#It would be so fucking funny like. Can you imagine the absolute chaos that would cause. I love for it

[kyri45]

✨ShadowPeach Bio Parents Bio AU Q&A! 28/09✨

Welcome to the Q&A! A space where I can answer related or similar question about the Shadowpeach Bio Parents AU! If you submitted your ask anonimously, then you’ll have to check the whole post if it’s answered here, if it’s not, worry not! Your asks might have been used for a future comic or just in the queue~

Anonimo ha chiesto: I am going to ask you to make a difficult decision… freenoodles or Shadowpeach

(Freenoodles, in my opinion, is just barely better than shadowpeach. Just because of how gay they are in season five. I mean, look at them and tell me they aren’t married.)

Sooo I go with shadowpeach. Freenoodle is like my comfort shit. so many cute and funny shenanigans, for me they are just the married couple who would probably have the healtiest of the relationship. They have teh experience, they went already throught all the "obliviouss-ness" and the "what if they don't love me" yadda yadda.

But Shadowpeach. Ow man. I thought the ineffable housband ship was complex. but god. oh god. how wrong I was. like- these two went from friends, to brothers, to lovers, to enemies, to friends again and to be lover again. They fucked up so much nothing will ever be the same. But they still weak for each other. They are at each other throat and also they know the other in the most intimate way. they are immortal. One of them fucking killed the other. They thought the other left them and betrayed and went both drama to forget (one choose found family, the other murder but anyway-)

Like- WHAT SHIP CAN BE MORE COMPLEX THAN THIS?????

Anonimo ha chiesto: Does MK have a favorite between his bio parents

oUH NO POOR MONKEYS. He doesn't, but he has a favourite depending on the context. Like, for training he prefers Macaque because he explains a lot better than Wukong, but sparring with Wukong is much funnier, but he prefers Macaque scratches and grooming, but he loves Wukong squeezing hugs, etc...

Anonimo ha chiesto: You know, I just realized something. So you know how people in the fandom give Macaque lotus nicknames since his ears kind of resemble lotus flowers. Well since MK has both Wukong and Macaque's ears that kind of makes MK's ears resemble Peace Lilies (which is kind of ironic since MK is the Harbinger of Chaos)

Aww I guess they do look like them!

Anonimo ha chiesto: I may sound a little to mean but Mk din't suspect a thing aout macaques eye? he has multiple forms were his eye is a cross i mean, i would think smt happend to that eye but that just me uu I LOVE UR ART IT MAKES ME WANT TO KMS /POS

He surely suspected something happened to Mac eye but he didn't know how that happened.

@queen-of-purple-roses ha chiesto: I have a question and you don’t have to answer it if you don’t have too; since we’ve seen Macaque feel guilty with how he treated MK in the past, does Monkey King feel guilty about all the dangerous moments that MK was put in, since most if not all of the fighting ends up on MK’s plate and not Wukong’s.

Oh absolutely, the more time passes he feels more and more guilty.

@catbox730 ha chiesto: Can we get more MK and Red Son please

mayyyyyybe. If you guys behave

Anonimo ha chiesto: It would be funny seeing MK‘s dads going to a doctor with him for like getting his wisdom teeth removed or something xD

The parents being extremely worried that something will go wrong while MK is super chill. When the dentist comes out of the operating room they grab him and ask him if he survived while MK is just eating ice cream post-surgery.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Will MK ever fight against one of his parents in a serious battle ? Or be forced to fight one of them ?

mmm. Probably. Maybe in the future they have a discussion. Nothing maybe too serious. But not in the AU plans.

What is Wukongs and/or Macaques biggest nightmare(s) I imagine it would be something like seeing MK die or sacrificing himself again or something like that

I think Wukong is more terrified of being alone. So actually I think it would be worse for him that MK doesn't want to see him anymore.

Anonimo ha chiesto: so who is going to be MK‘s hero that he worships ? I don’t know if he still sees Monkey king in that way after finding out that he is basically his dad and hearing the past the fight with Macaque….

Maybe he wont have any hero. Maybe worshipping someone is not such a healthy thing to do. ( I'm not talking in a religious way of course, I meant worshipping a living normal person)

@emmais333 ha chiesto: Love your MK art. One question how many fights from Wukong and Mac does MK overhear on accident

He heard the first one (and the past one through the vision) then Wkong and Mac started to teleport far away enough so he wont be able to hear them discuss.

Anonimo ha chiesto: What if MK catches Mac and Wukong in the act, not visually, but audibly, like hearing it when going to flower feuit mountain, finding the monkeys in a pile, all traumatized. Or is it too soon? Do they get drunk enough to not care? Do they even drink?

in the....act? (sorry I don't understand stuff if it's not explicited said, like I can't understand double meanings if that was what you meant)

Anonimo ha chiesto: I LOVE YOUR STORY, REALLY!!!! I reread a lot. So lovely. And the Baby MK, I just want to hug so badly 🥺 ( I think Macaque become Protecting mode and he won't let me do it. ) You draw Baby MK so so so cute. My heart can't handle it.❤️ Maybe it's a terrifying idea but I would like know your thoughts. I think that Macaque sleeps very quietly, like a man in a coffin.  + Macaque fell into a very deep DEEP sleep. (maybe because he was tired from fighting demons to protect Baby MK or get injured or something?) = How do you think Sun Wokung will react?

o my god NO DON'T GIVE HIM AN HEARTH ATTACK (heloses one of their immortalities for having the most horrrendous of jumpscares)

@raspberrymixin ha chiesto: AHHH I LOVE YOU SHADOW PEACH BIO AU OMG ITS TO FREAKEN CUTEEEE AAHH I just melt into a puddle! Love you art and make sure to take breaks- anyway- I find it cute how redson interacts with MK I can just imagine him giving him stuff and little gifts and Mk just confused on why but takes it anyway because of friendship and maybe a sign he's trusting more- but MK is just oblivious to the courting- And maybe redson would ask Wukong, Macaque, Tang or pigsy to allow it maybe? And I also love the slow burn! It's just cute on how Macaque and Wukong make each other blush! Awww it's just to cute! I hope you're doing amazing and have a good night/day

Oh man MK would not be able to read a single clue and just think it's a symbol of friendship or wathever. O my god he really did take from his parents (all of them)

fayeangel25 ha chiesto: YOUUU UFUFFHH WHEN I GET YOUUUUU anyways, I wanna see wukong asking macaque about the story of him and mac ( after mamacaque storytelled his lil baby mk ) , cuz i wanna see more flustered macaque!!! Also, 👏 EATING 👏 THIS 👏 AU 👏 UP!!

Hehe he would be a little shy about it. But Macaque is a theater kid so for a bigger audience I guess he would do it.

Anonimo ha chiesto: I feel like I’m new here. What is Court napping?

Consensual Kidnapping with the intend of flirting with another demon.

Anonimo ha chiesto: How many people want to court MK now that he is a real stone monkey AND the son of Wukong and Macaque ?

mmm. Only people close to MK knows that he's the bio kid of shadowpeach. So for now only Red Son

Anonimo ha chiesto: I bet PIF would try to wait for MK to lose the good guy ‘phase’ since she went through that before lmao (forget being good, convert to villainy in the name of love)

Awwww she would!!! But MK is just too good hearted to hurt a fly. (yeah I know he technically has a kill count still-)

Anonimo ha chiesto: MK would obviously call Pigsy "Papa" so what would MK call Tang and Sandy?

I think he would actually call Pigsy "dad" since it's what he calls him that in the show. Maybe it's Tang that gets to be called Papa. I think Sandy is more like an uncle.

@mage-of-words ha chiesto: When will Wukong purpose to Macaque?

WOW- HOLD ON THERE. LET HIM TAKE HIM TO DINNER FIRST.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Omg I wonder if Macaque and Monkey King ever saw MK get really hurt during a battle with a new demon. RIP the Demon bc two feral Monkeys are after them now bc they hurt their kid.

Them to said demon: So you have choosen.... death.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hear me out, Mac and Wukong in a get along shirt for a day (lost a bet to MK and he planned this too) LOVE YOUR ART TOO ITS SO SCRUMDIDDLYUMPTIOUCIOUS

this is an old ask, sorry for taking so long to answer. But I would say that at this point of the story Wukong would probably be at cloud 9 being squished to super soft macaque all day. Macaque would be like a kitten undecided on wheter he loves or hate the situation (doesn't really likes un-warned physical touch.

Anonimo ha chiesto: Hoi there, I found you again! (Following you on Insta as well because your art is awesome ^^)

Reading your LMK ShadowPeaches comics and they are fun. And now my brain can't help but make up scenarios, one like this one. Oh my, MK is a cute little baby! (^///^) Oh my, MK is a little baby!! ('O_O) Welp, Pigsy is going to kill someone unless Wukong gives baby MK into his arms to calm down and be busy being a dad than a raging Hulk. (:P) Also, I imagine MK accidentally shrinking himself, (Wukong decided to play hide and seek with it only to later on regret it). Wukong would freaking out about it, and Macaque then shook him violently while yelling into his face for losing MK. Then out of Nowhere, Nezha shows up at the door frame and be like 'Um, hey guys. Is this yours?' Points at his nose where tiny baby bean MK was, clinging onto Nezha's nose while giggling.

askjajvbks that's a lovely scene! Unfortunately Nehza can't know yet about MK, but maybe he will...

@lara-legomonkiekid 💜:Hey! I'm here to ask permission!Can I make an art Drawing of your Bio parents AU Meeting One of my AU's?Please?(Mostly Suposed to be Meeting One of my OC's!) (Love Your Art and Comics!!!!)(⁠◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕⁠✿⁠)(⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)

Yeah sure! just be sure to tag me and link the masterpost of the AU

Anonimo ha chiesto: I find it funny how your shadowpeach bio au came from a joke and now.....wow Your art is amazing

My friend even tried to warn me. BUT I DIDN'T LISTEN

Anonimo ha chiesto: I need Freenoodles talking late at night about MK's new situation Will they be worried? Happy? I don't think Pigsy will take it very well that just when he and MK accepted each other as Father and Son, he is (partly) taken away by his biological dads.

Pigsy was mostly worried that Wukong or Macaque would hurt in any way MK. Both ahim and Tang after they saw how much the 2 care about MK calmed down, still they just hope they don't mess up things.

