#It's a thoroughly unpleasant experience on about every level
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So because I've seen it compared to Worm, I started reading The Boys by Garth Ennis. It's bad! Like really bad! It feels like what would happen if you let an edgy anti-feminist atheist youtuber from 2015 write a comic book. I finished the first volume of the omnibus in large part because it was a train wreck I couldn't look away from, and am debating starting the second since I hate myself. The most interesting parts are actually the little forewords. Through them I learned both that it was supposed to be a comedy, and also a critique of the military industrial complex/police (or at least that people read it as one). This was surprising to me since it is neither funny nor incisive. Anyway, now I want to ramble incoherently about my problems with it because this goddamn comic broke my brain.
Okay, so one of the most common ways it shows you which characters you aren't supposed to like is by having them do comically "gross" sex stuff. Notable examples include cocaine fueled orgies, mentions of shitting during sex, bestiality, masturbating in public to the sight of disabled people, and a little person using sex toys. One that shows up repeatedly in this context is characters being bisexual or gay. Now, I don't wanna get controversial, but I think any claims that your work is a critique of capitalism, police, the military, or whatever are rendered moot when your villains are a group of secret hedonistic sex-freaks. Like we can't pretend that doesn't sound a lot like regressives and their obsession with "degeneracy". Sexual assaults, misogyny, and slurs also appear pretty often, mostly as the punch line for jokes. Victims are rendered down into objects and denied any sense of interiority so we can instead focus on what really matters (gore porn, and middle school 4chan posters' sense of humor). Never once does Ennis deign to explore the actual impact and trauma of these things, or ask why he views these things as material for jokes.
That incuriosity is I think the real problem with The Boys. There is no actual coherent thought about why things are bad. Superheroes hurt people and are wrong because of their personal moral failings as selfish perverts, not because their whole job is to violently enforce the will of the state. It's like if someone agreed that all cops are bastards, but only because all cops just so happened to be "bad apples". The main characters literally work for the fucking CIA, and yes, I know the titular Boys are at best meant to be anti-heroes a la the Punisher. My issue here isn't that they're hypocrites who are frequently also horrible. It's that this premise for is absolute nonsense if you think for half a second. Superheroes do not function without the legitimacy granted to them by the state and it's monopoly on violence, so why would the CIA need these 5 randos with zero oversight working to take out the supers? Is the force Homelander and the others can bring to bear so great that even the apparatus of that state can't deal with them? If so, why does this group of assholes change that? Normally I'd be willing to give the story a lot more of a pass when it comes to questions like this, except I'm being told that this story has things to say about systemic problems involving the government and corporations! So I have to ask, where? Where is the commentary? What does it actually have to say about the state of the world circa 2006-2012? The only answer I can come up with is "not a whole lot". It's a story which dares to ask the tough questions like "what if the world was made of pudding" and then ignore answering those questions so it can instead recite Ellis' favorite slurs in alphabetical order while showing you a woman's tits.
On a lighter note, it's also just not very good. The plot (as mentioned) falls apart under any amount of scrutiny, pacing is bizarre in a bad way, the characters aren't compelling, themes remains stubbornly unexplored, and Ellis is allergic to doing anything interesting or creative with the premise he's decided to base a whole comic around. I genuinely do not know what people enjoy(ed) about this comic.
#It's a thoroughly unpleasant experience on about every level#There was actually one moment I liked#and it was when the frenchman and the female (those are their names) are playing reverse strip poker#where they have to put on more and more layers of heavy clothing#that was a cute bit and made me do a neutral nose exhale#also people who compare it to Worm please show your work#because the math isn't mathing#is it just that they're darker superhero stories?#worm#worm wildbow#worm web serial#the boys#the boys comics#my meds are acting up so apologies for any incoherence#but also reading the boys just does that to your brain I think
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DDT Preview 3
...This next ‘family discussion’ won’t be as carefree as the first one. ^^
Something that’s going to start becoming apparent soon is the role Leon inhabits within this story-- it’s an archetype I like to call the ‘pushover parent’. A lot of stories with young protagonists just kill the parents off, or make them into NPCs in their own children’s lives…and while I recognize the validity of these choices, I think it’s more interesting to have them along for the ride as secondary characters. ^^ Which is why I invented this archetype.
The ‘pushover parent’ essentially recognizes the ‘protag potential’ of their child-- they know that the kid is burdened with special powers, or otherwise doomed to a particularly harsh, pressure-filled lifestyle, which they are powerless to change. So they become so thoroughly racked with guilt about the fact that their poor baby can’t have the peaceful, ordinary, safe life that they deserve, that they overcompensate by spoiling them (as much as they can, anyway). They are incredibly doting and forgiving, and often make a habit of lying in order to spare the child even the slightest bit of pain.
Of course, eventually the plot arrives, our kid protagonist has no choice but to start going through it, and the ‘pushover parent’ starts to feel even more powerless than before. In the end, they are hurt the most by any trials the child has to face-- on a meta level, they become the emotional outlet of the narrative, since the child in question is usually too innocent or too busy actively experiencing trauma to have a ‘proper’ reaction.
In this instance: Elfilin generally (and incorrectly...) has it in his head that he can ‘handle’ every unpleasant experience that comes his way; meanwhile Leon is clearly dying inside a little more each time. ^^ Needless to say, it’s a LOT of fun to write~
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The Secret to Better Shots: Professional Club Cleaning in Brisbane
Maintaining cleanliness in a club is no small feat. With high foot traffic, spilled drinks, and late-night revelry, clubs face unique cleaning challenges that require expert solutions. In Brisbane’s vibrant nightlife scene, a professionally cleaned club isn’t just about appearances—it’s essential for creating a safe, welcoming, and enjoyable environment. Here's why professional club cleaning in Brisbane is truly a game-changer.
Enhancing Guest Experience
The cleanliness of a club significantly impacts a guest’s overall experience. Sticky floors, unpleasant odours, or poorly maintained restrooms can quickly tarnish the reputation of even the most popular venues. Professional cleaning services ensure every corner of your club, from the dance floor to the VIP lounge, is spotless and inviting. A clean and well-maintained space leaves a lasting impression, encouraging repeat visits and positive reviews.
Ensuring Health and Safety
Clubs are hotspots for germs and bacteria due to their crowded nature and frequent touchpoints like bar counters, door handles, and restrooms. Professional cleaners use industry-grade products and techniques to sanitize these areas thoroughly, reducing the risk of illness among patrons and staff. This commitment to health and safety is particularly crucial in today’s environment, where cleanliness is a top priority for businesses.
Protecting Your Investment
Clubs often feature expensive flooring, furniture, and equipment that require specialized care. Professional cleaners have the expertise to handle these assets correctly, using appropriate cleaning methods and materials to avoid damage. Regular deep cleaning also extends the lifespan of your club’s interior, saving you money on repairs and replacements in the long run.
Time and Cost Efficiency
Running a club involves managing multiple tasks, and cleaning can easily become a time-consuming burden. Hiring professional cleaners allows club owners and staff to focus on operations and customer service instead of scrubbing floors or dealing with post-event messes. Moreover, professionals complete the job faster and more effectively, ensuring your club is ready for the next event without delays.
Elevating Your Club’s Reputation
In Brisbane’s competitive nightlife scene, maintaining a clean and hygienic venue can set your club apart. Patrons appreciate clubs that prioritize cleanliness, and this attention to detail can translate into higher foot traffic, better reviews, and increased revenue.
Professional pub cleaning services in Brisbane from Justin’s Groups Services PTY LTD isn’t just about keeping the place tidy—it’s a strategic investment in your pub’s success. By ensuring a safe, welcoming, and pristine environment, you elevate the guest experience, protect your assets, and enhance your pub’s reputation. Partner with professional cleaners today to take your club to the next level! Call +61 482 637 851 to have an estimate from them.
#affordable cleaning services#office cleaning#cleaning services#commercial cleaning#medical cleaning#Pub Cleaning Services in Brisbane
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Mobile Detail near me West Chester
Mobile Detail Near Me in West Chester: Professional Car Care at Your Doorstep
Maintaining a pristine vehicle is more than just a matter of aesthetics; it’s about preserving value and ensuring your car remains a joy to drive. If you’re in West Chester, mobile detailing services are more accessible than ever, thanks to companies like AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org. With expert mobile detailing, you can experience a comprehensive, professional clean for your car without ever leaving home. This guide will explore everything you need to know about “Mobile Detail near me West Chester” and how to make the most of these high-quality, convenient services.
What Is Mobile Detailing?
Mobile detailing is a service where professional detailer’s bring all the necessary equipment, products, and expertise to your location, whether it’s your home, office, or anywhere else that suits you. This means you can have your car cleaned and polished right in your driveway. Unlike a standard car wash, mobile detailing focuses on meticulous cleaning and restoring the vehicle to a near-new condition inside and out.
Benefits of Choosing Mobile Detailing
Time-Saving Convenience: Mobile detailing allows you to multitask, saving time by eliminating the need to drive to a physical location.
Attention to Detail: With mobile detailing, you receive a customized service that focuses on the specifics of your car’s condition and requirements.
Eco-Friendly Options: Many mobile detailers, including AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org, use eco-friendly products and techniques to ensure the safety of both your car and the environment.
Enhanced Value: A well-detailed car retains its value longer, and regular detailing can prevent costly repairs by preserving paint and upholstery quality.
Core Mobile Detailing Services Offered by AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org
AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org provides a range of professional mobile detailing services designed to meet various needs and preferences for car owners in West Chester. Here’s an overview of their essential services:
Exterior Detailing Services
Exterior detailing is essential for preserving your vehicle’s outer beauty and paint quality. Key exterior services include:
Hand Wash and Dry: Unlike automated car washes that can leave minor scratches, hand washing ensures a gentle, scratch-free clean.
Clay Bar Treatment: This process removes contaminants from the paint surface, such as tree sap, road tar, and metal particles, leaving a smooth finish.
Polishing and Waxing: Polishing restores your car’s shine, and waxing protects it from the elements, helping to prevent oxidation and fading.
Tire and Wheel Care: Rims and tires receive a deep clean and shine, which helps remove built-up dirt, brake dust, and road grime.
Interior Detailing Services
A clean interior not only improves the appearance of your car but also enhances your driving experience. AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org’s interior detailing services include:
Vacuuming: Every corner of the car, from seats to carpets, is thoroughly vacuumed to remove dirt, dust, and debris.
Steam Cleaning: Using steam to clean upholstery is effective at lifting tough stains and eliminating bacteria without harsh chemicals.
Leather Treatment: For leather interiors, conditioning treatments are applied to prevent cracking, fading, and other signs of wear.
Odor Removal: Specialized products neutralize unpleasant odors, leaving your car smelling fresh and inviting.
Specialty Detailing Services
AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org also offers advanced services to address specific needs or concerns, giving your car a level of care that goes beyond the basics:
Paint Correction: This technique removes light scratches and swirl marks, restoring a flawless, showroom-quality shine to your car’s exterior.
Headlight Restoration: Over time, headlights can become cloudy and dull, reducing visibility. Headlight restoration improves clarity and performance.
Engine Bay Cleaning: Although often overlooked, cleaning the engine bay can improve performance and reduce wear by removing accumulated dirt and grease.
Ceramic Coating: For long-term paint protection, ceramic coating provides a hard, durable layer that shields the car’s surface from environmental damage.
Why Choose AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org for Mobile Detail Near Me in West Chester?
If you’re searching for “Mobile Detail near me West Chester,” AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org is an ideal choice. Here are some key reasons to consider their services:
Professional Expertise
The technicians at AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org are skilled professionals with extensive training in automotive detailing. They understand the complexities of detailing different vehicle types, including specialty materials like leather, vinyl, and high-end paint finishes.
Eco-Friendly Practices
Sustainability is a priority for many customers, and AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org is committed to eco-friendly practices. They use environmentally safe cleaning products and methods that conserve water, making them an ideal choice for environmentally conscious car owners.
Transparent Pricing and Flexible Packages
AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org offers clear pricing with no hidden fees, and their detailing packages are designed to meet a wide range of budgets and needs. Whether you’re looking for a quick clean-up or a complete detailing package, you can find the right option for your car and budget.
Customer-Centric Service
At AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org, customer satisfaction is paramount. From easy booking to attentive service, they make sure every step of the detailing process is smooth and accommodating. Their team arrives punctually, ready to deliver high-quality service with a smile.
How to Maintain Your Car Between Detailing Services
Once you’ve invested in professional mobile detailing, there are a few ways to maintain that fresh, clean look between appointments: Top Priority Mobile Detailing –
Regular Hand Washing: Hand washing your car between detailing sessions keeps it looking great and prevents buildup of dirt and grime.
