#It doesn't help that he seems into me... If someone is... Emotionally distant then at least it's like... OK...

[mrfoox]

Um... Me trying to not be obsessive and possessive and annoying with new people is honestly such a clown fest. Like 🧍hi, I miss you, we spent time together yesterday 🧍 but I miss you and wonder when I can see you again 🧍 are you well? 🧍 What are you doing? 🧍Hello

[moonlight-prose]

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE

a/n: all i'm gonna say is this song is so benny coded i'm losing my shit over it. he's absolutely the man to leave you in tears by the end of the night. also someone stop me from writing heaps of angst for him, because i genuinely can't stop making wips in my drafts for him. this is entirely unedited because fuck it and i'm nervous he doesn't sound right, but oh well. the divider is made by the incredible @saradika-graphics.

summary: benny cross was trouble, he was a storm waiting to cause damage, he was everything you wanted. but men like him have a tendency to break hearts without even trying.

word count: 2.6k+

pairing: benny cross x f!reader

warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, crying, benny is a toxic man in this, emotionally constipated men, reader's favorite color is red. stupidity, violence, blood, fixing up wounds, makeup getting messed up, thigh riding, spitplay, he's filthy.

"He'll get you into trouble honey."

Five months ago you wouldn't have thought anything of the words Johnny said over a glass of whiskey, his eyes trained on the way you looked at Benny. The far off gaze that he'd seen cross his lady's face more often than he expected. At first it meant love—hope that you might finally meet the one you longed for—but reality always seemed to crash down around you quicker than you expected.

You laughed as if he told you a joke, a funny one liner that would be a distant memory on the day of your wedding to the man by the pool table. You thought nothing of his words and found yourself lost in the gaze of blue eyes and red knuckles.

You should have listened.

The door slammed shut with a resounding bang as you stormed through the small house—your jacket discarded over the leather chair Benny claimed belonged to him. Anger burned in your chest at the realization that one day...it wouldn't sit there. One day he'd leave and you would finally have the gall to throw that piece of shit outside. You glared at it as he followed you, shutting the door with a soft click, a distant sigh leaving his lips.

"Baby—"

In all the months you'd known him, Benny being scared was unthinkable. He was a man who made more trouble than he sought out, the same man who came home bruised, bloodied and begging for mercy. The man you promised to love forever. Yet when your gaze fixed him with a look that could have killed him if you weren't weaponless, you watched that small inkling of fear cross his eyes.

Benny was scared.

And not because he nearly got killed in a fight. Not because he leapt across the bar, a blade in his hand, and a smile on his lips. He felt terror at the thought that you—the person he found his little inkling of peace in—might finally be the one to turn him away.

Tonight very well could be your last straw in this relationship, the thing that finally cracked you in half, and Benny felt his heart drop to his stomach.

He swallowed thickly around words that would never leave his mouth, a cold sweat beginning to form along the back of his neck as you stayed silent. There was nothing either of you could say to fix what broke tonight. He threw the first punch and felt satisfaction at the crack that followed when his knuckles met bone and blood stained his skin.

"I'm s—"

You huffed, fingers curling into fists. "I swear if you so much as say a single word I will break your nose."

The grin that crossed his lips wasn't helping your anger—merely fanning the flames of something catastrophic—but he couldn't stop the thrill that nearly flipped his heart at your threat. His girl, so pretty and dolled up, ready to send a fist flying towards his face. Maybe he should talk to someone about why that made him smile. Why he wanted to kiss you senseless all of a sudden, until neither of you could breathe.

He should have realized it was fucked.

Instead he licked his lips and yearned for more.

Exhaling a deep breath, you closed your eyes to the image of him with blood still smeared across his knuckles and a bruise forming on his cheek. Johnny warned you. He told you Benny Cross was trouble. Yet even now, you found yourself unable to unravel the tangled thread that tied him to you. That set in stone your future with this man. You gave your heart over without thinking about the consequences. But wasn't that supposed to be what love is?

Weren't you meant to fall fast and quick and pick up the pieces later?

"Go sit down, I'll get the bandages," you muttered.

Thankfully, he didn't give you a fight on that front. He nodded silently, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth, as he took a seat in his chair. You half expected him to let your jacket fall to the ground. Instead he folded it gently, placing it on the couch with enough care to break down a small bit of your anger.

He wouldn't speak. Not until you asked him to.

But he could show you he loved you in ways that went unnoticed by others, yet meant everything to you.

You returned silently, handing him the first aid kit as you poured alcohol on the once clean towel. A feeling he often fled from began to eat at his insides, clawing up his throat, as you bent down to evenly wipe at his open cut. He didn't flinch, barely even registered the sharp sting of pain. His mind was reeling, heart pounding, with the knowledge that he felt guilty.

"Johnny warned me," you sighed, seeing the beige towel begin to turn red.

Benny hummed, blue eyes meeting yours—that soft gleam of an apology shining through. You tried to avoid looking at him, knowing your resolve would break. Not even you could deny how irritating his gift for softening you up was. Yet somehow...you always let him get away with it.

"He said you were trouble."

"Johnny says that about everyone," he sighed. He wanted to touch you, to place his hand on the back of your thigh as you stood between his legs.

The harsh and final swipe at his cut sent pain down his face. Enough to have him reaching for you blindly, a soft grunt falling past his lips as you began to clean his bruise. You should have pushed him off, maintained your level of anger, but with Benny things became complicated. Anger bled into your love until you couldn't discern between the two.

Love and hate toed that invisible border between the two, but with him...the line simply disappeared.

"I asked you to stop fighting." He handed you the bandage softly, still trying to meet your gaze. "I don't like you coming home broken. Bloody. Do you think this is fun for me Benny? Stitching you up every time?"

His breath washed across your wrist, eyes falling shut as the guilt practically ate him alive. You could see the conflict on his face. A struggle he didn't know how to win. Fighting was all he knew, all he could count on most days, and whether you liked it or not, it helped him keep the control he desperately needed. The one thing in his life that remained unwavering.

"No," he murmured into the skin of your wrist.

"Then why?"

"I just gotta do it baby."

Bullshit always sounded prettier coming straight from his mouth. More often than not you took it without a second guess. You let him be the wild man they needed—the person who would fight without question. But tonight as you watched him pummel a man into the ground, you caught a glimpse of your future. Of the path that you willingly said yes to.

And it terrified you.

"I know the club needs you," you sighed, cupping his face and finally meeting his soft gaze. "I know Johnny needs you. But so do I."

The sting of tears wasn't unfamiliar when it came to Benny, but you wanted it to be different. You didn't want to cry over his mistakes anymore, you didn't want him to be the reason you were like this. He let out a breath, his hands reaching for hips with a gentleness that gave you whiplash. There was no resistance in your body left, no arguments to be had, because this was just how things were.

Benny Cross remained himself at the end of all of this.

Even as you broke in his hold.

Tucking your face into his neck, you allowed your worries to slip into the background. What more could you do? When you loved a man so reckless he barely remembered to breathe before jumping headfirst into danger. His hand ran down your back, lips finding your temple, as the night began to settle, and you found yourselves back in the same spot. In a position that felt familiar.

"You've got me," he murmured, feeling the collar of his shirt grow damp with your tears.

"The club comes first though."

"I don't know what you want me to say—"

You shook your head and pressed your face into his palm, his thumb running along the top of your cheekbones. "That's just it Benny...you can't say anything I haven't heard before."

A flicker of something foreign creeped along his face, peeking its head out before sneaking off again. A part of him that he'd never share with you. The trepidation, the grief, the worry that he barely let himself feel. How could he give that to you? How could he let you see it all without scaring the shit out of you?

Keeping that to himself was what kept him there. It stopped him from running at a moment's notice. And you knew that.

You figured it out the day you met him.

"C'mere," he mumbled, gripping your chin with the softness of a lover who yearned to apologize but didn't know how.

So you fell into his touch and let his lips slide along yours. You kissed him back with a worn out sigh of pleasure, your hands creeping along the neck of his jacket—until your skin pressed against his. Benny didn't kiss you with passion or fervor. He kissed as if he had all the time in the world to do nothing but. To tease out every manner of sounds that might be trapped in your chest.

His tongue dipped into your mouth, hand gripping at your hip as his breathy grunt was swallowed by your lips. By the moan you fed him—the need that echoed from your chest directly into his.

"You taste like me," he groaned, his hand finding the back of your neck at the same time he gripped your ass, pushing you a bit closer. Until no space remained but the clothes you wore.

You smiled, stealing a quick bite to his bottom lip he felt right down to his cock. "I taste like cigarettes."

"My cigarettes."

"You all smoke the same cigarettes baby."

He mumbled something you couldn't hear—not because you didn't try, you did—because he chose that moment to press his thigh between your legs, catching you in a kiss before the sound could escape. What you might have recognized as a soft warmth that spread through your stomach, suddenly burned you on sight. A whine spilled from your mouth, your fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his neck, and yet he merely smiled against your lips.

Whatever argument that might have continued long into the night, died in the back of your mind the second he guided your hips along his leg. The rough fabric of his jeans catching along the seam of yours. You wanted to focus on him, to see the slightest bit of crimson dust his cheeks, but the haze of bliss began to bleed into your vision. Blurring anything but him and his thigh and the open mouth kisses he tracked along your throat.

"B-Benny—"

The squeeze on your ass let you know he was listening, and perhaps you were too far gone to realize how your heart fluttered at the touch. Maybe he knew that this was too much for you to give up on. The unconditional pleasure he was willing to give you.

The ache he could fill with ease.

"That's it," he mumbled against the corner of your lips, gripping your chin in his large calloused palm. "Ride it. Take what you want."

Soft panting breaths was all you could get out with each stunted grind of your hips along his leg. With any other person you might have felt ridiculous. Like you were the show they were paying for. But with Benny...you existed beyond whatever this was; you were the person he'd ride to hell and back with. The person who gave him a reason to come home.

He watched you with awe in his eyes, his thumb rubbing along the eye makeup that you cried off. The mascara that you'd later have to remove with his help.

"How do you feel?" he finally said, his voice a low rumble in his chest.

If he wanted coherent sentences, he wasn't getting them. And some part of him knew. He could see the effort it took to even keep your eyes open as blinding pleasure began to course through your body. Ripping at what anger might have remained and replacing it with want.

His name was a soft sigh on your lips, eyes glazed and begging for that final push. When it came to you, he willingly gave in, gave you the need that he could feel in his own body.

"What do you need?"

He knew what would push you over the edge; could practically see the plea in your eyes. And his lips curled at the sight. Your hips dragged along his thigh in short stunted thrusts, working yourself past the point of feeling that blistering ache in your legs. Pulling your face closer, he pinched your cheeks slightly, silently waiting for you to follow his move. He wasn't a patient man, but when it came to you...he'd endure centuries if it meant getting to have you like this.

"I know," he murmured, sliding his nose along your cheek. "Lemme give it to you."

With a soft moan, your lips parted open, fingers grabbing onto the front of his vest in the hopes that it would stabilize you. He dipped down licking into your mouth with a groan, before the all too familiar sensation of his spit landing on your tongue sent heat flaring towards your stomach.

