#It took me 5 SECONDS to actually get it
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bmpmp3 · 7 months ago
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finding out ur coworker is way older than you thought and having to very quickly reorient how you talk to them
#art#traditional art#watercolour#fanart#synthv#synthesizer v#genbu#kasane teto#rikka is also here :) i think she likes to cause problems sometimes. because all the adults in her life are dweebs#and very easy to cause problems with <3#anyone else have this happen before. im older than a lot of my university peers and i always have been#because i took 5 years in highschool and my undergrad has been like 6 years and counting#(hashtag learning disability <3 ) and like thats chill to me i dont mind#but now i usually assume everyones way younger than me and i get shocked when theyre not. a buddy in some of my classes#when i first met her i absolutely and completely assumed she was like barely 19 and talked to her as such#like i dont talk down to people or anything but i do soften the way i talk a bit and give a bit extra patience with younger peers#cause yknow. i remember what it was like being 19. being 26 is WAY easier lol so i wanna give em a bit of leeway yknow#anyway a few months after meeting her i found out she was actually a year older than me and a grad student when she ended up as a TA in#another class i took. i felt so bad. we bonded tho and she didnt mind she thought it was kinda funny when i was like WAIT UR A GRAD STUDENT#i thought she was like a first or second year undergrad..............#also yeah im a 31yo teto fan. i dont mind the popular fanon that she has a separate age that makes her actually 15 and#i dont mind that more interpretations have her like that BUT for my internal canon she is a grown ass woman because i think its fun <3#she pays taxes. she goes to work parties. she can rent a car. i love it#let teto rent a car. let her rent a car.#yknow im exicted to be 31. i still got a few more years of being a 20 something which is fun. but being a 30 something sounds like it rules
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angelnumber27 · 7 months ago
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It’s so embarrassing and heartbreaking being in so much pain over losing someone while knowing they don’t give a fuck if you live or die. Your favorite person becoming a stranger is a special kind of hell.
#I fucking hate having bpd#while I’m at it I don’t understand the fuckin audacity some people have to say they love you and do horrible things to you#I feel so stupid#I feel so stupid for believing all the lies#but I was so in love and put him on such a pedestal that I just allowed it all.#thinking about someone constantly and grieving over them and knowing they’re perfectly fine and to them you don’t exist#I’m still in such a state of grief and I don’t understand why time hasn’t healed#it honestly feels like it’s gotten worse w time#I just torture myself but I can’t help it my brain wants me dead#it’s so painful I feel so fucking stupid#being abandoned with no closure by someone who’s your entire world#for someone they were unfaithful to you with multiple times (I don’t even know how many and dony want to know) immediately#like that was the plan all along#he took our cat hundreds of miles away and I don’t even know if he still has her or if she’s still alive and I miss her every day#I never loved someone like that and it feels like the heartbreak is actually physically killing me#i spent 1/5 of my entire life with him#I was my prettiest and had the best body at the time and I wasted it on someone who didn’t appreciate me#not wasted. it wasn’t wasted. we had some incredible times together#I’ll never be that beautiful again#and now idk what do so bc i can’t decide which is worse: being alone and isolating or loving deeply and ending up horribly hurt all over#it’s all just so upsetting.#and I feel so stupid for allowing it all#he knows more about me than anyone and he made me feel like he loved me so much sometimes and then did horrid things and it’s so fucked up#nobody read this I’m so embarrassed and horribly broken#it traumatized me so much there was so much abuse and pain idk if I’ll ever recover#I deserved it but it still hurts my heart#I was so mentally ill and sick I know it had to have been miserable to be around me#there are so many things only he understands and knows about me and I need to talk about them I j wanna b able to b there 4 each other#but that girl is so beyond insecure and controlling so. if I want to talk to who fuckin gets me I’m just fucked#why lead someone on like that for years knowing you’re going to abandon them the second it’s convenient
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theflyingfeeling · 8 months ago
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I think today I will cry about BC not making tour vlogs anymore 😔
#yes i'm still bitter about the live performance video they posted yesterday#it seemed more like something made for promotion and marketing rather than for fans to relive the moment#or for fans who couldn’t attend to experience it as if they were there#the frame wouldn’t span on one moment for longer than 1.5 seconds which made it kinda messy#and you didn't really get a good picture of what the show was actually like#they didn't show how awkwardly long it took for the curtain to be gathered and carried away 🤭#instead they showed moshpits THAT DIDN'T EVEN HAPPEN DURING THOSE SONGS 🙄#and the content you see on their band account on tiktok/ig is no different#good for promotion i guess. uninteresting for their existing fans 🥱#i get that editing vlogs is extra work (for joonas) and that some of them may not want there to be a camera on their face all the time#and that *siiiiiiiiiiigh* ''youtube is dead'' 🙄#but i don't think i would have fallen for this band half as bad as i did if it wasn't for the umk/esc vlogs and the content from summer '21#followed by more tour vlogs from their other tours#nowadays it's only fast-paced tiktoks and promotion and joel's SUPER FUNNY filters 🙂#i would give up them all for 5-minutes of vlog-like content from the EU tour 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#whose dick do i need to suck for this huh?#joel is it yours (as the band's social media guy)?? i will do it in the back alley of your local sushi buffet#just tell me when and i'll be there but make sure your cock's already out and hard i haven't got all day
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icewindandboringhorror · 7 months ago
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Apparently I can meet my goal of roughly 400,000 words in 6 months if I just somehow write at least 2,200 words a day ghbjh... Almost 2,500 today... huzzah...
