#It's also worth noting he's the kind of mechanic where you come in because a part in your engine broke and he's like

[shitpostingkats]

Listen. Listen.

Yusei says himself that getting the Momentum system up and fully realized is for his parents, not for him. And, now that their work has come to fruition, he's stepping away from the project and wondering what to do next. And we know from the flash-forward that he hasn't made a dueling appearance in quite a few years, so it's not like he stopped working at MIDS to focus on fame and glory. Presumably, he doesn't come out of card game retirement unless he wants to, or thinks it will be fun.

He hung up his labcoat and the next thing we see him doing is hosting a backyard barbecue. He wants to have a small and quiet life. Just let him fiddle with his machines and grommets, and he'll be happy.

It also sets up the comedy scene where one day someones car is making a funny noise, so they go into their local mechanic's shop, you know, one of those little mom and pop joints, the owner's sweet, he's reliable. And as he's examining under the hood, the lights in the garage flicker, and he just kind of mutters "Oh yeah, they're probably running maintenance on block B1-17."

"Oh? You know a lot about the city's energy infrastructure?"

A pause.

"I built it."

So I know the general consensus is that, post-series, Yusei continues to work at MIDS, and I like that idea too -- he's certainly smart enough, after all -- but also. I like the idea of him just wanting A Very Quiet Life after everything and going back to being a mechanic. Like, MIDS is obviously a good use of his skills and all, but also he's just a dude who likes to work with this hands and MIDS wouldn't really be that. (Of course MIDS would call him every time something breaks and he would go fix it, but he's not someone who likes being in the spotlight and he would vastly prefer it if they'd just leave him alone.)

Anyway, this post isn't really going anywhere other than to say that Mechanic!Yusei lives rent-free in my head.

[morkanslily]

(I.) In the End You are a Shell, and Nothing More.

summary: Two little dolls who lack a heart. While the first believed it was only he out of you two who lacked it in the metaphorical and literal sense, he came to learn that so too, did you.

notes: puppet!reader & scaramouche, where reader dies. In this, the Balladeer harbinger rank actually has two lords, with Scaramouche facing as its face, and you being considered in equal ownership of the role. Basically 2 lords in one

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

He truly did love you.

And oh, how he wished he didn’t.

Prior to this disaster, the herald of indignation was performing his required duties as harbinger. Tasks that were nothing more than mere inconveniences that only served to pull you further away from his grip. Excruciatingly long visits to lands beyond Snezhnaya, such as the country of Freedom and that of Contracts. And even then, these nations felt just as bitterly empty and cold as the former was without your presence. It anguished him to no end, how he agonizingly longed for you by his side. Not only because he yearned to see the way how your lips would curve humorously when your eyes caught his, but also how he found such desires childish—and maybe even embarrassing to an extent. He was a poet of ire, and you, his beloved, were his muse of recourse. After all, he is The Balladeer, is he not? In his long and miserable existence, he had sought solace amongst humans when the gods had forsaken him. But for every time he chose to, it would come back to bite him. What did he even expect, being so naive? Offering your hand to vicious and cruel beasts will only leave you without it.

 Nevertheless, you are an exception it seems. Exceptions… Ah, quite a rare occurrence indeed. For gods see no worth in him and neither does he sing their praises, and humans are too far beneath him to matter. In this perpetual purgatory of living, never once had he expected to come across you. You, yes, you, bear the same mark of mechanical existence as he. Destined to live an outlier amidst gods and men, you are the only being blessed with sentience who he deems his equal—his other half.

It always mystified Scaramouche how even the knowledge alone that you are indeed of his kind brought him reassurance for the eternity he had yet to spend with you. He would never admit it of course, but deep within the confines of his soul, he is elated to bask in your familiar presence and his thoughts of you. Just as a sunflower(despite him being the farthest man possible from said plant)will always bend towards the sun for dear life. To know that there is someone in this world whose touch is as cold and devoid of warmth as his, sends him into repose--where for just a brief moment, he is allowed to forget the veil of his burdens that trail behind. If the people of this world have turned their backs on him, at the very least, he has you.

And even then, you…

…

“God, why me…” the Fatuus underling muttered under his breath.

He tried, oh how he tried his best to not tremble as he treaded anxiously towards his superior. Genuflecting, it took all of his willpower and dried up hopes to not mistakenly stumble and humiliate himself. He would much rather endure the violent winter of his homeland than have to accomplish this task. But can you blame him, really? Nobody, and no one has ever wanted to face the ordeal that is Lord Scaramouche. Especially not this guy, with the message he was ordered to deliver. He couldn’t shake off the memory of those sympathetic looks and shaking heads behind him as he departed. Practically everyone agreed that this mission bestowed unto him was a death sentence. And what was that mission, exactly?

The harbinger donned a scornful look of malevolence as his impatient eyes scrutinized the poor fellow. His head was raised, perhaps to further incise the fact that he was echelons above. The subordinate knelt before him, preparing to deliver the news. The messenger shrank under his senior’s watch, with an unshakeable spine-chilling cold running through him. Though he dared not to gaze back, he felt the crushing weight of irritation scanning him, unpredictable and utterly terrifying. He shuddered to think that if he just so happened to breath, this behemoth of inhumanity could erase him from existence with a snap of a finger.

“Speak.” The Balladeer demanded, narrowing his eyes in anticipation. 

“Yes, my lord.” the subordinate replied. He cleared his throat, and carried on. “Er, one of our m-main base camps in Snezhnaya—specifically one that you direct has… formally requested for your immediate return. They ask that y-you may personally provide assistance."

“...And what for?” the harbinger scoffed. “Are the fools that I specifically assigned to do their own jobs that worthless?” he crossed his arms, clearly exasperated by such an outrageous demand. “Hmph, the audacity to bother me with such menial affairs. I almost feel insulted by their ineffectiveness alone.” The lord fell silent for a moment, which sent the subordinate into panic. What more did his superior want? Was he contemplating, or purposely engraving anxiety onto his soul to taunt him? He cringed, awaiting what would entail from this deathly silence.

The Balladeer turned his back on him, striding ahead, then coming to a halt. All that was left was a silhouette cloaked by darkness in the dead of night, as his diaphanous veil served to shadow his figure further. All the minion could see was the giant kanji on its back, echoing the words in his mind. 悪. Evil.

What a savage man he is, the underling thought. His future would be on the line, very soon. If he wanted to live, he would need to successfully get ahold of his own strings in this puppet show of life and death—and choose his next words wisely. As the sixth slightly turned his head, his veil followed, swaying in the breeze, slow and elegant such as the pirouette of a ballerina. Above all else, the most accurate way one may describe him would be an angel of death. Sent straight from the thunders of heaven, to forever damn and blight Teyvat. The subordinate gulped, and braced himself for the punishment to come.

“You aren’t stupid enough to have traveled all this way to waste my time, are you?"

“No sir. Actually, the camp that called for your backup was ravaged and left in ruin by a currently unidentified criminal. Most of the survivors were successfully evacuated, but the location remains unsafe.” He held his breath. “I’m afraid that… the 'other half’, was last seen there, and went missing.“

Silence, again. The Balladeer turned to face him, the wind coming to a startling halt. In that very moment, the world felt as though it was in stasis. Stasis that hid the imploding pressure underneath the surface.

“What did you just say?”

“The situation is urgent. So far we have not been able to find the ‘other’ Lord Balladeer, due to complications. I will elaborate further, but as of now I advise that you may depart as soon as possible.” the Fatuus finished. The overlord lowered his head, his wide brimmed hat concealing his expression.

“Hmph. Is that so?

“Uh...yes my lord?"

“Oh, but when did you have the authority,” he raised his head, revealing a wry expression. “...to make demands of me as well?” he sneered, looking back at the subordinate.

Shit.

“No, I..."

A bolt of lightning immediately vaporized the ground nearby, almost missing him. The impact left a painful singe on his side, with parts of his garments chipped and burnt off. He clutched his side in pain, fully collapsing to his knees. His ears rang painfully, and his vision blurred as he coughed on the ground. Fire bloomed in the grass, the embers alive and sizzling. Lord Scaramouche’s finger was still smoking, an expression of pure wrath plastered upon his face. His eyes wide, crackled and seethed with anger. Even the wind picked up, furiously blowing at his hair and garments.

“You humans are always so dreadfully annoying.” He muttered, gritting his teeth whilst smoke seeped between. His words were lacquered with acrimony. The harbinger strode forth with celerity, trampling weeds in his wake. “Useless.” he rubbed his hands together to stop the smoke. “Inefficient.” He shook his head. “Ugly, worthless specks of dust.” In his eyes, humans were no more than unsightly weeds that spread too fast and too far in the garden to be plucked. The only situation? To burn it all together. He looked down on the recuperating man, and grabbed him by the collar. “You vile vermin fail to do the one thing you are asked, and still have the impertinence to come back crawling to me for help? Tsk, how amusing.” When the Balladeer raised his other hand to strike once more, the pest scrambled to make his final move.

“ W-wait, my lord-"

Only then did the subordinate truly learn, that sinners never gain redemption in the eyes of gods and angels alike.

@mhiieee @rainxiaower ⭐️

[browniefox]

The Very Best Fics - 2

I am making a second 'best fics according to me' because it is very long. You can access the previous post from here.

On this list is: Daredevil, Disco Elysium, Trigun, Psych, Mob Psycho 100, Undertale, Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy VII

Daredevil

My Guardian Avengers (Can I Get A Refund?) - prettybirdy979

Daredevil needs to protect a certain law firm in Hell's Kitchen. He's a little slack about protecting this Matt Murdock fellow though, and the Avengers are only too happy to step in to help. Matt is SO not okay with this. (Shut up Foggy, so what if it's his own fault!)

Prettybirdy979 has done 'Daredevil meets the Avengers' like ten times, and you know what? they hit it out of the park every time. Hell yeah! This one is just as fun, and it's always nice to read a new (uh, new-ish) fic from an author you love :D

Disco Elysium

Excerpts from the Case Notes of Kim Kitsuragi - Hosekisama

Excerpts reference Lieutenant Double-Yefreitor Du Bois' belief that he can (and does) "reload" his own life after failing, like some kind of video game character.

Disco Elysium plays with so many fun video game mechanics, like the 'jamrock shuffle', so honestly the idea that Harry would think in terms of 'reloading' is way fun! I love the ambiguity of whether or not there actually are saves or loads.

Trigun

Start here - AsterAspera ( @aster-aspera )

The first time he wakes, he is in a room. Heavy curtains hang over dusty windowsills and there are crumpled sheets on the bed and crumpled sheets on the floor. The world is quiet while his body screams. Every soft, fleshy, vulnerable part of him is on fire, writhing and roiling in unbearable agony. He wants to move, get away from the mattress that digs into his skin like fingers, like knives, like roots, but his body is frozen without his consent, time stretching endlessly around him as he fights an ocean of pain. And suddenly there are hands on him and worried grey eyes and he wants to scream but his throat is already scraped raw.

We love QPR Vash/Meryl/Wolfwood, and we love stories that drop you into something and you have no idea what's going on. Such a good and interesting fic that drops ideas of what has happened, but also you're not totally sure, and it really puts you into Vash's head for the fic.

I Just Want To Slow Dance With You by easternCriminal

"Wolfwood swears at the radio, and then finally the static parts like the sands after a storm and the warm, slow sounds of a guitar comes out from over the dunes and fills the small room." oOo A soft domestic moment, inspired by Start Here by AsterAspera

Inspired by the fic above, a scene between Meryl and Nicholas (and Vash) as they try and figure out what their dynamic is now. Wonderfully domestic.

Rinse and Repeat by easternCriminal (@the-east-art)

Somehow, Meryl can head the monotone flatline of his heart. And she wakes up again on the road. Meryl starts to realize what is going on.

Time loop, time loop, time loop! Time loops where you're trying so despeartelyl to save someone! Time loops where you start realizing some sacrifices have to be made! Time loops that make you hate and love someone like you never have before!

Press my Corpse against the Wall by Rayawastaken

Meryl kept thinking back to Tonis, small and still so young in his mothers arms. She kept thinking about the fact that if she held onto him a bit stronger, if she had more conviction, he might still have both of his arms. And about how if she had any less of it, Wolfwood might have not woken back up again in that bar. Surely, getting a bit scratched up was worth saving someone’s life. But that’s not how Wolfwood saw it. To him, she’d forever be just some defenseless little thing that stumbled around helplessly and had to be protected. And for all that he complained about Vash having a self-sacrificial streak, he'd rather bleed out on the floor than admit he had needed help. - Wolfwood almost dies, Meryl saves him and gets hurt in the process. They have a fight about it.

I love Mashwood, but the dynamic between Wolfwood and Meryl is often under represented. I especially love this fic's exploration of the fact that Meryl, of the trio, is the most human and the position that puts her in a lot of the time.

CHANGING NATURE (‘TIS THE SEASON) by ainosyn (@tristamp-gunpede)

“How could anyone kill you without killing a part of themselves?” and “I can’t help it, it’s my nature.”

An exploration of all the different ways the story of Trigun could have gone, or could have been told, and about what is inherent to someone's nature. I love this, such a great character study of Knives and Vash.

Never understood a single word he said by aboxthecolourofheartache (@aboxthecolourofheartache)

Meryl drums her fingers on the steering wheel, and Wolfwood gets the sinking feeling of spotting bullshit at a hundred yarz and being unable to do anything about it. “Is it really buried treasure? I don’t believe you,” Meryl sniffs. “You’re stalling or something.” Vash’s lips curl up at the corner and, yes, there’s that mischievous little dimple that heralds doom. “Only one way to find out. If it is buried treasure, next night at a motel is on me. What do you say?" “Hot showers and everything?” Meryl squints at Vash sidelong, she the very picture of suspicion and he of innocence. “Cross my heart,” Vash vows, making a solemn X over his chest. ~~~ A detour turned nightmare, water from the rock, Three Dog Night, and unconventional gestures of trust.

MUST READ MUST READ MUST READ!!!! Best Trigun Fic I think I've ever read, with perfect characterization of Meryl, Vash, and Wolfwood that all feel distinct and accurate, a lot of fun interactions, and just a hint of the good good 'Vash isn't human' stuff I live for.

Psych

All We Are by jumpfall

"I want eyes on Spencer ten minutes ago!" Shawn thinks that maybe another hostage situation is just what they need to bring the team together again.

Love when you find a fic that captures the vibes of the canon so well! The team-as-family in psych is so good and fun, it's what makes it all worthwhile, you know? The characters in Psych are really good, and I'll be honest I live for the times that Shawn manages to actually be selfless and care about others.

the robbed that smiles steals something from the thief by EclipseWing (@shadow-of-the-eclipse)

That one in which Shawn is a con-artist, a liar and a thief.

Hell yeah, EclipseWing, all my homies love EclipseWing! This one is so fun! It's nice to see a Shawn who doesn't get into crime solving but still needs to find something to preoccupy him becoming a theif instead, it's so in person I love it!

Mob Psycho 100

Come Morning Light by NotHereForIt

Reigen is standing in a world that exists, but doesn't, in front of a house that is Mob's, but not, with a man that's dead, but isn't. In which Reigen thinks he's dreaming, and he very much is not.

Dream walking time, hell yeah! In which Reigen helps Mob through is dreams. Poor Mob has PTSD, but at least he's not alone.

knife trick by ruthwrites (@ruemilley)

There wasn’t a rule, exactly, that said that Ritsu wasn’t allowed to spend time with his brother. It was just something that was understood, like how Ritsu understood he wasn't supposed to press his hands along the sharp edges of his mother’s kitchen knives. (or: an age swap where only Mob and Reigen's ages are changed. Shigeo asks his little brother if he wants to walk him home after school. Ritsu should say no. Ritsu does not say no.)

The ending of this one sticks with me, ugh it's so good. Swap au's are so interesting, and I love the way it's done here, especially with Mob and Reigen being swapped, but Ritsu still being the same age.

citrus by orphan_account

He can just barely see Reigen pacing, purposefully quiet. He’s not smiling or laughing like he usually does on the phone. He looks sad. No, he looks upset. Shigeo doesn’t get a chance to wonder why before Reigen is walking back out, eyes carefully trained on his phone before he flips it shut. “Mob, we have a client to go to. I would have taken you home, but your parents aren’t there.” “Why would I have to go home?” Reigen goes quiet for a moment. “We aren’t dealing with a spirit.”

Reigen getting to deal with big problems through his job, and baby Mob learning important life lessons, what more do you need?

I know who I am when I'm alone by RedWritingHood

I'm something else when I see you. The world revolves around the suffering of Kageyama Shigeo. It fails to anticipate the determination of the Greatest Psychic Detective of the 21st Century.

