#It reminds me of being at a school disco

[xcziel]

feeling nostalgic and watching utube reactors discover classic songs and then feeling both old and incredulous

[heartlilith]

WHAT THE VENUS SIGNS REMIND ME OF

🩷Oddly specific things I think about when I hear ______ venus

Aries Venus: Summer, rubies, Mr. and Mrs. Smith, rollercoasters, fast cars, the color red, vampire fangs, Saturday nights, liquor stores and gas stations, fireworks, sour candy, cool bic lighters, “you’re mine”, Mario Kart, boys who wear nail polish, fuck it energy, oversized sweatshirts, middle finger emoji, cherries

Taurus Venus: Satin pillowcases, white candles, pearls, mirrors, hand holding, walking someone home at night, vinyls, red lipstick, full lips, fancy dinner dates, the wine and dine, old romantic movies, wallets and purses, hotels, French manicures, old money, “I won’t get on my knees for no man”

Gemini Venus: Driving around at night listening to music, reading to someone, comedy shows, mimosas, Samantha from Sex and the City, libraries, nerd kink, hot teachers/student kink, emerald green, laughter, swing sets, looking out of the window and just watching, untied shoelaces, dogs and puppies, dad jokes

Cancer Venus: Soft feather pillows, a bowl of warm soup, a bubble bath, tears and running mascara, babies and how babies laugh, poetry, “I’ll be whatever you want me to be”, hot tubs, hot coffee, teddy bears, heartbeats, soft hands & skin, lotion, bagels and cream cheese, doodling in your journal

Leo Venus: Lip gloss, mojitos, getting drunk at brunch, diamond tennis bracelets, drunk texts you regret sending later, the block button, lonely nights, shooting stars, blowing bubbles, piggy back rides, art museums, glittery eyeshadow, jumparoos, birthday parties

Virgo Venus: Taking a shower, Dove soap, smooth skin, symmetry, butterflies, the smell of books, getting a facial or going to the spa, chicken caesar salads, the good tasting water, chunky headphones, acoustic guitar, running errands, getting your eyebrows done, neat handwriting, neutral colors, sushi

Libra Venus: Blush, dimples, Y2K fashion, Hello Kitty, makeup skills, those little hand mirrors, princes and princesses, cupcakes, pedicures, Margaritas, taking pictures, art, castles, Disney movies, daisies, spin the bottle, cartwheels, soft hair, bubblegum, skincare, watermelon and pineapple

Scorpio Venus: Psychology, neck tattoos, “until death do us part”, Kings & Queens, snakes, sacred sex, chess, secrets, hickeys, the feeling after you stay up all night, the feeling of being at a concert, roses, knives, tequila shots, legs intertwined, dirty martinis, sparklers, Avril Lavigne, fantasy books, true crime and dark history

Sagittarius Venus: Clouds, rock climbing, rappers, Hip Hop and R&B, going on vacation, açaí bowls and fresh fruit, sun kissed/radiant skin, the color yellow, retreats, history, yoga and Pilates, spicy food, “it is what it is”, curly hair, the smell of weed, casinos, the last day of school, Las Vegas

Capricorn Venus: Leather, red wine, the cow pattern, cowgirl boots, the color brown, espresso, dark chocolate, briefcase of money like in the movies, the movie Scarface, whiskey on the rocks, bosses, owls, turtle necks, caramel, wearing suits, lingerie, business, New York City

Aquarius Venus: Lightbulbs, telescopes and microscopes, LED lights, hamsters, college parties, glitter, peace signs, 70s concerts, food trucks, skipping school, “fuck it”, diving in the pool, the beach at night, disco balls, getting detentions in school

Pisces Venus: Mermaids, kittens, cartoons and Disney princesses, champagne, Webkinz, little kid stories like Goldilocks, 3 Little Pigs, Hansel and Gretel, clear glittery lip gloss, holographic, snowmen and icicles, swimming in the pool, flower gardens, glow sticks , picnics, bumblebees, sand castles, elementary art class, 3D movies

Book a Reading 🩷

Masterlist 🩷

[tan1shere]

Save Me

Billie Eilish x female reader !

A/n: I know I got inspired by something but I can not remember- it mightve been from the show I just finished I dunno BUT I hope you all enjoy this angsty Rollercoaster 😁

Summary: Your life wasn't as colorful as it may seem. When you reunite with an old girlfriend you were finally able to get out of the hell hole. She took you away from all the harm. She, saved you.

Warnings: angst ! - happy ending duhr, abusive partner, ptsd - think that's it, lmk if I missed anything !

Tags (forgot to do this oopsies) @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @brat-at-the-disco @iluvapplesxh @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu

Masterlist

"Fine, whatever I'm too tired for this."

Those were your last words as you open the dark brown front door. It was the Christmas holidays so everything was hectic. Your life, family. Your supposed partner. Partners were suppose to be in everything together. You truly wanted to be but Bri, was far from any of that. You have been going out for over 6 years now. First few were wonderful, then the reality kicked in and you saw her for her true self. A fucking bitch. But you couldn't just leave. You couldn't and it was stressing you out. There was two main concerns.

One, she started getting crazier as years led on. So you had zero clue what she might do if you leave. Two, there was a bigger thing in your life that had your main focus. You couldn't, not right now. So you had to suck it up. Three words you despise. But it had to be done. It was another day of arguing, oh joy. This time you just couldn't handle sitting around the house moping because of her harsh words. Her horrid temper. It reminded you all to well of your father. Someone who you had finally got out of your life, only to be replaced with the exact replica. "My mistake." You breathe.

It was cold, you had grabbed the first jacket on the coat rack before you left. You needed something to drink or a place to hide out that was warm. And far away. You open the door to a little Cafe. Heading over and ordering a hot chocolate. One of your favs. You grab it, going to turn around when you were face to face with. "Oh sor- Billie?" Your head tilts, looking at all her features. Yup it was her. "Y/n? Oh my God, it's been years!" She gives you a hug, dipping down just a little. You were shorter than her, than alot of people actually. Maybe that's why you always felt so weak, so inferior.

"I know, how are you?!" You say with such a wide smile, you missed her. You think about her often. But like most high-school relationships they never tend to last. She eventually got famous, being bigger and amazing. She had moved in the process, which you couldn't do. You loved your home town. So ofcourse everything left on good terms. Mostly. You did hurt for months after. She truly was your bestfriend too. So to loose both at the same time, hurt a fuck ton. Maybe you never truly got over it. "I'm actually doing very well. You?" You think for a moment. "Yeah, peachy." Peachy?

You internally face palm. She didn't really seen to pick up on it though. Or maybe she did but she just wanted to leave it. "What's been happening in the years?" You both go to sit down at a empty table to chat. "Well." You start but stop for a moment. What do you even say. Do you mention your girlfriend, your home together. Your daughter. Yeah. That's the 'thing' you've been worried about the most throughout all this. "Well, I uh. I met someone. We've been going out for just over 6 years. We have a place together and yeah." You didn't know if you could tell her. Was it weird? Even if it was some high-school relationship. You and Billie had been dating for about 8 years. It wasn't just some silly thing.

How would she react. Billie was amazing with kids. Even back then she was just the sweetest, silliest around one. It warmed your heart. And that is who you pictured yourself with. Pictured marrying having your own children with. But no, it's gone horribly. Bri isn't great with kids. Never horrible to Carley, near incidents. But you'd never ever let that happen. Sure you let her tread on you, horrible to say but thats who you were. You haven't always been like this. It's her to blame honestly. She ruined you. But you'd kill for your daughter. You two had a special bond, super close. Maybe that angered Bri more.

"How about you? Now that you're massive everywhere. Do occasionally hear your songs from time to time my-" You cut yourself off. "Friends all love it too." She smiles at you. "Things are good, hectic but amazing. I think about you alot you know." You look at her, her eyes. Those same eyes that you fell inlove with. As you do you realize that feeling never left. "I do also, there isn't a day you don't slip my mind." A comfortable silence was in the air for a moment. Something you had missed between the two of you. So soothing.

No screaming, no arguing. You and her kept talking about anything and everything, when your phone starts blowing up. Texts, calls. You hadn't noticed at first until Billie says something. "And I thought I was the famous one." She laughs. But her eyes linger on your lockscreen. It was some child. You quickly pick your phone up. "Just probably emails and such from work." She nods. "Hey, speaking of that. What do you do now?" You smile wide. "Office work at the moment. But, it is leading up to what I want to do." She now smiles. "You always were very driven." - "Wonder who I got that from." You say, still having a smile on your face.

With work. Her and your job. You hadn't felt much recently. Kind of empty. Depressed. It wad hard keeping everything together for everyone else. But not for your own well being. Putting on fake smiles forever. But now, now you were genuinely smiling. Something Billue has always succeeded in doing. Whenever you were sad. Instant cheer up was her. Her hands go to touch yours. "Let's keep in touch this time. Please. I have to go but I'd love to catch up properly next time." You reluctantly nod. "Yes ofcourse. I should probably go too. Get to these texts and such." You both stand going to give one last hug before leaving.

She still smelt the same. God you felt like crumbling, crying. Letting everything out. You cry alot actually. No one sees it. Whether it's a little one at work, or at night while bri is out somewhere. Drinking. Carley had caught it once. You tried telling her it was just a sad movie you had watched. You hated lying but the less she knows the better. She needed parents who loved her. Who didn't fight infront of her. She pulls back putting her hands on your head. "It was good bumping into you." - "Like wise."

Bri.

Where tf did you go.

Get home for fuck sakes. We can sort this out.

And pick up Carley. I'm not doing it.

"I'm not doing it, you do it because you don't do anything all day, while I sit on my fucking ass drinking. Blah blah. Blah." You grip the steering wheel letting out a dry breath. What has this life become. You saw it differently. You had managed to get the dream job. But in reality that wasn't happening. Another thing you lied to Billie about. Your boss was an asshole. Another one in your life. She treated you poorly. Which was interesting because you were the one making the good money, you made a bunch. Bri? She doesn't do anything no job. You then get distracted by the radio playing one of Billies songs. You turn it up.

Scoffing at what one it was 'Lost Cause' "What perfect timing radio." You laugh a little, how ironic. Deciding to clear your mind and sing on your way to pick your daughter up. She was having a little play date with a friend from school. Once you get there she's already out and coming in to see you. "Hi mama!" She says cheerfully. You smile so wide. "Hi pumpkin, had fun!?" She nods, putting her seat belt on. You were so proud when she came home saying she had a friend. Carley is quite a shy girl, like you when you were younger. So it was such happy news when she came to you super excited. "Her mums really nice too, you'd like her, and oh my God they have fun snacks." You smile. "I bet I will, that sounds so fun baby."

You get into the house, afraid. You never ever dreamed of being afraid to step into your own home. But you had Carley. Bri would never ever do anything infront of her. You made sure of it. "Go play love, dinner will be ready soon." She runs upstairs and that's when shit happens. "Where the fuck did you go?" You sigh, going into the kitchen. "I went to go clear my head. You know what that's like." She shakes her head. "For nearly an hour?" You stay quiet, getting things set up. "Answer me damn it." - "Yes for nearly an hour." She stares at you. "I want steak." "Didn't plan on doing that tonight." You mumbled. "What was that?" A quiet sigh leaves your lips. "Yes babe. Steak it is."

That's what it was usually like. You'd always avoid arguments. You couldn't bear it. Not only because you hated being yelled at, but you never wanted Carley to hear. She shouldn't have to hear such things about her parents. Bri goes back over to the couch. God you were miserable, how did you attract such fucked up shit.

Ever since Billie left that day years ago, you'd been a mess. You were blind to everything. She kept you grounded and once that was gone. You didn't know what to do with yourself. Lately you've been sleeping alone. How lovely, sometimes it was. Having the whole bed to yourself. Others, it was just lonely. Tonight you wanted to revisit those times, reminisce on old memories. "Mama?" You hear Carleys small voice. "Yes baby?" She comes over to you, getting on the bed. Or trying to. "I just wanted to say night, whats all this?" She picks up a Polaroid of you and Billie. "Old photos of when I was in high-school." - "Who's this mama?" You look at the photo she had in hand.

