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thespacehairandthespaceidiot · 6 years ago

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Nat. You I hate you. But I love you. Ok, strap in. this will get a little long. Everything has wasn’t asked already.

1. Babyfic

Matt and Alex have a one night stand. Go their separate ways. She very surprisingly ends up pregnant. After a few more weeks, they meet for lunch. She tells him. He doesnt believe her at first but then is stoked. She’s worried about a lot of obvious things but cautiously excited. He wants to be around for the baby but also her, she’s not so sure. He promises to convince her to let them be a proper family. It kinda goes from there. It’s mostly in note form right now, but a good bit of it is pretty well mapped out. And the concept has been done a million times before but I’ve wanted to put my own spin on it for a long time. Maybe some day I’ll get around to it. We’ll see.

2. Big Finish

Someone on here sent me a prompt after I asked for them (I don’t remember who rn, but I still have the email with the notification saved somewhere) to write Matt and Alex being reunited to record a Big Finish series together. They haven’t seen each other for a long while and all the pent up emotions and sexual tension come to a head in their off hours. They spend some time together and old feelings come spilling out and things get hot. Probably leading to extra flirty banter in the recording booth and hoping other people cant tell they’ve brought fiction into the world of reality.

5. Luggage

Matt and Alex, traveling with the rest of the cast and crew to film in Utah, get off the plane, both exhausted beyond measure, and end up taking the other person’s luggage back to the hotel with them by mistake. Once Matt gets there, he goes rifling through what he thinks is his bag for a pair of joggers to change into and instead pulls out a number of things rather more frilly and battery operated than he was expecting to find. His mind, understandably, goes a bit haywire and suddenly, sleep is the last thing n his mind.

(A bunch more under the cut)

6. MattexJournal

Matt has keep keeping a journal with stories he’s written about he and Alex, mostly of the filthy variety. After a night of running lines and an enjoyable dinner at Alex’s flat with the Team Tardis foursome the night before, Matt wakes up and can’t find the journal anywhere, soon realizing with dawning horror that it must have dropped out of his bag and been left in Alex’s flat. He contemplates with dread having to go back to ask for his notebook back, but little does he know that Alex has already found and accidentally read enough to know exactly what is between the pages.

7. MattexSims

This one is very cracky. Alex gets called back to set on a day the cast was supposed to have off. Matt volunteers to sit with Salome while she’s gone. But Sal is a kid who doesn’t need much supervising, content to sit on her computer and play the sims for the afternoon. Matt, never one for video games, asks her to show him what the game is about. When he realizes how easily you can play out your own stories with whatever people or characters you want, he gets the idea to make characters of him and his coworkers as a bit of a laugh. But soon he finds himself strting to play out a very not-true-to-life game with his and Alex’s characters that makes him start thinking about how to bring them to life. He just hopes Alex never finds out what he’s been doing with his very limited spare time.

8. Moving

Matt has just moved into a new neighborhood. On his first night in his new house, he heads to his room to get ready for bed and can’t help but notice that he has a very clear view from his window into the bedroom of the woman next door and that she has the shocking habit of walking around her bedroom in the nude, despite there being no curtains on the window. There hadn’t been a car in front of her house all day, so she might not know the long-empty house next door has anyone living in it just yet. But when she shows up at his door a couple of days later to welcome him to the neighborhood, he doesn’t know whether or how to mention the nightly show she’s been giving him without making her never want to face him again.

9. Olympics

Ok this is also slightly cracky. I read an article during the last summer Olympics about how sex-crazed Olympic Village always is and how they organizers give out like 100,000 condoms to the competitors during the span of the event. So when Alex, the older equestrian likely competing in her last Olympics, gets dragged out to the party scene after a busy events and meets Matt Smith, the awkward but enticing 18 year old up and coming football star, she finds him a little hard to resist. A one night stand in Olympic Village with a much younger competitor is one thing, but in the light of day, when he wants to continue seeing her, how can she allow herself to indulge him when both of them have have the competitions of their lives ahead of them? And what happens if, when the end of the Olympics come, neither one of them feel capable of stopping?

10. Online Dating

I think I’ve explained this on here before but I have no idea where. Alex is convinced by her sister after a girl’s night in to set up a dating profile for herself on a site that keeps i’s users completely anonymous. No names, no pictures, no identifying information. Just good, old fashioned person-to-person talking and personality quizzes to determine compatibility. She indulges her sister but has no plan to actually speak to anyone on the site, especially as she’s heading back to Cardiff shortly to film a few more epidodes for Who. Until one message comes through from a very highly-compatible match who stands out from the boring or creepy messages she’s gotten so far. Meanwhile, back in Cardiff, Matt hears about the same site, and tired of random hook ups with women whose last names he doesn’t know or care about and relationships that head nowhere, decides to join up. He’s quickly disillusioned by it, until he comes across one woman who makes him think this idea wasn’t a complete waste of time. As the two start messaging each other back and forth, getting to know each other, they slowly starting to fall for the mysterious strangers on the other side of the computer screen. It’s too bad both are also contending with the enticing costar they see a work every day in addition to their new secret penpals. How do you reconcile feelings for two different people when one is unattainable and the other is someone who may never live up to the expectation you’ve built up in your head?

11. OverlookCaught

Matt and Alex have been together for a couple of years now, but they’re still very much a secret from the general public. They’re at a convention together and when they find themselves alone for a few moments, Matt can’t help but get a little closer than they’re allowed in public. She’s knows it’s a bad idea- who knows when someone might walk in?-but she cant resist giving into his affections for just a minute. When they head off to the last event of the convention, they think they got away with their little moment together but when video leaks online of her and Matt kissing just minutes before, all hell breaks loose. Suddenly the romantic weekend alone they planned after the con becomes about PR management and hard reconsiderations about the so-far rock solid relationship they’ve built together. This is what I’m actively working on right now. It was meant to be something short to get me back in the swing of writing but it’s a little longer than I planned. Still under control through and should be done soon.

12. Pornstar AU

Matt and Alex are both relatively new actors working in the porn industry, disillusioned after their proper acting careers both failed to take off. When they get the assignment to make a film together, it’s just another job. But after filming their first sex scene together on day one, Matt recognizes Alex as his old drama teacher back home that he used to fantasize about. When he reminds her that they used to know each other, they leave set and grab dinner to catch up. Before they know it, they’re bringing the steamy sex scenes from work back home with them and falling hard for their screen partner. This was something @beware-my-sting and i were working on together. It’s fallen by the wayside for now, but who knows if one or both of us will get our shit together to continue it? Hopefully lol.

13. Proposal

It’s their anniversary and Matt plans on popping on the question. He wants everything to go exactly right to give himself the best chance of getting Alex to say yes, but he’s worrying himself frantic and not much seems to be going right.

14. Proposal/Meet the Family

It’s Christmas and Matt has been planning to propose. They’re in a pretty great place and he thinks he’s broken through Alex’s defenses enough that he’s not super worried about getting a no. But a last minute change of plans has them spending the holiday with his family. Who don’t yet know about Alex. So while he’s introducing his much older, long-term secret girlfriend to his rather surprised family, he’s also getting ready to make the biggest commitment of his life. He just hopes the weekend goes well enough to not ruin his plans of a happy life with Alex or his hopes of a close relationship between her and his family. The awkwardness and stress may be getting to him just a bit. I love fics that incorporate either of their families and the probably likely reality that the relationship would take a little getting used to by their relatives, but also don’t like ones when things are actually hostile between them. This will be written with them being confused and very concerned and awkward about everything but no one will be being mean to Alex. Cuz i hate that.

16. StolenTardisFicathon

This is a River/Doctor fic for a ficathon I signed up for forever ago.I don’t even know which one anymore because I suck. But young, babyfaced Eleven has dropped off Amy and Rory for a romantic weekend together and is off exploring a strange planet on his own. He soon runs into the mysterious River Song who is in possession of his tardis, having obviously swiped it from him at some future point in time. As usual, he’s completely captivated by her but there’s a niggling thought in the back of his head, spurred on by talk of good men and murder and prison sentences, which whispers that maybe she’s just come from murdering him in cold blood before stealing his ship. That thought really should send him running for the hills, but he his feet refuse to move unless its in step with hers.

17. Tattoo

Matt is dreading going back to set after a break a week’s break from filming. On the last night before he returned from Cardiff, he got very drunk and woke up in the morning sporting a tattoo on his arm. This would be bad enough, but the tattoo in question bears the name of his very captivating co-star. This this episode also heralding the return of River Song, Alex would be on set. It wasn’t like he planned to be taking his shirt off on set or anything, but if she were to somehow find out what he’d done, surely she’d never want to speak to him again. Or at least look at him with pity in her eyes at the obvious signal of his very unrequited feelings for her. He gets through the work day decently enough, but when Alex suggests running lines together and catching up that night, he worries he won’t be able to keep his shameful secret much longer.

19. WeddingInvitation

Alex is getting married. The invitations have gone out and everyone has RSVP’d. Except for one very conspicuous person. She and Matt haven’t spoken in quite a while, their once close friendship fading into one of quick and impersonal birthday messages and not much else, but she did want him there to celebrate her wedding with. When she calls him to confirm whether or not he’ll be joining the rest of their friends from the show at her wedding, he’s cagey and non-committal until he breaks and responded with a no and a suspicious apology. It doesn’t take much thought afterward to figure out the real reason why he won’t be attending. After their time on the show together led to nothing happening between them despite the years of flirting and tension, she’d well and truly put the feelings she’d felt for him behind her and she’d honestly thought he’d also gotten past whatever feelings he’d harbored for her. Apparently not. Disappointed, she marked his as a no on the guest list and gets on with planning her big day. She’s surprised, however, when Matt shows up in town the week before the wedding with a confession and asks her to call it off. Maybe those feelings of hers hadn’t been as completely buried as she’d thought, but she can’t throw away a love and a life she’d been excited about only moments before for Matt, can she?