Anonimo ha chiesto: parenting it not just about having fun with your children, but also making sure there are boundaries even if the child isn’t happy about it. So, how would it go if Macaque and Wukong would try to ground MK 😂

MK is a little old for being grounded I think but if they were to do it maybe with something like no training for a week or smt. He's still an adult (i know we sometimes forget)

Anonimo ha chiesto: MK trying to prank his parents and wake them up with a loud instrument or sound. MK forgetting he has sensitive hearing 💀

reverso uno card

Anonimo ha chiesto: Would wukong or MK help macaque in his drawings if he asked ���� or if they tried to help him improve

Awww they would!!! Actually what if this creative side of him was something he kind of inherted from Wukong?

[its-a-me-mango]

I hope that if they ever decided to bring back Mr Puzzles that there isn't like a whole arc or whatever about him making a comeback. I hope he just shows up in a Mario reacts to Nintendo memes video or something like that completely out of no where and it's never explained why he's back.

[vyglitchcraft]

Since requests are open, can you write for havik, shao, Scorpion and sub zero with a size kink SFW and NSFW headcanons? ʕʘ‿ʘʔ

YES BITCH I WILL, you have good taste in men hot DAMN also yes putting their canon heights just so you can imagine it (atleast before MK1 assuming they didn't change the height)

Sizing Up (18+)

MK1 Shao, Havik, Bi-Han, Kuai Liang x gen!reader size kink headcanons

Warning: Havik's section has mentions of gore and more extreme fetishes

General Shao (7'2 ft)

SFW

This hunk of muscles love to show off his build, he is VERY proud of it. Like the type of douchebag in the gym that would flex in front of the mirror type of guy. And you love every second of it

He likes to show off, that's just a thing that Shao likes in every timeline. He likes to pick you up and just point out how small and light you are, how you're lucky to have him because someone can just pick you up and run off with you

He's a bit of a jerk but you should expect that when you dated him. He constantly teases you about your height and he'll make sure you will NOT forget that you're short. Jars on the highest shelf, every lid is screwed on a bit TOO tight, you can't seem to find any stools to stand on so that means only one thing, you're forced to ask him for help and he would HAPPILY do it with a shit eating grin on his face

He LOVES it when you do a size comparison between you and him, especially with your hands, he thinks its so precious that he can just hold both of your hands with only one of his

He went FERAL when he saw you in his clothes

NSFW

When i say this man is huge EVERYWHERE i mean it, you wouldn't be exaggerating when you compare it to your arm.

"Are you sure? I could break you" is something he constantly says. He loves to lay his cock right on top of your stomach, just admiring just how deep he could reach. Heck it scares you sometimes too, i mean who wouldn't?

But all those feelings are gone when you feel that delicious stretch as he slowly pushes his cock into you. He loves to compare you to a sex toy just because he could just hold your torso with one hand and just use you. He is VERY degrading in bed but god does he love you too.

"So pathetic, did it reach your brain too? Look at me while i use you" even when the two of you are doing it sitting down, you only reach his chest.

He loves to see the outline of his cock on your stomach, he's amazed that someone as small as you can take something that big.

You're practically getting tossed around from position to position, you're gonna get manhandled like a sack of potatoes

Havik (6'4 ft)

SFW

Also messes with you but more just because it causes chaos. Although he doesn't care about his height unlike Shao, he is absolutely fixated by the fact that you're so small compared to him. He thinks you're adorable and wants to bite your head off.

Chews on your hair. You're probably the perfect height for him to lay his head on top of yours. Your hair gets into his mouth sometimes and he likes chewing on it.

He likes to hold onto you, he wants you to carry him around because he thinks it's funny that someone THAT small can carry a man his height. So yes you're here giving this man a piggy back ride while he chews on your hair. Look don't expect maturity from HIM of all people.

Also likes to carry you everywhere and put everything (including you) on a really high shelf, why? Because chaos.

"I can throw you" "Havik WHY" "what if i throw you across the arena so you can attack people from behind" "WHY WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT"

He's big but he acts like he's small, he either is NOT aware of his height or just does it to mess with you, could be both.

NSFW

Cute aggression but kinky. That's all i can say about him.

But anyway he likes to point out certain details that just make you want to cover your face. He appreciates that you're so easily pinned down. Your feet aren't touching the ground if you're getting fucked on a table or some other random surface.

Please be warned, the man has no filter. His dirty talk is explicit and isn't for the faint of heart.

Goes fucking FERAL when he sees your stomach bulging from his cock. How you can barely handle anything yet you do, easily too. He loves it. "I wonder if i pull out fast enough, i could pull your intestines inside out"

"I can feel myself hitting your lungs, do you like it?" he's exaggerating but he loves how you're basically choking from the pleasure. Although if you're genuinely uncomfortable or hurt, he will stop. As chaotic as he is, he doesn't want to see you hurt or at worst die.

Loves it when you're the dominant one though. He's a switch. He likes it when someone weak like you can overpower him (if you can't, he likes to pretend) you can do anything to him, he can regenerate any part of his body.

Bi-Han (6'2 ft)

SFW

Overbearing as fuck. He treats you like you're just this small vulnerable rabbit. He feels the need to always protect you, i mean someone your size surely can't protect themselves right? That's why you have him! If you think he's overprotective, he's even more so when you're small

You're a porcelain doll to him, one wrong move and you'll be hurt. Although he's very gentle, he's also like a predator, almost a yandere. You're spoiled, he's the grandmaster, who's gonna stop him from using the Lin Kuei's money for you. But you ain't gonna do shit without him "protecting" you

Since every ninja is around 6'2 (except Tremor and Reptile i think) so you bet your ass you can't reach shit but don't worry, Bi-Han is there to help you. You won't be lifting a finger when he's around.

Oh but don't think he's all soft, his anger is fucked. He uses his size to intimidate people, standing behind you like a shadow. Or having you on his lap like a pet.

Your size means you're also easily movable. He uses this to his advantage to just carry you around or pick you up if he needs you.

NSFW

Again, predator/prey. He absolutely takes advantage of the fact that you're so weak compared to him. The way he can make you whine with one of his fingers, gives him an ego boost. "I can't wait to stretch you to the limits"

Everything about him screams possessive and the fact that you look so small and weak compared to him makes it even worse. The fact that he can just wrap his hand around your whole neck. The fact that you cry every time he fucks you, he lives for it.

He'll pin you down, bite you, everything that you'll love today but regret tomorrow. His grip is bruising but no worries, he'll make sure to take care of you after it. His hands would be cold enough to soothe the pain

Seeing you grip onto him, how he overpowers you and you're hugging him as if he's the only person that could keep you safe. God he could go another round just from seeing it.

Kuai Liang (6'2 ft)

SFW

Not as obsessive as his brother, he's respectful. He loves you and he'll make sure you know it. He wants you to feel protected but not scared. Although he discourages you from fighting because he's scared that you'll get overpowered.

He's pretty self aware about his height but he won't make it your problem.

He LOVES it when you wear his clothes or any oversized shirt. He just wants to choke you with his chain and hug you until you can't breathe.

He likes to hold your face with both of his hands and just squish your cheeks. His hands pretty much cover your face. Oh and he doesn't mind carrying you everywhere he goes, it's embarrassing but if you want him to do it, he'll handle the teasing, as long as you're happy.

Does that thing where he just puts his hands on your face, grabbing your head like a basketball. He isn't really thinking about anything, he just does it sometimes. Also accidentally gained the reflex of having to crouch just to go face to face with you. Yes its a bit degrading but he'll snap out of it and go back to his normal position.

NSFW

The fact that you're so light and small compared to him makes it so easy for him to just pin you against a wall. He loves the sense of power that he has over you. You're so vulnerable and he could just defeat you.

To his dismay, he's pretty similar to his brother but much more merciful and less degrading. "So small, so weak, i could just break you"

He would tie you up with his chains and just let you warm up his cock, his big arms wrapping around your neck while he studies in his room. His hand would wander down, cupping your stomach or thighs. Feeling your head lean back on his chest while you beg for him to move.

In his mind, you're like a pocket pussy, a cute toy but he would never mention it. He has a filter but his mind does not. He would love to see you beg that he's too big, that it hurts, your hole not closing up after he's done with you, he wants to see it but he would never say it to you, its too embarrassing.

Your small frame when you go all limp after a session looks so adorable that he just wants to hold your hips down and use you until you're all loose and open. "I'll mold you into my shape, i need you to be mine" he pants out, biting your shoulder, he really is similar to his brother even if he denies it.

[boytearscore]

i dare you to try. — chris sturniolo.

summary: you finally decided to join a car video with the triplets after years of them trying to convince you to, but when the topic “who’s more stubborn, you or chris?” is brought up, things take a peculiar turn in which chris is sure he can be the first guy you beg for, so you dare him to try.

warnings: fem!dom, chris!dom, smut, teasing, foreplay, swearing, choking, orgasm denial, size kink, bdsm.

taglist: @chericherrybaby, @fratbrochrisgf, @sturncakez <33

author’s note: so... funny story, girls... i got home from work last night and started writing but fell asleep with my phone on my face. hope you can forgive me, though. anyways, enjoyyy! xo 💋💋💋

𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 (𝟸/𝟸)

friday night, 9pm. 

you smile excitedly as you are getting ready to a party at the triplets house, eyes and hands are focused on the eyeliner, red lipstick already highlighting the lips and a black short dress moulding your curves. on top of that, underneath it, you were wearing orange lingerie. chris favorite colour, was it a little petty? yes, but you’re not about to lose this dare. absolutely no fucking way.

when you finished recording the video with them, nick had the idea of throwing a party the next day, he wanted to see chaos between you and chris for his own entertainment and so did matt. chris, on the other hand, has already been sending you risky texts and some pictures of his covered hard dick and other parts of the body he knew you were attracted to with captions like “give up already.” and “can’t wait to hear you beg and moan my name.”

you ignored all of it just to give him the impression you were threatened and shy when in reality, there was a whole plan ready to be put in action since he opened his mouth.

finally, you’re done. everything looked impeccable: hair falling over your chest that was mostly exposed by the dress cleavage, a pair of black tights that were connected to the lingerie and black leather boots that went to your knees, not to mention you smell incredible.

after checking yourself one more time in the mirror, a smirk painted in your lips, chris was not ready for that. 

it was 10:30pm when you arrived at their house, loud music playing and people everywhere dancing, drinking and even throwing up.

you calmly go through the crowd of people when a pair of hands suddenly grab your hips pressing both bodies and you feel lips into your ear. the person didn’t even need to say anything, you could tell who it was by their scent.

