#It doesn't help that he seems into me... If someone is... Emotionally distant then at least it's like... OK...

[lacedbykami]

˙ . ꒷ 🍰 . 𖦹˙—𝐇𝐐 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐇𝐂𝐒! - multi!

⋆𖦹⋆ˎˊ˗ synopsis: what its like dating them, hcs, etc <3 [♡] including: suna, bokuto, suga, oikawa, kenma; cute hcs, might make some parts to this

SUNA RINTARO.

╰┈➤ what its like dating him- slow makeout sessions in the dark, sharing playlist while talking shit about weirdos at school, going down random fight pages tg, falling asleep on each other, the faint smell of cologne and fresh laundry, random love bites.

ᰔ alot of people seem to think he's the stoner, non-chalant, distant type. Suna rintarou? not in the slighest. not with you. He sends you random brainrot memes at 3 am, spams your phone when you don't respond in 0.1 seconds and gives you the cold shoulder when yall can't sleep call

ᰔ doesn't really mind pda, he's just really chill about it. Whether its resting his chin ontop of your head, holding your hand, you resting your head on his shoulder, kissing you. Suna doesn't make a big deal out of it, if someone sees they see. (His heart beats fast in his chest when you kiss him suddenly <3)

BOKUTO KOTARO.

╰┈➤ what its like dating him — random ' i love you's,' princess hugs, kisses littered all over your skin, matching phone cases, movie nights with him falling asleep first, running out in the rain, cheering him on at his games, being carried on his shoulders soon after <3

ᰔ always texts you goodmorning as soon as he wakes up; like no I don't mean oh lemme drink some water and get up, no. This man, that can barely even see his screen will text you "GOODMORNING PRETTY BABY.' at 5am before falling back asleep.

ᰔ very emotionally mature actually; bokuto isn't stupid by any means. He pays close attention to your expressions and how you move, so before you even get properly upset he's already asking whats wrong before you go quiet. And he never tries to fix you or help you right away, he knows you'd ask. So he simply pulls you into his arms and whispers sweet words into your skin as he waits until youre ready to talk.

SUGAWARA KOUSHI.

╰┈➤ what its like dating him — late night calls filled with giggling and deep conversations, warm hoodies he "leaves" at your place on accident, cheek kisses everytime he has to leave, dates at the park on nice days, your first kiss under the stars, princess treatment

ᰔ never lets you open a car door: Suga will actually jog around the car just to open it for you first. Doesn’t matter if it's raining, snowing, or if you're in a rush — he gets genuinely offended if you try to do it yourself. “Excuse me,” he’ll pout, “I thought I was your boyfriend.” And yes, he does the hand-on-your-lower-back assist when you sit down like it’s second nature.

ᰔ He’s the kind of boyfriend who smiles like you hung the stars just for existing: Calls you nicknames like sweetheart, baby, and sometimes when he’s sleepy or extra soft, my love.

OIKAWA TOORU.

╰┈➤ what it's like dating him — endless selfies (with you in every single one), coffee shop dates where he insists on ordering for you with a smirk, forehead kisses before games, wearing his team jacket that's definitely too big for you, dramatic love letters left in your locker or slipped under your door, dressing you up and posting you on his instagram

ᰔ Treats you like royalty and wants everyone to know you’re his: Expect hand-holding 24/7, even in public, even in summer. He’s constantly fixing your hair or tucking it behind your ear, just to have an excuse to touch you. “You're so pretty, y’know that? I’m gonna have to fight people off again today.”

ᰔ He’s the kind of boyfriend who gets jealous of your dog: Will pout if you give the dog more kisses than him. “I’m cuter, right? Right?” But also, he’ll take 800 photos of you cuddling your pet and use them as his lockscreen.

KENMA KOZUME.

╰┈➤ what it’s like dating him — building a world together in animal crossing, lazy mornings tangled in blankets and soft touches, sharing a single pair of earbuds on the train, him letting you rest your legs over his lap while he games, forehead kisses when he's too shy for words, ganging up on annoying kids in roblox

ᰔ does little things for you: Adds a player two charm to his switch just for you. Buys you little things that remind him of you, even if he doesn't say it out loud. Texts you “eat something” or “get some rest” because he’s thinking about you nonstop, even if he’s too shy to say I miss you.

ᰔ purs when you play with his hair/scratch his head: It starts as a quiet hum, almost imperceptible — but the second your fingers slide into his hair and scratch gently at his scalp, Kenma practically melts. His eyes flutter shut, body going limp against you like a sleepy cat. You’ll hear the tiniest, most content sigh escape him, and if you listen closely, a low, pleased hum in the back of his throat.

If he’s laying on your chest, he’ll nuzzle in closer and mumble something like, “Don’t stop… that feels really nice.”

And if you tease him for it?

His cheeks go pink instantly. “I don’t purr,” he grumbles — but the moment your fingers go back to work, that little sound comes right back. Every time.

[mrfoox]

Um... Me trying to not be obsessive and possessive and annoying with new people is honestly such a clown fest. Like 🧍hi, I miss you, we spent time together yesterday 🧍 but I miss you and wonder when I can see you again 🧍 are you well? 🧍 What are you doing? 🧍Hello

[rafescherie]

✮⋆˙ young rafe & his feelings for his childhood best friend.

cherie's note — rafe is such a complex character, sometimes i like to think of what could have happened for him to be such an emotionally reckless person. i hope someone enjoys this, lowk me just being a nerd. ˙ᵕ˙

as a kid, rafe doesn't really understand what he's feeling, you know? growing up with an emotionally unavailable father will do that to you, paving the way to a life full of resentment and bottling feelings. he liked you before he had even been educated about crushes. he just knows that he always wants you around, that he's protective over you like no other, and that something feels... different ... when you're together. too young to understand the concept of crushes, he feels a possessiveness he can't explain when other kids show interest in you. if anyone even so much as glances at you for too long, rafe gets a little prickly, but doesn't voice it. probably brushes it off with a snarky comment or by joking around, but the truth is, it bugs him more than he lets on.

he's fucking heartbroken when your family moves — it shatters rafe in ways he can't fully understand. the final day you hang out, he acts like it doesn't bother him. he masks the sting with jokes and teasing, but deep down, he's devastated. he hides it, though, obviously. he doesn't want to show weakness. after you leave though, he throws himself into distractions, struggling to cope with the concept of not having her around — this is when his reckless behavior, and holding in his feelings really surge. he never fully recovers from the void you left.

as a teenager, the years go on — rafe grows distant and cold, he builds walls around himself, but in the quiet moments, he remembers his childhood best friend — you. it's a bittersweet kind of memory, the kind of memory that stays in the back of his mind, poking at him when he's feeling particularly vulnerable. even as he gets older, he's never truly let go.

if he's being honest with himself, he seems to seek you out in every girl he meets, but no one compares to the memory of you.

and when you finally return to the island? grown into your body perfectly, and now a young woman? rafe's world is flipped upside down. his first instinct is disbelief — the girl he remembers is now a woman. he can't stop staring, and it's almost like seeing her for the first time all over again. his feelings from back then come rushing back, but now they're more intense — he knows what he's feeling now. he can't help but feel self-conscious about the fact that you've changed so much and he hasn't.

despite the fact that rafe has built a tough exterior over the years, when he sees you again, that instinct to protect comes rushing back, stronger than ever. he's not the same sweet, naive boy he once was, but he still wants to keep you safe — and now, he has no idea how to navigate those feelings in the context of their adulthood.

rafe doesn't know how to handle the feelings that resurface — hitting him with a force way harder than he had anticipated. he's older now, but still the same kid in a lot of ways. his usual sarcastic remarks and defensive behaviour come into play, but there's an underlying tension in the way he acts around you. he tries to downplay it, but it's obvious to anyone watching that the spark between the both of you is undeniable.

[diarylogbook08]

🎭 ATEEZ Reaction to You Getting Cheated On 

You’re their best friend and they just found out you were cheated on by your partner. Here’s how each member reacts.

Ps : gifs are mostly mine except for Yungi !!

Seonghwa

How he finds out: He’s hanging out with you and suddenly notices you zoning out, tears welling up. When he gently asks, you break down and tell him everything.

First reaction: Eyes widen. "He did what exactly ?" his voice low and cold. But quickly he pulls you into the gentlest hug, completely silent at first. Your feelings are his top priority.

Anger level: Oh, he’s angry. Just quiet, cold rage. You’ll never hear him say the name again — they doesn’t deserve to exist in your world anymore.

How he comforts you: Cleans your tears with his sleeves, whispers soft encouragement. He gives you space if you need it but will sit beside you all night. Very expressive and emotionally open. He talks a lot, wanting to help you process everything. Makes sure you never feel alone.

“You didn’t deserve that, not even a little.”

Hongjoong

How he finds out: You call him late at night, your voice shaky and quiet — too quiet.

“Tell me exactly what happened.” Instant switch into protective mode. He’s calm but you can feel the anger brewing under his words.

First reaction : Calm but tense. Rage simmering just beneath the surface. He wants to destroy your ex, but always careful to focus on your feelings first. He listens patiently and then makes sure you know your worth. He doesn’t go straight for anger — but oh boy if he hears your ex’s name again...

Anger level : Definitely at the highest level possible, and it shows. You hear him mutter, “If I see that asshole, I’m knocking teeth out.”

How he comforts you: He’s mature and knows you need someone to listen and hold space. He’s calm but fierce inside, prioritizing your feelings first. He listens deeply, asking gentle questions to make sure you feel heard. Stays on the phone all night, even if you fall asleep crying.

“You’re not alone. I’m not going anywhere.”

Extra: Will absolutely write a diss track in his studio later that night — not for public release, but therapeutic rage.

Yunho

How he finds out: You text him — short, broken sentences hinting at something wrong. Immediately worried, texts back with care, and asks if he can come over or call. When you confirm, he gets there ASAP.

When he sees you, your face tells everything. He's silent, and then his jaw clenches.

“Who do I need to kill?” — half-joking, but not really.

First reaction : Hot-blooded, but reels it in fast. He’s immediately pissed and ready to confront your ex verbally or physically.

Anger level: Wants to fight. Probably punches a pillow or storms around when you’re not looking.

“If he ever comes near you again, I’m not holding back.”

How he comforts you: Huge bear hugs, rubs your back gently. He keeps you laughing in between tears, and distracts you in healthy ways. But his protective vibe never leaves. He’d slap that jerk if he had the chance.

“I’ll always be here. You know that, right?”

Yeosang

How he finds out: Notices a change in your mood when hanging out, you seem distant and quiet.

First reaction: Sharp silence. He stares at you, trying to read every micro-expression. Quiet and observant, asks if something’s wrong softly. When you break down, He’s shocked but hides it to stay strong for you. Then he pulls you into a "akward" hug.

Anger level : Emotionally reserved, but deeply caring. He doesn't show it, but he's seething.

How he comforts you: Brings comfort food and makes you binge-watch dramas. He listens, but doesn’t force you to talk.

“You deserve better. So much better.”

Extra: Sends your ex a long, cold message later. No cursing — just surgical savagery.

San

How he finds out: You cancel on a hangout last minute — very unlike you. He drops by and finds you crying on your bed.

“Who did this to you?” — he’s pissed instantly, and it shows.

First reaction: Clenches jaws, ready to fight at 200 %. “What ? He cheated on you?” But he sees your tears not stopping, he drops everything and hugs you tightly. 

