#It doesn't mask pain its just a preventative

[isthehorsevideocute]

Me *drawing up adequan from a tiny 5ml vial from a 7 dose box*: Adequan comes in a little glass vial

A little glass vial?

A little glass vial!

[11-eyed-rook]

"You don't look disabled/trans/bi/like a guy/sick/diabetic/mentally ill/neurodivergent/autistic/in pain"

*Fucking smacks you with my big paws*

[serendipitous-girl]

𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞

⊱✿⊰ summary: your family wants to protect you but its impossible with the life you all lead

⊱✿⊰ warnings: kidnapping, minor torture, it will be angsty, almost dying, spitting on your face, the joker deserves his own warning tbh

⊱✿⊰ notes: this is for skye because she wanted some angsty batfam stuff and here we are. I am just shitting on the page and hoping words form at this point. I hope you enjoy and feel free to send me requests. Also this is a platonic fic sorry if you were hoping for romance action

⊱✿⊰ tags: @kozumesphone @fizzywashere87 @fashionablysouly @witherwallflower @goldierey

@finleyforevermore @baecakie @gergthecat @mqstermindswift @anyas-shitposting69 (comment on this or send me an ask if you want to be added to my DC taglist)

"Well, well, well. Looks like baby bird got caged." The clown sneered, leaning close to your face. You scrunched your nose and tried to scoot away despite the ropes scratching your wrists raw.

The Joker's finger runs along your cheek, a horrific grin on his face as he stared at you. You tried to keep a brave face, you tried to act like the domino mask over your eyes was really a shield. You tried to act like your dad, Batman.

Maybe it was your fault you got kidnapped. He said you weren't ready to go out and patrol with your family, but you went away. You stole one of Damian's mask and put on the most costume adjacent clothes you owned.

"Where should I start, little one?" Joker asked, breaking your train of thoughts. Placing blame would be set for another time. Not now, its not time yet. "Should I give you a smile that matches mine? Should I turn you into a firey decoration before dear ol' daddy bat gets here?"

You winced, trying to prevent the ice filling your veins and the fear weighing your stomach down. The Joker grabbed a knife from his table that had numerous weapons littered on top. Carefully the cold metal of the blade brushed against your skin, not harsh enough to cut just yet. He wanted to scare you first.

•───────────•°•❀•°•──────────•

"I am going to kill that son of a bitch." Jason growled as soon as he heard the news. Bruce gathered the family in the batcave, and explained the Joker had kidnapped the youngest of the family- you.

"Jason, I understand your frustration but we can't act with haste. I won't let her face the same fate you did. I won't make the same mistake twice." Bruce replied, already dressed as Batman. He was doing his best to stay professional despite his fear being ever present.

"I don't want to wait too long either." Dick added, crossing his arms over his chest. Everybody was tense, wanting their sister to be safe once again.

"I'll find where that stupid clown is keeping [Name]." Tim said, standing up and rushing towards the computer before anybody could even reply. Barbara silently followed, knowing she would be the most help to Tim.

Bruce looked at all of his family and nodded, "We'll find her and get her back."

•───────────•°•❀•°•──────────•

Your throat was hoarse and tears had dried on your face. There was no point to fighting it anymore, you only hoped he would kill you soon.

"Aw but doesn't the bird look good with her wings marked?" The Joker chuckled, slicing yet another line into your arm. The cuts were deep, sure to scar, and they were deliberate. You could only guess what he was spelling on your arms.

With the amount of blood flowing down your arms like a red river, it was to no surprise you were fading in and out of consciousness. That would be nice, at least you wouldn't be awake while he tortured you.

You almost settled into the pain, eyes fluttering close to let yourself rest, when you heard a crash. Glass was broken and there was yelling everywhere.

The Joker grabbed your face with his hand and forced you to look forward, where you saw your family (the only thing disguising their horrified looks were their masks)

"Looks like they showed up in time for you, baby bird." He grinned, spitting on your cheek. You were too tired, too fragile to even bother being disgusted. It was better than the cutting.

"Let her go and I'll think about not crushing your head into the wall." Red Hood barked out, already aiming his gun at The Joker. You tried to pay more attention but you were fading slowly,, ready to force your body to rest.

The Joker dropped your body like it was nothing, your face smashing into the concrete. It hurt, pain forming in your forehead but it was a distraction from the blood oozing out of you.

Despite your best efforts, you finally blacked out. The last thing you saw was your family lunging at the Joker, rage thick in the air.

Light flooded your eyes, fresh air blasting your lungs. You were laying down on something soft and warm, contrasting against the mildly scratchy fabric on your skin. You blinked your eyes a few times, forcing them to focus despite the dull ache pounding in your head.

"You're awake." Damian said, apparently sitting beside you. It took a little while but you realized you were in the personal hospital at the manor. He had a few scratches and bruises but nothing as horrific as the scars on your skin (and in your brain.)

"Wha-what..happened?" You croaked, throat feeling like sandpaper. Like magic, Dick appeared with a glass of water you gratefully took. The liquid in your throat was almost heavenly in the way it made you feel infinitely better.

"The Joker kidnapped you and we rescued you." Your father explained calmly, not bothering to add details. Which was probably good for you, the devil's in details.

"I'm glad your back, sis." Jason said, making you suddenly aware of his presence in the back of the room. Your entire family seemed to be in here, ready to see your betterment. Despite he general aversion to touch, Jason wrapped you into a hug.

Of course, everybody else joined in (forcefully or not) for a big group hug. You laughed, despite the hollow of your heart, watching as Tim was pushed into the hug by Dick.. It was ridiculous having a group hug after a traumatic event...how family sitcom could you get?

But somehow, it felt good to be in the arm's of your family. It felt like home.

lori © 2024. please don't copy, modify, or do anything weird with my writing! i like reblogs and comments but please be kind as this was my writing.

[pearlywritings]

Courted by a... Hero?

synopsis: Diluc has feelings for you, but is under the impression that you do not reciprocate - his courting attempts show as much. But he comes to find out, that you are at ease around his alter ago... 

It won’t hurt to try and court you as the Darknight Hero. Right?

pairing: Diluc x fem!reader

tw: fluff, pining, courting, seemingly unreciprocated feelings, Darknight Hero!Diluc

word count: 3k words

a/n: this was suggested by a lovely anon~

Diluc Ragnvindr is enamored with you.

Diluc Ragnvindr thinks he is not that subtle about his affections. But it seems that he actually is, because otherwise the Master of the Dawn Winery does not understand how you manage to miss all the clues, all the longing gazes, all the small compliments and acts he does for you in attempts to hint that he'd like to court you.

Аpparently the longing in his eyes is lost in his regular stoic and a bit mournful expression, small compliments are so polite that it's not hard to mistake them for his gentlemanly antics, and his other actions are just a thread away from acts of service and help, which, given his сhivalry nature, do not stand out too.

Diluc doesn't get many opportunities to see you, since you do not visit the tavern often, but he tries so hard to make the meetings more numerous. An invitation to play cards at the Cat's Tail here and there, an insistence to walk you home, an offer to accompany you through the market as you go grocery shopping, always coming with an excuse of checking on the goods to tell Elzer later what purchases they should change for the Winery and its workers. Adelinde always smiles at him knowingly whenever some new dishes are added to his menu.

He is trying to show his affections to you, he really does, but he is too dense for that to come out exactly as he pictured it in his head. However, when you smile at him softly, accepting his offers, when you vent a little to him about a stupid coworker, when you stop at the Good Hunter to have supper with him - he thinks that the long process is worth it.

It's a great surprise, but the first time he gets an opportunity to hold you close is not a part of you dating him. No, your relationship is far from that, and his persona is hidden under the mask and a hooded cape, as he carries you bridal style. He is well aware of you staring up at him, but he can't make himself lower his gaze and meet with yours. He is just bringing you to a safe place after you twisted your ankle on a late evening run to catch a cat for your neighbor - a sweet old woman, whose pet seems to love escaping on an almost daily basis.

It's so hard to believe that he managed to be in the right place, at the right time, yet he chides himself for not arriving earlier - he could've caught you, preventing you from injuring yourself and falling. 

But it is such a quiet night… Maybe that's why he heard your painful yelp from two blocks away, rushing to help whoever got themselves in danger, and finding you sitting on the pavement and rubbing your leg.

"So… Mister Darknight Hero," he nearly groans at the name people gave him. He is intrigued by your lack of fear though, or at least worry, about some stranger picking you up and carrying you somewhere. The relaxed ring of arms wrapped around his neck only further proves it.

"Yes?" Diluc makes his voice gruff and low, still avoiding eye contact.

"Where are you taking me?" You sound curious, and the redhead can't help, but feel a bit aggravated - shouldn't you be concerned? Of course he is not taking you home - it'd be both creepy if a stranger knew your address and stupid, since your leg needs proper examination and treatment. Though still, you are so willingly accepting the masked man's help and entrust your fate in his arms fully, that it makes sarcasm evident in his words.

"On a late night date," he huffs with a slight roll of his eyes, letting his boldness out - something he can't allow himself to do often in the broad daylight as Diluc Ragnvindr.

"Oh really?" There is a hint of amusement in your tone, like you are enjoying his admission. "We've just met and you are bringing me on a date already? My, aren't you a forward man, Mister Hero. And where is this amazing place that's open so late? The tavern?"

"The hospital," Diluc does not realize it, but his cheeks are tinted pink, even if his voice remains inexpressive. However, he easily notices how relaxed you are in his hold, in his presence - even shooting teasing comments back at him and calling a date, well, a date. That's like more progress than he's had in the past month trying to court you.

Can it be… that he must change his approach? You, of course, can be attracted to completely different qualities in a man, and he should've taken it into consideration. Maybe this whole time he's been doing everything wrong.

Yet it’s too early to jump to conclusions, even if the winery owner slowly but surely grows desperate. To avoid false assumptions he decides to give it a proper thought tomorrow, after he visits you to check on your condition, bare of his alter ego.

As the morning comes and the sun gets brighter, Diluc is patiently waiting for the afternoon to see you. Half a day is enough for him to ‘receive the news’ about your condition however, but those several hours are excruciating. Are you well? Does your ankle hurt? Are you hungry? Maybe he should bring you food from Good Hunter… Are you thinking of him? Or…of tonight?

These thoughts are eating at his consciousness and when the midday eventually comes, the poor man looks exhausted. Lisa, whom he bumps into near the Alchemy stand, comments on it accordingly. Oh, but how fortunate it is, that she is the one to tell him about the events of last night and your current whereabouts.

“She looked ecstatic though,” the woman smiles, hands crossed and an intricate bell chiming on the tip of her large hat as she walks beside Diluc. “You should’ve seen that look on her face when she was telling me about the hero who saved her… Oh, but you will, won’t you? I am guessing you are going to pay her a visit.”

“You are correct,” the redhead nods, eyes trained on the today’s menu of the restaurant, as they get closer. “Right after I buy her some lunch.”

“A bouquet too, perhaps,” the smile turns teasing, emerald eyes glinting with knowledge. “I wonder when…” she pauses, but then decides against speaking what’s on her mind, shaking her head. “No matter. Good luck, Diluc.”

Luck? It’s such an abstract thing, something the wine tycoon doesn’t want in his life. If he needs something - he’d forge it with his own two hands, the ones that are currently occupied with a steaming meal and fresh flowers as he steps inside your chamber.

