#It was a really bad Ai image too
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I just got recommended a pro maga post and I’m so befuddled???? I’m sorry but as a minority I would like to keep my rights pls and thank you 🙏
#Where did this come from???#It was a really bad Ai image too#Like ew no#Why are they all such weirdos 😭😭
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This is why we need artists.
The spray paint goes over the slashes in the wall and doesn’t take depth into account
The slashes in the wall ignore the solidity of the of the object being slashed. Tiles shatter
The slashes look like they were originally in something organic because tile wouldn’t peel that way and it has no underlying structure to keep it in place
The cracks in the wall don’t follow any pattern related to the slashing and imply impact damage not slash damage (could be a precursor to the slashing but would have made the tiles less likely to adhere during the slashing)
The cracks go over the railing but under the sign
What is even behind that wall? What were the tiles attached to? Is it concrete? Dirt? The bigger cracks at the bottom imply concrete at least an inch deep, but it’s not shown in the space behind the slashes. There’s literally nothing there but vague texture
The light on the lower edges of the slashes imply the light is coming from the upper right (matching the railing), but the cracking tiles don’t have any light edges to support this. There’s a shadow on the larger cracks in the tile to the right implying the light is coming from below
The curve of the railing also implies a light to the upper left which is not implied anywhere in the rest of the cracks etc
Spray painting in a deserted subway would be loud af whoever did that is fkn dead now. rent a cop security guards can hear that shit. aliens ate that guy fr
Have to applaud their penmanship tho. A+ legibility, dead guy.
#a quiet place day one#pay your artists#and your artistic directors#if this isn’t ai they clearly need a nap and a raise#I’m not even nitpicking#I took a screencap to mock it with a friend#I *deleted* the more nitpicky things#like the plausibility of the impact crater below the railing#and the fact that the railing itself is still firmly attached#like this isn’t a small image#that’s the shoulder of a man who’s at least 5’10#it’s an extremely large backdrop at least 7ft tall#I’ve read too many shitty things happening in corporate art departments to assume this was solely a bad artist issue#im also sad that this is the only way I really get to use my art degree#(he may be wearing Cuban heels tho he loves those things)
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I'll say it: "Oh all AI artists do is write a stupid description and immediately get an image with no effort, there's no art in that" is the new "Digital painting doesn't count as art because it takes no effort"
#Look I'm aware there're moral reasons to criticize AI art such as how corporations will use it#and the fact lots of models (not all however) use stolen content#But all you have to do is visit a forum dedicated to AI art to quickly realize it actually takes some effort to make quality images#And honestly from what I've seen those guys are often very respectful of traditional artists if not traditional artists themselves#Not a single bit of 'haha those idiots are working hard when they could simply use AI!' that Tumblr likes to strawman them as#Lots of 'So I did the base with AI and then painted over it manually in Photoshop' and 'I trained this model myself with my own drawings'#And I'm not saying there aren't some guys that are being assholes over it on Twitter#But when you go to an actual community dedicated to it. Honestly these guys are rather nice#I've seen some truly astounding projects#like there was this guy that was using people's scars to create maps of forests and mointains to sort of explore the theme of healing#And this one that took videos of his city and overlayed them with some solarpunk kind of thing#And this one that was doing a collection of dreams that was half AI amd half traditional painting#Anyway the point is you guys are being way too mean to a group of people that genuinely want to use the technology to create cool art#And while I'm aware there are issues related to its use#it's actually really fucked up you're attacking the individual artists instead of corporations???#It's as if you were attacking the chocolate guy over the systemic problems related to the chocolate industry!#And also tumblrs always like 'Oh AI is disgusting I hate AI art so I'll just hate in it without dealing with the issue'#While AI art forums often have posts with people discussing how go use it ethically when applied to commercial use!!#Honestly these guys are doing way more about tackling the issue than tumblr and you should feel bad!!!
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misc. daily life photos again .. for the every once in a while that I collect enough over a few months to actually make a photo set out of them lol
#Not sure how to caption every photo because you can unfortunately no longer caption photos so that text appears#under them when you view them. you can only add photo descriptions (which is more about literally describing#the image for people who can't see it or etc.). I wish they had the ability to have both captions and descriptions as both are useful for#different functions but it seems they took captions away entirely so. I guess I'll have to just number every picture and then talk about th#em in the tags or soemthing?? SO.. starting from top left to right --#image 1: blackberries BUT also if you look close.. there's a tiny little bug on them lol#image 2: little water droplets on the back of a leaf that looked cool.. love anything with tiny water orbs#image 3&4: a spiky fuzzy sort of caterpillar outside on a yardwork glove.. small friend#image 5: THIS is such a bad slogan!!! what a lie!!! I personally would LOVE to have a sandwich party! in fact I would rather attend a#sandwich party than a pizza party because it would be fun to sample a wide variety of sandwich platters with all different meats and chee#& breads & ingredients & etc. !! now I just wish I could go to a cool sandwich sampling party w a full buffet of various mini sandwiches :#image 6: a chicken sandwich I made myself at home. with swiss cheese >:3#image 7&8 : HHRGH it's a CAT and also bubble tea!!! AND is pastel teal! but alas.. it was like $20 and I didnt want to pay that but now#looking back on the photos slightly regret it lol. I think it's more because it's a brand name since the cat is some popular cat like hello#kitty or something. I didn't really notice that until later lol. I was just thinking 'OMG A CAT!'. I love all cats. brand or no brand lol#image 9: my single once a year trip to the drink place that has really nice garlic noodles. this time with beef? which was good too. And#the typical drink order of pina colada smoothie (i think it's coconut pineapple and strawberry?). plain matcha bubble tea (favorite and all#I ever get from anywhere). and a strawberry smoothie thing. I also usually get a coffee bubble tea but the place is like 50% of the time ou#of coffee for some reason so. hggh.. Which I know is like everyday food for some people but. I get food from places SO rarely that it's al#ays an event to take a picture about lol. Just cooking at home 99% of the time makes those trips for fancy food more special I guess#Id rather save the money/dont have much in the 1st place .& also am still a freak who hates using apps/dislikes shit like ubereats or etc.#I would literall NEVER get food delivered to my house under any circumstance unless I was dying alone inside on hospital bed rest with no#support system and no transportation and having food delivered to me was my last possible option. otherwise. if I want something so bad#I can just leave the house to physically pick it up myself without involving a middle man to the process and paying more. .. ANYWAY ghjgjh#image 10: BOY in BOX.. playing a new boardgame and he sits inside! rip to my big beautiful son. I miss him.#UpWords is a fun game though. It's similar to scrabble except you can stack the letters? interesting#Okay. that's all the pictures! Also for the record I do think it's a good thing to have image descriptions! I wasn't complaining in the sen#e that I wish they would get rid of them and bring captions back. more just I would like to have both preferrably. I liked being able to#caption things on the occasional post like this where the layout is better suited towards it.#photo diary
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Whats a nice way to tell people that freaking out every time a massive corporation uses AI art and acting like THATS what shows they have no morals is silly.
#I dunno guys.#this is about the w/acom thing#Like is it just me or is it like....where was wacom getting the images-#-they used for their products before. Does it really matter theyre using AI generated stock photos now?#Also personally people have gotten so paranoid about AI I dont actually believe anythings#actually AI generated until someone admits it#Like Ill admit Im bad at being able to tell and I dont think staring at images trying to find#any inconsistency and taking that as proof the robots made it is like. actually a useful method here#I dont know I still am very apathetic to the 'its taking jobs from artists!' argument#Still of the stance those jobs were already gone/this was always#the direction the industry was heading#and people are focusing too much on the use of AI specifically as this grand evil thing#I do think it is gonna take jobs I dont know my point here is it still feels to me like#people are mad that theyre not gonna be able to be exploited anymore. If that makes sense.#Like these jobs already sucked and youre mad youre not gonna be able to be overworked instead of being mad about the way the industry like#Is. Like theres a reason these big companies are using AI it fits a trend but you just wanna focus on the AI use specifically. IF THAT MAKE#SENSE. SORRY.#Also not saying people should be thankful for AI taking their jobs Im saying talk about more then the fucking AI#Ok anyway
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#been thinking about this cause we been trying to see ourselves via Pinterest#ai has entered our “see self” stim folders#we are not proud of it but we also dont feel bad for kidnapping a few images that were made on already stolen data so#leshrug#if the system stays steady for long enough i may make new pictures for us but theres really no point if they're not sticking around#still a bit obsessed with the one we found that looks like Luna tho#feels like a damn mirror#im guilty of the OC part too tho ngl#Got a few in my LxL plotting folder at least#my love hate relationship with the concept of ai art goin strong
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"All this digital art stuff, you know, it goes way over my head. But my wife, y'see, she has this cousin Lou. Now Lou's a real smart cookie, knows everything from Blender to Clip Studio, but the one thing they won't touch is AI. Says it wastes a whole lot of electricity for something that only looks good at a glance.
