#It’s even taxing when I DONT write the response

[helluvaandhazbinarelife]

Feeling like everyone’s mental health is quickly deteriorating and I am trying desperately with my goddam twig arms to push the rock of their collective mental states up the hill of life

[deedala]

🍃w e e k l y t a g w e d n e s d a y🍃

thank you to @energievie for writing the game this week and thanks for tagging me!! also thanks for tagging me for this and also for the pinterest game which im putting down below @lingy910y @gallapiech @suzy-queued @creepkinginc @thepupperino @blue-disco-lights @crossmydna @jrooc @heymacy @wehangout @mybrainismelted @xninetiestrendx @heymrspatel XOXOXO all of you 💖💖💖

Name: deanna

Age: noel-aged

Location: ooohiooo

And now...

What is your DJ name? i dunno, when i worked in college radio it was something about a fish... okay wait yes, lets go with DJ Fishy 🙃

If you were a genre of music, what would it be? whatever chappell roan's the rise and fall of a midwest princess is

What would you title your biography? Wellp

What are the first three things you'd do if you were invisible? i like this idea of sneaking onto expensive modes of transportation. i would do that assuming i had no where else to be and no responsibilities to see to 😆 and i would also rob rich people... and maybe i would go for walks int he middle of the night by myself and feel safe lol

What subject do you wish was taught in every school?  all the important money and personal finance basics that they used to teach but then stopped because it made it easier to prey on adults who didnt know how to manage their credit and debt or do their taxes correctly 😜

When was the last time you tried something for the first time and what was it?  uuhhh...the only thing i can think of right now is a lavender flavored matcha drink that was recommended a few months ago? ive gotten it again a few times (including today!) and its very good. im so happy i know what lavender tastes like now 😆

What is the most underrated city you have ever visited?  this is very hard...i dont even really know how to know how most cities are rated anyway?? i feel like all the cities ive been to and loved are pretty universally rated highly lol. uhhhhh...i dunno.. Heidelberg, Germany? Luxembourg City? one of those.

What day in your life would you like to relive? uuhh i dunno, im going with wedding day because i barely remember any of it, it was such a blur. i would be less responsible and have more fun 😅

If you could eliminate one thing from your daily routine, what would it be and why?  i really love sleeping and going to bed and falling asleep. but i hate waking up and i hate losing the time to unconsciousness. so if i could stay alive and not be tired and never sleep that would be so cool.

How long would you last in a zombie apocalypse?  i like to think i could last pretty long because i am a huge wimp and have great Nope It's Time To Go instincts. Also im good at climbing.

What would be the most surprising scientific discovery imaginable? uuhhh backwards time travel

If you could have any view out your office window, what would you choose? puget sound with the olympic mountain range in the distance

☀️pinterest tag game☀️

i was tagged to do this pinterest game where you search Fashion, Pantone, Mood, and Food and post the first pin from each of the search results. gotta be honest buddies i dont really use pinterest very often and when i do its for random photo references sooooo...

x x x x

i do not know what is happening with that outfit. that is not really a color i would pick but its fine? the mood is pretty but looks kind of melancholy. that last photo though??? oh my god let me climb into there i wanna sit in the cozy rustic kitchen and eat pastries pleaaaaassseeeee!!!!!!

and now to tag in more folks to play either or both of these games!! 💖💖 @michellemisfit @darlingian @too-schoolforcool @the-rat-wins @lee-ow @mmmichyyy @iansw0rld @transmickey @burninface @loftec @metalheadmickey @gallawitchxx @gardenerian @vintagelacerosette @palepinkgoat @sam-loves-seb @samantitheos @sleepyfacetoughguy @sickness-health-all-that-shit @sleepyheadgallavich @rereadanon @mikhailoisbaby @mickeysgaymom @themarchg1rl @callivich @softmick @captainjowl @howlinchickhowl @spookygingerr @spoonfulstar @steorie @whatwouldmickeydo @burninface

[theuniverseawakens347]

as my responsibility you don’t owe nothing to me - I already had it so I never forced an ask from you .., except on the most basic giving things - a generous parent turned control freak turned narcissistic- shut just be my own best friend… bc literally WTF is the point

The state of union made their own Scientology sector or it is Scientology … Illuminati and free masons … it’s funny there’s a Masonic lodge my the lib…

library closed today … someone wants to get me there but like why Lee n Howard … I hate holidays and I’ve told you my adoption this… the way you celebrate in pointless … the history is weird tarnished not real … thanksgiving … Christmas …. You WANA flaunt food n make fun of someone else’s cooking and force ppl to go around and say they’re thankful for you lee - Howard’s speeches every yr every big dinner … you clearer DONT WANA be here - no happiness dry as fuck … but like when it comes to me you always spruce it up w the extras “ my beautiful daughter wise gorgeous creative etc” … the bare minimum of why ur thankful for me when you don’t even hang out with me but you rape my banking … ur welcome. And then I gotta be forced to say you guys but I always say my life …. And Christmas oh my favorite cashay writes a list 11-14 of what I want you get the cheapest and most useless things … - Howard and I both “ we rather get useful gifts” we already know you don’t care about us… I think you got lack of situational awareness mental issues …. Howard you say I shoot myself in the foot from you helping me …. If me telling the truth prevents you both OR ANYONE from wanting to help me U NEVER WANTED TO LEGITIMATELY HELP - UR EGO protecting you from someone actually REALLY SEEING YOU IN FULL - U DONT HAVE GOOD FRIENDS WHO CODDLE UR MISTAKES ( kindness) … SHES been thru a lot …. It the ones who walked for good reason … and told you about yourself are the friends you SHUD HAVE LISTENED TO AND STUCK YOU - save you from trouble … but YOU YOUR OWN WORSE ENEMY miss Gemini rising so of course you got 200 + friends you rope into sin or rope you into sin… life is mAGENT of energy .. you get what you reap … I don’t give in 10000 what I have to friends but I give enough to provide what I can for ALL PARTIES WITHOUTNOVER TAXING .. so karma drama darma.. I get back what equates to that amount given in kindness TO MY FACE .. I’m talking add up every friend not one specifically equates to the kindness and love I give myself … so I rather be alone while yal figure out how not to drown more and I swim forward - you got me tripping fergie

6:17 am

[empiresblrmybeloved]

One day left.

So uh, bit of a long read but if your willing, click read more.

Dear Future Z,

How's life been treating you so far? Did our family ever accept us? I hope so, how's the vtubing going, is it going at all? Do you have an OK sleep schedule? How's the drinking coming along, have you sobered up a bit? I hope your doing well by now, are you gonna go to college? What are you planning to study now? How about your freinds? Are.you still in touch with Starshell, Icarus, and Fallen Stars? What about Ray? Or Draven and Sam? How was Halloween? How do you identify now? Did Carlos ever get you that gc2b binder he said he'd get? Did you graduate? Sorry! Alot of questions, but im curious, and excited, oh! I should tell you about myself!

Our family doesn't accept us, but the number 333 has been popping up alot, like it has since we realized we were trans! The number means to take a bold leap forward. I think moving out is gonna be our bold leap! Vtubing, it's starting, streaming to freinds for now, but im excited for the future! I.. it's almost 11pm when I'm writing this, I have no sleep schedule! The drinking is uh. Not the best, I learned from our dad, but I don't drink as much as I did when I was 16! Can't even finish a whole Beast Unleashed can anymore! Getting high asf though. MAN it is weird to DM while high, it's fun though! I think I'm gonna go to college, I wanna study therapy and music production! Right now, I am in touch with all of them! I don't talk with them much now cause of school, but I'm gonna try and chat them up more! Rays gonna be my DM, Draven is in my poly, actually considering from breaking off from him,, I don't know, our feelings have been a mess, sam,, eeeh, we exchange trans tips and witchy tips every so often! I do numerology readings. I've called people out with UNO cards. Halloween!!! Our mom is letting us celebrate, albeit, she's making us go as a hufflepuff, but the fact is, she's letting us celebrate. This is gonna be our first Halloween!!!! Still a trans pansexual! I'm gonna bug Carlos abt the binder tommorow, promise! And I don't know if I will, I got alot of catching up to do..

Listen, if things have gone to shit, and we did something stupid.. I just hope things are better now, but, in gonna hold out hope- my goal is to get 2 months clean, dod we ever reach that goal? I hope so..

I hope your happier now.

Sincerely, Past Z, September 12, 11:01pm.

[And, the response..]

Dear, Everyone...Life isn't doing the best. But I'm trying, that counts for something I'm sure. Our family didn't accept us. It's dangerous here, but we're getting out, we have too. Our sleep schedule, uh. Non existent, sorry about that. I don't drink anymore, I use weed! :> college isnt actually needed! Im becoming a tax preparer and that doesnt need college! Still in touch with icarus and starshell, havent talked to sam in a while, Rays been close, pur Taurtis fictive is going on a date with their sam on the 5th! Draven can rot in fucking hell, bastard. We didn't do Halloween, we do have a binder though! Gc2b and it's RAINBOW! And– we fucking did it. We graduated. I didn't think we would. None of us did..Our family hasnt changed, but weve been seeing 333, 222, and 555 arpund alot. Positive changes. I hope I'm making the right decision moving out, its scary... we had to stop tubing cause our pc fucking DIED its almost tomorrow when writing this and i am wide awake, i still dont have a sleep schedule. I don't drink, I get high, it's good, I've learned to hide it– I haven't DMd since icarus and Jon came over last year, but yeah, existing while being high is nice. Helps, alot. Veil is with Ray, and Creed is poly with Ray and icarus! We ditched Draven. He was a red flag. Havent dont numerology in a while.. she LIED. She didn't let us celebrate she keeps lying it's horrible. Still a trans pansexual though!...I haven't reached two months, but I did reach a month clean. We were almost two months! Had a week left but, our brother starting saying stupid shit....We don't like this house. They claim their Cristian and forget about love thy neighbor, they'd choose the bear but they don't know that the body's brother is the man we all want to avoid. We dont want to be here any longer. Dad's getting mad because we've been counting down the days till we're 18, moms encouraging us to eat less. Our brother. I don't want to talk about him. It got worse. He did it.... I'll get better once I'm out, I'm sure of it.Sincerely, Future Xander.

[inner-community]

i feel like... i have been dissociating so much more recently x_x which sucks because i was doing really really good - feeling like even without my meds and stopping therapy and doing more of my self-motivated work (art) i was doing really good and staying present...

i think it might in part be that we're still trying to get balance in zone out/fun/games mode when we're home but i am really feeling like it's just coming from avoidance (really stressed about multiple things that will require Many Steps to start. ik i should write down the steps but rn just having to DO multiple steps on smth feels impossible. and money is so sosososososososo stressful. i hate you tax season i hope all taxes are cancelled forever x_x i think the self employment tax should only kick in if you're making like. over 20k. haha.)

but yeah i really WANT to be doing aspirational things, i am doing better getting art done again after a while of not being able to do any... i just i just feel responsible for too much. and it seems unfair to make my wife take on more but i think that would be the best thing. im just stressed.

and i hate hate hate hate that i have to work on driving again because i have to - call the place i need to take my test at. study for and then do that test. talk to the dmv about my permit being suspended for my medicines i don't take anymore (they were making me get papers signed by my psych to say i can drive on them). THEN i can finally do the real driving class to get my license. i fucking wish i could scream and kick and throw a fit at the first lady who i did a driving test at the dmv with she was so mean. she claimed i was speeding when i was WATCHING MY SPEEDOMETER SAY I WAS GOING UNDER THE LIMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and i just want to be able to drive so we can do all 100000 things that i specifically need to be able to drive for. (like my wife cant get a job if i cant drive her there. we cant move if i cant drive us and our things. i cant go to school this summer if i cant drive. it is fucking killing me and driving me MAD. its so much pressure that i think it makes me want to do nothing at all. because it feels like theres no tangible way to do all these things. AGH)

so i guess i just need to call the fucking place while im walking to work today. because also i feel so sososososososososo embarrassed talking on the phone at home. i dont want to be heard.

[megashadowdragon]

Trump Gets CORPORATE DEATH PENALTY, Democrat Judge DISSOLVES Company WITH NO TRIAL In SHOCKING Move

youtube comments

This is fascist levels of corruption. If they can do this to him, they can do it to you.

Judge: "Trump overvalued his properties!" Also judge: (undervaluing his properties by 8300%).

This judge needs to get his legal licenses pulled, and quick. This is straight fucking absurd. This is on the level of the New Mexico Governor banning guns.