You are so lovely. Crimson eyes take in your resting form, basking in the sunlight from an open window. Warm rays kiss your cheeks and nose, falling right on the pages of a book he is sure Lisa has brought you. Tranquility suits you like the best of dresses and for a moment he gets lost in a scene before him, honored to be a part of it. 

That is until you lift your gaze and look at him and this time it’s your smile that makes the noble man go weak.

“Diluc! Hi,” your voice is so soft, bursting with excitement, which is also evident in how quickly you shut your book and put it away. This is a signal for the redhead to finally move closer and he eagerly takes this chance.

“I heard about what happened to you,” he offers you flowers and you gasp - a beautiful sound that touches the deepest strings of his soul. “I wanted to make you feel better. Also, I brought lunch.”

“Diluc…” There is appreciation in your tone, one, that strokes his ego. “You really didn’t have to, but I won’t decline the offer. Not to offend anyone,” you lower your voice, “but the food here is terrible.”

And he laughs. That’s a deep marvelous sound, that comes all the way from the confines of his chest, reserved for you only. Your giggles compliment it so perfectly, and when you hide behind the flowers, with only your eyes on display, shining and crinkling from joy - he falls in love even harder.

It almost feels like a date his nightly persona promised to take you on - flowers, delicious meal, his undivided attention… And even though it is not all that different from all the other times you spent together, this one feels far more special.

“So… You say you were saved by the Darknight Hero?” This question has been dancing on the tip of his tongue long before you even started to retell him the story of tonight. You nod vigorously, chewing on the most delicious chicken you’ve ever had.

“Mhm. And Archons, when I say this man is bold, he is bold.”

Your tone and the way your eyes just glinted… Can he assume you love such a character more? Should he…pursue you under the disguise of your savior?

He sure can try.

And try he does. Every night you would receive a masked visitor in your window. Every day Diluc would also come, to bring you fresh flowers, glorious meals and with hopes to know what you think of his other occupation. The Darknight Hero turned out to be charming. Diluc Ragnvindr is charming too, but it’s a different kind of charming - secure, understanding, reliable, loyal. While his alter-ego is mysterious, brooding, flirting and bold.

You seem to enjoy the latter. Why else would you wait for him, refusing to sleep, knowing that the Darknight Hero would come? Why would your eyes remain soft when gazing at an already not a stranger, yet not an acquaintance still? Why would you entertain his jokes and ask to tell you about what he does for Mondstadt? Watching him perch on the windowsill, chin resting on your fisted hands and purest interest written all over your face...

He was so right to ask the staff to move you to a different room with a bed close to the window. Doesn't matter he had to climb to the third floor, it's all in the name of love, however cheezy it sounds.

Only one question remains - how should he bring up the courting? Every normal woman would freak out if a man she barely knows (come on, even his face and voice are veiled) asked her out. Soon you'll be discharged, and climbing into your apartment's window is inappropriate too. The night strolls? No, he can't rob you of more sleep than he already selfishly does. But what should he do…

You seem to like it though, so there is absolutely no reason to complain.

You notice his silence. Curiosity replaces all other senses, just as it has been for all these nights you’ve spent with the man, and you cock your head to the left shoulder, observing, trying to guess what's behind the wall of his mind.

"What got you thinking so hard, Mr Hero?" At least you dropped using the whole title, which he is forever grateful for. "You look like someone who's trying to solve an extremely difficult case. Mind sharing? Maybe I can help."

Archons, you are so-so precious… and not completely wrong. He supposes, that since you’ve already started this conversation… He might just give it a shot. After all he is an entirely different man for you now, right? The straightforward one too.

Yet why is his heart thumping so wildly in his chest?

“I was… am wondering, if such a gorgeous woman, sitting in front of me right now, would let me court her.”

That’s it. The words are out, no turning back here. It feels surreal, true, but the male reassures himself that at least one issue is going to be out of his way, and whatever decision you’d make - he’d take it. Even if you angrily chase him out of the chamber.

However, it’s so hard to look you in the eyes - those pretty eyes that are filled with warmth and admiration, two things that are easy to turn into a freezing cold and disgust.

“You? As in the Darknight Hero?”

Here it is. Here is the implication that might as well as mean that whatever you two built during the few nighttime meetings is now ruined by a simple half-flirtatious suggestion.

All he can do is nod.

“I am sorry, Sir,” oh, the everlasting softness of your voice... Is that really how one delivers the rejection? “But there is already someone in my heart. I hope you will understand.”

Of course he does, no matter how painful it is. A delicate soul and a loving heart of yours can’t stay unoccupied, it would’ve been stupid to think so. Doesn’t matter the notion pierces his heart - he mustn’t take it close to it while wearing a mask.

“I apologize,” is all he can mutter, the voice suddenly slipping its usual gruffness, but no attention is spared to it.

“No need,” he is aware of the groan of the mattress as you shift, pulling your legs over the edge of the bed, and fully facing him now. “I am actually grateful for you being here to hear that. It’s been hard to keep it all in,“ this he understands even more. “Can I ask for a small favor?”

“Sure,” it’s the least he can do for making you uncomfortable.

“Can I whisper his name to you?”

The night is magical. There is no other explanation than its luring spell for why the man who’s just gotten rejected is sliding off the windowsill and moving closer to you to grant you your request. It’s also possible that your curiosity is contagious, but, Diluc does not dwell on it, he knows that the Darknight Hero wouldn’t.

Just as he doesn’t have time to react. A startled gasp is stuck in his throat, a hand shoots up, but it’s too late. Thick crimson bangs are spilling from under the pulled hood and ruby eyes widen in fright when the mask is pulled off of his face. He freezes in his bending position, staring at you in disbelief, fingers curled in a grasp not so far from his face. The face you know all too well. 

“Knew it,” you look content, twirling the beaked accessory between your fingers. Your smile is serene, and the image of a beautiful tranquility once again makes his heart skip a beat. What’s going on? Is this even real? Is there an option to let the ground swallow him whole? What do you mean ‘you knew’? Is it a good thing? Is it a bad thing? Is he screwed?

Archons, is your relationship screwed?

“Diluc,” it's his own name that shakes him back to reality. The blush creeps up his cheeks, mixing the blazing hues of embarrassment and shame.

“Yes..?”

You cock your head again, the smile getting wider.

“I promised the name of whom my heart belongs to, no? It’s Diluc. Diluc Ragnvindr. You.”

He swears he will faint right here and now. It must be a dream, it must be!

“You are thinking it’s a dream, aren’t you?” With a sigh you abandon the mask on the duvet, reaching out for his gloved hand, carefully tracing the back of it with the tips of your fingers. “Well, it’s not. And I am serious.”

“But-” He clears his throat, cursing the weakness in his knees at the barest of your touch. His mind is rushing, he can’t make logical conclusions, he can barely think with everything suddenly crashing and crumbling around him. So his heart takes over, bringing up his most sacred concern. “But I thought you were not interested in me.”

“Of course I am!” He flinches when the offense slips into your tone. “Of course I am, it’s just… you never asked me about dating. And I falsely assumed you are satisfied with what we already have.”

And he was. For the longest time, until it became obvious that he is not.

“When you saved me that evening I knew it was you. There is no mistake in the comforting warmth your body exudes, nor in the way you generally carry yourself. Also those strong hands… Can you name that many claymore users?”

You’ve known all this time?

“Forgive me for being selfish,” you chuckle sheepishly, unconsciously fiddling with his fingers, and Diluc finds it both cute and reassuring, calming even. “I kept you both during the day and at night for myself. I just wanted to know this side of you better. To know you better. And when you asked me under the disguise of the Darknight Hero… I just knew I wanted to hear that from the Diluc Ragnvindr.”

“In that case,” he lowers on his knee, clasping your hands in his and lying to himself that it’s not from how his body collapses with relief, clinging to you as if you’ll turn out to be just a piece of his desperate imagination, “I am selfish too. Because I was coming to you day and night with the exact same thoughts.”

“Does it make us a couple of selfish idiots, who clearly lack communication skills?” You giggle, and, Archons, what a splendid sound.

“I guess it does. Though I’d like the ‘couple’ part to become more real," giving your palms a squeeze, Diluc takes a deep breath, and with a new-found confidence makes his intentions clear. "Y/n L/n, will you go out with me?”

“Yes!”

The redhead cannot keep in his own laughter when you tug on his hands to draw him closer, to throw your arms around his broad shoulders and bury you face in his hair, smiling ear to ear. Gingerly he places his own palms on the small of your back, dropping his forehead onto your shoulder, and releasing a shaky breath.

Together. You are officially together.

And he is going to take his time with you.

taglist: @axerrri

[nrdmssgs]

Idk bout you but like hear me out on helping nikto get dressed like securing the man to go on a mission while you stay behind on base yk like helping him wear his gear and kissing his mask I mean what who said that? 🤨

Masterlist

Oh love, in this house kissing your man's mask is a must.

You two don't share many words. You - because you were never a particularly chatty type. Nikto for his part tries to keep his voices to himself, and any conversation would mean another chance to spit out too much.

Yet the connection between you two is obvious. It grows inevitably as you learn your ways around each other. Tread carefully, observe, memorize, analyze.

You don't need to ask him, when does his scarred face burn and itch. You already remember: it happens before the big operations. Nikto stirs himself up weeks prior to that, exercises more than usual, loses his usual appetite, barely sleeps. There is a certain cost to his extraordinary performance on a battlefield, and this is it. The last hours before the mission, he is so pent-up, his nerves eat him alive. It's when his old scars begin to hurt and torture Nikto. He clenches his teeth and hides his eyes from you.

You saw him trying his usual meds and salves before. But the pain is all in his mind, so nothing can fix it. Or so he thought before you touched him for the first time.

It feels as if you knew, where to press to relieve the tension. At first Nikto turns away, avoiding showing you the disfigured part, although this is almost meaningless since deep scars cross him from cheek to cheek, from lips to the forehead. Little by little he succumbs to your touch, leans in and buries his face in your hands.

He craves your touch. There are just not enough words to express it yet.

There is a small spot nestled between his upper vertebrae. You recall that if you press into it with your thumbs just so, he will groan and tilt his head back, murmuring soft, appreciative obscenities as you relieve the pressure on the nerve.

It sends him somewhere deep into the safety and tranquility. Nikto knew hands that could gift him pleasures before yours, but only you can bring him into another state of mind.

All because you don't treat him mechanically as one would treat a random lover. You observe. You learn.

You have meticulously learned how he prefers to wrap his arms, from his knuckles to midway up his elbow: the precise spots where he folds and knots the banding, and where he carefully tucks the ends to prevent them from coming loose during firing or fighting. Given the severe damage to the skin on his arms, he cannot endure the constant abrasion of coarse textiles. This knowledge, acquired through careful observation, surprises him now as you kneel and gently take the banding from his fingers, setting to the task with practiced precision. He watches you in silent awe. How is it possible to be this perfect? How are you this close to him, even though not in his embrace?

Nikto takes on his balaclava and the hood with straps, meanwhile you touch your fingers against a mask, lying on a bench next to him. He doesn't like it, when you take it. Not because he doesn't trust you - he would rip his own heart out and give to you, no questions asked, should you asked him to. But there are faces, grins, whines, laughter, screams, voices behind this mask. All the ugly, grim things, he tries to keep away from you.

When your soft lips press against the scratched black surface of its forehead, Nikto frowns. A hideous grimace of plastic and metal, yet you kiss it?

He remains quiet until you hand it to him. Only then he breaks the silence.

"Because it's prettier than me?"