In which Reigen is in Mogamiland and is as stubborn as a mule - even if he doesn't know what he's fighting against or for. A great moment of Reigen being able to comfort Mob - more or less. There are struggles that come with trying to accomplish that.

Undertale

Second Contact by Ononymous

To the participants, monumental days in history rarely feel very monumental when they wake up that morning. A young man at his summer job in the middle of nowhere was about to learn this the hard way.

I love this fic, of Asogre and Frisk meeting the first human outside of the Underground, told from outsider pov. It's a fun continuation of the story, and of how a poor service employee has to be the one to deal with the mess first.

What Little Monsters Are Made Of by Mangaluva

Nobody understands why you keep Flowey. You're not always sure why you do. But you found a way to save everybody else.

A story about love, and a story about believing in someone or something, and about how it's never too late. Post-Game, exploration of the relationship that builds between Flowey, Frisk, and the rest of the monsters over the years.

Kingdom Hearts

Scar Tissue - mimiplaysgames

Terra doesn’t remember certain things. He’s not in control. Even after everything they have been through, he still has the Guardian to contend with.

A little confusing to read sometimes, but super interesting look into after effects of having one's heart stuck in various places, and how it impact Terra without him even knowing it. At the end of the day, Terra is a guardian.

Umbra, Penumbra - end_alls

Roleswap where Vanitas is the one raised with care and compassion in the Land of Departure, and Ventus… is not

A fun and interesting role reversal. In general, the concept of 'too much light' is not explored enough in Kingdom hearts, so a fic that goes into how Ventus is left so incomplete without Vanitas is great.

Affecting Eternity - b-na_hime

One new Keyblade Master. Two new Keyblade wielders. Three thousand ways it could go horribly wrong…

Riku trying so hard to train Lea and Kairi when he's never been formally trained either. Great relationship building between them and how each of them feels about being a keyblade wielder.

reflections, refracted. - vvingblade (@vvingblade)

It's been ten years since then. Time has passed, and wounds are slowly healing. Ven thought he'd moved on, that the memories no longer bother him. All it takes is a single muddled spell to prove him wrong.

Ven has some serious PTSD and it rears its ugly head. Also, Ven can kick ass when he believes his life depends on it. Great Ven characterization that fleshes out Ven a bit more than he usually is.

Final Fantasy VII

The Fifth Act by Sinnatious

Cloud has an accident with a Time materia, and finds himself in the middle of the Wastes at the start of the Wutai War. There are people to save… and for that, there are three people who need to die.

My favorite time-travel fix-it for FFVII I've found so far. Good characterization, fun interactions, and I love how much it grapples with the question of 'should Sephiroth die, when he hasn't done anything'.

A Feather's Edge by Boomchick

Rescue arrives for Sephiroth while he is still a child. It arrives in the form of a blank-faced blonde-haired hero who cannot look at him; Who tends his wounds, and speaks kindly, but whose eyes are filled with hate and fear. If only Sephiroth knew the rules of this world outside the labs, maybe he could figure out how to stop making Cloud so angry...

An interesting look into, even if Sephiroth was saved, how messed up he is since childhood and how that impacts how he views people, sitautions, and relationships with other people. Kinda wish it was a little longer, but also I think it ends where it needs to end, if that makes sense. Really love Cloud trying to grapple with being a good adult for a child while battling his PTSD over said child.

In the Woods, Somewhere - DoveFanworks

On an ordinary day, two against one would hardly feel fair. But today was not an ordinary day, and Gods damn if this man wasn’t proving to be worth every bit of their combined effort. It was ludicrous. Unheard of. Before today, he would have thought it impossible. But somehow, someway, this man, this stranger who had come from out of nowhere, was fighting off two of the most powerful fighters in the world. At the same time.

Unresolved Time Travel au where Cloud takes on the three Firsts and kicks ass! I love how thought out the fight scenes are, taking into account the abilites of everyone involved and what they're capable of. Wonderfully orchestrated, wonderful to read.

Rebound - emrald_writes

Genesis knows the moment that they step into the little town that whatever it is plaguing them it isn’t a curse.

I Love fics that have surprisingly in depth worlds that makes you feel like you're looking into a world so much bigger and more thought out than you expected. Such an interesting magic system and a fun mystery to boot. I will say, the ending feels a little strange, but the rest most than makes up for it.

As They Bask in the Material World - Traxits

Every year, Reeve tours the outer reactors. This year, Veld is unable to escort him, so Tseng gets the job. It's just his luck that the car breaks down, and perhaps the best idea was not to spend the night in Cosmo Canyon…

Hi welcome to the beginning of the 'brownie falls in love with reeve' section of this. Anyway, great and interesting relationship between Reeve and Tseng, and EXTREMELY cool take on how young Reeve would react to Cosmo Canyon.

Before She Hangs Her Head to Cry - Traxits

Reeve had been reasonably certain that no one was in his office. It seemed like a logical assumption to make, given that he was not there and that no one short of the President had a key. One day, he would learn to stop assuming anything when he counted the Turks among his friends.

Not enough people talk about Reeve and kidnapping Marlene! Love the backstory that is hinted at for Reno here, getting to see Reeve's thoughts and such, and how Marlene's upbringing shows up throughout her actions. The characterization is just, *mwah*, beautiful.

Little Birds by katineto

Marlene's Papa is gone, and she is scared—or, the kidnapping, from Marlene's perspective.

Reeve is terrible with children. I love seeing Marlene's POV in the whole mess, trying to make sense of what is going on and feeling so scared.

Through Another's Eyes by CorsairOriginal

Elmyra Gainsborough had only wanted to live a life in peace, but war keeps coming to her door. She had only wanted her arrangement with Marlene Wallace to be temporary, but now that she's a part of Elmyra's life she has to face the consequences of that decision. Director Reeve Tuesti didn't choose to become a spy, but orders from President Rufus Shinra are not to be refused. He didn't choose to admire a group of renegades, but now that they're a part of his life he can't walk away so easily. ~ "Through Another's Eyes" is an in-depth view of the major notes of Reeve's story in Final Fantasy VII, starting from Marlene's abduction by Shinra to the end of the original game--rewriting some concepts and adding elements from the Compilation of FF7, including Before Crisis and FFVII Remake.

THE PINNACLE OF REEVE FICS. So so so good! Great relationship of Reeve with everybody, and how he deals with the events of FFVII. The moment at the end when he finally meets everyone? FUCK YEAH, that's what it's all about baby! Fic that got me hooked on the inspire!Reeve characterization.

I'm Fine - WinterEvenings

“Cloud!” His eyes snap open, but it doesn’t do much good. All he can see is darkness anyway. They were trapped. It was his fault. It was all his fault.

Cloud is so fucked up as far as priorities and his own health is concerned. it's terrible and wonderful at the same time. Gotta love a good dose of whump.

[urmumsstuff]

Other dynamics reader has because I love all the things

Trip:

She treats Tripataka like a little brother. And will bully him but refuse to allow others to do the same. She's protective over him and wants him to compete his journey supporting him the best she can and running interference when she can. But only after the toll of her calling him baldy or drama queen has been settled.

Pigsy:

Pigsy is that gross weird cousin that you hate to admit you are related too. She has threatened him with a stick. More then once. He lost interest in her after she said a string of curses so loud and vulgar he was permanently put off but it started "this is why your single" jokes between them

He stubs his foot? "This is why your single"

She smacks her head into door frame? "This is why your single"

Sandy:

Sandy is that sweet cousin who at first your like omg they fucked up actually. He gets to hear the most about dead people from her. Unfortunately. But she does share a love for swimming with him and asks about maneuvering through water with heavy currents safely. She teaches him how to box/kick box.

Dragon horse:

Little brother but that little brother who everyone loves and doesn't really get bullied because his siblings pity his existence. He bites. She tells him that if he bites her, she will give him treats like he's a real horse, not a shape shifted dragon prince running an errand.

Wukong:

Oh boy this is where things get complicated and why I often just say what ever they have. I should note this wukong is not a yandere he's if anything psychotic with obsession issue's. There is a fondness between him and reader both having an understanding and both coming from large family's they care deeply for. Both are social as hell and seek each other out. However they aren't healthy it's a coping mechanism.

He doesn't like she can see through his bull shit when he spots it. More often then not how ever she can somewhat reason with him coming from an angle of hey stop and think is the head ache spell worth the trouble? No then leave it be unless it's an active threat to the monk.

Both also respect the others intellectual minds. Both different facets but never the less Both are highly smart and he has asked why she wastes her mind fighting if she doesn't have to leading down an amazing discussion.

Both find each other attractive in different ways and different views. He sees her as a one of a kind thing that the celestials are too stupid to use properly. And reader is a hopeless romantic with a brain.

In short its complicated but it's not.

He does want to have her as his wife but more as a fuck you to the gods in a fucked up way. After all its their fault she's there and it'd their fault they put her in his path.

[evelhak]

Hi ! For the character ask game, could you do 1, 7, 10, 15 and 18 for Kise ?

Hi ~~It's so funny that you sent this the exact moment I was writing my fic and Kuroko was just about to answer a phone call from Kise, thinking that he had been too harsh on him about something. (It's funny because Kise hadn't appeared in several chapters.)

Why do you like or dislike this character?

I have a soft spot for Kise, for sure. It's initially because he resembles the type of person I have a soft spot for in real life. Basically it's people who can just show up, act exactly as annoying and self-centred as they please, and yet, a lot of people just can't help but like them (some obviously and some reluctantly). First of all, because they are so pretty and charming, and second of all, because it's like they don't know better, so you feel compelled to forgive them.

On a more specific note, I like Kise because he brings a light-hearted feeling to the story where most characters could not. I like how he can decide to have his act together when it suits him, and then be a big baby with his true friends, there's something disarming about that. Even though I don't particularly love that he seems like the kind of person who can sort of dehumanise others when it suits him, I also understand that it makes sense as a defence mechanism against the overwhelming attention he gets. So, it also makes sense that he would feel more at ease with people who don't fall at his feet just like that. Um, my point was, that I appreciate that he doesn't feel like he owes anything to anyone he doesn't have a truly reciprocal relationship with.

Also, I just can't help but like people who move through the physical and social world with ease.

Okay, basically Kise is a lot of things I wish I could be but never will. :D

7. What is something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

I'm a sucker for all shenanigans there's not that much room for in canon, so I love that the fandom never gets tired of putting Kise in silly situations and having him act like a goof ball with characters who have that side in them too but wouldn't have it brought out of them so often or in quite the same way without Kise.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

I wouldn't say best friends, no, for that our comfort zones would be too different. Good friends, yes. There's a lot that I lack that a person like Kise can bring into my life and strengthen in me, and I'm fairly certain the same is true in reverse.

15. What is your favourite ship for this character?

I don't have any canon character I ship with Kise, since I see him as the sort of person who keeps friends and lovers separate to avoid drama. Like, his friends are too important to him to risk conflict because of sex which he can get anywhere, anyway. Possibly he's even aromantic. I don't know, I have a hard time picturing Kise at least traditionally in love. I've written him in my fics for a long time, and so far he has casually dated two OCs which both have some good chemistry with him, and I think in this little head world of mine he seems to be opening up to a closer and more genuine connection in that department, but I don't know if I see him in a long term relationship or not. So, I can't say I have a favourite ship.

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

This is a difficult one, no one pops into my head as special to me. It's more like I admire an aspect of Kise's closer relationships in general, and it's how unconditionally he uplifts and admires the people he really cares about. He's not egotistical or insecure in that sense that he would withhold his admiration when he feels it, which I find very sweet and healthy. Also, he has no ulterior motive, he's just genuinely excited about his friends. Sorry if that's not a good answer, but I don't have a particular relationship that speaks to me more than others.

I hope there was something worth your time. ☆

[cobaltsage]

People definitely gave Genshin a bad rep when it first came out, and I think that deterred a lot of people from playing it. But honestly, comparing it to RSL is kinda hilarious, because I think most people don’t even realize what kind of game Genshin even is.

On the surface, yeah it’s a BotW clone that grew far past its origins. It’s 120GB in size on desktop (40GB on mobile) and even free, I think the game’s worth playing. Early on, yeah, the game’s a little grating with pacing and VA and stuff I hope they go back and re-dub eventually, but the newer content is proof that the game’s really come into its own. It’s stories are engaging, its lore pretty deep for what’s essentially a play on Isekai stories, it takes the time to flesh out every area not just in design and extra details, but in mountains of hidden lore you can find in notes and books and character dialogue.

While I get it’s a Gacha game on paper, the game honestly has way more content than both BotW and TotK combined, so to me it’s not that weird that the fandom is so big, especially when they take the time to really let you meet and interact with all the PCs.

Plus, you can tell that everyone involved loves what they do. The voice actors always talk about their work with love and affection, or how they were able to insist on taking a line a certain way. Every major update has a preview where the devs talk about what’s coming up, and sometimes they talk about the aesthetic, but when Fontaine came out no, they were like ‘do you know how goddamn difficult it was to work on functioning underwater mechanics in a game that previously didn’t have them? Do you know how big of a challenge that was? Let’s go line by line and show you exactly what we did to make that possible. We cannot stress enough that we hope you see just how much time we put into making underwater plants and fish and scenery, and love it. ‘

The localization team? Also has a field day. They love throwing in references to things you wouldn’t expect ( my most recent find? “Naturally, any rational citizen knows that strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.” ). When the in game TCG came out? They absolutely leaned into Yu Gi Oh references. Legitimately, as someone who loves to learn about game design, it’s hard not to feel affectionate toward Genshin, not when you hear things like what happens to game devs like Kojima, or seeing what happens when a dev is forced to cut corners like with The Pokemon company.

I hear horror story after horror story about pretty much every company in the industry, and here Hoyo is being like “ yeah we want to tell these stories about these lesbians but we do sorta have to find a way to squeak by Chinese censorship laws. “ and like. As far as problems go? That’s sorta it. When the previous English VA for Tighnari got called out for predatory behavior? No. He got cut immediately. He got replaced. They were like ‘ yeah stay tuned we are redubbing all of his lines as we speak and will patch it in as soon as it’s done. ‘ there was nobody trying to defend what happened, there was no trying to hush the issue, there was only total reassurance that the issue was being handled and an entirely outlined process on how.

So yeah. I know I can be a bit of a Genshin fanboy when I’m talking about it. But when you see game devs actually loving everything they’re doing for a game, it’s hard not to love it back.

Also not for nothing, but even if you aren’t interested in the gameplay I’d say it’d be worth listening to one of their concerts.

can i be real with u for a second. i can't believe tjere's a real fandom for stuff like genshin impact. imagine if half your dash was posting about raid shadow legends. you'd think it was astroturf

[amalgamgooze]

Today, my high school hosted their annual art show.

This year was the first (and last) year that I had a piece featured in it.

It was also the first (and possibly last) time I'll go to it. (Though maybe I'll be back someday?)

Though I'd never been to one before, this year's exhibition felt special compared to the other years.

Maybe it was because a lot of my friends had full displays at this show.

=====================================

I walked in, showed my parents the one thing I'd painted, and quickly made my way to the main floor where all my friends were displaying their work.

First, I'd stopped at a table with a friend I knew from soccer at the beginning of the school year. He'd been injured for the first half of the season, so we'd spent a lot of time talking while on the sidelines. (It's worth noting I managed the team, so I didn't spend much time in drills either.) While we talked about his art projects occasionally, I had no idea what to expect tonight from his display at the art show.

What I didn't expect was Wes Anderson level stop-motion projects. At no point had I ever gotten the feeling that this friend was one who'd worked with stop-motion. A whole area was dedicated to watching various films he'd made. My favorite one was one he'd made about lemmings, which was a criticism of the work-intensive culture in America. (You know I love my societal parodies!)

But I think it goes to show that you'll never really know everything about a person. In fact, I'm still learning new stuff about my parents even after living with them for the past eighteen years.

Next' I'd visited a table with a newer friend, who, while we went to elementary school together, I can't say we talked much until more recently during art class. She was always working on some crochet stuff or something similar, so when I finally read their exhibit description, I was honestly shocked to find out that they focused on making their own dyes.

You know, like in Minecraft? When you take the flowers and--it's something I'd always been interested in doing, but never really had the time to do myself. It was exhilarating to see someone else who'd actually taken it up seriously. I can't explain why. After all, I wasn't even doing the thing--someone else was, and I still thought it was cool!

Maybe it's because it was someone I knew in person, who existed as a real tangible person as opposed to the online people I could've watched do the same techniques. That's just my guess.

Then I walked past the piano, which one of my friends was playing. They'd played piano at past art shows, usually with someone else to take turns with, but this time, they played the whole two hours alone. I commend Piano Friend for this--it's hard for me to even improvise for more than an hour before my hands hurt!

