#It just is bugging me because of one tiny sentence I want to put in and now I'm pondering on it

[bluepallilworld]

I almost thought about typing "can a skeleton catch a cold" in my research bar

[oibean]

I had a thought about John Price? (could work w anyone really) and f!reader that I needed to get out of my brain

Also shoutout to my fellow pillow humpers

Warnings: mutual masturbation, pillow humping, a non-writer writing (pls let me know if I should tag anything else)

Something something. Having John stay over for the first time, you two are early in a relationship. Maybe his mission ended early and you lived close to base or he just wanted to go see you asap or whatever. He doesn’t feel like showering and knows how particular you are/how you feel about him not showering after missions and laying in your bed so like a gentleman he opts to sleep on the couch bc he’s just so tired. He grabs a random pillow but that’s your humping pillow!

“Oops, not that one” you say feeling your face warm up and oh god is your forehead vein starting to show? Is the fan on? He looks at you confused.

“This one’s fine love. I don’t need anything fancy. Keep your nice pillows with you on your bed” he says tired from his flight. He has a small smile, tired eyes sparkling as they look at you.

“No no it’s just that I don’t want you using that pillow in particular, please” oh god this can’t be happening. You fidget with the ring on your thumb spinning it nervously. How are you gonna tell him that this is your designated humping pillow? How do you explain that the only way you get off is from humping that small rectangular pillow he’s currently pressing his cheek against?

He looks a bit more aware now. Maybe you're particular about your things and he crossed a line just moving it without asking, or it’s from a dear friend who you don’t get to see too often, or a deceased relative who you only have this pillow to remember them by. Whatever the reason he lifts his head and moves the pillow from under him. But before he can apologize and move to switch pillows you blurt out

“It’s just that’s the pillow I use when I- when I need to get off and I just didn’t get to put it away before you got here, I’m so sorry” you say it fast and stumble over each word. Cringing as you hear the sentence fall out of your mouth. Your eyes look at anything but him. Missing the mischievous look that he gets.

“It’s what?” His accent a tiny bit thicker than a few seconds ago. You look at him and he’s awake now. Sitting up and holding the pillow over his crotch. He feigns innocence and continues on. “I don’t understand love, can you say that again”

You frown a little bit. He heard you, he’s doing this to watch you squirm and since you don’t know how to free yourself from under his heavy gaze. You accept your fate. Like a bug stuck in a sticky trap.

“I- um” you really don’t think your heart has ever pumped this hard from pure embarrassment. You gulp, so loud that you both hear it and push through because you know there’s no way he’s gonna let you drop this conversation. So you word vomit, seeing no other option than to over share. Which he absolutely loves. It’s his favorite thing that you do.

“I can’t make myself- I can’t- get off with my fingers. I’ve tried my fingers and it just doesn’t work. I’ve only ever been able to use a pillow and just stuck with it” You don’t know what else to say so you say nothing, feeling the air get thicker in your small apartment. You look at him on the couch, legs spread wider and his big hands clutching onto the pillow so its shape is all warped. He looked at you like he was listening to the most interesting story in the world. With a blink, his face turns serious and his eyes darken.

“Show me.” His voice is husky and his gravely voice fills the quiet apartment.

You look at him with your eyebrows raised in surprise. You didn’t expect that, hoping he would drop it when he heard your shaky voice reveal something you’ve never said out loud, hoping he'd grant you some relief. Suddenly your tank top and sleep shorts feel too revealing and his gaze felt too heavy. You felt exposed and felt your core warming as his gaze stayed on you. Maybe he was joking? So you let out a forced huff of a laugh, hoping he wouldn’t push. But his face doesn’t move. You gulp and look down, shifting your weight from one leg to another.

“Show me, love” he repeats again adding the term of endearment to soften you up a bit, and honestly, it does. His hand holds out the small pillow towards you and you grab it. Both of you make your way to your bedroom in silence, he's so close you can feel his body heat. Both of you breathing heavily for different reasons.

His tall, broad figure looms over you as you slowly move towards your made bed. Trying to think about how to approach this. You lay flat against your bed on your stomach and peek up at him as your head hits your regular pillow. Usually you're under your comforter, but you assume that’s not what he’d want and push it to the other side of the bed. You start to get embarrassed as to what it might look like from his angle when you start, but try to ignore it as you place your head against your pillow. You close your eyes and slowly start making small circles with your cunt against the small pillow, one leg angled and the other straight. You look up at him and let out a little huff. His dark eyes look down on you as he palms himself through his sweats, fighting the urge to touch you. You unconsciously move a bit faster at the sight of him, he's looking at you as if you're the only thing that exists. You let out a whimper, not getting enough friction. You hate when that happens, and why now?

“That’s alright poor thing, keep going.” He has to bite his lip to restrain himself when you look up at him with desperate eyes. He pushes his sweats and boxers down and gently pushes them away with his foot as if any sudden movement would disturb this moment. He watches your body contort as you try to find your rhythm again, thighs clenching hard around the small pillow, hips moving up and down, side to side.

He slowly grabs his cock, thumb spreading his precum over the head. He lets out a small hiss and your eyes open to look at him. Pleading eyes find his and he nods his head in encouragement. Your thighs squeeze the pillow even harder but it’s not enough so you prop yourself up on your forearms with both knees bent out on each side of the pillow and start grinding the pillow at different speeds, trying to find one that works.

“Fuck, poor baby. Can’t get it right can you?” You let out a small whimper and shake your head as your brows furrow in frustration. His eyes trace your body, stopping to look at your hard nipples under your thin tank top as you press yourself further up, arching your body. Palms pressing against your bed as you ride the pillow. If the room wasn’t so quiet he would’ve missed the small “oh” that leaves your lips as you finally find your rhythm. He spits into his hand and starts to stroke himself faster. You open your eyes to look at him before closing them, moaning louder at the sight of his big hand twisting on his thick cock. You both look at each other as you get closer to your releases. His hand and your grinding speed up as you both reach your highs.

“Look at me. Don’t close your eyes. Look at me when you finish” He lets out tightly, voice gruff as he tries to hold back from cumming at the sight of you. Your eyebrows furrow and your mouth gapes open as you reach your release. Letting out a moan as your body twitches, fighting to keep your eyes on him. He palms his cock faster as he looks you in the eyes, he takes a step forward till his legs touch the edge of your bed and lets out a groan as he cums onto your limp body. Most of it landing on your tank top and lower back. You let out a lazy smile into your pillow as he leans down and pushes a kiss onto your head. You hear him walk to your bathroom. Faucet turning on and off, his heavy footsteps getting closer.

“Why don’t we take this off and wipe you up?” His voice makes you want to melt. You lift your body as he carefully peels the tank top off of you. Then wipes your lower back with a small damp towel. Placing both of them in your hamper he leans down to kiss you.

“Know I’m still sweaty so I can go ba-“ you interrupt him by wrapping your arms around his head to pull him down into bed with you. Pressing your naked body, save for your wet underwear, against his fully naked body.

“It’s alright, we’re both sweaty and I want you to hold me please” you say as you gaze into his warm eyes, hands stroking his hairy chest.

“That’s fine love let me just get my pillow” he lets out a playful groan as he reaches behind you to grab the small pillow that now has a big wet patch in the middle. Your face gets hot as he brings it in front of you both, glancing at you before he brings the pillow to his face. Your face heats up as you turn your head into his neck not wanting to watch him as he presses it against his face.

⭐️I had to make him sniff the pillow. Duh! ⭐️if anyone has an interpretation of this please!!! share it with me. I didn't know who would best fit this. Also I wish I could make this dark but I'm not good at it so I would also love to listen to those thoughts! ⭐️This is just a thought that would not leave me until it was written down.

[darknessawaits28]

We have a small problem {Borderlands series}

Hello again my lovies, wanted to give you another different story that was requested. It is based around the borderlands universe. Hope you enjoy my lovies! :3 Thank you again for all your love and support! Stay awesome!

The storyline was provided by @tim-ribbert-56, make sure to give them a follow! :3

Storyline: The 2nd request is a borderlands story sort of a parody of 50s and 60s sci fi movies. So this story focuses on Lilith as she is infected by strange spores that cause her to shrink she's so small that she has to use a napkin has make shift clothing. The spores were created by stupid mad scientist called Doctor Size (he's still trademarking the name XD) who believes that everything would be better if everyone was small because he hadn't had a growth spurt sense he was 10. Lilith has to find the antidote to restore to her normal size fortunately someone comes to help and help her find the doctor's lab unfortunately this help is one of the most stupid robots ever

Warnings: Cussing, gun use, guts and blood, etc. Viewer discretion somewhat advised!

“Dammit, he went that way!” Lilith shouted as she used her phasewalking abilities to shove past some bandits and squeeze her way towards Doctor Size; another dumb addition to this wasteland of a planet. 

“Oh Lilith, when will you realize that your temper…..will always be your downfall!” Doctor size laughed as he flipped a switch the moment she entered the room, two enormous gun rays shooting a spore cloud down at her, swarming her with a bright purple cloud. 

“What the fuck, what the hell are you-” Lilith gasped as she felt her body becoming numb and the room in front of her almost shrinking in size. 

“Enjoy your new and improved body Lilith, ta ta!” Doctor size laughed as he scurried off. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Lilith growled as she maneuvered herself out of her enormous clothes and gasped when she realized that she was naked. “Just my luck” she angrily sighed. 

Looking around to see if she could find suitable clothing, she found a semi-dirty napkin she could use to wrap her body with. “Guys, hello!” she called out trying to see if she could call her team. “Damn I’m going to need to-” before she could finish her sentence, she heard strange rolling sounds coming towards her. “Oh shit, it can’t be.”

“Untz, untz, untz wub wub wub” a familiar voice rolled in while flailing his arms and then by accidentally hearing a crunch beneath him. “Ewww did I step on a bug or just your mom, zing!” he laughed, slowly rolling backwards to find something or someone flat on the ground. 

“Dammit claptrap, why the fuck do you always have to fuck up everything!” She growled angrily, trying to get unstuck from the ground.

“Hey ain't clothes supposed to shrink with you cause I heard Alice could and she got drunk off that drink me crap” he chuckled, using his clamps to pull off the small person off the ground and then used his robot eye to zoom in just a tad bit to see that it was Lilith. “Oh Lilith, it's you, what's up!”

“Claptrap, I swear to god, if you don’t put me down, I am going to fucking melt your pathetic body into scrap!” 

Although, as Lilith yelled and screamed at him, all that he could hear was tiny squeaks and yelling. “Uh, yeah Lilith I can’t understand you, give me one second….boop beep boop boop beep, okay there we go, now you can speak!”

Lilith, glaring angrily at Claptrap, recomposed herself, and then began to speak, “Oh now you can hear me okay….let me just…..PUT ME THE FUCK DOWN NOW!”

“Oh crap!” Claptrap gasped as he quickly set Lilith down on the laboratory table. “Okay, okay, geez, what’s got your panties in a knot?”

“Well as you can see Claptrap, I am small, I can’t reach our team, and I’m fucking freezing because I don’t have any clothes to wear!” 

“Well obviously you can’t reach your team Lilith, you're so small.” 

“I am going to kill you Claptrap when I’m big again” she sighed, looking around to see if she could find some clothes that could fit her. “Claptrap, why don’t you be useful and find me some clothes.”

“Ai ai captain!” Claptrap saluted Lilith and then began to roll around the lab, trying to find her some clothes.

“Gosh, why did it have to be him…it could’ve been Roland or Brick, or even fucking Mordecai, but it had to be this dumb ass robot” she sighed, feeling her next moments were going to be incredibly hard. 

“Hey, Lilith, I found a dress in a glass, you wanna wear it?!” Claptrap called from across the room. 

“What kind of dress?” Lilith turned around, squinting her eyes to see what the dress looked like. “Can you bring it over here you dumbass, I can’t see it.” 

“Oh sorry” Claptrap quickly rolled over to her and then held up the cute tiny dress in front of her eyes with his two clamps. 

“Ugh, gods, why did it have to be this color and a dress too?” Lilith grumbled, gesturing claptrap to give her the dress. “Hey, can I get some privacy!” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah” Claptrap said, handing her the dress and then turning around to give her some privacy. 

“So, care to tell me what happened with the rest of the team?” Lilith questioned as she pulled on the dress.

“Well Mordecai and Brick finished off the rest of the bandits out there and Roland went after that strange ass doctor with a lab coat.”

“Oh no, no, you have to reach him by echo and warn him, if that weird doctor catches Roland he’ll make him small like me!” “Argh, I hate to say this but you have to help me claptrap, our lives rest in your hands.”

“Wow, I’ve never felt so important in my life to be charged with such an important mission!” “You can count on me!” He said triumphantly once he turned around to face her. “Where too then Lilith?!” 

Lilith rolled her eyes as she couldn’t believe her own words that she was trusting this dumb ass robot with her life and making sure that he could protect her from potential bandits and who knows what until they could reach the strange ass doctor or scientist’s hideout. 

“Well, contact the rest of the team through echo to see if they can pinpoint an exact location of this asshole’s hideout.” “Afterwards, I want you to contact Roland by echo to see if he’s okay.”

“Gotcha!” Claptrap said happily as he searched through Lilith’s clothing, of course by accidentally (bullshit) grabbing her panties. “Wow Lilith, nice thong.” 

“Claptrap!” Lilith yelled, her hand turning bright red and throwing a fire charge at him. 

“Ouch!” “Okay, okay!” Claptrap began to mumble to himself as he grabbed her echo recorder and called up Mordecai. 

“Lilith is that you?!” “Are you okay?” 

“Hello traveler Mordecai, it's me Claptrap!” 

“Ugh, what the hell do you want?” “And how the hell do you have Lilith’s echo recorder?!” 

“Well, Lilith at the moment is Alice in Wonderland, as small as your primordial dick” Claptrap wheezed while laughing, acting like his joke was the funniest thing in the entire fucking planet. 

Mordecai, unfazed by his joke, rubbed his eyes in anger, “Okay Claptrap, why don’t you be useful and ask Lilith what she wants us to do?” 

“Well Lilith wants you to see if you can pinpoint the location of the mad doctor/scientist and send that location to us.”

“Okay, we can do that, we’ll echo you back in a few, over and out.”

“Okay Lilith, Mordecai is going to try and find a location for that asswad, do you want me to echo Roland?”

“Yes you idiot!” 

“Okay!” Claptrap nodded, the word ‘idiot’ completely going over his robot head. As he pressed the button on the echo to call Roland, he noticed that it didn’t go through. “Welp, I guess he’s dead, so what’s the next plan?”

Lilith let out a large sigh, crossing her arms in anger, “Claptrap, as we wait for Mordecai to echo us back, why don’t you put me on top of your head and let's get out of this lab.” “And be careful with me, I’m small and don’t want to get squished like you did to me before!”

“Got it” Claptrap slowly rolled over to Lilith and gently picked her up with his left clamp and then placed her on his head. “You can grab onto my antenna but be gentle” he tried to whistle, trying to be funny once again. 

“I want to die” she groaned in annoyance as she grabbed onto his antenna, wishing that she could bathe herself in a whole tube of acid because who knows where his antenna has been. 

“Let’s get out of this lab!” Claptrap chuckled as he rolled out of the building and into the blazing pandoran sun. 

“Argh” Lilith winced as she used her tiny arm to cover her face from the sun. “Damn, is the sun always this blazing.”

“Well Lilith, due to your size, everything is quite dangerous and could potentially kill you.” 

“Thanks for the reminder Claptrap, fuck, we have to find Roland and that scientist so I can get back to my normal size, who knows what those bandits will do if they capture me….ugh…” Lilith shivered at the very thought of being captured and used as a toy by bandits. 

Suddenly, Lilith’s echo went off, an indication that Mordecai was calling her back. “Claptrap answer it.” 

“Got it!” “Hellooooooo!” Claptrap gleefully said through the echo.

“It hurts my entire being just hearing your voice claptrap but I found the location of the doctor or scientist guy.” “He seems to be in the bloody eye tavern, well underground.”

“Okay I’ll inform Lilith, my friend!”

“We are not fr-” 

As Claptrap cut off Mordecai, he put away the echo recorder and prepared himself to tell Lilith the location of the doctor. “So Mordecai said that the doctor is in an underground lab in the Bloody Eye Tavern.” 

“Oh not that Tavern” Lilith rubbed both her eyes in frustration.

“What’s wrong with that Tavern?” “Don’t you like sweaty men fighting against each other for who comes on top?” “Ooooo how about watching two midgets skipping rope in a fat guy's rib cage?!” 

“No Claptrap…..because I know the owner of the Tavern and he didn’t take too kindly to me burning half of his establishment and his arm the last time that I met him.”

“Oooooo tough one…..well you’re on your own with that!”

“Claptrap!” 

“I’m just kidding, whaaat you can’t take a joke Lilith?” 

“Claptrap, I am not in the mood for your jokes, I am small, could potentially die from anything in my vicinity, and you are the only one that can protect me.”

“Wow, I feel so special!” “Here I am, team captain Claptrap to the rescue!” “To glory!!” he shouts loudly as he flailed his arms around while rolling forward.

“This is how I die isn’t it?” Lilith held his antenna tightly while regretting putting all her faith in Claptrap. 

“Okay, so where can we get a car?” “Ah, I see” Claptrap spoke heroically while sneaking around in case there were any spare bandits roaming around or potentially dangerous wildlife that could harm him and Lilith. “Claptrap stealth time….boo ba ta ta….chu ta tu ta ta” he idiotically began to ‘silently’ beatbox while sneaking towards the Catch-a-Ride station. 