#cassie's writing #Anonymous #ask #melodypond-thewomanwhomariedme

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tpf1138 · 8 years ago

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There’s understandably a lot of pressure when your first feature film hits it big at the Sundance film festival and with critics. Sometimes, the sophomore effort can make or break a filmmaker. Will you make a Boogie Nights and move on to a bright future? Or will you make a Southland Tales and have much of the good will of your previous film get sapped away at an instant? (And I liked Southland Tales). In the case of Darren Aronofsky, whose Pi was a bold debut feature, it wasn’t surprising when his second feature film turned out to be darker, grittier, and more intense than the last. So intense, in fact, that it makes the already hyper-kinetic Pi look like a tame student film by comparison.

With today’s installment of The Darren Aronofsky Retrospective, we’re going to take a look at one of the most infamously uncomfortable, hard-to-watch films ever made, Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream. Unlike the last retrospective installment, there will be major spoilers concerning the specifics of the characters’ fates. So only read if you’ve already seen the film or just don’t have the stomach to watch it. With that being said, let’s dive right into the notoriously bleak Requiem for a Dream.

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“It’s a reason to get up in the morning. It’s a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It’s a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right […] I like the way I feel. I like thinking about the red dress and the television and you and your father. Now when I get the sun, I smile.“

Requiem for a Dream is a film so relentlessly grim that its reputation is largely built upon its hopelessness. Sitting atop numerous lists the most “depressing” or “hard-to-watch” movies of all time, the film follows four individuals as they are each plunged to the nadir of their own physical hellscapes thanks to drug addiction.

This is one of those rare films that is able to induce physical pain and discomfort on the viewer. Seeing each of these four people descend further into the absolute worst places imaginable is difficult to endure, and what makes it so is the relentless, almost punishing filmmaking from Darren Aronofsky, who so clearly brings us into the minds of these addicts that we cannot help but sit there absolutely horrified at what’s become of each character. In that sense, Requiem for a Dream is actually more unnerving and horrifying than most actual horror films.

However, because Aronofsky’s direction is just that masterful, many people tend to ignore this basic fact: Requiem for a Dream is essentially a feature-length drug PSA. That’s not a criticism or an endorsement; just an observation This isn’t a film like Oslo, August 31st, which looks at addiction through a totally objective (albeit, still grim) lens, nor is it like Trainspotting, a film that sees both points of view for how drugs both lighten and darken the lives of its characters. Requiem for a Dream, by comparison, is so clearly, vehemently against drugs and the addictions they bring, that it can easily be seen as a glorified after-school special. In some ways, it bears all the familiar elements of an anti-drug video, but to dismiss it as such is to ignore Aronosky’s virtuoso control of the camera and the characters he’s created.

Drug addicts are very often portrayed in a negative light in a majority of films, and Requiem is no different. The trio of friends played by Jared Leto, Jennifer Connelly, and (the oddly cast) Marlon Wayans are impossible to sympathize with at first glance. The first scene shows Leto stealing his mother’s television set so he could sell it for money at a pawn shop. This is apparently a normal occurrence since his mother, played by Ellen Burstyn, has foreseen this and chained the television to the radiator. It’s no use, of course, and Leto ends up dragging the TV to the pawn shop owner (played by the great Mark Margolis, no less).

This scene is followed by more scenes of Leto and his friends goofing around, with Aronofsky knowing full-well that these characters are hate-able at first glance. One scene, in which Leto fantasizes stealing a police officer’s handgun and teasing him with it, especially seems to highlight this notion. So what exactly is it that allows us to deeply sympathize with their downfalls by the time the credits roll? This can be attributed to three different reasons, each of which Aronofsky is directly responsible for.

First, each of the trio has just enough time to develop. Within the first half hour, Aronofsky establishes their wants and desires outside their drug addictions. Second, much like his last film, Pi, Aronofsky completely submerges us into each of their mindsets by using just about every technique he possibly can in his arsenal. Split-screens create a fabricated closeness to characters who are, in actuality, as alone as they can be. Cameras are attached to characters during scenes of intensity, the camera shaking right as they are. Wide angle lenses increase the claustrophobia of Burstyn’s scenes in her apartment, which play out like a more heightened, kinetic version of Roman Polanski’s Repulsion, but with monster-refrigerators instead of arms popping out of the walls.

Most important are the quick-cuts Aronofsky employs when the characters use, be it heroin, cocaine, or pills. Coined by Aronofsky as the “hip-hop montage”, each of the steps of the using process are quickly cut together with a specific sound effect representing each cut (This technique was used so much in action films that it was parodied by Edgar Wright in Hot Fuzz). This technique not only gets us as used to the pattern of drug addiction as the characters are, but also highlights just how quick and fleeting the euphoria of drug addiction is. The moments of bliss under drug addiction are so brief compared to the moments of despair that it becomes this unattainable force, the desire of which ends up consuming the characters whole.

The third and most important thing that Aronofsky utilizes to sympathize with these characters is Ellen Burstyn.

Ellen Burstyn’s performance as Mrs. Goldfarb may very well be the key to Requiem for a Dream‘s success. Playing Leto’s mother–who is addicted not to heroin or cocaine, but to self-help television and, later, diet pills–she provides the heart this film so desperately needs. Whereas the other characters are introduced as addicts from the opening frame, Burstyn shows us the transformation process, depicting just how easy it is for a seemingly normal human being to succumb to addiction. Because she provides a relatable center compared to the rest of the cast, we end up sympathizing not just with her, but with the younger characters as well. We see first hand that these people weren’t always addicts and had dreams and aspirations just like this woman.

Burstyn’s performance here is something to behold. Like Aronofsky himself, she’s standing at the highest point of the cinematic mountain, teetering right on the edge between genius and self-parody, and balancing effortlessly the whole way through. She is genuinely heartbreaking, and the downward spiral she takes is what makes the rest of the film work.

Her performance also represents one of Aronofsky’s biggest strengths: his gift of directing actors to their highest potential. With each of his lead performances, he manages to create a career-best. Natalie Portman won an Oscar for Black Swan, and Mickey Rourke’s career was revived after The Wrestler. Aronofsky even managed to get a subtly wonderful performance out of Marlon Wayans, of all people. I can never quite decide whether Burstyn or Portman is the best performance in an Aronofsky film, but I tend to lean a tiny bit more towards Burstyn since Portman is (intentionally) more stagey and theatrical in Black Swan. Burstyn is a triumph in this film, and I wonder whether the whole thing would’ve worked without her.

What’s more, Aronofsky continues his tradition of submerging the audience almost entirely into the characters’ mindsets with incredible force and veracity. The aforementioned usage of queasy cameras and split-screens, plus the typical hallucinations and Aronofsky’s almost signature fade to white certainly factor into this. But with each bombastic technique, some more subtle ones play into the madness. The quick-cut montages employed whenever characters get their fixes are also used for more mundane rituals, such as whenever Burstyn grabs the remote to turn on her TV or washes the dishes. Going back to Burstyn, her transformation is visually symbolized through her ever-changing hair color, which goes from blonde, to red, and finally to dead gray. Even the way she opens a box of chocolates and rubs her fingers along them looks like an omen of the pill addiction to come.

My personal favorite little detail that’s employed in the film is a dream sequence that’s shown twice, with Leto on a sunny pier running towards an ethereal Jennifer Connelly wearing a red dress. The red dress looks almost exactly like the one Burstyn is trying to fit into with her diet pills, further connecting both the characters and their obsessions into one, unifying whole.

Speaking of obsessions, it’s always interesting to note that while the concept of “obsession” is the main theme of every one of Aronofsky’s pictures, each film deals with a different kind of obsession. Pi dealt with the direct obsession of numbers and patterns. Requiem for a Dream, meanwhile, deals with “visceral” obsession, and there is no hunger that is more powerful than a person going through drug withdrawal.

This main, visceral obsession is undercut with individual obsessions for each of the characters. The red dress for Burstyn that represents approval from others, the promise of a successful life for Leto, the loving comfort of a maternal figure for Wayans, and a life free from the control of rich parents for Connelly. Drugs are depicted in this film as more than just a fix: they end up defining a false escape into those fantasies and desires. It understands how the psychological effects of drugs work on the subconscious, how humans associate the high with the dream, and then finally proceeds to show how it tears the dream down.

The final 20 to 30 minutes of Requiem for a Dream are some of the most stomach-churning ever put to film. Inter-cutting each of the four characters’ individual descents in grand, virtuosic fashion, Aronofsky switches back and forth from one grim scenario to another, each character’s situation worsening as the montage progresses. Providing the connective tissue is Clint Mansell’s marvelously unsettling score, which unifies their pain into a symphony of misery. A demeaning orgy scene is shown alongside Burstyn’s electroshock therapy, Wayans is forced into prison labor as Leto’s infected arm worsens. Each segment is timed almost perfectly to appear at the right moment of maximum effect, with each acquiring their own “movement” of Mansell’s score. As the cutting gets quicker, the score’s movements blur together until all their sufferings have become one.

Aronofsky has always been a master of cutting between different planes of location, time, or reality, and the final moments of Requiem for a Dream may very well be his greatest achievement as a director, bringing together the right editing, camerawork, and music for each segment of the montage, creating an explosion of filmmaking prowess and emotional devastation. It’s so masterfully done, it makes the similarly edited sequences in Cloud Atlas seem facile by comparison.

The film ends with the soul-crushing final montage set to Mansell’s now infamous (and ubiquitous) “Lux Aeterna” theme, as each of the characters roll up into a fetal position and think of the dreams that their addictions have just destroyed. Mercifully, the final scene is one of those dreams, that of Burstyn wearing the red dress on television, and her son being there to comfort her. They embrace as their demise is applauded by a large, live audience–an image that perfectly represents the heightened melodrama of the film, and one that Aronofsky will employ again in two of his future films. In that moment, the dream has been reached, their obsession has paid off, and just like the euphoria of the pills and the heroin, it’s gone in an instant.