I also feel kind of bad for them--he never got a chance to look at most of the art, save for the displays near him. Nonetheless...

Near Piano Friend was quite possibly the most awesome artist at our school--who also happened to be another one of my friends! She was super busy talking to the many people who'd come to look at her work--as expected, since she's done so much art-related stuff for the school. Her first piece of the year was elected as the poster for the art show, and she was also commissioned to design the 2024 mural portrait thingy. (I don't remember exactly what it's called right now, but it's kind of a big deal to have the honor of designing it!)

Honestly, I didn't feel a strong need to talk to Awesome Friend since they seemed so busy with all the art show guests, and I get to talk to her every day at school anyway. Nonetheless, I still said hello when I had a chance to.

After that, I had a pleasant conversation with another artist who'd taken a more abstract approach to art. We discussed how "spontaneous art is often great", and how playing the guitar spontaneously often leads to better melodies than playing it mechanically.

Finally, I stopped at another newer elementary school friend's (like Dye Friend) display, which featured a painting of an image that was unmistakably a painting of a scene from our kindergarten play. Obviously, when I asked her about it, she confirmed my assumptions, and also added that the work made her feel a little sad.

I must admit it also made me sad, but in a good nostalgic sort of way. I feel that the painting was sort of a testament to how far we'd come since then. Just twelve short years ago we were on the stage retelling the children's story "Are You My Mother?", and now here we were getting ready to graduate from high school.

Of course, and all the things that happened between those two points.

=====================================

This year's art show was, again, special.

Though I've tried to appreciate and understand art when I go to museums and such, I can't say I've ever understood it as fully as I did tonight. When I know and have watched the stories behind the pieces my classmates've worked on, it really adds something to the experience of viewing all the finished works displayed together.

Honestly, I'm a bit miffed that I'll probably never know the art at an exhibition again as well as I did tonight.

But life goes on. And I'll have new once-in-a-lifetime experiences to mourn the singleton-ness of soon.

[seelestia]

Hello darling, if possible can I request a scaramouche and xiao really wanting to hug the reader a lot of times but being very prideful and scared to ask. Thank you if you write this love your work ❤️!!!

★彡 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐈𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐓𝐇.

❝𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐝, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈'𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐚𝐲.❞

SUMMARY. is pride worth not being able to relish in your embrace? it's up to them to decide.

CHARACTERS. xiao, scaramouche.

GENRE. fluff, slight crack, slight angst (if you squint), established relationship.

CW. scara's part includes: mentioned hypothetical violence, scara hisses at kindness, the pacing shifts from crack to romantic.

THOUGHTS. aaaa, thank you for liking my works and i hope you'll like this one too! <3 i managed to write this all in one sitting and now, we shall have our fuel of the local touch-starved yet prideful men (˃ ⌑ ˂ഃ ) + note: there was a proportional mistake in scara's part, but i fixed it!

✰ masterlist.

To embrace and be embraced is a common tradition amongst mortals. He isn't a mortal so perhaps, that is why XIAO prefers to stay away from such... childishness.

The unnecessarily close proximity, those awkward positions of the hands (what are the proper placements in the first place?), the possibility that you can hear and tease him for his racing heartbeat. Doing those things is almost akin to throwing rocks on his pride as an Adeptus.

Yet, Xiao only contradicts himself; with the way his arms are aching to gravitate towards you at the weirdest of times.

When you greet him with that silly smile on your face, when you bring him a plate of handmade Almond Tofu, when you ask him about his day, when you have to bid goodbye to him at the end of the day — just like right now.

When tints of red and orange begin to descend upon the skies above Dihua Marsh that is spread out under the balcony where you and your lover stand, the breeze is the gentlest when dusk comes to say its greetings.

As peaceful as it is, this time also rings another bell in your head; that night is about to come and the front door to your home is waiting for its owner.

"I think it's time for me to go now," you mumble with a sigh, yet your feet are still glued in place as if taking a footstep is heavier than lifting a boulder. But this feeling is a routine you have to encounter daily, although there never seems to be a cure.

The desire for a cure to prevent the longing within your heart to be near your lover at all times, that is; something the Conqueror of Demons also happens to share with you.

"Already?" Xiao frowns, a reaction that is unrestrained from his usual composed behavior. Has time passed so quickly? He must've lost track of it again because of your presence, always so distracting but he's not against it.

You almost stifle a laugh at the disbelief in his voice, "I'll come by tomorrow like usual, so you don't have to miss me that much." His frown digs deeper into his forehead, much more now that you're teasing him.

But there is something else occupying his mind, a wish that he is unsure how to communicate and weave into words that you'd understand. Yet, it all comes down to that one problem; that strange and irritating yearning that runs through his hands.

"What is it, Xiao?"

You ask an innocent question, but the Yaksha's cheeks flare up. Xiao is once again reminded of his failure with communicating such a childish want, so he resorts to a mechanism he knows best which is, unfortunately, to deflect.

"Nevermind—"

But you're able to read through him, you always do.

You encase him in your arms, a gentle tug into your embrace that instantly takes him by surprise. As a Yaksha, he always has to be on his guard, anything can be a potential enemy to him — but being around you has long taught him to lower his walls a little, a change he never thought he'd ever allow.

Perhaps, that explains why his first instinct is to give in. And when he does, your scent envelopes him like a light shower of perfume that greets his nose. Not the overbearing kind that other mortals wear and spray to impress the person of their affections.

But rather, it just simply smells like you. It smells like home.

And you're so warm, as if he is sitting by a hearth that lulls him to slumber. That is one last detail Xiao is able to remember before you pull away with a little chuckle that tickles his ear.

He wishes to stay like that a little longer, a tiny voice whispers in his heart. But the warmth comes again; this time, it comes when you grasp his hand softly and your eyes are as tender as your touch.

"If you want a hug, you can just ask me anytime. You don't have to fidget with your hands like that, alright?"

You say that so easily and Xiao feels the frustration rushing in.

Why is it harder when he thinks about it and why is it easier when all you do is just pull him in like that? This matter is a little too confusing for his liking, but the feeling of your warmth being so close is... pleasant.

Xiao can't believe he's succumbing to a tradition practiced by mortals. But if it's with you; perhaps, it isn't so bad, after all.

─ ⊹ ⊱ ・・・・・・☆・・・・・・・⊰ ⊹ ─

SCARAMOUCHE is not a fan of physical touch, emphasis on the not. Never has and never will, you hear?

Such displays of affection only churn the bile of annoyance in his guts even further. That lovey-dovey look in those people's eyes as they stare at each other... Ugh, how utterly disgusting.

Don't you want to puke at the sight? Don't you just want to obliterate these annoying people? Zap them, watch them scurry away in fear, no? Whatever you say, it's a yes from him, definitely.

And yet, why on these cursed lands is he even considering the thought to do that exact same thing?

Trying to push away this pestering feeling proves futile, it's no use. The more he attempts to do so, the more it festers in his mind and Scaramouche sees the need to grumble out his irritation.

If pushing it away results in nothing but vain, then the best he can do is pretend it's not there — which, apparently, translates to boring literal holes into your face with a scowl and he's not even hiding it.

"You look like you're about to roast me for dinner," you blink in a deadpanned manner, quite understandably confused.

He huffs in response, "So, what if I am?"

But in all actuality, Scaramouche isn't here to roast you for dinner, you won't taste good roasted either way. He is staring... well, just because he can, obviously, Do you need him to list all the reasons like a dutiful lawyer in a court? Hmph.

But what he doesn't want you to know is the conflict going on inside his head.

Goodness, you should've seen the way his thoughts are divided into two sides; one where he wants to tell you to shut up and then hug you — and the other where he wants to throw a blanket at you, so your face isn't visible and hopefully by then, these weird thoughts would go away.

Scaramouche is leaning towards the latter side, if he's being brutally honest. But if he did, you'd slam the door on him and tell him to sleep outside. Neither the floor or the couch is a comfortable option for him, so he decides to just let his thoughts go wild while he glowers at you for no particular reason.

He thinks he looks scary, but honestly? You find that menacing glare on his face to be nothing short of adorable, despite how many Fatui recruits would call you insane and crazy for thinking so.

But as adorable as your lover looks, either an event has happened that soured his mood or he is being his usual sour candy self. And you are serious this time; if you can help him get a few frustrations off of his chest, then you want to.

"What's up, then? You can always talk to me about anything, I'll listen."

You ask, blissfully unaware that you are the frustration he's experiencing. The genuine concern on your face makes it all the more unbearable for him — he hisses to himself mentally; fine then, darn his pride, darn his futile attempts, darn it all.

"Don't move."

Scaramouche doesn't elaborate more with snappy comebacks after those simple two words. No, instead, he clasps your shoulders with his hands and turns you around by sheer strength alone.

"Scara? What are you—"

Is he asking you to leave? Does he want some space? These questions come flooding in but just as you are about to speak, you feel a pair of arms cling to your figure.

Ah, you realize. These arms are the very same ones that have just swept you around mere moments ago, but it feels as if that demanding strength has dissipated into an inkling of desperate desire.

Desperate. Huh, if someone were to include this word and his name in one sentence, they would've never lived to see the light of day ever again. But that is one of the feelings you can almost absorb from his touch that holds onto you — and that's alright.

Sometimes, you wish you can tell him that there are times where we can be desperate and it's not wrong to admit that. But if there's anything you know about him, he's definitely a strong-headed one in his beliefs.

That's one of the reasons why you love him in the first place.

His breath against your back almost tickles a chuckle out of you, but the firmness in his voice holds you in place. He mumbles into the fabric of your clothes, "I don't want to see what stupid facial expression you have on right now."

He's such a liar, you smile. No, you know him well enough to know that the reality is that he doesn't want you to see the face he is making.

When it comes to his pride, Scaramouche has never been a bashful one; but at the face of your affections, he all but falters into an embarrassed mess.

"Let's stay like this for a bit," he mutters with a gentler tone this time, almost as if to compensate for the harshness of his prior words.

"Anything for you," you say. He would've grimaced at the sappiness of your words but somehow, as you rest your hand over his without another word, he can't help but smile.

Scaramouche never uses a 'let us' in his sentence, but you get that privilege. So, bow on your knees and be grateful — or you can let him hug you a little longer, take your pick.

© SEELESTIA, august 2022. do not repost, plagiarize, translate nor claim as your own.

[angelsndragons]

*sing* it's been ~a while~

and i have been watching vm vs the nein a lot so let's talk about it. as always with me, this is a very long word vomit.

i said over on my mechanics post that the vm playbook requires urgency while the nein's playbook requires setup. here's what i mean. if the nein can make it to round 3-4 intact, that is if all of them are up, they are going to win. period. the nein simply have too many ways to steal turns from their enemies or to maximize their own effectiveness for things to go any other way.

if you want to see this in action even with a reduced roster, go watch the fire elemental fight in episode 129 and count the rounds. between caduceus' mass cure wounds and spirit guardians, caleb's slow, veth's sneak attacks, and jester's guiding bolts, the nein were able to scrape out a win thanks more to their bag of tricks than the damage output. veth only got sneak attack because of guiding bolt's secondary effects, slow kept veth safe from an opportunity attack and jester from a multi-attack, mass cure wounds gave caleb that round to cast slow, and the spirit guardians passively whittled down the enemies into KO range. the accumulated secondary effects were too much for the enemies to withstand and they fell hard. notice how everything built on one another here. that's what cockroach parties learn to do well. it was sloppier than a normal nein fight but they did it with a reduced roster AND with nearly all of their high level spell slots spent before the fight. yeah, they're fucking scary.

vm, however, is a whole different kind of scary. this team can put you down before you even know what's happening. it's harder to target the group's biggest damage dealers because you have a hulking barbarian and often an elemental up front locking down combatants. the dagger rogue can teleport and fly. oh, and give himself an extra action each round. the ranger and the gunslinger can stand back and just go to town. the freaking bear can maul you. the bard can make your life a living joke in your final moments. the cleric is a wildcard because the group is built to fight without her; if she's around, good luck because that's another round of attacks you have to take and an extra round vm can take. their DCs are ridiculous, as are their overall ACs.

but the thing to know about vm is that they have to put you down fast. they don't have the hit points for longer fights and they definitely don't have the utility for longer fights. their druid is offensively oriented, their cleric is often absent, and their bard is mostly support. he's often the only one running that bag of tricks. he can and will fuck up an opposing team given the chance and bolster his own, the problem is that he has almost no backup here. it's a giant hole that is begging to be exploited. it's an even bigger hole when that bard can only cast one spell per round.

so, going into the battle royale, the vm side had to down one member of the nein as fast as possible preferably in two rounds or fewer. it almost doesn't matter who, because if you down beau or fjord, that forces jester or fjord to spend their action or spell getting the downed member back up. if jester goes down, fjord has to do something about it. well, i say it almost doesn't matter but beau's deflect missiles makes her the worst target of the trio and yes, i'm including fjord's half-orc bounce back in that calculation. that gives you one round where the person healing isn't fucking up your team. vm's secondary objective was to monitor and control beau. her movement is nothing to compared to a hasted vax but her stunning strike is the most lethal weapon the nein brought into this fight. vm overall is not a melee group to begin with and their con saves are all garbage. vm has to find a way to keep her off their tails if they want a chance. we also know that vm's plan was to try to take out jester first so throw that objective into the mix as well.

all the nein have to do is survive the first couple rounds, monitor scanlan and pike, and get into position. that's basically it. the nein can absolutely withstand vax and percy's damage output for the first two rounds. pike and scanlan's damage output can be scary but pike in particular has to decide whether she wants to hold high level slots for healing. and she would need those higher level slots to get close to percy and vax's damage output. the nein know from experience that the support caster is where the real trouble will begin.

but before we kick things off, remember that matt specifically designed this battlefield to take turns away from the teams. the chests are an action to search and are located far out of the way in the field. the gem requires an action to activate, which basically means sacrificing your action for someone else's, and shifts between six designated points on the field. matt, who has a deep understanding of how both teams operate, decided to play on the nein's insecurities that they were at a severe item disadvantage and see if he could get them to bite. high risk, high reward. granted, this is me speculating but it does look like matt saw the fight very differently from the players and readjusted the field accordingly.

so we kick off and immediately scanlan proves why he is the top priority on the nein's list. he gets the gem, gets fjord prone on the ground, and comes within a hair's breadth of turning the fight into a five on two potential slaughter. travis brilliantly responds to these circumstances in the best of ways. see, fjord isn't the nein's utility magician for this fight; fjord's the bait. travis makes a very big spectacle of himself and fjord's predicament. and vm buys it hook, line, and sinker. ashley tries to continue with the original plan of gunning for jester only to discover that jester is who knows where.

vax, percy and scanlan? immediately take their shots at fjord. but fjord's on the ground which puts percy's awful misfire mechanic into reasonable play. so fjord gets lucky and doesn't take anywhere near the amount of damage he could have from percy. scanlan, after percy is removed from the field, decides he's better off trying to finish fjord but only hits a 3rd level thunder wave instead of a higher level one, which sam was probably saving for some counterspells or such. i don't think a higher level would have made that much of a difference but it is important to note.

more importantly, vax gets greedy. he got two good hits on fjord with his two actions, he could have left and hidden for the next turn. yes, vm has to down fjord as fast as possible. however that haste is going to be more effective over the long term if vax can keep it. but fjord's easy prey and he thinks vm can down him before jester can get over there to do anything about it. so he goes for the bonus action attack. pike eventually joins this mad dash scramble and like scanlan, she absolutely needed to throw something huge at fjord to get past his half-orc racial trait to have a prayer at downing him. but she did not because ashley seems to have been saving all her high levels for healing so fjord survives the round in honestly a very good position. vax can't target him from range with the cloud up, scanlan now has bigger problems than fjord with molly right up on him, and pike ran, taking damage and healing fjord in the process.

meanwhile, the nein's ladies are free to run and play the field as they see fit. jester has a big opening round flame strike. beau decides she can hold off on her round 2 blitz run to vm in favor of bringing molly onto the field. remember kids, never let a monk with 55ft of movement have the run of the place, it's bad for business. jester then makes a great play with her dispel magic at vax's haste. hashtag thanks, fjord. remember, kids, cockroach parties excel at taking turns and actions away from their opponents. in round 2 alone, the nein successfully remove percy from the field and remove vax's extra attack. that's both big damage dealers hobbled in one round. they also gave themselves an extra turn, adding molly onto the field. and oh boy, molly.

here we see the utility martial fighter molly could have been. sam's confused by the low damage that molly's doing his first round but the damage isn't really the point of the attacks. that brand of tethering is far more important, as are taliesin keeping an eye on which reactions will support the nein and molly's second attack wasting scanlan's reaction. counterspell is off the table for the back half of round 2-beginning of round 3, which is important if fjord wants to get the heck out of dodge.

