#It’s all downhill from here… Literally have no idea what to get my family this year because they won’t TELL me. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

chaosduckies · 9 months ago

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Restoration (Chapter 8)

A bunch of scenes because why not? On another note, it is extremely hard to write a scene in winter when it’s the middle of April. I hope you enjoy anyhow! Because now I’m really getting into the plot.

Word Count: 5.9k

CW: Death, crying, vague thoughts of suicide, severe trauma, (anything else idk??)

8-Ryker

It was Thanksgiving break. The first official break from school until Christmas. Words could not describe how grateful I was for the week-long break. There was no reason to have so much work piled up a couple weeks before the end of first semester.

I was laying in my bed on my phone. It was about to turn six, which meant I should probably get started on dinner, but I just couldn’t bring myself to climb out of bed. I was physically and mentally tired of keeping up with everyone and whatever plans they had with their friends, taking care of Isabelle and Angela since they were still little, and on top of that keep up with the chores around the house.

I grabbed my phone off the charger, stretched out my arms and legs from laying down, and opened my door to get started on dinner. The living room was oddly quiet, with Dylan and Lucky playing a game. Isabelle playing a game with Angela on the carpet that consisted of a bunch of stuffed animals and blankets. I smiled to myself.

“What do you guys feel like eating for dinner?” I leaned against the kitchen island, waiting for an answer.

“Spaghetti!” Isabelle and Angela answered at the time, giggling at one another. I think I could do that. I don’t know if Lucky can though. It was the first weekend of the break and I’d probably need to go grocery shopping tomorrow anyways.

I looked in Dylan’s direction, making them pause whatever they were playing together. He just shrugged his shoulders, “Whatever’s easier for you.” Always with the same response.

“Ummm, I can go check what we have.” Lucky told me, getting Dylan to let him onto the floor. All I could do was wait now. Jasmine was staying over at her friends today and tomorrow. I just told her to text me if she goes anywhere far and if she needed anything. Weird, right? Usually the parent handles these kinds of things, but in the situation my siblings and I are in it’s literally impossible.

Lucky came back, shaking his head, “We don’t have the things for spaghetti,” He laid down on the arm rest of the couch and grabbed his remote, “You should call Nathan to come over. He hasn’t been here in a while. Plus, he’s so much better at cooking than I am. Right, Angela?”

“Yeah!”

I bit the side of my cheek. I don’t know about that. Just asking Nathan to come over to cook and then ask him to leave? That was wrong. Plus, he told me before the break that he’ll be pretty busy. Or… texted me. Either way, I shouldn’t bother him. Maybe he actually has a meal with his family for Thanksgiving and they were all getting ready for it already. On the other hand, Lucky makes something else for him and Angela, Angela doesn’t eat, and then everything goes downhill from there.

Looking at my phone, I picked it up, opening the messages app, and clicked on Nathan’s name. The last time he came here, Jasmine did kind of freak him out. I remember him not being able to leave anyone’s side if she was in the room. I wonder if he’d even want to come over after that. At school the next day he was a little nervous, but otherwise fine afterward, but I’m sure whatever Jasmine told him is still stuck in his mind. Ugh. This was such a bad idea.

Ryker: I have a huge favor to ask you

I waited for a response, watching Dylan and Lucky play a fighting game against one another. I had no idea who was winning, but I’m pretty sure it was Lucky. Actually… it was kind of weird how Lucky seemed to want Nathan around more often. Like, really weird. Especially when every time Nathan came, he would practically ditch him with me. I honestly don’t mind, I liked having Nathan come over, but still. I had wondered why, but I wasn’t going to ask.

Nathan: Yeah?

Ryker: Do you mind coming over to help Lucky cook something?

Ryker: You don’t have to

Well, if he says no Lucky will have to make whatever he can and I’d have to break the news to Angela. If you didn’t know, four year olds can be a little hard to deal with sometimes. So, this might just turn out to be a very, very bad day.

Nathan: Sure!

Nathan: Anything specific?

I stared at his text, relief washing over me. Dylan let out a cheer from winning against Lucky. Wow. Perfect timing. I was just so grateful right now. Nathan was literally the greatest friend ever. Now I have to think of someway to thank him. That shouldn’t be too hard, right?

Ryker: They wanted spaghetti

Ryker: And thank you

Nathan: No problem :)

Ryker: I guess I’ll be at the bus stop in about twenty minutes?

Nathan: Okay

I stuffed my phone in my pocket, “Okay, I’ll be right back, just text me if something happens.” I told Dylan, who nodded his head. And with that, I walked out the door and into the cold air.

———Nathan———

Winters in the city were bad. But not as bad as when we were still help captive. Now those days were terrible. Horrifying even. It was still freakishly cold here. Not something I enjoy. For several reasons really. One being that I already get cold really easily. Two, I just hated being cold and sick. And the most important reason being that it was during this kind of weather when my dad had died. Actually, in three days it’s officially been nine years since my dad died. November 24. A long time, right?

It hurts. The memories. Not just of him but how they brutally murdered him in front of his own child. I shuddered at the sight pictured in my mind. Nope. Can’t think about that. Right now I should probably be getting ready to head over to the bus stop. I already had packed a tiny bag with the things I needed to cook. Weird enough, it was kind of a therapy for me at this point. To be cooking I mean. I guess that’s why my mom always gets worried when I’m baking for no reason. Because she knows.

I sighed, giving my mom a quick text that I was heading over to Ryker’s for a little while. The last time I went, I thought everything was going great before Jasmine talked to me alone. everyone had left to go looking for something and it was just her and I. I was scared of course. We’ve never, ever talked before and from what I’ve gathered she’s really intimidating.

Her exact words to me were: “If you hurt my brother in any way I will personally murder you.” and that was was it took for me to have an entire mental breakdown for nearly two weeks. I mean, who wouldn’t be scared if someone’s sibling threatened you like that? So, the week before the break, I might have been acting a little weird around Ryker, afraid that I might actually do something wrong or hurt him in any way, which I don’t really see how I could.

Otherwise, I haven’t really been doing anything. I told Ryker that I would be busy during the break, but really I wasn’t. Only because I do actually have something to do on November 24, and I was already feeling the depression spikes as the day came closer and closer. As for Thanksgiving itself, my mom and I never do anything. Last year we were barely getting used to being in the mental hospital so we didn’t really do anything. This year she’s working so it’ll just be me. Nothing new.

I made my way down the icy streets, the sun setting faster and faster. It was only getting colder, and I didn’t really have a winter jacket. Just some to wear in the classroom like when it’s freezing in there. So, yeah, I was basically freezing my face off. Not to mention that my mom told me it might snow later tonight since it was already under twenty degrees outside. I wasn’t used to cold weather.

Once I made it to the bus stop, I snuggled up with my bag on the bench, trying to have some kind of warmth. Also because there were several people (giants) who were going back home from stores or getting off of work. The bus stop was actually used for both humans and giants. The human was a little ways from the huge one that was practically as tall as a skyscraper. Maybe taller.

My hands were shaky from the cold, but it was only another five minutes before Ryker would come and hopefully I wouldn’t be as cold. Maybe. Hopefully. I don’t know what today has in store for me. All I knew was that I just wanted to wrap myself in a blanket with some hot chocolate and binge watch something on tv.

Ryker came a few minutes later, smiling and giving a thanks before offering a hand. I threw the bag on first before struggling to get on. It was hard when the ground underneath you was starting to freeze over, but I figured it out after trying for a good minute.

“You’re freezing.” Ryker told me, cupping his hand just a little. Sure, it was scary to have his fingers closer to me, but still, it was warm. How could I deny something that was practically calling me?

“That good?” He smiled, for some reason making sure I was comfortable. But I was not about to complain. I was desperate at this point. I nodded my head, bringing my knees closer to my chest to keep some of my body warmth with me. And yet another reason I hate winter.

“Thanks again. Sorry for bothering you.”

I continuously shook my head, hoping he would get the message that it was fine. Plus, I liked going over. Everyone was nice (Besides Jasmine I’m pretty sure she hates me) and never really tried to do anything too crazy with me. It was great. I’m not as afraid anymore, which was a miracle given I thought I could never trust anyone ever again, and I’ve actually made some friends.

Ryker opened the door to his house, where we found them all watching a movie together. Everyone turned their heads as soon as the door closed behind Ryker. I jumped slightly, but relaxed after a while. Nothing to be afraid of. Dylan’s eyes landed on me, giving a smile and a two fingered wave. I waved back, but I doubt he could see it.

I was set down on the ground, not entirely expecting to be in a tight hug the second I balanced myself. Lucky bursted out laughing, letting me go, “You are literally the best, Nathan.” I laughed with him, following Lucky into the room.

——————

I didn’t eat anything. I wasn’t hungry. Of course Ryker tried to convince me to eat something, but I always answered no. Otherwise, dinner was okay. They had Lucky, Angela and I on the coffee table, which wasn’t really too big of a deal. I’m pretty sure Ryker and Dylan just didn’t want to handle any humans while they were eating, and hey, I was not about to say anything about it. There are just some things that will never leave my mind.

After everyone ate, Dylan and Lucky started playing a game on the tv while Isabelle and Angela were playing hide and seek I’m pretty sure. I just hoped that no one would get hurt, but Ryker quickly reassured me that they would never harm one another. I just had to believe him. Most of his siblings are stuck together like glue. Which is a good thing.

“It’s supposed to start snowing in a little bit.” Ryker announced, earning cheers from the other room where I was guessing Angela and Isabelle were. I was sitting on the arm rest of the couch by Ryker. I kind of wished that their house was a little warmer, because I was still annoyingly cold, but beggars can’t be choosers. I should have asked to grab a blanket.

“Nice. Are we gonna go out?” Dylan asked, eyes glued to the screen. I had no idea who was winning, but I think it was him.

“If you want to.”

Ryker threw his phone on the other side of the couch, turning his head to the screen. I don’t want to go outside, but I’ll go if that makes things easier. I just don’t want to be in the snow. Reasons. Remember?

It was about ten minutes later that it did actually start snowing. Angela and Isabelle were begging Ryker to let them outside, which he just laughed to and told them to get jackets on and to bring their hats. Dylan paused their game to go get on a jacket, and Ryker left to go help Isabelle. So I was alone in the living room while everyone was busy to go have some fun. I hated winter. In just three days. I reminded myself.

What would happen? Would someone else be claimed victim? Something bad always happens during this time. I don’t know if it was just me. It probably was. Everyone else was smiling while I was crying in the corner. It’s how it was in the hospital. They all went outside if they could, and I stayed in my room, under the blankets and shove my face into my pillow to drown out my tears. I couldn’t do that now though. Not when so many people had their eyes on me. Not when a trip back to the hospital was a very viable option for me. I didn’t want to go back. Not because of something… traumatic that happened nine years ago. I should be over it, right? But I’m not.

There goes one of my depression spells. Great. Just great. At a time like this? I sucked in a deep breath, calming myself down before anyone notices. This was embarrassing.

Ryker came back into the room, eyes landing on me with an unsure look on his face. He walked up to me, holding a hand out. Was he not going to wear any gloves? He wouldn’t be cold? I stood up, keeping my balance on the soft surface underneath me and walking to climb onto his hand.

“You don’t mind if I just keep you in my hand, right? I don’t want you to be freezing.” He asked. I shook my head, sitting down in the middle of his palm. That was actually what I preferred. I did not plan whatsoever to go into the snow anyways.

Once everyone was outside, Ryker sat down on the stairs, cupping his hand and keeping me close. A little uneasy about it, but there was really no reason to be. It’s just instinct. And everything in me right now is saying to get the hell inside. But I wasn’t going to say that. Mostly because I don’t want to be alone.

They were all screaming and laughing. It was snowing pretty hard too, already covering most of the frosted grass just after ten minutes. Other people were also sitting outside. Their kids playing around with the snow. I tried not to focus on that. Instead, I found myself scooting back slowly, almost to where I couldn’t see the heavy fall of the white flakes.

My body was still freezing. It was so much colder than before. Was this how dad felt? The cold pricking at his skin I mean.

“Nathan?” My thoughts were interrupted by a soft voice above me. I groaned, body shaking and stuffing my hands in my pockets to preserve some of my body heat. I shuddered a breath, trembling. It’s so cold… How could they even be having fun like this? I looked ahead, seeing Dylan helping Isabelle make a small snowman with both Angela and Lucky stuffed in his scarf. This was just another one of my depression spells.

“Still cold?” Ryker asked me. I took a deep breath, “Y-Yeah…” It came out more like a quiet mumble, and I was surprised that he even heard me. Did he want to help them make a snowman? He probably did. I should just tell him to leave me inside. It would make things a million times easier for everyone.

Ryker moved his hand a bit, making me worried about what he was trying to do, but he just kept it the same. I wondered why he was going through all this trouble just for me. There was really no point. There was only a couple more months until graduation and then we’d go our separate ways. That’s how it always goes. I’d be alone again, figuring out what to do with the rest of my life. That’s how my story goes.

“Better?”

I nodded my head, getting to a comfortable position and decided to just watch what they were all doing. Finishing up the head of the snowman. It was comfy even though I was kind of scared from being in someone’s hand. At least now that is. Currently I was just afraid of falling into the deep snow. I’m pretty sure if I fell I’d sink into it. Not something I would like to see or imagine.

“You okay?” Ryker asked, softly smiling above me. There was no other response other than to nod. I couldn’t just say no. That wouldn’t do any good. But.. maybe if he notices that these next few days would be hard for me. Maybe. Just maybe. I doubt it though. I don’t plan on being here all of the time anyways. I couldn’t.

Isabelle finished the snowman, grabbing some loose twigs for arms as they stepped back. It was still snowing, just not as much. Was dad watching me right now? Was he shocked just as much as I was? I never thought I’d ever be able to be around another giant for as long as I had lived, and here I am, sitting in one of their hands. Would he think I was crazy? Delusional? Psycho? Happy like my mom even? I would never know, but even I think I was crazy.

Actually… why did I even trust Ryker? Or really anyone. They’re all so nice of course, but about four months ago I was so sure that every giant would only hurt me, and it almost became true with that lunch incident that felt like forever ago. So why did I trust these people with my life? In the back of my mind I keep thinking that this was all just a sick joke being played on me. But… I don’t think these people are lying about anything. They don’t have a reason to. And Ryker’s been nothing but patient, and kind, and… understanding. No one would go through all that trouble just to fool someone as gullible as me.

I sighed, snuggling up closer to Ryker’s thumb and watching Isabelle throw snowballs at Dylan who was shielding Lucky and Angela from the crossfire. Was it scary being there? In the midst of everything? Having to trust someone at least fifty times your size to keep you safe? I sucked in a shaky breath, just watching. It wasn’t so bad really.

———Ryker———

Today was November 24. Thanksgiving was here, and everything was a complete mess. I never learned how to make a turkey like the tradition, so usually I just made something that all of us had liked. Along with that, I had to make sure no one did anything too crazy while I was busy in the kitchen. Jasmine and Dylan were helping out cooking while I ordered something for Lucky and Angela. They both agreed on pizza (Because what else does a fourteen year-old and a four year-old want) so now I was busy with that. That part was mostly because Angela didn’t like when Lucky cooks something different.

It was just pure chaos now. Everyone was running around the house, and at that point I had to ask Jasmine to keep an eye on Angela to make sure she didn’t wander off where we couldn’t find her. I wasn’t too worried about Lucky since he’s almost always with Dylan, plus he’s smart enough to stay off the floor when it’s something like this.

I took out the lasagna, letting it cool down before making separate plates. Yeah, I know, super weird, but I can’t do anything better. I only know the basics thanks to my parents, and that was all I needed to know.

There was a knock on the door, and I asked Dylan to open it. It was just the pizza. I washed whatever dishes I had and called everyone that dinner was ready. It’s days like this where I wished that my parents never left. I feel like I can never be like them even though I was the oldest. I mean, was I just supposed to let CPS split us all apart? I couldn’t do that. My siblings would never forgive me. I like to think that they’re all happy, but I doubt it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do anything to help any of them. Like I’m doing this “parenting” thing all wrong. Of course I was. I was seventeen in my last year of high school taking care of five kids on my own while also juggling a job and trying to do fun things with them so we can forget about what happened a little over a year ago. There was no reason for one person to be doing all of this.

It was snowing outside again. Not really surprising when you’ve lived here for your entire life. It was really nice though. I loved the cold. Weird, because most people don’t, but I do. I remember my parents freaking out when I would just be outside making a snowman in just a short sleeve and sweatpants when I was a kid. Of course it was so cold it burned, but I guess I kind of liked it? It was hard to explain. Or sometimes we’d stay inside and watch movies or play a game. I missed it really.

“Ry.” Jasmine snapped her fingers in front of me to get my attention. I blinked a couple times before giving a clueless look. She groaned, “I asked if I could go shopping tomorrow, I have work the next three days so I just wanna go do something.”

“Oh, um, sure.”

The tv was playing in the background, but I wasn’t paying attention. Come to think of it, I don’t think I was paying attention to anything. Dylan, Jasmine, and Lucky were all laughing about something. What were they laughing about again? Something about going back to school? I don’t even want to think about that right now. I needed a break anyways. Most of my classes love giving me piles and piles of work anyways.

I sighed, pushing away my plate that I had barely eaten. The sun has already set, everyone was done eating, Angela asked Jasmine if she could go outside in the snow. She said yes, and so Isabelle followed. Dylan and Lucky were helping me wash the remaining dishes. Honestly I already felt so tired. It was only 8 p.m but my eyes threatened to close at any moment.

“You okay, Ry?” Dylan asked, putting a plate up in the cabinet.

“Yeah.” I replied, handing him another to dry. Lucky shook his head while continuously saying “no” over and over again. At some point Dylan grew tired of it and pressed the pad of his thumb into Lucky’s entire upper half of his body.

“He’s not wrong. You’re always like this on holidays.”

“I am?” I sighed, not really knowing how to get out of this one. These two have always been vigilant anyways. They would have noticed at some point.

“Yeah.”

“I don’t know. I just feel really tired today.”

“That’s it?”

“Mhm.”

Dylan gave me a skeptical look before putting in another plate. He doesn’t believe me. I don’t think he ever will about these kinds of things.

“Why don’t you call Nathan? You always seem happier around him.”

I stopped only for a second, then continued to scrub off something on the pan I used. No. I won’t call him. Not this time. No matter how many times he’s actually made me feel better just by being here. I’ve noticed I was happier around him too, but it’s only short lived since he always goes back at the end of the day. Do I know why I was happier? Not really. I’ve thought of a few reasons. Because he’s the only friend I’ve made since middle school. He listens to me ramble on and on about the most useless information. Best of all he’s really nice. Doesn’t really seem like he’s tricking me either. Not that I think he could even if he wanted to. He was too sweet.

“No.” I sighed. Cleaning out the sink and handing off the last dish.

“Why not?” Dylan asked leaning against the counter.

“Cause I’m tired. No point in calling if I’m just going to fall asleep,” I countered, drying my hands and heading to my room, “Make sure Isabelle and Angela are asleep by 10? Please?”

Dylan nodded his head, I closed the door behind me and buried myself under the covers of my bed. I can’t keep on relying on Nathan to come fix every problem I have. He’s probably off dealing with whatever he’s doing right now anyways. But still, my hand reached for my phone, grabbing it and opening the messages app. I’m just gambling with myself at this point. If he answers in the next ten minutes I’ll ask to call, if he doesn’t, I’ll head to sleep. Either way it’s really a win-win. And here it goes.

———Nathan———

I was laying on my bed, under the covers. No lights, no sounds, just nothing. I had cried earlier this morning when I visited his grave. My eyes were dry now. Red and puffy. I just sat curling in on myself while clutching the same teddy bear he gave me when I was still just a kid. It was childish, but if it’s all I have left of him then I’m taking advantage of that.

Ironic, huh? How this holiday was supposed to bring family together. It was actually the opposite for me. Even though he didn’t actually die on this holiday, it’s just ironic how it happened this year. When we’re finally free and live like a “normal” family now. Was he watching me now? Sad and lonely in my bed? I hope he wasn’t. He’d scold me.

My phone went off, but I didn’t feel like looking at it. It’s not like I wanted to be alone. Usually my mom would cheer me up by taking my mind off of it. Whether it was playing some makeshift game or just doing something I liked with me. What else was there to say? This year was the year I was completely alone.

I sucked in a deep breath, picking up my phone with sore arms. I spent most of the day digging out the old flowers on his grave and replacing them with new ones. It was hard to do when a thin sheet of snow was covering most of the dirt and grass, but it was worth it to see the bright a beautiful colors. His favorites were lilacs. I remember mom telling me that.

My eyes shot up when I saw who texted me. Ryker? I mean it was already night, so I doubt he was going to ask if I wanted to go over. But… I was kind of curious now.

Ryker: Hey

Ryker: How was your day?

Ryker: You’re probably doing something right now but I’d just thought I’d check what you were doing

Sent five minutes ago. Why did he want to know what I was doing? It seemed weird to me, but maybe he was just bored. Did they celebrate? I hope they did. They seem to be happy with each other.

Nathan: It was okay :)

Nathan: And yours?

Ryker: Chaotic

Nathan: Oh

I wasn’t technically lying. My day was okay despite crying for most of it.

Ryker: Yeahhh

Ryker: Do you feel like calling?

Ryker: You don’t have to of course

I thought about it. It wouldn’t be that bad. Might keep my mind occupied.

Nathan: Sure

And so he called.

“Hello?” His voice sounded tired and sad, like he just woke up or something. I couldn’t find my voice. It’s become rasp from sobbing anyways. It’d be embarrassing for it to sound like that over the phone. So hopefully it’ll get better in the morning.

“Oh, right,” He sighed, “Sorry. I just felt like talking and usually you listen. You can just hang up if you don’t want to though.” He sounded nervous, but I didn’t want to hang up. Not only because it was the wrong thing to do, but because I always loved listening to what he was saying. No matter how irrelevant it was. It distracted my mind from everything wrong with me. And he seemed to like it when I did.

Nathan: I’m listening

I heard him let out a little chuckle before talking. I could hear at some points it sounded like he was going to cry, and some he sounded like he was so hurt, and sometimes he’d laugh. He changed the subject multiple times, but I kind of liked it. I just wished I could help in some other way. It sounded to me like he was stressed out and just wanted someone to be there, and I’m surprised none of his siblings were. Or maybe they were, but he just doesn’t want to put all of this on them. It seemed like something he would do.

By the time he was done, it was an hour before midnight. Funny thing was, I wasn’t tired anymore. I was putting together pieces in my mind still about everything he had talked about. How he was mentally tired of juggling five things around at once. I would be too if I were him. How he’s been more and more exhausted by the end of the day. How his parents usually did all of these kinds of things. I was going to ask what happened to them, but I feel like that was a touchy subject. Especially when he just vented to me. I don’t mind though. Not at all.

“Oh crap. Sorry for keeping you up.” Ryker apologized, saying sorry about five times before I texted him that it was okay. I wasn’t going to sleep anytime soon.

“Thanks. Y’know. For listening.” I heard him yawn on the other side. He was the one tired. I silently laughed to myself, hugging the bear closer to my chest. If only he could see me now… this was embarrassing. He’d probably make fun of me for it. I wouldn’t care.

“You’re too nice, you know that?” I heard shuffling on the other side of the phone. Probably Ryker getting ready to go to sleep. And I know this was selfish, but I didn’t want him to hang up. I didn’t want my mind to realize that I was alone again. Was is it really selfish then? To me, yes. It feels like I was making him do something he didn’t want to.

“Hey, um, remember when you tried hugging me that one time? Why’d you do it?” He had asked, and I could practically see his face. Confused and happy at the same time. He was talking about when I had to stay overnight. I knew that would come up eventually, just not so soon.

Nathan: Nobody’s ever been so nice to me before. Besides my mom of course

Nathan: But I was kind of shocked you agreed without complaining

Nathan: Are you mad about it?

“Mad? Nononono. Um, the complete opposite really,” He laughed quietly, “I was shocked, yeah, but happy too.”

That gets rid of the guilt. I swear I thought I ruined everything between us, but now I know what he really thought. He wasn’t mad at me for anything.

“What about the other day? When it was snowing. You looked comfortable. Like you were about to sleep.” My cheeks started blushing from embarrassment. I had hoped he didn’t see me snuggling closer into his palm to stay warm, but apparently he did. So embarrassing. I groaned quietly to myself, tightly hugging the bear closer.

Nathan: Sorry

Nathan: I was cold

Nathan: You were warm

Nathan: Sorry again

It was silent for a second.

“Why do you apologize for things like that?”

I didn’t know the answer to that question. Usually my mind just takes over and then I spiral into the worst possible scenarios. So I have no idea why I do. Maybe because my brain thinks I’ll get hurt if I don’t? My body was scared of getting another broken bone or something getting hurt?

Nathan: I don’t know

It was silent again.

“Do… do you like being around me? I-I mean most people stop talking to me as soon as they get what they want. So, I was just wondering.” His voice sounded hurt. Obviously this ha sharpened once or twice to him. And it hurt to hear that these things have happened to someone so amazing. I could never do that to Ryker. It’d hurt me more than it’d hurt him.

“Y-yes.” I almost immediately replied, my voice a little raspy. It hurt to speak, but it was fine. It’ll get better in time.

I heard him let out a sigh of relief, and I smiled. I was finally doing the right thing for once in my life. I’m kind of glad this was how the day ended.

“I would give you a hug if you were here… and if you were comfortable enough with it,” We both laughed quietly, “I’ll let you go to sleep. I’ve kept you up long enough.”

I shook my head, forgetting that he wasn’t here to see it. I didn’t want him to go. Then again he sounded exhausted. Then I would be the one keeping him up. Or he doesn’t even have to stay awake. Just the knowledge that I knew he was just on the other side of the phone was enough to make me feel like I wasn’t alone.

“U-Um you d-don’t have to s-stay up b-but could we stay… stay on call? P-Please.” I waited for an answer, biting my tongue for stuttering so much. My body was shaky for no reason. I was nervous. He was going to say no. He was going to say no. He was going to-

“I would love that.”

I wish he could see the smile I had on my face. How fast my heart was beating. I laid down under the covers, getting comfortable and staring at my phone that read: Ryker: 3:14. Three hours and fourteen minutes. Another seven won’t hurt.

“Thank you.”

I fell asleep a couple minutes after he did. No nightmares haunted me tonight.

—————————————

My heart is meltinggggggg

By the way, this was not the great scene I was talking about. This was just one of many to make the one I actually want to write make sense.

Anywayssss I told you guys it would be a little plot heavy for a while! I loved how this chapter came out though.

Hope you enjoyed, and thank you for reading! Love you guys!

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shadowpeachceo · 1 year ago

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More Ninjago incorrect quotes Garmadon Family edition

*Lloyd texting Sensei Garmadon*

Lloyd: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely.

Garmadon: Isn't you're mom there?

Lloyd: Yes but I like you more.

Young Misako : You get turned back into a baby but you retain all your skills and memory, what do you do?

Young Garmadon: Eat a nickel.

Young Misako : A reminder: You have retained all your skills and memories.

Young Wu: Eat a nickel.

Young Misako : Ok.

Lloyd: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Sensei Garmadon: It's Misako 's turn.

Misako : Don't die.

Sensei Garmadon, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

Lloyd: what do you see in this woman???

Young Garmadon: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Young Misako: What's wrong with you??

Young Garmadon: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Young Wu: No, they mean other than that.

Young Garmadon: Ohhhhhh.

Young Garmadon: I haven't slept in 4 days.

OR like father like son

Lloyd: Protip is you do not feel good about yourself after eating tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce.

Sensei Garmadon: What's wrong with you??

Lloyd: I literally JUST said I ate tomato sauce on iceberg lettuce?? Pay attention.

Misako: No, they mean other than that.

Lloyd: Ohhhhhh.

Lloyd: I haven't slept in 4 days.

Lil Lloyd, texting Lord Garmadon: Dad! Help I'm being kidnapped!

Lord Garmadon: Where are you?

Lil Lloyd: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help.

Lord Garmadon: I'll call Wu.

Wu, answering their cell: hello brother?

Lord Garmadon: Where's Lloyd? He texted me that he's were being kidnapped.

Wu: Whaddya mean, he's right next to me-

Wu:

Wu: I'll call you back. *Hangs up*

Wu: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Lil Lloyd: WHO ARE YOU!?

Lloyd: I have a bad feeling about this...

Emperor Garmadon: What do you mean?

Lloyd: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Emperor Garmadon: No?

Wu: That actually explains so much.

Wu to lil Lloyd: First rule of battle, little one... don’t ever let them know where you are.

Lord Garmadon, shooting out of frame: WHOO-HOO! I’M RIGHT HERE! I’M RIGHT HERE! YOU WANT SOME O’ ME?! YEAH YOU DO! COME ON! COME ON! AAAAAH! Whoo-hoo!

Wu: 'Course, there’re other schools of thought.

Wu: We need a distraction.

Lord Garmadon, turning to the Ninja: one of you go to be good at jumping up and down and making weird noises right?