Requiem for a Dream may have the moral complexity of those drug PSAs and after-school specials, but it ends up being so much more than just that. Under Aronofsky’s direction, what could’ve been trite and obvious becomes truly affecting on a purely visceral, emotional level. It’s cinema manipulation at its most masterful, style at some of its most original, and despair at its most miserably bleak. It’s as uncompromising a work of art as you can ever view.

However, it also gave Aronofsky something of a problem. The movie made its budget back and then some, but there was a large ratings controversy regarding the graphic sexual and drug content of the film. They were thankfully able to release the film unrated in theaters, with an edited down, R-rated version for DVD. But once the film was out, numerous viewers walked out of the film believing it was a pro-drug movie, unaware of what was in store for the final half. Due to this, there were a few parties that not only found the film offensive, but wanted it banned. It never got around to that, but it was still a thorn on the film’s side.

Thankfully, there was a silver lining. He garnered enough attention from both the controversy and the effectiveness of his two independent feature films to make his Hollywood splash and make a big-budget epic spanning thousands of years. At least… that was how it was supposed to go before things got even more sour for him. Stay tuned for an analysis of Aronofsky’s most misunderstood film, The Fountain.

#retrospective #Darren Aronofsky

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qiping-zhang-blog · 6 years ago

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The Handmaid’s Tale: the reflection of queers’ future or an overstatement from the pessimists

Qiping | October 16th

“so, for example, when P. D. James, in her novel “The Children of Men”, imagines a future in which the human race has suffered a seemingly absolute loss of the capacity to reproduce... he declares ‘ without the hope of posterity, for our race if not for ourselves, without the assurance that we being dead yet live.” ——— Lee Edelman

Close your eyes for seconds and try to picture the following image: the world where human beings gradually lose the ability of reproduction, Could you image how social order would change correspondingly? You may say that is exactly what The Handmaid’s Tale is all about. Interestingly enough, the idea depicted by the fictional story ties well with Edelman’s perception of queerness, which is heavily discussed in his thesis “The Future is Kids Stuff.”

In tandem with the openness of the world to sensitive topics such as gay marriage and transgenders, peace among different social groups gradually dawned as a result of various movements happened in the 20th century. But what’s next? Would the peaceful relationship persist in the future or rifts may drive the two classes away from each other, forming an antagonistic environment? Edelman is apparently pessimistic about it and claims that queerness is essentially an ending instead of a beginning. To unfold his argument about the unpromising position of queerness in the society, Edelman firstly introduces the concept of “Child”, which, in this case, doesn’t refer to any single individual but a combination of presence and future? “Child” is the social consensus and the political correctness, the “one-sidedness” that no one could oppose to. It also represents the idea of “reproductive futurism”, which is unattainable in queerness. Therefore, Edelman argues that queerness is on the other side of the extreme.

Throughout the thesis, Edelman remains pessimistic about the future of queerness. In fact, he claims that queerness has no future and instead means an end. In Lacan’s terminology, queerness is simply “jouissance”, which in this case means enjoyment or even abusement of sexual pleasure. The idea impels Edelman to cite the narrations from the book “The Children of Men”, which fantasizes a world accompanied by low fertility rate. Believe it or not, the images depicted here make me incessantly correlate it with the science fiction I asked you to visualize at the beginning—“The Handmaid’s Tale” written by Margaret Atwood. If you are familiar with either the novel or TV show, you may realize that queerness is an indispensable element in the story, and the conflict between queerness and the society is also vividly reflected from several main characters in the book.

The world of handmaids

The Handmaid’s Tale begins with a world in the near future as described above: the low fertility rate of women in the US propels a group of politicians, who titles themselves as “the son of Jacob”, to revolt and finally overturn the government of the United States of America, and a new nation with a totally different belief is established: The Republic of Gilead.

(photo credit: Tostadora.com)

The world of Gilead is filled with hierarchy and it lets the audience feel the whole society has degenerated into an ancient feudal dynasty. “Freedom”, which used to be pursued by all citizens of the United States, vanishes completely. People are deprived of the right to determine their identities; Instead, they are classified into different “occupations” based on their physical states: wife, handmaid, Martha, aunt, commander... The society is highly systematized and centralized by the plan of the commanders, the ruling class of the country. In Gilead, the word “infertility” is forbidden to use, and the belief is that all of these so-called “infertility” problems are attributed to women or, more precisely, the handmaids.

The altered body

As the most important class in the story, Handmaid consists of women with the ability of labor. Being caught by guardians and forced to be trained by aunts into handmaids afterward, they are distributed to commander’s house for two years with the prospect to have a child by the monthly “ceremony”, the occasion that commanders fertilize (”rape”) handmaids in a divine way by reading the Bible before every fertilization.

And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her. And she gave him Bilhah her handmaid to wife: and Jacob went in unto her. And Bilhah conceived, and bare Jacob a son. ——— Genesis 30:1, Kings James Bible

It seems that there is no significant difference between a handmaid’s body and a machine that runs perpetually. The body is altered through the process of the “ceremony”, and it solely becomes a generator of babies while it expels the host’s consciousness and subjective responses, waiting for commanders sending fuels in.

For handmaids, their previous names are all forbidden to use; instead, they are dubbed as “of” plus the commander’s name. For example, June, the protagonist in the story, is called “Offred” in Gilead since his commander is Fred Waterford. The bodies of handmaids thus become objects and properties, which could be manipulated arbitrarily by the owner. Their fates are destined, and there is no other route to change their lots. It reminds me of what Gatoi said to Gan in “Bloodchild” written by Octavia Butler: “Would you really rather die than bear my young, Gan?” The relationship between Tlic and Terran somehow parallels with that between the handmaid and commander: The handmaids could either choose to be the baby machine or go to work till death in Colony, the concentrated camp assembling all people who disobey the social norm. Even though the relationship seems to be symbiotic since both camps rely on each other, the coercive force results in the collapse of the sense of ego, and handmaids eventually become the fertile “walking dead” with and a baby machine.

Along with abortion, political rebels and “heretics” who are not Christians but worship other religions, Gilead also treats “queers” as “gender traitors”, who would be hanged to death on the wall. To Gilead, people who betray their biological gender is not acceptable out of religious belief. The bodies wouldn’t be cleaned right after the execution until another group of “condemned criminals” arrives.

(The hanged “criminals” on the wall)

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(Farewell of Emily: oppression on lesbians by Gilead)

The society of Gilead thereby imposes numerous restrictions to oppress modern ideas such as freedom, feminism, and LGBTQ. Under the circumstance of low fertility rate and Christian-oriented government, queers stand at the opposite side to the prevailing social values. It is not hard to realize that the most common characteristic of "sins” including abortion and “Gender traitors” is the lack of baby, the creation of the next generation. It is inspiring since science fiction is really the derivative speculation of the future based on the current situation. It should be treated as a prediction of what might happen if the present attitude remains unchanged.

The conflicts of gender are also well reflected by the characters in the story, especially Moira, who used to be a lesbian and were caught to be a handmaid. After failing to escape, Moira chose to stay in Jezebel, a place where certain women are sent to work as prostitutes for commanders in Gilead. There, she has no choice to return to her female body for a living.

“It's a few good years before your pussy wears out.”

———Moira

Moira is not only representing the figure of queer people but also black or African American queer group. Because of her fertility, Moira is trained as a handmaid instead of being sent to Colony. Her identity is thereby contradicted as a handmaid and a queer. As a so-called “gender traitor”, she is sinful to betray her body as a woman. On the other hand, is she actually opposing her real identity as a lesbian when the body is forced to be a female body, having sexual interaction with male bodies? It also poses the question that if gender is what we are born with, which makes me relate to Susan Stryker’s own experience in the delivery room: “It’s a girl.” The nurse’s statement is like a seal, fixing the gender on the newborn while the baby doesn’t have the consciousness or opportunity to determine her real sex. Like the monster created by Frankenstein, queerness is the direct product of the social norm. Queer people don’t require to be determined by the given biological gender. The journal to discover their genuine identity makes them doubt themselves with “monstrous” identities.

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(Conversation between June/Offred and Moira)

Will it ever happen?

The Handmaid’s Tale provides us with deep insight into the future of queerness and a better understanding of Edelman’s argument. The potential challenges faced by the queer people caused by the inability of reproduction are well depicted in the novel. The relationship between queer handmaids and Gilead is “symbiotic”, meaning the two sides rely on each other for existence. But is it possible for it to become “commensalism”, the condition that queerness could exist without interfering or being affected by the social bias and prejudices? The situation in the Handmaid’s Tale is quite an extreme case that fertility rate has dropped to an unimaginable trough, and not practical enough to occur. Our attitude towards queerness may elevate into another level as we gradually embrace it. The future of queerness thus could not simply be determined by its lack of reproduction; Changes in social norm and perspectives of people endows the future with endless possibilities, and the society that contains “gender traitor” is only one of them.

#handmaid's tale #science fiction #queer

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braised-and-confused · 7 years ago

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Another blog posted this and I thought it would be fun to repost, but bold the parts that I experienced myself.

Because narcissism. Enjoy?

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Common experiences of lesbians who don’t know they’re lesbians yet

Out of curiosity, I recently googled “Am I lesbian quiz”. Half the “Are You a Lesbian” quizzes just asked outright, “Are you attracted to women?” as though that isn’t the very answer a questioning lesbian is trying to figure out. The other half marked me as heterosexual for things like owning more nail varnish than dogs. I hope this list will give you more nuanced ideas to think about as you explore your identity.

These experiences are all really common among - but not universal or exclusive to - people who later realize they’re lesbians and find a comfortable home in the lesbian label and community.

