#It probably is I just don’t interact with the en fandom much

[miciiq]

WARATTE IYOUYO

TABI HA(WA) NAGAINN DAKARA

Ourple stingray in its natural habitat

The eepies

WORLD FUTURE STAR or something like that I forgot how it went

STAR(S)??

He fell out of the closet

Reblog if use

[beartitled]

Can you do some more comics with Francis mosses

I can, but the problem is

That I’m pretty much out of ideas and I’m progressively getting tired of tnmn fandom

Ppl who look at my tags probably noticed that 😓

More of my thoughts under read more for curious ppl

(short answer maybe I will do more, but I desperately need a break from tnmn)

! Just a general warning: this came out kinda long + sort of venty

Originally I planned to do 1 comic drop and move on, but got stuck bc ppl liked tnmn comics and kept asking for more (and still do-)

Generally I don’t mind doing more if the ideas are there, but I want to address this: I’m tired

I know blowing up is usually a good thing and I appreciate people enjoying my stuff

But it’s exhausting to see that tnmn is the only type of content which is relevant, to the point that my own projects or stuff I enjoy are just kinda.. ignored

It’s fair – again my blog is heavily fandom based

(+Tsp were and still is kinda the focus)

But with tnmn fandom it’s a bit… different

Maybe I’m biased and it’s just my negative experience with tiktok comments

Remember this art?

cleaning up transphobic comments was.. um tough

Again, I get that you can’t be in that neat bubble completely sheltered from negativity

Humans are just assholes by nature really/j

So I was expecting the backlash, but not that much

I think maybe tsp fandom spoiled me a bit (in a good way), bc I got a feeling that everyone in tsp was positive of any lgbt+ headcanons and just generally more supportive

(don’t get me wrong, there ARE problems in tsp community too, taking narrators design controversy into account as one of the examples)

Obviously every fandom always has it’s own issues, show me at least one fandom that didn’t have some sort of meaningless controversy or some sort of problematic people in it

It happens

But it leaves a bad taste in your mouth sometimes

And for me personally it only added to not so pleasant experience

The thing I also noticed, when I interacted with other fandoms

Ppl wrote positive stuff first and foremost, not really asking for anything

Here it’s just “hey more. I want more. Do more. Do this character. Do this. Do more.”

The only reason I kept doing more, because likes, reblogs, views – these comics get a ton of attention

there is a audience to please alright

But this thing comes with a pressure tho

and it shows

so let me illustrate

This bookcase

Is my shame

Because I was so rushing, I just copied and colour corrected this bookcase from my diploma comic and pasted it here in hopes for the best

💥IT LOOKS HORRIBLE OKAY💥

Usually it’s normal to take materials used in other projects

the not so normal part is

to leave it like that because your stress reducing tea doesn’t work and you don’t really have time to redraw it

my m en ta l s t a t e i s f i n e ah ah h ah ah

Ok but jokes aside: it’s really tempting, to just abandon everything and produce content like some sort of content farm

But I don’t want to, I’m forcing myself and it makes my art worse

Yes it’s subtle, new people won’t even see this

But I’m not improving

And I don’t enjoy just anxiously popping out comics because everyone keeps asking

I can give it my all to something when I’m passionate, but just “hey I’m getting attention” is not the best motivator

Attention like that does get to my head, I know that I will probably give in again and do more, bc I will compare my posts engagement

But what’s the point of recognition, when you feel.. so numb about it…

Sorry for a mountain of text and thank you for ppl who actually took their time to read it

It’s been building up for a while and I feel like people need to know the reason why I’m not so enthusiastic about making “more”

I’m not necessarily completely abandoning this fandom

I still plan to do ask/suggestions event for STP (I’m just making sure I can dedicate my time to it, that’s why it’s taking so long) and I can add tnmn to the mix

Like STP+tnmn kind of deal

But for now – I need a break

At least for a little bit

[twstedpometea]

Ugigiugi and Tracing

Hello Twst Fandom! I’ve been silently paying attention to the drama around the Ugigiugi situation and wanted to add in something in regards into this topic.

I had to take some time to track down a particular comic, but I do have proof Ugigiugi has traced from another artist i followed on Pixiv. Bear in mind this artist also posted their art collection a month before Ugigiugi made one of her comics. I’ll be sourcing the Pixiv comic below and showing the panels that obviously have a been traced.

https:// www. pixiv.net/en/ artworks/84516818 by 村上. Date of mini comic is September 21, 2020.

As you can see I pulled Ugigiugi’s and the Pixiv’s comic panels to show where the tracing is. The believe this all speaks for itself.

As an artist myself I’m going to state this very bluntly. You should not be copying/tracing someone else's drawings/comics for your own art. This goes for everyone. Older or younger; or even if they post on other social media websites. Tracing and posting things you originally didn’t create shows a level of dishonesty within the community. I checked Ugigiugi’s Pixiv account out of curiosity and a lot of her traced art isn’t hosted there. I can only hypothesize either it was once hosted on Pixiv at a point (possibly reported/taken off???), or she never posted on that website because she’s probably copied from artists there and didn’t want to get in trouble yet went ahead and posted to other social media sites for attention. (  T_T) It should go without saying that Ugigiugi appears to a chronic tracer. I have checked her DA posts and other SM posts but she has never given any artist notes on her submissions about admitting to using references, bases or even if people have “inspired” her with proper links on her traced art submissions. She just submits stuff with little description. There no shame in admitting you use references, game references or even doll bases or use tracing for the sake of learning (and only learning); that being said, giving your resources proper credit is necessary if your going to be using someones else resource for your drawing. But, it’s pretty clear Ugigiugi isn’t looking to even be an honest fanartist. Some of the artist that she has traced appear to be Japanese or of a different country and they may not have a Tumblr/Twitter/DeviantArt or enjoy interacting outside their local language websites. They might not even know their stuff is being traced which us why I am going to go ahead and link two more posts with fanart tracing for references. These posts are made by @crowstales​​ on the subject of Ugigiugi https: //www.tumblr.com/crowstales/709186361712869376/this-is-a-call-to-attention-to-ugigiugi Part 1 https: //www.tumblr.com/crowstales/709555007152963584/this-is-a-call-to-attention-to-ugigiugi-part2 Part 2 Please keep in mind I am also taking the same rule as Crowtales stated. Don't harass the artist but don't continue to support her content! If you can find the original artists she’s copied from on other art peices and can send some form of notification to let them know Ugigiugi traced them. Giving the amount of evidence that keeps showing up it’s pretty concerning how much she’s stolen and it brings to question if any of her art is legit or if it is mostly traced or pure resources that she won’t credit.   (<x<’  )  I haven’t even seen her acknowledge all of this tracing or make a public statement either. It also begs the question of if she’s just going to continue to trace things, and if so; who else’s stuff is going to be traced next? Either way, if people continue to find more evidence or find the artist she’s copied please be mindful enough to help the original artists and not tolerate tracers or any type of plagiarism within the fandom space. Thank you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ End note: At this time I am aware Ugigiugi has “left” Tumblr/deleted some stuff and has locked her twitter account. However, she still has everything she’s posted on her DA so she hasn’t stopped submitting copied artwork or hosting her older copied art. Make sure if you know someone or recognize an artist she’s traced please let the original artist know so they can properly report the art wherever else she’s posting her traced art. -TwstedPomeTea

[ryuichirou]

Replies

First of all, sorry to all of those who didn’t get my boops in return!! I send them even now but mentally. Boop.

I ended up spending all my writing time on headcanons… but still, here are some regular replies!

A couple about Idia, a couple about fandom stuff.

Anonymous asked:

THE GAY THOUGHTS ARE OVERTAKING IDIA

this seems like a pre-photo of that one art you did with idia and Lilia in the concert bathroom ngl... perhaps they are related??

Ohh, you remember that one!!

Technically yes, this is pretty much the same story, just the before and after thing lol Although they’re dressed differently in these two posts (my bad), both of them stem from the same scenario Katsu and I came up with a year ago.

Anonymous asked:

Alright, so we see how Idia reacts when someone reacts aggressively against the crap he says but what would happen if he says a snide remark to someone and then they proceed to verbally and psychologically obliterate him on the spot? Would he freeze up, talk back?

We’ve seen it with Sebek a couple of times, even though Sebek doesn’t really obliterate him psychologically (he is much weaker than Idia in this sense…), but I think Idia tends to talk back. Idia is quite stubborn, and talking back and escalating the situation is one of his biggest defence mechanisms. He is the master shit-talker and a genius of snark, so he might win against the majority of people + he is so self-deprecating that not a lot of people would know what to say to him to actually hurt his feelings – Idia berates himself much worse than that on a regular basis + expects that everyone hates his guts anyway. But I don’t think it’s impossible to shut him up using only verbal abuse… Lilia might be the one who succeeds at that, actually.

Anonymous asked:

warning, ranting here im so sorry I just need to get it off my chest :(

even if you do not see this that's ok, im a big fan of your art plus headcanons and the fact you also ship my rare pair. but recently my mutuals found out I follow you and like your art and I have troubles talking with them. sometimes they say that im supporting that type of behaviour by interacting and im torn. I am not sure what to do. I personally do not mind your shroudcest, they are fictional and you probably do not support it. sorry for the rant and assumptions. English is not my first language so im sorry if it's hard to understand.

Hi, Anon! I am very happy you like our stuff and I really appreciate that you just ignore the things that you don’t particularly like: I feel very lucky that we have people like you now.

It’s very unfortunate that your friends make you feel bad about following us, I am very sorry to hear that. And I can’t tell you how to deal with your friends, since I don’t know what kind of relationships you have, but I always say it: a friend should be able to see past someone’s interests and be open-minded, and not make you feel horrible for liking certain things that don’t harm anyone. And you don’t even like those things – you just ignore them and like something completely different. How is it supporting me? It doesn’t even affect stuff that we post and draw – I would’ve drawn all that anyway.

