#It's all the more notable considering the fact that she never had a son

[wonder-worker]

Angelberga was a peculiarly prominent personality in manifold aspects of European politics [in the late 9th century. Born to the Supponid family of Italy, she married Emperor Louis II and had several opportunities to establish her position as an active and controversial player in the vicissitudes of her husband's reign]. She acted as Louis's regent, accompanied him on expansionary military campaigns in the south of the peninsula and represented him at [congresses, tribunals, and diplomatic negotiations]. Strikingly, she was also the beneficiary of a spectacular collection of charters. Almost one in seven of Louis II’s extant charters were issued in her favour. Angelberga’s conspicuous exploits in the field of charter acquisition did not diminish after the emperor’s death, and this helped her to maintain a position as a key power-broker in Italian politics, control of land [particularly monastic foundations] being a fundamental building-block of power in this period. In the interregnum following 875, during which Charles the Bald of West Francia and Karlmann of Bavaria fought to claim the succession to the heirless Louis, Angelberga herself conducted the negotiations and decided the loyalty of a major sector of the Lombard political community. She maintained this high profile until her death [having supported her son-in-law Boso's quest for power, endured a temporary exile, maintained the support of Pope John VIII, and founded the monastery of San Sisto in the city of Piacenza, where she probably ended her days sometime before 891].

-Simon MacLean, "Queenship, nunneries and royal widowhood in Carolingian Europe"

[starseungs]

from the past, beyond the present, and into tomorrow. ksm. ( teaser )

kim seungmin x fem!reader — following the last wishes of her beloved grandmother, y/n finds herself moving back to her family's hometown. deep into the countryside and miles away from the bustling noise of the city, the change was supposed to be a new experience. that was, if only the mayor's son didn't bring along years of unknown familiarity with him.

GENRE/S — drama, slight angst, slight fluff, just sentimental, soulmates au, multiple lifetimes, high school au, a slowburn • teaser: 2.1k words (10k+ overall fic)

WARNING/S — y/n gets referred to with she/her pronouns, setting is heavily influenced by japanese environments (but still made vague enough for other preferences), main characters are aged eighteen, possibly more to be added upon release.

NOW PLAYING — tracing that dream by yoasobi

( ✒️ ) this is the product of seungmin covering one of my favorite songs ... now im gonna make him a shoujo anime love interest !!! and yes the teaser is long asf. i, too, am concerned about the total word count of this fic. (road to 20k wc i guess)

( 📌 ) STATUS: UNRELEASED • TAGLIST IS OPEN !

2024 ⓒ starseungs on tumblr. do not steal, repost, or edit.

You had dreamt of a specific scene once when you were thirteen.

At least, you were the one who considered it a dream. It was something you had tried to bury in the depths of your mind—locked away in a tiny chest placed in the furthest corner and behind closed doors. If it were someone else, you knew that they would��ve already exhausted all means to figure out what the dream meant.

After all, it certainly wasn’t every day that you got to dream of something that felt so vividly real to the point you could’ve sworn it was a memory.

But it wasn’t. It could never be.

Why?

Because in no reality could an authentic memory be of a time that shouldn’t even exist yet.

“I won’t ask you to congratulate me,” the vessel you were seeing the world through spoke. In the scenario being played out, you could feel yourself smile warmly. You could only guess why the positive action was contrasted by such a somber tone of speaking. “Never once have your eyes lied in front of mine.”

The sound of joyous laughter that surrounded the area almost felt too jarring to compare to the mood present between what was supposed to be you and another male. He sat completely still, unmoving amidst the dim evening despite your earlier comment. Flickers of embers from the sizable-looking campfire reflected in his eyes, telling of the fact that the absence of a response was not because of a lack of focus but rather his inner thoughts getting swallowed up by the burning flames.

His looks would range him older than eleven. Yet, you didn’t seem phased by it—not even in the slightest. Perhaps this was something you should have expected. The voice that came out of you was notably not one of an eleven-year-old either. So you gave up on the matter.

Instead, you waited for an answer to what you had previously uttered. Even if it was just a simple hum that came out of his mouth.

He let the fire crackle a bit more.

“Does it make me a bad man to say that I envy you?”

The breath that you didn’t even know you were holding escaped your lips the second he spoke. “I’m afraid I don’t quite understand what you mean,” was your reply.

The silence came back for a second. Surprisingly, it didn’t seem as heavy as the one you two had just broken. You watched his movements, almost mesmerized, as he took his eyes off the fire. The concentration only faltered when his sight came up to meet yours. “You’re off to go do greater things over in the big city,” he starts. “And yet, here I am, getting left behind in this quiet town. A place not a single soul even yearns for—where everyone starts off but never stays.”

It was odd. The way you felt your heart race at his words.

To be completely honest, you didn’t think much of what he had just said. You didn’t even know exactly what it meant—both for you and for him. Yet, the sudden spike of adrenaline in your veins told a different story. It was making you feel breathless while also making you tear up.

“You could always come with me.”

He shook his head. Did he just reject your offer? “It’s no use. My life’s responsibilities will still lie here. What would I even gain from leaving this place?”

Another beat. You could care less if it was of silence or your heart. In what seemed like a blink, the environment felt too overwhelming for you to function in. It was almost like you were sinking. Down deep to who knows where.

Though muddled, you tried your best to bring yourself back to the forefront by listening to the variety of other sounds outside the small bubble you two had created. Children running around screaming with laughter, adult men howling with amusement at whatever conversation they were in, and a female voice yelling to prepare the fireworks.

How fun. A celebration right next to a brewing storm. All under the same night sky.

“But,” you forced the words out. “You also have your own dreams.” His eyes softened at the mention. The way your heart shattered echoed a little too strongly throughout your body.

“That’s why I’m letting you go like this.” The young male smiled, making sure to let you know it was only directed at you. “So that at least one of us gets to achieve them.”

Your lips quivered. “Why do you speak as if I’m never going to come back for you?”

Silence again. You were beginning to develop an intense dislike for them.

“That’s just the way the world works,” was the response that came to soothe your growing anxiety. “It doesn’t revolve around a certain person. And it certainly doesn’t revolve around me. Go and live the life you want without any regrets. When the time comes that you’ve done everything you’ve wished for in life, come and find me again.”

A shake of a head.

“I could always just stay.”

A weak chuckle.

“Then, neither of us will be able to grow.”

A clench of a hand.

“What if I take too long?”

A minute passes by. You’ve come to really hate these momentary pauses.

He stands up. “There will be no such thing,” the young male assures you, moving closer only to stop at arm's length. You fought the urge to reach out and hold him. “Even if it takes multiple lifetimes, I’ll always be here. Waiting for you.”

“What if you forget about me?”

The world fell into one last hush. Your well-held tears finally started falling one-by-one, just like the first drops of rain. He sighs at your state, taking another step forward.

“I really don’t think I ever will.” He cups your face gently to look at him. “That’s why to you, who my heart will always choose in every lifetime—”

A loud bang. You watched as the fireworks bloomed into the sky through his glistening eyes.

“—Please live well until you come back to me.”

Hushed whispers filled the room.

You should’ve expected this. No matter the place, all high schoolers were bound to be the same, either one way or another. If you really had to make sense of it, your best guess would be that it was simply human for them to act this way. Universal traits are what makes a species. Perhaps you would’ve found it much more uncomfortable if the students in front of you didn’t find your situation interesting. After all, the genuine interest seeping out of those youthful eyes did make the atmosphere a lot lighter. At the end of the day, you could never actually fault them.

Still, enduring the poor attempts of adolescents trying to keep their curiosity hidden for more than a tick of a clock was harder than you thought. A part of you so badly wanted to believe that it was because this whole ordeal was tiring—bothersome, even. Unluckily for you, your brain knew a little bit too much for its own good.

Next to the classroom’s front door, one of your female classmates drops a pen accidentally. You watched it roll down two seats away, only to stop underneath the chair of a guy who was animatedly discussing something with another that was to his right. The latter enthusiastically reciprocated the conversation; his seemingly dominant hand spinning a blue-colored pen while doing so. You balled your hands, only to release them not even a beat later. They felt slightly damp.

You were nervous.

“Settle down now, class!” The homeroom teacher, Mrs. Cheon, ordered. Like well disciplined soldiers, the students quickly ceased all sound. Their undivided attention made you swallow heavily. “Starting today, we have a new addition to our class. Let’s all listen to her introduction.”

Your eyes almost popped out of their sockets at her order—only barely holding back from painting shock all over your face. This was not the plan you were made aware of. You wanted to protest. Throw a tantrum like a little child at the way she had just thrown you into a den filled with lions with no choice but to fend for yourself. Back in the faculty room, she had clearly stated that she was the one who was going to introduce you to the class. What was the point of asking you all the standard information about yourself if she wasn’t even going to use it?

Mrs. Cheon merely stood there, anticipating for you to start. Her neatly managed fingers were laced together behind her back, presenting the dark purple dress she was wearing in all of its glory. You kind of wished it was brighter; just so you could complain about her blinding you without seeming rude. Now you realized that you shouldn’t have trusted her words in their literal sense. It was foolish of you to believe that all you had to do for your formal introduction was to stand there until you were settled.

You took a discrete, heavy breath.

“Hello to you all. My name is Y/N,” you start off as cool as you could manage. “Eighteen. I just moved here from the city, so I am still in the process of getting familiar with the environment. Please take care of me.”

If you could give yourself a pat on the back at that moment, you would’ve. Unfortunately, you had yet to get a grasp on how things worked around here, so it was probably better not to do anything that would make you stand out more than you already did just by being new. And who even transfers schools two months into their last year of high school? Plus, with their stares so intently directed at you like they were studying a fascinating specimen, you couldn’t lift a single finger anyway. So you settled for pursing your lips instead.

A male student with puffed cheeks from the second row raised a brow at you. You bit your cheek lightly. Great.

“It seems like that’s all for Y/N’s introduction,” Mrs. Cheon says, clearing her throat. You internally glowered at the way she awkwardly moved on. You could only wonder how painful your introduction now seemed. “You’ll be seated next to Seungmin. Raise your hand, please.” She ordered.

To which not one soul followed.

If you had not enforced every single ounce of control you had, you were sure your jaw would’ve dropped to the ground. This was already proving to be one of the worst moments of your life, and yet life seemed way too eager to make it even more unforgettable. Your eyes snapped to the figure sitting on the slot in the back row, right next to the windows.

Granted, you already knew who this ‘Seungmin’ was. It was quite obvious, really. The only other desk free to use in this entire room was the one next to the guy you were currently burning a hole through with your gaze. He was staring out the window without a worry in the world, seemingly lost in his thoughts. His posture screamed relaxation, and anything more than that meant infusing into the wooden chair he was leaning back on.

While normally you would have found this guy relatable, right now you could just wish that he finally acknowledged Mrs. Cheon’s call so that you could now erase your presence for the rest of the day.

Luckily for you, it seemed like your homeroom teacher was also getting impatient.

“Kim Seungmin!”

The male with the same name as the one just yelled out leisurely broke off his staring contest with that one cloud in the sky to give you two at the front a glance. It was then that you finally got a good look at him.

His black hair was cut short, brushed down into bangs, but not enough to cover a notable undercut. Despite his clean appearance doubled by the meticulously ironed uniform that hung on his figure, his face was grim in a way that showed great dislike for the situation. You wanted to scoff at the frown decorating his lips, sending everyone the clear message that he had just been bothered. Fighting off the urge to twitch an eye at the slight scrunch of his nose was proving to be the most difficult challenge of the day.

“Oh?” He reacted monotonously before raising his hand as requested. That obviously meant he did hear Mrs. Cheon. “Yeah, here.”

You grit your teeth, already feeling an overwhelming sense of annoyance radiating out of you. From what it looked like, he felt it too—shifting his gaze from Mrs. Cheon to meet yours. Yet, your eyebrows furrowed as the feeling dissipated the moment your eyes locked.

Huh.

How come he seems awfully familiar?