You help him fasten all the belts and answer. Your words pass his ears and settle straight into his heart.

A relief. A tight lump growing in his throat. A warmth pulsing deep.

"Because it's a part of you."

[xo-cod]

thinking about bridgerton style au with the 141 🌸👑🩷

each boy seeking his partner, a search for a lover in order to become a duke. all four men well known around the town due to their mysterious backgrounds and their playboy ways though their hearts are cold, walls impenetrable, love isn't something they think they could achieve.

that is until they meet their match

john price: head of the team, price strives to fulfil the duties and managing the affairs. the leader, the one keeping them steadfast. he's intent on marrying purely out of duty, the viscount not interested in a love match. he doesn't think love will come to him so he doesn't hold out hope for it anymore, doesn't entertain thoughts of such an idea. nevertheless, he expects nothing short of perfection from his future bride.

simon "ghost" riley: handsome, charming and rich, quite the catch but unattainable. if he had any hope of fulfilling his duty of marrying and producing an heir, his temper prevents his pursuit. his heart is full of anger and pain, often engages on one nighters not wanting to be tied to down to someone. he had opted for more of a black surgical mask, occasionally donning the skull balaclava for when he finds trouble during the late night. the fear of love brings him vulnerability, the very thing that cursed his past. and he'll be damned if he makes the same mistake again.

kyle "gaz" garrick: gaz shows little interest in the societal goings-on, instead finding his refuge in the world of art. he yearns for something other than the endless round of parties he finds himself attending every evening. every night leaving behind a trail of broken hearts behind him, not a single one catches his eye. they don't seem to understand him to relate on a deeper level, they don't seem to care for affections and love. something he yearns for privately so he keeps to himself mostly. pours his love into art and dreams of turning his artistic hobby into a full-fledged career, soon finding himself looking far outside the world of the town in order to achieve it.

john "soap" mctavish: finally the youngest, takes no pleasure in attending balls and other social events instead preferring to focus on other activities. soap is not one for turning into just another young simpering and mincing viscount, he's got a sharp mind accompanied with a sharp tongue. believes he's destined for something much more, though he's quite rapidly approaching marriageable age. much to his displeasure. his heart is troubled, wanting to find love desperately but he knows its a fools pipe dream so he chooses not to engage with feelings anymore. with him it's just flings much like ghost, just fulfilling his sexual needs before he disappears

who shall be the one to capture their heart? who will be the one to rule the crown?

•••

don't come for me for any inaccuracies LOL. but i'm so in love with the slow burn and the yearning and the chance at love :") <33 and eventual smut

might add könig just for fun if i ever wrote it 👀 but it was in my drafts for ages lmao

[covid-safer-hotties]

Yes, there's hope in the fight against Long Covid.

Hope doesn't come in the form of natural immunity or subpar vaccines rolled out after waves of illness have already peaked. It comes in the form of clean indoor air, widespread masking, and better treatments. In that vein, the NIH is finally launching a new batch of clinical trials focused on Long Covid, five total, dedicated to different aspects of the condition. Institutes like Mount Sinai are running clinical trials on repurposed HIV drugs. So is HealthBio, a startup working on immune diseases. (They're testing maraviroc and atorvastatin.) Post-Viral Trials News is sharing updates as they roll in. Of course, the NIH and FDA need steady pressure to make sure they're funding trials that focus on a range of options. Given the urgency of the crisis, we should be doing far more. As Harvard economist David Cutler has said on developing treatments for Long Covid, "There is no amount that's overdoing it." We're talking about a $16 trillion crisis.

We're talking about an urgent need for dozens of expedited clinical trials for drugs that already exist, which have shown effectiveness in preventing and treating Long Covid in its various incarnations. We're talking about making those drugs accessible right now for off-label use, so that Covid survivors can finally get the help they need.

Long Covid is an emergency.

We're going to talk about prescription treatments first, and then supplements and extracts you can find yourself. Up front, you can try services like RTHM and CURE ID that aim to connect patients with treatments without endless waits. (I'm not endorsing them. I'm just telling you they exist.)

Let's dig in.

Healthcare largely abandoned monoclonal antibodies during the first Omicron wave, but some of them remain effective in higher doses as postviral therapies. We've also found new ones. For example: A study in Nature offers 5B8 as a therapy for fibrinogen, a protein in your body that binds to the Covid spike protein during infection. Afterward, that protein starts to behave differently, "forming pro-inflammatory blood clots" that lead to cardiac and brain dysfunction, especially in young patients with mild infections. It also suppresses your natural killer cells, weakening your immune system. So, damaged fibrinogen is the culprit behind a lot of the "mysterious" health problems we're seeing.

As the authors show, "fibrin-targeting immunotherapy may represent a therapeutic intervention for patients with acute Covid-19 and Long Covid." The monoclonal antibody 5B8 "provides protection...without adverse effects." The sooner you get it, the better it works.

A 2024 study in the American Journal of Emergency Medicine also found that the monoclonal antibody regeneron helped Long Covid survivors recover. Researchers "expressed surprise at the swift and comprehensive improvements observed in the patients," adding that "regardless of the duration of their Long Covid experience, significant progress was noted within a mere 5 days of receiving the Regeneron treatment." It might work because it helps your immune system eliminate residual amounts of virus or viral fragments, or it might replace damaged antibodies that attack your cells.

A 2022 study found that another monoclonal antibody, Sotrovimab, helped survivors with persistent viral loads after initial infection who were still reporting fatigue, chest pain, and trouble breathing months after infection. As the researchers note, the patients showed "rapid improvement of symptoms and inflammation markers as well as negative swabs."

Yet another 2022 study in Clinical Infectious Diseases found that a monoclonal antibody treatment called Leronlimab could help Long Covid patients recover by boosting their immune system in cases where Covid downregulated it, causing a drop in their CCR5 levels, a receptor found on a range of cells that fight pathogens, including your CD4 lymphocytes.

The Long Covid Action Project is also developing a list of drugs that desperately need clinical trials and faster deployment. They stress the need for monoclonal antibodies and antivirals like pemivibart, azvudine, ensitrelvir (Xocova), and sofosbuvir. They'll be releasing a full list later this year.

So while these monoclonal antibodies might not save your life during early infection, they can help your recovery.

There should be more clinical trials and off-label use.

Interferon treatments, specifically Interferon-Lambda, have shown the potential to help with immune system problems and cognitive deficits (caused by brain inflammation) after Covid infections.

Also:

A 2022 study in Frontiers in Immunology found that high doses of immunoglobulin have shown "a significant to remarkable clinical benefit" in treating a full range of brain, heart, and lung problems in Long Covid patients. A major 2023 study in Frontiers in Neuroscience confirmed that immunoglobulin lead to significant improvement in neurological problems. As researchers in a third study on immunoglobulins and Long Covid state, we already use this therapy to treat a variety of chronic inflammatory diseases, as well as flu, HIV, and measles. (The NIH has included immunoglobulins in their new clinical trials.)

HIV drugs have also shown promise for helping Long Covid patients. A 2023 study in Clinical Infectious Diseases found that Tenofovir reduced someone's Covid risk regardless of whether they had HIV. A range of studies have supported the use of Tenofovir, Darunavir Ethanolate, and Azvudine for Covid. As we noted earlier, clinical trials are currently testing HIV drugs for Long Covid.

Another study in Antiviral Research found that cobicistat, used to boost HIV antivirals, also fights Covid and leads to a significant reduction in overall risk. The researchers found that higher doses work better. They also found that higher doses work better for ritonavir, one of the key components of Paxlovid. By the way, ritonavir has been used in HIV treatments since the mid-1990s.

The research on repurposed HIV drugs points to the potential of many antiretroviral therapy (ART) medications for Long Covid, given that viral persistence plays a large role in most cases.

When you consider that Paxlovid itself contains an HIV antiviral, it sounds a little less extreme to compare Covid to HIV and discuss repurposing existing drugs.

Finally, studies have shown that molnupiravir and metformin have shown effectiveness against Covid. In particular, a 2024 study in Clinical Infectious Diseases found that metformin prescribed in the early stages of a Covid infection led to a 41 percent drop in Long Covid risk.

Other research has revealed that sometimes it takes a combination of these drugs to help patients recover. In a 2022 study in Clinical Infectious Diseases, researchers used nanopore technology to identify the specific variants patients were infected with and select the most effective treatments for that variant. In one case, a Long Covid patient with severe Paxlovid rebound only got better after doctors prescribed Paxlovid again and added remdesivir. Nobody had thought to try that yet.

It worked.

These are the drugs that demand renewed attention and clinical trials, given that most research on Long Covid points to ongoing infection, viral persistence, and the disruption of your immune system, which could mean a downregulated or weakened immune system or an overactive one. We especially need clinical trials that match drugs with specific conditions.

Specialists are going to decide the right dose for prescription drugs. Generally, the research indicates that if a standard dose doesn't work, a higher dose might as long as it doesn't trigger side effects. A combination of drugs can work when a single drug fails.

What can you do if you don't have access to these drugs?

This:

A major 2023 study in Cells found that eriodictyol, a flavonoid extracted from yerba santa, can help with the brain inflammation caused by Covid infections that leads to cognitive deficits and fatigue. Researchers have found that at least part of the "brain fog" from Long Covid happens when the virus triggers immune cells to attack the brain. Eriodictyol can also be derived from citrus fruits, tomatoes, and grapes. As the authors explain, a range of flavonoids "have been reported to prevent neuroinflammation, provide neuroprotection, and reduce cognitive dysfunction, especially brain fog."

The authors of the Cell study list flavanoids liposomal luteolin, oleuropein, and sulforaphane as all beneficial for recovering brain function. They identify formulas called BrainGain and FibroProtek containing flavonoids that helped Long Covid patients with severe brain fog in previous studies. Those contain luteolin. They ultimately recommend ViralProtek, which combines several flavonoids, "alone or together" with eriodictyol.

These formulas aren't just managing symptoms. According to the studies, they're helping you clear viral remnants and rehabilitate your immune system. They inhibit your microglia and mast cells, immune cells that often drive the brain inflammation behind Long Covid cognitive problems.

What else?

A 2022 study in Molecules found promise in nattokinase, "a popular traditional Japanese food made from soybeans fermented by Bacillus subtilis var." Not so coincidentally, nattokinase also "decreases the plasma levels of fibrinogen," the same protein that drives thrombosis in Long Covid patients and indeed "has drawn central attention in thrombolytic drug studies," as well as tumor treatment. It also inhibits the replication of bovine herpes virus. Clinical trials have found no adverse effects from eating natto. In this particular study, the researchers found that nattokinase degrades the Covid spike protein, inhibiting infection. As they conclude, "nattokinase and natto extracts have potential effects on the inhibition of SAS-cOv-2 host cell entry."

Martha Eckey describes natto extracts in more detail here, along with benefits, recommended dosage, and possible side effects. Respondents to her survey reported the best results when they took Solaray's natto extract along with serrapeptase, an enzyme and commonly used drug in Japan and Europe that helps your body break down proteins. A large number of patients reported improvement after taking the natto-serra combination, often within a week or two. Many of them also benefited from adding lumbrokinase, an enzyme shown to facilitate healing.

Like natto, lumbrokinase breaks down fibrin. We're seeing a theme here. Any kind of treatment that breaks down fibrin, whether it's a monoclonal antibody or an enzyme, helps after a Covid infection.

