#It did very much inspire these Cas thoughts

[earth4angels]

𝐞𝐩𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥

modern jacaerys velaryon

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: when love is at its final meeting, are you willing to suffer through it or cowardly pretend it is not real to feel nothing?

𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬: angst. heart break, slice of life kinda? this is all in jacaerys pov. inspired by the song cry — cas.

𝐧𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐞’𝐬 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐬: this story does have little personal significance to me. i wrote it as a request, noonie wanted something very angst from jace and currently my friend is going through a breakup. so this came to be. when there isn’t love anymore, please don’t stay, don’t fight for something that is already dead. theres someone out there searching for the love you’re willing to give. ps: thank you em for reading this for me and approving the msg 💌

word count: 2k — drabble.

Time. That was all Jacaerys thought of, how every second slipped through his fingers, elusive and relentless like grains of sand in an hourglass.

He sighed once again, his pale fingers danced through the scattered thread that entangled from its perfect pattern of his sweater. He knew he should have given his voice a chance to say something. Yet he sat there with no words and his heart in a complete disarray.

He looked up slowly, the curls of his hair hiding the way his eyes betrayed his stoic expression. He was hiding pain, and regret. Regret of letting his heart play tricks on him, thinking this time it would be different.

She sat there quietly, looking straight into his eyes that became a transparent window into his soul. Jacaerys knew she had already sensed his conflicting emotions, she was just that good at reading him.

“I-,” he started before she released what seemed like a scoff. Whatever it was it had his heartstrings flickering, making a odd sound that only he heard. He paused, his heart shattering once again, this is one of the reasons why he could not bring himself to ever be this vulnerable again. He wanted to avoid ever feeling this way again.

“You’re breaking up with me? Is that what you will say Jacaerys?”

His voice is was caught in a twist, he had nothing to say yet his heart told him it was better this way. There was nothing in common anymore, she was far, distant and cold. Jacaerys no longer felt the need to reach for her as she was entertained with arms that loved her better than he did.

Jacaerys loved her, he truly did. He held his heart on his sleeve just how he was holding the thin thread from his sweater, his fingers pushing it into the pattern that no longer accepted it.

She was beautiful, smart and sweet. Jacaerys fell in love with her eyes, the way she spoke and how she moved, she spoke with her heart and never from a sense of need. He just could not come to terms with what changed.

“You know what dear? Life is simply hard to understand, but love is a complicated thing, some people get lucky and some don’t — and that’s okay! If one love doesn’t work, there will be another to heal you and maybe then, that will the one.”

He recalled the advice his mother gave him, and he believed it as she was now happily married with her second marriage. Her smile was brighter and her skin glowed, she was not the same as before where her eyes did not have the shine he loved to see.

Her eyes reminded him of the same way she looked at him now. As he locked eyes with the girl he once loved with his entire being, his heart no longer throbbed the way it did when he kissed her, or when he held her hand, his skin did not tingle anymore. She was just another girl.

For a second, he did want to cry. Inside a cave, he wanted to curl himself and cry loudly at how much he wished life was different. He had plans and damn he just wanted to love her forever.

She was his world, the center that held him grounded. As he kept looking at her he realized everything he ever felt was gone, he felt absolutely nothing. He was empty, he was sucked out of a possibility that was no longer possible. He was holding onto a fantasy for over a month with thoughts that maybe — just maybe it was all in his head. He would stay to go back to how they started and later laugh together again. He knew better however.

Cregan saw it before he did, Aegon freaking Targaryen, his uncle that had more experience than him and claimed love only existed in movies — saw it. He denied the truth, an excuse pooling on his lips whenever they asked why he was alone majority of the time. His mouth opened and the words became a empty void that only had his relatives and close friends shake their heads with full sympathies.

There was no cheating involved, that Jacaerys knew for sure. She was simply always entertained with her friends that she enjoyed spending more time with than him. The end to their story was simply a regrettable loss. There was no more love to give.

A couple that no longer had anything to provide, no connection and no reason to continue going on with the idea of two souls being together.

Jacaerys knew the hard slap of the truth when he kissed her. When she stayed over one night and he pulled her on top of him, he kissed her cherry flavored lips that he loved tasting and instead of feeling the need to shower her with love he felt… empty. His lips no longer tingled, no longer did he feel his feet curling or how his hands wanted to desperately hold every inch of her body to mark his love. That night as she slept soundlessly beside him, curled a few inches away from him he laid quietly with his heart painfully tugging at his chest — he had fallen out of love with her.

Perhaps, it was him that started to show less reasons to stay, or maybe it was her. Nobody knew who was the one that started breaking apart the chains that held their hearts together. All Jacaerys wanted to do was run and hide into the safety of his home, cry and shout at the Gods for punishing him, for taking away the closest thing he felt to magic.

As she looked at him with no emotions, he began to feel anger or maybe it was disappointment, he could not grab a hold of his emotions. A relationship of a year and a half down the drain, but he knew it taught him one thing — to never lose or change yourself for anyone.

He slowly nodded, his eyes closed slightly before he bit into the tip of his tongue to refuse throwing up.

She slightly moved her head in a quick nod, “I’m glad you are. You are amazing Jace, kind and the sweetest man to exist but you are not the one for me. I just don’t…” she took a deep breath, every word stabbing his heart more, he felt nothing for her anymore but it still hurt to finally say good bye, “You deserve more than what I gave you and I know you feel the same.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He said, his eyes blazing with mixed feelings, he just wanted the way his heart painfully tugged to stop, “When you just stopped loving me, why couldn’t you just lea—“

“Leave? Jacaerys. This is as hard as it is already. I saw how you loved me, you still loved me when I was already five feet out the door ready to run from you.”

Ah. His breath took a sharp inhale. His fingernails was now pressing deep into the palm of his hands. The answer came to him like a bucket of cold water in an instant. She was the one that began the tearing.

“I couldn’t…” she shook her head in regret, “I couldn’t bare to look into your eyes that held so much spark and love for me. You deserved so much at that time and I am so sorry Jace.”

He licked his lips, once and twice. The world felt fuzzy, empty and weird. If he shouted, it could have bounced back like an echo. If he cried, his tears would have trailed out of his sockets like air. He had nothing to give anymore.

“I see,” he said finally after minutes of silence from his part. The center of his world, once upon a time only sat in front of him as tears pooled down her face. If one met him a month ago, they would have cooed how quick he was to wipe those tears. Yet, he only stared quiet and empty.

His fingers relaxed, his skin now tethered. He took a deep breath before opening his mouth. The freckles on his cheeks was more prominent as his face began to grow red. She stopped for a second to admire his beauty. She was seconds away from losing him completely and she began to think that maybe time will tell.

His hands slowly pulled back his curls as he leaned down, his movements looked ragged, it felt almost like his body was only held by gravity, yet he pushed forward. He carefully, with more to say yet no energy to speak, gently pushed a box towards her. The final statement of a good bye, his wishes, his ideas and his heart all in a box.

“I packed everything you left at my apartment, if I missed anything, let the lobby’s receptionist know.”

His voice had no emotion, it came from a place of emptiness. He had no more energy, only simply wanting to forget this current event never happened.

“Jac—“ she reached out towards him with eyes wide, her voice sounding shaken.

He stopped her. This was it — the moment he dreaded yet longed for. He was finally going to be given a chance to start new, to let his mind and heart heal at its pace.

His hands burned at the touch of hers. Slowly he pushed her hands away, “You know what? I wish that this was different, that you cheated on me so I can easily forget you quicker and that this would hurt less. But the fact that we are simply on other pages is harder to grasp. I really loved you. You were the most beautiful angel in the universe and God I wanted to do so much with you…” He shook his head as a scoff fell from his lips, “but now, I blame myself for letting you get away from me, I begin to think if it was me that pushed you, or if I missed anything that you needed or craved for. I truly, began to blame myself. I denied the truth for so long, I kissed you and touched you like you were everything. How many times did I loved you and you only accepted it? When I whispered how much I loved you as I held you deep at nights, did you just laid there accepting it? I think of these things and it’s like a knife going through my heart over and over again. I wish that on nobody, not even you. I wish things were different — that maybe you could’ve been honest so we can avoid this pain.”

He blinked to turn away the burn that his eyes began to feel, he was tired. Sighing in complete disbelief and defeat he continued, watching as she bit into her lips to avoid cries, he did not understand why she was, “If we see each other in the future, I hope we look at each other with a smile. We did share beautiful moments together, and we learned so much about ourselves. But as for now, I do hope to never see you again.”

She released a choked sob that sounded like gasp, “Jacaerys plea—“

He stood up from the bench, grabbing his umbrella he stepped out the gazebo welcoming the slight breeze and the quiet rain that fell on his face. He slowly turned to face her one last time, “Thank you for loving me in a short amount of time, take care of yourself.”

His umbrella covered the rain that fell on him, as he walked further away he focused on the sound of the wind that blew against his cheeks and not at the sobs that came from the girl he believed to have a future with.

Perhaps, in another time, someday, he would not cry for love again.

fav friends aka the slut cult: @benjinotes @hxtd @bucksplum @ellewod @eldrith @swordgrace @vee-mage @divinesolas @housetargaryenloyalist @astrxq @manhandlememando @bryscorner @princessbellecerise @xxselenite @v3lary0ns

natties angel list (open!): @aemondvelaryon @fleurbies @yohanseyebrowmole

jace nation tag list (open): @smurfelle @vividxpages @number-0-iz @writtenapoiogy @thenotesapppoet @agqrtz @girlthatislost

[pinknatural]

cybersecurity

Cas has his hand aglow with grace, preparing to smite his phone, when suddenly a hand wraps around his wrist. The light fades and he looks up at Dean, who is reached across the kitchen table looking vaguely panicked. 

“Woah, buddy, hold your horses,” he says. “What’d your phone do this time?”

”It broke,” Cas says in disgust, showing Dean the screen. It is dark and frozen, with words across it proclaiming that it is “locked” for five minutes, due to “too many failed password attempts”. Infernal thing. Cas is pretty sure cellular phones are the work of demons, which would explain why it is difficult to use and also extremely addicting. Candy Crush, in particular, is certainly demonic work. Emojis were probably invented by a human, which would explain why they’re so delightful.

“Well,” Dean says. “Looks to me like you forgot your password, except that I know you don’t have a password. Did you set one on accident?”

“How would I have done that?” Cas demands. To be quite honest, he thought his phone simply didn’t come with a password. 

“Under ‘settings’ or ‘general’, or something,” Dean says. Cas shakes his head. The only apps he goes on are the texting one, and Candy Crush. And Pinterest. He spends far too much time on Pinterest. 

“Well, then, it’s a stumper,” Dean says. He takes another bite of his scrambled eggs. Cas glares at his phone. 

Sam comes into the kitchen, whistling cheerfully. He goes to the fridge and starts to pull out his kale and almond milk and whatever else he puts in his post-run kale smoothies. He’s dressed in flannel and jeans, and his hair is wet, so Cas supposes he must have showered already. 

“Sammy, do you know why Cas’ phone would lock him out? He doesn’t even have a password.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sam says, turning around to face the table and snapping his fingers. “I gave you one.”

“What?” Cas says. 

“It’s not very secure to not have one,” Sam says. “What if someone steals your phone? Or you leave it somewhere?”

Cas has forgotten his phone on a case approximately eleven times. Apparently Dean has never told this to Sam. Suddenly, leaving his phone behind so much seems less embarrassing and more of a wonderful secret that he and Dean share. He looks at Dean, but his face is steady and he’s still facing Sam. 

“And you just didn’t tell him you locked him out of his own phone?”

“I literally set it an hour ago,” Sam says, rolling his eyes. “I didn’t think he’d notice!”

It’s possible Sam doesn’t know about Dean and Cas’ routine of sitting together and eating breakfast, Dean scrolling his phone for cases and Cas scrolling through wedding inspiration on Pinterest, but that seems impossible, for this time is as holy as church. He squints at Sam. 

“So what is the password?” he asks. 

“I just made it 123456,” Sam says, raising his hands defensively. “But you should change it to something else.” 

Dean rounds on Cas, eyebrow raised. “And you didn’t guess that?”

“How would I know to guess that?” He had mainly guessed things like 888888 or 333333. 

“Ugh,” Dean says, dropping his fork onto his eggs. “Ok, Steve Jobs, put in your new password and I’ll help you get set up.”

Cas enters the password. Sam rattles around in the pantry. Dean leans across the table. Cas tilts his phone toward him. 

“Go to Settings,” Dean instructs, pointing at the gray gears in the top corner of Cas’ phone screen. Cas taps it and follows Dean’s directions into the “passcode” section. He has to enter Sam’s absurd password one more time to change it.

“What should I change it to?” he asks. 

“I dunno,” Dean says. “A lot of people use a date or something.”

“Is yours?” Cas knows Dean’s password, of course, but he thought it was a random string of numbers that had come with his phone. Why he thought his phone didn’t come with one while Dean’s did he doesn’t know, but it was easier without a password and so it never bothered him. 

“Yeah,” Dean says. Cas tilts his head. 

“Why October 22, ‘69?” he asks. Dean grins. Sam groans. To be honest, Cas had forgotten Sam was even in the room.

“Led Zeppelin II’s release date,” Dean says. “The day ‘Ramble On’ came into the world. Best day ever.”

Cas develops a new appreciation for October 22, if not just because Dean likes it. 

“Plus I wanted to put 69 in my password,” Dean says, winking outrageously. Sam pretends to vomit. “Sammy over there likes to rotate his password out,” Dean says. He rolls his eyes. “Always between sappy shit like my birthday and Dad’s birthday and Mom’s birthday.”

“Whatever,” Sam says. “Normal people use birthdays or anniversaries, Dean. You’re the freak here.”

“Sounds like something a little bitch would say,” Dean says, winking at Cas. Cas looks down at his phone, hiding a little smile. 

“Jerk,” Sam says, and then he turns on the blender. 

Cas should use a birthday, he supposes. But he does not have one of his own to use. He wants to make it Dean’s birthday. He glances up at Dean, who is jokingly exchanging nasty expressions with Sam. He imagines one of those expressions turned onto him, and looks back at his phone. Perhaps 012479 would be too revealing. He looks at Dean again, and then types in a number. 

Sam turns off the blender and Dean turns back to Cas. 

“So?” he says. “Think of something?”

”Yes,” Cas says. “091808.” He likes those numbers in his mouth. 

“What’s that?” Sam says. 

“Just a random number,” Cas says. For some reason, he doesn’t want Sam to know.

”I guess you met us in ‘08,” Sam muses. 

“I suppose,” Cas says. He looks at Dean. His beautiful face is kind of frozen, cheeks dusted with red. Their eyes meet. Dean’s flush deepens. Cas stares at him. 

Somewhere behind them, Sam bottles his smoothie and leaves the kitchen, muttering about research. Cas doesn’t look away from Dean. 

“Good numbers,” Dean croaks out eventually. “Cool…password. Uncrackable.” He stands, gabbing his plate and dropping it in the sink before running out of the room. Cas looks back down at his phone, smiling at the screen, and absurdly pleased that Dean recognized the numbers at all.  

[k-nayee]

Death Wish Love Epic: The Musical

wc: 1k a/n: Song Inspiration: Death Wish Love by Benson Boone; recommend you listen while reading!! This is a Penelope!Reader btw!

Traveler M.List

ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˏ⸉ˋ‿̩͙‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙.·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙　✩　*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ .‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ‿̩̥̩‿̩̩̥͙̽‿̩͙ˊ⸊ˎ

Odysseus had never known a battle more grueling than the one he faced now—fighting the distance between him and his Penelope.

The Gods had thrown everything they could at him: monsters, wars, storms. But none of it compared to the war he waged within himself.

It wasn’t just the bloodshed or the pain that kept him going, it was you—your face, your laughter, the way you looked at him as if he were the only man in the world.

He’d seen so much death, so much destruction. And yet every time he closed his eyes the thought of you was stronger.

In every battle he could hear your voice, soft but commanding, urging him to come back to you.

That was what he held onto. That was why he survived.

But sometimes the love he felt for you scared him. It wasn't just love anymore.

It had become something dangerous, something that had the power to tear him apart.

If he lost you—if the Gods took you away before he could return, Odysseus knew it would destroy him.

He felt fragile in that love, like it held the power to break him in ways no sword or spear ever could.

Even now as his ship rocked on the waves heading toward Ithaca, all he could think about was you.

The memory of your face; the way your eyes shimmered with a warmth he couldn’t find anywhere else.

You had always been his anchor. Even when the world around him was falling apart you were the steady ground beneath his feet.

He clenched his fists watching the horizon as the faint outline of Ithaca came into view.

His men were talking and murmuring about home, but Odysseus was quiet as he stared out at the sea.

His heart raced. What if you had moved on? What if after all these years you no longer waited for him?

The very thought of it made his chest tighten. He had faced monsters that would drive any man mad, yet it was the thought of losing you that truly terrified him.

Odysseus cursed the Gods for how long they kept him from you. Every day spent away from you had felt like death.

He could face a thousand wars—a thousand enemies. But the pain of not having you by his side was unbearable.

He longed to hold you again, to feel your warmth, to hear your voice. It was a love that consumed him entirely, a love that bordered on madness.

As the ship drew closer to the shore his heart pounded louder than the crashing waves.

The moment the ship docked Odysseus was off. He barely heard the cheers of his men as they celebrated their return, his mind was already racing toward the palace.

His steps were quick, fueled by the fire in his chest that had been burning for years.

He reached the palace gates, and though his breath was heavy from the run his heart lightened the moment he stepped inside.

He could already sense you—your presence, the very essence of who you were lingering in the air.

And then he saw you.

You were standing on the terrace. Your back was turned to him, the soft light of the setting sun casting a golden glow on your figure.

For a moment Odysseus couldn’t breathe. It was like seeing you for the first time all over again.

Every inch of him ached for you. But he stood frozen, too overwhelmed by the sight of you after all these years.

It wasn’t until you turned around and your eyes meet his did he moved.

“Penelope...” he whispered hoarsely, voice barely audible. It was like a plea for you to recognize him after all this time.

Your eyes widened in disbelief, and for a moment he feared you didn't.

But then you broke into a run, throwing yourself into his arms. Odysseus caught you, holding you as tightly as he dared.

His fingers tangled in your hair, his breath catching as he buried his face in your shoulder.

“Odysseus,” you breathed, your voice trembling. “You’re here. Y-you...you came back to me.”

He pulled back just enough to see your face, his heart swelling as he saw the tears streaming down your cheeks.

He wiped them away with his thumb, his touch gentle as if he were afraid you might disappear if he pressed too hard.

“I’m here,” his voice was thick with emotion. “I’m finally home.”

Home.

It was a word that held so much meaning now. It wasn’t the palace, or the island, or the throne.

It was you. You had always been his home.

Odysseus pressed his forehead to yours, his eyes closing as he savored the moment.

He had waited for this for so long, and now that he was here he didn’t want to let go.

You were everything to him, the reason he had fought, the reason he had survived.

“I love you,” your voice shook as you clung to him, your fingers digging into his back as if you were afraid he might disappear.

Odysseus smiled, though it was laced with pain. He knew the dangers he had faced were nothing compared to the dangers that lay in loving you.

But he didn’t care. He would die for you. He would face the Gods themselves if it meant staying by your side.

“I love you too,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your temple. “And I’ll love you until there’s nothing left of me.”

You pulled him closer, your breath hot against his neck as you whispered, “Don’t ever leave me again.”

“I won’t,” he promised, his voice breaking as he held you tighter. “Never again.”

And as the sun set on Ithaca, Odysseus knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, he would face them all for you.

Because this love—this dangerous, all-consuming love—was worth every sacrifice.

Even if it was a death wish, even if it meant losing everything, he would love you to the very end.

[sherlockig]

Hello my little grieving friends (aka my CREW!)