“You’re way too good for someone like that.”

Anger level : Might actually go confront the guy. Someone stop him: He wants to throw hands !

“I swear, if I see that guy, he’s gonna regret it.”

How he comforts you: Holds you like you’ll break and whispers things like, “He didn’t deserve you. Never did.” Paces the room like a lion until you calm down. He reminds you how amazing you are and that you didn't deserve someone like your ex.

Extra: Might cry with you. Emotionally intuitive. Makes you feel like you’re not broken — just healing.

Mingi

How he finds out: You randomly say “They cheated on me,” mid-conversation like it’s nothing — because you’ve been bottling it up.

First reaction: Mingi freezes. Then he gets up and starts pacing, hands in his hair, visibly frustrated.

“What an asshole !!”

Anger level : Torn. Shocked and angry, but tries to laugh with you to ease the pain. Wants to scream but can’t stand seeing you cry, so he hugs you instead.

How he comforts you: Emotional teddy bear mode activated. Long hugs, crying with you, giving big warm speeches about how you’re worth so much more.

“They just dosen't deserve you, they don't deserve your tears, you're so amazing”

Extra: Will accidentally send an “I hope you step on Legos forever” message to your ex. Doesn’t regret it.

Wooyoung

How he finds out: You text him asking : “Are you free? I need you.” That’s all it takes — he knows something’s wrong. Comes ASAP and when he see you, immediately notices your red eyes.

“Wait. What happened? Are you crying?”

First reaction: Goes from 0 to 100. Gets hot-headed immediately — fires off 200 insults about your ex before even hearing the full story. Is very vocal about how terrible your partner is. Wants to call them out or at least rant with you. Then holds your hand and softens.

“You didn’t deserve that. I hate seeing you like this.”

Anger level: Ready to ruin your ex’s life. Will barely restrains himself.

How he comforts you: Throws his arms around you, does everything to make you laugh. Would 1000% pull up with a full PowerPoint on why your ex is trash and you’re a goddess.

Extra: Starts a full “delete your ex from the planet” montage with you — deleting pics, blocking them, affirming your worth the whole time.

Jongho

How he finds out: You’re out grabbing coffee and he notices you're not eating, barely smiling. He gets it out of you.

First reaction: Lips pressed into a thin line. “He cheated on you?” He’s calm, but scary calm — his silence is heavy.

Anger level: Lowkey threatening. If he sees your ex, he might not throw a punch, but he’ll make sure the guy feels two inches tall.

“Tell me his name. I just want to talk…” (He doesn't just want to talk.)

How he comforts you: Keeps his arm around your shoulders the whole time. Brings your favorite snack without saying a word.

“You're stronger than this. But you don’t have to be right now.”

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🌙 let me know which reaction hit you the hardest 🥲 or which member you’d want comforting you IRL…

💬 reblogs + comments always mean a lot <3

✨ requests are open if you want more scenarios like this!

And i wish you all a very nice day 🫶🥰

[moonlight-prose]

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

a/n: all i'm gonna say is this song is so benny coded i'm losing my shit over it. he's absolutely the man to leave you in tears by the end of the night. also someone stop me from writing heaps of angst for him, because i genuinely can't stop making wips in my drafts for him. this is entirely unedited because fuck it and i'm nervous he doesn't sound right, but oh well. the divider is made by the incredible @saradika-graphics.

summary: benny cross was trouble, he was a storm waiting to cause damage, he was everything you wanted. but men like him have a tendency to break hearts without even trying.

word count: 2.6k+

pairing: benny cross x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, crying, benny is a toxic man in this, emotionally constipated men, reader's favorite color is red. stupidity, violence, blood, fixing up wounds, makeup getting messed up, thigh riding, spitplay, he's filthy.

"He'll get you into trouble honey."

Five months ago you wouldn't have thought anything of the words Johnny said over a glass of whiskey, his eyes trained on the way you looked at Benny. The far off gaze that he'd seen cross his lady's face more often than he expected. At first it meant love—hope that you might finally meet the one you longed for—but reality always seemed to crash down around you quicker than you expected.

You laughed as if he told you a joke, a funny one liner that would be a distant memory on the day of your wedding to the man by the pool table. You thought nothing of his words and found yourself lost in the gaze of blue eyes and red knuckles.

You should have listened.

The door slammed shut with a resounding bang as you stormed through the small house—your jacket discarded over the leather chair Benny claimed belonged to him. Anger burned in your chest at the realization that one day...it wouldn't sit there. One day he'd leave and you would finally have the gall to throw that piece of shit outside. You glared at it as he followed you, shutting the door with a soft click, a distant sigh leaving his lips.

"Baby—"

In all the months you'd known him, Benny being scared was unthinkable. He was a man who made more trouble than he sought out, the same man who came home bruised, bloodied and begging for mercy. The man you promised to love forever. Yet when your gaze fixed him with a look that could have killed him if you weren't weaponless, you watched that small inkling of fear cross his eyes.

Benny was scared.

And not because he nearly got killed in a fight. Not because he leapt across the bar, a blade in his hand, and a smile on his lips. He felt terror at the thought that you—the person he found his little inkling of peace in—might finally be the one to turn him away.

Tonight very well could be your last straw in this relationship, the thing that finally cracked you in half, and Benny felt his heart drop to his stomach.

He swallowed thickly around words that would never leave his mouth, a cold sweat beginning to form along the back of his neck as you stayed silent. There was nothing either of you could say to fix what broke tonight. He threw the first punch and felt satisfaction at the crack that followed when his knuckles met bone and blood stained his skin.

"I'm s—"

You huffed, fingers curling into fists. "I swear if you so much as say a single word I will break your nose."

The grin that crossed his lips wasn't helping your anger—merely fanning the flames of something catastrophic—but he couldn't stop the thrill that nearly flipped his heart at your threat. His girl, so pretty and dolled up, ready to send a fist flying towards his face. Maybe he should talk to someone about why that made him smile. Why he wanted to kiss you senseless all of a sudden, until neither of you could breathe.

He should have realized it was fucked.

Instead he licked his lips and yearned for more.

Exhaling a deep breath, you closed your eyes to the image of him with blood still smeared across his knuckles and a bruise forming on his cheek. Johnny warned you. He told you Benny Cross was trouble. Yet even now, you found yourself unable to unravel the tangled thread that tied him to you. That set in stone your future with this man. You gave your heart over without thinking about the consequences. But wasn't that supposed to be what love is?

Weren't you meant to fall fast and quick and pick up the pieces later?

"Go sit down, I'll get the bandages," you muttered.

Thankfully, he didn't give you a fight on that front. He nodded silently, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, as he took a seat in his chair. You half expected him to let your jacket fall to the ground. Instead he folded it gently, placing it on the couch with enough care to break down a small bit of your anger.

He wouldn't speak. Not until you asked him to.

But he could show you he loved you in ways that went unnoticed by others, yet meant everything to you.

You returned silently, handing him the first aid kit as you poured alcohol on the once clean towel. A feeling he often fled from began to eat at his insides, clawing up his throat, as you bent down to evenly wipe at his open cut. He didn't flinch, barely even registered the sharp sting of pain. His mind was reeling, heart pounding, with the knowledge that he felt guilty.

"Johnny warned me," you sighed, seeing the beige towel begin to turn red.

Benny hummed, blue eyes meeting yours—that soft gleam of an apology shining through. You tried to avoid looking at him, knowing your resolve would break. Not even you could deny how irritating his gift for softening you up was. Yet somehow...you always let him get away with it.

"He said you were trouble."

"Johnny says that about everyone," he sighed. He wanted to touch you, to place his hand on the back of your thigh as you stood between his legs.

The harsh and final swipe at his cut sent pain down his face. Enough to have him reaching for you blindly, a soft grunt falling past his lips as you began to clean his bruise. You should have pushed him off, maintained your level of anger, but with Benny things became complicated. Anger bled into your love until you couldn't discern between the two.

Love and hate toed that invisible border between the two, but with him...the line simply disappeared.

"I asked you to stop fighting." He handed you the bandage softly, still trying to meet your gaze. "I don't like you coming home broken. Bloody. Do you think this is fun for me Benny? Stitching you up every time?"

His breath washed across your wrist, eyes falling shut as the guilt practically ate him alive. You could see the conflict on his face. A struggle he didn't know how to win. Fighting was all he knew, all he could count on most days, and whether you liked it or not, it helped him keep the control he desperately needed. The one thing in his life that remained unwavering.

"No," he murmured into the skin of your wrist.

"Then why?"

"I just gotta do it baby."

Bullshit always sounded prettier coming straight from his mouth. More often than not you took it without a second guess. You let him be the wild man they needed—the person who would fight without question. But tonight as you watched him pummel a man into the ground, you caught a glimpse of your future. Of the path that you willingly said yes to.

And it terrified you.

"I know the club needs you," you sighed, cupping his face and finally meeting his soft gaze. "I know Johnny needs you. But so do I."

The sting of tears wasn't unfamiliar when it came to Benny, but you wanted it to be different. You didn't want to cry over his mistakes anymore, you didn't want him to be the reason you were like this. He let out a breath, his hands reaching for hips with a gentleness that gave you whiplash. There was no resistance in your body left, no arguments to be had, because this was just how things were.

Benny Cross remained himself at the end of all of this.

Even as you broke in his hold.

Tucking your face into his neck, you allowed your worries to slip into the background. What more could you do? When you loved a man so reckless he barely remembered to breathe before jumping headfirst into danger. His hand ran down your back, lips finding your temple, as the night began to settle, and you found yourselves back in the same spot. In a position that felt familiar.

"You've got me," he murmured, feeling the collar of his shirt grow damp with your tears.

"The club comes first though."

"I don't know what you want me to say—"

You shook your head and pressed your face into his palm, his thumb running along the top of your cheekbones. "That's just it Benny...you can't say anything I haven't heard before."

A flicker of something foreign creeped along his face, peeking its head out before sneaking off again. A part of him that he'd never share with you. The trepidation, the grief, the worry that he barely let himself feel. How could he give that to you? How could he let you see it all without scaring the shit out of you?

Keeping that to himself was what kept him there. It stopped him from running at a moment's notice. And you knew that.

You figured it out the day you met him.

"C'mere," he mumbled, gripping your chin with the softness of a lover who yearned to apologize but didn't know how.

So you fell into his touch and let his lips slide along yours. You kissed him back with a worn out sigh of pleasure, your hands creeping along the neck of his jacket—until your skin pressed against his. Benny didn't kiss you with passion or fervor. He kissed as if he had all the time in the world to do nothing but. To tease out every manner of sounds that might be trapped in your chest.

His tongue dipped into your mouth, hand gripping at your hip as his breathy grunt was swallowed by your lips. By the moan you fed him—the need that echoed from your chest directly into his.

"You taste like me," he groaned, his hand finding the back of your neck at the same time he gripped your ass, pushing you a bit closer. Until no space remained but the clothes you wore.

You smiled, stealing a quick bite to his bottom lip he felt right down to his cock. "I taste like cigarettes."

"My cigarettes."

"You all smoke the same cigarettes baby."

He mumbled something you couldn't hear—not because you didn't try, you did—because he chose that moment to press his thigh between your legs, catching you in a kiss before the sound could escape. What you might have recognized as a soft warmth that spread through your stomach, suddenly burned you on sight. A whine spilled from your mouth, your fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his neck, and yet he merely smiled against your lips.