Avoid Harsh Sunlight: Parking in shaded areas when possible can help prevent fading and cracking of both the paint and interior materials.
Protect the Interior: Use seat covers, avoid eating in the car, and address spills quickly to prevent staining.
Keep It Covered: If you don’t have a garage, consider using a car cover to protect your vehicle from dust, bird droppings, and other environmental hazards.
These tips can help extend the effects of professional detailing, ensuring your car stays clean and well-preserved.
How to Book Mobile Detailing Services
Booking a mobile detailing service with AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org is a straightforward process. Their user-friendly website allows you to select your desired services, set up an appointment time that works for you, and even add any specific requests. For anyone in West Chester looking for a reliable “ceramic coating for cars in King of Prussia, PA,” their services provide unmatched convenience and quality.
Final Thoughts: Enhance Your Vehicle’s Appeal with Mobile Detail Near Me West Chester
Mobile detailing is an investment in your car’s longevity, value, and appearance. For car owners in West Chester, AutoDetailingWebsiteDesign.org offers convenient, professional, and eco-friendly detailing services right at your doorstep. With a broad range of packages and customized options, you can find the perfect detailing service to meet your car care needs. Experience the ease and quality of mobile detailing with “Mobile Detail near me West Chester” and drive a vehicle that looks as good as new every time.
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Ultimate Guide to Interior Car Detailing in Glendale: Services, Benefits, and Tips
Interior car detailing is essential when it comes to maintaining the look and feel of your vehicle. Professional detailing offers a solution whether you're looking to refresh your car's appearance, remove stains, or eliminate odours. In Glendale, drivers increasingly rely on interior detailing services to enhance their vehicle's value and comfort. This guide explores everything you need to know about Interior car detailing in Glendale, its benefits, and how you can access top-tier services in Glendale.
What is Interior Car Detailing?
Interior car detailing goes beyond the standard car wash. It thoroughly cleans all interior surfaces, including carpets, seats, dashboards, and other upholstery. Professionals use specialised tools and products to clean, sanitise, and restore your vehicle's interior, ensuring it looks and feels brand new.
Essential Services Offered in Interior Detailing
1. Vacuuming and Steam Cleaning:
All areas of your car, including floors, seats, and boots, are vacuumed to remove dirt, dust, and debris. Steam cleaning is used on fabric seats and carpets to remove deep-set dirt and stains.
2. Upholstery Cleaning:
Whether your car's interior features leather, fabric, or synthetic materials, professional detailing involves the deep cleaning and conditioning these surfaces to eliminate stains, restore appearance, and prevent wear and tear.
3. Dashboard, Console, and Panel Cleaning:
I am detailing services that clean every inch of the dashboard, console, and doors, removing dust, dirt, and grime while applying protective treatments to prevent future damage from UV exposure.
4. Window and Glass Cleaning:
Glass surfaces inside the car are thoroughly cleaned for a streak-free finish, ensuring better visibility and a polished look.
5. Odour Removal:
Professional odour removal techniques, such as ozone treatment or specialised sprays, eliminate unpleasant smells caused by food, pets, smoke, or mildew.
6. Leather Conditioning:
For vehicles with leather interiors, conditioning treatments are applied to restore softness and prevent cracking or fading over time.
Benefits of Interior Car Detailing
Improved Aesthetics:
A clean and well-maintained interior enhances your vehicle's overall look and feel, creating a more enjoyable driving experience.
Enhanced Air Quality:
Over time, dirt, allergens, and bacteria accumulate in your car's interior. Detailing removes these contaminants, improving the air quality inside your vehicle.
Increased Resale Value:
Regular detailing helps preserve your car’s interior, keeping it in top condition. This extends your vehicle's life and boosts its resale value when you’re ready to sell.
Protection Against Wear and Tear:
By conditioning leather seats, applying UV protection to dashboards, and removing dirt from fabrics, detailing services help prevent long-term wear and tear, preserving your car’s interior for years.
Why Choose Professional Interior Detailing in Glendale?
While DIY car cleaning can be effective for routine maintenance, professional interior detailing offers a deeper level of care. With advanced tools, techniques, and high-quality products, professionals can tackle stubborn stains, odours, and damages that regular cleaning cannot. Many experienced detailing services in Glendale offer convenient, expert care for your vehicle.
Finding the Right Interior Detailing Service in Glendale
When looking for interior detailing services in Glendale, consider the following factors:
Experience and Expertise:
Choose a detailer with proven experience and expertise in handling a variety of vehicles and interior materials.
Customisable Packages:
Look for services that offer customisable packages to select the specific treatments your car needs, whether deep cleaning or regular maintenance.
Eco-Friendly Practices:
Opt for detailers who use eco-friendly products and practices, ensuring your car is cleaned without harmful chemicals or excessive water usage.
Customer Reviews and Reputation:
Check online reviews or ask for recommendations to find a reputable service that prioritises customer satisfaction.
Conclusion
Interior car detailing is essential for maintaining comfort, cleanliness, and value. For Glendale residents, professional detailing services offer a convenient way to keep your car's interior looking its best. Whether preparing your vehicle for sale or simply enjoying a fresh, clean ride, investing in interior detailing is always a worthwhile decision.
#car detailing#car detailing services#car detailing company#interior car detailing#auto detailing glendale
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Sick of the Sticky Floors? Here is What's Going on
Are you tired of that sticky sensation under your feet, making every step feel like a struggle? We've all experienced it - sticky floors that seem to cling onto our shoes, holding us back from moving freely. Whether it's in your favorite restaurant, your cozy home, or your go-to store, sticky floors can quickly turn an enjoyable experience into a sticky situation.
In this article, we're going to unveil the hidden secrets to banishing sticky floors for good, ensuring clean, safe, and glue-free surfaces that you can confidently walk on.
Causes of Sticky Floors
You know that feeling when you walk across your floors and it's like your feet are glued to the ground? Yeah, that's the result of some sneaky culprits causing sticky floors. Let's uncover these mischief-makers, so you can tackle them head-on.
1. Improper cleaning techniques:
If you're using too much floor cleaner or not rinsing it off properly, you're setting the stage for sticky floors. It's all about finding the right balance. Use just enough cleaner and make sure to rinse it off thoroughly. Oh, and don't forget to change that mop water regularly to avoid spreading dirt around.
2. Use of the wrong type of floor cleaner:
Not all floor cleaners are same. Using a cleaner that's not suitable for your specific flooring type can leave behind sticky residues. So, be smart and choose a cleaner that's made for your type of floor. Check out MARBLEIFE's Marble & Stone Safe Streak-free Cleaner. It's the ticket to sparkly clean floors without any sticky aftermath.
3. Spills that are not cleaned up properly:
Oops, accidents happen. But leaving spills hanging around is just asking for trouble. Whether it's that coffee you spilled or the cleaning solution you accidentally sloshed, clean it up pronto! The longer you wait, the stickier it gets. So, grab a cloth or paper towel, and tackle those spills like a pro.
4. Foot traffic that tracks in dirt and grime:
We all love having guests over, but they can unknowingly bring in dirt and grime on their shoes. Before you know it, your floors are sporting that unpleasant stickiness. To combat this, why not consider implementing a "shoes-off" policy or strategically placing doormats at entrances? It's a simple trick to keep the dirt outside and maintain cleaner, less sticky floors.
5. Poor ventilation and humidity levels:
Humidity can wreak havoc on your floors, making them sticky and gross. And if you have poor ventilation, it's like trapping dirt and grime in a stuffy room. Yuck! To combat this sticky situation, open those windows, let the fresh air flow, and use fans to keep the air circulating. Your floors will thank you!
6. Inadequate maintenance:
We get it. Life gets busy, and sometimes we slack on maintenance. But neglecting regular cleaning routines and ignoring flooring damage can lead to a buildup of dirt and stickiness. So, make a commitment to keep up with your cleaning schedule and address any flooring issues promptly. It's all about staying on top of things for cleaner, less sticky floors.
Now that you know what's causing those sticky floors, it's time to take action. With the right cleaning techniques, suitable floor cleaner, quick spill cleanup, and a few preventive measures, you'll have your floors feeling smooth and non-sticky in no time. So, stay tuned as we dive into the consequences of sticky floors and why you'll want to kick them to the curb.
Consequences of Sticky Floors
Picture this: You're walking around your home, and with every step, you can feel that annoying stickiness beneath your feet. Well, buckle up because sticky floors come with a set of consequences that you'll want to avoid. Let's dive into what those consequences are, so you understand the importance of addressing this sticky situation.
1. Unpleasant walking experience:
Walking on sticky floors is like navigating through a glue trap. It's uncomfortable and can make you feel like you're stuck in one spot. Say goodbye to the smooth, effortless strides you're used to. Sticky floors turn your everyday walk into a sticky waltz that you never signed up for.
2. Increased risk of slips, trips, and falls:
Sticky floors aren't just an inconvenience; they can be downright dangerous. That sticky residue acts like a slippery trap, increasing the chances of slips, trips, and falls. This is especially concerning for the elderly or those with mobility issues. Avoiding sticky floors is a crucial step in maintaining a safe environment for yourself and your loved ones.
3. Negative impact on the overall aesthetic appeal:
Imagine having a beautifully decorated home or a business space that exudes professionalism. Now picture it with sticky floors. Not a pretty sight, is it? Sticky floors have a way of making any space
look dirty and unkempt. They can tarnish the aesthetic appeal you've worked so hard to achieve, leaving a less than impressive impression on guests or customers.
4. Potential damage to flooring materials:
Sticky floors don't discriminate; they can harm your precious flooring materials. The stickiness can seep into the surfaces, causing discoloration, staining, or even warping. This not only compromises the appearance of your floors but also leads to costly repairs or replacements down the line. Protect your investment by keeping your floors free from stickiness.
5. Decreased customer satisfaction and repeat business:
If you own a business, sticky floors can have a significant impact on your customer experience. Imagine a potential customer stepping into your establishment, only to encounter sticky floors at every turn. It's not the kind of impression you want to leave. Sticky floors can drive customers away and decrease repeat business. After all, who wants to come back to a place that doesn't prioritize cleanliness?
Now that you understand the consequences of sticky floors, it's clear that addressing this issue is essential. Stickiness isn't something to be taken lightly. So, let's explore effective solutions that will rescue you from the clutches of sticky floors. Don't worry; we've got your back!
Solutions to Address Sticky Floors
Now that we've explored the pesky causes and consequences of sticky floors, it's time to tackle them head-on with effective solutions. And guess what? MARBLELIFE has got you covered! With their range of top-notch cleaning products, you'll be saying goodbye to sticky floors in no time.
1. Implementing proper cleaning protocols: Start by establishing a routine cleaning schedule using the right products. Here's where MARBLELIFE Marble & Stone Safe Streak-free Cleaner comes in. It's specially formulated to be safe, easy to use, and highly effective in cleaning your natural stone surfaces. Simply spray it on, wipe it down, and give it a quick buff to enjoy a beautiful streak-free shine. This cleaner is designed with your safety and the preservation of your stone surfaces in mind.
2. MARBLELIFE Clean and Fresh Kitchen and Bathroom Care Kits: For all your kitchen and bathroom cleaning needs, MARBLELIFE offers their Clean and Fresh Kits. These kits are your secret weapons in tackling day-to-day messes and stubborn problems. Each kit contains a range of powerful cleaning solutions designed to make your cleaning tasks easy and safe.
1. Regular maintenance and prompt spill cleanup: Stay on top of your floor's maintenance needs by implementing regular cleaning and maintenance routines. Establish a system for reporting spills and ensure they are cleaned up promptly. Remember, the longer a spill sits, the more likely it is to result in sticky residue. By addressing spills immediately, you can prevent stickiness from setting in and maintain a clean and pleasant floor surface.
2. Improving ventilation and humidity control: Humidity and poor ventilation can contribute to sticky floors by trapping dirt and grime in the air, which eventually settles onto your floors. To combat this, consider improving ventilation by opening windows or using fans to circulate fresh air. Additionally, monitor humidity levels and use dehumidifiers if necessary. Creating a well-ventilated environment will help reduce stickiness and keep your floors cleaner for longer.
3. Using preventive measures: Prevention is key to maintaining clean and non-sticky floors. Here are a few measures you can take:
Place doormats at entrances: Welcome guests and family members with doormats to trap dirt and debris from their shoes before they enter your home. This simple step can significantly reduce the amount of dirt that makes its way onto your floors.
Implement a "shoes-off" policy: Encourage family members and guests to remove their shoes when entering your home. This practice helps prevent the tracking in of dirt and grime, keeping your floors cleaner and less sticky.
