#It is wild realizing which letters I use a lot and which ones I don't

[wolfsbanesparks]

WIP game (part 2!)

Rules: You will be given a word. Share one sentence/excerpt from your wip(s) that start with each letter of that word.

I couldn't help myself so I'm taking @cerealboxlore's offer to jump in again since I had so much fun with the first one!

Word: MARVEL

M: "My hero," Lois smiled pulling him close and ruffling his hair.

"I thought Superman was your hero?" Billy teased.

"It's easy being a hero when you're bulletproof, but when you're a squishy little human like us, it takes guts." (One Last Chance)

A: A voice in his ear startled him, warm breath ghosting over his skin. “I could take out that gag and let you scream and scream and scream until your throat bleeds and your voice dies out. But no one would hear you. No one would suspect a thing." (Pretty Little Thing)

R: “Raising that many kids on your own,” he said, pausing as he looked for the right words, the right way to show his support of his teammate. Eventually he settled on keeping it simple. “That must be hard. If you ever need anything, I hope you know I’ll always be just one call away.” (Family Matters)

V: “Vasquez residence,” he said, his jovial tone jarring after the day Billy had had. He almost hung up right then and there, just so he didn’t have to hear it again. (Pretty Little Thing)

E: Every book and TV show seemed to have a romantic subplot, every song was a love song, every interaction a potential meet-cute—it was like the whole world was centered around something he couldn’t comprehend. (Crush)

L: Looming in the darkness, where moments before Billy could have sworn there was nothing but shadow, was the Batman. (Marvels in Gotham)

This was so much fun, but it also reminded me just how much more I need to write lol. But needless to say I am more inspired than I've been in ages!

Feel free to ask me anything about my various WIPs, talking about them is a surefire way to make me want to write more!

Pretty much everyone that I can think of has been tagged in this by someone, so I'll leave it open for anyone to join in!

Your word is: HEART

[renatogpadilla]

THOUGHTS ON CR3E92 IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:

- FIRST EVER CR CROSSOVER EPISODE?!

LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

- Dariax said "This Flute doesn't play itself anymore." Doriax canon offscreen?

- "After all the handjobs, this is what we mean to you?!" Damn... I mean, I'm glad Opal and Cyrus found a way to relieve stress, Gods know they're both stressed, but damn.

- Ending the episode on Opal Twice-Crowned hitting phase 2 of the boss fight was EVIL!

I love it, @quiddie ! I feel like when this gets animated in a decade or so, we'll get this fight and the fight with Otohan Thull overlayed one on top of the other for a Season Finale or something!

- Raven Queen going two for two on Rogues turned Paladin! Which is great, but now I have to replan Morrighan's moveset for that imaginary Critical Role fighting game that only exists in my head (somebody ask me about it please, I NEED to talk about it!) but at least she gets some Smite options out of the Bunny Hop command jump!

- Dariax is a Bard now too! That's honestly so perfect for Matt! And the fact that both Sorcerers and Bards are Charisma Casters makes me feel like the Synergies are gonna be great!

- Oh, Dorian, wonderful blue king... That's a lot of strength that your Dice will never agree to let you use for anything cool. I missed you SO MUCH!

- Speaking of that imaginary CR fighting game, this just solidified Opal as a puppet character. The tag combos with Ted would be WILD! Think Kenshi from MK1!

- Fy'ra Rai... Just... FY'RA RAI! Gods, I've missed Anjali at the table! Her memory with Opal, her tug-of-war with her thoughts about her sister... THE LAVA WHIP! Nothing sexier than Monks! Except a pissed off Wizard or Druid.

- On the other side of the table, I LOVE the moment the girls all collectively remembered they had to break the news to Frida... Oh, that's gonna hurt BAD!

- Anyone else noticed that Ashton is BURNT OUT and laying on the ground after his Titan form wears off, but Fearne just says she's really tired and just KEEPS GOING? Ashton is DONE for now, but Fearne needs to keep moving forward... Fuck, I love these two.

- Orym... Just... Orym. If you take a level in Barbarian after this, I wouldn't blame you.

- Side-Note: This means Dorian DID get Orym's last message before they went to the moon! He just didn't/couldn't answer! Which means, through the static and everything, Dorian COULD hear Orym! And now he's probably gonna get this message once the battle is over... Jesus, if they get to Zephra and Keyleth went to the Lodge next to the lake that's gonna be a problem...

- Side-Note Side-Note: Anyone else hoping to GOD that Allura called the Nein to help? Cause Beau and Caleb were involved, but now it feels like an "All Hands on Deck" situation, and we could use Kingsley's small army of pirates right about now...

- So much happened this episode between the grieving and the flashbacks and the rolling for handjobs that I didn't have time to process the splinter cell of Xhorhasians that split their soul in twain until I woke up... Opal may have forgotten, but maybe Ted hasn't? Though if they're the same person, maybe they both forgot...

- Aabria, the corrupting of the Memories was FOUL, I LOVE IT!!!

- Somebody needs to tell Essek about the soul-splitters. In fact, let's get to that while we deal with Ashton too!

- IF OPAL DIES, AMY CAN COME OVER AS DENI$E! Like, I don't WANT her to die, but Westruun isn't that far... 👀

- I just realized this is the first ever FULL episode of CR without Sam at the table... Fuck, man, when it hurts it hurts. Glad Marisha brought back the fan.

"Forgot the Consonants?" "No Letters." OUCH, MISS RAY, WHAT THE FUCK?!

- Raven Queen Paladins hasting themselves first thing in the fight. Vax is back, and he's a Bunny Girl now!

- I like that the Crownkeepers are a two-way Overwatch reunion (McCree Cassidy and Symmetra) and a three-way Persona 5 reunion (Yusuke, Ann Futaba and Akechi).

- Everything was so fucked this episode that everything with Liliana got knocked to the background for me, THAT'S how good it was!

- The SECOND Evoroa said Ludinos was on Exandria I knew EXACTLY where he would be! Now we HAVE to get the Nein involved, right? Unless the bastard makes the city float again...

I cannot WAIT for the next episode! And if Sam brings a new character when all the groups are together, it would be SPECTACULAR! I'm guessing he's going to play one of the moon races, because that just sounds cool... Either that or Tary!

[sadruru]

Suddenly inspired by one artwork where one artist's commander is depicted on different mythic path. It made me want to draw some of them too! Each choice will affect Melissa differently, both externally and internally.

Maybe some of you have thought of something like that too. I think it's really cool!

WARNING!!! That's a lot of letters ~ Because I can and I will I LOVE making long posts with lots of text. A-HA-HA!!!

Trickster: "No matter what I do, my life is a f*cking comedy for humans, gods, demons… And you know what? I don't give a sh*t about you motherf*ckers! / You watch Melissa go into hysterics. The insane laughter makes your blood run cold. She even seems to be dancing to music she can only hear in her head. / No one else will have power over me, not even the gods! From now on, I will write my own happy ending! Now let us play by my rules. I am the queen in this godd*mn theater, and you will be my jesters!!"

The True path. The alignment remains the same, Chaotic-Neutral. More madness and fun. Melissa certainly wouldn't give up the ability to interfere even with the universe if it were possible. The only outward difference is the occasional appearance of a strange mask on her face. At times like that, you never know what to expect from this tiefling. I had a hell of a hard time drawing that mask, but it turned out great. Just the way I wanted it to turn out.

Angel: "/ Melissa's eyes look down in confusion. You can hear the shaky notes of confusion in her voice. She is unusually silent. The weight of responsibility now rests on her shoulders. / I thought this was going to be an amusing joke. Tiefling's more like an angel, and she's got stupid wings! Sounds mad, doesn't it? My skin and hair… Do I really look like a human now? It's wild…. It's so weird to feel so many hopeful looks on me. I don't even know what to say…"

The alignment changed to Neutral. And from this point on, some of her views on life would have to be reevaluated, which was extremely discouraging. Melissa will become much more serious and calm, less 24/7 style jokes. More adequacy. Her skin will lighten and her hair will take on its usual human brown hue as will her eyes. The appearance of wings, of course, and a semblance of a warm glow from behind, like the aasimar's. She didn't choose this path because there was no point in bringing righteousness and law to a world that was already rotten. Easier to destroy everything… Isn't it?

Azata: "Okay, wait… What the?! Butterfly wings?! Plants on my head?! I look like a pink princess, only without the dress!" / Melissa looks extremely annoyed. No matter how hard she tried to pluck the flowers, they grew on her head again and again, covering her horns with fragrant roses. Slowly she begins to relax, realizing that it's no use. / Damn it!.. Okay, okay. I think I liked that. A little bit... Maybe bringing 'kindness' and 'freedom' isn't as stupid as I thought… Don't dare laugh!"

Chaotic-Good By the end of the game, Melissa becomes softer and kinder. But she's not thrilled with the sudden external changes anyway. You know, flowers and butterflies. The reason for her rejection of this path is simple. She doesn't believe in all that nonsense about friendship, loyalty, kindness and so on. Didn't grow up in that kind of environment. ...Azata - it's not necessarily blue colors. I just want red 🗿 No Desna. Just Cayden Cailean and Calistria!