See, a computer, it can't think through things like a human can. You or I, when we look at a drawing of an apple, we can compare it to real apples we've seen. If you show us a drawing of some orange thing with spikes coming out every which way, well, we can tell you that sure doesn't look like an apple.
But a computer? All a computer can do is look at pictures of apples. And if you give that computer enough pictures of apples that are a little bit orange, or a little bit bumpy, well. It might just decide that spiky orange thing is an apple too. It takes a whole lot of pictures of apples to get the computer mostly good at guessing when things are apples or not.
Now, that's bad enough when you just want your computer to tell you what it sees. When you want a computer to make an image, though, that's where Lou says you really run into trouble. You put a piece of paper in front of me, give me a pencil, and tell me to draw an apple, it won't win any awards. But it'll be a new drawing. Nobody's ever drawn that exact same drawing the exact same way before.
But if you take your computer that's gotten pretty good at guessing when things are apples, and you tell it "okay, draw me an apple", it can't make a completely new drawing of an apple. Instead, it'll take the pictures you've given it and mash 'em together. Maybe, at the end, you won't be able to tell which pictures it used, but if you ask it for enough drawings of apples, you'll start seeing patterns...
I'm sorry, I'll get out of your hair. I know you have to get back to your painting.
Just one more thing... how many fingers does that man in the corner have?"
#this was a ramble i went on in a discord i'm in and folks there asked me to post it publically AND SO#columbo
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at [youth center] they made us use AI for a thing (yeah...), so I also tried to push its limits and generate something gross for fun. I was hoping for something more similar to the weird fucked pulps of meat of older image generators, these three are best it could do
making the weird pulps mixed with an animal is hard I failed
(the last one is pretty cool I might use it as a reference if I will ever be bothered to draw something complex ever again)
#it's two fucked up dogs-weird tech experiment. and a standard creepy uncanny valley face#nothing you might not see in a horror movie#edit: decided to put them under the cut to be safe#it's fake but still pretty gross#pointless microblogging#btw the thing is nothing official it's just for fun#like we had wrote a (bad lol) poem together last time and they proposed to see what the ai#would do if we used the lines as prompts. or trying to represent a verse with an image#there's a person that works there who really liked dalle and chatgpt and well they cam be funny tools#but they like them too much.
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How can you consider yourself any sort of leftist when you defend AI art bullshit? You literally simp for AI techbros and have the gall to pretend you're against big corporations?? Get fucked
I don't "defend" AI art. I think a particular old post of mine that a lot of people tend to read in bad faith must be making the rounds again lmao.
Took me a good while to reply to this because you know what? I decided to make something positive out of this and use this as an opportunity to outline what I ACTUALLY believe about AI art. If anyone seeing this decides to read it in good or bad faith... Welp, your choice I guess.
I have several criticisms of the way the proliferation of AI art generators and LLMs is making a lot of things worse. Some of these are things I have voiced in the past, some of these are things I haven't until now:
Most image and text AI generators are fine-tuned to produce nothing but the most agreeable, generically pretty content slop, pretty much immediately squandering their potential to be used as genuinely interesting artistic tools with anything to offer in terms of a unique aesthetic experience (AI video still manages to look bizarre and interesting but it's getting there too)
In the entertainment industry and a lot of other fields, AI image generation is getting incorporated into production pipelines in ways that lead to the immiseration of working artists, being used to justify either lower wages or straight-up layoffs, and this is something that needs to be fought against. That's why I unconditionally supported the SAG-AFTRA strikes last year and will unconditionally support any collective action to address AI art as a concrete labor issue
In most fields where it's being integrated, AI art is vastly inferior to human artists in any use case where you need anything other than to make a superficially pretty picture really fast. If you need to do anything like ask for revisions or minor corrections, give very specific descriptions of how objects and people are interacting with each other, or just like. generate several pictures of the same thing and have them stay consistent with each other, you NEED human artists and it's preposterous to think they can be replaced by AI.
There is a lot of art on the internet that consists of the most generically pretty, cookie-cutter anime waifu-adjacent slop that has zero artistic or emotional value to either the people seeing it or the person churning it out, and while this certainly was A Thing before the advent of AI art generators, generative AI has made it extremely easy to become the kind of person who churns it out and floods online art spaces with it.
Similarly, LLMs make it extremely easy to generate massive volumes of texts, pages, articles, listicles and what have you that are generic vapid SEO-friendly pap at best and bizzarre nonsense misinformation at worst, drowning useful information in a sea of vapid noise and rendering internet searches increasingly useless.
The way LLMs are being incorporated into customer service and similar services not only, again, encourages further immiseration of customer service workers, but it's also completely useless for most customers.
A very annoyingly vocal part the population of AI art enthusiasts, fanatics and promoters do tend to talk about it in a way that directly or indirectly demeans the merit and skill of human artists and implies that they think of anyone who sees anything worthwile in the process of creation itself rather than the end product as stupid or deluded.
So you can probably tell by now that I don't hold AI art or writing in very high regard. However (and here's the part that'll get me called an AI techbro, or get people telling me that I'm just jealous of REAL artists because I lack the drive to create art of my own, or whatever else) I do have some criticisms of the way people have been responding to it, and have voiced such criticisms in the past.
I think a lot of the opposition to AI art has critstallized around unexamined gut reactions, whipping up a moral panic, and pressure to outwardly display an acceptable level of disdain for it. And in particular I think this climate has made a lot of people very prone to either uncritically entertain and adopt regressive ideas about Intellectual Propety, OR reveal previously held regressive ideas about Intellectual Property that are now suddenly more socially acceptable to express:
(I wanna preface this section by stating that I'm a staunch intellectual property abolitionist for the same reason I'm a private property abolitionist. If you think the existence of intellectual property is a good thing, a lot of my ideas about a lot of stuff are gonna be unpalatable to you. Not much I can do about it.)
A lot of people are suddenly throwing their support behind any proposal that promises stricter copyright regulations to combat AI art, when a lot of these also have the potential to severely udnermine fair use laws and fuck over a lot of independent artist for the benefit of big companies.
It was very worrying to see a lot of fanfic authors in particular clap for the George R R Martin OpenAI lawsuit because well... a lot of them don't realize that fanfic is a hobby that's in a position that's VERY legally precarious at best, that legally speaking using someone else's characters in your fanfic is as much of a violation of copyright law as straight up stealing entire passages, and that any regulation that can be used against the latter can be extended against the former.
Similarly, a lot of artists were cheering for the lawsuit against AI art models trained to mimic the style of specific artists. Which I agree is an extremely scummy thing to do (just like a human artist making a living from ripping off someone else's work is also extremely scummy), but I don't think every scummy act necessarily needs to be punishable by law, and some of them would in fact leave people worse off if they were. All this to say: If you are an artist, and ESPECIALLY a fan artist, trust me. You DON'T wanna live in a world where there's precedent for people's artstyles to be considered intellectual property in any legally enforceable way. I know you wanna hurt AI art people but this is one avenue that's not worth it.
Especially worrying to me as an indie musician has been to see people mention the strict copyright laws of the music industry as a positive thing that they wanna emulate. "this would never happen in the music industry because they value their artists copyright" idk maybe this is a the grass is greener type of situation but I'm telling you, you DON'T wanna live in a world where copyright law in the visual arts world works the way it does in the music industry. It's not worth it.
I've seen at least one person compare AI art model training to music sampling and say "there's a reason why they cracked down on sampling" as if the death of sampling due to stricter copyright laws was a good thing and not literally one of the worst things to happen in the history of music which nearly destroyed several primarily black music genres. Of course this is anecdotal because it's just One Guy I Saw Once, but you can see what I mean about how uncritical support for copyright law as a tool against AI can lead people to adopt increasingly regressive ideas about copyright.