Conclusion
Use MARBLELIFE's Marble & Stone Safe Streak-free Cleaner for a sparkling clean without residue. Address spills promptly, maintain regular maintenance, and improve ventilation to prevent stickiness. Embrace preventive measures like doormats and a "shoes-off" policy to keep dirt at bay.
With these solutions in your arsenal, you can say goodbye to sticky floors and hello to a cleaner, safer, and more enjoyable living space.
So, take charge today! Put these solutions into action and experience the joy of walking on non-sticky floors. Don't let stickiness hold you back from enjoying your space to the fullest. Embrace the cleanliness, safety, and freedom that come with clean floors.
Visit our website https://marblelife.com/ to explore the full range of solutions and bring the magic of clean floors to your home.
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Drive with Confidence: Your Guide to MOT Centres in Wolverhampton
In the bustling city of Wolverhampton, where vehicles weave through its vibrant streets, ensuring your car's roadworthiness is a responsibility that every driver must uphold. The Ministry of Transport (MOT) test is a pivotal aspect of this responsibility, and Wolverhampton offers a variety of MOT centres to cater to the diverse needs of its drivers. This guide navigates through the essentials, offering a comprehensive look at wolverhampton mot centre near me and providing insights to help you drive with confidence.
1. Understanding the MOT Test: A Vital Safety Check
Before delving into the realm of MOT centres, it's crucial to understand the significance of the MOT test. This annual examination assesses the safety, emissions, and overall roadworthiness of your vehicle. Components such as brakes, lights, steering, suspension, and exhaust systems are thoroughly examined to ensure compliance with safety standards. Wolverhampton's MOT centres play a pivotal role in this process, providing a critical service that contributes to road safety and environmental protection.
2. Choosing the Right MOT Centre: Factors to Consider
With several MOT centres scattered across Wolverhampton, selecting the right one for your needs is essential. Consider factors such as reputation, accreditation, and customer reviews when making your choice. Reputable MOT centres often display certifications and employ qualified technicians to conduct thorough examinations. Reading customer reviews provides insights into the experiences of others, helping you make an informed decision. Additionally, proximity to your location and the availability of appointment slots are practical considerations to streamline the process.
3. Comprehensive Testing Services: Beyond the Basics
While the MOT test covers fundamental aspects of your vehicle's functionality, choosing a centre that offers comprehensive testing services can be advantageous. Some MOT centres in Wolverhampton go beyond the basics, providing additional checks and services. These may include engine diagnostics, brake fluid checks, and assessments of more intricate components. Opting for a centre that offers a comprehensive range of services ensures a thorough examination of your vehicle, addressing potential issues before they escalate.
4. Transparent Pricing: Avoiding Unpleasant Surprises
Understanding the pricing structure of MOT centres is crucial to avoid unexpected costs. Reputable centres in Wolverhampton are transparent about their pricing, providing a breakdown of fees and potential additional charges. Some may offer packages that include minor repairs, making the process more streamlined and cost-effective. Before committing to an MOT centre, inquire about their pricing policies to ensure that you are aware of the costs involved.
5. Online Booking Systems: Convenience at Your Fingertips
In the digital age, convenience is a key consideration for many drivers. Opting for an MOT centre in Wolverhampton that offers online booking systems can save you time and effort. With just a few clicks, you can schedule your MOT test at a time that suits your schedule. Online platforms often provide a user-friendly interface, allowing you to select available time slots, receive confirmation, and even receive reminders as the appointment date approaches. This convenience simplifies the process and encourages timely compliance with MOT requirements.
6. Customer Service Excellence: A Mark of Reliability
Customer service is a vital aspect of any MOT centre's reputation. A centre that prioritizes customer satisfaction is likely to be reliable and trustworthy. Friendly and knowledgeable staff, clear communication, and a commitment to resolving customer queries contribute to a positive experience. Reading customer testimonials or seeking recommendations from fellow drivers in Wolverhampton can provide insights into the level of customer service offered by different MOT centres.
Conclusion:
In conclusion, driving with confidence in Wolverhampton involves navigating the MOT testing process with ease and assurance. Choosing the right MOT centre is a crucial step in this journey, and considering factors such as reputation, comprehensive testing services, transparent pricing, online booking systems, and customer service excellence can guide you toward a reliable choice. Wolverhampton's MOT centres play a pivotal role in maintaining road safety standards and ensuring that vehicles on its streets are in prime condition. By selecting a reputable MOT centre that aligns with your preferences, you contribute not only to your safety but also to the overall well-being of Wolverhampton's dynamic automotive community. Drive with confidence, knowing that your vehicle has undergone a thorough examination at a trusted MOT centre, allowing you to navigate the city's roads with peace of mind.
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Keeping It Spotless: The Importance of Commercial Gym Cleaners
Maintaining cleanliness in a commercial gym is not just about aesthetics—it's essential for the health and safety of gym-goers. Commercial gym cleaners play a vital role in ensuring that fitness facilities are safe, hygienic, and inviting. In this blog, we'll explore the importance of professional commercial gym cleaners.
1. Infection Prevention: Commercial gyms are high-traffic areas where people come in close contact with shared equipment. Proper cleaning and sanitization can help prevent the spread of illnesses, including bacterial and viral infections like colds and flu.
2. Hygiene and Cleanliness: A clean gym is a hygienic gym. Sweating, body oils, and germs can accumulate on fitness equipment and surfaces. Commercial gym cleaners near me ensure that all surfaces are thoroughly cleaned, reducing the risk of skin infections and allergic reactions.
3. Equipment Longevity: Regular cleaning and maintenance of gym equipment can extend its lifespan. Dust, dirt, and sweat can cause wear and tear over time, leading to costly repairs or replacements.
4. Odor Control: The buildup of sweat and bacteria can result in unpleasant odors in a gym. Professional gym cleaners use effective cleaning products that neutralize odors, creating a more pleasant workout environment.
5. Appearance Matters: A clean and well-maintained gym is more attractive to members and potential clients. It reflects positively on the gym's reputation and professionalism.
6. Safety First: Accidents can happen in gyms, and cleanliness plays a role in preventing them. Spills or slippery surfaces can lead to slips and falls. Proper cleaning and maintenance help minimize these risks.
7. Member Satisfaction: Cleanliness is a top priority for gym members. When they see a gym that is consistently clean and well-maintained, they are more likely to feel satisfied with their membership and continue their fitness journey.
8. Compliance with Regulations: Many regions have regulations and health codes that require gyms and fitness facilities to maintain a certain level of cleanliness and hygiene. Commercial gym cleaners ensure that the gym remains compliant with these regulations.
9. Professional Expertise: Commercial gym cleaners are trained and experienced in cleaning fitness environments. They know which areas need special attention and have access to the right cleaning products and equipment.
10. Time and Convenience: Outsourcing gym cleaning to professionals saves time and resources for gym owners and staff. It allows them to focus on other aspects of running the facility while leaving the cleaning to experts.
11. Thoroughness: Commercial gym cleaners pay attention to detail, ensuring that every nook and cranny, including hard-to-reach areas and high-touch surfaces, is cleaned and sanitized.
12. Customized Cleaning Plans: Professional Gym Cleaners offer customized cleaning plans tailored to the gym's specific needs and schedule. This flexibility ensures that the gym remains clean and ready for use at all times.
In conclusion, Commercial Gym Cleaners play a crucial role in maintaining a safe, hygienic, and attractive fitness environment. From infection prevention to member satisfaction, their services contribute to the overall success of gyms and fitness centers. Investing in professional gym cleaning services ensures that gym-goers can enjoy a clean and healthy workout experience.
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Keeping Your Kitchen Sparkling: Our Kitchen Cleaning Services
Welcome to Hawaii Natural Clean, your trusted partner in maintaining a pristine and healthy living environment. We understand that the kitchen is the heart of your home, where meals are prepared and cherished memories are made. It's crucial to keep this space not only visually appealing but also free from harmful germs and bacteria. Our Kitchen Cleaning Services are designed to make your kitchen sparkle, and we're here to tell you how.
The Importance of a Clean Kitchen
A clean kitchen is more than just a tidy space; it's a place where you and your family can enjoy healthy meals without worrying about contaminants or allergens. Over time, grease, grime, and food particles can accumulate in your kitchen, leading to unpleasant odors and potential health hazards.
Our Expertise in Detailing
At Hawaii Natural Clean, we specialize in detailing your kitchen to perfection. Our team of experienced professionals is well-equipped to handle the toughest cleaning challenges, from grease-stained countertops to grimy stovetops. We pay special attention to those hard-to-reach areas, ensuring no nook or cranny is left untouched.
What Our Kitchen Cleaning Services Include
Grout Cleaner Excellence: We use the best grout cleaner in the industry to restore the luster of your tiled kitchen floors and backsplashes. Say goodbye to stubborn stains and discolored grout lines.
Deep Cleaning Magic: Our deep cleaning services go beyond surface cleaning. We get into the crevices, ensuring that every inch of your kitchen is thoroughly cleaned.
Window Washing: We offer window cleaning services to let in natural light and keep your kitchen looking its best.
Bathroom Tile Cleaner: We understand that kitchen and bathroom cleaning often go hand in hand. Our expertise extends to bathroom tile cleaning, ensuring a consistent level of cleanliness throughout your home.
Benefits of Choosing Hawaii Natural Clean
Residential and Commercial Services: Whether you need kitchen cleaning for your home or commercial kitchen, we have you covered.
Local Cleaning Services: We are your local cleaning experts in Hawaii, dedicated to serving our community with top-notch cleaning services.
Healthier Living: A clean kitchen means a healthier environment for your family, reducing the risk of foodborne illnesses and allergies.
Contact Us for a Sparkling Kitchen
Don't let a dirty kitchen compromise the comfort and well-being of your home. Contact Hawaii Natural Clean today for the best in house cleaning services, including our specialized kitchen cleaning services. We offer a variety of packages to suit your needs, and our team is always ready to answer your questions and provide a free quote.
Contact Information:
Phone: +1(808) 269-7636
Email: [email protected]
Business Hours: Everyday 7am – 7pm
With our dedication to quality, attention to detail, and commitment to using eco-friendly cleaning solutions, you can trust Hawaii Natural Clean to keep your kitchen sparkling and your home healthy. Experience the difference of a professionally cleaned kitchen today!
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Revitalize Your Home with Regular and Deep Cleaning Services in North Bay
Maintaining a clean and organized home is essential for creating a healthy and inviting environment. While regular cleaning tasks can help keep your space tidy, there are times when a deeper clean is necessary to tackle built-up dirt, grime, and hidden allergens. In North Bay, residents have access to professional cleaning services that offer both regular and deep cleaning options. In this blog post, we will explore the benefits of hiring a regular cleaning service and delve into the transformation power of deep cleaning in North Bay.
Regular Cleaning Service in North Bay
Regular Cleaning Service: Keeping Your Home Fresh and Tidy
A regular cleaning service is a convenient and time-saving solution for busy individuals or households that prefer to have their cleaning tasks taken care of by professionals. These services typically offer recurring cleaning appointments, such as weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly, depending on your needs.
By hiring a regular cleaning service in North Bay, you can enjoy a multitude of benefits. Professional cleaners are equipped with the necessary expertise, tools, and cleaning agents to effectively tackle dust, dirt, and grime in every nook and cranny of your home. They can clean and disinfect bathrooms, wipe down surfaces, vacuum and mop floors, dust furniture, and even take care of tasks like making beds and doing laundry. With their meticulous attention to detail, they ensure that your home remains fresh and tidy, allowing you to relax and enjoy your free time without worrying about the cleanliness of your space.
Deep Cleaning Service: Restoring Your Home's Sparkle
While regular cleaning services help maintain cleanliness on a surface level, deep cleaning service in North Bay are designed to thoroughly clean and revitalize your home. Over time, dirt, dust, and allergens can accumulate in hard-to-reach areas, leading to unpleasant odors and potential health hazards. Deep cleaning targets these hidden areas, providing a comprehensive and intensive cleaning experience.
Deep cleaning services in North Bay go beyond routine cleaning tasks. Professional cleaners will focus on areas often overlooked during regular cleaning, such as behind appliances, inside cabinets, and underneath furniture. They may also tackle tasks like cleaning windows, shampooing carpets, and deep scrubbing hard floors to remove stubborn stains and grime.
The benefits of deep cleaning extend beyond aesthetics. It helps eliminate allergens, mold, and bacteria, creating a healthier living environment for you and your family. Furthermore, deep cleaning can enhance indoor air quality, reduce the risk of respiratory issues, and even extend the lifespan of your furniture and flooring.
