#It seems like everyone in my life is under the impression that I'm just lazy bc it's taken me forever to get through college

[front-facing-pokemon]

I just found this blog so I'm jumping aboard the plushie bandwagon.

First we got Absol. (i feel like maybe i should've taken a closer-up picture but it's the face sooo)

Then a Wooloo

And, saving best for last, this Leafeon plush I own... of which I swear on my life is official merch.

I also have some more eeveelutions (plus an eevee and a few more) but: 1. I didn't want to send too many. 2. Eeveelutions are more popular so I wanted to give some other people the chance to submit their own. 3. I don't know where my Pikachu and Snivy plushies are cuz I own too many stuffed animals.

Only reason I submitted Leafeon was so I could show off this ~masterpiece~ of a plushie I own. And it's face isn't the only thing wrong with it too lol. Also I just noticed I accidentally had one of the ears hanging back but I'm too lazy to go take another photo but i hope this amuses you nonetheless.

ALRIGHT THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF YOU AS I'VE BEEN OUT WITH MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS HUH

let's start with these guys. beautiful. wonderful. i do not believe that that leafeon is official merch. this statement is baffling to me. welcome to the front-facing pokémon family. i love the eyes on that absol and wooloo is one of my faves. i was rather obsessed with it when it first came out and have a whole wooloo tag on my main blog because of it. though i guess i cleared that whole thing out recently so i don't anymore

let's get the nose ratings out of the way:

↑ this is a lie. 10/10 chespin

it's very wide and also 10/10 you're being too harsh. merry day to you too

circular face indeed. did i already post this one? if i did you can have it again

clodsire be upon ye. clodsire fans this is your treat until gen 9

this is a trend now. i think tumblr just crunched this image to hell for some reason so here's what the text says:

"Felt like joining the others for front facing pokeplushies [images] I have more pokemon but its early morning and these are the plushies that are easy to access"

i have not but i imagine "a moment" has long passed by now. my apologies but apparently today was an important day or something? idk

YEAH it's super unbelievably fucked up. i think i kinda remember the circumstance being a bit dire so everyone else was more worried about either 1. protagonist getting stomped on brutally or 2. saving the world from kyurem / the bittercold. i was totally under the impression that he was dead in that moment but i guess the characters may have known that he would just come back? i seem to vaguely remember partner being surprised that he came back and being like "but we watched you die :OOO" but maybe i'm misremembering that. i do create a lot of pmd lore on my own time so i have a hard time telling the difference between canon and fanon sometimes

two a day makes the world go round! this blog started when i started college, paused for 80% of my college career and now has started back up and i just graduated college a week ago. i would say "how time flies" but it has been a very, very long year

i've said it before and i'll say it again: gen 6 is my favorite gen, so you'll be seeing lots of favor for this gen from me in the tags i'm sure. maybe gen 6 is my excuse to start doing other things here. like that stream i keep talking about

if they put meloetta as a little obscure puzzle thang in sv, i'm sure they'll do something for genesect. i hope. at least for keldeo probably. genesect i'm not sure is very popular, unfortunately, outside of the tumblr crowd. if the general public's opinion on genesect is favorable, then maybe

okay and then i tried to scroll down further in my screenshots for more asks and saw the wobbly will smith in a hospital bed Gimme a Hug, Man that i copied from the "i get a little bit genghis kanghis" post so that's it. to everyone who christmases: merry it. it is today. although it's basically over by now so! merry boxing day for tomorrow if i don't say anything tomorrow. but i probably will. now i'm gonna go queue up today's 'mons because i haven't done it yet today. see you all in a few weeks when those post

[slowdripsunrise]

jfc okay so i have forgotten/been too lazy to write up reveiws here i apparently havent updated since. lone women which is well. so ive read a shit ton since then so i'm going try my best to write up as much as i can in this post bc i don't want to just. stop and skip over stuff. so well. here we go. spoilers for various books under the cut, i'll tag them all !

first book i finished after i last updated was silver nitrate by silvia moreno-garcia. been a while but damn do i remember the fucking vibes. absolutely killer vibes and atmosphere, and the plot was fun and interesting; i do remember being a bit confused in one of the final scenes fighting the guy but it wasnt enough to take me out of the story. the characters felt real and i could feel their love of movies and maybe each other off the page, definitely recommend if you're looking for an atmospheric, creepy little book.

next (and i'll just group these together) i read the poppy war trilogy by r. f. kuang ! absolutely wonderful storytelling and the characters were interesting and loveable. i think that this story succeeds in being one of the few good "war stories" as in it doesn't glorify or make light of any aspects of the war. there are good moments and bright spots throughout, but in the end pretty much every single character we know and love ends up dead, and before they're dead, they've been shaped so thoroughly by the war around them that there is no way anyone could have come out of this series thinking that it in any way romanticized the events. i loved everything about it and more. but while i did love the series. tbh i don't agree with everyone saying that its the most serious and intellectual and groundbreaking book in the entire world. yes it is groundbreaking and yes it is based on a lot of real life horrific events, but it's also. extremely entertaining. it's written beautifully and has some very poignant scenes that i love, and i am gonna be honest i lost where i was going with this point. i think what i'm trying to say is like before i read it, i saw a lot of people on the internet saying that it is like. the highest peak of literature and such and like. for me, it's mostly just a damn good time. i go into most books looking for entertainment (meaning like. i would like to feel emotions, not necessarily happy ones, just emotions in general) and what i think a lot of people made it seem like, was ONLY an epic tome about the brutality of war, the military, and colonization. and it absolutely is about that ! i am not docking points for it being about those things, in fact if it hadn't had all these hard hitting topics i wouldn't have liked it as much. but it's ALSO about rin, kitay, and nezha, and how they love and hate each other. and sometimes i think people lean too much into one aspect of the book, one way or the other (i have absolutely seen the inverse of this, people forgetting about the colonialism and militarization aspects in an impressive show of hypocrisy. which... is worse imo.) but idk. i have no idea what i am trying to say i just like this book yall.

next oml. okay again grouping them together for my own sake but i read the southern reach trilogy by jeff vandermeer ! this series was such a creepy and weird and offputting good time i ate that shit right up. the first book and the biologists pov are my favorites, and all of the insight we get from her and the first book into area x was just. so compelling i could not put that shit down. i'm pretty sure the second i finished in the hospital lol i was INVESTED. and honestly. i did really like the second book. not as much as the first, but i don't think it was bad or underwhelming compared to the first. once i got past the pov shift, i really liked controls pov partly because he is just some guy. like he is just so average and banal, and seeing this set against the absurdity of the rest of the book was really interesting. i liked how even though we weren't IN area x, the southern reach still had that otherworldly and offputting suspenseful energy, even in a familiar setting (office building type i mean. as opposed to weird as fuck forest). that and also i am deep into my f1 phase so like i kept picturing control as checo perez. like hes just so guy to me like hes just a normal guy that has no fucking clue whats going on and thats really funny and awesome to me. like man. anyway the third wasnt my favorite, but i still really like the series as a whole and will probably read the 4th one coming out whenever it does.

NEXT. sharks in the time of saviors by kawai strong washburn. did i cry. maybe. did i really like the story. yes. it was definitely a change of pace for me after reading the above books but the story was lovely and magical and engaging and very sad and i enjoyed every bit of it.

after that i read scattered all over the earth by yōko tawada, which is a story that i kinda have mixed feelings about? i listened to the audio book and the narrator did such a wonderful job, i loved listening to the two man characters talk about language in the mc's made up language, panska. and if the book was just about that, i probably would have liked it more, exploring language and the loss of it; however one of the side characters constantly get's misgenders when the story is outside of her pov. and it's like. really fucking distracting. so like i guess i don't have very mixed feelings about it lol. i liked one bit, definitely did not like another bit, and the rest of the book wasn't really strong enough to sway me back into the "i like this book and think it's interesting" camp. although if you can get past the blatant transphobia, the audio book really is nice to listen to, especially coming off a post surgery high.

next i read the ghost bride by yangsze choo ! this was another really atmospheric, palpable book. i could feel the setting, the humidity, the smells, all of it and it was so good! an engaging story, i'm pretty sure i read this one in a day or two. the characters were fun, the plot moved quickly in a way that made sense, and exploring the realms of the dead and the living with the characters was so fun, definitely recommend !

im gonna wrap this post up here mostly bc im hungry but i still have a lot more to update on ! if u made it this far thank you and also im sorry. happy reading!

[singswan-springswan]

Oh kriff me up. *contemplates life with great exasperation*

here I am again being brutally assaulted by the brainrot. this time, it's chenford mermaid au of all kriffing things and I'm out of my mind nuts so suffer with me

words: 1088

rating: teen and up

warnings: attempted drowning, mentions of kidnapping

summary: Tim does not get paid enough to play lifeguard. AU where he's living it up under the sea instead of training Lucy n stuff. She still manages to get herself into Situations and he still manages to pull her out of them bless his soul.

read here on ao3| part two | part three | part four | part five

@accidental-spice

The first thing Tim notices about her is the long sleeves. Which is weird, since she’s drowning in a cage at the bottom of the marina. 

He doesn’t know what he’s doing there in the first place. As always, he’s bored out of his mind, and he’d been feeling a bit careless the past few days. Risky. With a hint of daredevil. He told himself he’d clean up a little, pluck through the junk on the muddy seafloor and pull out the dangerous bits—the rotting bits, the rusting bits. There’s plenty to sort through, and plenty of stuff to get hurt on. The boats that moor here belong to flippant people. They’d throw just about anything overboard if they can get away with it. Tim snags his fins on dragnets and scrapped lines at least once every time he passes through. There’re rusty crab traps, soggy shoes, corroded machine parts, and the obligatory scattering of plastic. But today is the first time Tim has seen a person sink all the way to the bottom.

It’s actually quite deep for a marina: around twelve meters at low tide. Tim doesn’t go to the surface much but he knows it looks farther than it is. The sediment suspended in the water makes the depth quite obscure—nothing that bothers him, but the same can’t be said for that woman. 

She drops in around the far bend of the docks. There’s a wall there, obscuring the view from land, but there are still moorings that far out that no one ever uses. The perfect place to shrug something off without looking too suspicious. Everyone knows that, if the concentration of trash is anything to go by. Tim was just on his way over when a boat flashes against the sunlight.

He recognizes it easily. It’s not a craft he sees often, but its crew made a lasting impression when he’d seen them in the past. Brash people. Utter disregard for human decency, among other things; Tim is grateful for the water’s poor visibility as he watches the shape of the hull. They’d probably try to kill him if they knew he was there, regardless of any shock they might feel upon seeing a single part of him.

But it seems someone else beat him out today. His lazy musings are cut short after a half minute. There’s a swell to their voices, scraping and a heavy clatter. Then—of all things—a cage breaks the surface with a splash. It turns on an angle and sinks fast. Tim is still blinking at it, stumped, when he realizes it’s not empty.

The panic arrows through the water, like a sharp flick between his eyes. He can’t help the wince as it hits him. It’s been one of his least favorite things about being what he is. By the time Tim pushes the uncomfortable electricity of her terror from his head, the boat is well off, and the cage has hit the mud.

He’s there in a blink without thinking it might be a bad idea. It might have been a while, but he’s still a trained responder, conditioned to care. He’d call it knee-jerk instinct to consider someone else’s life before his own but he doesn’t have knees anymore so it’s probably stupid to think about.

She’s wearing long sleeves.

She’s a cop, Tim notes with a start. There’s duct tape on her wrists and twisted fabric in her mouth. Only a rookie. A cheap padlock holds the cage door shut. Tim could break it off with the right amount of leverage, no sweat, but he hesitates because she’s facing that way. And if she’s facing that way, and she has a body cam… well. He doesn’t want to end up in a circus aquarium because of one throwaway recording.

He comes up from behind and leans over the top of the cage. She’s thrashing, yanking on her arms as the tape unsticks but—it’s layered too thick—her movement only stirs up the sediment and wastes her air. It’s hard to see with all her moving around. But by some miracle, Tim can’t make out a cam. The clip is empty somehow. Maybe her kidnappers took it before they threw her in here. Smart. Convenient.

She looks like she’s crying. Tim’s always had a hard time telling underwater. Tough for her. She should have known better than to head on those thugs without backup. Where was her TO? 

The woman kicks at the cage side, angry and frustrated and bordering hysterical; Tim can feel it in the way the water sings. He drops to the level of the lock. At this spot in the marina, there’s plenty of stuff he can use to bust it up, none of which would reasonably be safe to handle, but he’s been feeling kind of careless recently. Anyway he can’t just watch this rookie die. Even if he runs the risk of her remembering him. 

Her eyes catch onto his form. She squints. Between the water and the murky cloud of mud poofed up around them, he doubts she can see his form clearly. Humans have horrible eyesight underwater. But whatever she can make out has her twitching, and her panic reaches new heights somehow. Tim frowns against the sparking onslaught. Getting distracted won’t help. 

He jams a rebar and half a crusty wrench into the lock’s loophole, straining until the metal breaks free with a muted snap. The woman’s chest is spasming; she jerks every second or so and her fear spikes. Tim ignores it. He swings the padlock off and tosses it away. It’s only a simple matter to latch the cage open. 

She kicks back, pushing to shove in a far corner but she’s seizing up now, wracked completely by convulsion. It’s a matter of seconds before she inhales. Tim dodges a swift leg and grabs her by the elbow. He can feel her delirium. He hauls her close. It’s a bad idea to snap straight up to the surface; such a sudden change in pressure could kriff up her blood’s chemistry. She’ll have to hold on for the time it’ll take to make the slow ascent.

Tim doesn’t want to project a false sense of security by talking straight to her, but she’s terrified and close to blacking out. Plus a voice underwater might be disarming enough to get her focus back. It’s worth a shot anyway, if there’s a small chance it’ll save him the trouble of resuscitating her. 

“Hold your breath, boot.” He says.

[otakween]

Head Start at Birth - Ch. 21-30

The mediocrity continues! I feel like I've read newspaper funnies with higher stakes than this plot. Nothing bad ever really happens to the main characters and they always look/act pristine. The character writing is giving Mary Sue/Gary Stu vibes. I wonder if I would like this back in middle school or if I'd have enough brain cells to recognize its blandness?

Ch. 21

Lilia figures out a way to use magic without any magic energy (thanks to Toma). So now she's fulfilled her goal of allowing Elrich to use magic.

I'm not really emotionally invested at all at this point btw. Everything is so bland (especially Elrich who is just like "perfect boyfriend") that how could I be?