Take a look for yourself:

Eckey discusses cromolyn for brain inflammation and neurological issues, and some people have said it helps with other problems. She also wrote this great post about protecting kids from Long Covid.

A lot of it also applies to adults.

Another surprising study in Viruses from 2021 found that grapeseed extract (V. vinifera) contained dozens of flavonoid compounds that inhibited viral replication, including for Covid. The researchers used concentrations from 500 μg/ml down to 10 μg/ml.

Studies have even found that taurine supplements can do a lot to reduce your Covid risks, including Long Covid. A 2024 study in PLoS One found that the amino acid can serve as both a biomarker and a target for treatment in Long Covid. As they write, taurine has already "shown benefits such as reducing depressive behavior, improving memory, and mitigating age-related issues by addressing cellular senescence, chronic inflammation, DNA damage, and mitochondrial dysfunction." It can play "a potential protective role" in "alleviating the burdens of PCC." If that weren't enough, "taurine supplementation has demonstrated diverse therapeutic properties, including anti-oxidation, anti-aging, antiepileptic, cytoprotective, and cardioprotective effects in many diseases." Yes, even taurine from energy drinks. (And I guess it's a good thing I drink them.)

A standard diet contains about 40-400 mg of taurine per day. Medical use often starts at 6 grams a day.

There's a reason why many of these treatments don't get the attention they deserve, and Timothy Ferriss of all people describes it very well in the opening to The 4-Hour Body. As he learns from talking with a wide range of doctors and medical researchers, the industry frowns on any kind of treatment that doesn't look or feel "elite" enough. There's not a lot of incentive for major research on supplements or cheap, widely available drugs because they're just not cool enough, even if they work. For drug makers, it can't just work. It also has to generate enough profit.

That's what happens when you privatize medicine.

As a society, we have to overcome that. This shortcoming isn't going to help us address the myriad public health challenges of the future.

It's a little ironic that the catchphrase "do your own research," once levied against anti-vaxxers, is now used to insult Long Covid survivors and advocates who are trying desperately to find treatments. The difference is that we're not rejecting medicines.

We're simply not getting them.

This article can't replace a doctor or a nutritionist, but it offers a comprehensive starting point for anyone who needs it. You can do more digging and confirm what's here. You could also just make a list of all the things discussed here and take them to someone you trust, and go from there.

It's crucial for us to develop a range of treatments and therapies for Covid that go beyond the mainstream reliance on Paxlovid and vaccines, conveniently dominated by a single pharmaceutical company.

It won't last forever.

In fact, research has shown that Paxlovid leads increasingly to rebound infections in which "the virus can return unimpeded by the drug, bringing the risk of disease and even death."

That's the part left out by corporate media. Rebound doesn't simply mean another round of Paxlovid. It means decreased effectiveness.

It means evasion.

Just like our mediocre vaccines, Covid is developing resistance to Paxlovid. According to an article in Nature, researchers around the world are now quietly racing to develop alternatives. No doubt, viral evolution offers one of the unspoken reasons why many of us find it so hard to access the drug now. The elites are terrified of losing the thing that enables their denial and wishful thinking.

Here's what one researcher said:

“This type of approach helped to improve HIV drugs, and we think it’s a good way to improve antivirals against SARS-CoV-2,” says Sho Iketani, PhD, assistant professor of medical sciences at Columbia University’s Vagelos College of Physicians and Surgeons and Aaron Diamond AIDS Research Center, who co-led the research..."

Western countries are well behind the curve on these fronts. Japan now offers a drug called Xocova (ensitrelvir), arguably more effective than Paxlovid, and it's been sitting in the FDA approval queue for about a year. China approved HIV antivirals for Long Covid back in 2022. While some healthcare workers in Europe and North America know about combining and repurposing drugs, many of them are still busy pretending Covid is over.

It's time for government agencies to pull their heads out of the sand and do their jobs. If there had been more urgency over the last four years, and less favoritism toward one or two drug giants, we would already have these treatments deployed. As things stand, we need leaders to not only run these long overdue clinical trials but also prepare to scale up production considerably, while making sure that everyone has access, not just those with platinum insurance plans. We could already be doing that for emergency off-label use now. Why aren't we?

Although it's infuriating and demoralizing it took us so long to get here, it's encouraging to know that teams of scientists around the world have been working on this crisis and producing results. We just need the gates unlocked.

There's no time to waste.

Let's get moving.

[yanderes-galore]

Here's my second request, it is fox M.X.E.S from FNAF: Ruin.

So, since they are a virtual security system, this could work if reader was a mechanic or technician and finds one V.A.N.N.I mask for the first time. In the beginning M.X.E.S stalks reader, but since they aren't trying to turn off the parental nodes, the virtual entity starts being less hostile, even letting reader roam through the virtual world(?). But, as more the rabbit watches the worker, more they want to keep them there, after all, there's no one else in this place.

If i remember correctly, in some point of the DLC, M.X.E.S uses some devices to lock Cassie inside the network and kill her, so he could use those same devices on reader, unabling them from removing the mask.

-🦊

Oh! You were the one that did the Fluffy AU! Mangle? Got it, cool! Here you go :)

M.X.E.S/The Entity is referred by both "They/Them" and "It" in this.

Yandere! M.X.E.S/The Entity Concept

Pairing: Platonic/Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Stalking, Obsession, Sentient AI, Manipulation, Imprisonment implied, Forced companionship.

M.X.E.S is another strange case.

They are purely AI with no real "body".

They're meant to keep The Mimic in check due to being a security system.

For the sake of this concept I'll say they have some sentience.

You can only ever see them with a V.A.N.N.I mask so theoretically they'd be easy to avoid.

In theory....

If you are a mechanic/technician then obtaining a mask is easy.

You're given one as a Class V technician, the process of integrating is a bit painful but you get through it.

M.X.E.S would be more of an observing yan for the most part.

You were sent there for some reason, due to your job it's most likely related to obtaining some tech for recovery.

Who knows, maybe Gregory or Vanessa sent you.

Due to M.X.E.S not seeing many people in this place and noticing a presence through the mask, they follow you from a distance at first.

Perhaps even sent to recover the ruined animatronics (Chica, Monty, Roxy, maybe Freddy).

M.X.E.S knows its goal, it's meant to prevent The Mimic from escaping.

But unlike Cassie... you leave the nodes be.

As a result the rabbit AI no longer sees you as a threat.

You are registered as a technician and are meant to be here....

So, the rabbit tries not to bother you.

Yet that doesn't mean they fully leave you alone.

You give the AI something/someone to focus on when it isn't hunting intruders.

As a result you may begin to view the black rabbit as some sort of companion.

You may even recognize it as a security system so you know it means no harm.

The rabbit AI may look scary, yet it's on your side...

Right?

In fact the AI may try to offer you comfort.

After all, you're the only living human here right now.

M.X.E.S would not lure any enemies towards you to be hostile.

In fact they just want to help you with your job.

Things only go bad when they realize what happens when the job is over.

Once you have what you want, you'll leave.

You'll leave The Entity all alone.

This would be when the rabbit turns on you.

The devices you were speaking about are called "AR Jammers" if I remember correctly.

They can be used to lock you out of the mask... or lock you in.

I can see M.X.E.S deciding to cut you off when your job is nearly done.

They set up an AR Jammer or two around the ruined Pizzaplex to prevent you from removing the mask.

The rabbit mask feels like it's fused to your face... no matter how hard you try to pull at it.

You immediately turn to the culprit, the floating glitchy security program staring at you with eager eyes.

You realize what it's done and begin to plead.

The Entity only shakes their head.

At this point they feel you belong here... they feel they should keep you here just like The Mimic...

Then they can have you all to themselves.

[claymoresword]

I Choose Her | Chapter 15

Hermione Granger x Slytherin Fem!Reader

Summary: You are the daughter of two known death eaters from one of the oldest and richest families in the wizarding world. Are you truly prepared to give up everything you know for Hermione Granger?

Pairing: Hermione x Reader

Wordcount: 4.3k

Warnings: character death, mentions of animal abuse, y/n and hermione are so protective of each other it's sick

Note: Hello! wow this one took forever, I feel bad that I'm always apologizing for delayed updates but oh well here we are :/ this one is more to move the plot forward and I wanted to follow canon in a way that would make sense for this story

anyway, as always thank you so much for the continued support and an even bigger thanks for your patience! crossing my fingers that updates will be more frequent from here on out. that's it, i hope you enjoy this one!

Taglist: @gvrsto @aweidlich @xxsekhmet @arielj @poppyflower-22 @scarleigh1989 @smut-religiously777 @cocoyeehaw @blackbirdv98 @arcturusseer @iamcapitalgbicorn8287 @lonewalker17 @karasonromanoff @httphayn @bigbadsofty07 @cherryflavoredcoke @dumpsapphic @idontwannabehereatm @js-a-writer @baylegend6 @puta1

Hermione stands over you as you hold out the thick strand of hair, pinched in between your fingers.

Harry and Ron stare at it with bated breaths, the air in between the four of you is still; anticipating.

You didn't have to consider for too long to know it belonged to your mother. You had nearly mistaken it for your own, if it weren't for the grayish undertones, only fully visible when illuminated.

It seems every time you saw your mother, her hair would be a shade lighter. As time did its duty, as the years passed, the older each of you got, the less you resembled the other.

You don't see your mother when you look in the mirror, not anymore.

"Are you sure that's hers?" Ron asks as you rise from your crouching position.

The painful lump in your throat prevents you from answering him.

You swallow thickly.

"I'm sure." You finally say.

Silence once again, as Ron reaches out to carefully pick out the strand, retrieving it from your grip, he drops it into the flask he held in his other hand with even more precision.

The only noise that fills the air is a faint sizzle, as the polyjuice potion consumes its final ingredient.

You feel Hermione move to your side, her fingers curl around your bicep, her other hand firmly intertwines with yours.

"Are you certain we'll be allowed into Bellatrix's vault?" Harry asks, he looks at you expectantly and you grace him with an assured nod.

"I've seen my mother retrieve things for her dozens of times, it'll work." You claim, but Harry's immediate skepticism doesn't evade you, and honestly, you can't hold it against him.

Your plan is far from foolproof. Like many times before the four of you are simply hoping to get by on pure chance and luck.

"How do we know what it is, when we get in her vault? I mean, a Horcrux could be anything." Ron asks, a question you were all wondering.

"I'll know." Harry quips plainly.

You glance at Hermione to shoot her a look before returning your attention back to Harry.

"It's hard to explain but– I'll just know." He adds, and none of you wish to push on the subject further.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You watched as Hermione lifted the flask filled with polyjuice to her lips, but then she pauses. Her shoulders rise as she takes a deep breath, as if preparing herself.

"Wait–" You interject, rising from the bed, in three large strides you are standing before your girlfriend.

"Let me drink it." You then place a hand over Hermione's, but she pries it off lightly.

"No, I'll do it." She counters, and you don't attempt to mask your disapproval.

"You can't drink it." Hermione reiterates.

"When we get to Gringotts, it'll appear more believable with you by my side, you know it." She adds, and you hate that Hermione is right.

You sigh.

"Darling, it's too dangerous." You breath out, your hand travels up her forearm, eventually tenderly cupping her face.

Hermione instinctively shuts her eyes at the sensation, she leans into your touch, her muscles no longer tense, her body visibly reacts to your warmth.

"We're all in danger." She finally claims, once your eyes meet again.

"This is the only way. There's another Horcrux hidden in her vault, we just have to find it." Hermione states assuredly but it does nothing to convince you of the plan.