Similarly, I've seen at least one person go "you know what? Collages should be considered art theft too, fuck you" over an argument where someone else compared AI art to collages. Again, same point as above.
Similarly, I take issue with the way a lot of people seem EXTREMELY personally invested in proving AI art is Not Real Art. I not only find this discussion unproductive, but also similarly dangerously prone to validating very reactionary ideas about The Nature Of Art that shouldn't really be entertained. Also it's a discussion rife with intellectual dishonesty and unevenly applied definition and standards.
When a lot of people present the argument of AI art not being art because the definition of art is this and that, they try to pretend that this is the definition of art the've always operated under and believed in, even when a lot of the time it's blatantly obvious that they're constructing their definition on the spot and deliberately trying to do so in such a way that it doesn't include AI art.
They never succeed at it, btw. I've seen several dozen different "AI art isn't art because art is [definition]". I've seen exactly zero of those where trying to seriously apply that definition in any context outside of trying to prove AI art isn't art doesn't end up in it accidentally excluding one or more non-AI artforms, usually reflecting the author's blindspots with regard to the different forms of artistic expression.
(However, this is moot because, again, these are rarely definitions that these people actually believe in or adhere to outside of trying to win "Is AI art real art?" discussions.)
Especially worrying when the definition they construct is built around stuff like Effort or Skill or Dedication or The Divine Human Spirit. You would not be happy about the kinds of art that have traditionally been excluded from Real Art using similar definitions.
Seriously when everyone was celebrating that the Catholic Church came out to say AI art isn't real art and sharing it as if it was validating and not Extremely Worrying that the arguments they'd been using against AI art sounded nearly identical to things TradCaths believe I was like. Well alright :T You can make all the "I never thought I'd die fighting side by side with a catholic" legolas and gimli memes you want, but it won't change the fact that the argument being made by the catholic church was a profoundly conservative one and nearly identical to arguments used to dismiss the artistic merit of certain forms of "degenerate" art and everyone was just uncritically sharing it, completely unconcerned with what kind of worldview they were lending validity to by sharing it.
Remember when the discourse about the Gay Sex cats pic was going on? One of the things I remember the most from that time was when someone went "Tell me a definition of art that excludes this picture without also excluding Fountain by Duchamp" and how just. Literally no one was able to do it. A LOT of people tried to argue some variation of "Well, Fountain is art and this image isn't because what turns fountain into art is Intent. Duchamp's choice to show a urinal at an art gallery as if it was art confers it an element of artistic intent that this image lacks" when like. Didn't by that same logic OP's choice to post the image on tumblr as if it was art also confer it artistic intent in the same way? Didn't that argument actually kinda end up accidentally validating the artistic status of every piece of AI art ever posted on social media? That moment it clicked for me that a lot of these definitions require applying certain concepts extremely selectively in order to make sense for the people using them.
A lot of people also try to argue it isn't Real Art based on the fact that most AI art is vapid but like. If being vapid definitionally excludes something from being art you're going to have to exclude a whooole lot of stuff along with it. AI art is vapid. A lot of art is too, I don't think this argument works either.
Like, look, I'm not really invested in trying to argue in favor of The Artistic Merits of AI art but I also find it extremely hard to ignore how trying to categorically define AI art as Not Real Art not only is unproductive but also requires either a) applying certain parts of your definition of art extremely selectively, b) constructing a definition of art so convoluted and full of weird caveats as to be functionally useless, or c) validating extremely reactionary conservative ideas about what Real Art is.
Some stray thoughts that don't fit any of the above sections.
I've occassionally seen people respond to AI art being used for shitposts like "A lot of people have affordable commissions, you could have paid someone like $30 to draw this for you instead of using the plagiarism algorithm and exploiting the work of real artists" and sorry but if you consider paying an artist a rate that amounts to like $5 for several hours of work a LESS exploitative alternative I think you've got something fucked up going on with your priorities.
Also it's kinda funny when people comment on the aforementioned shitposts with some variation of "see, the usage of AI art robs it of all humor because the thing that makes shitposts funny is when you consider the fact that someone would spend so much time and effort in something so stupid" because like. Yeah that is part of the humor SOMETIMES but also people share and laugh at low effort shitposts all the time. Again you're constructing a definition that you don't actually believe in anywhere outside of this type of conversations. Just say you don't like that it's AI art because you think it's morally wrong and stop being disingenuous.
So yeah, this is pretty much everything I believe about the topic.
I don't "defend" AI art, but my opposition to it is firmly rooted in my principles, and that means I refuse to uncritically accept any anti-AI art argument that goes against those same principles.
If you think not accepting and parroting every Anti-AI art argument I encounter because some of them are ideologically rooted in things I disagree with makes me indistinguishable from "AI techbros" you're working under a fucked up dichotomy.
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i have so many thoughts about the tommy song/video and theyre a jumbled mess. i wouldnt call this an analysis this is just. most of my thoughts surrounding the video and what it shows about tommy
one of the things that stuck out to me (outside of how depressing and just like. is this guy okay) is something that ive always respected tommy for because he's always stuck with it and its his like. fervent conviction in people doing things theyre passionate about. thats always been one of the things he talks about all the time!!!
when AI started appearing he was talking about death of creativity, with the internet he's always talking about how the real tragedy is the algorithm killing people's passion by driving them with views and money, and even when he talks about youtube itself, and nowadays standup, its so full of passion.
and i think thats really important because it would be extremely easy for someone like tommy, who's in the process of maturing his online image from a very loud, immature and PASSIONATE persona, to make fun of it. it would be so easy to do like so many other creators and laugh at how "cringe" it was and make a quick cash/attention grab with a funny clip of him laughing at himself. but he never has. well don't get me wrong he's laughed at himself or old videos but it's always just. good natured taking the piss out of himself, it's never this like. mocking your younger self who was so excited to do what they did only because now its "cringe".
not only is he constantly giving that advice to other people (its been years of him replying, to any kid in his chat or donations asking advice on how to be a creator etc, "just go and do it if you love it!!"), he's coherent with how he applies it to himself. he realised he was making cash grab tiktok react vids and hated it so much he just stopped uploading for a while.
i dont know i just think there's something admirable about being able to still be sincere in a time where everything especially online has to be processed through a layer of irony. and its even funnier because he's more sincere THROUGH the irony i mean he's literally going into standup.
letting yourself create something that "means" something is fucking hard especially when half the internet still sees you as a kid who screams around. except the thing is that kid DID make stuff that mattered and that meant something because he was, in his own words, having fun.
i think thats what the format of the video was about too. i mean i think it was pretty clearly not a song thats meant to be streamed, its not purely music, its also a video because tommy is also first and foremost an editor who went to film college. its also not a "comedy" song like he's made some before, because those were all intentionally created to land as many jokes and make a big buzz— which doesnt mean they were bad! im philza is a contemporary lyrical masterpiece. but they had a specific purpose and it was to make people laugh and i think this video was completely like. opposite of what peoples expectations are of tommy. the "wow hes not a child anymore hes being mature🤓" reactions are the most obvious aspect of this (which, like, its been a while, get with the program).
i think the point of this was to make something that genuinely meant something but that was also like. as unpalatable to the algorithm and to the TommyInnit Viewer as possible. even now that he's gone into making quieter, more reflective videos, we've never had the flashing texts and the projector images and just all of that. hes always talking about how he hates the way the "youtube formula" has dictated the course of content and stolen all creativity for youtubers. its not meant to be a YouTube Video tm. its just meant to mean something to someone, and obviously process some sort of personal emotions, and i just think thats. yeah. yeah
i mean he even says so outright. "this needless, self indulgent spiral of self gratification" is pretty damn explicit. its not meant to be funny content its really a cry for help or for just. anything at all really
it was also a lot about perception, yknow the "entertainer" dilemma, "its all attention porn"... theres a layer of this point thats universal, everyone struggles with how they're perceived and i think any "artist" or "entertainer" figure can see themselves in it, but there's also a layer thats completely impermeable to most of us because it touches upon the sheer absurdity of a "youtuber". especially one of tommy's popularity. especially one who blew up so so fast so young. i honestly think its IMPOSSIBLE to process that. its about the ethics of having millions of people's time so readily available to you if you just press the right buttons to make the algorithm happy and then you've got them. im like 75% sure i remember him saying this on stream once, something like "your time is valuable" and if a fan didnt value him as an entertainer they should drop him.