Ch. 22

It feels kind of lazy that the bird gets a cool human form and the dragon just gets to be blue!Lilia :/

More random plot happenings...this time the King is under attack and they're asking Lilia to help. Again with the "chosen one" BS.

Ch. 23

I feel like they totally ripped off the "butler attacks with steak knives" thing from Black Butler. Can't get nothin' past a veteran weeb!

Weirdly I feel like this manga could benefit from more characters. Yeslar and Reslar (Lilia's dragon and bird companions) get way too much screentime. They're so boring lol

Ch. 24

Just when I complain about Lilia's spirits they introduce...even more spirits! Why did they just reveal that Toma had spirits outta nowhere like that?

Reslar freaking out at the faerie seemed a little overblown and out of character (what little character Reslar has). I think Lilia and Elrich should have scolded her instead of just distracting her :/

Ch. 25

I gotta admit, the Sage title is pretty badass. And it looks like she gets access to some fancy library/archive? Hell yeah.

I had the though of "instead of pursuing the invention of the camera via magic why doesn't she just try recreating the non-magical engineering it takes to develop a camera?" But then I was like...wait...I have no idea how a camera works. Also, she was just an otaku in her previous life so she wouldn't have that knowledge either.

Elrich seemed low key jealous that his fiance is more impressive than him. Hopefully those feelings don't turn ugly. (Who am I kidding? This manga has no stakes whatsoever).

Lilia's new ribbons are suuuper cute. As I've said before, this manga at least has eye candy if nothing else.

Ch. 26

Can't decide if this chapter was wholesome or creepy. All these old men freaking out over Lilia with grandfatherly love. I guess it's just not a dynamic you see very often lol

Again we have the whole "MC is the super special chosen one who is smarter than everyone in their new world" vibes 😑

While I relate to Lilia being somewhat introverted, I do think she could have been a little nicer to the sages after they invited her so many times. It also felt weird to me that she didn't have the "wait, maybe this could further my research" revelation sooner.

Ch. 27

The age gap relationship stuff combined with the ultra girly aesthetic is kinda giving me UsagixMamoru from Sailor Moon. Not saying that makes it okay, just that this is pretty common with shoujo I guess.

"I like to carry you" is creepy (AKA she's so young you can carry her, dude >:/) but also...I wish I could be carried places lol. Seems really nice.

Lilia's "I should rely on others more" revelation is good, especially since it goes against the aforementioned "OP MC is better than everyone" vibes. I much rather her see her working with the community than just dominating everyone.

Ch. 28

Woah this one was so short? (Yet it cost the same amount, go figure -_-)

I almost thought there was another time skip since Isaac looked so mature, but nope! Zac is a cool nickname for the name Isaac

Suuuuper contrived miscommunication cliche -sigh- weak

Ch. 29

Okay, not gonna lie, that was pretty romantic. She's still too young to be smooching him though lol. (The "become my family" line got me. I'm a sucker for that sort of thing 😭)

Lilia unlocks some kind of new teleport power and they make it all ominous for whatever reason?

King is sus. I wonder if he's going to try and swoop in and have someone else marry Lilia?

Ch. 30

I was completely wrong about the king, they just keep doing these ominous cliff hangers that amount to nothing. It's pretty frustrating.

Lol back to this manga being absolutely zero stakes. They threatened to take Elrich away but were then like "sike, he doesn't have to go!" This is very "makes it easy" story telling.

They had a "The End" fake out...wish it was real.

The writing keeps pointing out how young Lilia is and how it's weird she's engaged to be married (actually married as of this chapter). If you think it's so weird, why did you write it!? No one is forcing you to write about a married 9 year old! -sigh-

[okayish-omens]

I'm having a fucking breakdown

I'm fully an adult now and have been for some time, but fuck i haven't even figured it out yet. I'm still stumbling along trying to make the best of it

I have it all one moment, then it's all gone the next. I feel organized and on top of it one moment then U fall down the next. I know everything one moment then I know nothing at all the next. I'm energized and ready to go one moment then completely exhausted the next. I'm clear on my goals one moment then i'm at the end of my rope the next.

What will it take for me to get just a breather here? Do i have to hurt myself? I'm already under 24/7 scrutiny by myself, but i can still use my body if i need to let it go. Do i really have a mental block keeping me from taking charge or am i just being a lazy asshole? Do people around me really despise me or is that just in my head? How much of my mental state is real and how much is a self-inflicted fantasy?

I've tried asking for help from friends and psychiatrists and they all tell me to "just get over it" but i don't know how. I feel like i have fallen into a pit and instead of reaching out, everyone's just standing around complaining why i haven't "just climbed out" yet.

I'm sorry i don't live up to your standards. Hell yeah i'm frustrated about it and i hate it somewhere, but honestly i think it's time for me to move on and find a better place for myself. I wish i knew how to cure or even kill what's keeping me from making progress and longterm plans but there wouldn't be any more of me left if i did. For some sick reason i ended up with this fucked-up brain. I'm sorry i have mental issues. I'm sorry i keep forgetting. I'm sorry i don't live up to your standards. I'm sorry i'm overthinking at least three different things at any point of the day or night, i'm sorry i can't dedicate my life to you i'm sorry i'm fucked up i'm sorry my head is telling me i'm the most godawful waste of space every fucking minute i'm sorry my constant mental selfharm is keeping me from doing what you want me to do but i'm sorry i can't do what you actually want me to do because i want to live. But it's best if i leave now and not inflict any more damage or negativity around me. I'm sorry i'm a fucking misfit in a sea of grey mice. I'm trying to fit in but it's making me stand out even more. I'm not sorry i'm fucking pissed off about all the fucking backtalk because that shit should be said to my face so i can hear it. Fuck this toxic culture permeating the walls and our screens. Fuck this harboured grudge situation. Fuck two-faced interpersonal behaviour. Fuck setting double standards that seem to disadvantage me while everyone else is completely unaffected. Fuck this bias.

Fuck dreams, right? Fuck standing out, fuck giving room to people fuck open and honest environments fuck encouraging people fuck positivity just fuck all of it i guess

I'm almost at the end of my rope at the end of the cliff and you're torn between pulling me back and telling me to run to the horizon. No not almost. I am there. And i'm afraid to look back and see that the person holding the rope is also holding scissors.

I'm partly the happiest person alive but i've been completely torn down and left to dust at the same time. I've had too many impressions today, this week, month, year. I just want to go to sleep and wake up and be fine more than a lot of things really, trust me.

But i can't get there alone. I need to be guided and dragged there. There's no more power left in me for this, i've given my all. I'm running on fumes and you're telling me to run faster well i can't. If i knew why, i'd have been cured a long time ago but i'm not.

You don't accept me. Not really. You don't accept mental issues. Not really. You don't think i'm valuable. Not really. You don't see what's going on inside. Not really. After being shot three times in the chest, i'm hesitant to get back up and face the barrel again. So i'm sorry. For all of it, i fucking guess. Or not. I don't care.

[thewayshedreamed]

Congrats on the milestone!!! I was wondering if you could write a combination of the prompts 2 (“c’mere, you can sit on my lap until i’m done working.”) and 21 ( ��i’m bored. come over and sit on my dick.”) from the smutty prompts for Nessian. Thank you and congrats again <3

Thank you for the prompt and the love, nonnie! I'm not going to lie, I shamelessly abandoned my word count limit for this one. I have no excuse other than I got carried away.

Hope you enjoy! This one's for you, lovely! (and everyone who enjoys a bit of Nessian smut. Except those of you in the gc. Y'all know who you are and why).

—

Nesta hated when Cassian's work ran late, especially when she hadn't seen him in days. She was temporarily placated by their active text exchange that afternoon, complete with work grumblings, friend gossip, and inside jokes. Cassian was her best friend and boyfriend all rolled into one deliciously built package.

His millionth text of the day interrupted her thoughts.

I'm bored.

I'm sorry, she replied. Me too. And I miss you.

Cassian: Miss you too, Sweetheart.

Nesta considered that. He must not have gathered her true meaning given the tone of his reply, but she supposed it was difficult to convey via text. What she meant was that she missed his callouses scraping over her skin, the heat of his kisses against her neck, his weight cradled between her thighs. They were several days overdue.

She typed a quick response to drive her point home. No, babe. I miss you, miss you.

The ellipsis pulsed, disappeared, and pulsed again. Nesta bit her lip to contain her smile. It seemed her boyfriend was on the same page.

Oh? he sent back. Then, almost immediately after, Come over and sit on my dick.

Nesta barked a laugh. Cassian wasn't shy in any capacity, especially in matters of sex, but his text was blunt even by his standards. She would be lying if she claimed it didn't make her core clench in anticipation.

I can't believe that worked, she admitted. Give me 20 minutes.

—

Cassian's door was unlocked when she arrived. Nesta was usually grateful that he worked from home considering the flexibility it offered, but she didn't particularly love how it interfered with her plans for the evening. He was seated at the dining table with his laptop in front of him, sitting on what sounded like a conference call and finishing up whatever data entry he needed to finish.

None of it was conducive to their arrangement.

He mouthed "sorry" over the screen of his computer, shooting her a wink for good measure. Nesta had already considered a number of possibilities on her way over, and the small gesture alone had her skin erupting in goose flesh. She tugged at the hem of her skirt and struggled to get situated on the couch nearby. Comfort seemed a distant goal when every movement she made riled her more.

A true test of her self-control came at hearing Cassian sign off of his call for the day, especially when every muscle in her body was poised to spring off the couch on a moment's notice. Rather than orient directly to her, his focus remained on the screen of his computer. His brows were furrowed in concentration, negating any possibility that he meant to antagonize her.

"You know," she challenged, "I didn't come over here to watch you work the whole time."

He glanced at her through his side eye, a small smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "Yeah? What did you come over for, Sweetheart?"

Nesta's cheeks burned, but she squared her shoulders. "You'll have to refer back to our texts. It's not my job to remember your promises."

Cassian huffed a laugh and groaned as he leaned back in his chair. With his fingers laced, he reached his hands toward the ceiling in a long stretch. Nesta could see the impressive length tightening his pants, and her mouth went dry. At least she wasn't the only one affected.

He caught her in admiration and shot her a lazy smile. Her eyes trailed the handsome edges of his face, his broad chest.

"C'mere," he rasped. "You can sit on my lap until I'm done working."

His hand reached down to adjust himself, and he hissed against the contact. Nesta felt less self-conscious about her growing need to cross her legs to relieve some of the tension. Her voice was low, sultry.

"I didn't come over to sit on your lap either, Cassian."

His gaze darkened, his hand sliding beneath the waistband of his pants. "Then get over here and do as I told you."

A shiver ran down her spine. She sat transfixed by the movement of his hand and how he finally freed himself from his pants. Every part of her burned to touch him. The command in his voice had been her undoing; all good sense, gone. Her legs shook through her journey to close the space between them, but he didn't seem to notice.

Cassian groaned his approval as she straddled his lap, his large hand moving in a long stroke up and down his length. Nesta's position allowed him full access beneath her skirt, and he cursed under his breath when he realized she wore nothing underneath. Their lips crashed together, Nesta's hands poised against his shoulders. Cassian wrapped his arm around her waist to lift her over his cock and allowed gravity alone to ease her down until her hips sat flush against his.

Nesta moaned, desperate for friction. Her hips canted automatically until Cassian's rough voice and strong hands stopped her in her tracks.

He tutted his disapproval. "I never said you could move, Sweetheart. I still have work to finish."

"Cass," she whined, unashamed of her arousal. "Please."

"I'll take care of you, I promise." He pressed a kiss behind her ear, reaching behind her to resume his work. "For now, keep things warm for me, baby."

Nesta whimpered and gripped his shoulders. How could he ask that of her? Another couple of minutes, and her hips would be rolling whether she offered them permission or not. She took a deep breath and tried to focus on the sound of the keys working behind her.

But then she was thinking about his deft fingers, how they wrought pleasure from her in immeasurable ways. How his hands always knew where she needed firm pressure of a delicate, teasing touch to—

"Nesta," Cassian warned, his voice hoarse. "What did I tell you about moving?"

He nipped her ear in warning. She forced her hips to settle, silently cursing them for their betrayal. The last thing she needed was Cassian holding out on her any longer.

"Sorry," she gritted out, "I'm— I don't know." Her mind was all over the place, reduced to some primitive by the need between her legs.

He made no moves to remove her from his cock, and she breathed a sigh of relief. His fingers resumed their work, but they would no longer serve to distract her in the process. She needed to think of something less promising, but she came up empty any time she tried.

Cassian added insult to injury, running his nose up and down the length of her neck. Nesta opened up for him, careful not to move her lower body in the process for fear that he would pull away. His lips left a path of soft kisses where his nose had left fire in its wake, and Nesta was a single kiss away from snapping altogether.

"Fuck," he rasped. Her hold tightened on him at the sound of his voice. There wasn't a thing about the man that didn't affect her. "Nesta, you're—" He paused to gather his wits, buried his forehead against her neck. "You're dripping."

To her horror, she realized he was right. Her arousal coated her inner thighs and the skin just above where their bodies came together. She was making an all out mess in her boyfriend's lap, and he had yet to move.

Nesta moaned, tilting her head back to encourage his affections against her neck. "Please hurry," she breathed. "I've done what you asked. Please."

Cassian growled against her skin. How he always reduced her to a begging, pleading mess was beyond her. There wasn't another aspect of her life where she resorted to it, but for him, she would do it shamelessly.

He placed another path of kisses, rougher this time, down the side of her neck and over her collarbones. When he refocused his attention on his work, Nesta let her forehead hit his broad shoulder. Her fingers were white-knuckled against him as she fought her most base urges.

Blessedly, she heard some clicking of the trackpad behind her. In another number of seconds, Cassian stood to lay her roughly atop the table. His hands explored her body, gripping her possessively in all the right places until she was a writhing mess, his order be damned.

"So eager." He moved to grip her wrists in his hand, pinning them over her head. The other gripped her thigh at his side. "Go on, then. Fuck me, Nesta."

She didn't need to be told twice. Her hips rolled against him, taking him deeper than before. Her feet pressed into the strong muscles of his ass in encouragement, but he remained still while he watched their bodies come together. Nesta couldn't think beyond his name rolling from her lips and how badly she needed more, more, more. Before she could say as much, Cassian's restraint snapped.

He widened his stance, spreading her legs farther apart and changing their angle. His hand left her thigh in favor of pressing a supportive arch to the small of her back, his hips snapping roughly into hers.

