#It'll make you a better writer and me as well I hope so at least

[teojira]

[Caesar and Proximus' day to day life] [headcanons]

Summary: You're a human companion to the two apes, this is little things to expect as you live with them and in addition, the rest of the apes.

Word count: 900+

Warnings: None that I can think of! This is mostly platonic, some romance in Caesars if you squint.

Pronouns: Not specified.

A/N: first Planet of the apes request!! I'm so excited, shoutout to the other writers on ao3 I've looked up to for years. I hope this is okay anon! I couldn't reference back to your ask since I lost it and I hope this is the general idea you were hoping for 💀🙏

[Caesar]

For the sake of this, Caesar did NOT die at the end of war, and you're immune to the disease! (Nova is also fine here bc fuck you that's my daughter)

Truth be told it was very very very fortunate for you that you appealed to his good side after all this time, He's tired.

Tired of being hurt, tired of losing family, but he has no choice but to push on, when you offered at first to help him with any injuries or issues that arise in the colony, it's a firm no.

Despite everything he's been through, Caesar does love humans, he think a part of him always will, so just keep trying and you will crack his shell.

Once you two finally have something akin to friendship, is when he finally learns that he can rely on you.

It isn't uncommon to see you holding Cornelius and walking to and from different parts of the colony, Caesar trying in vain to tell you to let the boy down, saying you'll start to spoil him (it's too late, Cornelius will start to go to you for when his dad tells him no.)

Caesar doesn't really think he'd ever find another mate, but without his notice, you start to fill in that role.

Spending the most time with him, helping him make decisions, taking care of Cornelius, helping the other apes learn and sign, you take on the role fairly well.

It isn't uncommon for you to tend to his wounds, he prefers to go to you versus the others, he acts akin to a child when in your care though, hissing dramatically when you rub a salve on his forearm. It results in you slapping his shoulder and it makes him laugh.

Speaking of laughing, he never thought having you around would lighten the weight of the world he constantly holds over his shoulders, you make him feel young again. Before all of this.

He grows fonder of you when he sees some aspects of Caroline in you, noting just how loving and caring you are not only to him, but to everyone, Maurice, Rocket, even Bad ape with how much of an odd ball he is.

Caesar may be the leader (and old, you remind him. He ignores you.) but it doesn't mean he can stay at the colony all day, he goes out to hunt with the others, and when he does, he'll come to you and do a palms up, waiting for your permission.

He doesn't need it, but it makes you feel better when you see him off.

Maybe this is me projecting but he is SO possessive of you, he's lost so much, he lost Buck, Luca, Blue eyes, Cornelia, Koba, Will, his grandfather.

It puts him on the defense, never wanting you to go anywhere without at least one ape to protect you. It'll lead to arguments you Will not win.

Sorry if you just want to go to the river to wash up, either he's coming with you or Rocket is. Too Bad so sad.

Other apes come to you to ask you to ask Caesar if they can do something they Know he would never approve of, it's because they know out of everyone here, with the exception of a handful of apes, you're his soft spot.

Many apes were concerned with you joining them, but you've earned your spot among them, you are loved and trusted.

Koba would be rolling in his grave, seeing you work alongside Caesar, being a genuinely good person and a loving companion.

[Proximus]

It's canon that Proximus has a fondness for humans, but it's so severely different than Caesars, no matter how much he claims to be like the former.

You're more so of a toy to him, similar to Trevathan, but while he reads the Bonobo literature and teaches him things, you're like a pet. You keep him entertained.

This isn't to say he treats you cruelly though, all things considered, you're taken care of fairly well with a lot of luxuries the other apes under his rule are not privy to.

You wear a collar, which is demeaning, but it is better than having a chain connected to it, so everyone knows you're his.

Poor Sylva being forced to be your guard when you ask if you can go walking alone the beach, he doesn't want to do it but he WILL (he becomes fond of you begrudgingly, partially out of respect for Proximus but you're too nice for your own good, asking him how his day is going and whatnot. He hates you.)

Proximus calls you pet, btw. He knows your name but will only use it when it's the two of you or for special occasions.

Brings you out into the colony to show you all the progress being made, he's looking for his ego to be inflated, go ahead and do it so you two can head back inside and get out of the heat.

He likes to show you off while he does, telling his subjects that you're special, like Nova was to Caesar. He's delusional and Caesar would be fucking pissed to be compared.

He doesn't need you to do much honestly, you're meant to sit there and look pretty and make him feel important. Maybe help him out with grooming and taking care of his belongings. He trusts you to mend and keep his crown and his attire in good condition.

Likes to play with your hair, the texture is different than apes, and he finds it soothing to run his fingers through it or just pet your head. Once again, it is very demeaning, but it could be worse.

Like Caesar, he is possessive and will try and limit your contact with the others in fear you'll like them more. Your little trio consists of you, himself, and Sylva. He lets you interact with Trevathan, but it's not an everyday thing.

He does care for you more than he'd ever admit, but it doesn't mean he'll particularly change for your sake, at least not intentionally. He's kinda insane and kinda a piece of shit, and you're aware of this.

Makes you sit next to him when he hosts dinners, making sure to pat your head and coo at you (When Noa first sees you at the table getting treated like how he'd treat an eagle, he gives you one of his signature side eyes bc lmao what the fuck is going on)

When it comes down to the ending of the movie when he dies, you're at a loss, Mae frankly thinks you're too far gone, and Noa is not willing to take a chance to offer you a home.

All you have really left to do is to go back to the colony and what's left of it, back to the remaining apes and humans still left unattended. Telling them they're free to go.

At some point among the years of being the closest to Proximus, you do care for him, and it's hard to think he's gone, he offered you a sense of security and belonging, but it's gone now.

ᴛʜᴀɴᴋ ʏᴏᴜ ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ꜰᴏʀ ʀᴇᴀᴅɪɴɢ ᴀɴᴅ ɪ ʜᴏᴘᴇ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇᴀʀ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʏᴏᴜ ꜱᴏᴏɴ!

[coreene]

Companions and Astarion on the 7k spawn

Since I am getting close to making this choice in my longfic I decided to compile what Astarion and companions say to the three choices we get on what to do with the 7k spawn once Astarion refuses the ritual and kills Cazador.

They're too dangerous - they need to die.

If I understand the flags correctly, this option also breaks the Paladin of Devotion's oath, it seems.

 Pale Petras: And when they're dead? Will you kill us too? Astarion: We're not like those wretches, brother. We've spent lifetimes controlling our hunger - they're all but feral. I don't relish it any more than you do, but putting them to rest may be the kindest thing we can do.

👆 This is Astarion's reaction if Petras is alive. 👇 This is when he is not.

Astarion: I don't like it, but you're right. Putting them to rest may be the kindest thing we can do.

What I find interesting here is how he flat out says "I don't like it." I didn't get that in game, got the first one but, seeing this gave me a pause.

Now to companion reactions to this choice:

Lae'zel: Snuffed out in an instant, but to whose satisfaction? They will never feed and never be hunted. And never have a chance to hew their own paths. Shadowheart (Shar path) : Wise choice. Now the streets will be safer and you'll be stronger. Shadowheart: All those lives, just snuffed out... I hope it was worth it. Wyll: Hells. They deserved better. They deserved a chance. Gale: All gone, just like that... I hope it was worth it. Karlach: It's done. Just like that. Gods, help us. Halsin: All those lives snuffed out, just to grasp some power. That was craven - unnatural Jaheira: A cold kind of mercy. But mercy still, I think, Astarion. Minsc: To end so many with only rhyming and words... the sword would have been messy, yes. But cleaner too, thinks Boo. Nightwarden Minthara: No different than burning out an infestation of vermin. It was well done.

Here, Halsin's is clearly an oversight because Astarion didn't just killed them to grasp more power.

Wyll's also feels out of place. He's a monster hunter - why is he mad that seven thousand spawn is not released to the Sword Coast?

Minthara has a unique point of view on the subject as well as Shar path Shadowheart - would killing the 7k spawn really make Astarion stronger?

Out of all the companions Jaheira is the only person who offers comfort in her words.

Let's release them. They deserve the same chance you got.

This choice breaks the oath of Paladin of Ancients.

Astarion: You're right. The poor wretches in the cells are innocent. They shouldn't have to suffer just because I lured them here.