I just want to talk about how much our flag means death has given me. I have not had internet friends since i were a teenager. They all kind of disapeared over time in the same way as high school classmates went away. I have been on this blog on tumblr since 2010 and i have never experienced what ofmd has given me. Not even in my very derranged ca 5 year long sherlock-era did i get to befriend and know this many amazing people who live in my phone. Some of you have come and gone and that is life, but some of you are still here and I hope I get to keep you here for a very long time. Max can not stop us and I want to be here with you until tumblr is put down like the beloved rabid pet it is.

I think we are all taking the news very hard and I think it's important to remember what it is all about really. It's about love and family and above all else the crew so i just want to show some love for my beloved mutuals. And i hope maybe some of you will be inspired to do the same because its what we need in these dark times. We need to be a lighthouse guiding each other to shore.

First of all @gentlebeard - Ella💕 my beloved honey 🍯 I can not explain properly or even believe how lucky I am that I found you and that I get a little good morning from you every day. We have been talking every single day since the first message over a year ago and I don't remember or want to remember how i survived before that. I will treasure the time i spent drinking pina coladas on your balcony in the sun forever and i hope i will get some more time on that balcony this summer. I have found a pirate bar in Sweden so we can continue our expensive pirate drinks theme that we started in Berlin. There is no one else i want to spend 6-8 hours talking to over the phone.💕My partner in crime, lasagna partner and floor person or whatever nicknames we have come up with during this time. You are not just the perfect friend to have, you are also funny, sweet, smart and a expert at making fanvideos that make me cry my heart out and laugh my lungs up - sometimes at the same time 💕💕

@blakbonnet - Meow my darling💕 you were the first one i really started to talk to in the fandom and i am so glad i did. You brighten my days and i love talking to you you brilliant humanbeing (i often find myself thinking i have listened to much to cabin pressure because i struggle to use any other word than brilliant to explain things.. the Arthur runs deep in me) also thank you for being my personal skincare guide in life!! Your fics, your art, your edits, your gifs, your meta the whole you make my dash a better place and we are all happy to have you! There is nothing you are not good at and i am both a bit jealus and impressed by you. Its Meows fandom we all just live in it 💕💕

@youshouldseemeinadeerstalker - Nes my dear💕 We may not be talking very often but I know I always have you there. I loved our vacation together and we had so much to talk about that we didn't even realize that the same song kept playing in my car so long that it messed up my spotify wrapped. It was amazing taking naps with you outside ruins of castles and in botanical gardens and living together in the worlds smallest hotel room. I hope we can get lost together in more cities than Hamburg and Copenhagen. (preferably without rain and sickness and maybe with a map) 💕💕

@darkinerry - Marlena 💕 its a pleasure getting weather and work updates from you and i am always interested in knowing what you have been up to and what you have to say. It brightens my day, please never stop!! Your videos and gifsets can make any day better and you are always kind and funny which are two things i appreciate hugely in my friends!! 💕💕 + You have the coolest haircut out of all my mutuals 😌

@aha-my-villainous-thoughts - Ash my wife💕 my love💕Nothing can make me scream, blush and giggle as much as your fanart. You have this style of everything you make from fanart to dolls to interior design that is so special and breathtaking. One day we will drink so many lattes in a cosy cafe and then sniff lush products for the rest of the day. 💕 You are always there for me - as a online shoulder to cry on or to motivate me with the smuttiest wips ever. I am happy to be mutual married to you 💕💕

@bizarrelittlemew - Ida 💕- my thirsting for rhys brother in arms. I can not imagine tumblr without your gifs or your posts. I love screaming with you over a picture of rhys darbys bicep. I am so happy i got to meet you this summer and i really hope it will happen again. We are not that far from each other, just some miles and a stupid bridge; we can make it. You are always a sweetheart and an incredible friend who write the hottest fanfiction ever💕💕

@dickfuckk - josh 💕 (who I also thought for a long time was called tyler) I dont know where the fandom would be without your bts blog! its a international treasure and a service to humanity. i don't know how you do it. 💕You always have everything i have ever been looking for and as a bonus you are witty and funny like no one else. I am so happy i got to meet you and spend a whole day in your company! 💕

@izzy-b-hands - Holden my absolute darling!💕 I am so glad I got the chance to get to know you! You are smart, funny and kind and my izzy mutual tm. You are always there for me with kind words and I am still forever shipping izzy and the third badminton brother which I think is the best headcanon I have ever helped coming up with. 💕

@funforahermit - Kristina 💕 Your love for Rhys and your gifs are a staple on tumblr and my dash. I know where to go when i need someone to understand how hot Steve is (even if we have agreed that he is yours and Murray is mine which i still think is a fine deal). I very often make or see a picture of Rhys and my first thought is "I NEED TO SHOW KRISTINA THIS" so you live rentfree in my brain 💕

@rainbowcrowley - Addi 💕If i ever start playing wow again you bet i am gonna be talking your ear off about my little frost mages progress but in the meantime i am happy to have you on my dash and even if we don't talk that much are you a beloved part of my dash and brighten it daily.💕💕

@fandomsmeantheworldtome - Maria💕 You were one of the very first people i found in this fandom and your gifs might have helped my rhys obession taking form. You might be into many things I have never heard of but its a pleasure seeing your excitement over everything. You are always a ray of sunshine and i love that so much💕💕

@tabbystardust - Tabby dear💕 You are the kindest person I know who I always get the strongest need to hug and hold close. Your fanart is beyond this world and i adore it like nothing else. Its always both hot and soft in the best way ever💕 I am always excited to get kitty updates and to hear about your ramen receipts. I hope we can still meet at the con next year! I am game if you are!! 💕💕

@hummingbee-o0o - Humming 💕 (i dont know your name sorry) I am always excited to hear your thoughts and metas about everything ofmd related as well as your beautiful art. 💕 it was a pleasure to scream about season 2 after every watched episode!💕

@xoxoemynn - Emy 💕💕 i am so happy to be mutual with you! 💕You always bring joy to the people who get to be around you and fill my dash with the same. We might not talk often but i know you got my back! That is the kind of person you are!💕

@saltpepperbeard - Jodi💕 No one write tags on tumblr dot com like you. There is nothing that can cheer me up more than see that one of my posts has gotten a whole ass novel written in the tags and then i instinctively know that its you who have left your wonderful mark. You are always excited and such a lovely human to be mutual with. 💕 And on top of that you make incredible gifs that make my heart stop!!! 💕💕

@autumnbois - Kai 💕💕 I hope you are doing okay. We might not talk much right now but you were there for me when i needed it most and you are a good friend to have living in my phone.💕💕 I will think of you whenever i see something related to scream and your love for piccrew always make me smile💕

@edsbacktattoo - Jams, jams jams! 💕 We are never online at the same time because of the damn time differences *shakes fist* but you are a staple in this fandom. Your art is incredible and you are the sweetest cookie in the jar. You are funny and always spread good energy to everyone around you and I love that with my whole heart💕💕

@kiwistede - Sam 💕 Your love for stede and rhys is unmet and i love you for that. You are always a good source for some rhys darby insanity and we all know that is what i treausure most here in life! 💕💕

@stedesearring - Kaitlin💕 You are the sweetest and kindest soul out here always spreading joy and love like the sun of my dash. 💕 I always love seeing you and i am happy to have the pleasure to have you as a friend in my phone! 💕💕

@stedebonnets - Ara 💕 Where would we be without your gifs?? without your joy?? without your blog?? without you?? No one knows! I am so happy to call you a mutual and friend and you always bring a smile to my face. Always!!💕💕

@appleteeth - Liz 💕 No one is quite as normal about rhys darby as you and it a pleasure to watch! Speaking of pleasure.. your fic the slightest touch is an all time favorite of mine and i would be embarrassed to tell you how many times i have read it... you are one of my mutuals that i am baffled that they want to follow me. Its a privilege! 💕

@as-a-creww - Caroline dear 💕 You are a beloved mutual and your blog are a permanent part of my dash and i want to keep it like that! you are the friendliest of the friendliest and what is more important than that?? 💕💕

@nandorisms - Ed dear💕 Your shameless reblogs makes the world go around. You are always sweet and a much needed wwdits addition to my life. I count you as a dear friend living in my heart!💕

@londonlock - Londie! 💕💕 The only sherlock mutual i have left and i am very happy to have kept you! 💕 I might have left those days behind me but you know as well as i that sherlock lives in my soul and seeing some sherlock and john love on a daily basis keep me grounded and on top of that are you such a romantic and beautiful human being! 💕💕

@follovver - Tanya 💕 My fellow Swedish ofmd fan! I am very happy to have found you! its nice to be able do discuss it in my mother tongue and i hope we one day can do it live! its to bad we never met when we went to the same uni (or maybe we did but didn't know) Du är fantastisk!! 💕

@wastingyourgum - Al💕(which i always read in my head as artificial intelligence and giggle because it make me feel like you are a robot) My fellow rhys friend. You bring me doses of darby when its most needed and your blog is always on fleek 💕💕

@xray-vex - Xray 💕 100 % one of my funniest mutuals!💕💕 You make hilarious posts that no one else could even dream of coming up with! Always top tier blog content and what more can a girl ask for??💕

@jellybeanium124 - Nina💕 I can not imagine my blog without you! Your posts are always a delight and you are so nice and sweet and funny and incredible (even when you make math mistakes kisses kisses) You bring a honest joy into the fandom that we could not live without! 💕💕

@thunderwingdoomslayer - Nellie 💕 My official rhys darby gif provider who I come to as if i needed a new hit of an illegal substance. I salute you and thank you for your service!💕💕

@forestofsprites - Green my dear 💕You might have gone from ofmd to be the supernatural provider of my dash but that does not stop you from being the kindest forest spirit i know. Your presence is calming in a way i can not explain and i am glad to have you and your love for meg here.💕💕

@cheersmequeers - Kate💕💕 A big puzzle piece to bring my dash together. Always filling it with my favorite gay pirates and i love having you here. Always friendly and full of love.💕💕

@sugashook - Sugaaa💕💕 You know i am in love with your art! Your art is always on top and it bring me back to life every time. I keep the dress i bought from you on the outside of my closet so every morning its the first thing i see and it sets the day right!💕💕 I wear your art on my tshirt to the gym as often as i can hoping to lure in a ofmd fan between the weights but that has not happened yet sadly!! Never stop making your art!! The world would be at loss if that happened 💕💕

@lacefuneral - Jay 💕(should be called YAY because that is what i say when i see a new selfie or fashion post from you) You are a fantastic friend and i love your love for stede and you are always kind and patient in a way that makes me comfortable to ask you questions about something i might not be familiar with. You are forever my moth mutual in my mind 💕💕

@meanmisscharles - Charles 💕 In my head i call you charles but i don't think that is your name but i hope its okay with you! Always friendly and sweet but ready to fight the bullshit the other spread! and such a source for good music recommendations!! 💕💕

@forpiratereasons - Darcy 💕literary no one does it like Darcy! Aways bringing the best ofmd posts to my dash and ensuring i don't miss anything! You are incredible! 💕💕

@blackbeardskneebrace - Miles my dear 💕 You make incredible art both the cute and amazing ofmd art but also the gorgeous historical art you post. Its a pleasure to see you talk about history but also about our beloved gay pirates. Your snoopy ofmd art will live in my heart forever and i think it might be healing me a bit. Maybe even watering my crops and clearing my skin! And those valentine ofmd arts from last year. I am 100 % gonna bring them back this February like beloved decorations you store in the attic. 💕💕💕

@awkward-fallen-angel - Heather 💕 You are one of the sweetest people i have had the pleasure to come across. You bring a big excitement and attention to the things you like and it moves along to everyone near. I mean i have watched long critical role videos just because you spoke so warmly about them and i wanted to know what it meant. I love having you here. 💕💕

@mxmollusca - Mx 💕 (dont know your name so i am just calling you that) I mean you are an incredible writer. I have only managed to read ifwts once because i cried so much that i am scared to open it again because i might just never stop crying. You are creative and funny and absolutely totally normal about rhys darby which in my book is a very good thing to be. And besides that you are a very friendly and nice mutual who is always a pleasure to interact with. 💕💕

@poisonintopositivity - Lilias💕 We have not talked much but we have been mutuals for a very long time and i hope you know that i appreciate you greatly as a mutual and you always but the best posts on my dash!💕💕

@glam-hutchence - Birb 💕💕my dear bird lover! You are a sweet potatoe and i love reading about your love for music and the concerts you go to.💕 Its so nice to take a little part of your life. You are always there for me and i always get happy when i talk to you. You are like a little happy pill! 💕💕

@turtles-on-turts - Turts 💕 Whenever i see a turtle i think about you. Its your brand! You make amazing art! and the ones on canvas always blow me away. 💕💕 Its incredible. You are also so very pretty and i have that picture of you in your depression robe with all the pigeons imprinted in my mind because it such a cute one. You are always very friendly and i love reading your personal posts as well. 💕💕

@vonlipwig - Franky 💕 You bring me lots of normality about rhys darby but these days also a huge bunch of normality about david tennant which i appreciate a lot. You are very nice and i stand by my assesment that you have a very cool aura!💕💕

@haeva - Mar my beloved💕 You bring me my wifes emily and valkyrie and a bunch of amazing posts about everything i can imagine. You are loving and sweet and good at maths which i am always very impressed by. I love being your mutual and doing ask games with you is a pleasure!💕💕

@mykonossalome - Myko💕 When i see moomin i think of you because i know how much you love it. We dont talk as much as i would like but the interactions we have had has meant a lot to me and i love seeing you posting about the things you love! 💕💕

@cottoncandiescupcakes - Cupcake 💕 I love that you are always so excited over our boy the swede and its a pleasure to compare language with you. We can continue fighting if the swede belong to the dutch or the swedes but that is a pleasure!💕💕

@mister-brightside - Andrea my dear💕. Your art is always perfect and whenever i see a picture of izzy giving the middle finger i think about you! Its your brand and its your picture now and no one can change that. You are sweet and caring and a lovely mutual to have. thank you!💕💕

@merryfinches - Kylie 💕 What can i say more than that i ADORE your fanart. The colours the style the softness of it all is exactly what we all need in these times. Every single time it shows up on my dash it makes my heart grows softer and my love grow stronger! I love it so so much. 💕

@ofmd-ann - Ann 💕 You glorious glorious gifmaker! Your gifs are always beautiful and these last days you have saved me with your wrecked edits. As a supplier of rhys darby gifs i love you forever. You are a hero love. 💕💕

@usersukuna - Bia 💕You are a gif magician. Your gifs are perfect and you are also very kind and sweet and i am so glad i can call you a mutual! You light up tumblr like no one else and i am always happy to see you on my dash.💕💕

If you are not in this list it does not mean that i dont love you or have forgotten about you it means that tumblr has put a limit to how many people you can tag which sucks. But if i follow you then it means i love and appreciate you. 💕💕💕 And you know what? We will make it through this hard and trying times of greedy streaming services putting an end to our gay pirates show. I love you all and you know what??

We will make it through as A CREW!

[furicookiebndz]

Lucifer x !FemReader : My old friend

Hello everyone, it is my first time writing this, i hope it will be good enough, have fun! This fan art isn't mine. Full credits to the amazingly talented artist/creator.

It has been thousands of years since evil began.

Lucifer, whose pride blinded him, attempted to dethrone the creator, only to ultimately fail and be banished from Paradise.

Lilith, who refused to submit to Adam, in turn fled from this magical place, but which hides many facades.

Yet few people know that with them, a third person flew out of Paradise. And even rarer are people who know the cause, 3 to be precise.

However, behind this unusual act lie very dark secrets, seen as…

-Can you stop, Vag'? You're giving me a headache.

The young woman turned her head towards the source of this execrable voice, a spider who was visibly lying carefree on the sofa, arms behind her head, a bored expression on her face.

Refraining from answering him, she continued:

Tragic, some thought it was another rebellious woman, others a fallen angel because of a serious crime, but that wasn't logical, what's worse than to confront the creator?"

-That doesn't help all of us, the young woman noted, running her hand through her hair, frustrated.

-It would be beneficial to have her on our side, especially if she has such a significant influence on the world of the living and beyond, Charlie concluded thoughtfully.

-But she hid from the world, living as a hermit. Many think it's a myth, but given what's been happening lately, I believe it's much more present than sinners think.

Vaggie rubbed her temples, trying to come up with an idea.

-Who the hell are you talking about? I hate it when you pretend to be Sherlock and leave me like the old cookie in the back of the cupboard.

-Are you interested in what we do? retorted Vaggie sarcastically

-No, more about why you were busting my balls, joked Angel.

-You don't even have one, asshole, mumbled quietly Husk, taking a sip of his cheap booze.

-Want to check~? It is free for you kitty cat.

-Not even for a thousand balls, growled quietly Husk, who was beginning to lose his patient.

-Ouuh finally a price there is progress, Daddy, the spider sent him a kiss

Alastor, who was reading a book by the fireplace, decided to speak

-Charlie, Darling, you seem concerned about this person Let me see…

He seemed surprised for a moment, before smiling more, if possible.

-My my, what a terrible coincidence. The person you are looking for is one of the most sought after. Didn't Lucifer tell you about Lady (Y/N)?

-Um… We're not exactly talking about all that-

“Daddy issues,” Husk muttered.

Alastor continued:

-As reported in this document, she flew away shortly after your parents. She was a person living in Heaven, she was not human, but not an angel entirely though, she had two pairs of wings, although she is the appearance of a mortal, yet she had her own power, not to be underestimated. She embodied humor, justice and determination. In short, all these things that are way too boring-

-Cut it short, Alastor, Vaggie said, snapping her fingers.

-But when Lucifer challenged God, she did not follow him, not because she had to beat him, but because he knew just as well as she did that what he was doing was wrong. For the first time in her life she felt an immense disappointment in the love he had once inspired in her, and the semblance of a relationship that was perhaps tending to end disappeared with the appearance of the first demon, your father, Charlie.

However, you are aware that shortly after the creation of Lilith, she quickly became friends with your mother, and when she flew away from Paradise, and she learned the cause, she entered in a black anger, so black that Gabriel had difficulty in containing it, Until then, she had always been obedient, never contesting the decisions, which were of infallible Justice, but this departure had torn away part of her herself. She confronted the lord, she tried to rally the others to her cause, but nothing changed. Disappointed, she left that place, and no one ever saw her again.

There was a heavy silence for a moment, before Angel said:

-So…Is she still a virgin?

Vaggie rolled her eyes before Charlie had an idea:

I'm sure she's not that far away. Maybe I should ask my father to contact her again. She must care about him, at least I hope so, and if I convince her, Gabriel won't be able to object!

Vaggie refrained from adding a comment, she knew it was too good to be able to do it, but in front of her girlfriend's adorable face, she couldn't refuse anything.

______________________________________________________________

-No, Lucifer said firmly, before Charlie could even finish his idea.

-But dad-

-End of discussion, I don't want to hear anything, he turned around and mechanically squeezed the rubber duck in his hand, like an anti-stress ball.

Lucifer seemed elsewhere, deep in thought. His friend, his old friend…

.

.

.

“Luciferrrrr!” A burst of joy appeared as she walked towards him, a smile on her lips, a book in her hands.

Lucifer as usual had a lyre in his hands. He looked up at Y/N and smiled.

One discussion led to another, he shared his ideas about the mortal world, while she agreed with some and shared her opinion on others. They would sometimes just stay silent, or she would read aloud from a book, and he would then accompany her with his lyre.

Such a beautiful memory…

.

.

.

Why Lucifer?! Why did you do this?

This same friend was there with her eyes filled with tears, disappointed in him.

Lucifer looked down. One mistake, just one mistake, had caused him to lose those he considered family, and his closest friend.

He wanted to tell her that it was just a misunderstanding, that it was for the best, but the damage was already done.

He took Lilith's hand and without a word, left for their new home.

The young woman, in tears, could only watch them leave, the man she loved and her friend, without being able to do anything, because her principles prevented her. Gabriel placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, and said nothing. If she knew, he couldn't imagine how she would have reacted

.

.

.

-Dad?