Lil Lloyd, whispering: My time has come.

Wu: Hold on! I’m having one of those things... a headache with pictures.

Lil Lloyd: What the fuck???

Lord Garmadon: They’re having an idea.

Emperor Garmadon: So... This is my full potential?

Harumi: Yes.

Emperor Garmadon: So, then it's...

Emperor Garmadon: All downhill from here.

Harumi: Like Lloyd.

Emperor Garmadon: I do not know what this Lloyd is. But it sounds disappointing.

Misako, excitedly: Heeyy!!

Sensei Garmadon: Hey, someone's excited.

Lloyd, deadpan: Yeah, and it's making me sick.

Lil Lloyd: *cooking*

Lord Garmadon: *kicks down door*

Lord Garmadon: *grabs knife from Lloyd's hand*

Lord Garmadon: WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIOR?

Lil Lloyd:

Lil Lloyd: What???

Wu: he doesn't trust you with sharp objects because he's scared going to turn evil like him.

Lloyd, to Sensei Garmadon: You know, Mom can be really passive aggressive, so it's important to take all the necessary precautions when approaching.

Lloyd: *blows airhorn at Misako* GET FUCKED!

Young Garmadon: Onion rings are vegetable donuts.

Young Wu, used to Garmadon being dumb: Sure...

Young Garmadon: Your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed.

Young Wu: Okay?

Young Garmadon: Lasagna is spaghetti flavored cake.

Young Wu:

Young Garmadon: Lobsters are mermaid scorpio-

Young Wu: Jesus, that one is a little-

Young Misako, interested: No, no, Garmadon, keep going.

Misako: Want to hear a hard riddle?

Garmadon: Sure.

Misako: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

Garmadon: ...down?

Misako: N-

Lloyd: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Misako:

Misako: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... In the name of the first spinjitzu Master...

Wu: So, what's it like living with Lloyd?

Sensei Garmadon: he once referred to sand as "heterosexual glitter."

Wu: ...

Sensei Garmadon: I love my son so much.

Lloyd: So what, now I’m just supposed to do everything that Wu does? What if they jump off a cliff?

Sensei Garmadon: If Wu were to jump off a cliff, they would have done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if you see Wu jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Lloyd: You jump off a cliff.

Sensei Garmadon: Gladly, provided Wu did first.

Garmadon: I bet you’re wondering why I gathered you here today. It’s because we need to have a discussion about how some people in this room aren’t getting along with other people in this room.

Lloyd: Why did you say that so vaguely? Mom and I are literally the only people you called in here.

Lloyd, texting group chat: What flavour of ice cream do you guys want? I’m at the store so be quick!

Garmadon: Moose Tracks is good!

Misako: What the fuck is that!?

Garmadon: *Gasp* How dare you insult moo-

Misako: No. No no not that. What the hell. Why do you spell flavor like flavour. It’s like you have flavor but then this guy shows up and is like “Oui Oui Would you like chocolate flaVOUR or vanilla flaVOUR.

Lloyd and Garmadon: what?

Misako: I don’t get it why add the EXTRA u when it’s PERFECTLY FINE AS IT IS!?

Lloyd: You done now?

Misako: Yeah ok.

Lloyd and Garmadon: ...

Misako: ...Can I have the Mint Chocolate chip flavour?

Garmadon: Remember! Curiosity killed the cat!

Lloyd: Yes, but you forget that satisfaction brought it back. So yes, Misako, go find out if that thing can catch fire!

Garmadon: You're a bad influence.

Lloyd: And you don't know your sayings.

Lloyd: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Misoko: Wasn’t you're dad with you?

Sensei Garmadon: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Wu: Say no to drugs.

Emporer Garmadon: Say yes to drugs.

Lloyd: It doesn't matter if you say yes or no to drugs. If you're talking to drugs.. then you're on drugs.

Emperor Garmadon: All I did was kill Lloyd, is that really such a crime?

Misako:

Misako: Yes?!

Misako: HELP! I TOLD LLOYD I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Wu, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

Sensei Garmadon: If I were a drink, I'd be Cherry Vanilla Coke. If you were a drink, what would you be?

Lloyd: Bleach.

Wu: Sewage.

Sensei Garmadon: ...Please calm down, edgelords.

#ninjago lloyd #ninjago #ninjago lord garmadon #ninjago sensei wu #ninjago sensei garmadon #ninjago misako #ninjago incorrect quotes

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doverstar · 11 months ago

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Hey Doverstar. Fellow Christian here. :) What do you think about The Chosen? They just started releasing Season 4 eps in theaters this February in the United States. I really love this show. What about you? If you do...I think that would be groovy! If not...well. That would also be groovy too. ✌

Hi there! Woah, it's in theaters, that's crazy! Back in my day it was barely stream-able and we had to be in a specific person's living room to get it on the TV, how far we've come by matchbox twenty- I'm glad you asked, this will be long-ish!

I used to attend the church that the creator of the show had been attending at the time when we lived in IL (his name is Dallas, I think we had dinner with him? don't remember). That was before The Chosen was a thing. He had great ideas about what Christian media could be, but The Chosen in particular went downhill fast for me. I think it's an excellent show, but I also think that when you're using historical, real people in the content, you have to be very careful. Especially when it's biblical figures in history. Then you have to be insanely careful, and Dallas is not being as careful as one would hope. Because you don't want people who know nothing about Jesus to watch that show and have that expectation in their minds when they go to read the Bible. Jesus probably didn't talk like that, may not have looked like that, and may not have even smiled like that during His ministry here. But I've literally spoken with people who say things like if Jesus doesn't smile like Jonathan Roumie when they get to Heaven, "what's the point". That's dangerous. (And theologically the show is not sound.) I get taking creative liberties in order to make a television show more engaging for a modern audience, but not with the Bible. I get trying to make it easier to understand and follow for people who are just not brought up in the church and don't know the language. But I've decided for me, personally, not to continue watching The Chosen. For one thing, I don't want those actors/actresses in my head when I'm reading the Bible, and for another, I don't want to start being in a "fandom" for a show that's supposed to be portraying the events in the Bible. I don't want to start treating the Bible like it's fiction, like Peter's my blorbo (as the kids say), like it's just entertainment. It's not. It's real. It's all real, and I know me, and I know I have a tendency to over-romanticize the media I consume. I'm not going near that show with a 39-and-a-half foot pole anymore. It would be too easy to start thinking the wrong way about what I believe based on the way the show makes me feel. That, and I think the show is disrespectful and wrong. Great idea, good execution, went off the rails. And yeah, The Chosen is so good at making you feel things! I saw that first Season. I loved that first Season! Little ideas like having the Jesus-character laugh in bed while knowing exactly what the family of the lame man he cured is waking up to, literally able to see them rejoicing miles away? That's beautiful. When the Jesus-character cries with the woman at the well, and he tells her from now on it will all be about the heart, not about works? And she says "You promise?" And he cries and smiles and promises and she's so happy? That's beautiful. I cried too. And my favorite was the line when Mary says that before she met Jesus, "I was one way. And now I am completely different. And the thing that happened in between was Him." That's perfect. That's so good. That's what it's like, in three sentences. Excellent. Well done. Oh, and the music swelling at the end of each episode? Fantastic. Emotions everywhere. But like I said, I don't trust it. I got through about four episodes of Season 2 before I was like, okay, that's enough. This isn't good for me. Does that make sense? I could go into the discrepancies and how they often treat Jesus in the show as though He wasn't fully man and fully God (He was), and how they often make it seem like you can believe He was or He wasn't and it's all fine, when it's not all fine. But that would take a while! In a nutshell: I'm glad the creators had the right heart to start out with, and I'm pleased to see it proven that Christians can make excellent media, but not if it's like this, and I don't think the show should continue. If it does, I think they need to get their heads on straight and be super clear about the Truth, otherwise there's no point. I won't be watching it. Doesn't make you evil if you watch it! This is just what I think. Since you asked. Glad to hear from you! <3

#asked #answered #ask doverstar #doverstar's thoughts #the chosen #the chosen tv series #christianity #jesus #jesus christ #faith #dashdotdashdotdashdot #christian #jonathan roumie #dallas jenkins #christian tumblr #bible

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dogflyreligion · 1 year ago

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as much as i love saltburn (it's literally my favourite film) i just. am not a fan of the ending. not the dance scene but after felix dies it just goes downhill for me. i don't rlly like the delivery, and i'm not a fan of how it doesn't rlly fit in with the whole 'desire for felix' thing. to me it seems like half way through the writers decided to change ollie's motivations, as the first half he wants felix, but then the last half he wants the house and the power and the money. i wldve liked it a lot more if it was more of a love story, instead of focusing on class. i wld love to see how ollie is jealous of felix, as well as being in love with him, and still do all the fucked up stuff he does. but i don't like that he did it so he cld have saltburn. i think it shldve just stayed so that ollie has all these feelings for felix, and obviously he gets invited to saltburn, but not so that his goal is to get rid of the family and become the owner. i don't know what i wanted the ending to be rlly. i saw a post on here (i think) saying that it wld be interesting to see ollie kidnap felix, which i agree with somewhat. i'd still like it if he killed felix, something like from the poem 'My Last Duchess', which is referenced to in the film by ollie.

saying all this (which probably sounds a lot better in my head), everything else in the film is absolutely perfect. i wldnt change anything else. i love the cinematography, i love the colours, the overall aesthetic, the themes, i love the acting, i love the cast, the editing, the music, (most) of the story, and mainly the idea. but bc of how much i love this film, im willing to ignore the fact i'm not keen on the ending 😁😁😁😁

#this probably sounds a lot better in my head #feel free to ignore this #saltburn

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yamchaisawesome · 2 years ago

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What the fuck is Team Rocket’s position in the force? By Team Rocket here I specifically mean Meowth’s unit comprising of himself, Jessie, and James (yes he is their direct superior).

In their debut episode ‘Pokémon Emergency’ they seem to be elite mooks at the lowest. They’re actually very competent, taking over an entire Pokémon center in a major city by themselves, and Meowth is actually called Giovanni’s personal favourite. It’s even possible that their white outfits denote something like admin status in comparison to normal grunts.

After Pikachu takes them out the first time though, it’s all downhill. At first Giovanni assumes ash’s Pikachu is some kind of super Pokémon considering it defeated his top agents, and so sends team rocket on the mission to capture the darn rat. But then it just keeps happening. After a while he gets tired of it and decides to finally replace Meowth with a Persian as his personal lap Pokémon. By the end of the Indigo League Saga, even high ranking grunts like Butch and Cassidy seem to outrank them.

Odd thing is, they keep being sent on very high level missions. My favorite example of this is in the Unova Saga where they were literally sent there to set up a new branch of Team Rocket in the region. And for some bizarre reason up until recently they’ve still been chasing after Pikachu. Now what are our options here to explain this?

Option A: Team Rocket gets special treatment for background reasons.

There’s a bit of evidence for this one. Obviously we have Meowth who as far as Giovanni’s concerned is the only Pokémon that can talk and isn’t a literal god. Then we have James who is revealed pretty early on to be from a highly wealthy family, Giovanni probably knows this and even though James has no connection to the family’s wealth he’d probably figure out that they want James back to marry him off. Keeping James around as a bargaining chip when times get rough seems like a solid option. Meanwhile you have Jessie. Not gonna lie I’m kinda stumped with her. She doesn’t seem particularly skilled nor is her family rich in any capacity, girl literally had to eat snow for crying out loud. Maybe Meowth or James just liked her enough for Giovanni to put her on the team??

Option B: They serve as an example.

While they’re technically still high ranking, Giovanni keeps them around to send a message more than anything. At this point Giovanni 100% knows they cannot beat that stupid ass mouse and yet still makes them do it on the weekly. Why? To effectively torture them. Almost every episode they are nearly killed and humiliated. Why? To show other grunts what happens when you fail him. There are holes in this theory though, like how Team Rocket are still occasionally sent on genuine high value missions sometimes.

Option C: They didn’t actually get demoted that far/ actually got promoted

Sure Meowth lost his favourite status (which is debatable anyway) but aside from that and the taunting from Butch and Cassidy there aren’t many other signs that their rank is any lower now. It’s very possible Giovanni recognises their impressive skill in mechanics and disguises and simply doesn’t hire them for Pokémon capturing jobs anymore, and now Meowth and Co are really just doing it for the sport while their real job is covert operations such as the one in Unova. All the movies? They’re reporting all those legendary sightings to Giovanni ASAP. This is the funniest one and my personal favourite explanation.

These are just my ideas but what are yours? Please tell me I need to knoww.

#Pokémon #team rocket #Pokémon anime #Jessie #James #Meowth #giovanni

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almost-correct-quotes · 1 year ago

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lyrics that remind me of dion and kane / their plotline <3

if there's no character specified it's either about them together or the plotline in general

it's tumblr, so the colors are messed up but you get what im trying to do its supposed to be aesthetic

Dion: Turn and Go - {Parentheses}

When the night is turning sour Due to the lateness of the hour Doesn't mean it has to end Just turn and go You just need a change of scene Somewhere happy, somewhere green You don't have to be alone Just turn and go

I announce that I am leaving, no one seems to care No one even takes a second glance But I am with the people that I love the most And that's always more fun without a plan

Dion: Lying in the Middle - Spence Hood

Why should I make up my mind Just to change it overnight What a magnificent way to waste my time You know I would rather live my life Rife with riddles Lying in the middle of the Kinsey scale The world’s a buffet and I came to get my fill

Dion: Doing This Again! - Bears in Trees

I hope I'll be resilient I hope to be brave in the face of another family cancer My mother 'cites a rosary downstairs But lord, these blessed words fail me

Love Takes Time - Philip Labes

It takes more than some roses, for roots to intertwine To open up the doors to your interior design Sneaking in the baggage, that we couldn't leave behind

Saint Bernard - Lincoln

When I'm dead, I won't join their ranks 'Cause they are both holy and free (…) Make me love myself, so that I might love you Don't make me a liar, 'cause I swear to God When I said it, it was true

Paul Revere - Noah Kahan

One day, I'm gonna cut it clear Ride like Paul Revere And, when they ask me who I am I'll say, "I'm not from around here"

I'll leave before the road crew's out Before those joggers, looking way too proud And I'll turn up the music and I'll forget Until it ends, that I'm not ready to let go yet

How I Survived Bobby Mackey's Personal Hell - Lincoln

Well, if there’s one thing that I'm sure of It’s that I think too much about shit that doesn’t matter And I don’t think enough about things that make a difference

You left some holes in the plotline I left some holes in your clothes And we can argue semantics over who left who first

Dion: Downhill - Lincoln

I went downhill at such steep incline That my rearview mirror showed me only the sky And I laughed about it all night

And I said “Hey man, isn’t it poetic That the sky is what we leave behind?” Because I was born into the world on a silken cloud And I got bored of the world before I hit the ground

From Eden - Hozier

Idealism sits in prison, chivalry fell on his sword Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me, I should know

There's something broken about this But I might be hoping about this Oh, what a sin

Out of Time - Philip Labes

Tick, tick, tick goes any good thing Forever is a diamond lie We can't stop the clock, so let's just talk Until our heartbeats rhyme Until we're out of time (...) And if you believe that fate brought us together Then you must believe that it tore us apart But I do not believe That we live in a machine I think the ticking that you're hearing is a heart

Kane: Is It Honor That I Want? - Sushi Soucy (it's LITERALLY him. screaming)

I know the guidelines That I've lived by my whole life So well that I could sing them Be a good kid, be a good brother Be a good son, be a good loyal servant to the kingdom

Why am I so confused? I have everything I want Yet it feels like I have nothing left to lose Is the world really falling to pieces? Do we really have to iron out the creases? Have I been told my whole life something that isn't true? Because I really have no idea what to do

I curse the heavens up above Is it really honor that I want Or is it love?

The Title Track - Origami Angel

Sometimes it gets hard to be alive And you know that better than I do Better than I do Sometimes you need somewhere else to go Somewhere that nobody can find you No one will find you

But if you wanna be somewhere you don't have to be alone Or distraught or anything at all Baby, you don't have to be, pack all your things And we'll move to Somewhere City If you want to be someone that you never have to hide Or keep bottled up on the inside Baby, you can set it free, just come with me And I'll show you Somewhere City's waiting for you

Dion: Re-Do - Modern Baseball (i have to put mobo on every single playlist somewhere soz)

I wanna start from the top Maybe like a do-over Replace the voices in my head With blind innocence

I want a complete re-do Maybe change my name Report the losses, grab the claim "It's a shame, it's such a shame"

Kane: Stick Season - Noah Kahan

As you promised me that I was more than all the miles combined You must've had yourself a change of heart like halfway through the drive Because your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign Kept on drivin' straight and left our future to the right

#reverie audios #reverieaudios #reverie audios dion #reverie audios kane

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satancopilotsmytardis · 10 months ago

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Fuck yeah, demon Dabi!

I really like that he got adopted by a community willing to take care of him. I believe that people will always seek out community and I just adore this detail here. The fact that they find a starving child and take him in.

On another note, seeing a feral Dabi would be pretty hot, actually.

Oh, Dabi. He's starving himself for other's approval. He's hurting himself again. And sure, it's different, but is it really? He's hurting himself to prove that he is strong, that he should be taken seriously. My boy :(

"There's [describes how all of the LoV are very unhinged] and Magne" I love this line.

And the found family starts! Shigaraki doesn't want any of his crew to be in less than the best shape they could be in. I really like how you write him as a good boss.

He booked a room at La Venus. Yeah, I'm sure that won't lead to him running into Shigaraki at all. Totally.

And the lingerie shows up! Also, Dabi keeping money tucked away in all of your stories for worst-case scenarios is really nice. Especially since he uses them to help the League after AfO is arrested. It just adds to his character nicely, I think.

Ooooh, flustered Shig! We don't get to see that often. Also, uncomfortable conversation for the win when Shigaraki is very much attracted to Dabi and knows that Dabi can smell it. Lol.

"He isn't supposed to be nice, or god forbid, understanding." Dabi. Dabi, have you ever thought about the fact that you had to deal with the literal scum of society for so long that you have gotten used to being treated as less than human? Because Shig is treating you like a human (well, demon) right now and that is actually the bare minimum. Oh boy.

Dabi is jealous~

That other succubus obviously noticed how interested Shig is in Dabi and felt threatened because they have slept with him before (probably more than once?). Also, the fact that Shig is not at all interested in them while being very much interested in Dabi is amusing.

Shigaraki: "I am going to be professional about this and give Dabi some space so my presence won't make him uncomfortable." Dabi: "You want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid."

I wonder if Shig had the scent blockers installed before or after he met Dabi for the first time? Was it just a general idea to use scent blockers in his villain costume as to not get tracked down or did Giran tell him one of the people who want to get in contact is a Succubus and Shig tried to make sure Dabi won't be uncomfortable?

"What if I want to eat you tonight?" "What are your rates?" Shigaraki you are such a simp. "More than worth triple." Oh, do you also want to offer him your still-beating heart on a golden plate? Simp.

Of course Shigaraki would find a way to be sweet even high on venom. He would never want to hurt Dabi by accident.

I really enjoy how you write oral. I think those are some of my favourite fics from you.

Last third of the fic and things are going downhill fast. I'm guessing Dabi only managed to last two months because he was eating so regularly before. Oh, I wonder if the fact that he can't get his fill from anyone else has to do woth the fact that he called Shigaraki his mate? Nah, couldn't be it. Haha, immediately got confirmation for that one.

Okay, but that venom-turned-to-gas attack is cool as fuck. Also, Compress immediately asking to turn taht into marbles just shows how the League is used to having Dabi around. Compress is practical when it comes to stuff like this, he won't judge Dabi when this can be used to give them an advantage (not that he would judge Dabi otherwise, either).

The fact that Dabi has managed to go hungry for this long without going feral really speaks for his self control. I don't remember if you ever answered this, but do demons typically have quirks in this universe? What is the PLFs stance on succubi?

Oh, oh poor Dabi. He was hungry for so long and he tried so hard and he held on for so long. It's no surprise he's slipping. Though taking a chunk out of an already injured Shigaraki does seem counterproductive. Also, that injury is going to be difficult to explain. Especially if there are succubi around, or people who know enough about succubi to know about them going feral.

The abandonment issues are hitting hard again, aren't they? And Shigaraki is such a simp. He had Dabi take a bite out of him and all he can focus on is that Dabi was hurting.

Well, that's a twist. Interesting though! Also, the fact that Shigaraki just immediately ignores everything else to make Dabi feel good. My guy, you are missing part of your shoulder.

Ah, that was a sweet ending. Well, as sweet as you can get with these two. I wonder how the rest of the League reacted? They definitely noticed that Dabi was oit of it for a long time. And I imagine they took the time to read up on succubi, at least on the basics. Did they know he was starving?

Also, an immortal Shigaraki is terrifying, actually. Once heroes find out how he did that, I'm pretty sure they will use the fact that he "owns" Dabi to turn the public even more against him.

Thank you for the story!

Fuck yeah! A long comment!!

Dabi's daddy issues really take a backseat in this one, but they are absolutely still here being a driving force behind his actions in a way I don't even think he's capable of recognizing.

I truly believe that Magne is the most normal member of the League. Oh, she has 47 attempted murders and a temper? Yeah? So what? I would too if i had to deal with transphobia that far into the future while an anthropomorphic washing machine got to run around being one of the top heroes!

Shigaraki has definitely slept with Reo at least twice, however, even if he hadn't slept with Dabi that night, he never would have taken them to bed again. He does not like that Reo tried to stake their claim over him when as far as he was concerned, anything that happened before was just a transaction.

The scent blockers were a part of his costume since his debut! When there are heroes like Hound Dog, it's important to keep things like that covered. But Shigaraki didn't know they were just as effective on demons which is why he said he would be reporting that back to the doctor.

READ HIM FOR FILTH! Look, Shigaraki is so blunt already that I just think if he ever cared enough about something other than his goals, be that another person or just sex flat out, he would be incredibly blunt, earnest, and cringe about pursuing that as well. He does not have a subtle bone in his body.

So in this universe, full-blooded demons do not have quirks, but they do have innate magics and abilities that can sometimes mimic what humans think of as quirks and that can help them stand toe-to-toe with humans even after their evolution. I never had a good chance to bring this up in the Incubus!Shigaraki story, but in the first installment Dabi mentions that he told the rest of the League Decay was a mutation of his ability to eat lifeforce, however Shigaraki was not aware at that time, that was a lie. In actuality, he was born human with demonic blood in his ancestry, and when Decay activated as a child, he was scooped up by AFO who then had Ujiko do a lot of medical experimentation on him until the demon genes activated. From there they waited for him to hit puberty, knowing his memories would be fucked up and gaslighting him the entire time to make sure he thought he was a born demon, to see what kind he would end up being. The fact he ended up being something as weak and low-born as an incubus is why AFO treated him so poorly and encouraged him to starve/feed only on nightmares, since he had already put so much effort into Shigaraki and didn't want to waste him. The fact that Dabi very openly and blatantly has a quirk signals to the world he was human first.

The PLF is a very large organization so it would range from "not racist at all" to "extremely racist" concerning Dabi's and (to a lesser degree) Toga's heritage. In general, given his position in the organization, Dabi would not have to deal with the particularly racist members-- except Geten who, after the incident in Deika, and with his own family's obsession with 'blood purity' would be thoroughly disgusted by Dabi. He would still ask to be put on a squad with the popsicle though, because Dabi is used to that kind of treatment and he wants to keep a close eye on him to make sure he doesn't' ever try to start something.

Shigaraki continues to be a simp, but the fact that he ignored the bite and just kept fucking Dabi is 100% down to the venom. He couldn't have stopped even if he wanted to at that point, and he was just glad that Dabi didn't tear out a vein or artery.

The rest of the League would know they're dating, and kind of had their big reaction to that before the group headed to Deika, but no one else would be able to tell that Shigaraki owns Dabi now unless they tell them, or until it becomes very obvious that Shigaraki is not aging anymore, which he might actually continue to do until he's around 25 or so if the bond determines that's when he would be at his most physically healthy. Overall, I think that they would be happy for them, but be very confused about how in the fuck that works, because the succubi-granted immortality is a very well-kept secret in demon circles to avoid succubi being enslaved again.

So on that same note, the heroes would have no way of knowing what was going on between the two of them for a very, very long time. Especially if Shigaraki does naturally unlock the regeneration quirk of All For One, which would make the longevity Dabi is giving him and his healing look like one and the same. They would also have a theoretical eternity to do what they need to, even if Dabi has already decided he's not going to kill himself to kill Endeavor anymore. Now he gets to take the time and plan for a new revenge. (I'm thinking fighting Shoto and forcing him to use his flames until he accidentally turns into a demon too and forcing Enji to see his perfect prodigy is now a demonic race the whole world looks down on)

Thank you for the comment!

#I had to type this TWICE because the app crashed as I was trying to reply the first time :'(#tanco speaks #ask #asks

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serendertothesquad · 3 months ago

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Seren's Studies: Odd Squad UK -- "The Triangle Sisters" Episode Followup, Part 2

Part 2 of Oh God, I Have to Endure 11 Minutes of Stupid Pizza Gags, below the break!

Gay dramatics.

The only thing stopping me from declaring them to be in a relationship is the fact that they're sisters and likely by blood.

(But if they were just two villains who were friends...oh, I'd go all in on that.)

Not since Seattle Mr. O in Season 3 have I looked at a character and nodded and went "that is so obviously gay it's like shoving something in my eyeballs."

New headcanon: the writers went with "The Triangle Sisters" idea so they can avoid controversy by declaring them a couple who, on top of being gay, is biracial. There was a "can we make them a couple" idea that was bounced, but they saw all the news sites screaming and crying about the lesbian French bride wedding and instead of taking it in stride they took it as personally as if you told a child they suck at everything they do.

Headcanon accepted. It better come true before I lay in my casket.

Oh...wait...so is it the woman with the stick in her mouth? Or is it- okay it's a different woman. I think.

Her and Squidward clarinet faceoff when?

(It was either that, or "token straight person.")

Yeah...yeah...push the fact that you're sisters. IT WILL NOT ERASE THE INDIVIDUAL GAY.

...I'm starting to realize why Tasha hopped on board this episode.

Between the alliterative naming and the fact that she's trying to stuff a whole-ass family tree in 11 minutes, it speaks for itself.

Someone's gotta get Seattle Mr. O over here! Teach 'em how to do music right!

IT TOOK 'EM 10 YEARS TO MAKE A BADGE TRANSITION AHAHAHAHAAHAH.

takes a 15-minute nap

opal can take one in one minute

Skill issue, dude.

"there's nothing left to guard at the museum" YOU HAVE WANT IT NEED IT COOKIES. OTHER STRUCTURES. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DRUGGIN' OUT ON DUDE?????

SO SHE GIFTS HIM A FUCKING OLD-TIMEY CAMERA???????????????

Orli bruh what the fuck. Is Britain that seriously behind on technology that these cameras are still in existence, or is Tasha one hell of a boomer?

*long very deep sigh*

This is literally a Great Grinaldi rip but with gay triangle villains and pizza and security officers with integrity.

I went into this being sure there were NO STRAIGHT RIPS.

This is a straight rip.

Fuck you.

(Worst part is that I know the pizza is a Chekhov's Gun, but I still hate it anyway.)

Okay, saying "delicious" to Osgood's face while saying "yuck" to Orli's at the exact same volume makes no fucking sense, Ozzie.

Maybe if you spoke telepathically, but y'know...that's just me.

There are two more minutes of this episode, my damn legs got blown off, and I'm dragging the rest of my body through the rest of it.

All right, now I know what my problem is with this episode.

See, a lot of episodes have you on the edge of your seat, or at the very least, make you think you're in for a surprise. And you are, most of the time! And even when they're predictable, there are still funny moments that make you smile and realize the episode's not so bad.

This one is purely predictable, lacks anything funny, and has the only things of actual merit be two gay triangle villains, their two ambiguously LGBTQ+ sisters, and a security officer who's an idiot but knows where his priorities lie. There's nothing really holding me. There was, at the beginning, but then things went downhill from there.

And I hate it.

Oh, and this. This is funny. This has merit too. But it's not episode-saving.

Man I can't wait until Season 2! Odd Squad UK: Orli and Ozzie Join a Triangle Cult.

THE MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP PIZZA IS NOT A THING. STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT A FUCKING THING.

No one played the triangle. There was just the sound. Fuck you, lost cause, I'm going home.

And your credits for this episode. Featuring three of the four Triangle Sisters. Don't ask me where the other one went.

-------------------------------------------------------

Overall...well, I think my comments up above say plenty. But perhaps one of the more offensive things was the pizza gag. It wasn't funny, and "The Great Grinaldi" did it leagues better with Grinaldi himself. In 11 minutes, you could make a drinking game out of it and I'd have to get my stomach pumped.

Not even the gay triangle villains were enough to save this one. Great to see 'em, but I'd have much preferred if they weren't stuffed into an episode that was already doomed to fail when the first quarter ended.