Once they got to the Catch-a-Ride station, claptrap ordered up a car, scooters voice popping up, “I’m Scooter, and this is my Catch-a-Ride! Can’t really say one way or the other. Vault’s real, Vault ain’t, flip a coin, say a prayer, whatever!” “Let’s trick out ya ride!” 

“Alright, let’s go with the classic and boom!” Claptrap digistructed the vehicle, his body teleporting into the car along with Lilith. “Do you want to ride on top of my head or do you want to sit on the dashboard?” 

“I’ll just stay on your head because I can see where you are going and make sure you don’t crash into anything.”

“Okay!” “Well let’s go!” “Walking is for suckers!” Claptrap yelled loudly as he attempted to drive forward but went backwards, hitting a couple of garbage cans. “Whoops, wrong button!” 

“Claptrap what the hell?!” Lilith gasped as she had almost fallen off of his head but thank goodness that she held on tight to his antenna. 

“Don’t worry Lilith, your life is in good hands!” He chuckled, pressing the correct pedal to go forward but kept going forward and then stopping, forward, and then stopping. 

“Claptrap I swear to god if you don’t fucking drive correctly I’m going to seriously burn you again!” 

“Okay, okay, I’m trying!” Claptrap began to whimper and cry as he tried to drive correctly. As he corrected himself, he finally went forward smoothly, driving down Psycho road and towards the Blood Eye Tavern. 

“There we go!” “Smooth as a baby's butt!” 

“Claptrap….in no way were you smooth…” she smiled, trying to hold back the laughter that was stuck in her throat because if she even hinted at laughing at his jokes or his idiotic behavior, she would surely not hear the end of his boastfulness. 

Within a few minutes, they neared Ash Gulch, the worst town to ever be near, which was the likely place for a Tavern. “Alright Lilith, we are nearing the-” “Aw crap!”

Lilith gasped as she felt Claptrap stomp on the brakes hard, almost sending her flying. “What the hell is going on?” 

“We got a blockade on the road and-” 

“Wait, stop moving would ya!” Lilith ordered him as she maneuvered herself on his head and narrowed her eyes to see what the sign said. “Read that sign on the concrete slab.”

“It says pay the toll or suffer the wrath of the Psycho twins, Marleen and Sharleen.” “Wow, such lame names, I was kind of expecting a six eyed joe along with his sister fingerless Sarah” Claptrap joked. 

“Damn, do you see a way past this barrier Claptrap?”

“No I don’t see how we could, even if there is a small gap for me to go but I am pretty sure the developers of this game wouldn’t allow me to go through there, so we either pay the toll or kick some ass!”

Lilith shook her head in annoyance once again as she stomped her way over to his antenna. “Okay Claptrap, let's enter through that alleyway and see if we can pay this toll so we can finally reach that tavern.”

“Gotcha!” Claptrap spoke excitedly as he jumped out of the car carefully and began to roll inside the alleyway. Within a few seconds, he entered the Devil’s Den which was filled with bandits, psychos, murderers, and maybe the occasional retired vault hunters that never got a chance to find the vault. “Eww this place looks terrible.”

“Shut up Claptrap, we don’t want to cause any trouble, they’re already letting us pass them without any issues, don’t make it worse.”

“Oh come on, I mean look at this place, it looks like someone took a shit, then took that piece of shit and spread it everywhere.”

“He said mean thing, kill him!” An angry psycho shouted as he raised his buzzaxe in anger, beginning to charge at Claptrap while the others pulled out their weapons to shoot at Claptrap and Lilith. 

“Claptrap you idiot!” Lilith shouted as she ducked a bit on his head while he flailed his arms like crazy trying to go behind cover. “Dammit you’re going to have to defend us!” she growled, looking around to see if she could find a weapon for him to use. “Wait, there, right across there!” She pointed beside the garbage bin that had an SMG next to it, a low rarity but it would have to do. 

“I don’t think I can do it!” “They’re shooting at me!” Claptrap whimpered, quickly pulling all his limbs inside of his body to hide. 

“Claptrap I know you’re scared….so I am….but-” Lilith sighed as she prepared herself to say something that hurt her entire soul. “But you are stronger than that, you can save us, you are braver than me….please…”. 

Hearing those words kick started something within him, like a courageous button had been pushed within his cortex. “Okay I got this, to glory again!” He shouted, grabbing Lilith with his clamp and holding her close, dodging the line of fire of the other bandits as he rolled fast towards the SMG.

“He’s too fast, this fucking robot, get him!” A bandit yelled as he tried to shoot Claptrap. 

“Ah!” Lilith screamed as she almost got shot, but Claptrap heroically blocked it with his body and then grabbed the SMG, spraying all of the bandits with its bullets (Surprisingly it had a targeting scope which allowed him to simply fire and it would automatically headshot enemies). 

“Argh bleh…” the bandits roared in agony once they were shot.

The psycho that initially told his friends to fight, charged at Claptrap. “I’m going to strip you for parts!” he laughed crazily, raising his buzzaxe to slice him up. 

“Shit, I ran out of bullets!” Claptrap gasped, throwing the SMG to the side and used his fist o cuffs to punch the psycho right in his face, basically blasting his brain out from his skull (kind of impossible but hell, this is pandora, you could say anything goes here).

“Holy shit Claptrap” Lilith gasped as she adjusted her vision to see the almost blurry sight in front of her. “Y-You killed them all…”.

“Sure did, and I blasted this guy’s brains out, ahahahha!” he laughed heroically once again and then quickly put Lilith back on top of his head. 

Lilith was completely speechless of how this annoying little shit bot protected her and was able to kill so many bandits, maybe she and her friends were wrong about him. “Thanks Claptrap for saving me.” 

“Any time Lilith, now why don’t we pay this toll and get the hell out of this Den.”

Claptrap soon rolled into this run down parlor that was filled with bloody skulls, spines, and who knows what else.

“Hey Marleen, look at what rolled into our spot” Sharleen laughed as she grabbed her pistol and walked from around the counter. 

“What, another vault hunter-OH-a claptrap unit, ooo we can fetch a pretty penny if we strip it for parts” Marleen laughed crazily, jumping in front of the counter and pulled out her shotgun. 

“Aww crap!” “Wait, wait, wait, listen, why can’t we be friends?” “I mean I can do some dubstep?”

Sharleen, curious about his proposal, put her pistol to the side, “You can make dubstep?”

“Alright crap bot, show us” Marleen huffed, putting her shotgun to the side as well. 

“This isn’t going to work Claptrap” Lilith whispered to him, worried that these two psycho girls were going to kill both of them on the spot; but she was glad that they didn’t notice her, maybe they thought she was an ornament on top of his head, just for looks as they say. 

“Okay, here we go!” “Wub wub untz untz wub wub untz untz!” “DROP!” “Wub wub wub wub wub wub untz wub wub wub wub!” Claptrap beatboxed while dancing. “TA!” was the last thing that Claptrap spoke as he recomposed himself, hunching a bit as he waited for their reaction. 

Although, as Marleen and Sharleen stood there in shock, they cheered happily, jumping up and down while clapping. 

“Oh my gosh, that was the best dubstep I have ever heard!” Sharleen yelled in glee.

“Yes, me too!” “I loved it!” Marleen laughed. 

“Ah you see Lilith, they like my dubstep, no need to worry!” “Well then my lovely gals, can we pass safely?” He spoke in a roguish kind of outlawish voice. 

“Yes you can sweetie!” The two sisters giggled, approaching him and giving him a kiss on either side of his metal cheek. 

“Oooooo cheeky!” Claptrap chuckled. 

“You can pass safely, doll, we’ll lift the barrier up for you, no need to worry about the toll” Sharleen pulled on the lever that lifted up the barrier to the outside.

“Come back some time, we want to hear more of that dubstep!” Marleen slightly begged him, acting all cute and innocent. 

“Thank you ladies!” “And maybe I will!” 

Claptrap soon excited the Devil’s Den and headed towards his car, feeling so heroic and arrogant. “You see that Lilith, we didn’t need your other friends to help you!” “I single handedly defeated the Psycho twins with my dubstep!”

“I got to hand it to you Claptrap, that was fucking amazing” Lilith laughed as she slowly sat down on top of his head and felt kind of happy that this dumb ass robot was the one to roll into the lab. 

“Thank you Lilith, I know my cunning looks and fabulously devious moves can turn on so many women.” “You know I can definitely make you dripping wet, all you gotta do is ask.” 

“Okay Claptrap you ruined the moment, just please drive….” Lilith almost gagged at his offer.

“Oh come on, that’s not what your mom said last night, ZING!” Claptrap laughed as he pressed the gas pedal and the car instantly sped off and past the lifted barrier. 

Within a few minutes, they had both arrived at Ash Gulch, finally being able to locate the Bloody Eye Tavern; Claptrap parking the car horribly, as usual. “Okay, here we are Lilith, now where did Mordecai exactly say this lab was?”

“He said it was underground, but…uh….there doesn’t seem to be an entrance from out here…shit…we are going to have to go into the tavern.” “Claptrap, listen to me, I need you to stay focused and not cause any scene in this tavern.” “They’re probably loads of bandits with higher stats that could potentially kill you, and I don’t want that for either of us.” “And me being small makes it worse because I can potentially get blown to bits by a stray bullet or crushed to death by boots.” 

“Don't worry your pretty little face Lilith, I got this!” 

“Fuck me…” Lilith mumbled to herself as she gripped onto his antenna again once he stepped out of the car, knowing for a fact he was going to find some way to fuck this all up.

“BOOSH!” Claptrap slammed the saloon door open with his clamp, everyone and their mama glancing over at him in disgust and annoyance; even the piano player stopped playing as he saw this rolling pile of bolts just enter this tavern without worry.

“Welcome to the-Ugh….a crap bot….what do you want shit face?!” A familiar voice spoke out, Lilith immediately ducking her body a bit as to not be seen. 

“Hello fellow patrons, I am Claptrap and seek the location of the doctor or scientist that lives in your basement!?”

“The doc isn’t in, he can take a message, but I don’t know if I feel like giving him one.”

“Huh, what’s your name, fellow sir!?” 

“Fuck you, that’s my name.”

“Well, Mr. fuck you, I really need to get my friend Lilith down there because she needs to be taller again because that Dr. unfortunately shrunk her.”

“Lilith, where’s that bitch, she owes me a fucking arm and a new bar” he growled as he showed Claptrap his metal arm. 

“Claptrap shut up!” Lilith shouted. 

“Huh, what the-” the familiar man quickly jumped over the counter and grabbed the little toy that was on top of claptrap. “No way, Lilith?!” 

“Argh, Avik, let go of me!” Lilith struggled against his grip.

“Karma’s a bitch huh, why should I let you go hmmm?” “You owe me after you burnt my arm off and destroyed my entire establishment.”

“Ah…I-I’m sorry that happened to you…b-but you were going to kill me!” “Wait a minute…y-you can hear me?” 

“Um…yeah I can hear you clearly, I ain’t deaf.”

“Claptrap, what the fuck, did you lie to me when you said you couldn’t hear me?” Lilith glanced over at Claptrap who seemed to be rubbing his clamps in worry.

“Heh, heh, uh….yeah about that…I was just joking around….uh…yeah…”. 

“So you mean I could’ve spoken to the Psycho twins this whole time or done something!” 

“Well yeah but hey, I was able to defeat them with my dubstep so win win!”

“Ugh I’m going to fucking kill him.” 

“Hey, hey, we ain’t done talking” Avik shook Lilith a bit to get her to focus on him.

“Avik please….let me at least grow in size so that I could give you some money or….get you something….” Lilith pleaded with him.

“Why should I believe you?” “What could you possibly have that I don’t already own or need?”

“Well I could….give you the coordinates to the vault….my team and I have it.”

“You do?” Avik questioned in curiosity, readying himself for the coordinates so that he could be the first to open the vault and reap the riches within. 

“Yeah, yeah, I do, just tell me where I can find this Dr. and then I can give you the coordinates.”

“Lilith, you know the coordinates to the vault?” “I thought you guys were still looking for its location?” “Wow, you guys are really quick,” Claptrap blurted out. 

Avik glanced down at Lilith after Claptrap blurted out the truth and glared daggers at her for lying. 

“Just fucking kill me…..” Lilith sighed as she closed her eyes at how stupid and incompetent Claptrap was that he couldn’t even keep a secret nor understand that she was trying to lie to get her way out of this predicament. 

“Oh did I say that out loud MY BAD!” Claptrap shouted as he quickly punched one of the bandits near him in the balls and grabbed his SMG. “CLAPTRAP TO THE RESCUE!” he shouted loudly.

Avik gasped as he dropped Lilith onto the floor, quickly grabbing his gun to defend himself. “Fucking kill them!” 

Lilith winced violently as she was dropped onto the floor from a significant height, causing her to run across the wooden floor of the tavern, trying to dodge the heavy boots and shoes that were running to cover. “Dammit Claptrap!” She quickly ran behind the bar counter, making sure that she was well hidden behind some bottles on the floor.

“Get that fucking crap bot now and if you find that little bitch, bring her to me!” Avik shouted to the others. 

Claptrap quickly rolled behind cover and reloaded his weapon, panicking slightly because he was being overrun by bandits. “Crap, crap, crap!” he shouted as he scrambled to another cover. 

“He’s too fast boss!” A bandit shouted. 

“I don’t fucking care if he’s the fucking flash, kill him!” Avik growled as he went behind the bar and then noticed something glowing behind some bottles, a large grin appearing across his lips. “Hello Lilith” He laughed, grabbing her violently and then making sure that she was close to his face. 

“Avik fuck!” Lilith grumbled as she gripped his hand that wrapped around her tiny body.

“It’s over crap bot, I got your friend over here, why don’t you come on out and we’ll make sure to be gentle when we scrap you.”

“C-Claptrap don’t do it….k-kill these fuckers argh!”

“Shut up!” Avik growled as he shook her a bit, almost giving her a concussion. 

Claptrap, hearing Lilith in distress, caused a sort of burning rage within him, his one eye turning red as he slowly went into berserk mode. “YAAAAA” he shouted as he charged at the bandits, firing and punching anywhere he could.

Avik, shocked by this, slowly walked backwards in fear, not believing that a simple robot could cause such mayhem. “Stop him!” 

Within a split second, Claptrap was in front of Avik with a rocket launcher pointed directly at his face, “Give me a reason punk!” 

“Fuck me…o-okay…t-take her…..t-the lab is behind that door behind the bar….j-just don’t shoot me” Avik trembled as he placed Lilith on top of Claptrap’s head and raised his hands up in defense.

“Holy shit Claptrap, you saved me again, thank you!” Lilith laughed as she grasped onto his antenna.

“Awwww thank you Lilith, I don’t know what the hell just happened but hey, at least we stopped your ex ex ex boyfriend from killing us!” he laughed, by accidentally firing the rocket launcher and blowing Avik into bloody bits. “Whoops….uh…..well let’s get you big again Lilith” Claptrap chuckled nervously as he threw the empty launcher on the ground and quickly rolled behind the bar to enter the secret door.

Lilith couldn’t help but laugh at how he killed Avik by accident, finding his idiot behavior kind of cute. 

“Hello….anyone there?” Claptrap tried to whistle, looking around in the dark room.

“Be careful Claptrap…who knows what’s in here” Lilith warned him, trying to see in the dark room but couldn’t see much.

Suddenly, lights turned on, a view of an enormous laser pointing directly onto a lab bed where Roland was tied to.  

“Roland!” Lilith shouted, shocked to find him there in restraints. 

“Well, well, well, look who has decided to return, in record time, I was getting quite bored here waiting for you Lilith” Doctor Size laughed as he walked towards the middle of the rafters he was on. 

“Bastard, let Roland go, he has nothing to do with this!” 

“Quite the opposite Lilith, he has everything to do with it….your bastard of a friend laughed at me because I was small…..and now he will be smaller than me!” Doctor Size laughed as he flipped the switch behind him, the laser beginning to charge slowly.

“Lilith….C-Claptrap….y-you gotta hit the small switches on the ground……t-that’s the only way to stop the laser from firing and releasing those spore clouds!” Roland shouted at them.

“Shit….Claptrap….you gotta shoot at the doctor to distract him while I flip the switches.”

“Got it, be careful!” Claptrap said as he picked her up by his clamp and set her down, grabbing his SMG and began to fire at the doctor who was also shooting him back. 

“You won’t win Lilith, I already shrunk you, and once I am finished shrinking your other friends here….I will shrink the world!” Doctor Size manically laughed as he began to shoot at Claptrap.

Lilith quickly ran as fast as she could, flipping one of three switches, the doctor shaking in pain as he was being electrocuted because the switches that she was flipping were connected to the main one (They were all connected to the main one, the tiny switches were the emergency shut offs, that combined with the main switch being on; releases an electrical charge that could potentially destroy the laser). 

“Argh, stop her!” Doctor size yelled as he ordered his army of tiny minions to attack Lilith. 

“Hey you big small dummy, I’m over here, attack me!” Claptrap flailed his arms around, trying to distract him away from Lilith.

“Shit!” Lilith gasped as she saw these tiny bandits coming towards her with buzz axes. “Wait, I’m a siren” She laughed as she used her powers to phase through them and burn them instantly when she went through their bodies. “HA!” she chuckled, continuing to run and headed underneath Roland’s table, flipping the second switch. 

“Eughhhhh!” “D-Dammit….stop her for goodness sake!” Doctor size shook in pain once again, trying to regain his composure as he was electrocuted again.

After Lilith had finished with the second switch, she ran towards the third switch, a loud gasp escaping her lips as she saw that the floor in front of her was covered in an electrical current. “Claptrap throw something on the floor so I can reach the switch!!”

“On it!” Claptrap called to her, quickly grabbing a box of nudie mags and throwing it onto the electricity covered floor. 