Lucifer seemed to come out of his thoughts and focused on a family portrait. Lilith was already gone, after their separation he only had his daughter left, and after a second of thought he sighed and said:

-I'll see what I can do…

-It's true? Oh thank you Dad, thank you thank you thank you!, cried Charlie enthusiastically.

She took him in her arms, and Lucifer said to himself that finally, if having a hug from his daughter meant having to seek the 7 rings of Hell and even the beyond, he would do it without complaining.

Now all that remained was to find it, the most complicated part…

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lucifer, Charlie and the hotel members thought for several days, using all their knowledge and powers to find her. If she was neither in Hell, nor in Heaven, or even in the mortal world, she must be between the latter options-

Lucifer suddenly had an idea, remembering a conversation they had shared long ago, and he cast an incantation, which opened a portal to a world- no, a unique place, so messy and blurry, and yet so… familiar, as if he were…

“In the middle of a dream,” Charlie whispered softly. The rest of the team followed her, looking around curiously. Lucifer asked himself so many questions, was it a place where souls rested between life and death? He did not know it. After all, the soul left the body for a while when it slept, that would explain the place.

-Who are you? I sense human souls, but something else…

They saw several women advancing, of great beauty, similar to fairies, but armed, ready to defend themselves, if it was not for another who stopped them by raising her hand, she advanced slowly, and Lucifer recognized her completely. right now.

-(Y/N)..Lucifer seemed upset to see her, and tried to pull himself together by talking to himself. "Ok, Ok. It's going to be okay buddy, you can do it, you can do it", When he met her gaze, he lost all his courage and hid behind Charlie.

-Dad!

-What? I-I'm just covering your back Charlie.

-At least what I thought of you is true, you're just a sissy Lucifer, Alastor sneered.

You looked at him for a moment, the man you had loved for thousands of years, it was..strange. You didn't know whether you should greet him or hit him.

-Lucifer, what is the honor of this visit worth to me? In 10,000 years you have never had the decency to come visit me.

Sarcasm. Something unusual about you, he couldn't help but admire you. Your two pairs of wings were now grey, but your eyes were still this soft (e/c) shade, but now full of resentment, and perhaps.. mockery?

-And you, you must be his daughter, mhh?

You moved closer to her and observed her suspiciously, while she was sweating profusely, and Vaggie seemed on the edge on attacking you, and to her surprise, you smiled widely and took her in your arms, with surprising strength.

-My lord you are his carbon copy, so pretty~, you squish her cheek cheeks and gush about her, while she laughs awkwardly.

Everyone was stunned by how fast the tension dissipates, and the women behind you giggle, seemingly aware by how fast your emotions tend to change. Lucifer smiles, maybe he still had a chance..

-But you seem so polite, unlike some, you cast a dark look at Lucifer, and greeted the others with a sympathetic and curious look, their offering to sit down for a while to talk.

...maybe not finally.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

-If I understood everything, you created a hotel to rehabilitate sinners… and are trying to convince Heaven, is that right?

She nodded and Lucifer tried to add something, but you stopped him:

-I don't speak with traitors and liars, especially if they forget to send me a life message for eons.

Lucifer doesn't say anything wanting to make anything worse. He knew he was wrong, and sighed heavily.

(Y/N)-1 Lucifer-0.

-Damn, this girl is awesome, Angel whispered excitedly.

Vaggie continued:

-Lady (Y/N), you still have decent relationship with heaven.Could you try talking to some highers-up about it? Like Gabrie-

-No, this thing is no longer part of my circle of close friends, I can still try to talk about it again with Sera and Emily, but I can't do anything with the other weirdo.

Charlie felt hopeless, and she took your hands and looked at you with a miserable expression.

-I beg you, you must speak to him, my people are dying every year at the hands of the exorcists, and I-I cannot stand by and do nothing. Can you try..?

At his beaten puppy look, you widened your eyes, it was exactly-

Please don't tell them where I was, Lucifer pleaded with adorable eyes. You sighed but smiled, nodding your head.

-Well, i will. But I'm not promising anything though-

-Thank you thank you thank you, she hugged you, and you hugged her back with a smile.

Lucifer felt his heart beat faster, these two women who are precious to him have finally met, and got along better than he expected.

Now all he had to do was sort out one last problem.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Explanations were made. You listened patiently, and after a while you answered:

-Why Lucifer, didn't you tell me before? I-I thought I was your friend.

Lucifer held her gaze, and for the first time in millennia he took his courage in both hands and took hers:

-I didn't want to see your disappointed look, I know I made a mistake, but I only thought about doing the right thing. And I-

-You got scared?

He nodded, and you sighed:

-I don't blame you, at least not anymore.

He raised his eyes, feeling a bit of hope, and feeling Charlie's encouraging look, he continued:

-So, can we try again? I mean our relationship- Well our friendship!

He blushed slightly and you chuckled softly:

-Yes, always Lucifer.

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2024 | Day 23: Established Relationship

Digital | @ididitallofitforyou Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,063 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Relationship, Kissing Summary: Cas and Jack tell Dean about their day at the farmers market. Flirty texting, family dinners, and movie nights included.

Anchor in Storm | @tami-ryver Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,086 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel Takes Care of Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Takes Care of Castiel, Angry Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Has Self-Worth Issues, Angst, Angst and Feels Summary: Dean knows as it has been the subject of more then enough of their fights. Of course, Cas doesn't see it that way. He always says that he needs to know and that it's for a good cause, which in Dean' mind is a load of bullshit. But, he can't tell Cas that, as it will fire him even more and most fights if not all, end up with a lot of angry sex.

That Takes Me Back | @blessyourhondahurley Rating: General Word Count: 1,170 Main Tags/Warnings: alternate universe, domestic fluff, high school, established relationship Summary: Dean and Cas reminisce about how it all began...

Restless | @blessyourhondahurley Rating: Mature Word Count: 1,748 Main Tags/Warnings: Wedding fluff Summary: After a (mostly) sleepless night, Dean wakes to a very special, and very busy, day.

this is the only thing i've ever had any faith it | @watchinghimrakeleaves Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3,760 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, Marriage Proposal, Castiel is Jack Kline's Parent, Dean Winchester is Jack Kline's Parent, Human Castiel, Supportive Sam Winchester, Retired Hunter Dean Winchester Summary: The world is safe, Dean and Cas own a bar on the beach, and Dean is ready to ask Cas for something he could have never imagined he was allowed to have.

Sturdy | @shishquahcustardtree Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4,065 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, top!Castiel, bottom!Dean, post 15x18, fluff and smut, canon divergent, no 15x20, post Castiel Empty rescue Summary: It’s been four weeks since Castiel was rescued from The Empty. Four weeks of a confession of Deans own, soft kisses, and indecent public exposure (and a very tired Sam). The Dean-Cave needs a new couch. Dean wants Castiel to go with him. Sam wants to not have to bail them out of the local police station again. Dean wants to keep the real reason for the new couch a secret until the very end.

Making Pie | @ididitallofitforyou Rating: General Word Count: 5,018 Main Tags/Warnings: Adoption, Family, Meet Cute, Established Relationship Summary: Cas and Dean have been waiting to adopt for years. Claire, Emma, and Jack just lost their parents in a car accident. Are Cas and Dean ready to go from zero to three kids all at once?

Under Lock and Key | @teeparadigm67 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 10,215 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Handcuffs, Enochian Handcuffs, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Fluff and Smut, Oral Sex, Light Bondage, Sex in the Men of Letters Bunker, Poor Sam Winchester he's seen too much, Porn with Feelings Summary: He thought he was a damn genius when the inspiration struck him, noticing the glint of metal while rearranging Babys’ weapon’s arsenal. But now, with every step he took walking from the garage, the doubt started to seep in. The sex was a fairly new dynamic to their relationship but now Dean had gotten a taste, he was hooked. There was however just one tiny little problem, Castiel’s grace surges. It did wonders for his ego, knowing that every time they had sex Cas’s grace would become so powerful that it would blow the bunkers' power. But after one too many “electrical mishaps,” his angelic boyfriend had taken a vow of chastity, not wanting to risk damage to the bunker's electrics or anywhere else for that matter. It's not that Cas wasn’t offering Dean enjoyment, but it’s just so much better when there are two at play. He needed to try something, anything to get Cas out of that damn trench coat and into his bed again, and hopefully, the Enochian handcuffs that sat heavily in his back pocket might be the solution to all their problems. (That's if Cas would be on board with the idea.)

What I Put You Through | @macy2me Rating: Mature Word Count: 17,921 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Getting divorced, Sad boys don't use their words right, Secrets, Kidnapping, Angst, Lots of Angst, All aboard the train of angst, Destination: Happy ending, Getting Back Together, Jack is in trouble, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Anal Sex, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, I promise there is a happy ending Summary: “Jack’s missing,” his almost ex-husband speaks the words no parent ever wants to hear. This is a story about two men that have fallen out of love but must come together to get their only child back.

Good Times, Bad Times, Past Times | @lazarus-rose Rating: Explicit Word Count: 25,313 Main Tags/Warnings: Time travel, human Castiel, post canon, canon-typical violence, married Castiel/Dean Summary: With his demon deal almost due, Dean didn't foresee much of a future for himself — until he is faced with a version of him from 2023. This apparent future is accompanied by Sam and another man who seems very close to Dean's future self and claims to be a fallen angel. Dean thought he and Cas had finally gotten their happy ending after defeating Chuck and semi-retiring from hunting. But, after Jack informs them of a rogue angel who has gone back in time to kill Dean before he ever went to Hell, the two of them agree to join Sam for one last hunt.

Til Apocalypse Do Us Part | @avonlady42 Rating: Explicit Word Count: 34,920 Main Tags/Warnings: established relationship, married, top castiel/bottom Dean Winchester, switching, fluff and smut, anal sex, supernatural elements, dean winchester wears panties Summary: Dean thought he had the perfect life. He married his high school sweetheart, Castiel, and they lived the apple pie life with the white picket fence. It all goes horribly wrong one day when he wakes up and his husband is suddenly missing. He searches for him and files a missing persons report, but he is nowhere to be found. The apple pie life he thought he had disappeared when his brother and mother let him in on the secret that monsters and angels and demons are real and they hunt them in order to keep the world safe. They think Castiel’s disappearance is somehow connected and Dean agrees to join them if it will bring his husband home. What Dean doesn’t know is there is more to the story than anyone is telling him and it’s up to him to try to figure it out.

[thenextdawn-backup]

I Will Rescue You

Word count: 3.4K

Summary: story inspired from a Tik Tok, you have always had a blog about Jenna and your mental health, and one day your dreams about meeting her will finally come true.

Warnings: mentions of depression, suicide. Fluff at the end

Pairing: Jenna Ortega X Fem!Reader

This is my favorite story so far. It has a special meaning for me. There’s a lot of me in this story, almost for 6 years now I’ve been struggling with depression and aside from this being a story, I meant what I wrote, I really did. Don’t ever give up because there’s always something’s good in the end of a storm🤍✨

———

Your account on twitter has always had a big following, mostly because of the contents and the subject of your posts. Jenna Ortega. You were the same age as her and you’ve loved her and her work ever since you first saw her on screen, on Stuck in the middle. Ever since you saw every show or movie she was in, every interview every nomination. You never missed any of it, though people on twitter didn’t just follow you because of your contents about Jenna, they also had learned to care about you and your mental health. You’ve always shared how Jenna has saved your life just with some sentences she’d say on the internet that’d make you keep going.

You were suicidal and depressed, and on your twitter account you shared your road to recovery, your ups and down, all of it but most of all you’d encourage people to keep on going, just like you were trying to do, thanks to Jenna. You had never talked to her, she did like your post at times (it was very rare) and that was enough for you, it was like a sign that you had to keep going and that you had to do it so that one day you could get to meet the girl that has saved your life. Each times there were castings open for a show of hers you’d try send your tryout or application even for a side character, you might have seemed obsessed but really, you just wanted to thank her, that was all you wanted to do. You never got called back for her shows until one day.

You had auditioned for one of the side character in Wednesday Season Two, but the director really liked you - considering you had no experience, you must have been really good - and decided to give you one of the main roles in season two of the show. Of course you had to share this with the people that followed you but obviously you couldn’t spill too many details and had to keep it up to a certain point, so you ended up not posting. Recently you had been posting less and less, making your followers really worried about you, given the fact that your last post was “currently about to give up. “ people might have thought you’d do that for attentions but your followers knew better, they knew you were serious. Luckily you hadn’t given out your name so no one could actually retrace you.

You were thrilled, you would finally get to meet the girl that saved your life. You wanted to tell her everything, you just wanted her to know that she saved your life in so many ways that she couldn’t even imagine. And here you were, heading off to Romania to film Wednesday Season Two. You knew your schedule would be tight from now on and you didn’t mind that, because you knew that you would be happy. You finally had the job of your dreams with the girl you always admired… only she didn’t know about you of how she saved you, but that’s where you were wrong. She had been following your twitter account (she wasn’t a follower of yours, but she’d look for your profile to check on you, see if you were alright.) she knew that this fan of hers was struggling, but she didn’t know that it was you, her new cast mate. How could she have known, after all? You never gave out your name for obvious reasons.

Your first day on set was surprisingly good, the atmosphere was just everything you dreamed of. Trailers, sets ready, cameras, booths for food and hair and make up. You had imagined that there was a lot of work behind a show like this, just not THIS MUCH work. The other cast members hadn’t arrived yet but you got the chance to meet the director, Tim Burton. “Hey there! You must be (Y/N) right?” He asked as he shook your hand with a smile. “Yes, it’s really nice to meet you and to be here, it feels surreal” you looked around, still pretty astonished from the whole environment. “It’s good to have you here! You seriously have no experience in the movie industry? Your audition was amazing.” You shook your head, scratching your neck as you blushed. You were a really shy person.

“Really, I have no experience… that’s why I auditioned for a side character… I never thought that you’d want to take someone with Zero experience as a main character” you said and that made him smile. “Well I can recognize talent whenever I see some and there’s really a lot of talent in you, I couldn’t just let it go to waste” he said and that made you smile “plus, the other cast members are around your age and they are all really nice people so they’ll give you lots of tips and tricks of the job, just wait till you meet them” he said kind of excitedly. A while later the other cast members arrived, all together. Percy, Hunter, Joy, Emma and… Jenna.

There she was. The girl that had saved your life. You’d repeat that a thousand of times and you’d never get tired of it. You were ready to tell her everything, and then… you were not. “Hey! I suppose you’re (Y/N)!” It was Emma talking, who held out her hand to you. You shook her hand happily as you looked to everyone else “y-yes it’s me, hi” you said awkwardly, blushing as you shook everyone hers and else’s hand, and Jenna’s too. “I’m Jenna. It’s really good to finally meet you, Tim has talked a lot about you and your audition, we can’t wait to see you in action” she said smiling as she let go of your hand and flashed you one of her brightest smiles. “Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I’m a big fan of all of your works I have to say.” You tried to keep it formal, you didn’t want to seem like the obsessed fan as you didn’t want them to push you away, so your dream of telling her everything vanished with that thought.

The talk with her and everyone else was pretty casual, you didn’t want them to think you were nothing but a fan, and with you being really shy you stayed quiet all the time. They were really good friends with each other and it was easy for them to just talk about anything, but you were scared of being refused by them and you didn’t even know how to engage a small talk with them, unless it was them asking you stuff to which you’d obviously reply, but aside from that, you were quiet. That day like the cast usually does they all sat together in one trailer to play Uno and they invited you as well. They had noticed you were really shy, but they figured you just needed to warm up to them. So they included you in each activity, wether it was hanging out together inside someone’s trailer or going out on dinners together.

That night as you were playing Uno and you were being really quiet as your usual, you had noticed that Jenna was quiet, too. She was very distracted unlike her usual when these nights happened, not that you’d learned. “Jen, are you okay?” Percy asked, getting her attentions as well as everyone else’s in the room. “Yeah, I’m just worried… do you remember that girl on twitter I told you about?” He nodded, but Emma looked at her confused. “What girl?” She asked “there’s this girl, she’s the same age as me. She’s been following me and my work ever since Stuck in the middle. She has always struggled with Mental health and always talked about how I saved her even with just a sentence…” shit, she was talking about you. Was she? “Well her last tweet is from two weeks ago and she tweeted “currently about to give up” and I’m so worried, I just want her to be okay” they definitely were talking about you.

“Well do you know her name? Have you tried texting her-“ everything else became background noises as you thought about everything that she had just said. You couldn’t be in the same room as her at the moment, you just couldn’t bare to. You didn’t want to break and end up telling her everything, you didn’t want to sound that desperate that you’d audition to spend time with her… you had to find an excuse to leave. “Uhm… I’m sorry to interrupt but I think I’ll go to my trailer… it’s been a long day, I woke up pretty early to catch the plane and I’m really tired so I’m going to sleep… goodnight everyone and thanks for the night” you thanked them and they all told you good night, including Jenna but with that same worried look in her eyes.

As soon as you arrived at your trailer you had to keep calm, you wanted to keep calm… only you couldn’t. You wanted to tell her everything but at the same time, could you? Would you seem like a stalker if you told her everything? It was all so scary, and you were reevaluating your choices of coming here. Yet on the other hand, if there was anything you could do to make Jenna less worried was write a tweet. “Hi guys, I’m sorry if I worried you all. I’m fine, just been a rough period. Thank you for supporting me <3” Jenna got the notification of your tweet and her friends saw her exhale of relief as they went on with their night.

The following days went by pretty smoothly you would say. You started filming and you were really good, you’d do all scenes in one take, mostly because your anxiety made you do all things good and precisely, that was probably the only good thing about it because except from that it was not a healthy kind if anxiety. You were slowly warming up to everyone else but you still tried to keep your distances from Jenna. She had tried asking you about it but of course you would just tell her that it was her impression, and that you acted like this with everyone else as well, though she knew that there was something else behind it.

Your time with the others was strictly on set, you refused to spend time with them anywhere else, too scared to break in front of everyone. However even on set the situation was becoming too overwhelming for you, Jenna’s presence and all, good you just wished you could hug her and finally feel safe. The other actors as well as the director noticed your “situation” but just wondered that it was because you had never been on set before and you were still trying to figure out everything, get used to the sleeping schedule and all of it, luckily there was a period where your character wasn’t included in filming so you had a period of rest. Of course the others asked you to spend time with them, wanting to include you in their friend group but you would always make up some excuses.

Though Jenna wasn’t stupid. She knew that there was something up with you and she wanted to help you. The fact that you were also trying to ignore her told her that something was going on and that you refused to tell her, so she had to find out. One day after filming, she saw the lights on in your trailer and decided to come in and talk to you. You heard knocks on your door as you put on a hoodie and opened the door. “Jenna… hi” you said with a small smile, your attempts of ignoring obviously had all failed? “Can I come in? I want to talk to you real quick” she took a quick look at you, eyes puffy and swollen as if you had been crying, but she didn’t want to interrogate you on that, not yet.

She walked in the trailer and looked around. It was meticulously clean and everything was in order, except for your bed. Your laptop and phone on your bed open for everyone to see, but she minded her own businesses and only looked at you. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you or why you’re ignoring me, but I know you’re going through something and I would like to help you…” she started and looked at you, tears filling your (e/c) eyes as you tried to look away from her. “Uhm.. I’m-I’m going to the bathroom real quick and then we can talk…” you said and watched her nod lightly, as you quickly went to the bathroom. You were going in full panic but you couldn’t Jenna was there in the other room, so you just washed your face real quick and tried to catch your breath.

In the meantime, Jenna in the other room had to figure out what was going on. She was sure you wouldn’t tell her everything, so she decided to invade your privacy. ‘Just momentarily,’ she thought. ‘It’s for her own good.’ When she went to take a look at your laptop she saw Twitter was open, your account - the one she has been worried about - open for her to see. It wasn’t like you were just looking at that profile, it was your profile and she was sure of that because you had the interface of writing a post open.