Whatever argument that might have continued long into the night, died in the back of your mind the second he guided your hips along his leg. The rough fabric of his jeans catching along the seam of yours. You wanted to focus on him, to see the slightest bit of crimson dust his cheeks, but the haze of bliss began to bleed into your vision. Blurring anything but him and his thigh and the open mouth kisses he tracked along your throat.

"B-Benny—"

The squeeze on your ass let you know he was listening, and perhaps you were too far gone to realize how your heart fluttered at the touch. Maybe he knew that this was too much for you to give up on. The unconditional pleasure he was willing to give you.

The ache he could fill with ease.

"That's it," he mumbled against the corner of your lips, gripping your chin in his large calloused palm. "Ride it. Take what you want."

Soft panting breaths was all you could get out with each stunted grind of your hips along his leg. With any other person you might have felt ridiculous. Like you were the show they were paying for. But with Benny...you existed beyond whatever this was; you were the person he'd ride to hell and back with. The person who gave him a reason to come home.

He watched you with awe in his eyes, his thumb rubbing along the eye makeup that you cried off. The mascara that you'd later have to remove with his help.

"How do you feel?" he finally said, his voice a low rumble in his chest.

If he wanted coherent sentences, he wasn't getting them. And some part of him knew. He could see the effort it took to even keep your eyes open as blinding pleasure began to course through your body. Ripping at what anger might have remained and replacing it with want.

His name was a soft sigh on your lips, eyes glazed and begging for that final push. When it came to you, he willingly gave in, gave you the need that he could feel in his own body.

"What do you need?"

He knew what would push you over the edge; could practically see the plea in your eyes. And his lips curled at the sight. Your hips dragged along his thigh in short stunted thrusts, working yourself past the point of feeling that blistering ache in your legs. Pulling your face closer, he pinched your cheeks slightly, silently waiting for you to follow his move. He wasn't a patient man, but when it came to you...he'd endure centuries if it meant getting to have you like this.

"I know," he murmured, sliding his nose along your cheek. "Lemme give it to you."

With a soft moan, your lips parted open, fingers grabbing onto the front of his vest in the hopes that it would stabilize you. He dipped down licking into your mouth with a groan, before the all too familiar sensation of his spit landing on your tongue sent heat flaring towards your stomach.

"That's a good girl." Your eyes fluttered, body trembling. "Swallow."

Few things existed that made him feel that flutter in his chest. The sight of your eyes rolling back as the release you'd been aching for finally spilled over and down your spine, was at the top of his list. He'd watch it on repeat without ever tiring of what he could bring you to. A feeling that if taken away from him, would bring a sane man to madness.

"Benny," you sighed, feeling his forehead press to yours, his chest heaving with deep breaths as he tried to settle his body. You needed a moment to gather yourself before he dragged you back to that comfortable bed you made him find the first week you began dating him.

"I'm sorry."

The words weren't a promise, nor a confirmation that a future spent with him would change. Or even be easy. But you took what little he could give. The pieces of his heart he let you have, even as he fought everything screaming at him to leave.

"I know," you whispered, giving into his hug, and soaking in the affection he offered.

You came to the conclusion that this is where you differed. You loved with everything, all that you could give of yourself. And Benny loved like the wind. There for moments of the day, but gone by the time the moon began its ascent into the sky. You never knew when you'd finally catch him for good—perhaps you never would.

His hold tightened, lips finding yours, and it was then you finally settled on the answer you'd been searching for. You didn't want to find out the future, because this right here...this was enough.

[famesau]

My best Friend came across this on tiktok about Charles and I have nothing else better to do so let's talk about it. Buckle up!!

If you are one of the many people who think that Charles did not care about the gang falling apart, getting betrayed, and almost killed then you don't fully understand his character. Do I fully understand him? Absolutely not. Take my words with a grain of salt if you want, but those who understand Charles, understand that these things did have an effect on him.

If you know anything about Charles then you know that he doesn't like the unnecessary bloodshed, unnecessary killing, and he is half Native American. Keeping these in mind you know why he acted the way he did when it came to the poachers. However that's not what I want to focus on.

If you know and understand Charles you should know that he isn't the type to share his emotions. There are very few times where he openly expressed his negative emotions to someone. So why would he, when the gang is falling apart, all of a sudden start constantly expressing his negative feelings about things??Just because he doesn't SAY something is bothering him doesn't it ISN'T bothering him.

In the wiki it states "Arguably the most honorable member of the gang, Charles is cool-headed and is unwilling to kill unless absolutely necessary; the continuing blood spilled by the gang (mainly from Dutch and Micah later on) is ultimately what causes him to become disillusioned with it and helping the Wapiti Indians instead." It even goes further by saying "He disapproves of people who are nothing but vicious killers, such as his notable disdain for the Callander brothers and Micah."

It may have appeared that he didn't care about the gang, but if you take into account this information right here, it makes sense why it seemed that way. He did like being a part of the gang, but with the continuous and unnecessary bloodshed he felt detached from it. Not only that, but there wasn't much he could do to save the gang from falling apart. My friend mentioned that the gang was falling apart well before he was a part of it, so why would Charles know what to do to fix it?? What's the point in trying to save something that is clearly about to break, and you can't save it?

Since Charles was already pretty distant with Dutch and the gang because of all the blood shed of course he wouldn't be down on his knees crying and cursing at the sky for the way things ended. He was already an emotionally distant person and since he became disillusioned with the gang it makes sense why he seemed like he didn't care. The reason he joined the gang could be because he felt lost and also didn't want to be alone anymore so he definitely did feel something when the gang fell apart.

Though I don't think he felt overly emotional when things went south I do think he still felt something. When you foresee something ending for a while, It is likely that when it actually happens, the emotions you thought you'd feel would be dulled. Charles isn't an emotionless person, he does care about many things and the people he is close to, but if you don't understand him then of course you would believe he was okay with everything.

Correct me if I misinterpreted things or got anything wrong!! But yeah that's my 10 cents on him :)

[darth-jess]

To the Anti-Jedi/Pro-Anakin Crowd

Pt. 3 of It's Okay to Love the Jedi and Anakin at the Same Time

(See my other posts –> It's Okay to Love Anakin and the Jedi at the Same Time, and To the Anti-Anakin/Pro-Jedi Crowd)

The Jedi Order (regardless of whether you ascribe to Canon or Legends) is an incredibly beautiful religious order that survived for thousands of years with a philosophy of compassion and understanding, as well as a dedication to preserving life and protecting those who could not protect themselves.

When you think about who Anakin is at his core– someone who very literally risks his own life to help others with no thought of reward as a nine year old boy– he easily embodies what it means to be a Jedi, and Qui-Gon recognizes this.

For me personally, it doesn't make sense to love Anakin and hate the Jedi Order, because Anakin truly loved being a Jedi. And the only thing more important to him than being a Jedi was being with Padmé.

We pro-Anakin people can discuss all we want about how the Jedi wronged Anakin, but it will never change the fact that being a Jedi was his calling and he loved it. It was his passion. He felt like he was truly doing good as a Jedi. Which is why Padmé never asked (and never would have asked) Anakin to leave. She knew how much it meant to him, she understood the purpose it gave him.

We also cannot ignore the fact that the Jedi Order is not perfectly represented by its members. Just as we cannot pick out one single person from any religion and say, "All people from that religion are like this" we also cannot pick out one (or even a few) Jedi and say the same.

I think a lot of people are overly critical of the Jedi Order because there were many Jedi who were not perfect Jedi. Yet this is a bit of a ridiculous standard to hold anyone to. Every single Jedi, Master Yoda included, was often tested by their circumstances and sometimes they failed.

Even the very best do not always succeed.

Yet, the failings of the Jedi Order in the Prequels are not due to a flawed core ideology, they are due to the mistakes of good people with good intentions, under the intense pressure of war and the manipulations of a Sith Lord.

What it means to be a Jedi is an ideal that no one will ever fully embody. Because ideals, while perfect in conception, are interpreted and played out by imperfect people– because everyone is flawed, no one is perfect, it's a fact of existence. Jedi like Yoda and Qui-Gon are a few of the (many) Jedi who do a wonderful (if imperfect) job of embodying the Jedi Ideal. But then you have Jedi like Ki-Adi Mundi (at least in Legends) who is so emotionally distant he seems less compassionate and more cold.

I firmly believe it is unfair to judge the entire philosophy of the Jedi Order by its members who do a poor job of embodying the Jedi Ideal, or even on the mistakes better Jedi make.

The Jedi Order is not some cult that forces people into it– parents can decide whether or not to give up their child to the Jedi, and that child can choose to leave at any time.

Even in the Revenge of the Sith novelization, Anakin decides he's going to leave the Jedi Order when he finds out Padmé is pregnant. He could have left the Jedi Order at any time before that, he could have lived happily with his rich wife. But when Anakin makes this decision, he is not running from the Jedi, he is running toward his family.

If he could have remained a Jedi and had a family with Padmé, he absolutely would have.

Anakin truly believed in being a Jedi. He made it a part of who he was as a person, and even though he broke the Jedi code of conduct on multiple occasions, he still believed in it. It's why in the Revenge of the Sith novelization he feels so awful about the way he killed Dooku– he understood it was wrong, and not the Jedi way, and he doesn't feel good about it.

Nearing the end of the Clone Wars, Anakin may have lost faith in (at least some of) the decisions of the Jedi Council, but Anakin doesn't ever lose faith in the Jedi as a whole– until he's given no other choice, when Mace Windu is about to kill Palpatine.

(See my post –> Was Mace Windu About to Defeat Sidious? and my post –> Anakin's Breaking Point where I use quotes from the ROTS novelization and the movie to discuss Palpatine's terrifying manipulation of Anakin and the battle in the Chancellor's Office.)

The only reason he betrays the Jedi is because he believes it is the only way to save Padmé, and this is made abundantly clear in the Revenge of the Sith novelization. He doesn't hate the Jedi, but he cannot imagine living without Padmé.

Even when Anakin says, "From my point of view, the Jedi are evil!" in Revenge of the Sith, it's more because the Jedi are standing in his way. The Jedi would not make him a Jedi Master– and he didn't really care about the rank, it was more that he wanted to read the secret texts in the Jedi Archives that only Jedi Masters could read to find a way to save Padmé. And then, Palpatine will not teach him how to save Padmé until the Jedi are destroyed.

In conclusion to this three post series, the Jedi Order wronged Anakin in so many ways, and we can't overlook that. But it was less due to Jedi philosophy, and more due to Jedi politics and the interpretations of certain Jedi at the time.

Also, Anakin wasn't brainwashed by the Jedi– he regularly disobeyed the Council and carved out his own path. And yet, being a Jedi was still very meaningful to Anakin and we can't overlook that either.

I realize I'm probably leaving stuff out, but this post was getting too long. If you have any problems or concerns, feel free to send me an ask about it!