It’s mostly stuff that I and other lesbians I know have wished we knew when we were first coming to grips with our lesbian identities, because the fact is it takes a long time to discover how common a lot of these experiences are among lesbians, and not knowing what to look for when trying to figure out if you’re a lesbian can be hard.

‘Attraction’ to men

Deciding which guys to be attracted to – not to date, but to be attracted to – based on how well they match a mental list of attractive qualities

Only developing attraction to a guy after a female friend expresses attraction to him

Getting jealous of a specific female friend’s relationships with guys and assuming you must be attracted to the guys she’s with (even if you never really noticed them before she was interested in them)

Picking a guy at random to be attracted to

Choosing to be attracted to a guy at all, not just choosing to act on it but flipping your attraction on like a switch – that’s a common lesbian thing

Having such high standards that literally no guy meets them – and feeling no spark of attraction to any guy who doesn’t meet them

Only/mostly being into guys who are gnc in some way

Only/mostly being attracted to unattainable, disinterested, or fictional guys or guys you never or rarely interact with

Being deeply uncomfortable and losing all interest in these unattainable guys if they ever indicate they might reciprocate

Reading your anxiety/discomfort/nervousness/combativeness around men as attraction to them

Reading a desire to be attractive to men as attraction to them

Having a lot of your ‘guy’ crushes later turn out to be trans women

Relationships with men

Dreading what feels like an inevitable domestic future with a man

Or looking forward to an idealized version of it that resembles literally no m/f relationship you’ve ever seen in your life, never being able to picture any man you’ve actually met in that image

Being repulsed by the dynamics of most/all real life m/f relationships you’ve seen and/or regularly feeling like “maybe it works for them but I never want my relationship to be like that”

Thinking you’re commitmentphobic because no relationship, no matter how great the guy, feels quite right and you drag your feet when it comes time to escalate it

Going along with escalation because it seems like the ‘appropriate time’ or bc the guy wants it so bad, even if you personally aren’t quite ready to say I love you or have labels or move in together etc.

Or jumping ahead and trying to rush to the ‘comfortably settled’ part of relationships with guys, trying to make a relationship a done deal without investing time into emotional closeness

Feeling like you have to have relationships with guys and/or let them get serious in order to prove something, maybe something nebulous you can’t identify

Only having online relationships with guys; preferring not to look at the guys you’re interacting with online; choosing not to meet up with a guy even if you seem very into him and he reciprocates and meeting up is totally realistic

Getting a boyfriend mostly so other people know you have a boyfriend and not really being interested in him romantically/sexually

Wishing your boyfriend was more like your female friends

Wishing your boyfriend was less interested in romance and/or sex with you and that you could just hang out as pals (lol)

Thinking you’re really in love with a guy but being able to get over him in such record time that you pretend to be more affected than you are so your friends don’t think you’re heartless

After a breakup, missing having a boyfriend more than you miss the specific guy you were with

Worrying that you’re broken inside and unable to really love anyone

Sex with men

Having sex not out of desire for the physical pleasure or emotional closeness but because you like feeling wanted

OR: preferring to ‘be a tease’ to feel wanted but feeling like following through is a chore

Only being comfortable with sex with men if there’s an extreme power imbalance and your desires aren’t centred

Using sex with men as a form of self-harm

Feeling numb or dissociating or crying during/after sex with men (even if you don’t understand that reaction and think you’re fine and crying etc for no reason)

Being bored with sex with men/not understanding what the big deal is that makes other women want it

Doing it anyway out of obligation or a desire to be a good sport/do something nice for him

Never/rarely having sexual fantasies about specific men, preferring to leave them as undetailed as possible or not thinking about men at all while fantasizing

Having to make a concerted effort to fantasize about the guy you’re “attracted” to

Early interest in women

Not recognizing past/current crushes on women until you’ve come to grips with your attraction to women

Being unusually competitive, shy, or eager to impress specific women when you’re not that way with anyone else (OH MY LORD THIS ONE YES)

Wanting to kiss your female best friend on the mouth for literally any reason (”to practice for boys” included)

Getting butterflies or feeling like you can’t get close enough when cuddling with a close female friend

Looking at a close female friend and feeling something in your chest clench up and being overwhelmed with love for her - love you may read as platonic

Having had strong and abiding feelings of admiration for a specific female teacher, actor, etc., growing up that were deep and reverent

Having had an unusually close relationship with a female friend growing up that was different and special in a way you couldn’t articulate

Thinking relationships would be simpler “if only I were attracted to women/my best friend who would be perfect for me if she/I weren’t a girl”

When a female friend is treated badly by a man, having your protective thoughts turn in the direction of “if I was him/a man I’d never do that to her/my girlfriend”

Being utterly fascinated by any lesbians you know/see in media and thinking they’re all ultra cool people

Having your favourite character in every show be that one gay-coded or butch-looking woman (like Shego from Kim Possible or Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica)

Feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable in locker rooms etc., when your female friends are less clothed than they normally would be around men and being more careful not to look than they are

The 'straight’ version of you

Thinking that all straight girls feel at least some attraction to women

Thinking that your interest in seeing attractive women/scantily clad women/boobs is an artificial reaction caused by the objectification of women in media (LMAO yeahhhh…)

Being really into how women look “aesthetically”/“just as artistic interest”

Thinking it’s objective and uncontested that almost all women are way more attractive than most men

Being a really intense LGBT+ “ally” and getting weirdly emotional about homophobia but assuming you’re just a Really Good Ally and v empathetic

Having like half your friend group from school turn out to be LGBT+ (WHY AM I GETTING DRAGGED LIKE THIS)

Getting emotional or having a strong reaction you don’t understand to f/f love stories etc.

Having had people think you were gay when you had no suspicion you were gay

Exploring attraction to women

Feeling like you could live with a woman in a romantic way, even if you can’t imagine doing anything sexual with a woman

Feeling like you could enjoy sexual interaction with a woman, even if you can’t imagine having romantic feelings for a woman

Thinking you couldn’t be a lesbian because you’re not attractive enough, cool enough, or otherwise in the same league as most of the women you know

Interacting with het sex/romance in media by imagining yourself in the man’s position or just never/rarely imagining yourself in the woman’s position

Really focusing on the women in het porn

Being really into the idea of kissing/being sexual with a woman 'to turn guys on’

Being really annoyed when guys actually do express interest in watching or joining in when you do that

Only feeling/expressing attraction to or sexual interest in women when you’re inebriated or otherwise impaired

Gender Feelings

Having a lot of conflicting gender feelings that are only possible to resolve once you understand you are/can be a lesbian

Thinking that being gnc and feeling a disconnect from traditional womanhood mean that you can’t be a woman even if that’s what feels closest to right - many lesbians are gnc and many lesbians feel disconnected from traditional womanhood since it’s so bound up in heteropatriarchy

Knowing you’re attracted to women and not being able to parse that (esp + any gender nonconformance) as gay, taking a long time to figure out if you’re a straight man or a lesbian

Being dysphoric about the parts of you that make straight men think your body is owed to them, having to figure out what that dysphoria means for/to you

Knowing you’re attracted to women, but feeling weirdly guilty and uncomfortable trying to interact with them as a straight man, and only later realizing you’re actually a trans lesbian

Knowing you’re gay, but experiencing a lot of the symptoms of comp het when you try to interact with men romantically/sexually, and only later realizing you’re a trans lesbian and not a gay man

Being nonbinary and taking a long time to sort through being able to respect/understand your nonbinary identity and your lesbianness at the same time

Considering lesbianism

Wanting to be a lesbian but feeling like if you don’t already know you are one you can’t be

Feeling guilty about wanting to be a lesbian, feeling like you’re just attention-seeking or trying to be trendy

Suppressing your lesbian dreams because you think exploring that desire would mean you’re a bad/homophobic person using lesbianness selfishly

Wishing you were a lesbian to escape the discomfort of dating men

Fantasizing about how much fun it would be to be a lesbian and just be with women/a specific woman, but thinking that can’t be for you

Worrying that some of your past attraction to men was actually real so you can’t be a lesbian

Worrying that trauma-induced complications in how you experience sex (e.g., a habit of self-harming via sex w men or a fear of any sex at all) mean you’re not a Real Lesbian

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Every item on this list is common among Real Lesbians. It’s all Normal Lesbian Stuff. If you’re worried that you can’t be a lesbian even though it’s the life you really want for yourself, I hope this gives you permission to explore that. You are allowed to be a lesbian.

And if you’re not sure yet – if you took the time to read this entire thing because you’re curious about your identity, if you identified with a bunch of items on this list – you may or may not be a lesbian, but friend, you almost certainly aren’t cishet. Welcome.

(I’d love to hear other things lesbians wish you’d known were A Thing when you were first exploring your identity!)

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lastgenpodcast · 7 years ago

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What Does a Millenial Princess Look Like?

We have come a long way with our princesses- they are no longer solely pining over their prince charmings and waiting for someone else to make their lives better. They also are the heroines of the movies and are making strides to be more independent than the classic princesses. But, in looking back at how far we have come, I began to wonder, what does a princess look like going forward? What does the millennial princess look like?

I understand that this question addresses a generation that is no longer young and seeking idols to look up to. But, as we all know, it’s the parents that take their children to the movies, thus appealing to the parents is essential. So we first must define what a millennial is in this piece. While we know there is a date range of people born within a certain time frame, I think it’s also important to figure out what makes this generation unique. The people we are discussing here have been inundated with technology as it rapidly advanced from the time when they were young until the time they were ready to enter the workforce. As a result, the simple things of taking a photograph to remember an occasion, which was once a simple point and click and wait until the film develops to hope it turned out ok, has now turned into taking the picture from the right angle, applying the right filter, adding the best caption, and, of course, choosing the perfect hashtag, all so the simple memory can be put up for the world to see.