A New York Judge has no business even talking about, let alone, using florida property to determine an issue in New York. That alone is wrong... (

Monday- Trump is up by 10 points on Biden Tuesday- Trumps property de-valued and all companies dissolved Totally not coordinated..

From the people who scream that Trump is a Fascist: We don't need a trial where you can defend yourself, we have declared you are guilty. That you happen to be our main political rival is purely coincidental.

yeah trump never did anything like this he never persecuted any political rivals on bogus accusations like they are trying to do to him with the jan 6 hearings or the attempts to paint him contesting the election as defrauding people

or acting like calling for a peaceful protest is somehow inciting violence when its not trump is not responsible for what happened on jan 6 and he told them to leave.

while they actively incite violence and provide comfort to those antifa/blm terrorists like helping them get out of jail

or talking about how there should be more uprisings/if they dont get the verdict they want use violence etc

The fact they are attacking this man with everything they can throw at him makes me want to vote for him even more in 2024. The swamp needs to be drained, they aren't even hiding their corruption anymore, it's all out in the open for the world to see.

The judge can't deny a trail the defendant has the legal right to present there testimony and documents. This judge needs to be fired from the bench this is corruption.

This is amazing what they have done. If you look up the Mar-A-Largo property on Zillow, the history is completely gone. They replaced the history with a starting value of 8.2M in Feb 2020 with a straight line to 24M today, no up or down, just a steady incline. Moreover, they have the buy price in 1995 at 12M. This is incredible. The amount of corruption in this country by the Democrats is just plain scary as all hell.

The outrageous but funny thing to me is, a new York judge crushed trumps billion dollar business based on what some $40k/year barely qualified government assessor employee said mar-a-lago is worth after 20 minutes of research between coffee breaks.. Assessed value does not mean market value.

Kyle is a horrible human being. Panic mode is in full affect. They won't stop even if Trump is out of the picture.

Why aren't Republican prosecutors not bringing charges against these insane activist judges who are clearly abusing their power, or trying to?

I have built houses for years. You can't just write down your own sq. footage, it has to be apraised by county or city aproved officials only. The only person that can do that is an appraiser that does that paperwork, and turns it in at the county/city level. It is divided up the way it is by city officials, housing and businesses are so over regulated there is now way for him to pull this off without being found out immediately. It would flag the system and would be found out. The way it is now is probably the only legal way of having a "club" legally, to not let the general public in. The judge has no power to appraise anything, has no idea what hes talking about, and would only need to send city officials down there to get the answers he wants. This is targeted government courruption at its finest. They create the insane regulations/Law we all have to follow, Trump uses the law as citizens and the rich do They just know the best way of handling businesses withing regulations and taxes. Otherwise they would pay more than whats even made annually each time.Show less

Why is NY allowed to even go through with this case when none of the lenders are even claiming that they were defrauded? How do they have the standing to do that? They aren't even a victim of the supposed "crime".

My sister just sold her house for $160.000.00 thousand dollars, the county assessor appraised it at $90.000.00 thousand dollars. Trump should take this to a high court, that people cannot allow this kind of abuse in our court system.

They are extremely desperate. My anger is towards my fellow citizens that are blissfully ignorant of the extreme corruption

I first found out about this situation via these twitter posts

the property is worth alot on top even besides the business parts

a nearby home that is 10xsmaller is worth 100 million

and found a timcast tweet above that relates to it after I found out about the vid

I found out about the case via this tweet

Democrats Go FULL COMMUNIST, Kyle Kulinski CELEBRATES Rule BY DECREE Against Political Rivals

Trump SLAMS Rogue Judge WHO LIED About Mar-A-Lago To Justify DISSOLVING Trump Org As Trial BEGINS

[accardi1921]

Lets clear up a few things that many Americans dont even know about their own Constitution, let alone those who aren't Americans. The US Constitution states nothing about felons not being able to be the president! You must be born in the US & 35 years of age. Now, if Congress,who writes the laws & decides what to pass by voting into law, must pass by 2/3 vote. It's called an amendment to the Constitution. In America, you are innocent until proven guilty. It falls on the prosecution to prove that guilt. The indictment never stated what Trumps crime is. An indictment must be specific as to the crime,this was not done & is the 1st violation of Trumps Constitutional rights. The second violation of Trumps Constitutional rights is that the prosecution failed to state what the crime is in his opening statements. Conflict of interest! This judge gives corruption a whole new definition. He should have refused to be the judge as he's donated to Biden(which is his choice)& his daughter Lauren is a huge fund raiser for demorats like "shitty Schiff" as we call him here in California because he's done nothing for my state but destroy it. Since Beijing Biden has been in office, my gas is over $5 a gallon, and my food bill is easily $125/150 more & that's just the basics! And I can't forget the border and the 7+ million here illegally that aren't vetted for criminal activity such as murder,rape,drugs,human trafficking etc. I believe when dementia Joe is voted out,my country will be better off. He's been on the government dole for almost 50 years, and like many politicians, regardless of party,has done nada! Biden is responsible for taxing our Social Security, which is our retirement money, not the governments. Prior to him pushing the bill through Congress,it wasn't! Biden is a TRAITOROUS POS! Classified documents were found at 3 of his homes, which dated back to when he was a Senetor & VP. The Constitution clearly states that only the president has that privilege. No indictment for him or Killary who paid for the Russian dossier & destroyed 33,000 E-mails,kept an unsecured server in her home as well & no indictment from the DOJ which is weaponized against the American people. Trying to put ones political opponent in prison as the Communist, Fascist, and Marxists have is not American!!! As the granddaughter of Irish & Italian immigrants,this would disgust them to see this happening here. I will do all I can to prevent it.

[verytendou]

How on earth is this supposed to be under 600 words

[shurisneakers]

harmless (i)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader)

Warnings: cursing, nonsense writing

Word count: 1.5k 

A/N: listen i just needed something to keep my mind busy and a perry the platypus!bucky and dr. doofenshmirtz!reader was the only thing i could think of. dont have any high expectations from this series, you will be sorely disappointed.

If you have any ideas for this series, lemme know!! it’d be cute to write!!

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Series Masterlist

Bucky Barnes, for all intents and purposes, is edgy. 

His SHIELD salary is definitely enough to afford him a simple beanie, gloves even if he’s that eager. His long hair, though a spectacle in itself, isn’t as good at keeping away the cold as he claims it to be. 

It’s a personal choice, a fashion statement even, to be roaming the streets in a long flimsy t-shirt that does nothing to accentuate his broad shoulders, and tactical pants that look a little too comfortable. 

It’s cold. He says he likes it, to appease his blond haired best friend who insisted that he wear a cardigan at least. He won’t like it in a while, but he would never admit it.

The bike ride to the other side of town for a minor mission takes longer than he expected. The wind rushing by gets his adrenaline racing. 

Official missions are long and gruelling, and oftentimes not fun. But it gives him a purpose.

It’s easy, therefore, to find him brooding when he’s not on one. 

No one wants their room to be on the receiving end of Bucky’s stress-cleaning sessions. His baking is more appreciated.

So when there’s news of a small time villain creating havoc again, it made sense that he volunteered to go sort it out. No one else wanted the job. They’d all been at it before. 

SHIELD didn’t seem particularly bothered either. 

“It’s not that serious, Barnes.”

“I’m going.”

“Just stop her from doing whatever dumb plan she has today. She seems to have a new one every week.”

“Can I-”

“This is not an assassination mission.”

“Fine. Can I-”

“No.”

“Fine.”

He didn’t know what to expect. He had an idea of how they should be. Smaller villains tended to be more aggressive, vicious to prove their point. They were here to stay.

He wears his regular gear. Enough knives to make a butcher look away in shame, and guns including, but not limited to, his biceps.

He finally pulls the bike to a stop a few metres away, leaving it out of reach in case things got too out of hand. He didn’t want to have to walk back to the Tower, and his friends, as much as they loved him, would never go out of their way to pick him up. Little shits. 

The address is a dingy, plain concrete house near an old construction site. It was flat and felt more like an afterthought than an actual building. It looked more like an abandoned Walmart than an actual villain lair. 

The only entrance is the door in the front. He counts to three, lifting his leg to kick it down.

It falls down ungracefully, loud and creaky like it was bound to the doorframe by rust. 

The only light source inside is a green light. All the way at the other end on an elevated platform is a desk and a chair facing away from him. He can’t see much other than that.

Someone’s laughter comes back loud and booming. He raises his gun, feet apart in a defensive stance. 

“I’ve been expecti-” the voice pauses mid-sentence- “Did you just kick down my door?”

He looks behind him to where the wooden piece is on the floor. He certainly did.

He can finally see you as you stand up, green light illuminating your face. You reach over to the side, pressing a few switches. 

He squints when all the lights turn on, pulling the both of you from darkness. 

“Dude!” you cry out, face twisting into what only could be described as a mix of horror and disdain. “What’d you do that for?”

He doesn’t say anything but he doesn’t lower his gun either.

“You’re an Avenger, just fuckin’ pick the lock or something. This is expensive!” 

He only watches as you whine, looking beyond him at your now demolished entrance. You take a few steps closer, jumping down from the elevated platform.

“Insurance isn’t going to cover this.” You drag your palm across your fist before extending it towards him. “Pay up.”

He wasn’t sure if he heard you right.

“What?” he finally asked, voice gruff.

“All you superheroes go around, destroying walls and cars in the name of world peace like you own the damn thing. Not today, bitch boy. Pay up.”

He doesn’t have his wallet with him. He didn’t expect to need it.

“I’m supposed to be stopping you.” 

“You can do that once you pay for my door.” 

You sound resolute, unshaken. A little annoyed. There’s what appears to be a gun in your hand, although it’s unlike any weapon he’s seen before.

“What’s your plan?” Bucky looks at your hand. Your stare follows his. You lift the thing up and he tenses.

“I was going to freeze some jerk but now my plan is to get you cancelled on Twitter.” 

“Why?” his eyebrows knit together in confusion.

“Local superhero destroys property of tax paying citizen for no good reason.”

“I mean-” he shakes his head, discarding what you’re saying, “-why were you going to freeze someone?”

“Because I wanted to. But you’ve ruined the mood now, so that won’t happen.”

He blinks, lowering his weapon when he realises you weren’t making any attempt to move. “What’s your ulterior motive?”

“Nothing! I just wanted to mildly inconvenience that stupid fuck for being such a prick.”

He doesn’t know what to say. 

“Is that the freeze ray?” Bucky asks instead, raising his gun when he realises there’s a very real chance he could end up like his best friend. 

“You got a problem with it?” You hold it up carelessly. 

“I can’t let you use that.”

“That’s all you’re going to do?” you huff, “Is this what you call an intervention? This is so boring.”

“Give me the freeze ray and no one has to get hurt.” 

“No one was going to get hurt in the first place, genius. All this does is slow him down for 5 minutes so he misses the subway.”

There’s nothing technically that evil about what you’re doing. He doesn’t even know how you ended up on SHIELD’s radar. He gets why no one was particularly driven to take this seriously.

“And for fuck’s sake put that gun away. You’re not scaring me.” 

He doesn’t oblige, even though something tugs at him, telling him that you’re speaking the truth. 

“Here, take the stupid thing.” You don’t bother waiting for his response, bending over and sliding the gun towards his feet. “I’ll find another way to get back at that dickhead.”

It hits his boot with a small thud. He looks down. Its design is ridiculously comical, like you ripped it straight out of a kid’s TV show. 

“Next time, bring some drama. Wear a cape or something.” You wave him off. “Now get out of my lair. I need to fix the door.”

“You don’t have another one of these lying around, do you?”

“Why, do your friends want one too?” The glare you give him is dangerous. He doesn’t react to it. “No, it’s limited edition. I don’t build the same thing twice.”

“You have others?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy?” A smile grows on your face, dropping as quickly as it arrives. “SHIELD will tell you if I do. Now leave.”

Bucky looks at the freeze ray in his hand. He supposes his job is done. He was told to stop you, but you didn’t seem to have any inclination to go on with your plan.

“You can ask them if you want, they know about me.” You roll your eyes. “Go ahead, call them.”

He doesn’t want to take a chance. As odd as the situation is, it’s still novel and he isn’t quite sure how to deal with it.

He tucks your weapon under his arm, pressing his phone to his ear.

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?” Maria’s voice is crisp as ever.

“I confiscated a... freeze ray.” He feels ridiculous even saying it. “But I’m going to bring her in to SHIELD headquarter-”

“That won’t be necessary.”