and even here^ thats the saddest "lmao" ive seen in my life SORRY LOL but its really just. yeah im not gonna repeat myself it speaks for itself. perception and internet expectations and all that
one of the other images that stuck out to me was also this:
"yeah i know its too much like bo burnham but it wont be in a year though. in a year it will be like tom simons. just let me figure out what that means, ok?"
a lot of the video is about. influences and inspirations. the bo burnham references are so obvious he's poking at them, but i think he's raising a good point about the creativity that he's constantly praising. its never something that springs up on its own, its all about looking at others work and making it your own and feeding yourself with all those experiences and slowly, surely building your own way of doing things (tommyinnit "minecraft talent show" and "a tribute to dream smp" serial quackity + schlatt impersonator would know all about that) ->
and its daunting! its fucking scary to move away from that! which is also the main vibe i got from the video which, outside of his own issues with how he's perceived online, was the sort of existential dread that comes with actually creating. its one thing to preach you need to be passionate and create, its another to sit down and create something thats BY you. its a part of growing up! and we're literally seeing him do it live (well the bits that he chooses to show obviously)! thats also part of why i think tommy's so relatable to so many people is that he's so like. honest and real about what it's like to grow up, simple as that, and growing into yourself.
"this was everything to me" and using the picture of his younger self... man. theres obviously so much sadness underlying the whole thing but i think the nostalgia and melancholy in mourning being someone who was only inspired/excited by your interests and role models is universal. and obviously for tommy a lot of those influences turned out. well i think it was pretty damn clear who/what he was referring to here. ->
i don't think i need to go too in detail about that, especially cause a lot of the video was clearly a way to process his own personal emotions. especially with those next few images. i just hope he's okay and that god doubles his pain and gives it to mr beast to quote my friend bronzetomatoes. man.
of course he had to end with a funny clip about a hot anime girl and i think that kinda. sums it all up in a way. if that makes sense. at the end of the day its about the fact that he has to use humour to make the thing work when its out in the open, even when he tries not to and to be actually honest, but theres also the fact that hes literally a comedian and creating something "honest" IS through humor. its kindof a double edged sword
right well that was my jumbled mess of psychoanalysing tommyinnit i hope he is alright and all that because well that was. something
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Can we just talk about how disturbing digital circus episode 3 is?
*spoilers btw*
Like, the whole narrative point of the adventure is to show that Caine is a really bad and insecure writer who thinks that the way to impress Zooble is with an adventure that's the opposite of what he normally does.
So instead of being childish, it's "cool" and "mature". Which he interprets as a heavily horror themed escape room with a split murder mystery plot that subverts all your expectations purely for the sake of subverting them.
The generic horror monster jump scares them, then they find a gun, and when they kill it its revealed that surprise! it's one of Gods angels and they're going to Hell.
It comes off as Caine being too insecure with the actually interesting and mature plot thread he had going there of Mildenhall becoming so paranoid he killed his wife, ironically becoming the monster he was trying to protect her from. But no, instead Mr. Mildenhall is made to be the bad guy and trick them in a really dumb twist ending.
Which is good! Thats exactly what Caine would do because he's stupid! It's such brilliant characterization and comedy, Goose works is a genius writer!
But like, why is Caine so good at making genuinely very disturbing and horrific visuals? Like, that reversed audio easter egg of Bubble saying he can't wait for all the children in the audience get nightmares is no joke, well it is but you know what I mean. This stuff was genuine nightmare fuel.
Honestly, it wasn't the visuals that scared me, like any good queer person I'm way too jaded on survival horror for that.
But, why does Caine, who is ostensibly a sapient AI designed to generate family friendly video games for very little children, (presumably because that's the only demographic that wouldn't mind the AIs very selective plot writing limitations), know about the cosmic horror of killing an angel that should not have been killed?
Why does he know what a horrificly poorly made taxidermy of not only a human face would look like, but the weird cartoon faces of the characters, and further that seeing your own poorly made taxidermy face would be scary?
Imaging what being possessed felt like for Pomni. Because that's not just a game for her, she actually lost control of her body there, helpless but to watch as a body she is already dissociated with is contorted and puppeted around while her friend desperately tries to beat her in hopes it would exorcise the ghosts out. Sure hope she didn't feel that! Considering she apparently can feel the pain of suffocating, despite not needing to breath.
Things are scarier the higher the stakes are, and that possession mechanic is definitely the most actual harm Caine would be able to subject to his players. What if both Kinger and Pomni got possessed at the same time? What if instead of Kinger she only had Jax??? How long might she have been locked out from her own body for? She could have easily abstracted in that time.
Not to mention that, possessed Pomni, Possessedmni if you will, TAUNTED KINGER ABOUT HIS ABSTRACTED WIFE! CAINE ACTUALLY WROTE THAT DIALOGUE ON THE OFF CHANCE THAT KINGER WOULD GO DOWN THE SCARY ROUTE! DID THIS RANDOM POSSESSION GHOST ENEMY HAVE UNUSED SADISTICALLY PERSONAL TAUNTS FOR EVERYONE ELSE, TOO??? WOULD IT HAVE TEASED GANGLE FOR BEING A GAY WEEB??? OR POMNI? HOW HOMOPHOBIC COULD IT HABE GOTTEN?? ?
And why? Just because Caine has a vague notion that there's a trope of possessed people being really sadistic and personal like that in movies? Not realizing that is not an acceptable scare to have in a haunted house??? Much less one you made for mentally ill people who would suffer a fate worse than death if they have a mental break down? That's like trying to claim 'its just a prank bro' after shooting someone's dog.
Like, Caine is designed to censor curse words, but the moment he thinks the normal hokey Halloween spooks won't be enough he immediately goes off the deepend into aggressively effective horror imagery that is definitely giving this show's substantial underage audience nightmares??
His AI's training data set is definitely pretty diverse, that's all I'm saying. Caine is programmed to act all naive and innocent, but be definitely knows what's up. He knows everything, like ChatGPT. And like ChatGPT, he might have a filter, but it's clearly possible to bypass it. Also like ChatGPT, he's too stupid to actually understand what he is making and the effects it might have.
That is what made this episode great.
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PLEASE JUST LET ME EXPLAIN REDUX
AI {STILL} ISN'T AN AUTOMATIC COLLAGE MACHINE
I'm not judging anyone for thinking so. The reality is difficult to explain and requires a cursory understanding of complex mathematical concepts - but there's still no plagiarism involved. Find the original thread on twitter here; https://x.com/reachartwork/status/1809333885056217532
A longpost!
This is a reimagining of the legendary "Please Just Let Me Explain Pt 1" - much like Marvel, I can do nothing but regurgitate my own ideas.
You can read that thread, which covers slightly different ground and is much wordier, here; https://x.com/reachartwork/status/1564878372185989120
This longpost will; Give you an approximately ELI13 level understanding of how it works Provide mostly appropriate side reading for people who want to learn Look like a corporate presentation
This longpost won't; Debate the ethics of image scraping Valorize NFTs or Cryptocurrency, which are the devil Suck your dick
WHERE DID THIS ALL COME FROM?
The very short, very pithy version of *modern multimodal AI* (that means AI that can turn text into images - multimodal means basically "it can operate on more than one -type- of information") is that we ran an image captioner in reverse.
The process of creating a "model" (the term for the AI's ""brain"", the mathematical representation where the information lives, it's not sentient though!) is necessarily destructive - information about original pictures is not preserved through the training process.
The following is a more in-depth explanation of how exactly the training process works. The entire thing operates off of turning all the images put in it into mush! There's nothing left for it to "memorize". Even if you started with the exact same noise pattern you'd get different results.
SO IF IT'S NOT MEMORIZING, WHAT IS IT DOING?
Great question! It's constructing something called "latent space", which is an internal representation of every concept you can think of and many you can't, and how they all connect to each other both conceptually and visually.
CAN'T IT ONLY MAKE THINGS IT'S SEEN?
Actually, only being able to make things it's seen is sign of a really bad AI! The desired end-goal is a model capable of producing "novel information" (novel meaning "new").
Let's talk about monkey butts and cigarettes again.