[oblivious-tomato]

QiJiu and attachment styles

So for those who don't know attachment theory, click this handy link to learn in depth: here

If you want just a quick understanding:

attachment styles are the way we learn to form attachment based on the behavior of our caregivers in infancy and childhood. There are four attachment styles: one secure and three that come with their own challenges, called insecure: anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, disorganized/fearful-avoidant

Secure attachment forms when a child learned that they can cope with the world and their problems, they're capable, and if something happens that is too difficult to process/solve alone, they can reach out and will be helped.

anxious-preoccupied forms when a child learned that they're unloveable, they need to work for love! so their behavior centers around: "Please, let me prove to you i am worthy of you! Please!" which can lead to people pleasing behavior as well as 'stifling' partners or being overly accomodating

dismissive avoidant as a child internalized that they can't rely on others for love and comfort, which made their brains protect themselves by going: "oh, you know what? I never needed your love anyway." which makes adults avoid becoming too attached to others, avoid vulnerability, keep emotionally detached and overly self reliant (can seem distant in relationships)

disorganized attachment forms in children for whom the caregiver was both a source of comfort and fear. It's someone that both desperately needs others (anxious traits) and fears closeness (dismissive traits) it combines the challenging parts of the two other insecure attachments, leading to behavior where they pull someone closer only to get overwhelmed and push them away, then they feel bad about their behavior and reach out again... and again...

These patterns can show not only in romantic relationships, but also in other situations that trigger them.

Now if we look at Yue Qingyuan's and Shen Jiu's behaviors post separation (though I believe there already are signs of these attachments in their interactions prior to the death of Qiu Jianluo's horse):

Shen Jiu relied on Yue Qi, only to be let down, and have to save himself -> "You know what? I had never needed you, fuck you" (outwardly) he pretends he doesn't need anyone

Yue Qi tried to prove himself to Shen Jiu by saving him, only to fail, and then he tries to make up for it for the rest of his life in PIDW -> "please let me prove myself to you that i'm deserving of your attention (love)"

Yue Qingyuan tried to overcompensate for his unlovability by being caring and reliable. Even when he failed he could not let go of his attachment to Shen Qingqiu, and he very softly "chases him" by using situations to try and get close again, even if he is unable to explain the truth about the "abandonment of Shen Jiu".

Shen Jiu on the other hand overcompensates his unlovability by being distant and not letting anyone (as far as we know) truly close. He knows relying on someone else is dangerous, therefore he does not rely.

[polyscamory]

A cautionary tale of Polyscamory

“You deserve to be cherished.”

“You still have fire in you—and that’s inspiring.”

“I want to nourish someone’s path, not control it.”

“You have the kind of energy I could exhale with.”

Imagine you're in the beginning talking stage with a man who practices ENM. He's telling you that he's emotionally open and ready for commitment. You two speak at length about what kind of partnership you want. He doesn't have an anchor, and neither do you. It's looking like the perfect setup for something real.

"I want to amplify the flow and path of the person I want to be with. GIve them the room to grow in the direction they need, but be close and attentive enough to be nourishing."

"Personally, my life has been an amazing experience so far. And I'm at the point in my life where I have the ability to help someone else thrive through emotional support."

"Do you feel like it's harder to find a connection lately? As the years go by, it seems like it's easier to be distant. While feeling connected via social netowrks."

"My friends can count on me, and often do. Especially for adventures, creativity, and advice."

He talked about gardening like it was spiritual. About life like it was sacred. He didn’t just respond, he reflected. Echoed your depth and matched your warmth.

"Gardening has shown me that you can't force anything and expect beautiful results. It's been a huge learning experience that reflects how people should be treated."

You talked about plans. Picked a day. Shared morning updates. Good night texts. A date was forming, he said. He says he's a bit busy with work and renovations, but if he's making time to talk to you, he must have a good handle on things... Right?

At the meet-up up you spend hours talking and connecting organically. He tells you about buying two properties, including the one you guys are hanging out in. The other he wants to turn into low-income housing for starving artists. It's very admirable.

He talks about his classic car collection and how his job allows him to store it in their garage so he can work on them after hours. How he has a huge chunk of change in the bank and a good credit score. You're sure it's just to impress you, but a man's money has never one time made you wet. It's good to know that he's financially responsible, though.

During one of our online chats, you told him he had Dom vibes. He asked what it was about him that told you that. He tells you he's more of a soft Dom. Which is something that intrigues you.

You learn that he also likes going to raves and festivals where clothing is optional... Then he begins telling you about his hallucinogen use. Shrooms/LSD. He's the artist/nomadic type, so it fit his vibe even if it wasn't something you were into. You tell him you've never tried, and he gets that look in his eyes. One that promises corruption. He throws a little orange chew-looking thing on the table and says you should take it. In his eyes is a challenge. You don't touch it, and he changes the subject completely. Just leaves the option on the table. You don't take it, and he respects you more for it.

Overall... It's a good night. You feel a connection even if it was a bit intense for a first meeting.

After that night, something terrible happens: you start asking questions. Nothing invasive, just standard things anyone in ENM would ask if they like the person they're getting to know. (How many other partners do you have? Are they territorial?) You have experience with the latter, and you wanted to get it out of the way. He doesn't have an anchor, so you figure it would be pretty simple.

He said he's a secondary to a divorcee... They started as friends, but then her marriage went sour, and they filed. That it isn't anything serious.

So when the playful banter between you two starts going into making hypothetical plans (his suggestion at that), and he drops the "not any time soon. I've been so busy, I just can't help but feel like I jumped the gun in trying to socialize" line. It's like a bucket of ice water has been thrown on you. You just say, "fair enough". And leave it at that. And then he comes back saying he'll just focus on trying to make time for you.

This doesn't sit right with you, obviously. So you begin asking pointed questions. Because if he's so busy, how is he making time for the divorcée? All the partying he tells you he likes to do? You can understand established connections being prioritized, but are genuinely curious as to how that works. You ask again if she's someone who would ask him to stop seeing someone she didn't want him with. (You've been through it before) He was evasive in his answer.

"That's a hard question, cuz she's an actual friend, but I planned on dropping the physical part of it eventually."

"She's a close friend, and helps with things from time to time. So we hang out and get stuff done."

"She's looking for her own anchor person."

"I know I'll have to cut off physical things eventually."

So you realize that he's good enough to be her secondary, but not anchor. And from first-hand experience, you know how that stings. You don't even need to ask if he has feelings for her.

You now realize that this man has been trying to condition you to accept the literal bare minimum from him by constantly bringing up how "busy" he is while making time for the connections that matter, even if he isn't being prioritized in them.

Being so "busy," he can't see you, but can go out partying every Friday night.

So when you go out with an old friend that Saturday, tell him for full transparency, and send pics for an outfit check? (Just a pic asking if the outfit was cute.) He goes cold and distant. So later, you sent a text about looking so good that it made him go silent. He sends a pic of his paint-covered hand and says you look way better than him, and how he's sad the weekend is over.

No, "did you have a good night out? Were you safe?" Just that familiar tension. The unspoken you did something wrong energy. Like your joy and freedom... was suddenly a personal offense.

Funny how the man who once said he wanted to uplift you couldn’t even ask how your night went.

And the kicker? It was his house he was painting. He could’ve asked you to come by. Could’ve invited you in. But instead, he stewed in silence and made you feel guilty for not waiting by the door.

“Maybe I should deactivate my dating profile.”

“I’m not good at this right now.”

“Winter was easier. Just joints and couches.”

When you named the shift? When you said, “You came on strong, and now I feel like I’m bothering you…” His response wasn’t accountability.

It was escape.

So it leaves you wondering... Are people really out here using poly to excuse being emotionally present and avoid accountability? You ask him if he's in the lifestyle for the right reasons and get left on read.

Moral of the story?

If he’s “technically secondary,” but treating you like a ghost?

That man is not poly. He’s just hiding his emotional cowardice in the language of freedom.

Welcome to Polyscamory—where the connections are optional, the answers are vague, and the “ethical” part disappears the moment you ask for more than vibes.

Don't let poetic language fool you. If he wanted to make space for you, he would.

[anecdotist]

i was talking to amanda about this a while back and just saw another post that reminded me, but like. yeah sure emmrich was an openly queer man, clearly happy with himself and supported, and dorian got to see that when he was a student and it was probably good.

but i'm kinda tired of everything being about dorian being gay and not really looking at the other aspects of his life and relationships with others.

in particular, he was raised in a very emotionally distant, very lonely household. his mother is down right absent, hypercritical, and overall just straight up doesn't like dorian (which i'll write a longer hc on later, per a merc question, someone badger me to answer it and stop thinking about it). halward, on the other hand, does love his son, but more in the like... emotionally distant, stiff upper lip, upper class victorian england kind of way. and that's when he showed up, as a magister i have no doubt that halward was extremely busy and just wasn't there a lot.

so by the time dorian goes off to be taught in nevarra, he's used to people just not giving a shit about him beyond the prestige of his house, the money his father can throw around, and the fact that his incredible talent reflects well on anyone who can manage him to their benefit. he figures out the game early on, it's not hard.

and emmrich clocks that and just straight up doesn't care. it's not how he operates. he's probably the first emotionally available, smart, and compassionate adult in dorian's life. it's likely the first time he was really seen, and i have no doubt that emmrich clocked a lot of dorian's trouble-making as boredom, seeking justice for himself or others, and/or a cry for attention. and i think, probably had emmrich been one of the first teachers dorian had, a lot of his trouble-making would have been dealt with before he goes to the order of argent and actually funneled healthily into other activities. not all of it, mind you, shit-stirring is a key part of dorian's personality anyway, but there'd have been a lot of pain circumvented had emmrich come along earlier.

it's one of the things i actually think alexius and emmrich would have had in common--they both see through dorian's flamboyancy to the core. they both realize this is a truly bright kid who is dying to get some attention. out of all the trouble dorian could get into, alexius finds him in a brothel, of all places--he wants attention!!!

anyway. point being--dorian doesn't realize emmrich's impacts at the time, the way kids usually don't. he doesn't really care until he's much older and faced with lucerni and shadow dragons to train and educate that he realizes just how good of a teacher emmrich was. he tries to take the same approach--to be compassionate and understanding, to be patient, to not belittle but meet his "students" where they're at. he, of course, does it in his own way--he's still dorian, after all. but he has very few uncomplicated male role models he can actually emulate, and when it comes to helping the next generation, he doesn't want to be halward and he can't bring himself to think more on alexius yet, and it just seems most natural to mimic the things he remembers emmrich doing.

[ikamigami]

I believe what Dark Sun told Foxy is true.

Maybe it's because of what he said about our Sun not surviving..

This.. I think that this cements it for me that Dark Sun isn't actually that bad.

I mean I think that he's not telling the full truth when he says that he only cares about his own ass.

Cause I think that he cares about something here. In our dimension. Or maybe about someone?

It might be just my wishful thinking but what if Dark Sun feels some kind of sentiment towards our Sun?

Cause when he was watching a bits from the channel it seemed to me as if he saw there something that he maybe wanted to be with his Moon or maybe he just in our Sun something he lost after all these times Moon refused to cooperate..

We were wondering on Discord when I still was active there how Dark Sun would feel about our Sun if he met him.

We didn't have them meeting each other and while Dark Sun didn't state that he hates our Sun for being a punching bag or that he feels a bit sympathetic towards him or that he doesn't care about him at all.. I feel like those little bits show that Dark Sun might actually feel sorry for our Sun.

I mean cause look, he told Moon that he should be worried about Sun and let him know where Sun is.. even though he could just simply say for example "don't worry about your dear Sun, check the lighthouse".. but he didn't. He said "you should be worried about Sun.."