So where in this world of fast moving technology and having the world look at your personal life would someone like Cinderella fit in, who mainly waited for someone else to show up to help make her dreams come true? Does Belle, even with her own sort of progressive feminism, find her place in this new atmosphere? How does a company built on the backs of these fairytale girls bring a new face to this somewhat cynical generation? Can this generation even fall in love with a naïve young lady anymore? The classic princesses especially, though the more recent films are not innocent of this, are technically not even out of high school by today’s standards, yet they are either ready to settle down, start their own restaurant, or are too busy saving their world.

The next question I’ve thought about is: What does a millennial even fantasize about that would be relatable in a typical “princess” movie? The themes that once permeated the “classic” princesses seem trivial to an audience today. No longer are girls simply dreaming of meeting Mr. Right, getting married, and starting a family. Nowadays, many people are just wishing to have enough money to get a place of their own, while others are hoping to land that perfect job that offers both security and fills their passion meter. The focus of relationships and families has fallen behind the importance of careers and independence. We have seen these themes in Princess and the Frog with Tiana who longed for a restaurant of her own, but she was held back due to a lack of means and societal restrictions. In Tangled, Rapunzel also yearned for independence, though this was stepped on by Mother Gothel, along with a “healthy” dose of guilt sprinkled in whenever the idea of leaving her mother was brought up. We also saw the major break of stereotypes in Frozen with Elsa not needing a love interest at all, true love being between sisters and not a girl and boy, and even Anna’s love interest being turned on its head by both Hans and Kristoff, though the irony that the only “princess” in this film still does have a love interest is not lost on me. So, it seems the princesses are moving in a good direction here and seem to not only hold true to the old-fashioned dreaming, but also show some independence in the female leads.

It does seem that the one thing that has stuck with the princesses has been the love interest. Is this, though, where things tend to get a bit mired in the classic ideology? I don’t think we need a princess who is caught up in a romance. Even so, how would you present this type of princess to an audience who has grown up fighting for equal pay, equal opportunity, and equal advancement for women? Does the idea of a love interest make the character seem weaker and, therefore, not as strong as these millennial women have grown up to become? One can look at the more recent Moana- though not technically a “princess” but the chief’s daughter (a la Pocahontas)- for a female lead with no love interest.

However, the story of Moana has a few hiccups too. Towards the middle/end of the film, Moana and Maui both have a crisis of whether or not they can actually be the “hero” they need to be- Maui needs to be convinced twice by Moana to take the trip with her and that he can get his powers up to snuff; Moana is at first taught to be a wayfinder and then needs to be convinced not to give up on her quest by her grandmother. Due to the repetitiveness of each of these characters’ crises, though, it takes away from the moment when Moana realizes she can do it on her own anyway. The struggle that Moana goes through is overshadowed by Maui’s struggle and she needs to then show him that he can be the demi-god he once was. It’s a mess, and to top it all off, Moana still needs Maui’s help when fighting Te Ka. So really, while Moana doesn’t have a love interest, she still has a male counterpart that sort of steals her spotlight. Moana has some strong qualities- I mean she does save her people and helps them return to their wayfinding roots- but it still feels like there’s something missing. Why should the heroine need to have someone else share her spotlight? The male characters, such as Hercules, Aladdin, and Tarzan, all clearly dominate their films with the females being very distinctly segregated to their “supporting” roles. Meg still needs to be saved by Hercules before the film ends; Jasmine is the love interest and, while she challenges the idea of being “sold” into marriage, she still will get stuck being in the role of wife and mother; and even Jane, despite being the most modern of the women, decides to leave it all for a guy- albeit her father is also there so she can continue “research” with him. Yet, looking at these roles, the idea is that the woman is the supporting role and the male role can shine despite the female role is still pretty consistent. Is this because many of the stories are written by men? Even Moana has 8 writing credits, ONE of which is a woman...just let that sink in.

Going back to my questions- if you were a mother, what values would you want to see reflected in these type of movies that your daughters watch? While I may not have children, I can understand that showing a young girl Snow White versus Princess and the Frog would present two totally different ideas of what “dreams” are meant to be. Furthermore, I still feel that the images held up for young girls is still not completely up to par. While the classic princesses had a totally unattainable beauty, including the tiniest waists, miniature feet, ivory skin, and the biggest of eyes, the current princesses still have some issues to contend with. The idea of beauty is still mired in thinness and flawless complexion, and a majority of the princesses are still white. With the societal trend of every body is beautiful, this is still not reflected in the princesses. None of these characters have body types that are reflective of every woman, and even if a movie does portray a character as heavy set, typically they’re male, and usually there is some element of jokes being thrown about regarding this character’s weight/size. Even considering skin color- Middle Eastern girls only have Jasmine as being their go-to princess; Asian girls only have Mulan; and African American girls have Tiana. While I’m not saying girls of color could not dress up as Elsa, please do because that white blonde hair would look amazing with dark skin tones, it’s still an issue of not having a princess, and all her merchandise, “look like me.” The problem here, for me, is implanting the idea in young girls’ minds that princesses and beauty can only be a certain type of person, and this ideology is what many millennial women have been fighting against since the time when they realized they could never attain the same “beauty” shown to them by these princesses, from Snow White even up through Elsa. So many of us have struggled with eating disorders, body dysmorphia issues, or many other self-esteem issues that we have fought to ensure our daughters, and sons for that matter, don’t grow up with these same issues- though it has been a real challenge due to the way all sorts of media portray the “ideal form.”

This is just the start of the conversation. I pose these questions to you so that we can start to think a bit more critically about what we present to the next generation. I believe that the idea of the “princess” has changed and needs to continue to change. Don’t take away the beautiful dresses or accessories (goodness knows those are definitely the stuff of dreams), but, please, give us stronger characters who have their own stories to tell and that don’t need another person to make their tale complete. Let’s give women a stronger voice in the development of these characters since their perspective is unique. Offer a wider variety of role model than what was offered to us so that our children can see that all types can achieve greatness. That, I think, is a good place to begin.

#Princess #Princesses #Millennials #Movies #Disney #Disney Princess #Frozen #Moana #Princess and the Frog #Snow White #Cinderella #Beauty and the Beast

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valkyrieofardyn · 8 years ago

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Unveiled Ch. 5

The Journey to Altissia Begins

The journey to meet Luna has finally begun. The Reader is distraught over the "dream" but then Gladio reminds her just how pleasant reality is.

AO3 Masterlist

Word count: 7, 368 Gladio x Fem!reader, Ardyn x Fem!reader, minor smut

From your front seat in the Regalia, Longwythe peak slides across your vision. Looking ablaze as the colors from the sunset glow on its rocky surface. But you are indifferent to the spectacular view. Too tired from the long busy day, and occupied with worrying thoughts.

Much to your annoyance, your minds continued main focus being last night's dream. The memory of it becoming worn with frequent handling. Since waking this morning, any moment you were not distracted by the outside world, searing touches and hungry lips were in the forefront of your thoughts. The perplexing nature and clarity of the dream digging claws deep into your psyche. Preventing you from forgetting it, as if you ever could...

When you first awoke you had lain in bed for several minutes reliving the dream over again. The details and feelings of it so fresh that you had gotten up and looked around the room for any evidence that it happened. You had even gone to the bathroom to check if you had any marks on your body, but there was nothing, nothing at all.

Even though your body and heart balked, your intellectual mind concluded that last night's “experiences” were part of a lucid dream; The most lucid dream you have ever had in your life. Even more so than the nightmare that has tortured you for years. During that early morning hour, you could've sworn there was a lingering tingle on your lips when remembering the kisses, and how they descended...Never has any memory of a dream felt so real, lingering long past when it should have faded.

Although you have accepted the handsome man and all that happened between you two as a dream, your emotions don't seem to know that. Whenever you remember aspects of the dream, confusion and arousal war against each other, with frustration about the whole situation in the background. How can your imagination make up an unknown man that somehow felt so right and familiar? Every time you remember him, his face, his voice, his smell...you feel as you had in the dream. He was your other half, your soul mate, a piece of you that only now you recognize as missing. But how can I have this feeling towards a figment of my imagination? Nothing about that dream makes sense, but it feels so true...

Mingled with your confusion was the surprise that your mind would even feel the need to construct an imaginary man. Because for the past four years Gladio, your best friend, has been the main character of your fantasies. You've had a couple of other romantic interests while in Insomnia, but none of them amounted to anything. They had never felt right, and you'd figured it was because you always measured them up to Gladio, and none, of course, ever made the cut.

Long have you fantasized how his large hands would feel roaming your body, while his tongue undid you. When he entered your dreams, you counted those nights as the best nights of the year. Until last night, no other man has come close to replacing the longing you had for Gladio. But now, indeed, you find your body and heart craving a truly unattainable man. A preposterous dilemma you have been struggling with all day.

The man in my dream last night has awoken something—feelings that strike a truer cord than my feelings for Gladio. Which is absurd! Gladio is my best friend and the closest person to my heart. He is the one my heart belongs to. The experiences we have had together through the years have brought us closer. And a lone dream doesn't even compare...or shouldn't...But the fact that Gladio is real is the ultimate trump card.

As you argue with yourself in favor of Gladio for the hundredth time today, the fact remains, you love the man in your dreams. The familiar yet unrecognizable man, you have a love for him seems fathomless. Yes, you love Gladio, but your love for him is now outlined clearly in friendship, where before you thought it romantic. Gladio has my heart, but the dream man somehow has claimed my soul.

The shift in how you perceive Gladio due to one dream, with an unknown imagined man, has peeved you to your wit's end. Throughout the day, you have been working hard to forget the dream, but every attempt ends in failure. The husky rumblings of the man twining around your mind like silken bindings, the amber eyes dark with carnal cravings imprinted on your mind's eye.

Frustrated in more way than one, you shove the man forcefully out of your thoughts and think about the events that have taken place today so far. Even since you and the boys (Noctis, Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio) left Insomnia at six am. Sent off by King Regis himself, The Marshall: Cor Leonis and Captain Drautos.