Basically, if you want to see this episode done better...go watch "The Great Grinaldi". Smile. Laugh. Might be predictable, but Otto's obsession and Olive's pure exasperation is so fun to watch every time.

Next time will be the final episode of the first batch, "Miss Information". From there, it'll be a pretty short break from followups -- about a day or so, give or take -- until the rest of the episodes drop. Given how that episode has Captain O give a kid-friendly bird flip to the camera, I might enjoy this one.

Seren out!

#seren's studies #odd squad #odd squad pbs kids #odd squad uk

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chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago

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Y’all will be your own undoing the fact none of you have not even the slightest bit of doubt is rather worrying. what happens if neither is endgame and let’s say Mike is killed off? You can’t say that won’t happen either because you don’t know the same way you can’t say byler is endgame because you don’t know hell even milevens can’t say they’re ship is endgame because they don’t know. Ego is ruining both sides and neither side is correct and shouldn’t proclaim to be.

I'm sorry anon, but I'm not all bylers. While there are a great deal of bylers like myself who have less doubts these days, there are plenty that have mostly doubts. PLENTY. Arguably the vast majority. And for good reason, ie. history.

To be completely honest anon, I don't think you're worried about bylers and their lack of doubts. I think their lack of doubt scares you bc it's caused you to go from confident to having doubts yourself. Why else would you be here on anon all condescending otherwise?

Personally, I'm not even here bc I want to believe byler's endgame. And no offense to those that have went through it, because the whole point of queer-baiting is to basically mock queer fans and lead them on with no intention of following through, but I have never been queer-baited before.

I did however, like many milkvans, go into Stranger Things loving Mike and El under the assumption they were peak romance. I literally skipped all of s2 during my first rewatch to get to their reunion! But genuinely, do we think the show is supposed to be watched that way?? Hell no.

If you're having to skip all of s2, most of s3, most of s4 in rewatches, bc Mike and El are separated, fighting, or broken up, what does that tell you?

If you're having resentments for characters like Max and Lucas and Will and Hopper bc the story has made points to have those characters interfere with your confidence in Mike and El romantically, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're probably watching the show wrong. To be clear, if you have resentment for ANY of the main characters, you are missing something!!!

And that was my problem back then when I subscribed to these assumptions, because I WANTED to believe Mike and El were the pinnacle of romance, despite the signs incoming that went against it. And what that meant is I had to hold resentments for all the characters, including Mike and El themselves and even the Duffer Brothers for ruining what I WANTED to believe.

After s3, me, my friends, family and quite honestly anyone I spoke to about the show, said that it went downhill since the previous two seasons. And I do think a big part of the reason why, is because of the Mike and El conflict conflating everything. It felt regressive. And s4 repeating that exact storyline????

It took me a while to even consider byler as an idea. It's not like I latch onto every non-canon mlm ship and just ship for nothing (very few bylers do this, no matter how much anti's need to convince themselves this is the case as an excuse to be homophobic).

I am a hopeless romantic. Doesn't matter if it's queer or straight, I only ship stuff that I feel confident is endgame bc why would I put myself through scenes of something that doesn't feel right to me, merely bc I want to believe it and despite everything pointing against it??

Full serious, IF I was confident in milkvan endgame as a possibility, I would probably just convince myself to like them and provide evidence supporting it, bc I would honestly rather be right? Who tf wants to be wrong?

The problem was it didn't matter if I was initially convinced Mike and El were the pinnacle of romance (I was a child okay, give me a break...). Once I let go of that assumption because of all the doubts I had of them piling up, and took off my heteronormative goggles, I went woah... Holy shit. This show is actually fucking epic. Doubts gone. And the rest is history.

So, what happens if neither is endgame and Mike's killed off? I guess I would be confused, especially because the Duffer's specifically mentioned not being able to kill off Mike in a podcast last year. They gave their reasoning as to why, being that they take deaths on their show very seriously, needing 1+ seasons for them to show the characters mourning the loss. And so ending the show on that exact note, would be kind of a spoiler since they brought it up specifically? Therefore kind of redundant?

I guess, sue me for thinking the Duffers care about the show and put a lot of meaning into it. All of my analysis and theories are based on that assumption. No one's going to change how I think about that, so trust me, not worth getting worked up over it, anon.

If your evidence is all based on the assumption that the Duffers are not that good of writers, that almost everything on the show is coincidental and there's no deeper meaning beyond surface level, why are you even watching it in the first place? You do you I guess, but I just don't know why you wouldn't want to watch something that is more worth your time?

People being confident in their theories wont hurt you. If it bothers you so much, maybe find a way to be confident with your theories after looking at all the evidence from both sides. All sides. Any sides. If you still come up completely indifferent, then don't work yourself up by going on anon and making it other peoples' problem.

If it turns out everything meant nothing, and I was wrong about everything or most of what I interpreted, I will be okay! Because the show went from being about what I wanted to believe, to just what I genuinely believed.

Would I be disappointed? Sure. But lets hope I'm right bc in my scenario the show is epic and everything means something... not sure why anyone would root for the alt...

#byler #ask #queer-baiting is messed up #but I don't think anyone arguing against byler all condescendingly cares about queer-bait #antis are out here depending on queerbait to feel confident in their take on things #if you're just an honest person and have been through queer-bait and are trying to warn ppl who you view as yourself in a way #i sympathize with that #i get it #but there's seriously no reason to target people directly and complain about how their lack of doubt irritates you #like lets get a grip #this is a tv show #if this was a straight ship ya'll would not be out here getting so angry over this and talking all condescending #that's what it comes down to #if you're not homophobic #if you're not holding onto the idea of milkvan bc it's what you want to believe #if you are willing to actually look at all the evidence #instead of just speaking about it like it's an atrocity without actually giving it the time of day #then you'd be a lot closer to the truth about a lot of things on the show #unfortunately a lot of fans have to convince themselves nothing means anything to subscribe to milkvan endgame #and bc of that there's a lot of stuff that they missed #again #if there was enough evidence supporting milkvan #i would find a way to make it work in my brain and focus on the evidence #it's just unfortunate that a majority of their scenes works as the strongest evidence against them

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foreveralwaysanauthor · 2 years ago

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Eleanor, when you posted your list of ideas, I was so excited to see that I'm not the only one who has an incredibly long list of ideas that may or may not ever see the light of day and I really wanted to share mine. I originally had no intention of posting mine, but as this is the 8th anniversary of me starting this little fantasy world and my 12th writing anniversary is coming up, I figured I might as well use this as a sort of anniversary post as well. Because I am absolutely obsessed with✨details✨ some things on this list have gone a bit overboard from their intended little snippets, but I'm not entirely sure you'd mind that lmao. Now, without further ado, here is my list!

Story Concepts:

Now, some of these have a future as I plan to write the first two if I can find the time and, possibly, some others as I love the concepts. Most of these are AUs, but there are a few sequels I really want to work on that have made the list. There is one that is just a concept and won't go any further than what I have for reasons I'll explain further and it should be very easy to tell which one.

Idea 1: Life Is Strange AU

This game has been on my radar for literal years now and I’m only just coming up with ideas for it, but since I know the series fairly well, things are piecing together fairly well. The games are, essentially, played episode by episode where each choice you make in the game, impacts the rest of the story. It’s like the butterfly effect - a butterfly flaps its wings in Hawaii and a hurricane starts halfway across the world. Every choice matters. I am only using the first and last of the main games and the prologue of the first game. In the first game, you control time as a high school student. In the prologue for that, you play as a pair of unlikely friends who discover that one of them doesn’t have as perfect of a life as the other assumed. Then, in the third, you play as a young woman who can see and manipulate emotions. Now that that’s established, I’ll give a bit of a summary of my ideas, all of which are set in modern times.

In the first story, the Murphy family moves from Myrtle Beach to Sanbornton, New Hampshire so that Royce can attend the prestigious Oakwood Academy - a private high school specializing in Arts and Science. At this school, he befriends Riven, an upperclassman in his photography class who constantly encourages him to turn in a photograph for a national competition to earn himself a scholarship to the university of his choosing. One day, after school, he meets with his brothers at the diner downtown and all but collides with a familiar face he hadn’t seen in years - his former best friend, Vivien. After a rather awkward conversation, the pair takes a picture with Royce’s camera and part ways, only to be brought back together when Royce saves Vivien from one of the rich pricks from his school who decides to bring a gun into the alleyway behind the diner. The two decide to finally talk things over at Vivien’s typical haunt and he finds out that, since Vivien’s family moved to New Hampshire so she could attend Oakwood, things have only gone downhill for her. Her father was killed in a car accident, her mother remarried to some asshole who works as a security guard at Oakwood, and to make matters worse, the person she was closest to went missing and nobody has seen or heard from her in months. Now, on top of juggling schoolwork and normal life, Royce has to worry about potential kidnappings, strange weather occurrences, and, of yeah, the fact that he can now go back in time through the Polaroid pictures he takes so often.

While there is quite a bit more to go over for that one, I think I’ll move on to the second story, where we find that Royce isn’t the only person in town with abilities. In this one, we have Miles and Carrie, an unlikely pair who know they have at least one thing in common; they both want to get the hell out of Sanbornton. Miles only knows Carrie from the posters slapped on every telephone pole, advertising the next big musical in town while Carrie knows Miles as the guy she paid to fix up her convertible’s malfunctioning roof. In the few hours they spend talking while he works on her car, the two grow inexplicably close and bond over a fondness for a certain band he plays over the shop radio. On a whim one day, Carrie shows up at Miles’ shop and they decide to skip town the next day, hitching a ride on a freight train that takes them out of town to a lookout point a while north of Sanbornton. After a while of goofing off and enjoying each other's company, they decide to make up storylines about people they see with one of the viewfinders at the top of the hill. Some fun stories are concocted before Carrie, who becomes upset with what she sees through the lens, insists that she and Miles get out of there as she wants to get drunk. They steal a bottle of wine from a couple’s picnic basket while they’re away and follow the train tracks back to Sanbornton. Along the way, Miles confronts Carrie about her change in mood. After arguing about why Miles is so interested, the quarrel comes to a head when Carrie discloses that she witnessed her boyfriend cheating on her with the girl who is supposed to be her understudy in the upcoming play. She shows him a picture of the three of them and, as her emotions get the better of her, the photograph ignites in her hand, fluttering to the ground in burning embers as they both stare in shock at what happened. They find a secluded place to talk things over and, after realizing her newfound abilities must be related to her emotions, Carrie begins worrying about how she’s supposed to act on stage if she’ll only end up setting everything around her on fire. Eventually, Miles calms her down and they decide to meet up the next day to see if they can find a way for her to control it throughout her time on stage. I haven’t totally figured out an ending to this other than Miles getting roped into being in the show to replace the guy Carrie was dating as, once she breaks up with him, he gets physical and breaks a part of the set, getting himself fired. Anyway, that’s as far as I got with the second one.

The third is, perhaps, my least thought-through, but here we go. Kona is new to town, having moved in with her dad in his apartment above his arcade after years of moving around with her mom. Unlike the other stories, Kona was born with her abilities - getting used to seeing colorful emotions around people and hearing the thoughts that come along with them at a young age, but not being able to control how she processes the emotions that hit her like a brick wall. Bentley is a regular at the arcade, using whatever allowance he gets to buy as many tokens as he can. The two bond at the prize counter, but when a particularly unruly, older kid from their school comes in and tries to rough up Bentley over his purchase of the last, limited-edition comic book at the prize counter, Kona’s emotions “snap”, sending a wave of the boy’s own anger his way and sending the older boy slamming into one of the machines. Understandably, Kona and Bentley are confused by this revelation as Bentley didn’t know Kona had abilities and Kona didn’t know she was capable of something like that. After a fairly long discussion where she shows Bentley how her abilities work, she discovers that she can piece together why someone feels the way they do - if it’s a strong enough emotion - and can help them sort through their feelings for a better outcome. They begin to work together, helping people around town with their mental and emotional struggles, but will it become too much for Kona to bear as she takes on everyone else’s problems and ignores her own? I suppose you’ll just have to find out… if I ever get around to writing this out lol

Idea 2: Titanic AU

Now, this one is definitely not surprising as I adore the RMS Titanic as much as (if not more than) Vivien and, as far as the story goes, it could go one of two ways. One is set back in April of 1912 and goes through everything almost like the movie combined with all of the historical accuracies I can add into the equation, and the other is set in modern times and will make sense when I write it out. The first version is the one-shot-turned-story I was going to write for Carrie's birthday before I realized just how long it would be and that it would, most likely, end up being more than one part (just like the ship... yeah, I'll see myself out lol).

Version 1 is easily explained as the roles of Jack and Rose are played by none other than Miles and Carrie, with a bit of a twist. After the death of her parents, Mrs. Murphy takes her three sons and, with a portion of what inheritance was left after her husband began wasting it away, books four tickets aboard the Titanic in the hopes of starting anew in America. The tickets are in third class, but they can’t bring themselves to care as they’re simply ready to start a new life. Carrie follows Rose’s story pretty closely in the beginning - a loveless engagement planned only for financial gain, overbearing parents keeping a tight reign on her, and the faint urge to throw herself overboard once the ship is far enough from land that nobody will be able to save her. Then, as she and her young maid, Vivien, are overlooking the ocean from a higher deck on the ship’s departing day, Carrie follows Vivien’s gaze to a group of three young men a deck lower than them; one of whom can’t seem to take his eyes off of her. One night, Carrie dismisses Vivien after dinner and takes off for the back of the ship to escape the overwhelming pressure that’s been piling atop her for ages now. Miles, ever the night owl, watches her from a bench, only approaching her once she steps onto the lowest rung of the ship’s railings, and, though Carrie claims she has no real desire to pitch herself from the back of the ship, he still treats her as though she might. Eventually, he offers her a drink and an unbiased opinion, and the pair talk late into the night. Miles walks her as far as he is allowed to go and the pair go their separate ways once Carrie invites Miles and his family to dinner the next night as thanks for lending an ear and talking with her, which he politely declines. Not one to be swayed, Carrie sends Vivien to the general room in third class, instructing her to find Miles and his family and bring them to her. Finding all eyes are on her upon her arrival, Vivien meekly squeaks out who she has come to see and is relieved to watch Miles step forward from a table where he and Bentley had been drawing. Despite Miles telling her to simply pass on a message of thanks, Vivien is persistent and, ultimately, Mrs. Murphy steps in, listens to what Viv has to say, and accepts the invitation. The family is given some proper attire for the night thanks to another traveling family whom Carrie’s family has close ties with - the Bandoni family - and they have dinner as upper-class citizens. Once the evening has died down, Miles invites Carrie - and, in turn, Vivien - to a party the third-class passengers are throwing in the general room. The story carries out mostly the same as the movie, but there are some, distinct differences in the end like who would survive and who would end up going down with the ship.

Version 2 is one that I had a dream about and ended up sort of intertwined with the Titanic-based Magic Tree House book that I read as a child. Basically, Vivien drags Royce to a traveling Titanic exhibit. Upon their arrival, they receive boarding passes that bear the names of the passenger they would be and are permitted to explore as they please. After a while of looking around, they stop at an exhibit of photographs taken aboard the ship. To their amazement, they find a photograph of a young newlywed couple who bear a striking resemblance to themselves, standing by the railing on the 10th of April - the day the Titanic left Southampton for the beginning of her maiden voyage. They flag down one of the managers and explain the situation before asking if they could maybe see the picture up close. The person takes them to a back room before bringing in the photograph and some gloves for them to hold it with. They set it down on the table as Royce and Vivien put their gloves on and go to turn on the air conditioning as the summer heat isn’t good for the old picture and the wind sends the picture flying. Royce and Vivien catch the picture and carefully examine it to make sure it looks alright before looking up, only to find that they’re staring at an old-timey camera perched on a stand near the railing of none other than the ship of dreams itself. That’s right, they’re now aboard the RMS Titanic as she sails her fated maiden voyage! Now they not only have to figure out how to get back home before the ship sinks, but they also have to play the role of a young, First-Class couple on their honeymoon trip to America. Can they keep up appearances and find a way home before the iceberg scrapes the ship or will they be caught in the fray of one of the world’s biggest maritime disasters? Honestly, even I don’t know the answer yet, so I suppose we’ll find out someday haha!

Idea 3: WandaVision AU

When my sister allowed me to borrow her Disney+ account a while ago, my first mission was WandaVision. Needless to say, I fell in love with the concept of a new decade every episode and felt as though it suited some of our characters in a way that needs a lot of explaining in order for any of it to make sense. I don’t know if you’ve seen this show yet, but the basic concept is that, in Avengers: Infinity War, Wanda (also known as Scarlet Witch) loses her long-term, android boyfriend, Vision, in battle. A while after the battle, she travels to a small town called Westview where the two of them planned to move, build a home together, and grow old. Consumed by grief and rage over the life she'd lost in her time as a hero, Wanda's mental state sort of breaks, and her chaos magic powers activate around her, creating a pocket reality that engulfs all of Westview. Though she didn't realize it at first, Wanda transformed Westview into a completely altered bubble that was formed by her love of sitcoms, which she'd always turned to in times of difficulty. With her chaos magic, she also created an entire alternate version of Vision completely from her memories of him, inadvertently casting him in the role of her sitcom husband. Comforted by the world she'd created, Wanda began living a sitcom life in Westview, still unaware of what she'd done, moving from decade to decade as though nothing were different.

You’ve probably pieced together who would be who here, but I have a few different versions to offer. 1 - Mick and Butchy, 2 - Royce and Vivien, 3 - Carrie and Miles, or 4 - Mrs. Murphy, Miles, Royce, and Bentley. For Mick and Butchy, think about how intense she was when he was in his accident ages ago. That rage could fuel magic any day. Carrie and Miles' story could be very similar to Butchy and Mick's as I feel like they have this connection that isn't easily explained and that their love goes a lot deeper than either of them might realize. If one of them were to die, what lengths would the other go to in order to bring them back? Royce and Vivien have a strong relationship as well despite being young and, while Royce is typically calm and collected, he worries quite a bit for Vivien’s safety as she ventures through abandoned buildings, explores places she probably shouldn’t, and gets into more trouble than he ever wants her to. If he were to lose her in some sort of freak accident, would that be enough to cause something in him to snap like that? Potentially, I think. Now, putting aside the romance and looking toward the family dynamic, we have the Murphy family. What hurts more than a mother losing her children? Imagine the normally easy-going, caring, Mrs. Murphy - the mom to everyone around her - absolutely losing her shit because all three of her sons died in the same battle. That would certainly be something emotional enough to fuel some serious chaos magic. Honestly, I just want to write more about her and I feel like a nice, sitcom-esque story would be a perfect opportunity to get a feel for her personality over the years.

Idea 4: Grease AU

While I’m sure this isn’t a total surprise as I’ve mentioned it before, I want to explain how I see it, especially after finishing Rise of the Pink Ladies and gleaning several ideas from there.

This AU is a bit different as we find Mick and Vivien as the new girls in town - sisters with opposing interests. Mick, who spends every minute at school trying to break out of the shy mold she left at her old high school, and Vivien who just wants to blend into the background and survive junior high without making waves. Things don’t go quite as planned as both girls find themselves at the epicenter of rumors not even a week into the school year. According to the gossip, Mick was seen under the bleachers with the leader of the T-Birds, and Vivien was spotted kicking a boy in the family jewels. While neither girl can deny these claims as they are technically true, the statements were twisted. Although Vivien begins to like her reputation as a fearsome fighter and leans into the rumors, adding that she only did it to protect a kid in her class and that she would be more than willing to do it again to anyone who dared pick on the people around her, Mick tries to clear her name with the help of the T-Bird she’d been spotted with, hoping others would believe that she had, in fact, been under the bleachers with a T-Bird, but that she was trying to give him something he had left at her dad’s workshop and they had a conversation, end of discussion. Despite her pleas to rid herself of her nickname as the local floozy, Mick can’t shake the rumors, but once she inadvertently helps one of the girls who had been spreading the rumors, the word on the street begins to ebb. The two girls form an odd friendship despite the helpful T-Bird and most of his friends warning her to steer clear of the blonde and her penchant for ruining reputations with her good girl act. Despite the accusations against her new friend, Mick stays by her and, at a sleepover, the cheerleader confides in Mick that she is in a secret relationship with one of the T-Birds that started over the summer. Though her friend doesn’t divulge which one, Mick soon discovers exactly who it is as Vivien and her two friends get out of school early one Friday and head to the high school parking lot to wait for their rides, only to see the head cheerleader with the T-Birds’ second-in-command locking lips by the greaser’s Fleetmaster. So, yeah, a lot of drama would come with this one.

Idea 5: Percy Jackson AU

I’ve tried writing Percy Jackson stories before and, let’s just say, it didn’t go well. You will, however, see some nods to this in upcoming chapters of Camp Wanamaker. This AU is something I’ve thought of for literal years (think 2016-17), but have no true storyline other than who would be the child of which Greek god. I can’t simply follow one of the books without dissolving into the next and, where there are so many books, I don’t think this would ever actually happen. This is something that my niece, Lorali, and nephew, Erek, actually requested at different times as their classes were reading the books in school, and I tried to figure everything out, but nothing ever came of it. Honestly, I don’t think I’ll ever work on this as it would be too much to take on. For now, though, I’ll simply give you my list of who I think belongs where and, if the time ever comes for me to write this out, we’ll go from there.

Miles, Royce, and Bentley - Sons of Apollo (most specialize in various forms of art, poetry, archery, or music, almost all of them have the ability to heal others and can tell how bad the injury is just by looking at it, a rare few can control light and fire, even rarer is the ability to glow, and some can use music to win battles like a siren calling sailors to their deaths)

Mick - Daughter of Hephaestus (skillful engineers and craftsmen, they can instinctively detect, identify, and operate any piece of machinery, and some even have control of fire, lava, and volcanoes)

Carrie, Tanner, and Juliet - Children of Aphrodite (possess intense love magic, have greater clarity and sharper focus than most, have the ability to change appearance at will, and can alter people’s thoughts/influence them by simply speaking - otherwise known as charm-speaking)

Vivien - Daughter of Athena (masters at invention, architecture, and strategy - especially in battle - their knowledge is unmatched, and some have great skills with weaponry even without prior mastery of the weapon of their choice)

Kona - Daughter of Poseidon (can create and control hurricanes, earthquakes, and water, can communicate telepathically with sea life, some are mildly able to control ice, wind, electricity, and cold, they heal quickly if they’re in any type of water, and a very rare few can manipulate blood as it contains water)

Butchy and Lela - Children of Zeus (natural leaders in every sense, are immensely brave and strong, most, if not all, can control electricity/lightning, and some can control air to be able to fly if they practice)

Xander - Son of Ares (combat specialists, masters of weapons, are typically stereotyped as being complete assholes, and can possess invincibility if they spent a lot of time in battle)

Idea 6: True Colors (Through The Valley sequel)

Now, I absolutely adored writing the first story, but ever since I was able to play the second game and watch the HBO show, I've fallen more in love with the story and its concepts. A sequel for this would be far bigger scale - throwing more characters into the fray and holding very little back as, if I learned anything from the show, it's sometimes okay to kill off favorite characters to show the gravity of their situation. Just a reminder, Riven never existed in this universe and, while I have a perfect place for him, I don't want to go into too much detail.

This sequel would have a bit of a time jump and we would see some of our favorite characters in a different light as rival groups come out of the woodwork with only one thing on their mind - revenge. While we would also see budding friendships and romance, we also see some of our favorite relationships torn apart. I do feel like this would be a good way to really throw caution to the wind and see some of our favorite people fight in ways we've never seen them. In this universe, it's not always the infected you have to worry about; other people are just as scary.

I would probably focus on the second game's plot here - a story of revenge fueled by love. We would witness our first death fairly early on as one character kills another as atonement for their previous sins. One of our favorite characters would barge in during the fight, only to be taken captive by the assailant's friends. Witnessing the death of a loved one is traumatic and, with every intention of killing the people who dared to hurt their loved one, the witness gathers themself and takes off on a hunt to get revenge on the person who wronged them. Finding themselves in an entirely new area with unknown threats around every corner, will they be able to make it out alive? Better yet, will they be able to make it out with their sanity?

Honestly, I'm not even sure. For the time being, I have a set of characters lined up and know who would be playing whom, but would have a lot further to go before I felt comfortable writing anything out. I am excited about it though and hope to someday feel ready enough to get something done for it. Until then, here is the actual trailer for the game as it holds quite a few hints at what's to come and who our set of characters could be. It is a bit gory which makes sense, given the universe we're in, but I wanted to warn you all the same. Anyway, the characters' appearances, the song choice, the subtle intensity, and the words they say to each other are very intentional and will make a bigger impact once I finally have this story ready to go. Every little detail matters. One word, in particular, may strike a certain chord in you and leave you guessing, but that's all I'll say for now.

Idea 7: In Comma Coriyama (Magicae Maxima sequel)

This was originally the name for Magicae Maxima, but, obviously, I chose differently. Now, I'm not sure if you could tell with the ending surrounding Serena, but I had every intention of making a sequel where she would continue being the possessed one like Mick had.

At first, Royce, Vivien, and Bentley would have no idea as she's always pretty bitchy at school and they're sort of busy helping at Mick's store and training their magic to see much of a difference. Having family around to help them grow as young mages is helping them become stronger and more capable of protecting themselves. In turn, Serena is growing more and more used to being possessed by the dark magic and, although she barely has control of her own body, she is still conscious and can see the effect the possession is having as it chips away at her relationships and targets the people she was closest to. When the possessed Serena, in a moment of freedom, begs Vivien for help after class, the brunette realizes something must be up and goes looking for answers.

Obviously, this isn't all I have, but I might be working on this for the spooky season, so I'm keeping things vague!

Headcanons:

I have a long list that is still looming both on my phone and in my notebooks, but it will take me time to get them all here, so for now, this is all I have lol.

This may or may not come as a little bit of a shock, but Mick and Vivien are distantly related. Mick’s family in New Hampshire is huge and, while they don’t know they’re related, they’re actually cousins. Mick’s great-aunt was married to Vivien’s great-uncle and they moved down to Texas long before the girls were even born, let alone before they met.

Growing up, Bentley was always upset with being compared to his brothers academically and, when Royce noticed this, his paintings stopped and his sketches practically disappeared. He wanted Bentley to feel special about something and, now that art is Bentley’s “thing” Royce refuses to so much as touch a crayon unless Bentley asks him to. He’d rather stick with photography.

Riven taught Vivien drums so she could join his band and she taught him Morse code so they could talk to each other in skating meetings without having to say a word.

Mick tried to lighten her hair when she was thirteen so that she could look more like her dad, but the bottle of Sun-In that she used only served to turn her orange until they could get it fixed at the salon.

Vivien got a perm once and was mad that she looked like a poodle, but then Carrie pointed out that she looked like one of the girls in an 80s movie and she was alright with it after that. When it faded, she had no intention of getting it back, but still curls her hair from time to time because she misses the bounciness of the curls.

Carrie, Mick, and Vivien have a game they play to see who can fluster their boys the fastest. Over time, Butchy became accustomed to it and flipped the situation back on Mick more often than not. Miles has his moments of clarity with Carrie and can occasionally fight fire with fire, but they’re few and far between. Royce, on the other hand, is almost always taken aback by Vivien’s advances as she switches things up on him all the time.

Kona taught herself how to swear in three different languages so that she could say things around her family without getting caught. Her languages of choice were German, Japanese, and French, which made things more than a bit awkward when she found out the Murphys could understand what she was saying.

Bentley has the weirdest tastes. He loves bananas, but hates banana bread. Can’t stand oranges or grapes, but likes them as flavors in soda or snow cones. One of the ones everyone gets a kick out of is that he doesn’t like strawberries, but enjoys strawberry ice cream.

Vivien found out she was claustrophobic while in a mirror maze at the town carnival. She was with Riven and his dad at the time and Riven practically carried her out of the maze. They both swore they would never speak of it again, but Riven still teases her about it now and then.

Kona is a completely unique form of chaos and molds perfectly with the Troublemaker Trio. While Royce is organized chaos, Vivien is adventurous chaos, and Bentley is creative chaos, Kona is a sort of unhinged chaos. This girl holds nothing back and will not hesitate to be absolutely insane. In my mind, they’re almost like the Penguins of Madagascar. Royce is Kowalski, Vivien is Skipper, Bentley is Private, and Kona is 100% Rico.

Mick and Bentley wander off a lot in crowded areas (the mall, carnivals, concerts) and have been told by some of the others that, if they keep things up, they’ll be forced to wear one of those toddler leashes. Bentley doesn't give a shit and dares them to try, so they do. It wasn't his proudest moment, but he didn't exactly care, either.

Miles doesn’t really care for cake. It’s just not his thing. He’ll eat it, sure, but he prefers ice cream or, even better, ice cream cake. The only time he willingly eats cake is when someone in the family, especially one of the kids, makes some as he doesn’t want them to feel bad about him not trying some.