And now to the companion reactions:

Lae'zel: A herd of vampire spawn, unleashed on the Sword Coast. What could go wrong? Shadowheart (Shar path): I can't say I'd have done the same, but your choice in the end. Shadowheart: You did the right thing. Some sacrifices just aren't worth it. Wyll: They're victims, Astarion - just like you. They deserve freedom, too. Gale: You chose well. They may not be the safest types to unleash, but their deaths would have weighed heavy on you. Karlach: Seven thousand Astarions, unleashed on the Sword Coast. It'll be a well-dressed flood of mayhem, at least. Halsin: Good - they deserve a chance at life. Nature will handle their fates from here. Jaheira: And what of the living they'll feast on, should they not prove as admirable as Astarion? They deserve a chance, too. Minsc: Boo thinks you are being hasty, friend. He enjoys the hunt as much as any hamster, but... that is a lot of Astarions. Nightwarden Minthara: If you release those ravenous starvelings, the city's poorer quarters will be their feasthall.

I really like a few of the reactions here. Gale makes such a good point. Their deaths would weigh heavily on Astarion but he forgets - what about the people these spawn will kill?

In both reactions, I feel like writers have completely forgotten Wyll was a monster hunter. It's really disappointing and lacks nuance.

Jaheira being, once again, the only person who mentions the consequences of this and Minthara makes a very good point. That is exactly what the spawn will do.

However, I do like Halsin's point in balance as well. Make no mistake, they will wreak havoc the first few weeks that they are released but I think about a 1/3 of the spawn is not gonna make it a month after being released and slowly their numbers will get balanced out.

Why not just leave them? They're not our responsibility.

And leaving them be breaks the oath of Paladin of Vengeance. I really like how one of these always break one of the oaths for paladins. It is interesting that leaving them be breaks the vengeance oath, which I interpret as Astarion leaving taking his revenge unfinished.

Dalyra is upset about this choice the most. And Astarion responds to her.

Astarion: I am done picking up after Cazador. I wash my hands of all of this. This place, this ritual, these people. You can stay if you want, but I have a life and I intend to live it. Come on. Let's go.

This does read as a selfish response to me but I also think, Astarion has a right to say "I'm done." He feels guilty about bringing the people to Cazador but what choice did he have? Can we really blame him for this? His siblings try to fight against Cazador and not bring Astarion back but they cannot, they have to fight. They have no control over their choices, their bodies. It is Cazador's mess and not Astarion's responsibility.

Companions do not react to this choice.

There are no good choices here, honestly. Astarion being have to be the one to clean up Cazador's mess is a cruel irony.

However, and I know all the companions and writers clearly held some kind of romantic view about letting the spawn go but this is seven thousand uncontrolled vampire that will get released into the world, all at once. They will die, of course but before then, they will kill people who had nothing to do with any of this.

Companions are very worried about killing these spawn but none of them, other than Jaheira, thinks about the people they will kill. Like she says, the people the spawn are going to kill deserve a chance to live as well.

It is also not just people they will kill, they will kill animals and disturb ecosystems everywhere they go and strip them barren like a swarm of locusts. Long term consequences of letting the spawn go is grim, even though it looks like a good choice at first glance but it is not.

Killing them all would also weigh heavy on both Astarion and Tav's conscience. It is not something you do and then walk away then never think about it again.

All in all, leaving them in the cells for the Gur to take care of or releasing them in waves seems like the better choices and a good compromise but constraints of the narrative doesn't give us this choice - it is undeniably more satisfying to see everything find a conclusion in that moment.

Tl:dr - There is no good or morally correct choice here. There is only a choice and its consequences.

[eldaryasharbinger]

MCL New Gen Ep. 8 Review!

Wow (yes that's all I have to say in this section this time...)

As per usual, everything goes below the cut (I'm a little late again, so sorry, life's been busy with mental issues and work lol)

I'm just going to start right away with my thoughts

When I first started the episode, at first I thought that it wasn't THAT bad, the vibes felt like a group of friends just joking around, roasting each other etc, Roy didn't feel uncomfortable to me at the beginning, more like "haha yeah guys I get it, so funny"

With my own group of friends we have all kinds of inside jokes and we often make fun of each other for silly things

But soon after that, I started feeling EXTREMELY uncomfortable, because I'm sure that the event could've slide if the characyhas STOPPED there, instead, they all just kept on going and making really fucking weird jokes?? I'm not going to quote them, because I'd rather avoid remind others, but I'm referring specifically to one that Thomas made

Speaking of Thomas, he was the worst in this episode, making werid-ass "jokes", being the "mastermind" with all of it, treating it as a "special" and "exciting" undercover mission?? wtf is wrong with you?

Also, I get that he knows a lot, is a great hacker etc, but as someone that struggles with paranoia (I've gotten better with it compared to how I was just a few months ago) I don't like it, why is he literally spying on his co-workers? And most of all, revealing their secrets like that?

Considering that we had (VERY FEW) options to express our discontent/disagreement/uncomfortableness during the episode, the writers KNEW that what they were doing wasn't good, I swear it could've went in a different and more positive direction SO EASILY, but instead they decided to make everyone sound like a creep, and make Amanda look like a party pooper or something, just for being reasonable?

Also, honestly, if they're all such good friends then sure, as long as all of them are fine with it, they can joke about anything and it shouldn't be my business, but since they kept on going DURING WORK HOURS, It was horrible.

Well, of course... We start the episode with him being shirtless again, like others have pointed out, I wish we could've said "yes, it actually does make me uncomfortable that you're walking around the office half-naked" but noo all we could say is "I don't mind" or "I've gotten used to it" (which is true, but still that's not very professional?? I get having each our own chair, but at least the rest of us are dressed 😔)

this was one of the biggest "wtf" moment to me, like ??? are you SANE or NOT?? Bro just go back to work and let that be, why involve pretty much everyone in the office on this stupid thing? what plan??? I felt so sorry for Roy, because seriously what he does in his own privacy shouldn't be entertaining to us, we weren't supposed to know about it, but Thomas being annoying had to go and reveal everything, maybe ruining the fun for Roy too?? Like, literally zero respect for privacy

Again, if we had these lines of dialogue, the writers KNEW what they were doing. So disappointed.

Also everyone else being told this and then acting like it's not that big of a deal? I would like to see them in Roy's position. Maybe then they'd understand, since they all want to pretend that it's not that bad. Also Roy clearly asked them to stop and move on from it, but they didn't want to because it was sOoO funny :/

Like at this point I'd ALMOST hope that they all get exposed for something like Thomas exposed Roy, so that they get a taste of their own medicine, but since this isn't real life it'll most likely never happen :/

errr,, sure,,, right after they tried to get us to join them and insisting that it's going to be a fun experience, wtf?

They won't FORCE you but they'll "peer pressure" you in a way :/

Okay well this did make me laugh a little, probably the only funny thing all of them said during the ep, the rest was just icky, to say the least

They said they didn't make him neurodivergent but come on now????? Is this a coincidence after another?

Also Candy going "When will i ever get the chance?" to swim naked, you literally have a pool at home girl, what are you even talking about 😭🙏🏻

Last thing I'll add before moving on to Jason's part of the episode (I have some more to say about the situation of the episode at the end) is Brune going "what is wrong with you??" After Roy splashed us with the water gun

GIRL??? BFFR???!!! THAT'S INSANE TO YOU???? WHAT ABOUT YOUR LACK OF RESPECT FOR PRIVACY WHAT THE HELL!!!! Sorry for swearing so much this time but can you blame me?? what other kind of reaction can one have 😭😭⁉️

About Jason

Sooo this was at the beginning of the episode! I'm loving every moment and every bit of the story with Jason, I really really really hope we'll end up with a more soft storyline with him, I've already said it before but I really don't want his story to turn into something extremely sexual, where that's all there is to the relationship

I'll genuinely quit his route if that happens, because as an asexual I just can't bring myself to enjoy that kind of content (if it's about other characters then I don't mind, but since our Candy is supposed to be "us" I'd still feel uncomfortable :( I've also given Petronilla so many of my own traits that it would be kind of difficult for me to differentiate completely)

Of course, so far, it seems that he's more gentle than he appears to be, so hopefully they'll keep it that way :(

I don't mind a little spice here and there, it's fun, but as a hopeless romantic I hope it'll be a sweet story in the end,, I don't think I'll say this enough haha,,

Two things, did his tattoo leak before or you're all really good at guessing?? And now I have to go back and update my other drawings... Yeah I won't do that but i'll try to keep it in mind (I still forget 'Nilla's freckles sometimes so not sure if I'll be able lol)

"Two things" I don't remember what the second one was or if I've already wrote it, I wrote that bit when I was laying down the draft for thw review so I forgot 😭🙏🏻

NOOOO I REALLY THOUGH THIS WAS REAL!!! I'm glad it wasn't because it would've been TOO SOON, but omg I was saying "What the fuck" repeatedly 😭🙏🏻 The scene was everything, but now it got me wondering which parts of it were real, and which were in our imagination? Like, when does the real part end and rhw fantasizing start?? Because I'd like if the only thing she imagined was the kiss, since everything esle was way too cute 😭😭