“ready to be my little slut?” you feel the hot breath caressing your skin and the deep voice with a stupid cocky chuckle.

“not even in your dreams, christopher.” you reply, turning to him. matt and nick behind him laughing, that’s definitely the most fun they’ve been having in a while.

he smirks and you couldn’t stop yourself from eyeing his body, he has a black tank top that was complimenting his collar bones, shoulders and abdomen. 

and chris would notice you savouring him, but he was too busy staring at your boobs. his mind racing with the thoughts of cumming all over them.

“it feels like i’m watching a porn without the sex part, just the eyes.” matt says and you both break glances at each other laughing.

“is no one gonna grab me a drink?” you ask, rolling your eyes and nick give you a “excuse me?” look.

“you’ve been here more than our parents, go get it yourself.” he replies and you just shrug.

“fucking worst host ever.” you murmur making sure he heard before going to the kitchen and opening the fridge, all you could think of was chris.

he looked so hot wearing that damn black tank top, why didn’t you notice how attractive he was before the bet? it’s like a blindfold was taken away from your eyes, you imagined him on his knees, pleading and whimpering in front of you. things got even more interesting now.

you grab a drink and take a huge sip, ignoring the burning feeling in your throat and walking again through the people, some you knew, some not. you danced either way, a few guys eyeing you from afar and then one came behind you, dancing.

“you alone?” he whispered into your ear and you smiled, turning to him and grabbing his hands to dance.

“always.” he smiles back at you, rolling you around and grabbing your hips. you started dancing, he was cute and really hot.

that didn’t last much, though. 

someone abruptly grabbed your hand, making you look behind you with an angry expression. 

“today you’re not.” 

it was chris.

the guy just stared at chris and vanished away not wanting any trouble, you glance at the blue eyed boy, giving him the dirtiest look.

“what?” he shrugs, smiling. “i’m not sharing you with anyone today, whether you like it or not.”

you give him an eye roll but you’re not mad, it’s not like that guy was hotter than chris anyway.

“don’t ever grab my hand like that again.” you tell him with a serious face and he just nods, looking apologetic. “only if i allow you to.”

you get closer to him, wrapping your arms around his neck and rocking your body to the music. chris instantly smiles, his hands pressing hard on your hips. your fingers running to his hair, and you can’t help but push them back making him gasp.

“you’re such a menace.” he whispers, a hand sliding to your ass and turning you around.

you could feel everything, his hips crushing into yours and his dick getting harder everytime you brushed your ass while dancing. part of your plan was working and you didn’t even get started yet.

you turn to chris and place your hand around his neck, nails scratching it slightly causing him goosebumps.

he couldn’t resist the temptation, grasping your back and leaning in for a kiss, but you stopped him with a finger on his lips.

“not yet.” you smirk at him and he stares at you confused. “just shut your mouth and just follow me, or you won’t be having any fun tonight.” he thinks for a while and nods, not saying anything, the finger drawing a straight line down from his lips to his collar, dragging him upstairs.

when you both get to his room, he closes the door and throws you on the bed, getting on top of your body and pressing his torso against you.

you smirk, just watching him trying his best to be dominant, suddenly, his hand slid underneath your dress, touching slightly your inner thigh. you let out a small sigh, his hand was so warm and it felt so good.

“look at ya.” he mumbled into your ear, moving his hand closer to your pussy. “i’m not doing anything yet and you’re already gasping.”

you don’t say anything, just letting him play his game before yours starts. chris chuckles, amused by your unusual reaction, that motivated him to keep going.

his face close to yours, eyes staring at your lips before shutting them down and brushing both slightly against each other.

you wrap your arms around his neck, messing with his hair and he finally kisses you. not a gentle kiss, an obscene one. tongues fighting and wet sounds, chris can’t help but moan when he feels your nails digging on his back. 

his hand finally touches your pussy covered by the lingerie and you moan biting his bottom lip. he laughs, breaking the contact and looks at you, usually that would be the perfect moment for a cocky comment, but he couldn’t fight the urge to tear apart your black tights and pull the dress to your waist, revealing the orange lingerie.

he’s stunned by a second, moving away from your body to take a better look.

“you fucking bitch.” he says, grabbing your chin and bringing you close to his face agresseviely. “you did this on purpose, didn’t you? to tease me.” he asks while using the other hand to undress you completely. “you’re such a slut, ya know that?” he throws you again on the bed, an expression on his face you’ve never seen before.

you smile, opening your legs in front of him and looking beneath lashes, still not saying anything. too bad for chris, but you knew him more than himself. he loves to talk shit and act all nonchalant, but he hates when people don’t engage or ignore it.

chris frowned, staring between your legs and to drive him even more mad, you placed a hand on your inner thigh, slowly going up until it got to your pussy, your fingers teasing it over the lingerie and moaning and making faces while staring intensely at his eyes.

the boy is speechless, he never got so hard and never felt this urgent need to fuck someone before. the sound of your voice moaning and the way you touched yourself, he was mesmerised by everything.

“chris…” you finally use one of your cards, biting your lips and moaning his name.

he can’t hold himself anymore, chris takes off his shirt and pants, still wearing boxes and walks towards you, the smirk on his face vanished a long time ago, all you could see was pure lust.

“you’re driving me crazy by doing that.” he leans against you, using one knee to support himself over the bed, making sure to rub your wet pussy with it. “that’s a dangerous game, i’m warning you.”

you can’t help but laugh, lifting one leg up to reach his dick and rubbing it slowly, his lips parted into a loud moan, tilting his head to the back.

“it seems to me you’re the one about to beg, chris.” for the first time in minutes, you spoke. he immediately looks at you, not liking your comment one bit but feeling his dick twitch.

“that’s rich coming from someone who just moaned my name like a slut.” he replies, grabbing you leg and dragging you to him, now you are completely laid down on the bed, he bends over to reach your waist and slides your panties till your ankle.

“i’m keeping this.” he smirks and throws the orange lingerie on his nightstand. “alright, i’m gonna eat you out till you cum all over my face.” he gets on his knees, leaning closer to your dripping wet pussy. you could feel his breath hitting the sensitive area and that made you shiver. 

“thought you were gonna make me beg.” you say, watching every single move he makes. chris licks your clit without warning, causing loud moans from you. “fuck.”

he laughs, staring at you between your legs, hands spreading them as much as he can.

“no silly, i’m gonna make you beg me to fuck you.” he groaned, finally eating you out deliciously, his tongue alternating between flexing the muscles while inside you and letting it loose when sucking and licking all of it.

you grab his hair violently, pushing it hard while rolling your hips into his mouth. 

chris was getting harder by second, to the point his dick started to hurt a little. he was moaning and eating you out at the same time, the vibrations causing you an insane amount of pleasure.

“fuck, chris.” you whisper, biting your lips to hide how much you were enjoying it. no guy has ever eaten you out like that before.

so much so that you were about to cum into his mouth, your legs started shaking and the grip on his hair got tighter. he notices your body reactions and smirk, licking and sucking even more faster and intensely.

your moans get louder, you feel contractions through your whole body, soon releasing all the pleasure and cumming into chris mouth.

he licks everything, letting your pussy clean and gets on the bed, crawling on top of you. you smiled at him and he could sense something coming but decided to ignore, all he wanted was to hear the magic words from your pretty mouth.

“i bet i’m the first guy to make you cum that fast, huh?” he says finally being face to face with you, his hard covered dick brushing against your bare pussy and both arms on each side of your head, you were so close that you could feel his heartbeats pressed over your chest, he reach your neck, kissing and sucking on it making soft gasps come out of your lips. 

“beg me.” he murmured in your ear, one hand grabbing your boob and squeezing it hard. the pain felt so good, but you’re not about to lose. “beg me to fuck your little pussy.”

he stares at you, his hand going lower until it reaches your core, sliding one finger inside. your back curves, but you smile at him not showing signs of redemption.

and that’s when you decided it’s time.

with a quick move, you revert the positions, thanks to all the self defence classes you took a long time ago, getting a man off top of you wasn’t hard. 

chris was shocked, his eyes widened and his lips suddenly opened like he was about to say something but couldn’t.

“you’ve failed.” you tell him, smirking. both of his hands were on top of his head, held by yours. with an evil expression, you press your ass against his dick and he melts under you. “it’s my turn now.”

you go for his lips first, and even though his ego was bruised by the fact that you could easily turn the situation to your favour, he’s too horny to care.

both lips were crashing hard while tongues enlaced, the grip of your hand holding his writs got even tighter when he started to move them, the other one was slowly creeping to his abdomen, chris moaned and gasp onto your lips and when you finally reached his dick, removing his boxers to expose his hard cock.

and then something slaps your back, making you look behind.

“holy shit.” you opened your mouth, turning yourself completely to make sure you saw correctly. “you’re fucking huge, chris.”

he laughs, finding your reaction cute and sitting on the bed when you let his hands go.

“think you can take it?” he asks and you stare back at him, smiling.

“only if you beg me first.” you reply, grabbing his dick and teasing the tip of it with your finger, chris closes his eyes and moans a curse word. “c’mon..” you whisper, slowly pumping him and his back curves. “beg me.”

“please…” he murmured, avoiding your gaze.

you smirk, feeling your pussy dripping. he looked so fucking hot doing that. 

since chris was sitting, you easily extended your arm to his hair, pulling it hard to make him stare at you.

“say it again.” you order him spreading all the pre cum over the base of his dick and pulling harder his hair, chris was losing his mind at this point.

“please, let me fuck you.” he asks almost politely with his eyes glued on yours, his cheeks were a slight shade of pink and his red glossy lips parted, letting out shaken breaths. 

you don’t answer, just push his shoulders to the bed making him fall and lifting yourself up to get on top of him again, the gaze between both of you was so intense and sexual.

you positioned his cock on your entry, teasing him a little by rolling your hips and chris bite his lip, you didn’t wanted him to fuck you, you wanted to fuck him.

and so you did, sliding his dick slowly inside you with a frown expression and eyes closed.