Vivien has a habit of getting people addicted to things she enjoys. One time, she unintentionally got Butchy and Miles hooked on a very specific brand of energy drink that she has to order online and get shipped to her house, so every time a shipment comes in, she goes to the cabin, bursts in like the Kool-Aid man, and yells, “I’ve got the drugs!” at the top of her lungs. The same thing happened when they went to the mall and she made Carrie try a Japanese soda (Ramune) that they now have to order in bulk because everyone keeps stealing them from the fridge. The one thing Viv is adamant she’s keeping to herself is her rootbeer-flavored popsicles because they’re incredibly hard to find and the only shop that has them, orders an entire box just for her at the start of every month.

Before the swear jar mysteriously disappeared, Bentley, Royce, and Vivien would find ways to cuss around the others without getting in trouble. At the mall, they would chant out the name of a certain sporting goods store (Dick’s) or when they went for walks and passed the local dam, they constantly made dam jokes. They found ways around things and even the ones who tried to get them to stop had to give them props for creativity.

I’ve kind of had this headcanon where, when Carrie or Mick get pregnant, Miles and Butchy get bizarre cravings for them. While all the girls want is chicken alfredo or cheddar broccoli soup, their men are craving peanut butter and pickle sandwiches, bananas slathered in maple syrup, and ice cream decorated with chocolate-covered pickles. Even though Carrie and Mick think all of Miles and Butchy’s random concoctions are absolutely disgusting, the guys can’t seem to get enough. For some reason, almost all of the cravings disappear once the babies are born, but some still stick around though the girls wonder if their interest in the foods is still genuine or if they’re just doing it for fun.

I had a headcanon for a while that I never really worked with as I found it sort of pointless as time went on, but I figured I should share it now that it’s developed into something different entirely. I had this idea that, after a while of thinking things over, Miles would talk with his Uncle Tommy about potentially adopting the boys. At first, it would have been Miles adopting them and then it became Tommy taking them in, but that didn’t really work in my head, so I scrapped it for a while. Now, my working headcanon is that Miles stays in close contact with Tommy and sends him things about himself and the boys like their big achievements, their grades, and their friends. If Tommy were to visit at some point, he wouldn’t be all that surprised to meet Carrie, Mick, Vivien, Kona, or the rest of the group and would be at ease going through town as though he’d been there before. I feel like Uncle Tommy would be their way of reconnecting with their mom’s side of the family and he’d be more than willing to travel the 7½ hours-long drive to see them.

Musicals:

I had to shorten this list as I was running a bit short on time, but I'll add more later if it lets me.

Hello Dolly - I've already told you about this one, but the point still stands. I absolutely adore this musical. The thought of Miles as Cornelius and Carrie as Irene Molloy - a rich, self-made woman and a shopkeeper from a poorer background who fall in love despite everything around them - just makes me so happy.

Hadestown - I don't know if you've seen this one, but, to summarize, this is the love story of Orpheus and Eurydice - a story I absolutely adore. The story, the music, the ending, everything in this musical just screams of love and pain and there are so many ways this could go! Mostly, I could see Miles and Carrie playing a really good Orpheus and Eurydice while Butchy and Mick (or Xander and Juliet) take on Hades and Persephone, but the ideas are endless!

Chicago - This one is just for fun as I love the show, but just think of Carrie or Juliet as Roxie and Mick as Velma. The two of them vie for the top spot in the papers and fight for the publicity that their respective crimes give them, but both are unwilling to work together to gain popularity in the press. It’s just a fun little idea that I like playing with.

The Lightning Thief - This is only because I could see Bentley finding out this musical exists, listening to it all the time, and singing it as often as possible. With how much he liked the books, it feels only natural that he’d enjoy this just as much.

High School Musical on Stage! - This is simply because I feel like this would be absolutely epic. I mean, come on! How could it be any better than this? Carrie as Sharpay, Tanner as Ryan, Mick as Gabriella, Butchy as Troy, and Miles as Zeke - I could go on for ages about how insanely cool that would be! Honestly, I just love High School Musical and would love to see our characters in a show like that.

Songs:

Not all of these are on my summer writing or inspiration playlists, but the vibes are there and I want to write something for all of them at some point or another! I will be adding more later, but for today, this is all I have.

Killer Queen - Honestly, I listened to this around Halloween time last year and was soooo tempted to write a vampire-ish story with Vivien, Carrie, Kona, and Mick in this little coven of killers, but nothing ever came of it. I had a plan for it to be this sort of small-town, murder-mystery-type story with the girls working with the Murphy brothers and Butchy (the town police department’s newest officer) to solve some murders in the area, only for it to be discovered in the end that the murderers were the girls all along and they were just leaving a trail of bodies for the boys to discover, eventually leading them to their deaths. I still have a sort of plan to work on this sometime, but it's just not at the forefront just yet as I think it needs a bit more work.

Crash My Car - I stand by this song being a song Miles relates to as he falls in love with Carrie, but before they’re together. I’ve paid a lot of attention to the lyrics themselves and I feel like they sort of cover Miles’ thoughts as it shows the way he goes from feeling like he has no chance with Carrie and wanting nothing more than to disappear for even thinking he would, to wanting to make a move, but not being confident enough to, to resigning to his fate and wanting nothing more than for her to be happy, even if it breaks his heart in the process. I just feel like, despite the song being fun and energetic, the lyrics tell the story quite well.

Lizzy McAlpine: I have a few songs that come to mind for different scenarios, but not all of them make the most sense, so I’ll put the ones that sort of do.

Pancakes for Dinner - This could be for a few different couples, honestly. My first instinct is either Royce and Vivien or Mick and Butchy. It’s essentially just an admission of things stuck in the person’s head, spilling out ideas that they’ve thought of before, but been too shy to say out loud, but I just really like the idea of one of them writing it out in the early stages of their relationships or even before they get together and are just friends, wanting more and the other finding it at some point later on in the relationship and either confronting them or singing it to them.

reckless driving - This is a song for Juliet and Xander which is ironic as I hardly ever write them anymore, but I feel like this could be the tragic end to their story if she let him take her on a drive after breaking up with him. I mean, the contrast between her side of the story and his, the steadily growing intensity, and the back and forth between the two before the eventual sudden end of the song - it feels like Xander and Juliet. His obsession could get them killed if they aren’t careful and, in this song, that’s exactly what it does.

ceilings - Now, this one is something I’ve been mostly picturing for my novel version of the story, but I’ll tell you how I see it anyway. Mick and Butchy (his name is different in the novel for copyright reasons 😣) have taken an interest in each other, but Mick holds back her feelings as she knows that the world Butchy is from is nothing more than a pocket of time still stuck in what was once a 1960s sitcom. As much as she loves him, she can’t admit her feelings for him as she knows they live completely different lives. More than once during her stay in the nearby town of St. Pete Beach, he drives her home and, with each drive, she grows more and more fond of him before, eventually, he kisses her. That night, she realizes that, although she couldn’t be happier, he isn’t real. He’s nothing more than pixels on a screen and, sooner or later, she’ll have to leave with her family to return to California.

Selena Gomez: I love Selena Gomez and some of her songs just bring me through different scenarios that just appear out of thin air lol

People You Know - This is another Juliet song, but instead of entirely revolving around her relationship with Xander, it also represents her friendships with the others in The Sparx group. When she broke things off with him, they all kept their distance from her so as to not anger Xander more. She lost all of the people she was closest to in a matter of moments - hence the song.

Bad Liar - Tell me this isn’t another Miles and Carrie song. I mean, come on! It could definitely be something from before they get together, but regardless of that, they definitely share this song. Miles has the first verse - “I was walking down the street the other day, trying to distract myself, but then I see your face” and “Call me an amenity even if it’s in my dreams” are all him! Carrie takes the second verse as it reads almost as though she’s watching him at first and allowing thoughts of being something more to come through - “I see how your attention build; it’s like looking in a mirror” and “Paint my kiss across your chest. If you’re the art, I’ll be the brush.” Honestly, this song just reads as the tense, in-between stage where they’re friends, but they both want something more than that, but won’t say it, let alone admit it.

Florence +The Machine:

The Dog Days Are Over - This one is one I can see for a few different places. I always use the chorus as motivation to run (for obvious reasons lmao) and I can see it working well during a relay race at the end of Camp Wanamaker where each cabin has to work together to make it from one end of camp to the flagpole at the main office. Some more chaotic versions of this song are in dangerous situations (like in Through the Valley where they're running from infected), but I think having it be a light, fun scene is more entertaining as of right now.

Swimming - This is probably one of the songs I most associate with a mermaid/siren story, but it can also work fairly well for other things. I guess it just screams mermaid to me as I spent most of my time watching H2O as a kid.

ABBA: Boy are there a lot of these, but I'll narrow it down a bit.

Voulez-Vous - As if I needed more motivation for a story I already wrote a sequel for, here's another song that makes me feel like writing a prequel to Glory and Gore/Scattered Screams. This is a song that drives me to want to write about how Mack and Brady won their Hunger Games as well as how they fell in love and, honestly, if I wasn't already knee-deep in other stories, I just might!

Waterloo - Originally the title for How History Repeats Itself, this song has been on my list for ages mostly for the line "The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself." I just really like the song and the lyrics could play a big part in a story at some point, if things go the way I hope they do!

Dancing Queen - This one just always makes me dance and I feel like this song is what Vivien would have blasted for her seventeenth birthday. Tell me Carrie wouldn't drag her up on stage or something and make her sing along with her and make sure that she has the time of her life!

Angeleyes - This one I can't go into too much detail as I might have plans for this song in Camp Wanamaker. I'm not sure about it yet, but I might. Just know that I love this song and have every intention of making this one hurt!

TikToks:

I don't have a lot of TikToks to put here just yet as I usually scroll Pinterest when I get the chance, but I do have a few that I thought would be fun.

This is how Royce prom-poses to Viv, don't bother telling me otherwise as I just won't accept it. Obviously, there would be a few changes, but the premise remains the same as I think it's just too epic to pass up.

This fits two different scenarios, in my head. One is the Murphy brothers and the other is when Miles moves in with Butchy and Lela. They discover this and have fun for hours.

Tell me Vivien and Riven don't do tricks like this on the ice all the time when Royce is around just to give him a heart attack each time.

Vivien does covers of songs like this in her room all the time when she's not practicing with the band and, while they don't exactly go viral or anything, she just enjoys posting her having fun on the drums.

This is Vivien with Miles. Tell me otherwise.

If Bentley ever cat-sat for Royce while he was on a trip for school or something, this would be the video he would send him to show him that the cat owns the house now. Royce would, in turn, send this to Vivien, asking her if he should be concerned.

After hours upon hours of listening to ABBA in the car with both her mom and Aunt Vivien, they begin to hear a tiny voice in the backseat and, one day, they catch this on the way to the mall for a girl's day. A few years later, when Butchy's driving Maisie, Leilana, and Milo (his and Mick's kids) to the playground for the afternoon, he catches them singing along to the radio in the backseat sort of like this and realizes he might have fucked up.

Also, as a final little thing here, I get a lot of my baking ideas from B. Dylan Hollis. This one is actually a snack I get every summer at the carnival and in my hometown at a seasonal restaurant as they make the best deep-fried candy in the world! My personal favorite is deep-fried peanut butter cups, but it's the same concept.

Adding this in here as I forgot to before, but you can’t tell me this isn’t their family game night. I have seen this family a lot on my fyp and I can totally imagine the gang getting up to this kind of chaos. The whole gang would be there and, somehow, Riven convinces them to play Cards Against Humanity. Regardless of who has which card and who has to read all of the answer cards, Butchy would be the dad in every scenario, 100%! I feel like the goal of the game would be to consistently give the most uncomfortable answers to Butchy to see how long it would take for him to make them put the game away.

Anyway, that's it for today! I am off to visit my great-aunt and grab something for dinner before getting back to work on Camp Wanamaker since I wanted to make sure I finished this post today lmao. I hope you have amazing rest of your day! All the love! 💕

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the-kipsabian · 1 year ago

Text

just wanted to say thank you to everyone for today, i love you all 💜

im putting the rest under a read more, in case you wanna stop reading here, but um. trigger warning for suicidal thoughts

i tried writing this yesterday but it didnt come out right, but after dealing double with these emotions and then some today it feels like i can finally kinda put things into words that maybe make sense

i guess everythings just kinda hitting me very hard right now cause ive been 31 for four hours now and its just. in my brain right now that i didnt think i'd see this day honestly. like i had doubts about this even as lately as earlier this week. literally two days ago. so its kinda like. very mixed feelings. ive been thinking a lot about how i dont deserve this, deserve to be here, that im taking this space away from someone else. i dont know why, but its just how ive been viewing my existence lately

this year has been rough to say the least. yes i know ive had some incredible ups as well, but rarely have i felt like i deserved them in the end for one reason or another. ive struggled immensely, ive been going a steady downhill since the change of the year with no idea how to change it or when to change it. its been incredibly taxing mentally, and im just.. idk. oftentimes its just very overwhelming as youve probably noticed

it all just kinda came together today, with the previous thoughts as well as being largely ignored by my family today. like i know im very low contact with most of them, but when you have two people completely forget you and one only talking about themselves and asking when youre going to give them grandkids and start a family "since youre old now" it just.. sucks a lot. ofc this is beautifully balanced out by every friend thats been so wonderful today (literally had one busy friend jump into a voice call with us earlier just to tell me he remembered my birthday like... it means so much honestly) but. yeah. idk it just makes me feel like im at the age now where since i dont have life figured out im very useless and not worth their attention and..

i dont know what life brings these next 365 days. i really dont. all i can hope that it brings something that lets me keep going. its a tough topic for me to talk and think about rn but i feel like its better for me at this point to bring these out either way cause.. for whatever reason and somehow im still here. the fact that i saw through the entire day when i turned 31 just feels very significant right now. knowing i passed another safe point makes me feel safer tonight, no matter how much ive cried both good and bad tears tonight

thats all i think. just.. just wanted to get this out. i love you all, thank you for existing in my phone even if i dont talk to like anyone regularly cause im so mentally exhausted by just having thoughts on the regular its really hard for me. thank you 💜

#night is an absolute mess on main

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callipraxia · 1 year ago

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Debating who should get the #5 slot proved surprisingly difficult…but here we go.

1. Infinitesimal Variations: What would have happened if Stan hadn’t escaped from federal custody when he did during “Not What He Seems”? Answer: Ford and Soos go try to rescue him, Agent Powers interviews a witness and realizes he’s missing an important piece of the puzzle, and Dipper, Mabel, and Tate McGucket learn many things that disturb them. It then mostly goes downhill for everyone from there. 15 chapters, proceeding sequels of 21 chapters and 26 chapters.

This was the first real, deliberately plotted out, novel I ever wrote. It’s the first part of a trilogy, and Part III is probably better in a lot of ways - I had almost two years of working on the overall project under my belt, and a much clearer vision of what I was trying to do, than I did while writing Part I - but…Part I was the first, and the one that showed me I really could start something and finish it, and I made some friends in the comments sections, and it will always have a strong claim on my affections for that. The original twelve chapters (I recently revised and expanded it to clear up some points that were confusing) were also 61,000-odd words written in less than two months, the most intense writing experience I think I have ever had in my life. So yeah, go read it and its sequels! Unless you already have…in which case, re-read ‘em! lol.

2. The Earth Never Tires. Dipper comes home after a long time away, and Ford and Mabel talk about death and the afterlife. Two chapters.

This one could have just as easily been number 3; I just bumped it up one because it seemed to sort of slip under the radar when it was released, and I was rather proud of it, and so I shall jump on this socially sanctioned occasion to plug it.

3. The Player of Games. While Ford is in a coma in Dimension 52, he meets a gratingly cheerful salamander god which shows him visions of the best of all possible futures. Ford isn’t very happy about what he sees. Meanwhile, said salamander (the Axolotl), along with talking to Ford, juggles different timelines, relations with other higher powers, and its ongoing issues with its family. 5 chapters.

This one is a lot of things. I’m proud of it because it’s probably my most ambitious experiment in form and mythology-building; I also find the writing quite effective when I reread, so it may be one of my best pieces overall, along with being the first and arguably last, to date, time I really dealt with Ax in any detail. However, it’s also quite possibly the darkest and most disturbing thing I ever wrote, so…proceed with some caution, especially with chapters two and four.

4. Everything’s Fine - Pass That Wine? Nathan and Jennifer Pines have always been proud of their daughter Mabel’s creativity…but as her first summer away from home goes on, they gradually grow more and more concerned about all the stories of “science fiction weirdness” she is surely making up and not really living through. Where is she getting these ideas? Why isn’t she telling them what’s really happening? Why is Dipper playing along so much? Luckily, though, wine is an ever-helpful friend in times of trouble…at least until Nathan’s uncle Stan crashes a boat into their rhododendrons. One-shot.

Aka, that time I did a funny! This has the best read-to-kudos ratio of anything I’ve written. I wasn’t even aiming for a comedy piece when I started writing it, and was very nervous about “what if I think something is funny and literally nobody agrees?” Now if I could just remember how to write straight-up humor, rather than just sometimes weaving it in with tragedy and brain-bending….

5. The Long Lie: Four Scenes in Three Decades. Stan refuses to give up on the idea that he can someday reunite his family, and that then, everything will go back to the way it was when he was a kid. As a result, he lies to his parents until they die…to his other brother until he dies…and finally, right up until the day when a wax statue forces him to confront the possibility of failure. One-shot.

This was my second fic, and an attempt to make up events that would allow the success of the twin switch to make sense (since my sole contact with the fandom before I started writing involved reading the GF TVTropes pages, I was completely unaware of all the different theories of Shermie). In the process, I conducted my first sort of attempt to play with the short story form, and also - between faking indifference to his mother’s feelings about his own death, dealing with his idiot kid brother getting some girl pregnant in high school, and then dealing with Filbrick dying in a tragic automobile accident that leaves Caryn severely disabled - put Stan through the absolute wringer in less than 6000 words. I also think there’s some of my better writing here even if one never remotely considered the possibility of Young Shermie (after joining the fandom and learning about the theories, I am, for the record, officially a Shermie agnostic. Call him into existence with the Infinity Die for all I care, as long as you explore the consequences enough to hurt me along the way)

And honorable mention: Be All Our Sins Remembered, my very first GF fanfic and the closest thing I have yet come to pure fluff. One-shot about Ford showing Stan the ruins of the Portal after Stan expresses curiosity about the weird scar on his shoulder that looks like a crop circle.

Well, that was fun! Other writers…hm. @the-orion-scribe, @car9723-t, @zephrunsimperium…I need to figure out how many of my mutuals are definitely also writers, as opposed to strictly artists (though I’d argue comics count as both) or canon enthusiasts.

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

As much as I dislike chain letters, I do enjoy trying to hock my fics to an unsuspecting audience.

1. The Wrong Stan-an AU where during Weirdmageddon, Bill captures Stan instead of Ford

2. Return Backwards to the Past Again 4-time travel AU where homeless Stan meets two strange young people who say they want to hire him for transportation to a little town in Oregon

3. Island of the Lost-another AU (there’s a recurring pattern here) where instead of taking the car after getting kicked out, Stan takes the boat

4. Two Worlds, One Family-Crossover AU(!)-a recently divorced Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz accidentally brings a recently kicked out Stan Pines forward in time, and the end result has the potential to work out surprisingly well for both of them

5. One Rainy Night-the beginning of my most ambitious AU ever, where a flip of a coin and a conversation with an old woman make all the difference in the world in changing the Pines twins’ future

@elishevart @guardianoflightanddarkness @darylstorey @orangeoctopi7 @ramblesanddragons

#gravity falls #gravity falls fic #gravity falls fandom #gravity falls fanfiction #gravity falls au

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dbnightingale24 · 3 years ago

Text

A Disaster From The Start

Ransom One Shot

I have to apologize now because no one wanted or asked for this. My brain truly never shuts up, and this the one the one shot I said was coming MONTHS ago. I don’t know why I’m like this, but I hope you all enjoy it! This is SO much longer than it should’ve ever been, but I there’s just so much I couldn’t leave out. Thank you so much to @maroonsunrise83 for this amazing moodboard!! I am so in love with it!! Without further ado, here's the novel y’all never asked for and I hope you all enjoy!!

Word Count: 31,694 ( I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THIS)

Warnings: 18+, MINORS DNI (I WILL PERSONALLY CALL YOUR PARENTS), smut, public sex, swearing, drinking, smoking, cheating, drama, angst, heartbreak, arguing, anger, Daddy kink, crying (so much crying), dub-con, unprotected sex, lying, family drama...I’m sure I missed something, enjoy it though!

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter:

Heart Shaped Box - Nirvana

Trouble Sleeping - Corine Bailey Rae

Used To Like Neon Trees

Wild Side - Normani

Far More - The Honorary Title

He Can Only Hold Her - Amy Winehouse

Summary: Ransom was just supposed to be a good time; nothing more and nothing less, but when he becomes the painful center of your universe and heart...how do you stop?

I do not consent to gave any of my works/stories posted elsewhere.

You sit on your bed and read your book, while the Nirvana’s ‘Heart-Shaped Box’ offers you a much welcomed background noise. You can barely focus but you’ll do literally anything to forget that he’s in your parent’s mansion. It had almost been two years since you two have been fucking and sneaking around and you hate yourself for it. You didn’t even want it initially, and now it feels impossible to stop. When you let yourself be honest with yourself (and only yourself), you know he’s the reason you come home for Winter and Summer break.

Your dad works for wealthy business people and helps them keep their finances in order, which is how you ended up meeting him in first place. Your father had worked so well with Harlan over the years that he recommended your father to Linda.

Insert Ransom Drysdale.

You weren’t surprised that he and your father hit it off so well; they’re the same type of scum bag. Sure, your father loves you, but he’s barely ever around, parties way too much for a man of his age, and cheats on your mother whenever he gets bored (which is more often than not). Your mother? She has a steady cocktail of pills and alcohol to keep her numb and able to at least stay upright. Yes, Ransom fit perfectly into the life your father had created for himself, which meant you wanted to stay as far away from him as possible.

However, it was a disaster from the start. The moment your father first introduced him to you two Springs ago at one of his business parties, you should’ve been able to tell that it would all go downhill.

“There you are, Sweetheart!” your father exclaimed as he saw you making your way around the pool.

“Yes, here I am and now I’m leaving,” you replied, annoyed.

As usual, a majority of his friends, clients, and coworkers were ogling you and making it very known that they were imagining doing filthy things to you.

“What? No! The party is in full swing!”

“I know, mom is in a trance having a wonderful time. You two enjoy, I’m leaving.”

“Well, where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Out where?”

“Out with a friend. Can you not? I’m not a fucking child.”

“Then stop acting like one and tell me where you’re going!”

“Jesus Christ! I’m going out with Sam!” you exclaimed, finally losing your patience.

“I fucking hate that girl.”

“Which is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you. I’ll see you later.”

“You can’t stay longer? You’re only gonna be home for a few more days and I want-”

“Well you should’ve thought about that before you decided to have one of your parties. This party was your idea, with your friends, your clients, and your associates. All of whom I hate. So yeah, I’m leaving.”

“You like Harlan,” your father pointed out, a small smile on his face as if he were proving a point.

“Well, he isn’t here, now is he?” you sighed, crossing your arms. You hated when he did this shit.

“He’s not but his grandson is. Y/N, meet-”

“I know all about Hugh Drysdale,” you muttered, looking over the painfully attractive Playboy asshole. He had fucked a few of your friends and treated them like complete shit. Plus, it wasn’t lost on you that your father was spending all his free time with him, doing God knows what. “I’m not impressed if that’s what you were trying to do. I’m going and I’ll be back later,” you simply dismissed before walking away as your father opened his mouth to say something.

Ransom stayed exactly where he was, smug smirk tugging at his lips, so you had no choice to brush against him as you walked by. You rolled your eyes before looking over the hedges and seeing that your Jeep was blocked in. “Can you tell whichever one of your dickhead buddies that owns the Beamer to move it? It’s blocking me in,” you asked your father, turning to face him once you were on the top step to get back inside.

“That’s my Beamer,” Ransom smiled coyly.

“Great for you. Get it out of my way,” you smiled sarcastically before going inside.

You should’ve known then. That was the moment he decided to make you his prey. He wanted you because you wanted absolutely nothing to do with him and Ransom loved a challenge. Especially if the challenge was a beautiful young woman.

He was still at your parent’s mansion when you got back that night.

You parked your Jeep and said a silent prayer of thanks to whoever was listening. You never drink and drive, but you weren’t aware of just how drunk you were until it was too late. Once you were out, you took a out a cigarette and leaned against your truck before lighting it. You weren’t a serious smoker, but you always had a burning desire for one when you were hammered.

“Those things will kill you, ya know,” a voice came from the shadows.

You turned to see Ransom approaching you, his own cigarette in hand, and scoffed. “You’re one to talk. All the shit you and my dad put in your bodies. It’s a wonder the both of you aren’t dead now. Especially him,” you slur a little.

“Is that why you hate me? You think I’m bad influence on your dad? The one who’s older?”

“I don’t hate you, I just want nothing to do with you. Also, I know you’re not influencing him, but it’s not like you’re helping him.”

“You say you don’t hate me, but it’s not like you were the most welcoming when we first met.”

“I have a feeling you’ll be just fine.”

“Go out with me,” he all but ordered you and you had to laugh. “What?”

“Why the fuck would I go out with you? Why should I go out with you?”

“Can’t hurt anything. You’ll get free food and mind blowing sex-”

“I’m sorry,” laughed “what the hell makes you think I’ll be fucking you?”

“Because you want to fuck me and I wanna fuck you.”

“Yeah, I’m not drunk enough for that shit, Drysdale.”

“Who said you’d be drunk?”

“Uh huh, as entertaining as this conversation hasn’t been,” you chuckled before taking a final drag of your cigarette and putting it out “I’m going inside.”

“Go out with me,” he repeated, annoyance making an appearance.

“Go home,” you laughed, making your way up the steps.

“Y/N-”

“The answer is no, Ransom. I’m not gonna be another notch in your bedpost that you treat like shit and shit talk about to all your friends. Now go on, you’re starting to be creepy.”

“You’ll see,” he smirked before turning and getting into his Beamer.

It’s not like he was wrong. You did wanna fuck him, but your pride and working brain wouldn’t allow it. Ransom was bad news and you had no need to put yourself through any of that. You had seen all the pain your friends had gone through and you weren’t about to sign yourself up for any of that.

You should’ve listened that night, but of course you didn’t. Because why would you? Why wouldn’t you believe that he would be bold enough to go after you? A majority of the guys your father works with or is friends with feel the same way, but they’d never be that stupid.

But Ransom was different.

For starters, he was bold enough to bring it up. Also, unbeknownst to you, he had been watching for a while. You’re the only reason he started hanging out with your father. He saw you a while back, you had just started university not too long ago, and he knew from the moment he saw you that he needed to be inside you. Him fucking your friends? That was just something to hold him over until the time was right.

After the talk you two had that night, Ransom found a way to be at your parent’s place almost every day until you left again. Waiting, watching, and planning.

If you had known what was in store for the both of you, you would’ve tried harder to stay away from him.

“What are you doing here?” Ransom asked, walking up to you in the nightclub you were trying to lose yourself in. You didn’t miss the way his eyes roamed over you, drinking in your curves.

“The same thing you are. I’m trying to get laid,” you responded nonchalantly, taking a sip of your drink.

“How many of those have you had?”

“What are you? The fucking police?”

“Hey Sweetheart, I’m just looking out for you. Your father is right over there,” he smirked, nodding in the other direction.

You look over to see him all over a woman who can’t be much older than you, in fact, she’s probably younger than you. “For fucks sake, can’t he just stay home with my mother just once?”

“You can’t say you’re all that surprised.”

“Doesn’t stop it from making it all that much more disappointing and pathetic,” you muttered, downing the rest of your drink.

“Let’s get you home.”

“What? No!”

“The chances of you getting laid now are slim to none cause you’re just gonna find an issue with every guy who approaches you. I’ve been around you long enough,” he stated matter-of-factly.

You hated that he was right. Whenever you were mad at your father, you were angry with all men. “I can take myself home.”

“Yeah I know, but you look hot as fuck and I don’t want you getting in some random guy’s car.”

“Since when do you give a fuck?”

“Since I’m pretty sure your father sees me over here and will kill me if anything happens to you,” he smirked, once again pointing to your father who had his full attention on the both of you.

“Christ on a bike-great, he’s coming over. I should’ve just stayed inside like I planned.”

“And then I would’ve missed this,” he smirked as your father approached the two of you.

“Sunshine, what are you-?”

“Save it, I’m going home,” you muttered, grabbing your purse.

“It’s not what it looks like-”

“It’s exactly what it looks like,” you interrupted, rolling your eyes. “You can’t play this shit off cause you’ve been caught in the fucking act. Just let it go. Ransom, I’ll be waiting for you outside. If you’re not there in 5 minutes, I’m getting a car service,” you huffed before making your way out.

Ransom was out in 2 minutes.

“Thanks for setting me up like that,” he snapped.

“You’re the one who offered me a ride home,” you shrugged.

“Come on, smart-ass.”