"Just an old friend sweetheart." She nods. "She looks kind of familiar." You so wanted to tell her about it. But you just couldn't. Carley actually adores her music and has many merch pieces in her room. Which was what you were going to say to Billie earlier today. "Yeah. She was pretty memorable." She stares at more laid out. "What happened, why arent you friends no more?" You take a moment, getting choked up by one photo. "Uhm, just went our separate ways. She was on to bigger and better things, and I was still figuring things out." You smile at her, motioning for her to come over to you. You kiss her head. "I love you. Go say goodnight to mommy too, yeah?" She nods, going to get down. "Ok mama!"

A few days had passed and you were planning to meet Billie. You got to go home earlier that day so you decided now was the time. You met at some beach, a calm place to take a walk. "So it's the job you always wanted, the one when we were younger?" The sand was warm, calming everything inside you. "Yeah, not yet but I'm close to." Liar. "I'm so proud of you! Gosh, we both got what we wanted." Your eyes look down, it was all lies. Your whole life. "Anyways enough about me. Hows fame treating you?" She laughs a smidge. "Great but alot of the time not. Majority its amazing. The fans are sweethearts but I hate calling them that. They're just- friends I haven't met yet." You loved how warm she was towards everyone. Happy that hadn't changed in the slightest.

"Latest album has been out for months now and it's doing great." You nod. "It's probably a favorite of mine, I love all the songs. They're absolutely beautiful." She gives you a soft smile. "Thank you, it means alot coming from you." You look at her confused. "Why so?" "Because I loved your judgment years ago, you were so creatively smart. So cute with your ideas. I admired it." Your smile was loving. You haven't heard such nice things in a very. Very, long time. "Well I'm glad I could be of service." Her laugh comes back, booming in your ears. God you missed hearing it. "You still look beautiful, different. But still gorgeous." You blush at her words. "Different?" - "Well, we're all older but you just look so, elegant and-"

She chuckles to herself. "Who is this lucky woman, she should be cheering out of her mind." Your demeanor changes. "Oh stop." You then try to hide. Hide your true emotions. "I mean it! She should know how lucky she is." A silence grows. One with hanging questions, lingering. "Who was that on your phone the other day?" You look at her bewildered. "Your lockscreen I mean." Shit, she did see. "Oh, just my friends daughter." Her brows furrow. "You have your friends daughter as your lockscreen?" Nice going. "Uhhh, yeah I'm like her aunt and she's just so adorable." You just hoped she'd move on. The less she knows the better.

You were currently at Billies place. She invited you for lunch getting to see her brother again after all these years too. You were currently sitting on a soft couch, soaking up the silence between one another. Until...

"Who was that really. On your lockscreen." You smile slightly. "I told you-" "Y/n, I use to date you. I know exactly when you're lying." Everything goes still. "Do you have a kid?" You slowly nod. She looks at you. "Why didn't you just tell me?" Her voice was so soft. You hadn't heard a soft voice other than your daughters in a long time. It was just yelling, yelling and more yelling. "I just-" She gives you a look knowing you were about to come up with some pathetic story. "I didn't want you to know the real me." She laughs a little. "I already do. I knew it all those years ago and I still do. But, you have changed. You're more timid." Your eyes move, looking at her.

"Spill, come on." You sigh, shakily. "I'm not perfect, nothing in my life apart from my daughter is. I didn't want you to think less of me." Her face softened. "I could never. I've always seen you as amazing." You smile again, she always brought out the true you. Maybe thats why you haven't been yourself over the years, she was missing. "When can I meet this angel?" You freeze. "Uhm, I dunno. It's just." She waits for a reply. "I don't think that's a good idea." Shes confused. Incredibly confused. "Why?" "I think I should go." You stand up going to leave but she's quick. "Did I say something wrong?" Your head shakes. "No no! It's just getting late I should get back." Something funny was up, she had a feeling.

"Alright.. I'll text you." You hold a thumbs up scurrying out of there. She was going g to find out whatever it was you were hiding. She needed to.

Another day of arguments. Carely at school. Perfect opportunity to scream. "You're fucking stupid." - "Why now, I've got a million-" Her hand lands straight on your face. Shes only ever done it twice and it ofcourse shocks you each time. She was getting worse and it just frightened you. Who knows what could be next. "Are you talking back?" She sounded like some sadistic man. She sounded exactly like him. "Bri." - "That was a question darling." You cringed inside, swallowing. "No.." She hums. "Good. This argument is stupid, just get back to cleaning." You just wanted to scream and shout. She was insufferable. You hated how weak you'd get whenever she'd yell, it brought up your ptsd. And it made you realize why the slapping didn't bother you as much as it should.

Another thing he did. Did he train her or something it was like being a kid again. Your childhood being relived.

There was a knock on the door but the vacuum cleaner cleared that sound out. Carley on the other hand was in the living room right next to it. She gets up, opening it and gasping. "Y- you're Billie Eilish." She was dumbfounded, feeling like she was dreaming. "Sure am, is your mum home?" She blinks. "My mama? She's hoovering. Come come." Billie giggles at the little girls choice of words, following her into the house. "Mama! Billie Eilish is here, Billie Eilish!" You turn it off shocked. "How did you-" "I know my ways." You stop what you were doing. "What're you doing here?" Carely was so giddy it was nearly impossible to ignore. "Well I hadn't heard back, so I decide the one way that I knew I'd get your attention."

"Just showing up at my home?" You laugh a little. "I mean you wouldn't be able to escape." Carely pokes Billies hand, causing Billie to look down at her. You were so thankful Bri was out drinking. Never a sentence you thought you'd ever utter but here we are. "Ms Billie Eilish, I loveeee your music." Billie laughs again. "Shes interesting." You smile. "She's the sweetest, always so polite." Billie smiles more. "You like my music huh?" Carley nods frantically. "How do you know my mama?" Billie looks at you, not sure what to say. You bend down, wiping hair out of her face. "You know those photos I was looking at weeks ago and you saw that little Polaroid? That was her." She looks at Billie. "Woahhh you were friends with her back then?" You nod.

"You said we were friends." You stand back up. "Well yes, I'm not going to talk about relationships to her she won't really understand anyways." Billie gives you a look. "You're hiding something." You grab the vacuum. "Is this why you came over here?" She nods, making you sigh. "There's nothing Billie I promise." Carely then taps her hand again. "Ms-" "You can just call me Billie, angel." She smiles at her. "Billie, can I show you my room?!" - "Well Billie must be going soon." Her brow raises. "Am I now?" "Mhmm, so be super speedy baby." She pouts. "Naww, ok mama." Carley grabs Billies hand taking her into her room.

You prayed Bri doesn't come back anytime soon. But you doubt she would. "I have a little collection of your stuff!" Billie smiles looking at the CDs and necklaces, even a tiny little purfume bottle as that's all she'd need. The cutest thing ever is she never wants to waste it. You stand at the door, watching. "Wow you have quite a collection little miss. I'm very proud!" She giggles. Picking up the perfume. "I always do one tiny spray each day before I got to school." Billie looks at you. "She the cutest thing ever." "I know." You say lovingly. "What do you say about a bigger one? Just from me. I can give it to you in a few days."

Carleys already bouncing up and down. "Oh my God! Yayyy, Billie Eilish is giving me her perfume!" The jumping continues making Billie smile and laugh. "It's ok, really you don't have to do that." - "I'm not taking no for an answer miss thing." She puts a finger up. Making your eyes roll playfully, ending with a smile. "I better get going kid. In a few days yeah?" Carley nods, watching Billie bend down to hug her. It was so gentle and sweet. This, was how it was suppose to go. Exactly like this.

"I'm home!" Bri yells, Carley flying into her arms. "Mommy!" She smiles. "Hi my princess." You come down to see her, surprisingly not as drunk as she usually is. Damn it. You kinda wished she was because- "What's that smell." Shit. "What smell?" She sniffs. "It smells like perfume- strong one too. Nothing that you wear either." Your heart rate escalates. "Hey mommy! Guess who I met today!" Fuck fuck fuck! "Who did you meet?" "Billie Eilish!" Her brows furrow. "The singer? Now where on earth did you meet her?" 3. 2. 1. "She came to the house!" Bri raises her head looking at you. "Did she really?" Carley nods. "Well that's awesome darling, why don't you go up to your room and blast her music for me?" Fuck. "Okay mommy!"

Her little legs sprint upstairs, soon after hearing a slight boom of the songs. You go to speak but a hard slap goes straight to your face. "You said you blocked her." Shes backing you up. "I- it wasn't planned we bumped into one another in a coffee shop-" You back up in the process. "Cut her off." "Bri-" Your back hits the wall making you gasp. "I can't ju-" Her hand grips your throat. Your eyes widening. "Cut. Her. Off." Flashbacks flicker making you panic. "B-bri!" Her grip tightens. "I don't want that stupid bitch in here again, especially while I'm not here." Your eyes water from the impact her hand is causing. "Understand me?" You nod as best as you could. "Good. Dinner." And that was the last thing she uttered, heading upstairs. You fall to your knees catching your breath.

Knowing that's going to leave a nasty bruise at how harsh she was gripping. You try to calm yourself down, you had to keep going like you were fine. But it was getting harder and harder as days go on.

A few days go by, and you had completely ghosted Billie. You were more scared than you were before, that whole incident the other night was mortifying. So you sadly just listened. The bruise was still there not as evident but noticeable. You had put makeup on it to make it even more invisible. Then something you dreaded happened. There was a knock on the door and you go to open it, ofcourse it was Billie...

"What's happening? I texted you but you-" Her eyes wander. Your brows furrow as to why. Her hand goes to touch your neck. "Is that a bruise?" Fuck, water had splashed when you were doing the dishes. "Oh uh- just burned myself? With a straightener." Curse words fly in your brain, you both knew how horrible of a lie that was. "Did someone do this to you?" Your head shakes quickly. "No i-" But there was no point I finishing, Bri was right behind you. "You must be Billie." She looks at her. "Yes! You must be Y/n's girlfriend." Billie sticks her hand out, only for it to stay there.

"Can we help you." Your gaze lowers, hating every second of this moment. "Uh, I was just coming by to drop a few things off for Carley." And in the nic of time there she was rushing to the door. "Billie!" Bris teeth grind together. You Look out the corner of your eye, cringing. "Hey I, got a wholeeeee box load of stuff for you." She gasps, looking at all the different merch items. "Billie, you really didn't have to." She gives you a smile. Knowing things are strange right now. "I'll just head off, nice meeting you." The door was slammed. Making Billies head turn. She was about to leave, but she overhears.

"I thought I told you to cut her off." You look at Carley. "Go to your room baby." Her features change. She looked scared, the tone is Bris voice not only frightening you but your daughter. That's the last thing you wanted. Now you were angry. As she runs away you look at Bri. "Cut that out." She looked appalled. "The fuck did you just say?" You look at her. Little did you know this most definitely wouldn't go further. "You promised you'd never act that way infront of her." Bri scoffs. "Yeah well guess what I did. Wanna circle back to what you just said to me?" "Yeah. I told you to quit being a piece of shit, especially infront of our daughter."

This was no slap. Far from it. Her fist meets smack dab in the middle of your face. You tumble back at the impact, tripping and landing on your ass. Smacking your head hard, on a wall. You grab your face, but everything was happening fast. The door swung open. A cry was to be heard. Your mind races to that trying to get up but your being pushed back down. Now you're the one in tears. You knew those cries, and you needed to get to them. Everything blurs, your head spinning in the process. You hear a muffled voice saying something along the lines of 'you useless cunt'

But you couldn't care less, all you were thinking about was Carley. Your vision clears a bit, seeing her run over to you and hide behind you. You grip her hand, trying your hardest to stay as conscious as possible. When more smacks are heard you hide your face, hiding hers with it. You soon feel hands grabbing at you. But you were too scared to even fight it. Grabbing Carely in your arms. But it wasn't Bri who grabbed you. You were half way out the door when you realized it was Billie. She hadn't left. No words were spoken, cries from your daughter and swearing clouded your ears.