“But we can’t trust-”

“We’ve been keeping tabs on her for a while. She’s more or less harmless. You can take the rest of the night off, Sergeant.”

He cuts the call, not entirely at ease with the smug, expectant look on your face. 

Still, he couldn’t disobey direct orders.

“I’m gonna... go.” He mentions towards the gaping hole in the wall.

“That would be ideal, yes.” You nod, crossing your arm over your chest.

“Okay.” He hesitates, but finally takes a step backwards. He peeks over his shoulder as he leaves, but finds you swivelled away from him again. 

He steps back outside. The cold greets him again like an old friend. The weight of his weapons feels stupidly embarrassing now. 

It’s a long drive back to the Tower. He keeps replaying the entire story in his mind. He’s unsure of whether he made the right call, but no one else really seemed to care. 

He had seen weirder things. It came with the gig.

He leaves it at that.

“How’d it go?” Steve asks him when he walks into the living room.

“T’was fine,” he answers, toying with the stupid device he took from you. Maybe he would test it on Clint. He had been getting annoying lately. Breathing too much in Bucky’s general direction.

A part of him feels guilty for his carelessness towards your building. The other part is just bewildered. 

That night he looks up the cost it takes to replace a door, making a mental note to draw some money from the ATM soon.

Next part

[adhdzagreus]

oh this is just my headcanon, and bi/pan/omnisexual jonny is very good and valid too (tho i don't consider things confirmed via Word of God to be canon per se; i prefer to work with what's in the text)

i have basically two decent reasons for this headcanon (and a few self indulgent ones)

reason one: grossed out by nastya's horniness

okay so we all know jonny is icked by nastya talking about having sex with the aurora, and it's an extremely valid reading to assume this is bc she's his sister, and i fully support that reading! here's the line that sparked all this btw

he doesn't want to be on board the ship when nastya is having sex which can totally be explained by their sibling relationship.

this part where he responds to nastya and the aurora hooking up by flinging his chips down "in disgust" also supports that reading though i would like to point out that none of the other mechanisms seem that concerned by it.

again, he's grossed out by nastya talking about sex. if you want to read that as being more about nastya than the concept of sex as a whole that's fine, but i really enjoy reading him as asexual (will explain more later).

here we see jonny being grossed out by another comment of nastya's but this time it does not involve her and the aurora. and yes it's definitely about consent and him being respectful of sexual boundaries but also he's so not interested and lowkey offended that nastya would suggest that. which leads me to my next point.

reason two: only boundary the doc gave him

lots jumps out to me about this fiction. to me, it's a very interesting insight into jonny's character, but this part in particular warrants a lot of discussion.

first, his unusually laconic reply to callahan's question: "not raping." to me, this reads as very flat, terse even. he's blithe about his other crimes, opening the fiction by commenting that he thinks he killed 36 people but he was drinking at the time, but he's abrupt and offended at the suggestion he's committed this particular crime.

(the trope name for this btw is Rape Is A Special Kind of Evil and it makes sense to me that Mr. Sims would want to avoid any implications that his character has done that)

secondly, callahan wants to know why. jonny has no issues with killing people of all genders and he's done "every crime we have a name for" (which implies he committed tax evasion at some point which is funny) but "nothing sexual."

jonny's response is that he couldn't say why, but he guesses it was carmilla's influence. this line is widely open to interpretation. for example, you wrote that carmilla never convinced him of anything and he's just embarrassed to still have morals. which is excellent. just-an-enby-lemon says that carmilla just gave him a sex ed talk and he agreed. which is also excellent.

i personally think that any attempts to bioprogram him into being opposed to sex crimes got mixed up with his preexisting opinions on sex and made him super neurotic about the whole thing.

this should go without saying but obviously you don't have to be ace and/or sex-repulsed to be opposed to sex crimes. however in the case of jonny, i do think it's interesting that he draws such a hard line there when he has no problems with say, cannibalism or killing annoying children.

and none of the other mechanisms have anything to say on the matter. but pretty much any time sexuality comes up in the mechanisms, jonny is repulsed by it (in the context of nastya) or opposed to it (in the context of morally dubious sexual acts).

my less good reasons

i figure that jonny is the lead writer in and out of universe (somewhat confirmed by gender rebels where the toy soldier says they dont have any of their own songs) and the way he writes romance is very ace to me! it's much more emotional than physical and there's almost no kissing

jonny sims plays a bi ace character in the magnus archives and i enjoy that kind of parallelism

i'm aro and bi and i liked the idea. i think it's a fun twist on the character bc he talks a big game about being the captain and being so charismatic and all that and none of that is really true

he mentions there being women in his backstory on the crew page but the only woman in his backstory song is doc carmilla lmao? he lies

popular fanon has him as neurodivergent and adhd/autistic headcanons pair well with aro and/or ace headcanons. the communities are holding hands. (I am holding my own hand)

my favorite person in the world is ace and adhd and it makes them happy when i write our blorbo that way

TLDR he's got the vibes. he's a lil weird about sex. i love him and the headcanon makes me happy, but go forth and create all manner of jonnys. creature!jonny is not canon either and we still love him!

addendum: i am not opposed to the concept of jonny d'ville having sex. i wrote a whole series exploring his relationship to it. i think my headcanon is something close to gray-asexual sex-indifferent to sex-repulsed.

Absolutely gagged someone would read the line about queer orgies as Jonny being homophobic when I read it as confirmation of him being queer and just an asshole about Nastya’s sexual escapades with bonus sex-repulsed asexual flavor bc deadass every time Nastya brings up sex he’s grossed out and he is so so adamant that he’s not doing anything sexual on Metropolitan

[dandunn]

dont know if im allowed to double-dip and request another but id love to see 12 with lupjig for the mini-fic thing

Booooyoass I'm not gonna turn my nose up at writing jiglup especially when I should be asleep myself

12. Things you said when you thought I was asleep

"Hey dickhead, you awake?"

Lupin isn't sure what compelled him to stay quiet at Jigen's rough growl, or the finger prodding the back of his head. Maybe it had just been a long day, the thought of opening his eyes was more trouble than it was worth, and even focusing on trying to sleep felt taxing.

The man at his side grumbles, and Lupin feels the couch shifting, down then up. Soon he's being covered with fabric that stinks of the dark, heady musk of cigarettes and weary gunman sweat. Maybe a hint of blood, too. Jigen got hit, not as badly as Lupin did, but enough for the iron tang to drape itself over his nose.

His partner's blood - that he had bled for Lupin alone. He sighs softly and snuggles further under the jacket, wanting to pull it closer over his face and breathe it all in. A pity that his arms and shoulders are bandaged and too stiff to move.

"Jesus, you got torn up." Jigen mutters, tucking his jacket tighter over Lupin's body with fussy, irritated movements, even when he's bristling mad at Lupin, he still wants to make sure he's taken care of. "You really get off on worrying me, don't you?"

Lupin smiles to himself, hidden under the collar of the jacket, while rustles and clattering indicate Jigen is clearing up the mess of bandage wrappers and surgical equipment from the long, arduous process of stitching Lupin's shredded body back together. They've done it many times before, and will no doubt do it many times again in the future.

Even so, Lupin can see how much his partner hates doing it. He repairs each laceration and bullet graze with the bedside manner of a drunk orderly wearing sandpaper gloves. He curses and grabs Lupin with unnecessary force and bawls him out for being reckless and stupid.

And Lupin revels in every touch like it's the gentle blessing of a priest on his skin, because Jigen is touching him.

His partner hated being touched, when Lupin first met him. But he could usually tolerate it long enough when either one of them was in danger.

Necessary touch, becoming not-so necessary touch, turning into Jigen nudging Lupin's shoulder out of the blue one day as a 'hey, you did good' (which made Lupin feel like he could hop in the air and land on the moon).

The touches didn't stop after that, like Lupin was scared they would. No, instead one night he awoke from a drunken nap to find Jigen's head on his shoulder, his face lax and vulnerable with sleep.

And Lupin had leaned his head against his partner's head, and they had kept on sleeping. Like they had been doing it for years.

The rustling and clattering stop abruptly, and Lupin is in that curious stage of sleep where sleep can either pull you down or you can wake right up in an instant. He can feel Jigen's eyes on him.

"You're not allowed to run off and die," Jigen says quietly, his voice rough with emotion, "Not after what you did to me."

He sits down in front of the couch with an 'oof', "Who was it that said 'if you save a man's life, you're responsible for him' , Confucius? It's probably bullshit, people will say anything and then attribute it to some culture or other to romanticise its balls off, but whatever."

Lupin can hear him turn his way by the quality of his voice shifting, "You're responsible for me, you hear? And if you die, I'm going to damn well make sure it becomes someone else's problem."

Yeah, that sounds about right, he thinks.

Lupin smiles again, feeling the urge to titter, but sleep starts to pull him down for real this time, encouraged by his partner so close and the rough comfort he brings.

It's a heavy responsibility, but someone has to do it. And Lupin does it gladly.

[billionairesitgirl]

Do you have any tips to help someone who keeps failing? I have been trying for several years now to get started and feeling more and more hopeless every year. I have attended $$$ events, lost weight, moved closer to major cities. Then of course COVID struck and made things worse. Is there something I can do that can help me gain an "in" or are certain things just not meant for some girls.

KEEP TRYING !!!

Yes i screamed it...  but that’s because thats the most important thing in succeeding.

Secondly Congrats on taking the steps and trying..... 

(THIS MIGHT MAKE MAKE YOU NEUROTIC.... If you already are then DO NOT DO THIS)

The following is also important 

1.) Have you asked your self why you keep failing?

Take a pen and paper and spend an entire day by yourself. Think, play things over in your head and Analyze.... This is probably the only time i truly suggested, over analyzing the crap out of your life, decisions, faliures and successes. 

(a) What mistakes, do you keep making? or What mistakes do you think you keep making. 

(b) what makes them mistakes 

(c) Would those actions have worked out better in something else or displayed to someone else 

(d) who and/or what would this action work on

2.) List your obstacles ... Every single one you could think of... 

Make 3 categories

 .....Obstacles you have gone through - What caused it? who caused it? (Regardless of who caused it... You owe some responsibility... so still own up to it... But remember BE KIND to yourself...) 

There is a fine line between being kind to yourself  and completely absolving yourself of any responsibility when owning up to the responsibility of things gone wrong

......Obstacles repeated - How do you NOT repeat this Again?

.......Obstacles Imagined and Obstacles that could still happen (based on different things, character flaws, finances, men’s personalities, race, looks, nature) Get as detailed as needed.  

Man plans and God unplans ... 

However, as humans we have ability to at least create contingencies... try to come up with possible contingency plan and POSSIBLE action on how to still not stand still when one of those obstacles appear... Basically figure out another way to scale through, wiggle through, swim through... whatever way (As long as there is life, health and will... there is a way.... After all people have clawed out of dungeous using only a stick or even their finger nails)

3.)  What have you tried that didnt work? or keeps failing... List it

4.) What ever #3 is that didnt work... What is the alternative that you haven’t tried. 

5.) Clearly you see this as an investment if you have lost weight, moved etc... What is missing in the picture? (I don’t know you, nor have I spent time with you or know your thinking process or views... So this is something even if you dont know what is missing... You have to sit and think... Sleep on it, give it time but remain introspective but be mindful to know when clarity presents itself. 

Being brutally Honest with yourself is the only way to know what is missing and where you are missing. 

Example: I met a gorgeous black girl A few months ago. From the get go, I knew she was hypergamous... The men also knew. But there was something missing and i couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Until we were all talking with the men present. 

She carried herself as a pretty girl, sweet and bubbly... But she made the mistake of trying to emulate the white woman’s countenance... So she could be doted on same as a white woman... I can’t explain this in detail.

But while it is good to emulate things noteworthy in other people... She lost her self and her own personal spark.  As a black woman... She avoided the pitfalls of a stereotypical black woman (quote on quote)... in the process, she mistakenly lost her goddess quality and blended in with the rest.  The men moved on from her. 

My Point is: WHAT IS MISSING... Are your run of the Mill? What is your core

6.) Standard - 

Do you have set standards? expectations of yourself and of the Men and of your surroundings?

Do you keep it? Do you up hold it or do you switch or lower it under pressure? 

Not to give too much information... I refused to live in the poor neighborhood when i moved off college campus. I lived in a condo and lived Smack in the center of the wealthy part of the city. I was not in this lifestyle then... But it was simply my standards... And even though it meant staying on campus longer till i got it... I did that.