“Really!?” Lilith growled as she saw the magazines hit the floor, surprisingly not causing the pages to burn up or react to the electricity. 

“Hey, don’t complain to me, I’m dealing with a maniac that wants to kill me AHH!” Claptrap screamed, flailing his arms again when Doctor Size tried shooting him again.

Lilith shrugged in worry, using her abilities (Just in case) to walk along the pages of the magazines, finally being able to reach the third switch and flipping it.

“Arghhh!” Doctor size shouted in pain as he was electrocuted again, the machine completely bursting in flames and shutting down, Roland being able to escape the table. 

“Nice one!” Roland shouted as he quickly ran over to where Lilith was and picked her up, making sure that she stood on his shoulder to view the beautiful sight before them.

“Hell yeah, we did it, we did it!” Claptrap danced alongside Roland, happy that they were able to defeat the Doctor.

Although, as the electricity stopped, the doctor fell over the rafters, landing directly on the lab bed that Roland was tied to, not dead yet.

“It’s over Doctor Size, you failed” Lilith said triumphantly as she held onto Roland’s ear for support. 

“Oh…you may have won this battle Lilith…but I won’t stop.” “I will make sure to turn the whole world into tiny people, trapping them in jars, and making them drink pickle juice!” “You will rue the day that you were born Lilith, for I AM DOCTOR SI-” within seconds the laser that he was going to use on Roland completely crushed his body in one fail swoop, the whole area being covered in blood and guts.

“Well…that was fucking anticlimactic and…bloody…ewww” Claptrap interjected as he poked Doctor Size’s intestines with a random stick he found. 

“Indeed it was” Roland gagged at the sight before him and then quickly turned away to walk over to the small bottle of what he thought was the antidote. “Alright Lil, I think we have your antidote here, time to be big again.”

“You sure this is the antidote and not a jar full of poison or another serum that would turn me into a rakk?”

“I think the bottle labeled antidote in big letters is a huge hint Lil” Roland chuckled as he grabbed her gently from his shoulder and set her down on the table. 

“Don’t start with me Roland, I had a hard enough time dealing with Claptrap.”

“Heyyy I thought we bonded good!” 

Roland shook his head as he grabbed the bottle and opened it, making sure that she was able to drink the liquid.

As Lilith drank a bit of the liquid, she gasped, her body instantly growing into her normal self, of course naked again. “Shit!” She gasped, trying to cover herself up.

“Crap…uhhh…..here take my jacket” he said as he pulled his jacket off and then wrapped it around her naked body. 

Lilith accepted his offer and pulled his jacket close to her body, a small smile appearing across her lips, feeling a spark ignite within her heart.

Roland, feeling that same spark, moved away from her to give her some space. “Let’s see if we can scrounge anything up before we leave.”

“Good idea!” Claptrap laughed hysterically as he began to dig through the Doctor’s belongings.

“I’ll wait here” Lilith smiled, kicking her legs back and forth like a giddy school girl while sitting on the lab table. 

“Hey, check this out…I think the doctor made a prototype ray gun that….heh…who would’ve thought….a portable shrink gun” Roland chuckled as he held the weapon, slowly walking over to show Lilith.

“Really, who would’ve known, he really was going to shrink the entire world” Lilith joked as she jumped off the table and held the gun, examining it curiously; of course still holding the jacket as to not stand there naked. 

“Phew, good thing I stopped him!” Claptrap chuckled as he placed both of his clamps on his metaphorical hip. 

Lilith glanced down at Claptrap angrily, pointing the shrink gun at him and then shooting him with the spore cloud, causing him to quickly shrink in size. 

“Good luck getting the antidote from there Claptrap” Lilith laughed as she walked out with the gun. “Pay back’s a bitch!” 

“What, oh come on Lilith, I thought we were bonding!” Claptrap shouted, not believing that she would’ve shrunk him. “Roland please help me get up there!” 

“Uhh, oop that’s my cue, sorry Claptrap, got to help Lilith before more bandits come” Roland raised his hands up in defense and left poor old Claptrap to fend for himself.

“Come on please!” Claptrap cried out in anguish, and then glanced in the endless void. “Welp…..I guess I can finally swim in some rakk ale.”

*Cuts to the bar* 

“Ahh this is the life” Claptrap sighed happily as he swam in a glass full of rakk ale. 

[the-dalseum-duet]

in dalseum angst and fluff are synonymous

obligatory “partipicant in the conversation that inspired this” tag: @svwhssftr

lots of things I have been thinking about just thrown into one big mess here. noeul sang the man that you are. I want to chop him up in a meat grinder and see what comes out (affectionate?)

also idk what possesses me when I write kai but it isn’t me who writes what he says. I think he actually possesses me

“You want a blue one?” Noeul rummaged through the plastic bin of various markers between him and Crow. All shades of the rainbow were scattered around his crushed velvet duvet. Before he could find one, Crow had already uncapped one with his tiny, nimble hands. 

“I got it,” Crow mumbled, attempting to hold Noeul’s arm in place as he intently scribbled within the lines of his Twin Fantasy tattoo. 

“You got it,” Noeul repeated. “Do you know what this tattoo is?” 

Crow shook his head, eyes transfixed on the tip of his marker. 

“It’s one of my favorite albums. You know, I think you’d like it. I’ll put it on for us.” 

Noeul snaked his arm away from Crow’s grasp to reach into the record bin beside his bed. He flicked through his collection before removing the vinyl from its sleeve and placing it on his record player. He briefly considered if playing “Sober to Death” was a good choice in front of his toddler, but decided the song itself was fine. He lined up the grooves before setting the needle. 

“This one’s my favorite song from the album,” he explained as he resettled into his bed. Crow simply nodded as he continued coloring. 

Noeul’s eyelids became heavy as he stared at his dark ceiling and stretched out his legs. For once, the world wasn’t closing in on him. Under the dull lamplight beside his bed, everything was okay. If only for a minute, everything was okay. 

He turned his head to the side against his pillow and watched as Crow began to color the wings of his moth tattoo. He knew the colors by heart: yellow, brown, and black. Noeul still wasn’t sure about the sensation of his own eyes— his father’s eyes— staring back at him. They weren’t clouded by scorn or disdain or any other rage that plagued generations of the Sang family yet. They were blank and entirely focused on coloring a bug. Noeul almost smiled but found himself half-scoffing. 

“Hey bitch,” Kai yawned as he swung open Noeul’s door by pressing his entire weight against it. “Did you remember not to eat any dairy today?” 

Noeul’s eyes widened as he rapidly glanced between Kai and his hyperfixated child. “A warning would have been nice.” 

“I thought Sonnet had her tonight.” Kai crossed his arms. 

“They had a busy day. Marie fell right asleep, but she wasn’t interested in that.” Noeul ruffled the top of Crow’s hair. “I’m letting her wear herself out.” 

“So, there won’t be any…” 

“Not tonight.” 

“You’re so lame,” Kai whined. “Actually doing shit with your kid. Why are you trying to be a good father?”

“Crow’s a good kid. She needs someone good to take care of her, at least sometimes.” 

“Hi, Kai,” Crow quietly said, his big dark eyes locking with Kai’s for a split second. 

“She knows my name!” Kai exclaimed, his tune quickly changing. He took a spot across from him and crossed his legs. 

“She really doesn’t talk much,” Noeul said. “You should be honored.” 

“I’m so honored,” Kai said, grabbing a black marker from the bin.

“I’m kind of worried,” Noeul explained. “Marie’s nearly speaking in full sentences in Khmer. Crow’s picking up a little bit of Korean, but she barely speaks at all. Even in English.” 

“That’s okay.” Kai started drawing on an empty patch of skin on Noeul’s arm. “Someone in this damn Palace needs to be quiet on occasion.” 

“Sara’s been dogging on me to get her tested,” Noeul said, “because Blaire was on the spectrum or whatever, so there’s a chance that she is. I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal, though. A diagnosis won’t change anything.” 

“She’s chill,” Kai said, nodding. “I don’t care what she is. I fuck with her. I don’t fuck with most kids, but she’s cool.”

“Maybe word that differently.”

“You know what I mean.”

“What are you drawing on my arm?” Noeul tilted his head to inspect Kai’s masterpiece. 

“It’s abstract,” Kai explained. By “abstract,” Kai meant a crudely drawn penis. 

“Very classy,” Noeul flatly said. 

“It takes years of practice to get it that symmetrical.”

“Oh, I’m sure.” Noeul rolled his eyes. 

“Wait, is this Car Seat Headrest?” Kai craned his neck to inspect the record playing. 

“I was explaining my tattoo,” Noeul said. “You have to teach ‘em young.” 

“I’ve never met a baby who liked Car Seat Headrest.”

“I don’t think she’s feeling it. She’s more of a Tears for Fears fan.” 

“Ooh, Tears for Fears?” Kai said. “Crow, what’s your favorite song?” 

“Rule the World,” Crow answered, a few of the consonants misshapen. 

“Damn,” Kai sighed. “Noeul, your baby’s a poser. Can’t even say the whole title.” 

“Let her have her moment,” Noeul said, playfully elbowing Kai. 

“She’s knocking herself out over there.” Kai nodded to the rainbow vomit that had covered Noeul’s tattoos, courtesy of Crow. 

“Oh, she loves this,” Noeul said. “She’s pretty good at drawing, too. Put anything she can draw with in front of her, and she’s going to do this for hours on end.”

Kai almost spoke, but he just tilted his head and grinned. 

“Magwi, tell him about what you’re coloring,” Noeul whispered, pointing at his moth tattoo. 

“A death’s head hawkmoth,” Crow said, pointing at it with the tip of his marker. Kai raised his eyebrows.

“Which ones do you like the best?” Noeul asked.

“The centipede,” Crow continued, “and I like the skulls.” 

His words were far from well-pronounced, but Kai could still piece them together. He rested his head on one of his fists. 

“Isn’t she something?” Noeul widely smiled, shaking his head to ruffle out his overgrown mullet. Kai had never seen him smile like that before. 

“I’ve never seen you like this,” Kai said, almost smiling. 

“Like what?” 

“I didn’t think you were capable of love,” Kai explained. “I just assumed you hated everything that wasn’t—“

Kai briefly narrowed his eyes at Crow before clearing his throat. “—carnal pleasure. I haven’t seen you this excited since we were dumb kids doing illegal shit.” 

“I don’t know, man,” Noeul said. “It’s kind of embarrassing to talk about, but this kind of shit changes you. I thought I was going to fuck everything up, but here we are.” 

“Do you like being a dad?” Kai slowly asked. “I just never pegged you as the kind of person who would.”

“Hated it at first. Now, I wouldn’t trade her for the world.” Noeul rested his forehead up against Crow’s, and he scrunched his little nose and giggled. 

Kai sighed. “You have to stop doing this, man.”

“What do you mean?”

“Being a better person. I forget you’re not all ‘Bend over, faggot-‘“

“Kai!”

“What?”

“She picks up on words crazy easy. She doesn’t even call me ‘dad’ or anything; she just calls me ‘Noeul’ because that’s what Sara calls me.”

“More like ‘screams at you,’” Kai mumbled. 

“She started saying ‘precious’ in a British accent because that’s what Gale calls her. She picks the weirdest words to cling to. I don’t think a slur is an appropriate choice.”

“It would be funny as hell, though. We don’t even know if she can reclaim that or not.” 

“I’m sure you would find it hilarious,” Noeul sighed. 

“But still, I had a point. She’s melting a soft spot in that fuckin’ ice-cold soul somewhere inside you.”

“Yeah, I think some of that nasty Southern charm is genetic. It’s hard not to fall into that trap when it’s framed as a kid who’ll listen to me talk about my pretentious music taste.” 

“Yeah, she gets it from me.” 

Noeul blinked. “What?” 

“She does. Did you forget that she’s mine?”

Kai devilishly grinned as Noeul nearly slammed his face into a pillow. 

“Now is not the time for one of your dumbass bits,” Noeul groaned. 

“What do you mean? This isn’t a bit. Of course, you wouldn’t remember because you didn’t show up to the birth of your own child. Fuckin’ whore.” 

Kai was almost afraid he struck a nerve with that one, but Noeul’s unimpressed expression eased Kai’s fear. 

“If you wanted me to knock you up, you could have just asked,” Noeul sneered. Kai’s jaw nearly hit the bed. 

“That’s enough.” Kai shook his finger as he pointed at Noeul. “I had all those organs removed as soon as I could. You know why?”

“Enlighten me.”

“Because you’re a freak who says shit like that and means it!”

“So you’re the only person around here who’s allowed to make jokes?”

“My jokes are funny. You’re not funny, Noeul. You’re insane.” 

“But here you are, in my bedroom in the middle of the night again and again.”

“Yeah, because I have to check in on my poor baby. My poor autistic baby.” 

“Kai, that isn’t funny!” Noeul laughed. 

“You’re laughing. It clearly was funny.” 

“Kai, you need to leave.” 

“What, am I not allowed to visit my daughter? My disabled daughter? God, you’re so ableist, man. I don’t want to split custody anymore.” 

“Take that to The Court. You’ll end up just like Blaire.”

Kai stopped laughing. “Noeul, we just went over you trying to be funny.” 

“That one was funny!”

“No, it wasn’t.”

“And you pretending to be the mother of my child is funny?” 

“You wouldn’t know. You weren’t there when she was born.” 

“You just said you had your uterus removed.”

“Yeah, because she took it with her.”

“Huh?”

“She got hungry. Late-night snack. Thought she would take it with her after she was born.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

“It most certainly is how that works. See, she remembers. Crow, you remember eating my uterus.” 

Crow blankly stared at Kai. Kai subtly nodded his head, and Crow followed his actions. 

Kai cackled and clasped his hands together as Noeul pressed his fingers into his temples. 

“See, she knows! She knows I’m her mother.”

“Kai, I need to sleep. Get out of here.” 

“I’ve had my fun tonight. If I didn’t get to fuck you, at least I got to fuck with your baby.”

“Please stop wording it like that.”

“Bye, Crow!” Kai blew a sarcastic kiss before dramatically exiting the bedroom. Noeul glanced over at his son, and Crow was peacefully resting against one of the satin pillows. 

“I need to invite him over more often if he wears you out that fast,” Noeul whispered, leaning over to kiss his forehead. He collected the markers before admiring the colorful display strewn across his arms and removing the vinyl from his record player. 

If he had anything, he had Crow in all of his wonderful, weird glory. He knew a long night of sleep would be waiting for them after he dimmed the lamplight. 

[semper-legens]

124. Hollow, by B Catling

Owned: No, library Page count: 254 My summary: Saint Christopher is a dog-headed man. So begins a journey through a hellish landscape, as mercenaries transport a saint to a secluded monastery. Within, a young monk who has lost his voice to the last saint searches for truth under the tutelage of his mentor. In the nearby village, a woman missing her imprisoned son starts a revolution that nobody expected. And when chaos breaks, nobody will come out smelling of roses... My rating: 2.5/5 My commentary:

Ugh. Time and again I keep getting burned by books that looked cool but were ultimately kind of boring. I know, it's my fault, I shouldn't pick up a book purely because it has a great cover and the summary sounds interesting. (Then again, what else am I meant to go on here?) And so it is with this book, something that had so much promise and potential but was ultimately just…nothing. I don't care about it. It's been a couple days since I finished it and I am legitimately struggling to remember anything about the story. It just…bored me.

First of all, this book had a general air of pretentiousness that I really didn't like. It's all about Hieronymous Bosch paintings, and surreal, devilish beings coming to life. But it's also about prejudice and fear, and how fear can harm people in real life. And also, about religion. But it never seemed to be about any of these things enough to make a proper impact. Any commentary that was being made was washed away in a tide of obscurity, and also of the fact that the characters kept talking about Bosch every five minutes, as though the author really wanted to remind us what his inspiration was. I get that it was going for surreal, but there's a fine line between surreal and just obscure for its own sake, and I feel like this book very much fell into the latter category.

And then there's just the little things that annoyed me. Like, the mercenaries kept referring to each other using 'thee' and 'thou', except they were misusing it in really glaring and obvious ways. No, it's not 'thou is', it's 'thou art'. 'Thou' and 'you' are interchangeable in a sentence, so 'you are' becomes 'thou art'. And there didn't seem to be any rhyme or reason as to why they'd be using one over the other. It wasn't to imply familiarity, I'm guessing, because characters would use 'thee' and 'you' for the same person in the same sentence. Was it just meant to sound old-timey, with no research put into how the words were actually historically used? Because that's the only explanation I can think of. And I know, this is making a lot out of what is ultimately a tiny part of the narrative, but it's this lack of attention to detail that really bugs me. If you're going to use a narrative device, at least have the decency to research it and use it well. Otherwise you end up with…this.

Overall, the story and characters just didn't grip me. It was an ugly world, filled with grotesque people, and I never really felt I had enough of a reason to care about what was happening or if any of the characters achieved their goals. I'd give this one a miss.

Next, back into the world of comics, as a young girl becomes sidekick to a Villain.

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”

[taraljc]

the Palladino's talk a lot about how Joan Rivers is one of the major influences in their creation of Midge, but I think starting with It's Comedy Or Cabbage, they've started tucking little parts of Marlena 'Lotus' Weinstock's relationship with Lenny Bruce into his and Midge's unconventional courtship.

She's a lesser known comedian outside of hardcore comedy circles, but she was a trailblazer and by all accounts her relationship with Lenny was incredibly sweet, and she was his fiancée by the time of his death:

In the autumn of '65, "Maurey" was 22 and Lenny Bruce was 40 when his roommate John Judnich brought her up to their house in the Hollywood Hills to meet the Master. She was sitting on a couch in Lenny's office when the comedian entered, wearing jeans and a denim jacket, sat next to her and dead-panned,"The dentist is very bugged today and if you don't give him some bread right away, he's gonna pull out a couple of teeth that don't have to come out." Without missing a beat, Lotus answered, "I think you're mistaken, Sir. I'm here for an internal." It was the beginning of an intense nine-month relationship.