“does it hurt?” he asks worriedly, grabbing your hips with both hands and fighting the urge to make you jump hard on him.

“yes.” you reply opening your eyes, starting to bounce at a slow pace. “that’s how i like it.”

you feel his dick twitch inside you with your comment, he slaps one of your ass cheeks hard, and you moan loudly.

“you like that, huh?” one more slap, this time harder. you were already bouncing crazy on his dick and both of you were moaning so much that if the loud music wasn’t playing downstairs, everyone would hear. and honestly, none of you cared.

“shit.” chris growns, digging his short nails on your waist. you leaned a little to wrap your finger around his throat and he closes his eyes, gasping. 

“so much for a dom.” you say with a shaky voice from the bouncing, tightening the grip around his neck.

he doesn’t say anything, his mind was fuzzy and raced. all he could do was moan and whimper loudly. 

the twitches got stronger and you could tell he was about to cum.

“gonna cum?” you ask him and he nods desperately, but then you stop moving. he looks at you, a mixture of annoyance and pleasure. “say you’re my little slut, chris.” you incline over, rolling your hips in slow motion and biting his bottom lip. “say it.”

he lets out a huge sigh with the painful feeling of holding an orgasm, his eyes locked into yours, a few hair strands falling over them and sweat dripping from his forehead.

“i’m your little slut.” he whispers, pressing his hands hard on your waist.

you smile at him, finally moving faster. chris feels the lack of oxygen with the combination of an insane amount of pleasure get to his head. he looks at you like he’s about to say something and you notice his hesitation.

“what?” 

“can i please cum on your boobs?” he avoids your gaze again and you feel like squeezing his cheeks, finally you nod. bouncing a couple more times and when he finally starts shaking, you get off of his lap, sitting on your knees.

chris gets up, he tries to grab his own dick, but you slap his hand.

“who the fuck said you could touch yourself?” you smirk, leading a hand wrap around his cock and begins to leisurely pump, chris tilts his head back, coming all over your boobs while you could capture every detail, his husky voice and his dick twitching uncontrollably while lots of cum shower your boobs, you made sure to get it all to your fingers and lick until there’s nothing left there.

slowly, his moans got quieter and he finishes cumming. he looks down at you, smiling and lending you a hand to get up, you smile back and grab his hand getting up.

“i fucking hate you.” he groans, pushing you closer to him by the hand and you laugh.

“that’s what someone who just lost a bet would say.” you reply and give him a little peck, he just rolls his eyes and laughs too.

“i’m doomed.” he slapped himself while you were putting back your dress, making you chuckle.

“don’t worry, my little slut.” you say calmly while putting back your boots. “you’re safe with me.” you say, giving him a wink and grabbing his tank top, throwing it at him. “you should use this more often though.”

chris squinted his eyes and a grin formed on his lips.

“will i fuck you everytime i wear this again?” he asks and you get up, turning to him.

“no, i’m the one who’s gonna fuck you.” 

when you both were properly dressed, chris opens the door so you two could go downstairs, but something was waiting for him right outside.

“i believe you have something to say, chris.” nick and matt were leaned against the wall, arms crossed and lips pressed trying hard not to laugh.

but you can’t control yourself, letting a loud laugh come out of your lips, making them unable to control themselves as well. the only one serious was chris, who rolled his eyes and stared at the three of you, sighing loudly.

“fine…” he groans and turn to you, at least he got the best fuck of his life, so he wasn’t that mad. “i was wrong.”

you, nick and matt burst out laughing again and chris holds in for a while, but soon enough he’s laughing too. 

[theodorenmyth]

can you please do a imagine (i thing thats what its called???) about the reader just absolutely tweaking about losing their vape. like borderline going insane, i feel like that would be funny. (with theodore nott)

A/N ; STOPT HIS REMINDED NE OF THAT ONE LOURD ASPREC VIDEO WHERE AVA LOST HER VAPE

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Vape-loss

Summary ; you lost your vape, and now you're absolutely destroying your room while Theodore just watches.

Pairings ; Theodore Nott x GN!Reader

Warnings) ; none

word count ; 500+

You’re sprawled out on your bed, pretending to listen to Theodore explain the intricacies of his latest potion experiment. Or at least, you’re trying to pretend. Your mind keeps drifting back to one thing: your vape. You’d been using it just a minute ago, but now it’s nowhere to be found. Panic starts to set in.

You shift slightly, your eyes scanning the immediate area around you. You don’t see it. Your heart rate picks up a little. It must have fallen somewhere nearby. You turn over a pillow, not finding it, then lift the edge of your blanket, peeking underneath. Nothing.

“...and then I added a sprig of wolfsbane, which is crucial because—” Theodore’s voice drones on, but you’re barely catching a word.

You sit up suddenly, lifting your blanket and shaking it out. Theodore pauses his explanation, watching you with a raised eyebrow. “What are you doing?” he asks, his tone more curious than annoyed.

“I’m listening, don’t worry,” you assure him quickly, even though your attention is split.

Theodore gives you a dubious look but continues, “Right, so the wolfsbane has to be added at exactly the right moment, otherwise—”

“Okay, wait, be quiet for a second,” you interrupt, your voice a mix of urgency and frustration.

Theodore blinks, taken aback. “Why?”

“I lost my vape,” you say, your tone almost accusatory as if he might be responsible for its disappearance.

Theodore lets out a sigh. “Help me look for it,” you demand, not giving him a chance to respond.

“I don’t know where it is,” he says, but you’re already tearing apart your bed in a frantic search. Pillows go flying, and you flip the mattress up slightly, peering underneath. Still nothing. Your heart races even more.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS MY VAPE?!” you shout, your voice echoing in the small room. Theodore takes a cautious step back, watching you with a mix of fear and amusement.

“Seriously?” he mutters under his breath, shaking his head. “It’s right there,” he finally says, pointing to a spot on the floor where your vape is partially hidden under your discarded hoodie.

You freeze, then let out a relieved sigh. “Oh.”

Theodore’s expression shifts from relief to irritation in an instant. He grabs a pillow and hurls it at your face. “YOU NEED TO GET RID OF THAT DAMN FLAVOURED STICK!”

You catch the pillow, giggling despite the chaos you’ve just caused. “Sorry, Teds.”

He glares at you, but there’s a hint of a smile tugging at his lips. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

You nod, grinning. “I know. But you love me anyway.”

Theodore rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it. “Just... try to keep track of your things. I’m not always going to be here to point out the obvious.”

You mock salute him, still holding the pillow. “Yes, sir.”

“Good,” he mutters. “So, the wolfsbane needs to be added precisely at the right moment. If not, it could—”

“Wait,” you say suddenly, eyes wide with realization.

Theodore looks at you, a mix of frustration and resignation. “What now?”

“I think I left my charger at your place.” You pause, looking at him with pleading eyes.

Theodore lets out a long-suffering sigh. “Merlin, give me strength.”

You giggle, and he can’t help but laugh along, despite himself. “You’re lucky you’re cute,” he says, shaking his head.

“And you’re lucky you love me,” you reply, blowing him a kiss.

[rozeliyawashereyall]

Rewatching @obsidian-lantern vampire series

Eva and Sky my bloodsucking beloveds +a secret third thing at the end.

Click if you dare.

Jk it's just headcanons I made with a few friends on discord

@jaetists I'm doing this for both you and me bestie

For those who don't know I'm using "hon" to refer to the listener, because it's like, the only nickname we got from him and I refuse to use (y/n)

I. You cannot tell me this man is not touch-starved. Used to flinch at the slightest touch of affection, but give him time and he'll start warming up to it

Absolute cuddle bug he is

II. Ngl, he probably isn't the best at social cues since he can't rlly be around people a lot

III. Traumatized and probably a lot of abandonment issues

IV. It was suggested that he kisses minor cuts and bruises on hon, with hand kisses as greetings and goodbyes. Of course I had to include this it's adorable.

V. Frequently uses hon as a personal heater since never actually felt warm because he's always in the dark and because, well, he's a vampire. So he's very drawn to it.

Also switches between little and big spoons—but he's normally the bigger spoon. Mainly because he wants Hon to feel protected, but when he's especially valuable he wouldn't mind being little spoon.

VI. Ticklish behind his ears and ribs, good luck trying to catch him off guard though, your best chance is to attack when he just woke up.

VII. Stargazing dates~

VIII. Weirdly good at long division, but struggles with most other math IX. He has really bad blood circulation, specifically his feet and fingers, but what did we expect honestly he's a vampire. X. Nails grow with a natural point (like a claw), so he cuts them down. XI. Would listen to all and I mean all kinds of music, he’s lived through many decades. Also spends a lot of his free time watching crime documentaries. XII. Cuts his own hair lol no barbershops are open at night. Has probably fucked it up once or twice and cried. Don't worry Eva fixed it for him XIII. Has a strange fascination with old things. He loves going thrifting. He spends like 20 minutes in the clothes section, and a good hour and a half in the antiques. His house is covered in funny looking antiques, and gifts them to people whenever he sees fit XIV. The definition of “I saw this and thought of you so I bought it.” Expect many gifts XV. He really loves scary movies. And speaking of movies! He watches Twilight, thinks it sucks but sometimes watches it unironically when he’s bored.

XVI. He knows how to waltz~ and some other classic ballroom dances. Eva taught him most of them. He's also more than willing to teach honey how to dance as well!

XVII. Makes sure you've eaten and drank water daily—this includes medications ofc

Also just because he's a vampire doesn't mean he won't make sure you're getting enough sleep.

XVIII. Sky can indeed purr, with the reason in one of the doodles

XIX. he's definitely a hobby hoarder, his favourite is painting. I just like imagining him painting sunsets while brooding over not getting to see it (and probably honey)

Thanks @iistxrmyskyii @willowve01 @tiefling-chaos and @lightdragon789 for helping with the headcanons!

[princessfroslass]

Angel Dust has a clear validation problem.

I had been thinking about this ever since episode 2 and episode 6 all but segmented this onto my subconscious.