The car ride was mainly quiet, with you looking out the window. You didn’t recognize the way Ransom was taking you, but you didn’t think anything of it.

“You really shouldn’t give a fuck about what your parents do,” Ransom finally said, turning onto some dark street.

“No offense, but I think I’ll take advice on family from literally anyone other than you.”

“Ah, but you should be taking advice on family from me. Cause from one fucked up child to another, it’s stupid to get worked up over people who can’t see their faults and won’t change.”

“It seems to be that you’re encouraging my father’s toxic behavior, so why should I listen to you?”

“He’s an adult, Y/N. The choices he makes are his own, I merely encourage him to have his fun when it covers my own bad habits.”

“Of course,” you dryly laughed as he pulled into the driveway of a house you had never seen before. “What the fuck?”

“We’re gonna have some fun of our own tonight,” he stated simply, shutting off his car.

“This isn’t funny, Ransom. Take me home.”

“So what? You can wait for your whore of a father to come home? You can take care of your drugged up mother? We both need to clearly blow off some steam-”

“What I decide to do is my choice!” you quickly snap. “Take me home, now!”

“No, I’m going to fuck you until you’re completely ruined. I’m gonna fuck you and you’re gonna love it, because I know you’ve been dreaming of it.”

“Fuck you!” you yell, getting out of car and slamming the door shut. Who the fuck did he think he was? You made it maybe four steps before his arm was around your waist and he pulled you close to him. “Ransom, I swear to God that I will scream bloody murder until-”

“Scream as loud as you want, Doll. There’s no one for miles around,” he smirked against your ear, before grinding himself against you so you could feel his hard on, on your ass. “All of this is just getting me worked up, baby. You decide how you want it to go.”

“I’ll tell the cops-”

“Tell them what? That you were bouncing up and down on my cock all night? Begging me to fill your pussy with my cum? Go ahead, I’m sure they’d love to hear it,” he practically growled against your ear before taking a quick nip at it. “You’re not as coy as you think you are. I’ve seen you watching me, the way you bite your lip when you’ve had too much to drink and you see me talking to your dad. I know you’ve fantasized about me fucking you into daybreak. Wishing I was fucking you instead of your friends, haven’t you?” he questioned, hiking your dress up a little bit before running his hand lightly along the inside of your thigh. You couldn’t stop the moan that left your mouth. “Oh? Sounds like someone’s changing her tune?”

“Fuck you,” you spat, still trying to resist him.

“What’s the harm, Y/N? We both get we want out of this.”

“So you can run and tell your friends about how you finally fucked me? So I can be the new “bitch in heat” they shit talk? No thanks!”

“Can’t talk to my friends without your dad hearing, now can I?” he questioned as his hand slid down your panties. “Give in. We can fight this all night, but we both know what the end result will be.”

Two fingers applied pressure to your clit and a whimper escaped your lips. “Ransom...stop!”

“No,” he growled “I’ve been patient enough and you’ve kept up this stupid little charade long enough. Give in to what we both want.”

“I don’t want this,” you protested as your eyes shut and you leaned back into him.

“Your pussy is letting me know you’re lying, Princess.”

“Fuck,” your whimpered softly.

Somewhere in the middle of you debating whether to give into him or knee him in the balls, he removed his fingers and pinned you against his car, before forcing your legs around his waist. “This will stay just between us, Princess,” he husked out, lips only a few inches from yours.

And just like that, you crumbled. Maybe it was because you had wanted to fuck him for a while, or maybe it was the alcohol running through your system, but no matter how terrible he treated your friends, they all agreed that he was the best fuck they’d ever had. Maybe it was because part of you wanted your dad to find out, so he’d be so furious he’d never want to see Ransom, which meant you’d never have to see him again. Or maybe you really just needed to get fucked, seeing as it had been while. Like you told him earlier that night: it was the only reason you came out that night.

Somehow, he had gotten to the front door of his house and unlocked it almost instantly, quickly pinning you against it before slamming it shut. You kicked off your shoes as he toed his own off, leading you both upstairs. When the both of you reached his room, he put down and quickly broke away, untying the little bow that was keeping your upper half covered, exposing yourself to him.

“Fuck,” he moaned “knew you were gorgeous under those clothes, but...fuck.”

“Strip, now,” you breathlessly commanded, unstrapping the lower half of your dress, completely naked in front of him.

“That’s your underwear?” he questioned, looking at the slim and flimsy black material that barely concealed you from him, a small smile played on his lips as he quickly stepped out of his own pants and boxers.

“I told you my plan for tonight. Did you think I was joking?”

“Oh no,” he chuckled “just from what I heard-”

“Let me guess, Tommy mouthed off?”

“He said you don’t do blowjobs.”

“No, I didn’t give him a blowjob. One trick pony minute-men don’t deserve blowjobs.”

“And me?” he questioned, stroking himself in his hand.

“A big cock doesn’t mean you deserve a blowjob, honey,” you laughed, biting your lip. He was definitely bigger than you imagined.

Ransom quickly ripped his shirt off and threw it to the ground, before laying back on the bed, “get up here, Princess.”

You wasted no time climbing up his body, before reversing your position on his face so you were looking down at his cock while you positioned yourself on his face. Almost instantly, he had an arm wrapped around your waist and was pulling you down on his mouth, loving how you fought against him for relief.

“Fuck!” you moan, his tongue assaulting your clit as you placed your hands on his stomach, grinding yourself against him. “Shit Ransom!” you mewled, digging your nails deep into his thighs.

Ransom placed one of his hands between thighs and let his fingers replace his tongue, and used it to fuck you. You clenched your eyes shut, letting yourself forget how much you hated Ransom and everything he represented. He could get you off so easily and it had you believing that he did have the right to be such a dick to everyone.

In a matter of moments, he had you pawing at the bed, yelling his name as your release washed over you. When you were able to get yourself together (which was almost impossible because he wouldn’t let up), you stroked him a few times before taking him into your mouth. That earned a hard smack on the ass. As Ransom’s pace started to quicken, so did yours. For reasons you couldn’t understand at the time, you wanted him to cum hard your mouth. You needed it. However, Ransom wasn’t about to let you get your way.

He smacked your ass hard again, before loosening his grip. The whine that left your mouth made him chuckle. He laid back on the bed, fucking you with two fingers, before removing them and sliding them into your ass. “Ransom!” you hissed, getting your mouth off of him almost instantly.

“Gonna have to kidnap you again, Princess,” he taunted, fucking your ass faster, “I definitely want my cock inside this perfect ass.”

“You better take what you want tonight, Ransom,” you growled as you sat up “this won’t be happening again.”

“Sure Princess, whatever you say,” he chuckled, and you could tell there was a smug smile on his face. “Get this wet cunt on my cock, now,” he commanded.

You were too blissed out to say anything smug back.

You quickly changed your position him, settling yourself right above his cock. You stroked him a few times before finally sinking yourself down on him. You both let out a moan at that.

“I knew you would be a good little whore for me,” he smirked as you placed both your hands on his chest, slowly grinding down on him as you tried to get used to the way he stretched out your walls. He really was as big as your friends described.

“Fucking bastard,” you muttered, looking him in the eyes as you started to pick up the pace.

“Yeah, but I’m the fucking bastard who’s gonna destroy this little pussy, aren’t I?” he moaned, taking your face in his hands. When you didn’t answer, he slapped you, hard. “Fucking answer me!”

“Yes! Fuck, yes!” you mewled, getting closer and closer to release and started riding him as fast you could. His cock easily reach that spot deep inside you that had you coming undone for him. “Asshole!”

“That’s right baby, bring yourself off on my cock. I want this perfect little pussy to explode all over me,” he grunted, gripping your hips and starting to upthrust, hard.

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK! RIGHT THERE RANSOM!” you screamed, hitting your orgasm so hard you could’ve sworn you saw stars for a moment.

Ransom was kind enough to give a moment to get yourself, and you thought it a shame that, that would be the only time you’d experience him. If Ransom wasn’t...well, Ransom, you would’ve been more than happy to sleep over. Happy to have him over and over again. However, the fact remained that you had just in fact fucked Ransom, and you needed to leave before he got the wrong idea.

When you started to get off of him, Ransom quickly placed his hands on your thighs and gripped them tightly. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going?”

“Home,” you sighed, too tired and in no mood to argue.

“Oh sweetie, you think you can just get yourself off and leave? That’s a little fucking selfish, don’t you think?” he questioned, slowly staring to upthrust again while still holding you in place.

“I need to get home-”

“Sorry, that’s not how this works. I’m gonna fuck you until I’m sick of you,” he grinned darkly, starting to pick up his pace. “Besides,” he chuckled breathlessly, “you’re the one who told me to take what I wanted, and Sweetheart, I’m just getting started.”

Ransom fucked you until you were both exhausted that night. Fucking you in each whole, before tying you up and watching you whimper and beg underneath him, only cumming deep inside you when he saw your wrists starting to darken from the ropes as you pulled against them, desperately needing to get your hands on any part of him.

You didn’t even remember falling asleep, but when you woke up, Ransom wasn’t in bed. You ordered a car service and quickly got yourself together. When you heard the horn honk outside, you made your way downstairs hoping to leave without seeing Ransom. However, he was standing in his study, shirtless (you truly hated how gorgeous he was), and on the phone. He gave you a quick nod and you awkwardly made your way out.

And that was the end of it....at least, that was supposed to be the end of it.

Two days later you received a text from a number you didn’t recognize.

‘Come over.’

‘Who is this?’

‘The owner of the cock you were bouncing up and down on two nights ago.’

‘Go away, Ransom’

‘Aw, don’t be cruel. From the way you were screaming and begging, I thought you had a great time.’

‘I did and now it’s over. I told you it was a one time only deal’

‘You actually meant that?’

‘Yes? Why would I...one and done, Ransom. Bye.’

‘Not bye, come over.’

‘What part of what I just said confused you?’

‘Come over here or I’m coming to you.’

‘What the hell? You can’t come over here! Just go out and screw some girl in a bar.’

‘I did and I’m not satisfied. Haven’t been satisfied since I was inside you...every part of you’

That instantly had your pussy throbbing with desperation. ‘Well, that sounds tragic. Goodbye Ransom’

‘Again, get your tight ass over here, or I’m coming over there’

‘This conversation is over.’

‘See you in 15, make sure you’re wearing nothing.’

Ransom was at your parents place in 10 minutes and decided to climb up the trellis to your room. You barely got a chance to shout at him before his mouth and hands were on you. Resisting him was pointless because your body betrayed you at every chance, because it missed him. The reactions he could get out of you, the choked cries he made escape from your mouth, the way he controlled you...all of it.

So, that’s when you decided to give in and just fuck him for the rest of the summer, because why not? You needed the release and Ransom was desperate to give it to you. You both had a clear understanding that it was just sex. He’d leave your place as soon as it was over and you were more than happy to leave his place when all was said and done.

It was just to take the edge off from dealing with your parents. Every midday hookup, desperate plea for him destroy you, your need to have him fill up some part of you that desperately needed to feel something other than frustration and anger...it was just to take the edge off.

Which is why when you returned to University for the Fall semester, you left a week early. You needed time away from everyone and school was the perfect opportunity for that.

Everything was fine for the first month, maybe 2 months, before there was a...shift.

‘What are you doing tonight?’

‘Go away, Ransom’

‘You know you miss me.’

‘IF I miss anything, it’s the sex. You are a still a complete and total dick.’

‘Be that as it may, you miss my dick and I miss your cunt...and ass. Leave school and come over.’

‘You are so pretty and so stupid at the same time. It honestly amazes me how you’ve made it this far in life. Even with the money.’

‘Because of pretty little broads like you’

‘Since you’re trying to get sex out of me, maybe you shouldn’t insult me? Just a thought.’

‘How is that an insult?’

‘I’m nothing like the girls you lie to at bars.’

‘Sure honey’

‘Goodnight’

‘Don’t be like that, come over. I’ll apologize with my tongue and make you feel special.’

‘Make sure to order a car service when you get too fucked up tonight’

‘See you in 50 minutes, Sweetie’

‘You CAN’T come here!’

‘Why not?’

‘Maybe because you fucked half my friends and they all hate you? Also, I take I school very seriously. I don’t need you fucking that up for me’

‘I don’t wanna fuck up your school life, just you’

‘You can’t come here’

‘See you soon’

You should’ve turned him away that night. You should have ended it there, but the fucking stress...for better or worse, Ransom was your stress reliever, even though he also caused you a great amount of it. You decide that the first time you let him come to your dorm was when the problem really started.

“Ransom,” you moaned as he started biting and sucking on your sweet spot “you need to leave.”

“You know, you always tell me to leave,” he smirked, sitting up and taking off his shirt before throwing it across the small room “but we both know that you need this as much as I do,” he smirked.

Arrogant fuck.

“Fuck,” you sighed, running your hands over his expansive chest. It really wasn’t fair that someone so awful was that gorgeous.

“That’s right, baby. Stop-ugh, fuck!” he groaned as your phone went off. The only reason he groaned was because you almost instantly went to reach for it.

“Be quiet,” you snapped before answering it “hello?”

“Please tell me you’re not committed to studying tonight,” Sam whined on the other end of your phone.

“That’s exactly what I plan on doing,” you laughed as you swatted Ransom’s hand away from your breasts. He scowled at you and raised an eyebrow.

“The Jimmy’s are playing-”

“You know I hate that band,” you whined, swatting Ransom’s hand away again, which resulted in him rolling his eyes and getting off the bed. He had learned the hard way that when you told him to wait, you meant for him to wait until you gave the all clear. He went home with blue balls that night. So, to kill time, he decided to start looking around your dorm.

“I know but I’m your absolute best friend, so you should go with me to a shitty little bar to watch them.”

“Ya know, instead of putting up with their shitty music, you should just tell their drummer that you wanna go on a date with him.”

“No, he needs to come to me.”

“What? Why?”

“So that way I won’t get rejected!”

“You’re an idiot,” you chuckled, as you watched Ransom look over your drawings and family pictures. That wasn’t sitting well with you.

“Just come with me, you don’t come out anymore!”

“Yeah, cause I have homework, which you should do also by the way.”

“Yeah yeah, you and your stupid law degree which makes no sense, cause you don’t even have interest in it.”

“It’s complicated.”

“Whatever, please come out tonight?”

“How about tomorrow night? I have don’t have classes on Friday.”

“You promise?”

“Yes, I promise. We’ll even go dancing after, if you want.”

“Fuck yes! I’m holding you to that, so you better put on something sexy!”

“I don’t have anything sexy,” you snorted, causing Ransom to turn his full attention to you and cock an eyebrow. You couldn’t help but laugh and smile at that.

“Bullshit! Wear something good or I’ll take personal offense! I’ll let you get back to studying though, I love you!”

“I love you too, babe. Have fun and get your man tonight!”

“Blah blah blah! Bye!” she laughed before hanging up.

“You don’t have anything sexy to wear, huh?” Ransom questioned almost instantly once you put your phone down.

“Don’t you worry about that.”

“Why not? I was going to come and see you tomorrow.”

“You’re gonna fuck me tonight, why come tomorrow?”

“To fuck you again?”

“You’re an idiot,” you laughed, shaking your head. “What? You’re gonna drive 50 minutes each night to fuck me?”

“Don’t go and get a huge fucking ego. Not every night, but more nights than not.”

“I’m having a hard time believing that I’m the only good pussy you can find.”

“You don’t complain, you don’t linger after, you clearly don’t need or want anything from me, and you’re wild. God, you’re so fucking wild,” he smirked mischievously. “So, why go without perfect sex if I don’t have to?”

“Fair point,” you sighed, laying back and watching him look around. “What are you doing?”

“You’re the one who decided to answer your phone.”

“Someone’s pissy that the world doesn’t revolve him and his dick.”

“Not pissy, just found something to keep me occupied while you appease others,” he shrugged. Liar. “Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret from him,” Ransom smirked, holding up a photo of you with a man not much older than you.

“My brother? I would hope so, cause he wouldn’t be too pleased to find out,” you scoffed, getting up and making yourself a drink.

“Brother?”

“Read the tone of that shelf, Ransom. You see pictures of me with my parents, grandparents, baby pictures of me with my parents and the same guy makes an appearance in a handful of them. He’s my brother, John.”

“Your dad never says anything about him and he talks about you a lot. He literally never shuts up about you.”

“Because I’m the stupid one,” you muttered before taking a sip of your whiskey. “He and my dad don’t get along, never really have. He comes by once in a while, but keeps his distance,” you finish, ignoring the pang of pain and irritation that last statement made you feel.

“The smart one.”

“Bingo,” you smiled at him.

“Well, that’s enough of that,” he smirked, putting the picture and sauntering over to you. “You really going out tomorrow?” he asked lowly, towering over you as you stood by your computer desk.

“T-that’s what I said,” you stuttered out, your eyes fluttering shut as he slid his hand down your sweatpants.

“I’ll find you and fuck you there, saves us both some time,” he whispered huskily, rubbing over the thin material that was covering your throbbing clit. It always amazed you how quickly he could make you desperate for him. “You’re a college woman going dancing. I know exactly where you’ll be he smirked, gently pulling them down.

“Anything specific you want me to wear?” you questioned, tugging at the hem of his shirt.

“You already know what I want you to wear, gonna have to force myself not rip it off you,” growled, hoisting you up and wrapping your legs around him. “So fucking sexy.”

He pounded into relentlessly that night, like he wanted to prove a point. Wanted you to remember that he was the only one who could truly satisfy you. You were almost asleep when he called your name.

“Where can I get one of these pictures? Linda’s birthday is coming up and I know I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t get her something. This is something she’d actually like, which means she’ll leave me the fuck alone for at least a month.”

“Just take it. I’ll make another one at some point. I always do,” you all but mumbled, pulling your blanket around you tighter.

“You made this?”

“I made every picture you see in that pile.”

“But you’re working towards a law degree? What the fuck?”

“It’s complicated,” you stated simply, before finally succumbing to sleep.

When you met up with Sam the next night, you found that she had invited Tiffany. An acquaintance you were nice enough to, but never let too close. When you saw Ransom later that night, to your true and total surprise, you saw him getting extremely friendly with Tiffany. You tried to not let it bother you (because why should it bother you), and dance the night away with Sam. You could tell he was watching you, but you refused to give him the satisfaction. When you turned around again, he was being led to the bathroom by Tiffany and it didn’t take a genius to figure out what that meant.

That’s the first time you felt it.

Jealousy.

However, you just took it as irritation, because who wouldn’t be?

It’s not like you had forgotten the type of man that he was, but still. You were the whole reason he came out anyway. You wore the stupid outfit he liked, bought new sexy lingerie, and he very obviously fucked someone else. So, you decided that payback was the appropriate course of action.

You waited until you saw him come out of the bathroom (it was rather quick compared to the time he spent pulling you apart), and found the hottest guy you could. Quickly, you made your way over to him and pulled him onto the dance floor with you, grinding against him and wrapping your arms around his neck. The poor guy was quick to do whatever you wanted, placing his hands on your hips and keeping you close to him. When his breath was on your neck, you felt a pair of eyes on you. His eyes. A small smirked played on your lips as you pulled the innocent stranger impossibly closer.

Ransom’s eyes never left you and when you briefly made eye contact with him, you could see the anger burning in them, and you smiled to yourself.

It’s what he deserved.

You smirked seductively at him before turning around and telling the guy that you wanted to take him back to your dorm, and he was more than happy to leave with you. Ransom eyes stayed on you until you two were out of the club.

You of course had no intention of sleeping with the poor kid and the minute car service pulled up to your campus, you pretended that you were gonna be sick and ran out before he even had a chance to offer help.

You weren’t surprised when Ransom showed up at your dorm hours later, banging on your door and demanding you let him in. Your response? Turning up your music louder and dancing while you drank whiskey straight from the bottle. If he wasn’t even going to pretend to respect your time, why would you respect him at all?

Neither of you said a word to each other for two weeks.

Ransom was the one who cracked first.

RD: Are you done being mad at me?

Y/N: Are you done being a dickhead?

RD: No.

Y/N: Welp.

RD: Jesus, it’s not like we’re fucking dating, Y/N.

Y/N: No shit, dumbass. However, YOU asked me to meet you there. If I wanted to be a second choice, I would’ve taken longer to get ready.

RD: You obviously weren’t my second choice, I just wanted to get off. Don’t need you being pissed at me and never fucking me again.

Y/N: Yeah, cause you’re such a fucking gentleman.

RD: Just fucking get over it, okay? Come by tomorrow and I’ll make it up to you.

Y/N: No.

RD: Why the fuck not?

Y/N: Because, Drysdale, I have shit to do.

RD: The fuck you do. It’s the weekend.

Y/N: The fuck does that mean to me? I have homework and have to study. I can’t just drive to your house because you’re horny.

RD: Then bring your shit here.

Y/N: What?

RD: Study and do your bullshit here. You don’t have to miss out on anything and we can fuck.

Y/N: So I have to pack up all my shit when we’re done on Friday? Yeah no. You and your dick can wait.

RD: I said the weekend, Y/N. If you think I’m only fucking you for one night, after going weeks without, college isn’t doing much good for you.

Y/N: I’m not spending the weekend with you, Drysdale?

RD: Why not? Scared you won’t wanna leave?

Y/N: Scared you’ll try to kidnap me again is more like it.

RD: Ha ha. Get your ass here tomorrow.

Y/N: We’ll see.

Of course, in the end, you caved and packed a bag for the weekend. Yeah, you were trying to teach him a lesson, but you hadn’t done anything for 2 weeks and your body was desperate. So desperate that the moment he opened the door, you were all over him and you didn’t feel any shame.

Ransom made good on his word and spent the weekend making up for being an asshole at the club. The only time he wasn’t sending you into mind shattering orgasms was when you forced him to pump the breaks so you could study and do your homework. Though he wasn’t happy about it, he let you do what you needed to do.

“Why is this shit so important to you? It doesn’t even seem like you enjoy it all that much,” he questioned, laying down next to you in bed, naked.

“I don’t, but I love my mother so...”

“She wants you to be a fucking lawyer?”

“No, I want to be a lawyer so I can get her out of that shitty marriage with my father. Fuck him.”

“No offense sweetheart, but they’re lawyers much better than you-”

“All the ones she would think to go to are best buds with my dad. She doesn’t trust them and I don’t blame her. If she has someone she can trust, someone she knows won’t do what’s in my father’s best interest, she’ll leave him. She’ll leave him and things will be different,” you sighed softly, going over your notes from Wednesday’s lecture.

“You can do that to your dad?”

“I love my dad, but he’s a piece of shit. You can’t spend your life raising your daughter to not date scum bags, then be one yourself,” you scoffed. “He’ll hate me, but it’s worth it if I can help my mom.”

“What does your brother say?”

“My brother,” you chuckled humorlessly “he’s kind of useless in this department. He’s kind of useless in all departments, but that’s nothing new. I’ve kind of always been on my own and that’s fine. If he wants to pretend that everything isn’t fucked...then so be it.”

“If you ask me, he’s just as terrible as your dad,” Ransom responded nonchalantly before lighting a cigarette.

“What?”

“You’re his sister. His baby sister. I know I’m not the greatest when it comes to family and all that bullshit, but if I had a younger sibling, I’d do everything I could to protect them from our shitty parents. I wouldn’t just abandon them because it’s the easier choice,” he shrugged.

“I don’t think he just abandoned me. He needed to get away from all of this and-”

“Horseshit. He never came back for you, Y/N. He left, made a life for himself, became successful, and fucking left you here to clean up this mess. He knows what you were left with and he just left you here. He barely even comes around. He just cares about what works for him and his bank account. He abandoned you and is as just as shitty as your father.”

You were thoughtful before spoke. “Is that what happened between you and Harlan?”

“You could say it was similar to that,” he scoffed, before taking a long drag from his cigarette then exhaling. “He knew how shitty everything was for me in that house. I heard my grandmother beg him time and time again to at least take me with them on summer trips, but he’d always say no and tell her that Linda needed to figure it out for herself. He and Walt just fucking....it doesn’t matter,” he sighed, putting his cigarette out. “What’s done is done.”

“It doesn’t have to be, Ransom.”

“Yes it does. I’m over it and I don’t care anymore.”

“Sure,” you smirked before looking back over your notes.

“Oh? And you think you’re in some position to say anything?”

“Of course not. Why do you think I’m fucking you?” you smiled at him, and let out a soft chuckle in response.

From then on, things became more...intimate between you and Ransom. You couldn’t explain or understand the shift, and a huge part of you didn’t want to. You and Ransom were complicated enough and you had no intentions of bringing feelings into the mix.

However, you couldn’t deny that the sex was much better. So much better. The little giggles, the sweet nothings, the way your name left his lips like a silent prayer when he got you off, and the way he held you while he was deep inside of you; it was everything you’d ever wanted and more. In the time you two spent together, you let yourself forget that he was who he was and you were who you were. Another mistakes on your end, but you let yourself believe that you were still in control of your emotions and what you were feeling.

Then Christmas came.

Your parents, well your father, had decided to throw one of his famous Christmas parties, and as per usual, he invited everyone you hated. However, when you saw Ransom saunter in behind his grandfather and the rest of his father, his arm around Tiffany’s waist, you suddenly wanted the floor to cave in.

You couldn’t ignore the pain you felt in your chest, but why should you feel anything at all? Ransom was never yours.

You didn’t want him to be yours.

Ransom’s eyes landed on yours, a weak smile playing on his lips, before he turned to greet your father. All you wanted was to drive back to campus, but you couldn’t leave your mother there alone. You knew your father didn’t care about her well being, and you’d blame yourself if something happened to her. Besides, your brother usually showed up halfway through and that always helped to smooth things over.

So, you did your best to make the best of the night until he got there. You made small talk with the few people you could tolerate, kept an eye on your mother as she started on her cocktail of drinks and pills, and made sure to stay far away from Ransom. When you checked the time again, you saw that the party had been going on for over 2 hours.

Where the hell was your brother?

You pulled out your phone from the pocket of your dress and made your way to father’s study as you dialed the number. When you opened the door, you almost screamed at the sight of your father fucking Joni on his desk.

“Sunshine!” he yelled, stopping abruptly and pulling out “It’s not-”

“Fuck off!” you spat before slamming the door to your room shut.

You couldn’t stop the tears that started to fall as you finally pressed the ‘call’ button on your phone.

“Hey sis,” your brother happily answered.

“Where the fuck are you John?!” you snapped, pacing in your bedroom.

“Oh, I told mom to tell you I’m not coming this year. Why? What’s-”

“What?! No! You have to come! I can’t do this without you!” you cried, coming to a complete standstill as Ransom makes his way into your room, softly closing the door behind him.

“Y/N-”

“No!” you interrupted harshly. “I don’t ask you for shit! I don’t ask for your help with mom, I don’t vent to you about dad, I don’t ask for you to come over for my birthday...I never ask anything of you, John! The only escape I ever fucking have is when you come home for Christmas and now you’re not even doing that?!”

“I just can’t fucking do it this year, Y/N,” he sighed pathetically. “It’s too much!”

“Too much?! Too...YOU’RE NEVER HERE! Three days is too much for you?! IMAGINE WHAT IT’S LIKE TO DEAL WITH IT DAILY!”

“THAT’S BECAUSE YOU MAKE THE FUCKING CHOICE TO STAY!”

“WE ARE ALL SHE HAS!” you yelled. “WE ARE ALL OUR MOTHER HAS BECAUSE OUR FATHER DOESN’T FUCKING CARE! SHE’LL DIE WITHOUT US! WITHOUT ME!”

“Y/N-”

“No, you know what? Don’t fucking come. In fact, don’t ever come back again! You’re just as selfish as the man you hate so much!”

“Don’t be like-”

“I’m not being like anything! You’re just as fucking awful as him and I hate you! I fucking hate all of you! Go to hell!” you spat before ending the call and throwing your phone so hard across the room the screen shattered.

“Y/N, you need to calm down,” Ransom stated calmly as he stood by your nightstand.

“What the fuck do you want?!” you snapped, angry tears still streaming down your face.

“I wanted to talk to you about-”

“I don’t really feel like talking right now,” you interrupt bitterly. “Jesus, do all of you fucking Thrombey’s suck?! This house is full of men and she has to go and fuck my father?!”

“Who?”

“Your fucking aunt!”

“Donna?”

“Joni!”

“She’s not a fucking Thrombey, Y/N. She’s a fucking leach.”

“Be that as it fucking may, she shares the same last name as the rest of you shit birds and I just caught my dad fucking her in his study!”

“Y/N, please calm down-”

“Why are you even here, at this party, at all?” you continued on, starting to pace again. “Why the fuck did you need to bring Tiffany?!”

“It’s been a while since I’ve seen your dad, and I didn’t want him to get suspicious about anything.”

“Why the fuck would he have gotten suspicious?!”

“I had planned on sneaking you up here-”

“That’s not happening tonight!”

“I know, Y/N, please just calm down,” Ransom pleaded softly, slowly making his way over to you.

“Just get out! I don’t want you here and I don’t want to see you! Get out!”

“No.”