The road trip had started out smoothly. Ignis had taken the wheel while sipping contently on a can of ebony, the vice that kept him unphased with the early morning departure. Noctis, on the other hand, had fallen asleep almost immediately once settled in the front passenger seat. Prompto followed suit next to you in the back, but woke up after thirty minutes and began taking pictures of the passing landscape. Gladio, sitting on your other side, had pulled out a book, long drives never his favorite past time. You had been more than relieved to sit in the cramped middle back seat, surrounded by your very real friends. The warm touch of your thigh against Gladio's helping keep your mind away from the other warm touch you had awoken to.

All was well with excited chatter with expectations for the road trip, until half a mile out from Hammerhead outpost the Regalia’s engine stuttered to a stop. Much to everyone's displeasure, you guys ended up having to push the car all the way to the car garage in Hammerhead. The day only becoming busier once reaching Hammerhead. With no money to pay for the car repairs, Noctis had agreed to help dispel the area of the troublesome beasts for the garage mechanic Cindy, in exchange for gil. That of course meant that you, Gladio, Prompto, and Ignis helped.

Killing beasts would have been simple, but then you all had been tasked to find a stranded- possibly wounded -man for Cindy as well. Once you found the man (Dave was his name) he had requested you guys to finish his bounty contract and in return would give you the reward for it. Noctis had readily agreed to it since you guys had quickly taken out everything up to that point.

Except the bounty turned out to be a mutant dualhorn and had put up a challenging fight. Everyone in need of a Hi-potion after it was done and ready to call it a day. Working together as a team for the first time draining you all mentally and physically. There were some kinks to work out, but you knew from experience, that only time and practice would help with that. But with only being a couple of days out from Altissia, we probably won't get too much more practice in fighting together, your mind thinks offhandedly.

When you all had returned to Hammerhead from your long day of running around the desert fighting beasts, Cindy had given you the rewards due for her errands and Dave’s bounty. The gil and potions received much appreciated by everyone, replenishing your limited supply of both. To make your return even better, she delivered the Regalia, fixed and ready to go. But before you guys could continue on your trip, she had let you know that she placed a package in your trunk to be delivered to the motel owner at the Longwythe rest area. “On ya’ll way down to Galdin if you wouldn’t mind delivering it for me.” had been her sweet Leide accented request. You had thought that quite presumptuous of her but didn’t voice your thoughts because Prompto had quickly gushed about how you guys would happily do it. Noctis just shrugging it off and agreeing to deliver the package.

Now here you all are, exhausted from your day and pulling into the Longwythe rest area to deliver the package.

“We have arrived,” Ignis announces, mainly for Noctis’s sake since he had fallen asleep on the drive over.

“Woo hoo! I am starving! Let's get some food!” Prompto exclaims as he climbs out of the car after Noctis.

Gently you remind Prompto of the package to be delivered first. “Ah man!” is his whining reply.

It was an easy enough transaction. Within a couple of minutes after Noctis talked to the motel owner, the package was removed from the trunk and gil received for it.

“Alright, time for some food,” Noctis says with gil in hand, but at the same moment, a black and white dog walks up. When Noctis greets the dog enthusiastically and pulls off the notebook strapped to its back, do you realize the dog is Umbra. The messenger that helps Noctis and Luna correspond through a notebook. Noctis takes a couple minutes to read Luna’s message and writes his response with a few hasty scribbles.

This was your first time seeing Umbra and the notebook. The guys have talked about them in the past, and it always made you wonder why Noctis and Luna would choose that method to converse with each other. You had never asked, feeling it wasn’t your place to question, but now watching Noctis as he reads her message and responding with his own, you begin to understand. The sweetest smile on Nocti's face is full of fondness. Clearly, he treasures the message received from Luna and doesn’t mind the limitations bound with the notebook. Maybe it has been the safest way for them to converse while she has been under the Empires watch, you think as Noctis places the notebook back on Umbras back. Once the notebook is attached once more, Umbra trots off without glancing back.

“What did she say Noct?’ Prompto inquired impatiently as Noctis stands back up.

“She says that she is leaving Tenebrae now. I let her know that we are also on the way.”

“Good to know,” Gladio states “Seems like we should arrive in Altissia around the same time, that is if everything goes as planned.”

Ignis gives a nod. “I believe we will, we are still on schedule, despite the delay today. May I suggest Noct that we call it a day here. Get some sustenance at the diner and stay in the motel for the night?”

“Sounds like a good plan to me. I’m beat.” Noctis says, wiping his brown to exaggerate his statement.

“More like you want to play Kings Knight. I don’t think I have seen you go this long without playing it,” Gladio teases giving Noct a playful shove.

“Yeah yeah, whatever, but now that you mention it, I think I will play Kings Knight tonight. What about you Prompto?”

“I’m game!” Prompto quips excitedly.

“Well with that settled let us head to the diner,” Ignis prompts sounding slightly exasperated, but with his lips twitching upwards.

Noctis and Prompto make a quick beeline to the diner wanting to play a quick game of Justice Monsters 5 before eating. Ignis follows close behind them, always one to keep a close eye on Noctis. Gladio and yourself follow at a leisurely pace.

As you glance over at Gladio, a familiar feeling of comfortability settles over you. It was your first time being alone with Gladio today, and you were happy to find that you didn’t feel awkward around him due to the dream. No matter the situation he is my best friend. It doesn’t really matter that my feelings towards him are confused since I will never confess them...And—I’m also pretty sure he has a girlfriend...hard to say though, he always has tons of girls around him.

Feeling relieved at having settled your troubled mind, you let out a contented sigh. Your only concern now is how soon you can get to a shower to clean off all the dirt accumulated from running around in the desert and wrestling with sabretusks.

“This has been a long day, hasn’t it (Y/N)?” Gladio questions as he looks at you in response to your sigh.

“Yes,” you confirm, "It seems like this trip will have more challenges than I originally anticipated, but I should have figured.”

Gladio chuckles, “I thought you knew Noctis enough to know that nothing is easy with him. He is a magnet for weird things happening. At least we won't die from boredom.” He gives you a wink.

“I never expected boredom Gladio. You four are anything but boring, even when you are just playing Kings Knight.” You step into the dinner as Gladio holds the door open for you. “Thanks,” you say courteously.

“Anytime,” is Gladio’s rumbling reply followed by a smirk. You give him an amused eye roll, immune to his usual flirtatious manner. You learned long ago that he flirts with almost every female he comes across.

As you take a seat on a barstool next to Ignis at the diner counter, Gladio settles down on the other side of you. Ignis tells you guys that he has placed an order for everyone, hamburgers, and fries, since in his own words “It was the most nutritional meal available.” You agree with him on that. "Healthy” has never been the main concept of meals at Crowsnest diners. They are more about providing fast “comfort” food for weary travelers.

Thinking about days ahead, you smile with the thought of Ignis becoming flustered because of imbalanced meals Noctis would be having while eating out. You having been present for many conversations related to Noctis’s peckish palate and knew that Ignis took it personally in keeping Noctis nutritionally balanced. These next couple of days will be hard for Ignis, but once in Altissia, there will be much better food options. Heck, even tomorrow we will get to eat at the famed Galdin Quay restaurant.

Noticing your smile, since you were also glancing at him Ignis makes an inquiry of its source. “Oh I was just thinking that Noctis is probably going to enjoy the lack of vegetables for dinner tonight,” you respond a little too cheekily.

Only a slight frown graces Ignis's face, “Yes, well, the reprieve from vegetables will be minor, I—” Ignis cut off his explanation of how to secret vegetables into Noctis's meals as the spread of carbs and meat it set before you guys. His frown deepening as he toys with the paltry slices of tomato, onion, and lettuce making up the vegetable count for the meal. Leaving Gladiolus to call Noctis and Prompto away from their Justice Monsters 5 game. Both of them settle down as well at the counter without needing to be asked twice.

No one talks much during the meal other than asking for napkins or ketchup to be passed, everyone's focus on consuming a much needed meal. When you all are almost done with the meal, the diner owner pauses in front of your group. “I couldn’t help but notice that you all seem like skilled fighters. Your appearance and all.” He pauses, looking a little abashed, “It seems also that you guys have had a busy day, but if it wouldn’t be too much trouble for you I have a mighty need for a particular bounty to be completed...and it can only be done at night time,” The man rushes on seeing weary looks come across all your faces, “None of the hunters passing by have taken it for over a month now, so do you think you can help…” The man trails off with a hopeful expression.

The person to respond first is Ignis, “We may be able to help, could you please expand as to what the bounty is for?”

“Well, there is a group of goblins that have been running havoc at the Balouve mine nearby. People have been wanting to try and reopen it but are discouraged because of the daemons presence. It would help us people who live here at Longwythe rest area considerably if the mine was to be opened again. Of course, you will be rewarded with gil and Hi-potions.”

Ignis nods and looks over to Noctis, “We do need potions and more gil wouldn’t hurt either before heading to Altissia. What do you want to do Noctis?”

You poke Prompto a little when you hear a whimper start to come from his lips, causing him to suck in a breath instead, and sit in silence.

Noctis thinks over the decision for a second, then looks at the diner owner saying, “We’ll accept the bounty. Shouldn’t be any trouble and we're happy to help where we can.”

The man thanks you all profusely and then gives you the location where the goblins have been sighted and other relevant information. It is already dark by the time you guys exit the diner but before heading out Ignis rents two motel rooms (one for yourself and one for the guys. Ignis wouldn’t entertain the thought of cramming you in a room full of men). Once everyone's belongings are unpacked into the assigned motel rooms, you guys take off to the bounty’s location.

During the twenty minute ride to the mine, Prompto voices his concerns. “Guys, just so you know I have never fought a daemon before. I mean I’m still not that great with taking out regular beasts!”

“Don’t worry Prompto, (Y/N) and I have experience in fighting daemons. Just watch us, and you will get the hang of it.” Gladio says while giving Prompto a pat on the back.