You remain staring at your girlfriend, Hermione always had a way of making your heart feel like it could just implode within your chest.

You are overcome with love, care, and longing, all of these feelings encapsulated in the sheer dread of what's to come, of what might happen.

Hermione finds no trouble in returning your gaze.

This wordless exchange lasts for several seconds until Hermione decides to take advantage of your unmoving state. She leans in, passionately capturing your lips with her own.

Your hands quickly shift to rest on her waist, you then feel Hermione's hand move to the back of your head, pulling you closer.

You are taken aback as she opens her mouth wider, deepening the kiss, soon enough her tongue makes contact with your own.

You have no air left in your lungs, but the last thing you wish to do is pull away.

Hermione lets out a light hum as she presses her body up against yours; her eagerness causes your entire body to tremble, you worry your legs might give out at any moment.

The kiss ends as abruptly as it began.

A sharp gasp leaves Hermione's lips as she takes a step back, as if it proved a real struggle for her to cease the kiss.

Soon a sense of euphoria overcomes your entire being, even if it is fleeting, you feel at peace and it translates into a boyish grin across your face.

Hermione notices, and she has to bite her bottom lip to hide a smile herself.

She places a lingering hand over your chest before shoving you away playfully.

"Go on, wait outside. I'll meet you there." Hermione orders, and you know better than to protest.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You continued to pace back and forth, the usually maddening feeling of sand repeatedly filling your shoes does nothing to distract you.

Trepidation rapidly materializes within you the longer you waited for your girlfriend.

By taking the Polyjuice and assuming your mother's identity, Hermione is putting herself in immense danger, and you are expected to stand by and simply witness it, again.

"It'll be fine." You hear Harry's voice, but you don't acknowledge him.

You can't feel anything beyond the incessant pounding in your head; you possessed barely any strength at all, you mustered just enough to stomach this.

Soon enough, Hermione emerges from the hut and the sight you are met with is unsettling.

The woman standing before you appears to resemble your mother. Wearing the clothes your mother would wear, there was no trace of Hermione, beyond her voice.

Harry and Ron fail to speak alongside your silence. Hermione looks between the three of you impatiently.

"So, how do I look?" She asks, and you can't help but grimace.

"Disturbing." You quip.

Then you had no choice but to look away.

"Come on, let's just get this over with." You release an exasperated breath and Harry emerges next to you with Griphook.

"Griphook you give that to Hermione to hold onto, alright?" The man states, but it mainly sounded like a warning.

The Goblin lets out a subtle gripe as he hesitates, before eventually sheathing the steel into your girlfriend's bag.

"You get us into Bellatrix's vault, and the sword is yours." Harry reassures.

Ron finally takes out his wand so he may alter his own appearance, with a single wave, his hair is inches longer. The beard that appears on his face ages him, and makes him nearly unrecognizable.

"Now remember the plan, I'll be under the cloak with Griphook. Y/n and Hermione you'll try to convince the Goblin to let you through. Ron, you stand back in case anything happens." Harry runs through the plan once more and this time you don't suppress a scoff.

Hermione grabs your arm, wordlessly asking for you to stand down.

"This is a terrible plan." You say it anyway, and Harry doesn't retaliate, instead he nods in agreement.

"I know. But it's still the best one we've got."

════════════════════════════════════════════

You had to remind yourself to breathe as you walked through the doors of Gringotts.

Although certain the anxiety you are feeling at this moment is incomparable to the terror Hermione must be experiencing.

You had to battle every instinct urging you to reach out and hold your girlfriend's hand.

Ron trails closely behind the two of you, Harry and Griphook somewhere close by, hidden by the cloak of invisibility.

You brace yourselves once you get to the podium, a moment passes, but the Goblin on duty fails to acknowledge your presence entirely.

Hermione takes it upon herself to clear her throat.

Still, nothing.

She glances at you for help, and you nod, urging her to speak.

"I wish to enter." Your girlfriend states curtly, her best attempt to appear menacing.

In any other instance you would find it a little humorous, but right now, Hermione's poor imitation only makes you wince.

The Goblin fails to acknowledge either of you still, your patience rapidly thinning out.

"My mother has been sent to clear out Madam Lestrange's vault. I am certain you understand why you mustn't delay us." You say and the creature finally looks up.

His entire demeanor shifts, but it only helped to annoy you further.

"Madam, forgive me I did not realize it was you." Bogrod says, feigned cordiality.

"Of course you may enter.. but first, do you mind presenting your wand?" He adds and there is a pause.

You can sense Hermione's panic, but she tries her best to maintain a composed front.

She folds her arms over her chest.

"I hardly think that's necessary." Hermione states.

"I'm afraid I must insist." The Goblin's grin falters, and you realized you had to quickly step in

"Why?" You say, instinctively stepping forward, partially shielding Hermione with your body.

"New policy, I'm afraid." Bogrod explains, but before you can argue your case, the creature's expression shifts.

Your eyes catch the waft of green smoke seeping into the Goblin's nostrils.

You manage a quick glimpse of what looked like the tip of a wand being retracted, it disappears seemingly into thin air.

Y/n quickly realizes that Harry has sensibly, stepped in before things got ugly.

In an instant, the Goblin changes his tune.

"Very well, Madam, if you will follow me." He says with a dopey smile.

You hear Hermione let out a sigh of relief, you can't help but do the same.

════════════════════════════════════════════

The ride through the dungeons was nothing close to pleasant. The cart transporting you zoomed at an unfathomable speed, the abrupt turns and twists would have made you nauseous, if you weren't feeling sick already.

Hermione continues clutching your hand in hers, tighter than usual, your grip is similar in turn.

Finally, the cart halts, and before you know it, the six of you are free falling dozens of feet.

You reach for your wand in your pocket but Hermione beats you to it.

"Arresto Momentum!" She exclaims, and your bodies hang mid air, inches from the ground. Soon the spell wears off, the six of you fall onto the cold, wet, stone, front first.

"Thank you, Hermione." Harry says, as he helps himself off the ground.

You quickly do the same, rushing over to help your girlfriend up.

Hermione gladly takes your hand, when your eyes meet, you notice her appearance, she is back to her usual self.

The Polyjuice potion had entirely worn off but Bogrod, still under the Imperius curse, is unable to do anything about it.

"Come on, this way." Griphook shouts, he leads the four of you to the vaults.

He navigates the dark cavern with ease, as you try to get your eyes to adjust, a piercing screech fills the air, and it causes both you and Hermione to glance at each other.

You warily follow Griphooks lead, but the sight you're met with when the six of you turn the corner makes your breath catch in your throat.

"That's a Ukrainian Ironbelly–" Ron points out, awe and disbelief you shared.

Then Griphook picks up an object you quickly deduced to be a certain type of bell. As he shakes it, the dragon's screeching intensifies, it flails around as if trying to escape the noise.

It was only then you noticed the thick metal chains around its neck and legs.

"It's been trained to expect pain when it hears this sound." The creature claims and Hermione releases you so she may step forward, following his lead.

She speaks once she is in earshot of the Goblin.

"That's barbaric." Your girlfriend says, a certain tenor to her voice, you knew her well enough to recognize that she was truly indignant.

The dragon's screeching continues as the four of you slip past it.

It only retreats to cowers silently in the corner once the noises from the bell stops.

The vault is now in sight, as the group approaches you can't help but notice that Bogrod has disappeared.

You glance out at where you spotted the Goblin last and sure enough. He was standing in front of the dragon, simply staring at it; the curse has evidently impaired his judgment and all sense of danger.

"Wait– what do we do with him?" You gesture to Bogrod.

Although before anyone can respond, the Ukrainian Ironbelly takes a large step forward, then from its mouth, comes flames, big and blistering enough to turn the entire space scorching hot in an instant.

The once Goblin was now burnt to nothing but ash.

Hermione, Y/n and the boys only manage to stare in utter shock.

"That's unfortunate." Ron finally quips.

"Come on, we don't have much time." Griphook warns, he advances forward and the four of you follow.

As you arrive at the vault, it appears familiar to you, but only distantly.

It was not the vault Snape led you to a few months ago but it appears almost identical.

"Is this where you got the sword?" Hermione asks in a hushed tone, and you quickly shake your head.

"No, the key Snape gave me led to a different vault." You explain, but your girlfriend doesn't say anything, expecting your response.

As the five of you enter Bellatrix's vault, it is worse than you expected.

It is filled with random trinkets, some valuable, some not.

The three of you sport a defeated expression, but Harry was not going to give up so easily.

He steps forward.

"It's in here, I can sense it." He states.

You observe silently as The Chosen One approaches a particular cup, amidst an array of objects that look nearly identical to it.

Soon enough he reaches for it.

Harry holds out the cup, nothing is said, but there is an energy that reverberates through the air.

It's unmistakable. He has a Horcrux in hand.

"Pass me the sword." He extends his arm and Hermione scrambles through her bag, eventually retrieving the steel.

She passes it to Harry, he grips the pommel, but doesn't get the chance to do much else as a noise captures your attention.

Ron knocks over a goblet by accident, instead of breaking as it touches the ground, it only multiplies.

As the duplicate makes contact with another object it does the same thing. Soon objects are spawning at a rapid rate, filling up the already limited vacant space by your feet.

"What's happening?" Hermione exclaims over the loud noise, you instinctively step to her side as she nearly loses her balance.

"It's an enchantment, everything you touch will multiply." The Goblin explains, you aren't given much chance to come up with an escape plan as the objects quickly engulf all five of you.

For what felt like eternity, you fought to keep your head above.

You spot Hermione and Ron doing the same, but you can't see Harry anymore.

Amidst the chaos, somehow, Griphook gets a hold of the Horcrux.

Then, Harry finally emerges from the sea of gold and silver. He frantically looks around, in search of the object, but his attention shifts to the Goblin as he proudly holds up the Horcrux.

"We had a deal, Griphook!" Harry bellows, and the creature only grins, malicious, irritating.

"The cup for the sword!" He strikes up the bargain, and you curse under your breath.

It is getting increasingly difficult to stay afloat, and you watched as Hermione and Ron struggled the same.

Harry begrudgingly hands over the sword, the Goblin then returns the Horcrux back to him.

"I said I'd get you in, I never said anything about getting you out." Griphook quips, he holds his hand up against the door, unlocking it.

Soon the objects begin spilling out of the vault after him but the four of you continue to struggle to make your way to the exit.

If only you could retrieve your wand, you could stop the Goblin from going any further.

"Hermione, can you reach your wand?" You shout, and the struggle in your girlfriend's face is evident.

"I'm trying!" She replies.

After moments of struggle, the four of you miraculously manage to make your way out, but it was too late.

The Goblin is nowhere to be seen.

"Griphook!" Harry calls out in anger, he doesn't expect a reply, and he doesn't receive one.

His voice echoes through the dungeons, and it only works to disturb the dragon ahead.

It lets out another deafening screech.

You approach slowly, in search of the object that you know will subdue the beast, but you can't find it anywhere and you know for certain Griphook is the reason for it.

"The bell- it's gone." You don't try to conceal your distress.

"That foul creature– how are we supposed to get out of here?" Ron curses and you begin looking around for some type of solution, an idea to come to you.

You take an experimental step forward; careful, quiet.

You consider that perhaps, if you moved slowly, the dragon won't react.

However, your theory was quickly proven incorrect as the beast storms towards you within the confines of its chains, soon opening its mouth.