Demon: "/ Her burning eyes reflected real rage and bloodlust. It was as if primordial chaos in all its horrifying splendor came into view. The thirst for destruction that had haunted her all her life had taken on new colors, and she was ready to carry it with renewed vigor. The girl's voice was no longer human, but rather frighteningly demonic. / I want to break someone's spine, fracture their skull, gut their insides... How ironic. All my life I've been called many things: monster, beast, demon. And now... Now I'm exactly what you thought I was. I hope you're all happy."

REALL Chaotic- Evil The saddest path for Melissa, in my opinion. Especially for a tiefling, considering they often do bad things under societal pressure. Absolute hatred for anything and everything. The appearance would be demonic.

The closest thing to her was the Demon path. Sure, it was very tempting to gain destructive power and take revenge on everyone who had hurt her, but that would be too easy. Deep down, Melissa really didn't want anything like that. If you got to know her better, you'd realize that she's not as bad as she seems at first glance.

P.S.: Yes, she has a big scar on her neck. There will definitely be pages later on about how she got it. It has to do with her death and sudden resurrection.

[dee-the-red-witch]

The Monthly Roundup

Okay, normally, this is just a free monthly post over on my Patreon, but I figured I should push this out into the wild as well, because this kind of stuff's always needed. Want this, and a bunch of weekly readings from a cursed tarot deck, media reviews, and other content including fiction and the occasional build post? Maybe consider adding me over there as well. Anyways, like I said, it's a monthly roundup- in this case a bigass collection of links and resources for folks interested in pursuing gender transition one way or another. And while a bunch of it is transfem specific and sometimes medical transition specific, because it's stuff I dug up while hunting down things for myself, there's also things in there good for anyone of any gender, and resources for legal/social transition as well. And this is long enough to deserve a cut for once, so...

Hey! What If *I'M* trans?

The Gender Dysphoria Bible- https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en Wondering if you're experiencing Gender Dysphoria? This may be a good place to start. Realize the GDB is slanted largely towards transfem folks, so it doesn't necessarily apply evenly to everyone, but it does cover a lot of ground that folks may identify with.

Trans Medical Resources

DIY HRT- https://diyhrt.cafe/index.php/Main_Page (for legal reasons, I'm going to tell you to at least try to see a licensed physician or endocrinologist before starting to DIY your own hormones, but keep in mind, I'm not your responsible adult, and if you don't choose to listen, that's on you) This is the main, best hub for sourcing and getting info on doing your own hormone therapy. Keep in mind, it's once again slanted towards feminizing methods, because testosterone is still a controlled substance in most of the world (which is bloody fucking stupid, but that's a rant for another time).

GALAP- The Gender Affirming Letter Access Project- https://thegalap.org/ While we may have new WPATH guidelines with the Soc 8 updates that dropped a little bit ago, most providers and insurers are still on outdated requirements that insist on letters from mental health providers for transgender-related care. Which can affect access to surgeries, HRT, and more. GALAP exists to connect folks with providers who'll give those letters,m in some cases free of charge even.

Gynecologist List- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1Djia_WkrVO3S4jKn6odNwQk7pOcpcL4x00FMNekrb7Q/htmlview This one's more for uterus-owners in general and less trans-specific, but giventhe number of folks with uteri who'd can end up with a hard time finding a willing doctor for some procedures, it's important for everyone. This is a Google database of hundreds of gynecologists, listed by location, willing to perform sterilization procedures with informed consent, without secondary authorization from anyone else. The list is patient-vetted, so your mileage may vary, but for those seeking sterilization and/or hysterectomies as part of their transition it may prove to be invaluable as a resource, because doctors willing to do this work can be few and rare in some areas.

Transfeminine Science- https://transfemscience.org/ Articles, journals and all sorts of researching into, well, just what the name says, transfeminizing science. A lot of medical professionals simply don't have knowledge in the field and are acting on what they learned in med school, which may be way out of date. If they're willing to listen, there's stuff in there to help bring them up to speed. Better yet, it;'s also a great resource to educate yourself so you can advocate for your own care a bit better.

Other Transition resources (legal, social, etc)

NCTE's ID GUIDE- https://transequality.org/documents The National Transgender Center for Equality's guide to changing your legal identity, in a handy format that lets you break it down by state or territory, or even federal documents (United States only, sorry.) and links to the right paperwork to use. Rainbow Passage- https://rainbowpassage.org/ It sucks that we need organizations like this in these times, but I'm glad to see there's people already stepping up to the task. Rainbow Passage is an organization dedicated to helping trans youth get out of trans-hostile states and relocate to safer areas. And if you can, volunteering for them is a great way to help improve safety for trans folk in general.

Seattle Voice Lab- https://www.seattlevoicelab.com/ if you've seen me on social media much lately, then you've seen me talking about this place. This is who I'm (through February and March at least) taking voice lessons through to feminize my own voice more. They also have a bunch of online resources, a discord server, and other help if you need to figure your own vocal chords out a bit better.

Strands For Trans- https://strandsfortrans.org/ Need a haircut, or color or other beauty services you're using for the first time ever as an out trans person and you're not sure where's going to be safe to go? Strands For Trans is the first comprehensive database of Aesthetics businesses for hair and everything, AND THEY VET THE BUSINESSES, to ensure your safety and comfort.

TLC's Life-Planning Guide- http://transgenderlawcenter.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/04/TLC_Life-Planning-Documents-Transgender.pdf The Transgender Law Center put this guide together specifically for planning end-of-life details. Yes, it's a depressing and tragic thing, but protecting and making sure our identities are still properly preserved after we die is still just as an important part of what we're fighting as anything else is. This guide will help you with establishing a Living Will, controlling hospital visits, and setting up proper Powers of Attorney, so that nothing potentially falls back into the hands of people who might refuse to recognize who you truly are. (In many states, you can designate someone other than your next of kin to take charge of your body when you die (next of kin is defined by law, not by preference). If you need to do that, go to nolo.com and look up article on "[your state] funeral law" to get a rundown on if and how to do this.

Trans Media

The Digital Transgender Archive- https://www.digitaltransgenderarchive.net "The purpose of the Digital Transgender Archive (DTA) is to increase the accessibility of transgender history by providing an online hub for digitized historical materials, born-digital materials, and information on archival holdings throughout the world." (In short, this is one of several free libraries of trans history.)

Totally Trans- https://www.patreon.com/totallytrans/posts Hey, look at that, it's another Patreon! Except, no, wait, it's a podcast! Totally Trans looks at media both historical and modern with a transgendered lens. Sometimes it's silly fun, other times, it's great insights into queer and trans history, and all around it's a great show to add on whatever service you're already getting podcasts through- or you can hit the link above to help support them at the same time for early access.

Trans News, Blogs, and Notes

Erin In The Morning: https://www.erininthemorning.com/ Erin's newsletter runs almost daily these days, mostly with updates regarding trans legislation all around the US. It's a good way to stay up to date, but it can also be a drag these days, largely because it's practically just a constantly expanding list of bad news thanks to the GOP right now.

Stained Glass Woman: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/ aka Doc Impossible/Zoe. I first discovered her work and writing when WPATH released their new SOC 8 guidelines, because she was one of the few people that could make the thing actually make sense in non-legalese. But I subscribed andkeep following here for regular updates both because she presents a trans coming out narrative that was just a joy to read, and also covers interesting  news in the field of trans medicine from time to time. Definitely worth adding to your feed.

A Self Defense Study Guide for Trans Women and Gender Non-Conforming / Nonbinary AMAB Folks: https://www.silversprocket.net/2021/09/13/a-self-defense-study-guide-for-trans-women-and-gender-non-conforming-nonbinary-amab-folks/

This is, quite honestly, one of the best self-defense guides I've seen for gender-nonconforming folks (and one of the few, to be honest), short of private defense instruction. AND it's available to read in full for free at that link, or in print for just a 5$ donation. Go check it out.

Other general roundups

Grassroots GAC Resources- https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/19kSzBLo_hjpiBjHN8tvK73sVHU25NKWjMau2vNl8uuM/edit#gid=778305468 Google spreadsheet of links in general, from therapy help and hrt assistance, to all sorts of other info, some of which are repeats from here, but there's also a bunch of others I haven't had time or opportunity to vet yet.

[exoticalmonde]

Arknights Chapter XIII - The Whirlpool That Is Passion (Part III)

Perhaps we are all familiar with this already but I actually spent the time to read it before starting because I didn't want to have yet ANOTHER 'Wow, why did X thing happen?' with Pinkie immediately responding 'Did you read the enemy description?'

WARNING: This post is going to contain a lot of yapping from me about Hoederer and how much I love him and will also have a LOT of spoilers.