And suddenly she realized everything. The girl who has always wanted to meet her, the one she has wanted to meet; the girl she had saved; the girl she has always wanted to reassure that she’d be okay. It was you, it was you the whole time and she was honestly so glad that it was you, she was so glad to see you were okay. When you came out of the bathroom and saw her look at your laptop, you immediately walked over “what are you doing?” You asked her and immediately took the laptop, shutting it close and moving it away. “(Y/N), you’re that girl from twitter-“ she didn’t know what else to add, it all came out as a shock to her. You looked down, tears still filling your eyes as you refused to say anything. “Why did you never tell me anything?” She asked you and you sighed, sitting down trying to calm down and catch your breath.

She sat down next to you, hand on your back as she waited for you to speak. “I- I didn’t want to come out as desperate to your eyes. I mean I am I never denied I’m not… all I ever wanted to do was just meet you and tell you everything but when I came here, I just couldn’t. I froze, I didn’t want to seem like the stalker of the situation that would find a role on set just to be with you. Truly that was not what I meant to do, but I did and now I’m going out of my mind. I tried not to say anything because you have your perfect life, I didn’t want to be a weigh in your life with my pathetic needs, so I never said anything. But it’s getting really heavy, It’s really hard to keep everything in with my condition-“ by now you were full on sobbing, and Jenna took your hand to try and reassure you.

“This is why I’m always staying alone in my trailer… I didn’t want to just be a weight” you kept not looking at her, wiping your own tears with your free hand, while Jenna was tightly squeezing your other one, rubbing her hand against your back. “When on my profile I said that you saved me, I mean it, Jenna. There were days where I was on the verge of… committing suicide…” you said the last two words in a lower voice tone “and then I’d remember your interview, when you said about fighting depression and I’d think “why kill myself when I still have my whole life ahead of me” and I’d be okay, if I never got to know you I would have never survived those crappy periods” you kept it simple, not wanting to go in details.

“(Y/N),” she called for you, and you looked up to look at her, eyes worried and eyebrows furrowed in sorrow “I’m sorry for everything that you went through, but I’m glad that even just a few sentences of mine managed to keep you floating.” She started and kept on holding your hand, but when she saw you pulling it away she squeezed it even tighter. “I want you to know that I’ll always be here for you, whenever you need me. As you know I’ve struggled with depression too, and it wasn’t easy coming out of it but there’s nothing better than saying “I made it” and I want to hear you say it too” you looked down at what she said, you had been depressed for a really long time now and you didn’t believe that there was any chance of you getting better.

“Look at me” she used a soft voice of tone, eyes completely focused on you as you turned to look at her, she noticed fear in your eyes as you tried to focus on your breathing. “if you get lost, I will send out an army of people to find you, even when you’re in your darkest places I’ll be there to rescue you from every single one of them. Now that we know each other it’ll be even easier. I know you think you’ll never get out of it but you will and I’ll be there every step of the way. Are we clear?” She said with a soft, sad smile as she looked at you hopeful.

You slowly nodded at her and tried hinting a small smile as well, she knew you wanted to try, she knew you were willing to do so with her. “Come here” she said and pulled you in a hug, the one you have been craving for so long, and She heard you try and suppress sobs. “You can let it go (Y/N)” she whispered in your ear. You tried to keep your composure for some more, but you gave in. You were soon crying on her shoulders and gripping her shirt almost as if your life depended on her - which it kind of did - you finally got to tell her everything, you finally got to hug the woman that has saved your life multiple times and she promised to you and herself to help you out, you couldn’t ask for anything better.

You were so sobbing and screaming on her shoulders, your tears wetting her shirt but she didn’t seem to care as she held you tightly as one hand brushed through your hair, all while she kept whispering sweet nothings into your ear. “It’ll be okay (Y/N). You’re okay. I’m here with you from now on” she kept on repeating, trying to reassure you until you had actually calmed down, which took around 15 minutes. When the two of you had pulled back from the hug she moved some hair away from your face as you smiled at her, and noticed that her eyes were now red and teary too. “Why are you crying too?” You asked her, sniffling as you took a tissue and cleaned your nose. She smiled “I’m just glad to finally be at your side and see you’re okay” she nodded and sniffled as well, you smiled slightly.

“Are you gonna come to Percy’s trailer to play uno from now on? We really enjoy being around you” she asked, this made you smile brighter than earlier, luckily they didn’t just see by you as a “newbie” and actually wanted to be around you. You nodded at her and smiled, soon enough she took your hand and the two of you headed to his trailer.

Looks like you’ll finally have some friends.

[k-slla]

Darkness Within You

A/N:A very smutty Demon!Dean fic for @cevansbaby-dove ! Second GIF was base for request and used as inspiration. Thank you for your request and I'm so sorry I kept you waiting for so long! Hope you like it!🤍

A/N2: I was not the "most" sober when I wrote this (blame it on the alcohol -or I just have a filthy mind😈😉)

Warnings: 18+ONLY, smut!, language, blowjob, rough face fucking, fingering, edging, slight choking, unprotected p in v, creampie (hope I got everything down)

WC: ~2.4k

My Masterlist

You were hiding behind the shelves in storage room 7B, steadying your breathing in case Dean had gotten closer to you. You had no idea why he came back to the Bunker. After all, he had taken so many precautions not to be found by you, Sam or Cas. And now you had no idea where Sam was while his brother chased you down the Bunker with a hammer at the same time. But you didn't have time to think about that. You had to get out of there fast.

“You're probably wondering where Sam is, aren't you, dear? Well..Sammy is a few states over, trying to find a demon to make a deal with. To find me and Crowley. Not coming home anytime soon. And just who knows what might be left waiting for him.” You heard Dean's taunting voice behind the closed door, followed by a hit of a hammer into the wall. You tightened your grip on the demon blade. You hoped he'd leave to look somewhere else. “Y/N, I know you're in there and I have all the time in the world to wait for you.” You heard Dean say in a singsong voice. “But I won’t.”

With that he kicked in the door, causing you to yelp and hide more into the shadows of the corner. He pulled the shelves apart, revealing the dungeon side of the room you were hiding.

Dean sauntered in, brow cocked when he looked around in the dungeon. “Smart of you to choose the room with the Devil’s Trap. Unfortunately, it won’t do any good for you.” He looked straight into your eyes. You knew it wasn’t dark enough in there to hide you completely, and your shuddering breaths were also probably dead giveaway. “Dean, stop, please!”

“Or what? What are you going to do?” He slowly approached, eyeing you like a prey, which you pretty much were at this point. There’s no way you could come out alive from a fight with Dean. You stretched out your hand holding the knife. “Stop! I don’t want to hurt you.” You said as calmly you could manage. “Oh, Honey, you really mean that.” Dean said with feigned sweetness in his voice, and came to stand in front of you, pushing his neck against the blade.

“Do it, baby. Show me what you got.” His dark green eyes locked with yours and his mouth curved into a devilish grin. The one, that only Dean could muster on his face, and it made your heart flutter. For the very wrong reasons. Now standing face to face with him, you saw how unbelievably handsome he was right now. The Devil-may-care attitude was probably, what did it for you. Also his hair, which was longer than he usually kept, was now slightly messy, like he had ran his fingers through it. And even the red shirt, he had worn so many times before, was now fueling the arousal in you. So many times before you had rejected him, only for now to discover that you’d let him fuck you senseless, if he’d asked you nicely. Who am I kidding - he wouldn’t even have to ask. You thought to yourself.

“Well, Y/N, are we gonna fight or make out? I’m getting some mixed signals looking at you.” Dean said with a smirk. As he started to lean closer into you, you backed against the wall, until there was nowhere to run. Your eyes traveled between his eyes and lips, you so desperately needed onto yours. “I- Dean, please..” You whimpered and didn’t even care how pathetic, whorish, or desperate it made you sound. “Dean, please what? Want me to show mercy on you?”

“No. I need you. I want you to fuck me. Please.” You only managed to get a shallow breath in before his lips crashed onto yours. He smirked into the kiss, when you couldn't hold a moan in. Your fingers raked through his hair while his hands traveled down to your hips. “Don’t get me wrong, sweetheart, I'm all for it but now you want me to fuck you? When I'm a demon?” He asked between kisses. “Shut up! You talk too much.” You blurted out. One of his hands quickly closed around your throat, squeezing and cutting off the air for you. “What did you say?” He growled into your ear. You were a little taken aback by his sudden roughness, but in the end it only turned you on more. “Nn-nothing!” You squeaked out. He left sloppy kisses in his trail moving down your jaw. “Thought so.” He whispered. He relaxed his grip on your neck, slowly moving his hand down to your breast, squeezing them hard. He continued to massage your tits through your shirt, while he pushed his crotch into yours. You moaned wantonly, not holding back on anything any longer. “Please, I need more!” His lips found yours again and roughly claimed them, biting hard to shut you up. Sudden sharp pain caused you to cry out, which was muffled by kisses. He must've bit through the soft inside of your lip, drawing blood. Your suspicions were cleared when you felt the metallic taste of blood on your tongue. You didn't think of it any longer, the need for him silenced the pain quick enough. And you definitely didn't care about what would happen next for you and Dean. The desperation for him was overpowering the rational thoughts that tried to claim a place inside your mind.

He broke a kiss for a second. “It has been a long time since you got any, hasn't it? You didn't pick up men from the bars, when we used to hunt together.'' He asked, leaning his forehead against yours. You managed to nod as an answer. “Fuck, yes, it has.” You panted out. “I can never get myself to cum as hard as I used to do when I still got fucked. It always feels unfinished.”

Your hands moved down to his pants to free his erection that has been pressing into your thigh for some time. “Can - please..?” You whined, feeling like a whore in heat, not even able to talk coherently. “You’re asking for my permission to suck my cock?” Dean chuckled. You lowered yourself onto your knees and looked up at him hungrily. “Well, go ahead sweetheart. Suck.” He pulled his pants down, revealing his thick, hard erection. You stared at it for a second like you were in trance. You quickly spat into your palm, and closed your hand around the base, squeezing once before starting to gently pump him along the whole length. He held his hands on his hips, grunting hard at your moves.

“Fuck, Y/N, honestly, your hand feels amazing, but I need to get into that filthy little mouth of yours. Open up now.” You dropped your hands to your sides and opened your mouth wide, waitingly pushing your tongue out. Dean laced his fingers through your hair and yanked you closer. Slowly he pushed himself into your mouth, as deep as you could take. You expected a lot more harshness from him, but to your surprise he started to fuck your mouth at a slow pace. He kept a steady rhythm for a long time. You were moaning and whimpering at every thrust you felt deep in your throat, causing him to pull on your hair. After a minute he let go of your hair and signaled for you to keep moving. You wrapped your fingers again around his cock, squeezing hard while your tongue made circles around the tip. He pulled out of your mouth, grabbed your jaw and looked into your eyes. “Don't test my patience. I told you to suck. Do it properly.”

He pushed himself back into your mouth, now showing the roughness you expected from him earlier. For a long time the only sounds filling the room were Dean's animalistic grunts as he fucked your mouth, and your moans and whimpers as you suffered through his manhandling. When he pulled out, you were finally able to catch your breath.

“Take off your clothes, need to get into that pussy before I cum.” He stroked his cock slowly as he watched you stand up.

You were still panting hard when you got up and started to undress yourself, slowly peeling off your flannel, top and pants, leaving only your underwear. Dean's eyes ran over your body, dark and lustful. “Do you want to see what happens when you tease me? I told you clothes off!” Dean locked you between himself and the wall behind you. His eyes were now black and you knew you were in trouble. He turned you around and shoved you right into the wall, luckily you reacted fast enough to put your hand up to protect yourself from hitting your head. “Dean!”

“Don't “Dean” me! Can't let you get away with not listening to me, can I?” You threw a taunting look over your shoulder and smiled. “And what you're gonna do about it? All I hear right now, are just some empty threats.” You tried to push yourself away from the wall, but his strong arm laid across your back, stopping you immediately. “Hold it!” He growled into your ear.

With one hand holding you in place, the other pulled down your underwear. Cool air of the room contrasted with the heat between your legs. “Fucking knew it. It's like a pool down here.” Dean grinned as his fingers moved through your slick folds. You moaned involuntarily, when he ran his finger over your sensitive bud. “Mmm, fuck..Dean, please.” Two of his fingers slipped easily into you, curling into the spongy part inside of you. Slowly, he started to increase the speed of his moves. You couldn't even believe how easily he could make you cum by just fingering you. You arched your back even more, pushing your ass further back, so his fingers would move as deep as possible. “You like that, don't you?” You hear from his voice that he was chuckling. “Yes, I do!! Please just..unhhh…please I need you in me..” His hand picked up even more speed and you weren't sure how long you could hold on. “I- I can't..” You tried to speak but nothing, but some shaky whines begging for him to fuck you came out of your mouth. Feeling him hit the right spot with each move, you shut your eyes in pleasure. You were so close to snap, and then he pulled out his fingers, leaving you writhing against the wall in need. “I told you. You don't want to tease me.” He turned you around and took a long look at your glistening skin and messy hair. “Look at you. Hot and messy. Waiting to be fucked.” He laughed and brushed strands of hair away from your face. “Gorgeous.” He whispered and kissed you again.

Dean easily lifted you up onto his arms, like you weighed nothing. He walked into the front of the room, where there were some shelves with old Men of Letters files and a large wooden desk, not breaking the kiss. He sat you down on the edge of the table, pushing your legs open. “Oh, do you have any ideas how I've been waiting to get to fuck you? Not going to wait any longer.” He said between kisses, as he took his place between your legs. You ran your fingers through his hair, moaning loudly as you felt the head of his cock nudging at your entrance. “Please.” You whispered and broke the kiss when he started to push in.

You looked down where two of you connected and saw him sinking into you inch by inch, his girth stretching you deliciously. “Ohh, fuuckk..” you moaned quietly and had to bite down on your lip, when he started to thrust roughly into you. You felt like your hands couldn't carry the weight of your body and you laid down on the table. As much as you could hold your eyes open, you stared at Dean. How his strong hands held your thighs apart. How his jaw clenched and brows furrowed when he focused on the rhythm of his moves. His hair was now messy after you had your way with it. “Dean, I’m.. close!” You cried out as his every move hit your sweet spot and made your pussy clenched around him. He chuckled: “Yeah, I can feel it.” His hand moved between your legs to start massaging your throbbing clit, which threw you over the edge. “Fuck, Deannn!!” You groaned as you came hard on his cock, drenching him with your juices.

“Oh, you were really close.” He laughed quietly. “I think I can get you to a second one too.” He continued to fuck you hard and rubbing your clit, moving you closer and closer to your second climax. You were already so overstimulated from earlier, it started to feel too much for you. “Dean, I can't anymore!” But with a few more hard pumps, you already felt that Dean was close. His hips started to falter and breathing quickened. “Fuck, Y/N! I’m gonna..” He couldn't finish his sentence, but crashed down hard onto the table, landing on his elbows not to crush you. Feeling his hot cum fill you up, you came for the second time. Harder than before. “Dean, oh god..” Both of you laid there for a minute, trying to catch your breath. Dean pressed a kiss onto your shoulder, and pushed himself back up, pulling out of you. He walked to the back to grab his pants, and when he came back, he just stood there. Grinning at the sight of your body laying on the table, fucked and filled with his cum.

“So, Y/N, I’m going to say this one more time. Do not come looking for me again. I expect you to give the word to Sam, too. Better to just move on with your lives, accepting me as I am, there's nothing you can do about it.” 

You wanted to stop him, beg him to stay. All of you knew there was a cure, but Dean clearly didn't want to be cured. You finally looked up to say something to him, but he was already gone. And that was the last you saw Dean Winchester. 

Tags💕: @jackles010378 @deanwinchestersgirl87 @alternativeprincess94

[their-destinys-writer]

Akuma Flashpoint - Chapter 2

Rated: M

Chapters: 2/?

Chapter Summary: Marinette gets a new reality check.

Info: Canon compliant up to Season 3, Episode 'Ladybug'. Miracle Queen never happened. Canon divergent from that point forward, but might borrow a few details from later seasons. Very loosely inspired by DC's Flashpoint Paradox (the animated movie). Updates on the last Monday of every month.

Ao3 | Wattpad

A/N: Shout out to @art-the-f-up for the amazing art in this chapter.

First | Next

The Vigilante

Marinette stared after Adrien’s disappearing figure, still dumbstruck with his attitude. It was so unlike him to be hostile, even with his own father, who was a supervillain. There wasn’t something wrong.

Everything was wrong.

She stared at her surroundings. It was like the world was completely unaware of how wrong it was. People were walking past her, going about their business like any other morning. Speaking and texting on their phones. Drinking hot beverages. Rushing past, bumping her shoulder, with a croissant in their mouth.

A teen rode by in a bicycle at the edge of the street, past a puddle, splashing Marinette with dirty drain water. The woman raised her knee fruitlessly, for the damage was done. Her baby blue pajama pants were soaked.

Was she in a nightmare?

Marinette took a deep breath, attempting to regain some semblance of control. Yes, Adrien walking away rattled her, but she had to figure out how to fix this. And in that moment, there was only one being who was willing to talk hiding in her own jacket.

In a blink of an eye, she was running across the sidewalk, looking for the nearest alley, while trying two more phone numbers. She found an alley, but there was a couple making out in it. She ran further, until finding a dirtier one, next to an abandoned building. She sat down next to the vandalized trashcan and finally opened her jacket. The kwami immediately fluttered out into the open.

“What is going on?!” Marinette whispered yelled.

“What is going on with you?” Tikki shot back. “You’re acting more deranged than usual.”

“Since when do you call me deranged? No, I got a better question: since when are you so huffy with me?”

“Did you drink something new when I wasn’t looking?”

“I feel like I’m stuck in some nightmare reality.” Marinette held her arms. “Nothing is right. Alya is not answering her phone. I can’t find Nino’s or Chloe’s phone numbers anywhere, Luka and Kagami won’t pick up either, and worse, Adrien and I are not together, apparently.”

Tikki stared at her again, much like she did back in the strange apartment.

“Nino?”

“Yeah, Nino. You know, Carapace.” Marinette shrugged. “I can’t get a hold of my team. And so many of their phone numbers are missing. And you said this phone is mine!” She grabbed the phone again. “But I tried to find Alix, and she’s also missing. I mean, this has to be some time travel thing, right?”

“Marinette,” Tikki said slowly, “did you get hit with a memory loss akuma or something?”

The woman thought for a moment. What was the last thing she remembered before this morning? She had been, in fact, fighting an akuma, right? But it wasn’t a time travelling one. Or memory one. In fact, they had just figured out their power, right? Her power. It had been a her. All they knew about her was that her name was The Genie. She claimed to make wishes come true.

Marinette’s eyes widened.

“I was fighting an akuma,” she said out loud. “The last thing I remember was that I was trying to distract her from Chat Noir. He was off his game because it was the day before Gabriel’s sentencing, and we didn’t expect for him to break out for a last hurrah. But,” her brows furrowed, “she suddenly went after me. Genie held me against a wall and told me I was predictable. I didn’t even say anything before she said that my wish was her command. Next thing I know, I’m waking up in a strange apartment, alone, with you not even talking to me.”

Tikki seemed even more bewildered.

“What did you wish for?” she asked.

“I can’t…” Marinette racked her brain. Why couldn’t she remember wishing something? Unless she didn’t exactly wish it on purpose. She gasped. “I didn’t directly wish it, but I was thinking it.”

“What?!”

“I-I…I was thinking that I didn’t want Adrien to fight his own father.”

Tikki squinted. “Why? Those two argued all the time. Probably still do.”

“No, not like that,” Marinette tried to clear up, even if she wasn’t sure what information this Tikki needed. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but for me, Adrien and I had to fight Gabriel as Ladybug and Chat Noir. Gabriel, who turned out to be Hawkmoth—”

“Wait, what?!” the kwami screeched.

Marinette slightly jumped. “What?”

“You think Gabriel Agreste is Hawkmoth?!”