If you want to hear it: I don’t support any of the problematic themes that I draw in real life. This is such an obvious thing to me, such a given, such a common sense thing, that it’s honestly very offensive that someone might even consider that this isn’t the case simply because I draw certain stuff. Please note that you are not offending me, Anon, you’ve done nothing wrong and I’m just venting back. People throw assumptions so easily just to harass us or their friends for supporting us, those are such big words and allegations, it’s honestly messed up that this is a norm.

But I digress. I could only suggest you to reflect on your relationship with those people and try to make compromises that make sense for you. It’s easy to say, but try not to let them bully you. Try not to let people who don’t trust you enough to know that you wouldn’t condone stuff like that irl dictate you how you live your life. This is a game that you can’t win: even if you stop supporting me, it’s not a guarantee that you won’t get smacked for something else in the future. I don’t know your friends. But a lot of people experienced that. It’s mentally challenging trying to walk on eggshells all the time, especially because of something that’s not even true, so take care of yourself.

Thank you once again for your message. I hope things get better.

Anonymous asked:

I hope this doesn't come off creepy but as someone who creates art and fic of an incesty oc!shroud x Idia ship. It makes me happy to see you supporting and creating weird unhinged stuff. For now I live vicariously through you and maybe one day I'll be bold enough to post the newer sketches I have for my story.

Thank you for your message, Anon! I am super happy that our stuff gives you some comfort and confidence to create things that you care about; it means a lot to hear that.

Also! Kudos to you for creating an incest Oc!Shroud x Idia ship hehe ^w^

[sapphicdragons-1]

my bio! (long post)

Hi! You can call me Vi. I use she/her (or they/them if you’re feeling boisterous). Any gendered compliments are welcome, but creature-related ones are encouraged! I’m also very leftist, athiest, socialist, and a punk-in-training. (i despise the government and society to some extent, but i am mostly a law-abiding citizen and a fucking coward)

Gender: thingy? I identify along the lines of genderqueer, agender, and genderfluid. I don’t stress it too much :3

I am homosexual-leaning omni and aromantic; i have a few microlabels but im fine saying just that. I experience alterous attraction and a deep emotional connection in place of romantic attraction. I am also hypersexual (not traumagenic).

Nonhuman identities: I am an Aqua dragon (original species). It fits somewhere between othermidst, othervague, heartedlink, otherkin, otherlink, and fictionkin, but is strong enough that I consider myself dragonkin. Because of this, I am avianhearted, canine and feline simil, have a lush forest hearthome, and feel very connected to bodies of water, the sun, the moon, the sky, and thunderstorms.

Hobbies: I enjoy drawing, crafting, jewelry making, sculpting, biking, gaming, swimming, frolicking, collecting, doing quads, “ruining” clothes, and just doing other gooberish activities :D

Music: I have no set music taste, but a few of my favorite categories are ambient [sign crushes motorist, Duster, Other Nothing], whatever Odetari, 6arelyhuman, and Asteria is, Radiohead, Nirvana, Franz Ferdinand, ambient 2 [Lyn Lapid, Louie Zhong], whatever The Living Tombstone, Lemon Demon, and Bo Burnham is, whatever Mac DeMarco and The Neighborhood is, vocaloid [HEAVILY including my love Kikuo], bo en, and yada yada yada. If you have any band recommendations (especially good alt bands!), send them my way!

Fandoms: Too many to count, but my mains are OMORI, Wings of Fire, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Heathers, and many, many more. I am also a furry :3

I am also very involved in communities such as alterhuman, alternative, neurodivergent, and punk, but these are not fandoms.

I live in the midwestern U.S.

This account is geared towards teens and young adults. If you’re over 30 and we haven’t interacted, probably let me give you a vibe check before you follow

i’m a bit of a chronic attention seeker, and will do things or amplify things sometimes that might be subconciously for attention. please be patient, and don’t be rude to me when it happens, i have quite a few microtraumas surrounding this :/

will be fine with people goofin off in my asks!

might do commisions for sketches, doodles, moodboards, backgrounds, and maybe stimboards.

Tag system!

#kaeposting - kin stuff! #kaecreates - stuff I made that relates to my kintype

#kaefrolicks - picures or videos of the forest, and maybe videos of quads in the future

#kae rambles - dragon go bla bla bla

#vi’s updates - updates about my life

#vi’s passion projects - crafts because slay

#vi’s wonderful world of pretty things - pretty pictures of scenery, jewelry I love, and maybe some outfits. room maybe

#eye of the storm wings of the heart - pretentious ahh name. storm stuff, nice water sounds, avianhearted stuff, basically all my secondary kin things

#+££+|~| - vents. typically angry due to my nature, under the cut with a warning. stylized “teeth”

#€|@\/\/$ - vents. typically obsessive thoughts / talking about hypersexuality. stylized “claws”

#aqua dragons 🪷 - info on or relating to my favorite lil creatures! lilypad as to not to be confused with shrimp or water dragons.

This is a safe place for queer, MOGAI, LGBTQIA, POC, alterhuman, ALL systems, endels, lycanthropes, zooanthropes, physical nonhumans, neurodivergent people (not just ADHD and autism! [them too] ALL! /friendly), age and pet regressors, people with kinks, so on and so forth. I can’t think of many others, but the rule of thumb for paras is [TW]:

If you are a ped0 or zo0, you better be no-contact, as well as pro-treatment for yourself as well as pushing it for others. If you aren’t both of these, get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me. No exceptions.

If you are a necr0, I’m somewhat more fine with that. However, for the love of nonexistent god, please don’t actually make contact with dead things. Just out of respect.

If ur smthn like objectum thats coolio js dont tamper with other people’s property ty

I’d vastly prefer if paraphilia wasn’t discussed on this blog, for the comfort of me and the thingies around me.

If you either don’t wan’t to, or don’t, hurt others, you’re fine. Example: Nonhumans with a prey drive getting the urge to kill small animals without following through, and people with mental illnesses / personality disorders hurting others without meaning to and feeling remorse. You are loved, and you are safe here.

DNI: Bigots, transphobes, homophobes, anti-feminists, radfems, TERFS, conservative people, extensively religious, anti-endel/clinical ‘thropes, antifurries, antikins, and other generally dislikable people. tryna use mild language ‘cause this varies wildly in severity.

And I would prefer if Abrahamic religion was kept out. It’s fine to believe in that god, but I would prefer if it wasn’t brought up much on this blog. thank you for your consideration :)

and I think that’s all! I’ll link the Guide to Aqua Dragons below when I make it! thank you for your time

WARNING: BLINKIES AND EYESTRAIN

:3

[klvm0nn]

SELF-INTRODUCTION POST

Hello helloooo hello heeeellooo!!!! It’s been…five or six months since I started posting here and I’ve just realized that people know literally NOTHING about me. Sooo made a little intro just to make things clear

My irl name’s Camilla, but you can call me Pamilla or Cavilion! I’m more used to Pamilla, but it’s okay if you’ll give me another nickname, I like them.

she/her, Caucasian

(it means that my people are from Caucasus, like a region, but for some reason yall use this word to describe any white person🤨)

I’m from Russia, but please please please consider that I’m not Russian!!! this country is very multicultural!!! I can speak English, Russian et en peu de français (mais ce n’est pas ma langue préférée, je fais beaucoup des fautes, haha)

fandoms I’m in rn: slashers, Black Christmas 1974, DoL, 8:11 and serial experiments Lain.

Actually I just like brainrotting here about the things I like. Thankfully tumblr allows me to do that and people are really nice here!!!

I love drawing, but I usually post only fanarts here! The biggest part of my life is the Internet. I’m literally an internet girlie(*´꒳`*) I had access to it since childhood and, uh, well, the consequences are the fact that I’ve grown into a person who’s REALLY into horrors, horror stories, games, films etc. I’m also into religious stuff, but I’m not too religious myself, it’s just a simultaneous fascination and disdain for religious aesthetic. I have sorta transhumanistic views, but I don’t know about it much, I just think scientists should transfer my brain into a computer one day. I really like the early internet vibes cuz my personality was heavily influenced by its culture.

I’m very dreamy, I enjoy listening to music and imagining things. I love making new friends or just talking about stuff so please PLEASE don’t be afraid to dm me^_^ Oh yeah and just a reminder that English is not my native language and if I make some mistakes or say something that is hard to understand or strange, feel free to correct or ask me to explain what I meant:)

I’m a real chill and I don’t really care about things too much, but if you’re a person who hates someone because of their race, nationality, culture, if you harm animals, if you consider it’s okay to bully little kids or you tolerate all the mentioned things, please, do NOT interact with me ^_^

Oh yeah please consider that even if my “dni” (or as I like to call it “kys”) list doesn’t contain basic dni, it DOESN’T mean that I support everyone else. My blog is not a safe place for all the -phobes and -philes, if your actions are not approved by society, it’s more likely not to be approved by me either. You may follow me and like my posts, but don’t be surprised if I block you or if one day I’ll make fun of your community or even YOU if you directly spread yo shit over my page lol

YEAH so I’d also like to introduce you my sona (or persona or internetsona idk)

HER NAME’S PAMILLA and she’s literally me, but as an internet physical form. She’s like a metaphor of what I am and how I behave in the internet, cuz you know, people online differ from people irl haha. Here are some photos of her and some funny pictures I found while searching for her photos. Hope y’all enjoy!!!1!

I’ll probably edit this post later. I definitely forgot to add some important things so uhhh this is not the final result!!! See ya soon

[lerry-hazel]

Back to "Ghosts"

So, I’m done with s5, and can, once again, interact with the tag freely 😊

Thankfully, there were no nasty surprises. I mean, some things I’d rather not know, but I get where they come from, if not narratively, then metatextually speaking. I’ll probably whine about that later, just to indulge my annoying pedantic side, but I don’t truly feel bad about any of that.

I kinda wish for more stories related to ghosts actually being helpful, like the “Judo” thing in s4, - or even just “random fun facts”, in the most recent « En français » style (a plausible explanation of how Robin managed to learn Russian would be exciting; but, gosh, does someone need to dust their – untranslated – copy of “The Idiot”, хи-хи, and get in the habit of reading a page a day).  Yet, frankly, it already felt like they’d run out of stories to tell when s4 went full circle, and I remember how much I struggled to just come up with a list of useful lifetime skills and fun facts about each of the ghosts for my fic at that time.