You look into Billies eyes feeling hopeless. And that's all before things went black.

Your head stirs, eyes opening a tad. You were on some couch. Your head pounded as you sit up slightly. Where were you.. But it clicks when you hear a female voice. Everything floods back. "Where is she?" You say frantically. Billie pushes you back gently. "Shes fine, she's ok. She's downstairs playing with shark." You relax slightly. But that doesn't last long as tears spill out. She brings you into her arms, holding you securely. "It's ok, you're away. You're here. You're safe." You violently shake as things become intense. Her hand soothes your back as you sink further into her touch, her warmth. This stayed that way for a good minute. Before you calm down just a bit.

"Why didn't you try telling me?" Her thumb swipes under your eye. "It's not that easy.. She was the only one I was concerned over." Billies eyes drop with sadness. "You were miserable babe. You needed to think about yourself too." "She was all that was good in my life." You say, tears silently dropping. "I didn't want to screw anything up." The tears start to resurface. "Hey hey, you didn't you're the best mother ever. She's so loved by you, even if that stupid bitch didn't. She knows she's loved. You've done great." It made you want to sob more. Not because you were hurt by her words.

The complete opposite. You hadn't heard such kind things in a very long time. "I'm here. I want to be in your life again, help you. Help raise her even. I miss you and I've never stopped loving you." Her confession makes your tears turn to happy ones. You leap forward and kiss her sweetly. "I've never stopped loving you either." Your foreheads touch, savoring this beautiful moment. "Mama?" You then hear Carleys small voice. You turn your head, wiping your tears. "Hi baby." You smile. "You're ok mama, you can cry." Your face softened, gesturing for her to come over. "You know I love you yeah?"

She nods kissing your cheek. "I don't like mommy no more. She hurt you." She hugs you tight. "I just wanted to protect you." Carley moves to stand infront of you. Her little hands on either side of your face. "You did mama." You kiss her bringing her in close. "Besides, Billie said she can be like my new mommy!" You laugh a little. "You said that?" She shrugs. "More or less." Billie winks at carley, making her grin.

Things were exactly how they were always suppose to be. You lived with Billie now, Carley having a bigger room. More to choose from. Your job was fully sorted, much to the help of your beautiful girlfriend. You felt such love from Billie. She never let you cook unless you really wanted to. Nights were always warm, sleeping beside you. Kisses for days, never ending. She's incredibly good with Carley too, which wasn't surprising. You were currently watching TV, Billie and her sitting on the floor. But let's face it, you weren't actually watching TV, how could you when the two people you adored were being so cute infront of you. "Nooo!" Billie says in the silliest way, playing whatever it was with her. This was the happy ending you wanted.

Although. So much was to be uncovered. Things left unspoken. The drama was surely not over yet.

- uhm so.. might be a new series ? This was unplanned but my brains BURNING with ideas.

[goodolreliablejake]

I remember reading a review of Disco Elysium back when it first came out that analyzed the Union something along the lines of "the game isn't as clever as it thinks it is by making the union members the corrupt bad guys, which would have been a tired subversion years ago."

And it just makes me think that Evrart and Manana are so clever that they even fool a lot of the players. At the risk of stating the obvious at this point, these two know exactly how to use society's prejudice to their advantage. Reminds me of two great pieces of advice from two great tricksters:

"Don't forget what you are. The World will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used against you" from Tyrion Lannister, and Mr. Wednesday's insistence that the easiest person to fool is someone who thinks they're clever.

How does Evrart manage to keep tabs on everyone and everything in Martinaise, despite being cloistered and immobile? Surely it's not that he's stationed his smartest lieutenant at a perch that gives him a bird's eye view of the entire district directly adjacent to the office and telephone--after all, that's just a lazy Mesque, a rootless Boiadeiro who believes in nothing but self-interest.

Then you take one look at Evrart--this fat, disabled man with a lazy eye and a slimy disposition. No one would believe he's a hero. He wants you to feel clever for seeing through his lies; he wants you to hate him. After all, aren't fat, disabled people greedy and lazy? The powers that be can control a man who wants to line his pockets: literally, controlled opposition. A man like that only speaks of seizing the means of production as an empty promise--hot air--because to do more would be a dangerous, idealistic proposition, of greater benefit to the line worker than the union leader skimming off the top.

I think there are really only two moments that we get a picture of the real Evrart: in his moment of triumph after seizing the docks from Joyce--and in Easy Leo's story of the two brothers who protected him in school.

You can't trust a word Evrart or Manana say, but that's not because they're corrupt, it's because they're true believers dedicated to the cause, and they're talking to a cop.

[queenshelby]

Yes! Mr Murphy (Rewritten)

PART 27: RESIGNATION

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Lots of Angst, Age Gap, Teacher x Student, Pregnancy Loss, Infertility

One week later

One week passed, and you finally left the hospital after missing work and school, putting you behind with the curriculum.

During this time, Emma was looking after you, calling in sick from work herself and even Nina visited you twice, once with Connie and once with Cillian, who politely waited outside.

Seeing him still bothered you, and you were not over the fact that he had slept with his assistant, who, you knew, had it out for him, and this did not make it easy on you. You were disgusted by the sheer thought of it, him pleasuring her the way he pleasured you.

You felt disgusted, and you wondered whether he enjoyed it. Did he want her? Was she better than you in bed? She was older, sure. But was she more experienced? The answer was probably yes.

After telling Emma about these thoughts, she told you to try and forget about him. Being an actor probably made him a player, and you may have dodged a bullet when he broke up with you.

“He is not worth your tears,” she reminded you before embracing you. She had been your best friend for life, and you knew she was probably right.

You had to forget about Cillian, regardless of how hard it was or how much you were still in love with him. He was twice your age as well, and he was famous, both matters which could create much trouble for you in the future.

***

While trying to forget about Cillian, you spent most of the weekend catching up on reading the play Enda Walsh had given you to prepare for, and this play, too, reminded you of Cillian.

It was one of his own, called Disco Pigs, and you knew that this was Cillian’s first ever on-stage performance after he had dropped out of law school when he was just 19 years old.

“Christ, why?” you cursed as you put the book aside for the night, and Emma, again, reminded you that this, too, would pass.

“Try not to think of him”, she told you, but this was easier said than done as you missed him a lot and wondered whether he missed you too.

***

After a while, you got some sleep, and then, the following day, you went to school early to address your dispute with James.

James, however, tried to avoid you, and it wasn’t until you asked him whether two could talk that he pulled you aside, and you had the chance to confront him.

“Save it. I won’t say anything to anyone,” James told you before you could say anything yourself. He was squirming, and his reaction surprised you.

“Great, but why the change of mind?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“Your boyfriend’s lawyer sent me a letter, but I am sure you already know that,” he told you, causing you to grin.

“No…well yes…maybe I did” You smirked while James shook his head in disbelief and told you he was embarrassed for you.

“I did see the article in the Irish Times, though,” James thus pointed out, explaining that your lover was a player, and you simply fell for his charm like a silly young girl.

“We aren’t together, James,” you felt the need to point out, but James simply shrugged it off and disappeared into the crowds. He no longer cared, and you found out later that day that he was seeing an old friend of yours.

***

Following your day at drama school, you finally went to dance school to teach the evening class. A new teacher had run the course in your absence, but you knew you could still supervise your students and review their routines even though you were not allowed to perform. You had not healed yet and were instructed to wait at least two weeks before resuming any exercise.

When you arrived at the facility, you were asked to see your employer immediately and wondered what this was all about.

You did not think that you had done anything wrong but had a bad feeling in the pits of your stomach as soon as you walked into his office.

Your employer had a stern look and asked you to sit down. A small manila folder was sitting on his desk, staring at you, and you could not help but ask whether you were in trouble.

“For a matter of fact, you are,” your boss said, and your chin dropped while anxiety filled your mind.

“What did I do?” you asked, thinking that it was because you were absent for the past week.

“It came to our attention that you had an intimate relationship with one of our student’s parents,” your employer exclaimed, and you inhaled sharply. Sweat was now building up on your forehead, and your hands started to fidget nervously. You did not know how to respond, and there was silence for a long minute.

“Of course, you have nothing to say to this, do you?” your employer asked, and you told him quickly that you regretted your intimate relationship with the student’s father.

“The problem is two-fold, Miss Y/LN. Firstly, Mr Murphy has a certain standing in the community, being an actor subject to much publicity. Secondly, he is not divorced yet, and we are, as you know, an institution funded by the Catholic Church,” your employer lectured you, seeing that the academy was attached to one of the best schools in Dublin, which, of course, being in Ireland, happened to be catholic.

“I understand, and I can guarantee you that this affair was short-lived”, you reassured your employer, who handed you a three-page document entitled “Non-Disclosure Agreement”.

“That may be the case; however, we have already found a replacement teacher for you, and your services here will no longer be needed,” your boss told you, to which you shook your head.

“You can’t just fire me,” you told him, but he begged to differ.

“I can because your intimate relationship with Mr Murphy constitutes misconduct in the workplace. But, I would much rather ask you to voluntarily resign and sign this agreement which will entitle you to redundancy pay of six weeks’ worth of wages,” your boss told you while handing you a ballpoint pen.

For a minute, you considered telling him to get lost. Still, then you read the agreement, which prevented you from speaking to the press about your relationship with Cillian and prevented him from doing the same. In addition, your employer could not issue you with a bad reference because of it, which you knew he would do if you did not sign and voluntarily walked away from your job. 

“You see, Miss Y/LN, neither us nor Mr Murphy has any interest in making this public,” your employer told you as you considered your options, taking your time.

“You have spoken to him?” you asked, surprised. You did not expect Cillian to take likely to such a threat.

“No, but I have spoken to his assistant about it, and she concurred”, your boss informed you, causing you to laugh.

“Of course, she concurred”, you chuckled before putting pen to taper. You knew you had no choice, and, at least this way, you were getting paid.

After signing the agreement, you packed up your things and left, tears streaming down your face. You loved teaching these excellent students you had, and now, all of this was coming to an end.

You were not even given a chance to say goodbye to your students, and, just as your boss’s secretary saw you out the door, some of the parents stared at you, being escorted out of the building like some criminal.

You wondered who did this to you, and, in the end, it did not matter. Your short-lived fling with Cillian slowly destroyed your life, and you regretted every moment.

It was your fault. Getting involved with him was wrong; now, you must face the consequences.

***

Unfortunately, you were not the only one to suffer from this, and just as the class commenced without you, the parents began to gossip while their children started to listen.

According to one of the mothers, she had been told by your employer’s secretary that you were fired because you slept with one of the parents.

“He is married too,” she whispered, causing Cillian’s wife, Lorraine, to chuckle.

“How typical of these young women. She is probably after money,” Danielle whispered without knowing who it was you had slept with.

Only Connie decided not to engage in the conversation, telling the others that she did not like to spread unsubstantiated rumours, and it was then that Danielle tried to catch her out.

“It may have been Dermont”, she teased, causing Connie to laugh.

“Uhm, if my husband could land the girls’ dance teacher, I would even go so far as to congratulate him on his achievement, but no, it is not Dermont. I am sure of it,” Connie chuckled, seeing that Danielle was trying to get under her skin.

“Maybe it was Cillian?” another one of the mothers then said, now teasing Danielle, who, too, began to laugh and brushed it off.

“Doubtful. My soon-to-be ex-husband is shagging his assistant, just as I had suspected all those years. Also, this rag of a dance teacher is not his type,” Danielle spat, and it was obvious to the other women who were present that she was still somewhat upset that her husband had moved on with his assistant.

“I suppose we will never find out, so how about we just leave it at that,” Connie said as she began to notice the children listening in; even though Nina was not nearby, she did not want this kind of gossip to be spread amongst the students.

