and watch the people around you. He remembers your habit of scanning crowded rooms and making up stories for strangers with your vivid imagination. He wants to ask if you still do that, but it seems he’s only grown into more of a coward since your last encounter.
You’re the first to break the silence, waiting for the waiter to leave with your plates to ask what Chan has been doing since graduating. It’s a casual question with no weight to your words, as lighthearted as you have always been. And the complete opposite of his every possible answer.
How can he tell you he’s given up music altogether, now surrounded by gray walls and lifeless faces in his corporate job? How can he tell you he’s alone most of the time, partly by choice and partly because he doesn’t know how to dig himself out of this comfortable hole he’s trapped himself in?
How can he possibly explain that he agreed to be a single father, sacrificing his own happiness for the selfish whims of a woman who never even loved him?
You’re still the same; the same carefree eyes and attitude, same easygoing approach to everything life throws your way — such as meeting him again after years.
All of him has changed.
Chan can’t tarnish your colorful life, can’t sit before you and spill out his problems or grumble about the overwhelming loneliness in his life when he knows damn well that was a consequence of his own choices.
He wants nothing more than to be the same Chan he was in college. Creating life stories for strangers in dive bars with you, not caring about whether he’ll have enough money to pay the water bill next month, not having to bear the burden of something as precious as a human life depending solely on him.
It’s selfish, but he wants nothing more than to go back.
So he does.
“I actually still write songs, though it’s only a freelance thing,” he lies. He hasn’t written a single note in years. “Other than that, I’ve just been taking it day by day. Same as I’ve always done, I guess.”
And your eyes immediately light up — you’ve always loved his songs, after all. Your conversation flows much like it used to in the past after that, with you making witty jokes and Chan laughing loudly at them. You tell him you started working as an art teacher for the elderly when living off of commissions became impossible, and that you adore the stories they share about their younger years. They remind you of your own stories together, you admit with a genuine smile.
Your conversation is endless, continuing even as Chan walks you to your car in the empty parking lot. The night has grown colder, and the crescent moon gleaming in the sky above him almost feels like a sign that things will change for the better.
As you two stand in front of your car, a smile tugs at the corner of your lips. Ever the free soul, you ask him outright if he would like to come back to your place. There are no further implications hidden in your request beyond a hookup. Nothing’s ever heavy with you, every little thing always feeling light as a feather.
He says he would love to, but quickly excuses himself under the guise of calling his roommate about the spare key. Chan hurriedly calls Jisung as soon as he turns a corner in the parking lot, ensuring you won’t be able to hear him. It’s juvenile, the way he’s actually taking pleasure in almost creating a different version of himself — a version much closer to who he was when you were his, at least in some sense of the word. He’s a father, he should be responsible and dependable, but the weight of that role had been thrust upon him far too abruptly. He can’t be faulted for wanting to go back in time.
“Okay, I have no time to explain,” he blurts out as soon as Jisung picks up the phone. “Would it be too much to ask you to stay the night?”
Jisung chuckles at the other end of the line. “Damn, was the date that good?”
Chan ignores his sly comment, because yes, the date was everything he never thought it could be.
“I’ll be back first thing in the morning,” he assures him. “I’ll even pay you if you want. How much—”
“Hey, no need for that,” Jisung cuts him off. “You know I love looking after Hyerin.”
And the pang of guilt inside his chest at the mention of his daughter’s name almost knocks the air out of his lungs. He feels ashamed, as if he’s neglecting his daughter for a hookup, going after a fantasy that has long crumbled and faded away.
“How is she? Is she okay?” He asks, guilt washing over him like a wave. He hadn’t thought of his daughter for a second that entire night. “Did she cry at all? Did she notice I was gone for longer than I promised?”
Jisung calls out his name with a chuckle, prompting him to stop his rambling. “Relax. We painted each other’s nails, she did my makeup, had her dinner, and is now sleeping soundly after listening to another one of uncle Han’s phenomenal stories about frogs,” He details, causing a hearty laugh to fall from Chan’s lips at the image of Jisung’s face painted with Hyerin’s cheap children’s makeup. His friend then adds, “Go get laid, man.”
And so Chan hangs up the phone, all but running toward your figure waiting by your car. You smile at him, taking his hand and pulling him into a tight embrace. It’s the first time he holds you in almost five years, and he feels his dull world away from Hyerin slowly fill up with vibrant hues.
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It takes you less than fifteen minutes to reach your apartment building, and Chan is thanking any higher power that might listen for that. The sheer anticipation of what is implied to happen once you two are alone together has him picking at his cuticles until it stings.
He’s nervous, to put it lightly. A couple of terrible drunken hookups in dingy motels after office gatherings were his only sexual encounters after Hyerin was born.
But once you’re standing in front of him in your living room, your eyes never leaving his even as you’re slipping off your heels, Chan knows you’re both equals in this playing field. 
He’s the one to pull you into a kiss, lips barely grazing against yours. But the feeling of finally kissing you again after so many years was like wildfire, consuming him wholly until the kiss turns feverish. His hand travels from your shoulders to your lower back, pulling you flush against his body. You hum against his lips, fingers clumsily undoing his buckle, and the prospect that you might be as eager as he is has him gripping the fabric of your dress.
Chan swears his vision goes black the moment your fingertips brush against his hardening erection, the feathery touch enough to make him sigh into your mouth.
A hand is pressed to his chest before he has the chance to think, and you’re pushing him backward until his back meets the wall. You immediately drop to your knees in front of him, leaning forward and nuzzling your face against his clothed cock.
“I missed you,” you whisper, hungry eyes looking up at him. “Don’t think I got to say that.”
Chan takes in the sight of you, memorizing and storing it in his mind alongside the countless images he already had of you on his knees for him. His fingers thread in your hair, your lips falling open with a sigh.
“I missed you too,” he professes. You have no idea how much.
With a smile, you quickly work his zipper open, pulling his jeans down his legs and pressing a wet kiss to his clothed erection. Chan feels your tongue lap at his member through his boxers, lips sucking around the head as your nails scrape the flesh of his thighs lightly.
It feels like you mouth at his length for hours, the light gray fabric of his boxers stained with your saliva and his precum, leaving Chan panting and tugging at your hair. You trail soft, wet kisses down his thigh while pushing his boxers out of your way, his cock already swollen and flushed. He’d be embarrassed for the way his body reacted so responsively to you if you weren’t also visibly as affected.
Your tongue circles his length languidly, lapping at a small bead of precum with a hum. Finally wrapping your lips around his tip, your tongue flicks teasingly beneath the head of his cock, Chan sucking in a deep breath and using his grip on your hair as leverage to pull you toward him. You almost obediently drop your jaw to slide his now fully hardened length into your mouth, your hand wrapping around the base as you begin to bob your head up and down his cock. Chan hisses your name when you relax your throat after a few passes, taking him fully into your pretty mouth, your nose brushing his pelvis.
“Fuck, you always looked so pretty like that,” Chan chokes out. “Pretty lips taking me so well.”
You groan at his words and the vibrations traveling along his shaft have Chan growling with a harsh tug of your hair, causing you to sputter as his cock hit the back of your throat. You seek purchase in his hips as tears prick the corner of your eyes. You’re unrelenting nonetheless, circling your tongue around him before pulling away, hands now sliding up his thigh before gently gliding over his balls. As you slowly lick from the base of his shaft all the way up to the sensitive tip, Chan’s gaze shifts down as he catches a glimpse of your thighs rubbing together. He feels himself twitch, and immediately pulls you away from him.
“Don’t wanna come like this, I need to fuck you,” he rasps out.
You stand back up, legs wobbly, and fumble with the buttons of his shirt while he slides your dress down your shoulders. Your movements are messy and filled with urgency, your breaths quickening as you both want nothing more than to strip away any form of barrier between you. Piling up five years of yearning will do that.
As your impatience reaches its peak, you tear open the last remaining buttons of his shirt, your nails grazing his skin as you slide the fabric down his shoulders. A wave of goosebumps travels across Chan’s body, and his hands abandon the task of removing your dress in favor of tracing the curve of your ass before picking you up off the floor.
“First door on the right,” you tell him, your words answering his unspoken thoughts as if you could read his mind. Chan nods, your proximity making it impossible for him not to press his lips to yours, tongue sliding over your bottom lip before licking into your mouth with a low hum.
He collides with a wall, missing the entrance to your bedroom by a hair’s breadth, and you giggle against his lips. Chan smiles back. Nothing’s ever heavy with you.
He lowers you onto the bed gently, his body instinctively slotting between your spread legs the way he did so many times before. You soon also wrap your thighs around his waist as you always did, pulling him closer until his cock is pressed up against your clothed pussy.
“Wanna ride you,” you tell him, grinding your hips forward and eliciting a quiet moan from Chan’s lips as he hastily nods. With a tight grip on your waist, he flips you both effortlessly.
Promptly sitting up on his thighs, you finally rid yourself of the inconvenient fabric of your dress, followed by your bra, your nipples instantly hardening. Chan sits up, eyes transfixed on your chest as his calloused thumbs trace the nubs before his lips circle around one, sucking harshly. As you gently roll your hips, he can feel the way your soaked panties cling to his skin as your core presses up against his thigh.
Your fingers tangle in his hair with a whimper, pushing his face into your breasts as he bites the sensitive skin. His lips leave your nipples with a wet sound, then trailing kisses up the column of your neck until his gaze is locked on yours again. He was dying to mark you, bite and suck on your skin until it blossomed into a beautiful maroon — but he knew better. You weren’t twenty anymore, and you weren’t his; in no sense of the word.
“I’m on the pill,” you tell him, eyes heavy with lust.
And he knows this is a terrible idea. This was exactly how he came to be a father.
But it’s not his mind that’s doing the thinking, and so he nods, his grip on your hips tightening as you pull your soaked panties to the side just enough to slide the swollen tip of his cock against your slick folds. Chan sucks in a breath, fighting a war against his own body not to come from this feeling alone. It wasn’t just how long it had been since he was with someone, it was you. It was all you. The effect you had always had on him having never faded, simply laying dormant until his body had you again.
Chan rests his forehead on yours as you slowly sink down on his length. His lips find your neck again, gently sucking the skin into his mouth as you slowly grind down on him, a whine falling from your lips and going straight to his cock. His hips buck up unwittingly, causing you to moan loudly in his ears. But your slow pace remains, and Chan knows he should savor this moment, but he wants nothing more than to fuck you into the mattress until he forgets every minor issue aggravating his brain.
Such as the fact that he knows you will leave his life again the second you find out he lied to you.
So his hands find your waist and he flips you down onto the mattress once more. His eyes bore into you as you suck in a breath.
“Fuck me,” you plead, hips grinding into his cock again. “I want it, please—”
Chan doesn’t waste another second, retreating only to plunge back harshly into your cunt. He moves with deep strokes, hips falling into an erratic rhythm, your nails digging into his back as your thighs clenched around his waist. All he can hear is static and your choked moans as he presses you into the mattress.
“Missed this so fucking much,” he groans against your ear. And finally succumbing to his desires, he bends down to suck and nibble on the delicate skin of your neck, mind too focused on how your walls squeeze around him to worry about marking you. He laps at the small bruises he leaves behind, your fingers tangling in his hair as you mewl.
You roll your hips, matching his rhythm, and Chan feels a familiar heat rise within him. He reaches down to glide small circles around your clit, your body jolting and squirming. He absentmindedly smiles against your skin.
After an entire night of pretending his life was the same as it was five years ago, fucking you required no acting.
“It’s too much, fuck,” you whimper, tugging him by the hair until your lips are crashing together in a sloppy kiss. Your walls tighten around him, body clenching as the tension finally snaps, your orgasm coursing through your shaking body as Chan growls into your parted lips.
He keeps fucking into you, until his hips meet yours one last time, and a low groan reverberates through the room. His cock twitches inside of you as his body stills, filling you with his warm release which leaked out of you and onto your sheets as he pulled out with a sigh.
Chan throws himself onto the mattress, labored breaths leaving his heavy lungs. He pulls you into his arms, and you melt into his embrace as if it were a habit. It’s as though he’s gone back in time, even if temporarily.
He feels like he’s simply a guy making love with the girl he adores in the familiar comfort of his dorm room again.
When the first rays of sunlight seeped into your room, Chan was already awake. He watched as you slept, eyelids fluttering and a small smile adorning your lips.
It was as if you were his, in every sense of the word.
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Guilt.
That’s what Chan feels every time he sees Hyerin’s laughing face on his phone’s wallpaper when he’s out, entertaining the silly lie he crafted.
It’s been two months since you reconnected and you effortlessly slipped him back into your life. The reunion with his old friends was expected — but Chan dreaded it, regardless. He found that out of the nine people that once comprised their group, only five remained. He wasn’t the only one who had gone his own way.
But he was the only one who had done it in the worst way possible, carelessly ghosting every single one of them, hoping his existence gradually faded from their memories.
That made facing his once best friend frightening. Minho was the first friend he made on the very first day of university, when Chan walked into his dorm room only to find he had snuck his cat into the building.
They were roommates for two years, and best friends for four. Chan complained loudly when he was assigned a new roommate. Minho was silent as he watched his best friend turn his back on him with no explanation.
Minho initially ignored him entirely, and Chan doesn’t fault him. When his vibrant face turned cold upon seeing him walk into a bar, Chan knew he earned that the moment he decided to ignore his friend’s every text message and phone call. When Minho made backhanded remarks about how nice it felt to have him back in their group, he knew he deserved it for not answering the door the only time his friend came looking for him.
It takes a drunken argument leading to a fist colliding with Chan’s cheek for Minho to finally address him. It takes them being escorted out of the bar by security for them to finally have a conversation, tears and resentment flowing freely as they sat at a bus stop late at night. After that, their friendship returned to what it was before, as if they had never been apart even for a second.
Despite the years and the changes, Minho was still his best friend — which was why he was the only person he came clean to.
Hyerin loved Minho, especially his cats. Her new favorite pastime quickly became going over to his house to play with her new ‘friends’, as she called them. And Chan was overwhelmed with happiness to witness his best friend falling under his daughter’s spell — his house now containing its very own box filled with every toy Hyerin mentioned even once, his kitchen stocked with all her favorite foods, and his cats falling asleep beside her anytime they came over to visit.
It was as if he was watching his two worlds collide. His past and present, which he had separated out of a senseless fear, intertwined so effortlessly it made him feel stupid for ever thinking he needed to build this barrier. For assuming the people he loved so much would reject him.
Made him feel even worse for walking away in a futile attempt to protect his feelings, because it only resulted in more hurt.
After so much of his time spent wondering, Chan finally has the answer to his questions. Some of his friends did settle for an ordinary adult life, some already married and some focusing their energy solely on climbing the corporate ladder. Still, some remained relatively unchanged — much like you did.
His social life blossomed again after reconnecting with his old friends. However, he still refused to hire a nanny, too fearful to leave Hyerin to a stranger’s care, resulting in constantly having to come up with excuses when his parents aren’t able to babysit. He won’t deny that he often fabricated these lies purely because staying in with his daughter and watching Tangled now outweighs any appeal of noisy nightclubs.
Jisung remained his salvation whenever he wanted to spend the night at your place, with Chan slowly but surely running out of reasons as to why you can’t go to his apartment for a change. He hasn’t had the heart or the courage to tell you the entire truth yet, only owning up to his lie about his job after you understandably asked him to listen to his new music and he was put on the spot.
Ever since you walked back into his life, he finds himself weaving a web of little white lies that slowly chip away at his heart.
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He’s at a small gathering for his friend’s birthday, listening to Minho all but eulogize his fiancee. They have been a couple since university, Chan playing the wingman and encouraging his friend to finally do something about his crush (mostly because he couldn’t handle any more of Minho’s whining before going to sleep). Despite what everyone around them surmised, they beat all the odds and statistics and stayed together even after university. Chan would be happier about that if he hadn’t bet money on them breaking up before graduation. He wonders if Hongjoong will ask for his twenty bucks now that they’re friends again. 
“No, really, settling down with someone is so good,” Minho says after another shot of Soju, a silly smile etched onto his lips. “I thought I would hate it, y’know? Thought slapping such a significant title on our relationship would wear it down, but it’s the complete opposite. Ever since she proposed, it’s like we’re two love-struck nineteen-year-olds again.”
Chan smiles, saying they should drink to that purely because he hopes the sensation of alcohol burning his throat will numb his overwhelming jealousy. After congratulating Minho for the umpteenth time, he finds himself listening to yet another story about his relationship.
And he’s happy for Minho, just as much as he’s happy for Wonwoo for getting married last year. He couldn’t express the overwhelming joy he felt upon discovering these people, who once meant so much to him, had successfully navigated their way through life. But envy rears its ugly head every time he listens to one of their stories, because Chan’s direction in life seems to be a winding road. He’s a father, and his love for Hyerin is immeasurable, but he’s still actively lying about this side of him simply because he feels as if maybe he made the right choices in life at the worst possible time.
As he’s walking out of Hongjoong’s apartment with you later that night, he wraps an arm around your waist, a smile spreading across his face when you nestle closer to him. You two discuss Wonwoo’s marriage, with you talking about how beautiful the ceremony was, but ultimately scowling at the mere thought of getting married. Chan feels the corner of his heart crack at your words, but he laughs it off.
“Do you think he wants kids?” he wonders aloud.
He expects you to laugh at his sudden curiosity. He doesn’t expect you to dig at the fissure in his heart with your words, causing it to shatter completely.
“Gosh, it’d be so weird to see.” You cringe, snuggling deeper into his arms as a chilly breeze brushes against you two. “I like kids, but I’d never have them myself. Feel like it’d kinda ruin my life.”
Chan feels his grip on your waist loosen.
“Having kids doesn’t ruin your life,” he reasons. “You’re given the chance to care for something so precious, so important to this world…” he trails off, shaking his head and taking a step away from you. It feels as if exasperation has filled his entire being. “You look into their eyes and see yourself, and it’s— the love you feel when you first see them is so pure and earth-shattering that you can’t think of anything but how to make that tiny being only experience the good in the world. It doesn’t ruin your life.”
You eye him with confusion, cocking your head to the side and huffing out a laugh. “You talk like you know what that’s like. If you ever have kids one day, then you’ll know—”
“But I do know,” he’s yelling before he can stop himself, his footsteps coming to a halt. “I know because I have that. I have that and it’s the most precious thing in my life and yet I’ve been taking it for granted. And for what?”
He scoffs bitterly, his gaze fixing on your features; your flushed cheeks and slightly smudged lipstick, the way your puzzled eyes gleam under the moonlight. He shakes his head. 
“For childish illusions. The illusion that I could go back in time if I pretended hard enough, the illusion that this romanticized idea I have of my early twenties was superior to the life I have now,” Chan lets out a heavy breath, averting his gaze to the pavement. “The illusion that I could ever have you.”
“So it’s my fault you chose to lie about being a dad?” You blurt out.
He doesn’t lift his head. He can’t, the burden of guilt and shame weighing too heavily on his shoulders for him to face you.
“It’s my fault. You were simply the catalyst.”
“What do you even mean?”
“I mean I’ve always felt this way,” he exasperates, finally lifting his head but keeping his gaze anywhere but on you. He’s a coward. “I’ve always felt like maybe I was too young to be a dad, too immature to fully understand the consequences of the choices I made. I don’t regret my daughter, but I certainly regret the timing, and this haunts me every day. Meeting you again just made these feelings worse because you represent everything about my past that I no longer have.”
You remain quiet for a beat, but it feels like an eternity as Chan is forced to endure the deafening ring of your silence.
When you finally speak, your voice is unsteady. “You know, that’s why I always figured it was for the best that you left.”
“What?” Chan turns his gaze toward your face at last, your words stomping on his scattered heart one last time. He expects anger, but sorrow has taken over your expression, one so heavy he doesn’t recall a single moment in the years he’s known you where he’s seen you like this.
“You were always like this, Chan. You might think you were a different person back then, but you said it yourself,” you shrug with a sullen chuckle. “It’s only an illusion.”
He hums, nodding his head as it dawns on him. “You were never gonna be mine, were you? No matter what I did. I lied to you because I thought you would never want someone like who I am today. But I guess that was all in vain, ‘cause I’ve always been like this.”
“You always talked about getting married, settling down, having kids.” As you run a hand through your hair, an exasperated sigh falls from your lips. “You went along with our bullshit, but even back then, you were always like the dad of our group. This has always been you, Chan, but that’s not a bad thing. Don’t think you need to change or lie about who you are ‘cause you’re the most amazing man I’ve ever met, but…”
He scoffs. “But?”
“But we’re too different. We’ve always been. We’re great together in every way but the way you want us to be — the way I would love for us to be as well,” you simply say, offering him a smile that doesn’t quite reach your eyes.
“And would it kill you if we tried? ‘Cause this unfulfilled hope has been killing me since I first fell in love with you.”
“What’s her name?” You simply ask, avoiding his question altogether. Chan furrows his brows. “Your daughter, what’s her name?”
He shifts on his feet. “Hyerin.”
“I hope she knows how lucky she is to have you as a dad.”
Chan shakes his head. “I’m far from the perfect father.”
“Good,” you state matter-of-factly. “Perfect wouldn’t be you.”
You fall into a much lighter silence, although it’s still far from comfortable. A swarm of questions fills Chan’s mind, but his words fade into silence and die on his lips.
He knows everything is over when you suck in a sharp breath, muttering, “I can’t be what you need. When love becomes too serious, I feel trapped and run away. You know what that’s like,” you trail off. “I know we loved each other back then, and I know I still love you now, but I think it’s my turn to walk away. I’m sorry, Chan.”
And just like that, he’s left to watch your figure slowly grow smaller and smaller as you fade into the dimly lit street. You don’t reprimand him for lying or question if he also loves you still. You don’t explain why you can’t make an effort, probably because you’re unsure of the answer yourself. It turns out you both remained unchanged.
And after all this time, it’s only then that Chan realizes you were always just as lost as he was.
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Chan didn’t allow himself to think much about you since he watched you walk away that night. He missed you often, as he had done for so long before your last encounter, but he had long grown numb to that feeling.
In the two years he was apart from you for the second time, he learned that life isn’t black or white. He could be a father while also being his own person; a son, a friend, a boyfriend. He learned that prioritizing Hyerin didn’t mean neglecting himself, as that would negatively impact her as well. She couldn’t only know happiness if her father was always dripping with sadness.
He learned he doesn’t have to choose between who he is now and who he was at twenty years old; they were both him, with certain moments bringing out glimpses of one or the other.
Hyerin started elementary school and is blossoming into a caring little girl, no longer needing Chan to tie her pigtails in the morning or remind her to brush her teeth before bed. Although she still demands that they maintain their nightly routine of lying together until she falls asleep to the sound of his voice singing her favorite song.
During his first parent-teacher conference — after walking into the classroom fifteen minutes late — he’s stunned to see you sitting across from him yet again, a pencil holding up your ponytail the same way it did that night at the restaurant. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his lips.
You were Hyerin’s teacher. He recalled picking her up after her first day of school and listening to her gush over the art teacher who was so pretty and nice, and talking about how she wanted to be like her when she grows up.
It felt as if you were destined to find each other every time one of you chose to walk away.
Your friendship picked up again slowly this time — no rushing into bed together and no rushing into long overdue serious conversations. They had already been avoided for years, anyway, they could wait a bit longer. This is exactly what you needed; patience. Chan had never had the patience to wait for you, while you never had the patience to understand your own feelings.
It’s been ten months now, and he’s yet again sitting before you. The teachers and parents converse around you both as you sit in silence. When you think no one is watching, you exchange glances, struggling to suppress the silly smiles that insist on spreading across your faces.
As people leave the room one by one after the meeting, Chan approaches you.
“You’re Bang Hyerin’s father, correct?” You speak with a grin.
“Correct.”
“She’s an amazing kid,” you tell him.
He smiles, shifting his gaze toward his feet before his eyes find yours again as you speak.
“We could grab a coffee this weekend.”
This time, there are further implications hidden in your request. You’re not asking as a friend, like you’ve been doing these past months. Some things are heavy with you now, and this is something he’s only recently come to find. He’s also come to find that he loves that change.
So he answers, “Sure. Tomorrow at three?”
“Then I’m your date for tomorrow,” you say with a giggle. “See you there, cutie.”
And Chan lets out a hearty laugh at that, which earns him a scolding look from the other teachers in the room.
He isn’t sure what will come of this. Maybe you two are better off as friends and all it will take is a couple of months to figure that out. Maybe time has changed you both more than he can understand, and you will finally be able to try something real after all these years of unfulfilled hopes and childish illusions.
Either way, Chan knows he won’t let go of you this time.
He wants you to be his, in any sense of the word.
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♡ taglist: @bloom-ings, @linocz, @farahia, @mirbokk, @jisunglyricist, @jazziwritesthings, @seungseung-minmin, @yourcvndx, @hynjinnnnnnnie @vlctorriaa @yongbokkiesworld
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navybrat817 · 3 months ago
Text
Out of My Head
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Pairing: Chubby Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Summary: Bucky feels a bit insecure during a romantic evening and you do your best to get him out of his head.
Word Count: Over 2.6k
Warnings: Unprotected v. sex, dirty talk, possessiveness, a/b/o dynamics, insecurities, self-doubt, slight feels (it's me), Bucky Barnes and he's crazy about you (he's a warning, okay?).
A/N: More Beach Fun Nonsense! Hope you lovelies enjoy. @missvelvetsstuff, @honeyglee (chubby!Bucky), and @bucksbabee (rose petals) all requested for alpha!Bucky to Go for a Swim (smut) with prompt #27 and #32 in bold. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!
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Bucky wanted tonight to be romantic. Candles, rose petals, the works. Not for any sort of special occasion, but because his omega deserved only the best. Day in and day out. He hoped it was enough to make you feel loved and adored. It was a wonder that you were with an alpha like him.
If you looked inside his head, you’d tell him there was no reason for him to think he wasn't the perfect man for you. That he was a good partner and alpha. Had been from the start. That you loved him. And you did. You never once gave him a reason to doubt that.
If only he could push away the negative voice in his mind that seemed determined to bring him down tonight.
“Bucky?”
Tilting his head, everything around him became muted as he focused on you. Laying on your side with your naked body exposed to him, he watched the candlelight cast a glow upon your skin. Both of you lost your clothes earlier in the evening, content to lay beside each other for the time being. He wished some days that you didn't have to wear clothes at all. You and your body were made to be worshiped.
Unlike him.
Bucky almost covered himself up with the blanket. He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment it happened, but he was soft in places where he was once firm. While he had been on the thicker side for years, he now had some pudge to go along with it. Handsome or not, he just wasn't in the same shape he used to be when he was younger. What if one day you didn’t like that? What if you wanted someone different? Stronger?
Better?
“You're thinking too hard again,” you said, picking up one of the rose petals to brush across his forehead. He smiled when he realized you traced a heart. “I can feel it.”
He inhaled your scent to ground himself. Orange, cinnamon, honey. The aroma of you made his mouth water. It comforted him, too. He hadn't associated any kind of smell with a sense of home until you.
“I’m thinking about you.”
“Oh, yeah?” You smiled, nuzzling into your pillow more as you gazed at him. “What about me?”
“Just how amazing you are,” he answered.
When he looked into your eyes the first time, he expected to see his imperfections staring back at him like they had with so many others. But the way you looked at him with kindness, acceptance, and want, everything fell into place. Pieces of himself he didn’t know were missing found their way back to him and made him while again. His heart didn't stand a chance.
It belonged to you.
Beautiful. Perfect. Mine.
How is that possible? How does a goddess want me? What the hell is wrong with me tonight?
“You know you look at me some days like I'm not even real?” You asked, reaching over to run your fingers through his hair. He moaned and turned his head to nose along your wrist. He craved your touch and scent like nothing else. “Like you're in some sort of a dream and you're afraid you're going to wake up if you look away.”
“Because you’re everything I could ever want. You occupy every single thought in my head, and every single dream,” he whispered. Even his dreams couldn't come up with someone as amazing as you. “And maybe I am afraid that this isn't real.”
Your brows pinched. “Why is that?”
He leaned over to kiss your forehead, wanting to ease the worry from your face. “I’m not sure. You just seem too good to be true and it feels like I might wake up to find you gone. Or that one day…” He rested back, swallowing hard. “You’ll decide you just don't want me anymore.”
You whined, a distraught sound that broke his heart. He wanted to take back those words, but he didn’t want to hide his feelings no matter how much it hurt to talk about them. “Bucky, I’m not going anywhere.” You shook your head vehemently as you sat up. “And I want you. I always do. Why would you ever think I wouldn't want you?”
“Because look at me.” He waved his hand over his torso, averting his gaze as if to hide his vulnerability. “How can someone like you want someone like me?”
He wanted to take the words back the moment they left his mouth when another wounded whine spilled from your lips. You placed your hands on his cheeks and brought his gaze back to you. There was mist over your eyes like you were going to cry and he wanted to chase that look away. “How can I want you? Do you have any idea how gorgeous you are? How wonderful you are?” You kept a hand on his face as the other slid down to his neck. “Bucky, look at me, please.”
His eyes slowly opened. He hadn't realized he shut them. “Doll, I’m sorry. I-”
“You're perfect. Inside and out. And don't say you aren't because you're perfect to me.” There was a hint of a growl on your tone as your hand moved lower. Well, as much of a growl as an omega could muster. You defended him so fiercely. “No one takes care of me the way you do. No one loves me the way you do. I’m the luckiest person in the world because I get to call you my mate.”
A strangle moan escaped when your hand brushed along his stomach. He never thought it would feel so sensitive, but no one else has really touched it since he got bigger. Except for you. “Omega.”
“You think you aren’t everything I want?” You tilted your head so he could see the mark he left. His chest swelled with pride. You never covered it up or put a collar over it, wanting everyone to see that you were claimed. He had a mark, too.
He was yours just as much as you were his.
“I know in my heart that you want me, I know that. I can feel that. But my head keeps reminding me tonight that I’m just bigger than I used to be and I have no idea why,” he said, shutting his eyes again. “It’s stupid.”
Why was his body such an issue this evening? This was supposed to be romantic, not a time to pick at his inner wounds. Maybe there was a reason he wasn't aware of. Maybe he needed to cut the wounds open so the warmth of your bond could slowly heal them.
“It isn’t stupid. Your feelings are never stupid, do you hear me? And you being bigger? Isn't that just more of you that I get to love?” There was no disgust or judgment as you rubbed his stomach again. Your sincerity almost made him choke up when he opened his eyes to gaze at you. “Bucky, believe me when I say that this isn’t a dream. This is real. I'm real and I love you. I’ll love you no matter what. That is never going to change.”
His chest rumbled at your declaration and he couldn't help but reach for you, needing to feel your body close. “I love you, too.”
He closed his eyes again when you pressed your lips to his. The bond crackled with your affection and care before his tongue slipped past your lips. The crackling intensified, your desire and need flowing into him like molten lava. It was going to burn him alive. He’d gladly perish that way.