"That's a good girl." Your eyes fluttered, body trembling. "Swallow."

Few things existed that made him feel that flutter in his chest. The sight of your eyes rolling back as the release you'd been aching for finally spilled over and down your spine, was at the top of his list. He'd watch it on repeat without ever tiring of what he could bring you to. A feeling that if taken away from him, would bring a sane man to madness.

"Benny," you sighed, feeling his forehead press to yours, his chest heaving with deep breaths as he tried to settle his body. You needed a moment to gather yourself before he dragged you back to that comfortable bed you made him find the first week you began dating him.

"I'm sorry."

The words weren't a promise, nor a confirmation that a future spent with him would change. Or even be easy. But you took what little he could give. The pieces of his heart he let you have, even as he fought everything screaming at him to leave.

"I know," you whispered, giving into his hug, and soaking in the affection he offered.

You came to the conclusion that this is where you differed. You loved with everything, all that you could give of yourself. And Benny loved like the wind. There for moments of the day, but gone by the time the moon began its ascent into the sky. You never knew when you'd finally catch him for good—perhaps you never would.

His hold tightened, lips finding yours, and it was then you finally settled on the answer you'd been searching for. You didn't want to find out the future, because this right here...this was enough.

[ikamigami]

I believe what Dark Sun told Foxy is true.

Maybe it's because of what he said about our Sun not surviving..

This.. I think that this cements it for me that Dark Sun isn't actually that bad.

I mean I think that he's not telling the full truth when he says that he only cares about his own ass.

Cause I think that he cares about something here. In our dimension. Or maybe about someone?

It might be just my wishful thinking but what if Dark Sun feels some kind of sentiment towards our Sun?

Cause when he was watching a bits from the channel it seemed to me as if he saw there something that he maybe wanted to be with his Moon or maybe he just in our Sun something he lost after all these times Moon refused to cooperate..

We were wondering on Discord when I still was active there how Dark Sun would feel about our Sun if he met him.

We didn't have them meeting each other and while Dark Sun didn't state that he hates our Sun for being a punching bag or that he feels a bit sympathetic towards him or that he doesn't care about him at all.. I feel like those little bits show that Dark Sun might actually feel sorry for our Sun.

I mean cause look, he told Moon that he should be worried about Sun and let him know where Sun is.. even though he could just simply say for example "don't worry about your dear Sun, check the lighthouse".. but he didn't. He said "you should be worried about Sun.."

And when Dark Sun was counting people who could built Eclipse - people who knows how to copy paste a personality - and he made a weird pause when he said Sun's name.. people thought that Sun is actually the one who is working with Ruin and helped him bring Eclipse back. But I think that Dark Sun hesitated because of how much our Sun doesn't believe in his own smarts. Sun can copy paste a personality - he did that with Moon's computer.. but remember how he said that it was just dumb luck?

And Dark Sun also said that Sun won't survive the aftermath of Ruin's "thanos' snap thing"..

And him watching their channel - he only later went to the episode with Ruin's interrogation - he was watching one of the games at first..

Doesn't it all seems odd to you? Why Dark Sun would be like that towards our Sun who "failed" in every way Dark Sun didn't?

Shouldn't he be angry at our Sun for being a doormat to everyone? For not being able to stand up for himself? Not being able to speak his mind to Moon?

Does Dark Sun might actually feel sorry for our Sun?

Maybe, and it might be my wishful thinking once again, Dark Sun isn't angry at our Sun because he.. gaah I can't find the right word xp..

Maybe Dark Sun admires, is sentimental about Sun's kindness?

I can't word it out how I want for the love of all that exist QwQ

What I mean is that Sun has this kindness and lots of empathy which is what Dark Sun lost. And I think that maybe Dark Sun feels some sort of grief.. for lack of better word.. it's like he's grieving who he was.

Cause like many people speculated me included that Dark Sun just became so cold, distant and emotionally detached to be able to stay on his ground, to be able to cut off the toxic people from his life - Moon literally and creator and Stitchwraith got killed. He has his peace but at what cost?

I think that our Sun is for Dark Sun a bitter-sweet reminder of what he had to sacrifice in order to achieve his peaceful life. I think that our Sun reminds Dark Sun of how he used to be as if he was looking at his younger self.

You know what I mean? It's similar to when you see yourself in someone else and you see all those aspects of you that were sweet but they're gone and you're not like that anymore. And you can't help it but to feel sympathy towards that person.

I think that the same is with Dark Sun. I think that he feels a little bit of sympathy towards our Sun because of how Sun is still kind and compassionate and forgiving. And Dark Sun used to be like that as well. And now he looks at Sun and can't help but to feel sympathy towards him. And he can't help but to feel sorry for Sun because of how much Sun struggles all because of his kind heart.

And because Dark Sun has a star - and interdimensional star at that - he probably saw things from future and he saw that Sun will try to do something to himself. Or that's what I think is the case.

I might be wrong but for me it can't be a coincidence with the way Dark Sun is whenver he mentions our Sun.

And that's why I think that he might want to try to prevent this from happening. But will he be successfull? Will he be able to convince others to listen to him?

We shall see. I can't wait to see what showrunners have in store for us.

At the end I'll say that I'm really happy to see that Foxy tries to do better as a father of FC this time and that he took FC with him to try and if kid can help with anything awwwww 💗

Also I wonder what are they doing wrong with the way they're trying to bring Solar back.. maybe they need Eclipse's help? Hmmm..

Either way something interesting will happen on April 8th to say the least.. I can feel it.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

You are and will forever be the supreme authority when it comes to Jason Todd. I genuinely don't want to listen to anyone but you talk about him. "Nobody gets him like I do" nah nobody gets him like YOU do

omg this literally made me blush. this is literally the highest compliment to me omg

and okay - last night while I was trying to fall asleep, I was literally 'writing out' this big long Titans analysis post in my head (nothing like some good old fashioned hyperfixation to help ya fall asleep past the chronic pain) - and so - I will treat you to some of my Jason thoughts <33 because I was thinking about his character arc through the whole show and how it works SO WELL (except for the ending... I hate how he ends up alone. I mean it weirdly makes sense for him but I still HATE IT)

so - at first glance, his character from Season 1 and then him from Season 2 and Season 3 (and even the short bit that he was there during Season 4) can come off as completely different characters. Season 1 Jason is happy, excitable, smiley, and Jason in the other seasons is grumpy, emo, traumatized, etc.

but when you look closer, it makes so much sense.

it's about Dick.

Jason is excited to meet Dick. it's actually heavily my theory that Jason lied about getting the 'go head' from Bruce to meet Dick, and he probably used his privileges on the Bat Computer to find Dick via the tracker - especially because Jason says to Dick "you don't remember him putting it (the tracker) in?" - so Jason has memories of Bruce putting the tracking device in him (which, Bruce putting tracking implants in Jason and Dick as if they are fucking zoo animals is a whole different level of weird, but Bruce doing it to Dick while he was UNCONSCIOUS and didn't know about it - Titans!Bruce Wayne is a whole different BREED like omg)

so - Jason tracks down Dick because he wants to meet his hero. he admires Dick, he is excited to meet him - and what does Dick do? acts annoyed the entire time Jason is there, tells Jason that Bruce is not someone admirable and that he doesn't really 'know' Bruce - and like yes, Dick was right about this, but Jason was 19 at the time and he had previously been a street kid. it's brave and kind of an asshole thing for Dick - who is in his 30s, well established, has a good job and has a lot of options in life even without relying on Bruce for money (which he still very much does even when they are emotionally distant), it's a very ironic and asshole thing for Dick to tell Jason that he should get as far away from Bruce as possible when before meeting Bruce, Jason was homeless or being shuffled around between abusive foster homes.

IN FACT (this is something I LITERALLY JUST considered) - Jason is 19 at the time that he meets Dick, and he said that he was taken in by Bruce a year ago when he tried to steal the hubcabs off the Batmobile (which is a detail/origin taken from other places) - presumably, he thought the hubcabs would make him a lot of money as collectors item or just as an expensive car part to sell. he was 18 at the time, and he was probably homeless after ageing out of the foster system when he turned 18. like HELLO

it's one thing for Dick to try and warn Jason that Bruce is not a great person and he's not what he seems, but for Dick to tell Jason to 'get out while he can' when Jason's financial dependence on Bruce is way higher than Dick's ever was... like ooff. BOY. especially because - yes, Dick losing his parents was very tragic, but he never knew homelessness or abuse in the way that Jason did

Jason has even more of a hero complex toward Bruce because Bruce saved him from homelessness and starvation (and not just modestly, he gets to live in a fucking mansion now) and then asked him to become Robin - which to someone who is 17/18 is conceptually the coolest thing ever.

so - Jason is giggly, smiley, talkative and over excited because he is psyched to meet one of his heroes. and then that hero spends the next day crushing his spirit like a fucking slap-chop

and something that GET'S MEEE

okay - one. the 'brews'. the second that Jason gets into the safehouse, he says that he needs to 'check out the brew sitc' - and I think he's only using the word 'brew' instead of calling it 'beer' because he is actively trying to look cool in front of Dick. but ALSO - during the entire car ride, Dick has been glaring at him, has been very tense, is NOT excited to see him (even after Jason SAVED HIS LIFE, he's not thankful at all), and then Dick seems more angry when he finds out that he's no longer on the biometric lock system - but Jason is. and during the entire elevator ride, he berates Jason for wanting to be Robin instead of choosing 'his own' identity, even though Dick claims he doesn't want to be Robin either

so - to me, it feels like Jason wanted the beer to calm his nerves. like he goes for it AS SOON as he comes in the door, and for the rest of the scenes, he is seen clutching onto the beer bottle for dear life - as though it's calming his anxiety to have it. and we find out later in the episode that his family has a history of substance abuse that he is VERY casual about, including the fact that he was around alcohol and heavy drinkers from a young age because of that history.