The point is, I, surprisingly, am not really freaking out about “Ghost” being well and truly over, – except when I take notice of how fast I’m going through available fics: my lack of enthusiasm for all major pairings of the fandom certainly doesn’t help. I do, however, still love their family dynamics, so, I’ve devised a plan to enjoy their company a little longer: which includes making more chibi dolls, but also maybe coming up with another fic.

Of course, the Modern Day!AU I wasn’t writing anyway is completely off the table, now that Havers is definitely not evil (not that I ever truly believed it), and not even tragically dead; which leaves me with the Distant Future Reincarnation AU. Granted, for now it’s more a concept than a story, and I probably have to see my current fic to the bitter end first, but, if I ever decide to give the silly Space Opera thing a go, there is one question I need to figure out.

[brokskar]

Thanks for the tag!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

8. And counting.

2. What’s your total AO3 count?

If we’re talking words, 196,882.

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

So far, I’ve only published Hetalia fics. I am currently working on some Ninjago stuff as well.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Calm After the Storm, Mise en Scène; when it rains, it pours; folly of men; when you go quiet

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

I haven’t published it yet 🫢🤫

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Probably Nobody Will Love You (Like I Do). It’s a one-shot so there’s less room for me to ruin things emotionally, haha.

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I have not written any crossovers. No shade to anyone who does, but I just can't get behind it.

8. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Nope. Not my cup of tea.

9. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! When I first started publishing works, I didn't plan to, mostly because I wanted to be perceived as this mysterious, brilliant writer who just pops in to post some genius work and then disappear, never knowing when they’d return... But I learned quickly that that’s boring, and I much prefer to interact with anyone who takes the time to read and comment on my stuff. It builds community.

10. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I don't think so? Nothing legit, anyway. Every so often I’ll see something and think “Now what was the point of saying that?” But I’m very grateful to those who comment encouraging and introspective things on my works. :)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't believe so.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

There was an attempt that ultimately fell through, but I’m relatively positive that it’ll happen some day.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

If you’ve read any of my works, you know it’s DenNor. Literally the only thing I've ever written.

15. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but you don’t think you ever will?

Ugh. I want to write canonverse so bad. I’ve started to. Something deep and angsty about how horrible it is to be a nation, the immortality and all that... It’s been done before, and brilliantly too, I just don’t know if my perceptions will gain the traction that I want for it. And I’m never fully satisfied with how I write it either.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I’ve been told I capture a lot of emotion in my writing. I always want to disagree, and to say that I could do so much better if I really tried, but I’ll take it, lmao. I personally like the way I write dialogue. I try to make things as real and natural as possible.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Transitions, in my opinion. Also acquiring the length I want. The chapters I post are never as long as I want them to be, but I can’t find a way to say everything I want to say all the time. So I just leave it.

18. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I’m all for it if it’s done right! I’m very particular about how writers incorporate more than one language. I tend to copy the Markus Zusak route--in The Book Thief, he’d write German dialogue first, and then follow it up with an English iteration. For example: “Hva heter du?” he asked. “What’s your name?” Some may disagree, but I think it flows really well, and when it comes to fic, you don’t have to scroll to the bottom or have the flow interrupted with parentheses trying too explain things. It translates it right there in the story without taking you out of the story.

19. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Technically Ninjago, when I was eleven. I didn’t post it anywhere. Then came Hetalia, when I was thirteen. Still didn't post anywhere. Hetalia was the first (and only) fandom I’ve published works for, starting in 2020.

20. What's your favorite fic you’ve written?

Good question! I really love when you go quiet. Very fun for me to write and I’m happy with the praise it received. I also like Nobody Loves You (Like I Do) a lot, and I’ll be turning that into a short series soon, so keep an eye out! 😋 I think I like my shorter works more, because I’m scared if I reread my chaptered works I’ll notice plotholes and other issues. 

Tagging: anyone who wants to play along! I’m horrible at tagging people!

Fic Writer Questions

Thank you for the tag :D @spinyfruit

1.) How many works do you have on AO3

34! they're mostly Oneshots and drabbles.

2.) What’s your total AO3 count?

208,218

3.) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Just Hetalia

4.) What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. I call it a draw (Rochu/ Amechu)

2. Nerium Oleander (rusamechu)

3. We need to talk (Rochu)

4. Secret (Rochu and one sided Rusame/ Amechu)

5. Western pleasure (Rusame)

5.) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

It's either Together (rusamechu) or I'll come back to you (RomeChu)

6.) What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Sublime since Itapan is my comfort ship I usually write fluff about them

7.) Do you write crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven't done this o:

8.) Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yeah, I have a couple of Oneshots and Nerium Oleander has smut too. I guess they can be described as explicit m/m, tough I think it's mostly Rusame or Rusamechu smut

9.) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to, sometimes I forget or just don't know what to say. I think it's nice to reply, as a reader I get happy when an author replies so...

10.) Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Not really

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes! Three of them. Nerium Oleander, I call it a draw and I'll come back to you were/are translated into Chinese (⁠ ⁠≧⁠Д⁠≦⁠)

13.) Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not yet

14.) What’s your all time favorite ship?

The black triangle trio (rusamechu) and whatever pair comes out of it

15.) What’s a WIP that you want to finish but you don’t think you ever will?

We need to talk, idk I've reached the point of not knowing what's next in the story. It's probably the only fic I didn't really planned before hand, and it wasn't supposed to have multiple chapters haha

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I like to think that descriptions when it comes to settings and like the overall mood of the chapter/story is what stands out. Also I think I'm getting better at foreshadowing :D

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Probably pacing, I struggle to move forward certain parts sometimes, I don't usually plan or pay attention to the time within the story so it's pretty much vague.

18.) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in fic?

I think it's pretty common in Hetalia fanfics, I did it a couple of times too. I think it's fun and it's a nice touch for a character who's native language is not English but as a writer I find it it's difficult to add it without butchering a language or getting overwhelmed by adding footnotes with the translation haha. If I were to write characters like Spain more often, I would totally do it.

19.) What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Hetalia

20.) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Ahhh this is a hard question

I will say that Nerium Oleander because I am focused on finishing it and it's been very rewarding.

But White Flame is also my favorite because it's just me having a bunch of fun with words and world building.

Tagging:

@darcymariaphoster @crumpled--notes @magictrio1118 @fireandiceland @koolkat9 if you want to~

[pumpkinpaix]

this is gonna sound so harsh but im legit tired of chinese diaspora people who think that bc they are of chinese descent and they have pleco they can act like voices of authority in the fandom. if modao is the 1st chinese book you have read pieces of with a dictionary, if you have never interacted with the actual chinese fandom, you are not part of the intended audience and your biased opinion is not the One And Only Valid Truth 🍵

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree | this is really hard for me to express in terms of an agree/disagree axis lol

genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to shade me here anon lmao 😂

this got long and rambly (of course) asldkjfslj. i would love to make the excuse that it’s bc i’ve got a migraine and had No Sleep but. let’s be real i’m always like this.

ok i’ll start with where i agree: i don’t think anyone has the right to act like an ultimate voice of authority in fandom. i think different people with different backgrounds have varying realms of expertise and they should be respected when they share that knowledge, but that the instant someone starts to use that kind of power as a weapon against people they personally don’t like, i think they forfeit that privilege. no one has the one and only valid truth about a piece of media because that’s fundamentally impossible. i have definitely interacted with diaspo who behave like their heritage gives them some kind of incontrovertible authority over everyone else, and they’re fucking insufferable and often rather cruel, even/especially towards other diaspo. meet me in the denny’s parking lot and fight me for real. i’ll kick ur ass. >:c

however, I also think it’s true that there’s a lot of dismissal of heritage fans in this fandom, if that makes sense, from both sides of the equation: non-Chinese fans ignore our cultural hangups because they’re inconvenient, and non-diaspora disdain us for being not Chinese enough. that puts a lot of us in a position of feeling disrespected just for being who we are, or having our very real knowledge and unique experience as individuals devalued because of it.

regardless of my identity, I have formally studied a lot of things: literary translation, media analysis, the politics of oppression, film critique, religious studies, philosophy, four foreign languages etc. and that is all knowledge that I had to work for, and work hard for. I do have a certain measure of authority on all of these subjects over a layperson (to varying degrees), and there are going to be times when i will be more correct than someone who disagrees with me -- but I’ve also absolutely experienced people talking over that specialized knowledge because of who I am, which is, to be clear. extremely infuriating and hurtful. like, i have cried so much about it in the last 18 months. people see my racial and cultural identity before they see anything else, which is understandable to a degree, but upsetting when it becomes the basis for how my work is judged, whether positive or negative. i don’t want you to trust me blindly because i’m abc. I want to you to trust me because you have examined my work critically and judged it to be trustworthy!

so i guess this is getting into the strongly disagree part of the answer: i’ve been speaking a lot with other diaspora fans lately, and it’s been simultaneously hugely relieving and also really saddening. relieving because oh thank god someone else Gets It, and saddening because pretty much all of us, no matter what kind of diaspo we are (north american, european, SEA, taiwanese etc), we’ve all experienced a lot of pressure in this fandom, from non-Chinese, Chinese, and other diaspora fans alike. we’re all acutely aware that we are not modao’s intended audience because being diaspora vs being “from the mainland” or whatever, are actually quite different things, but modao still feels close to home. even if it was not written FOR us it is still familiar to us.

and, because so many of us are multilingual and multicultural, we end up being the bridge between the “actual” chinese fandom and the english-speaking fandom, which is largely made up of non-chinese. (sidenote: I hate it when people say things about being “actually” any identity because it’s almost always for the exact reason you brought up: to use heritage as street cred. it’s like damn, being “actually” chinese doesn’t make ur opinions any less rank. sure you might be “actually” chinese, but do you have basic reading comprehension and literary criticism skills? no? ok then sit your ass back down) many of us are most comfortable in english! so we produce our content in english! but we also DO often have a somewhat privileged access to the culture that underlies mdzs and can explain it in a language that other non-Chinese fans can understand. so it’s not surprising that people flock to us for answers to their cultural questions. and like. if we think we know the answer, it’s natural for us to try and help. this is fandom! we’re here to have fun and find community! and it is definitely a little bit nice to have my culture treated as something desirable for once instead of just like. a weird exotic curiosity that no one really cares too deeply about. and, since a lot of us are able to do things that non-Chinese fans can’t (research in chinese, for example. ask family members for help and more information etc.) we end up just having more information to share.