in case it wasn't obvious earlier in the match that the nein are absolutely gunning for scanlan, round 3 begins with beau's blitz against scanlan. fjord's luck against the dominate person balances out with scanlan's save against the stun and beau missing one attack. here, vm starts to get distracted. they chose their focus fire target, fjord, but now do not, arguably cannot, follow through on it. we'll never know what could have happened had vm said to hell with beau and molly in our faces, we have to finish fjord.

vax tries to retaliate against beau but here's where the cockroach starts to come into play. molly blood curses vax, which saves beau a full sneak attack+ worth of damage. it also utterly wastes vax's turn. fjord manages to escape (and damage pike while he's at it) and regroup where it's safe. scanlan tries to dimension door but fails due to the brand. literally any other move scanlan could try on the pair of them had a better chance of success. instead, another vm turn is lost. taliesin recognizes the importance of getting beau advantage and supports her at the cost of two of his attacks missing, but not before scanlan is forced to cutting words one of them. another potential counterspell and cutting words lost. neither jester or pike contribute significantly to this round; the nein have done so much damage to pike in three rounds that she is forced to heal herself while jester chooses to dimension door herself to the gem and only a low damage roll lets it evade her.

beau takes molly's setup and gets the critical scanlan stun. he loses his full round. fjord takes the opportunity molly provided him to polymorph into a t-rex, bringing him fully back into the fight. vm is really going to have a time and a half trying to finish him now unless they can put up a big single damage attack. jester builds on beau's setup by casting flame strike, whose dex save scanlan automatically fails. he goes down. if you're the nein, this is exactly where you want pike focused, on her team and not on yours. she has access to most of the same spells that jester has and the more you pressure her to focus on her team, the better. it's not wasting her turn, precisely, but it is controlling what she can reasonably do with it.

now we come to percy versus beau. i don't want to diminish the insane good luck beau had to take only 26 points of damage from six shots because what matters here is that percy absolutely could not down beau. period. her hit points were too high and after she took almost nothing from the first two shots, it should have been clear that she was going to get her turn and she would absolutely attempt to stun and down pike and scanlan. i'm not going to monday morning quarterback this fight but i will point out that the more rolls travis has to make to maintain concentration, the greater the chance he fails and you get to hit fjord's actual hit point pool and trade fjord for scanlan. and if you can get him before he can get back into the fray, even better.

beau stuns the gnomes and drops scanlan again. her inner cockroach rears its head once more as she negates more than half the damage on vax's critical hit sneak attack. fjord-rex downs scanlan and grapples pike. the stun on pike here really helps negate that high AC of hers. after scanlan's death, it's a long slow death spiral. vax abandons the fight in the next critical round in favor of keeping the gem instead of targeting fjord. percy attacks beau once more instead of fjord due to fjord dangling pike over lava. he starts to focus on fjord only to get distracted by jester. pike goes down but vax gets caught by beau before he can get her back up. and so it goes with vm losing turn after turn after turn until finally the nein poof percy out of existence and bring molly back. a fitting end for the team who started their final boss fight with eight and came out nine.

bottom line here, the vm team played like they had way more time than they actually did. they had to commit to a target and see it dead as fast as possible. they had to control the battlefield quickly and keep it. they didn't so they couldn't. aside from building on damage dealt, they couldn't create advantages or opportunities for each other nearly as effectively as nein did. all of these factors meant that the nein did what they always do: grind their enemies under heel.

[thymechaos]

alright gotta get the rest of this off my chest, so here are the cliff notes of the essay i was yelling at my wife from the bathroom at 5:30 this morning

1. obviously this is where he meets zoro’s trauma from patriarchy and cisnormativity coming the other way.

zoro has also seen that this shit kills. like sure they said it was an accident, but the bystanders at the funeral literally point out how fucking WEIRD it was that kuina would be be carrying those swords down the stairs for no reason. so either it was an attempt to pull a sabo and get the fuck out with those swords, or - more likely, because swords don’t fucking unsheathe themselves that easily and a skilled fighter would know better than to carry an unsheathed blade down the stairs, or indeed to unsheathe it at all unless in combat - the harm was self-inflicted. was it suicide, or a horribly sad reaction to the implied dysphoria in the previous scene with zoro? who knows, but his friend died regardless.

so he sees sanji acting all weird around women and he’s instantly like wtf is wrong with you, why can’t you just treat women as people, don’t you know the harm you are doing? he sees someone who makes a big show of not raising a hand to women, and treating them as perfect paragons who can do no wrong, and what he hears is kuina’s words about being inherently weaker, the resentment at the perceived pity, that helplessness in the face of a life inevitably diminishing.

meanwhile sanji is faced with the obvious disdain from a tough guy who fights with swords and he’s instantly defensive. because yeah, this is how the world works. men like zoro look down on him because just like his brothers and father, they think he’s not a Real Man. if he backs down, he'll be a target, he'll be weak again, he'll be right back where he started again and he does not want to.

obviously they get to know and respect each other and learn that it's not that simple, but not until the dynamic is firmly established, and they're both too proud to actually acknowledge that they were wrong abt each other.

2. and then luffy. oh god luffy. another guy, so he's wary, but then this unhinged little ray of sunshine instantly zeroes in on his art, his passion, the thing other men either disdain or see as mostly utilitarian... and he unreservedly tells him how good it is. there is no condescension, no pretense, no grudging acknowledgement that he's not too bad for a useless brat, because god forbid men just compliment each other. just wow, you're so fucking cool, your skill has incredible worth, your dream is precious and important, I see your kindness and your caring, and I want you.

for the first time, another man takes the part of sanji that he has tried so desperately to protect at all costs, the part that matters most to him despite being devalued and underplayed at every turn, and he says that this? this is exactly what I've been looking for.

poor man didn't stand a chance.

3. sanji's fucking sister. a perfect portrait of a woman who plays along with patriarchy in the desperate hope of being spared by it. she projects a persona that lands right between a tradwife and Not Like The Other Girls. she laughs along with the cruelty, she embodies everything they want her to be, she gives up her agency in return for safety. she shows kindness through the mitigation of male violence, not by openly rebelling against it. she hates it and it hurts her, but since she feels powerless to stop it, she might as well benefit from it.

4. related to this, viola. no fucking wonder sanji unflinchingly believes that she is in fact a victim, that she does need help, even though she immediately went “PSYCHE, i was playing you, get wrecked”. because he’s met his fucking sister and he can recognize the coping mechanisms.

5. gender, man. it’s complicated. because all this is obviously related to his reactions to people who challenge the gender binary. and yeah there are some Choices made in the writing there that are not always fantastic, bc oda is confused but he’s got the spirit? but also… haha we literally see Iva weaponize dysphoria in a fight, we see the baseline for how a cis dude reacts when suddenly forced into a woman’s body. sanji’s reaction is… not that. like even before they know wtf is going on or if there is EVER going to be a way to reverse it? he doesn’t show the SLIGHTEST discomfort, not even a little bit. he’s unequivocally delighted, it’s the best day of his fucking life. make of that what you will.

6. bro no seriously, the queer coding. like they hide him away and pretend he’s dead? and then they let him leave provided he never shames them with his existence? and the found family? and the LITERAL REJECTION OF A HETEROSEXUAL MARRIAGE IN FAVOR OF THIS FOUND FAMILY? the sheer ROMANCE of sanji being told that he has to come back; that the feeling, kind, caring person he is at heart is integral not just to his own dreams, but to luffy’ was well? What The Fuck.

i am not okay. i’m never going to be okay again. this shit is in my brain and in my emotions and i can’t deal.

i just can't believe that oda fucking create sanji, a stereotypical ladies man who simps to an embarrassing degree for women while having his hackles comically raised around everyone he perceives as a man - and most notably butting heads with the more obvious ~manly man~ of the crew. haha, classic anime running gag, the kind that gets obnoxious at times but still makes you laugh.

AND THEN, like a billion chapters later, motherfucker steeples his fingers and goes "soooooooo... what makes a person Like That?"

and the answer is that he grew up in fucking Toxic Masculinity, The Kingdom. the answer is that he was always Different, in a way other guys instinctively perceived as weak, and that made him the target of visceral scorn and violence. the answer is that he was sensitive, sweet, caring, nurturing - feminine-coded traits which are only valued by patriarchy insofar that they're performed by women in service of men. the answer is that in a kingdom comprised almost entirely by violent men, the only ones who were ever kind to him, the only safety he ever had, were a girl and a woman.

so cooking is for women and servants, it makes you less of a man. only women will ever really value you for your passions and dreams. women are also actively hurt by the way the world works, they are unsafe unless they comply with men's violence, and you have to protect them.

(men will always know what you are, and they will hurt you if you let them.)

and even after he leaves... at baratie he is cherished and respected, but even that is an extremely masculine environment. we don't talk about our feelings, we don't let our guard down, the only love is tough love. when he tries to express his artistry and express himself through his cooking, rather than just filling orders and making money, he gets mocked.

so here is a man who will not raise a hand to a woman, because he rejects the masculinity he was raised with and refuses to become yet another man subjecting women to violence. he is desperate for women's attention and affection because it's SAFE, it's the only kind he can trust. other men are potential threats and must be treated as such. he must at all times be snarky, tough, Not Feminine, because to be perceived otherwise is to be powerless, to be hurt.

like y'all. the queer coding of it all? the overtly feminist themes? the active rejection of toxic masculinity and the way it's shown to be directly tied to imperialism? what the fuck.

[variousqueerthings]

some things about coping and Trapper and BJ (but mainly Trapper)

so I was thinking about the idea that Trapper separates war-and-home as a coping mechanism, and to what extent I was primed for that read because of fanon (it can be hard to tell, even if I’m not yet following any MASH blogs, I do get to see stuff on occasion and have read some non-spoilery fanfiction) 

which is making me evaluate for myself, where am I getting this idea from in the text, as an idea that I like, with the knowledge that it most probably wasn’t thought about that way in the writing itself

and that made me think about doing the thing that BJ would hate the most -- doing a BJ-and-Trapper comparison (although it’s mainly Trapper):

the main thing for me with Trapper is not actually that he doesn’t write to Hawkeye when he goes home (although that comes into it), it’s more the ways in which he’s compared to BJ -- 

the parallel between him and BJ “I have a lifeline to home” Hunnicutt is one that’s built up pretty slowly  (or at least, on first watch I didn’t notice it happening until Period of Adjustment when BJ himself brings it up), but it made me think about how the show retroactively explores things from earlier seasons -- the main example being everything to do with Margaret 

another one of these is the idea of cheating on your spouse. And also here comes a heavy dose of “I inject my personal feelings into all of this,” and to me, if Trapper serial cheating on his wife in Korea is just a thing that he does because “that’s what guys overseas do,” then I don’t like him as much as a character

in comparison to, say, Henry, who it is suggested has cheated on his wife before (if I understood the blackmailing that Flagg was doing to be based in reality), but Henry is a character who’s very flawed in lots of ways -- he often lacks conviction, he’s not a particularly inspiring leader, he’s a terrible orator, but he’s a Very Flawed Guy who maybe wants to be less so at times (going by how he admires Hawkeye’s and Trapper’s antics) and is doing his best in a situation he also did not ask for/consent to, while knowing he’s not a hero-type (anyway, different analysis). And he cheats on his wife a lot, and also occasionally says mean-spirited things about her (which, my guy, we’ve seen the video she made for you, you oughta be on your hands and knees honestly) although he clearly does love her as well

also Frank, who dislikes his wife and doesn’t have a backbone -- which gives us two guys who serial cheat on their wives who are a certain kind of Flawed (+ some side characters) and Trapper, who is a different kinda guy to everyone else portrayed as serial cheating

Trapper doesn’t talk about Louise much at all, and if he does it’s throwaway lines like the “that’s an ugly rumour started by my wife” (based on something Hawkeye said first about him being married) -- 

the three episodes where some part of his home-life comes up in a big way is Kim, Mail Call, and Check-Up, the first in which he talks about how he finally feels like there’s some Purpose to him being here and writes to Louise to ask if they can adopt Kim and generally gushes about her, the second where he almost goes AWOL because of a picture sent to him of his daughters (and also note on comparison to BJ: the on the surface somewhat goofier hitting Hawkeye with a sack of clothes and toilet paper that still sends him careening across the tent because Hawkeye is made of paper, vs the full-on punch in the face in Period of Adjustment... idk what it is, but it’s in my head forever) and then in Check-Up he thinks he’s actually going home for a moment and talks about how much he’s looking forward to seeing his daughters and wife

home feels like an intrusion of some kind --  the one time it’s worth thinking about in terms of the war, it’s the idea that he might find Purpose (which is such an interesting idea for him to bring up there), which then dissipates pretty quickly, then it’s just full-on despair, and then it’s quickly erased from the conversation once Trapper discovers he’s actually not going home (and we’re told in 4x1 that when he found out he was he got drunk for two days and then ran naked through the mess tent, that feels right for him)  

I think it’s interesting to see how Hawkeye doesn’t really seem to mind Trapper cheating, but both times when BJ cheats or almost-cheats on Peg he has something to say about it. There’s a lot in it, but I think on some level it’s mainly that he knows that for BJ the idea of going home/normalcy at the end is an important thing (and I’m personally so normal about the way Hawkeye inserts himself into BJ’s marriage several times, both of those episodes + Oh How We Danced + Where There’s A War, off the top of my head), and that for Trapper not thinking about home/being distracted by antics and mutual support while there is important

the comparison of coping mechanisms is the main thing which makes me like this read of Trapper -- Trapper divorces home-and-here from each other, and BJ keeps home in laser-focus (or, that’s the one that BJ admits to, the “fucking with others” coping mechanism is less self-examined)

I also think that that’s a really interesting way to look at how dedicated and devoted Trapper is to the 4077th and to Hawkeye whilst he’s there -- for all intents and purposes this is reality/family/home, and the other Trapper who lives in Boston with his wife and kids is a different guy. And I like the idea that he thinks he can compartmentalise it  -- and clearly can’t in Korea, because the blending of the two hit him hard/are some of his most melancholy episodes, and I also don’t think he’ll be able to once home. But I like to imagine that he tries and maybe doesn’t know what else to do (and maybe has a breaking point, or Louise has a breaking point, of some kind that leads to... something... nearly done with s11 so will find fanfic about what that something could be)

meanwhile I’m interested in how I can read BJ’s method as messing with the genuine connections he’s been making in the camp -- mainly the one with Hawkeye, which he seems to be continuously prodding at in later seasons to see how far it can bend -- not the intention either, I’m sure, but one of the things I like to get out of it. the read that increasingly the camp (and the stand-in for that being mainly Hawkeye) is the source of his frustrations and therefore of his outlet of frustration at the war, while home remains some kind of pure ideal -- which of course also doesn’t work, because every time Peg indicates some change in the home/with herself/with Erin, he acts out

it’s no more possible to simply live in the now and deny the past-and-future, than it is to try to ignore the now in favour of the past-and-future

extra tangent:

I also -- now that I’ve finished my 1-3 + going into s4 rewatch -- think that if Hawkeye had thought about it, Trapper gave him the best goodbye he could think of (a kiss -- and I still think he meant for it to be on the mouth)

when comparing it to Check-Up, where he does get to say goodbye to him, and Trapper simply says “no charge,” I like the idea that Trapper isn’t sure what to say that can be heartfelt enough, (and I like the idea that maybe Trapper feels he should’ve done that last time, if I’m stretching further into headcanon land) -- Hawkeye is the one with all the words, Trapper’s more of a doing guy in my opinion, and a kiss says a lot

not that a letter couldn’t also say some things Trapper John Mcintyre!

[octerminal]

Avoiding the ME1 LI Romances

...And also what to do if you’ve already triggered them.

This is a post I’ve been wanting to remake forever, and with the remaster around the corner I thought now was a good time to finally get on it.

A few things first: I say “avoiding the ME1 LI romances”, but in reality this is mostly going to be about Kaidan and Ashley. While there are a few ways around Liara’s romance I’ve discovered, I have never been able to find a simple way to avoid triggering it. (I’ll get to that later.)

This post will be split into three sections: Kaidan, Ashley, and Liara. Kaidan and Ashley’s sections specifically will go over how to avoid triggering their romances entirely, and then the dialogue choices you need to take if you want to end the romance if it’s already been triggered. I have also included a few bonus things for the both of them, such as avoiding the flirting during the scenic view cutscene in the Citadel Wards. For Kaidan specifically, I have also included content about his mechanics in ME3.