“That's right!” Prompto exclaims, “(Y/N) you took out TONS of daemons during your search and retrieval year to pay for your weapon. I almost forgot, man it is a relief to know you are with us and all your knowledge about fighting daemons.”

Prompto looks wrily at Gladio who is obviously miffed by not being included in the praise, and continues, “It’s okay big guy, sometimes you can’t be the best at fighting everything. Not sure why you are so upset. You were the one to tell us how impressed you were at (Y/N's) fighting skills against daemons.”

With that last statement you turn around in the front seat to look at Gladio, who was sitting behind you, and you catch him putting Prompto in a headlock. He was whispering something into his ear, so you forgo asking Gladio about the supposed praise he had given about you. You thought he was more skilled at fighting, so you were curious as to how your fighting style was different with daemons. Looking over at Noct squished against the door, you make eye contact and share silent laughter at Prompto’s current situation.

When you sit back down in your seat Ignis looks over at you, “Speaking of your experience (Y/N), and of course, yours as well Gladio, what should we expect when fighting the goblins? I have book knowledge about them, but I have yet to encounter one in person as well.”

You take a quick look back at Gladio and he gives you a nod of encouragement, “I’m not expecting it to be too tough of a fight. It will be similar to how we handled the sabertusks. The bounty report says that seven goblins have been sighted, so the difficulty will be in not allowing them to surround us and then overwhelm us individually. They are smarter than beasts and will try to get a person separated from the group. They are quick, making it difficult in targeting but you will be able to anticipate their movements after a fashion. Gladio do you have anything to add?” You wanted to give Gladio a chance to provide his own input since he does have a lot of experience with fighting daemons as well.

“Everything is as (Y/N) said. The most important part I believe is understanding that they are far more intelligent than beasts. Expect them to have their own strategy.” Gladio reinforced.

“Thank you both for your insight,” Ignis says, “Your advice is congruent with my book knowledge. I agree that as long as we approach the battle with tact, we should be able to take them out quickly. Which means Noctis, please do not rush in.” Ignis finishes by making eye contact with Noctis through the rearview mirror.

“Okay okay, got it, Iggy,” Noctis responds with mild irritation.

When Ignis parks the Regalia at the Balouve mine, it is full dark. Upon Ignis’s instructions, you all slowly walk down the hillside below your parked car, to the reported goblin sighting. Halfway down, you hear the gurgling whooshing sounds of the daemons appearing, “They have arrived, be on your guard,” you warn needlessly. Everyone knew and could see the goblins already approaching.

“We are surrounded,” Prompto points out weakly.

Ignis, the tactician, provides instructions rapidly, “Everyone pick one, and take it out as soon as possible so that our odds are increased. Also, try to attack from behind to increase the damage caused. Noctis once you take out your first target warp around to others and keep them occupied. It will prevent them from overwhelming someone.” You all give Ignis’s instructions acknowledgment and then there is no more time to talk. The goblins attack.

As you rush towards your targeted goblin, you see Noctis land a killing warp strike blow right away and progress to phasing around goblins near him. Perfect, Noctis has at least two distracted, you think as you sidestep your target's sweeping arm attack. Before it has a chance to turn around you throw your shuriken into the goblins back, warping to it upon contact. Your weight sends the goblin flying onto its stomach, and within the next breath you dislodge your weapon and slam it back down with all your might. Your weapon bites deep into the earth as it passes through the daemon.

While retrieving your weapon from the dissolving daemon, you assess how everyone else was doing with a glance. Close to your right, Gladio was turning away from what looked to be a dissolving daemon, and heading over to help Prompto and Ignis. They were several yards straight across from you and had two goblins skirting around them, preventing Prompto from getting a clean shot and Ignis was only getting in small wounding strikes. Gladio will be able to help turn the tide in that fight, now where is Noctis? , you think as you scan the surroundings.

The sound of Noctis warping makes you turn your head to the left. He is a little way up the sloping hillside dodging around two daemons and attacking each in turn. Impressive with his fighting skills, being able to take on two goblins with ease. Even so, you quickly warp to his side to assist. “Hey there Noct, just going to steal one of these guys from you,” you say jovially as you block an oncoming attack from said goblin.

“Go right on ahead, you are the daemon master (Y/N),” Noctis says amiably tinted with only a little sarcasm.

This second goblin gives you a bit more grief than the first one you fought, but you eventually take it out with a dual strike attack by splitting your weapon. As your goblin begins to disintegrate, you see that Ignis, Prompto, and Gladio have taken out their last goblin, and seem relatively unharmed. You turn around to see how Noctis was doing. Last you saw he had been going in for a killing blow. So when you turned around, you were not expecting to see the blue remnants of Noctis’s magic right in front of you, and in the same second the ugly face of a goblin. In the half second following, you register that the goblin had an arm with claws outstretched coming down in a massive swing aiming right at you.

I am going to be gutted, is your only thought as, on pure instinct and muscle memory, your raise your weapon up to block the blow. Saving you from your foretelling of being gutted but the goblins claws still make a connection with your soft exposed flesh.

The searing pain of three claws rending flesh begins on the edge of your right jaw and runs down your neck and across your chest. At the most inappropriate time, your mind points out that you should have worn your leather kingsglaive jacket, instead opting for your cotton tank top due to the hot desert weather. But it wouldn't have provided much more protection against an unguarded attack. A loud growl filled with anger and annoyance at yourself and the goblin rumbles from your throat as you stare into yellow daemon eyes. All movement of the goblin stopped by a point of your shuriken piercing its arm.

Immediately, while letting out a fierce roar, you push the goblin away with your weapon, while also turning its sharp blades into the goblin. With the abrupt removal of its claws from your chest, you feel a large chunk of flesh being ripped out. A spike in pain jabbing deep into you. But adrenaline quickly numbs the pain as you descend upon the daemon. With a quick, decisive slash across the goblin's face, fueled by the rage coursing through your veins, it disintegrates in death.

As the body vanishes, you inspect the wound inflicted by it. Looking down at your chest you see a large bloody area of rendered flesh above your left breast, where the claws had been ripped out. The ragged flesh is bleeding but you notice that a heavier blood flow is coming from higher up. Fingers gingerly following up the three deep lacerations trailing up to your jaw, you find where the blood is pumping out in time with the heartbeat in your ears. Your brain quickly assesses that the claws must have damaged your carotid artery on the swing down. Knowing the danger of blood loss, you press your palm firmly over the wound. Trying to staunch the flow of blood, but it relentlessly seeps out. The artery wasn't punctured fully, but I am still losing a significant amount of blood.

When you feel hands tightly grip your shoulders you look up, realizing that your gaze had drifted to the ground. And that the adrenaline was no longer masking the pain throbbing through your chest with each shallow breath or twitch. Limbs heavy at your sides and everything swimming before your eyes, it takes a large amount of effort to recognize who is standing in front of you. Saphire eyes looking much too worried for your liking. “Noctis?”

“I’m so sorry (Y/N)! I wasn’t thinking when I dodged the goblin. Are you alright?”

Finding his question a little humorous, you laugh weakly. A bad decision you realize as pain shoots through your nerves with the act. “No," you rasp between clenched teeth. You know that without Noctis’s hands on your shoulders, you would be dangerously close to falling. Knees feeling more like jello every passing second.

Noctis looks behind him and through the blood pounding in your ears, you hear him asking Ignis for a potion. Vaguely you hear Ignis reply that he used the last of the potions during the fight. Prompto piping up from somewhere off to the side that he had some stolen by a goblin. I knew we should have stocked up before leaving the rest area, your not so helpful inner voice points out and then really drives the nail home with, but this was supposed to be an easy encounter and here you are the “daemon master” with a fatal wound. Outwardly you cringe with your shame. It has been a while since you were injured this severely. The last time was while a hunter at the tender age of sixteen. The only reason you survived that fatal wound was from a fellow hunter having an elixir on hand. The wound had been healed immediately, leaving no scars to mark your close encounter with death. Even so, since that day you have prided yourself on not sustaining a major injury again.

And now here I am in the worst case scenario of having no potions while bleeding out. I need to get something better than my hand to stop the blood. As your groggy mind berates you while also trying to find a solution to your major blood loss, your body abruptly becomes weightless. Slowly you realize that you have been lifted up in someone's arms, and the soon following gruff voice allows you to distinguish whose arms you are in. “Here drink this. Can’t have you dying on us,” Gladio states as a potion is handed to you by Ignis. You drink it quickly and a refreshing feeling flows over your body, relieving most of your pain and dizziness. Looking up at Gladio, your gaze is met with copper eyes ablaze like wildfire. A mixture of frustration and concern in them. “You are fortunate I was able to collect a potion from the fight. How are you feeling?" Gladio askes gruffly. "Looks like the bleeding has stopped."

Heat rises to your cheeks at the disapproving tone in your best friends voice. Definitely safe from death's door via blood loss if I can blush. Removing your hand from your neck, you confirm that the bleeding has stopped. Taking a quick glance down at your chest shows you that your skin has knitted together over the ragged claw marks. Instead of open wounds, there is now three lines of raised pink flesh. “I think I am okay now. Thank you, I was in a dire situation there.”

Gladio gives a nod, and says thickly, “Yeah..not sure what we would've done without that potion.”

Now that your mind is no longer in a haze of blood loss and pain you become acutely aware of how you are being held against Gladio’s broad chest. So close that you can feel his heart beating furiously. Wanting to get out of the vulnerable - embarrassing - position you are in, you make an attempt to get released from his arms, but his grip tightens around you instead.

“Gladio you can let me down now. I can walk on my own,” you declare briskly, but it is made void as a wave of dizziness descends upon you again, and you clutch Gladio's vest like a life preserver.

“I don’t know (Y/N), I think you should let Gladio help you out. You are not looking so good...I mean besides being covered in blood and all,” Prompto advises, his face full of sweet concern.