13-1 Across the Battlefield's Line

Pinkie: "Dr. Seuss? Like... the one who writes children's books with rhymes?" Me: *Unhappy because from the first moment, I realized that this is Hoederer and he's probably going to start me off with a little trauma and a little loss, a sprinkle of sadness just so I know not to be optimistic about the future*

... I've said it before and I will keep saying it - the history of Sarkaz as a race is so incredibly sad to the point it's a relief that the person you are talking to doesn't actually know who you are because otherwise, they would never treat you with even a smidge of kindness. And in the end, what do you even have to do in a jail cell? He waited around for nothing and got executed.

Of course, not that he had a choice.

---

After Hoederer's introspection we have, what I understood to be, a couple of Sarkaz mercs standing and waiting for commands while trying desperately to get something in their stomachs from what they managed to take steal from around. Including some... very important books perhaps from the library of this mansion.

Calfskin books... I can't decide if that would be more precious than paper.

---

I believe we spoke with Pinkie about this, but it is so immensely sad to see how the Sarkaz race has been in this situation for so long that they actively do not even NEED to be able to read. I can't imagine myself being unable to read, even if it's signs. Letters. How would they otherwise communicate with each other over a long distance? They don't even have families to message sometimes. They probably don't have the paper or means to send them about, since Catastrophe messengers... would probably never be able to take on such messages.

Many of them probably don't have families either. Devastated.

But with this line, it also gives me hope. Sometimes we take the things we have as a given and, at least I, forget that they still have ways of enjoying things by:

Making up stories based on the drawings they see. Which also makes me happy because books with drawings SHOULD be more of a thing, it's so wonderful. I miss it.

Beleaguered Mercenary: [Y'know. If we put houses on the moons, plant our own food, maybe we won't have to keep fighting like this in the future? Maybe something even bigger'll happen, and everyone'll stop wanting to be up in arms?]

He just solved an international crisis with 2 sentences.

Pinkie: "How to solve the problem - we move to the moon." Me: "Multiple even. I forgot they have two moons." Pinkie: "They have one. It was believed that they had two, but one is only a reflection from the barrier." Me: "OH RIGHT!!! I was a common Terran for a second."

---

---

Not that I was endeared to the press in Kazimierz initially after everything in Maria Nearl and Pinus Sylvestris, but for goodness sake... They actually sound like how I imagine the actual press to sound. What they actually do sound like "Shock and awe and make us popular for being the first to write about it."

The things people WITH a press do in comparison to those who need it but do not have it. Perfect way to pace the story, I'm so happy chapter 13 came out.

Have I mentioned that already?

---

SHE IS GOING TO LEITHANIEN!!!!!

---

Crying and sobbing.

---

---

I don't even know what to think about Trillby Asher anymore. Because I very recently finished the Kal'tsit and Passenger story, I kind of know that things are NOT going well with the Emperor's Blades... To see them show up again is giving me wild anxiety because we already know that they are super unstable and they can cause a catastrophe just by showing up.

What even is your purpose? Why are you here?

What even is the point of this, I don't know, but we're saving it in case it shows up again. 11, 29, 1 (code word) I wish this was translatable into English, frankly, your alphabet doesn't have 29 symbols.

HAH! At around this point I was like "OH MY GOSH IS THIS A COLLAPSAL WHAT DO YOU MEAN BLACK SNOW" and then Panko deadpans 'We have seen this before somewhere else' and I realized.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[eponymous-rose]

I'm gonna do this again because it turned out last week kinda went off the rails without it and the little bit of accountability is super super helpful.

Monday!

It's a busy week! It's also my birthday week! Let's do this!

E-mail with coffee: sent a prospective grad student a congratulations on her admission to our program. I'm really hoping to hire her, but I do need to consider whether I might want to admit two students for this position and just get the extra funding for the second one elsewhere if both decide to come. Hmm. Confirmed coffee on Friday with the wonderful admin I've been wanting to befriend for a while - finally we'll interact outside of paperwork! Sadly Wednesday's seminar speaker is ill and won't be able to present - I'm leading the seminar so that does add up to a little less work for me, which is the silver lining there. One of my student groups is struggling to grab data from the weather station they built on the roof because the dang software doesn't work on Macs - managed to coordinate getting them a loaner PC laptop from the department, whew. Completed two letters of reference for an undergrad student applying to internships. Somehow managed to double-book a meeting and gave one a heads up to cancel. Showed my availability for scheduling a PhD defense for a student whose committee I'm on. One of the speakers for my seminar series sent a somewhat passive-aggressive e-mail to the department chair to let him know his info's not up on the website yet. Department chair forwarded it to me, I replied with, essentially "hold your dang horses, your talk isn't until mid-March". He replied back with a sheepish apology. All good.

Formulated my list of essential stuff for this week:

finish Wednesday's (and next week's?) lecture(s?)

prepare next week's homework & key

work on grant proposal

work on commissioned review article

So excited that we're finally to the part of the class that I have taught before in past years! Great lecture today about statistical data analysis. Hurt everyone's brains with the Monty Hall problem. Showed a lot of XKCD comics, got some laughs. Good times. Answered some student questions on the homework assignments, looks like everyone's on track to ace this one as well. This is a really strong class and I'm very proud of them!

On to a virtual meeting with my peer mentoring group! We talk about how utterly wild it is that different departments manage research funding in completely different ways. I vent a bit for the umpteenth time about having to rely 100% on grants to pay my grad students (bigger departments often have student funding provided if they TA, but we just don't have enough classes to sustain that). Easily the biggest source of stress in my life right now is running out of funding for my students: "in order to pay your graduate students, you have to receive a major grant" "cool! how likely am I to get one?" "success rates are about 1 in 15" "uhhhh" "also the applications (if you manage to find a perfect match for your research) take about 40-60 hours to plan and write and it's not work that's looked at formally as part of your tenure review so you're actively taking time away from research" "uhhhhhhh" "and you won't find out if you have been awarded the grant or not before you have to make the decision to hire a student so you just gotta gamble on it" "UHHHHHHH" "you don't get paid in the summer either unless you pull in 2-3 grants that can each cover one month max of salary so I hope you're not putting well over 50% of your take-home toward rent in one of the worst markets in the US or anything haha." It's A Lot. But it's very helpful to talk to people about it!

Realized I left my half-finished Wednesday lecture on my computer at home so I can't work on it during my break between meetings. Shoot, guess that's a tomorrow problem. At least I can work on the homework assignment! This one was an absolute nightmare last year but I think I've come up with a way to simplify it while still hitting all of the learning goals. It's complicated but hopefully very satisfying and builds on everything they've learned thus far. Even with the simplification, I'm definitely expecting some traffic in office hours next week. Opted not to include the more tedious section of the homework because I've tested that particular skill amply in the earlier assignments this quarter. Ran through it once on my own, sent myself the key, then posted the homework and the submission portal for their online module for next week, so all I'm missing now is the lectures.

E-mail break! A professor at a small university nearby wants to bring in a grad student from my group to talk to her class about tornadoes! I have someone in mind (who is both a great presenter and also could use a little confidence boost to get back on track with his research), but of course he's working remotely on the other side of the country, so it's time for a quick check to see if a remote presentation is possible. Checking in on my seminar speaker for next week - project title and abstract up on the website, phew. She's a grad student, so I should find out if her advisor can introduce her or if they want me to do so (and if so, I gotta do some digging for fun facts to share!). Got an invite to a lunch with the faculty & chair where we're going to be brainstorming our next faculty hire, so I gotta be there for that (also because free food)! Surreal to think that we might be hiring my colleague for the next 30 years. It's... kind of intimidating and I definitely want to be in the room for that discussion. Aha! A reply already: virtual talk is fine, so I put the professor and my grad student in touch.

Nice virtual meeting with my former postdoc advisor - we commiserate for a while over his recent illness, but he's feeling better now so we quickly jump back to talking research. The small grant I was awarded recently actually dovetails with some of the broader research ideas he and I had been talking about, so I'm gonna keep him in the loop on that!

Up next: a meeting with my two undergraduate research interns. They're coadvised by my colleague who is flying research aircraft on the other side of the country right now so it's just the three of us. Due to holidays and conferences, this is actually the first time in 2023 we all managed to meet! We go over some paperwork to make sure they get college credit for this research. They're spinning their wheels a little bit but I had them shoot off a couple emails while I was there to start them getting their data ASAP. We then chatted about severe weather we'd all witnessed. One of the students mentioned she's been saving the candy from my office candy bowl for whenever she forgets to bring lunch to campus and now I'm realizing I should maybe get some protein bars or something for some variety.

All good stuff. There's a seminar in 15 minutes but it's a chemistry seminar so... I may just sneak home a bit early.

Tomorrow: no meetings (maaaybe one remote meeting), so work-from home! Should be able to get the last bit of coursework done for the week so I can start on my research to-do list.