(AAAAAND - this is a huge part of why the shift in his character makes so much sense to me. because they throw down the 'foster kid bullshit' lore and the story about Uncle Ray so flawlessly - like it's a joke, like Jason can joke about his past as if it's funny, but substance abuse is a problem for his family and it later becomes a problem for him.)

also - Jason having a fake ID trying to get into the bar (meaning that he has used it to buy booze in Gotham or has used it to get into bars in Gotham - so he drinks) - and when he sneaks into the bar, he picks up the drink on the bar that appears to be some kind of hard liquor and takes a sip of it without flinching??? - he is definitely a drinker, and it's definitely something he does to soothe his nerves. (especially because he is feeling rejected by Dick as a big brother/hero/mentor figure and he is looking to cope with the stress of that through alcohol - but in S1 it's played off as a joke.)

okay I wish I could find a gif of the exact moment I'm thinking of - and there is so much I could go into about Jason's S1 outfit - how he's wearing green and yellow with touches and red THE ROBIN COLOURS, clearly in admiration of his hero, and how his outfit is youthful and playful and colourful and in every other appearance (aside from the actual Robin costume and Red Hood) - he wears all black and wears very plain clothing - almost funeral like and very clearly emo

but okay there is this moment around ^^^ here where Dick tells them all to shut up and then Kory tells them to sit down, and when Kory and Dick go to the bathroom to check on Adamson, Jason very visibly sags. his whole posture sinks into himself and he doesn't try getting chatty with Rachel and Gar like he was with Dick - it becomes so clear that because Dick left the room, he has stopped trying to impress anyone. he just glares and sips his beer. (probably because he knows he is not being received well and he knows he wants to leave.) and this is such a huge taste of S2 Jason

and eventually the whole episode culminates in the big fight about Jason beating up cops - which only further drives home the class gap that Jason and Dick had growing up (I'm not sure want kind of monetary situation Dick had living with his circus family, but it's pretty clear from the way he acts that he's never really struggled for anything, so I have to say it wasn't bad) - Dick thinks all cops are innocent and uwu (and no, Jason shouldn't use Robin as an excuse to beat up cops because that makes the general public feel unsafe around Robin and it's about the principal and reputation - but Jason is soooo right when he says ACAB) - and he was homeless and he experienced the wrath of cops because of it

and the ending of the episode rips the bandaid off of Jason's hero complex toward Dick. so when we pick back up with Jason around Trigon - he wants to save Dick to rub it in his face, and because he 'owes' him - clearly, he wants Dick to be ON GOOD TERMS WITH HIM. he wants to save Dick so they can be friends, at the very least, even if the hero illusion is broken

(I am getting tired and my arms are getting worn out - fuck chronic illness, so here comes the end of the in depth analysis)

Donna telling Jason that he's not a real Titan, Hank calling him an asshole (even if he's joking), Trigon Dick telling Jason that he has darkness inside of him and he needs to be 'exterminated' because of it, Jason feeling like going to live at the Tower is a demotion - all of it really adds to a great transition to his mindset in season 2. and I think it's all really well informed if you look at the details

anyway - blah blah sad boy. he deserves a hug and Dick should have been first in line to give him one

[lullabyalikpoptarot]

Yeonjun and Soobin Dynamic Reading

Okay, now on to these two for my next dynamic reading. I believe they are the most popular ship in TXT. I am not too familiar with TXT ships. I am just here for their music and have not dived into their dynamics too deeply and when I do, it is more about themselves, so let's see if I can get more here in this reading. Okay, this seems messy first look lol

Overall Energy: So, we start with the House 5 card, so they got a playful, childlike energy when they are around each other. Why do I see them enjoying games or playing together, but maybe they just have fun and laugh around each other. With this Cancer energy, there is a sense of comfort and brotherhood they both have. The need to comfort and support each other when need be. There is a strong comfort level they have when they around each other. A need to protect each other as well. Now, with this 10 of Swords, they both seem mentally drained and exhausted, it may be more on Soobin's end here. A lot of this mental exhaustion seems to weigh on this dynamic and hinder the process of this dynamic.

Yeonjun's Energy: He seem a little more stable on his end. Once again, this Magician card kind of gives me he is focused on his own thing, just trying to bring things that he wants to life. Beacuse of this he seems emotionally disconnected from Soobin or keeps his distance. It is like he is on his own personal self-journey. Also, he isn't someone who connects very well with his emotions, so it is hard for him to open up emotionally to Soobin. Once again, with this 2 of Pentacles Yeonjun seems to be trying to juggle multiple things, trying to get his goals sorted out, so not really focused on the dynamic to much, but I do feel they are on good terms.

With the Page of Swords and the Seeker archetype he got, there is a lot of curiosity Yeonjun has to learn and do things in life. Now, he could also be curious about Soobin as well. There is a willingness to want to learn more about him. This is more on an intellectual level than emotional. With this Judge card. I see Yeonjun as a rational, decisive person in this dynamic. He may help Soobin with decisions and deciding things in life. He may even ask for Soobin's opinion on things as well. I think he comes off more rational and matter of fact about things, while Soobin can be a bit more emotional. I am not seeing many cups here, so there isn't much emotional connection here.

Now, he also got the 4 of Pentacles, which means he does keep to himself and he is very career focused, that comes first to Yeonjun, so his dynamic will suffer or be pushed to the side due to this, I feel this is for all his relationships, but will see when I get to his other dynamics with members. He is very self-contained, so it is hard to get to know the deeper levels of Yeonjun. Not sure Soobin Knows. So, for his guidance. he got Lion Spirit. I am getting he needs to be bolder and take charge, not sure how that fits into this dynamic. I am also getting he needs to push his ego to the side a bit to allow this dynamic to flourish a bit more.

Soobin's Energy: Now, Soobin got the Lovers card and, in this deck, it is a very passionate card, does this boy have an intense desire for him, I see it here, I call it how I see it, no fucks giving. With this 5 of Swords, there is a person claiming Victory far away, and there is a dude with his hand on his head, looking distress. I see that as Soobin and Yeonjun as the dude far away. He may feel distressed that Yeonjun seems way too distant and focused on his goals and career. Ugh, I have not been seeing Yeonjun in the best light these past readings, but dude is about the money, no fucks giving about others to an extent. Yes, he cares, but not over his money and career. His first love is his career I am seeing. And the King of Pentacles, I feel that is more Yeonjun and with the Moon, he feels very down and sad that he doesn't seem invested in their dynamic as much. He also sees there are illusions about him. Ugh, don't like this message, but I am getting is he is thinking, I am drowning here, but he is all about the money yikes, because the person on the moon card is drowning in water, but then I have the King of Pentacles just focus on the coin, happy af Oh man, got something deep here.

So, with this Samaritan archetype in this dynamic, Soobin is willing to put himself out there to help him, even if he feels he doesn't put that same energy to him. So, with this Gossip card. I am going to be real, I think Soobin talks shit about him, because I do feel Soobin is a shit talker. He might be careful who he talks to, that information may go to a source you can't trust, but also he may talk shit to Yeonjun as well, now I am starting to understand why Yeonjun may not share things with him, because people who talk about others, are most definitely talking about you, so on Yeonjun's end I can now see why he may be a bit constrained around him and not as vulnerable.

Soobin also has Cancer energy, which they can be loyal, warm and sweet, but can also be manipulative, vengeful and resentful. So, although Yeonjun's energy may not look great. I do feel he may have his reasons for shutting down and just focusing on his career. I am going to be real; I feel Soobin is a bit problematic, I call it how I see it. I don't sugarcoat things, including my favorites. Now, Yeonjun can be as well, but Soobin is the type to just blame the other person but lacks self-awareness for his own faults. I saw this in his perspective reading as well. I always say perspective is important. I just feel Soobin's energy paints him as the bag guy, but he also shares blame for problems in their dynamic as well. I will also say Yeonjun has his problems and life to deal with, so he can't always cater to Soobin's needs, like maybe he feels he should. Now, the guidance for Soobin is Seahorse Spirit, this is a time for him to sit back and do nothing, just let things be, and maybe don't share things as much. To allow things to unfold. To not try too hard to keep a relationship going, just allow things to happen naturally.

Okay, didn't expect this to be as wild as it was lol I am glad I am doing these readings, because it has helped me understand these dynamics so much more now. Oh man, these dynamic readings have been so much fun, but not easy to do, can't wait to get to the ones I have planned next weekend.

[persy-r-bozo]

DHMIS- The Yappining! 2/6 - Yellow

i diddnt know who to fully start with! so i decided yellow was my first victim.

Yellow is a very interesting character. he tends to play into the "Dumb yet sweet" character trope. but the steady reveal that this cannot be farther from the truth is amazing.

I feel him and his reflection could mean alot of things. and i believe it does. a part of me thought it could resemble the two sad sides of neurodivergent Youth. "The gifted" and "The trouble maker" gifted kids tend to be given to much pressure to succeed and troubled ones are ignored or just pushed aside.

i don't think the car killed him, just hurt inside and out. Causing a drift within an already possibly drifting family. (Perhaps this switch disappointed some. or made others go mad.) I think the gravestone and mirror could simply mean that version of him is dead. someone who cant be brought back. He's still the same, just not the way others might have wanted him to be.

The batteries could be a metaphor for meds. or hell he could be a cyborg. I mean his dad made a computer that just spawned bitches so i wouldn't put it past him.

the show or the world their stuck within tried to paint yellow stupidly. However he is quite emotionally intelligent. the world tries to paint him as useless but he isn't. I like the idea that yellow can read people very well. he can understand them in ways that make him super helpful, however he has issues with words and thought, often stumbling over himself.

his kindness and optimism is both a blessing and a curse. it makes him easy to control, but it also makes him a sense of stability and comfort.

he is such an interesting character!. a melancholy character. a sunshine behind a cloud. from a blind and innocent lad within the web series to a more dependable one later on. he has much to overcome, we can only hope he may.

But lets get into the-

-RELATIONSHIP VIEWS-

Red: Yellow and red are a very interesting pair. i feel as though yellow likes red. but he can read him, probably better than red can even read himself. Yellow can sense he is a ticking time bomb. that despite his quiet, he is breaking. so yellow is distant, keeping himself always a few steps away, just in case. He trusts red, its hard not to feel a little protected with a big fellow around. but yellow can just sense it. that red could snap, and that trust might break too.

Duck: THATS HIS RIDE OR DIE RIGHT THERE!. his ride or die! yellow loves duck, and feels a sense of comfort from him i think. I like to believe that duck might have even been a non related uncle of sorts. the brain fog may persist but you never forget that one guy whose never related to yall but still shows up. They are chaotic and i love them. while yellow can read people very well but cannot speak very well. Duck cannot read people for shit BUT BOY, IS HE LOUD N PROUD. They are two puzzle pieces together. pure chaotic opposites. This may cause big fights between the two but oddly enough i feel there's potential for the two to work really well together too. What im saying is PLEASE PLEASE IF WE GET ANOTHER SEASION I WANT TO SEE DUCK AND YELLOW HAVE THIER OWN ADVENTURE AND ITS CHAOTIC AND MESSY AND FUNNY AS FUCK PLEASE!!-

Roy: Roy is more sad. yellow loves him, yet that love is not mutual. and if it was it wasn't true families love, as it never stayed. Yellow flinches when Roy shows up in family. Yet he still wants to believe he came for him. Maybe yellow will realize this. that even though he loves him, He's not a good puppet person.

Lesley: This is interesting. If we are to believe she is his mother. he surely doesn't remember her. He Seems uncomfortable within her presence and skittish. But he stays and tries to be sweet. Maybe the reason he seems so skittish around her is because she might be the only creature he cant read that well. She's a mystery, her minds a mystery her everything is an enigma. Even to him. I don't think he remembers her at all. But one things for sure, even in the face of the unknown my boy aint rude.

EXTRA YAP JUST FOR YOU GUYS <3 !!!!!!!!!!

Yellow and clayhill-

Even though clay hill issnt cannon in the slightest and is played as a joke for all the older fans and the creators themselves IM A FREAKAZOID OK? IM INSANE! (i made a small headcannon weird thingy about yellow guy and clayhill to fit clayhill and its "Inexistence" into the series.) BEACUSE IM A MAD MAN OK!!?