#Definitely not going to be able to stick with it just due to like... being realistic about my energy levels and etc. ESPECIALLY as we#enter the Evil Summer and it becomes hot all the time. But... one can attempt.. at least...#I'm also a very slow writer since I tend to re-read and edit while I write. and only move onto the next section once what I'm writing#seems okay. Which is easy for visual novel type stuff. since ''sections'' of a conversation are more clearly marked (like if you#have a menu option with 5 different dialogue choices. finish the character's response for choice 1 before moving onto 2. etc.)#Especially since when I'm done with a whole quest I always follow it up by playing through it and picking every option and making sure it#actually all works okay and etc. So I am already going to see it all a second time. Then I can go back and reorder a few words or remove#certain sentences that don't sound natural when I read them out loud (I always read it all outloud to myself since it is... just peple#talking.. it should sound like natural dialogue in their voice. etc). But my ''first draft'' is kind of not as first drafty since I pause t#edit a lot as I go along. So it also takes longer probably than it would take other people who I think treat a first draft as more#of a loose guideline or something. AANYWAY...#80F in my bedroom right now again... huzzah... I did end up finishing and recording that sims build video before the heat wave (or is#it really a heat wave if it's just summer..?? lol) came in.. but now... augh.. the editing... plus the costume photos and all else... Much#to do as always.. Often such a long todo list.. a giant scroll hung upon the walls of the evil hermit wizard tower..#Anyhow.. I hope I can finish getting ready for bed early in time to reward myself with a game of tripeaks solitaire whilst I snack on#cheddar cheese and some of those preserved artichokes in a jar. hrgm... I actually have nasturtiums (ultimate best flower) on the#deck again this year but I had to move them all into a corner today because the leaves were getting burnt by the sun lol.. Also am now more#cautiously weaving through social media to ignore all dragon age news. NOT bc of spoilers (I actually love spoilers/literally never play#any game until there's full guides on it I can read to plan my entire playthrough based on knowing exactly what I want to happen lol + mods#and etc.) but just because I'm so busy with my ownprojects I simply do not have the brainspace to dedicate... Yes I love to think#about elves and fictional universe lore. but no.. I pretend I do not see it. Does not exist to me actually. ghgj.. OHH also took som#cool pictures of flowers in the garden section of a store and I wanted to do like.. character designs based on the colors of the flowers o#something. but that might just be another unnecessary project to add to the pile.. I want to commit to the daunting task of dyeing my#hair again some time.. hrm.. this is all of the updates I can think of. As if a bunch of random tags make up for never posting anything for#weeks on end lol.. alas.. too warm to think properly I suppose.. .. I neeeeeed a long lost relative to leave me some million dollar#estate in their will so I can have the resources to move to a colder climate or something ..augh#.. but for now.. I shall toil away in my little wizard tower trying to write 2000 something words a day whilst sweating and such ghbj
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pureconancommentary · 5 months ago
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Let him call, because again, Agasa was the one who set up this secret, he should be the one defending it. Again, the parent shows up out of the blue here, but I kinda wish they didn't. Because Shinichi's the protagonist, he has to deal with everything in the end, but I want Agasa to be confronted. Have him make up more lies. Bring in the parents slower, have them contact Kogoro to arrange for Conan to stay long term and work out payment. Ran asks about the parents and Kogoro is like 'oh it's fine, they're covering his stay', and Conan's going '...? ???????'. Agasa denies having anything to do with it on Yuusaku's orders. Conan frets about it for a while and they actually see how he'd react to potential unknown danger. And then spring the 'kidnap him' trap to fully show him what could possibly happen.
But I guess just 'kidnap him and potentially give him a heart attack to prove that death is a real possibility' without any setup or warning is fine, too, sure.