[miodiodavinci]

omg i get so excited hearing about dnd!!!! how many campaigns have you been in if u mind answering?

i don't mind at all ! ! ! ! i enjoy talking about dnd ! ! ! ! our group got together in 2020 has run a total of (counts on fingers) 6 campaigns and 5 one shots, with our average campaign length being around 20 to 30 sessions. each person's taken a shot at DM'ing thus far, but the forever DM and i have both run about four of those each w

also, outside of one or two one shots, it's all been exclusively homebrew ! ! ! which is fun because we've all gotten to create our own regions and design overarching lore that connects each campaign to the other ! ! ! (surprisingly, hannus barbarous is usually the connecting factor. we did not plan this but that's just how it is now KJSFLKJH)

and because i love talking about dnd so much i'm taking this opportunity to dump a whole lot of summary of each campaign/one shot in chronological order under the cut w

ON A SCALE of ONE to TWENTY .. campaign

After being shut off from the world for over a hundred years, the region of Celosia finally opens its doors, sending out an open letter to all would-be adventurers asking for help. Our party just so happened to be the fools who decided to answer (and who got lucky enough to not get eaten by wolves on the way there), and have been tasked with taking down the shadowy Emerald Division that has seemingly come to power. They'll get to it as soon as they visit the dump (it's on the way).

Our DM's first homebrew campaign and the result of all of us being stuck inside and realizing we finally had time to play together w. This was the origin of both Hannus Barbarous as a running gag (along the lines of "this is JUST like Thomas and Jeremiah") and the name Scott as a throwaway bit, and also the origin of "The Coolest Emerald Division" title w

Characters

Roachcock the Tiefling Barbarian (played by me) .. bastard at heart, just wants to split heads, get coin, and buy a boat

Babey Möd the Halfling-Tabaxi Cleric (played by @anonprotagging) .. here to eat gravy and spread the good word of Lyra

The Storm the Water Genasi Barbarian .. he's super famous dude just trust me i heard he once fought like thirty turkeys

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan .. looking for her lost moms and also stealing this guy's boots hahaaa sick

Opus Whitfield the Human Wild Magic Sorcerer .. trying to use this opportunity to set up a new storefront for his family's gem cutting business, is actually using this opportunity to get bullied

note: i don't know if the other players use tumblr so for now they'll just be identified as "Xs player" from here on out w

GRANNY'S COUNTRY APPLE PIE .. one shot

An aging wizard wishes to taste the sweet delight of Granny's Country Apple Pie™ one last time (despite the bakery closing decades ago) and thus tasks our heroes with scoping out the place and seeing if they can find a recipe. Somewhere along the way, things got weird and it turns out Granny was just an immortal 65 year old who was taking a vacation in the outer planes with her wife but she's back now :)

Pre-built one shot that very quickly went off the rails, as to be expected for my very first go at being a DM after being a player for less than 4 months. The first appearance of Hannus as an actual character and not just a running bit.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. he's taking a break from his prestigious play writing career to see the sights and reconnect with the little piece of him that was shattered when his troupe broke apart (but not too much of a break not to sign every autograph he can eyyy)

Sir the Eternal Flame (and sorcerer i guess) (played by Opus's player) .. still frustrated at being locked in human form, this giant immortal moth is off doing busy work until his curse wears off (which apparently includes bakery heists???)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. with their giant bumblebee Spoobin and frankly obscene lack of dietary standards at their side, there's no meal that they can't tackle

THE OSSIFIED GARDENS .. mini campaign

Taking shelter from the rain in an unearthly structure, the gang is snatched away from the physical realm and into a crab bucket-like hotel for the fae. With their most prized possessions taken from them as an entry fee, the gang has to endure arduous tasks to receive the stamps of each of the five Managers in order to receive audience with the minor god who runs the establishment. Whether or not she'll be willing to give their possessions back, however...

My first solo campaign as a DM!! Heavily inspired by Spirited Away and mostly an excuse to put old game dev content to use (including a literal circus of NPCs), but ended up serving as an important event in the Hannus Barbarous lore.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and Bard (played by @anonprotagging) .. on the road with Tehn to visit a trinket faire in the next town over, about to experience beginning of a long and scalding beef with a petty minor god

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by the Celosia campaign DM) .. Hannus and Tehn are best friends now—they're having soft tacos later! :)

Piers the Minotaur Cleric (played by Opus's player) .. he's just along for the ride—maybe there will be cool books! :oooo

Tess the Halfling Rogue (played by In'hala's player) .. laying low until the folks in charge of her latest warrant lose track of her (and by laying low i mean just stealing at waist height instead of top shelves)

ROLL to PHOTOBOMB .. campaign

A seemingly normal winter festival goes astray when our heroes poor fools accidentally soul-bond to an extraplanar device meant to be a birthday present for the renowned sculptor hosting the ball (spoilers: it's a camera). They have four months to take it north to Cobalt City, get the re-calibration redone, and get it back in time for her wife to give it to her for their anniversary. The only problem is, the mountain pass is closed and the only other way there is a several hundred mile road trip by wagon...

Time to take some photos in front of some kitschy roadside attractions, I guess.

Opus's player's first time DM'ing for our group (though they'd DM'd before, and frankly—their experience shows). This campaign was home to some of our most beloved NPCs like Cassidy the subterranean super organism, Barry the extraplanar knife slime, and Sir the Eternal Flame Moth (he got that curse figured out finally!)

Characters

Fafnir of the Boreal North, the human knight Mimic Berserker (played by me) .. they just wanted to leave their dungeon to find a better, damper place to sit and eat and somehow accidentally took part in the funniest case of mistaken identity this side of Alcione

Ranger Rain Rainer the human Ranger (and literal park ranger, played by @anonprotagging) .. originally here to supervise the environmental impacts of the ball on the local landscape, now soul-bound to an extraplanar camera and havin' a good ol' time hangin' with the boys :) y'want some soy sauce with that? i bought a gallon back in brass junction

Kit the Elven Ranger (played by Tehn's player) .. legitimately so traumatized he wraps back around to being the most normal person in this group—just don't mention Celestine Grove

Babu the Hobgoblin Artificer (played by the Storm's player) .. having been separated from his parents and raised by Kobolds, Babu, his steel defender Babu, and his clockwork creation Little Babu are on a long journey to reunite with them in Grand Arbor .. please do not look at him he's sensitive

THE GREAT COCKATRICE RACE .. one shot

It's that time of year—the Great Cockatrice Race is upon us!! But just as our party is soaking in the sights and staking out the perfect spot to watch, they witness a young tiefling have his cockatrice's racing gear shredded by a local gang. Desperate to win so he can help pay to treat his father's worsening eyesight (they're cartographers by trade), he asks the party for help, and they quickly oblige.

Another one shot run by me, based loosely on a one-page campaign document. Not much to say about this one beyond the fact that everyone was ready to kill for Noodles the bantam cockatrice.

Characters

Actias Saturnid the Aasimar Paladin (played by @anonprotagging) .. on a quest to popularize his deity's chosen form of entertainment—tinker vision (TV for short)

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. here to have fun and maybe also look for his friend that went missing have you seen her please tell me i miss her ;_____;

Kai the ??? Swashbuckling Rogue (played by Opus's player) .. it's a big festival, and that means plenty of eyes and plenty of cash! not a half bad time to try negotiating some new patrons for her artist friends

TROUBLE at PORT MANDRET .. one shot

What was originally supposed to be the 58th annual showcase of Umbergate University's horticultural collection is turned sour as an incensed former professor unleashes a powerful awakening spell on the entire town. With only a few hours before the plants release spores that will spread the spell to the entire world, our party has to act fast and cooperate with a local mycologist who seems to know just the fix to this predicament.

Another one shot from me, this time entirely homebrewed! This is also the origin of Scott as a character and not just a throwaway bit, and very much the source of his dynamic with Hannie. They found him tangled up in a bunch of kudzu in a coffee shop and he sent them on a long fetch quest to help him make a cup of coffee using stolen coffee beans.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous the Half-Orc playwright and bard (you know his player by now w) .. you know, he was just trying to lay low after the whole "committing arson" thing, but now he has a gay little mushroom twink to look after and that's (????)

Tehn the Sun Elf Ranger (played by you know who w).. also laying low after helping Hannus commit arson, but mostly here to eat a bunch of plants when no one's looking

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's a goose who only says "HANK" and i love that so much about him

Quinn the literal, unawakened, plain old animal tiger and Rogue (played by the Storm's player) .. the reason Hannus and Tehn committed arson after discovering she was being kept in squalid conditions by a wealthy family .. i cannot stress enough that she is a literal, un-enchanted tiger

THE ENIGMA of DAHL CREEK .. campaign

Their boat having sank in a storm, the party washes up on a seemingly once populous island now drowning under webs of unidentifiable blue-green vines and the eerily human-like shapes it creates. Working to unravel the mystery of how the entire town disappeared one August day, they find the past and present blurring together in a strange and haunting way.

The Celosia campaign DM's next big campaign, and frankly the one that haunts me most to this day. I cannot put into words how fucking good this campaign was. Legitimately gave me chills and occupies a region of my brain that cannot be vacated.