Example 2: I have friends who do not care what hole they enter to get entertained (granted you can meet people anywhere)... But I am not the type that goes out very often... So why will i waste my few outings in some frat boys bar or club. So I go to high end places.

Example 3: I met a man who recently sold his company with upwards of $80 Million... I wasn’t told... I was aware of the process and listened to him through the proceess complain about delay in the closing and trying to avoid tax etc

He was deperate to meet me in person. As a matter of fact the day he closed. He flew me to his city (I went cause i was bored).  Long story Short... He is the type of man that got lucky... There isn’t much in terms of comparison... Thinks he knows everything, thinks himself black people’s savior and makes comments such as “If there were black women like you”...  Has some racists views he doesn’t think is racists... I met his friends... I liked one (But he just recently got remarried and was the smartest of the bunch). They had pissing games who had thr most rolex collection etc... He was crazy about me... Still is even without so much as a kiss and i spent a weekend there. (Had my own hotel room)

But, I knew while the money was there, he was generous and was crazy about me... It would drive me nuts being with him and interacting with his friends... My standard here is that I won’t deal with any man who so much as stresses me mentally especially as I am a black woman... I won’t take nonsense.

My Point is : What do you compromise on that you do? It is a long road being steadfast to your standard... But it has been worth it for me.

Do not use anyone’s standard... Create your own and work on keeping it... Men will despise you for it... But respect you all the same.... It is a weird placed to be.

7.) What type of events do you attend. When you attend events, go out etc... What do you do? How do you approach these events? Do you wing it? Do you plan it?  Are you fearless and confident or shy or just pleasant enough to exchange pleasantries alone? What vibe do you give off? 

How do you dress? Different styles can come across different ways... Some ooze Sexy, some ooze elegance with a hint of sexy, some basic, some regular, some say just another event person

8.) Closer to Major cities : what part of that do you live? Even if you are not in the center of things... Where do you go when you go out? How often to do go to wealthy areas, who do you interact with there? 

There is a plethora of questions who have to ask yourself.

With Covid I have met people (but then, I work for myself and have more freedom to move around and also take mini vacation in other cities) And I already have a network... So, I have a  leg up -  

But, I know girls here and people are also still meeting people.

What is stopping you? What avenues and methods have you tried? Have you thought outside the box? 

Hopeless? No... Wrong direction... As you fail you learn things that dont work so that should make you hopeful. 

Also, I am a big beliver in manifestation and law of attraction. Feeling hopless will only make things more hopless...It will attract more faliure...

Find ways to think more positively, ways to turn negative things into potentially positive things... In this case you do not have to be rational... Imagine everything negative happening has a positive... 

e.g  : A man cancelled on you = It wasn’t meant to be... It might have turned into a terrible situation for you... Thank God or the universe for saving you from whatever it is you arent aware of. 

eg : Covid happening : Time to make more money, invest. Brush yourself up, level up some more, learn new ways to meet this men and become more resilient so you come out fire when, the world isnt tupsy turvy

e.g : Getting older: Perfect, the more sure and certain you become in yourself, the more you actually find out what makes you stand apart, the more you find out who you are and realize that whatever amount a man was going to give you last year, you’ve outgrown it with age, maturity, acheivements etc.

You get the gist.... NEVER FEEL HOPELESS

You can feel sad... But not hopeless... Dust yourself up and try again...

Maybe one day i will take time out to share some of my own short comings and faliures... Cause i think we share the successes much more;  that people think there aren’t mistakes and faliures and short comings... I have had them, and I continue to work and fix them. 

The only thing is after my introspection... and brow beating myself and figuring it out...i don’t like to dwell on the faliures... I put my self to work updating myself. Besides I think sharing more good news brings more good news and vibes... But, there isn’t anyone that can claim to not have had obstacles and faliures.

Finally: My sister beleives everyone has a destiny... But everyone is also capable of changing theirs... 

With regards to your question...  About certain type of girls ...

The Answer is NO...

Some people might find it harder, or lack the resources and know how

But trying, pushing ones self, acquiring knowlegde and doing whatever it takes (of course within reason and comfines of morality ) Is what makes the difference.

As i write... I know women who took their entire savings to go to ST Barts for New Year...  (Would I? NO) But some would... My point is. 

You will go as far as you are capable of seeing yourself go.

So if you want a change in your pattern... You have to break the wheel... Try something new you haven’t tried yet... And a new approach. 

Question for you: “Gain an in?” Into what circle do you want an in? What type of man

#hypergamy, #datingtips #sugardatingtips #sugardatingadvice #levelup #levelupadvice #sugardatingtip #sugardating

[allbrodennis]

pleeeaaase update your older davekat fics, or at least tell us if they’re on hiatus/abandoned :((

it’s great to see new stuff, but when there’re fics that are halfway done/almost done and just need that extra push/barely started but are looking promising, it kind of pushes my hopes down

i understand if it’s taxing and/or you’ve lost interest in fics, but please let us know so we aren’t kept waiting for updates

ok, this kind of comment/request is rude and inappropriate for several reasons

1) i write fics for fun and for free. this aint a job, im not getting paid, therefore i will do what i want to, when i want to, on my own timeline. you are not entitled to my labor in any way whatsoever and i am a human being with a life and other interests, i dont exist to write fics for you. 

2) you dont have to read my incomplete fics! if it bothers you, just dont read them. you are responsible for your own reading experience.

btw comments like this can be really detrimental to an author’s creativity. when someone complains that one of my fics is incomplete or pesters me for an update, it just makes me even less likely to want to finish that fic. im glad you have been enjoying my work but i dont want to receive comments like this.

[rainbowsky]

Final round-up of fan fic asks

I've gotten a few more interesting responses to the fan fic discussion so I'm going to round them all up here. This will be my final post on the topic until/unless there's a dramatic new development, or a particularly notable response I want to highlight. Thanks to everyone who brought their thoughts and experiences to the topic. I hope everyone at least feels heard.

The biggest piece of advice that I would like to offer is for everyone to focus on what they love rather than what they hate. If we all did that, the world would be a better place. Alongside that, I'd like to remind everyone to please support authors whose work you like. It's so important. Give them a kudos, give them a nice comment, recommend their work to others. You never know what kind of grief and harassment they are dealing with to bring you these great stories, and our support means a lot.

This is in reference to previous posts here and here.

Anonymous asked:

With regard to fandom and fan fic issue, my years of experience being part of very large fandoms has led me to believe that big accounts are v important in facilitating and enforcing the general consensus of the whole fandom. Unless there will be big accs who'll remind everyone of being respectful & just not being a dick over other's preferences, nothing will change.

This is also the reason why I think certain solo fandoms have adapted weird and twisted narratives as their general fandom story because no big acc has tried to police them & and say hey pls be rational. Whether we like it or not, in a place where how far voices, ideas, tweets, posts get heard is based on the number of followers you have, big accs will have the power and influence in creating/curating/shifting the narratives.

So, if you want to know why your/our fandom thinks like this in general, look at what big accs are tweeting/posting, look at what ideas & values they follow, look at their preferences or how strongly they react to certain situations. it's taxing and toxic for big accs given the nature of social media these days, but it's also the reality of system, the more followers/audience you have, the more influence you will have.

So to anyone reading this I hope we all practice more restraint and reflection before we post anything. Remember that words, no matter what medium you write it in, will always carry weight.

So true. It is easy - even for myself who spends a fair chunk of time answering people's asks - to forget that people can sometimes be impressionable and what we say can influence people whether that's our intent or not. I get used to thinking of myself as a regular guy just doing my own thing when sometimes my thoughts and words go well beyond where I initially posted them.

I think it's important for us to be careful what we say, and it's equally important to be careful what we take from what other people say. Especially when it comes to big claims. Always get a second, third, fourth opinion and don't be afraid to ask for clarification if something doesn't sit right or sounds confusing.

It's also important to reflect on how our words and actions might affect other people's experience of fandom, and err on the side of 'live and let live' wherever possible. It's great to have our own preferences and to champion them, but we should try to do so in a way that leaves space for other people and perspectives.

The more unique perspectives and the more friendly, open dialog there is, the healthier the community will be as a whole.

There's nothing wrong with encouraging and guiding growth in the particular areas we are interested in, as long as it doesn't step on, oppress or attack those who are peacefully enjoying something different.

Anonymous 2 asked: bjyx fans attacking gdgdbaby for including zsww/lsfy dynamics in an event named bjyx then turning right around and attacking the zsww/lsfy event organizer for excluding bjyx? god, can you hear my facepalm and sigh of resignation and incredulity from over there? im genuinely not surprised that they're trying to drive an entire part of the fandom out by disgusting them (and me) with these immature tactics. i believe what im about to say next will sound quite bait-y and i respect your decision 1/?

should you choose not to post this. but i do know that it is not only me, in fact there are many out there, that is of this opinion. we just dont talk about it on twitter to avoid the potential mess it will bring lol. okay, here goes nothing. (do note that im talking about the majority here, not every single person is like this) so bjyx fans tend to be cishet females whereas zsww/lsfy fans are more diverse in terms of age and gender, and most of them are part of the queer community too 2/?

i would like to clarify that most of these zsww/lsfy fans are not dynamic exclusive (in the sense that they are friendly and interact with all ggdd fans) they just prefer to "identify" themselves as zsww/lsfy fans (on twitter specifically) just to form a distinction from bjyx fans who mostly are dynamic exclusive (as in; they do not consume non-bjyx content, and straightup refuse to interact with non-bjyx fans, often blocking them). as a result, id say that the zsww/lsfy communiy is way more 3/?

mature and respectful (after all, they're mostly queer people talking about a queer ship) whereas many problems in this fandom, such as the homophobia, adamantly insisting on "drawing lines" between dynamics, stem from the bjyx exclusive fans, comprised of cishet females who "may not know better". so, it is of no surprise to me that they're resorting to these immature tactics of calling gg unsavory names, and organizing retaliatory events with controversial topics in an attempt to "purify". 4/4

I trust that you have arrived at that theory through your own experience and observation. I haven't personally spent much time immersed in this stuff so I can't claim to have any real insight or expertise. If you say that's your experience of it, then at the very least that's how you've seen things up to this point.

I just want to say that I think we should always be careful about making assumptions about people's age, gender/gender identity, etc.

There are plenty of good reasons to avoid doing that; because those assumptions could be very wrong, because those assumptions are often laced with ageism, sexism, etc., because those assumptions - even when correct - might not be an accurate basis for the conclusions we draw.

But the primary reason I recommend avoiding those type of assumptions is because anything that enables us to clump a group of people together in our minds like that will tend to make them easier to demonize and dehumanize. They are no longer individuals who are each responsible for their own unique perspectives, they are now 'the X group' who is known for 'A B C series of easily attackable ideas or behaviors'.

If we attribute undesirable traits and behaviors to a group of people we feel opposed to in some way, that makes us feel more righteous and justified in behaving unfairly toward them, dismissing their humanity and warring with them. It's just risky behavior to engage in, even when it's well-intentioned.

There might actually be some truth to what you're saying. It could very well be that most of these people are young, inexperienced, heteronormative, etc. but if that's the case then we should try to use those traits to better understand and empathize rather than to better dismiss and discredit.

Just my two cents on that.

It can be really frustrating dealing with what feels like other people attacking us, trying to oppress us, etc. - especially when there are more of them than there are of us. In my experience the best solutions to that sort of problem are generally the ones that focus on what we are doing and want to do rather than what they are doing that we don't want them to do.

As I am always preaching, we can't control what other people say, do or think. The only thing we have any control over is what we say, do and think (and how we respond to what they say, do and think).

I have found in my experience that the moment I step out of a conflict mindset and instead step into a problem-solving mindset, everything starts to come together. I feel better, my outlook is more positive, I can begin to see solutions and allies rather than problems and enemies, and most of all, I become more focused on what I am doing than what others are doing.

So I would recommend everyone who is invested in resolving these conflicts focus on that. "How can we best showcase and encourage the types of stories we enjoy?" instead of "How can we stop these other people from doing things we dislike?"

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello again! It’s anon #3 from the fanfic post. I really do appreciate reading your thoughts on various issues like this, so thank you for always taking time to write in depth. As for supporting without going to war, the simplest way has always been to just show appreciation for the creators, hype them up. Kudos are the easiest way on ao3 but comments in addition are great. This goes for all content—art, fics, vids..etc. Creators love to see and read how people react to their content. Sharing is also great, fic recs are very helpful, just be cautious with art and reposting though. Hope this helps a bit!