And when Dark Sun was counting people who could built Eclipse - people who knows how to copy paste a personality - and he made a weird pause when he said Sun's name.. people thought that Sun is actually the one who is working with Ruin and helped him bring Eclipse back. But I think that Dark Sun hesitated because of how much our Sun doesn't believe in his own smarts. Sun can copy paste a personality - he did that with Moon's computer.. but remember how he said that it was just dumb luck?

And Dark Sun also said that Sun won't survive the aftermath of Ruin's "thanos' snap thing"..

And him watching their channel - he only later went to the episode with Ruin's interrogation - he was watching one of the games at first..

Doesn't it all seems odd to you? Why Dark Sun would be like that towards our Sun who "failed" in every way Dark Sun didn't?

Shouldn't he be angry at our Sun for being a doormat to everyone? For not being able to stand up for himself? Not being able to speak his mind to Moon?

Does Dark Sun might actually feel sorry for our Sun?

Maybe, and it might be my wishful thinking once again, Dark Sun isn't angry at our Sun because he.. gaah I can't find the right word xp..

Maybe Dark Sun admires, is sentimental about Sun's kindness?

I can't word it out how I want for the love of all that exist QwQ

What I mean is that Sun has this kindness and lots of empathy which is what Dark Sun lost. And I think that maybe Dark Sun feels some sort of grief.. for lack of better word.. it's like he's grieving who he was.

Cause like many people speculated me included that Dark Sun just became so cold, distant and emotionally detached to be able to stay on his ground, to be able to cut off the toxic people from his life - Moon literally and creator and Stitchwraith got killed. He has his peace but at what cost?

I think that our Sun is for Dark Sun a bitter-sweet reminder of what he had to sacrifice in order to achieve his peaceful life. I think that our Sun reminds Dark Sun of how he used to be as if he was looking at his younger self.

You know what I mean? It's similar to when you see yourself in someone else and you see all those aspects of you that were sweet but they're gone and you're not like that anymore. And you can't help it but to feel sympathy towards that person.

I think that the same is with Dark Sun. I think that he feels a little bit of sympathy towards our Sun because of how Sun is still kind and compassionate and forgiving. And Dark Sun used to be like that as well. And now he looks at Sun and can't help but to feel sympathy towards him. And he can't help but to feel sorry for Sun because of how much Sun struggles all because of his kind heart.

And because Dark Sun has a star - and interdimensional star at that - he probably saw things from future and he saw that Sun will try to do something to himself. Or that's what I think is the case.

I might be wrong but for me it can't be a coincidence with the way Dark Sun is whenver he mentions our Sun.

And that's why I think that he might want to try to prevent this from happening. But will he be successfull? Will he be able to convince others to listen to him?

We shall see. I can't wait to see what showrunners have in store for us.

At the end I'll say that I'm really happy to see that Foxy tries to do better as a father of FC this time and that he took FC with him to try and if kid can help with anything awwwww 💗

Also I wonder what are they doing wrong with the way they're trying to bring Solar back.. maybe they need Eclipse's help? Hmmm..

Either way something interesting will happen on April 8th to say the least.. I can feel it.

[aishangotome]

Main Story Chapter 21 Card: Osborn - The Circular Highway (环形公路) Part 2 | Light and Night 光與夜之戀

Part 1

♡———♡

Wen Wan and Osborn rushed angrily towards that coffee shop, only to find Ye Chuan sitting opposite a lady of about the same age as him.

Her hair was styled up, her figure was slightly plump, and she also looked carefully put together. Both of them seemed a bit reserved and shy.

Osborn and Wen Wan sat behind a few tall potted plants, pricking up their ears to listen to their conversation.

Ye Chuan: I also have a son, he's especially outstanding, never makes me worry... Hey, I heard you also have a son? He must be very sensible too.

Wen Wan winked at Osborn, lowering his voice.

Wen Wan: So Uncle Ye is in love, scared me to death.

Osborn was stunned for a moment, then suddenly understood. So this was the reason why Ye Chuan started paying attention to his appearance, losing weight, and buying a wig.

The word "love" was too distant from them, which is why he hadn't realized it immediately.

The two chatted for a while, talking about their daily lives. The atmosphere became increasingly harmonious, with relaxed laughter coming from time to time.

It wasn't until the coffee was slowly finished that they both stood up and walked out of the coffee shop together.

Wen Wan turned his head and exchanged glances with Osborn. Osborn nodded in confirmation.

But unexpectedly, the place Ye Chuan took her to next was not a park or a mall, but the bustling vegetable market.

They walked straight to a stall. It turned out that the lady sold vegetables and braised foods here. She filled a large bag with bean sprouts and potatoes for Ye Chuan, and also weighed out quite a bit of cold braised duck gizzards.

Ye Chuan happily accepted them, handing over fifty yuan.

Ye Chuan: My son just loves eating these. Your place has the best taste.

The other person smiled and shook her head, pushing the money back.

Lady: No need, you already treated me to coffee just now. Consider this my treat.

Osborn's gaze fell on the bag of potatoes and bean sprouts, his face turning a little green.

Osborn: No wonder I've been eating these every day lately.

Wen Wan: Brother Xiao, you're too slow, you couldn't even sense this! Men, ah, when they like someone, they become like this!

Wen Wan spoke confidently, as if he had seen it all.

Osborn: Ye Chuan is always like this, acting on a whim.

Wen Wan stared at his face, shaking his head emotionally, and muttered softly behind his back.

Wen Wan: Tsk tsk, no wonder he wouldn't even take one letter and found them annoying. Turns out he hasn't caught on at all.

Over there, Ye Chuan was diligently helping her pack things up. His practiced movements made it look like it wasn't his first time.

Ye Chuan: Should I stay and help you close up shop later?

Lady: My son is coming to pick me up today, it might not be very convenient if you stay.

The other person looked troubled, and Ye Chuan nodded repeatedly to show he understood.

Ye Chuan: Ah, it's still a bit early now, so I'll head back first.

Lady: Be careful on your way.

After saying goodbye, Ye Chuan walked out with the two bags of groceries, his face radiant and humming a little tune. Wen Wan nudged Osborn's arm with his elbow.

Wen Wan: If Ye Chuan really finds you a mom, would you accept her?

Osborn didn't say anything, just stared at the busy woman behind the vegetable stall.

Wen Wan called out several more times before he came back to his senses. He took out a fifty yuan note from his pocket and slipped it into Wen Wan's hand.

Osborn: Go buy some potatoes and braised dishes, and we'll split them.

Wen Wan: But, I've already eaten!

Osborn: Doesn't matter if you've eaten or not, I haven't.

Only then did Wen Wan understand Osborn's intention, and his expression fell.

Wen Wan: But I don't like potatoes, they don't taste good.

Osborn: If you don't eat them, can't you just give them to the neighbors?

Wen Wan: Then why don't you just go buy them yourself?

Osborn glared at him. Wen Wan immediately understood his intention and held up two fingers to bargain.

Wen Wan: Let me play on your computer for two hours.

Osborn: And I'll delete all your game records.

Wen Wan immediately sprinted off, calling out "Aunty!" with great enthusiasm.

Back home, Ye Chuan had already finished cooking. Osborn's gaze swept over the table and found the familiar dishes, only prepared differently this time.

Ye Chuan: Come eat quickly, this cold braised duck gizzards is really good today!

Ye Chuan's face was flushed with health, and he looked as if he had gotten younger by a few years.

A TV drama about parents' love was playing on the television. He watched it with great interest, commenting on it from time to time.

Osborn suddenly realized that in the years they had depended on each other, he had never seen Ye Chuan have time that belonged just to himself. He seemed to have spent all his energy on him.

Ye Chuan's first half of life was troubled by poverty and his original family. The child he met by chance became the main melody of his destiny, and now, he was no longer young.

When he lay in bed, Osborn kept thinking about these things. The double portion of dinner made him too full to sleep, so he could only close his eyes and rest.

The door creaked softly. Ye Chuan thought he was asleep and tiptoed over to cover him with the blanket, then quietly closed the door and left.

Osborn opened his eyes in the darkness.

Actually, when he first found out Ye Chuan was dating, for a moment he felt a sense of being betrayed.

He subconsciously wanted to stop the intruder in his world, afraid that this sudden change would destroy the hard-won peace of their current life.

At that moment, a blurry face appeared in his mind.

Memory told him that person had also chosen to leave him because of love, but too much time had passed, so long that he couldn't remember exactly who it was.

But it must have been a very important presence in his life. So even though he had forgotten their appearance, recalling it now still brought a huge panic.

He didn't know if Ye Chuan would end up like that too, having a relative more important than himself and starting a completely new life.

Rationally, he understood that it was Ye Chuan's own life, but he couldn't control the selfish thoughts spreading in his heart.

Osborn turned over and happened to see the small dog doll at the corner of the bed. Before, Ye Chuan had bought it to accompany him because he was afraid he would be scared sleeping alone.

He pushed the little dog over with his finger, looked at its still bright eyes, and let out a light laugh.

Now he was no longer panicking. Even knowing that some care would be divided in the future, Ye Chuan still loved him, and more than he had thought.

He and Ye Chuan were unique existences to each other.

He was very certain that he wouldn't be abandoned this time.

-

A Long Confession Part 2

The next day, Osborn woke up to a rich aroma.

He groggily walked out of the room, didn't find Ye Chuan in the kitchen, so he turned and went to the bathroom.

Indeed, Ye Chuan was holding a can of hair wax, studying how to style the few strands of hair on his head.

Osborn: That's not how you use it.

Osborn looked at the instructions on the can for a few moments and used the hair wax to give Ye Chuan a neat and tidy hairstyle.

Osborn: You look more energetic this way.

Ye Chuan admired himself in the mirror, smug for quite a while, before going to the kitchen to bring out the heated breakfast. A serving of braised pig trotters occupied the center of the dining table.

Osborn: Eating so well first thing in the morning?

Osborn teased him pointedly. Ye Chuan's old face turned red, and he forced himself to act calm as he put a piece of meat on Osborn's plate.

Ye Chuan: Isn't it time for your exams? This is for supplementing your nutrition.

The TV was still airing yesterday's drama. The father, middle-aged and divorced for many years, finally met someone he liked, but his children's opposition saddened him.

Ye Chuan secretly glanced at Osborn and spoke as if casually.

Ye Chuan: If... I'm just saying, hypothetically, what if I also met someone I liked, would you object?

Osborn looked up and saw the anxiety in his eyes. He didn't expose him, just chuckled softly.

Osborn: Then go for it. If you like her, that's fine. It's just that I don't believe anyone would be interested in you.

Ye Chuan's tense emotions clearly relaxed, and his tone became excited.

Ye Chuan: What are you talking about? I was reasonably handsome when I was young, okay!

As he spoke, Ye Chuan suddenly blurted out a question.

Ye Chuan: Do you have a girlfriend, kid?

Osborn spat out a mouthful of water and fumbled for tissues in embarrassment. Seeing how useless he was, Ye Chuan shook his head and started rambling again.

Ye Chuan: It's okay if you do, it's normal to be dating at this age.

Ye Chuan: Don't suppress yourself. Everyone has had crushes when they were young, but don't let it affect your studies too much.

Osborn: Got it, got it.

Osborn picked up a piece of pig trotters and put it in Ye Chuan's bowl, interrupting his endless hypotheticals.

Ye Chuan: You don't really have those thoughts, do you? You don't like any female classmates? Or are your standards too high?

Osborn kept a straight face and calmly uttered a word.

Osborn: Boring.