I thought of the idea of clayhill being yellows little fanfiction (Babes first fanfiction!! he's following in the footsteps of his eldritch world building parents / guardians!!! <3 ) Yellow used it as a way to vent his little brain foggy daja vu head away.

Ill go though what i remeber clayhills plot line to be. Key thing is remember because I live in the US and i learned off of word of mouth mostly.

Its yellows ideal situation. hes with the other two. they are safe in a town with neighbors and people who love them and see them. Red is calmer, duck is more joyous. its yellows birthday today!. But a mean key comes to life and the mayor is missing.

Duck follows the key and is manipulated and hurt by steave. Yellows venting his frustrations with ducks blind following of the world even though it hurts him. but he understands, its because some of the objects are just so mean. Red runs away, Yellows venting his fears or daja vu like feeling that red will run away. leaving him all alone. He understands it might be for the greater good (finding the mayor) but he is still scared.

Yellow on the other hand, Gets a make over, he outsmarts an object. he finds a way to rescue duck and find red. to save the entire town and have his birthday party at home!. and i believe someone said the age on his badge changed from 38 to 48?

well if it did that might be yellow wishing to be older. Thinking if he was older he could control more things, talk better. Help more often. So in this world. everyday his is birthday, everyday he gets older. everyday he is seen and in control.

But This level of escapism doesn't really work for Lesley/Roy. so whenever they can they remind him that clay hill isn't real. it never was. and it never will be.

[tempenensis]

If you have time, do you mind helping me with some character analysis? Gojo is very hard to write because he's a very internalized person who doesn't actually show his inner thoughts very often. The times we get them, he is much more serious and analytical than his frivolous personality is meant to show.

Gojo is popular for the same reason that people hate him: truthfully we don't know much about *him* when it comes to the kinds of details which can be used to figure out where someone's personality came from. He comes from a privileged background, so there's lots of people who assume that he never really went through any troubles - that he never had moments of self-doubt or needed to find his place in the world, that his powers likely came easy to him because he's a prodigy, that his family "spoiling" him meant that he was never subjected to the cruel or intense training we know some of the nobles have set up in their family homes. He's also always been special, and it's unlikely that he ever had a desire to be a total non-sorcerer. He could walk away any time he wanted, like Yuki, and it's not like anyone could stop him either.

And Gege never truly refutes this. Gojo's personality is also so good at pretending nothing ever touches him (thematic!) that from the surface it could seem true. He is not the kind of person to be filled with self-pity so we never get panels of him hashing out his situation with the other characters (not that he can because no one is his equal enough to do this...). He's so busy he literally doesn't have time to dwell. He has been shown spending time with his friends, but no one wants to talk about the shit job they all do during down time, they unwind and talk about regular stuff, like regular people, and simply enjoy the company.

But deduction also tells us that people who grew up normal and well adjusted don't behave the way he's behaving. (Nobara and Yuuji had the most normal sounding childhoods of all the students and it shows, even behind the typical shonen characterization).

Clearly, the flashback arc is shown because in a way that is the origin story of the current conflict, and the origin of Gojo's current personality (Geto had a lot of positive influence on him).

Gojo turns against the sorcerer system because it cost him Geto, not because of anything that may or may not have happened to him. He was doing every mission the higher-ups could possibly have sent him on after Riko died. He wasn't rebelling against the system, he was trying to solve it by becoming the single solution all on his own. Again, not the response of a well-adjusted person.

He was not originally the kind of person to take revenge or turn against a system for personal issues, although he later becomes a little like this when he starts taking young sorcerer's under his wing.

There's a lot of fandom speculation that has hints that these things could to be true:

He was spoiled by his family, but they were emotionally distant in the way of all sorcerer families, praising the technique and seeing the technique instead of the child who was wielding it. It's possible he doesn't associate closely with his clan apart from very structured social patterns because he realizes that being "special" never meant he didn't deserve being treated like a child or taught how to behave. He's perfectly aware he has a "bad personality" and knows that this is in part because of how he was raised.

He projects emotionally onto the students in his care, and acknowledges that something about the way he was treated (mostly as a fine commodity) was deeply unfair, but he hasn't actually found another way except to acknowledge at the end of the day that this job gives you trauma and it's usually not worth dying for unless that's your thing (I mean how he throws the students into situations where they think they're going to die and his concession is to place himself as the safety net), and that you shouldn't miss age-appropriate events just because some grown up tells you to become a better little cog.

A lot of the fandom likes to assume that using Six-Eyes is overstimulating or possibly painful for him right away because at least then there's a cost to his using his power, and once again the sorcerer system doesn't care about the cost to its workers (I'm not sure about the right away part. we know that if he doesn't cover his eyes he gets tired, but Gege doesn't want to give gojo any weaknesses so who knows how long it takes).

Gojo is maybe not "afraid" of getting truly close to people but he keeps people at arm's length. No one at this point could bear the burden he does, and that's what he believes it means to be his equal. It's possible but unlikely that if someone reached out to him first, he would let him. We know touching Infinity can feel like you're touching him from the first vs.Jogo fight, and it's likely he truly does keep it on all the time, leaving him physically and psychologically prepared to keep anyone from touching him at all times, even if they don't realize it...

(Overall, it's very funny to me that Gege's friends apparently think his personality is like Gojo's. It makes it more understandable why he wouldn't want to talk about his character, or be annoyed that the person who is a secondary became too popular, but also the cat is a troll and is the kind of person to laugh and walk away if you try to ask them a question -_-. However, if you take the answers we do have literally, it sounds like Gege accidentally made a character with a lot of depth, but he doesn't want to deal with it…)

But we have no answers to the truth of these presumptions in a lot of cases, and I could keep going but I'm running out of steam and I'm already sorry to put so much in your inbox….

I know you don't give headcanons because your blog is more textual analysis blog, so I won't ask for them! Part of me is not even sure what to ask, because we simply have no answers, and I don't think anyone is going to give them to us. That's fine because fandom wants and needs space to do its own interpretations of the character, but when you want an answer that isn't there, it can truly feel like diving off a cliff to make that choice all on your own and run with it (cries because that means there are literally infinite choices to make and each of them alters the story a little).

Maybe what I'm really asking is, if you have time, would you pick apart my characterization of Gojo above? I'm a bit curious about what you agree with and what you disagree with because you're so good with finding the text evidence! I already appreciate you reading if you've gotten this far, and I appreciate all the work you do in the fandom. I won't feel bad if you refuse (not that you will, but I just want to make it clear I have no expectations!!) Thank you again so much for all you do and for letting us play in the space with you!

Hi, anon!

If you're asking about my opinion, I must say, this is pretty solid read. I agree with almost everything that you said, and can't really add much to this. Gege had said before that he "has no personality", I think that means he doesn't think too much about Gojou's character, unlike for example Yuuji or Nanami. This makes us learns more about him by crumbles dropped here and then - and not a lot actually told explicitly in the manga. ((it sounds like Gege accidentally made a character with a lot of depth, but he doesn't want to deal with it)) is actually a good point lol, fans' interest in Gojou is definitely deeper than Gege himself.

One of the most interesting thing about him is that despite his vocal opposing of the current jujutsu system, he still does his duty to this very system that he opposes. Even if he messes around sometimes, Gojou is the only special-grade sorcerer who actually goes to missions assigned to him and has been mentioned to clean other sorcerers' messes - which is why he is so busy all the time. This speaks more about him knowing that his priority lies in saving other's lives. I think for him, he is an actual proper jujutsushi who has lived as one since he was born because of the techniques he inherited - maybe the point of being a jujutsu sorcerer and what he has to do has been driven to him since he can handle his own technique. So all he knows is to be a jujutsushi first - and his desire to change the system only comes later, after he saw what this system does to people around him, especially Riko and Getou. Even then, he tries to change it from inside, as jujutsushi who is one under the very system he want to change. All he knows is how to live as a jujutsushi and he doesn't seem to want to stop being one, even if it means he can destroy the system from outside. He wants jujutsushi to continue, but with a better system, not to stop or destroy all of them entirely.

[yeonsols-garden]

Haesol's Feeling on Yeonwoo

Heads up to anyone who's going to read this this is a very long post. ❤️

All right I was thinking about this for a while. And yesterday's discussion on whether Haesol really likes Yeonwoo really stirred up this topic more for me. Yesterday after the thread on Yeonwoo and Haesol having not kissed yet came up there was a topic in the comments about whether she really even liked him.

And for me I understand that she does like him but I needed to find a way to explain it. So I thought about it all day. (As you can tell I am very obsessed with this manhwa)

Here's a conclusion I came up with.

Haesol before Yeonwoo confesses to her pays attention to him. I mean that as in she actively tries to understand him better. In the beginning she thinks that he doesn't like her considering his jittery and nervous personality. This draws her attention considering how normally people will flock to her. Giving her more initiative to try to build a relationship with him.

This starting point in their relationship is out of pure curiosity and the more time she spends with him she understands that Yeonwoo is a kind, loyal and selfless person. She also knows that he's a good judge of character. So her liking him is not out of left field. In her eyes she has only seen good come from him. Whereas Yeonwoo who has only negative things to say about himself she only has positive things that she can say about him. Don't get me wrong though she can still see his flaws but in her eyes his positives outweighs negatives.

The more time she spends with him the more she is drawn to him. Yeonwoo has a naturally nurturing personality and for someone who hasn't had someone like that she is automatically drawn to him. When he helps Nari dispite them not knowing each other that well with her bullying incident. That makes her trust him more.

Haesol see this and the more she watches him and interacts with him she realizes that he is a genuinely good and caring person. Caring in a way that she has never experienced before. This is all in the beginning of their relationship by the way before he confesses to her.

When he confesses to her she knows all of this she sees all of this and the fact that he is a good friend of hers kind of puts her off because in the past friends have confessed her. but she realizes that his confession is different in the fact that he just wants to have her know what he feels for her he does not expect them to go out. When she realizes this she says well why not and just goes for it because as I said before she is drawn to him.

Giving her home life. someone like yeonwoo is exactly what she needs so it's very believable that she falls for him. And as the chapters go on it is quite obvious if you look at her character that she does like him. The way she talks to him and interacts with him you can tell that she cares about him. And the beach episode where she tells him I want to help you because even though she does see more positive than negative in him. She knows that he does not think of himself that way so she wants to help him see himself the way she sees him. She does genuinely care for him and wants to take care of him.

When analyzing a character like Haesol you have to look at her actions and not her face because if you look at her face you are not going to see any semblance of emotion given how emotionally numb she is. So I feel like that is why some people say that she doesn't like him because they don't look at her actions they look at her face. Also given the fact that in the beginning of their relationship she was very standoffish. However I like to say that she was nervous because let's remember she has never had a boyfriend before. So to her she is nervous but to us as the audience she seems standoffish and distant from yeonwoo. If we go by her actions she likes him. The fact that she is willing to have him be so close and that she initiates contact with him when she doesn't do that with someone like Jinwoo who she has known longer than Yeonwoo that speaks for itself.