FIC TAGLIST ━ STATUS: OPEN — ASK OR COMMENT 🫶

@fairyki @hysgf @euncsace @comet-falls @starlostseungmin @ameliesaysshoo @hyunverse @wnbnny @xocandyy @minluvly @moon0fthenight @estellaluna @hanjsquokka @starlostastronaut @soobnny

[bayetea]

there are many things about hazel's povs that have an intensely de-racialized vibe to them (read: divorced from the black girl experience) but I think any black person will tell you that the most obvious sign is the complete lack of attention paid to her hair

like firstly:

she's from the 1930s her hair was definitely getting permed and straightened (it was not acceptable to just wear your natural hair out back then. optics + cultural assimilation/you'll be hard pressed to find photos of black american girls with unstraightened hair in that time period unless they're from like..... harlem)

I do believe that marie was straightening it for her For A Time but then she became more neglectful and stopped so hazel had to do it herself. I'm almost positive that hazel wouldn't have even been permitted to set foot in her school building without straightening it because that's just how much of an expectation it was

ok she comes back from the dead. what's she doing to her hair now bc it's not just gonna be cutesy effortless curls falling over her shoulder no matter what the length is

how does she feel about living in a time period where natural black hair is more accepted (read: more, absolutely not fully)

there are no black people around her At All. in fact she's around a lot of white people on the argo (+nico) so that would probably be giving her some intense feelings of double consciousness (look this term up if you don't know what it means) and that would inform how she feels about her hair

theoretically she ought to be wearing her hair in braids for simplicity's sake but I think it's more likely that she would cling to what she knows (perming/straightening) because it's not easy for a 14 year old girl (PSA hazel is 14.5 in hoo not 13 btw 👍) to go from assimilating to deeply-ingrained white hair beauty standards to just proudly wearing a distinctly black hairstyle all by herself

mind you black women and girls can do whatever they want with their hair and straightening/perming it does not always/have to come from a place of self-hatred or whatever but in this particular case back then straightening one's hair was political And a survival tactic. it was as normal as brushing your teeth. it was enforced through dominant cultural messagings about the Absolute Necessity of conforming to white conventions of beauty. if you don't understand then think of it similarly to how you'd think of 1930s women needing to be perpetually dolled up and modestly dressed in order to be considered "good women" and anyways I'm just saying that this would be a lot to unpack for a 14 year old girl so hazel's probably just continuing to do this impractical thing (straightening her hair all the time) like 60% out of habit and 20% out of shame and 20% she doesn't know what else to do

something something about a missed potential character arc regarding all of this and in general there's so little mind paid to race in hazel's povs which is just ridiculous to me because a black girl from the jim crow era should have at least a few feelings about where she fits into modern society even if that society is camp jupiter. rick demonstrates his capacity to talk about how his characters feel about their race most notably in the kane chronicles so I don't think was too much to ask for. see this quote from an early son of neptune chapter:

^ like....... hazel's feelings of out-of-place-ness are There in the text and important to take note of when understanding her character (note that she's been there for like a year already and she still feels like she doesn't belong) but the emphasis is always put on her Being from a different time or Being undead and is never put on her out-of-place-ness regarding her race as a black girl from segregation times who is literally so out-of-place in this weird post-racial camp jupiter society. it feels like such an obvious thing to consider so its glaring absence really bugs me when I reread her povs and it bugs me when her hair is never talked about by extension because It Matters

you might be thinking "well she had a lot going on and she's not a superficial person maybe she just didn't care what was going on with her hair" and my response is simply that Black girls don't get to "not care" about their hair it is not the same thing as a white person going to school with bedhead it's not the same thing At All (if you aren't black then chances are you've never actually seen what untouched black hair looks like in the morning), especially when it's been beaten into your head for your entire life that your hair is ugly and you have to "do something to it" for it to be acceptable (and again...... she's from the 1930s so that feeling is magnified like 50x over). remember that perpetually dolled up modest 1930s woman I mentioned previously. picture her time traveling to camp jupiter of all places in 2010 and struggling to drop all of her makeup/hairstyling routines and internalized misogyny and conceptualizations of what women are "supposed" to be. this is the kind of fascinating character exploration that we really missed out on with hazel (and tbh regardless of her race she was never believably written as someone from the 1930s. I don't think rick even really tried to be honest)

you might also be wondering "how was rick supposed to know/attempt to portray any of that" and then my second answer is that If you're going to write a character who is not the same race as you then you should do some research and we have the internet now so research has never been easier 👍 this would be especially important to do if that person is a poc from the jim crow era I think! (he could have at least googled black hair 1930s)

anyways what I choose to believe (this is pure fanfiction) is that during hazel's first year at camp jupiter (remember that she was there for about a year before son started) nico would have helped her figure something out after observing her distress over her hair c: like they both secretly watched youtube videos on black hairstyles circa 2010 and then they got attacked by monsters for using a laptop (neither of them know how to use a laptop but he's trying his best for her) but then after killing them he helped her do her hair as something she likes that is easy to maintain <3 (I could also see reyna doing this because she surely knows a thing or two from her spa days)

[v-a-l]

What do you think about Remus naming Harry as Teddy's godfather.

We know because harry is the narrator that he isn't anywhere close to Tonks. And the baby is both of theirs. Why would Tonks want a person she doesn't know to be the godfather of her child???

Is it jkr's favouritism showing once again where she wants to show Remus mending bridges with harry by dangling the carrot in front of harry.

In fact i don't see any deeper bond between them.

Why nit the Weasley parents who have so much experience.or any of the professors from school. Or bill and fluer etc. So many options. Harry being godfather at 17 is the most stupid choice seeing the life he has lived....

Canonically, the scene where Remus names Harry godfather flows very chaotically. Remus comes in, declares he's had a boy they're naming Ted after Dora's father, hugs Harry, asks him if he'd like to be godfather, Harry (who until exactly 0.2 seconds ago was thinking of how Remus tried to abandon his wife before yeeting Harry into a wall a few months ago) is, unsurprisingly, caught off-guard. "Dora quite agrees, no one better-" Remus goes on to state about the seventeen year old being hunted across the country by the deadliest terrorist ever faced by Wizarding Britain. Harry, whose brain finally catches up with him, agrees at long last.

Notably, throughout this entire sequence, Harry still calls Remus 'Lupin' and is, for the most part, surprised because he clearly never expected this. You may argue that Sirius became godfather when he wasn't much older, but the person who named him was Sirius' age, not old enough to be his father. Sirius' best friend asked Sirius to be his son's guardian, Remus and Harry don't have anything close to that level of emotional regard for each other or closeness and dependability. After Harry meets Sirius, it's Sirius he reaches out to repeatedly, and Remus even then, is quite happy to wash his hands off of him. This again, is not Remus' fault. He's under no obligation to look after his dead friend's kid, but it's very clear that there exists no deep and abiding bond between Harry and Remus. They're friends, they exist in the same circles, Harry cares deeply for Sirius and thinks the world of his father, who Remus was close friends with in school, and that's about the extent of their relationship.

So, obviously, Remus naming Harry instead of any adult friend he'd made is quite ridiculous. (This again, brings me to how Remus seems to have stagnated in life. He doesn't seem to have moved on much from the night everyone died, not made any friends despite there being an intervening twelve years before Sirius escapes, he briefly comes back to life when Sirius is around, and falls in love with Dora, but then they both die too. Whilst the fandom talks a lot about how Sirius never got to grow up cause of Azkaban, it never talks about how Remus seems unwilling to move on despite, essentially, not being in prison for entire twenties, but that's a conversation for a different day.)

This is not one of those instances where an oblivious narrator gets something that they always deserved but never really considered, its a clear instance of the author not knowing how tf they're going to deepen this relationship now that Harry and Remus are all that is left from the old Marauders' glory and Harry's family.

Now, I believe, perhaps a bit controversially, that Remus made Harry godfather because that's the closest he could get to making James godfather. It had little to do with Harry, and more to do with trying to reach James vicariously through Harry. Perhaps even an apology for blasting James' kid into a wall for talking sense into him.

Either way, there is nothing in canon that suggests that Harry and Remus have the deep kind of bond that would inspire Remus to ask such a question of him. Again, perhaps the first time Harry ever calls him ‘Remus’ is when he’s dead. And it’s really quite ridiculous that JKR even wrote him in along with James, Lily and Sirius. It’s an undeserved position, but I digress.

Like you said, there were multiple alternatives who would have been better suited for the task, (though I doubt he could have asked his old school teachers, I maintain that Ted and Andy, as grandparents, would have been the best guardians if Remus and Tonks were to fall.) and these alternatives, would have been, if Remus was capable of trying for it, perhaps good friends to him as well. Considering we have no canonical proof of Remus ever uh, making friends in the Order, Harry becomes the default option as Remus doesn't really have anyone else.

[tsarinatorment]

Do you have any headcanons about Michael Yew's mortal family?

*cracks knuckles*

Oh boy do I. I've been hinting at it in a few fics now and it will continue to be mentioned/explored in future fics, but I have an entire thing constructed around his family and I have yet to be able to just dump it all so as you asked so nicely... here goes!

[warning here for abusive relationships and child abuse, sorry Michael]

Okay, so, Michael is the eldest child of one Tracey Ryder née Yew. Tracey is a nurse and does love her son, let's make sure that's out there, she just... didn't always do the right thing, and her husband didn't help (read: she ended up stuck in an abusive relationship, Simon Ryder did not like Michael, Tracey didn't manage to protect Michael).

Tracey and Simon met when Michael was a toddler and that was basically the beginning of the end of Michael's enjoyable childhood with his mother. I haven't settled on Simon's job yet but I'm tending towards cop, which is its own warning, I think.

Michael and his stepfather Simon hated each other right from the start, to the point that when Tracey married Simon when Michael was four, it was unanimous between the two of them that Michael wouldn't be changing his surname to Ryder, instead keeping Tracey's maiden name of Yew.

Tracey and Simon had a further three kids together - Jenny Ryder was born out of wedlock, two years younger than Michael, and then there were the twins Ellie and Andy Ryder two years after that, and then Tracey had one more kid that everyone thinks is also Simon's, called Tommy Ryder (he is not Simon's son, but even Tracey believes he is until he turns eleven and ends up finding his way to a certain camp, but that is a different story and right now all I'm saying is no, he is not Michael's full-blooded brother, and he doesn't make it to camp until a few years after Manhattan).

Simon fully encouraged his own children to pick on their older half-brother. Michael was subjected to much pushing, shoving, hair-pulling etc. from his younger half-siblings, which got worse as they got older and Michael ended up shorter than first Jenny, and then the twins. The fact that he healed unusually quickly was simply considered a bonus by Simon - most bruises disappearing overnight meant there's no evidence, and sometimes it wasn't just the kids doing the hitting.

Any attempts Tracey might have made to protect Michael from this quickly died out against Simon; she made half-hearted attempts to stop her other children when Simon wasn't around, but they listened to their father over her and didn't back down easily.

Michael spent most of his free time hiding up trees, using his size to escape to the highest branches - while he never came face to face with a dryad, the guy in his dreams all the time who was always nice to him and promised he didn't deserve the way he was being treated had suggested he ask trees' permission before climbing, and the dryad of the tree in his back garden was delighted by the tiny demigod child asking if he could hide in their branches and also unimpressed at how he was being treated. Word spread, and trees became safe places for Michael.

Eventually, when Michael was nine, he reached breaking point and ran away - encouraged by the guy in his dreams, who gave him a few suggestions that ended up uniting him with a satyr to bring him to camp. Tracey did try to look for her missing son, but Simon considered it more or less good riddance, figured he was dead in a ditch somewhere, and got the searches stopped as early as he could. It's notable here that Simon never knew that Michael's biological father is Apollo (he assumed his father was a waste of space that ditched Tracey), and while Tracey did, and was also aware of the existence of Camp, it never occurred to her to ask Apollo for help, or to take Michael to camp early, having originally been told by Apollo that kids went there when the monsters started coming for them when they started puberty and didn't realise she could send Michael there earlier - and perhaps there was also an element of selfishness where she didn't want to let Michael go, either, even though it would've been best for him.

They never found out that Michael didn't die then (or, later, what happened in Manhattan). When Tommy made it to camp, Michael was just a name on a bead so maybe he knew the name as a camp hero, but he never made the connection with Michael's surname and his mother's maiden name.

Jenny was the only one old enough to really remember Michael (or Mickey, as they called him) as she grew up, and got somewhat of a reality check when he disappeared, presumed dead/written off as dead by her father. She started acting out in school instead of at home, which caught teacher attention and with their help she grew out of the bullyish behaviour Simon instilled in her (the lack of a target helps, as did the sudden realisation that with Michael gone, she was now the eldest and they'd been taught to pick on the eldest... her relationship with the twins was never the best after that). As an adult, she ended up going into teaching herself (elementary-level) and was well-loved by her students - and made sure to move a few states away from her parents.

The twins were vaguely aware that they once had an older brother who died, but were only five at the time, so they forgot most of the details about him over time. Unlike Jenny, they didn't get a big wake-up call, so while they didn't grow up as bad as their father, they didn't really recognise how bad he was to them as well as their siblings, and even as adults didn't move too far away from their parents.

Tommy was only one when Michael left, and had no memories of him at all. He grew up not knowing he ever had two older brothers instead of one (and then he finds his own family on the other side, and Simon was not impressed at having a changeling child, although Tommy was still a summer camper and came home during the school year. Tracey took the brunt of Simon's wrath over that, despite the fact she never knew Tommy wasn't his until the monsters came. She still never admitted to Simon about Michael's parentage, even after Simon learnt about Tommy's - and hated/was disinclined to believe it - but listened to Tommy's stories of camp with bittersweetness, because she knew Michael would've loved it there, and never knew that he did, in fact, make it).

Michael, for his part, cut his mortal family out entirely. As far as he was concerned, he had no siblings of any sort, nor a step-father, and avoided mentioning his mother whenever he could, too. When he made it to camp, he was incredibly defensive, especially when he discovered he had more half-siblings, given his prior experience with half-siblings, but the Apollo cabin worked hard to welcome him into their family and once Michael finally believed them enough to let down his walls, became the amazing, protective big brother that Simon denied his younger half-siblings of having, although Michael never really let in anyone outside of the Apollo kids.

So... yeah. Not the nicest of backstories for poor Michael, but still one I've spent a lot of time building (and it does have variations depending on my various Michael lives AUs as well - in occasional AUs, Michael and Tommy meet through/because of camp, and in one he actually reunites with Jenny!).