Ye Chuan: How can that be boring? Pursuing love is such a wonderful thing. Oh, what a waste of that face of yours!

The TV screen showed a scene of the male and female leads passionately kissing under a peach tree. The falling petals looked exceptionally beautiful.

Ye Chuan: Oh dear, can't watch this!

Ye Chuan exaggeratedly raised his hand to cover his eyes. Osborn looked at him speechlessly, but his ears also turned red unconsciously.

-

During the break between classes, Wen Wan and Osborn went to the rooftop to play ping pong as usual. As soon as they pushed open the door to the rooftop, they bumped into a young couple being affectionate with each other.

The couple, pressed together, were startled and ran away together in a panic, like frightened birds.

Wen Wan: Hey, what do you think dating feels like? Is it like Uncle Ye, being happy even eating dishes he doesn't like?

Osborn: How would I know?

Wen Wan: Uncle Ye looks so happy. Ah, I'm really envious...

Osborn leaned against the wall, playing with the ping pong ball, listening to Wen Wan leaning on the railing, full of longing like a teenage girl in springtime.

Suddenly, he straightened up and turned his head to look at Osborn with sharp eyes.

Wen Wan: Brother Xiao, so many people write you letters, why don't you try dating and see if you're happy?

Osborn curved his lips into a smile, picked up his racket, and hit Wen Wan on his empty head, eliciting a wail in return.

Osborn: If you keep thinking about these things, don't even think about getting into high school. Get back and do your test papers.

Wen Wan left, daring not to be angry, leaving Osborn sitting by the wall's edge, distractedly playing with the ball.

In his mind, he replayed Wen Wan's words and Ye Chuan's unintentionally revealed happy smile. Suddenly, he thought of someone.

It wasn't love. When they met, they were just kids, each with their own concerns.

But when he closed his eyes, the details of that day were crystal clear. To this day, he still remembered that face, those eyes. Sensitive, clear, bright.

Osborn stood up and found the academic affairs office. After the teacher left, he secretly slipped in and started searching for the information of students in the entire city.

Unfortunately, the information between schools wasn't interconnected, and he didn't find the information he wanted.

He didn't know the girl's name, only that she was in the same grade as him. He knew nothing about her other school or address.

This kind of search was like looking for a needle in a haystack, but he really wanted to try, to see that face again.

He didn't know why he suddenly wanted to find her. Back then, she had even stood him up. But there was a strange obsession urging him to go before her.

Osborn asked people from different schools and frequented forums for various schools, but he consistently got no leads.

When he had free time, he even squatted at the abandoned factory for a few days. Aside from the occasional stray cat that wandered in, no one else ever came.

Maybe the girl had already left this city. Maybe she had long forgotten this place.

Osborn felt his actions were stupid. He put the opened can of cat food on the windowsill, patted the dust off his pants, and turned to leave.

But the more he couldn't find her, the more his curiosity was piqued.

Osborn: Do you have any friends you haven't contacted in a long time, maybe only met once?

Although Ye Chuan found the question strange, he answered him directly.

Ye Chuan: Yes, I do. An old co-worker of mine is now a city leader. We're even from the same place.

Osborn: Did you get in touch with him?

Ye Chuan: How could I? He doesn't even remember me. I just saw him in the news.

Ye Chuan: I wish I had gotten along well with him back then...

Osborn: I know!

A flash of inspiration struck Osborn. He pushed his chair back and stood up, rushing out under Ye Chuan's confused gaze.

He ran into an internet cafe and typed the girl's information into the search engine. After loading for a fraction of a second, relevant content flooded the screen.

Osborn patiently browsed page by page. Sure enough, in a primary school's administrative information, he saw a photo from back then. It was blurry, but he was certain.

Back then, the girl was rated a "Three Good Student" for her excellent academics and conduct. Following this clue, he found news of her being accepted into a high school.

His gaze lingered on the name of this school for a few moments. Osborn suddenly felt a sentiment similar to the timidity one feels when approaching home after a long absence.

He had insomnia again that night, constantly thinking about what that girl from back then looked like now. Would she be the same as in his memory, or completely different?

-

Standing before the gate of that high school, Osborn silently took a few deep breaths, calming the emotions that kept surging in his heart, one after another.

Expectation, eagerness, hesitation, and timidity appeared simultaneously. For a moment, he was afraid to approach. He was both afraid that his sudden appearance would startle her and worried that she had already forgotten him.

He randomly pulled a passing student, but he couldn't ask about a specific person with only fragmented information. The person was startled by his action and shook their head in a panic.

Osborn frowned in disappointment, released his hand, and let the person go.

Osborn: Remember to keep today's matter a secret.

He lingered outside the school gate for several days in a row. Since he wasn't wearing a school uniform, the old security guard at the gate even thought he was a suspicious loafer.

Security Guard: Hey! Which school are you from? What are you doing loitering here every day?

Osborn wasn't angry. He beat around the bush to inquire with the old man, but the old man flatly refused with a straight face.

Security Guard: That's student privacy, we can't disclose anything. If you show up at the gate again, young man, I'll have to call security.

Fortunately, after asking around for several days, Osborn finally found out the girl's class.

But along with that, he also learned the distance between them. The girl was leaving the country to study soon.

The chasm between two worlds lay before him, blocking his courage to approach.

Osborn felt a bit disheartened. He found the girl's best friend and stopped her on her way home by bike.

She was a short-haired girl, thin and small. When he mentioned her best friend, she immediately adopted the strongest defensive posture.

Osborn: Did you ever hear her talk about a promise she made with someone when she was a child?

Girl: We're this old now, who would still remember a childhood promise!

The girl hugged her schoolbag, shaking her head fearfully, and warned him, feigning toughness.

Girl: Don't you dare get any ideas about her, or I'll call my brothers, and we'll beat everyone we see!

Osborn was startled and raised an eyebrow unhappily.

Osborn: Are there other people interested in her too?

Girl: Look, that guy over there.

The girl pointed to a boy not far away and ran off while Osborn was looking.

Osborn rode his bike and stopped in front of that boy, sizing him up – shorter than him, average looking, seemed weak, not much of a threat.

He didn't say anything, just unhurriedly rode his bike in a circle around the boy, scaring him so much he was caught between advancing and retreating and almost fell to the ground. Only then did Osborn coldly speak, asking if he was harassing a female classmate.

The boy cowardly shook his head and denied it, swearing he would stay far away from all female classmates in the future.

Osborn then cleared a path for him and made the boy write a guarantee letter and put his fingerprint on it.

Osborn: Remember what you said. Now you can get lost.

The boy scrambled away. Osborn rode his bike home alone, the yellowish sunset fading behind him.

The fiery clouds rolling in the sky instantly turned into ember-like darkness. The fire burning in his heart also suddenly calmed down.

Thinking about it, it made sense. Who would still remember a childhood promise? So much time had already passed. Although he still knew nothing about the girl, at least, it resolved a knot in his heart.

However, after the knot was untied, instead of relief, there was more of an empty feeling of loss.

Osborn believed he hadn't shown anything unusual, but Wen Wan was keenly aware.

-

This day, Osborn was playing ball when Wen Wan came over and said mysteriously.

Wen Wan: The girl you're looking for is leaving the country next week.

Osborn glanced at him. The ping pong ball in his hand bounced high and was hit out with force.

Wen Wan: But coincidentally, the city-wide high school joint sports meet is this Friday!

Wen Wan: Even more coincidentally, in the relay race, our school and her school are in the same group in the draw!

Osborn: What does that have to do with me?

Osborn walked over nonchalantly to pick up the ball, hit it again, and it landed on the table with a crisp sound.

After class in the afternoon, Osborn found the class teacher.

Osborn: I want to sign up for the sports meet relay race.

Many students signed up, but Osborn easily passed the preliminary rounds and fought his way through to get a spot.

Wen Wan was cheering from the side, with an expression that said "I knew it all along".

Wen Wan: Brother Xiao, you have to seize this opportunity and make sure she remembers you well!

The day of the sports meet was a rare good weather day. The floating clouds in the clear blue sky seemed to sparkle.

Standing on the red track, Osborn's heart began to pound.

He saw Wen Wan and Ye Chuan cheering loudly in the stands. He saw the section of the audience stands for the girl's school.

He took a deep breath, got into the starting position for the run, and his gaze suddenly became firm.

The moment the baton landed heavily in his palm, he took off, rushing forward like a young eagle leaving the nest, spreading its wings.

Fierce airflow rushed into his shirt. The name on his back fluttered wildly in the wind.

All sounds seemed to fade away, and then, the moment he crossed the finish line in first place, they surged back intensely.

He raised his arms and turned back, looking at the cheering sea of people.

-

PHONE CALL

Osborn: Answering so fast, looks like you're pretty much done with work today?

You: Pretty much, finished up everything I was working on.

Osborn: That's good news, why do you sound a little down?

You: Because, I didn't get to do the most, most important thing yet!

Osborn: Oh? What is it?

You: I was busy all afternoon and didn't get to eat the lemon mousse you ordered for me. And it collapsed.

Osborn: Oh, that. Easy fix, I'll reorder one and send it over right now.

Osborn: How about you play a game with me before your late-night afternoon tea arrives?

You: Okay, what game do you want to play?

Osborn: This game is called "You Say, I Search." Remember the umbrella we bought together last time?

Osborn: Our mission is to work together to find it.

You: Did you forget where you put it?

Osborn: I don't know which little guy at home hid it as a toy. It's been a real search.

You: Let me think. The most likely places they hide treasures.

You: Is it under the shoe cabinet by the entrance?

Osborn: Let me see... No. But the souvenir photo on the shoe cabinet is quite eye-catching.

Osborn: It's the photo we took on our first date. You looked so silly and cute in that picture.

You: Hmph, it was so long ago, why are you still making fun of me!

Osborn: How am I making fun of you? The key point of that sentence was cute. The cutest in the world.

You: Alright, since it's not here, how about behind the storage cabinet in the living room?

Osborn: Unfortunately, not there either.

Osborn: However, I did find another treasure that's been missing for a long time.

Osborn: That hairpin you lost before, it somehow secretly moved here at some point.

You: Ah! How did it get there?

Osborn: Based on the hair stuck on the hairpin, we can deduce that the culprit is Xiao Xiao Yi.

You: Wow, you can figure that out?

Osborn: Of course. I'm familiar with each competitor's characteristics. Xiao Xiao Yi usually bothers you the most, so shouldn't I keep a close eye on things?

You: Haha, let me think again, where else could the umbrella be?

Osborn: ...I found it. This location is truly unexpected.

You: You found it? Where is it?

Osborn: Under the bed, covered by the hanging bedsheet.

You: Good that it's found! But looking at it this way, your place seems to be filled with my things.

Osborn: Is that not good? My life is full of your traces. I really like this feeling.

Osborn: The rest of our lives will also be like this, densely filled with each other's traces.

You: That sounds so romantic... Ah, the mousse cake has arrived, I'll go get it.

Osborn: Okay. You go get the cake. I, who found the umbrella, should also set off.

You: Huh? Where are you going?

Osborn: Looks like the little dummy who was too busy to eat mousse didn't notice the change in the weather either.

Osborn: The rain has gotten heavy. Finish your mousse and wait obediently. I'm coming to pick you up and take you home now.