Thank you. I love you. I’m sorry.
“Feel this,” you urged when you broke the kiss, putting his hand over your heart.
“Is that for me?” He asked as it raced under his touch.
“It’s only for you, Bucky,” you promised, slowly guiding his hand down your body. “Now feel this.”
You didn't stop until his hand rested between your thighs. “And that’s for me?” He growled as he touched your pussy, your slick coating his fingers.
You gasped and he half expected you to agree that it was, but you pulled away. He tried not to let his insecurities bubble back up and hoped his scent didn't change to something unpleasant. You assured him that he was perfect in your eyes. That you wanted him. And loved him. But it didn't mean you had to-
“It’s for you. Only you,” you said, turning toward the front of the bed to press your chest against it. “See, alpha?”
Bucky sat up as you raised your hips higher and presented yourself to him. He growled softly as he licked away the wetness from his fingers and eyed your twitching, slick-drenched hole. The blood that roared in his ears quickly rushed south and the beast inside snarled at the insecure voice to not say another word. You wanted him. Would always want him. You assured him of that with both your words and your body.
“Take a good look. It’s such a pretty hole for you to ruin. You want to ruin it, don't you? Ruin me?” You asked sweetly, briefly lifting your head to look over your shoulder. The blue around Bucky’s pupils shrank to a small ring, barely visible from how aroused he was at the sight of you. “Please, wreck me. Make me say your name.”
He had a hand wrapped around his cock, the alpha within him clawing to break through the surface. Biology would've screamed at any alpha to take you. Knot you. Breed you. But you didn’t want just any alpha. Wouldn't beg for just any alpha.
He was the alpha you chose.
“And you know that isn’t my instinct talking since I’m not in heat. This is me wanting you, Bucky Barnes,” you said as if you read his mind, snaking a hand between your legs. He almost wished you were on your back so he could play with your beautiful breasts, but he had all night to do so. “I’m so wet for you and so empty. I’m aching. You don’t even have to prep me. Just get in me. Take me.”
You gasped when he was suddenly behind you, his large body draped over yours. “That’s my pussy you're touching, omega,” he growled, pinning you down by the neck. “And I’m the only one getting you off tonight.”
“Yes, alpha,” you purred.
His belly rubbed against you as he raised your hips an inch higher and he tensed up only for a moment before he realized you pushed back against him, trying to take him in. He growled as he sat back and looked down at you, your body quivering from the low and feral sound. Deeply inhaling, he could taste your lust and love on his tongue from how strong it was. As much as he wanted to dive down and devour you, he needed to fill you up and leave his mark inside you once again.
“Not just gonna ruin you with my cock,” he said, brushing the thick head of his cock between your folds. “Gonna ruin you with my mouth after. Make your flood it with that sweet slick and drink it down ‘til you scream how much you love me.”
“Yes. Please, alpha. I want your cock. Your mouth. Anything,” you begged, keeping your head down when he folded over you again. You didn’t fear his size or weight crushing you. It excited you. He could smell it.
“You need me?” His lips brushed the shell of your ear. “Say my name.”
You whimpered when he pressed himself against your entrance. He tried to go slow since he hadn’t prepped you, but you could take him. “I need you. Only you, Bucky,” you sighed, trembling as he pushed in an inch more.
He gasped out your name, powerless to resist the pull as he sank as deep inside you as he could. His eyes fluttered when you clenched around him. Nothing felt as good as your slick cunt. Tight, but opened up for him so beautifully. And nothing else mattered or existed outside of you.
“Move, please. Don’t hold back,” you moaned.
Overwhelming pleasure flowed through him as his body blanketed yours. You embraced every part of him and he wanted to smother you with his scent. “Remember, omega, you begged for this.”
Whatever sense of control he had disappeared as he thrust, the slapping sound of skin on skin and his grunts a stark contrast to the romantic setting of the room. You couldn't push your hips back, but your pussy welcomed each movement as you cried out. Even with his vicious thrusts, it was somehow sensual when he nuzzled your neck.
Mine. Mine. Mine.
“Yours,” you moaned.
He hadn't known he said the words aloud, too lost in his primal haze. By the sounds of your moans and feel of your clenching walls, you were close already. It pleased him knowing how much he pleased you. He wanted to draw it out, make it last. He also wanted to bring you over the edge again and again.
“Does that feel good? You love getting fucked by your big, strong mate?” He grunted, heat pulsing through his veins.
“Yes. So strong,” you whimpered, reaching back to grip his hair. “So big.”
He groaned, raw pleasure bubbling through every part of his body. “Yeah, I'm big and you love it. And you love my cock ruining your pretty hole?”
“Yes, Bucky. I, hmm, love your cock.” You mewled when his teeth scraped along your skin. “Love you.”
He nosed along your neck again, slipping a hand beneath your body. “Then show my cock how much you love me,” he ordered, teasing your swollen clit. “Come all over it.”
You screamed his name as promised, slick gushing as you spasmed around him. He didn't stop, his hips snapping faster and harder as you shook through it. To feel you let go and hear those sounds of ecstasy as you rode out the waves was an honor. He needed to join you on the ride.
“Such a good omega. My omega. Gonna fill you up. So. Fucking. Good.” He growled the last word as he spilled inside you, panting with his release. The sensations blended with your earlier words, surrounding him in bliss. You were bliss.
Careful not to crush or jolt you, he rolled to his side and took you with him as he stayed nestled inside you. He murmured praise against your skin as you snuggled back against him. He didn't want to leave your body just yet. Not when you felt so good. Not when the terrible voice remained quiet.
About time you shut the fuck up and let me enjoy the evening with my mate.
“Better?” You breathed, looking over your shoulder with hopeful eyes.
Both of your hearts racing still, your purr mixed with his rumble, he wondered why he was so bothered before since his insecurities weren't a constant thing. Everyone had their off days though, including you. Sometimes for no concrete reason at all. That was life, but he couldn't ask for a better partner and mate to help him through the ups and downs, big or small.
“Much better. Thank you,” he whispered, brushing his lips against yours. “But one more thing.”
“Yeah?”
He wrapped his arm tighter around you and didn't flinch as his stomach pressed more against your back. “I love you, too.”
Always, my sweet omega.
And should you ever doubt his want or love for you, he’d be sure to assure you the way you did for him.
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Lovelies, I was TERRIFIED to post this, but I'm in love with them. Maybe we'll see them again? Love and thanks for reading! ❤️
Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi
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vxnuslogy · 3 months ago
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— will they, won’t they.
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pairing: hoshina soshiro x gn!reader
premise: hoshina soshiro has been hopelessly in love with you for years now. and for the first time, you finally hear him say the words "i love you."
— warnings: down bad + jealous hoshina, modern setting, reader is a kyudo player.
— author's note: little miss says she's going on a break then proceeds to write about hoshina soshiro for all the dying fans (its me, i'm the dying fans.) art credits to @.BByo_chick on twitter.| ~700 words.
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“how long are ya gonna keep me here?”
“no one is forcing you to.”
hoshina only clicks his tongue and stares at the dojo walls. his finger impatiently tapping at his chin as he hits crossed leg on the floors. it’s half past 5 in the afternoon now and you have no intentions of going home anytime soon.
“i’m gettin’ bored here,” he drawls, hands stretching over his head as he watches you shoot another arrow with pin-point accuracy that makes his smirk twitch uncomfortably. you’ve gotten too good at kyudo, and it shows.
“then go home,” you reply as you pull the bow back and aim for your next shot. “you don’t have to keep waiting for me to finish.”
but that was the thing: hoshina wanted to wait for you and he always will.
he wants everyone to know that you had him and he’s all you’ll ever need. there was no need for that guy who caught your fall a few days ago—not when he’s been catching you for the past 3 years. he was your guide in the train station every morning, so why do you keep trying to go to the station earlier and ask your junior for directions? hoshina soshiro was always by your side, so why couldn’t you see that?
“i’ll wait,” he murmurs into his hand, eyes looking at anything but at you. “got nothin’ to do at home anyways.”
it was a weak excuse, but it always does the trick. you always relent and let him stay but not without throwing a look over your shoulder that screams “you’re acting strange.” because he was. hoshina, against his will, feels his lips being tugged into a frown whenever you interact with anyone that isn’t him.
that sounds very bad–it is bad in a sense–but hoshina would never dream of taking away your freedom. so he just watches, painfully by the sidelines, with a scoff on his face as another student from a rival school stammers to ask for your number. it was irritating, having to watch everyone throw themselves at you when you’re clearly uninterested. 
“what the hell will happen if i’m not by yer side, captain.” hoshina jests as you pack up your stuff and lock the dojo.
“is this about earlier?” you ask with an amused lilt to your voice. “when the new student asked for my number?”
hoshina hated how you always aimed for the heart.
“i have no idea what yer talkin’ about,” he weakly tries to change the topic. hoshina racks his brain to think of something—anything—to help change the conversation, but his mind keeps circling back to you. how you almost looked serious when some guy–who was leagues below you by the way–had the gall to ask you out for a date.
“never took you for the jealous type.” you tease.
“it’s because ‘m not.” he said through gritted teeth, hands balling into small fists against his school bag. “‘m lookin’ out for ya, alright? that guy was a creep. i’m keepin’ yer ass safe from weirdos.”
you looked unconvinced but didn’t comment on his unusual aggressiveness. hoshina let out a frustrated sigh, a hand coming to ruffle your hair and pull just a tiny bit closer that would make everyone question your relationship. this was driving him crazy but he couldn’t do anything about it.
“‘m not jealous. get that over yer pretty little head.”
and until you both got on the train and went your separate ways to go home, hoshina soshiro never once let your hand drop to your side. he kept you impossibly close to his side and whispered sweet good lucks into your ear. body so comfortably lax in your presence he was slouching on the train seat so he could bury his nose in your hair. 
hoshina soshiro was so unfathomably in love with you. 
how could he not love you when you use your own heartbeat to calm his erratic one during every competition? when every hug has his mind spinning with gold and you. every victory is dedicated to your name, and no trophy or medal could ever compare to the feeling of running into your arms and drowning in your praise.
“i love you.” he mutters as you sleep peacefully on his shoulder on your way home. how many years has he been saying it before he lost count? it’s truly just a matter of when you’ll wake up and finally realize it yourself.
he feels the blood rush to his brain as he throws himself on his bed, unable to wipe the image of you smiling as if you had heard him.
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© vxnuslogy 2024. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works without my knowledge or consent in other platforms or websites.
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xxxdreamscapexxx · 1 year ago
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Sweet trouble
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Pairing: Step!Mother Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader
Word count: 12.7k
Summary: Being left home alone is the perfect time to catch up on all your secret activities. What you don't expect is that your Step Mother has secrets of her own, or that you'll stumble on them accidentally. What will happen when she finds out you've been going through her things?
Warning: NSFW, 18+, lesbian relationship, Stepcest?, masturbation, edging, teasing, oral, fingering, finger sucking, Mommy!Kink, top!Wanda, Bottom!Reader
Masterlist with all my works.
When you woke up this morning, you never, in your wildest dreams imagined that one of your most secret, most shameful desires will come true. It was something you had only seen in fanfiction and maybe twisted porn, but never believed real people did, or that it could in fact, happen to you. Truthfully, if someone had told you such a thing will happen, you would have scoffed and called them crazy.
But you were getting ahead of yourself. Your morning started the way it often did during the summer. You got up and walked down the stairs, to find Wanda sipping her coffee and scrolling through her phone. As usual, she put it away as soon as she saw you and she greeted you warmly.
Wanda Maximoff was your stepmother. She had married your father a little over 4 years ago, but you had known her for almost 5 and despite having a rocky start with the woman, you actually had a great relationship with her. She was warm and sweet and she never treated you like a child, nor did she try to “replace” your actual mother, who did her best to stay in your life. In fact, Wanda treated you with respect and kindness and you soon saw her as a friend.
Well… That wasn’t entirely true. You started seeing her as a friend at first, but over the years that connection shifted. She talked to you about the things your parents never wanted to, she always listened without prejudice or judgement and gave amazing advice. She also cared about your interests and she supported all your hobbies and little projects and she even often helped you.
Wanda was there when you decided to make a replica of the “T.A.R.D.I.S” from “Doctor Who” and spent an entire weekend helping you build it, so it would end up perfect, she watched every scary movie you asked for, because you could never bring yourself to do it on your own, and even though you were both scared, she always pretended not to be. For your sake. And then, when you were too scared to sleep alone, she pretended to fall asleep on the couch and let you snuggle into her, even if her back hurt the next day. She encouraged your writing, she read every book you ranted about… She supported you when you came out. For all those things and so much more, you gave Wanda your love.
Unfortunately for you, those were also the reasons why at some point, you stopped seeing Wanda as a friend and started seeing her as the woman of your dreams. Yes, cheesy. But true. And that idea gnawed at you ever since you stopped trying to lie to yourself.
The truth is, you spent way more time with Wanda than your father ever did. He was good, a good man and a good father, but his work often had him travelling for long. When you were young, he often took the whole family with him. Had private tutors for you, made sure you were educated by the best and brightest and the love of learning connected you together. But as you grew older, that life drove your mother away. To make the matters worse, he realized you needed stability just around the same time he met Wanda and soon, you were left in the big house, surrounded by housekeeping and your new stepmother, while he was away for months at a time. But at least he let you attend high school, instead of hiring more tutors, so you wouldn’t feel so alone.
You often wondered why Wanda chose to be with him when you, his daughter, knew more about her, spent more time with her and, you were sure, loved her far more than he did. But you never dared to ask and she never spoke of that, preferring to focus on you instead and you reciprocated that interest. You watched her favourite sitcoms with her, spent afternoons making pottery with her, which resulted in way too many crooked ceramic mugs in your home that you never knew what to do with, but loved too much to throw away. You taught her calligraphy, after you showed her your first story and she declared that you have the “prettiest handwriting” and asked you to teach her. In turn, she gave you cooking lessons, because her food was by far, the best thing you had tasted, until it became a tradition that you made dinner together.
God, you shared so much of your life, so much of yourself with the woman, you gave so much of yourself to her, that it shouldn’t have come as such a surprise that you ended up falling for her. And her way with you didn’t help matters either. And yes, it wasn’t something outrageous. It was little things, like the way she’d hold you, pulling you closer into her side during movie nights, which by the way were almost every night. It was the way she sat with you on the couch in the study, reading her book while you did homework, mindlessly playing with your hair, it was her protective on the small of your back, when you felt surrounded by people, the way she always knew when you needed her to step in and save you from strangers, or the soft way she held your hand when you went somewhere together…
It was never one thing. It was a million little things and each one had you falling more and more deeply in love with her, until you couldn’t deny it anymore. You realized it during your junior year, when all your friends wouldn’t shut up about boys and their crushes and all you would think about was Wanda. What plans you had with her, what you’d watch with her, what meal you’ll be making together, where you’d go over the weekend… It was all Wanda. Even in your dreams. And to make matters worse, those dreams soon manifested into your waking hours, flooding your thoughts with nothing but her.
Now, the beginning of summer after senior year, when you had decided to take a gap year before college and focus on yourself, your writing, perhaps even travelling, you were fully aware that you wanted none of those things without her. You hadn’t booked a single destination, because you hadn’t yet the courage to ask if she’d join you. You had stopped showing her your stories, because they were all about her and despite your best efforts had turned highly suggestive and then straight up erotic, up to the point that they no longer soothed you, when you thought of Wanda, but rather left you even more turned on and needy.
The neediness, unfortunately for you, had been another new development. No matter how many cold showers you took, how many times you masturbated to thoughts of her, the ache between your legs never quite went away. Actually, every time you’d see her, every night when she cuddled you and played you a movie, every evening when you helped her make dinner, each hot afternoon spent at the pool with her, left you a horny mess.
Today, after you helped Wanda make breakfast, that the two of you shared, she asked you if you’d like to go out with her. She had some errands to do and she promised to make it fun, despite the tediousness, offering you lunch at your favourite restaurant, or perhaps a small shopping trip in the afternoon, but you declined, opting to stay home instead.
To be fair, you wanted to go with her, you wanted to spend every second you could with her, but being left home alone meant that you could perhaps catch up on your writing without her seeing you and asking to read your story, or finally take care of the ache between your legs that lately never went away, but you were never alone for… Maybe even do it, the way you so often longed for, but never could… God, you were a twisted girl. But you couldn’t help it. You just wanted her so much.
Wanda seemed a little bit surprised and frankly disappointed by your refusal, but she took a deep breath and she wished you a nice day, before she took her purse and her car keys, phone tucked in the back pocket of her tightly fitted jeans and she left, putting on her stylish sunglass, before opening the front door and disappearing from your view.
As soon as she was gone, you rushed to the study, reaching out behind a cluster of old, dusty books and taking out the Paperblanks hardcover journal dedicated to Edgar Allan Poe that she got you as a gift. It was beautiful and stylish and filled with all the stories you wrote about her.
As soon as the notebook fell open, you saw the last page you had written on and your fingers traced the last paragraph, reading through it. “You don’t hesitate when your fingers lace with my hair, your grip firm as you hold me in place and you study my face. My mouth open, my tongue sticking out as it awaits your dripping pussy...” Yes, you remember that and your legs instantly cross over each-other at the wave of arousal, but you keep it at bay.
For the next few hours all you do is write. Your fantasies running rampant and free and filling the pages. It was almost a trans-like state, your hand moving almost on its own while the images in your head played out in front of your eyes. It felt freeing to be able to “share” your thoughts somehow, even if no one ever saw them and you only reluctantly stopped, when your stomach growled for food and your hand was cramping.
You made your way to the kitchen, groaning, your writing session had left you wet and so needy, that despite your instincts and Wanda’s voice in your head, telling you to eat something heathy and filling, you pulled out a fruit yogurt with mango and maracuja and ate it, leaning on the counter, wanting to stretch your legs a little.
Finished with your “meal”, you headed upstairs, making your way to the bedrooms. Yours was at the end of the hall and you headed for it, but stopped mid-way, when you saw Wanda’s bedroom door was slightly ajar and you stopped right in front of it, debating with yourself. You knew you shouldn’t go in, that it was an invasion of her privacy, but your heart was so full of longing for her that you eventually reasoned, that you’ll only look around… Just get her scent in your nostrils and leave.
As soon as you walked in, your eyes started to search the unfamiliar space. It’s not that you’ve never been here, but the room was so alien to you, one you’d spent the least time in, that it almost didn’t feel right. You certainly never dared be so inquisitive, when Wanda was there with you.
Your eyes scanned every object, every photo, most of which were of you and Wanda and you allowed yourself to breathe in the aroma of everything Wanda. It smelled like clean sheets and her favourite vanilla and Himalayan magnolia air freshener, like her perfume and just something uniquely her. God, you’d roll around in it if you could.
Everything seemed so perfectly in order, her bed made and without a single crinkle in it, the room so pristine and clean. It was lovely, and your heart skipped a beat at the thought that you wished you could wake up here, next to her each morning.
Walking further into the room, your curiosity almost entirely satisfied now, you ran your fingers over the objects she had on display. Souvenirs from trips the two of you had went to, her certificate for completing a “beginners” course in Latin dances, that she only went to for you and that you had stopped attending, because you hated how every man in the studio drooled over her, the ceramic figurine of a cute bear that you made her one time, a bowl of sea shells that the two of you had collected last summer at the beach…
You were just about ready to leave, when the sight of a drawer, half-open and because of that seeming out of place, caught your attention. Everything was so perfectly in order in this room, that it looked so strange to see it left like this and you went to it thoughtlessly, pulling it open to inspect its content, only to gasp in surprise at what you found there.
It was full of toys. Sex toys, to be exact and you couldn’t help but stumble backwards a little at seeing just how many there were. Dildos in all colours, shapes and sizes and made from different materials were organized, each in its individual place. Handcuffs, soft Velcro cuffs and steal, regular ones easily distinguished. Ropes, blindfolds, some butt plugs, vibrators, lube, a couple of harnesses and even other things that you couldn’t name or guess the intended use of, could be seen laid out and you studied them with deep curiosity.
Did Wanda use all these? Did she lay here, in her big, soft bed and play with herself at night? What did she think about? Who did she picture in her fantasies, when she buried one of these toys inside herself? Did she do it slowly, or did she like it rough? How did it feel to be stretched out and full?
As your mind was flooded with questions, you mindlessly got closer, your hand reaching into the drawer and your fingertips grazing a rather large, realistic looking dildo. You’d never actually seen toys in real life, so the sensation was both strange and exhilarating. Sure, you were 19 now and could buy them if you wanted to, but the thought just never appealed to you.
You just couldn’t picture it. You’d never had anything other than two of your fingers inside yourself and it had already felt too much. You couldn’t even imagine what something so big would feel like or would do to you. Did Wanda enjoy the feeling of them? Did she ever wear her harness and bury one of these inside someone or did she like to be on the receiving end? You certainly liked to imagine yourself on the receiving end of one of her toys, especially after you learned of her past with women. She had shared those details when you came out to her, hoping to soothe you and help you feel like you’re not alone, but you never imagined that you’ll one day walk into your stepmother’s bedroom and find so many toys, or that you’ll find yourself wishing you could see her play with them… God, the one you reached for looked so big, so thick in your hand. That could never fit inside you.
Yet the thought of Wanda stepping into her harness and picking out a dildo from her collection, while you waited for her in the bed, spread out and so needy for her, had your legs squeezing together in search for relief. Would she tie you down? Would she be sweet and soft? Would she use her fingers and her mouth? What would it feel like to have your arms wrapped around her, to be able to kiss her, as she had her way with you?
Fuck, you needed relief. And you needed it now. And you knew you should just go to your room and do what you always did, but this time you couldn’t. You couldn’t just close your eyes and picture Wanda, when here, in her room, all your senses were surrounded by her.
You hesitated for a moment, considering the danger, but it was still early and all the staff had the next few weeks off, so you knew you’ll be all alone. You could just… Lie down. Not even under the covers, just on top of her sheets and maybe pull your panties to the side. They were all wet already. You’ll just pull your dress up and take care of that ache and then you’ll fix Wanda’s bed and leave.
You knew it was a bad idea, but in your brain, clouded by lust, you couldn’t help yourself and gave in. So you did exactly as you planned, the skirts of your dress bunched up around your waist, your panties pulled to the side, while your fingers circled your clit. You lay on your stomach, you face buried in Wanda’s pillow and inhaling her scent as your mind filled with images of her. It was wonderful. God, it was heavenly. But it wasn’t enough. Before you knew it, you had made yourself orgasm twice already, but the desperate feeling never went away. You needed more.
You slowly turned, laying on your back, your hand finding its way back to your clit, but it was only a measure to keep you calm while you thought. What could you do? And almost like fate, your face turned to the open drawer full of toys and an idea sparked inside you. You could… No, that was an extremely bad idea. It was wrong… But maybe, it could help?
Getting up, telling yourself you’ll only take a quick look, you made your way back to the drawer and looked inside. You had no idea how to choose, so you trusted your instincts, picking a fairly small, pink dildo that seemed to look cute and entirely forgetting what a terrible idea this was, you made your way back to Wanda’s bed with giddiness, lying on your back and looking the toy over for a moment, before reaching down.
You rubbed the toy’s head against your opening, getting it slick with your juices and teasing your clit a little, before you started to slowly push it inside. The stretch felt unfamiliar, the toy, despite being small, still being larger than your fingers and you took your time to let it sink in deeper, allowing your pussy some time to adjust to it.
In just a few minutes, you had it fully inside you, the base pressing against your opening and oh, it was perfect. It was exactly what you needed and you quickly reached down with your free hand, finding your clit and adding the extra stimulation. Thoughts of Wanda quickly made their way into your head and you started to imagine the older woman doing exactly what you did to yourself, her hands working you perfectly, while her velvety voice wrapped around you and made you lose yourself entirely.
Taking your time to let it unfold, your body buzzing with excitement and pleasure, your muscles tightening, you knew you were about to have one of the best orgasms of your life, when suddenly, you heard the front door open and shortly after shut itself.
Fuck!
Sitting up, you heard Wanda’s keys land in the bowl with yours and your nervous anxiety hit a new high, when she called out your name form the living room.
Fuck!
She’d start looking for you soon, if you didn’t act quickly! God, what do you do? You needed to get out of there!
Your eyes roamed around the room nervously, toy still buried inside you and you knew you couldn’t put it back like that, covered in your slick! She’ll see it eventually and then she’ll know what you did. In the rush of the moment, you did the only thing you thought would be smart. You put your panties back where they belonged, seeing the imprint of the dildo against them and you got out of her bed. You tried to smoothen it as much as you could, but you herd her voice call out your name again, this time from the kitchen and you knew she’ll come up the stairs next. In a rush, you just closed her drawer and practically ran out, leaving the door slightly ajar as it was and you hesitated if you should go to your room, but before you could make your way there, you heard Wanda’s steps as she ascended the stairs and you knew there will be no time.
Closing your eyes for a moment, wiping your sweaty palms on your dress and feeling the fullness as you tried to calm your nerves, you committed to the decision you knew you had to make and despite every instinct of yours, you rushed towards her, meeting her just as she was at the top of the stairs.
“Ah, Y/N, there you are! I was calling you.” She smiled as she saw you, reaching out to give you a hug.
“Yeah, I heard you, I was just coming to meet you.” You manage to say, forcing a smile.
“Are you all right, honey?” The older woman’s eyebrows furrowed. “You look a little flushed.” She said with concern, one of her hands reaching out to feel your forehead. “And you feel warm too.” She determined, her eyes scanning you.
“Yeah, I’m all good.” You tried to reassure her, still practically blocking the older woman’s path.
“You sure?” Wanda asked once more, concern evident in her eyes and you tried to calm your nerves.
“I promise.” You tried to say with conviction and hoping your knees wouldn’t buckle.
“Ok, honey, but if you feel unwell, you’ll tell me, right?”
“Of course.” You smiled warmly and, seeing that the woman seemed to be going to her room, the place where you had just been, you tried to dissuade her. “Hey, I was wondering, could we have pasta for dinner today? The one with the special sauce you make?”
“Sure, honey.” Wanda beamed, her hand stroking your cheek softly before she moved past you. “Let me go get changed and we’ll go make it together.” She suggested.
Not wanting to seem weird, you let the woman pass and after watching her enter her bedroom, you actually relaxed a little, thinking that you could use this time to go back to your own room and pull out the dildo still nestled inside you, when her voice forced you to stiffen once more.
“Hey, honey, why don’t you go and take out the vegetables from the fridge and start washing them? I’ll be right down.” Wanda called out, interrupting your train of thought and destroying any chance you had of going through with disposing of the cursed toy.
“Ok.” You called out, facing the stairs defeatedly.
In your guilt over what you did, you felt like you couldn’t risk saying “no” and going to your room instead, not wanting to rouse Wanda’s suspicion. So, a little wobbly on your legs and feeling even more aroused than when you first went in her bedroom, you walked down the stairs, doing exactly as she asked, planning how to excuse yourself later and pull the damned thing out of you.
Wanda walked into her bedroom and started to unbutton her shirt, asking you to start dinner as she went, but suddenly stopped, her eyes narrowing. It wasn’t that there was something particularly wrong, it’s just that something felt out of place and she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Shrugging, she tossed her shirt on an empty chair and started to take off her jeans next, leaving herself in just her underwear and going to the closet to pick out more comfy clothes. She put on a pair of black sweats and took out a dark red top that she knew you loved and put it over her head, turning to leave, when her eyes narrowed again.
Her bed was all wrinkled and the covers were looking lumpy and it bothered her somehow. Did she leave it like this today? She leaned down and started to fix it, her hands smoothing the covers and tucking them in as she always did, when her palm ran over a damp spot. Now this really caught her attention and she inspected it more closely.
It looked like a small wet spot, more visible now that she knew to look for it and she wasn’t sure what to make of it. Had you been here? But why would you be on her bed? That didn’t make sense, until a realization came over her, like pieces of a puzzle coming together. Your flushed face, the way you tried to block her path, how out of breath you seemed and this… The state of her bed… She suddenly straightened, rushing to her drawer.
As soon as she opened it, she knew what you had done. She knew her collection very well, knew exactly what she owned and where it was, so the absent pink dildo was like a glaring hole in the middle of her drawer. But why hadn’t you put it back? Had she gotten home and interrupted you? That seemed more and more likely and at the thought, she could only sigh.
Wanda was a lot of things, but stupid just wasn’t one of them. She realized you had a crush on her somewhere around the end of your junior year and at first the thought scared her. Sure, she had noticed you turning into a beautiful young woman, she wasn’t blind, and you had already shared with her that you were gay, but she never imagined you’d develop feelings towards her. Naturally, she thought it was simple curiosity. You were growing, it was normal. It would probably go away on its own. You were surrounded by girls your own age, with young bodies and unburdened by life, so she believed you’d soon move on.
But as time passed those lingering looks you gave her started to be accompanied by something else. A kind of longing in your eyes, a kind of shy almost hope that she couldn’t quite place. Until eventually she did. Wanda knew you better than anyone in the world, she knew what made you tick and as she watched your gaze follow her, while she sipped wine, your eyes fixed on her lips and your legs squeezing together, she realized that your relationship with her had changed. You saw her differently.
That thought scared Wanda more than she ever expected and she excused herself quickly, practically running to her bedroom and burying her face in her pillow and her first thoughts were for you. She felt terrible, imagining how scared you must be, how sad and disheartened to be infatuated with your father’s wife. She kept thinking about how alone you must feel, not being able to tell anyone. How heart wrenching it must be to spend every day with her and know she was with another.
In her eyes you were her girl and she held so much love for you that the knowledge that she caused such feelings inside you, that she caused you so much pain, was devastating to her. After realizing what really bothered you, she spent so many sleepless nights, thinking of you. And in her love, she thought the best thing for you would be to pull away from you.
Yes, she didn’t love your father anymore… If ever. He was hardly ever home, hardly ever spending any time with her, always promising to retire, but never doing so… The only reason she stayed all this time was always you. She married him because she wanted a family, never expecting that she’ll find that in you. And when she had… Well… That made her choice very easy. But you were such a young girl. An old soul, admittedly, but still so young. She couldn’t let you spend those sweet years pining over your stepmother. So pull away she did.
Little did she know how devasted you’d be, feeling her absence as a hole in your heart and crying so many nights, when you thought that she no longer wanted your presence. She watched your heartbreak from afar, hating herself for it, yet thinking it would be for the best, until one night, when she heard you speak to one of your friends on the phone.
Your broken voice almost made her cry then and there and she vowed to never do that to you again. So she made sure that things went back to normal, to the routine the two of you had, but she never quite stopped noticing how the love in you bloomed.
The summer vacation after your junior year she spent entirely with you, having a grand time going to the beach, sunbathing, while you read books and drank cocktails together. Yours virgin, of course. But she’d let you have a sip from hers every once in a while, to indulge your curiosity. She’d rather let you drink with her and make sure you’re safe.