“I don’t think; I know,” Marinette cleared up. “You don’t?”

Tikki gaped for a minute. She then took a deep breath and put her tiny paws together.

“Please finish your story.”

“Well,” Marinette continued, “I was just feeling sad for Adrien, seeing him having to fight his own father. It broke my heart.”

“So you wished that Chat Noir didn’t have to fight Hawkmoth?”

“I think I did.” A hand covered her mouth. “Not intentionally, or without even thinking that I wished it. But apparently that didn’t matter.”

“So, you said you fought alongside…Chat Noir?” Tikki asked slowly.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” Marinette said in an incredulous tone.

“Marinette,” the kwami said, her voice tuning anxious, “I think you changed reality!”

Art by @art-the-f-up (thank you again!)

“Th-That’s… That’s not possible!” the woman argued. “The only miraculouses capable of doing that are the ladybug and cat ones, and only if they’re together. There’s no way an akuma can be powerful enough to do that.”

“If they can be powerful enough to travel through time, why not change reality? You don’t know the butterfly effect it can have to change one little thing.”

“But how can me not wanting Adrien to fight his own father change reality? Shouldn’t it have made the akuma disappear, or make Genie unable to touch him, or something?”

“I think the akuma took a more sinister route,” Tikki lamented.

“What does that mean?” Marinette questioned, despite her fears about the answer.

Tikki hesitated. It took a deep breath for her to finally speak again.

“Adrien hasn’t been Chat Noir since you fought Stoneheart.”

Her heart beat loudly. That… didn’t sound right. It couldn’t be right. It made no sense. That would mean that…

“That’s not possible.” She shook her head. “No, I finished off Stoneheart because of Chat Noir. He was the only one who had faith in me. It’s how I’m still alive, in fact. If I hadn’t had Chat Noir as my partner, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Chat Noir never showed up again after the stadium. And hasn’t been seen ever since. He’s the partner who abandoned you.”

“No,” Marinette argued. “Adrien would never do that. He would never leave me on my own. Something must’ve happened.”

“And something did,” Tikki reminded. “The akuma. They changed the course of history. They must’ve taken his miraculous, which would also explain how Hawkmoth has been winning.”

“Hawkmoth is winning?!”

“Against the heroes, yes. Against Mayura, I’m not so sure.”

“Whatta you mean ‘against Mayura’?”

“They’re at war with each other. They’re not in your reality?”

“No! Mayura broke down. If it hadn’t been for her betraying Hawkmoth, we wouldn’t have finally caught him. We were the ones who won.”

There was a loud, booming noise somewhere heading south. Marinette and Tikki stared at each other.

“Akuma, right?”

“Or a sentimonster. Or both,” Tikki sighed. “It’s usually both.”

“Either way, we have to deal with…it…” Marinette trailed off, as she realized something important. “Tikki, if Chat Noir is not my partner, do I have anyone else on my team with a miraculous already?”

The kwami looked away. “Uuh…”

“Tikki,” Marinette pressed, “I do have a team, right?”

“Rena Rouge helps you, but you’re not a team.”

“What about all the others?!”

“We lost the miraculous box,” Tikki blurted at last. “You only have the bee miraculous, but you’ve been too scared to give it to anyone since—”

She stopped. Marinette leaned closer.

“Since what?”

“The point is that you don’t have a team,” the kwami said. “Just the vigilante, and the mysterious sidekick.”

“Who and who?”

“Rena Rouge, and some other person we don’t know about who occasionally helps.”

“Rena Rouge is a vigilante?”

“We don’t have time for this!”

“Dammit! Tikki, transform me!”

The familiar pink sparkles swirled around her body, as the suit replaced the clothes she had been wearing. Yet, despite the familiarity of transformation, the outfit didn’t feel right. She felt vulnerable, exposed. Ladybug looked down at herself, only to release a squeak. And immediately tripped on a pair of high heels under her feet.

What was supposed to be an armor that protected her against anything that dared hit her looked more like a nighttime club outfit. Or perhaps a stripper outfit would be more accurate to describe it.

Her shoulders, stomach and upper thighs were exposed. She wore a spotted top that went up to her neck, but that was about all the red she had. Her arms were covered by long, black gloves that ended on her elbows. As bottoms, she wore what looked like a black boy short.

Ladybug wobbled on the long, black boots that reached her thighs, wondering how she was supposed to fight in this… this… thing.

“Tikki, detransform!”

After another pink lightshow, the kwami questioned Marinette’s quick transformation.

“HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WHEN I’M DRESSED AS HALLOWEEN SLUTTY LADYBUG?!”

“But that’s your costume!”

“I can’t fight in high heels. I can barely stand on them!”

“I don’t have time to change your costume. I don’t know enough about the new you to mold it.”

Marinette groaned. It was one thing to fight alone, but it was a whole other level to battle hindered by the patriarchy under her feet.

“Just give me my old costume.”

“Which one?”

“There’s more than one?!”

“It hasn’t been easy with my Marinette!” Tikki yelled. Something Marinette had never seen her own Tikki do in such context. “I can’t do what you’re asking! My powers are still not recognizing that you’re different.”

The kwami looked like she was about to cry. This reality had clearly not been kind to her, and it almost seemed like this universe’s Marinette had not made things easier.

“I’m sorry, Tikki,” she said. “I’m still very confused about things here, and I’m taking it out on you.”

To her horror, now the kwami was really crying. “That’s the first apology I’ve heard from you in years.”

“Am I really that awful?”

“I’ll see if I can at least flatten your shoes,” Tikki responded instead, wiping away her tears. “I’ll need some time to adjust your outfit to the new you.”

“Thank you. It’s enough to at least be coordinated.”

The kwami nodded. With the two of them ready, Marinette called upon her transformation again. She still felt practically naked, but at least she wasn’t tripping over her own feet. One thing was still familiar, though, and that was her ability with the yoyo. Soon enough, she was soaring through the air, feeling more breezy than usual.

In the distance, she could make out a large figure smashing buildings. Clearly a sentimonster, made up of cables and pieces of electronics like computers and televisions. With the shape much like a Japanese mecha. She got close enough to study the creature, but far enough that it couldn’t see her.

Okay, how do I deal with this without Chat Noir? She wondered. Before she got time to figure it out, she saw a blur of black and orange zip up the giant mecha, causing it to stumble and fall on its knees. After a better look, Ladybug could see a very different looking Rena Rouge standing on the shoulder of the sentimonster, holding her flute over her shoulder.

“Can’t stand up, can you?” she yelled, right before sticking the flute behind the creature’s neck. The sentimonster let out a head-splitting scream that made Ladybug cover her ears. When the noise stopped, she attempted to straighten up, but was immediately hit on the back of her head. Staggering away, she turned to see her attacker, to find them twirling a long ruler.

“Misbehaving children get punished,” she declared. “And you, Ladybug, have been one bad cookie.”

“Oh, a teacher akuma. How original,” Ladybug deadpanned. With a swift movement, she slid her leg across the ground, tripping the akuma. She was about to grab the ruler, but the enemy used it to knock away her yoyo. Ladybug had to dodge twice and roll away to get her weapon. Once she was finally upright again, the akuma was gone.

She cursed under her breath but decided to make her way to the sentimonster instead. If she could get the two of them close, she could use them against each other. Ladybug sprinted from rooftop to rooftop, her yoyo flying from chimney to railing at lighting speed. At last, it wrapped around one of the sentimonster’s arms.

“Need a hand?” she yelled at both the creature and Rena Rouge. But just before she landed a two-legged kick on the sentimonster, Rena Rouge hit it on the very spot she had been about to land. Ladybug had to swerve on the last minute, hitting her shoulder instead. “What the hell?!”

“Thanks for the offer, but no,” Rena Rouge responded, taking another swing with her flute. “Why don’t you focus on your monster, while I fight mine.”

Ladybug had landed on the ground after her kicking failure, her brows furrowing at the scolding. “What?” she said under her breath. She raised her head, with hands cupping her mouth as she yelled: “Whatta you mean my monster?! We can’t just beat them separately!”

There was another head-splitting scream from the sentimonster, as several televisions crashed merely inches away from Ladybug.

“Hey! Careful!”

“You’re gonna lead the other one here!” Rena Rouge yelled from the sentimonster’s shoulder.

“That’s the point!” And as if on cue, a figure jumped from the nearest building to where Rena Rouge was standing. “Gotcha.”

Ladybug threw her yoyo, grabbing the akuma’s leg and pulling. Unfortunately for the heroes, the moment the villain landed on the ground, her hand grabbed Rena Rouge’s ankle.

“Shit!” Ladybug started climbing the sentimonster, avoiding to accidentally pull both the akuma and Rena Rouge along. Just as she was reaching the creature’s chest, it let out another ear-splitting scream as it waved its hand, sending all three women flying and loosening the yoyo’s grip on the akuma, and the akuma’s grip on Rena Rouge.

A scream left Ladybug’s lips when she landed hard on a slanted rooftop. Nearby, Rena Rouge also landed, but started rolling down. When she was about to roll off, Ladybug threw her yoyo just in time to wrap it around the vigilante’s wrist, leaving Rena Rouge hanging off the edge. Ladybug quickly ran to her, making sure to not let her drop.

“Are you okay?” she asked as she pulled her up. But the second she reached out a hand, Rena Rouge slapped it away, climbing on her own instead.

“I don’t need your help,” she growled. “Now get out of my way.”

“Alya, can we please talk?”

“We don’t talk,” she snapped, before turning away. “And I’d like to keep it that way. I thought you knew that already.”

“This is important,” Ladybug insisted. “I figured we don’t talk, but you need to listen to me.”

“Find a wall. It’ll care more.”

Rena Rouge ran off and jumped to the next building, back in the direction of the sentimonster. Letting out a noise of frustration, Ladybug ran after her, until they were moving side by side.

“Rena, I’m sorry for every bad thing I’ve done to you. I wouldn’t be talking to you if it wasn’t important. And it is very important right now.”

“Not interested,” the vigilante responded in a sing-song tone.

“If you won’t talk to me, can you at least help me find Carapace?”

Rena Rouge skidded into a halt, and Ladybug followed, almost falling over. When she looked at her teammate—well, other timeline’s teammate, vigilante in this one—a look of pure hatred almost made her stumble back.

“Don’t ever, ever, talk to me again,” she said in a low growl. She then ran off again, not giving Ladybug a chance to retort.

“Rena, please!” she yelled after her, attempting to catch up again. “I just need to talk to someone that—”

But the rest of her sentence was replaced by a yelp when she had to suddenly dodge incoming mechanical debris. In the dodge, her skin scraped against the hot metal of the rooftop, burning her shoulder.

“Agh! How could I ever think this suit was a good idea?!” she complained. Ladybug made a mental note about fixing the suit once this was all over. In the meantime, she attempted to reach Rena Rouge again, who had stopped at the end of the block and was dodging several coffee makers.

“Rena, I get that maybe now is not the best time!” Ladybug yelled as she approached her friend. “But I need you to at least work with me on this! And if not, maybe talk to Carapace about—”

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Rena Rouge screamed back, finally turning her attention to her. “DID YOU TAKE AN EXTRA DOSE OF CRAZY TODAY?! HOW DARE YOU INSULT NINO’S MEMORY LIKE THIS?!?!?!”

“Nino’s memory?” Ladybug breathed. There was only one reason anyone would say that phrase. “Nino is dead?”

Rena Rouge scoffed. “I knew you had gone crazy; but mocking my late fiancé?! That is a whole new low, Marinette!”

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[watchoutforthefanfics]

the apple pie life for me (and you) // Dean Winchester x Castiel (SPN)

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration: Cough Syrup - Glee Cast (Cover)

Summary: One minute, Castiel is confessing his love as he sacrifices himself, so Dean can live. The next, Dean is dead, and Castiel's avoiding him in Heaven. Or maybe Dean's avoiding him. Dean has probably never been more confused in his life, feelings for his best friend and all.

TWs: kinda angst, mentioned vomit, very slightly alluded child abuse (john winchester), a little bit of yelling, sort of suicidal thoughts (like yeah, but he's already dead), cursing, crying, low self-worth, mention of self-sacrifice, Dean is bad at feelings (and so is Cas), avoidance, mention of death, and confrontation.

[[A/N: This is a finale fix-it, but with the finale still canon, if you will. Except Dean doesn't like just drive until Sam dies. This actually ripped out my soul and shoved it back in. I felt possessed writing this. Also, let Dean say fuck. Anyway. This shit will fuck you up, but it's a happy ending !!! Anyway, enjoy :))) ]]

Dean doesn't think he wanted to die.

But he's not really sure. And he kinda feels like that's something you should be sure about.

As he cruises along in Baby with no place to go, but also somehow having somewhere in mind, he just keeps thinking about it.

Lots of things, really. Chuck, everyone disappearing, Jack, Sammy back on Earth (he thinks he's always gonna worry about him), and... and Cas.

See that's... that's where his mind hitches.

Because otherwise, after Jack took over, Dean thought things were going pretty good. Great, even. Him and Sammy doing the same thing it all started with. (Sans the Dad thing, probably for the best, but still-)

But, the more he thinks about it now, where there is nothing but the road, Baby, and him... That life, that wasn't what he wanted. He wasn't living how he wanted to. Sure, he wanted Sammy in it, but to say he still wanted to be a hunter?

When he thought about it, it kinda felt like he was still playing the role that Chuck had carved out for him. He knows he had free will then, he knows Chuck wasn't in charge, but he just... That role was comfortable, familiar, and he thinks maybe... both him and Sam just fell right back into it.

And then, there's the just him and Sam thing. It started like that, yeah, and don't get him wrong, he loves Sammy. (It's probably in his bones now, it's so ingrained in his friggin' DNA.) But it wasn't just him and Sammy, not anymore.

So, how can everything be 'goin' good' when you're missing pieces, people?

Like Jody and the girls, Garth and his family, Eileen, Jack and... and Cas.

So, even though, Jack fixed it all, it was still kinda like him and Sam were the only ones on the planet. Alone.

He wasn't happy with what he was doing, he was missing people like hell, and his brain was in near-constant turmoil because... because his best friend was dead. And it wasn't like he tried to stop it, live like how Castiel wanted him to. What he died for.

But he just couldn't. How the hell was he supposed to live happily when Cas was dead? Because of him, of all things.

So, maybe... maybe he did want to die.

Dean doesn't think it's only the Cas... thing, he thinks it's a lot of things (probably). But, he thinks him not being there is really what makes it all so wrong.

He thinks back to when Cas was dead before, when... when all he needed was a "damn win" and he got him back. Everything was so much better, even though shit hadn't been done about Chuck or any of their other problems. He had a damn win.

He's just starting to think that maybe he didn't need a win, maybe he needed Cas.

And maybe that's why the life he lived wasn't what he wanted. Maybe that's why it was so easy to die when he'd been fighting all his life to live freely. Escape whatever goddamn prophecies plagued his life, and live how he wanted to.

Team Free Will, he remarked somewhere in his head.

And yet, the only one living freely was Cas. Sam and Dean, written like damn books, apparently, but Cas?

Chuck said he never followed him, said that he had a "crack in his chassis" (whatever the hell that meant). And he'd even... the turning point for him was Dean. Goddamn "gripping him tight and raising him from perdition".

That was when he'd veered off the path Chuck had built for him, and out of the damn countless universes, this... his Cas was the only one who broke the cycle.

And then, he'd think back to the moment he died for the... for the last time. What he said, and how he said it, and even when Dean tried to twist it to something that wasn't so goddamn scary. He couldn't. Because he had said it clear as day.

And just telling him gave him 'true happiness' (like a damn fairytale). He didn't expect a response, or anything, just telling him. Dean couldn't wrap his head around it at all. Hadn't since the day he said it.

Every time he thought about both of them, Cas's... confession and Chuck's words, he connected the dots. He'd never let himself think about it, but now he had all the time in the world to. It's all he could do.

So, he let himself think it, just this once.

Cas... loving him, that wasn't planned. That was all Cas. This Cas. His Cas.

He maybe even loved him so much that it broke god's will.

How was Dean supposed to handle that? Digest that? When seconds later, Cas was dead. Even now, he couldn't-

There was a house.

To his left, it had been miles of just meadows and fields, and now... now there was a house. A white house, that you sort of just pictured in your head when you imagined a 'family home'. It looked kind of oddly like his house when he was a kid, but also not at all.

It had a white picket fence and a big yard. It had all the works.

The apple pie life, his mind chimed.

Dean paused a moment, wondering if this was someone else's. His eyes peered around it, focusing on the long, empty driveway (the kind that was half dirt and half rocks). And he came up decidedly empty.

He took a breath, and mumbled low (maybe to make sure he could still talk), "'S worth a shot."

Flinching a little at Baby bumping along the rocks, Dean slowly crept up to the house. Eyeing it the whole time, as if it would change when he looked away. Or maybe like it wouldn't feel right halfway up the driveway.

But, he felt the same all the way through.

Dean pursed his lips, staring at the white shingles and the big porch with two rocking chairs -one on either side.

It was two stories, but still small. And it wasn't perfect either, not like out of one of those friggin' house magazines where everything seemed so clean, it was almost scary. There were scuffs and marks, and the grass grew too high right next to the steps.

He took a breath, and stepped out of Baby, throwing the keys around his fingers on instinct. The jingle was the only noise that filled the air then.

It was crazy how much the air smelt the same, felt the same. He could see the wind shift the blades of grass and the branches of the trees, it felt so much like... home.

Even though Dean had never seen this house before in his life, it felt like home.

That... That feeling was new.

He let his eyes surf over the land a second, before catching on a barn -rundown and hidden behind the house. And even though it was, Dean traced the driveway all the way back to it.

Letting himself take one last look at the house, he slowly trailed back to the barn. Feet crushing over rocks and twigs, he truly had never felt more alive. Ironically.

It wasn't the long stretch of road, the slick seats of Baby, or the low hum of the engine. It was the sound of birds, the smell of flowers, and the fresh air. Dean nearly almost bent down to get dirt on his hands just to feel it again, instead of the smooth steering wheel he knew so well.

He didn't though, and instead, approached the barn. Somewhere in his head, it rang familiar. He wasn't sure why or how, but as he walked through the door it just... he knew it.

And as his footsteps echoed through the air, it hit him.

Dean spun around on his feet and looked toward the door, almost on instinct.

He did know this barn. It was where he... where he first met Cas. He remembers it more with all the sigil and black paint everywhere, but looking back at the door, at the lights-

He laughed a little, the dramatic son of a bitch.

Dean cut himself short, watching the doors. Maybe he was expecting something, someone, but he'd never say it out loud. He couldn't, not now.

Cas had been right there.

And there was a part of him that wished he still was.

He took a deep breath through his nose, wondering what exactly he was going to do with it. Or if he was just gonna keep it empty. Because...

He had the spare thought to make it into a kinda garage, build some shelves maybe, fill the walls with parts. He could pull Baby in, shelter her from the rain. If it did rain here. Somehow Dean hoped so. He wanted stuff like rain, snow, the crunching leaves, and the smush of mud under his shoe.

It was weird to say he wanted to feel human in Heaven, but he did.

Because when had he ever felt human? Really?

He wanted that. He wanted a lot of things now that could never have imagined back then. Or didn't think to, he guessed.

Patting one of the wooden walls, Dean made his exit.

His eyes lingered on the backyard for a moment, where the expanse of grass seemed larger, and in the corner, there seemed to be a fenced-off patch of dirt. Maybe for a garden.

He had never thought about having a garden, but he wasn't really against it either.

He looked at for a second, before thinking to himself. Cas would probably like that.

He had that bee thing, and bees like flowers, right? So, maybe he'd offer it to him. Let him have the space. It would be nice having him there, a little piece of him around him every day.

Because he knew that he was tinkering around somewhere, supposedly with Jack. And maybe... maybe it would be nice for him to have a break, a garden.

Dean bit his lip, tapping his foot a moment.

Was that what it was? Was that why you wanted him here, Winchester? Really?