#ch 49#vol 5#I actually don't mind the kidnapping as much as many other people#But now I've made a more fleshed out scenario in my head that I'm sad isn't how this goes#But mostly I just want more acknowledgement that Shinichi never set up any of the identity drama#Agasa made up the story; he's the one who put secrecy in Shinichi's mind; and if there's any poking at the story; Agasa should be defending#Instead he just sits at home not having to deal with anything except occasional vents from Shinichi#And I guess fiddle with gadgets that might help#But really he was just 'oh you shrunk; well that sucks but no you're not staying with me; go with Ran'#Like; I know he justifies it with Ran's dad running an actual detective agency and thus can potentially get criminal info#But lbr; both of them knew that Kogoro wasn't going to get anything useful from where he was at the time#And even if he told Shinichi to increase Kogoro's reputation; there wasn't any planning on how to make that happen#Which almost got Shinichi killed /immediately/ after getting shoved onto Ran#Agasa doesn't even know about that near-death experience; and it would 100% be his fault tbh#Many times Shinichi was going to die would be because of Agasa insisting on secrecy and giving Shinichi the responsibility-#Wait; no; hold on; he might have not actually been trying to help Shinichi hunt for the org#He might have just shoved him into a place he was relatively certain would be safe#And told Shinichi he could just make Kogoro famous if he wanted to put the detective in a position to get info#/But he wasn't actually supposed to be able to do it - Shinichi wasn't supposed to succeed at doing that/#He was sent into hiding with a former cop; Agasa probably didn't realize he'd actually be in the fringes of BO activity#Or that Shinichi is just /that/ reckless when it came to crime solving#It was supposed to be a placebo while he and probably the parents tried to think about what to do#But Shinichi not only gets very close brushes with death on a regular basis#He can't even keep up the kid act with Ran and needs help#Agasa took his eyes off the teen child for two seconds and found that he started a bonfire of danger somehow#(Look at that; yes; I /can/ think myself in many circles to make almost anything justified)
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nightgarla · 9 months ago
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figured out how to install mods and got my priorities STRAIGHT
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peridots-pixiwolf · 2 years ago
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hey guess who is actually and without exaggeration crying over ultrakill
#peridots-nonsense#ultrakill#ok so. i'm emotional right now. this has been stated. what also has been stated is the fact that this is my 2nd playthrough on a new device#first time i finished it was in november and while altars of apostasy does make me pretty sad that's about the limit to ultkill emotions.#it's really funny actually because i was so excited for heresy. i took longer to beat act 2 than i did the first time around cause i wanted#to improve on the levels (p-ranks and challenges and secrets. y'know. still haven't done 5-S yet though). so i had more time to anticipate#specifically. Gabe's rematch. i was THRILLED!!! i don't even know why!!!!! but i never stopped smiling the whole time i was fighting him!!!#it got so bad the first time i got to his second phase that i had to actually pause for the better part of a minute from stimming so hard!!#grinning like an idiot for five minutes straight!!! no fight or game has EVER made me feel that way before.#the hk collector is a fun fight for sure and i sometimes get happy going up against characters i like from any games. however#it fades as i get into the fight. it's never been nearly that grand. i was singing a lot too but sleeping family made it more of a whisper#i ended up spending 24 minutes on it with 58 restarts. and yet i was ECSTATIC the whole time. i can see what it felt like to him now lol#so. instantly on the verge of tears when i beat him. and when i got past the ending cutscene i broke. i love this game so so much...#idk. sure this could've been a text to my friends or something but i do not care you all will hear of this#cause this is the best thing ever actually. brb going to go tear up again though
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kaiiscottage · 11 months ago
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ε a bit late but happy birthday Mafuyu :]!! ♡ з
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rosicheeks · 1 year ago
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2, 29, and 53 for the asks :))))
2. what would you name your future kids?
Haven’t thought about this in AGES tbh not sure anymore
29. favourite film(s)
Anastasia , Encanto , Treasure Planet
53. 5 things that make me happy
1. Music 🎶
2. Spending time with loved ones ❤️
3. Apple scented candles
4. Homemade cookies
5. Fuzzy blankies
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poisoneitherway · 2 years ago
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5 SECONDS OF SUMMER - THE FEELING OF FALLING UPWARDS: LIVE AT ROYAL ALBERT HALL
(transcription from the deluxe album booklet under the cut)
Like all moments of light, "The Feeling of Falling Upwards" begins in total darkness: an exhale, a single second held to feel like a lifetime, limitless possibility meeting the total anxiety of potential. Then, their screams-your screams-a chorus of thousands of voices fill London's famed Royal Albert Hall, emanating from a crowd dressed in suits and gowns, louder and more resonant than even the venue's iconic golden pipe organ. Tonight, that instrument is covered by the stage-no distractions-this performance is all about the band, their songs, and you.