-

TEXT MESSAGES

Osborn: Stepped out of the venue after training, and it was pitch black all around, only one light on. Don't know why, but I suddenly thought of you. You: Maybe because we haven't seen each other in a while? After all, you've been focused on training lately, our last date was a week ago. Osborn: A week? Feels like longer than that. Osborn: No wonder my mind is full of you right now. You: Actually, I also think of you at times like that. Osborn: I remember now, one time you even suddenly called me. Osborn: I picked up and said I was coming to find you, but you said you were just feeling a bit melancholic for a moment, and you'd be fine right away. Osborn: So, when you were standing alone under the streetlight at that time, what feeling made you think of me? You: It was the joy of seeing hope, because there was a beam of light in the boundless darkness, and it made me feel emotional without even realizing it. Osborn: Is that feeling like, a lost boat seeing a lighthouse? Osborn: A traveler in the desert seeing a water source? Osborn (Voice MSG): Or to be more precise, like I saw you.

-

TIMELINE POST

Osborn: A certain lazy cat wasn't paying attention during an online meeting, and I caught them.

You: What wage earner doesn't slack off? We just tough it out!

Osborn's Response: Slacking off is normal, the problem is, a certain restless hand wasn't just slacking off.

*The Chinese idiom for slacking off is "touching fish." By saying that MC's restless hand wasn't just "touching fish," it is insinuating that she was probably touching him.

-

"Over the years, I've only had one way to judge what is good and bad: by making that judgment belong only to myself."

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S2 Chapter 6-01

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[persy-r-bozo]

DHMIS- The Yappining! 2/6 - Yellow

i diddnt know who to fully start with! so i decided yellow was my first victim.

Yellow is a very interesting character. he tends to play into the "Dumb yet sweet" character trope. but the steady reveal that this cannot be farther from the truth is amazing.

I feel him and his reflection could mean alot of things. and i believe it does. a part of me thought it could resemble the two sad sides of neurodivergent Youth. "The gifted" and "The trouble maker" gifted kids tend to be given to much pressure to succeed and troubled ones are ignored or just pushed aside.

i don't think the car killed him, just hurt inside and out. Causing a drift within an already possibly drifting family. (Perhaps this switch disappointed some. or made others go mad.) I think the gravestone and mirror could simply mean that version of him is dead. someone who cant be brought back. He's still the same, just not the way others might have wanted him to be.

The batteries could be a metaphor for meds. or hell he could be a cyborg. I mean his dad made a computer that just spawned bitches so i wouldn't put it past him.

the show or the world their stuck within tried to paint yellow stupidly. However he is quite emotionally intelligent. the world tries to paint him as useless but he isn't. I like the idea that yellow can read people very well. he can understand them in ways that make him super helpful, however he has issues with words and thought, often stumbling over himself.

his kindness and optimism is both a blessing and a curse. it makes him easy to control, but it also makes him a sense of stability and comfort.

he is such an interesting character!. a melancholy character. a sunshine behind a cloud. from a blind and innocent lad within the web series to a more dependable one later on. he has much to overcome, we can only hope he may.

But lets get into the-

-RELATIONSHIP VIEWS-

Red: Yellow and red are a very interesting pair. i feel as though yellow likes red. but he can read him, probably better than red can even read himself. Yellow can sense he is a ticking time bomb. that despite his quiet, he is breaking. so yellow is distant, keeping himself always a few steps away, just in case. He trusts red, its hard not to feel a little protected with a big fellow around. but yellow can just sense it. that red could snap, and that trust might break too.

Duck: THATS HIS RIDE OR DIE RIGHT THERE!. his ride or die! yellow loves duck, and feels a sense of comfort from him i think. I like to believe that duck might have even been a non related uncle of sorts. the brain fog may persist but you never forget that one guy whose never related to yall but still shows up. They are chaotic and i love them. while yellow can read people very well but cannot speak very well. Duck cannot read people for shit BUT BOY, IS HE LOUD N PROUD. They are two puzzle pieces together. pure chaotic opposites. This may cause big fights between the two but oddly enough i feel there's potential for the two to work really well together too. What im saying is PLEASE PLEASE IF WE GET ANOTHER SEASION I WANT TO SEE DUCK AND YELLOW HAVE THIER OWN ADVENTURE AND ITS CHAOTIC AND MESSY AND FUNNY AS FUCK PLEASE!!-

Roy: Roy is more sad. yellow loves him, yet that love is not mutual. and if it was it wasn't true families love, as it never stayed. Yellow flinches when Roy shows up in family. Yet he still wants to believe he came for him. Maybe yellow will realize this. that even though he loves him, He's not a good puppet person.

Lesley: This is interesting. If we are to believe she is his mother. he surely doesn't remember her. He Seems uncomfortable within her presence and skittish. But he stays and tries to be sweet. Maybe the reason he seems so skittish around her is because she might be the only creature he cant read that well. She's a mystery, her minds a mystery her everything is an enigma. Even to him. I don't think he remembers her at all. But one things for sure, even in the face of the unknown my boy aint rude.

EXTRA YAP JUST FOR YOU GUYS <3 !!!!!!!!!!

Yellow and clayhill-

Even though clay hill issnt cannon in the slightest and is played as a joke for all the older fans and the creators themselves IM A FREAKAZOID OK? IM INSANE! (i made a small headcannon weird thingy about yellow guy and clayhill to fit clayhill and its "Inexistence" into the series.) BEACUSE IM A MAD MAN OK!!?

I thought of the idea of clayhill being yellows little fanfiction (Babes first fanfiction!! he's following in the footsteps of his eldritch world building parents / guardians!!! <3 ) Yellow used it as a way to vent his little brain foggy daja vu head away.

Ill go though what i remeber clayhills plot line to be. Key thing is remember because I live in the US and i learned off of word of mouth mostly.

Its yellows ideal situation. hes with the other two. they are safe in a town with neighbors and people who love them and see them. Red is calmer, duck is more joyous. its yellows birthday today!. But a mean key comes to life and the mayor is missing.

Duck follows the key and is manipulated and hurt by steave. Yellows venting his frustrations with ducks blind following of the world even though it hurts him. but he understands, its because some of the objects are just so mean. Red runs away, Yellows venting his fears or daja vu like feeling that red will run away. leaving him all alone. He understands it might be for the greater good (finding the mayor) but he is still scared.

Yellow on the other hand, Gets a make over, he outsmarts an object. he finds a way to rescue duck and find red. to save the entire town and have his birthday party at home!. and i believe someone said the age on his badge changed from 38 to 48?

well if it did that might be yellow wishing to be older. Thinking if he was older he could control more things, talk better. Help more often. So in this world. everyday his is birthday, everyday he gets older. everyday he is seen and in control.

But This level of escapism doesn't really work for Lesley/Roy. so whenever they can they remind him that clay hill isn't real. it never was. and it never will be.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

You are and will forever be the supreme authority when it comes to Jason Todd. I genuinely don't want to listen to anyone but you talk about him. "Nobody gets him like I do" nah nobody gets him like YOU do

omg this literally made me blush. this is literally the highest compliment to me omg

and okay - last night while I was trying to fall asleep, I was literally 'writing out' this big long Titans analysis post in my head (nothing like some good old fashioned hyperfixation to help ya fall asleep past the chronic pain) - and so - I will treat you to some of my Jason thoughts <33 because I was thinking about his character arc through the whole show and how it works SO WELL (except for the ending... I hate how he ends up alone. I mean it weirdly makes sense for him but I still HATE IT)

so - at first glance, his character from Season 1 and then him from Season 2 and Season 3 (and even the short bit that he was there during Season 4) can come off as completely different characters. Season 1 Jason is happy, excitable, smiley, and Jason in the other seasons is grumpy, emo, traumatized, etc.

but when you look closer, it makes so much sense.

it's about Dick.

Jason is excited to meet Dick. it's actually heavily my theory that Jason lied about getting the 'go head' from Bruce to meet Dick, and he probably used his privileges on the Bat Computer to find Dick via the tracker - especially because Jason says to Dick "you don't remember him putting it (the tracker) in?" - so Jason has memories of Bruce putting the tracking device in him (which, Bruce putting tracking implants in Jason and Dick as if they are fucking zoo animals is a whole different level of weird, but Bruce doing it to Dick while he was UNCONSCIOUS and didn't know about it - Titans!Bruce Wayne is a whole different BREED like omg)

so - Jason tracks down Dick because he wants to meet his hero. he admires Dick, he is excited to meet him - and what does Dick do? acts annoyed the entire time Jason is there, tells Jason that Bruce is not someone admirable and that he doesn't really 'know' Bruce - and like yes, Dick was right about this, but Jason was 19 at the time and he had previously been a street kid. it's brave and kind of an asshole thing for Dick - who is in his 30s, well established, has a good job and has a lot of options in life even without relying on Bruce for money (which he still very much does even when they are emotionally distant), it's a very ironic and asshole thing for Dick to tell Jason that he should get as far away from Bruce as possible when before meeting Bruce, Jason was homeless or being shuffled around between abusive foster homes.

IN FACT (this is something I LITERALLY JUST considered) - Jason is 19 at the time that he meets Dick, and he said that he was taken in by Bruce a year ago when he tried to steal the hubcabs off the Batmobile (which is a detail/origin taken from other places) - presumably, he thought the hubcabs would make him a lot of money as collectors item or just as an expensive car part to sell. he was 18 at the time, and he was probably homeless after ageing out of the foster system when he turned 18. like HELLO

it's one thing for Dick to try and warn Jason that Bruce is not a great person and he's not what he seems, but for Dick to tell Jason to 'get out while he can' when Jason's financial dependence on Bruce is way higher than Dick's ever was... like ooff. BOY. especially because - yes, Dick losing his parents was very tragic, but he never knew homelessness or abuse in the way that Jason did

Jason has even more of a hero complex toward Bruce because Bruce saved him from homelessness and starvation (and not just modestly, he gets to live in a fucking mansion now) and then asked him to become Robin - which to someone who is 17/18 is conceptually the coolest thing ever.

so - Jason is giggly, smiley, talkative and over excited because he is psyched to meet one of his heroes. and then that hero spends the next day crushing his spirit like a fucking slap-chop

and something that GET'S MEEE

okay - one. the 'brews'. the second that Jason gets into the safehouse, he says that he needs to 'check out the brew sitc' - and I think he's only using the word 'brew' instead of calling it 'beer' because he is actively trying to look cool in front of Dick. but ALSO - during the entire car ride, Dick has been glaring at him, has been very tense, is NOT excited to see him (even after Jason SAVED HIS LIFE, he's not thankful at all), and then Dick seems more angry when he finds out that he's no longer on the biometric lock system - but Jason is. and during the entire elevator ride, he berates Jason for wanting to be Robin instead of choosing 'his own' identity, even though Dick claims he doesn't want to be Robin either

so - to me, it feels like Jason wanted the beer to calm his nerves. like he goes for it AS SOON as he comes in the door, and for the rest of the scenes, he is seen clutching onto the beer bottle for dear life - as though it's calming his anxiety to have it. and we find out later in the episode that his family has a history of substance abuse that he is VERY casual about, including the fact that he was around alcohol and heavy drinkers from a young age because of that history.