He kept moving forward, steady steps back to the front of the house. For once in his life, there was no rush. He could take his time.

By the time he swung around to the porch, the wind had died down and left only the shining sun in its wake. It felt just like when the sun touched his skin on Earth, maybe even a little better. He liked it the same reason he liked everything else, just being human.

Dean moved up the steps, stairs creaking with every move and his hand drifting across the railing. It was imperfect with bumps and peeling paint, and he had a thought that maybe he could fix it one day. Maybe that's why the house is the way it is, so he could fix it.

Like maybe it had been built like that because he'd always wanted to do it. Fix up a house. Did Cas know that?

His eyes roamed over to the second rocking chair thoughtfully. He kind of had an idea of who he wanted there.

He let his fingers drift over the chair a moment, like maybe if he thought hard enough, he'd be there. Here.

Dean didn't think that he could talk to him, or maybe that he would be comfortable doing so. But that didn't mean he didn't want to friggin' see him, talk to him.

And even though it was scary as hell, he would talk about it if Cas wanted to. He just thinks that the natural progression is his response, and Dean... Dean wasn't sure he had one. Or maybe he had one, but he wasn't sure he could say it.

He was a damn coward.

Pulling open the door, Dean's eyes slunk along the walls. The first thing he saw was a hallway, softly colored walls, and frames along it. Stepping inside, he pulled the door closed behind him (on instinct) and drew his attention to the pictures.

A lot of them, he recognized.

Old pictures of him and Sammy, pictures of his Mom and Dad. But some, he hadn't.

His fingers trailed over a frame. It was him and Cas laughing in the bunker, he'd had no idea it was taken at all. It must've been Sam, but he'd never found the need to show him, apparently.

He had that sort of crinkly smile that he'd get sometimes, and Dean was saying something but he was laughing halfway through it. And Cas was just looking at him like he always did.

Ever since Cas's goodbye, he'd been rethinking everything he knew. Everything.

From the first time he saw him to the last, he'd looked through everything -trying to find it. Trying to see how he'd missed it for so long. And when he did, it was right damn in front of him.

That was probably what he hated this most, that he'd never seen it. Dean had never even thought of the possibility, only once or twice when some dick would make an offhand remark. (Which, when he looked back on it, happened a lot.)

And it has seemed just so far away. Impossible.

Maybe that wasn't because he hadn't... but because he was a broken human (past damn repair) and he was an angel of the Lord.

How could he love me?

And then, there was all that he said. That he believed Dean was so much better than he did. At his very core was love of all things.

"The one thing I want, I know I can't have."

Knows he can't have, it kept ringing through his head. As he wandered up the stairs, maybe even before that, when he was driving, and maybe even before that when it was just him and Sammy ganking bitches.

He didn't tell Sam, and maybe that was the biggest thing. Maybe he felt some guilt, or maybe... maybe he just wanted to keep it to himself. He wasn't sure.

Dean wasn't sure about any goddamn thing at this point.

He took a breath and peeked into the rooms. He didn't want to go fully in them, he wasn't sure why. But one of them, he recognized to be a guest bedroom. It was empty, except for a bed and a dresser -impersonal.

Maybe for Sammy someday.

There was a bathroom on the other wall, he thinks he has two. One downstairs and one up. (Maybe even three, he hasn't looked at his master bedroom yet.) He paused a moment, maybe imagining things on the sink. Imagining a rug he buys one day (do they even buy things? Or does he just think it into existence?). It was domestic, and Dean couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

He trailed down the stairs again, and just to his right, he saw another bathroom -right by the front door. It was empty again, except for the essentials. Toilet, shower, and sink. He didn't waste anymore time.

Across from it was, he guessed, the living room. And he kinda expected the same, just the essentials, maybe some fuzzy throw pillows that Dean would inevitably throw out. Maybe a rug he'd say he didn't like, but he'd keep it anyway.

But it wasn't.

Instead, Dean found something a lot more personal.

It was a big TV with shelves surrounding it filled with movies. And the more he looked at it, the more at it -they were his favorites. And on the wall under the window, there was a cassette player (no cassettes, but they were probably out in Baby) and to its left a mini fridge. Dean chanced a look in it and found his favorite type of beer. And under it, on one of the shelves was an unused record player. Beside both of them, there was one of those containers for vinyls (Dean had friggin' clue what it was called), and it was filled. He didn't have to look to know it was all his favorites.

There were bean bags piled in the corner like he'd have too many visitors for the couch. Or maybe they'd expect him to. Cas would expect him to.

Dean felt like his breath was shot out of his chest. A little like he couldn't friggin' breath.

His Dean-cave.

It was a damn upgrade, yeah, not with concrete floors and stuffy walls. But in essence the very same. Probably the perfect version of it in his head.

God, had Cas remembered that?

Remembered all of it? His favorite fucking songs, favorite movies, favorite shows- Had Cas remembered everything?

It made him want to throw up, or maybe like his heart was squeezed so tight in his chest that he felt like he might die. Again, he guessed.

Wouldn't be the first time.

Dean stared at the room, hand coming to rest on the back of the couch. He swallowed back the bile that was rising in his chest, it felt like his stomach was waves in the damn ocean.

He didn't know whether to cry or throw his guts up. It felt just like after Cas was taken by the Empty.

Like his world was shifting and crumbling all at once.

Dean stepped back a few steps and came up against the wall. His eyes burned.

He ran a hand through his hair, a little frantically, and tried to school the sob that climbed up his throat.

He's alive, he repeated to himself, Cas is fucking alive.

Some other voice chimed back, little and weak, But he's not here, is he?

He took in a deep breath, shaky, and leaned his head back up against the wall. Looking up at the ceiling, Dean thought maybe he felt tears roll down his cheeks.

He wanted to pray, bring him here. But what the hell would he even say?

"Hey buddy, confessing your love and fucking dying after wasn't very fun for me."

"What you did wasn't goddamn fair."

"I know you love me, but I don't understand it. I don't get it."

"How can you love me?"

"I think maybe I love you too."

His breath hitched in his chest.

He clenched his fist onto the wall, pounding it a few times. He heard the frames rattle in their places and felt the wood boards behind it under his hand.

Dean took a deep breath in and wiped at his eyes. Sniffling, he walked forward into the kitchen. Keep moving.

It was the cozy kind of kitchen, not the minimalist crap, with wooden cupboards and imperfect counters. The refrigerator had a few pictures stuck to it, held up by those damn alphabet magnets.

He just somehow knew that was Cas's idea.

And he laughed a little at it, taking one of them in his hands and rubbing his thumb over the shitty plastic.

His eyes smoothed over the space again, and he found something actually on the counter. He wasn't sure how he missed it the first time, but now, there was a slice of apple pie there. Probably the most picturesque one he'd ever seen. Heaven pie.

"Goddamn Heaven pie," he muttered, but he was smiling.

Before he could take a bite, of what he suspected might be the best pie in his life, he heard something.

A dog bark.

Dean nearly ran to the front door, leaving the pie stranded on the counter. Swinging the door open, he nearly stalled in place.

Miracle was there, yeah, and ran up to him a little like he was the only person in the world. It made his heart ache. But there was someone else.

"I've got a delivery," Charlie, his Charlie, smiled -grinned even.

"Charlie," he spoke, a little like it took everything in his chest to. She only smiled brighter.

Dean thought maybe he was crying, and he grabbed her in a hug. One that he thought may have been a little too tight but she didn't complain. She didn't say a word.

He put his chin on top of her head (just like he used to) and felt her hair (still short) under it. He used to do it to remember she was there, it felt like he was missing a fucking limb when he couldn't anymore. He never thought about the fact that maybe he could again one day.

It felt like everything in him was relieved, as if the tension had melted away. Somehow, someway, Charlie was exactly what he needed right now.

God, he hadn't even thought about her.

Well, he had. A lot. He thought about everybody he'd ever lost, that shit weights on your conscience. (Especially her.) But he'd never thought of her being up here, that he could see her again. Give her a goddamn hug-

He sniffled a little and dropped his mouth to kiss her on the forehead. She hugged him back just as tight, and he thought he might’ve heard her sniffle too.

Dean spoke before he could stop it, "I'm sorry."

"Dean, no," she pulled back, but didn't let go of his arms, "-you weren't- That wasn't your fault, you know that."

He was still crying, and maybe his voice was cracking, "I'm still sorry."

Charlie rubbed her hands down his arms for a minute, before changing the topic, "'Heard you took down God."

Dean laughed a little, wiping at his eyes, "Damn straight I did. Me, Sammy, and Jack."

"Would've loved to know him," she smiled -big and bright, "-but he's too busy for me now."

"Probably too busy to see me too," he offered, sniffling, "-if that helps you."

She shrugged, a little knowingly, "I think he'd make time if you asked."

He bit his lip a moment, thoughtfully, "Ya wanna come in?"

"Was waiting for that," she laughed, walking in -her eyes dipping over the walls, before waltzing into the Dean-cave, "-Look at your digs, Winchester! Not bad."

"It fit me?" He asked.

She turned to him then, grinning, "To a T."

He ran his tongue along his teeth, something heavy in his throat, "You know who made it?"

"I do," Charlie passively remarked, as Miracle ran up and jumped on the couch, "-We saw the house pop up a bit ago, not long, and we saw them out here, building it."

"Cas, yeah?" He asked like he didn't already know.

"Yup," she popped the 'p', running up to his shelves and seemingly skimming the titles, "-that and uh... Jack. But, mostly Cas."

She muttered something about 'shit, you have that one?', but Dean's mind was elsewhere.

"Do you," he started asking, swallowing kind of awkwardly, "-Do you see things on Earth? Like um... events, or conversations?"

"Only when we want to," she answered, still busy on the shelves (currently she was on her tippy-toes looking at the top one), "-I've been watching a few conventions over the years. Sometimes I peek in on you, or Sam, or Cas, for that matter. But I'm pretty content here."

Dean fell silent, fidgeting with his hands.

She turned to him, quirking a brow, "Why? Do you want to check in on Sam? It's pretty easy, actually-"

"Before," he started, and Charlie's lips snapped shut, "-Before the whole, uh, Chuck fight and Jack becoming... well, God. Cas died again."

"Shit," she spoke, "-how did he die?"

"Billie, ya know, Death, uh," he cleared as throat, and Charlie's eyes were on him (intently watching), "-she was after us. Me and Cas, and he... he sacrificed himself."

"Damn," she let out, "-have you seen him since Jack-"

"He didn't really... die," Dean kept going, maybe like he couldn't stop (he wanted to tell someone), "-There's this place where, uh, demons and angels go when they 'die'. From what I've heard, it's kinda like a void, an eternal sleep kinda deal."

Charlie pursed her lips a moment, maybe trying to decide if she should speak, "Yeah, I've heard rumors. Never been there of course, but um, yeah."

Dean bit his lip, and took a deep breath in.

"Dean," Charlie slowly stepped toward him, "-are you okay? Do you need to... sit down?"

"He made a deal," he continued, and maybe he wasn't looking at her but he really couldn't, "-Uh, the Empty, or the eternal sleep thing, um... would take him when he was the damn happiest he's ever been."

"And," she paused, laughing a little, "-how was he the happiest he's ever been when you were running from Death?"

Dean didn't say a word, and Charlie promptly cut her laughter short. The silence echoed a moment, and she stepped closer to him again (this was uncharted territory).

"Dean?"

He swallowed, his voice was a little scratchy now and his eyes burned, "He... He started this speech about- about me, and how good I was. That I wasn't just anger or... or hate like I thought. I was love, I raised Sammy for... for love, and do what I do, like stop the goddamn apocalypse, for love. That I was... the most selfless person he'd ever known-"

Charlie stayed quiet.

"-And he's lived millenniums," Dean laughed a little and it was wet (and maybe he was crying), "-I mean, how can that... how can that be true?"

"Dean," she leveled in a steady voice.

"And he just kept going," he laughed again, and he wiped at his eyes, "-and I couldn't say a goddamn word."

"Dean."

"And after all that," he felt a sob crawl up his throat, it shattered through his chest, "-after all that he told me he loved me. And just saying it, fucking telling me- That made him the happiest he's ever been."

Charlie's eyes were shiny, and she was looking at him a little like he would shatter at any second. But she didn't say a word.

"He said," he swallowed, his breaths shaky, "-He said that the one thing he wanted he couldn't have but I..."

He let himself say it, this once.

"Charlie, I-" he looked at her then, and she was frowning, her eyes were teary, "-I think he can have it. I think he-"

Dean took a breath, it shook through his lungs and laughed again -wiping at his eyes (like he wouldn't be crying if they didn't fall).

"-I think he's always damn had it."

There was silence then, and Dean didn't feel like he had anything else to say. Or maybe that he could say anything else. It felt like his soul had been ripped out of his chest-

Charlie seemed to take a minute to make sure, tediously stepping forward.

But when she realized he was, she pulled him into a hug again. This time though, she stood on her tippy-toes and pulled his head to her shoulder. Her hand cradling the back of his head, Dean followed her lead.

He took a breath in, that was just so Charlie, his Charlie, and it made his eyes fog up again.

She held him there a while, even though it couldn't have been comfortable. He knew that, but he couldn't be the one to pull away. Halfway because it was so long since he'd seen her, and halfway because he couldn't remember the last time he was held like this. Cared for like this.

"Did you," she started, slow and careful (gentle), "-Have you told anyone about this?"

"No, I... I died with it," he breathed out, "-I just... I couldn't tell Sammy-"

"Dean, hey," Charlie shooshed him, before joking lightly, "-that's okay. It just... It seemed like it was a little pent up."

Dean laughed a little, and she seemed to be happy about that.

"It was," he echoed out in the silence, "-I didn't... I didn't tell anyone."

"Well," she hummed, pushing her chin onto his shoulder, "-thank you for telling me."

Something in his chest softened.

"I think that's..." she spoke, gently, "-I think that's big for you. All of this is... is big for you."

There was a beat.

"You're doing your best, Dean," she soothed, squeezing him a little tighter, "-And maybe you didn't tell Sam, or tell Cas, but you did what you could. Everyone has their limits."

He let out a breath, less shaky this time, and dug himself further into her shoulder.

"That's nothing-" her hand rubbed against his back, "-That's nothing to be ashamed of."

He let the words sink into his skin.

"And quite frankly," Charlie quipped, "-your limit is way past mine. So, I can't judge."

Dean laughed again, and he could nearly feel her smile.

Thoughtfully keeping himself there for just a little longer, before pulling back. Sniffling and wiping at his eyes, Charlie stayed very close by, just in place for another hug.

"We good?" She questioned, a little playfully but on the same note, very serious.

"Yeah, yeah, we're uh-" he chuckled out, "-we're good."

"Can I..." she paused a moment, "-If you're not comfortable, don't answer it. But, is this your first... guy thing?"

Dean froze a little.

"You don't have to answer," she quickly added, "-at all. No pressure."

It's Charlie.

He ran his hand along his jaw, before rumbling out, "Kinda. I... When I was a kid, I knew, and maybe I even acted on it a little, but Dad..."

Charlie hummed in understanding, "He found out?"

"Yeah, uh," he spoke, suddenly awkward, "-I don't... I've never known how he figured it out. Or maybe he just... assumed, but he... yeah."

It was unspoken, and she seemed to understand.

"God," she asserted, maybe a little incredulously, "-he should really not be here."

Dean laughed a little, but something was heavy in his chest, "I don't know if I'd visit either of them anyway. Even without... this."

Charlie pursed her lips, "And you don't have to. It's your Heaven. If they... If they try to talk to you, let me know. I'll get a crew."

"A crew?"

"There's enough of us," she shrugged, "-He's an old man anyway, I'm sure I could take him."

He laughed a little again, "You'd be surprised."

She looked at him a moment like maybe that spoke louder than anything else he said. She squeezed his shoulder once, but gratefully, didn't say anything.

"And can I clarify something?"

Dean hummed.

"When Castiel..." she didn't say it, "-Did you not have time? Or were you just... scared?"

"A little bit of both," he answered, fingers tapping along the table by the couch, "-He said it, told me goodbye, and... and adios."

"But you wouldn't have told him? If you got the chance?" She asked, genuinely.

"I don't..." he sighed out, "-I don't know. I think, in the moment, I was just overwhelmed by it all. In-between how he talked about me, and how he... I barely processed a word before he was gone."

Charlie just looked at him.

"I sat there for a while before it-" he moved over to Miracle, petting him, "-it, uh, kicked in."

"And you-" she responded, a little slowly, "-you haven't seen him since then?"

"Well, I... I just got here," he explained, picking up Miracle's ear between his fingers, "-and I didn't even know he'd gotten out. Until... Until Bobby told me."

"Huh," she commented, sitting beside Miracle, "-Do you think he'd come? If you asked?"

Dean rolled the thought around in his mind, "I don't know, he kinda wanted me to live a lot longer than I did."

"How did you die?"

"On a hunt," he answered, simply.

"Shit," she muttered, "-What took you out?"

"Piece of rebar," he offered, wandering back around toward the shelf, "-Monster of the week threw me against a wall, right into it."

"That's..."

"Sammy was gonna call an ambulance, but I..." he echoed out, "-I told him no. I think- I think I wanted to die."

Charlie didn't speak for a moment, processing it, "Because of... Cas?"

"Yeah, mostly," Dean admitted, "-I, uh, realized it all when I got here. Drove Baby for a while and just... Just started thinking."

"About everything?"

"Yeah, uh," he hummed out, brushing his hand over Miracle's fur, "-everything. I wasn't happy there. Wasn't living the life I wanted, and I don't think I could have. Not without Cas."

She paused a second, "Do you think you'll be happy here?"

"It's Heaven," he laughed, not really looking at her, "-I kinda have to be, right?"

"Well," she countered, speaking a little carefully, "-Dean, you still don't have Cas."

Dean's hand froze in place.

"If you weren't happy without him then," she continued, thoughtfully, "-how are you going to be happy without him now?"

"He was dead," he spoke -defensively, "-He's alive now. I can... I can live with that."

"Dean," Charlie reiterated, low and gentle, "-will you be happy?"

"I've handled worse," he argued, but something in his chest was twisting.

She looked at him then, eyes steady on his, "But you don't have to."

He swallowed, repeating, "But I can."

She stood up then, coming right in front of him, and Dean nearly shrunk in place.

"Dean, he... he loves you," Charlie spoke, barely a whisper, "-and I think, somewhere in that thick skull of yours, you love him too."

He gnawed at his lip, "What's that gotta do with anything?"

"It's... everything, Dean," she laughed, a little in disbelief, "-It's got to do with everything. You deserve to be happy."

He took a deep breath through his nose.

"Isn't that what Castiel wanted?" she pointed out, "-For you to be happy?"

"Apparently not," he retorted, a little bitterly, "-how could I be happy when he's dead?"

"Maybe-" Charlie paused, cogs turning in her head, "-You said that he had to be the happiest he's ever been right?"

"Yeah," he replied, trying to follow.

"How could he be the happiest he's ever been if he knew he was causing you pain?"

Dean swallowed, his stomach twisting, "You think..."

"Dean, look I could be wrong," she clarified, "-but I don't think he thought you'd care. If... If he was the happiest he's ever been, and he loved you, he would never be able to cause you pain, or think he would, and still get taken."

He was speechless, something climbing up his throat.

"If he thought you weren't going to be happy," she finished like she'd had a major breakthrough, "-he... he couldn't have been taken."

"He..." Dean faltered to a stop, "-You really think he thought I wouldn't care?"

Charlie pursed her lips together, "I don't know how else it could've worked."

Dean felt like his whole body was on fire, like he was burning alive. Cas didn't know he cared? How the hell didn't he know that?

God, he cared so damn much, and he didn't even know?

He tried to think back to every time he'd lost Cas, all the grief. Dean realized he'd never seen that, he didn't see everytime he lost his goddamn mind because he was gone. For all he knew, everything was hunky-fucking-dory. He's just always thought he knew.