At that time, Lenny's only personal appearances were in front of his parole officer. Club owners were afraid to put their licences at risk for presenting an "obscene" show, so the bookings dried up. He had little time for the stage anyway. He was holed up in the house full-time, surrounded by law books and legal briefs, working on his appeals for obscenity and narcotics convictions.

Legend has it that he had lost his sense of humor. Lotus didn't remember it that way.

"We laughed a lot," she told me. "And Lenny's laugh involved every cell in his body. It was a head-to-toe laugh. His standard outfit for the last few months was this long white denim nightgown. Whenever people started to get too reverential around him, I would pull up his nightgown to expose his tush and shout 'Everybody look!' It always made him giggle. But yes, he was obsessed with his appeals during that last year and rarely left the typewriter. He wasn't even questioning his First Amendment rights. He was absolutely obsessed with the fact that he had never been given a fair trial. But he still respected the system, the same way Anne Frank still believed that people were basically good, Lenny totally believed that the Constitution worked."

He called her by her original name, Marlena, because he thought "Maurey" sounded like an aging vaudeville tap-dancer. One night, he whispered his entire classic "Frank Dell at the Palladium" routine in her ear. She had never heard it before. When he brought her a flower from the garden one morning, she playfully told him that if he really loved her, he would retrieve the one lone rose that was hanging over the cliff behind the house. She then watched, terrified, as he climbed up the hill in his nightgown and hung precariously over a ridge to pluck it.

Some days were shockingly domestic. One morning she was making him breakfast and caught him reading the stock exchange. She teased him for his lack of business acumen. "You don't even know what you're looking at," she said. "You just think those are tiny sentences." When he recovered from his laugh he said, "I think we should get married." She put down her spatula and asked, "Is this a trick?" He assured her it wasn't. They both called their respective mothers to give them the news and even set a date for February. Later that day, Lenny got very quiet and bemoaned that all Lotus was getting out of the deal was "an old jailbird."

"In the last months," Lotus recalled, "he had two very clear messages that he was giving himself. One was his plan to live and one was his plan to die. One Friday night, he said to me, 'I just need to air something and I don't want you to have a dramatic reaction. I feel I'm gonna die this year.' And I said to him 'Well, if I get you some raisin cookies will you wait a year?' And he laughed, he said yes. So I ran right out and got him some raisin cookies. I thought for sure he was going to wait at least another year and by that time I'd come up with another way to postpone it."

In June of '66, he hand-wrote a cryptic note to her, mysteriously dating it "1961." It read:

Dearest Marlena, This is the last message I shall be allowed to write you. Oh my dear, sweet Marlena. Tomorrow they take me to D-Area where I will be reoriented to forget. To forget, dear, sweet Marlena. I weep with regret that I am forced to forget.

On August 2nd he assured her, "You can always trust me. I'll never hurt you."

So two days later, when there was a report on the radio that Lenny had died from an apparent drug overdose the night before, she went into denial. She assumed it was a misunderstanding stemming from the premature eulogy of Lenny that Paul Krassner had published in The Realist two years earlier.

She called the house and Judnich answered. "John," she begged, "Let me talk to Lenny." "Oh, Baby," he replied, "Sit down."

"I screamed and flipped out into the next part of my life. I went outside and screamed up the to sky, 'How could you do this? You said you'd never hurt me!' Of course, I took it personally."

[chaoticace2005]

Update: I made this a fic cause I'm sleep deprived and autistic

24 Hour Pest Control:

“My dear fellow, what are you still doing here?”

The fuck?

Here Angel was, minding his own damn business (for once, as Husk would say) and trying to recuperate from the eighteen hours of hell his bitchass boss just put him through. And now Smiles McCreepy Face is coming over wondering why he’s relaxing on the couch.

It’s HIS couch! He claimed the couch! He’s been lounging on couches since he arrived at the hotel! And he’s pretty sure when they were building the new one, he said “FUCK! That bitch is mine!” at the sight of the new couch.

It’s a nice couch.

Plus the idea of having to climb up stairs to his room is exhausting. He’s had enough unwanted exercise today, thank you very much.

“Huh?”

Because maybe Smiles will make actually fucking sense for once.

Smiles smiles smilingly and just says, with no added clarity whatsoever: “I said, what are you still doing here? I was under the impression you were moving past self destructive behaviors.”

Holy shit. Is this prick actually annoyed with him for asking for clarity? Also who’s Al to talk to Angel about self destructive behaviors? The dude has picked a fight with Adam and Lucifer (and pretty much any other being he’s come across.)

“I live here?”

Duh?

Previously he may have added a “regretfully” or “cause it’s free” to his sentence, but he’s past that. He likes it here. He likes being away from Valentino. He likes the girls. He likes Husk. He likes the feeling of thinking he can be better. He likes the bar.

“Well, I just figured it wouldn’t be for much longer if you say.”

…what?

“Are ya threatening me smiles?”

Honestly he thought they were past this. Six months of bonding and a literal war brings people close together… although it’s not like Alastor was always here. Dude came and went like a wack-a-mole. It’s the only kind of coming he did. Fuck, the man disappeared during the fight against heaven (although with good reason he assumes, given the amount of energy Alastor used.) The radio demon has a tendency of coming and going whenever he feels like it, and Angel is sure that the man doesn’t think anyone important enough to know why that is or where he goes.

Still? Threatening?!

Ohhh what if he’s on same pain/power trip like a certain moth overlord? What if he want to hurt the souls he owns and thinking hurting Angel would hurt Husk?

Would it? Does Husk really came so much about him that Alastor thinks that would work?

…would it work?

Wait. No. Stop it Anthony. Stop being gay.

(He can’t, it’s a full time job.)

There’s stereo-like laughter crackling that shales Angel out of his efforts to de-gay himself (which is something he hadn’t tried to do since the 1930s.)

“No! No! Trust me, if I was threatening you, you’d know.”

Yep, Creepy McCreep Face still gives Angel the creeps.

“What then?”

Why is the overlord so obsessed with Angel leaving? For his safety? Bullshit! If Angel was going to die, Alastor would be standing in the corner ready to watch and give some belittling commentary.

“Well, I thought someone would have told you, Niffty is on a cleaning spree!”

…so? Niffty is always on a cleaning spree. Girl has like 3 moods: cute, murder, and clean.

And that’s exactly what Angel says.

More canned laughter. God, that’s annoying.

“Yes, well, she seems especially eager to kill bugs today.”

…okay? Again. Niffty. Murder. Makes sense.

“I figured you’d want to get out of the firing range.”

“Why? Tiny’s just killing bugs.” Thankfully. He’s had his worries before but, for as unhinged as Niffty can be, the only things she seems to hurt are herself (out of enjoyment), bugs, angels, and dickheads (of the moth and Adam variety.)

“Exactly! I figured you’d want to be sure you’re not a potential target, as fun as that would be to watch!”

The fuck-

“I’m not a bug!”

There’s that weird hum, then: “Oh yeah, I guess spiders are arachnids. Most people don’t seem to know the difference though.”

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, right. He’s a spider demon.

You think he’d remember that. With the arms and the extra eyes and his weird feet and the venom he occasionally spits out, but honestly he forgot. Most of his “spider” features are under wraps. His third set of arms are usually tucked in because he barely manages to get through the day without hitting someone or something with the two pairs he has. Hell, even when he was alive, he took the “Italian” part of his identity to the extreme where hand gestures were everyone. One time he even slit a guy’s throat because he started arguing with his brother in a raid.

Plus the feet he covers with boots, the extra eyes look like freckles (and don’t get real good vision anyways), and he hasn’t used venom on anyone in years. The last time he did was on Cherri because they were fresh out of drugs and she wanted to see if she could get high off of him (she could, it was a mess, and at the time he was jealous that he couldn’t use it on himself.)

“So? She wouldn’t kill me!”

“She wouldn’t?”

…no?

“You’re telling me the famed angel killer wouldn’t want to kill an-“

Don’t say it.

“-Angel?”

Goddamnit.

“Uhhhhh…” wow, really concise.

Niffty… wouldn’t kill him? Right? Sure, she’s murdered tons of bugs before. And yeah, she did kill a bunch of angels with glee. And she’s friends with Alastor.

…and there was that time she tried to stab him after Charlie gave her a knife and told her to “stab angels.”

But…she wouldn’t?

…then again, Husk never did tell Angel what he’d deal was.

“Aw Niffty! My dear, so good to see you! What are you up to now?”

Goddamnit.

Angel shifts his vision from Alastor to the floor, where Niffty is now standing covered in blood with a giant meat cleaver.

“I was just killing all the bugs.”

She says, as she looks directly at him with that one terrifying, manic, eye.

…oh fuck.

Oh fuck.

OH FUCK.

He doesn’t think. He climbs up the wall onto the ceiling, scurrying around like a literally spider which he’s sure doesn’t help his “Niffty don’t kill me” case.

With all the scurrying he doesn't notice Alastor giving Niffty a pat on the head and gifting her with another knife. But honestly that's probably for the best.

He ends up at the door to Husk’s room, which the man is actually in for once rather than downstairs in the lounge or bar. Still on the ceiling, he knocks on the top of the door frantically.

“Fuck! Fuck! I’m coming!”

Angel’s still knocking. This is a matter of life and second death.

Husk opens the door a bit from below him, and must notice nobody standing there because there’s a “what the fuck,” as the door begins to close.

Still on the ceiling, Angel pushes the door open and hurries through, leaving Husk stumbling for a second as the door shuts again with Angel finally in a safe zone.

“What the fuck?”

“I DONT WANT TO BECOME A TIARA!” He finally screams, which gets Husk to snap his head up and look at the shaking spider on the ceiling.

“The fuck you doing?”

Fuck, he needs to make this clearer.

“I DONT WANT TO END UP ON AL’S HEAD!” (Wow, first time he's ever said that.)

There’s a pause, and then:

“Niffty?”

He nods his head.

“Bugs?”

Another nod. A pause, then:

“Fine. But if she comes knocking I’m not putting up a fight or lying. She knows things.”

Angel would be hurt but that’s fair. He doesn’t know if he’d be willing to upset the tiny cyclops either.

More silence. Angel is still on the ceiling.

“…want me to show you some magic tricks?”

Well, sure, why not? Might as well do something fun before he dies?

Wait… is watching an old guy do and talk about his special interest fun for him?

…yes, yes it is.

Fuck, he’s whipped.

Niffty kills bugs AND she kills angels.

…I get why Angel Dust (yeah, I know spiders are arachnids but also doubt Niffty cares) was so concerned for his safety. After episode 8 he probably is on guard any time Niffty is in a room with any available weaponry.

[cf56]

I’d like to talk about one of the most common misconceptions in the Animaniacs fandom, something that’s been bugging me for awhile- Wakko’s Britishness.

Wakko is not British. Yes, he has a British accent, a Scouse accent more specifically, but he isn’t British. Nationality wise, he’s American, like his sibs. Culturally, he’s also 100% American.

When I say he has a British accent, I’m also using that term pretty lightly. His individual words are accented, sure, but if you look at his word choice and sentence structure it is also completely American. Save for very few exceptions, he never uses British slang or British terms. You will never hear him saying “torch” instead of “flashlight”, for example. Basically, if you look at his dialogue on paper instead of listening to him talk, you would never be able to guess that he speaks that way.

I’ve seen many fan artists and writers try to find a way to emphasize Wakko’s accent in text by adding in loads of British slang. I once saw someone say they had spent a lot of time researching Scouse slang just for the purpose of making Wakko’s speech more authentic. I myself did this to a certain extent in my early Animaniacs writing days, most noticeably in my story “Lost in the Crowd.” This is all misguided and actually has the effect of making the dialogue sound less like Wakko. If you watch the show a lot and get a feel for how Wakko talks, you will eventually realize that, hey, in text this wouldn’t seem very British at all. It’s one of the benefits and curses of writing fanfiction. Most of the characters and settings you write about are already known by the readers. This makes it harder to do the vital job of vividly describing the scene to your readers, because they don’t need that description if they already know what everything looks like. For canon characters like Wakko, you just kind of have to trust that the reader knows how Wakko speaks and will read the dialogue in his voice. It’s the same reason I don’t do the “vat and vhy” thing when writing Scratchansniff dialogue. At most, I will add one line like “Scratchansniff said in his Austrian-accented voice”, and the same for Wakko. I personally think anything more than that is distracting, though that’s just my personal opinion when writing Animaniacs and certainly not something I expect anyone else to adhere to. (And I do realize that the old comics used to write Scratchansniff’s dialogue that way, which is probably part of the reason it’s so prominent in fanfiction.) The way I write for all characters is just to imagine them saying something in their voice and writing down what I hear, quirks and all. I think that this produces the most accurate results, but you have to be pretty familiar with the source material to do this.

I bet deaf Animaniacs fans have gotten quite confused before when people write Wakko in that extra-British way or even just call him British, because if you only watch the show with subtitles you’d never know he talks like that. But, anyway, that’s my little rant-like thing. I’m not actually mad at anyone over this, not at all, it’s just a tiny little pet peeve of mine. I have the utmost respect for anyone who puts out any kind of fan content and dares to share their creativity to the world. And this isn’t some weird nationalistic thing, either, where I’m trying to stop the evil Brits from claiming Wakko for themselves. It’s just something I’ve noticed over the years and wanted to talk about.

[sariahsue]

Jealousy

"If it weren't for that other guy, do you think you would have fallen for me?" "Please, chaton," Marinette said. "Don't do this to yourself." "I just want to know." Softly she said, "It would have been so easy."

***

Marinette leaned into Chat Noir's side as she stared at their abandoned Uno cards (she had won three rounds in a row). They were on the floor in her room, surrounded pink fabric and dim twilight.

"Hey, Bug?"

"Hm?" It was strange, how easily she'd gotten used to him knowing her identity. It had been an accident, but she wouldn't change anything now.

"Can I ask you something?" His voice rumbled through her.

"Aren't you asking something now?" She'd expected a laugh or at least a resigned sigh, but he said nothing. Marinette pushed a wild card with her toe. "Sure."

"If it weren't for that other guy, do you think you would have fallen for me?"

Every point of contact her body had with his seemed suddenly electrified, her head on his shoulder, her arm against his, where her knee brushed his leg, and she shifted away to give herself some breathing space.

Her walls were bare. He'd asked permission to visit her at home, and she'd taken down almost every picture of Adrien. Evidence of her crush on someone else was not something she wanted to push on him every time he came over. He didn't deserve that.

"Um... do you want to play another round of Uno, or should we do something else?"

"Marinette, I'm serious. Would you have?"

Chat Noir wasn't often serious. If he wanted to go down this path, the best she probably could do was make his pain quick.

She shrugged in response. "Maybe, I guess. Video games? I have UMS 4."

"Really, that's it? You guess? That's not a real answer."

"Please, chaton. Don't do this to yourself."

He slid closer, closing the tiny gap between them that she'd opened up. "I just want to know."

Twilight was slipping into full dark as they sat. The streetlamp outside her window blinked on. He wasn't going to back down on this, was he? Fine. As quickly as she could, then.

"You're kind and compassionate. You're reliable. You're funny." Again, she waited for some reaction, a laugh, a self-satisfied "I knew it!" but he only waited for her to finish. "We have such a strong connection, and I trust you with my life. You're brave. You're my best friend." Softly she added, "It would have been so easy. That's the real answer."

The room was quiet enough that she heard how fast his breathing was. They were so close together that she swore she could feel his pounding heart. Or maybe that was hers. Sitting side-by-side made her feel like a coward. It was too easy to avoid his eyes.

How badly had she hurt him?

"So why haven't you talked to him yet?" Chat Noir asked.

"What?"

"If you'd pick him over all that, then you must like him a lot, but you aren't together. And I can't imagine anyone rejecting you, so you must not have asked him out yet."

Maybe she should have added perceptive to the list, but to be fair he'd never been so devastatingly accurate before.

At least this was something they could laugh at together. "I'm... very awkward around him. I'm pretty sure I make him uncomfortable sometimes."

"I doubt it," he said. "So who is he?"

Marinette got up. She suddenly needed some movement. Time to think. More space. "We shouldn't be talking about this."

"Why not?"

"Because I hate this!" Marinette turned to face him for this first time that night. "I hate hurting you every time you bring it up."

He leaned back like he was unconcerned, but he didn't return her gaze. "I'm only curious," he said. "I just want to know what type of person attracts Ladybug. That's all."

"I'll tell you under two conditions."

He stopped studying her mannequin to peek at her from the corner of his eye.

"One, you stop asking about it. Two, you don't laugh at me."

He finally turned to her completely. "Laugh? Why would I laugh?"

Part of her wished that he would. His laugh would be a welcome sound right now.

"Because you're going to think it's a celebrity crush, and it's not."

He raised an eyebrow and gestured for her to continue.

Marinette groaned. Nothing to do about it now except get it over with. "Adrien Agreste."

Chat Noir was on his feet so fast Marinette almost didn't see him move. "Plagg, claws-"

She didn't hear the rest of his sentence over her shrieking "NO!" but did she see the flash of green light behind her eyelids. "What are you doing? Put your suit back on!"

"No."

"I'm not going to look at you."

Where were the kwamis? Why weren't they telling him this was a bad idea?

"You have to retransform." Marinette backed up until she hit her desk. What on earth was he doing?

"No, not until you look."

"You'll have to," she said. "You can't walk out my front door and let people see you. You'll have to leave the way you came in."