Characters

Hannus Barbarous (you know him) .. just trying to recover from the fae thing and the tiger incident and then the Port Mandret fiasco and really doesn't need this right now (but deal he will)

Biscott Cortinarius the human mycologist and Necromancer (played by me) .. putting a little distance between himself and the university due to the ""legal ramifications of interviewing university property without familial consent,"" but mostly sticking with Hannus because he's a bard and... well... bards aren't exactly beefy are they ;)

The Destitution of Mires the Lizardfolk Circle of Spores Druid (played by the Storm's Player) .. to this day i still don't know what their deal was, only that they sensed and so they came, and they left just as easily

Theo the ??? Circle of Dreams Druid (played by Opus's player) .. wanted to get out there and see the world, managed to sneak onto the one and Only boat that shipwrecked that day, now paying for it dearly

TIDECLEFT ISLES .. campaign

When the great Captain Wicke died, he arranged in his will that his treasure was to be given to the pirates of Tidecleft—so long as they could find it. Having arranged a massive, death-defying posthumous treasure hunt, several teams (including our heroes) must now compete to locate Wicke's treasure if they want to claim it all for themselves. What the late captain has in store for them, however, may call the worth of the treasure into question.

The Storm's player's first time DM'ing for our group, but not his first time DM'ing by far (read: he was Tehn's player's forever DM long before he came to our group). This was a grand old romp around a bunch of islands and sea caves that culminated in a frankly off-the-walls batshit final battle.

Characters

Acanthus of the Western Isles, the Mano (shark man) Scholar (played by me) .. a doctor and academic seeking to pay off a massive debt he incurred thanks to the Silver Lampreys and their web of loan sharks .. he doesn't care for jokes... or laughing, or puns, or metaphorical language or

Lemon the Warforged Circle of Stars Druid (played by @anonprotagging) .. realized she's accrued like twenty years in paid time off from working as a docent in an observatory, now taking her first vacation with her best friend Owen Gnome :) (he's a garden gnome she found outside and decided to keep in her pocket) (may or may not be venomous)

Bellamy the ??? ??? (played by Opus's player) .. ever grateful to the squid trawlers that took him in, he's competing in this hunt to earn enough to turn their venture into a franchise .. he is shockingly normal despite the whole "may not be from this plane" thing

Rayin the Tiefling Storm Sorcerer (played by Tehn's player) .. having received that sweet sweet "got hit by a magical explosion on campus" money and gotten magical powers out of it, Rayin is ditching academia to do COOL things like throw lightning bolts and meow at people

these character descriptors are getting long sorry

MIETTE SIMULATOR .. one shot

Somehow, our band of unfortunate souls has wandered into a town caught in a frenzy, raving for the execution of a seemingly normal tiefling man for an unspeakable crime (literally, no one will say what it was). The gang decides to get to the bottom of this, only to discover the very laws of reality are essentially optional in this neck of the woods.

Hannus's player's first time DM'ing as a dry run for his future one shot, and it was a hoot. Also the first time we got to meet Ranger Rainer's brother, Shine Rainer (who is the polar opposite of his brother thanks to all the trauma that comes with being a record keeper).

Characters

Lark the Aasimar Gunslinger (played by me) .. just trying to do as many good deeds as possible to get her dad off her back so she can get a girlfriend without him scaring her off with his whole "incomprehensible being of holy light" thing

Clare the human ??? (played by Tehn's player) .. i don't remember why she was there she just was and she was probably the most okay with everything that was going on

Hank the Aarakocra Barbarian (played by Opus's player) .. he's playing it cool after the Port Mandret thing, except this is not cool this is chaos

MOON TOWN .. one shot

It's Actias! And he needs help! For some reason, they've been disconnected from their god, and they can't figure out why! When our heroes decide to help, they end up getting snatched away to an otherworldly version of the long abandoned Sun Town and need to solve the mystery of a long cold case in order to find their way back home.

Hannus's player's main group DM'ing debut. Full of fun puzzles and good laughs (I'll never forget Actias asking us for help with a puzzle and showing us one of those shapes and holes boxes you give to kids) with plenty of throwbacks to old running gags. Felt like a nice homage to what DnD had been for us thus far.

Characters

Calamund Galbraith the Reborn Echo Fighter (played by me) .. a completely average guy who just so happened to get roped into getting "engaged" to a wraith that now endlessly pursues him .. he just really wants to go home and eat soup with his birds

Squish the Changeling Bard (played by Tehn's player) .. really worried for his good friend Actias :(

Tiel Alleywollow the Halfling Warlock (played by the Storm's player) .. a girl of few words (literally, she only speaks when casting spells) and eternally fond of her fiendish patron, an asshole imp named Dition

In'hala the Tiefling Paladin of Pan (played by the same guy as before w) .. hit her head on a ship and somehow ended up far, far south of Celosia. who knows what happened? certainly not in'hala, but EYYY SHE STILL HAS THE SICK BOOTS YEAAA

Teller Artax the Warforged Gunslinger (played by Opus's player) .. originally out to hunt down his lost creator, but got sidetracked, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack, and then got sidetracked from that sidetrack's sidetrack, and then

THE CURIOUS CASE of ACTON RIDGE .. campaign

50 years before the events of Dahl Creek, a similar event is taking place—after a shoot out in the canyon, the town of Acton Ridge is also carpeted in strange, blue-green vines and locked in time. Our heroes must unravel the mystery of their pasts and the two intertwined fates of a pair of brilliant inventors who were seemingly on the hunt for something not of this world. Ongoing!

The Celosia DM's latest campaign and prequel to Dahl Creek. A little different vibes from the last one considering most of us apparently lived here before things went to shit, and many of us have tie-ins with the events taking place. Cool, eerie mystery fun ! ! !

Characters

Outis the Warforged Paladin (played by me) .. an archaic tour guide emissary from the Feywilds who's trapped on an endless journey towards an unseen destination .. it's sassy as hell and just the right amount of british to be infuriating

Emeril the Sea Elf chef and Fighter (played by @anonprotagging) .. retired from being a soldier and running from his past to owning a small tavern (and running from his past) .. very blunt (like his cast iron frying pan)

Spinifer the ??? Bard and travel-book writer (played by Opus's player) .. looking for the scoop on the local scene in hopes of bringing more folks over from her homeland .. common isn't her first language and she delights in learning cool new words, like "paranormal" and "clusterfuck"

Phira the Deep Gnome Monster Hunter (played by the Storm's player) .. haunted by her past and now interested in that which is haunted, this little conspiracy theorist is going to get to the bottom of this mystery if it's the last thing she does (but not actually—she'd like to live you know)

[synonymouswithanonymous]

just for fun!

Thoughts, opinions, and a just for fun timeline. Google and a couple tumblr rabbit holes later....disclaimer lots of rumors with receipts for rumors.

I too find it weird that the same people talking about Johanne used to describe MK, Rikke, and Fanny the same exact way. Down to the same wording. Except they used to go after MK'S tattoos like they're a bad thing. People were awful about her, and the rest. Now Johanne and his family and friends are getting it too.

Now they act like a friendship, spanning 7 years, is something "more"  bc he likes her posts. Lol I bet he likes a lot of people's/friends posts, guys and girls. Probably a lot of private accounts too bc a lot of his friends went private bc people kept posting his friends' videos and pics. I don't understand why he can't like any of the accounts he follows without it causing a stir. Lol liking a post isn't a big deal lol. People can be friends, it's not like he doesn't have TON of female friends lol. I doubt he's still pining for her, and probably hasn't for a long long time.

It's not like he hasn't dated since or before (Olivia who rejected him supposedly 2017).

And he's older now and probably has sown his wild oats and wants to settle down with the woman he loves (Johanne). And I think, personal opinion, that now he has someone who matches him, loves him as he is, and let's him be just who he is. All goofy funny husky puppy energy Alex. That's great imo.

Busy boy in 2018.😂😂😃😃 he was young.

Short timeline with receipts:

Threesome rumors:

Jan 13-14 2018

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

/

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

/

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Freyvar 🥀 (Alicia & Alex fans) (@ivarfreydis)

/

People were also posting about topless photos of Gee with Alex. They're deleted now.

· Mar 9, 2018When she finally responds to your desperate love letter text that you know she opened 35 min.… twitter (while in England)

Strange tea about Alex, take with grain of salt etc

May 17 '18#1310

"Does anyone follow Alex H. on instagram? His story yesterday so much cringe, or the hashtag #phatasswhitegirl = Alicia A.  :eyeroll: she's the white girl that has fame for being a white girl with a big ass after that scene with Ivar, trying to get her attention alluding her? she's way out of your league, kid."

"He is a creep, he follows her even on spotify when she goes under a secret username but she doesn't follow him back :rofl: smart girl."

Lipstick alley source (I google alex hogh gee hirst threesome and it popped up, the above links. And quote/gossip came from there.)

May 29, 2018 the weekend/pics he took of MK were posted. Cryptic post from her around this timeframe.

Jun 17, 2018 alex hogh with rikke westi red carpet its official twitter:

"Alex Høgh with Rikke Westi via alexhoeghandersen: "Rikke has always been too cool for school, but now it’s official. Watch out. She’s special. Huge congratulations my friend"

August 20th, 2018, Anonymous asked:

"What kind of relationship is there between Alex Høgh Andersen and Mary Kate Slattery???"