I haven't edited any of the recent Illustrations but I really want to do this one!! The only thing is that Petronilla should be on a stool or something because my girl is NOT that tall lmao

He looks so good too I'm so glad 😭🙏🏻 I'm always afraid after what they did to Leiftan's illustration in ANE 🥲 Like, so few of them are good, most look fcking weird to me 😭🙏🏻

The only thing I wish they made better was the different hair colors on our candy, sometimes they look so weird and out of place with the lighting :/

They should adjust the curves and all that, if you know what I mean, because the details get lost in the transition from one color to another

-------------------------------

Now that I feel like I've said pretty much all that came to mind, I want to finish by saying how everything that went bad in this episode could've been avoided by having the "same" ending (us at the pool/spa/whatever with our LI's)

If they really wanted to, they could've kept the first part of the episode (Thomas exposing Roy's secret that he swims naked)

BEFORE you get the wrong idea, I'd make that stop right after a little bit of friendly teasing (very little) and then I'd simply make the other characters interested in the idea of swimming naked or something, like they wanted to try it out

For Devon, idk how things are at that point if you're on his route, but since he's good friends with Roy, he could've asked him to let him try it, and maybe he'd invite candy too, not sure if that'd make sense

For Thomas, since from my understanding they end up on the beach, it could've went a similar way where him and candy want to try it out but maybe they didn't think to ask Roy to go to the pool, so instead they decided to go to the only other place that came to mind?

I'm not sure how Amanda's route goes, but I think it would still be the same thing since she wasn't interested in the pool anyway, and between girls I guess being naked before each other is different/more normal? (correct me if I'm wrong, I might've been born as one but since I'm trans I've always struggled with this kind of thing, always felt uncomfortable in swimsuits etc so I had a different kind of experience 💔)

While for Roy and Jason's route, they could've started the same, actually Jason's part could've stayed the same, idk how Roy's goes but since he's the one with the pool keys it just makes sense? (Sorry if I'M not making sense or if I'm writing these in a confusing way, I'm trying to be brief but I don't know if what I'm saying is something already in the episodes or not, I play on Jason's route after all 🥲)

So basically, centering the episode instead of spying on our coworker, into making us curious about the experience and try it for ourselves

Oh well, could've been should've been it's all done now and we know we won't get a change, let's all pretend nothing happened and hope that if something similar was programmed for upcoming episodes, that they'd change it (even a little) based on the current feedback 🙏🏻

Let me know if you have different opinions because I'm interested! (as long as it's not the same thing everyone's been saying...)

(I am not proofreading all that, so I'm sorry for any mistakes I made!!)

Thank you for your patience and for reading all this!

[daenysx]

hey!!!!! I just wanted to say that your writing is absolutely stunning!!! You are such a good writer and write the Hotd characters so well. Could I request fluffy daemon fic about him and the reader comforting each other after stressful days? I totally need that in my life rn 😂😂😂

thank you for this request and your sweet words, i hope you like it! i don't know why but i feel incredibly tense today, i just wanted to write this more comforting and fluffy. also i started to love writing soft!daemon, he is just too sweet to write. :(

my masterlist

curses & bubbles

after a horribly stressful day, you and modern!daemon try to comfort each other.

daemon targaryen is on the edge.

no, literally, he feels like he'll fucking explode. it's a terrible day, disastrous, awful. he wishes for it to end, even prays to the gods inside his head.

he watches the clock for minutes, has 5 more cigarette breaks, and drinks 2 cups of coffee in the same hour. even though he doesn't hate his job normally, today everything gets on his nerves. at least it's friday, he thinks. two days of rest and he'll be fine. hopefully.

when it's time to leave, finally, his phone rings and he sees your name on the screen. he smiles for the first time today since he left you in bed, as he was leaving earlier. he answers your call, impatient to hear your sweet voice.

"sweetheart?"

"oh my god, can you tell me what the hell is wrong with today? are we cursed or something?" you sound tired and frustrated.

"well, if it'll make you feel better my day was horrible too. i think we might actually be cursed."

he hears you exhale. "i'm going home now. did you leave the office?"

"yes, i'm on my way. see you at home, baby."

you say the same words and hang up. daemon drives fastly, silently begging for some relief. he is too tense, he just wants to find some comfort.

he opens the door with his key, and finds you lying on the couch with your clothes on. your skirt is wrinkly and your heels are thrown out on the floor.

"sweetheart?"

you lift your head as you hear his voice. you leave the couch to jump into his open arms, wrapping your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist. he holds you there for a few moments, inhales the scent of your hair and feels the comfort it brings him. you press a kiss on his neck beneath his collar.

"i missed you." your voice sounds muffled as you talk.

"i missed you too. terrible day, right?"

"mm-hmm. i just wanted it to be over."

he nods, carries you to the bedroom. "let's have a long bath, shall we?"

you nod happily. you love long baths with daemon, he knows how much you love them and he has grown to love them too. you spend hours covered in bubbles as you sit between his legs, and daemon thinks you look adorable. too adorable for his pathetic heart.

"you take off your clothes, i'll prepare the bath." he says.

"and bubbles, daemon."

"of course bubbles, sweetheart."

you take off your clothes and put your hair in a messy bun on top of your head. he comes out of the bathroom, opening the buttons of his shirt, and you can hear the sound of water filling the tub. you walk to him, help him take his shirt off and press a kiss on his chest. he takes off the rest of his clothes and carries you to the bathroom as you laugh.

the tub looks perfect. it smells perfect, too. you think you both deserved this after a long and dreadful day. daemon gets in the tub, his muscles welcome the warm water and soft bubbles. he opens his arms for you and you adjust yourself comfortably between his thighs.

"this is amazing." you whisper.

"yes, fucking amazing."

you put your head on his chest as he strokes the skin of your waist. your fingers play with bubbles and draw foamy shapes on his chest. you hum softly when he brings his fingers on the spot between your neck and shoulders, the muscles there are tense and hardened. you can't help but softly moan when he presses his fingers harder.

"you like that, baby?" he asks. you nod, look at him with big eyes.

"come on, turn around then." he says.

you turn around and your back is against his chest now. he leans and kisses the back of your neck. he kisses your shoulders, and starts massaging the tender muscles there.

"you should relax for me."

you inhale and exhale a deep breath. the water is perfect, bubbles are perfect, and daemon's hands are perfect. his big hands easily cover your shoulders, he applies just the right amount of pressure on your achy muscles. your eyes close after a few minutes, melting to him, and smiling.

"i'm gonna fall asleep on you if you keep doing that."

he chuckles. "it's fine by me. wouldn't be the first time, anyway."

you try to turn around to see his face and he helps you. you see him smiling softly. you smile back, the tension long gone.

"do you want me to return the favor?"

he leans closer to you, cups your cheeks and kisses your lips. he kisses you as you sat there all naked and softened for him, sitting between his thighs covered in bubbles.

"you're too sweet for me." he says.

you bring your hands to his neck as you return the kiss. daemon keeps you there until the water gets cold. he helps you get out of the tub and wraps a soft towel around you. you go to the bedroom to wear your clothes and he does the same.

"so, which one of your shirts should i wear tonight?"

he smiles. "we have to choose a different shirt for each night?"

you nod, as if this is a deadly serious thing to decide. "yes, and i should also choose a pair of knee socks. it's all about the colors, daemon."

he gives you his blue shirt, loves seeing you in his clothes. you find yourself a pair of knee socks. he dresses into comfy clothes as well and you leave the bedroom.

"hungry, sweetheart?" he asks.

you shake your head. "not really, but coffee would be perfect."

he nods. he doesn't feel like eating as well. he takes two of your favorite coffee mugs and prepares coffee quickly. you are lying on the couch on your usual spot and he puts the mugs on the coffee table before he joins you. he pulls your legs on his lap and you lean to the pillows. he hands you your coffee mug and you two drink your coffees when you talk about your own dreadful days.

when the coffees are finished, he pulls you closer, you sit on his lap, and wrap your arms around his neck. you caress his beautiful hair, kiss the spot beneath his ear and he wraps the fluffy blanket around your shoulders.

he holds you there like a baby, rubs your neck and your back. your eyes get heavy with the warmth and the feeling of safety in his arms.

"sleepy, baby?"

you nod. "can we go to bed?"

he turns off the television, the movie you chose for some background noise long forgotten. "of course we can."

he carries you to the bedroom and you find enough strength to go to the bathroom to brush your teeth. he does the same and you both return to bed finally. he holds the covers open for you and takes you in his arms. you kiss his neck before whispering good night and closing your eyes.

he forgets all about his stressful day then. you give him the hope of waking up to a new day, new possibilities. he would've think that is a little bit fucked up before but now he smiles and accepts it. he just holds you closer, kisses your hair, and rubs your back until he is sure you're comfortably sleeping.