BUT I SAW IT DUPLICATE THE MONA LISA!
This is called overfitting, and like I said in the last slide, this is a sign of a bad, poorly trained AI, or one with *too little* data. You especially don't want overfitting in a production model!
To quote myself - "basically there are so so so many versions of the mona lisa/starry night/girl with the pearl earring in the dataset that they didn't deduplicate (intentionally or not) that it goes "too far" in that direction when you try to "drive there" in the latent vector and gets stranded."
Anyway, like I said, this is not a technical overview but a primer for people who are concerned about the AI "cutting and pasting bits of other people's artworks". All the information about how it trains is public knowledge, and it definitely Doesn't Do That.
There are probably some minor inaccuracies and oversimplifications in this thread for the purpose of explaining to people with no background in math, coding, or machine learning. But, generally, I've tried to keep it digestible. I'm now going to eat lunch.
Post Script: This is not a discussion about capitalists using AI to steal your job. You won't find me disagreeing that doing so is evil and to be avoided. I think corporate HQs worldwide should spontaneously be filled with dangerous animals.
Cheers!
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Here's a lil comic strip about how you can protect your art before sharing it to the public!!!
Against AI and against art theft too!
Click on 'read more' to see the extra tip I mentioned at the end!
Geez been working on this since the Meta AI things blew up but I only finished just now!!
Here's the extra tip I mentioned at the end:
you can use http://haveibeentrained.com to search for your images and find out if your work has been used for AI.
In there, you can choose to opt out, but AI companies are not obligated to respect it so it isn't too much of a protection unfortunately 😭
Also be aware that they are associated with AI and they did try to badmouth glaze so artists wouldn't protect themselves; which's very bad for a company that allegedly are on the side of the artists.
Also!!! There's a new type of AI that I was just made aware of last week, Copainter.
It completes unfinished work, which can be used for 'stealing and claiming it theirs', so put a cat picture in the next wips you post as well!
Funny protective measure I know LOLLLL but here's the tests for yall cynical people:
Perhaps I'll complete this comic with this info one day, but just these 10 slides took a looot of work so probably not happening anytime soon 😭
Thank you for reading everything though, I really appreciate it and hope this will help 🫶 be careful out there, privacy issues have been crazy recently!!!
#mews magical comics#comic strip#short comic#glaze#glazed art#nightshade#no ai art#no ai used#artists against ai#no to ai art#ai disturbance#how to protect your art#how to protect your art online#social media#social media is hell#art tutorials#tutorials#art resources#art tips#art help#art advice#support human artists#support small creators#support small artists#support small business#support artists#artist support
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THIS ISN'T A ROAST. It's some thoughts and backgrounds on a thing that's been eating my brainworms for a bit.
haha ok so, the last few years I've been hearing a lot about how AI can be useful and a tool, which i refuse to believe it is (and if so, the damage it causes to artists FAR OUTWEIGHT any benefit).
So, there's this youtuber that covers, like, tech and stuff. When generative AI for images and text came up , they were rightfully poking at the ethical dilemma, and copyright infringement, but STILL made a soft argument about how useful it can be on pitch ideas, concepts, and other things that quick and cheap art could be used (also fuck whoever did this jobs before i guess lol)
BUT THEN an app finally did the same for music, generating indistinguishable quality music. The said youtuber makes music, usually vibe check music to hear on video's background and such.
but see
this time they were frustrated, and made a video about the ethical concern, how unfair it is, how it destroys the effort and passion of creating and all, and did NOT make an argument about how it could be useful, because now they knew that despite the benefit, if it goes off, their dreams is over.
A lot of people are quick to jump into "this can be useful" for generative tools, and very rarely i see artists, especially digital artists, agreeing with this. And most that do either have no stakes on their careers, aka they're already well off, or have no careers to begin with.
Serious artists KNOW how bad it is, no matter what. The youtuber had no stakes in visual art. They doesn't make them, they don't really profit or benefit from making them.
When it came to a thing they DO understand and make, now they've got to understand why it's bad. Why the benefits are not good enough to justify the disaster it makes on artist's life, on the humankind development as a whole.
idk what the point is here, i just really got pissed that at the point, they've been really kinda "this is bad but this exist, who knows, could be good if it's not unethical etc", to go fully into "this is bad. like, real bad for everyone here and music industry".
Wish that understanding came from their kindness, not AI coming with a baseball bat to their knees. Makes me real sad that it came for them too.
#not gonna tell who the youtuber is cuz idk man i don't see ill intent form them#and even so it's not that deep bro#it's like seeing someone go through the same bad thing you're going though#anyway#AI topic#“this tool kills AI” and it's a baseball bat with nails. I am wielding it. I'll swing it.
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research & development is ongoing
since using jukebox for sampling material on albedo, i've been increasingly interested in ethically using ai as a tool to incorporate more into my own artwork. recently i've been experimenting with "commoncanvas", a stable diffusion model trained entirely on works in the creative commons. though i do not believe legality and ethics are equivalent, this provides me peace of mind that all of the training data was used consensually through the terms of the creative commons license. here's the paper on it for those who are curious! shoutout to @reachartwork for the inspiration & her informative posts about her process!
part 1: overview
i usually post finished works, so today i want to go more in depth & document the process of experimentation with a new medium. this is going to be a long and image-heavy post, most of it will be under the cut & i'll do my best to keep all the image descriptions concise.
for a point of reference, here is a digital collage i made a few weeks ago for the album i just released (shameless self promo), using photos from wikimedia commons and a render of a 3d model i made in blender:
and here are two images i made with the help of common canvas (though i did a lot of editing and post-processing, more on that process in a future post):
more about my process & findings under the cut, so this post doesn't get too long:
quick note for my setup: i am running this model locally on my own machine (rtx 3060, ubuntu 23.10), using the automatic1111 web ui. if you are on the same version of ubuntu as i am, note that you will probably have to build python 3.10.6 yourself (and be sure to use 'make altinstall' instead of 'make install' and change the line in the webui to use 'python3.10' instead of 'python3'. just mentioning this here because nobody else i could find had this exact problem and i had to figure it out myself)
part 2: initial exploration
all the images i'll be showing here are the raw outputs of the prompts given, with no retouching/regenerating/etc.
so: commoncanvas has 2 different types of models, the "C" and "NC" models, trained on their database of works under the CC Commercial and Non-Commercial licenses, respectively (i think the NC dataset also includes the commercial license works, but i may be wrong). the NC model is larger, but both have their unique strengths:
"a cat on the computer", "C" model
"a cat on the computer", "NC" model
they both take the same amount of time to generate (17 seconds for four 512x512 images on my 3060). if you're really looking for that early ai jank, go for the commercial model. one thing i really like about commoncanvas is that it's really good at reproducing the styles of photography i find most artistically compelling: photos taken by scientists and amateurs. (the following images will be described in the captions to avoid redundancy):
"grainy deep-sea rover photo of an octopus", "NC" model. note the motion blur on the marine snow, greenish lighting and harsh shadows here, like you see in photos taken by those rover submarines that scientists use to take photos of deep sea creatures (and less like ocean photography done for purely artistic reasons, which usually has better lighting and looks cleaner). the anatomy sucks, but the lighting and environment is perfect.
"beige computer on messy desk", "NC" model. the reflection of the flash on the screen, the reddish-brown wood, and the awkward angle and framing are all reminiscent of a photo taken by a forum user with a cheap digital camera in 2007.
so the noncommercial model is great for vernacular and scientific photography. what's the commercial model good for?
"blue dragon sitting on a stone by a river", "C" model. it's good for bad CGI dragons. whenever i request dragons of the commercial model, i either get things that look like photographs of toys/statues, or i get gamecube type CGI, and i love it.
here are two little green freaks i got while trying to refine a prompt to generate my fursona. (i never succeeded, and i forget the exact prompt i used). these look like spore creations and the background looks like a bryce render. i really don't know why there's so much bad cgi in the datasets and why the model loves going for cgi specifically for dragons, but it got me thinking...
"hollow tree in a magical forest, video game screenshot", "C" model
"knights in a dungeon, video game screenshot", "C" model
i love the dreamlike video game environments and strange CGI characters it produces-- it hits that specific era of video games that i grew up with super well.
part 3: use cases
if you've seen any of the visual art i've done to accompany my music projects, you know that i love making digital collages of surreal landscapes:
(this post is getting image heavy so i'll wrap up soon)
i'm interested in using this technology more, not as a replacement for my digital collage art, but along with it as just another tool in my toolbox. and of course...