“I mean it! Get the fuck out of my room!”

“I’m not leaving.”

“Ransom! Get off of me!” you yelled as he pulled you in close. The harder you pushed and hit him, the tighter he held you. “Get off! Get off of me! I hate you!”

“No, you don’t,” he responded softly.

“Yes I do! Yes I do!” you cried as you finally started to give in. “I hate everyone!”

“Y/N-”

“Why is it always me?! Why is it all always on me?!”

“I don’t know, baby. I don’t know,” he responded with a heavy sigh as he softly rubbed your back. “I’m getting you out of here.”

“I can’t leave her alone here. Especially after what I just saw,” you sobbed into his chest.

“Pack up some clothes and whatever else you need. When I get back, we’re leaving. You’re not staying here tonight,” Ransom commanded softly as he let go of you.

“Where are you going?”

“Do what I said,” he stated before walking out.

You took a moment to dry your eyes and get yourself together, before grabbing one of your overnight bag and throwing in random clothes and a few things for school. You picked your phone up and cursed yourself when you saw the giant cracks on the screen.

At least the damn thing still worked.

“Let’s get you out of here,” Ransom stated softly, coming back into your room.

“What about my-”

“Harlan’s gonna take her back to the mansion with him. All I told him was that being here wasn’t good for her right now. He didn’t ask anything and said he’d take care of her.”

“He did?”

“He’s good at taking care of people that aren’t his family,” Ransom scoffed. “Now lets go.”

You quickly grabbed your coat as you followed behind Ransom. You’d forgotten to ask him how Tiffany would get home, but it’s not like you actually gave a damn.

“Sunshine, please just talk to me,” your father pleaded quietly, coming up behind you and softly grabbing your wrist.

“Let go of me,” you growled lowly, turning to meet his gaze as Ransom went on.

“Please, you can’t just-”

“The only reason I’m not screaming at you right now is because I don’t want to embarrass mom,” you snapped coldly. “Do not call me, do not text me, and don’t try to visit me on campus. Stay the fuck away from me!” you quietly snapped viciously, ripping your wrist away from him.

“Y/N-”

“You’re a piece of shit and I want nothing to do with you,” you finished harshly before storming out.

The minute you got into Ransom’s car, you fell apart all over again. Ransom didn’t say a word, he just kept one hand on the steering wheel, while the rested on your lap. You kept trying to stop, but you just couldn’t. All of the pain and anger you had been holding in for years had finally become too much, and you couldn’t stop. To make matters worse, you were having a breakdown in front of Ransom of all people.

When you two finally reached his house, you barely had any energy left. You grabbed your bags and slowly made your way out of the car and up the walkway to his house.

“Give me those,” he demanded softly, grabbing your overnight back and your backpack. “Go upstairs and take a shower. You need to relax.”

“Ransom-”

“I’ll put your stuff in my room and bring you up something to eat. Go,” he stated, nodding towards the stairway.

You opened your mouth to speak but closed it when Ransom raised his eyebrow. You slowly made your way up the steps and kicked off your shoes in his room, before removing your coat and tossing it on the bed. As you made your way to the bathroom connected to his room, you stopped his dresser and made yourself a drink. How you’d manage to get through the whole day sober was a mystery you’d never figure out.

When you finally made it to the shower, you made the water as hot as you could stand it. You just wanted to disappear for a while and forget. However, no matter how much you always wanted to forget, you never could. Tears started to fall again as the days events played again in your head. You still couldn’t decide if you actually hated your brother, but your father...you were determined than ever to get your degree after what you saw.

Finally deciding that you’d burned your skin enough, you turned off the water and grabbed a towel that had been hanging up as you made your way out of the shower. You wiped the steam off of the mirror and gave yourself a good look over.

You truly were spent.

When you made your way back into Ransom’s room, he was laying on the bed and flipping through channels, a plate of pizza rolls next to him.

“It’s all I had, sorry,” he said with a small laugh.

“It’s fine,” you sighed, “I’m not all that hungry anyway.”

“You need to eat, Y/N.”

You sighed in defeat and slowly made your way over to the bed. “Sorry for ruining your Christmas Eve,” you mumbled.

“I was spending it with my shitty family. It was already ruined,” he shrugged.

“Why are you being so nice to me? This isn’t...you.”

“You’re not like them. My family, your parents...me. I don’t know, it just...you deserve better and seeing you like that...I couldn’t just leave you like that. It didn’t feel right,” he finished looking over at you. “You’re not eating.”

“Yeah yeah,” you sighed, grabbing a pizza roll and ignoring the little bit of your heart that swelled with happiness at his words.

“Do you wanna sleep in your own clothes or do you wanna sleep in something of mine?”

“Is it okay if I sleep in one of your sweaters?”

“Yeah, keep eating.”

“I’m eating!” you snapped, before shoving another pizza roll in your mouth.

He picked out of one of his gray pullovers and tossed it over to her, before grabbing a glass and making himself a drink. You pulled the towel off of you and pulled the pullover on before using the towel to dry your hair.

If Ransom hadn’t been...well, Ransom, all of this would’ve been sweet. It felt so normal and comfortable.

You two fit so well together in that moment.

“Would you mind grabbing my glass out of the bathroom and making me one too?” you asked, after you ate the last pizza roll.

“Anything specific?”

“I had whiskey before so...”

“I gotcha,” he nodded before briefly disappearing into the bathroom and reappearing with your glass in hand.

You tried to get into the holiday movie he put on, It’s A Wonderful Life, but your mind wouldn’t stop going over everything. Just as Ransom set your drink down, your phone started buzzing. You wanted to ignore it, but if your mother needed you, you’d hate yourself if you weren’t there for her. You scowl to yourself when you see it’s just a text from your brother.

Big Brother❤: What the fuck happened tonight?! Dad won’t stop texting me.

Y/N: Fuck off

Big Brother❤: Y/N, you can’t be mad at me for this. Whatever happened tonight, isn’t my fault. Dad is who he is.

Y/N: You abandoned me. I have been there for you every time you’ve needed me and you just, you know what? It doesn’t fucking matter. I’m going to bed.

Big Brother❤: Dad said you went back to campus. What about mom? What about Christmas dinner?

Y/N: So, it’s fine for you to skip it but not me?

Big Brother❤️: She expects you to be there!

Y/N: Fuck off.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you tossed your phone on the nightstand and grabbed your drink.

“Wanna talk about it?” Ransom asked, taking the plate off the bed and placing it on the nightstand by him.

“No, because it’s just more of the same shit,” you muttered before downing your drink. “I’m supposed to be the one who cleans up after everyone and I just...I just don’t wanna think about it,” you huffed as you felt your eyes starting to water again. “You said my father hasn’t seen you in a while,” you sniffled as you cleared your throat “why not?”

“Haven’t felt like going out lately...I don’t feel like being around him.”

“Why not?”

“It’s just getting old. Figured I’d just take a break for a while. Maybe when Spring starts up,” he shrugged as his gaze went back to the screen.

You scooted over to Ransom and cuddled up against him. You would never do this any other time, but this was different. You just needed to feel something other than the pain you were feeling.

“What can I do?” he asked softly as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him.

“I just...if you could just keep being nice to me? Just keep holding me?”

“I can do that,” he whispered into your hair before kissing it.

You don’t even know when you fell asleep, but you did know that sleeping in Ransom’s arms was the best sleep you’d had in a while.

“Fuck,” you moaned softly, eyes still closed as you felt something wet and pleasurable on your clit. “Y-yes please,” you begged, still not fully awake. As your hand traveled down it was met with something soft and fluffy, and you gripped it, slowly putting two and two together. “I’m so close, please...please!” you cried, eyes slowly opening. When you felt something push it’s way inside of you, you let out a silent gasp as the assault on your clit became even more urgent. “Y-yes...YES!” you cried out as you came hard, your toes curling.

Ransom stayed down in between for a bit, cleaning up the mess you made, before slowly kissing his way up your body. “Just wanna make you feel good, baby. I just wanna make you feel so good,” he mumbled against your lips before thrusting himself into you.

Ransom was relentless on Christmas morning. He kissed you in all the places you loved and fucked you in every position that made you explode for him. He only stopped when you were truly spent.

“Do you...do you wanna go to Harlan’s for Christmas? So you can see your mom?” he asked, breathless, as he laid down next to you.

“Mhm,” was all you could think to reply with.

You both took a moment to rest up before deciding it was time for a shower. Even then, he was all over you, bringing you off with his fingers and his tongue, loving how you were responding to him.

“Ransom, if we keep this up, we’re never gonna make it to Harlan’s,” you breathed out heavily as Ransom got on his feet.

“Do you really wanna go?” he smirked, before kissing you deeply.

“No,” you sighed, once you two broke away “but I need to see her. To make sure she’s okay,” you moaned as he hoisted you up against the shower wall and forced your legs around his waist.

“I promise,” he grunted as he thrust himself inside of you “we’ll leave in a bit.”

“W..what’s with you this morning?” you moaned, your hands running through his hair as you met his gaze. “Am I not-”

“You’re perfect,” he groaned “and I just wanna make you feel good. My gift to you is fucking you senseless.”

“Well it’s an amazing fucking gift. Best gift I’ve ever gotten,” you giggled with a moan as your legs tightened around him.

After sending you over the edge for what felt like the millionth time, you both cleaned yourselves off in the shower, before finally getting dressed and making your way to Harlan’s. As you arrived, you felt a wave of anxiety wash over you, and you let out a heavy sigh as Ransom turned off the car.

“Hey, we don’t have to go in there. We can go back right now and-”

“No no, I need to be here for her. She’s my mother.”

“Exactly. She’s your mother. It’s not your job to play parent.”

“If I don’t do it, who will?” you asked, turning to meet Ransom’s gaze with watery eyes.

“If you feel uncomfortable or upset at any point, you let me know and we’ll leave.”

“Ransom-”

“I mean it, Y/N. My family sucks and I know Joni is here. If at any point you want to go, just tell me and we’ll go back to my place, okay?”

You merely nodded before wiping away the few tears that had managed to escape.

“Everything is going to be fine,” he whispered before kissing your cheek.

Your mother almost knocked you over with the hug she gave you as you both came into the house.

“I didn’t think I’d see you today! Your father said you went back to campus!” she beamed, holding onto you as if her life depended on it.

“I’ll always come back to spend time with my mom,” you smiled, as you wrapped her in the tightest hug you could muster.

“Thank you for bringing her,” she smiled towards Ransom once she finally let go of you.

“I was out that way so it just made sense,” he shrugged as if it were nothing, before walking past the both of you and settling into the living area.

You made your rounds and said hi to everyone, glaring daggers at Joni when she approached you, before you and your mother decided to have a talk in Harlan’s study.

“You can just leave him, you don’t have to live like this!” you snapped at your mother before taking a sip of your drink.

“Everything is in his name, Y/N. The accounts, the cars, the house....all of it is in his name. If I leave, he gets everything.”

“Okay, then you’ll have to start all over again! What’s the problem-”

“I got him to where he is!” she snapped after lighting her cigarette. “Your father had nothing before he met me and I was dumb enough...” she trailed off as she started to cry. “He wasn’t like this. He was so much better and loved me. Truly loved me.”

“Ma, you can’t keep going on like this. You’re gonna kill yourself.”

“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing.”

“Mom! Don’t say shit like that!”

“It’s not like I’ve been the best mom and I’m clearly not the best wife-”

“He’s a fucking idiot! Don’t downplay yourself! You raised John and I-”

“John doesn’t even come around! He hates me!”

“He doesn’t hate you! He’s just a selfish piece of shit.”

“Y/N-”

“Mom, if you could get yourself a lawyer that you trust, truly trust, would you leave him?”

“I’d like to think I would,” she laughed humorlessly “but I love him, baby. I know how stupid I sound, and I know I shouldn’t but we built a life together. I met him when I was 14 and...baby, it’s not as simple as I want it be. As simple as I wish it was,” she sobbed.

After that talk, you needed to get out and as far away as possible, and Ransom could tell the moment he laid eyes on the both of you as you made your way back into the living area.

Almost instantly, he had the servers put together to-go plates for the both of you, before telling his family that he needed to go and he’d be taking you since he brought you. When your mother offered to have a car service come and get you, you told her that it was better for Ransom to take you because the earlier you got back, the earlier you could finish up on the work you had started on.

The minute you both got inside his car, the tears started right back up.

“Y/N-”

“What is the purpose of any of this if she isn’t even sure she’ll leave him? Why am I stressing if she’ll probably just stay with him?!”

“Just take a deep breath,” he cooed, taking your hand in his as he raced back to his house.

“She’s at Harlan’s fucking mansion! What more of a sign does she need that it’s time for her to fucking leave him?!”

“You can’t force her to make better choices. Isn’t that what you told me a few months ago when we were talking in your dorm?”

“That’s different!”

“How? She knows who he is, how he is, and she still loves him and keeps waiting for him to change. You’ve done all you can. At some point, she has to do the hardest part herself. She can’t just keep making you her lifeline,” he finished softly as he pulled into the gravel filled driveway of his home.

“I just...I don’t fucking know what to do anymore,” you cried, embarrassed to be crying in front of Ransom once again.

“What will make you feel better?” he asked as turned off his car.

You answered before you could stop yourself. “You.”

You were on Ransom in a heartbeat, straddling him in the driver’s seat of his Beamer. He left you in control as you took what you needed from him and he kissed your tears away. Riding him as hard and aggressively as you could, bringing you both to heaven in almost no time at all.

You spent the rest of your Winter Break with Ransom. Underneath or on top of him, letting him fuck you into oblivion, because you just didn’t want to feel or think anymore.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

You both knew that there was another change in your “relationship”, but neither of you wanted to acknowledge it, because neither of you wanted to admit that it had become more than just sex. When it was finally time for you to go back, Ransom drove you despite you begging him not to.

“Do you need me to grab you anything?” he asked as you both sat in his car.

“No, I’m good. I have everything I need,” you mumbled looking out the window.

“Well...I guess I’ll see you around then.”

“I guess so.”

“I’ll text you.”

“Sounds good to me,” you smiled weakly before you grabbed your bags and got out of his car.

You and Ransom didn’t speak for a month after that. While it hurt you for reasons you refused to talk about, you understood why. That break had been too intimate for the both of you and all of the lines had been blurred. You kept telling yourself that didn’t want or need Ransom, but the fact that your heart longed for him so much let you know that was a lie.

However, you weren’t ready to admit that.

You’d gone out and had random hookups, but they all felt wrong. You knew he was out doing the same thing, but you still felt as if you were betraying him to an extent, which only made you feel like shit afterwords.Well, that and no one could truly satisfy you like he could.

So, when Ransom showed up announced at your dorm room door, you didn’t turn him away. You didn’t protest when he didn’t leave after you got him off the first time, and you didn’t wake him up and send him off when he fell asleep next to you; holding you tight.

Instead, you decided to lie to yourself and tell yourself that it was still just sex. You told yourself that you’d never been fucked so good in your life and you just weren’t ready to quit him yet. When you pulled him back into your bed when he tried to leave? You told yourself it was because you weren’t truly satisfied, even though you knew it was a lie. You let him hang around and watch you sketch and paint pictures because you told yourself it was better than being alone with your thoughts, when in reality, just being with him was better than anything else.

“You’re not you, at all,” Sam laughed as you two walked to another bar. “What the fuck is going on? Are you in love?”

“What? No!” you laughed, as you two stumbled across the street. “I’m just getting fucked regularly,” you laughed as you pulled out your pack of cigarettes and lit one.

“Oh? By who? Steve Daniels? God, he looks like he would be such a good time,” Sam groaned as she stole a cigarette from you.

“No,” you laughed “Ransom Drysdale.”

“Y/N...you can’t be fucking serious!” she snapped coming to a complete stop.

“What? Oh, come on! I’m not that stupid!”

“You clearly must be! You fell in love with Ransom?!”

“I’m not in love!”

“Babe, I hate to break it to you, but you are. You are so in love-”

“Stop it, Sam,” you warned.

“Why? We’re best friends and I’m supposed to tell you when you’re making a bad choice. Ever since Christmas-”

“There’s your first mistake, Sherlock. We were fucking long before Christmas.”

“Jesus Y/N!”

“You’re ruining my buzz! Stop!” you whined as you took a drag from your cigarette.

“Fine Y/N, but I’m just going to tell you to tread lightly,” she warned as you two finally reached your destination.

“I thought fucking Ransom was a right of passage around here,” you smirked as you put your cigarette out.

“You’re not like the rest of us,” she humorlessly laughed, putting her own cigarette out.

You did your best to put the conversation you both had out of your mind and just have fun with Sam, but the reality of her words wouldn’t leave you alone. It didn’t help that you saw Ransom that night, dancing with another girl and very much enjoying himself. When his eyes landed on you, you quickly turned away and made your way back to the bar, ignoring the pain that only he could cause.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you here tonight,” he slightly slurred as he made his way over to you.

“Yeah no, I just thought I’d have a girl’s night out with Sam,” you smiled softly as you motioned towards Sam, who was glaring daggers at him.

“You haven’t been available lately, so I just thought-”

“No, it’s okay,” you say with a faux smile “you’re free to do whatever you want, Ransom. You don’t owe me an explanation.”

“I can leave with you-”

“That girl has been working hard to leave with you for about an hour, it’d be a shame if I ruined it for her.”

“Y/N-”

“Enjoy your night,” you smiled before walking off with Sam.

You quickly settled your tab and quickly made your way out. You couldn’t have stopped your tears if you wanted to.

“Y/N-”

“No, I’m fine. I’m perfectly fine. I’m just tired,” you cried as you walked as quickly as you could away from the bar.

“Babe-’

“Sam please,” you cried “I made this choice. I decided to start this up with him and I’m fine. I’m fucking fine!”

Sam walked you back to your dorm room and stayed with you for a bit, before stumbling out of your room and making her own way back to her dorm. You were finally ready for sleep when you heard your phone buzz.

RD: I hurt you tonight, didn’t I?

Y/N: What do you mean?

RD: I saw the look in your eyes. I hurt you.

Y/N: Did you enjoy your night?

RD: No, she was annoying and the sex was bad.

‘So he did sleep with her,’ you thought to yourself before responding.

Y/N: Well, better luck next time, I guess.

RD: I wanna see you.

Y/N: You already saw me.

RD: You know what I mean, Y/N.

Y/N: Not tonight, Ransom. You’re drunk and so am I. It’s probably best for us to table this for a while.

RD: Because I hurt you?

Y/N: You didn’t hurt me, Ransom.

RD: Don’t lie to me. I know you.

Y/N: You didn’t. I hurt myself and that’s nothing new.

RD: Let me come over and make it better.

Y/N: Not tonight.

You put your phone down and turned off the light in your room, before rolling over and trying to drift off to sleep. You were almost asleep when you heard your phone buzz. Against your better judgment, you checked to see who it was.

RD: I don’t want to be him. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m sorry that I hurt you tonight. I’m not like him...your father. I mean...I guess I am, but I don’t want to be that way with you. I’m just...I’m sorry, okay? Enjoy your night.

You read that message over and over again until you fell asleep. You weren’t at all surprised when he text you the next day trying to explain himself and the conversation you two had the night before. You simply shrugged it off as no big deal and telling him it was fine because you both had way too much to drink.

In reality, it had meant the world to you, but you weren’t going to admit that to him or yourself. You both agreed that it would be best if you two took a break, and you told yourself you were fine with it because you needed to focus on school.

In reality, school wasn’t all that hard for you and you had no desire to focus more than you needed to. Instead, you went back to painting and drawing, and spending way too much time focusing on your mother and all of the issues there. In two months time, you were ready to text Ransom and ask him to come over, but you couldn’t. You knew you were in too deep already, so you decided to visit your mother one weekend instead.

As fate would have it, Ransom was back to hanging out with your father and was there when you arrived to pick your mom up for lunch.

“Sunshine! This is a-”

“Fuck off,” you snapped at your father, pushing right past him and making your way upstairs. As soon as you reached the top step, Ransom was coming out of the bathroom. “Oh,” was all you said.

“I didn’t know you’d be here today...we’re supposed to go out tonight, but he wanted-”

“You don’t owe me an explanation,” you smiled softly. “Have fun.”

“You okay?” he asked as you tried to move past him.

“Everything’s fine,” you lied, refusing to meet his gaze.

“I know we decided to stop for a while, but I’m not sure if you wanna talk to me or not, and I don’t-”

“You can text me whenever you want, I really do need to go though. I’m taking my mom to lunch so...”

“Yeah no, of course. I guess I’ll talk to you later,” he mumbled as he awkwardly stepped aside.

When you got to your parents’ room, your mother was standing there with a shit eating grin on her face.

“Don’t,” you stated simply.

“Yes ma’am,” she chuckled before stepping out of her room.

You two spent the first hour of your lunch catching up and talking about school. She asked if there was anything that could make your time there any easier. You, in all your snarky spirit, told her that a divorce from your father would be the best gift she could give you for graduation.

“We can’t all be as in love as you and Ransom,” she smirked as the waiter dropped off another round of drinks.

“What are you talking about?” you scoffed before taking a sip of your whiskey.

“I saw you two today.”

“You saw nothing. We were just talking.”

“I saw how you two looked at each other. How he looked at you. He loves you.”

“Ransom loves sex, not people. Besides, it would never work out. He hangs out with dad.”

“He hasn’t for a while. This is the first time he’s seen him in months.”

“Well, good for him.There’s nothing going on and nothing ever will,” you shrugged, taking another sip of your drink.

“Whatever you say,” she chuckled before sipping on her Mai Tai. “So, how do you feel about a little retail therapy?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

You two spent the rest of the day laughing, talking, boozing, and shopping. As per usual, she hated everything you wanted and you took deep pride in that. By the time the car service brought you two back to mansion, you were both pretty drunk.

“You are staying here tonight?” your mother asked as she stumbled into the kitchen.

“Nope no, I’m going back to campus,” you hiccuped.

“If you wait till the morning, I can get a service-”

“I don’t wanna be around him,” you stated firmly.

“You know he loves you.”

“And I love him, but he’s still a piece of shit and I’d prefer to be around him as little as possible,” you grumbled, pulling your phone out just as Ransom came into the living area. “I thought you were going out?”

“Uh yeah, we were but business came up and he’s been doing that for the last...4 hours? Everyone else is waiting in the other room, but I’m gonna head out.”

“Well, drive safe,” you mumbled, looking back at your phone. He looked too good and you were way too drunk.

“Ransom, are you going home or are you going to out for the night?” your mother asked, leaning against the entry way leading to the hallway of your father’s study.

“I honestly hadn’t decided yet.”

“Well, would you mind giving Y/N a ride back to campus? I really don’t want her paying-”

“Mom, it’s honestly okay,” you chuckled running your hand through your hair. “I’m sure Ransom-”

“I was thinking of going out,” Ransom interjected a little too eagerly. “If you’re going back tonight-”

“I don’t wanna get in the way of your plans,” you smiled at him as politely as you could. The last thing you wanted was to be alone with Ransom.

“Suit yourself,” he shrugged, as he grabbed his leather jacket off the sofa.

“Y/N stop it, let him take you back. He’s going in that direction anyway,” your mother snapped, cocking her eyebrow.

“Give me a second to grab my things?” you asked looking over to Ransom.

He nodded before grabbing a few of your bags.” I’ll be in the Beamer,” he simply stated before walking out.

“What are you doing?!” you hissed at your mother as soon as the door closed.

“One of us should have some fun tonight,” she chucked, making her way to the drink cart.

“Mom!”

“Oh come on! You’re young and he very obviously wants to have some fun with you!”

“Aren’t you supposed to be telling me not to sleep around?!”

“I’m a cool mom,” she laughed before taking a sip of her vodka twist. “I’m not telling you to marry the boy, just have some fun. If anyone deserves it, it’s you,” she smiled.

“You’re nuts and I’m going back to campus,” you laughed softly as you got up from the sofa. “No pills tonight. It was a good day. I love you and I’ll talk to you tomorrow, okay?”

“Mhm, be safe in whatever you do tonight,” she laughed as she wrapped you in a hug. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, I love you so much,” she whispered.

“I love you too, Mommy,” you sighed, feeling yourself getting worked up. “I’ll text you when I’m back.”

You grabbed the few bags you had left before quickly making your way outside to Ransom’s Beamer, him waiting inside of it patiently.

“You know, you really didn’t have to take me back...thank you,” you stated meekly, your gaze staying on the view outside of your window.

“Do you really want me to take you back to campus?”

“Ransom...lets not,” you sighed.

“We spent time away from each other. We’re fine.”

“Not enough.”

“It’s been two months, Y/N. I think that’s more than enough.”

“Don’t. Just...just take me back to my dorm-”

“Is that what you really want?”

“You know what I really want, but-”

“Then we’re going back to my place,” he huffed, turning down the all too familiar road.

“Ransom-”

“Why? Why deny us of what we both want? Things were a bit much over winter, but we’re fine now. This can go back to being what it was.”

“You truly believe that?” you asked, finally turning and looking at him. His grip on the steering wheel was letting you know that he didn’t actually believe what he was saying.

“We’re both adults, Y/N. We can handle this,” he sighed as he pulled into his driveway.

You knew it was all bullshit, but you wanted him just as much as he wanted you. You barely waited for him to close the door before your lips were on his. Ransom hoisted you up and you instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting to waste no time getting you both to what you truly wanted. He only made it to his steps before laying you down and ripping your pants open before pulling them off, then pulling down his own jeans and boxers.

“Can’t wait,” was all he said before thrusting himself inside of you. “Missed you so much! Missed having you beneath me like this,” he grunted before licking the side of your face. “Such a good little girl for me,” he moaned.

“Fuck Ransom!” you moaned, digging your nails into his shoulders.

“Anyone else fuck you as good as me?”

“No...no baby, it’s only you for me! Needed you so much!” you whimpered, wrapping one leg around his waist. “Only you can get me to where I need to be.”

“That’s right, sweetheart. It’s only me,” he grunted as he started to pick up his pace. “Are you gonna be a good little slut for me tonight? Are you gonna let me destroy you?”

“Ye...yes Daddy!” you mewled, feeling your release coming on. “I want you to remind me who this pussy really belongs to, Daddy!”

“Ugh fuck!” he groaned, his grip on you getting tighter. “You keep talking like that and I’m gonna cum right now!”

“I wanna feel you, I missed you so much,” you confessed too blissed out and drunk to lie. “I missed you so much, Ransom!” you yelled, cumming

“I missed you too, baby,” he moaned as he came hard deep inside of you.

Ransom fucked you all over his house that night and told you, repeatedly, how you’re the only who could really get him off. He told you how much he missed you and how much he missed fucking you, planting desperate and feverish kisses down your chest, and you did your best to hold on because it was all you could do. When he was deep in your ass, you let out your own confessions.

“Don’t wanna be without you, Daddy,” you moaned, as he relentlessly pounded into your ass.

“Yeah baby? My good girl loves it when I fuck her like this?” he questioned, roughly gripping your hair as he picked up his pace.

“I love when you do anything to me! Need to feel you all the time!” you mewled as you gripped his pillows tight.

“I know, baby. I know,” he whispered hotly against your ear before nipping at it “Daddy feels the same way.”

“I want you to make me yours, Ransom. I want you fuck me so hard that I’ll never want anyone else!”

“Fuck Princess! You know I love it when you talk to me like that!”

“Then show me, Daddy! Show me how much you love it!”

“I promise I will,” he grunted, before removing hand from your hair and using it to rub your clit. “ I’m gonna ruin you for every other man,” he promised softly before pressing a soft kiss into your hair.

Ransom didn’t stop until you were a puddle in his arms. After all was said and done, he was so gentle with you, like you were made of glass. As he cleaned you up, your phone buzzed and it made you remember that you were supposed to text your mother. You couldn’t help but laugh when you saw that it was your mother who’d text you.

Mama Bear❤: I’m gonna take you’re not texting me as a sign that you decided to have fun tonight. Just wanted to let you know that there was no one else here. Ransom was the last to leave and I truly believe it was because he was waiting for you. Have you fun but be careful with this one. I love you, babygirl.

Your mind wouldn’t allow you to focus on her words, you just wanted sleep. When Ransom got into bed, he pulled you close and whispered sweet nothings into your ear, as if you two belonged to each other. He was probably thinking you wouldn’t remember because you were so drunk.

That’s when it hit you: you were the only one drunk at the moment. Everything Ransom had said that night he truly meant. However, you were too tired to focus on any of that. You just wanted Ransom and sleep.

When you woke up the next morning, he was still sound asleep and you were too enamored with the peaceful scene to ruin the moment. So you just laid there: taking him in, listening to his soft snores as he slept beside you, holding you close. You knew you couldn’t live in that moment, but still. Everything was simple and happy for a second. You could pretend that you were Ransom’s, and that he was yours. You could pretend that you’d have that for the rest of your life.

Why couldn’t life be kind to you just once?

Ransom had you twice before returning you to school; as if he hadn’t said all of those sweet and caring things to you last night.

“When’s your last week of school?”