***

Following a rather eventful and unpleasant evening at the dance academy, Nina threw her bag and shoes into the boot of her mother’s car, and it was apparent to Danielle that her daughter was angry and confused.

Danielle knew that Nina liked you and, with that in mind, tried to comfort her in the best possible way.

“It’s all right; you will get used to having someone else teach you. I know you liked Y/N, but she resigned, so there is not much you can do about it,” Danielle explained as they got into the car and drove to Cillian’s house, where Nina would stay for the next three nights.

“She did not resign. She got fired,” Nina pointed out angrily while playing around on her phone and texting you to see whether you were all right. After turning fourteen, she had recently joined Instagram and Facebook and added you as a friend across these platforms, occasionally sharing links with you to dance performances she liked.

“What makes you say that?” Danielle wondered before asking Nina to look at her and get off her phone.

“Oh god, Mum, I am not stupid. I heard the gossip,” Nina told her mother, who was worried about what she may have heard.

“So you know what happened?” she thus asked, gauging the situation.

“Yes, I know what happened, but I don’t know why,” Nina told her mother before accusing her of being the culprit. “Did you tell the academy? Because it seems like something you would do to get back at Dad. It’s just like the stupid court orders he had to get to see me,” Nina spat, telling her mother how upset she had been with these events.

“What are you talking about?” Danielle asked as she pulled the car over in shock.

“What I am talking about is that you did not like the fact that Dad was dating Y/N, so you had her fired. Because all you care about is yourself,” Nina accused, causing her mother’s chin to drop.

“Your dad was dating your dance teacher?” she asked, and Nina quickly realised she screwed up. Her mother did not know, causing Nina to curse and cover her mouth with her hands.

[just-animaxiz]

Sylvia: Here are some of my teachers!

This is Ms. V, she's from my Botany class. Despite my grades there, she's very sweet and understanding.

Mint: Awww! She sounds like a kind person!

Sylvia: Well... I don't think some of the Monstrous Venus Flytrap experimental pets she kept would say the same. Granted, they tried to eat some of the students.. Myself included. Here's her letter!

Sylvia! I'd heard that not only you inherited your uncle's shop, but you won 5 times in Rafta's Potion Competition Tournament! Congratulations, dear! I would love to see it, but some of these naughty critters tried to run away from tax fraud! Ugh! If I have my paycheck soon, I'll plan a vacation trip there! Have fun~!

Sylvia: Oh! And this is Mr. Stines - He's in charge of the Experimentation section, which means he tests if the potions are efficient enough to work depending on their progress.

Xid: That's quite a lot of bling for someone so serious.

Sylvia: He likes to... Experiment with fashion too... Which gives half of the school either headaches or impressions. His favourite is the Old Gothic + Steampunk mix, which really works well, until he got blown up by one of the explosions from the potions.

Hello, Sylvia! How's it like in Rafta? Too expensive? Too cheap? Never been there but there's quite some good styles! Nevermind that though - How's the potions? Are they as good as your college ones? The Masterworks quality is hard to achieve, but it's worth when you do your worth! Anyways, gotta run - I need to try this Disco + Jungle look for next semester! Don't use Quantum Crystals as Fuel - THEY'LL EXPLODE!

Sylvia: ....

Boss Finn: And I thought I got a creepy grin.

Sylvia: Mx. Crow is the ONLY scariest substitute I'd ever encountered, with their long neck and creepy gaze... Not only that, but their cryptic words sink like venom whenever they talk to any of us, stressing us out.

Sylvia. I'd heard of Rafta, conquered by a witch-queen only to be 'defeated' by a scoundrel of heroes. An average story like always, but I wish my happy shivers came back on the part they all died. Well most of them. That blue-eyed Robin character defeating MAEven. Tell him to watch his back, or else something will creep up again~ Just kidding~........... Am I?

Sylvia: Damn it! Something tore apart Professor Calypso's picture! It's a bad luck thing... Whenever his face comes up on every frame, there's always something blocking it or it mysteriously shreds a piece.

Quinn: From a glimpse of him, I can see he's wearing a mask over a wrap?

Sylvia: I don't know much, only heard rumors of why and how. But if it not were for him being my homeroom teacher, then I would've never passed my college... Oh! Here's his letter!

Dear Sylvia,

I am writing this to you from The Gallant Tower, where the stars are now aligned to The Adventurer. It reminds me of you, and I hope you have a wonderful life in Rafta. How was it? Did you make any friends? Any connections?

I'd heard your uncle is actually alive, which is a relief and concern. You might need to detail me more on that.

And you not only succeeded on paying the debt, but you'd won in a tournament five times, making yourself popular in public. I am more than proud at your growth, and must advise you to keep your chin up even at the darkest of times. Things might come soon, and a trusty hand will need your aid for it, so you must use the right cards for the best advantage.

Oh, and Raven wanted to say hi.

HI SYLVIA!

Sylvia: Raven's his daughter... I think she's turning 18 soon!!

[maximura]

MAX'S FAVOURITE SONGS OF 2024

A bit late with this but I have to continue the fine tradition of making my music list that nobody reads. I'm going to include KPOP and Non-KPOP on the list this year because KPOP is a big boy now, it can stand with all the other music out there. I have also included some songs that were released in 2023 but I discovered in 2024.

Maniac by VIVIZ (November 2023). I really miss GFriend and this song, and this group, really fills the void left behind from the disbandment. It's great dance-pop music with just the right amount of sentimentality and nostalgic storytelling of young love and romance. This was also my pilates song. It's such a disco banger.

Cosmic by Red Velvet (June 2024). Just fun. The Midsommar MV was so weird and fun, which is something they do so well. I really appreciate how consistent they've been throughout their career and I also like that they haven't really done concepts to "compete" with younger girl groups, they've just stayed in their lane and continue to perform material they know they do well. Mature legends.

Too Sweet by Hozier (May 2024). Was he on everyone's list this year? He should be. My expectations for music is so low these days that when he released this, I was unfairly shocked he could write so many good songs and certified hits. Of course he is an exceptional talent so I don't know why I am always still *shocked-pikachu* whenever he opens his mouth to say or sing anything.

Not Strong Enough by boygenius (March 2023). You know that feeling when you think about an old school friend you lost contact with? Or an old boyfriend/girlfriend that you still think fondly of? Or all those dreams you used to have for yourself as a child that are just not realistic anymore in adulthood? Yeah. This song sounds like that.

Birds Of A Feather by Billie Eilish (September 2024). Just beautiful and gentle and lovely and comforting in a slightly toxic love kind of way, lol. It took me a long time to get on board with her music and vibe but I really love her album. It's just so comfortable somehow.

Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter (June 2024). I know people loved Espresso but PPP is my favourite from her because I liked the simpler pop melody paired with that music video, which is also one of my favourite videos released in 2024. I think it's cute! If you've never dated a criminal you can't judge me! Actually, you should totally judge me....

APT by Rosé and Bruno Mars (October 2024). Flawless Pop. No notes. Just fun. Puts me in the best mood. Audio-Serotonin.

Die With A Smile by Lady Gaga and Bruno Mars (August 2024). A good year to be Bruno Mars. That is some God Given Talent and Vocals. This is just euphorically enjoyable pop music. That's all. People who called this boring have no joy in their lives and hate for hating's sake. Singing this song at karaoke after three bottle of lychee soju will project you onto another astral plane.

Mamushi by Megan Thee Stallion (August 2024). This was such an impressive MV. She and her team did not have to go as hard as they did for a song that is under 3 minutes long. This is the song I most associate with Ni-Ki and I cannot tell you how many times a month 'Okane Kasuge watashi wa suta' gets stuck in my head. Speaking of Kane, please watch Gohan learning this word if you want a laugh.

Chk Chk Boom by Stray Kids (July 2024). I never thought they'd ever appear on my End of Year lists again but here we are. I just think it's so fun and silly. I really like that choreo on them. Hyunjin is still so powerful. That's all to be honest. Sometimes junk food is just delicious.

Big Dawgs by Hanumankind (July 2024). June and July really were serving so many hits damm. This song was all over social media in 2024 but it's still so fun. I need everyone to just watch a tiny bit of this crazy MV. I want to know how the heck they did that lol. It reminds me of being in literally any part of south east asia and people just driving in any way they want. I would've loved if Ni-Ki picked this song for his Artist of The Month thing.

Walk by NCT 127 (July 2024). This was so fun. It's very 90s vibes, which means I ate it up several times. If I could attend any dance practice, it would be this one because they all look like they are having the best time with the music and also just hanging with each other. Pretty sure I'd be banned from any Enhypen dance practice...

Dancing In The Flames by The Weeknd (September 2024). I love this acoustic version more than the original. It's just like Billie's song where it seems sweet but then it's about a car crash. He is a flawed person (but isn't everyone?) with a beautiful voice.

We Can't Be Friends by Ariana Grande (March 2024). Sus personal drama aside, her voice is just gorgeous and I love the calmness of this song. I've heard some people say it rips off Robyn's Dancing On My Own and I agree. It's Robyn if she meditated and took a benzodiazepine.

SOS by NCT Dream (December 2023). I heard this in 2024 so it counts. I absolutely love this song and this performance. Is there anything Mark Lee cannot do, he's hoarding too much talent. Anyways, this a controversial take I guess but one I've had for so many years: Park Jisung is still the most technically clean dancer in the hip hop genre of this current active generation to me. Ni-Ki is a dirtier and spicier variant, like remember when Coke used to actually contain cocaine? Jisung is Coke. Ni-Ki is Coke with cocaine.

Enough by ATEEZ (November 2024). This what it would sound like if Taylor Swift wrote a song for Ateez. I don't mean this in a derogatory way. I love this song. It's very uplifting and cute and sometimes you need that.

Accendio by IVE (April 2024). I love the MV and concept so much. Their SWITCH album was just solid fun kpop. They're still my favourite girl group right now and I think they've consistently been on my End Of Year lists since debut.

Armageddon by AESPA. My favourite girl group choreo this year. Just so slick and so fitting for the song. I didn't think much of them at debut but they've really levelled up a lot.

Supernova by AESPA. Absolutely hated this song when it came out and then one day, I loved it. It's just spunky and fun and good energy.

Moonstruck by Enhypen (July 2024). This is my favourite song off the Romance Untold album. The production on their vocals is just so lush and darkly gorgeous. I'm sure it's supposed to be a love song but as with most of their material, it has a slightly concerning undercurrent, which I like because I'm an emo bitch till the day I die.

Hundred Broken Hearts by Enhypen (July 2024). The chorus is whatever but the verses are beautiful and melancholic. That melody reminds me of really old asian dramas that my mum used to watch when I was a kid. There's something very vintage about this song and I mean that as a compliment. I'm so glad they let Ni-Ki sing. I'm sorry I literally cannot stop inserting him into so many comments.

Still Monster by Enhypen (November 2023). This song and the one below are my writing songs (along with the Interstellar OST by Hans Zimmer). I still listen to this one a lot. I remember watching the live performance and being really confused by how nice their vocals were in the high and low bits. It's so satisfying to listen to.

Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex (March 2017). Yes I know. This song is SEVEN years old. But this is the song I write most of my stories to, especially if it's for Yunho, this is his theme song. I'm not even going to try and figure out why I picked this one out for him. It's what he sounds like in my head.

Smart by LES SSERAFIM (February 2024). This is my most played gym/work out song. The driving beat really helps get in one more run and one more core cycle. I'm still not sure about them as a group, they do seem all over the place at the moment, but at the same time I do see a lot of potential and I love Bangs (Chaewon) as a performer.

Messy by Lola Young (June 2024) The lyrics? Relatable. The songwriting? Magnificent. The trauma? Heavy. The comfort? Heavier. The Vibes? Bittersweet in the best way. There's something here that reminds me of Pre-Fame Chappell Roan but also Stevie Nicks. If you have damage, been gaslit by narcissists your whole life and are looking for a comforting theme song, I highly highly recommend this one. It's one of those "Written For Me" cathartic bangers that come around once every five years. When she sings "And don't say hello, because I got high again and forgot to fold my clothes", I ascended. If you know you know.