Please note that most of these have been accomplished on console. I have gotten several PC users who do attest that, at the very least, Kaidan’s portion works for them. But on the off-chance that platform influences other parts of Kaidan’s, or Ashley and Liara’s, I thought it was worth mentioning. It should also be said that, obviously, these are all using the original games as a basis, though I am not expecting MELE to change any of this.

I will also be using both my Kaidan transcript and Ashley transcript as reference for their dialogue. I recommend following along there if you find Tumblr’s formatting confusing.

Final note before we begin: this post is not an open invitation to hate on any of these characters. ME1 is turning 14 this year and ME3 recently turned 9. Anything you have to say about these characters and their romance mechanics has already been beaten to death, brought back to life, and beaten to death again. No one wants to hear it, least of all me. Please keep your comments to yourself and be civil.

KAIDAN

“I WANT TO AVOID TRIGGERING IT ENTIRELY, WHAT DO I DO?”

Kaidan’s romance can be triggered after the first main mission has been completed. For many players, I imagine this is Therum, but it really doesn’t matter which mission it is.

Kaidan will prompt the conversation, as he will for every other post-main mission conversation so long as his romance remains active. This conversation will be about his time at Brain Camp. You can read the conversation in his transcript if you find it easier to follow along, though I have done my best to format this post as cleanly as possible.

KAIDAN: Commander, do you have a minute?

SHEPARD: (You can choose whatever dialogue option you want. It makes no difference yet.)

KAIDAN: Off the record, I think there’s something wrong here. This Saren is looking for records on some kind of galactic extinction, but we can’t get backup from the Council? Sorry, Commander. There’s writing on the wall here, but someone isn’t reading it.

SHEPARD: (Again, you may choose whatever dialogue option you want. It still makes no difference yet.)

>FIRST CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

KAIDAN: I hear ya. It - It just seems like a group that’s been around as long as the Council should see this coming. It’s funny. We finally get out here and the final frontier was already settled. And the residents don’t even seem impressed by the view...or the dangers.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Zip it, Lieutenant.): I’m sure your letters home are very poignant. Just keep this kind of sentimentality out of the CIC.

KAIDAN: Yes, ma’am. Sorry to have wasted your time. I’m right about the mission, though. I know it. (The conversation will end here and his romance will not trigger.)

>SECOND CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

SHEPARD (Paragon - Cute way to look at it./Neutral - An old-fashioned view.): Well, well. You’re a romantic. Did you sign on “for the dream,” Alenko? Secure man’s future in space?

KAIDAN: Heh, yeah, I read a lot of those books when I was a kid. Where the hero goes to space to prove himself worthy of a woman he loves. Or, you know. For justice. Maybe I was a romantic in the beginning. But I thought about it after Brain Camp - ah, sorry, “Biotic Acclimation and Temperance training.” I’m not looking for “the dream.” I just want to do some good. See what’s out here. Sorry if I got too informal. Protocol wasn’t a big focus back in BAaT.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Just be ready.): I trust you won’t have any questions when whatever’s coming hits the fan?

KAIDAN: None. I’m not questioning the mission. I’m just concerned. Sorry to have wasted your time, ma’am. It won’t happen again. (The conversation will end here and his romance will not trigger.)

The final chance to cut off Kaidan’s romance before it triggers happens after Shepard asks him about Brain Camp. This opens up a lot of investigation options and you may exhaust all of them. If you want to avoid hearing Kaidan imply that he thinks your Shepard is attractive, avoid the “Time to talk, then./Time to “get physical,” then.” investigation options. Once Kaidan is done speaking about Brain Camp, you will get one final chance to avoid his romance.

>THIRD CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

KAIDAN: Anyway. This was supposed to be a casual debrief, not a bull session about stuff that happened years ago.

SHEPARD (Renegade - You’re right.): I pretty much gave up waiting for the good part.

KAIDAN: Bad habit, ma’am. I do tend to run off at the mouth. I will work on it for my next review. Sorry to have wasted your time, ma’am. It won’t happen again. (The conversation ends and his romance does not trigger.)

You will notice all of these are renegade options. There is literally no way around this if you want to avoid triggering Kaidan’s romance. You don’t get any renegade points from them, and Kaidan does not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

Here is an easy way to tell if Kaidan’s romance remains active. Conversations between him and Shepard will end like this:

SHEPARD: We’ll talk later, Kaidan.

KAIDAN: I’d like that.

“I’VE ALREADY TRIGGERED IT, HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS?”

The good news is that getting out of the romance is fairly simple. The game gives you a lot of opportunities before it triggers the love triangle with Liara (assuming her romance has also been triggered, anyway).

If Kaidan’s romance was triggered, you will have an opportunity at the beginning of his second and third post-main mission talks. These are a bit more complex to transcribe, so I really recommend just reading them in my transcription if you need the exact dialogue options to understand.

But the gist: You can’t go wrong with choosing the renegade dialogue options. This is always the dialogue option that will end his romance. You are almost never going to end his romance with a paragon or neutral dialogue option. He will always prompt this conversation by wondering if he’s gotten his signals mixed up, if there’s someone else you’d rather spend time with, if he’s being too casual, etc. Once he does this, just shoot him down with a renegade dialogue option.

Again: you get no renegade points from this. He will not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

Here is an example. This one occurs in his second post-main mission talk if Liara’s romance hasn’t been triggered:

KAIDAN: I’m just saying...try to leave yourself a way out. I’ve seen what cutting corners can do and I’d hate to have that happen to you, Shepard. Commander.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I don’t need approval.): I’m your commanding officer, Alenko. Are you questioning the way I handle things?

KAIDAN: No, Commander. Just concerned about the reception of the brass if things go sour. I apologize for bringing it up. I know we’re getting the job done.

SHEPARD: (You can choose whatever response you like; they all lead to the romance ending.)

If you have repeatedly not broken off the romance with Kaidan after a certain point and Liara’s romance is also active, it will trigger the love triangle scene. This is one of the last points you have to break off Kaidan’s romance, but it will lock you into Liara’s romance instead. If you are wanting a no-romance run, I recommend choosing one of the other options instead.

There is also a separate way to end the romance outside these three opportunities. In the third post-main mission talk, you must pick the dialogue option that triggers the argument that can “renegade” Kaidan’s opinion on the Council. You must not choose the charm or intimidate option here, and you must then pick the renegade dialogue options. The conversation should go like this:

KAIDAN: So yeah, I hated that turian. But he wasn’t “a turian” to me. He was Vyrnnus.

SHEPARD (Renegade - All turians are the same.): You can’t deny the turians are imperialists. And the asari, the salarians - they’re manipulators.

KAIDAN: Shepard, I outgrew the blame game years ago. If the Alliance is missing its chance, it’s because of men like Udina. Not the rest of the galaxy holding it back.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I’m not so sure.): When anyone out here listens to us, the Council starts up with their treaties and heel-dragging. We can only rely on ourselves.

KAIDAN: We’re not doing the galaxy any favors if we try to force our way into a seat at the grown-up table. They aren’t - malicious. They’re just slow to change. My story doesn’t get any better if Vyrnnus is a good guy.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Whose side are you on?): I don’t need you kissing the Council’s asses, too.

KAIDAN: Look, Shepard. You’re in command, and we’ll all follow your lead. But don’t ream me out for having an opinion. I thought we respected each other more than that.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I can’t respect this.): I can’t believe you’d side with aliens over your own kind. I think we’re done here.

KAIDAN: Yeah, I think we are. It’s--It’s too bad we...It’s just too bad, Commander.

This argument will end his romance. He will also not be renegaded. This is obviously a much more convoluted way to end his romance, but I’m throwing the option out there because it’s 1) hilarious, and 2) way more dramatic, if you want to roleplay ending the romance for whatever reason.

MISCELLANEOUS

Depending on the dialogue options you take for the scenic view on the Citadel, Kaidan will always flirt with you. This does not lock you into, or even trigger, his romance. It is entirely possible to not have him flirt with you at all in this scene, and still initiate the romance later. But if you do not want him to flirt with you, simply do this:

[image ID: ME1’s subtitles showing Ashley saying “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.” with the dialogue wheel below it giving the following dialogue choices, starting from the top: “What’s not to like?”, “Let’s move out.”, and “That’s enough, you two.” end ID]

When you get to this part of the scenic view cutscene, choose any dialogue option but the top “What’s not to like?” one.

Also, even if you’ve already avoided or shut down Kaidan’s romance, Liara will still ask if there’s something between the two of you if her romance is active. Tell her that there isn’t (because there isn’t). Her saying this does not re-trigger Kaidan’s romance.

Congratulations, you have now survived ME1’s romance mechanics. Enjoy experiencing unromanced Kaidan for the rest of the game.

ME3 BONUS: “OKAY, WHAT ABOUT HIM FLIRTING WITH ME IN THE HOSPITAL THOUGH?”

I have tested both of these personally multiple times and they have always worked for me, but again: see my warning about different platforms at the beginning of this post. If it doesn’t work for you, please let me know.

If you have not romanced Kaidan previously: don’t buy him the alcohol as a present. That’s it.

If you have romanced Kaidan previously: on Mars, tell him your relationship is over. It is a renegade dialogue option, but it is necessary to avoid the flirtation in the hospital. This route also means that you can buy him the alcohol and he will still not flirt with you.

Please note that going renegade on Mars does not lock you out of his romance. It merely prevents him from assuming you’re interested during your hospital visit.

ME3 BONUS: “OKAY, WHAT ABOUT HIS APOLLO’S PROPOSITION THOUGH?”

This only happens if you have not locked in your romance with your preferred love interest first. For Garrus, this is the bottle shooting date. For Tali and Traynor, it’s inviting her up to your cabin. For Liara and Miranda, it’s her Presidium date. So on and so forth.

This means there is no way around it if you romanced Jacob or Thane and do not want to pursue a different romance after them. If you do get this scene: again, just turn him down. It is never brought up again. He does not act like he’s in love with you going forth. You will get his unromanced date in the Citadel DLC, as well as his unromanced London goodbye.

ASHLEY

“I WANT TO AVOID TRIGGERING IT ENTIRELY, WHAT DO I DO?”

Ashley’s romance can be triggered after the first main mission has been completed. For many players, I imagine this is Therum, but it really doesn’t matter which mission it is.

Ashley will prompt the conversation, as she will for every other post-main mission conversation so long as her romance remains active. This conversation will be about her concerns about the aliens aboard the Normandy.

Note: Ashley has one less opportunity to avoid triggering her romance in the first post-main mission talk compared to Kaidan. You may also read the conversation in her transcript if you find it easier to follow along, though I have done my best to format this post as cleanly as possible.

ASHLEY: Commander. You have a minute to talk?

SHEPARD: (You can choose whatever dialogue option you want. It makes no difference yet.)

ASHLEY: I know things are different aboard the Normandy, but - I'm concerned about the aliens. Vakarian and Wrex. With all due respect, Commander, should they have full access to the ship?

SHEPARD: (Again, you can choose whatever dialogue option you want. It still makes no difference yet.)

>FIRST CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

ASHLEY: This is the most advanced ship in the Alliance Navy. I don't think we should give them free reign to poke around the vital systems. Engines. Sensors. Weapons.

SHEPARD (Side - You're out of line!): That's enough, Chief. You always second-guess your superiors?

ASHLEY: Sir! No, sir! I'm sorry. I was out of line. I'll get back to my duties, Commander. (The conversation will end and her romance will not trigger.)

If you do not pick the above option, Ashley will elaborate her stance further until you get to the dialogue wheel with the second (and final) chance to avoid her romance.

>SECOND CHANCE TO AVOID THE ROMANCE<

ASHLEY: My family's defended the Alliance since it was founded. My father, my grandfather, my great-grandmother - they all picked up a rifle and swore the Oath of Service. I guess we just tend to think of Earth's interests as our own.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Just shut up.): I expect you to keep your family politics to yourself, Chief. The mission will be difficult enough without you picking fights with aliens.

ASHLEY: Aye, aye, Commander. (The conversation will end and her romance will not trigger.)

Note: You can still pick the investigation dialogue options that discusses her service and family history. You just have to pick the renegade dialogue option outlined above afterward, instead of any other option.

Like with Kaidan, you do not get any renegade points for picking this option and Ashley does not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

Here is an easy way to tell if Ashley’s romance remains active. Conversations between her and Shepard will end with the following:

SHEPARD: We'll talk later, Williams.

ASHLEY: Looking forward to it, sir.

“I’VE ALREADY TRIGGERED IT, HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS?”

Admittedly, you have fewer easy opportunities to end Ashley’s romance than you do Kaidan’s, and most of the early game ones require Liara’s romance also being active. You are still offered multiple different opportunities out before the game ends, however.

If Ashley and Liara’s romances are both triggered, you will have an opportunity at the beginning of Ashley’s second and third post-main mission talks to end the romance. The gist is the same as Kaidan’s: You can’t go wrong with choosing the renegade dialogue options. This is always the dialogue option that will end her romance. You are almost never going to end her romance with a paragon or neutral dialogue option. She will always prompt this conversation by bringing up your relationship with Liara. Once she does this, just shoot her down.

Again: you get no renegade points from this. She will not treat you negatively in the ensuing post-main mission talks.

In both the second and third post-main mission talks, the conversation will go something like:

ASHLEY: Surprised to see you here, sir. Thought you’d be chatting up what’s-her-name. T’Soni.

SHEPARD: (Pick the neutral or renegade dialogue option here; they both lead to the same dialogue branch.)

ASHLEY: Scuttlebutt says you’ve got a bit of a thing for her. I could understand why. The crew’s off-limits, with the regs against fraternization. And at least she looks like a woman.

SHEPARD: (Pick the neutral or renegade dialogue option here. They both end the romance.)

One of the easier exceptions to this that doesn't require Liara’s romance being active is in the second post-main mission talk when Ashley gets Sarah’s vid-mail. It will go like this:

SARAH: - Oh, before I go. You said you’re serving with Commander Shepard now? We saw him on the news here. He’s cute! Later, sis.

ASHLEY: Tell me you didn’t hear that.

SHEPARD (Renegade - That’s unprofessional.): I don’t need to tell you it’s inappropriate to gossip about how “cute” your commanding officer is.

ASHLEY: No, sir. You don’t. Sorry about that. It won’t happen again. (Conversation and romance ends.)

Please note, however, that this will lock you out of the remainder of the conversation and you will not learn about Ashley’s family.

If you have repeatedly not broken off the romance with Ashley after a certain point and Liara’s romance is also active, it will trigger the love triangle scene. This is one of the last points you have to break off Ashley’s romance, but it will lock you into Liara’s romance instead. If you are wanting a no-romance run, I recommend choosing one of the other options instead.

There is also a separate way to end the romance outside these three opportunities. In the third post-main mission talk, you must pick the dialogue option that triggers the argument that can “paragon” Ashley’s opinion on the Council. You must not choose the charm or intimidate option here, and you must then pick the renegade dialogue options. The conversation should go something like this:

ASHLEY: But hey, once we save the galaxy, maybe the Alliance will get its act together. Start acting like an actual government.

SHEPARD (Paragon - The Alliance is all right.): The Alliance isn’t perfect, but it does well enough.

ASHLEY: Have to disagree with you there, skipper. Giving aliens the run of our most advanced ship? Kowtowing to the Council?

SHEPARD (Paragon - It’s not like that.): The Alliance should be able to stand on is own. We can’t. Yet. Why not learn from the races that have been standing for the last thousand years?

ASHLEY: How can you say that, given everything we’ve seen out here? They’re already acting like Saren is our problem. Already siccing us on the bear. The Council races will always think of themselves first. It’s - human nature. We can’t afford to trust them. Not if the survival of humanity is on the line.

SHEPARD (Renegade - I’ve heard enough.): Whatever feelings I might have for you, we have to work with the Council. I can’t let you second-guess our superiors.

ASHLEY: Shepard, I’m a soldier. You’re my commander. If you give me an order, I’ll follow it. I don’t expect you to treat me differently from anyone else under your command. And if you have been - quit it. I thought you knew me better than that.

SHEPARD (Renegade - Do I?): Seems like every time we run up against aliens, you whip out the “Earth first” card. I can’t have my authority undermined.

ASHLEY: I never intended to “undermine” you, Shepard. I believe in you. I wish you’d believe in anyone but yourself. With your permission, sir, I’ll return to my duties.

This argument will end her romance. She will also not be paragoned. This is obviously a much more convoluted way to end her romance, but I’m throwing the option out there because it’s 1) hilarious (that final line, oof), and 2) way more dramatic, if you want to roleplay ending the romance for whatever reason.