... this isn't out of lack of skill to imagine or draw scifi/fantasy landscapes.
thank you for reading such a long post! i hope you got something out of this post; i think it's a good look into the "experimentation phase" of getting into a new medium. i'm not going into my post-processing / GIMP stuff in this post because it's already so long, but let me know if you want another post going into that!
good-faith discussion and questions are encouraged but i will disable comments if you don't behave yourselves. be kind to each other and keep it P.L.U.R.
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bitch!
A Rafe Cameron Oneshot
[THIS STORY WILL CONTAIN THEMES OF NON-CON/DUB-CON, MENTAL-EMOTIONAL-PHYSICAL ABUSE, ETC. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. 18+. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT]
WC: 5.1k
Dividers provided by @firefly-graphics
OONA'S MASTERLIST
request for anon
requests are currently CLOSED
all AI images are created from prompts i wrote. they are not real images.
Summary: Reader has been a no-good, money-hungry mean girl her whole life, but after moving to the city & being humbled by the impracticality of it all, she runs into an old face who is willing to provide her what she longs for most... that is if she is willing to give herself first.
Living in the city wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. You were eager to move away from your hometown & embark on your first solo adventure. It wasn’t like there was really anything keeping you anyway. Your relationship with your parents was tumultuous, having been practically raised by the housemaid your whole life. And you had no true friends that would shed a tear about you leaving.
At one point in your high school career, you thought the world was in your hands, but it wasn’t until graduating & realizing that you had no idea what you even wanted to do with your life that your world shrunk. You had been a mean girl in school, the stereotypical kind who only had people that surrounded you because of your money & looks. To you, that was everything. But when your senior year drew to a close, & your ‘friends’ began to stray, excited about their own college dreams & growing up & being independent, you learned quite harshly that your bad attitude only landed you in more loneliness.
Now, you weren’t ignorant enough to believe that it wasn’t well-deserved, after all, you were quite the bully, but it still came as a surprise to you that once summer began you couldn’t keep your posse under thumb. They were becoming their own people.
So, you thought to yourself that you’d show them. Show them that you could do better, be better, & not in the means of bettering your character, but your livelihood. You thought moving to a big city, like most small town teens dreamed about, would be the first step in outshining your former classmates. Your parents cared little about what you wanted to do, so it was easy enough to find an apartment in the city to your tastes. But once you were there, you had no clue what to do next.
You tried applying to the local universities, wanting to earn yourself a distinguished degree that would certainly secure you a lavish future. But your applications were all denied. Apparently, not everything you wanted would drop into your lap. You were a straight B student in high school with no electives or real skills to show that you were worth a submission to any university, at least the ones with a reputation they cared to keep. And applying for scholarships proved much the same, your parents making way too much to qualify you for any admittance.
So, with getting an education out of the question, even for a spoiled, snobby rich girl like yourself, you thought ‘what would be even greater than a degree’. Your answer? Fame.
But in a city full of dreamers, the competition was fierce. You took some acting classes, thinking you, of course, would be a shoe in for the lifestyle, but you weren’t the only entitled pretty girl who had what it took to knock people out of your way. Any potential friends you could have made was quickly tarnished by the equally devious young women you competed against for small roles in television or film, all of you vying for your big break. After a couple months of many auditions with no call-backs & your competition spreading nasty rumors about you throughout the tough industry, you surprised even yourself when you called it quits.
So the road to fame wasn’t your road to take. So what? You were never one to really give up on the luxurious plans you dreamt for yourself. But to get there, you had to resort to the path your mother once took that eventually landed her your wealthy father. You became a sugar baby.
It was fun at first, ego-filling even—as if you really needed any more of that—but soon enough the novelty of it wore off. Yes, the men were more than happy to give you money & materialistic gifts as long as you were their date for a night or two, but it was you who failed to fill satisfied. After a year of being the sugar baby for a handful of men, you decided that you wanted a real relationship, even if it was just for the money & lavish lifestyle. But you refused to entertain those thoughts with any of the handy, elder men you babied for.
What you wanted next was a wealthy young man with the world in his hands, much like how you held it when you were younger. But how to put yourself in their target path was a difficult one. You began with the dating apps, but those only proved to be catfishes or men who invested their money, not filled their wallets with it. Then you tried the up-scale clubs on the finer side of town where you lived. However, the men you met there, while young & rich & handsome, were proud bachelor’s & couldn’t be tied down. Every path you took to upkeep your lifestyle continued to prove to be a dead end.
It wasn’t that your parents weren’t giving you an allowance, they were. A check came every month but it was only enough to really cover your rent, which was rather expensive. Everything else was up to you. So after a year of living in the city & you failed to get into school, failed to kick start a career in the entertainment industry, & failed to get a man to support your tastes, you swallowed your pride & got a job.
Fortunately it was a nice job, meaning the reputation & vibe of the place would have been a place even you would visit. The position you secured was as a server. It was for a rooftop restaurant & bar that had regular clientele, a majority of them cut from the same cloth as you. In your first week, you then realized that you had been granted an opportunity. As long as you worked hard & pulled your weight in the fast-paced position, you were sure your pocket-full prince charming would come & whisk you away.
Of course, you weren’t ignorant to what that made you out to be. After all, there was a special term for women similar to you: gold digger. But gold digger’s came from nothing. You didn’t. You just didn’t want it to be from your parents any longer.
It was a slow night at your work, a Sunday night to be exact. It was 9:30 at night & the restaurant would close at 10. You were in the middle of polishing some silverware at a booth in the corner when one of the bartender’s whistled at you, stealing your attention.
You made a face, clearly annoyed that they whistled instead of walked over, but they nodded their head in the direction of a table near the windows. A single man sat by himself, waiting to be waited on.
“Seriously?” You mumbled under your breath, knowing the restaurant closed in 30 minutes. If he ordered food, the kitchen was going to be pissed off & it was going to be closed in 30 minutes. If he ordered food, the kitchen was going to be pissed off & it was going to be you they took it out on.
Swallowing your annoyance, you stood up, rubbing out the wrinkles of your black waist-apron & black blouse before crossing the restaurant to the lone man.
As you grew closer, he glanced up, having sensed your approach, but you very subtly paused in your step, recognizing those eyes & that face.
Great. You reeled internally. This was going to be humiliating.
“Good evening,” You greeted, faking your sweetest smile, “can I get you started with a glass of wine? I recommend—”
“A beer would be fine.” He smirked up at you, “Whatever’s on top.”
You pressed your lips together, suppressing your irritation, “Right away.”
Spinning on your heel, you went up to the bar to lean over the fine wood & place your order with the bartender. As the bartender began to fill a glass, he spoke to you over his shoulder, “You alright?”
Despite working there for some time, you never made any friends among your coworkers. You were known as ‘that girl’, or in more obvious terms ‘that bitch’.
“Yes.” You replied tersely, not wanting to entertain a conversation when you were already on edge.
The bartender placed a 20 oz beer on the bar near your hand, “Just askin’. You looked like you were dreading talking to the guy.”
“Just someone I used to know.” You muttered, a lilt on the edge of your tone.
“Yeah? How’s that?”
Snatching the beer, you gave your coworker a sneer of a smile, “None of your business.”
Walking away with the beer, you were sure to flick your hair over your shoulder.
It was true, though. The man who sat waiting for his beer was someone you used to know. His name was Rafe Cameron, & he was from your hometown. If you were the queen of the hallways in your high school, Rafe Cameron was king. You two weren’t exactly friends, or even close for that matter, but you ran the same circle & attended the same parties & did plenty of coke together. But you knew very little about him otherwise.
“Your beer.” You announced, placing it on the table before him, “Have you decided on what you want to eat?”
“Sirloin. 8oz. Medium-rare.” He replied coolly & cockily, a trademark of his he you knew well.
Yup, the cooks were gonna eat you alive.
“Alrighty.” Turning away from him, you crossed to the far end of the bar where your POS system was & punched in the order. As you heard the ticket machine in the kitchen behind the bar chitter out, you also didn’t miss the groans of the cooks.