I think this sometimes results in a tendency for fandom at large to put heritage/diaspo fans on pedestals and tout them as authorities (or use our conflicting viewpoints as ammunition in fandom drama) when the diaspo in question have repeatedly stated that they should not be taken as authorities on something -- and then, once you reach critical mass, your reputation starts to precede you, and I think there’s a lot of misconceptions of how a lot of diaspo act in this fandom simply because of that phenomenon. most of us know that we’re not ultimate arbiters of some kind of cultural gateway, and it can be very tiring both to be treated as such when we insist we are not, and then punished by other people who assume that we acted like we were.

i don’t think there’s a benefit in trying to keep en fandom and cn fandom totally separate, and I also think it’s unfair to consider the cn fandom the “real” fandom. i think that way lies deeper misunderstandings, gatekeeping, etc. i think we can definitely acknowledge the differences between them, but i think trying to make meaningful connections between fandom circles is really valuable! i don’t think i’ve ever made it a secret that modao is my first cmedia fandom? so it’s also the first time i’ve had reason to interact with chinese fandom, which has been super enlightening and interesting! i’ve made some super cool friends and learned a lot about how fandom works in china, how it’s similar and how it differs from the fandom i’m familiar with.

and then, kind of circling back around, there’s also a bit of a sense like, okay, so if diaspo don’t belong in the CN fandom, but we can’t talk about our own culture with some degree of confidence in EN fandom, then like..... where do we go...? if we see EN fandom doing something that contradicts our cultural knowledge, do we just. not say anything? do we not count unless we’ve already ingratiated ourselves to CN fandom? that’s probably where the core of my strong disagreement comes from, because criticism of diaspora fans as like, acting above their station so to speak, feels just like a tired continuation of the same shit we’ve had to deal with for our whole lives, being told we’re not good enough for anywhere and that we should just be quiet and keep our heads down and get over it. that our opinions, despite coming from a unique perspective with a unique relationship to the subject in question, are less valid or real than “actual” chinese people, you know? and sometimes i see that and im like lmfao just sneer at me for being jook-sing and leave then if you’re so eager to think of me as lesser.

so yeah, basically im of a few minds: true! diaspora fans don’t get to throw their weight around just because they’re diaspo. they don’t get carte blanche to act like bullies or try to shape the fandom to their own personal liking and crusade against people who disagree with them. they don’t get to pretend their heritage makes them superior to everyone else, and i think western diaspora especially need to be careful when asserting any kind of moral lens over the text to acknowledge that we have our own biases to interrogate. i am not immune.meme etc. on the other hand, this vein of criticism tends to put all diaspo in a bit of a double-bind, and also, however unintentionally, plays into the general, continuous trend of dismissing diaspora for being diaspora, and i’m really not about that. i don’t think that’s the motivation behind opinions like this, but i do think that when the basis for the argument hinges on the idea that diaspora are not “real” chinese, no matter how much I too have beef with certain diaspora fans, the argument needs to be revisited. 

(ko-fi)

🍵 ((un)popular) opinions meme

[other-cullen-ficrecs]

MLM!Cullen Fic Rec List

Inspired by this post. Here is my fic rec list of some of my favorite fics with queer Cullen. Happy Pride :)  🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍🌈

Cullen/Dorian

Only True in Fairy Tales by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary:  In which Dorian is a special forces operative, Bull is his partner, and Cullen is the guy they're sent to rescue. Hijinks ensue. // Words: 110150

Modern AU. Dragonflies_and_Katydids makes me read the weirdest stuff. But their work is always captivating. The more ridiculous set up the better outcome, I promise. This one is both ridiculous and absolutely perfect. And somehow one of the very few modern au fics in which Cullen's lyrium addiction is well transfered without making it literal.

Fashionably Late by tsurai

For the tumblr prompt: Cullen/Dorian Soulmates AU? <3 "Maker’s breath, this is absolutely the worst timing, he thinks distantly." // Words: 1038

This is but a tiny thing but I'm a sucker for a soulmate AU. Would I love it more if it was 150,000 words? Yes. But I'm just greedy.

COLD HANDS, WARM HEART by spicyshimmy, stonelions

Summary: Cullen and Dorian's friendship deepens. Cullen is a romantic. Dorian is literally cold. Cullen is no longer certain what he would consider surprising. Mages and Templars working in perfect cooperation, perhaps. Evil and corruption disappearing into the ground along with the blight, blood magic falling so far out of favor it ceased to be. A united Thedas: that would be a surprise. // Words: 25369

I think this is most recced Cullrian fic and for a good reason. Slow burn, drama, all the delights. 

Light In This Darken'd Time Breaks by RamonaDecember

Summary: Cullen wouldn't say he hates mages, not anymore, but he can't see himself ever trusting one again. Dorian is no exception. The mage is off-color, self-important, and all together too much for Cullen to deal with. So why is it that every time Cullen is at his lowest, Dorian seems to be the only person by his side? // Words: 121289

Slow burn with 121289 words, what more do you want?

Cullen/Bull

Jump In by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary: In which Cullen is almost terminally awkward, Bull and Dorian are literally brothers (because why not?), and Bull tries really hard to be good. Or: In which Dorian tries to set up his brother and his roommate, if he can avoid killing them for being so clueless. (You might get cavities from reading it. Don't say I didn't warn you.) // Words: 33700

What did I say about Dragonflies_and_Katydids and ridiculous premises? But if you're as delighted with awkward Cullen as am I - enjoy.

Dragons from Stars in an Empty Sky by Midna_Ronoa

Summary: The one in which Bull takes Cullen dragon-hunting. // Words: 10423

Fluff and smut and dragons!

Stuck on the Puzzle by thespectaclesofthor

Summary: Once, back in Kirkwall, Cullen had an arrangement with a member of the city guard that satisfied his needs. But time changed all things, and he despaired of ever finding a similar arrangement again - that was, until he met The Iron Bull. Problem being that Bull seemed to care far more about sorting out the nitty-gritty of such an arrangement than Cullen ever has. // Words: 235586

No fic rec lists that can involve Bullen canot do without Stuck on the Puzzle. If you haven't read it - please give it a try. As far as I'm concerned - the best fic in the fandom. And definately one of the best fics in general. <3

Cullen/Dorian/Bull

Exit Light by Dragonflies_and_Katydids

Summary: In which Cullen is suicidally depressed, Dorian is a high-functioning alcoholic, and Bull just wants them both to be happy, except when he wants to crack their heads together for being emotionally stunted idiots. // Words: 77427

This premise is actually very close to canon, compared to some other stories by the same author recced here. The angst? Delightful. The smut? Delicious. The exploration of issues? Delectable! Cheff kisses all around.

to burn cool and collected by toomanyhometowns

Summary: Dorian hums. "Here is the function of the spell: Upon invocationne, ye caster's spyryt shal sterte to ye form of whomsoever mofte recently achieved releafe by hys hande." He taps the page in punctuation and looks back up. "And then there's a lot of text about the vast joys we may experience together, et cetera, et cetera." // Words: 16121

Ok, this list shows more than anything that my main delight is issues and angst wrapped in with porn. Anyway - cracky premise (body swap!), and angsty, sexy outcome.

Hold by queeniegalore

Summary: Everyone knows Cullen doesn't trust magic. But he trusts Dorian and Bull, so maybe they can make this work. // Words: 6654

Issues? Trauma? Kink? I'm a one trick pony when it comes to recs.

Cullen/Cole

Okay now that we’ve gotten the obvious out, let’s enjoy the trully unexpected enjoyment.

Into The Light (Cole/Cullen Ficlets) by Sinister_Kid

Summary: A series of what I hope are tasteful Cole/Cullen fics that don't exploit or overly sexualize Cole's developing character. Based on a prompt I filled out of boredom in which I imagined the spirit actually hearing someone's pain like a physical noise in his ears that caused discomfort. Explores the option of making Cole more human, with my own original take on how that affects him as a character, and depicts Cole developing romantic feelings for the Commander as he discovers what it means to be human. // Words: 20454

I admit I don't often read Cole shippy fics but this one stays true to the info in the summary and it is careful and tasteful. Also Cullen learning to speak with Cole properly - <333

Cullen/Varric

Verse & Volley Triptych by boycoffin

Summary: POSSIBLE TITLES: This Shit Was Even Weirder: A Surprisingly Not-Doomed Romance In The Shadow of the Apocalypse The Commander and the Rogue already taken, Antivan maritime smut with an elf girl in it How The Hell I Ended Up With That Guy: A Tale for The People Who Keep Asking Me About It In Bars The Short and Curlies that's just terrible Love Among the tropey garbage A Tale of Two Names pretentious and unclear The Penman's Paramour Memoirs of a Moron (That He's Going to Regret Publishing and Will Never Hear The End Of for As Long As He Lives) // Words: 133354

One of the very few fics in which I can not only accept but love 1st person POV. Crack. Slow-burn. Pennames. Lovable OCs. DELICIOUS. Also a fic that made me start this blog, so love all around.

Cullen/Krem

Last but not least, my delightful fave (maybe, possibly, probably) and involving a shameless self-plug because it’s the month of pride.

Swordplay by orphan_account

Summary: The Bull's Chargers are undisciplined, untested, and unprofessional; but Cullen can't stop thinking about their lieutenant. // Words: 3910

I have a soft spot for whoever Krem being shipped with not knowing he's trans at first. But also oblivious, pining Cullen <3

If you have been starving, a creature of bone by missivesfromghosts

Summary: Cullen is content with where he is. He has a life and a purpose. He’s doing the Maker’s work and he’s cut the Chantry’s leash on him. He barely thinks about the fact that he’s trans anymore. The last person who knew he was born anything different, barring his sister Mia, died during the Blight. This works for him. That is, until he starts falling for Krem. // Words: 769

A tiny thing but I have a soft spot for the idea. Also what's better than a ship with trans character? A ship with two trans characters. Keep that in mind for further recs actually.