"good night, sweetheart."

[dear-space-cadet]

the human fear predictions, song-by-song

i see this album being a follow-up to right thoughts right words right action in a sense. a lot of the songs here started appearing, at least somewhat, in 2016. i think there were plans for a rtrwra follow up that was more 'on-theme' but it got scrapped due to ffs, and then alex got obsessed with disco for a little bit and hired a synthpop twink on guitar. now that we're back to somewhat normal, i think it's time for the post-rtrwra songs to shine. i also see a lot of the ychismb+2005 b-sides motifs happening here already (swallow smile, wine in the afternoon, l. wells, jeremy fraser, ghost in a ditch, walk away, fade together). alex appears to be the primary lyric writer now too so that influences everything you are about to read

overall -- rtrwra without the american southwest influence/rtrwra not produced by todd terje; ychismb+2005 b-sides with less edge and more age

playlist of what i think the general vibes will be

audacious

already out so i will not be doing this one. i personally rate it around a 3/10 for my own tastes

everydaydreamer (4/10)

another "children of the world" "be a good person" chorus

'political' but doesn't take an actual stance (like paper cages or huck and jim)

miaoux miaoux synth riff

really throws off the rest of my predictions but i feel like we ease into the farmhouse truck stop from peepeetown to poopooville shit in the back half

the doctor (6/10)

evil eye spiritual successor

a good song but the imagery will make me uncomfortable or alex will not be singing well so i'll just tune it out (similar to treason animals)

potential itao reference? (buckle up)

hooked (10/10)

THEE banger of the album

i have high hopes for this one

they let dino cook. and cook he will

potential spiritual successor to fabulously lazy. a girl can dream

build it up (5/10)

this is a crowd-pleaser live song and will not be made any better with a studio version

if you like it you like it. it will not be made any better or worse with a studio recording. why is this even on the album

night or day (8/10)

this might be the one where alex 'plays the game' lyrically

spiritual successor to right action. "now how can we leave you to a saturday night or a sunday morning"

alternatively it could be a very "i'm there for you" "be a good person" song and rank around 3/10 but i want to ignore the potential for that. i dont want that to be true

tell me should i stay (5/10)

either a typical alexing with all the usual alexisms or the spiritual successor to bullet

clara feature (they make audrey anna-prior-it-out live)

potentially just a nick/manuela diss track again, which is actually the better outcome

cats (2/10)

just the stupidest shit ever

likely instrumental

either a big band flop OR a julian synth moment (which would bump it to a potential 6/10)

could also be "frogs" from the 2016 LP5 tracklist, but renamed to represent the cat imagery in franz now. if so, very farmhouse, very truck stop instrumental moment. potential 6/10 there too

or alex doing an alex. time will tell. it will suck

i pray for a second steckrube mention but it's unlikely

black eyelashes (8/10)

in my heart this is a fade together/walk away follow-up. maybe an eleanor boots follow up

potential nick mccarthy diss track. they might hit the pentagon here

could also be a clara love track but i doubt it being so obvious after what happened with ms eleanor

i need to love this song sowwyyyy if it sucks it's not my fault

could also be a black tuesday/scarlet and blue revision (bc i see black tuesday as a revision of scarlet and blue already) but that is wishful thinking

bar lonely (9/10)

first seen in 2016 and likely written beforehand (nick + paul influence plus pent-up feelings)

idk if it'll be good, but i do have high hopes bc it's been in the chamber for so long

this could also be the one where they hit the pentagon on nick. likely not but the title gives roasting a guy. this could also be the bullet follow-up but i doubt it if it was written sometime between 2014-2016

the birds (7/10)

spiritual successor to the universe expanded

existential. a bit overdone, but that's whatever

also potential walk away tie-in bc of the alfred hitchcock's the birds post-war tie-ins there

maybe another 'political' yet stanceless song focusing on modern anxiety, like the theme of the birds

ends with birds chirping like fade together

that is all i have for you. feel free to add yours or tell me what you think. i'll come back to this in january

[frasier-crane-style]

So, since you're watching Netflix Voltron, I think it's important you know a few things that went on behind the scenes of this show. It'll make the mess the plot became more apparent.

They were originally going to kill Shiro off, like in one of the two original anime which were spliced together to make Voltron, Beast King GoLion (that show is actually free on YouTube, along with the other half of OG Voltron, Dairugger XV), which would have motivated Keith to be leader, but Dreamworks and World Event Productions saw he was too popular to kill. Plus, Steven Yeun, Keith's VA, was busy with The Walking Dead as well, so that explains his absence sometimes.

And the final two seasons would've been vastly different, if it weren't for one of the head writers and showrunners leaving because of Dreamworks' and WEP's bs meddling.

And you'll soon learn what people mean when they say "Allura Deserved Better", because she was one of the few modern animated female characters who actually felt like a character, and she was done dirty.

Though, on another note, I hope you're at least enjoying some things about the show.

Yeah, figured it'd be stuff like that. There's a weird tendency there to repeat plot points--Keith becoming the leader, quitting being the leader, going back to being the leader--Shiro being captured and escaping suspiciously, then being captured again and escaping suspiciously again--which feels like the story go off-course, so they had to awkwardly repeat the set-ups so they could get to the pay-offs they wanted to do in the first place.

All in all, it reminds me of later seasons of Young Justice, where there's just all this focus on a myth arc that grows and grows and grows until it's taken over the entire narrative and crowded out most everything else. I suppose it's admirable that they're trying to keep an eye on the plot instead of totally pandering to the fandom with slice-of-life and shipping, but at a certain point, it feels like a sign of insecurity to keep the same storyline going and going. Like they're too scared to close off the plotline and take a chance on a new one.

I'm just saying, I would not've guessed they'd get to Season 8 and still be talking Zarkon Family Drama.

[dragonmarquise]

Wren's Very Long BRC Relationship Headcanons Post

Emphasis on very long, there's a lot of them listed here. Not just romantic ships, but also friendships, rivalries, and even exes!! Some of these I only did a little blurb about, others have a paragraph in their own right, lol

Like I mentioned last night, I want to write at least some oneshots of some of these (especially some of the romantic ships, you can probably guess which ones 😈), but I don't know where to start since I have given myself Too Many Options. :u

So if there's a particular one you want me to ramble about, feel free to send in an ask! If anything I encourage it, since I'm hoping it'll help push me in the right direction to eventually write some fics about these. One relationship per ask please, and note that some of these I'll have a lot more to say than others!

Friendships:

In general, I think in each crew, the crew members get along with each other well enough to call each other friends. Probably the only exception is Veronica of FUTURISM, given I made her the one teammate that the rest don’t like. :u

Bel, Mesh, and Shine are the kind of people who try to be friends with everyone, or at the very least make a conscious effort to get along with everyone in the Bomb Rush Crew!

Mesh & Cueball in particular as friends is one I wanna point out here! Cueball starts out being suspicious of Mesh, because he doesn’t realize Mesh is just being nice. Poor Cueball has no friends outside of DOT EXE, and even then he didn’t get along with them better until after Eight Ball’s death and Cueball leaving that crew to join BRC. Him and Mesh eventually become pretty good friends, and that leads to him getting along better with the rest of the crew too!

Eventually Mesh and Cueball also become friends with Sai too! Sai being my Devil Theory OC who joins BRC. He was kinda in the same situation as Cueball, being suspicious about people being nice to him, but they win him over eventually. :P

Rise, Shine, and Rave in particular end up being a trio of besties~

And the “Core 5” members (Tryce, Bel, Felix, Vinyl, and Solace) are besties too!!

I’ve mentioned this in the past, but all 4 Devil Theory members were friends for a long time before forming their crew, and still remain best friends!

Rivals:

Daishō vs. Tryce, mostly the former trolling the latter, such as specifically putting graffiti over Tryce’s own pieces. Tryce tries to not let it get to him, emphasis on “tries”.

