#It's always been a really casual look or bad sew job

[iamsweden]

So the cloak doesn't look very much like a cloak right now, but it's a start! I have the other pieces of a Siffrin cosplay (hat and eye patch) ready to go, but I'm either going to have to find giant safety pins or crochet appliques for the finishing touches. I'll post update pics as I go! I'm excited to see it all come together!!!

[yanderefarm]

yandere angel who’s sooo sweet and devoted ? like a cupid or something

yandere angel

cw;; blood, violence, yandere tendencies, abusive relationships, religion, corruption

you: sweet and devoted!!

me: he's so devoted to you he wants to make you bleed. got it.

no but really i hope his weird sweetness comes across. i was having a hard time writing this one. i knew i wanted to do something with the idea of a cupid becoming literally sick with love and the idea of a human just inherently corrupting an angel. i almost wrote y/n as a lot more of a bastard while the angel was just broken by mistreatment but i decided against that bc it might make some people uncomfortable.

ultimately i decided that he's a bit of a bastard and y/n is jaded. i like writing different types of sickness for different yanderes. i think a yandere who wants to monopolize you so badly that he'd be excited if he was the only thing you ever looked at with anger or fear is fun. he wants to take care of you and make you happy of course! he loves you so much. but if you're going to be bad and make him hurt you then he'll enjoy watching you in pain. i also like to imagine sometimes y/n gets back at him by hurting him too. he wouldn't mind if you were sadistic as long as you only showed him that side of yourself.

i don't really have any plans to elaborate on him more than this unless people end up liking him and wanting more of him.

he starts off as a good normal angel, he's a cupid it's his job to help people find love. after a night with you he becomes corrupted and bound to you. he lives with you, cooks your meals, makes your bed, just generally takes care of you. but he's sick. if too many people love you he'll have to kill them so it's best for you if you don't spend time with anyone but him. you're so afraid of what he'll do you can only go to work and home.

there's a story in myth that speaks of what happens when you lust after angels, an unforgivable sin to lust after and corrupt that which represents god. the punishment for humans is their undoing, a mythical unraveling at the seems until there is nothing of you left. but what of the angel? some say that corrupted angels have their wings ripped from their back and they're thrown down into hell. 

you wish that was the case. 

the angel that follows behind you is not currently spending eternity in a pit of fire and you are not currently being ripped apart cosmically. in fact it wouldn't be odd to assume that you two had suffered no punishment for defiling god's holiest creation. you couldn't be entirely sure that the angel had actually been punished but you certainly had been. you can feel deep inside of you something happened to your soul that night, something was taken away from you. according to the angel his punishment was his obsession with you but you couldn't necessarily see how it was a punishment when he seemed so happy. honestly you didn't even trust him that he wasn't always this obsessed creep. 

what kind of normal angel thinks that it's a good idea to flirt with a human at a bar to "get your self esteem up"? either he was just that stupid or he'd always been this broken. even if he was just that stupid he had to know what would happen to him if he went back to your house with you. you hadn't known shit. you thought that you were just getting a casual hook up after your last relationship ended in you feeling undesirable and unlovable. you weren't trying to lust after any angel! and now you were stuck with him forever. 

you think you might hate him. no one else can see him because he's in his angelic form and all day he's either pushing your friends away from you or he's overwhelming you with all his "love". you watch as he's putting sewing needles in your coworkers lunch. he claims that this coworker has feelings for you. you both know that the only one eating the needles will be you. maybe that's why he puts more in there. you think he might hate you too. 

in a few hours you're standing outside your office building coughing up blood and little pieces of metal. "could.... you ......sto-stop?" 

his hand gently rubs your back as you cough. "I'll stop when he's dead." 

"im no-not... gh-gonna let you... bastard..." your body is trembling. 

"mm~ then i guess I won't stop." he's getting some sick enjoyment out of this you're sure. 

you can feel your vision getting darker and your head falls against him. you feel his arms craddle you so tenderly and you honestly miss coughing up needles. 

it's always like that. neither of you die no matter what either of you do. you're trapped together until the end of time. maybe this is what they meant by unraveling you, your mind will wither away until there's nothing left of you. sometimes you let yourself believe he means it when he says he loves you. sometimes you think you might love him too. 

[squealing-for-harusono-sensei]

Hirano to Kagiura Ch. 22 Reaction

NEW CHAPTER :D :D :D!!!

lmao why is the first page so funny to me? I do like Hirano setting boundaries whenever Kagiura tries to push too far.

THE CHAPTER COVER IS SO PRETTY!!

Dates are kinda weird, aren't they? There isn't really much difference between them and going out with a friend except that it's called a "date" and therefore has romantic connotations.

Oh right, Kagiura never actually told Hirano for how long he has liked him. Doesn't seem like he'll tell him for a good while. (Also, Kagiura looks kinda when he says it's a secret, which is always a treat.)

Oh, so he's making it telling it contingent on Hirano's feelings. DEFINITELY won't be telling him for a good while at the rate this is going.

I love Niibashi and Kagiura interactions. Also, can't really blame Niibashi for feeling a bit awkward when he's together with kagihira knowing what he knows.

NIIBASHI BEST WINGMAN!! I do suspect that Niibashi would have done a better job than Hirano is going to, though.

DEFINITELY would do a better job, lmao. Nice wingmanning, but it did mean that the only one who knows how to sew left lol

Hirano can be... kinda oversensitive when it comes to Kagiura. I don't feel like that's the right word for it, but he's so nervous about doing anything wrong way past the point of it being reasonable. Like, before even meeting Kagiura he was worried about being a good roommate and not scaring him. Which is perfectly reasonable! At the time. But it has almost been a year now, with Kagiura almost constantly talking about and showing how happy and grateful he is for Hirano. Hirano has seen how hard Kagiura worked for them to stay roommates. And yet he tries so hard to make up for perceived failures. Not that he shouldn't apologize and make up for things he does wrong, it's just... him sewing the button because he thinks it's his fault reminds me of why he accepted the touching–making up for hurting Kagiura's feelings–and it kinda rubs me the wrong way for some reason. Well, not so much the things he does to make it up to Kagiura, it's more the face he makes when this happens. He feels way worse for doing these things than he needs to and risks going above and beyond for it. I want him to do these things because he wants to, not because he feels guilty.

Well, it's still sweet. It's not like Hirano doesn't want to do these things for Kagiura, I just wish Hirano wouldn't feel so guilty when no one is blaming him for acting the way he does. But in the end, I guess Hirano simply isn't the type to be satisfied with a simple apology.

I KNEW Kagiura would want to touch him for this!

The domesticity of this whole scene is *chef's kiss*

THE SWEETNESS!

"...It doesn't make mine race, though."

THE BITTERSWEETNESS!

"But... It's still not bad at all."

THE SWEETNESS!

With how comfortable Hirano is with Kagiura touching him, I really think the only thing keeping him from being fine with adding cuddling to their relationship is the romantic connotation. It also reminded me of my relationship with my boyfriend. Not that we are anything like them, it's just that I'm aspec and he's not. (Realized that I was some kind of ace about five years into our relationship and some kind of aro about 10 years into our relationship. In my defense, we were 14 when we got together and I really wanted to reciprocate his sexual and romantic feelings for me, so I was kinda in denial. Autism and ADD also didn't help.) Point is, I love my boyfriend but not romantically. He knows and we chose to stay officially boyfriend and girlfriend, even though it's not really romantic on my part. (My boyfriend is the BEST.) Anyway, I just feel like they're at a point where that kind of relationship could work. But then again, I feel like Hirano would feel guilty for not loving Kagiura romantically if they did that.

Hirano's heart might not race, but his gaze sure does linger.

THE CASUAL SASAMIYA IN THE BACKGROUND LMAO

Miyano: Shipper mode, ON!

...Did it ever get mentioned that Miyano is in the Literary Club in Sasaki to Miyano?

It's kinda fun to see a longer scene of Hirano and Miyano interacting outside of the 4-koma format. Miyano: "I do not mix BL with my real life." Miyano with Hirano: "He is an uke!!!!"

There's something funny about Hirano seriously talking with Miyano about BL and reflecting on his feelings for Kagiura. There's something ESPECIALLY funny about how strongly Hirano jumps on anything that disproves that he has feelings for Kagiura lmao

Though what I'm really getting out of all of this is that Hirano's heart definitely raced when Kagiura hugged him.

Anyway, Miyano's rambling about how the heart racing is only for new couples and you feel calmer once they feel like family makes me think of how I've long felt that kagihira kinda just skipped the crush part and went to being married. (Or want from married to crush in Kagiura's case.)

THE WAY HIRANO SLAMMED THE WINDOW BECAUSE HE THOUGHT OF KAGIURA LMAO!!!!

Oh? Oh??

LMAO THE WAY HE WENT FROM HEARTPOUNDING TO PISSED, I CAN'T

Hirano is getting closer! He doesn't feel romantic love the that it's usually depicted, but he's getting there! ... Although I wouldn't be surprised if he manages to graduate before then...

[merakiui]

welcome to the day a duck ruins your perception of items in genshin impact. i uh. made some items in genshin impact as yandere boys and what they're like sort of?? you could try and burn your eyes now. ;) adepti seekers stove- he's going to be a tsundere no buts or uhts. he's the type of yandere that's trying to be protective and failing miserably everytime. so being impatient and angsty. so, he resorts in kidnapping you instead. but hey look on the bright side! even when you're kidnapped you can have delicious meals and snacks! secretly likes to cook for you a lot, but he won't admit it even in death. just don't question why there's a lingering scent of sleeping potions in your meal and you'll be good as jolly jee! probably wants you to help him in the kitchen, since he once heard that couples do that. would probably give you self esteem issues down the line. "didn't i tell you to not get hurt? are you that much of an idiot?? here. have this it'll lessen the pain just a bit so we can walk back home. just drink it already." windsong lyre- smug bastard, smug shit. he's probably a player or just overly dramatic with everything. maybe he's righteous or something.. likes to show off his music skills a lot. he sucks at it tho. gaslights you probably in public places to add more pressure, because people are staring like you're having a performance or something. calls you love even if he's pissed at you for not listening to him, or accusing him of being toxic or suspecting him of being your stalker that always watches you from your window at 2am! would make you paranoid a lot. loves kissing your cheek and tickling you. he's a closeted pervert. you're gonna have to move in an isolated place too, he will spread rumours of you being his lover. "love, I'm sure that you're just overreacting. plus even if i was the stalker that you're talking about I wouldn't be oh so casually talking to you in public when I could've been hiding! jeez it's like your going crazy." wind-blessed harpastrum- such sweety! just so wholesome bakes you a pie in tuesday sweet. seems patient too but beware he will break your legs when you get a little bit too bratty for his tastes. touch starved too and it shows, that's why he loves to cuddle you lots! really obsessed with what you think of him. if you say you hate him he'll tear up and try to convince you that he's good, but if you pretend that you like him he'll shower you with uncomfortable affection and confessions. really great at making bombs and torture weapons too. probably sewed in a bomb inside your body threatened that he will kill you with it if you leave. bad at darts and archery. if you say that to him he'll laugh and take out his diploma saying that he's too smart for those childish games. he's impulsive in decision making. "haha. you know. you almost escaped from me back there. but hey! now you won't do anything stupid like that ever again if you can't walk." windblume balloon: listen man. im going to be killed but he's an airhead, pun intended right there. probably lowkey manipulative and doesn't even know it yet or chooses to ignore it. protective of you a lot. really delusional to the point that he rationalizes your escape as someone kidnapping you. so say goodbye to whoever poor stranger who was trying to help you escape they'll be greeted by an arrow through their head once he finds you. has a habit of holding your hand because he's afraid you might disappear from his line of sight and leave him all alone. if you let go tho he'll gorilla grip your hand, might crush it too. just very overprotective. he also doesn't know that he's an airhead. yeah."hm? why do i like holding you hand..? i just like it.. your hand makes me feel... uh. safe..? is that the word for it? ah. it was the word loved." wind catcher- he's a full on sadist. throw all of your escape plans out the window, this guy will climb a mountain and ride any wind current available to catch and torture you. persistently trying to make you like him atleast a bit. yeah, he's that kind of delusional. would teasingly push you

of a cliff as a 'light' punishment. dark humour and likes to joke about killing you from time to time. note: he can kill you. and he would also do it by ripping you in half with the wind current so just stay in his house and be a good lover that'll shower him in kisses, okay? okay. he mostly sees you as a tool of interest, but not just any tool- you're his favourite tool. "pfft! hey stop crying now! you're making me feel bad! hm? oh? why am i doing this? well i mean maybe I'm angry that someone was trying to escape. again." warming bottle- he will absolutely leave you in the cold if you were being a brat towards him. lives in dragonspine to spite you, also because he can just turn take away your blankets and anything that can give warmth so you gotta ask him to cuddle you to survive. he usually does this when he's feeling a little petty. which is so frequent. that you can almost give it a schedule. but don't tell him that. kind of a tsundere but only when it comes to physical affection since he's shy. that's why he has to take away your blankets so it looks like he's just mocking you but not because he's touch starved. he's not at home that much too but don't worry, he will make it up to you by uh.. physical activities.. "what? you're freezing? no shit we're in dragonspine. oh? you want me to hug you..? hm. fine. I'll indulge you for a bit. I am quite merciful." parametric transformer- businessman that scams you a lot lol. he's going to be a masochist because i said so, yeah i know the electric stone thing gag that's why i made him a masochist. really likes to collect useless stuff and spoiling you, so expect your room to be filled with a lot of random things from jewelry to mushrooms and crabs. has a you should be grateful i even give stuff mindset. thinks that giving someone something of vaue would make them fall in love with him instantly. also probably loves it when you fight back especially when you successfully land a hit on him, he will enjoy it. but be careful he has different responses whenever you hit him. pick your poison. spends a ton of resources on everything to keep you in line. that rope costed him 700 pinecones. "why do you even wanna escape? i give you a ton of stuff so you won't get bored! hah. maybe if i had picked up someone else they would've been grateful." portable waypoint- throw out your escape plans the season sequel. he's very quiet but has a small temper that won't last that much. maybe he's like that since he tries so hard to repress it. listen he's trying okay? escape always fails so quickly. one minute you're in springvale shouting, crying, begging for anyone to help you and then back to his house to see him sipping some tea. his punishments are cruel too- he makes sure to leave you in a den of monsters and ruin guards, waits until your in the brink of death and teleports you back to him. has a superiority complex over everyone too. probably likes to make you feel weak when you have to rely on him. loves to crush your self esteem. wants to be affectionate but thinks that you, as an inferior being, should be affectionate with him instead. so tsun. "see? this is what i was trying to tell you. you're too weak to actually survive out there. you even had to rely on me to save you. pathetic." memento lens- mysterious and elegant. he's quite cryptic to say the least. likes to watch you from a far if he's feeling a bit angsty. you try to make sense of what he says and it just leads to you being confused even more. and he likes that about you. you actually try to understand him, even if what you guess is wrong. you're going to have a tough time with this guy if you wanna escape. just avoid any fox statues and you'll be good. the problem is the shrine maidens. they basically want the two of you to end up together so they don't have to deal with him. he's actually very gentle with you punishments still suck but atleast he doesn't do it physically, he just makes you write that you're sorry over and over until your wrist are tired. loves poetry and solving puzzles, riddles, scriptures. he's

smart but soft. "spring blossoms even in the darkest depths of uncertainty, is that why you have the courage to try and escape me..?" kamera- perfectionist stalker. wants to make sure that the photos he takes of you are perfect to every extent. colour, lighting, and expressions. even if it means going inside your room and having the possibility of waking you up from your sleep. likes to take pictures of everything too. kind of like this; both of you are walking somewhere and he stops to take a picture of a sunset. he takes twenty minutes trying to find the correct angle. but the sun is already gone so he sulks. maybe- you can cheer him up by volunteering to be his model? you'll do that? right? also worships you like a god so if someone dared to even say something breath near you or celestia forbid insult you, best to say they'll be quickly disposed of by blackmail and fake shit. would not steal any of your belongings, he would just take pictures of it. so he's not that bad. "i consider everything in this world is beautiful, but you have surpassed that. so that is why im keeping you here. no one deserves even a glimpse of you!" waverider toolbox- he's such a gentlemen and a sweetheart. always there to help you with repairs, sometimes he'd add some updates to it too. just ignore the stuff going missing inside your boat thing. he probably guilt-gaslight you into staying with him in his waverider then bam your in an island stranded. ahaha, now both of you just have to survive by working together ya know? like a loving couple likes hugs and physical affection a lot! bonus points if it's given when he's tired from doing his job. as i said tired guy so appreciates all the things you do for him whether it's paying for his meal or giving him a gift. next time, he'll make sure that you won't leave the island permanently. thinks that stranded island equals date smh. " ahh? oh! is this for me? really? thank you.. i don't usually receive gifts but that just makes this even more special! say, do you wanna go on a trip? i just fixed the waverider from last time." red feather fan- mischievous little shit. likes to scare you a lot by appearing on trees and just jumping on you. knows that you're trying to escape but pretends not to since he likes to try and guess which direction you would run to. hugs you a lot even before he kidnaps you really touchy even if you say no he'll use the good ol puppy eyes! doesn't work? okay he'll just smell your clothes when you're sleeping as compensation. he likes to flirt with you a lot. some pickup are cheesy.. but others are a little- personal? acts cool by making a dramatic entrance everytime even. you know those radical superhero landing stuff? that's him. he would build a nest as your house even being a dick and placing it on top of a mountain, goodluck on trying to get down. "caught you! going to the shore was so predictable by the way. maybe you should try a different place next time, dear? hm? maybe a restaurant so we can have date? sounds great right?" serenitea pot- unhinged malewife that wants to make a the perfect living space for you- ehem. probably a perfectionist if you squint hard enough. he's delusional but just a little lucid about the stuff he does to you. likes to make a ton of furniture too! personalized the room you're trapped in with a ton of valuable and expensive materials. just don't try to escape he'll cut your limbs off just like a damn tree shawtie. owns a shit ton of pets ranging from boars to cats. all of them are like bodyguards to you during your stay. dreams about having a peaceful life with you in the realm someday, sigh. he sometimes has burnouts where he just places a bunch of furniture on a single room and call it a day. "and here is your room! do.. do you like it? i made it just for you! i didn't know what wood you would prefer so i just settled on whatever i can find! ahaha. we're kind of like a married couple living together now... right?" nre menu- he's probably going to be from the adventurers guild. really awkward and shy. takes for him a long time to

open up to you. when going on quests he's the one in charge of carrying the food and healing shit you need. really patient and nice! slightly uh mean with other people trying to talk to you but other than that everything is normal. everything is normal the long loving gaze he gives you every now and then and some food being left on your doorstep. yeah let's not question it i mean he's just so shy! he would never do anything wrong? right?? he's a closeted pervert, cliche i know but he's a pervert with a line to not cross. he just checks you out. good for him. would cry if given any ounce of affection. sweet baby. "t-that was a tough commission.. oh u-uh.. do you need some food to replenish your energy? we need to do the other commissions you know.. hm? why aren't you eating it.. something wrong with the food..?" seelies- spoiled. that's the word to describe him. really straight forward with his courting kind of dumb? but he's so damn lucky for some unknown reason that your plans to avoid him always fail. yeah the high quality rope you just bought for 1000 mora? it broke and you fell into his arms. he's probably rich by sheer dumb luck too. finds a ton treasure chests even in the places you didn't expect. people pressure you into spending time with him. since he's just so cute! how could say no to such a face? it really feels like the gods are on his side ya know? he throws a lot of very very aggressive tantrums if you're not with him. thinks he's doing a good job at courting you, with rationalize rejection as a playing hard to get. "tada! look i got you this crystal i found while i was walking! it looks like a diamond and it has a ton of colours too?? is it valuable?? would you kiss me if i give it to you??" endora- majestic, regal, and likes to explore a lot. he uh. probably trapped you in a bubble once or twice too. really curious about his surroundings, also has no personal space since it's first time going out. he would cuddle you when he feels like it homie. kidnapped you and made you his tour guide. don't try to fool him he learns quickly about stuff. fast swimmer, so no joining any expeditions in water if you don't want their ship to be wrecked by a mysterious being of the teyvat seas. he likes to see you cry. it's not a kink he just feels connected to you when you cry. doesn't have a house so you just live in a run down boat. he's doesn't know when you're lying to him sometimes. god complex bastard. "this world. at first i wasn't sure if i was going to like it or not, but ever since I've met you... I've grown to tolerate some parts.. so you should be thankful, you've convinced me. mortal." intertwined fate/older twin- listen. he's just so smug about everything he does. and he knows you love him. probably invites you out on dinner only for him to not show up. so basically he's an asshole without a doubt. toxic boyfriend that gives you false hope and has a ton of admirers. you probably think he won't settle for you right? ah, he's not that cruel. so picks you as his lover out of all the billions of people. you should be grateful! he even kidnapped you! do you know how hard it was for him to go all the way from his home to yours? anyways yeah. asshole. he likes to do the open the door for darling trick where he just gives you a small crack on the door and watch you make a decision. it's an act of your loyalty. if you escape he'll make you feel pain. if you don't then he'll reward your patience. god complex bastard 2."sigh. did you try to escape? again? patience is the key to everything you know. maybe you should learn that. i expected more smart from you." acquaint fate/younger twin- cinnamonroll he's such a sweet guy. he's always there for you when you need him. okay- he has a nice guy complex, fucking damn it. probably uses the but I've been there for you since the start trick unintentionally a lot. he just doesn't know he wants some action, so be thankful that he didn't just jump on you like a barbarian. he's kind of contradicting himself too. one hand he wants you to love him, on the other hand he doesn't

believe he deserves you. loves to give you the same things, remember that one painting you liked from two years ago? he got you that. quantity beats quality. surprisingly, he's really patient but would have bursts of anger every now and then. has a self value issues?? yeah, but did i tell you he's a touch starved guy. punshments are just him softly lecturing you about what's good and what's wrong."i always viewed myself as inferior, that i didn't deserve anything.. but this time. i want to be greedy just once." that's it- :'D i haven't proofread this but here you go mer! ill probably continue with more humanisations of items in genshin later.. if you ask why i ruined your day with this crazy idea i was watching that one video of a person humanising social media and got this idea. also i discovered how to bold out texts... i have power..ejwjdhshaj

so yeah have a great day! -🦆anon

I AM IN AWE?!?! WHOA OMG!!!!! 🦆, THIS IS FANTASTIC!! AAAAAA (≧∀≦)

All of the various characterizations… *chef’s kiss* It’s literally so good! With each one I read I kept thinking okay this guy is my favorite and then I would read the next description and my heart was stolen again. I can’t pick a favorite now. T_T

[princesssarisa]

Some more “Little Women” remarks: the problem of Beth

I honestly think most commentary I’ve read about Beth’s character is bad, both academic and from casual readers.