[nemesyaaa]

chit chat talk on my thoughts about momma's rafe with mommy issues, it's clearly messy and long, guys but if you're curious i'm here <33 and why i think this rafe will fear the idea of love / and a big loser with a lot of issues (and why i'm a rafe apologist). nobody ask tho, so feel free to ignore

i really like to speculate on the fact that rafe is a momma’s boy, and i actually think that he has more mommy issues than daddy issues. for me all his attitude, this excess anger, this need for validation and approval, these insecurities, this rage and violence, his lack of consideration/communication and perspective, this inability to think before acting, this madness at the interior comes more from the loss of his mother than from the toxic presence of his father. but is anyone interested?

anyways, I'm still going to confess about it because I need to talk about this. I'm one of those who think that Rafe had a good relationship with his mother, good enough that it affected the person he is today. I'm sure she saved him from all the difficulties, never allowed him to think he was wrong, to face his actions, or to consider the seriousness of what he could do. and as a result, she did not allow him to solve his problems for himself, to see the wrong/bad in his actions.

— he ALWAYS thinks that what he is doing is right, that other people are the problem. rafe never thinks he's the problem. if he has to blame anyone, it will NEVER be him. and this is often the result given by a momma's boy when he becomes a grown man. what i mean is that rafe is not really a pathetic loser, but more emotionally immature, you know? he thinks he is important enough for the world to adjust to his expectations. that there will always be someone behind to save him.

and obviously, that explains one of his notable traits. THE GRUDGE. rafe is a resentful person who doesn't accept being stood up to him whether he is at fault or not. just as he refuses criticism. he responds to criticism and refusal with violence or withdrawal, and this is currently his only way of communication. men with mommy issues don't often express themselves, about what they really think, and most of the time, because we've never let them talk about it. They've gotten used to keeping it inside them until they explode, and when they explode, we know what it's look like. they do not like to hear that they are wrong, nor to hear from others that they have faults. they were brooded by very protective and controlling mothers who made them completely unstable men, and incapable of having healthy relationships, and balanced behavior, by the dependence that they triggered in their son.

— i also think that if rafe will never recognize his wrongs, it is because he is certain that it makes him weak, or that it makes him a failure. and for him, this idea is inconceivable. (rafe + toxic masculinity = match.)

so, unpopular opinion, but i don't think rafe should have a relationship with anyone on the show, it would ruin his character. but in my momma's boy world, I would find it impossible to establish a relationship, or at least HEALTHY, with him. because his opinion on women is rather controversial. I don't see him loving anyone, and if that were to happen, it would be very harmful for him, and for the person. already his vision of women in the series

(even from a sister, well….). men with mother issues are often very dismissive of women, don't care how they can hurt them, often speak very disrespectfully or rudely about them. This does not mean that they cannot have relationships with them, nor fall in love, but only that they have more difficulty respecting a woman who does not meet their high standards. very Freud, but for them, the perfect woman is a woman like their mother (I don't know if you know what I mean.) But momma's boys idealize their mothers, they are the figures who created them, goddesses who are always right and who are constantly there for them. and literally perfect.

so the REASONS WHY I THINK RAFE CANNOT HAVE LOVELY RELATIONSHIPS IN THE SERIES/IN MY MOMMA’S BOY RAFE CODED is because his standards are TOO high and not necessarily respectful towards the woman. If you know what I mean.

he was pampered by his mother throughout his childhood. he expects the same behavior from his girlfriend/wife. This is why he will turn more towards a woman who is not independent, or who has too many expectations on him.

so can you imagine a relationship with this rafe?? you're going to have to deal with a lot of conflicts. because know that you will never be enough for him. there will always be something wrong. and it will ALWAYS, I mean it, ALWAYS be your fault.

rafe will clearly be toxic because he will always need to be reassured, to know where you are, who you are with. and no matter how many times you tell him, he'll need to see it for himself. he doesn't trust you, even if you are his girlfriend, you will have to work hard to have his respect and even his trust. you will clearly have to excel, but above all, don't dare criticize him, never point out his faults. because he will have anger issues, and you will be the one and only or victim.

OH AND SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU but this Rafe will probably cheat on you more than once, and especially with different women, because one is not enough, but above all they will all have different roles in his life. not have the same importance, the same action in his daily life. a man with mommy issues will have cheating tendencies, he may have a woman for sex, a woman for emotional support, a woman completely opposite to his standards. a man with mommy issues, both needs someone, but also needs “substitute” people. “. to be honest dkzdizi, he needs to USE women. I know it's triggering but it's the truth.

so you will have to deal with the void that his mother left, good luck 💀💀💀

SECOND REASON, the idea of a relationship would TERRIFY RAFE. I'm not trying to victimize him, but I really think RAFE would HATE THE IDEA OF A RELATIONSHIP, because he would feel trapped. really. it's too intimate for him.

but at the same time, I like to think that he wants to be loved. or at least to be understood, because I honestly think that even he doesn't really understand what's wrong with him. he acts by instinct. These are his reflexes. and it hurts my heart this need for validation, I think his mother's departure was one of the worst events of his life. because he was never really close to his father. and now he had everything to prove to him. after his mother left, he had to continue to be important, to play a role, to satisfy someone.

but how do we go from a loving parental figure to one who is totally indifferent?

WHY IS RAFE A BIT OF A LOSER IN ANY SORT? oh yes, you also like this confidence that he has, which makes you believe that he is really super mean and terrible? but above all he is someone who is very anxious, whiny and in dire need of validation. sorry but all of Rafe's esteem is literally based on what people think of him, especially ward. (in the first seasons anyway.) he needs constant approval, he needs to be looked at and heard, too bad if people think he's crazy. he needs attention, bad or good.

behind all this rage, he needs to be reassured and to hear that he is a good boy. and speaking of which, i think his mommy issues also explain his conflicted relationship with rose cameron.

and i also have to say that rafe's relationships are based solely on his self esteem, and it shows with topper and kelce. +barry. but mostly with the trio. he needs relationships where he feels privileged and valued. but be careful, I'm not saying that rafe is incapable of creating connections, but who will create relationships THAT BENEFIT HIM ONLY. So the idea of Rafe being friends with a pogue is not impossible, but he would need a reason to trust this person.

MOMMA’S BOY!RAFE is very toxic, because there is no equality for him. for him, it is very clear, men and women are not at the same level. and , it seems like I hate Rafe but I swear I adore him, I find him super interesting and I love talking about him, but I have to tell the truth, because it shows in the way he treats women. he clearly has issues with that. but if I can reassure you, not only do I think he feels superior to women, but to the MEN around him, generally.

in general life he is also very toxic because he is jealous. I told you he was an emotionally immature but above all human loser. that is, people's success clearly prevents him from being happy. what's more, it doesn't help his self-esteem, and it doesn't flatter his ego. support others? no way. the triumph of others robs him of his own glory, his own success. he thinks the world is unfair every time, although let's be clear he is very privileged, but like I told you, this Rafe feels very important

I talk a lot but his mother was the first woman who loved him, who made him understand that he was important, who gave him this feeling of “confidence”. to finish because it becomes very long, we can think that he has no feelings, that he feels nothing, that the loss does not grieve him, but that is very false. on the contrary, he suffers very deeply inside. mommy issues are very serious in men, especially when they become adults and have to face real problems, but this time, all ALONE.

This Rafe is very sensitive and delicate. i actually have a lot of thoughts about this. I'm so curious about the story with his mother, and it would provide so many answers about this behavior. note that I am speculating, and that perhaps this is all false but I like to think so. if you read, thank you very much, it’s a pleasure!!!!😭😭😭😭

[siover]

i may be just gasping at straws here but there is something just. so insane about how the nature of kendall and shiv’s relationship is somewhat cannibalistic. like shiv spitting in his drink and kendall drinking it anyway and the ‘i love you but i cannot fucking stomach you’ and the idea of kendall being the sacrificial lamb in 2x10 + shiv’s ‘can’t eat’ . like the whole consumption aspect of it all.. just wondering if you had any thoughts on it i suppose!!

YES very true. the kitchen scene is a callback to their childhood in more ways than one--it reflects the siblings' relationship with each other and with food and how they're linked (dyou remember the summer of competitive eating disorders:)). its notable that only shiv and kendall say they're hungry despite none of them having eaten dinner, and that kendall is the only one who ends up eating anything. roman licks the cheese as a joke, passes the ingredients to shiv, who actually blends the discordant foods together, and together they feed kendall this drink that is definitely terrible for him. siblings ! no but i do think its an unsubtle metaphor but it works ! kendalls position as the heir has always relied on roman being the weaker dog bolstering his position, on shiv being the baby who will never get it bc shes a girl. and if he wont drink the rest, they'll drench him with it, turn his own promised position against him in jealousy and self interest and a mistaken notion of love

and shiv spitting in it was very much foreshadowing, yeah. i liked how it was a callback to her spitting in kendalls notebook after the "rape me/i'm not the only one," incident during her speech--it was a childish act then, and its one now, and it shows how any attempts at enmity or solidarity come from the same place of shared abuse, of seeing someone better than you see yourself and punishing them for the traits you share. kendall drinking it again reflects how his position will never be untinged by shivs simultaneous understanding as well as animosity. mirror traps real

the way this all relates to the characters' relationships with food is also ofc very interesting. roman doesnt eat at all, he denies his body and sees it as evidence of his failure to be logan's son. he never wanted ceo, it couldn't have been him, dad's death cements the impossibility of the love he craved by which proximity to the ceo position was made valuable at all. shiv admitted she was starving but never ate anything, only asked her mom if there was food. she brings up food only as a move, only as something that can serve her, because to acknowledge it otherwise would be weakness. ofc this is reflective of her relationship with power, and love--she'll bring it up first so she's noted as being aware of the cards at play without showing her hand. but she never actually gets it because when she's said the quiet part out loud, voiced her ambition, there's nothing stopping the quiet parts of her weaknesses in this world from being consumed i.e. her womanhood :) in the end all she can do is acknowledge the fact of her starvation, and spit into the poisonous food bowl while still hungry.

ofc its kendalls bowl she's spitting into. he sees food as fuel, as something that gets him where he needs to go, but never actually enjoys it, and sees such enjoyment as juvenile--we're not at buckley anymore--but his firm belief in rationality and health corresponding to awareness means its another step to the ideal position that doesn't really exist. at the end of the day he will drink the concoction because he considers himself stronger for it. i did a fucking year in shangai, i'm ready, etc

ultimately this is reflected in their choices in the endings. roman says yes first then retracts with shiv. i think hes the one who says shiv has no stomach for admin which is like, him pinning the decision to support kendall as well as the consideration to kill him onto shiv lol. SHIV doesnt have the stomach for admin, and SHIV cannot stomach kendall, and it comes down to the same thing--shiv shutting kendall out bc she's never been able to digest his choices. this DOES relate to pierce ofc and logan throwing up at the breakfast and ultimately waystar being a declining corporation that could never have eaten up pierce. do you see what im saying do you see how it makes sense from this angle that shiv was the only one who ended up still "in," even if only as the ceo's wife. shiv being unable to stomach kendall is the final nail in the coffin--its acceptance of this fact. of the death of waystar, and by extension logan. anyway i keep thinking about how when they all trooped into the kitchen, wet through, kids again, there was never really any real food in the fridge :)

[the-hawkeyes]

The Hawkeyes Blog Character Primer

Hello! Welcome to the blog!

My name is Sandra, and I've been running this blog for a while.

I'm a transwoman in my early thirties, and my big things that I'm into are FFXIV, rp and everything else, sci fi, gundam, big robots, Mecha, Lancer...and Ladies. Lots and lots of Ladies.

So to start, here's a short primer to introduce and give you an idea of what sort of characters you'll see here!

Kiera Hawkeye

The Main Mom. The one that started it all. Kiera Hawkeye.

A woman nearing her 50's, and has experienced a lot in her life. From partying as a youth, to marrying in her late twenties, to having a son. Losing that husband, discovering parts of her she didn't know, and settling down with a newfound wife.

She's settled in her personality, but she's still flirty. Still full of love and life. She loves a nice, stiff drink, a good book, the feeling of fresh dirt under her hands, and holding her wife, Iyrnswys.

Ala Mhigan, and proud of it. Keeps up her figure by being a miner nowadays. Most notably known as the organizer of the Annual Melon Crushing Contest on Balmung !

Tags: kiera tag

Katie Willow

My Warrior of Light. The main character of Final Fantasy XIV!

A woman who started an adventure with a heart full of young naivety and excitement, and got wrapped up in something that she never, ever could have expected.

Still working her out, so stay tuned for more!

Tags: katie tag

Zophia Wheeler

The Best Ass in Thanalan, the Cumtank herself! All self-declared titles~.

A sex worker in her mid 30's, now working at a brothel in Thavnair with help from a friend to provide stability after an unfortunate falling out from her previous one.

Loud, brash, flirty, and always speaks her mind, Zophia is quite the woman! Recently she learned of her families history as powerful Red Mages due to a chance encounter with a long lost aunt. She's been dealing with the fact that she's had a family she never knew.

Luckily her wife (Qahli, another's PC), is there to help her out!