(AAAAAND - this is a huge part of why the shift in his character makes so much sense to me. because they throw down the 'foster kid bullshit' lore and the story about Uncle Ray so flawlessly - like it's a joke, like Jason can joke about his past as if it's funny, but substance abuse is a problem for his family and it later becomes a problem for him.)

also - Jason having a fake ID trying to get into the bar (meaning that he has used it to buy booze in Gotham or has used it to get into bars in Gotham - so he drinks) - and when he sneaks into the bar, he picks up the drink on the bar that appears to be some kind of hard liquor and takes a sip of it without flinching??? - he is definitely a drinker, and it's definitely something he does to soothe his nerves. (especially because he is feeling rejected by Dick as a big brother/hero/mentor figure and he is looking to cope with the stress of that through alcohol - but in S1 it's played off as a joke.)

okay I wish I could find a gif of the exact moment I'm thinking of - and there is so much I could go into about Jason's S1 outfit - how he's wearing green and yellow with touches and red THE ROBIN COLOURS, clearly in admiration of his hero, and how his outfit is youthful and playful and colourful and in every other appearance (aside from the actual Robin costume and Red Hood) - he wears all black and wears very plain clothing - almost funeral like and very clearly emo

but okay there is this moment around ^^^ here where Dick tells them all to shut up and then Kory tells them to sit down, and when Kory and Dick go to the bathroom to check on Adamson, Jason very visibly sags. his whole posture sinks into himself and he doesn't try getting chatty with Rachel and Gar like he was with Dick - it becomes so clear that because Dick left the room, he has stopped trying to impress anyone. he just glares and sips his beer. (probably because he knows he is not being received well and he knows he wants to leave.) and this is such a huge taste of S2 Jason

and eventually the whole episode culminates in the big fight about Jason beating up cops - which only further drives home the class gap that Jason and Dick had growing up (I'm not sure want kind of monetary situation Dick had living with his circus family, but it's pretty clear from the way he acts that he's never really struggled for anything, so I have to say it wasn't bad) - Dick thinks all cops are innocent and uwu (and no, Jason shouldn't use Robin as an excuse to beat up cops because that makes the general public feel unsafe around Robin and it's about the principal and reputation - but Jason is soooo right when he says ACAB) - and he was homeless and he experienced the wrath of cops because of it

and the ending of the episode rips the bandaid off of Jason's hero complex toward Dick. so when we pick back up with Jason around Trigon - he wants to save Dick to rub it in his face, and because he 'owes' him - clearly, he wants Dick to be ON GOOD TERMS WITH HIM. he wants to save Dick so they can be friends, at the very least, even if the hero illusion is broken

(I am getting tired and my arms are getting worn out - fuck chronic illness, so here comes the end of the in depth analysis)

Donna telling Jason that he's not a real Titan, Hank calling him an asshole (even if he's joking), Trigon Dick telling Jason that he has darkness inside of him and he needs to be 'exterminated' because of it, Jason feeling like going to live at the Tower is a demotion - all of it really adds to a great transition to his mindset in season 2. and I think it's all really well informed if you look at the details

anyway - blah blah sad boy. he deserves a hug and Dick should have been first in line to give him one

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Yeonjun and Soobin Dynamic Reading

Okay, now on to these two for my next dynamic reading. I believe they are the most popular ship in TXT. I am not too familiar with TXT ships. I am just here for their music and have not dived into their dynamics too deeply and when I do, it is more about themselves, so let's see if I can get more here in this reading. Okay, this seems messy first look lol

Overall Energy: So, we start with the House 5 card, so they got a playful, childlike energy when they are around each other. Why do I see them enjoying games or playing together, but maybe they just have fun and laugh around each other. With this Cancer energy, there is a sense of comfort and brotherhood they both have. The need to comfort and support each other when need be. There is a strong comfort level they have when they around each other. A need to protect each other as well. Now, with this 10 of Swords, they both seem mentally drained and exhausted, it may be more on Soobin's end here. A lot of this mental exhaustion seems to weigh on this dynamic and hinder the process of this dynamic.

Yeonjun's Energy: He seem a little more stable on his end. Once again, this Magician card kind of gives me he is focused on his own thing, just trying to bring things that he wants to life. Beacuse of this he seems emotionally disconnected from Soobin or keeps his distance. It is like he is on his own personal self-journey. Also, he isn't someone who connects very well with his emotions, so it is hard for him to open up emotionally to Soobin. Once again, with this 2 of Pentacles Yeonjun seems to be trying to juggle multiple things, trying to get his goals sorted out, so not really focused on the dynamic to much, but I do feel they are on good terms.

With the Page of Swords and the Seeker archetype he got, there is a lot of curiosity Yeonjun has to learn and do things in life. Now, he could also be curious about Soobin as well. There is a willingness to want to learn more about him. This is more on an intellectual level than emotional. With this Judge card. I see Yeonjun as a rational, decisive person in this dynamic. He may help Soobin with decisions and deciding things in life. He may even ask for Soobin's opinion on things as well. I think he comes off more rational and matter of fact about things, while Soobin can be a bit more emotional. I am not seeing many cups here, so there isn't much emotional connection here.

Now, he also got the 4 of Pentacles, which means he does keep to himself and he is very career focused, that comes first to Yeonjun, so his dynamic will suffer or be pushed to the side due to this, I feel this is for all his relationships, but will see when I get to his other dynamics with members. He is very self-contained, so it is hard to get to know the deeper levels of Yeonjun. Not sure Soobin Knows. So, for his guidance. he got Lion Spirit. I am getting he needs to be bolder and take charge, not sure how that fits into this dynamic. I am also getting he needs to push his ego to the side a bit to allow this dynamic to flourish a bit more.

Soobin's Energy: Now, Soobin got the Lovers card and, in this deck, it is a very passionate card, does this boy have an intense desire for him, I see it here, I call it how I see it, no fucks giving. With this 5 of Swords, there is a person claiming Victory far away, and there is a dude with his hand on his head, looking distress. I see that as Soobin and Yeonjun as the dude far away. He may feel distressed that Yeonjun seems way too distant and focused on his goals and career. Ugh, I have not been seeing Yeonjun in the best light these past readings, but dude is about the money, no fucks giving about others to an extent. Yes, he cares, but not over his money and career. His first love is his career I am seeing. And the King of Pentacles, I feel that is more Yeonjun and with the Moon, he feels very down and sad that he doesn't seem invested in their dynamic as much. He also sees there are illusions about him. Ugh, don't like this message, but I am getting is he is thinking, I am drowning here, but he is all about the money yikes, because the person on the moon card is drowning in water, but then I have the King of Pentacles just focus on the coin, happy af Oh man, got something deep here.

So, with this Samaritan archetype in this dynamic, Soobin is willing to put himself out there to help him, even if he feels he doesn't put that same energy to him. So, with this Gossip card. I am going to be real, I think Soobin talks shit about him, because I do feel Soobin is a shit talker. He might be careful who he talks to, that information may go to a source you can't trust, but also he may talk shit to Yeonjun as well, now I am starting to understand why Yeonjun may not share things with him, because people who talk about others, are most definitely talking about you, so on Yeonjun's end I can now see why he may be a bit constrained around him and not as vulnerable.

Soobin also has Cancer energy, which they can be loyal, warm and sweet, but can also be manipulative, vengeful and resentful. So, although Yeonjun's energy may not look great. I do feel he may have his reasons for shutting down and just focusing on his career. I am going to be real; I feel Soobin is a bit problematic, I call it how I see it. I don't sugarcoat things, including my favorites. Now, Yeonjun can be as well, but Soobin is the type to just blame the other person but lacks self-awareness for his own faults. I saw this in his perspective reading as well. I always say perspective is important. I just feel Soobin's energy paints him as the bag guy, but he also shares blame for problems in their dynamic as well. I will also say Yeonjun has his problems and life to deal with, so he can't always cater to Soobin's needs, like maybe he feels he should. Now, the guidance for Soobin is Seahorse Spirit, this is a time for him to sit back and do nothing, just let things be, and maybe don't share things as much. To allow things to unfold. To not try too hard to keep a relationship going, just allow things to happen naturally.

Okay, didn't expect this to be as wild as it was lol I am glad I am doing these readings, because it has helped me understand these dynamics so much more now. Oh man, these dynamic readings have been so much fun, but not easy to do, can't wait to get to the ones I have planned next weekend.

[kamirai-k]

Haesol's Feeling on Yeonwoo

Heads up to anyone who's going to read this this is a very long post. ❤️

All right I was thinking about this for a while. And yesterday's discussion on whether Haesol really likes Yeonwoo really stirred up this topic more for me. Yesterday after the thread on Yeonwoo and Haesol having not kissed yet came up there was a topic in the comments about whether she really even liked him.

And for me I understand that she does like him but I needed to find a way to explain it. So I thought about it all day. (As you can tell I am very obsessed with this manhwa)

Here's a conclusion I came up with.

Haesol before Yeonwoo confesses to her pays attention to him. I mean that as in she actively tries to understand him better. In the beginning she thinks that he doesn't like her considering his jittery and nervous personality. This draws her attention considering how normally people will flock to her. Giving her more initiative to try to build a relationship with him.

This starting point in their relationship is out of pure curiosity and the more time she spends with him she understands that Yeonwoo is a kind, loyal and selfless person. She also knows that he's a good judge of character. So her liking him is not out of left field. In her eyes she has only seen good come from him. Whereas Yeonwoo who has only negative things to say about himself she only has positive things that she can say about him. Don't get me wrong though she can still see his flaws but in her eyes his positives outweighs negatives.

The more time she spends with him the more she is drawn to him. Yeonwoo has a naturally nurturing personality and for someone who hasn't had someone like that she is automatically drawn to him. When he helps Nari dispite them not knowing each other that well with her bullying incident. That makes her trust him more.

Haesol see this and the more she watches him and interacts with him she realizes that he is a genuinely good and caring person. Caring in a way that she has never experienced before. This is all in the beginning of their relationship by the way before he confesses to her.

When he confesses to her she knows all of this she sees all of this and the fact that he is a good friend of hers kind of puts her off because in the past friends have confessed her. but she realizes that his confession is different in the fact that he just wants to have her know what he feels for her he does not expect them to go out. When she realizes this she says well why not and just goes for it because as I said before she is drawn to him.

Giving her home life. someone like yeonwoo is exactly what she needs so it's very believable that she falls for him. And as the chapters go on it is quite obvious if you look at her character that she does like him. The way she talks to him and interacts with him you can tell that she cares about him. And the beach episode where she tells him I want to help you because even though she does see more positive than negative in him. She knows that he does not think of himself that way so she wants to help him see himself the way she sees him. She does genuinely care for him and wants to take care of him.

When analyzing a character like Haesol you have to look at her actions and not her face because if you look at her face you are not going to see any semblance of emotion given how emotionally numb she is. So I feel like that is why some people say that she doesn't like him because they don't look at her actions they look at her face. Also given the fact that in the beginning of their relationship she was very standoffish. However I like to say that she was nervous because let's remember she has never had a boyfriend before. So to her she is nervous but to us as the audience she seems standoffish and distant from yeonwoo. If we go by her actions she likes him. The fact that she is willing to have him be so close and that she initiates contact with him when she doesn't do that with someone like Jinwoo who she has known longer than Yeonwoo that speaks for itself.

I just wanted to get my opinion out there because there seems to be a lot of people who don't understand her character and who thinks that she doesn't like Yeonwoo. when in my eyes from the very beginning she did have an interest towards him and the longer they spent time together the more her image of him changed from someone who she thought of as a friend to someone who she thinks of as a lover.

Also let us remember this is a slow burn so the relationship is going to develop in a realistic way. Plus they're teenagers and they're going to be awkward.