I understand why. She’s a difficult character. Modern readers who love Little Women and want to celebrate it as a proto-feminist work need to contend with the presence of this thoroughly domestic, shy, sweetly self-effacing character, seemingly the opposite of everything a feminist heroine should be. Meanwhile, other readers who despise Little Women and consider it anti-feminist cite Beth as the embodiment of its supposedly outdated morals. Then there’s the fact that she’s based on Louisa May Alcott’s actual sister, Lizzie Alcott, and does show hints of the real young woman’s complexity, and yet she’s much more idealized than the other sisters, which often makes readers view her as more of a symbol (of what they disagree, but definitely a symbol) than a real person.

But even though the various bad takes on her character are understandable, they’re still obnoxious, and in my humble opinion, not founded in the text.

Here are my views on some of the critics’ opinions I least agree with.

“She’s nothing but a bland, boring model of feminine virtue.”

Of course it’s fair to find her bland and boring. Everyone is entitled to feel how they feel about any character. But she’s not just a cardboard cutout of 19th century feminine virtue. So many people seem to dismiss her shyness as just the maidenly modesty that conduct books used to encourage. But it seems blatantly obvious to me that it’s more than just that. Beth’s crippling shyness is actively portrayed as her “burden,” just like Jo’s temper or Meg and Amy’s vanity and materialism. She struggles with it. Her parents have homeschooled her because her anxiety made the classroom unbearable for her – no conduct book has ever encouraged that! In Part 1, she has a character arc of overcoming enough of her shyness to make new friends like Mr. Laurence and Frank Vaughn. Then, in Part 2, she has the arc of struggling to accept her impending death: she doesn’t face it with pure serenity, but goes through a long journey of both physical and emotional pain before she finds peace in the end. Her character arcs might be quieter and subtler than her sisters’, but she’s not the static figure she’s often misremembered as being.

‘She needs to die because her life has no meaning outside of her family and the domestic sphere.”

In all fairness, Beth believes this herself: she says she was “never meant” to live long because she’s just “stupid little Beth,” with no plans for the future and of no use to anyone outside the home. But for readers to agree with that assessment has massive unfortunate implications! The world is full of both women and men who – whether because of physical or mental illness, disability, autism, Down Syndrome, or some other reason – can’t attend regular school, don’t make friends easily, are always “young for their age,” don’t get married or have romantic relationships, aren’t able to hold a regular job, never live apart from their families, and lead quiet, introverted, home-based lives. Should we look at those real people and think they all need to die? I don’t think so! Besides, it seems to me that the book actively refutes Beth’s self-deprecation. During both of her illnesses, it’s made clear how many people love her and how many people’s lives her quiet kindness has touched – not just her family and few close friends, but the neighbors, the Hummels (of course), the local tradespeople she interacts with, and the children she sews gifts for who write her letters of gratitude. Then there’s the last passage written from her viewpoint before her death, where she finds Jo’s poem that describes what a positive influence her memory will always be, and realizes that her short, quiet life hasn’t been the waste she thought it was. How anyone can read that passage and still come away viewing her life as meaningless is beyond me.

“She needs to die because she symbolizes a weak, outdated model of femininity.”

SparkNotes takes this interpretation of Beth and it annoys me to think of how many young readers that study guide has probably taught to view her this way. No matter how feisty and unconventional Louisa May Alcott was, and no mater how much she personally rebelled against passive, domestic femininity, would she really have portrayed her beloved sister Lizzie as “needing to die” because she was “too weak to survive in the modern world”? Would she really have turned Lizzie’s tragic death into a symbol of a toxic old archetype’s welcome death? But even if Beth were a purely fictional character and not based on the author’s sister, within the text she’s much too beloved and too positive an influence on everyone around her for this interpretation to feel right. This seems less like a valid reading of her character and more like wishful thinking on the part of some feminist scholars.

“She's a symbol of pure goodness who needs to die because she’s Too Good For This Sinful Earth™.”

Enough with the reasons why Beth “needs to die”! At least this one isn’t insulting. But I don’t think it’s really supported by the text either. If she were a symbol of goodness too pure for this world, then she wouldn’t forget to feed her pet bird for a week and lose him to starvation. She wouldn’t get snappish when she’s bored, even if she does only vent her frustration on her doll. She wouldn’t struggle with social anxiety, or dislike washing dishes, or be explicitly described as “not an angel” by the narrator because she can’t help but long for a better piano than the one she has. Now of course those flaws (except for accidentally letting her bird die) are minute compared to her sisters’. It’s fair to say that only “lip service” is paid to Beth’s humanity in an otherwise angelic portrayal. But it seems clear that Alcott did try to make her more human than other saintly, doomed young girls from the literature of her day: she’s certainly much more real than little Eva from Uncle Tom’s Cabin, for example.

“She’s destroyed by the oppressive model of femininity she adheres to.”

This argument holds that because Beth’s selfless care for others causes her illness, her story’s purpose is to condemn the expectation that women toil endlessly to serve others. But if Alcott meant to convey that message, I’d think she would have had Beth get sick by doing some unnecessary selfless deed. Helping a desperately poor, single immigrant mother take care of her sick children isn’t unnecessary. That’s not the kind of selflessness to file under “things feminists should rebel against.”

“She’s a symbol of ideal 19th century femininity, whom all three of her sisters – and implicitly all young female readers – are portrayed as needing to learn to be like.”

Whether people take this view positively (e.g. 19th and early 20th century parents who held up Beth as the model of sweet docility they wanted from their daughters) or negatively (e.g. feminists who can’t forgive Alcott for “remaking Jo in Beth’s image” by the end), I honestly think they’re misreading the book. I’ve already outlined the ways in which Beth struggles and grows just like her sisters do. If any character is portrayed as the ideal woman whom our young heroines all need to learn to be like, it’s not Beth, it’s Marmee. She combines aspects of all her daughters’ best selves (Meg and Beth’s nurturing, Jo’s strong will and Amy’s dignity) and she’s their chief source of wise advice and moral support. Yet none of her daughters become exactly like her either. They all maintain their distinct personalties, even as they grow. Admittedly, Beth’s sisters do sometimes put her on a pedestal as the person they should emulate – i.e. Amy during Beth’s first illness and Jo in the months directly after her death. But in both of those cases, their grief-inspired efforts are short-lived and they eventually go back to their natural boldness and ambitions. They just combine them with more of Beth’s kindness and unselfishness than before.

“She wills her own death.”

Of all these interpretations, this one is possibly the most blatantly contradicted by the text. Just because Beth’s fatal illness is vague and undefined beyond “she never recovered her strength after her scarlet fever” doesn’t mean it's caused by a lack of “will to live”; just because she interprets her lack of future plans or desire to leave home to mean that she’s “not meant to live long” doesn’t mean she’s so afraid to grow up that she wants to die. It’s made very clear that Beth wants to get well. Even though she tries to hide her deep depression from her family and face death willingly, she’s still distraught to have her happy life cut short.

I’ll admit that I’m probably biased, because as as a person on the autism spectrum who’s also struggled with social anxiety and led an introverted, home-based life, I personally relate to Beth. If I didn’t find her relatable, these interpretations would probably annoy me less. But I still think they’re based on a shallow overview of Beth’s character, combined with disdain for girls who don’t fit either the tomboyish “Jo” model or the sparkling “Amy” model of lively, outgoing young womanhood, rather than a close reading of the book.

[wherethewordsare]

Before and After the Battle

Hi all, I really want to give a special thanks to @frostedbasilisk for not only inspiring me to write this but giving me permission to write a companion piece to this piece of artwork they did. I can only hope I did it justice! Also thanks @lesdemonium for letting me soundboard. I am sorry for yelling randomly at you <3 <3 <3

cw: blood and cursing and so so much bickering. Story under the cut because I can’t have a normal brain that keeps shit under 1k. This ended up being 1.5... @theamazingbard <_<

“You’re going to be late for your contract,” Jaskier hummed, pressing his lips to Geralt’s jaw. He finished fastening his cuirass and tucked a loose hair behind his ear. It had become a kind of dance they did these days. Jaskier would make a comment as though monster hunting were just another day in another profession and Geralt would kiss him and huff. 

“Monsters don’t exactly run on set schedules,” But he would lean up from where he was sitting on the bed, pulling Jaskier closer to him with that secret smile that he saved just for these kinds of days. 

Neither of them were quick to admit how much they had come to need those moments; moments where Jaskier could feel like even something as small as adjusting Geralt’s armor straps or tying back his hair in a way that would keep his eyes clear would keep him safe; moments where Geralt could remind himself that there was a home with a beating heart waiting for him when the job was finished. But the unspoken agreement was that it remained just that, unspoken, though Jaskier could admit to the increasing frequency where there were more words on his lips than he thought his witcher would want to hear. He knew better than to let them linger there, should they slip out so instead he rested his hands on Geralt’s shoulders and kissed him soundly, hoping that maybe he would still understand. 

“Come back, you big oaf, or I’ll be very cross with you,” He murmured with a soft chuckle.

“Don’t I always?” 

“In one piece,” Jaskier pulled back, frowning though the mischief in his eyes spoiled the effect. 

“Hmm,” Geralt leaned down, nipping at Jaskier’s collarbone. “You drive a hard bargain, but fair. Alright, one piece.”

The easy way they teased always felt like a balm against the anxiety that came along with the bigger contracts. A griffin in the narrow mountain pass by the village that had put up the contract felt like one of those. All Jaskier could do was sit and wait and play to fill their coin purse and wait. The first five days weren’t so bad. The next three had him pacing their room, his fingers itching for a pen, his lute, the hilt of his dagger, anything that would take the nervous energy that was starting to build up in his chest. 

He couldn’t take it any longer. Jaskier slung his lute over his back and sheeted his dagger into his boot. He grabbed the pack with the extra witcher potions and bandages as well and made his way out of town. Geralt could be angry at him if he was alive, but otherwise he could keep his grumbling to himself.

He found the dead beast first, it’s throat slit nearly through, feathers and blood everywhere. There was so much blood, Jaskier’s stomach turned as he took in the places it pooled. It hadn’t been recently. 

He spun on his heels, searching around for any sign at all of Geralt. His eyes landed on a smear of blood against the stones, sliding away from the carcass. He moved along the rock face, moving steadily. His foot hit against something metal and he looked down to find Geralt’s medallion. The chain was broken, and there was blood caked into the embossed wolf’s head. 

“Geralt?” Jaskier’s panic finally flooded out of his throat and he hurried along the path until he came across a small outcropping. He froze in his tracks, trying to gulp down breath. A tattered boot stuck out of the small crevice. “Geralt!” 

He stumbled as he rushed forward, finding his witcher in near tatters, tucked into a sliver of an opening in the side of the rock. “One piece, remember, Geralt? I told you! I said come back in one piece and you agreed!” Jaskier babbled as he slung off the pack, panting slightly. There was blood everywhere and though it looked as though most of the wounds in Geralt’s chest were healing with the help of his mutations, everything still looked bad. 

“Jas?” Geralt tried to sit up, his hands fumbling out for Jaskier’s. “Jas, wh-” he swallowed thickly. Jaskier set aside the bandages and potions and took out the waterskin, pressing it to Geralt’s lips.

“Not now, dear heart, I am trying to be very cross with you like I promised because one of us has to keep up our end of the bargain.”

Geralt swallowed the water that was given to him and choked for a moment. He sat up a bit more and Jaskier rushed forward on his knees as he nearly fell forward. Over his shoulder, Jaskier could see more tattered armor and skin, angry welts and skin still stitching itself together across Geralt’s shoulder blades and the back of his bicep. 

“Jaskier, it hurts.” Geralt murmured, pressing his face into Jaskier’s neck, his uninjured arm wrapping awkwardly around his waist. 

“I know. I know it does, darling. It’ll be alright” for a moment he simply carded his fingers through Geralt’s hair and held on. “Lay back for me and we’ll get you sorted. Where are the potions you had?” Jaskier started going through the pack he brought, pulling out the potions he knew would speed along Geralt’s recovery. He should have brought Roach. They’d have to make camp not a dozen yards from that rotting beast and it was bound to attract trouble. 

“Used or smashed, damn thing grabbed me then dropped me.” Geralt gulped down the Swallow Jaskier pressed to his lips, his nose scrunching at the taste. “Gods can’t they make it not taste like shit?”

“No, now drink.” Jaskier hummed brightly.

“Ass,” Geralt growled but there was no heat to it. 

Jaskier was about to lob his own insult back at him but then their eyes met and what ever he was going to say died on his tongue. Geralt’s eyes were clearer and he was grinning up at Jaskier with a challenge but his eyes… oh. His eyes were so fond and something like an explosion went off in Jaskier’s chest. 

Oh.

“Jaskier,” Geralt caught his wrist as he was packing back up the supplies, pulling it to his chest. 

“No,” Jaskier said flatly but he let Geralt keep hold of his wrist.

“I… what?” Geralt frowned from where he lay, still dazed and too pale, even for Geralt’s standards.

“No. No you absolute bastard! I will kill you myself. You hold that thought till your skin isn’t just one big tattered mess and you’re not buzzed out on witcher potions. Then we’ll talk,” Jaskier huffed. He rolled Geralt gently to his side, definitely not to avoid looking at him and reached for the needle and thread. “This one is going to need stitches. There’s nothing for it. It’s deep, even for your potions.” 

“Really leaning into that being mad at me, huh, lark?” Geralt had the nerve to chuckle but winced as it jolted his ribs. 

“Cheeky shit, watch that I don’t sew your mouth up next,” he hummed casually. He set to work his task, feeling somewhat more sure of himself without Geralt making those eyes at him. 

“Hmm…” 

By some unseen blessing of the gods, Jaskier managed to get Geralt back to the village before sundown and into bed. They slept curled around one another well into the next morning, Jaskier pressed against Geralt’s back, his arm around his waist as he slept. He pressed his forehead against the space between Geralt’s shoulder blades, kissing his scars gently, their legs tangled. 

“I’m sorry I was cross with you,” Jaskier whispered as midmorning light fell across them.

Geralt rolled, untangling them gently before tangling them again this time, Jaskier’s face tucked into his neck. “I’m sorry I didn’t try to stay in one piece, thought to be fair, the griffin just wouldn’t listen when I tried to explain it to him.” 

“Showed him, didn’t you?” he sighed, burrowing in closer, taking in the warmth from Geralt’s body pressed in a firm line against his. 

“But, I am no longer a tattered mess or buzzing on witcher potions,” Geralt said softly into Jaskier’s hair.

“Geralt…” Jaskier whined. Strong fingers wound into his hair, guiding his head back until lips were pressing against his, firm but gentle. There was no demand in the kiss, just grounding surety of what came next. 

“Oh no, a deal is a deal,” Geralt grinned, his fingers running down Jaskier’s spine. He had to have been able to feel Jaskier’s heart jackrabbitting between them. “I love you and I should have said it sooner. I love you and it shouldn’t have taken a fucking griffin nearly killing me to find the ner-”

Jaskier cut him off with a rough kiss, a gurgling kind of laugh bubbling in his chest as he pressed Geralt back down into the mattress. “Of course I love you too, you absolute fool.”

Of course, both thought they were getting the better end of that particular deal.

---

Tag list as stands <3: @jaskierswolf @geraskier-trashh @electricrituals @elliestormfound @artistsfuneral @thetinymm @fontegagrilledcheese @anythinggoesfandoms

[psychicdreamfriendoperator]

I feel bad for clogging up your ask box but I really wanna hear more of your headcanons you have😭😭do you have any about hino? Like about how he is, his personality, etc. Paru not developing him more was a crime

Potential Triggers

child exploitation / mention of child exploitation

insomnia / mention of insomnia

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Don’t feel bad— including the ask you sent last time, this is only the 4th ever ask I’ve gotten on this blog!

In any case, answering asks is a lot of fun 👉🏾👈🏾

For some of these headcanons, I took several . . . creative liberties — after all, Paru gave us crumbs regarding any Shishigumi member that wasn't Ibuki or Agata :'D

Hopefully this is what you meant! If it wasn't, feel free to resend the ask!

— Psychic

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History

“Looks bring jobs.”

That was the message Hino’s mother instilled in her son.

As a sex worker, her appearance was her everything.

Her beauty and charisma allowed her to cherrypick wealthy clients; their dirty money funded her lavish lifestyle.

When she grew older, and when life in the Black Market began to take its toll on her youthful appearance, Hino's mother saw her son with new eyes, and in those eyes, she saw an opportunity.

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“Hino, you're such a pretty little thing.”

Her hands caressed his cheeks, and she pulled the skin there, pulling Hino’s eyes up towards her.

She hummed beneath her breath, a guttural noise. “I've always said that you have my looks and none of your father's, you know.”

“Hah...” Her grip tightened.

Long digits combed through his mane, curling and pulling gently on the smaller hairs. His mother's gaze seemed to wander over his body, and her eyes shone.

“We're going out tomorrow, Hino.”

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Hino was rented out as if he were a party favour.

He was exotic . . . male lions with such handsome colouring were a rare delicacy— he grew up hearing those words.

One day, he didn't return home.

He had been scouted, and then swiftly recruited by leader of the Shishigumi, who recognised that the boy could be useful to the syndicate.

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Personality

Hino typically adopts a suave, yet charismatic persona when interacting with clients or animals who are not part of the organisation.

His true personality is more withdrawn and is filled with self-loathing for the childhood and young adulthood he will never be able to get back.

He feels very detached from everything some days, and his insomniac episodes do little to help.

Still, Hino is a loyal member of the Shishigumi.

He considers the inner circle of the syndicate to be the family he never had— even after acknowledging the criminal nature of it all.

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As horrid as his past was, he still led a reasonably charmed life, and sometimes, his behaviour reflects this.

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Hobbies, Skills

Hino has become the unofficial mane-stylist of the Shishigumi.

He also applies all of his own make-up; both skills are leftovers from his younger days.

Free also convinced Hino to give motorbike riding a try— the latter seems to be a natural at it.

As for hobbies, he prefers activities which require little to no energy, or activities that are repetitive.

Reading, and casual videogames such as Beast Crossing, Harvest Sun and Starmist Ravine are all very popular with him.

Recently though, he's taken up bullet jouranling and watercolouring.

He would love to take up sewing as well but he'd have to find the time for it.

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Quirks, Odd Habits

Hino’s voice hardly ever goes above a purr. It's a force of habit, as well as what's most comfortable for him.

Whenever the Shishigumi kill someone, Hino's the one that divides whatever loot they find among the others.

Speaking of looting, he also steals any antiques or similar valuables he finds in a target’s residence.

He's found quite a few good things this way— a mirror, some wine glasses and even an old sewing machine.

He's also a bit of a pillows collector: he has many types, almost all of which are differing shapes, colours and lengths.

Hino has difficulty falling asleep, but once he does, he can sleep just about anywhere.

It isn't uncommon for him to fall asleep on a sofa and end up with half his body on it, and the other half on the floor.

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Contrary to popular belief, Hino is not very self-absorbed at all.

Common Misconceptions, Miscellaneous

He has a resting bitch face; he doesn't hide it within the Mansion, but when conducting business, he makes an effort to do so.