You were only inches away from getting charred alive before Hermione harshly grabbed your arm, yanking you to her side.

The pins you up against the pillar, out of the dragon's sight.

Ron and Harry stood a few paces away, their backs also against the wall.

"What on earth was your plan there?" Hermione hisses, and you are staggered for a moment.

You've never seen her so furious with you.

"I just thought if I moved quietly–" You start, but then another loud noise pierces the atmosphere.

Clearly, your stunt only exacerbated the dragon's already agitated state.

The sounds that follow suggest that the formidable beast was now fighting to be released from its restraints.

"Don't you ever try something like that again–" Hermione warns, her hand still gripping your collar.

You nod apologetically, suddenly you almost feel like a child being reprimanded.

Your girlfriend finally loosens her grip on your shirt.

The beast's actions begin to get larger and louder, in its outrage it clamours at the stone walls, chipping large pieces off.

"What a joke– did we go through all of that just to die in here?" Ron quips.

"We can't apparate.." Your girlfriend mumbles to herself, mentally debating an escape plan.

"Hermione?" Harry asks, it sounds closer to a desperate plea.

You were all stumped, only hoping that the mostly brilliant mind out of the four of you will manage to think of a plan to escape.

Hermione finally looks up at you, and by the look on her face you can tell whatever it might be; she's figured something out.

"I've got an idea, but it's mad." She admits, with a raised voice and truth be told you hated the sound of that.

Harry and Ron stare at her expectantly and you only grow more nervous by the second.

Hermione turns to y/n, you don't speak a word to her but it is not required as she already senses your anxiety, she places a firm hand on your chest right above your heart, you were certain she can feel it pounding against her palm.

"Just trust me." She reassures, too swiftly for your liking, as she completes her sentence she retreats.

You can only anticipate her next move, and it is not one you'd ever expect, in fact it nearly sends you into an early grave.

You watched as Hermione leaped off the balcony, landing on the dragon's back.

"Hermione!" You exclaim.

She struggles to get a grip of the beast for a moment, you are stunned when the dragon stills, it doesn't try to force Hermione off it's back.

"Come on!" Your girlfriend shouts, and you were first to mirror her earlier action. With a single large leap you manage to grab onto the dragon's horns, you pull yourself up, situating yourself behind Hermione.

The dragon reacts the same, but it is too fixated on the chains wrapped around its neck to care.

Soon enough Harry and Ron manage to climb on as well.

There is a point of eery stillness as the dragon seemingly appears too tired to continue fighting.

"Now what?" Harry poses a good question, and you take it upon yourself to fish out your wand.

"Relashio!" In one swift move, you fling the spell, aiming for the dragon's tail.

The beast reacts violently, in the process, the spell breaks the chains tethering it to the ground, finally freeing the beast from its restraints.

"Defodio!" Your girlfriend exclaims as she holds out her own wand, and soon enough, the dragon takes flight, bursting through the ceiling.

In an instant, Gringotts Bank is reduced to fragments of wood, glass and stone as the dragon flees the building, taking the four of you with it.

════════════════════════════════════════════

You have been on dragonback for what felt like hours, however an uncanny feeling of serenity, fills you as the beast flew through the air, past villages and hillsides.

As you approach the vast water, the dragon begins to fly lower; it appears the beast aims to halt its tiresome journey through the city soon.

"We're dropping!" Harry exclaims, panic begins to set in amongst the four of you once again.

"I say we jump!" Ron suggests, but you aren't particularly fond of the idea.

"What?" You bark.

"When?" Hermione chimes in.

"Now!" Harry responds as he lets go, you watched as he falls into the freezing water below.

He is quickly followed by Ron and Hermione, and you let out a groan as you release your grip on the dragon.

"Damn you, Weasley!" You exclaim as you freefall into the lake.

As your body touches the water, it immediately feels like hundreds of blistering hot knives are incessantly puncturing your skin.

It is almost unbearable, but then your head rises to the surface and pure instinct kicks in. The four of you, with some difficulty, eventually manage to swim to shore.

-

Hermione grabs your hand to help you up, in your weakened state you barely manage to climb the cliff.

Harry storms ahead, seemingly unaffected, no doubt driven by pure adrenaline.

"He knows." He blurts out.

"You know who." Harry explains, and Hermione lets go of your hand to catch up to the dark haired man.

"He knows we broke into Gringotts, he knows what we took, and he knows we're hunting Horcruxes." He admits.

"How is it you know?" You ask, jogging slightly to catch up, Ron following closely behind.

"You let him in?" Hermione asks, her tone dissaproving.

"Harry you can't do that–" She says but her bestfriend interrupts.

"Hermione, I can't always help it! Or maybe I can, I don't know." He retaliates.

"Never mind that, what happened?" You interject.

The four of you halt as you get to the top of the cliff.

"Well, he's angry– and scared too." Harry starts, he holds out his hands as Hermione retrieves her bottle of Essence Of Dittany from her bag.

She places a few drops on his palms, doing the same on yours, and then Ron's.

You rub your hands together as Harry continues speaking.

"He knows if we can find and destroy all the Horcruxes, we'll be able to kill him. I reckon he'll do anything to stop that happening." Harry finishes and you scowl at the thought.

Soon, the boys begin stripping so they may change into dry clothes.

Hermione instead retrieves a large blanket from her bag, she drapes it over you, before pulling you close to her body so she may share your warmth.

"There's more– one of them's at Hogwarts." Harry explains.

"What?" Ron says in disbelief and his friend only nods.

"You saw it?" Your girlfriend asks, skeptical.

Harry nods again.

"I saw the castle, and Rowena Ravenclaw. It must have something to do with her, we have to go there now." The Chosen One states, assuredly.

"What? We can't do that, we've got to plan, we've got to figure it out." Hermione counters.

"Hermione when have any of our plans ever actually worked?" Harry recounts, his gaze shifting between y/n, Hermione and Ron.

"We plan, we go there, all hell breaks lose." The dark haired man states, and neither of you have an argument, he was stating the plain truth.

"He's right– just one problem." Ron starts.

"Snape's headmaster now, we can't just walk through the front door."

Then there's a pause.

You can feel Hermione shivering against you, you swiftly wrap an arm around her, an attempt to keep her as close as possible.

"Well, then we'll go to Hogsmeade. To Honeydukes– take the secret passage." Harry offers a solution, and you nod in agreement.

"I think– there's something wrong with him–" He adds, and the three of you wait for Harry to explain.

"In the past, I've always been able to follow his thoughts– now everything just sort of feels disconnected." The dark haired man says, he adjusts the glasses on his face.

"Maybe it's the Horcruxes? Maybe he's growing weaker, maybe he's dying?" Ron suggests but Harry was quick to shake his head.

"No, it's more like he's wounded. If anything he feels more dangerous." Harry states plainly, and now you are shivering for an entirely different reason.

Hermione glances at you, as you exhange a look, you can't help but acknowledge that all too familiar sense of impotence as it looms over all of you.

The uncertainty and impending doom; it feels as though the more Horcruxes you uncover, the more uncertain the end seems.

[dissociacrip]

it might seem weird at first but it's true that having symptomatic joint hypermobility (meaning the "bad" kind of hypermobility that results in chronic pain, a proneness to dislocation/sublixation, etc. such as in EDS, hypermobility spectrum disorders, and other CTDs) doesn't necessarily mean being very flexible and sometimes this can potentially present a problem when it comes to accurate assessment and diagnosis. part of this is because flexibility doesn't just involve joints; it also involves muscles and other soft tissues.

i have generalized symptomatic hypermobility (either gHSD or hEDS, who knows because it's not like i'm getting properly diagnosed anytime soon) and i'm an 8/9 on the beighton scale. i've been incapable of touching my toes since elementary school because my hamstring muscles have shortened over time due to the strain from compensating for hyperextended joints and hypotonia. i can't meet the 9th beighton criteria where i place my palms flat on the floor without bending my knees, but that doesn't mean i don't have a hypermobile spine, because its my shortened hamstring muscles that are preventing the movement, not the joints. i was just doing stretches at the gym earlier today for cooldowns that looked absurdly easy for the able-bodied person in the video i was following but i couldn't bend my legs to the full extent that they did due to other shortened muscles in my legs, which is also a consequence of hyperextended joints and hypotonia.*** i think it's easy to guess why something like that might end up masking the full extent of joint hypermobility in some people.

(***for people who don't know what hypotonia is, it's when there's inadequate tension in the muscles in the resting state or in response to a passive stretch, such as posture. in other words, muscles are too loose, which can cause a myriad of really sucky problems! it's the result of CNS dysfunction and/or structural problems in the muscles - conditions like EDS and other CTDs sometimes involve hypotonia due how they can affect viscoelastic properties of muscles. while being characterised by "floppiness," hypotonia can still result in stiffness and shortening of the adductors, quadriceps, sub-occipital muscles, etc.)

in more extreme cases, this kind strain can lead to muscle contracture, which is when a muscle is permanently shortened and hardened. joints themselves can also become contractured, and as a matter of fact, contractures appear to be part of how some forms of EDS are identified, such as myopathic and musculocontractural EDS (it's even in the name of the last one.) this is a quote from someone with mcEDS from elhers-danlos.com ("Musculocontractural EDS: My puzzle pieces put together") though i know the EDS society doesn't have the best rep:

When I was born 8 weeks premature by emergency caesarean, the doctors and Mum and Dad were stunned. Apart from requiring life-saving treatment, I was floppy, and also had major obvious deformities of my limbs and dislocated hips. I had contractures in my hands, fingers, shoulders, hips, ankles and feet. I have very little muscle in my neck, arms and legs. I spent 10 weeks in NICU and was diagnosed with Arthrogryposis at birth.

(...)

The contractures affect me in different ways. My hands are always clenched, and they do not open out properly. I’m unable to tie my hair up myself unless I am lying on my back, which allows gravity to pull my arms back. I can’t put my hair behind my ears with my right hand unless I’m using my left hand to push it backwards. Although I am right handed, the fingers on my right hand don’t open more than 2 inches and I’m unable to pick anything up with that hand. My left hand is far more deformed, but I can grab things with that hand and use it to stabilise my right. I carry things on my right side in between my arm and torso in the crook of my elbow and I look like an axe murderer when holding a knife.

so yeah, ironically enough, sometimes being symptomatically hypermobile involves a limited range of motion rather than being especially flexible. that's your fun fact of the day!

[karlachismylife]

I think it's easier to live with as time goes on, esp with adhd it's become the background pain of my life lol, flair ups suck though for SURE. What is surprising is how much I can move even though it hurts because of the pressure lol. I used to do ballet stuff so flexibility isn't an issue. And honestly thank you for sympathizing because you have no idea how many people assume that just cause I don't look like I'm constantly uncomfortable and in pain that means I'm not. It's like no dude my feet feel like they're burning and I'm pretty sure my legs are locked to prevent them from shaking but fuck it we ball. I did get prescribed a new medicine though so I don't have to constantly take ibuprofen and it works really well! The pressure is still there but not the pain. Btw you don't have to keep answering these with the hc's if you're low on juice. Just being able to talk about this without feeling like I have to defend my own pain cause I'm younger. It's like if you're under 30 people think you can't possibly have pain XD

(for other comrades - prev post here)

Me and my inner Soap got so stuck on that ballet part, not gonna lie... I smacked him upside his silly puppy head though, don't worry. Jokes aside, though, that's incredibly impressive, wow, you're just a star, aren't you? Cuz I have quite an understanding of how hard it is (mum did ballet and told tales) and I have nothing but respect for anyone who can endure it, honestly, superhuman shit.