I just wanted to get my opinion out there because there seems to be a lot of people who don't understand her character and who thinks that she doesn't like Yeonwoo. when in my eyes from the very beginning she did have an interest towards him and the longer they spent time together the more her image of him changed from someone who she thought of as a friend to someone who she thinks of as a lover.

Also let us remember this is a slow burn so the relationship is going to develop in a realistic way. Plus they're teenagers and they're going to be awkward.

[cowboycharmac]

(okay reposting bc tumblr autosave deleted a lot of my post </3 rip) on a slightly more depressing note do you ever think about how terrible mac is at taking care of things specifically in a parental context and get so sad because i do. mac as a person isnt inherently bad at taking care of things, he's fairly good at taking care of dennis (although his own insecurities and paranoias do negatively impact the relationship) and from what we see in the show he does the majority of homemaking work in the macden household and is generally pretty good at taking care of their apartment (unless it's on fire). but as soon as he reframes a relationship as a parental one he cant seem to figure it out.

the most obvious example of this is when he and dee take care of D.B/dumpster baby. now, character conflict is pretty par for the course for shows doing the "two characters adopt a baby" trope. however, in most shows ive seen it done, the progression is typically slower and/or more natural, from either a disparity in labour between maternal and paternal figures (often with the paternal figure slowly checking out and doing less and less work), or from one character being shoved into a role they didnt want. "the gang finds a dumpster baby" uses both of these, but what makes it interesting to me is how quickly and deliberately mac incites that conflict.

he seems eager and excited to take care of the baby and volunteers immediately, but as soon as he and dee get home from baby shopping he shoves everything off on her and becomes emotionally distant and angry when she tries to ask for help. this change in attitude is sudden and seemingly brought about by nothing in particular, he hasnt yet experienced anything that might make him realize that taking care of a baby is actually a pretty demanding job that he might not be interested in, and to me, at least, it doesnt read like he's genuinely annoyed at her or rejecting his self imposed paternal role. instead, he's still just play acting at what he thinks fatherhood should look like. he's still trying to give D.B his version of a "biblical" nuclear family, like he says he wants to when he pressures dee into taking on the maternal role, but he's using his own parents as a model for this and deliberately recreating the toxic environment he grew up in because he thinks that's how you're meant to raise a child.

it's also really interesting to me that he chose dee for this. mac and dee don't team up a lot, and when they do, it's typically because everyone else is off doing something else. sure, he's adamant that D.B needs to be raised by a man and a woman, and dee is the only woman in the gang, but he doesn't even consider trying to find D.B a mom outside of the gang.

given how he seems repulsed by dee in both a romantic and sexual context and in a nuclear family the dynamic between the mother and father is typically both, and given their platonic dynamic is strained as it is, this is odd. there are plenty of single women in philadelphia, and there are other women in mac's own life he gets along with a lot better (and who do/would make better mothers), like carmen (who hes on good enough terms with that they engage in a relationship just a bit later in the season).

to me it seems like he chose someone like dee, who he doesn't get along with very well, who has both anger and emotional intimacy issues, and who emphatically rejects motherhood when he thrusts it upon her, not because he thinks she's his only option, but because shes the person he thinks is most likely to behave like his own mother in that position. (little bit of gay mac meta here, it also feels like maybe he chose a woman he had a distinctly platonic dynamic with and who wouldnt expect anything else from him so as to avoid needing to have a sexual or romantic relationship with his female partner in this constructed family)

theres also of course the dynamic between dennis jr, mac, and dennis in mac and dennis move to the suburbs. admittedly this one is a lot less interesting to me because the parallels to his own parents are less intentional on mac's part, however i do have some thoughts about it. here, he takes on the maternal role. dennis, from his own and the audiences perspective, isnt helping "raise" dennis jr at all and isnt really involved here. however, from macs perspective, dennis is taking on a paternal role, not necessarily because of, but also not in spite of the fact that he's away for most of the day, emotionally distant, and doesnt seem to be helping take care of or even interacting with dennis jr on a regular basis.

granted, mac isn't taking care of dennis jr either. despite seeming excited to "raise [the dog] like [his and dennis'] own son", he's despondent and neglectful, much like his own mother, and dennis jr. starves to death. from what we see of his mother on the tape from mac's childhood in "a very sunny christmas", she, like mac, wasn't always dull. although we dont really see her interact with mac and i have no doubt that she was a subpar mother and person for all of mac childhood (she is more than complicit in the robbing of peoples homes in this same episode), she has more normal emotional responses to things like receiving a gift, and she appears to genuinely like luther. i dont think its too much of a stretch to assume that she, like mac, let her emotional issues with an absent or distant partner interfere with her role as a parent. the only difference is that mac, unlike dennis jr, is a human child who is presumably old enough to do the bare minimum to keep himself alive by the time she checks out.

anyways sorry this post kind of got away from me. it just makes me so sad. mac wants to be a parent but he has no real frame of reference for that, he wants so badly to take care of something but he cant help neglecting it because to him it seems normal that parents shouldnt need to take care of their child, that children should have to care of themselves. hes so adamant that his relationship with his parents is normal, healthy, and loving that he'll ruin even a pale mimicry of a family trying to recreate it.

[lostusagis]

Kamui's mental state

( This is all headcanons I came up with based off how I saw his character while watching Gintama. I wanted to go more in depth about it.

Anyway, everyone already knows I headcanon him having depression and anxiety, recently decided I'm adding BPD to that too after doing research. If I made any errors regarding it just lmk :)

Depression is something he struggles with a lot. Having a good day, then waking up the next day and feeling absolutely miserable. He gets frustrated by it, but to help him deal with it he will be clingy with someone he's close with or bother his sister just so he won't have to think about anything. If he's alone, he'll spiral badly and have a whole mental breakdown. That's how bad his thoughts can be. He tries hard to ignore them, but sometimes they win.

His anxiety can kick in really badly if someone he cares about gets hurt or sick. Boy, I wonder why? Oh yeah, flashbacks to seeing his mother sick in bed. In general, whenever he's depressed, his anxiety can also be really bad as well. He'll look really jumpy, unable to stay still, fiddling with his hands etc, etc. It really depends on how bad it is, but when he's anxious, he also sometimes does things that can harm himself. Like punching something to the point that his hands and knuckles are bleeding, or even scratching up his face. He's really strong too so these injuries aren't any joke. But self harm usually happens during mental breakdowns and panic attacks. It really depends on the situation though.

But yeaah. a reason why I say he has BPD..... Well, for one he's really nonchalant about dying. He's not scared of it, and on those really bad days he even actively wants it to happen. It has a lot to do with the hatred he has towards himself. Believing he could've saved his mother if he was stronger. Believing it was his fault. Whenever he thinks about that, he wishes he was dead to be honest. He hates himself so much over that, despite the fact that he was a child at the time and nothing could be done anyway. His thoughts tend to be really unreasonable.

He's really strong, so him getting killed in a fight is unlikely but a lot of the time he'll have thoughts like ''Would be nice if this guy killed me actually.'' and stuff like that. Death feels like an escape from all the thoughts constantly consuming his mind. He wishes it would finally happen one day. What's worse is that he keeps all of this to himself, he doesn't like letting anyone know how much he's suffering internally. You might get him talking about his mom, but everything else it's extremely unlikely he'll mention it. Sometimes he'll even be extremely distant too. He handles everything in really unhealthy ways, which is why his emotions always end up being pent up.

Sometimes his emotions are soooo pent up he'll lash out in anger too. Especially if something reminds of the past, or if someone tries to force him to open up.

Also, regarding relationships. He's definitely super sweet when in love but...... he can become incredibly emotionally dependent on his partner. Meaning that he'll lose it if he's not around them. He'll also get suuuuuuuper anxious if they end up upset with him. More likely than not, his partner also helps him to not think about those bad thoughts. Another reason he'll feel a desperate need to constantly be around them. He doesn't want to think about it, he just wants to focus on the object of his affections. Nothing else.

It's a constant for his mind to yell things at him like:

'You're worthless.''

''It's your fault.''

''You can't do anything right.''

''You deserve to die.''

And he's just really tired, he doesn't want to hear it anymore. But it doesn't stop, all he could do is try to ignore it by having something to distract him. Otherwise he'll be drowning in the feelings of worthlessness he's carried since he was a kid.

The feelings of worthlessness only seem to get stronger every time he ends up crying, because he feels weak and pathetic. He tries really hard to be strong, all the Yatos that follow him see him as strong and respect him for that. But when he cries, he feels like he lost all that strength. He feels like that weak little boy who watched as his mother got sicker and sicker and it drives him insane.

He has a lot of intrusive thoughts too. Not much of a surprise they usually involve murder. Sometimes he DOES kill just to feel better, sometimes it doesn't help though. Sometimes these thoughts involve him just disappearing without a trace, or even just..... killing everyone around him, including those he cares about (this isn't one he's actually acted on but sometimes he's gotten close. He's managed to control the urge though. )

Sighs, but yeah he's a fucking mess <3 )

[shamrock313]

Evan and Nat (Aug 3rd)

This reading is for entertainment purposes only. Please take everything you read with a grain of salt. Enjoy!

Please note that the cards change all the time. Sometimes we get good and other times we get a mix. I had an anon ask me if I think these two are becoming serious and I think it is.

I would like to mention that I got some oracle cards and they will be added to this reading. So, I will have them down as OC in the reading.

Nat POV: 8 of Wands (rev), Wheel of Fortune, Devil, and 10 of Swords = There's misunderstanding and confusion. She shouldn't push this relationship. Needs to be patient. Relationship is changing / navigating the change within the relationship. This could be about them moving in together or taking the next step into their relationship. Making adjustments. Codependency. She's addicted to Evan. They have chemistry, but there are dark undercurrents to this relationship.

Breakup, sadness, grief, infidelity. Once again, she's trying to make this relationship work. She doesn't want to leave. Picture her holding onto the door as someone tries to pull her out.

OC: Pros: Connection, interested, moving in. Cons: Using you, Boundaries, Pretending, Hookup. OC #2: Spy and Gold Digger. I think with spy it means she's either observing how the fans are checking on her or she knows we're watching which I mean come on who isn't? Gold Digger could mean what we think it means or this is helping her grow in her career or he's helping her financially.

Evan POV: 10 of Wands (rev), 9 of Cups (rev), and Ace of Cups (rev) = Failure to share burdens. Partner wants to be an emotional support to him. Doesn't want to hurt or tell her his worries. Holding in pain causes him to become emotionally distant. Superficial relationship. Looks great on paper, she checks the boxes but something is missing. Lack of deeper connection? Only putting himself in the relationship to avoid working on himself. Sadness, separation, vulnerability, insecurity in love. Afraid to open up.

OC: Pros: Dreamy, Lovestruck, Swipe Right, I'm Ready. Cons: Ghosted and Immature. OC #2 Caution and Gambling. I think with gambling this is talking about addiction issues and financial issues so again he might be helping her or this could imply something else. Caution of course is a warning.