Thanks so much, Anon. I think this is excellent advice. And it's true that appreciation is great, but helping to expand the audience is also great. Recommending stories, pointing people to the pages/websites of artists we like (as opposed to reposting), sharing our own ideas and approaches, encouraging people to try new things... all of this helps build healthier communities.

And here's another one: WRITE! DRAW! CREATE!

I urge anyone with creative interests or talents to bring their voices to the community because we all can benefit from hearing from you.

Thanks again everyone for sharing your thoughts on this issue. I hope that over time we can all work in positive ways to improve the situation.

I think this subject has been well-covered now so I'm going to retire it for the time being. If anyone still feels they want to discuss it further please feel free to message me privately. Thanks.

[thekidultlife]

The Most Convenient Escape | Jihoon Soulmate!AU (5)

⍟ Pairing: Jihoon x fem!reader

⍟ AU: Fantasy/ Soulmate AU

⍟ Genre: ANGST, SLOW BURN, fluff

⍟ Warnings: mentions of abuse, drinking, and sex

⍟ Word Count: 8.5k

⍟ Synopsis: For all your life, you have a deep disdain towards Soulmate Bonds, so much so that you are able to write opinions about it in a local newspaper. However, as life would have it, you wake up one day bonded to a person you hardly knew. Throwing in an investigation, annoying roommates, and a revolution looming just beneath the surface, you had to seek for the most convenient escape.

⍟ A/N: So on to the next chapter! This is probably the longest I’ve written for this series! Anyway, please excuse my tarot reading skills, my knowledge is only limited to watching pick a car readings in youtube and google. Now that’s out of the way, please enjoy! -Hyeri

⍟ Taglist: @shoshishua, @woozisnoots (I also want to thank @minkwans and @oprandomfeels for leaving such a nice messages on the tags in the previous chapter!! I dont want to sound creepy but i do comeback to them if i needed motivation to write! so thank you!!)

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 |  CHAP 6 |

CILVEKAN ESPIONAGE TURNS PARLIAMENT INTO A BATTLEFIELD by Jeon Wonwoo and Kwon Soonyoung

The Porta Persa Edition, October 12th

Words that break like cannon shots, arguments that burn like incendiaries, bulwarks of statements that are hardly impenetrable—such is a terrifying and impressive sight to behold upon the ancient halls of the Parliament in these last few weeks. The fate of the two Cilvekan agents who were previously caught in Lower Efendel had been a divisive force upon the venerated legislative body of our nation; rendering them into a heated stalemate. 

Armed with wit and sound proofs, Conservatives led by Atlen County Representative Kang Jinho campaigned for stringent travel restrictions, as well as a thorough examination of all Cilvekan nationals entering and leaving Porta Persa. He contends that the security of this powerful nation must not be compromised for simple material gains. 

Pointing an accusing finger at the trading and tourism industry which has seen immense growth in profits due to the inflow of foreign immigrants and visitors into the country, Conservatives have been critical of lax travel regulations over the years in which they view, as in Rep. Kang’s words, as a means for ‘alien entities’ to ‘wreak havoc in this peaceful land’ and ‘further their covert operations to diminish and weaken the stability of Porta Persa’. According to Rep. Kang, it is rightfully so that sacrifices are to be made to ensure that no foreign powers would dare to assert their influence over this country. 

On the other side of the argument lie Santaragossa Assembly Representative Lee Jihoon, the flagship of both Libertarians and Moderates on this matter, who, with his rapid fire responses, have advocated for softer regulations and an extensive counterintelligence program instead. 

In his speech to Congress today, Rep. Lee disputes that economic factors are hardly simple, and should not be diminished into mere ‘increase of gains’. In his words ‘There are people who, if harsher travel restrictions are thus placed, will be left for wild dogs to eat, for the weather to beat and rattle their bones on the cold earth. With no means of a livelihood to provide for themselves, what will become of them? For us who have a roof to sleep in, and food on the table to eat, it is easy for us to say that travel restrictions are a minor inconvenience. Yet for these people, harsher travel restrictions are equivalent to a death sentence.’

He further advocates for a better counterintelligence program wherein proper and stronger defenses are to be implemented only at the appropriate areas, as this is not only cost effective, but also ensures that the livelihood and the human rights of all people in Porta Persa, whether be citizen, immigrant, tourist and whatnots are protected and venerated…

◇

“Lee Jihoon was truly frightening during that session. I swear to god, sitting there feels like he’s attacking me personally.”

Unlike the usual, the three of you were not relaxing comfortably outside the lush courtyards of the Royal Academy, eating carefully prepared lunches and enjoying the view. Instead, late morning sunlight poured from the open windows, illuminating the wooden desk and chair you were sitting on, silently listening to your friends.

To your right, sat said friends: Wonwoo and Soonyoung who were fresh from the printers, the rancid smell of ink sticking to their regal school uniform. On Soonyoung’s hands was the freshly printed draft of your newspaper, which was to be released the next day. 

He folded the newspaper and tossed it beside you on the desk. 

“He’s been like that for what? A week now, I reckon?” 

“Two, in my opinion.” Wonwoo answered, adjusting his glasses. He was the calmer kind of fellow. Soonyoung was more theatrical. 

“Oh good god, it’s been two weeks already?” Soonyoung exclaimed, his lips ajar. “No wonder Y/N is here all the time!”

Wonwoo glanced at you, who simply turned away and faced the open window. “Why are you here exactly?”

You continued to grind Alizarin berries on your portable mortar and pestle with a nonchalant look on your face. “I’m making your allergy medicine.”

“Not yesterday and in the last few weeks,” Wonwoo retorted back, giving you an inquisitive look. “Now tell me, is it because of Lee Jihoon?” 

Groaning, you continued to pour all of your irritation at the poor powdered berries in your mortar. “Must the reason always be Lee Jihoon?”��

“Well, why are you here then?” Soonyoung shrugged, glancing at you with raised brows. 

Exasperated, you sighed and left the mortar and pestle alone for once. In all honesty, the reason was indeed Lee Jihoon. After he saw your breakdown two weeks ago, you were avoiding him at all cost because you knew he was going to ask you about it and you were not one to divulge such sensitive topics. 

Of course, you wouldn’t let them know. “The way my room looks is just nauseating.” 

Soonyoung made an incredulous frown while Wonwoo snorted. 

“Right.” They both said.

Having childhood friends has its own disadvantages: you couldn’t really hide anything from them. Yet you wouldn’t tell them anything for that matter. Your room was indeed nauseating, spinning around and around as your vision blur if you just stay in one position for far too long.The way your stomach churns and your legs buckle because of the amount of suppressants you were taking to block your soulmate connection was something you simply cannot express into words. 

You stare at the red powder inside the mortar. The smell was making you lurch, reminding you of the suppressant, yet you expertly concealed it with a cough and a broad change of subject. 

“Aren’t we supposed to go somewhere today?” you asked, adding more berries to the mortar. 

“No, it’s on Friday, 3pm,” Wonwoo replied, checking his travel sized planner. “For some time, Soonyoung and I have been tracing documents from Luce Trading to see if they could give us some clues. But most of them inexplicably got lost or destroyed from last year’s flooding, but thankfully, Soonyoung found some in a novelty shop.” 

Upon hearing, you quirked a brow at them. “That is quite interesting. It is possible that something important is in those documents, especially when they had deemed it necessary to destroy them. It seems like fortune is on our side today.”

Wonwoo nodded. “Exactly my thoughts.”

“I reckon, those documents can finally settle the question of who their actual victims are,” the other male remarked with a considerate nod. “We can actually take a step forward in this investigation!”

You forced a smile. Truly, you were elated but the way your heart was palpitating wasn't feeling that great to you. Wonwoo adjusted his glasses once more, a habit he has acquired whenever he was thinking of something.

"Quite frankly, I still haven't forgotten what Jihoon had told me a few months ago," he started, fidgeting with his hands. "And god knows if he's telling me the truth or throwing us off the scent." 

"Oh that one..." Soonyoung exclaimed, nodding. You glanced at the two of them, looking betrayed. 

"Why have I no knowledge of this?" You asked, eyes shooting daggers. 

The two boys quickly exchanged glances and panicked.

"You haven't told Y/N?" Wonwoo asked the other male, who was beginning to pout. 

"What…I thought you told Y/N!" He replied, pointing at you. 

What seemed like a little misunderstanding was going to become a lot of bickering later on, so as you rolled your eyes, you put yourself between the two of them. 

"Alright, enough. Just tell me what Lee Jihoon said," you spoke sternly, hands on your hips.

“It’s not as straightforward as you think,” Wonwoo recounted. “Jihoon kept going in circles about our newspaper, Alex Fireflower—”

“Me?” you exclaimed, furrowing your brow.

“Yes, you. And the Gestalt case,” Wonwoo continued, acknowledging you. “At first, I was under the impression that he was simply inquiring what my thoughts were with regards to the Gestalt case as a fellow classmate, yet as it turned out, he appears to be hinting that it was a suicide case.”

A bewildered look was what you gave him, not understanding how a blatantly homicide case could possibly be a suicide. “I need you to expound further than that.”

Your friend shrugged. “That’s where the problem lies. We know that the Gestalts might be involved in the sex trafficking ring due to the judicial records we’ve discovered before, yet to what extent is a matter we have no knowledge of.”

“Oh, yes, that tax evasion case filed against Luce Trading that was suddenly dismissed by court with no apparent reason…it seems malicious, yet I still doubt that it should be considered a connection to the syndicate” Soonyoung remarked. 

“Those things usually happen yet everything involved in this case should be accounted for. Even including the possibility of it being a suicide,” Wonwoo continued. 

“Yet logistically speaking, how can it possibly be a suicide?” You asked, clearly unconvinced. “Lee Jihoon is merely giving us chaff.”

“That is the reason why I cannot just stop thinking about it. It’s perplexing.” 

“You’re just doing mental exercises, Wonwoo,” you dismissed him. “Trusting Lee Jihoon is definitely not advisable. He’s a politician. We might be unaware that he is in fact a part of that syndicate, and is simply playing cat and mouse with us.”

Wonwoo heaved a long sigh, leaning against the bedpost. “That, I won’t deny.”

“Rather than running on conjectures, we should proceed with the investigation instead,” Soonyoung interrupted solemnly. “We simply do not have the entire narrative.”

"I completely agree," you replied, leaning against the table as you go through another wave of stomach cramps with much composure. "Let's…lay out what we know first." 

The two of them nodded at you, which you considered a signal to begin.

"So, we know that some government officials are involved in a sex trafficking scheme. Why do we know that?" 

Soonyoung answered. "Because Wonwoo unintentionally eavesdropped a conversation between his father and a parliament member, who was trying to ask him to vote against the amendment of the Soulmate bond." 

"He offered my father membership to the syndicate among other things…" Wonwoo quietly continued, perusing his thoughts. 

"Right. We know that the Gestalt case is somewhat related to the syndicate. Why?" 

"For one, that parliament member who had attempted to lobby for my father's vote was asking him to vote against the amendment which has stemmed from the Gestalt case. It could possibly be a stretch but we should not deny it." 

Nodding, you continued. "And the fact that we had found out that Rene Gestalt had already died right after the High Court suspension. And had died under a different name and under a mysterious circumstance."

"If Rene Gestalt was a simple nobody, he wouldn’t have died in that manner," Soonyoung added. "And that tax evasion case shouldn't have been dismissed so easily."

"Luce Trading is more profitable than Kwon International, isn't it?" You asked, but Soonyoung immediately replied.

"Hey now! We had better sales for the past decade!" 

You giggled, "Alright, my apologies." 

"I still find it hard to fit the pieces though," Wonwoo interrupted. "Why Luce Trading? Why did Himi Gestalt die but not Rene? What exactly happened?"

The three of you exchanged glances.

"We need more information."

You leaned back, sighing as you felt the heaviness of the possible truth you have in your hands. Wonwoo and Soonyoung were pretty much the same. That’s why, more than anything, you didn’t want any sort of distraction, especially those that involve soulmate bonds.

“In the meantime, Y/N,” Wonwoo began, giving Soonyoung a look and then the two gazed at you with concerned expressions. “Are you truly, definitely, a hundred percent, alright?” 

You knitted your brows, and immediately replied. “I’ve never been better.”

“No…! No, what we meant is…” Soonyoung was the one who responded. “You…you fought with your father, didn’t you?”

It was a sudden inquiry, you can admit that, but you were not at least surprised they had asked. Your father must’ve gone to Soonyoung’s father and then they informed him of the matter. 