Stephanine Rainteau

Stephanine Rainteau of House Rainteau is one of the prominent Summoner's produced by the Arcanists Guild. Originally from Ishgard, sent to Limsa Lominsa to study arcanima to help with the Dragonsong War.

But through her studies, she changed. Taken under the wing of another powerful summoner, Stephanine was introduced, gradually, to a world that she never thought she would be a part of, but ended up thriving in it.

A selfish woman, a woman of multiple lovers, capable of acts of profound compassion and near heartless cruelty. One may never suspect considering the rather polite and haughty attitude of a noble she wears.

Tags: stephanine tag

And more! Keep an eye out for updates!

[greycappedjester]

Update News

So, I think I can return back to a semi-normal schedule.

Next chapter of Department of Mysteries should be out next weekend and that should mark the return of an every-two-week schedule.

Thanks for your patience. Here's a sneak peak (not edited yet, subject to small changes, etc.):

Ministry Education Changes Report Early Success!

Minister Daishou’s education reforms, introduced at Hogwarts this year, are already reporting progress.

For the last few years, Hogwarts has faced mounting public pressure after a number of disastrous hiring decisions by the Hogwarts Board of Directors, most notably led by Headmaster Ukai. In addition, many have claimed that our country’s premiere school has fallen woefully behind in safety standards, including a rash of petrifications three years ago from a still unknown cause and--of course--the tragic kidnapping and death of a student last year during the Triwizard Tournament held on school grounds. 

With some even calling for Headmaster Ukai’s resignation, Minister Daishou answered public pressure and instituted new reform measures. This includes Ministry pre-approval of curriculum and hiring decisions, starting with the war decorated Auror Minaho Ono taking over for Defense Against the Dark Arts this year.

These measures are already being heralded as a success, as the Prophet learned in our exclusive interview with Deputy Minister Kuroo.

“Children are our future,” the Deputy Minister said. “And we had the Ministry understand that the most important part of making them thrive is providing a safe environment where they can focus on their education and leave the messy politics for the adults. After all, the last thing that belongs in school walls is politics.”

When asked about new professor Minaho Ono, Deputy Minister Kuroo had this to say.

“Oh, she’s doing brillant already,” he told us. “Of course, it’s a challenge catching up the students after years of Headmaster’s Ukai’s, well, less well considered hiring decisions. However, we are hearing every evidence that she’s been mentoring the students wonderfully, a result we should see come with the O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s this year.”

On student adjustment, Deputy Minister Kuroo wasn’t worried. “The students love the changes. In fact, I’ve been hearing from my son Tetsuro that the students are even hoping that the Ministry is allowed to do more in the upcoming--”

The newspaper caught on fire and rotated in a rather ominous flaming orb above Kuroo’s wand.

“Now, I definitely never said that,” Kuroo commented. “Think I can sue for libel?”

“The paper or your father,” Suga asked. “Either way, legally yes; practically no. I don’t think any barrister’s going to hear your case.”

“Bloody practicality,” Kurooo muttered in a tone of someone deeply shackled by the coils of the mundane.

“Anyone else vaguely concerned that the Prophet’s being even more obvious that they’re the Minister’s little lap dog.” Oikawa poked at the ashes that Kuroo had finally let drop. “I wonder what they’re wanting for treats. The Minister better watch out for his pant leg.”

Iwaizumi snorted. “Can’t believe they’re our only real paper.”

“They didn’t used to be.” Suga sighed, fiddling with his silver and green tie. “A lot of other ones were around before the war; but, they went out of business or, well, were put out of business by the Ghosts. The Daily Prophet was always the most…circumvent about their criticisms of the Giant.”

“And to the cowards, go the spoils,” Kuroo mock toasted. “Too bad, I heard some of the old ones were golden--especially the cartoons.”

“Oh yeah, they’re awesome,” Bokuto brightened. “Great Aunt Ena’s still got some Mad Bats preserved in the attic!” 

Iwaizumi quirked an eyebrow. “Mad…Bats?

“It was kind of a satire strip about, um….oh,” Suga’s eyes went to the Great Hall’s entrance. “That’s Daichi. I need to go talk to him about our Muggle Studies project.”

“Don’t you have class in like,” Kuroo checked his watch, “twelve minutes?”

“It’ll only take a bit,” Suga said distractedly, already heading for the door.

The group went back to their breakfast.

Bokuto made a weird twitch movement with his jaw.

They ignored it.

He did it again a few minutes later.

They continued to ignore it.

Bokuto lifted his toast as if he was going to start scraping it across his mouth.

Iwaizumi whacked him on the arm. “You’ve gotta quit doing that. Professor Takeda nearly called you out in class because he thought you, like, accidentally transfigured your teeth or something.”

“But, it’s itchy!” Bokuto complained, sticking out his tongue and poking at it…which didn’t really make anything look less weird. “Why didn’t Matsukawa and Hanamaki tell us the leaf was going to be so itchy?”

“Because they’re sadists,” Oikawa said reasonably.

Iwaizumi laughed. “What he said.”

“Look, just drink some hot tea or something. It helps, promise.” Kuroo shoved some at him. “We only need to make it like a bit more than two weeks.”

“That’s a lot!” Bokuto pouted.

“Just distract yourself,” Iwaizumi told him. “Weren’t you going to talk to Akaashi? How’d that go?”

“I haven’t done it yet,” Bokuto mumbled.

The rest looked at him.

“What? I’m still thinking about what I want to say,” Bokuto said. “It’s scary! I don’t like this. Talking to Keiji shouldn't be scary; it’s Keiji.”

Before they could respond, Suga dropped back to his seat. “Sorry about that.”

“Figure out the project,” Iwaizumi asked.

“The project?” Suga tilted his head. “Oh, yeah, we did. I think we know exactly how to go about it now. Anyway, how’s everyone else’s classes going?”

Under the table, Kuroo kicked Oikawa in the shin. 

Iwaizumi shrugged. “Fine, I guess. Really the only one that’s a hassle is Defense.”

Kuroo kicked Oikawa again and Oikawa turned to glare at him. Kuroo met his eyes before looking discreetly at Suga’s neck, then back at Oikawa.

“Oh, the patronus? Yeah, I’m not making progress with mine either.” Suga fiddled with his tie again, the colors red and gold.

Oikawa’s eyes lit up with unholy glee and he looked back at Kuroo. Kuroo smirked.

“Wait, why are you worried about patronuses already?” Bokuto asked. “She said we’ve got to the end of the year.”

“I know, but we’ve got the rest of our N.E.W.T.s then, too,” Suga said. “Do you really want to worry about both of them at once.”

Bokuto shrugged.

Meanwhile, unnoticed by the others, Oikawa and Kuroo were doing their level best at achieving spontaneous mental communication through eye contact alone.

“The Herbology N.E.W.T shouldn’t be too bad,” Iwaizumi said. “Professor Shimada’s got us working on cross-pollinating our own hybrids so it should be mostly done by the time they review them for the exam.”

Oikawa glanced at Suga then back at Kuroo, tilting his head in a question. Both paused before simultaneously shaking their heads.

“Yeah, I’m not that worried about Arithmancy either,” Bokuto said. “I mean the main thing with that is meeting Professor Yamiji’s publication timeline. Compared to that, the exam’s gonna be easy.”

“Sounds like it won’t be too bad, then.” Suga gathered his bag.

“Yeah, probably because we aren’t crazy enough to take seven classes,” Iwaizumi deadpanned.

“Right, how is that going…,” Suga trailed off, finally catching Kuroo and Oikawa whispering to each other. “What are you two doing?”

“Nothing,” they both answered quickly.

Suga blinked.

“What were you saying, Suga,” Oikawa distracted him.

“I was just asking how you’re class schedule’s going,” Suga said.

“Oh, that. Fantastic,” Oikawa gave a thumbs up. “Invigorating even. Nothing to worry about.”

“...Okay.” Suga stood up. “Well, speaking of class, I better get going. Are you sure you’re alright?”

“We’re wonderful,” Kuroo agreed, throwing an arm around Oikawa’s shoulder. “Better hurry to class, though. Don’t want to be late.”

Oikawa beamed. “Absolutely. Have fun!”

Suga shook his head and walked away, deciding to ignore his two friends’ decidedly weird behavior. He probably shouldn’t have known better.

[kingsmoot]

Ok, so. It's interesting and really sad to me that Tyrion - a person who has suffered sexual abuse (w Tysha, that bit where Cersei hurt him as a baby, and probably many more lesser things) - has this more complex attitude towards Sansa than most of the creepy men in her life. In that aside from consistently trying not to marry her, he also acknowledges that she's a child, a little girl, not supposed to be in this situation (considering the world of Westeros, this is... almost entirely a conclusion he came to himself, as the only other character we see thinking of a teenager this way (iirc) is Ned. Most likely the average decent people are aware of how gross pedophilia is but. You get what I mean!) He doesn't show this same attitude towards Lancel which is it's own thing but also ties into his attitude towards himself.

He's aware that she's too young for this, but the fact that he started a sexual relationship at 13 himself (alongside he desperate need to be wanted and loved, but especially wanted) makes him still... try it with her when they get married.

And the line that really hits me is, "You're a child [...] but I want you. Does that scare you, Sansa?" Which, on so many levels:

a. Gross

b. It's partially because of how Westeros sexualises kids and teens (remember Arya? The nine year old?) that he's even aware of her sexuality. She's been advertised as a sexual object by the Lannisters all day.

c. Gross, and also Tyrion is immoral as hell

d. He's never been grey in this particular direction before and that's horrible to read! Until now it's mostly been him lashing out at people (he thinks are) prejudiced against him. ADWD is coming...

e. IDK if he'd still be this sort of - we'd call it a pervert but it's not perverse in the nobility of Westeros is the horrible thing - individual if he was in a less child-eating setting, (bc that's some heavy psychological theory there) but the idea that he would, he'd just never show it, is almost more hair-raising than the more visible sliminess...

completely agree wrt tyrion's understanding of sansa as a child being unique to him. cersei and tywin both say explicitly that because she's had her first moon's blood she is a woman grown and ready to be wedded and bedded. and in general, child brides abound in westeros. it is a cultural norm to marry off girl-children. tyrion is a singular and notable exception in saying that this is wrong and he wants no part in it. tywin even expresses annoyance when he first says this because sansa is meant to be his "reward" for a job well done on the blackwater because of how her status as heir to winterfell would bolster tyrion's own inheritance as a second son.

i actually think that tyrion not showing this attitude towards lancel is a reflection of how sex in general is framed in westeros (which isn't too different from how sex is framed in real life) where it is something that can only be good for men, never bad, and is expected to be bad, painful, uncomfortable, or unwanted for women but they should be doing it anyway. i think tyrion's acceptance of lancel being crushed between the cogs of lannister sibling machination is a combination of his own traumatic sexual experience in his youth, and the culturally held belief that regardless of cersei being twice lancel's age, she is the most beautiful women in the seven kingdoms, and even if she is going to bite his head off and eat it at the end of this, he should enjoy the experience.

i also think you pointing out the fact that average people are likely aware that pedophilia is bad is a very interesting part of the series in terms of how smallfolk view the intricate depravities of their nobility. there hasn't been a lot of smallfolk perspective so far in my reread (beside arya's adventures with hotpie and gendry which lend a really good perspective but not specifically on this) but i get the sense that they aren't keen on the child marriage and dynastic incest.

i think the thing to remember is that like, we as readers can be disgusted at tyrion climbing into bed naked with sansa and telling her he wants her, because we as readers have a better perspective on this situation and haven't been raised in westeros. that's a good thing! i think that scene is definitely supposed to make us feel ill. but the important thing is that tyrion chooses not to "exercise his rights as a husband" and rape sansa in their marital bed, which is unheard of in westeros.

even cat and ned, who are like in general the golden het standard of a perfect westerosi arranged marriage, even cat describes that she was terrified of her wedding night, that she "gave her maidenhead" to a dark sullen stranger and watched him ride off to war. like it is simply not done in westeros that you would spare your wife her expected marital rape. it is what she has been preparing for all day and it is what is expected of you, her lord husband. cat even watches roslyn cry all the way through her own wedding and thinks "well of course she would be inconsolable, she must be so scared of getting raped later" (with the understanding that the crime of rape does exist in westeros and can be charged for but the definition of rape does not include the sex forced onto women and girls in their wedding beds, so cat does not think of this as rape in her mind. but i do.)

so i think in this case tyrion is grey to readers because we have the understanding that it is wrong to rape a 13 year old girl and inherit her lands and get her pregnant so that they pass into your household lineage so that the lannisters hold the west, south, and the north. but by westerosi standards he's doing some sort of baelor the blessed schtick that everyone finds annoying.

[sweetwhispersofchaos]

Top Gun Rocktober

Here it is @roosterforme. Entry one of two for your Top Gun Roctober event! Hangman did Phoenix dirty. Now it's her turn to pay him back!

Song: I Hate Myself For Lovin You by Joan Jett Characters: Hangman x Phoenix, Hangman x OC (female pilot) Warnings: 18+ ONLY! Minors DNI. Smut. Cussing. Cheating.