Synths boom. A 12-piece string ensemble's orchestral maneuvers tease a future crescendo. Pianos twinkle. Soon, stage lights will illuminate from the floorboards, pointing upwards to reveal a choir. Can a rock show be bigger than Broadway? Can a rock show feel like floating? Can a rock show change your life? 5 Seconds of Summer take their positions-Calum's bass leads, D to A minor. Luke clutches a microphone: "Caught up in Heaven, but your Heaven ain't the same / And I've never been a saint, have I?" By the time the chorus of "Complete Mess" hits, it's total ascendance in multi-part harmonies, the kind 5SOS fans have come to adore from a band immeasurably in sync with one another. (Four vocalists, but different this time. It's four, plus 12: the House Gospel Choir, known for their work with Kylie Minogue and Primal Scream, stand on a crescent moon platform above 5SOS's heads mirroring a long desert sunrise, to add magnitude.)
These harmonies are a nostalgic sound-you first heard 'em in 5SOS's suburban Sydney living room, covering "Teenage Dirtbag back in 2011. Or maybe it was 2013, just across the street from this hallowed hall, at the Marble Arch, where a tweenage, fringe-and-skate-shoe-wearing 5SOS could be found performing outside for their nascent audience, a community soon to become unwavering in their dedication. These are the kind of fans a band could only dream of inspiring, and this Royal Albert Hall performance is the kind of full-circle moment a band could only dream of achieving. That's the peculiar magic of setting intentions; thank goodness 5SOS, despite every challenge, has stuck around long enough to enjoy it, to get here. Thank goodness you have.
This is the feeling of falling upwards. And it's like nothing they've ever felt before.
"We've done a bunch of different stuff for fans along the way," Luke laughs. "We've gone down the sides of buildings. We've done crazy stuff all over the world-guerilla marketing, hiding things..." It's true: 5 Seconds of Summer have never been strangers to creative promotional activities dedicated to their unimpeachable fans (remember Derp Con?) but the Royal Albert Hall show was something else entirely. 5SOS5, the band's fifth album, recorded in Joshua Tree, CA-the desert majesty three hours east of Hollywood, an enclave of hippie mysticism, knotty cactus, and trees with spiky arms reaching towards a sunset-y sky-provided. 5SOS with a new sense of autonomy, and creative self-assurance. "It gave us the confidence to know that the four of us are capable of creating something really great-just the four of us," as Michael describes it. And so any event around the release would need to eclipse it: to be bigger than just an interview or fan convention.
It would need to highlight their newfound freedom, their willingness towards collaboration, their celebration of musical diversity. And so the band's manager, Benjamin Evans, had an idea. What if 5 Seconds of Summer created a unique show, a production like never before? One that they could live stream around the world on the eve of the album's launch, so fans all around the world could join in the occasion? Wouldn't that be a great way to showcase the band's greatest asset-their live show-in a way that went beyond the same radio and TV spots? What if the band performed with an orchestra and a choir for the first time, ever, reimagining songs from their extensive discography alongside new album tracks, recording the event to later release as a live album?
Surely it would have to be at a truly iconic venue, a bucket list experience for any musician. The prestigious Royal Albert Hall was the obvious choice, for its legacy and most importantly, its place in the history of the band. "We used to busk outside of it [a decade ago]," as Calum is quick to point out.
What if they ran a series of flyaway competitions with media partners to bring fans from outside the UK to London for the one-night-only special? Wouldn't that make it more than a record release, but an unrepeatable moment in the band's history, forevermore?
And what if, instead of turning it into "5SOS5 Live," they created something timeless-a career-spanning set to anchor the entire existence of this band into something mythological, a release superfans and casual listeners alike could hold on to, and return to across their lives? The Killers, Emerson Lake and Palmer, Dusty Springfield, The Who, Arctic Monkeys, hell, Bring Me the Horizon have all released records Live at Royal Albert Hall-if they could just pull it off, 5 Seconds of Summer would join some impressive company. But ideation is one thing: conception, another.
Working with Ben Dupont of Moment Factory, who directed all the visuals, stage set, lighting, and production for the show in just under one month, "The Feeling of Falling Upwards" took an army. 5SOS was just coming off of a few years spent inside finding new ways to thank the fans that have always supported them, like "The 5SOS Show: A 10 Year Celebration," a self-referential, playful commemoration of their decade together as a band, that they created a year earlier and made available for free-and their massive. "Take My Hand" arena and amphitheater tour, with its elevated production from past tours. With "The Feeling of Falling Upwards," they wanted something "classier," for Royal Albert Hall as Calum describes it. "Stripped back, but also multiplied, in terms of its organic element."
"They wanted symphonic, acoustic, timeless," says Ben. "When Nirvana performed at the Hall, they put a ton of flowers on the stage, and it stayed as this iconic look. Less is more. "Do one thing, but do it in a bold way." He endeavored to do the same: hiding the organ behind a stage to elevate the choir, hiring a theater lighting designer to enhance the drama-more edgy Broadway than rock show-complete with Svoboda lighting, an old school Tungsten fixture used to create light curtains atop each member. On stage, he instructed his team to build sand dunes-Styrofoam with real sand coating, meant to look wind-swept, leanin organi the band's risers, an "elegantly disruptive" set, as he puts it. The dunes were 5SOS's version of Nirvana's flowers, bringing a bit of Joshua Tree to rainy England.