Overall Dynamic: 2 of Swords, Moon (rev), 5 of Cups, Magician (rev), and King of Swords (rev) = Choosing between love, work, and family. Trying to resolve issues. Someone doesn't want to address issues (most likely Evan) and it's piling up. Uncertainty about relationship. Avoiding the red flags. Deception, fear, and paranoia in love. Keep hearing "I don't wanna start over" (this is Evan). A man who is emotionally immature. Manipulation?

2oS along with 5oC indicates disappointment, inner conflicts toward someone. Someone is torn between two choices and they are grieving about it. In their mind they have to choose one or the other. 5 of Cups is also about being nostalgic. Not looking at what is around them. Avoiding it.

SLOW DOWN

Someone is refusing to accept the truth or being blindfolded by choice. Again, this is them trying to avoid the issues that are there. Both partners need to start being HONEST and open up to each other's about one's feelings towards the other. Miscommunication. Beating around the bush. A relationship that is not as it seems to public, unbalance, physical attraction, and lack of emotional support.

OC: Moving in (I think we can confirm that they are living together. This has come out too many times. If I'm wrong, I accept that but it keeps coming up). Honeymoon aka the Honeymoon phase is either still active or over and they're starting to see each other as who they really are. Chances of traveling to a wedding together? Probably not a wedding maybe it's another event or vacation. Someone is traveling soon. Open your heart.

[biirbi]

Dndads season 2 expectations :3

Frankly I do not really know how tumblr works; just posting this to keep track of it! I just finished season 1 of dungeons and daddies a bit ago and am starting the next one soon! Here are my current thoughts/expectations:

ummummmm honestly I have no clue what's going to happen in S2- I know the premise is the doodler has returned, but besides them trying to defeat it probably, no idea. I'm excited to hopefullyy see some of my favorite s1 characters again (I am pretty much exclusively talking about Erin and Scam)! If willy shows up again im going to leave. forever. he doesn't get to be an antag for two seasons.

AND ALSO IM GONNA BE. VERY UPSET IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THE STAMPLERS. I know scary isn't a stampler technically but I'll still refer to them all as that. but I care them so hard im gonna be so mad. all in all I just want the stamplers to be ok. and scam and erin. Also speaking of erin I hope vince dies she deserves someone with more dimensions (me)

The kids as dads!:

Honestly, I love all the kids- I cannot see them being that bad of parents (but apparently I'll find out soon!)

Adulthood clearly fucks them up SOMEHOW bc idk how they could be so awful but Sparrow (My favorite kid as of now :3) would probably just be. kinda like henry but I still think different? Like Henry is probably more protective than I imagine sparrow would be; aloof (p.s. I had a different idea of what aloof meant but I can't think of a different word so. oh well just use your imagination LMFAO) though he still is very loving! And does his best to sprinkle in life lessons even if they're not. that great. Like I'd think the worst he could fuck up his kid is not really teach him any particularly valuable life skills

Terry Jr! I love him, I'm very glad he and Ron are doing well as of now. I think he's a great kid that would make a great step-dad, especially considering the fact he knows what it's like to 1: lose his dad and 2: have an emotionally distant step-father. You'd THINK he wouldn't want a kid to also go through that but who knows I guess.

I love Grant too, and I know I've said this for all of them but honestly I have no clue what tf they do to him to possibly get him to be that bad of a dad. He was definitely traumatized by murdering that thing so I get him maybe like being emotionally distant. and like overbearing at the same time. but I wouldn't really call that being a poor parent,,,

Nicky uhhh. He confuses me I don't really know what he's like anymore since he was Glenn's kid. then Jodie's. now kinda both so honestly I've no real idea of what he's gonna be like but I still can't see him being that bad.

AND THAT REMINDS ME if hermie is presumably a grandkid of one of the preexisting s1 characters I can not figure out WHO tf might be the one that fucked him up that bad. I don't really know anything about him but it's soo obvious that he is Not gonna have a Good Time. I don't even know if he's a normal guy (normal hehe) or from the forgotten realms or>?????

Characters I'll probably get attached to

Honestly, as far as I can tell abt hermie (which I'm not really supposed to know about yet but whatever) he does seem like a character I will get attached to. And hopefully not empathize with cause that won't help. He just looks like he's designed to hold SO much trauma.

*slaps roof of hermie*

This baby can hold so much trauma in it.

I don't really have any clue abt him but. I can tell it probably won't go well for him! Also he kinda? ?? looks like an antag but also doesn't? Idk maybe an antag because of a forced hand, or more along the lines of an anti-hero? I've no idea.

Scary! She seems likeable in an. unlikeable edgy way. She's played by Beth so it can't be that hard to like her (Which I recently met someone who DOESN'T like beth!? He just hates to see a funny woman...), plus I'm a sucker for edgy emo characters. She's not actually related to ron but yknow terry's her step-dad and that's close enough.

Honestly I don't particularly take to very chipper and upbeat characters (which I'm just assuming Normal is, I could be wrong), so no clue if I'll like him. I at least probably won't dislike him as long as he's not annoying abt it.

And I have no clue what Taylor's gonna be like so really I can't say anything. He's kinda sorta related to Glenn? kinda????? and I didn't like Glenn very much at first, he did grow on me a little but idk- we'll see

I totally forgot to put lincoln in here. idk ANYTHING about him so uhh we'll see!

ermm I think I had something else to say but I forgot- I'm going to start dedicating the next 10 days while I'm by myself to probably binging all of s2. Uhhhh wish me luck!

[misssakuramochi]

hello! 🗣️ i'm wondering if i could get a matchup for baldur's gate?? slight preference for men but ladies are ok too!

personality traits (and notes): introverted (distant, disinterested, little interest in getting close to many people, does not get lonely), extremely independent (often refuses to rely on others, hates when people step in to help without me asking for help), confident (arrogant, a bit prideful), straightforward (blunt, sometimes tactless), even-tempered (somewhat apathetic, rarely has strong emotional reactions, but is baseline content almost always), good sense of humor, playful, teasing, mischievous, realist that leans optimistic, curious (nosey, loves gossip), a bit of a troublemaker/rulebreaker, does not shy away from conflict (a bit combative with authority and people who don’t know what they’re doing), not sentimental, does not hold onto regrets, good at self-reflection, cold and a little mean when upset with someone.

hobbies: drawing, painting (watercolor, acrylic), baking, cosplay, reading, taking care of plants, thrill-seeking activities.

likes: cats, sweets, good food, lattes, aromatic candles, cool weather, traveling, piercings, tattoos, puns (!), lazy days, learning foreign languages, cleaning, new experiences, people with a good sense of humor (quite subjective), when people banter back with me, people who let me tease them, people who develop their own opinions but are still willing to listen to other perspectives.

dislikes: bitter foods, strong scents, pessimism, hot weather, feeling restricted, possessiveness, conformity, having to be responsible for others, when people don’t stand up for themselves (i tend to look down on/clash with people who are overly insecure), overly anxious people, people-pleasers, when people act condescending towards me, people who try to force conversation with me.

types: intj-a ; 7w8 (yes i know type 7 is super uncommon for intj) ; love languages: physical touch, quality time.

misc.: clumsy ; accidentally misuses slang or phrases bc i can never remember how they go (e.g. “bust this popsicle stand” instead of “blow this popsicle stand”) ; able to pick up new skills relatively quickly ; studied french, korean, and latin in uni (also studied abroad in korea) ; majors in international cultures/languages + minors in psychology and medieval history ; prone to being a bit directionless in life ; prone to bad luck but tries to find the humor in most situations ; life approach: to live a life of varied experiences, to not take life too seriously, to not dwell too much on the past.

I match you with...

HALSIN

○ Halsin values honesty and while you can be a little too straightforward sometimes, he appreciates that you don't make him guess what you're thinking. He's not whatsoever easily offended so most of your remarks wash right off of his shoulders or even make him laugh. He doesn't mind that you come across as a little cold - he knows a good person when he meets one. That being said, he's not spineless and isn't afraid to tell you if you've gone too far.

○ You balance one another emotionally. Halsin is a very passionate man, and you are much less prone to strong emotional reactions. You help keep him regulated and he helps you find purpose and direction.

○ Physical touch is an important thing for both of you. Halsin isn't uncomfortably touchy, but a calm hand on the small of your back or lithe fingers in his hair give reassurance and comfort even in the most stressful of times. Most times he's got a hand on your shoulder or fingers wrapped in yours. You both feel safer, stronger, when you can feel the other there.

○ Halsin is mature. He's seen many things and he's accepting. You want, it seems, someone open-minded and listens even when they may believe something different. Halsin is your guy. He loves to have deep talks with you about worldview and your own open-mindedness gives him new perspective he loves to chew on.

HEADCANONS

○ Halsin loves to tease, so banter is common. He especially loves it when his adrenaline is high and his focus is on you. This means that the two of you find yourselves flirting on the battlefield quite often. It makes fighting almost fun, sort of a competition between the two of you.

○ Halsin adores your clumsy side. You're usually sp confident and powerful in his eyes that he can't help bit he endeared when you trip over yourself. He's not the type to run to your rescue because he knows you don't need a knight in shining armor, but when things are too much he's always got your back.

○ Once all is said and done I can see the two of you traveling the world together. You would learn about all the different cultures along the way, and Halsin would explore the natural world. Both of you are always earning and growing together

○ Halsin is a frequent subject of your painting. He insists on posing for each canvas you coat for him and takes increasingly ridiculous poses to make you laugh.

--

Hello!!! I hope you enjoy your match!! Thank you again for trading with me, I look forward to reading your half (though there's no rush!)

[disperceptionalism]

I am clearly not the level of Fandom that I once was bc I like the bear and I wanted to see some deep dives into character arcs but all I can find is ppl wanting to fuck carmy. i get it but this man is traumatized and not in the cute way. like is this a joke he couldn't commit to the one relationship handed to him on a platter and talked to and about her like she was his therapist. he very well mightve been a virgin before meeting Claire, and based on his backstory and the way he talks about committing to a relationship with her makes me think that he never even had a girlfriend before her. this man doesn't fuck. I'll give you that he looks like he has the potential to fuck, but Carmen Berzatto does not currently "fuck". others advertised this as the "hot linecook" TV show but what I watched was a traumatized introverted man who had set off out of school with the singular vision of becoming a chef, focused exclusively on success, and then his brother killed himself. like we start there.

please oh my god he is screaming for help and his trauma can't be fucked away. I have so many thoughts about Sydney and Carmen's relationship and how so deeply neither of them is ready for any sort of romance in that way.

starting with Sydney, she wouldn't even tell Carmen that her mom was dead until months into knowing him, when the Bear was nearlt open, even though he did try to gently prompt information from her. She avoids anything to do with a deep and serious emotion, her passion is singular and focused, much like Carmy was when he was at Noma and the French Laundry. When she said "that's a little too personal" when Carmy started opening up about his trauma, she brushed it off like a joke but it seemed like she made that joke to deflect from anything personal. she is avoidant and her respect of Carmy is purely artistic at that point. She just so happened to intersect with Carmen during one of the least focused moments of his life. She wanted to meet the Carmen who worked at Noma, even though he was absolutely going through it then, she doesn't get that version.