Word Count: 4285

Story and Graphic by Me :)

               Deep down she knew he would be there. If there was some sort of secret mission and she was called for it, then surely, he would as well. It only made sense considering his prolific career up to that point. Smug son-of-a-bitch. 

So, when Phoenix heard that arrogant southern drawl ask, “What do we have here?” over the hubbub of the bar, she wasn’t surprised even though chills ran down her spine. Jake “Hangman” Serasin had been her first, last, and only mistake in her Naval career. Her very first day of flight school a gorgeous blonde with a smile to die for sauntered up to her and she was putty. Phoenix swore to herself when she arrived at the Naval Academy things would be all business, all the time. If she was going to be a fighter pilot and maybe someday an admiral in the US NAVY, she didn’t have time to screw around. That was before Jake came crashing into her life, guns blazing.

If she had known he was going to be the very definition of a playboy, she would never have gotten involved. In fact, if she had known exactly how bad things would become, she would have run him over on the tarmac with a plane and lived happily in the brig forever.

Contrary to popular belief, Phoenix was a girly girl. She grew up studying ballet, was prom queen, and loved shopping. She wasn’t an airhead by any stretch, she graduated as valedictorian after all, but still lived up to the stereotypical female persona, especially in high school. So, when she chose to go the military route, everyone she knew was stunned. A chance meeting with a NAVY pilot on career day got her attention her sophomore year and she began to research more about the branch and being a fighter pilot. She had always been a risk taker. Cliff diving at the lake with her friends, bungee jumping with her older brother for her 16th birthday, and racing dirt bikes were just some of her more notable near-death experiences before the age of 18. Flying jets for the military just seemed like another notch on her death-defying antics belt.

Her parents weren’t amused, but they got over it when she was accepted to the United States Naval Academy. She traded in her pretty dresses and dance costumes for a uniform and never looked back. She worked harder than ever at school but even then, her weekends were usually spent with other female midshipmen getting studying over pedicures, coffee, or while watching the latest chick flick. Uniform or not, she was still the same old girly Natasha.

Jake Serasin would break her of her frivolous ways and harden her forever.

She would never forget that very first conversation…

“I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. And you are?”

She saw him and her inside turned instantly to jelly. This wasn’t happening. Was anyone else warm or just her? This was silly but her body was betraying her, clammy palms and sweat pearling on her forehead.

He held his large hand out to her, and she took it, praying this God of a man with his piercing green eyes and chiseled jaw couldn’t feel how sweaty her palm was. Then he stood there holding her hand and staring at her with an expectant smile. It took a moment for her brain fog to clear and realize he was waiting for an answer.

“Uhh, oh, um sorry. I’m Ensign Trace. Natasha Trace. Most call me Nat.”

“Well Ensign Trace Natasha Nat. I’m Jake Serasin and it is an absolute pleasure to meet such a beautiful creature amongst all the testosterone wanderin’ around here.”

Nat was mortified as she felt the heat of a blush creep up her neck from under her flight suit. Seriously Trace? Get it together. She removed her hand and gave him a small smile.

“Bet that lines worked before?”

Jake feigned hurt. “You wound me.”

Nat crossed her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. “I doubt that.” And Jake went back to grinning from ear to ear.

“So where did you go to school Trace?”

“Annapolis.”

He let out a low whistle. “Damn sweetheart, that’s impressive.”

“Thanks. It was fun. What about you?”

“Longhorn’s baby. University of Texas.” He threw up his hand in the hook ‘em horns gesture with a cringe face and Natasha couldn’t help but giggle.

“I take it you’re from Texas then?”

“Absolutely. Born and raised and damn proud of it.”

“I can tell.” He wiggled his eyebrows and Nat blushed more. As strong as she was, Jake Serasin was internally making a mess of her. And what was worse is she knew he knew.

“So, how about dinner this weekend? We can chat first week and go from there?”

Holy cow, that was forward. All sorts of warning bells were going off in her head, but she did what she typically did when something dangerous presented itself to her, she ignored the bells and jumped in headfirst.

“Sure, why not?”

That’s how it all started. Their days were spent in training, their nights together studying, both their books and each other. He did things to her that she never knew were possible. It was scorching and she missed it more than she cared to admit. He took incredible care of her in the bedroom and their intense relationship carried over into the air. Engines revved, and not just the planes, after burners full throttle as soon as they got through the door after a day of flying. But that was before he took her for a ride she hadn’t asked for.

Crossing the bar, she steeled herself, not willing to give away anything to the asshole.

“…fellas, this is Bagman.”

Her mind was racing ninety to nothing. Natasha kept repeating “don’t give him anything” over and over as a mantra during that first interaction. No matter how good he made her feel physically, he had drug her through hell and she had to stay strong. Resist and evade at all costs.

She had never been so happy to see Rooster in her whole life. If there was anyone Hangman loved to screw with more than her, it was Bradley. Rooster and Hangman’s relationship became almost volatile when all the issues between Natasha and Jake came to a head after they were all sent to Top Gun together. Serasin had betrayed Phoenix and Bradley wanted to kill the bastard for it. Nat attempted to communicate with her eyes for Rooster to play it cool. Whatever they were here for was important and killing Jake wasn’t a good idea.

Once Rooster moved to the piano Natasha did her best to avoid the handsome blonde, which was easier said than done when her body continued to betray her. All she wanted to do was slip into his embrace again and she was angry at herself for even thinking it. “He treated you like crap Trace, knock it off” she thought to herself.

Once the group of aviators had their fill of drinks, songs, and games, they paid their tabs and began to meander outside to their vehicles. As Natasha walked along with her new WSO Bob, their light conversation was interrupted by a stout arm wrapping around her shoulders. She stopped dead in her tracks, watching Bobs eyes grow wide behind his spectacles.

Phoenix groaned as she stopped, but she didn’t fight the arm around her shoulders. She missed that feeling, her petite body wrapped in his warmth. Focus Trace.

With as much disdain as she could muster, she let out a lazy “What do you want Bagman?”

“Aw don’t be like that Phoenix. Can’t a pilot miss his favorite wingwoman? Show a little enthusiasm for her return?”

Yes. Yes, he can. Ugh she shouldn’t even think that, but he smelled so good, sandalwood and sunscreen, and her mind began to wander. Thinking of his big hands travelling over her body, heat beginning to rise under the collar of her khaki shirt.

“If you don’t take your hands off of me right this second, I’ll show you what real enthusiasm looks like.” She shot back in a sweet sing-song voice.

For just a moment hurt flashed in the emerald orbs staring at her, his grin faltering some. Before he could say anything though, Rooster marched up from out of nowhere with steam rolling from his ears. Natasha needed to end this and pronto before a parking lot brawl erupted.

She slid out of his embrace, taking a step towards Bob and put her hand on Bradley’s heaving chest just as he came to a stop toe to toe with Hangman.

“Let it go Rooster, he’s not worth it.” She spat. There it was again, that faint look of hurt in the faltering green eyes.

A few seconds of tense silence passed as the two men stared each other down, then Rooster took a step back.

“Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.” He said as he turned on his heel. She gave a nervous look to Bob then nodded her head encouraging him to follow Rooster. Once both men turned their backs, she began to follow, wagering a hesitant look over her shoulder after a few steps. All she saw was a pretty green eye give her a wink.

****

The first day of this mission was brutal. Phoenix hurt all over. Right down to her eyelashes. Maverick and kicked their asses and even Jake had shut up. Some.

Phoenix hustled through the locker room and out of the hangar as fast as she could once they were dismissed, hoping like hell to avoid Hangman. He literally hung her out to dry, per usual, in the air and she was so angry she could spit nails. He always did this to her. Butter her up just to use her like a door mat. She let it happen over and over again and she was embarrassed that she fell for it again right off the bat today. Especially with her new back seater in tow. As quiet as he is though, he fired back at Bagman, and she appreciated that he was a quick learner.

Luck wasn’t on her side though right now. Jake was waiting outside the front door of the hangar as she attempted her quick getaway.

“Hey firebird, sorry for today. Guess I just couldn’t wait to do my thang with that prick Maverick. Forgot to include you in the fun. Can you forgive me?” He was following her down the sidewalk as she rolled her eyes and tried to press on to her car. His face looked like a sad puppy. A sad puppy who wasn’t sorry at all.

He followed her all the way across the lot and down three rows before she tossed her bag on the trunk of her car and whipped around to face him. The asshole was wearing a smug smile. He knew he was under her skin and that it bothered her.

Focus Trace, put him in his place and leave it alone.

“So, how’s Emma these days?”

Jake looked as though he took a shot directly to the chest. His charming persona faltered, and she smirked with pride.

“Out of the Navy, married with a kid. Uh, yeah.” He hesitated, obviously searching for his words. “That’s it, long gone.” he said sheepishly.

With all the sass she could muster she replied “Aww that’s too bad.”

Phoenix picked up her bag and got in her car, driving away, and leaving Hangman in her dust.

Once Natasha reached her barracks apartment, she rushed in, afraid that Jake might have followed her. She slammed the door shut, locking it with fervor before the tears started to flow.

How could she let that asshole get to her after what he did. He barely seemed remorseful and yet she missed him deeply. She HATED herself for loving him. Her body slid down the door and she sobbed into her hands, mentally beating herself up. The late nights waiting for him. His excuses. He had to work late, or a buddy needed help. His touches becoming fewer and far between. Less responses to her calls and emails while she was out to sea. Then it happened. She couldn’t forget the events of that day if she tried…

She had only been home from deployment a week. Jake had only visited her twice, rocking her world but continuing to make excuses for his absence. She was tired of waking up alone in the mornings, wondering if it was something she had done to push him away. Nat decided to surprise him at his apartment in Lemoore one afternoon in the hopes of fixing whatever was wrong. She remembered it vividly. After work she ran home to shower and put on some beautiful lingerie under a tight dress. Dousing herself in the fancy perfume he always said drove him crazy, she gave herself an approving look before dashing out the door. She stopped to pick up his favorite beer and some chocolate covered strawberries, hoping to entice him to talk.

Jake gave her a key to his place months before her deployment, so she decided to let herself in when she saw his truck in the parking lot. Maybe she would catch him in the shower and be able to extra surprise him. In her excitement she didn’t notice the little red car sitting next to his truck.

The key turned and she let herself in, going to the kitchen of his spacious apartment, placing the beer and strawberries in the fridge when she heard it. A very loud moan. The moan of a woman being pleasured. At first, she thought maybe it was coming from the apartment next door. Then it happened again even louder. Her body froze, hands clutching the kitchen counter. Her ears coming in to focus, the sounds of a bed thudding against a wall and loud cries from a woman echoed into the kitchen from the direction of Jakes bedroom. Chills crawled up Natashas spine as everything became crystal clear to her. The lack of communication, his late nights away. She was so stupid. Then she heard the most hurtful words she’d ever heard in her life.

“Jake, yes! Oh, right there! Baby, baby, tell me I’m the one. Tell me I’m the best!”

“Oh yeah, the best darlin. No one’s pussy feels like yours.”

“Not even that bitch, Trace?”

“Uggghhh not even her. She’s nothing baby. You’re the best. Ride me, gimme those perfect tits.”

Tears began to swell as her face flushed boiling hot. Nat turned on her heel and walked silently to the room, the door cracked enough that she could see a thin blonde with absolutely perfect tits bouncing up and down on Hangman. She watched in horror before bursting through the door, scaring the shit out of the bimbo, and causing Jake to almost toss the woman to the floor as he stood up in shock, fully naked, fully erect, and obviously shocked.

“How could you!” Natasha shouted, spit seething from her mouth as she shoved at Jakes’ arm while he bounced up and down on one leg trying to put his underwear on.

He let out a nervous chuckle. “Natasha, baby. I thought you had a late flight. This means nothing. It was a one-time thing. I’m sorry! Don’t be mad.” He stood up in front of her, a smirk on his face. “You know, you could come join us!”

She saw red. The ho on the other side of the bed stood stark naked, a bemused look on her face.

“Jakey baby, she probably couldn’t keep up.”

At the sound of the voice Nat’s blood went ice cold. She knew that voice. Up to this point she hadn’t paid any mind to the faceless bag of breasts. Her eyes slowly turned to lock eyes with the chick and Nat let loose a low snarl. Emma Farmer. Lieutenant Emma Farmer. Callsign Blondie. He was fucking a WSO from another squad. The little shit had humped everyone who flew in a plane and then some.

“You BITCH!” Natasha spat as she made to run across the room. A strong arm shot out, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her out of the room as the harlot stood with her hands on her hips, laughing. “You snooze you lose Phoenix.” The other aviator hissed with a smirk. “He needs a real woman.”

Natasha raged as Jake pulled her from the room. He told her maybe she should go. That SHE should go. She was floored. He asked for his key back and walked her to the door. Phoenix was a sobbing mess, asking why, but he wouldn’t answer her. Just said it wasn’t working for him and he would see her at work. That simple. Two years of what she thought was the start of forever, tossed aside from some tacky twat with tits.

The moment she walked out of his place her heart hardened; a piece of it broken forever. She was so angry at him and angry at herself because all she wanted to do was run back to him. Rooster spent weeks comforting her while threatening to kill Hangman in some very creative ways. It wasn’t long after that Rooster and Hangman were both sent to other Naval Air Stations, leaving her alone to deal with her conflicting feelings. Until she walked into the Hard Deck the night before she hadn’t seen either of them in a couple of years. Now she was sitting on the floor crying and she was so mad at herself for it.