They dissolved into a symphony of muttered curses and groans. Nesta cried out her pleasure when her release barreled through her, earning a string of praise from Cassian.

"That's it. You're so tight around my cock, Sweetheart," he murmured, his breath leaving him in huffs with each punishing thrust. His eyes snapped up to hers, and she fought to keep her heavy lids open for him. His brow was drawn together in pleasure, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth. Fighting his release was wearing on him, and Nesta could tell he wouldn't be far behind her.

"Gods," he ground out. "You were so good for me, baby. You know that?"

His thrusts came faster, and Nesta cried out. Another world-shattering orgasm was close, so close, when she hadn't thought it possible so soon. Cassian noticed when her pleasure ratcheted up once more, and a look of determination crossed his handsome face. He slid his hand from her back, and pressed it to her lower abdomen, using his thumb to draw broad circles around her clit.

Her hands fought against his grip, but to no avail. She wanted to touch him, to drag her hands all over his body and run them through his hair. More than that, she thought she would need to secure her body against his to ride out another wave of pleasure like the one before.

"Pleasedon'tstop," she muttered, her eyes screwed shut.

"I won't," he promised, his hips pressing into hers and making her dizzy. "Not until that pretty pussy comes for me again."

It took only seconds for Cassian to get his wish. Nesta's cries echoed off the walls of his small apartment, her body shaking through the aftershocks of her release. His hips slammed home when he met his own, his large frame leaning over her body as he spilled inside her.

Once he released her hands, Nesta moved them to his shoulders to draw idle patterns over his skin. Cassian lifted his head to press a kiss to her mouth before separating them and standing to right their clothes. They surveyed the area, how his work was scattered about and his cup of water lay spilled over the floor nearby, and broke out into laughter.

"What am I going to do with you?" he teased, pulling her against his chest in a hug.

Nesta hummed, her first thought sliding past her lips. "Love me."

Cassian placed a kiss to her hair. "Yeah," he murmured. "I will."

[fukurodianthus]

Its just skin

Synopsis: Self-love is not something that comes to you naturally. Years of self-depreciation makes it difficult to grow into the habit of loving yourself despite of the scars peppered across your skin.

But with your fiancé, Tooru Oikawa, you find yourself stealing glances into mirrors quite often. It catches you by surprise when you find yourself...beautiful?

Pairing: Tooru Oikawa X fem!reader

Genres: tooth-rotting fluff , a lil bit of angst thrown in

Word count: 2.2k

Warnings: The reader suffers from body positivity issues and insecurities regarding her appearance.

Author’s note at the end!

(p.s. didnt proof read because im ✨lazy✨ might do it later when im feeling cute idk)

“Y/N-chan, can we leave already? We’re getting late for the party” Oikawa whined, tugging the sleeve of your shirt lightly.

“Tooru, stop being so impatient!” You pushed your whiny fiancé away and concentrated on covering up the acne scars and freckles peppered across your face with layers of concealer. No matter how much you tried, you could never make your skin look half as perfect as that of the girls who dominated your Instagram and YouTube feed. Every time you looked in the mirror, the taunting voices of your family members and friends would creep into your mind.

Oh my god! Whats wrong with your face?

Don’t you wash your face properly?

You’re never going to get married if you look like that Y/N! Do something about that face of yours!

Do you want me to recommend a good dermatologist to you?

No matter what the topic of the conversation was, people always found a way to bring up the topic of your skin condition in it. You could be talking about quantum physics for all they cared, they would somehow find a way to bring up the topic of your skin.

But they didn’t know all those sleepless nights you had spent on the internet looking for remedies, they didn’t know how you cried yourself to sleep every night, praying that you’ll somehow find that your skin had magically healed up when you woke up. But miracles didn’t happen in this world. At least for you, they didn’t.

You spent a humongous chunk of your salary buying medicines, serums, anything skincare specialists would recommend to you. But none of it could you fix you. Ultimately it all ended up in the trash and you ended up on the bathroom floor, sobbing as you looked into the mirror, face contorted with disgust and self-loathing.

But then, Oikawa Tooru stepped into your life. The first person who didn’t grimace as he looked at your face. He looked at it with childish wonder in his eyes, as if he was looking at something…beautiful?  Every night, when you fell asleep in his arms, his fingers softly grazing your cheeks, you felt an unfamiliar warmth blossom inside your heart. If he could love you despite your flaws, what was stopping you from doing it?

But years of self-depreciation made it difficult to develop the habit of loving yourself. There are still moments when you found you yourself drowning in self-hatred.

Take the present moment, for instance.

No matter how much concealer you caked on your face, it didn’t look half as good as you wanted it to. You let out a frustrated groan as you plopped down on the bed. How could you go to the party looking like this, especially when Oikawa would be by your side? Everyone’s appearance paled in comparison to his flawless beauty. Then how could you, of all people, ever stand beside him as an equal? You knew everyone would be comparing you with him behind your back, their jealousy-tinged voices emphasizing on how someone like you didn’t deserve to be with him. You’d always be an undeserving lover for him in their eyes.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?” Oikawa’s voice was laced with heavy concern. “Do you feel sick? I told you to not eat that expired candy bar last night, but you didn’t listen-”

“Tooru, its not that. I think I look very fucking ugly right now and I can’t bear to look at myself in the mirror. I can’t go to the party right now, not when I’m feeling like this.” You buried your face in a soft cushion and let out a frustrated groan as you turned over on the bed.

“Y/N, did you start putting yourself down again?” You felt him plopping down beside you on the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Tooru, don’t lie to me, my skin still looks just as bad as ever.”

“You know, sometimes I wonder if astral projections are real.”

“What? Have you finally lost it?” Your widened eyes searched his face, trying to make sense of his words.

“If it was real, then I’d pull your soul out of your body make you look at your face through my eyes. Because there’s clearly something very fucking wrong with your eyes if you cannot see how damn pretty you are.” Tooru huffed, looking at you nonchalantly as if he was stating the obvious.

“Tooru-” you whimpered, turning on your side to face him.

Tooru and his horrible pickup lines.

Gosh, how can I not love him?

His chocolate-brown eyes softened as he pulled you into his chest. The sound of his heartbeat drowned all the cacophony of all the negative thoughts cluttering your mind.

“Y/N, I thought love at first sight was way too cheesy and corny to be real. But then, one day, back in high school, I saw Iwa-chan talking to you. You looked so fucking pretty, you know? The way you’d bite your lips when you were confused, the way you’d look down and let your hair cover your face whenever you were flustered, it was so damn adorable. I might have gone down on my knees right then, if Iwa-chan hadn’t been there. He’d beat the living crap out of me for playing my ‘disgusting tricks’ on his friend.” Oikawa took your hands in his and slowly drew circles on your palm with his thumb.

“Iwa wouldn’t have to beat you up, I’d do it without a second thought if you pulled any of that shit on me. I always found you very bratty, clinging to Iwa with that radioactive sweet smile of yours.”

“Wow, I was head over heels in love with you on first sight, while your first impression of me was that I’m a brat? No wonder you were Iwa-chan’s friend, you both are so mean.” He pouted, looking at you with playful annoyance.

“That was before I got to know you. Your brattiness started growing on me, gradually. Now I’m so used to it, I think I’d forget how to breathe if I didn’t hear your annoying voice every morning.” You chuckled at how his face kept getting redder with every insult that you threw at him.

“You’re used to my brattiness? Are you implying I’m still a brat?”

“Exactly. Looks like you do have a brain.”

“The most amazing setter on this planet doesn’t have a brain, is that what you’re trying to say?”

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but instead of asking me out on a date directly, you bugged Iwa to set us up on a date until he finally shouted at you in the middle of an English class, saying ‘Alright, Shittykawa, I’ll set you up on a date with Y/N, now stop running that fucking stupid mouth of yours.’ " You stole a glance at his face, savoring his flustered expression. "I’m right, am I not?”

Oikawa’s face reddened to the extent where it seemed that he would spontaneously combust at any moment.

"Tooru, c'mon, we both were emotionally constipated fools who could never ask each other out if Iwa hadn't stepped in." You softly ran your hands over his chest, savoring the warmth radiating from him. "Now stop pouting Brattykawa."

"You and Iwa-cha, both of you can never appreciate me before backtracking, huh?" He ran his fingers through your tangled hair, slowly massaging your scalp.

He knew it always calmed you down.

"Hey, did you really find me pretty that day?" You mind went back to how you looked the day when Oikawa first saw you. Greasy hair stuck to your face, cavernous dark circles covering your under eyes, face swollen as a result of pulling all nighters for a whole week. How could anyone, let alone Oikawa find you pretty when you looked like that?

"Can you not hold a conversation for 5 seconds without putting yourself down, huh?"

" I dont think I can Tooru. It still weirds me out that you, of all people found me beautiful when I looked like such a mess."

"Y/N I think we really need to try astral projections now-"

"Tooru, I'm serious-" You whined.

He chuckled, twilring your hair in his fingertips. "Y/N, after being with you for so long, I've realized something. You look for validation in the eyes of people who couldn’t care less about you. But when finally, someone who really cares for you and sees you as who you are tells you that they are truly beautiful, you brush it off. Why do you pretend that our compliments aren't heartfelt? Why are you so scared of being appreciated?"

Every day, when he saw you stealing glances into the mirror, he noticed how disappointment flashed across your face. He knew how you beat yourself up for not being pretty enough. You were never enough for yourself.

If your mind was a place, he’d waltz into it, shredding the self-destructive thoughts gnawing at you sanity into pieces. He’d untangle the mess inside your head, shattering the walls that bars genuine compliments reach your heart.

Oikawa wasn’t the best with words, not at times like this. But he’d give it his best.

He could feel the wet spots blossoming on his shirt, as you buried your face deeper into his chest.

"Oi!  You dummy! Are you crying?"

"To-Tooru I just think th-that I d-don’t deserve your love because I'm not as good looking as-" You choked out in between an onslaught of sobs.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.” He cupped your flushed cheeks and lifted your chin up, his eyes scanning your face in concern.

“Those fucking stupid scars on your face don’t define who you are, okay? Its just skin, Y/N, you are so much more than just…a piece of skin, you know? Honestly, we’re all just bags of flesh and bones if you look at it that way. Do you think I loved you because you were a particularly pretty bag of flesh and bones?” Even though you found his analogy slightly funny, you noticed how his face lit up with passion so you refrained from making any sarcastic comments. He was trying his best.

“Continue, Tooru. I’m listening.”

“I love you because of who you are. I love the way your lashes flutter when we stargaze on the roof every night, I love you how your hair is a tangled mess when you wake up, I love how your puff your cheeks in annoyance when I stop you from over-drinking coffee every night, I love how you whine when you spend hours trying to get your eyeliner right, only to end up smudging it when you rub your eyes absent-mindedly, I love how your eyes light up when I put an extra spoonful of Nutella in your sandwich…gosh, I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Your grip on his hoodie tightened. He looked at you, breathlessly, scanning your face for a reaction.

Your stared at your reflection in his chocolate-brown eyes, struggling to find the right phrases to express the way his words made you feel. You felt your heart race as if it was beating in pace with a rhythm set in by a drug-induced ecstasy.

What would you call this feeling of warmth that washed over you with every syllable he uttered?

“Thank you.” You wondered if you could’ve said anything better to express how much his words meant to you. God, where were a the fancy words you had learnt from corny YA romance books when you needed them?

But he didn’t need to hear your words to know that you’d been moved by his words. Fancy phrases could never tell him what the faint rosy glow of your cheeks could.

“Stop thanking me for stuff like this. It’s my duty, Y/N. I’m your fiancé for fuck’s sake.”

“You’re such a sap Tooru.” You giggled, squishing his cheeks softly.

“Yeah but you’re hopelessly in love with this sap, so deal with it.” His grip around your waist tightened as he nuzzled his face on your neck, his hot breath fanning across your collarbones.

“Now let me go Shittykawa, we have a party to attend.” You pried his arms off your waist and sat up.

“Babe, we’re about to get married in a few months, you really need to drop that stupid nickname.”

“Hmm, let me think.” Cocking your head to your side, you pretended to be immersed in deep thought. “Nope, not happening.”

“Don’t blame me for what happens next.” Oikawa sat up and tackled you to the bed, pinning your wrists by your side.

“Ooh, now that’s hot, Tooru”

“You know whats hotter Y/N?”

“What?”

“This.” He didn’t give you a chance to respond as his hands slid down to your waist. Your breath hitched in anticipation.

And then he started tickling you.

You broke out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter, kicking him, trying to get him to stop.

Two minutes later, you both lay side by side, panting, faces flushed with breathless fits of laughter.

You caught a glance of your face in the bedside mirror.

Even with your reddened face, tangled hair and smudged mascara, you looked…beautiful.

You felt beautiful.

As you nuzzled your face on his chest, the sound of his heartbeat rumbling in your ears, his words kept replaying in your mind.

“Its just skin, Y/N.”

Author’s note: ahhhhh I kinda wrote this in a flow?? Its a comfort fic/drabble???Idk what this is tbh. This is very self indulgent because I’ve suffered from skin problems(cystic acne ugh🤢) all my life, so I decided to comfort myself through this fic 🥺👉👈 . If only I had an Oikawa in my life 😩✋

N E ways, drink water, get enough sleep(lmao the irony that I’m saying this-) and remember to love yourself because you are beautiful!😤❤️I’ll come for your kneecaps if you put yourself down🤩🔪.

Reblogs would be highly appreciated!

[erensproudsimp]

Work out

Armin Arlert x reader Oneshot

⚠ Sexual Content Ahead ⚠

Summary : I woke up, thought of gym sex and wrote it

Word Count : 2.3k

"Come on y/n, going to the gym is not that bad plus Mikasa would be joining us too", Annie encouraged you.

"Working out seems so much of trouble that I certainly don't want to partake as I'd rather spend my energy to binge watch anime", you replied flatly eyes not moving away from your phone.

Snatching your phone Annie said with a serious face, "Y/n how do you expect to pull any of your anime crushes looking like a potato? "

"Hey! Give me my phone back and even if I do look like a potato Sasha would love me and don't bring my husbands in this topic!" you ran after her to retrieve your phone.

"Alright then, I'll pay you a KFC meal if you come for one day to at least try it out", Annie suggested.

"I don't know why you're so adamant about taking me to the gym but if there's free food involved, I'm in", you gave in.