"You're just going to keep your eyes closed for the rest of the night?"

She nodded.

Soft footsteps walked toward her. It wasn't the normal tap of boots that she was used to. It sounded wrong. Another reminder that one mistake from her would put his identity in jeopardy. He stopped right in front of her, circled his arms around her loosely and waited. It wasn't until she let herself sink against his chest that he tightened his grip.

"I'm not opening my eyes," she said.

"Then please just listen to my voice," the boy who was Chat Noir said. "I won't tell you my name, but please just listen?"

She nodded, her face buried in his neck. Even if she did open her eyes, she wouldn't be able to see him.

"When I'm not transformed, I'm much quieter."

"A quiet Chat Noir?" Marinette asked. "What must that be like?"

"I don't show off either. I try to avoid attention, actually. I get too much of it."

As he spoke, his voice started to change, matching the quieter, more gentle picture of himself that he painted for her. It sounded like... like...

"Did you know that we know each other outside the masks? We go to the same school."

With each sentence, Marinette began to realize that his voice was achingly familiar. He still sounded like her partner, on days that they were just talking or when they'd share sad stories. But he also sounded like someone else, someone whose voice she'd thought she knew by heart.

He stopped talking, letting her figure out the truth in silence.

She couldn't open her eyes. She couldn't. But her fingers could wander. They found his ungloved hand first, then moved up to his wrists. His forearms were bare, and as she expected, his sleeve had been rolled up above his elbow. Her fingers skimmed his upper arm and across his shoulder to his neck. She found the buttons of an open overshirt with a soft cotton tee underneath. If she wanted to, she could have reached up to touch his hair or trace her fingers over his nose and cheeks and eyelids, everything his mask usually hid. He would have let her.

Instead she leaned into his neck and felt his head drop on top of hers. Marinette finally opened her eyes. The overshirt was white. The tee underneath was black with colored stripes. Exactly how she remembered.

"You're kind and compassionate," he said. "You're brave and creative and amazing."

A tear slipped across her cheek. She was crying. When had that started?

"It was so easy to fall in love with you, Marinette."

Her hands left his shoulders to wrap around him and pull him closer to her. "I love you too, Adrien."

***

A/N: Written for Marichat May 2021. Prompt: Jealousy. @marichatmay

[patchworkpuzzle]

MINORS DNI 18+

word count: 3k

warnings: cheating? (it’s a consensual roleplay so idk), oral (f!recieving), overstimulation, breeding, creampie

author’s note: Wow first time writing/posting smut….. y’all can thank @doinmybesthere  for this. Like she wrote that rp headanon thing and I just couldn’t get this out of my head (even if I was the one that suggested it to being with) Anyway…. hope you enjoy!

“H-hi…!”

That was the first thing out of your mouth when you opened the door to the repairman. You knew he was coming, the invoice on your answering machine said ‘11am sharp’, but you couldn’t help being caught off guard. You just weren’t expecting him to be so young…. Or handsome.

“Sorry! Come in!” you shake your head as you open the door further, taking a step to the side to get out of his path.

He gave you a chuckle, smiling kindly as he walked through the threshold of your home “Did I catch you at a bad time?”

“No, no, no!” You quickly reassure, closing the door behind him while waving a hand in reassurance “I knew you were coming, just… just guess it slipped my mind for a moment!”

“Hey, it happens. Things slip my mind all the time!” He laughed for a moment, amused by your almost frantic nature in reassuring him before squaring his shoulders “So, where’s the problem?”

You shyly met his gaze before, pointing the direction of your kitchen, taking small steps in that direction “Um, the problem is this way.”

You led him to your kitchen, trying your best to ignore his large frame behind yours. You couldn’t understand why you were so nervous around him. You never felt like this when it was your gardener, or the grocery delivery person, or any of the other repairmen that showed up to help you out.  Maybe it was because he wasn’t a middle-aged man. Maybe it was because he had the nicest smile you have ever seen, and wonderfully dark eyes that matched dark hair that was pulled back into a small ponytail, or that the t-shirt he wore showcased his strong arms really, really, well.

You shook your head to shake you out of your thoughts, now was not the time to gawk at the help. Now was the time to tell him what needed to be fixed before escaping to the other room to start folding the neglected laundry.

“Uh, it’s the sink, I guess” You spoke once again when you got into the kitchen, pointing at the sink “It started with the dishwasher. It was working funny and then the sink followed suit. My husband tried to fix it, but I think he made it worse…”

“Not much of a handy man around the house, huh?” He chuckled as he bent down to open the cabinet that held all the pipes to the sink.

“Uh, no.” You gave a breathless giggle as you moved out of the way “He’s helpful in other areas, just not this one.”

“Ah, I get it, not worries! That’s what I’m here for.”

“Yeah, exactly…” You fiddle with your hands as you stare at his profile for another moment “I’ll leave you to it. I’ll just be in the other room if you need anything….?”

“Sero, you can call me Sero” The man, now known as Sero, smiles up at you “And sounds good to me!”

You simply nodded, dumbly, as you quickly turned yourself away from him and exiting the room to make sure he couldn’t see the blush that was now painted on your cheeks. Though mentally you were kicking yourself over how dumb you were acting. Why was he making you so nervous? Why were you acting like such a fool? He was just here to fix your sink, to clean out your pipes, nothing else!

You groaned at the way your brain phrased that sentence in your head, placing your head in your hands. This was going to be a long day.

~

“You don’t have a lot of people to talk to, huh?” Sero asked from where he was positioned under the sink.

You knew he was bound to say it. After you finished folding your laundry, you asked if everything was okay. When he told you it was, you went to tidy your bedroom. Once your bed was made, and everything was put away, you came down to check up on his once again. After another affirmative you just went to check the mail to then immediately come back into the kitchen to bug him once more. You were surprised he wasn’t annoyed with you.

“Guess not…” You chuckle, playing with your fingers as you lean forward on your kitchen island “Normally I do! Just…. Everyone is busy lately. Sorry for bothering you so much…”

“Don’t apologize! I don’t mind!” He quickly reassured as he stood from the ground, turning to test to see if the sink was finally working “I like the interaction too. Makes me feel like a person and not a tool, ya know?”

“Oh! That’s awful! People really treat you like that?”

“Yeah, but hey!” He turned back to you, wiping his hand on a dish towel he had around his toolbelt “Just means I appreciate people like you even more.”

The wink he sent you way caused an almost girlish giggle to escape your mouth as you turned your head away from him. After a moment, the silence that hung in the air somewhat heavy, you pushed off the counter “Are…. Are you hungry? I can make you something?”

You rushed towards your fridge, opening it to inspect the things within it to see what you could possibly prepare for him. Head racing with those thoughts you didn’t notice him moving closer to you, or that he was behind you, until you felt one hand on your hip and the fridge door closing in front of you.

“I could think of something I want to eat.” He breathed hot on your neck as he pulled you closer, making sure that you could feel the prominent bulge on your backside “If you catch my drift.”

You gulp trying to move away but only succeeding in wiggling your hips further into him, he hissed and gripped your hips more tightly to stop you from moving. Both of your breathing starting to grow hot and heavy, mingling together as you turn your head shyly towards him.

“W-we shouldn’t be doing this” You shake your head, trying once again to move away from him “My husband wil be home any moment…”

“Will he?” Sero chuckled, turning you around to face him, pushing your body back until the small of it hits your countertop “I don’t think he will. If he was, then you would have already had lunch ready.”

He tilts your chin up, leaning down until his lips hover over yours. His hot breath caused your tongue to poke up to run across your lips as a flush began to bloom on your cheeks “And you seem like a dutiful housewife, you wouldn’t keep him waiting.”

“S-Sero…” You breathe out, closing your eyes as you felt his forehead connect with yours.

“Tell me to stop, that you don’t want it.” His breath was tickling your cheeks as he spoke “Tell me and I’ll leave right now, and we’ll never speak of it again.”

“I… I don’t want you to stop..”

Your lips were captured in a hungry kiss as soon as you spoke those words. The kiss so engulfing that it captures all your thoughts, how soft they were and how they work against your own that when you granted his tongue access you didn’t realize that he had picked you up and placed you on the countertop.

He forced your legs to wrap around his waist as he grinded your hips together, the action causing a small moan to leave your mouth as you parted from the kiss. More mewls kept tumbling, out of your control, as he trailed kisses down your throat. Sero delighted in the way your hips would involuntarily buck into his when he would nip at the delicate skin, causing him to leave harsher nips the further he went down.

“So sensitive,” He murmured once he got to your collarbone, taking the time to lick a stripe up your neck and chuckling in your ear as you whimpered “Does your husband not take care of you, baby?”

“Y-yes…!” You give a tiny yelp when he bites onto your ear lobe.

“Clearly he’s not doing a good enough job,” Sero brings a hand down to rub you through your pants, cocking a brow at how you ground yourself onto his palm “Is he?”

You whine, shaking your head ‘no’ at his statement. He wasn’t wrong. Your husband has been less than affectionate with you lately, and when he has it was always lackluster. And after months of a non-excitant, or if it was non-pleasurable, sex life you were quite needy. Even your vibrator hasn’t been able to be enough for you anymore. But now? The way he was touching you was burning a fire deep within you, and you wanted nothing more than for him to continue to let you burn brighter.

“Do you need me to help with that, little Lady?”

“Yes!” You cry out, tugging at his shirt to try and pull him closer as you continue to buck wildly into his palm, like a horny teenager, once again. “Please Sero!”

He groaned when you called out his name, resting his forehead against your shoulder to regain some semblance of control. After a breath he pulled away from you slightly to remove his shirt, giving a cocky smirk as you took a moment to admire him, as he reached down to pull your shirt over your head.

“Like what you see?” He teased, smiling only widening when you gave a small shy nod as a response, reaching behind you to unclasp your bra before tossing it aside “Aww, why don’t you say it, baby?”

You shyly brought your arms up to try and cover your chest, turning your head away embarrassed. It had been a long time since someone had looked at you the way Sero was; so hungry, like you were about to be eaten alive. It was causing you to become nervous.

“I know I like what I see.” Sero brought his hands to gently cup your chest, causing your arms to fall away as he leaned down to press gentle kisses along the swell of your breast “I like what I see a lot.”

You mewl when he starts his assault on your chest. The way he was nipping, sucking, and biting all over your breasts, never staying on one for too long, was causing you to pant. He was aggressive, but not enough to break the skin or leave a mark; which you were grateful for. His hands continued to grope as his lips grasped onto one of your nipples, assaulting it with continuous flicks of his tongue.

You let out a quiet moan as you arch your back into his touch, a hand coming up to tug at his hair gently while the other started to wander the expanse of his now exposed chest. Relishing and marvelling at all the lean muscle under your fingertips, slowly dipping lower and lower…

“Ah, ah, ah” Sero chides, removing your hand from tugging at his toolbelt to undo it “it’s all about you right now, baby.”

“But I wanna make you – ah!” you cry out, taken by surprise as his own hand slipped between your pants and panties to run through you folds.

“You’re already so wet,” Sero slides one of his long fingers into you, groaning at how tight you are “You really are pent up, aren’t you? I barely touched you”

You don’t have the care to answer him, or to be embarrassed by the slight squelching sound that could now be heard as he slowly pumps his finger in and out of you. You keen when a second finger joins the first and his pace starts to pick up, his thumb coming up to rub at your bundle of nerves. Shamelessly spreading your legs wider as you buck your hips into his hand, desperately trying to chase your release that is so close to washing over you, the ache in your core almost unbearable.

Your release finds you with a choked out gasp as you clamp your thighs tightly around Sero’s hand as your body spasms with the intense aftershocks, which are only amplified as he continues to finger you through your orgasm; only stopping when you have officially calmed down. Well, calmed down enough.

“Oh, please, please, please fuck me Sero” You beg, letting out a whine when his fingers leave your drooling hole.

“You want more, hm?” He asks, bringing his hand up to your mouth, to which you open for him to let his fingers into your wet craven. His moan spurring you on to suck his digits with more fervor “Then get down.”

His command sends a pleasurable shiver down your spine as you carefully slide off the counter. Once you were on steady feet he turned you around and forcefully, but still with a gentle touch, bent you forward, allowing you to adjust on shaky arms before quickly pulling the rest of your clothes off. The swift smack that echoed throughout the kitchen, and the slight burning ache on your ass, caused your legs to shake.

“Step out.” His voice was deep with desire, and you couldn’t help but immediately follow his instruction.

A surprised, and strangled, gasp left your lips as you felt his tongue take a swift lick up your folds. Only for it to be followed by another, one more fervent, as he gripped your hips tightly to pull you back onto his face as he continued to swipe at your folds greedily.

“More, Sero, please” You whimper, your voice needy as you try to move closer to him. “I want more!”

“Want me to fuck this pretty pussy bad, huh?” He hummed, spreading your folds to get a better look “I will, don’t you worry. Just wanted a taste.”

He’s big, you don’t really know for certain as you haven’t had the chance to see it. But from how he felt grinding on you, and the way the tip of his cock runs through your slippery folds, you can tell that it will be quite the stretch.

You whine as he slowly starts to enter you, the stretch is an intense but a pleasant burn as he slowly sinks into you inch by inch. You both groan in unison when he finally bottoms out. You close your eyes as you try to adjust, you’ve never felt so full, and you know Sero knows this as well.

“Good, you’re so fucking tight!” He groans, slowly pumping in and out of you, bringing a hand around to rub your clit “Relax for me, baby. I’ll take real good care of you, trust and believe.”

Once you started to relax was when his pace quickened, your moans getting louder in tandem to the speed his hips were going. It didn’t take long before his thrusts were hard and fast, hips snapping into you with such force that you were unable to stay upright on your arms. The chaffing of his jeans and toolbelt were just adding to the rough pleasure you were losing your mind to.

Your walls started to clench and flutter around him much sooner than you were expecting, his relentless fingers that were rubbing your clit making it impossible to hold out any longer. Another orgasm runs through you, your wail of ecstasy lost as your ears deafen to any noise as blood flushes through your body.

His pace and how his cock kept hitting that special spot inside you meant that you weren’t sure if you were about to start cumming again or if you hadn’t finished cumming in the first place. Not that you cared or could really think. The delirium he kept you in was so wonderful that you couldn’t find in yourself to try and fight it. The slick that was constantly spilling out of you and onto your thighs proof that this was the best fuck you had in a long, long time

You don’t know how long it’s been, or how many times he made a mess of you, you’re now too dumb to really think due to how overstimulated you are, all you can do is moan and mewl for him and ‘just take it’. To enjoy the drag of his cock going in and out of you, the way the vein on the underside of his cock catches so wonderfully against your walls.

“You’re doing such a good job, baby. So, so good” Sero mumbles, placing kisses along you back and cracking a head over you ass once again “You’re gonna keep taking it baby, keep taking it so good for me till I cum, okay?”

You whimper, turning your head to face him, the cool countertop a wonderful contrast to your flushed cheeks “Cum for me, please! I want it so bad!”

“Fuck! Yeah, you want it. Want me to cum all over you, don’t you? Want me to cum all over this pretty pussy, making you forget about your worthless husband, yeah?”

You merely nod your head, your voice all but gone as his pace somehow gets even faster making it impossible for you to let out any noise but screams of pleasure, your mouth in a permanent ‘O’ position as you try to hold on until he cums.

He does with a loud groan, hips pressing snuggly against your ass, as he paints your insides white with ropes and ropes of his cum. Slowly pulling out with a hiss, spreading your swollen and sore lips apart to watch it drip out of you and down your thighs.

“Are you okay, love?” Sero asks after a beat, slowly regaining his breath.

You tiredly laugh and nod your head “Yeah, I’m okay.” you slowly start to pull yourself upright, trying to properly stand on your wobbly legs “You know you broke character. You’re not suppose to cum inside some random housewife.”

“Yeah, well.” He shrugs his shoulder, collecting you in his arms “Got too lost in the moment… Now come on, let’s get you cleaned up!”

Before you had the chance to tease your boyfriend even further he threw you over his shoulder and started bounding his way to your shared bathroom to draw you a bath, just like he said he would.

[waitimcomingtoo]

Plank All Over Me - Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts Edition

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Masterlist

Plank All Over Me Masterlist

“Welcome back to Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts.” James Cordan said to the camera. “I’m here with Tom and Y/n Holland.”

“Oh my God.” Tom looked at you with wide eyes as you both thought the same thing.

“He introduced us.” You realized. “We can’t do our bit.”

“You’re my wife now, darling. You get to do anything you want.” Tom stated at he looked at James. “James, we’re actually Dave and James Franco.”

“Who’s who?” James humored you, well aware of the way you and Tom acted in interviews.

“I’m clearly the James.” You mumbled as you smoothed your dress.

“Dave is more attractive.” Tom shrugged sassily and you made a face at him.

“Can we start the game?” James playfully interrupted and you and Tom sat up straight.

“Yes, sorry.” You nodded as James began to explain the rules of the game. You’d seen the bit enough times to know how to play, so you tuned James out a little. You didn’t mean to, you just had a lot on your mind lately. There was something you needed to tell Tom and you hadn’t found the right way to do it yet.

“The first question is for Y/n and since I love her so much I’m going to give her the hot sauce.” James smiled wickedly as he got the hot sauce in front of you.

“Mmm.” You said sarcastically and grimaced at the camera.

“Who got the drunkest at your wedding?” James read off the card before looking at you. You pursed your lips as you thought about the answer before chuckling.

“Probably Tom.” You laughed as you pointed at your husband who was sat across the table from you. His face lit up with laughter as he folded his arms.

“Yeah, I was gonna say. Ryan Reynolds and I had a drinking competition that I definitely won.” He said smugly, making the audience cheer.