Good Luck Babe by Chappell Roan (April 2024). Speaking of cathartic bridges. I was obsessed with this song when it came out. I thought, "it can't possibly be as good as people say" but it is. She is immensely talented and makes music that reminds me of my university years. This one is particularly relatable because there have been so many boys that have said this to me and who I have said it to. It feels awful no matter which side you're on. I guess the recurring theme for 2024 is that I love songs about relationships that end up in flames lol. Nothing inspires art like heartbreak.

Ice On My Teeth by ATEEZ (November 2024). I loved it. The production, the backing track, the pitch of all their vocals contrasted with Hongjoong's staccato rap and Jongho's harmonisations. This is one of those eras where they get everything right; they really showed up, understood the assignment and put in the necessary work. When they commit so wholeheartedly as a group, you can't help but buy into it and commit with them. My favourite parts of this song are (in order): Yunho's intro (perfect tone perfect pitch perfect delivery ugh), Mingi's second rap verse (straight up murder) and then the chorus (so cool). Also, shout out to the KQ staff member who read Maybe Monster and put it in motion, you're a real one and I appreciate you.

Fatal Trouble by Enhypen (May 2024). You already knew this would be be here. It is my most listened to song in 2024. I genuinely love the melody and the pop-rock production was perfect: not too obnoxiously westernised but also not too muted, as KPOP tends to have it. It's the exact style and type of song I love to listen to. You know those songs that you over emote really loudly and cathartically in the privacy of your own home? This is that song for me. The choreography also unexpectedly became my favourite KPOP choreo for 2024, that moving-picture sequence around Heeseung was magnificent, and exactly what the song needed. This song is also why Nishimura Riki is in my life, so Amen and Thank You God.

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Do you have any books to recommend for people who are new to writing but want to get into it? Ive got some money to spend on books and I’m not sure where to start, and I don’t wanna buy something that’s not worth it :,) but you’re one of my favourite writers and I trust that your taste is good considering your writing is beautiful 🫶🏾

ANONNNNN I’M SO SORRY THIS IS SUCH A LATE RESPONSE 😭😭😭 i spent … a little too much time stressing over what books to include. and how to describe them. blame my faulty brain ok!!!

BUTTTT first of all!!! i’m so honoured that you’d think to ask me this!!!! and that you trust my taste!!!!!! that you think my writing is beautiful (i sobbed btw) YOU’RE SUCH A SWEETHEART… thank you very much 🥺🥺

i decided to make a list of some of my overall favorites, but pls remember that writing is subjective!!!! i hope you can find at least one or two books on this list that intrigues you, and that you’ll end up liking the way they’re written too, but. y’know. there’s never any guarantee!!! i added links that’ll take you to goodreads, where you can check the summaries and reviews of each book to hopefully make the process easier for you 🫡🫡

with that being said!!! here are some ari book recs just for you <3333

war of the foxes - richard siken

my absolute favorite poetry collection, from my absolute favorite poet <3333 i’m assuming that you’re looking for novels rather than poetry but. i HAD to rec this one. because i love it soooooo dearly and it’s inspired my writing so much!!!! siken’s use of language is just …… sooooo tasty. so good. i’m completely obsessed with him. his other poetry collection is called crush and centers around tenderness/sex/violence (and the ways they blur together), but i’d say this collection is more about. art. making art. it’s also about love and war and. lots of things. but art is a big theme. paint on paint. etc. it made me severely ill in the best of ways <33 i really couldn’t recommend it enough!!!

eureka street - robert mcliam wilson

this book is . sooooo underrated 😔😔 i hate it so much. not the book i just hate that it isn’t widely renowned because it SHOULD BE. i read this for one of my high school english classes and it. changed my brain chemistry forever. it’s so good. wilson’s writing is so insanely gorgeous?? it reminds me so much of the writing in disco elysium (my fav video game + biggest writing source 🙏)…. honestly i think it’s worth reading for the writing alone. anyway!! this is a book about love. it starts with the quote ”all stories are love stories.” it’s also about the troubles, which is a conflict between catholics and protestants in ireland during the late 1900s. this book takes place at the end of a period of terror and bombings, but still manages to be about love first and foremost. the main characters are charming and silly and kind of insane in the head <33 this book is VERY funny btw… it had me laughing out loud a lot but also had me feeling so much. it’s so, so heartfelt. you can tell wilson loves belfast. and you can tell belfast loves its people. this book is so special to me and i don’t think i can explain its entire appeal with just words, so you’re just gonna have to trust me when i say it’s wonderful <33

the human flies - hans olav lahlum

do you like murder mysteries 👀👀….. i do. this is my favorite one. it’s very near and dear to my heart!!! the human flies is a classic whodunnit where a man has been killed in his apartment complex, and the other residents are all suspects. it’s about trauma. kind of. and it has a really good historial twist where it turns out that they’re all connected through ww2… but i think the greatest charm point of this book (aside from the mystery) is its characters!! they’re all really vibrant and charming. or not so charming. but they’re hard not to get attached to i think!!! this book also subverts the detective genre by making its detective really useless which i love <333 he ends up being contacted by a girl in a wheelchair who’s basically sherlock holmes and she does all the mystery solving. it’s great. if you’re into the murder mystery genre then i really recommend this one!!

beartown - fredrick backman

THIS BOOK . god. this is another one that i can’t really talk about coherently because it means so much to me. i think every single person on this planet should be strapped to a chair and forced to read it <333 this is a book about…. literally everything. if i had to pick just one thing it’d be community. but like… it’s about family. it’s about friendship. it’s about hockey. it’s about sexual violence and locker-room culture and their devastating consequences. it’s about cherry blossoms and the hope they carry. it’s about healing. it’s about a small town and the people who live in it. every single one of them are interesting. when it comes to the actual plot… i think it’s best to go in blind but i doooo feel obligated to tell you that the center of the book’s conflict is a rape. the first half of the book introduces beartown, its famous hockey team, its people and their stories. the second half deals with the consequences of this rape. backman wrote this book so, so thoughtfully. the topic is obviously sensitive but you don’t need to worry about the perpetrator not getting what’s coming to him, because he will. and ohhhhh BOY backman’s writing. his writing is so unbelievably pretty. that’s the best word for it. he’s literally carrying swedish literature on his bare shoulders. holy fuck. in conclusion; this is maybeeee my favorite book of all time? and you should read it :3 it’s very long but i promise it feels so fast once you get into it. it’s the kind of book that i think everyone can fall in love with!!!! it really did change my life i think.

the travelling cat chronicles - hiro arikawa

honestly, i think this is the book i’d recommend to you the most!! not because of quality (though definitely that too!!) but because i think it’s perfect for someone who’s just getting into reading. minus points for being kindaaa long but that’s all!! i think i should preface this by saying that this book made me cry LMAO. ugly cry. sob. i’ve never cried so hard reading a book before…. it wasn’t a bad cry though!! this book is sad but it’s also so charming and hopeful and sweet. it’s about a cat who travels around the country with his owner satoru(!!), not knowing where they’re going or why they’re going there. the kitty is the narrator and he’s sooo charming. satoru is too. their dynamic is so precious :(((( if you love cats then you’ll love this book, trust me!! anyway… to me this is a great pick for new readers because the writing is super pretty but also really. easy to chew? the story is also written in a very compelling way which should make it a pretty quick read despite its lenght!! it’s very much a roadtrip book :3 i love it a lot and even though it made me cry i consider it a bigggg comfort read (but i’m a jjk fan so take that with a grain of salt)

the stranger - albert camus

ok so!!! i did try not to add any classic books to this list because honestly i don’t think many of them are good introductions to reading. the educational system could learn from me . BUT…. this is one that i think you can get really hooked on even if you don’t study literature. this is a book about . existentialism. or just apathy (and overcoming it)… the protagonist doesn’t really want much in life. he just follows the herd. he’s basically like…. just some guy?? but also very much Not just some guy. because just some guys don’t answer their girlfriend’s proposal with ”if you want to.” or chainsmoke. or kill a guy because ”the sun was too hot.” yeah. he’s very charming (<- worrying taste in men), very weird and very interesting. most analyses on this book are just attempts to diagnose him. the central conflict of the book is the murder he commits, and the trial that follows, where the attention shifts from his actual murder to… the fact that he didn’t cry at his mother’s funeral. hm. this book is really fun. :3 and i love camus’ writing!!! like many books on this list it’s pretty but easy to chew, so i think you’ll enjoy it. read if you want to Think about life. or if you want to see meursault have his bisexual awakening in the middle of a murder trial.

the great gatsby - f. scott fitzgerald

jay gatsby they will never make me hate you…. remember what i just said about not wanting to add classics to this list? the great gatsby is another exception <333 honestly i just . really love this book!!! it’s such a short and tasty read!!!!! i’ve heard that american students really hate it because they were forced to read it and like . i sympathize but 🤨 c’mon. there are sooo many classics that are so much more hellish to read for school…. they don’t know how good they have it……. anyway. the writing is very pretty and the descriptions are soooo…. captivating. so many lines are stuck in my brain. (”they’re a rotten crowd. you’re worth the whole damn bunch put together” my BELOVED <333) people will tell you that this book is about the futility of the american dream and it IS but i also think you should make your own interpretation!!! because there are lots to make. personally i favour the queer one <33 because i’m…. me. gatsby is just . such a tragic character. but also so pathetic. and charming. he’s one of my og meowmeows. this book is worth reading if only for him. i need to dip him in olive oil.

kafka on the shore - haruki murakami

…. sigh . look 😔😔 do i like haruki murakami? no. do i like his writing? unfortunately yes. this book is fucking wild and kind of gross in . a plethora of ways (tw for umm cat beheadings? almost rape (in a dream)? fantasy incest kind of maybe…?? it’s not as bad as it sounds but like. it kinda is. idk.) but for some reason it’s still one of my favorites. i feel like murakami’s classic blend between fantasy and reality stays the same throughout his works and it’s just….. reallyyyyy tasty to me. i think that’s why i still think of this book so often. it really really moved me. and i mean…. let’s face it, his writing is very pretty. this is a book about growing up and it really doesn’t shy away from the discomforting topics that come with that. it’s also about talking cats and mommy issues. kafka has lots of them. i think he’s kind of annoying. the other characters are very charming though!! in this book you basically follow two different plot lines, and both are really captivating imo… buuuut the book is Very Long and very weird so i don’t know if i’d recommend it to someone who’s just getting into reading 😭 it really is very good though… if nothing else, read it for the Vibes. they’re very tasty.

waiting for godot - samuel beckett

this is a fun one <333 and a weird one. NOT a good rec for a new reader lmao but i do have to add it because i adore samuel beckett…. and this is my favorite play!!!!!! it’s usually associated with absurdism which i think says enough on its own. this is a play about…. waiting for godot. that’s all <3 the two main characters, didi and gogo, are basically stuck in a timeloop where they wait for godot to come. he doesn’t. they keep waiting. i adore this play for many reasons but some of them are: timeloops my beloved (1), didi & gogo are super funny and gay and their back-and-forth dialogue kinda turns into poetry sometimes (2), it’s SO much fun to analyze (3). godot can literally be whatever you want him to be. that’s so fun!!!! it’s a weird play but if you want to get into reading plays then… it’ll be here <33

giovanni’s room - james baldwin

aaaand finally!!!! this lovely gem <333 i’m actually not completely finished with it myself but i can tell you that it’s already one of my favorites!!!!! it’s about . shame. and tenderness. and morality. all that good stuff :3 i’ll try to keep this short but . basically…. it centers around a closeted gay/bisexual man who goes on vacation to paris while his girlfriend is vacationing in spain. in a certain bar, he meets a certain barman, whose name is giovanni. they really hit it off. sadly they’re doomed by the narrative. goshhhh this book is just. ough. first of all??? james baldwin is SO . fucking good. his prose is so gorgeous. soooo so gorgeous. worth reading just for that. but the dynamic between david and giovanni is …… so lovely??? and the glimpse you get into their heads is just so. beautiful. :((( this book is so SAD . but also not really. it’s bittersweet. david has to choose between a safe life and a happy life and he’s doomed to choose the safe life. that’s all there is to it.