Sweet, Merciful Andraste by Tainaron

Summary: PWP. Honestly, Cullen should invest in walls and a ceiling that don't have holes if he's going to keep having such loud sex. Pure, unapologetic smut between trans men who love each other. // Words: 4187

¯\_(ツ)_/¯  What more do you want from me? Sometimes porn is just porn. Enjoy.

Champions of the Just by Tainaron

Summary: En route to Griffin Wing Keep before the battle of Adamant, Cullen falls prey to an injury that reveals a shameful secret about his trauma with magic. As Cullen struggles with his past, his duty to the Inquisition, and his love life, he becomes increasingly uncertain if he’s the target of an assassination attempt or just his own personal demons. // Words: 67885

Well, I also have some plottier and angstier fics in my rec disposal. This one actually explores the problems Krem and Cullen could encounter in their relationship and all within the canon plot line. Plus bonus points of Cullen actually interacting with other Chargers.

cabbage: a love story by psikeval

Summary: Krem’s grin fades into a quiet smirk, his eyes warm and amused, and Cullen does not forget how to move his legs because he is a grown man, a leader of soldiers, commander of the Inquisition’s army. He breaks the silence by coughing loudly, because he is also an imbecile. // Words: 18932

Creme de la creme of Krem/Cullen fics <3 Fluff, crack, porn <3 This delightful series has it all! 

[dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram]

This isn’t a really a question or directly HL related, just some thoughts about fandom and misogyny. There was one fandom I was part of in the past, that centered on 2 men, and they both had girlfriends, and one of the girlfriends experienced the same misogyny present in so many other cases, but the other was universally adored by the fandom. This second woman was like perfectly feminine and gentle and had no career or opinions discernible to fans, and just used social media to share what she’s baking/cooking/how much she loves her bf. I’ve been wondering why that was so appealing to a mostly queer fandom. There was actually a lot of thirst directed at her, including from myself. As a baby lesbian, maybe I liked liking a woman who wasn’t so deviant, so as to lessen the deviance of my desire?? She definitely felt very safe. (I don’t mean to suggest that if a woman performs femininity ‘correctly’, they can escape misogyny - that’s definitely not true. Just thinking about the dynamics at play.)

Thanks anon - that's a very interesting and revealing example. This is one of three insightful anons I got that really resonated with each other to me. In the last one I talked about the role of fandom distress in creating fan discourse.

It is fascinating to me that in a mostly queer fandom this dicohtomy between how women were understood developed. I obviously can't offer any views about why, because I don't know the specifics. But I think you're feelings are probably are good starting point. It wouldn't surprise me if some young queer women feel safer in some ways (particularly those that are essentially fantasy - interaction is going to be minimal) around stereotypically feminine women.

What I think is really interesting about fandom is its capacity to amplify psychological responses that aren't that noticable when it's just one person. Usually our defence mechanisms and the way we engage in black and white thinking aren't that explicit or obvious. But I think they become very obvious en masse (like in the example you gave).

What I think happens within fandom is that one person will feel something - say feeling more comfortable with one of these women than the other. And someone will read it and agree and post it. This ends up amlifying both their own feelings and the feelings of anyone who reads it. As this process is repeated day after day among many people it has an recursive amplifying affect.

I think what happens in fandom is that common small or subconscious reactions amplify within groups through discussion. At the beginning they're not necessarily that notable on an individual level, but after a cycle of discussion and amplification they become concrete. Through this process, both on an individual level, and a collective level, people come to believe and vehemently argue for ideas that had originally only been small instinctive reactions and feelings that were shared with other people.

I suspect that's how the fandom you describe got to where it did and I think it happens over and over again with 1D.

[oldsmobile-hotdogs]

Questions for crossover jatp ghosts crossover fic: I hope Julian and the sunset curve boys talk about the fall of the Berlin Wall and the Yugoslav wars that happened when they were alive + Bill Cilnton. I wonder what pat and the band would talk about considering that they would of been kids when pat died? Do you think Julie would think of Les Mis and Hamilton cos Thomas and Kitty are from about the same time period as those musicals? I hope Julie calls Fanny Mary poppins.

Anon, or "Mimi", or "Lulu", or, heck, maybe even "Carl Birtles": Update: Not Carl Birtles. Carl Birtles sent me an ask and is cool, actually.

Stop. Right now. I'd say stop while you're ahead, but you are so far away from ahead at this point it's laughable.

For everyone confused, this is that "commenter from AO3" I joked about making a 2017-esque story time video about.

A couple days ago I uploaded the first chapter of a Julie and the Phantoms/BBC Ghosts crossover fic.

You know what? I’m gonna promo it here bc it’s my callout post and I can shill if I want to: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30681704/chapters/76661471

It was generally very well received and I've had a blast interacting with readers.

Except for this.

Honestly, there's so much to get into, so I’m putting it under a cut:

This was their first correspondence (email notif bc I deleted the comment, the deletion to be explained later):

(Funnily enough, the links very much do not work on AO3, making the comment only more jarring)

I gave you *so much* benefit of the doubt when I saw this comment, and assumed that maybe you're an ESL user, just very enthusiastic to share ideas, and I pretty much said so in my reply, but know that at that point I'd already had friends- who fucking know about this, don't you dare think you're getting me alone- tell me that you were being very demanding.

Below was my reply (another email notif):

I'm gonna be honest, I think I responded really well to what I was given, and now that I'd replied, I was pretty certain the situation was dealt with. You, evidently, didn't agree, as shown by your reply to my reply:

A word of advice: when replying to someone, at least pretend like you read what they wrote.

At this point I'm left wondering two things:

What do they expect from me, if a general reply is not it?

How much more shit do they have waiting to tell me to put in my- reminder, JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover, rated T, comedic- fic?

In order to avoid finding out either, I freeze the thread on AO3. I'm liveblogging all of this on Discord.

It's then that I notice that the username on AO3 isn't clickable, so even if I wanted to block or report them I couldn't. I assume, therefore, that they've deactivated, and since them seeing their comments gone and getting angry was the only thing stopping me deleting the comments, I delete the comments.

It's also at this point I see "Mimi" never left kudos. I guess I don't deserve praise until I mention "Bill Cilnton".

There's relative calm for a short amount of time, until I get another comment:

This one is much kinder than the others and doesn't mention any specific, weird, historical events, so the extent to which I think this is "Mimi" is debatable, but bestie I'm weirded out enough that anything that even uses the enter bar unnecessarily and misses out conjunctive words like "because" and "and" is going to activate fight or flight. Update: Carl Birtles is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl was just being genuinely kind and I misinterpreted it and that's on me.

However, "Carl"'s case is not helped by the fact I can't click his account either, that AO3 offers me the ability to report it as spam, and that guess who replies to "Carl"'s comment: Update: Carl, having done nothing wrong as he has, is therefore also a victim in the situation that is being replied to by Lulu. It would seem Lulu is trying to correct??? some of Carl's commentary.

You must think I didn't get a 7 on my English Literature GCSE because you seem to underestimate my ability to compare two texts.

So clearly this is "Mimi", who has also just replied to "Carl". "Lulu" is also deactivated, and I've fallen off the end of my tether, let alone reached it, at this point so I mark it as spam. "Carl" gets to stay bc he said the idea for the crossover was good. Update: Carl also gets to continue to stay because I have it on good faith that he's a stand-up dude.

So at this point you've readily admitted through your inability to shake up your writing style to using at least one sockpuppet to convince me to talk about the "Yugoslav wars".

If "Carl Birtles" is the real(-est) of them, and "Mimi" and "Lulu" are the sockpuppets, by the way, I have questions and ideas about what you do on your free evenings and I want them neither confirmed nor answered. Update: This is slanderous and I want to apologise wholeheartedly to Carl for making assumptions about him and judging his character. Once again, he is not Mimi or Lulu. He's just a normal, cool guy.

And now you come to me, on the day of my daughter's wedding on a different platform, leave me an anon ask in the exact same format as you're so fond of, and expect any different ??

Well, yeah, then I guess I'll give you special treatment this time.

Here's exactly why I will never include anything you have told me to include:

Julian and the Phantoms discussing the Berlin Wall would be highly inappropriate for the largely fluffy, cracky tone of my fanfiction, especially given how recently the event occurred, how many Eastern Germans still experience prejudice to this day because they were born within the old borders of the DDR, and because of how nuanced this, essentially proxy war, was and how ill-informed a huge amount of the world is on the actual factors in play during this time and the Cold War in general.

Julian and the Phantoms will not discuss Yugoslavia dissolving, nor the fallout and conflict that resulted, because it was genocidal. There is nowhere I can fit Julian, pantsted, casually asking Luke “hey do you remember when the Herzegovinas were killed en masse by the Serbs?” Not gonna happen.

They won’t discuss Bill Clinton because all of them know who the current world leaders are: they don’t have amnesia, they’re ghosts. The fic is also rated T, so it would be inappropriate to make any explicit reference to “sexual relations”. None of them play saxophone.

Julie wouldn’t think of Les Mis or Hamilton because Thomas is Regency, not French Revolution, and Kitty is Georgian, not Colonial.

Julie won’t be calling Fanny Mary Poppins because she is perpetually stuck in a white dress, doesn’t wear a hat, doesn’t own an umbrella or a purse and was not the nanny or housekeeper of Button House.

The ghosts will not discuss the marvels of modern transportation or how long it would’ve taken to cross the Atlantic on dinghy because the ghosts have seen Friends. The house irl is on a flight path. They know airplanes exist. Alison and Mike pulled up in a car.

I will probably have the phantoms and Willie talk to Pat and Julian about being from the ‘80s and ‘90s. That I will actually probably do.

The Captain will not mention FD Roosevelt because, again, they all know who the current world leaders are, and I doubt he expects a ‘90s pop punk band to have any insider knowledge on the man.

It was interesting to think of the phantoms’ grandparents having been alive during WW2. I wasn’t lying. But there is nearly nothing I can do with this information.