Conclusion
Maintaining a clean and healthy home is made easy with the availability of regular and deep cleaning services in North Bay. Whether you need ongoing cleaning support or a one-time intensive cleaning session, these professional services are equipped to meet your needs. By investing in regular cleaning, you can enjoy a consistently fresh and tidy home, while deep cleaning services will help restore your space's sparkle and promote a healthier living environment. Take advantage of these services to save time, reduce stress, and create a welcoming haven for yourself and your loved ones in North Bay.
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Reviving Your Footwear: The Art and Benefits of Professional Shoe Shine Services
In a world where appearances matter, well-maintained footwear plays a crucial role in making a lasting impression. Professional shoe shine services offer a solution to those seeking to revive the luster of their favorite pairs. This article delves into the art and benefits of entrusting your shoes to skilled specialists. From the meticulous process involved in restoring footwear to the numerous advantages of professional shoe shine services, discover why this age-old practice continues to thrive in the modern world.
Shoe shining is more than just a mundane chore—it is a meticulous art form. Skilled shoe shine specialists possess a deep understanding of various shoe materials and the products and techniques required to rejuvenate them. From leather to suede, each material demands specific attention to restore its original beauty. The process involves steps such as cleaning, conditioning, polishing, and buffing, all executed with precision and care. By employing a combination of quality polishes, creams, and brushes, these experts bring out the natural shine and color of the shoes. It is a craft that requires patience, expertise, and an eye for detail.
Professional shoe shines go beyond surface-level cleaning. They restore the shoes' visual appeal, making them look newer and well-maintained. A well-shined pair of shoes exudes professionalism, sophistication, and attention to detail, enhancing your overall appearance and leaving a positive impression on others.
Regular shoe shining not only makes your footwear look great but also helps to preserve their quality. The cleaning and conditioning process remove dirt, dust, and grime that can degrade the materials over time. Additionally, the application of shoe polish creates a protective layer that guards against scratches, cracks, and moisture damage. By investing in professional shoe shine services, you can significantly extend the lifespan of your beloved footwear.
Shoe shining involves more than just aesthetics. During the process, shoes are thoroughly cleaned, eliminating bacteria and odors that can accumulate over time. This promotes foot hygiene and helps prevent issues such as fungal infections and unpleasant odors. A clean and well-maintained pair of shoes contributes to overall foot health and comfort.
Professional shoe shine services save you time and effort. Instead of spending hours researching and experimenting with DIY techniques, you can simply entrust your shoes to the experts. Drop off your shoes and let them handle the intricate process while you focus on other tasks. Conveniently located shoe shine shops or services in shopping centers, airports, or business districts offer a quick and efficient solution for busy individuals.
Different shoe materials require specific care and attention. Leather shoes, for instance, benefit from regular conditioning to keep them supple and prevent cracking. Suede shoes, on the other hand, require specialized cleaning techniques to remove stains and restore their soft texture. Professional shoe shine services understand these nuances and employ tailored methods for each material, ensuring optimal results and preserving the integrity of your shoes.
Professional shoe shine services are not just about making your footwear look good—they are a gateway to maintaining the longevity, appearance, and hygiene of your shoes. Through the artistry of skilled specialists, your shoes can be transformed into polished statements of personal style. By entrusting your shoes to professionals, you save time, enjoy convenience, and experience the expertise required to bring out the best in your footwear. Discover the benefits of professional shoe shines and step into a world where every stride makes a confident impression.
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Contact : (212) 867 7156
Source link-https://cobblerexpress.blogdigy.com/elevate-your-style-discover-the-transformational-power-of-professional-shoe-shine-services-34299784
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Deep House Cleaning in Bangalore: Transforming Your Home into a Pristine Haven
Keeping your home clean and organized is essential for a healthy and comfortable living environment. While regular cleaning routines can maintain a basic level of cleanliness, sometimes you need more than just a surface-level clean. That's where deep house cleaning services in Bangalore come in. These professional services offer a thorough and comprehensive cleaning experience that will transform your home into a pristine haven.
What is Deep House Cleaning?
Deep house cleaning goes beyond the standard cleaning tasks. It involves a detailed and systematic approach to tackle dirt, grime, and hidden allergens that accumulate over time. Deep cleaning services in Bangalore typically include the following:
Intensive Dusting: Every nook and cranny of your home, including hard-to-reach areas, is thoroughly dusted to eliminate dust mites, allergens, and dirt buildup.
Floor and Surface Cleaning: All types of flooring, whether it's hardwood, tile, or carpet, are meticulously cleaned and sanitized. Surfaces, such as countertops, shelves, and furniture, are also given special attention to remove stains, marks, and fingerprints.
Kitchen Cleaning: The kitchen is a high-traffic area that requires extra care. Deep cleaning includes degreasing and sanitizing kitchen appliances, cabinets, and countertops. Inside and outside of ovens, microwaves, and refrigerators are thoroughly cleaned, eliminating any food residues or unpleasant odors.
Bathroom Sanitization: Bathrooms are notorious for harboring germs and bacteria. Deep cleaning services target areas such as toilets, showers, bathtubs, sinks, and tiles, ensuring a hygienic and fresh bathroom environment.
Window and Glass Cleaning: Windows, glass doors, and mirrors are cleaned using streak-free solutions, leaving them spotless and crystal clear.
Upholstery and Carpet Cleaning: Deep cleaning services often include upholstery and carpet cleaning. Professional equipment is used to remove deep-seated dirt, stains, and allergens, restoring the freshness and appearance of your furniture and carpets.
Benefits of Deep House Cleaning in Bangalore:
Comprehensive Clean: Deep house cleaning services provide a thorough and meticulous cleaning experience that reaches areas often overlooked during regular cleaning routines. This helps to eliminate hidden allergens, dirt, and grime, promoting a healthier living environment.
Time-Saving: Deep cleaning can be a time-consuming and labor-intensive process. Hiring professional cleaners in Bangalore allows you to save time and energy, as the experts handle the entire deep cleaning process efficiently and effectively.
Professional Expertise and Equipment: Deep cleaning services employ trained professionals who have the expertise, experience, and knowledge to deliver exceptional results. They use specialized equipment, high-quality cleaning agents, and techniques to ensure a deep and thorough clean.
Fresher and Healthier Home: Deep cleaning removes accumulated dust, dirt, and allergens, improving indoor air quality and reducing the risk of respiratory issues. A clean and fresh home promotes a healthier and more comfortable living environment for you and your family.
Choosing a Deep House Cleaning Service in Bangalore:
When selecting a deep home cleaning service in Bangalore, consider the following:
Reputation and Reviews: Look for service providers with a solid reputation and positive customer reviews. This indicates their reliability and the quality of their services.
Services Offered: Ensure that the deep cleaning service you choose covers all the areas and tasks you require. Discuss your specific needs and expectations before hiring a service provider.
Pricing and Packages: Inquire about pricing structures and the details of the cleaning packages offered. Compare different providers to find the one that offers the best value for your investment.
Safety Measures: Confirm that the cleaning service follows safety protocols and uses environmentally friendly cleaning products.
Deep house cleaning services in Bangalore can transform your home into a spotless and refreshing sanctuary. With their expertise and thorough approach, these professional cleaners will leave no stone unturned, giving you the satisfaction of a clean and organized living space. Invest in deep house cleaning and enjoy the benefits of a healthier, more comfortable home environment.
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How the Brothers Hunt Humans (Cause They’re Demons)
They say in a well crafted story, every word has a purpose. Every sentence is imbued with intent and meaning to the broader work as a whole, but what does that say about the italics blurb…? The blurb has no connection to the story below it, no grand plot to divulge, not even a lesson to impart... It is, in a sense, absolutely meaningless to this composition... Meaningless in its very purpose…
Warnings: Uh… Demons eating people?? And all that implies??
Lucifer
Lucifer doesn't like to… indulge in his baser instincts very often. Hunting befits demons more inferior than himself - it's dirty, nasty business really…
But there are times when he finds himself up in the human world and whatever mortal slop he gets offered just doesn't cut it for him… Then he may get himself an actually appetizing snack.
Though he could easily overpower any prey he comes across, such brutish tactics are really beneath him. He'd much rather his meals come with him willingly. He sees it almost like a game, how thoroughly can he ensnare his target without using magic to speed things up?
A lot of mortals aren't prepared for the beauty and elegance of the firstborn demon when he approaches. After a few hours of charming conversation, he can get almost any one of them to follow him anywhere. No command necessary (unless they’re into that sort of thing).
Once he gets them alone, all that's left is for him to deliver the kill. If he is hungry, he may make it quick. If not then well… he is a sadist after all...
The one satisfaction he always allows himself, however, is watching his prey's eyes widen when he finally releases his true form and all its glory… So many of them ask if he’s an angel…
He loves nothing more than proving them horribly, horribly wrong.
Mammon
Mammon actually doesn't enjoy hunting as much… He’ll rarely do it just to eat. A human has to really piss him off first.
But if they do… oh buddy, he’s a nightmare.
Mammon's more or less a master at staying out of sight when he wants to and there's no way a mortal’s senses could ever hope to keep up with him in the first place.
Once he's settled on a target, he'll tail them from afar. Usually sticking to high places that humans would never think to look, like rooftops or phone poles.
As he watches, he lets his crows start to gather and follow them as well. It's amazing how unsettled humans get when they notice an unusual amount of birds just… staring at them.
Eventually, when they're alone, he'll throw his first knife. Usually, he’ll aim right by their head or next to their ear so they hear it whizz by.
After they start to run he throws another - and another. Again and again, each one getting closer until they’re slicing skin and drawing blood from his target. The blood always gets his familiars riled up and they’ll start making caw-like screeches in the air around them.
When he's finally had enough of the human running, he'll throw two knives into the back of their knees to stop them then let them lay there. If someone finds them and tries to help, then he'll let them off like it's a warning but if not… Well, why let a perfectly good meal go to waste right?
Leviathan
Levi's more at home in the water so he'll mostly go for humans while they're out swimming.
He's not all about that psychological stuff like his brothers but he is a patient guy. Since he can breath underwater, he can lie in wait indefinitely...
Once he singles out a target, he'll follow then deep below the surface of the water. He keeps his body so far down they have no hope of seeing him coming, but his demonic eyes can keep track of them no problem.
He either waits until his prey has swam out a good ways or has gotten tired enough to tread water for a while… then he strikes.
He'll dart up and drag them underwater by the waist or backstrap. It usually happens so fast that his prey barely has time to shout before they're submerged, much less hold their breath.
He normally doesn't bother fighting them. He can just keep dragging them deeper and deeper until they succumb to the pressure or the water in their lungs... Low effort and effective.
He has to eat them pretty quick, though, because once the body gets too… "waterlogged" it becomes seriously unappetizing… Fresh bodies over bloated, hands down.
Satan
Oh man… being hunted by Satan is truly harrowing.
Satan takes all that stuff Lucifer says about hunting being for "lesser beings" and spits it right in his face. Hunting for Satan serves more than just a function, it's a catharsis.
He prefers to stick to forested or wild areas more because he'll mostly go after hikers, campers, or even other "hunters" for added challenge.
When Satan selects a target, he'll just linger close to his prey… long enough for them to feel like something’s watching them… and then growl. It's a low, menacing, unearthly growl that most mortals can’t even comprehend…
And then the chase is on. If he’s feeling charitable, he'll let them get a 5 or 6 minute head start, but then he's right on their heels.
When he’s hunting, he hardly even resembles Satan anymore. His movements are more like a beast than a man… Truly a demon on its most primal level.
If he catches them, it's over. Sometimes he’ll shred them into so many pieces he doesn’t even leave enough for him to eat… So then he’s got to find another and repeat the process all over again. Such a pity...
Asmodeus
Really, Asmo dislikes hunting even more than Mammon and he rarely, rarely does it. He's more of a… "social hunter."
If one of his brothers is out on the prowl then he may join in, but he just doesn't see the appeal really. It's so messy and unpleasant…
Asmo is actually far more likely to get really into it when making love to a human and just like… take a bite out of them...
Like, that sounds bad, but he usually doesn't mean to. He just loses himself in the moment and wants to experience everything he can about his partner. Everything. Blood exchange or even light cannibalism during demonic sex is a perfectly normal, but not so much for humans…
Naturally, uninitiated humans tend not to react well when their partner suddenly takes a chunk out of their shoulder, so more often than not he has to to finish the job…
Honestly, he finds those experiences more embarrassing than enjoyable and tries his best to avoid them… Thankfully, this is a pretty rare occurrence because his brothers usually tease him relentlessly if they ever find out. At least when they feed, it’s on purpose!