She also sticks her nose in places where it doesn't belong, has a sense of slight sense of superiority to overcompensate for a crippling performance anxiety, analytical, detached, impatient, yet also freely giving of praise when it's due. Make no mistake, the Bear is Sydneys, Carmen is only in this on the level of reanimating a corpse, Sydney is the soul breathing into it.

Now Carmen is sweet by nature but hard due to circumstance. Hard because of his upbringing, his drive. He desperately seeks approval from those he loves and can't stand to ask for help. the way he talks about Claire makes me feel like she's his first girlfriend ever. He was too busy on the grind to stop for a moment and let that sort of tenderness in. he's not used to it. which is why he sort of leans on her for emotional support instead of actually really getting to know her and connect with her on that level. She's a figurehead, an anywoman, someone who loves him and that's enough for her.

I think from the moment that Sydney mentioned the veal fat, Carmen had a deep respect for her. He really begins to see her as an equal because what the fuck it took Luca an entire year to figure it out, and Carmen hadn't figured it out at that point. she knew it off the top of her head. He hired her because of her business skills but he entrusted her because of his need to emotionally lean on people. when he left to go to that AL anon meeting, he was leaning in her in a more distant way that he will eventually do with Claire. And after he's shut down by Sydney as he starts opening up, he still leans on Sydney to shoulder a lot of his pain.

Carmen just shocks Nat by saying jarring shit about his trauma about how he almost burned down his apartment and how he used to throw up before work every day, and that's how he leans on her. By dumping that shit on Nats lap, in a casual cry for help. He needs help, he has needed help his entire life and Sydney comes in, proves herself to be his equal, and he respects her as an artist. He literally doesn't know how to interpret that feeling in himself if it did translate into romance.

the last thing these characters need to do is fuck. if they have a deep emotional conversation where Carmen is stable enough to allow Sydney the space to feel comfortable with sharing some of her deep personal feelings, like where he can actually shoulder some of that for her, then both characters will have healed enough to entertain the potential of considering Any kind of romantic relationship, let alone one with each other.

they are so career driven that they don't have the eye for anything else, they wouldn't know to consider something like that. so if they do end up together, they would be absolutely floored with the realization of their emotions, it would blindside them and potentially derail them if it's not reciprocated. and my bet is that Carmy falls first. Hard. for the wrong reasons. tries to get Sydney to shoulder not only the responsibility of the bear but also the responsibility of his emotions.

and I think that he'll make her co-owner, but only once their debt has cleared so she doesn't compound her already existing debt

I have so many more thoughts on this I'll get back to you

[muzzable]

My thoughts on the Miraculous Movie (in List Format, Written as I Thought Them)

With added comments as I'm making this post in purple, and a short review at the end.

Spoilers for the movie and show under the cut; though most of my comments may not be the most relevant, many are.

"Do you believe in magic" you mean miracles? Cause it's Miraculous?

"stronger than death" they're reviving Emilie aren't they (thankfully not; I guess they mean love is stronger than the grief of death)

Tom looks creepy

I actually think "believe in me" could have been tied to "Believe in Miracles" well

I like her having more general social anxiety compared to just around her crushes like in canon (and then it kinda disappeared)

This girl really does have a pretty singing voice so I'm conflicted but like. Who is this singing. Not the same as talking.

I like getting to see more of Gabriel running a fashion empire (has probably just not watched those episodes of the show) (I think this helped set the tone of Gabriel being controlling down to the last detail, and he didn't even act like he cared about fashion so it helps sell him as the villain or something)

Why is Luka here

I kinda like this chloe more so far tbh

Did they take Marinette's freckles? (pretty sure they did; they're really subtle in the show though)

Why does Emilie sound so impatient if she doesn't mind waiting forever lol

I like that tying into him as hawkmoth though, that she'd wait forever for him so he'd try forever for her

This is a completely different school lol

Saw a brown eyed student that looked more like Adrien than Adrien I think lol

Why'd she start calling her Marinella (seriously, why? she demonstrated she knew her name and they did bring back "baker girl" eventually)

Is she crying? I don't think they animated it (i still don't) Cristina voice acted it though

Adrien sells being socially inept by asking if Marinette's ok then walking away

Marinette holding a black cat book is sweet

I think she and Adrien look better in motion (seeing lots of screenshots I didn't really feel they looked like them, but it was mostly fine when animated)

Ok but he did not say "she's so weird" like he liked it and that's not an Adrien thing to do (and then he seems to love Marinette later for no real reason? Since they can't be together due to his love for ladybug and not "sorry I don't feel the same to you.")

Dang Nathalie get a better guy already he's rude

I thought that was Amelie in the picture cause Gabe had long hair lol

Also why is Adrien at school already? Chloe made a big deal about showing him around so I know he's new but. (in fact they didn't show Gabriel as controlling Adrien at all, just emotionally distant. kinda hurts the point of Ladybug making him feel free or whatever; i guess she makes him feel free from...being depressed that his mom is dead? even thuogh he tells Gabriel to move on at the end, it feels like Adrien's character in this movie is defined by his mom being dead almost as much as Gabriel's is, while in the show he genuinely does move past it.)

Emilie looks the most different (And then the painting is exactly the same lol)

Nooroo temple is kinda cool. Why does he sound like a 36 year old lady

Flying miraculous is .. interesting

"friends don't run from frienfs who hate them" "nice screaming exchange" ok yeah I think this Chloe is funny lol (in hindsight she was funny in the show too i just forgot)

"you are the one" you mean one of the two

Ok so Marinette is chosen for saving Fu's life and Adrien for…having a trash can for Plagg to hide behind? An open window? (Answer: we don't know. We don't really see much of how Adrien gets his miraculous.)

Why is that lady who rejected that guy's proposal the only one in Paris with a French accent (later on there were two other Parisians with accents! wow!)

Also the first akuma is just…some guy? (i just really like how in the show the first akuma was a classmate, and someone they know. we get to see ivan grow, and he rejects perfect alliance in the season 5 finale if i remember right. come to think of it they don't put a lot of emphasis on the fact that akumas stem from emotions here, which pretty much exists to explore characters and stuff.)

I like Plagg seeming to turn into a black cat and Tikki as a ladybug (unless Marinette and Adrien are just attracting those animals which is also cool) (this was also not really expanded upon, but I think the ladybug turned into Tikki)

Also the animation is just so pretty. I love the ladybug miraculous and Tikki here

I like keeping Marinette thinking she can't be ladybug

Ok Tikki is acting like there's no such thing as Chat Noir

Also I like them using the theme melody

Also she already had black earrings

Tikki's lines are definitely funny though

I mean gargoyle is practically flying stoneheart lol (this is related to me talking about Ivan earlier)

I feel ROBBED of seeing Adrien and Plagg meet for the first time Plagg is so important for Adrien as a character (especially with Chat saying in one of the songs that he feels free, and Plagg as his confidant is a really big part of Chat Noir being so liberating to Adrien)

Chat why are you being so mean

Chat expects Ladybug to be his sidekick so at least Plagh told him about the existence of Ladybug which is more than Tikki did lol

I'm finding Chat kinda annoying. I do not think that is good. (Ladybug go to the supermarket and pick up some taste in men)

I'm not sure what's supposed to be going on with the yoyo. It seems alive or at least responsive to Marinette's desires but the staff doesn't do that? (Later he calls it back to him kinda like how Hawkmoth called his cane back in Chat Blanc)

Ladybug sure did go to "no I'm here to save the world" fast after arriving on site and seeing another hero and no villain

Ok don't just say stronger together but like. Tell them why their powers rely on each other (I don't think they did. They were only really stronger together in the sense that two people are more than one)

See I don't like Ladybug actually disliking Chat at first but I would too and I don't think that's good

This guy sounds a bit more like Bryce Pappenbrook than that girl sounds like Cris

Yeah I'm not completely sure why he's in love with Ladybug? I guess cause he smiled when he made jokes at her? I mean I like the idea of her making him smile and that's why he likes her since his life otherwise is so frickin depressing but I don't recall her making him smile.

So he likes Ladybug because he's delusional?

Ok what the frick did they do to Plagg (maybe it's a good thing he wasn't in the movie that much actually) "you'll destroy everything" "duh I'm the kwami of destruction" was the only part of it I liked

Marinette what the heck lol. Just throw Tikki out a window. Unhinged Marinette (good)

Afraid Marinette (sad but also good)

Did Gabriel forget what happened when he akumatized that guy? Interesting if so (I think Nooroo's power just knocked him unconscious. It feels like a way to say using the butterfly miraculous isn't good for him but it's not brought up again.)

Why did Tikki and Plagg disappear if Hawkmoth can have Nooroo while transformed

I don't feel like this animation/choreography fits Gabriel but the song itself works

So is he just akumatizing people who are already supervillains or is this song completely metaphorical

No way. Ladybug the world's first female superhero. (I forget this is a show aimed at preteen girls sometimes lol. That being said it feels odd for a modern day setting to have Alya emphasize that she's a girl superhero because just having a female superhero isn't a new concept.)

I feel like they've got Alya down character wise

Is the mime still Mylene's dad. Why was he in prisonMatPat

Today's back to school fair? But they were just at school yesterday?

Are they trying to set Adrienette together? Because I don't recall Marinette telling Alya she liked Adrien

She seems to have gotten over her social anxiety fast

"leave the fair. I won't drive you myself. I'm sending a car." Gabriel moment

Alya and Nino are going to die

When did Marinette put the earrings back on

This song reminds me a bit of Wall Between Us (rip)

Marinette you don't have time for this musical number PEOPLE ARE GOING TO DIE

Yeah I think they recycled some of Wall for Courage in Me's melody (unless it was originally a reprise of Courage)

Wait didn't they say they needed to free the akumatized victims or whatever earlier. Is there no consequence for them failing to do so with Gargoyle (no, because all they do is just fight the villain until they're knocked out or in Gabriel's case reject the akuma. So I Guess they technically succeeded with Gargoyle.)

Ok Ladybug smiled even though she acted upset about Chat so I think she likes him lol

Dang Chat catching an invisible bullet

Poor Nino. Flying blind through the sky.

I'm confused about when his ferris wheel has windows and when it doesn't

I liked that Alya/Nino scene

Maybe Magician is Mylene's mom lol

Ok no they were just dressed like a mime and magician already (do people in Paris just wear their same outfits in prison? Were they already supervillains with theming or did they just arrest an actual mime and magician?)

What do you mean you think you know what to do Marinette. Nobody told you.

Ladybug and Chat Noir cars lol

Is her Lucky Charm move not gonna be in this movie (no.) Sorry Paris no miraculous cure for you (until the end, which i did like that it reminded me of the "holder sets the limits" thing from Mr Pigeon 72. If you're going to ignore your main character's main superpower until the very end of the movie, that's the way to do it)

How much time passed in that montage I wonder. They should make a show about it (this was mostly a joke, but I do think the movie suffered from a confusing sense of time.)