Then came your 18th birthday and the party you hosted at the house, you and your friends having fun around the pool and she thought that with all these people around you, you’d lose interest, but you never did. After everyone was gone, all you wanted was to cuddle up to her on the couch and watch your favourite movie with her. You always preferred her to anyone else, chose to stay home and try new recipes, rather than go out and she thought that perhaps this thing you felt for her was serious.
And once that knowledge settled inside her, it no longer bothered her. And with acceptance came something else. Something she never thought she had in her. A kind of curiosity of her own.
Obviously, she was flattered to know you had such feelings for her. You were a young, sweet thing, your life was just starting and she… How could she take advantage of you?
Then again, you didn’t make it easy for her. The way young girls did, you flirted boldly, openly and in gestures of sudden bravery. You flaunted yourself to her whenever you got the chance. Wearing skimpy bathing suits and even asking her to fix the strings for you, asking her to go shopping with you and dragging her into lingerie stores, showing her different sets and asking her opinion, wearing short dresses and tight shorts whenever she was around, which happened to be all the time… Asking her to watch scary movies with you in your room, cuddling into her in nothing but your panties and a t-shirt and then asking her to stay when you were too scared to stay alone.
Ugh, you were a tease. She’d feel you wiggle unnecessarily, so you’d “settle” and you’d blush furiously anytime she so much as looked at you. She’d wake up with your back pressed against her front, your ass pressed up against her as you slept happily, and every time you’d pull one of those stunts, she’d feel you chip away at her resolve.
You were so soft, so sweet, such a delicate thing, your skin smooth and flawless under her fingertips. Whenever you’d ask her to stay with you, falling asleep on her shoulder, she couldn’t help but stroke the exposed skin of your bare arms, the length of your thighs, just to feel you. It was a small action, was it not? Done out of curiosity. And it soothed her to be able to get this small thing for herself, since she had promised herself not to take you entirely.
Your last year of high school passed like that, with you parading yourself and eventually Wanda broke. She told herself she’d never make a move on you. It was wrong, but she needed an outlet for her frustration. That’s how she first spent a night thinking of you while she touched herself. Not that thoughts of you hadn’t crossed her mind before, but she always pushed them away. But when she no longer could, that one action broke the dam.
The images of you flooded her mind constantly and she found herself seeking relief in the privacy of her bedroom, imagining she had you to play with. She thought of all the gloriously depraved things she could do to you, the things she could teach you and all the ways she could corrupt you. It would be so sweet.
It got worse as your feelings progressed and she’d often wake to the sounds of your moans in the middle of the night. The first time such a thing happened she rushed to your room, thinking maybe you’re in pain, only to see you sprawled on your bed, legs spread wide and your hand moving furiously in your panties. You thought you were being quiet, that you were being subtle, but honestly, she could sometimes make out the way you called her name as you made yourself cum.
Now, looking in her drawer of toys and realizing what you’d done, she tried to let it go, but she just couldn’t. You went behind her back, sneaked into her bedroom, snooped through her things, used her toys and masturbated on her bed. As much as she was impressed by your boldness and surprised to find that your desire for her went that far, she was furious. You didn’t even have the decency to hide it well! Why didn’t you just wash the toy and put it back? Did you still have it? Ugh, she was angry!
She knew you probably didn’t mean for it to go this far, but she just couldn’t help it. How was she meant to stay away from you, to keep her resolve and refrain from marching down and fucking you senseless, when you did such things? She had to teach you a lesson.
Her fingers clenching over the edge of the drawer, knuckles turning white, Wanda was ready to slam it shut and storm down the stairs, when her eyes landed on a pink remote control. It was for the dildo you had used and she was surprised you hadn’t taken that too, before she realized you probably had no idea it had a vibrating function. Or maybe you hadn’t gotten that far. Who knows? Either way, an idea sparked into her head and she decided to test a theory and if she was right, tonight she’ll teach you a lesson and pay you back for every time you’d teased her, every time you paraded yourself in front of her, every time you tempted her and made her crave you.
In the back of her head, she knew what this decision meant. She knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself. If she went through with it, she’d go all the way. Closing her eyes and breathing in, she tried to think clearly, but she had reached the end of her restraint, the end of her self-control. She couldn’t pretend that she didn’t want this anymore. She had to have you.
Taking the small remote control, she put it in the pocket of her sweats and she walked down the stairs. She found you prepping the vegetables, just as she asked, your cheeks still flushed, but you tried to act as normal as possible. With a smile, Wanda did the same, starting to make the dough for the homemade pasta and starting up a light conversation with you.
“So, honey, what did you do today?” She asked sweetly.
“Oh you know, just normal things…” You trailed off as your legs squeezed together.
“Yeah? Did you finish the new book I told you about?”
“No, not yet. But almost. I’m so excited to see what happens.” You tried to feign interest, but Wanda knew you. You hadn’t read a page. “What about you, did you have a nice day?”
“Nice isn’t how I’d describe it. But I’m glad to be home.” She responded shortly. “You know, sweetie, why don’t you get the sauce started and leave it on the stove, I’ll watch it while I make the dough and you can sit down. You still look a little flushed.” She suggested and you sighed with relief at her offer, doing as she asked, finishing as quickly as possible and making your way to a chair in the kitchen, sitting down and watching her cook, the way you have so many times before.
Except, as soon as you sat, you realized it was a mistake. The dildo, still nicely nestled inside you, was pressed against the surface of the chair and pushed as deeply as it could go, causing you to let out a small whimper at the feeling of being so full and even with her back to you, Wanda knew that her suspicion was right.
“What was that, dear?” She turned to look at you for a moment, your legs squeezing together so tightly your muscles shook.
“N-nothing…” You stuttered out, a hand gripping the edge of the table.
My, you were so responsive. You must have been close, if you were this worked up. How delightful. Wanda was going to have so much fun with you.
Unaware of how closely you were being watched, or of the wicked plan your stepmother had formulated for you, you started to gently rock on the chair, the movement bringing brief relief to the aching between your legs. But Wanda wasn’t going to let you just fuck yourself right in front of her. If anyone was going to fuck you tonight, it was going to be her.
Reaching into her pocket, she felt around for the buttons of the remote control and she turned it on and let it start at the lowest setting. Your reaction was instantaneous. You gasped, trying to do it quietly and softly, but she heard you none the less.
Feeling the dildo start to vibrate had you stiffen on the chair. God, did your slow grinding press the start button on the device? It was possible. Now you felt the gentle hum of the lowest setting and it drove you crazy. Perhaps with some concentration you could ignore feeling the toy inside you, but you couldn’t contain yourself like this. It was nestled at the deepest parts of you and vibrating against an especially sensitive spot and it had you shaking.
“Wanda, I think I’m going to lie down.” You suddenly said, swallowing hard and preparing yourself to stand.
“Oh, sweetheart!” She gasped when she turned to you. You looked a mess and it was absolutely breath-taking. She always wanted to see you like this. Now that she was so close, she wasn’t going to let you slip away so quickly. “What’s wrong? You seem even more flushed. And your forehead is so hot, baby, maybe you should lie down on the couch, so I can take care of you.” She suggested with concern. “I’ll bring you a cool cloth for your forehead and a glass of water.” She suggested, offering you her hand and guiding you to the couch.
“No, you don’t have to do that, I’ll just lie down upstairs for a bit.” You tried to protest, following her lead on instinct, despite your wish to escape to your room, but she was having none of it.
“But, sweetie, you can barely walk.” She argued, guiding you to the couch. “Look at that, you’re shaking. Lie down here for me, honey. I’ll take care of you.” She suggested, helping you lie down.
She went to grab you a glass of water, just as she promised and, on her way back, she watched you squirm and try to contain the sensations going through your body. When she made you drink at least some of the water, she left the glass on the table and she went to get you a cool cloth for your forehead, but not before sticking her hand in her pocket and increasing the speed of the vibrator.
A loud moan graced her ears just as she did it and she could hardly contain her smirk as she walked back to you.
“Now, honey, you stay here and rest and I’ll go check on dinner and I’ll be right back, ok?” She explained with a soft voice and she stroked your cheek affectionately, basking in the state you were in.
Your cheeks were burning with a mixture of arousal and shyness, your whole body squirming with need, even your hips bucking, when you thought Wanda wasn’t looking, loving the stimulation, yet needing so much more. Fuck, she could play with you like this for hours. If she had it her way, she’d strip you down first, of course, but there was plenty of time for that later. She’d watch you writhe and make you beg to be allowed to cum, push you to admit what you did and then tease you some more as punishment for it. And once you’ve surrendered, she’d make you cum over and over again, until you can’t take anymore. She’ll take your shaking little body upstairs and help you get cleaned up, so she can cuddle you to sleep. But she was getting ahead of herself.
She went to check on the pasta and the sauce you were making, stirring the pots and making sure that it wouldn’t get burned. She often looked at you at the corner of her eye, watching you writhe and, deciding to take pity on you, she clicked the off button on the remote control in her pocket, seeing you instantly settle in both relief and frustration. It was obvious you wanted more, that you needed that orgasm badly, but you didn’t want to get caught and Wanda smirked to herself. She’ll make you beg for an orgasm soon enough.
In the next minutes she let you rest, while she set up the table and finished dinner, not wanting to overwhelm you too much too early. She came over to you carefully, checking to see if you managed to put yourself together and you indeed looked much better. The frustration from the teasing and edging was obvious, but other than that you were holding up quite well and she smiled.
“Hey, honey, how are you feeling?” She asked softly. “Do you think you can come to the dinner table, so we can eat, or should I bring your food here?” She suggested, smiling.
“I’ll come to the table.” You agreed, removing the damp cloth from your forehead and taking her hands, so you could stand.
“Ok, baby, wash your hands and let’s eat.” She smiled softly at you.
Once you settled, poorly hiding a whimper when the dildo was once again pressed into your depths and against your most sensitive spots, you struggled to find topics for a conversation, but Wanda distracted you, telling you about her day and keeping your mind occupied while you ate. It was still hard to keep your urge to grind down on the toy sometimes, especially when Wanda would look at you with those pretty green eyes and swirl the wine in her glass, before sipping it. How could she be so sensual without even trying?
“Wanda, I think I’ll head upstairs. I feel tired.” You tried to excuse yourself after the meal was finished.
“Oh, really?” She said with disappointment in her voice. “You sure? I was thinking we could watch a movie together.” She suggests, pouting at you cutely and melting your heart.
“I don’t know…” You hesitated, wanting to stay, but feeling your walls contract around the dildo inside you and almost making your legs buckle.
“Maybe for a bit?” She offered with hope in her eyes. “You lie down and pick anything you want to watch and I’ll make us some popcorn. If you’re still not feeling well, I’ll help you upstairs.”
You tried to refuse her, you really did, but the truth was, that you could never say “no” to Wanda Maximoff. She was your greatest weakness and you knew you’d do anything she asks, no matter what, so you settled onto the couch, searching through the movie options and finding one that looked promising, while she brought over the big bowl of popcorn she made, sitting down next to you and pulling you into her side, just as she always did, kissing the top of your head affectionately.
You played the movie, trying to distract yourself and reminding yourself that all you had to do is get through the movie with her and then you’ll go to your room and have all the orgasms you wanted. It was just a couple of hours with Wanda.
But you’d barely gotten through the intro, when the vibrator came to life with a sudden buzz and you had to refrain from grinding against the couch at how good it felt. But that’s all the restraint you could show and you quickly realized Wanda was looking at you with concern.
“What’s the matter, sweetie? Is everything all right?”
You barely nodded, pretending to watch, when all you could do was do your best to stay still in Wanda’s hold. God, how did this thing turn on again? How do you stop it, before you have an orgasm, right there, sitting next to the woman you were desperately in love with? Worse! What if she hears the vibration? Could she hear it right now?
It was driving you crazy and holding back became increasingly difficult as time passed, your breathing going more erratic and just when you thought that it will happen, regardless if you wanted to or not, the vibrations suddenly stopped.
“Did you say something, honey?” Wanda turned to you once more, making you realize that you had whined pretty loudly.
“N-no.” You stutter out, shaking your head and she barely contains the smirk forming on her face, before it gives away just how much she’s enjoying this.
She gives you a break, letting you calm down, before she turns on the vibrator again, startling you and this time you look at her, trying to see if she actually noticed, but Wanda had her attention on the TV.
The damned thing was driving you crazy, but you couldn’t help a thought that crept into your mind. Why does it keep going on and off? Was it you? You were sitting pretty still… And then another, more shocking thought sparkled in your mind. Could Wanda? No, that was absurd. Even if she found out you took it, how would she know you still had it inside you? Would she do this on purpose?
As you turned to her, studying her expression, you couldn’t imagine Wanda doing such a thing. But you had to know for sure. So you waited for that moment when you got close, your body starting to lose some of its control and just as you were about to fall off the edge, the toy stopped, leaving you desperate and needy, extremely frustrated and utterly shocked. Did she just put her hand in her pocket? Did she have the remote there?
You had a million questions almost clouding your brain and you had no idea how to ask, no idea how to approach that subject, scared that if you were wrong, you’ll give yourself away, when Wanda suddenly turned to you.
“I see you finally figured it out.” She said in a low, raspy voice, smiling. She was almost predatory with the way she was looking at you, her soft green eyes now full of intensity. “Don’t you know that taking someone else’s things without permission is wrong?” She asked, raising a brow at you expectantly.
“I… Wanda… It’s not…” You tried to say something coherent, putting a little distance between your bodies, but you were in a state of shock and you couldn’t find the right words to explain.
“Not what it looks like?” She finished the sentence for you, scoffing. “I highly doubt that. Or are you going to deny that you snooped through my bedroom and took something that doesn’t belong to you?” She asked sternly, her eyes fixing you.
“I… ” You tried again, the words never coming out. “I didn’t mean to!” You tried, knowing it was a useless protest.
“Well, what did you mean to do, sweetness, hm? Come on, explain it for me.” She challenged again, raising a brow at you impatiently.
She gave you some time to collect whatever was left of your thoughts and she waited for you to say something coherent, but nothing actually came. There was no excuse, and you knew it well.
“Wanda… Please.” You said quietly, not even sure what you were asking of her, just knowing that you couldn’t stand the way she was looking at you, couldn’t stand how disappointed she was.
“Should I tell you what I think happened, hm?” She asked, her tone having that stern edge again. And before you could answer, she continued. “Or are you going to tell me yourself?” She asked again, holding up the remote control that was previously sitting in her pocket. “Do you need a little incentive?” She asked with a predatory grin, a slender finger hovering over the start button. “Maybe another edge or two would loosen your tongue?” She suggested, almost turning the device on.
“Oh my God, Wanda, please, no! Please! I can’t take anymore!” You begged pitifully and her heart melted a little, knowing you’ve probably never been edged. Even now you had your legs squeezed together, your eyes fixed on the remote she was holding.
To be fair, Wanda never intended to be cruel with you. She only wanted to be kind towards you, but you had pushed her buttons today and it had brought out a side of her she never wanted to show you. And you had never earned such treatment from her either, so she found it hard to contain her emotions, but she took a deep breath and tried to soften her features.
“Please, I’ll never do that again!” You pleaded.
“Oh, I know, sweetheart.” She said with surprising gentleness, stroking your cheek affectionately. “I’ll make sure of that. But you’ll have to tell me why you did it.” She explained.
“I can’t…” You tried to protest again, voice shaking. How could you explain that you’re in love with her?
“If you can do it, you should be able to talk about it.” Wanda coaxed.
“Please, let me just go upstairs and I’ll clean everything up and…”
“Oh, no, it’s too late for that now.” Wanda interrupted you, knowing where you were trying to go with that thought. “You don’t get to pretend that nothing happened.” She added with a thoughtful expression. “You see… I tried to pretend that I don’t see the way you act, or your little skimpy outfits, or the way you look at me. I tried to pretend that I don’t hear you calling my name at night, when you touch yourself… I tried to stay away and be a good stepmother, a good wife… And then you go and do something like this… Tell me, Y/N, what should I do with you now, hmm?”
Her words, the way she said them… The admission that she knew of your feelings sent you spiralling all over again and you didn’t even know where to begin. What were you meant to say? What did she intend to do? Was she going to tell your father? God, you hoped she wouldn’t. Not even because you were so afraid of him, but because you were so afraid of losing her. You never wanted to lose her.
“It would be so wrong of me to take you.” Wanda continues, talking more to herself now, her words taking a surprising turn. “So wrong… But you make it so hard for me to resist you.” She confessed. “You’ve been driving me crazy.” She said in a low voice, getting closer to where you stood, cupping your chin with her fingers, so she could make sure that you’ll look at her. “Do you know how hard it has been? Watching you offer yourself to me so shamelessly, listening to your moans at night, hearing you call my name and having to stay away from you…” Wanda’s gaze had darkened, making your pussy throb around the vibrator inside you and leaving you even more needy and helpless in her hold. God, you wanted her! “Do you know how many nights I almost didn’t? Do you know how many nights I had to cum to your filthy little sounds, imagining that it was me, making you feel that good?” She asked, searching your face.
You couldn’t believe the words that kept coming out of her mouth, couldn’t believe that she would ever want the same thing you did, that she would even give you the time of day… You wondered if she really meant it. Yet she kept speaking, her words making the ache between your legs almost unbearable and the need to grind against the vibrator nestled inside you harder and harder to resist. You were ready to combust. Fuck, you were ready to let her do absolutely anything and everything to you, just as long as she finally took you.
“Tell me something, honey…” Her words pulled you from your thoughts. “Do you want Mommy to make you feel good? Is that why you pulled this little stunt? Wanted to get my attention?” She asked, watching your eyes go wide at the mention of the title you used, the one you moaned out when you thought of her. “Oh, yes, I know what you like to call me.” She smirked. “It has a very nice ring to it, when you moan it out, touching yourself.”
You could only whine, too scared to admit how badly you needed her, how much you thought of her, how long you’ve waited for this moment, but Wanda didn’t rush. She held your gaze and she searched your eyes, filled with longing, as she let you think this through. If she was going to do this, she would do it right.
“Wanda… Please?” You uttered in almost despair, not knowing how to ask for what you wanted and not daring to hope that you would be lucky enough to get it.
“Please what, sweetheart? What do you want?” She asked softly, her thumb brushing your cheekbone as a way to soothe you. “You’ll have to use your words.” She coaxed, when she saw the way you took her hand, trying to guide it lower, to where you needed her most.
“Mommy…” You whined once more, trying to plead with her, hoping that it will affect her enough to finally make that final move.
Hearing your pleas, hearing that title pass your lips as you looked at her was easily pulling at her heart strings. It was also making her want to ruin you. She couldn’t deny that it did something to her and despite your poor behaviour today, she wanted to be good to you, wanted to care for you, to shower you with the love and affection you deserved, but she couldn’t make that move, not before you asked. She had no intention to be cruel to you, she just wanted to be sure, that you wanted to take that step with her.
“I know you’re feeling shy, dear, but this matters to me.” She said softly. “I need you to know what this means and I need to know that you want it. For that, you’ll have to use your words.” She clarified again, waiting for her words to sink in, but this time she didn’t have to wait long.
“You know I want this. For years I’ve wanted this, wanted you. And I never thought you’d ever see me, the way I see you, but Wanda, if you do… Please, don’t make me wait anymore. Please?”
As soon as she heard that, she leaned forward, capturing your chin with her fingers and looking deep in your eyes, letting the anticipation build between you, before she slowly connected your lips in a gentle kiss. It’s slow and soft, she moves tentatively, bringing her body closer, so she could let her tongue explore you as well, and she’s pleasantly surprised when your hands grip her top, pulling her on top of you.
Just this small contact had your heart fluttering with joy. You never thought this could be your reality. It felt so good to feel her weight against you. You had waited too long for this. You had spent so many endless nights thinking of just this. But Wanda was worth it. To be able to smell her, to taste her for yourself, you would do it all over again.
Her hands were just as gentle as they ran up and down your neck, or buried themselves in your hair and you couldn’t help but moan and whimper as you desperately tried to get more friction and more attention from her.
She was trying to take it slow, letting herself feel the culmination of her longing and just enjoy the way your lips felt, but it just wasn’t enough. She wanted to feel more of you, feel every part of you against her and explore every millimetre of your gorgeous body. This moment between you was long overdue and you both knew it.
Tentatively, she straddled one of your thighs, pressing her knee against your aching core, hoping to provide some much-needed relief to you both, but it only made you needier and more desperate for Wanda to finish what she started.
“Mommy, please.” You whispered softly, breaking the kiss to look up at her with longing and she instantly understood.
As much as you hoped to hold yourself together, as much as you wanted to prolong this moment, scared that if you opened your eyes, she’ll disappear, you couldn’t help the way your pussy throbbed. You had waited hours, teased and edged and filled to the brim with no relief and you couldn’t stand it a second longer. You needed to cum, or you were going to combust.
Wanda met your gaze, her head spinning from how lost she let herself get in your kisses, only to see you in a similar state. The love and adoration in your eyes, all that pent up longing and your pleas were irresistible. She had to indulge you. Then again, she also had to teach you a lesson and it felt right to use this toy. You had started all this by taking it after all.
With a devilish grin, Wanda reached into her pocket, feeling for the remote control and blindly pressing the start button. She felt the toy come to life with a sudden buzz, the vibrations dull against her knee, but from the way you gasped at the sensation, she could tell you were having a much more intense experience and she let it continue its work, while she took you in a deep kiss.
When it became too hard to keep up with her, your mind too distracted by the pleasure, she started to kiss her way down your body, kissing your neck and helping you grind against her, elated to hear the way you moaned and whimpered from every small touch. God, you were gorgeous.
“Look at you.” She admired you with a soft smile. “I’m about to make you fall apart, while fully dressed and without a single touch to your pussy.” She rasped, her hands massaging your breasts through the fabric of your dress and bra.
Her words made your cheeks burn and pulled another whine from you, yet you couldn’t deny how hot it was, or how badly you wanted it. In fact, they only made you grind against her more, trying to pull her in for another kiss, desperate to feel her against you.
She was right too. You were shaking beneath her, your movements turning more erratic, the closer to your edge you would get, and knowing that once you were there, you wouldn’t be able to stop it.
“Mommy, please I want to cum.’’ You pleaded softly. “Please, don’t stop it this time.”
“So pretty when you beg.” Wanda smirked. “You wanna cum, my darling?”
“Yes, want to cum so badly.”
“If you want to cum, you have to promise Mommy some things first.” Wanda explained, removing a strand of hair from your face. “First: You’ll never take Mommy’s toys again without permission.” She stated sternly. “Is that clear?”
“Yes, Mommy, I promise.” You nodded, body squirming under her intense gaze. God, you were close.
“Second: No more touching yourself. And no more cumming unless you have Mommy’s permission either.” She explained while she trailed soft kisses down your neck. “Understood?”
“Yes! Yes, I understand.” You almost screamed, your hips stuttering against her. “Fuck!”
“Good.’’ She smiled triumphantly. She could probably get you to agree to just about anything right now. “But most importantly, no one else is allowed to see you like this, to touch you like this, to feel you and fuck you and kiss you the way I can. You’re all mine, got it?” She almost growled in your ear, one of her hands tangling in your hair to make you look up at her.
“Yes! God, yes! I don’t want anyone else, Mommy, just you. Please! I just want to be yours. Please? Can I be yours? Can I please cum?” You spoke in a high-pitched tone, your desperation reaching new hights as you heard the possessiveness in her voice.
Wanda could tell you were seconds away from your orgasm and the smile that spread over her face when she reached into her pocket, stopping the vibrator, could only be described as evil. She found it amusing that you would think that she’d let you cum like this, with a toy you had taken from her, instead of getting to feel you for herself.
“Oh my God, no, no no…” You whined, tears prickling your eyes as the sting of denial hit you full force. It was horrible, being so close, yet unable to finish. If Wanda wasn’t right on top of you, you would have reached down, trying to finish it yourself. At the same time the pleasure that burned through you, unyielding and demanding was somehow sweet.
“How does that feel, my sweet girl?” Wanda asked with a calm, self-satisfied tone that had chills run down your spine. Something told you that she would love to do this to you again. “Frustrating, right?”
“Yes.” You whined, as your nails dug into her arms, as the orgasm you had built started to dull down and fade.
“That’s what it felt like, every time you teased me.” She explained with a growl. “That’s what it felt like, to find out you took something of mine without my permission.” She added, as she took down your panties, her eyes zeroing in on the pink vibrator nestled inside you. “I’ll do much worse, if you try something like that again.” She snarled, the threat clear in her voice.
“I wouldn’t Mommy, I promise.” You squirmed under her inquisitive eyes.
“Learned your lesson, huh, my darling?” She smirked, pulling out the dildo as well, discarding it on the floor carelessly, so she can admire your sweet pussy. You were so beautiful like this. Legs spread wide, slick folds on display and your desperate pussy twitching with need and excitement. You were perfect. “Then let me show you how good I can be to you.”
With a smile, she teased her fingers over your sensitive folds, playing with your clit and pulling small moans from you, before she eased her digits inside you. Your tight walls accepted her gladly, fluttering and pulsing around her happily and a string of moans filled her ears. She curled them experimentally, looking for your sweet spot and it didn’t take long to find it, your back arching off the couch in delight.
“Yeah, that’s your spot, isn’t it? Right there.” She emphasized her words, by pressing on it again.
“Yes, right there!” You sighed, back arching as the pleasure inside you started to grow again.
Wanda’s fingers were even better than the toy, stretching you deliciously, as they moved just the way you liked and you couldn’t believe that you had lived so long without getting to experience them.
Her hungry eyes were stuck on the view of her fingers moving in and out of you, your juices sticking to the palm of her hand, that she made sure to press against your clit at each stroke. It was obscene how much you reacted to her, how badly you needed her and you tried to pull her closer, so you’d hide in the crook of her neck, but she wouldn’t let you.
“No need to be embarrassed, darling. Mommy loves to see how good she makes you feel.” She husked, but gave in none the less, wanting to feel you close to her.
She peppered soft kisses on your cheeks and jaw, trailed them down your neck and against your ear as you moaned for her, clawing at her clothed back and it took everything in her not to stretch you out with a third finger. When your walls tightened around her, gripping her hard, she knew you were getting close again, your insatiable little pussy just begging her for more.
“Are you going to cum for me, baby?” She asked sweetly. “Are you going to make a mess all over my fingers?”
“God, yes!” You gasped, trying to pull her impossibly closer.
“Show me.” Wanda husked, claiming your lips in another kiss, nestling even closer to you, pulling your legs around her waist, so she could press against you snugly, almost folding you in half as her fingers worked your G-spot.
The position was surprisingly intimate, your body trapped under Wanda. It felt snug and safe, all your senses surrounded by her. You could smell her perfume, see the curtain of her soft, wavy hair falling around you, taste her as she kissed you, feel her deep inside you as you reached your edge with soft moans of pure pleasure.
When you finally fell over it, she helped you ride the waves of extasy, her fingers never stopping their movement. You were writhing under her, but she held you down effortlessly, until you gave her everything you had to offer and she pulled out of you with a contented grin.
“That’s my good girl.” She praised, lifting up her fingers to inspect them and slowly putting them in her mouth, so she could clean them up. “And so delicious too.” She added happily.
For a moment she contemplated letting you rest, but her own arousal was driving her crazy, the wetness in her panties a stark reminder of how badly she needed some relief. But it wasn’t just that. She hadn’t even properly undressed you yet, hadn’t had a chance to taste you from the source. She wanted to do so many things to you…
“Thank you.” You purred like a happy cat, stretching a little from underneath her.
“Such good manners.” Wanda mused. “Always such a good girl for me.” She smiled, noting the way you beamed proudly at her praise. “Think you can help Mommy undress you?” She asked, waiting for your happy nod of consent and your eager adjustment, so you can help her lift off your dress and discard it.
For a moment you felt a little insecure about yourself, despite the many times you had paraded yourself in front of Wanda, but she didn’t let you dwell on it for too long. She kissed you deeply, her lips never leaving yours, while her hands reached behind you and unclasped your bra, throwing it somewhere behind her, while her hands explored you. Your skin was so soft to her touch, your body responding to every little caress and begging for more.
You were gorgeous in this state and she wanted to show you just how much she truly loved you, wanted to show you how deep her feelings really went, wanted you to know that this meant everything to her. You meant everything to her.
“Can I see you too, please?” You asked shyly, while she massaged your breasts, eyes fixed on them hungrily.
“Of course, darling.” She smiled knowingly, probably realizing how shy you must feel, being the only one naked. “Do you want to do it, or should I?”
“May I?” You practically beamed at her, sitting up in anticipation.
“Of course, sweetness.” Wanda smiled softly, stopping her movements, so she could give you some space.
Undressing Wanda was almost a spiritual experience. Each item of clothing you were able to remove revealed more of her beauty to your adoring gaze and she felt the swell of pride when she watched you take in every curve with admiration. It felt so good to be admired so openly and she allowed you to take your time, to kiss and caress her, as you shed her clothing.
When you unclasped her bra, freeing her breasts, you almost drooled at the sight of them. Perky nipples stood at attention, begging to be worshipped and you barely had time to ask if she’d let you, before you did just that. Capturing each breast in your palms, you swirled your tongue over her nipples, sucking on them gently and smiling when you pulled soft sighs of pleasure from the older woman.
As you finally reached her underwear, lacy, red panties fully capturing your attention, you couldn’t help but gasp, when you found her just as wet as you were.
“Do you like seeing that, honey? Do you like knowing you make me this wet? Do you like knowing that every night I heard you call out to me, I got just as wet, touching myself to the thought of making you mine? Does it excite you, knowing that you caused all this?”
“Yes, Mommy! I always wanted you just like that. Always wanted to know how you would feel, what you would taste like, if I could have you in my mouth.” You confessed, remembering each time you fantasized that Wanda would find you with your hand between your legs and give you exactly what you wanted.
“Well, now that you have me, have a taste.” She nodded happily, helping you take off her panties and spreading her legs, to give you a good view of her soaked folds.
Instead of answering, you just kneeled, slipping off the couch effortlessly and finding your place between her legs. With the sight of her soaked panties and the delicious smell of her reaching your nostrils, you could already feel your mouth water. There was something so erotic about having her above you like this.
Wanda looked as regal as a queen as she let you take her in in all her glory. Darkened, green eyes never looked away from you, as she left everything on display. And by all the gods, she was magnificent. Everything about her was pure perfection and you were happy to stay right there, on your knees, forever, worshipping and admiring her, if it wasn’t for the hand, that soon tangled itself in your hair, pulling you closer to her.
She leaned in, kissing you fully and only pulled away, when you both needed to breathe.
“Don’t make me wait too long.” She said as she leaned back against the couch, the hand in your hair pulling you forward and closer to where she wanted you.
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” You smiled, moving forward on your own and taking a small experimental lick.
Her reaction was instantaneous, her fingers tightening their grip and pulling you all the way, until your mouth was flush against her. She sighed with satisfaction, her legs spreading wider, to give you more room to explore her and by God, she tasted so good. You wanted to devour her whole.