He does the bare minimum to keep himself looking “presentable”, and often uses as few products as possible.

Playing up on his natural beauty, and yet not dolling himself up too much is a delicate balance.

Moreover, Hino also doesn't wish to grow dependant on any products— he's seen what that type of dependency can do to a person.

People also tend to assume that Hino is sexually active; he isn't.

His youth really turned him off of sexual relationships, for obvious reasons.

This may come as a surprise, but Hino still keeps in touch with his mother, and even sends money to assist with her living expense.

He does not want any proper relationship with her though, and for the most part, he keeps in contact because he feels obligated to.

As horrible as she was to him, he still considers her to be his mother.

And, by paying for her lifestyle, Hino hopes that it discourages his mother from taking a child off the street and exploiting them as she did to him.

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Romance

Hino doesn't give a damn about appearances.

To him, the most pleasant part of a person is their personality, their thoughts, and the way they view the world.

At the same time, he doesn't wish to burden a future partner with his trauma.

It will take him a long time to open up fully about the life he led as a child.

But once Hino has opened up to you, he becomes more outwardly affectionate.

Sex is okay, but being able to hold his partner — or be held by them, is something that the lion absolutely loves.

Patience, understanding and empathy will go a long way.

[stitch1830]

CHARACTER DESCRIPTION: KANTO

So this is a character description for the character Kanto that @precious-metal-girl and I created for AUs where he is in a loving and committed relationship with Toph Beifong. Part of this is to help me keep track of all of his features and personality traits, and if others are looking to write about Kanto but aren't sure about how to describe him, feel free to pick and choose characteristics that meet your AU needs! This will (hopefully) be a living document where characteristics are added and changed over time. If you are curious about our AUs or want to know about a particular trait/personality, feel free to ask us questions!

......

Born: ~88/89 AG (summer)

Residence: Republic City

Hair Color: Black

Eye Color: Green

Element: Earthbending/Metalbending

Occupation: Deputy for the Republic City Police Department, Metalbender Division

Nicknames: Hotshot, Dep (short for Deputy), Slick, Botany Boy, Pretty Boy, Metalbrain, Metalhead, Rockhead, K, My Rock

Relationship: Toph Beifong

Background:

Kanto grew up near one of the Fire Nation colonies close to what is Republic City today (part of the reason why his name has FN influence). His father took many different jobs and tried to avoid fighting in the war as long as possible so he could stay with his family, while his mother was a seamstress for the town. Often, he would help his mother sew clothes, and because of that he was pretty crafty and good with his hands. He lost his parents at age 7; old enough to remember them and his childhood, but all the memories are pretty blurry.

What he does remember is that his family was pretty poor, but they always had something to laugh about.

He loved learning new skills with his dad, and had his mom read the same two books they had every single night. And one thing he always remembers is eating together as a family.

His parents died either in an accident for rebelling against a FN rule (maybe the FN wanted to take Kanto away for being an earthbender), or from protecting Kanto in general.

Kanto was always pretty feisty as a boy, pushing people’s buttons and egging people on. It only got worse when his parents died because he pushed buttons out of anger now.

He also had a lot of friends, but after, he didn’t talk to anyone for a while because he ran away. Most of his fighting skills were learned while on the run, he never got any formal training until he went to the metalbending academy (maybe 17 or 18? Toph managed a different part of the academy so she didn’t know him. That or he went to a different academy branch entirely).

One thing he remembers is that he was happiest with his family, so he cherishes the idea of a happy family unit, and he constantly searched for something that made him feel close to that happiness.

Personality:

The first impression people get of Kanto is that he is a no-good, arrogant, bad boy. He acts as if he’s the coolest person in town and always has something sassy to say in response. More than half of the words that come out of Kanto’s mouth are flirtatious and sarcastic, a combination that initially drives Toph Beifong crazy.

But in reality, Kanto is an extremely loyal man who’s rather selfless, putting himself in harm’s way so no one else has to. His initial personality is a front to protect himself so that he doesn’t befriend anyone too much, because he knows what it’s like to love people and lose them. He hated how he felt when he was orphaned and never wanted to feel that way again.

When his facade finally cracks with Toph and she sees the real him, he’s actually… a dork.

He’s got a very goofy personality, he gets excited about little things, and his passions do not necessarily align with his looks and his first impression. When he loves people, he does so with his full heart, but again, he’s hesitant to do so with many… His family are essentially the only ones that see him this way.

Looks:

Kanto is most certainly a hunk. He’s got a similar skin complexion to Toph, thick and wavy (borderline curly) black hair (Toph loves playing with it), broad chest and shoulders (a fit and toned body overall), a mischievous, slightly crooked grin (left corner turns up higher than the right) that makes all the women of RC swoon, a crooked nose from being punched in the face one too many times, and classic earthbender green eyes. He’s also pretty tall, that’s where Lin gets her height from, well over a head taller than Toph And despite being an earthbender, his hands and fingers are actually rather long and nimble. Some popular fanart interpretations of Kanto can be found here and here and here and here and here.

Interests:

Kanto likes flowers, he often brings new ones home (especially when he’s with Toph) so he can teach her about its qualities and so they have a nice and natural floral scent in their home. He’s obsessed with pro bending like Toph, and often will attend matches with her. Astronomy and biology are also interests of his. Toph and Kanto also have a cool rock collection, both are trying to best each other to find the coolest one. Kanto reads science fiction novels to Toph in their downtime and he’ll play the guitar or pipa.

Fears:

Kanto is afraid of bugs, he doesn’t care for large fires that can get out of control, and big animals make him nervous at first contact. When Lin’s in the picture, he freaks out when there are too many sharp corners in one place. He’s always afraid she’s gonna fall and hit her head. Kanto also doesn’t like those rip tides or currents in oceans/large bodies of water.

Some of his deeper level fears include losing his family. He cannot stand the idea of losing Lin or Toph, especially if the reason they are missing or gone is because of him. He’s lost his family before, and he’ll be damned if he loses them again.

Flaws:

A lot of his flaws stem from his stubbornness and confidence. He’s arrogant, overconfident, prideful, and impatient. He knows he’s good at his job and he’s not afraid to talk about his skills and talents, and unless he’s working specifically with Toph, he assumes he’s the best for the job.

He’s flirty, sarcastic, reckless, and a bit of a slob (just his home, he keeps a clean appearance). Kanto’s constantly ragging on coworkers, has comments for days, and it’s rare for him to speak in a serious tone while on the job. Just doesn’t happen.

He’s protective, reckless, a troublemaker, skeptical, and vengeful. When he actually finds love and has a family, he is extremely protective, to the point where if criminals threaten his family, he’s not afraid to take the law into his own hands to eradicate the problem. One of these would be his fatal flaw, maybe vengeful? His vengeful tendency could be from a need to retaliate to protect his family from a threat, and that ultimately may take him down.

His flaws mainly seem to come from his overconfident front that he gives to the world. He doesn’t let too many in, or, he lets people in, but they don’t see the real him. Kanto doesn’t trust people right away, but it’s easy to get along with everyone if you just have this confident and charismatic face on. But his ‘face’ seeped into his actual personality, so there are times when he shouldn’t blurt out the first stupid comment in his head, but he does.

Gaang First Impressions:

Aang: He’s always extremely happy and excited to meet new partners, so he was thrilled to meet Kanto. They definitely don’t see eye-to-eye on a lot of things, but Aang is great at being friends with everyone despite the differences, so there’s no animosity.

Katara: She’s skeptical at first, because Kanto acts like a douche and has a bad boy persona. Katara just doesn’t want to see Toph get hurt, so she interrogates the man a bit (a lot), but even though the things he says concern her, he’s a gentleman to Toph, very attentive to her needs. So, maybe he’s not so bad… Later on, she knows the bad boy look was all a facade and that Kanto is a sweetheart, and she grows to really like Kanto.

Zuko: He gives Kanto a very cold shoulder at first. He’s very protective of Toph because he thinks of her as a little sister. So, he crosses his arms, glares a bit, and Kanto glares back because that’s what he does at first. But then, they start going on double dates, and Zuko and Kanto turn out to have a lot more in common than they realize. They’re buddies now!

Sokka: Sokka’s attitude really depends on ship preference with him, but in most HC’s, he’s Toph’s best friend, so he would also be distant with Kanto. He wouldn’t like how cocky he is, or that he’s super tall and talented at many things… he’s not a fan. However, Toph is always super happy around Kanto, he makes her laugh, and no one is allowed to insult Toph without an ass whooping from both Kanto and Toph, so, he warms up to the guy. He’s been seen buying Kanto a beer after a long day of work as a truce, and he often goes to Kanto if he needs police paper signed and expedited (Kanto does the same with Sokka, it evens out).

Suki: Suki is pretty chill about it all. She’s pretty perceptive about personalities and whatnot, and she can detect a bit of a bad boy mask. So, she treats the introduction casually and is super cordial with Kanto. They never become best friends or anything, but she was one of his first “allies” in the Gaang, and for that he is forever grateful.

Other Facts:

His mannerisms are that he walks with a slow swagger. Often the slowest of the group, he takes his time whenever he walks places. But don’t let that fool you—he can sprint really fast. He leans back in almost all of his chairs, sometimes he leans too far back. Kanto was a notorious manspreader when he would sit down, but since being with Toph, she put a stop to that instantly. When he’s restless, he bounces his leg a lot, and usually only stops if Toph reminds him (usually a hand to his leg to calm him down). Kanto also runs his hand through his hair a ton to either push it off his face, or just on instinct. He fidgets with his hands, too, Toph does as well. Usually, the two will hold hands or play with each other’s fingers to ‘remedy’ their nervous tick. In extremely stressful situations (like an AU where Lin is kidnapped), Kanto usually throws up and doesn’t sleep at all.

Kanto’s voice is a mix of a rural and city accent, once Republic City becomes prominent. He uses slang in his speech often and mainly uses city words (he picked up a lot of city lingo when interacting with criminals and undercover work back in the day). There are a few words and phrases from his childhood that he uses that scream ‘rural kid’ and that is mainly when the distinction in his accent and speech is picked up. His voice is smooth and deep when he casually talks. When he yells, it becomes a bit gravelly and husky sounding. Oddly enough, when he whispers, the same thing happens.

Kanto smells like the earth or something with a forestry scent (cedar comes to mind). He wears cologne, and the scents he usually goes for are ones that smell like earth, wood, or resin. Kanto likes wearing cologne, but he can’t put too much on, otherwise it bothers Toph’s nose, and he typically checks to see which ones Toph likes, and he’ll purchase that cologne again because he knows she likes the smell. He naturally smells a bit like metal and dirt and a bit of smoke (he was a casual smoker before he had Lin). All these scents are not prominent, but by the end of the day, these are the scents that can usually be detected.

Some of his pet peeves include fake apologies, when people kick or shake the chair he is sitting in, any slightly insulting remark toward Toph, close talkers, people that interrupt frequently, and those that correct his grammar.

Kanto canonically only has one daughter, Lin. In this AU, he’s a loving and committed father who emphasizes putting his family first and protecting them. He doted and hovered over Toph while she was pregnant, cried tears of joy when Lin was born, and is very attentive and caring toward Lin. He’s the one that soothes her when she cries out at night, he’ll get up in the morning with her so Toph can sleep in, and when he comes home from work, he smothers her in kisses and gives her raspberries on the belly (affectionate). Even as a baby, Lin was a Daddy’s girl and Kanto spoiled her as much as possible.

In the relatively canon compliant AU, Kanto dies when Lin is about 6 months old. He left for work, had a run-in with a bloodbender (or an accident on the job), and never returned home. On the day of his death, Kanto planned on proposing to Toph, but never got the chance.

Lin knew about her father growing up, but he wasn’t talked about often because it is a touchy subject for Toph (and for most that knew him well). On her 13th birthday, Lin receives the engagement ring on a necklace, along with a handwritten letter from Kanto.

There are many AUs and headcanons related to where he lives, but those are very fluid and change all the time!

[luvlyrv]

My Model | Yeri x f!Reader College!au

Genre: College AU, fluff

Summary: Yeri needs a model for her final project. You need some money. With the time you spend working for Yeri, something starts to bubble up in your heart.

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: Ah, school's already started again. What a bummer. It's almost 2AM and my sleep schedule is still very much fucked. Whatever, I'm feeling kind of down in the dumps so I wanted to write something cute. I also am considering writing a mafia!au series for Irene, please tell me if you'd like that or not! Otherwise, just enjoy this writing please :) even though I feel like the quality is significantly worse than my other writings. OH AND HAPPY NEW YEAR! AHH ALSO IN THE MIDDLE OF WRITING YERI POSTED ON IG. 

Date: 1/6/2021

It all started when you spent Saturday evening venting out all your stress to your close friend, Sooyoung.

"I'm sorry, I know we're supposed to be relaxing together right now but it's the only thing on my mind! I mean, they laid me off work last second and it's not like I have another job lined up and waiting for me. I wasn't even a bad employee! They were just trying to cut costs!" You tiredly half-shouted to Sooyoung.

She sat on the other end of the couch, body bundled up in your blankets while nodding. She patiently listened to your worries and complaints. After you had said what was on your mind, you both decided to binge some awful zombie movies.

* *

You were quickly redoing some of your notes when you heard a faint vibration coming from your phone. You picked up your phone, checking the notification from Sooyoung that just appeared.

"heyyy, i know this isn't an actual long-term job that ur looking for but i have a friend who could use some help rn! she'll pay!"

You feel a spark of excitement as you begin to type back a reply.

"Yes!! Anything helps. I don't care what it is I'll do it."

"are u free tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"her name is yeri and she just needs a model for her to create some outfits and shoot pictures of. meet her tomorrow at xxxx at three?"

"Tell her sure thing :)"

With that you returned to studying with a small smile on your face with a little bit of your worries melting away.

* *

You rock back and forth on your heels, nervous to meet a stranger. You knock on Yeri's door only to be met back with a faint clatter and muffled footsteps. A short while later you hear some muttering as the door finally opens. 

"Hello!" 

While you were curiously scanning the area around her dorm room, the sudden sound of her voice made you shift your focus to the now open door and the girl standing in front of you. You felt your body stiffen as you made eye-contact.

"Ah, uhm, hello! Hi, you must be Yeri, right?" You manage to say aloud.

"Yeah, and you must be Y/N! Nice to meet you. You can come in." She says as she steps aside to make room for you.

You enter her room, only to be greeted by materials being strewn across nearly every piece of furniture possible. A clean mirror was in the middle of her room and a sewing machine sat off by the side.

"I'm a fashion major if you couldn't tell already." Yeri half-joked with a smile gracing her lips.

You smile back at her. "Yeah I assumed so from what Sooyoung described yesterday. How much are you paying again?"

"Well, I assume you took this job because you're a desperate broke college student. I am also a desperate broke college student. I'll give you around $25 after every session. I can't pay much but I'll try. I mean, you're giving me your time after all."

You nod at her answer. "Sessions? Am I going to have to come over multiple times?"

"Yeah, I have to create three different outfits. I'll just get your measurements today. After that you'll have to come over and model and make sure that they fit well and so I'll know if I have to do any revisions. So, mind if I start taking measurements now?"

"I wouldn't mind at all."

Yeri pulls out a measuring tape and begins to measure your body. She makes sure your posture is correct, placing a hand on your back, sending miniscule shivers down your spine. She moves around your body carefully making sure everything is accurate all while giving you the faintest touches around your body. You felt bad. There wasn't anything unprofessional about this situation at all, yet you couldn't help but to feel your face heat up a little. Yeri was a pretty girl and you just couldn't help but to melt around pretty girls. You found it a bit adorable to see her so focused on her task at hand. 

All too quickly Yeri announced that she was done taking your measurements. 

"Is that going to be all for today then?"

"I guess, I'll start working on the outfits now that I know your sizes." Yeri is already going to her sewing machine, her hand reaching out to a sketchbook you didn't realize was there before. "Oh! By the way, we should exchange numbers so I can tell you when we should meet up again." She says while looking back at you.

You pull out your phone and walk closer to her, the both of you exchanging contact details.

"Thanks for today, Y/N. I'll pay you next time you come. I'm sure you'll love the way these outfits look on you too!" 

You make your way out of her room and shut the door behind you for her. 

* *

Time has passed and you've already been to Yeri's place a couple times. Each time feeling a little bit more suffocating under Yeri's overwhelming presence. The way her eyes would look at you, carefully judging the details of the clothing she put hours of hard work in. The way she'd always thank you for your time. You couldn't help but want to know her more.

Despite wanting to get closer with her though, you never seemed to text her for any reason besides modelling for her. Sooyoung kept encouraging to just talk to her casually. You tried to follow her advice, tried to convince yourself that it wouldn't be the end of the world if Yeri didn't want to text you back, but every time you began to write a hello or considered sending her something you chickened out.

Today was another day where you would visit Yeri. You enter her room, basking in the warmth of Yeri's now familiar and welcoming smile.

Wearing the third and final outfit of Yeri's project you shyly spoke out, "Well, do you think this one needs anymore revisions?"

You watch as Yeri once again eyes you up and down. Yet, something felt different this time. Or perhaps you were making things up in your head. You watch as she turns her head back up to you with shining eyes.

"I think you look wonderful."

You purse your lips as you feel your heart beating way too fast.

"Honestly, this is my best work yet! God, I'm a genius. Hey, one day Y/N I'm gonna become a top designer and you'll be my model again. Got it?"

You crack open a smile along with Yeri at the sight of her enthusiasm. Although you didn't really feel close with her, let alone as close as you wish the both of you could be, over the past couple of weeks it felt like the two of you had warmed up to each other.

"I really appreciate the offer." You tell her with sincerity in your voice. It seemed like there would be no more revisions though, and no more revisions meant no more modelling for Yeri. With that your happy mood seemed to be ruined as you sighed and spoke out. "Well, I guess I'll change and be on my way then. Thank you so much for allowing me to work with you, Yeri."

After all this time, you failed to get to really know Yeri. You felt upset at the fact that it felt like you just wasted a chance to do something. Even though you'd still have her number after today, it was a near guarantee you'd still be too chicken to ever message her something. Disappointment began to build up in your mind as you made your way towards a room to change clothes. All of a sudden you heard Yeri's voice calling out to you.

"Y/N, if you really want to thank me, why not go on a coffee date with me sometime?"

[lady-of-the-lotus]

Looking through a paperman's eyes, Xiao Xingchen can suddenly see again.

See Chengmei's face.

Xue Yang's face...

His mind split between multiple papermen, Xingchen fractures.

Xue Yang breaks with him.

E - Xuexiao - Read on AO3! - Head the tags! ; ) The art here is only tonally appropriate for this chapter... Chapter 2

Chapter 1 of 2

They walk for an hour and a half, cross-country. Rumor of a new threat had found its way to their corner of Yi City. Disappearing people, strange sightings, the usual, except there have been none of the normal signs of demonic activity.

Chengmei, impatient as always, had wanted to fly, but Xiao Xingchen had insisted they get some exercise.

“The weather is nice, and there’s no need to rush home,” he says. “A-Qing has gone off again.” Every few months, A-Qing’s restlessness resurfaces and she disappears for a few days, making Xiao Xingchen worry until he hears the tap-tap-tap of her stick on the stone of the courtyard.

“She’ll be fine,” Chengmei says. “She was on her own her whole life.”

“I know, but…”

“She was doing better than you were, my friend.” Chengmei laughs, touching his elbow, sending a little spark up Xingchen’s arm. “I still can’t believe you gave her your coin purse.”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“Well, if you’d asked me—”

Xiao Xingchen smiles in anticipation of whatever he’s going to say, but Chengmei breaks off abruptly with a low whistle.

“We’re here. A burial mound. Or rather, a mass grave.”

Xiao Xingchen’s sword is already out. “The resentful energy is quite strong.”

Chengmei snorts, something Xiao Xingchen has learned is his way of rolling his eyes so Xiao Xingchen can hear. Xingchen smiles to himself. He does this on purpose sometimes, winds Chengmei up, ruffles him. He delights in how expressive Chengmei’s voice is, how he wears his emotions on his sleeve, good or bad.

“‘Quite strong’?” Chengmei teases. “It almost bowled me the fu—the hell—no that doesn’t work—”

Now Xiao Xingchen does laugh. He can’t see Chengmei’s face, but hears the smile in his voice.

“Bowled me the fig over,” Chengmei finishes.

“A good save.”

“I know, right?” A creak of leather as Chengmei crouches. “There’s a stone headstone type thing here. I can’t quite make it out in this light.” Another creak as he seats himself on what seems to be a small cenotaph. "Probably from the war."

Xiao Xingchen frowns at him.

“How did you know I sat on it?” Chengmei shuffles his feet in the grass as if he’s risen, but he remains seated on the cenotaph.

“I know you too well, I suppose.”

Chengmei laughs. “You really are something else, daozhang.”

Xiao Xingchen waits for him to expand on that. He’s long since learned that Chengmei does that sometimes, throws out a non sequitur or random statement, sometimes to get a reaction, sometimes to change the subject, without really thinking it through.