Sai vs. Red, as a friendly rivalry where they fight each other in sparring matches. Note, Red is a separate person from Felix in my headcanons after the events of the game (I’ve changed how Red exists in my headcanons since the last time I talked about him; long story short they find a writer’s cyberhead mind that’s in need of a new cyberhead, and Felix had been rebuilding the Red cyberhead for himself as a replacement for his old mask, so…)

Rietveld vs. Nunchaku (Nunchaku being another Devil Theory OC, she’s a trans butch lesbian!), this one is kind of a one-sided thing on Rietveld’s part. Basically at one point Bel has a crush on Nunchaku, while Rietveld had a crush on Bel, and thus thinking a rivalry is gonna happen. But thankfully for Rietveld, Nunchaku turns Bel down (Nunchaku is more into other butches). The “rivalry” basically fizzles out after that, especially once Rietveld was finally able to ask Bel out. :P

Okay, so now getting into the romantic ships, I'm breaking them up into 3 sections, one with just canon characters, the second with canon characters paired with one of my OCs, and the last being canon x OC with the OCs in this case being ones I haven't even drawn yet, lol...

Romantic (Only canon characters):

DJ Cybr x Felix; Cylix, Cyber Kings, whatever you want to call it! I like to think both of them keep shuffling their feet on it for a long while, with flirting from DJ going over Felix’s head sometimes, and one being convinced the other just wants to be friends, etc.

Bel x Rietveld (inspired by some of @supraandhergoreshia's doodles of them, like this, and this, and also this one, and this really cute one ;u; )

Shine x Coil (inspired by some of @monkiinart's art of them together, such as this, and this one, also especially this one ahh)

Mesh x Solace (inspired by KOMAP's art of them!! Like this, and this, and this! There's more doodles of these two on KOMAP's Xitter too :> )

Romantic (Canon x OC):

Rise x Sai (Devil Theory spring palette), fake dating turned into real dating oh no, lol

Bō (Devil Theory winter palette) x Cueball, computer nerds dating each other, though also as Cueball puts it, “Nerd boyfriend? Jock boyfriend?? Pfft,��� *gesturing towards Bō* “Get yourself a man who can do both!!”

Vinyl x Nunchaku (Devil Theory summer palette), butch lesbians together!!

Daishō (Devil Theory autumn palette) x Vela (Eclipse spring palette), or rather Hiro x Sara (i.e. their respective real names), since each of them don’t know the other is a writer… yet

Quatorze (14-ball DOT EXE) x Jūrō (10-ball DOT EXE), though that’s a given since they’re a married couple. Together and still in love, even after going full-cyber!!

Escher x Cinco, old man yaoi basically lol. And I do mean actually old man, Cinco is in his 60s, and I imagine Escher is either around the same or in his 50s at the very least.

Nyx (FUTURISM spring palette) x Aquila (Eclipse summer palette), as discussed in a previous post of mine!

Veronica x Faux, but they weren’t actually dating, she just had a major crush on him. She swears she’s over him after the whole Project Algo thing, but nah, she’s lying, #1 Faux stan right here lmao

Romantic (With OCs that I haven’t even drawn/talked about publicly yet, lmao...):

Rave x Cuervo, he’s a former member of the Umbra Apex crew I made a long while ago

Red x Cress, I’m not even sure how much I can say about this character without spoiling for future potential fics. Red meets them under very unusual circumstances, I’ll say that much.

Lyra (Eclipse autumn palette) x Cherry, an OC who works in New Amsterdam as a tattoo artist. I actually have a few ideas for “new NPCs” for the game to add additional features and minigames, Cherry being one of them.

Michael (Franks autumn palette) x Monica, OC who runs this sort of skate/stunt park for writers in Millennium Mall. She’s also one of the “new NPCs” I mentioned before. Her skate park would basically be a minigame area for getting high scores in exchange for stuff you can display at the hideout. Also-also she’s Tryce’s aunt :P

Exes:

Rise and Faux, absolute disaster of a relationship, not even in a fun way. My version of Faux makes for a horrendously selfish boyfriend, lmao. After the relationship finally ended, Faux referred to Rise as “an egotistical uppity bitch”, and Rise still refers to Faux as “the most insufferable white boy I’ve ever had the displeasure of dating”.

Sai and Daishō, they dated back in secondary school (i.e. roughly high school), because they figured they love each other platonically as best friends, so why not romantically? Unfortunately, things get awkward real fast for two reasons: First, Daishō realizes he’s definitely straight (Sai in comparison is bi), and second, despite the previous point Daishō actually forced himself to keep up the relationship because he really didn’t want to break Sai’s heart. The truth came out eventually and they managed to talk things out and go back to being best friends. Which is probably a miracle that they were able to stay as friends at all, considered what happened and how awkward things got for them for a while there.

Tryce and Bel, the idea being that they tried dating when they were younger (they were not friends previously, so this was something arranged via a dating app or something), but then Bel realizes she’s a lesbian and they have an amicable break up and stay friends afterwards. They only went on one or two dates at that point, and found they got along but just not in a romantic way (and also, again, Bel is a lesbian). So then, this is a far less awkward version of Sai and Daishō’s temporary romantic relationship. :u

Other:

Twoson (2-ball DOT EXE) + Fourside (4-ball DOT EXE) will flip flop on what exactly their relationship is, and give different answers every time either of them is asked. Best friends, friends with benefits, romantic, queerplatonic, etc. They definitely have a deep relationship and care about each other, with Fourside in particular being very protective of Twoson if things get ugly. Still, neither of them likes putting any particular label/definition to what’s going on between them.

[prettyboybuckley]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @saybiwithme @bi-buckrights @zainclaw

How many works do you have on ao3?

160

What's your total ao3 word count?

1,070,239

What fandoms do you write for?

I've mostly written for 9-1-1, though I started off with Shameless (6 fics) and I have written some for Teen Wolf (5 fics). There's one 9-1-1 crossover with Schitt's Creek.

Top five fics by kudos:

parents always yelling (telling us to get our acts together)

i just want something to hold on to (and a little of that human touch)

I will come to you (even in my sleep)

open up again (i believe in second chances)

exes and the oh's

Do you respond to comments?

Always, even if it takes me months. I actually just caught up again (there's still a bunch to go, but right now the oldest is 17 days ago instead of 250 days...). It's just a rule I have for myself, and even with the backlog I've kept it up so far, so I'm not going to stop doing it now.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I'm not a big fan of angsty endings, I generally try to at least make it a hopeful ending or, in the case of the college au, use an epilogue to fix things.

But I guess sunny skies & summer highs qualifies as an angsty ending simply because of the cliffhanger (and yes, there is still going to be a continuation, I'm working on it 🙈).

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Choosing one out of 160 is really hard, but I think tell me, will you stay or will you run away is definitely one that deserves a mention here, because it already has a happy ending and then the epilogue just makes it even better 🥰

Do you get hate on fics?

Not commented on the fic itself, no. I've had some people talk shit about my fics on twitter, though, and not even vaguely but calling me by (user)name.

Do you write smut?

Is grass green? Yeah, I write smut 🤭 Thanks to two times kinktober, I have 95 explicit fics, by far the most used rating for my fics.

Craziest crossover:

let's have some fun tonight is my 9-1-1/Schitt's Creek crossover fic for 9-1-1 Rarepair Week, and my only crossover fic

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

My head over feet Buddie valentine's two-parter got posted as one chapter in Wattpad work with over 30 fics once. Filed a DMCA and Wattpad took it down within two hours.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Two of my fics have been translated into Russian afaik, one on ao3 and one on Ficbook

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Nope. It may be a nice challenge for the future? Not sure who I'd do it with.

All time favourite ship?

Gotta go for Buddie on that one, lol. Especially if you look at my writing history. But I often tend to hyperfixate on one ship at a time (current reading obsession is McDanno)

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Buck's POV of if love is art then you might be my masterpiece. I really want to, but at this point it's been two years since the original so I don't know if it'd be worth it either. (I know not everyone was happy about how I ended it, but I doubt any of them are still waiting for more). Writing a different POV of the same fic takes an amount of planning that my brain just really struggles with. And I could pick up where the last chapter (before the epilogue) picks up, but I think that way there would be some crucial information about Buck missing.

What are your writing strengths?

I've been told quite a lot of times that I am good at keeping characters, well, in character, even when putting them in partial or complete AU's. Of course, what is in character or not is subjective, but I do always challenge myself to work as much of the canon backstory and personality into who they are in the AU as possible.

And I like to think I'm pretty good at writing smut.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm terrible at pacing, which multiple of my long fics prove. It'll be drawn out first and then suddenly rushing. And being ESL I do struggle with things like sentence structure and grammar pretty regularly still.

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

As long as there is some kind of translation provided somewhere I like it, but I'm not so quick to use it myself. Not beyond a few Spanish words here and there (generally pet names between Eddie and his family we've seen on the show or the occasional curse word when I feel it fits better than an English one, but I usually need to employ help from Spanish-speaking friends for those).

First fandom you wrote in?

Shameless! I binged that right before I started 9-1-1 and combined with the creative writing minor I was doing, it was actually what got me back into writing in general and what made me write my first ever fic.