Angel clearly doesn't care whenever anyone slut shames or just overall insult him- he lives to get a rise out of people. Hell, Hazbin Hotel's VERY FIRST SCENE on the Pilot was him going full "oh yeah slut, very creative." And going after Travis life- but not on a insecure way, he very clearly didn't care. Fast forward to the actual show and it's more of the same- he doesn't care whenever Vaggie or Husk or anyone else threaten him because he enjoys the chaos and it's open about the fact he is only there to no pay rent. He just doesn't care about what others think of him.

Except.... When he does.

You see it's interesting because back on that origin comic (that I don't even know if it's canon anymore but for a characterization point I'll take it.) when Charlie states they need a quest and even pays him for his time (Angel was working on the street when they meet him) and she goes full "this is an investment, on you." He leaves the limo all "oh...ok....sure...." Clearly moved or touched by her faith in him, even though he still thinks it's misguided trust.

Back to episode 2, it's pretty much the anthesis of this. For once, someone else seems interested on changing his ways and THAT obviously excites Charlie, who referred to Sir Pen as "the hotel's first real quest" now to be fair with her, Angel is very vocal about how he thinks the Hotel is BS and hadn't show any intention to change his ways soon- but y'know that still must stings like it hasn't even been a week and this girl that is all sunshine and rainbows already gave up on him lmao but it gets even worse- on the roleplay thing, look at the fucking role he is giving- A CRACKHEAD- like he had to pause before saying that shit- and to rub salt on the wound, Sor Pen performance ends with the "no sex before marriage!" Line. Like out of all sins one could commit- you pick Addiction to Drugs (more specifically CRACK) and Sex. Yo girl what the fuck- and ofc, only Sir Pen gets congratulated, because Angel was critical of the whole thing and the former was full on enthusiastic about it- the last shot before the bedroom scene we get us Angel staring at Charlie validating Sir Pen's efforts and how he is going to be redeemed so fast before Angel sadly goes upstairs.

Now the room scene..... Yikes. The fact that the roleplay was all and on about the drugs thing and how the last voicemail/Angel's imagination? Things we heard it's "Addict trash like you doesn't change"... Hahaha all the yikes with that fucking roleplay. So yeah it's very fucking clear from the get go Angel has....issues. Hell even after "It starts with Sorry" when everyone goes back to sleep he doesn't looks happy, just resigned lmao

(Which it's funny because on the very next episode he saves Sir Pen from the war thing going down but I digress)

Now episode 4- oh MAN where do I even start. Now remember how in the first paragraph I mentioned how Angel disses Travis but like, in a confident way? Not on the way someone affected would react? Well this ep is everything but that lmao "I don't give a shit about what a drunk ass bartender thinks of me" reeks of insecurity by the tone alone I am sorry. Notice how he looks very taken aback when Husk calls his act out before he doubles down and goes full "I am actor dumbass" bit. Man's defenses were penetrated in a way it hasn't before and he needed a moment to put more bs out of his ass because God forbid someone in this Hotel knows how horrible his life is and how much he hates himself- and then his advances were thoroughly rejected for good ("It's never gonna work on me") and he absolutely losses it. Not being able to compute that someone that clearly stared at him long enough to read him, doesn't want to fuck him. Disgusts from people that barely knows him he can take- being told to his face it's not working, he can't. And it's not even because he particularly want to fuck anyone there- that is how he sees his own worth. He makes Val money, everyone around wants to take him, his services are apparently FAR from cheap ("you know how much I am WORTH?!") and he had based his whole self worth around it- no matter how many times he gets taken advantage of on a random club on 3am or if is his own fucking abuser (he literally only opened Val's voicemails after the whole ep2 fiasco) people either despises him because of his overt sexuality or want to use him for it (there is also the middle road where his worse habits are enabled and that makes him 'fun' company- but I'll be there in a min) there just can't be a reality where he is told to his face that he is destroying himself and any connection he can have WITHOUT the alterior motive of wanting to fuck him- right? I mean even Charlie's hope on him was proven to be limited, so why bother?

Enter Loser, Baby.

And yes, my beloved Huskerdust atem- you see there is something fucked up about it. Angel only joins in to sing as well after he goes full "I am a hoe that likes drugs tehee" but unlike always, he is...not proud of it. He only sings about it because Husk sang how "it's ok to be a-" like expecting a negative, and it's ONLY when Husk completes it with a "Baby that is fine by me" does Angel truly smiles. He just had a whole breakdown, he doesn't has the energy to put his facade and his "I don't care what you think" actitude. But because Husk validates that he is able to follow along.

There is also the "This guy it's not that bad" part. Angel softened up at that because, again, Husk validated him- the real him. He saw through his facade and embraced it.

In episode 5 there is this little scene where Charlie is talking to her father over the phone and everyone else is silently supporting her from behind. And Angel, the ever realist- is just....grimacing through the whole thing lmao but to his credit seemed to support her regardless- but what cought my eye through the whole thing is that when Charlie goes full "Dad, this is important to me!" The camera focus on Angel a bit....touched? See the scene you'll get what I mean.

Then episode 6 came along. Cherrie comes along, and her and Husk play devil and angel on Anthony's shoulder the whole night. But there is something interesting about this- Angel never.... really stops Cherrie, nor explain why he would avoid drugs- Husk does. He ONLY explains himself when Cherrie confronted him about being so protective of Nifty. When Cherrie offer him the pills he doesn't goes full "I am sober now" cut and dry, instead he goes full "er....I dunno, I am tired. Maybe another time?" after Husk does the whole "I thought you were better than that" bit. Cherrie enables Angel- she clearly CARES about him, there is not doubt about that- but Hell is made with good intentions, validating his excesses and taking an active part on it is how they bond- and how his relationship with her makes him feel a bit better about himself, even when at the end of day it all comes crashing down (hello end of Addicted) and what is the first THING he smiles at after his confrontation with Valentino? "You did good, kid".

Ao in synthesis, Angel craves for validation in all and any way he can get it- regardless of how good the intentions of those giving it are. It either can be an validitation of his usual behavior (Cherrie) an validation of him wanting to better himself (Charlie, Husk) or just.... validation of his body as a whole (those weird sharks he ran to at ep4) it really depends of how much his mental state is on the gutter that day.

And then there is Valentino.

It's clear Angel's self Worth issues are not much better thanks to the way he is treated in and out of the studio- but, and knowing his familial relationship, it's doubtful they CAME from there, and it was an unfortunate result of it.

Valentino and the Vees pray on the vulnerable- that was DIRECTLY stated at ep2, and what is more vulnerable that a drug addict whose own family rejected? Sure Angel had been on Hell for a WHILE but his foundation was already shaky to begin with, he is street smart and posseses more common sense that some of his peers (literally the only one that stated they SHOULDN'T bring every psycho that tries to kill them to the Hotel lmao) but this need for Validation running deep on his core makes him the ideal pray for any asshole that is willing to drop a few "oh you are so pretty 💜"s his way until it's too late. How tragic would it be- to have the first person that validated him in a WHILE be the one that hurt him the most.

[faytelumos]

Dude the way I'm eating your tags like they're my last meal on death's row!! I'll do the same here. Can you IMAGINE the standard Thomas sat when he became a father.

This wild, rowdy, firecracker of a man Gotham grew from golden soil and made him dirty, becoming a dad? Oh man.

Especially in the black and white era, where the most proficient job you could have in Gotham was a gangster. Second was a thief. Third was politician, but they mean the same thing anyway.

No man was particularly attached to fatherhood, " Yeah, I see my brats once a week. "

" Sheesh, you're lucky. I had to cut back work when my wife delivered. I just don't get why I have to do be there. What's your stance on that, Thomas? Does the husband have to be there?"

Thomas, smiling like a feral tiger: You know I delivered my baby, right?

OOOKAY, I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS!

Okay, be Thomas Wayne, doctor, philanthropist, old money, living in Gotham with your beautiful wife and your beautiful boyfriend, and you're having a son.

(Martha makes a funny joke about needing more girls in the house, and Alfred reminds her she throws most of her feminine relationships away after a month and a half.)

This is Gotham city. This place breeds corruption and desperation like a petri dish. You inherited the role of a founding family heir from a father you never liked and every secret organization and mobster has been trying to put you in their pocket since.

And now you have a beautiful, tender, delicate baby boy.

Absolute fucking terror.

This boy is going to be a target for every walk of life from the ground to the sky. This boy is going to get seductive offers to corruption every day, this boy is going to be a walking paycheck for anyone who's in trouble, this boy is small, and vulnerable, and yours, and he's meat and money to everyone else out there.

His future is altogether uncertain, but there's a million possibilities out there, and most of them are terrible, and it's the worst kind of anxiety.

On top of this, based on your fic, Thomas did not have any kind of healthy relationship with his dad.

This makes it so much harder. Now you're Thomas, worried to death that the world is gonna eat your son alive, and wondering what kind of father you're gonna be.

Fatherhood and manliness are two toxic chemicals that mix into the water as far as Thomas can tell. Maybe Tommy can sleep a little easier knowing Alfred will be there, knowing Bruce's other father won't be taking Tommy's shit, will also be looking out for his boy. Maybe having such a good person there, too, will protect Bruce from the boogeyman inside every other man that is Fatherhood.

Because Thomas never met a father he liked. Thomas hated Ben. And he's so terrified he's going to be just like him.

But besides all of this, Thomas is here, now, holding his newborn baby in his hands. It was crazy getting ready for it — everyone was asking him if it was really a good idea for him to be delivering his own baby, but honestly, he would never forgive himself if he missed that chance. It was crazy, because Martha, his absolute fireworks show, his light in the dark, was soldiering through all of the contractions and the pain all the way to the delivery room. And Alfred's just outside, putting out fires all over the manor as they get ready for a bump turned into a baby, Tommy's rock calmly pacing and bringing order and certainty to a day so very full of chaos and fear.

And it's a lot. It's so much. But in the scrubs, with the mask and the gloves, Tommy's hands are steady and he breathes evenly, and he holds his wife's and child's lives in those hands, and he loves them endlessly. Nothing can go wrong, and he wouldn't trade the chance to be there for both of them through this for anything.