Nat wiped her face, setting her jaw. Two could play this game. She wasn’t the silly little girl he left behind. She was smart, calculating, and tougher than ever before. Instead of going down that road again she decided to do what any shrewd woman would do: get even.

She picked up her phone and found his name in her contacts list. The phone rang twice before that suave voice answered.

“Change your mind?”

“Mhmm. Half an hour?”

“Come on over, you know where to find me.” Then the line clicked dead, and a wicked grin crossed her face. Tonight, the bastard was going to get what he deserved once and for all.

*****

Half an hour later Phoenix had showered, threw on the same little black dress from that fateful night, dabbed some of the expensive perfume behind her ears and set off.

One knock and Jake opened the door, his arm coming to rest on the top of the door frame, posing in front of her in nothing but a pair of very loose sweatpants. He grinned his famous Cheshire cat grin at her and whistled.

“Wow.” Was all he said, his eyes drinking her in from top to bottom. She played coy, ducking her head in a flirtatious manner as she passed him. No sooner was the door closed that he was on her. His huge arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her to his chest. His warm lips connected to the skin at the base of her neck and she moaned. Involuntarily. Focus woman, you’re on a very important mission. She wiggled into him and his hands began to roam up and down her body. Her dress had very thin straps and it took him no time to slide them down her arms along with the top of the dress, revealing her breasts. His hands caressed them roughly then he started to work her nipples while slowly nudging her towards his couch.

Once they reached the piece of furniture he released her, moving to sit down. He stared at her chest while patting his lap. She gave him a smirk and a wink, then slowly slid her tight dress up her thighs until her nether region was barely visible. Jake reached around, cupping her ass cheeks in his hands and pulling her down onto his lap. She immediately felt his hardening erection through the sweat pants.

His hands were back on her breasts in an instant and he leaned forward to begin sucking on one nipple. Her brain was going hazy. She was grinding her wet pussy onto his lap and he was growling every time she did. Jakes hands slid up to her neck, grabbing her a little rough and pulling her down for hot kiss. It was hard and all tongue and Natasha had to really focus not to give in. He wasn’t worth it, this wasn’t what she thought it was. Stay the course.

While he kissed her, tiny hands wandered to the waist band of the pants. She made quick work, pulling out his dick and running her hand slowly from tip to balls. He nipped at her bottom lip as she began to pump him.

“Ahhh yes mam. Just like that.” He said with a twinkle in his eye. He sat back, placing his hands behind his head, obviously enjoying the show.

“Oh you like that? Just you wait.” She slid off his lap, coming to rest with her knees on the floor between his legs. Before he could say another word she licked up his shaft. Jake shuddered and she smiled at him wickedly.

“I seem to remember someone really likes to have his cock sucked?” she asked before she took him all the way in her mouth, his head hitting the back of her throat. She couldn’t keep up huh? She gave head like a porn star and she knew it. The hisses and growls coming from Jake told her he was enjoying her ministrations. One of her hands cupped his balls while the other drug her nails down his chest. Her head bobbed up and down, tongue licking precum before returning to deep throat him. If only he knew what was coming, and it wasn’t him.

She started to feel his balls clench and she knew he was getting close. Nat continued to work on him until he was stuttering. When she knew he was right there on the cusp she pulled off with a pop. His eyes flew open in panic, but she only stood, still giving him an evil smirk. She turned around with a sultry wiggle and bent forward, giving him a full view of her wet pussy.

“Beautiful.” He said and he did exactly what she thought he would, leaning forward and lapping at her slit, giving her a shudder. “But it would look better wrapped around my dick.”

Nat flipped her head sideways to look at him with a smile. “I think so too.” This was it. Now or never.

Hangmans hands grabbed at her hips and moved her backwards. Instead of coming down onto his dick though, she sat back on his stomach, his dick standing at attention between her legs, right up against her dripping opening. She used her hands to pump him again, let his cock slide against her slick opening.

“Oh baby, that’s just cruel.”

She let an evil giggle loose. “You know you like it.”

He didn’t have to say anything though. The way he was bucking his hips told her everything she needed to. It would be so easy to slip him in. Abort the plan. But then he would win and that was absolutely not happening.

Natasha cupped his balls again as she rode him, listening to his pants become more and more shallow. Jake continued to babble and buck, sputtering something about her teasing him. The more he babbled, the more she worked him against her slick core. This was it, she could feel his balls tightening again.

“Phoenix, Phoenix. I’m gonna cum. Get that pussy on me baby. Please? Please? I need it so bad.” He was right where she wanted him, begging for her. Begging for mercy.  

“You want this pussy?” she asked in a husky voice; his only response was a strained whimper. She pumped and pumped then rose up and he sucked in a breath. She knew he thought she was about to slam down on him. Instead, she took a few steps forward, pulling her straps up and wiggling the dress down as she moved. Natasha whipped around and leaned in, coming face to face with his shocked expression.

“You know. On second thought? Forget it. I don’t really like sloppy seconds.” She said as she patted his cheek. Then she grabbed her keys and phone and exited the apartment quickly, shaking her hips the whole way.

There, enjoy your blue balls asshole, she thought.

Once she was back in her room she took a cold shower, feeling proud of herself for controlling the hunger she had for him and sticking it to the jerk once and for all. If he thought he was going to keep using her as a personal door mat, he had another thing coming. Natasha found her worth, and it had nothing to do with any man. She had finally broken free of his hold.

Nat knew she was a damn good pilot, officer, and friend. Jake Serasin was nothing more than a lesson learned the hard way and a step on her path to greatness. Fuck him and his shitty behavior.

Nat crawled into bed, grabbed her favorite pink teddy bear, then texted Rooster.

“Jakes wearing my favorite color, blue” with a devil emoji.

Rooster sent back the only two words she needed. “Good girl.”

She smiled with pride, ready to take on whatever this mission had in store for her, knowing she had the upper hand now. She didn’t hate herself anymore, that’s for sure!

[scrollsfromarebornrealm]

on our fates alight--false society

Emma stared at the glass bowl that served as the family letter holder. Before Riven had first Primed, it had always been full. Invitations to balls, parties, teas, symposiums, lectures--the DeGlass family was well-known on the island. Then her daughter had Primed--and the invitations had slowed to a trickle.

Then Riven had escaped, and the envelopes had stopped coming. Which had suited Emma just fine. She knew how Sharlayan high society worked. Had been teaching her baby the finer points. The one or two friends she had expected to maybe offer some support--hadn't. In fact, the only reason why the family had been able to cling to their place in polite society had everything to do with Ameliance Leveilleur stepping in to be a true friend to Emma and Roderick.

But now the bowl was overflowing every day. Had been ever since word of Zenos's defeat in Ala Mhigo. Riven--already honored by the Eorzeans for defeating Gaius van Baelsar--had cemented her status as a hero. Valefor's aerial battle with Shinryu was already bardic fodder in every tavern. Suddenly the citizens of Sharalyan were madly interested in Riven's life and her exploits. Voices that had cursed her baby were now singing her praises. And it wasn't Riven alone, Sebastian was also the recipient of the same treatment. However his parents hadn't rejoiced to find that their son was still alive, disowning him publicly and legally. Emma didn't know if Sebastian even knew what had happened. All she could do was stare at that gods damned bowl, at all the envelopes with her name, Roderick's name, she could taste the hypocrisy--

A scream and the sound of glass shattering made Ameliance check as she entered the living room. Beside her, Roderick gasped.

"Emma!" Emma had picked up the letter bowl and flung it with all her might against the far wall. Sunlight hit the glass pieces, throwing rainbows all over the room as Emma covered her face and sobbed. Immediately Roderick hurried over, wrapping his arms around her.

"Emma..."

"I'm sick of it! I'm sick of all the letters!" Emma sobbed. "I'm sick of the lookyloos, the gossipmongers--everyone!" She hiccuped, the tears beginning to flow faster. Behind the pair, Ameliance shook her head at the maid who had just ran into the room, making a shooing motion. Carefully she made her way over to the debris field, toeing some of the envelopes. There were a few names she recognized, most notably from socialites who had been snubbing Emma--and had tried to do the same to Ameliance for her support of the hyuran family. The key word being 'tried'.

Fourchenault will at least be happy that things are somewhat getting back to normal. High society and politics were closely entwined in Sharlayan, and Ameliance's warring on Emma's behalf had certainly...caused some trouble.

"Perhaps it might be a good idea for you two to leave the city for a bit?" She ventured, turning around. Roderick shook his head, rubbing his wife's shoulders.

"Not an option." He said. "Never mind Iato's death, Sevestre is still alive. And the Empire still has tetherhooks here. It behooves us to find them and rip them out."

"So Riven...if Riven ever chooses to return, and her friends come...they're safe." Emma got out, her voice raspy. Ameliance frowned, but she could see the couple's reasoning.

"If that's the case, perhaps a trip to my home's in order while this is cleaned." She offered. Roderick and Emma both looked at her, and Ameliance reached into a pocket. Withdrawing another envelope, she held it up.

"Is that from...?" Emma breathed.

"Alphinaud is still on the mend, as is Riven. But..." Ameliance paused, considering her next words. "Tataru is a bit more detailed in this one. The Eorzean Alliance has begun investigating the Empire's anti-magics experiments in Ala Mhigo. What they've found is disturbing."

"Disturbing how?" Roderick pressed. Emma pushed against his shoulders, and he let her go.

"The Garleans expanded their 'research' to include the Echo." Ameliance tucked the letter back into her pocket. "For the rest of it, I insist you have a good meal and a stiff drink first." She watched as Emma exhaled, accepting a hankercheif Roderick gave her.

"I'm sorry for my earlier display..."

"Don't apologize!" Ameliance scolded. "Scholar, I would be doing the same!" She looked at the rainbow speckled envelopes. "There will be quite a few gatherings I plan on not attending during this social season, and I plan on making sure my reasons why are well-known."

[mochidom]

Finances and Horoscopes (Fairies Heirs)

Masterpost here!

Kiera Redfox moodboard here!

In which Kiera Redfox just needs reassurance. A lot of it.

For as far as she remembered, Lucy Heartfillia-Dragneel’s generation was not one that followed the mantra of “the early bird gets the worm.”

Quite the opposite actually, most of her guild-mates, when they were all younger, would not arrive at the guild before 11am and some would even have the audacity to take a nap upon their arrival at the guild instead of going to work.

In fact, the only time Lucy, who lived so close to the guild that it was embarrassing to arrive after 11am, even considered waking up before 10am was when the first of the month was approaching and she still didn’t have the money for her rent. The need to get a job and earn money suddenly took priority over her twelve hours of sleep knowing that by default of earning said money, her sleep would now take place under the canal.

Now, many many years later, after kids and everything that came with adulthood, any minute of sleep past 5am was considered a win.

Lucy Heartfillia-Dragneel was in her bed, enjoying her sleep when she suddenly found herself awake and confused as to what woke her up.

She hadn’t heard any notable noise and to honestly, after living with her son and her husband for the last decade and so, she could now sleep through a dozen natural catastrophes without any problem.

She  looked at the clock on the other side of the room. 5:09AM. 9 more minutes of sleep than usual.

Unusual but not surprising considering the fact that Natsu was still out on mission with their two kids and that none of would come back before this afternoon. Maybe, she could take advantage of this rare vacation and sneak a few more hours of sleep.

Lucy snuggled again in her bed, feeling content and forgetting the reason for her awakening.

She was drifting back to Dreamland again, when she heard it and recognized it, the sound that woke her up. She thought it was the wind moving the bell that Natsu insisted on keeping as their doorbell. But it was clear as day now. It was the unmistakable cling and clang of someone trying to break in her house through her locked bedroom window. 

The celestial mage awoke instantly again without moving. She didn’t want the intruder to know she was awake yet and waited patiently until he finished fighting with the lock.

She sighed to herself, today would have been such a good day to sleep in if she wasn’t being robbed.

The sudden breeze flowing through the room a few minutes later warned her that the window was now open and the sound of steps told her exactly how close the intruder was to her bed.

Lucy whirled around when the intruder’s foot thudded against her bed frame, throwing her bedding, zodiac keys in hand, ready to fight when she locked eyes with ruby pupils. 

Ruby pupils that belonged to, she realized, none other than Kiera Redfox, her goddaughter.

She was wearing one of her usual flowy long skirts and bright blue rain boots. Her green-blue hair was in two lopsided ponytails that she was sure Levy put great effort in... the day before.

Her outfit was completed by the green bag that seemed to never leave her back.

If Lucy wasn’t in the room when Levy gave birth, she would swear Kiera came out of the womb with it.

The blonde woman sighed, the hand holding the keys dropping to her side. “Kiera, you scared me baby, what are you doing ?” She asked the girl.

The green-haired girl smiled at her, almost sheepishly, her showing missing tooth instantly mellowing any anger Lucy had. “Auntie Lu!” She yelled more than whispered. “You’re awake !”

Lucy chuckled, laying back down in her bed. ”I am now, indeed” She tapped to the empty space beside her. “Get down that window and come here. What are you doing breaking in at such an early time ?.”