Favorite fic you've written?

My in your arms i feel safe-series (which I always lovingly refer to as the ace kink fic) is definitely one of my favorites simply because of how personal it is to me and for the reason behind me writing it in the first place.

Other strong contenders are i would've loved you forever (it's never enough but i wanted it to be) and i'm begging you, come home to me (Teen Wolf, Thiam)

tagging @monsterrae1 @rogerzsteven @loserdiaz @watchyourbuck

[kikidoesfanfic]

Demogorgon daily prompt for the word Lucas on the Stranger Things Writers Guild! G

Assume the setup for this is Steve carrying Eddie into the ER all bloodied and heroic before eventually collapsing cause sepsis and concussions and such and such and ending up in the hospital as well. It's been a few days, Max is awake cause El, Eddie is cleared, things are great.

~~~

"-eel safer when you're around, even Mike." Eddie surfaces disoriented, hears a voice but can't quite place it in the moment of groginess with the beeping and the stark white room assaulting his eyes and the hospital smells burning at his nose. "You know he'd never admit that though."

A pause.

"Louisville beat out LSU by eleven yesterday, it was a pretty good game, I thought maybe we could watch it, I got my dad to... tape it... for me." Lucas, the voice is Lucas, wobbly as it gets towards the end. "The finals are tomorrow so, you should hurry up and wake up, you know? You're gonna miss it. I know Indiana didn't get very far but, you like Louisville right?"

Eddie cracks his eyes back open slowly, brightness of the room a lot less harsh the second go around, and looks over towards where Lucas is sitting. His back is facing Eddie and he's perched in a chair at someone's bedside, *Steve's bedside*. which, shit, the last thing Eddie remembers is... huh, bats, telling Dustin he loved him, Steve's worried face hovering over him.

So what happened to Steve?

"I have to go soon, Mom wants help setting up Max's room, she's gonna stay with us until she can get the casts off her arms, remember?" Lucas sighs, "I think she was hoping you'd wake up before she got sent home, it'll be hard to bring her to visit."

Eddie doesn't know if he should interrupt the moment, Lucas' voice taking on that wet quality that signals tears, Eddie's never been the best at dealing with tears. Hasn't been the best at dealing with Lucas in general really, which, he grimaces, is something he still needs to fix.

"Steve. Come on man you have to wake up soon. You promised to take me to see the Pacers, who else is gonna do that?" A sniffle, and Eddie can see Lucas wipe his sleeve across his face. "None of the other's even came to my game, but you-"

He sobs, a cut off quiet sound hand coming up to cover his mouth, and it gives Eddie time to feel like shit about that one before Lucas continues. God he was a dick about that, Steve had chewed him out about it too.

"I was on the bench and you still came." Lucas' voice lowers to a whisper and he adds, "you have to get better, Steve, nobody else understands like you do."

He stands, taking a deep breath to settle himself he grabs Steves hand, giving it a pat and then fiddles with his blankets so they sit just so.

"Dustin will be here in a few, I'll see you soon, Steve, rest up." Call Eddie a coward, though he thinks he's earned a few weeks leeway on that at the very least, but he quickly snaps his eyes shut before Lucas can turn. He shouldn't have heard any of that, it wasn't for him, he has things to make right with the kid but now's not the time for that either.

Lucas pauses at the foot of Eddie's bed on his way out, taps the railing twice before he goes on his way.

Yeah, they definitely need to talk, Eddie thinks as he opens his eyes again to look over at Steve resting quiet in his bed. He's got a few apologies to make, jocks aren't all bad, after all.

AO3

[doomhamster]

A depressing realization: Larian have apparently characterized both Ravengards as total morons.

The thing is, Mizora monitors Wyll, somehow, to some extent. "Thanks" to the rewrite, the "she uses my stone eye to contact and spy on me" thing is no longer canon, so we don't know how, but she has to - her numerous arrivals are simply too opportune otherwise, and when she comes for him after he spares Karlach, she already knows he's disobeyed her.

It's not hard to figure this out from an in-world perspective, either. She'd need to.

This is why I've been assuming that the difference in outcome, if Ulder had known the truth about Wyll's pact from the first, would've been emotional and not practical. Even though Wyll is demonstrably willing to die and give up his soul rather than do evil deeds on behalf of the Hells, he's an unwilling and unknowing spy for the Hells; he can't really avoid being a danger to the city.

Except that... it doesn't work. Because when Wyll returns, even if he's still pacted to Mizora, he can become a Duke of Baldur's Gate. Even the Grand Duke, with Ulder stepping down in his favor!

If you're playing Wyll's origin, you do get the option of saying you shouldn't rule Baldur's Gate while a devil rules you, or something. And if you're not, IIRC you can point it out that "maybe this isn't a good idea". But if not, neither Wyll nor Ulder seems to even consider it.

Which... Well. Thanks to Larian we don't know what that means! If this were a solidly written game and Mizora a halfway competent antagonist, it would spell disaster. They'd be in a position where they might as well be CCing all confidential information to Zariel directly for all the hopes they'd have of keeping any secrets from the Hells.

But this isn't a solidly written game, or at least, Wyll's writer didn't give a shit. So we don't know. Maybe it'll be just fine. Maybe Mizora is just that incompetent.

...but then that does make Wyll look rather less smart and capable than I personally think we're supposed to believe. "My patron is a short-sighted idiot who can't plot her way out of a wet paper bag, and in seven years I still couldn't come up with a way to persuade her to let me go" doesn't sound too good, does it?

Ugh. Seriously, Mr. Vanord, I hope you do better in your next job. And I wish you the guts to say no to ones you hate as much as you clearly hated writing for Wyll.

[feiandart]

Hi Fei, not sure if this message becomes public or not but I couldn't find any other way to contact you. Just wanted to apologise for my comment on chapter 35. I realise in retrospect it might have seemed rude, I was trying to be funny. So, I'm very sorry, and I don't want you to think I didn't enjoy the chapter. I have deleted the comment. If I may take this chance as well, you have been an inspiration to me, I love your writing. I am too an aspiring writer that took a sabbatical for many years, though my self doubt is my biggest saboteur right now. I would love to know how you honed your craft, your words are so beautifully written. I look forward to the next chapter ♥

First of all, hello and thank you for reaching out to me! ♥

I'm afraid my memory doesn't work properly (it never does, sadly), but I'm pretty sure no comment made me think "oh, that was rude", so don't worry at all ♥ Gonna admit now I'm curious 'bout what that was owo But I will not ask for you to share that again if it makes you feel uncomfortable!

Your words means a lot to me! ♥ I had inspiration issues for half of my life. I was around fifteen when I wrote my last paragraph, and after that I didn't for other fifteen years. Honest to God, Good Omens and its community saved me in more than a way when I was at my lowest - helped me both with coming back at writing, and starting drawing for myself. I startend enjoying things again. And I needed that. So, since finding inspiration again was so meaningful to me, being able to inspire others is like I achieved something so big I can't really find words to express it properly. It makes me feel kinda... Oh, dunno. I guess we can go with: blessed. Finding inspiration was (and is) an healing process to me. And I hope it'll be the same to others. So if it came to me, I can only be SO glad to know!! So thank you so much for sharing this!! ♥

Let me tell you this: I am my biggest saboteur myself. So I do understand what you say, and I can guess what you feel right now. My suggestion is something practical. Go in front of the mirror, tell yourself what you want to do and look straight into your eyes. Then, say: "I will do it. And you will NOT stop me." Then say the same to all the people who might go against you. Nobody, not even yourself, should have the power to stop you from doing the things you love. It may be hard at the very start, troublesome meanwhile, but I can assure you nothing's better than being able to live your dreams. All I can do for you now is assuring you I am on your side! And I am sure you can do whatever makes you feel happy.

Last, but not least (dear Lord I wrote so much and I'm not done yet.......), your last question. Funny thing to answer that one, actually. 'cause I never practiced. I never studied a way to arrange phrases and words, actually right now I'm always a bit overwhelmed anytime I sit myself in front of the screen and open my file to start writing. I'll tell you, I'm the messiest people in the entire universe. I had all the plot already written back in november, but yet my characters slip off my hands and do whatever they want. Does it makes any sense to you? I have to costantly re-arrange my plot to make sure everything have some kind of logic. The rest come from my own mind. Sugar, specifically, means a lot to me under a lot of different aspects. Both characters holds part of myself, my own traumas, my own experiences, my own mazes and struggles. I think maybe sometimes things went when I didn't want them to go 'cause my mind played dirty on me and I was unable to stop it. But I don't complain. So I'm afraid I don't have a real answer but this one: I just put myself into every single word I write. I play all the scenes in my mind just like watching movies. I feel what my characters does and, I will not deny this, oftern I cry while doing that too. I'm a bit too much emphatic, perhaps?

Gonna admit, writing Sugar is exactly like going to therapy to me. Goes just along with that, it helps me process myself, my own emotions, helps me validate anything bad I've ever felt.