Xiao Xingchen likes it, usually. Keeps things interesting. Often just by his remaining silent, as if uninterested, Chengmei will immediately follow up with something even wilder.

Tonight, however, his companion is silent, as if lost in thought.

“Get up, Chengmei, please. Let’s at least try not to anger malevolent spirits this time.”

A creak as Chengmei rises. “Still mad about what happened last week, I see.”

“That ghost almost killed you, all because you had to make fun of her fingernails, of all things!”

“You should have seen them. Just because you’re dead doesn’t mean you can’t be well-groomed.” 

“Chengmei…” He sighs, but he can’t contain a smile. “Describe what’s around us. What are we looking at? …You looking at,” he corrects himself before Chengmei can.

“Bones, all over the place. Scattered over the burial mound. Rather homey.”

“Human bones?”

“Human and animal, by the look of things. This reminds me of the time at this little inn in Bianzhuang, where the soup had the most suspicious-looking pieces of—”

A bellowing sound cuts him off. “On your left!” he hisses, but Shuanghua is already up.

A crashing of underbrush, a foul stench of rotting meat, a rattle of displaced bones. The earth shakes beneath the creature’s hooves, he hears the rush of air around a supernaturally huge monster, but there’s not a hint of demonic energy, and for the first time since he lost his eyes, Xiao Xingchen is afraid. 

Chengmei is reckless—

He lashes out, aiming at the sound. He hits something solid, and the beast roars, enraged. A cry from Chengmei and Xingchen is flung out of the way, tumbling to the rocky ground, out of the path of the charging beast.

The all-too-familiar sound of something piercing flesh. The scent of blood.

Xiao Xingchen slashes at the smell, aiming far enough away from the sound to avoid striking Chengmei. Shuanghua strikes flesh, hits bone, and is almost jerked out of his hands by the bucking creature. It turns and charges at him, dragging Chengmei along with it, by the sound of his tangled curses—

He ducks out of the way at the last moment. A crash as it thunders through the underbrush, turns again—

Chengmei’s voice, raised, half-choked: “Fuck you, stay away from him—” A stabbing sound, an angry cry, and something strikes him hard in the midriff, sending him slamming into a rock.

Blood again

His blood—

A bellow of pain. Distant, echoing. Chengmei’s shout, the whistle of a blade through the air.

A stabbing sound.

More blood, blooming thickly on the warm night air.

Xiao Xingchen passes out.

* * * *

 At first, the only way he knows he’s alive is the blinding pain in his skull.

Blinding pain. Ha. That’s funny. Something Chengmei would have teased him for saying—

Memory rushes back to him. Patting around for his sword, he tries to get up but falls out of bed.

He’s safe at home in the Coffin House, on the floor beside Chengmei’s bed. He recognizes the creak of floorboard, the scent of the drying herbs strung from the rafters, the melancholy whistle of wind through the gaps in the walls.

“Daozhang!” A hand at his elbow, guiding him back into bed. “You’re awake!”

“What happened?”

“You saved my life. The usual.”

“What was it?”

“Hell if I know. Some kind of boar monster. Take more than some pig to kill me, though.”

“What time is it?”

“Still night.”

Xiao Xingchen struggles to marshal his thoughts. “You almost died.”

He can almost feel Chengmei’s shrug. “Not the first time, and it won’t be the last time. Well, the ‘almost’ part might be the last time; I might actually bite it next time.”

Xiao Xingchen doesn’t bother trying to parse that one out. “Are you hurt?”

“Nothing serious.”

Xiao Xingchen frowns. “Come here.”

“Come…”

“I can’t get up. Come here.”

Hesitating, Chengmei crawls into bed beside him.

“Take off your clothes.”

Normally this would elicit an off-color joke that would have Xiao Xingchen frowning at him and blushing, but now Chengmei hesitates again.

“I…well…”

“You are hurt!” Xiao Xingchen pats him down, forgetting his headache in the sudden flurry of panic. He should have reacted faster last night, should have killed the beast with his first blow, should have protected Chengmei—

Bandages beneath his fingertips, bare skin, a slight stickiness.

“The tusks!”

“Ruined a good robe, having to cut it off,” Chengmei says, back to his usual casual, flippant self. “Not sure even you can sew it back up. The robes, I mean, not my side.”

Xiao Xingchen’s heart is beating so fast he feels dizzy. “You almost died, Chengmei—”

“So did you.”

Xiao Xingchen pinches his temples. “You shouldn’t have shoved me out of the way. The boar—the boar gored you—”

“Just a flesh wound.”

“We—we should go back to its lair when we’re better, bury the bones—”

Chengmei snickers. “ ‘Lair’?”

“As soon as you’re stronger, we’ll go back.”

“I’m fine now.”

“How many stitches did you need?” An inane question, but something simple he can use to ground himself. It’s starting to sink in now, his mind fully clearing: his blindness in the face of the beast, the boar’s agonized bellow, the fear in Chengmei’s voice—

He had almost lost him tonight. All because Xingchen had insisted on going night-hunting, continuing to push his own egotistical agenda on Chengmei despite the fact that he couldn’t see, selfishly endangering everyone around him. What had he expected to happen?

“Didn’t exactly stitch myself up,” Chengmei says. Lost in his own thoughts, Xingchen had almost forgotten his own question. “I sealed up my meridians, so it’s just pain, and I can handle pain.”

Xiao Xingchen reaches out again, touching Chengmei’s arm, and Chengmei inhales sharply.

“Your arm!”

He imagines Chengmei wrinkling his nose. “Well, the boar did a poor job of killing me, but an excellent job of shattering my arm. You know how it is.”

“I certainly don’t know how it is!”

“Left arm,” says Chengmei, as if that makes it better.

Xiao Xingchen is not a hugger, but he has a sudden overwhelming urge to fold Chengmei in his arms, hold him till Chengmei understands that this is not a normal way to react to grievous bodily injury.

“Not the first time it’s happened, and not the last,” Chengmei says, and Xiao Xingchen reaches out to take his good hand.

“I’m going to set your arm and stitch you up,” he says, “and then you are going to eat and go to sleep.”

“Fine, have it your way,” says Chengmei, teasing, but Xiao Xingchen does not smile.

He does not smile as he fashions a splint for Chengmei’s arm, or mops the blood from Chengmei’s torso, stitches the deep gashes in Chengmei’s side, or as he fastens the bandages around Chengmei’s middle.

“—nasty-looking bugger; I think it was some kind of boar crossed with a wolf, twisted and bloated by some kind of magic—it was powerful enough to mask its energy; that’s probably why Shuanghua didn’t sense it—”

Xiao Xingchen barely hears him. His heart is beating fast, and he’s so distracted by the fact that Chengmei almost died trying to save his life that he reaches up to adjust his blindfold and leaves a smear of wetness across his cheek.

The last of his clean blindfolds.

Another inane thought.

He’ll have to wash it out in the morning—

“All done? It was nothing, really.” Chengmei’s hand is on his arm. He’s very close to Xiao Xingchen as they sit on the edge of the bed, so close Xiao Xingchen can feel the brush of his shoulder against his. He radiates warmth, and Xiao Xingchen, perpetually cold, is seized again by a fierce desire to wrap him in his arms, curl into his heat, whisper to him that of course it matters if his arm is broken—

“You need to be more careful,” is all that comes out.

“I give you my solemn word that next time we go night-hunting, I won’t let you get knocked out again.”

Xiao Xingchen isn’t sure if he’s baiting him on purpose or if he genuinely means it. “I mean you need to take care of yourself.”

“Bathe more often. Got it.”

“Can’t you be serious for once?” Xiao Xingchen's voice is sharper than he intends, but it’s too late to take that back now. “If you were to be killed, I—”

“—would have one less mouth to feed.”

Xiao Xingchen grips Chengmei’s good wrist. “Chengmei—”

Chengmei laughs, bending his head slightly, his silky hair sliding over the gap in Xiao Xingchen’s open inner robe, tickling his chest.

“Chengmei, please be serious for once. If you were to be—”

“You look so pretty with blood on your face,” Chengmei interrupts, and that does something to Xingchen, sends a quivery rush of heat through his body. Chengmei slides to the floor, kneeling before him, trembling good hand resting lightly on his knee.

“I—”

Cheingmei's hand moves up his leg, finds Xingchen's hand gripping the blankets on the edge of the bed, strokes it gently, fingertip sliding over the sensitive skin between his fingers, over his palm.

Xiao Xingchen swallows hard. He’s trembling too now, heart pounding, the warmth flowing through his limbs gathering to pulse gently in one confusing, embarrassing place.

“Ever done this before?” Chengmei asks, almost murmurs. His voice is a mere shadow of its usual blunt, teasing self.

Xingchen twists at the sheets with his free hand, trying to keep his voice steady. He must be mistaken. Concussed, perhaps. Hallucinating. The pulse between his legs has become a throb, and that’s not helping his perception of things, either. “No, it’s not something I…get…get up, Chengmei, we were having a serious conversation. If you were to be seriously hurt, I don’t know what I’d—”

Again Chengmei cuts him off before he can finish. “You almost died tonight, daozhang. Let me take care of you.”

“That’s not what—” He gasps slightly as Chengmei’s hand moves back to his leg, creeps over his inner thigh, just grazing the half-hard flesh he wishes he could somehow hide.

Heat rises in his cheeks. He wants to pull away, cover it before Chengmei notices, but there’s a brush of fabric, a whisper of warmth breath, and then his half-hard—his half-hard cock is plunged in wet heat.

“I’m—I’m not—”

The wet heat disappears. “Is that a no?”

“It’s—” And suddenly all he wants is a return of the wet heat. Proof that Chengmei is still alive, still warm. “I’ll tell you when to stop,” he says. Trying to compensate for his inexperience, it comes out more commandingly than intended, but Chengmei gives a little whine and eases Xiao Xingchen’s knees farther apart, his bad arm wrapped around one leg, good hand wandering, slipping underneath him, brushing the soft, sensitive spot he’s never thought of touching before, fondling his—

“Not there,” he wants to say, but all that comes out is a little whimper that sets a flush of shame rising in his already-hot cheeks. Reflexively he digs his fingers in Chengmei’s hair, tugging it slightly, and Chengmei gives a little moan that sends vibrations over his painfully hard cock.

Chengmei’s head is moving now, up and down, tongue gliding along the sides of his cock, sucking hard on the sensitive nerve bundle beneath the tip, taking him deep into his throat. Xiao Xingchen forgets to breathe as he digs his finger deeper in his hair, tugging it again, and Chengmei full-on gasps, throat clenching around Xiao Xingchen in rhythmic convulsions. 

Xiao Xingchen comes, spilling deep into Chengmei’s throat. Chengmei swallows, an embarrassingly filthy wet choking sound, and Xiao Xingchen pulls his head off of his cock.

“I’m so sorry—” he starts, but then he’s on his back on the bed, and Chengmei is kissing a string of bruises into his throat, branding Xiao Xingchen.

“Good thing A-Qing isn’t home,” Chengmei whispers, and Xiao Xingchen laughs, shame gone.

“Let me try it,” he whispers. He feels like his bones have been ripped out, limbs calm and relaxed, but his heart is still fluttering.

The kisses stop. “Try what?”

“Lie down.”

“You don’t have to—”

“I want to.”

“You want to?”

Xiao Xingchen’s heart thuds against his bruised ribcage. His hands are shaking slightly, and he hopes Chengmei doesn’t notice. “Yes.”

“I…”

“Let me try.”

And then Chengmei is on his back, and Xiao Xingchen is trailing his lips down his bruised chest, down his naval, working himself up to do the thing he’s afraid of wanting as much as he does. 

A tinge of shame returns. To want to do something like this—

But Chengmei is warm, Chengmei is alive, Chengmei is his.

He takes Chengmei’s cock in his hand, squeezing it gently, examining it with his fingers, rubbing his fingers along the hot, firm sides, smearing it with the little pearls of moisture leaking from the tip. He’s never been so close to another man’s cock before. A new pulse rises between his legs, prickles over his legs, clouds his thoughts with renewed need—

And then Chengmei’s cock is in Xiao Xingchen’s mouth, a living thing, silk-smooth and pulsing with life.

It fills more of his mouth than he’d expected. Thicker, hotter. Heavy on his tongue, pressing up against the back of his throat, making his eyes tear up and jaws ache. 

“You don’t have to—” Chengmei whispers, fingers of his good hand tracing the top of Xiao Xingchen’s blindfold, thumb stroking the bridge of his nose, and Xiao Xingchen makes a little humming sound to let him know that it’s all right, that he wants to do this—

Chengmei pulls him off his cock moments before he comes, ejaculating into his own hand.

A flash of disappointment, as if he’d wanted to take Chengmei deeper into him, swallow him down, ingest him, absorb him.

Bind him to him.

He bends down to lap at the wetness slicking Chengmei’s cock, cleaning it with his tongue. Chengmei gives a little whimper but doesn’t push him away. Xiao Xingchen licks at the cum, thoroughly cleaning him before turning to Chengmei’s hand.

Chengmei, who has been lying very still, breath coming in soft little starts, suddenly comes to life. “Don’t—”

“It’s fine.”

“But—”

“Shhh. I want to.”

Carefully, Xiao Xingchen runs his tongue over Chengmei’s palm. It tastes of blood and the salty tang of his cum. He cleans the palm, between the fingers, taking two fingers into his mouth when he’s done. He likes the feel of having Chengmei inside him again, even just his fingers. Warm, alive —

Chengmei raises his legs slightly, framing Xiao Xingchen between his thighs. He tilts his knee, sliding his foot under Xiao Xingchen’s groin. He moves his finger inside Xingchen’s mouth, sliding over Xiao Xingchen’s tongue, soft and slow. Xiao Xingchen sucks harder, rolling his hips into Chengmei’s ankle, one hand on his knee, the other on his hip.

He doesn’t quite come, not so soon after his last climax, but the friction feels good against his groin, Chengmei’s legs solid against his sides, the pain of his bruises reminding him of how fortunate he is to have Chengmei here, Chengmei beneath him.

He releases Chengmei’s finger and inches up to lie beside him. Chengmei rolls into him, nuzzling his throat with his nose.

“If your body is shattered in six places, we can’t do that again,” Xiao Xingchen murmurs into his hair. Chengmei’s heart, pounding against his chest, beats faster, but Chengmei’s tone is his usual flippant one as he asks, “Again?”

“If you promise to take better care of yourself. No more stunts.”

“I promise. Word of honor.”

“That’s what you said when you swore you’d stop teasing A-Qing.”

Chengmei laughs, the vibrations soothing Xiao Xingchen’s aching ribs. “Yeah, but I actually mean it this time.”

Shaking his head, but smiling to himself, Xiao Xingchen pulls him closer.

* * * *

Chengmei is up before him that afternoon. He’s prepared a meal of eggplant and rice he just saves from scorching, something he only manages about half the time. Xiao Xingchen isn’t sure what there is in the Coffin House to get diverted by, but Chengmei is easily distracted.

“And then I have a surprise for you,” he tells Xiao Xingchen. He rocks back and forth on his chair the whole meal—he’s never been good at sitting still—and jumps up to clear the dishes when Xiao Xingchen has finished eating.

Xiao Xingchen sits and lets him despite Chengmei’s broken arm, afraid of mentioning the injury and bringing up what had happened the night before. Everything is all so—so normal, and he’s afraid that if he so much as asks Chengmei how he’s feeling, the spell will break, or worse yet, last night will have been revealed to have been a dream.

“I brought you this,” Chengmei says when he’s finished, setting something down on the table. He takes Xiao Xingchen’s hand and lays it on the pouch set down on the table, then pulls his hand away quickly, as if the touch of Xingchen’s skin is something forbidden.

An awkward silence. The warmth of Chengmei’s touch lingers on Xiao Xingchen’s hand—

Xiao Xingchen reaches up, lays the hand on Chengmei’s elbow, and the awkwardness is dispelled as if it had never been there. Chengmei leans over his shoulder, reaching around him. His cheek grazes Xingchen’s, as warm as his hand had been.

“I removed the beast’s core last night,” he says. “It was a spirit beast, the first I’ve seen in years. The core is strong. You can—you know, take it, use it to make spiritual tools or whatever…” He pulls away, and Xiao Xingchen quickly turns to glance sightlessly up at him over his shoulder.

"A real core?"

"As real as they come."

It’s an impressive gift, the core. The spirit beast’s magical essence, it can be used in elixirs and spiritual tools. Xingchen has never encountered a beast with a core potent enough to do more than make healing draughts and powders, but he can sense the thrum of power clean through the containing pouch.

Instinctively he knows that this is more than a mere gift. That for someone like Chengmei—a survivor, a forager, a scrounger, a child of the streets—to give up such an advantage, something that he could use—

He rises, pouch in hand, and lays the other on Chengmei’s shoulder.   

“Thank you, A-Mei,” he says.

He has nothing to give Chengmei in return except for that—“A-Mei”—but it seems to be enough.

Silence. And then, “Well, I’d best be letting you play with your new toy,” says Chengmei. “Be careful with it. It’s got more malevolent energy than I’ve seen anywhere for a while. You wouldn’t want a corrupted spiritual tool killing you in your sleep, would you?”

“Could that actually happen?”

“I wouldn’t let it happen,” says Chengmei, a bit too emphatically, and he slips out of the house as if he’s said too much.

Xiao Xingchen sits back down. He wants to rush out after Chengmei, plead with him to be careful, to not exert himself with his wounded side and broken arm, but instead he smiles fondly after him, hoping he’s looking over his shoulder, and turns to the pouch.

After a moment he rises, rummages through Chengmei’s small store of things. Normally he would never look through his things—(“Look.” Ha. What would Chengmei have to say to that?) but this is going to be a gift for Chengmei, as he’s not so presumptuous to think a pet name is much of a gift.

But this will help him keep Chengmei safe, and he would do anything to keep Chengmei safe.

Carefully, he cuts a paperman out of Chengmei’s talisman paper and lays it flat on his hand.

He’d only done this once before, under Shifu’s supervision, and it had drained his spiritual powers for a week afterward.

He’s stronger now than he was then, but he still knows the dangers of being trapped outside his body, of fracturing his mind between two loci, of the damage to his psyche if the paperman is harmed while he’s still in it.

He hasn’t dared risk anything like this since losing his eyes. He’s relied too heavily on his spiritual energy to find his way around and defend himself to risk losing it for a week. Had no one to protect his body while he was in the paperman, keep him from the thousand dangers of the road.

But he has a home now, and he can rely on Chengmei to look after him if he drains his powers for a few days. And he doesn’t think he will drain them—the beauty of the core is that it will provide an alternate source of power for the consciousness transfer.

Or rather, consciousness splitting.

If all goes well, he can split his consciousness between his body and the paperman on night-hunts, seeing through the paperman’s eyes, being able to see threats, monsters, demons, beasts, defend himself and Chengmei, so that last night’s events will never be repeated.

And—he can’t help but blush at the thought—he’ll finally get to see what Chengmei looks like. It’s not as if it matters to him. Chengmei is Chengmei. He’s his, no matter what. He already knows he’s good looking, going by overheard scraps of conversation, but that had meant nothing to him as a blind man, and he knows it will mean nothing even after he sees his face.

But to be able to gaze upon his face as he lies next to him in bed, look across the table at him at dinner, see the light catching in his eye as he laughs, finally see the smile that sounds so very infectious—

It’s worth the risk involved in splitting his consciousness between his body and the paperman.

And the risk in using the malevolent core. Chengmei was right—there’s a strong dark energy in the deceptively bright and golden core.

But he can handle it. Use the light, leave the darkness in the pouch.

He wonders how long he has till Chengmei returns. He checks the shelf—so he took a basket with him, that must mean he was going to the market. Not something he should be doing in his state, but at least it gives Xiao Xingchen a bit more time before he’s expected back.

He sits cross-legged on the mediation mat beside his old coffin—they really ought to move that out, make more room in the house—what will they tell A-Qing?—he’ll leave that up to Chengmei—he doesn’t think she’ll care much, but they’ll have to swear to secrecy; he can’t imagine the neighbors will like having two cut-sleeves in their town—

He takes a deep breath, trying to order his thoughts, but for once they refuse to be calmed.

Is he a cut-sleeve? Is that what this is? Outside friendship, he'd never had so much as a flicker of interest in anyone before, man or woman, but he’d taken an innate interest in women for granted. He should go back and examine the last ten years of his life, recontextualize the last fifteen years of his life, see if there were signs, revisit his time with Song Lan—

Another deep breath. None of this matters now. What matters is that Chengmei will be home soon, and Xiao Xingchen wants to surprise him. And how now Xingchen willl be able to examine last night’s stitches, make sure the splint is in correctly place, ensure that Chengmei heals properly.

Eat dinner on the porch, watching the sunset together.

See the moon.

Lie on his back, looking up at the stars....

Best not think about that. Best not get his hopes up in case he fails—

He does not fail.

It’s like a red-hot razor is slicing slivers from his brain, carving it in half. He’s about to cry out when the agonizing pain is gone and only the heat remains.