“Yeah, that’s better!” She sighed, her hips canting up against your mouth, as your tongue swirled over her clit. “Just like that, baby.”
Her praise was almost hypnotic, sparking something inside you, an urge to be better than all her other lovers, to show her that you’re worth all this, that you would earn the privilege to be hers. To show her that you would learn what made her feel good, what made her moan out in pleasure, what had her screaming and bucking her hips into your mouth. You’d learn it all and you’ll give it to her, just so she would call you her good girl again.
“Fuck, yes!” She cursed under her breath. “So fucking good with your mouth.”
Her hand in your hair kept you firmly against her, nails scratching at your scalp as Wanda guided you through what she wanted. And she wasn’t shy about it either. The closer she got, the more she used you for her pleasure, her legs planted on your shoulders as she rode you even more.
“Fingers, honey. Put your fingers inside me.” She spoke breathlessly, almost suffocating you with how much she pushed you into her pussy, when she felt you enter her. “Yes, just like that!” She praised. “Such a good girl. Gonna make Mommy cum so hard.”
The prospect of making her cum had your excitement reach new levels and you doubled your efforts, swirling your tongue around her clit in circles that seemed to drive her crazy. You could feel her walls pulse around your fingers, squeezing you and pulling you in, as far as you could go and you knew she wouldn’t last much longer.
Wanda reached her edge with a high-pitched moan, her thighs squeezing around your head and the hand in your hair tightening its hold on you almost painfully, just as she started to fall apart. The orgasm that built in the pit of her stomach spread like a tidal wave, coursing through her entire body as she shook against you.
She could feel your free hand gripping her thigh, trying to keep her steady as you helped her ride it all out. When she did, body slumping on the couch with a happy sigh, she hurried to pull you up and into her embrace. Getting to cum with your mouth and fingers felt so much better than the empty nights she spent with her toys and she knew she wouldn’t be able to give you up, even for a second.
When she was able to recover, she got up, helping you to your feet with a gentle hand.
“Let me take you upstairs, sweetheart.” She suggested. “I believe you had an interest in my collection?”
Her words were full of innuendo and you practically leaped, following her up the stairs and only stopping in front of her bedroom.
“Wanda?” You looked up at her, a little insecure.
“Yes, darling.” She paused, at hearing her name pass your lips, instead of the title you chose to give her.
“Is this…” You tried to ask, but couldn’t find the right words, biting your lips in anticipation. “Does it mean…”
“You mean everything to me, Y/N.” She said reassuringly, clearly understanding what you wanted to ask.
She had spent her whole life looking for love like yours. For someone, who would worship her the way you did. And now that she had it, she couldn’t imagine ever letting you go. Couldn’t imagine ever sharing you with another soul, or letting anyone ever touch you the way she did. As soon as she kissed you, she knew that she will commit to you for good.
“Do you mean it?” You looked at her with hopeful eyes. “Because I…”
“So do I, my darling.” She smiled softly at you, knowing that neither one of you was ready to admit it just yet.
The two of you stood there, in front of her door, for a few moments longer, just smiling at each-other, letting your eyes say the things you couldn’t form into words, before you couldn’t stand the tension any longer.
“May I kiss you again?” You asked a little shyly, fighting the urge to hide into her again.
Wanda’s smile only widened. She opened her door, the soft light from within illuminating the perfectly pristine space, as she pulled you closer to her.
“Come inside, sweetheart and you can do so much more than just kiss.”
______________________________________________________
I just might have to make a part 2 to this fic, because there is just so much left unsaid here... But at least I get to share the beginning with you guys! Let me know what you think!
If you liked this story and you want more, please visit the Masterlist with all my works. Happy reading!
Disclaimer: Image not mine. I'd happily give credit to the owner if I knew who they were :)
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casuallyanidiot · 2 months ago
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Yantober Day 2
Day 2: Fate [Yandere M. Ghost x Gn. Reader]
Using @ozzgin's Yantober prompt list
Tipjar :)
Dead Dove Do Not Eat! MDNI! Tw. Possession, Death, Murder, Forced suicide, haunting, general ghost stuff, Nsfw themes, groping, soulmates
In which you find out your soulmate haunts your new apartment.
1.9k words
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Everyone had a red string tied around their pinky finger that connected them to their soulmate. You were no different. For years you had absently twirled the thread around, dreaming about the day when you would meet your one and only.
That all came crashing down one day in your early 20s. 
You had been sitting in a lecture, diligently taking notes and listening when the red string, normally taut, went gray and grew limp in your lap. You had instantly broken down, screamed, cried and clutched the last vestiges of your other half leaving the realm of the living. 
Your soulmate died one cold autumn day, and you had felt hopeless ever since.
Years later, in your late twenties after you had worked like a slave in a corporate office, you had finally managed to save up to be able to afford a nice place in the heart of the city. You began touring different apartments you could potentially live in, and, though there were many options, you ended up going with a cozy and surprisingly cheap one bedroom place with a great view of the nearby river.
Upon further inspection, about almost a decade ago, a young man died here from a surprising and tragic accident.
It was a bit of a turn off, but it was too nice to pass up. You could picture yourself having a life there, and for whatever reason, your heartstrings tugged every time you let your hands run over the antique carvings on the doorway.
So you put down a deposit, packed up all your things, and moved into the place within a week. 
The windows were large and wide, lighting the whole place light up with sun and a cool breeze, The floorboards were made of a rich, old mahogany that creaked under your every footstep, and each of the rooms had this nice, homey feel to it that seemed like it would be perfect for a young couple living together for the first time. You felt relaxed there. It suited your needs perfectly, and never once did the thought of the previous owner cross your mind.
A few weeks into living there, and suddenly strange noises would be made beyond your bedroom door. 
Squeaking, groaning noises, too. They sounded like heavy, uncoordinated footsteps, and you grabbed a knife you kept near your bedside and peered out with fear twisted in your gut into the rest of your home. There was no one there, and you were left feeling paranoid and confused, unaware of your severed thread twitching despite the lack of wind.
Stranger happenings began to occur after that.
Lights would flicker, objects would be knocked over randomly, and you’d feel a chill take over your body randomly. They were all things you could consider to be kind of normal, so you tried your best to ignore them for the sake of your own sanity. Your pinky would ache slightly with each thing, though. It gave you pause, but your thread remained lax and gray as the day the other owner died.
But other things weren’t as easy to brush off.
It would become so cold in your house that you could see your breath come out in wispy puffs, your teeth chattering as the mirrors and windows would become frosted over in the dead of summer, only for the whole frigid interior to disappear with a quick blink of the eye. It would drive you crazy, but you could only chalk it up to being stressed from work and the recent change of scenery. Another odd thing was the fact that when you would come back from a long day at your job to find that nearly every object on your bookshelf, your couch pillows, and shoes had been scattered on the ground.
You called the police and contacted the building in a panic, but nothing came out of it. No one had broken in, nothing was stolen, and nothing happened. Your finger burned the entire time they searched your apartment. 
You began to feel unsettled in your own home. Something was most definitely wrong. There was this familiar, twisting feeling deep in your gut. It was the same feeling you had that fateful day, the one where you had screamed and cried out for someone you had never actually met before. There was nothing to justify it, but you felt it anyway. You felt it when the candles you had lit would suddenly blow out despite the windows being closed. You felt it when the doors would remain shut no matter how hard you tried to open them when it was time to leave for the day. 
It was only when you saw someone else standing in the mirror behind you when you knew it was validated.
You froze in shock, your heart nearly stopping in your chest. You let out a little whimper and slowly turned your head to face the tall, slouched man whose face was hidden beneath the shadow of his hair. But there was no one there. You blinked, your hands trembling and laughed as you wiped your face.
“Holy fuck… I really am losing it,” You gasped out in a mix of relief and dread, yet it was cut short when your eyes met your pinky finger. The thread was still ashen in color, but it was taut once again for the first time in years. It was connected to the open air.
Your expression was blank, and you turned back to the mirror. The man was still there.
“What the fuck?” 
You stared in horror at the mirror as he approached you. You felt like your feet were rooted to the ground, but for some reason, a glimmer of hope ignited in you.
“Are you… are you my soulmate?” You asked, barely a whisper, and the shadowy figure paused in his steps(?). It tilted its head, and you could faintly make out the fully connected string, scarlet as blood. A dark hand reached for you, and you stayed still, allowing it.
Cold. He was so cold. You gasped, your lips trembling, and you realized you were crying. His hand passed through you, and you shuddered. “O-oh,” you whimpered, and you could feel him in your bones, your organs, your everything. You raised your head as a transparent, frigid finger prompted you to raise your head back. 
It was exploratory, almost innocent at first. He was like a shepherd guiding a flock of lambs, gilding your fingers, limbs and body into different poses, and you felt how amazed he was. You could only keep your gaze ahead, for you were afraid that if you blinked or turned away, this would all somehow vanish. There were alarm bells screaming in the back of your head, but the chill embraced you. He embraced you. It was all you had ever wanted.
And then it felt like something inside of you had been grabbed.
“Urk!” You let out a shocked noise as the feeling spread through your entire form. Every cell, every follicle of hair, even the way your nose wrinkles and twitched as whoever inside of you, no… no as your soulmate smelled for the first time in years. A hand you didn’t control touched your face. You touched your face.
He made you examine your face, laughing softly as he traced over your features with your own fingers. You wanted to scream and cry tears of joy at the same time. Instead, he smiled, and in the mirror you smiled back.
“I can’t believe it,” He spoke in a way you would never, the words feeling unnatural as they left your grinning lips. He laughed, you laughed, and he hugged you. He trailed up his touch over your body, shuddering with pleasure as your cheeks flushed red. 
“Stop that,” You wanted to say. “Don’t touch me there.” But your tongue even belonged to him now, and the thread on your pinky had formed into a little loop, twitching on itself every now and then. He looked at it, and you viewed everything through your eyes. It was a strange feeling, as if you were watching a show where you could feel, smell, taste and hear what was happening on screen. 
“I hoped it would be you. I hoped that I was right. I thought I was going to spend forever without you,” He whispered, a solemn expression crossing over you both. You wanted to throw up for some reason. It was like you could sense what he was thinking. Was it because he was your soulmate? Or was it because he was actually inside of you?
“I can’t wait to spend forever with you,” he said, a giddy warmth blooming in him, but your stomach dropped. His face twitched, you both flinched, and he hummed.
“You know… I was so happy when I realized you were mine. I’m glad that I finally got to talk to you,” He looked directly into the mirror, so you looked into your own eyes, so you could stare at him. You couldn’t look away. He touched you, and pulled open your shirt. You felt sweat roll down your temple as did he. He just kept going.
 More. He pulled your pants down. More, he shoved your own fingers down your throat. More. He posed you as he pleased, touched were he wanted, groaned and laughed in euphoric bliss as he made you watch. Goosebumps raised all over your skin, and he clicked his tongue.
“You just don’t understand. You wouldn’t get it. I watched you for months and you never even noticed. And then you would try to drive me out when all I was doing was trying to talk to you. Do you know what I thought when I died? I thought of how devastated I was that I was never going to get the chance to meet you.”
Your hands crept up, trailing over your naked torso, tracing your chest, until the reached your neck and began to squeeze. You gasped, and he laughed in two disjointed noises, both vying to use your vocal cords.
“Plea-”
“I would’ve died for you, you know? If you died. I wouldn’t be able to live unless I had you. I think you owe me that,” He drawled in wheezing, short gasps.
Fear gripped you, and you crashed to the ground. No, no he didn’t understand! He didn’t know how long you mourned, how long you grieved for the loss of him, how many times you wished you could join him. He didn’t know. Tears slipped out of your eyes, and he darted your tongue out to taste them. Your heart began to beat rapidly within your chest, trying to fight for your life.
“Die for me [Name], die for me.”
You curled onto the cold floor, almost as cold as his embrace. Your lips parted like a gaping fish, your skin turning blue. You could feel him smile despite it all. You heard your pulse thundering in your ears.
"Our.. forever.. starts …now.” Your voice was so foreign now. In your dimming, fuzzy vision, you could almost pretend he was whispering in your ear. It was like your feelings echoed and overlapped over themselves. Betrayal, anger, sorrow. All of it clashed with his absolute excitement. You were hurting, and your soulmate didn’t care.  Your body shook one last time, his freezing grip tightening, and then your heart stopped.
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radiocrypt-id · 10 months ago
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The bad kids haven't really looked too closely at the Rat Grinders (meta wise I know it's a commentary on different play styles and how shitty xp farming is and how op players/parties can become by doing the bare minimum if they put in the time while everyone else plays the damn game) but I find the split perspective problems absolutely fascinating. I can't wait for the Bad Kids to look at the Rat Grinders with envy and anger that the Rat Grinders got to live a normal highschool life without all this insane danger and experience being a teenager without it being the end of the world for them. Right now they just hate the Rat Grinders energy and are matching it back (which is a very high school thing to do. To have beef with a whole other group of kids and not even know why but you'll die on this hill because they started shit first)
Because to the Rat Grinders, from a purely outside perspective, the Bad Kids are fucking monarchs of the school, right? They skipped classes, ran around town, fought people, got arrested, hung out with a big devil? Every new staff member came at their recommendation? One of them has both her dads working at the school?? The destroyed school property, got teachers killed, straight murdered the coach? These fucking kids run around and are apparently scott-free? because the principal liked their chaos enough to let it go and help them avoid the police? To the Rat Grinders, the Bad Kids are untouchable. They're exempt from the law. They're liars, cheats and need to be humbled. It's unfair. From everyone elses perspective, it really does look like the Bad Kids have been given crazy favourtism.
Meanwhile, all of the Bad Kids have died at least once. They've been irreparably changed and are in a constant state of fight or flight. They assume everything is dangerous and anyone might be an enemy because for two goddamn years that was the exact case! They couldn't trust any adult first year! Literally anyone could have been infected with Kalina second year! who knows what happened with the Night Yord but I fucking bet they had issues with Yorbies pretending to be helpful just to kill them! Everyone, for two years, has been out to get them! They can't even sleep! And now they have to grind so hard or they fail. Adaine has a seemingly full time job after school basically every day because she literally can't afford to live? Fabian has taken on the most physically strenuous classes and sport one dude could and has dreams of also being a social legend because he's fucking lonely in that big house and he just wants to fill it. If anyone in the party fails or dies Riz is shit out of luck and wont ever get into a university? He so desperately wants his friends with him so he's working over time and ignoring his limits to make up for his party members not caring about the future. Fig is going through the strangest arc I've ever seen in my life? she's hard avoidant and taking three classes, so a 250% work load, because she's desperate to fill her time so she can't think about all the other work she has to do that if she ignores too long could crush her under the debt of her band from her label, or how alone she feels without her girlfriend around. Gorgug is so desperate to prove himself that he's doing four years of school work in one, trying to play catch up and also prove himself at the same time, he's taking it all so seriously but also is so fucking tired. And Kristen. Mother fucking Kristen "hey girlie" applebees. Expected to dedicate her life to a god with no direction, with the weight of failure being her gods death, while also being in school and also at your friends insistence needing to run for student body president and getting your priorities so mixed up and being completely left behind by her peers who didn't have to rework their entire world view and understanding of life in the span of a few months every few months.
The Bad Kids are in a terrible place. They're suffering. I want them to just say it out loud, to stop pretending they have it handled and are fine. I want Riz and Adaine to yell at the party to get their shit together. I want Fabian to tell someone how alone and abandoned her feels. I want Kristen to scream at Cassandra that she agrees, that it's not fair, she's just a kid, how could she be enough all on her own with no help? It sucks a god can only rely on a child, for both the god and child! They're both suffering from this arrangement! Neither is happy! I want Gorgug to beat the shit out of Porter with his inventions and rage at the same time, to make the best shit and use it in the most stunning way anyone has ever seen. I want Fig to finally get some freaking help, to have her teachers and parents reach out in a meaningful way and stop telling her to figure it out alone because clearly the pressure is too much for her to handle and she's drowning. I want someone, anyone, to look at the Bad Kids and tell them to stop. To help them. But I know it wont be that easy. I know it'll be the Rat Grinders yelling at how unfair it is the Bad kids get everything while they're on the sidelines that'll get under the Bad Kids skin and they'll yell about how awesome they are and that they didn't ask for any of this shit to happen to them and to fuck off. I know it's gonna get so much worse before it gets better. I know they'll figure it out and that it'll be a painful road there.
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cherriegyuu · 1 month ago
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to the start of forever | ljh
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pairing: jihoon x f!reader   genre: fluff  word count: 0.9k  summary: eating out with your boyfriend leads to the start of a new life warnings: mentions of food  please, remember to comment and reblog, it does mean the world to me and i would love to know your opinions.
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You made a low sound at the back of your throat as soon as the rich flavor of the tomato sauce hit your tongue. There was a high chance that you had found your new favorite street vendor or maybe you just were very much hungry after an entire day of not eating anything at all — you were late to leave the apartment in the morning. There was no time to eat during the day so that bite of pizza was the first real food you were getting since the night before. It was like they said, hunger is best seasoning, or something like that?
“You like it that much?” Jihoon asked by your side, laughter dancing in his eyes but he too had his mouth full, so laughing was a no. He knew how you got if you so much as caught a glimpse of the food in his mouth. 
“You don’t?” you took another bite, closing your eyes and shaking your legs a little. 
Sure, hunger did wonder for the taste of the food, but there was no way it got that delicious just because of it. Whatever it was in there, you wanted more of it. 
“I like it, but I think I like that place close to the mall better” he shook his shoulders;
“You’re fucking crazy, that tastes like ass” the seller laughed loudly, pointing a finger at you with a knowing smile. You turned to Jihoon, eyebrows raised “He agrees with me”
“It’s a fine ass”
It was almost like a reflex, you half hit his arm, half pushed him away. It was all a joke, both of you were both laughing and it was much needed after the shit day you had. 
When you dreamed of being a teacher you knew that it was hard, knew that there were going to be bad days, and days that you would want to give up, but those were starting to be the normal. Being late that morning was nothing and it barely mattered. But Jihoon knew just how bad it had gotten, he had learned to read between the lines of what you said, and he knew what to look for in the thing you didn’t say. And for that alone you loved him. 
To Jihoon, your mind was like an open book he could read at anytime time. And it had been like that from the start. The kind of connection the two of you shared was intense from the start and it was larger than anything either of you ever experienced. It was unexpected how you just felt drawn to him, and him to you. After the first meeting, when you got introduced to him by mutual friends you did something you had never bothered to do before: you went looking for him on instagram. You didn’t mean to follow him and you certainly didn’t mean to like one of his pictures from years before. 
It was a surprise, truly, when he first DMed you — something that later on you found out that it was completely out of character for him. And from there on, both of you were just stuck together. You were talking for months through texts and then when you finally met in person, it was explosive. 
That happened two and a half years before and every day ever since was filled with Jihoon and his quiet love. Quiet, yes, but all so big. Every day you felt like you were embraced by him, even on days you didn’t see each other. 
Jihoon nugged you with his knee drawing back your attention. 
“Hm?” you smiled at him.
He ran his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face, his face turned towards the sky for a second before he looked at you again. There was this different light in his eyes, something you had never seen before, but it was enchanting. 
“I know our lives aren’t really easy right now, we are not at the place we want to be without jobs, and a lot of it isn't looking good or promising yet. But there’s one thing I’m sure of and it’s that I want to be with you every step of the way. I want to wake up with you every day, I want to take you for a greasy pizza after you had a shit day. I don’t have much to offer you, but whatever I have, I want to share with you”
You felt like your heart stopped for an entire minute. It was like your body forgot that it was supposed to do things on its own. 
“Are you proposing?” you breathed, forcing your lungs to work again.
He smiled a little, somewhat embarrassed while nodding.
“I know it’s not amazing and I don’t even have a ring to give you. All I have is my love and this promise, and I know it’s not much…”
You covered his mouth with your hand. Your eyes were filled with unshed tears at the same time a smile took over your face.
“No, no, it’s perfect” you moved your hand, holding onto his cheek and pulling him to you until your lips were pressed over his “I love you so much”
“I promise to make a better proposal later, give you a ring” he laughed a little.
“Don’t you dare, I love this” you shook your head “It was perfect. This is absolutely my new favorite place in the world. I say yes to ring though”
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if you were tagged, please reblog and leave a comment, it really does mean the world to me and i would love to know your thoughts. thank you! 💕
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kookslastbutton · 6 months ago
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Those Eyes Chico ༓ myg (m) | chapter two
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✑ Summary: As the new marketing director for Min Yoongi’s upcoming D-Day album & tour, you’re expected to bring your expertise to the table. This shouldn’t be a problem—you’re the best in the business and you’re used to drawing a strict line between your professional and personal life. But what happens when the lines you’ve fought to keep as separate blur for the first time?
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pairing: idol!yoongi x plus size!poc!reader
genre/AU: angst, fluff, smut, slowburn, coworkers2friends2lovers, winter setting, forbidden love
word count: 6.1k+
warnings: This chapter in particular is written from Yoongi's perspective, oc is 28, Yoon is 30, oc is not originally from South Korea, oc has light brown eyes, swearing, mentions of alcohol consumption, smoking, mentions of body shaming by Hybe executive, bestie!tae is wonderful support ����, light fighting between members (literally crack), Namjoon has a little crush, Oc being a total boss at work bc she is amazing at her job, and cute & meaningful Yoon and OC interactions that make them finally start bonding (a little flirty too, hehe) 😉
now playing: Sweet Dreams by The Last Shadow Puppets
a/n: CHAPTR TWO IS HERE! GOD...the slow burn exists outside the series too with me not updating for two months. I'm sorry guys but TYSM for your patience! I'm VERY excited to release this chapter bc I think Yoon & Oc are super cute, hehe. Okay anyway, this series is dedicated to my wonderfully crazy friend and sorta beta, Gloom @theuselessdaydreamingidiot, and to all our fellow Yoon lovers bc we miss our sweet man SO MUCH 🥺 Enjoy! 🥰 Also huge thank you to @itaeewon for designing this beautiful series header! Love it!!
Series Masterlist | next chapter >>
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Yoongi stands with his hands placed loosely on his hip, chest heaving as he attempts to catch his breath. The seven of them had been practicing choreography for their new RUN BTS song nonstop when Jimin called for a much-needed, fifteen-minute break. There’s a part of him that’s thanking the younger for it and another that’s wishing he hadn’t, as every moment left alone with his thoughts is spent decoding his last encounter with you at the cafeteria.
Why had you made such a beeline for the exit the moment he was waved over by his member?
You also completely ignored his attempts to greet you on your way out. He only stopped by the cafeteria to slip an orange in his pocket before returning to his studio. He didn’t mean to intrude or incite that you had to leave with his sudden presence.
Taehyung assured him that you merely left to tend to work matters, which he’d typically sum as hyper-fixation with one’s work as he’s prone to do the same, but this felt different at its core. Your behavior seemed more intentional than that. The last thing he wants to do is misread the whole situation, but he must’ve done or said something to cause your uneasiness.
“Hyung, how did the album meeting go this morning?” A clear voice comes from Yoongi's left as his fellow band member, Namjoon, strides next to him, water bottle clenched in his fist. Like himself, large droplets of sweat dots around the man’s brow. The minor interruption shakes Yoongi out of his slightly dazed state.
“Went well.” He takes a big swish of his own water before screwing the cap back on. “We reviewed everything in three hours and the album looks better than I anticipated. There are a couple of promotional strategies that still need finalizing, but I’m pretty confident about it overall.”
“That’s great, man. __-nim’s been doing good work with TXT for the last few years, so she’s definitely suited for the job. I thought about requesting her help to promote Indigo but the timing of it all didn’t work.” Namjoon’s voice drops an octave at the last part, as if remorseful for more than a missed professional opportunity.
“Ah, maybe your next album hyung,” Jimin suddenly chimes in, slapping the taller man on the shoulder from the side. “I have a feeling you and __-nim would work well together. Think about it, you’re both natural born leaders and you’re smart too. I bet __ -nim has as high of an IQ as you.”
Namjoon’s cheeks flush with the faintest tint of rose as Jimin flashes a knowingly cheeky grin. Yoongi, of course, witnesses the entire exchange, the slightest part of him feeling uprooted by the thought of his band member and new marketing manager suddenly hitting it off. He decides not to comment on the matter, choosing to remain in ignorance instead. This is all speculation, right?
Now that they’re all on the subject of his album though, it gets him thinking that maybe he’s been too narrow viewed regarding the reason for your off putting behavior at lunch.
D-Day’s release has become a consuming priority lately, with everyone involved worked to the bone. Aside from himself, you’ve been bearing the brunt of it. He’s appreciative of course, considering the album holds a deep sense of meaning to him, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want it to be perfect. A little pushback during the first proposal is natural, yet he did get more resistant toward ideas during this morning’s meeting than anticipated. Perhaps some of his nitpicking was unnecessary, adding to your already heavy load.
Yoongi’s head feels worse the longer he entertains the possibility. He doesn’t want to make the first time working together a complete whirlwind, especially this early. A strong, healthy partnership starts with trust, safety, and mutual respect. The same philosophy can be applied to relationships of varying natures. That reminds him—since when did Taehyung and you become so close? He’s been ruminating over it all afternoon, like a jigsaw puzzle he can’t solve.
It’s odd how little he knows.
“I heard someone mention __-nim over here. I want in.” A small grumble leaves Yoongi’s lips as Jungkook pushes next to him, displeased by how tiny his space bubble has gotten due to the huddle his members have formed around him. Just why the hell is everyone so interested in his new marketing director? That's what he wants to know.
“Can you introduce me to her sometime hyung?" Jungkook pleads. "I’m thinking about releasing an album in the next year and it’d be great if you could hook us up…yknow?”
Oh, Yoongi knows. He knows exactly what this young buck is insinuating, but it isn’t mating season yet and even if it were he will do no such thing as to “hook them up”. Besides, his conscience tells him that you wouldn't be interested in the company of a younger man anyway—not that your dating life is any of his business or anything.
“Get in line Jungkookie, behind Namjoon. He needs her for his album first.” Jimin squeezes down on Namjoon’s muscular shoulders with both hands, shaking him just enough to hype him up. His hands are removed seconds later when he’s told to knock it off.
“That’s enough about this, okay? I’m pretty sure Yoongi-hyung is the only one who actually needs __-nim right now because, in case you dumbasses have forgotten, D-Day is set to release in April,” Namjoon scolds the two with a commanding tone. Jungkook, per usual, remains persistent in his original request and keeps his full attention on Yoongi.
“Anyway hyung, as I was saying, I know your album takes priority so I’m in no hurry to meet her. I can be pretty patient as you know-“
“Heh, that’s a lie.”
“Shove it Jimin, no one’s talking to you.” Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunch together as Jimin snorts helplessly next to Namjoon.
“You shove it Kook,” Jimin counters. “And stop trying to date __-nim! Find your own woman!”
“I’m not trying to date her! She's my noona for gods sake! Do you think I’m oblivious to how the public reacts to idols dating? Also, __-nim is a Hybe employee, not an idol. I can only imagine the type of scandal the media would spin it as.”
“Right, we all know you actually just want to take her to your bed instead,” Jimin interrupts for the umpteenth time. “Our handsome leader, on the other hand, is interested in her professional abilities. We can learn a lot from him.”
“Why are you always trying to start a fight with me Jimin? Is it because I can take you, now that I've been building up more muscle?” Jungkook’s accusations earn him nothing more than a sea of eye-rolls until Jimin lunges himself towards him, puffing out his chest the best he can to size him up.
Namjoon rubs his face with a hand, a clear visual display of his exhaustion. He’s been moderating these stupid squabbles for nine years now. “Alright very mature, biggest boy band in the world and this is what it’s come to? Amazing, congrats to everyone for winning the award for most-”
“Woah, woah, woah,” Seokjin interjects, effortlessly shouting over everyone while waving his hands. “My brothers…why are we fighting over here like a couple of peacocks? We are all beautiful in our own, individual ways. Mine, for example, is my handsome face.”
“For the love of god hyung, we’re trying to settle something. Go take your inspirational pep talk elsewhere!” Jungkook bends his knees, swooping down to throw Jimin over his shoulder but he misses when the man starts tickling him ruthlessly.
“St-ah-stop it Jimin!"
“You stop it, you frickin’ brat! Trying to take advantage of our hyungs for your own selfish gain.” Jimin then slaps Jungkook on the ass which does not go unappreciated as Hoseok cackles from the other side of the room. Up until this point, he’s been scrolling on his phone, completely unbothered by the chaos. As Hoseok nears the action, Jungkook delivers a swift kick to Jimin’s rear end.
“Ow, what the fuck Kook?!” Jimin tries soothing the sting by massaging it with his hands. “You little prick!”
“Oh come on, I barely hit you. Gaining sympathy points won’t help this time, plus I see you trying to hide a grin. You think this shit is funny. You’re sick you know that?”
Jimin makes a move to return the kick to his youngest member but ends up hitting a far taller, and leaner subject instead. Taehyung, who just returned from the bathroom, throws a hand over his abdomen and grunts from the sudden impact.
“What is—shit Jimin that really hurt!” Taehyung’s baritone voice echoes off the walls as he winces from the pain. He takes a few deep breaths, then viciously eyes the two brawlers followed by the rest of the room. “What the hell is going on? I heard you all talking about __-nim from the hallway. Yoongi-hyung here is trying to kick off his album and tour, which we are supposed to be celebrating over drinks this Friday, but here you are arguing with each other and who has the biggest dick. Well, you can all put it away because as __-nim’s best friend, and number one wingman, only I’m allowed to set her up with someone and it won’t be with any of you! Sorry hyung…” he looks at Namjoon who appears to have brushed the comment off.
As soon as Taehyung ceases his mini-speech, eery silence sets in. Hoseok is the first to dare say a word.
“Uh, so what’s this about being her best friend Tae?”
“Yeah, I had no idea either.” Jimin quirks his head to the side, awaiting the details.
“Same,” Namjoon adds in a short breath.
“What happened to us, man?” Jungkook pouts at Taehyung, a total 180 from moments ago when he was in an unsolicited sparring match with Jimin. “You used to share everything with me. Now you’re holding out on me. Since when did you and __-nim start hanging out?”
Yoongi’s ears perk up for the first time since all the commotion began, curious to hear Taehyung’s response. He only recently discovered the blossoming friendship hours ago and even then, it was a brief inside look.
“I didn’t think to mention it but yeah, we started talking since her first day at Hybe. I bumped into her on the way into work, early morning for both of us. I expected her to be a bit on the reserved side, considering she was a new hire, but she was quite friendly. The more we talked, the more I felt like I knew her as if a childhood best friend I’d reconnected with.” Pausing, he wets his lips before continuing. “We share a lot of our meals together now, like our lunches during the weekday. Her food tastes amazing by the way. I think she missed her calling as a chef but it’s more than food— it’s a love language, a labor of love.”
“Wow, you two sure are connected,” Hoseok speaks first again, seeing the rest of his members working to process the new bit of info.