"As far as I know they are friends. For a hot minute I thought there might be something but that passed"

So they stayed friends it seems. Maybe they just realized they're better as friends? Maybe the rejection was mutual after all? Maybe he wasn't trying to be serious, just seeing how it goes? Or vice versa we will never know. Good for them. That's mature to stay friends. 😊 Her boyfriend type seems different from Alex. Not a bad thing to each their own.

Late 2018-2020 he dated a few others, one I think named Kaja? I've researched enough for a day. 😆 😆  there were blondes and brunettes, several women, one at the Zulu awards. One sitting on his lap at distortion which was posted on tumblr May 30, 2019 (edited to fix date).

That twitter/x post and IG posts don't seem to be focused so much on privacy. As some claim he's all about, I've always thought he was only private when he wanted to be. That's his choice. 😊😊 So I'm still not getting how Johanne ever "violated" his privacy.

So MK only likes his RC posts/posts that have Johanne in them. That's sweet she probably LIKES Johanne too. She's probably happy for her friend.

Seems like what friends do to me! Like posts and Support each other and be happy for each other. 😊😊😊

Another long post, but as ever don't expect it to be read. Just want to say what I want to say. 😊😊😊

PS I don't think it's weird that he's dated around before finding someone serious. You gotta shop around, see how the "clothes" fit before you buy them. Dating is what people do before they find their match. You gotta figure out what you like/want/need and what you don't like/want/need.😃

[dreadreflection-if]

How would I react if the next time they meet the mc they see that mc is wearing necklace with an engagement ring in it? (And if they didn't already know it was for them before they died, how would they react if when they ask about it mc just smile sadly and say "i mean, they're back now but i don't know if it's a good idea anymore... I love them, i really do, but i don't want to get my hopes up just to be hurt again..."

😭😭😭

I’m going to do the version where I doesn’t know it’s for them. The first one is… Actual Spoilers.🤐 Also, I’m assuming they both had unresolved feelings before The Incident.

Sorry this one took a bit longer, it kind of got out of hand… as you can see.😅 I need to work on cutting down on the set-up in the future… And maybe have longer ones like this be a once in a while thing. Hope you don’t mind the length, anon.😣

I’ll put it under a read more because, try as I might, there’s still gonna be some spoilery details. I just be like that.🤷‍♀️

———

As you both sit within the dim lighting of your cramped room, huddled together between stacks of tomes and papers, I stares at you.

They’re supposed to be helping you prepare for the next case in your letter by searching the records hemming you in, but at some point I glanced over to ask you a question and realized they couldn’t look away.

They’ve noticed that happening a lot, since you found each other again.

It’s because you’re different from how they remember. Not drastically - they can tell it hasn’t been that long since your parting - but it’s like coming back to a place you call home and realizing that it’s changed in your absence; that time didn’t stop turning while you were gone.

It’s these changes that draw I’s gaze. Freckles on spots where there used to be none. A ring hanging from a chain round your neck. Faint scars cutting across your skin, never fully healed. A ring hanging from a chain round your neck. Weariness in your eyes that was not there when they left you.

A ring hanging from a chain round your neck.

If they still had any breath to draw, they think it would have died on their lips.

It’s not one they recognize from your years together: it’s too pristine, and worth more than even your families would normally spend. Whoever the accessory belongs to, they must have spent a small fortune. They must also mean a great deal to you - why else would you keep their engagement ring so close to your heart?

Of course, whispers a small voice in their mind. You are always too late. Too late to save them. Too late to keep them. Too late, too late, too late -

“You’re staring, I.”

They startle, blinking as they are yanked out of their spiraling thoughts. You’ve turned from the book you were flipping through and are now studying them instead. They hate that they can’t read the look on your face. They always used to know what you were thinking.

…Would the owner of that ring know what was in your mind right now?

“Sorry,” they manage to breathe out past the lump in their throat. “I wasn’t aware.”

You give them a small smile, eyes still filled with that strange mix of emotions they can’t define. Slowly, as if approaching a wild animal, you reach over and lay your hand on top of theirs. The warmth from your touch is still alien to them after so long apart, and they feel their fingers twitch in surprise. Idly, they wonder what the contact feels like to you - can you even sense anything underneath your palm?

“Something’s troubling you,” you say after a few moments. It’s a statement, not a question. I tries not to grimace, but they can tell their mouth still pulls into a frown.

“Not at all!” they reply, too quickly. They’re sure a blush is forming on their face as they try again. “It’s - it’s nothing. I’m fine.”

You hum in acknowledgement, but you also don’t stop staring, which means you aren’t convinced. If this were the past, I would have kept insisting they were alright - that there was nothing for you to worry about.

If this were the past, they would have avoided the subject and ran away.

Look where that got them, though: sitting on a floor they barely feel beneath them while you proudly wear a token of someone else’s affection. So even though they can’t move their gaze from your joined hands, they still find the courage to ask their next question.

“That ring…” they begin, clenching the hand you don’t hold when they feel you stiffen. “Is it - I mean, uh, whose - who does it belong to?”

You’re quiet for so long that the air becomes stifling. Congratulations, I, the voice in their mind snarks. You just had to be nosy. They’ll never talk to you again.

Before they can fully panic, you finally reply. “It’s mine,” you say with a carefully neutral voice. “I bought it for someone, but - “ A pause. “ - well, they never got it, as you can see.” I hates the self-deprecating laugh that accompanies the last part.

They wish they were brave enough to see what face you make. An uncomfortable silence follows your confession, and I searches for the words to soothe you. What do they even say? ‘I’m sorry?’ ‘Their loss?’

‘Choose me instead’, supplies their traitorous mind, but they squash that thought before it hurts the both of you.

“I see,” is all they manage, and if they knew how they would disappear right then and there.

“I could always give it to them now, I suppose…,” you continue, running your thumb over the ring’s surface, “but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. Getting my hopes up… would probably just hurt me again.” The hand still resting on I’s trembles.

I bites their lip, swallowing down the words that threaten to spill out - let me keep it, and I’ll make sure you never suffer again. A surefire way to destroy your rekindled friendship. Instead, they look at you and earnestly say, “They - they would be foolish not to accept it… whoever they are.”

The words taste bitter on their tongue, but the gentle smile that blooms on your face is worth the acridity.

“Thank you, I.” They watch your gaze become wistful as it turns to the hands still joined between you. “Maybe in the future, then.”

If they still had a heart to break, they think it would have shattered at that moment. Silently - selfishly - they send a prayer to Ezra, though it fills them with guilt and self-loathing.

A prayer that the future you hope for arrives long after they are gone.

[sailingshellsgames]

hey author! i just have a few simple lore questions to ask, i hope you don't mind.

does everyone in the leas universe have magical abilities? if so, it doesn't necessarily mean everyone uses magic? (for example, rin has magic but chooses not to use it, if i'm not mistaken)

are there kings and queens in this universe? even if they won't be real characters in the story, is there some sort of royalty in leas or any other city? i know we have nobles and lords, such as wren and virano, so far.

how do relationships with people from two different cities work, specifically between leas and delusin? i'm sure it's not a big deal but it was mentioned that a treaty between the two cities were made so is it difficult to get settled in that sense? is it looked down upon? etc.

this isn't a lore question but what inspired you to make this game? it's so creative and interesting and even the names of things and the way you describe them is out of this world, i wanted to know where you got these ideas from?

thank you so much for answering and have a great day/night! ❤️

Hi Anon!

I'm more than happy to answer, and thank you for asking such fun questions! I hope you won't mind how long my answers are❣️ And I hope you have a great day/night as well!

Everyone in the universe has the ability to do magic, yes! Which mostly stems from me reading books as a kid where only special people had magic and thinking 'that's so unfair!' 😂 How good someone's magic is is a lot like how good someone's ability to learn a new language is in our world - there's natural talent, but it also matters how much you practice/study.

There are no kings/queens! Each city's a little different but the basic structure is that a group of people form a city's Council, and they're the ones "in charge." The Council is a mix of the leaders of the city's various communities, which lends itself to a mix of both nobles and non-nobles. I'm hoping to put more about this into the game itself, later on.

It's a little difficult to have a relationship with someone from another city mainly because travel between cities is so dangerous most people never do it 😅 The exceptions to this are diplomats, nobles, and some merchants. And Den agents, of course 😉 Marriage is one of the few ways a regular person could wind up in another city. Someone meets a visiting merchant, say, and falls in love with them and the couple picks a city to settle down in. It's also much easier to get travel papers to return to a city you were born in, if for whatever reason you managed to leave it and want to go back. Inter-city marriages aren't looked down on, but people do recognize those relationships are challenging. Leas has a very communal culture, so someone moving from another city could expect a lot of support from their neighbors upon arriving, in most cases. As far as Leas-Dalusin relationships, take everything above and make it a little easier, lol. There are more regular trade caravans and slightly safer routes between the cities.