The lighting's color story enhanced the experience: "Outer Space/ Carry On," a cut from the band's second record (2015's Sounds Good Feels Good) that they hadn't played live in half a decade, was illuminated a rich blue; closer "Bad Omens" was a sunrise gradient of pink and orange. Most surprising was "Youngblood," the song that gave 5SOS its second life in an industry that, 9 times out of 10, will choose to eat up and spit out its young talent was lit "underside of a leaf green," as Ben describes it, despite the fact that most performers stay away from green. It's too witchy. Too Halloween-y. Green, it turned out, was a favorite of at least Ashton, who, despite being asked by Ben to play silver instruments to take the light off the stage, broke out a green drum. "It's a sore thumb!" Ben remembers thinking. "I was disappointed." Then Ash confronted him about it. "He showed me a photo of a tiny baby plant, two little leaves, growing in the middle of a dune in the desert. For him, that's what his drum kit was doing on stage. I thought he only chose it because it sounded great, with no consideration for the visual aesthetics. But his vision was so much deeper."
Their band itself grew from four members to 31: the 12-piece string orchestra, the 12-member House Gospel Choir, legendary keys-man Roger Manning, "If you've heard an alternative rock record in the last 30 years, Roger is probably playing keys on it... Whether it's Blink, or Morrisey, or Air, or Beck." says lan Longwell, one of 5SOS's music directors who also played orchestral percussion for the band when their previous pick dropped out last minute. Ian was joined by his partner, the band's other MD, Drew Chaffee, who played guitar, synth, and samples. Together, Ian and Drew created a set list-career-spanning but not too backwards-facing, meant to highlight and celebrate the launch of 5SOS5 but most crucially meant to stand on its own. This performance needed to endure, to stand out like the brightest sunset in a career full of them.
They worked with a man called Brandon Collins on the orchestral arrangements, to completely transform some of 5SOS's most identifiable songs. "Teeth," with its "pissed off strings" became "a little more Ennio Morricone, more score-sounding," says lan, the perfect moment to use the orchestra in a heavier way, "to at the end, flip it, and take it to the death star," as he describes it. "She Looks So Perfect" was stripped to its barest materials, a reimagining that came from the most surprising source: Ed Sheeran. "The year the song came out, he covered it, and it's beautiful," says Ian. "It's pretty much the same melody but it skips a chord-it's just him and an acoustic guitar." 5 Seconds of Summer did something similar, adding voices, strings, dimension. "It's the opposite of what the actual song is," Calum says of the new arrangement. "Songwriting is the top priority for this band, and [an acoustic performance] allows it to shine for what it is: a beautiful song."
"That and 'Older' were the most fragile moments of the set," lan jumps in. For Luke, that's especially the case: it is the first time he's gotten to perform it with his fiancé, Sierra Deaton, a romantic duet emphasized by their forever partnership. "That was really special," Luke says of the moment, still at a loss at its majesty. "It was cool, to have the stars align, to be able to do that."
On rare occasion did the songs stay more or less the same than their tour counterparts: "Red Desert," lit red, abridged, and used primarily as a drum break for Ashton, made it onto the set list because "we needed to hit that chorus at least once with the choir," says lan. "Lie to Me" was an uphill battle. "The joke at rehearsal was that it was cut but we were insisting on practicing it anyway. But when we heard it with the choir, it sounded like Simon and Garfunkel."
At the tail end of September, just before the curtains were raised on "The Feeling of Falling Upwards," there was a three day, big production rehearsal in Redditch, near Birmingham, two hours out of London-the only space the team could hire to fit their entire production. Day one was Ian, Drew, Ashton, Michael, and the 12-piece choir huddled in a 500 square foot office room of the production venue while the stage was being built downstairs. They sang through the entire performance and did a lot of simplifying. After all, no collaboration is ever exactly how you imagine it, until you do it; that's the beauty of communal artmaking. The second day was strings/orchestra only. Day three was a full production dress rehearsal with choir and strings together for the first time-they ran through the production in its entirety-immediately moved by what they had created. "This is the first time we've played with other musicians on stage. That's a scary thing," says Calum. "You need to let them have free will as artists as well, which gave it so much life. That's the reason it's so different from anything we've ever done." Luke jumps in. "We wanted to make a core memory for the band- a benchmark-something we could always be proud of. This isn't a flash-in-the-pan thing."