“I never imagined I’d be standing by Blake Lively’s side on my wedding day, screaming “CHUG” at my husband, but I’m glad it happened. You made me proud.” You said to Tom with a fond pout on your face.

“Aw.” Tom held his hand over his heart as you stared at each other lovingly.

“Gross.” James deadpanned, making the two of you laugh.

“Next question is for Tom and I am going to give you the cockroaches.” You said as you spun the table. “Love you, honey.”

“It’s looking at me.” Tom gagged as he picked up a cockroach and quickly dropped it back in the little glass bowl.

“How dare that slutty, dead cockroach stare at you.” You joked. “Tell it you’re married.”

“I swear, you two are the strangest couple I had ever sat with.” James shook his head as he laughed.

“We get that a lot.” You and Tom said in unison.

“Okay, Tom, who is the most unprofessional Avenger on set?” You read off your card before setting it back on the table.

“Ooo. That’s a tough one since they’re all so badly behaved.” Tom clicked his tongue and the audience laughed gleefully.

“No, I’m joking.” He smiled at the reaction. “I’m gonna go with Evans because he’s pretty much a ten year old. Like, he carries around one of those tiny skateboards - what are they called?”

“Tech Decks.” You told him.

“Yeah. He carried around a Tech Deck and runs it over everyone’s arms when we’re blocking scenes.” Tom explained as he did the motion of the mini skateboard on the table.

“I have also seen him covered in Cheeto dust countless times.” You added. “He will straight up come to set with orange fingers. He is the opposite of Captain America.”

“I hate that. We call them Wotsitz in England and it makes me cringe.” Tom shuddered as he moved the table. “James, I’m gonna give you the bird saliva.”

“It looks warm.” James commented as he picked it up to examine it. “That’s so unsettling.”

“Ick.” Tom grimaced and picked up a card. “James, which guest would you not invite back to the show?”

The audience reacted accordingly and you raised your eyebrows at the host.

“I can’t answer that.” James held his hand over his mouth as he stared at the bird saliva in front of him.

“Then why do you get asked that in every installment of Spill Your Guts Or Fill Your Guts?” You asked bluntly, making the audience laugh.

“That’s an excellent question and I’m going to think about it while I drink this bird saliva.” James looked you right in the eyes as he took a sip from the small glass. You cringed when he swallowed it and immediately went to take a sip of water.

“Ew. Is it thick?” You wondered as he coughed into his elbow.

“You don’t want to know.” James said hoarsely, shaking his head.

“Do I go now?” Tom asked, already forgetting the order of turns.

“Yes, you pick for Y/n.” James told him as he wiped his mouth.

“Okay.” Tom smiled deviantly and spun the table. “I’m gonna give you the turkey testicles because I know how much you love-“

“Tom.” You cut him off with a stern look.

“Turkey burgers.” He finished his sentence. “She loves turkey burgers.”

You squinted your eyes at him as he laughed devilishly.

“I’m about to walk out.” You threatened him once your fate was put in front of you.

“It’s not a true interview with us unless one of us threatens to leave.” Tom noted as he picked up his card. “Who do you think is the smallest Avenger?”

“Oh, definitely Mackie.” You answered confidently, relieved you didn’t have to eat the “food” in front of you.

“But he’s taller than me.” Tom tilted his head in confusion and your eyes widened.

“Oh you meant height?” You asked, fully misunderstanding the original question. The audience erupted into laughter and you felt your cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

“WHAT?” James asked as he wiped tears from his eyes.

“I thought you were asking about something else.” You said sheepishly as you shrunk in your seat.

“This is CBS.” He reminded you and you have an apologetic grin.

“Next question.” You requested, wanted to move on from your lapse in judgment.

“This ones for Tom and I’m giving you the salmon smoothie.” James decided. “Tom, how much did you get paid for Spiderman: Far From Home?”

“Enough to put a 20 karat ring on Y/n’s finger.” Tom response was immediate and you lit up in delight. You held your hand up to your ear so the camera could see it.

“With matching earrings.” You said coyly before letting out a laugh, all while Tom watched you with a childlike grin.

“My turn. I’m gonna give you the tarantula. James.” You decided and picked up a card. “Who was your least favorite guest on Carpool Karaoke?”

You held the card to your chest as you looked at him expectantly, knowing he’d never answer it.

“I can’t answer that.” He shook his head. “I have an answer but I can’t say it.”

“When you met Lin Manuel Miranda, did he bite his lip?” The words left your mouth before you could stop them. Tom burst out laughing at you, knowing exactly what you were talking about.

“Oh my God. She’s obsessed with that one picture of the guy.” Tom explained.

“It’s so funny. EUHYYYHY WE WERE MARRIED THAT NIGHT.” You imitated the countless singing videos of Lin Manuel Miranda you’d seen on Tik Tok that left you in tears of laughter every night.

“I hear this everyday.” Tom told James as you laughed at yourself.

“I can’t. I can’t. Sorry Lin.” You giggled again before calming down.

“Lin was perfectly lovely and we would love to have him back.” James brought the conversation back to the question. “I have an answer but I just can’t say who it was.”

“Then you better put that spider in your mouth.” Tom nodded towards the spider.

“It’s easy. I do it all the time. Wink wink.” You gave the camera an over exaggerated wink.

“Oh My God. Every time.” Tom scolded you as you made yet another innuendo.

“It smells horrible.” James whined as he leaned down to sniff the tarantula.

“Well it’s a dead bug. Were you expecting Japanese Cherry Blossom?” You sassed him.

“Oh God. Here we go.” James plugged his nose and took a tiny bite of the spiders leg.

“How is it?” Tom wondered as he watched in disgust. “Is it crunchy?”

“It’s gooey.” James told him before wiping his face with his napkin.

“I could’ve told you that.” You shrugged, causing Tom to give you a stern look that told you to behave.

“Stop it.” He couldn’t contain his laughter. “Who’s turn is it?”

“It’s my turn to ask Y/n.” James said as he looked around the table for what hadn’t been used yet.

“Fire away.” You said casually despite the butterflies in your tummy over what he could possible ask you.

“Okay Y/n, I’m gonna give you the grasshoppers.” You bit your tongue between your teeth as James moved the table towards you.

“Delicious.” You grimaced as you poked around in the bowl of grasshoppers.

“Y/n, if you had to date one of Tom’s brothers to save his life, which would you pick?” James read off the card and the audience murmured with anticipation.

“How would I get into that situation?” You stalled your answer, knowing you’d have to pick between hurting Toms feelings or eating a bug.

“And how do I prevent her from getting into that situation?” Tom added, making you laugh. He was trying to keep his cool but you knew the question bothered him.

“You have to answer the question or get to eating. Come on now, before they hop away.” James joked, making the audience laugh. You stared into the bowl of grasshoppers and knew there was no way you could put it on your mouth without throwing up. You gulped and looked at your husband, giving him an apologetic pout before looking at James.

“I guess Sam.” You said weakly and quickly moved the grasshoppers away from you.

“Why Sam?” James asked, always trying to get the best response he could.

“That’s not the question.” You quipped as you taped the card with your fingernail.

“I want to know too.” Tom spoke up, making your stomach drop. You shrugged and folded your arms to look relaxed.

“He was the first one that came to mind and I don’t think you’d want me to sit here and go over the pro’s and con’s of dating all your brothers. Plus, he’s a great chef.” You answered, and to your surprise, Tom smiled.

“That’s true.” He nodded. “Good job, baby.”

“Thank you.” You blew him a playful kiss which he caught and then pretended to throw away to get a laugh. You shot him a look before returning your attention to the table.

“Stop it.” You warned. “Who’s turn is it?”

“It’s your turn, Mrs. Holland.” Tom said, always taking the opportunity to call you that.

“Okay. I’m gonna give you the bulls penis.” You said lovingly as you moved the table.

“You’re too kind, my love.” He teased as it landed in front of him.

“I know. It’s my gift since you always give me the-“

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” Tom cut you off. “I don’t even want to know how it ends.”

“Fine. I won’t.” You gave the audience a pointed look and they laughed at your antics. You picked up your card and read the question, immediately laughing at what it asked. You were about to read the question when an idea popped into your head. Tom noticed the way your expression changed and sensed something was up.

“Oh no. I’m scared already.” He smiled nervously as you looked at the card again. Finally, you looked Tom in the eye and gave him a soft smile.

“Are you excited to be a father?” You asked the question that had been weighing on your mind ever since you took a pregnancy test in an airport bathroom two days ago. You wanted to break the news in a memorable way, and constantly being on planes or in cars made that difficult.

This show, however, made it easy.

Toms face melted from a playful smile to wide eyes at your question. The audience quieted down as everyone waited for Tom’s response.

“What?” He asked slowly, studying your face closely to see if you were joking.

“That’s what it says.” You put it simply, makes Toms face shift into a smile. James took the card fork where you had set it down, knowing damn well his writers hadn’t put that as a question, and read it.

“This card says “how big is it?”” James read off the card as he looked at you, making you chuckle slightly.

“I took a creative liberty.” You shrugged. Tom and James looked at each other, both thinking the other was up to something.

“Are you pregnant?” Tom leaned closer to you from across the table to ask.

“You don’t get to ask a question until you’ve chosen what food I have to eat.” You reminded him as you gestured to the table.

“Not to make this about me, but It’s also not your turn.” James threw in a joke as he watched the drama unfold.

“Cow tongue.” Tom said quickly and shifted the table so the cow tongue was in front of you. He looked up at you with all the hope in the world as you gagged at the tongue. “There. Are you really pregnant?”

“Oof.” You blew out a breath. “That’s a toughy.”

“That’s a toughy?” Tom asked in exasperation. You could see his leg bouncing under the table from anticipation but you wanted to drag it out just a little longer.

“Yeah. I mean, I really want to tell you, but this cow tongue also looks really good.” You teased him, making him let out a whine.

“She’s got a point, there.” James nodded, squeezing your hand under the table to congratulate you.

“No she doesn’t!” Tom exclaimed. “Baby? Are you actually pregnant?”

You knew Tom couldn’t take the suspense anymore and broke into a grin.

“Yes.” You told him. “I’m pregnant. We’re pregnant.”

“Really? We’re gonna have a baby?” Toms eyes welled with tears as he covered his mouth with both his hands. He’d been wanting to start a family for a while now but you hadn’t had any luck in conceiving.

Until now.

“Yeah, honey. We’re gonna have a baby.” You reached across the table and rubbed his hand with your thumb before pointing finger guns at the camera. “Keep watching to find out who the father is!”

The audience, who had been busy cheering at your news, switched to laughter.

“She’s kidding. It’s me.” Tom assured the audience.

“He’s kidding.” You insisted. “It’s Benedict!”

“Congratulations to the both of you.” James said sincerely. “I think that just about wraps this up this segment. My producer is going to be very happy with me for getting that information out of you without even asking.”

“You’re welcome.” You smiled at him as he leaned in to press a congratulatory kiss on your cheek. Tom finally broke out of his shocked state and got out of his chair, rushing to you and practically pulling you out of your seat to hug you. His hug was firm but gentle all at the same time, especially around your tummy. He pressed your face into his neck and you heard him sniffle, making you take his hand and put it on your tummy.

“We have about three minutes of commercial break. Excellent job guys.” James said as he got out of his seat. “That was definitely the best Spill Your Guts we’ve ever done. I might have to hire Y/n as a writer here.” He joked.

“Thanks for having us James. All three of us.” You said as you pulled away from Tom. Tom kept a protective hand on your tummy as you rubbed circles on his back.

“I can’t believe you’re pregnant. I’m so happy for you both. That’s beautiful.” James shook Toms hand to congratulate him as well.

“Well when you plank all over someone and don’t use a-

“That’s enough.” Tom cut you off but kept his smile on. “That’s enough for today.”

You leaned into him and took his hand, kissing the back of it as you all walked back towards the main stage.

“Can you believe we met planking on each other for a video and now we’re having a baby?” You asked him.

“I know.” He shook his head in pleasant shock. “We should name our baby BBC, since we met at BBC radio 1.

“You suggesting that tells me you don’t know the other meaning of BBC.” You laughed as you took a seat on James’s couch.

“What’s the other meaning?” Tom looked at you in confusion. You laughed gleefully and patted Toms cheek, always delighted by his innocence.

“Oh, Tom.” You sighed. “I’ll let you google that one.”

Tag List 🏷

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[drabbles-mc]

Nightfall

Angel Reyes x F!Reader

Inspired by Day 19 of the July Prompts: fireflies

Warnings: alcohol, language, light angst

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I really had no plan going into this fic and it completely took on a mind of its own. Truth be told I’m not totally sure what this is haha. Something in me is telling me I need to continue this storyline but I have no idea what I would do with it lol. I got a little into some feelings while writing this but I hope you guys enjoy it! xo

Angel Reyes Taglist: @helli4nthus​ @angelreyesgirl​ @starrynite7114​ @queenbeered​ @sincerelyasomebody​ @sadeyesgf​ @thesandbeneathmytoes​ @appropriate-writers-name​ @tomhardydallasstarsgirl​ @sillygoose6969​ @beardburnsupersoldiers​ @louisianalady​ @gemini0410​ @paintballkid711​ @chibsytelford​ @yourwonkywriter​ @sesamepancakes​ @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead​ @plentyoffandoms​ @georgiaaintnopeach​ @twistnet​ @garbinge​ @bucky-iss-bae​ @enjoy-the-destruction​ @withmyteeth​ @encounterthepast​ @lilacyennefer​ @rosieposie0624​ @mylittlelonelyappreciationtoo​ @mijop​ @xladymacbethx​ @blessedboo​ @holl2712​ @lakamaa12​ @masterlistforimagines​ @luckyharley1903​ @kkim120​ @toni9​ @shadow-of-wonder​ @black-repunzel99​ @crowfootwrites​ @redpoodlern​ @lexondeck​ @mrsstevenbuchananstark​ @berniesilvas​ @lovebishoplosamiguelgalindo​ @amorestevens​

The air was warm still despite the fact that the sun had set a little while before. It was just you and Angel sitting on the back steps at his house. There wasn’t a whole lot to see back there, but it was nice to not be looking directly into the next row of houses. You were mirroring each other’s position—leaning forward with your forearms resting on your knees, beer bottle loosely held in your hands. Neither of you had said anything for a little bit, content to just listen to the sound of the wind blowing and the scattered noises of whatever critters were brave enough to come out at night in Angel’s edge-of-civilization neighborhood.

“I don’t think I’ve ever been somewhere so quiet,” you finally broke the silence.

He chuckled, “Oh yea?”

You nodded, taking a sip of your beer before continuing, “Moved from one apartment complex to the next with my family growing up. Traded in one city for another over and over again. It was never quiet—there was always some kind of chaos happening.”

“There’s still chaos,” he smiled and playfully bumped your shoulder with his.

You laughed, “I guess. Just, you know, different kind of chaos. It’s nice to not have chaos at home.”

Your tone was light enough but he could see the faraway look in your eyes and he knew that you were thinking about all the different homes and lives you lived growing up before you somehow landed in Santo Padre. Truthfully, he had always wondered how it came to be, but he never had the courage to ask.

“Hey,” he started, a tentative hesitation in his voice, “I was, uh, thinkin’ tha—”

His sentence was cut short by the sound of your gasp, followed by you eagerly setting your beer bottle off to the side and jumping up off the steps. His brows furrowed in confusion as he stood and followed you down off the steps, his long legs easily and quickly closing the distance that you’d put between the two of you. The dew on the short, unkept lawn slicked the bottoms of your bare feet but you didn’t care. Angel saw the smile on your face as you headed towards the tree-line and stood back to watch what you did.

“This is gonna sound stupid,” you were speaking to him despite the fact that you weren’t turning around to face him, “but I’ve never actually seen these in real life.”

“Seen what?”

“Fireflies,” you got closer to the edge of his tiny little yard as you tried to guess where the little creature was going to blink next.

“Really?” he sounded genuinely shocked.

“Something tells me that they hate the city chaos as much as I do,” you chuckled as you reached, trying to cup one in your hands and failing.

“EZ and I used to catch these little fuckers all the time when we were kids,” he found his place next to you.

“Yea?”

He nodded, “Yea. For the longest time I wanted him to smush one and use it as face paint on me but he never did.”

You laughed and shoved him lightly, “That’s awful!” you paused, “Why didn’t you just do it?”

“’Cause that’s fuckin’ gross. I don’t want dead bug all over my hands,” he chuckled.

“Just all over your face?” you raised an eyebrow, shaking your head before returning to the task at hand, “How’d you do it?”

“What?”

“Catch them.”

You could see the focus take over his features as he looked around, trying to find one, “Gotta try and see their fat little bodies when they aren’t lit up,” he brought his hands up, expertly cupping them around something that you couldn’t quite see, “Because if you try to catch them when they blink they’re already gonna be gone.”

He nodded for you to come closer as he lowered his delicately cupped hands. A smile spread across his face when he saw the excitement in your eyes. He partially opened his hands at the top so you could peek in, your eyes lighting up as you watched the tiny creature blink inside the enclosed space of his large hands.

“Wanna hold it?”

You shook your head, “I wanna catch my own.”

He smiled, nodding his head, “Alright,” he opened up his hands and it took off into the night, blinking every so often as it got farther and farther away.

Angel was content to stand back and watch you walk back and forth along the perimeter of the little plot of land that passed for his backyard. He crossed his arms over his chest, a hint of a smile tugging at his lips as you tried again and again to catch one of the little bugs. Each time you came so close, but not quite close enough to succeed. He noticed that you weren’t getting frustrated, though. And, honestly, he had the feeling that you had completely tuned out the rest of the world. He could’ve been trying to talk to you the entire time and you wouldn’t have heard a single thing.