“Next week, I’m packing up and going home. I figured I’ll look for my own place during next Winter Break,” you shrugged, watching different college kids shuffle back and forth with things they’d pack up from their dorms. That would be you in a few days, and that prospect seemed dreadful.

“Come to the Hamptons with me for the week,” he said as if it were the most simple thing in the world.

“What?” you laughed incredulously.

“I’m going to the Hamptons the week of July 4th and I want you to come with me.”

“What? Why me? No,” you scoffed. “Go with your friends or Tiffany.”

“I don’t like my friends or Tiffany. What’s the harm? You get a free vacation and we both get to have fun without any distractions.”

“Ransom, stop it. I have my summer classes and my mother-”

“It’s just a week, Y/N. There’s no harm in going away for a week,” he sighed, not bothering to meet your gaze.

The words Ransom whispered to you last night spun in your head over and over again, and you knew you should say no, but you weren’t ready to stop pretending. Not yet. “Just a week, Ransom. That’s it,” you mumbled.

You didn’t miss the small smile that came to his face, though he quickly tried to hide it. “I’ll pick you up from your place?”

“We’re driving?”

“We can fly if you want.”

“No, I just...I didn’t peg you as a road trip kind of guy,” you smiled to yourself. “If you’re picking me up from my parent’s place, you might wanna come really early, or right after sunset.”

“7am early enough?”

“It’s perfect,” you smiled at him. “Guess I’ll see you then?”

Ransom opened his mouth to say something, but quickly closed it and let out a soft chuckle. “I’ll see you then, Princess.”

From that day on, all you could think of was spending a week alone with Ransom. You told yourself that you’d be smart and just have fun. You needed a break, and so did he. Sam tried to talk you out of it, but you told her (and yourself) that you knew what you were doing. You promised both Sam and yourself that you wouldn’t fall for any of his games: that when you came back you’d focus on school and your family. Your mother wasn’t thrilled about being alone for so long, but she wanted you to have fun and not feel the weight of everyone else’s responsibilities on your shoulders.

You spent the week prior putting together your best outfits, telling yourself that it was just a week of fun. You told yourself that you didn’t need or love him. That when it was all said and done, everything would go back to the way it was.

However, when he showed up to your parent’s mansion in a 1953 Chevrolet Corvette on July 3rd, you couldn’t stop the smile that spread across your face.

“That’s definitely not your car,” you laughed as you made your way over, bags in hand.

“I borrowed it from Harlan,” Ransom smirked as you loaded your bags into its small trunk.

“Does Harlan know you borrowed it?”

Ransom’s smirk only grew bigger.

“Jesus, what did I just get myself into?” you laughed slightly nervous.

“The best week of your life,” he winked as you got into the passenger seat, closing the door behind you.

The four hour trip to the Hamptons was filled with horrible sing-a-longs (led by you), rest stop quickie sessions, terrible jokes told by Ransom, and you taking a ton of pictures that would never be seen by anyone other than the both of you. You told yourself that you two had developed some sort of a friendship, but you knew it was more. It had been so much for a while.

Ransom let out a soft chuckle at the gasp that escaped your lips. He pulled into a long driveway leading up to a beautiful, luxurious home.

“What were you expecting?”

“A hotel you psycho!”

“Hotels have people, rules, noise policies...” he smirked your way.

“I think we would’ve been fine on the noise issue,” you quip, flipping him off.

“Sweetheart, I’ve had you enough to know that’s a complete fucking lie.”

“Fuck off,” you laughed as he parked and shut off the car. “This must have cost a fortune. Let’s at least split it.”

“No,” he said simply before getting out of the car and going to get the bags.

“No? What do you mean ‘no’?”

“I already planned on coming out here, Y/N. Why would we split this?”

“Because it’s a lot of money!”

“Do you think I’ll be going broke anytime soon?”

“If you keep spending money like this...” you mumbled, following behind him.

“Don’t worry, Princess. I’ll take care of us for the week,” he laughed as he unlocked the front door.

“What the hell am I supposed to do then?”

“Be a good girl for me,” he laughed with a devilish grin.

The first two nights you both went out to clubs and got drunk as hell. You hadn’t realized how possessive Ransom was until multiple guys tried dancing with you.

“Jesus, if I had known that keeping you all to myself in public would be this hard, we would’ve just stayed in,” he muttered as he drunkenly pulled you back to the bar with him.

“Awh, is someone mad that he has a little competition?” you giggled, a small hiccup escaping you.

“Do I?”

“Nope nope, I’m all yours Ransom,” you smiled as you waived the bartender over. “There’s nothing I want except you,” you sighed, leaning against the bar.

“Yeah?”

You looked up at him, ignoring the very small part of you that was still sober and telling you to shut the fuck up, and gave him a tepid smile. “What do you think?”

“I have no idea, Princess. Don’t know if I’ll ever be good enough for you.”

“Do you wanna be?”

“Do you want me to be?”

You debated back and forth with yourself, whether or not you should answer him, before deciding it would be best to not go there while drunk. “Order a car service, I wanna get back to the house,” you smiled before pulling out your credit card and handing it to the bartender.

“I told you that I’m taking care of us this week, Princess,” he slurred, pulling out his phone.

“Thank me for it when we get back,” you giggled.

Ransom was all over you the minute you two got back inside the mansion. While you were used to him being needy and desperate, there was a hint of tenderness. His eyes said all of the things he wouldn’t, and it made your heart yearn for him that much more. You tried to lie to yourself and tell yourself that you were still in control, but you knew you were completely gone for him. You’d crossed every single line you’d drawn for yourself long before you two got to the Hamptons. For the time being you just didn’t wanna think about it.

You just wanted Ransom.

So when you woke up to the smell of coffee and breakfast the next day, you were completely thrown off.

“You can cook?” you asked, coming downstairs in nothing but one of his t-shirts.

“I am a capable adult,” he scoffed, placing eggs and bacon on a plate that already had toast and blueberries on it. “I know you like strawberries, but we used them all up the other night,” he smirked.

“Blueberries are fine,” you quipped, sticking your tongue out at him before walking over and taking the plate he made for you. “Thank you.”

“It’s not a big deal,” he smiled softly before kissing the top of your head softly and getting his own plate of food together.

“So, Drysdale. What’s your plan of action today?”

“What do you wanna do?” he asked, leaning against the counter top and taking a bite of bacon.

“Well...do you know how to steer a boat?”

“No, but I’m sure I can get us a boat and someone who knows how to steer it in no time,” he shrugged.

“I’ll steer it, you just get us the boat.”

“What? You want me all to yourself?”

“Yes,” you smiled softly as you popped a blueberry in your mouth.

Ransom was able to get a boat for you two in no time, and you put a lunch together for you both. When it was time to leave for the marina, you told him you wanted to drive.

“Well look at you,” Ransom scoffed, tossing you the keys to his grandfather’s car, “just running the show.”

“I am a capable adult,” you teased, starting the car.

The short trip to the marina was filled with questions from Ransom, and you refusing to answer until you two were out on the water.

“What else do you know how to navigate?” he asked, handing you a full champagne flute. “A rocket ship? A fucking plane?”

“Just a motorcycle,” you laughed. “My grandfather taught me how to steer a boat. He and my grandmother would take John and I when things got out of control with our parents. He taught me how to fish, how to go crabbing, how to fix a handful of things, and so on,” you shrugged as you anchored the boat in a secluded part of the sea.

“Your grandfather meaning...??”

“My dad’s father. My mom’s dad has kind of been M.I.A for a while. He comes around when he needs money,” you scoffed, taking a seat next to Ransom in the boat’s center console. “She’s used to shitty men.”

“Is that why you feel guilty about leaving her on her own all the time?”

“That and a few other reasons. People have always failed her and I just...I know she’s close to giving up. John likes to pretend it isn’t as bad as it is, because he doesn’t wanna deal with it, but...I’m pretty sure we all know. My father included,” you sighed, taking a sip of your champagne.

“Linda is the polar opposite,” Ransom scoffed, looking out at the water ahead of you two. “My grandfather could kill himself and she wouldn’t budge. She still has a chip on her shoulder. A chip she put there herself.”

“You’re better than you let everyone think, Ransom. Better than what they think,” you confessed softly, looking over his sad and frustrated face.

“Yeah? You think so?”

“When you let people in, really let them in, you’re pretty fucking amazing. We’ve been doing this for a while and the small amount of times that you’ve let me in...it’s been really nice. Getting to know you has been really nice.”

“That’s a first,” he laughed, finishing off his beer before grabbing another.

“Because you shut people out. You keep them away on purpose.”

“It’s better that way...I can’t be like this with everyone, my family especially. They’re a pack of wolves.”

“Then distance yourself from them. Hell, I’m pretty positive Harlan would actually tell you he’s proud of you if ya’ did.”

“Yeah sure. If it had been that simple, I would’ve finished college.”

“You went to college?”

“Why do you always sound so surprised when you find out I’m capable of doing things beyond the level of a 4th grader?” he laughed.

“Cause you try so hard to make everyone believe that aren’t capable of doing much more than a 4th grader.”

“Not you.”

“And what’s so special about me?”

“It’s just easy with you, I don’t know. You don’t complicate anything and you just get it. You get me.”

“Only because you let me,” you chuckled awkwardly, turning away from him.

“Well, why do you keep letting me come around if I’m such an enigma?”

“Because it’s simple with you,” you shrugged, taking a big sip of your champagne. “We’ve always been up front about what this is and we’ve always been up front with each other. When your life is full of bullshitters, it’s hard to push one away who isn’t one. Besides, like I said before,” you smiled at him, “you really aren’t all that bad. Just a bit rough around the edges and that’s not entirely your fault.”

Before you could react, Ransom’s lips were on yours. In any other situation you would’ve pushed him off and told him that it was time for you two to head back, but it wasn’t any other situation. You two spent the day opening up to one another, and just being your most honest and true selves. There were a million reasons to stop, but none of them were good enough as far as you were concerned.

“Ransom,” you moaned as his hands traveled down to the hem of your shorts, unbuckling them.

“I fucking love hearing my name leave your lips,” he rasped as he pulled your shorts down and trailed soft kisses down your neck. “I love everything about you.”

“Need more of you,” you mewled, tugging on the hem of his shirt. “I need all of you,” you whined pathetically.

“You can have whatever you want from me,” he moaned, sitting up to pull off his shirt while you undid his swim trunks and pulled them down. He pulled the strings, undoing your bikini top strings, and groaned in satisfaction when your bare chest was revealed. “You are so fucking beautiful,” he husked before slowly pushing his way into you.

“Fuck Ransom!” you cried, loving the way he pulled you apart.

“Just wanna take my time with you,” he moaned, bottoming out. “I wanna remember you just like this,” he sighed, looking down at you with nothing but love and adoration in his eyes.

“Take all the time you want,” you smiled, softly stroking the side of his face.

Ransom dipped down and kissed you deeply while starting to slowly move inside of your warmth. “I love you,” he rasped against your lips. “I love you so fucking much, Y/N! I tried to stop it...I can’t,” he moaned, his pace quickening as you dug your nails into his back. “Don’t wanna fight this anymore!”

“Then show me,” you all but whispered, wrapping one of your legs around his waist. “Show me just how much you love me,” you begged. “I wanna feel just how much you love me!”

Ransom trailed skillful kisses down from your cheek to your neck, stopping to bite and suck on your sweet spot, while one of his hands traveled down in between your legs and started rubbing your clit teasingly. You gasped and arched your back, pressing yourself into him more as you gripped his hair tighter. You clenched around him as he started to pump into you harder; you felt his smirk on your skin.

“That’s it baby, be my good girl,” he grunted hotly against your neck. “I know you wanna cum for me, don’t you?”

“So bad baby, so fucking...so fucking bad!” you whimpered.

“Do it for me, I wanna feel that warmth all over my cock,” he grunted.

You had no choice but to do as you were told. His words and the pleasure he was giving sent you over the edge in no time. Before you had a chance to come down from your high, Ransom had one arm around your waist and was pulling you upright with him, so that you were in his lap, pushing himself deeper inside of you.

“I wish you could see how beautiful you look right now,” he moaned as you placed your hands on his shoulders, trying to steady yourself as he as started to upthrust into you. “How beautiful you always look when you’re on my cock. Such a sweet and good girl for me. Being inside of you...in these arms...it’s the best feeling in the world,” he moaned, looking up at you as you planted your feet and did your best to hold on.

“Please,” you whimpered, your core tightening again. “Baby please!”

“What do you need, Sweetheart? Tell me what you want,” he husked, thrusting into you faster.

“I need...to hear you say it. Please say it again!” you whimpered.

“I love you,” he grunted as he started planting kisses all over your chest. “I love you,” *kiss* “I love you,” *kiss* “I love you, Y/N! Fuck, I’ve loved you for so long!”

“Jesus!” you screamed, cumming hard and pressing your forehead against his.

Ransom kissed all over your face and deeply on your lips, before holding you in place and slowly pulling out of you, loving the moans that escaped your lips.

“I want you on all fours for me, baby,” he cooed, looking up at you in your exhausted state.

“I can’t,” you practically sobbed.

“You told me that you want me to show you how much I love you, baby. I know you’ve got a little bit left for me, Sweetheart,” he cooed softly, brushing your hair behind your ear.

How the hell were you supposed to say no to him? You’d never been able to before, so it made no sense at that moment.

You got yourself on your hands and knees for him as quickly as you could, but you were so blissed out that you could barely hold yourself up, but that wasn’t something you had to worry about for long. Ransom wrapped an arm around your waist to hold you in place as he smacked his cock against your pussy.

“You’ve been such a good girl for me today, Sweetheart,” he praised hotly against your ear before biting it softly, as you whimpered beneath him. “You’ve cum so hard for me and have done everything I’ve asked of you. You’re so good to me,” he huffed before thrusting himself into you, and you cried out in pleasure as a response. “So, I’m gonna be nice and make sure you feel my love for you, okay? I’m gonna give you what you really want. You want me to do that for you, baby?”

“Y-yes...yes PLEASE!” you cried out as your nails scraped against the surface of the boats panels.

“So good for me,” he grunted before grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling hard enough to force your gaze on the water in front of you two. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you...nothing I’d deny you, Y/N,” you grunted as his thrusts started to become erratic.

You faintly heard the waves crashing against the boat as his balls slapped against your ass, and were somewhat aware of how public you two were. You couldn’t bring yourself to care about how easy it was for you two to get caught. In your mind, you’d been Ransom’s for a while, even though you’d never actually admitted to yourself. As far as you were concerned, if anyone saw you two fucking on a boat in broad daylight, they’d have no questions about who you truly belonged to.

“I’m so close,” you cried, the knot in your core becoming stronger and more powerful. “I need it, PLEASE!”

“I wanna feel you all over me, Princess,” he encouraged, his grip on your hair becoming even tighter. “Give it to me, Sweet Girl,” he pathetically groaned.

“RANSOM!” you cried out as a mind shattering orgasm broke over you, your arms giving out completely.

“Fuck!” he sobbed, his own orgasm washing over him almost instantly as he continued to pump into you. He slumped over on top of you.

You both stayed there for a moment, completely exposed to anyone who may have sailed by and all the residents with an ocean front view, not caring about the repercussions of your actions. You two had finally told each other how you two truly felt about one another, and nothing else mattered at all.

“I...I love you too, Ransom,” you breathed after a moment. “I have for a while, but we just...this wasn’t supposed to be that.”

“I know, baby...I know,” he sighed before peppering a few kiss all over your back. “We’ll go back and talk about it, okay?”

“Mhm,” was all you had the strength to respond with.

You both took your time getting dressed before cuddling together in silence. Yes, you were both happy to have finally told each other how you honestly felt about the other, but all you could think was ‘what now’?

You both ate the lunch you prepared in a comforting silence, your toes touching as you two faced each other, trying to come up with a plan for the night ahead. When you both reluctantly decided that it was time to go, Ransom held you close from behind, peppering little kisses up and down your neck and whispering that he loves you, while you steered back to shore. The car ride back was light and couldn’t remember the last time you felt so happy and carefree. Ransom just looked at you, love in his eyes and a smile on his face, watching you as sat with your feet up and eyes closed. You could’ve stayed in that moment with him forever.

However, the mood changed as soon as you two got back to the mansion. You let out a heavy sigh as soon as Ransom closed the door behind him.

“This doesn’t have to be a terrible talk, babe,” Ransom humorlessly chuckled as he kicked off his sandals.

“We both know it’s not about to be a fun one.”

“Why not?”

“You know why,” you scoffed before making your way to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of wine and drinking from it.

“Y/N-”

“You’re not a relationship kind of guy, Ransom. This isn’t gonna work and I’ll end up hating you.”

“Why are you so sure I’ll fuck this up?”

“Don’t make me be a bitch.”

“Then don’t be one!”

“Ransom, you don’t know how to commit and I’d really rather not be your crash test dummy. Cause when you break my heart-”

“You don’t know-”

“When you break my heart,” you repeated, finally meeting his gaze “it’ll destroy the one last part of my world that hasn’t caved in yet.”

“I don’t want to break your heart, Y/N. I know I’m a piece of shit, okay? I know that I’m the last person to deserve your love, and that you have more than enough reasons to keep your distance from me. I can’t promise you anything, but I really want to try. I’ve never been in love and I tried to run from this, us, but I just can’t. God, if you only knew how hard I tried,” he laughed softly to himself. “Loving you is the scariest thing I’ve ever done, because I don’t want to hurt you, Y/N. I don’t want to disappoint you, I don’t want to break your heart, and I don’t want to lose you. I told myself that just sex with you was enough because it kept you close, but the thought of you sleeping with someone else? Another guy holding you close, making you laugh, feeling your warmth, seeing that smile...I can’t deal with that, babe. The moment I laid eyes on you, I knew you’d change my life. I didn’t think you’d change my life like this,” he laughed before pouring himself a shot of whiskey and quickly downing it.

“Then what do you want, Ransom? What do you want from me?”

“I want you to say you’ll try with me. I want you to want this, us. I’m selfishly asking for you to trust me, because I really do think I can be the guy you want. The guy you deserve. It may take some work and it won’t be easy, but I’m going to do my very best. I’m gonna do my best to be my best.”

“And if it all goes to shit?” you practically sobbed, quietly.

“At least we can say we tried,” he smiled weakly.

You had to ask yourself if he was really worth it. Yeah, the sex was amazing, but relationships are more than sex and good times. It’s also hard work, trust, bad fights, long nights, and compromising. It’s ‘I’m sorry’ and agreeing to disagree.

Relationships are everything...but so was Ransom.

“We’ll start off slow,” you stated softly after a beat. “I know we love each other, and you don’t know how happy that makes me, but you’re not this guy in Massachusetts. I can’t just dive right in with you like it’s nothing.”

“That’s fair,” Ransom smiled, hope very prominent in his eyes.

“We’ll see how the rest of this summer goes and then...we’ll decide from there,” you smiled softly.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm,” you nodded enthusiastically.

You couldn’t help but laugh as Ransom ran over to you and picked up, spinning you around and placing kisses all over your chest.

“We can do this,” he smiled breathlessly.

“I really hope we can,” you responded, looking down at him as you cupped his face in your hands.

The rest of the week was filled with making plans, cuddling up and watching movies together, dance parties (though that was mainly you and Ransom laughing at you), making love all over the house, lots of talking and bonding, and lots of late night boat trips.

“What if I bought that mansion?” Ransom asked as you two sat in the bow cockpit, cuddled up under the stars and wrapped tight in a blanket.

“What?” you scoffed, turning your gaze on him.

“I could buy that mansion and we could just live here.”

“No,” you laughed, grabbing your glass of wine and taking a long drink from it.

“Why not?”

“We can’t just run away from our lives because they’re not perfect, Ransom.”

“We’re not running away, we’re starting over.”

“Ransom, you’d have to get a job and-”

“1. I’m capable of holding a job-”

“Mhm,” you scoffed.

“I am!” he laughed “and 2. I have actually set up investments and I own a lot in stocks. We don’t need to work.”

“I’m not just gonna be a housewife, Ransom. I need to work. I want to work.”

“Well, with you being a lawyer and your love of arguing, I’m sure we’ll never have to worry about anything,” he smirked and you nudged him playfully.

“Fuck off,” you laughed.

“You don’t think I can provide for you?”

“I don’t care if you can, because I can provide for myself. I just don’t want to be one of those couples that-”

“You don’t care?”

“No, why should I? What does money matter to me?”

“Someone’s pretty full of herself,” Ransom scoffed and it was your turn to nudge him.

“No, you big dummy,” you laughed. “I mean, your parents have money, my parents have money, and everyone is still miserable. Why does it matter how much money either of us has? We can be the richest people in the world and it wouldn’t matter at all. Why should I care about how much money you have? I can make money just like you can,” you shrugged.

“I’m gonna marry the shit out of you one day,” Ransom smiled and you burst out laughing.

“Baby steps, Richie Rich.”

“Lets at least stay another week.”

“You know I can’t,” you sighed, laying your head in the crook of his neck. “I really want to though.”

“Then why can’t we?”

“Cause that’s just not how life works, baby. You know that.”

You both put off leaving the next day for as long as possible, but decided it would be best to leave while it was still light out. After Ransom packed away all the bags, he had you lean against the car, and he took a few pictures before you made him stand by you and take a few cute selfies of you both. If you two were able to make it work, they would be adorable in a scrapbook.

You asked Ransom to take you to his place, since you didn’t wanna risk being seen with him by your father.

“That’s something else we’re gonna have to figure out,” you sighed as you leaned against the window, waiting for the car service Ransom ordered for you.

“We’ll think of something,” he shrugged, coming up behind you and wrapping his arms around your waist. “Stay with me tonight,” you begged, placing small kisses up and down your neck.

“I have to get back to my mother,” you responded with a small and sad smile, leaning into him more. “I want to stay though. Sleeping alone is gonna suck.”

“When am I seeing you again?”

“I don’t know, tomorrow? Ugh, we’ll figure it out,” you huffed.

“I can come by and see you tonight.”

“This is so absurd. We’re both grown and we’re sneaking around.”

“We’ll take this at whatever pace you wanna take it, babe,” he cooed softly before kissing the side of your head. When the car pulled up, you let out a mourning sigh. “I’ll come by and see you tonight.”

“Ransom-”

“I’ll see you around 11, okay?” he questioned, turning you around in his arms, lifting your chin with his forefinger.

“Okay,” you responded meekly, suddenly aware of just how much you truly didn’t wanna leave him.

He kissed you deeply, forcing himself to stop when you tried to deepen the kiss, and kissing you softly on the forehead. “You better get going before I make you stay.”

“Maybe I want you to.”

“Y/N-”

“I’ll see you tonight,” you giggled, giving him a quick peck on the lips before grabbing your bags and running out of his house.

The entire drive back to your parents’ place, you went through a roller coaster of emotions. No, you didn’t doubt that Ransom loved you, but Ransom was Ransom. He didn’t know how to commit to anything, but also really tried with you. You could tell that he tried to pull back and distance himself, but he was just as in love with you as you were with him.

You two were inevitable.

Everything was fine until you got home.

“So, you’re telling me you didn’t see Ransom at all?” your father questioned for what felt like the millionth time.

“What did I say the first three times you asked me?”

“I’m just having a hard time believing you both left on the same day and came back on the same day-”

“I honestly don’t give a shit what you believe,” you scoffed. “I don’t give a single fuck about any of your thoughts. I went away with Sam for a girl’s week and now I’m back. Believe it if you want or don’t. Your feelings matter nothing to me at all,” you shrugged, putting your phone down and meeting your father’s worried gaze.

“Sunshine-”

“Stop calling me that,” you snapped. “I’m not your fucking ‘Sunshine’. I’m your blood relation and that’s it.”

“You can’t hate me forever, Y/N.”

“I don’t hate you at all, Father. I’m just over your shit and I can’t wait for the day that mom leaves your sorry ass,” you smiled at him.

“Y/N-”

“Close the door on your way out, we’re done here.”

“Y/N-”

“We are done,” you repeated, your voice angrier than it had been the entire conversation.

Your father opened his mouth to argue, but stopped when he saw the look of pure anger in your eyes. He simply nodded before walking out and closing the door behind him.

Ransom text you and said he’d be over by 11, but you couldn’t help but laugh when you saw him standing outside on your terrace an hour early.

“Miss me?” you joked, letting him in.

“You have no fucking idea,” he chuckled, giving you a quick kiss before making his way inside. “How’s everything been?”

“Annoying,” you muttered, closing the glass door before going over and pouring Ransom a drink. “My mother was numb by the time I came home and my father interrogated me about where I was and who I was with.”

“Oh? Who does he think you were with?”

“You.”

“Your father’s a smart man,” Ransom smirked, settling into your bed.

“Fuck off,” you scoffed, handing him his drink before getting in next to him and cuddling up close. “What do you wanna watch?”

“What have you been watching?” he questioned, relaxing as he wrapped his arm around you and held you close.

“My So-Called Life”

“You and this fucking show,” he laughed softly.

“Leave me and my teen dramas alone!”

“There’s only one season! How many times can you watch one season of a show?”

“Apparently a lot!” you snapped before stealing his drink and taking a sip of it.

“You’re so fucking annoying,” he laughed “but we can keep watching it.”

“No no, I wanna do what you wanna do.”

“I have you in my arms. I have everything I want,” he smiled down at you.

You two spent almost every day together that summer and on the days that you couldn’t be together, you both text each other all day long and talked all night on the phone. Of course, there were days when problems came up.

“I’m not fucking talking to you while you’re like this,” you snapped, grabbing your jacket and going to leave Ransom’s room.

“Stop,” Ransom snapped, wrapping his arm around your waist and holding you tight to him!

He’d gone out with some of his friends and asked you to come over. You’d expected him to be a little fucked up from drinking, but the louder your argument got, the more you realized he was high on something.

“Let me go!”

“No! You don’t just get to leave because we’re having an argument!”

“You’re fucking high, Ransom! I’m not putting up with this shit!”

“I’m not high!”

“So you’re gonna fucking lie to me now?! Like I haven’t seen you fucked with my father?! Like I haven’t seen you fucked up at clubs?! Getting fucked up at clubs?!”

“Y/N-”

“I’m not dealing with you when you’re like this! I’m not your fucking babysitter!”

“Baby, I’m sorry,” he sighed, his tone breaking. “Please, just don’t go. I’ve been thinking about being with you all day. Please,” he begged desperately, grinding himself against you.

“D-don’t,” you moaned, excitement building between your legs.

“I’ll make it up to you, baby. Please stay,” he moaned softly, one of his hands sliding down into your shorts and finding its way to your bundle of nerves. “I’ll make you feel so good,” he promised before kissing the shell of your ear

“Ransom,” you moaned breathlessly, your head lulling back into the crook of his neck.

“There’s my good girl,” he groaned, rubbing your clit faster.

You were ashamed that he was able to get you to cave so easily, but you weren’t surprised. No matter what state he was, Ransom knew you could never resist him. It only made sense for him to resort to sex when he was afraid of you leaving him. As disappointed in yourself as you were, you told him off the next day.

“You can’t just fuck me to keep me, Ransom. That’s not how relationships work,” you mumbled the next morning as you cuddled up next to him.

“I didn’t want you to go.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have gotten fucked up and called me a bitch.”

“You know I didn’t mean it, Sweetheart.”

“You still fucking said it, Ransom,” you snapped. “I don’t like you when you’re on that shit.”

“I know you don’t. Truth be told, I don’t like me when I’m like that,” he confessed, running a frustrated hand through his hair.

“Then why do you do it?”

“Because it’s what’s expected of me, Y/N.”

“And what about what I expect of you?”

“Y/N,” he scowled, looking away from you as his face went slightly red. “This all still new to me, okay? I’ve never had someone else in my life that I needed or wanted to worry about. I told you that I’d try and I am trying...it’s just gonna take some time.”

It was now your turn to feel small. “I know you are,” you responded, bringing your hand to his face, and softly forcing his gaze on you. “I love you for trying and I appreciate it. I know we’re still figuring it out and it’s gonna take time, but Ransom...I’m not putting up with the drugs. I just can’t do it.”

“I’ll do better,” he promised before pressing a soft kiss into your hair. “I will.”

From that moment on, you two were fully committed to each other. Ransom made it a point to check in with you every night, and you did your best to go easier on him. By the end of the summer, you truly believed you two had a fight chance. No, you both still hadn’t told your friends or families, but that was something you decided on (wanting to stay in the bubble for as long as possible), but it was enough for the time being.

However, love and life have and life have a cruel way of knocking you on your ass.

You’d been back at school for 2 months before Ransom destroyed your world and crushed your heart into dust.

Sweetheart: I fucked up.

That’s all it took. The simple text held so much weight. The minute you read it you knew it was the end of you two.

Ransom text you every day and tried calling you on for two weeks, but you weren’t ready to talk to him.

You couldn’t.

So when you came back to your dorm one day and saw Ransom standing outside of it with a bouquet of flowers in his hands, you couldn’t stop the automatic scoff that left your mouth.