Well uh, I got pretty carried away with this answer but I hope you can find something helpful around all of these messy words of mine ♥ (And sorry for my poor english if I made some mistake here and there, I fully believe in honest-to-God messages when it comes to answer people, both in comments, chat or anywhere else, so I never actually go back trying to correct my messages. Dunno, it feels like leaving you all full access to my stream of consciousness everytime I give answers like these. Not sure this makes sense. To me it does.)

Don't ever ever be afraid to tell me what you think or reach out! I'll always be here, happy to give you an answer. Thank you so much! ♥

[glassshard]

Blue Eye Samurai ending spoilers>>

I stayed up way too late finishing off the show and I'm glad I did! I've never seen a better written animated series. It's kind of a unicorn. Creator-driven series written for adults that isn't some poor hireling desperately trying to express something meaningful through a corporate IP. No shade on all the earnest animated video game and capeshit out there, but- well yeah. Maybe a little shade. Fanfiction is always easier.

BES also wasn't just an occasionally edgy YA show like ATLA or Korra (or the Spiderverse stuff, sorry) or style over substance like the old MTV series. The creators had an idea, and they sweat blood to make it happen. Kudos to Netflix for letting them do their thing.

That ending though, man. I get wanting to subvert what everyone was expecting. And I trust these writers to know what they're doing. When someone gives you eight hours of badassery, you give them the benefit of the doubt. But it's bad feels not getting the catharsis of the Big Bad's demise at the end. The show does a fantastic job of making you despise Fowler. He's not a grey villain, he's friggin' Satan. And you don't get to see him drown in his own blood after all that struggle! It's rough!

What's even a little more alarming though is the reality of Mizu leaving all the cool characters and hanging relationships she's spent the whole series building up. And why? To go to London?? That's weird! London is gross! I don't like the idea of leaving the rest of the cast behind! I hope the writers have some kind of awesome idea for English shenanigans to make up for losing them. Will the story bounce back to Japan to see what Akemi's doing and how Taigen deals with the rejection? I care at least as much about them as about Mizu. Ringo's probably safe making kitchen knives tho.

Leaving so much unresolved is tough stuff. It'll be years before a second season comes out - and maybe it never will. If that happens, I'm going to be pissed that they structured their story this way. But if it does happen and it's worth the wait, then I admire the bravery.

I just got three criticisms that caught my eye: The Fowler fight was way too similar to the giant fight. What I would have loved to see was Fowler with an arsenal of hidden guns and him and Mizu fighting each other through the burning building as she slowly whittled down his fire power before ultimately savaging him. Any time you pit Mizu hand to hand against anyone with such obviously massive physical strength, you're shattering the illusion. Even if she was a dude, she's a dex build. I'm still not clear on what she bit off Fowler's face to escape that hold. It wasn't his nose or tongue? Clarity there would have been nice and felt good.

Seki's death was flagged so hard it almost ruined the impact for me because then I was just looking for it to happen. RIP Seki, he was such a cool character.

The licensed tracks were always distracting. No anachronistic music in a period piece!

[inklore]

hi my love! do you have any writing tips? and words of encouragement when fics flop :(

hi darling <3 i feel like i always suck at giving writing tips but i'll try my very best for you ok. i hope some of these help! also very honored you'd even ask me 🤎

first and foremost: don't compare your writing to anyone else. everyone writes different, everyone has a certain style, a niche. if you're worried you don't have a 'style' don't, because you do. everyone does. it's not something you can make yourself have or take from others, it comes naturally with how your brain works and how it curates words and prose and scenes. that's why no book, no writing, is ever the same even if it's the same source material. it's a beautiful thing so don't stress about trying to make your writing sound or 'read' like other writers. it'll only ruin the enjoyment of how you write!

if you want to write more detailed just remember that not everything in a scene needs to be put down. the more you give the reader room to fill in the blanks and set the scene themselves the better experience for them (at least that's the case for my brain, others may feel different, but doing it this way makes me feel like i'm not adding too much detail or being repetitive). but visualizing, setting the scene for yourself through music or daydreaming is another great tip to write more detailed.

when it comes to smut i am a huge stan of you don't have to say the anatomically correct part they're using (like the p words or c word), and describing what it feels like to have that part touched, grazed, etc is really great. i struggle with fear of repeating myself so i try to find creative ways to describe body parts without actually calling them like flowery/nouns/different synonyms. i hope that made sense lmao.

don't worry about edits or making everything flow completely well in the first take. i highly rec everyone editing their own work and reading it back to themselves, yes it's tiring but it helps you find flow mistakes, add more detail, take something out that you thought fit in the moment but doesn't really. that's why i get everything out the first get go in a kind of fever dream manner and then when i go back to edit it then i buff out everything, add more, take away something, add more details that will make a scene pop off more.

now for the encouragement when it comes to flops: it's going to happen. there's no secret to making something do amazing or something failing. there really isn't and someone who says there is has just had a few lucky posts. because having a big following means nothing, writing a long fic, a short one, only using small font, being super aesthetic, really means nothing. i've seen writers with the most amazing aesthetic and beautiful prose with 100 followers write something and get 2k notes and then get 90 notes on their next post. same with someone who doesn't have a big aesthetic but a big following and writes short fics get 100 notes on their last ten posts but then that eleventh post randomly gets 1k. like it's really just up in the air on here if something is going to do good or not, unfortunately. so that's why i don't let it get to me when something i post gets 100 notes or 1k because i'm happy with both, less, or more. i don't expect anything anymore because that only leads to disappointment and i'm here to write and to have fun.

that's not to say i don't rec curating your own little community on here. make friends, block ppl with bad vibes, join discords of supportive friends. talk to writers who encourage and understand your feelings and discourse and who keep you going, give you inspo, etc etc. if only my friends ever rbed and read my stuff and there was only 10 of them? i'd say hell yeah and that'd encourage me to write more. having a good space of friends and community is amazing and can do a lot to fight off the writer scaries and the feelings of obsessing over numbers and success.

now this is just something i do but it always works for me; i post something and then force myself not to look at it for a day or two. i post it and move on to the next thing i want to work on. i do not dwell on how it's doing. i may q up some rbs for it but i don't even look at the notes when i do that. i deliberately never look at it because yes while it matters in the sense that we love encouragement, we love seeing people love something we spent hours on, we wrote this for ourselves but hello we want that validation too and that's okay, but like i said above and i'm going to say again notes mean nothing in regards to talent. these notes are not simon cowell judging you on your performance. so when i finally do go back to rb comments and reply to things, or if i just want to look at how it did, and the number is low i'm just like ok shrug at least those 20 people enjoyed it and that's better than 0. and if no one commented or rbed yeah that sucks and is disheartening but i can either dwell and be sad on it or i can continue to do what i love and write more. why let the annoying little brats on here who refuse to show their love on a work they read get you down? because there's a dozen of them out there and they're not going away. and you may have made someone's day for this little fic even if they didn't say something about it. it does suck that content creators on here don't get the rbs and comments and credit they deserve, and unfortunately if you want to keep doing what you love you gotta work around it and remind yourself why you're creating, continue to feel that joy. it's hard, believe me. but don't let your creativity be repressed because of it, because you'd be doing a disservice to yourself!

i'll say it again though: a high note count / following doesn't mean the fic is good or bad, neither does low notes / no following. no one's talent is ever in question here. we are here to write, have fun, fill the void of the rl scaries.

[ladyculebras]

hello! i'm a big fan of your fics, and was wondering if you had any particular inspirations for you dexter/harrison fics, specifically 'carnivore incarnate'. it's so fascinating! also, forever hoping you'll write more for this fandom ❣

anon, this is incredibly flattering, and I really hope you're still around to read this response. I'm sorry it took me a while. I wanted to really be...comprehensive in my thoughts and this ended up pretty rambly. In some ways, this is an excuse for me to write about my process for my very rare pair, which is self-indulgent, but I hope it'll be of interest to some people at least.

Stoker and Raw are, in general, two inspirations for me that I keep in mind while writing Dexter/Harrison fic. Stoker, because the way I write Harrison, it's always a coming of age story vis-a-vis serial killing. For carnivore incarnate, I specifically drew on Raw for some of the visuals and violence. Both of those films are coming of age stories with incestous vibes and murder, and that's the vibe I want for my fic.