MISCELLANEOUS

Like with Kaidan, depending on the dialogue options you take for the scenic view on the Citadel, Ashley will always flirt with you. This does not lock you into, or even trigger, her romance. It is entirely possible to not have her flirt with you at all in this scene, and still initiate the romance later. But if you do not want her to flirt with you, simply do this:

[image ID: ME1’s subtitles showing Ashley saying “Or maybe they just don’t like humans.” with the dialogue wheel below it giving the following dialogue choices, starting from the top: “What’s not to like?”, “Let’s move out.”, and “That’s enough, you two.” end ID]

When you get to this part of the scenic view cutscene, choose any dialogue option but the top “What’s not to like?” one.

Also like with Kaidan, even if you’ve already avoided or shut down Ashley’s romance, Liara will still ask if there’s something between the two of you if her romance is active. Tell her that there isn’t (because there isn’t). Her saying this does not re-trigger Ashley’s romance.

Congratulations, you have now survived ME1’s romance mechanics. Enjoy experiencing unromanced Ashley for the rest of the game.

LIARA

“I WANT TO AVOID TRIGGERING IT ENTIRELY, WHAT DO I DO?”

As I mentioned in the beginning of this post, I have found no easy way around Liara’s romance. If anyone else has, I genuinely mean it when I say I would absolutely be open to you telling me, because I would love to know.

The only way to avoid triggering Liara’s romance that I have found are the following:

Simply not talking to her for most of the game (not ideal)

Completing Therum only after you’ve done at least two main missions (also not ideal since it will require Noveria being completed without her)

Completing Therum only after all the other main missions have been completed (again not ideal, though every player should at least do this once if only for the unique content you get from it)

Okay, so what if you want to complete Therum first but still avoid Liara’s romance? I have found one way to accomplish this, but it requires you to be in a romance with Kaidan (or presumably Ashley, but I have only tested this with Kaidan).

After you recruit Liara, you may check up on her in the med-bay but do not initiate conversation after that. If she prompts you by saying, “I get the feeling you want to ask me something, Commander,” do not pick the yellowed dialogue option:

[image ID: ME1′s subtitles showing Liara saying, “I get the feeling you want to ask me something, Commander.” with the dialogue wheel showing the following options: “Investigate”, a yellowed option above “Investigate” labeled “I’d like to talk about you.”, and “Goodbye.” end ID.]

After you complete another main mission, you can check back in with Liara and speak to her normally. This conversation should be the one you’d normally get after Therum, where you learn about why she likes archaeology and how she finds Shepard fascinating.

After you complete another main mission, you must talk to Kaidan or Ashley first. To clarify: at this point you should be at the post-third main mission mark. For Kaidan, you will be getting the “Vyrnnus and Rahna” talk that you can read in his transcript; for Ashley, you will be getting the “Williams Curse” talk that you can read in her transcript.

After you speak with Kaidan or Ashley, you may speak with Liara as normal. This conversation should be picking up on where you left off last time. Liara will talk about how she’s looked into Shepard’s history and Shepard can press her for why she’s so interested in them. Liara should then say something like the following lines:

LIARA: I admit, your connection to the Protheans had something to do with my initial interest. But it has grown beyond that. My interest in you, however, is strictly professional. I want to make that clear. It is obvious you and Lt. Alenko already have some type of relationship. I would not want to come between you.

Her romance will not trigger for the rest of the game.

Please note: Again, I have only tested this with Kaidan. But it should, in theory, work the exact same for Ashley considering many of hers and Kaidan’s other romance mechanics are identical.

“THAT’S NICE, BUT HOW DO I END HER ROMANCE IF IT’S ALREADY TRIGGERED?”

You will follow the same steps as in Kaidan and Ashley’s portions. When she prompts you with whether or not there’s anything between the two of you, you must turn her down. You can never go wrong with the renegade dialogue options here. Again: you get no renegade points for it, and Liara treats you no differently going forth.

She will also usually bring up Kaidan or Ashley depending on what Shepard you are playing, and mention that it seems like there’s something between the two of you even when you do not have their romance active. If you aren’t romancing the VS, just tell her that she’s got it wrong, because...she does. It does not re-trigger either of their romances.

YES I AM ALMOST DONE TALKING

The game really does give you ample opportunities to avoid or end the romances (which is only fair considering how easy they are to trip), so hopefully I have outlined at least one you are comfortable taking.

There are other ways to end both Kaidan and Ashley’s romance that I did not mention (such as during the locker scene, or if you try to un-paragon/renegade) - the point of no return you mainly have to worry about is en route to Ilos. I imagine most players will have their romances sorted out by then, though, so I’m not sure it’s worth mentioning unless you’re wanting to do it purely for roleplay reasons. (In which case: you may read those in their respective transcripts if you’re curious.)

I cannot say I have tested every single romance cut-off, but I have tested most of the important ones players are most likely to take. I am assuming the romances are cut off based on the fact Shepard and the VS’ farewells will change depending on their romanced status (as I outlined in their respective sections), which I do feel is a safe bet. But if you try one of these and find that it did not end the romance: I’m sorry, and please do let me know (and also what platform you play on).

If you read all of this: thank you for your time, and I hope you find this guide useful!

[dienamights]

A Reverberate Lullaby | K.Bakugou

✎ The echoing howls stalk you, a ghost hunched on your shoulders, wailing like a child calling for rescue, who cries with no tears. Chanting for a hero that is willing to pick up the pieces of its soul and being, yet it is only left to wither. For the ghost has lost faith that such others exist and can only be cured by finding them, for you are the ghost of your world and love is the only true exorcist.

✎ Protagonists: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader.

✎ Word count: 4.1K

✎ Category: hurt/comfort, Implied Mature Content MDNI, Prohero!au, Established relationship!au

✎ Caution(!): Implied Mature Content MDNI, mention of depressive state, toxic family, toxic coping mechanism, mention of reader’s weight gain and thoughts about self worth. Please keep in mind while every person’s reaction to depression is different, don’t belittle anyone’s battle when you don’t understand it.

✎ Author’s notes: Hello! Hope everyone’s taking care! Still on hiatus BUT I’m here to post my contribution to the Mental Health Awareness collab by @doinmybesthere​ ! This has been in the works for a while because I kept scarping ideas for triggering me lmao. This piece is very personal to me and I’m glad I am able to share my experience with you all, I hope that it might help anyone out there in reaching out and asking for help because I know how difficult and scary it might be! Please check out everyone’s contribution that they worked so hard for! kisses kisses take care!

OOH ALSO! Thank you so much for 900 followers aaaaaah! You’re all so amazing and if anyone has suggestions for an event to hold in June lemme know! I’ll also think of some ideas

» Masterlist | Requests | Taglist

The morning sun barely rises and peaks through your blinds, sunshine starting to kiss at your cheeks as you squint at the light, the room welcoming the warmth that is being brought into it after the evening’s chill that made you curl tighter in on yourself, clasping whatever heat you could muster than to turn around and find it in the heating pad of a body that lays next to you. 

An alarm only just rings before quickly being shut off, followed by the creaking of the bed when the person behind you shifts, shifts again, another time, before getting up and stalking to the bathroom, after letting an elongated sigh when they sit at the edge of the bed, not acknowledging your presence accompanying theirs. The door clicking closed before the trickling of water fills the quiet room.

Your clock reads 5 am when you squint at it, and you blink at the time before you go on with your routine, setting up breakfast while your boyfriend gets ready to go to work. 

Oddly enough, you don’t really quite remember when you started working on the food, all that you could see in front of you is nothing but a scene that looks like it’s out of a broken TV - there’s just so much static. The voices are distorted, as if they’re coming from a defective radio.

“Listen, this ain’t about me, this is about you and how you-”

“What about me? Huh? That you see me as nothing but a burden? No, you can say it-”

“You wanna hear me fuckin’ say it then fine! This is about you sitting on yer ass all day obsessing over her while she wouldn’ give you the time of day y/n. When will you fuckin’ realize that?”

The scene blurs and sways, and you feel your mind run at a speed you didn’t know it could muster, and you’re unable to keep up with it. The knife in your hand shakes vigorously and barely misses your fingers when you bring it down to cut the vegetables.

The sound of the bedroom door shutting closed alerts you, straightening your back when you hear the drop of your boyfriend’s gauntlet by his chair at the dining table. Katsuki approaches you with careful steps, his still ungloved hand circles your waist before pressing his lips to your temple, a gruff greeting of a whisper laced in between.

“G’morning.”

The familiar scent of caramel mixed in with his aftershave welcomes you, wraps around you and cradles you, promising everlasting safety and happiness. Yet, your heart wrenching sobs and muffled crash of your laptop against your floor that rings in your ears tell a different story, shrieking at you, roaring about your failures, mocking your entire existence.

“Made gohan, should be ready in a minute.” you mumble back, posture stiff at the close proximity of Katsuki and you feel the curl of his lips in displeasure pressing into your temple from both not reciprocating his greeting and your choice of meal for the morning. “You don’ eat gohan,” 

“s’why I’m making it.” The quick retreat from your figure is like a slap to your face, and you barely stop yourself from reaching out and forcing his arms back around you. Because it's the bite in his voice that halts your movement. 

“You’re still going?” you finally turn to take a look at him, the garnets in his eyes shifting, bleeding from hurt, betrayal, confusion, you really weren’t sure. And by God you had no energy left to try and figure out. “Yes I’m still going Katsuki, they’re my-”

“Yer really listenin’ to the bullshit spillin’ outta ya? This isn’t about em being your family y/n, we’ve been through with it already.” the space between you two feels like endless miles, pieces of the broken bridge you both worked so hard to build the only evidence of it ever being there, the rest crumbling into the valley in between your bodies.

“No, you’ve been through with it, I just wanna make things right, m-maybe I can fix it”

“It ain’t yours to fix y/n, when will you realize that?”

“No!” there you go again, sobbing pathetically. “W-why can’t I have a family, huh? Why- why can’t I, fuck, have a family that just loves and supports me a-and just doesn’t- ” your voice croaks, not failing to notice how Katsuki stepped away from the wreck in front of him. Probably having had enough of you, had enough of how troubling and bothersome you are, probably wondering how he got roped with all your shit and got dragged into your mess of a life.

His hands feel like scolding fire when they’re placed on your shoulders, halting their shaking as you cry into the palm of your hand to muffle the sobs, a habit Katsuki has been working so hard on to help you overcome, saddened to see you try and hide your vulnerability from him.

“Because they never made an effort, so why should you?” The tugging at your heart burns, the swallowed sobs feel like needles prickling at your lungs, making breathing feel like an impossible chore. You can’t help but feel restrained whenever you’re presented with the truth, especially unfiltered and unsugarcoated like right now, you know he’s right, you’ve known he was right a long time ago, but admitting it out loud just felt borderline impossible. 

So you do what you do best, push him away, all the strength you can muster barely budges his figure, the meal forgotten on the counter as you run and lock the bedroom door on yourself.

Your footsteps feel heavy, dreading the topics and scenes you’re bound to relive. The grip on the strap of your shoulder bag tightening as you push the glass door open. A sigh escapes past your lips again as you enter the restaurant, half-heartedly smiling at the hostess before making your way inside to look for them.

It’s always the same scenery, the kind that always makes you want to run away to the other direction instead of being dragged down into whatever hell this is. And you pause to question yourself, again, why you actually agreed to put yourself out there.

There they are, seated in the four person table, with two empty seats, one for yourself and the other for the sibling your mother always hoped to have instead of you.

Your mother’s pursed lip could be seen from where you stand at the entrance, the clicking of her tapping foot sounding as bad as grinding metals in your ear, you hate it, despise it

It’s the same clicking you learned to memorize, to anticipate, to fear, when she passed by your room, the clicking that made you smother your face in your pillows and swallow your sobs, because the sound of you crying brought her more distress and annoyance than concern for her daughter.

With another tug at the hem of the shirt you’re wearing, you approach the table, hugging your father when he stands up and nodding to your mom when she eyes your figure.

“Good morning mother. It’s good to see you.”

“What’s wrong with your hair?”

Here we go, you breathe out before tugging at a strand of hair, spitting out your words “nothing’s wrong with it.”

“Then why does it look awful like that?”

There are times like these where you are left to question your reasoning for accepting whatever invitation you received from your parents to have brunch with them after all those months, a moment of weakness deceiving you into believing it was better than to spend it in your empty apartment, with the silence that ate away at your sanity every second. The only evidence of life in it other than yours was the recently cleaned dishes and the note thanking you for the meal, the promise of cuddles and movies tonight making you gain just a little more patience, barely.

You refrain from answering, your response is to lower your head, drag the dining chair before plopping on it, a dreary sigh escaping your lips as you scoot your chair closer to the table. Your mother never changes, it’s been a while since you were able to move out of her home, and while your father tries to tell you that these brunches are a way to reconnect with them, you yourself know that it’s merely a chance for your mother to nitpick at everything you ever did or are doing since you left.

“How have you been y/n.” your father smiles at you, both of you ignoring the sound of your mother kissing her teeth when her attempted jab at you is ignored. “Uh, I uh I’ve been good, I just wrapped up with my exams and so far things have been-” 

“How is your hero boyfriend?” 

For a second, you contemplate whether to ignore her question and keep conversing with your dad, dreading the questions that are to be pushed your way regarding Katsuki, of which will be used as bragging material for when she meets whatever group of friends she associates herself with, but you know better than to ignore her with the way she gets when she isn’t fed with attention. 

“He’s uh, good.”

“Why isn’t he here today? What, too good to meet us?” your mother nags, and for the love of God, would that fucking clicking ever stop?

“No, he’s doing his job of, you know, being a hero.”

“Is he now? Well, what about you, hm?” She cocks her head as her nails tap the table. ”Did you think your father and I wouldn’t figure out you got fired?”

“How-” the gritting of your teeth is deafening at this point, your jaw clenching so tightly as you and your mother stare each other down. “Your dad pulled some strings, it isn’t that hard. So tell me, you like leeching off of him after you were done with us?”

“This isn’t, I just- I was- I, I had a lot of university work piling up a-and I couldn’t make time for my shifts and I just, it was just so hard for me to get out of bed these days and I.” why are you doing this? Why are you explaining yourself to people that don’t deserve it? Why are you feeding off of their acceptance, knowing damn well you never got it, and that thing was never gonna change. 

“Oh, I don’t wanna hear about you not getting out of bed, you’re here now aren’t you? This is all in your head y/n. You need to stop talking nonsense, what’re people gonna say about you, about me, when they hear you?” 

It feels just like yesterday, your figure standing and facing your full length mirror, your reflection eyeing you with identical vacant eyes. Fingers running through your bed head, a wince escaping you at the movement. Bringing your hand up and catching a glimpse of a slight swollen purple bruise along your wrist and the dried blood on your knuckles, the skin stretching upon rotating your wrist and causing notable pain.

Alas, that pain paled in comparison to when your mom barged into your room, blaming you for the way you were acting and belittling your reasoning. Beckoning your father over to replace your broken vanity and for your house maid to disinfect the space, the place sparkling clean and void of any evidence of what had transpired the day prior. 

The shattered glass was picked up and thrown out, the splatters of blood were wiped clean, and whenever you brought up, what your mom refers to as ‘the temper tantrum’, you’re ignored by both your parents as they continued about their day, fearing the shame it would bring upon their name if the event was to catch others’ attention. 

“Good morning! I’ll be your server for the day. What can I get you?” the foreign voice sounds more comforting than your own mother’s, and you almost laugh at the irony of it, but you only return her smile and take a look at the menu. Lighting up a smidge at the name of one of the dishes, while your parents place their order.

“Can I please get the soufflé pancake?” you look up to catch the horrified look on your mother’s face, followed by her clicking her tongue and shaking her head as if your choice of food was shameful. 

“Certainly-”

“Uh, no she won’t be having that. Get her the Honzen Ryori,” your mother eyed your figure -whatever was visible to her from across the table- before turning to face the server again “maybe cut down on the rice, God knows she doesn’t need the extra calories.” and waves her off, disregarding your protests and tapping her nail against the table top, her annoying method in demanding your silence, which you subconsciously react to, snapping your mouth shut when the sound reaches your ears.

“What was that for? You know I like having sweet breakfasts,” was fuming even close to what you are feeling? Probably not. “Yes I can clearly see that, you’ve let yourself go as well. Do you think that boyfriend of yours will stick around when you start putting on even more weight?”

At a loss for words, you turn to your father, who has been quiet this whole time, for any sense of support when it comes to his wife. But the way he presses his lips together tells you all you need to know, how just because he isn’t bad as her, doesn’t make him that great of a parent. That standing by while you have been bullied your entire childhood and well into your adulthood is just as bad as being the cause of it. 

“God forbid he realizes how much of a train wreck you really are and throws you on the side of the street, because you know damn well we won’t be here to pick you up.”