"You only get one shot," Michael agrees. "That was the most nerve-wracking part... It was an incredible learning experience and helped mend some of my trust issues." He pauses. "Every time I played, every time I strummed a guitar chord at Royal Albert Hall, I was like, 'This is the only opportunity I get to play this chord. You know what I mean? But with that came this beautiful moment of seeing the songs for what they were." Therein lies the metamorphosis: there was no existential clarity, only connection: with the other musicians on stage, with the well-dressed audience, with the viewers at home, with you.
"I do remember at the very, very end, just taking a look around for a second, at this stage we built, the incredible people who pull it together, everyone in the band," Michael continues. "I had this moment of 'Once I leave this stage, that's it. That's the last time I'll play a show exactly like this. Two years ago, we had gone out in the middle of nowhere and decided, 'What happens, happens...." He trails off, feeling the weight of making 5SOS5, and the Hall performance, all over again. "All of that all that I felt happened in the space of about two-and-a-half-seconds on stage." He jokes that it was the opposite of a near-death experience. "A full life experience!"
"There is no other record that we've made that could be the core of what we've just done," Calum says, starry-eyed. "And that's very telling of the soul of the record." Without 5SOS5, the band would've never gotten to this point, and they certainly would've never learned to live inside of the songs of their past. "As I get older, I learn you can shift your perception on things," he continues, "Stop taking things so seriously for myself. That's been a big learning curve for us." It's the reason he can deliver a classic Calum song like "Amnesia" as sincerely as he did when he was 18, now at 26 years old. "I feel a lot closer to that song, as I did before, when I was younger," he says. "I respect what it's done for this band and what it's done for a lot of people."
5SOS fans go beyond the regular rock music listenership; they participate in each stage of this band. "They've followed 5 Seconds of Summer to London when they were so young and everywhere else the band has gone in the time since. ("I'd never left the country before we moved to London," says Luke, "We figured out, early on, that we needed to leave Australia to come back stronger.") On stage at Royal Albert Hall, 5SOS was able to connect to that idea: their past selves, but also the fans that joined them along this journey. "I felt like a more elevated version of myself on that stage," says Luke. "Songs I put in the back of my mind, that I didn't really think held much emotional weight, got to me." For him, that meant a lot of songs from Sounds Goods Feels Good, specifically. "The second album had a lot of ambition, tons of strings, but we were still wearing skinny jeans and Converse on stage; we hadn't swayed too much from our pop-punk roots," he laughs. "I don't know if subconsciously there was any desire to perform them live at Royal Albert Hall one day, but we did have a big orchestra in London play on the recorded version of 'Outer Space/Carry On. We never thought we'd have the capacity to play them live." Until they did. Listen to your former selves, there's a real prescience there. This was always possible. "I'm trying to fill in the gaps, emotionally, to understand who I am," he adds. "We all are."
Near the end of the set at Royal Albert Hall, Ashton, the band's heart-poet, gives a definition for the crowd to hold close. "The Feeling of Falling Upwards' is simply supposed to describe to you the feeling that we have experienced together, the feeling of taking a leap of faith on such a fickle thing like music," he smiles, "And sharing this experience together year after year, season after season of our lives."
It is far too easy for musicians to grow up to become parodies of themselves. If they find a formula that works, they can repeat it ad nauseum, leaning into superficial, outward readings of who they are and what they do. But 5SOS, on stage and in the current era, are five-dimensional; their pop-punk selves, their .... operatic selves, and everything in between. "We worked really hard to make this happen," Calum says. "You speak positivity and manifest great outcomes for yourself."
Luke agrees. "There's a light at the end of the tunnel," he says "There's a brightness worth fighting for."
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bmpmp3 · 9 months ago
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why does everything i get really into always end up being so god damn niche. by the year 2035 i am going to be blogging exclusively about the interpersonal relationships between the pillbugs and snails hiding underneath the bricks lining the flowerbeds in my parent's garden.