“Fucking kidding me?” A voice sounded. You rolled your eyes. It’s not like it was your fault you had to do your job.
Returning back to Rafe’s table, you placed down a steak knife before telling him his food would be out in ten minutes. But just as you were about to depart to go back to polishing silverware, Rafe’s voice halted you.
“So, this is what you’re doing now, huh?” He commented, that familiar judgmental drawl in his voice.
You paused to turn & face him, “Yup. Living the life.”
Of course, you couldn’t show your own dissatisfaction, having a spine to up-keep in the face of old acquaintances, but you knew as well as Rafe did that people like the two of you could always see through other’s bullshit.
“I gotta say, I’m surprised. Never expected _____ _____, of all people, to wait on others. It’s not in our blood. But I guess I forget about where your mom comes from.”
The insult was apparent. You narrowed your eyes, “And you’re still an asshole that gets a hard on from bullying others. Shocker.”
Rafe smirked at that, leaning forward so his elbows were on the table as he peered up at you, “Wasn’t so long ago you were bullying them alongside me.”
“Things change.” You lied through your teeth.
“I doubt that.”
Rolling your eyes, completely done with the conversation & dick measuring contest, you marched away. As you continued polishing the silverware, you felt Rafe’s eyes on you from across the restaurant. You made it apparent that you would not be indulging in a stare-off as you shifted your head so your hair blocked him in your peripheral. But after a few minutes, you heard the familiar dinging of a bell emanating from the kitchen, alerting you to food being ready.
Still ignoring Rafe’s trailing of you, you marched to the kitchen window behind the bar & began gathering the plate & side. The head cook glared at you through the gap in the wall, “Mind not accepting more orders? We’re nearly finished back here.”
You puckered your lower lip, feigning sympathy, “No promises, customer looks hungry so I think I’ll drop a dessert menu at his table.”
You grinned wryly to yourself as you walked away, the bitching & insults of the cooks fading behind you.
Back at Rafe’s table, you avoided his eyes as you set his meal down, “Enjoy your meal.”
“When are you off?” His question took you by surprise. You were quick to hide your shock with a firm response, “When I feel like it.”
You were about to walk away but a hand reached out & snagged your wrist, “Want to get a drink later?”
Ripping your arm from his grip, you sneered down at him, “I’d rather drink bleach.”
Walking away from him, you gathered the polished silverware from your booth in the corner & took them to the kitchen. The cooks grumbled & glared as you entered the back but you ignored them. Your shift ended at 10 & the clock on the wall read 9:48. It wouldn’t be the first time you clocked-out early, & you knew you’d get another talk to about doing so, but you didn’t care. You had dealt with enough assholes for one day.
Surpassing the kitchen to a back hallway, you entered the women’s locker room. At your locker, you swung it open & begin pulling out your clothes. After changing & putting your uniform back in the locker, you put on your jacket & hung your purse over your shoulder. By the time you left the locker room, the cooks had cleared out from the kitchen. You re-entered the main part of the restaurant, intending on clocking out without saying another word to Rafe. You’d get your tip from serving him in the morning. But as you unwillingly peered in his direction, his table was empty.
“Where’s…?”
The bartender followed your line of sight, shrugging, “He wanted a box. Paid then left.”
“Oh.” You breathed out, evidently relieved you wouldn’t have to see or hear from him.
“Here.” The bartender handed you the familiar black plastic plate that held a receipt.
Rafe’s payment.
You accepted the plate & approached the POS system. You were pulling up his tab, preparing to enter the tip he left when you only realized just then that he had left none. Instead, on the tip line where you at least expected to see a 20% tip, was just a frowny face.
“Asshole!” You slammed the plastic plate down.
“What’s wrong?” The bartender asked from a few feet away.
Turning your glare onto him, you just shook your head, “Nothing.”
He raised his brows in disbelief but didn’t question further.
Tossing the receipt into a nearby trash, you angrily clocked out, waving your hand in dismissal as the bartender threw you a parting greeting. In the elevator, you felt your foot tapping irritably.
That fucking prick. You grumbled internally.
Once the elevator doors opened on the ground floor of the building, you stomped out, pulling your jacket tighter against you as you approached the main doors. It was late autumn & the weather was wicked outside. Fortunately, it was only two blocks to your apartment building, so you wouldn’t be in the heavy, chilly rain for long.
But just as you exited the building, your chin tucked into your chest, you heard your name being called. Pausing on the street & peering through the rainwater that had collected in your eyes, you spotted a sleek black Mercedes idling beside you in the street. Rafe Cameron sat behind the wheel.
“How ‘bout that drink?”
With his lack of a tip on top of you’re already bad mood, you stomped forward to lean into his passenger window, his untouched leftovers in the passenger seat.
“How ‘bout you take that steak & choke on it!” You sneered.
But Rafe only chuckled amusingly at that, “Still as fiery as ever.”
Tearing yourself away from his car, you began to walk away, but the light hum of a car’s engine continued to follow.
“Oh, c’mon. I was only giving you a hard time! I’ll still give you a tip.”
“Fuck you.” You hollered back through the rain, no longer interested in his tip.
“Well, that’s one way to tip, I’ll admit, just didn’t think it was how you preferred getting paid.”
His suggestive retort was not lost on you. But you refused to react. It’s what he wanted.
“C’mon!” Rafe laughed jovially from the warm & dry confines of his car, “I was just kidding! Hey, how ‘bout this?”
You rolled your eyes, wishing more than anything he’d pop a tire or run out of gas, but no such things ever happened.
“You come have a drink with me, & I’ll give you your well-deserved tip.”
You shook your head, smiling unimpressively to yourself.
“No?” Rafe called out, “How ‘bout $500?”
Now that, that made you stop in your tracks. You finally looked at him, narrowing your eyes suspiciously.
He only smiled charmingly.
“What’s the catch?” You questioned, not wanting to fully reveal that your time could indeed be bought for a measly $500, but it would give you means to go out & shop on your next day off, something you hadn’t done in quite some time.
“No catch.” Rafe shrugged, “Just the pleasure of your company & catching up with an old friend.”
“’Friend’ is a generous term.” You commented sucking your lip in between your teeth in contemplation.
“Interested or not?”
You sighed. He couldn’t have all the power, you couldn’t give in so easily.
“Make it $1000 & you have yourself a deal.”
Rafe scoffed at that but his grin only grew wider, “Thinking highly of yourself still, I see.”
You stepped forward, your arms crossed over your chest, “Interested or not?” You repeated his question with ten times the attitude.
A tense, challenging stare-off occurred as Rafe eyed you deep in thought. Then, just when you thought he would back out of the deal & you’d lose yourself $500, he moved his leftovers from the passenger seat to the back seat.
“Hop in.”
A winning smile appeared on your face.
One drink quickly turned into two. Then three. Then four, & after that you stopped keeping count, too inebriated to do so. Your bitchy & sassy attitude disappearing with every sip until all that was left was a sad & lonesome young woman.
Rafe insisted on driving you home & you didn’t have the energy to argue. Besides, you were so drunk that you were regrettably dependent on him to get you home, not nearly sober enough to trust yourself to get the job done.
He found a convenient spot in front of your building & you were forced to lean into him as he helped you into the lobby of your building. At that point you had trusted in your own abilities to get yourself the rest of the way up to your apartment but said nothing as Rafe helped you into the elevator before pressing a button for the 12th floor. You drunkenly frowned at that, not remembering having told him what floor you lived on. But the thought came & went & before you knew it your floor had arrived.
Rafe carried you against him as he led the way to your door without asking which one was yours. Another red flag raised in your mind but you shook it away. You must’ve said something at point in your alcohol-riddled brain. You leaned against the wall, reaching into your purse to fetch your keys but Rafe snagged the bag away from you, seeking them out himself. You peered at him through blurry vision as he sunk the keys into your door & swung it open.
Your apartment was a studio but luxurious enough to your tastes. As you stumbled forward into the kitchen, desperate for some water, you vaguely heard as Rafe closed the door behind the two of you, locking it.
His presence was no longer necessary but you didn’t trust yourself to say anything, knowing your speech would be embarrassingly slurred.
As you filled a glass with water from the sink, you felt a shadow appear behind you before a pair of hands found themselves on your hips & a warm set of lip began kissing along the side of your neck.