As for the final question, first of all thank you, that's so kind of you to say! My initial reaction to this was "idk I just daydream it up and if I hit a plot hole I bang my head against it until I figure it out?" 😂 (That one option in ch 7 of "no I can just think harder! My brain is a hammer and everything can be a nail 😃" is literally just a self-roast 🤣) But giving it more thought, I think it's just that I love things that are wild and weird and beautiful, so I wanted to write about the Fey. For naming things: I tend to favor the letters V, K, L and vowels for names in Leas. I throw in a lot of A's in Fey language and try to let the sounds feel rhythmic/musical (at least by my perception). I deviate from those general rules constantly because there are only so many letters/syllables in English and eventually you realize "I've spent 3 hours trying to name this character I need to get back to actually writing." 🤣 But I try to roughly stick to those rules.

Thank you so much for your ask!

[leannbolesch]

Divine Rivals (3.25 stars)

Just crossed my mind that I can do these here.

This book was super hyped, and since learning it was a BookTok darling, I understand why my reading experience did not live up to my expectations.

I can't think of anything particular that really wowed me or that really put me off. I neither liked nor disliked the protagonist, but rather found her somewhat bland. She wasn't flat. Her personality just didn't click for me. A lot of who she is at the start of her story is wrapped up in her family struggles and while I do like a character who's motivated by past family trauma, I find things like loved one away at war and fate unknown or parent struggling with alcoholism tedious to read about as it happens. Apparently, the inclusion of Roman as a second POV was added to later drafts and I'm glad for that. Even if it was narratively unnecessary, he was just a more entertaining character for me

I liked the time period aesthetic and the way in which the author built up exposition about the gods, but I feel like more needed to be explained about the war for it to be included in the plot in the way that it was. More detail about the war itself. More detail about the gods powers and how they were waging the war. The characters, despite being paid to report objectively on what's happening, mostly exist at the periphery of the conflict. I got way too far in before realizing this was standard trench warfare (with one side also using demons as a magic stand in for bomber planes) and not the more classic magic battle I'd expected from a war between gods in a world filled with wild magic.

The romance was okay. It is, as the title might suggest, rivals to lovers, although it felt a little weak on that aspect because Iris starts the book already making efforts to befriend Roman and Roman knows for most of their rivalry about all her intimate thoughts due to him saving her letters. As is typical of a romance fantasy (think power fantasy but for romance, rather than the genre with elves) the male love interest becomes a little too devoted a little too quickly, to the point that other personality traits get eclipsed so he can spend more page space being in love and devoted. The development wasn't too clunky otherwise. The two are given some believable moments and interactions to bring them together.

If I see the sequel sitting out at my library, I'll probably grab it. This book was an okay use of my time. The writing style was nice and easy to read. I didn't fall in love with it and I've got enough else to read about, so I don't see myself going out of the way to find the next book in the near future, despite it already being out. In fact, a day out from reading it I thought "Later this year" and two weeks out I feel more like "If I never get around to it then oh well."

I usually grab a bunch of books before taking a vacation. Maybe as a matter of recency bias, I'll pick up the sequel to read on a plane or something.

[penguinandlasagna]

A Shitshow.

I'm learning to produce music, something I've dreamed of doing since I started high school. I've come to the realization that my laptop has strange pop ups and apps that I couldn't seem to get rid of. I formatted my laptop and completely erased ALL of my data, and am typing on it as I speak because I'm waiting for a few downloads to go on. It is currently 6:30 AM, I have NOT slept a wink and I would very much love to any minute now. I could totally use a cigarette right now but I quit smoking last year. My vape on the other hand is too far away lol. I tried to log into Netflix and it worked. Hooray. I then try Disney Plus because I like it and it has Criminal Minds and... Disney movies. Anyways. I forgot my passcode. For context, I have one main passcode that I use on a daily basis. I then have multiple variations of it, like adding special characters or capitalizing one letter to fit into the passcode standards. I have another one, that I use if a website I'm making an account for has some stupid niche passcode standards. I TRIED EVERYTHING AND NONE WORKED AND NOW IT WON'T EVEN ACCEPT MY FUCKING EMAIL.

I'm definitely gonna go drinking after this.

So I've been meaning to get Valorant bc a lot of my friends have been begging me to get it. Mind you, I don't have any Windows products because I'm most comfortable with Apple products despite their stupidly high price. I went through SO MANY FUCKING ISSUES, got logged into my Riot account (which took fucking forever?) and pressed download for Valorant, only for it to tell me to go fuck myself because Valorant is only playable on PCs.

On the other hand, downloading League of Legends was no issue, but I've only recently started playing it and on Wild Rift. I just hope it's not too different.

I've come to the conclusion that once I start living alone and graduate uni, I'll simply buy a functioning Windows PC and everything I need. I'll be able to play Valorant and maybe the Sims. I don't know. Now as I type this, my laptop is seriously lagging out now, I'm assuming my software update is ready, but shit. Who knows? All I know is that once I let my laptop restart, I'm gonna hit the fucking sheets.

[helgapatakii]

I'm collecting letters people write when they leave/move away from New Orleans. It is almost always transplants. Nothing is more polarizing than calling someone a transplant, its an instant test to see how secure someone is. Why is New Orleans the place people claim to be from but aren't? They get mad when I ask specifics about their time here "well, I didn't got to school here but I've been here X years." If I lived in Paris for 15 years as an adult I'd never said "I'm from Paris" when asked. Why are transplants so sensitive? is it because they find their title derogatory? The other night at a bar a woman came up to me unsolicited, I was there to hang with my friend who was bartending, which I told her. She continued to talk, which was fine for a bit because we laughed over some shared observations at the bar but it became annoying quickly. As soon as I realized this woman had no interest in having a conversation as she much as she had an interest in talking I gave up deep engagement. I figured she'd tire herself out and walk away. I unsolicited heard the story of her life in New Orleans. The other thing that set off alarms in the first few minutes of our conversation is she mentioned "I'm sure you can hear my accent" I couldn't. I told her she sounded like Rachel Green to me. Then I noticed a distinct switch and I joked she was "laying it on" after that point. It was a EUROPEAN accent and she had moments before told me she was from Nebraska or "wild Wild West" as she referred to it. She spent some time making fun of the mid-west and Nebraska for being boring. I decided to join in as I love making fun of places I've never been "What even is in Nebraska? I am not going there!" Her tone suddenly switched to a much more defensive one, "well Nebraska and New Orleans have a lot in common and are very similar." She cited the LOUISIANA PURCHASE. You know, that historic event in 1803? Nebraska was a part of Louisiana for about 60 years. Apparently that was enough time for all things NOLA to make their way up river. She kept saying "the river! the river connects us! We are the same!" Which really irked me so when she for the second time referred to coming to New Orleans on a freight train I teased "coming here on a freight train does not make you anymore interesting to me or any less a gentrifier" This is when the convo really started to turn of course, she was finally listening to a voice besides her own and detected that maybe, just maybe, there are humans on the earth who do not want to hear the story of her gutter punk upbringing. She came her 2 years after Katrina, I pointed out this was the worst wave of people because they came in when our city was most vulnerable and diluted what we had left of our culture. she didn't like that either. She began to make her exit "You know I don't share my life story easily, this is very personal." To which I responded as she was standing up "Yeah, your life story is a VERY personal and vulnerable thing to share with someone because you never know who you are talking to or how they may react."

She walked away. Sheesh.

[ram-de]

[Read] Leonard Peacock

why do i keep picking up books that suspiciously and somehow make me relate to the characters... i could never understand. (<- i'm not special ok i get it) TO PREFACE i don't relate with all the topics relating to... uh. world war 2... and the... holocaust... and what leo thought and stuff like that.

tw/ sui thoughts and abuse (lots of kinds) and and stuff... that is because the fiction deals with lots of delicate topics. premise is. today's leonard peacock's birthday, he's going to unalive himself but wanted to give send-off gifts before he, yea.

when i started, i don't like, i don't know what i expected. i thought it'd be like... something like as he send the gift, he'll realize there's more to life, something about changing his mind, and yea. and honestly, it does go something sort of like that.

four gifts he prepared. one. to his elderly chainsmoking neighbour widower... they bond over watching Bogart's movies (i don't know what they're about. Something about war-films...?). leo and this guy walt could talk just using quotes from the movies alone. there it is, the first gift. a hat.

second gift is prepared to the guy he sort of tolerated and that tolerates him. a guy who he stood up for, playing violin. each day he watches this guy baback plays the violin and it's!! what i felt like the remain semblance of what friend is to him. though the gift he prepared ended up offending him. it's a six-figure check.

third gift is for his teacher herr silverman that taught the class about holocaust. it's sort of a ...? for me because at most in out country, it's only mentioned. but in the states it's a whole subject required to be taught. basically. the gift is the medal of the medal of leo's nazi-grandpa...

and the last gift... is the gun itself. clocking a bullet to the guy called asher. i think i realized how rusty i am in conveying my thoughts... i haven't written my thoughts in A VERY LONG TIME.. ANYWAY. the gift is the gun itself, right. who ended up not being used because he hesitated because of a memory. a memory of leo and asher that used to be so close, so free, and so... happy!! until asher was abused by his uncle... and the story depict that it impacted him into somehow becoming an abuser to leo. messing leo's mind and whole life, basically. because he felt broken. he felt hollow. a void. to which leo told this to herr silverman after a nerve-wracking confrontation before he pulled the trigger. (i should've used Herr with a capital H because it's german and capitalization matters but alas). whatever happened to his mother is basically messed up because although leo clinged to that very last glimmer of hope, it just... it just doesn't work out.

things aren't going to be okay. not all of it are going to be. whatever happened may seem small in the grand scheme of things. so just take it slow, see for another day to be better? kind of message i sort of get.