“Platonically, yes.”
“This’ll be good for Yoongi-hyung and his album then! No bad blood exists here!” Hoseok shifts his gaze between Taehyung and Yoongi, pleased with the outcome. The older of the two remains speechless, yet it’s far from a dazed expression. Yoongi is instead deep in thought, the wheels turning in his head.
So maybe it’s true that birds of a feather flock together, he hums to himself. The two of you seem to be social butterflies with a vase full of commonalities. He, on the other hand, prefers his solitude. That’s not to say he’s a hermit or anything though. Hybe hosts a company-wide New Year’s Eve party every single year and he’s made his best effort to attend them all. He mainly mingles with his members, but he still makes sure to small talk with other coworkers. Come to think of it, did he even see you at last year’s New Year’s Eve party?
He can’t remember much from the night except Seokjin scolding him for not wishing him a happy birthday the minute the clock struck midnight. He was a bit tipsy at that point. Taehyung disappeared soon after to make his usual rounds, stopping to chat with everyone in his path. Maybe he took off to talk to you during that time.
Okay, he really needs to stop thinking about you.
"Just to confirm, is everyone still on for Friday night to celebrate D-Day?" Jimin pipes. "I booked us a good place to have some food and drinks.
Taehyung nods, "I am, as long as it's not the same place we saw our CFO and his much younger date feeding each other. I couldn't eat for the rest of that night."
Jungkook fakes a gag before replying. "I'm sorry but does anyone know how is he still working here? Guy creeps me out."
"I swear, I couldn't agree more. Just yesterday he made an egregiously body-shaming comment toward __-nim to someone else on the board. She kept a brave front when she told me, but I'm damn tempted to get him removed from his position myself!" Taehyung's nostrils flare as he shares his frustration, fingers digging into his hips.
Yoongi takes a final chug of his water before abruptly tossing the bottle on the floor. A sharp crack resounds through the space, instantly commanding the authority of the room. “Fifteen minutes is over,” he gruffs. “It might be twenty minutes with all the bickering earlier. We don't have time to be talking about this anymore.”
“Come on now," Hoseok says. "Didn't you hear what Taehyung said? Our CFO really is a class-A jerk. I feel so bad that __-nim has to put up with his bullshit, she doesn't deserve it." His eyes frantically search the room, hoping to rally support.
"Don't worry about that asshole," Yoongi assures, "I'll handle it." He strides over to his choreographed position on the dance floor as if a leader in his own right, the rest of the members following in his steps.
"Just don't kill him, hyung," Namjoon says, resting a hand on the older's shoulder from behind. Yoongi merely snorts lightly in reply.
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Yoongi is dead tired, his feet feeling heavier the minute he stands from his studio chair. He could have left hours ago, but here it is nearly 9:30 at night, and he's only just leaving the office.
As he shuffles down the hallway towards the elevator, he notices the eerie silence. It's thick, almost palpable. There's not a soul left in the building this late at night. When the elevator doors open, he leans casually against the metal rail, closes his eyes, and mentally retraces his day.
Overall, it was a decent day, he thinks, productive at best. Skipping dinner to work on his album tracks was an easy decision, but he might be paying for it now given the intense growling of his stomach. Despite his songs being considered perfect by his members, he can't help but tweak each one a final time. It's as if his gut tells him there's still a piece missing from the whole.
All at once, the elevator comes to a sudden stop. Yoongi's eyes shoot open, anticipation flooding his senses. Is someone still here? He listens intently, straining to hear any sound over the faint hum of the elevator. After a few moments that feel like an eternity, the elevator doors slide open to reveal an empty, dimly lit hallway. It's the 16th floor. He hesitates for a second, peering into the shadows, but there’s no sign of anyone. Strange.
Just as the elevator doors begin to close, Yoongi hears a distant, unmistakable voice. "Please hold the door!" you plead, your voice strained with urgency. He responds immediately, stretching out an arm to block the door. "Thank you so much," you say, slipping in beside him, your bag thrown over your shoulder.
Yoongi watches as you enter, curiosity in his eyes. It seems you were of like mind tonight, working late and likely burdened by the extra work he caused for you. The feeling of tension is as clear as it was yesterday, lingering as a reminder of the unspoken discomfort between you both.
But then again, there's that issue Taehyung mentioned, looming in his thoughts. He hadn't realized you overheard the horrendous comment his CFO made about you. No wonder you hurried away from him like a bat out of hell yesterday; you knew he knew. He wouldn't dare shine a light on the situation and risk embarrassing you further; no one needs to relive such a belittling experience. Yet, he's wrestling with the right words to say.
"Heading home, Min PD-nim?" You surprise him by speaking first, voice firm with a touch of gentleness.
Yoongi allows a faint smile to tug at the corners of his lips, hoping it'll relieve some tension. "I am, it's been quite a day. What about you?"
You nod, shifting the bag on your shoulder. "Same here. Just had to wrap up a few things before heading out."
He hesitates for a moment, noting how you speak as if it were only a few minutes past five or six in the evening. "I understand. I was working in my studio up until now. I should be back up there tomorrow too," he says, then chuckles lightly, "Sometimes I feel like I should just live up there."
You return the subtle laugh and smile softly at him, your light brown eyes catching his dark ones. It feels like the same prolonged gaze you shared upon first meeting, yet now, it's somehow become easier; perhaps a hint of familiarity.
"By the way," he continues, seizing the opportunity, "feel free to call me Yoongi-ssi. I'm not that formal in case you didn't know." He playfully gestures to his casual attire; tan cargo pants, grey plaid button-down, and sneakers.
You seem hesitant towards the request at first, evident from your delayed response. "Are you sure?" you choke. "I don't want to over step my boundaries."
"There's no need to worry about that," he assures. "We're on equal level aren't we? If we're going to be working side by side for the next eight months give or take, I want us to feel comfortable with each other. Please, call me Yoongi-ssi."
"Okay, I might need some time to get used to that," you say, head nodding, "I'll try calling you Yoongi-ssi from now on."
"There's one other thing too," he pauses, "since we'll be working on D-Day's promotion from start to finish, I'll have many of my own opinions. It's a natural instinct for me, but I don't want to be a hinderance. I don't want anyone else giving you issues either, so I'd like to hear your full thoughts on matters, especially when it comes to important decisions."
"That means a lot Yoongi-ssi, thank you. I'm very grateful that you'd allow me to be a part of this and I'd very much like us to have an equal partnership. This is your album though, so I want to make sure it gets the recognition it deserves in the way you'd prefer."
Yoongi glances at the floor numbers displayed to the right of the elevator doors. Any second now and you'll reach the lobby. He wouldn't mind talking longer, but letting you both get a decent night's sleep is the far better idea at this point.
"I trust that D-Day is in the right hands with you, __ssi," he replies. "It's why I recommended that we work together to promote it in the first place. Bang PD was also confident in the idea. We don't doubt your expertise for a second." He pauses when the elevator doors slide open and allows you to be the first to exit. "Have a good night, okay?"
For the first time, you reciprocate the wish with a full, illuminating smile. It's not a professional one, Yoongi notes, its a real one—as genuine and sincere as his words. He takes it as a sign that the tides may finally be turning for the better. "You too," he hears you say before you push through the large revolving doors and step into the cool night air.
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In the evenings that follow, Yoongi finds himself back in his studio as promised, a glass of whiskey in hand. He ultimately decided that if he was going to be here until all hours of the night, he might as well have a cold beverage to keep him company.
As he leans back in his chair, swirling the dark amber liquor in his glass, his mind inadvertently wanders to you. Were you downstairs again? Were you here with him? It would seem that given your unexpected late-night encounter in the elevator, the validity of the idea wouldn't be all that wild or far-fetched.
With each passing minute, as the clock inches closer to the late hours, he finds himself circling back to the same thought. It's as if the possibility of running into you has become a highlight of his night.
Just then, a deep and familiar voice interrupts. "Burning the midnight oil again, hyung?"
Startled, Yoongi looks up to see Taehyung standing in the doorway, a sympathetic smile on his face. Despite it being almost 9 at night, his younger member is nothing short of flawless in appearance.
"Yeah, working on my tracks," Yoongi replies, offering a small smile in return. "What are you doing here?"
Taehyung steps further into the room, hand tucked in his pocket. "I wanted to stay late to keep __-nim company, but I'm not sure how much longer she plans on staying tonight. I was on my way out when I figured I'd stop by to see you too."
"Well, thanks for thinking of me. Want a drink?" He offers, nodding towards the nearby whiskey bottle.
"No, thanks," Taehyung declines politely, shaking his head. "I'll let you enjoy your whiskey in peace. Although, __-nim might take you up on that same offer one of these days. She has a strong taste for it, as you do. Anyway, I'm heading out. Don't overdo it with your music, hyung, they're already perfect."
Once Taehyung leaves the studio, Yoongi's previous string of thoughts return to him tenfold.
So you really are here, he muses, and you happen to like the same throat-burning alcohol. Should he venture downstairs and offer a drink? No, that would probably be too much, and he wouldn't want to interrupt you. Maybe if Taehyung were accompanying him, but not alone; he doesn't share enough rapport with you to merit such a spontaneous drop-in yet.
No, he takes another sip of his whiskey, he'll see you tomorrow morning instead; during your morning meeting. But that gets him thinking—he's still yet to decide on whether or not he'll make an appearance on Fallon's show. He’d done it with his members numerous times, but this would be the first time doing it alone. His album would indeed benefit from the exposure, though.
"Damn it," he curses, raising from his seat. "I work my ass off. I work my ass off for it all!" He then sits back down, finishing off the rest of his whiskey in one gulp, the burn soothing his frustration momentarily. With a resigned sigh, he turns his attention back to his music. "Damn it, I guess I'll do it."
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If it weren't for his phone notification reminding him of his 10 am meeting on Friday, Yoongi would have missed it entirely. Normally, he never forgets important events, but several late nights in the studio had predictably caught up with him. He feels extremely sleep-deprived today, his memory more prone to blanking than usual. Waking up with a throbbing headache at 5 am, which hasn't dimmed in the slightest, doesn’t help either. Nonetheless, with only ten minutes to spare, Yoongi has no choice but to pull himself together and head downstairs to the conference room.
"Good morning, Min PD-nim," you greet him as he walks through the door. "We're about to start."
Yoongi drags out a chair and takes a seat. You look nice today, he notes quietly to himself. He makes sure to send a small smile your way before returning the warm greeting. "Good morning __-ssi," he says. "I told you we can speak informally didn't I?"
He waits for your response, easily tuning out the startled reactions from the rest of the team. Most high-ranking officials in the organization expected to be addressed formally by those in lower positions, but here he was, openly requesting you to speak as equals. It was almost unheard of during work hours. He was Min Yoongi, after all.
"Right, of course," you reply, "You'll have to excuse me, Yoongi-ssi. It slipped my mind for a moment."
Yoongi watches as you shuffle a few papers in your hand before continuing. "To get us started, I thought we'd discuss the decision to schedule a spot on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon. Will we be proceeding with this?"
"After mauling it over I think it's a good idea for the album. Do we have an idea of when this would happen?"
"Ideally after the album releases and around the time the U.S. tour begins April 26th. I say we aim for early May. Given Fallon's show's high demand, we'll need to get a jump on this as soon as we can." You shift your attention to your digital marketing and promotions team. "So-hyun, can you reach out to the producers and see what strings we can pull?"
She nods, scribbling a quick note on her writing pad. "We'll reach out today. I'll let you know as soon as we get a response."
"Excellent, thank you. I'm glad to hear you're on board with this Yoongi-ssi. It'll be a great way to promote D-Day and attract a global audience. The more smartly we utilize our resources, the better your album will be positioned in the current market." You take a brief pause to flip through your notes again. "Speaking of resources, we'll need to start booking magazine shoots and interviews. I'm proposing we run cover pages with Marie Claire Korea and Vogue Japan."
Yoongi would be taken aback by the flood of ideas and schedules you're firing at him, all within the first fifteen minutes, if he weren't already aware of your level of competency. This is exactly why he chose you, he hums to himself, your preparedness is impressive, but not surprising.
"I presume this will take place next year?" he asks. "During their spring issues?"
"Absolutely. We'll submit inquiries soon to get the ball rolling, but having the shoots completed now would be premature. Plus, it'll take some time before there are any openings with the companies. I think we should be consistent with tour dates and have Marie Claire go out in May and Vogue ready in August of next year."
"Okay, I'm fine with all that but we'll need to have something exciting released now, don't we? I know I start my weekly lives tonight, but shouldn't there be something more we can do?"
"I agree," you reply. "That's why I wanted to propose a brand new idea that came to me a couple of nights ago while I was drafting promotional content. Anytime idols release a new album or music, it gets published on YouTube, right?"
He nods, curious on where you're heading. "Right."
"Why don't we start a talk show with you as the host Yoongi-ssi? It can allow your fans to see another side of you, as well as the general public. We can invite your BTS members as guests where you can discuss music or past challenges that you've had to overcome—the choice is yours. To make it more interesting for viewers, you can have these frank conversations over a glass of whiskey or soju."
"I like the idea," he says, weighing it in his mind. "What would the timeline look like for this?"
"If we move forward with the idea, I suggest December 5th and we continue it for a max of two months. I know that only leaves us with just under two weeks to get started, but creating the set shouldn't take more an a day or a day and a half. We can also easily shoot a 30 to 60-minute video in an afternoon and publish it on YouTube the following week. Of course, a preview of the show will need to go out beforehand."
"Would we be able to invite other guests to the show? Outside of my members, I mean."
"Yes, feel free to invite whoever you'd like. We can start with the member for the first several episodes but ultimately, welcoming a variety of guests from the same or differing industries would be the goal."
"If I may." A member of the social media team suddenly joins the discussion, "I think Kim Namjoon-nim might be a good person to feature first since Indigo releases December 2nd."
Yoongi nods in agreement. "I can ask him."
"That would be fantastic, actually. If his availability is limited, we could have him guest star for the second or third episode instead," you add. "Hoseok released Jack in the Box this summer so we could have him be the first guest as well."
"Do we have a name yet?"
"Suchwita," you answer without hesitation. "It's a play on words with Daechwita."
"Suchwita..." Yoongi repeats, "Time to get drunk." He chuckles at the last few words, amusing the room, but you remain contemplative.
"How about Suchwita...time to drink with Suga, instead? It's simple and has a slight whimsical nature."
"Sure, let's use that," he answers, noticing that you've already begun jotting down the idea. "Yours is better."
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Despite the adrenaline from the productive meeting with you and your team, Yoongi still feels the weight of his sleepless nights bearing down on him. His headache remains relentless and he is in dire need of a moment to himself. Once the team disperses, he slips his phone into his pocket and makes his way outside. The crisp, early morning air should offer him some relief, along with the pack of cigarettes tucked in his pocket.
When he reaches the building's designated smoking area, Yoongi takes out a cigarette and lights it, taking a deep drag as he leans against the cool brick wall. As he exhales, watching the smoke dissipate into the clear sky, his thoughts drift back to the meeting. The idea of hosting a talk show, "Suchwita...time to drink with Suga," still lingers in his mind. It’s an intriguing concept, and he can already envision the relaxed, candid conversations that could come from it.
His thoughts are suddenly interrupted by the sound of footsteps crunching on the ground nearby.
"Oh, Yoongi-ssi," you say with alarm, obviously startled by his presence. "I didn't mean to interrupt you. I'll come back lat-"
"There's no need for that. Join me if you'd like." Yoongi watches as you hesitate to accept his offer, your feet already positioned to head back inside the building. "Seriously, there's plenty of room, and no matter what they'll tell you, I don't bite."
He allows himself to smirk as you carefully move beside him, only stopping when there is at least two feet of space between you both.
"Thanks," you say, pulling out your own pack of cigarettes and lighting one. "I needed a break too."
"Rough morning?"
"Just busy," you reply, leaning against the wall next to him. "But the meeting went well. We should be able to get the ball rolling now that we have a more finalized plan. I'm glad you liked the idea of starting Suchwita, by the way."
"I do," Yoongi says, nodding. "It has a lot of potential and I'm sure Namjoon will be more than happy to help us out. He's a natural at this kind of stuff. I guess it's why he's our band leader."
"You know you're good at all of this too, don't you, Yoongi-ssi?" You pause, taking a puff of your cigarette. "Even when you have a lot on your mind and a packed schedule, you have a knack for making people feel at ease. It's why I think producing Suchwita will be such a great way to connect with fans and other artists—you'll be the host."
He chuckles, appreciative of the remark. "You really think that? That I make people feel at ease? It's not what a lot of people assume."
"Nah," you reply, tilting your head up toward the clouds. "They're just on the outside looking in. Those who know you, who are around you and talk to you, will agree that you're a pretty calming presence."
"Well, I think we're not so different then." Yoongi shifts his eyes to your face, still looking up at the sky, and smiles softly. "So, what made you come to BigHit? Didn't you say you worked for Atlantic Records? That's a pretty good gig."
"Yeah, it was. I learned a lot there, and man, I was thrilled when I got offered the job as a brand manager. I've always loved music, ever since I was a kid. I could connect so intimately with the lyrics. Music is one of the few things that could soothe me during rough times, and it still does today. I'm sure you can understand."
Yoongi nods, intent on listening to your every word, intrigued by your story.
"Anyway, sorry about getting long-winded here" you chuckle. "I ultimately decided to move on when Bang PD reached out and offered me the marketing manager position for TXT. It gave me the chance to be a more integral part of bringing music to individuals who need it most. It's like we say, 'music for art and healing.' I'd never had the opportunity to manage a completely new set of musicians before either, let alone a group. Plus, being on the global marketing team? I couldn't turn it down."
"It makes sense why you joined us then, and I have to say, it's a blessing you did too. Music is a way of communication for me, a way I can best express my story. That includes my past, present, and hopefully future. After hearing all you shared, I don't think there's anyone else I'd trust with handling my album promos." Yoongi pauses a moment, unsure if he should ask the next thing on his mind. "How come we never met before? I mean really meet and talk?"
"Honestly, I'm not sure myself. But things have a way of falling into place when the time is right, I suppose." You're now looking at him, the intensity of your gaze mirrors his own. A gentle breeze tousles a few strands of your hair and for a split moment, Yoongi begins to understand what Taehyung meant earlier when he said it feels like he's known you his whole life, like a childhood friend he'd reconnected with. While it may not be to that extent for himself, there's a comforting warmth emanating from you that leaves him feeling strangely tranquil.
"Given the circumstances, I feel like we should have at least met through Taehyung by now," he slips out. "Or even at a company-sponsored event."
"Why, do you like me that much, Yoongi-ssi? After five days of working together?" Your playful tease catches him off guard, revealing a side of you he hadn't seen before. It's kind of cute-wait, what?
"I-"
"Sorry," you quickly interject, feeling the need to backtrack. "I shouldn't have said it like that."
"Don't worry, there's no need for apologies. And to answer your question, I like you enough." He hopes you can hear the tease in his own tone as he responds.
You both lapse into a comfortable silence for the next few minutes, the only sounds being the distant hum of traffic and the occasional chirp of a bird. He finds all of it soothing in a way he can't quite explain.
After a few minutes, you turn to him, your expression thoughtful. "You know, if you ever need to talk or just need a break, I'm here. We're teammates now."
Yoongi looks at you, his tired eyes softening with gratitude. "Thanks, __-ssi."
You give him a reassuring smile before pushing off the wall. "I'll let you finish your cigarette. See you later? And by later, I likely mean at 9 or 10 pm in our company elevator."
"Yeah, see you later," he laughs, watching as you walk back toward the building. He takes one last inhale, extinguishing the cigarette and letting the remaining smoke escape his lips slowly.
Yeah, he likes you just enough.
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a/n: Hope you enjoyed it! Lmk what you think 🥰
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no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton
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barrel-crow-n · 6 months ago
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Something that makes me crazy is the difference in how Kanej deals with their issues.
Kaz was hurt so he hurt others. He got scammed so he became the scammer. He was beaten up so he became the one beating people up. He found a way to thrive in the toxic cycle of violence in the Barrel. This keeps him alive, but makes him a bad person. Kaz doesn't care. Kaz left decency behind the second that was what was necessary to survive. He shrugged it off like a cheap coat. Don't like touch? Simple. Break anybodies wrist that dares touch you; break their arm. Give them a reason to keep away. Make them scared because that keeps you safe (and as a result will keep them safer from you).
Inej was hurt so she prevents others from being hurt. She hunts down slavers so children won't have the same fate as her. She can't just leave decency behind, her values and beliefs won't allow it. She does penance after every kill, she cried after killing the first time, she isn't keen on violence and only does it when completely necessary (at odds with Kaz that attacks at the slightest provocation to the point of everyone giving him a wide berth). The violence committed on her makes her angry (and righteously) but she doesn't lash out at everyone like Kaz does, she holds that back for a select few, to make them pay for the suffering they've caused.
Kaz felt like he died and became someone new so he leaned into it. He change his name from Rietveld to Brekker, he became someone new, a stranger. Nobody knew who he was, or where he came from. Kaz Rietveld was dead, and a monster had taken his place.
Inej also says that she feels like she died. She says that the girl she had been died in the belly of a slavers ship. However, unlike Kaz, she refuses to change her name. And dehumanisation links to this!
Kaz was dehumanised so he dehumanised himself further. Dirtyhands. Per Haskell's rabid dog. Demjin. Kaz thrives in this, because it makes him feel safe, it makes him feel untouchable. Kaz Rietveld was weak, so was replaced by Kaz Brekker. When that isn't enough, Dirtyhands is there to get the rough work done.
Inej was dehumanised so she humanised herself. She is not a lynx or a spider or a wraith. She is Inej Ghafa. She is a pirate vigilante, rescuer of slaves. And the interesting thing is that Kaz offered this to her too! He asks her "Is that what you prefer to be called?" (referring to her name, Inej Ghafa) when buying her indenture at the Menagerie. He is offering her the same thing he did. A change of name, a clean slate. But she declines. She is a Ghafa and no matter what happens to her, she always will be.
Kaz was traumatised so he isolated himself. He holds people at arms length because he sees them as weaknesses, or as obstacles between him and his revenge. He put his gloves on and doesn't take them off, he failed once with Imogen and decided to never try again. He yearns for connection but it only serves to isolate him further. Because they have no idea what it's like to watch friends hug, knowing you can never have the same. Kaz builds up armour (the gloves) but he doesn't tackle the root problem that is his fear of touch. He tried once and failed and quit (which is actually out of character for him, in contrast with him learning magic ceaselessly until he has mastered it - and shows how terrified he is and how disgusted he is at himself) and this serves to make him feel like he just can't. Like the dream of friends is hopeless.
Inej was traumatised so she seeks human connection. She has Jesper and Nina. She has the other Crows. She tries to heal, to open herself up. She might still flinch at touch occasionally but her friends are helping her and she wants to try and heal. She knows how to ask for help.
In all, Inej's ways of coping are a lot healthier. Kaz is stuck in a toxic cycle, and has been for years, but Inej is giving him a way out of it. Finally, he can make the step towards proper healing. He won't change his name back. He won't stop being a gangster. But he can feel more comfortable in himself and with his friends. And that's what Inej wants to give him, because she knows how important that is.
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iheartsteve0704 · 22 days ago
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Agathario | Workplace Enemies to Lovers AU
Agatha has been working her ass off at the NYT and in a few months will mark her 5th year there as a writer
They announce an open position and everyone in the office knows it’ll go to Agatha since she has seniority and she is hard worker
To her displeasure, the day she believes she’ll get her promotion (even blows out her hair, buys a new outfit, and gets a manicure) a new girl starts in the office and her name is Rio Vidal and she just took Agatha’s dream job
Agatha is fuming. Not only is Rio majorly younger than her but word around the office is that Rio got the position by being a nepo baby (spoiler alert: that’s far from the truth)
And to top it off, not only does Agatha’s boss asks her to show Rio around but Rio also happens to move into the apartment across from hers
Agatha gives Rio the cold shoulder and makes her opinion clear and straightforward, she doesn’t like her and she doesn’t want to be friends
Agatha is nothing but mean and hateful towards Rio, who doesn’t even blink at Agatha’s antics because she’s so used to people undermining her for being so young and successful
Agatha and Rio end up being paired for an article and they can’t even be in the same meeting room together alone without arguing
Agatha goes behind Rio’s back and writes the article without her and Rio ends up getting in major trouble with their boss
The older woman tried her best to avoid Rio all day until Rio corners her in the bathroom and confronts her
Agatha is pretends to be unbothered and it only pisses Rio off more who gets in her face and suddenly Agatha is pressed up against the tile wall and only a breath is left between them
Eyes flicker down and breathe hitches. It’s Agatha who closes the gap and Rio melts into the touch of Agatha’s hand on her waist
They try to avoid each other after this but keep being put in situations where they are alone and can’t keep their hands off each other
They start sleeping with each other and wake up in each other’s arms more times than they can keep track of and it’s clear sometimes is happening between them but every time Rio tries to tell Agatha how she feels, the older woman averts the topic right away because she doesn’t know how to do this and especially now with someone like Rio
People in the office are getting suspicious too and it makes Agatha nervous because she doesn’t want to lose her job so she starts being an absolute asshole to Rio, who is hurt and confused
When Rio confronts her about it Agatha tells her that them sleeping together is nothing but that, it’s just sex. That Agatha has no feelings for her whatsoever even though the truth is that she’s falling in love with Rio and it scares the hell out of her.
After their conversation, Rio avoids Agatha like the plague and gives her the cold shoulder. Agatha can’t deny it kills her every time Rio looks away or shys away from her touch but she tells herself it’s a good thing for her reputation and her job but she’s so so lonely and misses the warmth Rio brought into her life
When the big company holiday party comes around Agatha goes with her work friends and tries to not cry or scream or pass out when she sees Rio walk in wearing a low cut black dress with a beautiful woman who has an arm draped over her waist
Agatha watches them flirt and fawn over each other all night and it isn’t until she catches Rio eye towards the end that she knows that it’s all intentional, to drive Agatha crazy
Agatha has to stop herself from banging on Rio’s door that night and instead drinks herself into oblivion and falls asleep on the couch with her evening dress still on
It’s a constant back and forth after that, Rio parading different woman and Agatha dating shitty men because she knows no other woman could ever compare
Agatha’s “friends” notice she’s been in a slump, not knowing the real truth with Rio, so they decide to take her out to the club and Agatha only agreed because she wants to drink and dance and just forget the past few months of hell
Her friends ditch her to dance and Agatha sets up shop at the bar where gross men keep trying to start up conversation with her
She keeps shooting down one after another and has another rejection on the tip of her tongue when she notices it’s a woman
Agatha welcomes it until the woman starts getting really handsy and Agatha is way too drunk to be in this situation
She tries her best to back down and reject her but the girl isn’t listening and keeps pushing Agatha past her limits
Agatha looks around at the bystanders with pleading eyes and feels relief when she hears a familiar voice say “is everything okay here, sweetheart?” And slide inbetween herself and the woman. Rio.
Rio protectively puts her arm around Agatha’s waist and gives the other woman a frightening death glare until she turns away in fear.
As soon as the girl leaves, Rio starts to pull away but Agatha keeps her close. They look at each other and those blue eyes tell all
Rio decides to be chivalrous and walk Agatha home and gets her situated into her bed
When Rio is about to leave Agatha grabs her wrist and whispers “I miss you” and pulls her in for a kiss. Rio melts into it for a moment until she comes to. Rio knows Agatha won’t remember this the next day.
Rio ends up resigning on Monday because she can’t deal with seeing Agatha everyday when all it does is break her heart
Agatha is confused and alarmed and when she tries to confront Rio at her door she comes to realize that she apartment is empty and she’s moved out
Agatha hears through the grape vine that Rio is moving to San Francisco for a new job and Agatha can’t take that, can’t take Rio being gone from her life for good and then she realizes how fucking stupid she’s been and that no job or reputation mattered when the woman she loves is about to leave her for good
She rushes to the airport and finds Rio sitting at her gate, her head in her heads. Shes clearly crying.
Agatha runs to her and sinks down on the floor in front of her, putting her hands gently on her knees until Rio looks up at her with glassy eyes and red cheeks
Agatha pleads repeatedly, apologizes profusely, and cries when she tries to explain how stupid she’s been.
Then Agatha finally tells her that she’s in love with her and that she’ll follow her anywhere she wants to go whether it be SF, New York, or anywhere in the world because all roads lead to Rio because there’s no one like her and no one has ever made Agatha feel like this before
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hazelsmirrorball · 11 months ago
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Back To December | Charles Leclerc
SUMMARY: Charle's Pop singer girlfriend drops a song in honor of Charles FACE CLAIM: Sabrina Carpenter pairings: Singer! Reader x Charles Leclerc authors note: Christmas Vibes!!
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liked by taylorswift, charles_leclerc, and 4,050,245 others
y/n surprise! i love you guys so so much that I decided to give you guys an early christmas gift... Back to December is out now!
view all 5,694 comments
y/nsmirrorball I'm sorry what?
y/nsferrari you can't keep getting away this!!!
user5 Back to December, you know what also happen in December?
→user6 what?
→user5 Y/n and Charles break up was announced on December
→user7 you are reaching so bad. How do you even know this.
→user6 no because I get it
taylorswift in love with this song
→ y/n I'm in love with you
y/nlover real music is back!!
user10 omg! omg! Charles is in the likes!! WHAT DOES THIS MEAN
→user12 IT MEANS THAT OUR PARENTS ARE BACK TOGETHER.
via twitter
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charles_leclerc via instagram stories.
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y/nxcharlesupdates via instagram
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liked by arthur_leclerc, user101, user10 and 1,245 others
y/nxcharlesupdates things are pretty wild right now. Today is one year since Y/n and Charles broke up and we prayed for them to have an interaction but this wasn't the answer we expected. Y/n dropping a song unannounced after a being on break for almost a year and a half and Charles congratulating her in her stories after posting a picture of some roses. I truly believe this is a petty war.
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user10 no because Charles is being so shady and I'm here for it. Have you guys even seen the time stamp, he. would go back to December!!! he misses her bad.
user68 I love that we are assuming everything, she didn't say the song was about Charles!
→user6 girl are you dumb? I want to be as oblivious as you are....
user5 Arthur in the likes? He knows something we don't
user9 okay but we all have to agree that back to December is the anthem of December. Fuck all I want for christmas is you or whatever
user5 Y/n and Charles break up was announced on December
user7 Charles is in his reputation era and I'm here for it!!!
→user6 I usually support women's wrongs but right now I want peace
user11 my parents will get back together
→user45 Girl. Keep dreaming
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y/nxcharlesupdates via instagram
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liked by user1023, user101, user10 and 1,245 others
y/nxcharlesupdates guess we are technically back in December :)
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user10 what the actual fuck
user5 screaming, crying, throwing up.
user9 they want tea pages to go crazy
user5 Y/n and Charles are back together in december
user7 wake up and make up
→user6 starting the New Years right!!
user11 I support this
user45 the world is healing
user68 hun, what's this? @ynnn
→ynnn what? I was clear when I said I would go back to December
...