His own face looks down at him, its wide mouth hanging open slightly, eyebrows raised above the blood-streaked blindfold.

He drops the paperman in shock, and the room dips and whirls around him. Dizzied by the sense of motion despite being still, he immediately bends down to snatch at the fluttering paperman, stop its fall. It eludes him as, nausesous, he watches his giant hand snatch at his paperman face like an enormous white hawk grasping at its prey—

He slams his head into the table and falls off his chair.

Sitting on the floor with the paperman tucked safely in his robe, queasy with motion sickness, he laughs to himself at his own clumsiness.

He can see.

He can see.

He can see.

Xingchen is about to rise, look around, examine every nook and cranny of his suddenly-new home, when he hears off-key whistling from outside.

His pulse quickens. Chengmei is home, sooner than expected—

Chengmei steps over the threshold.

“I’m back, daozhang!” he calls. “Where are you hiding? I bought you some fresh apples; I thought we could cook them in honey or something, maybe add some sweet wine—”

Xiao Xingchen gazes at him in mute horror through the paperman’s eyes.

It’s him.

That’s Chengmei’s voice. His familiar cheerful, irreverent voice.

But the face—

Xiao Xingchen leaps to his feet, stumbling backwards over the chair and falling in a tangle of limbs to the floor.

Chengmei—not Chengmei—the imposter—is beside him in a moment, apples rolling across the floor and smashed egg oozing from the dropped basket.

“Daozhang!” He lifts him to his feet with his customary combination of gentleness and roughness. “I knew I shouldn’t leave you alone with your head injury!”

Xiao Xingchen’s knees give way. “I’m—I’m—you—”

Chengmei—the imposter—Xue Yang’s—eyes are wide. “What is it?”

“I—you—”

“Lean on me, daozhang. I’ll help you to bed.” Looping Xiao Xingchen’s arm over his shoulder, Xue Yang half-carries him to bed. The paperman is nestled inside Xingchen’s robe, vibrating against his skin. “You just lie there, and I’ll peel you some apples. Perk you up a little. Maybe don’t go to sleep for a bit, I once half-cracked my skull, and I passed out in a ditch, and when I woke up I—”

Xiao Xingchen doesn’t hear the rest of his story. Weak with horror, he stares at Xue Yang as he slices apples at the table, holding the fruit steady with the elbow of his bad arm. 

Bad arm. The arm with the hand that—that—

He hadn’t felt the glove the night before. Xue Yang must have taken it off.

Taken it off when they had—

He rolls over on his side and vomits into the water jug.

 * * *

Like it? AO3

[jizemderler]

What could never be {Kim Namjoon}

A/N: You’re the boys stylist and one major requirement for this job was being married to minimize the rumors about the boys. Now you were married when you got the job...

Part 2

“Jungkook don’t!” you warned him and reached out your arms as if you could catch him if he fell into the pool. “You don’t have any back up clothes.” you added and glared at him with your heart heating against your chest.

“Noona’s glaring at me.” he said to the camera man while backing up from the pool and you took a deep breath while shaking your head. You’re palms started sweating while you watched him so you rubbed them dry on your jeans. The ring on your ringfinger caught your attention and you turned it in between your fingers until someone called for your name.

You were flattening out Namjoons jacket while he watched you work. “Is this okay?” you asked while stepping back to look at him. “Move for me please.” you asked him and he lift his arms and turned his torso from left to right. “Your abs show a bit is that okay with you or should I change the length?” you asked him professionally and he thought about it for a second. “What song is it for?” you asked while looking at the list taped to the wall. “Oh, right. I would need to make a dress out of it if you don’t want your abs to show in that choreo.” you chuckled and he joined with his laugh.

“That’s it then?” he asked and you nodded. “If you’re comfy?” “Yeah.” he answered and you nodded again to dismiss him. “Call Taehyung in for me. He’s gonna complain about the weight of the jacket again but I can’t change that.” you said half jokingly and Namjoon chuckled while taking his shirt off.

“How’s your family doing?” he asked casually and your body tensed up. They knew that you were living alone with your husband. Well, your ex-husband. “Fine.” you answered quickly and didn’t look at him keeping your hands busy with the clothes. “Greet hyung from me.” he said and that made you look up because he would never greet your husband. “Sure.” you said after a fee seconds and he looked away. “I’ll get Tae.” he said after changing and left the room without saying anything else.

You finished work around 10pm and decided to grab a coffee before driving home. As soon as you sat down in your car you took off the golden ring and threw it into the box next to the drivers seat. You started the car and were about to drive off when suddenly someone knocked on the window. “What the..?” you said and saw Yoongi looking through the window mimicking you to roll down the window. “We’re going out to eat. Do you wanna tag along?” he asked and you thought about it for a second. You would feel alone at home so you agreed.

You were all sitting around a table enjoying some delicious korean barbeque when you noticed Namjoon looking at you. You catched his gaze and raised your eyebrows to ask him nonverbally what he wanted. He nodded towards your hand and just then you realized that you forgot your ring in the car. Your eyes widened and you pulled that hand under the table chuckling nervously. “My hands were swallen and I took it off.” you explained and he nodded.

***

It was about two weeks later and you had one on one sessions with the boys for the last fitting of their new outfits when it happened. You were standing in the hallway waiting for Namjoon to arrive. Jimin just had left and the studio was empty. You were writing something on your phone when you heared footsteps coming closer. “Hey!” you greeted him with a hug and he wrapped his arms around your waist. He was a giant of a man and you were kind of lost in his arms. “Hi.” he answered into your ear and a chill went down your spine.

“You ready to put the final versions of your outfits on?” you asked him enthusiastically as you stepped back and clapped your hands together. He nodded and you walked together into the fitting room. It was always fun working with Namjoon but today he seemed like he had something on his mind. He couldn’t hold still and it felt like he tried to escape your touch.

“Namjoon you need to hold still if you don’t want me to ram a needle into your chest.” you said while fixing the collar of his button up. You were finished with sewing the part and saw that you left the scissors on the table so you did what came first to your mind. You leaned in, your nose slightly brushing his neck and ripped of the excess garn with your teeth. “Got it.” you said holding the bit of garn up and smiled at him. You couldn’t really decipher the look in his eyes when you looked up so you were thrown off when he stepped closer and reached his hand out to pleace it on the crook of your neck to pull you in for a kiss. It was just a brief moment, just until you realized what was happening, his warm and soft lips against your. Before you could allow yourself to kiss him back you pushed at his chest and pulled away. “What..?” you whispered and covered your mouth with you hand. His eyes went down to your hand and stuck at your ringfinger. His own eyes went wide in shock and he reached his hand out but you stepped back.

“I think you should go.” you said while looking at the floor. “Noona- I...I’m sorry, I-...”

“Namjoon you need to leave.” you interrupted him and he let out a big sigh and started chewing his bottom lip. Seeing how cold you were he growled something, grabbed his jacket and left. As soon as you were alone you had to sit down and calm your nerves. “What just happened?” you said to yourself and traved your lips with the tip of your fingers. The feeling of his heavenly lips still lingering right there.

***

You didn’t talk to Namjoon for weeks after the accident. Whenever he tried to talk to you you brushed it off and kept working professionally. He was getting more fruatrated with every passing day and he snapped at last. When everybody else was out eating he pulled you into the very fitting room where it happened and locked the door.

“What’s this about?” you said and tried to walk past him but he blocked the exit. “We need to talk.” he said and you shook your head. “No we don’t”

“Yes we do. Listen.” he said and grabbed you by your shoulders. You wriggled yourself free and crossed your arms infront of your chest. “Look I’m not going to act like I don’t have any feelings for you because I do. But I shouldn’t have done that. I stepped over the line. You’re married and I don’t play that game. I’m really sorry. You were not wearing your ring constantly and he’s not picking you up from work and we haven’t seen him for almost a year now, so I got confused. I’m sorry these aren’t excuses. I shouldn’t have done anything.” he kept apologizing and the need to tell him grew inside of you with every passing minute. “I hope you won’t hate me. I will hold back and something like that won’t ever happen again. I hope you didn’t tell your husband. I don’t think he would appreciate you working somewhere where the guy has a crush on you. Let’s just atay friends and I’ll get over it. Just give me some time and don’t turn your back on me. That shit hurts even more. I don’t wanna loose you all together. I promise I won’t...”

“I got divorced.” you blurted out finally and his mouth fell open. “Wha-...”

“It’s been a little over a year. We got divorced but I’m still wearing the stupid ring of that bastard because I can’t loose this job. Not this too.” you said and looked away. “Please you can’t tell anyone. I’ll do anything you want I just need you to not tell anyone. Not even the b-..” You couldn’t finish your sentence because the next thing he did was cup your face with his large hands and kiss you. You were not able to kiss him back in the first seconds out of shok and tried to push him away but he was holding you in place until you gave in and kissed him beck. Your hands were resting on his chest and his wandered down to your hips. You parted when both of you were out of breath and he leaned his forehead against yours while smiling from ear to ear. You didn’t open your eyes and furrowed your brows coming back to reality. “We can’t do this.” you whispered and his smile faltered. “Why?” he said anxiously and you pushed him away gently. “Because I’ll get fired.” you said and he couldn’t answer to that. “I’ll talk to the managers...”

“No Namjoon. You don’t get it. I will get fired if we start something. It’s in the contract.” you said and stepped back. “I made a name for myself and work myself to the top here. If I loose my job because of a relationship with you, I will never find a nother job anywhere. No management will trust me anymore.”

“But we can try to...”

“Joon this is my dream. I worked so hard to get here. You’ll understand me better than anyone. I can’t loose this. I’m sorry.” you said and shook your head. This was really heartbreaking and you hated it. This could’ve been such a pure relationship, but it ended before it could start. He didn’t try to say anything but reached his hand out to take yours into his. He brushed his thumb gently over the back of your hand and amiled sadly.

“At least I won’t feel bad dreaming about you.” he said and your heart broke into a million pieces for a man who was never yours and could never be.

A/N: Part 2 anyone??? vdjdsn

[ziracona]

[Fate Grand Order AU] The Kid pt: 1, ... 8, 9, 10,?

“Ready?”

We both nod. Ritsuka takes a very deep breath, and exhales slowly. I know she’s scared, and it’s no wonder. I would be too, if I was her; who wouldn’t be?

I’m not though.

Really, not at all. I’m doing what I want, and I’ve got the best non-master I’ve ever had with me, and an archer I trust. I’ve survived the impossible, and I’m heading in for revenge and some rescues with a good plan.

I’m feeling lucky.

“Once we’re in there, stay close to me,” says Emiya.

Ritsuka nods.

“I mean it. We’re going to be stretched thin once the fighting starts in earnest, and neither he nor I are going to be as capable as we usually are. That means we’re going to depend on you to keep up and keep your eyes open. I won’t be able to watch you the whole time, but if you stay by me, you’re not going to get hurt. I promise.”

I look over at Emiya. He sounds so intense, and sincere. I still haven’t figured this guy out, but I can tell he genuinely cares about the kid, if for no reason other than she is a kid, and a nice one. I believe him, because I can tell it’s important to him, and not because she’s his master. He wants to keep her safe.

I mean, who wouldn’t.

Ritsuka meets his gaze and gives a very serious nod.

Emiya returns it.

“Good,” says Emiya, “I know this is a lot for your first time, but we’ve got a plan, and you’ve got two servants watching your back. Don’t worry. We’ve got this.”

You know she’s scared too, I think, smiling a little to myself.

“Like he said,” I promise, and I give her a smile when she glances my way, “We’re gonna keep you safe, and we’re gonna save everyone in there. Just you watch, partner.”

She smiles back and gives another nod. “Okay. Let’s do it.”

 -----------------------------------------------------------------

 This is some kind of sick joke.

Shit…

Where did they even get a nun? Where do you get someone for…for something like…this…

I’m not…not entirely sure this is happening at all. It happened before. But things look different. Feel different.

This. Didn’t…happen to me like this. It didn’t happen to me when I was a heroic spirit.

That’s about all I have energy to think about.

You forget, when it’s been long enough, that losing blood makes you nauseous. Why?

I don’t know.

I don’t know…

Wrists hurt, a little. They cut pretty deep—she cut pretty deep. Mostly I just want to vomit. I’ve wanted to vomit for days. I don’t know if I’ve ever wanted that as a heroic spirit before.

It’s not an impulse I’m…s-still supposed to have.

There’s so much sweat soaked into everything, my hair’s gotten matted to my face and it makes it hard to see anymore. I can really only make out anything from my left eye now. So tired…

I wish it would just fucking be over. I’ve died before; I could die again. Instead I’m dying, for so long. So long.

Why?

What on earth is the point in all this?

It’s dark in this room. It’s always so fucking dim. I can see her just fine though.

She’s…she’s here all the time, it feels like. It must be more than one of them. It gets hard to remember, but, none of them look like my cousin did. I guess that must not matter.

Does to me though. Makes this whole thing feel like a joke. They didn’t quite do it right.

I wonder if it’s just that someone really hates me?

I’ve made my fair share of enemies, I’m sure. Can’t think of why else someone would set this up. They’re really taking their time if…

- 

I zone out, or pass out. I’m rarely sure anymore. Consciousness comes and goes, but it comes more than I wish it did.

I’m so tired. I feel cold and hot at the same time, but mostly cold. Strange.

Losing blood, just feels weird. Disoriented, sick. Pain is better, pain you can focus on. This is like…being ill. You’re not all there.

For some reason it makes me angrier I’m on a bed.

I forget that part. Bolted down with several bands—I’ve tried to break them when I’m conscious enough to remember I should, but there’s some powerful antimagic on them, and whatever they’re made of, it’s meant to repel heroic spirits. I can’t do shit to them, not like this anyway. I can’t flee either. Tried that before I tried anything else.

Laid on a cot, bolted down to it, bleeding and bleeding and bleeding from wrists slit so deep. They never stop bleeding, and I never run out. I’m always just on the edge of it, just on the edge of having so little my brain has to shut down, just little enough I’m nauseous and cold and pouring sweat. It hurts, but not as much as dying should, and that makes it worse too. Someone’s hunted hard for the way I died, and recreated meticulously but not so meticulously as to make me think I’m important one of the worst things that was ever done to me, and to add insult to all that I’m dying slowing for days and days on a bed. Like there’s any point in pretending this isn’t as brutal as possible.

It’s funny it was one of the coins I gave her they used to summon me. Makes me furious. Of all the catalysts.

I guess someone was really proud of their poetic timing.

 I tried, a couple times, to talk to the nun in here. She’s always nearby. Sometimes she comes over does something to the cuts on my wrists. I thought she was cutting deeper the first time, but she isn’t. She’s…play-acting. Like there’s any point to that, to any of this shit.

I tried talking.

I…

When did I get here?

It’s too much, trying to focus. I have to stop and clear my head because the nausea is too damn strong. Wait, breathe, try and stay calm, try and not pass out.

…I got here… Don’t know when. That’s okay. That’s okay. Who was there?

…

She was. One of them. Summoned me. I remember…being a little shocked, to see a nun dressed like that in this time. I should have been more suspicious. Used a seal on me. To…

…Lay down.

That’s right. Fucker. Of all the things. Not pass out, not stop moving, not ‘don’t resist.’ No. Go lay down. Go stick your own head under the guillotine.

Fucking mages.

Lay down. And ‘stay there’.

I remember…knowing it was bad when I got the first command. There’s nothing normal about being summoned into a small lab room with nothing but a chair and a bed in it. Magic resistance isn’t my forte, even as a knight class, but I tried. God, that hurts. I don’t think non-spirits have any fucking idea how much it hurts to try and resist a command spell. It feels like every atom of your body is being ripped apart by your attempt to pull away from it. It’s fucking excruciating.

But I’m not stupid, and I knew it was bad. So I tried. She ordered me again, same command. That’s right…. Right. And I couldn’t stop then.

Bottoming out, strange feeling, like I knew I was about to die. It felt, surreal… Always does, when someone who isn’t you is walking your body around with you still inside it.

Laid down. And she commanded me to stay there. I thought she’d be out then, but she had more than three somehow. I tried to resist that one too. The whole time she was fastening bolts in place over my limbs and throat and torso so I couldn’t move once the spells wore off, the whole time she was setting her fucking bowl up under my arms, and the whole time she was cutting into my arms.

…

She didn’t even do it fast. Just calm, and casual. Like it was any other job. Like she was…oiling a lamp or something.

When I realized there was no way I was going to make it out by resisting, I tried talking to her. I was afraid she’d order me to shut up too, but she didn’t. Didn’t seem to feel a need to.

I asked her what she was doing, what she wanted—why she was doing it. I tried pleading. It’s been a long time, but once the knives came out, and everything clicked as what it was, I did. I tried telling her she didn’t have to do this, I tried pleading with her to not, to stop. To tell me why.

She never even looked me in the face. Not like she was afraid to, either. Afraid to feel guilt. It was like it wasn’t worth her time.

 There were others, after the first. I’ve tried talking to them all. I’m sure I’ve forgotten faces, and tried more than once.

Most of them don’t even look at me.

None of them ever even give me an answer.

No one’s even told me why I’m here.

I have no idea what they want. Why they’re doing this.

How long it’s been.

If it’ll ever end.

 I’m so tired. I would give anything to be able to just vanish into the shadows right now and breathe again, for even five minutes.

 Funny. Usually I try so hard not to spend too long thinking about my old life at all.

It’s hard, you know. I try not to think about that either, but normal people, they get afterlives, reincarnation, something. For us, going on after we die means we just don’t see the people we loved again. Even if we’re…unlucky enough they’re also made into a heroic spirit, we maybe cross paths once every 300 years, and then it’s with mages forcing us to take up our weapons and kill each other in some ritual we never cared about at all.

So I try not to think about them. Because I miss them.

Of course I do. We all do. And I don’t think I could stand thinking about that much.

God I hope they’re happy, and that they’re together, all of them, wherever they are now.

I hope Little John was okay. I hope Will didn’t blame himself, when I was the one who didn’t take his advice.

I hope they know I miss them.

I hope they understand why I try so hard not to think about them.

I love them way too much to let myself do that. I’d never be able to bear it.

But.

It’s so hard, like this. I try, but I can’t not think about that Priory in Kirklees. I can’t not think about the one person with me, or the people I left behind to get there.

…

I remember still. How sad he looked, when I asked him to bury me somewhere green. I knew he would do it, though.

I’ve never gotten to see my own grave. I went to look, once, but I know the place there’s a marker up isn’t the right one. Little John has a nice one, though. Under a yew tree. It suits him.

Please. I can’t.

 I can’t.

I turn my head, slow, and find the woman dressed like a prioress from another time. She’s sitting in a chair nearby, sewing. God knows why.

There’s no reason to try again, but there’s no reason not to.

“Please,” I try. My voice started sounding hoarse days ago. Now it’s just…weak and dead. I know she can hear me though. She doesn’t acknowledge it, but there’s a little change in her posture, and I see it. Come on. What do you have to lose? Or to gain? “At least just tell me why I’m here. It can’t hurt to tell me that.”

This seems like the one I have the best chance with. Nobody who won’t tell me why they’ve been slowly killing me for days on end in the most fucked up way maybe possible is going to come free me.

Just like before though, she doesn’t answer. Doesn’t even look my way.

…I think the bitch smiles. Why?

God damn it.

And then it’s just back to sewing. Like I’m not in the room.

Why. Why won’t you tell me? Why!

 I give up. I turn my attention to the bars I’m under, and use every bit of strength I have to try and weaken the restraint bolting down my right hand, like I have every time I’ve tried this. Pretending I might somehow eventually chip away.

Like every other time, the only thing that happens to me is I pass out.

 When I wake up again, and my weak vision focuses enough to see well, it’s another woman in the chair, but I recognize her. I’ve tried talking to her before too. How many of them are there in rotation, six?

Where did you come from? Why would you want to do this? What kind of job posting did you even answer to fucking walk in here like this?

Like she can sense me thinking, she turns and glances my way, sets her needlework aside, and stands.

Great.

Wish I’d stayed out, but, it’s a mind game, so of course she was waiting for me to wake up.

I consider trying to knock myself out again, but that would just postpone this, and I am later-me, so there doesn’t seem to be a point. I watch with numbed dread as she picks up a small knife from a little table by her chair and walks over.

“Still afraid to look me in the face while you do that?” I say, hoping to provoke any kind of a response. I don’t get one.

Of course. Figures.

She stoops by the bed and readies the knife carefully by the vein that is still very much bleeding and not even starting to coagulate in my left wrist. This is gonna hurt.

There’s a sound like a truck hitting a wall, and we both jolt and turn our heads to look towards it. There’s nothing there though—still just us in the room.

I listen, ears straining, desperate for any change to this endless fucking routine, and I hear…is that. …It can’t be gunfire? Can it?

But that’s what it sounds like. For just a second, but I could swear...

I don’t think the prioress actor can hear it, because she isn’t as alarmed as I’d think, hearing gunfire, but she’s definitely on edge after the crash. She stands up, knife still in hand, and gives the direction the thud came from a wary look.