As opposed to the afternoon, Lucy wanted to add but she simply smiled at the girl waiting for her to get off the window frame.

Kiera sat down next to her in the bed, suddenly looking very serious. “Auntie Lu. I’m afraid time is of the essence. I need your help and it’s urgent.”

Lucy frowned. “Okay…” She started. “What’s happening ?” The Heartfillia heir kept the panic at bay despite the seriousness in her goddaughter’s voice. Knowing Kiera, it was certainly not that serious. The girl was just always that dramatic.

“It’s supposed to be a secret. Can I trust you ?”

Lucy gasped dramatically at her. “Of course, my love. What is it ?”

Kiera retrieved a notebook from her green backpack and opened it at the last page. Inscribed in the worst writing imaginable was what looked like a contract ? Contract as in there was a single clause and two signatures.

“I have been proposed to participate in a business venture and I need Virgo to tell me my wealth horoscope before I decide if I want to invest in it.” Kiera explained.

”Can you summon her, please ?” The tween asked , her expression solemn.

Lucy could not begin to imagine what type of business venture an 9-year-old could be approached about but she was also looking at Gajeel’s child.

That was enough for her to simply mumble her approval, not ask any follow-up questions and grab her keys to summon her spirit.

Virgo appeared in her usual maid dress and accompanied by the sweet sounds of her chains clanking against each other.

Kiera waved enthusiastically at the spirit. “Hi Miss Virgo! Can you…”

“No.” was the only thing Virgo proposed to the conversation before disappearing in pink smoke, leaving both godmother and granddaughter in disbelief.

Lucy stifled a laugh and did an apologetic shrug. “ I’m sorry Kiera, I think we called her too many times this month. We can try tomorrow if you want.”

“At a later time, it’s early in the spirit world too.” She added quickly.

The Redfox progeniture looked at her pensively. “No need for that. Auntie Lu ?”

“Yes ?”

“I lied when I said I needed Virgo before making a decision.”

“I actually already made the decision to invest and I used Uncle Natsu and Uncle Grey’s bet money to do it.” She continued, seemingly not aware of the mistake she made. “I just needed reassurance that it was indeed a good idea because I don’t think it was.”

Yes, Gajeel’s child alright. Who could do something that will upset both a Dragneel AND Fullbuster other than a Redfox. But no, Lucy did not think it was a good idea either and she was about to say just that in big euphemisms when she suddenly felt her husband approaching their house at quite a fast pace.

Knowing his super dragon ear and assuming he heard the conversation and ALSO considering the fact that he was counting on that money to go on that flying fish trip that Lucy forbade, she turned very calmly towards her goddaughter. “Kiera, let’s bring you home now.”

[chirpsythismorning]

wait you're not saying you think Jonathan might be Hoppers son too, right? hooking up Twice and having Two sets of kids with each other multiple years apart? sounds a bit too out there and something that would have Had to have come up before if they want it to be satisfying, because there'd be no way either of them could be in the dark about it

Hey, I get it! I was also skeptical myself (I still am)!

To be fair, when it comes to Jonathan, I'm still not 100% certain Hopper is his dad. But tbh, the fact that there is so much sufficient evidence he is Will and El's, along with some notable mentions pointing to the possibility he could be Jon's too, I'm intrigued. Like, they might as well go all out if they're going this route anyways?

No, I would not say it's explicit by any means, though I also wouldn't say with certainty that it's never come up at all either?

I also want to say that it took me a while to get here. I didn't just believe it all at once, it took going through different revelations and correcting theories based on things not adding up, while in contrast other things made a lot more sense for the overall story. And that is bound to continue happening regardless of what I think at this moment!

Initially, after stumbling across twelvegate, I wasn't even sure Will and El were twins? It wasn't until AGAIN rewatching certain scenes and seeing all this twin imagery that made it hard not to consider?

Though even so, at the time I was still pretty set on the assumption that they couldn't have the same mom, with Joyce obviously being Will's mom and Terry obviously being El's mom (right...). And so I thought maybe they could just be half-siblings? Sharing the same dad (Lonnie) and conceived around roughly the same time? Estranged siblings, only mere days/weeks apart? And so like, might as well be twins? I guess?

This was a pretty easy conclusion to come to because there was already a decent amount of evidence from s1 pointing to Lonnie potentially being a volunteer for MKUltra, alongside Terry.

I made a shit-post about this a while back. In case you want to see all the images related to this, feel free to check that out. I'll try to summarize it here quickly though, bc it's probably too vague there with the images alone:

When Hopper and Cal are at the Library in s1, we're shown quick snapshots of newspaper clippings related to Hawkins Lab, with one picture being the volunteers that participated in MKUltra. Though, the first time we see it, it's a negative image. So there was almost this anonymity to it, making you wonder if there was something that might have warranted them not wanting us to see it fully? At least not right away, for some reason? And I think this actually might have been because the effect made it appear like most of the participants were likely women, bc they all had long hair. But then, when we're finally shown the original picture near the end of the episode, right before they let us see it, Hopper says Forget about her (referring to Terry), only to reveal it was actually a man with long hair at the forefront, with Terry in the back to the right... And honestly, this guy in the middle does resemble Lonnie quite a bit. Like, if they had to cast someone to play a late 20's/early 30's Lonnie, this guy would fit the bill.

In that same scene, we also got an article that specifically mentioned individuals that were already addicts/alcoholics being chosen as participants for the experiments, and I do think Lonnie could arguably fit there.

Then there's the multiple comments about Lonnie dating women younger than him, and that might very well have aligned perfectly with Terry's sister saying she had joined MKUltra in college as a way to get extra cash (he would have still been roughly 10 years older than her, assuming she was in here early 20s at the oldest). It's also implied quite a bit that he's not exactly faithful, so this possibility of him cheating on Joyce with Terry while volunteering at the lab, could explain Will and El being practically the same age and with the same dad.

Basically this led me down a rabbit hole that had me genuinely considering the possibility that Will and El are blood related and that Lonnie could be their father, with El being born in the lab with Terry, while Will was born on the outside in Hawkins with Joyce. And I guess this could also fit the whole Will being the control group/El being the experiment group theory? Bc the lab probably found out about Will's existence after he was already born outside of the lab. Maybe they realized this would be a perfect opportunity to compare one kid in the lab vs. one out of the lab?

There are some other notable moments from s1 that read as potential evidence to me. My favorite though probably has to be this one, bc it just screams Willel twins:

This next one is so random, but here we have a transition between El in Mike's basement, followed directly by Lonnie taking a shower at the Byers...

Though, when it comes to Lonnie, he kind of falls off after s1? We get a few mentions of him here and there, but as time goes on, it's less and less. The story as a whole hasn't really prioritized him in the narrative, beyond the first two seasons (mostly the first), which would just make the revelation that he's been their father all along less impactful/satisfying if I'm being honest? Not saying he won't return in a vision or something, because I do think that's likely for s5. And yet arguably they've put more effort into connecting Terry to the overall story's narrative throughout the series than they have for Lonnie. And if you've read my previous posts about Terry, you know that's not saying much...

Which just makes you think, if they're putting all this time into prioritizing Hopper and Joyce, from the very beginning and even until now in s4, then that's probably for a reason? Remember this is a show that wants to encourage its viewers to rewatch it as an overall story once it's all finished. Emphasis on 'be kind, rewind'.

What I think makes this whole time trickery business interesting in regards to this 'crack' theory though, specifically within the context of Back to the Future, is that the plot of the movie was literally centered around Marty going to the past (1955), unintentionally preventing his parents from getting together, which in turn meant he was on track to cease to exist.

Although Marty thought he fixed it, Back to the Future Part II follows a similar storyline. Only this time, because of Marty's actions in the first film, another timeline has emerged that has lead to him, yes technically still existing in 1985 bc his parents still got together like they did in the original timeline, though unfortunately somewhere along the way, in the 70's George McFly died, which lead to a timeline contrasting the original 1985 timeline we were presented with in the first film, which looked like a literal nightmare, with Biff having taken the place of their father.

Which instantly reminds me of another certain show's incoming 1950's timeline, which is said to connect the overall story's s5 revelations with the origin story of Joyce and Hopper...

While I do agree, at a glance it's confusing to presume that not only Will and El are Hopper's kids but also Jonathan, I would argue it's just as confusing that somewhere along the way they got together, while Joyce was still married to Lonnie? If that was the case, I think the story would supplied a lot more evidence of Joyce herself knowing there is a big chance that Will could be his. But instead they behave as though they haven't talked since high school?

So... basically, regardless of time trickery or not, their memories are shot.

Which brings us to the most important piece of the puzzle:

Terrygate.

I am now 99.99% sure Terry is not El's 'Mama'... (Very strong evidence explored here and here)

And so that obviously begs to question, if Terry isn't El's mom? Then who is?

Joyce. It has to be Joyce.

And so that means that us just assuming Lonnie could be both of their dads, and with us now also assuming Joyce is their mom.. Then, maybe they are twins? Maybe all of that twin imagery connected to Will and El did count for something?

If you've read the posts about Terry not being El's mom, then you know that a lot of El's visions provided by Terry have resurfaced in different variations ever since she met her in 2x05, all the way up to now in 4x09. Not only that, but the references to 008 (Kali) in most of these flashbacks, including her flashbacks of the massacre (provided by Brenner), are incredibly suspicious. And the fact that we've got a woman doctor matching the nail polish of Terry in El's memory of her birth (one where you can hear two babies crying, I might add...) could very well be an indication that the memories she has, are tampered with...

You might be thinking NO! NO WAY! And I'm sorry but, Yes. Yes way.

Because this was in large part the main goal of MKUltra, from the very beginning. No, but like literally.

As I'm posting this, @erikiara80 posted this and... It makes so much fucking sense.

Just like El, Hopper has also been experiencing some PTSD like memory flashes throughout the series. We get the same like 10 snippets of memories. They keep reminding us with these snapshots that are super cryptic, only leaving us with more questions than answers.

Not only that, but David has said for YEARS that Sarah's death might not be what it seems, and basically alluded to the fact that she could have some sort of connection to the lab. Hopper literally experiences these flashbacks while trying to find Will in the UD, after discovering Will's tiger in Castle Byers at the end of s1 (the same stuffed animal Sarah, Will and El all have).

Not only that, but it's clear based on the setting of where Hopper is during the flashbacks with his daughter in the hospital, that he is quite literally at Hawkins lab... And so what the hell? He doesn't remember that? Why? Wouldn't that be an important detail for him to bring up and mention at some point? Wouldn't they want to inform us of his history at the lab, assuming he had one there? Wouldn't he be more skeptical about having Will go there if he had such a traumatic experience there? Unless he doesn't remember it being Hawkins lab? Unless those cheap ass memories are not the full truth in the first place??

I mean why else do these flashbacks read like forced memories more than actual reality?

Also, I find it interesting that Hopper left Hawkins right around the time before Will was born, to live in New York with his newborn and his wife (NYU is also Jon's dream school, since he was 6... Interesting).

And so what I think is going on here, is time trickery and false memories. An og timeline and a new one (or more...).

This means that Joyce, Jim, Jonathan, Will and El were probably a family at one point. But they've basically been ripped apart, losing each other (their memories of each other), leading them to believe that they are not family based on new memories in place, blocking the old memories.

The whole thing with Back to the Future is that those 3 kids can ONLY exist if their parents get together. This means that if Biff had somehow ended up preventing George and Lorraine from ever having kids like in the original timeline, then Marty and his siblings would cease to exist, as it wouldn't be possible for Biff and Lorraine to have the same kids as George and Lorraine ie. genetics.

And so this begs to question if perhaps Henry or the lab (assuming they successfully cracked time travel, which was one of the goals of MKUltra...), benefited much greater from Will and El and the entire family not knowing about their true relationship, and yet here they are experiencing the most intense bouts of deja vu I've ever seen.

This scene right here with Hopper? Still 99% unexplained. Why is this dude experiencing borderline dad deja vu, encased in a rainbow, witnessing the lights flicker firsthand (unlike Callahan, who upon arriving, the lights turn back on)? And we're all just nodding our heads like it's nothing, despite having no clue what is going on? This is the pilot? And we don't know what happened here??

Also I wanna remind ya'll that Hopper was seen mixing alcohol with Tuinal in s1, though he did stop after having suspicions he was being watched. And so presumably, since his 'daughters death' he has been highly medicated, mixing drugs/booze... not great for a persons memory... like at all (especially if it was intentionally being done to him by the lab to hide the truth from him).

This is obviously too iconic not to mention. But this basically supports the theory, that despite the this whole family being clueless about their true connection, we're still acknowledging the fact that Joyce and Hopper have indeed been intimate at some point. And here with Will's name being thrown in the middle, followed by That a yeah or? And so what's happening subtly is, Will's name being used as proof that yes. they have... aka Will existing is the proof.

Oh would you look here! Terry likes reading books on Bonsai trees? Wait, didn't Brenner open s4 as a Bonsai tree enthusiast? Also notice what Hopper at the end there? What did I tell you about that dad deja-vu It's almost like subconsciously he knows deep down that there is a connection to Terry and Brenner.