Beelzebub
Beel is not allowed to hunt humans because Beel doesn't hunt. He massacres.
If Beel was ever set loose in a heavily-populated human city there wouldn't be anyone left come midnight - and possibly no building either.
There's no tactics, no planning, not even a bit subtly - it's just devour and consume until there's nothing left.
Beel's time in the human world is always kept limited for this reason… Belphie might have threatened humanity at one point but Beel IS a threat to humanity, period.
Belphegor
Belphie is an eternally lazy soul. He doesn't want to chase humans or deal with their pitiful begging if he can avoid it… so he usually goes for the sleeping ones.
It's pretty simple for him really. If a human's already asleep, all he has to do is make that sleep a little deeper (well within his powers as Sloth) and then they're sitting ducks.
He's not picky about his targets. Even someone passed out on the subway would work just fine for him if he can get away with it.
Sometimes he'll also look for unlocked houses in the night… If he lucks out and there's just one human inside then he gets a meal and a bed. That’s twice the treat for him!
Thankfully, his appetite gets pretty suppressed due to his constant exhaustion… Otherwise humans would have a lot more to fear than sleep paralysis at night…
#obey me#obey me shall we date#shall-we-date-obey-me#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#just a friendly reminder#they're demons#tw: violence#tw: vore#???#demonic behavior?#what do you even tag this#dark shit?
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Coffee & Donuts
Summary: Arthur’s thrilled to be part of a crowd. Though the evening doesn’t go perfectly, Y/N’s flirtations make it sweet.
Warnings: Smut
Words: 4,602
A/N: Alright. After the heart wrenching angst of my last piece (which I love, by the way; don't get me wrong! 😂), I had to write another story in which Arthur and Y/N are happy and together. It's inspired by one of Arthur's visions during their kiss. I hope you all like it! Special thanks to @jokerownsmysoul for beta-ing!
If you have any thoughts or questions, please comment, feel free to message me, or send me an ask. Requests for Arthur and WWH are open!
Parties and celebrations weren't foreign to Arthur. He'd worked plenty, enough to make him realize what he'd been missing out on. He was well-versed in pin the tail on the donkey, musical chairs, and balloon animals. But as an adult, those activities didn't satisfy. He wanted to be included rather than paid. Connect with people, introduce himself. Discuss his experiences and pursuits. Feel sufficiently at ease to loosen up a little and have a good time.
Now he was a guest - a certified guest - at Patricia Gorman's fifty-sixth birthday party. The first party he'd been invited to since being the weird kid in class who'd rotated between three worn out sweaters and could never afford a gift.
He'd been a tad apprehensive about going to Burnside. Gotham's nicest borough had a reputation for high rents and low tolerance. When Y/N and he had entered 2E, however, Patricia's greeting ("You made it!") and the apartment were thoroughly welcoming. Crocodile brown walls and forest green shag carpet made the spacious living room a cozy hideaway. Marigolds leapt across the polyester of the T-cushion sofa and its easy-chair companion. The floor lamp's amber, crimped glass shades cast the spacious living room in a glow borrowed from warm autumn days.
Patricia's husband, Robert, was out on an emergency call. An HVAC had gone haywire in a residential building in Hinckley. Her daughter, son-in-law, and grandson had been by for lunch. That meant the only other guests were Matt - Y/N's old boss - and a bottle-blonde in a black halter dress and spike heels, who Y/N introduced as Laura. ("She's Matt's ex-wife," Y/N later disclosed. "He's been trying to win her back since I moved to Gotham.") Both shook Arthur's hand when he offered it, and he felt a little thrill whirl his stomach when Y/N laid claim to him by telling the woman, "This is my husband."
A collection of appetizers served as dinner, a fun and novel menu. The slow cooker meatballs Y/N and he had lugged over on the subway were a bit tangy; he still couldn't believe the recipe called for grape jelly. The deviled eggs with paprika, a pleasant mix of savory and sweet, was a dish he'd heard about on television. Cream cheese and cucumber sandwiches were light and airy, a good match for his iced tea. Only the artichoke and spinach dip gave him pause. Its beans and hot sauce made his taste buds wince.
That unpleasant flavor was quickly forgotten when Y/N pulled him to sit next to her on the sofa, so Patricia could open her presents. She proudly showed off the orange, clay ashtray her grandson had made for her. Arthur, having successfully kept the secret of her light smoking from Y/N, chuckled at Patricia fibbing she'd put candy in it. She thanked Matt and Laura for the champagne, wrapped in a silver bow with a simple "Happy Birthday" tag. The bottle wasn't popped. Upon peeking into the large giftbag Y/N placed on her lap, she made a soft sound. The Dazey whirlpool bath, which attached to the side of the tub and had three strength settings, was a hit. She announced her plans to try it in the morning. The dark blue Rexbuilt briefbag was intended to replace her cracked, leather briefcase, Y/N explained. Patricia ran her fingertips along the expanding inner compartments, the personalized planner that included the credential "CLA" after her name, and flipped through the included steno pads, eyes brimming.
She sipped at her cocktail and put an arm around Y/N. Melancholy tinged Patricia's voice. "At my age, the people in your life tend to stay the people in your life. Whether you like them or not." She reached further and patted Arthur's knee. "I'm glad an old dame like me gets to call you all friends." His throat clenched in gratification, though he wasn't daring enough to squeeze her hand and thank her for deciding he was a friend.
Still on top of the world an hour later, Arthur sauntered to the red and white enamel dining table to serve himself a second slice of upside-down pineapple cake. The evening had gone well, better than a guy with a natural inability to mingle could've expected. He bobbed his head to the beat of "Come Fly with Me." It was a happy coincidence that Patricia's taste in music aligned with his. She'd regaled him with tales of seeing Sinatra and Count Basie on her and Robert's honeymoon in Vegas. Arthur took a bite absentmindedly, wondering how long it would take for him to save the money to surprise Y/N with plane and concert tickets.
The daydreaming didn't last long. Matt's plodding footsteps preceded him, followed by a long sigh as he propped himself on the beige stone of the dining area's accent wall, across from the u-shaped kitchen. He held out a Budweiser and smirked. "Marriage is a hell of a lot of work."
Pleased that he was being treated like one of the guys, like a regular husband with a regular relationship who got to speak about his regular wife, Arthur accepted the beer and considered the comment. Matt's sentiment was hard to grasp. Dr. Sally had said marriage could be difficult, and Y/N's first hadn't survived the ripples of her life. But it didn't feel like work with her. Their arguments were minor. Her nagging him to find a primary doctor for annual check-ups, even though he'd survived this long without one. Or back in Missouri, when he'd told her to stop shielding him and trust he could take anything she had to give.
Arthur adopted a similar nonchalant posture and jutted his hip against the table's edge. "I like it. It's easy to take good care of her." He wasn't able to completely erase the smugness of success from his tone.
"You're what? Two years in with the most headstrong woman in Gotham? She's great and all, but she spikes my blood pressure." Matt slapped Arthur's back and let out a hearty guffaw. "Give it five more and you'll be in my office trying to avoid alimony."
"Don't. Say that." Arthur crinkled the can in his grip and glared up at him.
"Hey," Matt started, withdrawing even as he tried diplomacy. "It was just a joke. I didn't mean anything by it."
Flinching, pulling at the cuffs of his red sweater, Arthur fought the surge of anger in his veins. It wouldn't do to lose control and cause a scene. Of course Matt's comment about them splitting up was supposed to be a joke. But Arthur didn't find it one bit funny. Even with his complete faith in her and his firm belief that they were meant to be together, the possibility that she'd stop wanting him hurt. It didn't occur to him that the implication of the punchline could be that he'd get sick of Y/N.
With a muttered apology, Matt walked to the others in the kitchen. Arthur glanced over to see her laugh tipsily, until she grabbed her stomach and swatted Patricia's shoulder, a stark demonstration of how much he and Y/N differed. She always knew how to respond to people, the right comebacks. Appropriate timing and levels of interaction. It seemed she was in her natural element, the loveliest swan on a lake. Whereas after years of therapy and practice with her, he was still a fish out of water, flopping around on the shoreline in hopes some stranger would take pity on him and throw him back into the sea.
Maybe that was the real punchline. Eventually their contrasts would no longer complement each other and instead become a chore.
Scowling, he ambled towards the record player stationed before two double-hung windows. Increased the volume to drown out the intrusive notions. It didn't really work. He settled on a grounding technique he'd practiced, all the while lamenting that he couldn't handle a party without needing it. His attention went to the spinning LP, the needle following its grooves. The bright blue album cover, where Ol' Blue Eyes beckoned him, the scuff marks on the cardboard's corner edges. He acknowledged the spider plants sat on the windowsill, worried a papery leaf until it broke off. He stared out the window, taking in the whole of the city. Pinpricks of light dazzling in the darkness.
"Gotham's beautiful at night," Y/N said from behind him. He glanced over his shoulder to watch her approach. Her cheeks glowed with alcohol and good cheer, the collar of her ivory blouse unbuttoned. "There's a life behind every light out there. Ten million of them. Here. Try this." She offered her hurricane glass, filled with an off-white slush.
He sipped the pina colada with cautious skepticism and grimaced as soon as it hit his tongue. The blend of pineapple and coconut tasted of cheap sunscreen and tropical imitations, the kind advertised in smudged brochures for bad cruises to islands with made up sounding names. "No, thanks."
Snorting, she shrugged and embraced his back at the waist. "How are we doing?" she asked, curling into his side. After a few seconds, she prodded him. "Had your fill of Matt?"
"He was just joking." Arthur rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. She set the drink next to the record player and brought her hand to his, trailed it over the inside of his wrist, up his forearm. She pecked his chin and nudged him until he turned to her. As soon as their gazes met, the concern in hers told him she'd continue to pepper him with questions. But he wasn't about to let his misplaced doubts spoil her evening. And he knew the perfect way to distract them both.
A new song started. An oldie that sang of Jupiter and Mars, playfulness among the stars. He cupped her cheek, thumb sweeping the corner of her mouth. "Dance with me," he said. Before accepting his proffered palm, she laid a sloppy kiss on him. With a flutter of her eyelashes, she grinned, and his smile grew to match her own. As he held her side, led her in a slow, swaying circle, he marveled at her. At her ability to soothe every molecule, every lingering ache. Self-assurance welled in him, chased away his earlier dejection. He cradled her to his lanky frame, trembled and felt himself blush. She was the only woman for him. That was as certain as his cigarette habit.
Despite Patricia's reassurances she was fine, that Robert working late wasn't unusual, Y/N insisted on staying until he got home. Though Arthur would have preferred they take their leave an hour earlier, being allowed to smoke inside blunted his grumbling. The disarming flirtations she bestowed on him also didn't hurt. She'd pour herself a drink (four in total, if he counted correctly), help Patricia make a plate of leftovers for her husband, then throw him a wink. Whisper and cackle while cleaning, then kiss his temple.
Around midnight, Patricia put her foot down. Ushered them out with a promise to call and a hug fierce enough to crush his ribs. She raised a brow at Y/N's unsteady gait, grasped Arthur's arm, and said with a wry, tired smile, "Make sure you put that woman straight to bed." His dark brows shot up and held. Had she intended a pun? Or had Y/N's spare caresses caused the interpretation? Either way, he liked being trusted to take care of her. And the hint of arousal that flared in his belly.
By the time they stumbled into their apartment, that arousal had reduced to a dull exhaustion. She kicked off her heels on the way to the bathroom, calling a slurred "night!" as she closed the door. Yawning, he put dish soap and hot water in the crockpot, scrubbed burned bits of sauce from its rim, turned it upside down on a towel to dry. Once he'd brushed his teeth for one minute rather than the recommended two, he tossed his sweater, trousers, briefs, and socks in the hamper, and went to the bedroom. He found his blue pajamas in their usual spot, the chair in the corner, and slid them up his skinny but toned legs. Tucked in next to her, he was carried to sleep on waves of fatigue and her quiet, wet snoring.
~~~~~
A tickle threatened to rouse him. Whispers along the waistband of his bottoms. Heat snuggled his back. Delightfully drowsy, he cuddled deeper into cozy, cream-color sheets, already returning to a pleasant, dreamless slumber. But a rumble of exhaust, likely from a bus that needed a new muffler, dragged him to consciousness. Arthur grumbled and tucked his arm under his pillow, not ready to transition to a world of overcrowding and concrete, commotion and bad jokes.
Yet, Y/N's insistent grazes continued, luring him with promises of placid pleasure. Her toes wiggled at his heel until he made space for her to slip her foot between his ankles. The corner of his mouth quirked. He was reminded of last night's playfulness, her endless teasing. The way he'd held the crockpot as a shield to fend off her advances on the train home, her forwardness to the point that he would've preferred having a laminated card to present on her behalf. Forgive my wife: she has a condition. It causes frequent and uncontrollable displays of affection.