#im falling hard into the virvox guys rn sowwy. i like em a lot hee hee. i didnt realize just how small the fanbase for em was tho#actually i didnt realize how small the company that makes them were either. i got so used to the yamahas and cryptons of the vsynth world#that i forgot that like honestly. a lot of the voicebank makers and some of the software makers themselves#theyre like companies of like maybe 5 employees with like no funding LOL not a bad thing but i forgor#but yeah i was looking up to see if there was like. a fanon reason why people shipped takehiro and ryusei? not judging because i get it#i like took one look at the virvox guys and immediately slotted them as a very strange boyband (a catboy and a middle aged dragon man....)#and also took a second look at takehiro and ryusei and assumed they were childhood friends. i saw the doujin flash before my eyes#but also looking into it it seems the fanbase is also like. 20 people. and like 3 of them ship that#and at least one person ships whiteCUL and ryusei? why not LOL when it comes to vsynths sometimes a ship can be spearheaded by like#one very prolific artist HGDJKDFSHDJK which actually reminds me. honestly i dont really have many vsynth ships#i guess i dont really partake in a lot of shipping stuff deeply but i like romance!! you know i like love stories. you know this#i mean i keep calling the eclipsed sounds characters the celestial polycule for a reason tho. im not joking around about this#this is serious to me. they are stars and moons and suns and together they hang out and kiss. in the sky. this is serious to me#also i do like solaria x eleanor forte actually. its a bit random but i understand it. i understand it#and of course the aformentioned takehiro x ryusei. and also the whole virvox polycule. get that old man in here too#(what do they call people like me. a multishipper? i do that a lot. you know this from my otome game fanart LOL)#OH and i dont remember either of their names rn but i like that the cevio bank anju inami voiced has like a big fat crush on like#that girl with the brown hair. i like that theyre like. besties (turning into something more wink wonk)#thinks with all my brain. i think thats it. i dont know why theres so little. i think its because i think of them as like#audio sample libraries first and foremost and i forget about their characters and relationships LOL#but im not against the idea of making some audio sample libraries kiss...... not at all#picks up a guitar sampler and a sound effect cd. presses them together.#hee hee. they kiss
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nexttothelamp · 2 years ago
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mrsmarlasinger · 2 years ago
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My manager at the call center isn't gonna be here for the rest of the week. Nor is our office manager. I'm gonna throw up. Like I'm literally nauseous with dread
#it's JUST me and my one coworker because they fired coworker libby a few weeks ago#we're so fucked oh my god like#i ask my manager for shit ALL THE TIME oh my goddddd#i don't even have permission to use bonding slots for ortho emergencies omfg i'm gonna actually kill myself#and i took 53 calls on monday?? calls take like 5–10min usually & there's only 480 minutes in a work day?? and now we're down one person??#i was literally physically ill with stress today having to constantly call people back and i only took 43 calls#(7 of which were 10–20min new patient calls which each require like a good 15+ min of follow-up as well. but i digress)#i also got a call that was just fifteen seconds of BLOODY MURDER SCREAMING until i got way too scared and hung tf up. jfc#(which i thought that was one of those scam calls where they just play audio of a woman screaming for her fucking life#but it came from a patient's parent's phone number?? so idk??????)#(sometimes i hear kids screaming in the background cuz it's a pediatric dentistry but this was something different.#no talking just horrific screaming for over ten seconds straight. oh my god)#anyway on the OFF chance we have ANY free time tomorrow taking 80+ calls on our own. we'll have to spend it CALLING BACK MISSED CALLS#AND I'LL NEVER GET MY FUCKING NEW PATIENTS IN. GOD#ONLY 56 HOURS OF THIS JOB LEFT. CHRIST A-FUCKING-LIVE. PARENTS ARE GONNA BE MAD AT ME AND ORTHO COORDINATOR CANDI WILL YELL AT ME#AND I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF. I HATE MY JOB AND I HATE THIS FUCKING DENTISTRY. GODDDDDD#personal#work shit#work blogging#work
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anothermonikan · 5 months ago
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Man high school was fucked up. You ever think about that. Thank fucking god I'm not in high school anymore
#Sorry I need to turn a distraction video on or smth because my mind came back to#The very first experience I had of high school#And like my father had just dropped me off right. Yknow. Big massive new place I hadn't been before#And we went into an assembly hall right and my father called me like 5 minutes after#My phone was on silent and I took it out of my pocket for what. 5 seconds to dismiss the call.#Yknow a call from my parent who probably just wanted to make sure I got in okay#And in that 5 seconds a teacher just came over and took the phone off me#And then later on in the assembly the speaker was like 'We have a strict phone policy.'#'You're not allowed to use them outside of break unless explicitly asked' and the fucking.#Teacher who practically snatched my damn phone of me was like#'I have caught 5 students on their phones already. This is unacceptable behaviour in high school and you should already know'#Like. Holy shit I got it out for 5 damn seconds to dismiss a call from a parent who just wanted to make sure I was okay :sob: I was 12 yknow#Just something so. Fucked up about that. That's not a fucking expectation in the real world#Yeah don't be distracted by your phone while doing work in class but it was nothing like that :sob:#I'm willing to bet that most of the people who got their phone confiscated in that assembly were of similar circumstances to me#Yknow. Worried parents who just dropped their 12 year old off to a big unfamiliar place for the first time calling#You could've taught that lesson in the classroom if someone was actually distracted on their phone. Come on now#What Is with some fucking primary school and high school teachers having absolute power trips over actual children#Awful. I was thinking about it because my younger sibling has just gone back school#And their in their last year of primary school and they where telling me about like all the bullshit they're pulling#And I guess I just. Worry a bit. Because high school is genuinely a little bit fucking traumatic#I tell them all the time that most of the rules they set up in primary school and high school are kinda bullshit anyways#And to follow them simply to not get in trouble. But don't let them dictate how you act forever#Because you go through the whole of high school being told what to do by people who usually view you as a lesser being to them#And then you get to college and everything changes and it's gonna be weird as fuck finally being viewed as an equal#...especially if you're like me and engrained rules way too seriously#Sorry this is breaking the no emotional posting after 10pm rule but I think I can stand by this one#Okay I've made 6 begillion grammar errors I'm on mobile I can't change em#To everyone currently in high school: please fucking survive. It get's better. I prommy you#android.txt
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mayspicer · 5 months ago
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Mmm nothing like a good old full blown panic attack, I haven't had one in years. This time at least I have access to medication to make it stop a lot faster, but I have 6 pills left for the next 2,5 months and the recent trends in my mental state are not looking good.