The cold breeze hit y/n’s body making her cover herself for some type of warmth. She was starting to regret doing this. It felt she was doing something wrong, she could feel the guilt eating her away. Yet she couldn’t manage to knock on the door in front of her. Maybe this wasn’t the best idea, maybe she should just go back home and act like she didn’t see his car parked in the driveway and pretend he wasn’t home. She wished she could just go back to the night where everything happened, take back every word that haunts her at night. She wished she would’ve stayed and maybe things would have been different. She wanted him, she wanted everything she had before. 
Before she even had the chance to knock on the door she was faced with those soft eyes she had fallen for. She slowly pulled her hand down and stared at him, taking him in completely. 
“I was debating on opening the door. But it’s too cold to let you outside. I’m not that mean” Charles said, moving to the side so she could enter. Y/n slowly entered the room noticing that it was practically the same as the day she left. As she looked around she noticed how Charles stood awkwardly in front of her wanting for her to speak. She debated on what to say first, not wanting to risk her chances. 
“Happy Birthday” She managed to get out, as she did, her words echoed through her head she scrunched up her face in embarrassment. She knew it wasn’t his birthday but she had decided not to text him that day. She needed to start somewhere. She needed him to know that if they loved again, she would love him right. 
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thankskenpenders · 11 months ago
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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.
First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.
Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.
The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...
I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.
The why
I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.
Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.
But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)
The what, how, and when
So here's the plan.
Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.
After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.
I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.
I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.
So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?
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rewh0re · 11 months ago
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MORE THAN JUST A DREAM ; GETO SUGURU
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—wc: 3.2k, fluff, no curses au, college au, alcohol consumption, new year's kiss, ocs (reader's friends are ocs), implied oc x gojo, use of the pronoun 'she' once (except that it's gn! reader), gojo is RICH
a/n: I had to repost don't even ask it wouldn't show up in tags😐 anyways happy new year baby boos take this geto fic as a gift. REBLOGS + FEEDBACKS ARE APPRECIATED!!
divider cred: @/benkeibear
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Gojo Satoru's annual New Year's Eve parties were a lavish affair. Set in the luxurious penthouse that he owned which he would only use for parties he hosted. There was a myriad of alcohol—all from the finest and most renowned brands—to choose from. There was music, there was dancing, there was a fucking champagne fountain for Christ's sake.
For a party hosted by some college student, it sure was a grand event. From freshmen to seniors, everyone attended it, dressed in their finest cocktail attires and fancy shoes.
For a party with so many attractions to catch the eye, Gojo Satoru and his best friend Geto Suguru took the cake. The pair could never be separated, may it be in the various parties and events they attended or when they were strolling the college campus. While Gojo was the louder, more exuberant and outgoing out of the two, Geto's genuine smile—whenever he was around his best friend—was hard to miss.
It was Geto's smile that always made your heart flutter.
You remember the first time you had noticed Geto Suguru. A simple, ravishingly attractive man, who sat two seats in front of you. He probably was not the teacher's favourite with the way he often got into little discussions and debates with the professors regarding the day's topics if he disagreed with certain aspects of it. Always polite and respectful but with a conniving smile on his lips nonetheless if he proved his point of view to be correct. His voice was always calm in class and he never stepped back from expressing his opinions. You thought it was a phenomenal quality to have.
You would see him often during breaks, his usual spot being a few tables away from yours. His rambunctious best friend was always at his side along with a girl who would always have a cigarette between her lips. Shoko Ieiri—you later learnt—was her name. Your friends and you would often not care, but sometimes, Gojo's mirthful laughter echoed throughout the area and you were bound to see Geto shake his head with a little snicker of his own at his friend's nuances. That's how you came to know of Geto. A well sought after, smart, insanely attractive and—from what you've heard— a polite and kind individual. You had admired Geto from a distance for a whole of three years now. The conversations you had with him could be counted on one hand but he had always been sweet to you. You wondered if he even remembered you. You did have flings here and there but you had always had that little spot of affection in your heart for the man who was Geto Suguru.
In the three years that you have been in this college of yours, you have never attended Gojo Satoru's new year's eve parties. You had heard stories and every year you had promised yourself to attend it. However, every year your mother called you back home to celebrate the holidays with your family and you could never deny it. Your friends initially complained but they understood your position and promised to tell you all the things that happened. One year you heard the crazy new year's kiss one of your friends had with a boy she met there and how magical it all seemed. The other year they told you how Gojo and Geto both got shit faced drunk and danced to every song until they physically dropped on the floor, unable to move and Shoko had to come take them away with a sigh. You learnt how Gojo normally avoided alcohol, feasting on the many desserts instead and how Geto and Shoko were often seen smoking a cigarette on the balcony together. You too wanted to attend this annual event, that was like a myth to you.
This year allowed that. With your father planning an impromptu vacation for only your mother and himself, you had the perfect opportunity to finally attend the party you had wanted to go to since your freshman year.
It was 31st December and you were beyond excited. Your friends had been elated to know that you would finally visit Gojo's party with them and they took it upon themselves to get you dolled up and ready for it, paying no heed to your complaints of "I can do it myself."
That's how you found yourself in Gojo's penthouse. The place was bustling with noises—music, talking, whistles (which you assumed were directed to the people who were dancing). The place was huge, something way out of your imagination. There were lights and decorations that increased the beauty of the place ten folds. And there was that goddamned champagne fountain that everyone talked about. “Gojo Satoru is rich,” was the very first thought that crossed your mind after a moment of awe and speechlessness.
"He's crazy rich," your friend, Aoi, laughed.
Oh, so your thoughts might have slipped out from your mouth.
"I'm sure Geto is too. Didn't you see his motorcycle in the parking area? That has to belong to some super loaded dude," your other friend, Saeko commented.
"Didn't you have a thing for Geto, y/n?" Saeko wiggled her eyebrows at you as she crossed her arms, a smirk evident on her lips.
"Eh, kinda. I mean, he's okay to look at I guess," you shrugged, making your way to the bar. The college parties you went to never had a bar. The alcohol had to be derived from the kitchen and most of the time, it was some sort of jungle juice.
"Oh shut up, you like him," Aoi smacked your back as she settled herself beside you on the bar stool.
"I never denied that," you winked at her as you downed the tequila, the bartender served the three of you.
"Having fun so far?" An unknown voice made the three of you turn your heads. Gojo Satoru. Standing tall in front of you, a lazy grin on his face and for heaven knows what reason his stupid sunglasses covering his eyes even at 11 in the night.
"Gojo Satoru," Saeko crossed her legs, leaning back on the bar counter as she smiled at him.
"In the flesh ma'am," he winked at her. A charming wink that girls would often faint over.
"That didn't answer my question though. Having fun?" He asked again.
"What would you offer as compensation if we said we weren't," he laughed at Saeko's little bantering comment. He knew she didn't mean it. Everyone had the time of their lives at Gojo Satoru's party.
"Oh Saeko, you have been coming here for the past two years. No need to lie to me, sweetheart. However—if I have, by chance—failed you this year, do dance with me. That'll be compensation enough," he winked at her.
"And they say chivalry is dead," your friend shook her head.
"I noticed you brought a friend this year?" His eyes raked over to you as he offered you a welcoming smile.
You returned it with a wave of your own.
"That's y/n. She didn't wanna miss out on this year's party," Aoi introduced you as she sipped on her strawberry daiquiri.
"Great to meet you y/n. I hope my little party meets your expectations," before you could counter his comment of the party being "little" a velvet smooth voice laced with mild jest interrupted your conversation.
"Don't annoy the guests Satoru," and there he was beside his best friend, Geto Suguru. His long black hair tied in a semi bun, an earring dangling from his right ear and a cheshire grin on his lips. Geto Suguru was a beautiful man to look at.
"I could never do that Suguru," Gojo turned to look at his best friend as his grin widened.
"Saeko brought a friend with her. I was just acquainting myself. Meet y/n."
Geto's eyes slid over to your figure, his smile softening. You could feel yourself warming up under his soft and welcoming gaze.
"You are in my psychology class," he said as he offered you his hand for a shake.
"I am," you shook his hand, the feeling of his fingers against yours, erupting little butterflies in your stomach. The coolness of his many rings against your warm hand sent shivers down your spine.
"I think I need that dance Gojo," Saeko said over the blasting music and the male was quick to respond. Giving her his hand, Gojo led your friend away towards the dance floor. She turned around to wink at you and Aoi before the pair disappeared.
You could only laugh at her antics. Saeko was a known flirt and you had heard how every year she would have a little fun with Gojo. This was the first time you had seen it and you could not help but laugh. Good god that girl knew what she was doing.
"Every damn year this happens," Geto chuckled as he leaned on the counter behind you. "I don't know if I want those two to be together or not with how much they flirt on this one day every year."
Aoi excused herself with a smirk, leaving you alone with Geto. Based on how the night went, you would either thank her or strangle her, but that was a problem for later.
"Why have I never seen you here y/n?" Geto looked over at you, tilting his head in question. His smile never left his face.
"Got caught up with my family every year. Decided to be here for a change," you ordered a glass of sangria, diverting from the tequila you were having earlier.
"I hope you can hold your liquor,"
"Aren't you a gentleman Geto," you smiled up at him.
"Oh yeah I definitely am," he nodded his head, mocking your smile. "Call me Suguru."
"Okay Suguru," you pat his shoulder.
"Care for a dance?" He looked at the dancing bodies and then at you, motioning his head towards the dance floor.
"Uhh, I've got two left feet. I'm afraid I'll scare people away with my dancing," you cringed.
His jubilant laughter filled your ears as his head rolled back, eyes crinkling. Your eyes widened slightly at the beauty of the sight in front of you. You did not quite understand if the slight intoxicating feeling that you felt was due to the alcohol you consumed or the laugh that he offered. 
"Don't worry about that. Half of us got two left feet, me included. Come on," before you could protest, Geto was already pulling you towards the dance floor.
The next few seconds were a whirlwind. One second you were sipping your sangria and the next you were in the middle of the dance floor, a hoard of sweaty bodies surrounding you and Geto's hands held your waist tightly. You hesitantly wrapped your arms around his neck as he smiled reassuringly at you. Your initial nervousness faded as Geto started swaying to the beat. Before you could process anything, you were there with him, living in the moment. You both danced to the music as his arms wrapped around you, twirling you around and swaying you. Somewhere between your dancing, you spotted Gojo and Saeko. She twirled in his arms, laughing as she landed on his chest.
"Cute aren't they?" Geto screamed in your ear over the blasting music.
"She never told me about this," you shook your head at him.
"Oh this is their annual ritual. They'll flirt for one night and pretend that the other does not exist for the rest of the year," he twirled you again. "I've told Satoru to just date her and he always says 'nah she is not into me.' I swear to god he's so stupid at times,"
"I think they'd make a hot couple, don't you?" You smiled at your dance partner.
"Oh absolutely."
Geto could feel a sense of warmth in his chest as he saw you letting yourself free, enjoying and dancing to your heart's extent. The pounding in his chest increased and he blamed it on his dancing.
He had always known you as the quiet student in his psychology class who sometimes answered the professor's questions. The few times you had talked was in class whenever you had to add points to open discussions. He had always found you to be pretty. He didn't know you personally till now, but he had seen you with Saeko, sitting a few tables away from theirs. He was glad he finally got to talk to the person he had been gaining the courage to talk to properly for a while now.
"Wanna get out of here?" He asked you as he pulled you close.
"Where are you gonna take me?" You poked his nose.
Geto laced his fingers with yours and pulled you out of the crowded area as he took you upstairs. He led you to a balcony that looked down at the city below. You had never really been this high up somewhere so you were awestruck by the view. The cars zoomed past below and the city donned a look you had never seen before. Lights decorated the buildings, light dusts of snow covered the streets as they fell from the sky above.
"Like what you see huh?" Geto snickered.
"This is wonderful—what—I have been missing several things," you leaned over the balcony to get a better look.
"Easy now, don't want you falling over. Also, yeah. This is like my escape, you know. When I get a bit exhausted by the party I come here, especially for the new year's countdown. I like seeing the fireworks," you had completely forgotten that it was new year's in a few minutes now.
"Shit how long since it's the new year?" You gasped at him.
Geto took out his phone from his pocket, squinting his eyes at the screen before putting it away.
"Uh four more minutes," he leaned on the balcony railing as he looked at you.
You could hear the test firecrackers going off in the distance. One then two and they stopped for a moment.
"You look absolutely gorgeous by the way," he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear.
"You don't look too bad yourself. I especially like what you've done with your hair," you gestured at your own to make him understand.
"You like my hair?"
"Oh absolutely. It's stunning. Do tell me your hair care routine."
"Maybe I can text it to you?" He dipped his head down towards you.
"Are you asking for my number Geto Suguru?" You gasped in mock surprise. "Scandalous."
He was opening his mouth to probably say something witty when you both heard it. The countdown to the new year. Loud voices from the floor below started counting. The last ten seconds of this year.
10...
You both looked at the door and then at each other as you shared a small laugh.
9...
He came ever so close to you.
8...
His gaze was set on your eyes as you fiddled with the locket that rested on your chest. The intensity of his gaze made your insides jump.
7...
His hand travelled down to your waist, holding it with a light grip.
6...
Your eyes travelled down from his dark obsidian eyes to his lips as he licked them with a swipe of his tongue. What you would give to just feel them on yours.
5...
"You know I always did think you were a beautiful person. From the moment I first saw you in psychology," he whispered, his breath hot on your face.
4...
"Yea I kinda thought you were okay looking too,"
3...
He laughed at your comment as he pulled you closer by your waist, “just okay?”
2...
You could feel his lips hovering over yours, his eyes fluttering shut just like yours.
“Just okay…” you whispered.
1...
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
The echoes of the plethora of drunk college kids had become background noises the moment you crashed your lips on his.
You could hear the confetti pop and the firecrackers burst lighting the dark midnight sky with a million colours but all that mattered in the moment were his lips that moved in perfect sync with yours. Your hands gripped his hair as his own grip on your waist became tighter. He trapped you against the balcony railing and one of his hands came up to cup your face as he slightly tilted his head in a way to deepen the kiss. You could feel his lips perfectly fit with yours, a taste of mint on his tongue. His cologne invaded your senses, jumbling up your mind further. He smelled of nashi pear, cardamom and vetiver with a hint of woody musk. You felt yourself falling apart due to his entrancing aroma. Kissing Geto Suguru made your stomach do several somersaults and your heart was so erratic in its beating, it could jump out of your ribcage. This felt like a dream. Hell, was this even real?
You pulled away for breath as your eyes scanned his face. There was adoration in his own two dark eyes and something akin to lust.
"Happy new year Suguru," you raked your finger through his hair as his head dropped down on your shoulder.
"Happy new year y/n," he planted a gentle kiss on your shoulder before pecking your neck.
A loud squeal in the very next second, broke the two of you apart.
"OH MY GOD SUGURU, YOU'RE GETTING BITCHES?" Gojo Satoru was smiling mischievously with Saeko by his side.
"Shut up Satoru," Suguru groaned at his best friend rolling his eyes in annoyance.
"I hate you so much, your timing is the worst," he flipped him off before pulling you to his side.
"In my defence I didn't know you would bring someone here this year. Every year you are alone—"
"SHUT UP SATORU," Geto yelled in embarrassment as a tint of red covered his cheeks.
"You don't bring girls here often?" You asked amused.
"Oh he never does. This is the first time!" Gojo stated proudly.
"You're annoying them Satoru," Saeko smacked Gojo's head as the latter whined about everyone being mean to him.
"Ok what is going on? I searched the whole penthouse and you all are here?" A panting Aoi burst through the door.
"Y/n got the guy," Saeko said casually and it was your turn to turn a shade of red.
"SAEKO!?"
"Y/n got the guy? You mean Geto?" She looked over at the two of you as Geto waved at her with a smile.
"Ok this is huge?! Y/n oh my god finally," she squealed in her hands.
"Ok the lot of you can leave you know? Just give us some time alone, geez," you ushered your friends away including Gojo who would not leave without giving Suguru a rough smack on his back.
"Did you like me? You know, before this?" He took your hand in his as he rubbed circles on the back of each of them.
"Kind of," you sighed. "I mean I guess I did have a small crush on you?"
"Okay so now we definitely need that number," he tilted your chin up as he pecked you lightly before bumping his forehead with your.
You could say you had a pretty eventful start to the new year.
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drunk-person · 4 days ago
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The tomb of liars (The Gossip) P.10
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Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x cousin!reader
Summary: One of the most talked about gossips among the lower class servants in Kings Landing is the fact (or not) that Aemond Targaryen got involved with his cousin Y/n Targaryen when they were both teenagers. Mainly due to the fact that at the age of 17 she was sent to Old Town overnight. Some employees claim that Aemond was caught between her legs. Some say that, like her father, she had had a horrible fight with her uncle and aunt and was sent away. And other than that none of this happened, she just became interested in the course offered at the Old Town conservatory. But now five years later, Y/n Targaryen is back, and rumors haunt those who favor them.
This chapter is a part of a main story The gossip, you can find the previous chapter, summary and general tags by accessing the link.
Summary of the chapter: Back five years ago, to the tragic night that changed a life and forever altered every dream.
Warnings of the chapter: 18+, pounds and pounds of teenage romance, teenagers being totally crazy and hormonal, teenagers discovering themselves, young love, family fights, dysfunctional family, severe trauma, mentions of depression, religious guilt, mention of purification rituals, no description for reader.
Word count: 16.500 k
A/n: I hope you enjoy the new chapter. For those who want the songs of the chapter: Demons by Boyce Avenue and You've Got A Way by Shania
*The author strongly advises using a tissue box
"Good morning Kings Landing, it seems that Y/n Targaryen, known daughter of Prince Rouge, left our city for an indefinite period of time the night before. The Targaryen family did not inform the reason, the only thing that is known is that apparently she decided to spend some time in Old Town with her aunt's family. Doesn't look much like our girl, does it?"
❦❦❦
After the first time they made love, it became an addiction for Aemond and Y/n that neither of them could give up. It was like when they learned to kiss a few years before, but much worse. And after a few times using condoms, the two decided together that they would like to try without, with that in mind they went stealthily to a pharmacy in the Flea Basin after class to buy birth control pills for Y/n without even looking properly at the pharmacist in the process for fear of being recognized by someone.
Everything got even better if that was possible, neither of them could keep their hands to themselves no matter how hard they tried, their brains seemed to be controlled exclusively by crazy hormones that made them jump on each other whenever they had the chance. Like on a particularly boring night when they went to dinner at the luxurious restaurant of the Aegon's Fort hotel and during dinner the two of them ran off to make out in the hidden bathroom, exchanging kisses uncontrollably amid euphoric laughter.
Little by little they were discovering things about each other's bodies, they became wilder about it and less careful. Like when on a trip to Harrenhall in the ancient history seminar everyone decided to go to a party and as the two of them danced too close to each other, Aemond started saying dirty things in Y/n's ear and caressing her in a way that was too intimate for a dance floor in a public place full of acquaintances. When the club's lights went out during a small power outage, he had two fingers buried deep in her heat, and she sighed against his neck, grabbing him shamelessly.
Every time Viserys traveled on business and took Alicent with him, the two of them do whatever they wanted with the peace of mind that they would not be caught. Like the day they stole a bottle of wine from the cellar and drank it to the end, having gotten terribly drunk for the first time in their lives, alone and hidden in the attic of the mansion.
Dancing to an old song that neither of them knew, but that Aemond had put on to play on the old record player that had been stored away for years. Spinning around on the wooden floor until they could no longer stand and fell onto the carpet, hugging each other and just laughing like idiots lying on the floor while they admired each other, exchanging sweet kisses and soft caresses, talking in characteristic voices with alcohol slurred voices.
-Aemond? - S/n's laughing, alcohol-slurred voice sounded as she stared at him, slightly cross-eyed.
-Hmm? - He stared back at her, laughing, his eyes slightly lost.
-The roof is spinning for me. Is it spinning for you too? - She asked, holding back her laughter and looking up again.
-Yeah. Fucking spinning. - The oldest confirmed, dragging his own hand across the floor until he reached hers and held it affectionately between his fingers.
-How does Aegon manage to do this all the time? - She laid her head to the side, looking at him and laughing at her own dizziness.
-I have no idea, but I'm sure I can't get up from the floor without falling. - Aemond murmured, laughing, caressing the palm of her hand, tracing the lines delicately.
-Do you think they really tell destiny? - Y/n bit her lips curved in a questioning and slightly silly smile. - Hel thinks so.
-Nonsense. - Aemond rolled his eyes a little credulous and his voice slurred. - We chose our own destiny, I chose you to be mine. - He left a kiss on their intertwined hands. - But if they did, your name would definitely be written on mine.
-And yours in mine. - Her eyes shining as she gently pulled him into a kiss full of innocent affection, gently brushing her nose against his while Aemond held her hand firmly next to his.
They both got really good at not getting caught. The problem is that when you get really good at something you tend to underestimate the intelligence of the people around you.
Like the night Aegon found out everything by catching Aemond sucking on S/n's nipple while he fucked her in the pool on a particularly hot midnight, when Viserys and Alicent were traveling once again. It started innocently enough, just like everything else in their lives, the two were just watching a movie cuddled up on the couch when S/n suggested that he could take a dip in the pool since they were alone, making Aemond agree.
They were just swimming around each other while cooling off, splashing each other and laughing. Until when they were both almost at their peak, Aegon's shrill scream echoed throughout the garden along with the sound of the table with an umbrella that was in the pool area falling to the ground when the oldest leaned on it in shock, knocking it over in process.
-You shouldn't be home! - Aemond shouted with his eyes slightly wide as he and Y/n readjusted their underwear to cover themselves. - It should be in your house! What the fuck are you doing here?
-And you two shouldn't be fucking in the fucking pool! - Aegon shouted with his hands on his head, looking around in shock as Aemond got out of the water and went towards him.
-Stop screaming! - Y/n hissed in a whisper and followed Aemond out of the pool with her entire body red with embarrassment, feeling her cheeks burning. - Someone is going to hear you, you idiot!
-You can't tell your mother anything about this! - Aemond spoke very seriously, but with his skin equally flushed, staring at his older brother. - Seriously, Aegon!
-Do you think I'm stupid? - He chuckled ironically, turning his body backwards while rolling his eyes. -Fuck, she’s going to go so crazy when she finds out about this. - The oldest of the three put his hands on his head while cursing visibly in panic. - Damn. Damn. Fuck.
-She won't find out anything! - Aemond hissed. - We're going to tell her! But only in a few years when no one can do anything about it.
-How long have you been doing this? - The oldest whispered, looking from one to the other, still shocked.
-Some time. - Y/n murmured, looking at the back of Aemond's head as she tried to cover herself by wearing his shirt, as she was only wearing her panties and bra when the two jumped into the pool.
-Oh shit! - Aegon made an instant grimace of shock when he heard that.
-What are you doing here anyway? - Aemond hissed, changing the subject as he put on the black shorts he was wearing earlier.
-Jaehaerys forgot that weird stuffed caterpillar Hel gave him here. - Aegon rolled his eyes, momentarily distracted as he spoke about his son. - He doesn't sleep without her.
-You left Jaehaerys alone? - Y/n widened her eyes at the suddenly shrill voice.
-Yes, I left my two-year-old baby alone in my apartment. - The eldest rolled his eyes ironically. - Obviously not Y/n, my maid, Mr. Dancil is with him.
-By the Gods. - Aegon grumbled one last time, looking from his brother to his cousin in deep shock before entering the mansion in search of the stuffed caterpillar with his hands clasped behind his neck.
Just as promised, Aegon didn't say anything about what he had seen in the pool. After the scare that night, both Y/n and Aemond had become more careful about touching in public. But that didn't stop Aemond from leaving love notes or openly depraved notes signed with just an "A" in Y/n's locker every time he passed by on his way to advanced calculus class. Or that he would place his hands on her thighs as they studied at a picnic table tucked away on the school grounds.
-I'm worried, Aem. - She mumbled with a frown, leaning over her books as she felt him caressing soft circles under the hem of her cheer uniform skirt, absentmindedly, while he wrote something in his own notebook with his other hand.
-Mmmm. - He mumbled, frowning, putting the pen aside and staring at her. - What is it?
-I barely understand this subject with your help, I have no idea what I'm going to do in my senior year when you're in college. - She huffed resignedly, making a loose strand of hair fly over her eye.
-You'll do fine either way. - Aemond laughed when he saw a caricature of the calculus teacher with a lightning bolt striking him in the head in the upper corner of Y/n's book and smiled drumming his fingers gently on her leg. - You shouldn't underestimate yourself so much. You got a good grade on the last test.
-You know very well that I looked at Elyrio's answers on that test Aem. - She sighed laughingly, looking at him from under her eyelashes.
-And you know very well that that's cheating. - He murmured ironically, drawing a gentle circle on her thigh with his fingertips.
-Only if I get caught! - She rolled her eyes, biting her lower lip as she arched her eyebrow at him laughingly.
-I can't wait to be free of all this and be able to do only what I want. - She smiled, still lying her head on the picnic table, imagining the future.
-Just a year and a half. - Aemond murmured with a slight smile on his lips, lightly squeezing her thigh under her skirt. - And we will be far from all this, starting our own lives.
Her eyes lit up instantly when she heard him say those words, and with a smile Aemond guided his free hand to her hair, leaving a gentle caress on her scalp, continuing to speak in a low and cheerful voice.
-I've even looked at some apartments for us, temporary of course. Just until we finish the college, so we can get rid of all this madness and buy our own home. - He smiled beautifully at her. - You'll love one of them, it's in Aegon's building, but it has a beautiful view.
Y/n had to restrain herself with all her strength not to jump on him and kiss him right there when she heard him talking so lovingly about the plans he had for the two of them.
-I'll make everything beautiful! - She smiled excitedly, looking at him, already lifting her head from the table. - We could paint the walls yellow, what do you think? It would bring joy to the environment, buildings are so sad. - She curled her lips thoughtfully. - And plants! - Y/n smiled even more, closing her eyes and imagining. - I'll put several of them everywhere, with lots of flowers.
-Don't put plants near my books, Highness. - He rolled his eyes. - Or it will make them grow mold.
-Okay. - Y/n was barely listening as she imagined everything with excitement and Aemond couldn't help but smile just by seeing her smiling.
-I have to go to fencing. - He rolled his eyes when he saw that free time was almost over.
-Oh you won't believe it… - She smiled mischievously biting her lower lip and staring at him.
-What did you do?
-I convinced the student council that the fencing team needs cheerleaders as much as any other team in the school… this means... - She winked at Aemond gracefully making him laugh and shake his head negatively. - Saturday I'll be there courtside with my pom poms cheering for you!
-The correct term is piste. - He smiled ironically, unable to stop himself from pulling her into a hug and murmuring against her hair.
-Whatever, I'll root for you to destroy them all anyway. - She laughed, rolling her eyes and placing a kiss on his cheek that left a pink lipstick mark.
❦❦❦
The months seemed to fly by, Aemond's 18th birthday had arrived and with it the end of summer vacation. Y/n and he had taken a month-long trip to Dorne with the excuse of visiting Helaena at college together, the two of them actually visited her but obviously did a lot more in their free time. With Y/n driving Aemond crazy and buying almost half the clothes in the city. While he rolled his eyes and said that if she was good and had the kindness to go with him to the main bookstore he could let her play designer with him.
It had been an incredible month, the two of them living alone in Dorne doing only what they wanted, he almost forgot that there was a life beyond that. It was almost like in their dreams where there was only love and happiness, but now they were home again and reality called.
Aemond was lying on the bed motionless, stared at the ceiling. He was going to college on Monday, and had seriously thought about staying at home for another year and moving out only the following year, but the reason would be too obvious and they didn't want to raise any more suspicions.
He and Y/n could do this, they would see each other whenever possible since he was going to KLU (Kings Landing University). When they asked if he didn't want to study abroad, Aemond promptly replied that he would like to study in Kings Landing, since one of the best and oldest universities was in the city and he could do an internship at the family company. Omitting the main reason, Y/n was in Kings Landing, and he wouldn't go anywhere without her.
The sound of the door slowly opening took him out of his thoughts and he smiled when he saw Y/n entering his room wearing a pearly satin cardigan down to her knees. She locked the door behind her and with a smile ran towards Aemond's bed, throwing the cardigan aside, jumping on the sheets and crawling under the duvet.
-Come here. - Aemond pulled her into a side hug and she laid her head against his bare chest.
Y/n caressed his hand and looked at him from under her eyelashes, Aemond immediately knew that she wanted something and was not finding the words to tell him.
-What happened? - He asked, caressing her cheek with his fingertips.
And Y/n, still unable to find words, brought her hand to his chin and pulled him in for a kiss. The two continued kissing languidly in sync, and she climbed onto Aemond's lap, sitting on his thighs, making the grayish nightgown she was wearing rise up her own thighs.
She stared at Aemond as she bit her lower lip gently and nervously reached for the hem of her nightgown, pulling it up and revealing her completely naked body underneath. And even though by now Aemond had seen her naked hundreds of times, he was still mesmerized by the sight of her beautiful body.
-Happy birthday. - She said, looking at him slightly shyly, which was confusing Aemond since Y/n hadn't been shy around him for a while. She walked around naked in front of him as if it were nothing, she was confident in her own body because she knew Aemond idolized it. And suddenly he worried that he had done something that had made her insecure.
-Did I do something that made you uncomfortable? - He asked as he gently stroked her waist and looked into her eyes.
-No, I just want to do something different today. - She sighed, looking into his eyes. - Something we've never done before.
-What? - He asked curiously, still caressing her waist.
Y/n placed her hands over Aemond's, removing them from her waist and guiding them to her ass, and sighing when she felt Aemond squeeze her gently.
-Y/n. - Aemond looked at her very seriously as he began to understand the connotation of what she meant.
-This is your gift. The last part of me that hasn't been yours yet. - She said against his neck with a soft and gentle voice as she left a gentle kiss on the scar on his shoulder.
-You don't need to do that. - He sighed against her soft hair, feeling that sweet and soft scent that made his soul happy. - I never asked you to do that. - Aemond looked into her eyes with nothing but affection as he caressed her bare back with his fingertips. - You don't need to feel like you have to do anything to please me, you know that.
-I want Aem. - She smiled with her hands against his cheeks, caressing him sweetly with the tips of her thumbs, tracing every mark and every line on Aemond's skin. - I want you in every way and in every possible way. - She murmured, looking into his eyes with such a passionate glow that Aemond almost lost his breath.
-I would let you do anything to me, and however you wanted because I know that with you it will always be good. - She slowly traced his soft lips with the tip of her index finger, smiling with a candid look that did not match at all the situation they were in. - Please Aemond, accept my gift.
-I love you. - He murmured very quietly close to her, his lips almost touching the shell of her ear.