Nimble fingers edged lower, loosened the tie of his pajamas before dipping beneath the loose elastic to lace through his dark brown curls, darker than the chestnut hair on his head. Her knuckles ran over him, lazy caresses full of intent. Up and down, up and down. Delicate. Deliberate. The blood racing to his groin, the pleasant swelling, made his abdomen twitch. Soon full and heavy, the sensitive tip straining the cotton seams, he pressed his lips together. When she skimmed the tender skin resting on his inner thigh, he flexed the muscle at the base of his erection. It bobbed and hit her wrist and she let loose a girlish giggle, more intoxicating than wine.
With her left leg draped over him at the knee, she undulated against his rear. Plush lips brushed the boney knobs of his spine, damp breath fanned the nape of his neck, labored, needy. Pebbled nipples grazed his back through the thin nylon of her nightgown, taunting and compelling. He made up his mind to throw an arm around her, to yank her on top of him. To eagerly take part in her seduction.
But she withdrew from his bottoms to palm his stomach and plant a gentle kiss to the shell of his ear, whispering, "Sleep tight." The mattress shifted and she rolled away from him. He furrowed his brows. She rarely relented this easily - other times he'd awakened, hard and aching, enveloped by the captivating wetness of her mouth. What was she up to?
Covers rustled. Her calf bumped his. And the opposite of what he'd assumed occurred. Instead of light footfalls leading out of the room, there was silence, silence that seemed to stretch on and on...
Until a hitched gasp gave her away.
Touching herself. She was touching herself. She'd just been all over him, acted like he was some sort of model on the cover of Vue magazine, and now she was touching herself. Right beside him! Ecstatic to have inspired such brazenness, he grinned and fisted the pillow. Her fleeting, stifled moans tangled him in knots, implored him to give her what they both burned for.
He flipped in her direction, his hand shooting under the sheet to grab hers. "Gotcha."
Eyes wide, she gaped at him in surprise. But adoration softened her expression as she entwined their fingers. "How long have you been awake?" she asked.
"Long enough."
He stretched to rewind the shades, the diaphanous curtains staying in place. Sunlight diffused over them, wrapped around her face, lent her disheveled hair a warm luster. He twirled a feathered lock and pecked her eyelids. "Finishing what you started on the subway, hm?"
"Me?" Y/N brought his knuckles to her mouth. "You're the one who came to bed without any underwear."
"Well, it was a late night." The pad of his thumb tugged at her bottom lip to reveal the pink tip of her tongue. He bent to claim it. "I was lucky to find my pajamas."
Chuckling, she broke their connection. "Did you have a good time?"
"Yeah. The cake was good. And the music. Everyone was nice."
"Patricia loved having you there. She thought you were very sweet." A pause as she mapped a dimple. "Matt said he'd upset you. Something stupid about breaking up?"
Vague shadows of discomfort flashed through Arthur, a frustration he'd mostly moved on from. He did his best to ignore it, waving her concern away. "Don't worry about it."
"He was just jealous, you know." Her nails ran along the small of his back. "He wants Laura to look at him the way I look at you."
Arthur had spent so much of his life yearning for change, to understand his purpose in the world and improve himself. The idea that a man with a good education, a successful career, and no disabilities could ever be jealous of him was, frankly, bizarre. But he didn't correct Y/N, instead locking her praise within his heart, preserving it for when he needed it most. He boosted himself on his forearm and fiddled with her V-neck, traced its button loops as he slipped the plastic knobs through them. "And how's that?'
A hint of scandal glimmered in her irises. She arched into him as he eased a strap down her upper arm to reveal her shapely breast, the lilac fabric momentarily catching on its taut peak. "Like I can't get enough of you."
He huffed at that, fondled her faintly before his lips met the velvety skin of her chest. A tonic comprised of the musk oil she'd dabbed on before the party and distinct sexual wanting wafted to his nostrils. He licked at her nipple, the bumps on her areola, and drew it between his teeth. She whined softly and lifted the bottom of her nightdress to her waist.
Hurriedly, he yanked on the waistband of her cotton panties, pushed them past her knees. She kicked them off while he knelt to lower his bottoms. Straddling her, he pumped himself back to hardness and opened the drawer of her nightstand. He searched haphazardly until he retrieved a small, glass bottle of lubricant. (She'd ordered it from a mail catalog, both of them a bit too bashful to walk into an adult shop, even together.)
She snagged it from him and poured half a teaspoon in her hand, then palmed herself. He moved between her legs and she grasped his length, coating him with the warm, slippery liquid. He pushed forward into her. Gradually, slowly, savoring every millimeter of her enticing heat. He noted the stretch of her mouth, the jut of her jaw, the lifting of her upper lip. "Mmm..." she breathed and begged him to keep going. When he did, her head tilted back into the pillow, eyelids falling shut. A smile cut across her cheeks as she purred her satisfaction. "Arthur, I love you."
His touch wandered down the curve of her thigh. At the sight of her subtle writhing beneath him, the sway of her slightly uneven breasts in time with his languid thrusts, he pushed her knee into the mattress, splayed her wider. He grunted lowly. "Look at me."
Their gazes met but didn't hold for long; hers dropped to where they were joined. She caressed right above his pubic bone. "I love seeing you like this." Her fingertips walked a line up his sternum to his chest. "And touching you like this." She wrapped her arms around his middle and drew him to her, locked their lips in a greedy kiss. "And making love like this."
He snorted. "I think this is the only reason you married me."
"Well, not the only reason. There's your good hair, too."
"I've been thinking about cutting it. Trying something new."
"Don't you dare." She tugged at his loose curls, wore her best pout. "What else would I hold onto when we're doing this?"
Laughing lightly, he bumped his nose to hers. Falling into her was like falling into his old fantasies, the ones that'd sustained him through years of isolation. Dates at diners, at comedy clubs, at donut shops, at home. Their shapes had changed as he'd matured, his role in them, his aspirations and infatuations. But they'd remained a warm comfort nonetheless, a place that felt like belonging. And now he belonged with her. Hunger filled him. Happiness. And love. So much love, more than he'd ever believed he'd carried in him. He bucked a little harder. "You feel so good," he murmured. "You make me feel so good."
A strained cry left her and her pelvis answered his steady rhythm with demands of its own. Her calves rose to squeeze him closer, encircle his narrow hips. They were pressed together so tightly; it felt like they were one flesh. He never wanted it to stop. But a dizzying euphoria had ignited, one that eclipsed the romantic yearnings of his heart, twisting his desire to last all morning into the desperate drive to possess her. Gasping, Arthur raised himself to his knees, delving deeper with each push. Their foreheads met and he grit his teeth at the scald of her, the texture of her walls. She fit as though she'd been made for him.
He supposed she was.
Pressure began in the base of him, building and building in terrific torment. The muscles of his inner thighs contracted inward. Tingling climbed his shaft, his tailbone, his spine. He wove his fingers into the sheet, his grip a vise that wrested its corner from the mattress. She kissed the spot where his jaw met his neck, all the while murmuring encouragements for him to let himself go.
Bliss shot through him, from the tips of his toes to the follicles on his scalp, and his back stiffened as he whimpered and poured into. Fever engulfed his frame, sublime in its frenzy, leaving him in a heady stupor. Aftershocks made him tremble. Once, twice. Until, sated and spent, he landed on top her. He closed his eyes, ribs rising and falling as he forced air into his lungs.
A minute later, he swallowed and looked down at her. "You didn't come."
She carded through his sweaty locks. "It's all righ-"
"Shh." He slid out of her and settled at her side, reached between her legs to swipe at her core. "I'm not done," he declared, tracing the edges of her entrance, slick and swollen. One of his favorite things about getting her off was demonstrating his prowess in bed, how well he'd learned with her. His thumb met her plump clitoral hood, and he felt her throb beneath his ministrations.
Nails biting his bicep, she rocked upwards. A bewitching blush crept up her breast, her neck, spread across her cheeks. Shallow pants hit his face, short puffs suffused with high-pitched whines, utterly irresistible. He circled her nub at a steady cadence, tapping when she'd shiver, and she clasped the back of his hand. He swirled his tongue around her nipple, sucked the pretty peak, and lowered the other strap of her nightgown to bare her completely. A hushed plea fell from her lips. "Please, please..."
Suddenly, her vulva grew white hot and she seized, her hips stuttering with each flutter of his touch to her folds. She thrusts her breasts towards him, a sharp moan caught in her throat. Liquid pooled against his fingers, proof of her rapture that made him wish, with mild amusement, that he could be an unmedicated young man again. He would've gladly taken her a second time.
Giggling and rubbing her temple, she released a long exhale and opened her eyes. He brushed her hair back and grinned, completely smitten, like the first time he'd heard a joke and understood the punchline. The light brown picture frame on his nightstand caught his attention, and he regarded the wallet size photo in it, one of the shots of Y/N from the booth at Amusement Mile. The last thing he looked at before turning in each night. He lay his head her shoulder and hummed, listened to the drum of her heart.
She smooched his hairline and wriggled out from beneath him to stand. Her nightie had been reduced to a crumpled stripe of lilac cinched about her waist. It felt tawdry and shameless and he wanted to see her in it for the rest of the weekend. But she peeled it down her legs, wrinkling her nose when it got stuck on her thighs, and stepped out of it one foot at a time. She dropped it on the floral bedspread and retrieved her bathrobe from the closet. "Meet you in the kitchen," she said, opening the door.
The sun had risen higher, its beams slanting across the covers. He basked in it, catlike, then swung his legs over the side of the bed. He pulled on his pajamas, got a new pair of socks from their dresser, and made his way to the kitchen. He washed off the remnants of Y/N's arousal from his fingers, popped open a prescription bottle and took a tablet. He poured water into the coffeemaker, grabbed the can of grounds from the second shelf, added three scoops to the paper filter. Their three-tone brown mugs sat in their spot next to the machine, waiting to be filled.
When the glass coffeepot was half full, Y/N emerged from the bathroom, chuckling to herself. She opened the breadbox on the opposite counter and took out a wax paper bag. "Do you have any idea how dull this morning would have been if we'd never met? I'd have read the Sunday paper, had a drink. Probably worked on a file." He handed her a couple dessert plates, watched her put a donut on each one. "I wonder where you'd be. What woman you'd have breakfast with, what jokes you'd be writing, what magic tricks you'd have learned."
"Um..." At first he wanted to ask where this speculation had come from, if Matt had let her in on exactly what he'd said. But the confident slant of her smirk told Arthur she was teasing. He tried to play along but winced. No matter how appealing, how extraordinary she found him, his gut told him there wouldn't have been another woman. There'd be no more stand-up routines, no more Carnival. He certainly wouldn't be taking care of Penny. He'd likely be locked up in the hospital, maybe even dead. Without an anchor, his life would have lost what little sense it had.
Y/N was one of his anchors now, hooked into the sand alongside his material, treatment, the ability to pay bills. He seized her hand and squeezed it tight, unaware he was squishing her fingers. "I don't wanna think about it," he said quietly.
She sidled up to him and pulled him to her side. Rubbed his flank soothingly and pecked the corner of his mouth. "Don't worry." She took his chin and guided him to look at her. The intimate comfort of her smile helped him believe her next words, even before she spoke them. "I'll always be here."
~~~~~
Tag list (Let me know if you want to be added!): @harmonioussolve @ithinkimaperson @sweet-nothings04 @stephieraptorr @rommies @fallenstarsabyss @gruffle1 @octopus-plasma @tsukiakarinobara @arthur-flecks-lovely-smile @another-day-in-chuckletown @hhandley80 @jokerownsmysoul @fakestreet @ralugraphics @iartsometimes
#arthur fleck#arthur fleck fanfic#arthur fleck smut#arthur fleck x reader#arthur fleck x female reader#arthur fleck x ofc#joker 2019#watchwhathappens
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Could you do Fort Max and First Aid for the oxygen loss?
Seriosuly loving it, angst and comfort/fluff is the best combination lmao
It is the best combination and those are two of the best boys so I am ON IT! Fort Max is in part eight listed below, but here's First Aid!
Part One: Here!
Part Two: Here!
Part Three: Here!
Part Four: Here!
Part Five: Here!
Part Six: Here!
Part Seven: Here!
Part Eight: Here!
Part Nine: Here!
Part Ten: Here!
Part Eleven: You're Here!
Part Twelve: Here!