He's scared, of himself, of Gotham, but as his little boy's growing up, he just takes the moments he can get and he does everything in his power to make his little mini-me boy as happy as physically possible. He takes every moment to give Bruce what he wanted at that age.

[joltning]

@fishfingersalad it’s almost 2am but i can’t sleep and ts probably only going to be seen by like 5 people anyway so let it rip

this au started out as a self indulgent pocket sized au that I ignore as all my aus do…..then I couldn’t sleep and started imagining things im good at that. it started as an au I could do ship focus on and well I love lore I guess. despite all this the main story still focuses on my blorbos. maybe I will make a storyline for the main cast, if I can imagine things again

one day, all across (abridged) America (this is why I made that carolina/puerto rico/dc post btw), 50 children, each for 1 state, pop up at the same time, with varying ages, mostly tween years but with some variation up and down. while some are humanoid creatures, others are completely monstrous and lack sentience. however, they all share one common factor: a tag identifying what state they came from. The majority of the sentient ones assume this is their name, and that’s why they run with it.

conspiracy theorists and cryptid fans nationwide take notice of a bunch of shit happening overnight and develop “The 50” list. depending on if it’s commonly agreed upon what monster you are and if it’s commonly agreed upon what state you’re from, you’ll be ranked higher or lower on the list, with, of course, the highest ranking being the most sought after and hidden. Most of the higher tiered creatures are humanoid; it’s easier to blend in if you don’t look out of place

i forgot to mention Btw it’s like. myths and legends and shit too. i mentioned york being the pied Piper I also think the implication that the pied Piper is a monster is funny. also only one monster per person and

ofc my blorbos…….Everyone run now!!!! Ohio has just moved to a new city yay go girl But her coworkers are fucked up!!! There’s this bitch Sherry that she may or may not have a crush on and like her two little friends who absolutely know that. but Watch out there’s a freaky green man It’s Georgia her old friend Georgia. they were their first freelancer friends but geo Loves making deals for souls slash servitude slash their power slash take over the world slash he doesn’t know what souls are and neither do I. but they gotta be normal and not fight in the office.!!! And fight outside of a Walmart at 2 instead. he’s kinda bad at it though which is why only Ohio cares.

anywya Sherry keeps running into Ohio and Georgia fighting and you know Ohio’s kind of like. well if you see her when she’s not masking you’ll probably go insane huh. so Ohio has to keep wiping her memories and Sherry’s getting CRAZY deja vu.

this is so stressful Good thing Ohio’s got her trusty friends Iowa and Idaho!!! They’re causing chaos somewhere else but she’s always texting them and video chatting. hopefully they can meet up again soon!!

Utah is a paranormal investigator and currently georgia’s only the only person who’s currently made a deal with him. he’s made past deals but Ohio scared them off by ‘Do Not Be Afraid’ing them. it’s either that or they have to get killed lest the green fuck get too powerful and Ohio would rather not do that thanks. utah doesn’t even get anything in return he just wants to know wtf is going on tbh. Georgia stays at his apartment because he’s a squatter I guess

well That’s too bad I guess I can’t share any more because they’re just plotpoints. hey do you wanna know what the other freelancers are

Ohio: Angel (duh. So low because when she spawned she was literally in the middle of a bunch of people and blinded them with her corporeal form)

Georgia: Demon (the devil but literally this time. manages to be a little higher due to being able to teleport short distances. Stayed a little too close to home base, though.)

Iowa: Harpy (kept flying in the air like a dumbass everyone fucking saw him. denialists claim it to be a big bird. and they’re right.)

Idaho: Werewolf (he didn’t know until a full moon came out. oops.)

Carolina: Siren (keeps the bad singing voice.)

York: pied piper….

Wash: Shapeshifter

Florida: Alien (when he came on the fated day he rode in on a meteor instead of plopping in, breaking off the state from the rest of the US. its highly debated on whether or not the meteor itself was the creature.)

Maine: Bigfoot (but he shaves his whole body every day so he just looks like a big guy)

Connie: Kitsune

Wyoming: Fairy (despite being obvious, no one fuckinh lives in wyoming so he just flew far away immediately. fucks up the rankings of others by being spotted far away from his state.)

North: The Sandman (Both spawned across from eachother at the 2 state’s borders. They immediately declared eachother twins.)

South: Mare/Dream Eater (Their high ranking is very dependent on the confusion on which twin is which, since they work together to sleep and then feast.)

Tex: Ghost

you may see here I did not include Utah Did I forget No No No (kinda) I have an idea for what he is but i don’t intent to reveal it ever really. idk how id incorporate that. jsut know I searched really hard to find a creature that wasn’t a ghost that disrupted electromagnetic fields so that every time he went ghost hunting the machines would go off causing him to assert there was a ghost there. but no alas I did not find that

ok tahts it I think. for now. maybe. if you have any ideas for this background fucks wise or rnbs wise I would like them. for meThanks goodnight im gonna pass blout Out Out

[covenofthearticulate]

ASH my love I missed your post last night I'm so glad you're okay!! 🫂🫂🫂

let me see if I can come up with any good vampire thoughts on the fly:

- for armand/lestat/louis I feel like lestat has SO MUCH to learn in terms of being a selfless lover and I guess I’m remembering crimson incarnate again like I do every day of my life, but this time I want lestat to put into practice what he’s learned about putting others’ needs first. and not just sex! I want to see him watching armand to learn how to pamper louis the way louis WANTS to be pampered. I want the three of them in the bath together and for once it’s not The Lestat Show but he’s watching louis and armand bathe each other and he finds in him to ask what he can do too 🤧 he ASKS armand if he’d like a turn in the middle for once

- thinking about louis and daniel, and I just think it would be really sweet if louis became the guy daniel went to whenever he feels like there’s a rift or a miscommunication happening in his relationship with armand (I feel like going to lestat or marius with this one would make it worse). since BOTH louis and daniel are on the fledging side of the equation, there’s a unique common ground here. tl; dr: louis is the post-canon a/d marriage counselor (also it’s so funny bc I know armand and louis commiserate re: lestat and now louis and daniel can commiserate re: armand rip louis my guy does not get a break)

- for armand/louis I’m just imagining louis getting armand’s blood stained filthy love letter and tearing off a rust colored edge and putting it in his mouth like an absolute fucking weirdo so he can have the slightest taste of armand on his tongue as he writes his response (whatever that may be 🫢 )

- for lestat/louis I’m know it doesn’t align with canon since most animals are afraid of vampires and mojo was the exception, but I desperately want them to raise a puppy together! I think they deserve it and I usually imagine louis with cats, but I also think he’d be so sweet with a dog and he’d never stop making comments to it—“you’re just like your papa” when it jumps up and licks his face (papa being lestat)

hope these made you smile and hope you feel better soon babe!!! ❤️❤️❤️ (I apologize for any typos I just drank two energy drinks and I am ZOOMING)

Hi friend I hope you know the reason for the late reply is because I've been keeping this in my inbox like a little locket and I go back to peek at it every time I need inspo or serotonin lmfao but these are all so excellent!!!!!!!!!!

LESTAT WATCHING ARMAND PAMPER LOUIS IN THE BATHTUB HELP I'M DECEASED you're so big brained for this oh my god like Crimson Incarnate was fun and I loved having Lestat watch Armand but I can't believe I never even thought about having Lestat watch Louis! Especially because they don't share the Mind Gift I bet Armand would pull out all the stops just to get Louis to vocalize a little more when he does something he likes :)

And YES I love the idea of Daniel being able to talk to Louis about Armand!!! and even before that like i’m honestly so intrigued by what it would look like when Daniel first decides that he’s going to stay with Louis and Armand like how long does it take for them to stop being awkward around one another and what does it look like the very first time that Daniel broaches the subject and asks Louis for advice!!! they have so much baggage between each other but their common ground is Armand 🥺🥺🥺

(also listen……..every day i’m tempted to write a letter from Louis in reply to the Armand letter like my god that shit STILL lives in my head rent free)

nooooooooooooo but i’m gonna fucking CRY at the idea of Loustat raising a puppy together 😭 like Mojo was already full grown when Lestat found him but imagine all the lovely chaos that comes along with raising a little PUPPY!! Louis is the dad who said “Absolutely Not” when Lestat showed up one night with a little dusty stray and then two days later Louis is planted on the sofa with the puppy curled up on his chest and he refuses to let Lestat anywhere near them LMAO (also just think of all the bittersweet ANGST of the two of them living together and co-parenting again and healing but also still being incredibly traumatized after Claudia aaaaaahhhhhhhh)

[maxcuntstappen]

Bestie lestappen with the reverse trope “too many beds” ????? But they still share maybe?? Could be ridiculously funny

From this. Honestly any of these would be hilarious

It's the night of the annual lock-in.

Max never understood the point of them, really.

But it keeps him away from his house and gives him more time with his friends so he's not going to bitch about it.

After the chaos of last year's 'oh let's put a bunch of hormonal, horny, overly sensitive kids in one gym for one whole night and see how it goes', the management seems to have come to their senses and split the crowd up.

Max likes it better like this, 6 to 10 people in one classroom, people you can choose to have with you with all the bonding activities left for the gym.

It comforts him, knowing that he has a place to retreat if it all gets too much.

And it does get too much. But not in the way he expects.

"MAX!!!!!" Oscar yells, snapping him out of his snooze, just in time for Max to dodge the ball heading straight to his face.

"What the fuck," Max growls, or at least tries to, it comes out as a whine instead.

He would feel embarrassed if he wasn't busy feeling so fucking tired instead.

It's not his fault that GP and Seb made the entire team run double their usual drills because one stupid fucking freshman was late to the practice.

"What the fuck is you," Lando yells, making no sense but the frustration in his voice gets the message across.

"Okay," Alex's voice declares, "We need to regroup."

The other team groans and complains but they're retreating to their side as they do.

Fucking dickheads.

Alex pulls Max to the side, leaving their team discussing and strategising behind.

"Max, you know I love you," Alex starts, and Max preens a bit, always happy with how openly affectionate his friends are with him, "But you're a damn liability, man."

Max frowns, "No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are," George pops up out of nowhere, cause of fucking course, "We are being absolutely murdered out there and you're not helping."