But above all: both sets of ghosts have already adapted to modern life. Because the shows are shorter, and meant to actually be able to fit jokes in them.

If you want to see any of this, write your own damn fic. I don’t own the concept of a JATP/BBC Ghosts crossover.

What you will not do, “consonant-vowel-consonant-vowel”-nim, is hound me on multiple accounts and then change platform to hound me again. I’m absolutely not having it.

I have never received an interaction quite like this before, and I cannot help but wonder if this is because this is my first work in the Ghosts/HH/Them There/Six Idiots/Yonderland/Bill fandom: that this is where you primarily camp out.

So it’s at this point I ask the Them There/Six Idiots fandom if they have/if they know anyone who has had a run-in with this person or thinks they may have, or if anyone perhaps even knows who this is? Maybe I’m just one of many. Maybe this is a necessary fandom evil I was unaware of.

This experience has left me royally freaked out, as one might imagine, especially since my anxiety in general has been acting up due to it being exam season. I want to thank everyone who’s read my rambles on Discord and on here and even listened to them irl and offered support from the bottom of my heart.

I’ve enabled comment moderation on the fic. I will continue to write it, and I will put exactly what I, and only what I, want in it.

Believe it or not, I wanted to do literally anything else today.

Anon: Fucking Leave Me Alone.

Update: Just reiterating: Carl is not Mimi or Lulu. Carl is a cool dude and I want to sincerely apologise for having brought him into this mess, passing judgment on his character, and making him feel like he should stop practicing English online.

[percyjacksonfan3]

For the salty asks: numbers one, five, six, and twenty through twenty-three please 😇

I live for the chaos so pls just... go off my dude

Ah Tay, reason #187893467 that I love you is that you indulge me in my rants <3

Salty asks are from this post!

K this got LONG so here's a read more!

1. What OTPs in your fandom(s) do you just not get?

Honestly even though I don't multi-ship often I DO usually get the appeal behind ships so this is a really short list. This will probably get me some hate but I still to this day can't get behind c/ex@ from the show that will not be named. But then again I do get the appeal of two super attractive women with chemistry and the whole ruler/ girl who makes the ruler change their ways thing. So I guess I get it even if I don't like it?

Also, and this is not to hate on Hinny, but Harry and Ginny from HP are not my cup of tea. I like what fandom has done for them but the actual content we get for them in the books (and movies, but I prefer the books) isn't enough for me to love them. Same with Mal and Alina from S & B/ Grishaverse, they're so bland to me in the books but the show is doing far better with them and actually making Mal ya know. Likeable. Again, I don't ship it, but best friends to lovers is top tier so I get it.

Oh! I also don't really get Dwalin/Ori from The Hobbit, but that is probably in large part because I'm a Dwalin/Nori shipper. Again though, all of the secondary characters' relationships in The Hobbit rely on fans to extrapolate HARD and wear extreme shipper goggles, and ik there's that scene where Dwalin helps Ori out of the river so like.. maybe that's where it's from? I don't hate it or anything but it's always something that's made me go ??? cause I have no idea where the heck it came from.

Apart from that... I can't think of any rn? I feel like I understand where all the PJO ships come from, even if I don't ship them. There are a couple that I don't understand how they can be someone's OTP, just because I find them super boring (no offense to those who ship C@leo or J@siper but I just don't love how Rick handled those relationships). In TSC I think fandom mainly vibes with the same pairings and that's true for most of my book fandoms. With the shows I watch I don't think fans majorly ship anything too out there for me. Maybe I don't interact enough with fandoms to tell. So this is all I got.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Oh my god, oh my god, this is a can of worms, my lord. A pairing I'm not so sure about, but characters? Abso-fucking-lutely. I took a break from PJO fandom for exactly that reason and the list of characters is endless honestly, for multiple fandoms.

I won't say fandom ruined Bell@rke for me cause I still ship it, but I definitely lost enthusiasm with how toxic the shows fandom was and then that was made even worse when the show completely destroyed itself with the worst writing and plots ever in the latter seasons.

Also I have a feeling that G@me of Thrones/ @soiaf ruined one for me but I can't remember this very second. Maybe not, and again that's probably cause I don't interact with fandoms en masse, usually just through fic and following a few people I vibe with in each.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

Yes, quite a few! I used to dislike Drarry (for obvious reasons I feel) and Romione (as a kid I wanted Hermione to be with Harry and even when I grew out of that I really didn't like she was with Ron) but fandom changed that for sure. And same with Darklina now, I was upset cause I felt like the books really underutilized their relationship and fell short of what could have been a super awesome pairing if better explored, but the show fandom is taking it in so many different ways that I'm starting to really love them despite the reasons I shouldn't.

And I won't say I hated Hayffie in THG, but definitely the only reason I ship them is from reading @ellanainthetardis's fic Have a Drink Sweetheart and then all the others written for them. That portrayal of Hayffie and the characters have become my own headcanons now because I've been reading them for so long and they're so good.

Fandom made me ship Leon and Morgana from Merlin too, though that's very lowkey. I never hated them, I just never thought of them as a pairing until reading fic.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Percabeth. I don't care which fandom, it's Percabeth. Growing up together, going from enemies to friends to best friends to lovers? The establishment of them being best friends and the way Rick wrote that friendship was so pure, and they are a couple with no internal problems, all external, and you just know they're gonna be together through everything, fighting at each other's side, cause that's the way they are. There's a reason they're my OTP and it's cause they are the most well-established, ride or die couple I can think of. They're just so solid.

21. What are your thoughts on crack ships?

Love em for fandom but personally I very rarely get behind crackships just because I usually need a lot of build up, scenes, good dialogue and chemistry, etc. to ship something, so most of my ships aren't crack ships. The only one I can really think of that I actively root for and ship and would read fic for is Billy/ Owen from 911 Lonestar which is just... something.

Like idk if Barduil from The Hobbit is crack because ik it's quite popular... what makes a ship a crack ship anyway? Lack of canon reference? Is it cause they two characters would be so random together because they barely ever interact? Or because it's SO unrealistic you know for sure it will never happen but want it to anyway? Or is it lack of popularity in fandom? I need someone to define this so I have a better answer :D if it's the second option then I have MANY

I love seeing fandom stuff for crack ships though, cause seriously, it's fiction, ship who you want. If you ship two characters just cause you think they're pretty side by side then that's enough for me. Make all of the fan art and fic you like.

22. Popular character you hate?

Oof. Jason from HOO. And Leo in everything after The Lost Hero. I hated Piper in The Lost Hero and Mark of Athena but like her after those. I don't like any of the book characters from S & B except Nikolai, but I like everyone in the show (except David? Why did they make him so weird? Like he's not even awkward, he's straight up rude imo, but anyway). In @soiaf I don't like Jon Snow, I think he's boring. And I despise Jorah Mormont cause I think he's creepy for having a crush on Dany.

Didn't love Stefan in TVD, too much of a goody-two-shoes. I liked dark Stefan but it felt like a totally different character. Honestly most of the characters I don't like cause they're boring or too by-the-book.

OH! A big one in M@rvel is Captain America. Can't stand him honestly, I like him as a character to have in the story, but I like never agree with him on anything. I like a couple of his one-liners but that's it really. I also don't like Gale in THG, idk if that's controversial. Or Lex@ from the show that will not be named because I think she's manipulative and not good for any of the characters i DO love.

Is Ron popular? I think so. I like fandom Ron but not canon Ron and idk why. I think I'm growing out of it but I read those books when I was like 7 initially so I thought it was awful of Ron to stop being friends with Harry because he was jealous and I never really got over that.

There are so many but I'm gonna stop now.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Again, tons. I love anyone whose got kind of a tortured backstory because it makes them more interesting to me.

I love Movieverse Hawkeye! I think Clint is great and while I wish his deafness was canon in Marvel and I don't love J Remmer, I do love Hawkeye a lot. He was honestly one of the only Marvel characters that felt consistent and in-character throughout the movies.

I like President Snow from THG just cause I think he was a fantastic villain. And Effie and Haymitch aren't unpopular, but they're probably my favourites, again because of the fics mentioned above.

Leon from Merlin!! I don't actually think he's unpopular, but he's like... my fourth favourite character in the show which I know IS considered high for most people.

Sandor Clegane from ASOIAF. Not the show, just the books. His book character is phenomenal and I am so excited for GrrM to finish the goddamn series so I know what happens to him.

The Stolls and Katie Gardner from PJO cause fandom created Tratie and sucked me in at a young age.

Bellatrix Lestrange? Is she unpopular? I don't think so but she's another one I think is a fantastic villain. I'm almost more interested in her than Voldemort tbh.

That's probably it!

Thanks so much for the ask Tay, this was tons of fun! Anyone else who's interested can feel free to fill my inbox!

[sapphicdragons-1]

my bio! (long post)

Hi! You can call me Vi. I use she/he (fluctuates) and they/it. Any gendered compliments are welcome, but creature-related ones are encouraged! I’m also very leftist, athiest, socialist, and a punk. (i despise the government and society, but i am mostly a law-abiding citizen and a fucking coward)

Gender: thingy? I identify along the lines of genderqueer, agender, and genderfluid. I don’t stress it too much :3 im mostly a girl but i luv masc terms and im sometimes just a boy

I am homosexual-leaning omni and aromantic; i have a few microlabels but im fine saying just that. I experience alterous attraction and a deep emotional connection in place of romantic attraction. I am also hypersexual (not traumagenic).

Nonhuman identities: I am an Aqua dragon (original species). It fits somewhere between othermidst, othervague, heartedlink, otherkin, otherlink, and fictionkin, but is strong enough that I consider myself dragonkin. Because of this, I am avianhearted, canine and feline simil, have a lush forest hearthome, and feel very connected to bodies of water, the sun, the moon, the sky, and thunderstorms.