God, he didn't know?

She approached him then, holding his arms, "Dean, I know it's scary, believe me, I know-"

He just looked at her, words stuck in his throat. It felt like he could say everything and nothing at all. Like he was feeling everything and nothing at the same time.

"But he deserves to know," she finished.

Dean took a second, before saying, "Yeah, yeah, he does."

Charlie smiled at him, patting his arms, "You should talk to him, like... as soon as possible."

"Through what? Prayer?"

"Well, yeah," she laughed a little as if it was obvious.

"How do I know..." he exhaled, "-How do I know he'll come?"

"Dean," she assured, "-he loves you."

"Yeah, but what if he's-" he paused, "-what if he's avoiding me?"

"Dean," she repeated, "-he loves you."

"How does that-"

"That doesn't just stop," she interrupted him, "-It's not like if he gets uncomfortable, he'll just stop loving you. It's bigger than everything, if you ask him to, he'll come."

"But-" he tried.

"I know it," she continued, "-and when have I ever been wrong?"

Dean laughed a little.

"Actually, don't answer that," she laughed, "-Just, just trust me. He built this whole Heaven for you, didn't he?"

He responded, simply, "He did."

"He'll come," she repeated, "-You just have to ask, Winchester."

She'd left not long after that, with one solid hug (he didn't think he'd every stop hugging her, ever) and a promise to "tell me all the deets, including the juicy stuff".

Dean wasn't sure how to handle that.

He didn't do it immediately. He sat down and ate the pie first, which was the friggin' best one he'd ever had (he wondered if it always tasted like that up here). Then, he spent the next few hours going through his collection. He even popped in a cassette from Baby, had a few in-home concerts, and just sat with Miracle for a while (Dean thought that he might've known he wasn't doing something he was supposed to, he had a serious bitch face). And then it was night.

So, he went to bed.

He'll be honest, it happened a few times. Days happened (if that was a thing in Heaven).

It wasn't like he wasn't trying. He did, just every time he tried... He was just a damn coward. Kept saying, "I'll do it tomorrow." And it had very much already been tomorrow. A few of them, actually.

Part of him was kinda waiting to see if he'd just... show up like he used to. But, if he'd confessed his, what he believed to be, unrequited love to his best friend... he'd probably avoid him at all costs too. (He kinda already was.)

Today, though, was different.

Dean woke up, got his coffee, and instead of sitting down at the table and staring out the window (usually watching Miracle run around the yard), he went to the hallway. Couldn't tell you why, if you asked. But he just did.

And he stopped at the same picture, the one of him and Cas laughing. His eyes roamed over the crinkled smile, maybe a little differently now. An ache settled in his chest, like maybe he was missing a limb. Every morning he woke up, something was missing.

And sure, yeah, part of that was Sammy. But the other part...

His eyes smoothed over him again, and he just had the overwhelming urge for him to be there. And the thought ran through his mind again that he didn't know that he mattered. Cas was just living (relatively) with the knowledge that Dean didn't care, as if it was the truth.

With a breath, he decided today was the day.

He had given himself time, gotten dressed, sat out on the front porch (it was raining today, he found it kinda calming), and just readying himself.

Now, he was pacing in the kitchen.

"Cas, buddy," he tried like he was running through lines, "-No. Why would I call him buddy? That defeats the whole goddamn purpose."

He sighed, pinching his nose between his fingers, before trying again.

"Cas," he started, trying to think, "-that day. You knew I- Well, you thought you knew I-"

He dragged his palm down his face, groaning. How the hell was he going to do this?

"Fuck it," he decided, he was never going to get it right, "-let's wing it."

Dean let out a big long breath, shaking his hands as if to ready himself. And he really needed to do so.

He deserves to know, he deserves to know, he deserves to know-

"You can do this, Winchester," he mumbled to himself, "-You killed God, what's a damn love confession?"

Love, love, love, chimed through his head.

His stomach churned, but he stayed focused -eyes squeezed shut. Taking a few deep breaths, he stayed silent for a while. Maybe thinking a little too hard in his head, but at this point, there was no use in fighting it.

He deserves to know, he deserves to know, he deserves to know-

Dean let out a shaky breath, and opened his mouth -words slow and particular, "Cas, I don't know if you can hear me or if you're busy-"

Before he could finish another word, a voice called out from behind him.

"Dean," his voice was measured with a sort of lilt (maybe concern).

"Goddammit, Cas," he jumped, flinching, but turning to the angel on instinct, "-you gotta stop doing that."

He skimmed over him a second like he couldn't believe he was real. But he was, and he was standing right in front of him. Before he could say another word though, Cas started searching over him -quickly.

He lifted his arm (grabbing him by the wrist, Dean's brain froze a little), looking for an injury maybe, "Are you alright?"

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

"What? Yeah," he blinked the haze out of his eyes, "-yeah, I'm fine, Cas. I'm in Heaven, what could hurt me?"

He furrowed his eyebrows in the way he always did and seemed to take him in a second. Blue eyes looked him over, maybe trying to tell if he was lying or not. (He probably could, if he was.) The way that he looked at him so intently always made him want to squirm, or run away, or make some odd comment.

It was a little relieving to see it now though.

"It's good to see you," Dean spoke without thinking about it. It was the first thing he thought of.

And it was, Cas being here felt like that missing piece was back in place. Perfectly slotted. It was kinda clouding his judgment.

Cas did the head tilt thing that he always did (and Dean let himself think for the first time that it was cute), eyebrows furrowing together. Even if Dean didn't know him well enough, he would've known he was confused.

"It's good to see you too, Dean," he finally spoke, cautiously but still so damn genuine, "-Although, I do wish we met in different circumstances."

Dean laughed a little, and the silence felt like he was being swallowed whole. But he just couldn't open his mouth.

"Dean?" He still said it exactly the same as he did the first day he met him. It made his head spin a little.

He looked at him, wordlessly.

"Why am I... here?"

Dean pushed his lips together, kind of deflecting, "When did you get out?"

Cas looked at him, maybe a little guiltily but still very sound, "Jack got me out... as soon as he had the power to."

"So, what-" he stated, trying to clarify, "-uh, right after Chuck was taken care of? When he snapped everybody back into existence?"

"Yes," Cas answered, "-After he left the two of you, he spoke to the Empty and got me out. It apparently wasn't easy, but..."

Dean but at his lip a little, looking to the ground a second, "So... So, all those weeks I was on Earth, you were out? Alive?"

Cas was just staring at him, mouth pressed into a thin line. Dean saw something shift through his eyes that couldn't really understand.

"And you-" he continued, now a little frustrated, "-you what, you didn't think to at least tell me that?"

"Dean-"

"No, no," he interrupted, "-I thought you were dead, Cas. Gone. And you just didn't want to tell me?"

"That's not," he let out a big long sigh, "-That's not the case, Dean."

"Sure as hell looks like it," he scoffed, and maybe he was frustrated but he couldn't find it in himself to be angry. Not anymore.

"I thought," Cas cleared his throat, maybe a little awkwardly, "-I thought you wouldn't want to see me."

"Why wouldn't I want to see you?" Dean asked, incredulously.

"The last..." he echoed out, like he didn't want to say the wrong thing, "-The last meeting we had wasn't preferable to you. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable."

He rolled around the thought in his head a second, and all he got was resounding defiance, but he couldn't quite say that yet. His head just kept pounding.

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

"Did you-" he started again, searching for answers, "-After the Empty, did you think I was happy?"

Cas looked at him a second, before swinging his eyes to his sleeve almost instinctively (where the bloody handprint would've been), "Not happy necessarily."

"But your damn deal, or whatever," Dean waved his hand dismissively, "-you had to be happy. Completely happy."

"Yes," he answered, inquisitively, "-What is this about, Dean?"

"Cas," he responded, his voice a little shaky (he could see his eyes hitch on it), "-did you think I would care? That I wouldn’t give a damn if you died?"

He pressed his lips together and didn't say a word. Dean thought it was the most telling thing in the world.

His lungs felt like they were tied with rope -he couldn't get a good breath in. Like he was suffocating-

"Really?"

"You looked-" Cas tried to defend himself, "-You looked happy, Dean."

"Yeah," he explained, as if it was obvious, "-because you wanted me to be. And I was trying. For you."

He didn't respond.

"Because what good was a damn sacrifice if I didn't try?"

Cas opened his mouth, but nothing came out. Even though it looked like he was trying, maybe even trying to understand what Dean was expressing. Like he couldn't see it, or didn't believe it.

God, he really doesn't know how much I care?

He posed another question, wringing his hands, "Do you know how I died, Cas?"

"Of course I do, Dean."

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

"I've had a lot of time to do some thinking," Dean continued, walking a little in place, "-and I think... No, I know that I did it on purpose."

"Don't say that," Cas spoke, voice heavy with something.

"Sammy wanted to call an ambulance," he continued, looking down at his hands and still walking, "-and I didn't let him."

"And you think-" something smoothed over in his eyes, "-you think you could've survived?"

"Maybe," he offered, "-I guess I don't know, but I... Cas, I didn't try. I didn't fight it. I spent my whole life fighting it, and when it mattered most, I didn't damn fight it."

Cas's face fell a little, some sort of understanding in his eyes, agreement even. It rattled through Dean's bones, and made it a little hard to stand a moment.

"I never thought that I could leave Sammy alone," he continued, and one of his hands racked through his hair, "-I was scared shitless to. But it was so easy to just give up. I wasn't... I wasn't living, Cas. Despite whatever you think in that angel head of yours, I was not damn happy."

Cas just looked at him, eyes flicking between his, trying to understand. He took a second, before replying, "I'm sorry, Dean. I would never want to cause you so much pain."

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

Dean's heart was pounding in his chest. He felt for a second that maybe it would burst through his ribcage like it did in cartoons. It felt damn powerful enough.

His breath caught in his throat, and he felt the urge for to say it. It was on the very tip of his tongue.

"I know, Cas," he deflected (something in his chests stung, coward), "-I know."

Cas just looked at him then, scanning over his face. He could tell there was something else, he looked right into his damn soul every time he looked at him, and there was something else. Dean waited a second, to see if he'd say anything, but he was hit with a resounding no.

Maybe he thought he'd already said enough. Too much maybe. Dean didn't know if he agreed with him or not.

"Cas, I-" he spoke, maybe a little quietly, "-I can't be happy without you. You gotta know that."

He was looking at him more intensely now, still trying to understand it all. Like maybe he couldn't imagine what Dean was trying to say. Or maybe like he couldn't even fathom it.

I love him, I love him, I love him-

"I know you didn't-" he cleared his throat, eyes flickering away (he couldn't look at him right now), "-I know you didn't see me. When you, uh, died, any of the times. But I- I gotta tell ya, I was far from happy."

Cas didn't interrupt him, he just kept looking. Staring. Like every word he said was important.

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

He just kept talking, at this point he could stop (his eyes burned), "I kept your goddamn trenchcoat in Baby the whole time you were..."

He thought maybe for a second he was working himself up, but he couldn't stop now.

"And when Lucifer stabbed you," he pressed his lips together, and swallowed, "-I gave you a hunter's funeral and... and watched your body burn up into flames."

"Dean," Cas spoke, he could maybe see the edge he was teetering on. Maybe he could see that he was going to cry, and that was new. Maybe he was trying to soothe-

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

"And then, when the Empty got you," Dean's voice shook a little, "-I stayed there, for a... a while and cried, probably the most I ever have in my life-"

Cas flinched, maybe a little guiltily, "Dean."

"-I couldn't even answer Sam's damn phone call."

He was holding out his hands now, a little like how cops did, in those shows, when the perpetrator had a weapon or was threatening his own life. Cautious, careful. A little like he'd explode. Voice careful and measured, "Dean, I didn't know-"

"I know that, Cas," he interrupted, maybe a little defensively but he couldn't help it, "-I've been beating myself up about it since I realized that I never made it goddamn clear to you that I cared."

"Don't," Cas replied, a little pained, "-There's no need for that, Dean."

"For what? The fact that I didn't- That you didn't-" his words stuttered in his chest, and he just couldn't speak.

"I know now," he tried to soothe, and Dean's head was pounding, "-I know now that you... care. I know."

Care, care, care.

Love, love, love.

I love him, I love him, I love him-

It felt like his heart was in his throat, like everything was waiting to be said. Like it was right there, and he was so close.

"Is that what you wanted to talk about, Dean?"

All he could hear was his heartbeat in his chest, pounding, pounding, pounding-

I love him, I love him, I love him-

God, he didn't want him to leave.

This house was his too, he could just feel it in the walls. There was something missing, there was always something missing. Even when he was alive-

"Dean?"

How long had he wanted this? Wanted more?

I love him, I love him, I love him-

"Dean."

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

"Dean, are you alright?"

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

I love him, I love him, I love him-

"Dean," his hands were on his shoulders now (just like before-), "-can you hear me?"

Pounding, pounding, pounding.

I love him, I love him, I love him-

Pounding, pounding, pounding.

I love him, I love him, I love him-

Pounding, pounding, pounding.

"Dean!"

I love him, I love him, I love him-

"Shit, Cas, you can have it!"

Cas looked startled for a moment, but he didn't step away, he didn't let go. Dean's stomach twisted. "What are you-"

"Back, back before the Empty... you said-"

Cas just stared at him, it made Dean want to stop but he couldn't stop-

"-you said, 'The one thing I want, I know I can't have'-"

He just kept talking, and Cas kept staring -something shining in his eyes. Dean thought he knew what.

"-and I'm pretty damn sure that thing was me-"

Cas was looking at him the way he always did, and Dean recognized it for what it was now.

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

"-You can have it, Cas," he was speaking softer now, a little out of breath, "-You've... You've always had it. Had... Had me."

Cas was just staring a little in disbelief, dropping his hands, and stepping back a little (it made Dean's heart sting).

I love him, I love him, I love him-

"You don't-" he shook his head, not quite looking at him, "-You don't know what you're saying."

"I'm pretty damn sure I do," he responded, a little biting but there was just so much. It couldn't come out any other way.

Cas stared at him like he was trying to find the confusion, the lie, but he was coming up empty-handed. Wonder why the fuck that is.

"Goddammit, Cas," he pushed his palms into his eyes, "-are you gonna make me say it?"

"Say what?" He asked, like it wasn't obvious. Like he couldn't fathom it. It made Dean's hands shake, and his throat clog up.

He loves me, he loves me, he loves me-

"Damn it, I love you too!"

The silence that filled the room was suffocating, but Dean just needed to breathe-

"And I can't be happy without you," he spoke, eyes still behind his hands (he couldn't look), "-and I want you to goddamn stay for once."

There was another beat.

"With me," and he thought he may have sounded a little pathetic, but he was very much past that point already.

And there was no one here who would ever judge him. Cas would never judge him and he knew that. He knew that like he knew that the sun rises in the morning and falls at night. Cas would never.

Before he knew what was happening, he felt hands pulling back his own -calloused fingertips against his own. Dean's breath hitched in his chest.

He loves me? He loves me? He loves me?

Cas was close now, and before he fully let go, he kept his hands on his face -cradling. And at first Dean thought he might kiss him (which he wasn't sure how to feel about), but he just kept them there.

He was looking at him like he always does (with love) and holding him a little like he was precious maybe, to him. Dean still couldn't understand that, but he thought one day he might be able to. That Cas might help him to.

"Okay, Dean," he spoke, gentle after a long sort of silence, "-I'll stay."

I love him.

He loves me.

[bobwess]

AMA (Down to Agincourt addition) I am once again bored, so here are some more (aka many) questions. As that anon from last year who asked for the elevator pitch, I am so glad I did and gave DtA another shot!!! When did you first start reading it?

When did you first realize how hooked you where with DtA? Was it from moment one? Was there a spesific scene?

Fav of the original side characters?

Fav the original main characters?

Coolest concept that DtA introduced into the SPN world?

If there could be a in-depth prequel written for any of the characters, who's past would you be the most interested in exploring?

If you had to, what would you ranking be of the books?

How many times have you read it all the way through?

What bit of foreshadowing (if any) did you miss the first time around that really jumped out at you on a reread?

Did reading DtA help inspire your own The End fic?

What of the many burning questions currently unanswered do you want answered first?

What's the most interesting non-SPN related fact that DtA taught you?

If normal SPN team free will read/watch/found out about the DtA what do you think their reactions would be?

What's a scene/interaction that still scratches the brain itch?

Have you read The Forever King spin-off series? If so, what are your thoughts?

Yes!! Muahahahaha. Changing the order a bit.

Coolest concept that DtA introduced into the SPN world?

The Winchester House, everything about it, and its entire relationship to Nate. 

The complex rules and magical constraints/potential of metaphysical contamination.

Honorable mention: Lucifer’s plans with the Gods.

But also actually: The Winchester House.

What bit of foreshadowing (if any) did you miss the first time around that really jumped out at you on a reread?

(spoilers) 

The set up for the church paradox. 

Cas, post fall, fever dream, almost dying locked in that cabin bedroom, the unnamed goddess calling him in spirit yet somehow physically into that Church.

Dean, post infection, fever dream, almost dying locked in that cabin bedroom, Cas accidentally calling him in spirit yet somehow physically into that Church. 

All of time and space converging. Dean is the impossible, he was never supposed to be in this universe, Cas accidentally binding them together with those sigils, allowing Cas to connect with Dean in the first place, and also making Dean invisible to Lucifer while he’s physically in that cabin, which he technically is, thus allowing him to shield Lia and thus her able to get him into that church where he and Cas manage to do something and erase the kids' (and both of their) minds. 

There is so much meat there, and every time you re-read there is more. There is so much cool foreshadowing with ALL the players involved, and I literally put together another thread in that during EVERY read-through. 

Someone once asked me my thoughts on what we know happened in the church and it got to 19 pages in google before I had to cut it off pending another re-read of book 4. 

Fav of the original side characters?

I can not separate Nate and the Winchester House, so--

Fav the original main characters?

Vera by a slim margin over Joe.

When did you first start reading it?

It’s hard to remember just because the last three years are a fuzzy mess, but I’m pretty sure I started reading it late 2021/early 2022. I am a fast reader so I demolished it VERY fast. 

When did you first realize how hooked you where with DtA? Was it from moment one? Was there a specific scene? 

After Cas and Dean started properly working together in book 1 I was pretty on board, but once they told Chuck and started their trips into Kansas City, that was when it really settled in and I knew I was about to read the entire thing.

If there could be a in-depth prequel written for any of the characters, who's past would you be the most interested in exploring?

Joe or Teresa. Honestly though I’d really like to see the case Dean worked down by the border. 

If you had to, what would you ranking be of the books?

This is a slim AF margin too, because they’re all so good. But I think it’d be 3,1,4,2 So “A Thousand Lights in Space” “Map of the World” “Game of God” “It’s the Stars That Lie” But it's real neck and neck for the last three.

How many times have you read it all the way through?

Books one and two I have read cover to cover 6 or 7 times, three I probably read a couple more. Book four I’ve actually only read completely cover to cover once, but I have read a lot of it out of order a couple more times. I’m trying to get my fics to a bit more of a stable point so I can re-read it again in case I go off the rails hyper-fixation on it again. I’ll probably read it twice in a row when I read it this next time.

Did reading DtA help inspire your own The End fic?

No, it hindered it greatly. The world building in DtA is very contrary to the plot I have for my endverse fic, and it took a while for my brain to reset and be like “Nope, this is what I’m doing, put that out of your mind.” If I hadn’t read DtA, you’d already have my Endverse fic, because I started writing it before reading that, and had to stop work for straight up like a year. 

What of the many burning questions currently unanswered do you want answered first?

WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED INSIDE THE DAMN CHURCH!?!?!?

What's the most interesting non-SPN related fact that DtA taught you?

Graphene and everything about it.

If normal SPN team free will read/watch/found out about the DtA what do you think their reactions would be?

I think none of them would have any idea what to do with it. Cas would therefore not have much outward expression, Sam would be incredibly awkward and only a little insulted he isn’t in it, and Dean would be 10/10 defensive AF. 