Please be someone shooting the building up. Just come in here and put a bullet between my eyes and send me back to the throne—I’m begging you. Mercy kill me. Please.

Shit, that won’t work will it. Fuck—I have god damn catalysts. They’ll drag me right back with that coin.

Not if they’re all dead, though. I pray to God in my head that this is some mage-on-mage war breaking out and that might happen. I doubt I’ll be that lucky though—feels like a long time since my prayers were so miraculously answered.

I stop hearing what I thought was gunfire, and my heart sinks.

The fake prioress stands where she is a few more seconds, still wary, then seems to calm back down, and turns back to me again.

Shit.

There’s a smashing sound and sudden light from the far end of the room, and in the second I squint, trying to adjust to it, there’s a flash of intense motion that’s humanly impossible and something rams into the prioress’s face and sends her flying back so hard she dents the wall behind me, and I’m suddenly looking up in shock at the worried face of a heroic spirit I know.

No. I’m dreaming. There’s no way this is happening to me for real. I don’t have good luck of any kind. There’s-

“Robin!”

But that’s his voice. Sure as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Out of everyone in the world, somehow it’s one of the few heroic spirits I can call a real friend.

“Billy?” I manage in disbelief. Even with limited vision from one eye, it’s clearly him. Jacket and shirt bloody like he’s been shot, but acting completely fine, colt in his hand—Oh my God.

“In here!” calls Billy over his shoulder, then he’s beside me in a heartbeat, taking in the scene for a split second before immediately going for the restraints.

“Wait, don’t-“ I try to warn him, but I’m too late, and he yelps in pain and snags his hand back shaking it reflexively. “Anti-spirit enchantment,” I explain sympathetically.

“Damn it,” says Billy, still shaking his hand, “Okay—hang on—Ritsuka!”

The name is delivered over his shoulder, and I turn to look and see two more figures. There’s a taller spirit whose form I find vaguely familiar, even though I can’t see him well, standing by the door. Lookout, I think. And then a smaller person—a girl, a kid, running towards us.

A…Not a spirit—a mage?

Must be.

Doesn’t smell like one though. Just smells like a human.

When she gets close enough to see me, she skids to a momentary stop and her eyes go wide with horror and she looks sick, but before Billy even has to prompt her, she’s moving forward again, and she makes it to me out of breath in only another second, casting Billy a worried look.

“I can’t open them,” explains Billy quickly, gesturing to the restraints, “I could try and blow them off, but that’ll be loud, and it’ll be a—”

“—I-I got it,” she interrupts, “But how do I—” She stops and stares at the bolts holding me down and furrows her brow, then gives Billy a confused look like this is some kind of trap. “But they’re not locked?”

“Was mine?” asks Billy.

His? …Oh no. Oh Billy, I’m so sorry. I try and remember how he died. I think it was a shit death.

“Yours was different—I mean, it was sort of locked, but it was all hooked up to a computer. This is just…a little twist lock, like a door bolt,” answers the girl.

“Doesn’t matter,” says Billy, “He can’t touch it.”

“Oh—Oh right!” she says, realization in her face, and then she’s turning the locks on the bolts and tugging them up and off me as fast as she can. She does the one Billy had indicated, my left wrist, first, but then she gets the one on my neck, and something about that makes me like her. It’s not the most practical choice, but it was the most distressing one, and I like what that says about her priorities.

“Hi, uh—” she hesitates to give the fake prioress a kind of worried grimace, then looks back at me as she goes, “Y-you’re gonna be okay, okay?”

“—Robin Hood,” adds Billy for her with a nod. Her eyes widen.

“Robin Hood?”

That’s nice. Still surprises me when someone reacts to my name like they just heard ‘King Arthur’. Who’d have thought?

“R-Robin Hood,” she says again, nervously turning back to me and trying to give a reassuring smile as she unlocks restraints, “We’re here to help. We’re going to rescue you and all the other heroic spirits trapped here.”

‘Other’? God, I wonder how many more of us there are… I’m working hard to think fast about what those words might mean.

She gets the fourth bolt and something happens and I suddenly feel overwhelmingly sick, and my vision goes black and I’m gone.

 I’m not sure how long it’s been when I come back. My head is throbbing and my body feels weak and drained, and I’m so terrified that this scenario I can vaguely remember is some fever dream and it’s just going to be me and that woman in this room, but when I open my eyes, there’s two blurry figures above me, and one silhouette is blonde and the other a redhead, and in the six seconds it takes for my sight to focus that makes me hopeful.

“Robin?”

Billy’s voice, and I can tell from his tone he’s called my name several times. I vaguely register pressure on my shoulder, gentle. He’s…worried about me…

“Yeah,” I slur a little, but I get out.

“Crap,” whispers the girl, who looks pale as a ghost now, “Robin?” she tentatively asks louder, “This thing they have you in, I think it’s what’s giving you enough mana to stay alive, and if I remove it-“

“-I’ll die,” I answer unevenly, filling in the blanks.

“Will you form a contract with me?” she asks worriedly, glancing at her hand, and then holding it out towards me like an invitation. “I-I promise I’m only here to help, so you can stay grounded a-“

“Absolutely,” I croak out, weakly slinging my bleeding left hand up as high as I can get it, “I accept your offer. Let’s do this.”

She looks kind of shocked.

“You’re with Billy. Who I trust,” I explain slowly with what energy I have left, and I see Billy smile out of the corner of my eye, “So I know I can trust you. And honestly, kid, I’d take anything over this shit right now. It really can’t get worse let’s do this.”

I meet her gaze, and she still seems a little taken aback, but relieved too, or happy, and she gives me a fervent nod and takes my hand in hers very gently, careful of the wound on my wrist, then places her right hand on top.

“My soul becomes your will; your spirit becomes my destiny. If you accept this contract with me, then answer my call,” promises the girl unlike any way I’ve heard a mage offer a contract to me before. I feel more like I’m being promised something than asked to sign a contract suddenly, and it’s an odd feeling. But a welcome one. “and bind to me; Archer!”

I look her in the eyes and say, “I accept your contract,” and there’s a flash of red light from her hand and I feel the connection take root and suddenly I’m getting a little stream of mana I wasn’t before, and my head feels clearer than it has since the moment I was summoned.

When I look back up, the kid is watching me worriedly, but she must see something good in my reaction, because she smiles at me and sets my arm down gently, then goes back to speed-ripping the restraints off. She’s down to like, ankles and one leg when she goes, “OH CRAP!” and pops back up into my view, since I sure as hell haven’t felt like trying to sit up yet, and whips around to face me.

“I-I’m so sorry—I’ll get those in a second, but let me—”

She’s going for my wrist, and I’m confused for a millisecond, then I get it and relax, and let her lift my arm. The kid does it gently, supporting my weight with her right hand and carefully placing her left over the wound, and she shuts her eyes and scrunches her face up in concentration, and I feel a faint pulse of mana, and the pain in wrist fades to almost nothing.

Pausing for a quick glance at her work and seeming relieved by it, the kid sets my arm down and does the same thing with the other. She’s sweating now, and looks a little shaky, but if she’s somehow supporting both Billy and me at the same time, it’s really no wonder her mana’s kind of tapped out. Actually it’s a wonder she’s signed on two servants. –she has, right?

Wait—shit. I forgot the one at the door. That’s impossible though, right? No normal mage has the mana for that, let alone a kid, and I don’t think we’re in a holy grail war right now or something. He must be contracted to someone else?

Finished, the girl goes back to freeing the last few restraints, and Billy kneels by me and tugs some fabric out of a pocket and takes my wrist himself. It’s not bleeding anymore, but the cut’s still there, which is about how it felt, so I’m not very surprised to see remnants of a wound. Billy begins wrapping the incisions for me, and I keep still while they both work. I know I’m gonna have to stand up in a minute, and I’m gonna need whatever energy I can get.

“So,” I say with a tired smile, watching Billy as he wraps the cut.

“So,” he echoes, grinning at me, “Surprised I swung in to rescue you? –Well, we swung in?”

“I mean, yeah,” I answer, “Completely. I can’t even pretend not to be.”

His grin widens.

“…Did you pistol whip that prioress into the wall?” I ask after a second, trying to keep the smile twitching at the edge of my lips from becoming real.

Billy glances over at where she landed with a bit of a grimace, then glances back at me and says, “Well, she was about to cut into you with a knife.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining,” I say, and I’m sure damn well not.

“She-she’s still breathing, right?” asks the mage kid worriedly, hearing us.

Billy glances over at the body again.

Huh. I guess the kid is trying to avoid fatalities. She must be his master too, the way she’s talking to him, and he’s acting, so she is supporting two. A little odd for a mage to be so soft, but I guess she is pretty young. Kind of nice. I guess. Though I really wouldn’t mind if that bitch was dead… Still, probably for the best.

“Yeah, she’s breathing,” confirms Billy before turning back to me, “Don’t worry—I definitely broke some bones, but she’s alive.”

“Oh good,” says the girl in relief.

“Didn’t know your precision gun skills extended to pistol-whipping,” I comment with a smile.

“Hey, they extend to everything,” promises Billy warmly. God it’s good to see him again.

“Why are you here?” I ask, glancing from him to the girl.

“Short version? She happened to see me in about the same spot you are, intervened, and we decided to take the whole place down, like you do,” says Billy happily as he finishes tying off the second bandage, “Archer at the door is Emiya—she summoned him to help us.”

‘Emiya’? I know that name—I remember him. Not sure where—maybe a summoning I lost memories of, but…I don’t have a bad feeling attached, so that’s a good sign. He’s another archer, isn’t he? Huh, what are the odddd----wait!

“She’s contracted to three servants?” I ask in disbelief as Billy slides a hand behind my back and starts to help me up.

“Oh she’s gonna be contracted to at least six before the night’s up,” says Billy.

I gape at the girl.

“I uh, I have weird mana,” she manages in a weak voice, turning red, “I mean a weird amount.”

“Yup, which works great for us! She’s not got much training, so we’re all gonna be running a little thin on mana,” says Billy. I make it to my feet and he lets go, keeping his arms up in case I fall, and I’m unsteady on my own, but I manage to stay standing. “Downside? No noble phantasms for anyone but me, and we all gotta be careful to stay material. Upside? She’s the only mage maybe on the planet who could walk through here and contract to six servants alone.”

“Well, it sounds like we got the better end of that deal,” I say, taking that in and giving my new master a curious once-over. Now that I’m thinking clearer, I see I was right. She’s young—maybe sixteen, seventeen? Japanese. Down a command spell, too.

“Oh, I didn’t introduce myself again,” she says, chagrined, and then offers me a hand, “Robin—i-is it okay if I—?”

“You can call me that,” I affirm with a weak smile.

“Thanks,” says the girl, smiling back warmly, and I’m struck again by just how young she is. It’s not like I’ve really had time to think…any of this through, but. She’s here, saving me. Saved Billy, apparently. She saw what was going on with me, God knows what she saw happening to him, and still, she’s here, stalwartly sticking it out. Just a kid.

I know that’s not right, and a part of me feels guilt suddenly, like somehow it’s my fault she’s here and in danger and in over her head, but it’s not, and I know that. I’m lucky she came here for whatever her reasons are, and I’m damn lucky she’s helping me, and all I can do about it is stick by this new master and keep her safe in thanks.

“Robin, I’m Ritsuka Fujimaru—you can call me Ritsuka,” she adds, offering a hand for a handshake. I take it.

“Nice to meet you Ritsuka,” I say, “Thanks for the rescue. I owe you big; just tell me what you need, and I’m yours, Master.”

Her eyes widen a little and her expression changes to distressed. Hm?

“Oh, please—just Ritsuka,” she says, “You aren’t my servant, and I’m not here to be your master either. I just want to be your ally. I-I mean, you’re Robin Hood.”

I blink, surprised. “You don’t want to be called that?”

“I don’t want to be that,” she says, flushing a little, “I know technically you contracted to me, but I promise I won’t try to force you to do anything. I don’t want to be your master; just your friend.”

That might be the sweetest thing someone has said to me in the last hundred years, and it’s some kid I’ve only just met who’s got no earthly reason at all to be helping me. Something about her in that moment reminds me of Will, something about the intense fervency and the delivery of such a dramatic statement with so much genuine meaning and complete sincerity you can’t help but find it impossible to mock. It makes me like her.

“Well okay then,” I say, “If that’s how you want it. You’re very generous, Ritsuka.”

She beams like that’s the sweetest thing anyone’s ever said to her in the last 300 years, and I see Billy watching like a proud parent or something, matching grin on his face.

“Okay, great! We better get moving. We’ve mostly been able to sneak so far, so keep it down, but they definitely know something is up. Come on!” says Ritsuka, turning back towards the door and hurrying off, waving me and Billy after her. Billy lets her get a little lead and then slides an arm around my back and helps me towards the door.

“Really somethin’, huh?” asks Billy very proudly now that she’s not in hearing distance.

“You really god damn lucked out, didn’t you Bill?” I reply, giving him a weak grin.

“Oh, more than I maybe ever have before,” he agrees readily, “Told you my prayers get answered.”

I smile. “Guess they do.” We’re quiet for a second as we catch up to the others at the door. I’m feeling better and better by the second, stronger. Should be able to walk on my own in less than a minute. I’m not getting a ton of mana from the kid up there, but it’s enough I’m healing at a decent speed.

I glance over at Billy once we’re about to them. He looks like he always has. Proud, happy, relaxed, sharp, young and full of potential and hopes and dreams. A more real happy than I’ve seen him look in a long time, but with it, I can see some very recent shadows lingering. I don’t know exactly what he’s been through, but I know it was like the hell I’ve been in the last few days, and that’s enough.

“Hey Bill,” I say quietly, and he glances over expectantly, “Thank you, for coming for me.”

He smiles. “’Course. What are friends for?”

“Saving each others’ asses,” I agree with a tired smile.

“Saving each others’ asses,” he echoes, pleased.

It’s familiar.

I’ve got no real idea what the plan here is, or what my next hour is going to look like, or even if I’ve got a snowball’s chance in hell of surviving it, but I feel hopeful. We’ve been in some dire straights together before, and made it out.

Besides, I already got quite a miracle tonight; what’s one more?

“Emiya, Robin,” says Ritsuka proudly, motioning from the tall archer, to me, and back, “Robin, Emiya.”

Emiya gives me a nod. He’s familiar as hell, and I see recognition in his eyes I think, but I just can’t god damn place him. I’m right, I can tell—it’s a summon I’ve lost memories from, god damn it. I fucking hate that. I don’t sense any animosity from him though, and I’m not getting any misgivings, so I figure we were at least completely neutral towards each other whenever we met, and that’s a good sign, all things considered. I nod back.

“So,” I say, glancing out into the hall curiously now that I’m there, “Rescue mission, right? For several more of us? We got an actual plan, or we just winging this?”

“Plan,” says Ritsuka like she’s a little surprised and hurt I think she would come here without one.

“Yes,” agrees Emiya, giving me a once-over before returning his attention to the hallway outside, “We’re getting as many of us as fast as possible, because at a power disadvantage, we can use the numbers. And the next step is going to be one floor up, six doors down.”

“Any idea who it is?” asks Billy.

This is the most I’ve seen of the place I’ve been stuck. I barely had time when I got summoned to register the fucking time period, let alone anything about my surroundings. It’s some kind of multi-story building though, modern, security everywhere. Right now, there are alarms blaring, but they don’t sound focused on this level. They must have created one hell of a diversion before coming in—probably the crash I heard earlier. There are about ten unconscious guards in my line of sight up and down the hall; I’m genuinely amazed I can sense them all breathing. I guess Billy was serious about the kid wanting them to hold back. That’s going to be a huge pain with us all fighting weak and wounded, but I guess it’s unavoidable, and I’m not in a position to look a gift horse in the mouth anyway.

“No,” says Emiya, “I don’t recognize the energy signature, and from Ritsuka’s description of the catalysts she saw—if we’re limited to them—could be a large number of spirits.”

Billy gives a nod, adjusts his hat, and casually slings open the barrel of his gun and reloads it without looking away from Emiya. “Well then, let’s go find out.”

“Fast, preferably,” I agree. I don’t care if it’s the most god damn annoying spirit I’ve ever met up there. None of us deserves to be trapped like this another second.

“Okay, keep quiet, stay close,” says Emiya, moving out into the hall.

Okay, I think, watching Ritsuka hurry into the hall after him. Billy gives me a look asking if I’m okay to walk, and I nod and he lets me go and together we step out after them. Alarms blaring, unfamiliar territory, one familiar person, and God knows what in store. Still, I think, keenly aware of the now very faint throb in my wrists. What a comfort relief is. Unlike any other sensation I’ve ever known. Not really anything new, is it? These kinds of odds.

I glance over at Billy. He’s excited and focused, gun ready, eyes bright. It puts me at ease to see it. He’s always like this in a tight spot, but then, he’s about the best spirit I’ve ever known to be stuck in a foxhole with.

I’m sad for just a moment, remembering other people it was good to be pinned down with. Thinking about the worry on his face when he got to my side, and how it’s not the first time a friend looked down in horror and grief at me bleeding out like that. All these things I try never to think of.

But you’d like him, Little John, I think to myself, cheering up a little at the things I know he’d say, He’s a ruffian and an outlaw and a loyal friend, and you’d like him right away—faster even than I did. I know it’s true; I know them both so well by now. He’d be glad there was someone taking up his place, when he couldn’t be here. It’s such a rare thing, for one of us to make a close friend once we’re sent to the throne.

Part of me wonders for a second if he’s why. It’s been a long time since my prayers were answered, but I wonder if my best friend prayed for it enough he got it.

We pick up the pace, and I hear people ahead and summon my crossbow, preparing to fight. I see knives appear in Emiya’s hands and Billy pull back the hammer on his colt in the same instant.

Probably not, I think, closing my eyes and letting myself smile in the one moment before we round the corner on a fight.

But maybe.

Which is a thought worth holding on to.

[taki118]

How I’d Rework Miraculous LadyBug

Miraculous Ladybug is one of the series that has such a good solid gimmick behind it that I like tricked myself into thinking it was good for far too long (a similar thing happened with Once Upon a Time). So I finally sat down on wrote out how I’d rework the series. It’s really just slight character, role and magic changes but I think overall it’d work out much better than what we got, in my opinion.

What I really strive for is the idea of real vs persona which each character show casing a duality in both and how different people act behind a mask. Honestly this to me is the most important accept of the series as its set with teenagers and aimed at a younger crowd who are just starting to find themselves. Anyway enough with the preamble changes below its a lot.

Marinette

So I’ve had a problem with Marinette since season one and it’s never gotten better if anything its only gotten worse. She has what I like to call romcom protag syndrome, Marinette is really good at a lot of things, with a wide array of interests that she's competent at and is very well liked but unlike a Kim Possible type where the narrative owns this and her being hyper competent is just part of her charm Miraculous wants you to think that Marinette is just like you’re average girl by giving her really like cosmetic flaws like a romcom protagonist. She's clumsy! (but only when its convenient) She’s shy and bashful! (but only when it comes to adrien), She overthinks and worries! (but not in a way that impedes her in a meaningful way).

You see what i’m getting at right? How can Marinette be your average girl when she’s already a skilled designer, makes friends with like everyone, can pick up skills insanely quick, is always in the right (even when really she should not be), gets good grades, is class president and her only real (in narrative) flaws are she’s clumsy, sometimes.

So in my reworking I want to make a clear distinction between their true self and persona and Marinette needs this the most.

First things first keep Marinette as very talented fashion designer BUT her sewing skills are not quite there yet. Look I cosplay as a hobby and let me tell you taking something from a 2D sketch to an actual piece of clothing is VERY difficult. Like and even if you manage to make it again what looks good on a sketch might not look good on a real person. So I want to showcase her struggling here, things not looking quite right and maybe give her a bit of a perfectionist problem like her friends don't notice the flaws but SHE does. I would also make fashion and clothes her hyper focus so much that while she CAN do other artistic things she doesn't really like it and struggles with it in a way she doesn't enjoy.

Next up I’d have activities she just can’t do, most important being she’s bad at baking. Like she can’t really help out at the bakery because she’s so bad at it, only able to take orders and clean up because her pastries always come out looking awful. This is because she lacks the patience for baking and the eye for it, though her food tastes fine they just look terrible. And it depresses her a little, even though her parents are fine with it.

I’d also up her clumsiness, like she’s not a good dancer, she slips a lot, gym is not her strong suit, is not graceful in any sense of the word the only time she is is when she’s sewing. Thus adding to her confidence issues.

Another thing I’d add is Marinette is CONSTANTLY over thinking things like to her determinate, like a lot of her clumsy moments comes from her overthinking things (this doesn't just apply to Adrien). And this aspect is shown to be a negative a lot in the narrative adding to her confidence issues. Like she’s constantly afraid Alya won’t be her friend anymore if she messes up, thinks that Tiki would be better off with someone else, and second guesses herself a lot.

Overall the picture I want to give Marinette is a girl holding herself back more than anyone else.