"Okay, Russell, I've seen you throw, let's not pretend you're Tom fucking Brady, yeah?" Max snaps.

George opens his mouth to snark back but Alex pushes him away, "Go. Now."

George grumbles but walks away.

Simp.

"Max, buddy," Alex says, voice gentle, "It's okay to be tired. It's late. You can rest."

But Max doesn't want to rest. He wants to be with his friends and watch them be stupid. He wants to watch Lando slip on the polished floor and he wants to point at him and laugh in his face. He wants to watch George get worryingly protective of Alex when they play capture the flag. He wants to watch Charles argue and argue and argue over one single point in one of these redundant stupid games. He wants to watch him win the argument. Because he will win the argument. Max knows this all too well.

"But..." Max begins to protest, but Alex runs his hand through Max's hair and Max fucking melts into it before he remembers himself and snaps up straight.

"Yeah," Alex says, all sympathetic and soft. That cunt.

Max sighs.

Hard-headed as he is, even he knows when he needs to call it quits.

Max nods, making Alex softly smile.

"I'll see you in a bit, yeah?" Alex squeezes his shoulder, and turns to return to their miserably losing dodge ball team.

Max is practically dragging his feet as he exits the gym. He feels a tinge of sadness at the idea of missing out but it's overshadowed by the absolute fucking joy he's deriving from imagining how fucking good it'll feel to finally, finally be in a horizontal position.

He's just turned into the hallway when a voice calls out, "OI! MAX!"

Max looks back to see a grinning a bit-too-widely Daniel, holding a wide eyed, clearly trying-very-hard-not-to-blink Charles.

"Take him with you too, yeah?" Daniel says, slightly pushing Charles in Max's direction.

He leaves before Max can even get a word in.

Max sighs, running his eyes over Charles' rumpled appearance ; loose red sweatpants and a cream hoodie big enough to fit two, bloodshot eyes with mad scientist hair to match.

Max isn't the only one among his friends who had to run double the drills today.

"Tired?" Max asks, already knowing the answer.

Charles simply nods, his hoodie-covered hand coming up to rub at his eyes.

The sight makes Max feel all soft and mushy.

It's a feeling he's becoming increasingly familiar with, thanks to Charles' existence.

"Come on then," Max says, gesturing with a nod to the hallway towards their chosen class.

They walk next to each other wordlessly, both too tired to thinking of anything to talk about.

Max, surprisingly, is fine with it.

He thought it might be weird, considering just how much Charles and him talk when they're together.

But no.

This is fine too.

It's perfectly fine.

And then they reach their classroom and both of them stop short.

"Uh," Charles says, and Max agrees with that sentiment.

Because there are ten mattresses placed around the class, spread out from one wall to another.

Max so doesn't have the energy to gay panic about sleeping arrangements right now.

He never thought having too many options would ever be a problem when it came to sharing a bed with Charles.

Max glances over, sees Charles' eyes dart all over the floor, clearly trying to figure out his next move.

Max sighs, thinking, 'This is stupid'.

Cause it is.

Charles and Max have known each other since they were kids. Maybe they didn't like each other for half of that time.

But things are different now.

Even if Charles doesn't feel the same bubbly warm overwhelming feelings that Max feels for him, Max knows that Charles still likes him, still likes his company and their conversations and their time spent together.

That's more than Max's tired brain to make a decision.

"C'mon," he mumbles, taking Charles' hand in his, walking them over to the mattress closest to them.

He drops down, making Charles yelp and follow, somehow managing to not stab Max with his elbow.

It's not a big enough mattress to share.

But it's not a small enough mattress to not share.

Charles decides to stay, pressed up to Max's side.

Max is out before he can really appreciate the warmth and the comfort and the joy of the moment.

But it's okay, there will be other times.

[hazbinhazbinhazbinreblog]

You know what would be fucking funny? Because I have seen videos on this and I think there are old AUs about this too

But

ANGEL ALASTOR or I guess Winner!Alastor. Or whatever.

This very angelic being, who still takes on some deer qualities like his canon self, but just in Heaven. How? Who the fuck knows. Maybe this version didn't do that bad of sins //shrugs.

But this version is holy of course. His color scheme is whites, golds and blues (or pinks, maybe pinks instead). He walks with poise and grace, humming softly. He is still a radio host, happily broadcasting music and more. SO HOW THE FUCK IS IN HE HELL, HUH?

Consider: Bordeom.

Just like Canon!Alastor, Angel!Alastor is bored, he needs entertainment. Or at least he says he does. Really the reality is, maybe for this AU/Idea, Emily caught word of the extermination much earlier on due to how weird Sera is acting and maybe even caught word of the hotel much earlier on or something. Maybe Lucifer had to have a meeting in Heaven and let it slip his daughter was planning to do a redemption hotel and Emily sent Alastor down to go check it out and maybe make sure everything goes well.

I can imagine the actual just pure shock that an ACTUAL ANGEL was down in Hell wishing to help the hotel. But also Charlie being over the moon since OMG Heaven wants to help out.

Besides that, visual wise. Besides the color scheme I mentioned earlier. Can weirdly see him maybe having a blindfold over his eyes? Like he can see perfectly find, he just actively blinds himself. Maybe as a metaphor for how blind Heaven is to the exterminations? Idk. Also can see him having super fluffy wings, like, you know the videos of pigeons loafing or floofing up? Think that but Alastor's wings. When pissed off, more eyes appear on his wings and there is clearly glowing pupils under his blindfold, but he rarely gets angry since he keeps a level head more.

And that is all I thought of hfsjdf

If people wanna add more to this, be my guest, I lowkey wanna see the chaos that comes from this idea hfjdsf

-⚔️ anon

Winner!Alastor going to visit hell from sheer absolute boredom is very entertaining to me

[starry-blue-echoes]

Star Swap: I might have mentioned this, but I love the idea of Jonathan semi-accidentally rallying the meeker prisoners like Guccio and Atroe, which means a lot given that the prison is largely led by a right-makes-right mentality. Because Jonathan is nice and caring and kind and (with some advice from Gwess and Ermes) not afraid to start punching people if need be. He may not have his old muscles but he still has his boxing skill and maybe his hamon? Can't remember when he was taken. Anyway, he manages to assemble a small following of prisoners, helping them so that they can eventually help themselves.

YESSSSSSSSS

while Jolyne's body may not have the pure muscle and intimidation factor that Jonathan's original one had he's far from helpless. As you mentioned there's the aforementioned Hamon and boxing, plus how Hamon would work really well with The Passion when he gets pricked

and it's definitely an accident at first. Jonathan couldn't help it! He wants to help people, no matter whether or not they can give him anything in return. And while he may not teach them Hamon (he realises pretty early on just how dangerous that could get if he taught others), he can teach them how to defend themselves and get away from danger

For a bit of fun chaos, I like to image there was an instance where two people he taught used the things he learned to pick on others and he marched his way over and started scolding the shit out of them. He gave them a flawless "I'm not mad just disappointed" look and speech like he was their parent or something and he looked to genuine and upset and oh god I feel so bad what the fuck was I thinking-

and just to add a but of extra fun spice to it, maybe one of the two ends up attacking him because You Can't Tell Us What To Do Short Stack only to promptly get their ass handed to them on a silver platter. Maybe even a broken bone or two........ but then when it's over Jonathan completely heals the opponent but leaves himself injured so when the guard shows up it looks like the fight was completely one-sided

was that a bit tricky of him to fool the guard like that? Yes, he feels terrible about it for days afterward and can't get the mental image of Dio out of his head, but he isn't going to just let this person use what he taught them to hurt people that just wouldn't be nice >:(

he doesn't even realise how many people he's befriended until Hermes makes a comment about it and he almost starts crying because he hasn't had this many friends EVER, he's still honestly trying to come to terms with the fact he has friends period

once again, I'm loving the mental image of Hermes and Gwess trying their absolute damnedest to just Keep Jojo Alive. They know he's powerful and that he should theoretically be able to handle himself, and most of the time he's honestly really reliable! He's surprisingly emotionally intelligent and knows just what to say....... but then right after he'll do the stupidest (/aff) shit imaginable and they'll remember "right, this is the same guy who thought the tv was trapping people inside and that blood letting was an acceptable medical treatment"

also, speaking of Atroe, I had a silly idea for how Foo slides into things: I think it would if they're just Body Buddies. That's it. Foo expressed interest in helping out Jonathan for the respect he showed them and Atroe was like "welcome to the club! Jojo's really cool and nice so I can't blame you, why don't you come with :D" and just lets Foo vibe in their body

would this work biologically? I don't think so, but also consider It Would Be Funny For The Sake Of The AU

[ff7-has-taken-me-over]

Idk if this submitted the first time (you can delete this ask if it did)

But one thing that I will forever fine funny is that the almost everyone in the COD fandom saw soap in a collar and was like “yeah that checks out”. I think soap would wear it as a joke since it was a gag gift or if he lost a bet/ did a dare but later on would wear it again since it’s not only practical but comfortable on missions and work well. Que the boys just losing it gaz is definitely the one who gave it to him to cause chaos that price has to watch he probably also got a lot of comments he either flirted back or told them to shut up. How everyone reacted is up to you :3

It didn’t submit for some reason but I’m glad you submitted again cause I saw a couple tik toks with Soap in the radio collar things that military dudes have in movies and this is fuelling me.

I reckon it starts with the military use ones and for some reason Soap is just pulling it off different and it’s giving everyone ideas. Gaz can see this and because he likes causing Price pain, when they’re on their next lull between missions he gets a legit collar and gives it to Soap.

Obviously they made a bet first, and of course Gaz did it with something that he absolutely knew Soap would lose at so there Soap goes, walking around base with the collar for the next two weeks.

I reckon the pure fact that the collar isn’t military will make everyone lose their minds just a touch more than usual.

Alejandro and Rudy see it first since they had all planned to meet up and do some training together. Rudy can do nothing more than blush and fluster, forgetting all concepts of English because now his head is running wild with the scenarios that collar and hand to hand training could bring them to.

Alejandro is similar but he manages to hold onto his English (barely), speaking broken sentences and flirting like a madman. Soap gets all embarrassed and both men can see the way the blush disappears under the collar and they so badly want to follow it.