I am otherlink of a cryptid i made up. its an undead coyote deer forest spirit thingy with a lust for vengeance and raw meat muehehehe

im also a situational kitty otherlink :3 meow

Hobbies: I enjoy drawing, crafting, jewelry making, sculpting, biking, gaming, swimming, frolicking, collecting, doing quads, “ruining” clothes, and just doing other gooberish activities :D

Music: I have no set music taste, but a few of my favorite categories are ambient [sign crushes motorist, Duster, Other Nothing], scenecore [Odetari, 6arelyhuman, and Asteria], Radiohead, Franz Ferdinand, grunge music [Nirvana, Hole, The Smashing Pumpkins, literally all the dad grunge], a bit of goth music [The Cure, London After Midnight, Cocteau Twins, literally all dad goth], death/deathcore metal [Cattle Decapitation, Infant Annihilator, The Black Dahlia Murder], nu metal [DEFTONES DEFTONE DEFTONES, Korn, Limp Bizkit, and NO slipknot >:€] ambient 2 [Lyn Lapid, Louie Zhong], whatever The Living Tombstone, Lemon Demon, and Bo Burnham is, whatever Mac DeMarco and The Neighborhood is ig, breakcore and noisecore [FEMTANYL AND BLACK DRESSES MY BELOVED], vocaloid [HEAVILY including my love Kikuo], bo en, and yada yada yada. If you have any band recommendations (especially good alt bands!), send them my way!

Fandoms: Too many to count, but my mains are Mouthwashing, OMORI, Wings of Fire, Hazbin Hotel, Helluva Boss, Heathers, and many, many more. I am also a furry :3

I am also very involved in communities such as alterhuman, alternative, neurodivergent, and punk, but these are not fandoms.

I live in the midwestern U.S.

This account is geared towards teens and young adults. If you’re over 30 and we haven’t interacted, probably let me give you a vibe check before you follow

i’m a bit of a chronic attention seeker, and will do things or amplify things sometimes that might be subconciously for attention. please be patient, and don’t be rude to me when it happens, i have quite a few microtraumas surrounding this :/

will be fine with people goofin off in my asks!

might do commisions for sketches, doodles, moodboards, backgrounds, and maybe stimboards.

just as a disclaimer, i am technically a proshipper. i don’t think anyone should be harassed over what they ship. i personally dont ship things a lot, but i probably won’t end up touching anything relating to pedophilia or one-sided abuse (YOU CANT KEEP MUTUAL TOXICITY AND CODEPENDENCY AWAY FROM ME MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA). i’ll tag accordingly and extensively for anything that could be triggering; reach out if you need me to add any tags :> i’d be happy to accommodate <3

Tag system!

#kaeposting - kin stuff!

#kaecreates - stuff I made that relates to my kintype

#kaefrolicks - picures or videos of the forest, and maybe videos of quads in the future

#kaerambles - dragon go bla bla bla

#vi’s updates - updates about my life

#vi’s passion projects - crafts because slay

#vi’s wonderful world of pretty things - pretty pictures of scenery, jewelry I love, and maybe some outfits. room maybe

#eye of the storm wings of the heart - pretentious ahh name. storm stuff, nice water sounds, avianhearted stuff, basically all my secondary kin things

#+££+|~| - vents. typically angry due to my nature, under the cut with a warning. stylized “teeth”

#€|@\/\/$ - vents. typically obsessive thoughts / talking about hypersexuality. stylized “claws”

#aqua dragons 🪷 - info on or relating to my favorite lil creatures! lilypad as to not to be confused with shrimp or water dragons.

This is a safe place for queer, MOGAI, LGBTQIA, POC, alterhuman, ALL systems, endels, lycanthropes, zooanthropes, physical nonhumans, neurodivergent people (not just ADHD and autism! [them too] ALL! /friendly), age and pet regressors, people with kinks, so on and so forth. I can’t think of many others, but the rule of thumb for paras is [TW ofc]:

If you are a ped0 or zo0, you better be no-contact, as well as pro-therapy/ counseling for at-risk individuals. If you aren’t, get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me. No exceptions.

If you are a necr0, I’m somewhat more fine with that. (thanatophile myself!) However, for the love of nonexistent god, please don’t actually make contact with dead things if you plan on following. Just out of respect.

If ur smthn like objectum like me thats coolio js dont tamper with other people’s property tyyyy

I’d vastly prefer if Big 3 paras weren’t discussed on this blog, for the comfort of me or the thingies around me.

If you either don’t wan’t to, or don’t, hurt others, you’re fine. Example: Nonhumans with a prey drive getting the urge to kill small animals without following through, and people with mental illnesses / personality disorders hurting others without meaning to and feeling remorse. You are loved, and you are safe here. Also, there’s a lot of grey areas, being a bit sadistic is occasionally based but yk dont be horrible ig

DNI: Bigots, transphobes, homophobes, anti-feminists, radfems, TERFS, conservative people, extensively religious, anti-endel/clinical ‘thropes, anti-endos, antifurries, antikins, and other generally dislikable people. tryna use mild language ‘cause this varies wildly in severity.

And I would prefer if Abrahamic religion was kept out. It’s fine to believe in that god, but I would prefer if it wasn’t brought up much on this blog. thank you for your consideration :)

and I think that’s all! I’ll link the Guide to Aqua Dragons below when I make it! [never happening pookies 😔 (subject to change)] thank you for your time :3

[tiaragqueen]

Give and Take

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Mafioso! Park Jimin x Singer! Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,8k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Mention of abduction, obsessiveness, possessiveness, implied forced marriage, murder, blood, death

✂ This story is fictional and for amusement only. I don’t believe any of the members would do this in real life. All in all, thank you for reading and I hope you have a good day!

Do not re-upload my writing to another website or use it without my permission.

[Edited]

***

You know you’ve been out of BTS fandom for too long when you accidentally mixed Jimin's surname with Kim. Also, I nearly forgot to write this.

Part 1

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“A hundred and five is the number that comes to my head, when I think of all the years I wanna be with you. Wake up every morning with you in my bed, that's precisely what I plan to do.” - Marry Me [Jason Derulo]

Being the girlfriend of a mafia boss was surprisingly… relaxed; or maybe because it was Jimin. When you woke up in a spacious room completed with a queen-size bed, a walk-in closet that kept lavish dresses and clothes in your favorite colors, en suite bathroom, and balcony, Jimin had barged in and immediately leaped on you. You remembered shrieking at the sudden attack of affection and tried to push him off, but he was surprisingly strong for someone so… short.

Suffice to say, he didn’t quite release you for the next ten minutes.

You’d never met a man so clingy, so affectionate except, maybe, a sasaeng. And even so, your guards never let them touch you. One or two times, yes, but their service was pretty good overall. However, they weren’t here to protect you now. You were left at the mercy of a mafioso, the boss one at that.

Now that you thought about it, what happened to your guards? You only remembered snippets of you going to a supermarket to buy snacks when someone abruptly knocked you out. You weren’t sure if your guards saw the culprit, but since the car was basically across the street, you concluded that they must have. After all, it was their job to watch over you.

But you supposed even the most experienced guards were nothing at the hands of mafioso.

You hoped nothing particularly bad had happened to them. Who knows what your kidnapper had done to them when you were unconscious. Wasn’t Mafia a cruel organization? It’d be understandable if the members were trained to act that way. Though, you prayed that they only knocked your guards out as they did to you.

And what about your manager? Oh, God. They must be worried sick about you. Well, maybe not necessarily your well-being.

However, it didn’t seem as if Jimin shared your concern. Not that you were expecting much from him, to begin with.

When you asked him about their conditions, he merely whined and proceeded to bury his face further into the crook of your neck.

“Why are you asking about other men when you already have me here? Am I not enough for you? Why do you even care about those puny men, anyway? They don’t deserve your attention. Not at all.”

You didn’t understand why he said it as though he was your boyfriend already, and that he deserved to be the center of your focus. In fact, you didn’t understand anything at all!

“O-of course I care about them! They’re my guards, after all. You can’t just…” You squirmed in his hold when you felt it tighten around your stomach. “You can’t just dismiss them like they’re nothing! And who the heck are you, anyway?” 

His giggle sent an awkward vibration throughout your body. If he sensed your discomfort, then he chose to ignore it. He probably noticed, because he soon giggled again and nipped your neck playfully.

“I’m your number one fan, of course.”

It finally dawned on you that you were dealing with no ordinary fan, but a sasaeng. Out of all people, he just had to be one.

And out of all frantic thoughts that circulated in your head, the worst just had to happen.

“… But,” he continued thoughtfully. “now that you’re here, I guess you could say that I’m your boyfriend!”

You learned pretty early that Jimin was serious about this whole ‘boyfriend’ thing, or maybe it was just him drilling his affection into your distraught brain. Every gift, from big to small, and from cheap to expensive, piled on your floor. Although looking at the ‘cheapest’ present he gave you, it was probably worth a thousand dollars. Your favorite food would be served every day, and any snack you craved would be sent to your – or should you say, your shared – room, regardless of the time.

Compared to your manager who needed to watch over the finance, Jimin didn’t bother to hold himself from spoiling you thoroughly. It came to the point where you had to keep your gaze from wandering to the things that interested you in fear of him buying them with or without your knowledge, usually the former.

Obviously, he wouldn’t do anything without a price. This was a give-and-take world, after all.

Luckily, the price wasn’t that outrageous. Just the things a lover usually did; affection and attention. But, as expected, he forbade you to look and speak to other people for too long. Not even the guards that were stationed outside your room was an exception to his ‘rule’.

And, of course, they’d be more loyal to him than to you. You were just a stranger who was suddenly plucked from your vibrant yet taxing life into his suffocating hug. A weak woman who could do nothing in the face of a muzzle.

“If you talk to other people for longer than ten seconds, I’ll shoot them.” That was what he said to you one day, during one of his impromptu cuddles. Despite the guileless smile he wore, you knew that he wasn’t kidding with his threat.

He’d told you that he’d spoil you to your heart content, and he’d ordered his subordinates to kidnap you. How could you doubt his words?

But you were lonely. The life in Park mansion was generally quiet, and although Jimin liked to invite you to his office, it still wasn’t enough. Not to mention, the guards had forbidden you to accompany him to his meetings because you weren’t ‘official’ yet – not that you necessarily wanted to come in the first place. You weren’t sure if you wanted to know the meaning of ‘official’ – though, you did have an inkling – and quickly backed down. Too quick because Jimin had whined, hand outstretched to grasp even a hem of your clothes.