;; my goodness... anyway... what am i writing. OKAY. okay... what i thought is that. the depiction of how inner thoughts can be so scary... and... damn my mind is all over the place. uh... what i needed to say. it's so unnervingly cutting it close to home a bit. i know it's a fictional story and there needs to be tension and stuff. the gift that symbolises how he clings onto the hope that it will somehow... make his day a bit better. he recollects memories of how things go wrong. wondering what-ifs... and. let's just say i cried just few chapters in. because. leo is so honest and stubborn and lost and just so defeated. like... how eleanor oliphant is after... the whole thing.

the ending... i... the ending is a bit abrupt. and ngl i thought leo snapped when his mom couldn't do the one thing she could as a mom, granting the wish, and just giving him the tiniest droplet of hope. but then it ends with a letter from the future, a what-if future that leo wrote. i really thought he sort of went wild, but the letter give that semblance of... hope. naive. naive hope of things going better. but enough. enough for him to cling. distinguishing those he could trust (walt, (possibly herr silverman? who i thought had a bit of a kinda ??? comment at the end. idk he just did his part as a teacher but lowkey why do i get the feeling he sort of blames??? the kid??? in a panicked state??? and disregarded leo's fear of contacting his mother??? who he said wasn't going to listen??? she didn't listen. though he must've been super stressed after trying to dearm and calm a very... dangerous... hurt... kid... that attempted murder before. so i'll let it slide herr silverman >_> ))

overall... i feel like... it gave me the aching kind of pain. i don't usually read stuff that's so grounded like this. kinda edgy sharp too. and perhaps a bit angsty. with a sputter of dark and dry humour. please be well leonard peacock...!

Adding this this after I read my very messy review. One thing I love is how poignant and hopeful it can seem, although the overall theme is bleak. Leo's desperation to find reason, just simple reason that makes it worth it to reach adulthood and become a part of society... It just so honest... And then the letters he wrote to himself, convincing him of a future, where he too can be happy and settle in life. The talk with his favorite teacher assuring Leo of his own worth. I'm not s/dal per se. I cried a lot reading this book. It's not that thick. But I felt for Leo. For his world, and how it failed him.

--------------

would i read this... perhaps when i'm in a rather good place next time. I NEED TO READ ARI&DANTE SEQUEL NOW... for fluff reasons although i knew very well they're going to break up.

/// i'm going off topic.

I actually read several other titles like Luc and Oliver's in the pretend-boyfie operation THAT BLOOMS INTO THE REAL ONE. i like it. love love these tropes. enemies (maybe not enemies but like rivals) to lovers too. inject it to my veins. CUTE. CUTE. CUTE STUFF.... also i've peeked a bit of Alex and Henry's in the also... pretend-to-be-on-the-good-terms diplomatic relationship THAT SOMEHOW BLOOMS INTO REAL (AND BETTER) ONE?!?!?. i like it. love these tropes. idk about american politics and how the voting goes there but IDC. enemies (maybe not really, rather one-sided) to lovers too. INJECT IT TO MY VEINS. CUTE. CUTE. love the realization. i love me some tropes. i also read Rafe and Ben's very... agonizing end of the first book in how their relationship ending in confusion and hurt and angst. peeked the sequel of a love triangle with a girl thrown in (i did not quite like this trope) so i skimmed and haven't continued yet.

[cantalooprat]

Lovely Allergen

What I Liked

the vaguely moumou-like atmosphere it has, i think it's a mix of the way the setting is described---the details of the song household, their school, the smattering of friends, lin rong's restaurant, cotton candy and orange...it just sketches out this very vivid picture of their daily life and how it shaped song yu and yue shizhi into who they are, and i rly liked that! it makes the whole story feel more alive

the food descriptions!!!!! reading this in the middle of the night is like... dang im getting hungry just reading abt it!! war flashbacks to kdrama eating scenes!!!

as usual, i have to mention the ad ost lmao all 3 seasons have such lovely theme songs

song yu with the tags slapped onto him: "cold love interest" "doting love interest" "devoted love interest"

yue zhishi: "cute protagonist" "weak protagonist"

but also they're such a deep, interesting spin on the whole "cute/weak shou" and "cold doting gong" archetype, zhichu rly rly rly writes so well, i felt it even from yybl (but also both translators for yybl n kagmy r both rly rly good as well, which contributes a lot to the reading experience). the way song yu is so cold and detached not just bc "his personality is like that" but bc he has to repress his feelings for yue zhishi, and how he's even losing sleep over it, but he won't ever say anything out loud bc he knows it's wrong... how yue zhishi is so so dependent on him, oblivious to his own feelings, how the initiative has to come from yue zhishi and yet song yu takes it upon himself to be responsible for "leading his little brother astray" but also yue zhishi won't let him take that responsibility alone!! the way i wanted them to be happy because both of them really deserve that happiness... sigh

there r just so many small moments that it's hard to describe in one piece. song yu and yue zhishi's relationship is built upon all of these small moments glittering like stardust, gathered up inside a crystal clear bottle. when exactly did they fall in love? these two probably don't even know it themselves, but before they realized it, the crystal bottle has been filled with so much glittering stardust, their precious memories etched on each fragment

the cute au where they meet for the first time but have long since fallen in love w each other from exchanging their letters, very wholesome very cute i even love its placement (2 chapters right before the very last extra) and how it ties in to the last extra... sigh again

i cried at the letter song yu wrote actually that entire sequence of them coming out to the parents broke my heart

the car scenes how can i not mention the car scenes, zhichu car scenes r absolutely 😔👌

as a whole, zhichu also writes with this... sort of hopeful tone. like, her version of reality is a very very gentle and hopeful one. she doesn't outright gloss over gay relationship as "gay marriage is legal now for plot convenience reasons" but she also treats it as like, something people will eventually accept. her books are honestly just very gentle and warm (even though kagmy has like this melancholic undertone throughout the text, which can't be avoided but also makes it a p heavy read despite the deceptive "slice of life childhood friend romance" plot)

also also that quote on the s3 ad banner art which is also a spoiler to the last sentence of the main story, which is also the reference of s1 theme song title...

What I Disliked

mmh not quite dislike and also i understand why it's like that but like... the slow burn truly was slow, like glacially slow until they confessed n then things went Wild

Notes

ngl part of the reason why i started kagmy is to use this absolutely gorgeous banner art from ad s3

tbh zhichu novels r always kinda heavy lmao she mentioned it too though, how there isn't a "sweet" tag bc it's not supposed to be a smooth-sailing fluffy novel

[draconym]

hey, i was just curious and you don't have to answer but is there a debate over naming ambassador animals? i work at a small zoo and all of our collection animals from bears down to insects are named, which is something i hadn't questioned before i saw you mention it in your post. is that an uncommon or contentious thing?

Oh yeah! I actually really like the debate, and I think it's great to be thoughtful about this topic. A lot of nature centers and zoos don't name their ambassador animals because they want to make a strong distinction between an animal that is a pet and a rehabilitated/captive wild animal that has been tamed or trained to interact with humans.

There's value to this perspective, I think! Most of us feel fascination and awe when we see an unfamiliar animal up close, and for some of us this translates into the desire to see the animal as a potential pet. (I sympathize!) But it's important for both safety and ecological reasons that we remember wild animals, even tame ones, aren't the same as domesticated pets. Many of them require training just to handle. Most of them cannot thrive in captivity without very special accommodations, and they're valuable members of the ecosystem that should remain in their natural habitat.

When introducing an unnamed animal ambassador, naturalists and caretakers are hoping to make the connection between this animal and its wild cousins, and send a message that the animal is not and cannot be a pet. An owl, for example, doesn't connect with us the way a dog would, and we can't connect with it that way, either--and to attempt to treat it the way we would treat a pet can actually be unsafe.

When it comes to my park's snakes, though, I want people to connect with the individual. I want folks who are afraid of snakes to realize, hey! This is just a critter with thoughts and feelings in its little head. It has a personal story and an environmental niche and I don't need to murder it if I see it in my yard.

I found a lengthy paper about this for your enjoyment! See page 93 for a series of letters from education centers with different perspectives on why they do or do not name their ambassador raptors. I think there is a lot to be gained from considering both perspectives.