“A few weeks ago, yes,” you told them, nonchalant as you added more berries to the mortar. “I have decided to cut ties with him once and for all. He’s nothing to me now.”

You noticed that they were taken aback, but it was an expected reaction. The decision was indeed done in the heat of the moment, yet you didn’t feel anymore remorseful. 

“You do not have to worry about me. I have you two, and our newspaper is doing quite well in sales,” you reassured them. “Cutting him off is simply removing dead weight off my shoulders.”

Without any warning, Soonyoung pulled you to a tight embrace and Wonwoo followed soon after. You simply stayed still in surprise, as they continued to console you silently, knowing that you didn’t need any words to make you feel better. 

“Y/N, please know that we will always be here for you,” Wonwoo began. “We’ve been together since we were children, and we’ll always will be.”

“If you wish to get something off your chest, we are always here to listen. You don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

You grimaced at this, but hid it easily by burying yourself underneath their embrace. You’ll tell them everything someday, but now, you simply wish to brave the storm by yourself.

“I will.”

◇

"Jihoon!"

Heavy footfalls echo across the marbled hallways of the Parliament. Rows of white columns line up on the curve, the view of Porta Persa easily seen with just one turn of a head.

"Jihoon, please wait for a moment!"

Harsh steps that march through with controlled frustration, and another set which was running after them. Nobody was on sight other than two men who were adorned by their heavy purple robes, billowing with the wind.

"Lee Jihoon!" 

"What is it ?!" The other snapped, his eyes piercing and intense.

The Minister of Foreign Affairs sighed, his demeanor tinged with concern. The whole Parliament hearing was tense and unnerving, and Lee Jihoon seemed to be in the middle of the swirling storm. 

"I simply wanted to see if you are doing well," Joshua offered, his voice calm, yet the other simply scoffed.

"What do you suppose?" he replied, his tone filled with frustration and sarcasm. "If we lose next week's vote, it'll be all over!" 

Joshua reached out for Jihoon's shoulder, trying to help the other through his temper. 

"Alright Jihoon, listen to me. We still have time. We can still convince the others to vote against the bill." 

"But we need fifty more votes! Where in heaven's name are we going to find those?" He exclaimed and then groaned, resounding through the deserted hall.

"You need to calm down, Jihoon!" Joshua reminded, shaking some sense into him. "You're making a mountain out of a mole hill!"

The dark haired male blinked, stunned by the sudden loudness of his friend's voice. The high had finally subsided in his veins as he huffed and removed himself from Joshua's grasps. 

"Jihoon…"

"I apologize. I'm simply exhausted," he replied, sighing as he turned his back to the other. "While this issue has been particularly draining, my soulmate bond is eating my energy away as well." 

Joshua blinked, wondering what was the matter this time. They had left Jihoon in his dorm room that day as instructed, yet for some reason after that, he seemed to have become more snappish and gloomy. 

Jihoon sighed once more, probably the nth time for today. 

"She…she was crying when she arrived, you know. I have no inkling as to why but it did hurt me…seeing her like that," he continued, now more to himself than to Joshua. "I wanted to comfort her or do something, anything…but she pushed me away, both physically and mentally. It's been weighing on me since then."

Without a word, Joshua walked towards him and placed an understanding tap on his shoulder. "I wish I can offer you some help."

At this point, Jihoon simply shook his head with a downcast smile. "There is nothing we can do about it if she doesn't want me." 

Those words, as he said it, felt more painful than he had anticipated. Yet that was the truth—she had blocked him, in more ways than one. Jihoon wished he knew why yet he had already spent enough sleepless nights on it that he didn't need more.

"In the meantime, it would be nice if we had those fifty votes before the weekend."

◇

Oct. 14th 

Desmere District, Porta Persa

"So, it's here?" You asked, standing in front of a decrepit shop, flanked by two of your friends. "Are you sure it's here?" 

You weren’t really one to judge but the way the roof shingles were about to fall, the dull green paint peeling off the door, and the dusty shop window filled by various junk accumulated over the years, was telling a rather clear story. 

You could even  hardly read the name of the shop. 

“52nd Oppleton street, Esmond Novelty Shop….Yes, without a doubt this is the one!” Soonyoung replied cheerfully, grinning ear to ear, “Come on now! No time to waste!” 

Wonwoo glanced at you with a knowing look as he followed after Soonyoung through the door. Today seemed to be one of those days where Wonwoo was in a rather irritatingly playful mood. “You heard him. No time to waste now, Y/N.”

It wasn’t new for you to be the victim of their teasing, but you didn’t appreciate it either when it comes. Thus, as you rolled your eyes and pursed your lips, you threw your hesitation out of the window. Following closely behind, you heard the charming bell chime above you as soon as you entered, yet the dust which wafted through the air was not as charming as you had feared.

“Welcome to our shop! Feel free to look around and see if anything suits your fancy!” A male voice greeted you three, though you cannot make out a clear image of him as he seemed to be covered by the centuries old dust. 

“Ah, we’re actually looking for someone…” Soonyoung replied, fishing a piece of parchment inside the pocket of his vest. “Um…a Madame Adora?” 

While the three of you seemed to be unsure, the tall burly man, which you have now seen after the dust has settled, nodded in understanding. 

“Yes, yes. Please follow me. Her shop is at the back,” he replied and turned around, not waiting for you to respond. 

Exchanging curious glances, you followed close behind—carefully studying your surroundings as you did. There were a lot of books for one. Stacks upon stacks of leather tomes piled on top of another which was rather deadly if one wrong move was made. The shopkeeper, seemingly used to this dangerous environment, easily navigated his way through the path provided. 

There were a lot of miscellaneous items as well: old shoes, typewriters, some ornate desks which were long forgotten. Dirty porcelain dolls, dull grey candelabras, and even a baby grand piano covered with various knickknacks—essentially, this was a shop of extras: once loved, tossed away and buried under the sands of time. Their fate seemed to have given you a melancholic mood, yet there is little you can do to change it. 

“Where do you find all of these?” Wonwoo asked, curious as he perused over an old book about outdated potions. 

“There are numerous ways,” the man shrugged, dodging a stray pole which was protruding from a pile of junk. “Sometimes we buy them from people who move houses, sometimes they just give it to us, and some just find their way here.”

His words immediately reminded you of the thought that objects do have souls in them. They used to be someone’s important thing; they were once given meaning and context by the people who used to own them. This place had become their new home now, amidst the sea of other objects that were no different.

A light knock on wood snatched you from your thoughts as you averted your attention back to the matter at hand. The shopkeeper had stopped in front of a slightly ajar door, peeking carefully at the space. 

“Madame, these people wish to speak to you,” he called out, yet he was met by silence and a rather loud creaking of a chair being moved. A grainy “let them in” soon followed, though you were not as sure since it was just above a murmur.

Nodding, the shopkeeper moved and allowed you space to walk inside the room. With rather modest postures, the three of you silently entered in file, easily spotting a worn out loveseat, which was probably a bright emerald in its youth, to sit on. It was a rather small space, enough to be a breakfast room, with second hand furniture and astrology-related objects littered around to give a sense of mystique. 

“Robert, fetch those documents for me please,” the old woman ordered, who you hardly noticed with how she was almost covered by the wooden desk before her. The shopkeeper, who was apparently named Robert hummed and disappeared, closing the door shut. 

As soon as he was gone, you scooted on your seat to take a closer look of the old woman. Just as you had anticipated, Madame Adora was petit, but was made to look larger by her bulky dress adorned by stars and moons embroidered in metallic thread. It had the same fabric as her headpiece which was wrapped around her head like a towel. The one which caught most of your attention however, was the large dangling sun and moon earrings which were as big as her head. You wondered if they were as heavy as they looked. 

“Um…we’re—” Wonwoo began but was instantly halted by the Madame with just one hand. 

“I know what you seek, my dear children,” she began, her voice croaky. Probably from smoking a bit too much; you thought as you noticed the ashtray on her table next to the burning sage. 

The three of you raised your eyebrows, wondering what Madame Adora could’ve meant by her words. She seemed to be the eccentric type, and you wouldn’t be surprised if she busted out tarot cards and a crystal ball any minute. 

“You are on your path to fulfill a great purpose for humanity. It is a fate neither you nor this country can avoid,” she continued, making you glance at Wonwoo and Soonyoung. You wanted to ask them if she was sane, but out of courtesy, you decided to keep your mouth shut. 

“O-Of course…that—that’s what we’re trying to do,” Soonyoung replied awkwardly as he shifted on his seat. “But we do need to—”

“Yet be cautioned. This path does not offer refuge nor solace for the tired and weary. You will be accompanied by danger, deceit and the deep dark evils of this world. You will face adversaries stronger and larger than you had anticipated. Poke the bear, and its claws shall appear. Be strong and always seek for the truth.”

“Uh…yes, of course,” you replied, ending with uncertainty. “So the documents—”

“Ah, yes. Robert will be here soon,” she interrupted yet again. “While we wait, would any of you like a tarot reading?” 

“T-tarot reading?” Soonyoung exclaimed, as he leaned forward, not sure if he had heard it right. 

What a surprise. You simply smiled.

Interrupting your gloating, Soonyoung suddenly nudged you with his elbow, making you look at him. 

“What?” you asked, your voice a whisper. 

“Y-you do it, Y/N!” He replied, his expression not betraying the fact that he was a bit afraid. 

“What? Me? Of course not! Do you suppose I believe in such buffoonery?”

“Now, now. It’s just tarot cards, what harm could it possibly do to you? Attack you with a paper cut?” Soonyoung immediately replied, even though he was the one who got frightened first.

“Soonyoung is right, Y/N,” Wonwoo joined in, though you knew he was trying to gang up on you. “Besides, you wouldn’t be so cruel to deny this poor woman an income, would you?”

You closed your eyes, and breathed in—incredibly irritated by this game Wonwoo was playing today. However, you just didn’t have the energy to pick up a fight with how your stomach was beginning to churn once again; the suppressants returning with a vengeance after the pain relievers had worn off.

“Fine then! I’ll do it,” you seethed through gritted teeth as you stood up and walked towards the old woman. “I’ll do it.”

Now much closer, you saw Madame Adora smile warmly at you, which made you feel a bit guilty for getting angry. Sighing, you turn your gaze down to the wooden desk, unable to look into her eyes. 

“Boys,” the Madame suddenly called in her raspy voice. “Robert is waiting for you in the other room to look at the documents. Your friend will join you shortly.”

At this development, both Wonwoo and Soonyoung glanced at you, asking if it was alright for them to leave you. You smiled at them encouragingly. You’ll be fine. It’s just a tarot reading.

“Please don’t start without me,” you turned to them as they left the room. “I’m looking at you Kwon Soonyoung.”

Your friend simply grinned and gave you a salute. “Aye, aye!”

When the door was finally shut and you were left alone with the old woman, you glanced at her, wondering what was about to happen, or if she was going to do something.

“What’s your name, my dear?” she asked, something you hadn’t expected.

“Uh…I’m Y/N,” you soon replied, fiddling with a stray lock. You tried to deduce what the Madame was thinking, but nothing came to mind. She was eccentric and unpredictable; there was no use trying to predict the next set of events.

“Well then, please take a seat, Y/N,” she offered the armchair beside you which you quickly sat on. “Is this your first time getting a reading?”

“Yes, I…” you tried to evaluate your next words. “I’ve never been to a shop like this before.” 

She simply chuckled at you, pulling out a deck of cards from a drawer. “I understand, dear. We readers are few in number, yet believe it or not, just like magical practitioners, it is necessary for us to have proper licenses.” 

With the new information, you raised your brows and nodded, wondering why you haven’t known of this field before. As you continue to swim in your thoughts, Madame Adora began waving the smoking sage around the area. 

Knowing your curious look, she gave a small smile. “To cleanse the space, my dear. Sometimes we carry residual energy from people, objects or situations. It is necessary to cleanse before we begin the reading, so we can only pick up your own energy.”

Nodding once more, you didn’t really know what she was talking about. You were no magi, and your knowledge of magic was limited to alchemy and potions, which was grounded more into the material world than the metaphysical. 

“Alright then. What kind of reading do you wish to do?” She asked and you only gave her a blank look—completely innocent to the kind of readings a reader could perform. 

Without you needing to say a word, the Madame nodded in understanding and explained it to you. 

“A reading, in its base form, is a medium to provide some clarity. The Universe itself provides the answers. So if there is a question, a situation which you wish to seek clarity on, then we could begin with that.” 