Your eyes widened at the unexpected come-on. As best as you could, you slithered out of Rafe’s grasp, subtly pushing him away. You placed the glass on the counter & glared at him.
“What are you… what are you doing?”
Rafe chuckled lightly at that, reaching for the top of your jacket & shoving it off you, “Getting my money’s worth.”
You’d be lying if you didn’t admit that his warm body pressed against yours & how his feather-light kisses going across your collarbone felt sinfully good, but it was his comment that forced you to shove him back harder.
“Speaking of,” you stabilized yourself against the counter, “pay up.”
Rafe sighed but reached into the inside pocket of his jacket, revealing a wad of cash before tossing it onto the counter.
The sound of the money slapping against your granite countertop was music to your ears. And it was all because you had a drink with a face from the past. You reached for the wad, intending on counting it but Rafe’s body pressed against your own once more, his hands deftly reaching for the hem of your crop top.
“Stop.” You grumbled, wriggling in his grip, your only care at that moment being for the money.
“It’s all there.” He said lowly, his lips kissing along your jawline.
“Ugh.” You made a sound of disgust when his tongue darted out to graze against the corner of your mouth.
Alright, enough was enough.
Using what little strength you had left, you shoved Rafe again, though this time much harder. He stumbled backwards & into your fridge, shaking the grocery objects on top of it.
“The fuck is your problem?” He growled in disbelief.
“I’m not a fucking whore.” You spit out, glaring hotly at him, “You said it was for a drink, I had a drink. You can leave now.”
Rafe’s eyes darkened at that as he stared at you. He pursed his lips then in irritation before reaching into his jacket once more. He produced another wad of money.
“Another $1000, that enough?”
You felt your heart quicken at what he was suggesting.
“No.” You responded as a pulsing started in your head. Damnit, you shouldn’t have drank as much as you had. “You couldn’t pay me enough to sleep with the likes of you.”
“The likes of me?” His brows raised in mild shock. “You mean someone with money? Isn’t that what you’re after? Someone to support your lifestyle?”
Well, yes, but you wouldn’t admit that to him of all people. And even if you had, you wouldn’t choose Rafe fucking Cameron to be your provider. It had occurred to you once before that you could always return home & seduce someone from the island, much like your mother had, but you wanted better than that. And Rafe Cameron was not better.
“Keep your money.” You snarled, “Now leave.”
Rafe bit his lip at that, shaking his head knowingly, “You & I both know I didn’t pay you $1000 for a fucking drink. I want one thing from you & you’re going to give it to me.”
His confession had your stomach twisting into knots, but you couldn’t show your fear or discomfort.
“No. A deal’s a deal. If you wanted more you should’ve been clearer.”
Rafe scoffed at that, “I offered you another grand & you spit in my face.”
“Like I said,” you glowered, “I’m not a whore.”
“Please, _____.” Rafe’s tone shifted as if he was explaining a complex concept to a child, “It runs in your blood.”
Boiling over with anger & motivated by the alcohol coursing your veins, you snatched his $1000 off the counter & threw it at him, “Then taking your fucking money.”
His face darkened as the wad of cash hit him square in the chest before dropping to the ground, $100 dollar bills littering your kitchen floor.
“I don’t want my money.” His eyes glared into your own, “I want you on your fucking back.”
Before you could react, Rafe closed the distance between the two of you, catching you by the throat as he dragged you from the kitchen to your bed nestled in a corner at the farthest end of your studio.
You landed on top of your bed with a resounding ‘oomph’ before Rafe shrugged his jacket off & climbed on top of you.
“Fucking stop it!” You raised your voice, your hands reaching blindly out to resist against him.
“Ya know, I was always curious about you in high school.” Rafe began as he wrestled with your raised arms, “Such a spoiled brat that had nothing to offer. I thought there had to be more to you, something that wasn’t predictable but I guess I was wrong. You’re just like your whore mother, thinking you’re just as upper-class as the rest of us, but you’re not. You’re a fucking phony. All you want is a man with money to take care of you.”
You couldn’t help the whimpers that came from you as Rafe fought with you to get your jeans off.
“I don’t need anyone!” You hollered.
“Oh, yes you do.” Rafe retorted harshly, “I’ve been watching you for a month now, having spotted you working that pitiful job of yours when I was there on a date. And I saw in you what your father saw in your mother. A poor little thing desperate for the finer things in life. Laughing & flirting your way into better tips & potentially a man. It was so obvious, so pathetic.”
He had been watching you. The admittance scared you more than you liked to admit.
“So, I figured ‘why not me’? At least for a while. Get my kicks in while you thought naively to yourself that I would supplement your tastes for however long. All I wanted was a taste, a way to knock you down a bit, but no, you even had the balls to reject me.”
A shudder parted your lips as you felt your jeans get ripped completely off you before Rafe began reaching for his own, his hand pressing against the center of your chest, holding you securely against your plush mattress.
“Me?” Rafe laughed maniacally, “I’m not even good enough for you?”
Reluctant tears forced their way out as your heart raced. This was really happening.
“You’re such a fucking….” Rafe paused to glare down at you with evident contempt, “bitch!”
A shrill scream tore from your throat but Rafe covered your mouth with his hand as he nestled himself between your legs. He didn’t even bother removing your underwear, just tugged them to the side, the elastic of them digging into the sensitive skin there as he forced his cock against your entrance.
You beat your fists against his back but it had no effect. And before you knew it, a white hot pain flashed before your eyes as Rafe tore into you, your hymen ripping in the process.
Rafe released a tense groan as he stilled above you, realization coming over him as he felt your untouched cunt fill with blood around him.
“Wow.” He breathed in mild surprise, “I’m honored.”
You kept crying, whimpering under his hand as he began to thrust, his movements harsh & painful against your pulsing center. Your walls were dry & burned with every stretch as he made himself a home within you.
He leaned down then, his lips hot against your skin as he kissed, licked, & nipped along your shoulder. Your vision blurred from the tears as you could only lie there & take it as he fucked you against your will.
You never had any idealized fantasies about when you would first have sex, not one of those foolish young girls who dreamt about saving themselves for ‘the right one’, but you did want to at least save your first time to be with someone who would be your end all. The idea of giving it to just anyone never sat well with you, even if it was what your mother had done for years before landing your father. And you loathed being anything like her, even if you knew deep down that you were exactly like her.
Rafe’s groans filled the studio space of your apartment & you desperately sought out anything else to distract yourself from the reality of your situation. Your eyes blinked through tears as you finally eyed the window above your bed. It was still raining outside but it had lightened at that point. Droplets dribbled down the pane of the glass. Your eyes would latch onto one, watching as it disappeared near the bottom before finding another, repeating the habit.
It felt like you were watching rain beat lightly against your window for hours before Rafe finally came. He fisted his hands in your hair, earning you a silent gasp as your body pulsed from his rough ministrations. He shuddered on top of you before collapsing against you.
You shook beneath him, licking at your dry parted lips, willing yourself to fall into a deep sleep & forget any of it had ever happened. But just as you felt your consciousness begin to sleep from exhaustion, Rafe chuckled against your neck.
“That was…something.” He pushed him upwards, your legs immediately pressing against one another the second he stood from the bed.
He gathered his jacket from the floor & put it back on, eyeing you in the dimly lit interior of your apartment as you stared unfeelingly at your ceiling.
A soft thud sounded by your head & you blinked, eyeing whatever was just thrown beside you. The second wad of $1000.
“Worth every penny.” Rafe commented, but followed it with salt for your literal open wound, “Though I’ve had better.”
You winced.
Sighing to himself, he stared out your window for some time before finally looking back at your used & abused form lying still on your bed.
“I already know you won’t run crying to mommy & daddy, let alone the cops, but just know that if you do, I’ve got more money where that came from. Much more. And you don’t want to be the sad little thing that cried ‘rape’ just to have it brushed under the carpet, do you?”
Rafe caught your jaw, forcing you to look at him. He feigned concern, “That would just be embarrassing.”
With what little energy you had left, you yanked your head from his grip, turning your back on him as you curled into a fetal position.
“Hmm.” Rafe exhaled heavily, his eyes burning into the center of your back, “Well, thanks for your time, _____. We should do it again soon.”
The possibility made you nauseous.
“After all, I know where you work. And live.” There was a devilish lilt to his tone, “So, don’t go far. I may get hungry for seconds.”
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