I like that we've seen a bit of Adrienette and Ladynoir already. Surprisingly I was worried they'd forget that a big part of the show is the interactions of different love square sides

You can't just have a shot of Chat alone in front of the moon like this you're giving me Chat Blanc trauma

Tikki why are you not encouraging her to be happy lol

Ok that was smooth Chat lol (when he pretended to be dead)

Chat just traumadumping Adrien stuff to Ladybug

We're not seeing Plagg again are we

Ok so Chat's verse makes clear that what he likes about her is that he can share anything with her, which I like. It's always been about the freedom from his civilian life and his dad (I liked Stronger Together as a song that explored what they both got out of their relationship, with Marinette sorta getting the ability to do anything. However, I went in knowing that it replaced Wall Between Us, which was about the emotions that make them love both sides of the other, confuse them, and keep them apart. This fact was a bigger part of the movie I feel like, since they both said they had someone else they loved, so I think it kinda suffered by losing a song that actually explains and explores those emotions.)

Ok good job singing with Chat, Mrs Marinette "hes not my boyfriend" Ladybug

What do you mean you can't date cause your heart is someone else's? You and Adrien are not dating.

Oh did you Plagg? Did you tell him not to love Ladybug? I don't recall that (he probably did and I forgot. I don't know.)

Oh dang Adrien. Good for you. (yelling at Dad I mean)

Ok so every love square side is already in love but they can't be with each other despite not having made any commitments to any other side. I shouldn't bash that I guess they're teens dealing with hard feelings

Gonna say I love the animation again

I wish the show had this budget

Alright then. Paris apocalypse. Honestly I'm here for it. I wanna see where Gabe akumatizing himself to die goes (ok I guess he didnt akumatize himself to die. He said he'd be joining Emilie by doing so but I guess not.)

I feel like the characters have a lot of emotions driving their actions and we're not getting time to explore them in this movie (actually my main issue with the movie)

Ok are they gonna address Chat Noir being mad at Ladybug for rejecting him the same way he did Marinette or. (They really didn't.)

Cataclysm the Eiffel Tower. This is in fact a Miraculous Ladybug movie

I'm guessing there's no senti lore

So the suits can just be cut up, huh?

They still haven't actually said that the two Miraculous grant a wish. There was no explanation for how getting them would get him his wife

Ok I'm glad the ultimate takeaway was still "Let Emilie be dead"

Ok so this is kinda like her Origins speech. Except that Chat is already in love with her. (And Gabe's been defeated or whatever)

Oh my word finally. Miraculous cure.

They kinda skipped out on Marinette's emotions and reaction to seeing Adrien was Chat huh. And also that Gabriel was Hawkmoth

Finally Adrien gets to go to the dance. (He could have gone in Representation if his dad was already in jail or whatever. Food for thought.)

Marinette did you seriously just wait months to be like "oh also I know your identity and I'm Ladybug"

Why did they stop being superheroes? No patrol?

How is her hair in that bun is it longer now

That's sweet. Except they cut off before the kiss.

Oh Emilie has the peacock on already. Maybe there is senti lore in this universe after all

Ok no credits song for me I guess it cut to puss in boots

Alright so to recap: I really did like the movie. The characters were fun, it got some laughs out of me, and I liked how emotional the ending actually was. I just think the story is too big for a movie. When watching it I was sure there were complex emotions in mind when writing the characters and their motivations, and that's great; it just didn't feel like they had enough time to explore those emotions. Frankly, I feel like Miraculous needs to be a show. It needs that time for the characters to grow close to each other, to grow as people, to process the revelations they have to deal with. Even with the movie focusing almost solely on Marinette, Adrien, and Gabriel, none of them felt like their character arcs were completely shown. We're told "Marinette's afraid to be Ladybug," "Adrien's never felt free since his mom's death except for when he's Chat Noir," "Gabriel finds his life empty without Emilie," but I don't feel we see those in-depth. Even Marinette and Adrien/Ladybug and Chat Noir getting closer together felt rushed because it was mostly a montage. It's stuff that fans of the show already know, so they don't exactly need to see in the movie, but I think it hurts the movie as its own independent story. I could see this version of the story working better as a one season show, or even a miniseries. Of course, there is a show, so it's not like I can't go back to that.

So overall, I'd say I like the show more than the movie, and I feel like the show is better as well, due to really having the chance to get to know the characters it's about.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hi, please call me yuna. this might be too long so i'm going to split this into 2 asks, i hope that's okay tw's: suicidal thoughts and attempt, general abuse, some detailed descriptions of physical abuse. i just want to vent out and i feel i'm in desperate need of advice. for some info i've been raised by a single dad since i was 14, turning 18 this sept. my dad was never really physically abusive, and he barely insulted my mom. but he had a really hard time regulating his emotions it seems and he couldn't express himself. he was very distant from both my mom and i. so she probably found someone better and left. with me, he was very emotionally unavailable and there was little affection between us, so i conclude my parents had an unhappy marriage. i don't know what caused him to be the volatile dad he is with me. we had eventual arguments and it started with a basic slap as 'discipline'. it escalated overtime. going to dragging me out of my room and beating me until i quite literally passed out. one of my worst memories consists of when he went a 'little too far' and had to take me to the hospital. he forced me to come up with a story where i was targeted by delinquents and how we were pressing charges which was absolute bs. nobody questioned this shit. not even my neighbours. not people who i considered friends. we're barely in contact w relatives. all of this happened during covid, so in complete isolation. all the worst memories took place during covid. i have very, very mixed emotions about him. i know he had a hard childhood, but in the end, he has never apologized for anything. but i think, all these years, he feels guilty, just doesn't know how to express it. like after hitting me, he'd cook for me, try to give me space, even when i fell sick (ironically, from his physical abuse) he took care of me, but he has not once directly apologized. so i can't help but feel it's all superficial. how else would he have the audacity to ask him how i'm feeling as i limped around the fucking house bruised and swollen bc of what HE did? thing is he has a perfect exterior. he earns well, has a great lifestyle and is respected by people. nobody will question him because how can a single dad that provides his kid so much comfort ever be abusive? will continue the rest in my next ask, please reply however comfortable.

His perfect exterior almost fooled me too. He'd try to make good of birthdays, compliment me on good grades, if i asked for something, he'd usually just provide it, but within a day or two i'd be back to being his punching bag. around 2020, i had a suicide attempt a day after he hurt me really badly. my memory around this is fuzzy. i vaguely recall looking at my bruised face and within a few seconds i stopped thinking rationally. i had been showing very visible signs of being in a highly unstable mental headspace, even vocally expressing suicidal thoughts, but it was always dismissed, obviously met with more abuse, and a simple "stop saying such things". he never took them seriously. i'm going to sound really crazy, but i'm glad i did try, or atleast attempt to kill myself, because i saw him express some genuine emotion for me for the first time in years during that. i wonder if i did that out of spite, or if i just had enough. in short, there were complications, he was never charged bc of red-tape procedures, CPS failed me due to 'lack' of evidence and i didn't admit anything nor did he (now that it think of it, i can't believe i never took pictures of the abuse.), and i ended up home again. i've been on meds since that. as for dad, he didn't change as much i thought he would. he didn't lay a hand on me for months, but he wasn't very emotionally supportive, even once asking me why i attempted. you'd think he'd change for his daughter's sake, but i don't think he ever will, fully. there was no all out abuse like there used to be after the attempt, but he still occasionally hit me. when i graduated HS, i told him i wanted to move out, which he did not oppose, this surprised me a lot bc i thought he'd try to hold me back. i'm not sure how to feel about this, and what it means. he texts me sometimes, trying to pretend to care. till date, there is no apology. no explanation for everything. i've been a straight A, well-behaved, and all of it was excused by 'you were troublesome and i simply disciplined you.' here's where i need the advice. even when i'm out now, i don't feel safe. even after my attempt, every time he spoke to me it felt like his fist was hitting my face again. every time he talks to me about remotely anything i feel as if he's driving his knee into my stomach again. i struggle a lot with some sensory issues. my face and head start to hurt, i'm all dizzy and there are sharp pains that run down my ribs and everything. i'm not sure what this is and wud like advice on it. but i suppose it could be depression/ptsd or wtv. i constantly think of cutting him off, but tbh, i'm very, very scared. i'm still scared of him. i'm scared that i stand to lose a chance at building a genuine relationship w him. i made very little friends throughout the years and pushed them all away. he's my only family & support system. i truly want to believe he's trying his best, but i just can't. it's like losing everything i know. even as i'm out of that house, i just can't get to sleep because of the constant nightmares and waking up randomly soaked in sweat. i think i feel very detached and numb from my emotions, i realize i can't express much, either. i fear i'm becoming like him, and i don't like it at all. to conclude, nobody around me currently knows of the abuse. anyone who does has excused it. i'm not suicidal now, but i don't know how long i can keep all of this bottled up, and who would even believe such a perfect man like my dad could do something so horrendous. i'm going to try my best to keep myself together. someone needed to know all of this, and i feel i can express it here. thank you for building such a safe place. i sincerely apologize for the long asks.

Hi yuna,

I'm so sorry about everything you've been through. Please know that none of this is your fault and it takes a lot of strength to come this far so you deserve to be proud of yourself. It can feel impossible to deal with an abusive parent, especially with experiences like yours, and it makes sense to have a complicated relationship with him because of that.

People who fail to acknowledge that your father is capable of abuse and has abused you obviously aren't seeing the full picture. It's not your fault if someone asks something so naive like how a single dad that provides his kid so much comfort could ever be abusive. The answer is complex because so is the situation.

i can honestly see why you were glad you attempted suicide, because it finally seemed to get the attention from your father that you haven't seen in years. But perhaps it's also worth reflecting on the fact that it seems to take a suicide attempt for your dad to show that he cares about you. You deserve so much better than that.

It's common as a survivor to worry that you'll become your abuser, but its important to remember that this worry is the exact reason why you won't. Experiencing normal trauma responses and PTSD symptoms such as feeling disconnected with your emotions doesn't necessarily mean you'll become abusive either.

Regarding the dizziness and pains, I'm not too sure what it could be and I ultimately recommend asking for the advice of a doctor and/or a mental health professional. It could be the way panic or anxiety physically manifests, and it could also be something more medically concerning, so getting a professional's opinion would be best.

Unfortunately it would be unlikely to be able to build a genuine relationship with him because even if it were entirely healthy, the reminders of his unaddressed abuse and the trauma that you live with as a result are inevitably going to remain at the back of your mind. As much as you deserve a healthy relationship with your father, you don't deserve to have any kind of relationship with an abusive father who has never taken accountability. Even if you continued to have some relationship with him, it would likely be superficial and surface level, which to some degree it already seems to be. It makes sense not to be comfortable being closer to someone who has hurt you so deeply and consistently, even if that person is your dad.

Please know that you're not alone, and we are here for you if you need anything. I hope I could help, and please take care.

-Bun