Even before the old woman had finished talking, your head was already turning gears and cogwheels. You wanted to ask about the syndicate and the investigative reporting you were doing, yet for some reason, a niggling feeling inside of you was telling you it wasn’t the right question to ask. 

So you searched for it, concentrating on the feeling that you knew you could trust. However, at the end,  you were surprised to where it had led you. You didn’t want to ask about it. It was done, it was there. It didn’t matter anymore. But you felt it. It was so strong that it made shivers creep under your skin. You know you needed to hear it. 

You sighed. It’s just a tarot reading. No harm done. 

“I…uh…” you gazed downwards, finding your wrist wrapped in ribbon to be quite fascinating; deciding for one last time if this was indeed the decision you were making.

“My…uh, soulmate bond.”

You were not sure if she had heard you with how small your voice sounded, but there was no way you would repeat yourself. The way you finally said those words out loud felt like some sort of acceptance; an acknowledgement that a soulmate bond existed between you and that person. Before, it felt like it was simply a figment of your imagination.

To your surprise, the Madame nodded at you, smiling proudly. “Then it shall be. Let us begin.”

You nodded back, watching as she began to expertly shuffle the cards. 

“I will be doing a simple spread for you. A first card or cards would explain your energy, and then his energy. Afterwards, your strengths and weaknesses, then the state of this connection. Finally, we will be asking for the future of your soulmate connection.”

Unaware of how specific tarot can be, you only stared at her quite agile hands, not fully understanding everything. 

“Please be reminded, dear that energies do change. What is shown here is simply the current energy of the soulmate bond. You and your soulmate still do have the agency to change your future, yet for now, this is what it is.”

You definitely liked the sound of that. If tarot had been in any way fatalistic, you would’ve soured on it in an instant. You always believed that you had some semblance of control over your life, or at least you wanted to. 

Quietly, the Madame began drawing out cards, mostly cards which jumped out while she was shuffling. As she began to neatly arrange the cards into a grid-like form, you watched out for any reaction or expression from her. As it turned out, the most you could get was a slight raise of a brow. 

When it was all done, she flipped the deck over and placed it beside the spread. Peering overing, you saw that there were a lot of cards, some were upright and the others upside down. You wondered what these all meant.

“Well then, my dear,” she spoke to you, glancing all over the spread and then nodded in understanding. “Let us begin with your energy—Eight of Swords, Queen of Swords reversed and the Hermit reversed.”

“Are those good or bad?” you asked, curious, yet the old woman simply tightened her lips.

“What I could say is that, you may seem to be trapped in your situation right now, whatever your situation may be. Look at this woman in the Eight of Swords,” she replied, holding out the card to you. “ She is blindfolded and surrounded by these swords. She seems to be trapped and imprisoned. It could be your thoughts or what you are telling yourself, as swords symbolizes our mind and how we communicate. You could be suffering from self-doubt.”

Taking in her words, you could feel a lump forming in your chest, knowing that she was indeed right. 

“And then we have the Queen of Swords, which is you. When she is upright, she is a force to be reckoned with: intelligent, independent and the speaker of truth, however dear, we have her in reverse, which only shows the shadow side of this energy. The Hermit in reverse is telling me the same thing. My dear, I must apologize, yet this is what I see. As you continue to trap yourself with negative thoughts, you are slowly closing off your heart, becoming coldhearted and bitter, leading you into more loneliness and isolation. Whatever has caused you to become like this was incredibly painful that you have been pushed into fear, creating these defensive walls which then became the swords blindsiding you at this moment.”

You were silent, knowing full well what the old woman was talking about. You wanted to be angry at her for speaking a truth you were trying to avoid all this time, yet there was only sadness in your heart. 

“I’m so sorry dear, but this is what the cards say, but please rest assured that your energy could still change. Considering the strengths of this connection, I have high hopes that this soulmate bond will succeed,” Madame Adora consoled you, seeing the deep hurt in your eyes. 

“It’s fine,” you replied, swallowing the bile forming in your throat. “Please continue.”

Hesitantly, the Madame moved to the two cards beside the first ones she had read. “For your soulmate’s energy: the Two of Pentacles in reverse and the Hierophant.”

“As for now, your soulmate is in an imbalance. Look at how this person is trying to juggle the two pentacles in the card. He could hardly balance them at all. It could possibly be that your soulmate finds it difficult to manage their career and this connection with you, as this is a pentacles card which usually pertains to finances and the material world. Or, it could possibly be that they cannot find the balance between their traditional values and the constantly changing world with the Hierophant. Their views are definitely being challenged by you and your connection. Nevertheless, they seem to have felt your withdrawal and decided to focus on their career instead, which has now become two burdens on their shoulders.”

Making a downcast look, you felt guilty for making him feel that way. If he had indeed felt your pain through the bond, then he was no better than you. He was hurt too and the thought of you unintentionally inflicting pain on someone was something you were not keen on. 

“Now then, let’s  move to the strengths of this connection with the Chariot and Strength cards, which are incredibly powerful cards to have. Even this whole spread is powerful, considering how much Major Arcana you have.”

You leaned your head to the side. “Oh, is…is that so?”

“Yes. The Major Arcana holds more significance than the Minor Arcana, that is why having numerous cards from this suit could mean that this connection could be life changing for the both of you. With that said, having the Chariot and Strength implies that the both of you have a tremendous amount of strength and willpower. You and your soulmate are influential people who will stop at nothing to achieve your goals. That is why, even through all the pain and difficulties this bond will bring, this connection will survive.”

Not knowing what to make of that, you simply nodded. You were unsure if you do want this connection to survive. You hardly know your soulmate and you had no interest in doing so. You had long abandoned the idea that you will find love in a soulmate bond.

“Well now, look here, Y/N. I have been called upon to draw three cards for the weaknesses of this connection. We have the Five of Swords, the Nine of Swords in reverse and the High Priestess in reverse,” she continued, showing you the three cards.

“At this moment, there is conflict and disagreement in this connection. It could possibly be that the both of you have fought and that was the reason for your stagnant energy and his withdrawal, and with the Nine of Swords in reverse, usually this card means your anxieties and fears, and in reverse, it could be a release of those negative energies. However, in this reading, it seems like the both of you are hiding this inner turmoil in your hearts. Look at the image here,” the Madame pointed at the Nine of Swords.

“The woman is crying on her bed at night while these swords loom above her—she is crying alone, only the night is her companion, when everyone else is asleep and oblivious to her pain. In a way, you both are mirroring each other. You try to keep this conflict in your heart, making you feel disenchanted with this connection. You had lost hope of finding this love you seek. They on the other hand, try to bury themselves in their career or material possessions. They want stability and a sense of normalcy, yet cannot find it. The Universe has been providing divine guidance, yet with the High Priestess in reverse, the both of you cannot hear or perceive the signs.”

“This is further clarified with the Hanged Man and the Tower, both in reverse. These two cards represent the state of this connection, which further confirms the stagnation and fear of change in this connection. I felt this in the beginning when I was tapping to your energy, but dear, have you been blocking your soulmate bond?”

For some reason, you could only look at her and speak no words. There was fear in your eyes and guilt in your gut. It felt like you had done something unforgivable. You cast a glare to your arm, unable to utter any words of admittance. 

“Dear, may I see your wrist?” Madame Adora asked softly. You were hesitant at first but eventually gave in, pulling the ribbon that was wrapped around your wrist and placed it on the table. 

Gently, she examined the dull black bars on your skin as you watched curiously. You would ask what she was doing if she hadn’t begun speaking once again. 

“You are in pain, dear. Deep, deep pain you need to heal from. It’s not a fresh wound, but scars inflicted from so long ago yet continuously being pried open over the years. You keep on ignoring, burying these scars, hoping that time would help it heal someday,” she said, her fingers on the marks. 

“Yet when this soulmate bond came, it had forced you to face them even if you have no wish to, even if you were not ready to. This bond is making your fears rise to the surface—the fear of heartbreak and of disappointment. Thus, instead of waiting for someone else to do this to you, you decided to nip it in the bud. You try to convince yourself that you wish to be alone, that you are comfortable alone, yet deep inside you, you long for someone to share the heaviness which weighs down your heart.” 

Without even realizing, you had furrowed your brows and was glaring at the offending soulmate mark on your skin. There was a feeling deep inside you which refuses to accept the old woman's words. It was too painful to acknowledge the yearning that was deeply-rooted in your heart. It was too embarrassing to say that you had made a mistake.

You were simply protecting yourself. Those scars had long healed itself. You had already cut ties with your father and that was the end of the story. There is nothing more to talk about. There was no need to face any more of this. There is no need to reconcile with your soulmate. 

Gritting your teeth, you could sense anger rise deep inside of you. 

“But dear let me reassure you that despite everything, you will come together in the end. For the future of this connection, you have the Two of Cups which signifies a union. It is my soulmate card because as you can see, these two people are sharing, exchanging cups—”

—!!

You slammed your fist on the table abruptly, the cards jumping in disarray. Madame Adora looked at you sadly as you snatched your wrist away, holding it close to your chest. Your eyes were burning with rage, yet the old woman knew that that anger was rooted from deep longing and sadness.

“I don’t want it,” you muttered in a low voice, and then, after a short pause, began shouting as if it would relieve the guilt in your chest. “I don’t want it! I don’t want this! Could you please leave me alone!”

Without waiting for a reply, you ran out from the room, from the shop. You were in no capacity to continue the investigation with your friends when you are in this state of instability. You just want to leave and disappear for a while. 

Just for a while.

◇

Back inside the room, Madame Adora was greeted by Soonyoung and Wonwoo, who were surprised to know that you had left running out of the shop. 

“Ah, did Y/N lose her temper again?” Wonwoo asked as he had heard you shouting earlier. “We must apologize, Madame.”

“No, it is I who wishes for your pardon. I must have hurt your friend,” she replied. “Please give this to her as an apology.” 

The two men watched as the Madame pulled out a small box from one of the desk’s drawers and placed it on the table. They wondered what the Madame had said in the reading that made you lose composure. 

“We will deliver this to her immediately,” Soonyoung replied as he took the box and dropped it inside his pocket. “And thank you for the documents.”

“It is meant for you. I had been called upon to buy the desk which it was stored in, and when you came to this shop in search for such an item, I knew it was meant for this purpose,” Madame Adora replied, intertwining her fingers together. “But more than that, please watch over Y/N.”

Both Wonwoo and Soonyoung exchanged glances. “W-we will.”

“Simply watch over her and give her support. She is going through something which only she can resolve.”

As the Madame said those words, her gaze was caught by the single card by her side. It was the card at the back of the deck—usually meant to summarize the energy of the whole reading. 

It was the Lovers.

◇

It was already dreadfully dark when you had decided to return to your dorm room.

The wisteria trees were already a midnight grey, the unlit path, a dark purple. Only a few streetlamps offered illumination through the pitch-black night as you waded through the campus in silence.

You took your time alone—wandering on random alleyways, sitting on deserted park benches, watching people pass by as they live their own lives, with their own problems. Nothing seemed real during those hours of isolation in the midst of the crowd. It was like the pain was too far away for you to reach; the events from that afternoon too far away to be reality.

Yet you knew you needed to return somehow. Thus, with eyes exhausted from crying tears unshed, and the ribbon you used to conceal your soulmate bond in your hands, you opened the door to your dorm room and saw its gauche splendor in shameless display.

With a sigh, you wrapped the ribbon on your wrist haphazardly, not caring if not seemed sloppy as long as the black bars were far from your sight.

Walking to the common room, you scanned the area for your roommate, wondering if he was asleep or still at his office on a Friday night. It would be better if you didn’t see him, you thought. There would be less explaining to do.

Yet the common room was depressingly empty. It had occurred to you that you never even spent much time in there as much as you would’ve liked. Was it simply because you were avoiding him or you were just not interested in sharing the same space with him, you didn’t know.

As you move past the wooden dining table and towards the kitchenette for a glass of water, you bumped into something fleshy and soft which definitely made you shriek and fall onto the floor in a painful thud.

“What…on earth?” you muttered, gradually coming down from your sudden adrenaline rush, your sight refocusing.

To your astonishment, you found one Lee Jihoon lying on the floor, obviously drunk by the whisky which was once inside the bottle he was clinging on to for dear life. Apprehensively, you crawled towards him, to check if he was still breathing. Yet before you could touch him, his dark brown eyes were on to you, still cold and jaded as the nights of December.

“Jihoon—“

You were about to reprimand him for bringing in prohibited alcohol inside the dorms and for sleeping on the floor during a cold autumn day, when you realized that his skin was red. Bright red.