Ladybug

On the other hand when she’s Ladybug all her doubt is thrown out the window because she HAS to be decisive. She doesn't have the time to over think and talk herself into a tissy and because of this every time she succeeds as Ladybug her confidence in her persona grows. Putting that costume on makes her feel stronger, but the second it comes off the doubts sink in. If they depower during a battle Marienette is noticeably less sure and confident. Marinette

associates her powers with her confidence and as such can’t even picture acting like Ladybug without it. She does so so strongly that she thinks if Chat Noir saw the real her he’d be disappointed. In her mind Ladybug is everything Marionette is not and it adds to her complex.

Adrien

My biggest issue with Adrien is that there is very little difference between him and Chat Noir. One of my favorite things from the anime PVs was how very different you could see between Felix and Chat and how you could see so very much with so very little. I don’t think Adrien is as big a mess as Marinette but then we don’t get much from him  (which I would 100% change)

So in my reworking here Adrien would be a much more obvious people pleaser. He’ll agree to just about anything if asked because he’s terrified of people disliking him. He’ll let people take the last one of a thing he likes, will help with projects even if he doesn’t actually want to be a part of them and will assist people even if they are wrong because he desperately wants to befriend everyone. This will often lead to people taking advantage of and misunderstanding him. Like I want on more than one occasion a girl Adrien is friendly with seeing his people pleasing nature as a genuine interest in them leading to heartbreak and akumaization. This will also play into Marinette’s own worries about confessing to him as in my version he does treat her like a friend. A friend who’s gotten close enough to confide in at times (but less than Nino) but a friend all the same.

Also I would have Adrien just now returning to Paris having been living with his Aunt and cousin up until now due to his mothers passing making his relationship with Gabriel more strained than like abusive. And his experience in his last school was not great as it was a private school where his cousin made things difficult.

I’d also add in that Adrien feels like he has to be on his best behavior at all times for his family name and father’s company and will confess feeling stifled by it and that he doesn’t even like modeling, but its the only time he really sees his dad anymore.

Overall I want it to feel like Adrien is who he feels he has to be.

Chat Noir

When it comes to the Chat Noir persona this is what Adrien feels is his truest self. He acts and speaks and does as he likes, and sometimes he just messes around in the costume at night as stress relief. (maybe even have him not wanting to help sometimes because he just didn’t like the person akumatized and having to be bribed by ladybug) As Chat Noir adrien speaks more casually says whats on his mind no matter how cruel or crude it may be, and is 100% honest with himself and his feelings. To him Chat Noir is freedom and he’d rather die than give it up, it’s Adriens one real act of selfishness.

As such Chat Noir is the true Adrien and the person he is at school is the mask.  

Love Square

So with these changes how does the love square work? Um better in my humble opinion.

Adrienette: Marinette is attracted to Adrien for a similar reason to the series in that he’s nice and sweet and handsome, I wouldn't have her start being confrontational with him just not impressed until he does something she views as special to her, but to him it was nothing. Marionette is head over heals (but not to the creepy level she gets in the series) and jealous of any girl confident enough to ask him out. She’s constantly tripping over herself wondering if it’s better to try and move forward or stay where she is as a close friend. But Adrien doesn’t see Marinette as anything more than that he thinks she’s nice but isn’t attracted to her and never does anything he wouldn’t do with another friend and is oblivious to her interest.

LadyNoir: Chat Noir is attracted to Ladybug for her confidence and straightforward attitude and finds her lack of romantic interest in him all the more alluring. He’ll make grand romantic gestures without much thought and flirts regularly but Ladybug isn’t interested seeing him as a showboat who isn’t all that serious. She is good with them being friends but firmly stands that they are nothing more as she views being a superhero as a job.

MariChat: Marinette still finds Chat Noir obnoxious and nothing more than a flirt, but she also believes that if Chat Noir saw the real her he wouldn’t be interested. And he’s not. He flirts but not to the same degree as Ladybug ad Marinette hides her mocking nature of his more ridiculous moments. But when she’s just Marinette she sees just how genuine Chat’s feelings for Ladybug are and he compliments her in ways Adrien never would and seeing a slightly more confident Marinette

Ladrien: Adrien hides his feelings for Ladybug from others thinking they’d laugh (expect for Nino) so when he’s face to face with her he often doesn’t know how to act. For Ladybug her confidence does fall a little but is far calmer and more upfront with Adrien than Marinette is. As a superhero Ladybug tires to hide her feelings for Adrien but lets it slip more than once that she has preference for him making Adrien think he has a chance.

I would also have a moment where Adrien confesses his feelings to Ladybug and it leaves Marinette in a weird state. Cause he likes her but not HER her, and things become awkward between her and Adrien. Ladybug herself confides in Chat that the person she loves doesn't love the real her he tries to say how stupid this person is but she pushes back that he doesn't really know her either. Leaving things weird between all parties. just yes this is the drama i live for

Alya

So Alya I think is a pretty solid character, but I’d have her pushing Marinette more and be less coddling towards her. My Alya would practice more tough love and also would be less invested in her friends love life. I would 100% make it an issue for her too like have an ep where Marienette is so busy obsessing over Adrien that she forgets something important for Alya and she snaps at her. Also she’d me more into news coverage in general not just Ladybug. I’d keep her confident and self assured and make it a little more obvious that Marinette is mimicking her when she starts out as Ladybug.

Rena Rouge

Now I’ll get into kwamii changes and such later i’m just talking about persona changes for now. But as Rena she’d be more cocky and arrogant and would butt heads with Ladybug on strategy. Her confident nature as Alya is great for Marinette but as Rena it’s frustrating for Ladybug. Remember Alya is a superhero fangirl so she’d be all about the action and would think she knows better. And while she and ladybug don’t get along well she and Chat and two peas in a pod a difference from how Alya is with Adrien who she regards kindly but doesn’t think they gel well.

Nino

First off get this boy a better outfit. Second again i think he’s a good start to a character but I’d have him be in a similar situation to Adrien. His parents are rich and away a lot but unlike Adrien they allow Nino to do as he likes and most people aren't aware oh just who his parents are. So he and Adrien bond easily and he confides in him more than in the series. His laid back and trouble maker nature mix well with Adrien but he knows when not to push. However because of his easy going nature people dont expect a lot from Nino and don’t really register his serious side that Adrien does notice.

Carapace

As a hero I feel like he gets the short end in the series, so here his more serious personality comes out. As Carapace he takes super heroing very seriously and is more cautious willing to stand back and follow Ladybugs lead, and butting heads with Chat over jokes. Rena finds him a stick in the mud and he thinks she takes it too lightly.

Bonus for Alya and Nino i think they should date but i’d totally have them being that on and off couple who you can never tell if they’re dating at the moment or not. Just very chill and teenage.

Chloe

Ok I wanna make it apparent I could rant for hours about all the missed opportunities the series has taken with her. Like Chloe is by far the most compelling character they have and they seem to hate it. But not here not with me.

First things first no personality changes Chloe is queen and i will here nothing on it, but we will be altering how she engages with others and the narrative.

For instance she is Marinette’s rival but it’s not for no reason. Chloe also has goals to be a designer and feels threatened by Marinettes work and a little embarrassed they both want the same thing just for very different reasons. While marinette just purely loves fashion Chloe wants to be acknowledged by her mother (more on this later) As such her designs are more avant guard and less favored by her peers she also has professionals make her looks herself. So she gets infuriated that Marinette work is praised over hers. Add in that they both like Adrien and this makes for volatile interactions.

Now i’d also want to play more into Chloe being Adrien childhood friend. I’d have Adrien note that Chloe wasn’t always this way, and remake about how kind she was when they were younger. I’d also have him say she wrote him everyday when he wasn’t in paris and she never liked talking about school. I’d also make it apparent that her cutesy nature with Adrien isn't fake and that’s how she’d always been with him. I’d also have times where Chloe says no for Adrien on things she knows he doesn’t want to do (like he gets invited to something that involves a thing he’s afraid of and knowing he’d go she acts like its beneath him to do). I’d also have her crush being somewhat protective like her saying that she’ll only accept someone else dating Adrien if they’re good enough for him.

I’d also have her relationship with Sabrina similar only make Sabrina a little crueler on her own. But I’d have her agree with Adrien that Chloe has more to her than everyone thinks. My backstory being that during a time when Adrien was away but before Sabrina Chloe herself got used by kids who wanted to take advantage of her position instead of crying she chose to be mean taking the kids down a peg and vowing to not let others get the advantage of her. (Also her father didn’t help in her spoils nature but still)

I’d also have her being a long time fan of super heroes not always for the right reasons but a fan all the same and use this as a means of her and Alya not getting along.

All in all I’d want Chloe to be mean and bitchy for a reason not just a sometimes obstacle for Marinette.

Queen Bee

As Queen Bee Chloe is much more honest with herself, she still has some attitude but she excitable and eager to prove herself to Ladybug who she idolizes for being like her favorite heroes as a kid. With Ladybug she’s definitely a side kick sometimes to her determinate ignoring her own intuition. And with Chat Noir they have a more relaxed friendly nature with the two feeling an odd ease around each other. Like they’ve been friends all their lives and you can see this is how Chloe and Adrien would be if she were more honest. She also gets along so better with Rena and Carapace than Alya and Nino

Master Fuu

This guy needs such an overhaul I mean honestly if i were writing this I wouldn’t even have a guardian the kwamiis would just be chaotic objects of chance. But we got him so I’d make him far more mysterious I wouldn’t have him interacting directly with Marinette and I wouldn't make him the last just one sent to Paris to find the peacock and butterfly miraculous as they had been lost ages ago. I’d have him meet both Marinette and Adrien but have them not know who he is, just a kind old man who gives good advice. I’d also have him be the only one giving out miraculouses and keep all identities secret. Eventually he’d reveal himself to the main pair but it’d be more equal.

Changes to kawmi

So heres my hot take there should only be 7 active, the ladybug, cat, butterfly, peacock, fox, bee and turtle. Theres just too many we loose focus I’m not saying we shouldn't have more heroes but they’d be more minor recurring like they’re in two for the day or something type deal. The zodiac ones also act too much like dues ex for my tastes.

Another change would be the time uses, it’d go like this:

Ladybug and Cat those two can be used multiple times a day this is what makes them so powerful amount other things

Butterfly, Peacock, Bee, Fox and Turtle can only be used once a day or a week this being why we dont have Rena, Cara and Queen in every ep after their intros they have to be sure they’re needed.

(If we NEED the zodiac ones they can only be used less frequently making them more careful in choice)

Another thing is that while Tikki and Flagg have been approved for use the rest have to be activated by Master Fuu theres like a guardian magic thing that makes it so they can only be in stand by unless summoned by Fuu or Ladybugs Lucky Charm.

Another thing is that they can’t like psychically can’t reveal their identities while in hero form and if they transform or de-transform in front of others they will no longer be able to use the miraculous. Adding in further drama as even if they wanted to tell each other the truth they couldn’t.

I think these changes would make the story far more engaging and more definitive in rules.

Luka

His overall personality and role would be the same but he’d be more direct with Marinette none of this I’ll wait for you stuff he’d make his feelings apparent but would be open to other options if they come around and he’ll tell Marinette so. He also wouldn’t be very close to Adrien what I mean is he’d be nice to him but he’d be one of the few people who sees through Adriens mask and call him out not in a mean way but a like “you cant please everyone” and “you’re gonna hurt people like that” way. His main thing would be getting Marinette to not overthink and gain some confidence.

Kagami

Hers would be similar but less um stereotypical. She’d still be Adriens fencing rival with a crush on him, but like Luka she’d be more direct with Adrien with little interest in him acting nice. Stating things like she doesn't want to be his friend. She also would not befriend Marinette my Kagami wouldn’t have problems making friends she is just very hard to be friends with because of her personality, and finds Marinette’s wishy washy nature annoying. Kigali wouldn’t be cruel to her but she wouldn’t go out of her way for her. Overall Kagami would be stoic, sincere, straight forward, competitive and blunt. Her main thing would be to get Adrien to be more honest with his wants and putting himself first.

Class Changes

One thing that has always and will continue to annoy me about Marinette and Adriens class is how they’re all friends with each other, have these writers been to school????? Like I’m not saying they should be nasty but like they should just have different levels of caring. Not all the girls should be siding with Marinette all the time have one or two like Alix or Juleka being annoyed with her and Alya’s “plans” to get the two together (alix cause she’s seen this episode before and dense want to hear it and Juleka cause of her brothers feelings and Marinette not giving him a clear answer). Have one or two of the guys being annoyed with Adriens “Mr perfect” persona, again not overtly mean just don't get along. Like I’m not looking to make them antagonistic but just i think its weird that Chloe is the ONLY one who cant get along with everyone. Cause it’s just not possible especially with teenagers.

Change to Audrey Bourgeois & Mayura

Ok this is the big one and it might seem small but it changes things fundamentally Audery can’t stand Gabriel but was best friends with Emilie.

In my version Audrey is Gabriels biggest critic and never says away from taking shots at him particularly after Emilie “death”. She always considered him not good enough for someone she considered a sister, and blames him for what happened. Hinting that she may know more than we do.

She would also confess to Chloe that she left Paris out of grief she had so many memories in the city with Emilie that after her sudden death it felt wrong being there. Andre suggested she go on a trip to clear her head a few weeks, turned into a few months, turned into a few years as she avoided thinking about the loss. Of course a causality of this avoidance meant avoiding her daughter as well. She came back after Gabriel gave her a cryptic message and now is where this get interesting.

We start with Natlalie using the peacock miraculous but when Gabriel says this is too much for her and she wont use it anymore he means it. He brings Audrey into the fold showing her Emilie and asking for her help, thus she becomes Mayura.

As Mayura she’s very snide and snippy with Hawkmoth and often questions his plans and methods. She also notes Natalie’s growing feelings for Gabriel and remarks that she’s putting her life on the line for Emilie and insinuating that maybe he doesn’t love Emilie as much as he thought. An insinuation Gabriel doesn’t care for.

Anyway thats how i’d changed the characters, and powers for a more solid show in my opinion, I got no idea for plot cause I got no clue what they are doing. But I think this set up would yield better results regardless.

[mikauzoran]

Platonic Alyanette/Adrienette/Ladrien: Drunk Ladybug on My Balcony? Yeah. This is Fine.: Chapter Five

Read it on AO3: Drunk Ladybug on My Balcony? Yeah. This is Fine.: Chapter Five: Horrifying Realization

Marinette looked up from her sewing machine and noted that Alya was still glaring at a mostly blank page on her laptop screen, her cursor blinking tauntingly much where it had been fifteen minutes ago when Marinette had last checked on her brooding companion.

“Everything okay?” she tentatively called to her best friend. “You don’t look like you’re making much progress on that article.”

Alya growled softly, sinking back into the cushion of Marinette’s chaise longue and gripping her hair with both hands at the roots. “Ugh. I just can’t focus right now.”

Marinette spun around in her chair to face Alya and give her her undivided attention. She arched an eyebrow concernedly as she inquired, “Anything in particular on your mind? You seem kind of irritated. If you need to vent, I’m all ears.”

Alya blew out a sigh and sat back up, gently closing her laptop and setting it aside. “I’m just…baffled, and, you know me, I can’t stand a mystery that resists solving.”

Marinette cocked her head to the side, intrigued. “What kind of mystery are you trying to crack?”

Alya bit her lip, hesitating, not wanting to tip her hand. She shook her head and waved dismissively in an attempt to minimize the significance of the problem to Marinette. “Oh, it’s just something I’m investigating. It’s driving me nuts because…has Adrien made you watch Kurosawa’s Rashomon?”

Marinette pursed her lips and wrinkled her brow as she silently repeated the film’s title to herself, trying to summon up some recollection. “Maybe? Sorry. Which one is that again? He always refers to them by their original Japanese titles, so sometimes they kind of blur together in my head.”

Alya smiled affectionately, explaining, “It’s the one where the characters all give their accounts of the same events, but their stories are all different and contradict one another.”

Marinette’s eyes widened. “Oooooh. Yeah. Is that the one where the guy takes home the abandoned baby at the end?”

The smile melted off of Alya’s face, turning down into a frown. “That’s the part you remember?”

Marinette shrugged simply. “That’s the most important part of the film, isn’t it? After watching the ugly sides of humanity portrayed in the rest of the film, the guy taking the baby home is something that inspires hope for the future. I really liked that.”

“Huh,” Alya replied thoughtfully, seeing Marinette’s point. “I mean, yeah,” she chuckled. “I guess you’re right.”

Marinette nodded, a self-satisfied grin just peeking out of the side of her mouth. “Of course I’m right. Adrien really likes that part too.”

“Nino likes the cinematography,” Alya snickered. “After Adrien showed it to him, he went on and on and on about the camera angles for three solid weeks.”

“Typical Nino,” Marinette laughed fondly. “So…what does the movie have to do with your investigation?”

Alya sighed as the frustration came rushing back. “The people I’ve interviewed’s stories aren’t lining up. They can’t possibly both be telling the truth, and yet, I don’t think either of them is lying to me. At least, they don’t seem to think that they’re lying, so…I just don’t know what to think, Marinette, and it’s making me want to scream. I’m going to figure this out,” she asserted, fire behind the declaration. “I am fueled by sheer annoyance!”

Marinette nodded encouragingly. “You’ll get it eventually. I’ve never known anything to be able to stop you once you set your mind to something, so I’m not holding out hope that this mystery will stand a chance against you for long.”

“You better believe it,” Alya snorted and then took a deep, cleansing breath so that she could appear to switch topics. “…So…”

Marinette’s head tipped to the right. “…Soooo?”

“Bear with me,” Alya requested, “but I just had movie night with Adrien, and we were talking about some things.”

Marinette shifted uncomfortably, eyeing her friend warily. “What is it?”

“I was just wondering…have you interacted much with Adrien as Ladybug?” Alya put it out there and then held her breath, eager for the results that would crack her case wide open.

Marinette blinked in surprise and then seemed to consider, searching her memories.

Alya frowned slightly.

Adrien had said that he and Ladybug interacted regularly, that they often had conversations and hung out, that they were close. If that were true, it wouldn’t be taking Marinette this long to come up with an answer…unless she was hiding something from Alya. But why would she do that now that her identity as Ladybug was no longer a secret?

“No,” Marinette finally answered. “Not really. I mean, no more so than any other Parisian who gets caught up in the akuma attacks as much as he does.”

“So…you two haven’t, like, had any lifechanging heart-to-heart talks?” Alya verified.

Marinette gave her a strange look. “Nope. When I’m transformed, I have a job to do. We’ve made chitchat while I’ve carried him to safety from time to time, but I don’t recall anything revolutionary or earthshattering ever being discussed. I think I would know if I’d reached that kind of romantic checkpoint with my crush.”

“Well, you have as Marinette,” Alya reminded encouragingly.

Marinette deflated, head dropping to her chest as she moaned, “Yeah, after a year of acting like a complete idiot in front of him.”

Alya rolled her eyes. “He thinks you’re adorable.”

Marinette scoffed, just as Alya had anticipated she would, and looked up. “Why are you asking about Ladybug and Adrien, Alya?”

Alya shrugged, playing it off casually as she switched the cross of her legs. “So, you don’t ever use your superpowers to go visit civilians and befriend them?”

Marinette gaped at Alya as if she suspected that her friend might be going insane. “No? How irresponsible would that be? If Papillon ever found out that Ladybug visited civilians, he would target them. I would never take that risk,” she stressed.

Alya quirked an eyebrow. “And yet, didn’t you tell me the other day that Chat Noir has been coming to visit Marinette for years now?”

Marinette averted her eyes, a soft blush flooding her cheeks. “That’s different.”

“How so?” Alya chortled. “Because you like it when the guy you love comes to woo your civilian self?”

“Because he’s lonely,” Marinette answered defensively. “I can go out as Marinette pretty much whenever I want and interact with whomever I want, but it’s not like that for Chat Noir.”

Alya’s grin faltered. “It’s not?”

Marinette shook her head vehemently. “Don’t breathe a word of what I’m about to say to anyone, but he has a really restrictive homelife.”

Alya’s eyes widened in surprise, and she leaned forward. “He does?”

Marinette sighed ruefully, “His mother died a while ago, and his father has been a really controlling jerk since then. He reminds me of Adrien’s father, actually, so imagine Gabriel Agreste, but, like, three times worse.”

Alya winced in sympathy. She knew how bad Gabriel Agreste could be to Adrien. She didn’t want to imagine worse neglect and abuse than that.

“So you see why it’s a different matter entirely for Chat Noir to use his Miraculous to get out of the house and go interact with other humans,” Marinette summarized, with a decisive nod.

Alya’s lips rounded into a pensive “O” as she took stock of this information. “Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense…. So…Ladybug doesn’t have any civilian friends?”

Marinette pursed her lips. “Civilian acquaintances, yes. Chat Noir and I get ice cream sometimes with Monsieur Ramier after he gets akumatized, but I wouldn’t consider us ‘friends’. Just friendly acquaintances.”