It began as a whispering in the air. The day had been beautiful -well, as beautiful as it can be with the kind of day you’re having- and the sky was like a dome of plasma-blue. The clouds had looked like airy anvils drifting under the gleaming disc of sun. People quickened their pace as the clouds began to gather in the sky. The postcard-perfect sky started changing. The beautiful cocktail-blue shade merged in with the flaming orange and mesmerizing purple as the sun sunk deep into the horizon, before beginning to darken into gravel-grey. Large pillows of cloud start to form, blocking out the old-gold color of the sun.

The first splatter of rain hits you when you’re halfway across the street, dismissing the need to take shelter under the roof of the buildings like some passersby are doing, hoping to see out the shower. Droplets of moisture begin to drip onto your head, sprinkling onto you like a gardener’s hose. It was well after your meal with your parents, and you had spent the last few hours walking aimlessly through the streets, making sure to avoid those covered by your boyfriend during his patrol. Hoping, praying, that something will clear your head, will help your poor jumbled mess of a mind forget about this entire nightmare of a day.

Should’ve listened to him 

The rainfall intensifies, the drops drumming against the hood of the cars that you pass by, there is so much rain that the sound blurs into one long, whirring noise, reminding you of the blades of the fan that you stuck your finger in, that one time when you were left alone in your house when you were only five years of age. Eventually, they fade into a musical chime as you push your drenched hair away from your face and feel the vibration from your phone as it rings the ninth, maybe tenth time. 

He told me so. 

Tall apartment complex building; you couldn’t see its end from where you stand. You shiver as you approach it, the doorman - bless his heart - running and placing his umbrella to futilely shield you from the rain, and you just laugh and tell him that you’re already drenched and just waiting to go back home.

God forbid he realizes how much of train wreck I am

Not wanting to dampen the people at the elevator and make them uncomfortable, you take the stairs up to your shared apartment, you usually don't mind the exercise but with how heavy you feel after the rain and day spent up on your sore feet, all you think about is locking yourself in your room and discover what kind of new façade could you try and fool Katsuki with when he reaches home.

Just how I trick him into thinking I’m not with him to leech off of him

Eventually and with a struggle, you make it to the door, dreading the sight you might come to face, almost hoping for a black hole to emerge and swallow you whole.

What would people say about me? Do people think I’m crazy?

With a forced exhale out of your lungs, you fetch the key from your bag to unlock the door, but it’s wrenched open before you have a chance to insert your key.

“Where the hell have you been?” 

Your eyes meet the beautiful rubies of Katsuki, and despite his anger that always overcompensates his worry, you smile and throw yourself on him. The shivering ceasing when he wraps his warm arms around you and that loving caramel scent engulfs you, in spite of how your hair is drenching his shirt and how you sniff against his neck.

“You need a shower, you’re shivering.”

“Take one with me?” you look up at him through your lashes, and he blinks at your uncharacterized boldness but agrees nonetheless, helping you out of your clothes and turning on the hot water before stepping in with you.

It is a struggle to help you clean up when all you do is grab at him, whether they’re your hands on his shoulders to lower him to kiss you, wrapping your arms around him and pressing your breasts against him, or palming his hardening cock as the poor man tries to shampoo your hair.

“Would ya knock it off? I’m tryna help you here shitty woman” you frown and squint your eyes when the shampoo gets close to them. “I wanna have sex.” 

“Yea I can fuckin tell, just lemme-” you bring his arms down and press his palms to your boobs, letting go of his wrist when he starts squeezing at them. “Do you not want to?” he gulps, his dick twitching at the feeling of your soft mounds in his hands, your nipples covered up by the suds from the shampoo, as your finger traces the underside of his cock. “Yeah, I uh, fuck, I do, just- you need to wash up so you don’t get sick, alright?”

“Do you not think I’m pretty anymore?” you pout childishly, tears threatening to escape your eyes, and they burn as you close them when he washes the product out of your hair, a deep frown on his lips when you open your eyes back again. “The fuck you on about? That rain really fucked with ya?”

“Are you gonna get rid of me when you realize how much of a mess I am?” you whisper, your voice muffled under the sound of the shower above you, and you keep quiet as he helps you scrub your body, but your boyfriend is observant, he isn’t fucking dense.

“What do you want, right now?” he lowers himself to your level when he’s done, his hands stroking your cheeks as he eyes the way the water droplets cling to your lashes, but still not missing the red rimming around your eyes.

“I just wanna for- I uh, I wanna have sex.” you mumble, a plea hidden underneath your words, a plea to help you forget, to help you bury this day behind you and pretend it never happened.

What you don’t expect is the way that Katsuki pulls your naked wet body out of the bathroom and drops you on the bed, feeling your bodies dampening the bed as he hovers over you, no words are spoken between you as he kisses and nips at your skin. Marking it up and down as he all but worships your body, strands of his hair tangle between your fingers when you run your hands through it, arching your back at the feeling of his tongue tasting your slick.

He doesn’t let up until you cry out, and not in pleasure, your sobs far beyond those he loves to hear when he’s denying you an orgasm. No, they’re sobs that wreck your whole body, kicking away at his shoulders as you curl in on yourself and wail into the sheets. Sitting on his haunches on the floor, Katsuki’s eye soften at your figure, the way your shoulders are shaking and how -yet again- you’re trying to muffle your cries with the sheets this time, pressing your face against the mattress in an attempt to lower your noise, as your mother would call it.

“Hey, look at me” you feel his lips grazing your ear as he kisses it, pressing his lips against your temple, fingers unwrapping your fist against the sheet and digging into your hands and pressing kisses against the nail marks in the palm of your hands. “There she is, there’s my girl.” you hear when you lift your head from the bed, sight blurry from your shed tears but still easy to distinguish Katsuki even between billions of people.

You sniff when he kisses at your lids, groan when he chuckles and calls you ‘snot the naught’ when you wipe your nose with the back of your hand, beaming when he hears you let out one weak chuckle at the way he teases you. Still pressing his lips against any surface of skin he can reach.

“You don’t have to talk about it you know, to me at least” he mumbles to you when you’re both dressed in your sleepwear and are cuddling on the dry side of the bed, opting to change the sheet the next day. “Maybe, maybe we can get someone who can help you, you know.” you press your face deeper between his neck and shoulder, shuddering when his warm palms rub your back from under your shirt. 

“I can make some calls, get in contact with someone.” you lift your head. “But I can’t afford-” he tuts and frowns at you “None of that.” 

“Remember what I said when we agreed to move in?” you do, you just love the sound of his voice when he says it, feels like he’s making all these promises all over again. “Tell me.”

“Told ya I’d be whoever you want me to be, whoever you need me to be. I’ll be yer mom, even better than that bitch, I’ll support and love you unconditionally.” you sniff and tighten your hold against him as he presses his lips against your cheek. 

“I’d be better than yer pussy dad, you can rely on me any time and I’ll live up to all your expectations. And callin me daddy is always a plus” he tangles his legs with your own when you wiggle away from him, laughing and giving you no chance of escape, not that you are even thinking of it. 

“I’d even be yer genius fuckin nanny that taught you to tell yer mom to go fuck herself when you were four,” your suppressed giggles lights him up and he can’t help but chuckle as well. “I’ll be anything and everything you’ll ever need, baby. I’ll be your goddamn hero.”

The sun comes out again, casting slanted beams of light across the buildings. Steam rises slowly from the greenery. It rises up eerily and drifts mist-like towards the molten-gold sun, right before it escapes into the abyss. The image is so vivid that it stays with you for as long as you remember. Because on this exact day, the shrieking that follows you everywhere you go, haunting you and mocking you, suddenly is nowhere to be found. And all you can hear is the comforting sound of Katsuki as he hums you a lullaby to sleep.

aaaah I hope you like it!

[tumblingxelian]

Thanks so much for giving this a look and for sharing your thoughts!

I know whenever you leave a note, answer an ask or a reblog that whatever our respective opinions, your stance will be well thought out & intriguing to say the least!

I won't respond to every section so to speak as I think details and context provided further down address one of the main reasons I made the post initially anyway.

Namely that the rivalry as you described it is not really a 'traditional anime Shounen battle rivalry' where both sides just really wanna kill/beat the other & will settle the score at a suitably dramatic point.

But more that both characters do have similar issues regarding tying their identifies and self worth to their master/mistress in an unhealthy & unbalanced relations. That both respond very poorly to the prospect of that relationship failing for one reason or another, IE Ozpin being shown as a liar or Tyrian feeling he's failed Salem.

That both did invest a certain amount of emotional weight in defeating the other as a form of coping mechanism for other issues. & that thematically & narratively there will be some kind of conflict between them, however briefly.

One that serves to signify that Qrow has moved on from this unhealthy mental space & Tyrian cannot manipulate him.

Which due to the context of the conflict in question will sent Tyrian spiraling, not because "My rival didn't acknowledge me!" but because this specifically lessens his worth to Salem and so is a huge blow to self identity. Causing him to act out.

Assuming I got that right... XD

I think I can see that working.

As it is I am unsure if that is how it will go down but I am also rarely comfortable with making anything but the broadest predications or a more "I doubt they'd do X cos of Y". Still it can certainly work well story and theme wise without undercutting or radically altering either character, so kudos there, very good use of narrative foils.

I have some other rambly musings but they are at most splitting hairs, so feel free to ignore them XD

I do confess I am a little unsure I agree that Tyrian was quite as effected by the punches. Not to say they didn't rattle him, as we agree, Tyrian is supremely arrogant so any blow to him is a major shock that takes effort or a corpse to come back from.

However surprise attacks tend to hut a lot more than one's a character is ready for. Like Neo knocking Yang out on the train or Cinder piercing Vernal, ETC. So I feel Tyrian is more just rattled or otherwise spooked and in a lot of pain, but I am unsure I'd go so far as fawning if only cos stomach blows will make most folks double over XD

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Moving on, excellent breakdown on Tyrian's strengths, I agree. Tyrian is both an incredibly dangerous force combat wise & that lends itself to supreme arrogance. Add in that the Queen of Grimm recruited him and is his patron deity and he's perpetually on top of the world.

Suffice to say there's a reason he could so casually play with RNJR.

I am unsure if I'd call his cackling mania an act, so much as.. Exaggeration. I mentioned this in the original post, but when he started getting overwhelmed by the three on one, he did seem to be legitimately becoming more unhinged and disoriented. So while I don't think he is "Crazy", I do think some of his more unhinged behaviors are more like him turning off the filters, or cutting lose than being totally performative.

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Also yeah great contrast note there between Tyrian 'welcoming the other back VS how he behaves n the meeting. I imagine Watts was also grateful Salem didn't flip the table over him like she did Tyrian XD

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Honestly very interesting stuff regarding Ruby there. I too wonder why he might not hold a grudge. Admittedly based on my read of his character its mostly that he's had time to process it and moved on.

Like he surely was pissed and felt it sucked at the time, but he was already weakened so it wasn't a 'real' loss. Plus, now he has a new tail even got to traumatize her with helplessness a little. Add in that Salem wants her alive and I could see him having processed it over repressed it, but I guess we'll see.

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Honestly, even while a little unsure due to my own read on the character, I do love your outline of his thought processes during V7. It feels very Tyrian to have such elaborate detailed plans and thoughts go by so quickly and in so twisted up a manner as that.

& regardless, he does seem much more relaxed in V8 despite how the plan didn't exactly come together, so I can definitely see how you connected the dots there.

Anyway, thanks again for the response, it made for fascinating reading!

Tyrian Callows - The Master of Murder, Mayhem & Multitasking!

So, I recently saw a post discussing Tyrian Callows and I wanted to go into why I find him quite interesting despite his overall demeanor seeming to be that of a nihilistic serial killer.

Off the cuff, when I first saw Tyrian I hated him, "Oh good, another cackling serial killer, I hope e only exists to die & be replaced".

Then he ambushes RNJR & suddenly, oh suddenly I'm having fun!

Because he's not just cackling & killing, he's bombastic, spewing purple prose and strutting around like he's on a stage, then flinging himself through walls for dramatic poses. He waits after receiving major surprise attacks to reveal they didn't hurt him.

He is in essence, a theater kid who happens to also be a cultist and serial killer and I think that is incredibly entertaining if nothing else.

Beyond that I find his fawning behavior on Salem intriguing. Like, even beyond his failure, when Salem is growing in fury & others like Watts & Hazel know to get the fuck out. He starts irrationally offering her acts of service in a bid to make her happy before fleeing as well.

Like, whatever is going on there is interesting if nothing else, I think.

Then there's the fact he is far more insightful than characters like him are usually written as but, its not at the expense of is manic disposition as it often ends up being with say, Joker, bleh.

What I mean is, Tyrian is very good at analyzing people, what they want, what they feel, what will hurt them the most, what above all drives them & can articulate it very easily. Ala his confrontation with Mercury only knowing violence & being too afraid to leave it.

Yet at the same time when out under pressure by Clover, Qrow & Robyn he very quickly starts losing his cool, his mannerism and behaviors become more unhinged & wild, he is legitimately not all there. & it is isn't until he's had time to cool off in the airship that he's back on his game.

Finally there is his 'rivalry' qith Qrow.

To me the fun thing is that there is zero rivalry on Tyrian's end.

Qrow is just someone who he met in V4 and knew to be a capable fighter & important enemy agent. He was excited to fight & kill him & was briefly knocked off his game when disarming Qrow did nothing to slow him down.

Most Hunters based their fighting styles on their weapons so disarming them tends to be a winning move unless they are Hazel, Tyrian or Yang style combatants.

But he was back on his game in short order and still having a great time and even managed to essentially score the win... Right until Ruby dismembered him & he did not take it gracefully.

To say the least, Tyrian is definitely arrogant, I think that much is self evident.

It makes sense, it took a cooperative operation of Mitral Hunters & Atlesian Specialists to take him down. The Queen of Grimm came to collect him herself. His Semblance lets him take Aura out of a fight. & by all accounts he definitely seems to be among the most dangerous combatants on Remnant even without said Semblance.

So yeah, not surprised that he was both knocked off his game & angry about the injuries but after that he doesn't seem to dwell on them much the way Cinder spent several volumes seething over the damage Ruby did to her.

His little foreshadowing moment to Ruby before the election massacre & enjoying Qrow's suffering during Volume 7 very much seem like things he'd have done regardless cos he's just like that.

Tyrian will however exploit the idea of a rivalry to his advantage.

What I mean is, Qrow makes it clear when ambushing him with Clover & Robyn that he holds a grudge over their last fight. Tyrian doesn't utilize that in the three on one beatdown he gets, he's barely keeping his head above water most of that fight.

But once he is back in the game he's cheerfully egging on the break down in the Atlas and Mantle alliance. He's completely ignoring Qrow until the man jumps on him & even then doesn't offer him any unique attention.

Its only once he's established that things with Qrow and Clover have degraded as far as they have that he jumps in. He avoids starting off too violently to see how things go & is well pleased by Clover's dogged commitment to his orders.

Also likely dismissing Tyrian as just a violent lunatic.

It is then and only then that he leans on the idea that he actually wants a rematch with Qrow. But even then he still patiently waits for Qrow to float the idea first. He is playing into Qrow's grudge & Qrow's belief in a Shounen style rivalry & with it the belief that Tyrian will ignore Clover themoment he is not interrupting the fight and duke it out with Qrow.

But Tyrian only plays along with that and instead uses Clover's defeat to end his fucking life and frame Qrow for it.

He certainly has fun twisting the knife but again, this is stuff he does with everyone when he gets the chance. & it serves to make things more complex for Atlas and the now rebellious heroes than it would if Clover & Qrow had died together. Especially as enemy reinforcements are coming.

After this, again, neither Qrow or Ruby warrant a mention from him.

This is his job, they were parts of his assignments and Tyrian just happens to love what he's doing. Which humorously aligns very well with the life advice he gave Emerald and Mercury. Even if that was just because he thinks it'd be fun to be given the chance to kill them.

Anyway those are my takes on Tyrian Callows, evil as fuck, but smarter & more interesting than the usual portrayals of his archetype!

Thanks for reading!

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E131 (March 30, 2021)

Tonight’s guests are Liam O’Brien and Sam Riegel!

Brian points out that a lot of Caleb’s greatest fears have come to pass. Liam: “It’s funny, because he’d kind of believed for a while that those things weren’t going to happen. After a while, he got complacent.” He notes that it was extra wild because everything with Trent popped up again in the midst of that complacency. And how did it feel to be defiant toward Trent? “I think Trent successfully made Caleb question if Caleb really was in control“ at the dinner party. “I feel like anything that I do is part of his plans for me, or is that just gaslighting? I’m legitimately scared of that dude.” Sam: “Of Matt?” Liam: “Sure.” He highlights the disconnect between knowing that the M9 is mechanically powerful and could possibly defeat Trent in a dice-and-stats battle, versus fearing him in a story sense and being convinced he can do almost anything.