First Aid
·Ever one for new experiences, he'd been quite enthusiastic to have a human join the crew, and perhaps it was his penchant for thoroughly appreciating every unknown he came across that had led to your fast paced courtship. The bot had simply demonstrated an almost overwhelming fascination towards you from day one, and in short time the connection between the two of you had been discovered through his efforts. Now you were nearly inseparable. Off days and breaks are always used for bonding, and today is no exception. Atop his lap as he sits comfortably, you happily listen to his enthusiastic and commentary filled reading of a Wrecker's Declassified, loving how he has the most obvious and adorable starstruck look while doing so. You could listen all day just to see his schoolboy crush play out before you.
·For him, having someone who listens and values his opinions without hesitation is enough to get his spark humming. He's rather accustomed to being passed over for bots with more experience and fame, so seeing your eyes focused on him with such rapt attention is... well, it's just nice. Finding you exceptionally adorable doesn't make it any less sweet. Being human also means a great deal of his favorite topics are new to you, so he gets to introduce you to all the wonders of the Wreckers, something that he loves every moment of. It's also not unpleasant to have your tiny body close to his, practically snuggling against him... Cuddling is something more or less new to him as well, so having it at all is yet another wonder you've brought to his life. There's a vague hope in the back of his processor that he'll be brave enough to suggest sharing a berth someday, just for a nice nap together, as he's not yet been brave enough to ask such a thing of you.
·Unfortunately, the universe has very little respect for his plans. Accustomed to interruptions as an always on call medic, he can't help but be a little frustrated when Ratchet starts comming him out of the blue, but he knows better than to show it. Something serious must be going on if their CMO needs assistance. Still in your partner's lap, you watch as he answers the communication, quite used to sudden messages like this pulling him away. It's a part of dating a medic; but nothing about this seems standard. First Aid shifts his expression to one of concern as the voice comes through the comm in broken static, though he's experienced enough to put together what little there is. A warning of failing systems gets him moving on instinct, his arms scooping you up as he moves to stand, and the instructions to head to his emergency stations is almost unnecessary when the line goes dead.
·You're surprised but not offput by the sudden change in your position, if only because being swept into his arms is... very nice. That doesn't prevent you from knowing something is off though, and thankfully he is just as aware of you as he is his responsibilities as a medic, more so of you to tell the truth... A calm visor reflects your face as he lifts you close to relay the situation. Something is wrong with the ship, he explains, and it's bad enough that Ratchet made a preemptive call for medical bots to get moving. That means he needs to get to the medical bay, and before you can ask he brings up the possibility of you coming with him. Worry is just perceptible on his face as he hesitantly expresses that having you there would be safer, and thus he'd feel better... The bashful look is so cute you momentarily forget the danger to give him a reassuring kiss on his faceplate while accepting the proposition.
·Ignoring the stars you make him see with a tiny smooch, he gets right to work, securing you in one arm and ensuring his room is locked before heading out. He can't help but feel protective as he does so, almost like your guard against the threat that feels omnipresent in every hallway. You feel the same, and he can tell by how you hold him tighter in his grasp, something that stirs his spark with almost overpowering affection. It's enough to make him certain he'd fight like a Phase Sixer to protect you... For your part, a similiar drive to keep him safe is present, despite the difference in size between you. Hopefully you help him feel a little more secure as the two of you move through the eerily quiet hallways.
·The protective instincts First Aid has honed in his career as a medic give him a half second warning that danger is inbound, but all he is able to do in that time is curl around you protectively when the world seems to shake itself asunder. Hard floors meet his back in a painful rush, and you're similiarly jostled against him, though thankfully the worst of the blow is softened by his reflexive brace for impact. Tremors continue to rock the ship once you both realize you're on the ground, but a great cacophony of noise fails to die down when the shaking does. It's not a noise you've ever heard before; though you can compare it to metal being torn, the echoing and overbearing sound is at a scale you can't even comprehend.
·First Aid, having a natural coolness under pressure, is able to collect himself even as the situation continues evolving. The alarm begins to go off as he gets himself off the floor, and he notes that had it not the entire crew would probably still be mobilizing. There was no way anybot didn't feel what he just happened to be a front row spectator towards. While being on a ship of soldiers meant backup would soon be available, he had a few concerns that just couldn't wait for the guards to be scrambled. With one path to the medical bay now inaccessible, and you being so vulnerable, he needs to get somewhere safe to plan. He holds you close as the first open room becomes a makeshift shelter.
·Still reeling from the shock of everything, you find yourself atop a table in one of the Lost Light's many maintenance rooms, watching as First Aid attaches a portable operating flashlight to his helm. Before you can ask a single question the light is covering your body as he looks you over, asking for clarification on your basic functions while checking for injuries at the same time. Only when he's satisfied you're stable does the opportunity for speech present itself. Half expecting another massive tremor to hit at any moment, you ask what on earth made the ship move and sound like it had hit a Titan sized can opener, and his visor darkens with worry. You take hold of his hand to reassure and encourage him.
·The explanation is a bit rushed, but understandable; the ship has been ambushed, no doubt the enemy is preparing to board through the makeshift docking station they just created, and enemies will soon flood in... Also, most of the ship's systems appear to be offline. It's bad enough news that you feel suddenly woozy and need to sit back on your little table. Seeing you afraid drives First Aid into action, his processor working overtime to formulate a plan that will get you to safety, though admittedly the situation is a tough one. It's only when he takes proper stock of his surroundings and notes the monitor station that an idea takes shape.
·Intent on finding a clear path, he lays out his plan as he starts typing, explaining his thought process as he hacks into the virus addled program to get what he needs. Though you find solace in his confidence, the surprise from before is still wearing you down. Exhaustion seems to be the only thing you can truly comprehend... First Aid breaks through the enemy programs holding information back, but his victory proves short lived when the many systems start showing their current status, and his triumph turns to horror at one in particular. Critical to your survival, the atmospheric generators are among the malfunctioning systems. Oxygen levels are dropping by the minute. Without a word, he turns on the spot and begins looking you over again, earning a cry of surprise as he scoops you up.
·Alarmed and confused, you haven't a clue what might have spurred the usually in control bot to act so rashly, and have to sputter out the question when your clouded head fails to settle. Something like an explanation pours out of him, but there's very little you understand due to an increasingly sluggish mind. The growing exhaustion alarms him further. There's precious little time before you reach critical levels of oxygen deprivation, and the hypoxia has already rid you of the ability to process the situation... An ache in his spark is joined by one in his head as he tries to formulate a plan, and when he is left with only a long shot, he's forced to take it for your sake. There's a shake in his hands as he cannibalizes the room for parts, throwing together a makeshift air scrubber that will generate just enough breathable oxygen to get you to the medical bay. You smile as you watch him make it, suddenly too tired to stay awake but wanting to watch him craft, if only because his ingenuity is one of your favorite traits. The pleasant haze is still there even as he lifts you again to bring a makeshift oxygen mask to your face and begin running.
·All he can really do is hope, but there's precious little optimism in his spark as he makes the journey to the medical bay in a blind run, not running into enemies by sheer luck. The countless mistakes he's made so far are all that exist beyond your terrifyingly expressionless face. It's distracting enough that he's surprised when the team of Autobots appears from nowhere, particularly as Ratchet is amongst them, but before the CMO can say a word First Aid is pleading with the more experienced medic for help. He feels like a student on their first bad rotation in a hospital ward, facing the possibility of death for the first time, only a million times more agonized because you're on the line. The older bot is mercifully understanding as he gently takes you and guides him back to the medical bay, where he enters a fog and settles in to his job without conscious thought. He sees everything; Ratchet stabilizes you with proper equipment, wounded bots start to come in with news the battle is over, the systems maintaining the ship all come completely online... None of it registers.
·All he can think of is how he failed. The machine he built could have been more effective, he should have predicted oxygen issues from the start, and had he not been distracting you with his foolish interests to begin with... It physically hurts, but he doesn't allow himself even a moment of reprieve from the self admonishment, and dedicates himself entirely to your wellbeing. Every tiny facet of your recovery is microanalyzed, down to the thousandth of a percent. He won't risk losing you to more of his mistakes. It's bad enough that he doesn't permit joy to show on his face when you finally begin to stir, not even cracking a smile when your beautiful eyes finally blink open and you look into his visor. Your own expression, however, immediately shifts to one of exhausted but emphatic relief. Seeing the bot you love alive after the chaos you remember enduring is more than you could have asked for.
·He can't help but be incredibly gentle as he asks how you feel, his affection too strong to ever suppress in its entirety. But you can see the struggle in his actions, having become so accustomed to his presence that the out of character reservation is as obvious to you as a fireworks display, so you quickly ask if he's okay after everything that happened. The innocent question actually makes him flinch. Not a moment later he breaks and loses the calm air of a medic, collapsing into a nearby chair to confess that your injuries are his fault, caused by a myriad of failures he can't reconcile. Head in his hands, he's caught off guard when you make an effort to move from your little bundle of blankets and tubes keeping you stable.
·Before he can say a word to stop you, he is silenced by a little hand taking hold of his digit, and though the mask is firmly fitted you still speak loud and clear enough for him to hear the firmness in your voice. As lovingly as you can, you insist that he stop what he's doing. Loving him is worth any risk, but because he's as resourceful and brilliant as he is, you had made it through a situation most wouldn't have survived. The rest of the universe may not always see his worth, but you do every time you see him. Growing dizzy from the force of your conviction, you're gently shushed and encouraged to lie back, yet to your exhausted delight First Aid appears anything but pained as he works. Adjusting your blankets and tenderly ensuring your comfort, he doesn't need to say thank you through anything but his actions. As always, you've brought him back down from that exhausting despair he grappled with so often in the past. After all, he must be capable indeed to have earned the love of someone so wonderful and unique. The least he can do is show his gratitude in a gentle brush of his thumb over your palm as you drift back to sleep.
#transformers#maccadam#mtmte#more than meets the eye#lost light#idw#tf#ll#my writing#my asks#requests#prompts#human reader#self insert#first aid#first aid x reader
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request: jaskier x reader enemies to lovers in which the reader is not a jealous asshole lmao
Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 3,273Rating: TTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle @writingstudent @mlleecrivaine @coffee-and-stories @ultracolorfulnerdcollection @astouract @your-not-invisible-to-me @kemmastan @mycat-is-mylove @amirahiddleston a/n: Hey! I am a sucker for an academic rivalry and that’s the way I approached this. It’s really long but I hope you enjoy!
You took a deep breath before entering the classroom, plastering on a serene, professional smile. There were more students present than usual which only rankled further, knowing they had come here to see him instead of your usual classes. He wasn’t there yet (typical) but you were grateful. Walking in to see so-called Professor Pankratz beating you to your own class would have been more than you could bear. Then again, he was never on time for class when you were students so luck had been on your side.
“Good morning class, so nice to see that so many of you have recovered for your many ailments and just in time for a presentation for our guest lecturer,” you said. The students chuckled sheepishly and you fixed them with an accusatory look that melted into a smile and a head shake. They were just kids. It hadn’t been terribly long ago you were in their shoes and there were many times you wished you could have jut run off and avoided your responsibilities like others you’d known. Right on cue, the door opened and in strode Julian Pankratz or – as he was known now – Jaskier.
He looked practically the same as he had back then. Chestnut hair shorter and roguishly swept to the side but the same hue, golden highlights catching in the sun that streamed through the large windows. Smile quirked into the exact same cocky little grin, sky blue eyes sparkling with amusement, always on the lookout for a good time. His clothing choices had become more ornate but the same good quality they’d always been, him and all the other nobility thinking nothing of the clothes they wore or the fact that a single doublet would pay for a semester of classes. As he caught your eye a familiar look of smugness came over his features and you bristled. You’d always been academic rivals. You didn’t usually care about someone being smarter than you, most were anyway, but someone who swanned into Oxenfurt Academy, resting on his family’s laurels and roving around missing classes yet still somehow managing to give you a run for your title as Valedictorian was another matter. On the rare occasions he did deign to show up to class he’d usually be half-hungover, lacking all supplies, and yet teacher’s stopped calling on him to make an example because he’d always know the answer. Good answers, too. So no, you didn’t hate Julian because he was smart or handsome or well-liked or even because he was your fiercest competition in school. You hated him because he was all of these things and didn’t work for any of it and didn’t seem to appreciate its value. This position you held as a professor at a university that had been an impossible sounding dream for a child who grew up in poverty meant everything to you. But for Julian, it was just another honor bestowed on him. Hell, he was invited to teach today.
“Ah, Julian, right off time,” you said dryly.
“Professor Pankratz I think it is, Y/N,” he replied. You bristled and bit back a litany of oaths.
“As I was telling the students, Julian, you are here today to provide a guest lecture and if anyone has questions-” two dozen arms shot up in the sky eagerly, “They will wait under after the lesson.”