What's a scene/interaction that still scratches the brain itch?

The Winchester Hou- Cas accidentally calling Dean when he’s using Allison as a conduit for the kids in Ichabod, and subsequently their interactions after Cas figures out what happened. 

Close seconds are Cas and Dean’s interaction after Dean gets bit in the courtyard, Cas searching Kansas City with his mind after Dean touched The Ick™. 

And yes actually the retelling of Nate’s interactions with The Winchester House.

Have you read The Forever King spin-off series? If so, what are your thoughts?

I have not read it yet, I must at some point. I know I’ll like it.

-

Also I'm glad my pitch worked and you ended up giving it another go!!

[marleysfinest]

Oh, Muvva, I hope I'm not too late for the festivities! You deserve nothing but the best in light of such a stupendous tumblr milestone! 🥰🥰🥰

Now as to the shoutouts! Apologies on the length, I got a lot of love to get off my chest

@strawberrystepmom: Kendy, you are one of the kindest, sweetest, most gorgeous girly pops I have had the pleasure of interacting with!💖💖💖 Your daily messages and OOTDs always brighten my day, Pip is an adorable little man, and your anecdotes of Suguru and the Meow Meow Mansion are such a treat!

@quiveringdeer Nat, you queen among queens!🧡🧡🧡 You and Kendy both inspired me to take the plunge and make a tumblr! You're so nice and encouraging, I love hearing about your work with nature and seeing all your gorgeous paintings and crafts!

@shaanks Av, you beautiful tropical red-hairloving fish! 💕🐠 Your compassion knows no bounds, I love getting to chat with you about One Piece and movies and how our days have been going. I already liked Shanks before we met, but you've made me love him even more!

@majesticenbypancake Jaaaae, if I could carry you around with me in my pocket all day like a little gerbil and offer you biscuits to eat, I would! 😭💜💜💜 You light up my DMs with your jokes and stories and exquisite cosplays, and I have wept tears of both joy and agony from all the wonderful Killer songs you've sent me!

@mjrtaurus My fellow Crocodile enthusiast!!!! 🐊💕💕💕 Did you know that I giggle and kick my feet whenever I see you in my inbox? You have one of the best grasps of Crocodile's character and you're incredibly sweet!

@inzendino Whether it's Devil Fruit switch-ups, facts about other franchises, little What Ifs?, or fun prompts, you always keep my ask box supplied with some real gems and I thank you so very much for that! 🥰🥰🥰

@lycanthropemaul Maul, I hope you know that every time I see a ferret, a vintage plushie, a vintage plushie of a ferret, or Garfield, I think of you! You're so kind and gentle and I love talking critters with ya! And ofc the Pop and Punk pics! 🥹🥹🥹 Man, I wish tumblr had a ferret emoji

@preciousgaby Cross Guild lovers all the way!!! 💙💛💚 Ping-ponging ideas about these old men and their growing family with you brings me truckloads upon truckloads of serotonin!

@erwinswings You are one of the most knowledgeable herpetologists I know, on top of having some awesome OCs (shout-out to Fox and his legions of geckos!🦎🦎🦎🦎🦎🦎) and I always look forward to Zeke pics on my dash!

@quinloki On top of having some of the best Kid Pirate takes I've ever seen, you're such a kind soul and the fact that we are moots is something I'm incredibly grateful for. Also the puns. The PUNS! 👏👏👏

@swampstew RAVEEEEEN! Your versions of the Kid Pirates are sublime and funny and they have me barking like a wound-up terrier omg they so foine! 🥵🥵🥵 Rowena is the most badass witch to ever witch, KillerCook is delectable in every sense of the word, and I always look forward to watching the Kid shrine grow

@icy-spicy How does it feel to have the honor of #1 Shriek stan? 🦇🦇🦇 Getting to have the filthiest thoughts about Killer and Beckman and so many other fictional men with you is a dream come truuuuue!

And that's barely even half of all the friends and moots that I cherish so very much, but I know this ask is already running long. 😅

Happy 500, Muvva! Mwahmwahmwah! 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘

cas u are never too late to share the luv!! 💓💓💓

spread the love with muvva’s feel good 500!

[sotogalmo]

12:53

I've been reading some stuff (yes I take screenshots of some interactions, I think what others can make is very beautiful), and I've gotten to the part where @apriciticreveries & @rockwgooglyeyes have been talking about Nyx and Asa being related (with Cinna & Cas ( @lookatmysillies ) related as well).

And well, it got me thinking for Flor. Since, in all honesty her design for her stage outfit has her with her tummy out and I've added a lot of stretch marks there, while normally people would have stretch marks nearly almost everywhere? Arms, thighs and such. But I think I added too much on Flor's tummy, and so I think the only way to explain that is that maybe Flor was also bred?

I can actually see it happening, and with the song of The Court Jester "a new found memory after rest", can be about the fact that after a long while of repressing the thought/memory of ever being pregnant (she's scared of pregnancy, and all of that) . I think it would just explain some of her behavior and looks???

And I mean, I don't think it would be too far off for her to actually be bred as sad as that sounds. One of her siblings (which, all of Flor's siblings are based on my actual siblings in real life- along with her Guardian actually being inspired by my own mom), has two kids which Flor likes being around! Flor held both of them when they were born, and when she was able too. And after all of that, she's like- gotten a higher 'baby fever' even though it's weirdly mixed with the fact that she doesn't like them as well (and how she's somewhat jealous? That they can be free and innocent before it's too late).

Flor's guardian is a “““traditional””” woman if that explains it a bit. She did make comments before on how Flor was to end up in love with a man, and have kids (to which, Flor was just confused on because now she's dating THE Rosca. So like. There's that). I don't really know how to make sense of it, but I think this kinda does explain it well??? Anyways- (something for my BIG ASS POST explaining every damn character and symbolism I have for Flor. I'm done with Spaceboy's, and I'm almost done with Carlos's so take this)

*But, maybe, she can also connect with him by the fact that they would both have a biological child of theirs. Larakiraboshinogotokuamuuru for Carlos, and Lorashishiboaninisshu (Flor comes up with weird names for her kid(s),,) for Flor. I think can explain why she even has stretch marks on her stomach area! She mainly has them on her inner thighs, but it's weird that she also has them around her stomach area… and I think her being a parent would explain it well. But quite sadly <- but for this, she's a bit unaware of that. She represses A Lot, and having a child would affect her mental state so she has sought to forget (but she is a caring mom! She likes kids! One of her siblings (based on my actual siblings), has her own kids and Flor really enjoys being around them even if she's somewhat jealous of how innocent they are and such).

*But : all of this is taken from my doc, on which I'm explaining why I went with characters that make up Flor! This is a part of her connections with Carlos Marlon (Gluttony arc) from Evillious Chronicles!

I just think that this idea is actually so interesting,,, hell I've been thinking that maybe Hyuna could be one of Flor's kids but like a descendants of sorts.

Wait! Maybe!! Sebastian (Alnst OC- his og name is unknown, but he was named Sebastian by his guardian) can be one of Flor's kids, by the fact of his whole clown aesthetic which I guess can be inherited in some way. But I dunnoooo tbh.

This idea is actually just so interesting, and would kinda work well with Flor's character..... (Which, if you want an age for her when she was bred and such; probably around 13-ish? At least 15 I would think though)

Flor is just now; "despite the horrors I stay silly". In a nutshell

(Flor, Cas 🤝 Nyx: having biological children (for Cas & Nyx it's against their will, Flor semi consented to the idea but thought it was a joke). The Emperor (Cas) The King (Nyx) and The Jester (Flor)!!!!!)

[mi6-cafe]

It's Appreciation August!

We’re exhausted, you’re exhausted, Fest is done. We know you all are wrapping up masterposts and excitedly waiting for the the final HQ memo, so this month, we are just asking you to appreciate the fandom!

This month, we want you to continue your excellent commenting and reblogging. There's so much goodness in the Fest tag that everyone created. Throughout the month, we will be posting the recs and shout outs that you all put in the Fest Wrap-Up survey. We want to keep this celebration of Bond going.

Speaking of the survey...

Fest Wrap-Up Survey

We really enjoyed this new Fest format (inspired by your feedback in previous years) and we want to hear your thoughts! This survey is our way to hear what you liked, what you found confusing, what you can't wait to do again next year. Your feedback is extra important this year since so much changed.

Also, it's how we collect your masterposts to share and how you enter your name in the prize drawing. You have until August 7th to fill out the survey.

>>Survey here!<<

Post-Fest hang out

What: Come hang out with Cas and Lin in discord after Fest concludes! We'd love to chat about the cool things you all did during Fest this year, how much we loved the different Fest characters, and anything else Cafe related.

Also, we really enjoyed the quiplash game Ruggsie hosted the other night so we are very likely to play some more while we chat.

When: Saturday Aug 3rd at 10pm ET (After readalong ends.) It's on the Fest events calendar as well.

More social events?

We have loved all the movies, game nights, even TTRPGs that happened during Fest this year and we hope to see more of them throughout the year! To help make that happen...

If you want to host a game night, a watch party, a special readalong, or any other events, let us know and we'll add it to the calendar!! (Either the watch party or the Cafe one, both linked at the end of this post.)

To help willing hosts know what to show, if there are any movies you missed or wish people would host, or any specific games you'd like to play please say so in the replies of this post!

The Saturday Cafe: August 10th, 24th

Come join us in the fandom Slack or Discord as we write, draw, sprint, plot, brainstorm, cheerlead, and generally have a good time trying to get things done together. If you’d like an invite to the Slack or Discord, go ahead and message @castillon02 or @spiritofcamelot!

Long Fic Readalong, Saturdays at 9pm ET

Join us in the Discord while we read a fic together. We are reading Bond'n'Roll by CMDAK. We will be picking up on Saturday with chapter 16!

We’d love to see you there. You are welcome to listen if you don’t or can’t read aloud!     When: Saturdays at 9pm eastern/6pm Pacific. Where: We’ll be reading on discord in the readalongs channel. (Invite to discord here)

Please join us to read, to just hang out and listen, and to generally enjoy a good story together!

Weekly events:

WIP Wednesday: You can post an excerpt of your WIP on our post or make your own post and mention the @mi6-cafe. Either way it’s a fun way to show people what you’re working on, Bond fandom or otherwise.

Weekly Bond movies: Hosted by womble every Sunday at 8am Pacific time, join us in Discord to watch one of the Bond movies. Keep an eye on the watch party calendar linked below for updates.

Want to host your own event in the Discord or elsewhere? Let us know about it so we can add it to the calendars!

Calendars

Watch Party Calendar MI6 Cafe Calendar   If you need help adding these calendars to your personal one, check out this post.

[redstringraven]

For Cassia: 3, 8, 11! And for Nyxram: 1, 6, 11!

<:D!! AAAAA thank you so much!

Secret Ask List

-------------------- .: • CASSIA --------------------

3) what song describes your oc?

cassia is one of those ocs where the music i find for her playlist is almost all vibes and not really based on lyrics. it's the energy of the music, the way it makes you wanna move or bob or sing along. that being said: "rage" by hyper crush and "joyride" by kesha immediately make me think of her. lyrically, "i love it" by icona pop might be a good fit.

8) what hobbies does your oc have? what do they do to unwind?

cassia's major hobby is rollerskating! but she's also super into street art, and she enjoys beautifying her favorite areas of new york in a manner of silly or meaningful ways. when she's at home, she also enjoys random doodling--mostly ideas for graffiti or future street art--learning dances from her favorite music videos, and playing a variety of video games.

11) what was your inspiration for your oc?

i distinctly remember driving to my local movie trading company to see if they had any physical dvds for tmnt'03, and "girlfriend" by avril lavigne came on spotify shuffle. for whatever reason, i got the image of a pink-haired girl in rollerskates, and she wouldn't leave my head. cassia's my first tmnt oc, and i think she was always meant to be kind of like april in that she's a grounding presence in their otherwise chaotic lives. despite how high-energy and mischievous she is, she's extremely stable and does regularly go to therapy, which has made her more thoughtful and aware of others along with herself. her biggest conflicts come from being an out trans-girl in the 90s and early 2000s, but none of it is tied to her immediate family (her parents ADORE her). she is, for the most part, about as ''''average'''' a civilian in the tmnt'03 world as you can get. i dunno! i think i kind of just wanted to give them all another anchor of sorts, another safe haven. cassia's parents, oliver and esme, also become guardian figures to the turtles in a sense (especially mikey). esme loves to mother them.

-------------------- .: • NYXRAM ----------------------------

1) does your oc have a voice claim, if so who?

god yes. nyx's voice claim is shohreh aghdashloo. the moment i heard her as enforcer grayson in arcane, i pointed at the screen and muttered: "you". as someone who's very picky about these sorts of things i seriously feel like it was gift-wrapped to me. >xD shohreh also provides the voice for the dragon in damsel, which is a dumb as hell movie but i will continue to listen to it for the sake of hearing her talk.

6) if your oc is in a fantasy setting, what profession would they be in the modern day?

kind of a weird question, since 'modern day' implies that this is more a difference in time period? e-e;; i imagine she'd likely still have assassin roots, but. after the rebellion succeeds, the republic begins to rebuild, and the games are disbanded, nyxram takes it upon herself to use her family's "estate" as a sanctuary for the animals used in the games, since most of them can't be returned to their natural habitats due to injuries and/or being raised in captivity. so! i think a potential "modern day" or "human" profession for her might be owning and managing something like an old friends senior dogs sanctuary. providing housing, love, and comfort for older animals when most folks want younger pets, and ensuring that their last few years are happy and safe. she's taken so much life, so... it feels like giving back, in a way.

11) what was your inspiration for your oc?

@/plantdonut doesn't live with me (alas), but if she did, i would have turned to her during our '03 rewatch a few years ago and asked, bluntly, "why do all the triceratons gotta be dudes? where're my giant, amazon warrior dinosaurs?". and within a few days, i was practicing my hand at drawing triceratons, so i could make it so. my two major points of inspiration for nyx come from cassandra cain (2nd batgirl, pre-new52) and john wick. cassandra for being... basically born and bred to be the perfect assassin, only to have 'too much' compassion and love and guilt and go hero instead, and john wick for being a 'baba yaga' to anyone who knows his name. not the boogeyman, but the one you send to kill the boogeyman. the idea of a triceraton assassin was very cool to me, given that they're often a straight-forward, loud, and blunt force to face with little concern for being subtle. it also draws an interesting connection to her and the turtles; at some point nyx comments that despite their practice being tied to assassins such as herself, any blood on their hands comes from self-defense. in some ways, she envies them. but in many more, she doesn't. she's the sole survivor of her clutch, and the only one of her siblings to 'earn' a name. she was, in a way, a political move--a gift/tool offered to the prime leader to ensure that her parents had a connection to power and could continue their own work with protection from punishment. ...they just didn't expect for her to want something else. since the triceratons seem to have a handful of 'nods' and aesthetics pointing toward the roman empire, i named nyxram after the greek goddess 'nyx', the personification and substance of night. i also specifically use greek spelling with her, whereas her parents will have roman spelling of their names to further emphasize her 'otherness' from triceraton society as a whole.

[theatrescribbles]

Vanilla Ice Cream

When Lily gets ill, who better but her co-Head Boy to take care of her.

Inspired by the songs "Where's My Shoe" and "Vanilla Ice Cream" from the (in my opinion, underrated) musical She Loves Me.

@jilymicrofics Feb challenge Day 3: Care (yes, I know I'm late) (932 words)

Read on A03 (or below)

“Lancelot!” proclaimed a boy with unruly black hair, and the portrait to the Head’s Common Room swung open. The boy did not waste a second to climb through the door and to reach the red-haired (and also red-nosed due to all the sneezing) girl stirring on the sofa, a blanket covering her, with a flask of probably-now cold tea and a huge box of tissues on the table in front of the sofa.

“Oh good, you’re awake” he said “How are you feeling?”

“Bit better, head’s still throbbing a bi-choo!” The boy smiled down at her. He couldn’t believe how adorable she was, even when she was ill; even when her hair went in all directions and was frizzy, even when her nose was as red as said hair, even when despite the red nose, the rest of her skin was almost ghost white and there were dark circles under her eyes; even with all that she was still the most beautiful thing in existence.

He's loved taking care of his very ill friend; he would do it for the rest of their lives if she let him.

The girl looked around to the window outside, and must have noticed the sun was on the verge of setting….

“Oh Merlin! What time is it?!”

“Nearly half past 6. Don’t worry, I’ve brought you up a snack-“

“WHAT! Why didn’t you wake me up before, Ja-choo! I’ve got to go for rounds! I can’t be late for the first Heads-round of the year!” Lily stood up threw off the blanket and started rummaging around the floor, though he swore she swayed a little bit while doing so. “Where’s my shoe?!”

James looked at her bewildered, pushing his glasses further up his nose. “Lily,” he said calmly “Do you honestly think you can go on rounds tonight? You look awful.”

“Of course I ca-choo!”

“You’ve been asleep all afternoon, you’re still in your pyjamas!” Very cute ones he would add too.

“I’m much better now”

“You sure about that?”

“Of course I am! Where have you hidden my shoe?”

“I think you should lie back down Lily-“

“Don’t just stand there, help me find my other shoe!”

“You can barely stand up. You’re still shivering”

“Don’t lie to me James Potter, where’s my shoe?!”

“Evans, you’re hysterical! Sit down!”

“I will not sit down Potter until I have found my God-damn shoe!!”

Right, James thought. That’s it; and before she knew what was happening, James picked her up, almost flinging her onto his right shoulder. Lily struggled wildly against him, kicking ferociously and batting her fists against his back.

“Put me down Potter! RIGHT NOW!!”

“No way Evans. Not until you realise that there is no way you would be well enough to step out of the common room door, let alone go and do your usual rounds all over the school!”

Almost instantly she stopped kicking and almost seemed to sag into his shoulder.

“ACHOO!”

Well that was it then wasn’t it? She knew when to give up. Almost instantly, Lily felt herself being gently dropped from James’ hold back onto the sofa, laying her down. He draped her tartan blanket back over her, and she felt an instant warmth from it. She hadn’t realised just how cold she had been without it draped over her and she left out a huge shiver.

“I’m sorry” she whimpered quietly. “But who’s going to do rounds if not me-choo!”

James laughed. “Don’t you worry about that Flower. Anyway, I’ve got you a present.”

“Have you really? I bet its homework”

“Better than that! I know this is your favourite flavour, so here you are, sorry if it has melted a bit…” And from his robes, James pulled out a tub of vanilla ice cream and a spoon. A little bit of colour returned to her pale face, blushing from her cheeks.

“Where did you get this?”

“Kitchens. One of the House Elves served my parents before we set him free to help Dumbledore here. So I always like to pop down occasionally.”

He handed down the tub of ice cream to Lily, coincidentally brushing her hands. She started looking at the packaging on the ice cream, gingerly turning the tub round and round in her hands.

“When I was little” she said “My mum always used to give me this when I was under the weather. That’s why it’s my favourite” She took the spoon from James hand and took a small scoop of the now very soft ice cream. It was delicious.

“Thank you James”

He beamed down at her.

“Now, you get plenty of rest and eat, you’ll feel better. Oh, and don’t worry about a thing, I’ll take care of everything” He bent down and gave the top of her head a light kiss. “And you’re welcome.” He got up, dusted down his robes turned around but paused.

“James are you ok?”

“Under the weather?”

“What do you mean?”

“What does ‘under the weather’ mean?”

Lily laughed. “It’s just a Muggle saying. Sorry, I shouldn’t blurt them out like that, I forgot you don’t always understa-choo!”

James sent one last smile her way before heading out of the portrait door hole.

Lily reached out for the ice cream again and started eating, and with each mouthful of sweet vanilla, she felt a little better, she could feel it; though by the time she got to sleep, there was something that still bugged her – she still couldn’t work out why her head was tingling just as much as her tongue….. She was simply stunned!