That night, like every part of herself that Y/n had ever offered him, Aemond accepted willingly, taking her for himself with passion and desire, completely aware of the fact that Y/n was totally and entirely his, with every piece of herself that she was able to give him.
❦❦❦
It was being harder than they both imagined to get through that year. Aemond had no idea how bad it would be not to see Y/n every day and night and how much he would miss her. The two exchanged calls and messages, but it still wasn't enough. They met religiously in the meadow near Kings Wood every Saturday morning and would lie on the flowers talking for hours to kill the longing, laughing hugging each other while looking at the white clouds in the sky.
-I'm going to stay in the dorm until the end of the year, I don't want to move without you. - He whispered to her in the second week, when after he complained about the noise the other students were making, Y/n suggested that he leave right away and go to the apartment, making her roll her eyes and hug him tightly.
Aemond took advantage of those moments to help Y/n with the work and tasks that she couldn't understand, and almost always ended up doing her calculus homework while rolling his eyes and saying that this was the last time, as he always did every time he did her homework since they were both children.
One of the days after Aemond said that he would probably have to give up fighting or fencing for a while while he adapted to college, the two ended up once again with Aemond trying to teach some moves to Y/n, who just smiled and left occasional kisses on his chin, making him roll his eyes.
-Every time we do this I feel like I'm in kung fu panda. - She laughed, biting her lower lip and looking at him, not taking it seriously. - It's like I'm Po and you're Master Shi-fu.
-First of all, this drawing doesn't make sense. - Aemond rolled his eyes, grabbing her arm and gently turning her around, keeping her trapped against his body. - And if we were there, I'd definitely be Po and you'd be Tigress.
-I like that! - She laughed without caring about being trapped by his arms looking at him over her shoulder. - I want a stuffed panda bear now to name him Aemond!
-Mmmmm. - Aemond rolled his eyes deeply, throwing his head back as he moaned at her words.
-You're the one who gave me the idea. - She laughed, kissing his neck.
On the days when Aemond arrived first to the meadow, which was almost every time, Y/n would find him waiting for her with a smile and a bouquet of freshly picked colorful flowers in his hand, always telling her how much he had missed her during the week while leaving a soft kiss on the younger girl's forehead and pulling her into a hug soon after.
-Bad week? - He smiled against Y/n's hair who sighed with her head lying against his chest holding the bouquet in her hands as she gently ran her fingers over the petals.
-I think you'd better not be too close to me today. - She pulled away when she coughed a little, and then rolled her eyes. - I did a biology project with Pia Rosby and she was sick, she probably passed it on to me.
-You better go to the doctor soon. - Aemond frowned. - You almost never get sick.
-I know! - Y/n rolled her eyes even deeper with a slightly shrill voice. - Damn Pia Rosby!
Aemond just laughed, pulling her back to him.
-Aemond! - She scolded, pushing him by the shoulders. - I told you, you're going to get sick!
-I don't care much, I can only see you once a week, I'm not going to waste it. If I get sick, it's the will of the gods. - He murmured laughing and kissed her again making Y/n roll her eyes and reluctantly returned the kiss.
She did get sick, but Aemond didn't; something he made a point of mocking by stating how good his immunity was, making Y/n deeply roll her eyes at the phone during the call in which the two talked about it. They were both really excited since Y/n was better after almost a week, and at the weekend the family would travel together for Corlys Velaryon's birthday in Driftmark and the two could finally spend more than a few hours together.
Practically all the important families of Westeros were present when the night of the ball finally arrived. Aemond and Y/n didn't care at all, the two were just too busy around each other, laughing and talking in the corners while they thought no one was watching them.
-Alicent, don't you think all this closeness between Aemond and Y/n is strange? - Oto asked with serrated lips and a frown as he watched the two dancing together around the room.
-Nonsense. - The youngest waved her hand at her father with a dismissive look, more concerned with watching Aegon who was drinking and laughing with some acquaintances.
-They're just friends. - She shrugged, looking at them briefly and then looking away back at her eldest son. - They both have difficulty getting close to people, they became friends right away. Y/n is a good girl, she's innocent, she always goes with me to the sept, I don't see any problems.
-Last week I heard her telling the septa that she hadn't even had her first kiss yet. - Alicent murmured, making light of the matter and with a hint of pride in her voice.
-I think it's best to keep your eyes open about what Aemond and that girl might be doing, you know, my daughter, tongues talk, and the apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree. - Oto grumbled between his teeth, staring fixedly at Aemond and Y/n. - We don't want another problem.
Alicent looked once more in the direction of her son and niece, frowning softly as she watched Aemond spin her around and then lay her back while they both laughed, looking at each other happily, but with a strange glint in their eyes that suddenly made a new wrinkle appear on her forehead.
-Did you know that this…
-Was one of your mother's favorite songs? - Aemond concluded for her with an arched eyebrow and a sideways smile, making the youngest laugh and throw her head back.
-Yeah, you know. - She laughed even more when he spun her around and turned her back towards him.
-And that this is your favorite too? - He asked, still with the smug sideways smile on his lips, making Y/n roll her eyes deeply and restrain herself with all her might not to kiss him right there in response.
-I think it suits us. - She shrugged her shoulders smiling. - You make me feel that way. - Y/n looked down at her feet before looking at Aemond again and continuing. - Hopeful… beloved…
-Because I love you. - He murmured with his heart racing, sweetly caressing the base of her back with the tips of his fingers making her smile.
-I love you too, Aem. - She whispered only for him to hear, her eyes shining with joy.
-I think this circus will never end so I can love you right. - He rolled his eyes, snorting and looking around the party, which seemed far from over. - It's been two months.
-Last week. - She rolled her eyes, laughing as the two went further and further into the corner, away from the dance floor.
-That day in the meadow doesn't count. - He whispered, rolling his eyes. - We both didn't even take off our clothes. I want to take good care of you, the way I know you like it. - He smiled against her ear, making her blush, and then he twirled her around one last time before the song ended.
Both Y/n and Aemond couldn't wait for the celebrations to end, but as Corlys was a man who liked to demonstrate his status, the party seemed to never end. It was well after midnight when hundreds of fireworks were launched into the sky from barges at sea, forming the shape of a flaming seahorse in the night sky. According to him, the seahorse was for him and the fire was for his beloved wife Rhaenys.
Aemond and Y/n just looked at each other to know that the two were thinking about the same thing, and while everyone was distracted admiring the fireworks on the beach, the two ran to Y/n's room while laughing and kissing in the slightly dark hallways, since there was no one there at the time.
They had just fallen onto the bed, still dressed, when Y/n's cell phone alarm went off and she groaned angrily, getting up and taking a medicine pack from her bag.
-Is it the contraceptive? - Aemond frowned when he saw the yellow pill, different from the usual one.
-No, it's the disgusting antibiotic that tastes like rotten fruit that I'm having to take. - She grimaced before putting the medicine in her mouth and swallowing it with some water in pure disgust.
-Thank you again Pia Rosby! - She muttered ironically, rolling her eyes as she pulled the zipper of her dress that was already open to the middle of her back and walked towards him again.
-Are you eating right? - He frowned very seriously as he asked while gently holding her behind her thighs. - This kind of medicine is really strong.
-Yeah. - Y/n smiled, rolling her eyes and nodding. - I even cut out sugar this week, and you didn't even have to pay Daeron to keep bothering me.
-I didn't need it? - He raised his eyebrows, pulling her by thighs and making her fall on top of him.
-Okay, maybe needed a little. - She laughed, pouting and kissing him, tangling her hands in his cousin's silver hair.
Hours later Aemond was lying on Y/n's naked body with his head resting in the valley between her breasts breathing slowly as he felt the rhythmic beats of her heart. His right hand was resting on her belly, gently caressing the area with his fingertips.
-I can't wait for us to be married. - He smiled, leaving a chaste kiss on the soft skin between her breasts. - And that you're pregnant with our children.
-Do you think we should wait? - Y/n sighed, feeling his touch. - Until we finish college? I don't know if I can wait that long! - She smiled, looking at him, biting her lower lip while her eyes sparkled with joy.
-Maybe a year or two. - He shrugged, smiling and looking at her from under his eyelashes. - Just until we've adjusted.
-And then. - He left another sweet kiss between her breasts and then went down to her belly, placing a loving kiss there. - We'll have our child.
Y/n practically vibrated with joy below Aemond, a smile from ear to ear on her lips. Overcome by joy, she pulled him up again, leaning forward and leaving a kiss of pure love on Aemond's soft lips.
-I love you! - She sighed after the kiss, brushing her nose against his.
-I love you too. - He murmured with his eyes closed, lost in the caress of her arms, the curtain of his silver silky hair falling over them both.
The sun was already rising when Aemond got dressed and returned to his own room after leaving a few kisses on Y/n's sleepy face, who only laughed and grumbled. The two barely heard the conversations at the family breakfast table, Y/n was too busy trying to make Jaehaerys eat some mashed fruit, since Aegon stared into space, sprawled with the coffee cup in his hand, while Aemond was too busy watching her take care of her nephew while smiling.
-What do you think, Aemond? - Viserys's voice sounded excited, pulling him into the conversation at the table and making him look at his father with a confused look.
-I'm sorry, I was a little distracted. - He cleared his throat and adjusting his posture in the chair under his mother's attentive gaze. - What was the question?
-Corlys and I are going to travel to Vale to close a deal with Jane. - Viserys smiled, taking a sip of juice and cutting the eggs on the plate. - Maybe you should take advantage of the break and come along. It's like my father used to say, college is good, but nothing like real life to learn business.
-That would be great, father. - Aemond smiled slightly and he didn't know if his heart was racing for the opportunity or for the look of pride Y/n gave him as she held Jaehaerys in her arms.
❦❦❦
The trip lasted longer than Viserys expected, and what was supposed to be a week turned into a fruitful trip lasting almost 20 days; since they had gone down to Rune Stone to settle some business with Y/n's uncle who had taken over the company after Rhea's death years ago. Aemond's excitement at being there was almost palpable even though he tried to hide it, looking fondly at the green meadow that Y/n had described to him so many times when they were both children as being her favorite place to play, or just lie down while her mother told her a story and they ate cookies together.
Thinking about it only made his heart ache with longing for her, because since they had met that was the longest amount of time the two had spent apart. Aemond had already found it bad that they only saw each other on Saturdays, but spending all those days without being able to see her, without being able to hear her laugh in person and without being able to touch her… was almost killing him. The calls and messages did very little to help them both.
The afternoon they finally returned to Kings Landing, Aemond didn't even set foot in his college dorm. He went to the mansion with his father smiling and eager to see Y/n in person and tell her about the trip.
-Son, I'm glad you stopped by here before returning to campus. - Alicent caressed his hair, carefully placing a crooked strand in the appropriate place. - I missed you, I hope everything went well.
-Everything went great, Corlys really has a lot to teach. - He murmured, shifting his eyes to the stairs unconsciously. - I just came to pick up a book that I think will be useful. If you'll excuse me mom. - He smiled and left a kiss on Alicent's hand before walking up the stairs, making her roll her eyes at her son's always so gentle manner, but then frown in distrust immediately after seeing him go up the stairs so quickly.
As soon as he opened the door to Y/n's room, he saw her sitting on the bench near the window, looking out over the mansion's wide garden, turning around at the same moment he heard the door click.
-Aemond! - She jumped on him with a huge smile on her lips as soon as she saw him, her heart racing in her chest with longing and anxiety after almost a whole month away as she hugged him affectionately. - How was the trip?
-Absurdly instructive in every way it should be, but totally boring without you. - He kissed her on the lips as he said this. - You know, all this made me think that I can't wait for us to be together next year. - Aemond pulled her even closer to him. - Without having to hide from my mother, so you can run to me and wait for me at the door whenever I come home.
-We'll just hide from everyone else on campus. - He rolled his eyes ironically, leaving a small peck on his lips.
-Mmm, they find our whole family strangely disturbed. They won't be that shocked unless we exchange kisses in public. - He shrugged, making her laugh and throw her head back.
-I can't wait to move in with you either, and you know it! - She stood on tiptoe, giving him a kiss on the nose.
-I brought some gifts for you. - He murmured, hugging her with devotion while he felt her practically rubbing her cheek against his neck.
-I love gifts. - She sighed, smiling close to his ear, making him tighten the hug even more.
-I know that. - Aemond smiled against her hair, leaving a kiss there.
-I brought a dress from one of those stores you're always talking about. - He left a kiss against her ear as he spoke, making Y/n laugh and tilt her head towards his lips with a spasm.
-What color?
-White.
-Did you buy me a wedding dress? - She pulled away, looking at him laughing and arching her eyebrows as she bit her lower lip.
-Not yet. - Aemond sighed and left a soft kiss on her lips.
Little by little the two walked, until they fell sitting together on the same bench below the window, with Y/n sitting on Aemond's lap while he held her firmly close to him.
-How are things in Rune Stone? - She asked quietly, her head resting on his shoulder. - Did my uncle ask about me?
-Yes. - Aemond smiled slightly as he said that, his heart relieved that the man had asked about Y/n's well-being, since he knew she would be upset if he hadn't even remembered and Aemond couldn't lie to her, even if it was for a reason like that.
-He said he would like to come to the capital to see you but he doesn't have time since business is booming with the trade agreements your mother had made years ago that have started to pay off.
-Really? - Y/n smiled, hugging him even tighter and smiling against his chest, feeling a warmth in her chest when she heard those words along with a devastating feeling of pride at knowing that the work her mother had done in life was still thriving.
-Mmm. - Aemond nodded softly, stroking her hair carefully so as not to mess it up. - Rune Stone is really beautiful.
-We could travel there in the summer. - Y/n suggested very excitedly, leaning on Aemond's shoulders to sit better on his thighs.
-I think that would be great. - He murmured, leaving a soft caress on her hand. - By the way, I brought you something from Rune Stone.
-What?
-A teddy bear. - He laughed, holding her waist firmly. - Guess which one.
-A rabbit?
-No, Mr. Bunny would be jealous if he had to share you with another rabbit. - Aemond rolled his eyes, kissing her neck. - He took after me in that aspect.
-I don't know, then. - She laughed, clinging to him. - A cat maybe? Or a bird?
-No and no. - He laughed, hugging her tightly. - The chances are over.
-What was it then? - She smiled anxiously, leaving a kiss on his chin and neck.
-A panda.
Y/n stood still instantly with her eyes shining in a laughing smile.
-No way. - She got up, adjusting her slightly wrinkled clothes.
-Where are you going? - Aemond raised his eyebrow, looking at her.
-I want my dress and my bear. - She smiled, heading towards the door as if it were obvious, and rolling his eyes, he followed her.
The two of them were walking down the stairs laughing when they found Alicent halfway down, looking at them with a strange look on her face, and for a moment Y/n felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, as if the temperature had dropped 10 degrees in 10 seconds.
-Were you together already? - She asked, raising her eyebrow.
Y/n didn't know what to say at that moment, since her aunt had never cared about the amount of time the two spent together.
-I went to call Y/n to come down. - Aemond took the lead with a carefree voice as he shrugged. - I brought her something from Rune Stone.
-Very kind of you, isn't it Y/n? - Alicent smiled at her and momentarily Y/n managed to breathe again.
-Yes, aunt, but Aemond is always very attentive. - She smiled, looking away at the oldest. - It's in his nature to be like that.
-Not with everyone. - Alicent slightly narrowed her eyes. - Let's all go down, dinner is served. You can give her a gift later, Aemond.
Leaving no room for discussion, Alicent turned around, going down the stairs and waiting for the two on the last steps. With no escape, they went straight down to the dining room, where Viserys was already sitting at the table while the servants made the final adjustments.
-Aegon isn't coming to dinner today? - The patriarch asked, looking toward the door with a frown. - I would like to see Jaehaerys.
-Lyan is in town and asked to see Jaehaerys. - Alicent muttered irritably, pulling the chair to sit down. - As if she really cared about the boy!
Dinner went smoothly after that, until Alicent noticed Y/n who was just moving the food from side to side on the plate instead of eating, since dinner was usually the meal where she ate the most with everyone together at the table talking.
-Darling, is everything okay? - Alicent asked sweetly, looking at her worriedly. - You barely ate breakfast today.
The moment Alicent said that, Aemond raised his eyebrows and looked at Y/n, because he had already told her at least a hundred times not to skip breakfast or eat junk food early in the morning, since she always got sick in the afternoon when she did that.
-Yes, I am, auntie. - She laughed embarrassedly, playing with the food on her plate. - I just shouldn't have eaten all that chocolate earlier.
-Y/n, you're an adult now, I don't need to tell you anymore that you can't eat sugar out of hours. - Alicent murmured with a frown. - I don't want you to end up getting sick.
-Sorry, aunt. - She smiled. - I know you're worried, it's just that Rhaenyra brought those from Essos that I love.
-I already told Rhaenyra not to bring that junk home or she'll end up killing one of you. - Alicent muttered irritably, looking at her own plate, while Aemond continued to stare at Y/n.
-She doesn't mean anything wrong, my dear, she just wants to be kind. - Viserys smiled at his wife, gently taking her hand.
-She does it to affront me because I've told her a million times not to! - She hissed, glaring at her husband.
-I had brought a box of madeleines for you from the Vale, we can open them tomorrow. - Aemond muttered, taking advantage of his parents' argument.
-By the Gods, I never want to see madeleines in front of me again. - She muttered with a slightly disgusted look, making Aemond frown, since the youngest had been crazy about this sweet since they were both children.
-Are you sure you're okay?
-Yes, I just ate a little too much. - She whispered, rolling her eyes. - I was really craving it, so Daeron and I went to the flour street, bought two boxes and ate them while watching TV, but I must have eaten too much because I felt a little sick afterwards.
-I'll have to stay with my mother on this one. - Aemond rolled his eyes, gently stroking her hand under the tablecloth. - You can't eat that much sugar, you know that diabetes is hereditary.
-I know. - She murmured, biting her lower lip and tilting her head to the side with a subtle side smile. - I swear I'll take it easy with the sweets.
-What are you talking about? - Alicent's voice sounded, interrupting the conversation, making Aemond frown in confusion at the strange way his mother was suddenly acting.
-I'm just telling Y/n to cut down on the sugar. - He replied with an arched eyebrow. - Where's Daeron? I haven't seen him since I arrived.
-He's studying at a friend's house, he must be in home soon. - Alicent muttered, looking at her golden wristwatch.
Shortly after the servants began to clear the table, the housekeeper came to Alicent, warning her that Oto was on the phone waiting for her, making the older woman get up and leave them, followed by Viserys, who still had some travel paperwork to organize.
-You have a knack for business, Aemond. - He muttered as he left the room, making Y/n give her cousin a bright smile, who rolled his eyes and pulled her by the hand towards the back living room where their bags were, taking advantage of the fact that Alicent had finally left them alone.
-Have you noticed my mother? - He muttered, pulling the zipper of the suitcase and staring at her. - She's been acting strange.
-She was normal until this morning. - Y/n frowned in confusion. - We went to the sept together yesterday as we always do, nothing extraordinary. Do you think something's wrong?
-I must be just being paranoid. - He shrugged, finally opening the suitcase and taking some things out.
-It wouldn't be the first time. - She laughed, rolling her eyes and then widening them when she saw the teddy bear that Aemond took out of a blue bag.
-Gods, he's so cute. - She smiled, taking it from Aemond's hand with a soft pout on her lips, lowering her voice to almost a whisper before speaking. - I could kiss you right now, you know?
Looking around quickly, Aemond pulled her by the cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her lips, making the younger girl smile against his lips, kissing him back languidly while holding the bear tightly with one hand. The two broke off the kiss, jumping away from each other the moment they heard the sound of the back garden door opening, both with wide eyes, relaxing gently when they saw Daeron come in whistling and throwing his sneakers to the corner before jumping onto the couch, laughing.
-So, how was your trip, big bro? - The younger smiled, lying down on the couch and looking at Y/n and Aemond upside down, frowning when he saw their red faces. - Are you two okay?
-Yup.
-Of course, why wouldn't I be?
The two spoke in a jumbled way at the same time, leaving Daeron even more confused.
-Okay, you guys are weirder than normal today and your normal is already bizarre. - Daeron raised his eyebrows, still staring at the two upside down, until his eyes focused on the stuffed panda in Y/n's hands and he stood up with his eyes shining.
-Where did this bear come from?
-Aemond brought it for me from his trip. - Y/n smiled, inevitably looking at the eldest with a look so passionate that anyone who looked closely could notice.
-And what did I get? - Daeron raised his eyebrow, looking at his older brother very seriously, making Aemond hold his breath for a moment.
-Mmmm…..- After a few moments of thinking he saw the ornate box of madeleines inside the suitcase and smiled pulling it towards the youngest.
-A box of madeleines.
Daeron smiled mischievously, accepting the box of fine sweets from his brother's hands.
-I know this wasn't for me, but I'll accept it anyway because of your lack of consideration for your little brother. - Daeron said laughingly, then jumping over the back of the sofa and running out of the room laughing before Aemond could reach him.
-I'll be in my room playing video games, just make me take off my headphones if someone dies! - He yelled from the stairs.
-Little pest. - The older man muttered, rolling his eyes with a small sideways smile, as he took a package wrapped in purple tissue paper from his suitcase, looking in Y/n's direction right after and handing it to her, who received it eagerly.
-Aem… it's beautiful. - She smiled exultantly when she saw the white dress that should reach her knees.
-It's just like the one you said you wanted the other day. - He smiled, caressing her cheek with the back of his fingers. - Did you like it?
-I loved it! - She smiled, hugging him and leaving a kiss on his neck.
-Put it on for me then. - He murmured against her hair, and Y/n nodded positively, still smiling, already standing up and pulling Aemond's hands with her.
The two went up to the rooms via the back service stairs, laughing and occasionally exchanging kisses, almost dying of fright when one of the maids appeared at the end of the hallway and almost caught the two in the middle of a kiss, but it wasn't the first time that had happened, so the two just entered Aemond's room in a hurry, gently slamming the door behind them.
-Ok, turn your back. - She asked holding the dress to her chest, leaving the bear on her cousin's coffee table. Aemond frowned, slightly arching his eyebrow as he looked at her ironically.
-That's not the point. - Y/n rolled her eyes at him, grabbing him by the shoulders and turning his back while he smiled. - It's supposed to surprise you.
-I'll be surprised anyway. - He murmured with a small smile on his lips, making her leave the little kiss on them before going to the other side of the room to change her clothes.
-You can look. – You can look. - She murmured softly a few moments later and Aemond turned around almost at the same moment, seeing her wearing the beautiful white dress that whether he wanted to or not, made him think about how beautiful she would look wearing a wedding dress.
-Do you like it? - She asked, smiling and smoothing the skirt of the dress carefully.
-Really need to ask? - He curved his eyebrow with a look of enchantment, admiring her, then gently taking her hand and turning it around, making the skirt of the dress flow softly around her as he watched her with devotion.
-You're beautiful.
Y/n just laughed throwing her head back as she spun around and felt Aemond's gentle touch against her skin.
-What are you thinking about? - She whispered with her lips smiling close to his ear, hugging him closer and closer.
-How beautiful you'll look wearing a wedding dress for me. - He murmured against her hair, hugging her back and pulling her towards him, making Y/n smile even more against his neck.
-And you? - He whispered back to her. - What are you thinking about?
-How much I love you. - She murmured, kissing his neck softly. - How much I want to marry you soon, to be yours forever.
-You're mine forever. - He whispered, brushing his lips against hers. - Love you. - He murmured before finally kissing her properly, drawing a sigh from Y/n's lips and making her almost melt against his arms.
-I miss you. - Aemond sighed against her ear, pulling her closer and closer until they both fell onto his made bed.
-Me too. - Y/n mounted him, placing one leg on each side and kissing him languidly while Aemond moved his hands up and down her back, waist and hips, squeezing her with devotion.
In pure affection and adoration, he undid the satin ties that held the dress to her shoulders, gently pulling it down little by little, exposing Y/n's beautiful skin, on which he distributed soft kisses.
-So beautiful, my love. - He sighed, putting his head between her breasts. - So beautiful to me.
-Wait… - She gasped under his touch, making Aemond stop kissing and look at her confused.
-You're going to wrinkle my new dress. - Y/n complained, making him laugh softly in a nasal way, supporting himself on the mattress with his hands while she got up and finished taking off her dress, folding it carefully and placing it on top of the stuffed bear.
-Protecting those poor innocent eyes? - Aemond joked since Y/n always covered Mr. Bunny's eyes when they made love in her room, while he pulled her by the thighs to climb on top of him again, making her roll her eyes, pulling the hem of his shirt and throwing it carelessly on the bed.
The two rolled around in the sheets lost in each other's touch, Aemond didn't even realize when he had taken off his pants, but he knew he was only in his underwear between Y/n's legs, who was completely naked for him, while he kissed her more and more deeply.
-Be careful, they are a bit sensitive. - Y/n sighed when he kissed her breasts, and Aemond nodded gently, kissing her even more.
Y/n panted and sighed, every touch from Aemond was a wave of happiness in her body and she was always yearning for more. Her back arched against the sheets amidst slight tremors of pleasure as Aemond tortured her with his mouth between her thighs, occasionally murmuring dirty things, or how much he loved her, making her throw her head back in ecstasy, feeling her legs tremble on the verge of climax.
Lost amidst the euphoria, neither of them heard the sound of the door opening and the light footsteps entering the room. It was there, at that moment that suddenly everything went to hell as the door to Aemond's room opened without warning and Alicent entered distractedly calling him.
-Aemond, your father asked… - She didn't finish the question before emitting a horrified scream that echoed through the walls of the room, when she saw her son between Y/n's legs while the girl was lying among the pillows with her eyes closed and clinging to him.
Aemond instantly got off of Y/n while trying to cover both of their nakedness with a sheet as fast as he could, hiding Y/n's body behind his own. The two of them looked scared like two deer caught in the headlights, motionless and unable to form a word that made sense.
-Mom… what. - Aemond could barely form a coherent sentence, his heart racing in panic while he could feel Y/n's heart racing against his back. - Both of us… we..
-By the Gods, everyone told me something was wrong, everyone did. - Alicent scolded with bloodshot eyes and her hands resting on her head looking in the direction of the two. - But I said no.
-Aunt. - Y/n cried to Alicent wrapped in Aemond's sheets, still hidden behind his body trying to hide her own nakedness.
-Don't call me aunt! I took you in as a daughter when you were nothing more than a poisonous viper. - Alicent screamed lividly, going towards the bed and stopping when she saw the dress and the teddy bear on the table, her eyes burning even more with anger at that moment.
Aemond didn't even get dressed, he just grabbed the shirt that Y/n had thrown on the bed moments ago, and with trembling hands he put it over his cousin's head trying to preserve it, while she shrank closer and closer to him, barely able to move to put on her panties under the sheets with Alicent's shrill screams echoing through the room.
-This is an affront to the seven, an affront to our family! - Alicent screamed louder and louder. - Do you have the slightest idea what would happen if someone found out about this?
-Aemond, my son, how could you let yourself be corrupted by this… this… tramp! - Her voice dripped venom and anger.
Y/n felt those words as if they were a slap in her face. Her sweet aunt, who had taken such good care of her throughout her life, looking at her with disgust, as if she were the lowest trash she had ever seen in her life, and addressing her in such a cruel way.
-That's enough, mother! - Aemond hissed back with a deadly look, putting on the pants that were thrown on the floor, briefly moving away from Y/n to do so. - You're not going to talk about her like that!
Alicent found herself even more horrified, if that was possible. Aemond had never raised his voice to her in his entire life. Never, not once had he done anything other than obey. And now here he was, yelling at her while standing in front of Y/n defensively.
Y/n in turn felt exposed, barely able to move on the bed, tightly holding onto Aemond's arm, who was standing in front of her, staring at her mother. The once safe environment of the room now felt cold and hateful, with the walls seeming to compact on them with each passing second.
-Get your hands off him, you manipulative snake! - Alicent shouted angrily, walking quickly towards the bed and pulling Y/n's arm tightly away from Aemond's protective touch, pulling her out of the bed, making Y/n squeal with the sudden pull, trying to move her arm away. from the angry touch of the aunt.
-Don't touch her! - Aemond shouted, trying to make Alicent let go of Y/n, his hands were shaking as were his lips.
-Auntie… please stop it! - Y/n begged through tears, feeling Alicent's unshakable grip compressing her arm as the older woman tried to pull her away from Aemond, who in turn tried to hold his mother in desperation.
-What in the seven hells is happening here? - Viserys' voice thundered through the room, leaving everything suddenly silent, making Alicent finally let go of Y/n's arm, who was hugged by Aemond at the same time as the two walked away from Alicent, trembling and with frightened eyes.
-Viserys, this girl has desecrated our home! - Alicent screeched, going towards her husband with bloodshot eyes. - You don't know the filthy act that I witnessed when I entered this room!
Viserys barely breathed as he looked in the direction of Aemond and Y/n, finding them half-naked, she only wearing Aemond's shirt and panties and he only wearing his pants still unbuttoned. Both disheveled and clinging to each other, Y/n crying and Aemond looking on the verge of tears as he hovered in front of Y/n protectively. The messy bed further evidenced what kind of unholy activities Alicent was referring to.
-What did you two do. - Viserys muttered tiredly, bringing his hand to his forehead and then sliding it to the bridge of his nose, his tone not a question, it was almost a disgusted statement.
-It was her! - Alicent scolded. - She did! I shouldn't have accepted this idea of yours of bringing this girl here knowing who her father is! She corrupted my son!
-That's enough mom! - Aemond shouted again when he heard her talk that way about Y/n and when he felt his cousin sobbing softly against his skin. -Father, that's not true. - He looked very seriously at Viserys.
-Madam, is everything ok here? - A maid's voice echoed through the hallway, making Alicent's eyes widen and she practically ran towards the door, slamming it hard.
-Get out of here! - She shouted at the woman before she reached the bedroom door. - I don't want anyone out of the kitchen until further notice, anyone who leaves there without being called will be thrown into the street!
-Alicent… do you think it's sensible… - Viserys started but was interrupted by her at the same moment.
-What is sensible, Viserys? Let the employees see this depravity and go around spreading what happened here everywhere? - She scoffed rolling her eyes at her husband. - No, absolutely not! I will not let Aemond be tarnished like this in front of everyone!
-For the love of the gods, Alicent, let's at least talk about this somewhere else. - Viserys said, looking around where the dress Y/n had worn to dinner was still visible discarded on the floor next to the table, as well as the strong smell still present in the air in the stuffy room.
Alicent's eyes went in the same direction as Viserys', hovering again over the white dress and the teddy bear, which she clutched tightly under the watchful eye of Aemond, who was still paralyzed on the other side of the room, holding Y/n tightly against him.
Y/n only had time to put on a pair of shorts and Aemond a shirt, before they were taken by the elders to Viserys' office, both without making a sound, just holding on to each other exchanging frightened looks, feeling a weight so heavy in their hearts that it almost suffocated them both.