Concern immediately shoots up to your brain as you reach out to him.

“Jihoon!” You exclaimed, shaking him to sobriety. “Jihoon! Are you intolerant to alcohol?”

Despite your concern, he could only hum groggily. “It’s…fine.”

“What do you mean ‘it’s fine’? How many bottles have you drunk?!” You asked, looking around and saw several bottles of the same whisky he was holding. “Oh god, you even chose one with high alcohol content! You shouldn’t be drinking this.”

“It’s…fine, Y/N. I only had a few… just a few…”

He simply groaned in reply, lying comfortably on the floor without a care in the world. You only stared at him in exasperation, brushing your hair as you sighed.

You felt an urge to just leave him like that on the floor until dawn breaks. He can take care of himself, and being drunk probably isn’t something new to him. Yet you knew you can’t just do that. Whether or not he was Lee Jihoon, you had the obligation to not leave him to die of alcohol poisoning or of hypothermia.

The last one was a stretch, you admit but still, there was no way you could leave him like that as someone who tries to be compassionate at every point of day. At least, the sofa was a lot better than the cold floor.

Reaching for his arm and placing it around your shoulders, you tried to carry Jihoon to the sofa just a few steps away. Yet you hadn’t anticipated how heavy he actually was as you barely dragged him across the room, huffing and panting. You were not one with the best fitness

“Come on, Jihoon. Hold yourself up!  You’re simply too heavy for me to carry!” You exclaimed as you tried not to stumble on the way.

“Mmn…I’m sorry...I’m trying…” he drawled, his eyes half-lidded and unfocused—obvious indications that he has drunk too much for his own good.

Just a little bit…

Taking that one step remaining, you immediately tossed Jihoon to the soft sofa with a long and exhausted sigh. He only groaned, his hair in a disarray. You had only noticed now that he still had his work clothes on: a grey suit piece sans the tie which he must’ve tossed somewhere in the immediate past.

He had his eyes closed as you sat closely to him, watching his chest rise and fall with every breath. Jihoon seemed to be in peace this way, far from the constant creases in his brow or on his lips. Brushing away a stray lock of hair from his face, you noticed the angles on his face, the fullness of his cheeks, the rosiness of his lips. Was he always this familiar to you? It was a question you had no immediate answers to. Yet you had never anticipated to end your exhausting day with a drunk Lee Jihoon, yet that’s where you are now.

“I should give him some medicine to ease the redness,” you muttered to yourself as you stood up, your mind already listing the ingredients you needed to make one tablet, but before you did, a hand had stopped you in your tracks.

“Please…don’t leave me,” his voice, still lethargic, echoed behind you and you were forced to turn, your eyes captured by his unrelenting gaze.

“Jihoon…” you spoke softly, returning to your seat beside him as you helped him sit up clumsily. “But you’re still flushing.”

“Doesn’t matter…” he replied back, leaning unsteadily until you caught him in your arms. Now he was peacefully resting his head on your shoulder, burying himself into your embrace.

“J-Jihoon…?”

To say that you were wholly surprised was an understatement. You were floundering and unable to make anything out of this situation. This was something incredibly out of character for the Lee Jihoon you thought you knew.

“Y/N…I must….must apologize,” he began, which definitely made you furrow your brows in bewilderment. “I’m so sorry… I—I failed you…”

You stared into the air incredulously, not understanding what page Jihoon was in.

“You didn’t fail me,” you replied back. “You didn’t fail anyone, Jihoon…”

However, it seemed like your words fell into deaf ears as he snuggled up to you, wrapping his arms around you tightly.

“I’m so sorry…Y/N…please…please forgive me…”

Concluding that this was probably one drunk confession, you allowed him to find comfort in your presence, placing a consoling hand on his back as he continued to apologize to you.

This was a side to him you hadn’t expected to see. It was vulnerable, raw and unapologetically real—words you never thought you’d associate with Lee Jihoon. Yet there you were, as you hugged him back, finding solace in his arms as well when there was no one in the world you could share your burdens with.

“It’s okay, Jihoon…” you replied to him as you closed your eyes. “At least you tried, and it’s good enough for me.”

“Yet…yet…why can’t I feel you…?” he cried out, his voice clearly in pain. “Why can’t I reach you…? I…I always…alwaysss wanted to know you…to hold you like this…”

“Jihoon…”

You wished there was something you could say or do, yet you didn’t even know what he was talking about. It felt like the two of you were talking in a circle of riddles; finding yourselves in different pages.

“Y/N…please don’t be angry…please….please….don’t reject me,” he continued on as if in a trance. “I’m so sorry….so sorryyy….”

There was something in his words, or the way his voice shook that had pierced right through you. You wondered what you had done to him to plead to you like this. Yes, you did push him away a few weeks ago, yet that was the farthest you had gone to hurt him. You couldn’t understand what was happening, nevertheless, you still felt called upon to take action.

Moving your hand, you brushed his soft locks gently.

“I won’t reject you, Jihoon. I won’t push you away. I promise you.”

◇

PARLIAMENT PASSES BILL CRACKING DOWN ON CILVEKAN NATIONALS by Jeon Wonwoo

The Porta Persa Edition, October 27th

 In a historic vote, the Parliament has passed a bill on harsher travel restrictions for Cilvekan nationals as well as an extensive program which allows for the investigation of all Cilvekans in Porta Persa. This bill marks a tantamount win on Rep. Kang Jinho and his Conservative party—warranting a speculation of a bid on the Prime Minister seat.

This soon-to-be law highlights restrictions set on the amount of Cilvekan nationals leaving and entering Porta Persa wherein local governments can monitor their actions inside the country. It is also in the prerogative of the local government to deny entry to any Cilvekan wishing to enter.  According to Rep. Kang, it is necessary to be able to detect any sort of preemptive strike against Porta Persa to avoid endangering the security of the people.

This bill also boasts a program which, in conjunction with the restrictions, shall implement a vast inspection of all Cilvekan nationals present in the country. They are to undergo a thorough investigation conducted by the police and shall be warranted to arrests if ill-intentions against Porta Persa is proven.

With this bill, according to the Parliament, the government shall be able to ensure that the national security of Porta Persa shall not be threatened by any means, even if it meant sacrificing privacy and material gains. Sacrifice is and always will be inevitable on the road to peace…

◇

In the pitch black darkness of the night, echoes of footfalls resounded across the streets of Porta Persa. There was breaking of glass, breaking of wood, and shouts of women. 

Fear was high in the scent of the night. The streets of Porta Pera enshrined by men and women—rounded up in handcuffs and tied by accusations. Half the town was awake and afraid, half the town asleep and aloof. 

The night had just began.

CHAP 1 | CHAP 2 | CHAP 3 | CHAP 4 | CHAP 5 |  CHAP 6 |

-Hyeri

[dear-yandere]

May i ask your opinion relating to the tumblr writing community dying? Well you see when you are an anon sending request to a writing blog, what is the area of too detail and too vague and the area between them? This is something that is kinda troubling me. I found out that writer dont like thing that is too vague or too detail. And when they decide to delete it and not write it, it PROBABLY make us think that our req not appropriate, which then discourage us to ask another req and not involve with the blog only reading.

I dont know about vague, but i know my own short-coming as an anon who probably send ask that is too detail (which i why i dont ask or request, just read). I have a particular taste or genre (i divide the nsfw from sfw and know which is appropriate) I send the ask so that the blog have more genre or they can write a fic/hcs/sc that is based on my idea so that other people can enjoy. (I found another anon whose request that they think is too detailed, so they kinda say to write it yourself) If you ask why dont you write it yourself, what if the asker is not good at writing, not good at the characterization, or doesnt know how to have a good writing format. And thinking the writing blog is an outlet to share their idea that they can not write to the fandom .

Please think about how an anon or an asker feel if they actually give a critic or an opinion that is not a praise (not a harrasment) to a blog that have a lot of followers and another writer friends. I would not want to be ganged on.

And also sending request to multiple writing blog (which i didn't do since i found that writers dont like that) this is from my pov as a requester or non-writer that run a blog, but what if they send it because they thought that their req is erased so they send another one to another blog to write, but the other blog thought that is a requester who sends to multiple blog because they are friend with the first blog?

I'm sorry this is so long. I just thought giving a comment to that post since i like to read fic in tumblr. Maybe i can give an insight or another side to look at. If there is something that i am wrong at, please be gentle with me and no cussing. I prefer to have a civiled discussion. Sorry if i offend you or something or that i sound annoying. This is just an opinion.

ahhh there’s a lot to address here, so i’ll answer it one by one.

May i ask your opinion relating to the tumblr writing community dying? Well you see when you are an anon sending request to a writing blog, what is the area of too detail and too vague and the area between them? This is something that is kinda troubling me. I found out that writer dont like thing that is too vague or too detail. And when they decide to delete it and not write it, it PROBABLY make us think that our req not appropriate, which then discourage us to ask another req and not involve with the blog only reading.

i’ve heard mixed opinions on this from different writers. some writers prefer detailed requests so they can understand exactly what the anon wants; other writers prefer vague requests so that they have creative freedom to write whatever they want. writers aren’t obligated to fill requests, so they could delete the request for reasons besides it being vague or too detailed; if you’re unsure if your favorite writer prefers vague/detailed requests, don’t hesitate to ask!

I dont know about vague, but i know my own short-coming as an anon who probably send ask that is too detail (which i why i dont ask or request, just read). I have a particular taste or genre (i divide the nsfw from sfw and know which is appropriate) I send the ask so that the blog have more genre or they can write a fic/hcs/sc that is based on my idea so that other people can enjoy. (I found another anon whose request that they think is too detailed, so they kinda say to write it yourself) If you ask why dont you write it yourself, what if the asker is not good at writing, not good at the characterization, or doesnt know how to have a good writing format. And thinking the writing blog is an outlet to share their idea that they can not write to the fandom .

some blogs avoid specific genres, so if you send an ask so that they have more of that genre, your request is probably less likely to be filled. for example, i’m a yandere blog, so i tend to stray away from fluff or comfort ideas; i do sfw, but i tend to prefer more nsfw ideas, whether it’s a lewd idea or otherwise (gore, taboo topic, etc). in other words, i’m less likely to fulfill a non-yandere or overly sfw idea (ex. “character cuddling reader”) than i am to fulfill a darker or more nsfw idea. it’s up to writer preference.

for the writer who told the anon to write it themselves, i kinda get it? most writers prefer to have creative freedom, so if an anon sends the story they want in such detail, it’s basically already written. i totally get why someone might be unable to write it themselves, but if a request is that long and detailed, it’s probably better to ask the writer if they accept detailed requests first. or, check if they accept commissions, especially since writing a specific idea can be really mentally taxing and difficult!

Please think about how an anon or an asker feel if they actually give a critic or an opinion that is not a praise (not a harrasment) to a blog that have a lot of followers and another writer friends. I would not want to be ganged on.

i’m sorry if this has happened to anyone... i personally haven’t seen it, nor do i know anyone who would gang up on someone for offering feedback. however, not every blog wants opinions / critiques on their work. a great deal of blogs do, but that doesn’t mean every writer does. again, always ask first, or check their rules.

And also sending request to multiple writing blog (which i didn't do since i found that writers dont like that) this is from my pov as a requester or non-writer that run a blog, but what if they send it because they thought that their req is erased so they send another one to another blog to write, but the other blog thought that is a requester who sends to multiple blog because they are friend with the first blog?

in general, writers don’t like when anons send the exact same request to multiple writers, especially if the anon didn’t even change the wording. it’s very rude, and it makes writers feel like they’re machines / expendable. my suggestion is to personalize the ask to the blog you’re sending it to, or at least change the wording and mention that you sent the same idea to other blogs and you’re curious what [this writer] thinks too.

i hope this clears some things up. this ask was in response to my interactions post, so i want to reiterate that none of these should deter you from interacting with a writer, even if you only leave a “i like this!” or some emojis! i totally get that interacting with writers, especially bigger writers, can be scary, but the thing is, there won’t be any more writers to interact with if they feel they aren’t being seen.

anon 2. Hello, saw you post about writing community is dying. It's not, tumblr has the worst ask box and it does show ask box on the app :( Please if you have Twitter, or Istagram or others. Please put a link to them. T.T I beg of you T.T

what does my social media have to do with the writing community dying? also, how is it not dying? i asked around, and the ask box seems to work, so maybe it’s just your app? gosh this ask is so confusing... i still can’t wrap my head around why you’d want my social media. i can’t really upload my fics to them...especially instagram and twitter?? anon i’m so lost...😢