He heard the snapping of a twig underneath your foot and realized that you were halfway into the trees on your expedition. The thought of you running barefoot through the little spit of woods was entertaining, but the last thing he wanted to happen was you splitting your foot open on something. He walked over and slid his hand into yours, giving you a slight tug and bringing you back to reality.

You allowed him to back you up a little bit before picking a new target to focus on, one that hopefully wouldn’t evade you like the last few had. Your eyes had adjusted better to the darkness, and you figured this was going to be your best shot at it.

You slowly crept up on one, like the sound of you was what was going to scare it away. Angel was biting back a chuckle as he watched you crouch slightly, feet moving slowly and deliberately across his lawn. You spread your arms wide, hands cupped in the optimal bug-catching position. Your face was contorted in focus as you slowly but surely brought your hands closer together.

Connecting your hands, you gasped as you spun back around to Angel, a giant smile on your face as you ran over to him, nearly slipping and falling in the process. He chuckled as you skidded to a stop in front of him, practically bouncing on the balls of your feet.

“I think I got it!”

“Take a look, querida,” his tone was softer than you expected it to be given your excitement in the situation.

You opened your hands just the slightest bit, and were greeted with the yellow glint of the firefly in your hands. You squealed, cupping your hands back together. You looked at Angel expectantly, “Do you have a jar I could put it in?”

He smiled, “I’ll see what I got,” he pressed a light kiss to the side of your head before walking back towards the house.

He reemerged a minute later with a mason jar and a paper plate. He held the jar out to you, “Put it in here, then I’ll flip it and set it on the plate.”

You nodded, trying very carefully to get the bug into the jar without it flying away. You quietly clapped your hands together when Angel flipped the jar over and set it on the surface of the little table on the deck. You immediately sat down, crossing your arms on the table and resting your chin on them. Angel sat down across from you, elbow propped and chin set in the palm of his hand as he watched you watch the firefly.

It flitted around the jar, not landing, but not bumping into the sides either. Angel saw the wonder in your eyes and while he found it endearing, he also felt a heaviness settling on his chest that he couldn’t quite explain. There was an innocence in your expression and your excitement that directly juxtaposed itself with all the things he knew that you were capable of, things that you probably had to go through to get to the point where you were at now.

“So what did you do?” he finally asked.

“Hm?” you raised your eyebrows but kept your gaze fixed on the bug in the jar.

“In the city. What’d you do for fun as a kid?”

Your eyes flicked over to him for a moment, trying to gauge his emotion, “Not a hell of a lot,” you answered honestly.

Your mind flashed back to tiny little one-bedroom apartments, loud neighbors, sirens blaring down the street. It was hot, but not the way it was in Santo Padre—back then the heat felt heavy, and filthy. You had nowhere to go, nothing to do but wait for something else to happen that made you all pack up and move to the next place that felt exactly like all the others.

Angel saw the tears gathering in your eyes and he knew that you didn’t notice them. He could see it in your eyes that you were somewhere else entirely as your eyes followed the bug inside the jar. He didn’t know what to say, if he was even supposed to say anything in a moment like that. He was about to reach out and rest his hand on your arm when you sat upright, shaking your head slightly as you blinked away the tears.

You could see it on his face that he was going to try having a conversation about it all, but you weren’t up for that just yet. You watched the firefly in the jar for a few more seconds before placing your hand on the bottom of the jar, curling your fingers around it. Taking a deep breath, you lifted it up and watched as the small bug found its way out and took off, leaving nothing but a trial of blips in its wake.

Something resembling a smile was tugging at the corners of your mouth as you set the jar back down. You drummed your fingers along the glass sides, lost in thought again. Angel watched as each emotion crossed your face, and he wished that he could get a glimpse of what was going on inside your head.

“It’s alright, you know,” he said, dragging you back to the present.

“What?”

“You can…you can be honest with me. If shit wasn’t good you can tell me that. You’re not gonna scare me off. I get that family can be…rough.”

You chuckled dryly, “Rough. Right.”

He could see your walls going back up and he knew that there was no getting to the bottom of it tonight. Reaching, he placed his hand on top of yours and gave it a light squeeze, “I’m glad you made it here.”

You could tell by the look in his eyes that he was being sincere. Taking your other hand, you placed it over his, “I’m glad too.”

“If you think that catching fireflies is fun,” Angel smiled as he shook his head, “One time EZ came home with a whole fuckin’ hare.”

“A what?”

“A hare. Ears were this big I fuckin’ swear,” he held his hands dramatically far apart to indicate the size the animal’s ears has been.

You laughed, shaking your head, “I don’t believe you.”

“Ask him next time you see him,” he got up and grabbed both of your beer bottles from the step and handing yours to you before drinking from his own, “Pops was pissed.”

“I can imagine,” you smiled.

As you listened to Angel tell you other stories of antics that he and his little brother got into, you felt the heaviness of your own memories beginning to subside for the time being. It was easy to get lost in the way that Angel’s eyes crinkled slightly when he laughed and smiled, the way that he spoke with his hands. You pressed the bottle to your lips as you listened, your eyes straying every now and then to the fireflies flitting around in the background, blinking in and out of existence.

[libraryofloveletters]

The Parent Trap

Eddie Diaz x Reader

Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of war, death and loss of parent/spouse

Category: Fluff 

Word Count: 2.8k

Author’s Note: Based on this request!

Part 2- The Mistletoe Proposal

--- 

Emily, your daughter, sat beside a little boy on the playground bench while the other kids ran around in the sun waiting for their parents. “Hey” you smiled at the kids on the bench, you sat beside your daughter, she gave you a half hug. “Mom, this is Christopher, he’s my friend. He’s in my class and he likes to paint just like me!” she gushed, looking over at the little boy who had a smile on his face. 

“Hi Christopher, I'm y/n. It’s nice to meet you” you leaned forward so he could see you. He gave you a big smile, the two children told you about their day at school, how they learned about amphibians and reptiles, their teacher showed them a video about frogs. 

“Christopher, are you waiting for someone sweetheart ?” 

“My dad�� he looked over at you

“Chris, buddy!” a man’s voice shouted, looking over your shoulder you saw a man running towards you guys. 

“Dad!” the little boy shouted back as he stood up, you helped him with his crutches as his father came over. “Hi bud” the man picked him up whilst he hugged him. The back of his t-shirt read “Los Angeles Fire Department” 

“Dad, this is Emily my friend” Emily stood up, “Hi Chris's dad” she gave him a toothy grin, she was missing a few teeth. The man chuckled as he put Christopher down, “Hi Emily, I'm Eddie” he stuck his hand out, she gave him a high five which made him smile at her. 

The interaction made your heart swell, he was good with kids. 

“You are?” he looked at you, “I'm y/n, Emily’s mom” you smiled at him, he gave you a nod. 

“Mommy?” Emily tugged on your hand, “yeah love bug?” 

“Can Chris come over for a playdate now?” 

“Oh baby,” you glance at Eddie, “I don’t know. Maybe Chris and his dad have somewhere to be” 

“We don’t,” Christopher answers for his father, “can I go dad? please?” the boy looks up at him. Eddie was a sucker for his son clearly, anyone that looked at them could see how much he loved him, he’d do anything to keep him happy. 

“Uh- okay yeah. That’s fine” Eddie gave in, just as you suspected. “Christopher come in!” your daughter walked up with Christopher, you watched them with a smile on your face, you and Eddie following behind them.

“Hey, sorry about them ambushing you like that. If you have somewhere to be, we can reschedule ?” you offered, you didn't want him to feel pressured just because the kids wanted to hang out. 

“Nah it’s cool, we were just going to go home and play video games or something” Eddie ran a hand through his hair, “I'm sure he rather the company than a lame afternoon at home with dad” his comment made you smile. “Em! Wait up!” you jogged to catch up to the kids, Eddie followed behind you. 

“Uh let me give you the address” you turned to Eddie, “oh that’s cool, I'll just follow behind you.” he said nonchalantly. 

“I didn't drive today” 

“Oh,” he paused for a moment, “how about you guys come with us and you can direct me? Maybe we can stop for pizza or something ?” he looks down at the kids, “how does that sound?” he asks them, a loud mess of “yes” and excited shouting filled your ears, Eddie led the 3 of you over to this truck. He lifted Christopher into the truck and proceeded to do the same with Emily. “Cool necklace!” she picked up the pendant on his neck, he smiled at her “Emily!” you gave her a look, Eddie shook his head. “It’s cool isn't it ? it’s my Saint Christoper’s pendant” 

“Like Christopher ?” she asked him, still fiddling with the pendant. 

“Yeah, just like Christopher” 

Eddie got in the truck, he drove to the pizza place down the road from the school. Eddie asked the kids what they wanted, they both wanted the same thing but kept changing their minds each time they decided. “How about I get both and you choose when we get home?” he offered the kids, they nodded. 

Home. The idea of a home with Eddie flicker through your mind monetarily, you shook the idea from your head. You had only just met this man, what's wrong with you. 

“Oh wait!” you were digging through your pocket, Eddie’s eyes practically burning a hole into you. 

Pulling some cash from your pocket, “here, for the food” Eddie refused to take it from you. 

“I got it, don’t worry about it” he said as he opened the door. 

“It’s a lot” you went to give him the cash again, he rested his hand on yours. “Next time, this time is on me” he smiled. Eddie left you and the kids in the car. You looked over at the backseat, Chris and Emily were whispering about something but a phone rang, interrupting their conversation. “It’s your dad’s phone kiddo” you looked at Chris and then at the phone, “it says it’s Buck, do you want to answer it ?” Chris nodded. He answered once you passed him the phone, he had it on speaker. 

“Eddie! are we on for tonight ?” the man shouted from the other end of the call. “Buck!” Chris laughed. “Christopher! Hey buddy, where’s your dad?” 

“Inside” 

“And where are you ?” 

“In the car” 

“By yourself?” you could hear the panic in his voice, you spoke up. 

“Hi, I'm y/n, I'm Emily’s mom uh- she’s friends with Christoper. They’re having a playdate. Eddie is inside getting pizza, he’ll be back in a few” you explain, the line goes silent for a moment. “Oh, okay. Can you tell Eddie to call me back ?” 

“Sure” you say, “bye Buck!” Christoper says which made the man chuckle, “bye buddy, have fun at your playdate” 

Christopher handed the phone back to you as Eddie came back to the truck. “There’s my phone, I thought I left it at the station” he said, getting in. “Oh no, your friend called, Christoper answered” 

“Who was it?” he looked back at his son 

“Buck” he smiled at his dad, Eddie smiled back at him, “He asked for you to call him back ?” 

“Thanks” was all he said as he started driving. You directed him to your house, which was the opposite direction of the pizza place. “The one with the red door,” you pointed at house number 56, “that one” Eddie pulled into your driveway. Once again, he helped the kids get out of the truck, you turned to the kids, “do you want to eat inside or outside ?” you asked, they looked at each other, “outside!” they simultaneously shouted. Unlocking the front door, the kids walked in, Emily led him to the backdoor and made their way outside. 

“Plates?” Eddie asked, you turned your attention to the fridge. “Uh cupboard to the left of the fridge” you leaned over into the fridge, reaching for the lemonade. “Wait does he drink lemonade- oh sorry!” You bumped into Eddie, his arm reaching for your arm to steady you. 

“It’s okay, yeah he does” Eddie smiled, leaving you in the house as he went out to see the kids. Hands on the counter, you steadied your breathing for a moment, you were basically pressed up against your daughter’s friend’s ridiculously hot father. Pouring the lemonade into the glasses, you take a moment before going to pick up the glasses, right as you reach for them, Eddie’s hand touches yours, startling you. “Holy shit!” your hand clutches at your chest, Eddie has a slight red tint on his cheeks, you couldn’t tell if it was a blush or from the heat. “I’m sorry” he said, giving your shoulder a squeeze before getting the glasses. “I don’t mean to keep scaring you like that” “Oh, no worries. Just been a little jumpy lately” following him out the backdoor.

--

Christopher and Emily sat in the shade and were painting something on the two giant tablecloths you had given them. “Why tablecloths?” Eddie glanced at you, then turning his attention back to the children. He sat beside you on the porch swing you had outside. “It’s big enough for them to express all their idea without having to squish them into one tiny piece of paper, plus you can use it as a tablecloth afterwards,” you laughed “you couldn't imagine how excited they are when they see it on the table” Eddie nodded, smiling at his son who was covered in paint beside a paint covered Emily. 

“We should get going soon, I'm sure your husband-” you looked at him as he paused mid-sentence, “or wife, will be home soon” his comment earned a loud cackle from you, a hand covering your mouth. “Oh god no,” you hand rested on his arm, “there’s no husband or wife in the picture, just me and love bug” 

“Oh sorry, I just assumed you were married” 

“No worries, I'm sure the missus or mister is waiting for you at home too” 

Eddie shook his head, “Christopher’s mom, my wife- my ex I guess, she passed last year” he said quietly, his eyes fixated on the little boy sitting in the grass. The smile faded from your face, “Eddie, I'm so sorry” you whispered. Emily’s father was never in the picture, the two of you never had to experience that type of loss or hurt. You couldn't even begin to imagine what it would be like for Eddie to lose his wife, for Christopher to lose his mom. “It’s okay. Truthfully, she had just come back into our lives. Christoper was really enjoying his time with her, so was I” his voice wavered for a moment before clearing his throat. 

“What about you ? Where’s Emily’s dad ?” he turned to you, clearly wanting to get the topic off of her, you indulged his questions.

 “Hooked up with Emily’s dad at a college party, found out I was pregnant with her a few weeks later. I told him, he said he didn't want anything to do with “that thing”” you used air quotes with the last part, 

“I'm sorry, he sounds like an ass. No offence” Eddie looked at you making you laugh. 

“None taken, I regret him with my whole being but I never regretted having her. She’s my best friend” you looked over at your daughter.

“I wasn't here for the first few years of Christopher’s life, I was in Afghanistan. I would tell myself that I'm doing it for him but honestly, I regret that. I missed all his firsts, the first steps, the first words... I know I'm here now but I can’t help but think what if I didn't make it home ? What would have happened?” you rested your hand on Eddie’s hand, “hey, you can’t think like that. Yeah, it sucks you missed the firsts but think about how many more there are. The first day of high school, first date, first car, first graduation, first time picking him up from a party” you smiled, giving his hand a little squeeze. 

The sky was now a reddish orange colour, it was around 8pm and you hadn’t realized how much time had gone by. “Alright kids, let’s see those paintings” you walked over to look at the paintings, “Eddie, I think we have two future artists here” he walked over too, he smiled at the kids and their paintings. “Y/n, I think you’re right. but buddy, we gotta get home” he helped Chris up, Emily tugged herself up by clinging to your leg, “you good there bug ?” your hand rested atop her head. “Mommy?” 

“Yes?” 

“Can Chris and his dad stay for dinner?” Your daughter leaned from behind your leg and gave Chris a thumbs up which he returned. “What are you two up to ?” you asked her, 

“Nothing! Can they stay ? pleaseeee” she begged you, you glanced at the boy and his father. 

“Bubba, I don't know. I’m sure Eddie’s got work in the morning, you and Chris both have school. They probably want to get home” 

“Actually,” Eddie turned to you, “if it’s okay with you, I don't mind staying” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Yeah, I’m sure Chris would like that too” You nodded, Eddie picked up Christoper with one arm and came over to pick up Emily with the other. Once again, your heart swells at the sight of this man and the children. 

-- 

Dinner was quiet, it was nice having a full table for once, normally it was just the two of you. “How was school guys?” Eddie asks the kids at the table, you were in the kitchen putting away the leftovers. “We painted frogs and saw a video about them” Christopher told him, Emily adding on to his statement. 

“Our teacher said she went on a date last night” she and Christopher giggled. 

“Did she?” Eddie chuckled, humouring the children. 

“I think you should go on a date with Emily’s mom” Christoper says to his father, you can hear Eddie cough after almost choking on his soda.

“I promise she’s nice” your daughter says, you hold back a laugh from the kitchen. 

“Why do you guys go watch some tv? I’ll take these to the kitchen” the sound of clattering dishes and little feet was the sound that filled the house for the next few moments. 

Eddie rests the plates in the sink and turns on the tap. “I got it, don’t worry” you tell him, he shakes his head. “Please, you made dinner and let us hang out here all afternoon, the least I can do is wash the dishes” 

“So, that was an interesting conversation y'all were having” you smile at him, again, that slight red tint popped back up on his face. “you heard that ?” his eyes on the sink, “yeah, I promise I am nice but I had no idea they were going to try and set us up” you laughed, you couldn’t hold it back any longer. Eddie let out a laugh too, “yeah, that was uh- a little- it definitely caught me off guard” he turned to you. 

The time was now 10:30, “I think it’s time we get home” Eddie said, wiping his hands on the kitchen towel. “Yeah, it’s pretty late” you watch as Eddie walks to the living room to get Christoper. A few moments later, Chris comes into the kitchen, you walk over and kneel down so the two of you are face to face. 

“Thank you for letting me hang out and have dinner here” he says sweetly, you give him a smile. “You’re welcome my love, you’re welcome to come over anytime you’d like” Christopher gives you a hug which you return. You walk in back to the living room where you find a scene similar to the one you just had wth Christopher. Emily sat beside Eddie on the couch, her little arms wrapped around his neck, “think about it ?” she asked him, sticking her pinky out to him. He laughed and nodded, “I will” he linked his pinky with hers. “Ready to go home bud ?” Eddie asked his son who nodded, Christopher said goodbye to Emily before they made their way over to the door. Emily had already ran off to go get ready for bed leaving you at the door as Eddie helped Chris in the truck. You stepped out onto the porch, Eddie was halfway between the truck and your front door. 