"I just want you to stay fit you know and we're starting tomorrow so go to sleep", your roommate said preparing her gym bag.

"Whaaat nooo", you complained unaware of the impact that a stranger you're going to meet will have have on you.

The next morning both Annie and you hopped into Mikasa's car to go to the private gym owned by Mikasa's family and family friends.

"That's actually a relief to be able to work out without fearing strangers looking at you", you reassured yourself.

"Yeah it's gonna be really comfortable and I also would like to introduce you to some of my friends y/n, I know you're gonna like them", Mikasa added.

"Well can't say I'm not excited to meet them", you replied looking at your phone reading a fanfiction.

Couple of minutes later you reached your destination. From the outside the building looked very modern with transparent glasses through which you could see the inside and barely any life around made the place peaceful.

When you went inside, Mikasa took you both to the changing room where you left your stuff on the shelf to change your outfit.

Putting your towel on your shoulders followed by Annie, Mikasa led the way to her friends who were lifting weights.

"Hey guys", Mikasa said to get their attention, "This is y/n and Annie and this is Eren and Armin", she said pointing at each person respectively.

"Pleasure to meet you two", Armin said as Eren nodded with him.

You swore that the moment you saw the blonde boy, your heart skipped a beat. He was so effortlessly gorgeous.

"Same here, hope to have a good gym buddy relation with you two", Annie replied as you were lost in your reflection. Snapping yourself from your thoughts, you agreed with her.

After that y'all left the boys to let them do their previous activities and went to train yourselves. With your unfit body you were tired from the first exercise itself and was laying on the ground trying to catch your breath.

You failed to understand how could Mikasa and Annie keep going but you were not going to give up and decided to look at it as a new challenge for yourself.

Picking yourself up, you went to do something easy as a starter which was skipping ropes.

Little did you know that the blonde guy had been sneaking peeks at you from time to time smiling to himself.

One hour later, everyone decided to take a break to refuel their energy.

"So, what are we going to eat", you questioned.

" Why not soup? I've been craving miso soup for a while," Armin proposed, everyone settling on soup.

Getting into the car, Eren drove us to the nearest fast food restaurant. Inside you sat between Annie and Armin. Filled with anxiety of Armin being so close to you, you fidgeted with your hands to keep yourself stable. Armin noticed your restlessness and asked if you were okay but you couldn't possibly tell him that you were crushing hard on him so you just replied with a 'I'm fine' and concentrated on your food.

"What are your majors?" Eren asked you and Annie to make conversation.

"I am doing engineering and y/n's an art student explaining why she's so lazy", Annie responded.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Annie, I am not lazy", you said passive-aggressively looking at Annie with murder in your eyes.

"Says the girl who could barely run to take her phone from me yesterday", she coughed smirking.

"No- I - bye-", you stammered making Armin erupt into a fits of laughter. His laugh gave the impression as though angels came down on earth to bestow you with blessings which in this case was the cute sound of his voice. You didn't realise that you were staring at him until Armin spoke, "Is there something on my face?"

"Yes," you said casually swipping the little ketchup stain near his mouth with a tissue. His cheeks were a light pink colour because of your action and he thanked the heavens for not letting his friends noticing what just happened.

"Th-thank you", he bashfully thanked.

"Sure", you said looking away to hide your blush.

Finishing your meals, y'all returned to the gym to continue training then took your leave after two hours. Saying your byes to the boys, Mikasa gave you both a ride to your dorm.

Throwing your body on your bed you heaved a sigh of relief that you were able to survive this first day of going to the gym.

"Tired already y/n ? Too bad we're going to do this routine everyday", Annie commented.

"I guess time to fill the fridge with energy drinks", you jumped out of bed to buy bundles of different brands of said drink.

The only thing that would be keeping you going about working out was that you were able to see Armin everyday.

Due to your classes running late one day you reached the gym at 06 00 pm. Everyone was still there; you greeted them and went to use the treadmill. At around half past seven your friends were hungry and decided to go to a nearby takeout to bring food to the gym because you didn't want to come out of exhaustion.

"You guys go ahead, I would keep y/n company", Armin told them.

Soon you were left alone with Armin and not knowing what to say out of shyness you excused yourself to the bathroom.

There you freshened up yourself to make yourself look more presentable to your crush. Luck was in your stars as you were wearing leggings that gave your ass a nice curve with a matching colour sportsbra.

When you came out, you saw that Armin was missing. You assumed that he too went to the restroom and decided to do squats. A little while later the man indeed returned from the wc. His breath was caught in his throat when he saw you.

He came up to you and asked if you needed any help regarding your training.

"Actually I do, would you assist me in doing sit ups?" you requested.

"Yeah sure, I'll hold your shoes while you're doing them," Armin accepted.

Laying your body on the mat, you watched Armin going in front of you to your feet and held them down. You began to lift your body with your hands on the back of your head as you realised how close your faces were being when you were raised up. You never realised how broad his shoulders were until then and you gulped hard.

"How much do you plan on doing?" Armin asked.

"I'm setting a limit of thirty but let's see if I manage to exceed it." He nodded. Gosh, how does someone manage to look cute and hot at the same time?!

At your 15th sit-up you lifted up your body to make eye contact with him as you were with the previous sit-ups but this time it lasted longer because you stayed still. Both of you gazed into the eye of each other without saying a word your faces becoming closer. You didn't realise what you were doing. It wasn't long until both of your lips touched each other. When your senses were brought back to you, you pulled back so quickly. For a second you saw a frown on Armin's face.

"OMG! I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do this, I swear," you apologized frenzily.

"It's okay, I don't mind at all," Armin just chuckled at your reaction. He came closer and tucked your hair to your ear.

"Have you ever realised how beautiful you were?" he whispered in your ear making all your blood rush to your head.

"I - I- mmph," you were cut off by Armin

colliding his mouth with yours. He sucked on your lower lip asking permission to let his tongue enter your mouth. You opened it a little only for him to stuck in his whole muscle.

You left out a small moan feeling his tongue roaming everywhere while his hand untied your hair and was playing with it.

He had the most tender lips that you ever felt in your life. Giving you a forehead kiss, he held your face in his hands stroking it with his thumb.

You crawled to sit on his lap as he continued to shower you with affection. His head pats were so gentle, you were melting under his touch. He bowed to gain access to your neck and gave it a subtle lick and then proceeded to find your sweet spot kissing you everywhere. A small mewl left your lips when he kissed a certain spot. The man was proud of himself to have found it and attacked it with hickeys. At this point you were shaking on his thighs and in his embrace.

Your hands reached the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off him. His sweaty body glowed in the light yet he looked so heavenly. You couldn't help but lick his collarbones leaving your saliva on his skin.

The fear of getting caught by your friends during this sinful moment turned you on.

Armin's hand gave your ass a tender squeeze before making you lay your whole body on the mat as he left a trail of kisses from your neck your stomach. He grabbed your waist to kiss your on your bellybutton.

"Is it okay if I remove it?" he said hinting at your leggings. You lifted your lower body to help him remove it and threw it away. He gave your core a kiss then carried you in bridal style to place you on the bench press.

He spread your legs and buried his face between them. You wouldn't have never expected such an innocent face to do such unholy things to your body in your life. He sucked your clit which sent electrics all throughout your body. He ate you out as though you were the most tastiest meal he's ever had. You crushed his head with your thighs but he didn't seem to mind that as he continued doing his job. You were pulling his hair so hard screaming his name making sure people passing nearby could hear how good he was making you feel.

His soft hands ran through your thighs making small circle motions on them to soothe you.

"Ar-Armin, I-,"

"It's okay love you can spill it on my face, I want every single drop down my throat," Armin panted.

What he said set off a trigger and the knot in your stomach snapped. All your juices went on Armin's face and he ensured to have swallowed everything.

He retreated away from your opening swipping your cum with his fingers and licking them off. While you were collecting your breath, Armin took off his sweatpants and let his hardened dick free.

"Do you mind if I -," he insinuated with his dick at your entrance.

"Please Armin don't hesitate," you were practically begging him. You expected him to slide it in but instead he was stroking your folds with his swollen member. This felt so good it sent you in a rollercoaster of immense pleasure. You could feel his veins pulsating against your own pulsating clit.

While he was caressing your cunt, his hands went to grab your boobs and fondled them.

His up and down motion continued as he was mixing his precum with your wetness.

Your overwhelming neediness pushed you to grind on him as he was moving so slowly. With instinct you lifted your hips as shivers were sent through your spine. Noticing this Armin picked up speed and with his hand rubbed your clit hard. He bent over to give you a kiss on your nose then to make out with you.

"Ah-ah, y/n-I'm going to cum," Armin moaned.

"Cum with me Armin," you breathed.

Suddenly he picked up more speed and thrusted faster. His dick was moving so quick on you, the lewd sound of your pussy's liquids filled the gym. Armin held your hands and intertwined your fingers. He let out a grunt as he came on your stomach and you on the bench.

He looked at you with such love in his eyes and reached out to wipe your tears and kissed your hands.

He fetched your leggings while he also cleaned the bench leaving no marks of this incident. Since your legs were shaking so much you could barely walk, Armin carried you to the bathroom.

After you went to pee, he made you sit on a stool and he tied your hair back in a ponytail. Hugging you from the back he asked, "Are you feeling okay now beautiful or do you need anything?"

"Water?" you replied.

"Anything for you," he went to fetch the requested item.

Just at that moment your friends returned.

You thanked the universe for not making them arrive while you were making love with Armin and you kept your cool acting as though nothing happened.

Thus, this was the start of a wonderful relationship.

End.

Thank you for reading. :)

[yurtletheturtlehenderson]

COSMIC - S3:E1; Chapter One, Suzie, Do You Copy? - [Pt. 5 - FINAL]

A Will Byers x Reader Series

Summer brings new jobs and budding romance. But the mood shifts when Dustin’s radio picks up a Russian broadcast, and Will senses something is wrong.

a.n: thank you guys so much for waiting, I know it must have frustrating but I don't regret taking time off. FYI i ended up skipping some scenes like Hopper's talk with Mike and Joyce going home cause I just kept getting stuck

||𝟑𝐫𝐝 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐕||

Dustin is the first to reach the top of the hill, his sister, the last. And when she does, she hastily unhooks the bag from her shoulders, letting it fall to the ground before she does.

"We made it!" Dustin happily declares, choosing to ignore the bitter attitude of his cranky and overheated friends.

"Yeah, only took five hours." Max sighs, dumping her weight on the grass beside Y/n who buried her heated face in the cool grass.

"Quick," Y/n groaned, rolling herself over onto her back. "someone... water. I'm gonna be a raisin soon... please,"

Lucas's face lit up at the mention and instinctively he dropped the bag off of his shoulder and retrieved their shared canteen of water. Y/n's eyes fluttered closed and a frail smile strung across her face when she saw this. Lazily, she reached for it, expecting Lucas to hand her the refreshments she had asked for.

But a frown quickly flew across her face when she heard the flat splashing of water on grass and the obnoxious sound of guzzling. Hesitating against the downpour of golden sunlight into her eyesight, she allowed her eyelids to unscrew just enough to see Lucas downing the rest of the group's water.

Her lips drew back into a snarl, ready to chastise the boy, but her friend had beat her to the punch.

"Did you seriously just drink the rest of our water?" Max deadpans, her icy glare piercing Lucas.

"Nope," Answered Y/n from her spot on the grass, eyes peeling open again to scowl at Lucas. "I know for a fact he wouldn't do that, Max, cause that would mean I'd have to kick his ass."

Lucas cautiously met her eye, his puffed-out cheeks filled with water slowly drained themselves back into the canteen leaving behind a sheepish smile. He held out the container for Max, then Y/n as a peace offering. All he was met with were tired glowers.

"That's it. Your ass is grass, Sinclair," Y/n seethed, no real threat behind her words. Or her actions, as she showed no signs of moving other than the depleting motion of her tired heaving from her spot on the grass and a lazy pointed finger hanging in the air in his direction. It fell back to the ground. "You know, after I get up. The moment I do, it's over for you,"

Despite the creeping smirk, Max rolled her eyes at the duo as she grabbed for the duffle bag she had previously been carrying.

"Is it just me," she addresses the group as she unpacks, her mischievous smirk blossoming on her pink cheeks. "or has Y/n gotten meaner?"

Everyone shares a hum of laughter that floats amongst them, including Y/n who smiles to herself pleased, her eyes once again closed.

Unknowingly, Dustin does the same as he unpacks his duffle. A fleeting sense of deja vu passes over him.

"Yeah, it's my probably my fault," he says, beginning to put the first pieces of the Cerebro together. "all that time we spend with 'that douchebag' Steve Harrington,"

"Hey," pipes Y/n shortly. Thinking of the running joke that had started up earlier in the year thanks to Robin, her voice falls into a mocking tone. "don't talk about mom like that, Dustin."

Dustin gives her a funny look before ultimately rolling his eyes as she laughs quietly to herself. The sight drew a smile on Will's face and he briefly paused his unpacking to smile at her, then shook his head returning to work.

"Weirdo," Dustin mumbles. "Alright, sunbathing time is over. Come on. Get up and help us!"

It's Y/n's turn to roll her eyes and she does so with another impressive groan, though she does comply. She rolls herself over and sits herself up so she is sitting on her folded legs, and gets to work on the bag she had previously discarded.

What members of the party remain pull together underneath the setting sun and got to work. Under Dustin's word, the team was able to make quick work of the scraps they had lugged with them.

Lucas, Max, and Dustin took up the work of assembling the base of the radio antenna as Will and Y/n got to work dismantling several bare umbrellas for the makeshift directors. Dustin, who had been so engrossed in his work, had gotten to his third strip of tinfoil only to realize the roll was running thin and that Y/n had been sneaking strips to make various types of hats; one shaped like a baseball cap resting on her head, the second on Will's was shaped like a wizards cap to match Will the Wise, and a third, half-finished cowboy hat sat tucked away behind her back on the grass when Dustin's suspicions grew.

Dustin had learned better with the duct tape; keeping it on his person and only distributing it to those who asked. And he had been so caught up in it guarding the duck tape to avoid another incident he failed to stop the first.

After finishing her section of Cerebro, Y/n had gotten to work on her "side project", this one in the shape of a bucket hat for Max. Dustin tried to scold her again, but she knew they were just about one strip of duct tape away from finishing.

After some conniving on Max and Y/n's part—out of an act of spite, Max defiantly accepted the cap with honor as Y/n placed it on her head, both of them glaring at Dustin—the party came together to hoist the now finished Cerebro into the summer air.