#majek says shit#very bad year and VERY BAD week#had a new friend over for a few days and they had and encounter with an absolute bed bug infestation a couple days earlier#took all precautions they could and were very serious about the whole thing but were paranoid#something bit my bf on the knee literally the day after she left and we're in overdrive now#I say it's a mosquito because that night there was one in the house that I couldn't cath#but he says thats not how his body reacts to mosquitoes. I'm keeping myself in denial to preserve the little mental health I have left#my body decided that the stress will manifest as itchy hives which is great#we moved everything to my room and I'm going insane#I need my own space to live with someone and we even slept separately for like 2 years because it's better for sleep quality#and now we sleep together which is pretty nice and nicer than I remembered but also I have literally no space mental or physical#I'm unemployed and he works from home#we moved the tv to watch movies in bed and everything is taking so much physical space. my personal space#the house is a mess and my life is a mess and everything seems hopeless#I'm having... anxiety attacks? first once a week now every day. I always thought they were like milder panic attacks#they kinda are. as in they are shorter. and actually about something not the undescribed “watch out!”#but severity is like a panic attack was compressed into a few seconds which feel like I'm standing on the edge of a void pulling me in#it's physical. I have to physically hold on to something or move my body vigorously as if I'm shuffling away#and it lasts literally seconds and I'm fine-ish#my psychiatrist heard about it happening once a week and wrote me a prescription (?) to go to psychiatric hospital#not to stay there but for intensive 5-6h daily three month therapy#and after that visit I started having these attacks daily I think because it got to me that I'm Not Ok#it all started when I started on my new antidepressants and they are helping... but I'm afraid they are breaking something else...#I'm scared that they are#but so much is happening#unemployed for a year. my industry is going to shit. lost my friend who made sure to give me a big package of toxic waste as a farewell gift#so I have no support from anyone who even remotely understands me#unemployment means rejection over and over because I'm trying...#and this week exhausted me socially on top of everything. and the bed bugs threat. it's good I at least have xanax when it gets like today#oh also I'm turning 30 in a month. this is going to be great for job opportunities I can feel it
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cy-cyborg · 7 months ago
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Free Manual Wheelchair Reference Models
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ID: A banner with grey 3D models of 5 kinds of manual wheelchairs in a line in front of the disability pride flag and text that reads "Manual Wheelchair References" /End ID
For disability pride month, I decided to release a pack of 3D manual wheelchair models.
The pack includes 5 wheelchairs:
2 Active urban-style chairs (one of which includes a smart drive)
1 off-road active chair
1 children's wheelchair
and 1 standard "hospital" wheelchair).
All the wheelchairs are based off either wheelchairs I or friends of mine have used
Downloadable here!
or on the Clip Studio Paint Asset Store (ID 2097442) (there's been an issue with the CSP version, but the models in the download folder can be imported into clip studio paint until I can fix it)
More info about the download contents below:
The first download link includes the original .Blend file with all 5 chairs, as well as individual .obj or .fbx files the chairs (All but 1 have an .obj file, as they're only meshes. The chair with the smart drive is rigged, which is why it has an .Fbx file instead so it will retain that information) as well as a "read me" file that explains in more depth what kind of disability/character/lifestyle each chair is made for (These are just what I had in mind when I designed them, they are usable by other characters who don't fit the suggestions for the most part!) I wanted to include the Read Me contents in the CSP Asset Store listing, but CS said it was too long lol.
Also, as the title says, these files are free to use! While it's not mandatory, I would appreciate credit if you use them (or even just a tag so I can see the cool art you make with them!!)
I actually made these ages ago, the original plan was to use them in a series of posts then release the pack, but I never got around to making the series and so they've just been sitting here. I took a day off from art fight attacks to clean them all up and get them ready to post. If you experience any issues, let me know and I'll try to fix it up.
I had a couple more that were supposed to be in the pack including a sports (basketball/Tennis) wheelchair and some different styles of wheelchair, but I think the files corrupted so once I fix (or remake) them, I'll probably make a second pack.
If you have any issues, please let me know!
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