Gaz flirts because, well, he’s a dick like that 😂 he’s milking this for all he can and if that means he has to flirt a bit just so he can watch Soap get flustered and all these men simp over him, well he’ll damn well do it.

Nobody knows if König is into it or not. The man’s harder to read than Ghost most days so who tf knows what’s going on behind that hood. But in the privacy of his room he is definitely losing his mind and trying to figure out ways he could hopefully ask Soap to join him or something.

Ghost seems stoic and disapproving at first. He sees the collar and the shit eating grin on Gaz and simply tells them to stop playing games. But as he walks away he has to very quickly and very discreetly adjust his pants because he was not expecting that.

The man is fucking everywhere for the duration of the bet because he absolutely loves the sight of a collar on Soap and can’t help but imagine what the man would look like with something that was distinctly Ghost’s on him.

He’s also making sure that nobody actually acts on the ideas they’re all so obviously thinking. Because no fraternisation in the military and totally not cause he’s jealous and is silently bidding everyone to know Johnny is his.

And Price, poor old Price, cannot wait for this bet to be over cause he doesn’t know how many more times he can walk in on the sight of half of his men drooling over an oblivious, collared Soap.

Much to his horror though, the collar ends up becoming a regular part of Soap’s wardrobe. Most times by mistake other times because he likes the feel of it and lord have mercy when the rest of the 141 heard that.

[the-colourful-witch]

Hi, Fleur!

I hope you know that I absolutely love and admire your artwork, they are so creative and love how each and everyone of those characters are different in their own way.

You always make me smile when I see you on my dash, and I'm glad that you share your artistic talent with all of us. I hope you never give up on your art because you are so talented.

I have a few questions (Would it be alright if I send another ask?):

I was wondering if you have any HC's about your favorite HP couple (or any fandom)?

What is your favorite part/scene from the HP series?

If you won the lottery, what would be five things you would buy? No responsible answers, feel free to be silly ;)

I hope you have a good night/morning <3

Hiya! I hope you know how much you saying this means to me. Thank you for your support and love and I hope you'll continue to enjoy seeing my work on your dash :) Ask as much as you like! I don't mind at all :)

Let's start with the first question: I do have a headcannon about Ron and Hermione.. I've always imagined that Hermione would carefully pick out novels she thinks Ron will enjoy and give them to him. And he'll complain publicly about how she's trying to get him to study more and be bookish, but they talk about the books together and Ron will ask for another one because she knows exactly what he likes. He will listen to her drone on and on about what she's currently reading and tease her in between breaths. They have a bookish love language :) I also have a Harry and Ginny headcannon... Harry eventually falls in love with Ginny because she is being herself, being cool, fun, and witty. Harry would get a little insecure because suddenly he's not sure he is worthy of her. Because he didn't have a normal childhood, he worries he might be too serious for her, or that they can't have fun together. That's when Ginny takes him outside to play Quidditch, they play matches and let go of their troubles for a bit. Afterwards, they'll lie in the grass, talking and making jokes and Ginny tells him that she doesn't care that he's famous, because she just scored 99/100 goals on him. Harry kisses her because she is one of the few people that can make him feel like a normal person and his worries ebb away.

I might draw those headcannons one day, I'd love to do more story illustrations :) Second question: favourite part of the HP series (book and/or films)... Hmm, that's a tough one. There are so many to choose from. I think, from the films; there's this scene in 'The Prisoner of Azkaban' on the day they arrive back at Hogwarts. The boys are in the Gryffindor dormitory and they're taking those animal candies. I love that scene so much, because of the fun they're having, the rain pounding on the windows outside, and the fact that they're in their pyjamas. They were probably talking about their summers, exchanging stories. It's so wholesome, I love it! From the books, I absolutely love the scene in 'The Order of the Phoenix' where Fred and George escape Hogwarts on their broomsticks. They give a final 'FUCK YOU' to Umbridge and the chaos that ensues after that is just brilliant. With the swamp and the Niffler and McGonagall instructing Peeves on how to untwist the chandelier. It's brilliant.

I love most scenes with the twins. They're so funny :)

And last, but not least! If I won the lottery, what would I buy...? That's such a fun question. Reasonable answers aside, I would buy a ship. A large, beautiful sailing vessel. I would turn the thing into a sailing art studio and just travel the world and write and illustrate books. And I would paint the outside beautiful colours, I'd have a vegetable garden on the deck and a swinging chair to read books in. It would be a little paradise at sea. I love boats and my dream is to live on one :)

[becauseplot]

it’s Stupid Hours (aka way too early in the morning) and after 0.2 seconds of searching on YouTube ive come to the conclusion that there is no qsmp John Mulaney “The One Thing” animatic yet and ive gotta say guys. im disappointed.(/lh) im so used to every fandom having at least one The One Thing animatic that realizing there isn’t one for qsmp is bonkers to me. i’ve watched so many of these over the years that if you played The One Thing audio, i could probably recite it in time w the audio (i won’t say from memory bc my memory is shit.)

anyway here’s what i would personally do for a The One Thing animatic if i could draw. remember that this is gonna be skewed to the POVs im more familiar with so im sorry if your cubito doesn’t make it into the role you’d expect. i tried to include as many people as possible.

Edit: "Back in high school..." - not really necessary, but i imagine this story/"AU" taking place during the egg disappearance, which would explain the overly chaotic behavior of the islanders. not that they ever need a reason to be chaotic.

Narrator - Charlie. he’s not on the server as often but bc of that he would make a good “outside” pov narrator. also he’s just a got a really quick-with-it type of humor, cracking jokes and puns and doing wordplay/inprov’d songs at the drop of a hat, and he also loves telling stories.

Mr. Macnimara - Cucurucho. “And Mr. Macnimara was an asshole.” need i say more?

Jake Macnimara - Jaiden. beloved bird of the Federation, though that absolutely would not stop her from throwing a wild party for her friends in their offices if she could. Edit: also Quackity would make a really good option here. Cringefail man that the Federation likes to toy with, we love to see it. Also with his shit luck it makes sense that a party that he decides to host at the Fed offices (a bad idea in the first place tbf) would blow up in his face so hard.

(Bonus: Mrs. Macnimara - the Duck. the Watcher. ElQuackity. idk who’s funnier just whoever your heart desires.)

“And we all got up individually and thought: okay, let’s go over there, and destroy the place.” - split screen of Cellbit, Baghera, Maxo, and Bad. there could be more, like Mike, Etoiles, Phil, Tubbo, really anyone who hates the Federation and/or has an affinity for chaos. Foolish would be a really fucking funny option for this one because yeah he works for the Feds but He Absolutely Would. all of the characters would get up calmly, and on the word “destroy” flip to a Chaos Mode Engaged expression (Cellbit with a grin and bloodstains on his cheeks, Baghera w flames behind her and in her eyes, etc etc)

“People were drinking like it was the civil war and a doctor was coming to saw our legs off” - Tubbo and his backpack of 3749588383 chainsaws. tazerraft could also be a good option considering Pac’s love of beheading people and Mike’s generally unhinged behavior. tbh just anyone/everyone in morning crew.

Person who breaks the pool table - Etoiles. someone would dare him to and he’d get so fucking excited he would absolutely HURL himself at that pool table. (dogboy behavior)

Person who takes a shit on the computer - … look ive been blankly staring at this one for like 7 fucking minutes. my heart says Aypierre but i could not tell you why. just. anyone who would absolutely do some rancid, unhinged shit when given the opportunity. Foolish again maybe. idk.

Edit: "Something something, police." - Jaiden, if she isn't Jake Macnimara. She would totally say it in a "LOL UH-OH" manner. If not, I could also imagine Missa, Bagi, or Fit nervously/bluntly trying to warn people while laughing.

“Fuck da police!” - “Fuck da Feds!”/“Fuck da Federation!” from what i can tell, Charlie doesn’t have an active animosity towards the Federation, but a lot of his friends do, and he will do anything, ANYTHING to commit to the bit. he will do ANYTHING for the funnies, and if he thinks that shouting “Fuck da Feds!” at the top of his lungs is going to get a reaction out of people, he absolutely will.

Edit: "'I served my nickel, you come and take me!' confidence." - Mike. I have such a strong mental image of Mike drunkenly shouting this while Pac and Fit hold him up/hold him back. Fuga references my beloved. Also the fact that he was put in a Fed freezer for a while.

The Police - the Federation workers. obviously. bonus points for one unnamed guard/officer being impressed like “wooooow :0” and then widening the shot to reveal an unamused Agent 18 standing next to them, leaning into his walkie talkie saying, “Get the paddy wagon.”

“SCATTER!” - Phil. (if you know you know.) generally, people who don’t know Phil tend to think he’s pretty chill, so no one would expect him to do something like that. also when Charlie says “And my friend John—” it would cut to a ‘pause screen’ over the scene, Charlie coming on screen to clarify the “father” and “baby” parts by providing helpful pop-up images of family pictures with Chayanne, Tallulah, and Missa on screen. Resumes, presses play and the screen clears: “He grabbed a 40…”

Edit: "Until, two years later..." - again, not really necessary, but it could be something like, "Until, after Purgatory..."

Alex (guy who stole the photos) - Roier. HEAR ME OUT. Roier, similar to Phil, is just such an unassuming guy. he’s cheery and laughs a lot and cracks jokes, but deep down, he’s smart and he’s got a burning HATRED for the Federation. he’s not the kind of guy to start fights, but with everyone else causing chaos at the party, breaking shit in the offices/house, he would absolutely take the opportunity to steal Federation documents for his husband’s investigations. (or antique photos, if you want to keep with the high school setting/theme.) i mean he stole a fucking lamp from their offices once just because there was so much shit going on and he knew the Feds probably wouldn’t notice (iirc).

Edit: SOMETHING I FORGOT TO MENTION ABOUT ROIER. you could totally make the line “because it’s the one thing you can’t replace” a reflection of Bobby, who the Federation ‘killed’, so now he’s getting back at them. (i’ve put way too much thought into this.)

anyway that’s all! feel free to contribute if u want i just really love The One Thing. it’s an older fandom meme but yeah it still checks out.

(the sheer number of edits to this thing really speaks to how much it lives in my head lmaooo. there's more details but im not gonna include them here bc they're too visual.)