The path to the office seemed to be hundreds of miles long while the ground beneath them seemed to burn them as much as Alicent's glare against their backs, the sound of the door closing behind them sounded more like the sound of a saddle than anything else in the world.
-When did this start? - Viserys finally asked firmly, looking at the two very seriously with Alicent at his side.
-Father, it wasn't like that my mother is making it out to be. - Aemond took the lead, taking a deep breath before caressing Y/n's arm protectively. - It's not a dirty thing… it's not like that… we… - He took another breath before continuing. - We both love each other, father. I love Y/n. I always did.
There was no uncertainty in Aemond's voice, much less in his gaze. Everything about him emanated determination and strength, as he openly declared his love and tried to reassure Y/n through soft touches.
-We were going to tell the truth eventually. -He murmured, pulling Y/n even closer to him. - Father, I want to marry Y/n.
Alicent thought she was going to die when she heard those words. The pieces slowly fell into place in Alicent's head as she looked from the two of them to the white dress and that damn bear she had brought with her. The gifts he had brought for her from his trip, and without blinking she threw both into the fireplace, covering the room with the smell of burnt fabric.
-No! - Y/n screamed, running towards the fireplace, grabbing the poker in an attempt to pull what was left of the beautiful dress and the bear away from the fire, but it was too late. The flames had already consumed everything they touched.
Tears ran down her face uncontrollably as a horrible feeling of nausea made her stomach churn with bile rising in her throat. Aemond's arms wrapped around her, holding her in the midst of her broken sobs. His voice said something softly in an attempt to calm her, but she could barely hear him, too lost in the feeling of pain and fear. She could barely speak, mute with panic.
-You will only marry her over my dead body, Aemond! - She shouted, glaring at them both. - I will not let you disgrace your name and ours!
-I don't care about my name! I don't care about any of that! I will marry Y/n, whether you like it or not! - He shouted, standing up from his cousin's side and walking towards his parents in a rage, making the room fall into a deadly silence, only Y/n's sobs being heard.
-Hey, what's going on? Where's everybody? - Aegon's relaxed voice came down the hallway, muffled by the door, which soon opened and revealed him smiling. The smile slowly faded from his face when he saw Y/n with bloodshot eyes crying while Aemond had a look that made it seem like he was being slaughtered alive.
-Shit. - He muttered motionless in the doorway, making his mother's look of fury turn to him, with the realization that the oldest was already aware of these facts.
-Did you know about this? - Alicent shouted, making Aegon flinch under his mother's shrill voice, and under the burning slap she delivered to his left cheek. - You idiot!
-Where did I go wrong in creating you? - She scolded more than angrily, looking like she was about to explode with fury. - What did I do to deserve this?
-Alicent, the best thing now is to stay calm to resolve all this and…
-Not! - She interrupted Viserys strongly again. - Viserys, I will not tolerate this! I demand that something be done about this immediately!
-And what do you expect me to do? - He asked tiredly, looking from his wife to his children and niece. Aegon further away, watching everything with a glazed look, and Aemond and Y/n hugged each other, slightly trembling with scared eyes.
-I want her out of my house right now! Far away from my children! - The older woman looked even more angrily in direction where Y/n was next to Aemond.
-Wife Y/n is under our guardianship until she is 22 years old, we cannot simply send her away. - Viserys murmured thoughtfully. - Unless we send her to stay with her father in Pentos.
Y/n and Aemond's eyes widened simultaneously upon hearing that. Pentos was miles away, even by plane, it would take weeks for them to be able to see each other in person again, even if they were in hiding.
Alicent, on the other hand, scoffed at her husband's idea, putting her hands on her hips as she spoke.
-Sending her to stay in that den of perversion with that demon of a father will only make things worse! - Alicent and Viserys spoke as if the rest of them weren't in the room, as if they weren't deciding the future they had dreamed of and planned for without their consent.
-Then what do you suggest? - Viserys asked and Y/n and Aemond held their breath.
-I want her to spend some time in Old Town. - Alicent demanded firmly, staring at her husband. - The conservatory of the septas will help her regain her composure and dignity.
-What? No! - Y/n squealed in panic when she heard those words. - No, please, aunt, I don't want to go there! My whole life is here! - And unconsciously she looked at Aemond as she said those words, irritating Alicent even more.
-Viserys either you send her to Old Town until dawn or I leave this house! - She hissed in the direction of her husband, who seemed to be on the verge of a heart attack.
-Uncle… uncle, please. - She begged, crying and walking towards her uncle, taking his hands in hers as she always did when she wanted to ask him for something. - Please, don't let her do this to me… Please!
-Y/n, my dear, you know I love you, but I can't leave things this way. Maybe it would be good for both of you to take some time apart. You are still too young to make such important decisions that could change both of your lives forever. - He muttered in an exhausted voice, looking from Y/n to Aemond. - You are too young for all this. You shouldn't even be involved in this kind of relationship yet!
-Father, by the gods, don't do this! - Aemond finally came to his senses after the shock that his mother's words caused him, practically begging, while he felt a pain so strong that it was almost physical when he saw the desperation in Y/n's eyes. - By the Gods… I swear I won't touch her again… I swear. Please don’t do that.
-Aemond… - Viserys barely had time to finish and the younger had already interrupted him, his eyes wide with fear.
-It only happened once! - Aemond lied, his eyes shining with unshed tears, aware that neither his father, much less his mother, believed it. - It was only once! I… I promise it won't happen again, please let her stay.
-You're blatantly lying to me, Aemond! - Alicent screeched. - You've been lying for who knows how long! And it's all because of her influence!
-It's my fault! - He screamed in despair, his hands on his head. - It was me! I asked to sleep with her, it was all my idea, she was innocent until I started all this, I swear… she didn't even know what she was doing. I forced myself on her! - He hissed on the verge of tears. - Punish me, not her! Please, father!
-No! - Y/n screamed with a high-pitched voice in horror through tears upon hearing Aemond say those things and upon seeing Viserys' disappointed look in his direction.
-No, no, no! Uncle, that's not true! Stop saying things like that! - She held Aemond's face between her palms, looking at him in despair. - You can't say those things, Aemond!
-I can't let them do this to you. - He murmured, staring at her with teary eyes filled with pain.
-Not saying things like that about yourself. - She sobbed, bringing her hand to his face.
-That's enough! - Alicent shouted angrily. - There's no decision to be made, Y/n is going to Old Town! It's already decided!
There was no more waiting, no more warnings, Y/n couldn't even go to her own room to pack her bags. Even when the two begged for her to be taken to Pentos, Alicent would not accept, Y/n was only sent to Old Town in the early hours of that day, before dawn was complete. She didn't even go to the airport to avoid even more gossip, she left by helicopter from the mansion's gardens.
She and Aemond didn't want to let go of each other, and they had to call Criston, one of the security guards, to hold Aemond while Harold, the general head of security, took Y/n to the helicopter while she cried copiously, hugging herself, feeling her heart tearing more and more with each step she took further away from Aemond.
To Alicent's complete and utter disgust, Aemond broke free from Criston, ran to Y/n, and without even being embarrassed by that perversion in public, he pulled her into a kiss in the middle of the gardens.
Y/n, when she saw him running towards her, immediately let go of Harold to throw herself into Aemond's arms one last time, and return the most painful kiss the two had ever shared in their lives.
Tears of pure pain ran down their faces and the kiss tasted of sadness and salt. Their hearts were broken with pure, sharp pain, their trembling lips slowly parting as more tears flowed.
-I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. - He murmured with a voice full of pain, holding her tightly against him.
-It's not your fault, Aem. - She sniffled, her eyes bloodshot with tears, trying to contain her tears, but failing and feeling her emotions completely out of control.
-I love you. - Aemond declared, leaning his forehead against hers and closing his eyes as the tears fell, unable to bear looking at Y/n's eyes full of pain and tears staring back at him. - Forever.
-I love you too, Aem. - She replied amidst her sobs, almost brushing her trembling lips against his again, feeling that she had only not collapsed right there because his arms were holding her. - Forever.
-Viserys! - Alicent's shrill scream came from behind them and they were both forced to let go of each other, with Y/n being carried by Harold, bursting into tears towards the helicopter, while Criston held Aemond firmly by the shoulders to prevent him from running to her again.
Aemond's knees gradually weakened as Harold guided her towards the helicopter. When the aircraft finally took off, he barely felt it when he collapsed onto the lawn of the garden, while he watched Y/n disappear like just another dot in the immensity of stars in the sky.
The universe around him seemed to go silent at that moment, or maybe his ears had gone deaf. Aemond couldn't say which, the only thing he knew at that moment was that a part of him seemed to have died.
He didn't know if minutes or hours had passed when he felt someone's hands pulling him up, and when he looked back he found Aegon staring at him with eyes full of pity next to Criston who was staring at the ground.
-Come with me, brother. - Aegon pulled him firmly. - It's starting to rain.
Aemond didn’t want it. He never wanted to move again in his life, he wanted to stay there, motionless, until she returned to his arms. But he was so numb from the pain that he barely felt when Aegon and Criston practically dragged him into the mansion again.
Aemond felt shattered, his vision blurred, his lips trembling, he could barely see the path in front of him. His eyes only came back into focus when they passed through the upstairs hallway and he saw the door to Y/n's room open. Letting go of both of them at the same moment and entering furiously when he saw his mother removing all her things and placing them in boxes on the bed.
-What are you doing? - Aemond hissed in pure despair when he saw her tearing each of Y/n's drawings from the mural, crumpling them and throwing them away like trash.
-All this wicked story ends now! - Alicent screamed lividly, staring at him. - It's over! You'll never see her again! Not if I can prevent it.
-I don't care if days pass, weeks, months, fucking decades pass! - He yelled back with wild eyes. - I'll still love her!
-Don't ever say that word again! - Alicent hissed even more furiously than before, taking firm steps towards her son. - Never again, Aemond! Love is something sacred, something that comes from the seven! That's not love, it's a terrible sin!
-So I don't want to have anything sacred! - He shouted, walking around the room, feeling suffocated by Y/n's presence that emanated from every little thing in that place. - I just want to have her! That's the only thing I want!
-That's enough! - A slap stung Aemond's cheek at that same moment, making him look at his mother even more painfully. - This will all go in the trash! And you'll forget all about this story, Aemond!
-Father! - Aemond shouted, going towards Viserys, completely exasperated, his eyes bloodshot and his hands shaking, as soon as he saw him stop at the bedroom door. - You can't let her do that!
-Aemond… - He began, being interrupted by his son's uncontrolled voice.
-These are Y/n's things. Her things! – Aemond practically screamed. - My mother can't just throw all this away, I won't allow it!
-Cole, take my son to his room. - Viserys asked the security guard very seriously, making Aemond even angrier.
-Could you listen to me at least once in your life, father? - He shouted furiously, walking in the opposite direction, feeling his heart ache when he saw the lilac dress that Y/n liked so much thrown on the floor, completely crumpled.
-I'm begging you… - He looked away from the lilac fabric to his father, his eyes shining with sadness and tears. - Please.. don't do that to her things.
-Alicent… - Viserys looked very seriously at his wife, feeling his son's anguish in the midst of all that. - That's enough for today, leave Y/n's things where they are.
-Viserys… - Alicent looked at him in denial.
-At least for now. - He muttered. - It's happened enough for today, look at the state the boy is in!
Aemond's eyes ran around the room until they landed on something very specific thrown carelessly on the bed. The notebook. The notebook with the drawing of the house. Aemond couldn't lose it. And while his mother wasn't looking too distracted arguing with Viserys, he quickly opened it and tore out the page with the drawing of the future of the two together, tucking it into the waistband of his pants anyhow. With pain in his heart he had to leave the rest behind, but at least the most important of all was safe.
-No one is going to touch Y/n's things for now! - Viserys gave the final word seriously, then grumbled in Aemond's direction, nodding his head towards the door. - Now go to your room, Aemond.
Still feeling torn apart, Aemond took a deep breath with at least a small drop of temporary relief. Aegon and Criston were still at the door, watching everything, but Aemond didn't stop. He just walked past them and went towards his own room next door, slamming it hard behind him, feeling almost collapse when he found the scene of his worst nightmare once again before his eyes.
The sun was shining through the window, but Aemond didn't even feel able to feel its heat. Nothing seemed to be able to warm him from the cold that had contaminated his soul that night. He didn't know how long he had been sitting on the floor when he reached into his pants and pulled out the slightly crumpled paper and stared at it, feeling the pain ravage him once again when he saw the beautiful dream drawn there.
❦❦❦
The days passed and Aemond felt more and more overcome by pain. It was as if someone had come and, without warning, cut his body in half and dragged one of the parts away. He barely ate, and refused to leave the room for anything. Also refusing to let them take the sheets off the bed, the smell of her perfume was still ingrained in them and it seemed to be the only thing capable of making him sleep even for a few minutes, just to dream about Y/n and wake up feeling still worse.
-Aemond I asked them to make potato rosti for dinner. - Aegon murmured near the bed, looking at him with a frown. - Eat some, it's your favorite.
-I don't want it. - He murmured without even looking in his brother's direction. Just the thought of food made his stomach turn, memories of Y/n laughing while eating, always saying that she needed even more cheese no matter how much she already had, made him want to never eat that again in his life.
Two days later, Helaena appeared in his room, sitting on the edge of the bed and stroking Aemond's hair like she used to do when he was a little boy. For the first time, he looked away from the ceiling and looked someone in the eyes after that night.
-Hi, little brother. - She smiled melancholy, still gently stroking his greasy, messy hair.
-What are you doing here? - Aemond murmured very quietly, his eyes dull and lifeless. - You should be in Dorne.
-Aegon called me, told me what happened. - She sighed, slightly pressing her eyes as she spoke. - He's worried about you, Daeron is too. You need to eat, Aemond. Aegon said you haven't eaten anything for a week.
-I don't want to. - He murmured, moving away from Helaena and returning to the corner of the bed where he always stayed. - I just want them to bring Y/n back home. That's not fair to her.
His eyes were once again lost and unfocused, staring into space while he pressed his nails firmly against his palms, leaving red half-moon-shaped marks on his hands, almost tearing the thin skin.
-Helaena, please… ask them to send me away, anywhere. - Aemond begged without looking at his sister, a tear running down the side of his face to his neck. - I swear I'll go without complaining! I'll even go to Winterfell if our mother wants. But take Y/n away from that place, they can't leave her there alone.
Helaena's heart broke when she saw her sweet brother destroyed like that. And even worse in a way that she couldn't help him. There was no cure for what Aemond was feeling, she couldn't sit there and say that the pain would go away when she could see in his broken eyes that it wouldn't.
-What if she's not eating right? - He sighed melancholy with a trembling voice. - What if she gets anemia like she did when we were children?
The older sister frowned at the irony in that, he was so worried about Y/n's health when he himself was slowly wasting away on that bed.
❦❦❦
-I want to go home! - Y/n shouted to the septa through tears.
-This is your home now, child. The sooner you accept that, the better.
-Call my dad! - She pleaded. - Ask him to come get me!
-Nobody come get you Targaryen! - The woman scolded with a very serious look. - Now eat.
-I'm not hungry. - She muttered, climbing onto the bed without looking at the woman.
-You look at me while I'm talking to you girl! And now eat at once.
Y/n's eyes burned and in pure anger, with a mix of uncontrolled feelings, she threw the plate against the door with all the strength she could muster.
-I don't want to! - She shouted, turning around furiously and facing the woman, feeling a metallic taste in his mouth immediately after the firm slap he received on the cheek.
-If you don't want to eat, then that's fine with me! - The septa glared at her. - No food for a week!
-Screw you! - She shouted back as she heard the door slam behind the older woman.
The days passed and Y/n felt weaker and weaker. She didn't eat, she barely drank water, she just sat on the single bed in the room, staring at the wall with a specific focus on a blurry stain that had probably been made with a blue ink pen. Her stomach churned and the little she ate didn't seem to want to stay inside.
She cried herself to sleep every night, overcome by sadness, and in her dreams Aemond haunted her with his beautiful smile, his gentle touches and his sweet words. Only for her to feel even worse when she woke up the next day, still locked in that place, miles away from him.
The paleness on her face was so visible after a few days that the septa insisted that she eat again, but without success. Her lips, which were once red and lush, were now white and cracked, and this, combined with her dull and lifeless eyes, left her with a ghostly appearance lying motionless on the bed.
A few more days passed and the septa dragged Y/n screaming into the shower, forcing her to take a bath. Y/n only stopped screaming when halfway there she was overcome by such strong dizziness that she almost collapsed on the floor, holding on tightly to the walls to keep from falling.
-You're going straight to the infirmary! - The septa, whose name Y/n hadn't even made a point of memorizing, spoke very seriously, looking at her with wide eyes. - You're clearly anemic because of all this stubbornness.
-I am fine. - She mumbled sleepily, still holding on to the wall. - There's nothing wrong with me, you're not going to take me anywhere.
Feeling a little better after the bath, Y/n lay down on the bed, tightly hugging Aemond's shirt, the only thing she had left of him besides the necklace around his neck. His scent was still there, and she prayed every night that it would never go away, because she would die if she lost that only touch she had left of his love.
❦❦❦
The night was cold and rainy in Kings Landing, the angry water lashed against the windows with such force that it made them seem like small stones, the wind blew furiously against the trees making it seem like it would destroy everything in its path.
Maybe that was why Aemond had finally slept that night after Helaena practically shoved a cup of tea down his throat. The world around him seemed to be just as furious and destructive as he was.
The sleep did not last long, as a few hours later Aemond woke up with sweat running down his body, panting and barely able to breathe as he felt the bile rising in his throat, burning everything in its path. He spent a few moments just standing there on the bed trying to breathe again with his eyes glassy, fearing that if he closed them the horrible vision of his dream would become even more vivid.
He could still see before his eyes, as clearly as the lightning that shone through the windows in the darkness. Y/n alone in a dark room, so thin that her shoulder bones were visible, her sunken eyes full of dark circles, her body curled up as she trembled, screamed and cried tears of bright red blood. The moment she screamed his name, as if asking for help, he woke up.
Goosebumps ran across his skin, and an inexplicable pain took over his entire being to the point that Aemond felt that his bones were painful. He didn't even stop to think for another second, he just got up in bed, still trembling and barely able to stand, heading towards Helaena's room in despair.
He didn't knock on the door, he didn't announce himself, he just staggered inside with glazed eyes.
-Aemond, what's wrong? - Came the soft and worried voice of the older sister, who stood up at the same time and ran to support him.
-Helaena, please. - Aemond looked into his older sister's eyes in despair. - I'm begging you… for a way to talk to someone in that place to know if Y/n is okay. Please, sister.
Seeing the look on the younger's face, totally scared and almost lost in the midst of panic, Helaena couldn't deny it. The day had barely dawned when she called the conservatory in Old Town pretending to be Y/n's stepmother, Laena, and asking about her well-being.
The answer that came from the phone it was simple, but it didn't bring peace to Aemond, who seemed on the verge of a breakdown.
"Your stepdaughter has a very difficult temperament, but she is being treated in the best possible way and is in excellent health."
-There's something wrong, I can feel it, Helaena. - Aemond murmured, his eyes wide and his jaw clenched as he spoke, while watching through the window the torrential rain that continued to fall on the capital.
Helaena just serrated her lips, staring at the youngest, the woman's strange tone didn't convince her at all and she was always excellent at judging people's character. But she would never say that to Aemond, her poor brother shouldn't have this incentive to fall into madness anymore, not after a whole month in that cycle of endless pain that he found himself in.
❦❦❦
The next morning seemed cold, dull and for some reason completely lifeless. The rain had stopped and there wasn't even a breeze outside, the trees were completely stagnant, not even the leaves seemed to be falling. Aemond lay still on the bed, thinking of a thousand ways to do something to see Y/n and snorting slightly when he heard the creak of the door, trying to guess which of his brothers would be there now.
-Hi big bro. - Daeron spoke in a melancholic voice without getting any answers from the older man, who just blinked his eyes, still looking in the same direction.
-Mom and dad had to go out, and I took this from mom's things without her seeing. - Daeron raised his hand in front of Aemond, and his eyes instantly focused on the small key with colorful crystal charms. The key to Y/n's room.
-How did you get this? - He smiled for the first time in days, taking the key from Daeron's hands and sitting up at the same time. Aemond thought about jumping from the balcony of his own room to Y/n's balcony, as he had done hundreds of times before when he slept in Y/n's room and left the next morning, but it would be useless with the window locked.
-Mom wouldn't suspect me, so I picked it up for you. - He shrugged, happy to see the eldest getting up. - I need to put it back when she comes back, so be quick. Hel and Aegon won't be able to keep her out for long.
Aemond walked to the door next to his with trembling hands, barely able to put the keys in the lock. Daeron gave him privacy by standing in the hallway, according to him, keeping watch.
The older man closed the door carefully so as not to make any noise, slowly turning back and feeling his heart burn when he saw Y/n's things thrown out of place again. Every little detail she had put into her room over the years, messed up. He almost froze, not knowing exactly what to do at that moment.
After a few moments of breathing deeply in an attempt to calm himself, Aemond began to gather his favorite drawings that Y/n had already made. With his hands even more trembling, he bent down and took out the drawer of the dressing table, where he knew she kept the photos that the two of them had taken together.
Tears rolled down his face when he touched them and the first one was a photo of the two of them smiling and exchanging a kiss lying on the attic carpet. He couldn't take everything, but at least he would keep this safe with him. No one would destroy his memories with Y/n.
When he was about to leave the room he saw him there, alone lying on the floor at the foot of the bed among some clothes. Mr. Bunny, the worn-out plush toy that Y/n had grown fond of while the two of them were playing house. Feeling a tear roll down his cheek Aemond picked him up from the floor, realizing that her scent was still ingrained in him and almost losing his breath and suffocating in pain with the memories that came to him at that moment. He could almost hear Y/n's laughter as she rocked the little bunny in her arms, pretending he was her son, and a feeling of irreparable loss crossed his heart, almost leaving him breathless.
He didn't dare leave any of those things in his room at the mansion. While Daeron went to put the keys back in their place, Aemond went down to the garage and carefully put everything in the trunk of the car, where no one would suspect, where no one would mess with it, locking it right after.
-Thank you. - Aemond muttered looking at the floor when he found Daeron sitting on the counter in the living room.
-We're brothers. - He shrugged, looking at him with a sad side smile. - We look after each other, isn't that what you always say?
-Yes, we are. - A wave of renewed guilt took over Aemond at that exact moment. Aegon, Helaena, and Daeron were taking care of him, but he wasn't taking care of his brothers.
It wasn’t fair that Helaena was missing an entire month of classes to bring him tea in bed every night and make sure he had eaten. It wasn’t fair that Aegon had to skip spending time with Jaehaerys and go over there every day to drag him to the bathroom and make him bathe and shave. It wasn’t fair that Daeron was with deep dark circles under his eyes at such a young age from sitting in an armchair in his room all night monitoring him.
Life wasn't being fair to him, but he wasn't being fair to his brothers by making them go through all this just because he was in pain. His gaze crossed the huge mirror on the counter in which Daeron stood perched, and for the first time in weeks he noticed how bad he looked, how much more dead than alive he looked. And in contrast to that the look of concern the youngest directed at him made his lungs constrict without oxygen.
-When Helaena and Aegon arrive, tell them I want to talk, ok? - He sighed with a tired voice, looking away, no longer able to look at the youngest and then heading up the stairs.
❦❦❦
Aemond felt like hours had passed when finally the bedroom door opened and his brothers entered with visible concern in their eyes. It was then that he noticed how tired Helaena looked and how Aegon, always calm, looked tense as he stared at him as if he were a bomb ready to explode.
-Helaena, you need to go back to college. - He sat straighter in the chair as he spoke while trying to keep his voice steady after so many days of speaking only what was necessary, feeling his throat scratching with each word.
-I thought about this a lot today, you are all exhausted and it is my fault! - He murmured, staring at them intently. - I didn't want things to be like this, you don't deserve them to be like this.
-Aemond, none of us are going anywhere. You need us! - Helaena bowed her head to the side in worry.
-I'll be fine, sister. I swear to you that I already feel better. - He lied, looking down at the floor.
-You are not well and I can feel it! - The oldest shook her head, approaching the bed. - I see how you look every time our mother comes here to talk to you. Why do you think I'm here, Aemond? I won't leave you alone!
Helaena held his hands tightly between hers.
-You need me, you need us by your side. - She nodded to Daeron and Aegon who were further back, equally worried.
-If I leave here, will you go back to Dorne? - He asked reluctantly. - It's not fair, Helaena, it only makes me feel worse.
-And where are you going? - She questioned with a raised eyebrow.
-You can stay in the apartment you bought a few months ago. - Aegon suggested with a shrug. - It's below mine, you won't have any problems with the change and you can see Jaehaerys whenever you want.
The mere mention of the apartment almost made him break down, Y/n hadn't even gotten to see the apartment, and he was going to surprise her on the day of the prom. Maybe it was better this way, he would never be able to enter it if she had already been there.
-That's it… - He murmured, barely looking at Helaena so she wouldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes at that mere thought. - But please, sister, go back to Dorne. It will bring me more joy than anything else right now.
-Will you go back to college? - She looked at him melancholy, sweetly stroking his hair that was washed, but dry and unkempt.
-No, I… I can't do that right now. - He sighed. - But I will eat, bathe and sleep from time to time. - He rolled his eyes, not really planning to do any of those things, but Helaena didn't need to know that.
-I'll keep an eye on him. - Aegon murmured to Helaena as the two walked away from him along with Daeron, and Aemond rolled his eyes at them treating him like a three-year-old child. After much reluctance and discussion, Helaena finally agreed to return to Dorne five days later.
But a week after the oldest's departure, Aemond still hadn't moved. Every day Daeron and Aegon talked about it with him, and every day he avoided leaving his room as always. Feeling like he didn't have the energy to get up from that bed, barely able to breathe at the thought of leaving the house, leaving the memories, that even darkened by all the pain of the last few weeks, he had there with Y/n.
Thoughts gnawed at Aemond's mind as he hugged the faded blue scarf that Y/n had used to cover the floor dozens of times while they had a picnic. Sometimes he thought that if he stayed quiet enough he could hear her voice echoing through the room, and sometimes he thought he was going crazy because of it.
The sound of the door opening woke him from his thoughts and he quickly put the scarf under his pillow.
-Not today, Aegon… we can talk about this tomorrow. - He muttered without even looking at the door.
-It's not Aegon. - Alicent's voice sounded through the room, making him sit up straight on the bed when he saw her. His mother came every day, but only at night; it was still too early for her to be there.
-I'm worried, Aemond. - She sighed, slowly approaching the bed. - Are you thinking of dropping out of college for such a vile reason?
-I have no desire to continue. - He practically whispered, looking in another direction. - There's no point in continuing.
-Aemond, do you realize what you're saying? - Alicent raised her tone an octave as she spoke.
- Do you think this kind of reaction is healthy? This is all a mistake, she contaminated you with her and her father's dirt, but I have the solution. - She spoke quickly, barely giving Aemond a chance to reply.
-You're going to talk to the septon. I've already talked to him, explained the whole situation, he'll help you resolve all of this and put your mind in the right place. - She smiled, holding his hand, but Aemond pulled it away at the same time, his eyes wide.
-I'm not going to any septon! - He glared at her angrily. - My mind is in perfect condition, but yours isn't if you think this will change the way I feel about her!
-Aemond, I've already heard all this and I'm already tired of all this nonsense! - The eldest stood up impatiently with her hands on her hips.
-But I decided to be kind to you and give you some encouragement… - She looked at him in a strange way that made Aemond feel like a small beetle under a magnifying glass.
-If you go back to college and consider talking to the septon, I might consider letting her return to Kings Landing. - Alicent murmured very seriously and Aemond looked back at her, suddenly very interested.
-Are you serious about this? - He asked, standing up and walking towards his mother apprehensively, almost getting lost in the middle of the words.
-Very serious. - Alicent looked him in the eyes and lied. - If you do that, I might think about letting her come back, obviously you'll be away from each other, but she might come back.
Aemond's heart burned in his chest at that idea, he would never consider talking to a septon, as if what he and Y/n had was something wrong and dirty. And the mere idea of going back to college among all those people made him sick, but if that could maybe make his mother let her go back, even if he couldn't get close to her, that's what he would do.
❦❦❦
Shortly after that day, Aemond returned to college, barely looking at anyone who spoke to him. And fulfilling his mother's demands, he began to go to the septon every week to have a conversation, where the man would talk for hours about the problem of the sinful act he had been involved in and how much it was repudiated by the seven.
Aemond would leave the sept with his head throbbing with pain and feeling almost zombified every time, barely able to hear the thoughts in his own mind while waves of repulsion ran through his body, almost making him vomit.
After all that, he really left the mansion, taking all his belongings with him this time, since there was no longer any reason to return there periodically, and moved to the apartment below Aegon's, not wanting to be near the college campus and the gossip that was whispered there.
Aemond didn't paint the walls, he didn't put up any pictures, he didn't even choose the furniture. He just asked a decorator to leave the place clean and habitable. It didn't seem right to do it without Y/n, it wouldn't be fun to do it without her. The apartment was how Aemond felt without Y/n, cold and lifeless, without any color to cheer him up. The only thing there that he had chosen was the wooden chest in the corner of the living room, where he kept the memories he had managed to save of Y/n.
Some days in the self-imposed solitude of his apartment, he would find himself talking to Y/n in his mind, almost as if she could hear his voice. Often whispering words he used to whisper in her ears only to himself, the words sounding like an empty echo through the gray and icy walls of the apartment. And almost always as he said them, the Septon's voice echoed in the back of his mind, in a deadly whisper of sinner.
As time passed, the hope that the two would be together again died inside Aemond, giving way to anger and bitterness. And even though he was without hope, he could never give up the things stored in the chest in the living room, he could never stop sitting on the floor and admiring her beauty and sweetness through the photos while he was bathed in the moonlight and the splendor of the hills of Visenya.
Opening that chest was like digging his nails into an open wound, but Aemond could not stop doing it. Deep in his heart there was that spark of hope that one day they would be able to be together, that they would fulfill all their promises, that they would be happy forever together.
Maybe what they said was true, maybe the absence made his heart grow even fonder, because he didn't notice his love for Y/n diminishing as the years passed, it only grew and the desire to be with her grew every day, as did the guilt for such desires.
The voices of his mother and the Septon constantly echoed in his head, telling him how wrong those feelings were, how much the seven would disapprove of a union between cousins.
But even with such thoughts screaming in his mind, Aemond knew well that he would not be strong enough, he knew well that if he laid eyes on Y/n one more time he would not hesitate to jump over the same cliff again, even if he destroyed himself in the process.
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Final notes: It was extremely difficult to write this chapter because I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to properly capture the characters' feelings in writing. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter, I still can't believe I managed to translate all of this in one day, I'm happy!!! In the next one we'll return to the present time. 💖💖💖
*Shania song is the song they dancing in Corlys Birthday. 😭🥺
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