"Pretty impressive, right?" Dustin declares as they all gaze up at their finished work.

Several of them nod.

"Now," he says, all but throwing himself on the grass beside the receiver. "ready to meet my love?"

Dustin is met with scattered agreement.

"Yeah,"

"Sure,"

"Go ahead,"

Y/n, however gladly takes a seat across from her brother, stretching herself out in the grass as she finally enjoys the absence of work in the sun. "Dustin, as your sister, I can honestly say that I have been waiting for this moment all my life. Fair warning though, I will be talking her ear off."

A hopeful grin touches Dustin, slowing blooming on his face. And despite her next words, he finds himself laughing a little.

"But I'm afraid I can't promise I won't be telling her anything and everything embarrassing about you."

His face falls flat, a hint of playfulness still lingering. And as he does so, Will gives into Y/n's lead and takes a seat beside her in the grass. Dustin only narrows his eyes at the pair.

"Telling you really was a mistake, wasn't it?"

Y/n breaks out in a devilish grin and she is unable to stop the quiet cackle that tumbles out of her, yet still it turns Will's insides to jelly. He, like his friends, had been watching the siblings' exchange with great amusement.

"Yes," she agrees, eagerly. "yes it was."

Dustin rolls his eyes before bringing the device up to his mouth, his fingers already on the speaker button.

"Suzie, this is Dustin. Do you copy? Over."

A silence falls over the group as they wait, the only sounds to fill it are the crackling of the Cerebro's interference and the sweet sounds of nature that put even Max at ease. But no response comes.

Dustin shrugs it off, scratching his nose nervously as he mutters softly up to his waiting friends.

"One sec. She's probably... She's still there," he smiles, turning back to the speaker in his hand. "Suzie... This is Dustin. Do you copy? Over."

The others begin to shift uncomfortably where they stand; the awkward tension growing heavy in the air and they share uneasy glances outside of Dustin's field of vision.

"I'm sure she's there," says Dustin, his voice so soft and quiet it was nearly carried away by the breeze. "You know, maybe, she's just like, busy or--"

"Yeah," Lucas quickly agrees, avoiding eye contact and adjusting his cowboy hat.

"You know, it's around dinner time."

Everyone is quick to mumble an agreement, and Y/n, desperate for something to keep her busy and her mind off of whatever was happening mindlessly pulled a pack of gum from her pockets. Her eyes were fixed on a random spot in the grass as she unwrapped a bit of f/f gum and slipped into her mouth. Before putting the packet back, she just as mindlessly pulls another slip and offers one to Max who gladly accepts.

"Suzie," Dustin tries again. "this is Dustin. Do you copy? Over."

Will watched Dustin continue his efforts to contact his girlfriend and couldn't help but note the bit of sadness growing in his chest at the sight. Dustin seemed so hopeful, and to see—

The spiraling thought was interrupted when he felt something move his hair; he smiled when he realized Y/n was readjusting the tinfoil wizard's cap on his head that had been slipping. He breathed a quiet laugh, watching her lips twitch up in a smile as she readjusts a few strands of hair she had messed up

"Suzie, do you copy? This is Dustin. Over."

⊹ ⊹ ⊹

"...do you copy? Over."

The summer moonlight spilled out onto the hill still occupied by five of seven party members; Max and Lucas, who lie on their backs side by side as they stargaze together while Dustin was still at Cerebro. Will—like his friends—wanted to make most of the scenery and found himself sprawled on his back in the grass. The back of his head was resting on Y/n's leg as she mindlessly played with his hair, her stare a million miles away. His eyes began to flutter closed having grown content by her warm and soothing touch.

"Suzie! This is Dustin, do you copy? Over."

The breeze picked up in a pleasant wave, making the trees sing around them. And it was gentle enough to pull Y/n from her thoughts, and back on her brother.

"Suzie, this is your Dustin. Do you copy? Over."

It dawned on her just how hard it was to see him in the darkness, and it hit her just how long they had been there. As her fingers continued to fiddle with Will's bangs, her downcast eyes landed on his face; the sight of him in a state of such relaxation put a smile on her face and a warm feeling in her chest.

He had been through so much for so long and was given so little time to readjust. This was one of the many reasons she enjoyed planning campaigns with him; he was always in his element, supercharged and bursting with ideas. That is when he could manage not to lose concentration whenever a love song came on the radio that didn't make him all dopey and lovesick.

At the thought, Y/n felt a heat creep all over her skin as it always did whenever she thought about Will—but she knew it had nothing to do with her powers. It was just Will. And his innate ability to lift her spirits higher than the skyline while simultaneously bringing her back down to earth; A superpower all his own.

Just as it had happened only just the other night with Will, the lovesick gaze holding her hostage was broken when the other took notice.

"What?" Will whispered up to her in a funny smile.

The softness in his voice pulled Y/n back down and into reality where she was faced with the embarrassing truth of being caught. She shook her head with a simper, a mischievous idea blooming in her mind as one hand crept out of sight and curled around the discarded tinfoil hat he placed in the grass.

"Nothing," she whispered, shrugging. Y/n scrunched her nose as she put on a silly look of fake disgust. "Just getting tired of this ugly mug is all,"

She placed the tinfoil hat over his face where it wobbled, threatening to fall. Y/n smiled again, breathing a laugh through her nose as he laid there still. Oh, so easily she could imagine the unimpressed look now plastered on his face.

"Funny," came his muffled, echoed response.

"Right?"

"Suzie, this is—"

"Dustin!" Cried Max suddenly. Her frustration had been growing with every call and it was a wonder she hadn't broken yet. "Come on! She isn't there."

"She's there, alright?" Dustin argued. "She'll pick up,"

Will craned his head up to look at the disturbance and in doing so sent the tinfoil dunce cap tumbling off his face and back into the grass.

"Maybe Cerebro isn't working?" Will offered.

"Or maybe Suzie doesn't exist," wondered a greatly agitated Lucas.

"She exists!" Dustin defended, the pitch of his voice rising as he got more defensive.

"She's a genius AND she's hotter than Phoebe Cates?" Lucas countered. "No girl is that perfect."

Max shot up from her spot in the grass and cast down a look at her boyfriend.

"Is that so?"

Lucas is quick to back peddle and throws himself into a sitting position with a growing look of concern.

"I mean," Lucas stammers. "you're perfect. I mean, you-you're per—I mean like you're perfect in your special way—you're own special way."

Max finally releases the laugh she had been holding in and shakes her head. "Relax, I was teasing. I'm obviously perfect and Dustin is obviously lying."

"Max," Y/n sighs. Her eyes flickering sympathetically to her brother who is downcast.

But Max doesn't think much of it and climbs to her feet. She throws her hand out for Lucas to take and pulls him to his feet. "Come on, Don Juan."

Together they start down the hill, prompting the final couple remaining to follow as they pick up the pieces left behind.

"Where are you going?" Dustin calls out to Max and Lucas.

The redhead barely throws a look over her shoulders as they retreat. "Home,"

Y/n watches with great disappointment as they retreat down the hill. She finally broke away when Will offered his hand from where he was standing.

"Well, guess it's just us," says Dustin longingly, not yet realizing they too were heading out.

"Um," he checks his watch, wincing at the timing. Like his girlfriend, he sends Dustin an apologetic look. "it's late. I'm sorry."

Dustin doesn't bother to hide his disappointment, but Will perks up with a hopeful smile. "But maybe tomorrow we can play D&D?" He flashes a smile to Y/n. "We've been working on a campaign lately. We've been dying to show you, we think you'd like it."

Y/n nods eagerly. "Yeah, and maybe you can tell us more about Suzie?"

"Yeah," Her brother nods, sad eyes still locked on the grass and limply his shoulders rise in a shrug. "sure."

Will tries again, giving his friend an earnest smile. "Welcome home,"

Dustin nods again and Will begins down the hill. He looks back when Y/n's hand slips out of his own to see her lingering. "I'll catch up in a minute,"

Will nods and starts after his friends leaving the Henderson siblings alone. Dustin is the first to break the ice, his voice sullen.

"She is real, you know," he mumbles, head nearly sagging all the way to the grass.

"I believe you, Dustin," says Y/n. She gestures to Will's retreating form with a gentle smile. "We both do."

His mood doesn't lift but Dustin's gaze does curiously. He's surprised to find nothing but sincerity in her eyes.

"I'm sorry about today. I really am. We were really looking forward to it," pessimism flashes across her face. "well, I know Will and I were."

"Is that why you guys are leaving?" He can't help but ask bitterly, making Y/n frown.

"You know it's not like that," subconsciously she starts fiddling with her watch to take away from the worry that had been growing all day. Her gaze stays on Will and the longer it does the more obvious it is she's scared. "It really is getting late and... Well, honestly I think something's bothering him. Like there's something he's not telling me. I don't know, it could be nothing but I'd feel better if I saw him home."

"I guess I can't blame you for being careful with him. I just— I guess I pictured today going a lot differently."

Y/n nods. "I did too."

A small silence falls between them. It's filled with nothing but unsaid words and the melodic choir of crickets singing to the night sky.

"For what it's worth, I know I've been teasing you pretty bad but... I am really excited to meet Suzie. I'm sure she's great,"

"Thanks," For the first time since before the sun had set, Dustin's lips hook upward in a threat to smile. "She is..."

"Get home safe, Romeo," Y/n quips. When he sends her a soft 'you too' she decides it's gotten too chummy and impulsively she yanks his hat over his eyes, chuckling at the look on his face.

Dustin chuckles under his breath and eagerly fixes his hat just in time to watch Y/n scurry down the hill to catch up with Will.

"You too," he mumbles more to himself than anything.

He watches as Y/n casts one apologetic look over her shoulder and that's that. He now stands alone on the hill next to the homemade radio tower, watching sadly as everyone leaves. It's nearly enough to break the dam of tears he can feel collecting in his eyes but he perseveres.

And nearly jumps out of his skin when the transceiver comes to life. It angrily spits out static and Dustin throws himself to the ground, making a grab for the speaker.

"Suzie? Suzie is that you?"

A voice can be heard here and there; not the voice of his beloved Suzie but much deeper, and unmistakably Russain. He snaps himself out of his daze and makes quick work of doing his best to clear the interference. His assessment was right; the voice was Russian, and it calmly spoke a string of words he wished desperately to understand. And yet, no matter how confusing, he can't help but feel his skin crawl with excitement when he realizes...

Cerebro had just intercepted a top-secret Russian transmission. Arguably the most vital piece in the puzzle of what would come to be known as the most important summer of their young lives.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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Deconstructing Baseless Harry Potter Arguments#2 (i) : Harmione Edition

Obviously I once again do not mean to target all Harmione shippers. I know quite a few who're very good human beings and tolerant and accepting above all. However these aren't. In this case, you might sense quite a bit of levelheadedness in the beginning, however you must not be fooled as it goes south and takes a nasty turn very quickly. Don't get your hopes up, this is some of the worst shit I've ever seen, especially the way in which it progresses through its course. Naturally, for this post I have picked my own style of writing which will match that of those redditors. Reddit is the perfect breeding ground for all these weird cults, honestly. I shall be resorting to a formal language and style of conversation, very much like a debater would to sound as pretentious as these do. These posts are found on the instagram handle toxicharmonyshippers who gather such toxic musings and sayings for Harmione shippers while respecting the ones that are nice.

1)

Oh yes, let's use words like 'vehemently' to sound smart, why not? Of course, this little tidbit of the highly stupendous post seems more or less civil at the start. They also have the common decency to say "some Romione shippers" rather than generalizing all of us. Very nice of you, how very saint like. Let's wait till they drop the act and show us their true colors. Harkening back to the argument, I have but one question for you, "where do you find these people?". Where's the proof? Who are these radical Romione shippers who worship Ron and dislike Hermione? I haven't seen any such shippers and I am surrounded by Romione shippers on tumblr, instagram and fan fiction sites as well and haven't met the people you speak of. Some point out her flaws, yes, but no one hates her or dislikes her that much. I have seen two or three Romione shippers across hundreds and thousands who're skeptical of Hermione's perfection. Skeptical. Not hating, disliking, or anything. Of course, unlike this person, I have evidence: find these pi charts for your referral (clickable): https://imgur.com/a/QfPnQbB

you can, through these, see the amount of Hermione bashing across Harry Potter fanfiction and you can see that even in Romione fanfiction there's more Ron bashing. Hermione-bashing is a non-issue. That's what it is. Regarding the "nagging" statement, where's the lie in that? "Annoying" is somewhat subjective, I personally don't find her annoying at all. Who are these people and how often do you find them? "Mary Sue" is only reserved for Movie!Hermione. I have only seen book fans call her that. No one has ever called Book!Hermione Mary Sue. The movie does paint her as a flawless, all-rounder who's also drop-dead gorgeous. Only things she's bad at are flying and divination, all of which she denounces as useless, even though flying is like biking for wizards, divination, sure, not that important. with a teacher like Trelawney, even I would denounce it as hokum.

2)

Remember what I said about waiting for them to show us their true colors, well here they are. Bask in the glory of their senseless arguments. Why, I am from reddit, heck I have 25 thousand karma points on there, I just left because it was too stupid for me but I can argue like them very well. And in this case I would like to say that these people are under the impression that Ron is just there in the story for the sake of existence. And he doesn't work hard. That argument is of course, wrong. Because Ron (in no particular order):

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

now since I have 8 more such pictures to rebut and I do have a life, I will stop. These aren't even a twelfth of the remarkable things Ron has done though, so rest assured.

oh wait what did you say about him just existing and not working for anything? If I recall correctly, he did just as well as Harry did in school and didn't score well only in subjects he didn't care about. Which is true for most people except for Hermione who has an eidetic memory which not everyone has, understandably. Rote memorization is not the best way to get by in life, by the way.

what are the "so many reasons" behind why Harry is the best fit for Hermione? Kindly share so I can rebut those too, I'm rather free nowadays, my finals have been cancelled. You say there are so many reasons but don't even give one, yet you want me to take you seriously. I'm afraid that's impossible.

Romione shipper here, i don't dislike Hermione. I haven't met or seen many people in the book!romione fandom who dislike Hermione (except for Movie!Hermione). The question of someone you like ending up with someone you dislike doesn't particularly make sense. In Friends, Chandler ends up with Monica: now I'm not the biggest Monica fan (I don't hate her but I don't like her very much either) but they are my favorite couple because they make sense. It's about compatibility and character traits, not liking or disliking because that's just a set-up for a ghastly invitation for people to pair up hideousness. "Oh yeah, I like Harry and I also like Hagrid, they should be together. I mean it would be very very disgusting but that's my logic, now, you can't fight it. "- that's how you sound. Please read what you write. Your logic is just...abysmal. That's all I can say without breaking my resolve and berating you with colorful profanities.