Sam, on Luc’s death: “That was brutal, man. Matt Mercer is a-- he hates children! Clearly. He actively sought to kill a child in the campaign in as brutal a way as possible. He hates children and wants them dead. Canon. No, but to RP, that was horrible.” He highlights that so much of Veth’s arc has been about trying to get back to her family. “We had to choose something and we thought we were making the right choice. It was all Veth’s fault, and it was pretty rotten. My heart was beating pretty fast, and I certainly didn’t want to have my son die live on the stream. I don’t know what Veth would have done. That’s the end, that’s over. It’s almost worse than when your own character would die. This is something that would also kill Veth.” After the episode was over: “just shaken. I also didn’t know what to do next! That felt like a turning-point moment for my character, weirdly so close to what we assume to be the end arc of this campaign. I texted Matt later that night and was like, that’s it, Veth’s out, I’m tapping out.”

There’s an interlude in which Sam discovers a new dream to record an episode of this show from his Peloton. Dani informs him that she will not be inviting him back.

On Astrid, Liam: “I literally don’t know what she’s doing. I know that she’s dangerous, she always was ambitious, and there’s not been a moment where Caleb let his guard down with her. He’s not trying to reestablish what they had. He cares for the both of them, for Astrid and Eodwulf. He thinks about it a lot, still. He can’t tell how much she buys into everything that she experienced and is now living as a full-grown adult. He suspects that she’s bought in and is not going to change things, because she believes in the system, as much as he’d like to peel her away. He does believe that they want what’s best for the Empire, and stopping whatever wants to come vomiting out of a hole in the frozen north is good for everyone. And they’re powerful. They’re not trustworthy, obviously. But there’s enough at stake to make it worth it. He could imagine a situation where they fight each other to the death.” He was convinced Astrid was going to stop them when they left the tower and was really shocked when she held back. Sam: “Not me! I’ve trusted Astrid since day one. She’s the greatest! I sent a letter to her, she’s very nice, I think you guys would be a nice couple. I believe every word she says.”

On having to decide on Veth deciding to go off and save the world after Luc’s death. “Like I said, I was ready to be done. And then I decided somewhere in there that that’s not very D&D. So I thought I’d leave it up to somebody else, so I asked Caduceus to decide for me, essentially. She knows she’s putting her other family in danger if she doesn’t go. It’s an impossible choice, you know?” Liam: “I love watching you grapple with it, because you’re a lovely father and love your kids.”

On the Sanatorium, Sam: “That was brutal, man. Matt lulls you into a sense of complacency. We’d forgotten that Caleb was a stone-cold killer! It had been a while since he went on a murder spree. Still got it!” Liam: “I never meant for this character to be perfect sunshine.” Brian: “You don’t say.” Liam: “He’s very not-perfect, and I think in his brain, he was going in with the impression that they needed to get in and get out as soon as possible. The place is crawling with people with magic ability, and I didn’t have faith that we wouldn’t be sussed out or something wasn’t going to blow an illusion.” Everything was about getting out of there as fast as possible.

Did the conversation with Yeza help with Veth’s decision? “First of all, every conversation with Yeza is a beautiful one. Every time she talks to Yeza, it makes her feel good. In some ways, she’s gotten to the point now where she knows Yeza’s going to be supportive, she knows he’s going to allow her to do what she wants, but maybe that’s too much. Maybe she needs to not listen to him, basically, and be like, no, you need to be selfish now, dude, you need to say ‘come home, I’m sick of you leaving’. At a certain point, being supportive can turn into being enabling.”

Cosplay of the Week: Jester in the snow! (liljerbear47, photography by kairiceleste on Instagram)

On Trent’s motivations for chasing Caleb: “I really don’t know. The simplest explanation is to just hammer down the nail that’s sticking up. It has crossed his mind that all high-level wizards are in danger of their own ambition and egos, so it’s occurred to him that Trent might have the same kind of ideas that Halas had in the past, and maybe Caleb was always meant to be another body to jump into. Maybe in some sick, disgusting, twisted way, he wants him to be his successor. I am thinking of the next campaign, without getting too deep in, trying to do something that is much more ride-along. Caleb is very, very specific, and I thought long and hard about all the different pieces on the chessboard for him. For campaign three, I’m looking forward to seeing what happens.”

Dani: “Do I need to be keeping lore on your fucking ads?”

On the cursed dagger: “It was a tricky one, because in campaign one, one of the characters was under the influence of a cursed weapon, but it interacted with him and he knew what it was and what it did. And it affected his gameplay as a character. For me, Veth didn’t know what it was, ever. I as a player knew what it was doing, but Veth didn’t know at all. So it was kind of like my dirty, dark secret for many months. I knew this thing was coming perilously close to killing me, but my character didn’t know enough to bring it up to her friends. Nobody ever asked! So I was like, well, I guess this thing’s just going to kill me one day, and it’s kind of going to be a surprise.” Liam: “Sam, you love danger and self-destruction so much, you might as well be Mollymauk.”

On the fight in Yasha’s sequence, Sam: “You gotta put a character in your storm giant creature. It was so fun! It was so great of Matt to involve us in this encounter. It would’ve been fun just to watch, because Matt would have made it amazing and Ashley was sweating bullets, which is always fun to watch.” Sam notes he felt guilty, but Liam was going for the kill. Liam: “Matt’s gotta be careful about giving me that kind of story beat. I do not fucking care, I just fucking flip, I’m like, well, I’m going to destroy you, and I have no qualms about it. It’s too much fun!”

The Beau/Yasha tower date was in part inspired by not being able to give gifts as easily this last year. “This thing that we do together is a gift, but I love finding these moments, like the book for Jester and the tower for Yasha and for Beau. I really just wanted to give both of them a little magic for a night. I wanted them to leave this-- we’re trying to be as entertaining as possible, but shit is having an effect on all of us too, and I wanted them to have an escape, a great place to escape to.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot, plus Marion, Yeza, and Luc! (vocaz on Twitter)

On choosing Essek over Trent, Liam: “It would have been so interesting and awful and great! Essek and Astrid and Eodwulf are everything that Bren used to be attracted to that are terrible for him. Essek, hopefully he can with time find a way out of the hole that he dug himself into, but it was only two months ago where he was found out and his ambitions came crashing down around him. Long-term, I have high hopes for him, but I think it’s going to be hard.” In contrast, Astrid and Eodwulf are still “deep in the shit. It would have been really hard to navigate, but fun to play at the table. We made the right choice with what we went with. Essek’s just getting started, and Caleb doesn’t trust him entirely, because he was burned so hard not too long ago. He’s still more trustworthy than the other three. So it’s the better choice. While Caleb has all these ties on the other side, they’re really fucking dangerous. So if you have to choose, you choose Essek. But fuck that die.” Sam: “Veth, much like Sam Riegel, makes instant decisions about whether to trust someone or not and sticks to it forever. Astrid, 100% trust. Eodwulf, 100% distrust. Essek, completely distrust. I still don’t think he’s a good guy. Ikithon? Trust. 100%. Because you know where he’s coming forward, you know what he wants. I still want him dead, but I trust him.”

On Veth’s post-adventuring plans: “Veth is probably still too in it right now to think about what comes next. I, Sam Riegel, have a good idea of what I want Veth to do post-campaign.” Brian: “Maybe you shouldn’t tell us. Save it for the show!” Sam: “All she knows is she can’t do this anymore. It’s very unhealthy to be battle-wounded every other day. It’s fun for a while, but college has to end at some point, and she’s gotta go home.”

On Frumpkin changing appearance and returning to the Feywild: “I don’t know what I’m going to do, but the way it feels now for Caleb is that he feels too enmeshed in everything that has happened, and too much good has happened, and too much needs to happened, that that really narcissistic, selfish goal has the risk of harming everything else, which is more important. And that’s how he looks at it now. So he’s gearing towards letting everything from the beginning of the campaign, and where he started, go, and trying to figure out what use he’s going to be now and what he’s going to do if they’re not all dead. If Matt throws that shit down, I don’t know what I will do, I think about it a lot. But turning Frumpkin white and saying you’re free either way is him preparing to let go of everything he’s been holding on to for a really long time. He’s addicted to that idea that he can fix himself, and we’ll see if that hard choice gets presented, what he might do. But where he stands now, he doesn’t think that’s going to be reality, and he sees a way that he can be of use that he never really anticipated before, so he’s slowly shifting gears towards living with the pain he was trying to remove.”

On the last request scene and confidence heading into Aeor, Sam: “I feel like that’s a good request. I think all of us realized that if we die, that probably bodes badly for the world. I feel like all of us are at a point now as characters and as friends, that the first order of business would be to take care of everybody else’s shit, although we probably have different ideas of how to do that.” Liam: “I want the Empire to be healed, Caleb has all these memories of his parents and what they wanted for the world, and he wants that too. It’s clearly not in place now, the system needs to be broken and replaced. That could be a part of Caleb’s sunset. I don’t want Caleb to die, so maybe he can work on that after. As everything starts to shake out and we start heading towards our destiny, Caleb’s just free-floating. He’s not even going after the same thing he started for. So he’s looking at Veth’s family, and Luc specifically, and seeing that’s me, that’s a little boy in the Empire.”

[sokkastyles]

Abused kids are often not aware of or have trouble regulating their own emotions but tend to, conversely, be hyper aware of and tapped into the emotions of others. This is a survival mechanism in people who grow up with an abusive parent, because any sudden changes in the mood of the parent could indicate danger. See the scenes of Zuko when he is with Ozai, particularly in "The Awakening" and in the flashback to the war meeting in "The Phoenix King," when Zuko carefully measures his responses to his father's praise, because even accepting praise is dangerous and could be a trap.

Although Zuko is often oblivious in social interactions, he actually shows a pretty keen insight when it comes to mediating and understanding what the others need once he joins the gaang. He figures out that the loss of his firebending is connected to his change of coat, he helps Aang overcome his fear of fire at the same time he overcomes his own mental blocks with regard to his element, and he realizes that Sokka will go on a foolhardy mission to rescue his father no matter how much Zuko warns him that it's dangerous, so he resolves to go with him. Particularly in "The Southern Raiders" he pretty astutely figures out that the source of Katara's anger was her unresolved feelings about her mother's murder, and knew how to help her. He also shows keen insight into what Katara needs. Aang, though he means well, responds to Katara with moralizing that just makes her angrier and more determined to go her own way. Zuko offers her the means and lets her lead the way, and defends her to Aang after Katara had made it clear she did not agree with Aang. Zuko, in fact, gets angry at Aang on Katara's behalf, and interestingly, Katara, the person who regularly told off anyone who ever said a bad word to Aang and who, a few episodes ago, threatened to kill Zuko himself if he ever hurt Aang, says nothing in response to Zuko’s sarcastic words to Aang, only thanks Aang for understanding in a tone that implies that she doesn’t think Aang understands at all.

Zuko also seems to be aware of the tension between Katara and Aang at the end of the episode, as he purposefully leaves Katara on Ember Island and goes to speak to Aang himself about what happened when they confronted Yon Rha. This implies not only that Zuko knew Katara needed space to process her feelings, but that he knew that Aang and Katara would need time away from each other after the angry way they parted, and it also implies that Zuko wanted to explain Katara's perspective to Aang, fearing that Aang would misunderstand. Aang actually misunderstands anyway, wrongly assuming that Katara had forgiven Yon Rha, and Katara angrily tells him that she will never forgive her mother's murderer, but does forgive Zuko.

Zuko tells Aang that he was right about Katara, although that is contradicted by what Katara just said and the events of the episode. I know some people theorize that this was a result of a lack of unity in the writing, but I also don't think it's out of character for Zuko to say this, even though he also ultimately disagrees with Aang's stance on violence. Zuko is again playing a mediator role and playing both sides a bit, because the episode positions him between Aang and Katara, but he also leaves Aang with a challenge to his moral absolutism.

So I don't think it's a stretch to assume that in the very next episode, Zuko was also picking up on some tension between Aang and Katara when he sat between them. I'm not sure he knows about Aang's romantic feelings for Katara - although he would when he hears his actor on stage call Katara "the Avatar's girl" and sees Aang nod. But he does seem to pick up on Aang's irritation being about more than just a taken seat, as he responds with unprompted anger. Zuko also takes note of Aang’s increasing anger throughout the play, with a concerned expression on his face. 

Remember what I said about abused kids being hypersensitive to the changing moods of others? It might be that, or Zuko might be feeling anxious about his role in the play and feeling like he doesn’t deserve forgiveness, or it might be that Zuko is hyper aware of the conflict between Katara and Aang carried over from the last episode to this one.

Actually, this shot is particularly interesting because the rest of the gaang is laughing at the portrayal of Toph, including Katara, until Toph shows that she’s pleased by the play’s portrayal of her. Then we see Katara frown, her attention shifting to Aang. 

Katara is unhappy that her attempt to get even with Toph backfired, then when she notices Aang as the camera pans to her left, she looks even more unhappy. Then we see the shot above of Zuko looking at Aang with clear concern over the situation. I’m pretty sure that Zuko is aware that something is going on between Katara and Aang at this point. Especially since Aang’s anger at being played by a girl (which is made worse by Toph’s happiness at being played by a boy) is linked to his insecurity about his relationship with Katara, and the play keeps making jokes about it, meant for us to feel sorry for Aang for being put in the “little brother” zone.

I think Zuko was generally anxious going into the play. You can see when they walk in that he has his hood pulled up, to hide his face, because he's aware there's a chance someone will recognize him. So even before the play starts, with its incriminating and humiliating portrayal of him, he is probably already on alert and wants to draw as little attention to himself as possible. Aang's outburst is the kind of thing that would draw attention, and Zuko tries to minimize the attention by insisting that Aang just sit next to him. Zuko also reacts with defensive anger, as he is wont to do when he is anxious or upset, which of course would have the opposite effect from drawing attention away from them. But Aang acquiesces in frustration, and Katara, interestingly, notices the dispute, but just like when Zuko defended her to Aang in "The Southern Raiders," says nothing. Katara also is facing away, fidgety, and looks unhappy while the confrontation is going on. This is also consistent with (and probably contributed to) the way Katara reacts to Aang’s pushiness and accusations later on.

Zuko spends much of the back part of season three physically close to Katara, which is a visual way for the animators to show how close they have grown. It’s not necessarily an indication of romantic Zutara, although there is nothing wrong with interpreting it that way, and I find it hilarious how threatened some people are by shippers gushing over the idea that he wanted to sit next to her, particularly in this episode because this episode actually intentionally plays up the “love triangle” for the purposes of getting the audience to sympathize with Aang and root for him to “get the girl.” Regardless of whether we interpret it in a romantic context, I think it is a good indication of how Zuko feels about Katara once he has gotten her forgiveness. Given Zuko’s social ineptitude, it would make sense that he would be likely to want to stick close to the people he felt closest to, especially in situations where he is surrounded by potentially hostile strangers. Witness his behavior in “The Beach,” where he spent most of the time awkwardly glued to Mai’s side and it was when he was separated from Mai at the party that he ran into trouble with the other partygoers, who make fun of him. That might explain why Zuko, although he comes from the opposite direction when they enter the theater as everyone else does, walks all the way down the end of the aisle to sit next to Katara. 

It might also explain why he wants to sit in between Katara and Aang, as these are the two people who he now feels closest to. It also is very likely that he is subconsciously picking up on the tension between Katara and Aang, which comes to a head later in this very episode. It’s worth noting that Zuko is often positioned physically between Katara and Aang throughout this episode, which is meant to communicate to the audience Aang’s anxiety over Katara not returning his feelings (and Zuko plays an indirect part in that, or at least, his stage actor does).

Zuko is also positioned narratively between Aang and Katara as a mediator and comfort to Katara after her fight with Aang in the very next episode, “The Phoenix King,” in which Zuko tells Katara to let Aang figure things out for himself when he runs away after yelling at Katara.

So no, I don’t think the deliberate positioning of Zuko in between Aang and Katara is a coincidence, nor is it “lol Zuko is clueless!” I’m actually very tired of seeing people talk about how clueless Zuko is, especially since a lot of his reactions come from trauma. Even if Zuko didn’t pick up on Aang’s romantic feelings towards Katara he very obviously picks up on and reacts to and interacts with the dynamic between them. And it’s very telling that certain fans will complain about the “infantilization” of Zuko when it’s traits that make him seem sympathetic, but then talk about a traumatized abuse survivor as if they’re completely incompetent.