aaaaand those are my recs !!!! i feel like i’m forgetting some really good ones……. but i don’t want to keep you waiting any longer :’3 i really hope this helps anon!!! i’m so excited that you’re getting into reading!!!!!!!! it’s really just a matter of finding writing that you actually like. i recommend searching up some quotes from each book, just to get a feel for the writing itself!!! pls know that i’m cheering you on in your reading journey 🫂🫂🫂

(and if you end up reading any of these then. pls do let me know!!! i’d love to hear your thoughts 🥺)

[soup-is-nice-sometimes]

intro!!!

hi i saw my friend (thanks peter) do this and it reminded me that i probably should too oops

hi you can call me soup or lib! if/when i reblog my irls stuff/they comment on my things theyll call me lib but its up 2 you! soup is more of an online name (after my username which, despite being "soup is nice sometimes" i love soup all the time and there is never a bad time for soup!!), oh and also im non binary so they/them pronouns please :3 and i am (as most emo/mcr fans are) queer as well (aroaspec yippee)

i love mcr and fall out boy and ryan!panic at the disco and i also appreciate dallon weekes and the rest of panic - however as far as im concerned doab was the last panic album and i dont particularly like brendon urie :skull:

i also like paramore and bring me the horizon, pierce the veil, sleeping with sirens etc and im always on the lookout for more music of that typa genre so if you think i might like smth PLEASE PLEASE SEND IT TO ME in an ask or in my dms i dont mind!!

dni's are basic criteria and im also firmly on palestines side so if you disagree w that then my blog is NOT!!! for u

ermm fun facts abt me

i dyed my roots teal over the summer like gerard's teal roots but unfortunately had to bleach it back to blonde due to my schools hair rules UPDATE ON THAT its all black/brown now :(((

i like banana candy whether its the squishy ones or fruit bursts or runts and i also rlly like liquorice!

i type kinda fast and dont always spellcheck on my laptop so uh ignore typos unless theyre fatal in which case tell me

i saw mcr when they performed the 1 (one) show in our country on march 11 2023 and thats what got me fully into them - i was a casual listener for a couple of years and my best friend offered me a spare ticket she had and away we went (we were on stage left so rays side)

i am learning french through school and get to go to france this year!!!

i have such a sweet tooth its so bad but im usually good at limiting my treats (unfortunately)

i play inline hockey which is basically ice hockey on rollerblades

i play genshin on the eu server if anyone wants to be my friend :3

also feel free to send me asks n stuff i love yapping

[verdemoun]

"being a 2010's internet teen" i just can't help but imagine isaac in his emo phase lmao

isaac's emo phase in canon. arthur morgan timewarped to see his son wear skinny jeans, black nail-polish and converse AND STILL LOVES HIM REGARDLESS.

those concerts arthur takes him to? mcr. fallout boy. peak panic at the disco. the used. jimmy eat world. tonight alive. linkin park. simple plan. evanescence (we are the fallen superiority). i should stop just listing the stuff i listened to in my phase but yes. he also would've resented being called emo but it was so obviously an emo phase

isaac only wanted a guitar so he could learn 'i'm not okay' and insisted on getting a les paul for his first guitar which of course meemaw bessie was all too happy to pay for because she will always spoil her grandbabies and please any hobby that wasn't getting him into trouble

hosea and arthur did have to team up to stop the emo sweep hair from happening and honestly thanked god when the helena music video dropped and isaac immediately decided he would instead wear his hair long and greased back with enough product it looked like it needed to be wringed out instead

everyone regularly had to remind him to turn down his headphones because hearing loss is real

it is not a phase. he is still listening to all that stuff well into adulthood when jack gets timewarps immediately gets jack into it too. they are both depressed emos who lay on the floor listening to three cheers for sweet revenge (jack's fav mcr album, isaac's is danger days)

despite having naturally black hair, isaac box-dyes his hair transylvania black and jack laughs for a solid 20 minutes when he catches him

in an angsty twist (you were waiting for it, admit it) isaac's emo phase is why he's so attached to jack, because while he was in his peak emo 'no one understands me i'm a lost boy i was born in the wrong era twice*' phase is when he found out jack marston did in fact have a book published despite being executed at only 19.

thank god for john marston being a barely okay dad because jack wrote a lot about how out of place he felt, not only with his family being the way they were while he was the way he was, but also having faint memories of the gang, sneaking glances at arthur's journal and wondering how his life would have been different if the gang hadn't been torn apart. the entries go past john's death, jack's struggles with the ranch and abigail's illness, being forced to become his dad's idea of what a man instead of deciding who he wanted to be, concluding with the vague implication he was planning to go after ross (which isaac also knows he will do, because future antics)

what could possibly be more emo than having a cousin born 100 years in the past, who is simultaneously younger than you and older than you, who becomes an outlaw, commits murder and then is executed for it? isaac understands at least chronologically how the timewarp works - that even though jack has already been executed and had this biographical fiction published - at that actual point in canon era jack is still 5 years younger than him yet to experience the things he's written about

being able to relate to jack actually gives isaac a reason to push through the bullshit of modern era adolescence and high school because he knew one day jack is going to timewarp and he is going to be right there for him. because, let's be honest, most of us emos were just mentally ill teens who didn't know where to go for help, and isaac was definitely depressed

[hellparkri]

Rain and Ice

five days before what happened to Wendy... Two young men were resting in the room of one of them; The taller of the two, and also the one who lived in that house, was called Tolkien Black, while the one who was no more than a simple guest was called Clyde Donovan.

Both guys just chatted about their lives without much else, they literally had the whole day off because the winter was particularly hard that year, the temperatures were quite low, even by the standards of their town: South Park Which was quite known for its strong climate in the coldest seasons of the year (and they lived in Colorado),  so classes were suspended that day, because of this, Tolkien had invited his best friend: Clyde Donovan to his house. And, what at first sounded like an incredible day for the duo, quickly turned into an absolute disaster... It turns out that the weather was even stronger than anticipated, it seemed as if the entire town was being shaken by an avalanche of snow and rain every minute, it was very dangerous to leave the house, even for something as simple as going to the store to buy groceries it seemed like life or death with so much hail that fell hard from the sky. It was just eleven o'clock in the morning and it seemed as if the sun had already set, and to add salt to the already painful wound, the signal was very unstable due to the weather, so the only entertainment that both boys had was to play board games... and.... little else...

-mhm... hey, Tolkien..." Clyde said with a lot of tiredness and boredom in his voice - Wouldn't it be great if we had a party? - he added, while yawning and closing his eyes at the same time.

-... Clyde... What the are you saying? Haven't you seen the weather? My God, it looks like we live in Siberia and you're thinking about going to the disco!

"No, Tolkien, we both know the weather isn't very pretty, but I doubt it's very difficult to drive and pick up Craig, Kenny, and the others!" - Clyde said as he raised his hands in excitement.

"Oh my God," sighed Tolkien. "Clyde, I don't want to sound too much of a motherfucker, but don't you remember the hell it was to drive two miserable blocks to pick you up?" I almost ran over someone for God's sake! Tolkien exclaimed in a mixture of mild irritation and strangeness.

Clyde wasn't the best at remembering events, but even he felt like a fool to forget what had happened no more than two hours ago. But he composed his animated and excited tone and leaned on Tolkien's shoulder to answer:

- Oh come on, Tolkien! Believe me, it will be much better to remember this day as "the day we almost ran over a person" than to remember it as "the day we sat in bed all day doing nothing but reminding my best friend that he almost ran over a person", Trust me,  Just invite a few friends over to the house, take them home, tell them not to damage the house, and play whatever it takes around the house! I don't know about you, but to me this sounds like a seamless plan! - said the youngest boy in the school.

Tolkien began to think about the idea his best friend had proposed, so he sat down, stretched his legs and prepared to say his verdict... only for Clyde to sit on Tolkien's lap with a hyperactive look and say:

-And if you still have any doubts or objections, if you decide to help your super best friend; YOUR **SUPER BEST FRIEND** will give you the best tips to make girls fall in love! -

After a few awkward seconds of silence, Tolkien sighed and said to Clyde, "Dude, honestly..." he sighed slightly, trying not to sound offensive. Y-I'll just say that you're not the first person I'd ask for help with girls-...

Clyde shrugged his shoulders and was a little embarrassed at what he had said; But Tolkien stopped laughing and patted Clyde on the back.

"Oh Clyde, what shall I do with you?" Dude, look, if you promise to pay for anything that happens to us or the car, I'll gladly take you wherever you want. - Tolkien proceeded to take some air while wiping away a tear- Just tell Craig and the rest that, if they want to go to our, "party"-

-Of course! - Clyde drew a smile on his face that denoted "security"... or at least what Clyde thought would make him seem more confident than he did...

"Well, let's not waste any more time!" - Tolkien got up from the floor where he was lying and extended his hand to his best friend - let's go, Clyde! -

Both boys went straight to the garage and took Tolkien's car; Tolkien had the reputation of being the richest boy in the whole town, and his car was a testament to it: With shiny tires and armed with a gleaming white chassis with reflections only comparable to those found in lakes. It truly was a masterpiece in the eyes of any car lover. Tolkien and Clyde got into the car and opened the garage door, Tolkien started the car and said to Clyde:

"Well, where are we going, boss?" - Tolkien asked in a mocking and carefree tone, worried more about the rain than about the consequences that the party they had planned could bring him if his parents discovered it.

"Uhh, well, Craig just told me he doesn't see why not go to the party, I guess we can start with him." -

-Understood! - Tolkien said while caressing the steering wheel of his car; that car was almost therapeutic to drive, he hit the accelerator and started driving straight to Craig's house. And to his surprise, snow and rain didn't seem to be quite hard obstacles for him, or for his car, it was as if Tolkien was born to drive, he loved to do it, he even considered participating in races or something like that. He was truly very happy in his car, and he was sure that if any idiot dared to damage it... well, let's just say that the person responsible wouldn't do very well after Tolkien found out. The drive took no more than five minutes, the town was small, and driving from one corner of town to another was like a walk in the park. But he couldn't feel any confusion that Craig wanted to go to a party with them. That jet didn't usually socialize much with people other than Clyde, his best friend: Jimmy Ballmer, and him. And even so, the times when he decided to go with them to events such as parties or meetings were very rare. he stopped doing it since... that day...

"Well, Clyde, we're there. I'll wait for you here, you just go and pick up Craig. - Tolkien tried to change the subject to forget about that dark day. He parked near his friend's house and opened the car lock.

"YIPEEEEE!" exclaimed Clyde with emotion, and the second Tolkien opened the car doors he saw Clyde shoot straight for his friend's house.

But sadly for Clyde, he didn't notice that the floor was extremely wet and ended up crashing his face into the wet concrete. But that didn't matter! Well, I'd finally get a chance to talk to Craig!

-Craig! We are your friends! Please come down so we can pick you up! - Clyde shouted before knocking on the door with a little force- And please hurry, the weather is fucking bad and I don't want to catch a cold, I'll have it later...! -

Without the boy being able to finish his sentence, Craig opened the door and without saying a word let him in to cover himself from the water. Clyde looked at his friend for a few seconds: He had very large dark circles, it looked like he hadn't slept in at least two days, while his hair was a complete mess, disheveled and you could tell he hadn't cut it in months. Clyde had already noticed these details in Craig, but it also hurt him to see his best friend in such a state, it just seemed as if he never wanted to do anything.