“You have to talk to me-”

“I don’t have to do shit, Ransom,” you quietly snapped as you unlocked the door to your room and shoved him into it, before slamming it shut. “How long have you been here?”

“Maybe an hour. Two at most, why?”

“Because I don’t need people knowing I was stupid enough to believe you,” you muttered, spiking your sweater down on your bed. “What do you want?”

“What do you mean what do I want? I wanna talk to my girlfriend-”

“Oh, I’m not your girlfriend!” you quickly corrected.

“Don’t say that-”

“No, you fucked someone else! We were together and you fucked someone else! Don’t stand here all misty eyed and heartbroken like I-”

“It was a mistake, it meant nothing! I know I messed up and I’m so fucking sorry-”

“No! I told you we should’ve never tried and you were so dead set on-”

“Because I love you!” Ransom shot, throwing the flowers down, “I wasn’t myself and I fucked up, but I hated myself the entire time! I hate myself now!”

“I don’t care because I don’t forgive you!” you yelled, finally letting your tears fall. “What? Were you waiting for me to fully trust you before you decided to get your dick wet in some other bitch’s cunt?! You thought it would be funny-”

“You know that’s not true! You know I love you!”

“Then why?! I want to know why!”

“I was out and I was fucked up...you weren’t answering me and I don’t know why...I just felt neglected and I got angry with you-”

“I can’t fucking respond to your every beckoned call! I’m at school, I have a fucking job, I have a life-”

“I know you have a life! Caring for your drug addict mother, to which I’m always taking a backseat to!”

“Get out!” you yelled at him, your anger ready to explode.

“Y/N,” Ransom begged with an exasperated sigh, “I’m sorry, can we please just-”

“No! Get out!” you screamed.

“Baby,” he started, moving closer to you, “we can just-”

“Do not touch me!” you snapped,quickly backing away from him. “You’re not going to fuck your way out of this! Get out!” you screamed, tears coming freely now.

Ransom stood there silent, his own tears falling, before slowly starting to retreat.

“You just need time,” he sobbed softly as he reached for the door. “I’ll call you in a few weeks. We can work this out.”

“Don’t fucking call or text me,” you cried. “We’re done. This is over. It was a fucking disaster from the start.”

“Baby-”

“Just fucking go, please. Just go,” you cried.

Of course Ransom didn’t respect your wishes and did text you a week later, but you forced yourself to ignore it. All of it just hurt too much and you weren’t handling it well. The only reason you kept up with school and your job was so that you could help your mother, but you stopped going out. You didn’t leave your dorm unless you had to and you ignored all your friends and family. Eventually Sam wore you down and you told her everything before falling apart in her arms.

She was kind and didn’t tell you “I told you so,” instead she just held you close and let you get everything out. From that day on, she tried to get you to go out and have fun. She wanted you to forget about all of the Ransom drama, and all of the pain he’s caused, but your mind kept getting in your way. After all, how could you simply forget when you couldn’t even bring yourself to delete the pictures you two had taken over the summer? They were the ones you looked over before reading all the texts he sent you when everything was perfect or when it was late and you couldn’t fall asleep. How could you just forget about the only person you ever let yourself truly love?

You couldn’t, but you had to try.

The week before winter break you let Sam take you out to one of your favorite bars. You didn’t think you were anywhere near ready for sleeping with anyone else, not yet. Dancing with your best friend or a random stranger seemed like a very good place to start, though.

You were three drinks in and had your back pressed against the handsome, random, stranger you were dancing with when you felt a pair of eyes on you.

His eyes.

You did your best to ignore his intense gaze on you, but the harder you tried the more you felt it. When you felt the handsome stranger’s breath on your neck, you knew that Ransom was ready to storm over and break up the scene in front of him.

“I’ll be right back,” you smiled sweetly before getting yourself out of the the rather strong grip he had you in, making your way to the bathroom.

You were only alone for a few minutes before the door flew open with a bang. “What the fuck was that?!”

“This is the womens bathroom, Ransom. Or can’t you read?”

“Don’t be fucking cute with me!” he snapped.

The glaze inside his eyes said it all. “Oh, you’re high. Fucking great,” you mumbled, finally turning to meet his intense gaze. “What do you want, Ransom? I’m a college student, you aren’t. This is my part of Massachusetts.”

“Jesus Y/N, it was a break up, not a fucking divorce!”

“What’s the difference?”

“I’m not playing this fucking game with you tonight, lets go!” he growled before grabbing your arm and attempting to pull you out of the bathroom with him.

“Where the fuck do you think you’re taking me?!” you snapped, ripping your arm free.

“We’ve been apart long enough! I learned my lesson and you’re clearly-”

“This wasn’t a fucking break! We broke up!”

“I said I was sorry and wouldn’t do it again! What else-”

“Ransom stop it, please,” you begged pathetically, your will to fight weakening. “I don’t have the strength to fight and I don’t want to. I didn’t fuck this up, you did. This has been the first time I’ve been out since everything and-”

“Y/N, you can trust me. I’ve never regretted anything more than I’ve regretted breaking your heart. I love you. I love you and I’m so fucking sorry. You have no idea how much I wish I could take back what I did, but if you just let me show you-”

“No. No, we tried and it’s over now, Ransom. Please just let me-”

“You don’t mean that,” he stated lowly, making his way over to you.

“Stop it,” you warned so quietly you barely heard yourself. “I’m not falling for this again. I’m not falling for you.”

“There’s nothing to fall for, Sweetheart. I love you and you love me,” he rasped as he pressed you against the bathroom wall.

“I’m not strong enough to do this again,” you cried softly. “Please.”

“Just trust me, I won’t-”

“Ransom...if you ever actually loved me...please don’t do this. I’m not strong enough to...please,” you cried looking up at him.

All the determination and intensity in his eyes quickly went away, and was soon replaced by regret. “I don’t want to hurt you-”

“Then please just leave me alone,” you cried pathetically.

All the tension and anger in his face fell away instantly and a softness overcame him.

“Y/N...I just-”

“Please,” you sobbed softly.

Ransom let out a sigh of defeat and stepped aside and you practically ran out of the bathroom.

That night ended with you once again crying in Sam’s arms, inside your bed, until you both fell asleep.

You decided to stay on campus until it was time for break and couldn’t believe how happy you were to be going home. Thirty minutes before you reached your parent’s place, you received a phone call from Harlan. He asked you to come to his Christmas party because he was worried about your mother.

“I love you Harlan and I love my mother, but I really don’t wanna see-”

“Joni isn’t going to be there, darling. Joni, Meg, probably Ransom, and Richard all won’t be there.”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive. Ransom stays away as much as possible, I can’t remember the last time he came to one of these things. Probably not since his grandmother passed,” he heavily sighed. “That’s besides the point though. Will I see you?””

“I’ll be there,” you responded as happily as you could muster.

When you got home and saw your brother’s car you scowled in frustration. After the stunt he pulled the previous Christmas, the relationship between you two had soured greatly.

“You’re home!” your mother squealed happily almost as soon as you stepped foot inside, tackling you with a hug.

“Hi Mommy,” you laughed, trying not to lose your balance.

“Hey Sweetie,” your Father smiled sweetly.

“Father,” you responded curtly, cutting your eyes at him.

“Hey sis,” your bother smiled, as the girl who had her arms around his waist let go of him. She made her way over to you.

“I’m Ashley! It’s so nice to meet you! Your brother talks about you all the time!” she beamed as she held her hand out to shake yours.

“Oh, it all makes sense now,” you smiled as you shook her hand. “You need money,” you laughed towards your brother.

“Y/N, don’t-”

“Don’t even worry about it,” you smiled at him before letting go of his girlfriend’s hand and grabbing your bag. “It’ll be like I’m not even here.”

You quickly made your way upstairs and went to your room, slamming the door shut. You’d been home for all of 5 minutes and you already felt like you couldn’t breathe. You took a deep breath and took a moment to appreciate the silence and comfort of your room. However, your relief was short lived when you looked over at your bed.

The last time you’d been home, you’d been with Ransom. Very much in love, very much together, and very much believing that everything was going to work out just fine.

God, you hated how much you missed him.

You kicked off your boots before slowly making your way over to the bed and climbing in, a small part of you hoping that maybe some of his scent lingered, even though you knew it wouldn’t. You’d never known pain like what you were feeling, and you were truly hoping you’d never have to go through anything like it again.

The soft knock on your door pulled you out of your one woman pity party. “What?” you snapped, irritated that you weren’t being left alone.

“Ya know, you used to be happy to see me,” your brother chuckled as he made his way in.

“Yeah, and you used to not be a piece of shit. Things change.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry, okay? I really am sorry about everything that happened last Christmas. I-”

“I’d really rather not fucking talk about it.”

“I was wrong, Y/N. I’m owning up to that and am accepting full responsibility. I completely understand if you still hate me and never wanna talk to me again, but please don’t take it out on Ashley. She’s been really excited and nervous to meet you, so please just be nice.”

“When am I not nice?”

“When you’re mad at me,” he smirked before making his way over to your bed. “Scoot over.”

“Take your fucking shoes off before you get in my bed,” you cracked, but moving over none the less.

“Yeah yeah, okay mom,” he mumbled before taking them off and getting in next to you.

“Speaking of, how’s she been?”

“Up and down. She took a few pills earlier so I’m guessing dad did some shit.”

“That’s not surprising,” you sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “Harlan wants me to come to his party tomorrow so we can talk about her. He probably wants to put her in treatment or something, and I’m gonna be the one to have to tell him that we’ve already tried that.”

“She’s not your responsibility, sis.”

“I’m all she has. You’re never here, dad’s a piece of shit who just doesn’t care, her friends are fake and on the same meds she’s on, her mother’s dead, and her father’s useless. I can’t just abandon her like everyone else.”

“She’s the adult, Y/N. She knows that this isn’t-”

“Jesus, you sound like Ransom,” you groaned before you could stop yourself.

“Ransom? Ransom Drysdale?”

“Fuck.”

“You’ve been fucking Ransom?! Dad is gonna lose his shit!”

“Stop! Shut up! It’s fucking over anyway.”

“Don’t tell me you fell for him.”

“I really don’t wanna talk about it. Getting through the day is hard enough as is.”

“You’re supposed to be the smart one,” your brother teased, nudging you softly.

“Fuck off,” you laughed.

“You good?”

“In time,” you shrugged, wiping away a lone tear. “In time.”

“I’m gonna get back to Ashley because leaving her alone with mom and dad is a fucking death wish.”

“Yeah, you kind of suck as a boyfriend right now,” you mused. “When are you gonna propose?”

“Christmas.”

“You’re such a fucking dork.”

“Yeah yeah, don’t stay up here too long, okay? Mom misses you...and so do I,” he smiled genuinely before getting up and making his way back downstairs.

From that moment on, you really tried to be in the moment. You went downstairs and made small talk with Ashley, who you actually really liked, and you stayed close to your mother, but you just wanted to vanish. Your mind kept going back to the Hamptons and how much you wish you’ve taken Ransom up on his offer and stayed there. You kept telling yourself that you made the right choice, but the pain you felt made you think differently.

When you got to Harlan’s the next day, you were so emotionally spent that you didn’t even wanna talk about your mother, but you needed to try; if not for you, then for her.

“Harlan, we’ve tried treatment. The problem isn’t the pills...well, that’s part of the problem, but it’s mainly my father. He has everyone in his back pocket and she feels like no one is gonna be in her corner. She isn’t gonna get better until she leaves him, and I don’t know she’ll ever do that,” you sighed in frustration, before taking a sip of your whiskey.

“Is there nothing we can do to get her away from him?”

“She doesn’t like to go on trips without him. She doesn’t like being away from him. At the end of the day, the issue is that she’s too in love with him. Which is something you’d usually want to be the case for your parents, but he doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve her,” you finished solemnly, looking at your shoes.

“Maybe if-”

“Hey, I just wanted to...oh,” Ransom interrupted as he made his way into Harlan’s study. “Didn’t think you’d be busy.”

“You’re here!” Harlan beamed. “I didn’t think you’d come-”

“I just thought we’d talk, but I can-”

“No, you two talk,” you smiled weakly. “Family is important. Harlan, we can continue this later,” you smiled weakly before heading out of the room.

You only made it a few steps before you heard him call after you. “Y/N please!” he begged as he ran after you.

You stopped and took a deep breath before you turned to face him. “What, Ransom?”

“I didn’t know you’d be here...I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. He’s your grandfather, I just didn’t think you’d be here,” you replied softly, looking at everything in the area except Ransom.

“I’m trying my best to respect your wishes, but I fucking miss you so much. I’m so sorry and if you could just-”

“This isn’t the place or the time, Ransom.”

“Then where? When? Tell me what to do, please,” he begged softly, slowly making his way over to you.

“I don’t know. I truly don’t because this hurts too much and I’m just...please don’t touch me,” you sobbed as he wrapped his arm around your waist.

“I miss you, baby,” he repeated softly. “Let’s just go away. We can get the fuck out of here and just-”

“That’s now how it works! We can’t just pretend that life doesn’t-”

“Why can’t we? Why can’t we just pack up and move away. Far, far away and fucking be happy? Be together?”

“Ransom-”

“Just...this doesn’t have to be over. I know I fucked up, okay? This is my fault and I did this to us, but we can still...I can do better,” he promised, tears running down his face as he used his forefinger to lift your chin so that you met his gaze. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Ransom,” you confessed breathlessly.

“Do you wanna-”

“I fucking knew it!” your father snapped, seeing you both in the hallway. “You’re trying to fuck my daughter?! You piece of shit!”

“Dad, stop it!” you snapped in a hushed tone.

“You stay away from her! You’re nowhere near-”

“Nothing happened,” Ransom growled as he clenched his fists.

“Bullshit! I know my little girl! I know her and I know that-”

“You don’t know shit about me!” you interrupted, taking a stand in front of Ransom as if you were protecting him. “You don’t get to talk to him like that! You’re worse than he is, but you’re gonna tell him he’s not worthy of me? Of my love?! Jesus, you fuck anything with a pulse and you think you have the right to talk down to anyone?! What I do or don’t do is none of your fucking business!”

“Sweetheart, he’s no good for you!” your father tried to explain calmly. “He’s just gonna break your heart and-”

“You would know, wouldn’t you? You’ve seen all of his tricks and games up close. You’ve heard the lies he’s told women and fucking laughed, because it’s the same shit you’ve been feeding mom for years!”

“This isn’t the same....I’m not-”

“No, you can go fuck yourself!” you spat, “I’m fucking leaving!”

You only got a few steps away before you felt his strong grip on your arm.

“You’re in no condition to drive, let me at least take you home,” Ransom whispered in your ear.

“I don’t need to-”

“Yes you do, babe. You’re drunk and you’re upset. I’ll take you home and I’ll leave you alone, but please don’t drive yourself. Not when you’re like this.”

Once again you found yourself at the mercy of Ransom Drysdale, because how were you supposed to turn him down when he was genuinely concerned about you? When he was very ready to fight your father for you?

You grabbed your coat and followed him to his car, despite your father’s desperate pleas. You let out an angry and frustrated scream the moment you closed the door to Ransom’s Beamer.

“Where do you wanna go? What do you wanna do?” he asked as he started the car and pulled off.

“I don’t want to exist,” you mumbled, slouching down in your seat as you looked out the window. “Just throw me into a fucking ocean and leave me there.”

“Stop it.”

“What? What do you want? I’m heartbroken over you, I’m stressed out over my family, I’m fed up with school, and I feel alone as hell.”

“You’re drunk and upset,” he huffed, keeping his eyes on the road while resting one of his hands on your lap. “What do you want?”

The words left your mouth before you even had a chance to process them. “You.”

“Sweetheart...don’t. Don’t make me-”

“Ransom, it’s the one thing we’re good at. Fucking. If I can’t have you completely, at least let me have you physically,” you begged.

“You’re not thinking straight-”

“Since when do you care? It’s all just sex to you, right?”

“Don’t. Don’t fucking paint me as some monster when I’m trying-”

“I’m not. I’m really not and I’m sorry. You’re not the issue here, everyone else is. Just...you always make me feel better, Ransom. I just want to feel better.”

You spent that night underneath Ransom, both of you telling each other how much you love the other and telling the other how much you both missed one another. Ransom apologized repeatedly as he kissed away your tears, begging for another chance with you. All you could do was beg him to keep loving you, because even in your drunken state, you couldn’t bring yourself to trust him enough to take him back.

When you woke up the next morning, Ransom was already awake and making breakfast. A small smile came to your face as memories of him making you breakfast in bed over summer started to cloud your memory.

“I was trying to have it ready by the time you woke up,” he chuckled softly as you leaned against the kitchen entry way.

“No, it’s fine. You didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to. I miss making you breakfast...I miss doing things for you.”

“Let’s not do this. It’s Christmas and I don’t wanna argue or cry...I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“Then don’t. Just take me back, Y/N. I made a mistake. A mistake that I can’t take back, but I’ll never make again.”

“This is my fault, I shouldn’t have slept with you last night-”

“Just stop!” Ransom snapped, throwing down the plate of food in his hand. “I don’t do this, Y/N! You know me! I don’t beg, I don’t care if I hurt others, and I don’t care who I piss off or offend! But you...you’re the only person who has ever actually given me a chance and I know... I know I hurt you and I hate myself for it. You can’t say that I don’t care though! I fucked up and I told you! I didn’t lie, I didn’t keep it from you, and I didn’t try to spin it and make it your fault! I’ve owned up to it and I’ve done my best to try and be better! I know I don’t deserve a second chance, but this is something worth fighting for! We’re worth fighting for!” he finished, tears streaming down his face.

“I just can’t do it, Ransom,” you all but whispered.

“What if we take it slow? Like we did over Summer?”

“Ransom-”

“Just hear me out,” he desperately begged. “We can start over and just take it slow. There’s no pressure, you’re free to do whatever you want, and we just go from there. I can earn your trust and you’ll see that I can do better. I can be better!”

“Ransom,” you sighed running your hand through your hair.

“Baby please.”

So, you agreed, because resisting Ransom was the hardest thing you’d ever done. Once again, you kept it a secret, but your father wouldn’t leave you alone about him. After arguing about it for the fourth time, you finally told him to stay out of it and to leave Ransom alone. You understood why everyone wanted you to stay away from him, and hell, you wanted to stay away.

But you loved him.

Ransom was everything you’d ever hoped for and more...when he wanted to be.

You tried not to get too wrapped up and lost in him, but after only a month, you were all about Ransom as if nothing ever happened and it was great. You spent weekends together, he came to visit you on campus whenever he had time, he helped you look for places to live after you graduated (though he wasn’t all that helpful since every place he found was close to him), and he laid off the drugs for the most part.

Yes, for the first 3 months, things felt as if nothing had gone wrong at all. You and Ransom were more in love than before, school was going great, your relationship with your brother was on the mend, and your mother was slowly starting to distance herself from your father.

However, Ransom was a time bomb that was always set to self destruct when things are finally going good.

Maybe it was your fault. You hadn’t responded to his texts, but you were in the middle of an interview to be the assistant to one of the best lawyers in Massachusetts. You’d ignored his call after it was over, but you were so excited to tell him and didn’t want to tell him over the phone. You hadn’t given him a heads up that you were on your way, but you wanted to surprise him with the good news.

So no, upon further review, none of it was actually your fault. Ransom was just Ransom and you should’ve known better.

“Fuck! Hugh, don’t stop!” the bartender from the bar you two had gone to last week begged.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” you screamed, hitting his bedroom door as hard as you could.

“Shit!” he exclaimed, quickly getting to his feet while the bartender tried to cover herself up. “Baby-”

“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me, you piece of shit!” you screamed as tears started to stream down your face. How the fuck was this happening again?

“I know you’re angry but please just-”

“Shut the fuck up and stay away from me! This?! Me and you?! We’re fucking done! Don’t call me, don’t fucking text me, don’t come to see me...we’re done!”

“Just let me explain-”

“I don’t want your fucking explanation! I want you to fuck off!”

��Y/N, please!” he begged, wrapping his arm around your waist and attempting to pull you close.

“Do not fucking touch me!” you yelled, instinctively pulling away from him. “I hate you!”

“You don’t mean that, Y/N. Please just hear me out,” he sobbed, reaching for you again.

“Ransom, I swear to God, you fucking touch me again and I’ll kill you,” you warned, your anger reaching levels you didn’t think were possible.

“Sweetheart-”

“No, shut the fuck up,” you sobbed in a menacing tone. “I don’t trust you anymore and I don’t want you anymore. Jesus, fuck, I may be damaged goods, but you...you really take the cake, Drysdale.”

“Don’t be like this! Just talk to me!”

“There’s nothing to talk about! Just stay away from me! Stay far the fuck away from me!” you yelled at him before walking out and slamming his front door shut.

That was almost 3 months ago and since then you’ve avoided Ransom to the best of your ability.

Well, almost to the best of your ability.

You hadn’t blocked or deleted his number, you hadn’t blocked him on any of your social media accounts; you constantly went to all of his hangout spots in hopes that you’d just catch a glimpse of him. No, you hadn’t responded to any of his calls, texts, or acknowledged any of his advances, but you also hadn’t really pushed for him to leave your life all together. You still have your photos from the Hamptons, and how the fuck were you supposed to just erase him when you’re unable to forget?

Besides, it’s not like Ransom was any better.

He knew how to play your father like a fiddle, so you knew that it wouldn’t be long before Ransom found a way to get his forgiveness. You knew your father did love you, and his anger towards Ransom was pure, but your father also liked to pretend that he was still in his 20’s. Ransom could get him girls half his age and the best drugs.

Your father was putty in his hands.

Ransom came by your parent’s place every other day, if only just to get a glimpse of you. Most of the times he was smart enough to stay away from you. He knew you’d lose your shit on him without hesitation.

However, when he caught you at your most vulnerable, he had to try. You both knew he was playing dirty in the same way you both knew nothing was beneath Ransom when he really wanted something.

And God, he wanted you.

He succeeded only once.

You’d been in your room crying because for another weekend you couldn’t bring yourself to spend it on campus. You were in fear of seeing him if you went out, just like you were in fear of seeing him with someone else. So you just hid out in your childhood bedroom, crying to ‘Used to Like’ by Neon Trees.

“Y/N?” he asked timidly, making his way into your room in the middle of the night.

“Jesus, what the fuck do you want, Ransom?” you sobbed wiping your eyes, sitting up.

“I heard you crying and I-”

“So what? I’m not yours to worry about. Get out.”

“Baby-”

“Enjoy another night out of hooking up and getting fucked up?”

“I didn’t do anything with anyone, babe.”

“That’s right!” you smiled sarcastically at him, your tears still running freely. “You can only fuck other women when you’re dating me!”

“Sweetheart, if you could just-”

“Stop calling me pet names!” you quietly hissed at him, not wanting to wake your mother. “Is this fun for you?! Fucking with my head? Seeing me like this?!”

“You know it’s not!” he quickly responded, closing the door behind him before making his over to your bed. “I don’t know...there’s no excuse for what I did...how I am. I’m so scared of fucking this up that all I ever do is fuck things up, but I swear I don’t want to. You’re right, I do take the cake for damaged goods, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to be someone else you can’t depend on because you’re my whole fucking world. I swear to God, Y/N...” he finished softly, his own eyes welling with tears. “I love you.”

“Please stop, Ransom. Just leave me alone, if you really love me-”

“I do, baby. So fucking much. A better and stronger man would stay away and respect your wishes, but I’m neither of those things. How can I stay away when we both feel the same way?”

‘You once told me I was all you had, I guess I know life and it doesn’t work like that’ the song played softly in the background.

Maybe it was because you missed him so much, or maybe it was because it had been so long since you’d done anything. Hell, maybe it was simply just because you loved him and you’d never be able to stop, no matter how foolish it made you feel. Whatever the reason was, you gave into him that night. The feeling of him deep inside of you while he pressed soft and feverish kisses all of over had you feeling better than you thought it would.

For just a moment in time, you and Ransom had each other again and everything felt right.

However, morning came quicker than either of you would have liked, and you were kicking him out of your bed before 10am.

From that day on, he didn’t give up, which is why you’re currently sitting on your bed, listening to ‘Heart-Shaped Box’ by Nirvana while reading Edgar Allen Poe’s, ‘The Tell -Tale Heart’. You know it’ll only be a matter of time before he’s at your door, and you really don’t have any fight left in you anymore.

“We gonna do this again or are you finally ready to take me back?” Ransom asks, barging into your room just as ‘I Hate Myself For Loving You’ by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts begins playing.

The universe truly does love making jokes at your expense.

“You’re not even knocking before harassing me now? That sucks,” you mutter, your eyes on your book.

“Y/N, just stop it okay? You told me a month ago that you love while we made love on that very bed!”

“You were fucking me, Ransom. I have a tendency to be way too honest with you when you’re deep inside me, which is my pussy and heart are off limits to you from now until forever.”

“Stop it! Stop acting like-”

“Acting like what?!” you finally snap, slamming your book shut and throwing it across the room. “Acting like you broke my heart? Acting like us doing this stupid little dance doesn’t hurt? Or acting like that no matter what, you still own my heart? What exactly would you like for me to stop doing?!”

“You know I love you-”

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! NOT ANYMORE!” you scream, not caring who hears you two. “One time is a mistake! But two?! I caught you two that night! You can’t fucking lie your way out of it or make it seem like I’m overreacting, because I’m not! You wanted me to trust you, and I did! You wanted me to be with you, and I was! You wanted me to love you freely, and like a fucking idiot, I did! I didn’t cheat on you! I didn’t break the promises I made to you!” you scream, doing your best to hold back your tears.

“Y/N...I can’t be the man you need me to be here! I just fucking can’t! They won’t let me and-”

“They?! Who the fuck is they?!”

“My family! My friends! Everyone-”

“Oh fuck off! You’re almost fucking 30! You make your own choices and you need to stop trying to live up to everyone else’s expectations! What about me?! What about what I want?!”

“You don’t get it,” he sighs, frustrated with himself and the situation. “Too much has happened here and I can’t...I can’t change if I stay. If you would please just-”

“I’m done doing things to make you happier and your life easier! I do like it here! I like my favorite coffee place, I like Massachusetts, I like being able to see my mother whenever I want. I like my life here! No, it’s not fucking perfect, and thanks to you and a few other people, it’s got some fucking dark memories for me, but it’s still home! Why do we have to leave for you to choose me over everyone?!”

“I do choose you over everyone!”

“You very clearly don’t!”

“I bought the fucking house, Y/N!” he shouts, throwing his hands up in defeat. “The fucking house and the fucking boat...I bought it! It’s ours and it’s ready to live in! You just have to say you’ll go with me and we’re gone,” he finishes softly, his own tears coming as his exhaustion becomes apparent.

“You...you did what?” you questioned, dumbfounded, taking a few steps back.

“I bought it last month right after we-”

“Why would you do that? Wha...why?!”

“I want to be with you! I want to make this work and be the man you deserve, but this place....Y/N, I just can’t here, but if we leave, just fucking pack our shit and go, I can start over. We can start over and be together. Really be together! No sneaking, no lying, no distractions, no-”

“Ransom, I can’t just leave! I have school-”

“You’re graduating in less than a month! You think they don’t need lawyers in the Hamptons? Hell, half the people there are lawyers!”

“Ransom...no. No, I can’t-”

“Why not? Why can’t we just-”

“Because it doesn’t work like that! This is not a healthy relationship-”

“But it can be,” he pleads. “Just...trust me. I know I don’t deserve it and I know it’s asking a lot, but baby please, just trust me.”

You sit on the edge of your bed, a million thoughts racing through your head. The words he said to you the night before he asked you to go to the Hamptons with him still echoed inside your mind; the words you were supposed to be too drunk to remember.

“I wish I could just take you away with me and we could start over,” he cooed softly in your ear, as you slowly started to give in to sleep. “We could have something real and I could be someone you could be proud of. I wish I wasn’t a fuck up and such a coward. Maybe then I could tell you all of this when you’re sober, so you’d know how much I mean it. Fuck, you have no idea how bad I wanna be someone who’s worthy of your time. Worthy of your love. Love,” he scoffed, wrapping an arm around your waist, “something I never believed in until you came along. Pretty sure I’ve never loved anyone outside of my family, but now...I’m pretty sure I love you, Princess. And that scares the shit out of me.”

What are you supposed to do? Yes, he’s hurt you and you don’t know how much more you can tolerate, but...he bought the house. He bought the house and he really is making his best effort. The best that he knows how.

“Baby, please,” he begs again, getting on his knees. “Just say yes and we can go. We can leave all of this behind, and just be happy.”

You sit there blank faced and dumbfounded because you truly don’t know whether to listen to your head or your heart. As Ransom looks up at you with tears streaming down his face, and desperately pleading eyes, you have to make a decision. Do you make the pain go away by running off with Ransom and trying again (for the third time) or do you make the safe and smart play by standing your ground and staying where you are?

As you stare back at him, you know you’re both wondering the same thing: love or safety? Forgiveness or goodbye?

Part 2

taglist: @fuckingbye, @maroonsunrise83, @whxre4cevans, @sweetflowerdreams

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