“Thank you for having us over today” 

“Thank you for coming, it was nice to have a full house” 

Eddie turned on his heels and headed to the truck, he stopped and turned back towards you. “I really enjoyed this, maybe we could have a playdate of our own sometime?” your brows furrowed at his comment. 

Was he suggesting that you get together and play with toys or play with something else.. 

Eddie senses your confusion, “oh god, I didn't mean, sorry uh-” he let out an awkward chuckle, “I meant maybe we could go out sometime ? together but without the kids ?” he made his way over to you. 

“Are you asking me on a date or a playdate ?” you tease him, you bit your lip, holding back a smile. Eddie rolled his eyes playfully, “a date y/n, I'd like to go on a date with you” 

“I’d like that Eddie” 

Eddie pressed a kiss to your cheek, “goodnight y/n”

“Goodnight Eddie” 

--

taglist: @ssa-volturi​ @advicefromnixxxx​

[ijenoyou]

Find Me Here.

bucky barnes x reader

summary; as long as you keep loving bucky he’ll never be alone.

warnings; mostly fluff i think lol this contains spoilers of tfatws last episode hehe ooo and also this is also quite inspired in hayley williams’s Find Me Here hehe listen to it! i love that song.

notes; soooo i got this idea while watching the episode lol a knee ways english isn’t my language so there might be some mistakeS ignoren them tho

Everything went back in the right place. You finally could relax and enjoy the company Bucky gave you, not worrying about him getting badly injured or in the worst case, dead. Just thinking about it makes you smile, remembering those times he would decided to spend his time in your place instead of his. At the start he didn’t say anything at all, just nod and occasionally grunt but as the days went by he started to speak —just one sentence but still, it’s better than nothing—.

Now here you are, at Sarah and Sam’s place, celebrating the effort him and Bucky did to stop Karli but specially celebrating the fact that Sam is now Captain America.

“I cleared the whole list.” Was the very first thing he said when he found you among the crowd of people that decided to join the celebration.

Your face had a expression of shock and when you registered in your mind what he said you smiled. It was the biggest smile he had even seen on you and he loved it.

You take his head in between your hands and bring him close to you, he immediately puts his hands on your waist and gives you a tiny squish. Bucky closes his eyes when he feels your forehead rest against his and sighs with happiness, it feels nice to have your warm and loving hands touching him again after being away from you for more than two weeks.

"I'm so proud of you Buck." You softly speak, you start caressing his cheeks with your thumbs and close the distance between the two of you, finally connecting lips and melting in each others touch.

"Please! Children are watching." Sam´s voice sounds around you and you tear apart from your boyfriend while rolling your eyes.

Sam approaches you and gives you a hug. "You had to ruin the moment like that, you ass." You push him with your shoulder and he laughs.

You take Bucky's right hand and guide him through the crowd, you spot a free table and decide to sit on it. He lightly taps his fingers on his leg and that makes you feel happier, that was a sign that gave away his excitement for something. It's something you learned to notice within the months you've spend next to him after the blip.

It's nice being able to finally take a breath and lay down without the worry of wondering who or what will try to kill you next month. Of course the world isn't at the best point right now, but it felt perfect for you and Bucky. Specially for him. He's now available to feel happiness after living in hell for so many years.

"You know, I was so worried seeing you fight last night." You slightly turn your body in Bucky's arms and watch his face.

He keeps staring at the sunset and turns his head towards your face, a small smile on his lips. "Good thing I took you with me." He teased and you groan.

It was a reaction he had, while fighting he took your leg so he wouldn't fall but you weren't ready for it so he ended up falling with you on top of him.

"Yeah well, you're an asshole for doing that, I wasn't ready!" You turn again and lay your back on his chest. "I mean at least if we ended up dying you and I would be together for the rest of the years."

He lets a loud laugh out and starts shaking his head.

"What makes you think I would die like that?"

"Keep going and when I die I'll haunt your old ass." You speak with a pout on your lips.

Bucky takes your chin, making turn only your head. He looks directly to your eyes and caresses your jaw, admiring you for a few seconds until he decided to speak again.

"I won't let you die, never." He murmured and gave you a peck on the lips.

You hummed in content at his words. You took his metal hand and interlaced your fingers with his.

It's moments like this when it made it all feel worth it and you wouldn't change it for nothing, you're his safe place and his yours. He rests his chin on the curve of your neck and sighs, he stares again at the sunset and starts thinking about how his life would be he if didn't have you on it. There would be some days he would have a complete breakdown and start doubting if he really deserves being loved by you or by everyone but especially you.

He wonders if he deserves to have another chance at life after all the pain he caused. But you always reassure him with kisses all over his face.

"I was thinking that you know, we can officially live together now that you're therapy free." He nods at your words. "But we're going to search up new places."

"I agree, I think I saw a rat last time I used the kitchen." Bucky jokes.

_

You groan as you place a heavy box on the ground. Bucky comes in after you and clicks his tongue.

"What?" You ask while narrowing your eyes at him.

"You're so dramatic, why are you acting like you just ran a marathon?" He mocks with a smile. "But you're lucky because this is the last box." He puts the box that his hands hold on the ground next to yours and then placed his hands on his hips.

You jump with excitement and extent your arms indicating him to give you a hug in which he holds you with love. The both of you admire the new home that you'll share with him for the rest of your and his life.

It's such a shame he had to leave next morning for a mission Sam needed help with. He so badly wanted to take you with him but seeing you so excited and happy about decorating the whole place made him change his mind. After all, you were the one that decided not to go on the first place. Too tired of kicking ass. Your words not his.

"Are you sure you don't want to go?" He asks.

"Yup but don't worry, I'll be fine." You pat his chest trying to give him so comfort. "And I'll be here, waiting at home for you." You look up, trying to catch a glimpse of his features. "You can always find me here."

“I love you so much love bug.”

[solarwonux]

8. “We need to talk about what happened last night.”

25.  “It’s an office with huge windows, everyone can see.” “So?”

marketing director!mingyu x f!reader

w.c: 2.6k

warnings: a little bitt of angst, a little bit of fluff, suggestive themes like voyeurism briefly mentioned

note: ngl, I’m sorry not my best work but I TRIED. Let me know your thoughts it would really help me out a lot. Thank you for reading.xx

masterlist || prompt list

Kim Mingyu - Marketing Director

The nameplate on the door sends a shiver up your spine, knowing that the man you had accidentally pulled in for a drunk kiss the night before during the weekly company bonding dinner, was sitting just behind the door. He was pissed, had pushed you away, made a big deal in wiping his mouth with the back of his hand in disgust. Causing you to sober up quickly and regretting it.

It’s no secret that God had taken his sweet time when creating Kim Mingyu Marketing Director of GoSe Enterprises. He put all the Greek Gods you spent your free time reading about to shame. You’ve been crushing on him since he sat in the cubicle next to yours for years. The two of you had developed a nice easy-going friendship. He was sweet, funny, and always offered amazing advice, both on personal and professional matters. You were practically head over heals for him.

Then the promotion came, granting Mingyu with an office on the southside of the company building. Huge windows overlooking the city below, and the office. A nice fancy gold nameplate with his new job description underneath it. Naturally, the two of you grew apart, ripped from one another without a warning. He was no longer rooting for you and your ideas. Instead, he was the one turning down all your project proposals. He was the one assigning you the revision tasks he knew you hated doing. He was the reason for the random spikes of anxiety throughout the workday. He was no longer your friend, he was your supervisor. His soft demeanor and fleeting touches were nowhere to be found. Lost amongst piles of paperwork surrounding his desk. 

You took a deep breath holding your laptop close against your chest, eyeing the nameplate on the large dark wooden door that took your Mingyu away from you a year ago. You were nervous. He only ever called you down to his office if you had a proposal revision due, which this time you didn’t. 

The last idea you had pitched two weeks ago was turned down before you could finish your sentence during your first PowerPoint slide. He didn’t even give you the chance to improve it, simply said, “trash it, it’s not worth wasting your time when it’s not a plausible option.” So, the only other option left and the one that made sense was your slip-up the night before. He had called you down to ask for your resignation letter for breaking company policy. 

“If you keep staring at the door it won’t magically open,” Chan spoke next to you making you jump. “I’m just saying.” He shrugged sheepishly and opened the door, walking in with confidence. “Mingyu I have the copies you asked for.” 

You filed in after him, situating yourself close to the wall and by the door, while Mingyu instructed Chan on where to set down the copies. Your heart was beating rapidly against your chest, watching as the two of them laughed about some inside joke they had. The anger along with jealousy boiled with fever deep within you. 

This was the problem. Mingyu had only changed when it came to you. With everyone else he was the same Mingyu you once had the pleasure of knowing, and that not only confused you but it made you angry. “Are we still on for guys' night this friday?” Chan asked the older male pointing finger guns at him. 

“Yes, of course, drinks are on Seungcheol this time, which makes my wallet really happy.” Mingyu clapped Chan on the back and led him towards his office door. “Same bar with the cute bartender?” He emphasized, his angry gaze falling on you for a second. 

Subtle you silently scoffed rolling your eyes, holding your laptop as close to your body as humanly possible.If he didn’t make his distaste towards you obvious by his reaction last night, he surely made it painfully clear just now. 

“That’s the one.” Chan nodded, sending you a pitying look, one you didn’t need. You knew you were fucked. 

Everyone knew about your painful crush on Mingyu. Everyone had seen you grab the collar of his dark maroon shirt last night and plant a wet alcohol filled kiss against his lips. Everyone had seen the way he reacted, yanking his suit jacket off the back of his chair and walking out of the bar pissed. So, you didn’t need the various pitying looks you were getting since the moment you walked in that morning.

“Alright then I’ll see you then, don’t forget to turn in your proposal by tomorrow night, Jeonghan keeps bugging me about it.” 

Chan sighed, hitting his forehead with the palm of his hand, “shit, I’ll have it done by tomorrow morning.” He said quickly before speed walking back to his cubicle. Leaving you alone to face the problem you had caused. 

Mingyu laughed lightly, shaking his head as he shut the door to his office, “I knew he forgot.” He mumbled before straightening his back, the scowl you were used to seeing appeared on his face once again. He walked past you to his desk, taking a seat next to his name plate. You stayed put, looking down at the floor, only counting the tiny dust bunnies that were visible to your eye. 

Mingyu cleared his throat, “We need to talk about what happened last night.” 

You raised your head pushing yourself off the wall and walked to him. Stopping behind one of the leather chairs in front of his desk. “Don’t need to, It’s my fault for breaking company policy. I’ll hand in my resignation letter to Jeonghan tonight.” You kept your eyes trained on the skyscraper reflecting through the window behind him. Anything was better than looking at him right now. 

He sighed, running a frustrated hand across his face. He pushed himself away from his desk and took a step forward. “I didn’t call you in here to ask you to resign.” 

Confused, you tore your eyes from the building behind him and looked at him. The bags under his eyes that had started to form from lack of sleep and overwork were now more prominent than before. It made you wonder if he hadn’t slept last night because of you, but then you remembered the huge project he was currently working on, so you casted that thought aside.

“Oh then...I-umm, why am I here?” 

“Do you have any idea the position you put me in last night?” He furrowed his brows, placing a knee down on the chair in front of him. He leaned his forearms against the back of it, closing the distance you purposely kept between the two of you. 

You took a step back, scrunching your nose, “I don’t understand. You don’t want me to resign. If I’m not getting penalized then why am I here?” You dropped your arms in defeat. “If you called me in here to tell me you’re not interested in me, you don’t have to. I already know.” You finished swallowing the lump that had formed at the back of your throat. 

“That’s the problem.” Mingyu pointed an accusing finger at you before retreating it. “I am interested in you, more than interested in you. I have strong feelings for you and I can’t act on them because I don’t want everyone to think that I favor you, because I do.” 

I’m dreaming, you thought pressing the palm of your hand against your heated forehead. You had to be dreaming, life has never been this giving to you, “wait I’m confused...you ran out last night, literally pushed me away, disgusted. Do you have any idea how that felt? I had to sit down and face our co-workers with a fake smile on my face because I didn’t want them to see me cry.” 

Mingyu’s face softened, he gripped the back of the chair hard enough for his knuckles to almost turn white. “I know and I’m sorry but if I had stayed then I would’ve kept kissing you. You have no idea how badly I’ve been wanting to do that.” He dropped his head releasing a shuddering breath. “Every time we stayed here working over time, the only thing I could think about was how easy it’d be if I just leaned over a little more and kissed you. No one would be around, no one would see, it would just be our little secret. But the stupid company policy always seemed to find it’s way into my head and I never let myself cross that boundary.”

“Mingyu w-why are you telling me this now? Even if we have feelings for one another, my job is important to me and I don’t want to risk getting fired because we’re together.” You blinked rapidly, now was not the time to cry. You could cry later in the communal bathroom across the hall, or on the bus ride home, just anywhere but here. 

“Well,” Mingyu rounded the corner of the chairs and made his way to you, finally closing the distance. “I talked to Jeonghan -”

“Wait you told him we kissed?” You were sure your eyes were bulging out of their sockets as the realization hit you. Of course, Mingyu wasn’t going to fire you, he was saving himself the burden and having Jeonghan do it for him. 

He chuckled, placing a hand against your hip making you jump, “Just how drunk were you last night? Jeonghan was there when it happened. He called me and threatened to fire me for leaving you the way I did.” He whispered, circling his arm around you and pulling you close, making you stumble from the sudden impact. “H’said, fuck company policy and that I was stupid for following it when no one does.” 

“Wait are you saying th -” 

“Yes we can be together as long as we keep our work and personal lives separate, so, no sex in my office.” 

You gasped hitting his chest lightly, this lewd side of Mingyu was one you had never seen before. Or at least you had but in a much more subtle way. “Well of course, we can’t do that. That was never going to be part of the deal.” The thought of him pressing you against his desk after hours sent a thrilling shiver up your spine. You bit your lip, shaking your head. No, not allowed, focus. 

“Why not? I’ve slept on the couch here a few times. It's pretty comfortable.” He reassured, hooking his thumb in the belt loops of your dark slacks. “And your ass looks so good in these pants, I literally have to make it my mission to not stare.” 

“I’m flattered, I guess. But look around Gyu.” His gaze followed your hand as you waved it around in front of him. “It’s an office with huge windows, everyone can see -” 

He pulled you closer, eloping your body in both of his arms, “so?” He tilted his head to the side, a smirk playing against his lips. You had forgotten how much he liked to tease you. 

“So?” You rolled your eyes, “were you not listening to what I was saying everyone can see.” You emphasized, poking his cheek with your index finger. 

Mingyu bit his bottom lip trying to suppress his laughter. He forgot how easily flustered you could get, especially when he would say something out of pocket to you. Sure, half of the time you would ignore him, sometimes you would simply roll your eyes, focused on whatever you were working on. Other times he would leave you at a loss for words.

“Frankly, I don’t see the problem. We can just wait until everyone goes home and then give whoever is walking by a free show.” He finished raising his eyebrows suggestively at you. 

You rolled your eyes, pushing him away and walked to his door. “I can’t believe you’re already thinking about having sex with me and you haven’t even asked me out on a date or to be your girlfriend.” You pushed his door open and walked out, “the audacity you have Kim Mingyu.” 

He felt panic surge through him, his big mouth getting the best of him once again. “Woah woah wait I was getting there, you didn’t give me the chance to ask.” He followed you out the door, trying to keep up with your hasty steps. Who knew you could walk so fast in heels. 

Once you were at your cubicle you sat down, placing your laptop on top of your desk, waking it up. “Too late, company policy says we have to keep our work and personal lives separate, guess you’re going to have to wait a while.” You look at the digital clock on your desk, “Five and a half hours to be exact.” 

Mingyu threw his head back, frustrated. As much as he enjoyed teasing you, he had forgotten that you were equally as evil if not worse. He had waited to ask you out for more than two years and now that he could, he literally couldn’t wait five and a half hours.

“Friday, after work?” He whispered, covering the side of his mouth with his hand to make it look less suspicious. It wasn’t working.

“What about guys night and that cute bartender?” You smirked, clicking around your computer opening the files you were working on earlier. 

Mingyu took a deep breath and grabbed the back of your chair, swinging it around ripping you away from your computer screen. “Fuck guys night honey, I’m taking you home, cooking you the best meal you’ve ever had and then -” He stopped peaking over your cubicle. Everyone that had tuned in to your debacle, quickly scrambled to focus on whatever they were doing before you and Mingyu walked in. He nodded once before leaning down, his lips close to your ear, whispering, “then I’m going to fuck you against my window so everyone can see that you’re finally mine.” 

You bit your lip to keep yourself from moaning.You put your hand on his chest and leaned in, placing a soft kiss against the shell of his ear. “Kinky, ask me again in five and a half hours.” You gave his cheek a gentle pat before pushing him away, returning your attention to what you were doing. 

Mingyu grumbled, shoulders slumped as he dragged himself back to his office. You stifled a laugh, the butterflies you had once felt for him returning. 

“You know I heard all of that.” Soonyoung spoke, peeking his head into your cubicle, his eyes wide like he had just seen a ghost, or something utterly disgusting.

Fuck! Mingyu! You whined silently before turning to face your cubicle mate. “I’ll buy you lunch if you pretend like you didn’t hear anything.” 

He put a pensive hand on his chin before sticking his hand out for you to shake. “Deal, I suddenly have been overcome with amnesia, whatever happened in the last five minutes I do not remember, that’s only if you promise to also finish revising this project proposal for me.” He waved the large packet of white copy paper in front of you. 

You groaned, “that wasn’t part of the deal we just shook on.” 

He sucked in air, “I don’t remember that.” He pouted. “I have amnesia, remember.” 

“Fuck fine.”