Seems like Terry knows something that someone doesn't want Joyce and Hopper (or the audience) to know... Almost like if she could actually respond to them, she would debunk/correct their assumptions. And so because she can't, the characters (and the audience) believe what is on the surface being told to us, while being forced to rewatch El's memories connected to her mother + Hopper's memories connected to his daughter, over and over in flashes... This is because despite what they're telling us, they're SHOWING us that there's obviously something we're still missing...

Hopper seeing Will's lion stuffed animal in castle byers and it triggering flashbacks of his daughter, n a gown that has clowns on it, matching the clowns in the baby nursery... Like, I don't?.. I just don't trust it? It reads as a mixture of true and false, just like El's flashbacks from Terry and the lab do.

And I'm sorry but, Owens? Oh, he knows something for sure... And there's that dad deja vu again. DUDE KNOWS SOMETHING IS OFF! HE KNOWS!

Also, I am a byler, and so I do agree in part with the byler implications fans have speculated over the years for El and Will's relationship being sort of pushed to obscurity, to represent Mike's struggle between his feelings for both of them...

But, lets really think about this for a second... Girl and boy, who are mirrored to each other for most of s1-2, don't even get properly introduced ever? Like it's just odd that it happens that way. It almost feels like they knew an introduction wouldn't have done them justice? It wouldn't have felt right for these characters, assuming we will all be going back and rewatching from a lens of them being twins and not knowing it? It also makes it a lot more interesting seeing them approach it in this way, where they're quite literally avoiding interactions between them at all costs, only for them to end up being siblings the moment they do start a real connection?

The 2 babies in between them... The keys... This has been a recurring theme since the first fucking episode ya'll, connecting all of these characters? Like, do I even have to say it..?

Will and John sitting in front of the Lucky Charms... Followed by El having deja vu, inspired by the Rainbow/Upside down horse shoe... Remind you of anyone?

Father of (micro)biology behind El, whose looking at Will, both with their matching wrist accessories (also matching Hopper's blue bracelet/watch being focused on for his introduction in the series pilot), and also with a literal Hopper diorama in front of her/between them...

Oh, and just this arguably unnecessary line, that barely even made sense in the context of the scene it was in...? Usually when this happens, it could be a hint that the whole reason it falls flat in the moment is because the true meaning lies somewhere else in a different moment, still yet to be revealed.

And then you know, there's this...

With all of that in mind, these tiny moments in particular, potentially connecting Jonathan's role in all of this, definitely have me side eying...

What part is he talking about? Part I or Part II? What timeline are we in again???!!

Is it explicit and in your face? No. Definitely not. BUT it's there and it arguably holds more weight consistently in terms of these characters all being tied together super intricately and also prioritized more than any of the other supposed parents, since the very beginning... and that seems like something that would make this revelation so fucking crazy, quite literally going full circle just like the Duffers and the actors have been saying the ending indeed accomplishes...

I am subject to be wrong about any and all of this! I am human! And I will be okay if I am wrong! Now, will you be okay with others theorizing? That is up to you my friend!

I do think that this theory does give off the vibe of the whole curtain metaphor in s2 though? How those willing to take a look behind the curtain aka consider byler for example, are going to be the same people that are going to be able to pick up on other things beyond that. Because if you're not willing to consider byler, that means you're going to have to subscribe to the claim that details don't matter, and therefore you're essentially blocking yourself from looking at anything deeper than surface level. Being willing to even look behind the curtain at all, would open the curtain behind that curtain. and the curtain behind that one, and I think behind byler, is Willel. It's like a plot twist within a plot twist. And same goes for Jopper being their biological parents.

Whether or not Jonathan is included in that, along with all of this theory as a whole, remains to be seen!

[yatescountyhistorycenter]

They never let him live that one down

By Jonathan Monfiletto

During his lifetime, it was said of Harry C. Morse that he “has certainly been a martyr in a good cause” of promoting Keuka Lake around the world “for he does not like notoriety.” After his death, it was said he “seldom wanted to talk about the unusual fishing exploit of his youth.”

And yet, more than 150 years after the aforementioned exploit and nearly 90 years after his death, the enduring image – figuratively in people’s minds and literally in photographs – of Harry Morse is of a seven-year-old boy who got bit on the nose by a trout while on a fishing adventure on Keuka Lake. But, this boy – who apparently carried a scar from the fish bite on his nose the rest of his life – became a man, and in fact a distinguished man who worked as a steamboat captain and managed two of Penn Yan’s most notable theaters.

Nevertheless, it seems a photograph of Harry C. Morse (the C stood for Corey, his mother’s maiden name, and there are newspaper references to him in his adulthood named with his middle initial) as an adult does not exist anywhere. Neither the Yates County History Center nor the Yates County Historian’s Office has such a photograph in their collections. According to historian Rich MacAlpine, who wrote about Morse in “Keuka Lake’s Biggest Fish Story” and “More Than Just a Fish Story” for YCHC’s Yates Past newsletter, even a descendant of Morse (whose daughter married the son of Admiral Frank H. Schofield) hasn’t been able to locate a photograph of her ancestor as an adult.

The closest that MacAlpine has come is a photo of the Penn Yan Cornet Band from the 1890s, with Morse identified as being in the group but not specifically identified as an individual. And the closest I can come to photographic evidence that Morse had a life beyond his escapade with the trout is a photograph from the YCHC collection of his daughter, Rosemary Morse Schofield.

It seems Harry didn’t like telling the story about his encounter with the fish, so he probably wouldn’t like me telling it here either. Just for context, though, in a nutshell: On August 27, 1873, seven-year-old Harry and his mother, Ione – widow of Civil War veteran Myron Morse – went fishing in a small boat near the shore of Brandy Bay on Keuka Lake. Ione had cast her line from one side of the boat, while Harry was fishing from the other side. Suddenly, she heard her son scream and saw a trout flopping on the bottom of the boat and then saw her son’s bloodied, frightened face. Apparently, Harry had leaned over the side of the boat at the same time the fish – weighing about 8 pounds – sprang out of the water and latched onto the boy’s nose. As Harry jumped up, the force threw the fish into the boat and left Harry with a gash on his nose.

While the story of Harry and the trout became a legend along Keuka Lake, across America, and around the world, Harry went on to live his life. He married Janet Wimbles, of Buffalo, and they produced one child, their daughter Rosemary. At age 26, Harry became a steamboat captain aboard the Mary Bell, considered a state-of-the-art craft for its time with a steel hull and twin propellers. It was also the fastest steamboat on the lake for the era and was described as the finest boat anywhere in New York State, with an interior of polished woodwork, fine upholstery, and brass fittings.

Harry once again gained notoriety on the lake during his tenure on the Mary Bell. On a cruise in 1893, a storm brewed as the boat neared The Point by Gibson’s Landing – the deepest and most treacherous spot on Keuka Lake, according to an article by John Robortella – and water began to slosh over the sides. When someone aboard shouted, “Don’t worry! Harry is at the wheel!” Booth Lowry, a poet from Mississippi visiting Yates County at the time, took the opportunity to capture the moment in verse. By the time Harry soundly docked the boat with all 500 passengers safe, Lowry had finished writing “Harry at the Wheel” as an ode the Harry’s skill as a steamboat captain.

Whether escaping local notoriety or seeking further adventure, Harry moved to Montana later in the 1890s and became a sheep rancher there. He returned to his hometown eight years later with an interest in moving picture shows. For five years, he leased and managed the Sampson Theater on Jacob Street (now East Elm, where the building still stands), and later he bought the Shearman House, a hotel on Elm Street, and opened it as the Elmwood Theater in 1921. Harry showed the first talking picture in Penn Yan at the Elmwood in 1929. He also eventually convinced village leaders to allow theater showings on Sundays.

A typewritten statement from our family files states Harry brought the first bicycle to Penn Yan in the 1880s or 1890s (the statement reads “1889’s,” either a likely typo or curious dating), and if that statement is true it only adds to the legend of Harry Morse. In his obituary, Harry is listed as living at 215 Chapel St., presumably at the intersection with Keuka Street, though that address doesn’t seem to exist anymore. He lived there with his mother and grandmother as well as his wife and daughter. He was part of the local Rotary Club and made a trip to Mexico City with the organization. Harry died at age 69 on January 14, 1936, a day after suffering what is described in his obituary as a cerebral hemorrhage. Janet and Rosemary survived him.

There is a profound and poignant part of Harry’s fishing exploit that endears me and perhaps gets lost in the excitement and unusualness. Myron Morse – Harry’s father, Ione’s husband, and a Civil War veteran – died August 25, 1872, almost exactly a year before Harry and Ione’s fishing adventure. “Mr. Morse was one of the soldiers of the Union Army against the great Rebellion, and it was while in the service of his country that he contracted the illness which settled upon him the fatal disease, consumption, of which he has been gradually wasting away,” Myron’s obituary states.

A year later, perhaps to celebrate her husband’s life and sooth her son’s grief, Ione took her son fishing on Keuka Lake for the day. Maybe she truly did enjoy fishing, or maybe she just went along with it because Harry liked fishing. Either way, a single, widowed mother was trying to raise her only child and fill a void in his life.

[semper-legens]

89. Spare, by Prince Harry

Owned: No, library Page count: 407 My summary: The memoir of Prince Harry - youngest son of Charles and Diana, spare to the throne. Join him as he recollects his young life, starting with the death of his mother and travelling through school, the army, royal commitment, and his marriage to Meghan Markle. My rating: 3/5 My commentary:

Hoo boy. A good few months ago, this was the hottest ticket at work. Everyone wanted to know what Prince Harry had to say about his family, about Meghan Markle, about Megxit, about everything that had happened between him and the rest of the royal family. Now, disclaimer here: I am absolutely anti-royal, but I believe that one of the best things an active member of the royal family can do is quit, and Harry did in fact do that. He still benefits from a ton of hereditary wealth and privilege, but of all the Windsors he seems the closest to realising what a bad thing that really is. Well, sort of. This memoir and this man confuse me deeply (which is why this post's going to be longer than average) and I'll explain why under the cut.

So first off - as I said, I find Harry to be the most sympathetic of the royals, and I did ultimately find him to come across as sympathetic here. Regardless of any other factors, the loss of your mother in such a traumatic way at such a young age is going to mess you up, particularly if you are forced to keep interacting with the thing that killed your mother; the paparazzi. Yes, there is a certain element that the royal family will naturally receive higher attentions from newspapers because of their status, but that shouldn't extend to hounding them literally everywhere. People are still entitled to a private life. And particularly later on, when he starts detailing the absolute nightmare the press put Meghan Markle through - there's some controversy about how accurate his claims are, which I'll get to in a minute, but you just need to have been in the UK when 'Megxit' was happening to know how terribly the media treated her. Especially in contrast to Kate Middleton, who was often praised for the exact same things they used to demonise Meghan. And the attitude of the Crown towards her and towards their children is despicable. Harry really comes across in these sections as a man genuinely baffled by how terribly his wife is being treated, and incredibly defensive of her, just trying to look out for his family and his wife. Which is commendable, honestly.

And yet. Especially in the earlier parts of the book, Harry pretty much presents himself as a spoiled little rich boy. He constantly namedrops people (So Meghan and I took the family to Elton John's house), and doesn't seem to understand some of the privilege he was accustomed to. He keeps referencing the places he's lived in, justifying them with 'oh, it's not a real palace' kind of thing, but like...it's still worth more than I'll ever see in my life. He justifies the wearing a Hitler costume incident or being caught on video saying racial slurs as him not knowing how bad it was - okay, sure, I can totally buy that his family are just that level of casually racist, but he was in his 20s at the time. He angsts about not being deployed in the Army because he's too high-profile a target (and therefore a bullet magnet) but not once does he seem to consider that yes, he is placing people's lives in danger just by being there, this isn't a game. And it's notable that, to hear him tell it, Harry never really did anything wrong and has always been a victim. People have come forward disputing some of Harry's claims, some of which cast him in a negative light - he's claimed that Meghan bought gifts for her staff and was generally kind, other people claimed that she had a habit of blanking people and that her behaviour was bullying and unpleasant. Ultimately, I wasn't there, I can't know what the truth truly is, especially since I don't trust sources close to the Crown. Still, it's safe to say that you should take anything Harry claims here with a pinch of salt, at least.

Finally, I want to touch on the writing style. Harry didn't write this himself, he hired a ghost writer instead. How much of the book is in his own words, or in the words of the ghost writer, is not known to me. What is known to me is that this book just feels like one of those terrible ghostwritten memoirs that are just a pageant of tragedies the person involved has gone through. Overly melodramatic prose that loops back around to being funny, repetition of the word 'mummy' roughly a thousand times, a bizarre passage where he does nothing but talk about his penis but insists on calling it his 'todger'...the list goes on. As I've said before, I don't want to ridicule the man, nor am I denying what he went through, particularly with regard to the loss of his mother. What I am saying is that this was perhaps not the best way to present this information. It reads like fiction, or like a trashy 'based-on-a-true-story' direct to video movie. It does not feel like the real experiences of a person who has been through a lot of trauma. More care should have been given to stop the book seeming like a storm of clichés; it really would have helped Harry's points come across more seriously, which I imagine is what he wanted.

Next up, a girl moves into a new home...but what waits for her across the street?