3)

This is without the doubt, the easiest one to rebut. It's a delight to see such terrible arguments at my disposal. Come on, dear Harmione shippers, write something that makes me question my choices, not things that make me scoff in disbelief.

In this case, you're essentially providing us with theories. Unproved theories and speculation of what you believe because you'd say anything you like. Where's the proof of your theory, though? Where is that crazy radical Romione shipper who does this? Kindly show me these people. Oh yes, you wanna say we objectify Hermione and disrespect her and view her as a prize. This aches me, that you believe this. No one has ever insinuated this, ever, in the history of anything. What is this winner-loser theory? How do you round off Harry Potter to "an alpha-male ends up with lead-lady" trope and still say you're a fan of the series? Harry Potter doesn't fit in with that format. Ron, Hermione and Harry are co-heroes. Similar to how there's no main character in Friends or the Heroes of Olympus series or the Avengers. We're not living in the 80s anymore. Hermione will be a hero, invariably whether she ends up with Harry, Ron or no one. She ends up with Ron and that's it. Talking about her like this doesn't make you sound any better either. Now you're calling me a misogynist because I don't support the ship of two people who describe themselves as siblings. That's very mature of you. Well here's the thing- I'm not a misogynist. It's as simple as that. I believe that women are capable of anything and everything. I believe Hermione is an amazing person and she is a hero and a different person. I believe the series would be impossible without her. I believe she is no one's prize. There's no requirement of a prize. I just think, similar to canon and the truth and her romantic interest, she will have a great relationship with Ron. There's nothing complex or deep about it, really. No personal weird-thing, no psychological complex, no internalized misogyny. There's nothing deeper than what I said. I am not sexist. I am a feminist. I am all for women empowerment. I love women with the fabric of my being. I love Hermione. I think she's amazing. You only become sexist when you ship people with unstable power dynamics, a bully-victim relation or something of the sort. Neither Romione, nor Harmione are sexist. Heck if you paired Neville with Hermione you wouldn't be sexist. And I hate talking about this so much, I can't even tell you. This talk does make it sound like I treat Hermione like an object and I assure you I respect her and I normally won't talk like this unless someone just outright calls me sexist for something that's not sexist. And this is that situation.

4)

in the case of Romione, no one is too good for anyone. Both are amazing people who're heroes and have done amazing work. That's all I have to say. There's no league, they are romantically interested in each other. I have no intention on sounding lame, but, in love there is no league. As long as you're not putting in any effort and are extremely lazy and leech off of your partner, there is no such concept and no, Hermione is not "too good" for him. Unless of course you're talking about movie Hermione, who is too good for anyone.

5) (halftime!)

oh yes they try to pull this off and wonder why we hate them. Classic. This person likes to sound british, so let's switch up our language, yeah? At least then I won't be out of my element. Let me correct ya, Ron at his best is an amazing, loyal, friendly, brave, strategic hero. There you have it. Ron and 'git' can't be used in the same sentence. Now if you talk about Ron's achievements, I re-iterate you to point two. If it's too much work, here:

1) fights a troll when he's 11

2) is willing to sacrifice himself when he's 11

3) stands up for his friends

4) makes sure Harry feels like he belongs in the family

5) worries about Harry and rescues him from literal jail

6) stands up against Draco rather than by-standing and enabling his behavior

7) tries his level best to make sure Norbert the dragon is in safe hands and carries it out, albeit not in perfection

8) is with Harry every step of the way in his confronting the basilisk

9) sends Harry and Hermione long letters and calls them often to check up on them

10) stands up on a bitten leg to defend his best friend

11) always apologizes for any of his mistakes and is forgiving when others wrong him

12) works his way to join the Quidditch team unlike Draco who most certainly bought his way in

13) destroys at least 2 horcruxes

14) finds out how to defeat a horcrux

15) has an excellent enough memory and observation to notice Harry speaking parseltongue and also using it to his benefit which proves he's resourceful

hey, see, I like Ron and I took the time to copy-paste this instead of asking you to scroll up. And I'm a lot of bad things but I am not lazy. I stick to my deadlines like Hermione. I start my homework in library class and continue it during phys ed the day its given. And I am not exaggerating. Bloody hell, I wish I was. I'm the ceo of deadlines, mate, don't tempt me! So you can see that Ron is much more than just a "nice bloke". And being a "nice bloke" isn't a bad thing either. He's all the things I said: intuitive, strategic, helpful, loyal and on top of that he's also a nice person. Yes, I do see a bit of myself in Ron. I do. I see the insecure side. I waste my time hating myself and criticizing myself and undermining myself, telling me I'm no good. But Ron overcomes that. He inspires me to appreciate myself. Is that a bad thing? Are you going to shame me for having a low self-esteem? Do you want to worsen my low self-esteem and make me feel more like shit?

Now the person who replied to your comment saying, "he isn't a nice bloke most of time.", he is. He is not being nice twice in a span of 7 years. How often do you act rudely or with jealousy? Wasn't Harry yelling at everyone in caps lock in OOTP. Now I don't condemn him for that because he's a fucking hormonal teenager like me and that would make me a hypocrite, but by your logic why don't you condemn him? Or why not condemn Hermione for saying "I only date good Quidditch players" and shoving canaries at Ron's face because someone else kissed him, while she kept using Krum and Cormac to make him jealous. She wasn't being a nice girl, then, was she? Now, once again, i don't dislike her or hold that against her because guess what, mate, I'm a hormonal teenage girl who gets jealous most of the time and would probably react in a similar fashion in the spur of the moment (Not defending her actions here, just putting myself in her shoes.) In short, Ron is a nice bloke MOST OF THE TIME.

6)

It would be misogynistic to think that. The thing is, NO ONE DOES my dear friend! My dear daft friend. I have never heard anyone say that! why are you so hell-bent on portraying us as misogynists when no one ever says that? Stop assuming. Just stop. You are crossing a limit here, aren't you? Yes you are. You cannot say these sort of things. We never said that or believed that, no one ever said this to be a reason to ship Romione. God what is wrong with you? Literally, stop fucking ASSUMING god damn it! Do you want me to assume things about Harmione shippers? Do you want me to go there? Because I will go there! I will go there the moment you tell me to. Just challenge me.

Ron is not a perfect best boi , the reason why so many of us like him is that he's imperfect and tries to become better through the course of time. You are once again assuming and I am once again asking you to stop.

Ron might be an ordinary wizard. He might be poor, sure, but he's a pure-blood and won't face much if he chose not to fight. But he did. He fought. Now I identify with Ron's attitude a fair bit, but I am also likely to spend my day in a library without noticing. People aren't one dimensional. Stop trying to act like you're a psychologist, i know you're not. I don't even think Hermione's overbearing at all! You just insulted someone you're a big fan of. Jesus.

Both Hermione and Ron are strategic, jealous, passionate, feisty, argumentative, intellectual...

that's like 6 similarities. They aren't polar opposites in the slightest. Their differences are just: workaholic, not workaholic. Nerd, not a nerd. Like that's fucking it, man!

8)

being relaxed doesn't make you less independent or driven. A relaxed and levelheaded Hermione will think through things, not be impulsive, not panic etc. She doesn't need Ron. I don't understand your obsession with acting like we ever insinuated that. Then she doesn't need Harry either lol. Stop shipping her with Harry, then or like shut the fuck up. Being a bit relaxed won't stop her or anyone from hitting great strides. Just don't get relaxed to the point you're lazy and casual about everything, that's it.

9)

What do you mean? Ron is balanced. He does finish his work on time. And even if he does procrastinate, she could also help him not and be more driven. Of course, this is an open invitation for you to call me a sexist bitch because I said that she could help him and now you'll think her goal is to help him become better yada yada yada. Fuck off. Defeating the horcrux taught him enough. He respected her. He remembered about the elves when she didn't. He begged to be tortured instead of her. He wouldn't need it because school work and jobs are different and the same person might perceive those differently. Calmness and relaxation doesn't hinder your potential. Not caring and laziness does. You can't function if you work and are stressed 24/7 with zero breaks. Period.

10)

No i do not want (nor does anyone want) Hermione to become Ron. Being slightly calmer doesn't change up your personality. I'm sure many people dislike those sort of fanfics without a doubt. I hate OOC and I don't want Hermione to lose her intellect with Ron because that makes no sense. Ron himself is intellectual and loves arguing with her. They'd boost each other, more like it.

-------

okay thats it i am exhausted as fuck. thanks for reading, i appreciate it. notes and reblogs are appreciated, this takes work.

[lunarfly]

Defending Harmione part 3!

I'm back to defend my fav ship!

I have a part 1 where I debunked some of the most popular arguments against Harmione and in part 2 I debunked the "siblings" argument. Time for part 3! This one is going to be about a video on YouTube titled "Why Harry and Hermione Wouldn't Work - Harry Potter Video Essay" and I'll go over the points the YouTuber made and try my best to debunk them. 💘

Also, I accept that there's still a few minor flaws to the ship, but these little flaws and obstacles make every ship beautiful. 🥀

1. "It would be too cliche. The hero gets the smartest and prettiest girl as a trophy."

This is a fair argument to the whole story itself, but it doesn't defeat the ship in any way. If you put it in other words: "Harry and Hermione wouldn't work together because they're both very powerful and great and that would make it very cliche." That's silly. But even that isn't right. The situation isn't exactly how people make it seem.

Hermione isn't the all-perfect girl, the most beautiful, the most intelligent, everything perfect. She has flaws, many flaws (which weren't portrayed in the movies) and she is a very realistic character. She is intelligent and productive, she is a perfectionist in a way, but that also causes her to be very anxious and stressed out at moments, she puts too much pressure on herself, and she's also insecure! Who said Hermione was the most beautiful one? Just because Emma Watson was gorgeous doesn't mean Hermione was too. Of course, Harry thought she was pretty according to OotP, but it's clearly stated in the books that she wasn't the prettiest girl in the series. Fleur, Cho and even Ginny were much more beautiful. Hermione is NOT the perfect superstar.

You might say that even if she's not perfect, she's still the female lead. But the actual "cliche" part is about the hero ending up with the perfect superstar and not necessarily with the other lead hero.

So back to Hermione being the brightest witch of her age. But her being very bright and powerful doesn't make her a bad match for Harry. Ginny was very smart in fact, she was beautiful and funny, very sassy and confident. Why isn't she considered as a trophy for Harry?

The point is, NO, Hermione is NOT a perfect all-star and their relationship wouldn't even have to be built on the hero and the heroine being perfect, their relationship would be built on trust and loyalty.

2. "Harry and Hermione's relationship prove that a male and a female can be friends without having a romantic relationship, so we shouldn't ruin that."

Yes, it's truly a beautiful demonstration that a male and a female can be best friends, but this says nothing that's actually against the ship, just like the previous one. If you put this in other words, it would sound like this: "Harry and Hermione were amazing best friends so they can't date." I understand that their friendship was amazing, but that in no way means their relationship would be bad. Of course, you don't have to see their relationship as romantic just because they were good friends, you can see it as platonic, but I'm just saying that the argument makes no sense.

Besides, was Hermione really the only female friend Harry had? What about Luna? What about Ginny (if you consider Harry and Hermione start dating and Ginny remains a friend, she was clearly very included after OoTP)? What about Ron's friendship with Hermione? What about Ron and Luna's friendship? What about Neville and Luna's friendship? What about Harry's quidditch teammates (Alicia, Katie, Angelina)? Why does everyone always make it seem like Hermione was the only female friend he had? Surely she was his only BEST friend but then Ron and Hermione were best friends too...

3. "It ruins the dynamic of the story. Harry's relationships were never meant to be the main focus, just a demonstration of his maturity. While Ron and Hermione's relationship developing in the background is nice to see."

I really didn't want to drag Romione into this because it's my second favorite ship from the entire Harry Potter universe. Just a disclaimer that anything I say here is not meant to bash Romione and hate on it because I'm truly a big fan of them and their love is undeniable.

I also mention Ginny and Harry's relationship in this and I have to say they're ALSO one of my favorite ships in the entire hp universe so no hate to them either. 🥺

Okay, so, basically every point he made in his video was about the story and not their actual relationship. The title is wrong, this doesn't show why Harry and Hermione wouldn't work, he's just saying how it would change the storyline. But I think we are all already aware that Harry and Hermione getting together would change a lot in the story. But I'll go over it anyways.

First of all, I don't entirely agree that Harry's relationships weren't the main focus, I mean half of the half-blood prince was about him developing feelings for Ginny-

But anyways, if Harry and Hermione were going to end up together, it would still happen in a similar way. We have all read the beautiful moments they shared together throughout the books, and those would've been enough for them to develop their feelings, but just not realize it until the last 2 books. We wouldn't have to add in any scenes that would change the story massively to lead them to falling in love, honestly, we had enough already in the books. So the only thing that would change would be probably Harry not developing feelings for Ginny, but instead slowly realizing his feelings for Hermione. Simple!

And as for Romione, I agree, the slowburn was beautiful, but we could've had the same thing, same development but as a friendship! Ron's character arc is one of my favorite things about the series and nobody can convince me that it wasn't amazing. Instead of Ron changing for Hermione to become her lover, we could have Ron changing for her to become a better friend. His character arc remains the same and Ron Hermione become best friends. Of course this would change many scenes and the storyline would've changed a lot as I already mentioned, but hey! At least we wouldn't have Ron haters who bash him for mAkInG hErMiOnE cRy. 🤡 And JKR could add different scenes instead of the ones hinting at Ron and Hermione's romantic relationship. We still would have had a beautiful story with a VERY SIMILAR dynamic.

4. "Harry wasn't the kind of guy Hermione was looking for. She already made a mistake with dating Viktor Krum, and she realized she didn't need a hero. She was a hero herself. Although Harry ≠ Viktor, they have very similar qualities like: bravery, loyalty and they are both heroes."

This is probably the best argument of the entire *almost* 5 minute video.

But there's still so much wrong with this.

Bravery and loyalty are literally Ron's best traits lmao. That's exactly why she chose him. 🤣 Every Romione shipper knows she doesn't value intelligence and looks, she values bravery, courage, loyalty. That's exactly what she said in the first book and stuck by it until the end.