-Well? - Craig asked and then lay down in his armchair and gave a small sigh of tiredness - Why did you come? -

"Well, me and Tolkien were wondering if you wanted to go with us to a little party," said Clyde, a little worried about Craig's unkempt appearance. "We figured you'd want to come, so we drove through **all** this rain just to pick you up! - Clyde raised his hands in joy, trying to infect his best friend with it. But Craig just leaned back more on his couch and put his feet on the table, and after a yawn, the two began to argue for a couple of minutes, until Craig finally answered:

"Look Clyde, I appreciate that you drove through a damn deluge just to invite me, but I don't feel like it." Craig's short speech was interrupted by another boy entering the house; It was: Tolkien, and he was completely soaked in water and with a face that denoted extreme irritation:

-Let's see, could you explain to me why they are taking so long? Not to be a party water, but I'm just telling you that the longer we're here, the less time we'll have to go crazy at the party," Tolkien said as he wiped his completely wet hair with his hands.

"Excuse me, Tolkien. He raised his hand and moved it from side to side to greet him. "I'm really sorry for sounding like a killjoy, but I don't see the point of having a party in the middle of this weather. I mean, we couldn't go out to buy potatoes or soda or anything like that, besides, the signal is horrible, not to mention that the power goes out all the time! -

"But didn't you say you would?" - Tolkien asked somewhat surprised.

-What!? - Craig said before getting up from the couch in surprise - Dude, we both know that I don't like parties, much less one in the middle of a hurricane with snow! I would never accept that," Craig shouted in his typical irony and pessimism that had been normal in his attitude for a couple of years now. And while Craig gave his typical sarcastic smile with which he confronted Tolkien; They both turned in unison to look at Clyde, who upon hearing what Craig had said was trying to hide from their sight.

-Clyde... It was you, right? - Tolkien asked while looking at him with some embarrassment. This wasn't Clyde's attitude, well, he had always been one of the least intelligent in school, but he would never tell a lie! Or at least not one that was with selfish or manipulative intentions. So he relaxed and said:

"Clyde, why did you make me go with Craig if he didn't want to?" - Tolkien asked. But Clyde just shrugged his shoulders and lowered his head as he shook it from left to right.

-I am sorry... I just can't stand to see Craig like this anymore...~- Both boys watched as Clyde's eyes began to fill with tears... Clyde's intentions were always noble and selfless, that's when Craig felt some remorse: He saw on his friend's face how that transparent liquid fell to the ground little by little... Craig always tried to look like a boy who didn't cry, in fact, he hadn't done it in public for two long years... But when he saw his comrade Clyde like this... He couldn't help but shed a small tear as well.

-oh... look, Clyde, I'm just not in the mood to go to a party, let alone today. - Craig proceeded to point to the window, both watched as the wind pulled the surrounding bushes and trees, until it seemed that that terrifying mixture of hail, wind and rain were going to fly away Tolkien's car.

"B-but you never want to~" Clyde continued to look at Craig with eyes as big as a newborn's. Craig couldn't help but feel a mixture of pity and sympathy for Clyde. He put himself in his shoes for a moment and thought about everything Clyde had to go through: That boy had lost his mother at a very young age, the only people who were willing to help him were: Jimmy, Tolkien and Craig. He thought what Clyde must have felt when they had given him that place to comfort himself and feel better; Craig had already suffered a traumatic experience in the past... And Clyde was always there to smile at him, the same way Craig did all those years ago... The jet felt selfish, he thought about everything Clyde had to feel when he refused to do so many things with him... and finally succumbed to the sad look of his friend. Craig walked up to Clyde and bent down to hug and comfort him.

-E-it's okay, just don't cry. Please, Clyde," Craig wiped his friend's tears as he tried to relax him a bit. After that, he patted his cheeks—come on, rise champion! - After completely wiping his friend of tears, Craig stood up and extended his open hand to Clyde.

"Gr-thank you Craig~" Craig got up with Craig's help and gave him a smile from ear to ear that contrasted with his watery eyes and his face with still dry tears from his previous crying.

-No problem! - Craig couldn't help but be infected by Clyde's smile and also showed a happy face for having solved all this.

"Well, I'm glad you changed your mind Craig, I won't lie to you, I was also starting to miss you joining us to do anything" Tolkien hugged both boys on the shoulder and said to them both: - Well! All that's left is to go for Jimmy. But Clyde, please tell him ahead this time," Tolkien said as he shook Clyde's hair affectionately.

"Hehe, I guess you're right," Craig said. "V-I'm going to get a little ready and I'll come back to you, I promise it won't take that long" Craig went upstairs and closed the door to his room, the jet closed his eyes and sighed trying to let go of all the stress that overwhelmed him. He was happy to have a good time with his friends, but since that day when his partner left this world he could not help but feel extremely anxious.

[volivolition]

Omg thanks for the song recs <333

I loooooved recently by Liana Flores I added it to my bops playlist as soon as I heard the opening oooo's it was so so pretty :)))

I do also like San Fran! But in general I think the Mowgli's do good bops :)) And I love Stella by cereus bright!!!!! You're absolutely right it is absolutely a dancey vibes song and I like a lot of their other songs too!! Happier than me esp. has such toxic familial relationship vibes to me and it's so tasty

I'm so glad you liked hundred days!!!! It's one of my absolutely fav songs in the whole wide world and I'm animating something for a dnd campaign for the song so it's on my mind. I love the part in the middle where it's like the singer is screaming "I WANT. A HUNDRED DAYS. OF BRIGHT LIGHT!!!" and I can FEEL IT IN MY SOUL AND MY HEART

Never love an anchor is a classic and is a complicated motherly relationship song for all characters forever and ever <3 I love the crane wives in general but I think the garden and the well are underrated songs too

So for songs I feel along those vibes I give you:

Beloved, Mumford and sons

Thus always to tyrants, the oh hellos

Willow tree march, the paper kites

Cleopatra, the lumineers

Ophelia, the lumineers

Let's keep the recs going!! <3333

HELLO Q SORRY THIS HAS BEEN IN THE DRAFTS SO LONG (not to mention the cute echem one you sent me a long time ago OOUGH </3) THANK YOU FOR BEING PATIENT <33

yes i LOVE recently, i relate to it heavily hkjhg <33 "recently everyone says they are seeing less of me / i could do better if i had energy" LIKE. YEAH </3 HJGKJH MOWGLI'S ABSOLUTELY DO GOOD BOPS, waugh im so glad you liked my recs thank you for listening to them!!

HAPPIER THAN ME SOUNDS SO VENGEFUL HKJHG i love the somber intensity ooh it is tasty for real >:3

OMG SONG ANIMATICS, hundred days would make for SUCH a good animatic, the way that it starts with a single clear singer and then RAMPS UP THE ENERGY, it was practically built for a narrative, you could ABSOLUTELY make a dnd campaign animatic from this, i UNDERSTAND I UNDERSTAND FOR REAL. there is a very real yearning energy in this and i ADORE IT, I KNOW THE PART YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT OUGH I LOVE HOW ITS SUNG, the passion!! the emotion OUGH!!! YOU'RE SO REAL AND TRUE FOR THIS!!!!!!!!!!!

oh SO TRUE the crane wives,, ough chefs kiss!! <33

Beloved - i do love mumford and sons <33 this song is sweet awa :'] <33 i keep thinking the verses are building up to something stronger but it seems to keep steadily level? i still like it though, it's lovely <3

Thus Always to Tyrants - OH MY GOD I LOVE THE OH HELLOS SO SOSOSO MUCH THIS WAS ONE OF THE FIRST SONGS I'D HEARD FROM THEM <33 THE STEADY STAMPING BEAT THE "OOOH"S THE GUITAR STARTING UP!!!! YELLS!!! I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONG <3333 where i goooooo, will you still folloowwwww~!!!

Willow Tree March - yesss ive been meaning to get into more of the paper kites! OH WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE HKJGH i swear ive seen an animatic to this or something? i love how folksy it is, 10/10 would give my dnd party bardic inspiration while dancing around a campfire in the forest <33

Cleopatra - oh i am fond of this one, oh you could absolutely make a disco animatic out of this hkjh the first verse being harry and dora ("And it hardened like my heart did when you left town") and the second verse being kim and eyes ("So I drive a taxi, and the traffic distracts me / From the strangers in my backseat, they remind me of you") and the bridge waugh (HARRY - "And the only gifts from my Lord were a birth and a divorce" / KIM - "But I've read this script and the costume fits, so I'll play my part") and then the bedroom after the tribunal ("leads me back to my guestroom / It's a bed and a bathroom / a place for the end'') OUGH VERY NICE HJKGH <33

Ophelia - THIS ONE I DO KNOW YES YES I LOVE OPHELIA DEARLY, this song carried me through senior year of high school actually <33 i used to play this on my ukulele but it never sounded truly right hkjhg the piano in this OUGH ITS SO GOOD. oh oPHELIAH~! heaven help a fool who falls in love <3 adoreee this <33

YES i will send you some as well!! :D <33 i am not actually very good at music recs but we have surprisingly similar tastes hehe <33 thank you thank you!!

[ohheykira]

Something I truly miss is the excitement I had in the 2016-2019 Panic! At the Disco era, I was such a lil fiend for content too, I made so many friends from that era as well, now everyone just hates Brendon, the only people I see excited is on Twitter.

Middle school me, you’ll be okay, just know it was NOT a phase girl.

But fr this man is so truly himself and nice? He’s a human being who believes in equal rights, has created foundations and a music program for lgbtq+ youth, donated his stream earnings to multiple BLM organizations.

After he himself got SA’ed by fans he still supported us and loved us everyday. Omg does this man love his fans, he not only reminds them of their worth but encourages them to be the person they want to be.

Above and beyond is an understatement, he came back for a short time then proceeded to leave indefinitely to raise his child and spend time with his family (and leave from social media and spotlight to avoid harassment from anti’s)

People can be hateful, somethings come and go, but memories and nostalgia are forever 💛

[tigreblvnc]

BLUE LOCK MATCHUP — @anglefish3008

Your match is...

— Bachira Meguru

✦ Coco, you remind me of a disco ball.

✦ The kind that spins, spins endlessly, loves to party but only lights up at certain hours — at night.

✦ And I know the one who will dance with you at any hour of the day and night, whether you shine brightly or need to rest.

✦ 🐝🐝🐝

✦ Your likes section screams Bachira so loudly that I had no one else in mind :)

✦ What’s funny is that both of you radiate a very sunny energy on the outside. There’s a lot of liveliness in the way you carry yourselves, in your words. People sometimes tell you that you talk too much… That you think of too many random things with no connection…

✦ In this world, where most people can’t keep up with your creativity, it must’ve felt so refreshing to have found each other in the middle of this jungle we call society.

✦ Like, you saw each other, locked eyes… And you just knew.

✦ There are some connections that don’t need to be confirmed with words; they happen through the gaze alone. That little thing that turns two strangers into two best friends.

✦ You’re typically the kind of duo that people would think have known each other for ten years, even though you just met two hours ago.

✦ I also sense a lot of anxiety and uncertainty behind your sunny façades; it’s an aspect where you find common ground.

✦ "People tell me they can’t imagine me ever getting angry at someone or something." I can’t imagine Bachira falling into a similar state either. And in fact, I can’t remember it happening even once in the manga — it’s more about the fear of being abandoned rather than anger towards someone. Moreover, I think Bachira is more likely to direct anger towards himself than others.

✦ "It’s the best feeling to make someone smile or laugh in my opinion, it’s what I strive for!" This reminded me of the times when Isagi gets down because he can’t figure out a complicated situation. Bachira is often the one who comforts him, even indirectly, lighting up his mind and giving him the faith to rise again. Like you, Bachira is a little living, pocket-sized sun, fluttering from one place to another.

✦ Your endless source of optimism :)

✦ "He thinks his strong point is being optimistic and being able to have fun in any situation. He thinks his weak point is not worrying about things enough." Do I need to add more?

✦ The fact that you dance… I can only imagine Bachira LOVING it. Like, seriously, I see him doing breakdancing or hip-hop, street-style dancing.

✦ "LOVE CHILDREN AND IM AWESOME WITH THEM!!" Honestly, Bachira is still very much the child he was, who learned to survive school by playing football.