You were so lonely you decided to bite the bullet and greeted the servant who came to give your food.

“… Hello.”

The servant was startled at first, eyes bulged out of their pockets as if you were threatening his family with a gun instead. Once he discerned your friendly, albeit awkward smile, he relaxed slightly and nodded.

Just a nod. He couldn’t even bring himself to return your greeting. That was how much he feared you, or rather, your affiliation with Jimin.

The hesitant response you received sent a pang of disappointment in your chest. To think that one day, people would fear you instead of admiring you like you were accustomed to seeing. You might not have many fans, but you were happy and grateful for their efforts to watch your concerts. You loved looking at their glittering eyes as they followed you on the stage, their wide beams, and their boisterous cheers.

And now, people couldn’t even glance at you without flinching and recoiling. Granted, it was only the servants. The guards didn’t bother to notice your existence beyond necessary interactions, which was very rare.

“Please don’t be afraid of me,” you said softly as though he was a cornered animal. “I’m not Jimin. I… I don’t even know what I’m doing in here, to be honest.”

The unnamed servant frowned, and after a moment of awkward silence, finally muttered. “Young master really loves you.”

You frowned while still smiling wearily. That wasn’t what you wanted to hear at all. The reason why you spoke to him was that you wanted to talk about anything, not him. But you supposed it was inevitable, wasn’t it? After all, you were under his ‘protection’.

“I-I see…” you trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Jimin was still in his meeting, right? Maybe you could prolong this, honestly useless, conversation. “Can you at least tell me what your name is?”

He shifted a little and looked down. Ah, you really made him uncomfortable, didn’t you?

Reluctantly, he opened his mouth. “It’s–”

Drops of blood splattered your face as he abruptly collapsed to the floor, dying with a shocked expression that rivaled yours. The bang managed to deafen your ears and froze your body momentarily. Slowly, you looked up and discerned the short figure on the doorway.

Jimin held his gun in one hand, face stony despite the death he caused and the trauma he inflicted on you.

“I really don’t want to do this because I know that not many people like to see real-life violence. But sometimes they need a lesson, don’t they?” He averted his emotionless gaze to you and smiled coldly. “I told you that I’ll kill anyone who talks to you for more than ten seconds. So why did you do it? Are you doubting me?”

“N-no, I…” You began to clamber away as he slowly advanced towards you, but the empty spot on your wrist forced you to stop. “I just… I just wanted someone to talk to me, is all.”

He squinted. “Why? Am I not enough for you until you had to go to someone else? A man at that?”

“… I’m sorry. Please don’t kill me.” you whimpered, eyes stinging from upcoming tears.

“Oh, I know!” You glanced up to him when you heard him snapping his fingers. “You must be lonely, right?”

Well, he wasn’t wrong but… you really didn’t want to hear his next words. It’d be worse, you were sure of it. There was no way he’d be lenient to you anymore after he caught you talking with a servant. As far as you were concerned, it was considered a ‘betrayal’ to him.

Jimin chuckled and swiftly locked his gun. “You should’ve told me! No need for a drastic measure like that!” he chirped despite the irony of the situation. “After we get married, I’ll definitely bring you to my meetings more!”

Your breath hitched. Get what…?

“What… what do you mean?” That was impossible. There was no way he said what you heard him saying, right? No, he couldn’t. He couldn’t just–

“Get married, of course!” he beamed, oblivious to the severity of his words. “My organization only acknowledges the official members, you know? So if you marry me, you’ll become a part of us too. Isn’t that great? That way, I can freely bring you anywhere.”

No, that wasn’t great. It’d never be great. You might not see another violence, hopefully, but you didn’t want to become a part of them. People tended to lump someone with their affiliations, and that meant they’d perceive you as a criminal, too!

You slowly shook your head, the tears started to spill. “Jimin, no… I can’t. I can’t marry you – I don’t want to.”

Jimin blinked owlishly. “What do you mean? Of course, you want to! You’re my girlfriend, after all!” he chirped. “My parents have seen your pictures, and luckily, they want to meet you tomorrow!”

You could’ve sworn your heart stopped beating for a second as the news crashed your head like a brick.

“So I think we should sleep early. It’ll be bad if you start yawning in front of them.” He giggled and plopped down beside you. “Don’t worry, we’ll be eating together from now on. I’ll tighten the security so people can’t come into our room as they please. That way, you won’t be lonely anymore!”

[bonesliketambourines]

Hiya! It's the Festive Fanfic Author Ask! Drop this on or off Anon into the askbox of your favorite authors you'd like to know better: Which one of your own fics do you think feels the most You to you? Which one of your stories would you suggest to read if someone wanted to get the gist of your personality?

Hi there anon!

I got this ask twice, so I’m going to answer it in two somewhat varying ways, if you don’t mind indulging me! I’ve posted part two here.

This was a tough question, and my friends can attest that I panicked and said “what if you don’t have an actual personality and are in fact just a cobbled-together mishmash of every person you’ve ever found cool” when I first got it. But the more I looked at it, the more it made me think, so thank you for that!

First, I’d like to say that a little bit of me goes into every single one of my stories. I can honestly say that out of everything I’ve written (and that will be 50 Drarry works in 2020 once I post my December drabble, can you believe?), none of them were anything less than from the heart. That doesn’t always translate to an excellent fic, of course, that wouldn’t be realistic, but all of them are Me, at least a little bit.

In these asks, though, there are two fics I’m going to highlight, and this part got super wordy so I’m putting it under a cut; thanks to anyone who reads through to the end of my rambles haha.

The first one is just tell me when it’s alright, which was my @hd-wireless 2020 contribution. This was my second major fest fic for the Drarry fandom (and my second major writing attempt in years; I abandoned fanfic and my other fandom in 2012 and just came back to it again in 2019, and didn’t start interacting properly with fandom and writing until 2020), and I poured a lot of time and effort into this fic. It was an idea I’d had for months, but if it weren’t for @tackytigerfic pushing me to sign up for the fest, and the unending support of the friends I’ve made this year, including but not limited to @maesterchill @shealwaysreads and @p1013, it would have lingered forever unfulfilled in my mind.

This was also a pretty major fic for me in that it was written from Harry’s POV. I tend to gravitate to writing from Draco’s eyes (which I’ll address in the second part of this answer), but this story could only have been told from Harry’s perspective, and I was very nervous about that.

I love Harry Potter as a character; I always have. There’s a lot of negative to be said about the source material and the author (let me just stop here to say that TERFs are not feminists, feminism isn’t feminism unless it’s intersectional, and transphobia and any other type of bigotry is not welcome on my blog; I am fallible and make mistakes but I always want to learn, so if I’m saying or doing something wrong please don’t be afraid to message me, and if you don’t agree with my above statements please unfollow me), but the Harry Potter series did so much to enchant an entire generation of kids and get them into reading; its importance really cannot be understated, and it’s doing the series a disservice to minimize its impact.

There was a time in the HP fandom where disliking the character of Harry Potter was sort of en vogue, and I never understood that. Here we have a boy who experienced some of the very worst humanity had to offer, and came out on the other side still brave, and kind, and forgiving, and generous, and good. He was handed the shittiest luck imaginable, and he wasn’t the smartest, or the most magically talented, but because he was able to rise above it all and love he was able to triumph.

As I grow older, as I see more and more of what this world is like, and how the systems of power in both my country and others actually function, I find myself returning to the story of a boy who became a man much too soon, who was given no breaks and provided no quarter, who watched as friends and family alike died around him, and despite it all managed to do good. What a powerful message. What a powerful character. What an incredible example, for a young child growing up in the divisive environment we find ourselves in these days; a fictional hero who won not by strength, or cleverness, or outwitting and othering his enemies, but by love.

So, with all of that, how could I ever write from the perspective of this character?? I’m much better at writing from the eyes of someone who sees and loves Harry, I’d always thought. But again, this story necessitated being told by Harry, and so I had to do it.

I probably spent more time thinking about this fic than I did writing it. I agonized and stressed and worked myself into a lather about how I was going to make it live up to the idea I had in my head. How, I thought, am I ever going to get such an iconic character right?

This Harry has a lot of darkness in him, a lot of sadness that, based on the comments I got, resonated with quite a few people. He’s traumatized, and he’s unaware of many parts of himself because he was never allowed to learn or to grow, and he’s still trying so hard to live up to the idealized image of himself he was confronted with the second he stepped through that archway into Diagon Alley when he was eleven. He’s not straight but he’s not gay, and he doesn’t know how to articulate what he wants or how he feels; and once he does figure it out, once things seem to settle for him, he’s suddenly up against yet another enemy to battle, but this time it’s his own mind.

Depression is an insidious, horrific thing. It slinks into your mind and crushes you down while simultaneously tricking you into thinking you’re not that bad off, and this is normal, and everyone probably feels this way, and who are you to complain after all? It slowly chips away at your joy and your purpose until you’re left surrounded by an uncleaned house and an inability to do anything to right yourself, no matter how much you want to. I don’t think it would be surprising to anyone to know that I’ve dealt with depression for my entire life, back almost as long as I can remember; I struggle with the apathy it presses into me daily, and there are days when, just like the Harry in this story, I can’t get out of bed, I can’t make my home a pleasing, calming place for me to be, and I can’t do anything but dwell on what I’ve done wrong and who I’ve done it to, and how they’re all going to leave.

There were scenes in this story that were incredibly hard to write. There are scenes that I had a hard time re-reading when I went back and revisited this story a few weeks ago. But this, more than anything else I’ve ever written, is the closest I’ve ever come to addressing my own personal demons, to articulating how it feels to be pinned in place by your own brain like that. And truly, Harry Potter himself was the only character I could ever write who would be able to fully embody this particular battle that so many of us face.

This fic has some of the sex scenes I’m most proud of, and some of the character interactions I like the best, but at its core it’s about a young adult adrift in the world, battling with his own brain and doing his best to bring himself some measure of peace and happiness. And for that, as hard as parts of this were to write (and read), I will always be thankful I was given the opportunity to publish this.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you.