Ugh, I already got frustrated with them people on your account. As if they wouldn't give you shit if you demonstrated that you don't feel well. Dumb. I feel like 141 boys wouldn't like that you're kinda masking it, though. They wanna take care of you, for Ghost it's almost the sole driving force of his life, but they all get off acts of service and care, because, well, that's what they are, four big brutal service dogs. So if one of them sniffs out you're hiding how uncomfortable your current seat is or that you got tired of standing, for example, in a checkout queue at the store - there's gonna be so much grumbling, oh boy, and you're getting scooped up immediately to be relocated somewhere you can actually get comfy and relax.

Good thing there's new meds! Already said, Ghost's picking them up and clinking glasses with you to take them together with his drug cocktail, before you get to chase Soap around the house like a dog that doesn't want to take its pills. He would still keep the painkillers always on hand, though, just in case, you know - what if it flares or something happens. And for Price.

Price would SO understand that stupid ass stigma and bias though, because he's actually not an old man and was even younger when he messed up his back, plus he's in the military, so everyone always assumes that he's in his top shape and if he shows he isn't, he just gets dragged by others. Or maybe not dragged, cuz people are rightfully afraid of him, but it's the looks he gets that get under his skin and make him so self-conscious. And the days when you need his help but he can't pick you up properly? He feels like a failure. So all this people talk and internal exhaustion from the constant presense of this shite in your life is very very familiar to him. Letting some steam off while you both just tear apart some ugly ass knob that made a sarcasting note about you when you sat on a free seat in the subway? Sure, Price made that balding bitch almost piss himself for that, but it doesn't mean he won't have some more nice words to say about people like him who decide who gets to sit and who doesn't.

[theteasnake]

Die with a smile

I had this idea in my head for a while and just needed to write it out.

As the sun sets, everyone retreats to their home. To have dinner with family, to settle down for slumber, or to just watch some good ol tv. The sun sets and yet you're still standing in your little flower shop.

The street outside the glass door lights up with the automatic lamps. It leaves an eerie feeling, but at this point, it's a norm. Countless lockups lead to over cleaning which leads to more work having to be done. The more time you spend here, the more work you find.

Trim the wilted flowers. Sweep the floors. Wait, mop them, and then sweep them. Oh, some papers need to be filled out. You should organize them alphabetically while you're at it. Actually, scratch that, by date. Oldest to newest. Or maybe newest to oldest?

Why didn't you do this earlier? It's cause you never have time. People come in, they go, more people come in, then they go. And you're only one person and, of course, everyone has questions.

Order flowers. Rearrange some of the showcases. Shit, some bouquets need to be finished by tomorrow, might as well get them done now before you forget.

Late nights, early mornings. How are you even still standing? Caffeine and determination. But even that's starting to lose effect. What was once a beautiful fixation turned into waking up with dread. Sometimes you wish you were still a blissful college student, eyes bright with ambition now dulled from exhaustion and lack of proper sleep.

Your life is lacking. You thought colorful flowers could paint your black-and-white world with the same hues. Now they just stick out like a sore thumb. Unknowingly mocking you. Poetic beauts, aren't they?

You heave a sigh, letting your shoulders sag, as you finish up the last of the work. What time is it? Eleven? No, it's one in the morning. Just like usual.

Things are cleaned. Papers filled out. Tomorrow's orders are done. You run through a mental checklist one last time as you hear a faint chime. The front doorbell rings out, doing its job of notifying you of a customer.

God, people just can't read signs nowadays.

"Excuse me, but we're clo-" You cut yourself off as you stare at a mask within a dark void. No, that mask is attached to someone. Something. Dark clothes barely visible in the low light.

A glimmer of a knife in his hand has you taking a deep breath in. You know who this is. You know how the night will end. But you don't know why.

You're not his usual targets. You're not some common joe. Not some local sunshine that everyone loves. The only thing you offer to others is your flowers. You're not someone that'll draw attention to this little town.

Ah.

Your shop. It will be shut down without an owner. And with it, the town would be deprived of flowers until another shop opens up.

Beloved shop closes due to owner's death. How tragic.

The wind gets knocked out from your lungs as a burning sensation grows in your gut. You gasp and choke on your own breath, leaning against the thing in front of you. Cold leather meets your warm skin.

The knife slowly pulls out, the intruder getting ready to plunge it into your side again.

"W-wait," you weakly paw at his hand, trying to stop him. "One second... please," you plead, eyes fixated on the street, trying to ground yourself.

Your wishes fall on deaf ears as the knife finds a new spot to nestle into. You wheeze out, biting back tears.

He pushes you off of him and you stumble back, finding stability on one of the counters.

Your head is dizzy, adrenaline preventing any feeling of pain but that doesn't stop the numbness slowly creeping up.

You lose your footing, gripping onto the tablecloth as you fall to the ground. Sounds of glass vases hitting the ground echo through the room. But that doesn't matter. It all doesn't matter anymore. Because the most beautiful scene is right in front of you.

Flower petals float about in the moonlight, without a care in the world as they slowly fall to the ground. Acanthus, sticky catchflies, agrimonys, arnicas, celandines, asphodels, and rainflowers.

You reach out as your vision starts to darken, wanting to hold onto something. A sad smile replaces your frown. You're finally able to see what others see. Your colorless world gained hue. And you're dying.

A click and a shutter draws your attention to the looming figure above you. A picture. You want to see it. But it's too late. You can feel yourself slipping.

"It's... beautiful," you whisper out, making the killer pause in his movements. He seemed... confused? Maybe curious. Who knows. You for sure won't.

You close your eyes as you hear the faint chime, letting you know that you are now alone. Alone with your flowers. Alone. But it's peaceful. So quiet. So calm. Yeah, you think you're fine with this. With dying. You don't think you would even want to do anything else after this. You've achieved what you wanted and now it's all over. And that's fine.

[spicehill]

inescapable paths of purpose, meaning in meaninglessness

or: why the path of nihility suits jiaoqiu so much better than abundance ever could, and it's fitting that his kit has no added healing. warning ahead for......... kinda rambling and talking in circles about this guy lmao. does this even make sense?????? help???????? uhhh... a tl;dr:

ah! would you look over there, it's my shameless favorite tv trope article happening off-screen in his backstory, break the cutie!

honestly it's kinda funny that both jiaoqiu and the emanator of nihility don't have a sense of taste anymore. the spice really is just to feel something. anything

somehow I didn't get to talk directly about him having like 4 different hats he wears and the fascinating psychology of role identities. how.

tried to get tf out of this field and they keep pulling me back in.

ms. arbiter general feixiao please one chance ( to prevent me, your loyal and devoted retainer jiaoqiu, from falling into utter and unending despair now that i've invested any remaining sense of purpose I have in this life in your survival )

jiaoqiu's character stories start and end in the same place, with him on the shore of rainsoar lake: the setting is the same, the environment the same, the beautiful details that paint the picture of a welcoming, pleasant place are unchanging.

the only thing that has changed is jiaoqiu.

he does not bother with the rain that runs down his ears now, he does not find anything to appreciate in the mild, sweet taste of wild rice. and even though he now sees his time here in the lake as serving a new endeavor, one that pulls him away from the pain and pointlessness of medicine, he is about to start anew on the path that he tried to leave in the first place: a single new patient, one with an affliction more challenging to cure than any wound he ever saw on the battlefield.

how did he get here?

bear with me through a short personal anecdote -- it grounds a lot of my perception of finding purpose -- a vivid memory I have of a conversation when I was younger with my father concluded with him telling me something. not everyone feels the need to find their purpose in their work, and that's okay. it's more strange to need your work to fulfill your life's purpose than not. and he felt that was important because, as the child of educators, I had only ever known adults who derive a deep sense of meaning and purpose from their work and the way they help others.

medicine, like education, is a field built of devotion, compassion. it is a selfish selflessness: by merely participating in it, you are seeking meaning and purpose. and as the child of prominent alchemists, I wouldn't doubt that jiaoqiu had never really known any adults who didn't help others while growing up, either.

that's kind of where his character stories start: the first time he's at rainsoar lake, he's young, enthusiastic, pleasant, hopeful. at the start, his demeanor isn't a diplomatic mask: its genuine, along with his desire to help others who need the most help on the yaoqing, cloud and verdant knights who face countless battles. maybe at this point in his life, several centuries prior, he would've walked the path of abundance with ease.

but that is not the man you meet now: the one we meet in-game wears politeness and pleasantries as a front most of the time, worries and plans almost-constantly, and really doesn't even think well of himself. jiaoqiu a harsh critic of his own shortcomings and mistakes, and isn't a stranger to feeling like a mistake or shortcoming of his own has happened. the contrast between the way he treats others ( pleasantness, gentleness, patience ) and the way he treats himself ( criticism, frustration, disappointment ), I think, is one of the first big hints we get outside of his character stories for traits that actually suit the path of nihility well.

to the next point, and circling back to his character stories: I always found it interesting that the drip marketing released for jiaoqiu portrayed his initial departure from medicine as being due to a broken heart.

this doesn't seem like it was a mistranslation or miscommunication with the localization, even though brokenheartedness is often associated with romance or love for another person of some kind. heartbreak is also when something is soul-crushing; heartbreak is falling out of love against your will with something you deeply loved once before. heartbreak is also irredeemable loss, often unsalvageable and irreversible. jiaoqiu's brokenheartedness stems from losing his passion for healing, his sense of purpose, and losing his sense of taste, all three of which were always deeply intertwined and interconnected.

character story details seem to suggest that his loss of taste may actually be physical more than psychological due to exposure to the lux arrow bombardment in the third abundance war: he was close enough to the impact that killed the previous arbiter general of the yaoqing while rescuing feixiao that it's almost like he has taste loss due to radiation exposure. combined with the building sense of pointlessness in his work as a military healer, seeing all his effort to help others and ease their suffering wasted again and again, he left healing after that -- seemingly to start a restaurant, which he called rainsoar eatery -- to try to salvage the little sense of purpose he has left after years and years as a healer made him feel purposeless.

the funny thing about cooking is that it's also a profession of compassion where your work is meant to help others -- cooking makes people happy, makes them feel warm, full. it's more temporary than medicine, but is a form of medicine of it's own right. in a way, jiaoqiu was still searching for purpose and meaning in his work, but now his scale and sense of personal impact was much smaller, much more temporary. he doesn't seem to believe at this point in his life that he's still capable of a larger impact. thus, in lost and adrift, the order of magnitude in which he describes impact are two extremes: either saving one person ( easy ) or saving the world ( impossible ). this is another signature conundrum of someone who has lost their way when their sense of self-meaning has been derived from work of compassionate service: what's the point of doing the hardest work if I can't really make a difference?

seeing pointlessness in effort spent on helping others is nihilistic, though it seems like jiaoqiu is still holding onto some hope for meaning.

so when his master from the alchemy commission comes to find him again years after the third abundance war at his restaurant near the lakeshore, he came with the purpose of persuading jiaoqiu to take on one more patient. just one, who his master promises will help him understand a healer's purpose -- and she's perhaps the most impossible person to heal in the world.

but he's saving all his medical effort for her: genuinely healing you is effort poorly spent. you're no longer part of his sense of purpose. thus far, I think working for feixiao has already redefined some of his sense of magnitude of impact, working to try and cure feixiao -- saving one person, in this case, is very important. and maybe the impossibility of the task is part of the point: it won't stop him from trying everything he can anyway.