She didn't need a hero? She was a hero herself? - Then why are we forgetting that Ron was also a hero? Everyone always makes it seem like Harry and Hermione are the mighty heroes and Ron is their goofy sidekick. He was also a hero! I believe he is even on the chocolate frog cards (correct me if I'm wrong)! And we all know that's the biggest flex. 😌

But besides that, Ron and Harry are very similar in many ways. They're both brave, they're both loyal, they both like to have fun, they're both lazy, they're both amazing at quidditch, they're both talented (Harry is very powerful and he's good at DADA, while Ron can do many impressive things like mimic voices and come up with quick solutions even when he's under pressure and his life depends on it!). So if Hermione liked one and thought he was her "type", then there's a hight possibility she liked the other too. In canon, she only likes Ron obviously, but I'm saying that since Ron and Harry are so similar and share the same traits, Hermione could've chosen Harry too.

Anyways, that's all that the video included, it was very nice hearing different opinions and I actually wasn't writing this out of anger like I wrote the post about defending Romione against *the ridiculously stupid* arguments that Dr*mione shippers like to use.

Once again, if it isn't clear, I STAN both Romione and Hinny, but Harmione definitely could've worked. :)

Thanks for reading! ~ Lia <3

Art: Asha47110 on DeviantArt :)

[crispie-art]

Miraculous Ladybug Season 4 Episode 2 "The Luka Episode" - An Analysis of Luka Couffaine

My first impression of Luka was a guy who was about as interesting as sandbag who liked Marinette, interacted with no one else, and the only reason he was liked was because of his e-boy/sensitive/soft-boy appearance. I preferred Kagami way more than him, since it felt like her and Adrien had really good chemistry, and also she had a lot of character development for her episodes. I'm assuming in order to give more depth to Luka, the writers decided that Luka was going to get a few episodes as well, and...I think I'm starting to like him a lot as a character.

One thing that Luka was missing in my opinion was identity. In many episodes it felt like he was just kinda there to fulfil the new Marinette love interest since Adrien got one. All I saw was a guy who was obsessed with music, and that was it. He was more of an archetype than anything to me. Even the episode 'Silencer' didn't do much to convince me that he was interesting because it was just music and Marinette again. He was barely given the time he needed in the season he was introduced, and the few tidbits we see of him gave off a feeling of a chill guy with not much going on in his life.

My criticism of Luka was 100% too harsh, but I will say that he was not given the attention that should have been given to a new character. Take Toph for example, she had a lot of time to assimilate herself with the 'new group of friends' and had a fascinating introduction. They used what was interesting about Toph, her earth-bending skills and the quiet-girl persona that she had in front of her parents, to help us be excited for her character arc.

How I would've structured Luka's introduction is if Marinette saw the first thing that he did was play music in front of a crowd. The passion he showed for music is one of his defining traits. If he were a bit more lazy and too-lax off-stage, and was introduced to Marinette by Juleka, that would create an interesting juxtaposition for his character and make him more likeable. The way I see it is, a character can only become interesting and relatable to the viewer when they show flaws or are in conflict somehow. Miraculous Ladybug rarely uses the first anymore and always uses the latter. Conflict is way easier to deal with than character flaws when every episode needs to have an akuma. Since character flaws need to be resolved and change the character.

Now onto the episode:

One thing I will say about this episode is that Luka has become vulnerable. And I love it. Vulnerability is kinda what we needed from Luka since he always seems like a stable, well put-together kind of guy. If his nonchalance was better-expressed and given more screen-time in earlier episodes, this vulnerability could have had a really, really great effect. Unfortunately, that didn't happen, and I'm not letting the writers get off scot-free for giving us Stormy Weather 2 instead of focusing on the new characters they had.

This episode makes it really easy for you to feel sorry for Luka, since he seems like the type to bear the weight of emotions and hardly express himself to others. He knows for a fact that Marinette is still in love with Adrien despite dating him, since literally everyone in town knows and he still has to pretend as if he doesn't care.

(Side note: I'm really curious on what Adrien would have said Marinette's secret was if Truth asked him.)

She comes late to every date they've had, skipped it, and hardly gives him any time. And finally, when he tries to open up to her in the most authentic way and probably most emotional way, talking about his abandoned father, she is still unable to tell him the truth, whatever it is. I love what they used with the melody under the bridge - it's a smart idea and fits his character really well.

It's really obvious that Luka has a lot of patience with Marinette, and even that is wearing thin. A part of me wanted him to just break up with her already, but then again he's a love-struck 17yr old who loves Marinette, so his simpiness makes sense here. The problem I have with this is that it makes Marinette look like a real jerk, which is not a good look for the show. Breaking-up was probably the right thing to do at the end, but it feels like taking responsibility and leaving her friends behind for her superhero stuff is a problem that Marinette could have had and dealt with in earlier seasons.

This abandoned father plot-line like I mentioned before is really, really out of nowhere, I don't like it. Now, the idea of an unknown father is nothing new, like South Park did it more than two decades ago, but the issue is that it's resolved way too quickly. I literally laughed when Luka's mother straight up said it's Jagged Stone between the five minutes he told Marinette he was searching for his father and his mother telling him as a villain. It honestly felt like parody or an abridged episode.

There's no explanation as to why his mother kept this as a secret from him, and the explanation the Jagged gave was half-assed, and wasn't worth being forgiven for that quickly. I really expected this to be some interesting drawn out Pretty Little Liars type mystery where fan theories would be stewing for a while, but they nipped it in the bud pretty quickly. Which is really, really annoying. Luka hasn't had a motivation like this before, he was a chill side character, but when they finally gave him one, they ripped it away from him in a matter of minutes. And since Marinette is hardly involved with Luka anymore, I'm going to find it difficult to believe that we'll see Luka and Jagged hang out that much anymore. What I'm assuming is going to happen is it's either gonna be Jagged akumatised because of some dumb conflict between their relationship or we'll see bits of their father-son relationship in the background now and then. Also what about Juleka? Is she Jagged's child too or is she Luka's step-sister?

Everything here is resolved way too quickly, to an unreasonable degree, and it follows back to a general problem I've had with the series - the plot is way too dense to allow for an akuma every episode or be this formulaic.

Fighting scenes need to be cut down more, or the akuma should just not be there because if the episode is too formulaic, we don't get the character moments that we needed. This release schedule is also, I can tell, a really big problem for the writers, and would have me ripping my hair out if I was writing this show. Because let's take this Luka thing as an example. If it was intended that Luka have a secret abandoned father that no one knew about and was revealed as being Jagged Stone in later episodes, what if that reveal episode was released before the episode where Luka confides in Marinette that he wants to search for his father?

While I do kinda wish Luka could get more development, I find it hard to believe it will happen unless he becomes Viper again. Same with Kagami. Since the show is entirely centred around Marinette, unless Marinette interacts with side-characters, they won't get development, albeit from some rare scenes. And that's not always such a great idea. Sometimes you need the side-characters to feel alive, to feel like they do what they want as well. We need scenes or even episodes sometimes without Marinette.

It's not always about her, and Marinette needs to learn that as soon as possible, because they kinda butchered her character this episode.

[13eyond13]

Thank you very much for taking the time to reply! Don't worry, you didn't have to reread or rewatch anything, your replies were great nonetheless (btw, I spent a whole night reading the manga and a few hours of the day, so it wasn't impressive at all, it took a lot of time).

I agree with your reading of how and why Light treats her as he does. And I had a lot of fun with the hypothetical situations about how it could have been done you came up with! I really like the first two, where there's deceiving on her part. That could have been both very entertaining and satisfying to read. Yet I loved the third situation, about Takada changing her mind! I liked that it potentially focused more on personal moral reasons than emotional-related-to-Light ones. It also seems easier to fit and more consistent with Ohba's writing I think, and I loved how it played still with the parallelism between Takada and Light. I liked the idea of how after the meltdown both could have ended up taking very different paths. It would rise questions about why that is, about the differences between their personalities and morals, but also whether their ages could have had a say in their ultimate decision, which is something actually both L and Light brought up in the beginning, but now under a different light. I don't know, I just find it would have been a situation very coherent with Ohba's writing and very interesting, and I liked that it had still a bit of not everyone being absolute and blindly charmed by Light. Though maybe Ohba would have written her as not carrying on with the deed because of weakness...

Anyway, I'm talking a lot already, sorry. Again, thank you very much again for taking the time to reply, and for reading that other too long message, there was no need at all. I hope you're feeling better now. And I hope you're enjoying the new things you're reading and watching! I'm half tempted to ask, but that seems overly personal. Revealing what we love is very intimate, after all.

You're welcome 😁 And it's ok to ask about the other media! I gave myself the task of watching hundreds of new movies and reading at least 75 new books this year, since I'm working from home at a boring job and having to be pretty indoorsy most of the year due to the pandemic anyway. So far in the first half of 2021 I've read 36 new books and watched 155 new movies. I'm picking my way through the Beastars manga and Hunter x Hunter manga, as well as reading lots of novels and nonfiction. I developed a big writer crush on Patricia Highsmith back in like February and binged a bunch of her books, so they've been the biggest highlight of the new 2021 reading for me thus far. I've been watching some new shows too, even though I'm normally too lazy for finishing shows... Watched Invincible season 1 with my brother the other week. Also sometimes I'm playing games... Animal Crossing for the Switch took over my life for a bit several months ago, and now I'm having a blast playing the bizarro detective RPG Disco Elysium. I highly recommend that one based on the 10 hours or so I've sunk into it so far, super creative and interesting and strange

[ratsoh-writes]

Personality; Chaotically Chill Dad/Mom friend, I'm super sweet, mature and understanding but I will turn around and become a reckless mess of energy and trying to impress my kiddos. Have some anger issues but I'm typically a chill friend who worries about everything. Some days are hard and some are easy, making me a surprise everyday!

Strengths; Open minded, super protective of family and friends, can switch from mature to chill depending on who I'm with, great with words. I've been told I'm easy to open up too, and I do make an attempt at being the funny easy going person in the room. Looks for the best in everyone!

Weakness'; Easily overwhelmed, emotional, and majorly depressed. I'm a lazy workaholic, meaning I sleep too much, but work even more. Puts other before my self always. Massive people pleaser. Get an attitude quick sometimes, and have slight anger issues (If I don't go runnin' crying first) Pick out bad people to be friends because I want to help them (tends to bite me in the ass alot)

Pet peeves; I'm pretty easy going, so not a whole of things get under my skin, but people who actually attempt to piss others off, definitely get me going. anything negative directed at friends and family, also get me quick to rage. Violence, Bad behavior, and Bullies are not my cup of tea-

Hobbies; I adore drawing, working, and cracking loads of jokes/puns. I love taking my kiddos out and having friend dates, or just driving along the country side and jamming to tunes!

This ended up lONG,,, SORRY HAHA <33

Hmmmm, it looks like I’m gonna match you with G (gastertale sans)!

First of all, G is no fool. He’s good at catching people’s true intentions and he has like no fear. He will cut them out before they can start crap. G is frailty protective and will watch out for you when it comes to making the right friends.

Next, G likes energetic and fiery people. You seem like the right blend between sassy and goofy too. G has a raging bratty streak and likes someone who can put him in his place, but can also have a laugh with him

Finally, G isn’t a true introvert. He’s more in between than anything and does like being social as long as he can take a day to himself occasionally. He’ll like how you seem to enjoy having your friends around you. It makes life more interesting

Dating G includes:

When you said long drives, those were the magic words lol. G is cool with either his motor bike or your car and you both have a great time just cruising

Just a warning, he is a perv. You’re gonna get groped lol. Even better if you smack his butt back lol FairPlay after all

G works as a scientist studying connections between monster healing magic and human medicine. He’s hyper-aware of the human body and it’s limitations. If you ever start overworking yourself, you’re gonna see his bossy side come out. There’s no escape

[b1acksw4n]

Who Do You Love? Part 3

Genre: Hybrid!AU, highschool AU, some fluff, LOTS of angst, maybe some smut in future chapters

Pairings: Hybrid!Taehyung x Reader Jungkook x Reader

Summary: Hybrids were owned by humans and were viewed as pets. But what happens when hybrids are given a chance to be our equals. When Kim Taehyung a tiger hybrid transfers to your school, your whole world is flipped upside down. He’s mysterious, which draws you in. Jungkook doesn’t like the sudden interest you take in this hybrid...

Words: 1.9k

Sitting alone in your room you scrolled through

Instagram. Finding a picture of your ex Seokjin with his arm wrapped around a girl's waist, smiling brightly. You couldn't stop thinking about him. It hurt so fucking bad. God did it hurt. He was perfect. Too perfect. You really don't know when things began to fall apart. You two became quite distant, movie nights and once comforting and romantic cuddling sessions became a bit awkward and that's when you knew something was definitely wrong. You found out Jin cheated on you and was going behind your back with some upperclassman. You were completely heart broken.

  

~(Flashback)~

     The day of the break up, you were all dolled up, ready to go on a date with Jin, and when he showed up at your door, your heart fluttered. But that giddiness soon turned to nervousness as Seokjin avoided your gaze then confessed everything to you. He called the date off and left you crying on your doorstep, makeup that you spent hours on prior to look nice for him was now running down your face. When you walked back inside, your phone started to ring, although you could barely hear it from how loud and pitiful your crying was. Jungkook, your best friend, was indeed calling you. You instantly hit 'Decline' not wanting him to see you like this.

    He called again and again. You knew he wouldn't stop until you answered so you sighed through your tears and hit accept with a shaky hand. "Aish YN! It took you four missed calls to answer your best friend?! I'm not that annoying am I?" He said teasingly, not prepared nor aware of what was about to occur. You stifled a sob, curling up in a tight ball. The phone laying right next to you on the floor, Jungkook on speaker. "O-Oh my god what's wrong?! What happened?! Tell me." He went from concerned to angry and upset in a matter of seconds. "J-Jin." You cried harder, hugging yourself tighter. "What the fuck did that asshole do?" Jungkook grunted, hearing shuffling coming from the phone you could tell he was getting up and getting ready to go to your house. "Kookie.. I-I'll be fine d-don't do anything.."

     "Too late. I'm already here." He had a key to your house since you guys were close and he let himself in. He ended the call, his gaze immediately landing on your shaking figure. He could see you were still dressed up like you were supposed to go out and his dark thick brows furrowed as he gently pulled you into his strong firm hold. His muscular arms holding you securely as you cried into his chest. "You deserve better than this you know.." He gently rubbed your lower back in a relaxing circular motion, kissing your temple.