✦ "It’s yellow, I had to buy it." “Coco, that was 30 dollars.” “IT’S YELLOW I HAD TO BUY IT.” It’s my favorite color, and I’ve been told the color reminds people of me." ….. :D Need I explain?

✦ The connection with art is also obvious, and even though I don’t see Bachira spending a lot of time drawing like his mother, he certainly has the mindset. He’s very creative, free, original, loves doing things his own way, and follows his intuition. I think when he encounters someone who is sensitive to art, it’s already a sign to him that something good can happen.

✦ "My favorite animals are cats and orcas/any whale or dolphin." I think I’ve read the wiki of the entire Blue Lock cast at least once, and there are always a few elements that stick with me because they come a bit out of nowhere. The fact that the dolphin is also Bachira’s favorite animal…

✦ "We love to play video games and cry together when it has a sad ending." I’ve noted that Bachira is one of the few characters who openly admits to crying regularly. To me, this implies that he is very in touch with his emotions and doesn’t try to hold back. When it needs to come out, it comes out. His openness about his emotions makes him communicative, transparent, and truly honest.

✦ Your gray eyes… A passion for him.

✦ I quote: "He has a fetish for eyes. He thinks that they are where you can see a person’s heart the clearest."

✦ The fact that you share many common points gives you the advantage of knowing how to handle the other during moments of hesitation, discomfort, fear, or sadness. I see you as people who need emotional comfort rather than cold, logical solutions. You’re on the same wavelength in this regard.

✦ I see Bachira as a kind of little brother to you. I get that you have a very "best friends" relationship with yours, and I feel that’s the type of bond you have with Bachira. A strong and unbreakable connection.

✦ "Don’t know if you play Splatoon, but all Splatoon music is my favorite genre." I know the concept of this game, and I think it really fits Bachira’s aesthetic — very colorful, nervous, and fast-paced. This type of music suits him because it reflects his style of play.

✦ "Bullies are the worst."

✦ "Don’t really have a huge preference. I like all of them! Whatever way you like to express affection I will EAT UP." Bachira’s primary love language is physical contact, but I think it’s something he easily gives to anyone he feels comfortable with. We can also add quality time, as shown whenever he stays close to Isagi to give him a boost. On his end, he’s very much in need of words of affirmation! He’s a big baby who needs reassurance when he thinks his skills aren’t enough or when he’s stuck. It was even the absence of comfort that led him to a big down on the field during his match against Isagi.

✦ "My wallet is empty purely because I love giving anything and everything to the people I like." Hmm, can we talk about this detail in Bachira’s info… "He likes when he is given gifts, no matter what they are."

✦ And I keep saying this, but on a more astrological note, fire signs, in theory, tend to get along well because they adopt and understand a similar dynamic. Typically, Sagittarius for you and Leo for Bachira; this leads to an explosive, energetic relationship between two profiles who love to travel, try new things, laugh, have fun, and push themselves.

✦ OVERALL: you’re a bonfire in the hearts of your friends <3 even people who don’t know you well find you endearing, even if they think you’re a little weird. They might quietly whisper about your parents' presence in your upbringing but end up saying it doesn’t matter because, after all, you’re both radiant today.

✦ Bachira doesn’t read much, but he likes books with pictures. It’s more explicit, more alive for him. While you read sports manga indoors during the summer, he’s outside, living out everything you read through the pages. Your shonen in real time, visible from your window. And it’s funny, but that’s how you predict events happening to him.

✦ Summer being his favorite season, it’s the only real time of the year where everything opposes you. He prefers to exhaust himself under the summer sun, training his dribbles, making trips across the city to beat his record and improve his performance while you lay on the cool tiles, enjoying the chill indoors.

✦ When he comes back, he’s completely drained but with a huge, grand smile on his face because he had fun, and he plans to do it again the next day.

✦ Totally the annoying type who never closes the windows and lets everyone get eaten alive by mosquitoes.

✦ At the same time, he can never sleep when it’s that hot, so he watches movies with you. Lots of movies. And crying over sad films gives him the feeling of being less hot.

✦ Probably a soft heart when it comes to Titanic.

✦ And very sensitive to Dumbo, whose difficult situation reminds him of his own childhood. He always ends up in tears within the first few minutes of the film; it hurts so much.

✦ At the same time, you understand, and you don’t judge at all; you comfort him by taking him into your arms, letting him collapse onto your lap, even if it leads to an impromptu nap.

✦ But tomorrow is a new day, and that day belongs to football. For you, to dance.

✦ As you spend more time together, you start to pick up on each other’s athletic abilities. He begins to pull off crazy tricks on the field, inspired by your movements in the studio, while you become more and more creative and skillful with your legs, having followed Bachira’s training sessions.

✦ At some point, no one will be surprised to see him casually replace you during one of your sessions.

✦ I also think he gets along very well with children, and probably many of them adore him when he comes to see you at ballet. He’s the one around whom all the kids gather, and you always find Bachira with five kids clinging to him in all sorts of ways — on his back, his shoulders, and his legs.

✦ If he plays video games, it’s probably the ones where you have to move a lot physically, like Just Dance. All this to a pop-rock background while you coach him through the steps.

✦ Visit to the giant aquarium to watch the orcas and feed the dolphins…

✦ ^ His dream date.

✦ He spends the entire afternoon with his face pressed against the glass, watching the schools of fish. Curiously, Bachira is very quiet, so focused on the ever-moving display.

✦ When he speaks, it's to call you over and ask, "What's this species called? And that one? And that? And the one over there? Why is it doing that? Can it come up to the surface? How long can it stay underwater? Does it sleep with its eyes open?"

✦ You and him never leave this place.

"Coco?"

Bachira sticks his head through the doorframe but finds no one.   He doesn’t hear anything either.

In his arms, he holds a box with a closed lid.   Something seems to be moving inside.

"Coco, are you there?"

Usually, you're always here in the summer. You don’t like going outside, so… It’s easy for the bee to find you.   But not today.   Weird.   Where have you gone?

Still holding the box, Bachira heads upstairs. He walks past the bathroom and stops in front of your bedroom door.   He knocks and waits.   But nothing.   One minute,   two minutes…   Time stretches, and Bachira leans in to skillfully open the door with his elbow without dropping his package.

"Coco, it’s me."

Your silhouette appears, seated at your desk.   Bachira walks up behind you, smiling when he realizes your headphones are blocking out all sound.   He props the box on his left arm and gently pulls your headphones back, freeing your ears.

"Surpriiiiiiise!"   "Bachi!"   "I called you, but you didn’t hear me, so I let myself in. What are you up to?" "I’m listening to a new album that just came out, it’s pop, you might like it."   "Probably! Hey, I need to ask you something."   "What?"   "I was on my way back, and right after the bakery, I found this."

He places the box in front of you.   Intrigued, you spin your chair around and open the box, revealing three little furballs.

"Oh no… Kittens…!"   "I looked for their mom, but they were all alone, and it was really hot outside. I didn’t know what to do, but I know you like taking care of them."   "We need to call the vet. Can you get a towel? We’ll find them a cozy spot in my brother’s room."

He wasn’t home for the weekend, and until a more permanent solution could be found for the little ones, his room would become a refuge for the three little angels.

"Don’t worry, I got it. You think they’re hungry?"   "Hard to say, but they don’t look too skinny. Alright, I’m heading downstairs; I’ll be right back."

While you go to the kitchen to grab what’s needed, Bachira sets up a makeshift home for the litter, their tiny paws twitching in the air.   When you return with the supplies, Bachira is crouched down, watching the tiny felines, looking fascinated.

"So, how do they seem?" You ask. "I think they’re alright. The two small ones won’t stop fighting. The third one is still sleeping."   "That’s pretty strange, though. You said they were abandoned near the bakery?"   "Yeah. I didn’t see anyone around."   "I bet they haven’t been there long; otherwise, someone else would have picked them up. Their abandonment is probably very recent. Did you check if they were hurt?"   "The two seem fine, but I’m not sure about the one that’s sleeping. We’ll need to check the other side of its body. Did you call the vet?"   "No, I’m about to. Can you keep an eye on them for me?"   "Got it."

And while you were dialing the number,   Bachira leaned in a little closer to the lively trio.

These weren’t the first orphaned cats to end up at your place, and likely not the last.   Bachira looked over at you and smiled, whispering.

"What you do for them is really amazing, Coco."

A word about your match: A bee and a disco ball dancing under the sun :) By the way, I looked at your blog at the end of the matchup and: Did I meet a fellow Frenchie? :D

© TIGREBLVNC 2024 | SEPTEMBER ‘24 MATCHUPS EDITION.

[blackthorn-legion-irl]

answers courtesy of legion group chat + one random wooloo. i like how literally no one said 'maybe they're just friends'. that's how obvious those two are. of course, some of the respondents KNOW leon...

anyway. traveller, hope this helps. --simon

[bisnes-socks]

The Big Finnish Music Project for International Kääryleet, part 5.

Go to part 1 for all the context. We pick up where we left off in part 4, as the list is (more or less) in chronological order.

Martti Vainaa ja sallitut aineet

I'm linking this song not because of the artist but because of the song. It feels that these guys dropped this song and dipped. This song represents the sort of.. humour music genre, that started emerging in the 2000's and hit a peak in the 2010's. This song is called Pelimies, it's from 2005, and i remember this being played in my school disco when i was 12. It reminds me of exactly the sort of schoolboys as Mic Mac describes, and that’s why i wanted it on the list.

Sunrise Avenue

Apparently, if you're Slovenian, you know them..? Says Bojan. They were very popular in Finland, but I don't think their fame beyond Finland is fully like grasped by Finnish people. As far as i know, there are European countries where they were huge. This is their first hit, Fairytale Gone Bad, from 2006. They broke up a while ago, and the frontman Samu Haber is solo now. You might have seen him, if you watched UMK24 which he hosted.

Poets of the Fall

Rose to fame in the 2000's and had a few real hits, but as of today they actually have a massive cult following. One of the more influential rock bands in Finland. This video, Carnival of Rust, is also massively popular and quite a famous music video. This is from 2006 and i remember seeing this on tv a lot back then.

JUMPING INTO THE 2010'S

The 2010's saw the rise of rap and hiphop into the mainstream in a massive way. Not that they were ever marginal, but there was definitely a culture shift in the 2010's.

--

JVG

Possibly the most popular in the genre of rap currently, for the last 10 years or so, JVG are a rap duo who rose to fame in 2011 with the linked song, Häissä. They are also known for being hockey boys and weaving a lot of hockey and sports references into their music.

Petri Nygård

So this is what i meant about humour music rising to popularity in the 2010's. But y'all remember the 2010's right? It was a bit like that everywhere for a while, wasn't it. LMFAO, Gagnam Style, Duck Sauce etc etc. everyone was just being wacky for a few years, right? Well Petri Nygård was wacky and crass and stupid, on purpose. This is Selvä päivä from 2011.

Cheek

One of the most domestically successful artists in Finland. One of the rappers to bring American style hiphop culture to Finland, with the bling and the girls and the cars and the mannerisms and such, which all was becoming increasingly more popular in the 2010's. Cheek quit music in 2018. I chose this song, Syypää sun hymyyn from 2012, because Käärijä references the title line in Takavoltti.

Robin Packalen

I know some of you know him from the Käärijä boyfriend Pokedex, and from competing against him in UMK. But Finnish people knew Robin originally from making a song about a girl pulling a sick frontside ollie on a skateboard when he was 14 years old in 2012. The Robin phenomenon among teen girls in particular was nuclear in size. He's like the Finnish Justin Bieber.

Haloo Helsinki!

Domestically speaking a massively successful rock band, Haloo Helsinki! broke through in 2008 when the members were barely out of high school. They've been a constantly strong presence in rock ever since, even though they took a bit of a break a few years ago. They have their own recongnisable style and are just generally well loved in Finland. This song is one of their biggest hits Beibi, from 2014.

End of part 5. The next part takes us from 2015 to 2024, and then there is one extra bonus part for some deeply Finnish musical moments...