The arms retracted glumly but the students lit up as you stepped aside, giving the bard a space at the podium.
“Thank you, Y/N. You know, your professor and I go way back. We were school chums just like you. She’s always been incredibly smart. I mean, the record may show that she never could quite top me but she still gave me a good run,” he winked at you as he said the words and then gave you a wicked smile, like a child who knew they were being bad in public and didn’t care what would happen when they got home. You kept the same serene smile on your face like a mask and you spent the next hour and a half of his talk imagining the different ways you would use the historical tools of torture display in the history wing to wipe that smug smile off of his face.
—–
After the lecture (which was exceptional, damn it) Julian suggested the question and answer portion be done outside because it was “such a lovely day” and you “probably wanted to review your notes over his lecture to include in the class’s curricula” and they poured out of your class leaving you in blessed silence. You had to admit you appreciated the extra time to prepare for tomorrow’s class. You finished grading and even had time to clean the chalkboard thoroughly. You were gazing at it in admiration of a job well done when a voice popped up by the open door.
“Admit it, that was brilliant.”
Suddenly your good mood vanished. You cut Jaskier a sharp glance from the corner of your eye.
“The students aren’t here anymore Julian you don’t need to stick around,” you said coolly.
“Oh I know,” he replied, moving into the room further, “I thought I’d ask an old friend for a drink. Catch up properly since I’m in town.”
You scoffed and shook your head, turning to face him.
“We’re not friends, Julian. We never were and I don’t see why we would be now,” you said bluntly. He smiled at your words, not an unpleasant or false one, a genuine, nostalgic smile.
“Gods I’ve missed the way you never put up with my shit,” he said. You blinked at him in surprise.
“What?”
“Everyone else was impressed by the Pankratz name and my other, admittedly many, charms but you always saw through it. I think that’s why I tried to impress you so much. Hell, maybe it’s why I’m still trying,” he said.
“I thought you hated me, you were always a prick. And don’t try that stupid ‘boys torment girls they like’ bullshit with me because that’s bollocks at best and dangerous at worst,” you argued. He smirked.
“Oh no, you were a bitch. You kind of still are. But I’ve grown to develop an affection for bitches.”
“Get fucked, Pankratz.”
“Ooh not as eloquent as you were back in the day. What was it you called me that one time? As stupid as an ox and half as useful?” he quoted. You smiled in appreciation of your younger self’s burn.
“Come have a drink with me,” he offered again. Despite yourself, you were curious about what Julian had been up to. Sure you heard the rumors and the songs and knew he was a celebrity. But you also knew that the stories you heard about people rarely matched the truth and perhaps with enough ale and the right questions you’d get somewhere close to that.
“You’re paying,” you said, taking up your purse and getting out the key to lock the classroom.
“But of course,” Jaskier said in faux surprise, “What kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn’t treat the lady to drinks?”
For the sake of peace, you bit your tongue.
—–
“Alright,” Jaskier said once you’d both ordered your drinks, “Let’s get this out of the way. Ask me about Geralt.”
“The witcher?” you asked. Jaskier nodded, a weary nod that suggested he’d had this talk many, many times before. “I don’t really have any questions.”
Jaskier eyed you suspiciously, disbelief plain on his face but you weren’t kidding. You knew about witchers, had read many different accounts from believe who head varying levels of respect and fear towards them, but you didn’t really concern yourself with them. As far as you could tell their primary trade was killing monsters and you weren’t one so you doubted you’d have any dealings with them.
“People usually want to know what he’s like, if he has horns, does he eat babies, etc.,” Jaskier explained.
“Well those people sound… ill-informed,” you said tactfully, “I do have questions though. Not about Geralt, about you.”
“Me?” Jaskier sounded surprised.
“Of course. A classmate goes off and becomes a renowned bard and you don’t think I’m going to have questions?” you asked.
“You never showed much interest in my life or affairs before.”
“I didn’t have to hear about some new rumor about you every day from students before. Well, actually I guess I did. But there were fewer rumors of immortality and frankly based on how you look I’m starting to think those might be right,” you said, taking a sip of your mead and giving him an assessing look. He laughed and took a drink from his ale.
“Not as far as I know, no,” he said.
“But the rest is true, then? Touring the country, the bard with his pet witcher, wooing and rutting around the countryside with great aplomb?”
Jaskier smiled ruefully as he looked down into his drink, thinking about the portrait you painted of him, that had been painted while he was off. He could lie and tell you it was true but he had a feeling you’d know. As he’d said, you always saw through his bullshit.
“Quite the opposite, really. True my songs are well loved and I have successfully reformed many opinions about Geralt, if not witchers on the whole, but I am more often treated as the “pet” of Geralt. The human that follows him around. It’s… not entirely wrong but it’s also horseshit, you know?”
You were surprised by the vulnerability. This wasn’t the proud, blustering Julian of a decade ago. He was still there but there was also a maturity to him. It was deeply unsettling.
“That must be hard for you. You never did like standing in another’s shadow,” you said.
“I have little experience doing so. You understand,” he volleyed. You glowered at him as you took another drink. Yes, some things were still the same.
“And adventuring? How is that suiting you? You a natural at that as you were everything else?” you asked, a bit of bitterness slipping into your tone.
“Gods no,” he said laughing, “No I am… well, I’m better than I was, but I’ve also nearly died more times than I can count so that doesn’t speak to a great amount of skill.”
You felt a little guilty about how validating it was to hear Jaskier state that there was finally something even he couldn’t fake his way through.
“That must be very difficult,” you said, working to keep the satisfaction out of your voice, “Finding the one thing is this world you aren’t naturally adept at without any effort or work.”
“I worked, Y/N,” Jaskier replied, frowning at the implication, “I wrote the same papers you did.”
“Yes, but yours were written 15 minutes before class or turned into an improvised ballad performed on the spot and mine were toiled over for hours in the library and edited mercilessly. We are not the same,” you argued.
“Do you want me to apologize for being naturally talented?” he asked. You scoffed and shook your head, fighting the urge to throw the remaining contents of your cup in his smug face.
“No, Julian, I want you to appreciate that you’re talented. I want you to stop acting like you’re somehow superior and I want you to stop getting everything you want handed to you because you’re from a titled family and famous and never had to really worry about taking care of yourself,” you snapped.
“You think people took care of me?” he replied incredulously, “Y/N my family didn’t give a shit about me. Hell, I don’t know if they even realized I was gone when I went to school. Even the people around me at the university, I knew they didn’t give a shit, they wouldn’t have my back or stick around if I wasn’t constantly making myself useful to them. And you think that’s somehow different now? The witcher barely tolerates my presence some days and I have to work hard to find ways to be useful because I know that if I stop, even for a moment, he will be gone too.”
After he finished he kicked himself for saying it, waiting for a look of pity from you as you listened to him complain. Or contempt because even he knew that it could be worse. But you just nodded slightly, a look of understanding dawning on your face.
“Well. You’re still an ass,” you said, taking a sip of your drink. A wide smile broke out over Jaskier’s face and you couldn’t help but return it. He had that effect on people. For once it didn’t seem self-serving, though, just genuine happiness.
“So is that what you’re doing with me?” you asked, serious again, “Trying to find a way to be useful or charm me so you’ll have a contact back in Oxenfurt?”
“When you put it that way I sound so self-serving,” he scoffed, “No, Y/N. Frankly I don’t need you as a contact. I was invited to lecture here and I seriously doubt you were the one did that.”
You didn’t say anything, glancing awkwardly down at your glass.
“Wait… no… surely not,” Jaskier squinted at you suspiciously and you heaved a great sigh.
“Fine, alright I did. But only because very begrudgingly I have to admit you know what you’re talking about and this segment is hard for students if they don’t care about what they’re studying and nothing makes students care like hearing it from someone new and exciting and oh for the gods’ sake if you don’t stop grinning at me like that I will kick you,” you snapped. Jaskier didn’t heed your warnings, the grin overtaking his face and this time you could resist the pull to smile back. You crossed your arms in front of you in a huff, waiting for him to throw it back in your face, to make some snide remark about proof that he’s smarter than you after all.
“Thank you,” he said after a beat of silence. There was sincerity in his eyes, also unsettling, but also not a bad look on him. “I enjoyed it. I’ve missed the school, really.”
“I suppose it wasn’t the worst thing that’s ever happened in my classroom. Granted, someone was murdered there a few hundred years ago so the bar is pretty high for that honor,” you sighed. The rest of your evening passed quickly as you shared anecdotes and laughter. Before you knew it the tavern was closing and you were told to get a room or get out. Jaskier had shot you a suggestive smile but you’d rolled your eyes and told him he could walk you home.
“You know this is going to sound silly but I think… Well, I wish maybe we’d been friends in school,” you admitted, lips loosened by the mead and the newfound sense of comradery with the man walking at your side. He laughed, the sound turning to mist in the cool night air, and grinned at you.
“No, I don’t think so,” he said. Your face fell and you began to feel embarrassed.
“No, not because of you!” he explained quickly, “But I wasn’t really the sort of person I think you’d have liked back then. I mean, clearly, because you’ve harbored such a long hatred of me.”
“Hatred is a strong word,” you lied, “But you’re probably right. I could be a bit stuck up myself.”
“I’m glad that we’ve reconnected, though. Or I suppose, connected for the first time,” Jaskier said. You arrived at home sooner than you’d expected and you lingered at the door.
“How long are you in town?” you asked.
“I leave tomorrow.”
“Oh… with, uh, what’s his name?”
Jaskier beamed at you as though you’d just given him the finest compliment in his life. And in a way, you had. For once he wasn’t the one whose name was ignored and forgotten.
“Geralt. And yes, I told him I’d meet up with him. Onto the next adventure,” he explained. He was excited by the disappointment in your eyes, almost as excited as the fact that you weren’t yet going inside, perhaps even considering offering him an invite.
“If you want to come back sometime, to lecture and maybe get another drink with an old…” your voice trailed off as you tried to decide what to call what you were now.
“Colleague?”
“Friend?”
“Yes, alright, friend,” you assented, earning yet another wide, beaming smile from Jaskier, “I’d like that. If you have time. I know you’re very busy and important.”
You said the words sarcastically and Jaskier nodded and sighed heavily.
“It’s true, the world needs its songs. But I would be happy to come back again. And see you. And do my part to enlighten the youths of the world. And see you.”
“You said that twice.”
“I meant it doubly much.”
“Doubly much? That can’t be good grammar.”
“Gods, do you ever turn off?” he huffed in amused exasperation.
“Never, it’s one of my charms,” you replied, smirking. Jaskier moved closer and you were reminded of how tall he was. And broad. And handsome.
“I have half a mind to kiss that smirk right off your face,” he murmured, the pale blue eyes caressing them with his gaze.
“You have a half a mind period,” you sassed, a defensive reaction that struck when you were nervous. Most men were turned away by it, and you couldn’t blame them. But sparring was an old game for the two of you and Jaskier smiled, chuckling darkly before saying,
“Alright now you’re gonna get it.”
His lips brushed against yours, featherlight and teasing, and then swept back, a little firmer, capturing your mouth and pressing in closer, one arm wrapping around your waist and pressing you against the door as he slid his tongue through your slightly parted mouth. You sighed into the kiss and he gave a soft moan in return as your tongue found his, entangling and learning the warmth of each other’s mouths, the brush of teeth against lip, the taste of mead and ale blending in a heady mixture. By the time Jaskier pulled back you were both panting slightly. You swallowed hard and looked up into his eyes.
“Are you going to invite me in?” he asked, peppering your jawline with kisses. Your eyes squeezed shut and you licked your lips, summoning your will to be sensible.
“No,” you replied. His kisses stop and he pulled back to look at you, unabashedly surprised.
“No?”
“No,” you answered, “Go on your journeys, Julian Pankratz or Jaskier de Lettenhove or whoever you are or shall be. Go and then return to me. If you can do that, well… Perhaps.”
“I may die,” he intoned dramatically, though he made no move to continue his seduction, taking your words to heart.
“Then there shall be two great tragedies that day,” you answered in a tone that was just as dramatic, “That you have died, and that you never knew the pleasures of my body.”
He laughed, throwing his head back and then leaning in to plant another kiss on your lips.
“You’re a minx. But alright, it’s a date,” he said. You bit your bottom lip, fighting back an argument that it could only really be a date if they both declared it to be and really they had just agreed to meet up as friends but sometimes even you had to admit there was a time and place for being pedantic.
“It’s a date.”
#Anonymous#jaskier x reader#jaskier drabble#jaskier fluff#jaskier angst#reader request#jaskier imagines
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