Alya nodded, trying to assimilate the additional facts she had gained.

So far, Adrien’s story was falling through, but Alya couldn’t bring herself to throw doubt on him yet. He’d been far too adamant about being close to Ladybug, about it not being a celebrity crush because he’d been on the receiving end of that much of his life and knew how horrible it could be.

Alya couldn’t make herself believe that Adrien was just delusional. There had to be something there.

“So…keep humoring me, but has Adrien ever told you he loves you?” Alya moved on, digging deeper.

Marinette gave her a bland, unimpressed look. “You mean other than in my dreams? No, Alya. What the heck is up with all the bizarre questions?”

“The why isn’t important,” Alya insisted with authority. “Just roll with it. I’m coming up with new tactics to get you and Adrien together.”

Marinette’s eyebrows slowly came together into a “V” of confusion. “But I decided to give up on Adrien.”

“Yeah, but if you change your mind, I’ve got it covered,” Alya explained, not convincing Marinette. “So Adrien’s never confessed his love for you?”

Marinette gave a longsuffering sigh. “Only to tell me what a great friend I am and how much he treasures my friendship.”

“Be nice,” Alya chided. “Friendship is a heck of a big deal to him. All he had was Chloé for thirteen years.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Marinette grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest. “It just stings to get passively rejected like that over and over.”

“I know, Girl,” Alya cooed sympathetically. “I’m sorry. I know it’s not what you want, but try to take solace in how important being his friend makes you to him.”

“I know.” Marinette clicked her tongue in frustration. “I’m just sick of trying to make the best of things and looking on the bright side and taking the high road.”

“I get it,” Alya assured, “but I think we can still get you where you want to be.”

Marinette gave her a skeptical look. “Oh, yeah? How…if we overlook for a minute that I’m giving up on Adrien?”

“Has anyone ever confessed their love for you as Ladybug?” Alya tried a different route, trying to root out the truth.

Marinette sank petulantly in her desk chair. “Yeah, like, everyone and their dog. Ladybug is pretty universally loved.”

“No, like, seriously,” Alya clarified. “For real. Not just some crazy fan. Is there someone who actually loves Ladybug?”

Marinette almost replied automatically but then paused and considered. “I mean…if you’re asking about a civilian who loves Ladybug, then, no…but…there’s Chat Noir. I know that’s probably not what you mean, but…”

The gears in Alya’s mind caught on a snag and abruptly stopped, unable to keep turning as she came to an alarming solution that she wished she could dismiss out of hand.

She gulped, took a deep breath, and carefully inquired, “In the beginning, did you think Chat Noir was just joking when he told you he loved you?”

Marinette groaned, hiding her face in her hands. “Yeees. I know I’m the worst, but he was so over-the-top that I couldn’t take him seriously. It wasn’t until Glaciator when Chat Noir showed up on my balcony feeling all heartbroken over Ladybug that I realized that he was actually for real, and I felt awful, Alya.”

“But then you two talked and got things straightened out,” Alya added breathlessly, in a state of shock as she recalled what Adrien had told her.

“Yeah,” Marinette sighed, dropping her hands to her lap. “I still felt really bad for not returning his feelings, though, but I explained about how my heart was with someone else because I was pursuing Adrien at that point, so…”

Suddenly, things made too much sense, and Alya wished that they would stop because the solution she’d come to was just too ridiculous.

If Ladybug had been turning down Chat Noir because Marinette was in love with Adrien who was in love with Ladybug who was Marinette who loved Adrien who was Chat Noir…Alya was going to scream and pull her hair out and eat Nino’s hat or something.

Marinette jumped as Alya let out an involuntary curse. “W-What? What happened? What’s wrong?”

Alya cursed again, louder and more indignantly.

“Alya, what?” Marinette demanded. “You’re freaking me out.”

“Give me a minute,” Alya groaned, picking up the pillow on Marinette’s chaise and pressing it to her face, yelling into it.

Marinette sat staring at her best friend, utterly perplexed and not a small bit concerned.

Alya lowered the pillow about half a minute later, took a deep breath, and explained, “My life is dumb. Everything is so stupid and dumb, and my life’s work has no meaning because secret identities are infuriating.”

Marinette blinked uncomprehendingly. “Alya…are you okay?”

“No,” Alya replied calmly. “But you know what?”

“What?” Marinette played along, hoping that things would start making sense soon.

“It’s going to be okay,” Alya assured, fueled by a new sense of determination. “I’m going to fix everything, and it’s going to be fine.”

“Oh. That’s good,” Marinette replied, not so sure.

“New plan,” Alya announced, clapping her hands as she got to her feet and went over to Marinette, gently pulling the other girl up to standing and placing her hands on a very confused Marinette’s shoulders. “Step one. We need to make things right between you and Chat Noir.”

Marinette’s brow scrunched up, eyes narrowing. “Between Marinette and Chat Noir or Ladybug and Chat Noir? Because everything’s fine between us, Alya. Our partnership is great. Our friendship is great. Everything’s great. No fixing necessary.”

“Wrong,” Alya countered, pinning Marinette to the spot with an intense gaze.

Marinette saw the drive in Alya’s eyes and knew better than to argue.

“Girl, I know you told Chat Noir that there was someone else and that nothing was going to happen between you two, but your words and your actions aren’t lining up.”

Marinette’s frown deepened, shifting from confusion to apprehension. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you’ve unintentionally been leading the poor boy on for years now,” Alya explained patiently yet decidedly. “You’re really bad at hiding your feelings, Marinette. The only reason Adrien doesn’t know is because his father kept him locked up the first thirteen years of his life, so he has zero understanding of social cues. You may have told Chat Noir that nothing was going to happen, but your actions have been hinting at the fact that you have feelings for him, so he’s been stuck in this loop of you telling him no with your words but then turning around and telling him maybe with your actions.”

Marinette’s face blanched in horror as she thought of her behavior around Chat Noir. Part of her wanted to tell Alya that she was off base, but a larger part knew that what Alya was saying rang true.

She had told Chat Noir in no uncertain terms that there was someone else and that they could only be partners and friends, but…there was the platonic flirting, just to start with. It had only been platonic for a short while. After Marinette had started to reciprocate Chat’s feelings, the flirting had ceased to be in jest. She hadn’t told Chat that she was serious, but…maybe there was a part of him that could tell.

And then there was the way she was so handsy with him. It was true that friends could be physically affectionate without there having to be romantic feelings, but…the hugs and the snuggling on rooftops and the casual touches…it had meant something to her, and she knew it had meant something to him. The only thing was that he hadn’t known what she was feeling, but…what if Alya was right and he had picked up on her romantic interest in him?

What if she’d unknowingly been giving him false hope all this time? It had never been her intention to lead him on. She wanted him to find someone to love him, find someone who made him happy. What if he’d pushed pause on all of that while waiting for her?

She felt sick, thinking that she’d been keeping him waiting, keeping him trapped because she knew he would wait forever for her if she gave him the slightest sliver of hope.

It was Marinette’s turn to curse loudly.

“Yeah,” Alya sighed in agreement.

“Alya, what do I do?!” Marinette demanded, gripping her friend by the arms, beginning to freak out.

“Deep breath,” Alya coached, inhaling and exhaling slowly so that Marinette could follow along.

They repeated the process several times until Marinette had markedly calmed down.

“Okay. Now what?” Marinette urged. “How do I fix this?”

“Call him,” Alya instructed. “Right now. Transform and call him and ask him to meet, and then come clean. Tell him what you told me the other day about how you love him, but it can’t happen because of your duty to Paris and the Guardian thing and the other guy you’re in love with and all that. Be honest with him and tell him you want him to give other people in his life a chance because you want him to be happy. Encourage him to move on. Give him the closure he needs, so he’ll know once and for all that nothing is happening between you two.”

Marinette blinked owlishly. “You want me to call him right now?”

Alya nodded. “Did I stutter? ‘Right now’ means right now, so hop to it. Put your spots on, call your cat-boy, and get this sorted out.”

“Like…right now?” Marinette gulped.

Alya stepped back, crossing her arms in disapproval as she gave Marinette a look that clearly begged the question, “Seriously?”

“I’m just…not prepared,” Marinette tried to finagle. “Usually, before I try to confess my feelings to Adrien, I come up with a plan and a script, so I’m prepared. Tikki and I practice roleplaying, and I memorize my lines, and—”

“—And that never works,” Alya cut in, not taking no for an answer.

Adrien had waited long enough. It was time Ladybug let him off the hook so that he could move on and be happy with Marinette.

Marinette’s shoulders rose up to meet her ears as she grumbled, “You never know. It might one of these days.”

“Tikki,” Alya called out for backup, “could you please tell her to get her butt in gear already? She’s stalling.”

“Tikki,” Marinette whined, “Alya’s being brutally honest, and I don’t like it.”

The kwami gave a soft, affectionate sigh as she flew down from her perch and nuzzled Marinette’s cheek. “I know you don’t think you’re ready, Marinette, but, if you wait until you do feel ready, you may never tell him how you feel at all. Maybe extemporaneous speaking would be good for you,” she encouraged, ever the optimist and cheerleader.

Marinette looked almost persuaded, but a hint of doubt remained, pinched between her eyebrows.

“After all,” Tikki continued, “do you really want to keep Chat Noir dangling in the dark for any longer than you already have? It has been six years since you realized you had feelings for him, Marinette. I think it would be best to tell him sooner rather than later.”

“Oh, all right,” Marinette sighed, sinking back down into her desk chair. “You two win. I’ll call him and figure out what to tell him on the fly. Tikki, transform me.”

[neerasrealm]

The Arrangement

Part Two to this story

In which the mysterious gold-stringed figure finally reveals their intentions, and their identity. Words: 1664

The hotel was comfy. It felt nice, being in a room that was meant for more than a one night stay. Every cheap motel room started to look the same after a while. She rummaged through her old green backpack for a bit until she found her bong and box of matches. She stood up off the ground and walked over to one of the two chairs in the room. The chair was fairly comfy. Fancy too, with a flowery pattern. She sat cross legged and filled the bong up with weed and water before lighting it up. She leaned down, taking a long drag of the smoke. She relaxed at the familiar warmth and finally looked at the person sitting in the chair across from her. 

Could she even call them a person? Their skin was a pale purple, and they had long black hair. They wore a grey beanie and sweatshirt, long black coat, jeans and sneakers. A very casual outfit for a creature that stalked girls in alleyways and had golden glowing eyes and teeth. They were fiddling with the ends of their fingerless gloves, watching her smoke. She sighed and relaxed back in the chair.

‘’...you’re still waiting for me to answer your question, aren’tcha?’’ she asked tiredly. They nodded. She really, really didn’t want to give her answer right now. She just wanted to smoke, and if she gave her no, the gold-eyed fucker wouldn’t stop bothering her. ‘’How about you gimme more details first, huh?’’ That oughta keep em occupied long enough for her to finish. Or at the very least, get a decent high that she very much deserved.

‘’Well, Mrs Downs-’’

‘’Just call me Rachel.’’ she grunted.

They gave a slight nod. ‘’Well, Rachel…’’ they began. ‘’You probably already know what I want. To hire you as a murderer.’’ they began. ‘’You show promise. It’s uncommon for humans to possess psychic abilities like yours, and you have experience with killing...’’ they looked at her. ‘’It’s my hope that I can assist you in honing these abilities. You’re strong, but you could learn much, much more.’’

‘’Lil rude but okay.’’ Rachel grunted. ‘’How ya gonna do that?’’

They smiled a bit in amusement. ‘’I apologise.’’ they said. ‘’I have a friend. His father was a teacher. He can help you hone your abilities, once he notices them.’’ they explained. ‘’He has a home, hidden away from humans. You won’t have to worry about the police finding you. It’s comfortable there too, you’ll like it.’’

‘‘Better be the fanciest place I’ve ever seen.’’ Rachel thought to herself. "Who's your friend then?" 

"His name is Slender," they folded their hands in their lap. "He's very old, but wise. Kind too. You'll be safe with him…" they trailed off. "I know his family well. He is trustworthy."

She nodded. "Where's he live?"

"Louisiana."

"Louisiana?!" She almost choked on her weed. "That's like- across the entire country!" 

"Is it?" They tilted their head for a moment. "Geography never was my thing...Writer was good at that…" they trailed off for a moment before returning to the conversation. "Anyway...I know him well. He'll help you."

Rachel glared at them for a moment before sighing. You'd think she'd be freaking out more, but honestly…? This wasn't the first time a poltergeist or demon or some other shit had cornered her and tried to make a deal. This one was different though. More corporeal, more...real. and very well spoken. "Aight well...why do you want me to kill in the first place?" 

They paused, staring at her for a long moment before sighing. They relaxed back in the chair and stared down at the ground for a long, silent moment. Rachel looked up from her bong and frowned. They...seemed upset by the question. Which was very awkward. She held out her bong. "Wanna hit?" She asked, trying to cheer up the sad supernatural entity sitting across from her. They looked up for a moment before shaking their head.

"I don't smoke," they replied softly. "But thank you." 

"Aight." She took the bong back and took another hit. It was quiet for another few beats before they sat up.

"I suppose it is fair I warn you about this job…" they murmured. She looked up at them. "You see...I kill myself. Dozens of people, every week…" their voice was low, soft. "My targets are all people who have been affected by the same thing. A man named...Zalgo." they ran their hand down their arm as they said the name, golden strings leaving a trail down it. "He's...power hungry. Cruel, manipulative. He has a way of charming people. And once he charms people...there's no saving them." They shook their head. "He claims souls, or in some cases...takes humans and...morphs them. Steals their humanity away and makes them monsters. But as of late, the amount of people he targets has been increasing. I need help." 

Rachel stared. "He sounds dangerous." She murmured.

"He is," they nodded. "He's extremely powerful. He's...a god. Like I am." 

Rachel's eyes widened. "What?" she asked "You're- you're taking the piss here, right?" She gave them a bemused look. A god? No, no they couldn't-

"I'm not." They replied softly. "Both of us are gods. I was- am...the god of design. I weave the strings of life and design every single creature on earth. Or at least...I used to…"

Rachel stared, mouth agape. She snapped back to reality and cleared her throat. "What-" she hesitated. "What happened?"

They looked up at her. "...Zal'gatoth happened." They murmured. "That's his full name. Zalgo is...a nickname he's taken on as a new identity. I-I don't know- I don't know what's happened to him...what's gotten into him. He's not the same person I knew he-" their voice cracked as they spoke. "He was my son…"

Rachel stared as shiny gold tears poured from their eyes. They wiped at their face as they cried silently. She looked away, feeling like watching was disrespectful somehow.

Finally, they spoke again. "I don't know what's happened to him but- there isn't anything I can do except save the ones he corrupts…"

Rachel nodded, glancing away. She felt bad- touching a nerve like that. "So...how dangerous is this gonna be?" She asked lowly.

"Very. I won't pretend, this is a safe or easy job," they murmured. "Zalgo is extremely powerful and volatile, and his...minions, are brutal. Stronger than a human should be, and sadistic in nature." They explained. "You'll be risking your life doing all of this, which is why I understand if you say no but...I want you to know that by doing this work, dirty as it is...you're helping others." 

"How?" She tilted her head. Her voice was low, like she was actually considering it. 

They reached into their long black coat and pulled out what looked like...a doll. Or rather, a puppet. "This was a person once," they said softly. "A person Zalgo corrupted. They were doomed. As soon as they were killed, their soul would be yanked down to his realm to reside with him forever." Golden strings wrapped around the puppet, making it stand on their lap. "But...instead, I captured that soul, and put it into this vessel. In this form they are dormant. They have no idea they're a puppet, instead they are reliving their life, over and over, on a loop, inside their head. It's not the best but...it's pleasant enough. And they don't remember Zalgo. Or me."

Rachel nodded. ‘’So...am I gonna do that too? The soul thing?’’

They nodded. ‘’Yes. You’ll learn to trap souls, and make your own puppets. I can’t always supply them.’’ 

Oh great...she had to sew. Of course she knew how to do that, it was a skill you’d need when you were travelling on the road alone, but still. She didn’t particularly enjoy it.

‘’So will you consider it?’’ they asked. Her head snapped up. Consider it-? She’d- she’d...actually been doing that hadn’t she? Considering the job…

‘’When can I start?’’ she asked. They smiled a bit, golden teeth glowing.

‘’I can have you in Slender’s house by tomorrow. But you’ll be given plenty of time to settle and train before you begin your official work.’’ they replied. They reached into their robe and pulled out the knife they’d used before. Golden strings floated from their fingertips, curling around and forming a circle. They cut the string and smoothed down the loose edge. The strings solidified, turning into a gold ring. ‘’But...there are two rules you need to promise me you can follow.’’

‘’What are they?’’ Rachel tilted her head.

‘’You only kill targets I give you,’’ they said. ‘’And you do not tell Slender or anyone else about me. My presence will attract Zalgo’s attention...it’d be putting you and Slender’s family at risk. I’ve...they’ve already lost their sister. I don’t want that happening again…’’ they looked away, their voice lowering at the mention of the sister.

She nodded. ‘’Won’t say a word. Promise.’’ she said. They stood up, padding over to her. They were extremely tall, and a little intimidating, but they were like a gentle giant almost. They knelt down, holding out the ring. 

‘’By taking this you agree to the dangers of fighting against Zalgo and assisting me. You accept the risk to your life, and vow to help those targeted by Zalgo.’’ their voice was soft, gentle. ‘’Do you accept?’’

She stared at the ring for a long moment before reaching out and taking it. She looked up at them. ‘’I’ve been following orders from a ghost my whole life, and it’s all been for revenge. I’ve only ever hurt people…’’ she looked down and slipped the ring onto her middle finger. ‘’...I think it’ll be nice to help for a change.’’ she said with a smile.

(Part Three here)

[ask-the-riders]

Human AU where the riders don't know each other yet, and they have no idea what their roles are

Death is this super lanky goth guy that's always alone, looking like he lives off of coffee. He's got a younger brother who's dark and goth-ish looking, but somehow at the same time, is a ray of sunshine, and Famine's this really tall dude that's also a loner. He's been raising his younger brothers on his own, and while he's super intimidating outside of his home/family life, as soon as he gets home from work, he immediately switches into a more casual outfit and has this big, dorky grin on his face. When his little brothers get home, he dotes on them and helps with homework, and then he works with them, teaching them how to cook and do certain chores

Pestilence is the troublemaker kinda dude. He almost never gets his work done on time, he always seems to have a bunch of junk food on him, and he probably sits in the dark at home alone, playing videogames every moment of every day. War ends up being transferred to the same class/job as him, purely by coincidence. She has a short fuse and tries focusing entirely on her studies or work, since it's important to her. She has a best friend, Betta, but that's all she's got going as far as a social circle/group goes, and while the two seem to be polar opposites, they're almost always together

War happens to catch Pestilence's eye one day, so he starts trying to get her attention. She acts completely put off and annoyed, almost like she already hates him or something, so in an effort to get to know more about her, he talks to Betta. Betta tells him about some stuff she likes, and as it turns out,, she's a giant nerd who's into space, knitting/crocheting/sewing, watching soap operas, anime/manga, and videogames. He's over the moon excited to hear that they both like videogames, and he finds himself heading to a nearby gamestop. He buys her a game that Betta had mentioned, having learned that it's one she'd been wanting for a while, but at the last moment, he chickens out and can't give it to her directly. He tapes a note to the case and sneaks it into her bag while she's out of the room for a moment, and when she comes back and find it, he sees her entire face light up in excitement

He starts leaving notes and occasionally gets things for her, all while trying to remain anonymous. He asks her on a date to the upcoming anime/videogame convention, taping a ticket/pass to the note, and she immediately accepts the offer. They didn't talk about if they'd do any sort of cosplaying at all, and they hadn't even talked about the general subject very much. She decides to cosplay some character from an anime she really likes a lot, because she's excited and doesn't wanna miss the chance. Pestilence ends up cosplaying too, because he really wants to impress her

When they both get to the convention and arrive at the meetup spot they'd agreed on, they see that (again, purely by chance) they both had decided to cosplay characters from the same show. As if that wasn't enough on its own, the characters they dressed as even ended up being a couple later on in that particular series

Toward the end of their date, they find Death there, walking around dressed as the grim reaper (appropriately enough). And then Famine, the guy that had a pretty bad reputation that most people chose to stay away from, walks by with his two younger brothers. He himself isn't dressed up, but his brothers are, and he's got this big smile on his face because his brothers are having a great time

They all end up talking when one of Famine's brothers recognizes who War and Pestilence are cosplaying and approaches them, wanting to get a picture or something. It's Pest who, a little bit later, approaches Death to say he likes the outfit he's wearing, and that the scythe is especially cool. A connection is sparked there, and the two become friends. Meanwhile with War, she's somehow befriended Famine, and all she did was help keep his brothers entertained for a tiny bit so they wouldn't run off

And then at the end of it, Retribution's arriving as they're leaving. He's dressed in something almost regal, a crown/tiara included, but dark and vaguely intimidating at the same time