    Crying softly, you clung to his strong figure. "He's a dick. I'm seriously going to beat his ass YN. I don't care if he's older than me. He fucking hurt you." His voice didn't sound as playful and teasing as it usually did. He sounded livid. "Kookie.... d-don't.." You looked up at him with pleading eyes, your hair a mess and tears streaming down your cheeks.

     He lightly brushed your tears away with the pad of his thumb. He stared at your features for a moment with sparkling eyes before carefully standing up and carrying you to your bedroom.  He was so strong that it was practically nothing for him to do. "You need to rest, love.." Grabbing one of his t shirts you had at your house, he handed it to you and a pair of pajama shorts. "Change into this and get some rest.. please.." He looked down at you, and a few minutes later you came back out with it on. Crawling into bed, you sniffled, getting under the covers. Jungkook got in after you, pulling you close to him, his muscular chest pressed against your back.

      "Don't worry.. you're safe with Kookie.." The brunette said tiredly, his grip unintentionally getting tighter. His scent was all you could smell and it lulled you to sleep and you were so thankful to have a best friend like Jungkook.

~(Flashback End)~

  

   You stared at your phone screen feeling numb. It had been 2 months and you still weren't doing that great. Jungkook was such a great guy and here you were still hung up over Seokjin. Jin already had someone new and he looked so happy without you. You almost felt guilty. Were you leading Jungkook on? You never meant to, you'd never in your life want to hurt Jungkook. You still couldn't believe till he had feelings for you.. He meant the whole world to you.

    It was a Thursday afternoon and you were watching some random boring game show on TV, eating some buttered popcorn. Tomorrow, Taehyung  and you would be studying together at your house. Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's you and Taehyung were supposed to study together. Tomorrow would be the very first day and you were kind of nervous to be honest. You hoped it wouldn't be too awkward. Since he's coming over after school you decided to clean your room up a bit.

    Pushing yourself up and off the couch, lazily reaching for the remote, you turned off the TV. Throwing away the empty buttery popcorn bag, you went upstairs to your room. Your stairs felt endless at the moment from the excessive laziness you've been feeling lately.  Your lower calves were already slightly burning from it. Putting on some music, you started cleaning your somewhat messy room. You organized your clothes, neatly putting them in each designated drawer.

    You vacuumed your fluffy white carpet from the thick black fur your cat always seemed to leave behind as evidence she lounged around all day. Put all the empty water bottles and dishes away. Took your trash out and overall did a pretty deep and thorough clean. You didn't want Taehyung thinking you were some unorganized slob.. even though you weren't sure why you seemed to care so much. Well.. first impressions are pretty important right?

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   You quickly got dressed, getting ready to go to school. You grabbed your bag, walking to school. Jungkook waved to you and you approached him, entering the large school building. "Hey.. are you alright YN? You seem pretty quiet.." Jungkook thoughtfully looked down at you. You nodded slightly, staring at the ground as you walked. You already worried Jungkook enough.. Maybe he'd drop it if you just kept avoiding the question. "You can tell me.." Jungkook took your hand and gently held it in his much larger one. He was so caring to you. Although with other people he seemed rude and a bit off putting.

    "It's just Jin..  I'll be fine Kookie.. don't worry too much about it." You looked back at him as you walked ahead of him a few feet. You weren't paying attention and once again your face hit a familiar hardness. Taehyung's chest. You bumped into him again. "Well this wouldn't be the first time this happened." Taehyung chuckled a bit, looking down at you, one of his soft fluffy ears drooped. You smiled up at him, ruffling his messy soft locks. Since when was Taehyung this outgoing? This is the longest sentence he's ever said to you!

     "Are you ready for our study session after school today?" You took a step back so you could see him clearly since you two were so close, almost forgetting about Jungkook. Jungkook had an agitated expression on his.. well perfectly structured face. His dark brown brows furrowed as his once soft eyes were now narrowed in a displeasing manner. "Yep! Can't wait." Taehyung exclaimed with a cute toothy grin on his face, his sharp canines now visible. "Me too." You smiled, gave him a small shy wave and walked away with Jungkook to class. "You're so rude Jungkookieee.." You pouted a bit, looking up at him. He only grunted, feeling his chest tighten in possessiveness as he wrapped his arm around you.

   Jin walked past and you stiffened in Jungkook's hold. Jin glanced at you, and Jungkook glared at him. Your heart was racing and you avoided eye contact was Jin. Truth was, Taehyung had found out about what Jin had done to you. He had already took a disliking to him. Taehyung was very fond of you. You just seemed very gentle and caring to him, and it made him feel safe. As a hybrid, he was constantly being degraded and beaten. He had a scar that went right over his left eye and over his cheek, although you never asked him about you, you sure had an idea.

   Sitting down at your desk in math class, Jungkook sat right behind you, occasionally whispering things in your ear, every time the teacher turned his back. Jungkook's soft hushed whispers sent shivers down your spine. "We have another new student. Her name is Jennie. Make her feel welcome everyone." The teacher announced, snapping you back into reality. Another new student? Jennie waved and took her seat. Right next to Jungkook. She kept looking at you two, with a rather questionable look on her face. She looked so familiar but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. 'Have I seen her before?' You thought staring at her a second too long. Jennie looked up and met your gaze, smiling. You The teacher was talking but in the midst of his lecture the bell rang. He dismissed everyone even though people were already scrambling to get their books and left the classroom. It was lunch, that's why everyone was in such a hurry.

  You went to your locker to put your things away and Jungkook did the same. You both met up at his locker and you felt a delicate hand tap you on your shoulder. "This is so embarrassing.. but I need help opening my locker.. I'm not used to the combination." It was Jennie. "Of course! I'm YN by the way I'm sorry I never really introduced myself." You smiled, following her as she led you to the location of her locker. Jungkook was close behind, considering he seemed to think he was your personal bodyguard or something like that.

    "The combination is 45 - 16 - 0." Jennie explained. You put it in and on your first try you opened it with ease. "Thank you so much." She chirped. "No problem. Do you want to sit with my friends and I at lunch?" You asked thoughtfully. You knew how it felt to be new and not know anyone so you wanted to make her feel less awkward and alone. She nodded and followed you and Jungkook to the cafeteria. You went through the agonizing process of waiting in the extremely long line of hungry hormonal teenagers. Finally, the three of you got your food, and walked back to your table. Where Hoseok had been waiting for you with a lunch he brought from home.

   Soon all four of you were hitting it off. Jennie was really funny and pretty outgoing once you guys got her out of her shell. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad having another girl around to talk to. You were kind of nervous but apprehensive about the study session with Taehyung. Especially with Jungkook probably attempting to interfere with that ridiculous hatred of his, he had for the hybrid.

[thebrightsessions]

Abt you not confirming any characters as poc: It feels a little performative. Like you go on and on abt how important representation is but you leave poc out in the cold. And this isn't even addressed in a way that makes it seem like you care or have thought abt it. I'm not trying to be rude, but it's a little (a lot) upsetting

I’m really sorry that it seems like I don’t care or that I don’t think about it - I do care and I spend a lot of time thinking about this exact subject. But, like 98% of my thinking, I tend to keep it to myself or conversations with close friends and collaborators. The internet is not always the best place to learn and grow. I even debated answering this ask publicly (or at all - as you guys know, there’s about 900 unanswered asks in here) because I’m always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, but I want to be transparent about this kind of stuff so that I can learn how to be better. 

This is a long post because I want to be as blunt and thorough as possible, so the rest under the cut. 

Representation is important but by talking about how I think representation is important, I in no way want to suggest that I am perfect or comprehensive with representation in my own work. I apologize if it’s ever come off that way - that is not my intention. I’m still learning and growing all the time - as is the greater population and wider entertainment world - and this inevitably means that I’m going to make mistakes or be behind the times or have major blind spots. I try to stay aware of my blind spots and listen to people around me who are smarter and better, but that doesn’t mean I can instantly course correct. 

When I first started The Bright Sessions, never mentioning anyone’s appearance in the show was a specific intention. I wanted our listeners to be able to imagine whatever they’d like to imagine and, selfishly, I was excited to see different interpretations in fanart, should we be lucky enough to have people drawing our characters. I naively thought that was unequivocally a good thing. After all, I loved imagining my own personal versions of the characters in books I read or podcasts I listened to - isn’t that the benefit of having no visual reference? I realize now how short-sighted that was. I still do think there’s beauty in having a completely open sandbox when it comes to visuals, but I also know better now that concrete representation is vital. 

Since then, I’ve been grappling with different questions. If I were to confirm someone’s race, would I be taking away something from someone? What’s the balance of having concrete, meaningful representation versus leaving doors open for listeners to make characters their own? I didn’t think about race in casting - perhaps another naive choice - so in making any races canon, would I have to recast? Limit the character’s race to the actor’s race? Are the rules different in voice acting? 

And, were I to make something canon, how would I do so within the podcast? This might seems like a lazy, cop-out question to ask myself, but it is something I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about. Certain characters have voiced their sexuality out loud because sexuality is something you can’t see, but it might feel awkward or shoe-horned in to have a character identify their own or someone else’s race out loud. In TV and film, the representation is there because you can see it - it isn’t being told to you. But of course, people do talk about their own experiences as a POC in real life, but that would mean writing a conversation specifically about the POC experience, which I feel isn’t my place to write. So, then, ideally I’d hire a POC writer, except I only recently started getting paid for writing this show myself and the last thing I want to do is cash in on someone’s experience and talents and then not pay them. That seems like the way worse option. 

Now, you might ask, “why not just confirm it on here or somewhere else online?”. Because it’s one thing for me to answer questions about a character’s favorite food or birthdays, but in my opinion, something as important as racial representation only counts if it’s actually in canon. I’ve confirmed some things that are heavily suggested in the podcast, but I’ve tended not to give answers about things like sexuality and race because until those things appear in the show, I have no right to claim them publicly for my characters. That’s how I feel right now but, as with all of this, my feelings may evolve. 

(sidebar: I did confirm Chloe’s panromanticism on tumblr before getting to it in the show, but she was already out as ace and I had a pretty decent idea that we were going to talk about her exes down the line)

So those have been some of the many thoughts that have been running through my head the past two and a half years and I still don’t have perfect answers for them. They are not at all meant to be excuses - I’ve been fairly upfront about the fact that my two big blind spots as a writer are gender and race representation. I know. That doesn���t mean I know how to be better. To be totally honest, I’m pretty scared to tackle those subjects as a white cis writer. I feel more surefooted writing queer characters - even ones with a different identity than my own - and male characters - even though I’m a woman - because men have been represented plenty in media. But when there’s already such a dearth of good POC representation (and the spectrum of gender representation) it feels like a much weightier thing to take on. But that should in no way stop me. Just because I fear identifying a character’s race in an audio format might lead to clunky dialogue, doesn’t mean it has to sound exposition-y and awkward. If I want to be a good writer, I need to find ways to write meaningful representation in multiple mediums, without sacrificing smoothness of writing. If representation is important to me in my work - which it is - I need to walk the walk and make sure that I’m considering what the breadth of representation actually means. 

(another sidebar because it always bears repeating: not everything can be everything for everyone. I get a lot of asks along the lines of “will you ever have a character who is x” and the reality is that I’m not running through a checklist of groups to represent in my work because I think that does lead to bad storytelling. That being said, if I want to challenge myself by telling new and diverse stories (diverse in the broadest sense of the word) and if I’m someone who believes that entertainment can be a force for positive change, I will do my best to widen the spectrum of the characters I’m writing. But: I am not at all obligated to do so. If a writer wants to tell the same story about the same people in 900 different ways for the rest of their life, they are allowed to do that. I wouldn’t want to do it - I personally believe that if you’re making something for potential mass consumption (as anything on the internet is), you’d ideally have good intentions that it would have a positive influence on the world. But the entertainment you consume does not have a responsibility to you. An artist is responsible for their art - if you make something and it has an affect on the world, negative or positive, you have to live with that. But as an audience member, I don’t think I’m owed anything by what I consume because I choose what I consume, and all the baggage that comes with it. If I waited for that piece of art that is perfect in representation and entirely unproblematic, I would be waiting quite literally for forever. Which brings me to my final point...) 

To be completely, brutally honest, there’s a trend on tumblr/the internet in general that I’ve seen grow exponentially in the past ten years that really worries me. And that is the constant tearing down of anything deemed even slightly problematic. I’ve grown so much as a human and artist in the past three years alone and I live in fear of making a mistake that will end my career and alienate my audience forever. It’s easy to get the impression from the internet that there is no room for growth. I would be lying if I said that wasn’t a factor in me steering away sometimes from things where the chances of me fucking up and courting hate are high. Again - not an excuse. I shouldn’t give a rat’s ass what people on the internet think of me, I should stop being a coward and try things that are important to me, even if I do them badly on the first try. But I’m human and the truth is that strangers on the internet being mean to me actually really fucking hurts. And it especially hurts if I don’t even get a second try to do better. It is impossible and extremely dumb for me to wait for a time when I feel like I can tell certain stories without messing them up, but I think that’s an element of what I’ve been doing. That’s bad and weak-willed and I’m sorry. 

(final sidebar: this ask is not an example of the above. This isn’t a rude ask - you are well within your rights to be upset about this and as much as it stings to know I’ve disappointed listeners, it’s always good for me to know because that’s how I grow. I’m talking more about the hypothetical fear that I try to deliver on something that’s important to lots of people and fail and get a lot of means asks and then have a long cry about it.)

I don’t know if this sheds any light on my thought process or just muddies things further - I’m clearly still figuring things out. I think the main thing I’m trying to say is: I hear you and I know and I’m going to try and do better but that doesn’t mean I’m going to do things perfectly or even well. None of what I’ve said here makes up for the lack of representation or lets me off the hook, but I hope it gives you some insight into where I’m at now. The original run of TBS will unfortunately always be lacking in this regard - there’s nothing I can do to change that. But in projects moving forwards, I fully have the intention to highlight new voices and stories and perspectives. Especially now that I’m in more of a position to actually pay people. But I’m not going to sit here and promise you that I’ll satisfy you with my writing in the future. I have no idea if I will. I have no idea if I’ll even satisfy myself. All I ask, from you and all our listeners and my team and even myself, is that we continue being honest with each other and that we always, always leave room for growth. 

I’m sorry I’ve failed you, but I hope you’ll give me a chance to do better in the future. Stay strange.