Following Prompto, Ignis says, “I would have to agree. I also suggest that we stay at the nearby haven tonight. The diner will be closed by now, so we can’t get the Hi-potion reward until the morning, and I can cook a meal tonight that should help increase your recovery time.”

Feeling the last of your pride vanishing along with your strength, you look over at Noctis to get his opinion on the matter. He gives a slight shrug, “I don’t mind camping, and I think Ignis’s cooking would help you out a lot since we don’t have any more potions. ”

In defeat, you look back up at Gladio and see that his eyes are now full of humor at the situation you are in. Seems he is done being mad at me. Giving him a steely glare, trying to impart you were not happy with being carried you said, “Fine. I will allow you to shuttle me to the haven but after that, my own two feet will carry me.” You then look at Ignis in appreciation, “Thank you Ignis for offering to make a meal for me. I truly appreciate it.”

“It is a pleasure,” Ignis says with a slight nod then turns to Noctis and Prompto, “Come with me to the car. We will drive to the haven and start setting up camp, so that is ready by the time Gladio and (Y/N) arrive.”

With a broad grin on his face, Gladio starts up the hill towards the haven about five hundred yards away. Even though you are ashamed at needing to be carried, you find yourself relaxing into Gladio's arms. The feel of his strong muscles giving you comfort, allowing you to give in to your weariness. The potion had taken you out of the danger zone of dying, but it was going to take a good night's rest before you would feel like your usual self again. No need for using a precious Hi-potion tomorrow morning, you decide. You know that by not using one, and healing the good old fashion way, scars will be left but that wasn't a reason to waste a precious healing item. The claw marks will serve as a good souvenir and reminder to stay humble.

To make yourself more comfortable you wrap your arms around Gladio’s neck, lifting yourself up a little. Garnering Gladio's attention. “Are you really feeling fine?” he asks gently, trying to meet your eyes.

Guilty about the whole situation, you keep your gaze averted. “Yes, in the sense that I am going to survive. That potion literally saved me, and again thank you but now….” you lapse into silence as your mind drags you down a hole of self-loathing for becoming a burden to the group. A gentle jostling from Gladio brings you back. Glancing up and away from his eyes you continue, “...Now the pain is that I, a Kingsglaive, have become a burden to the one I am supposed to protect...Sorry for failing in my duties.”

You don’t dare look at Gladio as you give your apology. It must be from the blood loss, but you feel tears ready to burst forth. The frustration you had seen in Gladio’s eyes when you looked into them after using the potion, burned into your mind. You can’t take Gladio being disappointed in you as a fellow warrior. “ I promise I won't let myself be caught off guard like that again. I was much too lax in approaching that fight. I know I should be better. My cockiness always ge—”

“(Y/N),” Gladio says your name so sharply that you stop mid-sentence and look at him slightly startled. With soft eyes, he says, “First off don’t make a promise that you can’t fulfill. You should know better than anyone that combat is full of unexpected situations. Secondly, what happened today, could have happened to any of us easily. You were in the wrong place at the wrong time, so stop tearing yourself down. You are one of the best fighters I know, and today does not change that fact.”

Gladio’s words help ease away the knot of tension in your chest. You let out the breath you had been holding ever since he said your name. “Thanks, I still don't feel good about the situation, but I am glad you’re not mad.”

Gladio stops in his tracks. “Why would I be mad?”

“Well, you looked pissed right after I used the potion. I figured you were upset that I had not upheld the high standard as a Kingsglaive and protector to Noctis.”

Gladio was silent for a moment, then started walking again towards the haven. “Yes I was frustrated, but it wasn’t towards you.” He stops talking, but you wait patiently for him to continue, and when he doesn’t after several steps you poke him in the abdomen. Your turn to remind him to finish his thoughts. “I...was...am frustrated that I wasn’t near enough to help. I am Noctis’s shield, but if anything happens to you...I don’t ever want to come that close to having to think about it again.”

The copper amber eyes now looking at you hold a mixture of pain and...affection. No, that can’t be. I’m delusional because of blood loss, but as you think the thought Gladio pulls you closer and plants a gentle kiss on your lips. It only lasts a second, but you are blown away. Your brain whirling with disbelief from the softness of his lips. Their firm but light pressure molding to yours.

When Gladiolus pulls away and looks at you, you must have a stupid expression on your face because he lets out a laugh straight from his belly. “Are you truly so surprised (Y/N)? Or was the kiss that bad?”

All you can stammer out is, “No,...wait, what?”

Gladio hosts you up a little and tightens his grip, muscles flexing, “I like you a lot (Y/N). Everything about you and I have for a while," he mutters, eyes holding you captive. "I've held off on telling you because it has always seemed like you valued your independence." Chuckling a little, he breaks eye contact, looking to the distance in remembrance. "Always unaffected by my flirting, which was very unusual, it shook my resolve a little. Then once we became friends, well, I didn’t want to ruin it with romance.”

Gladio starts walking again, glancing down, “But all my reservations were thrown to the wind when I saw you get slashed open, blood gushing down your chest...if I hadn’t spotted a potion on my way over to you, our situation would be very different right now. That's why I was 'mad' as you said, the thought of losing you forever, never to see you again, made me frustrated that I had wasted so much time being away from you. How much more time or experiences could we have had if I had taken the chance and told you my feelings...I don’t want to feel that regret again.” Gladio lets out a heavy sigh, but you remain silent, absorbing all that he is saying. “So that kiss, that was me telling you I like—no for six sake, I love you (Y/N). I have my duty to Noctis, but you are the most important person in my heart. That will never change, but I can respect your decision if you don’t feel the same.”

You can’t help but stare at him. He just laid it all out there plain as day, and you are still having trouble believing it. Yes, he has flirted with you, but he does with all women, just a natural charmer. You had never taken it as personal affection towards you. But he just said he loves me ...Seconds have passed you realize since he stopped speaking, but you are not sure how to respond. You love him, and his feelings make you happy, but something is making you hesitate...

It is him, the dream man. Frustrated that he is popping back into your head during this intimate moment with Gladio you cover up his imploring eyes, with copper ones. And focus on your feelings towards Gladio. I. do. love. him. , you tell yourself, and without further thinking pull yourself up, aiming for Gladio’s lips.

Reading your intentions, he stops walking and leans down to meet you. This time the kiss is passionate. Both of your lips eagerly greeting each other. Taking the time to fully appreciate the feel and taste of what has been withheld for so long. One of your hands caresses his neck while the other runs fingers up into his hair to pull him closer. Gladio's groaning mouth complies to you want easily.

You breathe in his sweet scent as he opens his mouth and runs his tongue along your lower lip. Enticing. Asking. Reaching out your own tongue, you run it against his own. The smooth texture and taste of his tongue is everything you have imagined, causing warmth to fill your body. Both of you explore each others mouth, enjoying this new intimacy of your friendship. Both of you parting only enough to gasp for air. When you do eventually pull way, after a minute or so, you are flushed and dizzy. And see that Gladio is similarly affected, breathing hard.

Looking into his eyes you say breathlessly, “I do feel the same way Gladio. For a long time as well.” You give a little smile when disbelief creeps onto his face. “It's true. I was too intimidated by you at first to say anything and didn’t want to taint our friendship with my more-than-friends feelings. It does seem silly now, doesn’t it?" you admit, but then cock your head as if thinking. "Then again, there is always a gaggle of girls around you...Which reminds me, I thought you have a girlfriend right now?”

“No, we broke up about two weeks ago. She just couldn’t compete with the woman who I spar against most mornings,” Gladio says with a smirk. He then gives a tight squeeze, “I'm happy (Y/N) that you feel the same. I didn't have a plan for if you didn't."

You give a quick peck on his lips and say, “Well no sense in worrying about it now. You are stuck with me.”

When you two finally reach the haven, Gladio grudgingly sets you down but holds onto you tightly around the waist. The other guys are not oblivious to the fact that something happened between you and Gladio, which causes Prompto to ask, “So did you tell her Gladio?”

Noctis gives Prompto a jab in the ribs while Ignis stares him down before they do anything more you declare “Yes he did and yes, we are together.”

“Well, it's about time.” Ignis replies, “I am quite surprised that Gladio was able to go this long without pursuing you outright.”

“Same here” Noctis adds, “It is a relief to know we won't have to be careful not to give up the ‘secret’ anymore.”

“Ok guys, we can celebrate this later. Is the food ready Ignis?” Gladio says, pointedly steering the conversation away from your new relationship status.

Ignis nods, “Yes it is, I will dish it up and bring it over.”

You quickly gobble down the egg and tomato stir fry, feeling famished even though you had eaten only an hour before. Once done with your meal Gladio helps you settle down for the night. Showing a softer side, you've known about but had yet been on the receiving end. And it was absolutely wonderful and cute in how affectioned he was.

Once most of the blood and dirt was cleaned way, and you were in your sleeping bag (clothes still on since you guys had left your baggage at the motel), Gladio seemed a little uncertain of what to do next. You know what you want though, so you beckon him down. “Will you lay next to me until I fall asleep.” Desperately you wanted to continue where you had left off with the kiss, but sleep was heavy on your eyelids. The warm meal in your belly lulling you to sleep better than any sleeping potion.

You would think you had just told Gladio he won the jackpot by how his eyes sparkle and the huge grin present on his face. “Sure thing...babe.” You smile at the use of the endearing term, suspecting that he has wanted to use it on you for a while. Rolls off his tongue quite nicely. Flipping onto your side, you become the little spoon and fall asleep nestle in Gladio’s warm embrace, his breathing guiding you into a deep healing slumber.

#unveiled #gladio x reader #chocobros #ffxv fanfiction #ffxv #final fantasy xv #fifth member story #ardyn x reader #no ardyn in this chapter #sad i know #this was so long but i couldn't split it up #yay #it took me a week #good lord #gladiolus amicitia

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