As far as carnivore incarnate goes, well, there's the quote the title is from, which is the Angela Carter's The Bloody Chamber, a short story collection; the quote is specifically from The Company of Wolves in it; but I wasn't really drawing on the short story in particular, I just like the quote a lot and I kept hearing it in my head while writing it.

In terms of the vampire mythology, I made it up xD There's absolutely shades of Being Human UK (blood drinking as addiction, daywalking vampires) and The Lost Boys (half-vampirism) and even a bit of The Coldest Girl in Coldtown (not-fully transitioned vampires drinking vampire blood), but I constructed the mythology based on what I needed to make the story work. I needed Dexter to walk in daylight, or else he doesn't work as a Miami blood-spatter analysis, so I decided daylight doesn't have an effect, or it has minimal effect. I needed Dexter to age, so he looks Dad-aged to Harrison, not like Season 1 era Dexter, so I decided blood keeps him young and if he doesn't drink, he'll age at a normal rate. I needed Harrison to be in some half-vampire state where he knows he is not Normal but plausibly think his issues are all psychological, and not that he's a vampire, so I decided he doesn't get his fangs until he makes a kill.

I am writing more for this fandom! The problem is, all my ideas are huge, so it takes forever for me to finish something, and I also get distracted by other projects, because I get easily frustrated if I spend too long on one thing. I sort of can't talk about what I'm currently writing, because it's for an exchange (hopefully) and I need to stay anonymous until I post it, but it should hopefully be done...in a month? I think it needs a month's more of work. I have multiple Dexter/Harrison ideas that I've already started, and I'm writing one Harrison/Brian idea that's about...30k at the moment, but again, slowest writer alive.

I am also really deeply inspired by music; I can write without it, but it always helps. If i'm a low mood, music can help pick me up and put me in a better mood for writing. Certain songs evoke the right feelings or emotions for a scene, or a character, or a specific event, and help me with the imagery or mood. This is the most self-indulgent thing but I make a playlist for most things I write. I don't have a specific carnivore incarnate playlist, but I do have a Dexter/Harrison playlist I made for you gave me my very first gun that I've just been adding to it as I write and turned into a catch-all Dexter/Harrison mix:

you gave me my very first gun

I also have these two other writing mixes that I use for writing Dexter/Harrison, or other Dexter-related or Dexter adjacent content:

monsters are always hungry

no blood for you will ever be enough

I've been listening to that third one a lot while writing. There's a lot of overlap between mixes, and I guess if I had to pick 5 songs that inspire my Dexter/Harrison feelings for writing, I'd go with

patron saint hunter - timber timbre

evil - interpol

alligator blood - nicole dollanganger

glycerine - bush

you want it darker - leonard cohen (thank you, bones and all, for bringing this to my attention)

Thank you for asking! I'm glad you're enjoying the fics. There's such a small audience for this, so I really treasure any level of engagement I get <3

[creativenicocorner]

2023 Writing Retrospective

That time of, hehe, New Year again folks, to contemplate over the rollercoaster event that was my writing journey of 2023!

I'm surprised by how much I did end up writing more than anything! And how some projects bloomed larger than I would have previously imagined. I'd like to think I've improved as well, which is inevitable made by practicing of course. I'm happier with how I write, despite knowing it isn't perfect (then again nothing is lol)

Trying the NaNoWriMo for the first time really changed things up in my approach I think, I'd like to try giving myself more of a disciplined approach to writing a little every day, even if it's one word...but I also realized just how tired I felt after November...so a soft middle ground will probably have to be found. I might try to use the website for other projects and set the deadline for far longer than just a month...we'll see!

I am happy that I'm not as disappointed with my own writing as I was with it last year...perhaps that too is a part of my growth as a writer. Could I have written more? Sure, but I've been far more wary of pushing myself and getting burned out last year. I need to remember to pace myself, to be kind, and that sometimes writing is just loafing about and doing other things and projects - and then the next thing you know WHAM 200 words pop in your head!

Anyways let's look at those cold hard numbers!!

2023 Total number of..

User Subscriptions: 17 Kudos: 341 Comment Threads: 61 Bookmarks: 81 Subscriptions: 70 Word Count: 107,804 Hits: 5,054

Top five hits/fics of 2023:

Glow Worms or rather: In the Depths of the Safflower Hills

Cold Green Tea and Colder Feet

Refrigerator Problem

Hand Rolled

Chapped Lips

2024 Goals

Honestly? To keep trying to make each new chapter / fic seem a little better than the last. Keep the progress going, while still remembering to be patient with myself (I'm not very patient with myself ^^;; )

I know I mention this often, but I'd like to attempt writing a multi-chaptered fic in its entirety before posting chapters...just once! Just to see what it is like. We'll see, we'll see... I'm not like in a hurry haha

I'd like to try and finish some of my Discworld Multi-chaptered fics...perhaps I'll use one of them in this theory, just to test it out. I'd love to get a new The Runaway's Gamble chapter out (or finish the fic this year, but I'm being soft with my goals this year) as well as get another Trial Runs and Errors chapter out (perhaps even finish the fic to start working on the next one in the Maurice and Lipwig series of shenanigans and adventures)

We'll see where my attention and heart takes me, cause it'd also be nice to get Glow Worms and Refrigerator Problem done

And yet I have so many other projects I'd like to jump into, like a Serizawa-centric serirei fic, or to finish Chapped Lips

I mean I know there's no rule in having to finish something before starting something else...technically I AM kind of working on them despite not posting anything...perhaps this is a way I could give that "finish the whole fic before posting it" a shot, or at least an attempt haha

I hope my quality continues to improve - but most of all I hope things become a little better.

If 2023 has taught me one thing, it's: let myself be surprised. And you know? I'd like to keep that energy moving forward into 2024

Thank you for reading this far!

I hope 2024 is kinder to us all than the last year, and we all grow and getting a little closer to our goals and dreams and happiness. Who knows where we'll be this time next year, hopefully it'll be a little better than today.

Anywho, stay awesome out there - don't forget to be kind to yourself and others.

And be safe

Best wishes!

[mintedwitcher]

on the subject of AO3 comments actually, I didn't want to put this in the tags of that last post but like. not a fucking day goes by now that I don't think about this one particular comment somebody left on one of my merthur fics from like, two years ago.

it was for Judge Not in My Absence, and in it, I BRIEFLY mention that Gwen - in this au version of events - chose not to marry Arthur and instead became a midwife (I used the wrong term in the fic but tbh I am too lazy to go back and change it, though I probably will at some point; I referred to her as a wetnurse) for the women in the lower town. I needed her to have a childcare related job for a spin off I was planning at the same time in the same au. Nothing disparaging was said about Gwen (love her) or about midwives or anything.

this one commenter came in, and said "I really think you should look up the history of black women and wetnurses, it's not pretty."

I think about that comment every day.

yes, I am aware of the history, but I didn't pick that career for Gwen because of her ethnicity. I picked it because I needed her to be in relation to childcare for a reason. not just casual proximity to a child, but in childcare, involved in it, emotionally invested in it. could I have done a better job at explaining that? yes, definitely. could I have picked a better career for Gwen? probably, I'm not sure. I could've had her pick up work as a seamstress as she did in canon, or take over her father's forge as a blacksmith, I suppose, but neither of those would've given the same incentive to the spin off I wrote for her path. so yes, I went with midwifery. it just made the most sense to me at the time.

that comment, though, has stuck with me for two years. I didn't delete it because, well, it was a fair concern, shared without malice or insult, and there was nothing really to be angry about. I understand why the comment was left in the first place. and I still think about it daily.

the point I'm trying to make here, and doing a horrible job of, is that the stuff you leave in comments has an impact on the writers who receive those comments. it may not be the impact that you intended when you made the comment. I don't know what that particular commenter intended when they made the comment on my fic, but it has stuck with me for two years, and it has undoubtedly made me more conscious of the choices I make in my writing. because I don't want to receive that kind of comment again, but I know that I probably will. I'm not so arrogant to assume that I'll never write anything off-kilter or inconsiderate or insensitive ever again, despite my best intentions.

you can't please everyone, as a writer, and you shouldn't strive to. that's how you end up with tropey, incoherent writing projects. all you can do is write what you want, write what you would be happy to read, and hope that like-minded readers find it enjoyable too.

as a commenter, though. know that your words have an impact, for good or ill, and its up to you to decide what kind of impact you want to make. a negative or cruel comment at just the wrong time can be the thing that makes a writer quit writing. a positive, uplifting, or even constructively critical comment (like the one I've been thinking about) can be the thing that encourages a writer to keep going, because at least they know that someone has enjoyed what they've written.

tldr; don't be an ass when you leave comments, you never know what kind of impact it'll have.