[chicxibalba]

cool four knights of gwyn headcanons

the age of fire lasted for thousands of years. kingdoms rose and fell, people lived and died. the only constants were the lords, anor londo itself, and ultimately, each other.

the dragonslayer, ever the busybody, took great pride on his cooking. what began as a necessity for survival turned into a genuine passion. you will never see him with a smile, but you will see one close enough when he's taking care of you with a hot meal.

the hawkeye is almost totally singular in his kind. born from the archtrees themselves far to the north, he was always compelled to wear a mask of some kind. his faceless visage was unsightly and unsettling to newcomers, even in spite of his good heart.

the lord's blade was never quite normal, or not as normal as she wished she were. she is a habitual liar, seeding falsehoods on reflex. it's easier to dress up the truth, to sweeten it, to just not be yourself. she wishes she could be honest with those close to her. it's safer for them is she's not.

the humble knight, a medial born among mortals, was born well after the dragon wars. his colleagues would never let him forget this, even when he went on to slay dragons of his own. the knight would never feel completely appreciated in his time, at least, not until the Abyss began to eat him alive.

the dragon slayer lived to serve. he served the Firstborn, he served his Lord, he served his compatriots. he and the lord's blade had known each other for a long time, since before they were even knighted. they served together in the war, became intimate. he feels the worst about how he was unable to prevent what she's become.

the hawkeye never understood romance so well. call it a cultural dissonance, or something else, but the drive isn't there. he has those who his is close with, though, from the blacksmith to his fellow knights. he is happy to let one rest with him, lay on him, tell him about their day. he never touched them back, not with his giant hands. not unless they ask.

the lord's blade is well acquainted with pain. she was born into it, living by it, in the form of a thousand cuts, burns, tears. her skin is painted in them. pain is satisfying, pain is cathartic, pain is pleasure. pain means that she is doing well. one day it will conquer her, but until then her every ache is a badge of honor.

the knight had always found himself the subject of the attentions of the other three. how couldn't he be? he'd always had a certain heart about him that simmered their suspicion and distance into true appreciation, brought them closer to him and to each other. his jokes, his wisdom, his love. the world was lighter with him.

the dragonslayer has family out there--sisters, nephews, nieces. he isn't acquainted with any of them anymore, and lost track of them quite a while ago. some intermarried with humans, gave birth to children with stunted mortalities. he himself always wondered if he could be a father, and raise a child better than his own had. his vows forbid it, but if things were different, together with his companions...

the hawkeye was fascinated by faces. lordranian giants had faces: humans had faces; gods had faces. they had eyes, noses, mouths. they blinked, smiled, growled, flushed red, drained pale. there was a little envy there, in how the dragonslayer might kiss his hand, or the lord's blade might share with him a truly rare smile. in how the dear knight might share a cup of tea with him, and describe its flavor. the faces he wishes he could share back, he whittles into wood.

the lord's blade wants to give back. these people in her life, these rocks of hers among a morbid blur, are all she has. she doesn't know how to. she doesn't even know where to begin. she has to be invited into love, into intimacy, and gradually warmed to it, before she even thinks herself worthy of it. in the end, she barely makes it. it's worth it all the same.

the knight hid when he first began to fall sick. he hidea his cold shivers, his inky-black coughs, his violent panic attacks. he catches himself in the mirror one morning. he's pale, utterly ashen, out of breath from the lightest exertion. his hand lays over his heart--it's racing. that sullen green ring hugs his finger, the symbol of his covenant with the Serpent. they can't know what he's done. they can't know what he's sacrificed to do the good he's always wished to do. they can never know what New Londo took from him the night it fell, and what he took from it in turn. they would despise him. hate him. throw him out. and then, just like in the beginning, he would be nothing.

[nanomooselet]

Episode Seven: Wolfwood

It's a lovely evening in No Man's Land, and you are a horrible cultist.

The more I think about the idea that Legato wasn't ordered to do this, the more sense it makes to me. Let's do a count of assets this craziness puts into peril. We have the Punisher, highly chemically compatible and on an assignment already, who really doesn't need to be under more stress. We have the Doublefang, who's even better than the Punisher since he heals without the drugs, and through him Wolfwood learns that the Eye of Michael can't be trusted to keep its word.

We have the Plant aboard the steamer, as Zazie points out, and I'm not sure Legato is as concerned about it as he claims to be. We have the steamer itself, a relic of the spacefaring age with plenty of still-functional technology on board even if the humans can't do much with it. (And isn't that interesting? They seem to have just stuck a steam engine in there and closed off the rest. Cool worldbuilding details.) It travels to and from July - I suspect it carries at least some cargo and personnel for the cult. Speaking of, we have Hopeland Orphanage and its stock of potential subjects, which we know for a fact the Eye has its stamp on.

Finally we have Vash, who's one of the cult's figures of worship. He's the only living thing that Legato's "beautiful angel" truly cares about. Even if Legato's plan is a success, is achieving Wolfwood's perfect loyalty worth losing any one of the rest, let alone Vash? I really have to wonder how Legato planned to explain any of this.

Of course, he does explain, doesn't he? You must give up on your little brother and face reality. I must take everything you love from you so that you can fulfil your noble purpose as a weapon. What we're seeing is Legato's first demonstration of his character to come, building sadistic traps to force painful choices upon his target, but also a glimpse of what awaits Vash at the end of his journey. Where could Legato have learned his definition of love? And let's not forget that he refers to his feelings as love in the first place.

He's such a drama queen. Can't wait to see him ruining everything next season.

So much in this two-parter is amazing, but I think a somewhat underrated moment is Vash preventing Wolfwood from killing Livio with that insane trick shot. My boy frees Wolfwood from a horrific mental trap because no one should have to choose between the things that they love, the things that keep them alive. Best of boys. Precious darling. He wants so, so badly for there to be a way out for him.

I'm hesitant to discuss Livio that much, because we, uh, really don't learn that much about him? We see the sad little boy in Nick's memories - which I have reason to suspect are not entirely the objective truth - and we have the stumbling puppet who boards the steamer. He isn't in a position to make his thoughts known, except once, and, well… it’s a decisive demonstration. But one that precludes any further participation. I have read the manga, yes, and I know what he's like there, but my feeling is that's more what he'll become than what he is now. There seems to be one fairly significant change, however: Razlo, and Livio's attitude toward him.

Razlo's there. I'm sure he's there. But is he always there in the same way? Is Livio so out of it because he's under the mask's control, or is it Razlo the mask keeps supressed? And when it becomes damaged, why does what Livio see in the mirror so horrify him? Does Livio even know who else is in his mind?

(We get our first glimpse of Chapel, too.)

(Somehow I feel like I'm not going to be a fan of this guy.)

They didn't save Livio, but he got to make a choice. Even if it was a choice they wish he hadn't made.

Speaking of choices!

Meryl and Roberto continue to be the show's main source of comedy - the dub work for the Bad Lads Gang is so funny. Poor Meryl's teary little face when they bring up the Worms. Them being all excited about getting on the cover of an outlaw magazine, whatever that is. Roberto just being all welp, this might as well happen when he learns the faltering steamer has a space age cannon stuck to the top and that still works.

Not enough booze in the world.

And then Meryl makes a choice. Roberto's right, on some level - they're not soldiers. They're not fighters. By any sane standard this is not their fucking job. But there is no one else who can do it. Regardless of ability, there's simply no one else who's been given the choice between standing there, taking the risk, or fleeing with the knowledge you could have done something and didn't. So Meryl makes her stand... and I realised that Roberto does too, because he faces the same choice. They all do! There's something they all want to protect more than anything else. Such different people with such vastly different skills and life experiences all have something in common, and they work together to realise their purpose. It's the second time in the series this has happened and disaster's been averted with their efforts. I just!

Of course then things get even crazier and we move into what might be among my favourite action sequences in the entire series? It's admittedly hard to narrow it down. This has been extensively dissected elsewhere, but it really might have the most beautiful cinematography (especially in the Plant room - ethereal, and then the hard cut comparison to the steel and scorching flesh of Wolfwood's efforts and I'm reduced to helpless arm-waving). But I think there's one detail I want to emphasise?

Cool watery blue and burning fiery orange-red, yes. Gorgeous contrast. But both also have just a dash of the opposing colours. The two aren't so far apart, each holding part of the other - fundamentally connected, in spite of all the ways they're different.

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

🧚‍♀️ Anon

I had some more ideas for Darling’s Stand

Darling’s Stand is a total menace to others and herself (It has a separate conscience from Darling)

I can see it be a long distance Stand and if attacked Darling won’t get hurt

Darling’s stand can be called either ‘Mortician’ or ‘Misfit’ (It’s based off Bands known for their music being inspired by Old Horror Movies)

Darling’s Stand might have 2-3 forms the 1st one is based off the phone charm you mentioned (The texting and charm idea I thought was really cute), the 2nd Form is that that of a Landline Telephone (Like the one Casey Becker had in the first Scream Movie) that can communicate and speak with others (Even in different voices, but mainly uses a guys’ voice and gets very threatening if more rules get broken) that even non Stand Users can see it (She’s unaware of this because she doesn’t know what a Stand is or the fact she even has one until later)

And the final form is that of a Masked Killer/Attacker that takes form if you break all of rules Darling’s Stand placed (This Stand is an absolute menace) mainly because you pissed it off bad enough after breaking all the rules it placed (It gets angry if you break its 3 simple rules, said rules are always Horror Movie Rules)

Maybe depending on the rules and who they’re given to it affects not just person’s surroundings in simple ways (Like your car suddenly stops working or the phones don’t have a signal, like in the movies) but also individuals, like you become invulnerable to pain and can’t die for 1 to 24 hours? Or you suddenly have the worst luck ever and you constantly trip over your own feet even if you’re one of the best athletes ever

I’m not really good at Stands so this is the best I could think of, tell me what you think?

Josuke is the killer, I just think it would be cool for this Stand to be a Red Herring, like despite it being a menace it doesn’t wish harm on its User Darling (Especially because Darling understands the Rules it places) it just likes to mess with her (Like an annoying sibling that purposely messes with you but they actually do care about you)

Also, I’m really happy you like my ideas! I kinda went ham and maybe overboard with this so I wouldn’t be bothered if you wanted to change some stuff about this Stand around

Kudos!

Ok I've been thinking it. I think misfit would be great, especially with how it acts.

Yeah the act ideas great. I think the charm look would have chibi version of it's act 3 design (act 2 probably has a sticker with the same design and both 1 and two having a label with the stand name) others will just assume it's from some obscure mascot/merch line.

A quick mock up of act one I drew. (Not very good at stand designs but I tried)

The third form would look a lot more like a traditional humanoid stand. With more of a grotesque appearance.

Act 1 is it's dormant form. Always around unless it switches forms. Only affecting the user.

Act 2 would appear as the landline phone and will appear randomly around a nearby area to the user. As long as you don't answer the phone you'll be fine. Pick it up though and it'll give it's rules and a time limit. The victim can not get rid of the phone til time is up or they die.

act 3 is it's enraged form. If all three rules are broken it attacks the victim itself. It doesn't do much to help the user besides preventing them from dying for a certain amount of time, still can feel the pain though.

This would be really detrimental to darling, especially with trying to maintain her normal life and avoiding any connection to her father.

Unfortunately that means any murders of people that came to close to knowing the truth or harmed darling are immediately assumed to be the stand and not a potential stalker.